#shes the one that sent the message
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#literally losing my mind over this with my sister#shes the one that sent the message#GOD I'm obsessed with this video
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I'm really struggling with communication right now, so I'm gonna be a bit distant for a bit. I really appreciate the patience n kindness 💗
#i feel like ive been struggling to get back to people all month#ty especially to the anon who sent a kind message irt my post about processing familial death / alienation when#everyone related to you has passed with society valuing blood relation etc#im gonna try and find a therapist soon (again) bc. Just a lot going on internally.#like. today i realized that I have only seen a message of 'i love you' from my mom written for someone else.#bc she didnt get to ever write one for me. or if she ever had it was kept from me#and it really messed with me today#idk I just always get messed up in the period between birthday and holidays n overthink. but i hope everyone else is well#and im sorry if i havent been able to be there for you if youre reading this and have been waiting for my response.#I really wish that as I got older I got more well / stronger mentally.
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She is offering water to any lost travelers! However, it's so hot that the water has become tea, so she's adjusted accordingly!
#neopets#neotag#neoart#kiko#slorg#aquanutart#this was for a western themed beauty contest last year! it was very fun! :D i'm so happy we were able to be part of it!#and by 'very fun' i mean it's completely exhausting and i can only handle participating once or twice a year#but it is very exciting too! she gave tea to everyone who stopped by. she was very happy to be able to help so many visitors!#i actually forgot until i checked whether this was from one or two years ago... my sense of time as an adult is --- *waves hand vaguely*#i'm so sorry for all the messages i didn't answer. specifically to the user who sent me a really kind message out of the blue#about how they got the slugawoo avvie from my quiggle's lookup. i didn't even know you could get the avvie from his lookup#so i was very happy to find out!! and i was happy there might be more people getting the avvie from his lookup i didn't know about#and i wanted to tell them how absolutely happy it made me and my brain said ' you should respond to this right away or you won't do it'#and i thought you fool. of course i'll make sure to do something this important#and i kept thinking about it for the past year and thinking i will do it. i will do it#but when i thought about writing the words that were floating in my mind the whole time i would feel blocked#this happens all the time and i'm sorry. it really does make me so happy#and then they deleted all the neomails but thankfully i had it saved so i still was able to find their username and send a message thankyou#i'm very glad
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you ever have a breakdown because you see a post from a friend you haven't spoken to in a long time and realize that you aren't friends anymore and want to cry cause you still love them even though you don't talk but they don't respond when you reach out so like what can you do?
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Just remembered being 12, exploring ff.net for the first time, not knowing literally anything about fic conventions yet, and seeing bunches of fics with something like “AU” or “pure AU” or what have you
And thinking to myself
“Au like… the chemical symbol for gold?? Pure Au like you’re declaring your fic to be pure gold?! Hmmmmmmm idk guys that seems Way too bold a claim to make.”
#fanfiction#i also think sometimes about one of my favourite fic authors back then#who went legit and had links to her real published books on her profile#and I in a blind panic of concern for this total stranger#sent her a message So Concerned because she’d put her Real Name on the internet#I’m sure she thought I was a stalker not an anxious tweenager#I hope she’s well lol#anyway my work vpn isn’t loading so this has been#random nostalgia facts with the ghost ship
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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What I love about Warframe as a newcomer is that there doesn't seem to be any sort of shipping wars or fandom discourse at all. I've been into a lot of shooters before (ie. Overwatch, Apex Legends, etc.) so Warframe is a huge breath of fresh, clean air.
💯
#yeah there’s no warframe shipping wars that I’m aware of tbh lol I know people heavily ship Stalker and Hunhow but you probably won’t meet#those two for a bit. not a big emphasis on fan service or shipping for this game tbh#only discourse I know about was rightie incels getting mad about Equinox being nonbinary and the devs made the pronouns she/her to calm#everyone down about the whole thing but that was many years ago#and on the women’s day Facebook post Equinox was noticeably absent from the image they made for it in recent years :)#so that implies equinox is nonbinary and uses she/her pronouns which I think is cool and a clever way to go about giving us nonbiney frame#outside of Xaku of course! but that’s the biggest incident I can think of and I think there’s a polyamory frame too can’t remember which 1#accidentally progressive W giving a nonbinary character she her pronouns ngl#any sort of ‘discourse’ I’ve seen usually comes from#comes from queerphobes (idk why it sent I wasn’t done typing) who are acting in bad faith#and comes from bad faith folks who have no reading comprehension about the lore and anti-capitalist messages of the in game story#I’ve seen a lot of self shippers here too; one of my moots self ships with Solaris which is cool#cephalon simaris* is what I meant damn autocorrect#if there are shipping wars and discourse I’m not very aware of it and it never gets big enough to breach containment or make its way to me#I can’t find the specific women’s day image unfortunately anymore but I remember being like oh hell yeah#warframe confession#warframe#mod rose
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Was just talking w a mutual and had a realization during the chat that I thought I’d share. Taylor has essentially given our little korner of the internet TTPD secret sessions w all these anon messages. Many of these messages were literally sent a whole yr ago so there’s no way anyone could’ve known what the next album was gonna be abt back then and written us these messages to troll us. It’s like she was giving us a teaser of the concepts and ideas and song rough drafts as she was writing them which is absolutely crazy to think abt. So she actually did continue her tradition of having secret sessions before the album release but just did it in a much more covert way this time. A true secret session lol. I always wanted to win the lottery and I guess I did just not in the way I thought I would. I’m not really sure why she chose to do that and give us the context for all these songs but I’m extremely grateful and honored she did
#like this is w/out a doubt the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me in my life#and it will be even crazier if she ever confirms she was the one who sent those messages#pumpkin
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publicly kissing @meebles on the forehead for being extremely lovely about the inevitable byproduct of cowriting a dinosaur cowboy au with someone for whom dinosaurs are a special interest
#ask me how many hours i spent today researching hadrosaurs. just bc she asked me about including them bc they're cute (and they are)#and i immediately went down the rabbithole on how big the different ones were and thinking about the logistics of supporting a herd of them#and how many messages i sent her about it once i figured it out#or actually dont ask 😂😂#i also took 30 minutes to answer a question on the possibility of baby dinos in the context we'd been talking about#and then went off on a tangent on the ethics of breeding de-exctincted animals 😂😂
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is this what addiction feels like
thank you so much for every single person out there who is just as mentally deranged as i am, i love you with all that is left of my heart 🫶🫶🫶❤️❤️❤️❤️
#1000 likes#tumblr milestone#tysm for the pretty people that liked my posts#tysm for that one woman that was my first follower even though she posted cooking recipes and cat videos in five different languages#(i hadn’t even posted anything)#uhm#tysm for ann that shows me support with each post i make no matter how stupid and lifts me up with her kickass talents and how i get a rush#of happiness each time i get a comment or message from her#tysm for wil (can i call you that?) that gave me the motivation to post in those first few days when he sent me the ask that gave me a#severe serotonin boost#tysm for james that could be quite literally the sweetest being alive#also tysm for jhonny you’re cool asf i want to study your brain and write a case study and publish it#and thank you so much to all my mutuals i might never say anything to you but i regularly check your posts and love y’all#also tysm to those that like my insanity fueled content (i do recognize your user every time you like one of my posts lol)#so uhm#thank you a lot for making my stay here wonderful#i hope it’s going to last a long time#you all just keep being awesome
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I need to stop overthinking my friendships with people because I got the courage to go back to my room yesterday since like early october and my best friend who I havent texted for almost 2 months and felt like he hates me even though that makes completely no sense heard and we started chatting and laughing like no time has passed
#and on the group chat my housemates dkd actually notice i came back becajse they were all celebrating even tho ive been isolating myself#which is nice#they dont seem as scary as they did back in september#there is one girl i have to text back tho because she sent me a message back then too like genuinely worried and it was super sweet but i#couldnt get my myself to reply and ive been feeling so guilty because its been 6 weeks#she keeps to herself and doesnt seem t get along with the rest im feeling?#and she unfollowed me everywhere which idk what that could mean#maybe bc I didn't reply she took that as 'oh i crossed boundaries and she doesnt seem to be interested'#so ill apologise#lasar being incoherent
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Hi I found coa a while back and I’m obsessed with it and I was wondering if you’ll ever work on it again? No pressure or anything just curious
heyo
first, thank you for reading. second, it’s honestly unlikely i’ll return to coa. jw4 did the opposite of inspiring me — it was a massive let down and it kinda killed my hype for the franchise :// I think i’m at a point where i’m done fooling myself and can admit that the characters in that series have outgrown coa boundaries.
however, if you like coa you might be happy to hear but all all original characters in that series, including v herself, are main characters in the original novel series i’m working on.
#i just want to tell my own stories and characters like v/hector/lucien etc deserve their own world and their own agency#coa was great as a stepping stone but those characters outgrew that story#they’re so much richer and full fledged than fill ins I initially had them down as#but sincere thank you to everyone who ever read it and sent me messages#coa did so much for me#i created v as comfort character so long ago & she’s given me so many amazing friends and new ideas#i hope everyone who read coa can one day read my original novels and enjoy them just as much if not more#asks
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Hey bnd stans, if you're ever reading boynextdoor fanfiction and come across @wonsungno please run away. They've stolen lots of works from another actual author yet they don't see the problem with it?? Idek man this person is veryyyyy delusional.
#yuvie 💌 !#i love that when im not talking about my ults im alerting other fandoms about plagiarizers#did i spell that right??#oh and i think she was the one that sent that anon message to me#but then again idk#NO BUT THE TEA IS SO HOT I DEFINITELY SUGGEST READING WHAT HAPPEN#shes so embarrassing 😭😭#anyways this might be a good time to say BUT IM BECOMING A ONEDOOR WOOHOO#i wont write for them unfortunately (they dont have the *chemistry*)#but i do enjoy reading about them ☺️#my bias.... is like taesan and sungho#but like.. only in certain eras#they dont captivate me the *entire* time like my ults#which makes me sad#but its wtv#also *cough cough* the era i was talking about was ew&f#SPEAKING OF WHICH I WENT TO THE INTERNATIONAL MARKET AND THEY WERE PLAYING THE MV#AND THEY PLAYED TALK SAXY#I HAD TO HOLD BACK MY SCREAMS BECAUSE LORDDDDDDDD#anyways im supposed to be sleeping rn hehe#typing sideways is so hard#anyways gn mwah bye#dont copy others!! be original!!!!!!!!!#and if yall ever see someone coping me PLEASE let me know#anyways gn mwah bye x2
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?
@ablogofsapphicpanic no question. The amount of times I've sent her a voice note confessing the most absurd sins for her to immediately absolve them has been numerous
#just this week i sent a twenty minute message asking if she thought less of me for objectively shitty opinions#and she was like nah girl youre right#i have to send voice notes so she cant one day cancel me for my sandwich opinions
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Time for another adventure !! Convention let's gooooo
Today I thought I would channel Winchester vibes for my outfit and the legendary Charlie Bradbury for my hair
(I have had to take on so many extra shifts to afford all of these conventions RIP. but I thought fuck it you only live once. 2024 is officially Con Year(tm))
#my friend just sent me a message to say ner train is delayed and Im sobbing because I got up at 6.30am to catch this one to meet her#I wasnt even going to go to this one but she asked if I would come with her and I have no will power#it's Pie's face#Pie's con adventures
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