#shes my protector

[sondermouse]

You know what? In real life, as an adult, I've been always ashamed that I still believed in magic and all the unnatural point of view about the world surrounding us. I tried hiding it and seem "normal" between me and other acquaintances. A few years back later when I saw that there are other people here on tumblr that still managed to keep that belief I finally felt good with myself

and so. keep that fantasy world real you guys! It does wonderful things to your brain and soul <3

Maybe its about inner child self care or dunno but its liberating

[astearisms]

catalysts, protectors

[kayberrie]

broke: Ahsoka and Rex swap outfits and it’s horribly obvious plus fits badly

woke: Ahsoka and Rex swap outfits and look absolutely amazing in their new fits

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Daddy, don't go.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[idyllicbby]

this is the true version of Sev, not whatever weird ass fanon version of her that ppl who don’t fully understand her character think she is.

[cry-ptidd]

Does Vlad cause problems in the manor, or is he more of a good kid (unlike his adult counterpart)?

He can be a bit of trouble from time to time ngl

[bread-wizards]

I think a lot of the meta about Orym forgets that Orym isn't just an adventurer, he is a former bodyguard. His self worth is tied up in how well he can protect people and especially his loved ones. Thats why he sold his future to a hag, because its all he had left to give in order to be able to help.

Thats also why he seems so angry after FCG's death.

Otohan has killed his husband and father. Then him. Then he is brought back and told she also killed Fearne and Laudna. She killed Eshteross. She almost kills Keyleth. Now FCG has to sacrifice himself to save them all and kill Otohan and Orym was knocked out for it.

His job is to protect people and even with the added power from Nana Morri, it's still not enough. 6 years later and his loved ones are still dying and he can do nothing but watch.

[pettyprocrastination]

whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!

this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!

warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her. 

So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak. 

You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work 

you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then 

nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place. 

On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after

it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him. 

but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening. 

its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail. 

Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn

its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench. 

there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency. 

when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-

all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river

Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay 

“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.” 

he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself. 

but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything

its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found. 

Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there. 

Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames. 

“We’re gonna find her, but not there.” 

So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did. 

He became a smuggler because of it. 

Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way. 

But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course. 

The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him. 

But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles 

“You think she would have wanted this for you?” 

the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence. 

“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.” 

All he can do is nod. 

It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit. 

It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live. 

Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago. 

its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo” 

when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them. 

Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands. 

He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face. 

Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity. 

“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?” 

Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be. 

But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.

“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.” 

Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again. 

“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.” 

He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples. 

“One.” 

The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun. 

“Two”

Wait. No, they both do.

“Three.” 

Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins. 

“Four.” 

Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet. 

Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?” 

Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless. 

Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.

When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same. 

She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head. 

“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”

He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun. 

“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?” 

[moonsmistresss]

The patron saint of Naples-Saint Gennaro

[langernameohnebedeutung]

.

[krashlite]

C!Pearl’s a character who people usually only analyze from DL onwards, with her Scarlet Pearl arc influencing future seasons. However, I think it’s very important to look at LL when talking about her, since that season formed a lot of her fundamental viewpoints in this game, viewpoints she’s forced to unpack in later seasons.

LL was the most chaotic and violent season BY FAR, even including LimL! The deaths in LimL were very much gamified, while in LL every life counted. The main lesson the three newcomers learned is that the world is cruel and they can never truly trust anyone. Well, except Pearl didn’t learn that second lesson

Mumbo and Lizzie both spent LL in a constant state of either panic or confusion, with there being a few very brief breaks between. This is the case for LL in general, but with the newcomers it’s so much more startling. They don’t know how this goes, and they see Experienced players paranoid alongside them.

Not to mention Mumbo and Lizzie were constantly put in situations where they couldn’t trust the people around them, whether it be because of a boogeyman or any other reason. With them being in a group of 4-5 people, there was a much higher chance of them being betrayed and they never let themselves relax

Pearl definitely experienced the same panic and confusion, but she adapted much quicker than they did. This is mostly due to Scott being her ally- him being pretty consistent and calm as a person. Not to mention, Pearl only had a single person to worry about, when other alliances had 4-5 people to consider. Any one of them could turn and still have a place with the other members, but a group of two didn’t

(Also sidebar, 3L turned into a game of factions, so in LL everyone immediately started with factions, the exceptions being Ren, Lizzie, Pearl, and Scott. Ren was recovering from his Red King arc and ashamed of his former self, while Pearl and Lizzie were new and hadn’t been adopted into a group like Mumbo had. Scott’s reasoning for picking a small group is that he only stayed safe in 3L when him and Jimmy were fairly isolated, so that’s why he will usually opt for a group of two. Anyways)

Since Scott Only had her, he wasn’t about to turn on her and Pearl knew this. When Cleo later joins the group, she isn’t a risk either due to the circumstances of her joining. Cleo was betrayed, they were killed by a boogeyman in their group. BigB’s betrayal hit so hard that Cleo named him her sworn enemy. Why would they turn on Pearl if this affected them so much? Pearl is able to lean on them comfortably, even as the rest of the server begins to target the alliance (for a green name I might add! Pearl was safest for the longest amount of time this season)

Pearl could trust her team, and her team was honestly well provided for. They had nether goods, they had a spawner, Pearl had enough lives to keep them stable for a few deaths. They’d managed to defend themselves against Constant invasions and weren’t backing down anytime soon.

As for others, Pearl only ever saw them if they wanted to rob her or kill her, having very few interactions outside of that. This establishes that theft and threats are one and the same, with robberies threatening their resources and their survival and threats being, well, threats

The main lesson Pearl learns here is that her team are the only people she can trust, and she trusts them wholeheartedly. They will always have her back, they will always steer her in the right direction. The world is hostile, but they’ll face it together. What Pearl doesn’t learn is impulse control. Her impulse control came in the form of Scott and Cleo, with them being much more cautious than she is

Because of them, Pearl made it to the final four in her FIRST SEASON. This is incredibly impressive, Especially considering how, again, LL was the most violent and chaotic season. She might’ve fallen in the final melee, but she rested easy knowing her teammate won. She had gotten him there, and counts it as a personal victory

When DL rolls around, Pearl employs the same tactics as the last season. LL had a very quick race for resources at the start, specifically for sugar cane and goods from the nether. So Pearl assumes it’s the same thing. She’s preparing for the same chaotic environment as LL and is reassured by the soulmate feature

In her mind, her soulmate is her one designated ally. She trusts them wholeheartedly and assumes they feel the same. No matter what they face, she knows they’ll face it together

Except that isn’t what happens

As it turns out, Scott was her soulmate. But she overlooked one key detail about him- Scott plays it safe. He doesn’t endanger himself unless absolutely necessary. She’d previously assumed it was a matter of practicality, but really it’s a means of defending his own peace above all else, even at the expense of others

So her little trip to the nether with Martyn didn’t just endanger them, it endangered their soulmates. It endangered Cleo and it endangered Scott

Their response is to abandon their soulmates because they felt abandoned. They don’t feel that they can trust their soulmates because of the fact that said soulmates were prioritizing a dangerous mission over them. Except Pearl doesn’t understand this. All she sees is that they abandoned her after she went on a dangerous mission For Them, a mission she would have been previously praised for

Pearl is dropped by the very people she trusted with her life last season, and she doesn’t know Why. To say this crushes her is an understatement

It wasn’t just a rejection from her former friends, it’s a betrayal of a fundamental worldview she developed last season. How could a group that was basically family abandon her just like that? If her designated ally wanted nothing to do with her, then whats the point in trusting anyone?

That last question is pushed to the side, with her insisting on Tilly being her true soulmate. Tilly would never abandon her, she can trust Tilly wholeheartedly. Except Tilly dies almost immediately afterwards, starting her Scarlet Pearl arc

(And I do want to say, I consider Tilly to be fully Dead. The second wolf was a different wolf entirely, but Pearl was in a state of delirium and wanted so badly to have someone to rely on. If it couldn’t be another player, then it would be her dog. Funnily enough, this actually comes up later but that’s an asterisk*)

This arc was basically a constant downwards spiral for Pearl. Any foundation she had was immediately uprooted, any alliance she formed immediately fell apart. This stressed her out to the point she wasn’t sleeping and frequently acted out against the people in her surroundings. Pearl was not maintaining herself in the slightest, her mental state affecting those around her. The main examples I can think of is her stealing horses and sitting in powdered snow to punish Scott, both of which do have explanations

Again, Pearl is basing her actions off of LL, even if she doesn’t realize it. Her alliance was robbed over and over again, usually for things like sugar cane and nether goods. These are things that are high value because they help a team survive. When it comes to pets and livestock, they really weren’t considered unless they were being held ransom. In LL, being stolen from was a threat to someone’s survival

Except this isn’t LL and Pearl is just starting to realize that, with every alliance being stable from an outside perspective. She’s using these thefts to test the waters. If something happens, she’s right to be paranoid and right to lash out. If nothing happens, she can relax, which she does! After stealing Scar’s horse she does briefly stop tormenting the server, instead going back to watching the others.

(^^ I might have the timeline wrong here btw it’s been a second)

As for Scott, her sitting in powdered snow has different connotations than it does for other alliances. She isn’t the only person to hurt her soulmate in this way, Scar actually being the one to suggest this. For Scar it was a harmless but irritating way to get back at Grian for kicking out the Jellie Pandas. It hurt, but it wasn’t meant to actually endanger the other (still abuse btw, just a different kind). For Pearl, her sitting in powdered snow was a tactic intended to make Scott feel unsafe. If he valued his precious security so much that he kicked her to the wolves, then she won’t let him have a moment’s peace.

But going back to the horses- stealing Ren and BigB’s horse was the moment things changed for her. This theft resulted in both of them dying, confirming the idea that thefts threaten someone’s survival. Except Pearl never meant to endanger them, as shown with her defending their items when none other than Scott and Cleo come to scavenge them.

When Ren and BigB return, it’s Pearl who gets blamed for the death, not the circumstances. The blame shifts from the world being cruel, to Pearl herself being cruel. Pearl is unable to cope with this, isolating in response. She sees every other pair finding peace and joy in one another, but she destroys everything she touches. In her mind, she IS the cruelty that exists in the world and nobody is coming to save her.

I think Pearl actually blames herself for Ren and BigB falling apart, which she finds out about when Ren and Martyn “summon” her. This actually affirms the lesson she Just learned, with her accepting the role of Scarlet Pearl. Previously, it was just an act but now it felt more real

She goes on to purposefully endanger others, seeing this as her true role on the server. Pearl had been wearing her red skin before this, but that was only to show her state of mind. Now, she was fully playing into this role, as seen with the fishing rod incident and, again, stealing armor from Boat Boys as a means of threatening their survival

I don’t think Pearl expected to be threatened in return, and her subsequent death did give her a moment of clarity. She was made to understand that her existence in this state was inherently risky, and she needed to be more careful. I think that was the driving force for her seeking out Scott and Cleo to form a tentative alliance. Pearl hasn’t forgiven them at this point, but knew she needed them if she was to last. This forces her to have some level of impulse control, instead of only relying on those around hee

Them being her failsafe put her in a difficult situation when it comes to her Scarlet Pearl role. She was a “Red,” that’s her job, but her team still needed her. But they’re not her team, but she needs them, but she can’t trust them, not after what they did.

But she has to, and that’s what ultimately brings her to side with them; necessity. She doesn’t like them, she doesn’t trust them, a sentiment they return, but she needs them.

The world is cruel, Pearl is cruel, and she needs to defend herself and her own peace- a lesson that, funnily enough, she picked up from Scott

Ultimately Pearl doesn’t learn to care about either of them until the moment she dies. ESPECIALLY Cleo, who ended up siding with Martyn in the end. But it’s Scott’s sacrifice that cuts through the callous she’d developed over the course of the season. He gave his life for her. Scott sacrificed himself FOR HER. The action doubles as changing her perception of him as a person and changing her perception of the world. Scott wasn’t the selfish man she made him out to be, and the world wasn’t filled with senseless cruelty.

Pearl hasn’t learned to trust again, but she’s able to begin the process in LimL

Enter: BigB

BigB’s someone who has had shaky alliances over the ENTIRE series. This started in 3L when the other two Blue Sword Boys ended up on opposing sides of a war, him trapped between them. He learned that season that ultimately he was the only person he could trust. In LL, his initial decision to stay with Cleo then the fairy fort was one made out of necessity, NOT trust. BigB was a sitting duck on his own, and he wasn’t about to have a repeat of last season he got targeted over and over again for being isolated.

And I do think that he cared about the Fairy Fort, they gave him a sense of genuine security that he hasn’t had before. So him being the cause of the Fairy Fort’s collapse gave him a Crisis

The last person he was able to trust that season was Ren, and Ren ended up being his soulmate in DL. Except due to the cheater’s arc BigB blames himself their demise in DL as well (Again, there was shared blame across all parties I made an entire long post about this already).

So BigB is going into LimL with the same lesson Pearl has just begun unpacking; They are the cruelty/danger that exists in the world and can never truly rely on anyone

(Also second sidebar, this is something I love about LimL. Everyone coincidentally got an alliance with matching wounds, but moving on)

The first thing Pearl actually does this season is try to retrieve Tilly, her dog she thinks is still alive. (And here’s that asterisk*) what actually happens is Martyn jokes that he cremated her dog, and Pearl’s unintentionally forced to understand that her dog is dead, she’s Been dead since the start of DL. Breaking apart that delusion was actually Very important to her breaking apart her worldview. If that information was false, what else was she wrong about?

And this is explored through her alliance with BigB. See, the Nosey Neighbors were a fresh start for both of them. They both were re-learning how to trust themselves and others, relearning how to care for others and be cared for in turn. Them watching the server was a lighthearted way to vent their paranoia- again, both unpacking how they view the world and how they view themselves

LimL as a season did a lot to defang the games, for lack of a better term. The deaths were very much gamified, they weren’t nearly as serious as they previously were. Pearl and BigB used this environment to reflect on themselves. The world was chaotic, yes, but it wasn’t as cruel as they thought it was. THEY aren’t as cruel as they thought they were

Pearl makes the decision to be his protector, treating this as a test to show she doesn’t destroy everything she touches. Except, she hasn’t unpacked how she sees herself as cruel, only points that “cruelty” away from those she cares about, and that’s why acting as Protector comes so naturally to her

This is reinforced over the course of the season, but it’s only ever confronted towards the end after Grian’s plan resulted in the three of them being shot. BigB was left with under a minute left, causing Pearl to panic. Pearl immediately insisted he kill her for more time, with BigB panicking in turn because he “didn’t know how.” He was scared of breaking the bond they’d developed over the season and Pearl cut through that fear without hesitation

And here’s where her role as protector is solidified. The world is cruel and unjust, and everyone deserves to have someone to rely on. Pearl would be the foundation for others since nobody else was going to be.

Pearl had already made a promise to herself and to BigB to get him to the end. He would win that season if she had anything to say about it. Except Pearl isn’t able to keep her promise to BigB. He dies just out of eyeshot, and she is helpless to save him

Pearl doesn’t give up on being a protector, this decision influencing a lot of her actions in SL. She wants to be a solid foundation for the Mounders because she knows the importance of having that foundation- she knows the pain a lack of foundation can cause.

Also, the Mounders being a larger group acts as proof that she’s able to trust others again, even if that doesn’t register to her. Remember, LL created the precedent that larger groups are more dangerous, with smaller alliances being much safer. Pearl being able to function comfortably in a group of 4 just goes to show how much she’s grown as a character

SL goes on to challenge her new worldview in several ways. First it was Mumbo turning Red, him becoming excessively violent like he’d been in LL. This actually acts as a mirror to Pearl’s former self, since Mumbo’s pulling from the same logic she was pulling from in DL. Remember, Mumbo hasn’t been in other seasons, his only experience with the games was the confusion and paranoia of LL (I think the lighthearted confusion of the tasks actually triggered his and Lizzie’s paranoia, but that’s another essay). He hasn’t had a chance to unpack that like Pearl has, and she sees this as a failure on her part, doubling down on her Protector role for Joel and Bdubs

Second, Joel and Bdubs, losing their lives. Pearl was forced to reckon with the fact that she cannot keep them safe in the same way she couldn’t keep BigB safe last season. It brings back her fears of destroying everything she touches, even though she worked so hard to unpack that last season. She sees them dying as her failing to be their protector, and her clinging to Scar is a response to that. Pearl needed to prove to herself that she can save Someone, that she doesn’t destroy everything she’s a part of.

Pearl also sees Scar as an echo of who she was in DL, same as Mumbo. She refuses to let him spiral in his isolation. Except, circumstances make it clear to her that she cannot save him by being his protector, she cannot save him at all.

And so she attempts to sacrifice herself for him, just like Scott had done for her. Pearl thinks she will ultimately cause his demise and the only thing she can do is give her life for him

But Scar immediately shoots that idea down.

This is because Scar was unpacking the exact same idea- the idea that he is inherently cruel and destroys everything he touches. Scar recognized that Pearl was self destructing and Did Not Let Her. Pearl wasn’t allowed to be his protector, she’s allowed to be his ally, his equal

Pearl in turn is allowed to see herself not as a force to be controlled, but a person. I don’t think she even realized how she’d been dehumanizing herself until this moment

And I think she has conflicting feelings on Scar’s victory. On the one hand, she achieved her goal in having an ally make it to the end. On the other, Scar’s victory challenged what it even meant to win the games. Pearl doesn’t know if the victory was worth the path it took to get there, and she’s left in that headspace until the next season

[mylittleversaille]

Every day I see more and more pop myth takes that make me want to pull my eyelashes out. No, Ares was not a protector of women. No, Aphrodite was not a war goddess (and you know what, being the goddess of sex and lust and beaut is okay!). No, Hera is not an irredeemable villain. No, Zeus is not evil incarnate. No Achilles isn’t without fault or some ‘gay softboi’ icon (he’s literally presented in the Iliad as someone who is proud to a fault. You’re supposed to recognize that he’s selfish and arrogant). No, Demeter was not an overbearing mother nor was Hades some sort of misunderstood, brooding knight in shining armour. Medea is allowed to commit heinous crimes and still be a sympathetic character. Jason… deserves all the hate he gets, respectfully.

Off the top of my head, I think Helen is one of the few people who gets complex, interesting characterization in modern retellings and discourse, ironically enough. She’s allowed to be vain and aware of her own beauty while also often having a great deal of agency. At the same time, she is frequently depicted as both victim and as offender. She’s allowed to want to be in Troy, but also to miss her husband and daughter.

Some days I feel like I could write essays about pop mythology and the way people reduce mythological figures to one dimensional caricatures. And how these retellings are never as progressive as people think, fixing some issues but exacerbating others. I do think retellings end up being an excellent resource for identifying what social issues bother us and how we would like to address them.

For example, we see a lot of feminist retellings that want to show women as capable of the same things as men, and in so doing they reject or deride their own femininity. But a retelling that is ultimately saying that masculinity is more interesting or valuable than femininity isn’t a truly feminist retelling, but it does show us that our society struggles to find femininity compatible with strength or courage.

[starrysharks]

melody hoshimoto aka pigtail star !!

[thyhauntedmansion]

Miranda hating Cassandra for virtually no reason you say? Enough to deem her THE Annoyance?.. Cassandra herself can’t even stand Miranda?

Perhaps they were just at odds with each other… in another time.

[hornetposting]

colored old hornet doodles 💖

[thesoftestmess]

this might not be canon, but personally i need furina to struggle a whole lot longer and harder with post-prophecy depression and mental illness. She's played the same tiring and painful act for five centuries, was constantly in a life or death scenario and had to hide her true self from the world the entire time and she won't just recover in a few years from that.

There's parts of her that will never ever be compatible with a simple human lifestyle, and parts of her that are irreparably broken. She isn't sure of her personality after everything that happened and the lie she had to live. She slips between personas and her archon temperament comes through like a defensive mechanism at any sign of conflict or trouble.

She's plagued by nightmares. Of the flood, of the trial, of the people closest to her conspiring against her behind her back, and of being found out in a million terrible ways. Of saying the wrong thing, making a wrong decision. Of being found out, of being found out, of being found out.

Lying or keeping a secret feels existential still. Being honest still feels life threatening sometimes. Putting herself first feels like putting both hands on a hot stove.

She doesn't live in the palais anymore, doesn't have to sit through trials anymore, but her heart and soul are still there. In her dreams she's still at the place she spent her entire life's memories at.

Yes, she can make new memories, but it'll take time. More time than she has, maybe, now that she's the closest to being human she'll ever be.

She'll never be human in the way the people around her are.

What sort of human has 500 years worth of memories after all? What human tells personal anecdotes and mixes up their centuries?

What sort of human can feel the absence of their divinity like it's a physical thing? A voice that will never speak to her again, or keep her alive? What human has no family, no childhood?

What human remembers so little, but still remembers death somewhere deep within?

She jerks out of sleep from it sometimes, gasping for air, and spends the rest of the night awake, almost frozen by fear. The flood is over, but it's hard to convince her racing heart that the danger is too.

Humans have entire family trees that go generations back, but Furina was put into this world a solitary creature, her blood heavy with sin ever since she turned human.

She owns a hydro vision now and doesn't know how to yield it, but the ocean still calls out to her some days. Sea creatures flock to her like they can smell she's not human enough.

She learns how to make little hydro companions for herself, so the darkness and emptiness of her apartment feels less ominous when she lies awake at night.

She can't turn her vision into a weapon quite yet, but when it rains the droplets seem to cling to her. She's watched them roll upwards along her arm, watched them gather in her palm like kin. She wonders if sea creatures flock to neuvillette in a similar way, or if his immense power makes them recoil. She wonders if elemental dragons can feel regret. Wonders if he, too, ever feels entirely foreign in that human body he was given. If he, too, lies awake trying to grasp faint memories of a past life.

She's extremely human in the way she's plagued by body pains from not being able to relax just one day in five centuries. The years catch up with her once she gets out of survival mode, and fatigue is a constant companion now. Sleep comes difficultly and getting out of bed was easier when the fate of a whole nation depended on it. On her. She's never lived for just herself before and some days she's not sure she wants to.

She did her duty and earned her retirement and the story turned out well, all things considered. She still has people by her side, some of them.

Still, she feels raw and tired and overwhelmed by the life lying ahead of her. As a human and as someone who will always be Something Else.