#shes like alright you can know.
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Rabbit Burrow
(3,785 words) Part 1 (part 2 found here)
Tony Becker, one year after surviving the attack from GGY, tracks down Gregory post-SB. But he has to get through Vanessa before he can get to Gregory.
Tony likes to think his detective skills are pretty good. So when he swings a leg over the seat of his bike and wheels it near the entrance, he hopes it's the right place.
He'd tracked down Gregory to this apartment complex somewhere in Gale county. It's still in Hurricane, and Tony had been able to reach it with just a bus ride. The apartment is somewhat run-down, but clean enough to where you can tell it's well kept, just old. The air conditioning units he passes on the way to the front door are brand new.
He'd taken the closest bus to Gale county right after school let out. He'd been restless all day up until finally acting on his findings. Tony has been searching for Gregory for a year. Finally finding something and having to wait for his middle school day to end was agonizing. He just hopes his Mom and Grandma wont be too mad at him.
He'd wrestled his bike he'd ridden to school that day discreetly onto the bus and wedged it in-between his legs and the seat in front of him. The air had been humid and thick all day with the signs of a storm, and Tony had seen the dark clouds and heard the thunder peeking over the treeline outside the bus window on the way here. He ducks inside the front door and beats the rain by seconds.
"Can I help you?" The receptionist asks him, giving him a weird look when he steps inside. Shes a lady with long, styled black hair and covered in jewelry. Tony tries not to look too suspicious as he sends her a polite smile, heading to the elevator on the wall to the left. He would also be wary if someone he'd never seen walked into a resident building.
"Just seeing an old friend." He tells her. He presses the button to the third floor and tries to break her gaze by stepping behind the closing doors. The elevator shakes a bit before moving up.
He tries to take a deep breath. Theres some kind of excitement floating around in his chest at the fact that he's done it, but he pushes it down, lowering his expectations.
Despite his theories, he really has no clue what to expect. Theres some sort of worry mixing with the excitement, and all he decides is that if he escaped once, he can do it again.
It both took too long and not fast enough when he finally reaches the third floor. He double checks his crumpled sheet of notebook paper in his hand once, then a second time, something nervous but anticipating thrumming in his veins.
He steps onto the beige carpet of the long hallway, fresh vacuum marks in it, and follows the number plates by each door before coming to a stop near the middle of the hall.
3-05 The plate reads back to him. He quadruple checks his paper again. Its right.
He sighs out deeply, not even realizing he was holding his breath. Despite himself, his brows crease ever so slightly.
He shakes it away, pushing past it. Maybe digging too deep is what got him into trouble before, but its different now. Tony... Tony's learned things during his search for Gregorys location. If there was any point during his investigation that he would call digging too deep, it would have been months earlier from now.
Besides. Tony has always been bad at staving off his curiosity.
He thunks his knuckles on the white wood of the door quickly after that, three times in succession. He kind of bluescreens for a second when he realizes what he just did, then shakes it off. Waiting with wide eyes at the door, watching for a rattling of a doorknob or listening for incoming footsteps.
Nothing. He waits a few more minutes before knocking again, this time a little louder and harder.
Tony perks up when footsteps finally near the door, and his lips part prematurely when the doorknob rattles, not even put-together words yet on his tongue. They fall away immediately when a woman with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail opens the door, one of those chain locks keeping it open maximum of three inches. "Hello?"
He stutters for a moment, words lost on his tongue, before he clears his throat, putting on a polite smile. "Hi, there." He says. "Um. Who are you?"
"I should be asking you that, kid." The woman raises a brow at him, never opening the door more than the chain lock allows it. She peers at him through the gap, and Tony tries as discreetly as possible to look past her head and shoulder into the apartment itself. "What are you doing here?"
When he looks back, shes still looking at him in a way Tony can only describe as cautious. The light in the hallway on the ceiling is flickering, and it casts split second shadows on the womans face that makes the bags under her eyes that much more prominent and her face that much more intimidating. "Well?"
Tony realizes he hasnt answered, and coughs slighty. "Oh. Sorry." He says, reluctant to continue. "I'm... I'm looking for Gregory."
Tony watches intensely to see if the name rings a bell or catches her attention. Just as he expects, her face twists ever so slightly in recognition. Tony catches something adjacent to panic or fear in her eyes until it's gone not half a second later.
"Who's asking?" She asks eventually, voice carefully even after a what appeared to Tony to be a mini conundrum in her head.
"His friend." He answers honestly. He ducks his head when the woman scrutinizes him, looking almost angry, but restrained enough to not show it. "I mean it," He says earnestly. "he and I... we were best friends. Last year. I came here to look for him."
Her eyes widen ever so slightly at that, and she studies him, eyes flicking back and forth over his face and his clothes and his hair. Tony doesnt miss the way her eyes linger for a millisecond on his scars. Its silent in the hall save for the two looking at eachother, and the buzzing of the flickering light on the ceiling is enough to save him from hearing his own heartbeat.
"Okay." She says eventually, and Tony subconsciously feels himself sag a bit at the relief that he won't turned away right as he was this close. She shuts the door without a word, and all Tony can do is stare at the peeling landlord white paint on the door as the sounds of the woman unlatching the multiple locks on the other side reach his ears. He waits patiently, until she cracks the door open not much wider than it had been with the lock, but just enough to fit his body in. "Come in. But no word to anyone. Got it?"
About what? Tony's about to ask, but then he steps through the door and the words die on his tongue.
"Oh." He says outwardly when Glamrock Freddy Fazbear sits on the couch. His body is adjacent to the patchwork quilt Tony has on his bed that his Grandma made him, and any of the makeup he had been painted with has long since scratched off.
His eyes are shut, and theres two jump cables attached to his ears that are plugged into a portable something. He doesn't so much as twitch when Tony enters the room.
The woman gives him a look after she re-locks only the deadbolt behind him and passes him into the apartment. "Oh." He repeats. "Not a word."
She nods at him, and it's only now that Tony can see the rest of her that isnt just her face. Shes in her twenties, if he had to guess, and she has a white tank top on with some sort of stain near the collar along with Hello Kitty fleece pajama pants. Her socks are mismatched and her nails are painted a purple color that could rival the deep bags under her eyes.
She collapses into an armchair (which hes pretty sure has a mismatched leg attached to it half-hazardously) and only looks at him silently as he steps further into the house, not so discreetly angling his body to get a peek past walls and open doors across the house.
Shes about to speak when Tony does first, "Wheres Greg?" He asks straight up. "Can I see him?"
Her lips twitch, and she just leans further back into the chair. The TV is playing some sort of Spring baking show, and the droning of the host mixes with the pattering of the rain on the window on the wall by the TV.
Anticipation and impatient-ness buzzes under his skin at being right here, and this woman undoubtedly knowing Gregory certainly doesnt help.
She only hesitates for a moment, but Tony can see the influx of thoughts that undoubtedly ran through her mind. She opens her mouth, taking a slow breath, before, "At school."
"He goes to school?" Tony gasps slightly, eyes widening. He moves to the couch, toeing past Freddy Fazbear as to not touch him even with just a brush of his jeans before sitting down, facing her. "What school?"
"He goes to Raindrop." The woman tells him, seemingly not hesitating this time.
It doesn't ring a bell, but it must be a middle school in Gale county. "...I go to Hailstorm." Tony says. "We both did. Or used to."
She stares at him after that, fingers drumming on the arm of her chair. She says nothing, just scrutinizing him, before, "You sure have a lot of cryptic ways of telling me how you used to know Gregory."
He wants to apologize, because it seems like what to do in response to that statement, but for some reason, that feeling in his gut he's learned to trust as his Detective sense tells him that he shouldn't.
Shes still looking at him intensely, and the rain outside pattering on the window somehow feels louder. There's some thunder outside that rumbles the floor, and the lighting casts a shadow on the living room. A few white lines across the coffee table caused by the blinds covering the window.
Her face doesnt so much as twitch, he notices, and she doesn't blink when she looks at him. Her green eyes bore into him, almost glowing in the shadow cast beneath her bangs. It reminds him of how he'd done to her not minutes ago. What he does to people he wants to analyze. To see how they react to something.
That's what shes waiting for, he realizes. He has a feeling that if he doesnt match her cryptic bluntness and instead apologizes and caves that easily, that it will somehow result in her turning him away.
Theres a glint in her eye when he becomes aware of reality again enough to look, and he thinks she somehow just came to the conclusion that Tony figured it out.
Then, he tries to sit up a bit straighter, and muster up that same glint mirroring back at him. "You sure have a cryptic way of letting me know you dont trust me."
Her mouth twitches slightly, but its all Tony needs to know he'd guessed correctly.
Its silent for a moment, and the woman grabs the remote on the next arm over and pauses the baking show she'd been watching. She shifts in the red velvet seat, as if getting comfortable, before, "Tell me how you know Gregory, and I'll tell you how I know him."
He has a feeling he isnt getting to Gregory unless he gets through this woman first, so he clears his throat, leaning his forearms on his knees.
"Me and Gregory met early last year at the beginning of the school year." He begins. "Right after summer ended in August. He was the new kid, and he sat at our table at lunch since it was mostly empty. Me and my friend arent the most popular, so there was room to spare."
She waves a hand, signaling him to stop. "Your friend?" She asks. He nods. "How many of there were you?"
"...Just me and E-- my friend." He says. "There were two of us, and when Greg sat at our table, we remembered how he looked a little lost earlier in class and we introduced ourselves. Then we just... clicked, I guess. He would partner with us in creative writing."
"Writing, huh?" She smiles slightly.
"Yeah." He replies. "Then, it was just business as usual for the months afterwards." He pauses, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket he loves so much that reminds him of the trenchcoats big city investigators wear. "Then... I had gotten wrapped up in this mystery."
She shifts, crossing a leg over the over and holding her hands together. "A mystery?"
Tony nods, remembering it like it was yesterday. He thumbs the part of arm where a scar is on his arm that his jacket covers. "The three of us would always go to the arcade in the Pizzaplex." He tells her. "And one day, I noticed high scores that seemed impossible to reach, and I became obsessed with solving who it was who had gotten there."
Tony thinks hes very good at reading people. So he doesn't think it's just his imagination when the woman in front of him goes a little rigid in her seat.
Theres some sort of creases under her eyes, Tony notices, that weren't there before.
"What did you do?" She asks.
Tony has a feeling that she somehow knows already. So he doesnt beat around the bush.
"I solved the mystery, eventually." Tony says. "Because GGY had been Gregory, and he'd invited me to the Pizzaplex and tried to kill me."
She sags a bit, looking somehow infinitely more tired, but no surprise detected. "But you survived."
"Not..." He shakes his head, picking at the skin by his fingernails. "I wouldn't have. If not for Greg saving me."
"Huh?"
"He--" Tony searches for the words, looking at the carpet between his knees and remembering that afternoon in every vivid detail he'd looked over countless times before. "He'd tried to kill me, yeah, but... he was almost fighting himself as he did it. He was like having a fistfight with himself."
He doesn't look up at her, he just keeps remembering how Gregory had gone rigid right before plunging the knife into Tony's gut a second time and stopped himself. How it had looked like somebody yanked Gregory backwards, but it had been his own self throwing his body. Just so he didnt hurt Tony again.
"He looked like he was a malfunctioning robot." He recalls. "He was like, hitting himself, and was making noises like he was fighting something. I was too frozen to move at the time, but then he threw me a really high security pass for the Pizzaplex and told me to run."
Then he had collapsed in front of him, like he was holding himself down. He doesn't tell the woman, though.
He looks back up to see her staring, eyes wide in suprise. She looks deep in thought for all but a few moments before shaking herself out of it. "So what did you do?"
"I ran." Tony says. "He had got me already. He stabbed me in the back, the first time. That was how I knew he was attacking me in the first place. But I ran away with the pass, and I went to a room with a ton of monitors and erased the security footage."
Her eyes blow wide as saucers, that time. "You got stabbed," she begins. "and instead of getting help, you erase the security footage?"
"Yeah." Tony nods. "Greg would have gotten in trouble if I didnt."
She's silent, after that. Tony just keeps picking at the skin on his fingers. "I somehow knew that Gregory didnt deserve to be. He just..." Tony trails off. "He didnt seem..."
"Seem like himself?" She suddenly cuts in, and Tony's eyes widen.
He nods, a small tilt of his head, and the woman sighs. "That's what being mind controlled will do to you."
A year ago, probably longer by now, Tony would have never believed that. He would have never thought something so outlandish that is only ever shown in fiction could be a possibility.
Not that he was wrong, to. Really, anyone in their right mind wouldnt think so. But things have changed since then.
And Tony has seen a lot of things during his search that probably nobody else has. Plus, This woman has been so cryptic up to this point. If she told him this straight up, and it's clear that she knows Gregory...
Suddenly, everything that day seems to make perfect sense. And everything he'd found that he'd filed away into his little mental Gregory crazy wall.
(He'd used to call it evidence wall, like normal people do. But, well, at some point, maybe Tony had thought the things he'd been finding were a bit too crazy to deem as normal.)
Theres been a stretch of silence while Tony had been taking that in, and he only breaks it to say, "Is mind control a topic you're familiar with in this house?"
Her eye twitches, a bit. And now that Tony is looking for it, he notices that same strange sheen on her eyes that Gregory had during their friendship. That weird red tinted film that makes their eyes turn a completely different color when the light hits them right.
Tony doesnt yet understand how the mind control Gregory had been under works, but all he can hope is that there are some side effects.
She stares at him, eyes narrow, and theres another roar of thunder outside the window.
"Who are you?"
"Tony." He answers. "Tony Becker. Ring a bell?"
She hums, and she looks at him in a way where he feels like he's being dissected.
"He didnt remember anything for a while." She says eventually. "But hes been having dreams, lately. Sometimes he talks about two kids he used to be friends with."
"Me and Ellis." Tony's eyes widen. It doesn't even occur to him that he shouldn't share Ellis's name.
"He worries about you." She says. "I've heard him say he hopes you're okay. You and that other kid. You must have been close if he remembers being that good of friends with the two of you."
"We were." Tony replies. Memories of him, Ellis, and Greg going to the Pizzaplex and trying to get the most dunks in the basketball hoops flash in his mind. He thinks about when Gregory would come over to Tony's little run down house that he shares with his Grandma, and they write graphic novels together for the fun of it.
Gregory liked to call them comics before he'd suddenly decided that stuff wasnt cool anymore and stopped coming over. It had been like everything Tony saw him enjoy that wasnt painfully average for a child suddenly didn't mean anything to him anymore.
And then Gregory tried to kill him in a dusty back room.
Everything hed given up seems to make more sense now. It wasnt willingly at all.
"He doesn't remember your names." She speaks up suddenly, ripping Tony out of his thoughts. "But he remembers more and more every time he has a dream. Something reminded him of you one day, I guess. That must have been when it started."
Tony opens his mouth, but the beeping of a digital clock interrupts him. He follows the womans arm as it reaches across the seat to turn it off.
The time reads 5:00pm.
He watches as she looks over at him, and nods to the door. "After school activity." She informs him, getting up out of the seat. His eyes follow her as she moves towards the front door. "I'm his ride."
Tony's eyes widen at the implications. "So I just--"
"Stay here." She tells him. She grabs a flannel off of the small coat rack by the front door and slips it on, sliding some Adidas sandals on top of her socks and reaching in the pocket of the coat to grab car keys. She pulls them out, and Tony notices that theres a keychain of a white rabbit dangling from the key ring.
The breath is suddenly stolen from his lungs, and he bolts off of the couch, a buzzing under his skin. "You're bringing him?"
She nods to Freddy Fazbear. "If you can wait." She smiles at him, and it's the first time Tony has seen her smile, instead of the carefully kept nonchalant-ness. "He'll wake up pretty soon once he's done charging. So you won't be completely alone."
Tony doesnt know what to say to that. Thousands of words spawned from the thousands of thoughts hes had about finding and tracking down Gregory are on the tip of his tongue, but he only gets any out when the woman begins to leave the house.
"Wait!" Tony reaches out a hand. She turns around, a brow raised. The door is still slightly ajar, and the sound of heavy rain reaches his ears. "What's your name?"
She smiles a bit at the question. "Vanessa."
"Vanessa," He asks, oddly desperate. "Dont tell him I'm here." He swallows. "I want to see him remember me."
Vanessa tilts her head, but nods after a moment. "Sure, kid."
She smiles one last time on her way out, and says, "Tony Becker."
The sound of the rain outside disperses when the door shuts and locks, and Tony doesnt move for a long while. He just stares at the landlord white door, electricity under his skin and something floaty in his stomach.
Greg. He thinks in his mind when he finally rips himself away and looks around some more, seeing a door propped slightly open down the hall with a bed and a desk with pencils and paper strewn all about. He doesn't dare go in, but stares at what he can see. Its been a while.
The silence is numbing, when he can only hear the faint whirring of Freddy Fazbear on the couch next to him and the rain on the window, he plants himself on the couch cushion next to the animatronic, grabbing the remote and resuming the baking show Vanessa had been watching.
He doesn't listen to a word. He just trembles with anticipation and bobs his leg up and down as he stares at a random corner of the screen.
ao3 link
#i had a lot of fun with this one. if you need help understanding the strange interactions between tony and vanessa#its supposed to be a right of passage i guess. vanessa doesnt want anybody else to get involved#or to drag back any of the vanny & ggy stuff.#not if theyre not serious. so if tony had apologized#it would have shown vanessa that she shouldnt humor him and to just turn him away so he doesnt get involved#because he'd just be a scared kid looking for his friend.#but tony matching her and showing that he understood the test and is still serious about it#& he also matches with gregorys descriptions#shes like alright you can know.#theres meant to be a part 2 to this little oneshot thing where gregory and tony actually reunite#but i still need to plan it out. ive been obsessed with detective rabbit reuniting for a bit now and wanting to write it so#it shouldnt take too long. but no promises lol#just wanted to write tony and experiment with something new and this happened :) it was fun#my fics#pandas writes#tony becker#fnaf gregory#detective rabbit#ggy#tales from the pizzaplex#twoshot#gregory#tony#ellis#vanessa#3 star fam#freddy#also rabbit burrow is a reference to the saying rabbit hole#but i made it burrow because like tony said#he crossed the line a long time ago
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!
#for finncakes.arts dtiys on instagram... i missed you wxs#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#polysho#my ipad did not survive this one its at 3% after like 5 procreate crashes#and sending me visions of it being put down like a dog. Not happening#kirapipi album release im FREE#wxs getting 1 another wanopo comm and 2 a traditional japanese style song. ive been saying they need it. emu deep voice can save the world#I drew emus recent card the untrained but i dont KNOW HOW TO RENDER SNYMORE IDK HOW TO DO IT. SO SHES TRAPPED#in my wip art timeloop for eternity.#tsukasa is pissing me off so bad in this no matter how many times i drew and redrew his head imhe just completely breaks the illusion of#depth i think i actually did alright on rui and emu. i love how theynlook. Went hard rendering tsukasas outfit i guess which.#pisses me off MORE. its NOT THE FOCAL POINT. TSUKASA INHOPE YOUR NEXT LIM HAIRCUT IS EVEN MORE STUPID. YOURE RUINING MY LIFE.#whats supposed to be his hand is so fucked up with the perspective too helppp me just pretend its nenes.#the tonal difference from my ladt post is so funny. fuck you siffrin you stupud cat
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.
#canon laios would blurt out 'why do you look like our dad' and fisticuffs ensue.#shuro........ is a little more complicated#if canon shuro doesnt think too hard about it and just treats the other him like a stranger then theres no problem#on the other hand i imagine he holds himself to high standards and if he sees his other self doing things he considers improper or uncouth.#i imagine hed only speak up if he saw it happen A Lot like hed pull him aside like hey... what the fuck#thered be a bit of 'holy shit i woulda turned out like THAT??' on both sides#roleswap shuro would often get frustrated but i think hed understand that like. thats how the culture is like he lived it too#but i think similarly hed watch laios steamroll og shuro and eventually be like. DUDE. just say something#shorter fuse lmao. anyways still turning this AU over in my head#how much more forward can shuro be before hes unbelievably out of character...#and what if they switched universes!!!!#if laios switched. it would be immediately obvious something is up in the og universe but it may be chalked up to like#a weird mood..... though maybe the party starts to wonder 'hey... is it not possible this is a shapeshifter' 😭#but og laios in the roleswap universe...#tbh havent thought too hard on what the party dynamics in that universe might be like assuming all else is the same save for the roleswap#i imagine chilchuck would still get on alright as long as hes being paid upfront and laios is still attentive/ recognises his abilities#and limitations also. marcille................................... hmm#she might treat him more formally and be less close.... may perceive him as more threatening at first meeting#(in terms of like. 'taking falin away' i mean if that makes sense)#but well. u kno how in canon laios Does notice a lot of things about his companions and has a very pragmatic view that surprises them#and they dont tend to notice until he says it aloud because its often overlooked cos of his. everything else.#well. id imagine roleswap laios still notices things but simply would not say it aloud.#the party would also be like .. dude... did he hit his head#if SHURO swapped...................... well it depends when exactly it happened#i imagine it could be a bigger issue with the retainers#im losing steam cos my lower back hurt so bad adgfsdfg i cant get a good position on this chair#but for shuro himself i imagine it would be nightmarish lmao.#roleswap (henceforth RS) shuro would wake up as an adult with the retainers like. ??? was that all a dream?? did i never make it out#meanwhile og shuro ending up god knows where..........#if he ended up with the retainers again he might not immediately realise somethings amiss and try to act normally
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this room was built for one chair only,
i'm not empty, i'm just lonely
#arknights#muelsyse#arknights muelsyse#lone trail#my art#<- i am moonlight elegy on twt#anyway WHEW i went out of my comfort zone TWICE here...#i never draw backgrounds (you can tell) and i never draw flowers (you can tell)#but they're meant to be lilies... symbolising loneliness and sadness.... hehehe#i'll be honest i came out of lone trail like eh mumu's alright. not my favourite but i don't dislike her#and then she ends up being the first one i draw from the relevant characters. standing man emoji#i got insp for this while listening to ho'olheyak's theme too btw L O L#also i know there's details missing from her outfit but consider. deciphering and drawing arknights designs is sometimes a ball ache#gorgeous to look at. but don't make me do it or i'll scream and throw up
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Hellooo i saw that you were asking for asks (that sounds funny) and I wanna know some of your hcs on Kevin and Allison being besties/ kevjean relationship
This is my chance to finally share some Allison/Kevin hcs so I'm gonna seize this opportunity with both hands and give you this total MESS of a brain dump
- Allison is the only fox that doesn't make fun of Kevin's eating habits. Kevin KNOWS his relationship with food is fucked up because of the nest and Allison knows it too, so she refuses to make bets or make fun of the way that he eats. Kevin only realised because she once tried to quietly tell Nicky to knock it off when he was pushing Kevin to have dessert or making fun of what he'd decided to have instead.
- Kevin also knows not to talk about the numbers or macros in front of her, too. They have a weird unspoken mutual respect RE: food and they both appreciate each others efforts on that front without ever actually mentioning it. they also have a gesture for each other that's code for "i want a snack do you have anything" and they'll throw each other protein bars if they're out/on a long bus journey etc.
- they are the BEST drinking buddies. Whenever the team starts drinking/partying/clubbing more together post-TKM, they are literally CHILDREN when they're drunk together. Kevin gets tired of the monsters being boring when they go out and there's only so much dancing he can do with just Nicky and Aaron alone. So Allison pulls him up to the bar one night to do a tequila shot, and they literally have the most unexpectedly fun night ever. Kevin loosens up a whole lot without the threat of Riko etc post tkm, and when I tell you he is such a fun drunk. now he doesn't really drink THAT much during the season but off-season? oh he's a party animal. I could write thousands of words about him and Allison getting drunk together and becoming literal best friends as soon as they have a drop of alcohol in their systems but here's some things I think they've done drunk
stole a shopping cart and sat in it as they pushed each other down the road in it (and fallen out of it and laughed so fucking hard) ((but were bruised up as fuck the next day because of it)
he's sat her on his shoulders - while dan sits on matt's - as the two girls try to push the other one off
he's really easily convinced to do things by her. another shot? sure. and another shot IMMEDIATELY after that? alrighty! karaoke? well, okay. jockeyback? stealing traffic cones? pulling pranks and fucking with the other foxes? acting like actual teenagers? okidokie!
she's probably the only person in the world who has successfully convinced kevin day to sing
he holds back her hair if she has to puke
she convinced him to let her do his makeup once. full glam. like a serious look, fully beat, full coverage look. there's a picture out there somewhere of it that she saves for blackmail.
fucked. make out sometimes. strip poker. they dance together :)
he never lets her walk alone anywhere when she's drunk. if she can't find one of the girls to accompany her to the bathroom at a party she'll take him.
she's taught him full dance routines
she was joking that there's no way the raven warmups could be that different to theirs, and bet him that she'd be able to do them without breaking a sweat (he won)
they've both ugly drunk cried in front of each other (but they never talk about that sober)
she's pretty light so he's bench pressed her before
- They know each others drink orders/favourite shots
- if Allison is out, say she's with her friends and not with the foxes, and she has to wait alone for a taxi or walk somewhere alone, she'll call him and he'll stay on the phone with her until she's safe
- They make fun of each other and bully each other like there's no tomorrow (affectionate). the whole "Allison hates Kevin" thing WAS true for a while, but once they get closer, she just pretends to hate him. he's like an annoying brother to her
- Allison is really easily frightened, and Kevin thinks it's funny to scare her. she's never safe walking around a corner or into a room if Kevin is there and in a good mood.
- they're not BEST FRIENDS. like they're not in each others pocket all the time and laughing and joking ALL THE TIME but she can read him like a book. she knows when he's having an off day, or thinking about something too much.
- She also knows when he's being serious and when not to joke around. She knows when he doesn't want cheering up or to joke about something and knows when to back off. The same with him - he knows when she's having a mood that requires being cheered up, or a mood that requires him to leave her the fuck alone.
- He's a big reason why she puts a whole lot more of herself into Exy post tkm. She's always been invested, but once they talk more, and they consider each other friends, she listens to him talking about Exy and it really clicks for her. his dedication. and also how fucking talented he really is. She doesn't do the night training with him but they'll occasionally go to the gym together or start practice a half an hour early to run some basic raven drills.
- They're iconic when they get together to do press after games. they bounce off each other like nothing else. they're just so funny. and he's also like andy murray in that he will ALWAYS defend her, dan, and renee's talent if interviewers start to focus more on him instead of the girls. he'll step in if an interviewer says something shitty or misogynistic. she LOVES directing objectifying and misogynistic questions his way.
- She calls him a bitch and makes fun of him for being a nepo baby. He calls her an asshole and makes fun of her for being a rich kid.
- Have gone to banquets as each others date.
that's just a few random thoughts off the top of my head but yes. Allison and Kevin. Literally the only Two Pretty Best Friends ever to exist.
#i know this might feel ooc for kevin but just think about it#first of all taking these as individual moments rather than a constant thing#they're not cuddling as besties and painting each others nails and talking about boys#or doing all of these things ALL THE TIME#like#maybe it's just me#but if Kevin loosened up a bit and let himself enjoy things a bit more#post-TKM#i really could see them being friends alright#hes gaining a lot of courage and the foxes are pretty united#so theyre going out more together#and he CAN drink to have fun#and Allison IS fun#and they have fun TOGETHER#okay! i have read some stuff recently about allison being hit or miss for some people#but i love her (even if it is an extension of her that ive made up in my head)#and i've pretty much based their entire hypothetical friendship off that part in tkm when they're in the cabins#and someone says she could sleep with kevin#and she makes a loud retching sound as if that's the grossest thing ever#(and unless you want to unleash the unhinged kevallison in me dont get me started on them hooking up fr)#allison reynolds#kevin day#aftg#mine
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´;ω;`)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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petition for ppl to stop trying to deny Ichigo’s title as a delinquent on the grounds of him being a good student. you know delinquency and good grades aren’t mutually exclusive, right? you want to tell me Kurosaki Ichigo, THE Kurosaki Ichigo, a mix of 4 different races, can’t be a delinquent AND 11th in his school? yeah, you’re delusional.
no one’s gonna call you a delinquent just bc you have bad grades. a bad student? yes. but a delinquent? no, bc the definition of the word is “someone who tends to commit crime, particularly minor crime”, and as far as I’m aware beating up ppl is a crime, even if they start it and even if they’re bad.
embrace the reality of Kurosaki Ichigo, saviour of all three worlds, being a dumbass teenager who’s face is known to every cop in the area. the responders for 119 calls know Ichigo’s voice by heart, he says “hi” and they just sigh and ask “how many?”.
this is also a kind of continuation to my post about Grimmjow being in shock when seeing Ichigo out of Shinigami robes, bc we all know he likely thinks of Ichigo as a do-gooder and a law-abiding human (derogatory) and so he’s not surprised when he comes to the Human World and fucking everyone from officers to doctors smile at the guy with exclamations of “Oh, it’s Kurosaki!”. he is significantly more surprised when Tatsuki tells him exactly why they react like that. he loves it and Kurosaki gains two points of respect from him, but he’ll never know.
#bleach#kurosaki ichigo#grimmichi#let Ichigo be a delinquent ppl!!#he can be smart AND make dumb decisions like beating up 27 ppl barehanded#after the whole ‘saving the world’ bs is over he settles a little + everyone knows by now that messing with Kurosaki is a ticket to hell#and so Ichigo doesn’t get in as mang fights as he used to prompting both the police and ambulance to show up at the clinic#asking Isshin ‘is Ichigo alright? I haven’t arrived at the scene to see him bludgeoning thugs in weeks’#Tatsuki is the only person with enough balls to talk to Grimmjow like he can’t rip her throat out in seconds#Grimmjow respects the shit out of her + she tells him a lot of stuff abt Kurosaki he didn’t know#Grimmjow is okay w Chad and doesn’t want to rip Orihime apart but Tatsuki he actually likes#Ichigo teases him about that but also lives the rest of his life in dread bc ‘Grimmjow and Tatsuki are friends’#they fought each other for the position of president of the ‘Kurosaki Ichigo bullying club’#Tatsuki is the president. think of this what you will
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MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.
#act 3 come through please 🙏#I don't think it can salvage some of the things I have contentions with but still... please...#don't ask me about the silco vander flashback with jinxs + vis mom#or the bizzare choice to do so much of the storytelling through this weird music video format they've got going on#completely stripping it of the weight these plot beats could've had if they were... normal scenes#and also missing the point of how the music was used in season 1 and what made it so effective#bc it was complementary to instead of replacing the storytelling#seriously don't ask me about these things I will spontaneously implode on the spot#whyyyyy would they recontextualize season 1 like this with that flashback#to me it kind of ruins the character dynamics and themes in s1. it just makes me so sad you have no idea#also what even are they doing with Jinx rn for real#aaarghhhh just... so many things that are making me scratch my head#also I'm so terribly sorry but I could not care less about Isha sorry lol#like i get that its sad conceptually but she was such a non-character that i struggle to feel impacted at all#same with sky tbh. i thought her role in s1 was alright but there is so much emotional weight put on her now#in terms of her relationship to Viktor but that was barely established so it's weird to have her around#and clearly you're supposed to care but they haven't given me much reason to#isha and sky were non-characters just there to die to further the development of other characters#they didn't really have anything going on on their own and that's just a type of character and plot device that does nothing for me#also i thought the war between zaun and piltover + internal struggles in zaun bc silcos gone would be the main focus#but that stuff seems so sidetracked rn#also sorry i dont like what they did with vander and warwick either. that man should've stayed dead lol#it honestly just makes his death feel less impactful and i dont know what this is supposed to do for the story or the themes???#that just feels like a pointless plotline that is taking up time that could've been spent on other things#i just... i could go on like this for a while like there are so many things that just puzzle me#it's so weird considering how tight and thematically consistent season 1 was#let's see where act 3 goes but... i kinda have a bad feeling about it ngl#obv im glad others are enjoying it and this is just my opinion! also a lot of this are probs just my personal tastes anyway#arcane spoilers
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Rewatching act 2.... yeah ISHA WATCH OUT FOR THE CYCLE ISHA!!!!! NOOOOO
#ambessa setting up the logs on a fireplace while literally adding fuel to the fire with cailtyn... subtelty#silco spent his whole life trying to rile the undercity together STUPID JOKE THAT IT IS you have the chance to pull it off#isha is the true revolutionary after all... jinx get up to her level#was jinx scared of having hallucinations when the girl she released was gonna touch her shoulder??? and then she didn't#what i find really funny is that warwick knows how to use elevators and that funicular to the prison#also there is a lot of blood when he appears in the prison.... it was surprising#vander recognizing jinx with the name of powder after she complained about it eariler its just crazy crazy crazy#people commenting that its unrealistic how caitlyn bests vi when they meet in episode 6 as if there wasn't a montage about how she lost her#edge because of alcohol and living like shit.... she's not like jinx lmao....#rewatching so recently is so weird i imagine it is as close as being dr manhattan as i can get it is literally happening all at once#also the people of piltover are so dumb... lets let the government implement martial law and put this 20 something with 0 political#experience on charge with the army of this outsider agent. alright. i can tell you guys dont vote in this oligarchy you know fuck all#well i guess in that case it isnt the people of piltovers fault... just the important families that contribute in this oligarchy...#putting count fagula in charge.... salo is speciallt dumb but we all knew that#katie leung needs awards btw.... and interviews#“do not test this or you will yearn for caitlyn's dungeons” be careful singed my friend vi fell for that and look at her... her dungeons...#vander reaching for isha not jinx.... OR VI.... she just stopped him#“hes gonna kill you” and vi fighting vander to protect jinx.... yeah#and then she trusts jinx and the beast turns into vander... he serves as a recognizing tool for their true selves...#their mom being so worried about how to name vi and then names the second one POWDER kahdksjsk never not funny... also the barber of zaun#when vi joins with jayce she unlocks this loser flop aspect of her mother's inheritance.... two losers joining to maximize their joint flop#also vander kinda giving up this promise to protect the girls instead of bettering zaun... how it puts him in a standstill bc it's either or#like damn there is nothing as undoing as a daughter for reals. she didnt experience that bc she died so now vander has to and here we are#episide 6 starts with the end of the episode when viktor drops that metal piece..... hello..... is this anything#“do you think this place could work” underground utopia.... DYNASTIES AND DYSTOPIA FEAR IS NEVER AN OPTION SO DYING'S NOT A REAL PROBLEM#didnt ambessa suspect anything when they spent loke a full minite staring at each other 😭😭 she's lost her edge...#just like when she clocked sevika but not jinx... when there's a strong butch in the area her radar gets jammed up#and caitlyn leaving her weapon behind... ambessa thought she was gonna fistfight warwick or something#the metal thing falling when viktor dies repeats THREE TIMES WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#watching arcane season 2
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people on the "Stella did nothing wrong train" often argue that Stella too, is vulnerable and traumatized by the situation she was placed, same as Stolas. And they make grievance that "fans are wrong for supporting Stolas in his time, and adoring bird prince, but condemn Stella even tho she's in the same sitch"
y'all are forgetting Exhibit A!
Teh reason why fan are loving and supporting Stolas, and condemn Stella as the toxic bitch, is because Stolas - despite his circumstances - has tried to make this arrangement he has with his (ex)-former wife as comfortable and pleasant as possible. He has been nothing but kind, if not distance and perhaps respectful of her needs and desires - it is implied in the first episode and the childhood one, that he was tolerant and patient with Stella, despite her broadcasted hate for him, and her boastful claims that he was worthless as a Goitia.
A person can be hurt, traumatized, resentful, damaged by the circumstances of their birth and the legacy they are meant to inherit - it never gives them the right to torment and destroy someone else. It is never excusable for that person to hate and continue hurting someone who has done nothing but the best that could be done, in those situations. Stolas might have inherited a broken, preprogrammed hate monger, but he made the effort to extend compassion and kindness and make a home for that person; the response of one who is given the opportunity to do better, recover, or even reevaluate who they are and where they come from was squandered and destroyed - which seems to be Stella's go to method of internalizing her spite and anger for the world. She destroys everything good. She strangled a bunch of hellhound pups, or whatever those crechures were in the picture of her as a child.
Stella is actually a very deep and complicated character if you really look at her and her reactions to those around her. She does not appreciate her daughter, she despises Stolas (who she views as weak and pathetic, and a disgrace), and she is shallow as all fuck. Which has made her the person she is. And it is her own choice to behave and react in such a way, despite her privilege, despite her access to help and happiness (Stolas is medicated, and working on himself). But Stella is completely satisfied with who she is, and has no regard for others; which hurts those that would love her, or at the minimal could appreciate her company. If Stolas was a pompous and arrogant monster, like we thought he was in the pilot, STELLA STILL WOULDN'T BE HAPPY. Nothing would make her happy. Because her character type is one that intentionally destroys and hurts those around her, because she has unaddressed resentment for her circumstances.
But no amount of help or love, or extended support will fix her. Because Stella is not interested in fixing herself, or being a better person. Because she is perfectly happy with who she is, hurting others, because that right there is what gives her life purpose.
*yeets the mic*
#helluva boss#NEW EPISODE OMG#stolas#blitzø#stella#helluva boss full moon#it can be argued that stolas didnt know how to help or fix stella) but that isnt really his responsibility#stolas did what was available to him to make life with stella comfortable) hes tried for decades) for octavia#but he knows he isnt enough#and stella has to want to make this relationship work#and-and stella has said herself she likes to torment stolas) which right there defines she has no interest in being better for herself#stella thrives on hurting others and making others feel less than her) and i reiterate no matter who you are or what your trauma is#that is never alright) you dont get a pass) you dont get sympathy#stella is a monsters because she wants to be and it doesnt matter how loved or supported she it) she will destroy those around her#to make herself feel better and lift herself up
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HUEY IS FINALLY 3 YEARS OLD???
LET'S GOOO-
*ahem*
Anyways I don't have any gift for the moment because of... you know.
Oh well, I guess I'll only say this:
Happy birthday Huey! 🎉🎂
Huey and Scarfy by @xxtc-96xx
(Thank you TC for showing me your awesome concepts ^^)
#I know this is a fictional character but aaaaa I love his character so much aeeee 😭#TC WHY YOU GOTTA BRING THIS PRECIOUS BEAN IN THIS WORLD NOW I CRI 😭😭😭#Funny enough tho... A fictional character's birthday can be another creator's birthday 🤣#mewtwo#mewtwo oc#Also yes I'm not using traced drawing anymore. 🥲 This is my true drawing#I liked how it came out. And hopefully TC agrees too... that is if she ever finds this out 💀#Alright I'm talking too much now bai-#Huey you better not die now
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am i the only one bothered by how unserious an and haruka's bfes cards seem compared to the ones we've seen so far. the style is right up my alley but they just seem like normal cards to me
Actually yeah I was hesitant to bring this up but you are 100% correct. I'm withholding my judgement so far because 1) no full card yet 2) maybe their stories justify the way it's drawn but tbh I do feel let down. Compared to how somber and down-to-earth Rui and Kanade looked this really kinda rubs me the wrong way because I was expecting something of a similar style, and there's really no actual... Somber An card except for LUTF lmao. So this was part of why I was hesitant for An bloomfes and not as excited for it as I think some people expected me to be bc I had a particular wishful image for the card and wasn't really hopeful they'd do it. Sucks to see me being proven right though.
I won't say anything definitively for all we know it might tie into the story narratively but I was expecting something completely different. I mean like, look at them.
The new cards are not necessarily bad as much as they're different. It's not even about the style as much as it's about the scope and the composition; Rui and Kanade are relatively minor characters in a world that seems to reflect their inner state, they do not look at the camera in the same obvious way Haruka and An do. Rui is not directed at the viewer at all where Kanade is but she's also looking noticeably "beyond" the screen. Kanade's bloomfes is strikingly monochrome and colourless; Rui's colors are muted and realistic but neither pastel nor exaggerated bright like Haruka and An's are. Haruka and An also do not appear to interact with the world around them in the same emotional scope as Kanade and Rui do; while they are holding or interacting with something the items appear less symbolic and more generic. It's very easy to look at Kanade and Rui's bloomfes cards and pick them apart from the rest because something about them just seems... Different. Important. Standing out. An and Haruka, I don't think that is the case so far.
While we know from colorfes the common theme of the card stories does not necessarily reflect on the cards being similar, I do think it's completely fair to say that previous OC Bloomfes cards set up a certain standard and then did not deliver. It's hard to me to say why exactly because I can't pin it on fan service in the boy/girl character way; we do, however, know that Haruka and An are among less popular characters both in JP and fandom in general, so I don't think it's completely out there to say the company just straight up put less effort in their cards because they knew nobody would care that much, which is unfortunate.
I just hope the untrained and the card stories are good lmao.
#jay rambles.txt#jay gets asks.txt#you are correct and I'm happy I'm not alone in this feeling#I'm happy they did it Haruan which is not Emuan but close enough. frens :)#and I don't love the cards but I also don't hate them so it's alright lol#I'm skeptical about An's hair though. sorry she had a Bad History with ponytails. I don't trust them#if they make it another Giant Forehead case I swear to god.#edit to add: also tbh Haruka got a worse hand dealt to her than An#with An you can at least pinpoint her style and colora and themes in the card and there's also Sunflowers#Haruka's just look pastel. and it's full of penguins#which is just a case of the media mentioning characters favourite animal once and everyone gets obsessed with it and I don't really. get it#like what does the penguin themed decor have to do with Haruka's younger years exactly? which we know were Not easy to her?#mh.
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In my dream last night there was this collection of old comic books and they were like super old fashioned and yellowing and they were about a version of Jason who had first become robin while living in this orphanage/boarding school/academy. He had a few misadventures before meeting Batman, including one where he saved a baby Waylon Jones, and another where he got in trouble but managed to escape but not before Dick heard of it so then Jason had to go BACK and save him because they were both having a ‘I need to save the civilian’ moment. I should have noticed it was a dream because it had a 70s era Dick in the same comic as a Jason who I wouldn’t be surprised if he came from the Golden Age, but the real anachronism was that Batgirl Steph drawn in the 2000s BoP style appeared and she was like time traveling I guess? And then I also had comics about Red Hood Jason helping out Steph and like putting a blanket over her when she went to bed and no actually the weird thing that should have woken me up was that I was showing these things to actual Robin Jason from the 80s and he was not surprised that he was a comic book character he was just nodding along as a showed him.
#alright. what can my takeaways be?#and by takeaways I mean fic ideas#um fics where Bruce sends Jaybin uncover to a boarding school#fic where Jason and Dick safe each other and it’s sweet and then Bruce realizes he forgot to tell them about each other#fic where Steph goes back in time to meet Jason as a kid#…and maybe a reverse robin fic where Red Hood takes care of a young Steph#she had like stuffies and her bed had those pale see through purple drapes with the little bows on the ends#you know when kids beds sort of entrap themselves in drapery for aesthetic?#reaches from the ceiling and wraps over the edges of the bed#typically to the floor#you know what it doesn’t matter#jason todd#dick grayson#stephanie brown#jaybin#I can’t think of any other takeaways
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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