#shes accepted that she will never have the answer and is focusing on treating the symptoms and living her life with her new normal

[boycritter]

genuinely fucking sobbing at the shit my moms had to go through within the medical system

[entitled-fangirl]

A gentle wolf.

Cregan Stark x Arryn!reader

Summary: Rumors had spread of the Lord's fierceness. When the reader marries him, she fears if the rumors are true. He defends her at the ceremony, and she believes that perhaps he's just a gentle wolf.

Warnings: talks of sex, cursing, blood and death, crude comments, attempted s.a. (not from our boy), a bedding ceremony, read at your own discretion

A/n: This was based on a few different asks!

Masterlist

..................................................

Y/n's father, Lord Arryn,was a firm man. Headstrong, he fought for the best for his children.��

When Rickon Stark accepted the proposal of Y/n Arryn to his only living son, Cregan, the smile that came to her father's face was the only one she'd ever seen graze his features.

This betrothal was the highest honor her family could have received.

She had never met Cregan before, but only being eleven, there was much time before she had to worry about such things. 

…

The years had moved by quickly, a rapid approach to the girl's end to childish things. 

The rumors through the years of Cregan's growing formidable northern spirit increased tremendously. 

Perhaps some of them were true. 

He's ruthless. Heartless. More animal than human. 

She grew fearful of how her future husband would treat her.

"Perhaps he'll finally get the bratty behavior out of you," her brother mused. 

Her brother's wife, the future Lady Arryn, hit his chest, "Be gone with you. Do not frighten the poor girl."

When he had left, the woman turned to Y/n to speak, but Y/n beat her to it.

"Will it hurt as bad as they say?" She asked in a hushed tone.

She paused to answer her, careful of her word choices, "It… may not be pleasant, my lady."

She had to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. 

"But I'm sure Lord Cregan will be merciful to you."

She wanted to believe her sister-by-law. She really did. 

But even she could not believe the tense look in the woman's eyes.

…

Cregan was just as intimidating as the rumors had made him. 

Strong. Hardy. Gruff and unforgiving. Stern and harsh.

Yet his eyes always held an unfamiliar look to them, as if his next move was completely undecided to the person that stared into them.

A small smile came to his face as he held a hand out to her, "I'm sure your family wishes to rest from their long travel. I would be overjoyed to show you Winterfell if you'll allow me."

Y/n looked over to her father, who gave his stern look that he always gave. A silent warning to behave.

She took Cregan's hand with her own, trying to still the small tremor to it. Her voice was meek, "I'd like that, my lord."

"Cregan."

"Hmm?" She questioned.

"My name," he began, "It's Cregan. Please use it."

She nodded, "Very well… Cregan."

His smile grew as he studied the girl. As the two began to walk from the main hall, Cregan softly murmured to one of the servants to show her family to their chambers. 

"I do apologize that Winterfell has no lavish garden or beautiful art to view. It's rather lacking in color." He spoke lightly after a while.

She let out a soft breath, relishing in his voice finally. It was low, yes, but not the growl that she had thought it would be. 

"However," he continued. "It has formidable walls and a strong structure. Those who stand on this side of it are safer than King's Landing."

She hummed, "I don't believe the North really focuses on color and art over warmth and survival."

A chuckle escapes his throat, "Aye." His steps slow as they near one of the few balconies, "But perhaps you may breathe life into it."

She wanted to turn and question him, but the view from the balcony caught her attention. 

He made a motion with his hand, encouraging her to look out.

She took slow steps, reaching the bannister as she looked out at what Winterfell had to offer outdoors. 

What she didn't notice was what laid within the walls as well, for Lord Cregan Stark's eyes had softened tremendously as he watched the young woman. 

"I'm afraid I don't know how to be a lady," she lightly remarked as she looked over the courtyard.

He stepped forward to her, meeting her at the bannister, "It is not a matter you know, it is one you learn."

When she looked over, she finally took him in.

The man was every bit the wolf they had said. She knew that. 

But like every Stark, he was still a man. 

"I became the Lord when I was only three and ten," he said. "It was frightening. I was hardly old enough to know the sword, much less to lead such a people as the Northerners." His eyes softened again as he looked into her eyes, "It will come in time. Do not fret."

"Thank you, my lord."

He head tilted lightly, a small twinkle to his eyes.

"Oh. Cregan, I meant," she bit back a small smile at her words.

A surprising chuckle bubbled from him as he looked out over the bannister. "You're a quick learner, pretty girl."

She fought to keep the blush rising to her cheeks at bay.

She couldn't let the wolf sink his teeth into her just yet.

…

She was completely zoned out for the ceremony. She wanted to be involved and remember it, yes. But everything was just too much.

Right now, she focused on the heavy feeling of Cregan's cloak draping over her shoulders as he stated his vows to protect her under his house. 

She had already stated her part, leaving her to stare up at Cregan. She couldn't look away from how his breath could be seen in the cold chill.

Her attention reverted back when his hands cupped her cheeks and he leaned down to her, placing a heavy kiss to her lips.

Her hands gripped his wrists, thrown off at the feeling.

When he pulled away, a wide grin was pulled across his face. His forehead rested to hers. "I am yours, and you are mine," he whispered to her.

A breath escaped her lungs at his proclamation. 

Perhaps she truly was a lamb brought to appease the wolf. 

But then why was the wolf's smile so charming?

…

She sat in her seat anxiously, her entire body practically shaking.

She was supposed to sit with Cregan and enjoy the feast. 

But she couldn't stop worrying of the bedding ceremony.

To be naked in front of all these people? It made bile rise in her throat. 

"Something amiss?" Cregan asked as he leaned towards her.

She quickly shook her head, "Just nerves is all."

He nodded slowly, debating a thought. Finally, he handed her his own cup, "For the nerves."

Y/n took it gratefully, sipping the dark wine.

She barely noticed when Cregan stood and kissed the crown of her head. "I'll be back momentarily. I've a few guests to greet."

He straightened himself up, leaving the table to disappear into the crowd.

Perhaps a moment alone in her thoughts would be good-

"Excuse me, Lady Stark," a new voice mused. 

The lady paused, looking up to the voice. Across the table was a man no older than thirty, his surcoat a bright red. His smile was all teeth, and it put her on edge.

"Lord Bolton, my lady." He bowed his head before letting his eyes rake her form, "I was hoping to ask you for a dance."

"Ah," she quietly acknowledged. Her eyes began to look around for her husband. "I was led to believe that a first dance is required between a husband and his w-"

"-Lord Stark doesn't dance, my lady. Most northerners don't."

"I suppose that makes you… different." She said as she studied him.

He grinned again, "Aye. I suppose so."

With no Cregan in sight and no reason to say no despite wishing to, she nodded and began to stand, "Very well, Lord Bolton."

When she rounded the table, she took his hand, forcing a smile to her face. 

The two descended down to the floor as the small quartet began to play.

Lord Bolton's moves were careful and calculated, that much was clear. That alone seemed to describe him wholly as a person as well.

Another man rushed to Bolton, a smile on his face as he leaned to him, "Is it time yet?"

Bolton sighed mid step, "No. I will inform you when it is."

The man sulked off. Before the woman could ask, Bolton made a quick effort to spin her, distracting her from the conversation before. 

She tries to ignore the feeling of Bolton's hand on her waist. It's forced, uncomfortable. She feels controlled under his grip. 

As the song comes to an end, he makes no move to step away. "I must say, my lady, I have been most eager for this."

"Hmm?"

"The ceremony, I mean. I am quite eager for it."

"What do you mean, my lord?"

His hand reaches up to her cheek, his thumb running along her bottom lip as he stares at it, "To tear your clothes from you and watch you be throughly fucked by your lord husband."

Cregan stood with a cup of ale in his hand, his laughs loud through the hall as he joked with a friend of his. With his back turned to the high table, he had yet to notice his wife's absence from it. 

Until a voice whispered in his ear. 

His head turned, his face suddenly serious. "Repeat that?"

"The Lady… she danced with Lord Bolton."

His attention was completely lost from the previous conversation as he looked over to the busy floor. 

Sure enough, he saw Bolton with his filthy hand on her cheek, his eyes full of lust. 

When Bolton reaches up to the shoulder of her dress and tugged harshly, Cregan moved. 

A downright mob formed, eager to begin the bedding ceremony of stripping the couple and marching them to their room to consummate. But any body that moved toward Cregan was met with injury. 

He pushed and shoved bodies left and right, finally getting to Bolton.

Y/n laid on the floor, pushing Bolton's hands away, as well as others, as they pulled on what material they could. She cried out with every sound of the ripping dress. 

Fire filled the Stark, and his voice showed it. 

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER!" His voice echoed through the hall.

All the attention shot to Cregan, silence filling the room.

He forced himself to breathe. "I said," he muttered lowly, "Get. Away."

One by one, the people stepped away from the girl, creating distance. When Bolton stood, he straightened his clothes, huffing as he did so.

Y/n sat in tears as she pulled up what material she could to cover herself. Her dress was all but tatters, her shift containing large rips that only chilled her already shaking body. 

"Bolton," his voice growled out.

A shiver ran down Bolton's spine at the sound of Cregan's voice. He stepped to the man, "My lord?"

"Explain yourself before I murder you at my wedding."

"The bedding ceremony," he said as if it was obvious, "We were beginning the ceremony."

"And I told you there would be no such thing. Did I not?'

"Aye, but it is tradition," Bolton continued. 

"Aye, but I'll have your fucking head for this," Cregan mocked him.

Cregan knelt down to Y/n, helping her cover herself in what he could, as well as his own body shielding some of the stares. His voice was soft in her ear, "Are you harmed?"

She moved to speak, but her breath was all hiccups from her tears, so she shook her head instead. 

Cregan turned his head to look at the nearest servant.

"Bring me Ice."

Whispers moved across the hall immediately.

What would Lord Stark need with his longsword?

Soon, Ice was in his hand, and he stood from his wife to glare at Bolton. "I'm going to take something from you. But I'm noble enough that I'll let you choose."

Bolton's eyebrows shot up, "Take, my lord? W… What do you-"

"I was not finished," Cregan growled. He paced back and forth in front of the man. "I can take your hand, your tongue, your feet," he paused as a smirk came to his lips, "…or your cock."

"This is outrageous-"

Ice was suddenly pointed at Bolton's throat, "The next words from your mouth will be your answer or I will take your head entirely."

When silence filled the room again, Cregan turned his head barely to his servant again, "Get my cloak for my wife to cover."

When the warmness returned to the woman's shoulders, she pulled the cloak to her as much as she could, hoping it would sooth the chill and embarrassment that had settled into her bones.

"Take her to our chambers," he muttered lowly, not letting his eyes leave Bolton. "I'd hate to ruin her wedding night with the sight of blood."

…

Cregan met her a few hours later as he entered their chambers. His shoulders were still tense and his eyes still held fire, but it was better than before. "Forgive me."

She looked up from the sofa, a new, unripped shift covering her body now. "For what?" She asked softly.

Her eyes were still puffy, her nose a bright red from irritation. 

It didn't help his anger.

"I made a vow to protect you under my house and my name and I've already failed you."

"No, forgive me," she sniffled. 

His mouth opened to rebut against her, but no words came out.

"I… I did not mean to mislead Lord Bolton. I… I have sullied the Stark name. Dirtied it with… with a mere dance. I am sorry."

Cregan wanted to scoff. "What?"

"I mislead him. He-"

"Quiet," he said. "You've done nothing wrong."

"I've not angered you?" 

He took a step to her.

Her sniffles grew to hiccups, "Please don't."

His confusion grew, "What are you speaking of?"

But when he stepped to her again, she flinched away, pushing herself further down the sofa. 

"My sweet wife, please speak plainly," he tried to reason with his hands up.

"I… I can be better. Give me a chance, please."

"B…Better?" He scoffed. "You are an image of the Mother herself. I hold no anger to you."

She hiccuped again as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve, "None?"

"No. Only a creature of a man would ever be angered at his wife so. I defended you, did I not?"

Y/n considered his words. She was deep enough in thought that she didn't notice Cregan's closing steps until he was sat on the sofa next to her. 

His hand reached up to her chin, pushing her face up to look at him. "I promise. I promise to be entirely too gentle with you."

This was no wolf at all.

All of this time, she feared the Warden of the North. The wielder of Ice. The Stark Wolf. 

She hadn't considered that she had married Cregan. 

"What have you done to Lord Bolton?" She dared to ask him.

His head tilted, "Enough to help him learn better."

He may have been all of those frightening things outside of their chambers. But for her, he was only Cregan. 

He laid her down with careful movements, his touch light as he began to undress her. 

…

She was unsure what happened to Bolton that night, but rumors spread throughout the castle that the man's blood had to be cleaned from the Winterfell floors over a dozen times over to get the stain out.

................................................

Taglist: @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @callsignwidow, 8812-342, @nyxbranwenn, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest,

[aphroditelovesu]

Can you write a poly Yandere Percy x reader x Yandere Annabeth, thanks!

❝ 🌊 — lady l: I made one of these, but it was based on the Reader being the daughter of Aphrodite, this time it's more general. Anyway, I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 🧡💙

❝tw: possessive and obsessive behavior, polyamorous relationships, unhealthy relationships, mention of death and murder.

❝🦉pairing: yandere!percy jackson x gn!reader x yandere!annabeth chase.

You had recently arrived at Camp Half-Blood. You had gone a little later than the other campers but you didn't mind. You were quickly claimed by your divine parent, moved into your Cabin, and continued to live normally at the camp. Training, learning and training.

That is until you caught the attention of Percy and Annabeth. You already knew them, heard about them but never actually talked to them. Not because you didn't want to, but because you lacked the opportunity. Again, you were more concerned with gaining glory and living your life as a demigod. Too focused on yourself to notice the couple's attention on you.

They had seen you and were interested. Percy was the one who approached first, always hospitable and kind, answering any questions you might have about the camp or training. So welcoming, he assured you that everyone would be kind to you and treat you well. True to his word, you were well received.

Annabeth watched from a distance, always hidden by her cap. She was more discreet than her boyfriend, kindly offering advice you might need, like how to handle something or even help with studying. She is more than happy to teach you everything she can.

It didn't take long for them to become obsessed with you. At first, they were worried that it might affect their relationship, but that was quickly ruled out. Percy and Annabeth knew that you wouldn't be a hindrance but rather an addition.

They spent so much time by your side that you couldn't help but fall in love with them both. It wasn't what you intended, nor what you thought you would believe when you came to Camp Half-Blood, but you can't help it. They were so kind to you and protective. You were in love.

Annabeth was the one who noticed your feelings first. Always very perceptive, she didn't take long to notice. The way you seemed to be shy around them, how you blushed slightly when one of them complimented you. Really, you were adorable.

Percy only found out after Annabeth told him and he was ecstatic. They both were. You could become theirs. So, that's how they confessed to you. During one of the full moons of the camp, you were called by them to the clearing and there, where only the three of you were the witnesses, they confessed what they felt. That they were in love, that they loved you and wanted you. You, of course as passionate as they were, accepted.

The relationship worked, despite your reservations. You never thought you would be part of a throuple, but you couldn't deny that you were loving it. Percy and Annabeth were so perfect for you, so warm and passionate that you melted with every touch. You were so in love that you didn't notice the signs of their obsession.

Annabeth is extremely possessive and controlling of you. She's always warning you to stay away from the other campers and just stay with her and Percy. She hated when someone approached you and when they did, she threatened them and if the threat didn't work then Percy would deal with it.

She hates it when people touch what belongs to her and you were hers. Annabeth won't let anyone take you away from her. She is a proud daughter of Athena, there is no way in hell she would accept losing.

Percy was always very overprotective of you and Annabeth, but especially of you. Because you were new at the camp, it was his duty to protect you from all dangers. He hates it when you go on quests, as he can be dangerous and will beg to accompany you. He's quite clingy too and is almost always clinging to you.

He's more than willing to deal with the other campers for you. Be it accidents like knocking someone over with a wave to even accompanying them on quests and "accidentally letting a monster kill them." He's not against threats either.

Percy and Annabeth adore you immensely, they love spoiling and taking care of you. Annabeth loves it when you lay on her lap and listen to her read a book to you and Percy loves playing in the water with you.

Both are ruthless when you are in danger. They will kill, maim and disembowel anyone, anything that dares to lay a finger on you. It's moments like these that make them question whether you should be there. It doesn't matter if you are a child of Ares, for example, this is not your fight.

They divide you and there is no jealousy between them, considering how much they trust each other. But they enjoy having their one-on-one time with you as well as together. It helps to strengthen the bond with you. They love you so much, there is nothing they wouldn't do for you.

You were too involved in the relationship, in the manipulation, to notice the signs of what was happening around you. The deaths, the disappearances... They all seemed unimportant when you were with them. You belonged to them and they will never let you go.

[eimids]

I can cheer you up

Katie McCabe x reader

Reader doesn't get invited when all her friends are going out and she's sad about it. Katie wants to cheer her up.

Warnings: smut, squirting

"Come here" Katie said to me. She noticed I was little down since I wasn't invited to hang out with my friends who I usually hang out with. It's always been like this. My friends hang out and 'accidentally' they always forget to invite me with them. Right now they are at a bar together but I was never invited. It hurts to know I'm just a second option.

I walked to my bed where Katie was laying with her arms open. I practically fell to her arms.

"What's wrong Baby?" Katie asked. I buried my head to her neck and didn't answer. Life is hard. I don't have many actual friends. I have a big friend group but they don't actually care about me. After college we have drifted apart. They talk shit about me behind my back and they don't really accept me being bi. I have made a lot new friends through Katie but it's not the same

Luckily Katie's presence makes me feel so much better. She takes care of me. She listens to me and actually cares about what I say and think.

I feel Katie's fingers making lazy patterns on my back as she holds me tight. She then moves her hand to my hair and massage's slowly my head. Then she finally rolls to her side so she is looking at me.

"Sweetie what's wrong?" She asks again.

"Ugh. I hate my friends. Once again they didn't invite me with them. Now I get to see all what they're doing through Snapchat." I said half annoyed half sad.

"Y/n why are you even friends with them. They are toxic and you should just drop them. You deserve so much better. Baby you deserve the fucking world. You are the most caring, honest, sweetest and loving girl I know and that's why I love you. You need to know your worth and not let others treat you this way. I don't wanna see you like this Sweet" Katie said.  Every word she said was said with honesty.

'God I love this girl'

"Thank you Macca. You always make me feel better. And I love you so much" I said and put my head on her chest so I could listen her heart beat.

"l think there is a way to make you feel even better" She said in a different tone. More flirty. I knew where she was going because her hand was wondering towards my pants.

"Oh is there? What is it?" I asked in the same tone and smirked.

"Maybe I'll show you if you are up for it?" Katie said asking for consent.

"Mhmm. Show me" I moaned when Katie sucked my neck slightly.

She covered my neck in kisses and little red marks that wouldn't stay for long. Then she rolled over so she was on top of me and she started to take my shirt off. She started leaving sloppy kisses to my chest. She then took my bra off and tossed it to somewhere in my room.

"God you are beautiful" She said and it made my heart rate speed. Every time she complimented me it game me butterflies.

"I wanna see you Katie" I said and started to take her shirt off. Her boobs are so fucking perfect.

"S...Shit" I whined when she started to suck my nipple slightly. She twirled her tongue around the bud.

After focusing on my boobs for a while she continued kissing me down my stomach. Her hands on my sides. She looked at me asking for consent to take my pants off. She would never do anything I'm not comfortable with. I nodded and she slid my pants and underwear off.

She was wearing only loose shorts so when she put her face down and ass up I got a perfect view off her ass. She started teasingly sucking and kissing my thighs. She did it for a while until I couldn't stand the throbbing between my legs.

"Please Katie. Please I need more" I pleaded. I needed to feel her lips on my clit.

"Anything for you Sweet" She said and started flicking her tongue on my clit. Bringing me immediate pleasure.

"Yes...Katie, Fuck" I moaned at her actions.

She uses her mouth so sensually. It quite literally could take you to heaven. How she flicks and swirls her tongue around my clit makes my eyes roll to the back of my head.

"Keep going Katie"

And she did. So sensually lapping my juices and circling my clit with her tongue. It brought tears to my eyes, I was feeling pure extasy.

l was already close. She sucked slightly my clit and then let it go with a pop. Instead she ran her tongue through my folds and trusted it inside me. I moaned in pleasure.

"Do you know how pretty you look. I'm actually kinda glad that your friends didn't invite you because now I get to do this to you" She said and suddenly stuck two of her fingers inside me. She started also sucking my clit again.

I threw my head back in pleasure and moaned loudly. Really hoping our neighbors won't complain. My walls clenched around her fingers and she knew that i was close. But suddenly she stopped her actions.

'What the hell'

"Before you complain about anything, you wanted to feel better, right?" Katie asked. I was really confused but nodded.

"Well after some edging your orgasm will feel even better. I promise" She said and kissed me passionately.

'Fuck she knows what she's doing'

She licked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to her. Our tongues explored each others mouths. Suddenly I felt fingers at my clit again. I moaned in Katie's mouth.

She used her palm to stimulate my clit as she trusted three fingers inside me. I kept moaning to her mouth.

"Oh god...Katie please. I'm close" I said quickly between kisses.

She pulled away from my mouth and I was about to whine but then she sucked my clit. Her fingers where going an insane pace. I was on the edge of falling apart.

"God I won't be able to look this room the same. I'll be only thinking how sweet you taste and how pretty you look when I eat you out like this. And I definitely won't forget the sound that will leave your mouth in couple seconds" Katie said and then went back to assaulting my clit.

"Come for me baby. Fall apart. But don't be quiet, I wanna hear everything. I wanna hear how good I make you feel" Katie said and curled her fingers to my sweet spot.

And I came. Hard.

My legs shook around Katie's head as my mouth let animalistic sounds. I screamed Katie's name and my breathing was so rapid that my body probably thought that I was having a panic attack.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" I yelled as I felt another wave of pleasure going through me. I felt liquid coming out of me. Katie was still thrusting her fingers in and out of me. The pleasure was something I have never felt before.

"Fuck Katie... More" I said. I surprised even myself for wanting more. My body was shaking from my last orgasm. Or orgasms. I'm pretty sure I came twice.

"Are you sure?" Katie asked and furrowed her eyebrows.

"YES" I yelled already coming. Katie didn't even have to do anything. She just guided me through my third orgasm of the night.

"Good baby, just like that"

After a while she slipped her fingers out of me and cleaned them with her mouth.

"Fuck baby. That was hot" Katie said as gave a kiss to my clit.

My breathing was now under control and I tried to roll me and Katie around but she stopped me.

"No sweet. This was about you. I wanted to make you feel better" Katie said and kissed me softly. I was actually thankful because I didn't know if I had any energy to do anything.

"Thank you Katie" I said sleepily.

"Of course. But now the important question. Are you feeling any better?" She asked and chuckled. She was now laying next to me.

"Definitely" I said and curled against her body.

--

my blog was due for some Katie smut

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11

Nancy gets back with Jonathan not too long after. He barges in and makes a beeline straight for Steve. “You know where Will is?”

Steve nods. “There’s a lot to explain.”

“Then you’d better start soon.”

Robin, his savior, steps in. “C’mon, Jonny-boy, let’s go for a walk.” She leads him outside, and Steve can hear her start. “What do you know about time travel?”

He smiles and looks around. He can hear Eddie upstairs, practicing the song. The boys are occupied with planning, Nancy’s looking over Mike’s shoulder, and El’s watching him with big brown eyes. He focuses on her and lets his smile grow. “Wanna help me make dinner?”

Her eyes widen a little, but she nods. “What are we making?”

“Probably sandwiches,” he shrugs. “I’m not sure what else I have. Can you find the bread in the pantry? And there’s butter knives in that drawer over there, we’ll need two.” He winks. “One for you, and one for me.”

She does so, and he pulls out the condiments and lunch meats, as well as the jelly. “And the peanut butter, if you can find it,” he calls from where his head’s stuck in the fridge. He looks around for anything else he might need and grabs the pickles before closing the door.

“Y’know the best part about making dinner?” He asks her, impish grin growing on his face. She hums inquisitively. “We get to make ours first and eat while we make the rest.”

She giggles and accepts the high five he holds out.

They get to work assembling sandwiches. She pauses, mayonnaise slathered halfway onto a piece of bread. “Steve?” He hums. “I’m scared.”

He sighs and puts down his knife. “I am too, El. Terrified, if you can believe it. But I have faith in us. I know we can do it.” He wipes his hands off and rounds the counter, taking her hands in his. “You are the strongest person I’ve ever met in my life. Even stronger than Vecna. And this time he won’t know we’re coming. We’ll have the element of surprise on our side, and we will defeat him. We’ll find Will and Barb, and after this we’ll never have to worry about it again.” He strokes a hand over her head and sighs. “There’s something else, too. I know where Papa is.”

She pulls back, eyes wide, posture stiff. “Whoa, hey, it’s okay,” he soothes. “I’m not going to take you back there. Ever. Okay?”

She nods hesitantly, but allows him to pull her closer again. “I was going to ask if you want us to take care of him,” he murmurs. “Lock him inside and set the building on fire, or something.”

She shakes her head. “He loves me!”

“Oh, El,” Steve whispers. “I thought the same thing of my parents for a long time. No matter how mad they got, how much they yelled, how much they hurt me… they said it, so it must be true, right? They must love me. I must be the problem.” He shakes his head. “That’s not love. You fear him, El, and for good reason. He made you into what you are, but you never asked for this, and it’s okay to be angry about it.” She looks up at him with wide eyes, and he sighs. “I’ll give you some time to think about it,” he murmurs. “If the answer is still no, that’s okay. But if you change your mind, that’s okay, too.”

She nods, steps out of the hug. He lets her go, feeling like he’s almost knocked a vase off a table. His heart’s still thumping oddly, eyes wide, scared to make the wrong move.

But then she looks up at him and offers him a small smile. “Thank you,” she says. “I know the way you treat me is different from how Papa treats me. I do not know yet if they are simply different forms of love or if you are right. I think you are, but…”

“You need to see for yourself,” Steve nods. Moves the metaphorical vase back from the edge of the table. “Let me know if there’s any way I can help prove it.”

“I will,” she says, and picks up her butter knife again, spreading mustard onto a piece of bread. He goes back to his side and smiles at her.

“Steve?” She asks after a second. “When my hair grows back. What does it look like?”

He thinks for a second. “It’s fluffy,” he says. “Very soft and light. Like cotton candy.” He puts his head to one side. “Floofy,” he decides, and grins.

She giggles. “Like you!”

He opens his mouth to tell her no, she’s wrong, except… he can’t. “Yours is even more beautiful,” he tells her. “And kids in school nicknamed me ‘the Hair’. That’s how famous this was.” He tilts his head her direction, and a lock of hair falls in his face. He splutters and shakes his head, grinning when she laughs again.

“I am very glad you came back, Steve,” she says suddenly, seriously, a little at odds with the smile still quirking her lips up.

His heart breaks and mends all in the same second. It feels like absolution. “Me too,” he says, and means it.

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @andienotannie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @local-writers-corner @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

Fic Taglist: @blondlanfear @do-you-want-something-more @str4wb3rry-guy @paperbackribs @ninjapirateunicorns @bisexualdisastersworld @hiscrimsonangel @lolawonsstuff @xo-r4e @thedragonsaunt @l0st-strawberry

[twitteringthings]

Fresh Thoughts Chapter 57

After reading spoilers on twitter (no spoilers here though^^)

The way Yoneda uses bl stereotypes as a tool while also rejecting some aspects of the genre is so interesting to read. In most bl I've read, sex is seen as the epitome of love - the culmination of two characters' pining and is seen as the end goal that suddenly fixes everything. The dick and brain are one and suddenly everything magically makes sense. But in Saezuru, Yoneda uses sex to unravel the characters while twisting them up even more-so. I believe that sex has never been and will never be the answer for Doumeki or Yashiro, and I think that is what she’s getting at. That is the point of all these sexual encounters that yield no real progress. You need more than three words and some head, ding dongs!

Doumeki thinks that all he has to do is give Yashiro passionate and gentle sex to make him realize that he loves him and imo he has it all wrong. It’s almost like Doumeki doesn’t truly hear Yashiro when he speaks. There's a pause and then a kiss or a continuing of sex as we've seen. I really wish he would’ve probed even further with the questioning instead of giving into desire and kissing Y. To me, it looked like Y was ready to talk more or hear what Doumeki had to say in response to his ‘confession.’

I don’t think D realizes that this is about Y and his view of himself. It doesn’t matter if Doumeki treats him kindly and calls him beautiful. Every person in Yashiro’s life has had an agenda against him or a plan to use him for something (nana excluded). There are always, always strings attached and his heart cannot accept anyone having no intention at all, except to love him purely. I do think D is on the right track though, making Yashiro chase him in a way. Not giving anything away as to make Y either trust his intentions or distrust him, Y needs to choose for himself.

It’s so interesting how the relationship between the two of them is outwardly focused on the physical aspect (which is definitely important), but the story is about the hearts of men. Twisted and broken men. Men with baggage and secrets and deep wounds. Men who seem to be the upmost composed but in reality, the soft touch of a feather can send their entire fortress crashing down. That's what we have here.

Yashiro’s coping mechanism protects him but is also the cause of his continuous pain. Saezuru is about choosing the right pain, the pain that will numb you and have you walk through life as a ghost, or the excruciating discomfort in accepting a foreign act of kindness that you know will save you. And for Yashiro, being saved means there was something wrong done to him in the first place - which I don't think he completely realizes yet. This would mean everything he ever told himself was a lie, and that he deserved none of the cruelty. The truth that would destroy him the most if he truly chose and accepted kindness, is that he is a good person and that he deserves to love himself and to be loved. With Doumeki, this has always been Yashiro’s battle.

Vile actions accompanied by cursed words are what has held Y back all his life from the moment he was raped by his stepfather and throughout the continued abuse, even up to the most recent events post-timeskip. And I think the exact opposite is needed from both sides to finally free both of them from their mental prisons. They just need to hold out and to talk to each other for more than five minutes. I hope they'll get there soon.

Lastly, I'm sure it wasn't her intention to make such an impactful story that subverts a genre and goes against the grain - in a wonderful way. I saw something another person posted that said this story and these characters are just a result of good storytelling and great care and I could not agree more.

I haven't posted anything of actual substance in a while (stupid work is stopping me from my true passion - alas!). These are some messy thoughts; I can't wait to read the actual chapter for true understanding! I need to analyze every pen stroke, blush, and body placement. I just had to get this out of my head, now back to my essay that's due at 11:59 *sobs*

Edit 1:55 am: Still have not started essay

[coffeecat1983]

Mario Bros: Proud of You (A mini AU fic)

Set in the start of the movie-verse, what if Mario hadn't left the table right away that night, and what if when he finally did, it wasn't Luigi who checked up on him?

     "And the worst part is, you're bringin' your brother down with you." Everyone saw it. The hint of hope in Mario's eyes was snuffed out by his father's harsh words. While conversation eventually picked back up, the young man remained quiet as he ate before excusing himself from the table.

   *bleep blip*    The video game sang out the little chip tune as Kid Icarus was hit and the game ended. Sighing, Mario clicked the remote and the TV switched to the news.      'That's a big mess, Brooklyn could use some good plumbers...' The newscast made Mario cringe, and he turned it down as a soft knock was heard on the bedroom door.      "Come in." he called, expecting his mom or brother. To his surprise it was Marie who opened the door. In one hand she was carrying a plate with a few cannolis.      "Hey," she smiled gently as she entered. "I snitched these before your Uncle Tony could claim em. Thought you needed a treat."    Placing the plate on the nightstand, she took a seat beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.      "You okay? You know your uncles were just teasin'." Mario smiled faintly. "You sure about that?" he asked softly. As an answer, Marie took out her phone and tapping the screen, held it out to him.      "Go ahead, press play." Accepting the phone, he did as she instructed and a video began to play.

   Focused at first on the TV as the commercial played, it then moved to show the twins. Arthur had his arm around Tony, both beaming at the screen. From nearby Mario could hear  Marianna.      "This is so sweet."      "The sunglasses! Those goofballs went all out." Tony added.     "Yeesh, we gotta send Miz Cavetti a cake after she let the boys flood the kitchen." Arthur commented.     "Oh man Art, they used the accents we taught em!"     "No way! the toy van I gave em!" Arthur laughed.    More laughter as the commercial came to an end and the twins began cheering.      "They did great!" Tony high-fived Arthur. "Lil bro, we have GOT to tease them tonight."     "You know it. This is gonna be fun." The camera moved and the breath caught in Mario's throat as Giovanni came into view. He was shaking his head, his arms folded, but along with it was a faint smile.

   The video finished but he hit play again, his eyes never leaving the screen. As it ended, Mario's shoulders sank and he gave the phone back. Marie put it aside and placed a hand on his shoulder.      "Sweetie?"      "I don't...I don't know what I'm doing, auntie." he looked up, tears now trickling down his face. "Today was awful."    Breaking, he told her everything. Spike tossing him aside, the van breaking down again, and the disaster at their first job.      "Lu coulda been hurt and it's my fault! I screwed up. I always screw up. No wonder dad hates me."    Marie had never seen Mario look so heartbroken. She looked up as the door creaked and Arthur entered, kneeling down beside Mario. He had heard it all.      "Kid, your dad doesn't hate you. He won't admit it but he's scared." This startled Mario. "Scared?"    Leaning against the bed, Arthur sighed. "Your dad really wants you boys to have steady money. When we were growin' up, we never knew what fight would be Papa's last. Gio wanted to make sure we were taken care of, but nobody would hire a teen who wasn't even out of high school. Until he met Samus and she hired him to drive the truck."    He shifted as the memories came back. "He won't admit it but he doesn't want you boys to go through that, worrying about your next meal, or rent. Papa was out of work a few times when we were little, and it was super tight. I think that scared Gio more than anything."    Putting her arm around Mario, Marie placed a tender kiss against his head before brushing back the displaced hair.      "We're all so proud of you two."

To be continued....

[imakemywings]

As noted, I have never bought into the “Finwe and Indis condemned Miriel to eternal death” take on their situation or other views that Finwe and Indis callously fucked Miriel (and/or Feanor) over, partly because it does not, to my eye, comport to how the situation is presented, where the narrative does not place blame on any one of the three of them. The choice to remain in Mandos very much belonged to Miriel, and it was a decision she made repeatedly and without hesitation or wavering. That she might have, many years later, come to regret it does not mean Finwe and Indis were necessarily wrong to rely on the choice Miriel had repeatedly made clear. Neither is Miriel someone malleable and prone to being coerced or manipulated--she, like her son, is firm of mind and unwilling to be swayed by others. And indeed it wasn’t until after Finwe’s death that she did begin to change her mind, at which point Finwe willingly remains in Mandos so that Miriel can accept rebirth.

Even if you don’t accept History of Middle-earth as canon (and no one is required to), I think it can be very indicative of the intent behind The Silmarillion, so I have included some of those quotes below also, because Morgoth’s Ring addresses a few versions of Finwe and Miriel’s story.

“At their parting (for a little while as he thought) Finwë was sad, for it seemed an unhappy chance that the mother should depart and miss the beginning at least of the childhood days of her son.” (The Silmarillion, “Of Fëanor and the Unchaining of Melkor”)

Initially, Miriel’s time in Lorien was meant to be temporary and restorative, and Finwe treats it as such, anticipating Miriel’s eventual return. Each version of this story makes it clear that what Finwe wanted above all was not to remarry, but to be reunited with Miriel, and that he was willing to wait for her to return--but not if she persisted in having no plans to ever return.

“Then [after Míriel’s passing] Finwë lived in sorrow; and he went often to the gardens of Lorien, and sitting beneath the silver willows beside the body of his wife he called her by her names. But it was unavailing; and alone in all the Blessed Realm he was deprived of joy.” (The Silmarillion, “Of Fëanor”)

Some of the Valar speak of Finwe’s impatience, but their perspective is much different than that of the Children. Finwe does not immediately give up on Miriel; they speak of her healing in Lorien and Finwe persists in believing that she will return, even after her effective death. In “Of the Silmarils and the Darkening of Valinor--Of Finwe and Miriel” from Morgoth’s Ring, it was twelve years after Miriel’s death that Finwe first approached Manwe about remarriage--a fair chunk of Feanor’s childhood.

“Now Ingwë, hearing of the strange grief of Finwë, and desiring to lift up his heart and withdraw him from vain mourning in Lorien, had sent messages bidding him to leave Túna for a while, and to come and dwell for a season in the full light of the Trees. Finwë thanked him but did not go, while there was yet hope that Míriel would return.” (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of the Silmarils and the Darkening of Valinor--Of Finwë and Míriel”)

It really isn’t until after the passing of the Statute of Finwe and Miriel, when Miriel commits to remaining in Mandos, that Finwe surrenders the hope that she will return and they will be together again.

Even after the statute is passed and Manwe gives Finwe permission to consider remarriage, Finwe still expresses a preference for Miriel’s return rather than remarriage:

“Finwe answered: ‘I am in no haste, My Lord, and my heart has no desire, save the hope that when this doom is made clear to Míriel, she may yet relent and set a term to my bereavement.’“ (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of Finwë and Míriel”)

Certainly you can argue he is focused here on his own feelings--but generously I would suggest it’s not entirely fair to give Miriel the power to choose not return to life but also to prevent her husband from ever moving on. Finwe is and has been willing to wait for Miriel--what appears to frustrate him is that he sees no sign Miriel will ever change her mind and therefore that he will be expected to dwell forever in perpetual grief. Which is, you know. Not great for anyone.

Vaire relays this sentiment to Miriel, who insists she cannot be healed within Arda, and Vaire reports to Namo on her mindset:

“Then Vairë said to Mandos: ‘The spirit of Míriel hath dwelt with me, and I know it. It is small, but it is strong and obdurate: one of those who having said this will I do make their words a law irrevocable unto themselves. Unless constrained, she will not return to life or to Finwë, though he should wait until the ageing of the world.’“ (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of Finwë and Míriel”)

Further confirmation that Miriel’s mind cannot be swayed by counsel (hmm that sound familiar...). Having made her decision, she means to stick with it, no matter how long Finwe waits for her. Asking Finwe--the only widower in Aman--to simply accept never having a partner again is also a heavy price to pay, and for a decision that wasn’t his.

“‘Therefore the one that is in the keeping of Mandos shall remain there until the end of Arda, and shall not awake again or take bodily form. For none among the Quendi shall have two spouses at one time alive and awake...this disunion shall come to pass only with the consent of both. And after the giving of the consent ten years of the Valar shall pass ere Mandos confirms it. Within that time either party may revoke this consent...’

It is said that Míriel answered Mandos saying: ‘I came hither to escape from the body, and I do not desire ever to return to it.’ (Morgoth’s Ring, “The Earliest Version of the Story of Finwë and Míriel”)

This earliest version of the story presents one where Miriel had a decade at minimum to choose to revoke her decision to remain in Mandos and that she herself could have put the nix on the possibility of Finwe’s remarriage, but chose not to do so. In later drafts of the story, the time required to pass before consent is accepted is increased to twelve years. (If you combine this with the twelve years Finwe waits to even approach Manwe about remarriage, this is a total of at least twenty-four years between Miriel’s death and even the possibility of Finwe’s remarriage. Add to this the three years that certain drafts place between this and his marriage with Indis for a potential total of twenty-seven years between Miriel’s death and Finwe’s remarriage.)

Here, Miriel is expressly, clearly, directly informed that she may choose to remain in Mandos, but that if she permits Finwe’s remarriage and he takes it, she will lose the ability to choose rebirth. Still, Miriel sticks with her original decision. With informed consent, Miriel makes her choice. Unless we are meant to assume she doesn’t know what she wants, it’s hard to take this as anything but confirmation that Miriel is sure she will never want to return to life. It seems unfair to condemn Finwe and Indis for taking her at her word, even if she eventually comes to regret her choice. (This is the price of the freedom of choice--you may make a choice you regret.)

“But the shadow of Míriel did not depart from the house of Finwë, nor from his [Finwë’s] heart; and of all whom he loved Fëanor had ever the chief share of his thought.” (The Silmarillion, “Of Feanor”)

Even after his wedding to Indis, Finwe does not forget his love for Miriel, and he certainly doesn’t show favoritism to the children of Indis--rather, he seems particularly concerned that Feanor should know he is loved despite his father’s remarriage. That Feanor refuses to accept this cannot, I think, be laid wholly at the feet of Finwe, particularly into Feanor’s adulthood. We can certainly say that Finwe failed to adequately reassure Feanor--but the text leaves that open as to fault and degrees of fault, and it may be there was nothing Finwe could ever have said that would have consoled Feanor, or it may be that they were both simply very different people and Finwe never managed to get through to Feanor, or it may be that Finwe did not try hard enough to make Feanor feel differently. But I also don’t consider it fair that Feanor’s disapproval should mean Indis and Finwe, two consenting adults, are prohibited from marrying.

That Finwe chooses to go into exile with Feanor and effectively surrenders his crown over it says quite a lot about his affection for Feanor and his willingness to publicly take Feanor’s side. This does not read like a case of Feanor being shunted aside by his father’s remarriage.

“In that evil time Finwë was slain by the Marrer himself, and his body was burned as by lightning stroke and destroyed. Then Míriel and Finwë met again in Mandos and lo! Míriel was glad of the meeting, and her sadness was lightened, and the will in which she had been set was released.

“And when she learned of Finwë all that had befallen since her departure (for she had given no heed to it, nor asked tidings, until then) she was greatly moved; and she said to Finwë in her thought: ‘I erred in leaving thee and our son, or at least in not soon returning after brief repose; for had I done so he might have grown wiser. But the children of Indis shall redress his errors and therefore I am glad they should have being, and Indis hath my love. How should I bear grudge against one who received what I rejected and cherish what I abandoned.’“ (Morgoth’s Ring, “Laws and Customs Among the Eldar”) (emphasis added)

In this earlier draft of the story from HoME, Miriel explicitly approves post-hoc of the marriage, praising the children of Indis and foreseeing they might fix Feanor’s wrongs, and disavowing that she might have any bitterness towards Indis for marrying Finwe. This, I think, is also deeply indicative of how we are meant to view this situation: Miriel herself does not resent Indis. Miriel herself does not think Indis did anything wrong--nor does she seem to believe either Finwe or Indis wronged Feanor. This goes to the point that just because Feanor was angry and upset about his father’s remarriage doesn’t, in and of itself, mean Finwe was wrong to remarry.

Immediately after this, Miriel expresses a desire again for life, and so Finwe entreats Vaire to release Miriel from Mandos:

“And Finwë said to Vairë: ‘Dost thou hear the prayer and desire of Míriel? Why will Mandos refuse this redress of her griefs, that her being may not be void and without avail? Behold! I instead will abide with Mandos for ever, and so make amends.’“ (Morgoth’s Ring, “Laws and Customs Among the Eldar”) (emphasis added)

Both Finwe and Miriel appear here to have regrets about what happened. Unfortunately, regrets are part of life and not necessarily indicative that something wrong was done. But Finwe now voluntarily remains behind in Mandos that Miriel might again have life, now that she has expressed a shift in her view on the matter. Not really the behavior of someone with no concern about Miriel’s happiness or well-being. Nor does he throw himself on the sword suggesting he was wrong to remarry, which would’ve called for some apology to Miriel. Again, I think this is just an overall difficult, tragic situation out of which there was no easy, painless path.

Nor is it suggested that Indis was seeking to horn in on the marriage between Finwe and Miriel.

“She [Indis] loved Finwë dearly; for her heart had turned to him long before, while the Vanyar still dwelt with the Noldor in Túna. In those days, she had looked upon the Lord of the Noldor, and he seemed to her the fairest and noblest of the Eldar...Therefore she remained unwedded when her people removed to Valinor, and she walks often alone in the friths and fields of Valinor, filling them with music.” (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of Finwë and Míriel”)

Yes, Indis loved Finwe even while Miriel was still alive--but no version of the story suggests she tried to slide in when Miriel had died, or tried to disturb their marriage before. In fact, the way she catches Finwe’s attention is entirely accidental.

“...when Indis saw Finwë climbing the paths of the Mountain, and the light of Laurelin was behind him as a glory, without forethought she sang suddenly in great joy, and her voice went up as a song of the lirulin in the sky. Then Finwë heard that song falling from above, and he looked up and saw Indis in the golden light, and he knew in that moment that she loved him and had long done so.” (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of Finwë and Míriel”)

The presentation of Indis has never been, in my view, of a gold-digger or someone who was looking to take advantage of Miriel’s death or absence. Between The Silmarillion and HoME, Indis seems presented more as one who, knowing Miriel desired never to return to life, saw that she and Finwe might find some joy out of his grief. She could not have foreseen that Feanor would take their marraige so poorly, or that he would never forgive it, or the extremes to which he was willing to go to show that, post-Melkor’s release.

As noted in quotes below, even the Valar recognized that Indis had loved Finwe “in patience, and without bitterness,” which is not a descriptor, to me, of someone trying to take personal advantage of the situation. She isn’t at fault for loving Finwe, and she isn’t at fault for his choosing to remarry, or for Miriel’s choosing to die. Honestly of everyone involved here, I think Indis has the least culpability. All she did was marry someone she loved, with the consent of his late wife.

“The wedding of his father was not pleasing to Fëanor; and he had no great love for Indis, nor for Fingolfin and Finarfin, her sons...In those unhappy things which later came to pass, and in which Fëanor was the leader, many saw the effect of this breach within the house of Finwë, judging that if Finwë had endured his loss and been content with the fathering of his mighty son, the courses of Fëanor might have been otherwise...But the children of Indis were great and glorious, and their children also; and if they had not lived the history of the Eldar would have been diminished.” (The Silmarillion, “Of Fëanor”) (emphasis added)

The end of this section is one I think is crucial to remember for the narrative: Tolkien explicitly eschews the idea that everything would’ve simply been better if Finwe and Indis had never married and never had kids. Yes, grief came out of the situation, but joy and greatness came from it too, and erasing Fingolfin, Finarfin, Lalwen, Findis, Fingon, Aredhel, Turgon, Argon, Finrod, Aegnor, Angrod, and Galadriel, and their descendants from the story and the history of the Elves would be a lessening.

This is a sentiment that existed from very early drafts:

“‘Behold! Indis the fair shall be made glad and fruitful, who might have else been solitary....Long hath she loved Finwë, in patience and without bitterness. Aulë named Fëanor the greatest of the Eldar, and in potency that is true. But I say unto you that the children of Indis shall also be great, and the Tale of Arda more glorious because of their coming. And from them shall spring things so fair that no tears shall dim their beauty; in whose being the Valar, and the Kindreds of both of Elves and of Men that are to come shall all have part, and in whose deeds they shall rejoice...When he that shall be called Eärendil setteth foot upon the shores of Aman, ye shall remember my words.’“ (Namo addresses the Valar, Morgoth’s Ring, “Laws and Customs Among the Eldar”) (emphasis added)

Attached to The Earliest Draft of the Story of Finwe and Miriel is this Laws and Customs Among the Eldar wherein the Valar debate whether or not to permit Finwe’s remarriage and whether any of the three Elves involved here is at fault for the situation. During this debate, Namo Mandos gives this proclamation about the greatness of the children of Indis and the impact they will have on the future of Arda, even to anticipating the arrival of Earendil in Aman.

Narratively, Tolkien thus emphasizes that great good comes from the marriage of Finwe and Indis, in spite of Feanor’s response to it which causes much grief for the Elves. If the purpose of the story was to feel that they had acted in pure selfishness and that their marriage was some turning point where the tragedies of the Elves could have been entirely averted, I don’t think he would have taken so much care to make it clear what beneficial things came out of it.

All of which is to say I stand by my original assessment that none of these people was wholly at fault for what happened. Unfortunately we are all of us swayed by our emotions and there are times when there is simply no easy way out of a sticky situation. As in the original post--there was no way to fix this without someone being deeply unhappy. The marriage of Finwe and Indis, particularly as approved by Miriel, probably seemed at the time like the most painless way to handle it, particularly as the strong love of Finwe for Feanor would likely negate Feanor’s being usurped by any children of Indis. Certainly you can choose to read malicious motives into any of the four characters chiefly involved here--but I don’t think it’s the most accurate reading of the text. At worst, I think they could be viewed as careless or blinkered, but I don’t think any of them was ill-intentioned.

[http-finnick]

𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

finnick odiar x fem!reader

part 2 of favors

summary: as the train takes you both home, you rest your head on your hand to dive into thought about who you are with finnick odair.

request: many times <3

your hand glided effortlessly on the smooth skin of your face, resting it there to lean on the table of the train. your eyes focusing on him, no matter what. with every bump trying to stir your attention away from the man as he sat across from you with his eyes avoiding yours

he's watching the greenery while you're watching him.

you lean more into your hand, smelling your pure orange body wash that was just like the fruit.

you love oranges

how you could peel at it, peel at it, taking more and more until it's gone and useless. used up and empty.

that's what he's doing to you.

sure, you could make an analogy on how the capitol is doing the same thing, but you never gave yourself to the capitol, you gave yourself to finnick.

you let him take each piece, again and again, just to see what would happen.

does he actually love you? is this his post-games mind clouding over sensible thoughts? he can't just decide he loves you.

this must be so simple for him.

either he knows and accepts he loves you, which he'll tell, oh, he'd definitely tell you.

or he's on the fence...why?

you almost want to push him off it, just to see what he'd do, most importantly, what you'd do.

you're not treating him like a pet. you're treating yourself like a pet. toying yourself around while you know the answer all along

but are you willing to say that answer?

"finnick"

will you break hearts, put each other in danger, ruin lives, and live a happily ever after?

"hm?"

"I don't wanna leave this train."

not yet. but with the smile that creeps on his face. he knows what that means. with how you two have been acting this entire tour he knows that you don't wanna stay for the food, for the fun. but for him. just for him

and that's all he can get to know, for now.

an: hi guys! I'm sorry for leaving you guys all week, I've been super busy! but, here's part 2! I know it's short and complicated, I sometimes resent writing characters' deep dives into the "do I love him?" because I end up hating y/n for it, but that's just me not being a good writer lmao. so this time I didn't insert myself and tried to focus on y/n's feelings instead of my own. I wanted this to be like if katniss found out on the tour that she did in fact love peeta but kept it hidden. I hope that all makes sense.

now! I want to scream a thank you to each and every one of you! because we hit 100 followers! I can't believe that so many people like my work and I'm grateful to all of you. I still am so excited that all of you still like thg and want to see more! I love you guys so much <3

[ninyard]

The Scriptures aka towning according to nin. (subject to change)

can’t do this without acknowledging the descriptions of them by @rekikiri which are just perfect plus some more stuff on them here and this wonderful background by @tara-the-star

(I owe everyone like a million socmed posts just for putting up with my shit re: this. enjoy!)

austin michael browning

- southern boy. has a soft southern accent. i was thinking something like southern georgia, but his parents have a stronger accent than he does. he didn't want to be known as the sweet darlin' southern boy when he moved to virginia for his FBI training, so he tried his best to speak a bit more neutral

- it didn't last long

- 6’2, soft brown hair, beautiful brown eyes. he’s covered in freckles and has the most gorgeous warm skin with some terrible tan lines. when he tans, he tans.

- he’s quite built but you can only tell when he takes off his suit jacket or he’s wearing just a shirt/t-shirt. if he could’ve gotten an a+ on the fbi fitness test he would’ve. he’s incredibly strong and goes to the gym most mornings (at like 6am. he’s a real early bird)

- has a bachelors degree in law/criminal justice

- was a detective for two years in georgia until he went to quantico. worked on criminal intelligence cases, but occasionally worked on juvenile crime cases. he had one particularly difficult case involving both departments (organised crime involving a minor) which inspired him to work for the FBI.

- has four siblings. he's the middle child with two older sisters and two younger sisters.

- he’s a somalier without being a somalier. literally knows anything and everything about wine. always has the right bottle of wine for any occasion or meal. recommending wines and opening his favourite wines is his love language.

- his family live by strict traditional values - two of his sisters were married by the time they were 22, and the other two followed suit at 21 and 23. he has a couple of nieces and nephews that he doesn’t get to see too often but he’s their fun uncle. he had a lot of pressure to find a nice girl and settle down, and always brushed off the girlfriend question (he even made up a fake girlfriend when he was in college, just to get his parents off his back) ((they didn’t “date” for very long))

- his dad worked on a farm his whole life and his momma has always been a housewife. his sisters were the only ones his mom taught to cook and clean. he had to teach himself a lot of life skills in college. he still occasionally ruins his clothes by washing them wrong but he’s learned to get his work suits dry cleaned. it’s much cheaper to do that than have to get new ones when he inevitably shrinks them.

- his mom never teaches him how to cook/bake, but she gives him a handwritten book of recipes when he moves to maryland for work. it sits on a shelf in the kitchen of his apartment but he’s never used it

- (until towns visits his apartment for the first time and tells him that he has to make him some of his ‘momma’s recipes’ someday. browning falls in love, naturally, and tries a couple dishes and treats)

- he didn’t really know or acknowledge that he was gay until he was in college. he’d had a few “girlfriends” here and there in highschool but he always felt like he was forcing himself into liking them. he kissed a boy for the first time when he was 19, and everything made sense for him, but even still he buried it down quite deep and focused on his studies instead of relationships.

- his family are not accepting at all. He grew up around a lot of homophobia and slurs and disrespect of lgbt+ people, and so that made it really hard for him to come to terms with his sexuality. he started to distance himself from them when he went to college, and the weekly phone calls with his mom turned to once a fortnight, into once or twice a month, into whenever she eventually didn’t take no for an answer and kept calling until he picked up.

- the only person who knew that he was gay was his oldest sister, who he came out to when he was in the third year of his degree. she was honest and told him that their mom and dad wouldn’t be supportive of him, but she wasn’t going to tell them either.

- she always changed the topic when the “girlfriend” conversation came up when he would go home for thanksgiving or Christmas or some other occasion. he appreciated that a lot

- started smoking cigarettes in college and struggled to give it up. he barely smokes anymore but every now and again on a tough case he finds himself reaching for a packet of cigarettes (towns hates it)

samuel arthur towns

- new york new yooorkkk. he was born somewhere in new york that i haven't figured out yet.

- 5’11, mixed with a white dad and a black mom. he wears glasses. he’s not as big or strong as austin is, but he’s in really good shape. he has gorgeous dark brown eyes and spends way too much time on his hair.

- has a tattoo on his thigh.

- he’s an only child to his absolutely amazing mother and father. they’re SO supportive of him and have always trusted him to make good choices in life - he tells his mom everything. he calls her almost every other day and visits home as often as possible.

- has a double bachelors degree in psychology and law from Columbia

- was a backliner on his high school exy team but never had any intentions of becoming an athlete/going pro. he was a TOTAL jock back then

- when he graduated college he pretty quickly knew he wanted to do something good that wasn’t necessarily becoming a cop. he waited until he turned 23 and on the day he finished his two years of working in an attorney’s office, he applied for a job with the fbi

- came out as gay pretty young. his parents have always been fairly liberal (his mom was a hippie back in the day) so he came out as a teenager and they’ve always been cool with it

- right when he was in the middle of his FBI training in quantico, he was dumped by the man he’d been dating for like two years. he had to put it to the back of his mind to focus on the academy, but it was one of the things that made him and austin first start speaking

- he’s kept journals since he was a kid. he has a full shelf of journals and sketchbooks from the age he was 10 or 11 until the present. he always carries a little black notebook with him and writes down his thoughts and little sketches. (its full of doodles of browning)

- his parents also have books and boxes full of photos of him from birth. it’s like an INSANE number of photos. their attic is just full of boxes and boxes of pictures. (austin’s favourite is one they have on the wall in the living room of sammy as a teenager in his exy gear)

- in turn he’s really into photography too and always takes photos. he shoots on film, so he has loads of boxes full of photos too. his dream is to have a dark room in his home.

- his mom really is his best friend. she’s his biggest fan, and the reason he studied psychology. she’s a holistic therapist, and gives the BEST advice. his dad is a food critic.

- when he was younger a friend of his was killed after because he became involved with the wrong people and ended up in a gang. it totally changed a lot for him, and seeing the way the case was handled really inspired him to get into law/want to go into the fbi. he saw all these young black boys from underfunded and underprivileged backgrounds finding themselves caught up in gangs and when things would happen to them - it was clear the effort to stop the feuds and the violence was not as important as if a young white man had been killed, or indoctrinated because he had no choice.

- his mom was worried when he told her that he’d applied to be in the fbi. they had a very long conversation about the realities of what he would see working with the fbi, why he wanted to do it, what it would mean for his future, and the things he couldn’t do. he knew all of it already, having researched it all as soon as he realised it was the career path he wanted to go down, but she really wanted to be sure he knew what he was getting himself into. it scared him, for a little bit, but he knew it was the right choice for him.

- he has a license, but doesn’t drive that much. he didn’t really need to drive much living in new york, and 90% of the time, in maryland, austin drives him around.

- he’s partially deaf in one ear from a crash that happened during a car chase a few years into working with the fbi.

- the hardest part about working where he does was learning how to shoot a gun. he hates it. like he’s good at it and smart with it but he hates having a gun. the first time he shot a real person he held it together until he got home later and was practically in shock. (he wasn’t sure if telling his mom broke confidentiality or not, so because he was on the case with austin, he invited him over and he ended up staying the night just to keep him company)

- austin and sam only lived in seperate apartments for about six months when they moved to maryland until they decided to move in together. austin was already renting a two bedroom apartment, whereas sam was in a studio, and it just made more financial sense for them to move in together. ("financial")

- he started crushing on austin so early on in their friendship, but he had no idea that austin was pretty much the same.

- austin and sam met when they both started their training in quantico together. they were roommates at the academy but didn’t really interact too much. they only really started talking after one of the first weekends they were allowed to leave the campus - towns went home to visit his boyfriend on the Friday and came back trying to hide the fact he was a wreck on Sunday. he tried not to talk about it, because they’re judging their emotional maturity in the academy, but when browning asked if he was okay, he spilled a little too much.

- even after that, they weren’t really friends. they talked, of course, about their classes and the academy itself, but that was mostly it. towns didn’t know browning was gay, because he never mentioned it, even when towns told him he was gay. most evenings austin would sit at his desk with headphones on while studying, and sammy wouldn’t usually interrupt.

- then one time when they’re both at the gym at the same time, austin notices sam working out, and his form isn’t quite right for the work out he’s doing. austin corrects him after telling him he’ll hurt himself working out the way that he is, and he helps him through a couple of other sets that he does himself. they go to the gym together most days after that, spotting each other when they’re doing weights. they start running in the mornings, too.

- during the course of training there’s a couple of occasions where students at the academy are expected to wear business attire. they’re both getting dressed up in their suits, and austin is kind of embarrassed because he doesn’t really know how to properly tie a tie. his dad usually tied them for him, and for some reason even though he swore he knew how to do it, he’s just really struggling. sam offers to help and austin ends up talking a little bit about his family, but not giving away anything about how shitty they really are.

- one of the weekends they’re allowed off campus, later on at their time in training, towns asks browning if he wants to go out for dinner and a drink. it’s not a date, and neither of them think it is, but neither of them were going home for the weekend and they both wanted to do something. austin ends up picking a restaurant based off their wine list, and they talk about their lives outside of quantico for a little bit. they can’t exactly go out and get drunk - or they’re both afraid to do so in case they get kicked out of the academy - but they sit and talk and share a bottle of wine.

- they get closer, and when they graduate, towns’ mom and dad show up, and browning’s family doesn’t. they take pictures together (one of towns’ favourite photos ever) and sam introduces austin to his mom and dad. they’re going out for a celebratory meal, and sam’s dad invites austin along so he’s not celebrating by himself. he refuses, but when they insist, he comes along.

- oh and it’s SUCH a nice evening. he fills any rare awkward silence by explaining his wine choice to sammy’s dad, while sam’s mom nudges her son and raises her eyebrows like oh, he’s cute.

- they exchange phone numbers before they both head home to wait for their offers.

- (austin spent most of those 18 weeks smiling because of how close him and sam got. sam spent about half of that time thinking damn. am I falling for another straight guy?)

- austin calls sam first the day they find out where they’re being stationed. they tell each other on 3 that they’ve both been stationed in maryland and oh my god. Austin didn’t even know he was going to feel so relieved but he’s like holy shit. I didn’t even realise i was secretly really hoping that we were going to work together.

(there’s more but. I have to stop myself. The brain rot is setting in deeper and deeper)

[drvirgus]

The Idol who cant Smile

Minji X Fem! Reader

Description: You are the oldest Member of New Jeans, but Fans Never saw you Smile once. Why don't you Smile? Who's the Person that can bring back a smile to your Face?

Chapter 7:

Tiredly, I yawned. Almost immediately, everyone looked at me. As usual, Haerin was staring at me intensely, which made me chuckle in amusement. I tilted my head to the side as I gazed back at her, meeting her eyes. I didn't even realize I had started to smile.

"What's up, Haerin? Why are you looking at me like that again?" I asked, and Haerin moved closer. I could hear Hyein and Hanni playfully gasping for air. But I was focused on Haerin. She studied my entire face, "You're tired. Why?" she asked, making me feel a bit nervous.

I heard Minji returning from the bathroom to the living room. She noticed that Haerin and I were staring at each other and furrowed her brow. However, she didn't say anything about it and simply sat down beside me. Haerin now turned her gaze to Minji. She hummed a bit, "Minji, so you came a day early so Unnie wouldn't be alone? That's so sweet. What did you guys do?" Hanni asked, looking at Minji, then at me.

I noticed Minji smiling. My breath caught, "We had dinner and then watched a K-drama," I answered as quickly as possible, trying to prevent Minji from revealing anything. No one should know about this relationship. No one... not even Newjeans... It would just complicate everything, and if we were to have an argument, the members would have to take sides, and well... I just don't want that.

Minji looked at me. I could feel her intently studying my profile, "What K-drama?" Hyein asked, sticking a spring roll into her mouth. Hanni had her chopsticks ready for the next spring roll. I looked at Hyein, "King the Land," I replied, and almost immediately, the younger one slapped her chopsticks on the table.

"Unnie... We said we'd watch it together!" the younger one protested and looked at me. She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. Nervously, I chuckled and folded my hands together, "I'm sorry. I'll treat you to a meal for that, deal?" I asked, and the younger one sighed, accepting the offer and continuing her meal.

I felt Minji's hand on my knee. Nervously, a smile formed on my lips, and I moved Minji's hand away from my knee. The younger one sighed. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she leaned closer to me, "Relax... just act normal, Unnie," the younger one said, but my eyes widened as I felt her breath near my ear. Shortly after, I felt her lips grazing my ear.

I could feel the blush creeping up on my face. My heartbeat quickened. I lightly hit the younger one's leg in response, which only made her laugh. She looked at me, "You know... it's nice to see you smile," she said, almost whispering. Her face was right in front of mine. I swallowed nervously as I felt the urge to kiss her again.

I turned my head away from her, "I'm going to the garden," I said and immediately, Danielle looked at me. She blinked a few times, "Aren't you hungry?" she asked, gesturing to the food. I shook my head, heading to the garden shortly after. There, I lay down on the lounger almost immediately. Luckily, the sun was still shining. I sighed, closing my eyes.

My hands were under my head as I simply felt the sun on my skin. I wasn't wearing any makeup and just enjoyed the free time in the sun.

It didn't take long until I realized someone had sat down on me. Their head blocked the sun, "Minji-ah, you're blocking the sun," I said, a small smile on my face, and almost immediately, I heard someone softly laugh. Curiously, I opened my eyes. Instantly, my eyes widened.

An unfamiliar girl sat on top of me. She also had her phone in hand and seemed to be recording a video. I relaxed again and looked at the girl sitting on me. Probably around my age?

"Could you get off me?" I asked, and she complied with my request. Slowly and somewhat reluctantly, I sat up. I ran my hand through my hair and let out a sigh. I looked at the unfamiliar woman, my expression slightly annoyed, "How did you get in here?" I asked, tilting my head slightly. How had she managed to bypass security?

"Oh my God. Can I get a photo, a video? An autograph?" she asked, really excited. My eyes narrowed a bit. She didn't answer my question. I hesitated as my eyes continued to study the woman in front of me. Did she have any weapon on her? I stood up from the lounger, "How about I escort you to the exit?" I suggested, and the woman squealed loudly in delight. She practically jumped with happiness.

I gestured for her to lead the way with my hand. Walking casually, I went beside the unfamiliar woman. "Why did you think I was Minji when I was sitting on you?" she asked. Her curious brown eyes sparkled with interest. I hesitated a bit in my response, "The members love to tease me. Sometimes, they even fall asleep on me," I answered, but the woman beside me didn't seem satisfied with the answer.

"But why were you so sure it was Minji?" she asked again. She held her phone right in front of my face. I sighed a bit, "Because the others are all eating," I replied. Suddenly, the woman stopped walking as she spotted one of the security guards. Panic widened her eyes.

"You liar! You said we were going for a walk!" she exclaimed a bit louder. I looked at the woman beside me. Slowly, she was really getting on my nerves. My eyes briefly glanced at her phone's camera and then back at her face, "How old are you?" I asked, and the woman seemed to relax.

"26," she answered, and I nodded understandingly. I sighed once again, "Unnie," I began, my eyes narrowing a bit because this whole situation was getting pretty annoying, "If I see you near my members, you'll really get to know me. I'll forget that all of this happened and that you committed a crime. But I kindly ask you not to attend any Newjeans events," I said as politely as possible.

The older woman gasped in shock. Her eyes widened, "H-How can you talk to me like that?! The video will be online, and everyone will see your true face! A liar," she exclaimed loudly. Her hand gripped my wrist, and she was really hurting me. I hissed in pain.

My eyes narrowed even further, "Thank you for being a fan. As I said, if I see you anywhere near one of my members, this will end very differently. Have a good day," I said as I finally managed to free myself from the stranger. The security guard had finally arrived.

He held the woman firmly and looked at me with evident concern. "Please take down her information," I requested from the man and bowed slightly. The man was speechless and perhaps a bit surprised by how calmly I was handling the situation. He nodded and led the unfamiliar woman away from me.

I sighed. My heart was still pounding wildly in my chest... I was really scared... But the thought that it happened to me and not the others calmed me down somewhat. I sighed again and took out my phone from my pocket. I immediately dialed our CEO's number. Sighing, I looked around.

I just hoped that this video wouldn't be released...

I heard the older woman finally pick up the phone. Immediately, I recounted the whole situation to her and asked her for a change of residence or increased security. However, she kept asking if I was okay. After a brief while, I confirmed that I was fine. I nodded as she said she would take care of it. But I also asked her to keep it a secret from the others. They shouldn't be afraid.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why do we have to move?" Hyein asked grumpily as she placed one of her boxes in the hallway. She was currently labeling her box. Hanni joined in the grumbling. Minji, however, clapped her hands once, "Look at it positively. We can rearrange our rooms and even change the room assignments," Minji said. Hanni immediately looked at her.

"You... don't want to be in the same room with me anymore? Whyyyy? What did I do?" she asked, crawling toward Minji's leg and grasping it. She tugged at Minji's pants leg, causing Minji to almost lose her balance. Haerin, Hyein, and I simply watched.

"I want to be in the same room as Unnie," Hyein suddenly chimed in, raising her hand. I looked at the youngest and smiled, gently running my hand through her hair, "Unnie has been smiling a lot more lately... Did something happen?" Haerin asked, looking at me intently for a while. My smile disappeared from my face immediately. Surprised, I stared at the younger girl for a while.

"What the hell is this?!" Danielle exclaimed, storming into the hallway. She looked at each of us before her eyes settled on me. She held her phone in her hand and started reading aloud. My heart rate accelerated. What on earth had gotten her so flustered?

"Security Incident Shakes K-Pop Fandom: Unauthorized Entry Sparks Concerns for Newjeans' Safety", she began

"A recent incident involving K-Pop idol Y/n of the sensational group Newjeans has showcased her remarkable composure and protective instincts in the face of adversity. As an unidentified individual managed to breach security measures, Y/n's poised response not only defused the situation but also served as a testament to her role as the guardian of her group.

The incident occurred when Y/n was spending time in the dormitory garden. An intruder, identified as a 26-year-old female fan, infiltrated the secure area and approached Y/n while capturing video footage. Despite the alarming nature of the situation, Y/n remained calm and managed to defuse the encounter without any major conflict, while prioritizing the safety of her fellow members.

Y/n's response involved addressing the unauthorized individual directly, cautioning the fan against approaching idols without permission and emphasizing the need to respect their personal boundaries. This protective approach not only demonstrated her maturity but also illustrated her strong sense of responsibility as the Unnie of NewJeans.

K-Netizens have taken to social media to shower Y/n with praise for her admirable handling of the incident. Fans have aptly dubbed her the "Unnie" (older sister) of Newjeans, highlighting her pivotal role as a guiding figure within the group. Many admirers have hailed her for putting the safety of her fellow members before her own, lauding her selflessness and quick thinking.

The incident has led to an outpouring of fan art, hashtags, and messages that collectively emphasize Y/n's newfound title as the "guardian" or "protector" of Newjeans. These designations encapsulate the immense respect and adoration fans hold for Y/n, who has not only showcased her strength in the face of adversity but has also embodied the unity and bond that the K-Pop community shares.

In response to the incident, Y/n's agency promptly addressed the security concerns and vowed to implement enhanced measures to safeguard idols from unauthorized interactions. The agency's commitment to ensuring the well-being of its artists resonated deeply with fans, further fostering a sense of unity and trust.

The incident serves as a reminder that even in the glamorous world of K-Pop, challenges and unexpected situations can arise. Y/n's handling of the unauthorized entry incident has demonstrated that beyond their stage personas, idols possess a genuine concern for their well-being and the well-being of their fellow members.

As the K-Pop industry continues to evolve, idols like Y/n set a remarkable example for others to follow. Her poised response, protective instincts, and unwavering dedication have solidified her role as a respected figure in the K-Pop world. Y/n's actions not only protected her group but have also become a source of inspiration and admiration for fans worldwide, proving that even amidst challenges, the K-Pop community remains united and supportive"

"Is that why we are moving out then?" Danielle asked after she finished reading the entire article. Her eyes were fixed on me. I let out a sigh as I ran my hand through my hair. Minji was immediately by my side, her hands on my upper arms as her eyes narrowed. "When was this?! Did she hurt you?" Minji asked, visibly concerned, her eyes scanning my entire body.

"It's alright. Nothing happened," I replied, but none of the others were satisfied. Even Haerin was now looking at me annoyed. However, Hanni seemed almost ready to burst. "Okay, I can't take it anymore!" she said, or rather, shouted. Her eyes were fixed on me.

"We're not just idols in a group. The six of us are a family, Unnie! So stop distancing yourself more and more from us! Cry if you want to cry. Laugh if you want to laugh. But don't hold back. I get that you're the oldest and that means you have to be more mature and blah blah blah. Bullshit! Be yourself... We love you no matter what... So please. Please don't put yourself in danger, Unnie. Not because of us," Hanni said, and I noticed her voice breaking. My eyes widened as I saw her tears.

My mouth opened. It was the first time... that someone told me I could let my feelings flow freely. All I ever heard was my father's voice in my head screaming that I shouldn't laugh or cry. That I shouldn't show any emotions... That I shouldn't even be alive, really.

I opened my arms, and Hanni hugged me immediately. She rested her head on my chest. The next person who suddenly started to cry loudly was Danielle. Without saying a word, I hugged her too. Hyein was the next one to hug all of us, tears streaming down her face.

I chuckled as I looked at Haerin. Her eyes were shining through the tears, and I pulled her into my arms as well. My eyes then fell on Minji. She had also quietly started to cry but turned her head away from us. I chuckled softly, saying, "Come here, Minji," as I hugged her too. We all embraced each other while the five of them cried.

But I smiled. I didn't really have the urge to cry. It was about the fact that I was almost bouncing with joy. It really made me happy that they all felt this way. God... I love them all...

[redsea8me]

I just wanna say that your Side Effects AU has me going FERAL it's sitting rent free in my head and has claimed squatter's rights!!

I'm curious if you have any ideas you have surrounding Hyde and Ratchet, and maybe even Team Prime?

Sorry if I'm a bit over the top, pls take these flowers 💐💐💐

Oh my god thank you sm!! It makes me so happy to hear that (will gladly accept those flowers) you’re most certainly not over the top I love answering questions about my au

okay, so w/ Hyde and Ratchet, Hyde is very focused on not being him that it influences his interests too, like Ratchet hates rock music so he loves it type beat (I’ve had it in my head for awhile now that if Hyde was his own separate person since the beginning and they were like normal brothers, he would have been a mortician with a rockstar side gig) and yknow, it definitely sucks at first bc he’s not doing it for himself until he realizes that all Ratchet does everyday is stand at that stupid computer all day so he has more time than most to figure out what he actually likes (still does enjoy rock music tho) he’s very subtly trying to get Ratchet away from it more and more

Hyde and Ratchet have never agreed on what music should be playing and they rarely come to a consensus

Hyde has taken (partial) control over their body far more than Team Prime realizes, mainly when Ratchet is SUPER tired Hyde can easily influence their body so they can get some rest (and it’s totally not because he cares or anything, of course not) and rarely during a mission or something, Ratchet will let Hyde have a bit more control bc he can push their body a bit more

Okay!! Team Prime before this gets too long 😭 but Optimus makes Hyde kind of nervous, he’s not as good at reading Optimus as he’d like to be. His friendship with Ratchet was a large source of fear in the beginning, now it’s just sort of scary authority figure

He wants to rough house with Bulkhead so bad it’s not even funny, he adores sparring and that little bit he got when Ratchet first tested the sythn en was so fun!! (He honestly just wants to be friends with him and Miko so bad)

Arcee he likes bothering, they sass and tease each other a lot I imagine. She took the longest to warm up to him I think

Bumblebee and him have like, me and my estranged cousin vibes (bc let’s not forget, Hyde isn’t really that old at all) when they get past the awkward phase I think they’d be quick friends (Hyde is this close to giving him some sort of piercing)

oh on that topic his snake bites I always draw him with are magnets bc Ratchet doesn’t want piercings like those (never lets him have any fun 😔)

A big point of contention for Hyde when he’s finally integrated with the Autobots is people treating him like he’s fragile bc of Ratchet, like he can understand not wanting him to get injured bc whatever injured he gets will transfer over to their only medic, he gets it. But at the same time he wants so badly to be taken more seriously, or let on missions more bc he can’t stand being stuck in this base (the cabin fever goes crazy)

anyways um, thank you for listening to me rant a bit 😭 hope it’s everything you wanted 🙏

[mari-lair]

On chapter 6 of the spin-off, Teru seems genuinely surprised to learn Akane thinks he hates him.

Teru talks as if he wants to change this view, but his “oh is nothing personal” moment is followed by him calling Akane a half-roach and explaining that he is bullying him because he likes having a stress relief toy.

The interesting thing here is that Teru is being honest.

He does use Akane to relieve stress and gets joy when he bullies him, always smiling when kicking his ass and keeping up the habit to make Akane's life hard even in later arcs where they are more chill with each other.

His monologue can be easily seen as a verbal beating, which in a way, it absolutely is, he did not have to be this direct, but it only started in the first place because he was answering Akane’s question of “why do you set up so many traps for me?”

And since that is all Akane had asked, that is all he got.

Teru tends to assume way too much, he overestimated how perceptive Akane is, finding no reason to share important details about how he views him.

There is absolutely no way Akane can tell from his borderline insults that Teru thinks he is wise or nice to talk to. He didn’t provide even implications about it outside, arguably, his casual attitude.

Is no wonder Akane assumes Teru's view of him is simply “you’re amusing/ my stress relief toy.” for a while, and any show of trust or care from Teru either startled Akane or makes him uncomfortable.

They have built a more solid friendship after the severance, but since the start of the manga, Teru did not hate Akane.

Teru even used his most ‘this is how I make friends!’ tactic on Akane, which is asking questions about his life and wanting to know him better. He gets very excited about new information and remembers everything he learns about Akane.

learning information is how Teru shows interest in people, just take a look on how he approaches Aoi, always full of questions.

Teru forces Akane to give him answer though, he is consistently far more aggressive with Akane than anyone else he seems to cares about.

Is it because Akane is half supernatural? Surprisingly no, not quite.

He acknowledged Akane’s seat and that his power is supernatural, but he doesn’t lump him with the other supernaturals, he never refers to Akane as 'supernatural’ or ‘No.1′, seeing him as either ‘Aoi’ or ‘human’.

To Teru, Akane is a human with supernatural powers, not a supernatural.

And he acknowledge both Akane’s distaste for supernaturals and that the contract was half forced. He would have never given him glasses to “live his life like he used to” if he didn’t believe in Akane’s humanity above all else.

Teru treats him as a human.

Him calling Akane a half roach in this extra is an exception, I searched all other extras and manga panels and couldn’t find it being said again, or being refered as a sort of stress. The relay interview explicitly tell us Teru’s issue with Akane have nothing to do with supernaturals.

It makes me believe Teru is just being a dick in the spin off.

It is in his nature to annoy Akane whenever there is an opportunity after all.

Just compare it to how he treats Nene. 

Her situation with the mermaid curse would make her half supernatural, arguably even more supernatural than Akane, since Akane’s contract has a time limit, and lifespan issue aside, it is implied Nene would have never gotten rid of the mermaid curse even if she lived till 100 years. 

Because he sees her as a human first, he never focuses on the mermaid curse or reprimands her for walking with supernaturals, instead accepting that her fate to die is already set in stone, and treating her with a lot of kindness. She is still alive after all. And most of his hatred for supernaturals comes from the danger they represent towards human life, is not a hatred as blind as people make it out to be.

So why does he treat Akane so badly?

His excuse that he can’t exorcise a half roach like Akane and that stresses him, is contradicted twice in the same chapter, seemingly connecting this ‘stress relief’ job more to the idea of Akane being his vice president than him being half supernatural.

It makes no sense, and Akane calls him out on it, reprimanding him for being a dick.

I personally believe the reason Teru use “vice president” as an excuse, is because that’s an Akane only role. There is no other student council vice-president, just as there is no other person that would come back to the student council every day even after getting this treatment.

Akane’s reaction to this nonsense is mostly comedic annoyance, so Teru acts like a kid and keeps doing it. If Akane was genuinely hurt by his behavior Teru would stop.

He always sobers up when the people he cares about are in genuine distress. He hates delivering bad news, or being unable to do anything.

When he sees his actions have consequences, he either avoids the problem or awkwardly tries to change, similar to a learning child.

A lot of what he does feels like a learning child. For as hard as he can be to understand, he is surprisingly consistent in his honesty, genuine to an almost childish extent.

Many things that would be rude to ask, or embarrassing to admit, are things Teru is upfront about. He has absolutely no tact, and while he is aware he is being rude on many occasions, he simply does not care about it.

This childish behavior clashes really nicely with his personal belief that ignorance is bliss.

In his own way, he is being kind by keeping everyone in the dark, truly believing that accepting that Nene's fate can’t be changed and focusing on making her happy without acknowledging she will die is the best he can do, that not telling Kou he believes he is too weak for exorcism and that he envies such weakness is the best alternative: That not hurting anyone is the best.

And while this misguided thought is based on kindness, since he doesn’t want people to get hurt, it is also cowardly: He doesn’t want himself to be hurt either. He is scared of it.

People being depressed upsets him. So he avoids it.

People he care about hating him makes his entire world crash. So he avoids it.

He locked himself in his room because he understood that he fucked up in his fight with Kou, and was convinced that Kou hate him for it. “Sees him as a villain" or a liar, or just someone that he has outgrown.

It's why he completely changed his attitude when he realized Kou is worried about him.

Teru is an undeniably stubborn, and arrogant, but he is not cruel. It's why he gets out of his comfort zone, completely forgets about the fireworks, and tries to explain himself when he realizes how Kou feels (sad and guilty) is not how he had assumed ( “kou hates me”).

 He tries to fix his mistakes by giving Kou a choice after every downside is laid on the table..

He tries to set aside his insecurities and not take how Kou no longer prioritize him as a personal attack.

And he is delighted when he gets the reassurance he was too scared to ask.

This attempt to change his approach with Kou is constant too, is a break in routine, which takes effort to change, is not easy, but he’ll try his best.

Which ties back to why he never changed his approach with Akane.

Akane never has a serious talk about Teru’s behavior he just kind of... rolls with it, just accepting that he will be Teru’s stress toy. He may not be happy about it but he doesn’t do anything to make Teru fear that he will be hated if he continues to treat Akane like this: Akane doesn’t cry, doesn’t try to injure Teru back, or start avoiding him, Teru has no signs this treatment sticks to Akane, or that Akane truly hates him.

Which, surprisingly, is true.

Akane brushes off any bullying in the span of one page or two: In chapter 29 Akane was stuck for 1 hour completely unable to move, his body growing numb, and he got over it and changed focus in the 5 minutes Nene came to visit. No fear in sight. He is just built diferent.

Not to imply that Teru isn’t insane with every character.

He may not be as rude and eager to share his thoughts as he is with Akane but he is still a bad liar/ far from princely.

[alagaesia-headcanons]

I'll never get enough of the AUs where Murtagh in some way, at some point ends up in Carvahall instead of Uru'baen. There are so many potential variations of how he gets there and who he stays with and even the little differences have some really fun effects. I'm especially intrigued by the idea of Murtagh growing up there while still clearly remembering Morzan and his dragon and where he came from. I think it makes for an interesting counterpoint to canon where Murtagh can't escape his past and his father's legacy because that's what everyone sees in him. Instead, in Carvahall, his past becomes such a dangerous taboo that it can't even be acknowledged, much less focused on. Rather than his past restricting him in its grasp, it keeps sliding out of his own grasp, defying all his efforts to understand what it means for him and what everyone else might feel about it. Black and blue eyes and gleaming red scales haunt his dreams, but he has to swallow those memories down every time.

Assuming Murtagh grows up with Garrow and Marian, when he first arrives with all his fear, he's determined to never breath a word about any of that. But he gets older and starts to second guess that resolve- Eragon aches to know who his father is and Murtagh hates lying to him. He deserves to eventually know the truth (what Murtagh thinks is true, that is), even if it's painful. And it gnaws at Murtagh's own heart to wonder if his family would accept him if they knew, or if the only thing perpetuating his acceptance is their ignorance. At night, he tosses and turns wondering if he's turning out just like his father, a question he can never answer because he has no reference of Morzan beyond his own dim, scattered memories.

One of my favorite AUs like this that exist inside my brain follows that track and actually stays very close to canon. Murtagh grows up alongside Eragon, and plans to tell him about his past when he turns 16, but before that, the Ra'zac arrive and he's tortured as well as Garrow. He pulls through only to discover Eragon vanished with Brom and he goes to track them down, eventually saving them when they're the ones at the Ra'zac's mercy. Then when he's kidnapped and enslaved, there's so much more heartbreak and guilt because he's pitted against everyone he grew up with and cares for. And maybe Brom gets to live so there can be a reckoning when Murtagh does tell Eragon what he believes about their parentage, following him as he struggles for the courage to face his son and tries to find any way to help his step son, before it's all too late.

For something that goes quite differently, I've been thinking through an AU where both Selena and Morzan live. Selena fakes Murtagh's death to disguise her stealing him away and she and Brom raise him and Eragon in Carvahall. They love and protect them fiercely and the boys grow up safe and happy, but whenever Murtagh tries to ask about the things that happened before, they swiftly shut him down and dissuade him from ever mentioning it out of their own fear of the past. It leaves him feeling out of place and fragmentary. And that comes at a cost when Morzan appears, under orders to search for the egg. Murtagh has to hurriedly figure out what he was never able to, now with so much danger hanging in the balance, because no matter how Morzan could want to treat him, that might not matter against the king's orders. And Selena and Brom have to confront their own snarled relationships with Morzan that were never truly laid to rest. (It also caters to my desire to jerry rig the three of them into a very messy and emotionally charged polycule.)

In that one, I build something more redeemable into Morzan's character (soon I definitely plan to elaborate on why I find that a fascinating angle to take with him). I don't know if anyone would want it, but I wrote a drabble for that AU when Murtagh first sees Morzan again, and I could brush it up and post it. [EDIT: here's the fic] I just love the idea of small town farm boy Murtagh who's peaceful and amiable and also just a little bit off. Like maybe sending the guy who dreams each night about blood red swords and dragon's snapping fangs to go plow fields won't last forever.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

I don't know if you already answered this so feel free to ignore.

What is your thoughts on Yu Ziyuan? am I the only one that thinks fandon defence of her saying she is just the typical Asian tiger mom is insulting to Asian mothers? You can be strict and not be abusive and guess what? YZ is not it.

Hell the author themselves made an entire chapter to say that she took things too far too often against a single person to be simple discipline towards a disciple. It was personal and she took great pleasure in it, just bc WY decides to stay despite his treatment doesn't make it any less horrible.

Am i the only one that thinks she only accepted WC orders to whip WY because she always took any chance to do so? That if Wang Lingjao hadn't mentioned she would have to be subservient to someone of lower class she would have gleefully cut off WYs hand and not reacted at all to the Wen invasion?

That in her last moments she made sure to remind WY one last time that he would be nothing but a servant to her, to tie him with a last wish so he would have the moral obligation to give up everything to JC like a proper servant should? I wholly believe part of her sudden tenderness to JC in her last goodbye was to also rub in WY face not only what he never had but what JC was losing just to rub salt in the wound.

Just, in what universe does people see a girlboss misunderstood by the world and its sexism? sometimes i think i read the wrong books or saw a different show... am i really the only one that sees this?

Good evening anon, I've been sitting on this a bit as I was weighing how exactly to answer this coherently. So, for the short answer; I do not like her as a character nor is she supposed to be seen as anything deeper than what she is. A terrible mother and person who let resentment rule her.

The Long Answer: She is not misunderstood, she is very easy to break down. She was a jealous youth who actively agreed to a marriage where the fiancé was already lukewarm to her disposition and continued to cast blame on Cangse Sanren stealing something she never had. Note as well, as she was the one to force a marriage and insisted on this even after Cangse Sanren had married Wei Changze. She is selfish and entitled. This carries over to how she treats her children, she is not happy with her own self, so she hyper focused on the flaws she instilled within Jiang Cheng. Instead of actually supporting him as a mother should, she insults him and instead of love she actively despises and insults her own child. This is not a healthy parental figure. She was hardly there enough obviously to even think of offering care and love in a very negligent household. She laughs instead when Wei Wuxian is brought in she is more concerned about being proven right about adding another child into the household will disrupt their already volatile dislike of each other.

Not once does she praise her children she fixates on despising Wei Wuxian and being annoyed he is able to be talented naturally so much she constantly pits her son against him herself and encourages that resentment to grow in him. She does not care about anything other than her own festering hate, and sure as hell never nurtured her own with love. She is miserable, pathetic and no whatever love she may have held for Jiang Cheng was toxic and all the worse to him as she never uplifted him as an actual loving parent should.

Her treatment of Wei Wuxian is certainly just as vile given he wasn't even her own yet she stayed forever jealous all over her own stories that exasperated her own hate for Cangse Sanren and superimposed that to Wei Wuxian. She has no excuse for her treatment of any of the children under her household. Hate is a sad way to live and end life, and it stops being sympathetic when she lived and died garnering the feelings and reactions she earned with it.

[andreal831]

Do you think Mikael genuinely loved Esther?

No...?

It's hard because we see so little of their interactions.

We don't see any of their interactions in Dahlia and Esther's flashbacks in Season 2, which I think would have been the only time that Mikael did genuinely love her if he did. From what Esther tells Dahlia, it seems like Mikael and Esther were spending time together and he made her feel safe and loved. I do question if this love was genuine or if it was simply Esther's naivety. Esther had just watched her family be slaughtered and kidnapped by the village she was now being held captive in. She wasn't in the best mental state to be falling in love. She was also, I believe, fairly young and easy to take advantage of given everything.

It was clear that Dahlia and Esther were not fully accepted into the village given how they enslaved Dahlia. Just because we didn't see Esther being treated the same, doesn't mean she was welcomed. So I see it one of two ways. Mikael genuinely fell in love with Esther and was willing to face the consequences of marrying an outsider. Or, the one I think is more likely, Mikael was "encouraged" by his father/village leaders to marry Esther to secure Dahlia for life. This was fairly common for the time.

Esther does say that Mikael was better before Freya's "death," but that, to me, just means he wasn't physically abusive. There is a low bar with Mikael. I also think that any love for Esther he may have had died when Freya "died." It does seem that Mikael blamed her for Freya's death. The only joy he got back was after Klaus' birth when he thought he had found his warrior son. As Klaus got older, he became angry that Klaus wasn't the warrior he wanted him to be. Mikael never recovered from that anger. He may have felt fondness for Esther for giving him a warrior son, but that again would have disappeared as he grew disappointed in Klaus.

I don't even think Mikael's anger at Klaus killing Esther was about Esther really. Rather it was about Klaus taking what belonged to him. Even how they interact in TO doesn't suggest any love lost. I wish we could have seen them interact more in TO or TVD. A lot of Esther's backstory gets erased or told through other characters which causes the fandom to reduce her to a two dimensional character. Fleshing out her relationship with Mikael would have been really interesting, but they didn't do it because they didn't want to humanize Klaus' excuses. The show focuses on male villains as abuse victims, but tends to erase the women in these stories or even justify the abuse they suffered.

So the short answer is I don't know because the show didn't bother to give Esther a backstory. But to me, it doesn't seem like he did. If he did, it didn't last long.

Thanks for the ask!