#shen qingqiu says i can fuck him to save my life

[diushek]

Shen Qingqiu decides that in order to avoid becoming a human stick... He should just become a woman and take a wife plot!! There are HUNDREDS of wife plots in PIDW, and well, Shen Qingqiu can become a woman and fall into one, become Luo Binghe's wife after the regulatory papapa, and be forgotten in the harem. It's not a bad idea.

(Shang Qinghua keeps his comments to himself, extremely amused by Cucumber-bro's mental gymnastics. Heaven save him.)

So, Shen Qingqiu bites the bullet and gets himself a rare flower that transforms his body into a woman body, with tits and... bottoms. He makes it look like an accident, which, combined with the effect of Without-A-Cure, has no immediate solution. Mu Qingfang is jaded but not skeptical, so they just let it be. Shen Qingqiu is still Shen Qingqiu, Peak Lord and resting bitch face™, only now he must wear robes that do not squeeze his grown chest so much and a belt that fits tighter around his waist.

Shen Qingqiu still thinks of himself as a man, the other Peak Lords and disciples still refer to him as Shixiong and Shizun, as the immortal master that he is, and more than that there is not much to say. Shang Qinghua occasionally makes a comment about him having nice tits and earns a couple of fan blows to the head, but it's not really too different from before.

He hasn't decided yet what wife plot he will use. Maybe the flower that sex-pollen-poisons him but makes him irresistible to any demon around him? It would tempt Binghe's demonic side a bit, and secure him the papapa. Or the water from that spring that would make the typical fuck or die plot only solvable with the Heavenly Pillar? Shen Qingqiu believes that he has time to think about it further; after all, there are still years to The Moment, right?

The plague of Jinlan City and Luo Binghe's unexpected and early return throw him into absolute chaos. Fuck! He still has nothing ready! Not even a flower of pollen on him that would make Binghe spare his life!

Well, Shen Qingqiu will have to cope with only the experience of trashy romance novels, improvisation and his arduous desire to survive.

...

When Luo Binghe arrives at his room, demanding answers from the elusive Shizun who hasn't even shown himself to him... Shizun only has inner robes. There's... Blush on his cheeks? Wet lips and bitten? The tunics open at the subtle curve of... Breasts? A tiny waist - even tinier than before, Luo Binghe is confident he can hold his hands around it without any problems - and wide hips where the fabric of his inner tunics almost seems transparent. Luo Binghe falls silent, his brain boiling in five different temperatures.

"Binghe?" asks his Shizun, who somehow seems to have been... cursed with this form? He looks vulnerable, a sweet fawn with huge eyes, a blushed face, and a sweet half-open mouth. "Is it really you?"

His Shizun looks big eyes on the verge of tears. He approaches, not caring about the ill-fitting tunics, not caring that one of his shoulders slides, revealing white skin, a stretch of cleavage. And his Shizun holds his face, hands cold and almost trembling, as if he were seeing a dream come true in front of him.

Luo Binghe... wonders if Shizun ever dreamed of that. If his Shizun ever dreamed of seeing him come back to now react in that way. Because now tears are streaming down Shen Qingqiu's face, and he is holding Binghe's face so lovingly in his hands that Luo Binghe can only melt into his touch.

"Shizun," he says, because it's all he wants to say, it's all he can say. His anger is a chaos that spirals out in all directions, but how can he let it out there? In front of the vulnerable Shizun who cries for him? There must be an explanation, Luo Binghe tells himself. He needs to hear that.

But he also needs Shen Qingqiu not to cry.

"My Binghe" his Shen Qingqiu says, his own heart racing. Luo Binghe lets Shen Qingqiu move him, pulling him, wrapping him in a hug. Luo Binghe must lean down to be hugged tightly by his Shizun, but there... There is a stretch of white throat exposed. There is so much soft skin exposed in every direction. He can see the pronounced curve of his cleavage, but he can feel almost beneath his mouth the throbbing in his throat, the scent of his hair, the perfume of his skin...

And Shen Qingqiu squeezes him tighter, almost making him bend over him, holding him as if he never wants to let go. And Luo Binghe can feel every curve of his body pressed against him, he can lose himself in the scent of his skin, in the strong grip of his arms. His own body is awakening irrationally and embarrassingly, but if Shen Qingqiu notices it, he doesn't say anything...

No, in fact, Shen Qingqiu is getting closer to him?

Is Shizun poisoned? Or something? Some pollen? Some flower? What's going on?

"My sweet disciple," Shen Qingqiu says, and as much as Binghe wants to pull away to see his face, Shen Qingqiu holds him against him. Luo Binghe believes it is because, despite everything, his Shizun's face is still so thin... "This... This Shizun has missed his good boy Binghe so much..."

Luo Binghe feels his own rational brain shutting down. Oh well. He'll figure out what needs to be figured out later. His cock will be taking control of all the blood in his body now.

(When Shen Qingqiu is pushed against a wall and roughly kissed, he restrains himself from pumping a fist in the air in celebration. YEAH!!! HE DID IT!! HE'S GOING TO SURVIVE THAT AND WITHOUT BECOMING A HUMAN STICK!!)

...

(Papapa - about five to six rounds, Shen Qingqiu lost count at some point - later, Shen Qingqiu is not too sure that he will actually survive. His little blackened lotus has a lot to learn. Ah, where did he learn to be so rough? Those kisses seemed more like bites than kisses. Lots of teeth, lots of teeth. And his touch is rough and not gentle at all, and Shen Qingqiu is more in pain from his clumsy fingers than from the Heavenly Pillar. Did the demon jiejie in the Abyss they hadn't taught him anything? At this point in the plot Luo Binghe should know at least something on how to be a good lover!!

Or was Airplane's poor writing now reflecting on the Protagonist!? Oh, Shen Qingqiu hoped not, because otherwise Airplane was going to pay for it with his blood.

Ah well. Once a Shizun, always a Shizun. Shen Qingqiu is going to have to teach his cute Binghe a little about this too. And sleepy after a some orgasms, the truth is that he doesn't object at all.)

[happypeachsludgeflower]

SVSSS BRAINWAVE JUST HIT! I HAD A THOUGHT ™

An average modern person transmitigates into SVSSS. Mind you, I specifically mean SVSSS and not PIDW. That’s right, our protagonist awakens to find themselves as a NPC in the world of Scum Villain Self Saving System. And they think to themselves upon waking up, “Oh, I’m an NPC in a xianxia novel with a happy ending! Cool!!” and goes about their life being a background nerd geeking out about plants, and monsters, and cultivation in general, and neat flying swords.

But this is a world of sex pollen and wife plots and unfortunately the cure for a lot of diseases is duel cultivation with a heavenly demon, and we all know who that demon is going to end up marrying, so it’s best to mess around with meta cultivation knowledge and prep for the worst case scenario, and honestly, they may as well solve some of the minor issues in the plot while their at it, so they invent some new cultivation techniques from some of those nifty svsss fanfictions they read while alive (I’m specifically thinking of this fic’s explanation of duel cultivation and cauldrons, but other weird cultivation methods could be used from other fanfics and xianxia books), so they can tidy up some things.

For instance, is it really necessary for Zhuzhi-lang to be stuck as a weird snake creature for nearly twenty years? Is it really needed for Yue Qingyuan to have crippled cultivation due to his sword?? Does Tianlang Jun have to be stuck under a mountain and then escape only to slowly die in a decomposing body??

They know they can’t change everything without the system interfering, but small nudges should help right? After all, they’re just a background NPC and Shen Yuan will show up eventually and everyone will fall in love with him and no one will even notice the NPC’s existence even if they had noticed something was up during their miraculous healing and salvation spree.

So they go about fixing those things. They catch Zhuzhi-lang unawares and feed him a sun and dew mushroom seed while he’s confused and do some funky cultivation shenanigans and pat him on the head cause he’s really such a cute weird snake creature and give him some vague warning about not trusting in laws and then fucks off to somewhere else.

I’m still caught up on Metagaming’s concept of duel cultivation transactions where you give and take—like taking something from someone’s cultivation, not just power, and returning something else—and keep getting stuck in a brainrot loop of the NPC taking some bloodmite powers from Zhuzhi-lang when they gave him a fully humanoid form that’s not reliant on Tianlang Jun. So my main idea for how the NPC plots to hold Yue Qingyuan in place is feeding him lesser bloodmites (not full ones because they only took a minor ability and can only hold someone for a few minutes before the bloodmites die), while they hold Yue Qingyuan still long enough to draw some ritual to heal his soul and separate it from Xuan Su. But honestly, I’m sure other ideas could apply here too. My Metagaming brainrot is just too strong right now to think of any.

And Tianlang Jun? Simple. Zhuzhi-lang’s got a humanoid form and can easily get the sun and dew mountain flowers for himself. They can’t stop the man from being imprisoned entirely. The system says no since Luo Binghe needs a dramatic entrance. So while they can’t stop the tragedy, they can put some pieces into play for an early escape, maybe a new plan to get him a better body once’s he’s back, and be a ferry for Su Xiyan’s body to revive her at some point as well.

It’s nice being an unnoticeable NPC, isn’t it? You can do whatever you want and no one’s going to know!!

Except. Someone does notice (as we all could have seen coming). And Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as fuck of this obnoxious Shidi because he notices everyone due to paranoid, and he’s even MORE suspicious of the mysterious character that healed Yue Qingyuan’s soul (and wasn’t that a doozy of a realization to have when Yue Qingyuan burst into his bamboo house one day freaking out because some disguised, powerful cultivator somehow did the impossible after ambushing him and holding him down as they healed his soul, and Shen Qingqiu is still reeling from learning that Yue Qingyuan’s SOUL was damaged trying to save Xiao Jiu and the stubborn asshole never told him because he apparently assumed Xiao Jiu knew there wasn’t a single universe where Qi ge didn’t try to come for him). And so yea, Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as all hell and starts snooping and plotting to catch the mysterious cultivator by combing through Cang Qiong because whoever it is has to have an in at the sect somewhere to know about Yue Qingyuan’s soul.

And that’s not even mentioning how suspicious Zhuzhi-lang and Tianlang Jun are now. They might not have realized what that strange cultivator did when they did it, or understood the cryptic in law mention, but they certainly have some suspicions now that Tianlang Jun was as imprisoned by in law like people, and Zhuzhi-lang kept his humanoid form just fine without Tianlang Jun, and now the hunt is ON for the mysterious benefactor, so they can repay the kindness and find out what the fuck is going on.

The NPC is, of course, oblivious to all of this going on and goes about their merry way thinking they’re being the Best ™ at being lowkey. They are SO good at being inconspicuous!! They deserve an award really!!

And then. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t qi deviate.

Shen Yuan doesn’t show up.

Oh shit, the NPC thinks to themselves as they begin to panic. They even check Shen Qingqiu out themselves to see if it’s Shen Yuan just being really good at acting. Maybe he was a better actor in the book than he gave himself credit for or something?? But no. That’s Shen Qingqiu all right. Shen Yuan is missing in action, and someone has to fix the plot of Cang Qiong is doomed.

Thus begins the NPC’s journey to try and unobtrusively fix PIDW’s child abuse problems (that they’re unaware are already fixed), save Liu Qingge from his qi deviation in Ling Xi Caves, make sure Luo Binghe doesn’t raze the sect to the ground someday and hopefully find him some sort of husband replacement to keep him under control when he does return, possibly dispose of the Huan Hua Palace Master at some point because he’s vile trash, and did I mention there are multiple man hunts for this poor oblivious dude currently on going??

And the most important question for them to solve? Where the fuck did Shen Yuan go??

Hmm I wonder where that man could have gone.

[naehja]

ok ok imagine (prompt svsss, free for adoption)

The ending is here. The wedding BingQiu is about to happen.

Except the system decides to be a bitch.

[User! Congratulation. Congratulation. Congratulation.]

"What?"

[You reach the more or less happy ending. \(^o^)/)

"more or less?"

[It could have been better User :/]

"so why do you want"

[You have succeeded to the quest. You did what you need to did]

"And?"

[You can return home now =)]

"WHAT?"

[I lied when i said you were dead in your world, to force you stay. Sorry User ^^" In fact only three hours have passed in your world, you have just passed out.]

"What do you mean?"

[You can return home. Horray \^o^/]

"But what will happen here?"

[The body will be given back to his rightful owner! =)]

"Wait…This scum will have everything i won?"

[So rude user >_< you have seen his past]

"but he doesn't love Binghe"

[The world doesn't turn around the protagonist.]

"he doesn't love Binghe"

[That's not my problem user!!]

"But i made a life here! I want to stay!"

[That body has never been your, User.]

"He killed Liu Qingge in the original"

[Nope :P He didn't]

"But the wedding. I want to stay here. Please."

[So user is happy to take the life of someone else?]

"And what about Airplane?"

[Author was here since the birth of his body, it has always been his body!]

"I refuse!!"

[Not my problem User! è_é]

"I don't want!"

[Fine user, then you'll not remember!]

And Shen Yuan wakes up in his old room, after have apparently passed out because he had eat bad food.

Meanwhile.

Shen Jiu wakes up. His memories are fuzzy. He panicks when he sees someone in his bed. REALLY panicks.

"Shizun?"

IT'S ONE OF HIS STUDENTS oOo?

LUO BINGHE (EWWW)?

Wait…Luo Binghe wasn't 14?

Everyone panicks because he has years of memories who vanished? He has some flashs but doesn't say it.

Binghe thinks that he wedding should still happen. "he will have his memories back at a point!"

Cang Qiong is like "NO? He doesn't remember being in love with you!"

Binghe tries to win over Shen Qingqiu again, brings back medicals things against amnesia, but the poor guy is kinda traumatized, doesn't feel safe in his home, feels dirty because he feels his body has been used against his will to do some...things…he runs to Liu Qingge and asks him "WTF is happening Shidi?"

Strangely he remembers saving Lu Qingge.

And thinks that Qingge = safety

Liu Qingge is really annoyed to see Shen Jiu being harceled like that.

Everyone remember that Shen Qingqiu seemed have changed after this QI deviation years ago, seemed to lose memories, and now he seems have those memories back but not the ones from the time where he was different?

so what if it was really a possession? But he could use his sword!

Binghe doesn't take it well. And all his attempts are not well receveid by Shen Jiu. Who doesn't feel safe with him.

At a point, a mysterious aterfact from demon world reveals that Shen Jiu's soul was "asleep" for all those years since this famous QI deviation. So that "something" take over for all this time. Something who knows things and used it to pretend being him.

Liu Qingge: I KNEW IT (wait it means that Shen QingQiu would have really saved me if it had been him?)

Yue Qingyuan: I'm sorry Luo Binghe but then…the wedding can't happen.

Binghe doesn't take it well. And tries a lot of thing. but Cang Qiong is now very protective of Shen Jiu. And whatever Binghe does, Shen Jiu stays the same. And becomes close of Liu Qingge.

Shang Qinghua:what the fuck system?

[Don't worry author, you'll stay in this world =)]

"it's not what i mean"

[Everyone deserves a happy ending]

"it's Binghe who will have not one now"

[we'll not always have what we want!]

Later

Shang Qinghua: my king, don't you think that Binghe became unstable?

Mobei-Jun: *sarcastic* ho REALLY? it's a fucking nightmare!

Shang Qinghua: Do you know about this plant who, when made into a certain potion, can turn someone into a baby while erasing all his memories? So they can start over a new life?

Mobei-Jun:

Mobei-Jun: interesting.

Few weeks later, Cang Qiong receives the new that Luo Binghe has been turned into a baby during a experiment.

Cang Qiong: WTF?

Shen Jiu: I fucking warn you, i'm not taking him as disciple AGAIN!

Liu Qingge: Yeah he stays away of our sect! (and of Shen Qingqiu)

Shang Qinghua: that was…weird!

[Author! Congratulation. Congratulation. Congratulation. Now that's a happy ending. Binghe can have a better childhood]

Shang Qinghua:

[That's your son, take your responsabilities!]

Shang Qinghua: Keeping him away of my scum son i guess :/ I can find him good parents. Mobei-jun can take care of him i guess. And what about Cumcumber bro?

[back in his world ^^]

"…Yes i knows that but..."

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

Miraculous Ladybug

Open My Eyes by buggachat

Adrien smiles as he eats breakfast with Nathalie, smiles as he walks through the halls of his new lycée, smiles as people stop him on the street and tell him time and time again what a "hero" his father was.

(Adrien wishes he could've been a hero, too. He should've been. Maybe then his father would still be alive.)

(But he's surviving. Everyone may be treating him as though he were made of glass, but he can still go through the motions, he can prove them wrong, he can still smile.)

“And you’re… happy,” Marinette spoke carefully, a nervous tilt to her voice, “... right?”

(Adrien has some things to find out.)

DC

the good, the bad, and the power hungry by konan_konan

dim trake ☑ @timdrakeceo・8hr if one more person tweets about #superlex unironically im gonna end it all 391K Views | 200 Retweets | 13 Quote Tweets | 22.1K Likes

j-son of a bitch ☑ @jsntdd・8hr ↳ replying to @timdrakeceo hurr durr these are the consequences of ur actions bitch 201K Views | 109 Retweets | 4 Quote Tweets | 18.4K Likes

or: lex luthor makes bad choices. and then, so does everyone else.

call me cute and feed me sugar by suzukiblu

Tim Drake had absolutely no intentions of ever becoming anyone's sugar daddy when he met Superboy.

This would have worked out better for him if Superboy had ever had an actual legal identity or an actual legal guardian or just . . . literally anything whatsoever in life. Ever. At all.

Just a bank account, even.

how big, how blue, how beautiful by merils

Kon-El is not good with medical settings. One could even say he's quite bad with them. How bad, exactly?

Well, let's put it this way: Very few things in the world can make him scream for Superman to save him.

(Superman will save him. That's what family's for, right?)

Clone Wars

The Kenobi Chronicles by WobblyCat

General Kenobi isn't actually dead. Someone should really tell that to his troopers, though.

Or: The clones under General Kenobi's command have a groupchat dedicated to him. Cody wishes his subordinates weren't so fucking stupid.

SVSSS

Shen Yuan's Forced Shen Qingqiu Redemption Arc by SpicyReyes

The System's OOC function won't unlock all at once - instead, character traits have to be added individually, through quests. This leads to Shen Qingqiu having to jump through endless hoops just to complete enough side quests to unlock the ability to be a decent person - all while avoiding the effects it has on those around him. If only the cheapskate System wouldn't keep changing the cost of point values - he needs to know what the hell Yue Qingyuan told the others about him that makes them all look so sad when he does manage to be nice! He's breaking his back here, can't we just appreciate his work?!

second-hand alibis by nex_et_nox

"All right. I’m in Proud Immortal Demon Way," he says, once he's had a chance to compose himself again. He sits back up, tossing his stupidly long hair back over his shoulders where it belongs; he is totally calm and ready to grill the System for more information.  "Who am I supposed to be?" Please please please don't let it be someone who Bingge violently murders. Though given the fact that he's a man in PIDW, his chances are already skewed, and not in his favor. Ugh. [Bound Role: Shen Yuan, Rogue Cultivator. Weapon: the sword Heng Li. Starting B-points: 100.]

or: Shen Yuan transmigrates as a rogue cultivator, one completely unconnected to any canon characters or events. Right, System? Right?

[danmeiconfession]

This is just an opinion.

I’m sorry, but I can’t support a protagonist like Shen Yuan if he can’t respect the body of the person he’s taken over. The transmigration trope in many of these novels often leads to the erasure of the original soul, which makes me feel sad for them. While I understand why many fans like his character, I can’t root for him anymore. There’s a sort of horror in knowing that he and the rest of the readers pushed for such a bleak ending for Shen Jiu. An omnipotent being forces him to be a scum villain, and the person who condemned him has now taken over his body, his name, and married his abuser, his torturer. Imagine how horrified he’d be to learn he’s married to his own disciple—it’s disgusting. Someone who is just like all the men in his life takes away his autonomy and the name he earned; Shen Qingqiu is literally ripped away from him.

I remember someone mentioning that Shen Jiu follows the formula of MXTX's shou protagonists, and they’re right. The only difference is that he’s not allowed to gain a second chance. When Wei Wuxian tried to save the Wens, it cost him everything, similar to how Shen Jiu’s attempt to save his martial brother set off a domino effect of tragedy.

There’s a difference between Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan. Unlike Shen Yuan, whose path is clear and predictable, Shen Jiu’s very rare but kind actions often lead to dire consequences. Each time he tries to do something good, the world retaliates harshly. That’s why I like Shen Jiu more. I don’t mind a character’s misdeeds if they reveal something profound about them. Shen Jiu’s attempts to do good, even when they backfire, show his sincerity. Shen Yuan’s choices, on the other hand, seem easy and don’t require much moral struggle.

What saddens me is that a rich, lazy millennial is thrust into the body of a traumatized orphan and somehow gets the happy ending. Even if he didn’t ask for it, there’s a moral duty to respect the original character he's inhabited now because without Shen Jiu’s body, Shen Yuan would have no purpose is that even a lie because what goals or aspirations did he even have? We truly have nilch to go off what he's like without he's online persona but frankly he's a bad person to me if he harasses an author and makes no effort to even get himself to express his emotions especially his apathy like the fuck bro what going on here bro?? How do you just not give a shit about anything besides your beloved LBG like he's cuckoo up in the head like a few bolts and screws were lost in the making of his birth.

It actually made me mad, to be honest. I wish the author had never created Shen Jiu as a character because it spoiled my enjoyment of the book that I took as fun entertainment. SVSSS was the first transmigration story I read that gave the original soul such an important role. Other stories often use these bodies as self-insert devices, but knowing Shen Jiu is an actual character made me see him differently.

I also find it unsettling that Shen Yuan has to live as another person for the rest of his life. Sometimes, silence speaks louder than words. If the author isn’t going to do an identity reveal in an MXTX story, what does that say about Shen Yuan’s relationship with everyone else and the ML included? Wouldn’t everything fall apart? Doesn't that mean something is off lol???

This omission to me kinda undermines the foundation of his relationships, especially with the main love interest. Living a lie means that Shen Yuan’s connections are based on a false premise. If those around him, including the main love interest, don’t know who he truly is, their interactions and feelings might be based on their own misconceptions. In essence, the story hinges on Shen Jiu because his life and identity are the foundation upon which Shen Yuan builds his new existence and I find SY careless and disregard of that to be unappealing for a protagonist to follow .

I can see how the System's role in "SVSSS" can be interpreted as a form of horror, especially considering the implications for Shen Jiu. Here's an expanded take on your guys idea a theory of sorts:

The System's reasoning for booting Shen Jiu out and replacing him with Shen Yuan could be seen as a chillingly calculated move. Shen Jiu’s unwillingness to follow the predetermined outline and his resistance to the System's goals could have led to his removal. The System’s primary objective seems to be the satisfaction and happiness of Luo Binghe, the protagonist. Given the tragic nature of "PIDW" (Proud Immortal Demon Way), the System might have sought a more compliant individual to ensure a more favorable outcome for Luo Binghe.

If the protagonist, Luo Binghe, obsessively desires companionship and affection from Shen Qingqiu, and the original Shen Jiu isn't reciprocating, the System might decide to alter the course of the world. This new beginning involves replacing Shen Jiu with someone who not only understands the narrative but is also deeply invested in Luo Binghe's happiness—someone like Shen Yuan. As a form of punishment for Shen Jiu’s disobedience, the System forces him to take a backseat, helplessly watching as events unfold with Shen Yuan in control of his body.

This scenario adds a layer of horror, as it portrays the System as an omnipotent force capable of rewriting lives and fates to suit its goals. Shen Jiu’s autonomy is completely stripped away, and he’s forced to witness his own life being manipulated and his identity being overridden. By replacing Shen Jiu with Shen Yuan, the System ensures that Luo Binghe’s desires are met, but at the cost of Shen Jiu’s existence.

.

[shizunitis]

Luo Binghe & Tianlang-Jun: Origins. And a Bit of Projection.

Disclaimer: This is basically just a collection of quotes from The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System, Volume 3, accompanied by (adjective) thoughts, and then even more relevant quotes listed at the end. If I could, I’d paste the entirety of Chapter 18.

“As expected, I can’t bring myself to hate humans.” — Vol. 3, Chapter 21: Always Together

I will always be conflicted on the topic of Tianlang-jun, and it annoys me. There is so much I could say about him, and so little I can successfully articulate. He is, to me, more confounding, complex and tragic than Shen Jiu.

He’s pitiful and awe-inspiring, wicked and affable, cunning and wide-eyed in his curiousity. He is a compelling, heartbreaking character. He alternates between emotionless wisdom and mournful apathy. I admire how his knees don’t buckle under the weight of his grief, but how he crumbles at the barest hint of hope. How rage claws at him and, still, he can’t figure out how to make it stick.

I empathise with him. I understand him.

But then, in the distance, Luo Binghe's indifferent voice disturbs the silence, causing me to drop my drink onto the floor and this post onto your screen:

“He’s not my father.”

It’s an interesting exercise, exploring their relationship in reconciliation fics. To see them interact (semi-)honestly, watch them take turns filling up the chasm between them. It’s wonderful. Every fic I’ve read centred around them was a delightful read that I still think about.

However. I cannot see Tianlang-Jun, as I understand him, as Luo Binghe’s father. And not just because of the 3rd Novel’s events.

But because Binghe had hoped for something; he did have that wide-eyed wonder. He did hold one last window open, for the sake of an improbability he couldn’t quite, just yet, dismiss.

It’s what (most) orphaned and/or adopted childred do.

Though Luo Binghe had never said a word about it before, Shen Qingqiu knew that he harbored some fantasies about his birth parents. […] In fact, he’d always secretly fantasized about whether his parents might still be alive, and how well they’d treat him, and how they’d never let him suffer the mildest slight. — Vol. 3, Chapter 17: Tianlang

It is the most human thing; to want to be helped, accepted, invited by those given to you. A family is given to you. Whether you believe it an act of the divine, of nature, of coincidence, it isn’t something you fight for. It’s the first and, arguably, only thing you don’t have to fight for in life.

Depending on a multitude of factors, that can be a blessing or a curse; but where there is room for interpretation, questions left unanswered, most childred—Binghe included—will turn to their imagination, and try to make sense of it. Usually, to comfort themselves, to reassure themselves that surely, if their family could, they would have.

And, yeah. Most likely, if the Palace Master had gotten punted into the Sun like he fucking deserved, they would have. But does it matter?

In the face of a bleak reality, what comfort is a could-have-been?

He liked to call Luo Binghe “that son of mine,” but he didn’t seem to possess any concept of fatherly affection. […] Luo Binghe was in fact…someone who was unloved by even his own parents. — Vol. 3, Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

What use are good intentions to an abandoned child? What consolation is it, to say, They gave birth to you, when that child has seen no evidence of their care? Does it dry their tears, that their mother can’t be here, but she surely would have wished to be? That their father would protect them, if only he knew of them?

(And don’t make me tell you about the visceral horror I felt reading the Origins chapter. I’ve yet to make my peace with it. MXTX, Airplane, whoever: you’ve ruined me.)

The washerwoman was and continues to be, to Binghe, his only mother. And I would argue, that’s healthy. Even independent of his other traumas (Abyss, Shizun’s betrayal, Xin Mo’s influence, living on the streets, etc, holy shit Binghe) Luo Binghe will not accept anyone else as his mother.

“Who is this Su Xiyan?” Luo Binghe asked coldly. “My mother was a mere washerwoman.” — Vol. 3, Chapter 18: Origins.

It may seem callous. It probably even is! But it is a healthy line he’d drawn by his own initiative. It’s what helps him, what he feels he needs to do in order to do right by his mother, and his own heart.

And! Tianlang-Jun doesn’t seem to give much of a shit, either!

Won’t, probably, even in the future, once the dust will have settled. He is exhausted, weary with carrying the corpse of his love, the loss of his nephew. Whatever goodwill he shows, it’s a perfunctory sort, because he can’t afford more.

So. Uhh.

Tianlang-Jun is not a character I can love, nor one I can hate. Usually, I can’t help but be inclined to love complex characters. Like them, too—though that’s more of an action-based thing rather than just said character’s personality.

But with Tianlang-Jun, I’m stuck whichever way I turn. If I want to love/like him, I’m drawn back by Binghe’s pain and disappointment. If I try to hate/dislike him, I’m drawn back by his own history and grief.

In conclusion:

I don't know! I'm not really trying to, like, prove anything. I still love the aforementioned TLJ & LBH fics, I still love their dynamic. I started walking and ended up exactly in the same space. This, perhaps, could be considered a Heavenly Demon Family Mobius Strip!

I'm not really trying to say anything. It just… makes me feel conflicted, and angry, and whenever I allow myself to think about it a bit more, sad.

But.

However!

Alas.

Nonetheless, even.

As a reader and—on my better days—a writer, all I can say is:

As promised/threatened: some selected passages, for your reading pleasure:

So, it looked like neither the father nor the cousin had any intention of acknowledging Luo Binghe. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

He liked to call Luo Binghe “that son of mine,” but he didn’t seem to possess any concept of fatherly affection. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

Tianlang-Jun lifted his hand, took a look at Luo Binghe’s snow-pale face, and commented indifferently, “He looks like his mother.” “His eyes look like yours,” came a chill voice from the side. — Chapter 15: Holy Mausoleum

The faint hopes and dreams Luo Binghe had held in his heart for many years had been mercilessly pulverized into so much dust. […] [Tianlang-Jun] refused to speak a single word of their relationship and had been utterly ruthless back in the Holy Mausoleum. […] To his parents, Luo Binghe was an unwanted child. — Chapter 18: Origins

“If he was my father, why didn’t he bring it up earlier? Why not tell me?” The most Tianlang-Jun had said was that single line he offered while beating up Luo Binghe, devoid of either praise or criticism: “He looks like his mother.” He looks like his mother. What of it? But that was all. There was nothing more. — Chapter 18: Origins

Luo Binghe was indifferent. “He’s not my father.” […] Luo Binghe shook his head. It was unclear what he was stubbornly clinging to, but he repeated, “He’s not my father.” — Chapter 18: Origins

Luo Binghe raised his smiling face, his eyes shining brightly. “Mother was the kindest person in all the world to me.” — Chapter 19: Shen Jiu

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 20

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

hello hello! As promised the tattoo reveal.

I survived getting half my sleeve lined but boy am I sore. Tattoos on your hand are the absolute pits. Like no joke, hand tattoos are rough my guys. 10/10 do not recommend, but I'm doing it because it looks cute LOL.

This tattoo will be a tea themed sleeve. Featured on this half: hibiscus, chamomile, green tea leaves, raspberries + raspberry leaf, and lemons. I have another appointment in December and January to get the shading done but for now just lines!

I did not have tea with this chapter but that is okay- let's get into the notes!

I was so hung up on Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu's relationship that I totally forgot an entire war is brewing. Well. Here we go LOL

unrelated but important question- what is their ship name???

Okay we are starting the chapter strong with SQQ's gay panic LOL Re: SQQ lying to himself, the reader, and the gods about him actually meaning that he missed the light of his life LBH p241

These two!!!!! "Then why didn't you come look for this master inside the dream realm" p242

"Whenever Shizun is at Cang Qiong Mountain" Luo Binghe said quietly, "When Shizun is with other people, he always smiles so happily. So I thought you wouldn't miss me". p243 This guy is the absolute master manipulator or he just requires unlimited amounts of reassurance. Either way My HEART!

The cat and mouse game at this point is wild. Really Shen Qingqiu needs to figure his shit out because the "accidental" flirting is horse shit. p245

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 "Why does it sound like i've become your father" p246. NO THANKS. But also no wonder it feels weird as fuck- SQQ does not want to be LBH's daddy (in that way).

OOP! FINALLY. Luo Binghe is totally sus about SQQ's knowledge about the future and other things he really shouldn't know. I really hope it's revealed that he is from another world and Luo Binghe is chill with it. p248

Liu Qingge walks into any room in which SQQ was seemingly alone: p250

This is a side note but I really like Qi Qingqi, this woman is fierce as fuck. Like no nonsense I would 100% trust her with my life, death, and rebirth. I do suspect that she doesnt play a large role in the story but I wish she was present more. I do totally want to eventually read some fics with her in them because she is such a badass. p254

Dang! So the realm merging begins! I am sad though that they don't want SQQ to go, but I get it; he keeps running away or getting grievously injured. Also it's so weird that no one is really questioning how he has this much knowledge of future events, they just kind of accept it and run with it LOL (except Luo Binghe who has done the most questioning). pp256-257

Xuan Su is so fucking cool!!!!! p257

Well I am sure that LBH reputation points will increase now that he's saved Zhao Hua Monastery! p260 Thank fuck too, because I really wasn't seeing a positive end game for him and SQQ if he wasn't able to turn his reputation around.

This cheeky guy LOL "Shizun I have missed you, it's been so long" like the fool wasn't sitting in his lap the night before LOL pp261-262

SO AWKWARD LOL. LBH telling everyone who is important that he only cares for SQQ and will only do what SQQ wants him to do and will do absolutely anything for him. Meanwhile SQQ: . I DIED: "Peak Lord Shen has truly raised a good disciple. He's become our cultivation world's tremendous fortune." Though he said "raised a good disciple" the tone was no different from the way he might say "married a good husband." pp262-263

Well. I thought it was embarrassing before, but then we get hit with the "Luo Binghe nodded solemnly. "Yes." His face spread into a smile. "And Shizun is mine.". p265

I really love every conversation between SQH and SQQ. The understanding they have and the banter is so good pp266-267

LOL LBH : I am sooooo tired, let me fly with you? p268

LBH really is shameless! The public hand holding!!! Now it makes me want to read fics from LBH POV- we get SQQ this entire time, but I want to see what LBH has going on in there LOL. p269

He really was yeeted

RIP SQH. May you not die in that hole. pp270-271

[phoenixkaptain]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

I think I have answered this question before, but I don’t mind because I like talking about ny favourite characters!

(And my favourite characters change hourly, so-)

I can’t rank them, I love them all equally, but my current favourites:

1. Luo Binghe from Scum Villain Self-Saving System. I can’t help it. Fanon likes to paint him as comical, at times, but I love how competent he is! He just… would like to be a housewife. Preferably his Shizun’s housewife… and, he is, as Shen Qingqiu says himself, the type of person to smile to your fave while sliding a knife in your back and I love that for him

2. Quan Yizhen from Heaven Official’s Blessing. He throws a bed at Pei Ming. He’s obsessed with his shixiong and beats up his own followers for badmouthing him. He’s smart enough to realize that everyone thinks he’s stupid, therefore he can use obvious tricks because nobody thinks he can fool them. There’s a scene where Xie Lian and Quan Yizhen both praise something for being beautiful (I think it was the Brocade Immortal’s fighting) and even Ling Wen is like “You know I’m trying to kill you right?” He’s great :)

3. Tim Drake from DC Comics. The third Robin, the one most similar to Batman, the world second greatest detective. Can sneak up on Superman and managed to stalk Batman. Was going through a lot and tried to clone his best friend. The quintessential perfectionist. I headcanon that he plans his dates out on corkboards and no one will convince me otherwise. Also, his relationship with Ra’s Al Ghul in his Red Robin run was comedy gold.

4. Artemis Fowl from the books of the same name (I’ve never seen the movie and like to pretend it doesn’t exist). Fakes his own death multiple times and steals gold from fairies and is altogether a criminal mastermind. There’s a scene in the first book where Holly Short (the other main character) tells him to stay put and she’ll bring him back a lollipop (mocking him). She leaves and he mutters “But I don’t like lollipops.” Also gets made fun of for having a girly name, which I can relate to since I was made fun of for having a masculine name.

5. Shen Qiao from Thousand Autumns. God, he’s just the best. He is absolutely infuriating. He has the patience of ten thousand men. Began the book waiting for him to snap, then realized that I didn’t want him to lose his temper because that would make Shen Qiao sad and Shen Qiao deserves all the happiness in the world. His martial brother pushed him off of a fucking mountain. Yan Wushi names a deer after him. Have you ever seen baby Shen Qiao? Qiao-er?? The cutest little fella, the sweetest bean, has never done anything wrong in his life.

6. Marth from the Fire Emblem series. There’s a scene in the remake of the first game where, after you recruit one of the characters during a fight, Marth can talk to him. The character is like “I understand if you don’t trust me.” Marth: “Why wouldn’t I trust you?” “I literally tried to kill you fifteen minutes ago.” Marth: “The past is in the past.” Marth is just the most polite boy. He was the first male character to be included in the FEH Bridal Event and he is… so cute…

7. Mara Jade from Star Wars. Specifically Mara Jade in the Thrawn trilogy. She is loyal to Karrde because he was nice to her. She wants to kill Luke so bad, but she can’t because if she doesn’t find out why he’s so weird before she kills him, she’ll never be at peace. Darth Vader’s coworker. “Who’s this “son of Vader” you keep mentioning?” -Mara Jade, while sitting next to the son of Vader they keep mentioning. Mirrors Anakin and I just love that for her (especially since he went good -> evil and she went evil -> good, they mirror each other babeyyy) She’s like “Are you sure you don’t want me to murder this creepy old guy?” The straightman in her and Luke’s relationship and it is so funny that the literal ex-Dark Jedi is the normal one.

8. Hiwatashi Nazuna from BNA. She is in love with Michiru. Anyone else: “Your agent is weird.” Nazuna: “Shut up you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Michiru: “Your agent is weird.” Nazuna: “You make a great point and I’m going to start distancing myself from him right away.” The trickiest trickster to ever trick trickers. She is willing to kill for Michiru and it’s honestly very relatable.

9. Kudou Shinichi from Detective Conan. The dumbest man alive. Also the most dramatic man alive. Obsessed with Sherlock Holmes and infodumps about him constantly. Is terrible at pretending to be a child, literally nobody is convinced, but Conan is so cute, how can they say no to him? Has the strongest moral compass of any character (aside from maybe Shen Qiao) and the world is lucky his moral compass is so strong, because if he decided to be evil, no one would be able to stop him. My favourite moments are the ones where innocent little Conan-kun smiles and says horribly dark things that even make the murderer scared. Absolutely terrifying, at seventeen and seven, good for him.

10. Tianlang-jun from Scum Villain Self-Saving System. I know it’s another character from Scum Villain, but hear me out. He is absolutely insane. He decides to destroy the world because everyone thought he wanted to. He barters with Su Xiyan over how attractive his face is. He asks Zhuzhi-lang if he thinks he’s ugly. He is a pure-hearted innocent maiden and also the most powerful character in the book. He only loses to Binghe because he was stuck under a mountain for over a decade, and his body is rejecting his demonic qi and falling apart. He makes a coffin look like a throne and is intimidating as fuck, then asks Shen Qingqiu to help him up and his arm pops off. And he just says “Dang. It happened again, Zhuzhi-lang.” My favourite red herring of all time, I just want to pat-pat his head.

These are the current ones. Shout-out to Yan Wushi from Thousand Autumns, who spends the entire novel fucking with Shen Qiao then has the terrible realization that he fell in love with Shen Qiao. Also, he made a very convincing woman. Also also, as I was looking through my notes on Thousand Autumns, I was reminded that he has the truly remarkable ability to ruin Shen Qiao’s reputation without even being present. Amazing! Second shout out to Bai Rong, also from Thousand Autumns, who gets a crush on Shen Qiao and offers to become his sugar daddy. A lot of characters try to seduce Shen Qiao, but Bai Rong was my favourite because she was just so… cute about it.

I like a lot of characters… Thank you for your ask :)

[verycharismaticdragon]

So, the poll is finally over — and it is time to reveal The Truth! (Well, eight truths and one lie, to be more precise.) Let’s get to it!

9th place: “having extremely bad sex was instrumental for saving the world” TRUE

We are starting with the least voted for option, that nevertheless bamboozled 208 people (3.3% of voters). Yup, sorry to everyone who thought a gay romance novel couldn’t possibly have bad sex. We console ourselves with the fact that it was bad for thematic, plot, and character reasons.

8th place: “straight harem novel protagonist experienced a gay awakening” TRUE

First, let me apologize to everyone for my apparently ambiguous grammar. It was meant as “the protagonist of a straight harem novel”, not “a straight protagonist of a harem novel”.

Anyway, this happened! In fact, you could say this happened twice!

You see, Scum Villain is a story of a transmigrator — a guy who died and woke up in another world. More specifically, in the world of a straight harem novel he read, in the body of a villain, Shen Qingqiu. At the time our transmigrator MC entered the world, though, the protagonist of said straight harem novel was still in his teens. So not yet a murderous antihero, and not yet a harem master, but an orphaned child who up to then had a very difficult life. And encountering a man who was kind to him, believed in him, and even protected him at the cost to himself… the protagonist of a straight harem novel fell hard.

Yup, “straight harem novel protagonist” actually refers to the male lead of Scum Villain, Luo Binghe. And, despite what 239 of our voters (3.8%) thought, he did have a gay awakening — this is basically the premise of the novel!

But wait, there’s more. In one of the extra chapters, the original version of Luo Binghe ends up in the world where our transmigrator has changed things, and accidentally swaps places with our Binghe. To the OG’s shock, the villain he tortured and killed over a hundred years ago is not only alive and kicking in this world, but is… nice to him? ?? ????? ??

…So, after a couple of days it takes Shen Qingqiu to figure out that it’s not his Binghe being moody because he got injured but a whole wrong guy, the OG straight harem novel protagonist is also not what he used to be. And beseeching this kind version of his villain to come with him.

So yeah. This happened twice.

7th place: “character who thinks ‘beat them up 3 times a day’ is flirting got his man” TRUE

Honestly, this was one of the most entertaining options to watch — both in how its placement in the poll changed, and the chaos it somehow wrought among actual Scum Villain fans in the notes.

Besties… I can’t believe you forgot Mobei-jun’s iconic “love advice”. I can’t believe you thought this was about Liu Qingge. (Also I’m pretty sure someone thought this was about Binghe and said they’ll fight me if I claim this option is true. They get a free pass however because I think being ready to rip throats for Binghe is about the sexiest quality a Scum Villain fan can have.)

Anyway — yeah, this happened. Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua, a.k.a. MoShang, are a canon side couple. 

Sorry to the 287 of our voters (4.6%) who were like ‘i hope the fuck not?!’. In Mobei-jun’s defense, he is a demon born and raised, and that’s a ~Demon Culture Thing~. Also, more than a few things happened between him saying that with his full chest and riding into the sunset with his love interest. (Well, the love interest was riding; Mobei was pulling the cart.) And he had an unfair advantage of being his love interest’s literal ideal man… but more on this later.

6th place: “character played hot potato with his own half-naked corpse” TRUE

This option has suddenly pulled ahead of its closest competitor at around 4500 votes, but for what? Despite what 295 of voters (4.7%) thought, this also happened in Scum Villain. Sometimes you (a transmigrator) set up a spare body for yourself because you think the protagonist is going to kill you. And then you die (not via getting murdered). And then you come back to life in a new body. And find out that the protagonist has apparently been keeping your old — dead — body in perfect condition for 5 years in hopes of reviving you. And then during a comedy-of-errors-esque sequence of events you end up catching your own dead body, the clothes on which have come undone. And you understandably freak out and toss it to someone else. as if it was a hot potato.

5th place: “3 different demons made one character drink their blood on 5 separate occasions” TRUE

So first, I guess, I need to explain what’s the deal with the demon blood. A particular subset of demons, called heavenly demons, have a unique ability to manipulate their blood, even when it’s outside their bodies. And, importantly, inside someone else’s. This can be used to track the person down, to hurt them, to heal them… (And for sex, actually, but somebody has neglected to mention this to our half-demon ML.)

Anyway, there are three heavenly demons around, and all had made Shen Qingqiu drink their blood once or twice. No, the blood doesn’t have an expiration date — but since he happened to change bodies a couple of times… 

So, to the 319 people (5.1%) who thought the blood drinking was either too weird or too normal to be true: nope, our MC is the world champion in demon blood chugging.

4th place: “character's dad is a fan of a famous porn ballad starring his son and son-in-law” TRUE

Despite the fervent hopes of 5.6% of voters (351 of them!), this one is also true.

You see, the main couple’s unhinged behaviors have captivated certain creative minds, and so there’s a ballad about them. That is very popular. And very horny. In fact it’s deadass explicit RPF.

And it just so happens that Luo Binghe’s absentee demon father (in his defense, he was imprisoned under the mountain) (not to defend him too much though, once he comes back he’s a total jerk to his son), Tianlang-jun, is a huge aficionado of human culture. Books, plays, songs, you name it. And he has an especial fondness for raunchy romances. You know, exactly like a porny ballad that just so happens to be about his son and his son’s crush.

Which is how our MC ends up in a situation where his uh-it’s-complicated’s dad asks him “have you slept with my son?” and he’s like “what? no” and the dad just starts humming a song that’s about them fucking. His life is so difficult (schadenfreude). 

✨✨✨

Whew, so far so good, right? We only have the top 3 left, and the false option hasn't come up yet! And yeah, I gotta say, for a book as wild as SVSSS, the fact that six options were correctly identified as more likely to have happened than the fake one is already big. Good job!

Though, I regret to tell you, that’s where our lucky streak ends. So, allow me to present…

3rd place: “a succubus fortune teller told MC at least 5 men are in love with him” FALSE

Wait, you might say, but haven’t you defended this option before? I have, but only from the accusation that the number in it is somehow false. Excuse you, I have counted the men several times to be sure!.. that the number adhered to the popular fanon.

The story behind this option is that I thought long and hard to come up with something wild enough to match the energy of the book. In the end, I used something that happened in canon as base, spiced it up with something from fanon readings, and mashed it together in a way that (I thought) would be obvious to any reader as blatantly false — but could still snag a few unsuspecting dash osmosis in-laws. What I learned was that the SVSSS fandom didn’t read the extras enough times.

Okay, so What Is The Truth!

The truth is: a succubus fortune teller made a divination about MC’s destined partner (not who was in love with him, but rather who he had a red string of fate with), and accurately described the ML to him… without once mentioning that he was a man. (Making her prediction virtually useless to Shen Qingqiu, who at the time ID'd firmly as a straight guy and didn’t even consider this possibility... and also thought that Luo Binghe was the most heterosexual man ever, in view of the oversized harem from the original work.)

So, as you can see, the entire second half of this option was just me bullshitting. If you are one of the 387 voters (6.2%) who caught this — kudos to you!

✨✨✨

This out of the way… time to crown the victors of our ‘he couldn’t Possibly have said that’ tournament.

Without further ado, I present to you: Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu, our unparalleled transmigrator duo!

✨✨✨

2nd place goes to Shen Qingqiu, our beloved main character, with the option “MC told ML that if he was his mom, he would never abort him” (TRUE)

I would love to say it makes sense in context. And, well, it makes some sense in context. But also there are reasons Shen Qingqiu won a “character we most want to study like a bug” tournament against everyone else from all three of the author’s novels a while back, and this line was one of them. (Not even the wildest thing on his resume, tbt, but my favorite weirdo moment of his wasn’t a good fit for the poll.) 

Okay, so the context for this one. At a certain point in the story, the male lead, Luo Binghe, learned that his birth mother had apparently taken the poison that would kill her unborn child (him) — in exchange for her own freedom. He already had abandonment issues up to his ears, and this was yet another thing to chip at his already shaky mental state. Eventually, after A Few More Things piled up, he had a mental breakdown of, ah, potentially world-ending proportions — and that was what it took for Shen Qingqiu to realize how miserable Luo Binghe had been the whole time, and how deeply he was hurt by Shen Qingqiu’s own actions over the course of the novel. So Shen Qingqiu resolved to (finally) take steps to show Luo Binghe that he is loved and wanted. Among other things (yes this is where our least voted option happened too), he did his best to convince Luo Binghe that his birth mother actually wanted him — that she wasn’t trying to abort him, but only took that poison to escape, and must’ve drawn all of its effects into her own body to prevent it from harming her child.

It’s only that… our most special guy decided to start that statement with: “If *I* were her…”

Anyway, as many as 478 of our voters (7.6%) unfortunately didn't believe he could have possibly said that.

✨✨✨

And finally, the 1st place — continuously since as early as 900 votes! — goes to Shang Qinghua with, “character told his love interest to call him ‘daddy’. not for kinky reasons” (TRUE)

All hail the author-god!

Oh, yeah, to explain: Shang Qinghua, a.k.a. Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky, is the second transmigrator — that our MC susses out at about 1/3rd of the story. When confronted, it turns out that he is not just another reader, but in fact the author, stuck in the world of his own novel.

For this reason, he sometimes refers to other characters as his ‘children’ — usually in his head or when talking to his fellow transmigrator.

But then at one point, when he is venting his frustration with a certain demon’s behavior (see 7th place option) to said demon… who also happens to be his most beloved ‘ideal man’ OC… he, among other things, snaps: “I’m your dad! Call me daddy!”

…Meaning, ofc, something like ‘I created you!’ So, yeah — not for kinky reasons. just for totally normal author-god reasons. 

With this, Airplane-bro has swayed 543 voters (8.7%) from the right path! Put it on his list of crimes next to child endangerment.

✨✨✨

Soooo… this is it! This has been a blast. I loved seeing everyone’s responses! Especially non-readers trying to logic out the unlogicable. I love you guys. Read Scum Villain 🫶

okay so since nobody else jumped to make this, here we go

(there's a 'see results' option for those who did read svsss at the end of the poll btw!)

(also i ask humbly to reblog if this poll caught your fancy. because most of my followers are from danmei fandoms and likely have read svsss)

[vodkassassin]

Can I hope for a little cucumber plane ficlet?? If it's eating me this much idk how much it's devouring u. No pressure tho

Dw my darling anon I gotcha back ;3

—

“You remind me of my husband.” Shen Qingqiu says one day, out of the blue, as he’s sipping his tea and watching Shang Qinghua do paperwork.

Shang Qinghua pauses. He lifts his brush up and away from the paper so that no excess ink drops and ruins all his work, and pin his bestie with a hard look.

“I’d hope so?” He says flatly, puzzled. “Because … we are married…. How many husbands do you got, bro?”

“I think the fact that we’re married and you still call me bro is grounds for a divorce,” Shen Qingqiu promptly replies, as usual. “No, I mean, in my last life. Back in… you know. Modern times.”

Shang Qinghua is quiet. Then, “You were… married before?”

“Yeah? I’m a total catch, you’re not special.” Shen Qingqiu scoffs, and then hurriedly adds, before Shang Qinghua has the chance to pull out the Devastating Broken-hearted Puppy Eyes — don’t give him that look. his husband had coined the term, not him — “Shut up, obviously you are or I wouldn’t have married you. But, yes. you’re my second husband. If we’re counting my past life. Which we are.”

“If we’re counting past lives, from before,” Shang Qinghua says slowly, setting aside his brush, “then you’re not my first husband either.”

There is a beat of silence.

“I think I shouldn’t be as surprised as I am to hear that, considering I married you myself here,” Shen Qingqiu says, after a long moment. “But, still. You?”

“What? I’m a catch,” Shang Qinghua defends mockingly, voice dry.

“I know that, shut up,” his husband smacks out at him absently with his fan, a thoughtful look overcoming his face as he stares across the room at the wall. “What was he like, then?”

A little awkwardly, Shang Qinghua shrugs. “Um. Well. You, I guess.”

Shen Qingqiu turns to look at him, eyebrow raised. “You really only have one type, don’t you?”

“You only have one type!” Shang Qinghua raises his hands and gestures air quotes with his fingers. “‘You remind me of my past husband.’ How can I remind you of someone I’m not like? You’re a hypocrite.”

“A hypocrite who is your type.” Shen Qingqiu points out. “What did he do?”

“Nothing, he was a spoiled rich trust fun baby and I had to teach him all about memes so he wouldn’t embarrass me in public. He didn’t know memes, bro, can you believe it? Lived under a rock before I saved him. At least you know about memes.”

“I’m glad I’m apparently a step up from your last marriage.” Shen Qingqiu says, dry as a desert.

“What did your husband do?”

Shen Qingqiu pats at his lips with the folded end of his fan. It’s a tiny fidget but it’s a cute as hell habit and Shang Qinghua loves watching him. “He was still going to college, when I died. Majoring in business and management. He did something on the side to make some extra cash because he refused to let me carry us with the money I got from my parents, but he’d never tell me what it was.”

“Oh.” Shang Qinghua says. He picks up his brush again, fully intending to return to the report he was marking over, when he stops. Sets the brush back down. “Wait.”

“Hm?” Shen Qingqiu blinks at him, head tilted. Adorable as hell. Shang Qinghua shakes his head slowly.

“Bro.” He says. “Husband. Love of my life, of my — What, might I ask, was your name? Back then?”

The slow and idle flapping of Shen Qingqiu’s fan slows to a stop. “What?”

“Just — Just humor me.”

“Okay,” his husband — his husband, wait wait wait, his??? Husband??? — says, slowly, like he thinks he’s stupid. “Shen Yuan.”

Shang Qinghua picks up his calligraphy brush and throws it across the room. It paints a long, thin black line down the wall. He picks up the ink stone and chucks it after it for good measure.

“Ummm, Airplane, what—?”

“Bitch!” He says, pointing a finger at his fucking husband accusingly. “We’re both stupid!”

“Um, slut? Don’t insult me without telling me why!”

“My name back then,” Shang Qinghua wails, tugging uselessly on his own bangs, “it was Shang Lei!”

Shen Qingqiu — Shen Goddamn Yuan — blinks. And then he splutters.

“Fucking what!” He shrieks.

“I married you,” Shang Qinghua groans, bending over to slam his face into his desk, and likely getting the ink he had painstakingly brushed over the report smeared all over his face, “twice!”

It takes a while, all afternoon and evening really, for the both of them to finally calm down. They’re still mindblown when they cuddle up in bed that night, but when Shen Yuan curls in to stick the frozen tip of his nose to Shang Qinghua’s neck like the icy bitch he is and always has been, he sighs.

“It’s gotta mean something, that in an entirely new universe we still ended up together without actually meaning to.” He says, and Shang Qinghua can feel the man’s smile against his skin as he wraps his arms around him. “Are we in a goddamn soulmate fanfic or something?”

“Aw, babe,” Shang Qinghua nuzzles downward and peppers his husband’s face with kisses. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me!”

“Don’t fucking tell anyone.”

“Nobody would believe me even if I did!”

“What’s that suppose to mean?!”

[doumekiss]

doumekiss 2022 fanfics masterlist

A Song of Ice and Fire

- Five Queens Robb Stark could have had - Oneshot (Multiple pairings)

- right where you are, that's where I am   - Oneshot (Ashara/Elia)

- Persona - 1/? (Sansa/Mya)

- Nice to see you again - 2/2 (Lyanna and Howland)

- Beyong Duty - Oneshot (Stannis/Catelyn)

- I know places we can hide - Oneshot (Sansa/Mya)

- Against The Tides - Oneshot (Daenerys/Doreah)

- Keeping The Oath - Oneshot (Lyanna/Howland)

.

Anne with an E

- I’m only me when I’m with you - Oneshot (Anne/Diana)

.

Black Swan

- and in the end in wonderland we both went mad - Oneshot (Lily/Nina)

.

Cobra Kai

- be good to me, it isn't a game - Oneshot (Lawrusso)    

.

Community

- Going Gray - Oneshot (Britta/Frankie)

.

Euphoria

- I think I've seen this film before - Oneshot (Rue/Jules)

.

Ghost World

-are you really ready to grow up already ?  - Oneshot (Enid/Rebecca)

.

Greek Mythology

- born to die - Oneshot (Apollo and Hector)

.

IT

- Three times 'cause you waited your whole life - 2/? (Reddie)

.

Jennifer’s Body

- Prom Song (Gone Wrong) - Oneshot (Jennifer/Needy) 

.

Kevin Can Fuck Himself

- and you can use my skin to bury secrets in - Oneshot (Patty/Allison)

.

Kinou Nani Tabeta (What did you eat yesterday?)

- Boyfriend - Oneshot (Kenji/Shirou)

.

Little Women

- Seeing and Been Seen - Oneshot (Amy/Laurie)

.

Lucifer

- Date Night - Oneshot (Maze/Eve)

.

Maleficent

- I Only See You - Oneshot (Maleficent/Aurora)

.

Mean Girls

- honey I rose up from the dead I do it all the time - Oneshot (Regina/Janis)

- Ghosts of Past Girlfriends - Oneshot (Regina/Janis)

- what a rainy ending given to a perfect day - Oneshot (Regina/Janis)

.

Merlin

- tried to change the ending peter losing wendy - Oneshot (Morgana/Gwen)

.

Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint

- Inside Your Head - 32/? (Joongdok)

- All my roads lead to you - Oneshot (Joongdok)

- patch you up - Oneshot (Joongdok)

- maybe I just wanna be yours - Oneshot (Joongdok)

- That Classic Two-Person Love Triangle - Oneshot (Joongdok)

- Stuff Kids Ask - Oneshot (Kim Dokja, Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung)

- one more variable - Oneshot (Joongdok)

.

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

- Social Lubricants - Oneshot (Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua)

- I wanna be your endgame - Oneshot (Moshang)

- Marriage Announcement - Oneshot (Moshang, Bingqiu)

.

Squid Game

- Lilac - 33/33 (Sangihun)

- any comfort - Oneshot (Saebyeong)

- 213 days - 2/2 (Saebyeong)

- Back to The Start - 5/? (Sangihun)

- Living with the Consequences - 4/? (Sangihun)

- Unnie - 1/? (Sangihun)

- Haunted Places - Oneshot (Sangwoo and Saebyeok, Sangihun)

.

Stardew Valley

- If it’s the right person - Oneshot (Penny/Female Farmer)

 - Worth Keeping - Oneshot (Haley/Leah)

- Special Requests - Oneshot (Shane/Female Farmer)

.

Steven Universe

- and everytime I close my eyes it's like a dark paradise   - Oneshot (Jaspis)

.

The Magicians

- White & Red - Oneshot (Fen/Margo)

.

The Untamed

- only mine, only yours - 2/? (Xuexiao)

- half agony, half hope - 11/? (Chengqing)

- you and I are a story that never gets told - Oneshot (Chengqing)

.

Thoroughbreds

- what once was ours is no one's now - Oneshot (Amanda/Lily)

  .

Xena Warrior Princess

- Threshold - Oneshot (Xena/Gabrielle)

.

xxxHolic

- divorce day - Oneshot (Doumeki and Kohane, Douwata)

- Things you say only in the dark  - Oneshot (Douwata)

- An interesting Theory - Oneshot (Watanuki and Yuuko, Douwata, Watahima)

- you’re my waterloo - 2/2 (Douwata)

- Asking him out - Oneshot (Douwata)

- Pictures of You - 3/? (Douwata)

- Just eat your cake - Oneshot (Douwata)

- Commitment - Oneshot (Douwata)

.

Yellowjackets

- all I know is everything has changed - Oneshot (Lottielee)

- and I never wanted anything from you (except everything you had and what was left after that too) - Oneshot (Shauna/Jackie)

- eden - Oneshot (Lottielee)

- Truth or Dare - Oneshot (Lottielee)

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

I don't understand how are people who say "Shen Jiu was so horrible that the Peak Lords were happy to have him replaced" when, with the slag that the Peak Lords are, is that nothing special? Like, why would that be humiliating? Literally in An Ding Peak disciples die every mission, Peak Xian Shu should have a harassment problem but instead Qi Qingqi's main disciple writes the worst case of objectification in the whole novel, Bai Zhan doesn't have Shizun or Dashixiong, Mu QingFang was useless and all his work was done by demons. Their Peaks didn't even survive in PIDW. And were they still shit with Shen Yuan anyway? How exactly does leave a bunch of cultivator disciples to a amnesiac person make someone believe that they are decent people? Could all have died for that stupidity. I don't understand what part made them believed they shouldn't help someone with amnesia. They were also unable to stop mentioning Shen QingQiu's late cultivation when supposedly believed that he didn't remember. They weren't even good with Shen Yuan, I have no idea where people get that supposed good relationship when all they did was think on themselves. There's nothing strange that people like that don't care somebody

YES! Thank you!!

These people quite literally said fuck all about most things. We’re they strong, yes to get to where they are. But oh my GOSH the choices they made were so stupid I started questioning xianxia sects from other books!! Like “?? Is this normal??”

LQG literally died from a Qi deviation. It’s no ones fault but his own. This isn’t victim blaming he literally died because he was in this blind Qi deviation!

YQY is so incompetent his Shizun should SMACK him in the next life. He fucked EVERYTHING up because he couldn’t LISTEN. He literally refused to listen and follow with people’s simple options for simple problems and ultimately made everything worse!!

SY has to be the luckiest lil bastard in history. He too was useless because all he focused on was LBH to save his own skin. This absolute tool did fuck all with the other disciples. Fuck all aside from ogling “future wives” and had the nerve to assume SQQ was a predator when he was EYING UP LMY!!!

The only person that made any sense was GYx and HES A SIDE CHARACTER! Everyone else can burn in hell they were useless and if I had to be forgotten by people like them I would GLADLY do the Cha cha in hell. These same fuckwads would rather bully and harass their own fellow disciple and ignore when something is clearly wrong with him, than put in the effort to build a relationship. Their sects were going to burn with or without LBH they just got lucky no one was around long enough to see their disgraceful end

Gosh, the PLs and SY make me so angry when I think about their wasted potential.. (well except SY he just annoys me that people love him so much and slander SJ whom is the lesser of all evils in PIDW SQH IS A FUCKING MURDERER and LQG ABUSES SO MANY DISCIPLES but no one wants to listen to that ❤️)

[anachronismstellar]

Oh hello hi 👀

I can't draw to save my life but I can offer this:

---

Shen Qingqiu began to question his sanity as soon as Shang Qinghua, of all people, arrived at his house with Lue Binghe chasing his shadow as if competing to get to him first. Nothing outside Binghe normal behavior, considering his husband need for attention. But what really sold him on the idea of going slowly crazy was the fact that both of them were crying.

"Shizun I can explain-"

"Bro- I mean Shen-Shixiong- it wasn't my fault I swear, I told him-"

They both kept their babbling, talking over one another, doing their worst to explain how they got a face full of pollen from a weird flower that Lue Binghe wanted to show him. He vaguely recalled Binghe telling him that he would bring a surprise for him, a rare instance when his husband left his side. He got suspicious, but he could use the alone time to read a yellow book hidden under a fake drawer, so he didn't complain much. Served him right, now he had to deal with this mess.

"Slow down, both of you, what flower? Where?"

He didn't want to sound angry, really! Maybe he was a bit exasperated, yes, but he just wanted to stop their tears! His heart couldn't take Binghe crying, and if Mobei Jun ever found his- uh- whatever Shang Qinghua was to Mobei Jun nowadays- crying on his house, he knew his walls would be torn apart.

Unfortunately his voice might have been to harsh, because instead of calming themselves, they started to cry even harder, both mirroring each other, down to the trembling lips and big gasps of air.

It would be funny if all the tears didn't make him so anxious. At some point they both started hiccuping at the same time, which then struck him.

Holy shit they are like father like son.

Holy shit, Shang Qinghua was technically his father in law what the fuck that was supposed to be just a joke, what the fuck-

"Calm down, both of you, calm down!" He snapped, unable to deal with their noise and his earth shattering revelation. "Binghe, go make some tea for me, huh?"

"But Shizun-"

"Now, now, I'm not angry, I promise, and tea will help me understand things better, yes? It will calm everyone down," he forced himself to smile as he grabbed Shang Qinghua by the back of his robes, dragging him away from the kitchen. "I just have to ask something to your shishu, don't worry about it."

Binghe, as always, was unable to say no to him, just hugged him tight before rushing to the kitchen, not even glaring at Shang Qinghua as he normally would. Shen Qingqiu waited until they both heard the sounds of pan and porcelain clicking before turning to look as his fellow transmigrator, shaking him before dropping on one of his cushions.

"Okay bro, start talking, and this better be good or I'll stick Binghe on you."

Shang Qinghua's face did something that, again, was too much like Binghe for comfort, as he explained that they both had been poisoned by one of his many plot hole plants, but thankfully one that the cure wasn't hard to come by. Shen Qingqiu half listed, mind still whirling from the father/son connection, glaring at Shang Qinghua, and thinking, once more, how all his problems were connected to his moron of a friend.

At some point Mobei Jun arrived as well, his icy glare directed at Shen Qingqiu when Shang Qinghua screamed "My kiiing", running to hug the demon's thighs. He glared back, of course. Although he had to hide his face using his fan when Binghe entered the room, also crying, immediately hugging him by his waist.

They would be fine, their post canon struggles were mostly harmless anyway. They would find the cure for the flower, ignore all this mess and move on.

And then he would erase any thoughts of calling Shang Qinghua "father in law" from his mind.

Yes, good plan.

---

Hope you like it! :D

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Like father, like son...

[v-katsuki]

masterlist of my fanfics

✿ ao3 | writing tag ✿

✿ masterlist of my mdzs fics | masterlist of my tgcf fics | masterlist of my yoi fics ✿

you can find the rest of my posted fics (not enough to be included in fandom-specific masterlists) down below ⇩

fandoms: haikyuu!!, scum villain's self-saving system, word of honor, witch hat atelier, kaiju no. 8, link click

what to expect: canon divergences, aus, mutual pining, slice of life, fluff, angst, humor

— HAIKYUU!! —

pairings: iwaoi (2), background relationships

✿ Say you'll stay by my side [WIP]

→ iwaoi, background pairings | rated M | 10.6k words | written for HQBB 2017 [art]

Oikawa Tooru is one of the best wedding planners in Japan. He has the talent to make the most impossible sounding wishes reality to make his clients happy, but no amount of expertise and talent have prepared him for his biggest challenge yet: planning his own wedding.

✿ As we rise and we fall

→ iwaoi | rated M | 10.7k words | ⚠ references to homophobia, depression and suicide | written for HQBB 2018 [art]

Tooru goes to sleep on Thursday night.

—

Tooru wakes up on Thursday morning.

(Or; Oikawa Tooru gets trapped in a time loop.)

— SCUM VILLAIN'S SELF SAVING SYSTEM —

pairings: liushen, gen, background relationships

✿ unexpected cohabitation 

→ liushen + a dash of moshang | rated T | 9.5k words

Shen Yuan still can’t believe he hated a novel so much he somehow managed to manifest, out of fucking nowhere, a character from it right in the middle of his bedroom. (or; Liu Qingge transmigrates to modern times. Shen Yuan didn’t sign up for that.)

✿ monsters... but not really

→ gen | rated G | 2.1k words | written for Body in Abyss, Heart in Furby: an MXTX furby zine

“Is that one of the vicious beasts that terrorize this place?” Shen Qingqiu asks. “Yes.” Liu Qingge’s posture is taut, all set to spring into action. In contrast, Shen Qingqiu relaxes and takes a step forward. “It’s dangerous!” Liu Qingge exclaims, his hand hovers over Shen Qingqiu’s arm, ready to drag him back if he dares to move closer to the creature. Shen Qingqiu sighs. “That’s a furby, Liu-shidi.” (Or; Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge go on a quest and they encounter furbies. That's it, that's the fic.)

✿ Because friends help friends.

→ liushen | rated T | 2.2k words

Liu Qingge shows up at Shen Qingqiu’s door with a gift for him and a wound on his arm.

— WORD OF HONOR —

pairings: wenzhou

✿ the only one i want to take home

→ wenzhou | rated E | 3.1k words

“Hello, stranger. Is this seat taken?” And that’s how Zhou Zishu’s peaceful and relaxing night only lasted for twenty minutes at most before getting better.

— WITCH HAT ATELIER —

pairings: gen, orufrey, arkco

✿ The Magic of Friendship

→ gen | rated G | 1.3k words

The girls make friendship bracelets.

✿ your hand in mine, so tight

→ orufrey | rated G | 3.2k words

Olruggio surprised Qifrey when he appeared at his door one evening and said in a serious, honest voice: “I want you to visit my hometown.” The proposition was shocking enough since Olruggio never talked about his hometown, let alone invited someone there. So, Qifrey lowered his pen, ignoring the few splotches of ink that fell on his blank paper, and closed his books. “If that’s what you want, I’d be honored to visit, Olly,” he replied with a smile. make friendship bracelets.

✿ The Breeze Carries Something Sweet

→ arkco | rated G | 4k words

Curious about who could have sent her a letter, Coco unfolds the paper, reads it, and then reads it again, trying to make sense of the words: ‘Dear Coco. Your smile is as bright and blinding as the sun. I can’t look at it for long, but I still wish to see it every day.’ (or; Coco has a secret admirer.)

— KAIJU NO. 8 —

pairings: naruhoshi

✿ when it’s all about you

→ naruhoshi | rated T | 1.9k words

The Narumi was not enjoying the party at all. Living to see another day and another battle was not really the problem. The problem was sitting on the other side of the table, enjoying the sukiyaki and basking in the praise.

✿ definitely not a maybe

→ naruhoshi | rated T | 2.5k words

In which Narumi has a free day, goes out into the city, and ends up having a maybe-date with his rival. 

✿ Breathing Room

→ naruhoshi | rated T | 1.2k words

Hoshina and Narumi end up in the medical wing at the same time. They reflect on duty.

— LINK CLICK —

pairings: gen, shiguang

✿ A Glimpse of Sunlight

→ gen + implied shiguang | rated G | 2k words

In which nothing bad happens and they have a cat.

✿ a closet full of clothes you love

→ gen | rated G | 1.1k words

The last time Qiao Ling had glanced at Cheng Xiaoshi's closet, it had been pretty much empty and almost entirely in shades of gray, perhaps because Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t have much money from his sporadic part-time jobs to spend on nice clothes. (or; Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi talk about fashion.)

✿ Hold me when I fall away from the lines

→ shiguang | rated T | 3.4k words

Three times Lu Guang is openly affectionate with Cheng Xiaoshi because he knows too much. — Three times Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t know the reason why Lu Guang is so affectionate lately.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes.

DC

Send to All by kerosceene

I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”). - the bats have a sex pollen release form. because of course they do.

My Brother's Keeper by Chemical_Processes

Tim gets hit with Fear while on a league mission, and it's Damian's job to get him home in one piece.

Statute of Limitations by Oka_Hills1232

Captain Marvel has been in the game for a decade now. He's very likeable, everyone agrees on this, but that's about the only thing anyone can say about him. For however friendly he seems, he's never really talked about his life outside of the cape. That is, until today.

The Justice League has just learned something rather alarming about their enigmatic colleague Captain Marvel. They really need to talk to him about it, the problem is, he's very hard to get ahold of… Billy's just here to enjoy himself and revel in the big reveal, after all, it's not like anyone can stop him now.

Scum Villain Self-Saving System

Subversion by feelslikefire

Shen Qingqiu encounters Luo Binghe two years early in a brothel in Jin Lan City. Upon seeing his once most beloved disciple, Shen Qingqiu promptly starts coughing up flower petals. (Again.)

Then things get worse.

* * * * *

Or: I wondered, "What would happen if I smashed truth pollen and hanahaki disease together as tropes?" This is the result.

My Hero Academia

i fell heavy (into your arms) by sundefeater lou (sundefeater) for EyesofftheMaud

He could see him though. His cheeks were round with baby fat, his eyes unshadowed, but he was unmistakably his Toshinori. Even before he'd gotten the weakly mumbled confirmation of the other's name he'd known. He could see Toshinori in the child's eyes, the deep blue gaze watery and afraid but so achingly familiar; he could feel it in his bones, where One for All sang and reached for the remnants of ashes that should have been there, but weren't.

Or: Izuku has always been a dutiful son. All Might suddenly being younger than Eri isn't going to change that.

Cataclysm by xylophones

Part 2 of Despite Your Good Intentions

Opinion Editorial • Tokyo Times Hero Intern Deku: Our Next Savior, or the Catalyst of Hero Society’s Downfall? By Yumoto Ryobe Like • Comment • Share It’s been a month since Hosu City was rocked with attacks from the newest villain group, the League of Villains, and Hero Intern Deku’s (unranked) takedown of the serial killer Stain, his first S ranked villain arrest. Pro Hero media is a mess of differing opinions on Deku, ranging from idolization to condemnation. Fan clubs and hate clubs alike have popped up online. Despite his rousing speech in Hosu and his call to action, Deku has been notably absent from the public eye in any meaningful way. With tensions high and no word from the one at the heart of all the chaos, the question must be asked: just what the hell is Hero Intern Deku doing? (Honestly? His best.)

Stranger Things

Actually Me - Eddie Munson by Savi_Yoi

This idea was bouncing around my brain at 3am so I just had to write it down.

Eddie is a famous musician. Gaining fame through the 90s with Corroded Coffin. Him and Steve have been together since 1987, but they were always very private about their relationship. Steve is like a cryptid in the Corroded Coffin fandom, with very little information about him, and very few pictures. Eddie is promoting a solo album in 2021, and Steve is pulled on camera to do a silly interview with him. They're about 54/55 in this fic.

This is the transcript of that interview.

The Tunnels of Bel'Mar by neuronary

“Shit,” Wheeler said, realisation dawning across his face. “Fucking tunnels, shit!” “Seriously, dude?” Sinclair said. “You just clocked? He’s been freaking out all week and you only just realised.” “It’s Dustin!” Wheeler protested. “I thought he was just… being Dustin!”

Or, a dungeon Eddie designs freaks Dustin out a little bit too much. He doesn't get an explanation.

[delicioussshame]

I blame people expressing interest in this series. You know who you are.

For those who are not those people, have this SY’s pov that’s a direct sequel to this, which is itself a sequel to this. There’s also this one. It’s Shencest.

“Why didn’t you let me die?” Wouldn’t that have been better for them both? Shen Yuan would certainly have preferred that to being forcefully outed as the kind of pervert who, upon meeting his doppelganger, decides to fuck them.

Kill is obviously the superior option.

Shen Qingqiu doesn’t twitch. “It wasn’t an option. Liu Qingge would have done it, and I refuse to let him touch my body.”

Shen Yuan flushes at the idea. Liu Qingge? Shen Qingqiu must have misunderstood. Liu Qingge seems like the type that would wait to get married before having sex.

He might have done it to save Shen Yuan’s life though. He’s the sacrificing type.

Oh well, better to have shamed himself than having forced unwanted sex on Liu Qingge, probably.

Time to disappear and never come back.

Or he would if that was an option. First, he’s not well enough to do it. He’d fall off of his sword. Second, that would leave Shen Qingqiu the sole peak lord of Qing Jing Peak, and Shen Yuan isn’t ready to let that happen. He doesn’t think he could live with himself if he let Ming Fan return to the mean little bootlicker he was in the book, or if Shen Qingqiu’s continued existence gave birth to a second Luo Binghe, mistreated and underestimated.

He never thought his choice to remain would go down well, but he never, not even once, expected it would result in him and Proud Immortal Demon Way’s main nemesis doing… the things they are doing. How could he have expected it? He still doesn’t understand why he lets it happen. It’s just… Every time someone calls him Shizun, that wasn’t really him they were calling. Every time someone treats him with respect, it’s respect for the body he’s living in and the skills its previous owner had honed, nothing Shen Yuan himself had done. He’s used Shen Qingqiu’s standing for all it was worth without a second thought for the one who had earned said standing. Could he really tell Shen Qingqiu, the real Shen Qingqiu, that he couldn’t do whatever he wished with his own body, the body Shen Yuan stole from him? Even if he didn’t choose to do it, Shen Yuan’s arrival in this world still had killed Shen Qingqiu early. From a much less painful death, certainly, but still early, early enough that he wasn’t guilty yet of his worst transgressions.

He hopes Liu Qingge won’t ask for explanations when he visits tomorrow. He could never explain this to a man like him.

“Mu Qingfang said you needed to rest.  Go to bed.”

Yeah, no. As much as it hurts him to recall the fog of lust and pain that had overwhelmed him, he can’t deny he’s still wearing its remnants on his skin. He feels gross. “I’m taking a bath first.”

“I’m coming with you.”

It’s not a request. Very few things Shen Qingqiu say are.

Anyway, Shen Yuan is too tired to argue with him. If Shen Qingqiu wants to follow him into the bath, Shen Yuan won’t say a word, especially if he takes care of preparing it, or, more likely, gets Ming Fan to do it for him.

_________

The hands travelling on his skin, identical to his in every way, aren’t mean. They tend to linger where they left marks, but they don’t press on them the way they sometimes do, to make sure the marks remain as long as possible.

Maybe it’s to differentiate them.

Maybe it’s to make it clear whose body this is.

Today, they only wash him; without excessive tenderness, but without the expected anger.

Shen Yuan wonders what Shen Qingqiu is thinking. If he was right, he should have let Liu Qingge take care of him instead of unveiling their sordid affair. How will he deal with it?

Then again, Shen Yuan suspects Mu Qingfang and Yue Qingyuan will understand how delicate the situation is, and thus will take that secret to the grave. As for Liu Qingge, he’s not the type to gossip. If Shen Yuan asks him to keep silent, he will. He’s a man of his word.

They must be repulsed. Who would sleep with one’s double? Who could be so vain? Nothing good can come out of this.

Shen Yuan feels his eyes close as the warm water lulls him to sleep. The day has been demanding. He is deeply, profoundly tired.

His arm is being grabbed. A second later, he’s being forcefully pulled out of the water. “Don’t sleep here.”

Shen Yuan nods, trying to stay awake long enough for the towel to do its job.

He half-consciously goes for what used to be Binghe’s room. Most of the time, he isn’t willing to fight Shen Qingqiu for the main bedchamber. This is certainly one of those times.

Again, Shen Qingqiu refuses to let him go, instead dragging him into his, their, bedroom.

Shen Yuan ends up staring at the ceiling, as far from Shen Qingqiu as he can be without falling off the bed.

“You could have killed me.”

Shen Yuan understand that what Shen Qingqiu means is you could have killed my body. “We can die every day.” He was out with Liu Qingge. Death is always a possibility. A very distant one, because he doesn’t think Liu Qingge would let anything happen to him, but his presence is usually accompanied with that of deadly beasts, so.

“You’re not allowed to die away from me.”

Not from my hand, maybe? Not where Shen Qingqiu could not repossess the body he was born with?

If Shen Yuan were to die, he would want Shen Qingqiu to take the body back. It is his, after all. “I won’t.”

“You’d better, or you will regret it.”

How could I? I’d be dead.

Then again, if anyone knows how not final death can be, it’s Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan doesn’t answer, preferring to let sleep steal him away from Shen Qingqiu’s strange insistence and his stranger, unblinking stare.