#she's so gender to me
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Forever thinking about how much Erzsebet's shit got rocked when she hit puberty and started presenting as a woman. Like you've been raised as a boy your whole life, then all of a sudden someone is saying "No, that's not right." And then you still have these things you want to do like hunting and wrestling and riding but you're told that the things you love to do are now inappropriate. You're not considered as capable anymore for no other reason except for your gender presentation changing. You're suddenly being sexualized by the world around you, and even your childhood frenemy, who is having a pretty hard time with this adjustment as well, is treating you differently in this way. So you try to settle in, and you do embrace femininity in ways that make you happy. You get to be the big sister, you wear your pretty dresses and ribbons, you work at being more gentle. But there is always a part of you that doesn't fit that mold quite right, little quirks you still have and interests you still long for, that society quickly picks up on and judges. And even if you're content in your femininity, you will always be haunted by how it was thrust upon you rather than fully chosen.
#hetalia#heta meta#hws hungary#my thoughts#i think all of the ladies have interesting relationships with their femininity but erzsebet's is especially thought-provoking#she's so gender to me#like she experienced that shift adolescent girls experience but x100 that had to have been traumatizing#it's no wonder gilbert aka one of the few people who still accepts her regardless and wants her to have what she used to#and the equally gender-fucking poland (like i use fem!pol but you know she was also fucking around with her presentation)#are some of her closest friends
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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Zutara makes a statement.
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#atla fanart#prince zuko#zutara au#atla art#zutara fanart#zutara art#zuko x katara#fire lord zuko#katara x zuko#Female Zuko#Male Katara#katara art#katara fanart#katara of the southern water tribe#Yuri Zutara#Sapphic Zutara#Yaoi Zutara#genderbent au#love is love#crossroads of destiny#Help I fell in love with female Zuko. She's gorgeous.#This was so fun to do! I really wanted to see if I could keep their recognizable facial features while drawing them as the opposite gender#I've been thinking about their dynamic lately and how it's one of the things I love the most about them.#Drawing them like this was so important to me. It made me realize that I ship Zutara just as they are; but also as a wlw or mlm couple#Their dynamic their individual personalities their chemistry their connection—love is love no matter the shape it takes
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anyone out there who enjoys both Bive and The Smiler i’m boutta summon all of you cuz I MADE A SMILER INSPIRED BIVE AVATAR MUAHAHAHAHAA
#she’s so me bro it’s insane#hey guys this is my gender#regretevator#regretevator bive#bive#bive regretevator#smiler#the smiler#alton towers#roblox#is this an oc??? nah…….#okay no oc tag#i saw someone’s art of a smiler inspired bive the other day and had an aneurism /pos#roblox avatar#my user is berserrkerrr follow me on roblox i wanna get to 1k grrrrr#i used to have 1k but over 100 accounts got banned so i’m stuck at like 930 sumn sobs#ignore the double glasses on her i wanted to use the smaller ones to add the bridge area cuz the big glasses didn’t have it#pretend it’s only that one pair of glasses#the round ones#yea
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he didn't stand a chance <3
original/inspo!!
#this is a redraw of a redraw from 2018 congrats if you've seen the original but it's crunchy and im not reposting it#anyways. he's so weak for her it's stupid. down so bad it's actually insane. worships the ground she walks on fr.#i can only enjoy m/f ships if the m is pathetically obsessed#m/f used liberally btw they're giant monsters gender is irrelevant they're yuri and yaoi to me#mosugoji#mothzilla#godzilla#mothra#kaiju#my art
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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The Quest Continues...
(part 1- part 2)
#Fourfold Soul#<- That's the title of the project I've been working on!#I am very excited to finally show off the cowboy (gender redacted) I've been cooking in a slow boil!!! Yeehaw!#Yes this is the game project. YES I am commited to the bit of having the main character go through a long running pronoun-quest.#This character does not have a name so I cannot formally tag them...#(Okay. Technically they have an internal name for coding/scripting reasons...and I have a nickname for them.#But the important part of making a video game character you get to eventually name is that the name must come from *you*!)#The girl here is a npc so she has a temporary name. So I also cannot tag her. Hmm...#I have several FFS comics thumbnailed out. This one got made first because it's the funniest without context. Lore wise it's weak.#I would love to post the sexy clown but you have to wait just a few more comics.#Fun artist woes moment to share: This is the first time I've had to colour these characters traditionally. *That* was NOT fun.#Going from a specific digital colour palette to being at the whims of my limited colour choices in markers? Hell! On! Earth!#I might also be extra frustrated because this sure is 3x the length of what I usually do for comics! I spent a Whole Day on this.#Past me thought it was soooo funny and needed all the extra panels for pacing. I hate past me. That guy needs to be exploded.
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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The world isn’t ready for my alpha kid readings.
#jane crocker#jake english#roxy lalonde#dirk strider#homestuck#alpha kids#Jane is the struggler don’t you EVER contest that#many might argue it’s Jake but he doesn’t struggle inherently#usually he just vibes until he’s forced into situations wherein he struggles#Jane struggles from the beginning#her entire arc is a struggle#also had to change it from “the fujoshi” mostly cause I don’t like that and also cause it’s not as versatile as the other labels#I don’t actually think Dirk is boring btw i just think that when put up against his friends he has a lot less complexity going on#like his arc is fairly simple as opposed to Jane and Jake’s#and even Roxy’s#His problems seem inherently a lot more straight forward to me simply because he’s articulate enough to realize he has problems#Jane and Jake are almost there#problems are like on the tip of their tongues#and Roxy is kinda like the John of the team where she isn’t even gonna acknowledge the possibility of problems#girl is like “problems? haha not me#I’m the put together one in this group :)”#and just ignores all her internalized misogyny and heteronormativity#she is a mirror to Vriska in that they both put a lot of emphasis on preforming romanticism as a means of affirming their gender#anyway my alpha kid readings are way too boring so I feel like nobody would really be interested in them Sighhhh
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mario + peach is such a good ship istg they’re so good. straight ship so good it feels gay
#smb#mario#princess peach#idk what their ship name is 🫡#mario x peach#no id#giddly’s art#please ignore the goofy side angle i tried. i really did#this is what i get for NEVER using references 🥲#ngl i think peach is bi maybe? but i think mario is just straight. i think he simply loves women#mario is so funny. meet the mustachioed straight cis man and his brother The Fag#bc let’s be real luigi is definitely bi and genderqueer ✋😭 ain’t NO way he don’t have some gender stuff going on#but like. back to mario. i genuinely think he is too lovely and whimsical to NOT treat his bae like the queen she is#he would be such a good lover that people could mistake them for dykes i won’t even lie. just listen. just hear me out#I LIKE THEM OK 💥
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They had a kind of mutual unspoken gender envy situation as kids where Ginger liked doing 'boy stuff' more while Bunny liked doing 'girl stuff'; both of which were strict secrets from their parents ofc . So they hid their toys in each other's rooms and pretended to be into them to cover for each other 🧡 I imagine Bunny was really into mlp or smthn similiar as a lamb and had to ask *Ginger* to ask their parents for an mlp thing for Christmas so their dad wouldn't berate him for wanting a 'girl's toy'
#hoof draws#hoofology#bunny + ginger#also i got really attached to their secretary/nanny type character i made up in 3 seconds#this kinda relationship is special to me idk....#even as kids they have this unspoken 'both of our genders are fucked up and we're not doing it right . so we will cover for each other' thi#g. ginger accompanies Bunny to the store so she can start trying on skirts and such to act like she's the one buying girl clothes#despite being visibly. very butch
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💫Does the end truly justify the means..?⚖️
🦊Overdue fanart of some Dual Destinies and Prosecutor's Gamit characters!!🪶
#im playing apollo 2 and miles edgeworth 2 at the same time so i have lots of people to draw...#SO many good character designs my godddd#apollo justice#ace attorney apollo justice#aa dual destinies#aai2#aai collection#ace attorney investigations#ace attorney miles edgeworth#professor aristotle means#aristotle means#damian tenma#frank sahwit#bodhidharma kanis#bronco knight#fifi laguarde#that femme frank came to me in a vision shes everything to me♡#her face wasnt meant to look smaller or anything thats just how it came out by the end!!#when i make 'genderswaps' or whatever i tend to keep their features the same aside from thinking of how theyd dress/present themselves as--#--the opposite gender or whatever#ace attorney#ace attorney fanart
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The party jokingly calls Steve mom so when Eddie comes along and he and Steve starts actually being friends Eddie becomes dad (because 80s gender rolls)
When they start dating Eddie jokingly calls Steve "his darling wife, Stevie" and other similar things it becomes more and more common and with his love of pet names he never just calls him Steve anymore
So it really isn't his fault that when corroded coffin gets their big break and they're doing their first big interview and the interviewer asks about wives or girlfriends supporting them through their rise to fame Eddie jumps at the chance to talk about his lovely wife Stevie
#i cant decide if its funny#for eddie to immediatly realize his mistake and have to either explain his wife is a man#or use she her pronouns to not out himself and steve#or for him to get so lost in gushing about steve he doesnt realize hes confused thousands of people#because he used he/him pronouns for his wife#steve loves being called eddies wife because to me he always has at least a little bit of gender fuckery#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#rockstar eddie munson
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Addendum to my previous post now that I'm basically done with all of their scenes in the official translation...
Lines that hit real differently if you headcanon eustace/seb as a closeted trans woman / transfem during the events of aai2:
[ fan tl: …you're really not worthy of being called my son. Don't you think? ]
Fan translation only:
#ace attorney#aai2#aai collection#aai2 spoilers#eustace winner#sebastian debeste#yumihiko ichiyanagi#excelsius winner#blaise debeste#the first one especially. like before that point during my 2020? replay i was like just tossing around random headcanon ideas for seb#since at that time i was also just kind of newly exploring transness through making various fave characters Gender.#anyway when i hit that line i just decided then and there. ough. yeah. she's transfem to me now. it just Makes the story#so so so much more thematic and devastating.#headcanon#not art
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#bob's burgers#bobs burgers#louise belcher#tina belcher#manic pixie crap show might have just become my fav ep lmao its made me emotional like 3 times#louise being so torn up and genuine about why shes not girly we love the gender funk of the belcher kids and lindas dog grief oh my god#but this last bit augh#there is literally nothing more healing than your little sister telling you she thinks you're pretty
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Everyone's making Catradora vs Ballister x Ambrosius comparison posts.
All I saw tho?
(Excuse my blinds reflecting on my tv lol)
#its the 'has she/her pronouns but not cis and demanding to be seen correctly' thing for me lol#gender#transgender#trans#it feels so nonbinary or agender to me 💕#💙💖🤍💖💙#💛🤍💜🖤#🖤🩶🤍💚🤍🩶🖤#aunt posting#the good place#janet tgp#janet#nimona movie#nimona 2023#nimona
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