#despite being visibly. very butch

[hoofpeet]

They had a kind of mutual unspoken gender envy situation as kids where Ginger liked doing 'boy stuff' more while Bunny liked doing 'girl stuff'; both of which were strict secrets from their parents ofc . So they hid their toys in each other's rooms and pretended to be into them to cover for each other 🧡 I imagine Bunny was really into mlp or smthn similiar as a lamb and had to ask *Ginger* to ask their parents for an mlp thing for Christmas so their dad wouldn't berate him for wanting a 'girl's toy'

[dykeulous]

one thing in particular that i dislike about non-trans people is the assumption that i, as a transmasc, want to assimilate into normative society & 100% “pass” as a cis man & go through my day-to-day life living as male. i am in general very anti-assimilationist, but my personal reasoning for this goes beyond my general views of assimilation being anti-liberationist at the core. i’m not saying that if i could choose, i would choose this path. i’m not saying i take joy in having to struggle with dysphoria, nor am i saying that transness is “Customize your Character! Build a Personality! Be Funky!” type of thing, nor am i doing whatever spiritual punk social justice thingy the current trans movement is on about. i am simply saying that, despite the fact that i would choose to be born male if i could, i simply have no interest in passing as a normative cishet dude in society. i do not want to be perceived as that, and i have no desire to go through my life living like that. i take pride in being gnc, i take pride in my bond with women & lesbians, i take pride in butch communities. i love forming connections with women & lesbians, without feeling isolated & othered. despite my inner desire to pass as male, i simply would not trade the bond & sisterhood i share with women & lesbians in my life for anything.

i do not shame & blame my fellow transmascs who do want to pass, who want to assimilate & who take measures to do so. not only can it be safer at times & detrimental to the trans person’s mental health & social acceptance, but i also respect the self-determination of each & every trans person & their personal free will. however, i value my connection with butchness & lesbianism, and when i enter female spaces– i do not want to be viewed as a potential threat. i want women to see me, and think, “this person is one of us. this person has gone through what we go through & this person shares our suffering & hardships”. i want to lead the lifestyle of a visibly ftm butch lesbian, and although i am aware of how unsafe & dangerous that can be, and am in no way telling other transmascs they need to follow this path; i need more non-trans people to see my pov, and the pov of many other transmascs– transmedicalism has been proposed as the only “correct” idea of transness for long enough, and we need to put an end to that; someone’s dysphoria isn’t any less real for refusing to assimilate. transmascs have been deeply immersed in butch history, and my desire to pass will never top my love & desire for women.

[verdemoun]

things my "cishet" "neurotypical" 25 year old (has never played a video game in his life) humanities teacher friend has said during his rdr2 playthrough

(dutch going off at bill at the start of revenge is a dish best eaten) well that seemed uncalled for. dutch is. dutch is starting to lose it, huh

visibly upset over having to shoot up the mansion, esp the stained glass windows. loves the double barrel tho.

(dutch going off at bronte) yeah dutch has full lost it. oh! oh! gator! :D DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

only comment during banking the american art: papa hosea noooooo!!

(the diagnosis) ah yes well he’s dead he’s got consumption

(arthur's walk) why is there a moose in saint denis.

"the hot air balloon! first invented in 1793" (demanded i fact check, he was correct)

oh it's like the wizard of oz! there's no place like blackwater, there's no place like blackwater, there's no place like blackwater.

despite having no reaction to the diagnosis, immediately had tears in his eyes screaming ARTURO NOOOOOO as the funny man died

"mrs adler has the sort of perky butchness i can see you being attracted to"

meeting algernon: don’t you dare fucking say that’s me

five seconds into the intro cut scene: oh no he’s me

micah being on scene for any amount of time: i am dryer than the sahara rn.

i asked him to clarify. he paused. proceeded to refer to which characters made his pussy wet/dry for the rest of the evening. has never made this joke before.

thought abigail was the rat during guarma until seeing dutch muttering chess moves to himself. had decided dutch is very much unhinged and no longer trusts anything dutch says.

no idea who the rat is. does believe there's a rat. thought it was john until i said 'no try again'

bought a theatre ticket and missed most of the show admiring the foyer and guessing what sort of marble it was meant to imitate.

failed to steal the black arabian from the couple in saint denis and sulked because the red arabian is his fav.

spent an hour customizing arthur's outfit. (arthur is hideous pls send help)

spent an additional 20 minutes deciding on a hair style and going through every moustache option only to settle on day 2 stubble.

"i like bill. he might be homophobic and racist and dumb but - i don't know i just think he's neat"

(excitedly) OH I FOUND THE KKK QUICK HOW TO I THROW TNT AGAIN!!

(attempting to dismount a horse) "e for eject"

(getting a low honor dream after killing every single npc in strawberry for funsies) oh no oh no i do not like that how do we fix that

annoyed he can't actually listen to pearson's navy stories

[fallhound]

thinking about what you posted a few days ago about not being butch but just a very repressed femme and i think that is me. i wanna be femme so bad but every time i try i just look awful and it makes me dislike myself even more. at least when i do butch i look good.

This ask sat in my inbox for a while, i kept staring at it, trying to think of something coherent. I really wish I had an easy, solid answer, good advice, reassurance, but... I'm still figuring it out myself.

I've spent 7+ years in denial about my gender, truly coming out only last september. Before that, transphobia and homophobia were so so deeply ingrained in me (after growing up in a very non progressive, very roman catholic country) I once had a panic attack buying a pink tshirt in a mall.

The first time I wore a skirt in public was last pride. I went nonverbal very quickly, and despite having an alright time overall I did not wear it for a while after.

Some weeks later I was getting ready to go get a my hair cut. I looked in my closet, saw the skirt, thought about wearing it. The doubt set back in IMMEDIATELY. I put it back down.

As I was running a little late, I went to check if I can afford a short uber ride. That is when I've learnt that my benefits got cut with no prior warning. This was bad news! HOWEVER. the severity of the Bad News was such it actually knocked me out of my overthinking. Who gives a shit if I'm wearing a skirt. How is that even a concern when Im in sudden danger of not being able to afford rent? How is that an issue. How does it matter. Who gives a Fuck.

I got my hair cut in a skirt.

Since then I've all but abandoned pants (partially due to being without income and thus unable to afford new clothes lmao). However! There are still outfits I want to wear but "cannot" Shorter skirts! visible thigh highs! fishnets! anything showing tummy! ANY MAKEUP!! dresses!

It sometimes feels hopeless, like progress is impossible, like there is this wall I simply cannot break through. But so did wearing a skirt. starting hrt. wearing pink. loving myself.

Small steps, large leaps, I wish you all the luck in the world <3

[tomatoluvr69]

It’s so funny to be lazily ambiguous with gender and sexuality in real life because most people are like oh that’s a butch lesbian. Because I am lazy. And because I only clear things up with vetted friends and literally do not care about pronouns and names and have had different names/pronouns in different circles etc. and they see my men’s attire and the fact that I haven’t binded (bound?) in years and my short hair has long grown out. And then they tell on themselves and their own lazy heuristics when I talk about liking a man that it either a) takes them visibly aback and they have to stumble over themselves to pretend they’re not shocked or b) straight up think I’m joking and continue to believe I’m a butch lesbian. And the craziest thing is other queer people like somehow often worse about this despite this sort of idea that they have of themselves that they don’t assume anyone’s gender/sexuality and that they don’t tie ideas of androgyny to a flat chest and that they do believe that pretty extreme gender fluidity can and does exist and that everyone’s experience with gender is unique. And then there’s all sorts of shit where if I don’t feel like explaining/justifying the fact that I feel my concept of identity and self shift at such a glacial pace that it’s not worth establishing a conventional nonbinary or transgender identity (that conforms to the accepted experience, timeline, and desired considerations) in public, beyond my trusted friends who are chill about deviant experiences within the queer norm, I’m just one of them theyfabs claiming to be queer for clout. Ugh anyways it’s crazy to be one of the few people on the planet who needs to occasionally come out as what may appear at the outset as straight. I’m literally not a lesbian and no one ever ever stops to think I might not be. But I’ve had so many profound experiences with women and within that sort of community that I do feel such a strong affinity there, and in an ideal world would love to be something like a he/him lesbian. But I’m not a lesbian. Because I like men!! Despite only ever having been with women!!! And it also is so funny to me that were I to enter into a relationship with a man I would be considered completely and entirely cishet despite my extensive experiences within the gay community and specifically the lesbian community. Who would accept me with open arms if I’d ended up permanently with one of the women I’ve been with!! But I remain steadfast in my convictions that I do not need to explain myself to anyone. And truly I do not care in the least what people assume about me, I’m a very private person for whom open identity is not important and I’m literally way too chill to care. But it’s just continuously funny to have to come out as not a lesbian. How many dozens of times have I had to be like “actually I am not a homosexual”. Literally the opposite experience of most LGBTeeeees I’ve just got that deeply intensely masculine swag for real that the effect lasts even when my hair gets down to like shoulder length. And it’s like, even though I am perceived as female, albeit a queer one, I have had literally every single one of the stereotypical experiences of the ‘knew I was transgender from early childhood’ archetype and that’s just supposed to be completely invalid because I decided not to medically transition due to the spans of time I have where my identity shifts and I know I’m not qualified to pick one of the three acceptable genders for the rest of my life? And I understand the broader community’s frustration with certain aspects of hegemony re: people whose identities are snidely referred to as “theyfabs” and bisexual women in LTRs with men HOWEVER im just so tiredddddddddddd of the condescension, and lazy heuristics I notice in queer people’s treatment of me and assumptions about me. Anyways thanks 2 the gay people in my phone for letting me be amorphous and being so so chill about it. I mean it probably helps that you can’t see my genuinely gargantuan and unbindable breasts from my posts. But christ man it’s just exhausting lol

[weaksspot]

in my mind young femchesters would have a fitzgerald sisters from ginger snaps sort of vibe. like neither particularly butch/gnc (as sexy as that would be) but also not especially preppy/feminine. dean (like ginger) would be hot & confident enough to be desirable/cool despite being visibly weird whereas sammy (like brigitte) would be too awkward and shy to have friends. and then as they grew up i guess dean would kind of tone down the gothy thing but the influence of it would still clearly linger and she would still be edgy and cool while sammy would probably get a little more mainstream with college etc but her high school grunge loner roots would still very much cling to her too

[up-in-flames-writing]

This is an old Twitter thread I'm posting here as an archive, when I eventually get banned on there for not tolerating transphobic abuse against me.

Still pretty relevant tho, even tho it was written almost a year & a half ago.

I'm sorry, I don't know how to do alt text, so here is the image ID under the cut:

[Image ID: A Twitter thread made by user Booker-Garet Feniks @abookandabun. The thread reads:

So, lately, I've been seeing some Takes™ on transition on here, & as a transman who looks like a baby butch lesbian, I have some Thoughts™, so here's a thread

First thing's first: I am short. I am skinny (read: underweight), & curvy. I have a more or less conventional hourglass figure. I also have a soft face, big lips & big eyes with long lashes. I keep my nails long & my hair long & when I cut them, they grow back fast

By all means, if I were a woman, I would be, if not conventionally attractive, at least conventionally feminine, with my small waist, wide hips, my long legs, & even my tiny tits. Despite this, I dress masculine. I hold myself like a man, I deepen my voice

My voice is naturally a bit deep, but not deep enough for there to be any ambiguity about what's in my pants. I still speak in a fake, deep voice, & when I introduce myself, I do it with a grin & tell everyone very openly 'my name is Booker-Garet'

Despite this, I do not pass. I am constantly Miss'ed & Ma'am'ed when I'm out & about. People who know me need to be told that I'm a man & go by he/him pronouns. Imagine that, imagine calling a teenage boy with an unambiguous male name 'she'. Imagine how I feel

How I feel when none of my efforts matter. How, when I'm at my most masculine while pre-op & pre-T, people see meas nothing more than a girl. It's distressing. I know what they're thinking, that I'm a tomboy or a lesbian. If they recognise that I'm trans, they don't show it

And, I feel like it's easy to get mad at GNC women. It's easy to get mad at the tomboys & the butches & the studs. 'They think I'm you' you might think. 'You're too visible & I'm not, & they think I'm you.'

I find it easy to blame a lot of ciswomen for this. The ones who tell me I should've just stayed a lesbian (which I never was), that I should've just been a tomboy (which I was), that I'm a traitor to womanhood (so be it). It is easy to get mad at them

It's hard being a trans guy, when the only pieces of masculinity coming from a female person people are aware of are the ones who are women, who stay women & who love being women. I didn't love being a woman. I love women, I love my cis & trans sisters

But I can't help feeling bitter when they perform masculinity & no one denies their womanhood, no one on the right side of history. But I can be my most manly self & even my allies feel that I'd just be better off as a lesbian, as a masculine woman.

As if masculinity is alright, is safe, as long as you're a woman who performs it, but the moment you're a man performing masculinity, you're not worth the time, the effort, the brain power.

Almost as I'd it's easier for people to accept me as a masculine woman, with my deep voice & my masculine name, than admit to the fact that I am a man

It's hard to admit that you don't pass. It's hard to admit that I'm not a 'real man', whatever that means. It's not, however, hard to admit that I don't have privilege. It's not hard to admit that I face misogyny.

It's not hard to admit that if you're AFAB & masc presenting, nothing short of a Thor voice & a Gandalf beard, & body hair like a gorilla will make people see you as anything but a woman. Because if I don't say this, who else will? I can't let people live a lie

I can't let people keep on believing that 'transmascs have it easier', that it's easier for us to pass. I can't let people keep believing that we 'run away from womanhood to have male privilege'. Where's my male privilege, Joanne? Did it get lost in the Owl Mail?

People will keep on believing that we have it easier, that we don't face discrimination, that we don't get misgendered & assaulted & killed. They will keep believing that, & they will keep ignoring us & our oppression, unless someone finally says 'Enough!' & tells their story

& I'm a good story teller, so I'm telling you. I don't pass, I wish I did, but I don't. Many of my brothers do not pass. Stop ignoring us just because you think we have it 'easier'. We don't, & your inaction is allowing us to get killed. Do better

End image ID]

[elipheleh]

The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all. The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

-Alex, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)

i want to talk about this quote. full disclosure, it’s because i keep seeing some really frustrating takes (some of which veer into queerphobia) and i am getting a bit annoyed with people and rather than directly addressing it with them & appear to be picking a fight im going to make an analysis post in my space. (tbf. its mostly on twitter and i have a priv account so that limits me)

disclaimer; this is my interpretation, im not saying its the only interpretation just something to consider. i am queer & cognitively disabled - don’t assume malice and dont be cruel. i will ignore and block freely.

tl;dr/very simplified summary: it doesn’t mean “dont ever speculate about other people’s sexuality” but rather that ‘coming out’ in the way society understands it shouldn’t be a necessity for queer people to exist openly as queer. full context under the cut & self-exploration questions at the end.

so lets start with the context. alex is talking at a point in time when the world has read their emails and so knows both are queer (bi & gay, specifically), but neither alex/the white house or henry/the palace have commented. so more simply - alex and henry are known to be queer, but have not come out. alex uses the speech to come out as bi, and as being in love with henry. he also uses it to imply that he & henry should have the right to choose not to do this formal coming out alex is doing.

—

okay. lets get into the quote analysis.

The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline.

reasonably self explanatory. each queer person gets to decide their own timing for coming out, and the way that they want to address their sexuality.

They also have the right to choose not to come out at all.

this is where problems with interpretation have started to appear. fundamentally yes, this means people are allowed to not be openly queer/‘out’ if that is what their decision is. but it also means that they can be visibly queer - for example being in a visibly queer relationship; signalling with their aesthetic (e.g. someone being butch, someone who wears only ‘girl’ clothes despite that being at odds to their assigned gender); casually posting about queer things on social media etc - without addressing their own sexuality to others.

it does not mean that you should assume everyone is straight until they explicitly tell you otherwise. and quite frankly insisting that it does mean that is veering into homo-/bi-/queer-phobia because you are insinuating that being not-straight is a negative thing.

The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

some people seem to be interpreting this as ‘you shouldnt force people out of the closet’ and i don’t think thats quite to the nuance of what it means. yes, i do think that is part of it - in much the same way as the previous sentence - but it is not really the whole of it. in my opinion this is actually addressing - at least to some degree - the concept of ‘we should assume people are straight until they explicitly say otherwise’.

the ‘forced conformity of coming out’ addresses the idea that to be “out” you have to follow these steps; that you have to make a public statement that ‘this is my sexuality and i am [queer/bi/gay/pan/ace/etc]’. you are conforming to this precedent of “how to come out” that countless queer people have followed. there’s nothing inherently wrong with doing so, but actually there are different ways to be queer - and even being “out” as queer - that don’t involve following that playbook.

here’s a hypothetical to demonstrate my point. two men, who have never dated any women, live together & spend basically all their time together over 5-10 years. they holiday with each other’s family, they’re always together at events (e.g. weddings of non-mutual friends), but they’ve never told you/the public that they’re queer and/or dating each other. at what point does one start to assume they’re together? and does the answer change if its a man & a woman rather than two men? if a man & a woman did that, people would assume pretty early on they’re probably dating. but yet when it’s two men suddenly it’s invasive to speculate. this is where this concept of the forced conformity of coming out comes in - along with the veering into homophobia i referenced earlier - why must they say the words “i am gay” for it to then be ‘okay’ to consider that they’re together? (the homophobia comes into play because if you think being gay is morally neutral (which it is) then you shouldn’t have any issue with the speculation about people being together regardless of their genders.) the idea that straight is the default is where this forced conformity starts to really kick in.

—

i guess the main things i want people to ask themselves are these (and i have been asking myself these questions, there is no judgement or censure just self examination):

1. do you think people can be openly queer publicly without explicitly sharing that they are queer? (by this i mean in an announcement or in casual conversation. can you be openly queer without ever addressing it explicitly?)

2. if you do, why do you think that talking about the possibility someone is queer is something that should be hushed up? is it because there is an internalised concept that being queer is something abnormal and/or negative? if it was a straight couple would you feel the same way?

3. what does “coming out” mean to you? why does it mean that, what have you internalised to get to that conclusion & is it something that always works or are there other ways to be openly queer (or ‘out’ if you prefer)?

4. is it possible that there are queer people living openly and happily as themselves without explicitly addressing their sexuality to the wider world, who don’t want to address it publicly? does this make them closeted or ‘less’ queer to you? if so, what makes you think that?

[guriyuri]

School Zone/「スクールゾーン」

🌸9/10🌸 (HIATUS)

A quirky yuri comedy about the chaotic daily life of high school girls! Yokoe and Sugiura have been together forever, and they've mastered the art of making trouble when life's a bore. High school might be a drag, but these girls in love know just how to inject a little chaos and comedy into their sloppy school life.

(Seven Seas Entertainment)

*occasionally listed as ‘School Zone Girls’

I fuckin LOVED school zone, man. There isn't a single character in it that isn't eeping out of their minds at all times. It throws almost all normal shonen/male-targeted troupes off of their kilter and is incredibly refreshing to read. One of its best qualities is its ability to maintain its identity outside of being a queer story- providing commentary on a wide range of topics relevant to high school, youth, etc. I can't really describe the effect of finally being able to read girls just being fucking stupid- other than saying its like running your brain under cold tap water, if your brain was a lesbian yuri enthusiast with a perpetual craving for full-cream milk. As silly as it may be, I actually genuinely enjoy its approach to w/w and adolescent relationship. 2 out of the 3 arguable 'main' three couples have one partner that is gender nonconforming/visibly queer, a rarity for contemporary yuri as a lot of works- to no fault of their own- fall into pitfalls of exclusively drawing hyper-feminine women to try present itself more believably or because it has no other way of proving to you that the characters are girls. The negative of this being that ostracises an entire group of people within the real-life lesbian community and disregards the instrumental role of butch lesbians in queer history by refusing them representation in a genre for them. Despite how I phrase this, though, I'm not exactly trying to present School Zone as a Magnum Opus or the pinnacle of political-correctness and singlehandedly defeating lesbophobia worldwide (which it did); I just cannot stress how badly we need diverse gender representation in yuri.

The main two girls are both fucking hilarious and strangely adorable in their own way (aside from being every gay couple to ever™). Their dynamic mostly consists of Yokoe being a combination of stupid, evil, and helplessly down bad and Kei being a single thread away from pulling a glock on her. If that can’t convince you to give szg a shot you’re a lost cause + I’m unplugging your life support. Anyways, they’re only one of the 3(ish) main pairings in the manga; but that’s where we get to the difficult part to talk about. Touched on some-what briefly, but too often to be able to ignore (iirc they have a handful of dedicated chapters), is Tsubaki’s incestuous crush on her sister Hiiragi. It’s kind of unfortunate this is in here and it sucks for me to have to mention but In this specific case I do think it’s worth overlooking for *so* many reasons. At its’ core their relationship is mostly focused on teenage adolescence and navigating complex familial relationships whilst still trying to grow up and find yourself. In isolation both Tsubaki and Hiiragi are very well written characters; on par with the rest of the cast and really are both very likeable. It’s when their relationship with eachother gets played up for fanservice is when they start to shit on your salad. Still, though, the author pretty clearly has no intention of actually writing them ending up together/Hiiragi reciprocating. So it’s highly likely Tsubaki’s character arc will lead her to move on, especially considering how she’s developed thus far. Last Couple worth discussing seriously is Fuji and Kishiya-san. While I was reading I was under the impression that Fuji + rest were high-school aged and Kishiya was in her first year at uni, but the only source I can find that lists their age says that Kishiya is a first-year high school student; which must make everybody else be in secondary school. Either way though, the age gap between them remains roughly the same and doesn’t really change my hot take on these two. Out of the entire cast Fuji is definitely the truest depiction of the experience of growing up sapphic, unknowingly. She is also my favourite :-). It was also refreshing to read about a girl who hasn’t figured it all out and is just kind of weird and off putting instead of elegant and tragic like the atmosphere of traditional yuri + made me feel weirdly heard? Call me biased, or a victim of grooming ALL you want but looking up to someone maturer, more in control, someone who feels above it all is someone you tend to gravitate towards when you’ve felt helpless and inept at understanding yourself your entire life. Much like Tsubaki and Hiiragi, Kishiya-san has yet to show any indication of reciprocating or even knowing of Fuji’s feelings and is what I think a genuinely positive influence on her. I can also imagine Kishiya-san fighting on the mental FRONTLINES to stay as patient and kind to Fuji as she is, aswell as taking the time to talk to her and treating her like a friend. Everyone please take a moment to acknowledge her service in the troubled youth industry.

There’s also Yatsude and Kaname but they’re pretty interesting so I’ll let you develop your thoughts independently on those two. They also have ZERO buisness being the most beautiful fucking women alive. The things I’d let Kaname do to me are to be repented for.

[gunslinginnhogtyin]

«SPELL-BOUND»   for the sender to use a spell to entrap the receiver.

"Oh, what a sweet, noble little thing you are." It's easy enough to make Butch move with the cuffs on his arms, a magical binding shackling him to the ones on his own wrists. The rest of Butch is bound in emerald thread, so he's restrained for the moment with glittering patterns across his form. The person dragging him along looks like Artair if he was rolled in dirt, had shoulder-length hair, and it lacked the usual gradient for just his yellow, with a few streaks of brown. That, and this body was healthy, filled out like he ate regular meals. But already, scales in a myriad of greens were beginning to grow in patches ion his skin, becoming more and more visible as his magical alterations began to fade and weaken. If anything he seemed stronger now, as he dragged Butch through a cavern opening.

"Your friend calls, and you come running. How...endearing." The saccharine voice pairs well with the too-wide smile, as they drag him further into the first chamber of the cavern. There's a bifurcation, and they turn right. "It's too bad. Really, you ought to have been more cautious, you are truly much too pretty to be dying this young."

The tunnel opens up from their downwards trek to a large open area, studded with countless stalagmites. Stalactites hang far above too, near the roof of the cavern. A circle of runes on the floor light an acidic green, ringing the perimeter of this large amphitheater. With a tingling thrum, the threads binding Butch are gone. Resonance yanks him a few feet further by the manacles before he can find his feet, letting out a laugh that's almost familiar as he forces him that last stumble. "But don't worry, I'm sure if you try so very hard you can make your escape. Go on, little cowboy, feel free to try."

CAPTURE MY MUSE! // @townofcadence

«SPELL-BOUND»   for the sender to use a spell to entrap the receiver.

Butch felt stupid, to say the least, for falling for such an obvious trap. The moment he thought he heard his friend in danger, he had sprung into action—only to find that it wasn’t his friend at all. In fact, he’s not sure what this thing was… but it sure resembled Artair in a few ways, albeit with a few notable differences that weren’t quite obvious from afar in the dimness of the night.

This wasn’t the first time he had been bound by magic and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, so he’s far from fearful—more so AGITATED by this unfortunate turn of events and even more so when the thing begins to taunt him as he’s dragged along off to god knows where. “Shut up.” Butch growls, struggling in his confines yet again despite knowing his attempts are futile.

Whatever this thing was, it had some sort of dark aura surrounding it—god, if only his senses were a bit sharper. Perhaps he could recognize what sort of magic this was, or what this being was in general and then he could ponder his escape with what advantages he might have had. Sadly, that had always been his old partners area of expertise. Fuck.

The cowboy makes sure to keep an eye on their surroundings, hoping that remembering the location in which they had traversed so far will assist him in some way when making his escape. If he even gets the chance, that is. He’s determined to free himself, he had been in rougher patches before—he’s sure of it! So there was really no need to panic, and he doesn’t… not until dying is mentioned, anyway.

His eyes go a little wide and a nervous laugh escapes him, and suddenly he’s much friendlier than he had been on the entire trek here. “Heyyyy now—let’s not talk like that! Heh—“ Butch swallows his disgust before continuing, “U-Uh… this… pretty lil’ thing can do other stuff too, y’know… y’don’t have t’kill me.” He tries, looking from his captor and then around himself as they enter a peculiar tunnel. What the…?

Then, he stops and Butch feels the threads binding him dissipate just before being thrown forcefully forward which indeed causes him to stumble, his tail whipping around as he tries to maintain some balance. He nearly trips but manages to catch his footing just in time, shooting a glare at the thing that had nearly knocked him over. That laugh is what really pisses him off… the fact that it sounded like Artair, it disgusted him. Among other feelings, he’s confused as to how and why exactly this is happening. Surely this guy knew Artair, right? It was no coincidence they shared scarily similar physical attributes, right? There was no telling at this point.

A growl rumbles in the back of his throat but he has to stop himself from saying anything he’ll regret; he’s in an awfully compromising situation after all. Maybe playing nice was the best course of action. It had gotten him out of many scrapes before. Gritting his teeth, he has to force a smile, scoffing loudly in response to the others mocking,

“Tch! Escape? Th’ fun’s jus’ gettin’ started, ain’t it? Y’brought me alllll th’ way out here,” He gestures around himself with his bound wrists, looking around as well before his eyes land back on Resonance, “…an’ y’want me t’ escape? Let’s have a lil’ fun first! Or ‘least make a game out’f it? C’mon, what d’ya say~?” His tone is playful now, free of any worry. He could put on a little show if it meant waiting for an open opportunity to escape.

[knarme-stray]

All the ridicculously handsome guys I've seen with their rising hairlines or balding in general make me feel not so bad about how much my hair has thinned... (not even bcs of T but because I have mystery flares of hair thinning I've had since pre-T days as well, probably burn-out and trauma related, + recently a hair dye kit I bought said "fuck you" to my scalp... 🥶)

(Many women in both sides of my family have very thin hair for some reason. I got their genes.)

But yeaahh as someone who is obsessed with my looks and has like... A tendency to view my entire face through a dysmorphia-ridden lense, hair is obviously very important to me. I need it to look decent to myself.

Ssoo yea I'm delighted that working on my self-esteem has made me feel a lot better about this hair issue, I feel that treating myself like a spoiled princess in my private life and giving myself the kind of dignity and care I need just really... Makes me feel unstoppable no matter what happens to my body.

Also I've certainly met ppl with a feminine gender expression who have visible balding, and they looked completely fine to me. They were confident and being themselves so the balding just felt like another natural bodily feature just like leg hair. Ppl can be feminine and pretty and elegant while balding visibly, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Bcs femininity is very important to myself as well (see when I was painting walls at a renovation site for a job gig last week, despite all those workman clothes I did my makeup that day bcs it's rebellion against the idea that such work is inherently masculine somehow, or would erase my feminine faggot personality lol), seeing feminine people with thinning hair or balding of any kind also really calms my anxieties about gender expression.

And while there is a whole myriad of examples of handsome manly men who are bald asf, tbh now I feel like I need to see more rep of androgynous and fem characters with thinning or balding hair. And butch women and non-cispassing transmascs and men because I feel that I navigate a kinda different landscape of looks insecurities than ppl who willingly pass as cis men.

Starting to perhaps feel more inspired for some character designs now...

[cowboyjen68]

Hey Jen,

Just wanted to say thank you for everything you do. I grew up in a very "traditional" environment with no butch role models I could look up to, which meant I've moved through my childhood and teenage years as a very lonely and confused tomboy. I remember reading about butch lesbians for the first time and finally feeling like there are other women like me out there and that there's nothing wrong with being the way I am. I've managed to fully grow into myself after I came out at 18 and have since been the proud and visible butch I've needed to see when I was younger. The problem is, even though I'm about to turn 30, I still feel like I'm missing that recognition and approval from older butches that I always craved and never had, and it's making me feel a little embarrassed because it's usually younger girls who seek guidance like that. I'm normally seen as "seasoned" in my small circle but I don't feel that way deep inside. I don't really know how to cope with this feeling, but seeing your posts and you just existing has been so good and healing, I truly appreciate you so much.

It makes my heart full to hear when one of us, despite the obstacles and misinformation and subtle to even aggressive push back from the world around us, discovers the word, our word, Butch and pieces fall into place. I needed to know there was a word to describe myself and others who shared certain experiences because often those things were impossible to communicate with just words unless someone lived in a similar space as I did/do. 

You can take consolation that I get DM’s and meet women well into their 30’s and even 40’s who  are trying hard to embrace butch without much modeling in their real lives. They see media representation that is sparse, one dimensional, and inaccurate.They get handed books that most likely tell A story but not one broad enough as to be applicable to most of us and wonder why they feel like they are missing things they can truly relate to beyond superficial aesthetics or glimpses of familiar treatments in society. 

I would suggest going to a women’s festival if you can swing it. There are always lots of butches of all personality types, body types and they are full of stories and experiences and you will see a more rounded representation of the US. 

Follow butches on Tiktok like KojaDeyoha and Conservation_Junkie who showcase their lives without compromise or apologies. Check their comment sections for others who you might be able to relate to. 

Be honest with yourself above all others because at the end of the day you are with you and no one else will be responsible for your happiness. 

Subscribe to Lesbian Connection Magazine LConline.org to get a glimpse into the conversions lesbians of all stripes have in a casual, letter format.

I am glad I am relatable to you and so happy you found me.  I know I needed to see “me” when I was younger and thankfully around 23 my first girlfriend took me to a women’s festival and I saw lots of women with whom I could find common ground.

[womantoday]

creaturefromthelesbianlagoon: Butch Lesbians Saved my Life

These past few months i’ve been reclaiming my womanhood. It’s a defiant act. It’s a FUCK YOU to an entire life of being told i’m wrong by other people. I’m reclaiming my womanhood for the child who felt segregated and ashamed. I’m reclaiming my womanhood for the teenager who considered that perhaps they should have been a man despite feeling no kinship with men whatsoever.

I had been calling myself genderqueer/non-binary/agender for a long time, before i even knew that kind of language. My teens were an odd time of telling my Mother i felt like a third gender, that i was confused, that i felt alienated. I have been through dysphoria, i’ve felt so ashamed of my body and my identity, it’s been very sad. A sadness that was not created by me, a sadness that has been put upon me by a society that shuns women that do not conform to a stereotype, to a standard model, by a society that has enjoyed making a small girl feel disgusted by their own existence.

I’m 23 years old, and i’m coming to terms with being a woman. At first i was too ashamed to, i still feel unworthy of it. Women to me are beautiful, exciting, intelligent and brave. I feel a trifle of that, but i’m on my way. There are still things that rub me up the wrong way, I hate being called a girl, i hate the use of titles like Miss and Mrs. I never once considered that perhaps other women dislike that too. Do they?

I’ve arrived at this point because I found out there are women out there like me! and i have to say this… BUTCH LESBIANS SAVED MY LIFE. Lesbians saved my life, gender non conforming women have saved my life. I am almost euphoric in my findings, ecstatic! There are women who feel dysphoric! There are women who have issues with having breasts! There are women that are mistaken for teenage boys! and HOLY SHIT! It’s like this entire world has arrived. Things are making sense, things are slotting into place. I cannot express to you with my vocabulary how relieved i am. I could CRY!

I’m still unsure of things, i still don’t understand everything completely, but what i do know is that this has changed my life in such a dramatic way. I have an anxiety disorder, i have mental illnesses, and a lot of my anxiety has been because of my gender, my identity, the way people have treated me. Now, when i go outside, i keep in my heart the women i have found online, the women throughout history, the women in documentaries, the women that live their lives openly and proudly on blogs and share their experiences. These women have filled me with joy. I am so thankful. All it takes is visibility, for somebody to say “I see you”. I never had that, and if it was there, even fleetingly, other people were quick to shoot it down, make out like it was undesirable. I go out, and I am myself, and i am a (fragile) strong woman, and i won’t let other people tell me i am not. I am not going to let people strip me of my identity any longer.

So if you’re reading this, and you’re out there doing your thing as a woman, i take my hat off to you, and i thank you. I hope that by living my life like i do, i will be able to show my nieces that they can do great things without thinking they have to be a man, like i did, for so very long.

[dyke-on]

what's theyfab? i feel like I'm possibly lucky not knowing what you mean

Well frankly it's controversial but from how I understand it, it refers to non binary afabs who tend to present in a feminine manner who like to centre themselves and speak over other queer people and especially trans women, like I knew one who got mad that i said I'm masc and they're not. Mind you they wear very overtly feminine clothes so they appear as a cishet woman to most of society. Which for me a butch who is visibly queer and more likely to experience transphobia despite not being trans, it's fucking annoying to deny this reality

[mithliya]

So Muslim girls can’t be gnc or label themselves butch unless they seek asylum or flee since you have to wear a hijab or be lucky enough to have more liberal parents to get away with cutting your hair and those kind of things

i mean, no, they can. i know many from very religious families that have cut their hair and are gnc and have to fight their families on this. assuming they have liberal families instead of them simply persisting on it despite the risks is bizarre to me. i know butches from saudi who don’t have accepting families and have to wear a hijab etc but will still show that they’re butch or gnc one way or another. but it makes no sense to me to identify as a butch bc ur Internally and Aspiring to be butch one day. that’s bordering TRA level lol like butches experience many things for being visibly gnc and it’s weird to me for someone to be gender conforming for whatever reason (as if all lesbians who don’t call themselves butch are happily conforming to gender roles or sth. no, many are being held back by societal & familial shit too) and then claim the experiences of butch lesbians bc they Feel like a butch lesbian. that’s just bizarre.

[nonegenderleftpain]

genuine question, how being both pan gay and pan lesbian works? I'm queer myself (bi, demiromantic and nonbinary) but I'm little bit of confused. no need to answer tho.

It's kind of complicated - I consider myself bigender in a really complex way, and my identity is constantly shifting as I transition and as I find myself. I love women in a gay way, and as a butch, I refuse to give up the label of lesbian despite being in a relationship with one nonbinary trans guy and one cis guy. I also love men in a gay way. My attraction to my cishet partner is gay attraction, despite us meeting when I was still a girl. I didn't know what I was feeling was gay attraction - that the way that I love men was very much not the same as my straight peers - until I realized I was trans as an adult and things began to make sense. I see our relationship as a gay one, even though he's straight, because we are visibly gay and navigate the world as a gay male couple because of it, no matter the complexities that are there privately. When my paperwork goes through, I will be legally a man, even though personally I only tangentially am one, and our relationship will be beholden to laws regarding gay marriage despite transphobes still considering me a woman.

I love men, and I also love women. I am pansexual and panromantic, but my reasons for holding tight to the lesbian identity and community that raised me are very similar to the reasons I call myself a gay man. People will always interpret me through their lens. To transphobes, I'm either a man in a dress or a woman who mutilated herself. To lesbophobes with no understanding of butch histories and relationships to gender, I am a man invading lesbian spaces or a misogynistic gender traitor. To the mlm community, I'm either a femme or a sissy. None of these things are right, but none of them are entirely wrong either. And just as others can't find a box to put me in consistently or easily, I use the words I use as a political statement to say that if they try, they will not succeed. I am a lesbian. I am a gay man. I am bisexual. I am transgender. I am transsexual. I am pansexual. I am a relationship anarchist and a radical inclusionist and a cripplepunk visionary who wants to live in a world post-labels (or post-need for labels). I refuse to give up my past for the sake of my future, just because it makes others uncomfortable. Others' confusion is not my problem.