#despite being visibly. very butch

[hoofpeet]

They had a kind of mutual unspoken gender envy situation as kids where Ginger liked doing 'boy stuff' more while Bunny liked doing 'girl stuff'; both of which were strict secrets from their parents ofc . So they hid their toys in each other's rooms and pretended to be into them to cover for each other 🧡 I imagine Bunny was really into mlp or smthn similiar as a lamb and had to ask *Ginger* to ask their parents for an mlp thing for Christmas so their dad wouldn't berate him for wanting a 'girl's toy'

[dykeulous]

one thing in particular that i dislike about non-trans people is the assumption that i, as a transmasc, want to assimilate into normative society & 100% “pass” as a cis man & go through my day-to-day life living as male. i am in general very anti-assimilationist, but my personal reasoning for this goes beyond my general views of assimilation being anti-liberationist at the core. i’m not saying that if i could choose, i would choose this path. i’m not saying i take joy in having to struggle with dysphoria, nor am i saying that transness is “Customize your Character! Build a Personality! Be Funky!” type of thing, nor am i doing whatever spiritual punk social justice thingy the current trans movement is on about. i am simply saying that, despite the fact that i would choose to be born male if i could, i simply have no interest in passing as a normative cishet dude in society. i do not want to be perceived as that, and i have no desire to go through my life living like that. i take pride in being gnc, i take pride in my bond with women & lesbians, i take pride in butch communities. i love forming connections with women & lesbians, without feeling isolated & othered. despite my inner desire to pass as male, i simply would not trade the bond & sisterhood i share with women & lesbians in my life for anything.

i do not shame & blame my fellow transmascs who do want to pass, who want to assimilate & who take measures to do so. not only can it be safer at times & detrimental to the trans person’s mental health & social acceptance, but i also respect the self-determination of each & every trans person & their personal free will. however, i value my connection with butchness & lesbianism, and when i enter female spaces– i do not want to be viewed as a potential threat. i want women to see me, and think, “this person is one of us. this person has gone through what we go through & this person shares our suffering & hardships”. i want to lead the lifestyle of a visibly ftm butch lesbian, and although i am aware of how unsafe & dangerous that can be, and am in no way telling other transmascs they need to follow this path; i need more non-trans people to see my pov, and the pov of many other transmascs– transmedicalism has been proposed as the only “correct” idea of transness for long enough, and we need to put an end to that; someone’s dysphoria isn’t any less real for refusing to assimilate. transmascs have been deeply immersed in butch history, and my desire to pass will never top my love & desire for women.

[our-queer-experience]

as a trans man who is exclusively male gender wise and extremely dysphoric etc etc, ive never understood ftm lesbians because surely it would just be dysphoric. but slowly, through reading about peoples experiences, i get it now. id never have said ftm lesbians arent valid, and now im even more certain of them being valid and having their place. i still dont fully understand how lesbians would date someone ftm or a stone butch, but it isnt my place to police peoples identities (especially as an out and loud gay man who has dated women and genderfluid/nonbi people)

that being said, i wouldn't identify with it personally before, and still would not. my gender is much closer to being just a man than being feminine or androgyne or etc, in most ways, but i do understand the connection to girlhood. i hate being ftm like this because if i talk about my experiences with girlhood people disregard it because im a man now and i dont feel any sentiment perse toward girlhood etc anymore, despite having experienced it and also misogyny. i feel almost seperate to the ftm lesbians or ftms who still use she/her or etc, but i also feel like anyone who has a similar gender identity to me (being very strongly ftm but still inherently trans and having my transness be visible and important to my identity as a gay man aswell (i only date other ftms, currently)) and isnt straight or stealth or etc. idk i wish there were other ftms like me who were like. exclusively male in identity but gender non conforming and like,, gay,,,,,??

idk im just spitballing here feel free to ignore this im just yapping because i wanted to get my thoughts out

i get that. its really important to listen to people’s experiences when theyre different and while i see my attraction to women as heterosexual, i understand why others wouldnt. its just individual identitys tbh. there are a lot of gay trans guys tho, trust me

[verdemoun]

things my "cishet" "neurotypical" 25 year old (has never played a video game in his life) humanities teacher friend has said during his rdr2 playthrough

(dutch going off at bill at the start of revenge is a dish best eaten) well that seemed uncalled for. dutch is. dutch is starting to lose it, huh

visibly upset over having to shoot up the mansion, esp the stained glass windows. loves the double barrel tho.

(dutch going off at bronte) yeah dutch has full lost it. oh! oh! gator! :D DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

only comment during banking the american art: papa hosea noooooo!!

(the diagnosis) ah yes well he’s dead he’s got consumption

(arthur's walk) why is there a moose in saint denis.

"the hot air balloon! first invented in 1793" (demanded i fact check, he was correct)

oh it's like the wizard of oz! there's no place like blackwater, there's no place like blackwater, there's no place like blackwater.

despite having no reaction to the diagnosis, immediately had tears in his eyes screaming ARTURO NOOOOOO as the funny man died

"mrs adler has the sort of perky butchness i can see you being attracted to"

meeting algernon: don’t you dare fucking say that’s me

five seconds into the intro cut scene: oh no he’s me

micah being on scene for any amount of time: i am dryer than the sahara rn.

i asked him to clarify. he paused. proceeded to refer to which characters made his pussy wet/dry for the rest of the evening. has never made this joke before.

thought abigail was the rat during guarma until seeing dutch muttering chess moves to himself. had decided dutch is very much unhinged and no longer trusts anything dutch says.

no idea who the rat is. does believe there's a rat. thought it was john until i said 'no try again'

bought a theatre ticket and missed most of the show admiring the foyer and guessing what sort of marble it was meant to imitate.

failed to steal the black arabian from the couple in saint denis and sulked because the red arabian is his fav.

spent an hour customizing arthur's outfit. (arthur is hideous pls send help)

spent an additional 20 minutes deciding on a hair style and going through every moustache option only to settle on day 2 stubble.

"i like bill. he might be homophobic and racist and dumb but - i don't know i just think he's neat"

(excitedly) OH I FOUND THE KKK QUICK HOW TO I THROW TNT AGAIN!!

(attempting to dismount a horse) "e for eject"

(getting a low honor dream after killing every single npc in strawberry for funsies) oh no oh no i do not like that how do we fix that

annoyed he can't actually listen to pearson's navy stories

[fallhound]

thinking about what you posted a few days ago about not being butch but just a very repressed femme and i think that is me. i wanna be femme so bad but every time i try i just look awful and it makes me dislike myself even more. at least when i do butch i look good.

This ask sat in my inbox for a while, i kept staring at it, trying to think of something coherent. I really wish I had an easy, solid answer, good advice, reassurance, but... I'm still figuring it out myself.

I've spent 7+ years in denial about my gender, truly coming out only last september. Before that, transphobia and homophobia were so so deeply ingrained in me (after growing up in a very non progressive, very roman catholic country) I once had a panic attack buying a pink tshirt in a mall.

The first time I wore a skirt in public was last pride. I went nonverbal very quickly, and despite having an alright time overall I did not wear it for a while after.

Some weeks later I was getting ready to go get a my hair cut. I looked in my closet, saw the skirt, thought about wearing it. The doubt set back in IMMEDIATELY. I put it back down.

As I was running a little late, I went to check if I can afford a short uber ride. That is when I've learnt that my benefits got cut with no prior warning. This was bad news! HOWEVER. the severity of the Bad News was such it actually knocked me out of my overthinking. Who gives a shit if I'm wearing a skirt. How is that even a concern when Im in sudden danger of not being able to afford rent? How is that an issue. How does it matter. Who gives a Fuck.

I got my hair cut in a skirt.

Since then I've all but abandoned pants (partially due to being without income and thus unable to afford new clothes lmao). However! There are still outfits I want to wear but "cannot" Shorter skirts! visible thigh highs! fishnets! anything showing tummy! ANY MAKEUP!! dresses!

It sometimes feels hopeless, like progress is impossible, like there is this wall I simply cannot break through. But so did wearing a skirt. starting hrt. wearing pink. loving myself.

Small steps, large leaps, I wish you all the luck in the world <3

[weaksspot]

in my mind young femchesters would have a fitzgerald sisters from ginger snaps sort of vibe. like neither particularly butch/gnc (as sexy as that would be) but also not especially preppy/feminine. dean (like ginger) would be hot & confident enough to be desirable/cool despite being visibly weird whereas sammy (like brigitte) would be too awkward and shy to have friends. and then as they grew up i guess dean would kind of tone down the gothy thing but the influence of it would still clearly linger and she would still be edgy and cool while sammy would probably get a little more mainstream with college etc but her high school grunge loner roots would still very much cling to her too

[elipheleh]

The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all. The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

-Alex, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)

i want to talk about this quote. full disclosure, it’s because i keep seeing some really frustrating takes (some of which veer into queerphobia) and i am getting a bit annoyed with people and rather than directly addressing it with them & appear to be picking a fight im going to make an analysis post in my space. (tbf. its mostly on twitter and i have a priv account so that limits me)

disclaimer; this is my interpretation, im not saying its the only interpretation just something to consider. i am queer & cognitively disabled - don’t assume malice and dont be cruel. i will ignore and block freely.

tl;dr/very simplified summary: it doesn’t mean “dont ever speculate about other people’s sexuality” but rather that ‘coming out’ in the way society understands it shouldn’t be a necessity for queer people to exist openly as queer. full context under the cut & self-exploration questions at the end.

so lets start with the context. alex is talking at a point in time when the world has read their emails and so knows both are queer (bi & gay, specifically), but neither alex/the white house or henry/the palace have commented. so more simply - alex and henry are known to be queer, but have not come out. alex uses the speech to come out as bi, and as being in love with henry. he also uses it to imply that he & henry should have the right to choose not to do this formal coming out alex is doing.

—

okay. lets get into the quote analysis.

The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline.

reasonably self explanatory. each queer person gets to decide their own timing for coming out, and the way that they want to address their sexuality.

They also have the right to choose not to come out at all.

this is where problems with interpretation have started to appear. fundamentally yes, this means people are allowed to not be openly queer/‘out’ if that is what their decision is. but it also means that they can be visibly queer - for example being in a visibly queer relationship; signalling with their aesthetic (e.g. someone being butch, someone who wears only ‘girl’ clothes despite that being at odds to their assigned gender); casually posting about queer things on social media etc - without addressing their own sexuality to others.

it does not mean that you should assume everyone is straight until they explicitly tell you otherwise. and quite frankly insisting that it does mean that is veering into homo-/bi-/queer-phobia because you are insinuating that being not-straight is a negative thing.

The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

some people seem to be interpreting this as ‘you shouldnt force people out of the closet’ and i don’t think thats quite to the nuance of what it means. yes, i do think that is part of it - in much the same way as the previous sentence - but it is not really the whole of it. in my opinion this is actually addressing - at least to some degree - the concept of ‘we should assume people are straight until they explicitly say otherwise’.

the ‘forced conformity of coming out’ addresses the idea that to be “out” you have to follow these steps; that you have to make a public statement that ‘this is my sexuality and i am [queer/bi/gay/pan/ace/etc]’. you are conforming to this precedent of “how to come out” that countless queer people have followed. there’s nothing inherently wrong with doing so, but actually there are different ways to be queer - and even being “out” as queer - that don’t involve following that playbook.

here’s a hypothetical to demonstrate my point. two men, who have never dated any women, live together & spend basically all their time together over 5-10 years. they holiday with each other’s family, they’re always together at events (e.g. weddings of non-mutual friends), but they’ve never told you/the public that they’re queer and/or dating each other. at what point does one start to assume they’re together? and does the answer change if its a man & a woman rather than two men? if a man & a woman did that, people would assume pretty early on they’re probably dating. but yet when it’s two men suddenly it’s invasive to speculate. this is where this concept of the forced conformity of coming out comes in - along with the veering into homophobia i referenced earlier - why must they say the words “i am gay” for it to then be ‘okay’ to consider that they’re together? (the homophobia comes into play because if you think being gay is morally neutral (which it is) then you shouldn’t have any issue with the speculation about people being together regardless of their genders.) the idea that straight is the default is where this forced conformity starts to really kick in.

—

i guess the main things i want people to ask themselves are these (and i have been asking myself these questions, there is no judgement or censure just self examination):

1. do you think people can be openly queer publicly without explicitly sharing that they are queer? (by this i mean in an announcement or in casual conversation. can you be openly queer without ever addressing it explicitly?)

2. if you do, why do you think that talking about the possibility someone is queer is something that should be hushed up? is it because there is an internalised concept that being queer is something abnormal and/or negative? if it was a straight couple would you feel the same way?

3. what does “coming out” mean to you? why does it mean that, what have you internalised to get to that conclusion & is it something that always works or are there other ways to be openly queer (or ‘out’ if you prefer)?

4. is it possible that there are queer people living openly and happily as themselves without explicitly addressing their sexuality to the wider world, who don’t want to address it publicly? does this make them closeted or ‘less’ queer to you? if so, what makes you think that?

[guriyuri]

School Zone/「スクールゾーン」

🌸9/10🌸 (HIATUS)

A quirky yuri comedy about the chaotic daily life of high school girls! Yokoe and Sugiura have been together forever, and they've mastered the art of making trouble when life's a bore. High school might be a drag, but these girls in love know just how to inject a little chaos and comedy into their sloppy school life.

(Seven Seas Entertainment)

*occasionally listed as ‘School Zone Girls’

I fuckin LOVED school zone, man. There isn't a single character in it that isn't eeping out of their minds at all times. It throws almost all normal shonen/male-targeted troupes off of their kilter and is incredibly refreshing to read. One of its best qualities is its ability to maintain its identity outside of being a queer story- providing commentary on a wide range of topics relevant to high school, youth, etc. I can't really describe the effect of finally being able to read girls just being fucking stupid- other than saying its like running your brain under cold tap water, if your brain was a lesbian yuri enthusiast with a perpetual craving for full-cream milk. As silly as it may be, I actually genuinely enjoy its approach to w/w and adolescent relationship. 2 out of the 3 arguable 'main' three couples have one partner that is gender nonconforming/visibly queer, a rarity for contemporary yuri as a lot of works- to no fault of their own- fall into pitfalls of exclusively drawing hyper-feminine women to try present itself more believably or because it has no other way of proving to you that the characters are girls. The negative of this being that ostracises an entire group of people within the real-life lesbian community and disregards the instrumental role of butch lesbians in queer history by refusing them representation in a genre for them. Despite how I phrase this, though, I'm not exactly trying to present School Zone as a Magnum Opus or the pinnacle of political-correctness and singlehandedly defeating lesbophobia worldwide (which it did); I just cannot stress how badly we need diverse gender representation in yuri.

The main two girls are both fucking hilarious and strangely adorable in their own way (aside from being every gay couple to ever™). Their dynamic mostly consists of Yokoe being a combination of stupid, evil, and helplessly down bad and Kei being a single thread away from pulling a glock on her. If that can’t convince you to give szg a shot you’re a lost cause + I’m unplugging your life support. Anyways, they’re only one of the 3(ish) main pairings in the manga; but that’s where we get to the difficult part to talk about. Touched on some-what briefly, but too often to be able to ignore (iirc they have a handful of dedicated chapters), is Tsubaki’s incestuous crush on her sister Hiiragi. It’s kind of unfortunate this is in here and it sucks for me to have to mention but In this specific case I do think it’s worth overlooking for *so* many reasons. At its’ core their relationship is mostly focused on teenage adolescence and navigating complex familial relationships whilst still trying to grow up and find yourself. In isolation both Tsubaki and Hiiragi are very well written characters; on par with the rest of the cast and really are both very likeable. It’s when their relationship with eachother gets played up for fanservice is when they start to shit on your salad. Still, though, the author pretty clearly has no intention of actually writing them ending up together/Hiiragi reciprocating. So it’s highly likely Tsubaki’s character arc will lead her to move on, especially considering how she’s developed thus far. Last Couple worth discussing seriously is Fuji and Kishiya-san. While I was reading I was under the impression that Fuji + rest were high-school aged and Kishiya was in her first year at uni, but the only source I can find that lists their age says that Kishiya is a first-year high school student; which must make everybody else be in secondary school. Either way though, the age gap between them remains roughly the same and doesn’t really change my hot take on these two. Out of the entire cast Fuji is definitely the truest depiction of the experience of growing up sapphic, unknowingly. She is also my favourite :-). It was also refreshing to read about a girl who hasn’t figured it all out and is just kind of weird and off putting instead of elegant and tragic like the atmosphere of traditional yuri + made me feel weirdly heard? Call me biased, or a victim of grooming ALL you want but looking up to someone maturer, more in control, someone who feels above it all is someone you tend to gravitate towards when you’ve felt helpless and inept at understanding yourself your entire life. Much like Tsubaki and Hiiragi, Kishiya-san has yet to show any indication of reciprocating or even knowing of Fuji’s feelings and is what I think a genuinely positive influence on her. I can also imagine Kishiya-san fighting on the mental FRONTLINES to stay as patient and kind to Fuji as she is, aswell as taking the time to talk to her and treating her like a friend. Everyone please take a moment to acknowledge her service in the troubled youth industry.

There’s also Yatsude and Kaname but they’re pretty interesting so I’ll let you develop your thoughts independently on those two. They also have ZERO buisness being the most beautiful fucking women alive. The things I’d let Kaname do to me are to be repented for.

[stellewriites]

Skittering into your inbox to ask a Very Important question about butch!Soap.

In terms of her experience with religion, where do you want her character to go? Because seeing your anon ask from the other day, and the convo we had has unlocked several ideas within me (and yes, I am projecting as a queer religious person).

Soap (not sure what the 'girl' variation of her name would be, so I'm just gonna stick with Soap/Johnny cuz why not) who grows up looking forward to Sunday mass with her family. Hates the itchy, puffy dresses something fierce, but the cadence of the hymns and the smell of incense and the ritual of it all calms her.

Soap who, upon realizing her adoration for women has gone beyond the platonic, finds herself dreading Sundays. The hymns sound louder, seem to make her ears ring. The incense, once comforting, now closes her throat. More than once does she excuse herself to the bathroom, coughing and choking on seemingly nothing.

Soap who finds herself in a weird place. Torn between two worlds, she wonders if she'll ever be able to return to the faith of her youth.

Soap who still wears the rosary her mother gifted her. Who still prays before going on missions. Who still recites the rosary while thumbing through the beads before she sleeps.

Soap who still feels a connection to the Divine despite it all.

These are just my lil thoughts, please feel free to add your own! Idk where you want to take her character, but that's completely your business!

birdy it’s like our brains are connected when it comes to these girls i’m so serious

(to answer ur question in this one her friends call her johnny as her preferred name/nickname, but her family call her johanna even tho she’s not keen)

ok so!! just a huge hell yes to Everything you said,, i’m writing this one with the mindset that she’s moved away from her family, lost the habit and a lot of the love of going each sunday. mourns the comfort and familiarity of it tho.

maybe she sticks to going during the holidays or pays a random visit during the year if she’s scraped too close to death at work, but for the most part her main connection is the cross she wears around her neck and the rosary beads she keeps in her bedside drawer - i was originally thinking of the cross being an heirloom, but after reading yours i like the idea of it being a gift and the rosary beads having been handed down from her gran.

she’d go more often but the scant looks she’s gotten from the few people there when she walks in - messy mullethawk, grafted trousers, nipple piercings visible through her shirt - had gotten to her more than she’d like to admit. whether she’s imagining their scorn or not is up to the reader; whether she’s trying to find excuses not to go to save herself from living the rejection she felt growing up and realising she liked women a second time over.

i like the idea of her keeping some of it in her day to day like you said; prayers on an evening or on a mission or over a good meal, i’d think she’s pretty open to admitting when she’s wrong and apologising to her close ones after going to confession as a teen too. small things that helped form her decisions.

cw: sacrilegious themes, using johnny’s faith as dirty talk

buuttttttt i also think her lack of traditional connection to her faith and her mixed feelings/two sides pulling at her means she plays a little fast and loose with it too - finds it hot when her partner talks dirty and brings up religion when they’re fucking. masochist to the bone, she enjoys the bit of guilt she feels in the pit of her stomach just as she’s about to cum

[gunslinginnhogtyin]

«SPELL-BOUND»   for the sender to use a spell to entrap the receiver.

"Oh, what a sweet, noble little thing you are." It's easy enough to make Butch move with the cuffs on his arms, a magical binding shackling him to the ones on his own wrists. The rest of Butch is bound in emerald thread, so he's restrained for the moment with glittering patterns across his form. The person dragging him along looks like Artair if he was rolled in dirt, had shoulder-length hair, and it lacked the usual gradient for just his yellow, with a few streaks of brown. That, and this body was healthy, filled out like he ate regular meals. But already, scales in a myriad of greens were beginning to grow in patches ion his skin, becoming more and more visible as his magical alterations began to fade and weaken. If anything he seemed stronger now, as he dragged Butch through a cavern opening.

"Your friend calls, and you come running. How...endearing." The saccharine voice pairs well with the too-wide smile, as they drag him further into the first chamber of the cavern. There's a bifurcation, and they turn right. "It's too bad. Really, you ought to have been more cautious, you are truly much too pretty to be dying this young."

The tunnel opens up from their downwards trek to a large open area, studded with countless stalagmites. Stalactites hang far above too, near the roof of the cavern. A circle of runes on the floor light an acidic green, ringing the perimeter of this large amphitheater. With a tingling thrum, the threads binding Butch are gone. Resonance yanks him a few feet further by the manacles before he can find his feet, letting out a laugh that's almost familiar as he forces him that last stumble. "But don't worry, I'm sure if you try so very hard you can make your escape. Go on, little cowboy, feel free to try."

CAPTURE MY MUSE! // @townofcadence

«SPELL-BOUND»   for the sender to use a spell to entrap the receiver.

Butch felt stupid, to say the least, for falling for such an obvious trap. The moment he thought he heard his friend in danger, he had sprung into action—only to find that it wasn’t his friend at all. In fact, he’s not sure what this thing was… but it sure resembled Artair in a few ways, albeit with a few notable differences that weren’t quite obvious from afar in the dimness of the night.

This wasn’t the first time he had been bound by magic and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, so he’s far from fearful—more so AGITATED by this unfortunate turn of events and even more so when the thing begins to taunt him as he’s dragged along off to god knows where. “Shut up.” Butch growls, struggling in his confines yet again despite knowing his attempts are futile.

Whatever this thing was, it had some sort of dark aura surrounding it—god, if only his senses were a bit sharper. Perhaps he could recognize what sort of magic this was, or what this being was in general and then he could ponder his escape with what advantages he might have had. Sadly, that had always been his old partners area of expertise. Fuck.

The cowboy makes sure to keep an eye on their surroundings, hoping that remembering the location in which they had traversed so far will assist him in some way when making his escape. If he even gets the chance, that is. He’s determined to free himself, he had been in rougher patches before—he’s sure of it! So there was really no need to panic, and he doesn’t… not until dying is mentioned, anyway.

His eyes go a little wide and a nervous laugh escapes him, and suddenly he’s much friendlier than he had been on the entire trek here. “Heyyyy now—let’s not talk like that! Heh—“ Butch swallows his disgust before continuing, “U-Uh… this… pretty lil’ thing can do other stuff too, y’know… y’don’t have t’kill me.” He tries, looking from his captor and then around himself as they enter a peculiar tunnel. What the…?

Then, he stops and Butch feels the threads binding him dissipate just before being thrown forcefully forward which indeed causes him to stumble, his tail whipping around as he tries to maintain some balance. He nearly trips but manages to catch his footing just in time, shooting a glare at the thing that had nearly knocked him over. That laugh is what really pisses him off… the fact that it sounded like Artair, it disgusted him. Among other feelings, he’s confused as to how and why exactly this is happening. Surely this guy knew Artair, right? It was no coincidence they shared scarily similar physical attributes, right? There was no telling at this point.

A growl rumbles in the back of his throat but he has to stop himself from saying anything he’ll regret; he’s in an awfully compromising situation after all. Maybe playing nice was the best course of action. It had gotten him out of many scrapes before. Gritting his teeth, he has to force a smile, scoffing loudly in response to the others mocking,

“Tch! Escape? Th’ fun’s jus’ gettin’ started, ain’t it? Y’brought me alllll th’ way out here,” He gestures around himself with his bound wrists, looking around as well before his eyes land back on Resonance, “…an’ y’want me t’ escape? Let’s have a lil’ fun first! Or ‘least make a game out’f it? C’mon, what d’ya say~?” His tone is playful now, free of any worry. He could put on a little show if it meant waiting for an open opportunity to escape.

[knarme-stray]

All the ridicculously handsome guys I've seen with their rising hairlines or balding in general make me feel not so bad about how much my hair has thinned... (not even bcs of T but because I have mystery flares of hair thinning I've had since pre-T days as well, probably burn-out and trauma related, + recently a hair dye kit I bought said "fuck you" to my scalp... 🥶)

(Many women in both sides of my family have very thin hair for some reason. I got their genes.)

But yeaahh as someone who is obsessed with my looks and has like... A tendency to view my entire face through a dysmorphia-ridden lense, hair is obviously very important to me. I need it to look decent to myself.

Ssoo yea I'm delighted that working on my self-esteem has made me feel a lot better about this hair issue, I feel that treating myself like a spoiled princess in my private life and giving myself the kind of dignity and care I need just really... Makes me feel unstoppable no matter what happens to my body.

Also I've certainly met ppl with a feminine gender expression who have visible balding, and they looked completely fine to me. They were confident and being themselves so the balding just felt like another natural bodily feature just like leg hair. Ppl can be feminine and pretty and elegant while balding visibly, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Bcs femininity is very important to myself as well (see when I was painting walls at a renovation site for a job gig last week, despite all those workman clothes I did my makeup that day bcs it's rebellion against the idea that such work is inherently masculine somehow, or would erase my feminine faggot personality lol), seeing feminine people with thinning hair or balding of any kind also really calms my anxieties about gender expression.

And while there is a whole myriad of examples of handsome manly men who are bald asf, tbh now I feel like I need to see more rep of androgynous and fem characters with thinning or balding hair. And butch women and non-cispassing transmascs and men because I feel that I navigate a kinda different landscape of looks insecurities than ppl who willingly pass as cis men.

Starting to perhaps feel more inspired for some character designs now...

[nonegenderleftpain]

genuine question, how being both pan gay and pan lesbian works? I'm queer myself (bi, demiromantic and nonbinary) but I'm little bit of confused. no need to answer tho.

It's kind of complicated - I consider myself bigender in a really complex way, and my identity is constantly shifting as I transition and as I find myself. I love women in a gay way, and as a butch, I refuse to give up the label of lesbian despite being in a relationship with one nonbinary trans guy and one cis guy. I also love men in a gay way. My attraction to my cishet partner is gay attraction, despite us meeting when I was still a girl. I didn't know what I was feeling was gay attraction - that the way that I love men was very much not the same as my straight peers - until I realized I was trans as an adult and things began to make sense. I see our relationship as a gay one, even though he's straight, because we are visibly gay and navigate the world as a gay male couple because of it, no matter the complexities that are there privately. When my paperwork goes through, I will be legally a man, even though personally I only tangentially am one, and our relationship will be beholden to laws regarding gay marriage despite transphobes still considering me a woman.

I love men, and I also love women. I am pansexual and panromantic, but my reasons for holding tight to the lesbian identity and community that raised me are very similar to the reasons I call myself a gay man. People will always interpret me through their lens. To transphobes, I'm either a man in a dress or a woman who mutilated herself. To lesbophobes with no understanding of butch histories and relationships to gender, I am a man invading lesbian spaces or a misogynistic gender traitor. To the mlm community, I'm either a femme or a sissy. None of these things are right, but none of them are entirely wrong either. And just as others can't find a box to put me in consistently or easily, I use the words I use as a political statement to say that if they try, they will not succeed. I am a lesbian. I am a gay man. I am bisexual. I am transgender. I am transsexual. I am pansexual. I am a relationship anarchist and a radical inclusionist and a cripplepunk visionary who wants to live in a world post-labels (or post-need for labels). I refuse to give up my past for the sake of my future, just because it makes others uncomfortable. Others' confusion is not my problem.

[z0ruas]

“Identifying with” vs “Identifying as”

by Jaime for “Blood and Visions: Womyn Reconciling with Being Female”

“Growing up I identified with the other little boys a lot, and with the other girls almost not at all. I identified with the rough and tumble lifestyle of the boys, and with their carefree adventuring. The girls in the neighborhood would tag along with the boys at times, but it was always tagging along. The girls were never the Captain. When the boys played street hockey, the girls came too, but they sat on the sidelines and cheered and talked. I played, of course, until I was about 9 years old and despite the extra pads and helmet my dad made me wear, he decided that it was too rough and that I couldn’t play with the boys anymore. He was right, of course, the boys were rough, but so was I! I identified with the boys.

“When I watched TV and saw a married couple, I always identified with the husband. I knew that when I eventually married that I wanted to be the one providing for the family, doling out wisdom and discipline, and being left alone to pursue my own intellectual interests whenever I wasn’t doing one of those things. That’s what I saw. I certainly didn’t identify with the idea of rearing the children and devoting my life to child, family, and house care. I wanted to be an independent person inside of a family support system. I saw that in the husband’s position.

“When I was a teenager and the young men around me were obsessed with music, body modification, and girls, I identified with them. I knew other young dykes, but the ones that I knew seemed more obsessed with being queer* than anything else, and I couldn’t relate. I identified with the simplicity of being an adolescent male, in part because nothing was really expected of them. At 15 my then-girlfriend started calling me her boyfriend and I bound for the first time. My male friends treated me like ‘one of the guys,’ which is to say, as a completely distinct phenomenon from the other females. I was able to opt out of the gross objectification of my female peers, largely through this understanding of my identification. 

“As a young adult, my identification with became my identification as. The lines had blurred, and I no longer saw the distinction - if I had seen it at all up until that point. I became one of the young men, instead of the one female allowed in our boys’ club. My identity was affirmed from all directions in my social circle.

“It wasn’t until many years later that I really had to start detangling the differences between identifying with the men in my life, versus identifying as a man. I think that if I had had Butch women or other young Butches in my life at some of these critical moments, I would have identified with them, instead of males. The sad fact is that Butch women and the Butch experience is not really something that is accessible or visible to the vast majority of our youth. As a young person, so much of one’s sense of self is shaped by one’s role models, that it seems no wonder that a young GNC female would feel identity and kinship with males.

“I am most motivated by myself ten or twenty years ago to keep pushing and keep being visible. It is sometimes very hard to stand up and talk about my dysphoria or my transition, but I think it’s worth it for future generations. Our young Butches and GNC females need to see their lives and experiences reflected in a way that is positive about being female and accepting one’s body. I just want to be the example that I wish I had as a child. If I can show even one young woman that she is completely in charge of her body and the way she uses it to express herself, then I will have accomplished my goal. I think there are a lot of us that need this healing visibility.”

[auditect]

A theory regarding "Putting the Air back in Aerodactyl!".

"Putting the Air back in Aerodactyl!" is an Episode of Pokémon Chronicles. This Episode, while not the best the series has to offer, does hold a special place in my heart beause this Episode is actually what got me back into the franchise, believe it or not! One night I remembered being a fan of Butch and Cassidy when I was younger, so I decided to rewatch one of their Episodes, and this was the only one I could find on YouTube. So, I got back into the franchise, eventually decided to buy a DVD of Pokémon Chronicles, and this Episode happened to be on it. So, I thought it would be fitting if it would be the first Episode I checked out on the disc.

However, this time I couldn't help but notice a big plot hole, and I came up with a little conspiracy theory to fix it.

Let's go over the plot. Gary invites his grandfather Samuel and his assistant Tracey over to the Sayda Lab to show him the Aerodactyl he managed to clone. However, like cloned Pokémon tend to do in this franchise, Aerodactyl destroyed the lab and escaped. Because Dr. Namba hired Butch and Cassidy to capture the Aerodactyl for him, the two of them arrive on the Island at the same time. The Aerodactyl causes a bit of havoc, attacking both the pro- and antagonists of the Episode, and Professor Oak fears what damage it could do if it were to reach a city. These fears are disspelled once it's revealed that Aerodactyl never actually leaves the Island because it feels at home there.

Here's where the plothole comes in. If Aerodactyl never leaves the Island, how did Dr. Namba know it was there? It wasn't visible from off the Island and the Island dosen't seem to be inhabited by any humans other than Gary, Dora, Crystal and Jared. There's absolutely no way Namba could have possibly known about this...

...unless, of course, one of these four characters tipped him off! You heard me right, "Putting the Air back in Aerodactyl!" was an inside job!

As Butch and Cassidy are regularily seen getting intel from undercover informants all throughout Pokémon Chronicles, so it is certainly very likely this happened again here. But who was this secret informant? Let's take a look at our four suspects:

Gary Oak

While Blue joining Team Rocket is a popular theory within the games, I don't think it holds true in the context of this Episode. He is actively fighting off and even defeats Butch and Cassidy, which wouldn't make sense if he was in cahoots with them all along. Plus, if he wanted to do something as morally heinous as cloning an Aerodactyl for the sole purpose of selling it to Team Rocket, he wouldn't have invited his own grandfather over to witness him do it.

Gary Oak is NOT the spy.

Dora

Dora is the head scientist at the Sayda Lab, and she and . While she never fights Butch and Cassidy directly, she does express concern regarding Aerodactyl, and she does bring fourth the Idea to gain Aerodactyl's trust with fruit. If she were the spy, she would have most likely kept the Idea from the others.

She is likely not the spy.

Crystal

The younger sister of Dora, Crystal is easily the least likely canidate to be the spy. She's also directly fights off Team Rocket and her very young age makes it highly unlikely she has a secret connection to a crime syndicate.

Crystal is absolutely not the Spy.

Jared

"The name's Jared. I'm a research & development assistant at the Sayda lab and I'm here to pick you up and take you out to the Island. I gotta say, Professor Oak, it is an honor to meet you!"

Easily the most forgettable character in the entire Episode. Despite getting a whole introduction scene, I don't believe he has any dialogue once they arrive on the Island. Like Dora, he dosen't call fourth a Pokémon to fight off Team Rocket, he comes up with no helpful Ideas and he never even seems to express any kind of concern regarding Aerodactyl or Team Rocket. All he does in the Episode is ferry over Samuel and Tracey over to the Island and make a bit of smalltalk with them. There's no reason why his place in the Episode couldn't have also been filled by Dora...unless, of course, Jared had a secret part to play that we didn't know about!

By the way, isn't it a little bit suspicious that Butch and Cassidy were watching Jared's boat depart, almost as if they knew he would be there?

"Those two fools are propably headed to the same place we are!"

What makes you think that, Cassidy?

No really, think about this for a second. Butch and Cassidy notice two people they don't like on a harbour and immediately come to the conclusion that they are also going to see Aerodactyl. Even if we assume that they managed to eavesdrop into their whole conversation without being noticed, neither Tracey nor Oak ever mentoined Aerodactyl because they didn't yet know about it at that point!

Or could it be that Cassidy came to that conclusion because she recognized Jared and knew about his ties to Aerodactyl?

If Jared is not a spy, then the villians know about things they couldn't possibly have been aware of and the Episode introduces a completely useless character for no given reason. If Jared is a spy, all of this makes sense.

I'm tagging my favourite people to discuss Team Rocket-related matters with, @brainyxbat. @trsilvers and @annadoglover1, I would heavily value your insight on this.

Also, this isn't related to the theory, but I also noticed that Butch messes up the Motto in this Episode. He concludes it with "Or prepare to fight", like James, not "Or you'll surely lose the right."

[psychiatric-warfare]

theres a Very butch girl in one of my classes at college and during a peer review i had to read a personal essay of hers that she decided to do on how people treat her as a butch woman and it was very powerful to read

it was some time ago, but to sum up, she wrote about being ostracised and how women often treat her as if she doesn't belong in women's spaces. that her very presence in a bathroom makes other women visibly uncomfortable - despite the fact that she's a cis woman. there is not, nor has there ever been a debate on allowing cis women in women's spaces, but when it comes to butches, they are still considered and treated as just as much of a "threat".

i wish i could fully portray how powerful her words were, but i think these points are important for people to recognise

mfers will be like "transmascs are privileged because no one cares if a girl crossdresses" as if stone butch blues is not a book full of horrific state violence against that exact thing & the ways it impacts transmascs