#she's her north star :( wtf
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"I've been searching, all of my life,
Finally I've found my north star."
#my art#splatoon#pearl houzuki#marina ida#splatoon 2#pearlina#grand fest splatoon#grand festival#off the hook#three wishes#splatoon 3#ive listened to this song like 50 time by now it had no right to be this GOOD#also this part in specific has been in my head for a while i had to draw#she's her north star :( wtf#babies#wives#also baby rina and punk pearl are my life my everything
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My theory on Sampo's true identity...
(Minor Spoilers for 2.4) (also, I’m no expert in… anything, really, but these are just my ramblings).
So, this has probably been mentioned before, but I have a teeny-tiny theory about Sampo’s true identity, and it relates to Finnish mythology.
So, “Sampo” in and of itself doesn’t have a set meaning, but it has its roots in Finnish mythology, particularly the “Kalevala” which is a 19th-century compilation of epic poetry. In it, a blacksmith god by the name of Seppo Ilmari(nen) forges the mythical device known as “The Sampo”. It’s never quite explained what The Sampo really is; some versions depict it as a mill, others as a cornucopia from which bountiful creations flow from, and some even have it as being a world tree/world pillar, so what The Sampo really is, isn’t entirely known. But, what is known, is that it brought riches and good fortune to its holder (again, the same as the cornucopia from Greek mythology).
But why am I mentioning all of this? Why bring up the Kalevala? It could be that Hoyo just chose the name “Sampo” for some flavour—befitting of a character who magics up relics from seemingly thin air and is trying to create riches—and yeah, it’s a possibility…
Until I saw these two screenshots from the 2.4 story:
You know what this means, right?
Kalevala is a real planet in Hoyo’s Star Rail universe, and I find it awfully coincidental that they would use this name for a planet and not have it related to a certain blue haired conman, especially since The Sampo is such a pivotal element in the plot of the Kalevala—there is no way this is a coincidence (I refuse to believe it).
This leads me to believe that Kalevala is Sampo’s real home world, and is where he originates from.
Now, this is all well and good, knowing where “The Sampo” hails from, but I want to focus on its creator—Seppo Ilmari(nen)—and his parallels to a certain blue haired conman. For one, Ilmari(nen)’s name is quite interesting as the ‘Ilma’ part is Finnish for ‘air’ or ‘weather’, and as we know, Sampo’s element is that of ‘wind’ (And also the fact that Ilmari(nen) is credited as “Godlike smith-hero and creator of the sky”. I could go into a whole spiel about Ilmari(nen) and Qlipoth swinging their giant hammers in tandem together for all eternity (Go Sampard! Geppie is Qlipoth's true heir, you can't convince me otherwise!), but that’s for another conspiracy theory lol).
So, ‘Ilma’ means ‘air’, and Sampo wields ‘wind’.
Cool.
If the parallels ended there, I’d just say I was being crazy… but there’s more.
Sampo’s 4th (and arguably best) eidolon is called “The Deeper the Love, the Stronger the Hate”. Two out of his six eidolons refer to 'love', whilst the other 4 are to do with wealth and riches. The wealth and richest aspect leans towards The Sampo of mythology, whilst the ‘love’ aspect, well…
According to the story, Seppo Ilmari(nen) is the unluckiest bastard alive when it comes to love. Like, seriously. His whole storyline is that he can’t find a woman. For one, Seppo Ilmari(nen) is double crossed by his so called buddy, Väinämöinen, into creating The Sampo for the evil witch Louhi of Pohjola in exchange for her daughter’s hand in marriage (which, Ilmari didn’t even want in the beginning), but when the poor guy actually sees the daughter and falls in love with her (and subsequently creates the Sampo—after failing miserably a number of times, mind you—he creates a crossbow, a boat, a cow(wtf?) and a plough, all which are somehow either evil or flawed), she ups and just leaves him hanging! (in the original runes, however, he is successful in gaining a wife, as his ‘unlucky in love’ spiel was later added by Lönnrot in compiling the Kalevala).
As with any mythology and re-telling of it, there’s so many different versions of the same event. In “The Maiden of the North”, a 1898 opera written by Oskar Merikanto, both Ilmarinen and Väinämöinen compete for the chance to marry Louhi’s daughter, who is then mentioned as being “Ilmari(nen)’s first wife” and who later dies to Kullervo’s curse (apparently she was a bit of a bitch to Kullervo by taunting and tormenting the poor boy—who was a child slave mind you!). Distraught, Ilmari(nen) forges himself a wife of gold and silver, but he finds her to be too cold and callous—he forges her out of love but only finds hate—so he tries to gift her to Väinämöinen (who doesn’t want her either, lol), and suggests he cast her back into the furnace and to “forge from her a thousand trinkets”.
Here’s the accompanying poem:
Never, youths, however wretched,
Nor in future, upgrown heroes,
Whether you have large possessions,
Or are poor in your possessions,
In the course of all your lifetime,
While the golden moon is shining,
May you woo a golden woman,
Or distress yourselves for silver,
For the gleam of gold is freezing,
Only frost is breathed by silver.
It is apparently your standard Aesop’s fable of “money can’t buy happiness”, which is something else I see in our dear old Sampo Koski. During our time in Belobog, we see how different he acts with the Underworld and Overworlders. To the poor, he actually seems approachable (albeit a bit of a nuisance), going so far as to help the Underworlders (an example being the questline “Survival Wisdom” in which he and Peak set up a business together renting out his tools to help the miners make a decent wage to support their families). In contrast, we actively see Sampo being very hostile towards the Overworlders, scamming them and putting the nobles in their place or setting them up to be caught by the Silvermane Guards (an example being during the museum questline where you discover his identity as “Mr Cold Feet”. Sampo clearly states to who he thinks is his mark that ‘we are not friends’ in a very hostile manner, something which we’ve not seen from Sampo before as he is usually quite amicable).
For all Sampo’s showboating and flashing his money around, he helps where it counts. He wants to make money, sure, but not at the detriment of the people who need it the most, only to those with excess.
Anyway, back to him being unlucky in love…
In another rune entitled “Kosinta”, Ilmari(nen) goes on a journey to compete for Hiisi’s daughter, and wins by completing various feats, one of them being “ploughing a field full of snakes”:
And as we know, Sampo is very heavy on the snake motifs (the head of the snake on his shoulders, the spine wrapped around him, the daggers are its fangs…etc.)
So that’s another interesting link between Seppo Ilmari(nen) and Sampo Koski.
So, why have I gone on this long winded tangent about Seppo Ilmari(nen) when I’m supposed to be talking about Sampo Koski?
Well, that’s because I think Sampo Koski’s real name is (or a variant of) Ilmarinen.
In the Hoyo universe, I believe Ilmarinen came from the planet Kalevala and ‘created’ the persona of Sampo Koski, much like how in the Kalevala, Seppo Ilmari(nen) forged The Sampo.
As I’ve listed above, there’s so many links between the two:
“Air” as a name and “Wind” as an element.
Seppo Ilmari(nen) ploughed a field of snakes to win Hiisi’s daughter’s hand in marriage, whilst Sampo Koski relies heavily on snake motifs for his attire.
Sampo’s two eidolon names that relate to love (which are completely different from the other 4 eidolon names), whilst Seppo Ilmari(nen) is known to be unlucky in love.
I’m pretty damn sure Sampo creates his own bombs and tinkers with the old relics to bring them back to life, whereas Seppo Ilmari(nen) is a smith who created the dome of the sky! They’re both artificers!
And now the revelation that a planet by the name of “Kalevala” exists is no mere coincidence.
So, either Sampo is Ilmari(nen) - or! - Sampo is a puppet (like Herta) created by someone called Ilmari(nen).
(I would love if his 5* version is him with this name).
Right, I’m finished rambling. Gonna go huff some copium...
#honkai star rail#sampo koski#hsr#Sampo#fan theory#theorycrafting#huffing the copium#I really need a 5* of this man#There's probably a bunch of stuff I've missed...#I am literally dying for Sampo content#I WANNA GO BACK TO BELOBOG!#Seriously when I saw the name 'Kalevala' show up as a planet name I lost my shit#Kalevala#finnish mythology
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intro post <3
don't mind me editing this like every single day lol
my dm's and askbox is always open if u want to talk <3
anons are welcome too <3
also if u want to make new friends i am right here pls say hi im fucking lonely😭
anyways
BELOVED MOOTS <33333 (everyone is tagging them and this is fun)
this in no particular order just whoever pops up on my dash or smth idk. not every moots just the ones i actually know lol. ok so
@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon THEY'RE AMAZING LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF BECAUSE OMG KJHLGJKFJHLKYFJHKJGL
@ma-lan13 HELP MY BESTIE IRL GOT TUMBLR OMG OMG. AND SHES ACTUALLY USING IT WTF?????? ANYWAYS SHES THE BEST <333
@bloophasarrived SHE'S THE SWEETEST AND SO WONDERFUL. HER PERSONALITY SPARKLES AND OMG SHE'S SO FUN AHHH
@marylily-my-beloved I LOVE HERRR WE HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS. SO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW ME SO WELL <3333
@im-just-here4853 my vent buddy omg we just vent to each other i love her so much idk what i would do without her <33
@im-on-crack-send-help TWINNING IN LITERALLY EVERYTHING. SAME MUSIC TASTE. SAME TASTE IN FOOD. IN DRINKS. IN THE WAY WE THINK. WTF. ANYWAYS SHE'S MY POOKIE I LOVE HER <333
@the-gay-skeleton-in-ur-closet THEY'RE THE BEST OMGGGGG and they're nice and cool and shit <333333 i'm quoting myself it's fine AND LIKE SO NICE AND GOOFY AND EVERYTHING OMG
@cubemagnet somene i met on a random post and now we occasionally team up to correct grammar lol 🤓🤓🤓 anyways she's amazing :D and everything she says is so iconic like isjflsrijglruhglsuglijrsg
@book-girl4eva SHE'S AMAZINGGGGG. IT'S SO EASY TO GOOF AROUND W HER I LOVE IT. SHE ALWAYS SLAYS SO HARD. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SLAYS. idk if you'll see this but this is for u pookie <3
@mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am ??? questioning why we're moots. but he's literally so nice. literally will be my therapist and help me w maths because that shit is impossible 😭
@dandelionflowery omg literally so kind and everything all the time. so fun fun reading their fics and doing shit together omg
@sweetwarmcookies16 OMG RIJGDJFGIJFGIF THE BEST I LOVE PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER AND TALKING AND EVERYTHING. ALSO AN AMAZING WRITER
idk brain isnt braining ill add ppl as i go along
moodboards made by my lovely lovely moots <3
so far i only have one here cause i forgot to link the previous ones whoops 😭😭😭
about me
i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. minor. literally the biggest procrastinator and so disorganised i dare u to find someone worse than me. i'm indian but i live in australia. bengali/north indian idk. band kid :D my pinterest is here. PLEASE DM ME IF U WANT TO. I NEED FRIENDS. IM AWKWARD AND BAD AT MAKING CONVERSATION BUT STILL PLS 😭😭😭
personality/star sign or whatever
according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(
time zone
Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think?? SUCK ON THAT AMERICANS AND WHOEVER ELSE EHHEHEHHEHE ;LSDJFSFJIJFDJF;LJ
my music taste
i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter and honestly a lot of other stuff lol. also love bollywood music.
favourite books and authors
i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the inheritance games, agggtm, literally all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, pjo and hoo, lorien legacies, the selection, powerless, soc, girl in pieces, dictionary of lost words and bookbinder of jericho, all the books by amish, and a bunch of other books.
dni
idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf
tag games and shit
yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol
tags
i don't post that much stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?
fandoms!
i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i love love love hermitcraft. i'm an ethogirl literally who doesn't love etho?? also really into trafficblr. i literally love six of crows so much like omg. desperately trying to get through the magnus archives im only 8 years late haha i also love kotlc sm. (team foster-keefe forever!) i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen cause omg. aaaand also a bunch of other shit but those are the main ones idk bro
i'm bored and this is too long already might as well add more so here are a bunch of userboxes :D
and that's all not because i have self control but because there is a limit to images per post 😭😭😭 i literally had to delete some of my aesthetic images for this soooo
all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.
my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here
the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good
IK THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND I KEEP ON ADDING SHIT MORE SHIT SO IF U ACTUALLY LIKE READ TO THE BOTTOM THIS HERE IS FOR U LMFAO ILYSM <333333
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CME 17x06 Reaction/Spoilers Pt. 2 (The Jemily Ep)
Had to split into a second part lol. The first part is here. (thanks once again @blackbirdsaltzman!)
JJ not wanting Emily to quit :(
Luke speaking Spanish! Luke speaking Spanish! I called it for this season!
Omg Luke saying he still loves Penelope 😭😭😭
"Dating a coworker is a bad idea" omg
Rossi and Voit again
Video games? Hmm
Quest games?
Idk a lot of shit about conspiracy theories but do video games really help structure them?
Jade and Damien are searching for clues...
Voit's so done with him haha
"North Star is where it all starts"
"when you're lost and desperate and on a quest. all you want is something to connect the dots."
Jade and Damien might want to blame this North Star
Stuart House possibly was used to create serial killers... huh.
I mean, he's not wrong. A profile is an educated guess.
Yoo wtf Gasper
Back at the Stuart House
Dang Tyler
Luke and Tyler about movies! Omg I might actually like this beginning of a possibly beautiful friendship lol
"Hoo-ah!" Luke my boy! They're totally going to have movie marathons together now after that case hahahaha
Jemily scene #4 🥰😭👀🥺 (I have so many thoughts on this that it deserves a completely separate post)
I fucking called it! Chopsticks is now a jemily thing!!
Omg wait
Jemily is now officially cheetobreath stoner X salt and vinegar chip stoner (+chopsticks as their child 🥰)!!!
JJ's still so far gone lol "These are brilliant" as she's playing with her chopsticks
"All those years with cheesy fingers?" and the little mind-blown🤯 is so cute. JJ learning it from Emily now ahhh
"Shit. What was I talking about?" JJ swearing again yesss hahaha
"Gideon, Hotch, what do they have in common?" They're all men. Oh. That works too.
"They left. The two of us, we were kicked out." I honestly thought JJ was going to say "fucking kicked out" here ngl
"we're still here, Emily. We are stronger than anyone gives us credit for" oh 🥺
JJ finally getting fed up with Emily saying she'll quit. She doesn't want Emily to quit 🥺
"I didn't quit on you in Paris." Paris mention! Also ouch.
"You didn't quit on me after my miscarriage" "Oh, god damn it" Double ouch!! And JJ's voice shaking when she says it omg 😭😭
So Emily canonically knows about JJ's miscarriage then. I got a little one shot if you want to read it hehe (may be another on the way...)
"This job takes a lot, but you know what it gives? It gives me... y-you" oh FUCK 😭😭😭 my heart!!
Shipping or not, this is such a powerful moment for JJ and Emily. And this whole scene was definitely also a huge fuck you to CBS and a nod to what AJ and Paget went through in season 6 behind the scenes with the network. I highly recommend listening to AJ and Paget's podcast eps in Michael Kahan's "Funny in Failure" on youtube or anywhere you listen to podcasts on.
And yes, I got a whole lotta thoughts behind this scene.
"I'll support you, I will. Always." Omg JJ 😭😭😭
The way JJ looks at Emily before looking away and starting to cry aaaahhh 😭 and Emily looking at JJ 🥺 god I love this ship so much!! You can never take away their relationship and special connection from me or JJ or Emily, no matter how hard you try!
"Oh shit, it's Rossi" another shit from JJ haha
Emily deciding she'll stay bc of JJ. For JJ's sake 🥺 fuuuuuck I love them so goddamn much
“Grab your keys, let’s fucking roll” ok love JJ and Emily swearing in the same scene hahaha
JJ's "yes!" hahaha she's like "I knew it would work"
"I can't- I can't drive" lol "Rideshare?" There's a missing scene in the rideshare car ride huh?
Omg not the howl 😭
I seriously feel like they're trying to set Luke and Teresa up
Lol not JJ chugging down water 😭😭 she's still out of it
Also girly how are you fully standing right now??
JJ trying to focus but she's still "wooo" like she was trying to focus on the papers in Emily's hands
Not her shaking it off when Emily hands them to her omg. AJ thank you for that
So Gideon and Rossi were working on drafts for this assignment of the study of serial killers, a hypothetical scenario
Isolation in worse conditions.... controlled and directed?
But who would else would know about Gold Star?
"North Star is us, the BAU."
Oof the last shot of the team (and Tyler ig) being a "star" around the roundtable ooooh
And that's it! Also request to have more high/stoned jemily content for future seasons??
#jemily#jennifer jareau#emily prentiss#criminal minds#criminal minds evolution#cme s17 spoilers#cme season 17 spoilers#cme 17x06
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Aspirations pt. 6 - The Finale!
Sydcarmy Masterlist
Aspirations previous chapters: CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5
Full Masterlist
Here we go, it's the end 😥 I hope this chapter wraps everything up for you and you enjoy it. I've had an absolute ball writing this - loved every second! Thank you so much for reading, commenting, sending the sweetest messages - you guys are AMAZING! 😘
We switch it over to Carmy's POV and there is also some smut in this here chapter 🔥
I listened to a couple of songs in particular when I wrote this chapter - Hozier Take Me to Church just had me picturing Carmy worshiping Syd for like, the rest of his damn life, and Taylor Swift Dress - in particular the bridge:
There is an indentation in the shape of you
Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
All of this silence and patience
Pining and anticipation
My hands are shaking from holding back from you
Anyway, enough talking. Fingers crossed I stuck the landing with this 9k (wtf?!) final chapter! 💜
~~~~~~~~
From the moment she stepped into his office and asked what he was doing in Chicago, he knew he was in trouble. She'd painstakingly won over every member of the crew one by one, called him out on his bullshit and helped build The Bear up from literal rubble. She'd stabbed Richie and then become one of his closest friends within the space of 6 months, she'd been a source of support for Nat, and she'd raised up Tina and Marcus in particular. In short, he had no idea how he'd gotten to this point of his life without her in his corner, but he knew now that he couldn't live without her. She was his constant, his north star, his fucking guiding light. He could acknowledge that to himself right away, but it took those final days before opening for him to realize that Syd was also pure love. Real, raw and honest. Not some dreamlike, fictional, glossed over version, but messy and sometimes very fucked up. The last thing he'd wanted to do was destroy it, so he'd taken what he'd thought was the safest path - to hold it at arm's length and protect it. Protect her.
“I thought… I thought we could get over what you said in the walk-in. I thought I could be the one to show you that you can have the things you talked about. That damn restaurant doesn’t have to run you into the ground - you can have a life as well, you know?” He didn’t say anything, looked at his hands and tried to find the words to apologize.
“The restaurant is my life, Claire. It was never fair for me to expect you to put up with that. I promise I never intended to make you second best, you deserve so much fucking more than that. But I can’t be the one to give it to you. I’ve got too much shit going on and I can’t drag you into it.”
“So you’re finally calling it?” She sighed. He nodded,
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too, Carmen. I don’t know what you think you deserve or what you're looking for… but for what it’s worth I do hope you find it. Don’t end up like Mikey.” He studied his hands, he could make out a faint crescent shape on his palm, in the soft pad under his thumb, from where Syd had gripped his hand with her own last night in the kitchen. Their kitchen. He had a faint bite mark on his shoulder as well, a small bruise. He wondered vaguely if she had similar marks.
“I’m sorry, Claire.”
He felt like a weight had been lifted. Not from breaking things off with Claire, although that was certainly the catalyst, but from the weight of expectation. He’d gone from the restaurant to take Syd home, where they’d shyly said goodbye. He’d then gone home and slept for all of three hours before deep cleaning his apartment. He was on Claire’s doorstep with coffee before 9am and in Natalie’s kitchen by 11am.
“I broke it off with Claire.” He said quietly, taking the bottle of milk and checking the temperature on the back of his hand.
“I know.”
“Did she call you already?” Satisfied with the temperature, he leaned Mikey back and put the silicone teat to his mouth.
“No honey, I just know. Sit him up a little more, it might take him a minute to settle - breastfed babies don’t always take to bottles, so sometimes he needs a little bit of encouragement. That’s it, perfect.” She guided his elbow into a more comfortable position and watched with pride as Mikey fed.
“Aren’t you going to ask why?”
“No. I want you to want to tell me.” She put her feet up next to his on the coffee table. “Y’know, it’s not the best time to learn shit - immediately after having a baby. Hormones, lack of sleep, you’re bleeding like a fucking murder victim… but they just kick you right out of that hospital and say ‘see ya later’ and you’re expected to know how to breastfeed them, how to burp them, change them, understand their every need… it’s fucked up. And no one mothers the mother, y’know?”
“You have a Pete.”
“I do have a Pete, and he is incredible. Gets right in there with the shit and the vomit.” She laughed, “It’s not Mikey’s job to teach me those things. It’s not his responsibility to be a ‘good’ baby, whatever the fuck that means. His job is just ‘baby’.”
“Where’re you going with this, Nat?”
“You don’t call me Sugar anymore.” She stated.
“No. I try not to.”
“Why?”
“I guess I don’t want you to feel put down. It’s not a nice nickname, it didn’t come from a nice place.”
“No. It was a way of belittling me. It was another way for mom to make me feel shitty about myself. And you recognizing that, Carmy? Tells me you’re on the right path. Sit him up and put your hand under his chin, now rub his back.” He did as he was told, waiting for her to continue. “I… I’ve realized a lot in the last few months. Pretty much since mom didn’t show up to Family Night?”
“Oh yeah?” Mikey let out a loud burp, making them both smile.
“I’m not responsible for her, I never was. We didn’t fail her as kids, she failed us as a mother, Carmen. She was emotionally manipulative, she didn’t always care for us properly and now as adults, we are fucked up because of her.” Carmy turned to look at Nat, expecting tears, but she looked at peace. “I have had to work really hard to unlearn some of the stuff I thought was right but really isn’t.” She turned her full body to address him properly, “Claire told me what you said when you were in the walk-in? I didn’t get it word for word, but something about not needing to give or receive amusement or enjoyment?” Mikey balled his little fists as he finished the bottle, Carmy sat him back up for another burp under Nat’s watchful eye. She nodded as he put his hand under the baby’s chin to help him.
“Yeah, I said some pretty dark shit.”
“It’s not true. You do need to receive those things - that’s what makes a life, Carmy. And just because you feel like you didn’t deserve to get those things from Claire, or want to give them to her, doesn’t mean you don’t already provide them unintentionally. You do it for everyone who works for us, our friends. For Richie, for Syd, for Mikey… I think you need to think about the difference between doing something intentionally and unintentionally. They’re not a party piece or a grand gesture. They’re supposed to be as natural as breathing. So when you buy Richie a pack of smokes cos you know he’s about to run out, when you give Tina a random night off just cos she looks a bit tired?”
“That’s just… it’s -”
“It’s love, Carmy. It’s love. And if you found it hard with Claire, if it didn’t come easily, then it’s not because you’re a disgustingly horrible human being! It’s simply because you don’t love her. You can’t force that feeling. It’ll destroy you.” He felt her eyes on him, watching him as he put the baby on his legs so he could sit up and face them both. “I love you, Carmy. You have got to stop being your own worst enemy and actually let us love you.” Mikey gurgled and held up a little fist, “or this kid is gonna kick your ass.” She teased, Mikey giggled.
“You’re right.”
“I know I am. You gonna stay for lunch?” She asked, getting up and clearing their coffee cups.
“Yeah. Yo, Nat?” She turned back to look at him, “I love you too.”
*
On Monday, with Nat’s words still ringing in his ear, Carmy made his way through the front of the restaurant and locked the door behind him. He could see through the window to the kitchen immediately, Syd was at one of the stations with her back to the window, swaying on the spot and… singing?
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy - no, no Chef, that’s Auntie Syd’s knife and your mama would fucking kill me if you touch it. I’ll teach you when you’re a little older - when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take - please don’t take the broccoli, you are just like your Uncle Carmy, do you know that? - Please don’t take my sunshine away.” She turned and he could see that she had Mikey in a baby carrier strapped to her chest and facing outwards, “You’re too cute. Oh! Happy smile! You like being called a cutie, huh? Well, it won’t last forever so take it while you can buddy. Although, Jesus kid, if you keep those baby blues then we’re all doomed. Trust me, I was totally fucking gone the day I stepped into this place.” He watched her wipe down where she’d been chopping vegetables and put the knife away. She moved out of sight but came back with a small cup of flour which she sprinkled onto the work surface, “there you go baby Bear, shall we draw in the flour? Shall we make a chef outta you when you're older? Just like Uncle Carmy and Uncle Mikey. That’s right! You like Uncle Carmy, huh? Me too, Chef, high five!” The baby babbled and waved his hands wildly in the flour, covering them both in fine powder, “I didn’t know Uncle Mikey, but I promise mama and Uncle Carmy will tell you all about him. Hey, Chef, we don’t put our hands in our mouth when we’re working, ok? It’s gross. For other people, I mean.” She pulled a towel from her apron and wiped his hands and mouth. Her voice dropped a little and she spoke so quietly he couldn’t hear her for a few minutes, but he stayed near the door, watching her brush flour out of Mikey’s curls and clearing up their mess. “... and when you’re 16 you can come and work here with me and Uncle Carmy and we’ll teach you everything. You’ll get so good when he teaches you. And then when you’re bigger you can go with Marcus to wherever Luca is and learn pastry.” He cried out a little, “I know, I know. I feel the same about pastry, Chef, but you gotta learn the whole thing if you’re gonna be as good as Uncle Carm, right? Shall we get you one of those bullshit fuckin’ stars? Yeah? Baby Berzatto, the youngest Michelin star holder in the whole fuckin’ world?” She twirled on the spot as he giggled. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he watched her moving around the kitchen, getting ingredients out and putting them in the correct sections, checking off the list on what needed to be done and when. So busy, and yet taking time with his nephew with such care and love. He was blown away initially, but instantly remembered what he’d said to her under the table at Family night,
“You love taking care of people.” He pushed through the swing door and she looked up with a smile,
“Hey Mikey, look! Uncle Carm’s here.” She said brightly, ignoring his statement. Mikey kicked his legs in free air from his carrier and waved his chubby arms around. “Is it me or does he, like, age so much so quickly?”
“He rolled over yesterday,” Carmy told her with a smile,
“Fuck off, no way?!”
“For real. And uhh, I think I just unlocked a new favorite kitchen memory.” She looked up sharply, a shy smile breaking out across her face.
“Hmm. Well at least this one is family friendly.” She retorted.
“Ahh yeah. Think I’ll keep the other one quiet. Where’s Nat?”
“Just running a couple of errands. I said I’d watch Mikey so she could get them done quicker. I was here early.”
“Trouble sleeping?”
“Something like that.”
“Heard. Can we talk later?”
“Sure. We’ll find some time.”
“Ok, good. Can I take him, is that ok?”
“God, please do, he’s heavy!” She put a hand on Mikey’s belly and unclipped one of the straps so that Carmy could lift him up and out of the carrier, then she unclipped the whole thing and went to hang it up in the office.
“So you’re gonna coach him to a star, huh?”
“How much did you hear?” She asked warily. He waved a hand, brushing off her embarrassment,
“Just the star.”
“Good. I’m taking advantage of being able to talk shit about you while he doesn’t understand.” She teased. He didn’t call her out on the lie. Nat came back and the others started to arrive. Mikey was happily passed around various sections all morning while Nat worked. Carmy took him through to the office just as she was packing her bag,
“Ready to take him back?”
“For sure, I’ve missed him! Hi sweetheart - have you had fun with your kitchen family out there?!” She cooed. “You ok, how’re you feeling today?” She asked Carmy.
“Yeah, I’m good. Been thinking about everything you said yesterday. I’m gonna just… soak this in a little, I guess?” He gestured out to the kitchen where there was happy chatter. Tina was telling a dirty joke, and as the punchline landed, he heard Syd and Richie’s roars of laughter.
“I think that’s a very good idea. Be with the ones you love, Carm and for fucksake let us love you back.”
“Yes, Chef.” He smiled.
“It’s not a cure to being a better person, but it’s a start.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m… I’m really… it’s good to get back to this, right?” He pointed between them both,
“Getting along? Yeah, Carm. It’s good.” She put the baby into the carseat and stood to hug him tightly. “I love you.” She whispered.
*
“It’s fucking freezing out here.” Syd complained, he could see her pulling her jacket tighter around her, trying to shrink into it further. Underneath, she’d pulled on his sweater - yet again - and Richie’s gloves which were miles too big for her hands.
“Next time, I’ll find somewhere warm for us to talk?” He teased,
“That’d be ideal, thanks. So what’s up?”
“Just thought we should… y’know, check in?”
“After Saturday night?”
“Yeah. You ok?”
“Well, it’s a little weird. And totally fucked up. But I don’t want to go back to barely speaking to you. Like, I’ll put up with this insane awkwardness just so I don’t have to avoid you.”
“I hated when you avoided me.”
“Me too.” She said, studying the broken glass shards mingling with the concrete on the ground.
“I broke up with Claire.” She didn’t look up, but he saw her eyes widen a little.
“Oh. How’d it go?”
“About as well as you’d expect.”
“Yeah.” She breathed, puffs of air visible. They fell silent again.
“And I had a really good talk with Nat. About, like, fuckin’ parental trauma and all that shit and how it effects us as we get older? It’s fucked up.”
“It is. I’ve talked to her about it before as well.” He looked up, surprised, “You weren’t talking to her. Not really. Or not listening, at least. She just wanted to feel heard.” He nodded,
“I just… I want you to know that I want to be a better person. I know I’ve said it a million fucking times, I was always trying to do it for someone else though? I thought I should be doing it for you or Nat, but I should be doing it for myself.”
“You can’t be better for us if you’re not doing it for yourself. My dad’s sister always said you can’t pour from an empty cup.” She mused.
“How do you do it?” He asked, curiously.
“I listen to my heart. Figure out what it needs. I watch movies with my dad, I laugh with my friends in there,” she pointed into the restaurant, “I cook for them. I cook for you or Nat or my dad. I hang out with Mikey. I watch you cook. I let my family look after me and love me when I need it. Like you said, I love taking care of people, but it’s nice to have it returned.”
“You’re too fuckin’ smart for this place.”
“Fuck off,” she pushed his shoulder,
"You watch me cook?"
"Yeah, I do. It's… therapeutic. Oh, and if you think that just because you broke up with Claire I’m gonna jump -”
“I would never expect that. Never. Let’s just… get back to where we were and then see what happens?” He suggested, taking her hand. She nodded,
“Great idea, Chef.” He kissed her palm and listened to Tina singing from the kitchen.
*
Carmy could tell Richie was about to hit the roof. He bounced on his heels and fidgeted for the last hour of service but everytime someone asked, he’d give them the brush off.
“Chef, could you tell Richie to take a step back please?” Syd sighed, rolling her eyes at Richie who was standing so closely behind her she could hardly use her knife. Carmy laughed,
“C’mon cousin, back it up. Whatever it is, why don’t you just tell us?”
“Can’t, we need to wait til we’re closed.”
“Well then get the fuck outta our kitchen and encourage people to finish up?” Carmy smiled at Syd’s use of our kitchen.
“Fine, fine but you guys wait. You just fuckin’ wait.”
“Can I have another 3 duck and 2 sirloin please?”
“Yes, Chef.” The crew chimed back to him. Tina brought the plum sauce over for him to try,
“Needs something, Syd, check this?” He handed her a spoon,
“Half a teaspoon of the winter spice mix.”
“Exactly. Thank you. Tina, you ok with that, Chef?”
“Sure thing Jeff.”
“Let it incorporate for another five minutes, we’ve got time.”
“Make it eight minutes, Chef? My dauphinoise are fucked.” Syd asked, shooting her potatoes a look of disdain.
“Heard Chef. Eight minutes, Chefs.” He looked over at Syd, “Yo, you good?”
“Yeah, too much garlic.”
“No such thing!” At least three people replied, including Carmy.
“I’ll save it for you then, Chef.” She smiled at him over the pass. Richie bounced back and forth with plates and information until he was finally able to lock the front door. He burst back into the kitchen as Syd and Carmy were sharing the extra garlicky dauphinoise.
“Here we go.” Carmy murmured, receiving an elbow to the ribs.
“What you got for us Richie?” She asked, pointedly ignoring Carmy.
“Would you like to hear a review?”
“From?”
“A Mrs Beata Jerimovich, my wonderful grandmother -” Carmy threw a towel at his head,
“Fuckin’ dipshit.”
“Kidding, kidding. It’s only the motherfuckin’ Food and Beverage Magazine!” There were whoops and cheers all round, but next to him, he felt Syd tremble. He discreetly brushed her little finger with his own and heard her sigh softly. “Ahem!” Richie cleared his throat, “The Bear, Chicago…” he held them in suspense, Marcus beat a drumroll on the counter while Tina bellowed at Richie,
“Richie, fuckin’ tell us, pendejo!”
“Five. Fuckin’. Stars. Chefs!” They were euphoric. Manny and Angel banged pots together, Tina wrapped her arms around Syd and Richie hugged Carmy. As soon as he saw Tina let go of her, he first reached out for the shorter woman who patted his cheek, and then for Syd. He counted down from 10 in his head so as not to hold onto her for too long. He made every second count. His senses clambered to be reminded of the softness of her skin, the fullness of her lips, how perfectly her body fit against his. He felt rather than heard the faintest moan drag from her body as his lips grazed her earlobe, and then he reluctantly let her go. “If you’ll allow me to read some of it to you, Chefs?” Carmy leaned back on the counter and felt Syd do the same next to him, innocently close to those around them but the smallest amount closer than she had been standing before. He let his arm rest against hers and let their knees knock gently together as Richie spoke. “I had the wonderful experience of dining at The Bear around a month ago, during the first week of their festive menu. It was a Saturday night and they had been fully booked for months… Hey, wasn’t that the weekend of bad dates? Fish guy is still salty that he can’t get a date around here anymore.” Carmy locked eyes with Syd, she bit her lip to hide her small smile.
“Good, I’m sure he’s working on a wonderful relationship with his right hand.” She pointed out to sniggers.
“Hey, I object to that.”
“Gross Richie, carry on please?”
“Ok, ok. I tried the spiced pumpkin soup with plaice, the scallop ceviche, the duck in plum sauce and blah blah blah, those are the new dishes, looks like they tried everything though, man. Ok, here we go, here we go - the food was nothing short of miraculous. Every element and ingredient held its own, the service was personal and impeccable, the atmosphere was joyous.” He paused for long enough for the squeals of delight to die down, struggling to be heard, “Exec Chef, Carmen Berzatto - formerly of Noma and The French Laundry - and his partner, CDC Sydney Adamu, have created close to perfection. Whatever their secret is, may they hold onto it. I am already booked back for another visit, my only disappointment is that I have to wait 6 months for it! If they aren’t already looking at this spectacular place for recognition in March, the Michelin guide needs to get it on their list very quickly. A star certainly cannot be too far out of reach.” Richie’s voice quivered with emotion, “It goes on and on… that’s us, man. This is talkin’ about us.” He said, holding the magazine aloft. “I fuckin’ love you guys.” Syd pushed herself off the counter and into his arms. He leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, “you did that, Chef. You fuckin’ did that.” He said to her, “fuckin’ love you Syd.” There was another mass movement of people clinging to each other. Carmy noticed Syd slip into the walk-in once Richie had let her go. He got caught up with Ebra and Marcus before he could get there,
“You good, Chef?” She was leaning against the back wall with her head in her hands, she nodded without moving them, “in front.” He whispered once he was standing directly in front of her, not wanting to startle her. She threw her arms around his neck, he could feel her tears in the neckline of his jacket and wrapped his arms around her tightly.
“Thank you.” She said, her warm breath against his collar. He laughed,
“No, this is all you, baby. All you.” She pulled away from him, allowing him space which he used to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “C’mon, Tina’s looking for you.” He told her, knowing there were too many eyes outside for them to be alone. She went for the door handle but it was pulled from her reach and Richie joined them,
“I’m only in here so that when you both leave, it doesn’t look like you’ve been makin’ out in here, ok?”
“Richie, I came in here so I didn’t cry in front of everyone.” Syd told him, giving him a gentle shove.
“Seriously? Fuck me, I wish I’d been right first time. Syd, honey, I bawled my eyes out - they’re all cryin’ out there. No one cares!”
“Fuck, I’m not tellin’ em when we get Syd’s star. That’s on you, cuz.” Carmy pointed to Richie.
“Can we stop talking about stars? And stop calling it mine? I’m gonna hurl.”
“No, no hurling, we’re goin’ out. Tina wants shots and karaoke.”
“Oh fuck no. No shots.” Syd pushed between them to get out of the walk-in.
“It’s a yes to karaoke though, right?” Richie called out, following her. Clean down had never been so fast or willingly taken on, Manny turned up the radio and the atmosphere was electric. Anyone crossing the room was hindered by hugs along the way and no one seemed to want to let go of each other. Carmy looked out at the crew and for what felt like the first time in forever, didn’t mask his smile or hide his emotions. The door to the office was partially closed and he couldn’t see Syd so he knocked softly. He heard his sister’s voice via Facetime.
“I swear to god Syd, this is so exciting! Michelin are gonna come knocking. I can tell. They might have already been!”
“I hope they didn’t come before November, it’s gonna be that plum sauce that clinches it.” She smiled at Carmy as he came in and joined her on the screen,
“Carmy! I’m so proud, I wish I could be there to celebrate with you all.”
“It’s just a review, Nat.”
“But it’s an incredible review, and that magazine is, like, insane! It’s a precursor to more, trust me.” He stood close to Syd, leaning down over her shoulder so they could both fit into the video call, his cheek almost pressed against hers. "This right here,” she held up Mikey, “100% of The Bear right in this call! Ok, you guys go have fun. I am so ridiculously proud of you both and I love you both so much.”
“Love you sis, see you later.” Syd smiled, Nat’s eyebrows raised a little as Carmy turned to look at her.
“Bye guys.” She hung up the call with a smile.
“Sorry, I just thought she’d want to know and I knew they’d never let you escape. I’m amazed Tina has let you go.”
“Yeah, me too. She’s stronger than she looks.”
“Right?! It’s crazy! Are we done out there?” She stood from the desk,
“Yeah, we’re heading out now.”
“Ok, I’m on my way then.” She cocked her head towards the door, “C’mon. I suspect the first round is gonna be on us.”
“Did you just call Nat, sis?”
“Yeah,” she shook her head, “never underestimate the strength of female friendships, Carm.” She told him sagely, leaving him alone in the office.
*
The bar was hot and crowded, standard for a Saturday night. The karaoke was predictably awful, and Richie was wandering between the three booths they'd managed to grab trying to get people to sign up and sing. Carmy was grateful for the spare jeans and t-shirt he kept in his locker, and it turned out nearly everyone else kept some kind of 'to go' bag either at work or with them, ready for those magical evenings where they finished early, had a date after work or got 5 star reviews in one of the biggest hospitality industry magazines in the world. He was pinned into his booth by Ebra on one side and Neil on the other, both talking over the table to each other and leaving him stuck. Tina was talking Marcus into a duet and it looked like Gary, Manny and Angel were playing some obscure drinking game. Richie had an arm slung over Syd’s shoulder and pointed to the stage with his beer. The combination of humor and terror on her face as she tried to decline his offer of a song was currently making his night. He watched her pinch Richie's stomach and move out of his grip, laughing at him as she hopped into the seat next to Neil to get away.
"Whatcha singin', CDC Sydney?" Fak asked.
"I'm not Fak, but Rich is desperate for a partner on Cruel Summer if you think you can handle it?"
"I can do that!" He exclaimed, "Syd, I can nail that bridge, I fuckin' hand to God… I'm gonna do it!" She moved to let him out and raised her beer to Richie in support of his new karaoke partner. He was about to take advantage of Syd sitting next to him when Ebra pulled him into a far-fetched story he'd probably heard a million times before. He stuck around long enough to listen to Tina and Marcus and Richie and Fak before leaving enough cash for another round and saying his goodbyes. He sat in the car for 10 minutes, phone in his hand, weighing up the pros and cons of texting Syd. He decided against it and put the car into gear, before a tap at the passenger side window stopped him.
"You ok? I thought you left ages ago?" Syd asked with concern.
"Uhh yeah, I was uhh… y’know what, jump in." She did and immediately put her hands to the air vents already pushing warm air through the car.
"So, you were what?"
"Trying to decide whether to send you a message and see if you want to cook tomorrow."
"I'd love to," she nodded, "at the restaurant?"
"Or my place? You could always…"
"Take the couch?"
"Yeah. Or I could." She glanced down at her phone, seemingly weighing up her own pros and cons.
"OK, let's go." He made his way through the dark streets, finding a space a few meters from the main door of his building. He led the way up and unlocked the door, letting her in first so he could lock up behind her.
"You sure you wanna stay?"
"I'm sure. Yo, it looks great in here, Carm?"
"Thanks. I thought I should start making it feel a bit more like home, y'know? Cleared up, no more denim in the oven,"
"For real?" She asked, opening the door to check, "Fuck me, Carmy that's… that's good." He felt the blush bloom in his cheeks. Since he'd decided to deep clean the place over a month ago, the night before he ended things with Claire, he'd slowly been emptying boxes, hanging pictures and sorting through his cookbooks. "Dude, is that a fucking plant?" She asked, looking to the kitchen window.
"It's been alive for a whole month." Not just alive, it had been half dead when he'd brought it, so he'd actually brought it back from the brink.
"A better man, huh?'
"Trying." He offered with a shy shrug. "Beer?"
"Please. Netflix?" She asked, loading up the cooking shows,
"Yeah, there's one I haven't seen yet, Nadiya?"
"Oh, she's so great! You'll love it." She put the first episode on and clinked bottles with him as he sat next to her. "I need to watch Salt Fat Acid Heat." She muttered, he watched her add the note to her phone before crossing her legs and focusing on the screen. It didn't take long before he was reaching out for his sketchpad and looking around for a pen. She pulled one from the knot of her bun and handed it over without looking.
"Rhubarb glaze." He stated. She moved to kneel next to him so she could look at his drawing. Her hand came to rest on his shoulder to keep herself from falling forwards.
"In the spring? Change up the duck dish and serve it with something super fresh?"
"Like a slaw." He suggested, she nodded slowly,
"Like a slaw." She didn't look away from the sketch, "Fuck. You really are so fucking good at this Carm." She said, barely above a whisper.
"You make me better at it." He countered. She absentmindedly rubbed the cotton of his t-shirt between her thumb and index finger. He hesitated before reaching out to cup her cheek and turn her face towards his. She leaned into his palm. He watched her eyes close, a trembling breath on her lips as he leaned in to kiss her briefly. Her hand on his shoulder gave her some leverage to turn and straddle his lap. She stayed further back though, not bringing their bodies flush. She sat back on his knees,
"I don't want to do this if -"
"You're not ready?" He finished.
"Me? I meant you. You've been doing so much better this last month. I don't want to fuck that up for you?"
"You couldn't."
"So you… we could…?"
"We could just take things easy and see what happens? Have some,"
"Fun? We could both stand to have some fun."
"Exactly. No pressure." His hands rested lightly on the top of her thighs.
"No pressure." She repeated, sliding deeper into his lap until their chests were pressed together. He waited for her nod of agreement before kissing her again. She hummed with approval, her head tilting to slot against him perfectly. His tongue swept across her lower lip, demanding access which she willingly gave. His hands moved to squeeze her hips, and she let out a needy whimper he knew he’d spend the rest of the night trying to get from her again. He bit her lip lightly as she ground down against him. “Bed this time.” She mumbled against his neck, “please Carmy, now.” He could feel the reluctance radiate off her as she considered letting go of him long enough to stand so they could move. He stood quickly with her in his arms, making her squeal in surprise. They made it the handful of steps to his bedroom where he sat her on the edge of the bed and knelt between her knees. She was bathed in the streetlight from the window, but it wasn’t enough so he clicked on a small faint lamp at the bedside. He tugged the hem of her top up over her head and she lay back to unbutton her jeans and lift her hips to slide them off, he brushed her hands away and pulled the tight denim down her legs. He rose to climb over her on the bed and she moved further back into the center, reaching for his t-shirt. He unclipped her bra and pulled it off before covering her body with his own pressing kisses along her collarbone. He could feel her heart racing against his chest as he chased each breathy moan that fell from her lips. He kissed a hot path down her body, cataloging every noise she made. He took his time, savoring the way she responded to his touch,
“You’re so beautiful,” he marveled, grateful at last to have her where he could actually see her. He paused with his chin on her stomach to look up at her. She’d covered her face with one hand, suddenly bashful. He reached out to link their fingers, gently encouraging her to look at him, “this ok?” He felt her body shudder as her breath hitched, she nodded. “Need to hear you say it, baby.”
“Fuck you,” she huffed out a tiny laugh, “please, I want this. I want you.”
“I need to taste you, Syd, please?” He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her underwear and slid them down her thighs. He nudged her knees further apart and looked back up at her, holding eye contact as he swept his tongue into her folds and circled her clit. Her back arched off the bed and he used his free hand to hold her still. It was akin to worship, every touch designed to bring her closer to the edge. He’d spent years learning the art of consistency and this was no different, he filed away every sigh, every grip of the sheets and every moan of his name. She practically wailed his name as she came, and he watched her come down, boneless from her first orgasm. He let her think he was done before he went back for more. By the time she was pulling him back up the bed to her, the need to have his skin against hers was sinful.
“Jesus fuck, Carmy,” she panted, reaching out to kiss him. He was painfully hard and he knew she could feel him against her. She tried to undo his jeans with shaking hands, giving up with a frustrated groan. He took over and pushed the denim off, giving her the opportunity to push him onto his back. “Condom?” She whispered, still breathless. She reached past him to the drawers by his bedside to grab one as he bit the underside of her breast. He took the condom from her and ripped it open, rolled her onto her back once more and pushed into her in long, slow strokes, his whole body weighted against hers. The closeness was both intense and intimate, and when he kissed her it felt so much like a promise it was almost overwhelming. He held her tightly, pressing her into the mattress as he fucked into her deliriously slowly, lewd noises filling the air. Her legs wrapped around him, holding him against her. He felt her walls flutter around him, she sighed his name as she came again,
“F-fuck, Syd,” he rasped, shuddering against her as he came. He moved just far enough off her so that he didn’t crush her as his arms gave out, his chest heaving.
“Oof,” she huffed as his weight pinned her to the bed. She ran her fingers through his hair and down his back as far as she could reach before gliding back up again.
“Fuck, that was… wow.” His breath tickled her neck as he spoke,
“Yeah.”
“Should move.”
“Yeah, no, I can’t do that.” He mumbled an apology and moved off her completely, tying off the condom and throwing it to the bathroom. He pulled her to him as he got back into bed, asleep almost instantly.
He woke alone to the light streaming in from the windows, noting that their discarded clothes had been picked up and a damp towel hanging over the bathroom door. He pulled on boxers and a clean t-shirt and went through to find their beer bottles disposed of and the TV off. He vaguely recalled waking briefly in the night to the quiet sounds of a cooking show, but he’d been so warm and relaxed that he didn’t think to move and turn it off. Not that he’d have been able to with Syd buried into his side. He followed the sounds in the kitchen where she had her back to him, looking after whatever she was cooking.
“Hey, mornin’” He said, voice still heavy with sleep. She turned with a shy smile, wearing his t-shirt from the previous night and little else.
“Hi, did I wake you?”
“No, no way. You making breakfast?”
“Thought I’d bring it to you in bed, but -”
“I can go back,” he joked. She turned back to the pan and cracked four eggs into it. He moved to stand behind her, hands on her hips and his head in the crook of her neck. “Shakshuka?”
“Yeah. Imagine my surprise when I opened your fridge to find it fully stocked.” She laughed.
“Told ya, I’m trying.”
“I legit spent twenty minutes trying to decide what to make you.” She turned down the heat on the pan and twisted in his arms. “Did you sleep ok?”
“Yeah, I think I might have figured out the secret.”
“To sleep?” He nodded, kissing along her jawline.
“You.”
“Pfft, shut the fuck up.” He pulled them backwards so he could sit at one of the dining chairs, bringing her down into his lap with her legs either side of his. “Hmm don’t get any ideas, I don’t think this chair will survive.” It creaked under them as if in response as she squirmed in his lap.
“How long on breakfast?” He asked pulling the t-shirt over her head,
“Long enough.” She confirmed, reaching out to turn the stovetop off completely.
*
“Baby, you look all flushed, you good?” He heard Tina ask Syd as she finished off the canapes.
“Yeah T, just warm.”
“You look beautiful, don’t get anything down your dress!” She warned, Syd had tugged an apron over her dress but had left it untied. As she moved along the counter piping blinis with sour cream, the thigh split opened further. He turned away as Tina looked at him with a curious eye,
“I’m gonna unlock, Chef?” He asked,
“Ok, sure. I think we’re good.” She turned to the servers with a nod and took the apron off, throwing the piping bag into the sink.
“Let’s party!” Tina beamed, leaving Syd to turn off the lights and join her in the restaurant.
Syd’s dad took another canape as the tray passed by them, Carmy shook his head as the server offered the tray to him as well.
“These are incredible.” Her dad beamed,
“Aren’t they? She was working on them until about a minute before we opened the doors.”
“Sounds like Sydney.” He chuckled, “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you on Family night. It was a very special night.”
“Yes Sir, it was. I had some things to take care of in the kitchen though, so I didn’t spend any time out here. I'm sorry I missed you, it's good to meet you at last.”
“I guess that’s the trouble when you’re the one in charge, you don’t get to enjoy the spoils.”
“Fortunately I’ve got everything I need back there.” Carmy replied with a smile. They both watched Syd in a beautiful one-shoulder copper coloured dress as she crossed the room to speak to Tina’s family. She studiously avoided eye contact with either of them and instead got swept up with talking to Tina’s elderly mother. She dropped down onto her haunches to bring herself below eye level to the woman, and held her hands. He took in her taut calf muscles in her heels and the curve of her thigh as the dress pulled tightly. He was flooded with the memory of taking it off her earlier in the evening as she was trying to get ready, her hands swatting him away before pulling him back in. The reason they were late and the reason she was still in the kitchen as they opened.
“She’s really something. I wish her mama could have seen her.”
“She is. You must be very proud.”
“I am. I hope you’re good to her?”
“I’m sorry?”
“She tells me she’s staying with friends two, three - sometimes even four nights a week. You and I both know that her closest friends are in this room right now, and I don’t think she’s singing lullabies to your nephew four nights a week.” He chuckled as the blush crept across Carmy’s face. “I may be an old man, but I’m not blind.” He put a hand on Carmy’s arm, “thank you for believing in her.”
Her laugh sounded around the room as she pushed back up to standing and turned to talk to Pete who’d lightly tapped her arm. She nodded at whatever he’d said and made her way back past them towards the kitchen. Her dad managed to catch her hand just before she stepped out of reach,
“Honey, Carmen and I were just talking about everything you’ve both achieved here. It’s tremendous.”
“Thanks Dad, I’ve just got to see Richie about something. Can I come back to you in a few minutes?”
“Take your time sweetheart. I’ll be right here.” He smiled, Marcus coming over to talk. Carmy managed to catch her eye briefly with a small smile. She made her way to Richie who was holding court near the center of the room. Christmas songs filled the air and he was once again forced to admit that Nat had been right - a less formal Christmas party for family and friends had been the right way to go. She took Richie’s arm, but he grabbed her hand instead and spun her around, twirling her under his arm and pulling her into some empty space to dance. She tried to pull away, laughing, but let him spin her a couple of times and dip her before she could escape. With Syd’s dad in deep discussion with Marcus, Carmy went through to the kitchen to check what was left in the walk-in. The heavy door swung partially closed behind him and he heard the tap of Syd’s heels as she came through the swing doors not far behind him. He went to call out to her, but Nat’s voice spoke up.
“You can’t escape out here, Syd!” “I just need a minute, my feet are killing me. C’mon, gimme a break.” He could almost hear rather than see Nat roll her eyes.
“Fine, you can hold Mikey while I go to the bathroom before I feed him." Nat rushed past the walk-in to the staff bathroom.
“What’s the time baby Bear? How long til I can be in Uncle Carm’s bed again, huh?” She muttered, bouncing the increasingly hungry baby. “Are you ready for bed too? Party animal.”
“I thought about a sitter but then I figured, it’s family night?” Nat said, coming back in and taking Mikey. “Oh, he should be here for sure.”
“You ok?” He heard Nat ask, softly. "You've barely stopped all night?" He could hear her settle Mikey and the baby fell silent.
“Yeah. If I tell you something can you promise not to lose your shit?”
“I can try?”
“So Carmy and I have been… hanging out. And it’s good, and I don’t want to push him too fast too soon on anything,”
“Wait, hanging out somewhere other than here?”
“Yeah. Like, his apartment… specifically.” Syd wrung her hand together, presumably waiting for Nat to catch up.
“Ok, so what’s new about that? Oh. Oh! Fuck! You guys are hanging out hanging out?”
“There we go. Yep, that’s what’s been happening.”
“Since when?!”
“About a month ago? Not long. Long enough?”
“So what’s the problem?”
“There isn’t one, I guess? I just… What if it all goes horribly wrong? What if this ruins everything? For all of us, I mean. It could ruin both of our careers, could kill this place? Everyone I love is in that room -” she paused, “I don’t want to push him, but I also kind of want to know how he sees all of this… ending up?”
“Syd, relax. I guarantee if you look into that room right now, he’ll be the happiest you’ve ever seen him,” Carmy frowned, hoping they didn’t actually look for him, “that’s because of this place. Because of you, honey.”
“I guess…”
“I know. The good thing about doing this together, is that you’re in this together. Don’t stress, whatever happens happens. I mean, look at you! You’re the CDC of one of the hottest new restaurants, it’s your Christmas party and yet you’re in the kitchen in your dress and heels making sure everything is as it should be. There is nothing at all that you can’t do. You’re nothing short of incredible, you’re a force of nature Syd. If I had to bet on one thing, it’s that you have Carmen’s complete support in everything you do. I fucking love you.” He heard the shuffle of fabric, and from Syd’s muffled response, assumed they were hugging.
“Thank you, I love you too. Maybe you’re right.”
“I keep telling you both this, I’m always right. Now please, let’s go drink some more champagne and have some fun. You’re not wasting that dress in this kitchen. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't realise you're fucking my brother!” He heard the door swing and sighed, leaving the walk-in to go out back for a smoke.
*
“Cousin, yo, what’s goin’ on - you comin’ back in?” Richie stuck his head out a few minutes later, breaking the silence.
“Yeah man, I just needed to burn one.” He held one out for Richie who came to join him and let the door shut. “It’s goin’ ok, right?”
“Carm, it’s fuckin’ amazing. I am legit so fuckin’ proud of this place and everyone in it. You an’ Syd, man, you guys have made this place.”
“S’good you two get on now.”
“Aww she’s pretty great. Don’t fuckin’ tell her I told you.” He warned,
“I think she knows, dude. If it makes you feel any better, she was tellin’ me this morning that the nights you do expo are her favorite.”
“Fuckin’ knew it!” He laughed, then paused suddenly, “Wait, how’d you see her this morning?” Carmy felt Richie’s eyes scouring his face, widening in shock “No fuckin’ way, cuz!”
“I meant last night. Here. At work.”
“Bull fuckin’ shit. How long?”
“About a month. The night we got that review?”
“I mean, I thought you guys were eye fuckin’ over the pass, like, a little more than normal… but I did not expect that. Fuck, I owe Fak 20 bucks.”
“Great, thanks.”
“Hey man, don’t be mad at me. Are you… I dunno, are you happy?”
“I think I might be, yeah. Feels fuckin’ weird.”
“I bet. And Syd? She good?”
“I think she’s happy, yeah.”
“You in love or what?”
“I think I might be, cuz. I just… how do I know if I'm ready? Like, what if we fuck this place up?”
“No one is every fuckin’ ready, man. Never. And what if you make this place even better?” Carmy let the thought sink in, “Like, separately you’re both freaky fuckin’ geniuses and together it’s, like, even better. I know you’ve been on that ‘self care bein’ better for yourself’ kick cos you feel like you don’t deserve her,” Carmy sighed, “but you complete each other, cuz. There’s no other fuckin’ way to say it.”
“Fuck me, Richie, you should get a fuckin’ talk show.”
“Fuck you. I’m bein’ nice to you for once in your damn life.”
“I know, I’m still in shock.” They nudged each other. “I should tell her, right?”
“Yeah man, you should tell her.”
“Thanks cousin. Hey, don't say anything to her, yeah? That you know? She’s really stressed and I don’t want to make it fuckin’ worse.”
“Nah man, my lips are sealed. Love you dude, we’re gonna build a fuckin’ empire here.” Richie grasped his shoulder and joined their foreheads.
“Heard, Chef. Let it fuckin’ rip.”
“Anything for you, cuz.”
*
Though Carmy was right behind Richie going back into the party, he wasn’t quick enough. He entered through the swing door just in time to see Richie smile graciously at Syd and her dad before taking her elbow and pulling her to one side. He leaned down to talk in her ear. Carmy saw the way her eyebrows flew up to her hairline and the panic that crossed her face as she tried to pull away from him. She caught his eye briefly as Richie leaned down again and continued to talk, as he did so, she visibly started to relax.
“Your CDC is something fierce Carmy.” Uncle Jimmy said, handing him a beer. Carmy laughed,
“Yeah, she is pretty great.” They watched as Richie was joined by Nat and the baby, with Pete hovering beside them, Syd took the baby and held him to her like a human shield as they laughed together.
“I gave baby Mikey my 1% for a reason, you know?”
“Oh yeah?”
“This place, it’s 100% Berzatto. It has to be, Carmy.”
“Syd’s not a Berzatto, Unc,” Carmy raised his beer to his lips,
"Well yeah, not right now. But she will be. I could tell when you all came creeping for $500k. She matches your ethics, your outlook. She's your equal. I mean, look at her," They watch her with the family, with Richie and the team, with Nat and the baby, even with Pete. “She’s already a Berzatto. You might want to rescue her before they scare the shit outta her though?”
“Nah, she’s got it. She’s fuckin’ fearless. That’s why I love her,” he shrugged. Jimmy beamed, clapping him on the back,
“He’d be so proud of this, Carmen. He really would.”
“Thanks Uncle Jimmy.” He picked up a glass of wine from one of the trays and took it over to Syd who swapped him for the baby. “Can we try and get out of here for a sec?” He asked quietly. She nodded once and he passed Mikey to Pete. He followed her to the kitchen. Their kitchen.
“So Richie knows?” She sighed,
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Nat knows as well,” she admitted, “I told her earlier.”
“Your dad too.” He said with a sheepish grin,
“Oh my god.” She muttered, “how?!”
“I guess we’re shitty at hiding it? I know we said about just taking it easy and no pressure but,” he caught the frown that crossed her face,
“Fuck. I knew it, I knew it. This is why I said we had to stop, and now everyone fucking knows and it’s all gonna -” she stepped away from him
“No, Syd, fuck you’re so fuckin’ impatient. Would you just,” he took her hand, ��would you let me finish? Please?” He sighed, dragging a hand through his curls. “I would go to the fuckin’ ends of the earth for you if that’s what you wanted. I don’t care about easy, or too much fuckin’ pressure, I only want you, and I want to be by your side when you take over the world and get three bullshit fucking stars - not just one. I can’t do this without you and I don’t want to, and I know I said that before but it was because I was too much of a fuckin’ coward to tell you that I’ve been in love with you since the day you walked in here.” She stared at him. Didn't say a word, just stared. "Syd?"
"Are you sure?" She asked eventually, still wary. He closed the gap between them again and took her hand.
"Am I… am I sure?" He laughed, "Yeah sweetheart, I'm fuckin' certain. And I will spend every day proving it to you if you'll let me?"
"I think I could live with that." She said softly.
"Yeah?" His hands slipped around her waist, drawing her closer.
"Yeah. The most excellent chef, occasionally a piece of shit," she teased.
"Only occasionally now? I'll take that," he smirked.
"Occasionally a piece of shit, rarely a total dickbag, thankfully," she assured him. "the best former CDC, now Exec Chef I've ever seen?" she leaned into him with a contented sigh as he kissed her. "I love you too."
"Thank you for showing me that none of this is a waste of time." He kissed her again, the stainless steel counter cold through the thin fabric of her dress. She broke the kiss, breathless, and looked over his shoulder and out to the restaurant. Their restaurant.
FIN
~~~~~~
#the bear#the bear fx#the bear hulu#the bear fanfiction#the bear fanfic#the bear fan fic#syd x carmy#carmy x syd#sydcarmy#carmy x sydney#carmen x sydney#syd adamu#syd x carmen#sydcarmy fanfic#sydcarmy fic#sydney adamu#sydney and carmy#sydney x carmen#sydney x carmy#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto#carmy the bear
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Mortal Kombat Legends: Dreamrealm's Despot
(this is a prequel/sequel to the ending of Requiem Mirror and the ending of Blood Bound, so anyone who read those two would know wtf is happening)
Five months ago, Tremor, the former Black Dragon member has started packing his things. On the way out of the Special Forces base, he met Nico, also known as Red Robin, who seemed happy as usual.
ROBIN: Hey, Rocky Road. What's up?
Tremor's raspy and gravely voice slightly cracks, as he is spooked
TREMOR: Oh! Hello, Nico. I was just packing my things and leaving.
ROBIN: Why? Did Sonya say so?
TREMOR: No, nothing like that. I... have been meaning to leave for a while now, in order to find a place I've heard about once.
ROBIN: Ah, that's fine. What place is it?
TREMOR: A place called the Dreamrealm. I wish to find it as a last step before retirement.
ROBIN: Well, I completely understand. Have fun.
TREMOR: I will. See you around, Nico.
He says as he waves, walking out the door, as he turns, he look away from his friend. The earth bender has walked for many days, following a map he had kept ever since his days in the Black Dragon clan. It took him through a desert, kilometers away from any nearby civilization… As Mr Mineral walked through the desert, the heat was starting to get to his head the more hours passed by. Before he collapsed on the ground from the heat, he came across a cave. Entering said cave, he noticed the thorny vines that grew around the interior. With a sense of confusion, he ventured deeper into the cave, he noticed a strange structure with a strange blue light illuminating in its center, like a miniature star. Tremor stepped closer to it and before he touched it, he got flashbacks to every major moment in his life: from the death of loved one’s, to doing heinous things while in theThe hooded figure looks at geokinetic, unveiling themselves to be a young woman. She seems to be no older than 26, and she has a scar under her eye. She looks at Tremor, as if she saw him for the first time in ages. And as for the child, she held on to her mother's hand, woundering why she's looking at Tremor like that.
WOMAN: Hello? Do I know you from somewhere?
She asked. Tremor shakes his head, and she gives a light "hmph".
WOMAN: You seem lost, stranger.
TREMOR: I... could say I am. I need to find the way to the Dreamrealm.
WOMAN: Well, you don't have to look anymore, you found it.
Tremor looked up at the woman, and looked at the child. The young girl held on to her mother's robes.
TREMOR: I suppose I should thank you.
WOMAN: You don’t need to. Can I have your name?
Tremor looked down, as he does not recall his real name, only his title from the Black Dragon.
TREMOR: Tremor.
he said, and the woman responded with a light-hearted smile.
RHEA: Right... Damn, you look familiar. Anyway, I'm Rhea, and this is my daughter, Hera.
HERA: Hewlo.
Tremor looked at the little girl, as she was looking at him, with curiosity in her eyes. He waved to her squatting down, removing his mask and showing a big smile.
TREMOR: You have a wonderful daughter, Rhea. I had a daughter once. She passed, along with my wife.
He said, looking away.
RHEA: Oh, I'm sorry for your loss.
TREMOR: Do not fret, it was my fault. Anyway, could you escort me to someone who could help me with my mental scars and trauma?
The woman looked at Mr Mineral with slight confusion, but then remembered something, as a lightbulb appeared over her head.
RHEA: I got it!
She said, waving the lightbulb away.
RHEA: I know someone who can help you. They helped me and my daughter get through great pains. Come with me.
She said, as she took her daughter and put her on her back, leading Tremor through the slow moving streets to a large building north from where they are. After a few minutes of walking and band members playing calming music on the side of the streets, they make it to a castle of sorts, where Rhea knocks on three times, as the doors magically open by themselves. The three enter, and notice a man dressed in a white and yellow gown and having odd hair, completely contrasting from the rest of the mostly black and blue aesthetic of the realm, making some sort of powder or potion.
RHEA: Oi, Sandy, how's it brewing?
The man turns around, noticing the three.
SANDMAN: Hm? Oh! Hello, Rhea.
Said the Sandman, stepping down from his workbench. Tremor would look at him in total awe, never seeing anything like it.
SANDMAN: I see you have brought a friend. Allow me to introduce myself to you, stranger. I am the Sandman, good friends call me Sandy.
TREMOR: The pleasure is all mine, sir.
The sandman looked at the man in the dark brown cloak and immediately recognized his voice, and the name.
SANDMAN: You must be Tremor. I've heard a lot about you. You haven't been naughty as of late, have you?
Tremor looked confused and a bit shocked, while the Sandman laughed his ass off.
SANDMAN: Oh, don't worry, Tremor, I'm the sandman, not Santa Claus.
He said, trying to keep a straight face, but failing. He then cleared his throat.
SANDMAN: Anyways, *ahem*, welcome to my home slash workshop, where I do most of my work and when I'm not, I help people with severe anxiety and mental scars rehabilitate. What can I do you for?
He asked. Tremor looked at him, and told the man of his issues.
TREMOR: Well, for quite a few months now, I've been having nightmares of past experiences.
SANDMAN: Right... Rhea? Hera? Could you leave us for a few minutes?
The woman and the girl nod, and leave the room. Tremor would then tell him about his nightmares, and the Sandman would listen to his story.
TREMOR: After the death of my loved ones, I joined the Black Dragon clan, a group of ruthless criminals shortly after this, because their leader Kano stated that if I join him, he could help me with getting them back. I had nothing left to lose, so naturally, I accepted. The longer time I spent in Outworld, the more my body changed, and sooner or later, I forgot my actual name. All I knew was to live and fight for him. So once this man named Smoke gave me a beating of a lifetime, he changed me and my perspective on the world. I joined the Special Forces for a while, and after several months, I wanted to leave. So I went on a journey to find Dreamrealm and... now we're here.
The Sandman, listening to his story while sitting in a therapist chair, writes notes down.
SANDMAN: Right. I am terribly sorry for what happened in your past, but sometimes, you only have to keep going forward. Yes, the past can hurt, but when that wound hurts, you can do one of two things.
The sandman puts the papers down and gets up, as he stands tall, and he walks towards the window, showing the landscape of Dreamrealm.
SANDMAN: You can either tamper with it to make it worse, or you can let someone help you with it. Because only with time and the right people, can a wound truly heal.
Tremor looks at the man in his face with heavy eyes.
TREMOR: A sound logic, Rafiki.
SANDMAN: You're welcome, Simba. Now then... let me show you my workshop.
The sandman turns the wall into a corridor, showing a large room with machines and brightly colored lights sliding down tubes. Tremor looks around, confused but intrigued at what he is seeing.
TREMOR: Interesting. But also.. What is it that I'm looking at?
SANDMAN: This is my workshop, where I make dreams for everyone in the realms. Well, I'd happily explain it to you with a song, but then I'd be risking a copyright strike, plus it would be hard to picture because this is a written medium.
He said, turning to Tremor, who is as oblivious as Nico was in the last chapter. But to prove a point, think this picture
SANDMAN: Look, point I’m tryin’ to make is: emotions + past experiences = dreams. And sometimes I add in a little element of surprise to the concoction, which is why dreams sometimes show you things that haven’t happened yet. And when they do, you get some of that “deja vu”.
The mineral man looks back at the sandman, looking less oblivious and more interested.
SANDMAN: But let's not get too off–topic.
Sandman opens a door to his right, which goes outside with several feet out into the air. Tremor looks through, then the song by the Chordettes looks out, closing the door.
SANDMAN: Whoops, hehe, wrong door.
He then opens a door next to the one he just opened, revealing a room that appears as some sort of Edo period style house. Tremor would sit down, while the sandman took a kettle and teacups. He then turns to Tremor, asking him a question.
SANDMAN: Tea or coffee?
TREMOR: Tea, please.
The sandman turns back to rocky road, tossing the kettle perfectly in the air to pour just enough tea for both of them, catching it before it hits the ground. He then serves the tea to Tremor.
SANDMAN: I’m glad you chose tea, because I made the tea before asking and the last time I did that, the person I offered it to never spoke to me again.
Tremor would remove his mask, and would start sipping the tea. The sandman as he sips his tea, eyes the mineral man.
SANDMAN: Look, Tremor, to put it lightly, I’m kind of like a king or ruler or guardian of this realm. When someone has a problem, they turn to me, and I solve it.
Tremor would put his tea down, tilting his head and squinting his eyes.
TREMOR: Your point being?
SANDMAN: Rhea brought you here with a reason, and that reason being you got more than one problem in your life. Your body is as still as a mountain, yet your soul is cracked. I intend to balance that out with the time you have here.
Tremor looked at the Sandman, finishing his tea and very gently placing it down.
TREMOR: Where do we begin, sir?
Sandman refills Tremor’s cup, putting the kettle aside.
SANDMAN: Finish that cup, and follow me.
Tremor finished his tea, and got up to follow the man in yellow. They went to the door on the left, which previously went nowhere, but now entered what looked like a traditional Japanese house. Tremor entered, looking confused as hell. His speech reflected his expression.
TREMOR: What the actual shit?
SANDMAN: I know right? Oh and also…
The sandman spun his fingers, and the door behind them slammed shut.
SANDMAN: Tone it down on the language.
He moved around some of the chairs and other stuff that was in the way.
SANDMAN: Here, your training begins. Well, mental training at least.
Tremor bows, and they begin. First few days went smoothly, with Tremor doing certain tasks, and showing great progress of staying still and calm under great stress, but there still was stress, as was shown in his eyes. Sandman noticed this, and approached him.
SANDMAN: Something wrong, babygirl?
Tremor turned around, looking quite stressed.
TREMOR: No, I mean yes, but… What did you just call me?
SANDMAN: Nothing, the point is, there’s something in your eyes, and it's not pretty.
TREMOR: What do you see?
SANDMAN: Well, firstly, myself. Secondly, it’s sadness, stress, fear.
TREMOR: I’m fine, man.
SANDMAN: You sure? Because denial is only the first stage of grief.
The mineral man takes a deep breath and looks at him, poking his breats.
TREMOR: Look, I’m fine, alright? I just need something to punch, sometimes.
Mr Sandman thinks for a second, and then looks at Mineral man.
SANDMAN: Why don’t you punch me?
Tremor chuckles, hearing Sandman say this.
TREMOR: You? The man who has been giving me free therapy for days now? The man who’s dressed in a nightgown and cap?
Sandman listens to Tremor’s both nice and not nice comment, as he changes his outfit with a snap of the finger, going from looking like Scrooge McDuck to looking like Little Mac. He takes a stance and looks at Tremor.
SANDMAN: Put 'em up, bitch boy.
Tremor looked at his stance, sighing and taking his MK X idle stance. He goes to punch Sandman, but he sidesteps, barely dodging his fist. Tremor looked at him, quickly getting his stance back up. His veins felt like they were burning, as he went in for another punch, which was stopped with a block. Tremor kept swinging and Sandman kept dodging, which fueled something in Tremor’s heart. After the tenth dodge, Sandy finally decided to do something productive by punching Tremor in the side, filling him with anger. His hands ignite with fire, which he doesn’t notice, but Sandman does.
SANDMAN: Uh, dude, your hand–
Before he could finish his sentence, Tremor decked him in the face, after which the whole room was heated. Tremor quickly notices, and tries to calm down, which extinguished the fire and cooled the room. He lended Sandman a hand feeling terrible for what he just did.
TREMOR: I am so sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to do… What did I just do?
SANDMAN: No need to apologize, I was being a douchebag.
As the sandman took Tremor’s hand and got up, he burnt himself on his hand, letting out a shout in pain.
SANDMAN: Ah crap, my hand!
Tremor saw this, and looked at his hand, which looked like flowing lava. As he calmed himself down, his hand cooled off.
TREMOR: I am so sorry, sir.
SANDMAN: Ah, don’t sweat it, it’ll heal.
He said, shaking his hand. He then looked at Tremor, who’s hands and face were illuminated by magma, which slowly disappeared.
SANDMAN: Amazing… Not only have your hands changed, but you did too. You look like a flaming hot badass.
TREMOR: What?
He asked, in a much deeper voice. Sandman would make a mirror appear in front of Tremor, showing him his new form.
TREMOR: That's.. Me?
SANDMAN: I suppose exposure to the atmosphere here and releasing all that anger must’ve triggered a change…
Sandman would place his hand on Tremor’s head, reading his mind and seeing it has expanded exponentially.
SANDMAN: …And your mind expanded.
Tremor would tilt his head, looking back at Sandman.
TREMOR: What do you mean, Sandman?
SANDMAN: What I’m saying is, my friend…
Sandman walked up to Rocky Road, wiping some sand off his hood, and putting his hand on Tremor’s shoulder.
SANDMAN: Now, you have balance.
TREMOR: Truly… So does this mean you won't teach me anymore?
The hit song by The Chordettes smiles at Tremor, and gives him a head pat.
SANDMAN: You can come over anytime you like. Whether you need a therapist, or to blow off some steam, you know where to find me. How’s about a hand shake as a goodbye?
He said, extending his hand to Mr Mineral. Tremor, at first denied, but then accepted. Sandman then escorted Tremor back to the entrance. Before Tremor left, he turned back to Sandman.
TREMOR: Where do I go now? I don’t have anywhere to call home anymore.
Sandman thinks for a minute, then asks Tremor to follow him. After a few minutes of walking, the terrific two stand in front of a house. Sandman pushes the doorbell, and Rhea opens the door.
RHEA: What’s up, Sandy?
SANDMAN: Rhea, I would like to introduce you to your malewife, Tremor.
Rhea looked at Tremor’s new design, looking surprised and interested.
RHEA: That’s you, Tremor? Damn, dude, you look menacing as fuck but also kind of hot. Also, did you just say “malewife”?
Sandman stood there, slurping on a slushie he just made.
SANDMAN: You two just look cute together, idk. Buh-bye–
He said, as he disappeared in a cloud of sand. Tremor and Rhea look at eachother and shrug.
RHEA: So uh… Come on in?
TREMOR: Please and thank you.
He says as Rhea opens the door, while Tremor has to squeeze through to get in.
TREMOR: Ooh. Sorry, jus–
RHEA: No, it’s fine, lemme just try an–
TREMOR: Yeah, I’ll just… There.
He said, as he fell on the floor, but did in fact, get in. Rhea giggles.
RHEA: Man, I’m gonna need a bigger door. Hera! Come meet someone!
Hera’s little tippy taps echoed through the hallway, as she walked into the room, and saw Tremor on the floor. She looks at her mother, then points to Tremor.
HERA: Is he going to be my dad now?
Tremor and Rhea look at eachother, and then Rhea looks back at her daughter with a smile.
RHEA: Yes. Yes he is.
Tremor closes his eyes, his hands move up, as if he’s shrugging.
TREMOR: Well, I suppose I have no other choice.
Tremor gets up, and Hera comes over to hug her mother. Rhea looks at Tremor, with one hand holding her child and the other is open, as if she’s offering him a hug. Tremor seems confused.
RHEA: Come on, you big stupid dummy, get in here!
TREMOR: I… suppose.
Tremor enters the hug, and for the first time in a long time, Tremor actually had a feeling of warmth in his heart. His body temperature heated up, just enough to give a warm hug to the two. And for the next month or so, Tremor has lived with them for some time now, and every so often, he visits the Sandman to get therapy or to blow off steam. Tremor has treated Hera as if she were his own child, and Rhea as a wife. Eventually, He discovered other abilities, courtesy of Sandman. Soon enough with this ability, he visited a former colleague and an old friend.
Credits. Play.
#mortal kombat#mk#mortal kombat au#mk au#smoke screen au#mk smokescreen#humor#comedy#memes#meme#mk oc red robin#mortal kombat oc#mk oc#mk ocs#mk oc rhea#mk oc hera#mk oc sandman
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CAUTION: extremely OOC horrible doomed ship
So yeah I do ship consensual Aredhel/Eol. Which means horribly ooc headcanons miles away from actual canon
Because I think it's more interesting that way
(That's a cursed sank ship)
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The idea of two social outcasts from different cultures each exiled themselves from their safe & prospering cities met each other in the wild. Yet Love itself is not enough. Two people cannot live forever in a dark forest blissfully away from all the troubles of the outside world and all the troubles they carried themselves.
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The way I ooc-headcanon characters:
Aredhel: Bad Boi TM, boundary what boundary, run away with me to a grand life-changing road trip, honey this mushroom is amazing it made me see Lady Nessa dancing for 3 days
Eol: the local mentally-instable witch hiding in the woods, would love to stay alone making sharp things thank you very much, for fuck's sake that mushroom is poisonous how did you survive
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I think Sindar elves in Doriath had really different words to say about their relationship... Something like "This suspicious Noldor woman came out of nowhere and ignored each and every layers of stranger-repellent enchantment and broke right into our best sword-smith's house. Then our lord who vocally hated Noldor kinslayers is now living with this sister of kinslayer (possibly a kinslayer herself!) and having picnics-under-stars. WTF is there some wicked Valinor enchantment going on with our poor mentally-vulnerable smith or something."
Ah also "Why the fuck is she dressed in all white also there's suspiciously few stain for a traveler. That's a trap right there"
Then one day they just disappeared to the north! Like, the whole political disaster for Thingol. Asked Fingolfin and the Noldor king knew nothing heard nothing. Defection? Abduction? Assassination?
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(Somehow I headcanon Aredhel to be like... the Sun. So many people looked at her and wanted to be picked by her. Especially the broken ones, who believed they could be fixed by her light. But she fixed no one; she burnt stuff. Like Silmaril but more lively and more aggressive)
#tolkien#silmarillion#the silmarillion#silm#silmarillion headcanon#silm headcanon#aredhel#eol#yep sorry I ship that ship#the horrible cursed doomed ship sank like Beleriand#I will abide on the tower that they had consensual relationship#which was not approved by anyone#and ended up horrible for everyone involved#silmarillion art#silm art#my art#tolkien fanart
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Okay, im gonna preface this by saying that i normally post these directly after watching, so the chaos no context makes a little bit more sense but i was way too tired to deal with uploading after the ep last night... reading it back.... i DID enjoy the episode and did think it was a good one! props to director Aisha. i just think that *between* the eps this season, they keep flitting back and fourth between the style of how they're executing adding in new unsubs/connections to gold star/whatever and my brain can't follow it sometimes (esp at 2 in the morning when i'm getting tired lol).
Alright, considering I normally stay up til the crack of dawn something about making me stay up til 2am for these eps makes me exhausted. I blame the heat. Here we go!
I know that the format of the show is to keep us connected with individual ep unsubs, but none of us CARE. Either make us fully invested in the gold star/north star shit, OR make it the back seat story arc while these new unsubs are suddenly the bau’s focus like they did in the last season!!!
…unless that was morse code and is connected..
BUT STILL!
Make it make sense and be connected to the viewer before starting the scene
I don’t give a fuck about these guys…. Give me the people im waiting for
If you want me to care about eps that are stylized like cm s 1-15 then you have to make them ALL that way, you can’t pick and choose. Make me focus on gold star/elias/Jade from the last couple eps or nothing. You cant switch styles halfway through the season… no matter how intriguing that COULD be im automatically uninterested because its not the same style
Is tyler getting paid for this shit? Or is he just like.. hanging out and having fun?
LLOOLLL not Emily profiling tylers handwriting
PLEASE give us more and ALL dr tara lewis, she’s already been unappreciated as a character, but as a DOCTOR, please, she so smrt. Give us all if it
AS IF that many boxes contain EVERYTHING for four years!
Dad!rossi: I forbid you
Em: fuck you dad imma do it anyway
LOOOLL “ive never been forbidden before…” THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE SAYS BEFORE THEY DEFY ORDERS. I WOULD KNOW
Ok.. NOW this unsub storyline has caught my attention but I am confused lol. Seems very heartbreaking either way
God Emily is so fucking gorgeous
Jfc how smart is tyler?? Imma need to do a deep dive on this…
Man voit is a better fucking profiler than half the team, if he wasn’t…. ya know… a serial killer.. LOL
HHAHAHAHA omg tyler
Yess! Another VVERY NATURAL FUCK! I don’t care what anyone says, the more natural swears are the ones that I love the most!
Garcia’s so fucking hot…
Hotch “left the unit a few years ago” bruh that was at least a decade
LOL JILL IS ME
NOT FELICITY HUFFMAN OPENING WITH A FUCK
JFC. SHES SO HOT its giving elizabeth Mitchell
Looooolllll fucking rossi…
Jj and luke work super well together and I love it
Loooll Emily throwing tyler in last minute just like she planned and jill calling her on it RIGHT AWAY LOL
NOT THE GUILT TRIP LOL
“not even Jason was this manipulative”
WTF??? This some supernatural/insane shit. Is the wife even alive anymore?? Is he hallucinating that?
Aaand jj and luke have figured it out and this shit is fire
They got this girl locked up like joe from you
Jesus CHRIST this took a twist and I love it but AGAIN, I would love it so much more If it was the primary focus of the ep
Ooooo CALLED IT
God that’s heartbreaking
How THE FUCK DOES SICARIOUS STILL HAVE ACCES TO HIS NETWORK IN JAIL??
OMG Jill instantly hugging Penelope makes me SO WARM
Uuggghhh jill being dragged back into this is not fucking fair.. like… she left.. Jason DEFINTELY left.. that poor queen
JESUS that cut to rossi was straight out of a horror film where he WAS THE KILLER jfc
#criminal minds#criminal minds evolution#spoilers#cme spoilers#criminal minds spoilers#cme#criminal minds evolution spoilers#none of this makes sense but thats fine#enjoy my ramblings
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17x07-Piranha
The episode directed by Aisha Tyler. I'm curious about this one.
Warning: mentions of r*pe and sexual violence
Is that Elias saying "previously on.."?
Beginning in Maryland
A guy trapped in a tank. Is that why this episode is called "Piranha"?
I wonder if this unsub is related to the gold star program
Unsub and a victim met at a bar and unsub spiked his drink
Tell the truth or the unsub pulls the switch. What happens if he presses the switch?
"Why her?"
That's not water, it's acid wtf
Ew wtf?!
Wait the victim did what?!
Tony, Darren and David being potential victims
Shit, victim lied about Darren and David
Wtf, the acid is literally melting the guy
Jesus Christ....the victim is now a skeleton
Baby crying?
Unsub is a father but he's so distant and cold despite the baby crying
Unsub's name is Roger
Roger is an unsub but he still loves his baby, parallels to Elias?
Luke sarcastically saying that he slept like a baby when he and JJ lost sleep over the revelation that the BAU's research created the gold star program
Garcia looking cute in her outfit. Everyone else looks good but I'm still sick and tired of all that gray clothing, like when can the characters wear colors again amidst the dull lighting?
Three men gone missing, all Asian. So Roger was responsible for their disappearances?
Craig's watch being found
JJ and Luke taking charge on the case involving the disappearances of the three men
Luke asking Emily about Gold Star, still distraught that the BAU are responsible for its creation and being North Star
Emily seeing Tyler staring at the board
The lighting in the BAU floor looks better. They need to retain this type of lighting for the rest of the season and s18
Tyler telling Rossi that he and Tara worked together to find any overlap between Gold Star and Rossi and Gideon's paper
Tara being amazed at Rossi and Gideon's unpublished paper
Said paper discussing about epigenetics being partially the reason why it was never published
Rossi saying how he and Gideon buried the paper so no one could find it but someone did, but who?
Emily profiling Tyler through his handwriting
Tyler being sensitive to criticism and is paranoid
Tyler being a little embarrassed cause of the way he writes his T's
Emily bragging how she's been reinstated as unit chief and flexing off her leadership skills
Tara being amused in the background
Rossi wearing a reddish orange shirt and Emily wearing a dark blue blouse that looks black or gray in different lighting
The lighting looks slightly better than past episodes so far
Gold Star members being recruited through epigenetics
The field being founded in 1942 but didn't fully kickstart till the 2000s when rhe genome was mapped, revolving around the question how genes are affected by environmental factors, but it's tricky when mental illness is involved
Stuart House being the site got creating psychopaths with candidates in their pubescent years
Tara saying "bananas"
Tara and Tyler still struggling to figure out who exactly started it as they're too good at hiding
Sebastian refusing to speak and Tyler saying how Sebastian will find a way to walk out free or get out of jail
Rossi calling Tyler "Mr Sensitive"
Tara and Tyler working together
Emily looking at the pile of case files from 1993 to 1997 is a mood and me with my chores and responsibilities
Rossi and Emily having to do a hand search through each file to figure out who checked out the paper
Before they had Penelope Garcia, they had Jill
Jill Gideon overseeing the files back then and playing a big role in helping her husband and Rossi the beginning of the BAU
Emily insisting on asking Jill for help but Rossi forbidding Emily to reach out to Jill as the paper supposedly affected her more than the team.
Emily saying how it's "adorable" Rossi is forbidding her to do something for the first time but knowing the sneak peeks for the episode, Emily is obviously gonna ignore Rossi and see Jill anyway
Emily lying to Rossi that she won't contact Jill
....back to Roger, waking up from his nap and the baby being calm
The baby is so adorable
Roger being a dad to the baby, if only he wasn't an unsub
The wife is awake but looks numb. Is Roger and his wife having martial problems?
Wife being suspicious of her husband
Wife having postpartum depression? Its
Wife's name is Emma
Wait.......shit, Emma's son is not Roger's son
Emma was assaulted and pregnant by one of her rapists?!
Roger admitting to Emma that he found one of the guys who raped her
Unlike Sydney, Emma being supportive of her husband committing crimes for her as she wants revenge against the guys to raped and assaulted her and got her pregnant
The episode and unsub is partially reminiscent of the more tragic unsubs in past seasons but with a more darker turn
Emma being relieved that Roger made the third victim suffer and that he found the last of the four men who attacked her
Emma wanting to be present when Roger tortures the fourth victim and making him admit his and his friends' crimes
Roger hoping that Emma will give her son a chance and the family can become whole once they kill the final victim
Emma feeling that she'll only be at peace once all the men who attacked her are gone
Roger and Emma holding hands and hoping they can be a family again after killing the fourth victim
Roger abducting the last victim
....dear God, that was fucking brutal
Roger making the guy suffer while allowing Emma to deliver the final killing blow
Back to Tyler and Tara discussing what they know about the paper
Situational psychopathy, is it possible to turn empathy on and off
Situation psychopathy being useful in training soldiers, snipers and even first responders
Emily asking Tyler for help, obviously she's disobeying Rossi and getting Tyler to help her contact Jill
The sneak peek
Jason Gideon, it's been a while since we last saw him, and not the younger version or footage from past episodes
Jill being the only therapist Gideon trusted
Jill also possibly help assist in the paper and being a silent partner in getting the BAU off the ground
Jill's specialty being biological psychology also similar to epigenetics
We finally got to see Vincent Orlov, Elias' lawyer, and ugh, I can already tell he's getting on my nerves
Vincent saying Elias is allowed attorney client privileges and convincing the security turn off their cameras so that the two are allowed to talk freely, and I know it's definitely something bad
I still wonder how Elias managed to recruit him
Elias' sentencing is going through next week but of course Elias will find a way to delay it or make things work in his favor
Elias hearing rumors that his deal isn't going through
The deal being gone
Elias asking Vincent to find Damien
Vincent is married but now divorced
Not Elias using Vincent's ex wife as leverage to keep Vincent in check
Tyler telling Emily that he doesn't want to be a liar and actually be useful to the team
Not Emily messing with Tyler again
Emily saying "just uh fucking drive" while she and Tyler smile
Tyler having another awkward session in the car with someone from the team
JJ and Luke learning that Roger used sulfuric acid and hydrogen peroxide to kill his victims
Roger dissolving the victims' bodies
"Piranha solution" so that's why the episode is called "piranha"
JJ and Luke asking for help in finding a victimology connection
"It's why you and I are finally friends" really Garcia? Idk if she was joking or being sarcastic but was the past 6 seasons of friendship mean nothing to you?
Luke saying "Finally" in a mocking tone. Garcia's comment would've pissed me off if that was me
Anonymous email from Roger, the unsub and Roger blaming the asshole victims for impregnating his wife
Luke asking if any of the victims had a history of sexual violence
Alan George having a sexual assault conviction
Luke saying "thanks friend" and Garcia saying "You're welcome friend"
How the fuck did that guy even survived the assault from earlier
The last victim seeing Emma and throwing up as he can't lie to her
Emma being unable to pull the switch and Roger allowing him to do it for her. He still loves his wife
Roger killing the 4th victim and Emma watching the guy suffer
Emily at Jill's house
Jill asking about Hotch and Morgan, whom have all left and Reid, whom Emily says is on sabbatical, don't they mean assignment
Emily trying to get Jill to talk and Jill saying no and bringing up the paper
Still iffy on the actress but Jill saying "fuck me" ater Emily mentions the paper being leaked and letting her inside was hilarious
Emily putting her gun inside Jill's drawer cause she hates guns
Roger and Emma being relieved that it's over. Shit, the baby is crying
Roger leaving Emma in the basement seems like a bad idea
So the last victim's name is Jeremy Moy and he had a fiancee
Jeremy's fiance is another man and JJ telling Garcia to leave the room as the email reveals that Jeremy raped Emma
The fiance being distraught that the man he loved was a rapist and who raped a woman
Did Jeremy Moy actually assaulted Emma or did Roger found the wrong guy? Or is the fiance is in denial?
Emily trying to convince Jill to come to the BAU with her and help the team with the paper
Jill moving on from Jason's death a long time ago, her main problem has nothing to do with her husband but with Rossi
Jason was killed in 10x13 and it came out in 2015, so he passed in 2014/15 which means the episode takes place in 2023, or is it another continuity issue?
Jill being distrustful of Rossi
Jill telling Emily that Gideon cared about her
Jill not holding back when she admits that her ex husband can be dramatic and Emily agreeing while saying that Rossi is the opposite of all of that
Jill asking Emily if she knew the truth about why Rossi initially left the BAU in 1997 and it was not cause he was tired of the bureaucracy and wanted to write books but apparently it's not cause of all of that
Emily's reactions to learning that Rossi and Jill had an affair and then she broke his heart was hilarious
Man, this is gonna be awkward
Folie a deux with Roger and Emma
So the guys didn't rape Emma but Roger believes they're the ones who hurt her
JJ and Luke feeling that they're missing a lead in the case so they can't deliver the profile
Emily telling Jill that Rossi told her she is forbidden from seeing Jill
Jill believing that Rossi is also dramatic
Jill saying she can't help the team but we know she eventually shows up at the BAU floor
Jill asking Emily about JJ and being impressed that she's a profiler as she only knew her when she used to be a liaison
"Helping younger agents.."
Jill seeing through Emily's profile
Not Jill roasting Tyler and saying how despite the similarities to him and her son, Jill still states that her son is much more handsome. I need to find a photo of Gideon's son from 10x13
Emily trying to use morphopsychology on Jill but she knows he
Emily wanting Tyler Green to be part of the next generation of the BAU? Tyler being a future BaU agent? Not sure how I feel about it
Emily trying to guilt trip Jill into helping them by using JJ and and Tyler
Jill admitting that Emily is more manipulative
Roger trying to calm the baby and Emma calling for him
Wtf happened to Emma
Dr Moreno possibly being the next victim?
Their relationship possibly falling apart
I'm worried for the baby
JJ discussing rape trauma
So the men are a genetic manifestation for the unsub and they're not rapists but they're sperms donors
Luke believing that there was no rape involved
Roger was infertile?
Shit, Roger abducted Dr Moreno and is about to kill her
JJ and Luke learning about Roger and Emma
The four victims are sperms donors for the couple's ivf treatment
Implantation was a success but Emma gave birth at home, where Roger suffered a break from reality which made him believe that the sperms donors were rapists
Emma has hypertension and risk for late-term miscarriage, which means she could possibly die without proper help and immediate medical help
So Roger wanted this and Emma had no control or say in this decision and Dr Moreno giving him a reality check
Luke and JJ found Roger
Holy shit, Emma has been dead the whole time? And wtf?! I'm getting flashbacks to Normal
That is fucking horrifying
Luke not telling Roger that his wife is actively dead as it would break him even more
JJ and Luke's silent expressions as they can't help but sympathize with the unsub
Elias getting a phone call
Vincent calling Elias
Did Elias tell Vincent to dig up a kill kit?
Elias telling Vincent to give Damien the case with the combination being 4-0-0-8
Elias telling Vincent not to open the case, it's a trap isn't it
Emily and Tyler bringing Jill to the BAU floor and sees how much it has changed
Jill seeing Garcia and hugging her and seeing Tara
Idk why her seeing Reid's desk made me emotional
Luke's desk across from Tara
Jill being emotional seeing the BAU floor and being in Rossi’s office, which used to be Gideon's
Jill going through Rossi's stuff and pausing to see his wedding photos with Krystall
Jill seeing the unpublsihed paper her husband and Rossi worked on
Shit, Rossi and Jill see each other again, this may or may not be awkward for them
This episode was another good one, but they could've put up a disclaimer or warnings considering the mentions of rape and the reveals of a stillborn baby
#criminal minds#criminal minds evolution#cm evolution#criminal minds spoilers#cm spoilers#cme spoilers#cm 17x07#cme 2x07
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Since seelkie!Y/N probably doesn't know what the sky is cause they probably cant read they probably think the night sky is lke another ocean and i find that so funny.
"Do you think if we of sat on Crimson's head and went towards the sky we would be able to touch the glowing jellyfish in the sky?"
I have no idea how much the other two can comprehend science but I feel like they would still think "yeah no that's wrong"
But Crimson would also egg them on and be like "No I'm pretty sure there glowing sea stars" (They know that's not true but this is so funny)
So yeah that's my silly little thought that came to me. It makes me wonder how much are the three educated on stuff out of the sea?
lol yeah they have no idea.
out of the two dust is the nerdiest when it comes to stars. the dolphin mers are one of the most curious and knowledge seeking bunch out of any siren! he knows there's a pattern to stars and he often uses them to find his way around the sea in nighttime! he's also been interested in studying them ever since he was a pup!
he doesn't know what stars ARE. but he knows they're useful for mapping out places and finding general direction.
though they disappeare when it's cloudy or it rains. dust thinks stars are pretty. he doesn't want to think much about WHAT they are tho. the stars seem to be either afraid of the sun or the sun might simply just be covering them up like the clouds... he isn't sure.
dust can't read human languages but he can read his own native siren text and other mer carvings... the jumped mess of ancient leviathan text crimson brings him thoooo he has no idea wtf that is. it's just some gibberish squiggly lines.
crimson head canons stars as other leviathans in a VEEEEERRRRY distant ocean upwards. they think stars are albgler fish traps out there.
that's gotta be a BIIIIIIIG angler fish for it's light to reach this far. and the sun is like this... weird glowy orb that comes and goes in-between the sky ocean and ground ocean.
no they don't believe the earth is flat because to them instead of north south west and east you can also go "up" and "down"
so to them earth isn't a surface it's a MASS! they don't think it's flat either. that's just dump. where would all the water go?
crimson is completely illiterate lol. they have no idea how to read anything. it wasn't really useful when it came to developing survival skills in the ocean.
as for y/n? they can read other ocean people's interpretations of their own language. so... like after a few words and telepathic tuning they CAN speak any mer language!
as for reading... that might take longer for them to learn. even with direct telepathy they still need to memorize the text pattern TO the meaning. (kinda like how Anya from spy x family would solve difficult questions if she had someone who knew the answer next to her)
this isn't the case for humans as selkies cannot read human minds. so y/n PROBABLY doesn't know how to read or write in human language.
there are selkies who have jobs and bring in fish for humans, trade stuff with them and speak their language... but even they aren't fluent in human tongue as they wear ugly masks and carry weapons for self defense.
humans are dangerous. so unless there's a need to be involved with them there's no point learning their language is there?
out of all three y/n can speak and translate the most sealife languages due to their innate ability. they also know a bit of siren glyphs but it's basically just them knowing their alphabet and the word hello.
they're a quick learner tho!
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i was just trying something here and the week is now over (this was also getting longer than expected)
random thoughts of the week 😮💨
that song from north west is so catchy i can’t lie! it’s your bestie ~ miss miss westie ~~~
tiktok shop is really ruining the experience on there
andrew and emma broke up over a decade ago .. please get it together stop the lala land edits i beg
idk if those summer fridays lip balms are worth $24
i need to start watching sports these men are always fighting
selena selena selener… oh girl hahahaha
are kids really in 8th grade unable to spell their own names? what is going on?
still hate a man with a podcast mic
i really have no memory of fantasia and jennifer hudson being on the same season of american idol… i thought they were on different ones? you mean jennifer wasn’t a winner but won in the end?! oh i know that’s right!!
i’m actually shocked kylie didn’t walk the carpet at a wonka premiere yet she was there for most of them?
pardi is 40??? he has a kid???????
they did WHAT in the senate hearing room!!!!
suki still has that photo up on twitter cropping nabiyah out? oh she’s a nasty one and stands by it
and fuck south korea for not giving bts that exemption! giving it to people for playing fucking video games! are they insane?!
ariana needs to just rest and revamp rem beauty OR let it go
both of those rings are hideous
the day james gunn stops coming online and fact checking every damn thing is the day i know peace
these white boys of the month are more in the gutter each time. bring back the heartthrob!
seeing those pics of emma stone from behind with that long black hair for poor things is actually the thing convincing me to watch. idk what it’s about otherwise but that hair!
i never really felt deeply about veneers but zendaya should never get them. she has to keep the toof
it’s been time to recast kang
i really do love the bow trend. that one is really cute
i just want zac efron to be happy
how are they mad at people keeping up with tz and call us weirdos who only like tom and don’t like z when they get majority of their z news from here… if we didn’t like her how does that work? if they really thought we were the weirdos why are they here too?
book authors making fake accounts to leave 1 star reviews? on goodreads? wtf
i would love for meghan and megan to meet
i’m shocked people like the movie the holiday so much. even more that people loved the jack and kate relationship. i must’ve tuned them out each time i watched cause i have no idea how they happened
bridergton will be cancelled before they get to all those love stories. they gotta start doubling up. and shouldn’t have changed the order
drake and camilla cabello? please be serious!
why are they even releasing aquaman in theaters?
sydney sweeney is suddenly styled incredibly well
where is simone ashley casting news
the 9 month cruise on a boat from 2003 sounds like a bad idea
who was that white man who instantly became more attractive saying that grown woman by beyoncé was his favorite song by her?
when are they announcing spider man 4?
what did charles say to get them to totally ruin the crown? they were on his neck before. claire foy didn’t work her ass off for them to end the show like that
my reading goal is going to be 40 next year i’m over this
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PEPPERMINT AND SCOUT Q&A!!!
scout is image #1 she is the younger sister of pepper star scout she prefers to be called scout. her antlers are made of magic ice called forever ice that never melts and if you touch them you can get frost bite. and her fur/skin is so cold if you hug or touch her for too long you will get hypothermia. she also has the ability to freeze her enemies in forever ice they will stay alive as long as their in it and it will keep them from aging too so it can also save someones life say someone is about to die from something there is no cure from or from a bad injury she could freeze then and it can save them by keeping them alive till a cure can be found! she is a kind and caring reindeer and she tries so hard to make friends but nobody wants near her afraid to be frozen or to touch her she tries to help people but is always denied cuz she also sometimes freezes the things she touches (fucking elsa reindeer i guess lol wtf) she loves it when people rub her antlers she used to have a friend who would do it but she passed away now her brother does it for her! even after he gets frost bite he is her best friend! and takes care of her! pepper image #2 is a loyal and caring brother who has no powers of his own besides slight amunity to scouts coldness. he has always been there for his sister and is always hanging out with her he is also very protective of her as well he will beat the shit out of anyone who physically, verbally or emotionally hurts her and he doesnt like it when other reindeer call her P.A.T fat (thats a way of calling someone hot) he has never left his sisters side not since their parrents died when they were young! (and they both live in the north where its cold)
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okkk north star (17x08) comments below the cut
damien is supposed to be this scary dude but like... does he ever kill? because so far we've only seen jade kill right?! (i mean actually see on screen)
rossi and jill GOING AT IT lmao (also, yeah I agree with JJ, Rossi wouldn't say anything, but Gideon would yeah)
OUCH, blaming him for Gideon's death is lowwwwwww (like really really low)
jill leaked it????????? oh jill that was naive
Rossi is such a gentleman, like, we know the man has a reputation of being a whore and yet, everytime we see him actually love someone (Emma, Jill,....) it ends up with him never really going to bed with those women lmao
ohh Rossi baby I feel you with the right person wrong timing thing; it fucking sucks
hiiiii rebecca girl how u doing???
that tattoo looks ugly af lmao damien you suck at this
see my girl jade is out there doing everything
I like this change we got with JJ and Luke being more out in the field; being the "brute force" of the team... I kinda like feel like it suits JJ to be in this position (also I think it's a bit of a parallel with how Emily/Derek used to be, that kind of sibling relationship)
of course the files were empty;
We're supposed to hate them, but like I don't hate Jade at all, I'm more interested to see where her character is going then anything else. Damien though, I don't give a fuck about him, also I kinda think he's manipulating Jade somehow (idk don't ask me I just don't like the guy)
still hate tyler sorry (not sorry)
yeah Jill is in danger, that I knew it was going to happen.
I don't know if I buy the damien not knowing/buying into voit's story (i don't trust that guy)
why is tyler interogating a person? like.... come onnnnnn, rebecca couldn't get garcia and jj on it?! someone else, anyoneeee???
oh at least Tara was on it;
Jill offering herself as bait is bound to go wrong (very wrong)
ohhh Rossi finally getting that kiss. My man is so messed over it I wanna hug him
THEY LEFT HER ALONE???? come onnnnn they're not this dumb wtf they know they attack at night
Rossi gets really dumb with a kiss which I relate. I also get dumb around pretty women
OH THE CABIN, that's where she went
ohh he killed his foster dad? that's really sad
OMGGGGGG jade no
that was so sad, but also.... I kinda thought he was going to off himself in the cabin
oh I like the choice of having her running in the beginning of the episode, and then her running at the end of it.
because she heard it didn't she? she knows what he knows
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the way emily's morality is the central thing that makes her feel okay about the work she does and the world she lives in and having her north star (no pun intended) disrupted in this way this season is so singularly destabilizing and devastating to her.
she feels very chaotic lawful to me. y'know, that meme alignment that's like "i have a strict moral code but no one can figure out wtf it is". like, obviously we have a sense of the strict moral code she's created for herself, but looking at it from the outside, considering emily's actions over the years, it appears that she's done TONS of morally grey stuff, everything from lying to put civilians at ease (ex: 4x24) to using excessive force with unsubs/witnesses who push her buttons (ex: 3x05, 5x10) to deleting evidence that would incriminate reid (ex: 12x13, etc). but she can justify all of that under the heading of 'the greater good'.
'the greater good' is so emily's white whale to me.
her deathgrip on morality also feels so connected to the codes she'd have to keep in order to mentally endure the kind of long-term undercover work she did with jtf-12. obviously applies to the doyle situation, the internal rules she'd have to follow, the safety rails she'd have to create, in order to protect herself from the chaos and corruption surrounding her every day, particularly when she was in such intimate contact with all that mess. how do you justify giving crazy ballistics to terrorists knowing they'll be used to inflict maximum harm? you tap into that sense of 'the greater good' and bide your time to win not just this battle, but the war. and in that kind of practical and moral isolation, the only steadying force you can rely on must be internal, must be the self. keeping in mind also that doyle was jtf-12's last mission, and that team had been working together on similar assignments for at least a few years. that's enough time to craft a very particular paradigm that allows you to survive those situations with your sense of self still somewhat intact while always questioning 'was it worth it?' 'do i still know where the line is?' 'am i still good?' as emily does constantly throughout both cm classic and evolution.
besides her work, a strict and self-contained moral code is so correct for emily personally. not to always be on the 'you can take the girl out of the catholic church' soapbox but like. you can take the girl out of the catholic church. i could honestly write a whole other essay on emily essentially replacing faith with duty, on treating her work as a mission of faith (there's that greater good again), on the facets of emily "angel of justice" prentiss. shan't go ham with that now but i will say, take a girl betrayed by her strictly moral and structured faith, a girl who never felt at home in a family life that was similarly governed by social standing and artifice, and i give you rebellious, goth, contrarian, 'you can't tell me i'm bad, only i can tell me i'm bad' prentiss who strains against all those external impositions of morality while creating her own set of rules she imposes so heavily upon herself complete with self-judgement and self-punishment the catholic church wishes it could pull off.
anyways.
this scene--this whole season tbh--exploring emily's moral erosion and the way it unravels her like nothing else feels so in step with all her philosophical and moral questioning in the early seasons of cm. in those years, she's always the one asking 'how different are we?' 'could any of us become monsters?' etc, likely prompted by all the horrors she's witnessed at close range (and participated in to some extent), all under the moral shield of furthering 'the greater good'.
i love that we're getting to see her wrestle with that really openly again, and it makes me wonder if this moral rock bottom could prompt her to question the entire system. her conversation with jade in 17x10 about buying all the bullshit feels like it could be a fascinating opening gambit of emily pushing back on the soul-crushing, morality-blurring politics of her role as section chief and of the fbi itself in the coming seasons. she's always been a pain in bureaucracy's ass, and i think it would be fun to see how hard she can go in that direction. we see a glimmer of it in her conversation with director madison and the way she does something a little morally questionable (borderline blackmailing her Boss) in order to handle an awful situation with empathy and humanity (letting jade see mila and reuniting pete with his parents). it's so quintessentially emily and reads to me like the beginning of a real return to herself, a stabilization of her own moral core rather than the one imposed by the bureau or any other external forces. and i wonder if this reaffirmation of self could be the beginning of recovering that familiar, long-lost drive she saw in bailey and the beginning of forgiving herself.
Criminal Minds Evolution 17x05 - Conspiracy vs Theory
"Ever since I was arrested, I have sold out every value I've held dear. And when you do that, it gets harder and harder to tell the difference between a 'conspiracy' and a conspiracy theory."
#criminal minds#emily prentiss#david rossi#prentissposting#grem leans#emily prentiss meta#mayhaps#insert ben sisko's morally grey monologue about how he can live with it#this may have gotten away from me but s'oo la voo#you can take the girl out of the catholic church#morality and associated yammerings
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rise and shine, lovely classmate! have a nice day (or whatever)! 'omg you need lenses' yeah... i still got questions like 'are you wearing your lenses today?' from people who know i cant see without my glasses and do wear lenses. every time im just ???? 'are you an onion?' you never know... i feel sorry for these times so i say it?.. remember the first time i learnt sorry means both apologizing and feeling bad for smn, i was bros these are different words wtf... 'you were attacked?' I MEAN. shes the clingy type of drunk. shes pretty touchy in general. and YES my poor pretty butt was ATTACKED. yesterday she slapped it so unexpectedly i dropped my phone... '[pets head]' meowmeow. 'i wonder why languages thought it was a good idea to make words fem and masc' ig like ive said half logic and half why not. probably some traditions of patriarchal society that language just absorbed, maybe just logically the forms of other words that were paired with pronouns kept stable with others. we never TRULY know. maybe just a crazy king said i want to refer to a girl as neuter (its been years but still german wtf). 'ur so mean' take it after my catmom. 'why am i a baby?' 1)youre a baby 2) youre so clueless abt su so youre a baby in it TT 'im so sorry. it was like an expression' OH its ok no need to apologize so much. i see now. youre educational. but english IS indeed a rat. sorry not sorry. 'i wonder what ur teacher said' AJAHDJF no we didnt talk abt it... BUT my classmates who never even opened the book were SO loud about 'knowing its about a kink'. they were even proud? to not think 'properly' and searching for the meaning witch literature usually does but understanding its about 🤩SEX🤩 SO big brained of them. men yuck. they can and must go touch yellow snow. but after the lesson we still talked a lil abt him being worldwife and being kinky in literally 'the encyclopedia of russian life' as one lit critic said. WHAT THE cat drama do you have there TT tbh im so sorry for them all TT none of these pure creatures deserves to suffer from a life like this. 'you dont have to give me fic ideas everyday' still dont take all my words to heart. i know i dont. i wouldnt be able even if i wanted to💀 if im sincere or sarcastic in russian then theres a comma after sorry but if not then i try to make it less serious. witn the absence of a comma... nvm. id give you that daemon idea i teased you already as soon as your dream brainrot ends. even if its enDLESS gsijgerg sorry. 'read and fear follow war' so true so unfortunate. 'russia would come and bonk me' well not all russia. st. petersburg has a rather humid-ish climate, as i know, Far East (basically the east of russia as well as the northern(?) part of the continent. it has a common border with china so the asian influence is pretty big) is humid too. dryness is the feature of places with low temperature. everywhere. 'at least you can see the stars better' does it worth struggling with health problems?? like... the salaries in the north are higher just bc of the risks living here has💀. but i dont end up with completely bad stuff!! that meme you replyed with ”𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤… 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐬.” HGJDJFJF rhaenyras' ass must be as little as laenor's efforts to make an heir.... I WANTED TO SAY THIS PUN SM. also? ive finished hotd's bts and. i confirm that i hate rhaenyra (esp young. sorry milly). as the character. shes absolutely irresponsible, reckless and spoilt. she had everything and still was what? why? its not a new thing for a princess in the fiction to be tired and wanting to 'live alone'. but rhaenyra was showed to not do these things?.. like she merely needs to pour wine and she still flies away? remember, im judgemental. i understand her character. and understand her intentions. but i personally dont like people like this (ESP after seeing how shes comparable to my ex-friend who screwed me a couple of times bc of her irresponsibility and talked shit abt me🤩). in this case im absolutely alicent. anyway. have a good day! good luck with all of your plans! luv u! take care <з
MY BINGBING HOLA <3
HAHAHAHAHAHAH LOOOK AT DIS CAT
rise and shine, lovely classmate! have a nice day (or whatever)!
i read this in the morning but i had class and did homework and a fic so its night now HAHHAHAHAH
'omg you need lenses' yeah... i still got questions like 'are you wearing your lenses today?' from people who know i cant see without my glasses and do wear lenses. every time im just ????
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOL press f to pay respect. f. i cant related i got 20/20 vision 🤩 this is where we differ
'are you an onion?' you never know...
i feel sorry for these times so i say it?.. remember the first time i learnt sorry means both apologizing and feeling bad for smn, i was bros these are different words wtf...
HAHAAHAAHAHAH i mean theyre different in filipino too but i get where theyre coming from lol. what a judger 🙄
'you were attacked?' I MEAN. shes the clingy type of drunk. shes pretty touchy in general. and YES my poor pretty butt was ATTACKED. yesterday she slapped it so unexpectedly i dropped my phone...
omg aslfhasfhlashfsaosafhsaf AHAHHAAHHAH. f. at least your ass is pretty (;
'[pets head]' meowmeow.
'i wonder why languages thought it was a good idea to make words fem and masc' ig like ive said half logic and half why not. probably some traditions of patriarchal society that language just absorbed, maybe just logically the forms of other words that were paired with pronouns kept stable with others. we never TRULY know. maybe just a crazy king said i want to refer to a girl as neuter (its been years but still german wtf).
DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY [SHOOTS MACHINE GUN] that king is so L. DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY [rATATATATATAT]
'ur so mean' take it after my catmom.
): no you dont, im not judgy like you
'why am i a baby?' 1)youre a baby
2) youre so clueless abt su so youre a baby in it TT
k
'im so sorry. it was like an expression' OH its ok no need to apologize so much. i see now. youre educational. but english IS indeed a rat. sorry not sorry.
i dont nearly apologize as much as you do so /: let me apologize T_T im glad i taught you that at least, albeit confusing you first
'i wonder what ur teacher said' AJAHDJF no we didnt talk abt it... BUT my classmates who never even opened the book were SO loud about 'knowing its about a kink'. they were even proud? to not think 'properly' and searching for the meaning witch literature usually does but understanding its about 🤩SEX🤩 SO big brained of them. men yuck. they can and must go touch yellow snow. but after the lesson we still talked a lil abt him being worldwife and being kinky in literally 'the encyclopedia of russian life' as one lit critic said.
stOP BOYS ARE SO YUCKY MEN ARE SO YUCKY THEY LIKE THIS ALL OVER THE WORLD BOOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO 🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🍅🍅🍅🍅🤢🤢🤢🤢👎👎👎👎❌❌❌❌ i remember many instances where this has happened in class never opened the book or listened but knows all the lewd stuff about it /: and so yuck. but still EW ABOUT THE YELLOW SNOW booooo 👎
WHAT THE cat drama do you have there TT tbh im so sorry for them all TT none of these pure creatures deserves to suffer from a life like this.
yeah BUT I SAW THE PAWLESS CAT TODAY my granny named him Tol, short for Putol which means... like broken? chopped? AHSFK>HAK>SFHAS lol at least hes not dead
'you dont have to give me fic ideas everyday' still dont take all my words to heart. i know i dont. i wouldnt be able even if i wanted to💀 if im sincere or sarcastic in russian then theres a comma after sorry but if not then i try to make it less serious. witn the absence of a comma... nvm.
T_T DAMN THAT WAS SARCASTIC ur so dry /: LOL i guess i will never believe you again. ever. never ever ever. 😭✊
id give you that daemon idea i teased you already as soon as your dream brainrot ends. even if its enDLESS gsijgerg sorry.
ur pun. lahsflhafasfhah ok. also, i love dream im not going to stop my brainrot anytime soon i think, OH OH OH BUT YOUR STORY IS IN MY QUEUE NOW!!! IN THE KEEP!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND THEN AFTER IS P3 OF THE MODERN DAEMON AU T_T AS:FASFASF: IT ONLY TOOK 5THOUSAND YEARS BUT ITS HERE
which one do you want me to do first btw? i havent written in the keep at all but i am like... halfway done with the p3 so if you want i can finish that first. nah i;ll just finish that first so i can post it tom HIHIIHIHIH
'read and fear follow war' so true so unfortunate.
😞.
'russia would come and bonk me' well not all russia. st. petersburg has a rather humid-ish climate, as i know, Far East (basically the east of russia as well as the northern(?) part of the continent.
🙃so waht if its humid if its like negative degrees ???? aslahsfasf
it has a common border with china so the asian influence is pretty big) is humid too.
oh! wow ur so right i was think of like the '-stan' countries i forgot china is huge and close to russia too lol HAHAHA
dryness is the feature of places with low temperature. everywhere.
wait so you mean st. petersburg is warm? sus
'at least you can see the stars better' does it worth struggling with health problems?? like... the salaries in the north are higher just bc of the risks living here has💀.
damn
but i dont end up with completely bad stuff!!
well im glad! lshddsglhsdgds stay safe and take care always ok
that meme you replyed with ”𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤… 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐬.” HGJDJFJF
MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR WHEN I SAW THAT LAHLAHSFLKASF WHAT IS THAT ALSHFALHFLASHF LOL HAHAHAH
rhaenyras' ass must be as little as laenor's efforts to make an heir.... I WANTED TO SAY THIS PUN SM.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ok my love T_T i hope youre satisfied.
also? ive finished hotd's bts and. i confirm that i hate rhaenyra (esp young. sorry milly).
RIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP POOORRRR MILLLYY HAHHHAAA
as the character. shes absolutely irresponsible, reckless and spoilt. she had everything and still was what? why? its not a new thing for a princess in the fiction to be tired and wanting to 'live alone'. but rhaenyra was showed to not do these things?.. like she merely needs to pour wine and she still flies away? remember, im judgemental. i understand her character. and understand her intentions. but i personally dont like people like this
yeah no youre so right. she does live in a world of privilege so i understand where youre coming from. i mean they're all born from places of privelage so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk i feel neutral for her, and everyone, or at least i think i do cos its been a while since i finished the show and all remember is mmm yum daemon mmm yum aemond mmm yum yum yum HAHAHHAH
(ESP after seeing how shes comparable to my ex-friend who screwed me a couple of times bc of her irresponsibility and talked shit abt me🤩).
emotional baggage who lasfhlakhfhas HAHHAHA. i hope youve found peace within yourself about her. i have had my fair share of ill wrought feelings and its genuinely better to forgive i find
in this case im absolutely alicent.
good for you. she cray too, everyone is, but im glad you found your favorite <3
anyway. have a good day! good luck with all of your plans! luv u! take care <з
i think ill finish editing my song cover tonight. or at least i hope i do.
im luv u so much thank you for dropping by today <3
xxx
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Defy Me by Tahereh Mafi
Goodreads:
The gripping fifth installment in the New York Times, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly bestselling Shatter Me series. Will Juliette’s broken heart make her vulnerable to the strengthening darkness within her? Juliette’s short tenure as the supreme commander of North America has been an utter disaster. When the children of the other world leaders show up on her doorstep, she wants nothing more than to turn to Warner for support and guidance. But he shatters her heart when he reveals that he’s been keeping secrets about her family and her identity from her—secrets that change everything. Juliette is devastated, and the darkness that’s always dwelled within her threatens to consume her. An explosive encounter with unexpected visitors might be enough to push her over the edge.
Review : (May Contain Spoilers)
*PURELY MY OPINION, AND I UNDERSTAND IF YOURS IS DIFFERENT FROM MINE.
Posting two reviews in a day just because I couldn’t put the book down! My eyes definitely needed a break but I just couldn’t. This is what happens when I get hooked on a series, I can’t seem to stop myself from flipping to the next page.
I’m gonna go ahead and skip how I love the cover of this book because you all know by now how much I like the concept over all with the changing designs of the eye.
So let’s go on with the plot, and as I said in my Restore Me Review we get to go on this whole new adventure of finding more details of The Reestablishment and how deeply involved Juliette Ferrars is in this plan. The review further to this contains spoilers, you’ve been warned.
I loved how Kenji was added into the POV concept of the book, it was really necessary since Ella (Real name of Juliette) and Aaron were far away at the beginning, and we still needed that point of view within the rebellion group and I just like how you can see the difference of the thought process of each character, like Aaron’s way of conceptualizing the things around him is deeply influenced by his military training, while Kenji has this very random, fast-paced kind of thinking especially when he’s with Nazeera, I just love how the two are still trying to cover up the fact that they work so well together.
And then we have Ms. Ella Sommers, taken away by her real parents to be experimented again and she’s back to being a mere test subject like... WTF. You’re breaking the girl Ms. Tahereh Mafi, her mental health is not the only thing broken at this point. I can’t help but feel sympathy for this girl, her life just sucks. Her real parents are psychopaths, her adopted parents are abusive, she got experimented on for years, her whole life is basically a lie and was manipulated by Anderson to his liking, who is very much still alive and maybe plotting Ella and Aaron’s death at this point, I don’t know, why can’t he just die, why can’t they just all die?
Emmaline, oh my gosh, dear Emmaline. She basically turned into a Siren. Like, why?! Why would a parent do that to her kid? If you think Ella has it bad, Emmaline has it worst and more. I think there was a line there where it was so descriptively accurate, like Ella is lucky that she forgot all of those things in her past, she didn’t know how twisted her real life was, but Emmaline remembers everything, EVERYTHING. All those experiments done to her, all that happened, from being taken to Ella being taken, to snippets of their parents talking about them, from the day she lost her sight, her ability to hear and even talk, she remembers it all. This poor girl!
I love the ending though, it was a very happy one, everything is good, but you know, it’s the calm before the storm. You know that shit’s going to happen, and the author just needed you to have this moment to relax and take a breather from all the things she made you go through. I am currently already holding the next book in my hand, and I don’t even know if I plan to sleep at this point.
Without any hesitation, 5 stars. It’s the perfect plot before the finale (now I’m really sure that we’re by the end now), I have nothing else to say, just... I got to go read Imagine Me!
Till next time!
#the bookgoddess#the bookgoddess reviews#the bookgoddess book reviews#defy me#tahereh mafi#book review#booklr#shatter me series#ella sommers#juliette ferrars#aaron warner#kenji kishimoto#emmaline sommers#nazeera ibrahim#book blog#5 stars#dystopia#ya fantasy
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