#she's always been a bit strange

[anormalkidingotham]

my aunt is going down a crazy religious route and now she thinks me and my family should move out of gotham because, according to her, it is "full of demons and evil" and she even thinks that batman is a vampire

[hood-ex]

Apologizing to Big Mama (the new very large spider in my bathroom) because my neighbor's car alarm has now gone off for the 4th time tonight. Like bro. Big Mama is trying to chill, and you're keeping her awake!!

[nikatyler]

let your OCs get a little squishy, it's good for you

[zivaninja]

Blue Bloods finale things/spoilers under the cut that I wanted to yell about:

• Jamko parents!!! Parents!! Oh how far they've come 😭

• I'm going to miss Eddie Janko so damn much, that's my girl.

•Jack and Erin getting married!! They finally got their happy ending. And the looks on their faces at dinner as they decided to keep it to themselves was just so 💜😭

• Danny's face when Henry tells him to find his person to come home to. He already knows.

• Danny Reagan! Asking Maria Baez! On a date! And her saying yes! He doesn't need to go look for his person because she's right there besides him. And the look on her face when she agreed!!

[dyketennant]

oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show

[langfield]

Hi. So although I’m starting to understand more about Safi as a character, there’s still something I can’t get over and wondered how you saw it. Seeing as Safi knows first hand the pain of a parents’ divorce, and was furious with Yasmin for keeping her dad out of her life, how could she do what she did to Robbie? Like I get that she wanted to hurt Lucas in the most extreme way possible but to use his child against him, a child who she was fairly close to as well, is crossing a line into making her unlikable for me. I would argue it ended up hurting Robbie more than Lucas since Lucas knows it’s not true that it was Robbie’s fault but Robbie will have to grapple with wondering if it’s true maybe for years to come. Apparently Lucas said that was the least bad thing that was said to Robbie? I get Safi was acting irrationally but she could have idk made him pee his pants on stage or something? When Max points out how wrong what she did was she still doesn’t seem to have much remorse either. Just my two cents. I know it’s just a game but yeah, that plot point touched a nerve with me and it doesn't bode well for her future power squad leadership. Just wondered how you saw this? thanks

ah, yes, the robbie thing. i will say off the bat that i do view this action of hers negatively : in the sense that i cannot sympathize with it in particular. while i understand hurting gwen and lucas ( both of whom did betray her -- especially gwen, despite all her good intentions ) i don’t give safi any slack for harming a child in the process. my max always allows lucas to file a restraining order against her, and though she bites her tongue about robbie during their talk, she doesn’t approve nor necessarily understands safi’s reasoning for it. her ‘cold, but i get it’ is a vague affirmation she doesn’t really mean, but is willing to say in order not to trigger safi further. at this point max can overlook it because safi is still a flight risk and she is notorious for setting side her own morals to agree with her best friend’s choices ( the handicap fund in lis1 jumps to mind immediately, a choice max hated making and did not agree with, but did so for chloe’s safety ). however, i believe safi hurting robbie was an intentional line the game drew. while anyone could easily get behind safi’s revenge narrative against those who actually wronged her, not many would be down to see innocents hurt in the crossfire … in many ways, robbie’s situation is supposed to show that safi’s vicious nature can easily get out of hand, and that ( perhaps! ) her view on things isn’t so clear at all. a point that’s further made, i think, in how fast her emotions change in episode five! even unintentionally, those actions she makes in anger does indeed hurt everyone around her, from the guilty to the innocent. for example, moses gets caught in the storm and is subjected to being overruled by safi herself, despite the fact moses isn’t subjected to the torment lucas and gwen recieve. he describes his experience like being locked in a sarcophagus, with him being locked away inside his own body. it’s clear that the part of safi within him did this to protect him in some way ( from the storm, from herself? ) but this hurts him in the end regardless due to the events she still set in motion. safi isn’t just capable of hurting those deserving, she is also prone to hurting those she cares for via carelessness and a narrow view. so her hurting robbie, despite probably caring for him, isn’t the shocking part. it’s the deliberateness of it. it’s the fact he is a child and she’s an adult. it’s about her knowing the pains of divorce as a child and pressing into that wound anyway. perhaps even creating it.

frankly, i can see many reasons why she would. perhaps it’s one or the other, or a messy concoction of every single one. though the most important thing to remember here is a.) this is definitely not a forgivable act, and the game wants you to look at safi differently for this choice, and b.) i do think safi is supposed to grow from this decision she made. my personal belief is that being away from caledon and her mother and vinh will help shape her with a bit more compassion than she has … she is in no condition to lead or teach, and in many ways is just as naive and new to this like diamond is. i honestly believe she’ll learn more from daniel and alex than they could ever learn from her. i believe this trip is supposed to give safi the breathing room and connections she so desperately needs in order to become better, or begin that road to closure and healing. she is most definitely not a leader! alex, daniel, nor max need a leader. to me, finding other people like her is more about self discovery than anything else, but i digress.

to touch upon something i mentioned earlier, safiya’s view of things has been warped and bent by her anger, which in turn thwarts any logical thinking. she has become selfish in her pain, wallowing in it and refusing to move on for four plus years -- repeatedly picking at that wound over and over again to keep those feelings fresh, and to remind herself of maya, and the book, and the betrayals that followed. her inability to talk about it also makes it easier to get lost in, since she has no anchor that grounds her in reality, nor any outside help besides gwen’s encouragement to put those feelings into poetry. safiya felt silenced by others and therefore silenced herself, and i’m sure many people know how easy it is to become self obsessed with all the trauma you’ve mounted in your head … how easily one can grow entitled or righteous when the only voice you’re ever hearing is your own. things become simple and clear even when they’re not, things become digestible, they become problems that can be simplified and excused. i don’t think safiya shows remorse for what she did to robbie because, in her eyes, there isn’t anything to be sorry for. whatever feelings of disgust or shame she initially had has long since been rationlized to her, to the point where it makes complete sense and was a necessary evil for a bigger plan. maybe safi was able to convince herself that the cruel things she told robbie ( while wearing his father’s face ) were honest truths the kid had to hear now rather than later? maybe safi convinced herself that robbie, just like she had been, was the reason for the divorce, and that she was being rather kind in telling him that horrific truth when everyone else would’ve lied to him. or maybe safi didn’t care ; perhaps she looked upon this kid who still had contact with both of his parents and was filled with a sickening envy, one that choked all the air from her lungs, a greenish feeling that made her so mad she just spoke and spoke until she couldn’t anymore and that was that. safi is prone to misconstruing people in her head to fit her narratives, to justify her anger, to hide from the fact that she hates herself just as much as everyone else. she’s the same person who claims that vinh doesn’t regret bending to caledon despite doing the same thing herself and confessing to such regret to max. despite vinh consistently beating himself up over what he did to maya as well, just like her. again, she is nothing but tunnel vision after her book deal is cancelled, and when left without a proper target to channel that anger into, those feelings sort of explode everywhere instead. all while she justifies it to herself and believes everyone to be guilty … always on the lookout for the slightest hint of betrayal so that she may retaliate first. safiya might appear very poised, intelligent, and strong during most of her scenes ( and she is all three of these things! ) yet her behavior is erratic, scared, a little more than paranoid and exhausting.

if she cannot see past her own hurt, why would she feel any particular way about hurting robbie? if this is a world that guts everyone anyway ( a world that sells them for parts ), what’s the point of sparing this child? it’s an immature world view, although an understandable one. nothing saved maya. nothing’s gonna save safi. this is how the world works, with the people you love most dying or betraying you … maybe robbie would be wise to learn that sooner than later, especially considering the absolute monster his father is. or, perhaps, it’s all about lucas : maybe safi knew there was no other way to destroy him, not when caledon covered for him before, so she went where it’d hurt and dug in as deep as she could to ensure there was no sweeping things under the rug anymore. maybe lucas was so evil and vile in her mind, that all of his kin was rendered revolting by extension? sins of the father and all that?

regardless, the brutal truth of it all is that safiya does not care for the people around her at this point in time. i mean, she does deeply love moses and max, but she does not care for them, if that makes sense? she doesn’t even care for herself, as evident by the suicidality she reveals during the storm, via this brainwashed person and the plaque on the science department’s roof :

i do not mean to imply that safi is at all evil or wrong for these feelings of apathy, because they’re rather understandable feelings to have during this intense time. when i say she doesn’t care for robbie, i mostly mean that she’s too tired and too angry to properly empathize with others ; it isn’t a conscious decision, she did not just flip her compassionate and empathy off, safi has just merely shut down beneath the ever growing weight of her own emotions, which are far too powerful for her to withstand alone. we see how she physically breaks apart into ‘tiny pieces’ at the very end of episode four … she shatters, completely, until there is no more safi left. mainly because safi has neglected herself in this quest for vengeance, mainly because safi has never existed, or so she thinks, mainly because safi has spent four years relating everything back to maya okada and desperately wanting to lay down and die over how that emptiness made her feel. this doesn’t excuse her callousness towards robbie or for using him as a pawn -- though i find the action to be realistic and, while fucked up, understandable and tragic in it’s own way. robbie is the face of a much bigger problem safi possesses, a problem the game starts with him, and then ends with the storm : where we see the extent of her apathy ( like we see with vinh, someone who safi used to be close to as well ) and general discontent with the world around her, how safi is always grouping everyone in her life together rather than acknowledging them as seperate entities. her thinking is very black and white in that way. i will say that i do think safi regrets the robbie thing, at least momentarily, in the same way she regrets everything she’s done … when safi demands max to kill her, she claims it’ll fix everything, that she deserves it for hurting so many people. robbie isn’t mentioned specifically, but i do think this is one of those things she is able to feel the weight of in that specific moment, before all that anger piles up again. it’s not enough, although it is something i keep in mind. at safi’s core, she doesn’t like hurting people. this is the same girl who was known by her dad and mom as desperately trying to save a cat from a tree, breaking her arm over it, and then crying on the way to the hospital about if the cat was okay or not. this is the same girl who feels so guilty for not helping her soulmate, she has dedicated her entire life to her as penance. this is the same girl who, despite yasmin covering up what lucas did and despite their constantly turbulent relationship, forgave her mom and tried her best to make it work. it is very easy to remember safi as how she is during double exposure, a deeply angry person who is unfairly dragging everyone down with her, but she isn’t some bloodsucking monster who delights in that pain she’s causing per se. she is hurt, and highly emotional, and does awful things because of it -- things like toss a kid into a personal hell all because of a plan, all because she’s desperate to get lucas in a way that’ll stick, all because she thought herself as the cause of her parents divorce and so robbie has to be too.

again, it’s not a choice of hers that is easy to digest! it is meant to show a darker side to safi’s need for revenge, her tunnel vision, the extent of her obsession with this. i’m actually glad it touched a nerve with you because i think it’s supposed to make the player feel a certain type of way about her. however, i do hope i shed some light on safi’s decision to do this, and that this helped you understand her somewhat, even if you never agree with her ( as you shouldn’t! ). thank you so much for this question by the way, i absolutely adore getting these sorts of asks where i can analyze the characters more in depth. or at least attempt to! safi is so infinitely complex and reserved that there are many reasonings you could find behind her actions, making her fun to dissect, even if all her inner workings are mostly wounds and a deep seated mood instability.

[ruvviks]

toying with the idea of making yancey's friends not real. would that be too evil

[horrorwebs]

why are men literally the fucking worst

[keeps-ache]

ouhhh i'm turning into my grandmother [chewing on wriggley's gum]

[roboticutie]

My ferrets are seniors now and are slowly getting Old Ferret Diseases :(

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Oh that’s just whack after whack.

[dent-de-leon]

wAIT just thinking about what Tal said...I really hope that doesn't imply that Lestera might have poisoned herself--

[2ofswords]

Gerry's eye tattoos.... OH NO GERRY'S EYE TATTOOS!!

Elias can see through both real and metaphoric eyes.... And when Jon talked to him in ep 111 Gerry knew that the Watcher's Crown Ritual would be the next one to prevent and he also knew that Gertrude was already planing to take matters into her own hands.

It would make so much sense if Gerry is the one who accidentally tipped Elias off about Gertrudes plans to burn down the archive. He didnt know that detail but it wouldnt be too difficult to put two and two together after already suspecting that Gertrude was up to something.

And after all this time and effort Gertrude did apparently let her guard down with Gerry. We can see glimpses of that in ep 162. With her basically all alone she confided in him at least a little bit. And that might have been her downfall and what leads directly into the tragedy that is tma itself.

[pizzapizzadickz]

I often times find myself wondering when interacting with people "am I doing this right?'"

It used to be even more often, I probably was really anxious about it back then. Now... not so much? I still find myself worrying a bit. And especially trying to find the correct "answer" or action to say or do. But. It's not really by any fault of my own. It's just what's expected of me in social situations doesn't always come naturally. So I'm awkward. But idk. While I'll always probably try to find the right answer for things, I'm a bit less worried than I used to be. And I suppose that's something good in a way.

[linc-karo-27]

As they get older they revert back to Kitten levels of unchill it seems.

Or it's just an orange/Torrie trait.

my observation from 2 months of kittens

[starpros-sunshine]

Hmm tomorrow will be a tad awkward....