#the fact that he asked her out was hugely significant

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 12

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warning: Language Word Count: 8.5k Author’s Note: ...Hello 🙂 How has everyone been 🙂? Please dont look how long its been since I updated okay???? Lets focus on the fact that its chapter 12!!! Im so shook that its still going tbh but can i get a little commotion for still writing this? we really outchea!!! This story turned 3 years old a couple days ago lol I def should've been finished it already but hey, thats life! I want to thank everyone still invested and hope you love this new chapter! We have 2 chapters left!!!! Chapter 13 and an epilogue 🥲 so so bittersweet. but you guys have at least another year before its done lmaoo yall: thats not funny 😡 While rereading this story i realized something and I just want to mention, to anyone reading this fanfic, this is NOT a sign to get back with your ex!!!! ONLY if hes an exo member than you can consider it until then this is a work of FICTION!!! Pls pls dont be like Mel irl i beg 😫 Also is there anyone reading this named Melody? I thought about that too. Like you see thats the big nickname reveal and am like 'ok? thats just my name 🧍🏾‍♀️' lmfaoooo thats a funny thought! As always, thank you everyone! Replies, reblogs, and asks are greatly appreciated here! You know I LOOOOOVE yalls commentary, youre all so funny and it makes me so giddy when you tell me how the story made you feel 💕 Adore you all and hope you get to see bbh and kai this summer 😘

Being back in Seoul after everything that happened is different.

You’re different.

Yet, life doesn’t wait for you to adjust back into the routine you had before Jeju. You try your best to fall back into the life you had spent years perfectly curating, but find it frustratingly difficult to do so.

The hardest adjustment is Yerim’s new found absence. She’s become such a common fixture in your life, practically living with you, that not seeing her at all is a huge blow. You miss her laugh, her rants about her job and school, her bickering. She’s as much your little sister as she is Seulgi’s and it hurts not having access to her the way you once had. But you understand, so have been giving her the space she needs. That doesn’t stop you from constantly pestering Seulgi about her. Her response is always the same–Yerim needs more time. You have a feeling she’s keeping her distance because she doesn’t want to see Chanyeol, and you’ve told Suelgi to send the message that he is not in the picture, but whether she received the news or not, Yerim has yet to contact you in any way. 

Months pass by in a boring yet restless blur. The only day that really stands out is your birthday, but even with the little party Seulgi throws for you, and the facetime call you have with Sehun, it doesn’t hold any true significance. You distract yourself by keeping busy, throwing yourself into your work and Jongdae’s upcoming baby shower, which you volunteered to help decorate. Eunhee laughs every time you send her new ideas, claiming you’re more excited than she is. You chalk it up to this being your job so you take it very seriously, but the truth is that you are beyond excited for that day to come, because you’re eager to see a certain face again.

The truth is that, despite your attempt to keep him out of your thoughts and just focus on yourself and the life you have built, Chanyeol has never left your mind. You find yourself wanting to call him, wanting to update him on everything that he missed. He’s the first person you want to rant to whenever you’re having a rough day, yearning for his touch when you fall asleep. You want to hear his laugh and see that special soft smile that fills you with love whenever it graces your presence. You can’t seem to get over him this time, can’t shove his presence back into the depths of your heart that way you have been doing for so long. He tore that door down, making sure that he’ll never be forgotten no matter how desperately you try. It’s enough to have you coming to terms with what you want out of your relationship. 

You just hope when that day comes, that he feels the same way.

You gave in once.

Two months after the wedding, you get a memory from six years ago on your phone. You know it’s probably not the healthiest, but you refuse to get rid of any pictures or videos of the two of you. The memory is a video. You’re walking into a familiar dining room where Chanyeol sits alone, a paper birthday hat on his head. When he notices you, his face brightens, and he falls back in his chair in an invitation. You ask if he had a good birthday as you climb into his lap and he says it was perfect. You turn the camera so that it's now facing the both of you. Chanyeol kisses your temple, your cheekbone, then your cheek, and mumbles, ‘thank you, baby’. He then turns his head so that your cheeks are pressed together as you both look at the screen reflecting your image back at you, ‘I love you,’ you answered simply, as if that was enough. And it was. He holds you closer, nuzzling into you and the video ends. 

It reminds you that it’s Chanyeol’s birthday, but you can’t bring yourself to wish him a happy birthday. Firstly, you don’t have his phone number, and secondly, you’re no contact right now and aren’t technically supposed to speak to each other.

Still, not saying anything eats at you for a couple days and you hatch up a risky plan.

You know the odds are slim, but something in your spirit encourages you to try.

And that’s how you find yourself holding your breath as the other line of your phone rings.

“Oh?” You hear once the call is answered. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Hello, Baekhyun,” you greet in return, rolling your eyes at his sarcasm. 

“Darling.” You can hear the smirk curling his lips and know that he’s teasing you.

“What are you up to?” You ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

“About to get lunch. I’d invite you, but it’s kind of a date.”

“Oh?” You ask, surprised he even answered if he’s entertaining someone.

Before you can question him, you hear exactly what you were hoping for.

“A date? I’ll humor you because I know how desperate you–”

Chanyeol.

He’s there with him, right on the other side of the line.

“Anyways!” Baekhyun interrupts, loudly drowning Chanyeol out. “What are you doing, Sweetie?”

“Darling? Sweetie?” Chanyeol questions. “Sounds like you’re speaking to your actual date. Maybe you should invite them out instead.”

“Nonsense. It’s your birthday lunch. But….” Baekhyun pauses for dramatic effect. “Maybe I should. It might make you jealous though.”

“Jealous of you annoying somebody else? Not very likely.”

“I’m not annoying, am I?” Baekhyun then drops the bomb by saying your name.

That seems to shut Chanyeol up.

“She says I’m not,” Baekhyun tells Chanyeol, despite you never answering his question. “What? Nothing to say now?”

Baekhyun chuckles smugly, but then he’s yelling at you.

“Yah!” He says your name again. “You haven’t asked me anything about my date! Aren’t you curious?”

“I shouldn’t intrude,” you finally speak.

“Please. Let me introduce you.”

“No, really, it’s okay!”

It’s too late. You hear the shuffling of the phone being moved around followed by silence.

Finally, Chanyeol clears his throat and says your name questioningly.

The relief you feel at hearing his voice is so intense it brings tears to your eyes.

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

He gasps at the sound of his name leaving your lips, and when he speaks, it sounds as though he has yet to catch his breath. “Hi.”

“Oh, brother,” Baekhyun says.

“Shut up.” There’s some scuffling, and then Baekhyun yelping in pain.

“Is everything okay over there?” You ask.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “How have you been?”

You’re giddy, like you’re talking to your school crush for the first time. Which, in a way, you are.

“I’ve been….” You contemplate telling the truth before settling on, “adjusting.”

“Same here.”

“Well, since I have you,” you say lightly, pretending this wasn’t the whole reason you called. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” he says vehemently. “I think this may be my favorite gift.”

You can’t fight back the smile threatening to split your lips. “It’s not much.”

“It means more than you know.”

“If that’s the case, then I’m glad. Enjoy your date.”

“My date?” It takes him a moment to realize what you’re alluding to. Once he remembers, he snorts. “oh, that. Between you and me, I don’t think there will be a second one.”

“Aaaaand you’re done,” Baekhyun says.

“No, wait!”

Despite Chanyeol’s height, Baekhyun has no trouble snatching the phone back.

“This is what I get for being nice,” he mutters into the receiver.

“Aw, Baekhyun, I’m sure he appreciates the effort you’re putting in to make sure he has a good time.”

“For that, I’ll let you have a little treat.” He lowers his voice conspiring. “He hasn’t shut up about you since coming back.”

“Bro!” You hear a mortified Chanyeol in the background.

“Looks like we’re at our destination. It was great talking to you.”

“Likewise.” In a grateful tone you add. “Thank you.”

All the humor leaves Baekhyun’s voice as he responds. “Anything for you. I’m glad you called.”

The call ends and life goes on.

December comes and goes, only bringing the cold in its wake. Next thing you know it’s January.

You bring in the new year with a resolution to be more open to new experiences and to take more chances.

“I see you!” You say, excitement evident in your voice.

“You sure?”

“Can’t miss that big ol’ head of yours.”

“Um, have you seen yours? Okay, wait, I see you now.”

You hang up and run over to Sehun, who’s pace doesn’t change as he saunters towards you. Despite how aloof he appears, he drops everything he’s holding to catch you once you jump into his arms, his hold tight.

“You’re here! You’re here!” You cheer, jumping once you’re back on your feet. Sehun can’t help but laugh at your silly antics.

Movement catches your attention and you peek behind Sehun’s broad frame to see a handsome man slightly taller than you with big round warm eyes and thick eyebrows currently furrowed in confusion as he watches Sehun interact with you.

“You must be Do Kyungsoo.”

He locks eyes with you and a slight nervous smile pulls at his full lips as he dips his head in greeting. Unsatisfied, you break away from Sehun and yank the stranger into a hug, missing the way he glances at Sehun in a silent plea for help.

“I told you,” Sehun sighs disapprovingly as you pull away.

“It’s an honor.” You ignore Sehun’s quip. “I hope Sehun already told you that your payment for staying with me is dinner of the gourmet kind.”

“I didn’t think he was serious about that,” he answers, laughing awkwardly as he readjusts the thick frames on the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t joke about food.” 

Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow and blinks owlishly at you.

You decide you like him.

With a dazzling smile, you grab Sehun’s hand. “Let’s go!”

You lead the two men out of the airport, helping them put their luggage in the trunk before peeling out into the city.

“God, it’s been forever since I’ve been in Seoul,” Sehun says as he takes in the frosty scenery flying past.

“What about you, Kyungsoo?” You ask, searching out his gaze through the rearview mirror.

“I went to school here,” he informs.

“That’s how I met him, remember?” Sehun says.

“Oh yeah. I forgot. You were in the culinary program at our college.”

“Graduated early because he’s a genius,” Sehun praises. You don’t miss the way Kyungsoo’s face grows pink, but he remains silently looking out the window.

It’s weird in a way, meeting a close friend of Sehun’s that you yourself aren’t close to. It’s a grim reminder of your growing distance and the passage of time. You know you don’t really have a right to feel the slight tinge of jealousy from hearing Sehun compliment his friend. You have Seulgi, and Sehun has never made a big deal about your friendship. You think it has more to do with the fact that you’re not as close anymore. It leaves your heart slightly aching. 

Sehun and Kyungsoo tell you about the flight as you bring them to your apartment where they will be staying for the weekend. Seulgi and you had to get creative, because you don’t have any spare rooms. It was decided the boys would take the rooms and you would share the sofa bed in the living room.

Seulgi’s home when you arrive, doing some last minute cleaning.

“You look pretty,” you point out when you spot her finishing wiping down a counter in your kitchen. She gives you a guilty lip glossed grin before her attention is given to your guests.

“Sehun!” She embraces her long time friend and then sets her attention to the newcomer. She points at him. “The chef?”

“That’s me,” Kyungsoo says, lifting a hand with a crooked grin that makes his already handsome face even more attractive, if that’s even possible.

Seulgi’s smile is wide as she shakes his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Sehun’s said so much.”

“All good things I hope.” 

“Sehun never says anything good about anyone,” Seulgi  points out.

“It’s a talent,” Sehun brags.

“Seulgi….” Kyungsoo says her name as their hands separate, testing it out as he racks his brain. “I believe Sehun has said something good about you before. That you make phenomenal art?”

She lights up at that. “He has?! Sehun!”

He sighs and throws an arm around your shoulders. Shrugging, he says, “I’m not a complete monster.”

“Should I show you your room?” You ask him. You take in the other two, noticing the way they seem to be watching each other. “Seulgi, why don’t you show Kyungsoo where he’ll be sleeping for the next couple days?”

“Oh, right!” She jumps at the sound of her name. Remembering herself, she leads the way, mouthing an ‘oh my god’ as she passes by. You giggle. Seulgi has been interested in Sehun’s chef friend since the first time she saw a picture of him on Sehun’s instagram. Kyungsoo isn’t aware, but this moment has been years in the making.

Now alone, you turn in Sehun’s grasp, wrapping an arm around his slender waist. “I knew this was going to happen. What are you going to do when they fall in love and he doesn’t want to go back to Busan?”

“Put Seulgi in the luggage. You’ll be moving in with Chanyeol soon anyways.”

“It hasn’t even been an hour yet and you’re already bringing him up?” You pull away and move you guys to your bedroom.

“Come on,” he sings as he plops onto your mattress like he owns the place. He puts his arms behind his head as he rests against the headboard and it hits you that he’s actually here. It takes everything not to start crying and running around the room in excitement. “Tomorrow is D-day, excuse me for being excited for you.”

Jongdae’s baby shower is tomorrow, and of course, Sehun is fully aware of the promise you made with Chanyeol in the gazebo. That day feels like it was both years ago and yesterday.

Sehun nudges your knee with his foot. “Stop playing it cool. I know you're excited too. You got that crazy look in your eyes.”

“What crazy look?” You ask as you sit at the edge of the bed beside his calves.

“Exactly what I said. You look like you’re up to no good.”

You huff a breath. “I’m just nervous.”

“Why?”

“What if he decides he doesn’t want to get back together?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if he does?”

Sehun purses his lips, contemplating. “Then you respect his decision, put on a brave face, and then cry in my arms when the party’s over. Okay?”

You nod dejectedly.

“I take it you’ve decided you want a second chance?”

“Yeah,” you admit. “I forgive him. I….” You look at your best friend. “I love him, Sehun. I really do. I want to be with him.”

Sehun’s expression turns soft and he drags you over his frame, hugging you. “Aigoo, my baby is all grown up.”

You let out a watery laugh and allow yourself to bask in your emotions. You’ve used this time exactly how you were supposed to. You have been able to process your feelings and separate your past self from your present self, and the present you is just as in love with Chanyeol as you were back then.

That is what makes you so nervous. You’ve changed so much. What if you give it another shot, but you don’t fit the same way you once had? What if he can’t bring himself to love this new version of you?

You shove away your doubts. Now isn’t the time to wallow on hypotheticals. Your best friend is here, in your arms, and tomorrow you’re going to bask in another friend’s joy. You’ll worry about that other stuff if they become a reality.

Since you voluntarily took charge of planning this baby shower, you have to head out early to the venue to set up. Sehun decides to join you, leaving the other two to get ready together. The chemistry between them is obvious and you wonder how the weekend is going to go for them.

The baby shower is being held in a party room that has large doors that lead to a botanical garden. Being that it’s mid January, the vegetation is frozen over and unbroken snow covers the ground. It still holds a whimsical charm and anyone that dares to venture out will find beautiful ice sculptures. The inside is a small room, which is perfect for an intimate celebration.

You are the first to arrive, along with some of your crew. Not even the parents-to-be are present, which is exactly how you planned it because you want to surprise them. This is your baby gift. You want to bring the warmer vibes of the gardens, so you have pink, purple, and blue plants and flowers overflowing vases in every corner. Sage green clothes cover the tables. 

Sehun refuses to lift a finger to help, which is annoying but unsurprising. You bring in a large wicker chair and put it at the head of the room. It will serve as Eunhee’s throne. Since she’s so far along, you don’t want her moving too much if she can help it and the chair is very comfortable, if Sehun sitting in it practically the whole time without complaint is any indicator.

“Oh my god!” You hear nearly two hours later. Turning, you see Jongdae and Eunhee enter. The two take everything in, Eunhee with watery eyes. She’s the one who spoke. “It’s beautiful!”

“Absolutely perfect,” Jongdae agrees, shaking his head in awe as he scans the place. You give Eunhee a big hug. She’s someone who came into the picture post college, yet fit right in. There is no one else you’d rather have carry your friend’s child.

“I'm glad you like it,” you say as you lead her to her throne. She notices Sehun and beams, singing his name as he stands to embrace her.

“‘Like’ doesn’t do it justice. You killed it,” Jongdae praises as he hugs you. When you pull away, he finally spots Sehun. “And did you help, Sehun?”

“Of course,” Sehun scoffs. “This was all my idea.”

“The only ‘helping’ Sehun supplied was keeping Eunhee’s chair warm.” You roll your eyes as the boys dap each other up. “Which, by the way, you’re expected to be in most of the day. I don’t want you lifting a finger for nothing!”

“Not even to eat?” She asks, rubbing her swollen belly.

“Nope. That’s what Jongdae’s for.”

Jongdae–and Sehun, finally–help with the last finishing touches as you monitor everything and lead everyone where they need to go. 

It’s around two when people start showing up. Eunhee’s parents are the first to arrive. You’re already exhausted, sitting in a chair with your bare feet propped up on another, gobbling down some baby shower meatballs. Eunhee’s mother finds you and immediately asks what she can do to help, and you’re beyond thankful to give someone else the reins, even though everything is pretty much set up.

Jongdae’s cousin, Kim Minseok, is the next to arrive. He comes in carrying the cake that holds the baby’s gender inside, and is the sole person that already knows. You’ve met the older gentleman a few times before and he gives major big brother vibes. He’s the strong and silent type, never saying much, but when he does it’s either something incredibly profound, or something so extremely out of pocket you have to side eye Jongdae.

When Minseok comes in, he kisses your cheek in greeting and smiles so widely you’re left blushing and stuttering when he asks where you want him to put the cake. 

It’s a moment still until familiar guests start to show up. The party officially starting means you’re now allowed to enjoy it as merely a guest, even though that doesn’t stop you from checking things from time to time to make sure everything’s running smoothly. All the positive words about the venue don’t go amiss and you smile proudly at succeeding in making a beautiful shower for your friends.

Sehun, who left your side the moment Jongdae walked in, remembers you’re there and nudges you. “Let’s take some pictures before the line gets long.”

He leaves little room for you to argue, dragging you over to a balloon arch you both spent way too much time finding the right spot for. There’s a professional photographer there who gets some good shots of the two of you. When Sehun is satisfied with the amount of pictures taken, you leave the arch and your eyes carry over to the wicker chair Eunhee still sits upon. Her head is lifted nearly straight up to meet the eye of the tall man conversing with her. The height is very familiar and your heart skips a beat as you realize that Chanyeol has finally arrived.

Swiftly, you turn to the opposite side of the room, and you’re glad you do because you find Junmyeon and Nayeon awkwardly standing there.

“Myeon!” You gasp and race over to your friend. Sehun sucks his teeth, but follows after you, knowing what you’re doing but just as eager to see Junmyeon.

Junmyeon says your name in the same tone and holds his arms out wide for you to fall into. Unsurprisingly, this is the first time you’re seeing him since the wedding. He holds you tightly and you think that he gives Jongin a run for his money with how comforting he feels.

“What’s all this I hear about you having drama at my wedding?” He asks into your ear.

You wince as you pull back. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was on my best behavior.”

“Ah.” he nods in understanding. “So, it was all Chanyeol then?”

“Isn’t it always?” You ask innocently.

Junmyeon chuckles and shakes his head. “I fear I missed out on a lot that weekend.”

“You had bigger things to worry about,” you assure, patting his shoulder because you can tell that he feels bad for not being there with everyone. Junmyeon is the father figure of the group and takes his role very seriously. Sometimes you forget he’s only a couple years older than you because he treats you more like a daughter than a friend at times. “Like marrying this lovely lady.”

You turn to Nayeon, reaching out to embrace her. Her smile is bright as she falls into your hug. You aren’t sure if it’s seeing her walk down the aisle or the solidification of her role in your life, but the hug feels like a new chapter in your relationship. 

“It’s good to see you,” she says, and it sounds sincere.

Separating, your smile matches hers. “You too. How was the honeymoon?”

Her smile turns shy. “Too short.”

“Oh, I bet! I didn’t get the chance to tell you, but you were absolutely stunning on your wedding day.”

“Thank you.” She grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze.

Junmyeon calls your name, gaining your attention. He takes in your interaction with unabashed pleasure. It has been no secret that you’ve had a hard time cracking his wife’s shell. “Sehun tells me you set this place up?”

“And did.”

“You should do mine next.”

You blink. “Will it be soon?”

Turning to Nayeon, you raise a questioning brow. She’s quick to shake her head. 

“No,” Junmyeon verbally answers. “But you know how the saying goes. First comes love, then comes marriage….”

“Then comes a very expensive baby shower, because I don’t work for free.”

“You told me this was a gift.” You glare at Seulgi, who joins your growing circle with Kyungsoo in tow.

“Yeah, but Jongdae isn’t a millionaire.”

Junmyeon frowns. “I’m not one either.”

“But, you will be. So, I will be overcharging.” You shrug.

“Everyone,” Sehun, who is bent at a weird angle so that he can rest his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Myeon has an arm thrown over Sehun’s neck, holding him close. Sehun is Junmyeon’s overgrown baby and it’s painfully obvious whenever they’re together. Sehun gestures next to him. “This is my good friend and business partner, Do Kyungsoo.”

It’s so strange how easily Kyungsoo seems to fit in with your group. He gives that half grin that you’re starting to find endearing and bows his head slightly in greeting. His cheeks grow pink at the attention Sehun throws onto him.

You lock eyes with Seulgi and ask her a telepathic question.

Her smile is soft. “I’m behaving.”

“Why?” You nudge her shoulder and she returns the gesture.

“So, this is where everyone’s hiding!” You hear Baekhyun’s unmistakable voice and then he’s popping up between Sehun and Kyungsoo.

You turn to give your attention to your loud friend, but end up locking eyes with someone else.

Chanyeol is standing directly across from you in the circle your friend’s have created. For a moment, you’re back in Jeju, at the table seeing him for the first time in years.

You have been anticipating this moment for weeks. You’ve pictured it numerous times, played out different scenarios on how you would respond to him. The skip of your heart, the small gasp that leaves you, the duling of your senses are all expected. What is surprising to you is a relief and longing so strong it nearly carries you across the space separating you both.

And he’s staring back at you with this content look in his eyes. None of the relief or longing currently rushing through your veins are reflected back at you, and your heart sinks as nerves take over.

Chanyeol appears…calm. Friendly. It’s as if Jeju never happened, as if he hadn’t desperately begged you to take him back. 

As if he moved on.

You drop your graze, ears burning in embarrassment for being so excited. You can already taste rejection on your tongue, and mentally curse yourself for believing for one moment that Chanyeol meant it when he said he would always want you.

You can’t resist taking a second peek to take in his form, seeing how he must have spent these last few months in the gym. His arms and shoulders are noticeably bigger, the cozy sweater he wears stretches over the new muscle tantalizingly. He must have dyed his hair black at some point and it washed out to a darker brown closer to his natural shade, instead of the sun bleached brown he was rocking in Jeju.

A shoulder bumps you and you lift your head to see Jongin with a teasing grin on his face. It drops the moment he sees your expression, and he says your name, concerned, drawing the attention of some others.

“I’m sorry. I have to do something,” you say, quickly leaving to collect yourself before anyone can question you. 

You don’t get far before Minseok stops you. He rests his hands on your shoulders, holding you far enough to intently study your face.

“Sir?” You say, wondering what he’s doing.

He tilts his head. “Only tears of joy today.”

You purse your lips. How does he know?

He pats your head. “Eunhee’s mom wants us to prepare the games. Come on.”

You sigh but follow Minseok to set up the games. A few of your friends partake in them. You forgot just how damn competitive Chanyeol is. He wins all four. One requires teams and you’ve never been more embarrassed by your friends in your life.

When the games are done, Eunhee starts opening gifts. You take this time to sit in a little corner alone, taking the party in and giving yourself a moment to congratulate yourself on a successful party. It’s beautiful and everything is moving smoothly. After the presents, the couple will cut the cake to reveal the gender, and then the party will wrap up. You wonder where your talk with Chanyeol will fit in. You don’t want to ruin this day for yourself, so maybe once it’s over will be best? The suspense is killing you though, you’re not really sure if you can last much longer. You’ve caught Chanyeol’s eye a few times since leaving the circle, and each time he’s given you a small smile or nod before going back to whatever he was doing. Nothing long enough to gain any more insight on his state of mind. Maybe he’s nervous? Maybe he’s healed? Maybe he’s dreading having to let you down easy?

Your brief moment of solitude is disturbed when Baekhyun slides into the seat beside you. 

“There you are,” he says, relief evident in his voice. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

You sink into your chair, crossing your arms over your chest. “I haven’t been hiding, Baekhyun.”

He frowns at your tone. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answer too quickly, too sharply. You exhale and start again. “I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“About the party?” he pushes, and you know he knows why, he’s just being careful on how to bring it up. “Or… something else?”

You lift an eyebrow at him. “You know the answer to that.”

Baekhyun scoots closer to you. “You have no reason to be nervous. Chanyeol’s going to meet you where you stand, wherever that is.”

“Are you sure?” You ask. You catch the man of the hour hand Jongdae a present. The father-to-be narrows his eyes suspiciously at him. It’s a very cute interaction and it makes your heart flutter despite everything.

Baekhyun tilts his head in confusion, resembling a puppy. “Yeah? Do you not remember anything that happened in Jeju? it was never Chanyeol’s feelings that were ever in question. Just yours.”

A smug grin stretches his lips. “But you figured yours out, didn’t you? I remember when you just so happened to call me around Chanyeol’s birthday. Y’know that was quite the little coincidence.” His smile grows, showing his perfect teeth. “You wanted to talk to him.”

“Stop.”

He pokes your side. “Admit it! You want to get back with Chanyeol and you’re nervous because you believe there might be a chance he actually rejects you.”

“Ew. It sounds so…cringey when you say it out loud.”

“Is that you admitting that you’re still in love with him?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, okay? I am! I…I still love Chanyeol, and I’m ready to give us another try. Happy?”

He pulls you into a tight hug, swaying you from side to side. “Beyond! I’ve been waiting for this moment for years! I’m so happy for you!”

“We’re not back together yet, Baekhyun.”

“Yet,” he points out, and that for some reason, calms your nerves, and you relax against him.

A deep voice clearing catches your attention, causing you to grow rigid in Baekhyun’s hold. Slowly, you separate from Baekhyun and lift your head to see Chanyeol hovering over you both.

He gives Baekhyun a stern look, and the shorter man snorts before lifting his hands in surrender.

Chanyeol faces you, but he can’t quite meet your eye as he asks, “have you seen the ice sculptures yet?”

This is the moment. Chanyeol is inviting you to have your talk. 

You shake your head. “I actually haven’t. Do… you want to see them?”

“Only if you want to.”

You nod enthusiastically and hear Baekhyun giggle but ignore it. “Okay. Yeah. Just, uh, let me get my coat.”

You don’t know if it’s guidance or reassurance you seek that has you turning to Baekhyun nervously. He supplies both by tilting his head in Chanyeol’s direction encouragingly. Stiffly, you get to your feet  and lead the way to the coat stand. Chanyeol takes your coat from you, holding it out to help you put your sleeves in.

“Thank you,” you whisper as he shrugs on his own.

He gives you a derpy grin. “My pleasure.”

All bundled up, you head out to the gardens. Only a few footprints stamp out the snow, showing how little people have dared to step outside. You don’t blame the others, it’s freezing. Your face goes numb almost instantly, but it’s still a sight to see. All the bushes have frozen over, and arches that appear as ice  line the trail. The setting sun and multicolored fairy lights scattered around add a sense of whimsy, making it feel like you’ve stepped into a parallel universe where fairies live.

“Boy or girl?” Chanyeol randomly asks as you both casually walk the path.

“Huh?”

“The baby,” he clarifies. “Do you think it’s going to be a boy or a girl?”

“A girl,” you decide. “Jongdae is such a girl dad.”

“You’re right. He totally is.”

“Good job back there,” you say, nudging your thumb over your shoulder where the party continues without you. “I’m sure all of Eunhee’s family are terrified of you.”

He chuckles at that and it’s music to your ears. “I do tend to get carried away.”

“I’ve never seen someone so serious about changing a diaper.”

“And I did it in ten seconds! That’s pretty impressive, you gotta admit.”

You give a noncommittal hum. “Fatherhood will be easy for you then.”

“You think?” He asks, eyes absolutely sparkling at the idea. 

“I do.”

“Oh, well… I think you’d make an amazing mother.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised. You’ve never really given motherhood much thought. It’s something so out of reach that you never entertain it. You did once, back when you wore your engagement ring. Chanyeol and you had discussed parenthood a few times. At the time, you’d both agreed you were way too young to think about starting a family, but now you’re in your late twenties, so you guess it’s something you should consider more.

“You’re a caretaker,” he continues. “Take today for example, I bet you were just supposed to decorate, right?”

“Yeah,” you admit quietly.

“Yet you ended up putting the whole thing together. You take care of the people you care about. You always have.”

“I never thought of it like that,” you admit.

He shrugs. “I’m just stating a fact.”

You come across your first sculpture. It’s an impressive six-foot ice dragon. You both stop to take it in.

“It’s impressive,” you remark.

Chanyeol nods. “I bet it took hours to sculpt.”

“Kinda sad it’s going to melt. Feels almost like a waste.”

“That’s the tragedy of art, but there’s beauty even in that.”

You’re quiet for a bit.

“I started going to a new cafe,” is what comes out of his mouth next. His attention never leaves the dragon, not even when your head snaps over to him in shock.

You know what he’s trying to say, that he no longer sees Yerim. His admission knocks the wind out of you, but you’re able to collect  yourself. “I’m sure the old one misses you.”

“Nah,” he’s quick to dismiss. “Though I hear I leave quite the impression.”

You click your tongue at that, which garners a small laugh from him, seeing humor in your reaction. Needing to change the subject, you give him a once over, taking in his reddening cheeks, the paleness of his skin contrasting beautifully with the darkness of his eyes. He’d thrown on a beanie to keep his ears warm, and despite them being covered, he still resembles a freakishly giant elf. Speaking of giant, his new mass overwhelms you. You can definitely notice the difference in his size compared to a few months ago.

“You’ve been working out,” you say.

He glances down at you, looking rather pleased. “You noticed?”

“How could I not? You’re towering over me.”

The tip of his tongue catches between his teeth. He likes that phrase, and you’re reminded that he has a size kink. You’re not that much shorter than him (this may be denial speaking) but being even an inch smaller is enough to get him going.

“It’s a newly acquired hobby I picked up after returning from Jeju,” he explains.

“I see….” And you do. It was something to fill the time, something to distract himself from the fact that you were once again not in his life, and wouldn’t be for a while.

The two of you leave the dragon and continue to the next sculpture. Chanyeol senses your understanding and presses, “so, have you gotten any ‘hobbies’ since I last saw you?”

You lift your arms out like a shrug and gesture around you. “This.”

He takes in the winter wonderland. “Then you spent it wisely.”

“It kept me busy for sure, but I’ll admit it wasn’t enough to distract me completely.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding. “It’s been difficult… going back to how things were before.”

A sharp laugh leaves your throat before you can stop it. His words feel like an understatement.

The next sculpture is an eight foot replica of the Eiffel Tower.

“I was foolish enough to believe that I could continue living the way I had been before the trip,” you admit, taking in all the little details of the ice. “But I outgrew that life the moment I landed on that stupid island.”

You can feel Chanyeol studying you, as if you are the one carved from ice. You wonder if he sees the tragedy of your design, that you’ve been melting, and if he still finds it as beautiful.

“Jeju changed us,” Chanyeol agrees. “How has it changed you?”

You meet his gaze, yours steady and unwavering. “It made me realize where I wanted you in my life.”

Chanyeol takes you in, gulps, and turns abruptly. You gape at his retreating back for a moment before jogging after him. His long legs close the distance to the next sculpture in record time. There are only two left and this one is of a beautiful woman, looking down at her plump belly that she cradles lovingly. You swear you can see Eunhee’s features etched into the clear face.

Chanyeol’s squinting up at the face, most likely noticing the same thing  and contemplating whether it is your friend or not.

“You ran,” you accuse once you’re standing beside him, out of breath.

His features smooth over, becoming expressionless. “You scared me.”

“That’s funny,.” He turns to you questioningly. “That’s how I felt when I saw you earlier.”

His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

“You looked at me like….” You lick your drying lips. “Like you had moved on.”

“That’s what you saw?” he asks skeptically.

You give your attention back to the Eunhee sculpture. “Did I misread you?”

“Immensely,” he says, voice flat and intense. When you work up the courage to look at him again, you see a fire has built inside him that the cold tried to snuff out, but it burns through, warming you in turn.

“Oh,” is really all you can say under his scrutinizing glare.

“I’m sorry for scaring you earlier,” he says, still intense. “And for running. What were you going to say? Where do you want me now?”

“I….” You take a deep centering breath and tell him the truth. “I want you right where you are now. Beside me.”

A shocked laugh leaves him in a puff of condensation that bellows around you, stinging your cheeks. It feels like a caress, like contact, and it  makes you confident enough to proceed with your confession. “I've missed you so much, Chanyeol. Not just since coming back from jeju, but since calling off the wedding all those years ago. I’ve carried that suffering with me everyday, pretending I was fine, that I had moved on. But, after returning from the island, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t avoid it anymore. It was too heavy a weight. All I’ve wanted since is to see your face, to hear your voice, to…to be with you. Not the college boy that I fell in love with, but the man that you’ve become. I want to rediscover you, I want to learn your new habits and meet your new friends. I want to be a part of your life again…. I want to be with you, Park Chanyeol.”

You can feel your throat constricting, and tears start to blur the vision of the man you love taking in every word you say as if they are bible. You inhale sharply, it sounds more like a gasp, as you try to control your emotions. Clearing your throat, you voice your doubt. “That being said, if you’ve decided that you don’t feel the same way, and just want your closure to finally move on, I respect that. This isn’t only about what I want. You have a say in this relationship too. So… where do you want me?”

The wobble in your voice seems to echo off the ice surrounding you in the silence that follows as Chanyeol hesitates to answer. At least it feels like hesitation. Is he debating how to let you down gently? Or is he still trying to process your revelation?

Finally, after what feels like hours, he says, “there’s one more sculpture.”

You follow Chanyeol wordlessly, your heart plummeting from his lack of response. The last sculpture is ironic in a way, depending on how this conversation goes. It’s two swans, their heads pressed together and their necks curving into the shape of a heart. 

Chanyeol is grinning as he takes it in. “I think this one might be my favorite.”

“It does have a certain charm to it,” you say sullenly. 

Chanyeol’s smile stretches, but he doesn’t say anything. You both quietly take in the birds, you wait patiently for Chanyeol to answer your question. 

“The gym isn’t the only thing that has been keeping me busy these past months,” Chanyeol shares. “When I came back, I found new inspiration, and have been writing music nonstop.” He chuckles. “My company has been very happy about that.”

“That’s good to hear.” you say, and you mean it. You know how much music means to the man before you, he bleeds chords and rhythms. Being able to make money doing what he loves is an honor not many people get to have. You’re so very proud of him for being able to have others hear his talent.

“Yeah. I took your advice. I truly thought about what you mean to me. I wrote those feelings down in songs and worked through the pain, the confusion, the hurt, and the hope. When I showed my music to my company, they asked me what had changed, and I told them the truth.” He shifts to face you head on and reaches out to grab your hand. “That I found my muse.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat as he continues. “I guess it’s more like rediscovered my muse, because it’s the same one as always. All of my music is about you. Only you. You ask where I want you in my life? The answer is simple. I want you everywhere. You’ve always been everywhere. You’re the melody of my life.”

You blink back the new flood of tears bombarding your eyes, overwhelmed by his words. 

He is watching you tenderly, and you swear you see his eyes as shiny as yours. The hand not holding yours cups the side of your face and you shiver from the icy bite, but it thaws so quickly you end up leaning into it. “I want to be with you too. It will always be you, Mel.”

The tears finally fall, and Chanyeol is there to catch them, to catch you. You both let out airy laughs, relief and joy bubbling in your throats as the situation dawns on you. 

“We’re really going to do this?” You ask, in shock. “You and me? We’re going to try again?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol confirms, resolute. “And we’re going to get it right this time. I’m not letting you go again. I don’t care what excuse you try next time.”

You shake your head. “You won’t have to worry about a next time.”

You pull back slightly and take out your phone, handing it to him. “Can I have your number?”

He grabs the device from you. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

You scowl. “Absolutely not! You’ll have to do the asking, sorry.”

“I think I can manage that,” he says as he types away. He gives the phone back, fingers brushing yours when you retrieve it. 

You stare at one another, only one thing in both of your minds. What did Chanyeol say last time? Seal it with a kiss? Well, that’s what you want to do now, you want to kiss him so bad your body shakes in yearning. Chanyeol gathers as much, his head slowly lowering to grant your wish, and you wonder briefly if you’re making that face again. His nose brushes against yours and you tilt your head back to lift your lips higher for him to reach.

Cheering shatters the moment, bringing you both back to the frozen yard of your friends’ baby shower.

You gasp. “The cake!”

You both rush back inside, making it in just in time to see Jongdae and Eunhee at the table, frosting and tears on their faces as they celebrate. You see a piece has been cut out of the cake, revealing the color inside.

It’s pink. 

“You’ve been staring at your phone all day,” Sehun points out. 

You immediately drop the block of technology. Groaning, your head falls into your hands. It’s been nearly forty-eight hours since Jongdae’s baby shower ended, and you have yet to message Chanyeol. You’re overthinking, naturally. Even though Chanyeol made it obvious that he wanted to try again, there is that inkling of doubt that keeps you from initiating conversation. You regret asking for his number. You should have given him yours, put the pressure on him instead. He had the chance to text himself, but you were dismayed when you realized he hadn’t. He was again, putting the ball in your court, going at your speed. Now why would he do that when he knew you? You assume this is a test, and you’re failing miserably. 

“Stop torturing yourself and text him already.”

You shift some fingers enough to glare at your best friend that sits  across from you on your pale wooden table. He blinks at you, the poster child of unbothered.

Sighing, you straighten in your seat. “I’m spending time with you right now. Everything else can come later.”

“Uh-huh. Lucky for you, I’m used to you using me as an excuse.”

You gasp dramatically. “I’ve done no such thing!”

He grins and reaches over to hold your hand. Sehun and Kyungsoo are leaving in a couple hours. You’re waiting for the other pair. Seulgi’s helping Kyungsoo get his stuff together, but they disappeared a while ago.

“I told you it was going to work out,” Sehun murmurs.

You smile sweetly. “I’m not going to say you were right, just so you know.”

He pouts at that. “Either way, I know you believe it. Look, you’re back with Chanyeol. Isn’t that crazy?”

“So crazy.” You shake your head. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“Then don’t sabotage yourself again,” he says in that casual way he does. “Text him. Call him. Either way, talk to him. Let him know how much you want this. You have to if you want it to work this time. Communication and all that.”

You swallow thickly, fear coating your throat. “Right. Communication.”

Sehun stands and walks around the table to drag you to your feet. He pulls you into a hug, kissing the crown of your head. “You got this. Next time I see you, you’re going to be hand-in-hand with Chanyeol.”

You return his hug tightly, missing him already. 

“Now,” he starts. “let's check on those two. We have to leave soon.”

He drags you to Seulgi’s door, opening it without knocking and you deeply regret it when you notice the pair in various states of undress, hungrily making out.

“Oh!” You’re not sure who said it. Maybe you, maybe Seulgi. But the new couple scramble to make it look like they weren’t just eating each other’s faces.

Sehun guffaws and you cover your fallen jaw.

“Kyungsoo!” Sehun calls between chortles. “I didn’t know you had it in you, man!”

“Fuck off,” Kyungsoo bites, face the color of a tomato as he looks anywhere but where a human stands.

“We have to leave in ten,” you say slowly, fighting a smile as you watch Seulgi attempt to pack, back facing you.

“We’ll be out there,” Kyungsoo confirms.

“Will you?” Sehun goads. “Or are you just going to finish what you started the minute we walk away?”

“Ten minutes, got it!” Seulgi shoves you both out of her room, slamming the door in your face. 

Sehun and you lock eyes and then burst out laughing.

“I told you!” You said when you catch your breath.

“Now you really have to text Chanyeol,” he says. “You’ll need a new roommate soon.”

An hour later, you’re alone in your room, once again staring at your phone. At the contact that merely says ‘Park Chanyeol’.

You remember the last moment you had with him. When the baby shower was settling and people were starting to leave. All of you were huddled together and Jongdae and Eunhee made you all take some photos, claiming how this was the first time in years that everyone actually was present like this. 

You remember how you all huddled together, how Kyungsoo tried to slink away, but Sehun grabbed his collar, holding him hostage next to Jongin who started chatting his ear off as though he’s known him for years. Minseok was also there, having what appeared to be a very serious conversation with Baekhyun.

You felt a body press against your back, and glanced behind you  to see Chanyeol shyly looking down at you.

“Is this okay?” he asked, voice gentle, fragile.

You nodded, voice caught in your throat. The photographer set her camera up, and someone in the back of the group stumbled, causing a bunch of you to lurch forward. Chanyeol steadied you with a hand on your hip, and kept it there once you were stable again. You made no move to remove it, and your silent approval had him relaxing against you. You held your breath, heart racing as you posed for the photos. The happiness you felt in the moment you were sure was perfectly captured. 

Of course, the others noticed, but surprisingly didn’t mention anything. Only giving you both approving or knowing looks.

You swear you can still feel his body against yours, his large hand holding you close. He wants this, you remind yourself. He never stopped loving you, so stop being a little bitch and text him! Go get your man!!!

Encouraged, you don’t think and send a message. it’s a simple ‘hey, it’s me’, but you might as well have thrown your heart at him.

You stare at the bright screen. Watch as those cursed bubbles start bouncing as Chanyeol types a response to your message. Then go away. Then come back. Then disappear. Then–

Chanyeol: Took you long enough, Mel

series m.list | main m.list

previous chapter | next chapter

taglist @blue-rainydays, @julciaqwerty, @ohsehunsgurl, @byunparklimchoi, @kawaii--mommy, @notyuji, @hisungovenaocare, @theawesomehero7714, @emikowrites, @carefully325 @livebylivsstuff

[zivaninja]

Blue Bloods finale things/spoilers under the cut that I wanted to yell about:

• Jamko parents!!! Parents!! Oh how far they've come 😭

• I'm going to miss Eddie Janko so damn much, that's my girl.

•Jack and Erin getting married!! They finally got their happy ending. And the looks on their faces at dinner as they decided to keep it to themselves was just so 💜😭

• Danny's face when Henry tells him to find his person to come home to. He already knows.

• Danny Reagan! Asking Maria Baez! On a date! And her saying yes! He doesn't need to go look for his person because she's right there besides him. And the look on her face when she agreed!!

[userirvingb]

here is what's frustrating about Irving/burving in s2:

innie Irving had a very satisfying and well written arc in s1, it was narratively cohesive because we knew who he was, what he valued, the kind of person he is-- and then he falls in love with Burt and his entire worldview is upended, and he starts to deconstruct from Kier because all the teachings he's ever known goes directly against his feelings for Burt. and despite the sudden crisis of faith, he decided to follow his heart and comes to the conclusion that his love couldn't be so wrong if even Kier was able to meet his wife as colleagues. but then Burt is taken away from him as punishment by Lumon and Irving rightfully loses his shit and rebels. everything he's done and everything about his character arc made sense and was clearly written very delicately and with care

s2 Irving continued the journey his s1 self had, him sacrificing himself in 2x04 is fully in line with what innie Irv would do. so innie Irv's entire arc was complete with his "death". but his story is far from over-- we then finally get introduced to outie Irving. he's mysterious, of course he is, a former naval officer with a therapy dog and no one else in his life spending all his time doing corporate espionage. but as each episode progresses, we're barely getting any screen time with Irving, and even during the limited time we do have with him, we still don't know anything about him. when he confronts Burt in 2x05, that does showcase a bit of his personality that his outie self is a lot more direct and confrontational with people, but that doesn't tell us much. he agrees to go to Burt's for dinner and we learn about Burt's backstory (which IS very well written) but neither Burt nor Fields asks about him. it makes sense at the time seeing how Burt used the dinner as a way to get Irving out of his apartment so Drummond could snoop around. but you'd think that they'd finally elaborate on what they found in this week's episode, to give us insight into what Irving is up to. nope. still nothing.

in fact, it seemed like there was a missing scene between the dinner and Burt showing up in Irv's apartment, which could've been used to fill us in on their relationship progression or reveal just a tiny bit more about Irving-- but once again we got nothing. as Burt is driving Irving to the train station, we still don't learn anything new about him, it's Burt talking about his involvement with Lumon instead. at the train station Irving does reveal a bit more about himself, but it's an intimate confession, a plea, he's desperate to have something he's never gotten to have before. the entire scene is showing us that Burt and Irving are experiencing intense memory bleeds from their innie to their outie, and while Irving is receptive of it, Burt is fighting those emotions. Irving doesn't care about how dangerous it is, he wants to be with Burt because he KNOWS he loves him, but ultimately he leaves. and that's it. Irving is effectively written out of the show in s2, a season where the rest of MDR have gotten huge character or relationship arcs, while we still don't know anything about Irving. when you compare the treatment of the het characters to Irv, the difference in the treatment is glaring af

we can argue that the reason Irving is kept in the dark from us is due to his backstory being intrinsically tied to the Lumon plot, so only we get to the point of the show where they're ready to take down Lumon for real, will Irving's story be relevant. however, Cobel is crucial to the Lumon plot too, and she got an entire episode dedicated to her. this isn't to discredit her character or claim that a male character should deserve her screen time, that's absolutely not what i'm saying, but if Cobel's backstory is allowed to be revealed to show how much of an ally/asset she'd be to MDR, why is Irving, who IS part of MDR, not granted a reveal as well? what exactly is it about him that is even more significant than Cobel being the creator of severance that what he brings to the table is such a massive trump card that we can't know about it?

right now how Irving is written reeks of writers playing around carelessly with a token gay and shrouding him in mystery for far too long that the appeal has gone stale. with the development of other characters, Irving's importance to the plot dwindles bit by bit until he's not much of a character outside of his love for Burt. but if that's all he is, if that's all the writers can think to do with outie Irving is for him to be with Burt, then damn, let him be with Burt, have them run away together then? if today's episode ended with Burt getting on the train and sitting down next to Irving to leave with him, that would've been a much more satisfactory ending and i would've gladly accepted it. the show can still write them back into s3 should they want to, but at least Irving's arc in regards to finding love, since that's all he's been boiled down to, is complete. they couldn't even... do something as simple as that...

it's already bad enough that they undermined the gay man's rebellion against a homophobic corporation, and you can't even give him the one thing he wants, with the person who also wants that with him? innie Dylan can quit willy nilly now with no resistance; Mark can run around outside for two whole days with Devon, and Lumon is only just asking questions but not tracking him down, but it's unrealistic for Burt to leave with Irving???

it has never been about just wanting a kiss. it's about the double standards that are present in s2. the gays are living in a dangerous world, where every single thing they do results in dire consequences while the het characters can do whatever whenever. this meta already covers the issue re: the lack of a kiss better than i ever could, but please understand that it's not just about feeling like we're entitled to more burving. their relationship was set up on the same grounds and level of importance as the others, even as far as being recognized as the main flagship romance in s1, and right now that balance has shifted heavily and their relationship is not being treated with the respect it deserves, so why aren't we allowed to be upset about it?

[baphometsss]

On Solas' Mythal regret

Alright so this is just one thing I wanted to get out there. I'm not gonna do one big meta post bc I wanna break down specific things more easily. I hope it's not too jumbled

Spoilers

The Solas / Mythal regret takes place in the Fade.

“What if you left the Evanuris, and remained with me? Surely you must want freedom from this struggle?”

Solas says it not just for Mythal’s sake but for his own; he is essentially begging for her to return to the Fade with him so they can be as spirits again... He doesn’t want to be a person, he never did, and now he can’t return to that life. He was happy in the Fade until she drew him out. Mythal says ‘love’ because she knows that he doesn’t want to be there and she needs to keep him loyal in order to keep the Evanuris at bay. We know that Mythal is manipulative af and this is just more evidence of that.

It’s a regret not just because he couldn’t get Mythal to leave the Evanuris but because it’s the moment he gave up on himself. He knew he couldn’t leave Mythal to do it alone, because he did care for her, but also he was likely bound to her after she pulled him from the Fade. We know that pulling spirits from the Fade makes them lose a part of themselves; in this case, Mythal did this to him deliberately so he would fight in the war.

It was a trauma bond, similar to the bond between Cole, the spirit of compassion, and the real Cole who starved to death in a prison cell. Solas needed to provide Wisdom to prove his purpose, and Mythal kept calling on that. In Veilguard, it’s explicitly stated that as a former spirit, he cannot resist appeals to his true nature. With trauma bonds, you do lose your agency. It’s what they hinge on. The two things combined make for a toxic dynamic.

(I don’t particularly like this personally, but it's what seems to be the intent, but I digress.)

The hidden codex in the Lighthouse’s music room—memories of a duet—is significant in understanding their relationship. To me this is very revealing of their dynamic; Mythal took advantage of Solas when he wasn’t used to having a body and moulded him to be a weapon. She moulded him into the image she wanted him to take, and strung him along the entire time. There’s a big parallel between Divine Justinia/Leliana and Mythal/Solas. Leliana’s personal quest in DAI is about her loyalty to Divine Justinia, whom she sees as a mother and great friend. You can ask her if they were romantically involved, and she says that they were many things to each other, but not that. She too carries a huge amount of guilt for her death, to the point that it can break her if you don’t soften her early on in the game, and she becomes utterly ruthless. The end scene with Mythal releasing Solas from her service has many similarities to Justinia releasing Leliana from hers. Leliana and Justinia were united in part because of their shared spirituality and hopes for the Chantry, and Solas and Mythal were united by the connection they forged as spirits. ‘Being wholly seen…’ Leliana felt the same way about Justinia.

Solas also wore Mythal’s vallaslin, and burned it off his face when he rebelled against the Evanuris. As we know, those are slave markings. He was made to become her servant, and rebelled against her too when he started the rebellion against the Evanuris. (As a side note, and especially if you’ve played BG3, you’ll know how the loss of agency can stick around even after the connection to the abuser has been severed. Astarion’s ‘you made me see that I never stopped thinking of myself as his slave’ really springs to mind here, albeit in a different context.)

This is a big part of why I don’t think he was romantically involved with Mythal. I believe his main role to Mythal in the initial war was as a kind of spymaster, similar to how Leliana is the spymaster for Divine Justinia. Mythal taught Solas to behave in exactly the way she wanted him to.

In fact, in the Inquisitor’s customisation screen when you pick your romance, Solas’s explicitly says that even he didn’t foresee what it would mean to fall in love. So… he canonically hasn’t been in love before. He was not in love with Mythal.

I wanna be clear here; I don’t hate Mythal as such. I mean, I do, because she’s pretty fucked up, but you have to consider her nature. She was a spirit of benevolence. She wanted to take a form because she was afraid of what Elgar’nan would do to the world if she didn’t stop him. Even after taking a body, she can’t change her nature. It became twisted into retribution when she couldn’t stop them from harming the elves or trying to leash the blight. Honestly I could write a whole essay about Mythal too, but I won’t because I still have a ton to write about Solas and Lavellan, but we’ll see.

Anyway I’m gonna leave this one here but I’ll be back with more meta. I have a lot of get through

[lilypadeater]

I really love your work!! I was wondering if you would be able to do another age gap Rick Grimes imagine. Reader has a huge crush on Rick that’s obvious but her insecurities won’t let her notice that he’s interested in her too. It can be smut or doesn’t have to be. If you don’t have time, no worries!! Thank you 😊

Angel

Rick Grimes x Fem!Reader

Summary- (request)

Content Information: 18+, MDNI. I MEAN IT, age gap (20s and 40s), swearing, insecurities, kissing, pet names, flirting, NOT PROOF READ

The days went by a lot slower after you had made the official decision to 'stop' crushing on Rick. He was almost double your age, and you knew he would've never seen you as anything more than "Hershel's daughter." But ignoring your feelings wasn't nearly as simple as you had planned. Shoving them into the back of your mind wasn't even close to what actually happened whenever you saw Rick. Seeing his dark curls pushed back and sharp jawline made it impossible to look away. His presence made you into a clumsy mess, always knocking something over from the anxiety.

You stared at the mirror for a while, analyzing every detail about yourself, taking notice of anything you thought Rick would like or dislike. "I'm not his type," you muttered, leaning over the white vanity with a look of contempt. Your brain sought any reason to avoid confronting the butterflies that went into a frenzy in your stomach. They only occurred when you were near the group leader, something about the way he carried himself and his southern drawl… It truly drove you mad.

Today, Rick organized some kind of “shooting” practice. He deemed you to be incapable of protecting yourself since you’ve never held a gun, a bit offensive to you, but it was the truth. Hershel kept you sheltered from weapons and violence, but the apocalypse destroyed his shield. The whole morning was spent with a nauseating anxiety and gut-wrenching anticipation for the afternoon. The man you did everything to avoid seeing was going to be spending one-on-one time with you. You told yourself it was just jitters from shooting a gun for the first time, but deep down you didn’t give a damn about shooting a gun.

You promised yourself that your interest in Rick wouldn’t interfere with the lesson, but the only thought crossing your mind while you held the gun was how Rick’s hands were on it moments before. You could still feel the warmth from his skin lingering on the gunmetal. His voice snapped you out of your trance.

“Angel, you listenin’ to what I’m saying? You have to hold it with both hands,” he instructed. His words flew right over your head as your brain zoned in on the fact that he had just called you Angel. Angels were beautiful and pure, a title of utmost adoration. He’d never given your sisters' names like that before, so why did he call you Angel? Your heart dropped at realizing it was most likely because he had forgotten your name. You weren’t of much significance, so there wasn’t any reason for him to have even remembered it.

You were once again snatched out of your compelling thoughts when a calloused hand reached out and grabbed yours, pulling it up and towards the gun. “You’re in another world, sweetheart,” he murmured, a little amused.

Embarrassment flooded your face as you sheepishly apologized, “I'm sorry, I was distracted.” You tried quickly recomposing yourself, but your head spun with sinful whispers. The man you deemed unreachable was now inches away from you, wrapping his hand around yours and guiding your fingers to the right position.

"You wanna make sure it's eye level, otherwise you won't get a good aim. Am I clear?" Rick asked, his icy blue eyes scanning your face for a response.

"Yeah," you plainly replied, a weak attempt at concealing your nerves. You brought the gun to eye level and held it out with both hands, clutching it firmly.

"Just like that, Angel, you got it, almost there." His words of encouragement only encouraged the lustful thoughts you had of him. Your mind wandered, letting you grip loosen around the handle, but you were immediately brought back into reality when you heard him sigh. "You seem distracted today, Angel. Maybe we should just try again another day."

You could feel shame rising inside you. First time you were alone with him, and you already disappointed him. "Wait, please. I'm sorry, I got scared." If there was one thing you were good at, it was lying. Your sweet, innocent act manipulated anyone into believing the nonsense you spat was nothing but the truth.

However, Rick could see right through you. You had almost forgotten he was a sheriff before the outbreak, and he was trained in detecting lies like that one you just told. Especially because the emotions you held in your eyes were nowhere near fearful.

Rick analyzed you before grabbing the gun and holstering it. "Lying ain't a good look on you," he muttered as he walked back to the tents on your lawn that they considered to be their 'camp.'

Later that evening, you decided to address your behavior. You partially felt guilty for letting your rampant thoughts control you, essentially wasting his time and your own. You didn't learn shit, only thing you gained from that experience was new angles to look at him from. Coming clean about your 'little' crush on him was necessary if you were going to actually learn how to fire a gun. You needed someone else to teach you.

You found him after dinner, checking some inventory in his camp. "Rick?" You called out, unsure if you were making a mistake or the right choice.

He turned to you, his tall frame domineering over yours. "Yes, y/n?" He responded casually. Perhaps he did know your name.

"I just wanted to come clean about today. I think I would be better off learning with someone else," you courageously admitted.

"Why's that? I'm probably the best damn shooter in this place," He half-heartedly replied, trying to lighten things. He leaned in closer to you, as if the reason would be found by getting closer.

You decided to bite the bullet and tell him honestly, "I just can't focus. I just feel some type of way around you, and I'm damn near sure someone's gonna lose a finger if I fire a gun next to you."

His laughter filled your ears as he wrapped a hand on your shoulder. "Really? How do you feel about me?" He asked smugly, clearly enjoying your honesty.

You had come this far, so you pushed past your insecurities and decided to make a bold move. "How about I show you?" You responded, barely above a whisper.

For once, Rick was the surprised one. You could see his eyes slightly darken and narrow at you, like a predator hunting its prey. The world felt slower, and the atmosphere was thick. "Angel, I don't think you just meant what you said." He murmured, bringing his hand to your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

"I know what I fucking said, Rick." You responded, getting bothered by the tension. As if on cue, his lips crashed onto yours in a passionate and heated kiss. You couldn't believe he would just do this where anyone could see.

The moment was quickly interrupted by voices walking towards the camp. It seemed as though everyone had finished cleaning up and decided to head back to their tents. You and Rick immediately broke the kiss, but you could feel his body's response pressed up against you.

Before leaving his embrace, you quickly told him, "Meet me in the stables around 10 tonight." His smirk was unforgettable.

..............................................................................................................................A/N: Guys, this request was made MONTHS ago, but I got kinda tired of writing and never got around to finishing it. So anyways here you guys go, ik it's not my best work but I tried lmao. yeah I kinda lost the plot ngl

[moonpie2405]

The Deal With Lindel's Reindeer

One of the reindeer here is obviously different - it is huge and pure white, obviously, and more importantly it doesn't seem to pull Lindel's sleigh at all, leading the way and coating the path in ice instead. In fact, it would have been simpler to have that reindeer pull the sleigh and cover the ground in ice at the same time, but Lindel doesn't do that.

Later on, he even asks the reindeer to 'say hello' to Chise, which it seems to understand.

All in all, Lindel doesn't treat this specific reindeer as a normal animal (which it isn't, obviously. Reindeer don't normally use ice magic.)

Also, reindeer, especially white reindeer are very spiritually significant to the Sámi.

My theory is that the reindeer is a gazzi

Here, Lindel specifically introduces himself as a shaman. In Sámi culture, shamans are called Noaidi.

All Noaidi had helping spirits or “gáccit/gazzi/gadze”, which varied depending on the realm in which the Noaidi was traveling. Gáccit usually manifested to the Sámi Noaidi in the form of an animal. Biret Maret Kallio, a spiritually guided Sámi woman, describes her experience with prominent Sámi views on gáccit: “Written tradition talks of three kinds of gazzi: One, usually a bird, accompanies the noaidi on journeys to the upper world; the second, usually a four-legged wild animal, accompanies the noaidi on journeys in this world, also called the middle world; the third, a fish, a snake, a lizard, or some other animal that can live underwater or underground, accompanies the noaidi in the lower world” (Kallio 1997).

It also seems like the gazzi is a companion to the person from birth to death, which also checks out since Lindel is shown to be accompanied by a white reindeer even as a child (though of course there is literally no confirmation that it is the same reindeer. The horns do look a bit different.)

Another source also said that the strongest shamans have reindeer bulls as their gazzi, which is very cool. (Though again, of course we don't know if it is a bull.)

I think it isn't unreasonable to think of it as a spirit companion to Lindel, which also adds a layer of complexity to Lindel being unable to leave his reindeer behind even after turning his back on everything else.

[the-impulse-to-love]

show me how to dance forever, arcadia, and greek mythology

this was initially gonna be a longer post with other things but i need to get These Specific Brainworms out of my head rn so. yeah

quick disclaimer i'm not a huge expert on greek mythology/culture so if anyone has any other comments feel free 2 discuss...

contains very vague teeth of god spoilers around the discussion of deities in relation to arcadia (pan, ceryneian hind)

(apologies if the formatting is weird still getting used to tumblr)

> arcadia

the shepherd’s monument from the hidden coords on the sight has references to arcadia, a region of greece. now, this can mean the real life history of the area, or the history with more mythological connotations.

arcadia also refers to a utopia in which the wilderness is undisturbed. it’s idyllic and peaceful. this is a common interpretation/subject for the area and its themes during the renaissance, which one such notable artwork being “et in arcadia ego," replicated on the mentioned monument (hence the connection) (this also warrants another post i'd say).

it’s also notable how arcadia, in terms of a utopia, is described as being unattainable (as per wikipedia anyways, there wasn’t quite an exact source for this. other sites just echoed the same sentiment.) this is a contrast from the biblical garden of eden, which instead was a paradise lost due to the original sin. (i don’t think i need to explain eden’s relevance to sleep token since. you know the entire third album and song)

in addition, the region of arcadia had religious significance.

1. it was the basis for worship for certain deities (in actuality)

⠀a. some temples around the region were dedicated to hermes, the messenger god and guide for the dead (psychopomp)

⠀⠀-- hermes has several wing motifs. he is often depicted with a winged hat, talaria (winged sandals), and a caduceus (his staff)

⠀⠀-> this can possibly tie into 🪶 feathered host, one of the two alleged factions from the emails which states “the cycle must be broken”

⠀⠀-- hermes' role as a psychopomp can also be connected to "show me how to dance forever." as i mentioned in this post there's likely a link between the teeth of god tour speeches in death "asking you to dance with [fear and hope], after all" and smhtdf. hermes guiding the dead and death asking to dance forever? yeah

⠀b. arcadia was a region of worship for despoina, a goddess whose name was lost due to being worshipped by the eleusinian mysteries (only those in the group knew her name, so it was lost)

⠀⠀-- the eleusinian mysteries were initiations done by a secretive religious group in who worshiped persephone and demeter in ancient greece

⠀⠀-> the loss of despoina's true name could tie into the fact that sleep's name canonically cannot be properly translated into modern language

⠀c. arcadians worshiped demeter, goddess of agriculture and the harvest

⠀⠀-> (bit more of a stretch i would say,) but she can be associated with gardens due to her role as a goddess of agriculture. gardens on themselves, of course, are a common theme in sleep token songs in addition to the garden of eden. they vary in symbolism/meaning from love to paradise.

⠀d. anytos was a titan who allegedly raised despoina and was worshiped in the area. not too much is known from him asides from this.

2. it was the place where mythical beings dwelled (in mythology)

⠀a. pan is a god of wilderness and shepherds who was said to live in arcadia. he was also worshipped in the area.

⠀-> his status as a god of shepherds could relate to vessel's staff that appeared for a little bit then vanished off the face of the earth. this can be interpreted as a shepherd's staff, used to guide and direct sheep. the shepherd's staff has it's own biblical connotations but that's not the focus of this post

⠀⠀-> one of the presale codes for a promo was "lambs." given how "arcadia" and "veridian" were both also used as codes, i wouldn't be surprised if this came up again as well. maybe vessel will herd flamingos...

⠀⠀-> "lambs" was also the name of the first chapter in the teeth of god novel in which we were introduced to the surface team and the climate on earth.

⠀b. the ceryneian hind is a swift and sacred deer who lived in ceryneia near arcadia. it was named after the river cerynites which flows from arcadia. in addition, it is associated with artemis, goddess of the hunt, nature, and moon.

⠀-> sleep can also be tied into this. if you believe the tentacles emerging from the moon are related to sleep, this would relate to artemis' relation to the moon.

⠀⠀-> goddess of the hunt could also tie into the teeth of god poem, specifically “i am hunting something, and in turn that same thing is hunting me”

⠀-> the ceryneian hind is likely the reference/basis for the “arcadian stag,” present on some merch and the teeth of god cover. hinds are female red deers which can be found in greece. another translation/name used for the deer instead of “hind” was “stag.”

i'm not really sure How Much (if any) of the album/lore is going to reference greek legends and stuff, but i will be Very Pleased if it does since this stuff was fun to look into...

like and subscribe and i'll yap about columns next idk

[writteninlunarlight-years]

hi so I was wondering what do you think about Hazbin hotel vox, luci, and Adam with a pinkie pie like reader like they are super cheerful, loves making people laugh, loves planning parties, takes a confetti cannon with them maybe even have the pinkie pie abilities like pulling huge cakes out of no where, do things that should not be scientifically possible and even break the 4th wall like pinkie pie does on the show

Just thought I’d ask thank you love you work and stay safe out there

Vox

He was very put off by your overly pleasant and bright personality. I mean, come on, he works with the infamous Vee's, and you just walk in all chipper and cheerful and so ungodly neon that you look like a florescent light.

As you became a staple in Vee's club, he enjoyed watching you work well with Velvette and Valentino. You may not be their exact cup of tea either, but you managed to help them execute some of their more outlandish ideas.

When he noticed he was developing more significant feelings for you, he locked himself away from you, yet that hurt both of you far more than he cared to admit.

Bucking up the courage to ask you out, he was pleasantly surprised and mildly embarrassed that you made an 'asking you out party.' He said yes, but he asked never to have something like that done again.

He never dulls your sparkle; instead, he likes to enhance it and loves putting you in front of a camera if you allow him. You radiate so much positivity and joy that he can't help but smile and laugh.

If he has a terrible day against Al or, in general, he loves coming home to you. I stand by the fact that this man is stuck in his ways from the 50s, and a pretty thing with a big smile waiting for him at home makes him soar.

Lucifer

When you came into his life, he was ecstatic. He was very sure he had found his daughter a new best friend. He wanted to say that he had helped Charlie, which was his biggest goal.

Yet you also managed to help him out a lot with your positivity and assistance in branching out and experiencing more life than just his room. You even expressed an interest in his ducks and helped him learn how to sell them.

What was supposed to be a new friend for Charlie slowly morphed into a new mother figure for Charlie as your bright, outlandish ideas were easily molded and crafted to better the young girl and guide her in her endeavors.

As Lucifer noticed his growing feelings, he became a stuttering and bashful mess, leading to Charlie taking the lead and pushing him towards you. She really thought you would be a great addition to the family.

Once you two started dating, Lucifer took his kingly duties much more to heart. He worked hard, day in and day out, to be a positive influence on his people and promote redemption.

If he has a bad day, you being there with a good idea or a new idea for a duck always puts a smile on his face. After you two get done tinkering with whatever you two thought of, cuddles are a great way to end the day.

Adam

He thought you were like every other bitch he met in heaven. You were overly optimistic and wanted to hang with the first man. Yeah, right; what ulterior motive did you have.

Yet, as he saw you having fun with Lute, Emily, and some other close friends, he realized that maybe you weren't after a title but just a happy person.

It was a whirlwind of change when he allowed you into his personal life. You managed to make his home and office more alive and himself more alive.

You were so positive and full of ideas that he saw a lot of Eve in you, making it hard for him to fully let you into his heart, even if he slowly fell head over heels in love with you.

After a swift kick in the ass from Lute and you welcoming Adam into your heart, arms open wide, he admitted his feelings and deep love for your over-joyous personality.

If he has a bad day, he always knows he can look forward to finding you nearby with a smile on your face and a positive solution to fix the mess that he made.

[izzabela]

Hi there! Could write different scenarios of the Lin Kuei brothers who are watching a TV show with their significant other for the first time and a sensual scene comes on and they don't know how to respond between embarrassed and slightly turned on but trying to conceal it (yet failing to lol), and the reader notices it and finds it amusing and teasing them about it? 🤭

Is This Media? - Lin Kuei Trio x GN!reader (scenario fic & modern au)

in which Tomas, Kuai Liang, and Bi Han react to the shows you watch (Bridgerton S2-3 & Queen Charlotte spoilers!)

a/n: as a child, my parents often covered my eyes during kiss scenes or any romance, so I have some ideas on how they'd react

ship[s]: tomas, kuai liang, bi han x gn!reader (scenario fic)

warning(s): suggestive end(s)

Bi Han

Rotting is only for food, plants, and dead animals.

So the fact that Bi Han managed to waste a day on the couch, with you, wrapped in fluffy blankets, with chips on both side of you, and watching Bridgerton, was an incredible feat in it of itself.

Although it was your day off, Bi Han decided to end his own day early, handing off his responsibilities to his brothers back at the office. He had full faith in them, and he missed you (on the DL though). He felt as if he didn't spend enough time with you, so home he went.

He was hoping to hit the gym with you, walk around the park, even go out to those café's you enjoyed. However, when he found you wrapped up like a little babushka with the blanket over your head and chips in your mouth, he knew you had planned something out for the both of you.

So now, he lays next to you as you watch the latest season of Bridgerton, season three with Penelope and Colin. Truth be told, you were watching because Anthony and Kate were making huge cameos, but the season turned out to be decent in your eyes. Bi Han, on the other hand, complained about every little thing.

"The costumes aren't historically accurate," he grumbled at one scene, biting his chip angrily.

"Symbolism seems to be a petty scapegoat in these kinds of shows" he groaned at another scene, one with Penelope writing some stuff down. "I mean, her name is 'Pen' and she holds a quill- how obvious does it get?!"

Seriously, he reminded you of your dad when watching these types of shows.

Now it came to the turning point of the romance, and both characters managed to be alone together. The screen was filled with tension, and the fact both characters are so close, a millimeter from touching, killed you.

"Kiss! Come on, Colin, don't flake now!" you squealed, gripping onto Bi Han's hand as your wishes came true.

While you were giggling your feet like a school girl who just got asked out, Bi Han was quiet and still. His eyes remained glued on the screen, watching as both characters explored one another (to the length they were allowed to go for the rating).

He could feel his pants and underwear suddenly becoming tight, his body growing just a degree warmer, and a warm flush grow on his cheeks and ears. He coughs, trying to distract himself, then reaches for your water bottle on the coffee table in front of you.

You gasp at the betrayal, watching him down the water fast. Like a parched athlete, he's finally done and wipes his mouth after one last gulp. You may have laughed at first, but when you see him shift his pants from under the blanket, the full picture is drawn.

Your eyes catch how his eyes don't meet yours, the pink on his ears and cheeks, even the way he's breathing. He's covering his face and turning away, hoping you leave him alone.

"L-let us continue!" he huffs as he sits back down, his legs bent in a way so the blanket doesn't land on his crotch area.

You turn to him with a sly brow and a smirk, scooting closer to him as you tease your boyfriend.

"Are you... nervous dear?" You poke his cheek as he tries to play it off. "Pen and Colin's scene got you acting all crazy?"

"Don't fill your head with delusion," Bi Han says gruffly, turning away like a toddler who got caught stealing cookies. You just laugh as you keep making fun of him, teasing him for his reactions to Hollywood magic.

You coo and place your hand under his cheek, turning it gently to pepper his face in kisses as an apology for "being mean". As you placed kisses on his forehead, nose, and eyelids, he catches your lips in his as he shoves his tongue in the tavern of your mouth. His hand cups your cheek, and you dig your hands into his hair.

When you finally pull away, you boop his nose and giggle, "Still embarrassed?" Bi Han just scoffs, topping you on the couchas he cages you with his arms.

Bi Han throws the blanket away from his body, lifting his shirt over his head to reveal his firm body.

"We'll see who's embarrassed after this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kuai Liang

You cuddled in close to Kuai Liang as you two watched an episode of Bridgerton season two. In order for you to prepare for season three, you decided to rewatch the other two seasons (plus Queen Charolette) to remind yourself where you were in the series.

Kuai Liang had just finished taking a shower, since he came home from work at the office with his brothers. He wasn't supposed to be seated here, his services were needed to make dinner, but here he was.

You giggled as you fed yourself popcorn from the huge bowl that sat in between your left leg and Kuai's right leg. While you were enjoying the show, Kuai Liang sat there an scrutinized every detail of the show.

You first watched the show by yourself, as Kuai Liang was busy doing his own thing. However, during this rewatch marathon of yours, he began to watch the show. It started with him standing from the kitchen, arms crossed as he examined everything in the show.

He knew he and his brothers acted similarly, but even twins are not a hundred percent the same (they aren't twins, just making a comparison). Unlike Bi Han, who was vocal on the cheesiness of the show, Kuai Liang remained silent and reserved. He wasn't completely emotionless, as he laughed during some parts that he found amusing.

What he didn't laugh at, though, was the raunchy scene between Kate and Anthony.

You watch the scene with wide and intense eyes, the characters leaving the ballroom only to meet under the gazebo of the Bridgerton backyard. The scene is filled with forbidden love, secrets, and the undying need to touch one another.

"I don't understand, they were dancing so well together, why are they mad?" He asks, genuinely perplexed at the change-up of the actors' feelings.

Ah, you forgot he didn't understand subtle acting. And the fact he asks many questions during these kinds of shows.

You squeal, gripping onto Kuai Liang's bicep as you explain the scene to him.

"Anthony is supposed to be hitting it off with Kate's little sister, but he doesn't like her like that. They danced together like that because Kate was trying to leave for India, to get away from him and his love..."

The scene suddenly changes, and both actors are all over each other as they dive into one another's mouths. The erotic sounds of their moans and groans fills the surround system of the T.V., and Kuai Liang finds himself uncomfortable at the sudden display of... hefty affection.

You scream, practically bursting his eardrum, but he finds it enjoyable because you're so excited.

Did he find the show predictable and boring? Yes.

Did he love you in your entirety? Even more yes.

And that trumps every other emotion he could ever feel towards this show.

As the characters kiss, Kuai just sits in contemplation at the media in front of him. Since when did media get to this point? He thinks, adjusting himself in his seat.

As much as he tries to remain calm and collected, his neck is slightly pink and warm to the touch. His palms also begin to sweat buckets, and you can see him rub his hands up and down his legs as he tries to wipe the signs of nervousness away.

You're gripping onto his bicep as you watch Kate and Anthony go at it like starving wolves, however his arm is a bit wet. You look up at your boyfriend and see his nervous face.

Cheeky ideas fill your mind as you watch Kuai Liang's furrowed brow, the sweat that crawling down his face, and his straight and pursed lips. You giggle as you look between the growing sensuality of the scene and Kuai Liang, finally piecing the puzzle together.

He was flushed, and all due to Hollywood screenwriting. Adorable.

You go snd sit on his lap, using your arm to wipe the sweat on his forehead (and using this opportunity). You chuckle at his preteen reaction to your show, squishing his cheeks as you tease him. He rolls his eyes as a joke, placing his hands on your hips to keep you steady.

"Hot and bothered over scripted sets?" you giggle some more. "The mighty Kuai Liang, downed by a simple love scene!"

Kuai Liang pulls you closer with one arm, and his other crawls to the back of your head as your nose and his almost touch. In his lap, you can feel the growing muscle in his crotch area, and suddenly you're reminded of your position in all of this.

You gulp nervously, and Kuai Liang plants a loving kiss on your forehead.

"We'll see who's high and mighty after this scene."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomas

Tomas doesn't remember watching a movie in his youth.

Before his family passed, movies were considered a luxury due to their economic status. Although adopted into a new family, movies were not really in the picture, either, since he was raised into supporting Bi Han alongside Kuai Liang.

It was through you he saw the beauty in movies, the cheesiness of Hollywood, and the talent of amazing screenwriters.

Through you, he saw horrific tales of slasher films, dramas of soap operas, even Hallmark. With more time, he discovered streaming shows thanks to your endless subscriptions.

He also realized how romance was your go-to genre, and how you were obsessed with Bridgerton at the very moment.

Was he just as attached as you? Yes.

He found the spin off much more endearing, since the chemistry between both actors felt so real. The script was amazing, not to mention he cried a bit.

Right now, you two were watching the spin off, Queen Charlotte, as it was the latest release before season 3.

You two stayed in your bedroom, as there was a TV inside. Cuddled close, you two had an assortment of snacks on top of a towel in between both of you.

You watched with a slack jaw and a palm full of cookies as the scene where the king and queen are in front of a fire, only in pajamas, and flirting heavily.

"Oh my goodness," you gasp as you turn to Tomas, who's a bit confused.

"What, my dear?" he asks, quirked brow and a perplexed face.

"It's the 'I'm good with buttons' scene!" you exclaim and shove a cookie in your mouth.

Tomas turns back to the screen and watches how the king slowly walks up to the queen, says the line, and slowly kisses her.

Cutely, Tomas raises his arms up to hide behind them, only peeking through his fingers to check. As he checks, the scene grows more and more haughty, and so does he.

Tomas is pink from neck to forehead, his hands covered his face completely, and he's got a raging boner in his pants. It wasn't the actress, no (though she is beautiful), it was the scene itself.

I mean, when did media do this?

As Tomas coughs to try and cool himself down, shifting in his seat, your head is turned to his attention. It's so obvious what he's trying to hide, and he isn't doing a good job either.

You scoot closer to him, nudging him with your elbow as you tease him.

"How many times have we watched movies like this, and you still get so flustered!" you tease him and he just groans as he tries to play it cool.

"Darling please," he whines as he turns away. "It's just so... explicit!"

You laugh as you kiss his hand that covers his face, "Come on, honey, it isn't that bad."

You pry his fingers off until his cute pink face in view. You giggle as you kiss his nose, then his cheek, settling into his lap as you do so.

You can feel his rock hard member locked away behind is pants, and both of you are trapped in an air of lust and wanting.

Tomas voices his wanting, using his newfound skills from the show.

"I'm just as good with button, if you want to test my skills."

=====================

EASY MONEY

guys my inbox is getting full i love this

okay see yall in the next fic!

[wordslikesilver]

Okay but why mohg and Radahn I hear you all asking, I get it, that seems odd to me too until I realized, they are the ONLY demigods that don’t reject and remove a single part of themselves. The only ones that are “whole”. Rykard becomes snake man. Ranni rids herself of her body. Godwyn loses his soul. Malenia gives up her memories to the scarlet rot. Morgott not only shaves his horns but he also purges himself of his entire curse at the end of the fight. Let’s go beyond siblings. Godfrey gives up his savagery. What HASNT Marika given up. Rennala has lost her faculties to heart break and more. Godrick grafts. Messmer has a bajillion seals on his body. Melina’s body has been burned away at some point leaving her just a spirit.

There is a huge significance to the fact that Miquella has taken the only two demigods who gave up nothing… and forced them to lose a part of themselves. Mohg lost his soul and Radahn lost his body (and his horse 😭). It’s fascinating how they both gave up nothing. Mohg let his horns take his eye out and just left the golden order without any real retaliation (yet, his dynasty was still growing ofc, there’s something to be said for growing one’s forces after all). He really seemed to just accept a lot happening to and around him and then firming it. He’s got shit to do. A cult to run. Blood to, idk, bathe in or whatever. The bloodflame is fascinating though. More on that in a moment. Radahn embraces his heritage just as much as Mohg embraces his own. He embraces the red hair AND he embraces the lion. He doesn’t even give up Leonard! That’s actually story significant symbolism! And the symbolism I think is that Miquella wanted demigods who would not reject. If they didn’t reject any part of themselves, then they would truly embody compassion.

What got me thinking about this was Morgott actually and I was sitting here wondering, what is the significance of him vomiting during the bossfight? Like what was the decision there from a director perspective, why isn’t he just doing a big explosion of Omen Bairns or something and then it occurred to me that this is WHY he’s completely purged of his curse at the end of the fight. Morgott is blessed in his final moments after giving his entire life to the Erdtree by having his curse that stains the very throne he sits on purged from his body and he doesn’t even realize it. “Thy part in such shame shall not be forgiven!” And there is so much omen curse in his body, you don’t understand. He has more omen blood on his hands than anyone else alive. He has to vomit GEYSERS of it out. We are the agent of his mother and we push him to the breaking point where at last he can be purged of this critical mass of omen curse. Morgott’s story is defined by FEELING alone, but in truth, he is loved by the crucible of life, by the Erdtree, by his father, even by his mother, misguided as she was. His final words ache so much in my chest. “We are all forsaken” and “Thy deeds shall be met with failure just as I” NO MORGOTT YOU SUCCEEDED. THE ERDTREE EMBRACED YOU, YOURE FREE OF YOUR CURSE NOW. ITS OKAY, ITS ALL GONNA BE OKAY, YOU MADE IT.

I sit and wonder how many times he polished the thrones himself on hands and knees, worried that some of his curse may have fallen upon them. I wonder if he felt the curse leaving his body and felt disgust because he thought he deserved to suffer longer.

[doberbutts]

Genuine question: What do you think of the argument that very white-passing folks — even if they have black parents, grandparents, etc. — cannot call themselves black?

Personally I think whether or not you're black depends on your actual lived reality. My nephew is white passing. He's from the sister who is about the same tone as me, just a little lighter, and the same racial mixture of Irish and afronative, and his very German father. He's got white skin and blonde hair and blue eyes and genuinely if you didn't know that little boy was technically black you would not guess it.

However. He lives with his visibly black mother, his visibly black sister (same racial mix as him, she just got the darker genes), and their visibly black stepfather and visibly black stepsiblings. He's the odd man out, the lightest of the group, and the one that looks like he doesn't belong. And, when you see him next to his family... suddenly the white skin and blonde hair and blue eyes don't cut it for determining his whiteness, because you start to notice that he shares a whole lot of features with the darker skinned members of his family.

Like me, he's put his foot down about his blackness. If asked at school why he's white but his family is black, he will outright state that he's mixed race and that he is actually black and white just like his sister and mother. He's not wrong. He IS black and white and no small part Native, though I think the complexity of the last part is hard for him to grasp at his elementary school level understanding of race politics.

But what is his reality? Well, when he's with his white father, or my white (passing) mother, he's white. Until he opens his mouth to defend his sister or his mother or a friend of his from racism, at which point said racist's eyes laser-focus on every minute detail of his face to pick out the non-European features covered in pale skin.

This is honestly pretty similar to how a Jewish friend of mine describes her experience, how she is white until she opens her mouth to say something positive about Judiasm or negative about antisemitism, at which point every possible Jewish feature on her face comes under intense scrutiny and her white status is revoked immediately. It's also why I'm always on this "antisemitism 🤝 antiblackness" thing.

I also have a Hungarian friend who is equally peeved at the flattening of racial nuance, as he and his family consider themselves mixed race and Eurasian and not just white, however he has had equal amount of people hurting him for his more blatantly Asian features as he's had people telling him he never experiences racism because he's a white European. Similarly, his reality is that he's white until he says something that doesn't align with white supremacy's rules on white opinion and white behavior, at which point every single Asian feature he has is used as punishment against him.

It's not to say that my nephew, my Jewish friend, or my Hungarian friend don't benefit from their perceived whiteness. They do, in fact! My nephew again is a bit young to have this conversation, but my friends have also discussed with me how they have seen that perception occasionally give them a boost as they move through life. And how, if they would want to keep that boost, they'd have to lean into the concept of whiteness and erase a significant portion of their identities in the process.

This is also spoken about at length by Natives forced to assimilate and intermarry with white people to "breed out the savage", as it were. And I know of lightskinned, though imo not white passing, black people who have discussed the same thing. This even is discussed by people in the Irish, Italian, Greek, and Polish diaspora here in the US- how their current status of "white" came at the cost of not only erasing huge portions of their own culture and history but also practically requires them to lean into white supremacy in order to continue to reap the benefits of white privilege, and how the cost is so much higher than the gain especially when you understand that it doesn't work. You can be One Of The Good Ones all you like and someone dedicated to racism is still going to hate you even once you've gotten rid of all the obvious poc.

To put it simply, these aren't new conversations and I'm never going to be anywhere remotely close to "white-passing" so it's sort of a moot point for me. It's not my reality. But I think listening to those who have lived it is better for gaining a more solid understanding. I don't think that my nephew is wrong to call himself black or mixed black. It's technically true, he came out of a black woman. I also think he is going to have a very different life from his sister, from his mother, from his stepfather and stepsiblings, from his black extended family.

I think rejection from the black community would only hurt him, because he is growing up surrounded by black people in a black family learning black culture, so someone telling him that he shares the same features and DNA but his skin is too light to find community there is just hurtful. Who does it help? Who does it protect? To tell a little kid that he can't call himself part of his own family?

[hkthatgffan]

Hey! You seem like a huge *Gravity Falls* fan, so I was hoping you could answer some of my biggest questions about morality in the show. Since the release of *The Book of Bill* (which I’ve read), do you think Bill could ever be redeemed or seen sympathetically? Is there a possibility for him to get better and maybe even have a happy ending?

I ask this because I see a lot of fans saying, "He's awful," or "He deserves everything coming to him a thousandfold," and "Don't sympathize with him!" But then I watch the show, and I see characters like Gideon Gleeful and Robbie who were also problematic—they did terrible things but still got happy endings.

I know Gideon went to jail, but he broke out and ultimately had a positive resolution. Robbie, for example, tried to brainwash Wendy into a romantic relationship (which is super messed up!). Even though it didn’t work, and Wendy only dated him because she thought he wrote her that song, Robbie knew what the CD was supposed to do. But instead of facing real consequences, he just went through a breakup and still ended up with a happy ending, with friends and a new girlfriend.

As for Gideon, he tried to kill Dipper, manipulate Mabel, and invade the entire town’s privacy—basically doing some of the same things Bill did. Yet, after going to jail and making a last-minute turn toward good, he still got a happy ending.

So I’m super confused. What should I be feeling? Is there a correct way to view these characters? What do you think?

Bill at his core is the personification of denial. We see in the book that the harbours some regret and hatred for what he's done to the people around him but he refuses to try and take it to heart and use it as a point to grow from. I mean, look at what he did.

He killed his entire dimension and family and yet tries to deny it was anything bad and that in fact he liberated them. He manipulated and almost destroyed Ford and yet denies ruining the friendship they had. He tried to kill Dipper and Mabel and yet acts like it was nothing. Bill is unsympathetic. He's a narcissistic sociopath who doesn't wanna admit it.

The difference with Robbie and Gideon is that they changed and grew past their issues. Robbie tbh was more so being a literal teen drama story while Gideon was made that way through his exposure to Journal 2 and how that corrupted him. Once both found a new lease on life, they were able to grow and become better.

Bill is not that. He cannot accept that he's not fine and that he's the sole survivor of his kind and has pushed everyone he knew out of his life through his own actions. We've all probably dealt with people like Bill Cipher. Be it a person, co-worker, significant other, friend, family member, etc. We've all had that person who acts full of themselves and manipulatively but in reality is suffering. But because of how they act and their refusal to do anything, you start to lose any sympathy or interest in helping or being there and just let them go. Congrats...you just escaped a toxic relationship.

As someone who has dealt with Bill Ciphers in my life like many of us probably have, it's easy to feel sympathy for him. Bill make his case out as such that you wanna feel like he deserves better. But he's a trillion year old being that has been doing the same thing over and over again and refuses to make an effort to move on and let himself accept what he did to his dimension and to people around him like Ford.

Ford on the other hand realized that and cut Bill out of his life. He's doing better now because of that and has his family by his side. Ford is an example of how to move on from such toxic situations and people and find happiness in your life again after that. Bill is the example of what happens if you can't.

Life is short. We all will die one day. We all deserve to lead a life free of people like Bill Cipher in it. The best thing we can do is follow Ford and find the people in life that make us happy and let go of Bill.

So, to answer your question, NO!

I don't think Bill Cipher can be redeemed or seen in a sympathetic way. He tried to. But he's shown even in the Theraprism that he can't. He's doomed to live forever with the shit he's done. And it's his own fault.

Bill can say he's fine but in the end...he's not. And he never will be. There is no redemption for Bill Cipher.

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍  – 𝟏𝟎

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒.𝟐𝐤 (not proofread am sorry it's lit 3.30am)

⤲ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧...

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

"She's fucking furious with me right now because I haven't responded to her messages asking about her choice of outfit for tonight", Jungwon says as he buckles himself up in the passenger seat of his Heeseung's car, a huge, dimpled smile covering the younger one's face and actually managing to push away all those annoying thoughts roaming his cousin's mind.

Heeseung can't help but let out a deep sigh, because just as he's expected, Won doesn't hesitate to hold up his phone and show him the cute little pictures you had sent your best friends a few hours prior, which definitely don't fail to make his head spin like crazy.

"Honestly she looks bomb in all of them", Jungwon chuckles and puts his phone away without giving his older cousin the chance to fully take in the sight of your pretty body clad in a tight dress, exposing just the right amount of cleavage as well as presenting your legs in the most perfect way possible.

And as images of all the things he wants to do you fill his head, a huge jolt of guilt rushes through his whole body, a feeling he's gotten used to by now, yet never fails to ruin his mood in ways he can't explain. Heeseung knows his train of thoughts regarding his best friend's little sister is wrong, he shouldn't think about you this way, but after years of fighting with himself, he's come to accept it and brush all those visuals off to the side, all the way to the last corner of his brain to save them for his lonely nights.

"Oh, come on, old man", Jungwon suddenly exclaims and rolls his eyes at his cousin's lack of response, "she's a fucking ten, stop acting like she's not at least attractive."

"She's Hoon's sister, Won", Heeseung gulps harshly, the words feeling heavier than usual and as soon as they roll off his tongue, he can't help but remember all the times he's had to forget the most significant fact about you, just to enjoy himself.

"So?" The younger one doesn't even try to hide his confusion, a trait which definitely comes in handy at times, yet in moments like these Heeseung definitely hates him for it.

"Of course she's attractive", he mumbles and runs a hand through his dark hair to calm himself down, "but not to me."

"Right", Won scoffs and pulls off his beanie as the heat in the little space of Seung's car seems to overwhelm him, "you act like admitting it is going to get you into jail. She's only two yesrs younger than you, you know that, right?"

Of course he does. It's the only thing he's been telling himself ever since the day he realised how much he wants you and what started out as a way to stop his feelings from getting worse, ended up being the number one excuse for his fucked up brain to go absolutely wild when it comes to thoughts of you.

It's never been about age to Heeseung. He might have stated it as a reason back when you had decided to confess your feelings to him on the night of his graduation party, yet he's always been aware of the fact that he never really cared about those two years. You've never been too immature or too young, he's actually always admired just how wise and thoughtful you were compared to everyone else around him. But it's always been the easiest road to walk on whenever it came to the point where he somehow ended up considering a conversation about you with your older brother.

"She's still Hoon's younger sister and that's why it's weird to me to think of her like that."

Fucking lies.

Heeseung sometimes struggles to believe just how easy lying about his feelings and thoughts had become to him. A realisation, which never fails to scare him as he used to be so keen on being as honest as he could be in every situation imaginable.

"Whatever", Jungwon mumbles and lets out a soft sigh, "I'm so happy your little trophy wife isn't coming. I know my baby said she wouldn't mind but those words really got to her and her being there would have ruined everyone's mood."

For a split second, Heeseung feels his heart breaking into thousands of pieces as his brain processes his cousin's word, only for him to take a deep breath and shift his gaze to the younger male as the car comes to a halt at a red light.

"I don't want to talk about Sumin right now", is the only thing he manages to respond with, mentally and physically too exhausted to go into yet another argument about his choice of close friends.

"You kind of never want to talk about her, yet she's always...there." This time Heeseung can't help but roll his eyes as Jungwon bursts into laughter, slapping his hand against the younger ones chest before he tells him to just put some music on and drop the topic he's been trying to avoid for actual months.

The remaining drive to your new apartment is filled with comfortable silence as the two cousins individually prepare themselves for the get together. And just as Heeseung turns off the engine of his car, his phone starts vibrating in his pocket and just as expected he's met with his best friend's name on the display.

"Where the fuck are you?" Sunghoon's voice is laced in amusement and playfulness, the side of him the young male has missed more than he had realised after the two friends had spent quite a bit of time in physical as well as emotional distance and with a soft chuckle, Heeseung reaches for the bouquet of flowers he had gotten for you before he shuts the door and locks his car.

"I literally just parked the car, still had to pick up my present", he replies calmly, shooting Won a huge smile of excitement as he comes to join him at the door to your apartment building and without even giving his best friend a verbal response, Sunghoon hurries to buzz him in, having absolutely no idea what said present might even be.

"Seung's at the door!" At your brother's sudden announcement your heart involuntarily skips a beat and you can't hide the big big smile on your face as you excuse yourself to meet the one guest you've been patiently waiting for at the door like the good host you are.

"He's actually never one to be late but apparently he had to pick up your present", Hoon explains and takes a sip from his beer, throwing his arm over your shoulder before he continues, "now I'm curious what that fucker got you. I bet it's super cool, he actually does really well when it comes to choosing gifts."

"I know."

And you actually do. One of your favorite things about your brother's best friend have always been just how attentive and thoughtful he is; those traits noticeable in every single one of his love languages and despite not being as close to him as his friends, you could always tell he loves and cares about his close circle a lot more than people might give him credit for.

You still remember the day of Jaeyun's eighteenth birthday, where you guys had decided to throw him a surprise party, only for Seung to organise everything and get him a premium soccer jersey Jake had talked to his friends about once because he never liked wasting his breath on wishful thoughts of things he knew he couldn't afford.

As you try to guess what he might have gotten for you, memories of all your previous celebrations together start filling your brain and at the sudden mental image of a very special necklace you feel your heart lenching with agony in your chest.

However, you don't get enough time to lose yourself in those thoughts, as the little ping coming from the elevator at the end of the hall pulls you back into reality, only for the sight you're met with to completely and utterly shock you.

"No fucking way."

Your brother basically takes the words out of your mouth as the two of you stare at your best friend of fifteen years.

"Oh, my fucking God", your voice is barely a whisper as a thick veil of tears blurs your vision, yet you quickly throw your head back to stop them from running down your cheeks, not wanting go ruin Yuna's hard work.

Jungwon doesn't say much and you know it's because he's just as emotional as you; the two of you had never been this far away from each other for this long, which is why the reunion is as bittersweet as one can imagine.

However, when the tall male comes to stand right in front of you with his arms wide open, you can't help but let out a loud scream of happine as you throw your arms around his neck and finally pull him into a tight hug.

Giggles and laughter, way too many profanities and just as many "I've missed you"s filling the empty hallway of your apartment building and you have absolutely no idea for just how long you stay like that, just basking in the feeling of home in form of a person, something you've been subconsciously craving much more than you would have ever admitted to yourself.

And as you slowly open your teary eyes, your gaze meets one so gentle and genuine, you feel tiny little butterflies coming back to live in your stomach; the ones you thought you had skillfully managed to kill exactly four years ago, only for them to proof you wrong.

Heeseung's pretty lips are stretched into a kind smile, his perfect teeth on full display as his pretty eyes have turned into cute little half moons. Despite knowing him for so long, you can't remember a time where anything related to you was the reason for the infamous Lee Heeseung smile and you physically can't get yourself to be upset about it. The thought of being the reason for something you used to daydream about fueling the fire in your chest in ways you've never experienced it before.

Jungwon gently pulls away from you, places a soft kiss on your forehead and manages to gain your attention back before the two of you burst into another row of loud laughter and giggles only for your brother to intervene.

"Come here, big guy", Sunghoon laughs and opens his arms, only for Jungwon to welcome the sweet gesture with a big smile.

And as you watch the way the others finally make their way to the front door, surprise written all over their faces as soon as they spot your best friend, you turn your attention to a rather quiet and reserved Heeseung.

"Thank you so much", you say and nervously play with the rings on your fingers, your eyes meeting his and a feeling of longing overwhelms your chest as soon as he shakes his head with another gentle smile.

"No need to thank me", he replies clamly and runs a hand through his dark hair, "I just wanted to make sure you really know that I actually care about you and your feelings. See this as the second part of my apology."

In the past four years, Heeseung hasn't spoken that many words to you in total, let alone in one sentence, which is probably why the look of surprise on your face doesn't seem to faze him, as he's always been more than just self aware.

You don't really know what to say or do. The sound of his voice, his choice of words, the meaning behind them and the intensity with which your heart has been hammering against your rib cage way too overwhelming for your poor brain to produce anything beyond nonsense.

"Oh, and these are for you", he suddenly adds and hands you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, this time however deciding to avoid your gaze and this time you can't help the little chuckle falling past your lips.

"You still remember my favorites, huh? You're so charming when you don't wanna fight me", you joke and shoot him a grateful smile, pressing the bouquet close to your chest as you attentively observe Heeseung's body language.

Unfortunately your very first one-on-one moment is abruptly interrupted by a call of your name coming from the front door, which is when you realise where you two have been standing all this time.

The following hours are filled with a few rounds of the nice dinner Jongseong had helped you with, your favorite drinking games, way too much karaoke and just casual conversations.

And as the night goes on, you can't shake off the feeling of a certain gaze attentively watching you from across the room, yet every time you actually try to meet those eyes you've been dreaming about in secret, your brother's best friend casually shifts his attention away from you again, leaving you confused.

Unfortunately none of your guests give you the opportunity to start another conversation with Heeseung, each one of your attempts being interrupted by someone else and by the nth time you just give up, accepting your fate that maybe you're just not supposed to talk to him.

Different than you'd expected, your as well as your brother's friends do a great job keeping him away from you, as you pay a little more attention to your green haired coworker than some of your other guests, yet always finding yourself hoping to be interrupted.

It's not like Jiung's boring or annoying you, his company actually quite enjoyable and comfortable, which is why you feel so bad for being relieved by your best friend's sudden appearance every time you felt yourself tensing up from the slight awkwardness between the two of you.

You can tell from the way he's been following you around that Jiung's been trying to get a few proper moments with you and despite this being your initial intention as well, you simply can't get yourself to seek his single presence the way you do it with a certain someone else.

"So?" Jungwon suddenly says as he takes another bite from one of Yuna's cupcakes, his cheeks slightly flushed, hair messily falling into his handsome face and reminding you of all the times you guys used to sneak out to drink back in your high school days.

You know exactly what – or better said – who he's referring to; Won's never had a problem reading you like an open book after all and just as usual, you kind of hate him for this particular ability.

"He's cute", you mumble and skillfully manage to avoid his gaze by shifting your focus on the pile of dirty dishes in your sink, using the opportunity of your guests being distracted to clean up and save yourself from a bad surprise tomorrow.

"Girl, don't fucking play with me", Won replies and you can literally hear his eyes rolling into the back of his head, "he's been all over you all night. That man wants you."

You have absolutely no idea why, but for some reason you find yourself cringing at your best friend's observation and you're almost sure it's because you've noticed Jiung's rather obvious attempts of PDA, something you've never really minded, yet seem to be a little more uncomfortable than before.

There's a tiny voice in the back of your head telling you the exact reason for your sudden discomfort, yet you refuse to acknowledge your brother's best friend and his deathly glares being just that. You're over him and definitely not about to get into your head about misunderstood expressions again.

"Yeah, I know", you genuinely hope Jungwon doesn't notice your little pause and to your luck he's the worst lightweight to exist and has probably stopped producing proper thoughts hours ago.

"What are you waiting for then? Go get laid, he looks like the type to eat pussy. Isn't that what you're looking for in a man?"

"Yang fucking Jungwon!"

His words, as unhinged and shameless as they are, also happen to be nothing but the truth and yet again you find yourself cursing at yourself for being so honest with him.

"Having a screaming match without me? You're breaking my heart guys", Jiung suddenly says as he walks into your kitchen and plops down right in front of your best friend, reaching for one of the little desserts with a big smile.

You don't respond to his comment, laughing it off and secretly hoping for him to take his cupcake and leave you alone with your best friend again, only for it to be the exact opposite.

"Oh? I think Jong's calling me! See you guys!"

You don't even have enough time to properly process your best friend's sudden disappearance and as his words echo in your head, you can't help but swallow the sigh of annoyence bubbling up your throat. It's not like you mind being alone with your pretty faced coworker, but after spending most the night with him you can't help but feel a little fed up.

You hate yourself for thinking like this, especially since you know exactly it's because you read too much into the fee times you caught Heeseung staring at you or glaring at Jiung whenever he had his arm around your waist or over your shoulder, when it's probably only because Hoon's too tipsy to play the protective older brother.

"You look really fucking good tonight", Jiung suddenly says and it's the sudden raise in volume, which makes you reakise how close he's come to stand next to you.

"Thanks, Ji", you say calmly and are grateful for your ability to hide everything you're thinking and feeling behind a genuine smile.

"I actually had a really great time, you know? Your friends are fucking hilarious and your brother and his boys are way more fun than I thought." You can tell from the genuine expression in his pretty eyes how honest he's being and you can't help but feel happy about him enjoying his time with your favorite people. At the end of the day you definitely can't hide the attraction you feel towards him and maybe he'll be the one to finally get your mind off of a certain someone who's not only absolutely off limits but has no interest in you in basically any way.

"I'm really glad to hear that", you say and turn off the water, drying your hands as you turn your body to face your tall coworker, "am pretty sure they're too drunk to admit it but I can tell this might become a regular thing."

Jiung chuckles charmingly and nods, his hand suddenly finding it's way to the loose strand of hair falling out of your hair clip and with a soft smile you cock your head to the side and look at him attentively.

"Definitely wouldn't mind that. You've got a nice bunch there, really great company", he mumbles and gently caresses your cheek with the back of his finger, sending chills over your arms with the sudden contrast of his cold rings against your slightly heated skin.

However, as sweet and gentle as his touches are, you feel the urge to move away for some reason, mostly because you're definitely not really keen on someone walking in on you two so close together, especially since the chance of said someone being your brother or one of his best friends are way too high.

The tiny voice in the back of your head has started screaming at this point and you hate how much you're actually fighting it. There's no need to be so hesitant with Jiung. He's made his intentions quite clear with his behavior and despite his lack of interest in something serious, you're not necessarily turned off, but actually intrigued.

A beat of silence follows his words, the tension in the air turning so thick, you could practically cut through it with a knife if you tried and with a soft sigh you pull your bottom lip between your teeth and let him fake yet another step closer to you.

"Is this okay?" Jiung asks calmly and takes your face into his pretty hands, the gesture so sweet yet nowhere are those butterflies from earlier to be seen.

And as soon as you manage to push those doubts and thoughts aside, you nod in response to his question and even move a little further into his touch, only for the jarring sound of glass breaking into thousands of pieces to pull you back to reality.

With a soft gasp of surprise you quickly turn around, make your way into the direction the loud noise came from and feel waves of shock roll over you at the sight of Heeseung on his knees as he carefully picks up the little pieces of glass. 

"I'm so sorry", he quickly says, yet doesn't look at you and for some reason you can't help but wonder why he's decided to avoid your gaze again, "I got lost in my thoughts and it just slipped out of my hand."

His explanation is quick and simple, so you just shake your head and reassure him to make sure he knows you genuinely don't mind.

And as you help carefully kneel down to help your brother's best friend, Heeseung feels the rage and jealousy in his chest slowly calming down again, as well as the rationality finally returning to him, yet unfortunately way too late. If he could have only used his actual brain before letting his emotions take over, he wouldn't have made such a mess, yet a wave of relief quickly following everything as he reminds himself that you didn't actually kiss that pretty face.

He didn't mean to eavesdrop. Heeseung hadn't even seen Jiung enter the kitchen, actually assumed you were by yourself once Jungwon had walked into the living room, which is how he found himself listening in on your little conversation.

Never in a lifetime would he have forgiven himself for letting it happen right then and there. You might not actually be his but he'd be dammed if he made himself go through the agony of watching you with someone else. He's had to put up with that baristas little shit show all night, he was sure as hell not going to let him win this round as well.

Was the damage avoidable? Definitely. Was it necessary? Absolutely fucking yes.

Heeseung can tell from the worry in your voice how you don't even seem angry or annoyed for your kiss to be ruined and he absolutely hates himself for being so excited about it.

He's very well aware of how wishful and delusional his thoughts had become, yet there's a part of him which is convinced your sudden lack of interest in your new coworker was actually because of him.

"As long as you didn't hurt yourself", you say quickly and finally manage to lock gazes with him, yet instantly regretting it as you're met with nothing but rage and an expression you had never seen in his eyes before.

Maybe you're too tired or tipsier than you thought, yet you can't help but wonder what's going on behind those pretty eyes.

"That guy's up to no good", Heeseung suddenly mumbles and takes the last pieces of glass carefully into his palm, back to skilfully avoiding your gaze and at first his words overwhelm you, but are quickly echoing in your brain with intensity you actually feel yourself getting lightheaded .

"Pardon?"

You can't get yourself to vide your shock about his comment, a tiny wave of snger breaking down on you at the thought of Heeseung actually saying something like this to you.

"You heard what I said, princess", he grunts and basically jumps onto his feet, doesn't even give you enough time to comprehend his use of an actual pet name for you, "be careful with him. You deserve and definitely should do better than him."

You open your mouth in an attempt to actually respond to him, yet fail miserably as you close it again without uttering a single word; apparently Heeseung wasn't planning on listening anyway as he shoots you one last warning glare and throws the broken pieces of glass into the little trash bin in your hallways before he makes his way to your front door and actually leaves without looking back.

And as you remain in your position on the floor, tiny pieces of shattered glass in your hands and your brows furrowed in absolute confusion, you struggle to actually comprehend what had just happened. Because what the fuck actualy just happened? And why did it manage it to revive those fucking butterflies yet again?

(A/N: i feel like it's way more boring than i wanted it to be so pls lmk what you guys think. too tired to write more so pls know i love and appreciate all of you, sending kisses to everyone. also this chap was inspired by the one scene in twisted games, ifykyk lmao feedback and reblogs are appreciated babies 🧸🩷)

TAGLIST: @soonigiri @thvhannie @enhaz1 @kpoprhia @abrazosolorcereza @deobitifull @mixtape-racha @certifiedmoa @jungwon-xo @hoonieluv @enhamysunshines @jaehoonii @pussyslayerhd @ineedsomezzz @neocockthotology @heerinnie @onionzzzs @hee-pster @3amstarlight @xxxxrvexxxx @primroselover @mimikittysblog @iea-tsand @lhspeachie @xiaoderrrr @viagumi @smg-valeria @kells5595 @heeseunghee7 @xrvrqs @ddazed-lhs @heebrry @fakeuwus @dammit-jjk @ivyannemarie @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @s00buwu

[harmonic-intervention]

Don't believe this change of plans is how the story ends

He hoped Buck would move on quickly, too. He deserved it. He deserved someone real, someone sweet, someone who could match his sunshine. Someone who wasn’t Tommy.

Tommy would have to live with that. Again. At least he still had Odin who was trying his best to comfort Tommy every second they spent together.

At least he still had Odin.

Got another fix-it for you. Because I can't be stopped now, and I am working through my WIPs currently.

Word count: 10,538 - getting back together, cat owner tommy, origin story of the cat I continuously give him

Excerpt:

Who fucking decided from one day to the next that actually no, he didn’t want a future with Tommy after all. After they had fucking discussed saving up for a house, talked about kids in the future. About engagement and marriage and all that. They’d started getting their ducks in a row. Lucas had said he expected a proposal by Christmas. Tommy had- Tommy had fucking loved the guy.

Only to come home one day with a duffel bag full of his clothes, and Lucas telling him it would be best to move out. That the future he and Tommy had talked about was actually not really something he wanted. He essentially kicked Tommy out, disregarding the fact that he had nowhere to go.

He lived in his car for weeks. Showered at work. Took as many long shifts as legally possible, just so he didn’t have to go home. Not when home was his truck. At the very least he had Sal, who let him store his stuff in his garage, but Sal’s and Gina’s apartment was barely big enough for them and their little daughter, so Tommy didn’t even ask to crash with them. He’d stopped Sal before he could offer.

He had a stroke of luck a little while ago. He’d kept this house in his bookmarks for a while. It wasn’t huge, but it was big enough. Tommy had thought he could convince Lucas to downsize a little from his ideas. The house was charming, older, with dark wooden accents and a big, fenced backyard. It had large windows in the back, leaving potential for natural light in the kitchen and living room. It was in their price range.

And then, as he checked over in a moment of masochistic weakness, he’d been shocked to see that the price had gone down massively. Enough that Tommy could justify buying the house on his own. It seemed too good to be true, so he called to ask what the hell had happened.

As it turned out, the house had belonged to an older couple who had wanted to downsize in age. The husband, however, had died recently, and his widow wanted nothing more than to get out of the house she had shared with her love. She just wanted to wash her hands off it. None of their kids were interested in keeping the house.

She wanted to meet Tommy. See whether she would be willing to sell to him. So, he showed up, had tea with her, and listened to her talk about her beloved Harold and the time they had spent together. How now, it was too painful for her, but she wanted to know that her house was in good hands.

She showed Tommy around. There was a bittersweet atmosphere around the house, love hanging in the air. The very foundation of the place seemed to be love, and for a moment, he didn’t feel like he should be here. But Elisabeth smiled at him and asked questions that Tommy could only give vague answers to – about family, and friends, and significant others.

Somehow, Tommy made a good enough impression. Somehow, despite everything, things went as smoothly as possible. It took another couple of weeks for everything to be straightened out, and for the signature of Elisabeth and Harold to be carried out of the house, but then, Tommy stood in the middle of the mostly empty place, now his.

It took another one and a half weeks to move his stuff from Sal’s to the house, and to get new furniture. For a couple of days now, Tommy was able to come home to a kitchen filled with natural light, a large garage, and a front yard that still needed some work. There was stuff missing from his old home that Lucas had kept because Tommy had a horrible taste in men and this guy had turned out to be the biggest asshole to walk the earth. At least Tommy didn’t have a hard time getting over him.

He was more struggling to get over the life he had planned out, the life he had wanted, the life he didn’t get to have. And he was struggling with the loneliness. Coming home to an empty house, knowing there was no-one waiting for him in the kitchen or the living room, and no-one was coming by later to kiss him hello.

He always felt lonely, even when he was surrounded by friends. That’s just how his life went. And he was tired of it.

That didn’t mean he wanted a new boyfriend – hell no, time to stay away from dating for a while. This whole thing really was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Tommy could only handle being told he wasn’t the forever guy his partners were looking for so many times. He needed to take a step back from dating and work on himself, to maybe find some joy in his life without a partner. Since that was the direction it was headed in.

No, he didn’t want a boyfriend. What he did want, however, was a cat.

[continue on ao3]

[charmac]

Cracked recently did an interview with Andrew Friedman (Uncle Jack):

It’s strange they didn’t ask (or did and didn’t reveal) whether he was in Season 17, but there was still some good Sunny info in the article that leads me into some thoughts for the upcoming season, particularly when he was asked how Sunny has changed over the years:

The co-directing mention is interesting, and I wonder if that might be related to Season 17 because there are a lot of first-time Sunny directors this year (and the episodes Andrew did in 16 were directed by long-time Sunny directors)… so perhaps Uncle Jack will be back.

And when he talked about working with Danny, mentioning that up until shooting, he’s off set:

I think we’ve kinda known this is how Danny works (and more-so as the years go on) but I can’t recall getting any harder confirmation than a statement like this that Danny’s double/stuntman is basically on set if Frank has scenes.

Why this is interesting to me is the fact that his double, Mario Munoz, announced that he wrapped Season 17 on November 22. This somewhat pretty heavily implies that Danny wrapped around that time too, and Frank was not in the final scenes they were shooting this week.

We kind of also suspect that Charlie had wrapped a week early as well, due to the lack of beard, so it seems that whatever scenes they shot in the last week, it didn’t involve Charlie or Frank

What does this mean? Well, if they were shooting in order (which is a toss-up, but I will note that both 15 and 16 shot their finales in order) that means the finale of S17 probably has Frank/Charlie fairly separate from Mac/Dennis/Dee (and potentially the Waitress in an old lady costume?)’s plot, and we know the finale is the white board episode from Rob’s Twitter challenge… which seemed Frank-heavy based on what we could make out. So, this potentially means there is a significant B plot there that just isn’t clear from Charlie’s chicken scratch

Or, it could have just been a scheduling thing for Charlie and/or Danny, so they decided to push an episode (or many scenes) that didn’t call for either of them to the end of production.. but it’s still interesting to think about the pairings here, regardless. Probably, more particularly, the fact that unless beardless Charlie Kelly is real, the Waitress’ plot is not with him this season (not that crazy, he didn’t have scenes with her in S15) but instead most likely something to do with Mac/Dennis/Dee

And my insane brain is for some reason beaming Mac’s Banging the Waitress into my head through all of this with this…. But probably just cos I would kill for a reprieve/parallel of that episode

[merrinpippy]

on masks

so shockingly miracle mask has huge mask theming in like every aspect. basically every significant character is 'wearing' a mask literally or metaphorically, except for luke who remarks in ludmilla's costume shop that he doesn't think any of the masks suit him (since the events of the previous game luke can be authentically himself now.) this is fun to notice on its own, but there's more to be discussed than just the presence of masks.

every mask in miracle mask backfires on its wearer to some degree! the most obvious case of this is descole and the masked gentleman straight up underestimating their own mask/s and failing to see their plans to the end, and the resulting consequences. dalston and henry's masks of stoicism turn out to have kept them from years of friendship they could have enjoyed, and paint them both as suspects in the masked gentleman case. angela's aloof facade and distance from everyone around her allows her to be kidnapped for a significant portion of the game without anyone but the professor noticing (and even then, he notices that something's up with her, but chalks it up initially as not knowing her anymore). less obviously, emmy's mask only means she'll end up hurting the people she has come to care for even more when the time comes.

most interesting to me, though, is hershel! even as a teen he's remarkably reserved, though clearly passionate. he keeps himself very controlled, and seems to care very much about coming across to others as helpful, grounded, and 'normal'. the interests that we know he has he keeps locked up, literally hidden away in cupboards, not to be acknowledged aloud to himself or others. he never gets angry or ever really displays any stereotypical teen behaviours apart from awkwardness.

now what this means is he is treated as the reliable one who will nonetheless go along with whatever randall wants him to do. he's never particularly assertive (something he will learn to be as an adult) so his willingness is taken for granted. he's put in mortal danger in akbadain because it never occurs to randall that hershel's protests are anything more than for appearance's sake.

and when randall falls and hershel is alone, he yells! he falls to his knees, completely overcome. he cries. he pushes through. and when he reaches angela and henry, alone, covered in dirt, looking completely haunted... they don't even ask him if he's okay. angela bodily shakes him. in the past and present, nobody treats hershel as if he's been through something traumatic - to everyone else, he was either a bystander to or complicit in randall's death, but controlled, mild-mannered and rational hershel is never considered a victim in his own right even after years have passed for everyone to think on it. years after the fact angela apologises to hershel... when she realises she needs his help. and henry immediately accuses him of betraying randall's memory and abandoning him.

and to be clear this isn't me saying oh they're evil or whatever but it's significant that they acknowledge how the trauma affected them and their behaviour from that point forward but it doesn't occur to them that hershel's behaviour and life trajectory was also altered forever! because hershel has for his whole life masked so well that to everyone else he does not have an interior life that isn't puzzle solving.

and the absolute funniest thing about it is that when hershel confesses this all to emmy and luke.... it's immediately back to the investigation, "where do we go now professor!" i'm sure there's no reason to ask if hershel's okay, he's probably unaffected by all that, let's go! readers i laughed out loud. tfw you mask so well everyone forgets you're a person