#she’s still very much an optimistic person who believes in good!

[rofefetasprite]

fantroll art dump because i love her and i get to post about her a little

[splonk-fox]

The flaws of Jax and Ragatha, and why they matter to Pomni's character arc.

Within the two episodes of The Amazing Digital Circus that have been released so far as of writing this post, there have been two characters who have been given the most attention and depth out of any of the cast (ignoring Pomni obviously), and those two characters are Ragatha and Jax.

The duo consisting of the kindhearted optimist and the meanspirited pessimist have without a doubt become some of the most interesting characters to analyze within this series so far thanks to how much meaningful screentime and character depth they have been given within the the two episodes that we viewers have been fortunate enough to witness with our very eyes.

But why is this? Why is it that these two have received special attention from the writers so far, and what role do they play in Pomni's character journey? Well I believe I may have found the answer, and it's unfortunately one that does not spell a good future for these characters. But to truly understand where I am coming from, we must first understand who these two characters are and how they relate to our main protagonist.

To start off with the kindest of the duo, we have already learned quite a lot about Ragatha thanks to the two episodes she has been featured in so far.

Her most prominent character trait is without a doubt her kindness. She is the first person to really be genuinely nice to Pomni upon her entrance to the circus and spends the rest of the episode showing her around the place and trying her best to help her get settled in.

She's also someone who doesn't like to be overly blunt with her responses, such is shown when Pomni asks how they leave the circus, to which Ragatha, instead of just saying that she couldn't, phrases it in a way that makes it sound as if they simply haven't found a way to leave yet, this was obviously done in an attempt to not freak Pomni out too much, though this doesn't really go anywhere thanks to Jax.

Now that's great and all, Ragatha's a nice person, you can easily observe that through casual watches of the show, looking deeper however, you can see that there is a lot more going on with Ragatha than she would like to make you believe.

Insecurity is another trait that Ragatha has that, while not shown off as prominently as her optimism, is still very important to Ragatha's character.

As we see in episode 2 of the series, one of Ragatha's biggest fears is not being liked. She vents to Kinger about how she feels like Pomni doesn't really like her that much, and that clearly scares her. And why wouldn't it? The end of episode 2 makes it clear that one of the most important things in this show when it comes to keeping the main cast mentally stable, is their sense of community.

They're all in this together, they have each other's backs and will do their best to be there for each other when it's needed. That is what is communicated to us within the second episode through Kaufmo's funeral.

This segment of the episode, while somber in its tone, is also one that instills hope within Pomni and the viewer. Because it shows that despite everything, the circus members do care about each other. That abstraction is something that affects everyone and it isn't something that is just brushed off immediately, which if you recall, was the crux of Pomni's fears as seen at the beginning of the second episode, the fear of being forgotten, the fear of no one caring.

"I don't even remember her name honestly" - Dream Jax.

So with how the importance of community has been firmly established within this show's messaging at this point, it should be no surprise that Ragatha's biggest fear is not having that community. Of people not liking you, of people hating you. So how does Ragatha solve this?

Repression, that's how. Of all of Ragatha's personality traits her tendency to not display her true feelings towards things are without a doubt the most damaging.

The best example of this is how she reacts to Pomni abandoning her for the exit. The pilot would lead you to believe that she was mad at Pomni for doing this, that she didn't trust her anymore because of this selfish act.

And yet, that's all brushed to the side in the following episode. Ragatha is back to her optimistic self and is saying that everything is fine! That it was completely understandable and that there was no bad blood between them. Yet you can tell that isn't the whole truth, that Ragatha really didn't get over what Pomni had done to her that easily.

Now do I think Ragatha hates Pomni or secretly resents her? No, not really. I do think she's being honest when she says that she doesn't hold anything against her for doing this. But that doesn't mean she wasn't hurt by it. We can see clear as day from the pilot that this did affect her, so why does she act like she doesn't?

Because, from her perspective, her feelings do not matter. The only thing that does is to make sure Pomni is able to adjust, to make sure that everyone is happy, that everyone is still somewhat sane within the circus, and so she compromises her emotions in order to do this. Gooseworx has even said it herself that Ragatha often says things she doesn't necessarily mean in order to ease tensions. She doesn't want to cause conflict, she doesn't want people to fight with each other because she understands how important community is to the members of the circus persisting.

Yet in the midst of all of this, what Ragatha fails to realize is that with how she currently handles things, she is paving the way for her own mental break.

Ragatha, in her attempts to be there for others, has walled herself off from others being there for her. By lying about how she really feels about things, by acting as if she is fine, she is not allowing herself the emotional vulnerability necessary for others to be there for her when she needs it.

The closest thing we have had to this so far is with Kinger, and while having someone she feels comfortable enough to lament her feelings around is a good thing, this is one person, one person who is... not exactly mentally stable, to put it lightly. Is not exactly an end all be all solution to her problems.

Kinger being the only person who Ragatha can rely on is only gonna work for a limited amount of time, the more she represses, the more she hides her true emotions and clear mental instability, the closer she is to meeting a cruel fate, one that no one would be able to save her from because no one even realized there was something wrong with her. For in her pursuit to make everyone else happy, she has sacrificed her own happiness, as a result.

And then there's Jax.

Jax, in a lot of ways, is pretty much the polar opposite of Ragatha. While her leading trait is kindness, Jax's leading trait is being a complete and utter asshole. And while Ragatha is all about answering things in a roundabout way to ease stress, Jax is all about the blunt answers.

This is best shown to us in the pilot when, in the same scene where Ragatha tries to answer Pomni's question of "how do I leave?" in a way that wouldn't stress her out too heavily, Jax goes straight in with the "you can't". Jax is a pessimist, he has accepted that there is no way out, and is simply riding things as they go by.

Jax's leading character trait is all about causing as much chaos as he can for the sake of his own satisfaction. He doesn't care about how others feel, the only thing he cares about is causing as much chaos as possible simply because he can.

Yet that isn't all that's going on with Jax, there's something deeper here, something more complex.

When it comes to the scenes everyone points to when saying that Jax has a lot more going on with him than meets the eye, the scene where he reacts to Kaufmo's funeral is the one everyone looks at with an analytical lens, and that's for a good reason.

For I think this little scene might just tell us a lot more about Jax than we think.

One thing that I've come to notice about Jax's brand of chaos is that it's very reliant on others' reactions. All of the chaos he causes, all of the absurd and awful things he does are for the sake of seeing how others react. From throwing Pomni over the side of a truck and attempting to use her as a human bridge, or literally everything that he does to Gangle, it's all reaction-based, and that made me realize that, despite how selfish and uncaring he acts towards everyone else, community is still the one thing that truly matters most.

He needs the others so that they can react to his hijinx, as they are what give said actions meaning. If he had no crowd to watch as he acts like a shitty person, then he has no reason to do anything. But that is also where Jax's true character flaw comes in, his selfishness.

With how Jax is constantly pushing others around for the sake of his own amusement, Jax is very clearly a self-centered person. He is someone who is in it for himself and no one else. Who cares if others don't like him? Who cares if others despise him? As long as he gets to see funny things happen to people, he is gonna be okay.

But what happens when that method is no longer effective? What happens when the others don't give him the reaction he wants? What happens when he can no longer use chaos as a way to distract from the pointlessness of his reality?

Well, as scary as this may be to think about, Jax won't really have much of anything to fall back on. His cruel actions have wrote him into a corner. No one likes him, that much is obvious. And while Jax seems content with this now? What happens when he is put in the position of needing someone else's help?

Well, then he'll have no one, and it's ironically for the exact opposite reason to Ragatha. Ragatha's problem is that she is constantly repressing her emotions, despite the fact that she has people who care about her, she doesn't open up to them because in her eyes, her feelings are secondary to others'.

Yet Jax is the opposite, he's honest, he is self-centered, and that's also why he is one of the members who are in this most danger.

In a show that seems to be about how important community is and how important it is to stay together and be there for each other? To have a character who is the complete opposite of that. To have someone who doesn't care about others, who won't be there when someone else is hurting. To have someone who is actively making things harder for everyone... that just spells out demise.

Jax's true weakness is that he does not have a community who will be there for him when he needs it, he was never there for others so why should they be there for him? Meaning that when Jax is at the end of his rope, crying out for help, no one will listen, because as cruel as it sounds, most of the members would probably be happy that he's gone.

While this does admittedly rely a bit on speculation, I think what I've stated above might be the true reason for why Jax looked sad for a moment when the other characters were talking about the funerals held for those who have abstracted. Because in that small moment, he realizes he might not get a funeral of his own when he "dies", or if he did, no one would really have anything nice to say about him.

And that fear, that knowing of how the way you've built yourself up by putting others down has lead to everyone hating you, to everyone not having a single good thing to say about you... that is terrifying. And yet he hides it, he walks away, he refuses to attend the funeral because then he will have to be confronted with the uncomfortable reality of the fact that he won't die as someone who was remembered for doing good things.

The only thing he'll be remembered for, is how much everyone hated him. And all of that brings us right back, to Pomni.

I said at the beginning of this post, as well as with the title itself, that Ragatha and Jax matter to Pomni's character arc, but why is this? Sure they're both main characters so obviously they're going to influence her journey going forward, but how exactly does any of this matter to Pomni? It's simple really.

Ragatha and Jax represent two extremes, they represent what happens when you lean too far in one direction. In one case, it is caring too much about others and not caring about yourself, and in the other, it's caring too much about yoursef and not caring about others.

Pomni has already shown traits of both Jax and Ragatha. She has shown an empathetic, kindhearted side as seen in her interactions with Gummigoo, and she has shown a selfish side, as seen when she abandoned Ragatha for the "exit" in the pilot.

Pomni has shown herself to be both selfish and selfless. But what part of her matters more? Simple answer, both. It is important to care about others while also taking time to take care of yourself. Ragatha and Jax show what happens when you forget to do one of these things.

By always taking care of others, you're forgetting to take care of yourself, and by always taking care of yourself, you fail to take care of others. To find a healthy balance is to do both. To be aware of your own mental health while also making sure that others are doing okay too. And this is something that Pomni will need to realize if she is going to make it in the circus.

And this is where Jax and Ragatha become important. I believe these two will show Pomni how important it is to keep a balance of things. To not lean too far in one direction, as if you do, it spells bad news for you either way. And how will this be communicated to her and the audience?

Abstraction.

Think about it. If Ragatha and Jax's harmful practices continue without change and they end up abstracing because of it, that will be a wakeup call to Pomni, it will show her the flaws of being too selfless, and too selfish. Is it an extreme way to communicate such message? Sure, but it's also one that can't be ignored.

We, the audience, and Pomni, would see first hand the consequences of leaning too far in either direction, that if you don't find a balance, you will end up like Jax and Ragatha did.

And that's why I think these two in particular have been given so much screentime and attention these past two episodes. Because they are meant to show us the most extreme versions of Pomni's most prominent character traits.

The ability to care about yourself, and the ability to care about others.

Of course, I might be wrong in this assessment. We are far too early in the show's runtime to truly predict any big events like this. But from a narrative standpoint, I believe this interpretation makes the most sense in the way of showing us the audience, and Pomni, what truly matters. It's not just about you, it's not just about others, it's about both.

Thank you for reading.

[jozlyn-moon]

The Cipher Twins

Ford’s Journal Entry:

(It’s long! And one of the first Journal Entries I’ve gone fully into making!)

“How and Why that devil managed to “conceive”, and I use this term loosely, is beyond me. Especially when it’s taken in mind how careful with planning he chooses to be. But the outcome of two children that share such gains of his power is.. well- reckless, but that does give us a view that he isn’t as on his game as much as he once was, which in my eyes shows as a beacon of hope. Continuing though-

These two have been an eye opening pain in the ass to deal with in all the years that they’ve had to be in my life… and that’s saying quite a bit. From the oddities that sprout from their father’s genes to the oddities that come from each of their unique personalities that stem from their own special quirks, to study them has been an experience. Though, if I shouldn’t lie.. I may have chosen a favorite of the two for one reason or another and even if either manages to get a hand on my writing their opinion would not much matter in the end.

To begin on the first, Lily Cipher, a rambunctious but albeit pleasant kid to be around. An attribute which I could only give thanks to in the mother’s raising of both of the twins which I presumed had fortunately been enough to quell any evil nature that may have been held in her soul. Along with the fact that there had been no contact with the father in her and her sibling’s upbringing. Ignoring that fact- She can be described as a great help around the lab, seeing as age and stress have worn down my ability to keep steady with my motor and cognitive skills… she comes in handy as a shockingly fast learner, but to no surprise really as much as I don’t want to point the praise at where the origin of the ability may have come from, I do have my guesses to who it was passed down from.

She is a very curious and hyperactive child as well, being quite fascinated in the little things and anything that moves, she could only remind me of Mabel in her younger years in the most bitter sweet way possible. I pray for the moment that she’s alright.. but besides that point-

I find that she’s been a large help in also understanding, if not, being able to decrypt the genetics of my enemy, with her ability to shape shift into a form similar to the beings of Bill’s late home dimension, flatlanders as they’re called, she has given key samples of skin and DNA that have properties no normal being can handle nor have. I believe she and her brother are direct keys in Bill’s downfall. And while I wish to be optimistic to the outcomes of their existence at the current time, I do hold dread for whats to come. As while I may have positive outcomes with the more sweet hearted sibling… I have trouble describing the short tempered and snide one as such. Liam is another whole pile of bones to dissect but i’ll get to his summary soon enough.

Lily, and what baffles me the most about her, is how something so, well giddy and sweet by nature, can come out of such a creature that can be so, by choice, dangerously and maliciously evil. But then again, that damn triangle had always had his charms at his hand, so it wouldn’t be a complete surprise if that had passed along to his spawn.

And as much as I want to be paranoid of my enemy’s daughter, seeing first hand her grow up with no influence of her father’s morals and presence due to her mother separating from that devil before either of the twins were born- it lets me ponder on the thought of the nature vs nurture theory and how whether or not natures of the parents pass down to the kin and how much it actual effects their psyche.

Albeit with Lily, she works on her own will with a good moral stand point and natural urge to uplift others in sometimes slightly odd but endearing ways. Though i’m afraid that it’s her brother that leaves me still questioning the nature vs. nurture stand point, as I couldn’t say the same completely for her twin.

Liam Cipher, a more reserved kid but leaning on socially aloof by choice, is one who leaves me sleeping with one eye open. Literally. Seemingly gained the temper of his father along with a slew of other worrying traits that I would rather not be in the presence of while someone has lit his fuse. He is the sole reason why I had to ban or at the least limit the use of both of their magic to the mundane and simple party tricks after an incident with him that cost me half my sight with a fit he threw when he was younger.

Though as his mother insists to me greatly, it’s not the child’s fault for the traits he was born with, he can’t help himself she claims. And while true to some extents I can’t help but feel the dread towards the thought of another Bill like being sprouting due to the “freak accident” of them being somehow made into existence. From the personality to even the damn voice that the kid shares with himself and his devil of a father, I can’t just shake off the feeling of a tense shiver that always crawls up my back when thinking of him growing older.

The only saving grace, and what calms my already paranoid nerves falls upon the ones I could think have a good hand in quelling those unsavory traits, the one’s I label the family buffers. I.e his mother, sister, and at times the cousins that are there to talk him down out of a potential blow out. I couldn’t even dare muster the thoughts to wonder what he’d turn to if his mother nor his “siblings”, if I could even loosely consider the cousins as such, weren’t there to quell his snappy nature. But for the sake of my cortisol levels, I can’t let those scenarios overcome my already racing thoughts because I have enough to deal with now in taking care of both of the twins that have been enough of a hassle on my growing age.

Liam for the most part has made it clear that he has a distaste for me, I believe sprouting from my coldness towards his mother for being deceptive at the beginning of our begrudging guardianship over the kids. And he places it as if I have no good reason, if it wasn’t clear that I have some bother that hiding the children of that damned demon under my nose with what current family I have left wasn’t something to not be chastised for. Not to mention that her withholding from the implicit truth had allowed me and my great great niece and nephew to harbor an attachment to the twins which if I had known before hand their origin… would not have ended well for her.

But I am not heartless, I do understand the fears that may have accompanied the weight of telling the truth at the time. And I’ve learnt that I shouldn’t be one to not swallow my pride and say I know I would have probably acted rashly. But as someone who freshly lost what family they had left at the time I feel as if it would’ve been just.

I don’t hate either of them, even while one may be more a pain in the ass than the other. I do believe I care for them in some sense. Liam is a help to me greatly, I won’t downplay that factor at all, he’s the one that helps me draw in the newer journal entries and goes out to scout with Chloe to do some cartography of the surrounding landscape. A quirk he seems to be great at with a sense of great direction and keen eyesight, something even younger me couldn’t get down right away. My body can only do so much these days as I’ve already made my point earlier that my hands and even now legs can’t do what they did often like they used to.

He’s smart, more smart than he gives himself props for, he knows how to channel a certain charisma and silver tongue that lets him find the best supplies, of course if it isn’t the case that he had stole them in the first place. And like his sister, there is no second thought to where he got that ability from, but it’s better to not dwell on it, just for my sake at least.

Both are a handful in their own ways, but they have grown on me- and they do hold insight in how we may be able to stop weirdmaggedon once and for all.

And I pray that it can be in time.”

(If you made it down here thanks for reading it! I want to make sure I have Ford’s characterization down to some extent 😭 My grammar may not be all that great but I tried lol)

[jasperhaleobsessed]

I have a rq!!

A platonic Emmett x friend!reader who he learns has the same last name he had when he was human (McCarty), and the same dimples as him.

Turns out, she’s like a great-great-great niece or smth and how they talk ab it n how he explains all the vampire stuff and they become besties!!

Notes: Sorry, I know this is really short compared to my other fics!! also thank you for your patience, I really appreciate it! But I hope you still like it! 💗

Warnings: None!

Emmett Cullen x platonic!reader!

"I can't believe you're my great, great, great niece! That's awesome!" You laughed showing your dimples.

Emmett smiled as well, "And you've got my dimples as well!"

You couldn't believe it either. You had a great, great, great uncle who happened to be a vampire. You'd never thought when you moved to Forks that you'd make a lot of friends let alone family. You still couldn't quite fathom the idea that he was a vampire. It was kind of crazy. You were still processing the information he had told you but you gladly welcomed him, with open arms. And he did as well. You'd met his family and for the most part they were welcoming as well.

They were sweethearts except for a few who were a little more closed off. But you didn't take it personally. You couldn't blame them. You couldn't help but feel emphatic of them as well. They were vampires who strived to be good and care for humans and the bloodlust must be difficult even after multiple decades. It seemed to be a difficult task and for that you wouldn't blame them or have any ill will towards them. You knew if you were a vampire you'd want somebody to be understanding of your predicament.

It warmed your heart knowing even after he couldn't be with his family he had grown up with he found a family and people who loved and cared for him. It was also delightful to know he found someone special in his after life or vampire life? You weren't sure how to refer to it but you were just happy for him that's all you know.

She hadn't been the most welcoming but you tried to not take it to heart or too personally. She seemed to care for Emmett quite a bit so you tried to think optimistically rather than negatively.

He then explained that they sparkle like diamonds. They freaking sparkle! You could barely believe it!

"Wait you sparkle like, like actual sparkles." He nodded. "Wow." You said mouth agape in shock.

Carlisle intervened, "Yes but you need to understand you cannot tell anyone about this or else our family could be endangered." You completely understood you wouldn't want to cause them problems especially to your own family. And to you it didn't make sense why you would tell anyone else this wasn't your secret to tell, it's not your business you're not going to go off and tell people.

"She won't, don't worry." Edward answered before you could say anything.

You were confused, "How do you know I won't?" He raised his brow, "I just mean you don't seem like someone who is very trusting of someone they just met."

"I'm not. I can read your mind." he said bluntly.

"What?" You asked. Emmett laughed at your expression. "Okay I wasn't expecting that." You said, surprised.

'I don't think anyone does, dear." Esme says warmly. "True." You said. You turned your wrist to look at the time, "Oh shoot look at the time, I have to go. It was amazing meeting you all, Thank You so much for having me."

"You're welcome." Esme and Carlisle said.

Esme gave you a warm smile while Carlisle shook your hand. Alice gave you the gentlest hug she could while being excited. While Jasper simply nodded. Edward didn't say much and Rosalie followed suite. But Emmett gave you a bear hug and twirled you around. You in that moment decided that he gave the best hugs in the world. You couldn't help but laugh and you thanked him, sweetly. A warm feeling spread in your chest as you left the Cullen household.

[spenceragnewfics]

THE INTERN | Chapter One

Spencer Agnew x Younger!Intern!Reader

TW: None

Word Count: 1.9k

Description: Y/N has been a fan of Smosh since they could remember. Now about to enter their senior year of college, they get an opportunity to be an intern at the Smosh Office and their first day has arrived.

Every new job comes with stress. You never know what is going to happen. You could have awful co-workers, creepy or mean bosses, and horrible workloads pushed onto you by lazy co-workers, the list is infinite. 

The stress comes even more when it’s something that could become your first job in the real world. Internships are a major stepping stone in any college kid’s career, it’s the start of being over with college and being a person in society.

That’s all that is racing through Y/N’s head as they look at the studio in front of them. Many people would consider them lucky with their internship. You see, Y/N is a long-time fan of Smosh, a very popular YouTube channel, and was somehow able to get an internship with the company for the summer.

They didn’t know exactly where and who they would be working with, except for knowing that their main job would be helping with social media. Looking at their phone, it shows that they still have ten minutes until they should be there but the anxiety was killing them too much to be any later.

Taking a deep breath, they grip onto the bag on their shoulder and walk to the front door. Pushing the button, they wait until a voice comes over the speaker, “Hi, how can I help you?” They lean down to be face-level with the camera. “Umm, I-I-I’m Y/N L/N. I’m the new intern.” Their voice comes out nervous, hoping they didn’t get the days confused or anything. They read the email what felt like a million times to make sure they were right.

“Yes! Alright, come on in! I’ll meet you at the door.” They hear the door unlock and push it open. Walking into the cool space, the heat from the outside slowly starts to melt from them. Looking around, the office looks much cooler in person. A lot of it is familiar but some things are new or haven’t been shown in videos.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” A gentle voice says, pulling them from their daydream to look at the woman in front of them. The short Filipino woman standing in front of her is smiling kindly, “I’m Selina. Welcome to Smosh.” The woman sticks her hand out for Y/N to shake.

“I’m Y/N, which you already knew, and I know who you are. I’ve been a fan of the channel for a long time. That sounds creepy though, I’m so sorry.” They say while shaking her hand, thankfully the woman has a good sense of humor and is laughing. “It’s not creepy at all. I knew it would come with being in some videos. It’s always cool to meet fans. This must be like a dream for you.”

“Yeah, honestly, the whole process felt like a major dream. I can’t believe I’m here. I had my friends dump cold water on me when I got the email about me getting the internship. It was dumb but helped make sure it was real.” They confess as they play with their hands. Nerves still being the main thing Y/N is feeling.

“I can tell you're nervous. Don’t be. I promise, this place is very chill and the people are amazing. As long as you are willing to work, you’ll fit in well here.” Selina says, comforting the nervous mess that is in front of her. “Thank you, so where do I go?” They ask after taking a deep breath.

“Well, I will give you a tour, and then when we get done with that we will go to the conference room and you will meet some of the people you’ll be working with and some of the higher-ups. That does include Ian and Anthony.” Y/N perks up a little, their mood becoming more optimistic by the second because if everyone is like Selina, then this will be the best time ever.

They follow Selina as she takes them around the office. It’s very empty because it’s a shooting week so most of the office is helping with filming stuff. She got to see all the different pods and meet some of the office-focused staff like Emily, Josh, Peter, and Marcus. 

Once the tour is over, the two head back to the front so Y/N can go to the conference room. “And that over there is the conference room. That’s where we do most of our big meetings and important stuff. That concludes the tour, if you have any questions please don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Thank you so much, Selina. I will keep that in mind.” Y/N says, slightly laughing as the two walk to the conference room. “Now this is where I must leave you. I am very excited to be working with you.” She says, giving Y/N a comforting squeeze on the arm before walking away.

Turning to the door, they can see a few people in the conference room. All people They recognize. Tommy, Alé, and Zoe are the only ones in there so far. Taking a breath, they open the door with a kind smile, “Hello, I’m Y/N L/N. It’s nice to meet you.” They say as they walk in, catching the attention of the room.

“Oh, you scared me! I didn’t expect you already, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Zoe.” Says the blonde woman, walking over to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you, as well.” They say as they walk to the table. “I’m Alé, welcome to Smosh. You impressed us with your interviews and work.” The CEO says and it makes their heart soar.

“That means a lot. Thank you.” Alé gives them a kind smile before they turn to Tommy. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you fellow social media person,” he says, a little hint of amusement in his voice. “It’s nice to meet you as well. I’m so excited to be here, honestly. This is a dream.”

“Okay, you don’t have to butt kiss anymore. You’re already in.” He jokes, making Y/N laugh. “It shouldn’t be too much longer until the rest are here. I think they’re finishing a shoot.” Alé says and Y/N sits down. They look around, not knowing where to sit. “I won’t bite, I swear,” Tommy says, patting the seat next to him.

They sit next to him and put their bag on the table. Pulling out their laptop and tablet, Y/N opens up the important stuff that holds their digital work, video ideas that her advisor said could come in handy, and some examples of videos she’s worked on for her classes.

A few minutes pass with the groups sharing small talk until the door opens. Looking over, Y/N feels nervous all over again as Ian and Anthony walk into the room with Erin D. walking in behind them. “So sorry, we’re late. The rest are coming in soon.” Anthony says before turning to Y/N.

Their eyes widen when he looks at them, not believing this is real again. “Well hello there, you must be Y/N. I’m Anthony.” He says, walking over with his hand stretched out. “I know, I’ve been a fan for a while. Thank you again for this, it’s a dream come true.” They say as they shake his hand. Ian chuckles while walking over, “We’re glad to have someone so talented on our team. Your work is amazing.” He says, shaking their hand as well.

“That means a lot. Y’all’s videos got me through years and years of homework and projects.” They say, laughing a bit. “Well, we’re glad to have helped,” Anthony says as the door opens again.

This time Shayne and Courtney walk in and behind them is someone who makes her heart race for a different reason. Her breath halts when Spencer walks into the room, dressed in a jean jacket, button-down, rolled jeans, and boots. His curly hair was held back by a cap on his head. 

The three sit down together, across from Y/N and Tommy. “Okay, everyone is here. Thank you all for coming. Today we are welcoming a new addition to our office for the summer. Y/N L/N is coming to us from across the country and is currently in their senior year of college. Welcome, Y/N.” Alé says and the room claps.

Tommy motions for them to stand up, “Uh, hi. I didn’t expect to say anything but I’m Y/N, if that’s not obvious. I’m a social media management and multi-media production major. I’m a little nervous being so far from home but excited to be here for the summer.” They say, a shy smile on their face as they look around the room.

Their eyes stop on Spencer who is looking at them with a soft expression. The kind he has when he’s listening to people, the same one they’ve seen in many videos. “It’s very exciting to meet you, Y/N. Welcome to the team.” Courtney says, a kind smile on their face.

“Yeah, I’m excited to see what you can bring to the games channel,” Spencer says, keeping his eyes on them as they sit down. “Yes, thank you for bringing that up Spencer. Y/N, we have looked at the stuff you’ve done and from what you’ve told us plus input from your recommendations. You’ll be mainly helping with the gaming channel.” Alé says.

“Really? That’s so cool.” Y/N says, a smile bright on their face. “Yeah, so you will work with Tommy and me mostly to get things done,” Spencer says and they nod. “Okay, I think that’s all we have. This was just a meeting for you to get to know a few people, mostly the ones you will be working under.” Zoe says.

“Okay, sounds great.” Y/N says, an optimistic smile bright on their face. Everyone stands up, those who already met Y/N leave while Shayne, Courtney, and Spencer stay behind.

“So, Y/N, what have you done at college besides your degree stuff?” Courtney asks, wanting to get to know the newbie more. “Well, I am a part of my school’s esports team. We’re still kind of new but have done pretty well. I also was on the university paper but I stopped so I could do my internship.” They explain.

“That sounds super cool, you must be a good gamer to get on an esports team.” Shayne acknowledges. “I try, it’s not something I do all the time. Mostly for fun and I kinda joined because of my ex but that’s a long story.” 

“Ah, the things we do for love.” Courtney reminisces, “I think you will fit in great here. I know Trevor will be happy to have someone close to his age.” Spencer jokes. “I’m super excited, this is honestly a dream. I’m not even sure I’m awake right now.” Y/N confesses.

“I think I know how we can break that. Since it’s your first day, you can sit back and watch how things go then we’ll throw you into the deep end tomorrow.” Spencer says, his eyes never leaving Y/N. “Ooo, that sounds scary. Fun, but scary. I like it.” They say, perking up and putting their bag on their shoulder.

Courtney laughs as they wrap their arm around them, “You are gonna be perfect here.” They say as they all walk out of the conference room.

[imdedinsidex-x]

Working on a Hazbin rewrite that I’m dubbing The Bed and Betterment Project. Some info about everything so far under the cut!

-Charlie is a lot more menacing in this AU, as I imagine her personality is a lot more like Michael from The Good Place. She’s still fairly cheery and seems kind, but she’s willing to remind others of who she is.

-Charlie started the Bed and Betterment Project as a way to see how far sinners could go to get better and improve, or if that’s even possible. This was mostly just something for her own entertainment, but as she gets used to the members of the project she comes to see that maybe they can actually improve, and thus she changes her sights towards redemption and she becomes a bit more optimistic as the show goes on

-Charlie has very unorthodox ways of trying to get the members of the project to rehabilitate by tempting them with their worse vices and making them relieve traumatic events, hoping it’ll push them forward (or perhaps over the edge.)

-Vaggie’s identity as an exorcist is already known by the denizens of hell, as well as by Charlie. In fact Charlie uses that to her advantage, Vaggie taking in the position of the ultimate bodyguard. Her character arc would be largely focused on her becoming her own person, gaining her own hobbies, and loving herself.

-All the exorcist wear mask that cover their true heavenly features, as do Charlie and Lucifer. Adam is the only one who doesn’t really need a mask, but he prefers to wear it.

-Speaking of Adam, he is much more intimidating in this AU, being a bit more serious but still coming off as affable and laidback, maybe even a little dumb. But despite his hedonistic tendencies, he still is a force to be reckoned with and can be quite threatening when he wants to be.

-Husk doesn’t have wings anymore. I believe they served no purpose, and instead he is slinky! His limbs and neck can extend to incredible lengths, as a reference to his looseness. And while he doesn’t immediately look like a magician like he did in his previous design, he can still do plenty of magical things in a similar fashion to the Cheshire Cat, being able to disappear and reappear really wherever, but he hardly utilizes this ability anymore.

-Alastor I figured could do with a neat little makeover, both in his casual appearance and in his demon form. I’ve gotten rid of his weird technical stuff and have decided they are instead crooked and sharp antlers he can spawn from wherever. Just as well he can control various radio signals and even create static sound or high frequency screams from his jaws, very much inspired by an elk’s cry.

-I’ve also changed Alastor’s backstory, but that’s something for a different piece.

-Wanted to lean into the blaxploitation inspiration of Valentino, as well as find a good balance of conventionally attractive and gross. I imagine whenever he’s about to say or do something particularly nasty, he pukes up maggots before hand to show off his vile nature.

-Not featured here, but I have ideas for Vox and the seraphims as well, but I’ll save that for another sketch page.

[conniesministallion]

☆☆𝓘𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓟𝓸𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝒫𝒶𝓇𝓉2☆☆

Warnings: Violence! (Rafe/Ward)(Rafe/JJ) Angst!

Pairing: Rafe x Black reader

This is Rafe's POVs

*+:｡.｡　　｡.｡:+*

I cant believe I'm sitting here looking at this man's bald ass head again. Granted I am too but still we both look older than we are. I guess that helps with dealing to older customers. Selling this shit to kooks isn't as easy as selling to pogues. I know I shouldn't be but who the hell is gonna help me when things get hard besides her.

Sofia is eh..ya know somebody, she's help, very caring and optimistic but she still doesn't compare to her.

She however helps me figure shit out, calms me down, she's smart and understands the shit I go through. Plus, besides Barry she doesn't judge the shit I do.

Grabbing the kilo off of the small brown table in front of me. I start packaging it up for the next party we're about to throw at Topper's. He's paying too, especially after we almost got busted last time from some punk who was mad about paying for all the coke he was doing that night.

Turns out his dad is a cop,

That i've already sold to twice.

But of course I had to make an example so I beat his ass.

" Yo, the rest is in the trunk let's just sell this shit and bounce when it's over. I got shit to do, plus I have to get your girl from work." Barry says as he peeks behind the screen door.

Standing up and glaring towards him as I grab my keys, " Not my girl bro just someone I keep around."

" Ya okay country club whatever you say, I don't even treat my best piece like that."

This mf, I swear. Sofia is nothing but a smart lil girl I keep around for a good time. Honestly, it was easy. I mean she's still new to the island and she hasn't been out much. I'm just practicing being a nice person.

I bump past him and head toward the car, tossing the last kilo I had in his arms.

"Shut up and come on".

*+:｡.｡　　｡.｡:+*

I'm sitting here staring at the last message I sent SIX HOURS AGO. Why the hell hasn't she texted me back. This lil girl got me messed up. I know she seen when I asked why Maybank's ass isn't blocked. Realizing I'm shaking I send her another message before I'm interrupted but a high pitch voice.

Soulmate: Stop ignoring me mama and block him. I wanna see the screen recording too.

"Why aren't you paying attention to me Rafey?" Sofia whined to me grabbing my arm and resting her cheek on my bicep.

Sofia. Sofia. Sofia.

So cute, but so very annoying and very fucking clingy. She's not the one I want to cling to me. The one I want is ignoring me on an island where she probably has a boyfriend waiting for her. Just thinking about it is pissing me the fuck off.

" I'm too busy selling Sofia, I got you when I get done. Meanwhile, you wanna line or are you just drinking tonight?"

She starts batting her little eyelashes up at me , "Just drinking but I will have a little line if you don't mine doing it for me."

I sat my phone on the white couch underneath me and grab my black card to start the line for her. I only do Y/N's lines and that's only when she's drinking. Two for one night and only on occasions cuz I'll be damned if my baby end up like how I was. I love her way too much to sit and let that shit happen but her puppy eyes are so cute and we ended up coming up to an agreement.

Two lines every three months, not every party and not every time she gets drunk. I'll know if she gets it from somewhere else but she knows better than to try that shit.

" Here Sofia, it's ready let me know when you want some more." I handed her a rolled up bill and getting up the go talk to Barry.

I already sold my portion and the rest was for the three of us to share when he gets done with his. Topper is talking to Kelce and some red haired chick I've seen around in a corner.

Making my way downstairs and into the living room I spot Barry talking to someone on Facetime while handing a baggie to some dude in a red polo setting his money in the pile on the table.

" It's all good baby, you'll be home soon right? You want me to let him know or you want to just stay with me?"

" I'll come over yours first and we can just go back to his together." The other voice on the phone sounding familiar.

Who the hell is he talking to? I know he doesn't have a girlfriend so the hell??

"Yo who's that? Are you done selling or what?" I sat on the couch next to him and start counting the money in my pocket

"It's ya bestie boo or whatever the hell girly shit she be saying." he said chuckling and handing me the phone.

" Hi baby, I miss you. Even tho you kinda trippin at the moment." Y/n says. Fuck she's so damn cute, I miss her too but why hell didn't she text me back. And why the hell did she call Barry and not me.

" Hey mama, I miss you too but why you ain't texting me back." I ask her.

"I did text you back baby and I sent your toxic ass evidence." She said rolling her eyes at me.

I'm acting shocked knowing damn well.

" I'm not toxic mama just protective and I didn't see the message yet. When you coming home?" I asked her setting the phone on the table to lean against the wad of cash.

" I'm coming back tomorrow love, have my room ready please? Or yours it really doesn't matter. Barry is staying with us by the way, we'll let you know the details later yeah?"

I sit back crossing my arms across my chest and look at Barry. " So when were you gonna tell me about this plan?" I asked him

He shrugged back and took a sip of his drink. " She wanted me to wait until she got back bro my bad."

Before I could respond I feel someone putting their face on my neck. Looking back I see Sofia. Fuck. I haven't told either of them about each other.

" Who's that Rafey your cousin or something?" She said, looking over my shoulder.

I shrug her off and before I even respond, I see Y/n's face turned up and frowning.

" Cousin, oh lord baby. Of course you got a new one while I was away. Just make sure my room is ready and I don't have to teach another one her place please baby and thank you." She said as she put her suitcase down in front of the bed.

" I gotchu mama don't worry see you tomorrow. Say bye to Barry baby." I turn the phone towards him as he waves.

She waved back and smiles hanging up the phone. Rubbing my hands down my face and handing him his phone back.

He smirks and giggles at me clearly being entertained with the situation.

" She's gonna fuck you up country club." Laughing as he threw his head back laughing.

" I'm already knowing."

*+:｡.｡　　｡.｡:+*

<3 <3 <3

A/N: YAAAAAA second part kinda nervous yall lol.

[bat-besties]

People often say Cass’ reason for identifying as nonbinary is “not understanding gender” and while it’s often a joke, I do think it’s the complete opposite to Cass’ knowledge. (I’m using she/her for canon, this applies however and whichever way you headcanon Cass’ gender identity)

I feel it’s often coming from a place of her not understanding language, but gender is so much more than language. A lot of sociologists and gender theorists would kill for the ability to perfectly understand body language and then travel across (at least) China, Vietnam, and the US observing people in urban and rural environments, in both peaceful and violent situations. 

 In many ways, her lack of preconceptions about gender or need for language to shape her observances would make her more able to see the reality of gender performance rather than ideals. The idea that women are weak or men are unemotional would be foreign to her. 

As a child she’s isolated, but she still trains with the League of Assassins briefly. Unfortunately, the first time she is heavily gendered is as a disguise and a weapon in the most traumatic event in her lift, which undeniably shapes her attitude to femininity as this post covers. 

But as she runs, her world suddenly expands to, well, the entire world. 

Her gender identity may have come to words and self-expression in America, but the first place she would be able to really observe people is in south China, likely passing through Guangdong and Guangxi over the course of a year or two. That’s a really formative period, and as I personally think Lady Shiva is from south China (specifically Yunnan), is also unintentionally Cass connecting with her heritage. 

She’s a homeless and very traumatised nine year old, so obviously her experience would have been overall awful. However, a teenage Cass still strongly believes in the sanctity of life and the capacity for goodness in people, and I have to think that while she’s seen a lot of darkness, she’s seen a lot of goodness too. Cass isn’t always curious about things she doesn’t understand (as with her reading), but she has to have been observant to keep travelling and keep escaping from Cain. 

She will have seen the wealthy gamblers of Macau, the street vendors of small-town Vietnam, the pickpockets of Gotham. She will have seen different gender norms across cultures, even if she doesn’t know how each language reflects those norms. She would have to adjust to each new place, and refine her body language reading more generally (like how Americans smile way too much), including gendered readings. 

Cass will have seen a million couples, straight and gay. Pairs of women afraid to hold hands but projecting their nervousness on the first date like a signal. Unhappy marriages hidden by false smiles for the neighbours. Elderly couples where the man still walks on the road side of the pavement.

Considering herself an orphan, she will have seen mothers nursing their babies, fathers pushing their daughters on swingsets, sisters yelling at each other one moment and laughing the next. 

Watching unobserved, she would see all kinds of women in the city. Groups of women going from club to club in high heels, schoolgirls copying each other’s homework on the train, business women in neat makeup and a purposeful walk.  

She will have met other homeless girls like herself. Despite being unable to speak with them she might recognise the guarded set to their eyes, the way they are always poised to run - but they might have a smile for her, and a willingness to share a sheltered spot. They might have cut her hair spiky and short, or taught her to play cat’s cradle.  

Unfortunately, she will have seen predatory behaviour, men who leer or talk with deceptively friendly tones to a little girl alone. (I know she’s meant to “discover” men being attracted to her in the comics as a teen but that’s optimistic). When those men approach other girls, she doesn’t hesitate to protect them. 

But she would have seen so much joy too - boys playing football and grown men joining in, old men sitting on plastic chairs and observing the street together, gangly teen boys play-fighting.

On the streets, clustered and sometimes hidden, she would have seen people whose clothing and body language doesn’t match their bodies. Before Cass knows the words transgender and drag and gender nonconforming, she knows that these people are at risk for being different - at risk like she might be, if she couldn’t convince herself she only needs her fighting skills to protect herself. She wouldn’t need words to take each person as they look to her, to have an amorphous and wordless idea of performativity. 

And then of course, she has Barbara, and Batgirl, and finally language. 

So, I think Cass’ gender identity is something she discovers with the background of this huge tapestry of humanity she’s observed over the years. And if she goes “fuck that it makes no sense”, that’s a deeply informed, nuanced Fuck That. 

[yandere-sins]

Ummm... Not a smutty thought, but I was having a thought and I'd like our resident yandere enthusiast's opinion. You know Raphael (BG3)? Well, a huge chunk of the fandom is obsessed with him and I know many people who want to jump his bones. The only issue with that is... he's only attracted to himself. So, you know, I guess I am asking what you think it would be like if Raphael really did get interested in Tav/Durge? Does he try to change them? Does he mansplain and manipulate his way into making himself sound reasonable? How does the savior of the city even react to their very powerful, very creeping admire?

As someone who is, in fact, obsessed with Raphael (he's probably my favorite character, and yes, my taste is that bad, and I am choosing him over Halsin, I'm so sorry ;;), I can only tell you that even in my daydreams with him, I agree that it's probably not 'love' what he harbors for someone else but merely 'interest'. But people have married for less, so why worry, lol. All he wants his object of interest to be is... interesting. That's what we can give him! xD (And yes, I do believe I can fix him, but if we're talking Yandere!Raphael, even I give up, lol)

Also, I am one chapter into a Yandere!Raphael story, and I had to ask myself these questions, too, so you came to the right place >:3

After establishing my credentials, here is what I was going off on as to how Raphael could even be seen getting a darling:

Raphael isn't above chasing someone. Not necessarily for very long, but he does make quite a few attempts before sending you to hell (hehe). That is if you are interesting enough to chase. So you need to have something that will keep him holding onto wanting to chase you, be it strength, power, or my personal favorite (and yes, my delulu is that this is one of the reasons he is so interested in the Tav), no interest in him. And he has Korilla stalk Tav; let's never forget that. So, he can be interested in someone and make them majorly uncomfortable while at it.

As narcissistic as he is, he likes it when you do what he says. I am sure he's not above wanting to be admired(considering he admires himself so much and what his goals are). He's all about someone raving about how amazing he is, and if they prove to be useful, then their soul is twice as valuable to have. There is value in raising and shaping the object you desire into what you want them to be, even if it takes some effort. (The same could be said about Mizora if I think about it...)

Strictly speaking, Raphael has someone akin to a darling: Hope. And he clearly is amused by and keeps tormenting her. I am not usually one to encourage more than one darling, but I am willing to forgo Hope's darling status and say she'd be an excellent support to a darling because she's so optimistic still? Despite the torture, she seemed pretty courageous. She could influence the darling, which, in turn, makes them more interesting again. The principle is: He did it once, nothing is stopping him from doing it again. And clearly, he can be interested in people other than himself. (Not to say that his darling will always have his full attention all the time only on them, but I do see that he'd have a good reason to come back to the House of Hope to check on them because the thought of them lures him back.)

(There are surely more reasons I came up with, but it's been almost three months since I wrote my story, so I honestly can't remember lol...)

As to what he'd do with them... it depends on what the backstory is like. What he wants from his darling and how his darling reacts depends greatly on the situation. There is always the good ol' "boredom" excuse but in such a big world with so many possibilities there can always be a good reason how he comes into possession of his darling and why he keeps them.

In most cases, I think he'd try to break them, use them for his own means, manipulate them into turning away from what they've known/loved and towards worshipping him, or simply want to see their suffering. It's a matter of what kind of interest he has in the darling.

In some research I did (and sorry, I cannot find the source, and it might be wrong since I'm not really into the DnD lore that much), I read that even if cambions are raised only with the "good" parent, they'd still be evil by nature. So yeah. Maybe he just enjoys watching his darling's dreams and hopes be shattered continuously and watching them slowly crawl back to his feet, asking for forgiveness even if they'll try refusing him again the next day. Or maybe he wants them to make a contract with him by all means necessary.

Overall, it's a big game for him. It's fun. Watching you lose the light in your eyes or cave in and do as he says no matter how degrading it is. Raphael just wants to control you and have his way exactly how he wants it, but he doesn't mind breaking down your resistance piece by piece over a certain amount of time until he has you exactly where he wants you to be and how he wants you to be. It makes things more interesting and you more valuable. And the more you struggle, the better, so do your worst.

Hope I could answer some questions! Many of them depended on the scenario we're working with, but I hope you got the gist! I'm so feral normal about Raphael, but I hope I didn't ramble too much, lol.

[phoenixinthefiles]

Six?...it Only Felt Like Four

Pavitr Prabhakar x reader ❤️...🔸🔷🪻 I hope and pray I got him right @vhstown @daydreaming-en-pointe @1610milesperhour

The incessant ringing of the doorbell shakes you out of your daze.

Your homework could wait. It was only the start of the school year; one rushed assignment could be excused. Plus, now that you focused, the sound of the doorbell was a little rhythmic, which could only mean...

You were glad the only other person in the house right now was napping, no one could make fun of you for the embarrassing mad dash you made to the front door.

You yelled out that you were coming and stopped in the hallway mirror to check your appearance.

good enough.

With that, you open the door to see your boyfriend who has a smile on his face to match yours.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" He exclaims. Your brows immediately furrow, and your eyes follow his as they flicker to his hands.

He's holding a pretty blue and gold box with a ribbon so perfectly tied you know he couldn't have done it himself. It's really nice but...

"It's nowhere near Valentine's Day, that was like six months ago."

His smile doesn't falter.

"Only six months? that's close enough, nothing has really changed."

"It's summer," you deadpan.

"It feels like nothing has changed."

He says it in an airy way like it's just so obvious.

Like he hadn't been complaining about the historically low temperature when you first met this winter.

You shake your head with a small smile.

"We've been together for four months; six months is a long time."

He smiles to smirk, and you prepare yourself for what's coming next.

Here we go.

"My love, I wish us much more than six months."

You scoff incredulously. But He grins with a proud look on his face.

He's still as optimistic as the day you met him.

"Pavi."

"But six months is half a year. Half a year plus half a year is a full year, and a full year from Valentine's Day is Valentines Day.-

"Unless it's a leap year" you interject.

Pav continues as if you hadn't spoken at all, "So, it is basically Valentine's Day Eve. Which means I'm early, and it's after noon so... Happy Valentine's Day!"

He shoves the gift out towards you but instead of taking it, you blink at him dumbly.

"I don't know if I should be more concerned about the mental gymnastics you just did, or the fact that I understood you."

"Don't be concerned at all, you're just assimilating to me."

You grin, "that's concerning."

He rolls his eyes and the head tilting he does causes some of his, insanely perfect, hair to fall in front of his eyes.

Your fingers itch to smooth it back.

"Stop deflecting," he says, a knowing grin forming.

You sigh and your eyes flicker from the gift back to him.

"I didn't get you anything." Your hand reacts on your impulses and you brush back the hair from his eyes. He freezes for a moment and his shoulders rise close to his ears as he smiles warmly.

You return his smile with a far more shy one and the you two stand there, grinning like idiots, until his eyes make their way back down to the gift in his hands and he clears his throat.

"I don't believe receiving a gift is part of gift giving."

"When did you become a dictionary?" You scoff playfully.

"Deflectinggg." he responds in a sing-song voice, tilting the gift box in a taunting manner.

You sigh again and take it from him, "Are you sure?"

"Ayyōṭā, open it."

You run your fingers over the raised decorations on the box. It's a pattern of swirls that almost look like the Mehndi you'd seen Pav drawing on himself. It wasn't as unique though, it was definitely made with a pattern, but the gold brush seemed done by hand.

You squinted and tilted the box around a little.

"Did you do this?"

"The box? no. I did tie the beautiful and symmetric bow."

"Uh huh." You give him your most skeptical look.

He cracks with a roll of his eyes.

"Auntie was very willing to assist me."

"She probably wouldn't have been if she knew you would take all the credit."

"And certainly not if she knew you wouldn't open it."

You glare at him and his stupid charming smile for a minute, before giving in and carefully unwrapping the bow. Opening the lid revealed a hand painted yo-yo.

When you first met he had attempted to impress you by showing the tricks he could do on a yo-yo. It was really corny, but it still drew you in so you didn't have any room to talk.

You gasp and carefully take it out.

"Pav, it's so pretty."

He grins boyishly and his shoulders rise once more.

With the hand not holding the box, you run your fingers over the yo-yo; aimlessly tracing the designs.

"I didn't know you could paint. I mean I know you've done Mehndi but I didn't know the steady hand transferred over."

"Mehndi," He responds, mocking your pronunciation.

You roll your eyes and he laughs softly.

"Painting is easier; there's no possibility of Aadhya carrying out her threats when my hand cramps."

A giggle bubbles out of your lips, more out of nervousness than amusement, because his becomes a little too soft as he smiles at you.

His personality is so infectious, he lights up and practically glows when he smiles, and when he turns that radiance on you?

Your heart practically sings in affection.

"I'm happy you like it."

"Of course I do, it's amazing. But it might be a bit too much for someone who's only just learned walk-the-dog."

"It's a very impressive walk-the-dog. I was fooled!"

"That's not as big of a compliment as you think."

He rolls his eyes and mumbles something but you barely hear it, focusing on the yo-yo in your hands instead.

Before you can second guess yourself, you throw your arms around him.

He lets out a small squawk, but his arms immediately come to wrap around you.

It's insanely probably ridiculous to be so happy over something so seemingly inane.

But it's Pav, nothing he does is meaningless. A hand-painted yo-yo because you learned one trick?

It wasn't ridiculous when it came to him.

He's a constant positive, he's stunningly stunningly soft-hearted, and he listens to you ramble about the littlest things. As evidenced by your new gift.

He's your valentine.

Just six months too early.

[saunteredserpent]

I don't want Aziraphale and Crowley to become human, when all is said and done, in the finale of series 3 and the show as a whole. Because it's

in my personal opinion going against who they both are in terms of who they've both been all along, and

not at all what they deserve for an ending to begin with.

Most specifically, Crowley.

Hear me out, because I was just talking about this with a good friend of mine.

It is stated, verbatim in the book itself, that "Crowley [is] an optimist." Now granted, sure, that the sentence following that one also mentions him being an optimist strictly in terms of believing the universe itself will always turn out in his favor; that "he [will] come out on top; that the universe [will] look after him".

Is this arguably selfish of him? Maybe. But we'll (probably) come back to that. If not, and I forget to circle back to it in this particular post, I'll probably just talk about it in a different post later on.

That being said: buckle in, because not only did I just talk about this with a good friend of mine, but I'm fairly certain I talked her ear off about it as well. I have a feeling the rest of this post might possibly get lengthy, so I'm putting it under a readmore as a courtesy to the rest of you. you're welcome xoxo /lh

Crowley is a demon, right? An optimistic demon, who loves listening to Queen, and driving his Bentley, and collecting plants, and drinking wine and Talisker whiskey, and indulging in spy thrillers, and watching humans fall in love (this last one I DEFINITELY will come back to), sure... but still a demon nonetheless. I mean for fucks sake, one of his very first assignments as one, is to "get up there and make some trouble" — 'up there' being the Garden of Eden, and 'make some trouble' being, arguably, to tempt Eve.

I say 'arguably' because as far as I know, we don't... actually know that he was really told to tempt her in the first place. For all we know, 'make some trouble' could have meant anything. It could have meant 'tempt the first woman into disobeying her creator', sure. Or it could have meant causing rain clouds to downpour over a garden where no rain had yet fallen, and in doing so ruin that perfect little image of paradise. Or it could have even meant terrorizing the other animals in his Serpent form.

It could have meant any of those things, and more.

I believe Crowley chose temptation, for a reason — and hear me out: I believe said reason in him choosing to tempt the first humans into a little rebellion, a little disobedience in learning right from wrong after all, actually has to do with why he, himself, was cast out.

Unless I'm remembering wrong we haven't actually been given the reason Crowley was cast out; but our best educated guess, as a collective fanbase, is that he was given such a punishment for daring to ask questions. For wanting to know things. And I won't say this next thing is a good thing of him to have done so, per se, in terms of potential pettiness and whatnot, but.

What if Crowley tempted Eve into wanting to gain the knowledge she did... all because he was denied answers, himself? All because when he wanted to know things, himself, he was also punished? I don't know if anyone else has brought this up as an arguable point already — please free to point me in the right direction if they have — but Crowley being cast out for knowing, but doubting and/or wanting to know more things could very, very much be a direct parallel to Adam and Eve being cast out for possibly having doubts and/or questions, themselves, on top of having gained new knowledge they weren't supposed to have gained in the first place.

What if this very first little temptation of his (and again, I'm not saying it's a good thing, per se) was also the first means of him finding a connection with humanity, despite his position and nature as a demon?

Because as we move on, over the course of the next several thousand years, Crowley remains on Earth almost the entire time, only reporting back to Hell whenever he absolutely needs to; otherwise, at least as far as we've been shown, avoiding Hell if he can help it. He remains on Earth — by doing so, acting on self-indulgence by partaking in the many delights and pleasures (and even some of the vices) that humanity ends up having to offer.

Not only that, but in doing so he as an immortal demon also allows himself the joy of watching us, humanity as a species, evolve, grow, adapt, and change, every step of the way... and in doing so, falls in love with us, humanity, as a whole. He falls in love with us (though of course in a much different way than he falls in love with a certain angel), and all we have to give.

Crowley, as a demon, watches us, as humans, in everything we come up with, in everything we invent, and also watches us in everything we do — the bad and the good, for all of the above.

He watches us hate. He watches us go to war with each other, and destroy each other and ourselves, over the thousands of years. And I like to imagine that, frankly, it always breaks his heart watching us do so.

However—

I also like to imagine that at the same time it's broken his heart watching us destroy, and hate, every time, it's given him happiness and hope watching us not only create and fall in love... but also inspire.

I like to imagine that for the latter, specifically, we've not only brought him hope that things can and do get better (because at this rate he's seen it all from us) — but also that we've inspired him as well.

Because what if that's the beauty of it. What if it's him having fallen in love with humanity not only for the little things and little gestures that we have come up with and invented as a whole that have brought him, as a demon, joy — but also the thoughts and feelings, the sheer number of complex emotions, we've over the course of our very existence become capable of rendering not out of each other but also out of him as an entirely different being.

What if we're the reason he's an optimist in the first place.

What if all of that is the other big part as to why Crowley, alongside Aziraphale, was against Armageddon in the first place. Not just the material things we've invented that he enjoys — but everything we've made him feel for himself, and inspired him with.

Of course none of this is to say that it isn't or can't be the same to be said of Aziraphale. I'm more than convinced that he has also been inspired by us, and felt several emotions of his own, in watching us over the thousands of years.

My point for this post is specifically about Crowley, because in my opinion, as stated already... is what if he's not only connected with us all along, but had somehow found a (albeit, arguably, flawed) way to connect with us from the very start, and will continue to do so?

I don't want him and Aziraphale to become human because I feel that in having been given the opportunity to fall in love with and feel inspired by humanity, and all the ways we've grown, and all we've ever had to offer, as a whole, they also deserve the opportunity to continue to fall in love with us, and continue to be inspired by us.

TLDR; if they're written off as either willingly giving up or being stripped of their immortality in the end, then sure, yes, that's them being provided the opportunity to grow old together and pass on together., etc etc etc. Arguably, that could make for a decently happy ending in and of itself. But. That's ALSO them being robbed of the opportunity to, for the rest of humanity's existence, continue to watch us grow, and to continue to appreciate us and all we've ever been capable of inventing, and will continue to invent, as well as any and all other things we also become capable of causing them to feel as time passes — all while we ourselves, proceed to evolve and grow, and create, and love, even more as a species.

And being robbed of getting to continue to witness such a thing out of humanity isn't what they, in my opinion, deserve.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, y'all. xoxo ✌🏻✌🏻

[dysfunctional-doodle]

Just watched Mutant Mayhem, here are my thoughts!

Overall: Yes, very good I suggest everyone watch it when they can or I will break your knees :)

I’m going to end up rambling far too much unless I split this properly, so I’m going to break it down into sections starting from what I believe is most important in a movie.

This post is still going to be a mess ngl

Story: 8/10

The story is actually very good! It was paced very well and ended in a very touching way. No character interactions or plot beats felt forced or cliché, and no forced identity politics which is always a plus.

The action scenes - of course they were amazing. Paired with the stellar animation, each action scene was brilliantly directed and choreographed. The start shows the turtles’ origin story is similar to most of the iterations with its own unique factors - in this case the ooze was created by Baxter Stockman.

The conflict of the plot was well written, the final act was great and ends with a hopeful and satisfying ending (there is a mid credit scene that teases something big for the series though!).

If it’s any consolation, it’s also very friendly to new fans of TMNT - I went with someone who has not seen any TMNT media before and they really liked it and understood it easily.

Characters: 9/10

Needless to say, all the characters were very well done. Despite its run time and large cast, each one feels grounded with their own unique personality.

For starters: the four main boys! They were done brilliantly - Mikey being hopeful and optimistic whilst naturally being empathetic, Raph channeling chaotic good energy with his iconic rage personality not being over the top, Donnie being a geek in the best way possible, and Leo trying to be a good leader and anxious, always looking out for his brothers but not a complete teachers pet. All very likeable, and I can’t wait to see them in the series!

Splinter: probably the best since 2003! Openly caring of his sons and worries a great deal about how humans will perceive them. Has his own trauma from his experience with humans so he tries to protect his sons by isolating them completely, but eventually realises that his own view of humans should not affect his son’s happiness and lets them fulfil their dream of trying to be accepted by humans even if he will never like humanity himself. Peak character development, 10/10.

Villain/s: all of them felt fleshed out and I look forward to seeing them in the series! Posed their own genuine threats with varying levels of morals. Again, all were fleshed out quite well and played a role in the story.

April: honestly, she didn’t have too much in it compared to the others but does play a key role in the final act and the ending itself. An interesting iteration of April, curious to see more of her.

Animation: 10000000/10

It was brilliant. What else can I say? Though inspired by Spider-verse it is its own style which is amazing to look at. It thrives in action scenes and landscapes. Another groundbreaking style that I hope to see influence others.

Music: 8/10

It slaps. Almost all of them I will be playing for the next week or so. The soundtracks really set the mood beautifully, especially the sombre track. Paired with the animation - ugh - chefs kiss

Overall Rating: 8/10

I am usually very very harsh with films, so for me to rate anything above a seven is basically unheard of. Probably my favourite movie of 2023, and my favourite TMNT movie. 2003 only just beats it overall but that’s mostly because I’ve known it for longer - who knows, a few more rewatches and it might overtake.

[papastarion]

Papastarion Headcanons

Because I have been plagued by visions of Astarion with a dhampiric horde of children for the past few weeks, and now I must inflict it on others. (These are based in my own personal canon for the postgame, so Thea = Tav.)

He’s initially terrified of the idea of having a child, but he plays it cool, because of course he would. Dhampirs are uncommon, and he worries about losing the love of his life if something happens. Having someone else to lose now, too, doesn’t make it any easier to turn his mind back to rational thinking.

Once the idea settles, gods help everyone. He’s proud as a peacock, and cautiously optimistic about this new part of his future. It helps that he’s known how badly Thea has wanted a family for almost as long as he’s known her. He just never thought he would be able to give it to her, and he can’t quite put into words how grateful he is that she didn’t have to give it up for him, after all.

It also helps that they’ve been functional coparents to their adopted daughter (my friend’s Tav) since they met the girl post-nautiloid. As far as he and Thea are concerned, she’s just as much theirs as this one is.

She’s not their only adopted child, either. While Thea is pregnant with their first biological child, they also end up adopting a newborn Mephistopheles tiefling they name Mina. She’s the biological daughter of Thea’s ex-husband, in fact. When Thea finds out said ex plans on doing away with his newborn child to hide the fact that his family has made deals with devils, she and Astarion jump in to take the girl.

Dalyria is also a major help. Research on dhampirs is limited, so not only does she get to add to the woefully limited information with her own observations, but she also gets to be there for her brother and Thea, who she’s become good friends with. As a druid, Thea likes to discuss medical herbology with Dalyria while Dalyria likes to teach her more complex medical skills. Dalyria is also the one who delivers all of their children. Thea and Astarion don’t trust anyone else like they trust her when the time comes.

If Astarion thought Thea was the most beautiful person in the world before, then there’s no word for what he thinks of her over the course of her pregnancy, and after.

The first time he holds their firstborn, a boy they name Nero, he’s smitten. As far as Astarion is concerned, he’s perfect. He never wants to let him go. It takes him a while to reconcile the fact that he could have had any part in making someone so innocent.

He loves taking catnaps with his kids, especially while they’re still really small. They’re so warm and the feeling of them tucked against his chest, completely trusting of him, never gets old.

He was never one to give much thought to children before Thea. He never really considered having his own, especially not after Cazador. But he’s the type to think his kids are perfect and everyone one else’s should be like them. Very proud dad.

He’s very protective, too. Nothing could stand between him and protecting his family. He’d tear down Faerûn if it would keep them safe. However, he doesn’t keep them out of all trouble. He can be quite the partner in crime when it comes to pranks.

I refuse to believe they don’t find a way for him to walk in the sun again. He loves traveling as a family. They definitely have their place they call home, but there’s too much world to stay in one place, and he wants their children to see it all, too.

Dhampir teething is a nightmare. They’re already miserable about the whole ordeal, but it gets worse once their fangs start to come in, too. He tries to make sure if they’re going to bite, they’re biting him, not Thea or one of their siblings.

He tells the best bedtime stories, hands down. It’s because his voice is so animated.

He and Thea have a total of seven children to their name - their two adopted daughters and five biological children. He’s never less awestruck about how his life has turned out, not by Thea or by their children. The irony of the total coming out to seven is not lost on him.

[thoseyoulove]

Just finished Part I of The Vampire Lestat and here are my first impressions (I skipped IWTV *for now* since the show has already covered it... I'll read it eventually):

I can't tell yet if I like it or not.

So far, I enjoy the concept and the characters seem to be compelling. In terms of eventfulness, there hasn't been much, but I do have some interest in these people. They all appear to be complicated and have a lot of baggage, which I guess makes them appealing and gives the story potential. Let's see where this goes.

I don't hate, but I also don't love Anne's writing style. I don't think she narrates and describes things very well, she lingers on stuff I don't care that much for and doesn't provide details on things I'm actually curious about? There are some abrupt changes that annoy me sometimes as well.

I do believe this might be an attempt to get ourselves in the mind of Lestat and how he process to the world around him, though? It would make sense considering how chaotic he is.

Another thing I like is how he got so obsessed with the 20th Century, music and theater. The descriptions really give me the idea of someone experiencing the world for the first time (in a while) and considering how isolated he was growing up or after everything that happened with Louis/Claudia, it makes sense that he is so fascinated by all these discoveries. And it's really immersive and sweet to see how he in awe he is with all of it.

He also speaks like he is somebody born in the 1700s. So I give her credits for that as well.

Pretty sure Lestat is neurodivergent at this point (ADHD is basically a yes from me, maybe he has dyslexia and/or autism too).

And his memory is trash. So often he doesn't know if he actually did something, or if it were someone else, or if it was just a thought... I'm like, ARE YOU OKAY (he isn't)? By the way, this is painfully relatable because I also have poor short (and long-term) memory. Heaven help him (and moi).

That boy is a water sign if I've ever seen one.

He cries A LOT. I don't remember ever seeing any (book/show/movie) character cry that much, specially in such a short time lol. And the fact this is coming from a man and not a woman... There you go with defying gender norms, king!

Lestat having Borderline Personality Disorder isn't even a headcanon at this point, but a FACT.

He probably hasn't been hugged enough times in his life and it SHOWS.

Even with the abuse in his family, his frustration with his mother and the "malady of mortality", he manages to stay optimistic in a way that feels so childlike and naive that makes my heart warm and ache for him. I'm like, you deserve better.

Again, I don't know if I'm enjoying or not, but I do like the fact I can imagine Sam's Lestat doing all of this on season 3. Picturing Sam bringing these moments to life is the BEST PART of the reading.

Would I still read these books if the show never existed? That's what I need to find out.

I can see why some people got so invested in this character, though. At least for now. Some stuff hit close to home and I find myself rooting for him. I imagine that for the ones who read it at as a teenager, it must've made them feel less alone and seen to some extent.

At this moment, it's Lestat > Gabrielle > Nicholas for me.

Lestat's father isn't a person I care about, but depending on how the show adapts him, I guess it could be a good opportunity for a blind actor. It would be killing two birds with one stone, because it would develop Lestat's backstory, but also give space for a category that barely gets any job in the industry. I would love to see a powerful guest star that is a an actual disabled person playing a disabled character. Sure, we would hate him, but if someone manages to show their potential, book more roles and maybe even earn an award or nomination, why not?

Whenever Lestat talks about kissing his mother I get confused if the incest is already happening or not lol. Because I normally would just imagine a platonic kiss on the cheek or forehead and I haven't seen anything explicitly inappropriate. I don't know if it's because I'm reading the Brazilian Portuguese version, or if Anne wasn't that clear, or maybe I'm slow and naive, but nothing big seems to have happened? But I'm familiar with those spoilers, so... Anyway, whatever. It's not like I was counting the days to read about incest, so I don't really care about it being evident or not. I just mean that for now they seem to be more of a "parent that didn't want kids, but cares for him in a distant, but still real way and child that seeks for any crumbs of love and affection" kind of relationship.

Speaking of that, Lestat is SO DESPERATE for love, omg. Nicki was basically the first person besides his mother that was nice to him and he told the guy ALL OF HIS LIFE STORY AND FELL IN LOVE almost immediately? Get up!

Peak BPD/ADHD/maybe autistic/water sign/Scorpio behavior. MY GOD.

Still don't know how to picture Gabrielle and who I fancast playing her. I do think I have some sense of who she is now, which is nice. I also have some actors that could pass for Sam's parent and have the appropriate age to play her in my mental library, but I can't form a face yet. Not the face of a real actress or even an imaginary face, it's just a blur so far. Which sucks because I loooooooooove imagining fancasts, specially for a show as great as this one, but I'm just waiting for the revelation to come to me lmao.

[littlegoblininyourshoe]

OPPOSITE/REVERSE PERSONALITIES AU!!!

All in one sheet-

Personalities/extra info below-

Pickle- a very smart guy, but he is also quite pessimistic and mean. He's best friends with Taco. At first, he's mainly using her to get further into the game. He then gains a soft spot for her and tries to help her as well.

Taco- she's a major sweetheart, but also extremely dumb, meaning she's a great target for getting used. She doesn't believe people when they tried to tell her that Pickle was using her, since Pickle is her best friend. She prefers to tell the truth/be truthful rather than lie.

Apple- she is quite a smart gal, and one to not believe people easily unless given firm proof. She's quite sensible with realistic beliefs. She's able to figure out a lie quickly and easily.

Marshmallow- a quiet girl who only speaks to correct people or to spread her own opinion. Despite that, she's quite optimistic and prefers not to be aggressive. That doesn't mean she's nice, though.

OJ- probably would be the worst guy to own a hotel, but he's very friendly. He gets excitable easily and is quite immature, easily distracted.

Paper- unfriendly, probably evil. He is a bit of a loner, but he does hang out with OJ sometimes. He's extremely untrusting and enjoys bulling people.

Knife- a very shy guy who can't stand up for himself. The main target for bulling from most of the contestants. He is unable to stand up for himself.

Bomb- he's quite smart and very loyal. But he is still a jerk, being very apathetic and coldhearted. He is able to speak in complete sentences but does mess up a lot when experiencing intense emotions. He has a speech disorder, but when to speech therapy to help correct it.

Balloon- more similar to his season one self. He is mean and self-centered. He became this way after being picked on by his weight constantly. He's lazy, barely trying in challenges unless threatened with elimination.

Baseball- an untrustworthy liar, who's the worst leader anyone could count on. He lies constantly to save his and his friend's skin, and is also a complete coward.

Nickel- the opposite of sarcastic, he always tells the truth and prefers the truth, along with the fact he's extremely calm. He practices yoga and meditation in his free time.

Salt- she's a humble girl who is very considerate of other people's emotions. This applies to everyone by Pepper. Her rival is Pepper. Once best friends turned to enemies for reasons they refuse to talk about. The two hate eachother.

Pepper- a very smart girl who likes to plan everything. She's very quiet, but can be seen having screaming matches with Salt. The two are practically at each other's throats all the time.

Bow- an unenthusiastic girl who'd rather be sleeping than doing anything else. She was forced onto this show because MePhone needed more contestants. She is compliant doing what is asked without much complaining. She is trying to figure out her gender but is currently still going by she/her.

Lightbulb- a highly irritated contestant who hates loud noises. She hates slacking off, preferring to work 24/7, and then sit down for a second. She has commonly overworked herself without much care. She is very pessimistic, thinking the world is a hateful place without any good.

Paintbrush- they barely take this game seriously, doing the bare minimum, and they prefer to hang out and bond with the other contestants. They are very lazy and laid back, not getting angry easily. They are irresponsible and unserious.

MePhone4- preferably going by MePhone. He is a carefree host who is definitely not fit to host. Being very lenient and honest about challenges and eliminations. Though, he has the flaw of being apathetic and barely caring about the competition or who wins.

Yippee, also fun fact. There's a limit of 30 tags per post. Also also, ignore how bad my handwriting gets, I promise I have better handwriting 😭

[soullessjack]

good morning everypony here is my overly long caffeinated autistic analysis of the end scene from 14x19 ^_^

so for starters,

Jack’s glowy-archangel-eye color is canonically **gold.** not yellow like the princes of hell or shifters, but **gold.** Very shimmery, very sunshiny and starry and warm. yellow and gold are also the colors/aesthetics associated with jack most often in the fandom because of this so it’s his Thing™️ . however, in the smoky fiery background, they appear to be glowing so intently that they start to become a little…red …like Lucifer’s eyes so poignantly glow. the background is also extremely red (courtesy of the bunker going into lockdown, effectively *caging* them in), of course with some orangish yellows from the fire, but it’s very … “Lucifer in the background of Jack.”

secondly, jack is almost completely obscured by all of the smoke and backdrop fire/lockdown alarm lighting. if you zoom in close enough you can just barely see the white stripes on his cuffs, but otherwise he has absolutely no discernible features besides his glowing-out-of-skull eyes. he’s unrecognizable, vaguely human, but the prominent and most visible trait is the one he inherited from his nonhuman father, Lucifer, whose shadow he was pretty much born in and fought to get out of.

He feels nothing here but “icy hatred” and “fury,” and later on after he leaves he visits his grandparents specifically because “it’s clear—rejected by sam and dean—Jack’s looking for some kind of connection. Some kind of family.”

Lastly, of course, the utter destruction surrounding him; the twisted scrap metal remaining of his coffin, the numerous tiny fires that sprung from its’ demolition, the smoke that fills the entire dungeon so much that it engulfs and obscures Jack’s very being; it’s a very small scale of destruction compared to the “universe devouring” he was hyped up to deliver, but destruction nonetheless—and destruction in its own furious vengeful right, born from a deep sense of grief and pain of rejection and, like Fenrir, lashing out at being treated like a monster by those who you believe loved you; coming full circle into becoming that very monster in the process.

At his core, Jack’s base desires have almost always been to belong and have a family and be loved, especially for who he is, but he is also deeply afraid that ‘who he is’ is something evil and unlovable, something that can only ever destroy and ruin and take away; something that should die for the greater good of the world. he builds up a very specific well-mannered and optimistic hero/protector persona, not just to appear normal, but to be someone he thinks is “good” and useful and therefore worth loving, and the core fear of his “true nature” manifests as an avoidance of anything being ‘wrong’ with him in any capacity.

he lashes out at Mary over this direct fear, because she says something is wrong with him, and he can’t even cope with that with a soul. he tries to reassure Mary that “[he’s] not any different, that [he’s] still [himself]” and becomes defensive when she says otherwise; “the jack she knows would never have done that,” which, in his state of mind and rooted insecurity, would very easily translate into “you are not the person I know,” and likely goes even further to “you are not the person I know and love.” Mary insists on helping him, but Jack “shuts down; knows there’s nothing anyone can do.” He tells her that she can’t [help him] and just wants to be left alone as he begins spiraling, and we of course know the rest.

But afterwards, throughout Jack’s psychosis, Hallucifer basically tells him that he’s useless to the winchesters now, and useless = unlovable = not worth saving to them. He calls Jack their “pet monster,” “muscle to take out their enemies,” and just “pet,” diminishing Jack’s place in the family as their surrogate son (and likewise, them as his surrogate fathers), and reinforcing that he’s still a monster to them, and one that’s only valued or “loved” for his power. vocalizing his subconscious fear. He also taunts Jack’s obsessive motivation to resurrect Mary and, presumably earn forgiveness/regain his place in the family, as pathetic; not just a pointless effort to fix the unfixable, but something he shouldn’t even care about or want anymore, because he doesn’t really belong there anyways. The grief he feels for Mary is “just a reflex” from having a soul, not a genuine emotion or motivation that Jack still has; it’s not really about her, it’s about him being loved again. all of which Jack responds to with increasingly agitated “Shut ups.” And remember, that these are literally Jack’s own thoughts; his intrusive thoughts and long-held insecurities.

much like when Michael said he’d become more powerful and less human as he got older, and Jack “didn’t want to admit it was possible,” — he’s afraid to admit the possibility that he’s doing this selfishly; that he’ll never be loved again, that he was never really loved to begin with; that this is it. This is his true nature, the evil and destructive and pathetic unlovable pet monster that’s only good for being shown an enemy and told “sic-’em, boy.” he’s afraid that he might be doing this selfishly and is adamant that it’s because he really loves Mary. he really wants her back, too. he also goes and does those biblical atrocity murders with the same motivation, so much so that it actually irritates Duma to see he still cares lmao.

it’s a horrible culmination of grief and fear from the same root place, a horrible desire to be loved. to desire is to suffer and such. and that specific obsessive grief-stricken desire to be loved is intimately what twists jack into that unrecognizable rage-filled shadow.

jack’s desire to be loved and his fear of becoming/always being an unlovable monster is ultimately what drove him to becoming that monster.

@dakrapatops @dragonsareattackinghogwarts @aurorasleepsin @shallowseeker @honeyedwhiskey @jvnkless @ / anyone else I forgot lol