#she’s still very much an optimistic person who believes in good! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

splonk-fox · 7 months ago

Text

The flaws of Jax and Ragatha, and why they matter to Pomni's character arc.

Within the two episodes of The Amazing Digital Circus that have been released so far as of writing this post, there have been two characters who have been given the most attention and depth out of any of the cast (ignoring Pomni obviously), and those two characters are Ragatha and Jax.

The duo consisting of the kindhearted optimist and the meanspirited pessimist have without a doubt become some of the most interesting characters to analyze within this series so far thanks to how much meaningful screentime and character depth they have been given within the the two episodes that we viewers have been fortunate enough to witness with our very eyes.

But why is this? Why is it that these two have received special attention from the writers so far, and what role do they play in Pomni's character journey? Well I believe I may have found the answer, and it's unfortunately one that does not spell a good future for these characters. But to truly understand where I am coming from, we must first understand who these two characters are and how they relate to our main protagonist.

To start off with the kindest of the duo, we have already learned quite a lot about Ragatha thanks to the two episodes she has been featured in so far.

Her most prominent character trait is without a doubt her kindness. She is the first person to really be genuinely nice to Pomni upon her entrance to the circus and spends the rest of the episode showing her around the place and trying her best to help her get settled in.

She's also someone who doesn't like to be overly blunt with her responses, such is shown when Pomni asks how they leave the circus, to which Ragatha, instead of just saying that she couldn't, phrases it in a way that makes it sound as if they simply haven't found a way to leave yet, this was obviously done in an attempt to not freak Pomni out too much, though this doesn't really go anywhere thanks to Jax.

Now that's great and all, Ragatha's a nice person, you can easily observe that through casual watches of the show, looking deeper however, you can see that there is a lot more going on with Ragatha than she would like to make you believe.

Insecurity is another trait that Ragatha has that, while not shown off as prominently as her optimism, is still very important to Ragatha's character.

As we see in episode 2 of the series, one of Ragatha's biggest fears is not being liked. She vents to Kinger about how she feels like Pomni doesn't really like her that much, and that clearly scares her. And why wouldn't it? The end of episode 2 makes it clear that one of the most important things in this show when it comes to keeping the main cast mentally stable, is their sense of community.

They're all in this together, they have each other's backs and will do their best to be there for each other when it's needed. That is what is communicated to us within the second episode through Kaufmo's funeral.

This segment of the episode, while somber in its tone, is also one that instills hope within Pomni and the viewer. Because it shows that despite everything, the circus members do care about each other. That abstraction is something that affects everyone and it isn't something that is just brushed off immediately, which if you recall, was the crux of Pomni's fears as seen at the beginning of the second episode, the fear of being forgotten, the fear of no one caring.

"I don't even remember her name honestly" - Dream Jax.

So with how the importance of community has been firmly established within this show's messaging at this point, it should be no surprise that Ragatha's biggest fear is not having that community. Of people not liking you, of people hating you. So how does Ragatha solve this?

Repression, that's how. Of all of Ragatha's personality traits her tendency to not display her true feelings towards things are without a doubt the most damaging.

The best example of this is how she reacts to Pomni abandoning her for the exit. The pilot would lead you to believe that she was mad at Pomni for doing this, that she didn't trust her anymore because of this selfish act.

And yet, that's all brushed to the side in the following episode. Ragatha is back to her optimistic self and is saying that everything is fine! That it was completely understandable and that there was no bad blood between them. Yet you can tell that isn't the whole truth, that Ragatha really didn't get over what Pomni had done to her that easily.

Now do I think Ragatha hates Pomni or secretly resents her? No, not really. I do think she's being honest when she says that she doesn't hold anything against her for doing this. But that doesn't mean she wasn't hurt by it. We can see clear as day from the pilot that this did affect her, so why does she act like she doesn't?

Because, from her perspective, her feelings do not matter. The only thing that does is to make sure Pomni is able to adjust, to make sure that everyone is happy, that everyone is still somewhat sane within the circus, and so she compromises her emotions in order to do this. Gooseworx has even said it herself that Ragatha often says things she doesn't necessarily mean in order to ease tensions. She doesn't want to cause conflict, she doesn't want people to fight with each other because she understands how important community is to the members of the circus persisting.

Yet in the midst of all of this, what Ragatha fails to realize is that with how she currently handles things, she is paving the way for her own mental break.

Ragatha, in her attempts to be there for others, has walled herself off from others being there for her. By lying about how she really feels about things, by acting as if she is fine, she is not allowing herself the emotional vulnerability necessary for others to be there for her when she needs it.

The closest thing we have had to this so far is with Kinger, and while having someone she feels comfortable enough to lament her feelings around is a good thing, this is one person, one person who is... not exactly mentally stable, to put it lightly. Is not exactly an end all be all solution to her problems.

Kinger being the only person who Ragatha can rely on is only gonna work for a limited amount of time, the more she represses, the more she hides her true emotions and clear mental instability, the closer she is to meeting a cruel fate, one that no one would be able to save her from because no one even realized there was something wrong with her. For in her pursuit to make everyone else happy, she has sacrificed her own happiness, as a result.

And then there's Jax.

Jax, in a lot of ways, is pretty much the polar opposite of Ragatha. While her leading trait is kindness, Jax's leading trait is being a complete and utter asshole. And while Ragatha is all about answering things in a roundabout way to ease stress, Jax is all about the blunt answers.

This is best shown to us in the pilot when, in the same scene where Ragatha tries to answer Pomni's question of "how do I leave?" in a way that wouldn't stress her out too heavily, Jax goes straight in with the "you can't". Jax is a pessimist, he has accepted that there is no way out, and is simply riding things as they go by.

Jax's leading character trait is all about causing as much chaos as he can for the sake of his own satisfaction. He doesn't care about how others feel, the only thing he cares about is causing as much chaos as possible simply because he can.

Yet that isn't all that's going on with Jax, there's something deeper here, something more complex.

When it comes to the scenes everyone points to when saying that Jax has a lot more going on with him than meets the eye, the scene where he reacts to Kaufmo's funeral is the one everyone looks at with an analytical lens, and that's for a good reason.

For I think this little scene might just tell us a lot more about Jax than we think.

One thing that I've come to notice about Jax's brand of chaos is that it's very reliant on others' reactions. All of the chaos he causes, all of the absurd and awful things he does are for the sake of seeing how others react. From throwing Pomni over the side of a truck and attempting to use her as a human bridge, or literally everything that he does to Gangle, it's all reaction-based, and that made me realize that, despite how selfish and uncaring he acts towards everyone else, community is still the one thing that truly matters most.

He needs the others so that they can react to his hijinx, as they are what give said actions meaning. If he had no crowd to watch as he acts like a shitty person, then he has no reason to do anything. But that is also where Jax's true character flaw comes in, his selfishness.

With how Jax is constantly pushing others around for the sake of his own amusement, Jax is very clearly a self-centered person. He is someone who is in it for himself and no one else. Who cares if others don't like him? Who cares if others despise him? As long as he gets to see funny things happen to people, he is gonna be okay.

But what happens when that method is no longer effective? What happens when the others don't give him the reaction he wants? What happens when he can no longer use chaos as a way to distract from the pointlessness of his reality?

Well, as scary as this may be to think about, Jax won't really have much of anything to fall back on. His cruel actions have wrote him into a corner. No one likes him, that much is obvious. And while Jax seems content with this now? What happens when he is put in the position of needing someone else's help?

Well, then he'll have no one, and it's ironically for the exact opposite reason to Ragatha. Ragatha's problem is that she is constantly repressing her emotions, despite the fact that she has people who care about her, she doesn't open up to them because in her eyes, her feelings are secondary to others'.

Yet Jax is the opposite, he's honest, he is self-centered, and that's also why he is one of the members who are in this most danger.

In a show that seems to be about how important community is and how important it is to stay together and be there for each other? To have a character who is the complete opposite of that. To have someone who doesn't care about others, who won't be there when someone else is hurting. To have someone who is actively making things harder for everyone... that just spells out demise.

Jax's true weakness is that he does not have a community who will be there for him when he needs it, he was never there for others so why should they be there for him? Meaning that when Jax is at the end of his rope, crying out for help, no one will listen, because as cruel as it sounds, most of the members would probably be happy that he's gone.

While this does admittedly rely a bit on speculation, I think what I've stated above might be the true reason for why Jax looked sad for a moment when the other characters were talking about the funerals held for those who have abstracted. Because in that small moment, he realizes he might not get a funeral of his own when he "dies", or if he did, no one would really have anything nice to say about him.

And that fear, that knowing of how the way you've built yourself up by putting others down has lead to everyone hating you, to everyone not having a single good thing to say about you... that is terrifying. And yet he hides it, he walks away, he refuses to attend the funeral because then he will have to be confronted with the uncomfortable reality of the fact that he won't die as someone who was remembered for doing good things.

The only thing he'll be remembered for, is how much everyone hated him. And all of that brings us right back, to Pomni.

I said at the beginning of this post, as well as with the title itself, that Ragatha and Jax matter to Pomni's character arc, but why is this? Sure they're both main characters so obviously they're going to influence her journey going forward, but how exactly does any of this matter to Pomni? It's simple really.

Ragatha and Jax represent two extremes, they represent what happens when you lean too far in one direction. In one case, it is caring too much about others and not caring about yourself, and in the other, it's caring too much about yoursef and not caring about others.

Pomni has already shown traits of both Jax and Ragatha. She has shown an empathetic, kindhearted side as seen in her interactions with Gummigoo, and she has shown a selfish side, as seen when she abandoned Ragatha for the "exit" in the pilot.

Pomni has shown herself to be both selfish and selfless. But what part of her matters more? Simple answer, both. It is important to care about others while also taking time to take care of yourself. Ragatha and Jax show what happens when you forget to do one of these things.

By always taking care of others, you're forgetting to take care of yourself, and by always taking care of yourself, you fail to take care of others. To find a healthy balance is to do both. To be aware of your own mental health while also making sure that others are doing okay too. And this is something that Pomni will need to realize if she is going to make it in the circus.

And this is where Jax and Ragatha become important. I believe these two will show Pomni how important it is to keep a balance of things. To not lean too far in one direction, as if you do, it spells bad news for you either way. And how will this be communicated to her and the audience?

Abstraction.

Think about it. If Ragatha and Jax's harmful practices continue without change and they end up abstracing because of it, that will be a wakeup call to Pomni, it will show her the flaws of being too selfless, and too selfish. Is it an extreme way to communicate such message? Sure, but it's also one that can't be ignored.

We, the audience, and Pomni, would see first hand the consequences of leaning too far in either direction, that if you don't find a balance, you will end up like Jax and Ragatha did.

And that's why I think these two in particular have been given so much screentime and attention these past two episodes. Because they are meant to show us the most extreme versions of Pomni's most prominent character traits.

The ability to care about yourself, and the ability to care about others.

Of course, I might be wrong in this assessment. We are far too early in the show's runtime to truly predict any big events like this. But from a narrative standpoint, I believe this interpretation makes the most sense in the way of showing us the audience, and Pomni, what truly matters. It's not just about you, it's not just about others, it's about both.

Thank you for reading.

#the amazing digital circus #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #character study #analysis

339 notes · View notes

jozlyn-moon · 9 months ago

Text

The Cipher Twins

Ford’s Journal Entry:

(It’s long! And one of the first Journal Entries I’ve gone fully into making!)

“How and Why that devil managed to “conceive”, and I use this term loosely, is beyond me. Especially when it’s taken in mind how careful with planning he chooses to be. But the outcome of two children that share such gains of his power is.. well- reckless, but that does give us a view that he isn’t as on his game as much as he once was, which in my eyes shows as a beacon of hope. Continuing though-

These two have been an eye opening pain in the ass to deal with in all the years that they’ve had to be in my life… and that’s saying quite a bit. From the oddities that sprout from their father’s genes to the oddities that come from each of their unique personalities that stem from their own special quirks, to study them has been an experience. Though, if I shouldn’t lie.. I may have chosen a favorite of the two for one reason or another and even if either manages to get a hand on my writing their opinion would not much matter in the end.

To begin on the first, Lily Cipher, a rambunctious but albeit pleasant kid to be around. An attribute which I could only give thanks to in the mother’s raising of both of the twins which I presumed had fortunately been enough to quell any evil nature that may have been held in her soul. Along with the fact that there had been no contact with the father in her and her sibling’s upbringing. Ignoring that fact- She can be described as a great help around the lab, seeing as age and stress have worn down my ability to keep steady with my motor and cognitive skills… she comes in handy as a shockingly fast learner, but to no surprise really as much as I don’t want to point the praise at where the origin of the ability may have come from, I do have my guesses to who it was passed down from.

She is a very curious and hyperactive child as well, being quite fascinated in the little things and anything that moves, she could only remind me of Mabel in her younger years in the most bitter sweet way possible. I pray for the moment that she’s alright.. but besides that point-

I find that she’s been a large help in also understanding, if not, being able to decrypt the genetics of my enemy, with her ability to shape shift into a form similar to the beings of Bill’s late home dimension, flatlanders as they’re called, she has given key samples of skin and DNA that have properties no normal being can handle nor have. I believe she and her brother are direct keys in Bill’s downfall. And while I wish to be optimistic to the outcomes of their existence at the current time, I do hold dread for whats to come. As while I may have positive outcomes with the more sweet hearted sibling… I have trouble describing the short tempered and snide one as such. Liam is another whole pile of bones to dissect but i’ll get to his summary soon enough.

Lily, and what baffles me the most about her, is how something so, well giddy and sweet by nature, can come out of such a creature that can be so, by choice, dangerously and maliciously evil. But then again, that damn triangle had always had his charms at his hand, so it wouldn’t be a complete surprise if that had passed along to his spawn.

And as much as I want to be paranoid of my enemy’s daughter, seeing first hand her grow up with no influence of her father’s morals and presence due to her mother separating from that devil before either of the twins were born- it lets me ponder on the thought of the nature vs nurture theory and how whether or not natures of the parents pass down to the kin and how much it actual effects their psyche.

Albeit with Lily, she works on her own will with a good moral stand point and natural urge to uplift others in sometimes slightly odd but endearing ways. Though i’m afraid that it’s her brother that leaves me still questioning the nature vs. nurture stand point, as I couldn’t say the same completely for her twin.

Liam Cipher, a more reserved kid but leaning on socially aloof by choice, is one who leaves me sleeping with one eye open. Literally. Seemingly gained the temper of his father along with a slew of other worrying traits that I would rather not be in the presence of while someone has lit his fuse. He is the sole reason why I had to ban or at the least limit the use of both of their magic to the mundane and simple party tricks after an incident with him that cost me half my sight with a fit he threw when he was younger.

Though as his mother insists to me greatly, it’s not the child’s fault for the traits he was born with, he can’t help himself she claims. And while true to some extents I can’t help but feel the dread towards the thought of another Bill like being sprouting due to the “freak accident” of them being somehow made into existence. From the personality to even the damn voice that the kid shares with himself and his devil of a father, I can’t just shake off the feeling of a tense shiver that always crawls up my back when thinking of him growing older.

The only saving grace, and what calms my already paranoid nerves falls upon the ones I could think have a good hand in quelling those unsavory traits, the one’s I label the family buffers. I.e his mother, sister, and at times the cousins that are there to talk him down out of a potential blow out. I couldn’t even dare muster the thoughts to wonder what he’d turn to if his mother nor his “siblings”, if I could even loosely consider the cousins as such, weren’t there to quell his snappy nature. But for the sake of my cortisol levels, I can’t let those scenarios overcome my already racing thoughts because I have enough to deal with now in taking care of both of the twins that have been enough of a hassle on my growing age.

Liam for the most part has made it clear that he has a distaste for me, I believe sprouting from my coldness towards his mother for being deceptive at the beginning of our begrudging guardianship over the kids. And he places it as if I have no good reason, if it wasn’t clear that I have some bother that hiding the children of that damned demon under my nose with what current family I have left wasn’t something to not be chastised for. Not to mention that her withholding from the implicit truth had allowed me and my great great niece and nephew to harbor an attachment to the twins which if I had known before hand their origin… would not have ended well for her.

But I am not heartless, I do understand the fears that may have accompanied the weight of telling the truth at the time. And I’ve learnt that I shouldn’t be one to not swallow my pride and say I know I would have probably acted rashly. But as someone who freshly lost what family they had left at the time I feel as if it would’ve been just.

I don’t hate either of them, even while one may be more a pain in the ass than the other. I do believe I care for them in some sense. Liam is a help to me greatly, I won’t downplay that factor at all, he’s the one that helps me draw in the newer journal entries and goes out to scout with Chloe to do some cartography of the surrounding landscape. A quirk he seems to be great at with a sense of great direction and keen eyesight, something even younger me couldn’t get down right away. My body can only do so much these days as I’ve already made my point earlier that my hands and even now legs can’t do what they did often like they used to.

He’s smart, more smart than he gives himself props for, he knows how to channel a certain charisma and silver tongue that lets him find the best supplies, of course if it isn’t the case that he had stole them in the first place. And like his sister, there is no second thought to where he got that ability from, but it’s better to not dwell on it, just for my sake at least.

Both are a handful in their own ways, but they have grown on me- and they do hold insight in how we may be able to stop weirdmaggedon once and for all.

And I pray that it can be in time.”

(If you made it down here thanks for reading it! I want to make sure I have Ford’s characterization down to some extent 😭 My grammar may not be all that great but I tried lol)

#gravity falls #gravity falls au #gf amber skies #gravity falls concept #alternate universe #stanford pines #lily cipher #liam cipher #journal #journal entry

185 notes · View notes

iamnmbr3 · 2 months ago

Note

Great answers! I do love the idea of Sirius as DADA teacher!

Here's another one for you: rank these characters from worst to best for the post of Minister of Magic

Albus Dumbledore

Lucius Malfoy

Sirius Black (again cause I love him and I read a fic about this once)

Minerva McGonagall

Barty Crouch Sr.

oh god. these clowns would all be such terrible minsters of magic. why are you doing this to me? ok fine. here goes.

Lucius Malfoy: I think because movie!Lucius was sort of toned down and defanged fandom sometimes forget what a nasty piece of work book!Lucius was before he had his downfall and got all sad and pathetic. Fanon!Lucius often gets turned into kind of a joke but book!Lucius was out there torturing muggles for fun by night while he had the ear of the Minister by day and was, seemingly, extremely adept at subtly spreading his pureblood supremacist agenda in government. (Honestly, better at it than Tom because unlike Tom he actually cared). Also in book 4 it's very clear that if he had gotten hold of Hermione - a fourteen year old child - on the World Cup grounds he would've attacked her without hesitation (been eager for it, in fact). Yeah he wasn't down with Voldemort's whole thing but that was more because of the effect it had on him personally. with Voldemort out of the picture he was top dog and he was doing just fine. All this to say, as Minister the policies he enacts are...not good to say the least. He'd be out there building a violent pureblood supremacist dictatorship in a heartbeat.

Albus Dumbledore: Albus says he can't be trusted with the power of being Minister and honestly...I believe him. He'd still play the same messed up manipulation games he plays in canon but on a much larger scale (while simultaneously feeling bad about it and telling himself it's for the greater good). He does some truly epic mental gymnastics to convince himself he needs to make himself dictator for life and then things spiral because obviously anyone who resists him is evil right? Right? Of course! The alternative is that he is wrong and he doesn't want to think about that. Also, he doesn't seem that bothered by house elf slavery and his ideas for getting nonhuman magical creatures on his side in canon seemed to involve asking nicely but not actually granting them rights. So I'm not super optimistic on that front. So yeah. This just turns into the whole of wizarding Britain getting gaslit and thrown into insane situations by a madman who seems so wholesome and lovable and yet... Also. Given how poorly organized the Order is I think it's safe to say that all other flaws aside, the man does not have a gift for management.

Barty Crouch Sr.: Listen. He ALSO sucks. Very clearly ok with slavery, not a fan of due process, and allowed Aurors to torture confessions out of suspects. His only saving grace is that he does love rules so he'd probably eventually step down and wouldn't make as many potentially damaging changes as Dumbledore.

Minerva McGonagall: Her no nonsense attitude ensures that any meeting she runs actually accomplishes things. She's smart. She's sane. She's stable. She doesn't care about ending slavery or changing the status quo, but she's a lot better than most of the options. She's not especially creative or good at political games though which often hampers her ability to carry out objectives and prevent bad actors (i.e. Lucius and his faction) from getting their way.

Sirius Black: What does the man who hates authority do when he finds himself in a position of ultimate authority? I don't know but I'd love to read about it! Sirius is actually pretty shrewd (contrary to fanon) and I think he'd actually turn out to be a natural at handling politics (much as he might hate it). He also understands traditional pureblood society (he is a Black after all) but he doesn't idolize it (he hates being a Black) which would allow him to understand and work with multiple factions. Additionally he can be forceful and authoritative. He's impatient, often biased and unfair, sometimes quite cruel, can be temperamental, and again, has 0 problem with slavery. So like. He's not good per say, but he's actually better than some of the others. (At least with him meetings are never dull because if he gets bored enough he just turns into a dog and eats the agenda).

#asks #Sirius Black #Harry Potter #my meta #meta

57 notes · View notes

imdedinsidex-x · 4 months ago

Text

Working on a Hazbin rewrite that I’m dubbing The Bed and Betterment Project. Some info about everything so far under the cut!

-Charlie is a lot more menacing in this AU, as I imagine her personality is a lot more like Michael from The Good Place. She’s still fairly cheery and seems kind, but she’s willing to remind others of who she is.

-Charlie started the Bed and Betterment Project as a way to see how far sinners could go to get better and improve, or if that’s even possible. This was mostly just something for her own entertainment, but as she gets used to the members of the project she comes to see that maybe they can actually improve, and thus she changes her sights towards redemption and she becomes a bit more optimistic as the show goes on

-Charlie has very unorthodox ways of trying to get the members of the project to rehabilitate by tempting them with their worse vices and making them relieve traumatic events, hoping it’ll push them forward (or perhaps over the edge.)

-Vaggie’s identity as an exorcist is already known by the denizens of hell, as well as by Charlie. In fact Charlie uses that to her advantage, Vaggie taking in the position of the ultimate bodyguard. Her character arc would be largely focused on her becoming her own person, gaining her own hobbies, and loving herself.

-All the exorcist wear mask that cover their true heavenly features, as do Charlie and Lucifer. Adam is the only one who doesn’t really need a mask, but he prefers to wear it.

-Speaking of Adam, he is much more intimidating in this AU, being a bit more serious but still coming off as affable and laidback, maybe even a little dumb. But despite his hedonistic tendencies, he still is a force to be reckoned with and can be quite threatening when he wants to be.

-Husk doesn’t have wings anymore. I believe they served no purpose, and instead he is slinky! His limbs and neck can extend to incredible lengths, as a reference to his looseness. And while he doesn’t immediately look like a magician like he did in his previous design, he can still do plenty of magical things in a similar fashion to the Cheshire Cat, being able to disappear and reappear really wherever, but he hardly utilizes this ability anymore.

-Alastor I figured could do with a neat little makeover, both in his casual appearance and in his demon form. I’ve gotten rid of his weird technical stuff and have decided they are instead crooked and sharp antlers he can spawn from wherever. Just as well he can control various radio signals and even create static sound or high frequency screams from his jaws, very much inspired by an elk’s cry.

-I’ve also changed Alastor’s backstory, but that’s something for a different piece.

-Wanted to lean into the blaxploitation inspiration of Valentino, as well as find a good balance of conventionally attractive and gross. I imagine whenever he’s about to say or do something particularly nasty, he pukes up maggots before hand to show off his vile nature.

-Not featured here, but I have ideas for Vox and the seraphims as well, but I’ll save that for another sketch page.

65 notes · View notes

jasperhaleobsessed · 5 months ago

Note

I have a rq!!

A platonic Emmett x friend!reader who he learns has the same last name he had when he was human (McCarty), and the same dimples as him.

Turns out, she’s like a great-great-great niece or smth and how they talk ab it n how he explains all the vampire stuff and they become besties!!

Notes: Sorry, I know this is really short compared to my other fics!! also thank you for your patience, I really appreciate it! But I hope you still like it! 💗

Warnings: None!

Emmett Cullen x platonic!reader!

"I can't believe you're my great, great, great niece! That's awesome!" You laughed showing your dimples.

Emmett smiled as well, "And you've got my dimples as well!"

You couldn't believe it either. You had a great, great, great uncle who happened to be a vampire. You'd never thought when you moved to Forks that you'd make a lot of friends let alone family. You still couldn't quite fathom the idea that he was a vampire. It was kind of crazy. You were still processing the information he had told you but you gladly welcomed him, with open arms. And he did as well. You'd met his family and for the most part they were welcoming as well.

They were sweethearts except for a few who were a little more closed off. But you didn't take it personally. You couldn't blame them. You couldn't help but feel emphatic of them as well. They were vampires who strived to be good and care for humans and the bloodlust must be difficult even after multiple decades. It seemed to be a difficult task and for that you wouldn't blame them or have any ill will towards them. You knew if you were a vampire you'd want somebody to be understanding of your predicament.

It warmed your heart knowing even after he couldn't be with his family he had grown up with he found a family and people who loved and cared for him. It was also delightful to know he found someone special in his after life or vampire life? You weren't sure how to refer to it but you were just happy for him that's all you know.

She hadn't been the most welcoming but you tried to not take it to heart or too personally. She seemed to care for Emmett quite a bit so you tried to think optimistically rather than negatively.

He then explained that they sparkle like diamonds. They freaking sparkle! You could barely believe it!

"Wait you sparkle like, like actual sparkles." He nodded. "Wow." You said mouth agape in shock.

Carlisle intervened, "Yes but you need to understand you cannot tell anyone about this or else our family could be endangered." You completely understood you wouldn't want to cause them problems especially to your own family. And to you it didn't make sense why you would tell anyone else this wasn't your secret to tell, it's not your business you're not going to go off and tell people.

"She won't, don't worry." Edward answered before you could say anything.

You were confused, "How do you know I won't?" He raised his brow, "I just mean you don't seem like someone who is very trusting of someone they just met."

"I'm not. I can read your mind." he said bluntly.

"What?" You asked. Emmett laughed at your expression. "Okay I wasn't expecting that." You said, surprised.

'I don't think anyone does, dear." Esme says warmly. "True." You said. You turned your wrist to look at the time, "Oh shoot look at the time, I have to go. It was amazing meeting you all, Thank You so much for having me."

"You're welcome." Esme and Carlisle said.

Esme gave you a warm smile while Carlisle shook your hand. Alice gave you the gentlest hug she could while being excited. While Jasper simply nodded. Edward didn't say much and Rosalie followed suite. But Emmett gave you a bear hug and twirled you around. You in that moment decided that he gave the best hugs in the world. You couldn't help but laugh and you thanked him, sweetly. A warm feeling spread in your chest as you left the Cullen household.

#twilight #twilight saga #the twilight saga #emmett cullen #emmett cullen x reader #emmett cullen x you #emmett cullen x platonic!reader!#request #requested #twilight x reader

111 notes · View notes

spenceragnewfics · 6 months ago

Text

THE INTERN | Chapter One

Spencer Agnew x Younger!Intern!Reader

TW: None

Word Count: 1.9k

Description: Y/N has been a fan of Smosh since they could remember. Now about to enter their senior year of college, they get an opportunity to be an intern at the Smosh Office and their first day has arrived.

Every new job comes with stress. You never know what is going to happen. You could have awful co-workers, creepy or mean bosses, and horrible workloads pushed onto you by lazy co-workers, the list is infinite.

The stress comes even more when it’s something that could become your first job in the real world. Internships are a major stepping stone in any college kid’s career, it’s the start of being over with college and being a person in society.

That’s all that is racing through Y/N’s head as they look at the studio in front of them. Many people would consider them lucky with their internship. You see, Y/N is a long-time fan of Smosh, a very popular YouTube channel, and was somehow able to get an internship with the company for the summer.

They didn’t know exactly where and who they would be working with, except for knowing that their main job would be helping with social media. Looking at their phone, it shows that they still have ten minutes until they should be there but the anxiety was killing them too much to be any later.

Taking a deep breath, they grip onto the bag on their shoulder and walk to the front door. Pushing the button, they wait until a voice comes over the speaker, “Hi, how can I help you?” They lean down to be face-level with the camera. “Umm, I-I-I’m Y/N L/N. I’m the new intern.” Their voice comes out nervous, hoping they didn’t get the days confused or anything. They read the email what felt like a million times to make sure they were right.

“Yes! Alright, come on in! I’ll meet you at the door.” They hear the door unlock and push it open. Walking into the cool space, the heat from the outside slowly starts to melt from them. Looking around, the office looks much cooler in person. A lot of it is familiar but some things are new or haven’t been shown in videos.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!�� A gentle voice says, pulling them from their daydream to look at the woman in front of them. The short Filipino woman standing in front of her is smiling kindly, “I’m Selina. Welcome to Smosh.” The woman sticks her hand out for Y/N to shake.

“I’m Y/N, which you already knew, and I know who you are. I’ve been a fan of the channel for a long time. That sounds creepy though, I’m so sorry.” They say while shaking her hand, thankfully the woman has a good sense of humor and is laughing. “It’s not creepy at all. I knew it would come with being in some videos. It’s always cool to meet fans. This must be like a dream for you.”

“Yeah, honestly, the whole process felt like a major dream. I can’t believe I’m here. I had my friends dump cold water on me when I got the email about me getting the internship. It was dumb but helped make sure it was real.” They confess as they play with their hands. Nerves still being the main thing Y/N is feeling.

“I can tell you're nervous. Don’t be. I promise, this place is very chill and the people are amazing. As long as you are willing to work, you’ll fit in well here.” Selina says, comforting the nervous mess that is in front of her. “Thank you, so where do I go?” They ask after taking a deep breath.

“Well, I will give you a tour, and then when we get done with that we will go to the conference room and you will meet some of the people you’ll be working with and some of the higher-ups. That does include Ian and Anthony.” Y/N perks up a little, their mood becoming more optimistic by the second because if everyone is like Selina, then this will be the best time ever.

They follow Selina as she takes them around the office. It’s very empty because it’s a shooting week so most of the office is helping with filming stuff. She got to see all the different pods and meet some of the office-focused staff like Emily, Josh, Peter, and Marcus.

Once the tour is over, the two head back to the front so Y/N can go to the conference room. “And that over there is the conference room. That’s where we do most of our big meetings and important stuff. That concludes the tour, if you have any questions please don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Thank you so much, Selina. I will keep that in mind.” Y/N says, slightly laughing as the two walk to the conference room. “Now this is where I must leave you. I am very excited to be working with you.” She says, giving Y/N a comforting squeeze on the arm before walking away.

Turning to the door, they can see a few people in the conference room. All people They recognize. Tommy, Alé, and Zoe are the only ones in there so far. Taking a breath, they open the door with a kind smile, “Hello, I’m Y/N L/N. It’s nice to meet you.” They say as they walk in, catching the attention of the room.

“Oh, you scared me! I didn’t expect you already, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Zoe.” Says the blonde woman, walking over to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you, as well.” They say as they walk to the table. “I’m Alé, welcome to Smosh. You impressed us with your interviews and work.” The CEO says and it makes their heart soar.

“That means a lot. Thank you.” Alé gives them a kind smile before they turn to Tommy. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you fellow social media person,” he says, a little hint of amusement in his voice. “It’s nice to meet you as well. I’m so excited to be here, honestly. This is a dream.”

“Okay, you don’t have to butt kiss anymore. You’re already in.” He jokes, making Y/N laugh. “It shouldn’t be too much longer until the rest are here. I think they’re finishing a shoot.” Alé says and Y/N sits down. They look around, not knowing where to sit. “I won’t bite, I swear,” Tommy says, patting the seat next to him.

They sit next to him and put their bag on the table. Pulling out their laptop and tablet, Y/N opens up the important stuff that holds their digital work, video ideas that her advisor said could come in handy, and some examples of videos she’s worked on for her classes.

A few minutes pass with the groups sharing small talk until the door opens. Looking over, Y/N feels nervous all over again as Ian and Anthony walk into the room with Erin D. walking in behind them. “So sorry, we’re late. The rest are coming in soon.” Anthony says before turning to Y/N.

Their eyes widen when he looks at them, not believing this is real again. “Well hello there, you must be Y/N. I’m Anthony.” He says, walking over with his hand stretched out. “I know, I’ve been a fan for a while. Thank you again for this, it’s a dream come true.” They say as they shake his hand. Ian chuckles while walking over, “We’re glad to have someone so talented on our team. Your work is amazing.” He says, shaking their hand as well.

“That means a lot. Y’all’s videos got me through years and years of homework and projects.” They say, laughing a bit. “Well, we’re glad to have helped,” Anthony says as the door opens again.

This time Shayne and Courtney walk in and behind them is someone who makes her heart race for a different reason. Her breath halts when Spencer walks into the room, dressed in a jean jacket, button-down, rolled jeans, and boots. His curly hair was held back by a cap on his head.

The three sit down together, across from Y/N and Tommy. “Okay, everyone is here. Thank you all for coming. Today we are welcoming a new addition to our office for the summer. Y/N L/N is coming to us from across the country and is currently in their senior year of college. Welcome, Y/N.” Alé says and the room claps.

Tommy motions for them to stand up, “Uh, hi. I didn’t expect to say anything but I’m Y/N, if that’s not obvious. I’m a social media management and multi-media production major. I’m a little nervous being so far from home but excited to be here for the summer.” They say, a shy smile on their face as they look around the room.

Their eyes stop on Spencer who is looking at them with a soft expression. The kind he has when he’s listening to people, the same one they’ve seen in many videos. “It’s very exciting to meet you, Y/N. Welcome to the team.” Courtney says, a kind smile on their face.

“Yeah, I’m excited to see what you can bring to the games channel,” Spencer says, keeping his eyes on them as they sit down. “Yes, thank you for bringing that up Spencer. Y/N, we have looked at the stuff you’ve done and from what you’ve told us plus input from your recommendations. You’ll be mainly helping with the gaming channel.” Alé says.

“Really? That’s so cool.” Y/N says, a smile bright on their face. “Yeah, so you will work with Tommy and me mostly to get things done,” Spencer says and they nod. “Okay, I think that’s all we have. This was just a meeting for you to get to know a few people, mostly the ones you will be working under.” Zoe says.

“Okay, sounds great.” Y/N says, an optimistic smile bright on their face. Everyone stands up, those who already met Y/N leave while Shayne, Courtney, and Spencer stay behind.

“So, Y/N, what have you done at college besides your degree stuff?” Courtney asks, wanting to get to know the newbie more. “Well, I am a part of my school’s esports team. We’re still kind of new but have done pretty well. I also was on the university paper but I stopped so I could do my internship.” They explain.

“That sounds super cool, you must be a good gamer to get on an esports team.” Shayne acknowledges. “I try, it’s not something I do all the time. Mostly for fun and I kinda joined because of my ex but that’s a long story.”

“Ah, the things we do for love.” Courtney reminisces, “I think you will fit in great here. I know Trevor will be happy to have someone close to his age.” Spencer jokes. “I’m super excited, this is honestly a dream. I’m not even sure I’m awake right now.” Y/N confesses.

“I think I know how we can break that. Since it’s your first day, you can sit back and watch how things go then we’ll throw you into the deep end tomorrow.” Spencer says, his eyes never leaving Y/N. “Ooo, that sounds scary. Fun, but scary. I like it.” They say, perking up and putting their bag on their shoulder.

Courtney laughs as they wrap their arm around them, “You are gonna be perfect here.” They say as they all walk out of the conference room.

#smosh #smosh cast #smosh games #smosh mouth #smosh pit #spencer agnew #spencer agnew x reader #fluff #spencer agnew fluff #romance #fanfiction #imagine #request #smosh x reader #smosh imagine

124 notes · View notes

conniesministallion · 7 months ago

Text

☆☆𝓘𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓟𝓸𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝒫𝒶𝓇𝓉2☆☆

Warnings: Violence! (Rafe/Ward)(Rafe/JJ) Angst!

Pairing: Rafe x Black reader

This is Rafe's POVs

*+:｡.｡　　｡.｡:+*

I cant believe I'm sitting here looking at this man's bald ass head again. Granted I am too but still we both look older than we are. I guess that helps with dealing to older customers. Selling this shit to kooks isn't as easy as selling to pogues. I know I shouldn't be but who the hell is gonna help me when things get hard besides her.

Sofia is eh..ya know somebody, she's help, very caring and optimistic but she still doesn't compare to her.

She however helps me figure shit out, calms me down, she's smart and understands the shit I go through. Plus, besides Barry she doesn't judge the shit I do.

Grabbing the kilo off of the small brown table in front of me. I start packaging it up for the next party we're about to throw at Topper's. He's paying too, especially after we almost got busted last time from some punk who was mad about paying for all the coke he was doing that night.

Turns out his dad is a cop,

That i've already sold to twice.

But of course I had to make an example so I beat his ass.

" Yo, the rest is in the trunk let's just sell this shit and bounce when it's over. I got shit to do, plus I have to get your girl from work." Barry says as he peeks behind the screen door.

Standing up and glaring towards him as I grab my keys, " Not my girl bro just someone I keep around."

" Ya okay country club whatever you say, I don't even treat my best piece like that."

This mf, I swear. Sofia is nothing but a smart lil girl I keep around for a good time. Honestly, it was easy. I mean she's still new to the island and she hasn't been out much. I'm just practicing being a nice person.

I bump past him and head toward the car, tossing the last kilo I had in his arms.

"Shut up and come on".

*+:｡.｡　　｡.｡:+*

I'm sitting here staring at the last message I sent SIX HOURS AGO. Why the hell hasn't she texted me back. This lil girl got me messed up. I know she seen when I asked why Maybank's ass isn't blocked. Realizing I'm shaking I send her another message before I'm interrupted but a high pitch voice.

Soulmate: Stop ignoring me mama and block him. I wanna see the screen recording too.

"Why aren't you paying attention to me Rafey?" Sofia whined to me grabbing my arm and resting her cheek on my bicep.

Sofia. Sofia. Sofia.

So cute, but so very annoying and very fucking clingy. She's not the one I want to cling to me. The one I want is ignoring me on an island where she probably has a boyfriend waiting for her. Just thinking about it is pissing me the fuck off.

" I'm too busy selling Sofia, I got you when I get done. Meanwhile, you wanna line or are you just drinking tonight?"

She starts batting her little eyelashes up at me , "Just drinking but I will have a little line if you don't mine doing it for me."

I sat my phone on the white couch underneath me and grab my black card to start the line for her. I only do Y/N's lines and that's only when she's drinking. Two for one night and only on occasions cuz I'll be damned if my baby end up like how I was. I love her way too much to sit and let that shit happen but her puppy eyes are so cute and we ended up coming up to an agreement.

Two lines every three months, not every party and not every time she gets drunk. I'll know if she gets it from somewhere else but she knows better than to try that shit.

" Here Sofia, it's ready let me know when you want some more." I handed her a rolled up bill and getting up the go talk to Barry.

I already sold my portion and the rest was for the three of us to share when he gets done with his. Topper is talking to Kelce and some red haired chick I've seen around in a corner.

Making my way downstairs and into the living room I spot Barry talking to someone on Facetime while handing a baggie to some dude in a red polo setting his money in the pile on the table.

" It's all good baby, you'll be home soon right? You want me to let him know or you want to just stay with me?"

" I'll come over yours first and we can just go back to his together." The other voice on the phone sounding familiar.

Who the hell is he talking to? I know he doesn't have a girlfriend so the hell??

"Yo who's that? Are you done selling or what?" I sat on the couch next to him and start counting the money in my pocket

"It's ya bestie boo or whatever the hell girly shit she be saying." he said chuckling and handing me the phone.

" Hi baby, I miss you. Even tho you kinda trippin at the moment." Y/n says. Fuck she's so damn cute, I miss her too but why hell didn't she text me back. And why the hell did she call Barry and not me.

" Hey mama, I miss you too but why you ain't texting me back." I ask her.

"I did text you back baby and I sent your toxic ass evidence." She said rolling her eyes at me.

I'm acting shocked knowing damn well.

" I'm not toxic mama just protective and I didn't see the message yet. When you coming home?" I asked her setting the phone on the table to lean against the wad of cash.

" I'm coming back tomorrow love, have my room ready please? Or yours it really doesn't matter. Barry is staying with us by the way, we'll let you know the details later yeah?"

I sit back crossing my arms across my chest and look at Barry. " So when were you gonna tell me about this plan?" I asked him

He shrugged back and took a sip of his drink. " She wanted me to wait until she got back bro my bad."

Before I could respond I feel someone putting their face on my neck. Looking back I see Sofia. Fuck. I haven't told either of them about each other.

" Who's that Rafey your cousin or something?" She said, looking over my shoulder.

I shrug her off and before I even respond, I see Y/n's face turned up and frowning.

" Cousin, oh lord baby. Of course, you got a new one while I was away. Just make sure my room is ready please love and thank you." She says rolling her eyes as she puts her suitcase down in front of her bed.

" I gotchu mama don't worry see you tomorrow. Say bye to Barry baby." I turn the phone towards him as he waves.

She waved back and smiles hanging up the phone. Rubbing my hands down my face and handing him his phone back.

He smirks and giggles at me clearly being entertained with the situation.

" She's gonna fuck you up country club." Laughing as he threw his head back laughing.

" I'm already knowing."

*+:｡.｡　　｡.｡:+*

<3 <3 <3

A/N: YAAAAAA second part kinda nervous yall lol.

#rafe cameron x black!reader #rafe outer banks #x black reader #outer banks #outer banks x black reader #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #outerbanks rafe #rafe x y/n #barry x reader #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron

61 notes · View notes

juniperpyre · 2 months ago

Note

24 for jilyyyyyy 🫶🏼

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

i really do think their personalities compliment each other even before they get together. they have such great banter and they both love banter/bickering. they each like a challenge. and that's more for their casual, day to day interactions.

on a deeper level i think they balance the other's more difficult traits. not flaws, necessarily, more the parts of being a person that are the hardest for them

this is so long bc i'm procrastinating two things

i think james is a very stable person. emotionally, and in his own self conception, and then physically i feel like he'd have a really solid, reassuring presence from his athleticism and confidence. i know there was a kind of popular hc that he's emotionally repressed and insecure, and then the other side of that where he's "the sun" (aka a golden retriever).

i don't think either of those are true, but i do think he's an optimist and doesn't like to dwell in sadness and pain. he'll express it, yea, but he's not a big revisitor of past issues once he feels they've been solved. he'd rather joke about it.

lily is more ephemeral. she never has a place to put her feet, and she is def an "everything i've let go of has claw marks" girl, but also a runner. i don't think she dwells once she lets go but it takes a long time for her to let go.

she's perceptive. as she gets to know someone she learns all of their tiny idiosyncrasies, the way she analyzes people makes some swear she learned legilimency at age 13. she's a sweet, friendly person, but i imagine james has more natural charisma. he can connect with anyone in just a few minutes—very different from how lily connects with people.

generally i think james is much more easygoing, but i don't think lily is a stick in the mud, she just likes trouble less than james. which is to say, she enjoys trouble from time to time. they're both self-important (manifesting from opposite places) and stubborn. they're both incredibly loyal and forgiving. they share the same values, as well as a few flaws, which makes it easy to accept the flaws (or even like them) and make a life together.

of course, the stability of james offers lily a place of respite. his optimism helps her see the good when both parts of the world beat her down. and it's satisfying for him to take care of her like this

lily really sees james, and unlike sirius, the only other contender for james-understander, she pulls at the threads he ignores. and she knows how to weave them back in without having to ask. james never stops moving unless lily (or later harry) tell him to stop, and sometimes he needs lily to do that.

they're both very determined, stubborn people, who's perspectives were developed through continually choosing to do the right thing and learn from their mistakes, so they do butt heads. james believes he should be taking action rather than sitting still and lily believes his optimism is deadly

oops they were both right!

#m #ask #giggles-and-freckles #jily #lily evans #james potter #marauders #hp meta

26 notes · View notes

halfwayunder · 2 months ago

Text

Caitlyn Character Arc Theory! ("the 3 Caitlyns")

I've had some thoughts on the "3 versions of Caitlyn" that I think we'll have seen by the conclusion of the show and how the final act of season 2 will show us Caitlyn in her completed character arc. Caitlyn 1: the first season

This is the Caitlyn we see in season 1. Optimistic, hopeful and a bit naïve or sheltered you could say. Always seeing the good in people and has an abundance of empathy for the people of Zaun. Fighting is a last resort (not that she's unwilling to defend herself, but if she can resolve it peacefully she will) and killing is also not something she is keen on. (As shown by her intentionally only disabling Sevika's arm despite her trying to kill Vi). Caitlyn 2: the second season (act 1 & 2)

This is the Caitlyn we see develop in act 1 of season 2, after the death of her mother and who I think we'll see for most/half of act 2 (I believe the seeds of her realizing she's becoming someone she doesn't like will form in act 2). Fuelled by grief, revenge and anger. This is the first time she's experienced true loss in her life and she does not cope with it well. She starts by blaming it on the actions of one person, Jinx, like her season 1 self would do, but subsequent attacks on Piltover lead to her generalizing Zaun and her empathy for them runs out. Violence is now her first option and she is more than willing to kill people (she was ready to blow that one gang account's head off during questioning even). Caitlyn 3: the second season (act 3) Completed Caitlyn

Now this is basically pure theory as I write this in the wait between act 1 and act 2. But, I believe this will be Caitlyn at the end of her character arc. Having realized the error of her ways, soul-searched, discovered Ambessa has been manipulating her, looked at her family legacy and its positive impact on Zaun (the filtration system she once weaponized) and concluded that her mother would not want her to go down this route. She has taken responsibility for herself and reconciled (see: had very rough and passionate reconciliation sex) with Vi. We do know that Cait and Vi will reconcile and be on the same side at least based on the trailers. She may have been confronted with the consequences of her decisions on ordinary people in Zaun near the end of act 2 and be horrified. Or just realize this naturally once she 'snaps out' of Caitlyn 2. This restores (most) of her season 1 empathy for the people of Zaun. I say most because as I allude to in the paragraph after this one, she isn't naïve like her season 1 self anymore, and knows now that while the people of Zaun should be respected as human beings and given the best chance possible at a safe, prosperous life like those in Piltover. There are elements in the undercity whom still seek to do harm (justified or not) and need to be treated with caution. It's not blind optimism or compassion, but it's the most a person can give in the real world, not the sheltered one she was raised in. This Caitlyn has the best of both previous iterations and is a Caitlyn who has confronted and (mostly) bested her demons. She has the hope and kind spirit of season 1 Cait, but the pragmatism and toughness of season 2 Cait. She is still willing to kill, but only if necessary, not at will. If confronted by another threat like Jinx, she won't hesitate to take the shot, much like Caitlyn 2, only now it isn't a decision made from anger or a desire for revenge, but dedication to protect as many people as possible like Caitlyn 1. She has managed to wrangle her emotions of grief and rage and learn from them. There may be a scene near the end to show this growth when Jinx inevitably appears and Cait's anger flares up again, only for Vi to assure her for one last time that she's got it, and Cait agrees to let her go fight Jinx on her own. Now, of course most of this is guess work! But, I think it would make sense from a narrative perspective for this to be Cait's arc. I don't believe the writers would want to have her just become a full on antagonist and end her story as a villain, it'd be immensely disappointing for the audience and not up to their standards. And I think this would be a very satisfying way to conclude her character development. (I'm also basing some of it based on her appearance in act 3 lmao)

#arcane spoilers #arcane #caitlyn kiramman #caitvi

22 notes · View notes

jaywaslost · 2 months ago

Text

Schrödinger's Paradox

——

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOKIE @asukamood!!!!!!

In your honor, Dream has been hurt✨️

——

Sypnosis: Sometimes he still feels like parts of him are stuck in the statue he became so familiar with. Cemented to the ground, solid, leaving him hollow with a duty too big and a mind that can only take so much.

For the first time in his life, that night, Dream prayed.

Word count: 3.5k

Trigger warnings?: dissociation, brief reference of child neglect

Everyone has a limit.

Every human, monster, and those in between.

There was only so much one could take before they broke. The mind is a weak, weak thing. Ever so capable, yet the ease at which it can be broken down is baffling. One traumatic experience after the other was all it took to leave someone a shell of what they once were, and it wasn’t like that was hard to achieve.

Dream knew that very well.

A person whose life had been planned out from the very beginning, a lamb to the slaughter since his first breath.

For a guardian of positivity, he was far from being optimistic about his predicament. It’s quite difficult to be once you run out of things to use for distractions, 500 years and counting, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt in control.

Maybe it was the day he woke up from his stone prison. Merely a child, trapped in stone by the one he cared for the most. Very few moments left Dream feeling as helpless as he did back then, although there wasn’t anywhere to go once rock bottom was hit.

He remembers worrying about his brother’s whereabouts that day, uncertain and afraid of everything around him. Nothing looked the way he remembered, the land was barren and the village (or what used to be one) was reduced to nothing. The woman who freed him sounded strange, but she was the only other live presence near him.

Dream remembers trying to understand what she said, waiting for his chance to speak and ask where his family had gone- where everyone was, they wouldn’t have abandoned him so suddenly, would they? H̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶n̶'t̶ e̶n̶t̶i̶r̶e̶l̶y̶ u̶s̶e̶l̶e̶s̶s̶ j̶u̶s̶t̶ y̶e̶t̶.

When his eyes landed on the stump of the tree that once contained his mother’s spirit, time felt like it had frozen.

Between the throb of his aching limbs, the ringing in his head, and the sheer horror at the sight before him, he could no longer concentrate. He didn’t notice the lack of oxygen in his system until black spots had begun to cloud his vision, head heavy and heart aching. The woman yanked on his cape in an attempt to get his attention back,scoffing as he fell without a word. T̶h̶e̶ g̶l̶a̶r̶e̶ s̶h̶e̶ g̶a̶v̶e̶ h̶i̶m̶ f̶a̶r̶ t̶o̶o̶ r̶e̶m̶i̶n̶i̶s̶c̶e̶n̶t̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶s̶ f̶o̶r̶ c̶o̶m̶f̶o̶r̶t̶.

She introduced herself as Lanny, a supposed friend of his mother’s, an ‘aunt’ of his. The name felt slightly familiar, but it rang no bells.

It was safe to say she made sure he’d never forget her after that.

As if his confusion and fear weren’t enough, her words stung like knives. She didn’t take long to tell him what he missed, straight to the point, like she always is.

“Your brother is dead.”

Dream refused to believe her at first, in fact, he had laughed at her words. Her glare sharpened as the situation truly sunk in, his mind bringing all the memories from before his ‘coma’ rushing at him.

The villagers chanting, his brother’s screams, the sickening sound of bones shattering, his pleas, he wanted to throw up.

His last words.

“Don’t forget who I used to be”

Don’t forget who I used to be.

Ḏ̴̢̱̩̩̙̜̘̯̣̰͎͖̖͇̂̇̈́̂̈́̈́̊̃̂͒͐̌͝O̸̡͙̤̠͙̻̭̖̲̲̣̖͉̒̃̔͐̏̔Ń̶̡̨̧̹̯͔̼̝͓̻̫̪̜̒̎̅̓͊’̷̛͔͎̼̽́͒̆̀͒̇͐̇̀̕͜͝͠͠Ṱ̴̨̙̝̱́̒̈̈́̄͆̈́ ̴̘̲̘̓͊͝͝F̶̠͈̹͔̫̰̈́̓͋͒̅̀̏̋̆̑̍͝ͅƠ̴̡̮̖̺̟̟̈̈́̀̍̀̔͐̍̐̆̕͜͝R̸̢̛̫̳̬̗̠̣̗̿͝͠Ǵ̷̡̙̩͔͎̼̞̻̫̫̬̜̽̈́̽͌̽͊̀͂̀͆̽̄͝ͅE̷͈̥͉͓͙̞̓̌͊̈͐̾̆̃̾̽̈ͅͅT̵̡̢̬̜͉̣͈̖̟̟̟̻̼̳̿̓̏͗͋͑͌̔͘-̵͖͓̪̹̈́̂̊

He never felt so lost in his life.

Maybe it was the first time he felt another person’s feelings instead of his own.

Emotions are a complicated concept but one he considered himself good at understanding his entire life. T̶h̶a̶t̶ i̶s̶, u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ i̶t̶ a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ m̶a̶t̶t̶e̶r̶e̶d̶. H̶i̶s̶ i̶g̶n̶o̶r̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ l̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶, h̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ d̶e̶s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶ t̶o̶ c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶a̶i̶n̶.

It was during the first ‘lesson’ Lanny had given him. The woman didn’t explain her reasoning, nor did she truly teach him anything.

She would attack and he would need to defend himself, a moment of hesitation would simply mean the end.

If it were just physical he could’ve handled it, he wasn’t normal by any means, but being unbelievably disoriented with the new sensations did him no favor.

He paused, he tried to ask for help, clarification, but all he got in return was a mouth full of blood and more bruises.

To put it simply: she was ruthless. By the end, he was sore all over, more disoriented than he was before.

It did him no good, it felt less like training and more like he was getting beaten up everyday as a way for her to take her anger out. She constantly reminded him how he was part of the main reason his mother was forever gone, he couldn’t deny it either. Selfishly, he wanted to believe he did nothing wrong. She was his mother, she was meant to be there, yet she never was.

Part of him understood why Nightmare had decided to cut her, and it made him feel like the worst person alive.

She wasn’t fully alive, she wasn’t capable like they were. They existed only because of that, no more, no less. To carry out a job she was too weak to do alone because of those around them.

She never wanted children.

I̶f̶ a̶ g̶r̶o̶w̶n̶ g̶u̶a̶r̶d̶i̶a̶n̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'t̶ h̶a̶n̶d̶l̶e̶ i̶t̶, w̶h̶a̶t̶ m̶a̶d̶e̶ h̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ s̶i̶x̶ y̶e̶a̶r̶ o̶l̶d̶ c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶r̶e̶n̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶?̶

Maybe that was Lanny’s way of making him repay her, for all the trouble he had put her through, all the problems he caused and never even tried to fix.

Simply paying the price for the pain he caused.

H̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ a̶ c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶. S̶h̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ t̶h̶o̶u̶s̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ o̶f̶ y̶e̶a̶r̶s̶ o̶l̶d̶. S̶h̶e̶ k̶n̶e̶w̶ b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶.

His body felt like it was on fire, the first day he couldn’t help but cry to himself. It hurt, his chest felt like it was going to burst, but he couldn’t stop.

The tears didn’t stop coming, making everything worse.

Eventually, they stopped. His energy was lower than ever, but he couldn’t bring himself to rest. It was unbelievably cold, all alone without anyone near him.

No one to sit by, no one to speak to, no one for comfort.

He had to grow some tolerance to the cold, as Lanny said. If he was going to survive he needed to be able to handle some weather conditions or else he had no chance.

As time passed, he found himself tracing cracks in his bones.

Being a statue for so long doesn’t come without consequence. Stone withers, so did his bones. Tiny parts of his fingers had been chipped off, lengthy cracks down his arms and some even reaching his legs.

Ironically enough, his face, if not counting the damage Lanny did, was untouched.

His clothing and gloves covered all the damage, the pressure they put on his bones helped him ignore the sensation a little more easily. It wasn’t like they’d heal for a long time, but he had no choice there.

Sometimes he still feels like parts of him are stuck in the statue he became so familiar with. Cemented to the ground, solid, leaving him hollow with a duty too big and a mind that can only take so much.

For the first time in his life, that night, Dream prayed.

Never once had things gone easy, but he was desperate for a change.

He had always been the desperate type, though.

Hadn’t he?

The most familiar feeling to him was a sense of hopeless desperation. It was the only part of himself that he could pick out when his own feelings were overcrowded by other people’s in his vicinity.

A need he choked on constantly, a yearning on the tip of his tongue that he never truly got out.

He ignored the way his hands went numb, his knees scraping against the ground, blood seeping from every wound left on him. He wasn’t sure how long it was that he stayed in that position, but in the safety of only his own presence, he poured everything out.

He begged as tears rolled down once more, begged that this would all end soon and that he would go back to how things used to be before.

What he would give to take away all the pain his brother had gone through.

He could handle it, he deserved it, he’s the reason for the way things ended up.

If he was a better sibling, if he tried harder, if he spent more time with him, maybe they would’ve still been at the tree, laughing with eachother.

Maybe their mother would’ve been there.

Maybe the villagers would have been nicer.

Treated them better.

Heartbreak followed him wherever he went. A defining part of him. He had plenty to be heart broken about, didn’t he?

The loss of everything when his life had just begun.

He never got the chance to live, never had his first friendship, never had a home.

He never even got to understand himself before everything crumbled.

It left a gaping hole inside of him, one nothing could fill.

Time passed, Lanny left him alone, but the effects of her actions lasted.

It wasn’t until he came face-to-face with the monster that had taken his brother as a vessel that he understood.

Understood the true impact his actions had.

The reason for her insistence.

The malice in her voice.

The most naive part of him believed his brother was still there. That maybe, just maybe, he could have the final conversation he wanted so badly with the other before everything crumbled, but all he got instead was a sickening sense of grief.

A sense of impending doom.

It took him what felt like an eternity to breathe again, but even then, the air felt unbearably heavier than before.

T̶h̶e̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ i̶n̶ f̶r̶o̶n̶t̶ o̶f̶ h̶i̶m̶ w̶a̶s̶ i̶n̶ n̶o̶ w̶a̶y̶ h̶i̶s̶ b̶r̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶. I̶t̶'s̶ s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶s̶, t̶h̶e̶ l̶o̶o̶k̶ i̶n̶ i̶t̶s̶ e̶y̶e̶, i̶t̶ s̶h̶o̶o̶k̶ h̶i̶m̶ t̶o̶ h̶i̶s̶ c̶o̶r̶e̶.

W̶a̶s̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ w̶h̶e̶n̶ h̶e̶ f̶e̶l̶t̶ i̶t̶ a̶l̶l̶ f̶a̶l̶l̶ a̶p̶a̶r̶t̶ f̶o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ f̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶?̶ H̶i̶s̶ f̶r̶a̶g̶i̶l̶e̶ h̶o̶p̶e̶, u̶n̶a̶n̶s̶w̶e̶r̶e̶d̶ p̶r̶a̶y̶e̶r̶s̶, t̶h̶e̶ w̶e̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ o̶f̶ i̶t̶ a̶l̶l̶ l̶a̶i̶d̶ i̶t̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ t̶h̶i̶c̶k̶.

Fighting the very thing that turned his life upside down left him severely unsettled, that much was to be expected.

What wasn’t though, was the way it left him even more dazed than he had been for years before.

It claimed the name of his brother, but the idea of referring to it by that made him feel worse.

If it were a one time thing, he wouldn’t have been so shaken up, but the frequency of these encounters after Lanny had left him never left a chance to rest.

It didn’t take him long to realize it was hunting him down specifically.

H̶a̶d̶ i̶t̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶ d̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ e̶n̶t̶i̶r̶e̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶?̶

Every interaction left Dream feeling more distant than the last, like he was watching himself in third person. Always present, but not quite there.

With time, it became easier to retaliate, but the grief never left.

Every scar was a reminder of his failures.

Every word imprinted in his head.

Maybe, if he had learned of things earlier, he wouldn’t be fighting a parasite with a familiar face.

One wearing the past so clearly.

The world faded into a haze, it hurt less that way.

The idea of interacting with others whilst he was constantly chased sounded both exhausting and like more trouble than it was worth. Despite that, they never seemed to leave him.

His presence was comforting by nature, even attracting animals to him since he was a child. People would be no different. I̶s̶o̶l̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶ w̶o̶r̶s̶e̶, b̶u̶t̶ h̶e̶ c̶r̶a̶v̶e̶d̶ i̶t̶ m̶o̶r̶e̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶ a̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶.

It wouldn’t have been such a problem if some of them didn’t become so..obsessive.

They wanted to feel good, he made it easy.

A simple prospect.

H̶e̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'t̶ b̶e̶g̶i̶n̶ t̶o̶ c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ o̶f̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ t̶h̶e̶y̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶ h̶i̶m̶, t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶ o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶, e̶v̶e̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶m̶s̶e̶l̶v̶e̶s̶, t̶o̶ g̶e̶t̶ h̶i̶m̶ t̶o̶ s̶t̶a̶y̶.

N̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ o̶n̶c̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ h̶i̶s̶ p̶e̶r̶s̶p̶e̶c̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ c̶o̶n̶s̶i̶d̶e̶r̶e̶d̶.

He didn’t get a say, he owed them it.

He was their guardian, if he couldn’t provide them the positivity to keep going with their days, who would?

If he wasn’t happy to do so, who would be?

If he wasn’t happy, how were they meant to believe they could ever be?

It didn’t matter what he did, said, wanted, none of it mattered. He had to stay and play the role he was assigned.

If not him, then who?

He didn’t need their comfort the way they needed his, he had time to get over it all.

He didn’t need companions, his presence was bound to catch up and hurt them eventually.

It was never just him.

When it finally did, some accused him of intentionally leading ‘Nightmare’ to them.

Intentionally harming them for everything.

Too selfish to help them, he tried to ‘get rid’ of them.

He didn’t argue, guilt made its presence known, but it had finally given him reason to go.

T̶h̶e̶ a̶c̶h̶e̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ h̶i̶s̶ a̶r̶m̶ h̶a̶d̶ p̶r̶e̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶l̶y̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶ m̶a̶d̶e̶ h̶i̶m̶ m̶o̶r̶e̶ l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ h̶e̶a̶d̶e̶d̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶ h̶e̶'d̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ a̶d̶m̶i̶t̶. W̶h̶a̶t̶ a̶ w̶a̶y̶ t̶o̶ f̶i̶n̶d̶ o̶u̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ r̶e̶s̶u̶l̶t̶s̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ h̶e̶s̶i̶t̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ L̶a̶n̶n̶y̶ w̶a̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ h̶i̶m̶ s̶o̶ m̶u̶c̶h̶ a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶s̶t̶.

In his daze, he didn’t focus on where he went, portal after portal to go somewhere far from others.

It wasn’t until someone tapped him on the shoulder and spoke that he realized how far he’d gone.

The other was unfamiliar, a face Dream hadn’t encountered before, nor did they seem to recognize who he was.

With a smile on his face, he introduced himself and asked about the place.

His question was answered quickly, but before he could ask their name back, he was getting dragged somewhere by his other arm.

T̶h̶e̶y̶ r̶e̶a̶l̶i̶z̶e̶d̶, d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ t̶h̶e̶y̶?̶

To his surprise, the other’s actions were caused by concern.

He was injured, yes, but it wasn’t easy to tell (with the exception of the arm he was missing as of mere moments ago. It wasn’t like it was bloody, his magic handled that very quickly).

They introduced themselves as Swap, but said to just call them Blue.

Without question, the other began helping to dress his wounds.

Despite protest from Dream, Blue refused to let him leave hurt as he was. He couldn’t do anything about the glaring problem, but he wouldn’t just stand by.

D̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ w̶a̶s̶ a̶l̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ p̶a̶n̶i̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶, t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ o̶f̶ h̶o̶w̶ h̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ m̶e̶a̶n̶t̶ t̶o̶ r̶e̶p̶a̶y̶ t̶h̶e̶ d̶e̶b̶t̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶.

He came up with an excuse to leave quickly after, which the other had let him do quite easily.

O̶d̶d̶l̶y̶ u̶n̶e̶x̶p̶e̶c̶t̶e̶d̶.

He retreated to a barren universe, unexpectedly finding Lanny waiting for him.

She ‘replaced’ the arm he lost and disappeared just as quickly as she came. A one time thing, according to her.

An archer is useless without both their arms, he’d be of no use the way he was.

That day was far from his last encounter with Blue, it seemed that every event from that point on pointed him towards the man.

In some weird twist of fate, they had become friends.

Dream had many doubts at first, how was he to know he wasn’t being used once again? Whether it was for things to be done or to feel good, he’d seen it all.

Over and over, Blue proved himself to be truly honest about his reasoning.

No ulterior motives, he didn’t care for what Dream provided, he cared for Dream alone.

It was strange, he refused to believe it for a long time.

The day he decided to take the risk and trust that, a weight was taken off of him.

The other stuck by him, he wanted him for him, he wouldn’t dare burden him.

The same way he used to as a child, he ran off every time he needed to express an emotion that was considered ‘wrong’ of him.

He couldn’t destroy the one friendship he had.

Vulnerability destroyed his mother, his brother, if he were to show it, it was a matter of time before it destroyed him too.

He had to be strong. There was a point to it all, he had to believe it.

If he didn’t, there was no telling how much longer he’d be able to hold on. He’d cling onto the belief, even as his hands went numb and the light died out.

He was never in control, he wouldn’t ever be.

The only decision he ever had to himself was where he let his heart out.

That was the case, at least. Until he was discovered that was.

R̶e̶m̶i̶n̶i̶s̶c̶e̶n̶t̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶ N̶e̶i̶l̶ f̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ h̶i̶m̶ f̶o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ f̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶, e̶x̶c̶e̶p̶t̶ h̶e̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ d̶o̶ s̶o̶ a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶. o̶n̶e̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ m̶a̶n̶y̶ l̶o̶s̶t̶ b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ o̶f̶ h̶i̶s̶ i̶n̶a̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.

It was a familiar face, Blue had stumbled upon him while he was meant to be on a walk.

Every step he took towards him, Dream moved backwards.

He was discovered at his worst, that was it.

Despite how Blue stopped trying to approach him, Dream’s mind was racing to come up with an excuse for the situation.

He couldn’t speak.

It didn’t feel real.

He wondered, maybe for the 10th time that week, what it all was.

He was playing a game he could never win.

He felt trapped in his own body, watching his movements like a puppet rather than a person. A ghost, watching his life play out until he saw his corpse at the end and realized he was dead the entire time.

He couldn’t run.

He felt insane every time.

He didn’t put a name to this repetitive issue of his. He would need to confront it otherwise, it’d become too real.

C̶a̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ i̶t̶ d̶i̶s̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ f̶e̶l̶t̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶ e̶x̶c̶u̶s̶e̶s̶, l̶i̶k̶e̶ i̶t̶ d̶i̶s̶c̶r̶e̶d̶i̶t̶e̶d̶ t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ w̶h̶o̶ t̶r̶u̶l̶y̶ d̶i̶d̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ p̶r̶o̶b̶l̶e̶m̶. H̶e̶ n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ w̶a̶n̶t̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ i̶t̶.

They ended up sitting together in silence, Dream trying to calm his racing mind as Blue stood far. He never asked anything, Dream was grateful.

They never spoke about that day again.

H̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ u̶s̶e̶f̶u̶l̶, h̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ w̶o̶r̶t̶h̶y̶ o̶f̶ b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶ g̶u̶a̶r̶d̶i̶a̶n̶, h̶e̶ h̶a̶d̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶-̶

H̶e̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ d̶o̶ i̶t̶.

H̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ w̶a̶n̶t̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶ d̶i̶s̶p̶o̶s̶e̶d̶ o̶f̶ j̶u̶s̶t̶ y̶e̶t̶.

They were back to normal for a while, Dream was more careful about his decisions.

Never again did he rush somewhere without checking his surroundings a million times for people, not just danger.

It was until Dream himself seeked the other out that either of them talked about anything.

Originally, they wanted to hang out for some time, but their conversation strayed.

The topic? Feelings.

Dream stayed quiet for the majority of it, his responses concerned with other people’s rather than his own. W̶a̶s̶ i̶t̶ b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ o̶f̶ f̶e̶a̶r̶?̶ o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ f̶a̶c̶t̶ h̶e̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ h̶a̶r̶d̶l̶y̶ t̶e̶l̶l̶ t̶h̶e̶m̶ a̶p̶a̶r̶t̶?̶

Blue switched between asking, talking about things he's seen, and other times about some parts of him he had never shown anyone else.

If it was an attempt to encourage Dream to talk about his own, it was somewhat helpful. It was the most seen he's felt before without saying a word. Funnily enough, they had some very specific shared experiences Dream couldn’t have put into words if he tried.

He was close, very close, to saying more.

Ultimately, he stayed quiet.

If Blue noticed, he let him be.

I̶f̶ h̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ n̶o̶t̶i̶c̶e̶, n̶o̶ o̶n̶e̶ e̶l̶s̶e̶ e̶v̶e̶r̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶. D̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶ t̶o̶ p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ h̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ e̶v̶e̶n̶ i̶f̶ f̶o̶r̶ h̶i̶s̶ o̶w̶n̶ s̶a̶n̶i̶t̶y̶.

About halfway through the conversation, he had started to reflect.

He never wanted to show anything besides happiness around others, motivating them more than he could do for himself.

He spent years trying to bury the part of him that pleaded for another person, to for once be comforted rather than blamed or being the comforter.

It never worked.

Everytime he cried, it felt like he was faking it all. He had his good days, it felt audacious of him to act miserable when he had what may be considered luxury to some. He had many years ahead of him, others were robbed of theirs early. He could get better c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ h̶e̶?̶,, others died miserable.

And yet, it felt as if he told anyone, it would negate all his misery. All the years he spent alone, everything he went through, it wouldn’t sound as bad anymore. It felt like being happy betrayed all the time he spent questioning if he should’ve ever existed to begin with. It felt like it would betray all the guilt he carried for so long, like he never cared.

He didn’t want to get better.

Not saying anything back felt unfair, but the idea of revealing the darkest parts of himself was more terrifying than that.

As a way to compensate, he decided to take off a glove of his.

The one that covered his actual arm, all of the cracks and chips being on full display.

Blue went quiet at the sight, Dream didn’t dare break the silence. The other ended up taking his hand and tracing every crack as gently as he could.

Dream had never known what it felt like to be handled gently before.

The concept was foreign to him.

Another ironic part of him, isn’t it?

For a reason he didn’t know, he wasn’t as terrified as he felt before.

It didn’t mean he would change his mind, but it was comforting.

Maybe, in another lifetime, he wouldn’t be so flawed.

Maybe, in another lifetime, he’d have been okay.

Maybe, in another lifetime, he will be okay.

B̶u̶t̶, n̶o̶t̶ i̶n̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ o̶n̶e̶. N̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ o̶n̶e̶.

H̶e̶ h̶a̶d̶ t̶o̶o̶ m̶u̶c̶h̶ t̶o̶ d̶o̶.

T̶h̶e̶ g̶u̶a̶r̶d̶i̶a̶n̶ o̶f̶ p̶o̶s̶i̶t̶i̶v̶i̶t̶y̶, d̶o̶o̶m̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ a̶ l̶i̶f̶e̶ o̶f̶ m̶i̶s̶e̶r̶y̶ u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ i̶t̶ e̶n̶d̶e̶d̶ a̶n̶d̶ h̶e̶ r̶e̶l̶i̶v̶e̶d̶ i̶t̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ t̶h̶e̶ v̶e̶r̶y̶ b̶e̶g̶i̶n̶n̶i̶n̶g̶.

Maybe, in another life, he wouldn’t have been so conflicting.

Maybe.

24 notes · View notes

medusas-daughter · 1 month ago

Note

Can Nicky actually forgive Agatha in the afterlife ?

Billy is a bit of a proxy for him in the last scene and his answer is yes. But also Billy doesn't seem to want to forgive Wanda at the moment so if we are following the parallels between the two boys, the answer for Nicky is probably a little bit more nuanced.

Sidenote: the parallels in this show are so fun ! Because you can absolutely parallel Wanda and Agatha and Billy and Nicky but also Billy and Agatha are similar as well and both Wanda and Nicky are the ghosts over their shoulders.

This show is just so good.

ooh thank you anon that is a fascinating question!

Wanda and Nicky are definitely both ghosts haunting the entire narrative of Agatha All Along, and Billy and Agatha parallel each other in that both are trying very hard to ignore/avoid their ghosts.

I want to say that Nicky doesn't have anything to forgive Agatha for but that would be too optimistic of me. I think a six year old Nicky doesn't resent Agatha, he loved her very much, and she loved him very much, and then he got too sick and tired of fighting for his life, and then he joined his other mother peacefully, end of story. Agatha didn't wrong him in any way, she tried her best to keep him alive but it was not in her hands. But a Nicky who has been on the other side for centuries, who has watched Agatha use his song, their song, their wholesome little game, to continue killing witches for her own gain, the one thing he didn't want to do anymore on his very last day with her? Who has watched Agatha avoid Rio at all cost? Who is watching Agatha avoid him at all costs? I think there might need to be more nuance there. But I still don't believe he needs to "forgive" her necessarily. I think he would just need to adjust to a full vision of his mother, the way all children must at some point in their lives adjust and acknowledge that their parents are flawed human beings and not these heroes we want them to be. But Agatha needs to forgive herself first, for being human and not being able to keep adeath away from her child forever. Only when she forgives herself can she face him again, and only then will she know just what kind of relationship she can have with Nicky and how he truly feels about her.

Billy was picking up on Agatha's guilt and went out on a limb when he said Nicky would forgive her. But I also think he's projecting his own resentment of Wanda. He's hearing about all these different versions of her, the Avenger who helped save the world, the wicked witch who ruined the lives of an entire town, the broken woman who created a family out of grief and then chose to sacrifice said family for the sake of the people she hurt, and he doesn't see where he fits in all these versions, he doesn't see what he thinks a mother should be, this perfect human with infinite love and wisdom, and he resents her even if he doesn't consciously realize that resentment yet. And his relationship with Agatha here is so important. That line "neither are you" that he tells Agatha has so many layers. It's him accepting that he's not bad himself, that mistakes don't define him as a person. It's also him accepting deep down that Wanda isn't bad she's just human. And maybe that puts him on the path of eventually forgiving her as well just how he believes Nicky would forgive Agatha.

This answer turned out more confusing than anything and that's because I don't have a definitive answer I'm treatign it more as an interesting thought experiment than anything else. Agatha and Nicky and Wanda and Billy are like this messy complicated rectangle of grief and love and they're each haunting each other and projecting shit on each other and leaning on each other in the most beautiful if sometimes unexpected ways and I hope we get to see more of them in the future 💜

#agatha harkness #billy maximoff #nicholas scratch #wanda maximoff #agatha all along #wandavision #rio vidal #anon ask #anon #medusasdaughter answers

27 notes · View notes

bat-besties · 2 years ago

Text

People often say Cass’ reason for identifying as nonbinary is “not understanding gender” and while it’s often a joke, I do think it’s the complete opposite to Cass’ knowledge. (I’m using she/her for canon, this applies however and whichever way you headcanon Cass’ gender identity)

I feel it’s often coming from a place of her not understanding language, but gender is so much more than language. A lot of sociologists and gender theorists would kill for the ability to perfectly understand body language and then travel across (at least) China, Vietnam, and the US observing people in urban and rural environments, in both peaceful and violent situations.

In many ways, her lack of preconceptions about gender or need for language to shape her observances would make her more able to see the reality of gender performance rather than ideals. The idea that women are weak or men are unemotional would be foreign to her.

As a child she’s isolated, but she still trains with the League of Assassins briefly. Unfortunately, the first time she is heavily gendered is as a disguise and a weapon in the most traumatic event in her lift, which undeniably shapes her attitude to femininity as this post covers.

But as she runs, her world suddenly expands to, well, the entire world.

Her gender identity may have come to words and self-expression in America, but the first place she would be able to really observe people is in south China, likely passing through Guangdong and Guangxi over the course of a year or two. That’s a really formative period, and as I personally think Lady Shiva is from south China (specifically Yunnan), is also unintentionally Cass connecting with her heritage.

She’s a homeless and very traumatised nine year old, so obviously her experience would have been overall awful. However, a teenage Cass still strongly believes in the sanctity of life and the capacity for goodness in people, and I have to think that while she’s seen a lot of darkness, she’s seen a lot of goodness too. Cass isn’t always curious about things she doesn’t understand (as with her reading), but she has to have been observant to keep travelling and keep escaping from Cain.

She will have seen the wealthy gamblers of Macau, the street vendors of small-town Vietnam, the pickpockets of Gotham. She will have seen different gender norms across cultures, even if she doesn’t know how each language reflects those norms. She would have to adjust to each new place, and refine her body language reading more generally (like how Americans smile way too much), including gendered readings.

Cass will have seen a million couples, straight and gay. Pairs of women afraid to hold hands but projecting their nervousness on the first date like a signal. Unhappy marriages hidden by false smiles for the neighbours. Elderly couples where the man still walks on the road side of the pavement.

Considering herself an orphan, she will have seen mothers nursing their babies, fathers pushing their daughters on swingsets, sisters yelling at each other one moment and laughing the next.

Watching unobserved, she would see all kinds of women in the city. Groups of women going from club to club in high heels, schoolgirls copying each other’s homework on the train, business women in neat makeup and a purposeful walk.

She will have met other homeless girls like herself. Despite being unable to speak with them she might recognise the guarded set to their eyes, the way they are always poised to run - but they might have a smile for her, and a willingness to share a sheltered spot. They might have cut her hair spiky and short, or taught her to play cat’s cradle.

Unfortunately, she will have seen predatory behaviour, men who leer or talk with deceptively friendly tones to a little girl alone. (I know she’s meant to “discover” men being attracted to her in the comics as a teen but that’s optimistic). When those men approach other girls, she doesn’t hesitate to protect them.

But she would have seen so much joy too - boys playing football and grown men joining in, old men sitting on plastic chairs and observing the street together, gangly teen boys play-fighting.

On the streets, clustered and sometimes hidden, she would have seen people whose clothing and body language doesn’t match their bodies. Before Cass knows the words transgender and drag and gender nonconforming, she knows that these people are at risk for being different - at risk like she might be, if she couldn’t convince herself she only needs her fighting skills to protect herself. She wouldn’t need words to take each person as they look to her, to have an amorphous and wordless idea of performativity.

And then of course, she has Barbara, and Batgirl, and finally language.

So, I think Cass’ gender identity is something she discovers with the background of this huge tapestry of humanity she’s observed over the years. And if she goes “fuck that it makes no sense”, that’s a deeply informed, nuanced Fuck That.

#cassandra cain #cass cain #batgirl #orphan dc #black bat #dc #batfam #trans cass cain #trans cassandra cain #i'm very passionate about this #i wish we got more of cass' lost years generally #because 9 to 15 is such a formative time #this is all based on her original batgirl run #as my favourite cass #and where we get the macau detail and that panel with vietnamese writing on the street signs #gender is not about knowing english words or american norms!!!!

442 notes · View notes

yandere-sins · 10 months ago

Note

Ummm... Not a smutty thought, but I was having a thought and I'd like our resident yandere enthusiast's opinion. You know Raphael (BG3)? Well, a huge chunk of the fandom is obsessed with him and I know many people who want to jump his bones. The only issue with that is... he's only attracted to himself. So, you know, I guess I am asking what you think it would be like if Raphael really did get interested in Tav/Durge? Does he try to change them? Does he mansplain and manipulate his way into making himself sound reasonable? How does the savior of the city even react to their very powerful, very creeping admire?

As someone who is, in fact, obsessed with Raphael (he's probably my favorite character, and yes, my taste is that bad, and I am choosing him over Halsin, I'm so sorry ;;), I can only tell you that even in my daydreams with him, I agree that it's probably not 'love' what he harbors for someone else but merely 'interest'. But people have married for less, so why worry, lol. All he wants his object of interest to be is... interesting. That's what we can give him! xD (And yes, I do believe I can fix him, but if we're talking Yandere!Raphael, even I give up, lol)

Also, I am one chapter into a Yandere!Raphael story, and I had to ask myself these questions, too, so you came to the right place >:3

After establishing my credentials, here is what I was going off on as to how Raphael could even be seen getting a darling:

Raphael isn't above chasing someone. Not necessarily for very long, but he does make quite a few attempts before sending you to hell (hehe). That is if you are interesting enough to chase. So you need to have something that will keep him holding onto wanting to chase you, be it strength, power, or my personal favorite (and yes, my delulu is that this is one of the reasons he is so interested in the Tav), no interest in him. And he has Korilla stalk Tav; let's never forget that. So, he can be interested in someone and make them majorly uncomfortable while at it.

As narcissistic as he is, he likes it when you do what he says. I am sure he's not above wanting to be admired(considering he admires himself so much and what his goals are). He's all about someone raving about how amazing he is, and if they prove to be useful, then their soul is twice as valuable to have. There is value in raising and shaping the object you desire into what you want them to be, even if it takes some effort. (The same could be said about Mizora if I think about it...)

Strictly speaking, Raphael has someone akin to a darling: Hope. And he clearly is amused by and keeps tormenting her. I am not usually one to encourage more than one darling, but I am willing to forgo Hope's darling status and say she'd be an excellent support to a darling because she's so optimistic still? Despite the torture, she seemed pretty courageous. She could influence the darling, which, in turn, makes them more interesting again. The principle is: He did it once, nothing is stopping him from doing it again. And clearly, he can be interested in people other than himself. (Not to say that his darling will always have his full attention all the time only on them, but I do see that he'd have a good reason to come back to the House of Hope to check on them because the thought of them lures him back.)

(There are surely more reasons I came up with, but it's been almost three months since I wrote my story, so I honestly can't remember lol...)

As to what he'd do with them... it depends on what the backstory is like. What he wants from his darling and how his darling reacts depends greatly on the situation. There is always the good ol' "boredom" excuse but in such a big world with so many possibilities there can always be a good reason how he comes into possession of his darling and why he keeps them.

In most cases, I think he'd try to break them, use them for his own means, manipulate them into turning away from what they've known/loved and towards worshipping him, or simply want to see their suffering. It's a matter of what kind of interest he has in the darling.

In some research I did (and sorry, I cannot find the source, and it might be wrong since I'm not really into the DnD lore that much), I read that even if cambions are raised only with the "good" parent, they'd still be evil by nature. So yeah. Maybe he just enjoys watching his darling's dreams and hopes be shattered continuously and watching them slowly crawl back to his feet, asking for forgiveness even if they'll try refusing him again the next day. Or maybe he wants them to make a contract with him by all means necessary.

Overall, it's a big game for him. It's fun. Watching you lose the light in your eyes or cave in and do as he says no matter how degrading it is. Raphael just wants to control you and have his way exactly how he wants it, but he doesn't mind breaking down your resistance piece by piece over a certain amount of time until he has you exactly where he wants you to be and how he wants you to be. It makes things more interesting and you more valuable. And the more you struggle, the better, so do your worst.

Hope I could answer some questions! Many of them depended on the scenario we're working with, but I hope you got the gist! I'm so feral normal about Raphael, but I hope I didn't ramble too much, lol.

#yandere #yandere talk #raphael bg3 #raphael #yandere raphael #yandere!raphael #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere oneshots #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW

75 notes · View notes

phoenixinthefiles · 11 months ago

Text

Six?...it Only Felt Like Four

Pavitr Prabhakar x reader ❤️...🔸🔷🪻 I hope and pray I got him right @vhstown @daydreaming-en-pointe @1610milesperhour

The incessant ringing of the doorbell shakes you out of your daze.

Your homework could wait. It was only the start of the school year; one rushed assignment could be excused. Plus, now that you focused, the sound of the doorbell was a little rhythmic, which could only mean...

You were glad the only other person in the house right now was napping, no one could make fun of you for the embarrassing mad dash you made to the front door.

You yelled out that you were coming and stopped in the hallway mirror to check your appearance.

good enough.

With that, you open the door to see your boyfriend who has a smile on his face to match yours.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" He exclaims. Your brows immediately furrow, and your eyes follow his as they flicker to his hands.

He's holding a pretty blue and gold box with a ribbon so perfectly tied you know he couldn't have done it himself. It's really nice but...

"It's nowhere near Valentine's Day, that was like six months ago."

His smile doesn't falter.

"Only six months? that's close enough, nothing has really changed."

"It's summer," you deadpan.

"It feels like nothing has changed."

He says it in an airy way like it's just so obvious.

Like he hadn't been complaining about the historically low temperature when you first met this winter.

You shake your head with a small smile.

"We've been together for four months; six months is a long time."

He smiles to smirk, and you prepare yourself for what's coming next.

Here we go.

"My love, I wish us much more than six months."

You scoff incredulously. But He grins with a proud look on his face.

He's still as optimistic as the day you met him.

"Pavi."

"But six months is half a year. Half a year plus half a year is a full year, and a full year from Valentine's Day is Valentines Day.-

"Unless it's a leap year" you interject.

Pav continues as if you hadn't spoken at all, "So, it is basically Valentine's Day Eve. Which means I'm early, and it's after noon so... Happy Valentine's Day!"

He shoves the gift out towards you but instead of taking it, you blink at him dumbly.

"I don't know if I should be more concerned about the mental gymnastics you just did, or the fact that I understood you."

"Don't be concerned at all, you're just assimilating to me."

You grin, "that's concerning."

He rolls his eyes and the head tilting he does causes some of his, insanely perfect, hair to fall in front of his eyes.

Your fingers itch to smooth it back.

"Stop deflecting," he says, a knowing grin forming.

You sigh and your eyes flicker from the gift back to him.

"I didn't get you anything." Your hand reacts on your impulses and you brush back the hair from his eyes. He freezes for a moment and his shoulders rise close to his ears as he smiles warmly.

You return his smile with a far more shy one and the you two stand there, grinning like idiots, until his eyes make their way back down to the gift in his hands and he clears his throat.

"I don't believe receiving a gift is part of gift giving."

"When did you become a dictionary?" You scoff playfully.

"Deflectinggg." he responds in a sing-song voice, tilting the gift box in a taunting manner.

You sigh again and take it from him, "Are you sure?"

"Ayyōṭā, open it."

You run your fingers over the raised decorations on the box. It's a pattern of swirls that almost look like the Mehndi you'd seen Pav drawing on himself. It wasn't as unique though, it was definitely made with a pattern, but the gold brush seemed done by hand.

You squinted and tilted the box around a little.

"Did you do this?"

"The box? no. I did tie the beautiful and symmetric bow."

"Uh huh." You give him your most skeptical look.

He cracks with a roll of his eyes.

"Auntie was very willing to assist me."

"She probably wouldn't have been if she knew you would take all the credit."

"And certainly not if she knew you wouldn't open it."

You glare at him and his stupid charming smile for a minute, before giving in and carefully unwrapping the bow. Opening the lid revealed a hand painted yo-yo.

When you first met he had attempted to impress you by showing the tricks he could do on a yo-yo. It was really corny, but it still drew you in so you didn't have any room to talk.

You gasp and carefully take it out.

"Pav, it's so pretty."

He grins boyishly and his shoulders rise once more.

With the hand not holding the box, you run your fingers over the yo-yo; aimlessly tracing the designs.

"I didn't know you could paint. I mean I know you've done Mehndi but I didn't know the steady hand transferred over."

"Mehndi," He responds, mocking your pronunciation.

You roll your eyes and he laughs softly.

"Painting is easier; there's no possibility of Aadhya carrying out her threats when my hand cramps."

A giggle bubbles out of your lips, more out of nervousness than amusement, because his becomes a little too soft as he smiles at you.

His personality is so infectious, he lights up and practically glows when he smiles, and when he turns that radiance on you?

Your heart practically sings in affection.

"I'm happy you like it."

"Of course I do, it's amazing. But it might be a bit too much for someone who's only just learned walk-the-dog."

"It's a very impressive walk-the-dog. I was fooled!"

"That's not as big of a compliment as you think."

He rolls his eyes and mumbles something but you barely hear it, focusing on the yo-yo in your hands instead.

Before you can second guess yourself, you throw your arms around him.

He lets out a small squawk, but his arms immediately come to wrap around you.

It's insanely probably ridiculous to be so happy over something so seemingly inane.

But it's Pav, nothing he does is meaningless. A hand-painted yo-yo because you learned one trick?

It wasn't ridiculous when it came to him.

He's a constant positive, he's stunningly stunningly soft-hearted, and he listens to you ramble about the littlest things. As evidenced by your new gift.

He's your valentine.

Just six months too early.

#atsv pavitr #pavitr prabhakar #pavitr x reader #atsv fanfiction #fromphoetou #atsv

65 notes · View notes