#she’s seriously such a tragic character in a way I think is overlooked

[bearionette]

I’ll remember you

[phoukanamedpookie]

Unpopular opinion: Azula is not delusional.

Something I've noticed a lot when I come across analysis about Azula as a character is that people often presume that because Azula is "crazy," her worldview has no rational basis. People talk about her thoughts and feelings as if they are purely a result of her personal dysfunction and have no basis in her experience of the world.

But that flat-out ignores or overlooks what Azula actually says when she lets her guard down a teensy bit.

For instance, her inability to open up to people is often portrayed as an obsession with not seeming weak. But on the show, she never says anything to that effect. That's more like Ozai's thing*. When Azula's confronting her habit of using fear to control people, her rationale is not about strength and weakness. What she actually says is, "Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way."

Azula is exceptionally smart and perceptive. I keep repeating this, but it often gets overlooked when people talk about her worldview. Azula is acutely aware that she uses fear to control people, and she's acutely aware of why she does it. Everything in her world—everything that she can see, hear, and touch—tells her that she cannot trust anyone, that they will abandon and/or betray her when given the opportunity. The only way to keep them from doing that is to make them too scared to even think about abandoning or betraying her. And it works! It works splendidly for Ozai, and it worked for her too until it didn't.

Tragically, life has proven Azula right many times. Everyone she cares about or opens herself up to leaves her or stabs her in the back. How do you prevent that? Making people too terrified to even consider it. She's not delusional for believing this. She'd be delusional to ignore it.

Azula is wrong about some really important things but she's not dumb. This is, I believe, what would make healing or rehabilitating her so challenging: everything she's experienced in her short life has proven to her that she has no reason to trust anyone.

How do you get through to somebody like that? Megatons of patience, care, and gentleness. There is no magic bullet. There is no shortcut. The people who can do this would have to be extremely motivated or a bodhisattva. The main thing that would prevent someone from getting through to Azula is not that she's too far gone to change, but that the vast majority of people don't have what it takes.

*Seriously, this is a man who gloats to the fucking Avatar about having "all the power in the world." This is the same guy who taunts a preteen survivor of a genocide about how he and his people are too weak to deserve to live. This dude is fixated on seeming and being all-powerful. Zuko pisses him off because the boy can't hide having a will of his own, and Ozai can't control that, which jeopardizes the all-powerful image he projects to the world.

[chirpsythismorning]

Mike’s monologue makes so much more sense when you remember, he’s a frickin’ Paladin...

Paladins take their oath very seriously, and I do think that the whole theme of friends don't lie, is in part loosely inspired by this oath that Paladin's make, and how one of their most defining qualities is swearing by tenants of honesty.

All of us often overlook the D&D aspect in the show and how central of a role it plays, arguably even more so than parallels with the hundreds of movies they refer to for inspiration, and that's why this moment of Mike's monologue with El in s4, along with Mike's monologue with Will in season 2, is so important to consider if we want to be ready for what's about to go down in s5.

It's as if Mike is acting out an oath of devotion to these two characters. Though his oath to Will comes off a lot more genuine, it's unfortunately undermined slightly by the oath he presents to El, because they're both attempting to be an oath of devotion. By saying he loved El the moment he saw her and how his life started at that very moment, he's contradicting what he said to Will just hours before about how meeting El was simple dumb luck, as well as directly paralleling (and in turn undermining) what he told Will back in s2, which is that meeting Will/asking to be his friend was the best thing he's ever done.

Mike is inadvertently breaking an oath he once made, while also creating a new oath that stands on false grounds.

We've talked about the whole Watch out dominos, your dominos are gonna fall, and how it's related to Mike because he's in the shot equally to Argyle as he says it. But seriously you guys, it's related to Mike.

It's about the internal struggle he's been having for a few years now, growing and growing and him sort of refusing to examine it closely, because he knows that he's in a situation where he's supposed to be devoting himself to El. It's the expected path, and not only that but he also feels indebted to El after all she has done for him (also what the ga thinks which is why they argue even if Mike doesn't love El, they shouldn't break up bc it would hurt her.... Mike shares the ga's logic...), and so as it becomes more and more clear to him that she loves him and wants him to love her, he's trying his best to accept it, while also not being able to because he knows deep down he's breaking an oath that he already made if he follows through with this.

While I think there are a bunch of different factors at play, very likely Mike is aware of what his heart truly wants, which is why he's having such a hard time following through with devoting himself to El. Because deep down, he knows he's already devoted to someone else.

Luckily (tragically), Mike is breaking his oath because he thinks it's the right thing to do. Which just makes him even more of a Paladin if you think about it. The fact that him not wanting to break an oath is why he's been struggling for so long.

I don't think he knows that he's hurting Will while he's doing it, because the oath has more to do with him and being honest with himself, and I don't think he knows he's hurting El by doing this either, because he's under the assumption she wants him to say all of these things. He had doubts originally because there were reasons to have doubts as a result of Mike stalling for so long, but I just don't think Mike would go through with the monologue, if he thought that it wasn't what El wanted.

What makes Mike's arc so painfully tragic, is that he is led to believe at this point that El wants him romantically more than she needs him and that's the whole problem. He is unable to love her in the way she wants him to at this point, and he knows this. And he's still holding back.

That's another thing that's so sad about Mike going through with it in the end anyways, because I think a lot of his guilt stems from knowing that El wants him to love her, and yet he's unable to meet her halfway. And then going through with it in the end, when he doesn't truly mean it, that's... like he's breaking every code in his own book by doing this.

And it is likely going to really affect him.

The dominos are gonna fall. Not just for him, but for everyone.

The good news is that there is a standard way for this to play out, based on D&D rules and interestingly enough, it fits quite well with what s5 is likely to entail...

[crisiscutie]

People just don't get that redemption isn't for everyone

Yes people can do it but sometimes it's best to say it's irredeemable

Sephiroth has been through so many tragedies to the point,it feels like redemption is one big joke to him,cuz he already reached the point of no return

Personally I feel like the trope of "everything is forgivable" is overused or overlooked way too often,there are things in the world that can't forgive and sometimes punishment is better than forgiveness

In Sephiroth's case, I don't think forgiveness will change anything,rather it's impossible,no one who knows him is willing to forgive him,hence some may say he has no faults at all like Hojo cuz that guy is messed up AF

Take it like this: If a guy who commits an unforgivable crime and someone says he should be forgiven based only on the fact that he was abused or insane or he went through some traumatic shit etc,it would not only feel ridiculous, it's outright selfish

Should Sephiroth be forgiven for the Nibelheim Incident just bcuz it was a crime of passion or he was mentally unstable and should get off free of guilt? No,cuz he did something terrible to others and that should be accepted

I've seen too many cases of normalisation or glorification or defence of characters' faults and apparently "you're a bitch for pointing out others' faults" these days and "it's not nice to have criticisms"

I saw some deep toxic shit about normalised toxicity in fiction lately

I mean I love Seph,but god I'm heavily aware he's evil as hell

-🌹

Yup. Sephiroth's path is set in his mind. For what reason would he deviate from his path? He decided to continue the cycle of pain. And Cloud could've continued that cycle after him if it wasn't for Tifa.

I want to state this: I'm against Sephiroth being redeemed. One reason is that no character ever deserves redemption. Redemption is a complex, grueling process that involves self-reflection, remorse, and a genuine desire to change. It requires a willingness to confront your actions and the consequences you inflicted upon others. Sephiroth, so far, has done none of this. He felt justified in his actions. And the few times when he does acknowledge what he has done? He rubs it in Cloud's face, for goodness' sake. He did this in Advent Children, 7R and even the original FF7, especially during that one iconic scene that shall not be named. Sephiroth has displayed constant cruelty to Cloud, his party and the planet. What on Gaia justifies him deserving redemption? Because of his awful and traumatic past?

Let me say this: the events leading up to and following Sephiroth's birth and childhood were undeniably tragic, and he cannot be blamed for them in any way. However, as an adult with the ability to choose his own path, he made the decision to inflict harm upon others, especially those who ZERO involvement in his suffering.

And like I said before, introducing a potential redemption arc for Sephiroth would actually undermine Cloud's own arc and diminish its impact. Sephiroth serves as a warning to Cloud. He is his dark mirror and representing of what a "hero" could become.

I would also like to mention Aerith, who, like Cloud, serves as another mirror to Sephiroth and had a deeply traumatic past. However, instead of succumbing to darkness like Sephiroth, she remained kind and hopeful. Sephiroth's redemption may also conflict with her story and role as well.

To sum it up, redemption would require Sephiroth to question his beliefs and recognize the pain and suffering he has caused. He's not going to do that. He believes himself to be in the right, and the pain he caused to be "justice" in his mind.

And as you mentioned, it's clear that forgiveness is out of the question for him now. Cloud and Tifa, in particular, hold a deep hatred towards him and are determined to put an end to him. It sucks how Tifa's grudge with Sephiroth has been largely overlooked, both by the fandom and CANON (seriously, what were the writers thinking...). Let's not forget the sheer terror poor Tifa had in 7R when she saw Sephiroth in front of Jenova's pod.

Both she and Cloud had been scarred (literally and figuratively) by this man for the rest of their LIVES. They deserve every blow they can get on Sephiroth...

Anyways, rant over. Please stop trying to make Sephiroth "work". He was a sweet baby that became an evil bastard. Let's appreciate the good and bad of the Crisis Cutie!

(Opinion piece if it isn't obvious)

[animebw]

Re: oshi no ko fans,

What'd they do?

Yeah, I guess I should probably give some context to that statement.

So, for those not keeping up with Oshi no Ko, last week's episode featured a plotline where a character on a reality dating show is swarmed with cyberbullying after a minor dust-up, and it escalates so badly that she tries to commit suicide. It's a brutally effective episode that really captures the horror of online abuse, the almost addictive masochism of scrolling through comment after comment calling for your death and dragging your name through the mud. It's easily the best Oshi no Ko has been, and I will stand by that opinion despite how messy things are going to get in the rest of this post.

See, this plotline doesn't just a wholly fictional exploration of online abuse; it has a very direct real life inspiration. Shortly after the manga started publishing, Japanese wrestler Hana Kimura committed suicide following a chain of events very much like this. She was on a reality show, she had a minor altercation with a fellow contender, and she was bombarded with online abuse until she took her own life. It's likely Akasaka already had the general idea for this plotline sketched out before this event, but the connections are so specific that it's pretty clear this real-life event influenced how it played out in the story. And in the anime at least, some of the mean comments the character gets are lifted wholesale from comments Kimura received during her harassment. So clearly, Oshi no Ko is pulling on this real life tragedy to further its themes of darkness in the entertainment industry and how it affects people.

The problem is, Kimura's mom isn't happy about it.

See, apparently no one- nobody working on the manga or the anime- thought to ask Kimura's family if it was okay to use their tragic circumstances as part of their narrative. Nobody bothered to check if it maybe might be a little insensitive to drag out the corpse of a dead girl for an edgy reincarnation revenge idol drama without asking that girl's parents if they were okay with it. So the mom did an interview where she expressed her anger at the whole thing, and how her daughter was essentially being used as "free source material," which, yeah, seriously, how the fuck did nobody check with her before this went to air? I don't care how good your intentions are or how excellent the finished product turned out, you do not use the real words and comments that drove a girl to suicide without getting the go-ahead from her family first. She even mentioned that a friend of hers watched the episode without knowing its content beforehand and it basically triggered all those traumatic memories all over again. It's just really fucking ugly all around.

Now, the whole point of the episode in question is about how terrible online harassment is and how you should never toss mean words around online so thoughtlessly, because you could be hurting people in ways you can't possibly understand. So you'd think that Oshi no Ko fans, being faced with this very understandable anger from someone with more stake in this mess than any of them either well, would take the situation with grace and try to reach an understanding. You'd think they'd try to have the kind of compassion in discussing this difficult subject that Kimura and the character inspired by her never got.

If only.

Now, to be clear, it's not like the entire Oshi no Ko fanbase ganged up on Kimura's mother. Plenty of people took the situation in stride and treated it fairly. But even just on the English speaking side of the internet, I've already seen way too many people becoming exactly the kind of mindless hate mob the show portrayed in that critical episode. And while I can't speak for the Japanese side, people who keep up with Japanese online spaces have confirmed there's harassment going on over there too. People saying she's only doing this for attention (gee it's almost like HER DAUGHTER'S DEATH IS BEING USED WITHOUT HER CONSENT), she shouldn't complain because it's raising awareness about cyberbullying (which totally justifies cyberbullying her in response, naturally), even claiming the arc totally wasn't inspired by Kimura's circumstances and it was just a coincidence the storyline released around the same time. Which is funny, because I distinctly remember when the episode first came out I saw tons of people praising how it took inspiration from Kimura's circumstances and how it was totally speaking to real life events so you had to take it seriously. But now Kimura's mother comes out saying she's upset with how it was handled, and suddenly those same people are going "Uuuuuuh actually it's just a coincidence, if you think it's intentional you're stupid."

I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd say it's almost like they never actually cared about the message. Like they only wanted to use the shiny coat of real-life tragedy to massage their own egos for liking Good(tm), Serious(tm) works of fiction that talk about Real(tm) Issues(tm), only to discard that talking point when it no longer suited their narrative. I might even call them a bunch of worthless cunts who care about protecting themselves from even the mildest emotional discomfort and moral uncertainty more than they give a damn about anyone else's genuine struggles with actual issues far beyond what any of these fuckweasels will ever have to face. Hell, if I was feeling particularly spicy, I might even connect this bullshittery to my criticisms of Oshi no Ko as a whole and point out how despite its thin veneer of deep societal criticism, this show really is the kind of vapid, pandering edge-masquerading-as-depth spectacle that presents just enough illusion of substance for people to feel smart for watching it without actually challenging them to leave their comfort zone of an "edgy" male antihero saving the day and making all the cute girls fall for him, thus attracting the exact same kind of insincere, cowardly fanbase that reacts to the slightest real challenge to their sense of self-righteousness by become the exact kind of monster the story they supposedly adore was trying to warn them against.

But that's probably unfair to all the normal, perfectly well-adjusted Oshi no Ko fans who don't deserve to be lumped in with this vocal minority of losers. So I'll call it a day here. Bottom line, ask before you use a real person's misery for Content(tm), don't be a dick when people criticize the fiction you enjoy, and online harassers can go suck on an exhaust pipe.

[endingboyhansel]

I want to ramble about William Black/Scythe here (I’m so sorry to all my moots who know nothing about Fable)

He’s quite a tragic character when you really dig into him. First of all, he’s soulless. He’s been soulless for centuries on centuries. And the reason he’s soulless is because he saved Albion from the Court by using the Sword of Aeons. Now, the effects of not having a soul have seem to worn him down immensely. While, yes, he was the first Archon, I reckon he wasn’t the most stable ruler, especially with his children being anti-Heroes, if you were (I’ll see myself out). He became ill, and I seriously think that without a soul it made him much more susceptible to this illness - later the Corruption. The illness made him appear much more like a mummy than a human being no matter his immortality. Of course I’m just summarising at this point. But this illness must have taken root where his soul would have been. Scythe as a character is blunt and snarky. He’s seen centuries of pain and anguish, and it’s made him a bitter person. This kind of makes me think that he’s unable to feel positive emotions due to his lack of soul.

But quite frankly I think William is lonely. He’s never had an actual connection to anyone, and if he did, they’d be cut away brutally or tragically. His children became horrible people, to the point where he ran away from the kingdom he ruled. Nostro was his apprentice, the man who founded the Heroes Guild, but he died in Scythe’s company.

The Scythe-Nostro relationship is really interesting to me, because after Nostro dies, Scythe disappears again. He’s devastated. Even though Nostro was corrupted and Scythe was disgusted by his actions, he came back to keep him company as he died. It’s very telling of Scythe’s character - he came to care for Nostro. Take this sentence from Tales of Albion: Scythe with warm affection told Nostro of the good things he had done in his life. This seems completely out of character for Scythe at first, until you remember how he must have felt like an outsider all his life. It’s a telling master-apprentice relationship.

Unpopular opinion, but I think having Scythe take care of Rose in the Love choice of Fable 2 is a really good option, and a really interesting dynamic. Rose has experienced pain on the streets of Bowerstone Old Town, and Scythe has a disappointment in his children for what they became and how they destroyed the Old Kingdom. Looking after Rose could teach him to open up more, and experience a life that he could never have had among Heroes or even the normal villagers. In Rose’s letter she describes Scythe as “very thin and wears a hood and looks scary, but he's nice and I feel safe with him here”, which proves this. Scythe also has Rose’s best interests at heart, as Rose closes the letter with “we'll [Rose and Sparrow] be together again one day. He promised me”.

And honestly, I think Scythe’s only goal at this point is to die. He’s had centuries of suffering and seeing Albion in turmoil. The reason we haven’t seen him since the days of the Hero of Oakvale is because he’s fed up. He’s searching for some way to die. The description of his warhammer says that it's foretold that he will return to Albion. But this just raises questions. If he’s not in Albion, where is he? Searching for something he cannot find.

In conclusion, Scythe is one of the more complex characters in the Fable universe. While he may not have changed himself completely like Reaver, or became a constant presence to our three protagonists like Theresa - our other two immortal characters - Scythe is someone with so much overlooked depth. Maze was correct when he described him as a shell. Yet at the same time he has been locked in that shell since the battle with the Court.

[mytalemyworld]

THOUGHTS ABOUT FLIGHT TO YOU / DRAMA RECOMMENDATION

I am a simple girl, I saw Wang Kai wearing a pilot costume and clicked the summary. It turned out to be interesting enough for me to give it a try. And I am telling you, it's so good so far. It might be too early to say that but it's also a refreshing modern cdrama which is a pleasant surprise.

The main characters get off on the wrong foot as usual, but not in a childish way because the main conflict is very fragile and that's why I find it very convincing.

The female lead, one of the best female leads I've ever watched in a cdrama, is a pilot and works at Freight Department of a company called Luzhou Airlines. While she expects to be promoted to captain she finds out the department will be closed and the crew will be transferred to Passenger Department. She is the only female pilot in the company and her superiors start giving her a hard time, because they don't think that a female pilot can be competent and skillful.

The male lead-thankfully not a misogynstic bastard like his superior- has different reasons for not approving of the female lead as a potential captain. He thinks she overlooks some safety measures and is too arrogant. That's interesting because you usually see this trait is associated with male characters. Actually you get used to seeing that all roles reverse while watching it.

By the way he is a control freak but there's a reason for that which is very tragic. They argue a lot and she never hesitates to get into a conflict with him openly. So he ends up being her instructor and she needs his approval to continue her career as a pilot at the new department.

This is not one of those usual workplace romance stories. The settings, the environment, it's all about the lives of the flying crew which is very intriguing. The conflicts are so solid, the decisions are serious, the struggles of the leads are very difficult. As for romance, the slowest burn ever maybe but it makes sense.

This is the first scene where I feel their chemistry.

They are in a flight simulator. He is so strict about the dress code and the appearances of the pilots so he asks her to remove her earrings. She is like what can be wrong with my earrings and so done with him ofc but does what he says.

When she gives her earrings to him, he is like why are you giving them to me, and asks if she has pockets. This is the face she gives him:

LMAO. She is like “not my problem, you take care of it.”

When he decides to overlook her attitude and doesn't take her seriously, she takes his hand and puts her earrings into it.

In the end he puts her earrings into his pocket.

I just love the whole interaction!

(Meanwhile Cheng Xiao 1-0 Gu Nanting)

I think I’ll keep on writing posts about the show because I am seriously addicted to it.

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

Another thing I like about how MAKKARI’S DISABILITY IS DONE in both the Eternals comics and movie is that there’s no way around her being Deaf, she just uses sign language to speak and others use it to speak back to her. A really common and very frustrating thing I see in a lot of fantasy and sci-fi is using magic, technology, superpowers, etc to take away the effects of disability to the the point the character is really only disabled in theory. For instance, a blind character who has techno-organic eyes so that she can not only see perfectly, but better than anyone who doesn’t have them, and these never go out, or lose charge, or malfunction, or get used to hold her hostage as the lead singer for Gene Co against her will. To be clear, I do really love when people use the fantastical aspects of their world to explore how people with disabilities would be able to use said fantastical aspects as aids, techniques, etc., in the same way that real-world disabled people use aids, techniques, etc in our world using what they’ve got. Seriously, I REALLY love that. And I’m in no way trying to say “this character isn’t Really Disabled unless they are suffering sufficiently” or anything like that, but there’s just a point for me in a lot of fiction where it seems like a writer wants to write a disabled character without ever touching on them actually being disabled. Bringing it back to the eyes example, there’s never any mention of how she paid for them, if she paid for them or they’re covered by something else, if she needs to remember to charge them, it’s just “oh yeah technically she’s biologically blind but she has super-eyes now” and it just never comes up again. You get to basically forget that this character is blind. Makkari certainly never suffers for being Deaf in the movie or the comics. It’s not portrayed as sad, tragic, or even difficult for her. But you also don’t get to just forget that she is Deaf either. In the comics, Eternals have telepathy by default, but it’s explicitly stated that the same incident that caused Makkari to lose her hearing and voice also took her telepathy. So she has to sign to speak to others and read their lips, the same as a normal Deaf human in real life. It’s not treated as a hindrance or a lesser way of communication, but it’s there. And in the movie, telepathy was never even an option to start with. And I just really love that, that there’s no way to overlook or forget her Deafness, there’s no attempt by Gillen the comic writers OR Zhao the movie director to brush it under the rug. She’s just there, onscreen, all parts of her, as she is. And I just think that’s cool. (Also, fun fact: Makkari was never Deaf in the comics UNTIL Zhao cast an actress that was actually Deaf in real life. I am generally not a fan of the comics making changes to be more like the movies, but I do like some of it in the very specific case of Eternals.)

[sokkastyles]

I was thinking about the moment when Aang burned Katara's hands. It's funny that there are people who blame Katara for her injury (because she was standing too close to Aang), although it is obvious that Aang is to blame for this. And only now I realized that Aang treated firebending as a game just like he treats his airbending, which is why he couldn't stop in time and burned Katara. It seems to me that this is the reason why fire became the last element that Aang had to study, for his full growth as a character, to start taking things more seriously and responsibly than before. While Zuko is learning on the contrary to be more free and liberated, like air.

I agree. I've said in the past that I feel like a lot of the hate Katara gets is because of the way the narrative positions her in opposition to Aang, both as a love interest and as the no-fun caretaker who is always trying to get him to take responsibility, and that's exacerbated when the narrative won't hold Aang responsible for things, such as the kiss in "Ember Island Players," which is why even people who like Katara argue that she really actually secretly wanted to be kissed (blegh), but Aang burning Katara is actually a place where I feel the narrative does do a good job of holding him responsible, and it's actually a huge part of his arc, so people who try to argue that it was Katara's fault for "standing too close" are not even paying attention to the show. There are other problems with the way that situation is addressed, and plenty of people have pointed out how Katara is the one who ends up having to comfort Aang over him burning her, while her pain is just magically healed, but it is something the show holds Aang accountable for and a big part of his development.

And you are right about him treating it as a game, just like he does with airbending, and this is an aspect of Aang's character that I feel is often overlooked. This isn't a criticism of Aang, it's very understandable that he is this way. He's a kid who grew up in peacetime. There's a tendency to idealize Aang's pacifism that I've seen in the fandom, and to portray him as someone who hates fighting, but that's not the case. He's a martial arts master, for Pete's sake! And he was just as hyped to learn firebending as any twelve year old boy would be. He thought the freedom fighters were super cool and didn't believe Sokka when he told them that Jet was dangerous. Even in "The Avatar State," which opens with his nightmares about the violence at the North Pole, he was totally into General Fong's plan and wouldn't listen to Katara when she warned him of the danger until Katara got hurt.

And this makes sense, if you think about it. Because Aang is a kid who grew up in an idyllic setting and was raised by pacifist monks, because airbending came easy to him, and because he wasn't there for the genocide of his people, he doesn't quite understand the real consequences of violence the way the other characters do. I'm not saying he takes violence lightly, because of course he doesn't, but he hasn't experienced things the way Katara and Sokka have, particularly how dangerous the Fire Nation can be, so it's more of a game to him until it becomes serious in a very real way, and by then it's unavoidable.

Look at when they go to the Fire Nation festival in "The Deserter:"

Katara: Aang, hold on! Where are we going?

Aang: I don't know, but there's a big crowd so it must be good.

Sokka: [Sarcastically.] Knowing the Fire Nation, it's probably an execution.

Aang: I gotta learn that trick!

It's not that Aang is naive, it's just that he doesn't have the same experience with the Fire Nation that Sokka and Katara do. Katara is cautious and fearful, and Sokka assumes the worst, while Aang is excited. Katara and Sokka grew up fearing violence from the Fire Nation, and lost their mother to that same evil, while Aang, despite the trauma of losing his people and witnessing the devastation at the Southern Air Temple, still remembers having Fire Nation friends. He's excited to be part of the firebending show while Katara is clearly terrified.

Aang didn't grow up in constant fear of raids like Sokka and Katara did, and he didn't grow up in a violent and abusive environment like Zuko did, so it makes sense that the consequences of violence aren't as real for him (this is also an aspect of what Zuko says to him in "The Southern Raiders" and why it annoys me when people say that Zuko was in the wrong to say what he said). And because Aang is also twelve, his initial feelings about firebending are more "fire cool" than anything.

That's why he's impatient with Jeong Jeong, and also why he's so shocked and upset when he does accidently burn Katara. And because of this he does a complete 180 and is afraid to ever firebend again. I also think that both Katara and Sokka's reactions were unexpected for him. Katara's terror and hurt is so palpable and Sokka's reaction towards Aang, tackling him to the ground, becomes horribly tragic if you think about how much Sokka wanted to be like his dad and was raised to be a warrior and protector of his tribe and family, and the flashback we get later of Hakoda running towards Kya, who he will find dead.

It's also made clear by the narrative that it was Aang's fault. I mean, I'm not saying Aang should be blamed, because of course it was an accident, but the reason Aang lost control of the fire was because he was being reckless, and playing with it. Part of it is also Jeong Jeong's fault, because Jeong Jeong has the opposite problem, and I do blame Jeong Jeong largely for Aang developing a complex around firebending. Both of them, because of their bad experiences with fire, become so afraid of hurting other people that they don't know how to handle it. And Jeong Jeong was actually the last person who should have been teaching Aang, because of his fear of his own fire. Aang disobeys Jeong Jeong and is too reckless, but Jeong Jeong also is way too timid and doesn't teach Aang, who is eager to learn more, how to keep his fire from going out of control. He teaches Aang to be afraid of the fire because he is afraid of it.

(I actually also think this is tied to why Aang is afraid of Katara's desire to face Yon Rha in "The Southern Raiders" as well. When Aang is exposed to situations where he is confronted with the reality of violence, he becomes incredibly fearful and loses control. That's why he's afraid of Katara losing control and falls back on Air Nomad aphorisms that land on deaf ears to Katara and Zuko.)

This is ultimately why Zuko ends up being the perfect firebending teacher for Aang. Zuko had a lot of the same problems, and had to learn the hard way how to control his fire, but because he's had those experiences and learned from them, and decided that he wanted to become better, he's able to teach Aang how to have a more balanced view. Zuko had to learn how to be more like air, but one of the things I love about "The Firebending Masters" is how Zuko and Aang's roles are somewhat switched, and Aang is constrained by his own fears while Zuko is more free than we've ever seen him:

Aang: [Scared.] Zuko, I think the past is trying to kill me.

Zuko: [Kneeling down to inspect the spikes.] I can't believe it. [He picks the tripwire up and examines it.] This booby trap must be centuries old and it still works.

Aang: There's probably a lot more. Maybe this means we shouldn't be here.

Zuko takes two steps back and runs toward the wall adjoining the path. He runs on the wall before jumping on the other side of the spikes.

Zuko: [Dusting some dirt on his shirt.] Where's that up-beat attitude you were talkin' about?

(This is also a rare scene of Zuko bending air.)

Because in the end, it's all about balance. Aang learns to have more confidence and Zuko learns to be more wise. There's a great message there about learning from your mistakes. Yes, you should be careful especially when you are in danger of hurting others, but if you're too hesitant then you'll always be held back by your fear, and you might end up hurting others more in the end.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Can we take a moment to talk about what a tragic character Minerva is? Y’all know that for the longest time I haven’t been the biggest fan of her, and honestly I’m still not? but I think I might’ve had a breakthrough on why that is. 

Whenever I’ve asked around to see why people find her so appealing or why they consider her their favorite, I’ll get answers like, “she’s such a complex character and she deserved a redemption arc!” or “she should’ve come back to the school with us! Let Minnie be happy, you cowards! Telltale did her dirty! I could write paragraph after paragraph about her!” all sorts of things along those lines… but like, no one seems to want to actually talk about her. I find that interesting? Since when I do follow up with a “care to explain further?” I get nothing. Radio static. Like…. no, talk to me please, I just wanna understand-

Minerva within the context of TFS is such a tragedy. She grew up in a school for troubled youth where all the adults left them for death at the start of the breakout, they had walkers trying to eat the living all around them, and I’m sure she saw her fair share of traumatic violence and despair… but on the bright side, she always had her twin sister, Sophie, and little brother, Tenn. She had her friend and eventual girlfriend, Violet. She had music, and a dorm full of pretty paintings done by Sophie. She and Louis composed a song together to make everyone feel better. There are worse places to live than the school. 

Then one day she got traded away to a bunch of raiders against her will, having no idea what the hell these people were gonna do to her and Sophie. They were made to be soldiers to fight in a war that had nothing to do with them. The delta fucking broke her. If we’re to believe Lilly’s story about the twins, they started their brainwashing process early on when Sophie was still alive, and it seems like Minerva was easier to control as Sophie was still planning a way out and causing trouble. Then, when Sophie convinced her to steal a boat and get the hell out, they got caught and the delta forced her to murder her own twin sister. 

Like…. I’m sorry, not only did Minerva kill her own sister, but she was made to believe that was the right thing to do? That line she says about how she had to prove her loyalty to the place she calls home? That shit’s ingrained in her brain, you can tell that isn’t the first time she’s heard or said that very thing. That is what made her family to the delta. Delta is her home now, her family. Sophie was just a thing that needed to be dealt with. You keep your head down, do as you’re told, and you survive.  You survive and you get to go home, eat a hot meal, take a shower, and be with your delta family.  If not, you end up like Sophie.

What’s also fucked is that Minerva actually cares about these people now. Think about that. After everything they did to her and made her do, she’s been trained to see them as her family and obey. When you save Louis and he kills Dorian, Minerva actually cries out and is visibly hurt by her death. When she’s with the other raiders on land, she's screaming at walkers to get away from them. She cares about the people who made her kill Sophie… and no one ever talks about that??

She fucking hates Clementine. Clementine is just another thing in Minnie’s way. I know the part of the fandom likes to ship these two together and they think it’s hot when they fight and shit, but within the canon text, Minerva wants Clementine gone. Dead. She is the thing stopping her from having her old family merge with her new family. If Clementine hadn’t made them fight, they all would’ve been captured and they’d all be a delta family now. She would’ve had Tenn back. 

Clementine is the problem, she made everyone fight back and that’s why people are dead. Minerva hates her for it… it’s not a “I hate you but like the sexual tension, y’know?” that I see people pretend it is, it’s “you are ruining everything and if I have to, I will kill you myself and I won’t give a second thought about it when they toss your body overboard.”

Like….. seriously, think about how fucked up all of this is. Minerva is a husk of who she was before she was taken away. Sure, you do have to keep in mind that when Tenn and Violet are describing her, their sights are a bit clouded, y’know? But I do believe that she was someone who was kind and cared about people, she wanted to make people feel safe and comforted. 

Now she’s a brainwashed soldier who won’t help the people she used to call friends when they’re about to get limbs cut off. She won’t hesitate to knock someone unconscious or threaten a child.  She’s willing to trick them into being captured with no regard for what’s going to happen to them. … all she knows is this was the mission, and now they all get to be together again back at the delta. 

Then when she finds out there’s a bomb on the boat, she ditches Violet to blow up with it in order to make it to land herself. She loses her shit seeing everyone die and gets her face chewed off by a walker… and then she tries to blow Clementine and AJ up with a grenade. 

Oh, and who can forget the fact that she tracks the group down with plans of murdering Tenn so that they can go to a better place together? And she’ll take down anyone who gets in her way?

Like….. jesus christ, Minerva’s waaaaay too far gone. It’s awful. 

I think that’s what stumps me about why she’s so loved in the way that she is. It’s not that I don’t understand why she’s complex and well-written, I get that perfectly fine. She’s a compelling character study when you comb over all her scenes and take different factors into account.

What I don’t understand is why we tend to just throw everything interesting about her away? For what? 

These days, I never see anyone talking about any of this unless they’re insisting she deserved a redemption arc which…. Eh, I’ll touch on this later. What I mostly see here and mostly other platforms is how great it would be if she and Clementine made out, or hey what if she and Violet got back together if she did come back to the school? Or they just….the best term I have for this is “uwu-ify.” As in she’s reduced to a caricature of a tall, pretty, mean, white lesbian who has “good damage.” 

People insist that Telltale are cowards or bastards because their predictions of her turning on the delta to save Clem and crew didn’t happen. Instead, Minerva ends up being the final baddie you gotta get away from, and she ends up taking someone down with her. But did you really expect to just do a 180 and suddenly decide being brainwashed for over a year was lame and Clementine and friends are cool? Gonna help them out and be with Tenn again? Sure, there’s some left over trauma but love conquers and fixes everything, right?

Uh…. no? That’s not how people work? Honestly, if we entertain the idea that Minerva wasn’t bit and somehow didn’t murder Clementine when they all got back to the school…. romance is the last thing she is ever gonna think of??

I think that’s what bothers me most when reading these au’s and rants about redemption and the entire idea of clemerva as a whole. It’s the same thing that I see happen with Violet- Minerva only has value to fans if she’s in a wlw relationship. By herself, she doesn’t matter. They don’t care about her canon story, they don’t care about Sophie, they don’t care about discussing what could’ve happened if she and Tenn reunited under better circumstances or had a healing recovery together. But why?

Throwing a girlfriend at her isn’t some band aid that’s gonna cover up all the bad she went through?? Having an enemies to lovers romance with Clementine isn’t going to fix a years worth of brainwashing, trauma or the fact that she murdered her own sister and the delta told her she's proved her worth to them?? 

Having the support of those around her is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. The idea of the Ericson crew as a whole trying to help her out and do the best they can to accommodate her is bittersweet since there’s only so much they can do. They’re not trained therapists, which is what Minerva would need and plenty of years ahead of her to work through and come to terms with everything that happened as well as taking steps forward. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have friends or that she couldn’t have a healthy romantic relationship someday... but that isn’t the solution, y’know? 

I don’t know how else to explain this, but it makes me feel weird that all of this stuff is flat out overlooked or doesn’t appear to matter to fans of her. 

Look, I get it. We all want these characters to be happy. AU’s are a thing, after all. Sometimes we want to forget about the bad things and focus on the good that bring us comfort. You wanna gush about the idea of an AU where the twins never got traded, the raiders didn’t exist, and Clementine got to meet them the way they were before? I feel that, AU’s are super comforting and fun to explore, and my point isn’t to try and shame anyone who has an AU you like this. 

Hell, you think I don’t have days where I pretend mute Louis isn’t a thing because the whole concept of Louis having his tongue cut out of his mouth breaks my fucking heart? No, lot’s of days I just want to forget everything about that route, I want to set aside all the bad and just intake as much clouis fluff as I can get…. But that doesn’t mean I always ignore or refuse to acknowledge the bad just because I don’t like it. I fucking hate the fact that Louis loses his tongue when you don’t save him, but guess what? That’s a canon route you can play, just like any other route, and the possibilities that come with a mute Louis are vast and compelling. 

This is how it is for me… my favorite characters are my favorite for a reason, and I take all the bad with the good. Louis isn’t perfect, and I don’t want him to be. I was to dive into his backstory about why did that to his parents, I like to talk about what he went through with Marlon’s murder and his feelings about AJ and Clementine at the point, I like to view his love of music as bittersweet. He can stand on his own, and while he is a love interest for Clementine, that isn’t his only purpose. 

I know everyone’s different, they express their love for characters in their own ways, but I do have a genuine question: do you guys actually like Minerva?

Believe it or not, I’m not trying to step on toes or make everyone feel defensive which I know is how people will react to this. “You’re just saying all of this to make us feel bad for shipping clemerva! You don’t even like Minnie so you don’t get to say shit!” yeah yeah, I hear you and look, it’s true that she’s not my favorite character. I know I’ve said I hate her in the past but upon reflection and throwing out fandom interpretations.... I don’t hate her. I get it now. She’s a great character study to dissect and analyze and I think she deserves more than what the writers and the fandom have given her. 

And yeah, what I do hate is clemerva, and I’ve explained why. It’s not for me, it makes me uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, who cares? Me not liking it doesn’t mean anything to those who create AU’s for them. They have their reasons, they can do as they please as long as they’re not hurting anyone. I’m just here pointing out things I see and things that bother me in hopes of starting a discussion.

There’s my ramble about Minerva. I’m gonna go make some tea now. 

[chrkrose]

Hey! Can I just start with saying I love your J/B fics and you’re also a fan of Nettles! I completely agree with you that fandom racism can be awful to characters of colour like Nettles especially when they’re surrounded by an almost all white cast.It’s super frustrating to me how people are like ”Omg,Rhaenyra/Laena/Mysaria/insert others are so badass” but completely ignore Nettles? I mean my girl basically raised herself alone and tamed a wild dragon using her perseverance and cunning,was the only female rider among the dragon seeds(and I think in general after Rhaenys’ death)that actively fought while being very young and managed to survive the worst war in Westeros (up till then) but completely overlook her. And don’t get me started on Rhaenyra being racist towards her(which is very similar to how many fandoms treat woman of colour in general)of Mysaria being so jealous that she was willing to kill a young innocent girl who btw she knew could be pregnant(that would be the second time she indirectly commits infanticide). Yet fans would go out of their way to try and humanise and/or feel sorry for these women while being dismissive of Nettles as “just the chick that rode a dragon”. And how they’re going out of their way to dismiss any potential romantic relationship between her and Daemon(which given the huge age gap would be understandable but on the other hand ASOIAF is filled big age gaps that tend to be romanticised by GRRM so why would Daemon/Nettles be any differen?). I just dread the ship wars will come happen once the show comes out. I just know the Daemon/Rhaenyra(and possibly Daemon/Mysaria shippers)stans will hate on Nettles for getting in the way of their ship instead of dying(ala Laena)whatever reason they come up with.Oh,and btw now that the show has raced bend the Velaryons we’ll have both Laenor and Laena dying who’ll be mixed raced so Daemon and Rhaenyra can get married and have their white incest babies(no offense to the kids but seriously?). How wonderful this will look after seeing how GOT treated their only two main POC characters in the final season.🙄Anyway,sorry for the rant I just needed to get this off my chest before the show comes out.😂

Thanks for this, I’m always up for trashing this fandom and their race bias that is so obvious I wanna vomit. If Nettles was a white girl, I bet u she would have 152739168364947 fandom blogs and be hyped up to the skies and beyond. For reference: see Lyanna and her die hard stans when she was much more of a victim/had a passive role in the story than Nettles herself. Nettles (possible) romance with Daemon? The most beloved ship to ever exist. For reference: Lyanna and Rhaegar and the way they are idolized/romanticized as this tragic love story and not two selfish hypocrites who threw the kingdom into a war (u know, if it was indeed a romance). Being a dragon rider who tamed her dragon having (apparently) no targ blood in her veins? 152863837 threads discussing what does this mean to the rule of having dragon blood go become a dragon rider. For reference: any possible theory of any possible white guy who could become a dragon rider in this saga.

But the moment she was written as a WOC, she lost any potential of becoming a fan favorite, or relevant. I wouldn’t be AT ALL surprised if she was cut off from the show completely. Which is one of the many reasons why I won’t see it. You know, besides everything being made irrelevant by D&D when it comes to the show universe. Watch Daemon and Rhaenyra be fetishized and excused to hell and beyond, specially if the show runners have any kind of obsession towards them like D&D had with J and C.

[dimonds456]

What was “A Picture Perfect Hollywood Heartbreak” Really About?

What was Zach Callison’s A Picture Perfect Hollywood Heartbreak really about?

Hey all you people out there! How are you surviving quarantine? I had a bunch of spare time, and so I decided to write an essay that focuses on Zach Callison’s album, A Picture Perfect Hollywood Heartbreak. The album has been out for a while, but most people either only know Interlude IV or are really confused about the story it tells. I think I’ve finally got an answer, and I wanted to share it with you all.

If you’re only here to better understand Interlude IV, you can skip down there if you want, but you’ll still be pretty confused. Besides, you should listen to the rest of the album. The whole thing bops. 

Personal favorite song is Phantom Love, but I’m pretty sure no one cares about that.

Anyways, on to the show! One song at a time, in order.

WARNING: REALLY, REALLY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT!!

Phantom Love

Phantom Love sets up the whole story for us. Juanita is Zach’s old GF, who appears to only have dated him so she could get ideas for a music album she was writing. However, she had no ideas and/or is a masochist, and so wanted to get Zach to either break up with her, do something horrible to her, or just create drama in general she could write about. Whatever happens happens, and she is successful. 

Juanita seems to be suffering from some form of depression, but whether that’s actually the case or she, again, just wanted something to write about is up for debate. But either way, it’s hinted at several times that she slit her wrists and other self-harm-inducing activities. 

Many people follow her- she seems to be popular enough (which makes sense, due to the album being about two celebrities dating each other, just like Zach’s irl relationship). However, she has two different faces- her showbiz the-cameras-are-on face and her real face. Zach seems to have the same thing, as hinted at in She Don’t Know, but we’re not there yet. Point is, Juanita used Zach to try and get a tragedy out of the whole deal.

It was a phantom love- it never existed. 

“Made me promise I would never break your heart

How was I to know that’s what you wanted from the start?”

Both people got into Hollywood from a young age and grew up with it, and so were surrounded by drama constantly. This takes a toll on Zach, but he tries to deal with it whereas Juanita actively wants to partake in it. She causes drama- little triggers to get him to snap- until one day, he does.

Interlude I - Frantically

This one is pretty straight-forward. After the two break up, it’s the perfect excuse for Juanita to start spreading rumors and stirring tension. She’s quick to make Zach out to be the bad guy, when in actuality, he was the one who was being loyal in their relationship.

We’re clued in that these rumors aren’t true from one line: “I heard he got fired from that cartoon he does. (Nooo wayyy…)” We, as the audience, know for a fact he didn’t, but things get shaky as we realize that some of them are also true. 

“I heard he does coke now and, like, screams a lot.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

[laughter]

Zach overhears them talking about them and runs away, going off somewhere to be alone. Once he’s alone, we get the disturbing audio of him sniffing some drugs, implying that he actually does, indeed, do coke.

DISCLAIMER: Irl Zach Callison did NOT turn to drugs! It’s a metaphor for how many people he knows who have decided to do so, and so he;s aware of what it does to one’s mind. Don’t worry; Zach is okay in that department.

She Don't Know

After gaining the following knowledge, this song is easier to understand. Zach really did love Juanita, and he misses her, even though he knows at this point that she used and abused him. 

“There ain’t no drug in all the world like loving you

Cocaine and cigarettes will have to do

Won’t somebody save me? My heart’s beating outta m’ chest

I just wanna hold you with those hands I once possessed.”

Juanita isn’t aware of the effect she had on him, and he laments this quite strongly (hence the title). Once she had her heartbreak, she ran off, leaving a broken lover behind. 

Trigger warning: there are hints of suicidal thoughts in this song. They get more prominent as the album goes on, which becomes important later. This is where we really start seeing them, though.

“F***ed up on my bedroom floor

And my first thought’s ‘let’s do some more’

They say it all kills for thrills

And I hope it does!

Can you hear me, love?”

He speaks about “where did I go” later on, meaning that he is losing himself/doesn’t feel like himself. He still wants to be with her, and her absence has utterly destroyed him. He’s still in love with her, and wants her to know that. However, Juanita doesn’t give a bat of the eye in his direction, only caring that she now had the material she needed to write her album.

Interlude II - Christie Only Knows

Here, we are introduced to Zach’s make-believe sister, Christie. Only she is aware that he is going through this, and we find out quickly that she isn’t supportive.

“It’s getting late now, but to me, it’s just beginning

‘Cuz life’s tearing me to pieces and I know I’ve been defeated

Oh, no

And Christie only knows.

Never seen someone like this before

An eight-ball power on the floor

And I’m staring at the ceiling 

Wondering if the reaper’s close

But Christie only knows

That there ain’t no drug in all the world like being you

\Glory on the silver screen just had to do

Won’t somebody save me? I am screaming out of breath

And my shadow, he’s holding a gun…

With those hands that I once possessed…”

This is the only time I’ll put all the lyrics in here, I swear. However, this one is important as it paves the way to Nightmare, bridging the gap between the two moods. She Don’t Know is angry, stressed, unsure, and frustrated, whereas Nightmare is just… depression. Interlude II is the middle ground, showing us that once Zach got all that off his chest, he feels… numb. He doesn’t know what to do. 

Now, who exactly is Christie? I don’t think she really exists, in the context of the album, that is. I believe that Christie is someone he’s hallucinating, an embodiment of all his most negative thoughts, sugarcoated into something pretty and worth listening to. We’ll explore her character later on in Interlude IV - Showtime, but for now, what you need to know is that his suicidal thoughts are getting more and more intense now that she’s here.

A sister is someone who you’re bonded to, whether it be in blood, relationship, or cause. In this case, I think it’s more relationship. She is telling him to let go, to accept that things are this way and won’t get better. It’d be easier to end it. And Zach is listening to her. We know this because of the line “And my shadow, he’s holding a gun with those hands that I once possessed…” He is seriously thinking about it, and the fact that it’s his shadow shows that the thought is always in the back of his mind. The same thoughts that led him to love Juanita are now ready to kill him- those same, once-steady hands he used to hold her with. And he’s done. He’s holding on by a thread.

Nightmare

This song is told in the 3rd person as Zach really explains what he’s been going through each and every day that lead him to this fateful decision to end it. He is done. He’s decided it. 

Every day, he cries. He hates himself, he hates looking at himself, he hates all of it. 

“Prosecutor at his own trial, 

The floor below him becomes so fertile 

by his very own vile, Nile, and exile source 

By the pitter-patter of his tears on the bathroom tile… 

...you’re nothing more than your feelings 

from your floors to your ceilings 

and out the all-bloodshot ocular faucets… 

Boy vs brain, white noise vs the sane, 

always vs the same, cries for help exclaim 

that he’s beyond repair. He’ll swear, he’ll despair, he’ll stare 

straight ahead in the mirror at the source of his waking nightmare.”

There’s an instrumental break, during which he says “Are you writing this down, Christie? Yeah…” This shows that he’s lamenting to himself, as again, Christie doesn’t really exist. He’s venting to her, jotting down everything that’s wrong with him.

This tells me that he’s writing a note. He is telling someone where he’s going and why he did what he’s about to do. Remember, Christie is in Zach’s head, and so if she is writing this down, that means that Zach is writing this down. His worst, most negative thoughts are writing all this down, showing him that this was the right decision. This will end all his suffering, and whoever reads the note will understand and be happy for him. This was his solution.

“He’s standing on a bluff overlooking the city

The city’s biggest bluff is making itself look so pretty

He tells himself to be tough, isolated and gritty

But gritty’s kinda hard when his brain’s run by committee”

This is how he decides to die. Now with a gunshot like Interlude II hinted at. He is willing to jump for it.

Look at the album cover. Did he go for it? I don’t think so, but we’ll get to that.

The song concludes with him saying this:

“So who do I speak of and why is he grey?

He rejects all his love, see the prices he pays

To his vices he caves, in a crisis of fates

No tragic history, only a mystery 

So I say to you, ‘who?’

Why don't’cha tell me?”

This is him confirming to us, the audience, that this is Zach’s character speaking about himself. He’s been hinting and clueing at us to this song all along, and now he is making sure that we know what’s going on in his head. He’s ready to end it. 

His love for Juanita broke his heart so severely that it left him broken and bruised beyond repair. And if you can’t fix it, it’s time to throw it away.

So he heads back out to the bluff to jump.

Interlude III - Second Thoughts

He’s standing on a bluff overlooking the city. The bluff’s height is making itself not so pretty. Is this being tough? Or just being petty? But petty’s not likely, it’s a selfish, single entity…

Doe she really want to do this? Looking down, Zach thinks about what made him come here. The drugs? They’re messing him up. He’s aware of it, he’s been aware of it. Would jumping be giving in to their influence? Or Juanita’s? 

“We put his record on until he’s bleeding on the needle

And he’s weeping in the street

Cut down on his curtain call

That’s where he’s gonna sleep.”

Standing on top of the bluff now, he looks down onto the road. He can see that there is where he could die, but he’s suddenly not so sure. The idea just slammed into him, reality slapping him in the face. “Do you really want to do this?” 

“Take aim with these hands he once possessed

A dozen roses on the pavement laid the rest

Oh, my dear sister Christie, will I feel some remorse?

She says ‘no, pull the trigger, ‘cuz he’s left us no recourse.

His brain has a sickness, so kill it at the source.’”

He steps closer. He can see, in his mind, the image of his dead body lying on the road, forever resting. But, was that the right call? To just throw in the towel like that? So, in true metaphorical fashion, he turns and asks Christie. His inner demons. They’ve been straight with him before, right? And, of course, they say “yes, go for it.”

But Zach still isn’t sure.

I believe he backs off for now, leading the way to Curtain Call.

Curtain Call

This is where it really starts to get difficult when it comes to dissecting this album, and from here on out, I guarantee that I got things wrong. However, stay with me, because I’m open to and want to discuss what everyone else thinks it all could mean. I’m going to share my ideas, and if you have a better one, tell me and I can either agree or argue it with you. Point is, like English class (in high school), if you have the evidence to back it up, you’re not wrong. Let’s have a serious discussion about this.

On with the show! Now, it appears as though Zach is arguing with himself in this one, one wanting to show people that he’s hurt so he can get help- the side that wants to live- but on the other hand, his other half knows that there’s nothing they can do if he does. He’d just weigh them all down. Because all of him agrees that he’s useless and hopeless. 

He sends up a prayer (I think Zach is Christian, so this makes sense), asking for, basically, karma of some kind. He’s done feeling this way, and wants it to stop. So he asks for “some price to pay,” hoping that there’s a solution, but knowing that the solution isn’t going to be handed to him on a silver platter. He’d need to work to get better, and this is him saying that he’s willing to do that. He WANTS to live, but he’s just not sure he can anymore. And that’s his main argument. Can he do this? Was it even worth it?

Obviously, with Zach being a famous actor (both irl and in the album), he has a double life. One is bringing joy to others, while the other is a constant internal struggle. The world is a stage, and at this point, Zach is basically admitting- through metaphors- that he has been acting. Pretending. 

Consider this lyric, put there- side by side- very intentionally:

“I find that I’m anything but fine.

No, I’m okay. Oh please just look away!”

It’s all a mask. And it’s one he’s tired of wearing. Notice how tired he sounds when he sings those lines. He’s done. He’s been done.

“Bourbon to kill my pain

Curtains to hold my shame

No, they can’t look away

Cannot contain my rage…”

These lines are telling us that people around Zach have started to notice that he’s off, but he wants to believe that he’s okay, that he’ll be okay. So he continues his career (“curtains to hold my shame”), even though it’s hurting him to do so at that point. And people are starting to notice. And that’s making him frustrated. At himself. At them. He’s tired. Let him rest. He just wants to rest and forget. Bourbon, alcohol, kill the pain. Make it go away so they can’t see. But they already see. The mask is old and withering in decay.

Towards the end, Zach’s voice becomes more echoey and distant (discluding the Italian that I have no hope of understanding, which is why I’ve yet to mention it). This shows that he’s distancing himself, running away, if you will.

Running back to the bluff.

And this time, he jumps.

Interlude IV - Showtime

Okay, meme time. This is the one everyone knows. However, we are not going to be talking about a Connverse fight that honestly makes no sense given the limited context of the song (as cool as those animatics are). We will be talking about, however, Zach facing and challenging his inner demons. Christie does not exist. Why should she rule over his life?

Let’s break this one down, since this one is the hardest to fit into the story.

He jumps, but survives the fall. Maybe dazed, maybe broken. Maybe it was just a dream. Maybe this song IS the dream. We can’t be sure. Everything is metaphorical in this one. Perhaps he didn’t jump at all. We can’t be sure.

Christie congratulates him. She tells him that he’s free. He did the right thing, and now it was just the two of them. They could do whatever they wanted without feeling so weighed down!

Zach disagrees, coming to a realization.

He jumped. Christie had said that it’d make everything okay again, that it’d be bliss. Well, he jumped, and it wasn’t. It was worse. He felt anger and fear, and this leads him to finally, for once, counter her. 

“The world is ours!”

“No it isn’t.”

“Get in the car.”

“This isn’t finished.”

“...What?”

She’s shocked that Zach openly argues with her, and as their bickering goes on (which I’m sure a lot of you reading this can hear perfectly in your heads, so I won’t write the exact lyrics down), Zach gains more confidence. He accuses her of murdering him. “And they’ll all think that it was suicide, but Christie, I know that it was you inside.” Remember, she’s not real and therefore didn’t really “kill” him, but he blames her as he allowed her to control and manipulate him. 

Christie is shocked, stating that everything she did, she did to comfort him. ”I saved him! I held him ‘til the moment he [Zach’s “innocence”] died!”) However, Zach realizes what she really is now, and decides that enough is enough. (“You choked him out of his goddamn mind! Promised the world to him, a goddamn lie!”) He knows what she is, and won’t let himself be manipulated by her again. 

Now, the whole time, they’re talking about someone who is dead. Who is that someone? Zach. However, it’s all a metaphor. When Zach jumped, a part of him died. The last of his humanity? His sanity? I think his “innocence,” which I say in quotes because I’m sure there’s a better word for it out there somewhere. He’s done being blind to the truth, blindly following Christie around. The part of him that was naive enough to do that, to listen to her influence and complain about the world, is gone. He’s dead.

And that means Zach isn’t taking anymore s***. 

C: “I won’t help you take [Juanita] down.”

Z: “Fine. I’LL DO IT BY MYSELF!”

C: “You don’t need it!”

Z: “Oh, I know that I need it.”

C: “She’s been gone for years, I know you can beat it!”

Z: “Oh, look in the mirror, you know we both fear her…

But you let me kill him, you’re WORSE than Juanita!”

Juanita herself never killed him. She never physically harmed him, not in any way that counts here. However, Christie did. She pushed and pushed him, taking a fragile boy and breaking him even more. Zach is now his own worst enemy, not Juanita, and this is him realizing it. But he doesn’t want to be his own enemy.

C: “I won’t help you take her down.”

Christie doesn’t want Zach to face her, because she knows that that would be him really facing his demons and starting down the path to healing. Juanita is Zach’s biggest obstacle, aside from himself. He has to face himself first, and that’s why this song is so powerful. Zach is taking a step back and realizing what he has to do, who he is, and why things are like this.

Z: “Oh, look in the mirror, you know we both fear her. 

We’re one and the same, we’re afraid to be near her!”

There’s that mirror metaphor again, except that he’s not looking at himself with hatred; he’s looking at himself with understanding (and a side of hatred). He’s ready to face her. He’s ready to get everything to stop.

“1, 2, 3, 4

Is this what love is really for? 

Is this all I get for being yours?

The kid in front of me in blood and gore?”

The kid is, again, Zach’s “innocence.” He understands, he’s ready to not only move on, but also confront her.

5, 6, 7, 8

Years left to waste for all I hate

They’ll all know Juanita’s fate!

Show’s about to start; don’t be late.”

He knows that it’s going to be a showdown, a big, epic throw down. And Christie isn’t coming with him. He’s leaving her behind. He’s leaving his demons behind, breaking free from them and moving on.

War!

The ultimate throw down begins!

“A wise man once said, ‘time is money’

So how much money did I lose to you, honey?

Find it kinda funny you wanna keep this feud runnin’

But I’m glad I’m on your mind, keep that canon fire coming, woah!”

This is 100% a diss track. Zach confronts Juanita in front of a lot of her friends (we hear multiple girls go “huh?” as they realize that Zach’s here and he’s ANGRY), and immediately starts in. No introductions, no “hey it’s nice to see you again”s, nothing. He’s here to make a statement, and he’s gonna do so.

He realizes Juanita for who she is now, and she has done so many horrible things to him. Spreading rumors and lies to ruin his life, after dating him just to get a story to write about. He’s sick of it and done. He calls her out, and it’s important that he does this in front of other people so they see what she’s really done. He’s hurt, he’s been hurt, and it’s because of Juanita, this amazing person a lot of people looked up to and liked (“I know, Juanita deserves so much more [Interlude I]”. “Step inside the life of the men weak enough to follow you [Phantom Love]). 

Juanita also appears to be dating someone else by this time. This is really important, because now due to context clues we got from before, the only reason Juanita dates is to get a heartbreak out of it so she can have the motivation and drive to write her own album. That’s why she dated Zach. So, if she’s dating again, that means she either lost the motivation and drive again, or she never had it in the first place since it wasn’t a real love between them. She didn’t truly experience a heartbreak at all. This is further backed up by the claim that “we’ve been waiting on your album for ages, no traces, and baby, we’ve already run out of patience!” She’s only dating to get that experience again.

This means that, at least in Zach’s eyes, she hasn’t changed. “To your new boy, let he be warned: you’re her new toy for blood and gore! What, you didn’t know?” She is going to destroy him emotionally, and he’s going to go down the same path as Zach, ending in death- blood on the pavement. The gore part is to emphasize how horrific the whole ordeal was.

“Sit down with me and sign this armistice

Get your big proboscis outta my s***, miss”

A proboscis is the butterfly equivalent of a tongue. They use it for sucking nectar out of flowers. So, what he’s saying here is that they need to settle this between them (“sign this armistice”), and that she needs to mind her own business. By her talking about Zach like that, she ruined his life and he’s sick of it. She literally sucked the joy out of him like nectar. 

“Welcome to the new me!

Paint your nails black and unscrew me

But that’s okay, Juanita

Know my business is booming”

His business is a reference to his own album, the very one you’re listening to. His music career took off now because of her and the fact that she broke his heart, not the other way around. Juanita can never understand that because she “only loves to be broken [Phantom Love].” 

“That’s alright, that’s okay!

You barely wrote them anyway

Half your songs got thrown away

Like ballets on voting day

All my ballads had more to say

Like a bullet through a motorcade”

In a twist, Zach got the story Juanita had wanted. He experienced a heartbreak, while she never really did. So he writes an album instead of her. It’s a cool kind of karma that Zach- or, at least, his character- can’t resist. 

The whole song ends with him forcing her/her friends to sing along with him, repeating her name, then yelling. She screams, and it cuts out. 

I think he’s lost his sanity (or again, his “innocence”) here. He gets carried away, and either attacks her or makes like he’s about to. I think he makes like he’s about to, but stops. This is the final song; if Zach killed her, there would more than likely be another song depicting the consequences and an Interlude V to show the aftermath of the incident. But because he stopped himself, he’s satisfied. Juanita learned her lesson, Zach got everything off his chest, and the people around them know the truth. 

That’s all he’s wanted for longer than we can possibly know.

Final Observations

Zach Callison has gone on record to say that “Juanita” has finally published an album of her own, but that happened months later. I don’t have any specific dates for anything, though. No one knows who the real-life “Juanita” is, which in my opinion, is noble of Zach. He had a lot of anger to get out, but unlike her, he wasn’t going to ruin her life to try and get something out there. He can make a statement without ruining someone else along the way.

With that knowledge, let us all stand and clap for this man.

Not only is the album just a really good listen, but each song tells a cohesive story. The tones each song sets, as well as the far under-appreciated interludes (or over-appreciated in terms of Showtime), really shows how his emotional state changes. Phantom Love is a lament, She Don’t Know is a classic “I’m sad bc my gf broke up with me :(“ which is how Zach perceives that incident at that point in time, whereas Nightmare is him falling into depression stronger than anything he’s ever felt before. Curtain Call is him arguing with himself about whether or not he should even live anymore, and it all comes back around with the upbeat, heavy-rock literal song of War!. The interludes take the tone of the next song and combine it with the lyrics of the previous to show that smooth transition between emotions as he grapples with his mental state, the only exception really being Interlude I, as it has an overall bouncy tone to it.

Zach not only made every single song enjoyable, but also unique and heartfelt. Just listen to how his voice shakes during Christie Only Knows. He is genuinely upset and lost, and because of this, he’s better able to convey the HUGE emotion dump that was his album.

Do I recommend it? Yes. I think there’s something in there for everyone, even if you only enjoy one of the songs. However, doing a review is going to be an entire post in and of itself.

Thanks for reading, guys. Now go listen to the album and tell me your thoughts. Does my explanation make sense? Do you have a better idea? Let me know. I want to have a real discussion about it with other people who have listened to the whole thing, not just Interlude IV.

If you haven’t listened to it yet, it’s on YouTube and ITunes. Do yourself a favor and check it out. The whole thing is ~45 minutes long.

Have a link to the playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_n1rA_1uUBtxoATot0ixiTgvdEHhj3lAn4

[intheshadowofsignificance]

The Handmaid’s Tale is stretching my suspension of disbelief to the limit. Spoilers for season 4 below. It’s a wall of text so please be warned.

I can’t insert a cut on mobile so have some space to speed scroll away if you don’t want spoilers.

[[MORE]]

I realize the sheer implausibility of a lot of fiction is what makes it great. I respect the ability of writers to avoid pressure from fans to make everything perfect or explainable. That said, there comes a point where too much plot immunity starts to breakdown the fabric of the story. That’s what’s happening here.

First of all, is it just me or has Gilead gotten immensely soft in season four? I was physically uncomfortable throughout June’s capture scenes because I kept expecting things to get real gory real fast. I’m not complaining about the lack of it, and I understand especially after the recent episode that there are things which impact June much deeper than some of the physical torture ever could, but we are talking about a society who cut out Janine’s eye to make an example of her for talking back. A society that genitally mutilated Emily for being gay. June has lost Gilead several Marthas who will confess everything they know, dozens of their “precious children,” and she gets...waterboarded.

This woman has proven she’ll run away at the first opportunity and inspire a resistance wherever she goes. You’re telling me Gilead really wouldn’t get to a point where they cut off her feet? Burn them until they’re unrecognizable?

Another recurring theme that’s starting to show some wear is the whole “we can’t kill handmaids because they’re a scarce resource” followed almost immediately by killing them. I understand the train couldn’t have been stopped, but for the driver of the bus to start shooting to kill right off? Either handmaids are expendable when they become criminals or they aren’t. Side note: They made it way too easy for the handmaids to run, I’m going to give that somewhat of a pass because maybe Nick had a hand in it. Who can say? But I’m pretty sure I remember Emily being handcuffed at the wrists and ankles on her way to the colonies. They would’ve at the very least done that for fugitives who have run multiple times and resulted in the loss of children, aka leveraging power, and the deaths of countless commanders to this point.

Speaking of Nick, I’m pretty convinced we’re going to find out he’s leading his own secret sect of rebellion among officers headed for “the front.” The guy has, like June, gotten an excessive amount of plot immunity to this point to not have people acting as double agents with him. That kiss in clear view of the bus? You can hide a lot, but being that boldly involved with a traitor in front of witnesses, even if it had just been Lydia? Weird. Now maybe because he’s a man and a trusted one, Lydia’s word wouldn’t stand a chance against his. But there have clearly been rumors that Nick and June are romantically involved. It’s hinted at by other characters all the time and I assume is part of the reason he’s always hanging around when June is dragged back to Gilead. That’s the kind of thing that should, realistically, in a society as strict as this, put him on the wall. At some point Gilead has to be past the point of “making them wish for death is worse than death itself” because someone, somewhere is smart enough to know that, that ideology is going to be what causes them to crumble.

Another thing that’s bothering me: the accommodations of the Waterford’s as war criminals. I can overlook this because their scenes really are interesting and I’m invested in them as characters and in their inevitable comeuppance. However, Serena’s referenced involvement with Nicole or even the idea of her having any hope of it if she can convince a jury she was abused/manipulated/brainwashed is absurd. It has always been absurd that she had access to Nicole in Canada, but now that they have 86 other stolen children, even more so. Obviously they’re not going to send kids back to Gilead even if they’re the product of rape and one biological parent still resides there. They’re shown trying to place those with no relatives in Canada into the foster care system. So WHY are we even entertaining Serena having access to Nicole? This above so much else is implausible to the point of being ridiculous. Fred acknowledges Nicole is no more Serena’s than his. And I can’t help thinking they threw her pregnancy at us to help aid in Serena letting that obsession go. Because seriously there is no way to explain letting that woman be involved with June’s daughter in any way.

Aside from plot immunity, one thing that seriously hurts THT’s credibility is the lack of any sense of time passing. Nick repeatedly references going to the front but it hasn’t happened. If this was really Gilead’s doing would they waste time, and exactly how much has passed since the threat until the actual follow through?

Same way with June’s infected gunshot wound going from oozing pus and not really responding to minimal holistic treatment, to healed enough she can hoist Janine out of a train car.

There’s so much this series does right. The fabric of society is so deeply harrowing and tragic, the characters well rounded and engaging. I love the theme of June’s humanity being rooted so deeply in her maternal love for Hannah and the sense of protection she feels for the teens/kids suffering in Gilead as they are brutalized by grown men. I love that Fred sees through Serena and that they’re both so narcissistic and manipulative and unsettling to the core. I love that the writers know a lot of that existed before Gilead and that they’re both responsible for the way they’ve become as individuals and a couple.

I love that Moira acknowledges her actions are paved in guilt because she’s free and June is suffering. I love that the show doesn’t forget to acknowledge how many people are suffering for June’s choices in such complex ways, and that the alternative to that suffering is compliance or resignation, which is just going to breed more suffering. I love that we see Luke grappling with June’s choices and where they’ve left him too. I love that no one is really made to be a martyr. Deep down, there’s a piece of them all still wondering: what about me? Don’t I matter? Am I going to be okay? And no one really knows.

Having seen THT is renewed not just for the current season, but a fifth, makes me feel like they’re going to push the series to the absolute limit of believability and ruin what had been, despite questionable moments, an amazing run. I really don’t know how much more they’re going to be able to avoid maiming June, killing Nick and Lydia, and a hundred other things. We’ll see.

One of the big spoilers of the trailer was June getting to safety this season, no doubt during the last episode so they can rope us into season 5 where I am praying Hannah hasn’t “reached maturity” yet.

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2020) Part 2

2020 just started but a lot has been going on, please stay healthy in these trying times. Hopefully, these manhwas would keep you entertained (like they did to me) and kept you from being too anxious & lonely.

Flirting with the Villain's Dad

Description:

Ack! I'm trapped in this webnovel, "Brigitte Wants to be Happy!" No prob, I KNOW what's gonna happen so I'll just—wait. I'm not Brigitte? I'm her aunt, Princess Yerenika?! Uh-oh. I'm stuck 20 years before the main plot... and everyone in my generation ends up tragically dead! Her parents, dead. Me, dead. Villain's dad, King Euredian, dead. A-ha! That's the key. I just need to prevent the villain from being born... time to break out some seduction schemes and flirt like my life depends on it!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 a new favorite!

- art style = 5/5 reminds me of rae x noah art and something else

- characters are all good looking, so aesthetic!

- seriously, this is a gem

- f u n n y

- isekai-sh?

- mc is so cute!!!! 

- ml is so so handsome 

- few chaps for now but so goodd

- i’m so excited for whats in store

- read this pls so we can fangirl togetherr!

- conclusion, a very good manhwa and highly recommended!

Invitation of Mystic Messenger

Description:

The official comic adaptation of the dating-sim game phenomenon has arrived! Hana is usually a glass-half-full sort of person, but lately, nothing seems to be going her way. After yet another fruitless day of job hunting, she finds herself pouring out all her frustrations to a stranger in the street. The kind stranger disappears before they get a chance to exchange names or numbers, however, leaving behind a phone with nothing but a single messenger app. “Can you read this message…?” As soon as Hana logs on, username “Unknown” tells her they know the person she is looking for. Although a little suspicious, she is intrigued. Who was the stranger that lent her a shoulder to cry on? Who is this “Unknown” she is chatting with? To find the answers to her questions, she must first accept a mysterious invitation. Time to get reacquainted with Jumin, 707, Zen, Yoosung, Jaehee and the rest of Mystic Messenger!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- ohmyghad

- plot = ?/5 it only has the prologue but i have great expectations bcoz this is base on a game by the same name (if u dont know it then its ok cause i havent played it either lmao)

- artstyle = 5/5 they look so gooood!

- this has great potential & i’m looking forward to how they’ll incorporate it!

- conclusion, april 12th cant come fast enough! i wanna read it!

Lamia Orphe is Dead

Description:

Lamia Orphe is to become the future successor of the Orphe dukedom but at 22 years of age, she suddenly decides to give up her own title. On the other hand, the 2nd Prince, Aquila Theodore Benzer, has powers that transcend beyond that of a normal human. Notorious for being cruel and merciless as the son of the "desert witch," he competes against his brother, the 1st Prince Ethan Tayler Benzer, to succeed the throne. What lies in store for Aquila and Lamia? How are their fates intertwined with the legendary dragon?

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- i cri

- plot = 6/5 because its what it deserves

- artstyle = 4.5/5 

- ml is precious ok he is!

- mc is such a precious bean for wanting to protect her little brother

- this is a gem

- i just wanna cry why do ppl do them dirty huhuhu

- pls read they’re so precious together

- ml treats her like a queen which she deserves

- in this house we dont want toxic males!

- c u t e

- ml loves her so much that its so painful

- conclusion, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

The Villainess Turns the Hourglass

Description:

After her lowly mother married a count, Aria enjoyed a life full of luxury while harassing her gentle stepsister Mielle. Several years later, Aria is about to be executed when Mielle reveals that she wickedly tricked Aria into building the bad reputation that ultimately brought her to the scaffold. Just as Aria desparately wishes she could change her fate, she sees a curious hourglass that takes her back into the past. Now, Aria can destroy Mielle by using her own tactics against her like a true villainess. The power of the hourglass is on her side... Can Aria take everything from Mielle, or will her actions change the past in ways she couldn't have imagined? Based on the hit novel.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 

- artstyle = 3.5/5

- a villain that acts like a villain? check

- f u n n y

- i love manipulative mc (its aria btw)

- aria’s plot and schemes to get back at her backstabbing sister is entertaining

- promising &  full of potential

- cant say much bout ml cause he hasnt made much appearance yet

- interesting concept!!

- conclusion, a new fav!

This Witch of Mine

Description:

In these times, if you're too good or bad at something or simply too beautiful, you're called a witch. The truth is deeper than everyone realizes. Up against dark intentions, an outcast young boy and a mysterious witch will need more than just magic spells and incantations; they’ll need each other.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- why u do this to me author sunbae!

- seriously i just wanna cry after i read this 

- plot = 10/5 because thats what it deserves

- artstyle = 4.5/5 kinda reminds me of lamia orphe’s art style

- a gem

- personal favorite

- i cri

- a rollercoaster ride!

- all characters are lovable & humane

- spoiler: “youre miserable because you love me more than you love them”

- OHMYGHAD

- i love all the male lead & mc ok

- male leads (bcoz they’re many) treats my girls so well i just wanna

- a touching story about love & friendship

- i think this often overlook but READ THIS

- conclusion, a super duper highly recommended series that touches you!

[larauthorized]

Marissa Cooper Analysis

Coop, as Summer calls her. Or Cosmo Girl as Seth refers to her in his comic book. The girl next door whom Ryan first met in that driveway, delivering the most iconic flirtatious pick-up line in history. Yup, we’re going to dive deeper into the one and only Marissa Cooper, the heart of the show, who’s sadly misunderstood and overlooked even in The OC fandom. (Also, because she’s not here to defend herself, but we got you, girl!)

She’s introduced as the rich girl next door, who’s waiting to be picked up by her possibly first, long time boyfriend in the driveway. Later on, we find out that she’s not just the ordinary girl next door. She’s organized and loves planning events (the fashion show was the start of many),  while it may seem like she’s only doing it for her mother’s sake, but you can tell that she really enjoys it as it becomes another way of escapism  from her dysfunctional family (other than drinking that we’ll get into that later). She does this every season that when she’s kicked off the school even for heroic reasons, that’s when everything starts spiraling out of control that she loses herself. 

Now let’s talk about Luke, Marissa’s first, long-time boyfriend who happens to be a water polo guy that Seth might or might not hold hatred for. From the first season, we get to see a glimpse of how her family, well, Julie mostly, is the kind of rich family that forces her to be and stay with Luke just because they “look good on paper”. It reminds me of Blair and Nate from Gossip Girl, another one of Josh Schwartz’s big hit show. However, Marissa doesn’t seem too happy with the rich life that she’s used to, especially when she knows that her father is possibly in deep trouble as cops keep showing up at her door. Enter Ryan. He’s an outsider, someone who’s far different than her, someone that she longed for in years. She’s intrigued, that one is hard to deny. However, when they start talking and conversing in each other as they sneak into the Model Home house, she realizes that they’re not that different, if anything, they’re similar. In a way.. But, when Cotillion comes around, she doesn’t know what to do, as Julie once again, demands that she stays with Luke just because they’re “picture perfect” (doesn’t matter if the guy cheats and whores around behind her back like the asshole he is *sigh*). And if we’re not going to blame Blair Waldorf for letting Nate cheat on her and still choose to be with him, then we’re not going to shame Marissa, either. Yes, we went there. (take that, Bustle and TheTalko!). 

Marissa’s addiction. That one is possibly one of her worst traits, that the writers loved toying around with throughout the seasons. She tends to go overboard with this one as we see on the very first episode where she steals a whole bottle of alcohol and is left on the driveway, passed-out. This is where Ryan comes in, carrying her back to the pool house, indirectly claiming as her savior *this goes both ways for each other throughout the series, by the way*. Her alcoholism isn’t just the only thing that occurs whenever her life’s on downward spiral, it’s also shown in her bedroom sometimes. When she’s on a grey area with her life emotionally, she reflects it on her bedroom, that soon leads to be a makeover project by her best friend, Summer. Summer describes this as a reason why she’s so depressed, which psychologically speaking, can be accurate. Messy rooms are sometimes interpreted as one’s life not being as organized as they expect it to be, therefore they tend to think that “if my life is out of control, then what’s the point of keeping my room clean”? This is definitely what happens to Marissa. 

Her addiction doesn’t even get too much until Season 3. Even after what happens with Ryan’s brother, we rarely see her taking a drop after, Ryan says and I quote, “You’ve been amazing,” She replies with, “I know what it feels like to have someone believes in you when no one else does.” 

 Aside from negative coping, she’s not only known for that, if you’re actually looking closely into her character and not just judging it based on the cover. She’s an avid reader, though it’s barely shown, but we see her having her nose buried in a book every once in a while. Now that I think about it, that and many other positive qualities that she has, should have been focused and explored way more. She’s organized and carries planner whenever she needs to, she’s clearly more than the girl who needed saving if only the writers see that. Cause then maybe, people won’t refer to her as a “tragic” character that the writers want us to believe *she is not*. 

She’s definitely an introvert - compared to her best friend, Summer, who’s more the life of the party. Sure, she goes to parties and surrounds herself with her so-called “friends”, but you can literally see her drinking alone in the corner while Summer is probably having a lot more fun than she is. It’s clear that she only uses party scene as a way to steal alcohol that she will probably drink later at night as a way of coping. She also seems to be uncomfortable around new people and charges her energy while she’s on her own. This is why when she’s kicked off the school and has to go to a new environment, she doesn’t fit in right away, which leads to her insecurity increasing even higher (something that she also struggles with on a daily basis). The insecurity itself is possibly rooted from maternal issues she has, we see that on the very first episode, Julie is critizing her on how she looks, how she takes the comment on a personal level. After overdosing herself in Tijuana, she’s put on Suicide Watch, and we learn that she also suffers from “possible” ED in the past, masking it something that’s not serious because she was very stressed at the time, but is it though? Now, we never really know further cause that storyline is never explored further, we also don’t know if the writers are taking it seriously or just putting heavy weight on her shoulder for fun. Either way, it really sucks for her character, especially when she had other deep trauma issues that are barely addressed throughout the series.

Her savior complex. Now now now, this one is kind of controversial, excluding the last season where the main focus is “Ryan failed to save her”, helping and saving people are actually her forte, just like Ryan - which is why they probably connect in the first place. People love to call she’s selfish and needs saving all the time, but they’re people, who don’t bother to look deeper and judge all they please, it’s sickening. First, despite how problematic it might seem, she tries to help Oliver (no matter how many times Ryan thinks she doesn’t). She sees herself in Oliver and is scared that he might go down the rabbit hole if she leaves him alone, that’s actually sweet and showcases her nurturing side. The only downside is that every guy she does this to, seems to take it the wrong way and thinks of it as more than a friendly gesture. Cause you know, it was the 2000s, boy/girl friendships aren’t as common as it is now. She even lets Ryan go to help Theresa even though she needs him as well, knowing that he literally has an affair with another girl while they are still kind of together. How she’s trying to make  Ryan’s brother feel welcome in the neighborhood, keeping him company, not realizing that Trey might turn out to be the one that truly hurt and destroy her. What makes my blood boil even more is when they call her stupid for trusting Trey, for what, really? For wanting to get to know Ryan’s family because she loves him that much, that she’s willing to go far and beyond? *shudders* Even then, she’s still not thinking of herself when that happens, that her only response when Trey confronts her is “Me?! How about Ryan?” So yeah, I’ll fight anyone who calls her selfish. My ass.  The other thing with Johnny is that, she doesn’t try to save him, she actually sees him as a friend that she can vent to about her traumatic events that happen to her in the previous season. Because, for some reason they make Ryan look and seem like a douche this season and not wanting to talk to her though he always is there for her before *probably for angst, right?*. It’s actually stupid how they twist Johnny around and make him in love with her, leaving her yet alone again, but guess that’s what they’re trying to accomplish with her character as she’s left with her addiction only during this entire thing. 

Saving guys who don’t even deserve a shred of her kindness aren’t the only thing she’s good at - remember Hailey, Kirsten’s sister, who ends up a stripper that one time and how Marissa and Ryan find her and as he’s about to give up after getting kicked out of a club, she’s still optimistic and comes up with a plan to save her? Yeah, that one true partner in crime right there. She also schemes every now and then, not that that’s ever explored deeply in the show, but it’s there. 

Now Volchok, the guy that we all want to punch (Let’s go, Ryan!). She just loses a friend (one she can talk to about traumatic events), deals with s3xual assault and having to shoot someone to save her boyfriend, that’s got to be too much on a teenager girl like her. So no, she doesn’t just do that because she “loves to date bad boys”. There she is, standing and looking around the Model Home house, reconciling of the old times between her and Ryan. She realizes that she wants to be with Ryan and is ready for it too, but she can’t seem to go over to him when the time comes, giving him the mixtape that she makes him. The situation’s reversed, she used to be the rich girl with a mansion, now there she is, barely having her own bedroom, living in a trailer park. To add to that, she’s dealing with traumatic events still, so of course she’s insecure. She thinks she’s not good enough for Ryan and giving in to Volchok is a sign of that. But she wants Ryan to be happy, hence why she chases after Sadie, practically driving the girl into his arms. Poor, poor girl deserves so much better.

Let’s take a breather and talk about her family now. Despite how dysfunctional it might seem on the outside, and how many furniture thrown in the pool, doesn’t erase the fact that she’s a family girl. Jimmy, her father, has a way of coming and going any ways he likes. She even points it out and says, “You know, I wish you’d be like a real dad,” Ouch, that hurt. But it’s true, when it comes to family, she’s looking for a tradition, something stable that she can always cling onto especially when she’s in time of need. This is why when she comes up bringing bagels to the Cohen’s house, she feels warmed and welcomed by the family. It’s the one thing she lacks of in her family. Julie, despite the crazy ways in providing for her, is actually doing a better job at being there for her than Jimmy ever does. Sure, Julie is seen more of a villain in the first season (hell, the woman sleeps with her boyfriend that she lost her virginity to, so if I were her, I’d understand if she wants to, say, take revenge and invite her mom’s sister that Julie strongly hates as part of her master plan), but by the end of Season 3, they really grow stronger as a mother-daughter relationship that we really wish to see more of if given a chance.  Despite not showing much for her and only coming for the drama, she truly cares for her sister, Kaitlin. When she’s done moping around after traumatic events, she drives away to where her sister’s boarding school is, all because she wants to help her sister with something. There she is, finally having drama-free, fun episode where we get to see her strolling around in a sexy school girl outfit, but clearly the writers never catch her a break and hate to see her happy for once. 

Marissa is always seen as beautiful on the outside, but I don’t think she ever feels it at times. Luke’s cheating, probably makes her feel insecure and her mother sleeping with him helps as well. Ryan is the only person who actually sees her. She’s his heather.

People love pointing out her flaws when it comes to her relationship with darling Ryan, but the truth is, she has always been putting him before anyone else. She saves him multiple times throughout the series, even when he’s hardly there for her in Season 3. When she follows him to Chino, she visits his house and finds out more about him as a child - discovering that he used to be in a play dressed as Snoopy (again, she’s finding more and more about him because she cares and loves him deeply). Then, he goes out there saving his brother, not knowing that who he’s dealing with, she comes just in time with a car, saving him. This happens again when he’s broken up with Lindsay, she finds him in the rain, and comforts him, no talking needed. She shot her rapist to save him by the finale. Even in Season 3, when he’s chasing trouble with Volchok going back to his old ways as she’s miles away from Newport, he seeks for her help again, she is quick to respond and be there for him right away. Something he fails to do during this season, don’t ever tell me that she never thinks of him when that’s not true. She encourages him to talk about his architecture dream when they’re both on a college trip (this is such goals!). 

With her neglectful and narcistic parents, emotionally, and Ryan’s who’s more physically, that’s why they click and their relationship works. He doesn’t trust anyone and she doesn’t encourage her bad behavior on him, but they’re both there for each other. Always. She’s his constant, just like he’s hers, she accepts him the way he is because she’s imperfect as well. She sees him as the one thing that she can rely on and that’s really sweet. They both come from dysfunctional family with their own issues in hopes to build one of their own that actually works, at least that’s what we’re all rooting for, right? 

Well, at least, in another world, we see Marissa Cooper and Ryan Atwood sailing away on a boat, travelling, and exploring the world as they should be before settling back down to their roots - Model Home House, Newport. It’s what she deserves. 

[shinygoku]

Top 10 CSatM Episodes (2/2)

See part 1 here

As a few paragraphs and pictures for 10 episodes in a row makes a rather long, unruly beast of a post!

The second half of my personal preferred picks for a Top 10, though the order they’re being listed in doesn’t correspond to my favour, but the order how I watch them on my DVDs. I still suggest you read the first half of the list before this one, all the same~

Spoilers below the cut, be warned! ✂

Crater 101

So this ep is pretty much a sequel to Lunarville 7, and is followed up with Dangerous Rendezvous. Neither of those made the cut of my list though, and even isolated from those it makes a solid story. The most Space-y of all the episodes and a visual treat, cause while we mostly stuck to the stark accommodations of Lunarville 7 in that episode, here we see the grey grimy gloom of the outside of the Moon, and the sharp, delightful contrast of the Mysteron’s fantastic plastic Complex. Here, vivid marbled colours and flashing lights join inorganic shapes that suggest something of the Mysteron’s nature, but as always, nothing conclusive.

Moving away from the lovely Aesthetics, this is also a strong one for characterisation. We get some sweet interactions with The Lads and for this episode only, the Best Female Character in the whole show. Linda Nolan is the controller of Lunarville 6, a smart, capable woman who had her own cool space mission referenced and in fact critical to the plot. She is also relatable in that she catches feelings for Scarlet, so while she’s barking up the wrong tree I still have nothing but respect for her, hehee.

Eerie, tense, interesting and still somewhat funny, this is another episode that eeks into an even higher ranking list than 10, I could comfortably put it in 5 and mmmaybe 3. Though I’m not gonna be able to say definitively as the best episodes all bring something different to the table, and this may just be the strongest in the uniqueness regard.

Fire at Rig 15

I get the feeling this may be an unorthodox choice, somehow? But yeah, I just really enjoy it. It’s not a funny episode, but it is rather exciting, and contains some lovely new music and a sweet scene at the end. The Mysteron’s plot is pretty simple, but should it succeed, devastating as it would be crippling Spectrum’s operations by removing the unique type of fuel all the craft uses.

In a way, it’s kind of like a dark mirror to a typical Thunderbirds setup; whereas in that show the initial fire would be more likely to be accidental or just maybe some ne’er do well like the Hood, this time it’s as simple as the Mysterons reopening the master valve. When traditional firefighters would eventually retreat to make room for International Rescue, here Spectrum themselves have a rather passive role as a professional rolls in. And of course, said man finds himself very, very dead due to further Mysteron interference (see picture), with Black seemingly hypnotising the poor bloke into standing too close to the explosion.

From there his duplicate half buries his original corpse and later receives direct instructions from Black to suicide bomb the nearby refinery, and it’s en route to this is where the thrilling car chase takes place! Scarlet saves the refinery but the whole SPV he was driving is completely ablaze at the end of it. Like my thoughts on Point 783, I really appreciate the human touch to the last scene, with soft music as arrangements are made for Scarlet to recover from the horrible state we’re spared of seeing. Seeing how his ability to recover from death is one of the cornerstones of the whole premise, I love it when we’re allowed a bit more insight into what the other Spectrum personnel do in the situations, in this case White specifically instructing Dr Fawn to make sure Scarlet is comfortable as the process takes place.

Treble Cross

A notable and unique spin of an episode, where a rather routine Mysteron threat takes quite the turn when their assassinated target is brought back to life! It seems by the 2060′s we’ll have cool machinery to do CPR for a couple of hours as well as doctors ready to play god when they happen to drive by the car crash scene, heheh

Seriously though, this is a really fresh premise, that the villains who have been using doppelgangers for their devious schemes get the tables turned. This time the duplicate gets perma-killed while the original Major Gravener willingly participates in an undercover mission to help draw Captain Black into a trap at last... However, an easily overlooked factor in the driver who was also killed had been duplicated offscreen, so even with this amazing chance Spectrum can’t catch Black. But the World Capital, Futura City, is saved and Spectrum find the Mysterons themselves can’t tell their own copies from the original person, so it’s all in all a net gain!

Also this episode contains the World’s Happiest Clock, so that’s a neat plus.

Flight 104

We start this story on the incredible note of Captain Blue singing in the shower of the Hotel room he shares with Captain Scarlet. Scarlet then orders them both room service for some lunch. And if that sounds like the start of a fanfic plot, it may well be, but it’s also literally right there in the episode, baybee!

Charmingly domestic opening aside, I love this whole shebang. Again it’s the usual Mysterons threatening of an individual who Spectrum are bodyguarding, but the way both our heroes and villains go about this is different from the norm. Scarlet and Blue are trying to avoid drawing attention, so they spend the whole episode in normal clothes (Blue spending 1/3 of this in that comfy bathrobe!), and don’t have their comms. What’s more, they get a pair of reporters suspicious, and the two trail them looking for a Big Scoop.

When I was first watching this, I was expecting the journalists to get killed by Black to be the Mysteron Pawns, but no! They’re both fine from the start to the end! Then we find Black doing ....something.... to the Flight Crew of the titular Flight 104, but they aren’t killed either, just drugged. Instead, the Mysterons remotely pilot the plane on a slow collision course with the Alps, but are undone when an Electrical Plant interferes with their control.

As breaking into the pilot cabin had the side effect of jamming the landing gear, the plane has to crash land at the airport, but almost everyone being unharmed makes this one of the most gentle episodes of the lot... of course, Scarlet himself is still heavily implied to have been killed from the crash, but even his injuries seem pretty minor this time. And yet, it’s not lacking in excitement, as the tension of Spectrum trying to communicate with the two without their Comms and the inability to override the Mysteron’s control until that pre-established Electrical weakness kicks in holds for a while.

Inferno

Those who know of me from Thunderbirds are Go (the 2015 TV series) discussion are likely to know how much I love the episode from Season 1, Tunnels of Time. It heavily features my favourite ship in that show as they explore an ancient South American Temple which is full of peril. The temple is destroyed by the end of the episode.

So anyway, Inferno features my favourite ship in this show as they explore an ancient South American Temple which is full of peril, and tragically the temple is destroyed by the end of the episode! Heheeheheee~

Ok seriously though, eerie parallels aside this is another utterly beautiful instalment, with set design and lighting that really blows other episodes out of the proverbial water. And the pyrotechnic team clearly had fun with the seemingly unending explosions at the end of the adventure. An all-around visual feast!

Main plot is relatively simple, like in White as Snow, the Mysterons kill a Satellite and its crew and steer the reconstructed version towards their target of the week. Unlike WaS, they succeed in the end, a reminder that they’re still not to be underestimated. No human lives are lost, but the important complex and more tragically, the 800 year old temple that’s otherwise intact, get bombed to smithereens. Something something additional cost of warfare on Culture and History.

But while this is the end of my personal Top 10 list, it’s not all bad, because the Scarlet and Blue antics in the temple are utterly lovely and [chef finger kiss] splendid cinema~!

That about wraps up this Two-part post of mine! Picking 10 out of 32 is easier than 10 out of 100, but it’s still tricky as most of the episodes are very good, with only a few I’d promptly write off as a candidate for the list. And in some ways I wonder if I went about this the right way, some eps I only saw once and might feel strong enough to pip one’a the ones I did choose.

I have been rewatching each of the eps covered, and a few that didn’t make it, but my initial choice was made looking at the full list and letting my gut grab a few, having to think over more as the slots filled. Some fan favourites like Lunarville 7 came close, but I hope I’ve been able to clearly convey what it is about this selection that gave them the edge ;3

I will write further posts on Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons in the future, but after this mammoth and also the Notable Episodes list I’d quite like to enjoy it for a while without thinking about points to talk about, haha