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alexstalkers · 1 month ago

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Holding Onto Us

Season 1 Ryissa; they stay together after the news of Theresa's pregnancy; but will it break them apart? 💕❤️

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Marissa sat on the edge of her bed, her fingers lightly tracing the edges of a photo on her nightstand—a moment captured with Ryan, their smiles bright and carefree under the summer sun. She couldn’t remember a time when it had been so simple between them. They were just two people, caught in a moment of happiness, unaware of the complexity that would come to define their relationship.

Now, every moment with him felt heavier than the last. Theresa’s pregnancy was spiraling, and Ryan was doing everything he could to be there for her. Marissa knew he had to, and she tried to understand, really, she did. But every time he walked out that door, her heart seemed to break just a little more.

She wasn’t sure if it was the constant uncertainty about the baby or the growing distance between her and Ryan, but something in her chest clenched tight whenever she thought about him spending so much time at the hospital with Theresa. She tried not to let it show, tried to bury the rising panic deep inside, but it was getting harder.

The door to her room creaked, and Marissa looked up, wiping her eyes quickly before anyone could notice. Summer stepped in, her eyes instantly softening when she saw the rawness on Marissa’s face.

“You’ve been quiet,” Summer said, her voice more serious than usual. “You okay?”

Marissa forced a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She shook her head, trying to dismiss the weight she felt in her chest. “Yeah. Just tired, I guess.”

Summer raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying the answer. “Come on, Coop. I know when you’re not okay. You’ve been holding it in for too long.” She sat down beside Marissa, her gaze unwavering.

Marissa sighed, the tightness in her throat threatening to spill over. She wanted to be strong, for Ryan, for herself—but the truth was, the more she tried to hold it together, the more she felt like she was falling apart.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to share him.”

Summer didn’t say anything at first, letting the silence sit between them. She could see it in Marissa’s eyes—her confusion, her fear.

“I love him, Summer. I love him so much. But every time he leaves to be with Theresa, it feels like I’m losing him. I try to understand, I do. But when he’s there for her, I feel like he’s slipping away from me. And I can’t tell him that, because he’s already got so much on his plate. He’s being the good guy, the honorable guy, and I know he has to be there for her. But I don’t know how to keep pretending that I’m okay with it when I’m not.”

Her voice cracked on the last part, and Marissa squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. She didn’t want to cry in front of Summer, didn’t want to seem weak, but the emotions inside her were overflowing.

Summer’s face softened, and without a word, she pulled Marissa into a tight hug, letting her cry into her shoulder. Marissa’s sobs were quiet, but each one felt like it was tearing her apart from the inside out. The helplessness. The jealousy. The fear of losing Ryan when he had always been her anchor.

“I’m scared, Summer,” Marissa whispered through her tears. “I’m scared of losing him to her. He’s doing the right thing, I know he is. But what if it’s not enough? What if it changes everything?”

Summer didn’t pull away. Instead, she held her tighter, offering the kind of comfort that Marissa desperately needed but didn’t know how to ask for.

“I know it’s hard,” Summer said, her voice soft but steady. “And I know you’re worried, but you have to remember, you’re not the only one feeling this. Ryan’s probably just as scared as you are. He’s there for Theresa because he has to be, but that doesn’t mean he’s slipping away from you.”

Marissa sniffled, pulling back slightly to look at Summer. “But what if he is? I don’t want to be the girl who asks for more when she knows someone else needs him more. I don’t want to be selfish.”

“You’re not selfish, Coop. You’re just human.” Summer’s voice was warm but firm. “You’re scared, and you love him. It’s natural to feel this way. But you can’t carry all of this on your own. You have to talk to him about it.”

Marissa looked down, picking at the hem of her shirt. “I don’t want to make things harder for him. He’s already dealing with so much.”

“You’re not making things harder, you’re just being real with him. He’s going to want to know what’s going on in your heart. And you can’t keep pretending like everything’s okay when it’s not. If you do that, it’s just going to eat you up inside.”

The room was silent for a moment as Marissa processed Summer’s words. The truth in Summer’s words settled deep in her chest, cutting through the fog of her anxiety. She knew her best friend was right—holding everything inside wasn’t helping anyone, least of all herself. But the idea of telling Ryan, of admitting how much this was hurting her, felt terrifying. What if it made things worse? What if it pushed him further away?

Marissa sighed shakily, wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. "What if he thinks I'm being too much? What if he resents me for not being stronger about all of this?"

Summer gave her a look—the kind only a best friend could give, equal parts tough love and unwavering support. "Ryan loves you, Coop. And if he doesn’t know how much this is hurting you, how is he supposed to make it better? You’ve both been through too much together to let this break you now."

The thought of Ryan—his quiet strength, the way he always pulled her back when she felt like she was falling—made her heart ache. Through Oliver, through her drinking, through every mistake and misstep, he had stayed. And now, as much as it hurt to see him wrapped up in Theresa’s world, she couldn’t walk away from him. Not when she loved him this much.

Taking a shaky breath, Marissa whispered, "I don’t want to lose him, Sum."

"And you won’t," Summer promised softly, squeezing her hand. "But you have to trust him enough to tell him how you feel."

Marissa nodded, feeling the weight in her chest shift slightly—not gone, but lighter now that she’d said it out loud. She knew what she had to do.

That evening, Marissa sat in the pool house, her nerves twisting in her stomach as she watched Ryan move around the small space. He had just come back from the hospital—again. His jaw was tense, his shoulders heavy with exhaustion. And yet, when he turned to look at her, his expression softened in a way that always made her heart skip.

"Hey," he said quietly, sitting down beside her on the bed. "Sorry I’m late. Theresa had some complications, but she and the baby are okay for now."

Marissa nodded, forcing a smile even though her chest ached. "I’m glad she’s okay," she said sincerely. "I know how much you care about her."

Ryan ran a hand through his hair, a sigh escaping his lips. "I just… I can’t let her go through this alone. If the baby’s mine—"

"I know," Marissa cut in softly, her voice trembling. "And I love you for that, Ryan. I love how much you care. But… it’s hard." She hesitated, gathering the courage to say the words sitting heavy on her heart. "Sometimes, it feels like I’m losing you. And I don’t know how to tell you that without feeling selfish."

His head snapped up at that, his eyes searching hers with quiet intensity. "Marissa… you’re not losing me. I swear, you’re not." He reached for her hand, threading their fingers together as if grounding her to him. "I know I’ve been gone a lot. And I hate that it’s hurting you. But you’re the one thing that’s been keeping me together through all of this."

A tear slipped down her cheek, but this time, she didn’t brush it away. "I just—sometimes I see how much you’re doing for her, and I know you’re being the good guy, but I miss us. I miss you. And it scares me because… what if the baby is yours? What happens to us then?"

Ryan shifted closer, his thumb brushing gently over her knuckles. "If the baby’s mine, I’ll step up. But that doesn’t change how I feel about you." His voice was rough with emotion, raw in a way that made her heart ache. "I love you, Marissa. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to lose us either."

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The air between them felt heavy but no longer suffocating. Slowly, Marissa leaned into him, letting his warmth seep into the cold fear that had been gripping her heart for weeks. Ryan wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest like he was afraid to let go.

"I’m scared too," he admitted quietly, his lips brushing against her hair. "But we’ve been through so much already. I don’t want this to break us."

Marissa closed her eyes, letting the rhythm of his heartbeat calm her. "Me either," she whispered. "I just need to know I still matter to you."

"You do," he promised, pulling back just enough to meet her gaze. "You always will."

And in that moment, with his arms around her and his heart open to hers, Marissa believed him. The road ahead wasn’t going to be easy—but together, they could face whatever came next.

Because no matter how complicated life got, they were still holding on to each other. And for now, that was enough.

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it, if you did, please share and reblog and request!

#fanfic #marissa cooper #ryan atwood #seth cohen #summer roberts #the oc #fanfic x reader #black reader #ryissa

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