#she’s my fave therapist I’ve ever had.

[dumb-doll-lips]

My therapist just told me I’ve shown a lot of growth over the last few months. Im like so winning at therapy. ✨

[biconickyoshi]

tag games :)

Woooo thanks for tagging me @the-cloud-whisperer!! :) I’ve never done one of these before!

* Last song I listened to: Telephone Number by Junko Ohashi (classic city pop bop)

* Favorite color: Forest green - I painted my home office this color and it’s very calming (plus gives off hobbit vibes)

* Currently watching: Dungeon Meshi, didn’t expect to like it as much as I do but I look forward to every new ep and even binged the manga the other day :)

* Spicy/savory/sweet: Savory all the way, can’t handle too much spicy or sweet at a time T-T

* Relationship status: Married

* Current obsession: Strongest and longest running special interest is A:tLA since 2007, specifically Zukaang now ever since late 2021 when I had an epiphany about the ship and started writing The Avatar and the Fire Prince :)

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🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

* Take A Chance With Me - NIKI (literally fits Zukaang so well so I listen to it a lot)

* Lovegod - Sarah Kinsley (the piano in this makes me feel so nostalgic and gives me extreme Debussy vibes)

* Naked in Manhattan - Chappell Roan (sapphic bop)

* That’s Me - Gnoss (celtic music is just 🤌🏻✨ i love it so much)

* Bewitched - Laufey (I feel like im in an old disney movie when I listen to this)

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nickname: KJ

zodiac sign : gemini, but none of the gemini traits fit with my personality so I don’t much believe in astrology lol. if I’d have been born just a day or two later I’d be a cancer and much more inclined to believe in it bc it fits me way better

height : 5'4"

last thing I googled: tripleS members (a kpop group my sister recently introduced me to lol)

amount of sleep: usually 6-7 hours, I recently got diagnosed with mild sleep apnea so I wake up literally every hour or two and i have to use a cpap 😔

dream job: hmm well I guess I’m working it right now (I’m a therapist)? when I was a kid I wanted to be on broadway (I was big into musical theater/choir)… now I honestly kinda don’t really “enjoy” working in general even though there are parts of my job that I enjoy. I honestly get the most satisfaction out of doing things I like for my own enjoyment (like writing and drawing) rather than for monetary gain.

movie/book that describes me the most: uhhhhhh I guess I’d say LotR, I very much relate to Frodo lol (which is one of the reasons he’s my pfp on my main blog). I also love its portrayal of wholesome masculinity and kindness/goodness conquering all.

favorite song: hard to choose… there’s literally so many I like lol. I really love 1of1 (both the album and the song) by SHINee (my fave kpop group)

favorite instrument: I would say the mandolin or the fiddle

favorite aesthetics: I really enjoy the vibe of whimsigoth, though my personal style does not incorporate it. I attempted it a couple years ago but felt it was too femme - nowadays I wear “fashionable” men’s clothes (layers, button-ups, men’s jeans)

favorite author: Charlotte Brontë simply because I love Jane Eyre so much. She made me feel so many emotions with that novel 😭 I related to Jane a bit too much

random fun fact: hmmmm well I was the lead in two different musicals when I was in high school which was pretty neat! I mentioned somewhere above that I wanted to be on broadway growing up so that’s the closest i’ve gotten to that lmao

Gonna tag some of y’all if you wanna play (no pressure tho) :)

@finn0cchio @my-cabbages-gorl @veggiesforpresident @buncly13 @asukas-numberone-defender @zeno-zero @rennelelorren @gordielaweirdo @isthei @kirinjaegeste

[jenkinsknope]

Time for the annual year post lads

I am so glad 2022 is over. Going no contact with my mum is one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through. I frantically had to find somewhere new to live after my landlord decided he wanted me out (presumably because I refused to pay more rent during my fixed term) and the communication from his office was confusing and appalling. I spent a lot of last year with a tense body and just about surviving. I really, really hope that 2023 is kind to me. 

But, as always, this is about pulling out the good things that happened.

1. I adopted a cat! I picked her up two days after my birthday and she is asleep in my lap as I’m writing this. She is so affectionate. She comes to meet me at the door whenever I return. Her walking towards me with a crooked tail and slow blinking is maybe my favourite thing in the world.

2. I feel a lot more confident in my abilities at work and I feel more comfortable giving my opinions. I was elected co-chair of the LGBT staff network and I like being in a leadership role. I’m good at it, because I’m organised and I’m responsive when people need me. 

3. I went on a bikepacking weekend for people of colour. It was my first time cycling off road and I definitely underestimated how challenging it would be, but it was also so much fun. We got to ride on top of a cliff with the sea below.

4. I cycled from London to Brighton and raised nearly £500 for the National Association of People Abused in Childhood. The scenery was beautiful and I actually really enjoyed the ride.

5. I went to Butch Please a bunch and helped host meet ups for people who needed a group to go with. I met and had some great conversations with queer people a couple of decades older than me.

6. I took on more responsibility in the mutual aid group I volunteer with and had relationships transition from acquaintance level to friend level. 

7. I made new friends through my cycling club including with someone who actively pursued being my friend! One of my fave evenings was a different friend’s birthday at the velodrome they work at. We did silly games around the track, hung out on the steps as the sun was setting and cycled under the moon. I spent a lot of time at the velodrome either getting my ass kicked at track or helping out with races and it was always fun. It’s nice to have a place that feels like a second home in a way. 

8. I was more vulnerable including disclosing some things about my childhood with a person I was dating. While that relationship didn’t work out, I’m proud of myself for trusting someone and turning away from shame.

9. I completed a counselling skills course which affirmed that I do want to be a therapist and I’ve been able to use some of the skills in conversations with friends. 

10. I saw Self Esteem and MUNA live and had a lovely and meaningful time at their gigs. 

[eightypercentjack-blog]

One time on a flight that was too short to have movies available but long enough that I needed a distraction, I spent that time listening to FOB songs and noting down my fave lyrics.

Somehow even that unintentional pre=prep still didn’t prep me for this and I’m 28 days behind already. Catching up and completing with a mega-post because I love so many of Pete’s lyrics and love Patrick singing them with his gorgeous voice even more!

Grand Theft Autumn: “Maybe he won’t find out what I know, you were the last good thing about this part of town”

A Little Less Sixteen Candles: “You said you’d keep me honest, but I won’t call you on it” (one of my fave lyrics in general, love the way he delivers it)

America’s Suitehearts: “I’m in love with my own sins”

The Last of the Real Ones: “I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me” (one of my all time fave FOB songs)

Bang the Doldrums: “This is a love song in my own way, happily ever after below the waist”

So Much For Stardust: “I used to be a real go-getter, I used to think it’d all get better” (could have put the entire lyric of the song tbh, it’s so sad but so gorgeous)

Bishops Knife Trick: “I know I should walk away, know I should walk away, but I just want to let you break my brain, and I can’t seem to get a grip, no, no matter how I live with it”

The World’s Not Waiting: “Start the van, get me out of this one-horse town”

Centuries: “You’re a cherry blossom, you’re about to bloom, you look so pretty but you’re gone so soon”

Champion: “If I can live through this, I can do anything” (people call this song cheesy but the way Patrick sings it with so much conviction makes it work really well for me)

Hum Hallelujah: “I love you in the same way, there’s a chapel in the hospital, one foot in the bedroom, and one foot out the door” (Love this song!)

Dance, Dance: “I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me”

What A Time To Be Alive: “I’m going neon in the night time”

Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes: “what a match, I’m half-doomed and you’re semi-sweet” (it’s the obvious choice, I know, but this song is just awesome)

This Ain’t A Scene: “Prima Donnas of the gutter, at night we’re painting your trash gold”

Our Lawyer Made Us: “we’re only liars, but we’re the best”

What A Catch, Donnie: “I will never end up like him, behind my back I already am, keep a calendar, this way you will always know”

She’s My Winona: “Never the same person when I go to sleep as when I wake up”

Grenade Jumper: “living like life’s going out of style”

Headfirst Slide: “The last time you came through, oh darling I know what you’re going through, the last time you came through”

My Songs Know: “A constellation of tears on your lashes, burn everything you love, then burn the ashes”

I’ve Got A Dark Alley: “the poets are just kids that didn’t make it”

Thnks fr th Mmrs: “this crystal ball, it’s always cloudy except for when you look into the past”

Realised this was This Ain’t A Scene again so changed it to a song of my choice – XO, possibly my favourite song of all if I absolutely had to pick: “put your ear to the speaker and choose love or sympathy, but never both” (but really could have put the whole song)

Hold Me Like A Grudge: “part-time soulmate, full-time problem, so hold me like a grudge”

Tell That Mick: “stop burning bridges and drive off of them”

Realised this was WATTBA again so again changed to a song of my choice – W.A.M.S: “freckle, freckle, what makes you so special?” (picked this cause of my all-consuming freckle-obsession)

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: “loaded words and loaded friends are loaded guns to our heads”

Save Rock and Roll: “You are what you love, not who loves you” (amen)

Sugar, We’re Going Down: “I’m just a notch in your bedpost, but you’re just a line in a song”

Final substitution, from We Didn’t Start The Fire since it wasn’t originally theirs, is just listing events and is one of the very very few times I can’t appreciate Patrick’s voice properly. Could have picked sooo many alternatives as there’s so many more lyrics I love in songs not on this list but went with Miss Missing You for this absolute gut-wrencher of a lyric: “sometimes the person you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger”

Inspired to do a further FOB lyric post if I can dig out that one I did on the plane!

DAY 1

“I could be an accident but I'm still trying.”

LOVE THIS SONG AND TTTYG !!

[simblrd]

15 questions

Tagged by @pixelatedpanic​ tysm! I had to double check to make sure it was me lol!

Are you named after anyone? Nope! My parents couldn’t decide on a name for me because they thought I was going to be a boy so it was a last minute thing.

When was the last time you cried? Friday, was feeling very lonely because I don’t know anyone in the new town I’m living in. Almost cried in the car earlier because of my memory issues. I cry all the time, it’s a miracle if I don’t cry on any day, I just have very heightened emotions.

Do you have kids? No and I don’t plan on it ever

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Fluent

What sports do you play/have you played? I only played sports when I was in elementary school, I’m not a sports person at all

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Also the vibes, I have a list on my phone of people who I pick up bad vibes on and wait to be proven right (so far I’ve been right every time)

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings! I hate scary movies, they were my ex’s favorite genre and one of our first dates we watched a scary movie and it sent me into a panic attack lol

Any special talents? My therapist is gonna hate me but nope, I don’t really know anything I would consider myself talented at.

Where were you born? The Northeast

What are your hobbies? Video games, I picked up paint by numbers recently, I crochet sometimes, I go through hobbies like the weather changes

Do you have any pets? Technically 2 but I will always say 3. I have a beagle, a doodle, and my other beagle passed in November and she will always be in my heart (can I amend question #2?)

How tall are you? 5′6

Fave subject in school? History in high school, then once I got to college and got to pick whatever I wanted, lots of crime and psychology courses

Dream job? Forensic psychologist but that’s a lot of schooling and is unfortunately not compatible with my ADHD

Eye color? Brown

Ty again! I’m pretty sure everyone and their mother has done this now if it got all the way down to me, but feel free to be tagged if you haven’t done it yet!

[aurora-daily]

Hello warriors! I’m a recent fan & have been going down the rabbit hole on youtube. There are so many Aurora videos & documentaries (I felt very emotional watching the HAIK one yesterday) - so I wondered if you had any favourite ones to recommend?

I’m a music therapist based in Edinburgh (Scotland) & am finding her music just so moving. It’s so emotive & healing isn’t it? Although I work with music everyday, as a way to help & connect with people, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to music that’s had this effect on me before. And it’s becoming clear that Aurora has this effect on everyone who hears her music. I wonder if there’s a space anywhere where people share their own versions of her music, or collaborate together on covers? Just some ideas I had. Sorry if this is too many questions, I’m not very good at the internet!

Really enjoying your page, keep it up! 🎶 Lissy

Hello, lovely warrior Lissy! ♥☆✧

Your message really brightened up my evening, it's so great to see professionals seeing her music as a healing tool because it really is like a warm embrace from a person who heard you on things you went through and retold the story from such a persective so that you have a sparkle of hope and don't feel completely left out with your different maybe from majority feelings... There's this feeling of self-acceptance that only her music gives through being so complicated and multi-dimentional both lyrically and sonically, just like the essense of any person on this planet...

I'm really happy to see more people getting into her way of expressing her thoughts in music and resonating so much, really, you have so many great discoveries ahead! HAIK is indeed emotional, both performance and documentary part, it's defo on my top list! I recently was asked by anonymous warrior about my favourite live performances, and, the list will be the same (all titles are clickable and lead to the mentioned video!):

Nidarosdomen Christmas concert (church, orchestra, AURORA, what else to wish for, especially when Fredrik kicked off his best solo during My Universe), the Japan concert from the end of 2020 (acoustic renditions felt fresh), Somewhere Else Festival 2020 (lights! concept!), my all-time fave live Kex Hostel in Reykjavik during Iceland Airwaves 2018 (aka the first KEXP: the best sound, the best Gentle Earthquakes, the best Forgotten Love, Vetle doing his magic all overon synths), “A Touch of the Divine” (ART), Live at St Michaelis Church / Reeperbahn Festival Hamburg (no professional recordings but chills all over from A Different Kind of Human alone), VIERLIVE live stream with Bergen Philarmonic Orchestra (she has grown so incredibly much as a vocalist since Nidarosdomen), COP26 (a huge portion of love here goes to Fredrik Svabø), and NRK P3 September last year (Magnus is the best backing vocalist for her confirmed)!

As for documetaries... "Once Aurora" will answer ALL your questions regarding her personality, tour and usual life, it's one of the most unique documentaries I've ever seen and a must-check for you, please, don't hesitate to watch! It'd be also important (also to you as a professional!) to check out Lifekeys Talks interview with her: a good insight into her childhood, influences in life and reasons to create music! "Nothing is Eternal" was a good short early documentary which holds a special sentiment to me as one of the first things I've watched while getting into her world! Also really love her small guide into happy life for Glasto 2019, so simple and so AURORA! Also really recommend "Sounds Like A Plan"podcast for getting some wisdom from her and, goodness, there are so many insightful interviews with her and this is all just off the top of my head! Also I have a special tag for the interviews [link] with many posts I stumbled ipon and articles I archived here, so, please, take a look!

As for the space where people share their own versions of her music... A lot of people do that on Instagram mostly tagging her and sometimes on TikTok, happens on YouTube too! Sometimes AURORA France [link] shares some of their favourite covers of AURORA on Sundays! Several years ago even Melbourne Indie Voices performed onstage a cover of The Seed! Also would say that AURORA herself makes wonderful covers, she really makes them in such unique and her own way, always astonishing!

Hope to hear from you here, please, do share more about your discoveries!

Have a magical day!

-Nikol

[sofia-bach]

figarofabbri​:

“Baking and bird watching,” Fig said with a nod, “That’s really cool, would you ever open a bakery? If you haven’t already–or maybe that’s too much info. Your taste in music is great, by the way.” Fig answered. Fig wracked her head for if any of that information tipped her off on who the person might be, when paired with their outfit and size. She still was mostly drawing a blank. For all her thoughts about the girl being so anxious, at the feeling of her hand upon their hip, Fig’s outgoing confidence shifted into something shy, and lost for words for a few seconds. It was easy to be bold, but there was something really, really nice about being sweet. Fig held her breath for a little too long, and hoped her dancing partner would not notice as Fig looked down a bit as well, trying to find their footing, before looking back up, taking a breath, and deciding she’d just follow her lead. It would not be the most graceful dance, but at least she could avoid stepping on toes or ruining shoes.

“It’s complicated.” Fig grimaced a bit at the question. One part of Fig told them not to dig into it, this is a party not a therapy session. The other part of Fig was desperate to finally have someone she could say her worries out loud to, without worrying about their reaction.

“It’s more…..People, usually women, approach me at parties because they wanna make out and stuff, which like, I’m more than happy to, that’s just fun, and I’ve had a few hook ups here and there, and like, I’ll get coffee or drinks with them maybe once or twice after, but it never really goes past that. Usually because it’s one of those, wanting to confirm they like girls before they ask the girl they really want to be with out. Which, glad I’m people’s gay crisis and helping so many couples get together, but…..I do deep down kind of hope that one day someone will ask me for coffee before the party even happens, or even after the party and then we just keep getting coffee and stuff, hold hands and build blanket forts and watch movies in, go to my sports games-unless they’re on the team…I guess that means they’d be there anyways, late night lattes or tea or hot chocolate while painting or reading, going to concerts and stuff—not just the back seat of my truck. But my therapist is always like ‘You’re only in university and twenty two, two have so much time you’re just a baby” and she’s right but–“ Fig stopped herself, and looked back with embarrassment, "I am rambling way too much, I am SO sorry. I’d say is the whiskey I had earlier but I only had one and it didn’t hit at all so really just this is me….. Kind of really failing at being the cool aloof stranger woof anyways I hope that wasn’t too uncomfortable,” Fig laughed nervously. “Feel free to just ramble if you ever wanna too, like totally ok with that, I’m like SO sorry again. And um, I think it depends. Devil Wears Prada is probably my fave film. But I kinda just like specific movies that like, move me, you know? Not really one genre.”

.

“Thank you. I don’t think I’d open a bakery, I’m much too focused on getting my degree. And later on, I would like to find some job related to my field of study,” Sofia said, carefully avoiding mentioning her specific major. “It’s just a hobby I have. My stepmother says it’s a useful one, since we always have cookies and pastries and the like for guests to have with some tea or coffee... But we don’t have guests at home that often, really. And I usually end up eating them myself." Sofia used to feel quite self-conscious about that. She still did, most often than not, really. “May I ask, do you play sports at Redwood College?” she ventured to say, to get out of her own head.

Dancing a stiff waltz, Sofia took care to keep a respectable distance between herself and the other person, swaying slow enough to give them time to move along at their own pace. She had never lead a dance, and it showed. At least her partner wasn’t rushing her. At least they weren’t huffing in frustration or janking her around and clearing their throat to tell her to hurry up. Little relief, when Sofia herself knew she should have practised before coming. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long time since I’ve danced at all.”

The birdwatcher listened to what the cat-mask person had to say. Her fingers closed just a little tighter in the other’s hand. The experiences were not at all like her own, but there was something in there that she felt very close, and very deeply. They were confident, but perfectly able (without a drink on them!) to voice their own vulnerabilities. There was little that Sofia herself could say, though, beyond a sincere ‘someday you’ll find the right one’, which wasn’t really much of a relief in the present. “I think I would like to get coffee with you,” Sofia said softly. “Well, I’m not really a coffee drinker, but I can always order some tea.” Was that wise? This person had just said that they would go out for coffee with some of these ‘hook-ups’ every once in a while, but that they never went farther than that. Could she promise them she wouldn’t do the same? Cat-mask was so honest and accomodating, but Sofia knew how hurtful it could be, to start something just for it to fizzle out faster than a lit match. “I do like girls. I do already know that,” she stated a little clumsily. “And please, you don’t need to apologize. It’s alright to ramble.”

Sofia took a deep breath. She still didn’t know who this person could be, and with the very small pool of acquaintances she had, she was already certain she wouldn’t recognize this person even if they told her their name. In a sense, that made her feel a little safer than she expected. “Me, I... I guess I am just afraid that any love I have will always be just in my mind. I see someone I find cute and nice, and I like them so much it’s like... I already make up a whole story in my mind about how they might love me, and I think of how I would love them back, but I never act on it. And apart from that...” Sofia gulped. They had been so sincere and genuine with her, and she now felt she needed to be sincere like that as well. “I think that... That maybe nobody will ever like me for long. As if there is something that they will notice, and make them decide that they’ve had enough of me, and leave. As if I could only be loved at a distance, if at all.”

[percervall]

Pumpkin spice lattes

Player: Jan Oblak Words: 1221 Requested: - Warnings: Mentions of injuries A/N: Jan seemed like the kind of person who'd secretly enjoy a PSL 🤷‍♀️ Let me know what you think!

Autumn masterlist

Click here if you'd like to be added to the taglist

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“Hey,” she said, peering around the doorframe, “ready?”

Jan turned around and groaned when he saw it was her, making her grin. 

“Come on, you know you’ll feel better afterwards.” 

Jan rolled his eyes at that.

“She’s right, it’s important to build up strength through low impact exercise,” his physical therapist said.

“Not you too,” Jan groaned.

“Come on sunshine, I’ll buy you a coffee.” 

The prospect of something that tasted better than the stuff they offered in the dining hall finally swayed him. Jan sighed and got up from the massage table. 

“Fine,” he grumbled, following her out of the training facility. It was a hell of his own making, if he was being honest. They had met during an Atletico press day a few years ago. She had played as a goalkeeper for the women’s team, so they ended up chatting about the differences between the men’s and women’s leagues, and swapped stories about their favourite saves. Long story short, they became best friends. And then she suffered a career ending injury. Jan came to see her every day while she was still in hospital. When she got out, Atletico offered her a job on the social media side of things. During the first six months, he would come by her office and drag her along for walks while her shoulder was still healing, and later he’d drag her along to the gym for workouts. And now she was returning the favour while he was recovering from a ligament injury in his ankle. 

“You get to pick, 1k or 2k?” she asked, referring to the distance. Jan knew he should go for the longer distance, but that involved stairs which he wasn’t looking forward to after today’s session in PT.

“1k, my ankle already took a beating thanks to Óscar.” She chuckled and linked her arm with his.

“Alright, 1k it is then.” 

Jan was grateful to be able to sit down once they got to the café they both loved. His ankle wasn’t hurting per se, but it had started to throb. He let himself fall on the bench with a groan.

“Same as always?” she asked. Jan nodded as he tried to breath through the pain. He turned sideways so he could rest his leg on the bench as well, and the elevation eased some of the pain. Jan enjoyed the sunshine for a while, closing his eyes and tilting his face up. He noticed her leaving the café, pretty much dancing towards him. 

“An Americano for the grump and a PSL for me!”

“A PS-.. What’s a PSL?” Jan asked as he took his coffee from her. He pointedly ignored her calling him a grump. It was one of her nicknames for him and he begrudgingly accepted that. To be fair, he was grumpy. The rehab was taking longer than he’d like and it was wearing him down. She lifted his injured leg and sat down, resting his foot in her lap. 

“Only a gift from the coffee gods; Pumpkin spice latte. I was hoping they’d have them. These are my fave this time of year,” she beamed at him. 

“Can’t say I’ve ever had one,” Jan said, taking a sip from his own coffee. She gasped, turning to look at him with wide eyes. 

“Jan Oblak, you my friend have not truly lived. Here,” she said, handing him her cup. He looked at her, not fully trusting she wasn’t pulling his leg, and took a tempative sip.

“Jesus,” he muttered. She laughed and took the cup back.

“That’s diabetes in liquid form!” Jan said incredulously. 

“I know,” she said, eyes twinkling with mirth, “isn’t it the best?” 

He threw her a look, eyebrows raised as if to say are you kidding me? which only made her laugh again, head thrown back. Jan shook his head and took another sip of his black coffee to rinse out the overly sweet drink. 

“I don’t always get them, but I came to realise life’s too short to only drink boring coffee,” she said, shrugging one shoulder and taking another sip of her latte. They were quiet for a moment while he mulled that over in his head. If he was honest with himself, Jan had to admit that she was right; life was too short to only do the things you had to do and not do the things you loved. 

“Could I try another sip, now that I know to expect pure sugar?” Jas asked. She chuckled and handed him the cup. Jan took another sip, picking up on the different spices this time. Yes, it was still sweet, but it was.. Nice. The spices were very autumnal. He could see the appeal.

“Not bad. Still prefer something that won’t decrease my lifespan with each sip, but I can see why you like them,” he admitted. 

“I’ll make a PSL-lover out of you yet, just you wait,” she said with a grin, taking her coffee back from him.

“The club nutritionist will love you for sure,” he said sarcastically.

“They don’t have to know I’m smuggling you PSLs. I ask for an extra pump of the pumpkin spice syrup, but they’re normally not this sweet. Make you a deal: if you can run 1k without pain on the treadmill, I’ll treat you to one.” She held out her hand. Jan thought for a moment. Maybe this was the kind of bribery he needed to get through physical therapy. 

“Deal,” he said, shaking her hand.

“How’s it going, sunshine?” she asked as she walked into the gym of the training facility. It had been five weeks since they made their deal and Jan had been working hard in PT to reach his goal. He grunted a response from his position on the floor. She waited for him to finish his reps before she spoke again.

“Heard you’re making vast improvements,” she said. Jan nodded, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“A little birdie told me you ran even more than 1k this morning,” she continued. Jan looked at her, eyebrows raised. He then threw a glare at his physical therapist. Óscar raised his hands.

“Don’t look at me, Oblak. Wasn’t me.” 

“Marcos told me,” she explained, “he and I go way back. But great job Jan! 1.3 kilometres, that’s huge!” Jan grumbled a reply, not looking at her. 

“Oi, if you keep up this act I’ll just have to give this to someone else. Maybe Marcos will appreciate it. Or Anto. That man loves his sugary drinks,” she said, pulling a to-go cup from behind her back. 

“Ah, now it all makes sense,” Óscar said with a laugh. Jan slumped his shoulders.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you. It’s been… It’s been a week,” Jan said. 

“I know. Here,” she said gently, holding the cup out to him. Jan took it from her, wrapping his hands around it.

“Thank you,” he muttered, taking a temptative sip. Jan would be lying if he said he hadn’t been looking forward to this. After she had introduced him to the PSL as she called it, he’d gone back a couple of times to get one himself with less of the syrup. He absolutely loved them now. 

“You’re welcome. Told you I’d convert you to a PSL-lover,” she said, grinning wide. 

[shania-twain]

What’s your top 5 favorite Rollisi moments?

I apologize, as this ask was sent days ago and I'm just now getting around to it because ya know, life, and because I took my sweet time thinking over these scenes.

It's a long one, under the cut!

1. The Scene (the kiss). This kiss has everything. It’s unexpected yet long overdue. It’s tender, it’s loving. There’s swaying. There’s standing on tip toes to reach Tol and there’s bending down to reach Smol. There’s water, city lights, a romantic atmosphere. There's tears (barely) but it's an excuse to touch faces! There's cheek caressing, there's longing, lingering stares, there's hesitance in transitioning from best friends to lovers. Light banter, nervous laughter. THE UNFINISHED SPEECH. I know I'm all over the place with this but SO ARE MY FEELINGS. So much has led up to this moment and I must say, the payoff was excellent. Perfect first kiss.

2. The Fight. Dare I name the one fight they got in that caused them to be labeled “toxic” by haters? I do dare. Why, one may ask? *shakes out piece of paper* Though they are fueled by their lack of sleep and unsaid feelings for each other at the time, there’s still some bite to Amanda’s bark on her part. She’s clearly upset over him leaving her, feels abandoned. Perhaps this is a feeling she’s used to from her own family trauma, but Carisi leaving the precinct particularly hurt not only because she has strong feelings for him at this point, but because he was the only one that ever was there for her in a way no one else was. I think she came to rely on him more than she may have even realized and that all spilled out in that small fight in the squad room. And he was so taken aback, obviously thought she was happy for him but of course she’s going to tell him she is because she doesn’t want to hurt him. The fight is so natural, happens unexpectedly but develops organically. The main reason it’s my number two? Giddish and Scanavino’s best acting, imo. And I’ve only seen the actual scene about three times because it makes me semi uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable watching people argue. It was so intimate and clearly turned personal, it almost feels wrong to be watching them go at it (in a bad way. Heh). But I think that’s a testament to the acting! A+++ scene! I dream of writing a fight scene as well as this one!

3. The Hospital. Truly, this episode was packed with Rollisi moments from start to finish. I love every moment we get with them individually (hand grab, anyone? Or when he makes her LAUGH at such an emotional moment in the hospital. I could go on about this scene in detail but I’ll stop). My favorite moment of the episode is actually the last scene of them. After Rollins gets rid of her father's (ex) wife, she’s so proud of herself for doing what she feels is right and that reflects in her face when she smiles at Carisi. It’s so simple and subtle, but there’s so much love in that look. Kelli is a master at giving these loving looks and perfect expressions. It’s also a wonderful contrast to how she used to look at Carisi in the beginning - from season 16, when she thought he was a bit of a goof. Now she looks at him like he hung the got damn moon. We don't get to see Carisi's face here, but I imagine he's looking quite amused at her, maybe even charmed by her a little bit. I'm also obsessed with the way Amanda's eyelashes flutter down when he moves closer to her. Flirting over Amanda's bedridden father? The ✨romance!✨ Swoon!

4. The Elevator. This used to be number one for me, until we got the goodness in season 22. There’s something very special about this hug. It’s not even a hug, really. It’s clinging, desperate, need that one particular person and only this person kind of thing. It’s, of course, devastating that Rollins had to go through the whole thing with Bucci and possibly leaving her children without a mother, but like I said, something special about the way this led to letting the audience see who she really trusts as she let’s herself fall apart and into Carisi’s arms. Sure, she trusts her squad, but she also wants them to know she’s ok at all times. Even tells her own therapist this once or twice. She even *begins* to tell Carisi she’s fine, her usual response when asked if she’s alright, but then the second he says her name, it’s like a switch is flicked and she’s sobbing into him. DON’T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT SCANAVINO. He’s always there when she needs it. He’s patient with her, kind, takes her into him with absolutely no hesitation. This scene happens episodes after their fight in the squad room. It’s clear there is no more lingering tension between them in the elevator scene. It’s the way he says “I got you” not once but TWICE, as if he needs her to hear it. Needs to make sure she understands that he’s there not just in the moment, but he’s got her always. No matter what happens between them or with their jobs — and this comes back around in his wedding speech, as well. 🤧 But also, fave part of that scene? When he holds her tighter, leans his head against hers many times, and then closes his eyes. Cannot stand to hear her sobs, or see her in any kind of pain. Oh, my heart. My heaaaaaaart.

5. Rain check. Lots of great acting here. Is anyone surprised? No, but there’s a bit of a range of emotions in this particular scene and it’s acted so beautifully, I could write a whole paper. I’ll try and keep it brief (ha, yeah right). I don’t think Amanda would ever have a problem getting a man anytime anywhere, but I do think it was a big deal for her to ask this man out. I think maybe her intentions at the time may have been less than trying for a relationship, but she was open to trying something with him. I also think it was a big deal because it felt very planned. The outfit felt planned, the way she made him laugh, the hair toss an attempt to flirt. Though she also had this vulnerability about her that only exists with him. She’s putting herself out there, she’s saying that she’s willing to try and I think that is a big step for her, even if she was only open to a FWB situation (that totally 100% wouldn’t have worked bc *feelings*). Carisi, however, rejects her. You can see in his face that he’s so reluctant to do this but he does. Obviously, he’s had feelings for the woman for so long but is protecting himself. Almost like he knows she may think she’s ready to try something with him, but he also knew it wasn’t their time yet. Also, after he tells her he can’t, the immediate disappointment Amanda has? Heart-wrenching, tbh. She looks so upset and gets off from sitting on the edge of his desk so fast. Like. BABYYYYY.

Honorable Mentions: Threats! I’m kind of cheating here, but there’s nothing like an OTP that will kill for the other. I’m -of course- talking about Carisi’s “if Rollins gets shot over this, I’m gonna take ALL of them out.” And also Amanda’s message to Mesner: “if you go after Counselor Carisi or anyone in my family again, it will be your last day on earth. I’ll kill you myself.” Ooh, there’s something so secks see about being violently protective over your significant other. I don’t condone it irl, but let me have the ✨drama✨on tv.

Thank you for this question! I had fun going over some great scenes!

[plague-of-insomnia]

What was your first ship, and what fandom is it from?

What is the most underrated ship, in your opinion?

Thank you for the ask @apocalypticromantic666 ! From {this ask meme}

First Ship?

Honestly I’ve never been one to really get hooked on one particular piece of media. I tend to consume a lot of media to keep ahead of/manage my moods, so it’s not super common that I ever ship anyone. (Like I love SPN but never shipped anyone there despite loving some of the characters.)

However if I had to really go back and think, it would probably be either Johnny/Sarah or Johnny/Bruce from The Dead Zone TV series… damn that was ~20 years ago…. I’m old. 😫

But I was obsessed with that show and some of the characters…. The first because she was his true love he never really got over, and the second bc I’m honestly a sucker for Patient/Therapist or Patient/Nurse or Patient/PCA… basically patient falling for whomever is working closely with them on a regular basis, and vice versa….

Underrated Ship

Ooof. That’s hard bc imo almost all ships besides sebaciel are underrated in the kuro fandom, but I guess if I had to pick one it would be my fave, Sebard.

I really expected with as good as Bard’s arc has been we’d see a lot more love for him and that ship, but we really haven’t. They have a great dynamic in canon and so many possibilities for AUs, they deserve more love (and content!).

[cardiganloser]

How I see the Shadowhunters Characters:

Jace - Angsty bitch, stop being emo and see a therapist about your Daddy Issues, you're also not better than everyone else.

Clary - Overall tolerable, sometimes too impulsive for me. Stop making out with your brother. Should probably also see a therapist about Daddy Issues.

Simon - I feel like he'd lightsaber duel me if I asked. Has a chill vibe and he's cute with Izzy. Also gave Julian a D & D figure in QoAaD as a weapon.

Izzy - Bad bitch queen who can step on me. I hope she never changes. She'd be really fun on a hen night.

Alec - Points for the bow and arrow. Has put Jace in his place as well, and he's an amazing Dad. Also "I'm not your bitch". A cool guy I like him.

Magnus - A king. Would let him control my wardrobe. 10/10 I worship the dirt he walks on. Also a good Dad.

Jocelyn - Idk if she had a personality beyond Clary's annoying Mom who was asleep for the first three books. She gets points for not liking Jace.

Luke - Seems chill, owned a bookshop. I guess he's okay.

Sebastian - Fucking die and never let me see your face again you alabama asshole bitch.

Aline - Lesbian Queen. Loves her wife and she has a cool vibe. The top energy is astounding.

Helen - Loves her family and her wife. A queen who put up with exile cause the clave are pussy bitches. She's cool too.

Emma - Sarcastic Queen with a badass sword. Can also step on me.

Julian - Book husband. Loves his family and can lie better than you. I feel like he could murder me at a moments notice.

Cristina - Sweetheart. Literally no flaws, absolute perfection.

Mark - Kinda wack but he was in faerie for years so it's cool. Usually funny and I do want to see him again.

Kieran - Had HAB (Herondale Angsty Bitch) syndrome for a bit but developed flawlessly. I hope he has good things in the future.

Diana - Queen. Probably pegging Gwyn and doing it flawlessly. We stan.

Zara - Pussy bitch. I feel like she'd hate- crime me. Her getting roasted was the most satisfying thing I've ever read.

Diego - Neutral. Did Cristina dirty but he was kinda forced into it ig?

Jaime - Chill af, would get stoned with me 100%. Points for being nice to Dru and Cristina.

Dru - Excited for her in TWP, badass, we stan her.

Ty - Definetly gay for Kit. He would read a book with me. Resourceful and loyal, he passes the vibe check.

Kit - Has his own bit of HAB syndrome but he's cool overall. Should've faced the fact he was in love with Ty instead of running away to another continent but ig TWP is addressing it.

Tessa - Stereotypical book mc but also cool, her brother did her dirty, I like her name.

Jem - Flawless, an icon, love him, he can hold my drink, literally has he ever been mean to anyone without being provoked ever. Another book husband.

Will - HAB sufferer but he's kinda hot ig, it's hard to tell with a book. I feel bad for him with the whole "you can't love ppl or they die" thing, but I prefer Jem. Still a fave tho.

Jessamine - Little hit of a bitch but I feel like she deserves better. Also I feel not wanting to do training it looks tiring and I'm lazy af.

Charlotte - Queen, step on me, pegs her husband, I can't wait for her to stomp on Gideon Lightwood's face

Henry - Kinda wack, same as Mark, but he's funny so it's fine. Tries his best so I'll give him a positive review.

Sophie - Literally just here to do her job. I relate to the being in love with Jem thing she has going on.

Update I spelled Jaime's name wrong so thanks to the person who lmk

[neon-junkie]

unpopular opinion: Micah is terrible but he shows instances of having real, human emotions and completely erasing those moments to paint him as a 100% monster is a disservice for the fandom.

arrrrkajslkfjdsglk okay I'm gonna break Micah down and explain why I like him, just bc of everything going on and cause you've summed that up perfectly. Let's make one thing clear - I don't stan his actions, I never have, I never will. A lot of ppl seem to keep ignoring that lmfao. AND we all know that Micah is a fucking piece of shit. He's the devil. We know. Like the list goes on and on and on when it comes down to why Micah's garbage, but I guarantee you, there is NOBODY out there who actually *stans* him. He's a villain and damn good one. Now. Relating to what you've said, this man has just as much emotion as everybody else. I think the people who view him as an emotionless monster have either never seen ANY camp interactions with him, or they just choose to ignore them. For whatever reason. Idk. It is VERY obvious that Micah has 100% been abused by his father, probably physically as well as mentally and emotionally. He openly talks about the monster that his father is, and he KNOWS that he is just like his father. Now, Amos (his bro), on the other hand, has managed to break away from that lifestyle, straighten his ways, and settled down. Micah is so obviously jealous and even takes the time to write to his brother, probably to try and rekindle their sibling friendship or whatever you wanna call it. Amos basically goes 'NO' and slaps that idea right out of Micah's head, so I do feel bad that Micah was rejected. Amos makes it clear that he will only rekindle that if Micah changes, but he doubts Micah is able to change. So now his only 'role models' are gone - his father and Amos - Micah has nothing left to lose. He has no family, friends that encourage his chaos rather than help fix him, and no partner. He's a loose cannon, and without guidance, Micah will only continue to fire. That's why he sucks up to Dutch so much, because he STILL needs acceptance, praise, and guidance, and Dutch gives him all of that. Yeah, it's creepy to see, but that man must be dying inside if he'll literally lick Dutch's shoes just for a bit of acceptance. Micah clearly does try, like his approach to making friends is so cringe, but he's clearly never ever done this before, and he's only following the ways his father taught him. I mean, we see him still try to befriend Arthur at the start of the game, but Arthur barely looks at him and just continues to shoot him down. I know Arthur is probably following his gut, but people can't say that Micah didn't try. And we see him try it on with the women of the camp, he's clearly desperate to at least find a partner, and probably secretly jealous that his brother has that and a family. And if his brother can do it, then maybe he can too? and we do see him try. But Micah's no rapist, and it makes me cringe when ppl say that. There's a good post about it (here) that I won't go into detail, u can just read that for urself. So - Micah has nothing to lose. The camp doesn't want him there, so it's no sweat off his nose if he rats them out. Obviously, I don't agree with it and I think Micah should have just left, but then that'd be a very boring game lmfao.  There's nobody stopping him from causing chaos, and he's just going to continue to do what he was taught to do - be a fucking piece of shit. But to say he has no emotions? You sure about that? It's SO obvious that Micah still craves acceptance in any form, whether it's from a friend, a partner, his mentor, etc. He NEEDS acceptance and he seems very lost without it. And it's so clear that Micahs past trauma still controls his actions, and he clearly has no idea how to even begin accepting and moving past his trauma. That man just needs a therapist asap. Peter Blomquist said it himself, that Micah is essentially just misunderstood. (here) And well, if his own actors said that then why the hell do people continue to ignore it? Because they just want to hate Micah. They view him as an evil and racist piece of shit and just want to hate that, which everybody does cause yanno, it's bad. But they continue to ignore that Micah, like Bill, suffers from a lot of mental trauma and issues, and his past has resulted in the person that he is today. I’ll say this AGAIN, I’m not condoning his actions, far from it, I’ve said many times before that Micah is fucking garbage, we just find him interesting. Honestly, I think if the gang was accepting, or if Micah had someone to shove him in the right direction, then he would have redeemed himself and fixed his ways. Things like racism are taught, and if you can teach it, then you can unteach it, just like Bill begins to learn. Micah is a villain and that's why I like him. Again, I don't support or stan his actions, but it's just so refreshing to see someone so chaotic and loose. People saying that you shouldn't like Micah because he's racist, also choose to ignore the fact that Abigails abusive, so why do y'all still stan her when we see the way she speaks to John? or the way she physically abuses him? So abuse is fine but racism isn't? hmm.  But if we shouldn't like Micah because he's bad then why the hell do we like characters like Darth Vader or all the fucking Disney villains? Have you seen how much merch those criminals have? But a bunch of strangers on the internet having a wank over the ratman is bad? We're allowed to enjoy those but not Micah? big sigh. Peter also said that there's nothing wrong with liking Micah. You're allowed to enjoy villains, it's not a fucking crime, and it doesn't mean you support their actions, it never has done.

PLUS, this is a game full of mass murderers?!?! Arthur does a LOT that is considered questionable, such as beating a terminally ill man into his grave, but people choose to draw the line at Micah. You’re free to enjoy whatever fiction you want, but there’s no line you can draw. Well, you can draw a line for yourself, but you can’t rule what others can and cannot enjoy.

It's just SO tiring (personally) to constantly see happy endings and pure, wholesome, golden characters. I'm a sucker for bad guys and seeing them win, so when I played RDR I was like 'oh yeah, this is what I need' and that's probably why Micah's my fave lmao. It's so refreshing to see, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying it. Some people just enjoy villains, big whoop. We need to stop expecting characters to be pure cause that's just so unrealistic. Everybody has flaws of all different kinds, and that's what makes these characters human. Like, are we just choosing to ignore the fact that Arthur is the most wanted out of the gang, who has probably murdered the most people? Do we just wanna sweep his kill count under the rug and choose to hate Micah based on the one fact of him being racist? The whole fucking gang are outlaws, they're all essentially villains, even the babies like Kieran!! Micah is just as complex as every other character in this stinky game, and people who refuse to acknowledge his layers and just portray him as a monster are whack as shit. And remember, those who tell you what you can and can't enjoy are just as bad as Micah Bell himself. Especially the ones who abuse you over FICTION.

[metalbvcky]

*Shows up late to the Stucky/Marvel fandom Post-EG with Starbucks and dozens of fics that I’ve read in hand* So you guys like fanfiction?

Yeah so, because of quarantine I’ve been consuming a ton of fic. I’ve probably read over 1.5 million words in just a couple months. So why not share what I’ve been reading! Note that some of these are older (popular) fics so veteran Stucky peeps will probably know of them since I not too recently delved into the realm that is Stucky fanfic. :)  

Down below are over a dozen fics with different tropes, Canon/AU’s, and what not. Please do heed the tags on some of these. For the curious: My AO3 bookmarks. 

Also shoutout to @stuckylibrary, the mods over there are doing the lords work. 

Key:  ♥ = My fave, S = Smut, DS = Dom/Sub 

Heroes are Easy, People are Hard ♥ by Halbereth, Lorien - Words: 152,284 | CW Fix It, Slight Canon Divergence, Recovery, Slow Burn

Shuri and Wanda cleared Bucky's triggers shortly after Killmonger's attempted coup, and he and Steve went on the run. But it turns out there's more to "fixing Bucky's head" than "getting Hydra out of it." When a group of rogue scientists manage to neutralize the serum and make Steve very sick--pre-serum "this is bad" kind of sick--and they're cut off from contact with Wakanda, Bucky knows only one person with resources to help. He calls Tony and surrenders on the condition that Tony tries to help Steve.

From there, it's basically three variously messed-up guys’ trajectories from "This Is Fine", "Reasonably Speaking I Know It’s Fine", "I Will Be Fine With It" to actually being fine, guest-starring a far-better-adjusted teenage boy who climbs walls, a 1957 Ford Thunderbird, two women with a keen sense of the absurd, and Bruce, the Zen master of “it’s fine that it’s not fine.” Add in the fact that Bucky's been secretly in love with Steve since the thirties and things only get harder. Learning to be a person is the hardest thing Bucky Barnes will ever have to do--but he's got company along the way.

Reap The Whirlwind by Cristinuke - Words: 18,221 | Canon Universe, Post CW, Domestic 

Bucky finds a cat. Or rather, a cat finds him.

Your Favorite Ghost by augustbird - Words: 21,013 |  Canon Divergence, Post TWS

It's harder than Steve ever expected to bring Bucky home.

Despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) ♥ by praximeter (Zimario) - Words: 71,532 | Canon Divergence TWS, Body Modifications 

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

This city bleeds its aching heart ♥ by Renne - Words: 34,537 | Canon Universe, Fake/Pretend Relationship 

The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.

The Best Way to Wake ♥ by LeeHan - Words: 42,293 | Post TFA, Canon Divergence TWS, Recovery 

James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Wait, Captain!” “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something. “Captain, we need to keep him in stasis—“ “I said get him out!”

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail ♥ series by owlet - Words: 264,438 | Canon Divergence (sort of) 

The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

Undersell, overcommit by silentwalrus - Words: 10,222 | Canon Universe 

Steve goes so hard for Bucky that he becomes a licensed, practicing massage therapist.

Sparked Up Like a Book of Matches by Sena - Words: 26,734 | Post-TWS, Canon Universe 

Steve lives in Stark Tower and doesn't have much to do when he's not going after Hydra strongholds. He attends charity events to make Pepper happy. He goes hiking with Sam. He hangs out with Clint in Bed-Stuy and watches Dog Cops. Sometimes Tony gives him super alcohol in a sippy cup. Sometimes he sees Bucky out of the corner of his eye and wonders if it's real or if he's starting to lose his mind.

Alternately, the one with terrible jokes, a foot chase through the Lower East Side, and a tiny little robot named Shitcan.

Sugar Sweet ♥ from the Red Velvet series by ColorCoated - Words: 173,400 | Modern/Sugar Daddy AU, Age Difference, Slow Burn

"What's your name?" It wasn't even a line. He was just pretty and Bucky wanted a name to go with that face. With that strong jawline. With those deep blue eyes. A little smirk, "Steve."

Awww, Steve. He looked like a Steve. Bucky pursed his lips in a way he hoped was attractive, "You should buy me a drink."

College Student Bucky finds himself immediately attracted to Steve. He knows that Steve's a bit older than him, and that Steve himself is put off by the age difference. . . But that doesn't stop Bucky from wanting to climb him like a tree.

Steve and Bucky Go Away for the Weekend (and cook a lot) ♥ by E_Greer -  Words: 30,126 | Canon Universe, Domestic 

In which Steve coaxes Bucky out of the Tower for a birthday weekend away and sweet, fluffy domesticity ensues. Phlintasha helps keep Bucky calm, Steve has Opinions about how you set the table, stories are told, greenhouses are toured, baths are had, books are read, tears are shed, stars are gazed upon, and everyone makes Bucky feel loved. Includes Friday night dinner, Saturday morning breakfast, Saturday lunch, Saturday dinner, and Sunday brunch.

Dona Nobis Pacem by thegraytigress - Words: 65,214 | Canon Universe, Recovery 

"This job... We try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes it doesn't mean everybody, but if we can't find a way to live with that... Next time maybe nobody gets saved."

An incident on the battlefield exposes how much Steve's falling apart under the crushing weight of leading the Avengers after Sokovia. Now Bucky's adopting a new mission: save Steve before he destroys himself completely, even if it means the end of Captain America.

Give 'Em Hope ♥ by L1av - Words: 130,022 | Modern/Hospital AU, UA/Age Difference 

Dr. Steve Rogers likes to think that if his patients have hope- their chances of survival will increase. Bucky Barnes has a 20% chance of survival and a desperate yearning to experience life. Against Steve's better judgment, he develops a relationship with his patient. It's illegal. It's wrong. But it's giving Bucky the hope to keep going, so Steve's going to keep giving it, because he wants Bucky to survive. He needs him to.

You belong (to me) by hermionesmydawg - Words: 29,759 | S, DS, Canon Compliant, Post CW

"Hold on." Bucky lifted a finger and backed out of the doorway, returning a moment later with his cell phone. He snapped a photo of Steve, typed a few words, and then returned to his apple. "What the hell were you doing at a sex club last night?"

"Not having sex, if that's what you're wondering." An alert sounded from Steve's nightstand - a new Snapchat message. He rolled his eyes and unlocked his phone. Sam was always sending stupid Snapchats and frankly, Steve couldn't figure that goddamn app out and cursed whoever created that piece of shit.

The chat wasn't from Sam this time, however. It was a picture of himself, not looking guilty at all, with the caption "when your buddy catches you looking at p*rn."

Circling Back from the It’s Not Linear series by chaya - Words: 59,642 (Series Total: 136,782) | Canon Divergence

Steve looks for Bucky, Bucky finds Steve, Steve tries desperately to put Bucky back together. Bucky tries desperately to let him.

Continuing Education by 743ish, romanticalgirl - Words: 14,443 | S, Canon Universe/College, Shrunkyclunks 

Steve is invited to be a guest lecturer on the WWII unit for Bucky's college course. Bucky's more than happy to glean any extra knowledge (in more than just history) from Steve, and Steve's happy to eductate him. But then Bucky has to decide if he can handle the fact that Steve throws himself into danger, and if the sex is worth it. Or if it's not just sex anymore.

Salt & Sugar by GoldBlooded, stfustucky - Words: 19,598 | Modern/Restaurant AU

Steve Rogers is a bigshot celebrity chef in New York City, and Bucky Barnes is a classically trained pastry chef in Moscow.

When billionaire and mutual friend Natasha Romanoff calls on them to collaborate for her Memorial Day Benefit Gala, they both brace themselves to spend the week working with some jerk they're bound to hate. Except... Steve makes a burger that could bring Bucky to tears, and Bucky makes tartlets so beautiful Steve's sure they qualify as art. Maybe, just maybe, together they could make this a night to remember.

@/sgtbarnes1917 and @/cptrogers1918 by BayleyWinchester - Words: 114,203 | Canon Universe, Social Media Fic 

Bucky Barnes broke Twitter with one photo

Proprietary Information ♥ from the Additional Information series by notlucy - Words: 85,141 (Series Total: 165,871) | Modern AU, Age difference, Slow Burn

Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.

Deep in the Woods (Where My Heart Has Been Waiting) by SilverMyfanwy - Words: 15,353 | Pioneer-AU, Shrinkyclinks 

Steve Rogers gets lost in the woods in a snowstorm. Bucky Barnes takes him in. Pioneer-era AU ish with Shrinkyclinks, evil chickens and a cabin in the woods.

A Bucky Odyssey by inediblesushi, thorstbench - Words: 9,952 | Shrinkyclinks,  Cap!Bucky, Nurse!Steve  

Bucky Barnes, Captain America, has a plan to make Steve Rogers, SHIELD nurse, fall in love with him. Confiding in the Internet might not be the best idea, though. So when the bad pick up lines do not work and Steve looks determined to staying single, he decides to be more himself and less what he thinks he should be.

At first I wanted to wait to post this until I finished a few more fics from my ever growing read-later list but what the heck, now or never! I’ll probably end up making a part 2 reclist by the amount of fic I’m reading these days. 

Happy reading and stay safe out there fellow Stucky trash members!!

[sacredslaycdd]

🍐 - How many ships have you considered but rejected for your muse?

🥒 - Are you thinking about reviving old muses? Who?

🥔 - What’s the dumbest mistake you’ve made in rp?

🥜 - What’s the nuttiest thread you’ve ever had?

🍓 - What’s your sweetest rp experience so far?

Ships — I didn't make Hope with any thoughts of ships tbh. Everyone is aware I ship Jo x Hope low key and Hope definitely has a crush on Jo but it's something that's unlikely to happen for a wide variety of muse, not least bc their bond is something precious that shouldn't be ruined by romance.

Old Muses — YES. I'm so bad I'm always thinking of this but at some point I intend to revive my muse for Bronwyn, a multi-fandom oc. She was one of my first oc's and one I always find myself coming back to. I'm also likely to bring back quite a few tvd oc's since some of my fave people are returning to the fandom!

Dumbest Mistake — oh man, I'm sure I've made plenty but I can't think from the top of my head tbh.

Nuttiest thread — for a while on fb I wrote Rose Hathaway and I actually had a thread with another Rose!! It was a lot of fun. But tbh nutty threads are kinda my mo, I mean rn me and Chrissie have one where Jo is seeing an evil therapist and Jo is currently high— and uh, Hope will be joining her. The whole thread is chaos and laughter.

Sweetest role-play experience — quite a few but top of my head one of my faves from this blog is writing with and talking to @wickedlehane for quite a while we just were musing for hours and it was a lot of fun.

[do-i-love-jaal-today]

   Hullo! Aki here. It’s been awhile since I made a personal post, and it’s really only just because I wanted to ask a question...

   Would people be alright if I linked my Ko-Fi here?

   It ties into a lot of personal stuff that I’ll bring up under the cut, but the TL;DR is: I’ve been unlucky in finding a job. My writing commissions haven’t been going well, either. I can’t go back home for very important reasons. My stuff got stolen, even. Anything would be helpful. (But I also don’t want to just put it there and stress out my followers who didn’t come here for another “please help me” post. Seriously, I wouldn’t judge ya’ll for that.)

   So... I’m basically asking, “Would my followers be comfortable if I asked for help?” (I would also be more than happy to do commissions in the world of Mass Effect, for those who’d want something in return.)

   ...And yes, this is why I haven’t gotten to asks in a long, long while. I’m so sorry about that! OTL

   So... I’ll do my best to summarize!

   In November 2020, I tried to talk to my mom about some shit the stepdad was doing. (He says a lot of racist... All-phobic shit. Like, xenophobia, transphobia... It’s a lot. I’ve quickly grown to dislike him and avoid him at every opportunity, as talking to him usually ends up in him upsetting me in some way.)

   This led to trying to talk about me being nonbinary...and it quickly went from bad to worse. I broke down (in a way that’s embarrassing now, but in the moment, was raw in the heartbreak), my mom didn’t say much aside from saying “they/them doesn’t make sense as pronouns” (she’s now trying to gaslight me and saying I “remembered it wrong”; sure I do), and when stepdad got involved... Well. Worse.

   I’ve been living with my boyfriend (and his dad) since. And while the loss of my babysitting job (as well as my then-writing commissions) at the time helped me get money from unemployment... I no longer have that.

   I’ve been trying to do online therapy with little effect. (My first therapist encouraged the narrative that maybe “stepdad would’ve been more accepting” of me had I accepted him (he was- and is- incredibly religious and it made me uncomfortable....y’know, bc he used it to justify stupid shit).

   I’ve been bouncing between home (here, w/ my bf) and my dad’s apartment for months now. (I haven’t been keeping track; I’m not allowed to stay at the house. His dad doesn’t want me there alone, so I have to go elsewhere during the day.)

   My suitcase and an armful of my fave clothes got stolen from my bf’s trunk, as well as my microphone (for VA // VO work) and camcorder (it was in the suitcase). His trunk has a habit of popping open at random...

   As mentioned offhand before, I’ve been gaslit by my mom over this. ✌ Saying that being told (by my friends) that she’s a gaslighter was the “worst thing ever” to happen to her. 🙃 Sure, ma’am.

   Not long after I talked with her (and rolled with it out of habitually “keeping the peace” and she might still receive my mail on occasion), I had to be the adult with my dad... (He got upset that I told him I wanted to stay 4 days over when my bf got dragged out of state by his dad. I didn’t ask, so he got huffy with me. I ended up staying by myself in a hotel those 4 days...and then had to be like, “Oh, I see. I’m sorry I misunderstood. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t realize I said and not asked...”)

   (It feels like complaining to talk about some of these...but I’m already depressed + anxious. I’m also autistic. This whole year, combined with COVID... I’m at my wit’s end. I could sleep the day away and cry all damn day if I had the time. I’m so, so tired. Even if I “need” to be an adult right now and it’s only logical that I step up to the plate with my parents as an adult all my own... It’s so difficult.)

   ...I hope this made sense! I’m just... In need of help.

   If anyone wants to know where their money would go, it’d primarily end up:

food

apartment

+ things for the apartment

saving up for an iPad + pen (I’m debating if I want a new tablet or if I just wanna....start drawing on iPad)

getting another microphone (so I can apply for VO // VA jobs)

clothes

a comfort item (just one!! I’m waiting to buy a plush of a comfort character I can take with me to and from my dad’s house to help keep me sane)

   But...yes. Is this something people would be okay with? Or should I just...not do it? (PLEASE know it’s ok to not be comfortable w/ this! This blog has been about ya’ll from day 1 and I’m not gonna stop now, even amidst all of this.)

[fl0ating-tree]

Favorite to least favorite c!'s on the dream smp GO! (Them as character's objectively, not their actions, if that makes sense!)

anon kiss me rn this is a perfect excuse to ramble about my opinions and boy do i have opinions.... totally up for rebuttles to these or ppl trying to change my opinions on it i am a literary analysis bitch at heart

hate - technoblade, ranboo (there will be a bounty on my head for this one LOL)

dislike - niki, foolish, punz

don't love or hate - dream, phil, sam, puffy

like - sapnap (i WILL go further into detail for this one if someone wants), jack, tubbo, tommy, fundy

love - wilbur, ghostbur, eret, quackity, schlatt

hate is a strong word but it was used for the sake of the scale lol. but i REALLY dislike techno and ranboo's characters for the same reason of the fact that they feel very mary sue.

techno feels mary sue to me cause just like...nothing bad ever happens to him. i think 90% of my issue with his character would be fixed if he had died as his execution. that entire thing felt so stagnated. the day before dream is like "hey i think youre gonna get executed. heres how to not let that happen." and then the stream after that was "hey im getting executed. thats not gonna happen." like...it was just so unsatisfying because there wasn't a single moment i was concerned for techno considering i watched him get totems the day before and watched him hold one during his execution. he's stuck in the prison but from the way cc!techno was acting it feels like techno doesn't even CARE that he's there, and he has a contingency plan with the syndicate anyways. i didn't even feel bad that he got pulled out of retirement considering it was revealed he was collecting weapons of mass destruction the entire time. the only time i have EVER like his character was early pogtopia when everyone was always like "techno refuses to roleplay" AFSDKFSKG

ranboo feels like a mary sue to me because it's literally just one bad thing happening to him after another without any rhyme or reason. oh no his tears burn him and he has memory loss and he's scared he's doing bad things (did the whole "ranboo secretly has the cat disc" every get brought up again?) and he hears voices. his husband and best friend are moral enemies with his roomies but none of them seem to have an issue with that? just like.....his entire character is internal conflict and everyone loves him. not a fan.

dislike character all boil down to the same thing as well in that i feel like i would LOVE these character if they were executed better.

niki's going from wanting to protect tommy in pogtopia to the next thing i remember of her is her blaming tommy for her trauma. and her villain arc being INCREDIBLY serious but then a joke? niki as a character has a lot of potential but it all just isnt executed well imo, which is why i dislike the character.

foolish being a fun idea but the whole "totem god" thing just falls flat with me.

punz had SO much potential to do something really cool character-wise after the disc finale, but i think that boils down to cc!punz not being a big roleplayer/minecraft streamer, so it makes sense but still feels a little bit like a let down.

for the idc category it's honestly just that personally their character doesn't retain my interest. not that i think there's any major flaw with their character, just not something i care about.

dream i legit just...don't have thoughts about. cool character, but nothing stands out, and he feels a little flip-floppy sometimes. couldn't care less that he's being tortured so i feel like that's a sign that something isn't working right with that plotline.

phil and sam i think i would love their characters if they were exclusivly side characters but with the nature of streaming as the medium for the story there has to be a bit more substance to their characters but i genuinely think i would've liked them if it was just "the warden" and "wilbur's father" rather than their own individual characters. cool characters regardless, just not my personal faves.

puffy i might just not watch her enough but its similar to phil and sam where i think having her just be a therapist wouldve worked better than a fleshed out character. if more puffychu development happens tho, both her and niki will probably rise on this list.

the like characters range from "i think these characters have flaws objectively, but overall are very good!" to just....i am nostalgic for the pet wars.

sapnap i don't have a good reason for liking his character LOL it's mainly because i started watching during the height of the pet wars and i loved watching him during that. but i still just think the concept of his character is so cool and if he did more lore and specifically more stuff with dream, i can see him easily becoming a favorite character of mine.

jack, tubbo, and tommy i think are all very well fleshed out and executed characters. they have goals, flaws, relationships, and all three of the CCs are good actors i feel too. jack REALLY wow'd me over with his manifold hotel arc thing. tommy i think works well as a character because objectively he's kind of a prick but i still want him to win, and i think that's a sign of a well written character.

fundy again is similar to sapnap in that i loved him in the pet wars, but also he has the strongest relationships on the server imo. phil and wilbur stand out the most, but also with the OG l'manbergians and how his relationship with all of them are strained for no apparent reason in this awful "i've grown as a person and can't love you any more" kind of way.

i will fight tooth and nail over the fact that these characters are some of the most well-written and acted on the server genuinely. ESPECIALLY eret. i am a c!eret stan before all else.

ghostbur and eret i absolutely adore because of just how quietly tragic they are. a ghost damned to haunt his failures, and a king damned to try and repent. really REALLY well executed characters, and i pray every day that eret gets the kind of views tommy and wilbur's lore streams do because she is an amazing actor. they are both so tragically well written and executed amazingly, both are great examples of "show not tell" too. ghostbur with the amneisa and eret with their museum and abandoned castle. (only critic for eret is that i wish he stayed dethroned and george stayed king, but i think that was CC error not C error because if i remember right geroge said he wanted out of the lore. tho i think he could've stayed king and still not been involved in lore, but i digress)

wilbur and quackity are all incredibly thought out. you can see a start and a middle, and you can see that there's an ending. i feel like the biggest issue i have with tommy and tubbo is that there just doesn't seem to be an ending for their characters. with wilbur and quackity i can see an ending happening for them. they've got flaws, pros, goals, motivations, ideas. just AMAZING execution and it's cool to see how they're both so well written yet they execute their characters differently. wilbur with very casually imbedded lore that you only realize was lore and foreshadowing until it's too late, and quackity with very in-your-face produced lore streams that make you sit for an hour afterwards and wonder what happened.

schlatt is a good character because of cc!schlatt's AMAZING acting and also because he didn't try to make it some grand thing. schlatt was an alcoholic who abused his workers and was power hungry. he had his goal, and that was it, and cc!schlatt executed that perfectly.