#she’s like me when I was eleven
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I know Lezah is dead. I KNOW. But her last name is Sllew and she SLAYS. I want to give her apple juice and trail mix with extra raisins in it as a snack break from breaking convention regulations
#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#lezah sllew#hazel wells#artists on tumblr#SHE LIKES TRAIL MIX WITH EXTRA RAISINS#AND PRANKS#AND IS A FASHIONISTA#SHE PROBABLY USES A FUCKTON OF HAIR PRDUCTS TO GET IT TO LOOK LIKE THAT#BECAUSE SHE CARES MORE ABOUT HOW SHE LOOKS THAN ABOUT BEING AUTHENTIC#SHE WEARS PLATFORM HEELS TO LOOK TALLER BECAUSE LIKE HAZEL SHE WANTS TO BE SEEN AS MATURE#BUT UNLIKE HAZEL ASSOCIATES MATURITY WITH FREEDOM INSTEAD OF RESPONSIBILITY#and she’s dead I know she’s dead but I think she genuinely deserves to exist!!#also I hope Hazel keeps the butterfly wings cuz they look good on her#I want Lezah and Irep to interact and I want Irep to act like her embarrassing uncle who treats her like the little kid she is#she would lie about her age to get into a scary movie#actually no I bet she hates scary movies. I bet she really likes rom coms#and tear jerkers#I bet she hates French fries with a passion#she’s like me when I was eleven#looney mooney rants#mooneyart#looney mooney art#fanart
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“Äiti itki. Isä lähti huoneesta. Vivian istui nurkassa ja kuunteli vaiti. Kissamme Minni hyppäsi vuoteelle ja käpertyi jalkojeni päälle ja kehräsi, sillä kehräämällä parannetaan sairaita.” — Emmi Itäranta. Kuunpäivän kirjeet
“Mom cried. Dad left the room. Vivian sat in the corner and listened quietly. Our cat Minni jumped on the bed and curled up on my legs and purred, for through purring the sick are healed.” — Emmi Itäranta. The Moonday Letters. Quote tranlated by me (unofficial)
#my beloved baby Minni passed last weekend and it has been rough#I loved her so much#I've grown so much since I first held her when I was eleven years old#she was with me so long and still it came too soon#I still love her so much#it's a silly little pillow but she liked to sleep next to it#@artist-rat 's grandma bought it specifically for her#tiny cat pillow for tiny cat baby#animal death
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imagining a fic that takes place after El and the rest of the younger party graduate, she decides to go to Beauty School (cosmetology) then Steve realizes "holy shit, that's an option?" and signs up with her. They take turns using Eddie as their hair model, maybe the Sinclairs give them tips about working on Black Hair, just sweet fluff w/ El & Steve bonding <3
#my Ma got me a barbie hair styling doll head when i was like 7#bc she was a Beautician in the 80's and i thought that was like the coolest thing ever#so she taught me how to do different types of braids n stuff#eleven hopper#jane hopper#steve harrington#eleven and steve
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All the talk about siblings has got me wondering if a certain experience is a common phenomenon or not.
Did you, providing you had younger siblings with let’s say an at least 5 yr age gap between you and them, have a younger sibling that was your “baby”? (aka you wanted to hold them all the time, dress them up, get them up from naps, basically just treat them like your own kid. Not necessarily in a kid-who-is-super-nurturing-and-into-baby-dolls way, just that you were super attached.)
A reblog to reach more people would be nice, if you’d like :).
#I have a little sister who was like this for me. she was born when I was eleven.#from birth to about two we were really close—and then she decided she didn’t like me as much. it hurt then and it kinda still hurts now.#to this day she clashes quite a bit with me unfortunately—but maybe it’ll be better when she’s an adult���♀️#(For the record our parents were not pushing us or expecting us to be parent like in any way to our siblings.)#it’s funny to me because at no point was I into playing house or babydolls as a child.#nor when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up did I ever say “a mom”.#reading beanie babies playmobil and playing outside with my brother was much more my thing.
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Thinking about the convolution of Eleventh Doctor's expressions of love for River Song in Season 7B. He does not trust Clara. He is utterly (wrongly) convinced that he and Clara are playing a grand manipulative game together. “What are you, eh?! A trick? A trap?!!”
So naturally, the last thing he should do in this game is to clue his opponent in on something that could be used to hurt him. Something like River, so painfully near the end of their time together, whose data ghost he can always see, who “it would hurt too much” to acknowledge. He can't let Clara know of the loss which constantly floods his senses; (“You are always here to me. And I always listen, and I can always see you,” he professes, once Clara has vanished into his timestream).
And yet. River fills his every moment (irregardless of any sneaking out for dates with increasingly-young Rivers while Clara is asleep like he did while the Ponds slept, which would explain his absence when the TARDIS is hiding Clara's bedroom). Even though it's not strategic, he can’t help but tell Clara about her. The best defense he can manage is to phrase it as if River isn’t as important to him as she is. Not only is avoiding her first name in his grief; he's also completely avoiding pronouns; which seems extreme given that he's still mentioning her as often as: “Oh yeah, of course he has! Professor Song! Sorry, it's just I never realized you were a woman.”
Leave out the emotion — leave out the details — don't show the cracks in the armor — play the part — win the game.
“Well, there's no point now. We're about to die. JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.”
#I mean we KNOW that the doctor immediately started pouring his hearts out to Clara as soon as NotD ended <3#Clara tells the war doctor “he's always talking about the day he did it” okay so he's always talking about it starting after the prev ep#eleventh doctor#river song#clara oswald#words by seaweed#yeah I know the implication in Name of the Doctor is that eleven is two-timing them / worried abt Clara being jealous. which. eh. maybe.#but I like this better. also both things can be true if we want them to be#eleven is in SUCH a bad way in Season 7B too he needs to be held#“I thought it would hurt too much and I was right” ever think about how Clara was there for in the deepest moments of his grief?#whether his sad victorian cloud… on the Last Day… or on the day he was finally able to say Rivers name. he thought it would hurt too much#Tia made a really insightful post recently about how eleven can’t speak rivers name when she's gone and like. god. yeah.#it also made me think about. who would he even talk to River about? if he could? after years on a cloud drowning in her present nonpresence#ever think how if HoRS had happened before Hell Bent he never could've dealt with it and coulda broke the universe for River instead#Series 9 was a continuation/escelation of eleven's (and next twelve's) “he hates endings” - endings for Amy and Rory. for River. for Clara.#he hit rock bottom. and then Clara saved him#“You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become Songs.”#thank you Clara <3#one episode later:#“When the wind stands fair and the night is perfect when you least expect it but always when you need it the most- there is a Song.”#bc this is NOT to undervalue the Doctor's love for Clara he has a Duty of Care she's more Breakable than him (also than river!)#but it can it really be a coincidence? bc he is talking abt river in the second one. unless Moffat is obsessed with Song imagery? I MEAN
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Max is so emotionally constipated and sarcastic and guarded. she wants to be included and to show and be shown tenderness so badly but both are so hard for her. she's had a front row seat to relationships crashing and burning and it made her build walls before it was even her turn for relationships. she'll show up, she'll pick locks, she'll audition relentlessly for a role that does not exist, she'll fight for her spot, she'll prove herself. she'll walk away, she won't fall for it, she'll accept insults she thinks she deserves, she'll leave before she's left. she'll disguise hurt as anger and add another brick until nobody can see her anymore and then she'll cry that she's alone.
El grew up in a cage and she's cannonballing into a human life that she learned from soap operas five minutes ago. she's eager to love big and messy and full of mistakes and unashamed. she'll knock anyone on their ass who tries to take what she's decided is hers. she'll kill for her friends, she'll die for them, she'll caress their hair when she hugs them. she'll seek the acceptance of someone she's already rejected. she'll drop the most dramatic line and not bat an eye. she'll bleed and scream and cry in front of everyone, she'll tell a room full of bullies that her dad is her hero, she'll say I love you when no one's ever said it to her. she will have love in her life even if she has to drag it by the ankle. and if she's separated from it she'll escape, she'll break rules, she'll go defcon 1, she'll defy natural laws, she won't stop at death. she'll give of her own heartbeat to get it back.
#eleven#max mayfield#I love them both so much#do you think max is ever jealous of el's emotional openness#like. wow this girl hardly speaks but when she does she just says it#couldnt be me (wish it was)#all this to expand on my assertion that El could call Max darling or things equally reserved for the#clearance level of older moms and romance characters because she simply has never learned to feel any reason not to#el: our souls are entwined cara mia#max: dude you're a 14 year old girl from Indiana#el: and?#max: idk. wanna kiss
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i think the one of the biggest arguments for a story arc reason why the duffers would have el be with mike at the end of the show is because el has always expressed a desire to be a 'normal girl' with a 'normal life', and her settling down with her childhood sweetheart after everything she's been through could be superficially understood as the best conclusion of this and the best happy ending for her. the messaging that comes with this, however, is very concerning on both a feminist and storytelling level. the idea that el needs to have a boyfriend to feel normal is problematic in obvious ways, but it also undermines the foundational narrative theme that runs throughout stranger things - namely, that to be different is not a bad thing. the key characters of the show have all been outcasts in some way, have been looked down on by everyone else or have found that the person they want to be and the life they want to lead is incongruous with the standards and expectations of the world around them. these are characters that are, in one sense or another, different, in a way that has led them to find true love and acceptance in each other for their true selves, rather than in the eyes of a society that has rejected them. the fact is that el is actually different. she will never be normal in the way that she wants to be, and that should not be treated as a bad thing. her narrative arc should not be concluded by erasing those differences, but rather by having her embrace them as part of herself, as other characters have done. her breaking up with mike as a representation of her realising this and seeking to self-actualise rather than remain in a relationship in which she is trying to live out an idealised fantasy of normality would be a far more powerful narrative conclusion than if she were to stand out as an anomaly in the show's messaging and achieve conformity.
#i love el she is my favourite character in the show#people who say 'what about el' when it comes to byler make me rageful why do you think her entire character hinges on her relationship#this post has been in my drafts for like a month aha time to release it from captivity#my textpost#stranger things#st#el hopper#eleven hopper#eleven stranger things#stranger things eleven#jane hopper#byler#byler tumblr
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Bruce: now, for the last part of this meeting
Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Damian, Cass, and Duke: ?
Bruce: -turns around to bring up a power point presentation, the title card of which just reads 'Please Be Normal About Tim'-
Bruce: -turns back around-
Bruce: ...Tim why are you the only one still here
Tim: I just like power point presentations
#Jason keeps beating up Tim and then chasing him around trying to get him to join him#including AFTER Tim kicked him directly in the balls#he had a whole murder board about Tim when he was stalking him#Damian also keeps trying to beat up/kill Tim and prove he is the 'superior Robin'#Dick is generally pretty chill but he and Tim have a history of getting into shenanigans together#also Dick has a tendency to go a bit feral when Tim is involved and hurt#Stephanie once said Tim had a 'bad case of the Stephs' and while I love that for her absolutely not#Cass neither wants to kill Tim nor be romantically entangled with him#which is good!#but like Dick she also goes along with his plans without as many follow up questions as she should probably have#and by 'as many' I mean 'any'#she pretended to stab him through the chest to throw off a bunch of assassins#and I'm pretty sure she didn't question a single second of it#Tim just turned to her like 'I have a fake sword and I need you to pretend to kill me with it'#Cass just gave a thumbs up with no follow-up questions#Duke#my beloved#I know he and Tim don't interact much in canon#but in my heart I feel he would not be normal about Tim either#like regular ass Tim Drake figuring out Batman's secret identity and deciding to just become Robin because Gotham and Batman need it?#attaching rockets to a skateboard to get around?#coming up with insane and convoluted plans and consistencies that don't make sense to anyone else?#plans and contingencies that WORK?#Duke would see Tim as aspirational and go along with whatever insane bullshit nonsense he comes up with just to see what happens#he would 100% be down for whatever Tim has planned and would absolutely feed into it#he just wants to crank that little chaos gremlin up to eleven and watch him go#Bruce is desperate to keep them from interacting in any capacity for longer than thirty seconds at a time because HE KNOWS#HE KNOWS what will happen if they ever team up#it's why he put them on separate shifts#for the record Bruce ALSO had to sit through this presentation
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*whispers* I don't like the new TARDIS interior, all that white is too cold.
#I mean she's Very Big On The Inside which is always good and the ramps will be fun but she needs some mood lighting to break up the white#Doctor Who#TARDIS#they redecorated. I don't like it.#Doctor Who spoilers#DW Spoilers#(look Idk when my non-UK mutuals will be watching so I'm trying to be careful with what I say)#(my favourite interiors were Eight Eleven and Twelve's and I hate minimalism so this was never gonna work for me)
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it’s really sad that i/my family don’t know much about our family history due to lost records/preserved oral histories lost due to deaths/etc. and even sadder that my mom thinks it’s unimportant/uninteresting because we probably spent generations in poverty + not amounting to much. it’s important to me!! it matters to me!!! it was and will be important to someone else!!!!
anyways my current project before i go back to school/something i wanna keep working on in the upcoming year is digitizing records and interviewing family members. unfortunately, the evils…… (writing) (committing to things)
#SIGHS.#any school project that involves making family trees are so evil to me specifically.#person with ginormous family with members who refuse to stop procreating.#every day i wake up jealous of my partner who has photos of his grandparents when they were young :(( mine couldn’t even afford a camera#or his huge box of records in his home dating back to the 1600s……so much of my family history is lost because it was only recorded orally#and my mom being the youngest of eleven kids means thst a lot of knowledge died with her older siblings and mom….. augh#was talking with her about one of my aunts going back to the ph and being like ‘maybe she can ask people stuff!’ and my mom going#‘but all the old people are dead’ rip
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i respect bisexuality but it would be so much better for my mental health & instagram experience if my old best friend ive seen five times in as many years was still dating that girl and not some ugly guy . to be honest
#wizardspeak#idk it's august & i'm lonely & she understood me like nobody else & probably never will again now & if we became close again i could fall i#love w her but it's whatever it's fine . i don't care i hope she's happy#i miss when it didn't feel surprising that ppl liked me i want to be eleven and pretending i didn't worship her ljke the sun!!!! whatever!!
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How much time has actually passed since the initial kidnapping? I know its been over a year, maybe a year and a few months? Draxum has all their hatch dates, and last I remember Galois is 15, but Leo is 16 (since they only guessed their hatch dates) and Draxum even tells him so in the latest chapter, it feels…idk it feels like something, but I cant pinpoint it exactly. Something soft with a hint of ridicule, maybe? Or maybe I missed Galois‘ second birthday during all the managing of war and stuff
Donnie's kidnapping took place March 13th, 2019. Currently, we're somewhere in early-mid July of 2020. Leo was going to mention in one of his sections last chapter that Independence Day had passed without fanfare and how weird that felt, to not have fireworks in New York. But then I forgot, because you know how I am. Leo's sixteenth birthday has passed; Gale's has not. But neither of those dates are their actual birthday.
Donnie and Leo hatched on the same day. Considering when spiny softshells hatch this with probably in fall of 2004, (Leo was hatched by a breeder so he didn't necessarily need to hatch when wild sliders usually do) so they are technically still fifteen! But Draxum also doesn't go by their real hatchdate for Gale's birthdate-December would be way too late for a spiny softshell to hatch, and in his fiction Gale never really hatched at all. He got thrown together in a petri dish like an IVF baby. So he didn't need to be 'born' in a certain season; he was entirely on Science Time.
I went back and forth on whether Draxum should acknowledge him as fifteen or sixteen, but ultimately I decided it would be more impactful for him to acknowledge Leo's own agency over the matter and Splinter's judgement over their approximate ages. And anyway, it wasn't like it really mattered. Galois's own birthdate is a month or three after his 'real' one. Not to mention time was sort of of the essence-he didn't have time to argue with Leo over whether he was fifteen or sixteen.
#doth asks#donatello#leonardo#baron draxum#i was checking back on some earlier doth chapters and noticed i referred to april as being sixteen#which is incorrect i view her birthday in the show as her seventeenth#so she's seventeen during the entirety of doth and turned eighteen during book 2#there's actually a pretty big age gap between april and the boys when you think about it#i mean not really but considering their ages those gaps would be felt#and gale and cass are like four years apart that's a terrible age gap for siblings#(i say with a sister four years and eleven days younger than me)#to be fair donnie/gale is old for his age
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i think twelve and clara are starting to make sense to me but i don't think it's what moffat intended or how the ppl that like them see their dynamic
#they are so obsessed with each other but not as people but the ideas of each other.#twelve's whole character to me feels like the grieving immortal that no longer has anything as a buffer#between him and the weight of the universe. so he sees clara as this culmination of every one of the companions he's lost before#and that adds up. what w/ eleven meeting versions of clara and seeing them die. that adds up w/ clara's presence in heaven sent#faceless and just telling him what to do. she is the companion he cannot fail this time (but he also#cannot reconcile how one of the reasons he keeps someone like her around is /because/ she's mortal)#meanwhile clara bc of her time in the tardis and how she was treated by eleven. thinks herself to be more than she is#she thinks she's owed so much in her life and she thinks she can handle all of it. like ten in waters of mars#so she views twelve and the life in the tardis as an affirmation of what's so extraordinary about her#which is also how she sees danny. i think her character really sings if this is the main idea w/ her relationships with others#bc it's how the doctor acted around her when he first met her. not seeing her as a person but as an idea a mystery a means to an end#so of course as someone who becomes more and more like the doctor as time goes on it makes so much sense that this would be so central#just like how w martha's doctorfication arc it was about self-sacrifice and violence and death. bc that's how ten acted around her#twelve and clara still have the standard traits of doctor and companion of course. the doctor saves the companion when they're in trouble.#the companion remembers to care when the doctor forgets. but they're going through familiar motions as they#start to lose more and more of themselves by being around each other. bc they don't really see the other person#and that's why their dynamic is so obsessive and toxic#dr who#12 era#now this reading has made both characters make a lot of sense to me but also this has tanked my enjoyment of hell bent#in how clara's arc resolves. i won't elaborate more on that until i actually get to it on the rewatch though
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awesome. ive had Nightmares two nights in a row now
#my whole family was murdered except for my brother who managed to escape#i was dead. i was very much shot in the face and killed#i also nesrly escaped but one of the guys saw me and asked if i wanted it to be painless.#i said 'just do it from here please. please dont make me come to you.'#and then pov switched to following my brother.and i eventually realized it was me following him#i just remember thinking i have to watch over him. i have to make sure he stays alive. i have to make sure he doesnt kill himself.#then i remember my body being.. semi autopsied ? people after the murder were looking over my body. at my teeth and gums. my hands.#i was concious as this was happening. i was rhinking how i cant just 'wake up' right now#but i eventually did when they went to look at the rest of my family's bodies. and i guess i left to find my brother for Real#i met a kid at a seven eleven who was talking about raggedy ann dolls to me. i like. wasnt all bloody and Bullet Holed anymore#but i remember thinking'why isnt she scared of all the blood on me'#i kinda woke up after that#idk. its early 1 am now. that sucked. goodnight for real.#first one was just my dad being a dickhead and disrespecting 1 my time and 2 my physical boundaries Sitting too close to me and guilting me#over ‘making him feel bad’ over both those things#dream journal
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hhey guys. i think i mayy be experiencing a hyperfixation 4 the first time. not sure. sorry
#asclexeposting#its doctor who. its all i want to think about its all i want to watch or talk about its.#i like this show a Lot. explodes. most of the episodes suck but i Really like this show#i dont think ive ever had a hyperfixation that i could detect. ik when i was young i would watch disney frozen like 3 times everyday#i watched that movie so much i wore the dv out. also disney/pixar brave. those two movies. i watched them a lot when i was young#anydrwho. im only on s7 almost s8 but. dude. its getting worse. i was normal about it until i got to smith’s era#and now its like woah. its one of the things that makes me feel good in my brain as of late. next to like. music. and being right and silly#yeah. like i need to finish nuwho and then watch classic who and learn a bunch of fun facts about it that no one cares abt.#i need to. bro. ugh. ragh.#rn im on late s7. its ok. i dont really Love clara bc of moffat’s weird writing i dont like how shes written idk how to explain it.#but she has potential i think. idk she doesnt go well with eleven but i think she goes well with twelve? idk. i have like 4 more episodes#until capaldi. he seems cool 👍#yeah. ugh. i knew from when i started watching it in july that it was joeover. i think i recognized that i would Really like the show br#and definitely i Really like the show. rip to my mom and my friends who have to hear about it. i Love talking about this show. ragh
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i love nonverbal eleven so much like yessss girl say nothing. it's always like "what did you see?" "who's going to die?" "what did you do?" my mysterious autistic angel. my beautiful cryptic princess tell them NOTHING
#i hc eleven as autistic w ptsd and like inevitable neurodivergency just from being raised in a lab#but definitely like the emotional regulation stuff she presents is more than j ptsd to me. shes me fr she gets it#i just love it so much when she just doesnt respond to people it's so based#i love badass autistic characters#we never get any of those#i hate bylers who dont like eleven cos they see her as the in between of mike and will#like fuck off go be a misogynist somewhere else#im queerplatonic mileven stan all the WAY bruh i cant wait for them to break up and just be besties#and be gay together#eleven#eleven stranger things#jane hopper
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