#she’s going to do that…51 more times over the next 5 months HOW

[priscillasmirrorball]

gobbling up these eras tour tiktok lives hopping from stream to stream getting all the different angels of this arizona swift city stadium

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S pt 5

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to help him

notes - NOT PROOF READ, lowercase intention smut near the end, aftercare cus thats what matt specializes in, cuddles

a/n - uhm idk if yalls could tell, or if u knew but i’m a virgin and have never kissed anyone so 🫣

leave some suggestions for chris or matt fics for me to write pls as well :3

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present day a few days after their second study session

y/n pov

matt s 🐼

hey message me when ur leaving ur house. 8:46

btw we r ordering food to the house cus i dont wanna get gas. 8:47

text me what u want from CFA. 8:47

you

what in the flying fuck is CFA? 8:49

matt s 🐼

uhm hello? kid, how do u not know what CFA is???? 8:49

you

abbreviations like this is what's wrong with our generation… 8:50

matt s 🐼

kay ur so weird omfg. 5:50

CFA clearly means chick-fil-a smartass 🙄. 8:51

you

oh well then 😋. nuggets and waffle fries please 🛐🛐. 8:52

and sunjoy btww. 8:52

matt s 🐼

ew u like sunjoy? 8:53

you

u like rootbear don’t talk to me ✋. 8:52

and let me in pls im already outside :). 8:52

read at 8:52

i sling my bag over my shoulder and leave my car, waiting outside the large house with thrilling anticipation as i wait for matt to open the door. I see the fluff of his brown locks and a sweater similar to the one i’ve seen him wear before at school. i dont know why i get giddy when i see him, i dont know how we went to only speaking when madi was around too greeting each other whenever we see each other in the halls or cafe or even in our shared classes.

matt and his brothers were some of my closest friends now, after madi introduced me to them at a party, both of us got insanely drunk and made me call off crazy drinking ever since. all i remember from that night was the way matt took care of me while i was in a very vulnerable state and didn’t take advantage of me. i haven’t told anyone but madi about what happened to me when i was younger, and i’m glad she’s still taken her promise to heart, the only thing that telling her about my past shit did was make her and i closer.

i see matt in full view after he opens the door, “hey!” i say with a cheery expression despite how late it was for me.

“heyyy, thanks for coming by the way, even though you had a shift earlier.” he says sheepishly, before i left for work he messaged me begging to have another study session because he had more questions about the essay part of the exam. “oh hey lemme put your stuff in my room, just chill on the couch before the food gets here.” i pass him my backpack and laptop as he begins to walk down a hallway to make it to his room.

i move through the small entryway and become more apparent in his brothers view, “heyy y/n” nick says moving up to me for a hug, i take in his embrace.

“hi nick!!” i say excitedly. other than matt, ive hung out with nick a lot too, madi always has him over at her apartment, and even the three of us have made it a plan to meet up at our favourite bakery and talk for however long we want too a couple times a week. out of the little over a month i’ve know the triplets, nick has made a huge impact on me, and i felt safe around him, as well as chris and matt.

he lets go of me while i walk over to a slumped over chris on the couch, when he realised i was here he sits up on the edge of the couch. “sup chris,” i dap him up doing a little bro half hug with him.

“always nice to see you y/n,” he says as our arms unfold from the middle of us. i take a seat next to him with a comfortable amount of distance between us. matt returns not too long after i greet everyone. He sits down between chris and i and nick returns from the kitchen with a pepsi, root beer, bottled water and a lemonade, passing out everyone's drink knowing what each of us would ask for. matt and i give nick a thank you as he nods his head after.

nick stationed himself on the elongated part of the couch settling in with his fluffy blanket, he puts on a stranger thing episode and we all sit watching the tv. it only takes another five minutes of the episode for the doorbell to ring through the house. nick gets up immediately scurrying to the door with his fluffy blanket wrapped around him as he talks to the delivery man, thanking him and making small steps to see the rest of us. he comes back with two large bags of food planting them on the coffee table in front of all of us, before grabbing a tray of drinks after going back to the entrance.

“thank you for paying matty,” chris says, rubbing up again his brother with his lips pursed and now shoulder to shoulder with his older brother. i giggle at the sight, copying chris.

“mmmmh thanks mattyyyy” i say resting my head on the peak of his shoulder, pursing my lips as well and copying chris’ weird voice.

“you’re a fucking weirdo chris,” matt says in a disgusted voice flicking the other head that was very close to his face. “and you're welcome y/n.”

i laugh at chris’ overly dramatic reaction to what matt did to him. still giggling a bit at the sight of matt completely ignoring his brothers reaction, I say “just tell me how much i own you.”

“eh, don’t worry about it, it’s on me, plus save up for that new laptop you were talking about. i know how much you want it,” i blush slightly.

“aww thank you then,” i wrap my arms around him and squeeze him, he hands me the food that i asked for and retract back onto the couch.

“by the way, what time are we planning to stay up till? i told madi that i’ll tell her when i was heading home.” i saw looking at matt.

“well its kinda late so if you wanna stay in the guest room, im fine with that.” matt says, moving his head towards me, then breaking eye contact with the tv screen.

“im ay okay with that if you wanna stay over! plus you know your way around the house,” nick says giving his approval to matts idea of staying over.

“mhm im chill with it,” chris simply says.

“uhh yeah then, i'm down, thanks!”

we eat then say goodnight to nick and chris before we go to matt's room for some studying.

i lay down onto his bed as he walks over to his bathroom to change into some comfier clothes. while hes in there i start to think about our first study session when i found out matt had a crush on me. i thought it was very cute, but it made matt awkward on our last study night. i’m glad that he's eased up now, i just acted like i didn’t know anything and didn’t want to push on how he was feeling because I knew it would make his anxiety worse.

i come back to my senses seeing matt reappear from the bathroom door. we stayed on track for studying for an hour and a half before we eventually put on brooklyn 99 on in the background and talked.

“so, the retake is in a couple days, you think you’re ready?” i was hopeful he would be good by then because tonight felt very productive. I quizzed him on a couple of important ideas while he was playing with a baseball, throwing it up and down in the air. i learnt that he understands stuff better when he is doing something with his hands, it keeps him focused.

“hm, i’m not too sure, maybe another study sesh the day after tomorrow so by friday i’ll have all the stuff we went over fresh in my mind.” the baseball still gets thrown up and falls down in front of his face, with his hand waiting to catch it before it smacks him right on his nose. “thanks again for this,” i hear him catch it one more time before he moves his hand away from his face and looks at me just to the right of him. i'm hovering over him slightly, his eyes glow the brightest in the slight illumination from the lamp we always use when we study.

“yeah of course matt, you're my friend anyways.” our faces mirror each other, his eyes roam my faces while his hand holds the side of my face.

i toss my hair to the side of my head to lean down to kiss matt, he immediately returns the kiss enveloping my bottom lip with his. i moan into his mouth feeling him push me down and dominate me. one of his hands rests on my hip keeping me down as i pull him down with my legs letting him top me. most of his body is pressed down to mine, i lift my hips to give myself some kind of sensation i desperately crave for.

“fuck, i’m sorry are you okay with this?” matt says when he disconnects us.

i cup his chin bringing him a little closer, “i really fucking like you matt, please don’t stop.”

a smirk grows onto his face, “i really fucking like you too, you’re lucky i do.” he becomes more unserious pecking little kisses amoungst my face making a very loud “mwah” sound with each of he presses into my skin.

“matttt” i say through my sour looking face while he shows his affection.

“okay, okay, i’m done. but uh, how about we kiss again, didn’t get a good feel of it the first time.” he says with a knowing smirk on his face. i use my hand to weave through his brunette hair pulling him towards me again, we share a more passionate kiss, with knowing and love rather than lust.

it doesn’t take us long till things got more serious, his lips attach to my neck instantly sucking multiple hickeys into visible spots on my neck, moving down to my collar bone and eventually to the full and plump part of my boob. this is where my dream stopped last week, ive been trying to ignore it for the longest time but being in the moment now after thinking about it in my head makes it feel even more surreal.

his hand sneaks to the bottom of my fresh love shirt that i took from matt’s drawers when i found out i was sleeping here his fingers feel the hem of it. “is it alright if i take your shirt off?” he says with a quiet voice, almost afraid of what i’ll say.

i quickly nod in reply but that doesn’t seem good enough for him.

“words smart ass, i need words.” he says with a little bit of a condescending tone to his love tainted words.

“yes matt, you can take my shirt off too.” i say with a small giggle following after it.

he lifts the fabric to uncover the same white lace bra i was wearing while i slept over at his house by accident. “mh, i’ve been dreaming about this for a while ever since i saw you in it that morning,” he kisses the lace that travels to the small connecting piece of fabric between the two cups of my bra.

“and i know you heard what chris said to me that morning, yet you still acted like nothing was wrong.” he moves his hand to my upper back placing his hand onto my bra strap, “hey, can i take this off?”

“mhm,” my lips sealed trying to conceal my response to the amazing feeling of his hands on my body, he undoes the clip on my back with skill and purpose. the touch of his fingertips grant goosebumps to my skin in a very arousing manner.

he pulls the dainty clothing article off my arms and throws it to the floor benign absolutely amazed by my tits, they weren’t much but it seemed like matt was under a spell, he latched his lips just above my nipple to give me more hickeys, he sucks and soothes repeating this multiple times before he eventually dips down to my nipple, i feel the rush of arousal arching slightly off the bed.

i moan in response to the new sensation, i’m not exactly a virgin, but i haven’t done anything like this in a while, let alone at all for god sake. he massages the other boob, playing with the nipple with his hand the opposite of the one his mouth is very focused on.

he finally comes up for air after a little bit teasing, my thighs rub together and sits up to rip his shirt off to match my level of revealing skin, off goes his sweats as well leaving him in just his boxers, “matt, oh my god” i'm out of breath and very needy.

he continues a trail of kisses down to my clothes pussy, he looks up at me while holding the stretchy waistband of my pants, i give him a vigorous nod knowing what he was asking for.

he slides them completely off leaving me in just my underwear. he plants another sweet kids over my clothed heat which milks another desperate moan from me. “matt wait-“ he immediately comes up from my bottom half and lays beside me listening to me.

“hey we don’t have too if you don’t want too, i’m down if you just wanna go to bed in the other room, or even if you just wanna stay here and cuddle for the rest of the night.” he says before i can go ahead with what i was thinking.

“no, no i really want too it’s just, i haven’t really… done this before.” i tell him, he seems almost fully unaffected by my words.

“that’s fine, i’m here to make you feel good,” he places his hand nearing my core again, he rubs my panties over my clit moving down to feel the very apparent wet spot. “wow i’ve barely touched you and your so worked up,” his voice was sultry with a hint of a condescending tone.

“m-matt please” i struggle to say feeling the pressure he's putting down onto my throbbing clit.

“i’m gonna take these off now, okay?” he says with his fingers wrapped around the thin string of my thong that’s barely covers anything.

he slips them off admiring the sight in front of him, i almost get self conscious wanting to cover myself up with his blankets. his head dips and his hands pant onto my hips and one on my inner thigh. his tongue makes very sudden contact with my clit, he sucks and swirls his tongue around it, feeling the very heavy pressure i arch my back slighting leaning forward into his face.

his finger creeps and teases my hole before he fully plunged it into me. i heavy moan escapes my lips, “quiet now princess, can’t let nick or chris hear you.”

he continues his movements stimulating both my clit and hole at the same time, “more, please” i say with a pleading tone. he removes his finger from inside of me and replaces it with his tongue and mouth. he absolutely devoured my pussy giving me as much pleasure as he could, his mouth moving back to my clip and he slid his finger back into me moving it at a moderate pace.

i don’t try very hard to conceal my very loud moans, as soon as matt enters a second finger into my dripping cunt, i release with a pornographic moan, squeezing his head between my legs. “holy shit matt,” he licks up all of my hot cum and comes back up to kiss me.

“mmh you did so well for me, you ready for me now?” i say a needy yes while he goes back to sit back on the his headboard. he removes his boxers with such haste letting his cock spring out with a bead of pre-cum leaking out. “i wanna watch you ride me, you control the pace and how deep you wanna go.” he whispers into my ear.

he lifts me on top of him, kissing him passionately while i grind down onto his twitching cock. he lets out a guttered groan “okay, let’s do this cause i could bust just from looking at you.”

he lines himself up and holds my hips while i sink down onto him. his so thick and long, i feel him in ever existing crevasse in my cunt. “fuck yes” i say letting out a heavy breath.

“holy shit you’re so tight-“ he says between his monas and hard breathes. i begin to move myself up and down slowly, whatever pain that came at first quickly moved to pleasure as i speed up my movements.

my tits bounce every time i move up or down, my movements are set at a constant pace, “matt, i think- i think i’m gonna cum.” i say, feeling his dick twitch in my pussy again.

“come for me baby, give it to me,” he says, taking me by my love handles and moving me up and down a little faster. i came hearing his words letting out a couple of breathy moans, he follows soon after me. i feel his thick long ropes of cum fill me up and come back down dripping onto his cock.

matt does a couple of slower pumps in and out of me to ride both of us through our highs. he picks me up as if i weigh nothing and puts me down beside him laying down onto the bed.

he goes into the bathroom to retrieve a small cloth and comes back to wipe me down. he does a couple of strips to pick up as much extra cum he could. i feel him hit my clit and i whimper loudly, “oh god, i’m sorry, i know your still sensitive.” once he’s finished he goes into the bathroom and cleans himself up.

fishing his boxers from the ground he slides them on and grabs my underwear and a large t-shirt from his closet. he hops onto the bed putting on my underwear and pulling me up to put on the shirt.

“mh thank you,” i say tired and groggy.

he plants a kiss onto my forehead “anything for you smart ass.”

he comes under the covers and wraps his arms around me, intertwining our legs. we sleep peacefully until the morning

taglist - @westwiing @comet235

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious. 89 brb x oc

a/n: I was going to post this ahead but.....I had an anxious day, lol, and this was the only thing that helped me.

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, are you ready for some tears?

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84

85/86/87/88

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3a @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes

-

The months were going by fast, so fast that Beatrice couldn’t even believe it. It was the fifth month already and he was going to come back the very next!! She was so happy, yes there was still a long time for him to return but it’d go by fast, she was sure of it! 

These past months were complicated, at first, but she managed it. She admitted some things to herself too, things she didn’t want to admit before but now couldn’t deny. It was a big step that she was more than ready to take honestly and hopefully so was he. 

They’ve been talking whenever they could, which wasn’t that often but he always replied to her messages when she sent them - especially the ones  with the pictures she took when Michael was gone and she had the house all to herself. But since it was June, he promised her he’d try and video chat on his birthday and Beatrice had something planned. 

It was silly but she bought him a cake, he wouldn’t be able to eat it, obviously, but it’s the gesture that matters. She also decorated the kitchen with a Happy Birthday sign ,bought Jolene a little birthday hat - that the pittie wasn’t sure if she liked, considering she stood still when Beatrice put it on her head - and had some balloons floating around the kitchen just to add to the atmosphere.

Beatrice knew he’d be online a couple hours before she leaves for the Hard Deck and that he probably wouldn’t be able to talk for too long but it’d be more than fine. She could do that. 

She sat in front of the laptop with her hands on her lap, smiling while waiting for him to show up. Oh she was so excited, she wished he was there to celebrate it with her and their friends, but since he wasn’t she wanted to make it as special as she could. Her leg was bouncing with nerves, waiting for the connection to finally happen, biting her lower lip at the loading screen, shining and dimming the light of her laptop screen.

Beatrice waits a little while longer, getting up to grab some water - it was June already so summer came in full blast- and fixing the spaghetti strap on her top as it rolled down her shoulder to her arm, running her fingers through the strands of hair that framed her face and fell from her high bun, a soft happy gasp breaking past her lips when she saw the connection established.

The transmission was a lot smoother from other times they chatted, his face appeared in high definition almost, “Hi!” she smiles, noticing he was no longer at the little room he used to stay in when they chatted, “Oh, did you change rooms?”

Rooster back over his shoulder then to her, “Yeah, the old room was getting too crowded so we moved here.” he smirks “Hi,gorgeous. How are you today?”

“I’m really okay, kinda stuffy because it hasn’t rained in…I think two weeks so everything is sticky and annoying.” she says, “But what about you? How are you doing?”

“I’m doing fine,I’m going to have a meeting in a couple hours.”

“Oh?”

“It’s nothing serious, gorgeous, just something I gotta do.” he replies with a grin, folding his arms over the table, “You look really good though.”

Beatrice laughs softly, looking down at her outfit of spaghetti strap top and soft cotton shorts with her cheeks reddening, “Thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself.” she grins,”Oh! Hold on– Jojo, come here!” she disappears from his view for a second, he hears her grunt offscreen and then return with Jolene in her arms, the pittie’s tail wagging when she sees Bradley’s face.

The pilot notices the birthday hat on her head and laughs, leaning closer to have a better look. Jolene whined happily, her whole body shaking the longer she looked at him, “You gave her a birthday hat. Oh my God, that’s adorable.”

“Isn’t it? I thought it’d be cool, but there’s more!” she leaned out of frame again to show the balloons and the Happy Birthday sign hanging above the cabinets. His smile softened, just like his gaze, his heart fluttering inside his chest the more he looked, “I know you can’t celebrate it here, so I just thought you’d like to see it. I even got you a cake!”

“A cake? Bea, you didn’t have to.”

“I know,I just…thought it’d be nice.” she replies after setting Jolene on the floor, “And I told you we’d celebrate in a different way, so.” she ends her sentence with a shrug, pulling one of her knees up so she could prop her chin on it, holding the leg in that position by crossing her arms in front of it, “How are you holding up?.”

Bradley drops his head with a gentle laugh, “I’m going through it. Can’t wait to get back home.” Home. With her. “But the mission is going well, everything is running smoothly so I can’t really complain.”

“Of course, that’s the most important thing.” Beatrice hears her phone buzzing on the corner of the table but doesn’t reach for it, she just turns it face down. Normally she wouldn’t mind it, but she missed Brad way too much and she knew if it was really important they’d call again. Right now her focus was on Rooster, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, gorgeous.” he replies softly, his smile widening, “We need to make up for the lost time when I come back.”

Beatrice chuckles, still holding her chin up with her knee, her cheeks turning a light red, “I’m sure we can arrange something, lieutenant.” Bradley’s eyes hardened just enough for her to know it was effective, which always was to be honest, “We’ll have to do a lot of things when you get back.”

His eyes dropped from her face to her cleavage, that appeared fuller because of her knee touching it, licking his lips before she spoke “Kinda wish it was right now, to be honest with you.”

“It’s just a few more days, Brad.” she says, “You’ll be here before you know it.”

There’s a pause on his side and she thinks it’s the connection’s fault, but he smirks and then nods, tilting his head to the side “True.”

Her buzzes again and she frowns, “Sorry Roos,” she picks it up and holds it for him to see, “I need to see who it is.” she wasn’t surprised it was Shells, but she was surprised that they had to clean the bar later that night because the raccoons attacked again and just dragged so much stuff to the beach they’d have to clean everything before tomorrow. Beatrice sighs,typing back a response and putting the phone aside.

“Something wrong, gorgeous?”

“No, just gotta go to the bar later tonight to help clean, the raccoons are going insane. They stopped for a while but every now and again they show up and make a mess…the first time they go to the beach though.”

“Maybe they want to catch some waves.” he jokes and she couldn’t help the soft chortle that makes its way out of her lips. She sees him looking somewhere over his own screen, his brows turning in a frown “Damn, baby,I gotta go.”

Beatrice tries to not be disappointed, putting on a happy face for him, “Okay. I’ll talk to you before you come back?”

“You know it, gorgeous.” he says, winking at her and pushing himself to his feet, but not before he waves to her, “Bye baby,I love you.”

“I love you too.” and the screen goes black. Beatrice stays on the chair for a little while longer, sighing quietly and then looking back at Jolene - whose birthday hat was now under her chin giving her a shiny pink pointy beard. She gently removes the hat from her dog, kissing the top of her head and thanking the pitbull for doing that with her. 

Now that she was once again surrounded by silence, Beatrice just watched her reflection on the dark screen and pouted her lower lip, ‘...he’ll be back soon,I can wait for him.” she tells herself, pushing herself up to her feet so she could put the empty glass on the sink. Seemed crazy but they were going to have their one year anniversary next month.

One whole year, it’s crazy.

She hopes he’ll be here to celebrate it though. She’d like it a whole lot.

-

When she gets to the Hard Deck, the parking lot is empty saved up by Shells’ car, which was normal since it was a Monday and the bar didn’t open on Mondays. What was strange was how some of the lights were off, Beatrice wondered if the raccoons actually did something with the electricity and it was worse than she thought.

Bea didn’t even manage to open the door before Shells’ yanks it open, “Finally!Oh my God, Bea.” the brunette doesn’t even say hello, blinking in surprise as her friend pushes her inside. “Come on in, come on in. Oh it’s a mess!”

Beatrice’s green eyes move all around the bar, furrowing her brows because…it doesn’t seem that messy in there, “Penny and I already cleaned a good chunk, but oof, the beach? Yeah, it needs three people, here gimme your bag.” she feels the weight leave her shoulder before she could stop it, looking back at Shells’ blonde head disappearing into the employee’s room.

Penny steps back from the beach and once she meets Beatrice’s eyes she sighs in relief, “Oh, Bea, thank God.”

“Is it that bad?”

“It goes down all the way where the guys play football.” she explains, propping her hands on her hips and shaking her head, “Those raccoons,I swear, I need to deal with them soon.” she then looks back to where Shells was, “Tell you what, why don’t you go ahead? We left everything there and we’ll just close the bar’s doors so no one enters while we are away.”

Beatrice nods quickly, “Of course Penny!” she says, glad she wore a clean pair of sneakers that night, pulling her hair up in a ponytail and fixing her Metallica shirt over her shorts, “Will you guys take long?”

“No, no,I just need to make sure we don't forget anything.” Penny offers Beatrice a small smile and then moves her hand for her to go ahead before disappearing back into the employee’s room. Beatrice could be wrong, but she could swear she heard more than the two in there…maybe she was imagining things.

She walks out of the bar, past the seating area and looks up at the sky that was now completely dark blue tinkling with stars, not a single cloud to cover them with the full moon round and illuminating the shore, giving it a light blue color. Beatrice wonders what she’s going to find, honestly it’s a bit hard to imagine the raccoons taking the trash so far away, but something would have scared them.

A bear, maybe? There are bears roaming around San Diego but they’ve never even approached this area before. 

Beatrice was so into her head trying to think of reasons why it happened, she almost missed the tiny light in the sand. She stops, seeing the glowing dot in the distance and analyzes it for a few seconds before she decides to move again, stepping closer and closer until she sees what it was.

It was a tiny candle. Those flat battery powered ones, deep in the sand…that…is weird. She looks back over her shoulder to see if Shells and Penny were coming, but there was no sign of them. When she looks ahead she sees another candle a few feet away, so she gets closer to it only to see a few more forming almost like a line guiding her away from the bar.

“What the hell?” she asks quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear when the wind made it drop from her ponytail before it hits her in the eye. She’s confused…wait was she on the wrong side of the beach? But this was usually the area where the guys would play football, then what was going on? The more she walked, the more tiny candles she could see until she reached an area where the candles no longer formed a line, but a circle.

Now she was extremely confused, furrowing her eyebrows and looking around, trying to find anyone. By the time she looks back ahead, her eyes widen and her mouth parts in a gasp. At first, she thought it was a trick of her eyes, maybe she’s seeing things - she’s hearing things, why wouldn’t she see them? - because she desires it so much.

Because, for all that was Holy, Bradley was right in the center of that light circle. Wearing all white with his hands clasped behind his back. Beatrice doesn’t move, in fact she’s not even sure she’s breathing, “...Brad?” she asks quietly, slowly getting closer. His figure gets sharper and solid, she could see the creases on his white jacket and she could smell his cologne.

If this was just a figment of her imagination, she had to check. Not-So-Sure-He-Was-Real Bradley opens his mouth to speak, but stops when she puts her palm in the middle of his chest, then the other one, then drags them all the way up to his face. The second her hand comes in contact with his cheeks, she pulls them back as if she was electrocuted, giving a few steps back in surprise, “Brad?” She repeats and the Not-So-Sure-He-Was-Real Bradley turns into Oh-My-God-He-Is-Real Bradley in a matter of seconds.

“Hi gorgeous.”

Beatrice screams in surprise, then lunges at him with her arms immediately wrapping around his neck and his own around her waist, keeping her up in the air as her legs kick back and forth. She didn’t know how to react, she was crying and laughing and thanking every deity that existed, pulling back to kiss him over and over, cupping his cheeks with both of her hands and laughing against his mouth, “You are here.” she whispers on his lips, her glassy eyes shining under the moonlight and the tiny candles. “I thought–you said you were coming back next month.”

Bradley smiles, placing her down back on the sand gently and kissing the top of her head, “I might’ve…” he shrugs, “Added a little white lie.”

“...you–what?”

Rooster sighs, then licks his lips, “I wasn’t going to stay there for six months, baby. I…had to say it because of what I was planning to do.”Oh he was going to surprise her on his birthday! Of course! But when she says that to him he just laughs again, then shakes his head, “Well..sort of. It’s…well…” he clears his throat, rubs his hands together and looks behind her for a second then returns his gaze to her green irises, “It’s…whew this is harder than I thought?”

Beatrice’s smile falters and she furrows her brows, “You…said you had a meeting to go to.”

“I did have one.” he clears his throat again, “As soon as I left the base,I…really didn’t even change it.”he chuckles, gesturing to his white uniform, “It was a very important meeting.”

-

He was sweating, he was sweating and he was trying really hard to not chicken out before the time. This was immensely risky, but it was Pete who assured him he should try. So, once he reaches the colorful glass door he stops and leans his hands on his knees, inhaling and exhaling quickly before he straightens himself, “Okay.” he bounces on the porch, hearing the dogs’ nails clicking behind the door, “Okay,I can do it.”

He knocks on the door and waits with his cap under his arm, and to him it’s like it takes an eternity for the door to open. He heaves out a sigh of relief once it does reveal Beatrice’s mother, “Bradley! Hello!” the woman immediately hugs him, pulling back to look at him from top to bottom with confusion, “Why, were you just at the base, bambino?”

“Ah yes, is um,” he clears his throat, trying to swallow the nerves, “Is Rafael home?”

“Yes!Yes he is! He’s in his office, come on in, do you want some coffee, bambino?” he just nods because that’s all he can do. The pitbulls greet him at the door, where he gently pets them before he walks into the house. Every sound of his shoes hitting the floor is louder than he thought, Claudia’s voice alongside the pitbulls rushing around just fade into the background when he nears Rafael’s office.

It’s like slow motion.

But worse.

He feels a bit sick.

Bradley stands at the door frame, seeing Rafael’s back as he messes with his piano. The older man looks up from what he was doing and smiles, pulling off his glasses, “Bradley! What a surprise!” Beatrice’s father claps the pilot on the shoulder “What brings you here?”

Rooster licks his dry lips, then sets his cap on one of the many bookshelves her father had in this room, then he…doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he grabs the cap again and returns it to its place under his arm, clenching the black rim, “I…I would like your permission.” Rafael’s posture straightens, “To ask Beatrice’s hand in marriage.”

There’s a loud crash outside the office, followed by the dogs’ startled yelp that makes both men look back at the door, “Amore?” Rafael asks “Are you okay?” 

Claudia doesn’t respond, she just shows up at the door with her eyes glistening with tears and her hands tented in front of her lips, “Dio mio, Bradley, I–” she starts fanning herself, “Dio santissimo oh I need to-to clean this…do not come outside! Th-There’s ceramic and hot coffee all over the floor!”

Her mother wanders off still looking shocked, but they could hear her whispering to herself and gently crying once she walks away. Rooster hoped it was a good reaction. When he faces Rafael again, the older man has a knowing smile on his face under that thick beard of his “So, you want my permission.”

“Yes.”

Rafael lips purse when he nods, “And…you have a ring?”

“I do.” It took some time, and a lot of help from Penny, to pull it off. He grabs the velvet box from his pocket and opens it for Rafael to see. His future father in law looks down at the ring, his own eyes widening in recognition and he couldn’t help but look back at Bradley in surprise. Rafael’s own eyes shine with unshed tears, and he tells Bradley he can close the box, “I know you might think it’s too soon but–”

“It does not matter, Bradley.” Rafael’s own voice sounds a bit choked up, wiping under his eye so he can remove the tear that dared to fall, “She loves you and you love her and…time isn’t going to prevent it from happening. Of course you have my permission, ragazzo.” he says, wrapping his arms around Rooster’s shoulders and engulfing him into a hug. The younger pilot clenches his eyes in relief, hugging Rafael just as tightly. The older man claps his upper back twice and pulls back, giving the pilot a teary smile, “When are you proposing?”

“Tonight, actually in–” he looks down at his watch “A few minutes, hopefully.” he felt so much lighter and his stomach was no longer in knots anymore, “...thank you.” 

Rafael just shakes his head with a chuckle, “Do not thank me, I thank you, for making my tesoro so happy.” he was about to say more but Claudia’s crying gets louder when she appears back on the doorway. She has fat tears rolling down her face and is trying so hard to stop them by fanning herself.

“Oooh, my God.” her voice is shaky and cracking, “Ohh Dio Mio.” she doesn’t even stop herself, she just hugs Bradley like her husband did,pulling back to cup his cheeks and kiss his forehead, “You,” a sniffle, “You are a wonderful boy and I…am so honored you are asking us this, Bradley.”

“Thank you ma’am.” he smiles back, “I really want to make Beatrice happy.”

Claudia just tilts her head and smiles, “You already do.”

-

“...oh.” Beatrice says, he hasn’t elaborated why the meeting was so important, “Well but if that’s the case then why– what are you doing?” she immediately stops talking when she sees him going down on one knee, “Why are you on your knee?”

“Bea.” he reaches for her hand, grabbing with his own as the other comes up to cover her mouth, “Baby.”

“You are joking, what are you doing??!!” 

Bradley just takes in a deep breath, “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he begins, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, “And I can’t imagine my life without you. Baby, baby look at me.” Beatrice is looking anywhere but at him, “Bea, angel, look at me.” the waterworks are already flowing down her face when she meets his eyes again, “Beatrice Schiavoni–”

“Brad–”

“Will you,” her eyes widen, about to pop out of the sockets when she sees him pulling out the red velvet box from inside his pants pocket, “Give me the honor to call you my wife?” When he pops the box open it takes a few minutes for her to see what it was…but once she does she immediately drops to her knees in front of him. It was obviously a ring…but it was very similar to her nonna’s engagement ring. Except the gems were smaller and the band thinner, in white gold instead of the usual yellow.

Beatrice is now on her knees, both of her hands cupping her mouth as she breathes in and out heavily, sobbing quietly as she looks at it. He was proposing, Bradley was proposing to her when she didn’t even talk to him about getting married yet, he was…he wanted to marry her, he wanted to marry her. Beatrice barely sees his face anymore because of the tears in her eyes, he’s a blob of white but she hiccups, “Y-Yes.”

“Yes? Is that a yes?”

“I-It’s always a yes.” she manages to blurt out, holding up her shaky left hand and trying her best to calm herself down. The ring slides down her finger until it reaches the base and Beatrice feels another wave of tears crashing down on her, holding her hand closer to her eyes to have a better look only to give it up because she was still crying too much to see. She whimpers quietly, trying to wipe her eyes the best she could, “I look a-a mess,”

“You look beautiful,” he replies, his voice lighter, “You always do.”

Beatrice couldn’t stop the teary laugh that make its way out of her mouth, sniffling and looking down at her ring one more time before she sees Rooster’s face more clearly. His own eyes are shining and he’s grinning back at her with his position still the same, “You want to marry me.”

“I do.”

She couldn’t help the next sob that comes out, pushing herself to her feet and then launching her body on his so she tackles him to the soft sand, laughing and crying on his shoulder and kissing his lips over and over as they both lay on the sand like that. “I love you.” she whispers on his mouth, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,Bea. I really do.” he says back, the two chuckling like teenagers with their foreheads touching.

“Did she say yes yet?!”

Shells’ voice from the distance breaks the moment, making the two turn their heads to the voice. Beatrice’s mouth drops open when she sees not only Shells but the whole Dagger Squad standing there with their phones up and not so far from them either. “She did!” he shouts back, “We aren’t just rolling on the sand for nothing!”

“Thank God!”

“Wait, what–” Realization hits, “Oh my God!!”

“I’m sorry baby, they were all on it too.” Bradley offers an apologetic shrug that wasn’t apologetic at all, “It was hard keeping some people’s mouths shut, but it was worth it.” Beatrice looks down at him with surprise written all over her face, but she starts laughing, pushing herself off his chest so he could sit up. She gently brushes the sand off his hair and coat, with the hand that had her ring.

The ring he proposed to her with. 

Beatrice just looked down at it again, still trying to wrap her mind around it, then looks up when she sees he’s already on his feet, offering his hand for her to take. She does, he pulls her up and he hugs her to his side, dropping a kiss to her head as the two wander back to the Hard Deck where the cheering was louder than the Fourth of July.

[cowboylikeghost]

Here are 73 fact about me that nobody ask for but i need validation

1- I love Reading, drawing and plants even if i always kill them

2- I'm a whore for Jane Austen

3- I love when people prove that a conspiracy theory is false

4- I have a weird passion for geology and paleontology

4- I probably have undiagnosed ADHD because of my mother

5- I'm bad at frienship, every of them have to be special

6- My love language is talking about my passion and learning everything about the person, people think it's weird, i have nobody

7- I'm hopeless romantic even if i act like i'm not

8- I hate being touch and i hate hug, they feel weird to me

9- I hate when someone is next to me and their arm or knee touch me, it's make me feel anxious

10- I'm an introvert with diagnosed social anxiety, i'm also an infp and a sagittarius

11- I'm bi and disgusted about the idea of having s*x with someone, i think i'm ace, nobody will ever love me like i do

12- Autumn is the best season and i basically live for rainy day, if it could rain forever i will be the happiest

13- I love academic validation but i suck at school, my only way to work is to pretend i'm Chilton Rory Gilmore

14- I read non stop for 6 month and after i go on a reading slump for the rest of the year

15- I don't have a stable personality

16- I write sad poetry

17- I'm sad and this is my main personality trait

18- My family said that i'm basically sadness from this Disney movie

19- I want to move in a cottage in England with a lot of mountains so i can found cool rocks

20- I have a no self control and a big problem with my emotions

21- I get angry very easily

22- I only have 3 friends and one of them is my sister

23- I have commitment issues

24- I broke up two times in two years with two different girls that lives at more than 8h from me

25- I hate what the french language became even if i can't write a sentence without any fault

26- English is my fav subject at school

27- I hate eyes contact, it's make me uncomfy and i feel like people judge me

28- I feel like i'm better than everyone

29- I feel like everyone hate me

30- I feel sorry for every teacher

31- I love being in my bed, scrolling on my phone or reading but i hate sleeping because i feel like i'm wasting my time

32- Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night because i feel like i forgot something for school, even if i'm in vacation

33- I hate people at school because i get bullied

34- People don't like me but i would kill to have someone like me in my life so i don't understand

35- I don't understand every jokes, i just know it's suppose to be funny so i laught, i just understand that

36- Taylor Swift is my only religion

37- I Iove more Harry styles songs than Harry styles himself, i found him arrogant and he always date problematic women, Stan Niall

38- I would do anything for Ben Barnes and Tom Hiddleston or any british men in their 40 who have a degree in literature

39- I relate to Spencer Reid in a way that nobody could ever understand

40- I love true crime, my favorite stories are about cult

41- My love for my cat is not healthy, if he died, i have to follow him

42- I alway stop watching Gilmore girls when Rory finish Chilton because i hear that she became annoying but she's one of my confort character so i don't want to see it

43- I prefer the marauders over the golden trio

44- I'm a Remus Lupin kinnie and a James Potter Simp

45- I hate Dumbledore with my whole heart i could talk about it for hours

46- I started all the young dudes, i like it but i cry at every chapter so i stoped

47- I hate my brother but if he died i would be destroyed

48- When i was little i have an obsession with panda and now i have panda everywhere in my room

49- I don't know if i want to live alone forever because i like the idea or because of any other reason

50- I alway need adults validation

51- When i was a kid i was sleeping with my socks on because i liked it but i learned that some people think it's weird so i stoped

52- I eat my cereal with no milk and i don't understand the debate, for me it always taste the same: disgusting

53- I hate touching food that isn't mine ( like when someone ask if you want to taste their meal, or if you have to clean something that someone else eat in, it's just make me want to threw up)

54- I have to sleep with no sound, if you breath a little to loud i will not be able to sleep, i'll be angry and probably hit you, one time my sister breathed too loud and i cryed

55- When i was a kid i hated turtle neck, it maked me feel like i was chocking but i learned how to support it even if it's still uncomfy

56- I hate when a shirt, a dress or a blouse show too mutch of my skin, i don't like it

57- I always wear a tank top with my t-shirt and if i don't i feel naked

58- My first panick attack was because i had a fight with my brother and my dad was yelling at me and didn't see it (i'm not mad at him)

59- When i was little i acted like i couldn't read because i was scared my mom will not read story to me anymore

60- I had my first phone at 13 but i wish i didn't

61- When i was 11 i started reading sm*t on my DS and it became an addiction, i wish everyday i forget what i read

62- I realise i was bi because of Millie Bobby Brown in Stranger things

63- I didn't realise my feminisme wasn't good until a 12yrs old insulted me in a comment section, i said thanks to her after

64- I love kids, i think they're cute and i'm jealous of their innocence so i act like i hate them

65- I want to raise a kid alone in the forest

66- I'm sure that my grandma in my dad side is a lesbian and that my mom is bisexual but have internalised homophobia

67- I hate when boomer joke about hating their husband/wife, just divorce

68- I still have my babies plush even if they're disgusting and look possessed

69- I sleep with my fairy lights on because three month ago i had a sleep paralysis

70- My parents are responsible of 80% of my insecurities and don't even know it

71- I love when it's get dark earlier in autumn/winter

72- I'm an Amy March simp

73- I just made a liste of 73 fact about me

[queenofglassbeliever]

Headcanon that the spell that kept Alice locked in the tower also affected every aspect of time. The flow of it, Alice's perception of it, her aging, and even Hook's aging while he was in the tower. Alice did spend 17 years in the tower, but only 4.25 years had gone by in the rest of the Magical Forest. Breaking it down. Divide Alice's 17 years into 4 sections. One section for each year and 3 months in the Magical Forest. 17 ÷ 4.25 = 4. For every year and 3 months in the Magical Forest, Alice experiences 4 years in the tower.

Say Alice's birthday is Feb. 5th and Ella's is March 7th. And that Ella was 15, almost 16, when Alice is born in the tower. It's Feb. 5 both inside and outside the tower. A year and 3 months in the Magical Forest goes by. It's May and Ella is 17, but Alice is 4 years old. Because for Alice and Hook it's been 4 years and as far as they know it's February. For every 3 months in the Magical, it's one year in the tower.

It's Feb. 5 in and outside of the tower. Alice is born. 3 months go by in the Magical Forest. It's April 5th and Ella is 16. But Alice and Hook have experienced a full year in the tower. Hook notices that he and Alice have aged more quickly than they should've. And he uses the stars to do the math. By charting the stars over a couple months, Magical Forest time, Hook is able to calculate how much time passes in the tower. And he teaches Alice how to chart the stars.

A total of 51 months have gone by in the Magical Forest since the day Alice was born. It's May, but thanks to what her father taught her Alice knows that she turns 17. On her 17th birthday Alice is freed from the tower by the troll. The spell that affected Alice's perception of time is broken. She is now aging at the same pace as every one else in the Magical Forest. Alice is 17 and Ella is 19. Alice spends the next few years exploring Wonderland and other places. It's March 4 years after Alice's escape. The King is throwing a ball to find his oldest son a bride. Alice is 21 now and Ella has just turned 23.

The time aspect of the spell serves to futher isolate Alice from the rest of the Magical Forest. And futher seprates Alice and Hook after his heart is poisoned and he's cast out of the tower. He spends years looking for a cure and a way to free Alice, knowing that Alice is experiencing a far greater passages of time in the tower.

[rotten-queer]

HRT @ Planned Parenthood

Trying to call for an appointment is impossible I think, I scheduled my appointment online and they contacted Me to confirm the appointment and talk about the costs and how they could help me afford it since Medicaid won't cover transition costs in my state

Initial Cost: $250

Followup: $200

The patient manager person said she would give me a 50% discount since I'd be paying out of pocket, bringing the cost of the appointment down to $125.

During the appointment, they asked me what my income was like, I said I'm currently a part time working making minimum wage ($11.15) and that I typically make about $200 per pay period on average.

It's been a couple weeks and I still haven't been charged for the appointment, so I can only assume they either covered it, or I'll pay at a later date, I have no clue.

Planned Parenthood provided me with needled, syringes, and a sharps container. I bought bandages and alcohol prep pads at Walgreens

Definitely check the goodRx app/website to see which pharmacies near u get the best deals, I chose a walgreens bc its close enough I can walk to, and it's the 2nd cheapest option for buying testosterone with the goodRx coupon.

Original Cost of T without coupon:

- $120

Singlecare:

-$51

(Walgreens apparently already has Singlecare cards to use, but I will def be using GoodRx next time)

GoodRx:

-Walgreens: $30.81

-CVS: $19.82

-Walmart: $47.12

This is covering 3 months worth of T btw, so $51 doesn't phase me too much cuz I pay the same price for 3 months of contacts, but $30 or even $20 is the better deal For Sure

CVS is just a bit further than walgreens so I'll probably still to walgreens till I can drive, then I'll see if CVS is good cuz the $20 cost sounds great

Anyway, during the appointment they'll ask about basic stuff like family history, current diagnoses, current medications, previous surgeries, then they'll ask about your "gender journey"

Ex.

When did you find out you were trans?

- I was 12 or 13

________________________

How long have you been out as trans?

- approx. 5 yrs

________________________

Do you have ppl who support you?

- Many ppl, my friends and lowkey my dad & stepdad

________________________

Do you feel as though you are being pressured into taking HRT, or are you being forced to take HRT?

- Definitely not

________________________

What are your goals, what do you hope to gain by taking testosterone?

- Deeper voice, more body hair, certain growth, body fat redistribution

________________________

What are your concerns about taking testosterone?

- Worsened acne, hair loss, higher risk of diabetes/insulin resistance

________________________

Do you plan on having biological children in the future?

- My response was basically "Hell no", but if you do plan on having kids, they'll go over ur options of freezing eggs and all that in case T reduces ur fertility or makes u infertile.

________________________

I expressed that I would love to be infertile, so they also mentioned that they could help me get sterilized in some way when the time eventually comes to do have that done

[aerii-korvatris]

The Murderbot Diaries 1-4 Timeline

I suddenly was struck with the urge to determine exactly how much time passes in each of the first 4 novellas of the Murderbot Diaries and how much time passed total between them.  I will probably go back and do Network Effect at some point, but the timeline information in that book is not presented as chronologically as in the first 4 Novellas, so it’s a bit trickier.

Spoilers for All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, and Exit Strategy of The Murderbot Diaries.  The details are vague but contain enough information that you can tell what happened on each cycle, including the end of each book.

All Systems Red-

Approximately 35,000 hours since MB hacked its gov mod

On survey for 22 cycles at start of book

ASR 1 - Hostile 1 attacks Drs Bharadwaj and Volescu. Mensah and MB have first meaningful conversation

ASR 2 - MB repaired, awkward conversations are had, PresAux analyze the information packet

ASR 3 -

Trip to missing map sections occurs, presumably takes most of the day.

PresAux are unable to contact DeltFall

Rescue Team begin flight to DeltFall (as they flew through the night)

ASR 4 - Arrive at DeltFall habitat at dawn, presumably all events happen within the cycle

ASR 5-6 (?) -

MB wakes up, time unclear but at least 1 cycle had passed due to flight time between DeltFall and PresAux habitats

PresAux habitat abandoned

ASR 6-7 (?) -

PresAux setup their camp

More awkward concversations

At least one day passes as there is a rest period

ASR 7-8 (?) - "mid-afternoon the next day" starts drone recon, lasts until at least the night

ASR 8-9 (?) -

"appointed time next day" for GreyCris meet

all events prior to MB falling into “semi-consciousness” of Ch 7 happen on this day

ASR ??? - MB wakes up on PortFreeCommerce, at least a few weeks must have passed since the survey to accommodate wormhole travel, MB’s repairs, and whatever legal battle occurred that led to a court order

Total: 30-31 cycles since the start of survey until beacon launch, 8-9 cycles since book start to beacon launch.

Due to uncertainty of time between Beacon Launch and Waking up on PortFreeCommerce, total count of time passage for novellas will begin with Artificial Condition instead

Artificial Condition -

Note: MB mentions that “the inside of my head had been my own for +33,000 hours” and the Ganaka Pit Incident occurred “approximately 35,000 hours ago.” This is in conflict with timescales from All Systems Red.  Could be related to the fact that MB is an unreliable narrator and did not want its humans to be able to find information about Ganaka Pit

AC 1 - MB leaves PortFreeCommerce, night cycle of last ASR Cycle

AC 7 -

MB disembarks from first transport (free agent for less than 7 cycles)

boards ART

ART introduction

AC 8-27 - MB and ART interactions, due to length of serials being unclear, exact dating is tricky

AC 28 -

MB and ART arrive at RaviHyral Mining Facility Q Station,

initial meeting with Rami, Tapan and Maro occurs later the same day

AC 29 -

MB + Tapan & Co take shuttle from Station to RaviHyral proper,

first meeting with Tlacey and consequences thereof,

Rami and Maro head back to Station while Tapan sneaks off to stay behind,

MB begins to head towards Ganaka Pit

AC 30 -

a slight guess, but it seems safe to assume a cycle has passed at this point since MB spent over 5 hours reviewing the ComfortUnits’ communications and that does not account for all the travel time.

MB meets back with up Tapan and they spend the night at a transient room.

ComfortUnit visits during the night cycle

AC 31 -

MB meets with “friend” and gets Tapan&Co’s files back

Tapan yoinked by Tlacey’s goons

Second Meeting with Tlacey on her shuttle and consequences thereof

ART, MB, and Tapan&Co go their separate ways rapidly to avoid being connected with the murders

Total: 31 cycles since end of All Systems Red

Rogue Protocol  -

Note: Continuation of counting from AC will be in parentheses

RP 1/AC 31 - MB leaves RaviHyral (used as a starting point)

RP 8 (38) -

Transit time with “first friendly cargo transport” that lasted 7 cycles,

MB spends some time in a “private rest cubicle”, so assuming a cycle passes before next step

RP 9 (39) -

Boards transit to HaveRatton which is the transport with “Ayers and his bunch of contract-labor-bound idiots”

RP 35 (65) -

Transport arrives at HaveRatton

MB boards Ship who is going to head to Milu

RP 36 (66) - “Some twenty or so hours later” Gerth and Wilken board Ship

RP 56 (86) - Ship arrives at Milu station (trip took 20 cycles, which MB later notes as being “leisurely” in ES)

RP 57 (87) -

Adventures on the CombatBot invested Terraforming platform (Don Abene and crew took a rest period before their first assessment, which was supposed to last 12 hours)

Sad things happen :(

MB immediately leaves with Ship once the shuttle gets back to Milu station

Total: 57 cycles since start of novella, 87 cycles since end of ASR

Exit Strategy -

Note: Continuation of counting from AC will be in parentheses

ES 1/RP 57/AC 87 - MB leaves Milu station (used as a starting point)

ES 21 (107) -

MB arrives back at HaveRatton (20 cycles assumed from RP)

MB buys clothes,

MB learns that Mensah has been accused of corporate espionage by Grey Cris and is missing (kidnapped), and apparently went to TranRollinHyfa

MB boards first transport towards a “major hub” that can take it to TranRollinHyfa

Noted: news from Milu could have arrived before MB got back to HaveRatton due to faster ships not taking 20 cycles

Noted: Arada, Overse, Bharadwaj, and Volescu left for Preservation about 30 cycles before this (so AC 77ish), which is while MB was en route to Milu

ES 28 (114) -

first transport arrives at “major hub” (trip noted to take 7 cycles)

MB spends 10 hours on hub in a tiny room at a transient hostel

MB mails data clips from Milu to Mensah’s martial partners on Preservation

MB boards second transport to get to TranRollinHyfa

ES 32 (118)

Second Transport arrives at TranRollinHyfa

MB spends time looking for PresAux crew and finds their hotel

MB books at room at the same hotel (giant display surface), spends time trying to confirm PresAux presence and once that’s done, starts coding

ES 33 (119)

MB spends 5 hours waiting for Pin-Lee, Gurathin, and Ratthi to leave their hotel so I’m going to assume this ticked it over to the next cycle ?

Heist Adventure Time

MB’s memory crash occurs

ES 48/55? (133/140?)

In NE, Amena notes that the closest system from Preservation that isn’t Preservation is 15 cycles away (I believe) so this is a low estimate that adds 15 to 22 days to try to account for wherever the Gunship actually went and transfering to a Preservation ship

MB and PresAux arrive at Preservation

ES 50/57 (135/142)

37 hours (rounded to 2 cycles) since arrival, MB finishes its memory rebuilt

MB leaves the suite to explore Preservation Station

Ends up hanging out in Mensah’s office until the next cycle (mentions watching media in her office for 8 hours)

ES 51/58 (136/143)

Ending conversation between MB and Mensah occurs

Totals: On the low end, 51 to 58 cycles passed since start of novella and 136 to 143 cycles since start of Artificial condition.  

Assuming 7 cycle weeks, that is 19.4 to 20.4 weeks since the end of All Systems Red.  

Assuming 30 cycle months, that is 4.5 to 4.8 months

If we just look at cycles from end of ASR until MB met back up with PresAux, it’s 119 cycles, 17 weeks, or one cycle shy of 4 months

Other notes: Mensah was kidnapped while MB was on the way back from Milu to HaveRatton.

Assuming it would take at least 2 cycles for information to travel through the wormhole, the maximum amount of time she was held prisoner would be 31 cycles.  

Based on when MB received the news (and assuming the newsburst went out a minimum of a day after the actual kidnapping), the minimum time Mensah was held prisoner would be 11 cycles.  

So, while trying to keep these estimates conservative, Mensah was held prisoner for somewhere between 11 to 31 cycles.

[felassan]

Article: ‘The Most Powerful Woman in Gaming Wants to Make EA Loved Again’

Laura Miele is helping direct the company toward a future where it’s more attuned with consumers.

One of the first things Laura Miele did when she became chief studios officer of Electronic Arts Inc. three years ago was to gather 19 video game influencers in a conference room. “What do you want me to hear? Lay it on me,” she recalls asking them. “One guy sitting at the corner of the table, he just said, ‘I don’t understand why you don’t give players what they’re asking for.’ ”

[rest of article under cut for length, pasted as Bloomberg has an article read limit]

One of the first things Laura Miele did when she became chief studios officer of Electronic Arts Inc. three years ago was to gather 19 video game influencers in a conference room. “What do you want me to hear? Lay it on me,” she recalls asking them. “One guy sitting at the corner of the table, he just said, ‘I don’t understand why you don’t give players what they’re asking for.’ ”

It’s something many gamers have wondered about EA for years. The $40 billion company, one of the biggest in gaming, is responsible for Battlefield, Madden NFL, and other megahit franchises. But many gamers have long seen EA as a necessary evil, resenting the direction in which it took some games and bristling at its aggressive attempts to extract money by charging extra for digital items in games that cost as much as $70 upfront. This dissatisfaction was no secret in 2018: Gamers spent their days filling up Reddit and other message boards with free advice for EA—but many felt its decision-makers weren’t listening.

EA’s leadership knows it has to improve that relationship, and Miele is a key player in its efforts to do so. Her focus group asked for new content for Star Wars Battlefront II and requested new types of games. Miele quickly assigned 70 people to the Battlefront development project, which dramatically improved its net promoter score, a measure of how likely people are to recommend the game. She also prompted EA to create a skateboarding game and committed to reintroducing its college football franchise, the two genres at the top of the influencers’ list.

In a sense, the guy at the meeting became a stand-in for all of EA’s long-suffering customers in Miele’s eyes. “I wanted to do right by this player,” she says.

As chief studios officer, Miele manages 6,000 staffers and thousands of contractors globally. She oversees EA’s 24 studios, where she makes personnel decisions and sets strategy, and she’s reshaped how the company uses analytics to create and market its games.

In the process she may have become the most powerful woman in gaming. In a 2019 International Game Developers Association survey, fewer than 30% of the more than 1,100 respondents were women, and few if any hold a more central role at such an important company. “It’s a tough place for a woman,” says Peter Moore, who was Miele’s boss when he was EA’s chief operating officer. “It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but she battled her way through.”

Proving good intentions is more important for EA than ever, as the business model of gaming continues to shift in ways that have the potential to alienate customers. Like its rivals, the company is increasing its focus on free-to-play games, making money through sales of digital products such as outfits and weapons for characters.

There are signs it’s succeeding. Apex Legends, EA’s free-to-play hero shooter game, has posted more than $1 billion in sales since it was first published in 2019, and it continues to grow. “The way to succeed with free-to-play games like that is to listen to and engage your customer base and earn their loyalty through incremental purchases,” says Doug Clinton, managing partner of the venture capital firm Loup Ventures, who says Miele deserves much of the credit for Apex Legends. “It feels like a proof point for her that the company is adapting well beyond traditional disk sales.”

Miele, 51, was born in San Francisco but grew up on the north shore of Lake Tahoe. She got her start in games—the kind that require a board—during family nights, when she pitted herself against her brother in Monopoly, Clue, Yahtzee, and backgammon. While attending the University of Nevada at Las Vegas, she worked at architectural companies. By the time she dropped out she’d moved on from receptionist positions to more senior roles, while gaining a reputation for organizing lunch-hour card games with her co-workers.

Miele landed a job as a project manager at Westwood Studios, a video game developer best known for Command and Conquer, in 1996. She eventually took over all marketing for its parent company, Virgin Interactive.

It wasn’t always a hospitable atmosphere: Miele remembers her colleagues expecting her to take notes at meetings, then clean up afterward. “That is just not something I would do today,” she says. “I adapted a lot because I was so passionate about what I was doing. I found my voice along the way.”

When EA acquired Westwood in 1998, she stayed on. At the time, the company did revenue forecasting by looking at sales data once a month and putting together spreadsheets by hand. Miele was tasked with developing more advanced analytics. She hired a group of data analysts, nicknamed “the Jedi,” and had them build EA’s first statistical regression models to examine sales trends, seasonality, and preorders. It took almost two years to put the system in place, but it overhauled the company’s business processes, and executives were soon using it to determine how to invest in advertising and promotions. “I loved how data and analytics can inform your judgment and your gut instinct,” Miele says.

Miele also decided to make one major break with EA’s existing business practices. In 2011 about 80% of game advertising budgets were spent on TV ads. But she saw how much time gamers spent online and decided to spend the bulk of the ad budget for Battlefield 3 on digital, downplaying other types of ads and cutting the TV ad budget to only 30%.

Messing around with the plan for Battlefield 3 was a good way to make people nervous. Miele remembers two executives calling her in for a meeting and demanding to know why they weren’t seeing billboards for the game as they drove in to the office. “It was scary for me, too, and I don’t blame our executives questioning me on that,” she says. But the game ended up being EA’s fastest-selling, moving more than 5 million copies in its first week. From that point, Miele’s marketing strategy became the standard for the company.

When EA signed a 10-year deal with Walt Disney Co. in 2013, Miele became Star Wars general manager. In 2014 she took over publishing operations, marketing, and other key areas, first in the North American region, then globally in 2016. At the time, the game industry was moving from physical disks to digital downloads, transforming its relationship with retail partners such as Walmart Inc. and Best Buy Co.

Miele was in charge of smoothing things over, explaining that EA would start competing with them for customers even as the retailers accounted for the largest portion of the revenue. “I never said to them, ‘Hey, see you later, we are moving on,’ ” she says. “It was, ‘How can we move forward together?’ ” EA began making physical cards with digital credits that its retail partners could sell at their stores, allowing them to share in the revenue from digital sales.

EA’s studios are spread around the globe, and Covid-19 altered Miele’s routine radically. “It was a very difficult year, and I’m really proud about how our company showed up,” she says. “I considered myself a wartime leader last year. You had to get in a bunker with everybody.”

Days became an endless progression of Zoom calls. To keep up with gamers, Miele started spending evenings listening to Clubhouse chats while answering work emails. Because she hasn’t been on the road, she’s also had more time to dine at home and play board games or Apex Legends and The Sims with her 16-year-old twins. As the pandemic retreats in the U.S., her schedule might change, but she still envisions providing more flexibility to her employees to work from home and office. “I do think we’re going to have a different work environment as we go forward,” she says.

Miele is itching to get back to the studio visits. She’s helping steer EA further toward smartphones. The company plans to release mobile versions of Apex Legends globally this year and spent $2.1 billion in April for Glu Mobile Inc., a mobile game publisher, while also preparing the next releases in its existing franchises. “I think the next Battlefield and the mobile shooter games, along with how successful the M&As come out will be key litmus tests of her management this year,” says Matt Kanterman, an analyst with Bloomberg Intelligence. “Her scope is clearly rising.”

— With Dina Bass and Jason Schreier

[source]

[vivilove-jonsa]

I posted 4,160 times in 2021

295 posts created (7%)

3865 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 13.1 posts.

I added 1,794 tags in 2021

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#jonsa - 246 posts

#kit harington - 150 posts

#reblog - 57 posts

#vivilove-jonsa fic - 55 posts

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Longest Tag: 112 characters

#kids are like that except it’s way more of an important decision because u are fucking with an entire human life

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I had me a girl

@jonsaseasonalbash

Day 5 prompt-Songs

Lyrics and title from 'I Had Me a Girl' by The Civil Wars

***

They all think they understand him just because they’ve listened to his music.  They don’t understand though.  They don’t know anything.

They think his muse, the inspiration for all his songs, must be someone from his past, someone who broke his heart once…or maybe he broke hers.

They don’t know the truth and they can’t because they’d never understand.  She’s not part of his past.  She’s not someone he can imagine ever cutting out or leaving behind, not really.

And, Jon Snow would cease to be some rock god in the making if they knew.  No one would even want to admit they’d ever known a single one of his songs or even knew his name if they learned the truth.

Every night, they chat and pretend it’s normal what they do.  Neither one is fooled.  Every night, he sinks deeper into a hell of his own making.  Maybe she burns too though.

He waits with bated breath for the connection to go through.  Wi-Fi is horrible at this hotel chain.  The chat connects and then…

“That’s a lot of pink.  Where the fuck are you, Sansa?”

She giggles, turns the phone around so he can see her face at last, the face that’s always haunting him whenever he’s alone in hotel rooms at night.

“Mama and I went shopping earlier.  I got a new comforter.  You like it?”

“Yeah, it’s, uh…pink.  How’s your mother?”

“Fine,” she says in a tone that tells him the topic isn’t open for further discussion tonight.  "I told her I'm getting my own place next month."

"Did you tell her how you're paying for it?"

"I'm doing alright and they don't need to worry about it.  I'm not a kid anymore."

Her mother’s a touchy subject, one Sansa usually avoids during their chats.  Cat’s no idiot.  She’s not fond of him in general and especially not fond of him being close to her daughter.  At least, she doesn’t know the whole truth.

Moving out is another difficult subject.  He's footing most of the bills but she'll still be in the same town as them and Jon can't just ignore that.

Sansa flops back on the bed, holding her phone up above her, letting that red hair of hers fan out all around her on the new pink comforter.  Those wisps of red hair which seem to outline every note he writes tease him as they fall back on her pillow.  He thinks of them blowing around her pink cheeks on the northern breeze.

She’s got his latest song playing in the background.  He wonders if she always has it cued up and ready for their nightly chat.  Does she know they’re all about her?

‘I had me a girl

who taught me those things

a young man should know…’

He adjusts the angle of his laptop to cut down on the glare from the table lamp.  He likes having her on the bigger screen.

She’s dressed for bed, wearing his old high school jersey.  He can see nearly all of her thighs like this.  She never wears any pajama bottoms, not when they’re talking.

“You look tired,” she comments, frowning.

“Long hours in the studio this week,” he says with a shrug.

“Anyone keeping you up late at night down there in the big city?”

She gets jealous.  She has no reason to be.  Maybe that’s part of the problem.  If he could find some girl around (there’s plenty of them down here who’d hook up with a rock star), if he could take one of them back to his room one night instead of calling her, maybe he’d stop obsessing over this girl.

Yeah, she’d be hurt and he knows he’d hurt too but then maybe they’d get over it and finally move on from this thing they do.

“No one’s keeping me up late ‘cept you.  What color’s your toenail polish tonight?”

She blushes so pretty for him, knowing what’s next.  They do this nearly every night when they chat.

Slowly, she lets her phone drift down those long legs of hers for him, she shows him every creamy inch, until she reaches her perfectly polished toes.

“Blue, huh?”  One hand drops down to adjust himself.  He’s already getting hard.  “That doesn’t match the comforter.”

The phone’s back up to her face.  “I didn’t paint them to match the comforter.  They match something else I bought today.”

“Oh?  Show me, baby.”

She grins, giving him that devilish little look he knows too well, the one he first saw when they were far too young and reckless and lucky not to get caught, the one that tells him Cat’s little angel is about to let her halo slip.

“Just these,” she says casually, pulling up his jersey to reveal a pair of panties, light blue and lacy.

His voice is like gravel when he tells her, “Those are pretty.  Are they soft?”

“Very soft.”

“As soft as what’s in ‘em?”

She shakes her head and he tells her what he wants her to do.

“You too, Jon.  I want to see you, too,” she says all whimpery and sweet.  His sweet girl, he misses her so much.  He’s going to stay up all night writing another song when they’re done maybe and tomorrow he’ll ask the guys to try it out in the studio with him.

But an unexpected, thundering knock on her door has her sitting up before they can really get started.  She shoves his jersey back down right as it opens.

“Daddy!  I was just chatting with Jon!” Sansa explains, voice high and nervous…not that the old man will notice.

Jon’s stomach churns when Ned Stark’s face leans into the frame.  That solemn face breaks into a grin once he sees Jon.

“How’s Kings Landing treating you, son?”

“It’s good, Dad,” Jon answers, hating himself, wondering if he’d rather scowl at the interruption or vomit because of all the things he wants to do with his daddy’s little girl tonight.

127 notes • Posted 2021-04-26 18:32:30 GMT

#4

For Day 16 of the 31 Days of Jonsa -Trapped Together

(This fic will be expanded later on but I wanted to share what I had for the event. It won't be on ao3 until it's completed.)

**

Friday 6:32 PM

As a wedding planner, Sansa rarely works in the office this late especially on Fridays but there’s paperwork to see to today. Taxes. Bleh. How very unromantic.

Nevertheless, she’s here and doing it because she loves her little company - Lemoncakes & Lovers, where your Happily Ever After starts.

She’s already bid her three employees goodnight over an hour ago and there are no weddings for her to attend this weekend (for once). She’ll have a weekend free to enjoy whatever she wishes. Alone.

Sighing quietly at that thought, she hears some noise from the office space next to hers. A file cabinet slamming shut and the muffled sound of a phone ringing. He’s still here this late? Well, she supposes Heralds of Doom prefer long hours.

Jon Snow, Attorney at Law. But more specifically, he’s a divorce attorney.

Jon Snow who, when she’d been moving into her new little office space three months ago after working out of her home for over a year, had scoffed at her newly (and beautifully) painted sign on the lobby window advertising her services.

“I should probably add something to our sign for the future benefit of our new neighbor’s customers. ‘This is where you go when the Happily Ever After flops.’”

No, he hadn’t realized when he’d said it that she’d been standing right behind him and of course not everyone loves weddings like Sansa.

His partner, the very sweet Samwell Tarly and source of any building intel she’s accrued, had noticed her though and elbowed him in the ribs before turning to introduce themselves to their new neighbor on the fourteenth floor.

Mr. Snow, for his part, had looked away with a pained grimace the moment their eyes had met. He’d endured the introductions before muttering, ‘Good luck in your endeavor, Ms. Stark,’ and striding away.

She’s seen him walking past her window and giving it more than one sour glance since that day so she’s avoided Mr. Not-So-Sunny Snow and hopes none of the couples she arranges weddings for will ever have need of his services.

Oh, she’s no fool. She understands how these things go and is aware of the divorce rate. But Sansa hopes. Sometimes, that’s all we can do.

And no, she’s not been able to avoid him completely by any means. They often ride the elevator together on the mornings that she’s in the office.

Anytime they do ride together though, he’s always so tense. Their words are stilted and few, hers because Sansa has never known how to handle someone who apparently doesn’t like her and his because…well, clearly he doesn’t like her or her profession.

So, it really shouldn’t matter that she objectively finds Jon Snow handsome, should it? That’s just silliness on her part, probably part of her deep-seated desire to be liked by everyone. He’s obviously just a crusty, bitter old man in a thirty-something’s body…a rather cut thirty-something’s body judging by the times they’ve shared the elevator when he’s been coming or going from the gym.

Regardless, if Jon Snow enjoys spending his Friday nights watching wedded unions fall to pieces, that’s none of her business. She wouldn’t know what he enjoys and doubts she ever will.

7:18 PM

Jon lays his glasses aside to rub his tired eyes. The words in this brief are running together and he should probably call it a night but, with so few of his cases actually going to court anymore (it’s all usually procedural paperwork to file at most), he wants to be on top of everything come Monday. He hopes to win Walda every last dime she’s got coming her way from Mr. Bolton.

He hears the cleaning crew vacuuming down the hall and knows he should shove off since they’ll soon be done as well. But when you’ve got nothing but an empty flat and frozen dinner to go home to on a Friday night? He sighs and puts his glasses back on.

Ten minutes later, he hears a low thump through the wall and his ears perk up. That was next door, wasn’t it? Next door where Ms. Stark’s office is.

Surely, it’s not her. Probably just the cleaning crew. She gets here early like him but she’s usually out by 2PM, likely weighing the appeal of various venues or approving iced confections. Her job requires much less time in the office which is fine…and also a shame.

What’s more of a shame is you and poor first impressions though. He does seem to make those more often than he would like.

He hadn’t meant to insult her at all and certainly not before they’d even met. His bitterness with regards to the business of matrimony has nothing to do with her and he didn’t make his statement with the intent of dashing anyone else’s enthusiasm. I’m just awkward that way.

And when he’d turned around and seen her standing there? Not only did he feel like a heel but, damn, she was beautiful. He wishes he could’ve seen her eyes when they were likely bright with pride and pleasure at the sight of her new sign.

But instead, her eyes had been narrowed having caught his flippant remark. At that point, he’d withdrawn into himself (his favorite defense mechanism) and since then it’s plain she’d rather avoid him whenever possible so he gives her her space and nurses his regrets in silence.

He rises from his desk at the sound of another thump and draws closer to their shared wall. The air unit’s duct work connects their two office spaces and he can sometimes catch snatches of conversation when she’s meeting with a client, her sunny-sweet voice filtering through to seep into his bones.

She wouldn’t be meeting someone this late, would she? Well, she could be. People work and maybe can’t meet with a wedding planner during the usual business hours and he supposes her line of work already requires some flexibility when it comes to one’s hours.

He catches just a muffled word or two. It sounds like ‘love you.’ It is her. And of course, she loves someone. Sansa Stark would certainly love someone and whoever that lucky person is would obviously love her back. He hopes he never sees her sitting opposite him in this office or in divorce court.

A file cabinet closes next door and he hears the faint click of her heels. She’s leaving. He glances at the clock. He should really leave, too. He’s done all he can here tonight.

Besides, the building’s parking garage doesn’t give off the safest of vibes at any time of day and certainly not after dark. If he can catch the elevator with her, he can at least feel some measure of comfort knowing she made it safely to her vehicle.

And I can ride down with her.

He doesn’t care for riding elevators. In fact, he hates them. He would take the stairs but it’s a lot of floors and his pride feels pricked to admit he’s afraid of riding the contraption like normal people do.

At least if someone’s with me and we fall, I won’t die alone.

Yes, he’s a regular ray of sunshine.

7:39 PM

Sansa locks the main door to her office and peers down the silent, partially darkened hallway towards the elevator. Then, she looks the other way towards the law firm where Jon Snow works. Through their glass lobby windows, she can see it’s utterly dark in there so he’s likely left by now.

She’s never been here so late. She’d seen Pia with her mop just a little bit ago she’d swear but the whole crew appears to be done and gone.

An unwelcome shiver chases down her spine but it’s just an office building. Security’s still downstairs, right?

Or are they? It’s late on a Friday and this building doesn’t keep a night watchman to her knowledge.

She chides herself and those abysmal taxes for delaying her but determines to cast away her fears, stepping out with the click-clack of her heels to keep her company upon the marble floor. Her parents know she’s leaving work, that she’ll be coming to visit them tomorrow. She’s fine. She’s not afraid of a dark hallway or a parking garage. But to be smart, she pulls her phone back out of her purse and unlocks it.

It’s a long hallway and it seems to stretch eerily onward tonight but she’s fine. She’s here alone.

Wait…

She’s not here alone.

There’s the unmistakable sound of someone closing a door and walking down the hall behind her, several paces back but not too far back. Someone who sounds like a man from the echoes of their footfalls.

Just one of the guys on the cleaning crew. Turn around and wave.

But fear renders her hesitant to, a sickening dread of discovering something undesired and dangerous.

If it’s one of the guys on the crew, they’ll speak. She knows all their names and they’re always friendly with her.

No one speaks.

She picks up her pace a touch. She’s got long legs though she’s cursing her heels. She should’ve changed into the running shoes she keeps on hand if needed. No matter. She’s pretty quick.

But the footsteps behind her speed up to match her new pace.

Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods.

She reaches the elevator on the verge of hyperventilating. She hurriedly presses the button but how long will it take to get here? Not soon enough. Does she dart into the stairwell instead? Does she have any chance of outrunning this stranger if necessary? Why didn’t she take up kickboxing when Arya had asked if she wanted to join her? Why did she scoff at Robb’s pepper spray keychain he’d bought her when she moved out?

The familiar rumble of the elevator drawing nearer sends her fight and flight reflexes into overdrive. What if he gets on with her and then tries something? She’ll be trapped! There’s video cameras but, with no one manning them, what will that matter?

Weighing the wisdom of taking off one of her heels to wield as a weapon, she yelps when the elevator dings.

“Hold the door!” a gruff voice calls.

She spins at that sound and knows she must look a vision of terror when she spies…Jon Snow?

“Gods, it’s just you,” she huffs with more venom than intended.

He strides up next to her with his satchel over his shoulder. “Yeah…sorry to disappoint.”

His jacket’s over an arm with his shirtsleeves rolled up and why must he be so attractive when he dislikes her so?

She steps onto the elevator with him following, punches the button for G3 and realizes it would only be courteous to explain her tone from a few seconds ago. “Sorry. I heard someone behind me and it was dark. I guess I started to freak out a bit.” His eyebrows shoot upward. Now, he probably thinks she’s a paranoid scaredy-cat. “Sorry. What floor?”

“Same. G3. And I’m sorry if I gave you a scare, Ms. Stark. I didn’t mean to.”

“Sansa,” she says as the elevator doors close. “You can call me Sansa…if you want.” A completely unnecessary addition. He knows her first name but has chosen to call her Ms. Stark. It’s not like they’re friends or even business associates. In fact, they’re on the exact opposite side of their business in a sense.

“Right. Sansa. I remember your name.”

The elevator starts to descend and he’s glaring at the lighted floor buttons above the doors like he hates being here so much. He doesn’t encourage her to call him Jon either. It’s going to be a loooong elevator ride.

But secretly, she’s glad he’s going to the same level of the garage if nothing else. That place gives her the creeps sometimes and, while Jon doesn’t put her at ease with his demeanor, he doesn’t frighten her either. She’s known a few creeps and he’s not like them.

Just zone out until you reach the garage. Everyone does that in the elevator, don’t they? Zone out, get to your car and drive home. You don’t have to see him again until Monday at the very soonest and this whole embarrassing business of you freaking out can blow over.

Somewhere between ten and nine though, he clears his throat and drags her from of her zoning out. “Your name…it’s pretty.”

She blinks, her head whipping his way again. Did she just get a compliment? She’ll take it as one. “Thanks…Jon.”

He’s still staring at those lighted numbers above but she sees his lips quirking into a reluctant grin at the way she sort of sing-songed his name, a little grin he can’t quite suppress. It’s a fetching grin, a very fetching grin.

Something kind of warm and fluttery attacks her better senses and she finds herself wanting to chat with him. Probably a horrible idea. Just because he says her name is pretty doesn’t mean he likes her at all.

Still, she can’t resist turning towards him as they continue their descent, somewhere between five and four.

His head has just swiveled to meet her gaze when it happens - a horrendous, jolting shudder as the elevator comes to an abrupt halt!

7:42 PM

He reaches out for her and the wall both out of instinct with the jolt. He feels her hand closing around his wrist as the lights flicker off but they stay on their feet. She’d given a little screech and he’d bitten his tongue to strangle his own.

Did the power go out? Or is the elevator acting up? The cable about to snap and them about to plunge to their deaths?

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” he’s muttering though it’s for himself as much as her.

A loud buzzing sound like an alarm is followed by something metallic hitting the concrete pad several floors below them. What is happening?

We’re going to die, that’s what.

“Fuck, fuck.”

He hates elevators! Why didn’t he just start taking the stairs. He’s in shape. He’s never getting on one of these again.

You say as if you’re going to survive. It’s eight stories to the lowest level of the parking garage.

All those primal fears from childhood come sweeping over him; the fear of darkness, the fear of being trapped in this little box hanging by a thread, of falling to his death.

They’re twisted up with the memories of when he’d ride the elevator up to his father’s office, the smell of cloying cologne making the knot in his stomach that much worse and the stupid love songs spouting their lies playing over the speaker.

“Jon?”

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” he’s goes back to saying, wishing it were so.

But nothing’s alright. They’re trapped. They’ll die here. The building’s deserted on a Friday night and no one will know-

“It is alright, Jon. We’re going to be alright,” he hears her say softly through his panic and her hand slips into his, squeezing in a reassuring way. “It’s just a mechanical malfunction.”

“Shit, shit, shit.” He hates being afraid like this. He hates that she’s seeing him this afraid.

“I’m sure it’s nothing bad. We’ve not moved since the initial jolt. We’re okay.”

Then, as if in answer to her optimism, the emergency light comes on, a weak, yellow light but enough to cast away the darkness and banish a fraction of his terror.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

She’s a little shaky like he feels but she lets go of his hand and pushes the elevator emergency call button. Who will answer? He doesn’t know. When will they answer? He doesn’t know that either.

“Phones,” he manages to suggest.

“Oh right.”

He digs into his pocket. Hers is in her hand. Thank gods for cell phones. They’ll be fine.

“I’m not…I don’t have a signal.”

“Neither do I.” They’re in the interior of this old building where reception can get spotty. So much for fucking cell phones.

“I think we might be stuck here for a bit,” she says as calmly as she can manage and he admires that. Wishes he could be so calm…or at least fake it a little.

“I don’t like elevators,” he mutters.

“I’m not too fond of them either at the moment.”

Involuntarily, he smiles at that. She’s managed to make him smile, the wedding planner with the undoubtedly sunny outlook on life. “Sorry you’re stuck here with me.”

“Better than alone.” Gods, she’s right. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he was alone but he doesn’t think he’d be managing it well. She slides to the floor and slips her heels off. “May as well get comfortable.”

“Comfortable…yeah.”

He does the same as her, setting down his satchel before sliding down the opposite wall. He’s stuck on an elevator with the beautiful woman who doesn’t like him. He’s barely holding panic at bay. He’s anything but comfortable right now but at least they’re together.

135 notes • Posted 2021-10-16 13:22:54 GMT

#3

Continuing with my Funko posts (1, 2) featuring the amazing custom Funkos made by @amymel86 (thank you again, honey), here’s Sansa in her Feast Dress and Jon checking it out...

139 notes • Posted 2021-03-13 14:28:45 GMT

#2

The Farmer's Wife

Farmer, 28, hardworking and of some means, seeks young woman willing to move to Idaho with object being matrimony. Box 517 for correspondence.

Jon Snow’s advertisement had been straightforward with no unwanted flowery promises and his situation will meet her needs. Who would ever look for a Philadelphia debutante-turned-murderess in Idaho?

However, Sansa may discover that the man who married Alayne harbors a few secrets of his own.

WIP Wednesday so I'm going to share a bit more of this upcoming story for any who might be interested in Alayne and her potato farmer :)

"I have no talent when it comes to poetry or pretty words.”

“On the contrary, I found your words at the church most comforting to my nerves.”

“I reckoned you were nervous. I couldn’t blame you none. I was, too.”

“We were in the same boat then.” They share a smile. “And, I wasn’t looking for poetry in an advertisement. It was an honest post though. I had read stories of frauds and cheats luring girls out west to uncertain fates. Men who would promise a good home and not have two dimes to rub together or who might even already be wed.”

“I had read of such things as well,” he says, nodding before he starts grinning. “I read one account of a young lady from Kentucky who traveled to Indiana to meet her fiancé and then changed her mind when she saw he had red hair. She promptly took the next train back home again.”  He looks quite serious the next moment. "I sure hope you don't want to catch the next train back east already, Miss Stone."

Sansa smothers her giggles with her napkin over his wry teasing and shakes her head.  Part of her feels sorry for the poor man in the story though...and part of her wonders if Jon Snow has any objections to red hair. She doesn’t know that she can go on dying it forever if they’re not to live close to town.

And the hair on your head may be dyed but elsewhere…

She feels herself blushing at the thought of him discovering that. She’ll keep her nightgown on when they go to bed.

When she dares look him in the eye again, he’s watching her, his dark eyes nearly searing. “You sure are pretty, Alayne. Prettier than I’d even dared think you might be..."

200 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 17:29:58 GMT

#1

🤡 me: “The next chapter is practically written!”

*narrator’s voice* It was in fact just some vague images, horny thoughts and lines of dialogue in her head.

623 notes • Posted 2021-10-10 13:32:10 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[adminbryantsaki]

ASK EVENT Open until July 31st

Hello people. I am just throwing this event out there to help bring more activity to my blog. I will be giving a list of prompts that you can pick from. Here is the list of my rules and characters I will write for. this event will be open for a month. It will be closed after July 31st

Most of the prompts are NSFW. So minors don't interact. There can be multiples of the same prompt. That's ok. Combos of prompts are ok too.

Prompts:

1. "Don't make me take you home and punish you."

2. "I never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly."

3. "You're not going out in that outfit."

4. "Don't give me that look."

5. "You're more than a one-night stand."

6. "Would you just shut up and kiss me already?"

7. "You want me to give you your book/phone/ item back? Make me."

8. "Like what you see?"

9. "Try to stay quiet, understand?"

10. "We're in public, you know?"

11. "I didn't know you were so sensitive."

12. "Don't be so brought, there can't be any marks."

13. "I really don't care. You still look hot and I'm trying to kiss/fuck you senseless right now."

14. "Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop."

15. "No, I'm supposed to be making you feel good."

16. "Make me."

17. "Stop teasing me so much."

18. "You're in trouble now."

19. "Take off your clothes."

20. "I'm waiting."

21. "First one to make a noise loses."

22. "Mine."

23. "We can't do that here!"

24. "Behave."

25. "What did you just say?"

26. "Come here."

27. "Watch me."

28. "I don't want to hear your excuses anymore."

29. "If you can't sleep... then how about we have sex?"

30. "Put that thing away!"

31. "Don't kink shame me." (Add what kink you want the character to have please.)

32. "If you interrupt me one more time, so help me God."

33. "I'm going to put clothes on before you say anything else."

34. "Tell me what you want."

35. "Bite me."

36. "If you insist."

37. "Could he make you feel as good as I do?"

38. "You're n-not, um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?"

39. "Are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?"

40. "You fucking taste like candy."

41. "The only way you're getting off is on my thigh."

42. "You make a sound and it's game over."

43. "Just let me finish this/ this level and I swear I will go down on you until you cum three times."

44. "If I have to stop what I'm doing, you won't be able to walk for the next week."

45. "I could just push your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice."

46. "I haven't even touched you and you're already this wet."

47. "Were you just masturbating?"

48. "U-uh...no, I was just..."

49. "Want some help?"

50. "Shut up."

51. "Why don't you come over here and make me."

52. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad."

53. "We're not just friends and you fucking know it."

54. "C'mere, you can sit on my lap until I'm done working."

55. "What? Does that feel good?"

56. "I'm not jealous! It's just... You're mine!"

57. "If we get caught, I'm blaming you."

58. "We have to be quiet."

59. " Tell me again."

60. "You have no idea how much I want you."

61. "Say it." ( This is another 'choose the kink' option)

62. "If you don't like my teasing, then why are you moaning?"

63. "Wow, I didn't realize you were that... flexible."

64. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you even met that asshole."

65. "You better shut that pretty little mouth before I put it to work, love."

66. "I think that's the first time I've heard you moan... It was like a fucking melody."

67. "I really want to kiss you right now."

68. "Then do it."

69. "You're not taking me to bed, ever."

70. "Who said it had to be on the bed."

71. "She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind closed doors, she's latex and whips."

72. "Ah, he's playing hard to get. That's cute."

73. "For the love of fuck."

74. "Yep, that's me. I love to fuck."

75. "How do I look?"

76. "Would you reconsider if I was sober?"

77. "I'm sure I can get some kind of sexual gratification just from staring at him if I try hard enough."

78. "Don't fucking touch what isn't yours."

79. "You don't need to cover up the bruises/hickeys."

80. "I'm not sure if it's a sexual thing or not."

81. "We're.......Just friends."

82. "Friends don't do this kind of shit!"

83. "How quickly can you cum?"

84. "There's people here."

85. "I know."

86. "I don't care what you do, just fuck me."

87. "Fuck you."

88. "I'm up for it if you are."

89. "Don't ruin the sofa."

90. "I'll just have to cum inside you then."

91. "Stop dancing like that of I'm going to cum my pants."

92. "I'm not going to touch you unless you beg."

93. "You can't tease me like that and expect not to be punished."

94. "I'm gonna strangle you."

95. "Is that a promise?"

96. "You look a bit tied you, want me to come back later?"

97. "Stop distracting me."

98. "Were you touching yourself?"

99. "I know their stuffed animals but doesn't it feel weird? It's like they're watching us."

100. "That's probably the faster I've ever done that."

101. "Please, remind me again why we're having sex behind a tree."

102. "I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that."

103. "We've been at it like rabbits, How are you still horny?" (ABO ish ask)

104. "It was so worth the injury though!?

105. "Saddle up, love."

106. "Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? 'Cause If you did, we're having sex. Right not."

107. "Your ass is going to be seven different shades of red after that little stunt."

108. "God dammit, now all i can think about is you licking my cock like that ice cream cone."

109. "If I have to pull over, you won't be able to walk for the next week."

110. "Do you think they can hear us through the tent?"

111. "Yes we can."

112. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?"

Tagging: @i-panic-at-the-disco

[padfootagain]

I can't believe there are so many of you now!! Thank you all so much for your support!!

I hit that milestone a couple of months ago but my mental health has been chaotic these past few months and depression has really been hard on me, so I couldn't celebrate when I hit the milestone.

I'm feeling a little better now though, and I reckon it's time to thank you all in a proper manner!

This event also has as a purpose to help me ease my way back into writing after such a hard time for me, so please, be kind to me if it takes me a while to post your request or if I don't answer all the prompts sent my way. I'm doing my best :)

 That being said, let's get to the actual event… a prompt list!!

 Carole, what are you talking about?

 Under the cut, you'll find a list of prompts. You can request up to 3 prompts in the list with a character or ship I write for of your choice and I will write a little drabble/ short one-shot using the prompts you've chosen for the character you want!

 A few rules if you want to send in a request!

 -Please, send in your request through my askbox, it's easier for me to keep track that way rather than to track down pms.

-You can send a request on or off anon, so if you're shy, don't worry, and just switch to anon :)

-You can send in a request for any character or ship on my masterlist except for Billy Russo and Regulus Black.

-You can choose between 1 and 3 prompts for your request from the list below the cut.

-A little politeness goes a long way, so please, say hello when you make your request :)

-I will be keeping the unanswered requests in my askbox, so if you want to make sure I've received your request, you can ask me in another ask or via pm and I'll tell you if I've received your request or not (after all… we all know how troubled tumblr can be).

 When will the event take place?

 Depending on the number of requests I receive, I might change the date for closing the event, but the plan is for the requests for this event to be open from today up to Friday, which means from April 20 to April 23 2021.

I will then answer the requests in the coming weeks.

 I hope all of you enjoy the event, and that many of you will participate! Thank you again for your support, and I wish all of you a lovely day/evening!! :D

Prompt list!!

 1. "You little shit…"

2. "Don't worry, it's just a scratch… OUCH!"

3. "You're stealing all the blanket!"

4. "Now… drop that…. Or else…"

5. "You're so annoying. How did I fall in love with you in the first place?"

6. "So… are we gonna address the fact that you've just snogged me or…?"

7. "What do you mean you don't like me? We're MARRIED!"

8. "If you don't stop this, I will slit your throat."

9. "You're kinda hot when you're mad, not gonna lie…"

10. "You're driving me crazy. But I love it."

11. "Maybe I… kinda like you. A lot."

12. "You've got something on your cheek… right… hang on, let me…"

13. "All I want tonight is to get in bed with you, cuddle you, and fall asleep while we're watching some stupid Netflix show and you're holding me close."

14. "You're such a softie, you know that?"

15. "I can't help it! You're so warm, how can I not hold you all the time?"

16. "So… Uhm… that was a… a hell of a kiss…"

17. "Ghosts aren't real, it's just the wind. Wait… what was that?"

18. "We shouldn't have watched that scary show. Now, I'm forced to stay against you cause I'm scared. No, it is not an excuse for sex so get your filthy mind out of the gutter."

19. "The whole world doesn't revolve around you, you know? It just so happens that I like you enough to make my world revolve around you, that's all."

20. "I… Is he/she your boyfriend/girlfriend?"

21. "I… There's something I need to tell you. I should have done so a long time ago."

22. "You're so stupid. I love you."

23. "I have many regrets. Not telling you this is the biggest of them all."

24. "I just thought… we could… maybe… be more than friends?"

25. "I like you… Maybe… maybe I even love you… a little bit…"

26. "I'm the luckiest though. I have you."

27. "I'd share anything with you, and you know that. Except my cookies. Cookies are off limit."

28. "I love you more than anything in this world."

29. "I'm not staring! Just… enjoying the view…"

30. "Waking up next to you every morning is my favourite thing in the world."

31. "You… you've made me breakfast?"

32. "Are you jealous?"

33. "So… that's your ex, huh?"

34. "Don't leave me. Please, not now, not ever. I love you too much for that."

35. "Well, maybe the night itself isn't perfect, but to me it is as close as it will ever be. I have you, after all."

36. "I've missed you so much!"

37. "Hold my hand."

38. "Kissy, please?"

39. "I'm pregnant."

40. "I want to marry you."

41. "You're so romantic, such a big softie!"

42. "Close your eyes, I've got a surprise for you."

43. "Wait… are these plane tickets?"

44. "Where are you going?"

45. "You're gross. You're lucky I love you."

46. "Oh dear, you're such a moron. Kiss me."

47. "Is that my shirt you're wearing?"

48. "Happy Anniversary, my love."

49. "You've done all this… for me?"

50. "I don't know what I'd do without you…"

51. "Amazing teamwork over there!"

52. "I don't care what others say, I love you, it's all that matters to me."

53. "Let me take care of you."

54. "I'll love you so well, if you let me."

55. "I've dreamt of you last night."

56. "I'm planning our trip, that's what I'm doing!"

57. "I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with you."

58. "Is it really a good idea?"

59. "Yeah… alright, I'm jealous. What about it? Can't I be jealous if I want to?"

60. "Look… this… us… it could never work. Could it?"

61. "I hate being away from you."

62. "Things will be better, you'll see."

63. "I'll always be here for you."

64. "Thank you, for being here. For always being here."

65. "This hiding spot… it's really… small…"

66. "This is too dangerous!"

67. "Be careful."

68. "Hey, don't cry. I'm here."

69. "I can't help it. I'm sorry. I love you, and there's nothing I can do about it."

70. "When I make a wish, it's always the same. I always wish for you."

[jaxsteamblog]

Disguised

Click here to read the entire fic on AO3

Being woken up in the middle of the night was never ideal. But for both Zuko and Katara, with their backgrounds, the heavy thumping immediately put them in fight or flight mode. With the only light coming from Zuko’s fire daggers, Katara was disoriented and tried to steady herself. She was indoors and a voice was calling for the Fire Lord.

None of that helped her figure out if she was safe.

“It’s for me.” Zuko whispered, dissipating his weapons and turning on their bedside lamp.

Pulling on her robe, Katara stood at the bed while Zuko answered the door.

“Apologies Fire Lord, but we caught a thief in one of the gardens. She says your mother sent her.” A man in the hall said.

“My mother?” Zuko repeated.

“She said her name is Kiyi.” The man added.

That woke Katara up.

“What are you doing here?” Zuko hissed.

Kiyi sat in the armchair, her arms crossed tight over her chest. She glowered angrily at the floor as Zuko paced back and forth in front of her.

“You haven’t replied to any of the letters and it’s not like I can pick up the phone and call the freaking Fire Lord.” Kiyi stated.

“But why are you here?” Zuko asked.

“You’re my brother aren’t you?” Kiyi retorted, turning her glower up at him.

Zuko froze and Katara sat down on the couch opposite them.

“They told you?” Zuko asked.

“Told me?” Kiyi laughed bitterly. “We live in a hut. They couldn’t really keep it a secret.”

“That was all months ago, why now?”

“Mom went back to the lakes. She got her memory back.”

“And?”

“And?” Kiyi sputtered and her cheeks flushed. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I wanted her to not have forgotten me or my sister in the first place.” Zuko snapped.

“Don’t you think I might know how that feels? I found out that my parents were other people in disguise and lied to me my entire life.” Kiyi rubbed her eyes vigorously and huffed. “My dad let me hero worship the Fire Lord instead of telling me that I’m his half-sister.”

“So you want to join my family now? Is that it?” Zuko’s voice dripped with venom and Kiyi flinched.

“Zuko.” Katara warned. “She’s upset.”

“And I’m pissed.” Zuko said, still watching Kiyi.

“I just want a family. But right now I only have fakes.” Kiyi said, her voice wobbling as more tears came.

Zuko shook his head and walked to the couch, sitting next to Katara and leaning forward. He held his head in his hands and focused on his breathing.

“I looked up mom online. I saw what she did and so some of it makes sense. Like dad with his face. But it wasn’t just their faces, it became everything. Like they realized they could pretend nothing happened.” Kiyi explained. “I don’t want to be the Fire Lord’s sister or anything. But I am your sister and I just want… I want something real.”

“I have a sister.” Zuko said.

“I didn’t ask to be Ursa’s daughter.” Kiyi shot back. “I wasn’t the one that made her forget you.”

“You are not Ursa’s daughter!” Zuko shouted, sitting up. “You are Noriko’s and part of the problem is you don’t understand the difference.”

“Yes I do!” Kiyi cried. “I’m the bastard child of a murderer!”

Zuko fell back in his seat and Katara turned to press her knee against his. Kiyi pulled her legs up, resting her feet on the seat cushion so she could hide her face to cry.

She was just a teenager.

“Zuko, she’s hurting.” Katara said softly.

“Aren’t we all?” Zuko replied, laying his head on the back of the couch. He rubbed his face with both hands, sighing.

“Ursa didn’t send you here.” He said, letting his arms fall to his sides.

“No.” Kiyi sniffed.

“But they’ll figure it out where you went.”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you here, Kiyi?”

“I missed you.” Kiyi sounded so small. “You stopped coming around and then I found out why and I knew you hated me. But I didn’t hate you.”

Zuko sat up and looked at her.

“I don’t hate you, Kiyi.” He said softly.

“But you hate mom.” Kiyi said.

Zuko opened his mouth but nothing came out. When Kiyi looked up at him, he nodded.

“Yeah, I do.” He admitted.

Kiyi sighed and lowered her legs.

“Mom cried for days when she got her memories back. She kept calling out for Azula and dad actually got rid of our computer so she couldn’t look anything up. But I searched everything at school. No one talked about your Agni Kai but I found a video. I saw what happened and I knew mom made the right decision to leave. But I didn’t know why she didn’t take you with her.” She explained. “I don’t know why she left you both behind.”

“It was too dangerous. Ozai would have hunted her-”

“He did. That’s why she had to change her face. She got lucky.” Kiyi shook her head. “You two could’ve been changed too.”

“Ah.” Zuko said and Katara touched his leg.

“Then we wouldn’t have met.” Katara said.

“I know.” Zuko said softly, sadly.

“You got lucky.” Kiyi said.

Zuko and Katara looked at her.

“It’s not like you had to go through all of that just to be here. If our parents were less terrible, who knows?” Kiyi clarified. “I’m glad I was born, and I’m glad you have this now, but that doesn’t make what they did okay.”

Kiyi sniffed as she started crying again.

“They all want to pretend that the ends justify the means but this whole thing sucks.” She added.

Zuko chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I missed you too, Kiyi. I had thought of you as my little sister before I found out you actually were.” He said.

Kiyi stared at him and started crying hard. Panicked, Zuko looked at Katara and she pushed at him. Zuko stood and went over to Kiyi, crouching next to the chair and awkwardly hugging her shoulders. Kiyi turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry!” Kiyi sputtered and Zuko patted her back.

“It’s not your fault.” He murmured. “Ssssh, it’s okay.”

When Kiyi cried herself out, Zuko held her hand and escorted her to one of the guest bedrooms. Still fully clothed, Kiyi buried herself under the blankets and immediately fell asleep. Standing in the doorway, Zuko and Katara stared at the lump on the bed.

“Sometimes I ask myself if all this is worth my mother’s death. Or if I’d give up everything to get her back.” Katara said suddenly.

Zuko startled and pressed his back into the doorframe.

“Then I remember that that’s not how any of this works. Nothing in life is truly transactional.” Katara said. “There is no fate, no destiny. There is only moment after moment, with some cause and effect sprinkled in.”

“So random happenstance is disguised as a glorious purpose?” Zuko asked. “Doesn’t that make everything meaningless?”

Katara turned and smiled at him.

“You mean an awful lot to me. Moment after moment, until my time runs out.” She said.

“Which means I’ll never be able to prove how wrong you are. Our love is a story for the ages.” Zuko said.

Katara laughed and tapped his chest.

“Let’s go back to bed.” She said. “We can deal with Kiyi in the morning.”

Zuko smiled back at her and slowly shut the door.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62

[joyseuphoria]

She hated how much she liked him now

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!

The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!

You can read it here or on ao3

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 16:00)

Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up

Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?

Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will

Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh

jamie finally asked lily on a date

Peter Pettigrew: Wait what

Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej

when 

how 

tell me everything 

Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date

voila 

Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black

or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 

Sirius Black: empty threats

if u really wanna know u can go ask em

(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)

Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 

_____________

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 17:00)

Jamie Potter: good riddance 

thx marls 

Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon

now spill 

Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)

Lily Evans: that she does;)

Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl

(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)

Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 

Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy

I didn't like it

Jamie Potter:.........thx??

Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie

_________

THE CURLY SQUAD 

(Tuesday 17:34)

Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!

__________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Wednesday 16:30)

Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?

Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)

Mary Macdonald: hell yeah

Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc

Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius

tho ik its a foreign concept to you

Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously

And of course I wanna spy on them

Remus Lupin: but still...yes

Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds

YAAY

Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 

Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??

Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up

Remus Lupin: how did u know that?

Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno

Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 

Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?

Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them

Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd

Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you

I’m her best friend

Sirius Black: prove it

Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!

Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)

Marlene Mckinnon: shit

Mary Macdonald: …...fair

___________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:45)

Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 

Lily Evans: ik u cant 

Jamie Potter: 

Lily Evans: <3

;)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 

(Thursday 19:48)

Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 

lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!

what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!

(Message read at 19:49)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:51)

Jamie Potter: :D

_______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Friday 16:30)

Jamie Potter: u ready?

Lily Evans: yes ! 

wher r u

Jamie Potter: cool

just reached ur door

______________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:30)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 

its only me and marlene here

Mary Macdonald: just outta class 

be there in 10

Remus Lupin: home

Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream

Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?

Remus Lupin: me too pls pete

Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too

mint chocolate chip for me pls

Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??

Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!

Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc

Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!

also charcoal ice cream pls

just as black as my soul

Peter Pettigrew : ...k

U marls??

Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:45)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?

theyll b here any sec

Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here

except for u and marlene

where tf r u guys?!!???

Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 

where tf r u guys????

Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here

Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?

Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 

Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!

Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?

why?

Sirius Black: to dress up ofc

Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?

lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this

and v cant afford that!!!!

Remus Lupin: that is smart….

didnt expect it from u both

Sirius Black: fuck you remus

fuck you

Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??

Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 

a gily suit

a moon suit

rat whiskers and ears

a tree hat and glasses

and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend

Dorcas Meadowes: ………….

Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw

Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here

 Sirius Black: remy how could u

Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 

i thought u loved me

Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?

Remus Lupin: also sirius 

do u really think that we can pull it off?

itd be tooo obvious 

Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them

Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened

do you think that theyll realise that its us???????

Remus Lupin: …...point

Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 

marls gonna wear the gily suit

the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 

Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 

and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:55)

Sirius Black: ok now positions!

marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 

nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside

Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???

Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously

Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 

Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??

Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 

ever heard of privacy?

Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?

Sirius Black: thank u dorcas

Mary Macdonald: yeah!

exactly 

Remus Lupin: …………

i give up 

Peter Pettigrew: Just now?

Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/

Sirius Black: that was a good laugh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:04)

Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 

Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together

Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!

Sirius Black: yes

and yes they look perfect 

our ship is finally sailing 

Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose

Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus

Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more

Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?

Sirius Black: lolol

the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks

Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills

Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????

im ur girlfriend!!!

Mary Macdonald: lolololol

she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol

Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same

i thought she had more sense than that

Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know

Sirius Black: u would know

Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!

neat

Mary Macdonald: lily did it too

Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 

Remus Lupin: ya think?

u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie

Sirius Black: nah she didnt 

if anything lily hates how much she likes her now

Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?

Sirius Black: yeah ig

jamie wants it to be all fancy

Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup

Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup

Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em

Thought she wouldn’t today

At least

Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one

Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol

Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 

Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome

Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!

and including taylor’s song

shehgeueytoaknd

Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 

Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months

:/

Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it

Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it

Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 

Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other

Sirius Black: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here

Sirius Black: spinach soup???

ewww jamie 

Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig

Awesome choice 

Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things

smh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:16)

Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?

we ordered a lasagna 

Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 

ohhh look 

Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY

Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??

Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no

Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute

Remus Lupin: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date

Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 

Remus Lupin: or come here with us

Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then

Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah

It was quite a rough time for her

Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss

I have a question 

Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?

I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much

Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete

Sirius Black: LOLOLOL

Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 

Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so

None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 

Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi

u r ace

dorcas nd mary r pans

remus is gay

jamie is lesbian 

Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 

u already knew that but still

Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 

Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow

Ok

Thanks guys 

Sirius Black: np pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!

Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect

Sirius Black: nauseating more like

Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off

Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily

even first fits in the category 

Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!

Bold

Sirius Black: is that…...snep

Remus Lupin: snep?????

Dorcas Meadowes: Where

Sirius Black: behind u guys

Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK

Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date

Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….

Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit

Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright

Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig

Mary Macdonald: yup hes in

Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD

COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!

Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/

Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon

Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf

Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?

Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?

Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant

oh we r playing call remus wrong names 

sry I didnt realise

 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do

Sirius Black: LAMES

Remus Lupin: but i had to lol

i think v should go stop him from disturbing them

Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way

its too late

Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them

Sirius Black: ill tackle him 

Marlene McKinnon: perfect

Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too

not that im worried abt that

tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 

Sirius Black: v shld go

Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves

But ok!

Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 

Sirius Black: but im their best friend

Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking

Sirius Black: NOOOOOO

Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name

Sirius Black: seems that way

if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it

Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….

Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know

Sirius Black: ok im gonna go

Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??

Sirius Black: lol yes

Marlene Mckinnon: is he

is he pointing over to us

Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us

Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?

Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid

_________

“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 

“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 

“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 

Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”

“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 

“Marlene,” Lily warned. 

“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 

“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.

“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.

“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 

Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 

“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 

“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”

“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”

“Lily, please.”

Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 

 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 

Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 

“I...“ Lily began.

“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”

“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 

“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 

“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 

“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 

The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 

“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 

Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.

“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”

“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 

Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 

“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”

“So we would be incognito, Mary”

“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.

“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 

“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 

“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 

“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 

“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 

“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 

“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 

“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 

[ikleesfiction]

Will you follow through if I fall for you?

Fandom : One Chicago Word count : 3,762 words Disclaimer

Previously on this fic : Part 1 🞂 Part 2 🞂 Part 3 🞂 Part 4 🞂 Part 5 🞂 Part 6 🞂 Part 7 🞂 Part 8 🞂 Part 9

Part 10

It's been almost 6 months since you left Chicago. You spent those months working yourself to the bones as a way to forget Jay. It certainly was not a successful attempt, but at least you were too busy to think about him. You accepted Alex's idea to make a duo project and lazily named it "alex&y/n". You both started doing gigs at various clubs around the world. Pyramid, Alex's record company where you work for, continuously releases new sounds that you discovered. You keep writing and producing songs after songs. Really, your career is flourished. But deep inside, you're empty.

You never had a chance to go back to Chicago. Part of you was relieved that you don't have to deal with it yet. The other part of you was missing it so much. You might only stay four months in Chicago, but somehow the city (and its people) have marked their place in your heart.

You love Amsterdam. It's still your home, but its charm hasn't called you as it did before. Sure, you have your parents here. But you only got to meet them twice a week at best. Your work and their jobs don't leave lots of time to be together. Also, even though you have most of your friends in the city, you don't get to hang out with them all the time since you travel a lot for work. You get to make new friends along the way instead, just like you did in Chicago.

Case in point, you are currently in Norway, working on a song with Oliver Dahl, the number #1 DJ in the country.

Oliver's home studio is one of the best places you ever work in. The studio setup is practically the same as the one Pyramid has. But Oliver has a baby grand piano on one corner where through the window, you can see a tranquil lake with a green forest on its side. The view is calming and inspiring. So although Oliver is a much better pianist than you, you park yourself there and relegate him to a Korg keyboard.

"Hey, it's almost dinner time. Let's take a break," Oliver suggests to you. He guides you out from the studio and moves downstairs to his kitchen. The glass-paneled dining room has a door that leads to the back porch. You thought the view from the studio was great, but the view from down here is even better. You sit on a swing at the porch, take a deep breath of fresh air there.

Oliver comes out with two bottles of beer and hands you one, which you gladly accept. You switch your phone back on since you didn't want to be disturbed when you were working. It relentlessly buzzes once it's on. "Well, somebody is famous," teases Oliver.

You peek at your phone screen before grimacing at him, "Sorry. Nick needs something. I gotta call him back." You walk a few steps away from the porch. Without the roof over your head, you can feel slight drops of rain on your face. "Hey, boss. How's the meeting in Brussels go?"

"Infuriatingly slow. That is why I'm calling. I was hoping you can help us," Nick replies. He didn't sound too worried, so you thought it's going to be an easy request, "Sure. What is it?"

"Alex was supposed to have a phone interview with one of Chicago radio show, to talk about the new single of alex&y/n. Since our meeting here runs longer, could you do it in his stead? I know you don't like doing an unprepared interview, but I promise it won't be long, 15 minutes max."

"Alright, I'll do that." It's not like you can say no anyway.

"Great! I'll set it up. It's going to be in an hour. So don't mute your phone." Nick reminds you.

"I won't. It probably falls during our dinner here. I can keep my phone on."

"Thanks, y/n," Nick hangs up the call.

◢◤

Joe Cruz walks into the common-room of Firehouse 51 with his phone on hand. "Guys, Chicago Top 40 is interviewing Y/N right now!"

"Turn the volume up. I cannot hear it from here," Mouch complains from the couch as he mutes the tv. Joe pushes the side button of his phone and sets the volume to the max. Everyone continues doing their things quietly as they listen to the interview.

"We got one half of alex&y/n on the phone with us here. Dare I say the prettier half. Let's say hi to Y/N!" They hear the radio host cheers from Joe's phone.

"Hi, how are you doing?" you chuckle and greet back.

"We're all good here, thank you. So please tell us more about the latest single of alex&y/n? How did you guys come up with it?"

"We started writing this song probably about 8 months ago. I was in Chicago at the time actually," you start to explain.

"Oh, really? I didn't know you were in town," the host shortly interrupts.

"Yeah, it was back before we had any idea for this project. Alex came up with it when we made this song. It was supposed to be the first single of alex&y/n. But when I came back to Amsterdam, we wrote "Void" The team decided that it fitted better as the first single. Hence this song "Fiery Love" got pushed to be the second one."

The conversation regarding the song and the duo project goes on for another ten minutes before the interviewer wraps it up. Joe is about to close the radio app when he sees Jay Halstead and Hailey Upton step into the common-room of Firehouse 51.

"Enjoy the rest of your day, Y/N," says the host on air. "What time is it anyway in your place right now? I haven't got a chance to ask where you are,"

Joe's thumb stills above his phone screen. "It's almost 7 PM in Bergen, Norway," you inform the radio. Jay stiffens as he hears your voice.

"Oh, you got a gig there tonight?" the host asks curiously.

"No. Just a bit writing and studio session," you answer vaguely.

"It must've been in a studio with a view, unlike our four wall booth here," the host retorts.

You snicker quietly, "If I could, I'd trade you in a heartbeat,"

"Oh, stop it! You're too kind," the host says, thinking you're jesting.

You let out a tiny laugh, "But no, I'm serious. I wish I didn't leave Chicago," you admit candidly on air. Totally unbeknownst to the strained atmosphere in the Firehouse 51 common-room.

"Come visit soon. We'll show you our fancy dig here," the radio host returns jokingly. Joe finally decides to close the radio app, as Matt Casey addresses their guests. "Detectives, how can we help you?"

Jay looks at his partner, neglecting the fact that everyone in the room is watching him, "Can you handle this by yourself? I.. I think I left my phone in the car," Hailey is sure that Jay didn't leave his phone, but she gives him an understanding nod.

"We need to see Chief Boden," Hailey answers Matt. He then guides her to the Chief's office. When both detectives are out of range, Hermann asks the room, "It was a bit awkward, wasn't it?" Everyone ignores Hermann's comment and back doing things they did before. Kelly Severide determinedly stands up from his seat and goes outside. He finds Jay standing in front of the squad truck.

"Hey, man," Kelly greets him. Jay just nods to acknowledge him. After a few moments of silence, Kelly breaks first, "She always asks about you whenever she calls."

Jay scoffs his disbelief, "Yeah, right."

"She is not a brave girl, Jay. But she really loves you. She still regrets hurting you." Kelly tells him. Jay stays silent, taking in Kelly's words. "I don't think she's doing well out there." Kelly continues. Jay glances at him before opening his mouth to say something. But at the same time, Hailey comes out with Matt. "Let's go," she tells Jay. He nods at Matt and leaves with her without saying anything.

As both detectives walk away, Kelly shouts to Jay, "Will you pick up? If she calls you?"

Jay halts and looks over his shoulder. Not sure what to answer, he just shrugs in response.

◢◤

The following week, you find yourself working alone in Alex's studio. You go through some demos, try to find a song that you'd like to work on. The door is suddenly opened and reveals Alex and Nick coming in.

"You planning on going home tonight?" Alex says as he hands you a mug of hot tea. It's not unusual for you to stay all night working. While it was beneficial for the company, your well being is still his priority.

"Maybe," you just shrug as you accept the mug. "Thanks. So what's up?"

"I got an offer for alex&y/n gig for an EDM festival," Nick starts. "What do you think about it?"

"Cool, I guess.." you answer indifferently.

"Yeah?" Alex tries to reconfirm your agreement. You never play a festival before, so far alex&y/n only do club gigs. Even though you're basically doing the same thing, the stage and crowd size sometimes could be overwhelming, especially for someone who doesn't like to perform live.

"Uhuh," you nod before sipping your tea.

"Don't you wanna know where it will be?" Nick pushes.

"No," you say in disinterest, already looking back at your laptop. Nick raises his eyebrow questioningly towards Alex, which he answers with a subtle nod. "Alright then, I'm gonna go home now. You two get some rest. We'll talk again tomorrow," Nick informs you before leaving the room.

Alex drags a chair and sits next to you. "Talk to me. Please"

"There's nothing to talk about," you reply to your cup. Alex nudges you. Once. Twice. Thrice. "Stop it!" you scold him as you roll your chair away.

"You know I can do this all night until you talk to me," Alex says as he slides closer to you.

You exhale loudly in defeat before quietly tell him, "It's just... I'm exhausted."

Somehow he knows that you're not only talking about your body. "I'll talk to Nick. We can cancel the rest of alex&y/n gigs,"

"You know we can't," you rebuff his idea.

"We might be able to do that if I offer to take them instead?" Alex offers a solution.

"And let you be the one who burnout? Hell no," you deny his suggestion. You tiredly rub your face with your palm, "It's alright, Lex. I should have just suck it up and do it,"

Both of you stay silent for a moment. You pick your tea mug from the table when Alex unsurely speaks again, "That gig Nick talked about is in Chicago," You freeze up until Alex prods you, "Still wanna do it?"

"What do you think?" you weakly ask for his opinion.

"I think we should do it. It'd be fun. We can try to arrange a few days off. You can take me to your favorite places in Chicago, meet your friends.." Alex tells you. It sounds nice, makes you want to say yes. But you still have doubt in the back of your mind. "It's been months, y/n. Time for you to face it. Face Jay." Alex continues as if he knows your thought.

"I can't!" you shake your head in resign. "And why is that?" Alex pushes further.

"Because I still love him!" you forcefully drop your mug on the table, the tea splashes out of it.

"Then tell that to Jay! Don't make the same mistake as you did before!" Alex yells back at you. You instantly feel like you've been slapped.

Avoiding Alex's stare, you start to pack up your things from the table. "I think I need to go home now. Don't think I can work on anything tonight." You grab your jacket and hastily walked out of the studio.

A couple hours later, Alex comes by to your place with a canvas bag on his shoulder, "I got a box of chocolate and a six-pack of La Trappe Tripel here,"

"I don't think they can help me feel better this time," you quip as you open the door for him. Alex pulls the beers and chocolate out from the bag and puts them on the coffee table in front of the couch. He reaches again to the bag, "Don't worry, I come prepared. Got jenever in here too," He sets the bottle next to the chocolate. You go to the kitchen and bring out two clean glasses.

"Are we starting right away?" Alex asks you in confusion.

"Are you waiting for something else?" you start to open one of the beer bottles.

"Don't you want to eat dinner first? Or maybe have bitterballen to snack on?" Alex suggests to you. You open the chocolate box and pop one candy into your mouth. "There, I ate something," you declare sarcastically before sipping the beer in your hand.

"Okay then," Alex accepts his defeat. He goes to your kitchen and sees what you have on your fridge. "You don't mind if I finish this leftover stew, right?" he hollers at you as he puts the container in the microwave.

You snort your answer, "Go ahead. It's not like you need permission to raid my pantry anyway,"

Alex comes back with a bowl of stew and sits next to you on the couch. You fiddle with your phone for a bit before a ballad song playing on your home speaker. Alex starts to talk about various things as he eats, updating you about his sister Sara, his meeting in Belgium. He even lets you know what he had for lunch today. He keeps talking because he knows you're not gonna say anything.

Alex cracks open his second beer while you finish your third one and start to pour the gin into your glass. "I'll Be Over You" by Toto is playing on your speaker. Alex exasperatedly rolls his eyes, thinking that his best friend could really be dramatic sometimes. You sprawl on the couch with your feet on top of Alex's lap. "What if he's moved on?" you say after long contemplation, ready to tackle more serious conversation. "Ready" as in drunk enough to talk about it.

"Well, you face that with head held high and moved on too," Alex replies. "Easier said than done, I know."

"Big chance he doesn't want to see me anyway," you mutter to yourself. But Alex still answers you, "Maybe. Maybe not. You'll never know without going there,"

◢◤

It's been 7 months since you left Chicago and Jay Halstead still kept your last voicemail on his phone. Even when he's so mad at you, Jay never had the heart to delete it. Because somewhere deep inside, he could hear your sincerity. Jay is desperate to believe that you honestly love him and care about him.

Before Severide approached him the other day, nobody ever talked to Jay about his ex-girlfriend. Jay never apologized for pushing Adam. His friends guessed that his relationship ended, but no one ever said anything about it. His brother always abruptly changed the radio whenever your song was played on-air, acting all annoyed. But he knows Will is secretly still a fan of your music, just not in front of Jay. He thinks they're all worried that talking about you would raise his temper. But the truth is Jay misses you.

After his anger passed by, Jay could understand your position. You were left alone, befriending strangers in some city that far from home. While Jay understood that you missed home, he's still disappointed over the fact that you didn't tell him sooner. But it already happened, you made your choice. Now Jay is left with a bruised heart and silently pined over his ex.

Jay is lost in his thoughts. He jolts in surprise when he feels something cold and wet on his cheek. Jay looks up to find Will, who hands him a glass of beer. "How is the game going? Anything interesting happens when I'm gone?" Will asks Jay as he sits and looks down to the ice rink. They are at the United Center arena, watching a Blackhawks game.

"Nah, you don't miss much," Jay tells his brother. "Thanks for taking me here, man."

"It's nothing. I want to do something for your birthday, but since I have to work double shifts tomorrow, we just have to celebrate early." Will raises his glass for a toast. The brothers shout wildly during the game, chant together with other spectators in the stadium, basically having a good time. When the game is on a break, Will and Jay trade a light banter between each other. The jumbotron above plays adverts that they ignore.

"This summer, coming back to the Soldier Field Arena. We proudly present, Spring Awakening Music Festival! Featuring..."

When they hear the ad's narrator mentions "alex&y/n" Jay spontaneously looks up at the jumbotron. There was a picture of you and Alex, standing back to back, staring hard through the camera. Even with the cold gaze and unsmiling face, Jay still thought you look good. The announcement was certainly a surprise. Jay remembered when you told him that you don't like to perform in front of crowds. Now here you are, headlining a big stage. Time's changed, he thinks to himself.

Jay keeps looking at the gigantic screen, even though now it's showing another ad. If anyone asks him, Jay cannot tell what this new ad is about. His mind is busy thinking about something/someone else. Will glances at his brother and notices the tightness of Jay's shoulders. "I won't come to see them, even if they give me free tickets," he remarks wittily. Jay burst out a laugh and elbow his brother, "Thanks, man." he is grateful for his brother's understanding.

◢◤

Jay wakes up late the next morning. He spent the night listening to your podcasts and fell asleep with your voice on his ears. Seeing you on the jumbotron made him missed you more. His phone battery was drained, his alarm didn't ring. It's only because of habits from his ranger days that he woke up and gets ready in time to go to work.

Just as he walks out of his place, a delivery man is stopping him. "I got a package for Jay Halstead?"

"Yeah, that's me," Jay says distractedly, trying to recall if he orders anything online. The guy hands him a bag and a receipt form. Jay skims the paper before signing it. On the shipper box, it is stated, "Belgian Chocolatier Piron, Inc." He returns the signed form to the courier. "Thank you. Have a nice day, Sir", chirps the man. Jay pauses slightly, looking at the bag, before running to his car once remembers that he's late for work.

Once Jay arrives at the district, he puts the suspicious package on his desk. He opens the bag cautiously and pulls out a golden cardboard box with a black bow tied around it. He digs deeper into the bag but finds nothing more, no notes or cards, just this golden box.

"You got a box of Piron?! Can I have one? Please?" Jay hears Kim Burgess squeals at him.

"What the hell is a Piron?" Adam Ruzek asks loudly from behind her. Kim starts to pull the bow, but Jay moves the box away quickly. "I don't even know who it's from. We should be careful. I'll send it to the lab.."

"Is that Piron?!" Hailey Upton shrieks as she steps closer to Jay's desk.

"What? You know about this Piron too?" Adam baffles even further.

"They are like one of the best chocolatiers in town." Hailey impatiently explains to Adam. "Is it yours, Jay?" She sounds rather demanding than asking.

"Yes, it's Jay's. And he wants to bring it to the forensic lab. Unbelievable..." Kim says disapprovingly.

"I don't even know who send it! Aren't you worried if it turns out to be a bomb or a deadly virus?" Jay tries to reason to his teammates, who are now circling around him.

"What bomb?" They all jump in surprise when they hear Voight from behind them.

"Ah, it's nothing, Sarge. There are no bombs anywhere. At least not in the city of Chicago... Maybe..." Jay rambles.

"Are you gonna open that box, Halstead?" Voight cuts him off, pointing at the innocent box.

"I'm not sure, Sarge," Jay meekly admits. Voight pulls the black bow that was half undone because of Kim and opens the box gently. "Oh no, it's a bomb," Adam whispers as he hides behind Kevin Atwater but peeks over his shoulder. The girls are excitedly bouncing on their heels, seeing the rows of chocolate inside the box. Voight takes one and confidently bites into it. "You should never waste good chocolate. By the way, happy birthday, Jay." He pats Jay's shoulder before stepping toward his office. Jay gives Voight a small smile, though he still confounds about the situation.

Jay looks at the rest of the team. Hailey bites a candy on her right hand as she picks another with her left. Kim got half-bitten chocolate on her fingers. Her eyes were closed as she savors the taste. Adam's hand hovers above the box, cautiously looking at his teammates, "You girls feel okay? No dizziness, nausea, anything?" His questions were left unanswered since the girls were too busy munching.

Kevin offers Jay a handshake and continues with a quick hug, "Happy birthday, bro!" Jay clasps his shoulder, "Thanks, Kev,"

"So someone sent you this as a birthday gift, huh? Quite special, isn't it?" Kevin picks one candy from the box.

"I guess. If only I knew who sent it..." Jay wonders. He also takes one piece of chocolate and nibbles into it. The bittersweet taste suddenly reminds him of a particular someone. At the same time, his phone chirps on his desk. Jay checks his phone and finds a voice memo from an unknown, international number. He moves to a quieter place and listens to the message.

"Hi, Jay," Jay holds his breath, recognizing the voice on the other end. "It's me, y/n... I just want to wish you a happy birthday... Hope you enjoy the chocolate," He waits as you hesitate to continue. "Err... Stay safe, alright? I love you." As if just realizing what you've said, Jay hears you curse in panic, "oh shi.." and the message briskly ends.

Next on this fic : Part 11

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[ghaniblue]

I posted 395 times in 2021

58 posts created (15%)

337 posts reblogged (85%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.8 posts.

I added 483 tags in 2021

#fanart - 101 posts

#hp fanart - 95 posts

#drarry fanfic - 51 posts

#drarry fic - 40 posts

#acari writes - 36 posts

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#draco malfoy - 30 posts

#drarry microfic - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 67 characters

#but i also want someone else to take care of it so i don't have too

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

The Problem with Non-Euclidean Geometry

written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt Parallel. Thanks to @hbee and @mystisblom for telling me this made sense. | 1.2k of angst. Someone ban me from Wikipedia. | also on AO3

Two straight lines in a plane that do not intersect at any point are said to be parallel.

∥

'Malfoy heir disappeared without a trace!' the headline in the Prophet read. Draco leaned over Harry's shoulder and scoffed. "They really could've chosen a more flattering picture."

Draco reached for Harry's cup of tea like always but his fingers never touched the ceramic.

∥

Harry spread out the map on their kitchen table in Grimmauld Place. There were cross marks and scribbled circles all over the place.

"What about this one?" Draco asked, peering at a note that said 'talk to the proprietor'. "I don't remember visiting this store." Harry underlined something in his notebook about Trerice House in Kestell. So that was good, Harry was getting closer to fixing this. "Don't forget to look through my notes in the study. You know I write everything down. And talk to Hermione."

∥

"We should've come here together," Draco said, looking up the path that led toward the Zennor Quoit, at the green farmland and blooming purple heather. "It's quite lovely, don't you think?"

Draco turned around when Harry did not appear next to him. Hunched over his notebook, Harry had no eyes for the beauty of Cornwall in summer. Trerice House had not offered the answers they had hoped. If they had come here together, maybe Draco would not be in this mess. Or, maybe they'd both be stuck now. No, Draco admonished himself, Harry needed to stay unstuck. Draco was still learning to be less selfish. He was a work in progress, as he used to tell Harry all the time.

∥

Hermione, Ron and Harry had their heads bent together over Harry's notes. Now and then Hermione referenced something in a battered edition of Spellman's Syllabary. The kitchen table was covered in books, Muggle and Wizarding: The Thirteen Books of Euclid's Elements (Draco's), the latest of Lukas Karuzos' Arithmancy books (Hermione's), Ley Lines and Cream Tea, and Apparition and the Problem of Infinity (both Draco's). "What does parallel pros—postulate mean?" Ron asked, his face scrunched up.

Draco was pacing behind them; back and forth, back and forth. "I don't want to tell you how to do this," Draco declared—he was lying, of course; he was getting rather agitated about how long it took to fix this pickle he had found himself in—"but Euclid is not the answer." Nobody paid him any mind. Draco threw up his hands. "He is the problem! It's all in my notes, don't you see? Infinity! We need to find the horizon!" Nobody answered.

∥

Harry sat at their kitchen table with his notebook open in front of him. Now and then he consulted the map, made a note and went back to reading and re-reading his notebook. His eyes were bloodshot and his face had started disappearing underneath his beard sometime three months ago. He needed a haircut.

"It's alright, darling, go to sleep," Draco said. "I'm right here."

∥

Ron kept staggering against the wall. Harry might not look like much, but he weighed a ton. Especially when his own two feet were no help keeping him upright like now.

"I hate this," Draco complained, following them up the stairs. He could hear the sound of bottles being vanished by Hermione: clink-clink from the parlour and kitchen and back garden. Draco hoped she knew some teetotaler protection wards for the house. "I don't know how to help him," he confided to Ron.

∥

Molly bellowed for Charlie to hurry up and come downstairs and help put up the Christmas tree. "Take care of him for me?" Draco asked, but he already knew she would.

Hermione and Harry sat in front of the fireplace, his head on Hermione's shoulder. Draco settled down next to her. "You are the smartest person I know," he began, "so you already know he will not ask for anything. You have to promise me to make him ask for what he needs. Promise me." Hermione took Harry's hand and squeezed. "Good." Draco nodded. "That's decided then."

∥

Draco crouched on the ground next to Harry. It was a beautiful day for February in Wiltshire, with crisp clear air and a bright blue sky. It had even snowed last night. "I did not expect so many people to come, " Draco said, fingers tracing a particularly lovely wreath of camellia. "It was rather nice, all things considered."

Draco was lying. He never wanted to see Mother cry ever again.

∥

Draco's robes were laid out on the bed next to his shirts and waistcoats. "Maybe you could donate them," Hermione offered, her voice careful.

"Yes," Harry said, his fingers tracing the leaf pattern of an emerald-green waistcoat with silver thread. It was Draco's favourite. "Maybe." Draco did not look, he was resolutely staring out the window.

∥

Harry hugged Ron outside the Leaky. "That's brilliant. I'm so happy for you two." Draco watched Harry's face. It's been so long since he's seen Harry smile.

"Don't tell Hermione I blabbed." Ron laughed. "She'll kill me."

∥

It was just a blink, not even a look, really; but Draco's eyes followed the man weaving his way towards the bar anyway. He was tall, slender and blond. Draco looked at Harry who was frowning into his beer.

Draco swallowed hard. He could do this, for Harry he could be generous and selfless. "You're allowed," Draco whispered across the table, even though his insides felt all twisted up. "Darling, it's alright."

∥

Draco watched in fascination as the dark lines appeared on Harry's skin. Ron was with them, looking slightly queasy with the procedure but here nevertheless. Charlie ran his wand over Harry's wrist once more and muttered another spell. The air seemed to shimmer over the new tattoo before sinking like mist into the skin.

Silver grey ley lines bisected by parallel lines meeting at the horizon, one red one green.

∥

Harry lay curled up in their bed, on his side of the bed, with his glasses and a book which Draco had talked Harry into reading two years ago on the side table. The bookmark was perennially stuck at page 78. At the rate Harry was going, he would need infinity to finish it. That was alright with Draco. Draco had nothing but time now. Harry's brow was creased and he fidgeted like he couldn't get comfortable. He had always been a restless sleeper, twisting up the sheets or waking Draco up in the middle of the night with indistinct mutterings that sounded far too close to pleas.

Draco lay down next to Harry, on his side of the bed, and watched. Harry was clutching a pillow to his chest, Draco's pillow. Draco reached out a hand across the divide. "I miss you, too."

∥

Two straight lines in a plane that do not intersect at any point are said to be parallel. Why then do parallel lines meet at infinity?

108 notes • Posted 2021-06-16 15:29:15 GMT

#4

Curio

for the @drarrymicrofic prompt curiosity. Lovely beta by @m0srael. Bonus under the cut. :)

It was Draco's first time visiting the Burrow as Harry's boyfriend, and Harry was apprehensive. Just a tiny bit. "Oh, please," Draco scoffed, "I'm a delightful guest."

Draco sauntered past Harry and air-kissed Molly's cheeks. "Such a pleasure," he declared, before handing her a bottle of red wine with a name Harry could not pronounce. "Thank you for inviting me into your lovely home."

Before Molly could recover and form words, Draco was already inside the house. Harry could hear his voice calling, "Ronald, how are you on this fine day?"

Harry's eyes met Molly's. He shrugged, a little what-can-you-do gesture, and linked his arm with hers. "Let's try to contain the damage, shall we?"

Lunch was pleasant enough--Molly's food was plentiful and delicious, as always. Ginny reined in the barbs after repeated application of Ron's foot to her shin; Draco had an intent conversation with Hermione that involved a lot of hand gestures (Draco) and finger pointing (Hermione), and Harry bounced baby Rosie on his lap and told her about the broom he would buy her. Just grow a little more and we'll fly to the moon.

After lunch, Ron went to put Rose down, and Hermione grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him outside. She and Ginny tag-teamed him about Draco being 'aggressively lovely' and 'creepily agreeable'. Did Harry Imperius him? He could tell them, they could keep a secret.

Harry kept his mouth shut. He had seen the way Draco's hands shook when he fastened his cravat that morning.

Draco was nowhere to be found when Harry was released from the impromptu interrogation. Ron, sprawled on the sofa in a happy Sunday roast stupor, just flapped a hand at him when Harry looked at him inquiringly. Harry translated the vague gesture as 'garden, mate' and wandered out the back door.

What he found made him pause on the stoop. Arthur was behind the wheel of his beloved Ford Anglia, revving the engine for the benefit of a bewildered looking Draco who stood peering under the propped open bonnet, oohing and awing at appropriate intervals to Arthur's obvious delight. Draco stood bent at the hips in a ninety-degree angle as if his spine and neck refused to curve, hands clasped behind his back.

He looked so curious, so out of place, with his nicely-pressed three-piece suit and polished shoes, the rings on his fingers gleaming in the late afternoon sun and his hair carefully woven into neat plaits. He was shiny and bright, like some fanciful, long-legged bird.

Harry leaned back against the door and watched Draco, here in this place with all the people he loved best in the world. He felt his heart swell and settle, beating strong and steady in his chest.

----------------------------

Bonus:

Do not tell me this is not Draco in bird form. This is a snowy egret, and it is fanciful and long-legged and hilarious.

136 notes • Posted 2021-07-19 17:39:56 GMT

#3

Written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt Wicked Game

Hermione would be so disappointed in him and he can practically hear Head Auror Robards drone on about 'unauthorised use of tracking spells' and 'disciplinary measures'. Harry doesn't care. He is watching over Draco. Somebody's got to do it because Draco is obviously off his fucking nut.

The Invisibility Cloak protects Harry from the worst of the miserable drizzle, but he's cold and tired and Draco is a goddamn fucking lunatic.

Suddenly the tracking charm pulses in alarm and Harry is across the street and bursting through the door before he is consciously aware he is moving.

Draco is in the corner of the hotel room, his snarling mouth is shiny with blood and the knuckles of his clenched fists look bruised. He's shirtless and there's a hickey blooming on Draco’s neck.

Between one breath and the next, Harry is so angry his vision shimmers red at the edges. He has the stranger pinned against the wall, Harry's hand around the bloke's throat. He looks worse than Draco, Harry notices with grim satisfaction.

The bloke--fuck's sake, Draco, it's like Harry is looking in a fucking mirror--scrabbles at Harry's grip and spits invectives at Draco. "Fucking psycho hit me," he yells.

The guy's head hits the wall with a dull thud. "Shut your mouth," Harry grinds out, going for his wand.

"Harry, don't!" Draco calls.

"He yours?" the bloke taunts, lips curling.

Fuck if Harry knows, but his eyes meet Draco's. "Yes."

158 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 14:50:57 GMT

#2

When He Was Draco

written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt pretend. ~200 words of transmasc!Draco and hard-won happiness. Thanks to @samyistrying for pre-reading. | on AO3

When he was six years old, he stopped answering to his birth name and insisted on being called Draco instead.

When he was eight, he made the house-elves vanish all his witches' robes and cut off all his hair. His mother stroked his cheek and called him 'my sweet boy'. His father was pleased with how things had worked out; he had always wanted a male heir anyway.

When he was eleven, his father used all his influence to have Draco assigned to the boys' dormitory and vowed vengeance on all who would contradict him.

When he was thirteen, he cried himself to sleep when he couldn't find a spell that would keep his body from turning against him.

When he was sixteen, Professor Snape had to take down all his delicately woven transfiguration spells in order to save his life. Draco would have rather Potter had killed him.

When he was seventeen, he lived every day in abject terror. His whole life had become a game of pretend-or-die.

When he was eighteen and still alive, he vowed he would never live another day in shadow and fear.

When he was nineteen, he fell in love with Harry Potter.

When he was twenty years old, Harry kissed him for the first time.

174 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 14:08:13 GMT

#1

Love Letter

for the @drarrymicrofic prompt Love Letter. A bit late this time. I had to bully @mystisblom into animating my drabble first. :) on AO3

(Text-only under the cut.)

Dear Draco,

You have a nice smile. I never knew that before you smiled at me. I like your hair and your arse in those grey trousers. Can I touch your hair or your arse, I'm not fussy? I really want to kiss you. A lot. I think you like me, too.

Bugger this, I fancy the pants off you. Meet me behind the broomshed after sundown.

H.

233 notes • Posted 2021-06-07 16:33:36 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[sonic-wildfire]

Emotion Sickness: Diary Entries from Shadow the Hedgehog (Part 1)

Select entries from Shadow’s diary were found and compiled by Sonic (with Shadow’s permission) as an homage to both Shadow’s development and their relationship together. The entries were made between March 2009 and October 2013. This part of the compilation contains the entries made between March 2009 and December 2010.

10:53 PM - 4 March 2009

Hmph. Another day behind me. I crossed paths with Sonic today and he offered to have lunch with me. The request was somewhat flattering, but I turned it down. I don’t really need to eat.

Why is Sonic always so nice to me? It’s a liability to be within ten feet of him at this point, considering how much trouble he gets into. Whatever. I’m better by myself anyway.

5:02 PM - 19 July 2009

Amy visited me today and said she was here on Sonic’s behalf. Don’t know why, but she wanted me to know Sonic was offering to have me over at his place.

Sonic has a permanent home? Who knew?

I thought about it for a bit, but I declined. Again, I don’t understand why Sonic continues to do nice things for me even though I’m the most miserable being on the planet. It’s not that I hate them or anything, but I just can’t get close to anybody else. What if they reject me? What if...

Forget it.

I can’t think about this stuff. I’m going to take a nap. My thoughts are the last thing I need to be with right now.

6:46 PM - 30 November 2009

Wouldn’t you know it, that stubborn blue hedgehog turned up at my door today and again asked me to spend time with him. I was about to just tell him to piss off, but something about this interaction was different. I don’t know what, why, or how, but... it actually sounded appealing this time?

Very hesitantly, I said I’d think about it but don’t expect me to take you up on the offer. He just smiled, said okay, and left. 

Maybe I should at least try to be somewhat charitable for once. I called up Rouge and told her about what had happened and she just teased me over it before hanging up. You know, typical Rouge.

But she did tell me that it was ultimately my decision to make.

Hm. I think I might go after all.

12:25 PM - 2 December 2009

Just got back from having breakfast with Sonic. He was actually surprised I showed up. Honestly? I was surprised, too.

I didn’t talk too much, but Sonic... oh boy, Sonic. It’s like he never ran out of things to talk about. He’s smiling the entire time he’s with me, too. It was almost alluring just how much his bright demeanor contrasted with my moody self.

One of the things Sonic talked about was his friends. I was fully ready to just stop him right then and there (it rubs me the wrong way when anybody mentions friendship), but then he told me I was a “good friend” to him.

I asked him if he was serious. Sonic said yes.

In retrospect, it was certainly more eventful than most days. Perhaps little meetups like this would be healthier for me if I did them every once in a while.

3:59 AM - 28 May 2010

I can’t rest. I keep thinking about Sonic.

We’ve been meeting occasionally like I said I should. The longer I’m with Sonic, the more I begin to see in him what I could’ve been.

He’s a caring, generous man with everything going for him. People like him. He has a purpose in life. He’s coolheaded, rational, and valuable to society.

So why on Earth would Sonic be spending time with me, a reprehensibly depressed alien who is so completely worthless and undeserving of care? How could he possibly like me when I don’t even like myself?

I’m tired and tears are pricking at the corners of my eyes. I need to talk to someone in the morning.

1:51 AM - 29 May 2010

I called Rouge and told her about last night. She wasn’t very vocal, but she did offer a little encouragement. She said I don’t get enough sleep and that a little bit of rest would put me at ease for a bit. But I’m still on edge. What does Sonic see in me that I don’t? Or am I just overthinking this? My thoughts are erratic right now, so I’m sorry to anyone reading if this doesn’t make sense.

Ugh.

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes already.

I’m so weak. I’m so pathetic.

Who would ever want to spend time with someone like me?

All I do is brood in the corner of the room all day and be an asshole to everybody. I don’t understand how anybody could be tolerant of me, much less a “friend.”

Yet... I’m still drawn to Sonic. For whatever reason, he’s just so inviting. He’s nice. Too nice.

11:32 AM - 8 August 2010

Over the past few months, Sonic and I have been visiting each other more often, and not much has changed.

From me, at least.

Sonic has been growing even kinder towards me than before. Sometimes, he’ll give me small gifts like a scarf. Other times, he’ll ask me about myself. If I were ready, I would’ve just spilled my true feelings about myself right then and there.

But I wasn’t ready. So I just talked about the very few things I did find enjoyment in. Gardening, space, and Chao. I begged him to never tell anybody about what I said to him, and he looked at me like I had three heads but vowed to keep it a secret anyway.

I just don’t know. Sonic’s a good guy, but... I can’t bring myself to be friendly with him. If I start growing close with people, they’ll just die or leave me and I’ll be heartbroken again just like last time. I can’t go through that again. I’m not strong enough.

I appear tough on the outside. But the truth is, I’m always on the verge of breaking down. My mental state is so volatile and virtually uncontrollable.

Chaos damn it, just get out of my head already!

3:40 PM - 23 December 2010

The holiday season. A time for joy, reminiscing on the past, looking forward to the new year, and exchanging gifts.

For everybody else, that is.

Ever since I came here, I’ve spent every Christmas alone.

All the others have a big gathering at Sonic’s house, having a good time (allegedly). I was never interested in these and I always declined every single invitation I got from Sonic. Yet, like clockwork, he still sends me one every year. Maybe hoping that I’ll change my mind one year.

After a lot of self-reflection over the past year, though, I’m not sure how much more invitations I can reject before Sonic gives up trying.

I crumble in social situations. Interacting with anybody other than Rouge, Omega, or Sonic for more than ten seconds takes an insane amount of willpower.

Something has to give. Either I go for once or they stop trying.

12:48 AM - 24 December 2010

I’ve decided I need to go. Maybe bring one of my Chao if things go wrong. I’m not necessarily doing this because I want to go. In fact, I’d be a lot happier if I didn’t go because at least I know things can’t go wrong if I’m by myself.

But I can’t stop thinking about Sonic and his friends. It drives me crazy.

9:21 PM - 24 December 2010

Party’s tomorrow. Note to self: don’t fuck this up.

11:17 PM - 26 December 2010

How quickly things can change has always amazed me. Tonight proved that.

Everybody was really surprised to see me showing up, but they said they were all grateful I showed up. Sonic, of course, was the first to welcome me, giving me a hug that admittedly felt like a breath of fresh air after so much time alone. Then again, I have a reputation so I needed to act like he was crushing me to death.

I didn’t spend much time talking with other people, though I did exchange some small talk with Rouge. The usual.

As the party grew longer, I found myself being... complimented by others?

Knuckles said he hoped I was “doing well.” Cream gave me a single flower while wishing me a merry Christmas. Tails shyly waved at me (I put on a smile and waved back). Omega said I was “one of the only creatures made of flesh” he trusted.

I’m sorry. Did these people forget who they were talking to?

Dinner was fine, though I was particularly eager about the sweets. Oh, right, I forgot to mention I have a knack for candy. The more you know.

Of course, then it was time for gifts. I swear you could fill the Grand Canyon with the sheer amount of presents under the tree. I guessed that roughly three of those were for me, ready to be mailed to me if I didn’t show up.

So you can imagine my surprise when I saw eight presents being dropped into my lap and all of them reading “To: Shadow.”

We all took turns opening our presents. I had two presents from Amy (a coffee mug and a Chao toy), one present from Espio (a kunai), one present from Tails (a bag of coffee beans), one present from Knuckles (a Kill la Kill DVD) and... three presents from Sonic?!

The first one was classic Sonic stuff. A sweater with the word “faker” sewed on the chest. He thought that one was really funny. I didn’t really care.

The second one was more genuine. A pair of rocket boosters for my shoes. My old ones are just about dead, so this was welcome.

The third one... subverted all expectation. It was a small box that contained a piece of paper. It read:

“Dear Shadow, stay after the party and meet me upstairs when the others leave. Signed, Sonic.”

The others were curious about what Sonic meant by this. Silver joked that I was being sent to the principal’s office.

Eventually, the party came to a close and people left. I went upstairs as Sonic had told me, and there he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

He motioned for me to take a seat next to him. I sat down and asked him what he wanted me for, half-expecting something stupid.

“I understand you haven’t had the easiest life...”

I instantly got up to leave. No way I was sticking around to hear this again.

But Sonic grabbed my arm and yanked me back to the bed, his face now spelling genuine concern.

“...I know you mean well. Sometimes, you do things that we think are dumb but actually turn out to be smart. Other times, you just do dumb stuff. But that’s not the point. The point is, I want you to know that I’m still here for you. I can tell you’re bothered by your thoughts. But the bottom line is that I, and we, care about you. We love you, Shadow. I love you. Please don’t think you’re not worthy of being cared about. We have our ups and downs, but we always work it out eventually, right? I know your thought process works differently than mine. That does not make you any less deserving of respect. My greatest wish is that you would love yourself as much as we love you.”

I was stunned. That bastard. Quickly losing my composure, I began blubbering about how I couldn’t stand the thought of getting close to someone just to lose them again. How I’m so terrified that I will just be manipulated and used by people pretending to be my “friend.”

Sonic told me that he would never go away and that he would never “use” me.

Fuck. Fuck.

Sonic embraced me and I’m embarrassed to admit that I began sobbing as I wrapped my arms around him. I swore to myself that I’d never show any kind of weakness around them.

“It’s okay to cry,” he told me. “Don’t be afraid anymore. I’m here now. I’m here.”

“And I always will be. That’s a promise.”