#she would have a lot of trouble with places not being accessible etc. in my opinion. i like that she's there but it feels weird)

[phaedo]

maybe at some point i'll write up a whole post about disability in doctor who. i feel like the only disabled character i feel like hasn't really been handled badly in some way was diane in flux and that's because they straight-up never mentioned it

[doodleferp]

Cara and Miguel Starter Pack

So let me start from the beginning one last time. Once upon a time, Cara was yeeted into Earth-928 thanks to some fucky Lovecraftian nonsense from her fucky Lovecraftian dimension. After meeting Miguel, who was a baby Spider-Man back then, Cara was denied access back to her world thanks to some sibling disputes. She spun a little web of lies for Miguel’s then-fianceé Dana, and they took pity on her and decided to help her out. I’m pretty sure you know the rest. They moved her in with Dana, saved the city, humorously acclimated Cara to the city, buried Dana, got married to get Cara a green card, and ended up actually falling in love.

This works off of a timeline of events that I established myself and it's subject to change if more information from the films comes out. General consensus is that Miguel was born in 2070, so he was 29 when he got his powers IN 2099. But since he’s 35 in AtSV, that means about six years have passed since then.

Cara is five foot even. She’s a tiny little thing who has the love of a fucking giant. As the tall one, Miguel is often asked to help get things from places she can’t reach. But instead of grabbing the thing like a normal person, Miguel grabs Cara under her arms, lifts her up, and holds her up so she’s the perfect height to grab the thing herself. He does this everywhere. The apartment, the Spider Society, the grocery store, his office at Alchemax, etc.

Cara likes to wear a helmet instead of a mask because she’s being tossed around constantly and feels safer with that kind of head protection. Miguel, however, fucking hates the helmet and takes every opportunity to show Cara his Pepe Silvia board about why she should trade it out for the mask he made her. Cara will sit patiently through all of it, and then she’ll go “Would you like me to crack my head open?” And he shuts up for another week. (Oh, he also made her current suit all by himself.)

These two are like...so gossipy Mostly Miguel, but Cara indulges him a lot. Ofc they have those bedtime pillow talks where they're both reading or Miggy's on his laptop and they'll go on about something someone did that day. They'll be swinging through the city and talking shit about Internet drama or some dweeb from a restaurant. Miguel will hit her up on his lunch hour and give her all the Alchemax tea, complete with examining his nails like the mean popular girl from a Disney Channel Original Movie. If he thinks someone's eavesdropping, he'll start talking in really fast Spanish so they can't get what he's saying. Needless to say, Cara had to learn Spanish really fast just to keep up with him.

They both adore snuggling. Miguel is like Cara’s weighted blanket and she can’t sleep without him anymore because he just envelops her (Fig 1). He’ll spoon her, he’ll let her sleep on his chest and hold her there. He’ll do everything short of actually sleeping on top of her (Fig 2) and he does that at least once a month. However, he always wakes up at 4 AM to use the bathroom, and Cara always wakes up because she no longer has her big warm blanket man. Thankfully, she goes right back to sleep once he comes back to bed. It’s to the point where they have trouble sleeping without the other in the bed because Cara needs the weight on her and Miguel needs something to cuddle.

Since Cara and her sisters got some fucky eldritch nonsense going on with their blood, they…I guess a bit more compatible with other dimensions. They can’t travel between them at will, of course, but they don’t glitch because they got that interdimensional cosmic horror in em. When Miguel somehow starts monitoring the ItSV movie, he’s flabbergasted when he sees the other Spiders glitching and he goes to Cara like “these people are literally dying and it hasn’t been a week, how the shock did you survive SIX YEARS”.

Cara’s actually good at a lot of household chores, so she offers to help around the apartment when she isn’t working. And thanks to Spider nonsense, she can get really thorough with it. Miguel has come home multiple times to see her standing on the ceiling changing light bulbs or cleaning something on the ceiling. It saves him tons since he got to opt out of the building's cleaning service, but it still gives him a heart attack every now and then.

They have had long arguments about whether or not killing spiders counts as murder since they’re both half-spider. Cara scoops them up on a piece of paper and puts them out the window or something. Miguel just puts them out of their misery.

As I’m sure everyone reading this has deduced, these two are a very...hands-on couple. They have been banned from being in the Spider Society’s gym at the same time because of it. As in "when one of them goes in, the other is automatically locked out" kind of banned. Thank Peter B for that -- as in, genuinely thank him because he's saved a lot of minors from seeing a couple spider mutants getting freaky.

Not exactly shippy, but Miguel and Cara's sister Cadence do not get along. At all. They hate each other with a burning passion. Cadence is positive he's that archetypical dudebro who's going to drag Cara down, and Miguel is rightfully pissed that she's hostile to him for existing. Cara unfortunately has to get in the middle of them and keep things calm, and thankfully Miguel is willing to make an effort. Cadence is less than accommodating though, so the occasional cross-dimensional family visits are always interesting.

c. doodleferp, 2024. do not steal or repost.

[samble-moved]

Madoka's Ascension Can Be Read as a Sort of Suicide

TW: Discussion of suicide, depression, etc.

Note: This is a repost from @/samble, my prev (deleted) blog, done for ease of access. I don't actually think this interpretation this was intentional, but it's another valid way you can read Madoka's actions.

I) Foreward/Beginning

A lot of people associate Homura with the idea of a "depressed character" in Madoka Magica. This makes sense, though you could likely argue most, if not all of the cast, is depressed/traumatized. However, Homura is the most blatent. She is constantly overly self-critical, has very poor self esteem, has canonically attempted suicide and has suicidal thoughts, and her entire witch is literally based around wanting and wanting to die.

But just because Homura's is one of the more in-your-face doesn't mean Madoka, who's literally portrayed as a goddess that gives hope, can't be seen as a character who's also going through things, even pre-Timeloop shenanigans...

II) Madoka's Self Esteem, or Total Lack Thereof

Madoka, throughout most of her appearances throughout the "main" anime timeline, has very obvious low self esteem. She compares herself to others constantly, seems to base her whole sense of self worth off of if she's seen as "helpful", and is always calling herself weak and a burden/bother to others. Most people think (perhaps rightly) that this is only due to the aforementioned Timeloop Shenanigans as shown in the anime, but Madoka actually thinks this way even before Homura becomes a magical girl. See: the drama CDs, specifically #1.

Here's a quote from the CD summary off Puella Magi Wiki that I think stands out (keep in mind, again, this is Timeline One Madoka, NOT the less self-confident Madoka from later Timelines/loops):

"On their way Madoka confesses to Homura that she used to think the same way as Homura, she felt powerless and useless but that changed when she became a magical girl...[before] she felt she was only causing trouble to other people."

This implies Madoka gains her confidence when she becomes a magical girl. But her lack of it in the first place implies TL1 Madoka, if/when she was human, didn't have high self esteem like people think. She got it from winning battles and helping people as a magical girl. So it's entirely possible that having a poor view of herself is actually Madoka's "default", and it can't all be blamed on looping affecting her. It's highly possible "later Timeline" Madoka IS just like First Timeline Madoka — she's just still human.

III) Madoka Only Ever Seems to Like Herself if She's Saving Someone (Even at the Cost of Her Life)

Even in the TL1 Madoka examples, did you notice how she repeatedly says her self esteem only raised after she becomes a magical girl? Being a magical girl, where job benefits include trauma, life threatening situations on the daily, literally no escape but dying, and becoming/watching your friends become eldritch horrors that you have to kill? That doesn't seem like something that would make you feel better, but worse.

However, the main draw to Madoka is saving other people. Forget her own life and safety, she'd rather help others! And...this could be a noble goal, if literally all of her self esteem didn't rest on her doing this.

Think about it. Madoka is fourteen. She's highly self critical, thinks she's useless, and overall has a very poor self image. But then, she contracts. Sure, she's in constant danger (which she acknowledges), but she helps people...which makes her happy, despite all the "mortal peril" drawbacks. Now think about if a normal human middle schooler said this. Like, a normal 13-14 year old girl saying her entire sense of self worth revolves around saving people while putting herself in life threatening situations. Nobody would say this is a "good" thing, most people would think she would need therapy, or to try and base her self worth on other things instead of just something so dangerous, or wait until she's older and has more experience. They wouldn't blindly support such a thing.

IV) Madoka as Someone Passively Suicidal

I want to start out this section by saying I do not think Madoka would ever intentionally and literally kill herself. Thus the "passively" aspect.

Obviously, Madoka never says something to the effect of, "I want to kill myself" or "I want to die" in the anime. However, her actions and blatent disregard for her own safety and life can be read as a more passive instead of active form of suicidal ideation, or just not caring about herself at best.

From choosetherapy, "Passive suicidal ideation happens when people desire death but do not make active plans to harm themselves. These thoughts may sound like, 'I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up,' or 'I wish I could die in a car accident.' Although these are not active plans and tend to be situations in which people do not die by their own hand, people may still engage in riskier behaviors as a result of these thoughts."

From Refinery29, on an article by someone who's dealt with this: "Most days, I enjoyed my life. I was invested in my plans and looked forward to the future. But every now and then, when things were particularly difficult, I wanted to close my eyes and disappear. Thinking about no longer existing was like an emotional reflex, something I sometimes defaulted to when faced with internal pain."

Now, again, Madoka is never for sure shown saying anything like this — but we also don't see a ton of her thought process, in general. What we do see, however, can be a bit alarming.

From the same summary of Drama CD #1: "Madoka tells Homura that she wanted to adopt the black cat [Amy] but apparently it likes being independent. So she asks Homura that if something were to happen to her, she would like Homura to take care of it. Homura panics but Madoka tries to calm her by telling her she is not planning on dying soon."

Remember that Madoka...

Is absolutely willing to throw herself into literal life or death situations to try and save someone, no hesitation, at 14

Is prone to risk taking behaviors in some cases due to the above, even fighting when she knows she will die or doing dangerous things that can 100% get her killed or injured

Does these things because her self esteem is so low she seems to see herself as worthless

Is constantly seemingly belittling herself (

Only gains self worth through saving and helping others, even if it literally results in her dying and is very dangerous (at 14!!!)

Makes a dark joke/request to Homura about Homura watching out for Amy (the cat) if "something happens" to Madoka in TL1, which is a little worrying, since things like making "hypothetical" requests like that sometimes happens if someone is planning on suicide (ex. "If I die, please take care of my pets" or "If something ever happens to me, please do xyz" and yes, I'm aware she doesn't commit suicide then, but I recognized this is likely the reason why Homura is worried).

V) How This Relates to Madoka's Final Wish

AKA how Madoka's self sacrifical nature goes full throttle, resulting in something suspiciously akin to that whole "passively suicidal" thing we just touched on.

I'm not sure if other people have noticed it, but it seems implied that Madoka knew, or at least didn't care that her wish would erase her from existence — and, worse, this is something she wanted to happen.

Mami literally tells Madoka she will never physically be able to stop fighting, and that Madoka will lose all individuality. Mami even tells her dying would be kinder. The same Mami that made a wish to avoid dying. And does Madoka freak out? Seem to show she didn't expect this? No. She just basically says, "Fine. That's what I wanted to do, anyways."

She knew this was a potential aspect of her wish, and does not care that it "kills" her (in a metaphorical sense) by erasing any and all records of her existing, and her as a person.

Remember that part about how something like, "I wish I could just disappear?" can be passive suicidal ideation? Yeah, well it's pretty clear now that this was intentional, or, at "best", something Madoka doesn't mind...when she 100% should absolutely mind as a middle school aged girl.

And Mami isn't the only character who sees Madoka's fate as sad and depressing! Homura thinks so! And Homura says dying would be better when she sold her soul to keep Madoka from dying!

Madoka herself is maybe content with it, but again, Madoka only likes herself if she's saving someone. If she's not, she thinks she's a burden on her friends and family.

Madoka has low self esteem -> Madoka gains it by saving and helping others, even at great risk -> her wish is a literal cultivation of that, as she wishes herself out of existence -> Madoka is likely "content" as the LoC because

She no longer "exists" and has no actual "self" anymore

She is useful and helps people, and only sees herself as anything other than a nuisance and a good for nothing when she's doing things like this

This isn't even getting into the lyrics and implications of Madoka's character song if it's being read this way, which is one of those "sounds happy, is actually really sad" types:

"Cracking a smile, yet I'm feeling lonely / The truth is, I still have more to talk about / But with the words 'See you later' / I say we'll meet again, but it's a lie / and with my usual smile, I say / 'See you tomorrow'"

VI) Additional Notes

I'd like to add (post-posting howomura edit here) that you can commit suicide (or quasi-suicide) for a "selfless" or "good" reason and for it to still be sad and messed up. Nobody is claiming Madoka is evil for sacrificing herself, just that she shouldn't have felt like she had to do it, especially at her age (fourteen).

People who do it so their families can get money, to make political points and attract attention to events, etc, may have "good" intentions and be "selfless" in their actions, but it doesn't mean those people should have had to do it. Altruistic and benevolent suicides are still tragic even if they're meant to be for good cause or to help others as a whole.

[gloriousmonsters]

HECK yes. worstgirl time. (a lot of these are still vague and taking shape and i need to actually figure out when i want to place her death date etc etc...

that said

she had an absent dad (stepped out to buy cigarettes and fucking died) (velvette thinks he just ran off) (all the Vees have daddy issues, this is hers) and a mom who fell into alcoholism due to depression/shit jobs, leaving Velvette to be raised by the TV, fashion magazines and the Internet whenever she got access to computers. so i feel like that explains a lot

I'm toying with the idea she was put in foster care as a teenager, which she was pissed about because she LIKED being essentially a free agent in between the brief moments her mom noticed her existence and they had screaming matches, thankyouverymuch

she was severely bullied in high school for her obvious poverty+being a weird alt girl+the noticeable mental illnesses (mainly anger issues where she would explode and threaten people messing with her, or pick fights with teachers).

was never internet popular or successful in the fashion industry during her life, just an aspirational mean girl who learned a lot about Internet success but didn't have time to implement it for herself, and had a lot of big dreams (mostly involving being handed fashion awards while the bullies from her high school cried)

had turned thirty just a little while before her death, and was experiencing existential terror over how she hadn't found success yet and was going to start becoming a decrepit old maid

owned a lot of ball-jointed dolls who she'd make little outfits for and also be quietly insane with at the end of a hard day (velvette sitting on the floor with two dolls re-enacting a conversation with a coworker: wow, [velvette]! now that you suggest THAT outfit, i see that my idea is stupid and bad! i'm going to go kill myself now!)

(bonus tiny after-death headcanon but. doesn't collect dolls anymore, but will refer to her models as her 'dolls' or 'dollies' sometimes, always in a fake-sweet possessive or threatening tone. it's usually a sign she's pissed with them.)

struggled with ~love~ due to (a) mainly being attracted to guys who were dating other people or out of her social circle/league (b) being a weird little creep whose trouble with conducting normal relationships only increased the longer she went without one and grew more desperate and was ashamed by that and became more cold and aggressive with stronger outbursts of desperation and etc, vicious cycle

ok I've had the vague idea she was killed when she just kind of hit her limit one day and went into her workplace to kill someone (a model or actual designer) she hated--uncaring if she caused some collateral death on the way-- and got killed in self-defense, but now I'm thinking about her working in marketing/advertising specifically because it would both fit her after-death role and because being forced to promote/design ideas around someone you loathed seems like a good source of 'i'm going to fucking murder them' stress

that's all that comes to mind atm 👍

[badassbutterfly1987]

White London clothing redesign ideas

so I've mentioned I've been wanting to craft a more distinct visual look for White London clothing since I think that having a potentially wildly different history from the other worlds would have different cultural influences in values, food, clothing, etc. (Also I just have trouble with drawing Regency/Victorian style)

since some of the names have Swedish and Dutch influences (Holland having a Dutch sounding surname, Makt being Swedish for power), I decided to lean into that a little.

fun fact: we don't know how/why the author chose the names she did (could have been reflecting specific influences, could have been whatever sounded good) and they're kinda all over the place. So we have Nasi who has two potential meanings: in Hebrew it's a title meaning prince and in Indonesian it's a word for a rice dish.

if we lean into the latter, that opens up Southeast Asian influences like Indonesia and Thailand. Both have tropical climates and therefore less layered clothing, so anything there will need to be paired with a heavier layer to compensate for WL's cold weather. Indonesia also has heavy associations with intricate jewelry; makes for something White Londoners can use to trade favors or turn into amplifiers (also should incorporate bone jewelry, fits their vibe).

a lot of my recent art pieces have been inspired by Kdrama shows, especially those set in the Joseon era, so we can keep up with that. Womenswear of that period tends to be poofy and doesn't look all that practical for characters who always have to be prepared for a physical fight (might be wrong tho; could still work for Leta). The Mongolian deel has the right level of practical and aesthetically pleasing so that's on the list. (Also there are so many intricate and vibrant colors here).

it makes for a good starting point i think. now have to figure how the different styles can be melded together, which materials characters would have access too, which styles would appeal to which characters, how the class divisions affects styles, etc. then a consistent style and color scheme for each character, let's see how many months that takes lol.

[horizon-verizon]

The HotD Costumes (EDITED - 9/23/23)

I know this tends to be the more forgiveable and even celebrated aspect of the ASoIaF TV shows and any fantasy novel series-adapted show.

Some of the outfits for the women in HotD were meaningful for what the writers wanted to produce in terms of characterization and/or were just stunning in their own right for modern audiences. There is no doubt the designers, stylists, and costumers put effort into this show.

And there’s obviously the expectation to see dissonant choices in action, look, etc. from canon in any element of an adaptation. 

Then there’s always issues with material and budget.

And we still want our characters to look good and distinctive enough that we’d recognize the clothes coming from the show/story itself.

However....

Most of the HotD still doesn’t make sense in the context of a European medieval-styled world (that is Westeros) for a show that wants to depict the dynamics and image of a feudal patriarchal society. A lot of the immersive value gets lost when you have garments that expose a lot of the arms and shoulders.

I don’t really feel like these women are placed in a system of gender-based, sexual containment. and this was a problem I had back with Game of Thrones but forced myself to accept since it was out of my control.

Example #1 

Laena’s Neckline Goes too Low and Shows Too Much of the Shoulders

Seems more like something you’d see on a modern fashion runway.

Example #2 

It’s the slit showing Alicent’s breasts.

While “good” and girlboss for us, in Westeros and in court it would forever get Alicent labeled as a whore or immodest woman unfit to be Queen. She herself would never ever wear this with all her internalized misogyny.

And while being called/perceived as a "loose woman" or something similar does not mean total social exclusion AND high-risk loss of the only real access to power, authority given for women in modern Western societies, it does mean exactly that for Westerosi feudal noble/royal women. Alicent does have something to lose by this...which is why Rhaenyra is having as much trouble as she is having while not ever even dressing "provocatively" (except in her second pregnancy dress, which again, to us modern Westerners is not really considered provocative. But to Westerosi people? It is pushing it).

Since we acknowledge that dress is a political statement with a particular political message not just to Rhaenyra, the dress Alicent wore here totally contradicts her motivations of episode 6 and the claimed goal of upholding conservative values.

Why are we trying to deny that Alicent's personality and the very cultural context that have a hand in sharing who she is? Why are we denying the culture and what these women are up against by making these anachronistic pieces? Doesn't this make as if there is no patriarchy when Alicent wears this dress AND doesn't encounter any consequences for it? Where is the narrative conflict, the immersion?

Example #3 

Alicent’s bare arms -- GoT was strange for this sort of sleeve, too.

Example #4 (the point should be obvious by now)

HotD is reminiscent (in terms of plain visuals and what it did to the constraints on medieval female agency) of the show Reign, which straight up had designs that would never exist in Renaissance (around 1400s-1500s) Europe.

Except HotD is really trying to get us to believe and feel its world's women’s and girls’ sexual restrictions.....

These are the clothes that are closer to Westerosi noble dress (and even those dips into the breast are themselves bold choices):

🎨: naomimakesart : "The Lions of Casterly Rock"

Ironically, the male costumes are much more faithful....since you know apparently there’s less of a stake there. 

And even though it’s GoT, there is this incompatibility with clothing we can imagine for Westeros:

....Even with Olenna being a much older woman (undesirable for a man looking for a marriage) and the show making the Tyrells/people in the Reach a little less covered.....

The stark contrast of these garments of Margareyn and Olenna gave a contradiction instead of a subtle difference of maturity.

How does Margarey get away with that much? even with a rich and powerful noble family, she’s still a girl who had an image of female chastity to uphold and conform to. She wouldn't be exempt from that. If she had full sleeves and a little dip in the chest like in the illustration by naomimakesart above, that would have made so much more sense.

By the way, here are examples of some real-life medieval female clothing (of various specific decades and regions within the overall medieval era [c.400s - 1400s]):

🎨: 

Albert Kretschmer @ worldhistory.org

Philosophy Presenting the Seven Liberal Arts to Boethius (detail), miniature in a French manuscript of The Consolation of Philosophy attributed to the Coëtivy Master, about 1460–70 @ blogs.getty.edu

world4.edu

nehalenniacreation.wordpress.com

prue batten

[zacksfairest]

Vys 📙 , Caed 🍐 , Saya 💤 ; Vaela, Lehala, and Ayala all, this is very very important, 🌸

Ask me about my OCs

OH LIZ I LOVE YOU

Vys'kydir - 📙

📙 What kind of subjects (of conversation, of discussion, in school or whatever) does your OC find interesting or engaging or that they can talk for hours about? What kind of stuff do they just find fun?

Vys is definitely the most reserved out of my little Mando group. He likes to talk about the usual Mando things: weaponry, armor, tactics, etc. He is simple to that effect.

He likes cartography, too. Maps and the like. He and Caed usually work together for any recon that needs to be done for this reason. He has an innate sense of direction, too. Even if he didn't have access to a map in his HUD, he can almost always tell North from South from East from West. It's also why Vys is usually set up as a lookout. He has the area memorized, any escape routes, potential sniper nests their enemies might take up, the best places an ambush might lie in wait—he's got it all covered.

He also likes to read. Being a lookout can get boring sometimes. You gotta have something to keep you awake when things get quiet. He usually turns to reading if he has someone else with him to help with the lookout duty. If not, he blasts music in his helmet.

Caedyc -🍐

🍐 What is your OC’s mentality? Are they overall positive? Negative? A bit of both? Describe their thought patterns and reasoning behind their choice making!

GOD YOU PICKED THE PERFECT CHARACTER FOR THIS, BETH'IKA.

Caed is an OVERWHELMINGLY positive person. He is constantly the one trying to lighten the mood when things get tense, brushing off serious situations with a joke, teasing his squadmates purely to be a pest and get a rise out of them.

He is fucking insufferable, but this makes him a key member of Ayala's squad. She can always rely on him to keep morale up when things go sideways. And he's always there to make her laugh and get her to crack a smile when the pressure starts to mount. Caed is absolutely invaluable to Ayala for this very reason, even when she wants to throttle him because he won't shut the fuck up.

Caed knows this is his niche in the squad, and he is completely fine with that. He's always been the Clan Clown, you could say. And he likes knowing that when things get hard, and boy can they get hard, that his fellow mando'ade can turn to him to get their spirits lifted. Or at least distract them with the desire to strangle him. Anything that helps.

I love Caed a lot.

Saya - 💤

💤 What was your OC like as a baby, a child and as a teen? (if your OC is a teen or a child, what will they be like as an adult?). How have they changed since then? What lessons have they learned and what things about their youth do they miss the most? Do they have any general regrets?

Saya lost her mother very young. Like, baby young. Young enough that she has no memory of her birth mother. Not entirely uncommon amongst Mandalorians, mind you. And this was not a loss she felt too keenly. Raising a child is pretty much a community effort for Mando clans even under normal circumstances, but when your clan head loses his wife? You best believe everyone steps in to ensure the child doesn't feel that loss, and to take the onus off the grieving widower.

But Saya was your typical Mando child. Relatively adventurous and plenty brave, constantly seeking whatever trouble she could get into with the other kids. Things changed a bit once Ayala came into the picture. I'd say that Ayala might have been? 5? Ish? When Aran adopted her and brought her and Eliava back home with him, putting Saya at 4, though pretty close to 5 herself.

Once Ayala was in the picture, Saya was enamored. She had a big sister now! Just like so many of her friends! I'd say that, even though there are definitely other alien races amongst Clan Ger'Mana, Ayala and her mother are the only Twi'leks, so Saya was entranced. She would tug at Ayala's and Eliava's lekku a lot, which hurts like a bitch because it's not like tugging on hair. She would get gently scolded a lot for that, but it's a habit that's continued into her adulthood when she decides she wants to be a brat to her big sister—or perhaps when Ayala needs to be humbled a bit. It happens.

Saya definitely went through a bit of a bratty phase as a teenager, especially once it became clear that Ayala was the one being praised for her prowess in all things Mandalorian. Like, Saya was by no means forgotten or Not Good Enough, but it was always clear that Ayala was just Better.

There was a lot of feelings of inadequacy there for while, and sometimes Saya would take that frustration out on Ayala when sparring and such. They do eventually work this out, but it remains a quiet rivalry between the two of them until they are on the cusp of their 20's I'd say. Saya came to see that, though Ayala received a lot of praise and accolades for her skills and training and leadership, it came with a lot of pressure and expectations. Ayala took it all in stride, but Saya could see the way it weighed her sister down, and decided to, instead of adding to that weight, support her. If her sister was going to be their leader one day, the least she could do was help her bear the burden.

Ayala also saw how unfair it was that she, who had been brought into the clan, was overshadowing her younger sister, and so basically became Saya's number one fan and training partner. She sparred with her, took her on patrols, and trained her. It's part of why Saya is a part of her squad. What better way for Saya to learn than by example?

And Saya is a truly stellar Mandalorian, truly. Ayala makes sure she knows this. And Saya comes to accept it as truth as well, especially once their squad starts going out into the galaxy and starting all sorts of trouble.

Vaela, Lehala, and Ayala -🌸

🌸 What does your OC’s voice sound like? Their laugh? Are they good at singing? Do they have an accent?

Genuinely shocked you did not ask this of Vys. But that can be a question for another day.

Vaela:

We all know what Vaela sounds like. I have no shame when I say that she sounds exactly as she does in the campaign. She has a heavy city-going accent, and I'd say her vocal timbre is pretty middle of the road for a woman. Not super deep, but not the high pitched cutesy bullshit out of an anime.

Vaela personally hates her laugh. She thinks it's loud and obnoxious, but her friends and family alike have said it's infectious and an absolute joy to hear.

And yes, she can sing. There. I said it. Maybe Zaresh made her sing sometimes for him. Shut up.

Lehala:

Lehala's voice is powerful. Not that she is loud, but her voice has an air of authority and surety to it. Her voice is also on the deeper side and has a slight accent. It's a weird one; you can hear bits of a typical tiefling accent in there, or at least the kind of accent you'd expect a tiefling to have, but it's not quite right.

A fact! This is because, as the Namda are not a mono-racial species, they all live and exist among many accents and ways of speaking. So their accent can be a weird amalgamation of their species' accent combined with others.

Lehala's laugh is usually a bit reserved. More of a low chuckle. Sometimes she can be made to really bark out a loud laugh, but that's kind of rare.

Alas, Lehala cannot sing. A pity. Imagine how nights around the camp would be if we had that. Traditional Namda ballads every night.

Ayala:

My darlingest girl! Ayala has a similar air of authority to her voice that Lehala does, but her voice is of a bit of a higher pitch. I'd say maybe ever so slightly higher than Vaela's.

Ayala has an absolutely delightful laugh. It is almost musical. You could almost call it girlish, if I had to sum it up in a word. One of those damned Disney Princess-esque laughs.

I am giving the ability to sing to Ayala, if only because she WILL sing in mando'a around Thrawn, goddamnit.

She doesn't have much of an accent, though. If Mandalorians had an accent, I'd give her that, but we are going to go with the same explanation I gave to Lehala. Mandalorians are not a monolith, there are so many different species that make up the people, so their accent is not really able to be placed.

[naviwing]

So here are the things I've been wondering and exploring about AI:

(she said, sitting down with a round of Babybel cheese, a pack of dried dates, and a bottle of water, recovering from covid, insisting that she doesn't want to engage in debate online about AI)

I'm an academic librarian at a small university. This is great, because it allows me to see how the different fields are handling the launch of AI. It also gave me the opportunity to co-author a book chapter (it's not going to be widely read;;) working on a small lit review on how it affects higher education. The bigger picture right now is that:

Each community has its own culture largely led by their administration

This means that if your leadership is explorative and supportive of innovation, you're more likely to be curious about AI, less likely to ban it outright, etc

Not only more curious, but would have met the historical moment of its launch with more of a "plan"

No community has a unified approach or consensus on where this fits into their lives, let alone teaching

Despite having an absolute wealth of online training and resources, people want more training specifically led by their university. They want more direction, not just "well look around and take some courses or something"

They want more resources but have a lot of trouble articulating what those resources are because, again, we're all kind of winging it and don't really have a plan (because plan for what)

The conversation is changing on the daily and it's really hard to keep up with

Humanities are having a much harder time with this and are more likely to ban its use

On the student side of things, students are afraid of being accused of using AI because the AI detectors are broken as shit, and likely your university doesn't have a way for you to explicitly protect yourself against accusations of AI. We're already seeing that neurodivergent students are at higher risk of having their work labelled as AI-generated, and we already know that AI is incredibly biased.

(I'm not dipping my toe into the ethics of AI right now. We know. We all know how these models are built up. It ain't great. It does not stop it from being used at the university level or being demanded by employers as a viable skill.)

My students are using it to bounce ideas off of, explore concepts, create study tools, and all around use it as a virtual tutor. And they're doing a damn good job at it. Critical thinking is key here, as is having enough life experience to know when to challenge what it says and look into things.

All around, I appreciate the conviction with which so many people reject AI, but at some point, it will be so integrated into everything you use that you will not have the option to abstain from it.

But anyhow HERE'S WHAT'S LIGHTING UP MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW.

I looked back to my days growing up in the 90s and early aughts. I, as a millennial, was labeled a "digital native" and was treated as a very special anomaly because, hey, we were growing up with technology. It was becoming an instinctual part of our identity. As a teenager in 2004-2008, I grew up on forums, moderating online writing guilds, and just being a huge nerd. College days were spent pulling away from those forums and shifting to here, running a Pokemon blog. The internet was something I watched develop and helped in my small way create.

Social media was MySpace, then Facebook, then Instagram. It wasn't monetized well, if at all, and being a Youtuber for a career was unthinkable. Influencer culture? Nah. Other than being a weirdo for the pure joy of it, that was more of a celebrity thing.

So early on in all that, I cannot emphasize this enough: it wasn't just a new tool in all our lives, but a new place. Much like gen AI right now, the internet had existed in a different capacity not easily accessible or usable to the average person until very suddenly it was. Online communities were being formed on bulletin boards, on forums, in email lists, in chat rooms. There was so much to see and do and make! New things were being created every day! Young people were becoming sneaker millionaires because of their new tools and online endeavors! The boom and bust was real!

I sit here with stacks of early 90s to 2000s books talking about The Information Highway, the Net, the Web. I hold here in my hands books that contain directories of "over 800 sites!" Because you could actually, at one point, publish a lot of what was worth seeing online in a print book. And! It was a perfectly viable way to communicate that information!! (I LOVE these.)

Do you remember too the 80s/90s trend of Zen? Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was hugely influential. It's a fascinating trend: imagine, you're being faced with an extraordinary amount of new information. Even how to use this tech is foreign to you. A computer? In my home? With... the World Wide Web? On the Internet, that I have to pay for by the hour? What's a gopher site? What's email?? But wait! We should take a Zen approach. We should enter this new world with philosophical calm. We're in control, and in many ways we're not... but with logic and sound mind, you can learn how to be online.

Can we even do that now? Zen and the Art of AI? Can we stop, reflect, and logically approach this, or are we so far gone into our digital lives that we just adapt without asking too many questions?

I think back, too, to the days when my teachers and professors would have us chatting on a forum, building a wiki, creating something with some weird offbeat site no one had ever heard of... and totally missing the point. Look, if I wanted to talk with my classmates on a ~cool forum~ I'd already be their friend and doing that outside of school. (Remember, kids, the internet lived in very specific places for most of my high school life. We didn't have the internet in our pocket until college.) If I wanted to build a wiki, I'd be doing it likely for a fandom, with strangers online, for thousands of people to access all over the world. This was school. The neat things we did in school were all about the uniqueness of the person teaching and the truly creative things we did in that space. Chatting in forum threads about the Odyssey was...not it. But some of us were WAY more online than others and in really different ways, so... likely others did get something out of it.

But AI, right? The communities its creating are fractured. Much like the early days of the internet where you'd be paying monthly subscriptions for like 25 hours of online time, there's a group of people who can afford the really good AI. These people are forming "artist" communities, teaching communities, all kinds of conversations are being had about AI. It's largely dependent on privilege, and we don't yet have a unified opinion on how this fits into our lives even though it's coming up everywhere.

But where, I ask, does AI actually create and host community? Where is it creating culture? Not just jokes, not just memes, but actual communities with high-context and low-context forms of communication dependent upon AI? The early days of the internet brought chain emails, web shrines, blogs, the classic ROFLcopter. What is AI bringing to us? What PLACE is AI creating?

Will it ever create a place? Or is it a tool that will only ever mold the places we have? At what point does that molding so transform a place that it then has indeed created it?

It's still early, though, right. AOL as we know it dropped in 1993 and within 3ish years, exploded. We're about to see where AI really is headed soon.

What deeply worries me, though, is not "how are we going to teach with AI?" but "how is AI going to be integrated into our students' every day lives, and how is their private context going to inform how we teach AI and how they perceive our teaching of AI?"

And aside from that, another very worrying reality is forming:

**Trigger warning here of suicide, skip down past the other asterisks if you don't want to read

That 14 year old who formed a relationship with a character AI and then committed suicide. To be clear, the AI didn't tell him to do it. He was projecting terribly and saw the AI's response as validation to go through with it. Still, he was clearly deeply ill and isolated, and his family is now suing because of unmoderated use. He very much talked about being suicidal, and there was no safeguard to my knowledge to shift him over to any kind of help.

****

At what point are people going to be able to slap on a VR headset and have extensive, believable conversations with their anime boyfriend? At what point do we crack the lid clean off of an entire ~potentially autonomous~ world of fictional characters who can react to us, talk to us, validate us, ruin us? And we're sat in a college classroom talking about best prompt practices while one of my students is legitimately in love with some catgirl he created and trained??

When do we create online avatars for ourselves that these AI perceive and react to, we take off the headset, look to the mirror, and weep because none of it is real.

At what point does our relationship with reality become so terribly frayed that we truly believe that what we create is? That we don't believe anything we see anymore? That where once we could believe a painting or a photo or a video, we treat everything as a dream until proven real?

There's a line in the book I'm currently reading, Teaching with AI, where they talk about the Turing test, how it went from "do machines think" to "do you believe that the chatbot you're conversing with is a human?" That it's not about whether or not the AI actually is sentient but whether you believe it is. And I got so terribly irate because there's a reality factor here. It's not about what you believe, it's the fact that LLMs aren't sentient!!

When I hold a 20th century novel in my hands, and I think "wow, this was completely untouched by AI," and look at modern literature and just... how do you know what is purely fashioned by human hands and what has been generated? And at what point do we readily accept generated art and hold it on par with what took ages to create?

That post about being like the last elves to look upon the light of the trees is so... on point. Look to the elders. Look to the people who have seen all this from from the ground up. These anti-boomer attitudes? Bullshit. You need them. We need everyone's perspectives to keep us grounded, to remember, because someday you're going to be a dying breed who remembered the early days of gen AI and what it was like Before.

So all of this is to say that while I completely understand people being against gen AI, and I LOVE the fierce defense of human endeavor, it is here. It is here, we are learning how to use it, it's not going away, it's only going to keep developing and changing, there is a not insignificant chance that within our lifetimes much sooner rather than later that this stuff is going to become autonomous (not necessarily sentient but able to operate and create without human prompting), and to act like we shouldn't use it is just...unrealistic.

So yeah. I'm exhausted. That's disorganized. I'm not fixing it right now. Good night. <3

[dolceterzo]

11, 22, 33 and 44 😁

Thank you, darling! 😊🖤

11. Favourite extracurricular activity?

Being crafty/artistic; painting, embroidery, scrapbooking, drawing, DIY, dyeing/altering clothes etc. I love little projects like that, although it does mean I have a silly amount of crafting things in all available nooks of my home. 😂 It must also include listening to a podcast, listening to music or watching a documentary whilst I do said project. 😌

22. What type of person are you?

Oof, that is a big question! I have a solid sense of justice, I don't like unfairness or mistreatment of others, it really upsets me. (I don't think that's a particularly wild trait to have, but it rattles me easily.) I'm quite nurturing and supportive of others, I'm more patient than most and want to help everyone with everything (I like being a problem solver) - which doesn't always end up being a good thing for me, but I still don't want to lose that part of myself. I can be sensitive, moody and broody, but once I've cooled down, I'm generally a chill person, I'm very tolerant of a lot until it reaches a boiling point, lol. Oh, and I cry over everything, happy, sad, excited, angry, all of it makes me cry. 😂

My personality test always gives me INFJ (Advocate): a personality type with the Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging traits. They tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. Their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things.

33. The last adventure you've been on?

The last one technically was my last December trip to Bath with my best friend Jade. We had a seasonally fun time, bought trinkets, went to the Roman Baths and the Abbey, it was lovely.

However, the trip I want to talk about is the one I took to Belfast in early November! Same old train troubles (thanks privatisation), but I also took a plane for the first time in over a decade, my 28-year-old self had forgotten what it was like to fly and for some reason was really excited to fly in a window seat. My best friend, Bee, didn't know how to tell me I would hate it. (Because she knows how I feel about heights, lol.) Not wanting to make me worry, she let me discover it on my own, and boy I hated it, I was literally putting out my hands to grip the seat in front every time the plan dipped a little. 😂

We had a really cool time going to an antiques and curiosities warehouse, On The Square Emporium. A really emotional time visiting the Titanic Museum, which is hands down the most amazing museum I've ever been to. (Also it's one of my special interests.) We went to the Ulster Museum and looked at all sorts, but especially dinosaurs! We got tattoos on the fly whilst we were there which was really fun, we both saw the sign that said "Walk-ins ->" and our eyes lit up! We had room service in our Premier Inn which was so funny to us, we saw cool street art, and walked through all the different quarters. We bought "nice tat" from the souvenir shops that are around Belfast. We sat in the sunshine and ate our Tim Hortons several days in a row, we were so excited to have access to a Timmy's! We also went to the Botanic Gardens and I took some beautiful photos of Bee in the rose garden during golden hour. And sweetest of all as we were walking past a pub, we heard them playing Friends In Low Places by Garth Brooks - we both love him, so we sat on a bench in the sunshine and enjoyed that moment together. It was such a great trip, and ugh, I just miss fun adventures!

44. You get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

Man, just a free pass? Literally any one of the world leaders who unabashedly contribute and financially benefit from the dehumanisation and annihilation of entire populations all over the world for one justification or another.

Thanks so much for this, Jen, it gave me plenty to talk to about! 🥰

[secretsofblackthornhall]

Emma To Bruce

Dear Bruce,

We went back to Devil Tavern today with Jem’s advice (bring family rings, show to bartender, gain access to secret room). I don’t know, the Devil Tavern seems to really like elaborate ways of getting in places? So we went in and there was some confusion because when we were there before I heard one of the customers call the bartender “Ernie,” so we asked one of the waitresses for Ernie, and she said there was no Ernie. But then, because we were Shadowhunters she thought we were there to question Ernie about something, so I figured she was just covering up for Ernie and I said, “No, it’s okay, you can tell Ernie he’s not in any trouble,” and the waitress looked even more baffled and said there was no Ernie…we went around like that a few times.

Anyway eventually the bartender comes back up from the basement or wherever he was, and he explains that he is Fred, not Ernie, but that for many many years the bartender was named Ernie, his grandfather and his great-grandfather at least were both named Ernie. So most of the vampires and faeries who have been coming since the Time of Ernies have just stubbornly refused to learn any of the newer bartenders’ names. He tried, when he was a younger man, but they just laughed and said, “That’s a good one, Ernie.” He sounded kind of sad when he said it. I guess everyone has their weird stuff they have to deal with.

We explained to Not Ernie about what Jem had told us, and we showed him our rings. He said yeah, there’s an old room that used to be used by Shadowhunters for clandestine meetings, upstairs. There are instructions left that go back a hundred years that say the room has to be maintained for the use of Shadowhunters, even though none have come around for a long time. They take it really seriously though.

He brought us the key from somewhere—one of those old skeleton key type keys you never see anymore—and we went upstairs and let ourselves in. Let me tell you, Bruce, they do not think being obligated to “maintain” the room means they are obligated to “dust” the room. Absolute nightmare for an asthmatic.

The room is still intact, though—actually, it’s more like a tiny apartment (a “bedsit,” Julian adorably called it), with a tiny bedroom off of a sitting area with a table in the middle and a rather shabby couch. It’s not like the rest of the tavern at all, it feels like you’d imagine a study room in the oldest library at the oldest college in Oxford would feel. Books everywhere, lots of big chunky carved wood, people’s initials carved into the table (note for people scratching their initials into tables: include your last initials! It makes it much easier for your descendants to figure out who you were! There could be a million people named “J!”).

There was nothing obviously ghostly, so Julian used the Sensor we got from Ty. It didn’t find much, but eventually it reacted near a particular book on one of the shelves built into the wall. We pulled it out and it seems to be a handwritten book, with a really elaborate stitched cover. It was called The Beautiful Cordelia and it’s by “L.H.” I would bet any amount of money “H” stands for Herondale. But there was nothing magical about the book. I mean, I didn’t read it yet; maybe it weaves a truly magical tale. But the Sensor didn’t react much to the book itself, there was nothing in between any of the pages, the ink wasn’t sparkly, etc.

Eventually we thought to kneel down and look into the space on the shelf where the book had come from, and sure enough, there was a little nook carved deeper into the wall. Julian and I agreed that in that nook was definitely…a ton of spiders. So we rock-paper-scissorsed for it, I lost, and stuck my hand back there. Luckily, no spiders. Instead, a surprise: an antique metal flask! Like the kind a gentleman would keep in his coat pocket. It is silver—well, at least the color is silver. It might be pewter. It is also definitely not a “band.”

BUT. The Sensor went bananas. We put the flask on the table and the Sensor next to it and it wailed like crazy. It looks like a normal flask to me, kind of blackened with time, and it’s not like when we opened it, a ghost slithered out. I don’t know. It was empty, and the Sensor didn’t react to anything else in the room. We hung out there for about half an hour even after we were done, though. The place did feel comfortable, it must have been really great in its day. I thought I might go back sometime and offer to pay Fred if he would have it dusted and cleaned. There’s probably stuff in there the London Institute would want, too. But that’s for when we’re done with Blackthorn House (and its ghost).

We couldn’t think of anything to do with the flask there at the Tavern, so we left and locked it up and returned the key. We brought the flask into the house, and Julian went to get the silver polish. When we cleaned the flask up, we saw that it had a pretty, elaborate tracery pattern of leaves and flowers on it, and was monogrammed. Not a Herondale this time. Not a Blackthorn, either. The initials were M.F.

Julian is squinting angrily at the witchlight I’m holding to write this. I guess it is pretty late. Good night, Bruce. Good night, groovy bedroom. Good night, ghost. Good night, mysterious flask.

Good night, Julian my love.

— Emma

[itsclydebitches]

The Bad Batch: A Crosshair Analysis

Hello, Star Wars fandom! I have just completed watching—and loving—The Bad Batch, which you know means I now need to dump all my thoughts about the first season into the tumblr void. Specifically, thoughts on the complicated drama that is Crosshair. I have no doubt that the majority of what I’m about to say will be old news to anyone who watched the show when it came out (I’m slow...), but I’m writing it all out anyway. Largely for my own sanity enjoyment :D

I want to preface all of this by saying that the above is not an exaggeration. I love the show and I love the entire cast. My enjoyment in each of the characters is directly connected to my enjoyment of the season as a whole, which I say because I’m about to get pretty critical towards some of the characters’ choices and, to a lesser extent, the writing choices that surround those. Does this mean I secretly hate The Bad Batch? Quite the opposite. I’m invested, which is presumably just what Filoni wants. I’m just hoping that investment pays off. 

But enough of the disclaimers. Let’s start with the matter of the inhibitor chip. I’ve seen fans take some pretty hard stances on both sides: Crosshair is completely innocent because he’s definitely been under the chip’s control this whole time, no matter what he might say. Crosshair is completely guilty because he said the chip was removed a long time ago and he chose to do all this, no moral wiggle room allowed. However, the reality is that we don’t know enough to make a clear call either way. The audience, simply put, does not have all the necessary information. What we have instead is a couple of facts combined with claims that may or may not be reliable. Let’s lay them out:

Crosshair was definitely under the chip’s control at the start of the series.

He was able to resist it to a certain extent, resulting in a pressure to obey orders coupled with a primary loyalty to his squad. See: telling Hunter to follow the Empire’s commands—which includes killing kid Padawans—but not turning his team in as traitors when they did not. It’s an in-between space.

Crosshair’s chip was then amplified to an unknown extent. I’m never going to claim I’m a Star Wars aficionado—I’m a casual fan, friends. Please don’t yell at me over obscure lore lol—but within TBB’s canon, no one else is undergoing that experimentation. The effects of this are entirely unknown, which includes Crosshair’s free will, or lack thereof.

Crosshair then becomes a clear tool of the Empire, hunting down innocents, killing on a whim, the whole, evil shebang.

In “Reunion” he’s caught by the engine and suffers severe burns to his face. One leaves a scar that covers precisely the place where the chip would have been extracted.

Removing the chip leaves its own scar behind. If Crosshair’s was removed, we can’t see that scar due to the burn.

After these events Crosshair seems to mellow a bit. He does horrible things under the Empire’s orders—like shooting the senator—but is still loyal to his squad—killing his non-clone teammates to give TBB a chance, saving AZ and Omega, etc.

Crosshair claims that his chip has already been removed. However, Crosshair is arguably an unreliable source if he’s been lied to or if the chip is still there, encouraging him to manipulate the team.

Crosshair claims it was removed a long time ago, which is incredibly imprecise. As we can see from just some of the events listed above, precisely when the chip came out—if it came out—makes a huge difference.

Hunter realizes this and presses for clarification, but Crosshair dodges giving it. Again, a legitimate belief that it doesn’t matter, or evidence that he can’t say because something else is going on? We don’t know.

Hunter checks Crosshair’s head and finds the burn scar which proves… nothing. As stated above, they wouldn’t be able to see the surgery scar one way or another: its existence or its absence. It’s useless data, as Tech might say. I’ve seen a few fans claim that Hunter was also feeling for the chip with his enhanced senses, but 1. I didn’t catch any evidence of that in the scene and 2. Even if we assume Hunter did that anyway, the chips are notoriously hard to spot. Fives and AZ couldn’t find the chip at first when examining Tup. Ahsoka had to use the force to find it in Rex. TBB themselves couldn’t find it at first in Wrecker. If machinery consistently fails to find the chip on the first couple of tries—it’s meant to be a hidden implant, after all—why would we believe Hunter’s senses could pick it up instantly? Maybe he missed it, or maybe it wasn’t there at all. 

Crosshair appears to be struggling with a headache in the finale, just as he was at the beginning of the season and just like Wrecker was for the first half.

The point of listing all this out is to emphasize how ambiguous this whole situation is. I don’t want to use this post to argue one way or another about whether Crosshair’s chip is really out. I have my preferred theory (the chip’s still in, but only partially functional), but at the end of the day none of this is conclusive. The writing takes us in what I hope is deliberate circles. Crosshair says the chip is out? Crosshair is not a reliable source of information until we know if the chip is out. What other evidence is there that the chip is gone? A scar? We can’t see if there’s a scar. Hunter’s abilities? He only checked once for a canonically hard to find implant—if he actually checked at all. And why would the Empire want the chip out? Well, maybe it has to do with that push towards willing soldiers, but if that were the case, why leave Crosshair behind and have the “clones die together”? By that point he was one of the most willing, chip or not. Did they have to take it out because of the engine accident? Pure speculation. We just don’t know and THAT is the point I want to make.

Because it means the rest of the Bad Batch didn’t know either.

The core issue I have here is not whether the chip is in or out, or even how long it may have been in if it is out now. The issue is that TBB spent 99% of the first season believing that Crosshair was under the chip’s influence… and they didn’t try to do anything about that. They abandoned him. They left a man behind. Does this make them all horrible monsters? Of course not! This shit is complicated as hell, but I do think they made a very large mistake and that Crosshair has every right to be furious about it.

“But, Clyde, they couldn’t have gone back. It was too dangerous! Hunter had a duty to his whole team, not just Crosshair.” True enough and I’d buy this argument 100% if Hunter hadn’t spent the entire season throwing his team into dangerous, seemingly impossible situations to save other people. Crosshair became the exception, not a hard rule of something they had to avoid. They went back to Kamino for Omega, a kid they’d only had one lunch with, despite knowing how dangerous the Empire was. They went into the heart of an occupied planet to rescue not just a stranger, but one belonging to the Separatist government. They helped Sid when she asked and there was plenty of compassion for the criminal trying to take her place. Most significantly, there wasn’t the slightest hesitation to go rescue Hunter when he was under the Empire’s control, in precisely the same place. Every explanation I’ve seen fans come up with—Kamino is too fortified, they don’t know where Crosshair is, they can’t risk Omega being captured, etc.—also holds true for Hunter, yet there wasn’t a second of doubt about needing to at least try to help him. And his rescue was arguably far more dangerous given that TBB knew they were walking into a trap. Going after Crosshair would have at least had some element of surprise.

I think the problem with these justifications is most easily seen in “Rescue on Ryloth” and, later, “War-Mantle.” In the former, we do watch Hunter decide that going on a rescue mission is too much of a risk, only for Omega to talk him into considering it.

Hunter: “It’s a big galaxy. We can’t put ourselves on the line every time someone’s in trouble.”

Omega: “Why not? Isn’t that what soldiers do?”

Hunter: “It’s not worth the risk.”

Omega: “She’s trying to save her family, Hunter. I’d do the same for you.”

The arguments that sway him are ‘Soldiers should help people’ and ‘Soldiers should specifically help their family.’ So… what does that say about their feelings for Crosshair? They’re willing to put themselves on the line for the parents of a girl they met once at a drop site, but not their own brother? That’s the message the writing sends. “But, Clyde, the difference is that they had an advantage here. Hera’s knowledge of her home planet tipped the odds in their favor.” Yeah… and Crosshair is stationed on TBB’s home planet. Even more than them collectively having the same knowledge that Hera does, “Return to Kamino” reveals that Omega always had additional, insider knowledge of the base: she has access to a secret landing pad and the tunnels leading up into the city. That knowledge was given and used the second Hunter’s freedom was on the line, but it never once came up to use for Crosshair’s benefit. 

“War-Mantle’s” mission puts this problem in even sharper relief. Another claim I’ve seen a lot is that TBB only took risky rescue missions because they needed to be paid. The guys have got to eat after all. Yet Tech makes it clear that going after Gregor will lose them money. They’re meant to be on a mission for Sid and deviating for that won’t result in a payment. He explicitly says that if they decide to do this, they won’t eat. They do it anyway. No money, no intel, a huge risk “on a clone we don’t even know.” But that’s not what’s important, the show says. All that matters is that a brother is in trouble. This time it’s Echo pushing that message instead of Omega. When Hunter realizes that they’re about to try and infiltrate an entire facility and they don’t even know if this clone is still alive, Echo points out that they took that risk once before: for him. “If there’s a chance that trooper is being held against his will, we have to try and get him out.”

Yes! Exactly right! So why doesn’t that apply to Crosshair?

“Because he tried to kill them, Clyde!” No, that’s the easy, dismissive answer. A chipped Crosshair tried to kill them. AKA, a Crosshair entirely under the Empire’s control. The only difference between his enslavement and Gregor’s is that Gregor’s chains were physical while Crosshair’s were mental. And again, the point of everything at the start of this post is to show that no one knows when or even if that chip was removed. TBB definitely didn’t have any reason to suspect that Crosshair was working under his own power until Crosshair himself said as much. We might have been able to make that case at the start of the season, but “Battle Scars” removes any possible confusion. The entire team watched Rex reach for his blaster when he learned their chips were still in. The entire team watched Wrecker become a totally different person and attack them, just like Crosshair did. The entire team forgave him instantly and had their own chips removed. So why in the world didn’t anyone go, “Wow, Crosshair has a chip too. He was no more responsible for attacking us than Wrecker was. We need to try to get him out, no matter how hard that might be, just like we had to try for all these other people we’ve helped.”

But they didn’t. No one even considered rescuing Crosshair. They only went back for Hunter and, when they realized Crosshair was there too, they didn’t change their plans to try and rescue him as well. He’s treated as a particularly threatening inconvenience, not another team member in need of their help.

The problem I have with how this all went down is that the team treated Crosshair like an enemy despite all evidence to the contrary. Despite Omega outright saying that this isn’t his fault, it’s the chip, the group seems to decide that he’s gone crazy or something and that there’s nothing they can do. “It’s fine,” I thought. “They don’t really get what the chip is like yet. They don’t understand how thoroughly it controls someone.” But then “Battle Scars” arrives and Wrecker is treated with such compassion (which he deserves!) only for the group to continue acting like Crosshair is somehow different. It’s easy to say, “But Crosshair shot Wrecker” and ignore the easy pushback of, “and Wrecker nearly shot Omega.” Up until Crosshair’s own accusations and Omega’s ignored comments, TBB’s understanding of the chip’s influence and the lack of responsibility that accompanies mysteriously disappears when the show’s antagonist becomes the subject of conversation. This is seen most clearly in how Hunter tries to frame things during his talk with Crosshair:

“You tried to kill us. We didn’t have a choice.”

“Can’t you see that they’re using you? It’s that inhibitor chip in your head.”

“You really don’t get who we are, do you?”

Hunter mentions the chip, but he acts as if it’s Crosshair’s responsibility to overcome it: “Can’t you see…” Of course he can’t see, that’s the entire point of the chip, the thing he currently believes Crosshair still has stuck in his head. But Hunter and the others—with Omega as a wonderful exception—never seem to have accepted this like they did for Wrecker. When Crosshair “tried to kill us” it’s seen as a deliberate act that he chose, not something forced on him like with Wrecker. When Hunter talks about their ethics, he subconsciously separates the team from Crosshair: “You really don’t get who we are, do you?”, revealing a pretty ingrained divide between them. Even Wrecker gets in on the action, the one brother who truly understands how much the chip controls someone: “All that time, you didn’t even try to come back.” What part of he couldn’t try is not hitting home here? Again, for the purposes of this conversation it doesn’t matter whether Crosshair was chipped this whole time or not. The point is that TBB believed he was chipped… and yet still expected him to somehow, magically overcome that programming, writing him off when he failed to do that. He’s consistently held responsible for actions that they were told (and, through Wrecker, saw) were completely outside of his control. Even when we factor in his claim that the chip was removed, TBB has ignored all the evidence I listed at the start. No one, not even Omega, challenges this super vague and strange claim, or seeks out proof because they don’t want to believe that their brother could willingly do this. There’s just this... acceptance that of course Crosshair went bad. Why? Because he was an asshole sometimes? Taking it all as written, it doesn’t feel like the batch considered him a true part of the team. Certainly not like Wrecker or Hunter. As shown, the batch will go out of their way, risk anything, forgive anything, for them. They have a level of faith that was never shown to Crosshair. 

“Severe and unyielding,” Tech says and he’s absolutely right, but I’d seriously challenge this idea that any of the others would have automatically done better if the situations were reversed. It stood out to me that each batch member has a moment of doubt throughout the series, a brief glimpse into how they think the Empire isn’t that bad, at least when it comes to this particular thing. Basically, a moment that could lead to a very dangerous line of thinking without others to stomp it down. Wrecker announces that he’s happy working for whoever, provided they give him food and let him blow things up. Tech finds the chain codes to be an ingenious strategy and is clearly fascinated with their development. Hunter initially wants Omega to stay on Kamino, despite knowing that this Empire has already, systematically killed an entire group of people: the Jedi. Doesn’t matter. She’s still (supposedly) safer there than she would be running with the likes of them.

There’s absolutely no doubt that those three made the correct choice in defying the Empire, but I believe that their ability to make that choice is largely dependent on them having each other. They survive together, not apart, and it’s their unity that allows them to make the really hard calls, like setting out on their own and opposing such a formidable force. But if Tech’s chip had activated and he’d been left behind, would he have muscled through to escape somehow...or would he have gotten caught up in all the new technology the Empire offered him, succumbing to both his chip and the inevitability that if his squad no longer wanted him, why not stay? Would Wrecker have escaped, or been easily manipulated into a new life of exploding things? Would Hunter have been able to push through without his brothers, or would he have become devoted to a new team to lead? Obviously there’s no way to ever know, but it’s always easier to make the right decisions when you have support in doing so. Crosshair had no support. His team left him and yes, they had to in that specific moment, but the point is that they never came back. As far as we saw throughout the season, they never planned to come back. They all talk about loving the Crosshair who existed when life was easier, but they weren’t willing to fight for the Crosshair that most needed their help. When he says “You weren’t loyal to me,” he’s absolutely right. The same episode, “Return to Kamino,” gives Omega two powerful lines that the group rallies behind:

Omega: “[The danger] doesn’t matter. Saving Hunter is what matters.”

AZ: “You must leave.”

Omega: “Not without Hunter.”

The key word there is “Hunter.” Danger, stakes, risk, probability… none of that matters when Hunter needs help. Crosshair did not receive that same level of devotion.

Which creates a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. The group is upset that Crosshair isn’t rejoining them, but they fail to realize that he has no reason to trust them anymore. He’s not joining the Empire because he’s inherently evil and that’s that, end of discussion. He’s joining it because above all Crosshair wants a place to belong… and TBB has made it clear—unintentionally—that he does not belong with them. The horrible actions that Crosshair took under his own free will (theoretically) came after he realized that doing bad things while under the Empire’s control was, apparently, unforgivable. If it wasn’t, his team would have come back to rescue him. They could have at least tried. But they didn’t, so Crosshair is left with the conclusion that either what he did under the Empire’s control is something the group can’t forgive him for, or they can forgive that (like with Wrecker) and he’s the problem here. He’s the one not worth that effort.

“The Empire will be fazing out clones next,” Hunter says. To which Crosshair responds, “Not the ones that matter.”

He wants to matter to someone and events show he no longer matters to his brothers. So why not stay with the Empire? I mean, we as the audience ABSOLUTELY know why not. Self-doubt and feelings of isolation aren’t excuses for joining the Super Evil Organization. Crosshair, if he is under his own control, is still 100% in the wrong for supporting them, no matter his reasons. So it’s not an excuse, but rather an explanation of that very human, flawed, fallible thinking. He needs to be useful. He needs to be wanted. Crosshair is an absolute dick to the regs and I have no doubt that a lot of that stems from the harassment TBB has experienced from them (with a side of his inflated ego), but I’d bet it’s also due to Crosshair’s intense desire to be valuable to someone. He keeps pointing out the regs’ supposed deficiencies because it highlights his own usefulness. When Crosshair fails to find Hera, the Admiral says that soon he’ll get someone who can, looking straight at Howzer at the door. It makes Crosshair seethe because his entire identity is based on being useful, yet no one seems to need him anymore. TBB seems to no longer want him. The Empire no longer wants clones. Now even regs are considered a better option than him, the “superior” soldier. Everywhere Crosshair turns he’s getting the message that he’s not wanted, but he’ll keep fighting to at least be needed in some capacity, no matter how small. Even if that means overlooking all the horrors the Empire commits.

“All you’ll ever be to [the Empire] is a number,” Hunter says and he’s absolutely right. But to TBB recently, Crosshair hasn’t even been that. He’s been nothing. Nobody worth coming back for. To his mind, at least being a number is something.

I hope that all of this resolves itself into a conclusion that is kind to each side (preferably without a Vader-style death redemption), especially given the still ambiguous state of the chip, but from a writing standpoint I’m admittedly a bit wary. We’re obviously meant to believe that the batch all love each other, but as established throughout this entirely too long post, this season did a terrible job imo of proving that they love Crosshair. Or, at least, proving that they love him as much as the others. If this was really meant to be just a matter of miscommunication, with Crosshair making terrible life choices because he only thinks he was abandoned, then we as the audience would have seen the batch trying and failing to get him out. Or at least establishing a very good reason why they couldn’t take that risk, hopefully with entirely different side-missions so the audience isn’t constantly going, “So you can risk everything for Gregor... but not Crosshair?” I’m VERY glad that Crosshair was allowed to air his grievances to the extent he did, but the end result of that—Hunter continually denying this, Omega walking away from him in their rooms, neither Tech nor Wrecker actually sticking up for him and acknowledging the chip’s influence during at least some of all this—is making things feel rather one-sided. It’s like we’re meant to take Crosshair at his word and accept that he’s this garden-variety antagonist who joins the Empire because yay being on the winning side… despite all these complications that clearly have a huge impact on how we read the situation. It doesn’t help that the show has already embraced an inconsistent manner of portraying chipped-clones. We know every clone has one, we know only a couple clones are aware of the chip’s existence (and can thus try to get it out), we know they enter a “Good soldiers follow orders” mindlessness once activated… yet towards the end we see a lot of side character clones thinking for themselves. Howzer decides that he’s no longer loyal to the Empire, giving a speech where a couple other clones throw down their weapons too. Gregor was arrested because he likewise realized how wrong this all was. But how is that possible? Do the chips completely control the clones, or not? Are these clones somehow exceptions? Are the chips beginning to fail? All of that has a bearing on how we read Crosshair—what were his own decisions, how much he was capable of overcoming the chip, whether that changed at all during certain points—but right now that remains really unclear.

It’s details like that which make me wonder if all these other questions will be answered. Will the story resolve all those ambiguous moments surrounding the chip, or brush them off with the belief that we should have just taken Crosshair at his equally ambiguous word? Will the story acknowledge Crosshair’s points through someone other than Crosshair, allowing it to exist as a legitimate criticism, rather than the presumed excuses of an antagonist? I’m… not sure. On the whole I’m very happy with TBB’s writing—despite what all this might imply lol. Until my brain picks over the season and discovers something else, my only other gripe is not allowing Omega to form a solid bond with Tech and Echo, instead putting all the focus on big brother!Wrecker and dad!Hunter. I think it’s a solid show that does a lot right, but I’m worried that, unless there’s a brilliant answer to all these questions and an intent to unpack both sides of the Hunter vs. Crosshair debate with respect—not just falling back on, “Well, Crosshair is with the Empire so everything he says is automatically bad and wrong” take—we’ve just gotten the setup for a somewhat messy, ethical story. For anyone here who also reads my RWBY metas, I’m pretty sure you’re not at all surprised that I’m invested in going, “Hey, you had one of the heroes suddenly become/join a dictatorship and do a lot of horrific things, but within a pretty complicated context. Can we please work through that carefully and with an acknowledgement of the nuance here, rather than throwing the ‘evil’ character to the proverbial wolves?”  

God knows TBB is leagues ahead of RWBY, but I hope things continue on in not just a good direction, but one that tackles the aspects of this situation that many fans—and Crosshair—have already pointed out. As much as I adore the cast—and I really, really do—it was discomforting to watch a found family show where 4/5th of that family so completely wrote off one of the members and crucially have, at least so far, refused to acknowledge that. I want complicated, flawed characters, but that’s only compelling when the storytelling admits to and grapples with those flaws. We have quite firmly established Crosshair’s flaws in Season One. I hope Season Two delves into the rest of the team’s too.

Aaaand with that meta-dump out of my system, I’m off to write TBB fic. Thanks for reading! :D

[jigzigsaw]

Being Ava Emory’s Student Would Include...

female asa emory x female reader headcanons

disclaimer: reader is 18+, legal age gap, sfw & nsft headcanons

SFW

- lots of calling on you in class. whether it’s to embarrass you for not paying attention or just because she feels like picking on someone, you’re usually the victim of her random questions. you get most of them correct..

- ava being the only one not looking at you when you dress like that. black tights, high heels, even a mini skirt..you had tried it all. and all of it left her unimpressed. well, you guess that’s expected. she was older, must have seen it all. little did you know she was stealing glances at your legs.

- “right you are, my spider”, those words made you feel light headed as the older woman praised you for grasping something your peers hadn’t even tried to understand further. you would definitely stay after class to hear those words again, as unprofessional as they were.

- sucking up to ava. buying her coffee, breakfast, showing her pictures of bugs you saw over the weekend, and most suck-up of all; buying her an expensive perfume for christmas that you had smelled on her and identified by talking to a pretentious store owner at the mall. (you had actually bought two of the perfume, the extra you had kept to spray on your pillow to embarrassingly pretend she was with you.)

- going outside of town to go on dates (when you guys finally start learning how to take hints ofc) people talk, there’s no way in hell ava will stand for your peers or her own making assumptions about you two...although the assumptions would be right. of course she’d never manipulate your grade just because you’re dating, she enjoys seeing you work hard in her class and if you weren’t then you guys would have no reason for “tutoring” either. but expect to go to lavish restaurants where you’ll feel a little embarrassed by how out of place your college girl wardrobe looks; ava’s trench coat will be wrapped around you by the end of the night anyways..but because you’re insecure and totally not because she’s jealous of peoples’ wandering eyes.

NSFT (18+ beyond this point)

- calling ava by dominant masculine terms. ma’am, mistress..they just didn’t fit her. she much prefers sir, or if you’re into that sorta thing, daddy.

- your tights, stockings, fishnets, etc are not safe. you’ll be lucky if you can keep a pair of any of your tights if you’re having sex with ava. she’s a stressed woman, especially during finals week. she’ll rip holes in your fishnets for easy access, stuff your tights into your mouth or pussy, etc.

- ava being turned on by your fear. the longer you’re with her, the more honest she’ll be in bed. of course you knew she was strange with her tastes but it wasn’t until she had you fucked out of your mind on her office desk with a tarantula crawling on your face, threatening to punish you if you screamed, that you realized just how hardcore she was. “what is it my little spider? she’d spit at you, your teary eyes finding trouble focusing as your hands clasped over your mouth as the tarantula crawled on your face. it was hard to focus on the fingers inside of you when the many tiny hairy ones on top of you were moving dangerously close to your eyes.

- weird insertions. ava isn’t too fond of dildos or vibes, she would much rather see you get ‘creative’. masturbating with her pen, rubbing her clothing on yourself, or on your knees, clinging to her leg begging her to step on your pussy are just some of the ways she prefers it.

- kissing you after going down on you. she wants to see that look in your eyes after you taste yourself on her lips. your smeared lipstick, those starry eyes, and that tongue of yours that’s begging for her to come back after she breaks the kiss..the sight of it all is too much for dr. emory.

[batmansymbol]

hi riley! read this recently and would love to get ur perspective on this as a YA author https://tinyletter.com/misshelved/letters/did-twitter-break-ya-misshelved-6

hi anon! yeah, i read this the day it was posted. thoughts/supplementary essay below.

firstly, i'd put a big "I AGREE" stamp across this essay. i think it's well-cited and thoughtful, and i agree with pretty much everything in it. i especially appreciate it for introducing me to the terms "context collapse" and "morally motivated networked harassment" - seeing internet sociology studied and labeled is ... odd, but useful.

i left twitter in 2017, but i keep an eye on things, which seem similar now to the way they were four years ago. the essay describes the never-ending scrutiny, the need to seem perfect, and the pressure on writers to out themselves. all of that is spot-on. twitter is an outing machine. there is so much harassment and anger on the platform that in serious conversations, good-faith engagement becomes something that must be earned, rather than something that's expected. and in order to earn good faith, strangers expect you to offer up an all-access pass to who you are. otherwise, things might take a swift left turn into verbal abuse.

obviously twitter is a cesspit of harassment from racist, homophobic, and transphobic people, but i think the most painful harassment comes from within the community. i, and most people i know, wouldn't give a single minuscule little fuck if ben shapiro's entire army of ghouls came after us and told us we were destroying the sacred values of Old America or whatever. but the community at large does care about issues of racial justice and queer liberation and economic justice. which is why it's painful to see this supposed "community" eating its own over and over again.

how cruel can we be to people and pretend that we are their friends? that's the emotional crux of the essay to me. what we're doing to ourselves - people who do share our values and want to achieve the same goals - because this one platform is built on rewarding the quickest, most brutal, and most public response.

god forbid you don't have your identity figured out. god forbid you have an invisible disability, or are writing a story about something sensitive you've personally experienced but had an off-consensus reaction to. on twitter, if you are not a paragon of absolute and immediate clarity, you may as well be lower than dirt morally, because you're unable to do what the platform requires of you: air every private corner of your identity, up to and including your trauma, to justify not only your everyday actions and opinions but also your art.

(this is all honestly incompatible with interesting art, but i'll get to that in a bit.)

it doesn't take a genius to see how troubling this environment is when combined with twitter as a marketing tool. i remember that around the time of my debut, i'd tweet out threads of private, painful, personal stuff, which felt terrible to recount, but i'd watch the like count increase with this sense of catholic, confessional satisfaction. all of this was tied to the idea of my potential salability as a writer.

i was around 21 at the time. i felt a lot of pressure as a debut. i wanted people to like me and think i was exceptionally mature and confident. i wanted to do my job and build buzz for my book. i saw that all these publishing professionals and authors spent day in, day out angry and exhausted on twitter. every few days, a new person fifteen years older than me would say, "i can't take this anymore, i'm so fucking tired of this, i'm logging off for a while." i thought, well, this must be how online activism feels: like running on a sprained ankle.

i can still remember book after book after book that inspired blow-ups, big explanations, and simmering resentment: carve the mark (whose author was forced to admit that she suffered chronic pain after relentless criticism of that element), the black witch (a book explicitly about unlearning racism that was criticized for depicting ... racism), ramona blue (a book about a bi girl who thinks she's a lesbian but winds up in an m/f relationship, because she's still discovering her identity) ... etc

each book, each incident, followed the same pattern. firestorms of anger, a decision of where to place blame, the desperate need for a single consensus opinion in the community. i think a lot of people on book twitter see these as bugs inherent to the platform, but really, in twitter's eyes, they're features. the angrier and more upset twitter's userbase is, the more reliant they are on the platform.

i wound up leaving around the time i realized that not only was twitter making me anxious - NOT being on twitter was beginning to make me anxious, because of vaguely dread-infused tweets all around like "i'm seeing an awful lot of people who are staying silent about X. ... why are so many people who are so loud about X so silent about Y?" etc.

that shit is beyond poisonous. people will not always be logged on. the absence of someone's agreement does not mean disagreement. actually, someone's absence is not inherently meaningful, because it is the internet and silence is everyone's default position; internet silence in all likelihood means that that person is out in the universe doing other things.

this is already a ridiculously long response, so i'll try to wrap up. firstly, i think that progressive writers and readers have GOT to stop thinking that a correct consensus opinion can exist on every piece of fiction, and on every issue in general, and that if someone diverges from that consensus, they're incorrectly progressive.

secondly, i think that progressive writers and readers have got to uncouple the idea of a "book with good politics" from a good book, because 1) there are books about morally grimy, despicable subjects that help us process the landscape of human behavior, and

2) if, in your fiction, there is only one set of allowed responses for your protagonist, you will write the same person over and over and over again. you see this a lot in religious fiction. the person is not a human being but an expression of the creator's moral alignment. (not entirely surprising that this similarity to religious correctness might crop up with the current state of the movement. i read this piece around the time i left twitter and it shook me really, really deeply.)

i understand that in YA, there's a sensation of immense pressure because people want to model good politics and correct behavior for kids. this is a noble idea - and maybe twitter is great for people who want to be role models. but i've become more and more staunchly against the idea of artist as role model. the role of the writer is not to be emulated but to write fiction. and the role of fiction is not to read like something delivered from a soapbox, or to display some scrubbed-clean universe where each wrong is immediately identified as a wrong, and where total morality is always glowing in the backdrop. it's to put something human on paper, and as human beings, we might aspire to total morality, but we fall short again and again. honestly, that's what being on twitter showed me more clearly than anything.

[furvillaconfessions]

I had the kind of parents who would block sites to keep me safe. I don't see how that's wrong. I grew up to be quite normal, even if the 14 year old me got in quite a lot of danger in places like Gaia Online (remember that place?). I was open about my experiences because I trusted my parents. My parents were concerned about my online experience, so they blocked a few sites from me. I felt a bit sad about it because I genuinely didn't think it was that big of a deal (I didn't realize I was being groomed at the time), but I learned to behave better online and be more private and I was allowed to use the sites again. Personally, I think it's great when your parents care enough, even if it means blocking your favorite site.

Is it maybe a bit paranoid to block any site that has adults? Yes. Does that help with keeping the minor safe? Kind of. Just because a site/game/etc. is safe for a minor, doesn't mean there won't be adults using it too. Also unfortunately, anyone can lie about their age and be a 40 year old pretending to be a 14 year old. It's just how the internet is. If you want to be 100% safe, don't let the minor use the internet at all. I'm sure they'd love that! /s

Personally? I think blocking sites is fine, but even more than that, I wish parents would teach their kids about oversharing things online. You have no idea how many 13-16 year olds I've seen make one of those Carrds and how they basically share their real name, the school they go to, a selfie, any mental illness and/or disability they have... It's scary. Please teach the minors to be safer online and if you're a minor, please don't overshare, no matter how mature you think you are! Some of you overshare so much that I could probably find you in real life if I'd want to and I'll have you know, I don't want that. The problem is, what if a predator sees all this information? They might actually want to find you in real life. I understand it sounds scary when I put it that way, but it's the unfortunate truth. As much as the internet brings us good things, it also brings us bad things.

Please be careful online. This comes from a stranger who almost got in some serious trouble due to being overly trusting and oversharing because of it. I had a friend and she was in a similar situation, except she actually got in trouble and her parents got so worried, they never let her go online again. What happened traumatized her and while she knew it was for her own good, she was very upset for losing the internet access. So please, be careful. It truly is a wild west out there.

[azazelsconfessional]

((so i was gonna open up my askbox again but I got distracted doing this and watching streams i think idr what i did the past few hours, buuut there's something I need to cover first, especially since there are so many new people around! Hello! Especially since so many of you are playing OCs/MCs.

Don't worry, it's a tip to hopefully help you along! It may get a little long, especially as I try and provide examples. . .but hopefully it'll help.

I'm gonna talk a lot about OCs but this applies to canon characters too a bit. It certainly helps.

Tl;dr, you should have a character profile page.

(also remember that tumblr mobile doesn't really have direct access to Pages made with the Pages function on desktop, so you'll have to link them manually in your pinned or description or host them on another site(I used Google Docs in the apst) or in a regular post(this makes it very easy to lose as a forewarning) for maximum accessibility!)

(rules pages are also really really handy if you have alot of resteictions.)

So, in general, OCs have a bit of a lower reception rate in rp. Idk if that'll be the case here with MCs because they're, well, the main character. Housamo is also a series that lends itself well to OCs pretty well, especially non-human ones, but I figured I'd warn for that.

BUT. That doesn't mean you shouldn't play an OC! It just means there are things you need to keep in mind!

Think of all of the OCs you've seen--you all seem to be fun and wonderful people, and your characters are surely interesting. But. . .if you don't tell anybody about them, nobody will know what's going on or where to start, which makes asking questions a little hard, right? That's easier to work around with MC characters--we've played the game, we know the story, we know the characters, so we can figure out questions fairly easily based on that alone and go from there.

But with other OCs, especially those that don't represent charactera from mythology or fiction like many other characters in housamo do, there's like. Nowhere to start. We may see a face or some dialogue, but otherwise we don't have a frame of reference.

That's where a profile comes in!

Azazel-mun, I don't want to share all of the info about my character at once!

What if I don't know everything about my OC yet and want to figure it out along thw way?

The profile doesn't have to be super detailed! At most it shoule include things like the character's name and age and probably things like their location, profession, grade in school or place of work, etc., and anything you'd notice on the surface like their apperance. It's never a bad thing to include a description of their personality too, or a small section about their history/background. Little things that even you should probably know, too.

You can also section your profile off a bit into things like "surface info," "meta info," "things you could easily figure out about them," etc. That way, no one can spoil themself. Making lists like this can help you think these things through if you haven't already as well.

Let's use Azazel, a character that you probably know already, as an example here. I don't have a profile set

Name: Azazel

Species: Fallen Angel; Capra Therian - an anthropomorphic Goat (?)

Gender(pronouns): Male(he/him)

Age: difficult to calculate; several thousand years old?

Apperance age: hard to say, he's not human. Adult.

Origins: banished from his home world of Eden, has been in the human world for several thousand years

Profession: Priest of dubious denomination, most likely Catholic or Protestant; teacher at Daikanyama Academy; de facto head of the Missionaries Non-Profit charity Organization; supervisor of the Aoyama Missionaries

Role & Rule: Watcher; Revelation - allows him to see anything within the territory of the Aoyama Missionaries and anywhere the pages of his Artifact see

Apperance: Azazel is a 5'10"(180cm) tall, anthropomorphic goat of ambiguous breed, with fawn fur all over his body and lighter fur on his head and around his neck. He has brown, riged horns which curve out and back. Though his eyes are often closed, when opened they're red. He always carried around a leather bound bible with an eye on the cover, and is never seen without several chains on his person, although only the one(s) around his neck can be seen unless he's undressed.

He wears a black priest's cassock with a maroon sash and a capelet of the same color, with the same eye as on his bible on the shoulders of the cape, and brown dress shoes. The front of the robe is always open to expose his bare chest and the chains beneath.

Personality: Azazel is kind and doting, very fitting of both a teacher and priest, although his openly flirtatious, lustful, and secretive nature causes others to distrust him. He doesn't mind this at all. He has a strong adoration for humans, and values love in all of its forms more than anything. He's a bit of a passive person, often being unmotivated but working hard regardless, and seems to prefer to watch others and the world go by, although he won't decline most invitations to take part in it. He is always aware of anything that happens within the extensive territory of the Missionaries, and seems to know and see just about everything about anyone he meets, from their surface to their soul. . . .

If you know Azazel, or take note of some of the wording or question marks, you'll note I didn't explain everything(although I may have shared more than you want to.) This is just a bare bones exampe of how I do my profiles--but it can get even more bare!

I'll do two this time, a more vague version of Azazel's, and another that obscures information all together, using the same or a similar format to the above.

Name: Azazel

Species: anthropomorphic goat

Gender(pronouns): male (he/him)

Age: unquestionably an adult

Origins: Eden

Profession: Priest; teacher; head of a charity NPO; member of the Missionaries

Apperance: Horned goatman of slightly above average human height. Light brown fur, blond fur-hair, red eyes. Wears priest robes and a gold chain around his neck and chest. Carries around a bible with an eye on it?

Personality: Kind of eerie, but friendly and affectionate. A little flirtatious, especially towards humans. Seems to know everything about people for some reason?

Compare it to the one before--see how I've left even more things off or left things ambiguous while still sharing what's necessary or surface level? However, it's also not as engaging or as informative as the other one where I gave more information.

As someone who plays him, profiles like this aren't as helpful for me lol since he knows so much about everyone and everything, having a lot of details helps me play my character!

Now, as helpful as this is, this is also a character you probably know. So how about I do this with an OC? Normally I'm extremely detailed in my profiles and such, especially for OCs, sharing headcanons and ideas for relationships between characters. But, again, I'll try and show how you can show some info while leaving some up to people to ask about to later be filled in.

Name: Kezia

Faceclaim/Art Source: [this is where you would put where you get the art for any icons you use--if you draw it yourself, say so; if you use official art from a series, credit the name of the character and the series; if you use picrews, link the specific picrews. DO NOT USE ART YOU HAVE NOT BEEN PERMITTED TO USE. DO NOT STEAL ART. IF YOU CAN'T FIND THE CREDIT, ASK SOMEONE TO HELP YOU, DO NOT JUST SAY THAT IT ISN'T YOURS. DO NOT USE ART YOU HAVE NOT BEEN GIVEN PERMISSION TO USE OR THAT ISN'T FROM A SERIES OF SOME SORT.]

Species: Human

Gender(pronouns): Female (she/her)

Age: mid 20's~early 30's?

Apperance age: older than she looks?

Origins: Tokyo?

Profession: Professor; Witch

Apperance: A fidgety woman who looks older than she is. She looks anxious and confused as often as she looks curious and confident. Wavy light brown hair. Often carries around schoolbooks and is never alone, always with a Rattus Therian and often with a Nyarlathotep.

Personality: seemingly anxious, but curious and exploratative nonetheless. On the awkward side, but can still keep up with the Nyarls that accompany her. Gets into trouble when she gets ahead of herself in exploring and learning about the arcane, but her Rule allows her to disappear easily.

History: Has always been curious about magic and attempted to run through a Gate when they began to open up. Performed a summon and brought a certain transients to Tokyo and recieved her familiar and the magic to use her Rule as a result. Currently teaches at a college. She stumbled into a certain someone while attempting to explore time, and became a fan ever since.

That tells you a fair amount, doesn't it? Even for someone you don't know? It may even raise some questions that you could ask. At the same time, it doesn't tell you that much, and that can be as much of a hindrance for coming up with questions as saying too much can. It's really up to you what's too much and too little. Here's a more detailed version! Some things have been left vague or confusing in such a way that they could be filled in after being revealed through asks and play. That way, people are encouraged to/given ideas of what to ask--and you can still share things in the long run.

Name: Kezia

Faceclaim/Art Source: [N/A]

Species: Human

Gender(pronouns): Female (she/her)

Age: mid 20's~early 30's?

Apperance age: somewhere in her 30's, maybe even a little older

Origins: Tokyo, with some sort of connection to at least one other world

Profession: Professor of [?] at [?] Academy; Witch

Role & Rule: [?] & [?]

Artifact, Summon, Familiar?: Always accompanied by at least one Nyarlathotep and some sort of man-rat? She also carries around a book that's labeled as a Grimoire, but it's rare for someone to be both a summon-user and an Artifact-user. . . .

Apperance: A fidgety older woman wearing a labcoat and a witch's hat. She looks quite stressed and has trouble sitting still. Her ashy brown hair is thin and a little wavy, with some strands of gray. Although she often squints, she doesn't wear glasses. She carries around a lot of books relating to maths and sciences and one labeled 'Grimoire' decorated with arcane symbols from Gehenna and Old Ones. She's always accompanied by at least one Nyarlathotep and a very short, bearded man who can best be described as a brown rat therian with a human-like face. Sometimes there's a normal rat on her person or in her pockets.

Personality: Kezia is a fidgety and anxious magic practitioner. She's very curious about other worlds and has been since the Gates appeared in this Tokyo since she was a child, however she has been pursuing magic before then. She often appears somewhat confused about or fascenated by even her usual surroundings, but, at other times moves through the world with confidence even in unfamiliar territory. She also likes rats and other rodents, and as such will often avoid felines and birds of prey. She has a tendency to disappear, seeming to walk through walls despite assuredly being alive.

She's a little bit awkward with people, but somehow keeps up with Nyarlathoteps nonetheless. She's a good teacher, once she figures out how to explain things in ways others can understand easily, but can be a bit difficult to follow and flighty up until then. Aware of this, she's rather patient, if a little down on herself at times. However, she most often simply has her mind elsewhere. Despite this and the company she keeps, she's relatively sane. . .most of the time.

She shares a name with a witch from the world of Old Ones who made a pact with Nyarlathotep, believing him to be the Devil. . .and the ratman always at her side uses the same name as that witch's familiar as well. It's. . .probably just a coincidence. . .who would rightfully make a pact with Nyarlathotep?

History: Kezia is an adult human from this Tokyo before the apperance of the Gates and construction of the Walls. She's explored various witchcraft pursuits since she was a child, with what was originally a mere imaginative curiosity and fascination. After the arrival of the Gates when she was still young, she snuck over the fences built around one and attempted to go inside the massive pillar of light, which she attributes to the reason she often seems to struggle with her vision. Several years later, she performed a successful summon and she recieved her familiar, Brown Jenkin, transformed into a somewhat therian form from one of her pet rats, and was given some powers from Nyarlathotep. She has no discernable control over any of the chaotic creatures, however they seem to spend time around her regardless.

At present she's a professor of a subject that interests her at a certain college. She's had other dangerous run-ins due to her excitement over the arcane and "darker" arts, but doesn't seem to show any signs of stopping. However, after an incident in an attempt to explore time itself, she encountered a certain guardian of time and feels reluctant for once to explore it further. . .although she's become quite a big fan of his.

. . .i ran out of steam amd kinda lost track of where i was going. idk if that helped at all really. But maybe it did! I hope it did. You don't need to use any of those things exactly by any means, but that's the kind of thing you usually see in profile pages. Basics like someone's name and birthday and age and apperance and a little about their personality, maybe some history. Oftentimes things like powers and weapons and the like. Interests, hobbies, ways they could be intereacted with, etc. Just stuff that'd help you know the character.

I write everything in paragraph form, but everyone is more than welcome to use a more script format. I love making profiles, myself--it really helps to think about the character and details about them. Normally I make really, really detailed profiles, but maybe I'll try and be more simple about it this time around. depends on how i'm feeling.

I know this seems weirdly hypocritical given I don't have one but when I first made this blog there were like four of us including myself. I didn't see the need for a rules or profile page because I didn't anticipate that there'd be so many of us or, like, people from other fandoms or who aren't familiar with certain characters. I'll rectify that soon hopefully. But I figured I'd pass along this idea/knowledge to others.

. . .I'm gonna go reopen my askbox now. Feel free to send asks again, ask about this, etc! You can send me an IM too if you want. I'll properly close up the guest event tomorrow. I'm real tired rn lol so idk how much i'll get done, but i usually do things super late at night my time, so i have some time to pull my shit together haha))

[badassxbirdy]

Real name — Tyler Sauveterre is her legal name, has gone by Tyler Walker for several years now.

Single or taken — Taken in her main verse, single in others.

Abilities or powers — Her cambion powers are now locked out of her reach in the main verse, though she remains immune to being turned by vampires, werewolves, etc. In other verses she still has access to telekinesis, creating tremors, pyrokinesis, and her eyes retain their yellow cambion colour as her darker self. Has an innate talent for spells, curses, etc. (Did I copy and paste this from the about page? Yes. Yes I did.)

Eye color — Brown, yellow when her powers are active.

Hair color — Ginger

Family members — She has an adopted family who we talk about constantly on this blog. As for Tyler’s family of origin: her dad is deceased, she doesn’t know if her mother is still alive, and her biological father is a big NOPE who she wishes to avoid at all cost. No extended family besides her grandparents who died during her teen years.

Pets — She lives in a house where there are pets, but doesn’t have any of her own. Keeping her cactus alive and healthy is enough pressure. 😂

Something they don’t like — Fish. Both in food form and living in water. They creep her out and she hates fishy tasting dishes.

Hobbies / activities — She’s currently experimenting with different things and trying to find a hobby that’s unconnected to hunting. RIP to the kitchen that will never be the same after her baking attempts. She loves to explore new places, abandoned places, and going on spontaneous road trips to some weird roadside attraction. But all of that still came out of hunting and aren’t really things she can do when she’s still afraid to go too far from home.

Ever hurt anyone before — *laughs in traumatic events*

Animals that represent them — I have a tag dedicated to Tyler being a cat, for shitposting and comedy purposes. If anyone has thoughts on what other animals would represent her well, I’d love to hear them!

Worst habits — Her compulsive need to help people and fix things leads to her being nosy af. She consistently pries into things she shouldn’t and doesn’t pick up on hints to stop. Tyler also has a terrible temper, and a mouth that isn’t always connected to her brain. It’s a miracle that she doesn’t get into physical altercations more regularly.

Role models — Henri, Mel, Elisiel, and Hannibal. See her relationships page for info on these folks.

Sexual orientation — Tragically straight. My condolences to her tbh.

Thoughts on marriage / kids — Marriage is something she never really thought about much, especially after leaving home when she thought long term relationships were off the table. If her man ever asked the answer would be yes, but marriage as an institution and a concept is not a big deal to her. Ty has never wanted kids and actually would not be able to birth her own. She will also tell you that keeping her current adopted family safe is quite enough trouble to deal with without the addition of tiny squishy humans to care for, thanks. 😂

Style preferences — Wardrobe headcanon can be found here, but the TL;DR is that she goes for practicality over style. Lots of layering for maximum cosyness, jeans and long sleeves are the go-to outfit.

Someone they love — Her platonic soulmate, Mel.

Approach to friendships — Ride or die! Your problems become her problems, and she’s incredibly loyal. Expect lots of pokes and nudges when she’s joking around, along with many hugs if it’s tolerated by the friend in question.

Favourite drink — Strawberry milkshake

Favourite place to spend time at — Mel’s couch. Tyler + couch = OTP. 😂

Swim in the lake or the ocean — She can’t swim. She does enjoy the beach though.

Their type — Men named Killian McCrane. But in all seriousness, a man who will join in on her silly jokes and flirting. If they can’t act like a goofball then she won’t be interested for long. She needs someone who can be patient with her (now more than ever) when she struggles to open up. As for physical traits, she is completely weak at the knees for physically strong men with nice smiles. None of this “muscles for aesthetics” stuff, actually strong men. Abs are nice, sure, but a man who could physically pick her up and yeet her with ease? Swoon.

Camping or indoors — Indoors. Camping out loses its novelty when you spend years living out of your car.

Tagged by — @ko3ak ❤️!

Tagging — anyone who hasn’t done it yet!