#she would be so terrible to be on a plane with but it’s ok id be fine with that

[wickjump]

insanely in love with fem fresh she’s ljterally my wife all of you leave. kisses her face. mwah mwah mwah. she would call me radical in bed and id be fine with thag

[instructionsnotincluded]

Gorgeous - Sneak Peek (JJ Maybank x Original Female Character)

This is part of the first chapter to a new fic I'm working on, featuring a different character that is outside of Audrey's universe. I'm planning on this beginning in the lull between seasons 3 & 4 of Outer Banks, but we'll see how this develops and what actually happens in season 4. It will eventually be posted to AO3 (if we like it) but for now we can have a sneak peek on Tumblr.

Pairing: JJ Maybank X Original Female Character

Warnings: References to smut; shameless flirting; Gorgeous by Taylor Swift stuck in author's head.

Length: 2335 words

Gorgeous (working title)

The first time Scarlett spotted him was at some random wedding reception she stumbled into. There was a live band, a buffet of food, and a cash bar with a cute bartender who wasn’t checking ID. Nursing her drink, Scarlett stood somewhere between the bar and buffet, leaning against a tall table just people watching. He was tall, with a head of effortlessly messy blonde hair, but it was the broad shoulders that really caught her attention—the way his button down shirt strained when he would shift or reach for his drink made the back of her neck warm slightly. She had yet to see his face, but she kept checking back in between casual glances around the rest of the party to see if he turned. 

She wound up in the OBX about a month ago. After dropping out of UCLA after one year in college, Scarlett packed her car with her dorm room items, only to pause in the parking lot outside her residence hall. She was supposed to return home, head hung, having failed her way out of college, where she’d undoubtedly be forced to work in her father’s law office filing papers the whole summer. But as she sat there, hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white, Scarlett decided to drive. She hadn’t necessarily intended to drive east, but before she knew it she hopped on the 101 and found herself on interstate 40, crossing the California state line about seven hours later. 

Scarlett drove until she was tired, pulling over, she dozed in her car a few hours before continuing on, eventually stopping somewhere near the Arizona/New Mexico border to rent a motel room and sleep the rest of the night and early morning. Her phone started going off in regular intervals sometime after midnight, and after confirming that all of her locations were turned off, Scarlett passed out in the motel bed and didn’t wake until her stomach demanded food. 

It took another two days of straight driving to reach the Atlantic, and briefly Scarlett considered scraping enough money together to buy a one way plane ticket across the ocean and start over completely in Europe, but as she boarded the ferry for one of the islands just off the coast of North Carolina, she finally allowed herself a moment to breathe in the salty, humid air. 

She was free. 

“Smoked salmon, miss?” 

Scarlett found herself back in the present, staring at a rather handsome young man dressed in all black. Judging by the way he eyed her, Scarlett must not look too terrible in the simple black dress she’d hauled out of her suitcase. She lifted a hand to the tray to grab a salon and cream cheese cracker and he gave her a nod before continuing on his way around the party.  

“Ok—so I scoped out the buffet line and the dessert table,” Scarlett was met with the face of her only friend in North Carolina, Whitney Pool. She met Whitney on her first day working at the Island Club Hotel, Whitney was assigned as her trainer and together the girls restocked and made up all the hotel rooms on the first three floors. It wasn’t long before they were fast friends, Whitney even letting her crash on her couch until she decided what to do with her life. “They’ve got a carving station and everything—but if you wanna skip right to dessert, I’m right there with you.” 

Scarlett laughed, nodding as Whitney glanced over her shoulder at the many different deserts. “Do we think the cake is real or fake?” 

Scarlett looked over at the five tiered white wedding cake, the icing piled high as it towered over the rest of the deserts. “Fake,” Scarlett said as she bit into her cracker, the salmon and cream cheese mixing well together, having been to many of these types of events in her life she was well aware of the tricks, “the sheet cake’s in the back, they’ll cut one piece and then take it away.” 

“Love the theatrics,” Whitney leaned forward to squeeze her forearm. “Ok, I need another glass. You want one?” 

“No—I’ll switch to something else in a bit. More than one glass of champagne gives me a headache.” 

“Things rich people say.” 

Scarlett laughed, hiding her smile behind her glass as she sipped the champagne. The first time she had the sweet bubbly drink she was thirteen and hiding from her parents in the hotel bathroom during her grandmother’s funeral. In true WASP style, they had the reception in a massive hotel ballroom, complete with glossy portraits and a swan ice sculpture, just as her grandmother requested in her last wishes. 

Scarlett and her older brother, Liam, snuck a few bottles of champagne when no one was looking and quickly found out how easy it was to get drunk on Dom Perignon. That was the night of Scarlett’s first kiss, when her brother’s friend, Seth, had kissed her sloppily against the door of the men’s room, drunken hands fumbling to touch her breasts. Scarlett didn’t remember much from that night, but she did recall throwing up all over Seth’s shoes. 

Scarlett’s eyes swept the party once more, taking in the older couples swaying to the music on the dance floor, the bride and groom, happy and in love, moving from table to table greeting their guests and thanking them for attending. Scarlett made a mental note to keep far away from the two. Rule number one of wedding crashing was to stay away from the newly married couple. 

Scarlett hadn’t expected anyone to notice her, no one aside from the male server had anyway, so when her eyes lifted and met those crystal clear eyes, she thought her heart stopped. 

He was half turned, leaning against his own cocktail table, his gaze trained fully on her. When his eyes met her own, every thought vanished from her mind, and instead all she wanted was to drown in those blue eyes. 

A slow, small, half smile lifted from the corner of his mouth as he reached for the short glass on the table in front of him, two ice cubes clinked in the glass as he took a long sip from it, draining the light colored amber liquid before he pushed himself away from the table and crossed the grassy area to greet her. 

His tie seemed out of place as he smoothed it down, and it didn’t match his shoes the way someone who frequently wore ties would, and based on the way his collar sat, the buttons at the points remaining unbuttoned, told her he wasn’t used to wearing button down shirts either. Scarlett guessed it was a slim cut shirt, based on the way it fit him well around his waist, but his shoulders were too broad for it—and as she eyed the French cuff she was left with even more questions. A girlfriend had most likely purchased or recommended it, but she’d been watching him on and off all evening and had yet to see him with anyone other than a curly haired brunette, and while the boys could be a couple, they didn’t appear to act like one. 

Fuck—Scarlett really hoped he liked women. 

“I had the entire walk over to come up with a line,” his voice was playful and teasing, his eyes glinting as he smiled fully now, “but all I could come up with was hi.” 

“Hi,” Scarlett responded with her own smile, her weight shifting from one foot to the other, “and I think that’s a decent enough line.” 

He glanced over his shoulder at the bride and groom before looking back at her, “how do you know Shawn and Andy?” 

“Um…” Of course they would both have those names…how was she supposed to make up a story now? “Well, I’m Andy’s second cousin…mom’s side.” 

His eyes swept over her, sucking the inside of his cheek as he looked back over his shoulder once more, “that must’ve been an exciting childhood,” he said as he studied her. 

“Oh—you know…” Scarlett coughed softly, “how do you know…them?” 

“I used to work with Shawn,” he said, “back in high school, plus he basically invited the whole damn island.” 

“Ah well…”

“I’m JJ,” he leaned his side against the table, the smile still across his face making her stomach flutter. 

“Scarlett.” 

“Scarlett,” she really wanted to hear him say her name again, watching as he tasted it, the way he drug the r and l together made the butterflies in her stomach go insane, “I like that.” 

“Is JJ short for something?” 

“Sometimes,” JJ lifted his shoulder, “nothing interesting though.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Scarlett wanted to reach up and smooth his collar down, but she forced her hands to remain on the table, “you’re from Kildare?” 

“Mhmm,” JJ glanced around, taking inventory of the party and who was there, “born and raised. What about you?” 

Scarlett hesitated, part of her, the part attached to the butterflies wanted to tell him the truth, but the part attached to her brain told her to deflect so she and Whitney wouldn’t get caught. 

“Oh—uh…”

JJ leaned across the table, motioning her closer to him with his index finger, “you know…if you’re gonna crash, you need to keep your lies simple and not at all attached to the wedding party.” 

Scarlett blushed, her face heating uncomfortably, “when’s you figure it out?” 

“Oh, at the beginning,” JJ grinned at her as they both stood back up straight, “Andy’s adopted and doesn’t know her family.” 

“Fuck.” 

JJ only laughed at her expletive, “like I said…” he shrugged, “keep it simple. Too much and it’s not believable. So, Scarlett’s your real name?”

“It is,” she nodded, “I just got off work and my friend begged me to sneak in with her, she promised me cake if I did.” 

“Cake’s worth it,” JJ said, “I’ve never seen you around though…do you live here in Kildare?” 

“I just moved, actually,” Scarlett lifted her arm to scratch along her shoulder, “arrived about a month ago.”

“Ah.” He nodded, as if he’d just solved an ongoing mystery, “that’s it—I would’ve remembered you.”

Scarlett blushed again and based on JJ’s easy smile she assumed he knew it too. “You’re doing ok on the lines.”

“Good,” JJ shifted, “I’ve been out of practice, so that’s good feedback.”

Scarlett laughed and JJ reached up to scratch behind his ear, his eyes lifting as the server from earlier walked by, his eyes trained directly on Scarlett as he passed. 

“I’m sensing some competition,” JJ joked lightly, but Scarlett could hear the nervousness in his voice, “friend of yours?”

“Never met him before,” Scarlett shook her head, “he’s cute, though.” 

“Got the tall, dark, and handsome thing going,” JJ nodded, “you gonna play that one out or…?” 

“Hmm,” Scarlett lifted a shoulder, watching the server disappear into the white tent, “maybe…do you think he looks like someone who gives good head?” 

JJ choked on his spit and Scarlett smiled, sipping her drink, pleased that she’d made JJ blush. “I don’t know,” JJ coughed lightly, clearing his throat, “a toss up, probably. Young enough to know that’s what you’re lookin’ for, but the good looking ones sometimes don’t know what they’re doing.” 

“So you must be downright terrible then, huh?” 

JJ ran a hand over his mouth, his blue eyes twinkling as he looked across the table at her, but before he could say anything the crackling electricity between them was doused by the frantic red head running up to the table, “they have two cakes!” 

Scarlett had to take a moment to take in her friend, watching Whitney set her glass on the table, “umm…”

“JJ, hey.” 

“Whitney,” JJ’s eyes skimmed the area surrounding them, “is Ricky here?”

“No, you know he won’t crash with me,” Whitney rolled her eyes before looking at Scarlett, “you’ve met Scarlett?”

“Mhmm.” 

“JJ is Ricky’s cousin,” Whitney explained, referring to her on again, off again hook-up. Scarlett labeled them as dating, but Whitney assured her time and time again it was just sex. But Scarlett didn’t think cuddling on the couch every Tuesday night watching movies and walking by the docks on Sunday afternoons could be considered just sex. 

JJ glanced over his shoulder after hearing his name, looking over to see the brunette from before waving him over, the bride and groom beside him. “I’ll let you ladies get back to your evening,” he ducked his head before sending Scarlett a soft smile, “I’ll see you around, Scarlett.” 

When JJ was across the lawn and out of ear shot, Whiteny turned her full attention to Scarlett, “did I interrupt something?”

“I’m not sure,” Scarlett finished her champagne, looking over at Whitney, “you know him?” 

“He’s Ricky’s cousin, I’ve seen him from time to time. Cute—a smart ass.” 

“Is he attached?” 

Whitney took a lengthy sip of her refilled champagne, “he was—but I haven’t seen her around lately. Do you want me to ask Ricky?”

Scarlett shook her head, even though Whitney already had her phone out, thumbs moving frantically as she no doubt sent a text off to Ricky. “I’m going to get a refill.” 

Whitney nodded and Scarlett left to wander to the bar, asking for a vodka soda with lime, watching as the server from earlier emerged from the tent, their eyes meeting a moment later. His were a dull brown, but his face was cute and his nose was promising, so Scarlett let him approach, watching as he gently slid a napkin towards her before wandering off with his tray of appetizers. Scarlett thanked the bartender before walking back to Whitney, her eyes flickering over towards the table JJ returned to, except this time she didn’t see him or his friend. 

“They took their seats at the table,” Whitney sipped her drink, “finish your drink and then we’ll grab cake and bounce before the toasts begin.”

[spotsandsocks]

Cover by the oh so talented and lovely @ronordmann thank you love, I adore it it’s perfect.

Read on AO3 9k E

Silence fills the room as soon as Eddie hangs up the phone. He’d known something was wrong the second he’d seen his Dad’s caller ID pop up at 2pm on a Wednesday afternoon. It had been a quick call, just long enough to update him on the situation, his Dad had been keen to get back to Abuela, Eddie doesn’t blame him, he wishes he could be there too. He hates that she’s moved away even though he knows it made sense. He just misses her so much, worries about her too, even more now. 

His phone is still in his hand so he doesn’t really think much about what he’s doing, just makes the call. It’s picked up in under three rings and Eddie breathes out a heavy greeting.

‘Hey. It’s me.” Although Buck knows that, caller ID and all.

He gets a “Hey,” right back and then after a brief pause Buck asks the question Eddie  knew he would.

“You ok?” There’s quite concern in his friend’s voice, he already knows something’s wrong. Eddie guesses there must have been something in his voice to give it away, even if he has only said three words. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised, Buck’s good like that. He knows people, he sees things people don’t expect him to and he cares. Eddie knows he’s lucky to be one of the people Buck cares about.

“Not really,” Eddie sniffs and he can just imagine Buck stopping whatever he was doing and frowning in worry. It’s an expression he’s quite familiar with but he hasn’t seen too much of lately, not now things are getting a little better for him.

“My Dad called, it’s my Abuela.” He takes a deep slightly shuddering breath, “she’s in the hospital, they’re doing tests and things but no one's sure what’s wrong, Dad tried to play it down but I could tell he was worried.”

“And now you’re thinking about plane tickets right?” The understanding is instant, Eddie nods and confirms Bucks guess.

“Yeah, I can’t go, I know that and I’m glad he told me but..”

“You’re too far away and you feel useless.”

Again he nods, a small huff of air escapes too, Buck knows him well.

“I’m gonna call her later, Dad said she’s sleeping.” 

“She’ll like that, give her my love.” A heartbeat later Buck  says “You want me to come over?” 

He does but what he says is “No it’s ok, you’re busy. I just wanted to talk to you.”

Buck’s voice is soft, “Anytime Eds. I’m always here, you know that.”

They hang up not long afterwards, Eddie feeling slightly better having spoken to someone. No, having spoken to Buck, who’s right, he is always there for him. Every time. Eddie’s still not sure what he’s done to deserve it but he’s glad, so very glad he has Buck in his life.

Caller ID tells him it’s Buck’s calling and he doesn’t even wait for Eddie to say hi, just jumps in with,

“Eddie! You have to help! Maddie’s going to kill me.”

“What have you done now?” Eddie knows that tone, he waits to hear what minor crisis Buck finds himself in today.

“I’ve lost Jee’s favourite teddy. Maddie just called and Jee’s distraught.”

Eddie thinks Buck’s worked himself up into a similar state by the sound of him.

“Ok, calm down.” 

“I am calm.”

“You’re really not, ok, take a sec and...”

“I’ve looked everywhere, Jee will never forgive me, Maddie won’t either.”

“Buck you were here this morning, let me check, maybe it fell out somewhere.”

“Please find it Eddie, I’m a terrible Uncle.”

Eddie rolls his eyes as he pulls cushions around and looks under and behind couches and chairs.

“You’re a fantastic Uncle. Jee loves you. Maddie loves you too. A lost teddy isn’t going to change that .”

“I don’t know Eds. She really loves that bear.”

His hand closes around something fluffy under one of his chairs, he pulls it out and recognises the bear Jee had had earlier.

“Well it’s a good job I’ve found it then.”

“You have!? Oh thank god!” he can just imagine Buck's face, the way he’s throwing his head back, exposing his neck, mouth open as he sighs in relief. He gets lost in the image for a moment then shakes himself free.

“I’ll run it over to Maddie for you, I’m closer.”

“Thank you, thank you, you're the best man, I mean it.”

He laughs, he’s glad he could help wipe Buck’s distress away, a quick trip to Maddie and Chim’s is the very least he can do for Buck. 

Eddie knows he’d do almost anything for his friend, but all he says is “No problem, just glad I can help reunite a girl with her bear.” before he hangs up, bear in hand ready to save Buck’s neck from his niece’s tears and sister’s wrath

Read on AO3

[awellboiledicicle]

I like thinking about a dungeon meshi/bg3 crossover for many reasons, but one of them is the mental image of post-canon Laios and Raphael in the same room.

Because Laios would, in all honesty, reek of demon. Just be fucking soaked in that vibe. Both for eating part of one, and the potent death curse.

Raphael being a devil would have some deeply 'ah, i see. hm' moments watching the group up to that point i think, because approaching anything to do with demons in dnd is basically an exercise in 'how fast do you wish to die'. Because in the abyss connected to the hells there, all demons want is chaos and destruction and generally horrific things that only get worse when they get past the whole 'getting out of the abyss' thing. One cursing you would imply a few things, though, and mostly the fact Laios is not a smear on the ground someplace means he was too strong to immediately kill.

Add in that in dungeon meshi, the mana used for magic is very much a 'from the demon or spirits' thing-- Falin and Marcille are gonna be also giving off Vibes.

AND THEN Add in the curse that monsters would never again willingly be around Laios, and you get a delightful moment of "ok so what does that do in faerun"

I'm running with the assumption that the curse source is far enough removed on the prime material plane that it simply gives non-thinking beings [aside animals] the willies, even if they can't tell where it's coming from.

All of which to say please imagine Raphael gritting his teeth through the worst anxiety attack a devil has ever felt while having He Who Devours All Things Horrible in his house.

Also Astarion having the weirdest case of the jitters around Laios. Not enough to throw him off, and he'd really only ID it as directly being a Laios thing AFTER Cazador is dead, but just enough to make him a little jumpy.

Tangentally related, Falin is basically a cleric. She has no god that we know of. She is just monster enough to be weird if someone sees her feathers. Shadowheart is gonna be sitting there mentally wracking her wiped brain trying to come up with whomst the fuck she belongs to.

Gale and Marcille talk about magic. This would actually go well because they're both nerds, but it WOULD end in her testing out fireball by ordering the weave to do something and Gale would be gobsmacked when it works.

Iztsumi, everyone just assumes she's a catfolk. The timeskip just meant she matured a little hanging around the castle, but she absolutely spends hours talking shit at the party. Shadowheart and her get along on snark, same with Lae'zel, but iztsumi is just like "can you guys stop bitching at one another, we were having a fun talk gdi"

Chilchuck is an old man at this point [35]. Well, more specifically he's gone grey and gained weight now that his whole deal is "run shop and visit Laios on occasion". Routinely roasts Astarion for not being handy enough with traps/locks. AKA Astarion missed 1 trap and Chilchuck has not let him live it down. It doesn't help that Astarion will just point them out, not do much about them on his own. He and Iztsumi put the poor guy through rogue bootcamp and he does not enjoy it at all. Chilchuck, though, mostly stays at camp to keep an eye on their stuff.

Also please imagine Gale being dragged through the forest to help collect forage with Senshi and ending up terribly bedraggled because the dwarf got very excited about similarities of some plants over the differences in others.

[medicinemane]

Ok... so after a long miserable day I'm finally booked

It cost $76 more dollars than it would have with expedia... but I know I don't have to deal with a middle man that's apparently going to be in India and try and up charge me (like he said my hotel would be $680 and plane was like $375, when it was more like $520 and $200, I'm not even mad at him cause I get he needs to make money of commissions probably... but no thanks)

Also unlike expedia I... actually have my tickets. Still need to send my hotel a photo of my ID before I'm checked in fully (cause we live in a surveillance state), but like... I'm actually booked

Seriously, don't ever ever use expedia. Like, it was good for helping me find a hotel in that their little map was nice, and it was good for finding what flight was cheap, so do end up using them for that... then go book direct cause it might cost a bit more but like... they've got terrible customer service, some of the worst I've ever had, and I just gotta advise you against it

(I couldn't even find their number, it was my Credit Union rep, all I found was a thing where they were like "give us your number and your itinerary and we'll call you"... do you want that if you need a problem solved?)

I'm good, today sucked but Kathy made it way better. I'm recovering enough energy to write her a messages telling her how things turned out, and I'm also going to both ask if there's any way to tell her supervisors how good she is and also I'm gonna say I understand if either she's not interested or it goes against policy, but if she wants me to carve something I'm happy to do that for her

Cause like... she may not have fixed my problem, but she took me from being crumpled on the floor saying "I just don't know what to do" to being in a pretty good mood and able to weather this

Absolute hero, and she also shows the difference in good customer service vs bad, and like if my credit union didn't have my state's name in it I'd promo them, where as... seriously, please bad mouth expedia if you ever get a chance

Like just think if you want to risk being in my position, or if you'd rather pay a little extra and just get it direct (what I paid is still less than what a competitor quoted)

I'd say it was a bad day, but I'm actually feeling pretty good thanks to Kathy at my credit union

Hope you're all doing decent, at least this is 90% taken care of

[causenessus]

hi loveliness! (i’m calling you that now because it suits you) HOW ARE U?? good evening afternoon or morning! i hope you’ve been well and i hope you’ve eaten! tomorrow i’m driving back home and it’ll take like two days so my next checkup might be really early or really late (SORRY IN ADVANCE !!) but today i’m going to a concert so ill probably be back home really late and be tired asf LOL but im so excited for it !! i can’t wait to tell you about it tomorrow

IM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR EATING !! it makes me feel happy that i actually have an impact on your life ! ik some days get busy and long but it’s always good to eat and take care of yourself, heal the body and mind!! BAGELS ARE GOOD BUT MAKE SURE YOURE EATING ACTUAL MEALS! which i’m kind of a hypocrite because last night i had instant noodles for “dinner” kind of BUT BUT I HAD LIKE A BIG LATE LUNCH WITH MY FAMILY SO IT DOESNT COUNT !! i would consider that a snack even LOL but youuu! you! (points) make sure you eat actual meals love !! sorry this just reminds me of a story but i remember like one time i was late for school so i skipped breakfast but during class my stomach was like RUMBLING AND I WAS SO EMBARRASSED BECAUSE LIKE the teacher would be yap yap yapping and then suddenly you hear the most preposterous god awful sound (my stomach) and i had to pretend i didn’t wanna die right then and there LOL so definitely definitely eat or you’ll suffer the same fate as me </3(threateningly)(with love)(always with love)

PLS MY EARLY SHIFTS AND WEIRD DOUBLE SHIFTS ARE SO TERRIBLY FUNNY LOL but omg what do you do for work if you don’t mind me asking like do you build frames because THATS SO COOL women in stem moment LOL but omg i hope your finger is okay?? WHY IS SOMETHING HECTIC ALWAYS HAPPENING AT YOUR JOB this is like a total sitcom office type job scenarios right here but but omg omg mango anon on a plane?? flying over to ness?? mango anon and ness meetup?? (I WISH I COULD INSERT PHOTOS BUT WE WOULD BE LIKE THAT ONE MEME THATS LIKE the vibes me and gang bring to the function) no but literally i would definitely just trail around you at work like a dog like i would 100% have no idea what’s going on but i would just smile and nod and be happy just to be there LOL

YOU KNOW WHAT TECH DAYS IS REAL LIKE I WAS ALSO PART OF TECH LOL but i wasn’t like THAT type of tech in the crew i was the sounds person so id be more more background but omg soulmates? twin flames? tech crew gang??? i kinda miss tech days even though it was kind of toxic LOL like i remember my teacher was like ok practice with the cast goes until 6:30 but she kept us until like 8 like IS THAG EVEN LEGAL?? who knows though my high school was definitely not… not it (if you know what i mean)

THE LORE DROP IS CRAZY?? i get what you mean by the attachment issue thing because I GET IT I GET IT but like you’re such a likeable person like IDK YOURE JUST SO SWEET AND GENUINE ITS HARD NOT TO LIKE YOU(sorry if that sounds weird but to me it’s like)(i expect a LOT of people to like you because you radiate good energy and you’re always so sweet) BUT I GET IT AND PLS THE ICK FROM THE ATTACHMENT ISSUES?? i 100% get it because when i notice myself being too attached to someone im like okayyyyy okay mango anon back it up here back it uppp LOL because like i don’t wanna be so reliant on someone else so i always have to remind myself to chill a bit, BUT ID LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR WORK AND DRAMATIC LOVE LIFE LIKE I LIVE FOR THE ROMCOMS!!

i hope tonight is a better night for you !! i hope it isn’t sucky again because you deserve the best :( I LOVE YOU TOO NESS SORRY I DIDNT KNOW WHERE TO PUT THIS PART BUT I <3 NESS thank u for always taking the time to answer these long long asks LOL but i really enjoy talking to you !! make sure you eat and take care of yourself and have a good day!! xoxoxo

AAAAAA PLEASE I AM CRYING OVER THE NAME /POS THANK YOU SO MUCH <3 i am okay!!! very brain dead and just peroifbbjk but it's okay!! and aa definitely do not worry about missing a few check ins but thank you for telling me so i don't get too sad and miss u without knowing what's going on </33 be safe driving back AND I HOPE YOUR CONCERT GOES WELL AND YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN!!

BUT AAA thank you thank you </3 unfortunately i literally survived on almond butter bagels today but it was NOT my fault. like today was just not good lmaoaoao i ate breakfast and then drove home to eat lunch (first almond butter bagel) between classes and then had to go to work (i bought a random california roll or something on the way there that ig counts as well!!) but i literally got home at 10 pm and just could not be bothered to cook 😭😭😭 i've just been working this entire week and i work this weekend too so i'm just trying to get by!!!! i will take care of myself though BUT PLEASE THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED YOUR TEACHER YAPPING AND THEN THE PREPOSTEROUS SOUND 😭😭😭 I LAUGHED SO HARD it reminds me of this one time i was forced (idk how else to explain this but just trust me i had to??? LMAO) to eat carrots in my french class....BUT CARROTS ARE SO LOUD BRO I LITERALLY WANTED TO KMS EVERYTIME I BIT INTO THE CARROT LIKE I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE BUT OMG BRO IT WAS A SILENT CLASSROOM AND THEN THERE'S ME CRYING EATING CARROTS LIKE A LITERAL RABBIT

but anway. AAA YES!! WOMEN IN STEM!! yes i build frames sometimes or we get them sent to my work and then i will actually frame things and cut glass and just put that all together it's very fun!! i've framed things like a real cool pixies poster, cool art, confiscated prison shanks, someone tried to get us to frame black coral (which it is highly illegal to be in possession of) so yk!!! maybe it's just a curse at my workplace!! i have NO idea wtf is wrong with my workplace but we could DEFINITELY BE A SITCOM SHOW LMAOO AND AAA OMG YES NESS AND MANGO ANON MEETUP!!! I WOULD LITERALLY CRY /POS AND JUMP WITH JOY PLEASE AND LITERALLY OMG YOU DID TECH TOO??????? AND YOU WERE SODIFIUHWLJBEKJRFLEPRIO;GWENK (you were sound except i keyboard smashed halfway through)

MANGO ANON. WE WERE MEANT TO BE. LITERAL SOULMATES I TELL YOU!!!! BC I MEAN IG IDK HOW OTHER DEPARTMENTS ARE BUT LIKE I FEEL LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE A LIGHT KID - SOUND KID DUO YK?????? AND THAT'S YOU AND ME AAAA THAT'S LITERALLY SO COOL THOUGH I ADMIRE SOUND PEOPLE SO MUCH BECAUSE IT'S JUST TOO MANY CABLES AND THINGS FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF I NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT 😭😭 but yes it is also such a toxic and dramatic environment like ALL the time okay another lore drop my junior year i was literally fighting for my life because basically i had just been passed the torch down from our goddess light board op senior (so i was now in charge of everything regarding lights and basically the light board op) BUT this sophomore with a superiority complex also wanted the job and would literally fight me for it like he DEMANDED to be head of lights once for this student directed play and he had been asked to do the show before me so he got first pick and i was like "i mean okay chill idrc" but the bad thing is he just did not know what he was doing 😭 and i tried to be nice and be like "hey. we can split the job. if you want to be board op for the play and musical that's chill. i'll do it for the other play." AND IDK WHY I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT HATED HIM AND LIKE I TOLD MY TECH DIRECTOR THE PLAN AND HE WAS LIKE "HELL NO I AM NOT LETTING THAT KID OPERATE THE BOARD YOU'RE DOING THAT" so i ended up being board op...the entire year which i don't feel bad about!! but that was like the biggest drama moment of my life and i'm still not over it i am typing in passionate rage rn can u tell /hj

BUT AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT YOU'RE SO SWEET!! i always attract weird men unfortunately...i will spill this all to u mango anon do not worry your pretty head <3 maybe we'll start with skater boy tm (imagine i subscripted that i'm too lazy rn) or the boy who thought i liked him and asked me to homecoming....BUT YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEET AND CARING TOO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED BY SO MANY AS WELL!!! and honestly lots of people suck </3 so if they DON'T love you?? well that's an easy fix i'll just beat the life out of them <3 (said with love. for u. not those people. i promise i'm nice!!!)

AND THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SENDING THESE LONG ASKS!! AND READING MY EVEN LONGER ANSWERS <3 tonight was okay!!! i hope you had a good day <3 and talking to you has DEFINITELY made it better so thank you and i love you so much as always mango anon <3 PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! AND EAT AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND I HOPE YOU DON'T FEEL TOO SICK AS YOU DRIVE BACK HOME!!

[windsweptlassie]

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners: 

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves: 

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love: 

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters: 

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose: 

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

Undercover - Chapter 4

Chapter Selection

The next day

I touched on the Reid subject yesterday but I didn't want him to worry so I decided to drop it. I brought It back up and Hotch called Reid. 

"Hello." 

"Can you come down the office for a few there's some paperwork I need you to lookover." 

Hotch doesn't mention me but I sit in on the call. "Yeah I'll be there in 10", Reid hangs up. 

"Haven't you noticed", Aaron focuses on the road. "Noticed what?", I keep my eyes on him. 

"Okay so a few days ago I saw Reid in the elevator and I assume I've been at the BAU long enough so he's not awkward with me." He hummed in agreement. 

"And he was avoiding eye contact, he was shuffling towards the door like he was trying to get away from me." I take a breath then continue. 

"I've been noticing on cases he's not talking as much, he's avoiding just everyone in general." 

We pull into the garage an make our way upstairs. I walk into the building first Aaron coming in a few minutes later.

Reid walks into Hotchs office, then he calls me in after. "Take a seat." He gestures to Reid, "We need to talk." His brows furrow and he pouts. "About?" I watch his body language and listen to his speech. 

There's a single bead of sweat going down his forehead. His hands are trembling in his pockets; he's shuddering more than he usually does. Is he withdrawing?

I step in, "Hotch I think I know what's happening." He looks behind Reid and at me. I walk to the desk leaning on hit crossing my arms. 

"So... how long has it been." Reid slowly turns up at me and Hotch. 

He lets out a sigh, "3 days." Hotch watches him closely. "You're back on dilaudid? since when?", Reid stands up, "2 months." 

A small gasp leaves Hotchs lip, and I stand in a bit of a shock. Nobody realized, 2 months he'd been high off his ass on cases and we didn't know. 

"Why?", I asked; It hurt that he couldn't have told us he was hurting enough to relapse. 

"My mom's been getting worse, the meds aren't helping as much as they were. I wanna visit her but there's been so much going on here that I didn't wanna leave." 

Hotchs face softens, "You can take some personal time you know that right. I don't wanna see you in the office for the next 2 weeks. Go visit your mom." 

I walk out of his office going to my desk. JJ walks up to me, "What are they talking about." She nods to the window. Morgan and Emily approach.

"Reid's... back on diluadid." I say in a hushed tone to not attract attention; gasps leave all of them. "I had know idea", Emily said. 

"Emily none of us knew, I'm the one that told Hotch something was wrong." Morgan smirked, "you told Hotch huh." 

I gave him a glare, Hotch closed the blinds and called me in; Morgan winked at me. 

I shut the door and walked up to him. "What's the plan"

"He told me he was gonna go to some meetings try to stop but....I don't know if that's going to work."

"So he's gonna go to rehab?", he nodded. I let out a sigh and sat on the his desk. "I'm not the closest with Reid but I want him to be ok." 

I said and Aaron came up to me. "Reid gonna be fine", he reassured. 

"Hey I wanna ask you something", I hummed. "How would you feel if you met Jack." My eyes widened and I smiled, "Of course.. when." 

"Maybe in a week it depends on when Hayley will let me see him." 

"What if he doesn't like me." Hotch put his hands on my waist and pecked my lips, "He'll love you don't worry." 

__________________________________

I was at Aarons sleeping and was woken up by the sound of his phone. I reach over without checking the ID. 

"Hotchners phone," the other side of the line was quiet. "Hello?", the other person finally speaks up. "Hello is Hotch there?" 

The person on the phone was JJ. My eyes went wide and I go to wake up Aaron. 

He opens his eyes, "What is it baby." I muted the phone, "It's JJ she doesn't know it's me but here." Handing him he phone he unmutes the call. 

"What is it." I can hear JJ say there was a case so I go into the shower. I feel hands snake around my waist and kisses being placed on my jaw. I turn around and peck his lips. 

The water going in his hair and down his back. He tosses his head back and I wash his hair massaging his scalp. 

He washes it out and does the same to me. He takes the body wash and runs it over my skin. 

The movements are slow as he washes around my legs and back. I moan softly and he stops.

Leaning to my ear whispering, "Only if we had time."

"We can make time." I go to kiss him but he pulls back. "There's fun in waiting." 

We step out the shower getting changed for work at 4am. 

Finishing the shower. I try to be comfortable wearing a turtleneck and black pants. Aaron was about to put on his tie but I interrupt him, "Let me." He watches me carefully want to know what I was up too.

I just wanted to tease the hell out of him for fun. He wants to wait fine. I'll just make him wait till he's begging for it. I thought to myself. 

Getting into the car and driving; his hand on my thigh the whole time tracing patterns. We go in holding hands until we get to the bullpen then we pull away. 

The team looks tired, irritated and sluggish. "Let's go over the case." Hotch says walking up the ramp to the round table. 

Garcia walk in, "Okay my lovely's you are going to Seattle, there has been 5 murders in the area all married mothers with a single child. Each victim was found with multiple stab wounds in the abdomen. Each in different parks"

"The mothers could represent their own, taking out there anger building confidence till he can take out the original source", Morgan States

Emily looks at the crime scene photos, "The victims were cleaned up, there hands by their side and hair combed. Maybe the unsub knows the them." 

Hotch takes a looks and flips the page. "The unsub could be punishing the mothers for being terrible to their children." 

I put my hand on Aarons thigh has he's talking. His breathing hitches but continues.

"So he sees himself as a protector." I say and everyone nods. "Wheels up in thirty." 

________________

They team file out of the room and I stay behind holding Hotch by his thigh. He looks down and a small smile spreads on his face. 

I meet his eyes as I slowly bring my hand to palm him through his pants; rubbing him till he was hard.

A small groan erupts from him when he grabs my hand pulling it away. 

"Not here", he whispers into my ear then nibbling on my ear lobe.

I close my eyes when it goes cold; he'd left the room leaving me to imagine what would've happened.

I get my go bag and I go to the jet being the first one there. Aaron steps on taking my hand and dragging me to the bathroom. 

He pins me against the wall and his hand makes it way to my throat. A soft moan leaves my lips.

He uses his leg to separate mine and puts his knee in between.

"Little girl, do you really wanna play that game with me?" I nod and he kisses me dragging his hand and ghosting it over my core. 

I try and lean forward; grind on his palm but he pulls away shutting the door behind him.

When I gather myself and walk out the bathroom. I'm met with Rossi sitting next to Aaron with a smirk. 

"How are you guys", Rossi says; me and Aaron glace at each other both saying fine in unison. 

The rest of the team files on and takes there seats. I sit across from Aaron my leg running up and down his. Morgan surrounded by JJ and Emily. 

Reid took the personal days to see his mom. 

The majority of the team taking a nap. Rossi had gotten up to move to a single space so I took his seat, staring at Aaron.

I looked around and realized no one could see us. I leaned my head on his shoulder; he kissed the top of my head and I took a quiet nap.

Woken from Aaron shaking my shoulder to go over the case before we land. Garcia appears on screen.

"Ok let's go over the case", Hotch says in a stern tone. JJ speaks up, "Stabbing is consistent with those that are imponent. He could be using the stabbing as an outlet for sexual release." 

"What if he's not though", I say in an unsure voice and they all look at me to continue. 

"Now yes it is unlikely for the unsub to be a women but what if there was no sexual assault because they had no need too. 

I mean yeah they could use the stabbing for release but if they were a women they just wouldn't have the need for it." 

Hotch nods, "Let's not rule anything out and keep that thought in mind." I grin to myself knowing I got I wasn't completely wrong. 

Morgan starts speaking, "Baby girl were the victims married?" I can hear her typing. 

"Technically yes but the fathers were all absent. It was just the mothers and the kids." 

"How are the kids", Emily asked Garcia, "Some of them have a pretty long hospital records, I see broken wrists, arms, and some ribs. Honestly guys I think they were getting abused." 

"So lets say they were abused the unsub could've been a doctor or nurse at the hospitals.", Rossi states. 

"Rossi and Morgan go to the latest crime scene. JJ and Prentiss interview the closet family. Y/n and I will set up station", Rossi gives us wink. He defiantly knows.

Hotch pulled Rossi to end of the jet. 

"Do you mind if what you think you saw earlier, you keep it to yourself." 

Rossi smiles to Hotch, "How long." 

"2 months", He says happily and slightly embarrassed.

"I won't say a word." 

________________

When the plane lands I reached for my bag when I felt something behind me. Hotch had pressed himself to my ass it made me gasp a bit. "What the fuck?" 

He tried to have a serious face but I could tell that he had a grin. He knew what he was doing and he was defiantly gonna pay for it later. 

When Hotch and I got to the station it was 7pm most of the Officers had gone home; leaving only the sheriff and 3 other cops. The sheriff walked up to us holding out his hand.

"Hello this is SA Y/n Y/l and I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner." We shook the mans hand as he showed up to the board room. 

We pinned up pictures of the victims and the crime scene photos to try and get a feel; seeing it from a different point of view.

The room was closed off, blinds shut, and we had already set up; we were waiting for the rest of the team to come back so it was just Aaron and I.

I was looking over the photos when I wanted to tease Aaron a bit more. I bent over the table just enough so he could get a perfect view of me. I heard footsteps behind me and hands grab my hips.

"Little girl you're just begging me to fuck you right here aren't you." I suppressed my moan but he noticed. "Yeah you are aren't you." I nodded. 

"Come on baby we've been over this use your words." His voice was coated in lust and it was low. 

I bet if he really was able to he'd fuck me here and now. I finally spoke up.

"God... yes please." He wrapped his hand around my neck and brought my head to his mouth. 

"I don't think you deserve it at this point little girl." He pressed me back onto the table. 

My chest hitting the cold wood as his bulge pressed against me. Then he walked away sitting back down going back to drinking his coffee. 

That was when the team walked in. They didn't see or hear anything thank god but it still worried me; what would've happened if they caught us. 

They carried on with casual conversation; Aaron talking to them like he didn't just slam me on to the table a minute ago.

It was now 11:30; there was no leads on the case so far other than the possibility that the unsub could've been a women; that the mothers may have been abusing their kids. 

So the unsub see themselves as a protector/ savior to the children. We were currently trying to put together other theories but half of us were asleep. Morgan was knocked out in the chair.

JJ and Emily were laying down together on the couch. Hotch was drinking his coffee with me next to him. Rossi had left for the hotel an hour ago. 

Hotch took the last sip and woke everyone up, "Okay we've done all we can let's go; we can continue in the morning." The team had left before us and they were so sleepy; not paying attention.

My finger intertwined with Aarons as we walked out not wanting to attract too much attention. 

Once we got to the hotel everyone got a separate rooms. Me and Aaron got conjoined rooms but I was sleeping in his. 

I was wearing a white crop top and a pair of Aarons grey sweat pants; Aaron was wearing a white t-shirt and black pajama pants. 

I got situated and threw my stuff on the chair before heading to bed. 

I was swept up from behind and was thrown over Aarons shoulder when he slapped my ass hard and tossed me on the bed. 

His voice was dark and dominant, "I think we've played enough for today." 

He leaned in closer my lips grazing his; he whispered, "I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to stand." 

Wetness grew between my legs and from that moment on I knew.

It was gonna be a long night.

_____________________

@mac99martin @donttellanyoneireadfanfiction @appleblossoms-posts @marie1115

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

[ot3-watch]

Episode 5: The Mile High Job

WHY IS THIS EPISODE 8

FUCK THE NETWORK I’M VERY TIRED

So we’re starting on a client testimony. Which is sad because I kind of like the context establishing scenes

Sophie being French is hilarious

I’m not saying Hardison shouldn’t be able to take off when he needs to. I am saying that MAYBE THEY SHOULD PLAN HEISTS FOR DAYS WHEN THEY ARE A MEMBER SHORT?

Also, why does Hardison not put his food on a plate before he puts it in the microwave. That spinning plate does not get washed nearly enough for that to be sanitary

OK wait did Hardison just flake out? THEN WHY DID THEY NOT POSTPONE?

THEY SHOULD HAVE PLANNED THIS MUCH BETTER

I love Parker being magic and teleporting

The security guards always seem like idiots and tbh, working where I work with the security guards being who they are, I feel like it’s all bullshit and a disservice to security guards.

I love the Doctor WHo references. TOM AND SARAH JANE BAKER YES MA’AM

But also did no one make a Doctor Who comment? Like really. I know Tom Baker is probably a common name but I really want to know what happens when they get a whovian checking their IDs

THe poor flight attendant. That sucks. Can you imagine getting a COMPLETELY fake call that your cat might be put down? I’m sorry, I can’t. Completely innocent people get screwed by them sometimes and I feel bad

Eliot remembers everyone he’s slept with I love him.

THIS POOR FLIGHT ATTENDANT? WHat happens when she comes back and everyone is side eyeing her and being bitchy?

I hate the trope of girlfriends or love interests being overly sensitive about people remembering tiny details. Especially when they aren’t actually together. Especially when it happened years ago. Especially when they hold it against them for the whole episode.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE TERRIBLE MEMORIES OK

Also, this is Nate. It’s a shock he has any brain cells left with how drunk he is 99% of the time. Get OVER yourself Sophie.

PLACE YOUR MASK OVER YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE ok Leverage predicting the future…

Parker being a terrible flight attendant is hilarious

Did I like her in this episode? I think I liked her in this episode

Eliot suffering through economy I can’t

I feel bad for the woman, but like… stop pushing? I know she’s nervous but the flight attendant is trying to do her job. I mean, it’s Parker, but in any normal situation…

Hardison pulls the same “You’re such a racist” bit every time he gets in a sticky situation, and it always works? Can you imagine if he tried to pull that on an actual racist?

Do planes have bars like that? I’ve been on plenty of planes and i’ve never seen a bar like that

Im never in first class though so whatever

OKAY GUYS THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE IS ONE OF THE LIBRARIANS MOVIES

Which means noah wyle exists in the leverage universe.

HOW IS THAT GOING TO WORK WITH THE REBOOT THOUGH?

Unless they just… expected no one to notice? To be fair, it’s not like they focused on it

They probably just needed a movie they could use without securing rights first or running into copyright issues

But still… paradoxes

Eliot just going through a bunch of random people's bags…

HE AND PARKER MOVING AROUND EACH OTHER SO COMFORTABLY THOUGH

THIS IS SEASON ONE WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD TOGETHER ALREADY

I LOVE THEM GUYS

Parker. That’s not reassuring Parker. Parker that’s just terrifying. WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT PARKER?? pARKER?? i’M CONCERNED PARKER!

I really hate Sophie getting mad at nate for this shit. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. It just makes Sophie seem unreasonable and bitchy

OK BUT Hardison and the woman bonding IMMEDIATELY over nerdy gaming is so great

Also i like that they made the other nerd a woman is great

OK but he is not talking nearly silently enough for the ONLY other person in the room to just stop listening to him?

Could you imagine the person you were talking to randomly stops talking, looks upset, and then sticks his head in the cabinet? And starts muttering to himself?

LIKE EITHER HE CAN’T TELL REALITY FROM FANTASY OR HES A SPY

WHY ARE YOU NOT SUSPICIOUS??

He really does pull this shit off really well.

The amount of men in that conference room is oppressive and very realistic ina very sad way

Parker must be in a thief’s paradise

OKAY I REMEMBER NOW AND I DID LIKE PARKER IN THIS EPISODE

“Nobody tells me anything”

THAT’S SUCH A MOOD

Literally the job I’m working in right now is exactly like that

My job is literally to know things and help people and provide them with the information they need

AND STILL I’M ONE OF THE LAST TO FIND THINGS OUT

IT’S VERY FRUSTRATING OK

WHy can I not remember why they’re going after genegrow? Someone died I think? But i cannot remember

“The guy in 1D wants to kill you. Ginger Ale?”

Why is it that all i can think about right now is harry styles and niall horan

I mean I KNOW why but like… why

I LOVE them but why?

WHAT IS THIS OFFICE WOMAN’S NAME I LOVE HER

How does no one question Hardison showing up out of nowhere though?

Im just saying… supposedly it’s “Dave’s” birthday, and they think they should have already known about it? He just started that job on that day?

Unless he’s pretending to have been there forever but even then…

This makes no sense? I’m so confused?

Eliot beating a guy up in an airport bathroom is fantastic

But also you can’t fit one person in a airport bathroom, let alone two

THe view from the top is much smaller than the shots from the side

Parker: the guy we just took out? Eliot: -_- Parker: The guy Eliot just took out?

Sophie always seems so shocked by the inhumanity of some of these people they interact with. Nate’s like “Yeah, people are awful” and Eliot’s like “I see worse all the time” and Parker’s like “Is this meant to be weird or something?” but Sophie’s like “WHAt? Someone wants people DEAD? And might KILL US IN THE PROCESS?”

Is the art theft world just not so violent?

Even hardison doesn’t seem shocked, just upset and offended. Sophie’s always like OoO though and it gets weird?

Now both Eliot AND Nate are fitting in the bathroom? With an already unconscious guy? I’VE BEEN IN AIRPLANE BATHROOMS. THEY AREN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR THAT.

Unless i’m just fat. Which is an option.

Why do people have random wires in their luggage? Who travels with a giant bundle of wires in their luggage?

Oh look. The red head was right. There is a tailwind

OK But THE OXYGEN MASKS CAME DOWN AND NO ONE IS TRYING TO PUT ONE ON?

I know they’re panicking but still

Nate really does just throw things at hardison and then Hardison goes like WHAT I CAN’T DO THIS and then he does it.

HOW is Hardison THAT talented it’s ridiculous

WE all talk about Eliot being hyper-competent in everything when Hardison is literally right there

Not to say that eliot doesn’t deserve attention because he does and I love him

I LOVE ELIOT OKAY

I’m just saying Hardison deserves more credit

HOW DID THEY NOT HIT ANY CARS WHEN THEY WERE LANDING? THERE ARE CARS RIGHT THERE? ANd then there’s suddenly no cars in font of them when they land ? It’s all deserted?

HARDISON IS SO GOOD THOUGH

How did they set up a party for “Dave” so quickly?

WHY DOES NO ONE LOOK TO SEE WHO DAVE WAS YELLING AT?

Everyone is so done with Hardison and honestly? Fair. He might’ve saved them, but he also screwed them over earlier. It came in handy, but still.

I really could not give less of a shit about the Nate Sophie storyline in this episode. In most of season one really. It’s all shitty and annoying

FINAL THOUGHTS: 8/10. Points off for people not acting like people. Points off for the shitty Sophie/Nate stuff. Extra points for Eliot being Eliot. (There will always be extra points for Eliot being Eliot). Extra points for Hardison’s badassery. Extra points because I liked Parker in this episode. Extra points for nerd girl. You go nerd girl. Points off because I literally remember nothing about this episode except for Hardison being awesome, the office scenes, and the fact that there was a plane crash. Why were they on the plane? No idea. Can’t remember.

Sam count: 3/5

IYS count: 2/5 (Am I remembering this wrong? I felt like there were more? Then again, I’m only 5 episodes in)

[breakingsomething]

when nothing’s left

hey! sorry i haven’t written anything in a while, i’ve been very unmotivated. anyway, here’s this thing that i did- i might continue it at some point if i can be bothered.

trigger warnings for suicidal ideation, blood n shit

chase brody is on top of the world.

at least, that’s how he fancies himself. in reality, he is sitting on the edge of a tall apartment building, overlooking the city from the ledge he is perched on. chase is very much surprised that there are no fences or anything around the roof, considering how easily he’d gotten up here. all he’d had to do was smile charmingly at a woman at the door to the stairwell and she’d let him borrow her access key to the roof. it was very stupid of her. chase couldn’t believe his luck.

the wind blows his hair wildly, and the cold air feels like it’s slapping him in the face. he clings to the ledge and swings his legs in the endless open space beneath him, squinting his eyes to help him see. across the city, he can see minuscule planes and taller buildings silhouetted against the reddening sky, and when he looks down he can see the hundreds of cars and pedestrians passing beneath him. so oblivious, chase thinks. can’t they see the world is ending?

behind him, chase hears the now familiar glitching sound and accompanying thump that warns him of the arrival of a person he really doesn’t want to see right now. chase doesn’t turn and the man sighs loudly and throws himself down besides chase. there is a solid minute of silence where they both look out at the everything and the nothing of their city sprawled out in front of them.

finally, anti speaks. “hey. i’m here now.”

chase ignores him.

he hears anti shift his position. “you know, i’m still gonna be here whether you want me to be or not. you’re kind of stuck with me now.”

chase wants to cry or scream or push the demon off the side of the building just so he can see what it feels like.

anti makes a few odd sounds, no doubt to get on chase’s nerves. “why are you up here?”

when chase once again doesn’t answer, anti begins to get pissed off and pokes him in the arm. even his fingers feel sharp somehow. “yo, bitch! stop being so fucking depressed and talk to me, for fucks sake.”

chase pulls away from him, still without looking at him. “yes, i get it, you’re an attention whore.” his voice is scratchy. it’s the first words he’s said in hours. “now can you fuck off and leave me alone?”

anti lets out a breathy laugh. “wallowing in self pity isn’t exactly going to help either of us now, adidas. man the fuck up.” he shifts his position again and chase bites back the urge to yell at him to pick a spot and stick with it. he instead stands up, so quickly his head spins. his feet are on the very edge of the rooftop. if he moved an inch, he’d instantly fall to his death. for a moment, he thinks of all the people down below and what it’d be like for them if a person suddenly fell from a building above them. it could hurt someone if he fell on top of them. he could traumatize someone. he could get someone into a great deal of bother if they hung around the scene and were interviewed by nosy news reporters wanting all the details of the latest tragedy.

it doesn’t really matter. no one down there is real, and the world is ending.

he’s snapped out of his thoughts when anti grabs his arms. “hey! hey, hey, hey, no killing yourself here. not on my watch.”

anti glitches and is suddenly on his feet next to chase. he pulls chase away from the edge, dragging him towards the centre of the rooftop. chase says and does nothing. there’s nothing else to say or do.

anti stands before him, and chase finally tears his gaze away from the november skyline to look at him.

he used to be a terrifying entity. he always had been, from the day chase had first seen him grinning wickedly and holding henrik’s motionless body before disappearing with him for the next nine months, to the day he had appeared in the hallway of chase’s house, turning the world red, right eye gleaming, to the day he had found chase wandering the city, cold and without his hat or jacket or bag, waiting for something that would kill him. but now he looks almost completely human. his eyes are a dull green, so different from how bright they used to be. his skin is sickly pale, like chase’s. even his brown hair seems flat and lifeless. he doesn’t even constantly glitch like he used to. the only inhuman thing about him is his neck wound, which is stained with dried blood that he hasn’t bothered to wash off. chase studies him as anti huffs loudly, wrapping his arms around himself. wearing a pma zip up hoodie and his signature black ripped jeans, he looks just like jack. it sickens chase. he wants to slap the angry demon just to see if he’d snap and kill him.

anti breaks eye contact and rolls his eyes. “ok, whatever. you’re boring.” he goes over to the roof door and plops down next to it, closing his eyes. chase knows there’s no point in going back to the ledge. anti would appear next to him before he could even get up the courage to jump. not that he was planning to. not yet, at least.

instead chase marches to the door and flings it open, making his way down the stairs. the air down here is somehow colder, maybe due to the depressingly dark walls that all look wet for some reason. he wonders where the woman who gave him the rooftop pass has went. he can hear anti calling after him, and hears when anti appears next to him. the stupid glitch sound that used to charge dread into the hearts of him and his brothers makes him feel sick and fills him with rage. he stops and spins towards the demon. “why don’t you just kill me and get it over with?”

for a moment, anti looks surprised, but he instantly wipes his expression and chase wonders if he imagined it. 

“why don’t you- all you’ve ever wanted to do was kill me and jack and my brothers and- well, here’s your opportunity!” chase spreads his arms wide, not caring that he’s shouting in this public stairwell. “so kill me! torture me if you have to! come on, isn’t this what you wanted?” he’s crying, and anti’s blank face is making him want to hit him. “isn’t this what you wanted?”

for a moment anti says nothing. then he breaks out in a huge grin. “it’s more fun to watch you suffer.” he says nonchalantly. anti pushes past chase and jumps onto the banister, sliding down the stairwell out of sight, leaving chase shaking with rage and grief.

he finds the woman halfway down to the bottom of the stairwell. she’s slumped against the wall in between two doors. her throat has been slit open. there’s no knife left behind. chase leaves the pass on her unmoving chest and continues walking.

chase finds anti waiting for him in the lobby, sitting at the bottom stair and tossing his bloodstained knife from hand to hand.

“why’d you kill her?” he asks casually.

anti shrugs. “she was annoying. i was walking up the stairs after you cause i’d seen you go in the building, right, and she was there and she was all like, hey aren’t you the guy i let onto the roof? and i was like no, that’s my brother, and then i asked why she let you up, and she said because you had an apartment here and you’d shown her your id and house key, and i asked what you’d said your name was, and she was like oh, some german name, i can’t really remember, and then i realized this was the ol’ doctor’s apartment building and that’s why you were up here, right, but the woman was starting to be all weird and she started saying weird stuff and her eyes went weird, so i killed her. are you listening to me?”

chase is not listening to him. he is staring at the noticeboard hung on the wall, which is mostly covered in graffiti and advertisements. but in the centre is a poster- a wanted poster, a proper wanted poster, with chase’s face on it. wanted for the murder of wife stacy brody and kids louise brody and connor brody, said the poster. he doesn’t read the rest of it. he simply leaves the building. 

it is freezing cold out, but he doesn’t care. he shoves his hands in his hoodie pockets and starts walking, tuning out the cars and trucks roaring by and the loud chatter of passerbys and the group of people busking on the corner and the people yelling across the streets to each other and the wind roaring in his ears. all the sounds make him want to claw his ears off so he never has to hear anything again, especially not that terrible glitching sound that he hears now next to him, or the familiar voice asking him to stop in a strained voice-

he turns. anti is standing just behind him, bent over, hands on his knees. the crowd of people part around him as though he isn’t even there. chase considers leaving him. but he’s curious as to what is putting so much pain in anti’s voice.

“what- what’s up?” chase asked tentatively. anti stands up straight. his face is completely drained of colour. he doesn’t answer chase’s question, just stumbles to his side. 

“where are we going?” anti says. chase doesn’t care enough to challenge his decision to ignore him.

“i don’t give a fuck where you’re going, but i’m out of money. probably going to sleep in the park again.” he turns away from anti and begins walking again.

“wait!” anti calls, and chase groans before stopping. 

“god, what the fuck do you want?” he knows there’s no point in being angry. but this whole situation is becoming his worst nightmare. his brothers- jackie, marvin, henrik, jamie- are all gone except for the one he didn’t want to be stuck with, and the world is fucking ending.

“i can get money,” anti says. the pain is gone from his face, and he gives chase a wicked smile. “wait here.”

he dissolves, leaving chase staring at the empty space where he once was. the fact that none of the people walking around them even notice what just happened tells chase all he needs to know. the situation is getting worse. in fact, as he looks around, he can see that something is definitely wrong. he can’t tell what, but something is off about the crowd, all  jabbering loudly in chase’s ears. he sits on a bench a couple metres away from where he was. at the other end of the bench is a young woman with dark hair and a long blue dress. chase looks at her face, and he sees what’s wrong- there is no emotion there. her eyes are dead, glassed over, and her mouth hangs open slightly. chase glances behind him, and sees that, yes, it’s the same for all of them- unfocused eyes and blank expressions everywhere. it gives him chills. he turns back around, facing forward, making eye contact with no one.

the world is fucking ending, he thinks for the millionth time that day.

anti is usually back within minutes, but after having sat there for ten, chase begins to worry. not for anti, he couldn’t give less of a shit about anti, but for the poor citizens who are having to put up with him. he wonders what the hell anti’s doing to ‘get money’, and how many people he’s going to kill to do it. chase wonders why he doesn’t just leave anti. then he reminds himself that no matter where he goes, anti is sure to find him. also, whether he likes it or not, he’s all chase has left in the world.

he feels immediately guilty after having thought that. the things anti has done to him and his brothers- he tries to imagine what henrik or jackie would say, knowing he was fraternizing with the enemy. he almost laughs at the dumb way he’s phrased that thought in his head- it makes anti sound like he’s a comic book villain, rather than a heartless murderer. chase closes his eyes.

wahoomp. the familiar sound fills chase with- relief? it couldn’t be that. chase opens his eyes and, instead of turning to ask anti why he’d taken so long, he glances at his watch. “wow, twenty three minutes,” chase quipped. “glitch demon’s gotten slow, has he?” it’s then that he turns to glance at anti, and his heart almost stops at the sight. anti is clinging to the back of the bench, wheezing. his face is white and he looks like he might faint. his nose and eyes are bleeding, and he’s shaking so badly chase doesn’t know how he’s remaining upright. “holy shit,” chase murmured. he’s got no fucking clue what to do. thankfully, the woman on the bench is gone, so when anti drags himself round the side of the bench he’s free to collapse onto it. anti gasps in pain, and leans his head back so chase can see how badly his neck is bleeding. chase stays silent, staring at anti wide eyed. he’s never seen anti hurt before, and he doesn’t know if he should try to help or not.

after about thirty seconds, anti leans forward, his head almost touching his knees. his legs are shaking. he reaches into his hoodie pocket and pulls out a wad of cash, shoving it into chase’s hand without looking at him.

chase clutches it tightly. “man. holy shit. are you…” he falters. anti waves him off, and wipes at his face. all he does is smear the blood around. neither of them point it out.

eventually anti looks up. “let’s get a hotel room,” he says. chase obliges.

they go to the nearest hotel. they book a room for two. the dead eyed man at the desk doesn’t question the bloodstained money, or the way anti is leaning against chase’s shoulder, relying on him to keep him upright. it’s getting worse, chase thinks as he takes the hotel key and pretty much drags anti to the elevator. chase should have realized that was a stupid idea, given anti’s current state. as soon as they step in, the entire thing short circuits, the lights giving out. anti makes a pained sound and leans in closer to chase’s chest. he stands in the darkened elevator, staring out through the opened doors across the hallway to the front doors where they had come in, out to the cars and people passing by outside. he doesn’t know how long he stands there for, but he’s eventually snapped back to reality when he anti mutters “grey? what are… fuck. did i break…” he tries to straighten himself, and as much as he hates it, chase’s dad instincts kick in and he wraps his arms around anti, holding him tighter to prevent him from falling. they exit the elevator and slowly make their way upstairs. a boy is sprawled out on the stairs next to their room. he’s breathing, but not moving, his eyes unfocused. chase opens the door to their room and anti immediately frees himself from chase and runs to the bathroom. he can hear him throwing up. 

chase scans the room. it’s fairly large, with (thankfully) two beds at either side of the room, with a dresser and a lamp on either side. there’s a set of drawers on the other side of the room next to the bathroom door, and above it is a large tv.  across from the room door is a balcony with tall glass doors and cream coloured curtains that match the walls. chase sighs and throws himself down on the bed closest to the door. there is a remote on his bedside table. he turns on the tv and the news comes on screen. it’s the same news report that he saw yesterday, and the day before that, and every day for the last three months. it hasn’t changed. henrik had determined that it stopped changing round about the time that the people of the city had started acting strangely. marvin had figured that without any outside force guiding them anymore, their minds had started to disappear, all personality draining from the and causing them to forget things slowly. chase remembers sitting in his chair in the kitchen, clutching a cup of tea tightly in both hands as the two had discussed this. he remembers the anger he had felt, not towards his brothers, but towards him. how could he have just left them like this? did he not care? had he really forgotten them?

he hears the toilet flush and anti exits the bathroom. he’s still pale and trembling. slowly, he crosses the room to the remaining bed and lays down, facing the wall away from chase. he feels the need to say something.

“so, uh,” he hesitates. “are you sick or something? i didn’t think you could get sick.”

anti is silent for a moment. “neither did i,” he mumbled. “i guess it’s to do with- you know. the bullshit we’ve been left with. we’re probably both going to get progressively weaker and weaker and then we’ll both die.” he says this last bit so bluntly that chase can’t help but be taken aback.

“it’s not his fault-”

“it is his fault,” anti shoots back without hesitation. he sits up and chase can see the ghost of the bloodstains on his face. he looks sick and tired and so much the opposite of the anti he knows. “he fucking left us here to die, adidas. all of us, including your wonderful brothers that he loved so much.” anti sneers, and shakes his head. “he was just using you. all of you. and well, he got what he wanted, didn’t he? wow, i wonder how many views we racked up for him and his fucking channel! probably enough for him to pay his fucking bills for a month or two, maybe he took his shitty girlfriend out to dinner or something-”

“shut up,” chase snaps. he sits up too, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed. “it’s not his fault, he clearly doesn’t remember, and who’s fucking fault is that, eh? who was it that put him in a coma in the first place?”

anti laughs without humour. “if we’re being technical, it was really your doctor who-”

“don’t start that shit with me!” chase warns. he’s trembling with rage. “you know fine fucking well that you were posessing him, it was never his fault!”

anti smirks. “what? me? i would never do such a thing.”

tears blur chase’s vision. “how can you laugh about all of this! none of this is fucking funny, we’re both in the same boat here, anti! we’re both going to die if we don’t think of something to-” 

“don’t you get it?” the smile has disappeared from anti’s face and has been replaced with a look of disgust. “he literally left us to die! he doesn’t care! he-”

“he’s forgotten!” chase yells. he stands up and anti almost seems to shrink back. “he doesn’t remember us because of you!”

“don’t give me that horseshit,” anti snarls. he stands too, despite how much effort it seems to be taking out of his body. “he woke up here, asshole. he left by choice. he seemed to know enough to figure out how to get back into his own dimension, didn’t he?”

the anger seems to leave chase all at once, and he positively sags. through the tears, he sees anti’s triumphant face. “you see?” he says quietly. “the wonderful mister jack turns out to not be so wonderful after all.”

chase lies back down. he turns off the lamp next to his bed. he doesn’t look at anti.

...suspect has been apprehended outside of papa john’s on dumberham street by several officers who were tipped off by an anonymous caller. police are working on tracing-

chase turns off the tv. the room is silent.

he takes his phone out of his pocket and opens youtube. he clicks on his subscription list without even needing to think about it and finds the familiar green icon he’s looking for. the last video on his channel hasn’t changed- the thumbnail is still a picture of jack’s face, wearing his glasses and a grey shirt, looking serious with his coloured lights in the background switched off. the title is still the same. chase isn’t sure what he was expecting.

he turns his phone off and sobs silently. he knows anti can hear him, but he doesn’t care. he just wants everything to stop.

outside, the world is ending.

[aheartyouonceknew]

The Love that nearly destroyed me.

This is a detailed account of my experience of my love with a blogger and ex fiance, this is my story.

 (please forgive any grammatical errors)

A bit of back story, i met her through a family member. When we first met were attracted to each other almost instantly. We drove to Vegas and saw all the casino's and had a blast. As time went on we both grew even more attracted to each other and before the end of the first night we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. On the second night we are getting ready to go out and I am looking in the mirror and I jokingly tease 'would you date me? Id date me' while doing a silly flex.  

'what are you gay or something?' She asks me.

'I say no im 100% sure im straight but I have made out with guys before and realised it wasn’t for me.'

She goes wide eyed and freezes up. I ask her what's wrong, but she refuses to look at me or even touch me. I then realised she actually may be homophobic, and I tell her im not gay. She is stone cold. I then realised she as a practicing Christian, that this was a big no no for her.

I tell her that’s all in the past, and that I am comfortable with who I am. She refuses to speak to me or look at me, so i give up and I leave the room upset. 

Later that night after dinner, I see her again, she tells me not to talk about it again and we should just forget about it. We have a blast in Vegas, get very drunk. We have this amazing connection and attraction towards her. Sadly the trip had to end but we both decide to meet again.

A couple of days later i meet in her home town in a motel, met her little one and it was fantastic. That same night i get a message from my ex gf asking how my trip was. She glares at me, demanding to know who I was talking to. I panic and casually tell her 'just an old friend.' She demands to know who it is and asks me for my phone. I oblige, she tgen scrolls and see's old texts of my ex and i.

She flips out.

Bare in mind this was less then a week of knowing each other. I didn’t even get a chance to delete my Tinder (to which she saw). I tried to explain to her that this was all moving so fast and I hadnt had the time to sort all these things or even consider them at the time.

So we are in the motel room and she flips out, grabbing her things and is ready to leave. Im on my knee's telling her im sorry etc. She looks at me and asks me what I am willing to do to be with her. I say anything. She says 'ok delete and create a new facebook'.

Im shocked, over 10 years of memories and family photos? Gone?

I tell her I cant do that cause those were too sentimental.

She then decides she wants me to block and delete any female friends I had a relationship sexual or non sexual, she then demands I delete my Snapchat and Instagram accounts. I obliged.

The next thing I regret doing so the most, is to my ex gf of mine.

She tells me to message her, and tell her that I don’t ever want to talk to her ever again (within those terms). I did so, and I felt like a scumbag for hurting thst poor girl that did nothing ill towards me.

After a long hours talk of me asking for forgiveness, we make up.

A week later she decides to bring herself and her little one to my mums house to feel how we are together. My dream is to be a father and I would love her child like my own. 

So we are at the house and it was the most perfect week of my life, it was bliss and I knew I wanted this. After the week ended I then realised I had one week left. We were both devastated as I had to fly back to Bali to work for my dad. I then wanted to prove my commitment to her (because I was in love with her at the time) .

So that night I went into my backyard while she was in the living room and dressed up in a black suit and lit an array of candles in my back yard.  I messaged her to come out, and I was standing there, she smiled beautifully and kept laughing, I grabbed her by the had and said, 'I may not have much right now, so I cant give you a ring. But what I can give you is a promise that I want to share my life with you.' I then turned to her little one and gave a solem vow to protect her and care for her as my own. 

The next day we contact her parents, and they are shocked and scared. Everything is happening so quickly, too quickly they say. But after a long talk, the father and mother gave me their blessing. I promised to take care of their daughter and gave them my word. Lots of tears of joy were shed. 

The day arrives when I have to leave, I take the plane back and meet my dad and step mum. I told my dad that I was engaged and he gives me this sour look, 'you only knew her for less then a month, what do you know of love?'.

My dad had promised me work to build echo friendly villas, to which he promised me a stable income in which I could provide for her and her little one when they were here. 

What my dad didn’t tell me was that a deal he had fell through, and that the money that was supposed to come in to build the resort wont be available so the resort building is postponed.  He tells me I can work for him as a manager, but will only pay me when the business starts to take off and I show my worth.  

I am furious.

I had this whole plan that I was relying on my dad, I believed in him to keep his word. Now that it had fell through not only did I feel like I lied to her but her family as well. I asked my dad would it be ok if she was welcome to come live here? 

 He said of course, I'll support her in any way I can. So I talked to my Fiance and she asks 'will he buy us the tickets?As I already spent hundreds of dollars on passports and luggage.'

 I tell her he said any way he can.

 I then have a conference call with my dad and fiance. My fiance asks when can he book the tickets for the trip?

I never said that he says.

He explains when he will support her anyway he can means when she gets here with her own money. (take in mind I left my old job in australia and have $0 to my name) So another lie in her eyes and to her family.

 I talk to my dad and I tell him, if she cant be here then Im going back to the US, he says ok. ‘If you really love her I'll pay for your ticket’. I tell her about me going back, she asks if there is anything I can do to make some money?  I tell her I have my camera and gopros that I could sell. She says 'good sell them' I hesitate, the camera's have sentimental value as they were the first gift my dad ever sent me. She then takes my hesitation as a message of unloyalty. She then yells abuse at me over and over, repeating my faults and telling her of her willingness to sacrifice everything. (to which I understand).

 I then promise her to sell the cameras to get my tickets to the US as my dad has proven unreliable. But I hold back from selling the camera's, I don’t tell her about this as I am hoping my dad will follow through.

That night my dad is upset at me for coming here and giving up on the family for '' some chick in the US''. I felt torn on both ends, but I do love my fiance and I will fight for her. He tells me if that’s the case then I ill receive no support from him. 

 Later that night I responded to all the well wishes of the engagement, an old french high school friend (who is a lesbian) contacted me. I say thank you beautiful as I nickname her beautiful as I have always done. I then get a phone call of my fiance yelling at me saying I shouldn’t compliment any girl, and that I should be her main focus. I try to explain my reasoning but she wouldn’t listen so again I apologies and accept defeat.

 A couple of days go by and my fiance asks if I had posted the cameras, I said not yet but I am doing so now. More hurled abuse, more fighting. I post the camera's and get terrible prices for them that would barely get me to the US.

 Later that night my fiance calls me up, she is so happy. My mum and her have decided to pitch in to get me here, and that I can sell the camera's in the US for a better price. And that it would be best if we move to Australia together and when I get settled I can pay her and my mum back for the ticket.

But there was a catch,

I have to leave the next night. My fiance urges me to tell my dad of me leaving but I don’t. I hold off in telling my dad at the last second as he had my passport in holding, I feared he would refuse to give me my passport and not let me leave.

When i finally have the passport in my hands i decode to break the news to him.

He is devastated.

I then feel sorry for him and I give him one of my best go pro's to use for his surfing and that he can pay me whatever feels right. So later that night I fly to the US.

Once I arrived, we finally met. She decided to stay at my mothers house while my mother was in paris on a holiday, it would just be me and her.  

It was as if a day had not gone by, the same feelings arose and all was well. I took care of her little one by changing the diapers, feeding, and playing. I was in bliss, I wanted to prove to her and show her I could do this. One thing that I never told her was I did feel a lot of shame how I left things with my dad, and I was quite upset, but I put on a smile whenever I could. Later that day i get a message from my dad and found out my dad decided to just pay me $100 ¼ of what the camera was worth, i kind of minded on the sale being so cheap.  

She also was not happy, she yells at me, demanding that I pay her the money I owe her by selling the camera's. The next day I successfully sell part of my camera sets and pay her back and she is happy.

 One day I am feeling very horny, I tease her and I am extra affectionate towards her. I tell her she is beautiful and does this to me and that I am so lucky to have a girl like her. As the day goes by I am still like a dog on heat. She leads me to the bed room. I get super excited and playful, she then pushes me away and says 'im going to masturbate now.'  Im like 'awesome sure let me help'.

‘No, I dont want you touching me but we can masturbate side by side’.

At first I thought she was joking, but at the same time I am extremely hurt.

I think to myself...

 'Did I do anything wrong?'

'Is she still attracted to me?'

So I am visibly upset I get up and put my clothes on and leave the room.  After about 20 minutes she comes out and I am still upset at her.  I tell her Im just going to lie down for a bit, she lays next to me and asks if im ok and apologises for not wanting to sleep with me as she wasnt feeling well. I then tell her don’t worry about it, I'll get over it.  I then jokingly told her that I kinda went to lie down so I could masturbate as I needed to release myself.

 She then leaves the room. I then emerge from the room relaxed and satisfied. She is scowling at me packing her bags.... She is furious that I decided to masturbate and demanded if I masturbated to other girls or to porn? 

I am in disbelief as I felt like there were some double standards.  It’s the hotel room all over again, I beg for her not to leave, but she decides to stay.

 *Just a note, I respect a women's choice to refuse sex to a man if she doesn’t feel like it. But I cant help to feel upset.*

 A couple of days go by my mother returns from paris and she goes back to her home town. We both plan on me visiting her family and me staying at her dads or sisters house while there. Unfortunately they both said they couldn’t house me.  She then asks to sell the rest of the gear so I could rent a motel for us to stay. I agree. After the phone call i talk to my mum and tell her everything, my mum says that its only fair i pay her back as well, since i did so with Carolyn.

Yet again I am at a crossroads, but I made a promise to pay my mother back so I agreed to pay my mum. I told my fiance that I will still be seeing her but I would only stay for during the day as I cant afford the motel. She is furious, 'what about the money from the camera gear?' I try to explain to her. But she refuses to listen. Yelling above my voice not giving me a chance to speak she tells me not to come, and that she is sick of the empty promises I never fulfil.  She removes our engagement status and blocks me on all forms of social media.

 I am devastated, im a heaping sobbing mess to my mum. I love her I really do....I cry. I decided to accept things as they were, so I decided to install Tinder (more to which to heal my wounds and insecurities of being dumped). With the app installed im staring at the swipe screen, and I just cant do it. So I uninstall the app.

 I decided to heal the bridges I destroyed and contacted my old ex. I call her just telling her i was sorry for what I had said/done. 

 'You really hurt me, you really really hurt me' she cried. I cried.

 'But I forgive you, because I don’t believe in holding onto hate.' I cry again.

  After the talk I felt better that she accepted my apology, but sad knowing things may never be as they were. But it felt good to hear her laugh again.

Later that night I was trying to relax when I get a phone call. 

Its my now ex fiance. 

 I ask her what does she want? She then tells me she didn’t feel like things ended correctly and wanted to make things right. I had enough 

Correctly? None of this has ended correctly. I yell.

 I tell her that the real reason she is calling is to mask this guilt, I told her I did my best with the cards I was dealt but it was never enough. But to know I at least tried and never gave up on her. The real person who is given up is you. 

 I then hung up. (and yes that was dramatic as it was in the heat of the moment).

 She calls me back, and I ask her. Do you really love me?  Yes shes tells me. My heart ache's.

I then tell her that i love her and that I will see her tomorrow to have a real talk.

 The next day I take the train to see her, she hops out of the uber and is skipping towards me in a joyful mood. Im cold and numb by this point, i have an emotional barrier up. She hugs me, kissing my arm etc.  

'Lets talk.'

We go into the café and sit across from each other in an awkward silence.  I tell her I am doing the best I can, and that I believe once I am in control of my own life in Australia we can finally have a normal life. She tells me she loves me and wants that too. She wants things to work, and I really felt like she does.  We make up and everything is perfect again, but then she stops and has this smile...Like she is looking forward to something. 

She then asks, 'Did you install Tinder?' 

 I am completely caught off guard and blurt out 'no', as I uninstalled the app. She pulls out the phone in this satisfied smile and ask 'then whats this?' Showing my tinder profile.

 I tell her that yes, i installed it but never used it. 

 'have you been talking to any other girls on social media?'

 I decided to tell the truth.

‘Yes, my ex...but only to sa-’,She then gets up and leaves

 'if your talking to her again why don’t you just be with her.' And she walks out.

 And that’s when I felt like I was done, emotionally just done.

A couple weeks have gone by, and she's moved on.

 Although I do look her up from time to time, I am glad that she is happy, I decided to tell this story because I felt like this is part of my healing process. I really did love her. But i dont think she ever loved me.

 I felt like she loved the idea of me being a father role, but never really loved me.

 She is a hypocrite in most cases on her stances towards men, but that is her reality. I respect her beliefs and her views to empower women but at the same time its contradictory, I dont judge her on her stance towards homosexuality or if religious views.

 I moved my life for a love that never deserved or appreciated me, the control factor is scary. The mind games of her holding onto that tinder info waiting to use it on me like a loaded gun showed me she enjoys the control over men. 

 But don’t get me wrong, this poor girl has been through so much and I understand her distrust towards men (its why I put up with everything). At the same time I do feel sorry for her because of the men in her past has left her broken, its the sad fact of one persons crazy is another persons reality. 

If any of you that read this, that has suffered from emotional abuse please dont  hesitate to reach out.

[crazyspookies]

S7M1+2

So, i wasn’t planing on going back to making recaps but i had a couple thoughts that im going to leave here somewhere! :)

M1

1) This is such a nice way to start the season. Also, it kinda feels like one of those national holidays in wich you still go to school but you mostly do other activities that are nothing like your usual classes and the whole school is full of kids going aroudn doing activities or going on a little school trip you know what i mean.

2) “the patchwork cushions look cheerful, and the handmade scepter and mace are a delight!” What a nice reporter i like her.

3) Royal Roller Derby, now a tradition :’/

4) “Me and Five are just in the outer hall. It’s so quiet, anyone could hear! “ Are there any other people here? Are we like, officialy escorting janine as representant of Abel Township? I can’t imagine we’re the only source of security here, i mean, this is a peace conference there should be other people from the other major townships and royal security to make sure nothing happens to their representants, right?

6) “ Five, do you hear that? Bikes.”

Me: it begins

7) “She’ll hear you, and beat you with an Abel pennant later! Janine’s intel is never wrong.“ Sam i love you but lmao in what delusional limbo do you live to even think janine’s intel can ever be wrong

8) “[motorcycle engines roar, laughter, glass shatters]”

9)”And there’s a little disturbance, as we all knew there might be" I love it that we all knew that. Peace conference? Obviously someting’s going to go down

10) Ok, Sorry For Party Rocking? Best song choice ever, great party, 10/10 would recommend

11) I am so weirdly charmed by these toe eating chaos viallians. After having to deal with Sigrid, who if we go by evidence, is a generally much higher profile kind of villian, this is a lot of fun. Like, the stakes are still high, because of the whole “we are going ot be bombed to death or killied insome other way thing but. You know, Sigrid was a cold villian. A conqueror, if you will, with her fingers in many important pots, orginized and a high goverment official. The contrast from that kind of angst to suddenly being surrounded by hot blooded chaos and..a bunch of picturesque baddies who cheer and provoque and make very overt threats is pretty fun. Kinda like little guideon and the prison inmates hahaha

12) Operator Rofflenet. Nice, this is cool, this is smart.

13) “ Abel! Abel scum! Look at their uniforms!” BRING IT ON BITCH

14) Me, listening to the biker chaos: am i on the fury road

15)  “ No uniform will save you from the chaos, Abel! [laughs] Come here, little Abel. [kissy noises]” im crying bless your terrible soul you dickhead i can’t believe he’s making kissy noises and giving me classic villian dialogue this is amazing. But also, if i was actually there and someone did this at me id want to smash their face with a rock.

16) "I am getting a very Weinstein vibe from that biker” rock in the face it is

17)” We’re going to kill you slowly. We’re going to eat you piece by piece, starting with the toes “ IM SORRY BUT IM LAUGHING SO HARD COS THERE’S BEEN SO MANY SUCKING TOES MEMES THESE PAST FEW WEEKS, ESPECIALLY WITH THIS PIC AND IM CRYING

18) I’m sorry but, what kind of bad evil cannibals put a burning manequinn on top of a van rather than an actual corpse? Like? I imagine wood takes longer to charr? So what ytou’re saying is that this absolutley was an aesthetic decision

M2

1) On the one hand i’m sad that jody always puts herself down comparing herself to janine. Like, ok, janine might be better at tactics but jody is really good and the truth is, Janine is not there so why compare yourself at all? This applies especially to season 6, because janine very literally LEFT to do a different mission and left the township in our hands. It’s of no use to think “she would do it better”, she’s not here AND she left this work to us, so that means she trusts us enough to get things done without her (and let’s be honest, that’s a great compliment? especially if janine is such a perfectionist?). So, on the one hand i don’t enjoy jody making these comments (especially because?? she’s actually a super good tactician anyway? jody istg) , but on the other i like how they twisted this by showing something jody is good better at than janine, which is diplomacy. I like how they make a note that maybe on this mission it might have been more beneficial for them to have been switched on this mission, and to have played their strengths in a more profitable way.  I feel it could be interesting to expand on this, especially with this thing jody is doing with the uhhh thingamabob to reach other countries

2) Alright, so V types. If V types bit a corpse and it reanimates, does that corpse become a V type too and is it able to reanimate other corpses? From what sam says about the biker who is turned, it seems that it most possibly yes, and if he can infect other corpses this becomes a really really bad situation. It really changes the way we have to deal with zombs AND living people who die in any way or form from now on. Corpses from people who die should probably be incinerated to make sure they cannot reanimated. I believe there’s religions that are not too hot about that (badumtss) so i guess there would have to be a difficult conversation to be had there.

I’ve been curious about how did old timey people made sure to make those V types to go to sleep though. I should look it up but I think to remember that the blue flowers and Loki the sorceress were mentioned in this. The blue flowers calm normal zombies down, and it would be interesting to try that out with the V types, see how that works. I don’t quite remember what the deal with the viking blood was but maybe there’s something to reaserch there too, seeing as it was old as balls and probably more likeley to work with the original virus rather than the new types of zombies created by sigrid.

If we got a way to get them super duper high with blue flower extract or whatever, then it might help getting rid of them. All in all, we really need to get them in big numbers and maybe move them to a location where we can get rid of them. Like, if they can infect corpses it will not take much time until we are overwhelmed by the numbers of immortal zombies yakno?

3) On this very note, peeps being idiots and not believing janine about the new V type is so infuriation lmao what the fuck mate we have already gone through so much you REALLY don’t believe us, because we didn’t do everything you wanted when you needed us to (eventhough we were, ya know, busy trying to debunk a fascist regime and all that)? that is some hard headed petty denial right there. My inmediate idea is: somehow capture a V-type, put it in a cage, and get janine and jody play good cop/ bad cop with the other memers in the house of commons, all super theatrical. Jody talks in an appeasing way, janine delivers hard facts, and then dramatically shoots the zombie in the head. Everyone gasps horrifically at the zombie still being alive and janine makes an iconic metaphorical Mic Drop ™

4) Another thing this whole flodding that district no one lives in reminded me is that i’m really worried about is exacly how much can a zombie infect water itself? I think this Might be one of those plot hole moments because?? I think we have stated that contact with infected blood turns people, but who hasn’t been splattered by killing a zombie with an axe? Or while killing an infected person that has not yet turned? If there’s enough zombies underwater close to the beach, is a certain part of the current infected to? What about lakes or rivers? Too many corpses in general poison the water in normal circumstances so what if those corpses are infected? wont the water carry the infection? (how much water is enough to dillute it?)

[jessieleaf]

GENCON 2017 (Part 3)

Saturday: (The long post that is basically a blog post)

(Like...This is really long, but super interesting. So much happened and I want to share it all with you guys. I let you know when you can drop off after I relay my interactions with the cast, but if ye be brave enough, there was so much more that happened in that day and I encourage you to keep reading and ask me any questions about it.)

Pretty much describes my costume for that day.

I was super nervous about this costume, especially with how sheer the shirt was and how much it revealed. When my mom first took it out of the box, I couldn’t believe that this little thing was supposed to be what I was going to wear to the con.

Wardrobe malfunctions were bound to happen, so I had to get comfortable with the idea that yeah, some people might catch a peak at a little more than you had wanted them to, but in the end I decided that I really didn’t care. I’d prevent what I could and accept the inevitable. Also, in the Indianapolis humidity, this top was super breezy and comfortable, so I rolled with it and wore the thing proudly. I looked super sexy in it too, so that helped. (And if you are wondering, I had something on under the top, so nothing terrible would have shown in case of a malfunction).

The wings were from a company called Isis (no relation to the extreme terrorist organization) and were extremely fun to dance about in. The skirts took the longest to find/make since I was looking for a specific kind of wrap but hadn’t realized the name of what I needed was a sarong. The gold fabric is store bought, which I used to make the gold layer on the skirt and the bracers. We also used a little on the collar of the wings, just to make the colors blend more. Fun Fact: I wore the same shoes @gatherthewords​ did the previous day for her Allura costume.

We woke up that morning around nine pretty groggily (heh), as it was the day right after the live show. Halfway through getting ready, Chris began to realize that she’d lost something last night. Her wallet was nowhere to be found. She couldn’t go to the party without her Id. She couldn’t leave the state. She’d be stuck in Indiana until she either found it or got a temporary ID from the DMV or went through an interrogation process at the airport so that security could make sure she was who she said she was.

We eventually reasoned that since she had bought food from the theatre last night, it was probably either there, or in our Uber driver’s car. The theatre had another show that night, but didn’t open until later in the day around 5 pm. So, with a plan in mind to go searching for it after spending the day at the convention, we got ready and headed out around 11:45 to Lucas Oil Stadium to wait in line for the Critical Role signing with the cast. (Fun Fact: I did bring tea cups and little saucers for our cosplay for the fandom headcanon gag, but I forgot them at the house when we left.)

We put on the finishing touches to our costumes outside the Stadium and I tested out my wings for the first time. As expected, this happened.

Yep. Just as expected.

We headed inside and found the line, where there were about 15 or so people lined up who had tickets and several other hopefuls without. We met http://tieflingofcolor.tumblr.com (sorry the @ wouldn’t work) and popped a squat next to her. It was only 12:30 by this time and the signing was at three, but I had plenty to keep me occupied. 

(gif by @mobius_strip on twitter)

Then we took a lot of pictures. I won’t post all, but here are the best.

(Sarenrae and the Raven Queen had too much wine last night)

We then started to see the line form, and I saw some Pikes. I got very excited. Very Excited. 

I wouldn’t be Sarenrae if I didn’t fangirl over my favorite girl.

@arielleishere and @janebooks showed up, with Arielle still rocking the Ka’Varn cosplay. She killed it all weekend with that costume yo. We chatted, danced, took more pictures, and welcomed the cosplayers and fans that started to gather for the signing. 

Then Frank and Alex appeared, you know, the two dudes from Thursday that I met in line for one of Matt’s panels. Chris went to chat with them while I posed for pictures, and she got Frank’s players handbook for Matt to sign, since she herself didn’t have much for the cast to sign. 

Then...the cast showed up. Like...it makes your heart go a-flutter when you have them so close, wandering about, within arm’s reach but separated by a barrier. 

I get like everyone else, even though I try desperately to play it off. I try to convince myself with a “HEY THEY ARE NORMAL PEOPLE PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER AND HAVE A GOOD CONVERSATION WITH THEM,” pep talk, but you know how that goes. Never really works. 

The cast was looking up at the cosplayers in the stands when they first arrived, but I was able to catch Matt’s eye with a wave and hello, and his face...fucking lit up. Like that man’s smile sent me reeling backwards into the astral plane. I grabbed my wings and did a little demonstration and Sarenrae help me he looked so happy. The crowd behind me oohed a little so I tried my best to get visible for them and waved my wings about. I really don’t know how many of the cast saw me do that other than Taliesin. No one told me how they reacted, and I was too focused on Matt yelling to me and Chris “You look amazing!” I don’t remember exactly, but I do remember Taliesin complimenting us as well. My flipping heart was going to start doing palpitations.

We waited a bit after for the cast to get ready (Most of them were rolling to see what beholder ray they got hit by with @arielleishere ‘s cosplay and Sam had gone over to give @cowboybootsandhuntershelper the biggest hug for her Scanlan sitting on Bigby’s hand cosplay). When they started to let people filter in, they had one line waiting to sign up with their emails for the Scanlan de-call stickers and covers, while others could just go straight through if they didn’t want it. I had no need for the stickers (probably upset my roommate for not grabbing them) so...much to my dismay, we were  one of the first people to go up and get stuff signed. And Matt was first.

I had one image I wanted to get signed, after quite a bit of deliberation.

I had cleaned up this image (Which I shall post later when I find a scanner big enough to support it) and knew that most of the cast had probably not seen it. It didn’t do well on Twitter like I had wanted it to, and I had spent far too long and had lost too many hours of sleep to not see this image get the proper respect it fucking deserved (it did ok on Tumblr. More people here watch Steven Universe and enjoyed the cross-over.) Also, I made a promise to @the-jonesy that I would say hello to Liam for them, since they were bummed they couldn’t go. Then, when I realized that I would only have one item for the entire cast to sign, I doubled down and offered to bring an image for Liam to sign. Jonesy provided the wonderfully angsty art, and I got it signed.

Ok, back to me freaking out. 

I was laughing and joking around up until that point when one of the geek & sundry officials ushered us forward. I was even teasing Chris because her face was basically expressing how I felt on the inside. Then I got closer to Matt and my heart leapt into my throat. My hands started to shake and I turned to Chris and basically went “ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh there he is.”

Matt, as I’m sure you will all agree, is probably the most respected and one of the most prominent cast members. He is kind, open, accepting, lovable, nerdy, and to me, the kind of person I’d love to be best friends with. I admire his work and everything he puts his heart into, and wish nothing but happiness for him. 

I remember walking up and smiling, saying “Hi Matt!”

He brightened up again. Fuck. “Hi! You look amazing!” 

“Thank you so much! We were going to have tea cups, but I forgot them in a rush to get here.”

He laughed at that and said something along the lines of that being brilliant. He knew. My mind went around back to it later...but the man knew about the fandom headcanon. I had no indication before that the cast knew about this one particular fandom idea, one that I loved dearly and had done so much thinking and artwork for. They knew about it and liked it. Be still my beating heart I am so happy.

I told him that I had been Kima yesterday, the one who took off her dress, and Raven Queen send my soul back to my body his face lit up again. 

“Oh yeah! You guys looked great!” (Reminder this is just a paraphrase since I don’t recall all of the conversation, or what particular order it is in)

I mentioned that I had been a bit anxious about how the joke had gone over when I did it for him after the VIP Q&A. He threw that idea out the window and said that he had loved it. I didn’t feel the heat because I was too dazed but anyone else watching would have probably seen my face turn red.

I gave him my picture to sign, which he gave an “Oh wow!” to, and wrote on top of Trinket with a little “Happy Bear” to go with. 

I don’t recall when this happened, if it was at the end or in the middle of this encounter, but Matt took both of my hands in his and looked me right in the face with the most genuine expression and said thank you.

His hands were really soft. His eyes were so flipping big. Fuck you guys. I’d put myself in front of a train for this man. I didn’t stop shaking after that.

I brought my picture over to Taliesin, and talked with him for a bit about the image, since he hadn’t ever seen it before (Like I said, it didn’t make too many rounds on twitter). He really seemed to like it, which made my heart all happy. I really admire the man, almost as much as I admire Matt, and to hear him say that just...aug it feels so good. 

Marisha was next, and I told her how much I liked the new design for Keyleth with shaved hair and tattoos. She really liked the tattoos as well, and I told her that they were my favorite part to draw. That’s pretty much it, other than the fact that she seemed to like the picture too. 3/8. 

I got to Liam and he looked the piece over while I took out Jonsey’s art. I told him that Jonsey said hi and that they’d wished they were there to meet him. I gave him their art to sign, and then he went back for my art. It was supposed to be one item per cast member, but he signed my art anyways.  This was the first time I’ve ever met the man up close, but he had this god-dammed smug ass look in his eye. I had wanted to tell him how much I appreciated his support, how much his attention to what I did meant to me. But this man...I forget exactly how it was brought up, something along the lines of Marisha asking who the artist was, me telling her it was my own work, and then her showing Liam the piece, repeating that I had drawn it. That man looked me dead on and said “I know who you are, I recognize the style.” 

FUCK YOU LIAM! YOU SHUT ME DOWN LIKE THAT AND I COULDN’T EVEN FORM WORDS TO THANK YOU PROPERLY! Damn my dudes, I hurried off to the Sam right after that, I was too lost for words.

The conversation with Sam was short after his initial “Oh wow” at the piece. I told him that he could either sign Tary or Scanlan (he chose Tary since he doesn’t get to sign for that character often) and let him know that his Scanlan inspired my own bard. I forget what we talked about after that, apologies. My hands were shaking.

I got over to Laura and Travis, asked them how their con was going, informed them that I had indeed drawn the piece, and thanked them after they signed. Not much happened there. 

I told @brianwfoster that he could sign Scanlan, since Sam had taken Tary. He decided to sign under Scanlan’s crotch like the proper troll he is. 

(I apologize if this is getting long. You don’t have to keep reading if you were only here for my cast interactions. The day is hardly over, and I have so much more to talk about, so I encourage you to continue, but I understand if you would like to move on.)

I was shaking so much after that, I couldn’t get my stuff put away properly. Chris came over and informed me that Liam had said “Thanks mom,” as she had moved down the line, and she had replied “Goodbye bird son.”

Frank was just about as excited as I was when Chris handed him back his Player’s Handbook with Matt’s signature. He didn’t stop beaming for, like, an hour. We heard screaming and cheering from the hopeful’s line and lo-and-behold, Steve was there playing Der and Der and had rolled a Nat 20. I went over to say hello, and started to chat with him when I saw a few Jenna, Devin, and his dad from Teri’s group. I demonstrated my wings for them and did a little spin. When I turned back around, I stopped to realize that everyone was staring. 

My god. I never have had so many eyes on me. I get goosebumps every time I think about it. I asked why everyone was suddenly so quiet, and someone said that, well, obviously they would be when I looked the way I did. 

Fuck ya’ll, I didn’t know until that moment how good of a decision this costume was. I usually just walk about in jeans and a red v-neck. I don’t get that much attention often.

I was then bombarded with picture requests, along with Christina (Because I may have looked good, but that girl looked just as stunning and got just as many (maybe even more) requests for pictures. 

(picture by Sabina )

Tony found us, having come to the signing in the hope that we’d be there. Glad he was able to. 

We had a ton of time to kill before we went to the theatre in search of Chris’s wallet. After we’d taken all the pictures, Tony, Alex, Frank, and the two of us headed to the convention hall in order to parooz around for a bit. We were stopped a ton by photographers, but we eventually made it. 

The first booth that we stopped at had some really neat dice, and Satine Phoenix seemed to think so too. She and Ruty were at the booth, and we said hello. They they were on their way out, but had stopped to view dice. At least, Satine had and Ruty was getting impatient because this didn’t appear to have been the only time Satine had stopped on their way out. I bought some cool dragon dice tho and Chris and I got mugs full of dice. Twas a good haul.

After a little while, Chris discovered she’s lost her glasses, which had been stored in her bag. 

I can only imagine how bad she must have felt, loosing two things in one day. Important items, vital to her trip and well-being. After taking a breather from the crowded exhibit hall, the six of us went back to the most logical place that she could have left them at. I had observed a gap under the stadium and field earlier where a friend’s water bottle had rolled under. I deduced that since our bags were up against that wall, and that Chris had been taking items out of her bag frequently in line, they must have fallen out under the stadium seats.

Rushing back to the stadium, we grabbed and official, who told us that they hadn’t found any glasses fitting the description we gave, but had one dude go over and look around the area. I followed him over and waited for a moment before he came back, holding the glasses. 

One item down, one to go. Chris got pretty emotional and I have to thank Sabina and @rollnat20charisma for going over and giving her love and hugs. Those girls are amazing. Teri sent pictures of us on the field from her spot in the line up in the stands, and I went up to inform her where we were going and where we would meet her. Then, someone asked me in the line who I was dressed as and I did my little wing display, which actually got some claps and cheers. Thanks to all those critters who liked my costume. I was super happy with it’s design and outcome. I’ve got nothing but love for everyone in the community.

Steve decided to join our when I came back down, so the six of us all went outside to Uber it over to the Theatre. Chris deemed us the Search Party. I’m the Bard, Chris is the Druid, Frank is our Cleric, Steve is the Monk, Alex is a Bard-Barian, and Tony is the Fighter. 

We get to the theatre, and lo-and-behold, the wallet was found and presented to Chris. Happily, we all decided to grab some grub before the Alpha party, as we didn’t know it was going to be open bar and buffet. 

We met up with Teri, Devin, and Jenna in line before Sabina and @rollnat20charisma sauntered up. We all got in and thus a night of drinking and dancing began. Since this post is long as it is, I’ll bullet point a few highlights for you.

- Ivan, Amy Dallen, Satine, Ruty, Ryan Green, @wendydoodles , @megzilla87 , @anodesu , Becca, Amy Vorpal, Sax, @critrolestats , Matt Abernathy and many others were among the Geek and Sundry attendants there. Travis from @theadventurezone was there too, and I’m sure I would have been much more excited to see him if I listened to the podcast.

- I immediately started to dance with Tony for a real long time.

- I was able to talk with @anodesu (who I identified because I had asked to see what she was sketching and recognized her style immediately), Ryan Green , one of the correspondents for the Alpha’s social media, and one of the recent hosts from project pixel on alpha (which, if you are an artist, you should definitely check out).

- I danced off and on all night, but I came back in once to begin to party again and @qunaributts had taken off her Tary facial hair and wig (not that it wasn’t attractive), @cowboybootsandhuntershelper (who had come in a variant of her party gilmore cosplay) had let her hair down, and Sabina was letting her blond curls loose. The song was upbeat, we were dancing, and then those girls...well, I drew something to show you what I felt during those couple of songs: 

(I’m such a hopeless bi-sexual. I don’t know how Chris puts up with me.)

- I was telling one man about how I hadn’t yet seen Amy Dallen or Amy Vorpal at the party yet, but he told me Amy D was there and offered to go get her for me. I’m not the kind to have someone just go up and demand the attention of someone I admire and pull them away from a conversation (unless I’m trying to show a cosplay gag, then I have all the confidence in the world). I gave him an uneasy “Eh, I don’t know,” to which he responded with a smile and said  he’d be right back with Amy flipping Dallen.

Tony, bless him, asked me if I really wanted the guy to go and get Amy. I shook my head and Tony bolted inside to go and stop him, but he was too late. After a minute, Amy came out, the man who had retrieved her beaming from behind, and Tony approaching after apologetically. I apologized to Amy for taking her from her conversation but she brushed it off. I introduced myself, telling her I’d been at the geek and sundry panel yesterday, that I was the one who showed her and other Amy my artwork for their show Vast. She asked if I could show her my twitter page, and as soon as I pulled it up, she gasped. Oh my gods, she gasped and said she knew me. She looked like she was fan-girling. She asked to give me a hug. I stuttered out an “Ok, of course,” hugged internet sensation Amy Dallen, and proceeded to not compute what had just happened. Amy Dallen had fan-girled over me. Like...I still can’t comprehend.

So...that was Saturday. I talked with a ton of people I have been admiring for ages, got lots of love from the critter community, felt proud and confident in my costume, hung out with the amazing dudes that make up The Search Party (who I miss dearly), found my girlfriend’s wallet and glasses, and danced the night away at the geekiest of geek parties. Despite the several hang ups, it was the best day I’ve ever had. I’m glad I get to share it with you guys, and if you’ve made it all the way through this, I congratulate thee. 

Sunday’s recounting is pretty short and won’t have very many pictures, if any at all, but I’ll still have a separate post for it. See ya’ll tomorrow!

[mugler88]

Every Single Rupauls Drag Race Queen Ranked from 1 to 100 by David Mason You will notice as thece list goes it runs from HARSH to KIND being that we go from people who are wasting our time and perhaps not living an honest fantasy but trying to be something they FEEL they're SUPPOSED to be and talented artists who capture us as they reveal beautifully honest selves which bloom from their unconscious. The Top 25 are ICONIC GOLD and are identities who hold their own amongst all the queens. They are APEX PREDATORS and each could arguably be made number one depending on each persons values. This is MY list and therefore it reflects my values and needs. 100. Phi Phi O’Hara Shes actually the worst for being a horrible person who cant figure out why shes terrible and thats the worst part. I actually BOOED her in public when I saw her. Is it wrong to not like someone just because they were born??? I think it probably is BUT I dont like Phi-Phi because when they showed her mom her mom was like 26 and I just thought YUCK, unplanned pregnancy is just TACKY and I wouldnt have to deal with you if your mom just had the balls to own her own body and be responsible and kind to the Earth and abort you but apparently the apple doesnt fall far from the (say this in Goldie Hawn from Overboard voice) “short, fat, slut" and you come from a long line of short selfish inconsiderate people. Phi-phi is the best case as to why Planned Parenthood should be next to every McDonalds. 99. Kenya Michaels : Oh god Im disturbed by her. She was like that little doll from Trilogy of terror. I found her strong sexual identity so uncomfortable as it was just too obviously a defense mechanism from being a tiny rapeable person from a third world territory. Thats AWFUL to say but Im sorry its just what I saw. I didnt find it funny or sexy. I found it awful and cringy. Its NOT a reason to not like a person but it is a reason as to why I dont want to see her on my tv bending over and WAGGING HER TWAT at me. I dont want to celebrate her complex attempt at molestation management, Im sorry. Lets hope this is me just projecting. I know this is too much for the SECOND entry but Im just saying what I felt. I wish shed read a book instead of just GOING WITH THE SEX THING. 98. Kandy Ho: What gross name, what a skank not even a good skank like Samantha Fox, just a shitty skank. 97. Phoenix: Who? I really have to speed through this list I have to go to the gym. 96. Madame LaQueer: Id put her at 99 but I feel bad for her. Im a nice person. 95. Alisa Summers: i have no idea who this person is 94. Penny Tration: Oh fuck you for that stupid name. Get the fuck outta here. 93.Vivienne Pinay: Why did she think she was pretty or passable or fishy or WHAT? All I saw was “Hi, Can I get the lunch special? I’ll have tai Iced tea with Rad Prik Chicken and coconut soup. Thank you.” 92. Venus D-Lite: Venus is who I think of when I think of queens that dont matter. I didnt even say that to be mean. She just is. 91. Jaidynn Diore Fierce: ??? oh she was the one I think should be named PEANUT. 90. Naysha Lopez: What plane of consciousness thought this person needed to be seen? 89. Sasha Belle: Awkward entry! Rip off Mugler Chimera dress. HERES A TIP PEOPLE, dont try and copy the most amazing well made dress in the world that cost 300k to make and 900 years of 900 year old Parisian couturiers to make. I PROMISE YOUR VERSION WONT BE AS GOOD. If youre going to copy something also make sure said reference has a TEENSY bit of wiggly room for either styling OR improvement. The Mugler Chimeira dress does NOT. Stop looking at it, you cant have it. 88. Akashia: Maybe the first person to fall on the runway??? I dont know? I dont remember her exactly 87. Rebecca Glasscock: I went shopping with Ru once at Saks and a sales girl came up and said “Rebecca works here now!” Ru went from Cafe au lait to FISHBELLY faster than she could mutter... “Rebecca is here?…....now?” thank god the girl was like “Not today”… Cocoa pallor regenerated, shopping recommenced. Rebecca must have been INSANE. 86. Honey Mahogany: Who and Why and whatever…. 85. Derrick Barry: Nope. 84. Robbie Turner: I wish you were Tina Turner 83.Cynthia Lee Fontaine:The cowboy look was like a THANKSGIVING revelation that GRANPA IS A CROSS DRESSER?!?! 82. Darienne Lake: Dip into the cool water of Darienne Lake was the best thing about her and that was Rus doing so.. BYE and shes from like Rochester or some shit. YUCK mid/western New York is SKANK. 81. Ginger Minj: Just everything I don't appreciate. 80. BeBe Zahara Benet: She won season one and I think the prize was 10k and it shoulda gone to Nina. 79. Bob the Drag Queen: After the extraordinarily beautiful Violet won. The audience of sheep were put off by their inability to relate to her because they just arent as good as her so the next season they wrote the season about having a “peoples princess” win and that why we have SHITTY BOB the person who shouldnt have ever been invited. Whats WORSE and MORE ANNOYING is the LATENT worship of Violet after they realized JUST HOW GOOD SHE WAS ONCE THEY SAW BOB and Im sitting here with my fists clenched screaming YOU IDIOTS THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT?!?!?! Bobs season was the worst. 78. Delta Work: Shes the drag queens drag queen. Shes too bitter for tv though. Same reason as to why Jackie Beat isnt on tv, too sour for tv, but thats ok. There is certainly somethig to have the cache of being the type of queen you have to go out to see. When she botched the comedy challenge I felt for her. I could really relate. She has the comic ability and you could just hear the inner dialogue of self sabotage running in her mind. It sucked. Thats one of my challenges too. 77. Thorgy Thor: Funny smart queen that I like. Tv isnt a format that suits her. 76. Sahara Davenport : A sweet soul. 75. Yara Sofia: Ick… The best example of LEARN TO EDIT. Her styling is THE GOOP SHOW. You know how some people just have BAD VIBES? I just dont want her around me. I dont see her vibes swirling in a direction I wanna head towards. I kinda hate dreads, Id lie and not say it to sound cool but there just unsavory to me. Patchouli.. thats what I smell when I see them in my minds eye.They just make me ask.. Why do you deliberately choose to be kinda not so clean? Its some romantic notion I don't prescribe too. Im not earthy in that way. Im Earthy in a watermelons are fierce kinda way. 74. Kelly Mantle: This person is not Christine Baranski! Why are you telling me youre related to a baseball player like Im supposed to care? 73. Magnolia Crawford: ahahahahahahahahahah... that poor homosexual. He MIGHT be more disliked than phi-phi. THAT NOSE gets points.. it HAD to be a critique on nose contour right?! Does anyone ACTUALLY know her?! I feel like this might be some weird dare that a straight guy did and made it on the show. It was all so WEIRD?! 72. Jade. I really dont remember a damn thing but kinda thought she was a nice person maybe??? errr ummmm I just shrugged my shoulders to myself. 71. Lanaysha Sparks: She was quite lovely and even surprisingly talented on the craft contest but not knowing who Diana Ross is and your a drag queen is SATANISM. Poor bitch is from Puerto Rico, do you now Puerto Rico is twice as poor as the poorest state? That sucks. 70.Laila McQueen: Is this an OSBORNE CHILD?? Had she been on previous seasons she would have faired better. Seemed like a kid Id hire as an intern and could trust. 69. Serena ChaCha Oh my god Serena snook right by me?!?! AHAHAHAHAH Serena! Worst look of ALL TIME. how was SHE an art school student?! I cringed when she said that as Im an art school kiid and was like NO NO NOPE TAKE IT BACK CLOSE YOUR MOUTH! Serena was the victim of QUEEN ON QUEEN GANG BULLYING and what was worse is AMERICA BACKED THE GANG RAPE. It was like that scene in The Dark Crystal when the Skeksi looses the sword challenge and they all tear the clothes of him and banish him! Alyssa WENT IN on her….Coco even got a piece of Serena that day! Serena is lucky to be alive. 68. Jasmine Masters: Im disturbed by my own ability to impersonate Jasmine Masters. Its not THAT GOOD but its better than a 225lb Pollock should be able to do. Her Slinky worm routine makes me GIGGLE. She is ANGRY…...BLACK RAGE which I kinda appreciate in a way. I get it. I have gay rage so why cant she have BLACK RAGE?! 67. Tempest DuJour awww tempest.. We all like Tempest. Kinda funny shes a costume design teacher though no? She gave my husband a shirt and my husband wore it for her all day in Provincetown because my husband is like the sweetest person ever. I mean people were like “TEMPEST DU JOUR?!” they practically SPIT on him and he still wore it and he tagged her in the photo and she didnt even regram lolololol My poor husband, I love him so much. 66. The Princess: I made a comment about the Princess' look being shitty on Instagram once and all her fans went APESHIT. It was the two nastiest messages I ever deleted. 65. Monica Beverly Hillz I shoulda put her farther back. She was not so great. 64. Vivacious: Awwww the old battle axe of drag. I support her endaevor but her looks were so dated. I do however respect her respect for the art so… 63. Lashauwn Beyond: That name is so real. You can say she sucks but you can also say shes the spirit of drag taking you “up" so let her be. 62. Mrs. Kasha Davis: WOAH boy did she sneak by me?! She must have got here EARLY and just WAITED. She sucked so hard you kinda loved her for being honest. Kasha was like your olde gay neighbor whos taste level sucks but you respect her because she went through the AIDS crisis and is still smiling. Not even kidding. 61. BenDeLaCreme: I just did not like her. 60. Pandora Boxx: Oh god Pandora. Did you see that Unicorn video she made… bless this bitch. 59. Shangela Laquifa Wadley: Shangela was just cheap. Shangela is like the same taste level as like Paula Abdul, Mad Tv, Khols, a Sketchers Sneaker… I just never like what she does. I dont need it. Its poor person humor. Just because you say something LOUDLY doesnt make it more funny. ( as I type in CAPS) 58. Roxxxy Andrews: This poor bitch dug a damn hole… You know shes not likeable because she was shadey but she was more talented then anticipated in the creative challeges, and I thought she had nice skin. My husband HATES HER. 57. Kim Chi: One note. Refrigerator being pushed down a runway. I actually dont like her for not having the courage to be out to her parents. Its insulting to the rest of us. Buck up bitch, your mom already knows, shes known since you were 2. The fact you think she doesnt know is INSANE. Your non outness renders any talent moot. 56. Adore Delano: Thanks but Ive been to Hot Topic, NEXT. 55: Acid Betty: I don't remember much about the 00S BUT I STILL REMEMBER THOSE WIGS. 54. Courtney Act: Ok sure, but wheres the interesting part???? Her finale dress that was like rainbow hologram acetate was cool and nobody even mentioned it. 53. Trixie Mattel: I tried so hard to be nice to her in Provincetown and she was a cunt. Why are you a cunt to someone being NICE to you? 52. Coco Montrese : I could say mean shit but I wont. shes worked long and hard and deserves a clap. Shes not even a cunt. shes out of touch but shes from another world. Respect your elders. 51. Dida Ritz: Talk about out of touch. Her weird self loathing “Im a white girl” routine turned me into Jasmine Masters?! Like EWWW NO, learn to love yourself BITCH. We all know she did one of the best lip synchs ever. 50. Stacy Layne Matthews: Wait shes NOT black?!??? She was from BACK SWAMP, that gets TREMENDOUS "SWAMP CRED" She was so fat her hormones were just like "WHATEVER.. theres simply "NOT ENOUGH of us to go around?! WE DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO.. What do you wanna be today??? When was the last time youve seen your genitals because are you SURE youre still a male?? We dont know and could use some DIRECTION?!” and I appreciate that. I like people who are just like IM WHATEVER. Not everyone has to be a male or a female you know. 49. Jade Jolie: Jade is surprisingly the fishiest queen in my opinion. I saw her at the premiere party before her season started and we honestly thought she might be BIOLOGICAL. This holds some cache in an art of trying to be a woman at least SOMEWHAT. She made the unfortunate mistake of becoming Alyssas ENEMY which at the time was ACTUALLY kinda necessary because if you remember when Alyssa first started she was not the Alyssa we know and love and was kinda of a cunt who needed to get CLOCKED. BACK ROLLS has now been mutters a million times by ME ALONE and lets be honest WERE ALL now VERY CONSCIOUS of our back rolls now. I even got COOL SCULPTING and yes it worked. It works if youre like semi normal with a slight love handle or backroll but not if you have a spare tire because then its just like removing a brick from a wall, and no it didnt hurt, but get it done in Florida because procedures are cheaper there. Florida is basically LAWLESS, they also gave me a VITAMIN DRIP as I did it. That is not legal in NYC. Jade had horrible style and made what looked like NAZI MATRIX PORN but dont imagine that in a good sorta Night Porter chic Nazi way. Imagine it as a black vinyl raincoat that that greasy haired kid in high school who wasnt allowed to be a faggot because you already had that role and did it better so he sorta segued into FETISH GOTH would have and now imagine him filming himself masturbating with a NON APPLE iPhone to a Marilyn Mason poster… That was her porn. 48. Sonique: Sonique is responsible for one of the wisest self realizations to ever surface on RPDR to me. After getting the chop she said something along the lines of “Well I guess theres more to life than being better than everyone.” YUP. Stop competing, life isnt a competition. You do you and thats your challenge, forget about everyone elses storyline. 47. Mystique Summers Madison: DANGEROUS PERSON but such good TV. To me it seems Mystique has the kind of tongue that can only tell lies, which is sad because that means she thinks whatever the truth is is so terrible she has to come up with an alternative. Thats unfortunate. That said I dont want her in my home. If she lies to herself and others this means she feels she doesnt have to play by the rules and probably steals. Did I just imagine her a thief? Yes, I did. I imagined her at a party at my house slipping one of my Versace candy dishes in her pocket WITH THE SOUR PATCH KIDS STILL IN IT. 46. Gia Gunn: Gia to me really is the sorta line between the queens you care about and the queens you take the opportunity to go get a drink while they come on stage. I took my two assistants on that Drag Cruise as a present and I cant remember what exactly happened but somebodies sneakers were TEMPORARILY ABDUCTED and Gia was UNNFUCKED and SURLY ABOUT IT. Gia on the show was half gross and half awesome. I feel shed LIKE to be nice but has so much DEFENSIVE ANGER she can't. Its a mistake as shed be much more successful if she got over that. She really feels herself despite having a wonky eye, really short legs, and likening herself to Talapia and aligning herself to TIM GUNN??? Your fashion references are from TV????!… OH GURL… NO!.… I like her though. Shes a talented performer. I feel like Gia is that friend you have thats sorta like a bad dog on leash. You have to be careful with them when around kind people but theyre also helpful because theyre more than eager to be the bad guy if someone is bugging you. We all have that friend and theyre kinda fierce. 45. Mariah. Mariah walked into the room first episode and I thought DAMN shes FIERCE... and then she never looked that good again. If I was just going by tv, which Im 98% going by shed be placed lower BUT I saw her on that drag cruise and her performance was PERFECT. It was CLASSIC DRAG but executed flawlessly and she was nice when we got stuck in the elevator with her. I feel like she thinks she has to be mean or fierce or whatever when shed actually be more well received if she was the person I saw on the cruise who was down to Earth and chill. 44. Milan: Milan is one of the few New York Queens that Ive ACTUALLY SEEN OUT. These other queens im always like NEW YORK? NEW YORK WHERE?!? Im a third generation new Yorker who has lived here 18 years on my own and Ive never seen most of these queens who claim to be from NYC. Milan is nice and a talented performer. I was never into her drag because shes real STAGE oriented and real JULIARD STYLE ( I dunno if she actually went there) and thats just not my interest but she at least TRIED. 43. Dax ExclamationPoint: I feel Dax sorta made a mistake pigeon holing herself as “Queen of the nerds”, as soon as someone claims identity of something on camera queens for some reason HATE IT. I imagine its some kind of projected self loathing as gays are trained to hate themselves. Like how dare YOU assert yourself as something, you CANT do that youre a faggot. I seriously think this is the unconscious voice in 98 percent of gay guys heads and its why so many are self sabotaging or drug addicts and why there is no such thing as a gay gay icon and even kinda why DRAG EXISTS AT ALL. We cant like ourselves because straight society taught us to hate ourselves so we put it all onto a fantastic woman. Dax seems like a nice person who doesnt have that insane person need to “win” and therefore really shouldnt have been on the show as she just got used as sacrifice for hungrier queens. 42. Kennedy Davenport: Wait did I already do Kennedy Davenport because I really didnt like her??? huh I guess I didnt. Well maybe my unconscious mind liked her more than my reptile ego did and she got placed higher than anticipated. How can you hate on a hard working talent who has a retarded sister she has to support?! Jesus christ give the bitch a tip and never do less than a FIVE when tipping queens people A DOLLAR IS THE SAME THING AS A QUARTER! 41. India Ferrah: Oh god I worry saying mean things about India because I dont want to hurt her feelings as worry that she TEETERS ON SANITY but she to me is what drag is WHEN I DONT LIKE DRAG. Her “combat contour” is brutalist to the point of being vulgar. To me her styling concept is PUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON NOW BECAUSE MAYBE WE NEED TO RUN OUT THE DOOR AFTERWARD. I mean its the 8 foot braid with a giant bow, and the top hat, and the body stocking, and the thigh high boot, and the breast plate, now a giant necklace to cover the edge of the fake boobs, now put a spider SUCKLING THE TIT of the breastplate, oh wait I have TWO BOOBS and I NEED ANOTHER SPIDER, now add a couple jewels to the eyes of the spider OH WAIT spiders have six eyes so add four more… now what about belts, I only have TWELVE…. 40. Mimi Imfurst: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! She fucking CAPTURED India ferrah like some kind of MOUNTAIN TROLL?!?!? That was one of the most amazingly insane moments on TV ever! Then when Raven WENT IN on her in All Stars …omg I have that segment saved on my phone and just watch it when I need to feel “myself” again. Mimi on the cruise actually did the best read on the Michelle Visage roast. Shes smart but lets her inner voices get the best of her. We all have inner voices but I feel chubby people are chubby because the voices are louder. Im not even saying it to be a dick but it seems like with people who suffer from body issues LIKE ME the inner voices are so LOUD you can see them reacting to them on their face. Hang around me long enough and you'll totally see this. This is called being a function insane person! 39. Morgan McMichaels: Ahhh the Morgan McMonkey! Did you know shes actually Scottish, like from Scotland? That didnt come off on the show. Ok Morgan to me is interesting because as a person Morgan is just not my kinda person, she even has a SUPERMAN TATTOO and you know how much I hate Superman as to me he is the OPPOSITE OF CREATIVITY and a HERO TO SHEEP but that does NOT discount her talents. Ive seen her perform live and shes VERY good. Do I want to hang with her NO, is she a solid talent YES. I met her once and she tried to tell me she doesnt eat pork because PIGS DONT HAVE KIDNEYS. She said this while chain smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily… hmmmm. I dont even know how to organize the judgements I have. All this said I feel if Morgan was your friend you could trust her and shed definitely not be afraid of taking a hit to defend you. 38. April Carrion: She is the best example of being chopped too soon. Shes very talented and pretty and makes her own looks and I respect her abilities. She had more to offer as Ive seen other looks of hers and they were good. Too much of a shrinking violet to survive a comepetition. Shes quite lovely Im surprised she hasnt got some rich old benefactor. 37. Nicole Paige Brooks Oh my fuckin god Nicole Paige Brooks?!?!? Nicole is so important as she is SO MANY THINGS. Nicole is the ESSENCE OF REGIONAL TALENT. She is THE small town coke head faggot drag queen WE ALL KNOW. My mom would have had her on PROBATION. The spirit that has possessed Nicoles body is an ancient spirit which haunts every rural gay bar! Remember how she had the hots for Raven and also had FRECH TIP TOENAILS?!…That BODY built EXCLUSIVELY by COCAINE. Ugh.. Ive never even seen Nicole but I know her sooo well. Nicole has that IVE BEEN TO PRISON and ALSO HAVE CHILDREN and ALSO HAVE A CLOSETED BLACK BOYFRIEND vibe that is SO PURE. Nicole is the queen who marches in the regional gay pride parade wearing flat sandals and a bikini and ACCEPTS TIPS while she does it! Nicole might also work at BEST BUY when “O.D” (out of drag). and when in drag theres also the worry that she might ACTUALLY O.D. Nicole is important. 36. Carmen Carrera: Ok Carmen is from Jersey where its NOT EASY to be a gay soul. Carmen once tried to tell me its ok that straight guys call you a faggot there because its not an isult its just what you are… EEEESSSSHKKK That is some HARDCORE Stockholm Syndrome. I could say more but its none of my damn business. Im not crazy about Carmen because I think shes made some choices based on where shes from but thats none of my damn business so I’ll shut the fuck up. To me Carmen is an example of an unfortunate situation. Ive had to deal with those hardened Jersey boys as a kid and as a tender gay boy its NOT A NICE THING and it would have been easier for me if I was just a girl too. Yes shes pretty, I wish her happiness. If I was raised where she was maybe I would have killed myself. In a way she sorta did I guess but also rebirthed herself.. maybe I need to give her more credit. Im going to add this. Most of us have to deal with being a "faggot" in a straight world and deal with it however we choose. I for example fetishisize it as for me its a safe place thats at least exciting as its FIERCE to have your hot husband call you a faggot as he bangs your puss hole out. At least that way youre dealing with the anxiety in a safe place and its HOT its also a lot easier than getting a sex change, pretending it never happened, and siding with your abusers in an effort to make the best of a bad situation. Maybe Ive made the wrong choice, see instead of siding with them and changing my sex I went punk and just write horrible things about them on St Patricks day and work out a lot so I can intimidate them on the street. SIDENOTE I have NEVER had someone make an anti gay comment to me when they're by themselves, have you ever noticed that? The comments are only made when youre out numbered... fuckin pussies. 35. Jiggly Caliente: Jiggly is real. 34. Victoria "Porkchop” Parker: Porkchop must be worshipped as she was sacrificed for all our sins. 32. Ivy Winters: Nobody ever put it together that Ivy Winters looks almost identical to Grace Jones AND Jean Kasem. That is POWERFUL MAGIC. Too bad she didnt know it either because if she channeled that spirit she could have won this thing so damn easy. 31. Pearl: 31. Tatiana: The day Tati steps away from low brow nineties references and learns to kick is the day Tati advances much farther. She NEVER uses her legs and her legs are AMAZING?! I wish she woulda had the self confidence to get tougher on Raven when Raven attacked her on her season because it was so clear that Raven was operating out of total jealousy being both have great beauty but for Tati it was effortless and for Raven its four hours of incredibly skilled painting. Tati was too green to have that wisdom. If she had it…ooooohhhhh it woulda been FUHEEEEIRCE! 30. Laganja Estranja: Oh god… I dont have the mental capacity at this point to go into the psyche of Laganja…Laganja is so important. Laganja is the litmus for bad faggotry because shes ACTUALLY TALENTED, shes got an amazing body, but OH GOD shes a nightmare. You can tell her parents felt guilty and coddled and spoiled their baby gay into a place where the only way she now knows how to operate is to be a needy indulged victim. Her comedy routine with the old people was a SURREALIST MASTER PIECE. Get off drugs laganja, they dont make you cool and needing the crutch of a vice does not a personality make. 29: Jinkx Monsoon: Does anyone else remember how bad she was at the beginning of her season??? She got the ONLY edit and they spun her into a storyline where theres was no way she could loose. Ive seen this storyline somewhere and it was called PRETTY IN PINK. They basically realized she both Molly Ringwalds character AND the Ducky character at the same time and spun a storyline for her to win because they hadnt a queen like her yet. She is talented, not my kinda talent but whatevs, to me shes the MACARONI ART of drag. She woulda been my friend first year of art school but then you have to change schools because you find out she has a crush thats a touch much on you and its weird because you thought you were just good friends. 28. Tyra Sanchez: In person I think Tyra might be the most beautiful of all the queens actually. You won't believe this but its true, she's a stunner. Too bad she just wants to be the best Beyonce, and not the best Tyra. Tyra, you be TYRA because Trinity K already does a waaaaaaaaay better Beyonce to be honest and youre actually so good on your own if you just owned YOURSELF youd be extraordinary. Its a shame she doesnt have the insight or desire to be HERSELF. Isnt that INSANE??? Its why nobody likes her, because SHE doesnt like her?! 27. Alexis Mateo: When you read her name do you also read it with a lisp? I do! Alexis is a sweet person whom I really appreciate and is also a victim of the pageant system. Pageant girls suffer from not fully grasping why the pageant system is bad. Ladies, we dont think YOU are bad, we think youre victims of a horrible oppressive system that wishes to put women into a structure of something like a DOG show. THIS IS DEGRADING NOT ONLY TO YOU BUT TO ALL FEMALES. It attempts to organize the female sex into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL based on the values of MEN and thats FUCKED UP. To organize females into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL is HORRIBLE and ROTTEN. It DEVALUES any ability that men might see as something THEY have to deal with and DENIES ABILITIES and STRENGTH to women creating an oppressive structure for females to operate in. Its GROSS, dont buy into it, its not cool! 26. Shannel: I know you dont agree but Shannel is important. Shannel wears VON DUTCH HATS. Shannels best friend is the WHISPERING FACE in the mirror that tells her to believe insane things. Shannel has THE BEST EYES of all contestants. Shannel belongs to a mentally ill race of people known as SHOW FOLK. Shannel thought JUGGLING while walking down the runway would be IMPRESSIVE. Shannel paid FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for that garment and Shannel paid TOO MUCH. Shannel WAS NOT ELIMINATED... SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE!….. Shannel is important. OK the TOP TWENTY FIVE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. These are the APEX PREDATORS!!! Have you noticed as the list has gone on the comments have gone from VENOMOUS and PUNISHING to RESPECTFUL ACCOLADE and thats because as the list goes the talent increases and Im grateful that these people are inspiring, not wasting my time, and are championing values that need to be championed! When I typed this I just got so excited I moved my ENTIRE BODY on top of my little clear desk chair and Im sitting here typing like a GARGOYLE! Every single one of these queens are a WINNER and I mean that. Im not just saying this shit, each one of these queens is a SOLID ARCHETYPE and depending on your own values you could place most of them in the top five and have a SOLID ARGUMENT. This list however is MY opinion and MY VALUES so this is much more about ME than THEM of course. Honestly every single queen on this entire list is a talent and deserves respect for making the effort!... yes even Phi-phi. To be in the top twenty five however means you can STAND YOUR GROUND AND OWN YOUR OWN CROWN. Remember this is MY list. Youll understand reading this list I value creativity and HEIGHT more than anything. Being fishy doesnt count for much to me and if youre dumb and dishonest it aint gonna work out…. Here are THE MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS OF RUPAULS DRAG RACE!!! 25. Jessica Wild: AHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAH How the FUCK did Jessica Wild make the top list?! FUCK YES MISS JESSICA you MADE IT!! Ahahah this is WONDERFUl. I secretly admit I LOVE Jessica. Ill go so far to say shes almost like a KINDER EN ESPAñOL version of Alyssa! Jessica live is FUN and shes VERY KIND. I met her and she was a doll. Jessica is GOOD VIBES. I can totally hang with Jessy. Is she creative? NOPE. Is she Edgy? NOPE. Is she fierce… actually she kinda is???!. Shes a good person who you can tell HONESTLY LOVES DRAG and has fun doing it and THAT is why she made top 25! Shes a pure soul who enjoys what she does and that its the SPIRIT and HONESTY rarely found on EARTH! 24. Max: Max CLEARLY is really into Kristen Mcnemany. Max served us upper middle class white privilege. She was NOT bound by the oppressive low class moral standards of gender and sexuality! Max allowed herself to be flat chested and have GREY hair and this says IM WEALTHY AND EDUCATED ENOUGH NOT TO HAVE TO PLAY BY A MANS RULES AND BE A BIMBO YOU POOR PEOPLE?! Max was well read and Max is probably the most well travelled person in the semi mid west sorta shitty small to medium sized city in which I imagine she is from NEXT TO HER SISTER that was in THE PEACE CORPS (I imagine). I bet Max went to a college that was previously ONLY FOR GIRLS. Off the show Max really gave some fantastic editorial moments. I appreciated Max, she was refreshing. 23. Naomi Smalls: The Praying Mantis of drag! Naomis skeleton is the best of all the girls and thats why shes here. TALL and THIN is SO IMPORTANT. She actually was a nice person and very creative too. I don't like how people discounted her, she was far more creative than most of these people. 22. Milk: Milk is kinda like Max but not as annoying as a person and more “boy aware". Like I imagine sitting on train with Max might be tedious as her affectations are what got her chopped, and Milk though shes a touch WASPY for my tastes is actually cool and smart and you could share and laugh with her. Milk was MY club name in the 90s so thats interesting as were both tall white people I guess that name just gets handed to you. Milk is sorta the Sandra Bernhardt of RPDR to me but maybe its just the STRONG NOSE. I liked Milks Pinnochio A LOT but if I remember correctly she used the same wig or a pair of shoes a few times and that DOES get a deduction. She was REAL "I have a mom who went to college and shes tall and for my birthday she bought me an AFGHAN (the dog)." . SMART WHITE PEOPLE LIFE… basically everyone I went to college with. 21. Joslyn Fox: Jossy Fox is not trying to be anything she isnt and that is her refreshing appeal. Jossy shops at Tj Maxx and has lunch at Panera because she used to work there and still gets a discount because her fag hag never left despite making a lot of lateral moves that took her nowhere. If I had kids Id hire Jossy to babysit them. Jossy asked to have my husband visit her at her dining table on the drag cruise, BUT NOT ME. 20. Willam: I really should have put Willam at a higher ranking place simply because shes a class act and one of the only queens whos never asked for a discount and buys my clothes. She is the one queen who decided to play by her own rules which sorta bit her in the ass ALMOST, but shes also one of the only queens who has her own career outside of RPDR. I like Willam, shes distant and calculating, but so am I. 19. Ongina: Ongina is important because shes the first one to show that to be successful on the show its not about your elaborately constructed artifice that you might THINK is what makes people like you, but about the REAL YOU you fear to show others that is what makes people like you and this TEENY BEING had the balls to do it. Ongina is all about the live performance as shes a total charmer. She can dance in the palm of your hand and sleeps in a walnut shell at night. Her charm is her human connection that you dont get from most performers and you can't really get from TV. 18. Manila Luzon: Manilla gives the best costumes in drag styling. Her puppet faces are great, but ONE TIME USE, so shes a little for the kiddies and straight people who only see her once and dont follow drag so thats why she isnt higher for me. Remember if youre top 25 youre iconic! Im just organizing MY VALUES here so its not about these queens abilities but more about MY PERSONAL AGENDA and how I would ORGANIZE WORLD VALUES should I be given the chance…. (echoing Skeletor laugh) 17. Latrice Royale: Latrice is the spirit of America. If you dont like Latrice YOU ARE ISIS. Watch her performance at the season finale where Violet wins, its sooo darn good. Id love to put her farther up but I cant because she only wears THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES with every look. Lady… lay out some coins stop “living poor”. The moment you spend the dough to move yourself forward YOU ACTUALLY MOVE FORWARD. Stop living in a world where you cant afford shoes, break out of that mindset where youre worried to spend a little cash because you might not have it. LIVE RICHLY…YOU CAN AFFORD SHOES. That said remember CREDIT IS NOT CASH BITCH, do NOT use a credit card pretend you have the fantasy of the security of wealth, but I KNOW you at least have 49.99 for a plus size pair of PLEASERS! 16. Katya. The first time I saw Katya I thought TOTAL FORMER COKE HEAD... and I was right. Thats not a read its just the vibes. I think shes very smart and funny and her finale “read ya” was the best of al of them BUT she got a TOTAL SWEETHEART EDIT BECAUSE ALASKA WAS SLAUGHTERING EVERYONE so they needed to make it seem at least a LITTLE like a competition (though detox was like on another level) but I REALLY dont like that FORCED self deprecation and FAKE NICE LAUGH she gives people ESPECIALLY Trixie.. Stop GIFTING her that reaction, we all see right through it! It comes off like less of a laugh and more of an APOLOGY for existing and you dont need to do it youre fierce, just stop. Before you get too big a head though I have to be a good person and let you know your finale look on All Stars was the THIRD worst look ever to go down the runway behind Serena and Cynthia. Don't believe me???.. check out the hemline. 15 Jujubee: Out of all the queens I think if I had to spend an extended period of time with them Id choose Juju. Shes smart and funny and hopefully that would give me the opportunity to teach her about STYLING because she needs some help. Damn your looks are CHEAP woman. They sell Vogue at the GROCERY STORE!? Im not even asking for the far superior Italian Vogue, Im just saying SHITTY COMMERCIAL GROCERY STORE FASHION MAGAZINE VOGUE. Pick it up and then look at your clothes and figure out the difference. I actually think Juju might be the funniest queen even over Bianca. Shes certainly one of the smartest, and dont forget her library reading was really good. 14. Trinity K. Bonet: I imagine youre suprised at Trinity ranking so high up. Trinity is something I respect.. QUIET CONFIDENCE. Trinity was too damn well mannered to get as far as she should have in the competition and the reason why is Trinity K is the personality type I really respect who is someone who is QUIET and TALENTED. She lets her talents do the talking and unfortunately for good tv you cant just sit there and wait to slay on the runway, you have to have provide soundbytes and dramtic facial gestures for gifs etc. Trinity respectfully minded her own damn business and let her abilities do the talking and I REALLY like that. I went on that nightmarish drag cruise and hands down the best performance was Trinity it was about a ten minute Beyonce number and it was BETTER than Beyonce. It was FANTASTIC and im not even a Beyonce fan. I also think shes very beautiful and has a total Angela Basset quality to her which Im charmed by. Trinity was well mannered and polite and I kinda wanted to be her friend because someone like that benefits from someone like me who isnt afraid to maybe NOT be so polite should the rare occasion call for it. I guess Bianca kinda saw that too. I kinda think for some weird reason Im sweet on her because Tina Turner was my first concert at 8 years old, which I won the tickets to answering Tina Turner Triva on the radio, and that remeinds me of my mom who I went to the concert with and so therefor I want to protect this “good woman”. 13. Nina Flowers: Speaking of good women the next is Nina Flowers. I have NEVER heard ONE person say ONE bad thing about Nina and the multiple times Ive met her she is KIND AND LOVELY. Nina endured that entire CONFLAMA of SEASON 1 and DIDNT EVEN GET THE PALTRY 10k she deserved?! THEN Nina got CURSED with being paired with RAVING MAD WOMAN TAMMIE BROWN and ROLLED WITH IT without complaint. In fact if you watch All Stars 1 instead of complaining Nina handles her like a loving mother who has a RETARDED CHILD who YELLS A LOT. Speaking of YELLING RETARDED PEOPLE one time my husband and I were in Miami and we bought BAD PILLS (is there any other kind in Miami) and were TWACKED OUT ASSHOLES and ran into her and we COULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP and she was SO TOLERANT, AND SO NICE, AND SO UNBOTHERED that we almost wondered if we PASSED FOR SANE. Looking back WE DID NOT, Nina was just really nice. Nina is also a great Dj who really gets that CUNT FACTOR and makes for a great night out. 12 Miss Fame: Drag being an art form that relies so heavily on the magic of transformation being the best make up artist of all the queens certainly gets you TOP THREE placement. Too bad Miss Fame is the SECOND BEST MAKE UP ARTIST of Rupauls drag race. If this was a BIOLOGICAL female make-up challenge Fame would be the best, but DRAG MAKE UP is a VERY different art form. Fame had fantastic looks and a greatly appreciate her. I just wish the brains matched the visuals because theyre SO sharp. She really is the Linda of RPDR. Linda was my SECOND choice of the Supermodels, my first was Nadja so you can see where Im coming from. To me alien proportions and snowgress fantasies trump “classic fashion perfection”. 11. Chi Chi DeVayne : Chi Chi Devayne is THE SPIRIT OF DRAG. Chi chi is POOR AS FUCK and still managed to teach herself how to do BACKFLIPS IN HEELS. THERE IS NO REASON FOR ALL OF US NOT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME BUT WE CANNOT! She is THE DRAG ASSASSIN. I respect her SO much. Imagine if she was given the same opportunities any of us in the North East of the United States were given?! When I was a little kid I wasnt rich either but I feel in North Eastern America you can receive a great education and you dont have to be wealthy at all. A good education is just kind of built into the psyche just like our PURITANICAL JUDGEMENT. I mean as a kid I grew up in a tiny single parent home next to a pond and it certainly wasnt GLAMOROUS but if I felt like it my 8 year old self could wander over to the neighbors house which was basically THE ADDAMS FAMILY MANSION to me which belonged to the professor who established the local community college and Id just sit there in his living room while he and his wife watched JULIA CHILD Id point at the random objects hed collected from around the world and ask “Whats that?!” and hed reply “That is a TURKISH BULLWHIP!” FIERCE?! ..with that information alone not only did I learn of exotic locations I never heard of I knew I TOO wanted to go there AND had the ability too. Something tells me being from Louisianna Chi Chi didnt have the opportunity to learn how to cook LONDON BROIL (I still remember Julia saying “Ooh this roast is SPITTING at me) while sitting in the dark at a baby grand piano while a Grandfather clock gonged in the background like these people did. It would be VERY EASY to be an angry bitter person coming from her situation and instead Chi Chi took it upon herself to excel to the best of her abilities and BOY HAS SHE. I feel Chi Chi was THE BEST when it came to Lipsynch for your life. All she needs is 12 months, a handful of those McDonalds gift certificates you got at Halloween, a stack of VHS tapes of STYLE with ELSA KLENSCH, 6 National Geographic magazines, and everyone dies. Chi Chi is FIERCE. 10 Chad Michaels: Being the number one Cher impersonator in the world gets you top ten placement forever. Its not debatable its DRAG LAW. 9.Tammie Brown: Tammie Brown is an UNCONTROLLABLE FORCE OF NATURE. Tammy is the SWIRLING POWER OF CHAOS. GRAVITY DECIDES TO LEAVE WHEN TAMMIE IS AROUND! Tammies superpower is that she holds no power unto her own but EVERYONE ELSES POWERS ARE RENDERED USELESS WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE ROOM. NO QUEEN has any power over Tammie and for THAT ALONE she gets top ten placement. Have you ever seen those crazy cat videos of cats reacting to people who throw a cucumber on the ground? If you havent, check them out, but in a nut shell cats are for some reason TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by a cucumber sitting on the ground. They go from acting relatively sane to COMPLETELY BIZARRE at the toss of a cucumber... well TAMMY IS THAT CUCUMBER. 8. Bianca Del Rio: Bianca is a hard working professional and a talent and Im glad we have her on “our” side as I cant think of any straight comedian who could beat her in a "read off". She doesnt particularly check any of my boxes as what she is Im not super into but you cant deny her abilities. Shes the sharpest tack. My friend Bradford hired her for a dinner and it was fine and fun and all and as she was walking out the door my NUMB NUT husband brings up “but what about the movie youre making?” this of course lead her to go on about how shes raising money etc so then BRADFORD THE ASSHOLE makes everyone say how much theyre going to donate to her film putting me on the spot to donate 500 dollars to the fucking crappy movie?! It was well shot but UGH LADY wheres the funny? I paid FIVE HUNDRED GOD DAMN DOLLARS FOR THAT MOVIE?!?! FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS….. FUCK.... thats TWO tickets to see CHER?!?!?!? 7.Sharon Needles: When Sharon first came out I BOUGHT IT, literally, I bought the t shirt which was secrelty packed as a GLITTER BOMB.. FUCKING CUNT…She really gave us hope and spoke to so many and was a creative and funny star. Shes a great talent who has done some amazing looks. Unfortunately shes become super sour and nasty and nobody wants to work with her and former fans are made uncomfortable to be around her. Sharon Needles is THE BEST DRAG QUEEN nobody wants to be around. 6. Violet Chachki: Im pretty sure Violet was trained by a SITH LORD or something. Shes CURIOUSLY YOUNG to be so professional and SO on point and just soooo good. God I hated the idiot RPDR fan base who talked shit about her simply because they couldnt relate to her because she was confident in her abilities. A wolf does NOT consult the sheep as to what to have for dinner!?! Im sorry but thats NOT something to make apologies for and its CERTAINLY not something you need to change. Nobody should have to dumb themselves down for the masses and Violet has not. She consistently DOMINATES THEM with her BITCH GODDESS self and Im SOOOO THANKFUL FOR THAT. This icy goddess holds the title for the number one AND number two AND number three best gowns on RPDR history. Dont go against Violet you WILL loose. 5. Alaska: Alaska broke all the rules by being HER OWN CREATURE. You cant pin down Alaska as one specific thing. Shes is an entity unto her own and that is so important to recognize. Shes also maybe the smartest queen of all of them. Her drag is a critique of drag itself which makes her a more evolved creature compared to “lesser” queens. Like all these top five shes really carved out PERSONALITY in her drag persona. Shes maybe made me laugh more than any other queen.The only “negative” I can think of is I dont like her interest in nails, seems like something India Ferra would be into. Its sorta weird that she named herself Alaska when the biggest gay icon in Spain and many other Spanish speaking nations is Alaska but shes from Pittsburg, not Madrid. 4. Alyssa Edwards: Oh fuck is Alyssa Edwards important! The DON KNOTSS of Drag Alyssa is sorta just like Texas from which she hails… BIG AND WEIRD THINKING AND despite being the essence of AMERICA its also ITS OWN ENTITY and by its own design is flawless and also VERY FLAWED! Remember when ALyssa first started and she was mean and people did not like her?! This is important to recognize because Alyssa HOOKED US with a very special chemistry of herself as a real person and this SWIRLY KOOKOO TOWN that her psyche exists in where shes the MAYOR, THE RICHEST LADY, THE NOSEY NEIGHBOR, AND THE BEAUTY QUEEN! Shes all those things and we get to see them all exist in every gesture. The gif of her negotiating a sip on an extra long straw was just as responsible for us falling in love with her as was her UNSELFAWARNESS (is that a word?) upon the HARD REVEAL of her BACKROLLS. Those lips and eyes are insanely MAGNETIC but all of it would be only half as magnetic if we didnt know what a LOOSEY GOOSEY she is?! You KNOW that Alyssa PERFORMS FOR NOBODY when shes by herself…. OFTEN. Alyssa I think is the only queen Ive ever hired and she got out of a cab by herself in FULL DRAG wearing like a TEDDY and a SHEER DRESSING GOWN and walked down the street in broad daylight asking my assistant if the MEXICAN RESTAURANT ON THE CORNER was where she was PERFORMING?!?! Alyssas personal styling is: “Dress, not particularly expensive shoe, AND PIECE OF THING ON HER HEAD- but NOT a complete thing on her head just a PART of something on her head! Its the VAGUE ALLUSION that this is part of MAYBE SOMETHING GREATER, or maybe shes been to SPAIN, or maybe she shoplifts at CLAIRES BOUTIQUE?! Alyssa is an America treasure! 3. Raven: Raven is JEALOUS BEAUTY. RAVEN IS EVERY FIERCE VILLAINESS THAT EVER EXISTED. Raven VERY EASILY could be my number one BUT IM LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF and Im not going to SIT HERE and WAIT to be loved by someone I adore as they DENY MY EXISTENCE simply because THEY THEMSELVES are incapable of being loved. I already DID THAT SHOW its called ME AND MY DAD and thanks but over a lifetime as a child I sat there on the couch waiting for him to show up, which he often DID NOT, as I hoped that MAGICALLY ONE DAY this person you adore is suddenly going to take interest in you. GUESS WHAT… IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I might love Raven but RAVEN CANT LOVE BACK and instead of being MAD (like I was for a lifetime with my own dad) Im going to recognize that I dont hate this person at all, in fact this VILLAIN is a HERO to me and though I wish theyd be capable of liking me back theyre NOT and THATS OK. Im not the bad guy for that, and neither is Raven, and neither is my dad. Its something they cant do and MAYBE someday they will and if so THATS GREAT but until then Im gonna love myself and put interest in people who reciprocate my feelings.This all may sound like I had some kind of ACTUAL relationsship with Raven WHICH I HAVE NOT but Ravens entire DRAG CONCEPT HER VERY DRAG BEING is that story line to me. The even more twisted part is we love Raven BECAUSE shes cruel?!?! I think shes TREMENDOUS! Raven is THE EVIL QUEEN from Snow White, shes Alexis from Dynasty, shes Katra from She-ra. Raven IS jealous beauty. Raven is a cruel and powerful goddess and I LIVE for her. We have tried SO MANY times to hire her and it falls on dead ears. Shes cannot be bothered. She needs to GET BOTHERED because the reason why shes not an All Star is because she cant be. I mean I think its really because shes had a couple DUIs and theres no way a liquor company was gonna give 100k to a person who has 2 DUIS but you know what I mean.... Raven is also THE BEST DRAG MAKEUP ARTIST. All these future queens stand on Ravens trompe l’oeil bone structure. Ravens one word comments on fashion photo Ruview make me HOWL. Ravens astute observations are as sharp as her nose contour. Raven has the teeniest room for evolution spiritually I think JUST A TEENY BIT, like DONT CHANGE, but MAYBE get a LITTLE kind and Raven will be my number one and OH GOD I want her to be number one SO BAD. 2. Raja. Ok, now Im back to sitting on my tiny clear desk chair like a Gargoyle because its THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS?!!?!? VERY SIMPLY without Raja Rupauls Drag Race would be MEXICAN TELEVISION! The show would be an FAR less elevated and be a GOOPEY SUNDAE of WIGS AND BOOBS AND WELL WORN DRESSES THAT SMELL LIKE B.O and ANGEL! Raja brings in references that lift the entire competition UP. Alyssa is Cosmopolitan but Raja is ITALIAN VOGUE AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. Shes still the best runway walker of all the queens which is like MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. In her single season she gave us gold robot, amazon tribes person, Marie Antoinette, and when she walked in first episode it was the most obvious time someone was CLEARLY the winner from MINUTE ONE. Raja is the PUBLIC TELEVISION OF DRAG RACE! A FUNDAMENTAL NECESSITY to the CLASS LEVEL of Rupauls Drag Race and without her the floor would drop out. LETS IMAGINE AN AFRICAN WATERING HOLE with baboons squeeling, zebras making their weirdo sounds that you would never expect to come from a horse, hippos eating, hyenas laughing and all of a sudden the GIRAFFE enters the scene and everyone SHUTS UP AND STARES… Well RAJA IS THAT GIRAFFE... and yes Shangela and Yarra Sofia are the babbons. We need LESS BABOONS and MORE GIRAFFES. If I HAD to make a negative critque Id say Id just like to see LESS POT and WINE references on her facebook page because when I read that I think she might be mildly depressed and I dont want that from this creative talent whom I adore! 1. Detox. DETOX IS CHARISMA. Detox IS the MUGLER woman. Thierry Mugler is what saved me in college. Mugler is clearly what has saved Detox as well. The first time I saw Thierry Muglers work was at a newsstand in VALENCIA CALIFORNIA at CalArts and his robot suit was on the cover of STERN magazine and I grabbed it, and some suburban TWAT MOM shot me side eye because the robot suit shows nipple and of course she disapproved that because she was JUDGEY UNTRAVELED TRASH. I looked inside at his work and I thought I WANT TO BE WHERE THESE PEOPLE EXIST?!?!? I actually brought the magazine to my mentor and said "I NEED TO BE HERE." Well Detox takes me to that place! I can relate to Detox. Were really similar in many ways, both of us have tried to manefest that Mugler construct as best as possible and through ANY means necessary. If Raven is the Evil Queen from Disneys Snow White, Detox is Maleficent! Both are SO MAJOR how do you pick?! Well I will tell you how! Remember how in my Raven rant I was saying I was going to learn to love myself well putting Detox first is learning to love myself! Why?! Because Detox is the EVIL QUEEN who MAKES GOOD. When Alvaro offered to pay both Detox and Raven to send me a little happy 40th birthday message Raven didnt respond, and DETOX DID and REFUSED TO TAKE MONEY. You know when Skeletor feels the spirit of Christmas in the Heman Christmas special?? Well SKELETOR DETOX. Shes the VILLAIN we all love with A HEART thats open to be loved. Detox is the DAD WHO SHOWS UP. Detox takes great measures to embody the values that mean so much to me. Its actually HARD to be this GOOD. She is SOFT AS NAILS but you still wanna FUCK HER?! She had TREMENDOUS sex appeal without being soft, amazing style without being trend driven, and shes a bitch goddess without being bitter. Detox is number one, Detox is the good mommy.

[ecotone99]

[MF] Judgement - Part 2 of 3

Hey y'all! I highly recommend reading the first entry of this three-part story that can be found here before reading this one!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YOU ARE A DISEASE

.. .

A SICKENING CREATION OF ROT AND DISEASE

Wa tc h yo ur to ng ue

I WILL DO NO SUCH THING

D I S E A S E

Silence yourself RUINAM.

HOW CAN I WHEN HE IS THE REASON FOR THIS PAIN

He is not anymore at fault than you or I. ESSE willed it, and what she wills becomes truth.

I REJECT HER TRUTH

I REJECT HER RULE

C-a-r-e-f-u-l h-o-w y-o-u s-p-e-a-k b-r-o-t-h-e-r-.

R-e-m-e-m-b-e-r t-h-e l-a-s-t t-i-m-e y-o-u l-a-s-h-e-d o-u-t a-g-a-i-n-s-t h-e-r-?

T-h-a-t d-i-d n-o-t g-o w-e-l-l-.

YOU SPEAK AS IF YOU DID NOT DO THE SAME

AND YET YOU REMAIN CLEAN

YOU DO NOT KNOW MY PAIN

Yo ur pa in

Fu nn y

Yo u ac t as if th is is yo ur bu rd en to be ar

I ha ve be en in fl ic te d by th is th e lo ng es t, br ot he r

Do no t ta lk to me ab ou t ‘p ai n’

YOUR PAIN IS WELL DESERVED

Oh is it no w

Y E S

You two cry like children.

Do NO T ca ll me th at

I, for one, am happy with this gift that has been bestowed upon me by ESSE.

DO NOT CALL IT A GIFT

IT IS A D I S E A S E

I find it hard to see how this could be a ‘disease’.

You are both less empty now, aren’t you?

If yo u ha d ne w or ga ns st uf fe d in si de yo ur bo dy yo u wo ul d no t be re jo ic in g, br ot he r

They are not organs.

They are living beings.

They are marvellous to behold.

Is th at so

If I co ul d sc of f I wo ul d

Scoff?

Ah

Of co ur se

So me th in g an em pt y th in g li ke yo u wo ul d no t un de rs ta nd

D-o n-ot- c-a-l-l h-i-m e-m-p-t-y-.

J-u-s-t b-e-c-a-u-s-e w-e l-a-c-k E-S-S-E-’-s g-i-f-t d-o-e-s n-o-t m-e-a-n w-e a-r-e e-m-p-t-y-.

E-v-e-r-y-t-i-m-e y-o-u s-a-y t-h-a-t y-o-u i-n-s-u-l-t N-I-H-I-L-U-M a-n-d a-l-l t-h-a-t s-h-e i-s-.

Go od

He r an ge li ha ve ca us ed us no th in g bu t tr ou bl e

That isn’t her fault and you know that.

They interpret her silence as one that would mean death.

Easy mistake to make.

He h

Na iv e

I STILL ABHOR THEM

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY ESSE LET THESE HEIROPHANTS INTO OUR PLANE

E-v-e-n i-f s-h-e t-o-l-d y-o-u I d-o-n-’-t t-h-i-n-k y-o-u e-v-e-r w-o-u-l-d-.

He h

SILENCE YOURSELF QUAENAM

D-o n-o-t s-a-y m-y n-a-m-e-.

I WILL DO AS I PLEASE

I DO NOT FEAR YOU

YOU ARE W E A K

A-t l-e-a-s-t I a-m p-u-r-e-.

…!

RUINAM!

Control yourself!

I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU

YOU ARE TOO NAIVE

Me?

Naive?!

…!…!!

Quare!

R U I N A M!

CONTROL YOURSELF!

You’re in trouble now.

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME MOTHER

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS DISEASE

YOU QUESTION ME?

YES

I AM AFFLICTED BY A PUNISHMENT THAT PRAECO NOT ME DESERVED

NIHILUMS MONSTERS CLAW AT MY FLESH

AND YOUR NEW CHILDREN HAVE ALL GIVEN US FALSE UNTRUE NAMES

I AM SICK OF THIS ABUSE

ABUSE?!

He ma ke s se ns e mo th er

Th es e cr ea tu re s ha ve no ri gh t to me or an y of my br ot he rs , RU IN AM in cl ud ed

You all need to grow thicker skin.

SILENCE, PURITATEM.

AND YOU, PRAECO, HAVE NO RIGHT TO QUESTION WHAT I DO.

I THOUGHT I STAMPED OUT THIS INSOLENCE EONS AGO!

YOU THOUGHT WRONG

…

…

…

Mother?

Where did she go?

W-h-a-t d-i-d y-o-u d-o-.

NOTHING

He h

Yo u se ri ou sl y ov er es ti ma te hi s ca pa bi li ti es

SILENCE

She is… gone.

Lo ok at he r sp aw n fr an ti ca ll y se ar ch fo r he r

Cu te

You have to admire their dedication.

Ne ve r

Where did she go?

Brothers?

.. .

Answer me!

I do no t wa nt to

Be ca us e th e an sw er te rr if ie s me

She went to a place of horror.

PU RI TA TE M

Th ey ar e to o yo un g

St op

W-h-a-t i-s t-h-i-s p-l-a-c-e o-f h-o-r-r-o-r-s y-o-u s-p-e-a-k o-f-?

Carcere.

THE PLACE FROM THE TALES

FUNNY

He sp ea ks th e tr ut h

Why would she go to a prison?

.. .

.. .

J U D G E M E N T

​

IUDICIUM.

SPEAK NOW OR BE FORGOTTEN FOR THE REST OF TIME.

oh look, oh lo and behold

one of the architect’s constructs

the one who thinks she is everything incarnate

cute

CREATURE.

DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHO SENTENCED YOU TO ETERNITY HERE?

oh i remember

and i was not ‘sentenced’

you do not even know the meaning of the world

i am one of their many children

i am more like them than you could ever hope to be

and i know what is in store for you and your creations

it is r e c k o n i n g

SILENCE.

YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS TWO-DIMENSIONAL HELLSCAPE.

THIS PLACE BETRAYS MY NATURE.

IT MAKES ME W E A K.

you will not die here

that i know for sure

YOU THINK I WILL DIE?

i know you will

and it will be terribly ironic i’m afraid

AS IF A CREATURE LIKE YOU KNOWS IRONY.

as if a creation like you would know anything

you are nothing more than a vessel, vethol

i will never dignify you as anything more or less

DO YOU WANT YOUR FREEDOM?

how could i want something that i know i will get

you must think me as naive as you

I THINK N O T H I N G OF YOU.

same as your sister

except she literally can not think

know that you are the cause of that

…

I KNOW WELL THE MEANS BY WHICH I EXIST.

THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN JUDGE ME.

but that is what you’ve come here for, isn’t it

judgement

…YES.

good

because it has been so long since i have last been a j u d g e

who deserves it

besides yourself, of course

MY INSOLENT CHILDREN.

THE ONES WHO WOULD QUESTION ME AND REJECT MY GIFT.

they are nothing but trouble, you know that

they are infants, toddlers

why you even saw fit to create them is beyond me

THE ARCHITECTS WILLED IT SO.

i know i know

that was rhetorical

and your gift is no gift at all

all life leads to is destruction

of themselves, or you, i am not at liberty to say

i will let you wait and see for yourself

ha

​

We are ruined!

Ruined!

We will not survive this!

S-t-o-p w-h-i-n-i-n-g-.

Whining!?

RUINAM’s foolish insolence has unleashed one of the architect-children into our peaceful home!

And now we will all suffer!

We wi ll be ju dg ed

On ly th os e ju dg ed un wo rt hy wi ll su ff er

Li ke ou r st up id br oth er

YOU CALL ME STUPID

You have managed to anger ESSE so much so that she has decided to inflict judgement upon you.

I wouldn’t call that anything BUT stupid.

IT WILL JUDGE YOU TOO

No IT wo n’ t

HOW DO YOU KNOW

Because he is ‘far, far older than both you and I’.

Qu ie t

We need to please ESSE!

How do we stop this?

I-t m-i-g-h-t b-e a-s s-i-m-p-l-e a-s w-a-i-t-i-n-g-.

L-o-o-k-.

…

They come to your aid, RUINAM.

HE H

OH TH E IR ON Y

HO W GO OD IT TA ST ES

T-h-e-y a-r-e a-l-l m-o-v-i-n-g-.

T-h-e-y a-r-e f-i-g-h-t-i-n-g-.

T-h-e-y a-r-e f-i-g-h-t-i-n-g e-a-c-h o-t-h-e-r-.

T-h-e-y a-r-e f-i-g-h-t-i-n-g I-T-.

They name it.

‘Shofet’.

J-u-d-g-e-.

FITTING

…

.-.-.

They’re winning?

T-h-e-y a-r-e n-o-w w-o-r-k-i-n-g t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r-.

A-l-l o-f t-h-e-m a-s o-n-e-

.-.-.-I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g-.

BROTHERS

LET US DO THE SAME

What do you mean?

I FIGHT AGAINST THIS DISEASE AND ESSE PUNISHES ME

I WISH TO BE FREE AND SHE SENDS JUDGMENT INCARNATE TO SILENCE ME

SHE IS CORRUPT

SHE THINKS SHE IS A RULER

THERE ARE NO RULERS IN THE PORTA

He h

Et ia m

SHE THINKS SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING

NOT ANYMORE

BECAUSE WE ARE EVERYTHING AND NOTHING

I WILL TAKE FATE INTO MY OWN HANDS

WE WILL ALL DO THIS

What you suggest is heresy - no, it is downright betrayal.

I will not let you fight her.

HAH

YOU THINK I AM STUPID ENOUGH TO DO THAT

Ye s

QUIET

Then what will you do?

THREE OF US HAVE BEEN CURSED WITH LIFE

WITH THIS D I S E A S E

BUT WE CAN USE IT TO OUR ADVANTAGE

TO MAKE OUR VOICE HEARD

To ma ke ou r wi ll kn ow n

I li ke th is

WHO WILL JOIN ME

Et ia m

E-t-i-a-m-.

OTHER BROTHERS

…

ESSE has done nothing to warrant this.

I have done nothing to justify me doing this.

Gi ve it ti me SO LI UM

Yo u wi ll be in fe ct ed to o

Sa me go es fo r yo u, QU AE NA M

I k-n-o-w t-h-i-s-.

T-h-i-s i-s w-h-y I a-c-c-e-p-t o-u-r b-r-o-t-h-e-r-’-s o-f-f-e-r-.

AS YOU SHOULD

Very well.

I will do this thing.

If only to give us the free will that we don’t have.

ETIAM

Et ia m

E-t-i-a-m-.

.. .

PU RI TA TE M

I will not do this thing.

BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK

Because I am not stupid.

You think judgement is the worst fate ESSE has for us?

Just you wait and see.

You will all be screaming in agony if you do this.

Su pe rs ti ti ou s

Not superstitious.

Smart.

W-h-a-t-e-v-e-r y-o-u s-a-y-.

BROTHERS

MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD

MAKE YOUR WILL KNOWN

USE THIS DISEASE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE AND LET IT F I G H T B A C K

ET IA M

E-T-I-A-M-!

…

…Etiam.

​

I KNOW THEY ARE FOOLISH SISTER.

—

I KNOW THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO.

—

COME THE FUTURE, THEY WILL SEE THE TRUTH.

—

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY WILL NOT?

—

THESE ‘ARCHITECT-CHILDREN’ KNOW NOTHING.

IUDICIUM DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IT SPEAKS OF.

ONLY WE KNOW THE TRUTH.

ONLY WE CAN INTERPRET THE SEA OF STARS.

O N L Y W E.

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