#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[luludeluluramblings]

tbh I’m more intrigued by the idea of college-age Reader getting pregnant while unmarried still living in the manor and NO ONE has any idea who the father is (maybe she does, but she’s withholding that for now or maybe he’s not in the picture?) and it’s the biggest freak out ever. that just seems so fucking wild and potentially hilarious to me. and nobody noticing she’s pregnant until she’s farther along? or them finding out randomly?? imagine:

damian: you look pregnant. what is wrong with you.

reader: i am pregnant though

the batfam: ????????!!!!!!!!!! and then she proposes that now that she’s old enough and starting a new chapter in her life raising a baby and all she should just move out! (cue everyone disliked that meme)

Neglected!Pregnant!Reader x Yandere!Bat Family

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Okay, I think I'm about to become a Pregnancy!Reader writer. Which, I'm not mad about. Kind think it would be fun, but I know the trope isn't for everyone. So, if it’s not your thing, I’m sorry.

A/N: Some of this is based off of things from my own pregnancies.

A/N: Oh, no. Frick, I wanna make this a series now. Check the bottom, cause I have a plot idea for this and I want opinions on it. I spiraled, this was supposed to be a quick blurb. I got carried away. Gonna build up to the yandere shenanigans because I’m turning into a writer with a million WIPs.

A/N: Tagging @skay-ali because I like their The Forgotten Daughter series.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Very minor Yandere Themes (like barely there), minor NSFW, graphic descriptions of pregnancy and medical procedures, Vomiting.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You don't really remember that night it happened. But, it only happened once and after you swore you'd never drink again. The hangover after that night had been one of the worst of your short life.

In fact, the sticky feeling between your legs and bitter taste on your tongue had also added to your decision to swear of these college parties. Luckily, you have enough of your memory to remember that you and your partner from that night had both been willing even when wasted. Even if you couldn't remember their name. Or, their face.

It takes you a while to notice. One missed cycle wasn't anything to freak out about, and it was exam season. The stress had probably caused the nausea. It wasn't until you were heading down to breakfast one morning and smelled the burnt eggs in the kitchen that Stephanie had burnt that you realized something might be wrong.

You, of course, ignore it. It was just a fluke. Burnt eggs weren't appetizing to anyone. But, then you nearly faint walking through the perfume section after looking to restock your favorite bottle of scent.

The doctor you finally went to another week later had asked about your cycle and the last time you had been intimate with someone. That's when the reality of things started to set in. You hadn't even thought to do an at home test to check. Your doctor was kind though, saying they could just do a quick urine sample and blood test just to make sure. It might be something else.

The next few minutes felt like ages. But, when the Doctor came back to tell you the positive results you panicked. Not as in panicked as in you broke down, but you threw up a mask. You're good at doing that. You must get it from your father.

When she asks you if this is good news or bad news you can't help, but blurt that it's good. Great even. Which causes her to beam at you. Before you know it, you're being handed a complementary diaper bag with formula and tiny bottles while being given the rundown on your possible due date and future appointments. You nodded you're head along with the information, sliding the paper's into the diaper bag as she hands them to you.

But, then she turns to you with delight and tells you that the Ultra Sound tech has an opening and you're just far along enough they can do your first ultrasound. It'll only be a thirty minute wait.

After nodding along once more, you go back into the waiting room. Holding your new bag with white knuckles and falling into deep thought.

This is happening. But, how? Are you even fit to be a parent? You've hardly ever been loved. How are you going to love someone else? How are you going to do this? What will the family think? What will your few friends think? You don't even remember who their father is. This is impossible. You're not ready. You'll never be ready. That churning feeling is in your stomach again and you feel that single piece of toast you had for breakfast about to come back up.

The thirty minutes fly by with those thoughts in your head. They still swirl in your head as your go back into the ultrasound room.

It's dark, but the tech had few soft lights on in the room. Its actually kind of... cozy.

What's not cozy it the tech telling you that she's going to stick a wand up your bits so you could see the baby. Your eyes screwing shut at the cold invasive feeling.

But, when you open them, she turns the screen for you to see. It's almost amazing how fast the image appears on the screen.

And, their moving. Actually moving. You end up laughing at the sight, causing the screen to flicker and the little blob to move. When the nurse plays the heart beat you can feel yours stuttering in your chest.

Watching them bounce in there with each laugh, it’s easy for the next words to spill out of your mouth.

“Oh, I’m gonna love you.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Every step after that feels remarkably less lonely. It’s not just you anymore. You have someone who you’re going to love.

You don’t bother telling the Family. Bruce would just lecture you on being reckless while the other’s would judge you for it.

Honestly, you don’t care if they did. This is your baby.

Funnily enough, for a house full of detectives and highly intelligent vigilantes no one actually notices. Not even Cassandra. It’s a bit insulting how much they don’t pay attention. But, your symptoms soon make it so you don’t care.

The waves of exhaustion, the way everything smells strong and certain things make you want to gag. Heartburn that burns your throat. The subtle cravings that make you cry when you can’t fulfill them. Thankfully you finished your exams because you were too tired to even move from your bed most mornings due to strange nightmares.

Eventually, someone does notice. And, it’s not anyone you would expect.

Of all things you cried over on the pantry floor, it had to be salt and vinegar chips. They hadn’t been what you wanted, but it was too late to go get french fries and a smoothie at this hour in Gotham. And, you stuffed them down your throat with angry tears.

It was Stephanie of all people to find you. You gave her a sharp glare when she seemed to grow wide eyed. Normally you avoid her gaze, but you were quite pissed about having chips in your mouth and not fries. As her eyes grew wider, your nose wrinkled in further annoyance at her.

Just as you’re about to tell her off, she speaks.

“Do you— um, want something else?”

It’s pitiful how fast your snarl turns into a pleading pout.

“Yes, please. I want fries. I want Jokerized fries so badly.” You practically blubber when she gives you a pointed nod towards the car garage.

It takes you a bit to get off the floor despite the fact that your bump is hardly noticeable, but Stephanie noticed the extremely subtle curve.

“How far?” She asks hesitantly, looking from the bump to your face.

You also hesitant for a moment, looking up at her with tears on your cheeks and a serious look in your eyes. “14 Weeks.”

Her eyebrows raise and a wiry pout appears on her face. “Damn. You’re smaller than I was at that time, so not fair.”

The slightly surprised that information gives you almost makes you pause. But, if you had you would’ve probably toppled back down to the pantry floor.

“Explain on the way?” You ask, still a bit nervous. The two of you had never been close since you moved into the manor less than a handful of years back.

“Sure.” She grins, leading the way.

As you both walk, she whispers. “Does Bruce know?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”

“Ah.” Stephanie managed to hide the winces from you.

When you two finally make into the car, you’re already feeling better about life. You’re about to have your fries, and possibly a shake too. You didn’t expect to have any company, but surprisingly it’s nice.

Stephanie drives, and get the fries to go. Munching on them as Stephanie drives you back to the manor. Her sharing her own pregnancy experience.

"Wait, so Tim dated you when you were pregnant with another dudes kid? Babe, forget being me being small, you got game."

"Damn right I do." She says smugly, stuffing her own fries in her mouth. "So, um, do you wanna talk about what happened with you?"

And, just like that your mood shifts.

"No."

"Oh- Oh! I'm sorr-" She starts up, and you can tell she's assuming the worst.

"Don't you start, Stephanie." You interrupt with a pointed glare. "I don't want to talk about it because it's none of y'all's business."

That makes her cough on her french fry. "Wait, wait, what do you mean? Don't you want help?"

"Nah, I got it." Comes your stubborn reply, glaring out the window as you dip your fry into the cheesecake milkshake.

"... You should tell Bruce." She suggest after a moment of awkward silence.

"What? So he can ignore his grandchild, too?" Your filter is none existent with your hormones all out of wack.

"He doesn't ignore you-"

"Oh, yes the fuck he does." Your firmly state. Growing a bit heated. "Y'all all figgin do."

Stephanie is about to roll her eyes, chalking your words to you just being unreasonable. But, then the thought starts to creep upon her with each passing building when she realizes this is the first time she's actually hung out with you. Ever.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs to you. The silence falling over you both as the cars continues back to the manor.

"... I'm only forgiving you because you bought my fries..."

"Really?! That's all I had to do?"

"What? I was desperate for this- Wait! Hang on. Stop the car. Stop the car-"

"What? Why?! Are you- OH! Fuck!"

You ended up regurgitating up all the fries you had just eaten. Right into your lap.

"Oooo, that's nasty." Stephanie says, cracking the windows.

"Is it bad that I still want to eat them?" You mumble to her, eyeing the remaining fries.

"Please, please, wait till we get back or I'm gonna hurl, too."

"Fine." Comes your reply. Your eyes drifting shut for a moment. "If you tell anyone I'm gonna tell Cassandra about your crush on her."

"How did you- Frick, you are more like Bruce then I realize." Her voice going from panic to begrudging realization.

"Now, that's offenseive."

"Oh, come on. You're kids gonna have some of Bruce's DNA too."

"Eww. Eww. Don't remind me."

The banter between you both coming back with ease.

When you make it back to the manor, parting ways for the night. You feel at ease. You may have made have finally made a new friend in all this and gained a pillar of support.

As you shower and finish off your fries, you can't help but think about the apartments you had been looking at. Wondering what Stephanie will thinking of your nursery ideas.

Down in the cave, Stephanie slowly walks down the steps. Realizing this might have just gotten complicated.

"You okay, Steph?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Soooooo, what if, and hear me out, wee add some baby daddy drama to this?

A/N: Please note, I write a Reader that DID NOT grow up with the Bat Family, which means we could have some really really juicy drama here. But, we could just keep the options limited to just close friends of the Bat family.

A/N: What do y'all think? Baby Daddy drama? One of the Bat Boys the Daddy? One of the other vigilantes? Should I do a Baby Daddy poll? I just feel like this is an opportunity.

A/N: Also, Stephanie was a teen mom in some comics from my research. Which I think adds to this and gives her a better chance of bonding with Reader until shit goes down.

[starberry-cupcake]

UPDATING AGAIN!!! I probably won't be able to read in the next 2 days, so I wanted to do some catching up before that. Life, etc.

previously in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 37

there's a training montage before the Beast arrives

the narrator (still undetermined, I'm starting to wonder if it's harrow but a harrow with all her memories or something, I don't know yet) says what we've been thinking the whole time

"the lyctors also did what they perhaps should have from the very start, and organized loosely planned, often contradictory sessions of instruction for Ianthe—and for you"

abysmal organizational skills, these people

harrow is wondering who of all her companions will betray the emperor

I think it's you, harrow, but I'm not certain yet

harrow is also wondering if she'll live or not, everyone's betting against her but I'm still holding my faith for the little feral kitten

doctor reverend emperor john tells harrow again that if she wants to be locked in with him in coward corner, she can do that

the emperor's hideout:

I suggest you do that, harrow, and while you're in there, you kill him

harrow lives, the emperor dies, we all win

harrow asks doctor reverend emperor john why he's such a coward

not with those words, exactly

I mean, I'm not saying he's a coward because he hides, he's a coward because he hides while his lyctors die for him

the emperor gives one of his Speeches about how when he resurrected nine planets, he became God and without him, the Houses die with him, because the star of their system would fail and become a black hole

I think it's a risk we'd all have to take if it kills him tbh, bring in the black hole

"so many people hate us" YOU DON'T SAY

harrow asks dr reverend emperor john who AL is

the emperor proceeds to change subject by asking harrow if her and yandere twin are practicing safe sex

to which harrow responds with "we don't even like each other"

and he's like "sorry, sorry, my bad"

BACK TO A.L. WHICH IS THE SUBJECT I'M INTERESTED IN

AL is indeed Annabel Lee though her real name is undisclosed

she was the emperor's bodyguard and the first resurrected and maybe the blueprint of the resurrection thing itself and also kind of everyone's sort of mother??? it's complicated

the First House apparently went out via rising sea levels and nuclear fission

as one does, if you didn't pay attention to captain planet

emperor clown says that she wasn't a human being and she struggled to pretend that she was

as if you guys behaved as human beings, but ok

and that she died after the first time they did the killing that brought them into this situation in the first place

we've heard a bit of this with teacher, in the gideon-less au

but she didn't die, according to him, the lyctors asked the emperor to kill her and he imprisoned her in the locked tomb

so the emperor here is maybe not telling the whole truth

which, again, confuses me, because how can exposition be real in an au that is not, unless there's something real in it in some way

there is new information in the gideon-less au that is relevant and also accurate to our present situation, even if the au isn't what actually happened

and it feels like a hotel california because the people who are alive in there, as time passes by, are the ones that died here

like, if you think about it, those that remain alive there are all the ones that died (the fifth, the kids, martita, real!dulcinea, protozoa, ortus)

the ones who are dying there are still alive here (camilla, palmolive, regina george twin, judith) except for duracell bunny nephew (because his soul is sailing the high seas), and mayonnaise uncle, who is my one outlier that ruins my theory

BUT HE SAID BTW that ominous thing to regina george twin, before pushing her off, about her sister being "out there"

also, palmolive said "kill us twice, shame on god" or something along those lines???

SO WHAT KIND OF PURGATORY STUFF ARE WE CAUGHT IN HERE??? IDK

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE CHAPTER

everything crashes because dr reverend emperor john tells harrow that AL would have liked her and that he would have liked to be her father

harrow proceeds to have a meltdown about that

which, fair, if this guy told me that, I'd also be devastated

NOW here's where I started wondering if harrow is the narrator

like there's two harrows or something

because the narrator says "you bereft idiot" and I think harrow's the only one who would dunk on harrow like that

I don't know, I'm probably not making any sense, but what if????

the emperor admits to being a fool which, fair

and harrow admits to having looked into the tomb

and the emperor says it's impossible that she bypassed the wards because he didn't include a way in and made a ward that wouldn't answer to anyone

he thinks whatever harrow thinks she saw wasn't what is there and that her parents died for nothing

harrow doesn't trust her mind one bit, so she questions what she really saw

and the emperor asks her who tampered with her temporal lobe

which accounts for the bleeding when she tries to remember, I think

I also think that she did it herself, maybe? or at least with her consent, but she doesn't remember

I think there's a plan here

in any case, harrow doesn't describe ice cube barbie to the emperor

she just runs away with more questions than answers, as usual

CHAPTER 38

if you thought harrow's mental turmoil would be taking a break, think again

this book really exhausts one emotionally huh

harrow is questioning all of the things she thinks she knows and can see with her own two eyes after the emperor told her she didn't really see the tomb or ice cube barbie

which is great, because now she sees not!dulcinea under her bed

she goes to fetch yandere twin and she sees nothing

I legit thought she was gaslighting harrowcita tbh

but then harrow doesn't see her anymore

I don't know, man, I don't trust anyone in this place

also, alleged gideon aka ortus tries to kill harrow one last time, for the road

he doesn't kill her, but tells her not to go into the river and to end herself without suffering because he failed her by not killing her

and he also says "this wasn't my idea"

harrow (and anyone reading) wants to know whose idea it was, but telling us would be just too straightforward for lyctors who do everything dramatically backwards

narrator says "you were always such a little bitch when you were angry"

IS THIS HARROW? IS IT? don't tell me

CHAPTER 39

the Beast is approaching and we have a terrible plan, so it's time to start it

harrow makes a comment about her sword and how "your dead self told you to carry" it

♥ we love the sword because we love gideon ♥

the Herald starts approaching and there's a very unpleasant energetic situation going on with its arrival

harrowcita does some meditation that sounds actually very cool

"You made yourself one inhalation and exhalation—reduced yourself to one sensation, following it from down at the toes up all the lines of your body to the crown of your head"

this situation of pain and suffering is gonna go on for over an hour, according to mercygirl

I mean, nobody told you to kill planets so, that's what you get

the chapter ends with a 10 minute mark until breach and with harrow walking to her death

but next freakin chapter starts with "nine months and 29 days before the emperor's murder" SO I GUESS WE WON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IMMEDIATELY AFTER

and this is where I have to stop, so until next time, I really won't know what happens and I'll have time to marinate all those wacky theories I just threw

[cupcraft]

Just remembered cuddy’s argument over whether house needed a closer handicap spot or not and saw red. That was her lowest point in terms of ableism tbh. You dont need the parking spot….youre an addict….Shes in a wheelchair…. GET REAL!!!

No yeah that episode should've been unpacked more over the course of the series. She was like "Well technically house the ADA says 50 feet is how much you can walk so that means you're life's fine your spot is 50 feet away teehee!" and he's like "Um cuddy you realize that the ADA is not all encompassing and chronic pain and mobility issues is a lot more than feet to the door like I have to plan my bathroom breaks, when the elevator's out, walking to from my office to the clinic, etc. like it's a lot more than that....?" and she's like um well you're not SUPER disabled bc you can walk so it's not as bad as you say! And as punishment House had to use a wheelchair to "prove" he could handle "not walking" (even though House himself has used wheelchairs before and often uses it in certain settings, ie on planes. and Secondly, it shouldn't matter if he has or not) and forces him and the other doctor to fight each other instead of trying to make the hospital at large more accessible for the both of them. And then when House god forbid stands up to save someone's life during surgery he "cheated" and "proved he wasn't really that disabled because god forbid you stood during surgery!" Like are you fucking kidding me.

[dear-mrs-otome]

Jude's 'Love Kiss' from CE

The shitbrained summary version, definitely inaccurate somewhere but you'll get the gist:

Opens on Kate all, OOOH PRETTY FLOWERS Lovely summer breeze, this is heavenly, I could stay here forever 😍

Then the lovely scene is interrupted by a voice bitching that she can't laze about there and never pay them back, and Kate's thinking, nani the fuck, is that Jude's voice? Crap he's right I can't be in debt to him!

She jerks awake and promptly chokes up a shitload of water, looking around all blearily. BEAUTIFUL PLACE GONE :( Ellis is there, banging her on the back asking if she's okay and such, and she says ya she's alright. Ellis tells her, dang girl you nearly drowned!

She's thinking, holy crap was that garden THE AFTERLIFE? If not for Jude's voice, she might still be there, DED. The idea is kinda freaking her out tbh, so she hugs herself.

Jude sighs that it's bit cold for a swim ffs, and Kate's tells him she wasn't swimming, there was this child drowning so she wanted to save them??? She's panicked a moment over whether the kiddo is okay, and Ellis assures her they are - they went off to a doctor to get checked out but seemed fine, just cold. She's relieved and asks, did Ellis save her then? He sets the record straight though, telling her nope, not me, I didn't get here in time - Jude hauled you back to shore and gave you mouth to mouth.

Cue Kate all…..Jude????

She finally notices that he's soaking wet too, and Jude offers her a smarmy line about how it sucks for her she didn't get kissed awake by a ✨prince✨ - she got the wizard. Kate says, no actually thanks a bunch but record scratch wait. Mouth to mouth?????

Jude: That's usually the standard first aid when someone's drowned duh

Then Jude bitches at her for getting all blushy over something like that and how she's gonna make him look stupid for saving her dumb ass. Finishing with exasperation, all …ugh whatever, I'm soaking wet and I'm going home, get ur ass to the doctor just in case. He chucks his jacket at her with a comment about how she's putting on a show (cause her clothes are wet and plastered and see-through) and it'll cause him problems and look bad to be seen with her like that so cover up. She's swimming in the jacket when she puts it on but it's warm and dry and smells like him and she has to scold herself BAD HEART NO SKIPPING BEATS.

Just about then Ellis tells them both to look up, and Jude's startled to see there's some leftover Christmas decoration or something in the tree above, with some mistletoe. Kate's thinking, oh dang, isn't there some superstition about how if a couple kisses under the mistletoe they'll be together forever?? DOES MOUTH TO MOUTH COUNT?

From the look Jude's giving her as he glances at her it seems obvious to us that Kate's every thought is probably plain as day in her expressions. He rips the decoration down, shoves it at Ellis and tells him: Burn it.

Ellis takes off immediately to do just that, and Kate begins all, uh….soooo…. Jude….

He stops her though and says, you don't actually believe in that superstition right?

Kate: PFFT N-NO >.> why, do you? Jude obesrves that she's a shit liar, before grabbing her arm and saying that he's gonna shove a new superstition into that ditzy head of hers. And with that he yanks her in and kisses her for real this time…but she can't help noticing how there's no warmth to it, not with the both of them freezing cold from the river and such. When he finally pulls back pointedly, Kate is thinking the icy kiss was like proving there's no love between them.

Jude proclaims that kissing under the same spot NEGATES the first kiss, so there - Cancelled. Nulled and voided.

Kate just….okayyyy. Clearly she knows he's just made this up, and she's wondering why the heck he would even bother kissing her again to make up for HER superstition. Does he hate the concept of it THAT much? Because, obviously, they aren't a couple. It wouldn't even apply. They're clearly not making some FOREVER PROMISE to each other.

…But it still kinda stings for some reason she can't explain.

She's chalking it up to the discrepancy between how glad she'd felt that Jude had saved her, and the NOPE attitude here, but Jude says that basically, just a kiss isn't worth it/enough to pledge TOGETHER FOREVER over. Clearly offended by the very idea. Kate's all, what, is a vow that bad??

And Jude simply says:

There's no such thing as forever.

It takes her a second to figure out how that's an answer to her question, and then it clicks. It's not that Jude dislikes the idea of a promise. It's that Jude always keeps his, and if 'forever' doesn't exist like that, he's not going to make that promise because he can't keep it. Nothing is forever, ergo a promise of eternity is bound to be broken, and therefore Jude would never make it. And Kate's thinking, GDI that's actually really sincere of him. People can lie to themselves too, about love and 'staying together forever'…but even if it's just a silly superstition, Jude never makes a promise he can't keep.

She wonders to herself if… someday, he might find someone he wants to pledge forever to. And she's musing how despite bitching and everything, he didn't hesitate to save her. She's spent enough time around him by now to know that he's not a bad man at heart. How behind all his ruthlessness and arrogance, he's not truly cruel at all.

…Someday, someone's going to notice that side of Jude and snag him. And that thought unsettles her, for some reason she can't explain.

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

[sonic-4-episode-ii]

(bit of uhhh systemphobia/ableism in this one. interalized. shadow isnt actually ableist hes just bad a grieving)

tbh at first i dont think shadow would know what a system is

like sure, he grew up in a medical environment... but that doctoring was focused pmuch exclusively on physical disabilities, not mental illnesses.

even if he did find a DSM-I or something, he wouldnt have heard anything abt DID. though there are reports of it going back literal hundreds of years, they only got the proper term for it in like 2013, and it was pmuch nowhere in the dsm until recently.

even then, so so so many people act like it doesnt exist. like it isnt legit. even now, and especially back then.

i think that would cause shadow a lotta frustration. he tries to race sonic, just to be hit w 'sonic' aaying smt like "im sorry, love, hes not at front today. i can relay the message, though!"

tbh i think shadow would get pissed. that IS sonic. its his face, his body, his voice - ignoring the completely different tone used, one shadows never heard him use, one that barely sounds like him at all - so why is who is clearly sonic acting like they aren't?

they badger tails about it later, who gives them a straight answer they refuse. they interrogate knuckles, who tells them the massive history of DID in his tribe, which shadow completely ignores. annoyed (confused) tired (desperate) they go to amy, who tells them that - well, when sonic was a kid, he wasnt safe, so his brain split and made new parts of him that could help make him safe. now that he is safe, though, his brain still makes new parts, for any reason it wants - or thinks it needs to.

despite how clear these answers were, shadow wouldnt accept a single one of them.

sonic the hedgehog is one person. one concept. one thing.

a guy who loves adventure.

he is not the villain of his own story. he is not so sickeningly sweet it surprises even his little sibling. he is not so cruel and antisocial that he leaves people behind for months, refusing to talk for any reason other than personal amusement.

he is annoying. he is bothersome. he is pushy, and loud, and deeply immature.

he is frozen in time.

when shadow met him, he was all of these things. he still is. he always will be. he doesn't change. he doesn't grow.

amy grew two feet taller and has a part-time job, tails grew three feet and looks like an entirely new person. knuckles adopts a new fashion style every month.

sonic doesn't change. he has new clothes, but they're the same style he's had them in since they first met. he has a new cane, but that's just an accessory, it's nothing unique, it doesn't mean anything.

he's a superhero wannabee, a one-trick pony, the same phrase repeated over and over and over again.

maria used to tell shadow she saw monsters. not just the regular ones under the bed or in the closet, but standing in the hallway and staring at her, whispering gibberish nonsense words until she ran away, trying not to cry.

sonic told him that it has schizophrenia, apparently. some kinda mental disorder 'categorized by hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thinkin' and behavior, and flat or inappropriate affect'.

he laughed. maybe a little maniacally.

'how's that for flat?'

shadow said it absolutely was inappropriate. sonic challenged him to a race. shadow told him only if you're prepared to lose, and the two fought for hours.

they did this constantly. at least once a week. 'enjoying' each other's presence, battling their way to the top.

this routine has been changed. shattered. because one day, sonic just wasn't home.

he could grow. he could change.

he could leave

but, half a week later, he comes back, running up from behind shadow as he takes a cruise on the dark rider, scaring the shit out of him by nearly running backwards into a building

it says it heard about that race he wanted. shadow tells him the offer's off. not taking no for an answer, it says it invites him to a race.

he accepts.

[variousqueerthings]

VERY RAMBLY BUT I think rose and martha are like the inverse of one another in terms of narrative, in that they both meet a doctor who is deeply deeply hurt, but the doctor interacts with them about it so differently, because of where they're at with that hurt, and the doctor is like "hey, I'm suave and vulnerable beneath the surface, which is quite attractive, want to travel in space and time in my whimsical timeship?" and they both go "oh heck yes!" and then it's like splintered glass from that point on, like martha lives in a funhouse mirror of rose's story -- up until she makes it her own of course and she does call the doctor out on it relatively early on, although rose continues to have that haunting effect

so rose has this bubble created around her that is perfect and unchangeable almost, in which nothing bad can ever happen (except for all the times it does but huuush, we'll be together forever forrealsies don't look at that big ol hurricane hurtling our way), which then inevitably bursts, but is always there-as-memory, because rose becomes something of an impossible ideal to some extent

and martha isn't protected at all, and has all the badness spilling out on her because the doctor is unable to contain any of it (and maybe is relieved to finally give up on being strong), and subsequently all of the promise of wonder has an air of sourness to it, and the doctor will always feel incredibly guilty about how it all ended

but crucially there's a lot they have in common, that is quite different to, say, donna (who is woven in in her own, interesting, way) -- they both become attracted to this powerful, interesting, and suuuper traumatised being, they're both taken along on a journey of promised wonders, they're both incredibly reliable to the point that the narrative is retroactively fitted around how much the doctor's belief-systems revolve around belief in their companions, with many others from the past given their dues (starting with sarah-jane), and they both do see wonders beyond their comprehension (and so does donna, but again, there's something a bit different there to poke at in another post...),

except where for rose this wonder helps her break out of the path that was set down for her and become who she always had the potential to be in a way that is mostly framed as a positive (although with some -- I think -- under-analysed caveats...) and she will be forever thankful for the doctor arriving in her life, martha's is more like an awe that the universe is so hostile and so lonely and so heartbreaking, and so she needs to become more resilient and more ready to make choices that are terrible (from travelling the broken world for a year to the osterhagen key....), and so there's another story about someone who becomes strong and tough (just like rose) but it's because the doctor wasn't really able to be there for her, and while I don't think the show (from memory) ever has her totally regretting the doctor dropping into her life, there for sure is some solemnity to how her story ends, a bit of a dampener in comparison (even tbh in comparison to donna, who yeah, gets her memory taken, but is suggested -- now confirmed perhaps? -- to get more of her life in order/feel more self-confident, also partially because of that subliminal influence of her time with the doctor)

and this isn't to say that it's all-bad for martha! her working for UNIT and Torchwood has a lot of very interesting facets to it, and she is fulfilling her potential to be this impressive, capable person, but the ways all of this was built up to is so heartrending

rose coming in and "saving" the doctor, except it was a bit of a lie, because the second she wasn't there they crashed even harder than before, and martha coming in with the idea that she could save the doctor and walking away when realising what it was doing to her life, and both rose and martha irrevocably changed to the point that the person pre-doctor is barely recognisable in them anymore, both take on the doctor's self-sacrificial traits...

and also the idea that rose gets the fantasy, but it's the fantasy a-bit-to-the-left (funhouse again) because there's always something a bit disconcerting about the lengths the doctor goes to to maintain the bubble, to the point of offering up the alternate-him/tentoo so that she can still have it, even though the actual physical doctor that shared it with her isn't actually there! and martha gets the glimpse of the fantasy, and then has to come to terms with the fact that she's not the person it's "for" and reassess her relationship to the idea of a fantasy in the first place (it helps that martha is an incredibly practical, pragmatic person, but it's still so... ouch)

I don't think it was intentional, but this also fascinating from the perspective of rose as a white woman and martha as a black woman -- who is the fantasy for, to the extent that strange and universe-breaking events go into maintaining it, and who has to be practical and pragmatic and self-reliant?

and also, it's got more tragedy in both cases -- rose as a spectre/haunter of the narrative is always a little bit intangible when she's looked back on (even though in the story she's in she's incredibly real and well-rounded, every time I go back to s1 I am struck by how grounded she is in reality), and I think that's something interesting in terms of her mother's warning in s2, how if she travels with the doctor "forever" she'll become something else, something not her

and martha's mother warns her as well, although she's not completely sure of what, and in contrast to rose this warning comes into very painful fruition, harming her entire family (except, maybe her brother? I wonder if there's anything written about that), but where rose is so omnipresent, martha tries several times to take herself out

(also something about both of their mothers being their anchor-points)

there's something there that's at the centre of both rose's and martha's arcs:

is the change they're going through because of the doctor... good? good for them? good for their families? good as in they're becoming better people than before? good for the world they inhabit? is it good for the person they used to be? did they become better than that person? can they ever truly deal with or even begin to comprehend how these events made them who they are? can they even connect who they are now to who they were then? was this good?

they both become these larger-than-life people, somewhat without noticing on both parts (but the narrative does notice), one of them a ghost, and the other a soldier -- one of them an increasingly intangible, ever-present idea, and the other someone who has to fight every step of the way

it's just a bunch of things I've had going through my head that I can't quite formulate in coherent essay-like sentences, but for sure it's there

opposite sides of the coin, rose tyler and martha jones

I do wish they'd had space in the story for them to talk

[papabearbobbynash]

Hi,

Do you think there should be more love shown to Bobby when he was in a coma? I mean when Buck was in a coma even May, Athena, and Chris was there. Everyone came to see Buck. But when Bobby was in a coma no one wait beside him only Athena? It would be great if May continue telling Bobby she loves him like when she told Bobby when Buck was in a coma. Maybe that would be the push for Bobby to wake up. His (step) daughter asking him to come back home to their family. What if there was an interaction between Buck and May beside his bed and them discussing that Bobby is basically their dad. Even Harry, remember when Michael was asking the family about proposing to David, Harry said that he now had 3 dads so Harry sees Bobby as his father too. Have the kids interact with each other would be great. Since Bobby's main guilt is about losing his kids. It would shown that in this life he has kids too though not his biologicaly. Maddie and Karen were not in the hospital. It seems like nobody cares about Bobby even though Bobby has always been the anchor to them. It's sad actually. Instead of the date with Tommy, Tommy could've supported Buck by showing up in the hospital.

Hi

there were many questionable decisions on this episode regarding Bobby and I definitely think the biggest problem was the lack of emotion of a dramatic situation they build up for three weeks.

They promoted the hell out of Bobby being in danger in this finale and when it reached the moment for them to gut wreck us, they cut most part of it (Athena in his bedside almost crying, Eddie praying on his bedside while Buck looks almost catatonic). Not to count the complete wtf decisions regarding it other decisions, such as May and Harry not being there for the painful part? When the actors are in the episode and we know it's hard for Corinne to be on the episodes due schedule with her college? Not a single solo scene with any of the 118 who lost their shit before for way lighter injuries Bobby had? Buck "almost lost my dad" thought turning into a sexual joke? Really??

The fact Athena was out hunting whoever done it, I get it, because i expected it end on that. People who expected Athena to do different don't know her character well tbh. The moment she heard from the doctors that Bobby's heart stopped for 14 minutes, she already lost hope, she thought he wasn't waking up from that, and she had lost him. With that? She wouldn't sit there and watch him die for nothing, because in her mind this wouldn't do anything good for Bobby. She already went through that with Emmet and she definitly wouldn't wait 30 years to catch the culprit. This time she had to do something even though it's completely a bad call from her part, because its mostly a coping mechanism to shield her from the pain she is feeling while trying to compensate for the guilt (into believing Amir was the culprit when she invited him in their house + her last words for her husband being on a argument) and to mask her pain. So this part i get it, even if her ways of doing it are definitely not the best to watch. From Athena's part i think we got enough emotion, even if misdirected, however it could have been better. (Forever mourning the promo scene not making to the final cut)

Overall I don't think they made Bobby unimportant (Considering the "goodbye montage" makes it clear he is that much important even if himself doesn't see it). The problem of the whole hospital moments is they writing ooc scenes that don't feel genuinely the character we've watched so far (except for Athena, personally she was totally in character) in the middle of a rushed episode that did not need to be rushed.

Heck they could have left Bobby's life hanging till the premiere. They had the perfect chance of a wrecking cliffhanger if that is what they wanted. They didn't need to worry about being cancelled with such an unfinished story line.

It would stress the hell out of me, but would have killed as a starting anchor to the next season, because it's literally an emotional disaster for the team. It would also allow certain breath in the finale for Athena's character, May and Harry presence could be more meaningful and not only after the turmoil and we could have scenes with the team and Bobby as well.

Instead we got that.. Anyway, it had some bathena moments, but this was underwhelming after all that build up. And i definitely think this episode should have been more emotional. Like allow the audience to feel the pain of the situation before rush to solve it?

Thank you for the ask, and sorry for the venting.

[lastoneout]

My blood clot pain has reached a weird point where it's kinda better as long as I don't use my hand for literally anything at all, but when it does flare it's straight up AGONY like a solid 7-8 on the pain scale and unfortunately it seems like this pain is no longer responding well to my current 5mg oxycodone, and like the last ER doctor I saw *tried* to prescribe me 7.5mg ones 'cuz she legit said 5mg probably wouldn't cut it, but my insurance straight up would not cover it and the cost without was $500(and that's with the best coupon I could find) and the ER doctor didn't have the time to put a prior auth through and just gave me the 5mg stuff(and I had to pay out of pocket for those too bcs my insurance would only cover a week's supply but they were at least only $40) so I guess my options are

1) go insane playing it as safe as possible not using my hand for anything and only taking the meds when I absolutely cannot stand the pain and pray I can hold out until I see my endovascular surgeon on friday

OR 2) go back to the ER and see if they can do the prior auth and pray my insurance will cover more than a weeks supply and also that the ER doesn't interpret this as drug seeking behavior and turn me down

I think what I am gonna do is again play it as safe as I can and try to only use the meds once a day if I can help it, and in the meantime call my insurance and see if they can give me a list if meds they do cover(tbh it's weird for oxy to cost this much, a similar supply for my dog was like $5 and I did talk to someone who works for my insurance the other day for a different reason and she also seemed shocked it wasn't covered and was so expensive) and hope that I can last until my follow up with my endovascular surgeon and double extra hope I'm either recovered a lot more by then or if I'm not that he'll have a plan to help resolve it faster or at least be willing to prescribe me one of the covered meds and do whatever prior auth is needed. Plus that way if the pain does get unbearable before then the list will help the ER give me something that will help better(if they are cool and don't assume this is drug seeking behavior).

This whole thing genuinely sucks so fucking bad, I'm in agony rn debating if I should take another pill before bed and risk building up even more of a resistance or try to thought it out to save my meds for if it somehow gets worse than this. I'm so fucking tired too I've avoiding my usual insomnia edibles AND my remaining ambien in case they react badly with the oxy and kill me in my sleep or something and that plus the agony mean's I'm not sleeping well and the agony is thus harder to deal with and my pressure headaches get worse cuz not sleeping us a major trigger and the cycle just spirals worse and worse, and I can't do anything fun in bed cuz I'd usually play video games and those require two hands and AOUHDGJKL I fucking HATE this!!!

Ima just try to tough it out and sleep and see where I'm at tomorrow and make that call regardless. Hopefully this doesn't drive me too insane and I can maybe sit at my desk, getting out of bed would do me some good atm. I need to feel normal for just one fucking day.

[roxannepolice]

Rant 1/waiting for the department head to open his bloody e-mail/TDF doesn't work, really

The Doctor Falls is literally the highest graded Master episode on IMDB, and I'm not denying that it's a good episode, and also know that for some it is there that they like the Saxon Master best, but tbh for me it just doesn't work. Or perhaps works, but in that weird way where a work meant to send one message gets celebrated in a completely contradicotry way, Don Quixote style. Yes, Simm!Master's fans have been critcising it since 2017 as erasing his story in s3-4 (and tbc, I am pissed at the the way in which the Blasting of Rassilon was framed by Twelve, also bad at driving? the guy who repeatedly went back and forth between the end of the universe and 2007 UK? coming from the "oh I might have missed my mark by a few centuries" guy?), to which it is questioned if he really had a development, to which others ask if Missy had an actual development, and so on and so forth, but to me the problems go way, way deeper. At the same time, I always welcome pointing out if I missed something and general criticism (consider it a practice in waiting for the comments from my supervisors)!

First off, a simple question: did the Doctor have an actual plan that involved the Masters, or he was just expecting them to happily turn his sacrifical suicide into an expanded one for no practical reason??? Like, his only plan is "and then someone stays here and blows up the entire platform so Cybermen can't get higher up, and that's gonna be me because I'm dying and tired". So did he want the Masters to "stand with him" to, what die too? Leave with the colonists - and then what, live as retired alcoholic gunmen farmers, Clint Eastwood-style? Because the part where the colonists get away was achieved anyway! I guess they could get up to the Doctor's TARDIS all the way up and then even go fetch him, but I suppose that would elbow the sacrificial part away. Also, the option where at least some of the colonists pack themselves into those lifts and everyone gets onboard the Master's TARDIS is like. There. And wouldn't those guys know where more lifts were, like that's how they got to the level in the first place???

I'm not saying you can't headcanon an alternative plan that the Doctor had, but it sure as hell wasn't communicated to the audience, which, to clarify, I am focusing on here, like I'm analysing the episode as a work of fiction that someone was in charge of, not a documentary of strategic mistakes done by people under pressure.

Second: Missy just had to, had to, keep her plans a secret from the Doctor. Why???? I don't even have much to elaborate on here, I just could never understand this, and a more serious problem here is:

Why did Missy have to kill Saxon in the first place??? Like, seriously. Why. Do you really look at this guy and think he would have thought twice about running away on his own if he got to the lift and noticed she wasn't there??? Oh yeah, but "he's worried about his future!". Well everyone would be if they saw their future standing in awe of the protagonist doing exposition for ten years of your own timeflow, but frankly I just can't see this guy as not prioritising the here and now of his own (very nice) ass needing to run! Like, was he actively STOPPING HER from staying with the Doctor? No, he just strolled the fuck away without turning back! Oh, but maybe Missy knows he has to die now to regenerate into her, so it's all about keeping the timeline going. Soooo, she does remember these events after all? The Master went out of plot timeline overlapping induced memory loss at just the right moment to realise he's dying of a stab wound on a Mondasian colony ship, but also to already be onboard the TARDIS? Very convenient. Again, I wouldn't be raging if this was actually communicated, but it wasn't.

Which finally leads me to Missy's "sacrifice". What sacrifice? No, really, did her death actually change anything, because that's like the definition of a sacrifice? Leaving aside the whole problem of whether or not the Masters staying with the Doctor would have changed anything, Saxon was letting her get away until she started talking about her reasons for staying. Which she did because?... Like, again, it's not like either of them is going to remember anything of this. Yeah, but it needed to be communicated for the audience. Ok, then this is exactly when bad writing steps in. Like, if you need the characters to do something incredibly illogical for the audience's sake then you didn't write it in a way that would be naturally incorporated into the story.

Missy didn't sacrifice herself. She died of character exposition. She crashed into the fourth wall like a bird into glass door. She's shuffled off her screentime coil, run down the literal curtain, and joined the bleedin' incidental music orchestra invisible. She's not pushing daisies only because BBC's budget didn't include them.

Ok, I railed myself up, but really, the fact that Missy's death is usually framed as a sacrifice is one of those moment where I literally wonder if there are some glaring version differences between the episode I watched and that watched by everyone else.

But you know, I get it. As the Doctor explicitly laid out in his speech (which is its own can of worms on whether it's logically solid, that I'll get down to while waiting for my principal to open his bloody e-mail), this is not about winning, this is about doing the kind thing. Which is where the actually interesting interpretation of The Doctor Falls comes in. Which is the clash between deontological and utilitarian ethics.

Crash course: deontological ethics relies on viewing certain acts as good or evil by their very nature, while utilitarianism wages moral value in reference to some specific goal, which is not neccessarily "gain", but for example, preserving the lives of as many people as possible. To use the trolley dilemma (which is a thought experiment! it's meant to illustrate things, you're really not doing a "gotcha!" by asking about mass transport quality and regulations, though I appreciate this as a rethoric device), a deontologist will say reverting the train to one person instead of five is wrong, because at this point it becomes murder, while an utilitarianist will say reverting is right, because more people are saved than killed. To use a less cliche and reconfigured example, is it moral to blow up a planet if that's the only way to stop a war that's literally warping time into nonexistence? I've argued elsewhere that the deontology vs. utilitarianism is also the contrast made by John Smith vs. professor Yana. Yeah, I know the usual reading is "oh, look, the Doctor can be kind of a dick and the Master a good person!", but if you scratch down to the bottom of things, it's more the case of "the Doctor will focus on the values of people they identify with and the Master will focus on a goal; should they land in an environment where they will respectively identify with bigots, and have only one goal left in the universe and that's preserving life, they will be how they ended up being". Self-sacrifice becomes a matter of calculating yourself as the most expendable party.

In TDF, the Doctor is placed on the deontological side of the dilemma by everything he says during his speech(tm): it's kind. It just is, by its very nature. And to clarfiy for the pissing on poor website: I am not denying this! This is a very, very soild point! What I do argue is that Saxon Master isn't just being very bad because he never heard the music uwu, but that there's an ethical standpoint to his actions too! He's an utilitarianist, as the Master's always been! Why, just why is it wrong to mind control people if they clearly can't make the right choices on their own? Why is absolute power evil if individual will keeps going astray? Why is it wrong to body posses people if this saves my own life? Why shouldn't I change history if there are very good people in need of saving? Why shouldn't I run away if the only plan to save others will include me dying and no gain in return?

Again, the Doctor's speech is its own can of worms, but arguably the biggest leap done there is jumping from guilt vs. shame to "to thy own self be true" arguments. When you think of the Master as a utilitarianist... it's Saxon who fell where he stood. He stood on the side of "This is a pointless endeavour and I reject pointless. And if I'm to become someone who goes for pointless, then I won't be myself anyway and I might as well die." Absolutely not the intended reading, but death of the author, baby.

[episodeoftv]

Prelims, Vote 1 of 8

The top 4 finales will move on to be included in the main bracket

Propaganda is under the cut, may include spoilers

Agent Carter - 2.10 Hollywood Ending

Just as Peggysous became canon, just as Jack is about to start his redemption arc, they cancelled the show and left all of us on a massive cliffhanger for, let's see, almost 8 years at this point. We need ANSWERS.

Daybreak - 1.10 FWASH-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

It was written as a cliffhanger for a second season that would never come, but it just felt flat. The one objective that our leading lad (Josh) had been chasing (saving Sam) was rendered pointless, because the moment the big bad was defeated she effectively declared herself the new big bad and everyone who wasn't a major character went 'hmmm, okay!' And accepted it! They didn't even address this all that well, just ended with a shot of the MCs looking shocked.

Doctor Who - 12.10 The Timeless Children

this finale is shit!! absolute ass! nothing happens in it for it to justify having such a cool name. the master captures the doctor, shows her a slideshow that amounts to ‘‘you’re adopted!! :)" doctor breaks out of her matrix prison thing by overloading it with memories when the matrix is The Supercomputer and it’s used to hold all memories of all time lords ever? you know, the species whove been doing their thing for a billion years and live up to 10,000 years? the doctors new memories should either already be there or make nary a dent in it. the doctor’s like ‘‘why would they do that! why would they lie?’’ girl they have been lying to you since forever. they killed you once. theyve tried to kill you so many times. they turned you into a fucked up anti time monster that one time. one of the doctors past past selves even told her it doesnt really matter!! what was even the point

Loki - 1.06 For All Time. Always.

The series was going downhill past Episode 3 tbh, but it really just was a load of crap only interested in setting up the multiverse

Tales of Arcadia - Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans

This finale undoes everything the show worked for. In order to give itself stakes it kills off a few characters, but in a way that only indirectly impacts the MCs (such as Jim's Mom's fiancé getting killed). Then, at the end of the special, the main character uses time travel to go back to the start of S1E01 and changed history so he never becomes the trollhunter. Instead he makes his next friend the trollhunter instead. In terms of anticipation it was not at all what anyone was anticipating. (I had assumed he'd go to the start of the special and defeat the titans without any casualties). Having undone time only he remembers the previous timestream and he makes no effort to engage with it outside of accepting his changeling principal far sooner.

Ted Lasso - 3.12 So Long, Farewell

This trash ass finale undid three seasons of character development for every single person involved (except Nate!). A long-distance parent returned "home" despite having no attachments besides his child and leaving behind his entire found family, an abused and neglected woman was left behind by the person who taught her she didn't deserve abuse and neglect, and two characters who spent the whole show learning to cooperate and care for each other got into a fistfight over the girl they both dated.

Torchwood - 3.05 Day Five

No propaganda submitted

[thechy-fychannel]

Do you have any thoughts on hameron? Like, did she genuinely love him or just wanted to fix him? Did he ever have feelings for her beyond thinking she's hot? What do you think about their "date"? Did she ever get over him? (Everytime I thought yes she did, she would do something like "I'm not in love with house" speech or her breakup speech with house in s6 so I'm not sure anymore)

such a great question!!!! I have lots of thoughts about them bc their relationship is both incredibly complicated and unfortunately simple. tbh I used to really dislike hameron and I still do when it comes to the early seasons, but I can also recognize that on some level, they really did love each other.

The unfortunately simple part of their situation is that they are both victims of the phenomenon of wanting someone who doesn't want you— because they don't want you. that's not all there is to it, but it's very much the basis of whatever was going on between them. cameron wanted house bc house didn't want her, she liked the challenge and the idea of being the person who could fix him. I always think about what house said to her in s1 about her working her pretty little ass off to become a doctor when she could've breezed through life on her pretty privilege. I think the same thing applies with house, she could have anyone she wanted easily, but she wanted to work her pretty little ass off to have him and fix him instead.

alternatively, house didn't really want her until she didn't want him anymore, or at least outwardly. once she left the team and was engaged to chase, his affection and longing for her became much more apparent and he even admitted on several occasions that he wanted her back. He missed her enough to admit it out loud which is huge for house, only to get hit with "I miss the job, I don't miss you." which was fully a lie, obviously. she was lying to herself bc she was engaged to chase and couldn't in good conscience admit that she missed a man she was in love with not all that long ago.

Even though they both fell for that cliche of wanting someone who didn't want them, I think their feelings for each other were very real. Neither of them loved each other for who they actually were, but they were both in love with an idea of what they could've been in a perfect world. She thought if she could fix him, they'd be perfect together. I think she left the team bc she accepted that there was no fixing him and the only way to start moving on was to not be around him 24/7.

I don't know if house was ever really in love with her, I think he was in love with the idea that she was in love with him, bc he wanted to be wanted and loved by someone as good as cameron. she saw the good in him, made him feel like maybe he wasn't all bad. that's what house was in love with and wanted once she wasn't around to shine her pretty, morally good eyes at him. I also think it's worth noting that house says cameron is just like his dad when it comes to morality and let's not forget the massive daddy issues this guy has, so I think that plays a role in his attraction to her. I think partially, he was driven to her in search of something he didn't get from his dad bc emotionally he connected the two of them (imagine having such bad daddy issues that you project it onto your female employee who is like almost 20 years younger than you??? insane.)

To answer your question about their date, I hated it. It was weird and awkward but I understand they were trying to do a spin on the whole "boss sexually harasses employee" trope, especially given that house has no problem sexually harassing his employees, cameron included. but what I do really like is the scene where he goes to her apartment and begs her to come back bc when has he ever done that for anyone else (besides his soulmate wilson)??? I think that scene alone told us that he had some type of feelings for her. It wasn't just a work thing, he could hire any pretty, smart doctor who will put up with his bs, but he wanted her. I'm not going as far as to say he was in love with her all the way back then, but I definitely think it proved that he had some type of feelings for her that made him really really pathetic about her. I think she recognized it too and that's why she made him go out on a date with her, bc she thought that romantic date setting would spark those feelings and start a fire, but it didn't. Ultimately, they were all types of wrong for each other and both knew it, but just because they knew that, didn't rly make the feelings go away, it just made them smart enough not to pursue it (kind of, cameron would've pursued it if house let her).

to answer your other question, no, I don't think she ever got over him. and it's a hard thing, bc when the divorce happened, I do believe a part of her hated house bc she blamed him for what chase did. she'd convinced herself that chase was different when in reality, I think she was only with chase because of how much he was like house. chase didn't kill that dictator because of house, it's who he was and it's what he was going to do regardless of house. I think that's why when chase asks her "did you ever really love me?" that she initially answers "I don't know" bc she never really knew whether she loved chase or she loved that chase was like house. but for so long, she convinced herself that chase was different and then he went and proved that he wasn't any different and she hated house for ruining the idea she had in her head of what their relationship was and ruining another relationship for her. being off his team wasn't enough anymore, she had to get far far away from him if she ever wanted to move on. But she came back for his funeral and I think that shows that she still had love for him, even if she wasn't in love with him.

thank you for the great question and letting me ramble my feelings to you!! feel free to ask anything bc I can go on and on and on about this dumb ass show indefinitely.

[starberry-cupcake]

GUESS WHO'S BACK IN THE HOUSE???

I don't know how frequent these will be but I'm gonna try to pick this back up now that, at the very least, I am done with having to read stuff for mandatory academic reasons.

But before I go back and start over with chapter 33, I'm going to do a little recap of where I think everyone was when I left them, as far as my own notes and my memory allow. I'm probably going to make less sense than before now that I had a 5 month hiatus and I'll probably guess even less of what's going on, but such is life.

This character recap should be read with this song in your head because that's the energy I picture.

she's going through it

doesn't remember shit

thinks ortus was her cavalier

is constantly targeted by alleged gideon aka ortus the first

who actually also told her how to defend herself from him (them? he said "us") (use blood, not bones, of course)

is seen as "lyctor lite" because her cavalier slurping thing "didn't work"

(we think this might be good because of gideon reasons)

improved her necro abilities to "make up" for it

can't really hold the sword

everyone expects her to die

I think she's stronger than they think and that's their mistake

sent letters to herself that she hasn't yet fully read

like I made these recaps that now I'm re-reading, life parallels

gave yandere twin her arm back with necro sex or something

is dealing with an inner chad who is as difficult in death as in life

misses her sister who she thinks is still alive

I also think she's alive

got a new arm through necro sex or something

is kinky as well as yandere

thinks too highly of augustine

wants to be a good lyctor

has issues with her self-perception because she was always the ignored twin, even if she had the necro abilities

sleeps in a room with a lot of nudes

wanted to kiss harrow but was rejected (the second time, the first time was some harrow conspiracy theory thing)

I hate this guy

is very bad at his job

or very good, if his job is to be awful

supposedly he's gonna be killed, but so far no results on that front

had a thing with ice cube barbie aka AL aka annabel lee, allegedly

undetermined what kind of "thing" that was

gets into orgies with his lyctors, apparently

is always reading stuff

has created a system to destroy planets and their energy

this has brought them issues

who would have thought

there are now energy things that are wanting to destroy them

they killed some but have, I believe, 3 still trailing them

claims that what they did was a good thing

doesn't take responsibility for things that are clearly his fault

isn't disturbed by harrow's origin story of baby blending in a necro magic bullet to make her

probably because he has committed genocide himself

is also being hated on by a bunch of rebels whose leader disappeared about 20 years prior

my running theory is that gideon's mom might be related to that

aka Senior Chad

don't like this guy

he's training yandere twin, if we can call it that

dislikes mercygirl a lot but isn't above getting dirty with her and the emperor

you can't convince me there weren't other ways they could have distracted him, but he went for that, so

wanted to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first

thinks too highly of himself

explains things in a convoluted way

is treated very poorly

can help people with wounds

thinks harrowcita is very smol and always claims her to be younger than the last time

was involved in the plan of getting emperor reverend doctor john Distracted with Capital D to get alleged gideon aka ortus the first killed

idk how much she knew of the plan before getting into it tbh there wasn't a lot of discussion prior

insists she's not moving not!dulcinea

argues with people all the time

his name is up for debate at this point but I'm sure it's actually gideon

may or may not be involved in things beyond the planet situation

seems to be sort of possessed or something because, in a moment of maybe lucidity or not wanted to protect harrowcita from "us"

maybe he's not the kind one, maybe it's his cavalier, but idk

is probably who the note in book 1 was referring to

wants to kill harrow to protect the emperor, apparently

was about to be killed by not!dulcinea (who doesn't get a section but is STILL wreaking havoc because nobody listens to me)

harrowcita saved his life like in toy story 3 with the incinerator

was seen doing Stuff with not!dulcinea prior to this

emperor john alluded that he may be aroace though

we stan him for that

doesn't get along with the rest

also we stan him for that

has been trying to kill harrowcita the whole time

we don't stan him for that

aka AL aka annabel lee, I think

it wasn't stated but that's what I'm going for

is the body that was in the locked tomb that harrowcita saw

but now is haunting harrow and going around with her but only she can see and hear her

her eyes though are like gideon's maybe

harrow claims to love her

she's also present in the gideon-less past we keep seeing as well

we don't know much about her but if the emperor imprisoned her, we're on her side

canaan house but with a lot of events differently set

starting with gideon not existing and ortus being harrow's cav

ortus is also in a polycule with the fifth

dulcinea is the real one in this one and protozoa is alive

regina george twin was pushed to her "death???" by mayonneise uncle, before he also threw himself

palmolive and camilla are dead in this one

the second house has 1 alive and 1 dead

abigail seems to know a lot of stuff

maybe hadn't she died immediately, book 1 would have been shorter

everyone keeps saying "is this how it happened?"

IT'S NOT

harrow reads a note only she can see that keeps getting longer about someone ranting to some guy and there's a potential triangle situation going on and also eggs

I'm thinking it might be a fertility thing but idk

there's a waker/sleeper that behaves like a slasher villain

it's hidden in a coffin nobody can open and kills with a rifle

it also has a gideon-like sword?

not sure how this connects with what's going on in the emperor's bolthole because not!dulcinea doesn't exist in this one, apparently

even though camilla is very much alive and slaying and palmolive is currently a skull in a bag, I'll leave that for the next recap once I've caught up with the entire chapter

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

I’m in love with oddduck - could I request a drabble with her having a bad day and Bruce comforting her (or even just sitting in the dark with her if she’s overwhelmed) it’s been a pretty hellish week tbh

Bruce glanced down at his phone and sighed as he dialed Clark, "Is there a reason Y/N isn't answering her phone?"

Clark paused typing and pulled up his texts, "She should be back from her book thing. She texted me and let me know she was home."

"Hn."

"Traveling sucks even when you're not a reclusive academic," Clark snorts. "There's a hide a key in her plants."

"What?"

"It's under the faerie house."

"That's not-"

Clark snorted at the frustration in Bruce's voice, "She keeps her books under a pretty hefty lock and key-"

"BUT NOT THE REST OF HER HOUSE?"

"Just let yourself in. Take out menus are on the fridge."

"What-"

Clark hung up the phone, full well knowing that Bruce was going to let himself in. He figured if Bruce was going to keep pushing this he needed to learn how to handle it when you were either deep in a rabbit hole or just didn't want to deal with anyone.

"That was mean," Lois pouted.

"That's life. If he's going to keep playing with her-"

"He kissed her you know."

"And?" he countered, raising an eyebrow. Lois kissed both Superman and Clark Kent in the same week before that all came to a head.

"Still mean."

______________

"Doctor?" Bruce shouldered the door open and looked around. In the front room, he could hear the TV on at low volume. Pausing to glance at the boards you had half assembled. He assumed you were doing... something. But he didn't know enough about how your thought process worked to make sense of it.

Something with a castle? And a language he wasn't sure he knew the origin of.

"In here."

"You just let people walk in?" Bruce asked, looking up from your boards and smiled a little. He'd never seen you look so... disheveled but it was adorable.

You shrug and rub your eyes with a too long sleeve. "Two people" you correct. "Sometimes four when Clark's parents are in town."

"You weren't answering your phone," Bruce said, moving slightly closer. Chuckling to himself when you look around confused, "You don't even know where it is?"

"I know it's in the house."

Bruce kissed your forehead and tugged the strings of your hoodie, "Hungry?"

"Don't you have a city to save?" you ask.

"Alfred and Dick said I need a night off.''

"Oh?"

"So," he hummed, tilting your chin up slowly. "I thought I'd see how your trip went."

"Oh."

"Too much?" he asked, sweeping hair out of your eyes.

"No I just-"

"Too much people, huh?" he asked, smiling a little. Nights after Galas were annoying. Too many people and too much talking.

"Way too many."

"Am I people?" he asked. He'd leave if it was too much. But he didn't want to. You looked sweet and cozy. And he'd love for you to explain the shambles on your conspiracy board.

"I can handle one people, I think."

"Hungry?" he asked, smiling a little when you look like you're considering it.

"Starving, can you hand me that box?"

[whumpbug]

Okay okay, I have to ask

What is the #1 WORST injury Archie has ever sustained? Was it before or after Simon became his personal nurse? How did he survive? If Simon was there, how scared was he? How scared was 𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦?

oh god. this is such a good question.....i had to think about this one a LOT but i finally got an idea for the situation. i'm gonna say this was after simon was archie's personal nurse and when they were already a bit more comfortable with eachother and very close

i might write this as a fic one day tbh but i fear my medical knowledge isnt THAT good to describe the injury in the detail i would want.

slightly long post under the cut!!!

cw: very slightly graphic description of a gunshot wound and blood

✮⋆˙

the worst part about it was that it wasn't even by some notorious criminal or drug lord. it was just a random mugger.

archie had been patrolling late at night when he saw a woman getting mugged while she was walking home alone.

the guy didn't look too experienced. he looked a little young and panicked, and archie figured he would try to talk him down before throwing any punches

he kept the guys attention on him, and consquently, the gun pointed at him as well. was it a little reckless? sure, but he just didn't want to put the woman in danger.

he was almost certain the guy was too scared to actually shoot.

he was doing his best to keep both the mugger and the woman calm, and he had almost fully deescalated the situation when the woman's panic reached its peak, and she suddenly jerked out of the guys grasp and started RUNNING.

the mugger got so startled that he pulled the trigger. practically point-blank into archie's chest.

he took off running as well, throwing the gun down and booking it to try and Not get arrested.

and that left archie, blood pouring from the gaping wound in his chest, staggering to conceal himself in an alleyway.

he knew something was wrong. he felt dizzy and out of breath and his entire body was shaking and he just. i feel like his intuition knew it was more serious that a simple little gunshot wound. he knew that if he didn't get help fast, he was going to die. and he was terrified.

he called simon.

simon rushed over, of course, quite literally shaking because archie only ever called simon to the field in the middle of the night when things were bad.

he had never driven so fast in his life.

when he arrived, archie was slumped over, hands clutching at the wound, and he was gasping for air.

this was. abnormal.

usual symptoms for blood loss were things like confusion, lethargy, weak and shallow breathing, but gasping? blue-tinged skin? Not Normal.

just one look at where the wound was and simon knew what likely had happened.

archie's lung was collapsing.

this was the first, and only time simon ever broke the no hospital rule.

archie is very strict on the no hopsital rule unless he can change into civilian clothing first because he really does NOT want his identity revealed. simon hates this rule, but he respects it because 1) there hasn't really been a situation he hasn't been able to handle yet and 2) archie was so very adamant and simon had never seen him so serious about something

but in this moment, simon did not care about the damn rule or his identity or anything. he just needed archie to be okay. so to the hopsital they went. if you thought simon was driving fast before, think again.

this is also one of the first times simon was crying while panicking. usually, he panicked a bit, steadied himself, dealt with the situation, then could deal with his emotions later.

but this time, he couldn't keep from sobbing as he drove archie to the hospital because he's a med student. he knows death. he knows the look people get in their eyes when they know they aren't going to make it and seeing that in archie's eyes? simon fought sobs the entire drive to the hospital.

luckily, the doctors didn't ask too many questions as it was an emergency, and treated archie right away.

archie ended up needing to stay for 2 days. they had to place a chest tube to help the air escape from his pleural cavity, and he was out of it for a lot of it. simon stayed by his side the entire time, holding his hand for dear life and gently shushing and reassuring him when the sight of the literal tube in his chest started freaking him out.

simon didn't get a wink of sleep. he stayed up, even when archie was asleep, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. he tried not to think how close he came to losing him. i definitely think simon gained a few gray hairs that day.

but archie was also equally as terrified. nothing is worse than the feeling of your lungs literally getting smaller with every single breath you take. archie was so sure he was going to die, so when he woke up in a hospital bed with his favorite person by his side? the relief was dizzying.

so yeah! archie is fine guys. CLEARLY. he has the little scar from the tube and the Trauma, but ended up otherwise unscathed.

✮⋆˙

this was so sad to answer but also. so very fun to emotional whump these guys yet again. TECHNICALLY this might not even be archie's worst injury because i have a vague idea for him in the FAR future but its still so vague so thats why i didn't include it. i hope this answer will suffice!!! thank you so much anon!!!