#she was taking him there for a chat

[cinemaocd]

the internet is weird...I just found the house on zillow where my grandparents lived when my grandmother was so desperate she almost aborted my father...

[cassandracain52]

Reverse trope

where instead of the Bats forgetting that they’re adopted (something actual adoptees do on occasion and is hilarious) they forget that some of them *cough Damian cough* aren’t

_______

Jason in the heat of a probably ridiculous argument: Yeah well YOU’RE adopted!

Tim just as invested in said argument: So are YOU! We all are!

Damian who had previously been quietly watching this unfold while he drank his tea: Actually I’m not

Tim and Jason who didn’t realize he was there but are already DoneTM: …… Damian continuing to sip his tea entirely unbothered: :)

Damian: Because I’m not an orphan-

Jason: ok, yoU KNOW WHAT-

____

or like in their group texts (that we know they have thanks to Nightwing (2016) #79)

*Steph changed the group chat name to “Bruce Wayne’s Personal Orpanage”*

Jason: Really?

Steph: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Steph: It’s the truth Damian: Both my parents are very much alive

Steph: Shhh you don’t count

Cass: Mine too Duke: Technically so are mine

Barbara: I still have a dad so there’s that

Steph: YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE JOKE

Tim: Stephanie aren’t BOTH of your parents alive???

Steph: KNOW WHAT? FINE

*Steph changed the group chat name to “The Technicality Police”*

Tim: well that’s more accurate at least

Steph: :)

_____

Damian in his 10th argument with Tim of the day: That’s- this is-

Tim in full Antagonizing Big Brother mode: I’m listening

Damian -a Gen Z and best friend to Jon Kent- extremely frustrated: This is such Motherless behavior!

Tim taken aback: [voice cracking] W-what-?

Damian who didn’t mean to say that but doubling down anyway because his bloodline doesn’t believe in admitting mistakes: THIS! This is such Motherless behavior!

The rest of the family who is also motherless: :O

Cass whose been spending way too much time with Meme Queen Stephanie Brown and not involved in the argument but finding it entertaining regardless: [nodding along seriously] Facts

Tim: [visibly betrayed] CASS WHAT-

A video copy of the interaction gets sent out anonymously to the entire family. Barbara is the prime suspect but there is no proof as of yet (and they will never find any)

Steph, Cass, and Duke continue to respond “Motherless behavior” everytime one of the bats does something they deem questionable/insane. It is said often

It only stops when one night in the middle of patrol. Batman is in full Dark Knight mode (possibly in the middle of threatening someone) and descends from the ceiling into the middle of a warehouse drug deal, dark cape billowing out behind him-

and Steph just automatically whispers “Motherless behavior” forgetting her com was still very much on

She immediately realizes what she said and frantically apologizes but it’s too late.

Bruce just- Blue Screens. Completely stunned into silence

Dick -who was unfortunate enough to be the one teamed up with Batman tonight- is fighting for his life to choke back his laughter

Jason doesn’t even try to stop his and has collapsed to his knees from lack of air from how hard he’s laughing. Cass try’s half heartedly patting his back to help to no avail

The criminals are terrified into surrender from The Red Hood just laughing hysterically at seemingly nothing while Batman just Stands There

Damian ends up being the only one still functioning enough to continue arresting everyone, though he is privately amused and strangely proud

Tim and Barbara have saved both the com recordings and cowl footage to at least three different servers and sent it to absolutely everyone before Batman even recovers

Duke finds out second hand the next morning and is furious he missed the chance to see it in person. He declares he is moving to the nightshift so it doesn’t happen again. (He is all talk and goes to bed by 9 pm)

Bruce bans the phrase for life and promises swift and server punishment to anyone who dares to use it again

[choccy-milky]

the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO

1 like = 1 prayer

[critter-covenant]

"ooooh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!"

They'd be good friends I like to thinmk

[valentinafoxr]

I need to see Adrien with the Fox Miraculous so bad. I just think it would be interesting to see the master of pretending with the power to create illusions. Maybe even have a little fun with it. Idk maybe Alya has to leave the city for a while and leaves Marinette with the necklace. But then something happens and Ladybug needs someone who can create an illusion for her and Alya is not there and she is panicking, and all her friends already have a Miraculous and she needs someone she can trust, especially with the fox— and then she’s like hey. I have a boyfriend. A very brave and very smart boyfriend. And maybe giving him a Miraculous didn’t work out before but the third times the charm right?? obviously Felix pretending to be Adrien is no longer a problem and she probably thinks she’s less blinded by her love now that they’re in a relationship (wrong). So she goes to Adrien, reluctant but also a little excited, and she swings through his window JUST as he’s about to transform into Chat Noir. She gives him the necklace and he’s like ummmmm Ladybug I don’t think that’s a good idea. And she’s like NO it’s a PERFECT idea you’re PERFECT for this and he tries to deflect so HARD because he knows how badly this could end and if he learned one thing from fighting Desperada it’s that Chat Noir might be needed (maybe he even suggests Ladybug offer the Fox to Marinette instead and she has to make up a stupid excuse herself) but she insists and just LEAVES him with the necklace and he sighs because his partner is so. stubborn. Adrien has no choice but to use the necklace because he can’t let Ladybug down. Maybe he unifies the Miraculi and becomes a black fox, maybe he switches between the fox and the cat during the battle, either way he creates an illusion of Chat Noir and Adrifox interacting so that no one suspects a thing. You could even throw in Ladybug awkwardly flirting with Adrien mid-battle before she realises HE DOESN’T KNOW SHE’S MARINETTE and Adrien is very confused. The last time his lady acted like this was when Mister Bug was around.

It’s all a huge mess but he manages to make it work and returns the Miraculous to a flustered but happy Ladybug who announces that she might keep him in mind as a backup holder should one of the permanent holders be unavailable at some point and Adrien is like oh :)) great :))) and lets out the biggest sigh ever as she swings away. Next time he sees Alya in school she’s like soooo I heard Ladybug tried to replace me with a blond pretty boy ;)) and Marinette chokes on her drink and Adrien buries his head in his hands. The next time Ladybug seeks him out he fakes a sudden and terrible illness so he doesn’t have to go through this again

[merakiui]

Absolutely love the possessive ex Scaramouche ramble in tags, please feed us more of that.

Gladly!! :D

(cw: yandere, extremely toxic ex scara, modern au, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stalking, coercion, obsession, forced marriage, violent/suicidal threats, manipulation, mentions of intoxication/alcohol, implied self-harm)

The two of you were what everyone calls ‘high school sweethearts.’ You met him in the cafeteria when the both of you were first years. Despite the scowl etched on his face, he looked lonely sitting all by himself while everyone was finding tables, old and new friends gathering in groups. He’d ignored you, even scooting further away when you’d attempt to move closer. Even though he seemed so averse to you, you remained, silently eating your lunch. Neither of you said anything, but you did introduce yourself. He scoffed under his breath.

You started to sit next to him for every lunch, and he continued to give you the silent treatment. You never pressed him for conversation, instead choosing to enjoy silence while you ate and admired him from the sidelines. He never looked at you, always facing forwards and toying with his chopsticks, bending them so far until they were ready to snap. Eventually, he seemed to grow accustomed to this routine because many weeks into the semester he turned to address you.

“Why do you always sit by me? Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”

“Maybe. But I don’t think anyone’s as mysterious as you are.”

“‘Mysterious…’ Yeah, whatever.”

That seemed to be the catalyst because, as sardonic as he was, he’d begun talking to you. And it wasn’t long until he started to warm up to you every lunch until the both of you were exchanging lighthearted banter. Your friendship would only grow from this point onwards until, at the end of your first year during a study session to prepare for finals, where you were both pulling an all-nighter at your house, he’d asked you out. And you said yes, and the both of you had gone from best friends to lovers within the span of a year. The both of you were each other’s first partner, so it made doing things as a couple even more exciting because neither of you had any experience with dates or holding hands or kissing.

Kuni wasn’t a bad boyfriend. In fact, he was very loyal and sweet. He’d stand up for you if anyone was being rude to you or scrutinizing your relationship with hateful eyes. The two of you were nearly inseparable. When you weren’t spending time together in school, you were out doing things together. And when you couldn’t meet up in person, you’d text or call, sometimes talking late into the evening about all sorts of things. You were so immersed in him that you failed to notice the red flags slowly raising over time. But looking back there were a few notable ones.

He never invited you to his house. In fact, you’d never even met his parents, whereas he’d been to your home so often that your family practically became his own. He hadn’t mentioned anything about his family, and if you tried to suggest going to his house for dinner so that he could introduce you to them he was quick to change the subject. For a while you’d push this, more curious than concerned, but eventually you’d drop it when it became clear that he wasn’t going to divulge anything on the matter. That had stung, but you snuffed those feelings in favor of focusing on other aspects of your relationship.

The second red flag was just how clingy he became when the both of you were in your third year, having been together for two solid years. You never noticed it before because you loved him, but when friends had pointed out how attached he seemed—and it was to rather unhealthy levels, according to their observations—to the point where you were the only person he’d ever formed a bond with while at school you started to see the cracks in what felt like the perfect relationship. He’d text you every single day, at every single hour, all the time. He’d call you nonstop, even more so when you didn’t immediately pick up.

The third red flag coincided with the second. When you couldn’t make it to your phone, he was quick to blame himself and those around him for being responsible for your deteriorating relationship. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Did those guys bother you again? They probably told you some stupid shit about me, right? Don’t listen to them. Hey, you’re not mad, right? Call me back. I need to talk to you. Just text me when you can, okay? (Name), please don’t leave me. I’ll fix whatever’s wrong. Just promise you’ll stay. Messages of these kinds were what you could expect to receive from him. He’d fluctuate between self-loathing to loathing those around him within seconds, shoving blame onto classmates who’d bully him for being that “weird emo kid with too many piercings” and anyone else who tried to, in his words, “come between you and me.”

By the end of your third year, you started to fall out of love. He was so very dedicated to this relationship, evidenced by how much effort and care he’d put into it, but his clingy behavior was stifling. You’d lost some of your own friends because he chased them away, and it felt like you couldn’t do anything without him breathing down your neck. If you wanted to go anywhere with a friend or two, Kuni had to be there to accompany you. If you looked at another for too long, he’d think you were cheating. If you didn’t text or call him at certain times, if you failed to pick up, or—Archons forbid—you left him on seen, he’d spiral.

Kuni had this habit of sounding dangerously self-destructive when he feared you were being unfaithful or he thought you were going to break up with him, which meant you’d have to sit on the phone for hours convincing him that you loved him, that you’d never leave him, that you’d always be here for him, that you were sorry for not responding, that he needs to calm down and please, please, please don’t do anything rash. Those phone calls were always so stressful. You cried a lot; you’d beg him to put the knife away when he’d threaten to use it on himself, on you, on anyone who might try to take you from him. And, after a few hours of this, he’d be back to his usual self, as if a switch had been flipped. You could hear his adoring smile in his voice when he spoke, when he’d lovingly whisper into the phone, “I’m happy you’re mine. I love you so much.” And you’d shakily parrot the affirmation, too frazzled to say or do anything else.

One of your best friends Rosalyne, who you’d befriended in the midst of all of this, had been so supportive the minute you spilled the truth to her. Kuni hated her the most because she wasn’t afraid of him. Because she’d shut him down when he tried to pull you away from her. Because she wouldn’t approve of any of his toxicity. Rosalyne would take you on shopping sprees, brunch dates, and jogs at the local park. She was plenty of good to outshine Kuni’s bad, and the more time you spent with her the clearer your head would become. The both of you had plenty of sleepovers together, and she let you rant your heart out while she listened. She’d tell you to break up with him, but you’d agonized over how terrifying that would be. You couldn’t bear to tell Kuni the truth—that you wanted to separate because things had turned so rotten—because you were so scared. Scared of him and what he might do.

Scared that if he really did take a blade to himself it would be your fault. He told you that a lot. That it would be your fault if he did anything. That his blood would be on your hands. You believed him every time.

By your final year, you’d already had a plan for university outlined and you’d started applying to a few in advance. You never told Kuni about any of them because you worried he might apply to each one in hopes of going to the same school as you. And when there was the dance for the graduating class and Kuni had asked you to it, you’d told him you were going with Rosalyne and a few other friends as a group. He didn’t like this, as expected, but you’d been so sick of him and his behaviors that you snapped and spilled everything to him. You’ll never forget the look on his face when you told him that you were done with the relationship and that you never wanted to see him again.

He looked as if he could lunge at you and tear you to bloody ribbons at any moment.

You graduated single and so very refreshed, and your summer had been filled with friends. Kuni didn’t message you at all, which was surprising considering you were certain he’d spam you relentlessly after the break-up. But he never did. In fact, you never saw him again. Graduation had come and gone, and now that you could recover from such a terrible relationship he was becoming less of a burden for you. For a while you were anxious. You kept expecting to receive a phone call or to see some news about Kuni, but neither ever came. Rosalyne told you to stop thinking about him. It would only make you even more paranoid and that wouldn’t do your mental health any good. You were so grateful to have her in your life, but most importantly you were glad Kuni failed to scare her away.

Now you’re a second year in college and things have only gotten so much better for you. You and Rosalyne still keep in touch despite going to different schools. She’d gone to a university in Snezhnaya, while you enrolled in one in Sumeru, and you’ve blotted Kuni from your mind. You’ve made a fresh group of friends while attending classes: criminal justice major Shikanoin Heizou, creative writing major Kaedehara Kazuha, musical therapy major Venti, botany major Tighnari, and so many more wonderful people who have all welcomed you into their circles.

So when Venti drags a familiar face to your usual weekend outing, which is really just a retreat to the forest for drinking and smoking, creeping cold settles into your bones. He looks awkward with Venti’s arm slung around him as the more bubbly of the two drags him towards the bonfire, where you sit with the others roasting marshmallows for s’mores, and it’s a look that is so uncharacteristic on him. What’s even weirder is how friendly everyone greets him—as if they all know him—and you’re completely lost when they turn to you and ask if you’ve met Kunikuzushi.

“No,” you lie through your teeth, forcing a pleasant smile and extending your hand for a stiff handshake, which Venti snickers at. “No, I’ve never met him before.”

Apparently, he’s in one of Venti’s classes—it’s a course he’s taking solely because he needs the credits. Tighnari knows him because they usually work the same shifts at the campus café. Kazuha knows him from his linguistics and philosophy classes. Heizou’s ate with him in the dining hall plenty of times now and they’re also taking the same psychology class. It feels so genuine and yet so fake at the same time. Too perfectly manufactured to be a mere coincidence. But you do your best to push past these suspicions, and when he sits across from you, smiling at you and saying how nice it is to meet you, the warping flames paint his face in devilish shadows. That’s what you think he is when he acts like a completely different person from how he was when you dated: a devil who’s good at being kind and outgoing, noisy and abrupt, and always so foul-mouthed, but in a way that makes him charming. Your friends are so enthralled. They love him and his sense of humor. They love his quick wit. They love how fun he is. And suddenly weekends spent in the forest aren’t so enjoyable.

You do your best to overcome your doubts. For a few months you’re on edge. How he even found you is a mystery. Surely he wouldn’t stalk you and enroll in the same college just to get revenge or…whatever vengeance he wants from you. But when he treats you to coffee, when he brings you and the others pastries every other morning, when he invites the lot of you to study at the library, when he tells the funniest stories while crossed and everyone’s giggling like schoolgirls it really feels like he’s…healthier. Like he’s turned a fresh page in his life and is starting anew. Like he’s changed for the better.

Perhaps he just doesn’t remember you. You’ve changed your style over the years, so it’s possible he’s simply forgotten your image and can’t place memories to your name. Eventually, after soothing yourself with these theories, you begin to accept his presence in the group. He fits in so flawlessly, as if he’s a missing piece to the puzzle, and you can’t believe you’re admitting this, but you like this version of Kuni. He’s confident, not cocky. He’s kind, not rude. He gives everyone space. In fact, he rarely texts frequently in the group chat. And he’s funny! He’s so funny. You don’t think the Kuni from your past was ever as funny as the Kuni who regales everyone with lighthearted stories of how he once took in a stray cat that turned out to belong to his neighbor or how his old job had the strangest customers.

Maybe he truly did change. Maybe all of these coincidences really are coincidences. Maybe it’s for the best that you leave the past in the past.

Finals season looms, and the group hasn’t had time to meet up outside of class. Venti has tried to persuade everyone to come study at his apartment. His roommate won’t care (yes, he will. Xiao hates it when everyone gets blackout drunk and he has to wake everyone come morning), but if you’ve known Venti long enough you’ll know there is no studying that happens at these study sessions. This is probably the reason why he’s had to repeat a year.

With everyone’s schedules packed with academics, it’s difficult to find a time where everyone can get together to study. You think you might just be better off studying on your own, but Kuni’s message of you wanna pull an all-nighter for these lame af finals together?? accompanied with a photo of snacks and coffee, any thoughts of studying alone instantly vanish.

This is how you find yourself in his dorm, sprawled on his bed while he sits on the floor, whacking your dangling feet when they get too close to him. His roommate Albedo is currently out tutoring a few students at the library and won’t be back until much later, so it’s just you, Kuni, and a pile of textbooks and notes. You’ve hung out with Kuni a few times and he was great company during each. You’ve also fallen asleep in his dorm before, when you’d come over to binge a show the both of you enjoy, and you’d lost track of time and had slipped into a dream halfway through the marathon. You’d woken the next morning with Kuni looming over you, grinning deviously and holding an uncapped marker. He’d leaned down and whispered, “You drool in your sleep,” and you’d swatted at him and groused about how you were sleeping so peacefully when he just had to ruin your sleep (and your face) with his antics. And then there was that time when you were so drunk at that one party and you could hardly stand, he’d been there to help. He even stayed with you for the rest of that night, offering his assistance when you became nauseous or needed water or a snack until you passed out.

Despite your initial apprehensions, you consider him a friend. He’s no one nearly as close as Rosalyne or your other friends. He’s just a mutual friend, someone you’ll spend time with when you feel like it, but you don’t truly need him in your life. That, and part of you still struggles to trust him after all of the stress and unhealthy obsession he subjected you to.

“Kuni,” you whine, lifting your head from the textbook. “Can you get me some water? I’m thirsty.”

“Do I look like your maid?” he snaps, immersed in organizing his notes. “Get it yourself.”

“I’m picturing it now and you’re in a frilly dress and—”

“Forget I asked.” Setting his notebook down with an exaggerated sigh, he crosses the distance to the mini fridge and withdraws a bottle of water.

Grinning, you slide off of his bed and reach for it with a grateful hum. He smirks and takes a step back, holding it away from you.

“Seriously…”

Rolling your eyes, you lunge for it and he side-steps you with the practiced grace of a cat. You brace yourself against the wall and swipe at him. Again, he dodges, unscrewing the cap and shaking the bottle teasingly.

“I think I’ll take a sip for myself. All of this studying has left me so parched.”

“No fair! That’s mine!”

“Is it?” He pulls it away from his lips to observe the bottle and feigns surprise. “That’s weird. I don’t see your name on it.”

“Look closer!” you exclaim, but just as he’s about to humor you you pounce, tackling him to the ground—there’s a beanbag cushion that breaks your fall—and the water spills all over the both of you in the midst of the tumble. A slew of colorful words stick in Kuni’s throat and your laughter rings out melodiously. You seize his wrist and hold it down while reaching for the bottle in his other hand, where there’s still some water left. He struggles halfheartedly, relinquishing the bottle with a disinterested scoff, and you pull away from him to down what’s left.

While crushing the plastic bottle into a ball, you notice something on your palm—the palm that had grabbed Kuni’s wrist—and it takes a minute before the skin tone-colored substance registers in your mind.

Concealer.

You peer at him and notice that he’s cradling his arm, and confusion sprouts.

“So funny,” he spits with a hollow laugh. “You owe me a new beanbag if this one’s ruined.”

“Hey, hold on. What’s with the—”

“Forget it. You got your water, so let’s get back to studying. Or do you no longer want to be a perfect student?”

Without thinking, you grab his arm as he’s standing and when you look at his forearm you can see where the water’s started to wash the concealer away. Curiously, you scrub at it while he tries to yank his arm away, but when you unearth a dozen scars littering his wrist and climbing the length of his arm that creeping cold from before returns.

And suddenly you’re brought back to those phone calls—the ones where he’d threaten suicide and murder—and you stumble back as if you’ve been burned, half-expecting to hear those threats once more. Kuni’s staring at his wrist, his features twisted in grim disapproval, and for a moment you think he looks…hurt. Or maybe that’s sadness you see. Whatever emotion it was, it doesn’t linger because a quiet chuckle slips past his lips, and the sound is so very frigid it has your blood crystallizing.

“It really hurt when you said you never wanted to see me again.” Kuni peers down at you, and his eyes that had once been so bright and filled with light are dull and dark. “But nothing hurts more than loving you.”

You open your mouth to say something—anything—but the words won’t come. You’re rooted to the ground, horror slinking through your body and rendering you immovable. Your heart is in your throat, pounding so loudly it’s practically a drum, and a cold sweat washes over you.

“Each time I found myself hating you, I thought it was odd because I love you so much. I can’t possibly hate the one I’ve loved all this time.” He scowls. “But loving you hurts. Loving you feels like chewing glass and drinking poison. Loving you isn’t fair because while you moved forward with your ‘friends,’ I was forced to stay behind and pick up the pieces of what was left of you. So for every moment I couldn’t stand you, I tallied it on myself so that I’ll never forget the times I loved you so much I hated you.”

This can’t be happening, you’re thinking, curling your hands into trembling fists. He changed. He changed, right? This isn’t the same Kuni from before. This isn’t…

“And when I saw how well you seemed to be doing without me, I hated you even more.” Without warning, he’s grabbed your arm and hoisted you up. You open your mouth to scream, but no sound comes—not that anything could when he’s pulled a switchblade from his pocket and poised the pointed tip at your jugular. “You have poor taste in friends. Those guys suck.”

Tutting, he shakes his head at you like a parent might when scolding a child, and says, “Do you know how fucking tiring it was pretending? You think I care about pastries and stupid campfire stories? You really think I’d ever want to associate myself with that sorry lot?”

“K-Kuni, please let go of me. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were—I’m sorry. So please just…”

“And then the first time you see me after all these years apart and you had the gall to lie to my face! ‘I’ve never met him before.’ Bullshit. You just didn’t want any of your loser friends to know our history, right? Because you’re ashamed to have known me, right?”

“That’s not it! I… I was just—I didn’t… I was… I just…”

“I… I… I…” he mocks, shoving you down onto the beanbag. It dips under the sudden weight, and you sink further into it when he points the blade at you. “Stop tripping over your tongue. I should be the one near tears! You cast me aside and then forgot all about me. You abandoned me when I needed you most.” His voice cracks at that last sentence, and your heart skips erratically.

“That’s not what happened! We needed space. I needed space. You were being too—” You stop yourself, unsure of how to phrase it. Too controlling? Too dangerous? Too scary?

“Lucky for you, I’m willing to overlook these past...slights.” The blade twirls effortlessly in his grasp, and you heave a relieved breath when he’s no longer pointing it in your direction. “Marry me and we’ll forget all about the past. We’ll start over.”

His demand almost stops your heart altogether. You stare up at him, mouth agape, and mumble a disbelieving, “What?”

“You heard me.” He seems to soften with his next words, and for a moment he looks and sounds like the Kuni who hangs out with you and your friends. The harmlessly fun Kuni who always takes such good care of you. “You’re the only one I’ll ever love, so let’s get married.”

“K-Kuni, I can’t... I really can’t...”

Within seconds the blade has found itself on his wrist, pressing into delicate flesh. Not enough to cut, but if he applies more force you’ll definitely see blood. You choke on a horrified gasp.

“What was that?” He raises his brow at you, challenging you with a calm smile.

Your mind reels in an effort to conjure a plan. What can you even do? If you take the blade from him, will he turn his anger on you? Will you have to wrestle him into submission? And if you do manage to get out of his dorm, will anyone believe you? He’s painted himself in such a pleasant light. Your friends love and trust him! So what can you say? And if there isn’t any solid proof, no one will even entertain bringing the authorities into this mess.

“I’m waiting, (Name). Are you really going to make me add another tally? Do you really want me to hate you again? Oh, but maybe I should start marking you! We can add a slice for each time you failed to love me. That way we’ll both look like used cutting boards.”

You need help, you want to say, but the words escape you.

Instead, you nod hastily and say breathlessly, “Okay, yes! I’ll marry you!” Swallowing your horror, you glance at the blade as it’s lifted from his skin. Thankfully, there isn’t a cut. “I... I’ll marry you, Kuni. So... So please don’t hurt yourself. Please.”

It feels like you’ve been strangled for an eternity, so when he finally pockets the blade the air in your lungs returns and you collapse against the beanbag, chest rising and falling in short, panicked breaths. 

“Good.” He bends down to your height, grips your chin with cold fingers, and forces you to meet his adoring stare. “We’ll look at rings tomorrow. Or maybe you’d prefer bracelets instead? I can be flexible but only for you, so you’d better be grateful.”

You swallow rising bile and nod. “T-Thank you.” You’re not sure why you’re thanking him when he hardly deserves it, but it feels like the right thing to say to ease the tension.

Kuni’s eyes sparkle, no longer a void of endless darkness, and when he leans in to capture your lips in his your heart sinks. You really can’t run from your past, can you?

[iilmunchkiin]

Just saw an absolutely amazing post that convinced me that Ceroba would be the one who confesses first.

(op turned turned off reblogs unfortunately so I'm making this post (┬┬﹏┬┬)) ("Just put the link to the post here-" No, you absolute buffoon, they turned it off for a reason and I'm going to respect that) (also potential rambling?? again??) (future LM here, yep there is alot of rambling. this was supposed to be a character analysis but I accidentally made a fic halfway LMAOAOAOAOAOA )

god I'm a sucker for slow burn and angst (duh, you all know that) I used to think that Starlo wouldn't be able to take it anymore and finally get the balls to confess to her, he goes up to her and it'll be the usual cheesy but wholesome moment with him nervously laughing, Ceroba getting surprised so she turns away while brushing off some hair that got on her face, Starlo sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and stuttering to get the words out. It'll all be planned of course he's a gentleman, he's just so stupidly nice and understanding that if Ceroba just flat out tells him "I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" I just know he's going to smile and tell her it's okay and he'd still be there for her and it won't affect their friendship at all and he's going to stay by her side de jashdkahsd sorry the brainworms are doing the thing again.

Of course the idea of Ceroba confessing first also came into my mind, her realizing she's in love with Starlo but now has to fight the guilt thinking that she's "betraying/cheating on Chujin" made the little angsty gremlin in me giggle but I just preferred it would be Starlo who breaks the ice just for shittles and giggles (I like seeing him get all blushy and shy HIHIHIHIH). Also adding the fact that Ceroba DID consider getting together with him but she brushes it off cuz she thinks he's still too immature. (Yes I am aware Ceroba acknowledges Starlo growing up in True Pacifist but I didn't give it that much thought I was in delulu land)

But then I saw the post and ho h my god oh my goddddddd.....

I was a fool

Starlo is aware of what Ceroba has gone through and as her childhood best friend he would respect her and not risk overwhelming her with a confession cuz OF COURSE HE WOULDNT, and if he DID consider confessing it would be YEARS after the whole "Clover-sacrificing-themselves-for-the-futue-of-monsterkind" ordeal but he would have probably fallen out of love at this point and it would go

⭐: "OH YEAH btw I had a crush on you when we were kids" 🦊: "HUH"

(not dismissing the chance he could still be in love with her despite that I mean he's dedicated and loyal and so damn devoted to her it makes sense, it was just had a funny thought giggles)

But then after reading the post, it reopened the idea of Ceroba confessing first and... oh my god it was glorious. It would start small, thinking he looked nice one day, subconsciously gazing at him and adoring him at the distance as he talks his usual nonsense at the saloon with the feisty 5, wanting to hang out with him a little more than usual, until it slowly builds up over time. She starts noticing the little things about him, his wide smile, the sound of his voice and the laughter he makes when he does his usual shenanigans with her in post-pacifist where things are starting to get brighter as they heal together, she would call him an idiot but god he would just smile at her again and the little dimples on the sides of his face would make her melt without knowing and she swears she felt her face get warm but brushes it off, thinking it's nothing. But that's where the snowball keeps getting bigger, she would see him talking to the folk again at the saloon and wish it was her he was laughing with, she'll quickly snap out of it, shake her head a little and think about how weird it was for her to have thought about that. She'd find herself beaming when he calls her name and feel so stupid for doing so, "Why am I so happy all of a sudden? He says my name all the time..."

And the snowball finally crashes when they have one of those talks, y'know the ones where you usually have at 3 am with your friends? Just talking about life in general, talking about the future, what are each of them scared of, what they feel and what they think about things, just being so vulnerable and open with each other. They've had their fair share of these talks but today was different. He looked absolutely stunning, despite being mentally exhausted he still looked divine, the way his eyes droop when his expression softens, the slow rise and fall of his chest when he sighs, his wide glistening smile turning into a small and soft curl on his lips. She can't help herself but make subtle touches and discreetly brush her shoulder against his as they lean towards the railings of the balcony, fighting the urge to just reach out and figure out small ways to make contact with him. She gazes at him the entire time, analyzing him, noticing all the little changes he makes, why can't she look away? She can't, she tried, so many times but it still ends up with her looking at him again trying to burn the image of him in her mind, wanting to leave it there forever. When the talk comes to a close, he turns to her and offers a hug, she accepts it and the moment he melts into her arms, she feels a sudden warmth on her chest and it instantly scatters around her entire body, enveloping her. They share each other's warmth, she slowly buries her face onto his shoulder, cherishing this small moment with him as they hold each other tight in each other's embrace. She's closing her eyes, inhaling his scent, it feels like she's in a dream, she doesn't want this moment to end, she doesn't wanna wake up just yet but.... They break a part, he gives her his goodbyes. As she goes home she lays in bed, face up, staring at the ceiling as she recalls everything that happened to her, putting pieces of the puzzle together as she finally comes to terms with herself and gets hit with the realization. It all comes crashing down to her, her eyes widen and she lets out an audible groan. She lays in silence for a moment, feeling absolute agony for being so stupid, she peaks through her fingers and looks back up the ceiling again, "Fuck..."

I haven't even dabbled with what goes on in her head after she accepts this fact, the sudden guilt consuming her, feeling like she betrayed Chujin, the person she loved with her entire soul only to fall for another. She hates it. And if she confesses she's going to be a wreck and Starlo just instantly goes to comfort her, telling her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to confess to h- No. She wants this, she's absolutely in love, he may have fallen first but she fell even harder, but with so much conflict in her mind, wanting to hold his hand without the weight on her shoulders pulling her back. The entire time they're together, Starlo finds the time to console her, comfort her, feeling horrible for making him stay up late just for her but he says he doesn't mind and he himself wants this, feeling absolutely honored to have her in her arms and that she trusts him so much that she's just so open and vulnerable and he's being so kind and patient to her I hate them I HATE THEM I FFUCKING HATE THUEJN R F FUCK FUCKF FFIFUUCJCC N I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

thE SLOW BURN IS SO SLOW BUT KEEP UP AND SET THE KITCHEN IN FLAMES PLEASE RAUGHHH

SAVE ME STAROBA W AS SAV VE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

TL;DR: uhhhh read a post and it convinced me that Ceroba slowly falls in love with Starlo over time without realizing it and when she finally does she feels really guilty cuz it feels like she's betraying Chujin, the slow burning is burning and the angst is scrumptious. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. /j

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

DPxDC media story prompt

Okay first off, this sort of thing has been done before, but here’s a different version involving Jazz Fenton.

Popular in DPxDC fanfic is that the GIW have a media blackouts—or whiteouts, there’s kind of a difference, where whiteouts work more like… there is a file, but you can’t edit it or it may be locked out for certain users, or an edited version of events where things are ‘whited out’ like with correction paste, among other definitions.

Point is!

The GIW have a media restriction, and among these is social media, probably with certain words or phrases pinging to location restrict the post. There was probably a phase for a while where the A-Listers tried to get around it, but ultimately failed, and since they could only get information IN rather than information OUT, and possibly still a limited amount of outside information in the first place, social media didn’t take off as much in Amity Park than in other places in the world. There’s still a small local presence, but at this point it’s almost like a city wide chat room than actual social media.

Enter in, Jazz Fenton. She’s chronically behind on trends, so by the time she decides to get on social media, the GIW aren’t being as militant on it. And she has that habit of calling the ghosts by code names instead of their actual names, such as Crate Creep instead of The Box Ghost, or Ghost X instead of Skulker. By pure coincidence of her personal language use and Tucker messing with all of Team Phantom’s phone locaters for easier excuse giving, Jazz manages to dodge all the word censors.

She accidentally creates a whole online story community convinced it’s some kind of altered reality game or role playing game, what have you. Meanwhile, Jazz is letting off steam by ranting online with, of course, made up names of all the people involved. She doesn’t even notice the numbers, and that’s assuming the GIW didn’t just—region lock the ability to see them for whatever reason. The few Amity Parkers on social medias see Jazz, maybe look at a complaint post or two, then move on because this isn’t even an unusual video inside Amity Park’s social media sphere.

Heck, PHANTOM has a social media presence and he’s done several rant videos too! One particularly famous one is him complaining about keeping his boots and gloves white while being chased and one of the GIW agents actually stops and gives him advice before shooting at him again.

Those outside Amity Park, of course, only see Jazz’s videos. And she has no idea that she has an entire online presence and mild amounts of online fame. And again, almost everyone thinks the whole thing is just a fun little game, if oddly detailed.

Until, that is, a certain young man by the name of Bernard comes in. One of the few who are totally convinced this is real, he tries to also convince his boyfriend—Timothy Drake-Wayne. Who, in turn, finds it incredibly suspicious that it’s this hard to get news and posts from one random town in the Midwest.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Age of Apocalypse and the Legion Quest lead-in is worth a read if you have the time. In AoA, Erik spends every chance he has to tell anyone about how special Charles was to him. 😭

i just KNOW being around him gotta be exhausting as hell why is he like that .....

[lunadove]

I feel like 10/14 will take Rose on day trips in the TARDIS to beautiful, safe planets.

And then 15 “The Fun Uncle” will just crash into Donna’s backyard every once a while and come out of the TARDIS going “Who wants to stop an alien dictatorship on a planet where all the plant life wants to eat you?”

[lemonbeemon]

Elden ring modern AU where St. Trina & Miquella make a discord server that immediately turns terrible like most discord servers

[gingermintpepper]

I know everyone knows the story of Actaeon and how he met a terrible fate by stumbling upon Artemis bathing in her forest but did you know that Actaeon was Apollo's grandson? That his father was Aristaeus, lord of the bees and the rustic arts and his mother was Autonoe, daughter of Cadmus and princess of Thebes?

Did you know he was trained by Chiron? That he was considered a hunter so skilled his talent was considered divine, that he was his parents' only child and that he was loved?

Did you know the grief that consumed the household when word of Actaeon's fate reached them? That Cadmus cut his hair, that Harmonia wept and was disconsolate and that his parents... well, Autonoe walked the length of the forest, keeping a sharp eye out for her son, but all she saw were the scattered bones of a fawn. Aristaeus too, had heard his son was torn apart and so fruitlessly, foolishly searched for the bones of a man. (There was none to be found)

Did you know that it was Actaeon's ghost, unhappy and unburied, trapped on the earth, who leaned over his sleeping father and told him of his fate? "You will not find me as you knew me, gather me as a stag." And Aristaeus immediately woke his wife and told her the truth, and together they grieved all the night long.

(Did you know that this is why Aristaeus abandons Boeotia? He could not stand the sight of it and so he went to Ceos. And there he slayed the dog-star. And there he became a healing wind. All in the name of his only son, that foolish, beloved Actaeon.)

[villa-kulla]

@ the mag7 fam, I realize I have no way of convincing you this is not a 'and then everyone clapped' fake post, but i LITERALLY MET MANUEL GARCIA RULFO this weekend at a TIFF party, and we LITERALLY SPOKE FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES

Takeaways:

he is really ridiculously handsome, excellent brown eyes, A+

really not as tall as he seems in character, and much slighter, i may have to revisit how 'looming' i've written him in fic lmao

(on that note it is biZARRE meeting someone whose character you've written fic about, that is the first time that has happened to me. i can only be grateful i haven't written too much with him, i'd have withered if it was ethan hawke or LBH lol)

he was extremely friendly! and as it transpired he lived in my hometown for about a year so we just chatted about that. he loves poutine and hates the winter, and he has my full agreement on both counts 👍

he also appears to be dating vincent d'onofrio's daughter which is sO cute, the mag7 fam lives on 🙌 (she is gorgeous btw. and I don't think this is like a 'scoop' or private info or anything lol, I asked if he had anything going on at tiff that day and he was very openly like 'no only next week, today I'm just supporting her!)

(also the context for All This is my gentleman friend is a journalist and i joined him at TIFF for the weekend and basically larped as a famous person all weekend lol good times. weekend was crazy but this part felt the most relevant to tumblr)

[floridazcrazy]

Half-baked r63 yukierre idea/yapping

Guys bear with me here on this. AFAB Yuki right? Her and Pierre traumabonded during their Alpha Tauri days and all that jazz.

They have almost the exact same dynamics as the non r63 version of themselves but heres where it gets tricky-ish. We all know that even w/ all the flirting Pierre would yap about seeing Yuki as a younger sibling and would say/imply as much

So, fem!Yuki realizing she may have some heavy feelings for Pierre whether they be platonic or romantic (whose she kidding ofc they're romantic) but alas everytime Pierre inevitably finds himself flirting w/ her, he backtracks to the "ur like a little sister to me/ur such an immature little kid angle (think rb maxiel)

Which is a slap in the face to Yuki when Pierre goes public w/ his childbride Kika later on that year whos a freshly turned 19 to her 21/22 (maxiel moment lmao).

Yipyap yip yap. Yuki dealin w/ the western worlds overt sexualization of asian women along w/ the desexualization/infantilization that she going to face as an asian woman in old boys club sport. Pierre gasly is not helping w/ these matters at all

Kika is petite, charming and has just enough bite to intrigue but not offend the old guard, unlike Yuki whos being made to see a therapist over her temper. (poor girl) and Yuki's just feeling like the standing woman emoji in the corner. Dont forget Pierre's leaving AT at the end of the season too lmao

At least she has an elder fellow poc woman on the grid to go to advice for, right??. Alex Albon herself who's also lowkey a mess rn. Fried blonde, overgrown pixie cut and undercut monstrosity, fuck ton of helix and orbital piercings (she went to the lh44 school of drip... shes failing) Shes got a thing for George but hes dating Carmen and she and Lily are dancing around each other (just kiss tf??)

Yuki will be ok though, she has Nyck and Liam next year. Miss girls boutta be having some nice sex and reminiscing to do

WeI hope this made some sort of sense. Idk though PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR REBLOG W/ YAPPING. IM HAPPY TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS!!

[batsplat]

Hi bat!!! I was the motogp beginner anon from a while back... About a month later and working my way thru old races from 2000 I have accidentally developed a deep and profound fondness of Sete Gibernau... is it fair to say he is THE prototype for everything Vale did to his later rivals? Your posts on him and their relationship are everything to me - they have given me much to think about, and also facilitated the brain rot! Any thoughts on their 'reunion & make-up' from 2014 onwards?

hi!! I really hope the race recs tag was useful lol, despite my obvious failure to actually finish answering that ask. and omg a sete convert!! it really is going to be half a dozen people soon, exciting times. I'm going to put a pin in the 'reconciliation' half of the ask because the other half was already long enough... and I decided to focus here on valentino's actual tactics rather than his emotions. I still think the sete rivalry did lay the emotional groundwork for subsequent rivalries - but I don't currently have all that many more thoughts from what I said here, here, here, here, here, here, and here (lol)

so yeah, I think the sete rivalry functions as a mix of a prototype and a warning - and it's the first bit I'll be talking about in this post. valentino does have a few rivals pre-sete who he has at least a little bit of tension with - biaggi most infamously, but also jorge martinez and harada in his 125cc/250cc days. and while all these rivalries are formative in their own right, they also come with a certain... spontaneity. valentino makes a flippant comment about biaggi to some reporters, a feud is born as a result. it's kind of the training wheels feud - valentino's just saying shit really, he's provoking biaggi sometimes deliberately and sometimes less so, it's all very earnest and youthful and unrestrained. while he's already a natural communicator, he's a lot less skilful in actually using the media to his own ends, to pursue an agenda or press home an advantage. he's just reacting to every situation as it occurs, leaving us with a feud that consists of mostly isolated flashpoints. that isn't to say there wasn't a sense of escalation - catalunya 2001 and its fistfight beckons - but it's missing a narrative arc... and the reason for that is that valentino is not quite yet exerting his authorial hand on events. obviously valentino is not, in fact, a god and isn't exerting perfect control how each rivalry unfolds - but it is noticeable how many of them end up having such a scripted feel to them. sometimes, this stage-managing didn't work out for him and he came out second best when the dust had settled - but more often than not, he played it to perfection. hence the nine titles

and it's that narrative autonomy that really becomes a feature of valentino's game during the sete rivalry. at first, this magic touch isn't really maliciously wielded against sete... they're not enemies, they're still going on holidays together, valentino is just using sete as a sounding board to work through some things. the stakes in 2003 aren't as much directly competitive as they are psychological - despite 'only' having a 29 point advantage 9/16 rounds into the season, valentino was probably always going to be fine on that front. he's not worried about losing the title... but he is feeling unhappy at honda, he is frustrated with how much he's being criticised, he hates to lose to sete. and so, he uses the humiliation of his sachsenring loss that immediately preceded the summer break, twisting it so that it becomes an inflection point of that season (and also that rivalry). he does all the mind games hair dyeing and decides to sign for yamaha and all of it, and then he bounces back to claim the victory at brno by .042s. where he does his extremely on the nose prisoner's celebration to perfectly define what that season was all about - he's breaking free and taking control of his own story. zero subtlety whatsoever. and that's the climax of the season... like, he's crowned champion in sepang (where he crucially brings back the prisoner celebration but indicates with the novelty lock that he is now free), and his defining victory that year is probably at phillip island... but essentially, his arc that year is resolved at brno. after that, he's reaping the rewards

this is still valentino playing it on easy mode relatively speaking but it's kinda freak behaviour to just decide he 'won't be taking any more prisoners', as he puts it in his autobiography, and then basically stops losing. uses his fury to drop fifteen seconds on the field in australia. remember this is the first time he wins valencia too, because he needs to say goodbye to his bike the correct way or whatever. okay

sete is a little bit incidental to the narrative that year - they're mostly just setting the stage for what's to come. we do get little hints... suspicions on valentino's part (whether founded or not) that sete was taking this competition business rather seriously after all. valentino's remarkably out of character face of thunder after losing at the sachsenring. how they're both playing off this rivalry as so so different to the valentino/biaggi fiasco... they're different, you see, they're friends! you can be rivals and respect each other. it's all fine. sete mainly functions as a plot device to put pressure on valentino - a new consistent rival emerging, one who wasn't supposed to be the challenger, a little older and smarter and without much of a track record of success. not the guy who should be challenging valentino. valentino is generally very pro the concept of rivals, even when he's obviously attempting to destroy them. he's aware that they're part of the show, that you need a great rival for a great fight, that beating the very best is what it's all about. also, obviously, it's an important way of motivating himself. valentino is made better for that sachsenring defeat, for having to sit with his mistake at the very last corner, for knowing he should have won that race and had allowed it to slip through his fingers. for that first half of 2003, he's all over the place, error prone, emotionally a bit of a mess - he's been winning so much, it really isn't hitting the same way anymore. he hasn't been winning the right way. sete reminds him of just how much valentino hates to lose. and valentino learns the lesson gladly

now, 2004 doesn't have quite so neat a turning point, and instead features multiple moments where valentino acts to take control of the season. the drama starts early, at welkom, featuring a bit of a biaggi cameo appearance at a time where biaggi was no longer valentino's major rival (though he does still feature in that year's title fight). as valentino describes in his autobiography, he knows demanding victory of himself and his team wasn't a realistic expectation for that race - but sometimes, you just have to tell yourself a story, engage in a little self-delusion... and, hey, maybe you can turn that delusion into reality. after that, it looks for a little while like that success might have been illusory, like valentino might be on the back foot on his weaker bike after all, with sete's back-to-back victories at jerez and le mans. and then you get another inflection point - the trio of races, mugello, catalunya and assen, where valentino takes control of the season after duelling with sete for the victory back-to-back-to-back. each race comes with its own special significance, from sete's rain dance comment at mugello and alleged yellow flag infringement, to his defeat on home turf at catalunya, to his inability to successfully play the gracious loser at assen. the cracks are appearing in the friendship, yes, but valentino is also wrenching back momentum to his side in rather a dramatic fashion. from then on, it looks like he might be able to see out the season in a straightforward manner

except, of course, he can't. because then you get qatar. I do increasingly feel like I have a fairly good grasp of what Really happened, but that's for another time... the key point is that it's a humiliating experience for valentino, both the penalty itself and then the crash, and it's one where he completely loses his head in a fairly uncharacteristic manner. plus, he hurt his pinkie finger. valentino could have emerged from that weekend cowed and chastened, having to backpedal on some of the... more creative remarks he'd made about sete. clearly, sete was expecting that valentino would do so - or at the very least not continue to escalate the hostilities. and it is during that sepang 2004 weekend that valentino's stage managerial skills are truly allowed to shine. the high drama of the presser, valentino's refusal to concede any ground to sete as sete had to realise in real time he'd wandered into the wrong genre and his previous close friendship with valentino counted for nothing. valentino's subsequent domination of the weekend, the imperious form as sete buckled when the title was in sight. the cruelty of valentino's celebrations, making sure to properly twist in the knife while he had the chance. title fight back on track

after that, of course, comes the process by which valentino unravels sete entirely. he presses home the advantage at phillip island, taking quite a few risks to snatch the win from sete on the very last lap - he did not have to win the race to win the title, but he did so anyway because he needed to beat sete. call it an investment for the future. the opening round of the following season brings with it the rivalry's single most dramatic moment that... well, it doesn't quite end the rivalry, as discussed in this post sete does still have plenty of chances to win in 2005 - but essentially valentino ensures at jerez that he will have an enduring psychological advantage. a victory that really should never have been dramatic! valentino learned his lesson from the sachsenring, he wasn't trying any dramatic last lap overtakes. he overtook sete with three laps to go at jerez, which should really have been that. as detailed in this post, it's his last lap mistake that even necessitates that dramatic final corner overtake. now, as it happens, everything works out perfectly for valentino. losing a home race like that on the final corner is absolutely brutal, valentino's deftly played post-race theatre and the perception that sete didn't stand up to him only makes things worse. valentino was always going to win the 2005 season, but he ensured in the very first race that there would not even be a title fight. but again! crucially! valentino was not planning this! the last lap of the race was very much not what he was intending to happen - it was an error on his part that could have easily cost him the win in rather painful a fashion that started all of this. valentino is ready to risk a crash when he shoves it up the inside of sete... his desperation is key, but so is his lack of planning

so that's where we're at with the sete rivalry... high drama, all these turning points and on-track and off-track theatre that coalesced into a narrative - of which valentino was the master. it feels different from the biaggi rivalry... this isn't just two guys that hate each other, it's a story. and when you frame it in those terms, when you speak to how it feels like valentino is flexing his authorial hand in helping these events unfold... well, then you do start seeing the blueprint for subsequent rivalries. the 2008 and 2009 seasons have a key similarity: a single race that completely changed the momentum of the season, remembered in part for a single highly memorable overtake that valentino inflicted on his title rivals. so if you take that trio of races - jerez 2005, laguna 2008 and catalunya 2009 - you're in a situation where valentino's three most famous overtakes weren't just fun or memorable in their own right, but fundamentally changed the dynamic of their respective rivalries. which... I mean, that feels unlikely, right? sometimes, dramatic races just happen - there's no guarantee they're going to completely transform the rivalry as well as the season. once can happen to anyone, twice is pretty striking, but three times? bit odd innit

I've already talked about this a bit here:

and I've just posted about this in considerable more depth in the context of the 2008 season, which we'll circle back to later. it's one of the most interesting seasons in terms of how the momentum shifts happen over the course of the year, which is why I've detailed the build-up to laguna in considerable detail on this blog. see posts on mugello, catalunya, donington, assen, sachsenring, and laguna itself. here's a basic overview of how the 2008 season unfolds:

the key turning points are valentino getting to grips with the bridgestones, the post-race catalunya test where ducati finally gets their shit together, and then the race at laguna. I don't think you quite get the sense of how dramatic a turning point laguna was if you just look at the results - it's important to emphasise that despite still being behind in the points, casey was the title favourite headed into that race. the idea was that once casey and ducati got going, we could easily be in for a repeat of 2007. just total domination. casey wins those three pre-laguna races very comfortably, having basically led every single practise session throughout those weekends. by the time you get to laguna, it's his fifth straight pole position. even if valentino comes in second to casey every single time for the rest of this season, the points gap is at this stage still way too small for that to work out for him. if you told someone before the race at laguna that casey would win every remaining race that season - sure, it wouldn't have been likely, but it definitely would've been seen as plausible. quite frankly it would've been seen as plausible even right after the race at laguna itself, as is reflected in the discourse in the immediate aftermath of the race

in 2009, the title fight is looking extremely open headed into catalunya. valentino is actually third in the standings before that race, behind casey and jorge - though of course nobody knew at the time that casey would not be in title contention for much longer. there is again this slight sense of valentino having his back against the wall... horrendous race at le mans, then brings it home to third in a similarly messy race at mugello because he knows he can't afford to be throwing away any more points. which... losing at mugello? the race he'd won seven times in a row? the one race in a season where you could reliably pencil in valentino's name as the winner, even if he often achieved his victories in rather chaotic a manner? the italian press was not happy with him, and even less so when jorge beats him to pole at catalunya. there are several references in the race commentary to the italian press writing valentino off, calling him washed (to paraphrase), which is objectively a teensy bit of an overreaction but. y'know. getting consistently beaten by your younger teammate is just not a good look. valentino needed that win at catalunya, both him and jorge desperately wanted to beat each other in a direct duel - and all in front of jorge's own home crowd

which, again. it all just feels scripted, doesn't it. that's what we're coming back to here - this feeling that from the sete rivalry onwards, valentino somehow manages to control the narrative to such an extent that things just keep perfectly working out for him. he wins both laguna and catalunya, everyone remembers those as two of his greatest victories - not just because he needed the win but because of how he executed them. the corkscrew, catalunya's final corner... these defining images that have outlasted the context of the seasons in which they happened. and crucially - crucially! they actually do manage to completely change the profile of their respective seasons. 2009 is a bit messier, though broadly speaking valentino is in control of that year's title fight post-catalunya. let's bring back 2008's results:

that laguna to motegi run? absolute sicko behaviour. casey is the faster rider at the very least in laguna, brno and misano. motegi is valentino's title-sealing race. valentino isn't really the title favourite anymore headed into laguna, and he literally does not lose another race until he wins the title. competing against prime casey. how does that happen, right

so that's the case for sete being the prototype: it's the authorial intent that's striking in these subsequent title-winning seasons, something that originated with sete. you just have these races where it's like valentino draws a little red circle around the date on the calendar and goes, 'okay, this is my momentum switch race'. like sepang 2004, his back is against the wall and he manages to change the complexion of the title fight in a single weekend. like phillip island 2004, he won't be denied his fairy tale victory. like jerez 2005, a single dramatic overtake permanently changes the rivalry. which is all well and good, but there's an obvious follow-up question. how is valentino doing this? why do his rivals not simply say no to being woven up in his dramatic narratives? why is he being allowed to pick and choose his momentum switch races? how does he keep getting away with this...

and it is at this juncture that I will present my five-step plan to playing god in local motorcycling competition, a foolproof (mostly) way of ensuring that the fates intervene on your side. here goes:

choosing the occasion

going in with a plan

playing the 'joker'

milking the moment

bite harder when the opponent is already bleeding

there you go. that's the lessons he learned from fighting sete that later allowed him to script his rivalries. I've cracked the code

let's go through them one by one. the thing is, valentino really did pick his momentum switch races in both laguna 2008 and catalunya 2009. obviously, he couldn't have predicted things would've worked out quite so perfectly for him, but he wasn't just playing it like any other weekend. and both times, he made a great call. at laguna, it's notable that he tells his confidantes he does not intend to let casey win the eve of the race - aka after qualifying has already taken place. laguna might be a track casey was incredible at the previous year and valentino had a rather mediocre record at, but at least valentino knew he'd be lining up right alongside casey. he still needed to get a decent start, a metric in which casey is exponentially more accomplished than valentino, but at least it was theoretically possible for valentino to be in casey's vicinity (unlike at the sachsenring). the track layout of laguna also lends itself to the kind of race valentino was intending to execute in a way that, for instance, the next race at brno just wouldn't be as suited for. laguna is narrow, fast, scary - not a great track for overtaking. which makes defending against a substantially faster rider a way more feasible proposition than it would be on the considerably wider brno track. laguna was also just before the summer holidays, which is kind of a great time to inflict a humiliating defeat on your opponent - you're making them sit with the defeat for a few weeks, rather than letting them wipe the slate clean a few days later. (some might say it's preferable to immediately have more races so you can strike while the other party is still vulnerable but, well, that kind of summer break gap is fantastic for lasting psychological damage.) plus, the mismatch between casey's and valentino's laguna record was such - the momentum casey had built up was so considerable - that absolutely nobody was expecting valentino to challenge for the victory. more detail on the pre-race chat here

biblical levels of over

so yeah. this is obviously easier said than done, but there's really no better race to win when the pre-race rhetoric reads like that. catalunya 2009 has a similar combination of circumstances that make it the ideal momentum switch race... like laguna, it's when valentino really really needed a win. unlike laguna, it's a circuit where valentino has an excellent record at - and has been known to win quite a few duels in his time (as well as lose a rather memorable one to casey two years ago). it's also a circuit where jorge is strong, and unlike with laguna it's no real surprise that the two of them will be fighting for victory. a good circuit for racing and crucially also one that is good for valentino's racing - obviously, it's the last corner overtake that lives on in everyone's minds, but valentino has made much use in his time of his ability to brake particularly deep into the infamous turn one. and of course, it is jorge's home circuit. after beating valentino at his home track at the last race, there is nothing jorge would have liked more than to win in front of his own fans. he's even got a special livery... his celebrations if he'd won that race would have been something to behold. no better time to beat him... even better that there was a moment when jorge will have thought he already had the race won... like casey, element of surprise - just at a different point of the weekend

so, onto the next step. going in with a plan. again, obviously valentino could not have foreseen either of his infamous overtakes unfolding exactly as they did - but it is a case where you can trace back the overtake itself to his intentions going into the race. it's not just a complete coincidence he happened to pull off these specific overtakes in the most dramatic manner possible in what happened to be very important races... in both cases, the overtakes were a logical consequence of valentino's pre-race planning. at laguna, valentino knew that he could not allow casey to get away in front. the entire race was built around the single principle that he had to discard his preferred approach of shadowing his opponents, and instead had to go all in on disrupting casey from the front. by the time the corkscrew overtake happens, lap four, it's also pretty clear where each rider is strong and where they are weak. for all the fighting between the pair of them, casey doesn't actually cross the line of any single lap in first position. that's because valentino knows that casey cannot be allowed to do so - with the ducati horsepower and casey's own skill, casey is inevitably stronger out of the final bend and into the first corner. if casey is allowed to lead there, it's basically game over. all the overtakes in that race between the pair of them happen in the bits of the track that are at or before the corkscrew - and the corkscrew is the last bit of the track where valentino has an actual edge over casey. so, if you've committed yourself to beating casey whatever happens, if you know that you cannot allow him to lead out of the final bend and you're basically on your last chance to prevent it, if you've committed yourself completely to that strategy... well, you're going to stick it on the inside of your opponent, come what may. obviously it still takes a lot of skill and luck for valentino to survive that off-track excursion, but it is essentially a more dramatic repeat of the overtake he executed on lap one. it's a consequence of actual strategy, not just spur of the moment genius

with catalunya, if anything it's even more straightforward than that - valentino tells reporters afterwards that he'd been visualising that final corner overtake in the week leading up to that race. obviously, he would have preferred not to be behind jorge at this point of the race but... well, he knew he had an ace up his sleeve, if he could just pull it off. and he knew he could pull it off, because he'd executed that exact move on casey two years before - as casey jokes about in the presser - just not on the final lap. obviously this is also a case of dramatic irony very much haunting jorge - who, for reasons that remain mysterious to me, went around the week before that race telling reporters that whoever was leading into that part of the track would have the race won. jorge's mental rigidity and his refusal to defend the line properly headed into a corner he assumed valentino would have no hope of overtaking him in is what cost him that race victory. so again, like with laguna, obviously this could very easily have not come off for valentino, obviously it could've gone pretty disastrously wrong. but also... well, valentino had thought about the possibility of needing that move before the race, he was mentally prepared, he'd already tried it out a couple of years earlier - it didn't just come completely out of nowhere

the next step is pretty simple. 'joker' refers to this clip of valentino talking about having bonuses... these moments each season where you can risk a lot and go beyond your limit. don't try your luck too often, but you've got to have a few times where you go that extra step. this obviously doesn't really make sense in terms of like,, tempting fate, that's not how probability work - but it is useful in terms of the underlying psychology. this way of allowing valentino to let go of any inhibitions, to ignore any considerations for his own safety, and instead make a deal with fate... these are the races where he will do whatever it takes to win and he trusts that fate will have his back. and yeah, various races that have been mentioned in this post must surely fall in this category. phillip island 2004, where he makes daring last lap overtakes in the penultimate round of the championship - if he crashes, he's going to have to try and wrap up the title at his bogey track. catalunya 2009 - that last corner overtake could easily, easily, easily have gone wrong, and left valentino in the extremely awkward position of having taking out both himself and his teammate to leave their chief rival with a cushier championship lead. both valentino and especially jorge have alluded to the risk of that move... yes, it's not discussed in quite the same terms as jerez 2005 or laguna 2008 - there was nothing wrong with the move, no contact, it was completely clean. but but that didn't make it any less risky

and the most obvious example is, of course, laguna 2008. valentino has straight-up admitted he was willing to do whatever it takes to stop casey from winning that race, which could easily have involved taking out both of them at a downright terrifying track. it's part of the reason why casey took so poorly to valentino's conduct - less than the actual moves, it is the mindset behind them that was so objectionable to casey. valentino made a bargain with the universe that he would ride without any fear or caution on a track that generally tended to make him quite nervous (didn't even think the corkscrew was suitable to walk down, mind you) - and it's that bargain that allowed him to throw the bike down a terrifying blind corner into the direct path of his title rival. which is all well and good, but. uh. casey didn't get to sign up for this

then you've got milking the moment, which is such a key element of immortalising these races. at sepang 2004, valentino has his nasty pre-planned sweeping celebrations to make fun of sete. at jerez 2005, it's all spontaneous - he's reacting to the animosity of the crowd and hamming it up with absolutely zero restraint. pumping his fist, waving at the crowd, jabbing his finger around... the drama of parc fermé, the fourth wall break to take the piss out of sete's injury en route to the podium, the performative celebrations to really stick it to the spaniards on the podium. the way valentino makes use of his celebrations as another weapon in the psychological warfare arsenal is discussed a bit in this post, including with a pretty lengthy section on the laguna 2008 celebrations. the key bit is that he already knew the lap four corkscrew overtake would be everyone's defining memory of the race - so that was the thing he immediately paid tribute to

the post also discusses how he behaves around casey in the immediate aftermath - how he just will not leave the poor bloke alone... it's something valentino doesn't really do with rivals who have just lost a race, he's not that type of confrontational character. which partly reflects the specific shape of his relationship with casey, but most importantly comes from an awareness that casey is not doing himself any favours with any of his post-race reactions. like, yes, valentino is clearly having fun teasing casey - but he also knows that casey is going to get shit for this behaviour, and the more of that is caught on camera the better. valentino even gets such a lovely rise out of casey when he interrupts casey's tv interview - giving us casey refusing valentino's handshake with cameras and microphones conveniently at hand - that he deploys the exact same tactic with jorge at catalunya 2009. to jorge's credit, for all that he clearly was very pissed off with valentino's celebrations, he manages to play it cool in front of the cameras and puts in one of his better performances as the gracious loser. which (beyond reflecting how valentino feels towards jorge vs casey) probably also helps to explain why valentino wasn't bothering him for the rest of the podium ceremony - it is jorge who pulls valentino off the podium to give him a proper hug, not vice versa

still, catalunya 2009 is in the same camp - because jorge and his team were pretty vocal in the 2010 title-winning documentary how irritating they found the triumphalism of the celebrations valentino and his team put on. again, it's valentino going full ham - yes, valentino likes his celebrations, but he does generally like to play it a bit more cool and jokey and above it all... not shaking his fist about so ferociously you worry he'll throw himself off the bike. there's also of course the lovely little touch of valentino securing his 99th win at catalunya 2009, a sign that the fates may actually for real be on his side -

- which, like with the corkscrew at laguna, is of course something valentino had the presence of mind to pay attention to. more discussion of this too in the 2008-10 jorge/valentino rivalry post

so yeah, milking the moment. making sure everyone remembers the race - and everyone remembers the best bit of that race. making sure it hurts as much as possible for the opponent, whether that takes the form of consistently hounding them or just being incredibly triumphalist in front of their home crowd. if possible, have a stab at letting them stitch themselves up as publicly as possible

might not be a lesson valentino learnt directly from how sete's reaction at jerez 2005 in parc fermé was seen as inadequate - but it's the kind of thing that does make you understand the importance of The Moment. these immediate reactions matter... valentino could play the gracious winner easily enough, but his rivals might well have been doomed whatever they did. sometimes it's about ensuring your opponents only have bad options, right?

and lastly. all of this would have been completely pointless, just an utter waste of time, if valentino had then gone off to crash in the next three races. this feels like one that's flirting with stating the obvious - yeah, no shit, it's better for you to keep up momentum after your big momentum switch race than to lose it again. but it is key! if you're making such a big fuss about your big dramatic win, then you've got to lock in and actually make them suffer... hurt the opponent when they're already bleeding etc etc. again, the 2004 playbook is instructive here - valentino promises sete won't win another race, and then he locks in to win the next three himself. one pretty comfortably after tormenting sete all weekend, one after a dramatic last lap battle, and the last at his bogey track (the final time he won there in his career). in 2009, this isn't all that spectacular - valentino wins the next race reasonably comfortably, but also... y'know, it's assen, he's good at assen, jorge has a more complicated record there. does allow him to secure his 100th win at the first time of asking. the other key moments that season is pulling off the sachsenring win by 0.099s (a margin he didn't commemorate but I'm sure he noticed), the misano win after the indy flopfest where he did the donkey ears celebrations, and doing such a good job phillip island pre-race that he managed to spook jorge into a first lap error. catalunya is the clear turning point that season, but valentino is also helped out by how casey becomes increasingly competitively irrelevant after that point. who knows how that season would have gone if casey, who obviously had not been psychologically affected by catalunya, had still been healthy. 2008 is more clear cut in that regard... I've just put out a post that discusses in plenty of detail how the immediate post-laguna stretch goes horrendously wrong for casey, but of course it is pretty notable that casey has his first ducati race crash at laguna and then immediately follows it up with another two out of the lead at brno and misano. it is also a span of races that is EXTREMELY relevant to the thesis of this post, since the writing around those races repeatedly pays direct tribute to the idea of valentino the storyteller:

or valentino the witch, whichever you'd prefer

as I repeatedly stressed in that post, there are absolutely other reasons why casey just happened to have that particular string of poor results - ones that have nothing to do with valentino's ability to exert pressure or cook up nasty spells. obviously, a big caveat in this entire discussion is that however you slice or dice it, the way all of this unfolded for valentino still involves a heavy helping of good fortune. but, well, you make your own luck!! valentino built a reputation for breaking his opponents off the back of putting a curse on sete - which means that by the time you get to casey, you've got people speculating about whether valentino is using black magic on the guy. it's a reputation valentino built on merit, but it's still one that acquired a kind of mythical status... and valentino was able to use that in its own right. those infamous skills of putting pressure on his opponents - ones that for a while there had extremely noticeably (and worryingly) not been working on casey. pick your fighter, a voice in your ear whispering to you mid-race or an invisible hand prompting you to make errors

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you write your own sports narratives. make your rivals despair in five quick and easy steps

IN CONCLUSION. obviously there's also other ways in which sete served as the prototype for later valentino rivalries - again, plenty of this blog has been dedicated to detailing the emotional repercussions of that feud and how it may have affected valentino's approach going forwards. but!! I wanted to take a different approach in this post and really just focus in on the actual sporting implications... how interesting and intricate momentum is in terms of its sports psychology, how adept valentino is at deliberately picking and choosing his moments to rewrite the narratives of a given season + rivalry. momentum is one of the most important psychological aspects of competition and obviously valentino is hardly the first athlete to be particularly skilled at twisting it to his advantage, but you have to give him credit for doing so in such a dramatic and also fun manner. not everyone can use curses to ruin their rivals

and yes, of course valentino did get lucky for some of these races to go so perfectly for him - you cannot plan the corkscrew overtake or that final corner catalunya drama, and both of them are so risky he would rather have avoided him. but on the other hand, yes, I still think there's enough evidence here to suggest he also made his own luck. very accomplished in using the psychology of competition to his advantage! and a lot of it did start with sete - the first rival against whom valentino wasn't just reacting. what valentino did to sete was more than that... it was about taking control of the narrative. a lot of what valentino did to his subsequent rivals, especially in the context of winning the 2008 and 2009 title fights, can be traced back to tools and tricks he first started wielding against sete. sete was the emotionally fraught trial run - what valentino did in 2008-09 was the actions of a man who had already mastered his craft

[kaylazer]

back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔

(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)