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leocancertaurus · 3 years ago

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Worth It

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

wc: ~2k

an: i would consider this more of a side shot to best worst decision rather than part 3 but it's fun so enjoy :)

pt. 1 | pt. 2

summary: Melina talks some sense into Natasha.

Yelena wanted to celebrate getting her driver’s license. She always got so excited over the “little things” because she never got to celebrate them growing up. In true Yelena fashion, she threw a small party to celebrate the right way.

It’d been longer than the two of you normally went without seeing each other. Because of this, you were the first person she invited. The happenings of your and Natasha’s divorce had been extremely hard on Yelena. Some days it feels like she’s taking it harder than the children. When she found out, she sobbed into your chest for a half hour at the prospect of not having you in her life anymore. You were the second big sister she never had and when it came to sharing her emotions, she trusted you endlessly.

Tonight, she’d wanted her closest family to be with her to celebrate the fact that she’d learned how to drive! So, you found yourself at her apartment with her, your daughters, Natasha, Melina and Alexei. Yelena and the girls sat on the floor playing Candyland while you got stuck conversing with Alexei.

“So, you would agree that Captain America has noodle arms compared to me?” he flexes his arms trying to trap you into admiring his bicep.

“I-”

“Y/n! Your children are big fat cheaters!” Yelena interrupts the delusion. You sigh thanking your lucky stars for her saving you.

“Getting beat by children that can’t even read yet? Thats tough, Belova,” Natasha cuts in.

“I CAN read Mama!”, Zara defends. “Auntie Lena’s shirt says, “loser”, the child beams.

“It does not!” Yelena gasps. You throw your head back releasing a boisterous laugh. Your five year old looks at you feeling triumphant. You lean forward offering a high five and she excitedly slaps your hand.

“Natasha, can you come help me in the kitchen please?” Melina’s voice cuts in effectively calming everyone down like only she knew how. Natasha rises off of the plush chair adjacent to the couch you’re on. You get a strong whiff of coconut as she passes. You bite your bottom lip as you steal a good look at her perfect ass. You clench your fists at your sides to keep yourself from jumping out ot grab it.

Natasha enters the kitchen finding Melina standing over the stove. “What can I help with?”

“Do you mind chopping those peppers for me, darling?” Natasha nods and starts cutting and they work in tandem in silence except for the noise from their rowdy family in the living room. Natasha is yanked out of her rhythm by a slap to the back of her head. She immediately places a hand on the throbbing spot.

“Um…. what was that for?” she asks very slowly, furrowing her brow at her mother.

“Sorry. I just needed to get that out.” Melina crosses her arms over her chest.

“Why?!”

“Because you’re very stupid and I know I taught you better than that,” Melina blurts out. “So, I needed to make sure that I slapped you at least one good time.”

“Ok, you’re gonna have to give me some context clues here.”

“Those three in there.”

“You mean my divorce” Natasha sighs. She couldn’t go one day without someone reminding her.

“You’re not divorced yet!”

“Well, we’re getting there. Y/n doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore and I don’t blame her. Let’s just call a spade a spade,” he picks the knife up again and continues chopping.

“Since when are you a quitter?”

“Since I was served divorce papers… like real ones.”

“Has legal documentation stopped you from doing anything you didn’t want to do?”

“I mean… no.”

“Well?”

“Well what?” Natasha snaps. She’d hoped to go one night behaving as a normal family. Which was seemingly impossible these days.

“What’s the real reason you’re giving up on your family Natasha?”

Natasha points her finger in her face, “I’m not giving up on my family. I’m simply respecting Y/n’s wishes.”

“Oh Y/n is ready for baby #3 with the looks she’s been giving you!”

“Maybe you’ve mistaken what pure hatred looks like.”

“You’re so dramatic! So, you don’t want your family back?”

“Of course I want my family back.”

“Then why are you so comfortable running?”

Natasha halts her chopping and searches for an answer, “Becuase I don’t deserve them.”

“Natasha.”

“No, I don’t. Not only am I a monster that is fully capable of screwing those kids up. But, I had the perfect little life on a silver platter and I threw it all away. I had my chance time and time again and I blew it. Whatever this is that I feel, I promise you that I deserve it.”

“What is it that you feel, hm?” Somehow, Melina was the first person to have asked Natasha how she’s feeling.

“Disappointed? Sad? I just miss them, I guess.” Her voice is weak and slightly unsteady. She clears her throat hoping Melina missed it, even though she knows she didn’t.

“You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow harder,” she places her hands on Natasha’s shoulders, gently rubbing them.

“I don’t think–”

“Don’t interrupt me while I’m speaking. My point is that obviously this separation has helped you come to your senses. So, get your family back.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy.

“Why isn’t it? You love them, no?”

“Yes.”

“You would kill for them, no?”

“In a heartbeat.”

“Those are really the only two things you need, Natasha. I’m not understanding?”

Natasha turns to face her mother figure. She tilts her head to the side and slightly looks off to the side, trying to put the ill fitting pieces together.

“Just give it a shot,” Melina says gently swatting Natasha’s arm. “And if you hurt my sweet Y/n again. I will feed you to Alexei and you know exactly which one I’m talking about.”

Yelena comes into the kitchen for a glass of water sensing the tension. Her wide smile quickly drops.

“Whoa who died?” Yelena demands.

“Just trying to talk some sense into your big stupid sister here.”

“She’s very stupid, I agree. What’d she do now?” The blonde swipes a chunk of the peppers that Natasha had been chopping, tossing it into her mouth.

“She’s pretty much decided on letting her very beautiful wife and precious children go.” Yelena gasps and slaps Natasha in the back of the head.

“I swear the next person who slaps me is losing a hand,” she aims the point of the large knife in Yelena’s face.

“I’m sorry but, you have easily become my second favorite sister. I never thought I’d see the day.”

You quickly enter the kitchen with a frown on your face. As soon as the three women’s eyes land on you, their expressions soften. “You guys. What have I told you about leaving me alone with Alexei. It’s really hard being the only one that doesn’t have the balls to be honest with him. I just told him that he looks younger than Steve…. Which is obviously a lie and Steve is like 200.”

Yelena and Melina laugh at your rant. Melina pats you on your shoulder, “Honey, can you help Natasha finish dinner, please? I’ll go knock him down a peg just for you,” she kisses the side of your head and waves for Yelena to follow her back into the living room. Yelena gives Natasha a stern glare and swiftly exits.

You approach Natasha asking, “What can I do?”

“Uh, can you stir that?” She points to the simmering pot on the stove.

“Yeah, of course.”

“I’m sorry you got stuck with him. I think we need to ban him from saying the words Captain and America”, Natasha smirks.

“It’s okay. Just don’t let it happen again. I’ve paid my dues for the next decade,” you shake your head.

Nat freezes thinking about the prospect of the next ten years. Would the two of you be back together in that time? How would you kids feel about her for tearing your family apart? Would she have stepped back from the Avengers? Would you be married to someone else? These thoughts combined made Natasha’s grip the edge of the counter so hard that her knuckles turned white. You turn from stirring the stew and lean your back on the edge of the counter that Natasha’s standing at and you immediately notice her demeanor.

“Hey, you ok?” You place a gentle hand on her shoulder making her flinch.

She meets your gaze with tears in her eyes and bounds forward throwing herself into your arms, burying her face in your neck. You freeze at the unexpected embrace but once you feel her shaky breaths you gently wrap one arm around her, not wanting to squeeze too tight and you place your other hand at the back of her head, gently caressing her soft locks. She hasn’t been this close to you in a very long time. You’re not sure who’s heart is racing faster. “Hey, what’s the matter” you speak loud enough for just her to hear.

“I just really needed a hug.”

“That all?” you feel the movement of her shaking her head. “What else do you need baby?”

“I just need to feel you. I need to know that you don’t hate me even though I feel like you should.”

You hum, taking in exactly what she’s getting at and you mull over your next words before verbalizing them, “I could never hate you. Why should I?”

“I broke my promises to you. Including the one when I said I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah you did. I’m angry at you for that but, I don��t hate you. I don’t think I’m meant to hate you.” At that you feel the hot tears, that she’d been intently guarding, finally spill onto your shoulder.

“I deserve for you to.”

“You don’t.”

“I do!”

“Natasha. Stop it. You were my best friend long before you were anything more to me and I’ll love you until the day I die. That love may change. We’ve seen that happen already. I don’t know what our love will become but, it’s definitely not going anywhere,” she squeezes you impossibly tighter. “I need you to get that through your thick skull okay?” You lightly knock on the side of her head, earning a teary chuckle.

“I love you so much Y/n/n. It scares me sometimes.” She raises her head off of you shoulder and she allows you to wipe her tears. She looks down releasing a thoughtful sigh, “I really want our family back. Whether or not I deserve that is debateable, I guess. But, this life isn’t worth living without my girls,” she takes another deep breath, working overtime to control her emotions. “I don’t expect you to have an answer right now or to make any promises but, I just want you to know that at least.”

You rest your forehead against hers and mindlessly caress her back while she’s still in your arms, “Thank you for telling me that. It is a lot to think about. Maybe we should have a more extensive conversation later? Once we’ve properly celebrated Yelena.”

She finally meets your eyes and you reassure her with a soft smile, “God, she really shouldn’t have been given a license,” Natasha groans.

“Absolutely not,” you laugh.

“You two better not burn that food!”, Melina yells from the living room causing the two of you to jump apart, just barely saving dinner.

Whatever happens between you and Natasha next will be incredibly taxing without a doubt but, Natasha would always be worth it. The possibilities were endless when it came to her.

#natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #mama nat #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha x fem!reader #yelena belova #leocancertaurus #black widow x reader #wlw

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ragingpancake · 3 years ago

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I Got You

A/N: I watched Echoes the other night and frankly, I just needed to write this. Sort of an unofficial sequel to The Road to Nowhere Leads to Me.

They’re almost back to Atlantis from the mainland when Rodney realizes that maybe something’s a bit off with Sheppard – er… John (and he has to remind himself to start calling Shep—John by his first name because this whole… thing between this is still relatively new and it’s probably not social acceptable for one to refer to one’s boyfriend by last name only). No one would ever really call him chatty, but this level of quietness is almost unsettling, especially when Rodney tries to goad him into some gentle bantering and he’s just not having it. “What’s wrong with you?” He asks finally as the city is just coming into view. “Huh?” Rodney squints, mouth turning down in a frown. “I certainly didn’t stutter, Colonel.” Maybe that’ll get his attention.

He waits a moment, and then two. Nope. Nada. The lights are on but nobody’s home. “… John.”

At that, John lifts a hand and presses the heel of it against one of his eyes, wincing and Rodney notices for the first time how not well the other actually looks. “I’ve just… got this killer headache that won’t go away,” he says and it actually sounds pained in a way that Rodney isn’t quite used to from him. He watches as John squints at the city in the distance. “Maybe I should take over?” For a split second, he thinks John might be considering it before he shakes his head. “Nah, s’alright. I know how much you struggle to fly in a straight line.” There’s the smallest hint of teasing in his voice but Rodney doesn’t rise to the challenge because it’s such a weak attempt on John’s part that he knows he’d absolutely assassinate John with a comeback and where’s the fun in that? “Are you sure? Because, because I’ve been in one of these things when it’s crashed into the water, if you remember correctly, and I really have no intention of repeating that, so if you aren’t feeling well, I’d rather just--.” “Rodney,” John says and now, there’s a trace of a bite to his tone. Wow. Hostile. “Okay, I’m just saying--.” “I know,” John says. “But it’s fine. I’ve got it.” Rodney resigns himself to believing that for about a split second until he glances over again and notices the blood dripping from John’s nose. “John--.” “Dammit, Rodney! I said I’m--.” And whatever lie John was about to tell dies on his lips as he slumps over, head smacking the console. Immediately, Rodney leaps into action, grabbing John before he slips out of the pilot’s chair to ease him down onto the floor, his head lulling to the side sickeningly. “Jumper 1, this is Atlantis, come in. Your course has drastically shifted.” Radek’s voice comes through the comm system in the jumper and Rodney suddenly realizes that no one is, you know, actually piloting. “I need a medical team to the Jumper Bay. Sheppard is down, I repeat, Sheppard is down.” He scrambles into the pilot’s chair and manages to jerk it upwards approximately three point five seconds before the jumper crashes into the ocean. “Rodney?” It’s Elizabeth’s voice now, and she sounds about as worried as Rodney feels. “Carson’s here. What happened?” “Can’t talk now! Trying to fly and not, you know, crash and send us both to our deaths in the horrifically vast ocean. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.” “Rodney!” “Just have them standing by!” He cuts off the comm system and glances down at John who has not yet regained consciousness. “Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay.” It becomes his mantra as he somehow manages to navigate the jumper back to the city and into the bay. He barely has time to lower the door before a med team is swarming in and before Rodney has a chance to so much as breathe, they’re gone, John with them. There’s a small bit of blood on the floor from where John was laying and Rodney has to work very hard not to throw up. ---- It’s dark in the hallway, save for the faint blue glow emanating from the center of the wall closest to him. He reaches out, hand pressing against it and he can feel the thrum of hurt intensifying, adding to what’s already there in his head. He staggers at the force of it, drops to his knees and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes in an attempt to stave off the pounding of his head. But this isn’t his hurt, he realizes after a moment. It’s hers, and that thought alone is enough to force him back to his feet, hand reaching out to touch that blue light again. This time, he feels an almost burning heat fanning out from the center of his hand as the blue expands and he watches as it begins to creep across the wall, almost as if it’s beckoning him to follow. He’s never been good at following orders and he has the record to prove it, but he finds his feet moving, seemingly of their own accord, allowing the glow to lead him down the darkened hallway for what seems like forever until it stops, finally, at a room he doesn’t quite recognize. “Why am I here?” Because I need your help, she answers

back, the words cool and gentle within his mind. Find me, John Sheppard. Before it’s too late. “Before what’s too late? What are you trying to tell me?” But she’s already receding from his mind and all he’s left with is a light so bright that penetrates the darkness as John opens his eyes. --- Rodney’s there when John finally comes to under the bright lights of the infirmary. “Oh thank God,” he says as he slumps back into the chair, running a hand across his forehead. “Far be it from me to say I told you so, but--.” He doesn’t get a chance to finish before John is sitting up so quickly that it makes Rodney a bit dizzy, kicking the blankets off of his legs. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He stands up, pressing a hand to John’s shoulder to ease him back down onto the mattress and Ronon is on the other side of the bed, doing the same. “Where do you think you’re goin’?” The Satedan asks in his natural rumble. “I have to help her,” John says and Rodney suddenly finds himself a bit miffed at that. “Help who?” He asks and if he sounds a little pissy, he thinks he’s probably allowed because you know, he’s the one been sitting at John’s bedside for the last several hours, worried very much about the possibility of brain damage and now that he’s awake, the first thing he mentions is some second rate harlot and--. “The city,” he rasps and he grabs Ronon’s wrist, trying to force it off of him. “Something’s wrong with the city.” “What? The city is fine,” Rodney says, but he’s reaching for his tablet anyway, pulling up the city schematics to scan over quickly, searching for any indication that something was not right. “See?” He says, and he turns the tablet to face John so he can see for himself. “The back up teams cleaned everything up nicely, there’s absolutely nothing that would indicate--.” “Rodney,” he says and there’s an almost wild look in his eyes as he glances up at the scientist, seemingly pleading with him to just listen. “They missed something. There’s something wrong, we have to--.” “Aye,” Carson greets, a smile on his face. “There ya are. Ya had us quite worried there for a bit. I’d still like to run a few scans--.” Rodney tunes him out as he searches John’s face and he supposes that there is a possibility that something was missed. It’s a huge city, many parts that they’ve yet to explore and the Wraith attack had been devastating. He rationalizes that this could also possibly be attributed to some sort of brain injury, what with the bleeding and the passing out and everything but something in John’s eyes gives him pause. Whatever’s brought him to this conclusion, John seems to truly believe that there’s something wrong with their city, with their home and while Rodney isn’t apt to act without actual evidenced based data, he finds that he can’t quite let this go without investigating. “Stop,” he says, holding up a hand to Carson. “We need to go.” “Go? What are ye on about?” Carson asks, clearly annoyed at the interruption. “We still don’ know what caused the bleedin’ an’--.” “Something’s wrong with the city,” Rodney says, echoing John’s previous statement. “We have to go.” Ronon glances at Rodney from across John’s bed and when Rodney gives a barely there nod, Ronon crowds Carson, gently ushering him away. “Sorry, doc.” “Oh, ye can’t be serious! Rodney!” “Can you stand?” Rodney asks John, and he reaches for him, carefully like he’s not sure where it’s okay to touch, especially in public, but John’s hand grabs his wrists and he squeezes gently. “Thank you.” “If you really want to thank me,” Rodney says dryly, “you can do so by not passing out on me again during what is sure to be a long trip around the city. “I’ll do my best,” John answers solemnly and Rodney supposes that’s as good as it gets. --- It’s dark outside, the Lantean sun having set several hours ago. They’ve split up into groups, Ronon and Teyla, Lorne and McMasters, John and Rodney. They’ve had absolutely no luck in finding anything of consequence and Rodney is trying very hard not to lose his temper because he’s

tried to show John on the tablet several times now that everything still shows all is well, but John is insistent. Desperate even, only growing moreso the farther away they get from the heart of the city. “Teyla, Ronon, this is McKay. Anything?” “No, Rodney,” Teyla answers back almost immediately. “It seems as though everything is still working as it should over this way.” “Lorne?” “All good here, doc. I’m gonna suggest we call it, at least for the night. Some of these labs haven’t properly been cleared yet, I’d like to--.” “No,” John says and when Rodney glances over to give him an exasperated glare, he realizes that John’s nose is bleeding again. “John, what are you--!” “This is the hallway,” he tells Rodney, reaching up to wipe the blood away, smearing it to his cheek. “This is… she needs us…” He reaches out and touches the wall and Rodney watches as it pulsates under his hand, a blue glow flickering to life. He’s always known that Atlantis liked John better than she liked anyone else, has seen it in the way rooms light up for him, the effortless way in which John activates all her tech, but this… this is something else. She’s actually communicatingwith him, he knows it. “Three levels above the east pier,” Rodney says into his comm. “Teyla—” “We are already on our way,” and over the radio, Rodney can hear the heavy footfalls of their feet against the floor. Rodney doesn’t realize that John has walked away, not at first, until he turns to see the glow halfway down the hall, barely illuminating John’s figure as it guides him further into the darkness. Rodney follows, and suddenly, John stops outside of a door. “Is this it?” Rodney asks, but he already knows the answer to the question. He slides his hand over the crystal, but the door doesn’t budge, not that Rodney expected it to. “Okay,” he says, and his voice is gentle now, perhaps more gentle than it’s ever been, but there’s something about the pinched look on John’s face that honestly, truly worries him. It reminds him of how he looked on the jumper, right before he, you know, passed out. He checks his tablet, but he knows it’s a moot point because the city is off-line down here, which is why they never knew there was a problem. The sensors just don’t reach this far, but he thinks he should be able to still get the door open. “John,” Rodney says, and there’s no response. “John.” But John seems not to hear him as he reaches for the door, fingers gripping the edge as he tries, desperately, to pull it open. “Oh, oh. Yes.” Rodney puts the tablet down carefully and he moves to the other side, glancing at John to follow his lead and as John pulls again, the noise that escapes him sends a shiver down Rodney’s spine. He screams as the door finally slides open and now, Rodney notices the blood trickling out of John’s ear, just in time to grab John as he crumples, guiding him to the floor. “Rodney!” Teyla’s voice echoes down the hallway, and Rodney calls back, voice nearing on hystericalas he situates himself below John to pillow his head on his lap. “Here! We’re here!” Ronon comes into view first, gun aimed, followed quickly by Teyla. “We heard screaming, what—John?” “It’s Atlantis!” Rodney says, “She’s using John to communicate, there’s something--.” Ronon needs to hear no more as he slips through the opened door and a second later, there’s the sound of laser fire. Rodney’s petting over John gently, shaking him gently, pleading with him to wake up but it’s to no avail. Teyla has disappeared inside of the room that John brought them to and Rodney risks a fraction of a moment to lean down, letting his lips brush against John’s forehead. “Please, please, please wake up.” John resolutely does not. --- “Did we do it?” He’s somewhere quiet and he’s alone, but he can feel her around him, leaving him warm and comforted, reminding him very much of being wrapped up in his mother’s embrace when he was seven and had the flu. He remembers that because before coming to Atlantis, it was the last time he felt well and

truly loved because she’d died less than three weeks later. You did, and he closes his eyes, letting her warmth wash over him. The pain is gone, both his and hers, he realizes and there’s a feeling of contriteness that settles inside of him, like she’s saying she’s sorry and he guesses she means for basically hijacking his mind. But, as unsettling as it should be, he finds that he’s always known she was there, really. The gentle thrumming, the quiet humming of her power he feels tucked away somewhere in the back of his mind. She wasn’t trying to hurt him, he knows. It’s not just his found family that cares for him, not just Rodney… but her too. There will be no lasting damage, she promises him and the warmth begins to recede, just a bit. To either you or me. But please tell Doctor McKay not to be too angry with me. The darkness is fading now with her and he’s not really sure why she thinks Rodney would be upset with her. He tries to ask, but the feeling of a gentle hand in his hair, a quiet murmuring of voices, breaks through and John closes his eyes, letting it guide him out of the dark. Thank you once again, John Sheppard. You saved us all. --- “—still don’t understand how we didn’t know it was here,” Elizabeth says and Rodney has to fight not to roll his eyes because they’ve been over this, he’s explained it ad nauseum. “The life signs detector is tied in directly with the city’s power grid,” he says exasperatedly and he thinks about reaching for his tablet as a nice visual aide but somewhere along the way, his hand had settled into John’s hair and it’s so soft that he kind of doesn’t want to pull it away. He doesn’t know if it brings John any comfort, but it brings him some, feeling the warmth of the other under his hand and damn if he’ll let anyone take that away from him. Even at the sake of his own sanity for having to go through this again. “That part of the city still doesn’t get any power. No power means it can’t communicate with us. We never would’ve known.” “… never would’ve known what?” The raspy voice from the bed asks and Rodney very nearly topples out of his chair as he yanks his hand back, gaping down at John, and “oh, thank god!” “Wraith,” Ronon says by way of explanation, like it’s the most natural thing in the world and Rodney supposes maybe it is. After all, at least for right now, it’s the Wraith that’s proved to be their biggest pain in the ass. “Technically, a Wraith transmitter,” Rodney corrects and he can’t quite tear his eyes away. “The Wraith was.. well, indisposed, as it was. How are you feeling?” “What d’y’mean ‘indisposed’?” “It blew itself up when it realized that the room was heavily shielded and that the beacon couldn’t get through,” Ronon says and Rodney glares at him, because he’sthe one who likes to do all the explaining, thank you very much. “Blew a hole in the wall almost the size of a jumper.” “Yes, well,” Rodney says, steering the conversation back, “somehow, there was some sort of a fail safe built into the city’s infrastructure. There was a kind of a force field where the wall used to be, not unlike that of the cells, but with no power, it wouldn’t have held much longer. When it failed, that thing would’ve sent our coordinates to every Wraith hive ship in the galaxy and well, the ruse would’ve been up. But enough about that, how are you feeling?” “Kinda like I got hit by a truck,” John says and he shifts on the bed to sit up a bit more. “The transmitter’s been taken care of?” “Blasted into almost as many pieces as the Wraith,” Ronon says proudly and Teyla squeezes his arm gently. “We are very glad that you are awake, John,” she says diplomatically, “but perhaps it would be best if we let you rest?” “Whaddya mean? That’s all he’s been doing,” Ronon scoffs, but Teyla tugs at his arm anyway, bless her. “Come,” she says. “Elizabeth, perhaps I could help you in your office, go over the schedule for the teams set to search the rest of the city?” And whatever look she shares with Elizabeth has her nodding, turning to give them both a

smile. “Of course, thank you Teyla,” she says and she reaches out for John, squeezing his arm gently. “Good to have you back with us, John.” John lifts a hand in response as everyone filters out, leaving him and Rodney alone. “You’re an idiot,” Rodney says, just because it’s expected of him, has become part of their standard routine whenever John lands himself in the infirmary. “For what?” “Oh, I don’t know, for letting a sentient city scramble your brains.” “She said she’s sorry, you know,” John says and Rodney rolls his eyes. “Of course she did. And when did we decide that she was a sheafter all? I suppose it makes sense, what with the way women across twogalaxies fawn over you, the famous Colonel Kirk.” “It’s okay to be jealous, Rodney.” “Excuse me? I am not jealous! I just think it’s a little funny that--.” “She even said she hopes you’re not too mad at her,” John interrupts. “What? Why would she care about that?” “I dunno,” he shrugs and he lays back against the pillow, closing his eyes. “Guess she knows how important you are to me. Probably wouldn’t wanna get in your bad graces…” He still can’t get used to this, this… thing. Where they care about each other, but have finally matured enough emotionally to say it out loud. “Yes well,” Rodney sniffs, and settles his hand back against John’s hair, “I’ll forgive her this time. But you tell that harlot--!” “Rodney,” John groans, “she said she’s sorry.” “Alright, alright,” he says and he leans forward, maybe a bit hesitantly, before he presses his lips against John’s. “I’m just… glad you’re okay.” “Yeah,” John agrees. “Me too, buddy. Now how about less talking and more hair petting?” Frankly, there’s nowhere else Rodney would rather be. “Go back to sleep, dummy.” “With pleasure.”

#mcshep #sga fic #fandom: sga #john sheppard #rodney mckay #john sheppard whump #sentient!atlants #post the siege #unofficial sequel #stargate atlantis #sga #john sheppard/rodney mckay

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

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VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)

yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao

word count: 5.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.

Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been.

You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.

This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already.

You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.

Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.

At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind.

These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea.

After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:

“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”

His response came quickly.

“Done. Both.”

You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.

Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.

“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.

You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.

“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”

“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”

“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.

“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.

“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”

“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table.

You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently.

“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.

“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.

“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.

“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth.

“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”

“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.

The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.

“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”

Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion.

“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”

His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…

Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.

“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way.

You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.

“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.

“Oh.”

“And… it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”

Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.

“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”

You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.

“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”

“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”

You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him.

“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.

“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”

“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”

“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”

“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”

“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”

“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”

“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.

“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.

“I… I’m not sure.”

“That sounded more like a no.”

“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”

“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”

“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”

Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.

“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”

You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.

“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”

“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.

“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”

“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.

“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”

“Harry…”

“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”

You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again.

Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?

It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run.

He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance.

***

It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did.

You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all.

For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.

Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.

“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.

“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.

“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.

“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”

The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.

“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.

“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.

“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”

You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”

“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.

“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”

“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.

“Baba!” she exclaims.

“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.

When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.

“You want me to give you a ride?”

“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”

“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”

“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.

Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”

“Uh, sure. It is.”

“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”

“Great. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, babe.”

The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.

“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.

“Um… neutral, I guess?”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands.

“That’s nice, was it his idea?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”

“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”

“Harry, I…”

“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.

“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”

“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.

“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.

“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”

“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”

Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.

“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”

“What?”

“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.

Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.

“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind.

Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.

“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”

“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”

“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”

“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.

“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”

“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”

At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.

“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”

Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.

“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”

“What?” you gasp.

“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.

“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”

“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.

“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”

He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again.

“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”

“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”

“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”

“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”

Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.

“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”

“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”

“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”

You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?

You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away.

“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.

“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”

“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”

At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.

“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.

By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor.

Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.

It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions.

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marshmallow-phd · 3 years ago

Text

Scarlet Moon

Genre: Scarlet Heart Ryeo!AU, Time Travel!AU, Alternate History, Royalty!AU

Pairing: OC x EXO OT9

Summary: This isn’t Gwen’s time. She was from the modern era, with technology and electricity. But during a solar eclipse, she’s transported back into a previous life in a time and place she does not know. Now, as the foreign daughter of a merchant living in a prince’s household, she must tread carefully, watch her back, and guard her heart. But with the princes locked in a battle over the throne, the chances of her making it out alive might disappear.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3

********

The bright sun felt warm against Gwen’s skin. Chae Ryung half-heartedly chastised her about burning her face, but Gwen hardly gave a listen. It felt like it had been years since she’d simply stopped and took in the light. All she ever did was go to work, do her schoolwork, and watch dramas. She never really took much time for simply… being. After a minute or so, Chase Ryung convinced her to keep walking through the courtyard, but she still went slow, taking in everything.

The other servants would stop in the middle of their work and glance at Gwen in a fashion they might have thought was sneaky, but was, in fact, fairly obvious. Some gave looks of concern, others, it felt like, of awe. Gwen ran her fingers through her hair, the red catching in the sunlight. She stuck out more here than she ever did back home and it made her stomach queasy.

“So, Chae Ryung,” Gwen finally said, “what is it that I usually do during the day?”

“All day?” she echoed. She pursed her lips side to side as she thought. “Mostly you keep Lady Hae company. She’s a bit lonely as Prince Suho’s wife. You’re the closest to her station here.”

Suho. An interesting name for a prince. I remembered Papa inquiring after the pale but beautiful woman in ornate clothing. “And she’s sick?”

Chae Ryung nodded sorrowfully. After looking over her shoulder, she lowered her voice as she leaned in. “Some are worried that she doesn’t have much longer and the prince still doesn’t have an heir.”

“Is it that bad?”

Chae Ryung nodded again. Gwen’s heart went out to the beautifully tragic woman. In the single moment she’d met the Lady of the household, Gwen could tell that she had a kind heart. The look of worry and concern was etched in her mind, not a single twitch giving away possible deception. Spending her days with Lady Hae didn’t seem like too terribly a time. Perhaps she could be another person to lean on, to help Gwen when she stumbled. Because she would certainly be stumbling every other step in this place.

Gwen and Chae Ryung wandered around the grounds for hours, the latter filling Gwen in on what she couldn’t put together for herself.

Apparently, this Gwen had had a tendency to be a bit rambunctious, taking liking to archery just as much as needlework. Often, she would be caught joining in the servant boys in whatever rough game they were playing that day. Not exactly a good look for the daughter of a wealthy merchant. It had to be a comical sight, the horrified looks this girl must have produced from the other women around the household as a child. But over the last few years, she’d calmed to be a bit more demure. Chae Ryung went into explaining the wide gray area Gwen was given as an outsider. Though this girl knew the rules of society, she was able to bend them ever so slightly.

Excellent.

Coming up on the path was a pond, round and expanding, the edges lined with tall grass and fresh flowers that gave off calming scents. A family of little ducks floated on top of the clear water. Fish in bright colors of oranges and yellows swam freely, their tails creating the slightest ripples on the surface. As they walked around the water, Chae Ryung described a beautiful gazebo that this Gwen apparently loved to hide away in when she wanted to be alone. Disappointingly, though, the gazebo was already occupied by the Prince and Lady Hae.

Looking like a happy but conservative couple, they drank tea together and spoke softly. Prince Suho smiled at his wife as he brought the teacup to his lips, but as his eyes drifted over to the spot where Gwen stood, the smile changed.

It deepened, almost. An uncomfortable feeling settled in Gwen’s stomach. She smiled back, though, and waved, to remain polite. She was probably reading into things or misunderstanding them. Prince Suho held back a laugh before turning back to his wife. She still didn’t fully understand the dynamics of this world and could easily misinterpret his actions. And her head still slightly throbbed, so that could be clouding her thoughts as well.

“It’s inappropriate to stare at a married couple’s private moments,” a high voice snipped.

Confused, Gwen turned to find an elegantly dressed girl close to her age. Or, rather, this body’s age since this Gwen was a few years younger than the body she’d left behind.

This new girl’s face was pretty, but it was destroyed by the snobbish and self-satisfied look she wore. Chae Ryung bowed deeply, but Gwen stayed erect. Bowing was not something that came as second nature to her and she didn’t want to do it for just anyone. Not surprisingly, this defiance deepened the annoyance on the girl’s face even more. Sensing danger, Chae Ryung forced Gwen into a bow.

“Greetings, Your Highness,” Chae Ryung said with a shaky voice. She gave Gwen a pointed glance that was ignored.

“Apparently, not only have you forgotten your memories, but the few manners you ever had as well,” her highness sniffed. “I would be happy to be your teacher. Maybe we can make you a more respectful person this time around.”

“Perhaps we have two different definitions of respect.”

It was subtle, but the girl’s smile strained, stiffening and tightening in the corners. Gwen knew that irritated look all too well from high school. The girls of the popular crowd would often shift into this body language whenever Gwen ignored their insults or countered them with a response they weren’t expecting. It had made her extremely unpopular, but that was never important to her. All she ever cared about was getting out and graduating. It was sad that mean girls had existed back in this time as well.

“How dare you speak to me that way,” the girl hissed. “You think because you’re a freak of nature you can do and say as you please?”

“Just because I look different from you doesn’t mean that I’m a freak of nature!” Gwen shouted. Her nails dug into her palms as she tried to reign in the urge to respond physically. That particular subject had always been a sore spot for her. She didn’t think she was ugly, per se, but she wasn’t a beauty. Society’s standards, as ever changing as they were, always felt too far out of her reach. “Pretty” was not something she ever saw in the mirror. And, unfortunately, this body held the same face.

“What is going on here?”

Gwen stiffened at the Prince’s voice behind her. Slowly, she turned around and bowed deeply. Prince Suho had abandoned his wife at the gazebo to investigate. She hadn’t meant to ruin his date, especially since they probably didn’t get many moments like this. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, Your Highness.”

Prince Suho looked past her to the girl and then back at Gwen. “Perhaps, it’s best for you to go back inside, Lady Gwen. I don’t want you to tire yourself out and I fear it might get colder. ”

Nodding, Gwen bowed again and walked away. There was no point in arguing. Besides, she didn’t want to hang around this self-important girl, who she didn’t dare give a passing glance to and give her the satisfaction of besting her. Once out of sight, however, Gwen’s bravado deflated.

“Who was that girl?” She bit her bottom lip in a very unladylike manner as she slouched against the outer wall of a red-painted building.

Chae Ryung tutted nervously. “That was Princess Yeon Hwa. You’re lucky that her brother stepped in.”

That girl was Prince Suho’s sister? Gwen shuddered, feeling sorry for Suho since he had to be related to her. “Mom always said I was too spiteful. But I wasn’t being disrespectful by looking for five seconds. They just looked like a scene out of a movie.”

“A movie?”

Oh, crap. There you go again. “A novel. I meant a novel. They looked like a scene from a book.”

“Oh!” Chae Ryung nodded, though she wore an expression of confusion. “Still it would have been better to apologize and walk away.”

Gwen shrugged. “Maybe next time.”

Looking up at the blue sky, Gwen wanted to pout. It was such a nice day. Even with these layers of clothes, she wasn’t too hot and a nice breeze played with her hair. But Prince Suho had told her to go inside. He must have figured she would cause less trouble there. He also said it might get colder. Gwen hated being cold.

“When I have to stay inside, where do I like to go?” she asked as she looked ot her friend.

Chae Ryung grinned from ear to ear. She seemed excited as she took hold of Gwen’s wrist and pulled her along to a building near the middle of the compound. It wasn’t a large building, with spaces barely able to be called rooms. That hardly deterred the excitement bubbling up in Gwen’s chest.

Inside were wooden shelves, thin and easily seen through. But unlike the thick, hardbound novels Gwen was used to, the books stacked here were thinner, flimsy and held together with twine. Another servant girl shuffled up before they stepped into the room. Chae Ryung was needed elsewhere. She urged Gwen to go on ahead and stay at the library for a few hours.

Within the shelves, she lost herself.

Reading was always a comfort to Gwen, but she tended to lean towards adventurous fiction filled with romance and challenge. She doubted she would find such stories in the Prince’s library. If she could even read these manuscripts.

Gwen blinked, reflecting on her presence here. Somehow, she was able to communicate with the others despite the fact that they weren’t speaking English. The real Gwen’s knowledge - at least, with speaking and reading - somehow had remained behind. As her eyes drifted over the Chinese characters written on the spines, she understood what they said. A small laugh escaped her lips. She’d always wanted to know more than one language. All it took was being transported back in time to a different body.

From what Gwen could make out of the titles of the volumes, they were mostly science based - medical treatments and catalogs of animals and plants - along with a few recorded histories. There were no fictional stories to be found, so Gwen went for the next best thing and grabbed a book that recounted the story of how King Taejo founded Goryeo.

The wording was a bit dry and straight forward, the author giving only the occasional flourish here and there. Still, like any written word, it absorbed her attention. To receive a recount of history from a source so close to the time that it happened was not to be taken lightly. Gwen walked through the aisles as she read, unaware that another visitor had arrived. In the middle of a sentence about a deciding battle, her pacing was stopped by a soft wall. She looked up and sucked in her breath.

Prince Suho.

She bowed, thinking that her back would start aching from all this bending over. “I’m sorry, again, for earlier,” she whispered. It was a sincere apology. Though it wasn’t her fault, she’d egged it on and caused the Prince trouble, which in turn could cause trouble for this Gwen’s father. Both men had been kind to her since she woke up and she didn’t want to repay that kindness by being a burden.

Instead of acknowledging her apology, Prince Suho asked, “Do you really not remember anything?”

Gwen shook her head, unable to meet his eye. She could feel his gaze seering onto her face, however. Warmth tickled at her cheeks and she hoped that it wasn’t a visible heat. The Prince was handsome, with a strong chin and kind eyes. He spoke softly.

“Do you remember why you were at the bathhouse?”

Gwen snapped her head up, confused. Why would he be asking her about a bathhouse? “The bathhouse?” She knew nothing about a bathhouse or what this Gwen would be doing there.

He sighed. “Truly?” Did he not believe her? Did he think she was faking it to avoid getting into trouble?

“I-” she stopped. Would she be punished for something she didn’t even do? She tried to be as sincere and honest as possible. She didn’t know what could be done to her if he didn’t believe her. “I’m sorry. I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Prince Suho didn’t look receptive to her answer, but he backtracked anyway as he looked away. “Perhaps I was merely seeing things,” he murmured to himself. Regaining eye contact, he took a step to shorten the space between them. “When I invited you and your father to stay here, I took it upon myself to look after you, knowing your foreignness would make you a target. I’m afraid I’ve neglected on that duty. It has caused Lady Hae great worry.”

Gwen took a step back, her hands behind her back. “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I think I’m causing you more trouble than I’m worth. I promise, I’ll watch my steps from now on. The last thing I want is to be in the way. If you need anything, I’ll do it. I want to be a help, not a burden.” He nodded, the expression on his face softening slightly. Feeling the conversation was over with that last declaration, she bowed and scurried out of the library after replacing the historical text.

With that haven now compromised, Gwen concluded the best place for her to go was back to her room until dinner.

********

After a few days of managing to stay out of trouble, Gwen ran into Lady Hae on one of her leg-stretching walks. She didn’t seem to be upset about the incident at the gazebo, though she was disappointed that Gwen hadn’t come to see her. Gwen stumbled through an apology, not realizing that she would be so missed. In fact, she thought she was doing everyone a favor by staying out of the way.

Accepting the apology, Lady Hae asked if Gwen would like to learn how to make lotus lanterns for the upcoming festival. Gwen raised her eyebrows in surprise. Thinking it would be fun and distracting, she agreed and followed Lady Hae to one of the buildings with open walls that allowed a gentle breeze to keep them cool. The temperature hadn’t dropped like Prince Suho had predicted. When Gwen saw who was already at work in the building, she instantly regretted her decision to join. A groan was barely suppressed as she sat down beside Lady Hae.

“Lady Hae, I see you brought a friend,” Yeon Hwa sneered cheerfully.

It took willpower, but Gwen managed to ignore the princess’s snide remark, instead focusing on Lady Hae’s explanation of how to put the lanterns together. The glue had a potent smell that stung at Gwen’s nose. No wonder they were in a building that allowed the air to drift in and out. It took a few poor looking lanterns for her to get the hang of it, but finally they looked worthy of being hung up for other people to see. Glancing over at Yeon Hwa’s, Gwen huffed internally. Though they were the same design, the princess’ were begrudgingly far superior.

“Lady Gwen,” Yeon Hwa called out. A faux-sweet smile stretched across her lips. “Why don’t you go take the dry lanterns and put them in the Moon building for storage until the festival?”

Gwen returned a smile just as fake. “Of course.”

Chae Ryung, who had joined the group soon after Gwen’s arrival, stepped forward. “I can take them, my lady.”

“Lady Gwen is perfectly capable of carrying them herself,” Yeon Hwa snapped. The evil look gleamed in her eyes, as if she were punishing Gwen with such menial labor.

Little did she know the request didn’t bother Gwen in the slightest. She was giving the perfect excuse to leave her presence. While making the lanterns, Gwen’s mind had wandered towards the village beyond the walls and - with everyone occupied here – sneaking out on her own should be easy enough. She wanted to see more of this world that she now resided in.

Filling up her arms with as much as they could carry, Gwen shuffled up the hill, following the directions Chae Ryung had given to the Moon building.

“Gwen, you’re out of your room.”

Papa walked up, a smile on his face causing the corners of his eyes to crinkle. He seemed out of place in the Goryeo fashion he donned, yet comfortable as the shiny fabric swayed around his legs. He wore the hanbok with dignity and ease. Back home, Gwen prefered less complicated clothing and was still adjusting to the multilayered dresses that needed an extra pair of hands to put on.

“Yes,” Gwen said. “I was helping Lady Hae make lanterns for the festival.” She held them up proudly for him to see.

“Those are very beautiful,” he complimented. Gwen’s smile stretched farther across her lips at the praise. “I’m happy to see that you’re getting back to your old self.”

The joy in his eyes was almost too overwhelming. Gwen thought back to her own father, with whom she was close. They seemed so much alike. Tears threatened to brim her eyes. Within the last few days, she’d grown an affection for this man. He was patient with her and caring. And, as an outsider himself, a small connection that she clung to. “I’m happy that you’re happy, Papa.”

“I have some business to oversee at the house. Please, stay out of trouble.” He gave her a kiss on the head and resumed in the direction he was headed before.

Continuing on her own way, Gwen barely reached the steps of the Moon building before a man in brown clothes ran, bowed, and took the lanterns to store them. He must have been a servant in the Prince’s household. She hadn’t seen him before but she gladly handed the lanterns over. Thankful that her task was now over, she waited and watched as the servant hung the lanterns up on a long string inside the open doors. Now it was time to explore. Taking a different path, she headed for the gate.

This place was certainly different. Monarchies weren't as widespread in her own time, most nations having moved on to people-elected governments instead of blood-appointed kings. Though it was different, Gwen appreciated the underlining respect that drove this culture. The differences in formal and informal speech and the hierarchy of that respect ran deep within the people. The mutual heritage they all shared made her a bit jealous. She was from a place that didn’t have that.

The sound of drums broke through her thoughts. They were deep, rhythmic, calling out to anyone who wanted to listen. Answering the call, Gwen followed them.

In a giant dirt courtyard near the palace stood about six figures, some dressed in red, others in black. They were spaced equally apart in a square structure. Gwen hid among the archways, too fascinated to walk away like she should have. The figures danced in unison and with power – except one of the men in red, who was lacking enthusiasm and proper rhythm. The others noticed and stopped their dance, the drums fading out as well. They all stared at the one who had finished incorrectly as he flopped down to the ground. Gwen covered her mouth to soften the giggled. He was throwing a fit. A grown man by the looks of him, he was acting like a spoiled child. Among the figures was Prince Suho, who seemed exasperated at the situation.

So, those must be the other princes.

This festival must be important, if royalty was performing. Gwen made a mental note to have Chae Ryung explain it in more detail when she went back to the compound.

A few of the princes ganged up on the one on the ground, criticizing him for still getting the moves wrong after such a long practice. Huffing, the one on the ground jumped up. He pointed a long finger and accused another brother of making a mistake as well. Gwen laughed loudly at their altercation, the noise pushing through her fingers. Prince Suho glanced up in her direction. She took off, scared to be caught.

Once among the common people, Gwen’s mind eased. She wandered around the city, trying to ignore the whispers and stares that followed. The market was abundant with people. Men gossiped with their friends while the women picked over the vegetables and meats, inspecting for any impurities. Children played loudly and ran through the streets, uncaring if their feet were covered in mud. Different stalls caught Gwen’s attention, some selling soaps and bath grains, others selling intricate hairpins that sparkled under the sun. She made a mental note to ask Papa to come with her next time to buy a few wares. Maybe Chae Ryung could teach her how to place the pins in her hair.

Leaving behind the market, Gwen came to a small bridge over a shallow river. The water flowed steadily, uninterrupted. She stared down at her blurry reflection, wondering how she could still look so much like herself. There was no railing to obstruct the view, so she bent down for a closer look.

The face looking back was still round and pale, the soft jaw line giving a youthful appeal. Red hair fell natural, gentle waves that never liked to obey. Not even the multiple hairpins keeping it out of her face could tame it completely. Sea green eyes sat in hooded sockets on either side of a thin nose and average lips. Freckles dotted the bridge of her nose and apples of her large cheeks from years of sun exposure. Forced to come back to a time that wasn’t hers, the least magic could have done was improve her looks.

The cries of the villagers reached her ears too late. Searching for the source of the hysterics, Gwen stood and turned as the villagers ducked out of sight. A mad man on a black horse galloped through the market. The rider didn’t care about others around him. He didn’t look back behind him or stop to check on those who dived out of his path. A villager with a traveling pack hanging from his shoulders scurried across the bridge to run away from the rider. In his haste, he knocked into Gwen. She lost her balance, flailing her arms worthlessly, and began to fall into the river that had served as my mirror just moments ago. She closed her eyes and braced for impact with the surly cold water. But it didn’t come.

A steadfast grip snatched her by her waist. When she opened her eyes to see who had saved her from the water, she was face to face with the rider.

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fangirlyah · 4 years ago

Text

✦kind queen of narnia - Edmund Pevensie x Reader

summary: a new prophecy for the narnia’s kingdom. a new member joining the kings and queens. but...who is it?

warnings: cursing

word count: 3,597

a/n: mi first edmund one shot, i’m so happy!

according to the books the ages of the characters should be different, but in this one-shot their ages will be those agreed by wikipedia reasoning with the actors’ age in the year of recording of the second film (it is an approximation):

Peter - 20

Susan - 17

Edmund - 15/16

Lucy - 12

Prince Caspian - 26

narnia, what a place.

anyone from england would look at y/n and the pevensie brothers in horror if they were told about this beautiful world full of fairytale creatures and landscapes.

they would probably be frightened if they were told that all narnians were preparing to face the telmarines; it would be their second battle in defence of their beloved lands.

they would also worry if they were told that there were prophecies dictating the fate of the teenagers.

the pevensies had been in narnia for a long time. they had grown up and reached adulthood there while time in england had barely passed. their first visit to the dream place had been when edmund was just ten years old and as the prophecy dictated he had betrayed his brother and sisters and then recomposed himself to follow the right path as a faithful ruler of narnia and become king edmund, the just.

when edmund was twenty years old in the narnian world, a gryphon passed over him and dropped a neatly rolled papyrus.

when his time on this earth comes to an end

a damsel with the purity of water and the sweetness of honey will get her start

if you listen well, attachment will flourish

if you listen badly, there will be pain

she is made to avoid pain in all

she is made to bring back peace

that doesn't even rhyme, he thought, and it doesn't make sense either.

even though the prophecy that had just arrived at his whereabouts was revealed to his brother and sisters, none of them understood, what girl was it talking about?

everything took on colour, when a thin figure collapsed against lucy at the train station.

"oh no! i'm so sorry, sweetheart" a girl of about sixteen years of age, apologized sincerely to the little girl who had been moved abruptly by the teenage girl's body. "i thought i was missing my train and i got terribly scared" the y/h/c outlined a sweet smile.

"there is no reason to apologise, we all make mistakes...my name is lucy and these are my brothers and my sister" the little girl stretched out her hand to shake it with y/n’s, while the other pointed behind her to three teenagers in uniform.

a pretty girl with striking eyes introduced herself as susan, while another slim blond boy said his name was peter. the third was immersed in his search for the train's arrival time, so he did not notice the conversation in front of him, the signs on the station walls seemed to be more interesting. "he is edmund...sorry he is half a fool" as he heard his name, the raven-haired boy looked up to meet a beautiful and delicate girl laughing at the comment his sister had made.

"my name is y/n, it is a pleasure to meet you" her gaze travelled through each member of the family leaving them with a smile; when it was edmund's turn her smile did not come down even though the one he showed her was hasty and if she had not been paying attention she would have missed it.

"where were you about to leave in such a hurry?" peter asked as the five of them move away due to some guards passing at full speed by their side, being all cornered against the wall the best decision they made was to take a seat, side by side, on a bench.

"my parents live in the countryside of england, and because of my school I haven't seen them for a long time so I didn't want to miss my train" y/n explained feeling the look of all the them.

"we were on our way there too! we must visit professor kirke, we haven't seen him for a long time"

that was their first meeting, the first meeting of many. y/n and the pevensies developed the closest and most faithful friendship in the world. they spent all their holidays enjoying the countryside together and when school resumed, they took several trains and walked several blocks just to see each other almost every week.

and although their meetings were frequent edmund did not always seem pleased by her presence. the months passed and although y/n began to develop a crush on the freckle boy he seemed to ignore her every move. even when she bought his favourite sweets to share with everyone or when she would sneak a compliment on his attire on some special occasion. y/n was good at hiding her feelings so only susan knew and she hoped it would stay that way.

it was not until the five of them were waiting for their train to leave for their respective boarding school that the action began.

the train they were to board disappeared and with it the whole station around them, leaving lucy, peter, edmund, susan and y/n standing on a paradise beach.

the brothers began to walk towards the white sand, leaving the cave where they had landed, followed by a shocked y/n

"where are we?” when lucy heard y/n's voice she looked at her sister with a smile and then started to run, getting rid of their school uniforms.

"come on, y/n!" peter shouted as he dipped his feet into the clear water.

she did not resist and followed her friends, leaving a few clothes to play in the water.

edmund saw her laughing, with her wet hair, in the sun and remembered how in love he was with the girl he ignored so much.

"what is it?" asked peter as he saw his brother stop having fun; edmund couldn't admit that the sight of y/n had knocked him out so he had to improvise.

"where do you suppose that we are?

"it's pretty obvious, isn't it? we are in narnia” by this time, the girls had stopped their water fight and were paying attention to the boys.

"well...i don't remember any ruins in narnia”

"narnia?! you must be joking?!" y/n exclaimed.

"yes, narnia" peter said, looking at her as if nothing was happening.

"but...narnia...the narnia you told me as a story from when you were children?"

"they are not stories..."

with that, the brothers began to tour the meadows where, 1300 years ago, cair paravel was located. where now only ruins remained of what had been their home.

the surprise of y/n was not erased and even less so when they found the prophecy that dictated their destiny.

"edmund! this was the prophecy that appeared to you” susan was right but edmund did not want y/n to know that for some magical reason the prophecy had come to HIS hands.

"what? a prophecy about me?" y/n posed her body next to peter who had the paper in his hands.

"no one enters narnia without a purpose" the little pevensie sister explained.

"there is no way i can be this girl! i have no talent, i am not so-"

peter interrupted her by placing his hands on the girl's thin shoulders.

"you may think so, but narnia and its magic is more powerful than ourselves and our supposed abilities"

edmund had to swallow hard not to go and take the girl from his brother's arms. he had no right to take her away. edmund did not know how to approach her so their contact was minimal, to the misfortune of both of them.

those days continued peacefully and then chaos erupted throughout the kingdom.

aslan disappeared and newcomer caspian caused maximum tension.

although the pevensie, caspian, and trumpkin had taken it upon themselves to make her aware of what was going on around her, she was still afraid. she had many people trusting her actions and that they would return the peace.

she had always been a leader and narnia was no exception. y/n was equal to peter and caspian in decision making as she was cunning and quick in making decisions but when it came to attacking came her weakness. there was no feeling inside her body that would leave her conscience clear if she killed or injured any human or creature.

although edmund kept his countenance neutral when it came to her, his heart melted whenever she mentioned her lack of courage to hold a weapon and go on the attack.

"y/n, you coming?" caspian turned on his axis before leaving for the battle on the castle of miraz.

"i can help with maps, plans and strategies but with this...i can't, sorry”

edmund had heard several creatures criticize the girl's lack of courage to confront a hand-to-hand fight; and he could not help but think that he maybe was disappointed by her attitude too.

"why is she here if she can't even pick up a weapon, of any kind, without shaking?" the freckled boy would adjust his armor before going into battle.

"don't be mean, edmund. she is too good to go out and kill someone" his older sister tried to talk some sense into him, especially because before edmund entered the room where susan was, y/n had retired just a few seconds before but susan knew that she was not far enough not to hear their conversation; and hear the boy who she liked talk so badly about her would not be a nice moment.

"or she's too much of a coward" was a fact, y/n was listening to the whole conversation, as she felt her heart breaking.

"if she bothers you so much that she doesn't fight, show her. you are the best at using the sword in combat in all of narnia"

"I won't" at the end of the day he wasn't so brave after all.

now it was y/n who ignored him. whether in meetings or in their free time, she did not even give him a glance and he noticed. because edmund was very attentive to what she was doing or not doing, so it was not difficult for him to see her practicing with prince caspian her fighting, on the beach, more than one afternoon while he went for his walks.

it hurt him but he knew that her distancing was his fault.

caspian did not question the reason for the girl's drastic change, he only offered to help her and she accepted.

they spent hours covered in sweat and sand but she did not seem to mind, she wanted to prove a point to edmund and herself. her days were divided into training, alone or with others, and creating plans and strategies. her rest was almost non-existent and her tired figure was beginning to show. her breakfasts were short and quick like any other meal of the day. she ate with her head down and conversed with anyone but edmund.

one cool night edmund tried to sleep in his large room but the sound of a sword moving and colliding with a shield prevented him from doing so. from the high window it was impossible for him to decipher where it came from but he assumed that it meant no danger as none of the guards seemed alert; but he still descended in search of the owner of the sound.

when he entered the courtyard below his room he saw her. covered in sweat and with her sword in her hand as she moved abruptly against an armament tied to a tree. edmund found y/n’s invention very ingenious and was even more surprised to see her move almost perfectly, it seemed almost natural to her.

"what are you doing here at this hour?" after minutes of watching her from a few meters away, the younger pevensie brother approached.

"I could ask you the same thing" y/n did not even move her eyes, she just approached the tree to accommodate the armor tied with leather.

"I was trying to sleep but an unbearable noise woke me up, Ijust wanted to know who was causing it...now I know"

“I didn't know it was so annoying" edmund still couldn't see her face.'' I'll stop now..."

gently, despite being preparing to go out and kill men and creatures, she put her sword in its compartment hanging from her hip, and then dried her face with a wet piece of cloth.

"why are you doing this anyway?"

"some people don't believe me strong enough to fulfill the prophecy...they think I'm a coward" y/n looked into his eyes for the first time and edmund understood what she meant.

"you should stop. you look exhausted, besides I didn't-"

"keep it to yourself..." already when she had passed the freckle boy's body petrified in the garden, y/n continue "and it seems that it is never enough, so yes. if I need to keep practicing"

edmund knew that she was absolutely right. before she started her daily combat lessons, she gave everything she had from what she could. she had taken risks and was adapting to being the future queen of a place, which until a while ago, was completely unknown for her.

y/n would not admit it but that night she cried like never before. she did not know exactly if it was tiredness, confusion, sadness or that she was heartbroken. but whatever the right choice was, that night she fainted in a tearful dream without managing to take off her sweaty clothes.

the next morning she appeared at breakfast as if nothing had happened. clean and unpolluted in a freshly washed and ironed dress that accentuated every attribute she had. lucy had heard her crying and was dying to ask what was so terrifying that made her cry like that, but seeing her serious countenance when y/n saw her brother sitting at the table, despite her young age, lucy easily put it together.

after preventing jadis, the white witch, return to narnia. caspian and his allies had no choice but to confront the troops of miraz in front of the altozano. meanwhile, lucy and susan were leaving in search of aslan. y/n did not go with them. she remained at the site of the battle.

when everyone was out ready to fight, so was she. edmund had seen her keep medical supplies anywhere in the armour she found space with the intention of helping any wounded being she might encounter. he felt extremely guilty; she did not want to be there and should not have been. she could have quietly stayed in the shelter ready to help anyone who came looking for a hand but he had pressed her with words he did not even feel.

to gain time the camp became a personal battle between peter and miraz. both begin to fight to the death. both armies gathered around the stone platform where the two men were fighting hand to hand. edmund looked at y/n who was standing next to a centaur with her perfectly placed weaponry; her serious countenance hid any doubt or fear that her brain was processing.

although the elder pevensie managed to have a dying miraz in front of him, peter did not kill him.

"you are too much of a coward to take a life, king peter?" miraz, despite being on his knees almost dead, kept on fighting.

"it's not mine to take"

with that said, the blond man stepped back to give the sword to y/n; who looked at them perplexed. she understood that she must do so to fulfill the prophecy. she had all eyes on her and her trembling hands that took the sword and stood before the wounded man.

edmund saw tears welling up in her beautiful eyes as she looked down at miraz. y/n placed the tip of the sword on the man's neck with her chest rising and falling violently.

the freckled boy wanted to run towards her to hug and kiss all her nerves and fears away but he couldn't.

as the seconds passed and the girl did not move from her place, a laugh was heard in the telmarine’s army and that was the limit.

edmund gently approached the girl and placed his hands on top of the sword taking it out of her hands

"let go, it's okay" he whispered as, with the help of his hands, he pushed her back to where she was before.

by that point the tears had already come out of her eyes and at that moment she felt like a real coward. she felt the disappointed looks despite her head being down and the tall stature of edmund in front of her limiting her view.

"stupid girl, this is not the girl of the prophecy! she is just an idio-"

when edmund wanted to turn around and finish the work that peter had started, an arrow pierced miraz’s chest and chaos began.

despite her blurred vision, y/n remained on the battlefield. she had escaped from edmund's side when the war cries were first heard.

although she did not use her sword she was fast enough to escape the attacks and manage to help those wounded in the meadows.

the two armies were facing each other in battle and when the narnians were about to lose, lucy found aslan. the lion awakened the narnian trees, allowing them to come to the aid of the narnian army.

amidst the screams and sounds of colliding swords, aslan called out to the water god, who drowns much of the telmarine army.

and the war is over.

in the midst of the destruction, everyone begins to celebrate with smiles on their faces despite the large number of narnians lost in battle, there was cause for celebration.

the pevensies had met aslan and on the seashore, they were enjoying a good chat.

"where is y/n y/l?" asked aslan curiously "she fulfilled the prophecy perfectly"

"but she was not who killed miraz, it was caspian who had to see the kingdom free" trumpkin seemed upset and the desire to kick his little figure flourished in edmund.

"you don't need to kill someone to restore peace and help your people"

with that said, edmund began to look for her with his eyes...and found her. sitting on a stone, passing a natural ointment on a faun’s arm.

at that moment the boy understood that y/n should not learn to fight and use weapons to save narnia. with her kindness, intelligence and healing skills it was more than enough. he wanted to tell her. he wanted to tell her what an idiot he had been in wanting to force her to do something she was not even meant to do.

without saying a word edmund ran off in her direction.

when y/n saw him quickly approaching her, she stood up from her place and watched him as he arrived and took her arm to walk into the forest.

"I know what you are going to say and I am sorry..." as soon as the boy slowed down his pace the two faced each other in the middle of the forest lighted by rays of sunshine piercing the tree leaves. they were less than a metre away and yet edmund wanted to be even closer "I know you are disappointed in me, I know you all are... but i could not, ok?! I just could not! I cannot be queen of narnia with this attitude, I did not make it. I did not fulfill the prophecy and now-"

edmund took his face with both hands and brought it close to him, silencing her hasty and nervous speech; in less than a second both were immersed in a deep kiss that y/n took a few seconds to reciprocate due to her surprise. her hands travelled to his chest covered by the narnian battle uniform as his hands caress her cheeks softly.

the kiss was quick but sweet, as if they were frustrated romantics who had not been able to kiss each other for centuries.

when the kiss broke both chests went up and down as if they had finished running a marathon, but despite this they could not let go. now edmund's arms were wrapped around her and her arms caressed his neck as they looked at each other.

"you saved narnia without the need to kill anyone, you earned narnia without using force if not kindness"

"you're not disappointed?" a slight surprise occupied the boy’s body.

"all your training and you coming out to fight today, was because of me?"

"I just...just wanted to be enough for you" y/n was sincere, there was no need to lie.

"the conversation you heard between susan and me was a mistake, I would never be disappointed in you and you are far, far away from being a coward and you proved that from the minute you set foot in this kingdom"

she rested her forehead on his as a response.

"I am so in love with you" he sighed realizing the chill that ran through the girl's body.

"today is your lucky day king edmund, because i am more in love with you" a small laugh broke out from both of them.

"impossible"

with that said, they both joined in another kiss. this time a slow one. they had all the time in the world.

after all they were king and queen of narnia, no one could rush them.

#edmund pevensie #edmund pevensie x reader #edmund pevensie fanfic #one shots #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #edmund pevensie x y/n #narnia #the cronicles of narnia #prince caspian #fantasy #queen #kings #narnia fanfiction

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strongsassysexysloane · 4 years ago

Text

Thirteenth Day of Twelve - An Epilogue You Weren't Expecting

A/N - Surprise to almost all. I wanted to write the teams reaction and I hoped I pulled it off along with other things...

. . . .

"Baby..." You moaned, as Jack crawled off you and headed for the bathroom.

She turned around with her hands on her hips, wearing only your hoodie and panties. "Didn't take you long to create that nickname."

"Shut up you like it." You smirked at her slight blush and she continued into the ensuite.

"You know I'm going to have to go home soon."

"I did not know this." You made it sound like it was the most absurd thing she's ever said. "What would posess you to do such a thing?"

"Shut up." You head the sound of flushing and then the tap. "As much as I loved spending the night and morning with you, hun. I need to get ready for work tomorrow."

You sighed, slumping back down into bed. You knew this was the inevitablity after spending almost the last 24 hours with her and only four of them were sleep. "fine. Still layout worst idea, ever."

"Well that's a lite dramatic." She smirked, standing in the doorway with her hand stretched up against the frame, making the hem of her shirt rise.

You knew it was her plan but to hell with being caught. Your eyes tracked from her feet up her toned calves, thighs that you could spend hours looking at and...

"Ahem."

"Please come here." You all but moaned.

"Ok but this time -" She walked slowly towards the bed.

"Anything you want. We agreed, now come here so I can kiss you." This time there was a groan just before Jack was in reach and you pulled her down onto you.

She left a few hours later before sunset claiming there were still chores to be done and washing to be put on. But you both agree of work wasn't busy this next week that.youd spend some 'school' nights over her place. Nothing was defined yet but neither of you cared. Whatever this was, was the best gift you'd ever gotten.

Monday morning came around and you walked into the bullpen. It looked like you were the first one into work, other than Gibbs, it was 0800. After you dumped your gear at your desk, you heard the laughter of all five of your friends walking down the main stairs. They caught your eye and all grinned like cheshire cats. You eyed them suspeciously until a certain beautiful blonde walked out of the hallway and jogged to catch them.

"Kasie you forgot-" She stopped half way down the stairs when she saw you and almost looked guilty.

Your suspicious gaze moved from the five cats to your Jack. "Okay, what the hell am I missing?" You questioned with your hands on your hips.

"Her gun is locked in the drawer right?" You heard Jimmy not so quietly whisper, taking a step back.

"Too many cameras for her to get away with six homicides." Nick added, taking a step closer to Ellie.

"Five."

"Five?" Jimmy questioned looking from you to everyone else, double checking his numbers.

"I wouldn't kill Jack." You shrugged with a smirk, locking eyes with Jack who had joined the rest of you in the bullpen.

You heard awes from you assumed Kasie and Ellie. Jack stepped through the group and came around to stand beside you behind your desk. She placed a quick peck on your cheek which you leaned into before whispering, "They all came to ask how my final present went Saturday night." She tucked your hair behind your ear before placing another kiss on your cheek.

You were meant to be smiling, she was being all touchy feely in front of the team and you had dreamed of this for months but you could only frown.

They knew?

"Here it comes." Jimmy took a step back, hiding behind Nick who was half standing behind Ellie.

"You all knew?!" You all but shouted.

The grins were back up except for Jimmy, you couldn't see his mouth.

"Known for a while actually." In walked Gibbs, squeezing past the group and sat at his desk.

"Wait he knew?!" You looked at Gibbs who was glaring at you. "Sorry- wait no I'm not. You told Gibbs?" You turned to Jack who was trying her best not to laugh but failing miserably. Her eyes always gave her away.

She intertwined your fingers, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. While your other hand still stayed on your hip. "Told him first. Had to have an inside man before I left for NOLA -"

"So Elaine didn't tell you I ordered. Jack did." Gibbs nodded slowly. "Lucky I didn't interrogate her."

"I'd pay to see that." Gibbs chuckled, your glare didn't help.

"Tim found out next then Kasie and then somehow everyone else found out." She raised a brow at Kasie.

She held up her hands. " I did my best but Nick caught me at Y/ns desk and then everyone else found out." Eyes were on Nick.

"I'm still slightly offended you couldn't trust me to keep a secret, Agent Sloane." Jimmy stepped out from behind Nick.

"Oh please you couldn't lie to save your life." Nick pointed out kind of harshly but Jimmy swayed his head and agreed.

"No offence Jimmy but I really wasn't planning on telling anyone until I got called away to NOLA."

"Called away?" You all turned to see Vance standing on the halfway landing on to stairs.

You went to let go of Jack's hand but she held on tight. "Please don't tell me-"

"Oh I figured it out on day one." Leon smiled at you.

"Only because you saw me putting the chocolates on Y/ns desk, Leon." Jack rolled her eyes and Leon shrugged.

The others laughed, Tim and Ellie going and sitting at their desks leaving Nick to rest against Ellie's desk and Jimmy and Kasie to keep standing near yours. Leon continued on his journey to his actual destination.

"Now that the cats out of the bag can we get back to work?"

"Sure." Jack answered Gibbs and then turned to you with a big smile. "Want to have lunch with me later?"

You grinned, ignoring everyone watching you. "Just us?"

"Just us."

"It'll be-" Gibbs actually stopped. Stopped mid grumble at Jack's pointed glare.

"The sooner I finish my conversation, cowboy, the sooner she'll get to work. Plus work doesn't technically start for another..." She checked her watch. "Ten minutes."

There was silence from everyone. Kasie and Jimmy slowly stepped back, retreated to the elevator while Nick walked over to his desk.

"It's a Christmas miracle." Nick joked but soon shut up when Gibbs glare moved from Jack to Nick.

"I'd love to." You beamed and leant in to kiss Jack on the cheek but she turned and you connected with her lips. You heard a flurry of clapping from behind you which could only be Ellie before you succumbed to Jack's touch before it melted away all too quickly.

"I'll come down when I'm hungry and pick you up." She smirked, the twinkle in her eye only for you to see which almost made you blush.

You could only nod and she was gone. "I still can't believe you all knew. Even-" You looked down at the clock. "Still got a few minutes. Even Gibbs." You continued and saw a smirk appear on the bosses' face.

The hunger happened at just after midday. No new case for the team so Jack grabbed your hand and tugged you out of the office. Ellie couldn't stop smiling.

"Wait Jack-" She piped up and you both stopped walking and turned.

"Was Dinner the final gift or..."

You both smirked and looked at each other before turning back to Bishop.

"Or?" Jack raised a brow while.you stayed silent. To be fair, she hadn't really clarified it either.

"You know..." Nick popped up beside Bishop, waving his finger between you both.

You couldn't help but laugh, Jack however held her poker face strong. "I do know, Nick, and that's something you'll never find out."

You groaned and Jack looked at you, your cheeks flushing, knowing what was about to happen.

"See by not answering that, you've answered it loud and clear." Nick grinned, having bested Jack Sloane, sort of.

"Well played Nicholas." She conceded. "Now I need food and a makeout session so I can get my head back in the game."

You couldn't believe the words that flew.oit of her mouth.

"I said it and I don't regret it."

Luckily the elevator doors opened and you both hopped in.

"Don't hold up the elevator!" You head Nick shout before the doors closed and you both laughed.

"That's what cars are for." You mumbled before Jack's lips were on yours, your hands immediately gripping her waist and pulling her close.

The kiss didn't last long because you hadn't held up the elevator but it was enough for you never want to stop. You'd missed her. It seemed silly but not having her beside you in bed last night just felt wrong.

"Come home with me tonight." You breathed, as she stepped away and the elevator came to a stop.

She interlaced your fingers together and walked.off the elevator. "Miss me last night?"

Even though she was being lighthearted and teasing, you saw the hope in her eyes. "Yes and this morning and about half an hour ago...sorry."

She stopped walking, tugging you close, ignoring all the people walking around you on the path. "Don't be sorry. I missed you too." With her other hand she reached up and tucked some hair behind your ear. "Missed the little purrs you make in your sleep, the steady rise and fall of your breathing, the smile I saw when I woke up Sunday morning and the constant whining-" She laughed into the kiss but it disappeared slowly and time stood still.

"Is that a yes?" You ghosted over her lips, mission the corner of her mouth, then her cheek.

"Yes." She breathed. "Yes to tonight, yes to tomorrow and yes to me being.your gift and now the dinner."

You threw your head back and laughed. She knew how to perfectly ruin a moment but make it better at the same time. "I knew it!"

Jacqueline Sloane was the perfect gift. She was a gift to whomever she met and came across and you were one lucky son of a bitch to get to call her yours for as long as she'd have you.

. . . .

Unsure how far out of character Jack may be in this one but 🤷🏼‍♀️ it's my own creation so who knows what JS is like behind closed doors. Hope you liked it. I'll get back to writing other things now.

#jack sloane #jacqueline sloane #jack sloane x reader #ncis x reader #ncis reader insert #ncis #ncis christmas #ncis 12 days of christmas

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yourdeepestfathoms · 4 years ago

Text

We’re Five (and a half)

“Catherine, this isn’t going to work!”

“Will you stop complaining? You’ve been on my ass about this since we got back from the hospital! Understand that Anna’s only understudy that’s free today won’t get here until her plane lands. Which will take four more hours!! We don’t have a choice!”

“Isn’t there anyone else that can go on as Anna of Cleves?”

“Unless you can magically pull another girl who has all the lines and blocking memorized out of your ass, then I don’t think so!”

“Well, at least you don’t have to stand next to her!”

“Will you just be quiet?! You are driving me insane! And don’t forget it’s Kitty’s fault that more blood had to be taken!”

“It is not!”

“She played with the pouch and dropped it!!”

“...So?”

“Oh my god—”

Aragon rolled her eyes at the silver queen and stomped onto the stage. She diminished her rage when she got near their Anna of Cleves understudy- Joan, who had three pints of blood sucked out of her just an hour ago after the first two pouches were ruined by slippery hands and a certain hot pink queen with a mother who refuses to own up to what her daughter did. The blood was for the actual Cleves since the woman was going through surgery to get a hernia removed and Joan was the only person who shared her rare blood type: O-. And because she couldn’t be there, her donor had to go on for that evening show for her. And it wouldn’t have been a problem if, again, it hadn’t been three whole pints.

“How are you feeling, sweet girl?” Aragon asked, gently touching the understudy’s shoulder.

Joan looked up from her hands, which she had been gazing at as if they were made out of the most valuable jewels in human history. She blinked several times, but her eyes still remained very cloudy. Her pupils were way too big.

“‘M fine,” She said, reaching out to also touch Aragon’s shoulder, but missing completely. Her hand awkwardly flaps in the air, not understanding why there wasn’t a queen under its palm, then pulled back after a moment of hovering. “I’m feeling...great!”

Aragon smiled wryly. “That’s good. The costume feels okay?”

Joan looked down at the light blue alt costume she had been put into, since Cleves’ actual one didn’t fit her. She looked back up at Aragon with an awed expression.

“I forgot I was even wearing clothes!” She exclaimed. “Wow. This is very.....” She trailed off.

“Joan.” Aragon shook her slightly.

“Hi.” Joan snapped awake. She reached out and felt Aragon’s face. “Hello.”

“Hello, sweetheart.” Aragon replied. “We’re going to get started really soon. Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Joan nodded lazily. “I got all the lines! And dances!”

“Good.”

“Great.”

Aragon gave her another quick smile before patting her shoulder and getting into line with the others. Several of them were glancing nervously at Joan, who kept swaying treacherously on the heels she was wearing.

“Ooh can’t see—” Joan said after the blackout.

“Hsst.” Jane hissed.

It wasn’t long before Ex-Wives began and it went surprisingly well. Not great, not even good, but it was enough. Perhaps new viewers would think that Anna of Cleves bumping into literally everyone was how the song was always scripted. But at least the little blood Joan still had pumping through her body fueled her enough to stay in tune and remember all the wounds, even if the introduction solo was mumbled more than spoken. But still!! They made it— SHE made it.

Somehow.

The show ran through the first speaking portion until they eventually got to the first lady in waiting shout-out. The sudden rise in Aragon’s tone seemed to snap Joan out of whatever reverie that had been hypnotizing her and she spun around to face the band so fast she nearly spiraled right down to the floor in a tornado of baby blue and black rhinestones.

“We got Maggie on the guitar!” Anne shouted, and her dear friend played her solo.

“Bessie...yeah!” Joan said helpfully, flapping a hand in the bassist’s direction, who was so daunted by the awkward introduction that she hesitated a second before rushing into her solo.

“And killing it on the keys, we got Joan,” Jane said, slightly startled by the actual Joan’s mess up.

“That’s me,” Joan whispered to herself as she alt played her bit.

“And with beats so sick they’ll give you gout is Maria on the drums!” Aragon said hurriedly, casting Joan an uneasy glance.

“So, you’ve come to party with us old school.” Joan said right after, and although her timing was on point, she somehow managed to slur every single word in the line.

“Really, really old school,” Jane recited, then began to laugh. Joan laughed, too, until Kitty not-so-subtly kicked her in the shin, which was nearly enough to bring her to the floor if Jane hadn’t shot out an arm and grabbed the girl by the shoulder. Her laughter died off as she craned her neck around and shot Kitty a “don’t you dare do that again or so help me—” look.

Jane didn’t release Joan’s shoulder until they got to the “we’ve heard it all” bit. She actually found herself wincing when she pulled her hand back and saw the five angry red marks left in the girl’s skin from her pointy, perfectly manicured fingernails.

“Who lasted the longest was the strongest.”

“The biggest sinner is always the winner.”

“Who had the son takes number one.”

“Who was most chased shall be first...”

“Placed,” Jane whispered.

“Cased!” Joan shouted with too much volume and enthusiasm.

“No, placed!” Jane whisper-yelled again.

“Huh?”

“Who was most chased shall be first placed!” Jane finally just said for Joan.

“...The most inglorious shall be victorious!”

“The winning contestant was the most Protestant!”

And so, the show went on, punctuated by perfectly recited lines by five queens and horribly slurred ones by a lady in waiting missing three pints of her blood.

No Way soon began. All the singing and lines were done as usual, no problem, everything on point. The dancing, on the other hand... Well, the Anna of Cleves was a bit off, reviewers would definitely say after that performance. Like, really off. Like, “she’s two feet away from the other dancers and is continuously being chased down, grappled, and pulled back over by the Catherine Parr” kind of off. But nobody fell over, so it was okay!

However, those reviewers would definitely also mention how the Anna of Cleves weirdly said, “Why is she on her phone?” and then got mouthed to “shut the fuck up” by the Jane Seymour and Katherine Howard during the bit right before Don’t Lose Ur Head. But again! Nobody fell during that song, either! But then again, there were several close calls... That Anna of Cleves was wobbling A LOT. And then there was the blocking for Wearing Yellow To A Funeral where she would reach out and grab Anne Boleyn to stop her from cussing, but she apparently reached way too far, tipped forward, and definitely would have careened right off the stage if the Anne hadn’t spun around and caught her a second before she keeled over the edge.

“Over my dead body,” Aragon said immediately after that predicament, although her voice was lacking its usual bite to the words. It was covered up completely by worry for the girl Anne was trying to stand up straight.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jane said, moving on. “I’m pretty sure it’s my turn now.”

“You?” Joan said, voice dripping with exhaustion and fatigue. Her energy was running out fast.

“Oh, weren’t you the one he truly loved?” Kitty teased.

“Yeah, didn’t you give him the son he so desperately wanted?” Aragon added.

“Yeah, I actually had a daughter and he copped my head off.” Anne quipped.

“I had a son named Hercules,” Joan mused, and Cathy quickly covered her mouth before Kitty could kick her again.

Jane began her monologue and then soon started Heart of Stone. Aragon guided Joan over to the steps so she and the other queens could sit down during that song.

“How are you feeling?” Aragon whispered to Joan, rubbing her shoulder tenderly.

“Huh?” Joan said loudly, which caused a cacophony of “Shh!”’s and a confused glance over the shoulder by Jane.

“I asked how you’re feeling,” Aragon said again. She took one of Joan’s hands and stroked the knuckles with her thumb. She couldn’t tell if the girl was trembling out of fear or exhaustion—maybe both? Or maybe she was just vibrating as a symptom of blood loss.

“Oh.” Joan said. Then, she threw her head back, laughed, and didn’t say anything.

Kitty groaned and rolled her eyes. “We can’t keep her on anymore. She’s ruining the show!”

“Will you shut your fucking mouth?” Aragon hissed. “You kicked her! Oh yeah, don’t think I didn’t see that one, princess.”

Kitty huffed and looked away angrily.

“Yeah, but she has a point,” Anne said gently. “Look at her. Joan is suffering.”

“No I’m not,” Joan mumbled. “‘M just tired...” Her head lolled to the side and rested against Aragon’s shoulder.

“See!”

“No, no, no, no—” Joan spoke again. “I’m just- I’m okay— I just— Do you think I can sit down during Haus of Holbein?”

———

“Not only did the show as a whole feel like a humorous fever dream,” A Gen Z reviewer would later report on their blog, “but the most relatable thing that happened in the entire performance was when the Anna of Cleves sang Haus on Holbein while waving glow sticks and wearing giant light up sunglasses on the floor!”

———

mess

/mes/

a situation or state of affairs that is confused or full of difficulties.

"the economy is still in a terrible mess"

Calling Get Down such a word would be an understatement.

If it wasn’t the slurred singing, then it was the way Joan would seemingly black out in the middle of the song, and if it wasn’t either of those, then it was definitely how she felt the need to say, “I don’t know how to snap” into the microphone at the very beginning when everyone was supposed to snap along to the beat.

But that wasn’t all. Unfortunately.

The lack of blood in her body already made her very dizzy and out of it, but all the dancing and moving around definitely wasn’t helping. Her ankles would frequently buckle under her own weight and she would stumble awkwardly to the side, causing one of the other queens to frantically scramble after her and steady her.

And then there was the part where she was supposed to squat and sing to the front row near the very end. But that didn’t go as planned, because she was unable to hold herself up while kneeling and would have fallen right off the stage if Aragon hadn’t lunged forward and caught her. She then had to hold Joan up for the rest of that bit and then held her back to her feet afterwards. As she was slur-singing, Joan patted Aragon’s shoulder in thanks—except she missed Aragon’s shoulder and instead patted her face. Several times.

“Cause I’m the queen of the castle!” Joan finally concluded, then nearly fell over again, but the queens managed to anchor her upright. She winced at the applause she got. “Absolutely..heartbreaking....”

“That doesn’t sound horrible at all,” Aragon said.

“You- you are horrible..at all,” Joan garbled, stumbling forward slightly and Anne has to jump forward quickly and assist her down the staircase before she could fall and hurt herself. “I probably...won’t win the..uhh. Oh well, back to the— the— uh...”

“Palace,” The queens whispered in unison.

“Back to the palace!”

And so, the show went on. At that point, Joan’s brain had practically melted- the poor girl couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t anymore, and was solely running on muscle memory. Which wasn’t much because she wasn’t a regular performer.

“Guys, I have...the plague!” Joan shouted after the “boohoo baby Mary” speech by Jane. The queens turned to her and, as scripted, began to fuss and worry loudly. “Lol! Just kidding! I just got three pints of blood taken out of me and now I can’t feel a—”

A series of loud hushes and stern looks came from the queens until she shut her mouth. She gave them all a tired, pitiful look, now regretting her decision to do this—although she didn’t really remember WHAT she was doing at this point. She’s pretty sure she was performing...but she wasn’t completely sure.

All You Wanna Do soon began and that seemed to be an eternity of wrong dance moves, slurred harmonies, awkwardly placed hands on Kitty’s body, and several kicks from Kitty herself. In Joan’s shins.

During the big fight after that song, Joan just stood there looking dazed. The queens waited for her to say her line about Cathy’s consciousness, but she didn’t, so Anne had to jump in and say it for her while Kitty glared at the delirious understudy.

After that, I Don’t Need Your Love started up and Joan was content to just sit down and let her heart rest and resupply her body with blood, but she soon had to get back on her feet during the segment in the middle of the song.

“Who was Henry the VII’s wife?” Cathy asked.

Over the mix “I don’t know”’s, Joan mumbled, “I don’t even know where I am...”

Which was true. The blood loss was REALLY getting to her head.

“Yeah, because if we had realized,” Aragon said further in, “we could have thought of some really cool ways to, like, reclaim our stories for ourselves. You know, remove Henry’s love from our lives once and for all.”

“Aww,” Joan whined. “We could have done it as a thong.”

“SONG—” The queens yelped in a harmony of panic.

“Song!” Joan quickly corrected herself, but the damage was already done. The audience was going nuts at her mistake. Now the remainders of I Don’t Need Your Love would never recover. And it didn’t. But it was over.

Joan couldn’t stand still as she stood in the lineup for the last few lines. Her eyes kept closing and then snapping open—she didn’t know how much longer she could stay awake.

“We may just be remembered for being...” She trailed off tiredly.

“Married to Henry,” Kitty hissed, fed up with the understudy.

“Carried to Penry.” Joan said.

After a few confused glances to her, the show went on...somehow.

“Yes, we can redefine how we tell our stories,” Aragon said as the show was wrapping up, “but we can’t rewrite them.”

“And we wished we could tell you our lives had happy endings.” Jane added.

“But in...brutality...corn mint...” Joan slurred, then nearly collapsed but Jane was able to get her by the arm and hold her upright. Jane also had to keep her from beelining off the stage after the mock-ending.

“This is our show and we can literally do whatever we want!” Anne said, waltzing back up to the front of the stage. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Jane tugging Joan along with her.

“So, London, because we have five minutes left of the show!” Kitty went on, then looked at Joan expectantly.

Except Joan didn’t say her next line.

“We’ve decided to do our own,” Jane mouthed to Joan.

“Cheese hymen to do our clone,” Joan attempted to recite.

Jane stared at her in baffled horror before sputtering out, “Edited version.”

“Of what...really went down...all those years...bow tie....” Joan gurgled, her eyes fluttering shut. Kitty elbowed her in the rib cage to wake her up, which was rude, but at least worked. For now.

“Because we’re one of a kind,” Cathy began, glancing nervously at the understudy’s swaying form.

“No category,” Kitty went on.

“Chew many tears,” Joan mumbled weakly, and nobody cared enough to correct her at that point.

“Lost in history,”

“We’re free,”

“To take our crown in glory,”

“For five minutes,” They all, minus Joan, who was just awkwardly babbling along, harmonized. “We’re Six!”

And so, Six began. And it went really well if you didn’t look at the understudy for Anna of Cleves standing very still, clapping out of tune with everyone else. Or listen to the way she sang her bit as, “What a shame...la la la la la la la la la......” and then just hummed the rest weakly.

The show soon concluded. The final applause was given. There was an uproar of cheers, despite the awkwardness that happened during the entire performance. But it was over!

“Do you want one more song?” Kitty said, smirking teasingly at the audience.

The people cheered, ready for the MegaSix, and it was at that moment when Joan finally collapsed.

Kitty looked at her, then looked back at the audience, and said, “Nevermind.”

#please read I tried very hard to make this funny and not angsty #six the musical #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six fanfic #six fanfiction #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #jane seymour #katherine howard #catherine parr #joan on the keys #we're five (and a half)

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tessisawriter · 5 years ago

Text

The Next Step (Clayton Keller)

Request (anonymous): 24 and 33 w/ Clayton Keller

Warnings: A few sexually suggestive comments

Word Count: 1.8k

“Yes!” you said a little too loudly as your boyfriend, Clayton scored the overtime goal and secured a win for the Arizona Coyotes. Everyone in the classroom looked at you, and you quickly closed the tab that had the NHL tracker on it.

“Miss Y/LN? Is there something you would like to share with the class?” Your professor said from the front of the room.

“N-no sir,” you stammered.

He shook his head before continuing the lesson. You looked at the clock on your laptop: only five more minutes until you were free from your awful night class.

Your best friend Nicole, whose pen had laid slack on her notebook for at least a half hour, started writing urgently on a page and turned it towards you.

“Did they win?” it said.

You took the pen out of her hand and wrote back: “Yes, Clay in OT.”

She smiled, took the pen out of your hand again, and wrote, “Can’t wait to go out tonight. The usual place?” You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle, which thankfully went unheard by your peers this time, and nodded.

“All right, class, next time we’ll talk about the stock market,” your professor announced, and you closed your laptop, shoved it in your bag, and jumped out of your seat. Nicole was right behind you as you scurried out of the classroom and towards the front door.

“Ugh, that was the most boring lecture yet!” you lamented as the two of you exited the building and started walking towards your car. “Why did we have to get stuck with an 8-10PM lecture?”

“Because we’re cursed,” Nicole muttered, and you laughed in response.

Your phone started to ring, and you didn’t even have to look at the screen to know it was Clayton.

“Hey, babe, great game!” you said. “And you scored the OT goal—I’m so proud of you!”

You heard Clayton chuckle on the other line. “Thanks, babe. I’m guessing you watched it on your laptop during class?”

You sighed while opening the door to the passenger’s seat of your car, Nicole already heading for the driver’s seat. She knew without even asking that you wanted to talk to Clayton. You buckled your seatbelt, gave Nicole the keys to your car, and put the phone on speaker before replying, “Guilty.”

“Babe, I love when you watch my games, but school is important.”

“But the class is so boring, and it’s late at night! Why pay attention when I can watch you?” you said as Nicole pulled out of the parking lot.

“Because you want to pass the class, right?” Clayton replied.

You gave a noncommittal grumble in response, but he laughed, knowing that you did indeed want to pass.

“I just don’t want you to get in trouble, Y/N, especially not because of me. One of these days, your professor is going to catch you and confiscate your laptop.”

“She almost got caught today,” Nicole butted in, and you glared at her for ratting you out.

You heard Clayton sigh on the other line. “Please be careful, Y/N.”

“I will! I’ll be more careful, I promise,” you said before changing the subject. “So, everyone’s going out to celebrate, right?”

“Yeah, at the usual place. Are you and Nicole meeting us there?”

“Yep, we’re already on our way.”

“You’re not driving, are you?” Clayton asked, panic in his voice.

You rolled your eyes. Clayton meant well, but he was so overprotective. “Of course not! Do you think I want to get in an accident?”

“Well, considering that you almost got caught in class today watching my game…”

“Come on, Clay, you know me: I’m responsible, especially around cars,” you asserted.

“I know,” he replied. “So I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, we’ll be there in ten. Love you!”

“Love you, too,” Clayton replied before you hung up the phone.

“God, you guys are too cute,” Nicole said. “You even argue like an old married couple.”

“We do not!” you protested.

She giggled and stopped the car at the red light before putting her hands up in defense. “I’m just saying, Y/N, you guys are the only couple I know that I think will last past graduation.”

You smiled. You had been dating Clayton for over two years now, and your relationship was completely solid. All of your friends kept saying they thought he would propose after graduation next spring, and although you dismissed them whenever they brought it up, you secretly hoped he would. If someone had told you five years ago that you would want to get married at twenty-two, you would’ve laughed and said they were crazy, but everything changed when you met Clayton. You loved him and wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, and now that Clayton had signed an eight-year extension with the Coyotes, it felt like the timing was right.

“You’ve got that look on your face,” Nicole said with a knowing smile.

“What look?” you asked, startled.

“The look you get whenever you think about Clayton,” she said. “I’ve never seen you look so happy as you do when he’s on your mind.” Nicole was your best friend since you were in elementary school in Glendale, and you lived together in an apartment while going to college in Phoenix. When you first met Clayton and told her about him, she was initially wary, worried that as a hockey player, he would break your heart, but she quickly changed her mind.

“Really?” you said.

“Really. You get all googly-eyed and smile really big,” Nicole confirmed. “I’m not supposed to say anything, but Clayton’s going to ask you to move in with him tonight. And before you say no,” she added, noticing that you had already opened your mouth to speak, “I’m totally fine with it. My parents said they’ll pay the rent for this year.”

“Are you sure?” Clayton already asked you to move in with him last year, but you didn’t want to leave your best friend behind. She had always been there for you, and you refused to abandon her. With that said, you did want to live with Clayton for a while before getting engaged: it seemed logical for that to be the next step in your relationship.

“Positive. You’re my best friend, and I want to see you happy. Clayton does that,” she said as she pulled into a parking space that happened to be open right next to the club and put the car in park. “And we’re here.”

“Thanks, Nicki,” you said, reaching over to give her a hug. Only you were allowed to call her Nicki; if anyone else tried, they had a death wish.

“Of course,” she replied. “Now let’s get in there and find your man!”

You giggled as you got out of the car and closed the door. Nicole met you on the curb, and you wrapped your arm around her as you walked into the club.

When you arrived in the VIP area, you saw the boys were already drinking quite a bit.

“Hey, it’s Y/N and Nicki!” Jakob Chychrun shouted. You looked over at Nicole, thinking she was going to kick his ass, but she blushed and smiled at him.

“Hi, Jake,” you said to the tall blonde boy in front of you. “Where’s Clay?”

“Actually, I have no…”

Someone’s hands started tickling your sides, and you cut Jakob off with a scream. You turned around to find Clayton standing behind you. “You scared me!” you said.

“Sorry, babe, I saw an opportunity and had to take it.”

“You’re not sorry,” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re right: I’m not,” he replied, leaning in to kiss you on the lips.

“Hey Nicki, do you want something to drink?” Jakob asked your best friend. While you were still in Clayton’s arms, you pulled away from the kiss and leaned your head on his shoulder in order to eavesdrop on their conversation. Jakob had a crush on Nicole for a while now, and she felt the same way about him. You were hoping he was going to finally make a move.

“I can’t drink tonight. I’m the DD,” she said.

“Okay, wanna dance instead, then?”

“Sure.” Nicole was absolutely beaming when she took Jakob’s hand, and you winked at her before she turned away.

“Yay!” you cheered when they were far enough away to not hear you.

Clayton laughed. “God, stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Nothing. I just love how much you support Nicole,” he said while wrapping his arms around your lower waist, his hands resting on your hips.

You blushed at the contact. “Are you trying to seduce me?” you asked.

“Why, is it working?” he smirked.

“You know it is!” you said, laughing before schooling your face to take on a serious expression. “But I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it, babe?” Clayton asked, a look of concern flashing across his face.

“It’s nothing bad, it’s just…Nicole said on the way over that you were going to ask me to move in with you.”

Clayton sighed. “Ugh, she wasn’t supposed to tell you! I should never have told her.”

“Actually, I’m glad you did,” you said. “The only thing that was holding me back from moving in with you last year was Nicole—I didn’t want to abandon her. But now that I know her parents are going to take care of the rent, I can rest easy.”

“Are you saying that you’ll move in with me?” Clayton asked, a grin slowly overtaking his face.

“Yes,” you replied, and Clayton picked you up and spun you around a few times before putting you down.

“Let’s go back to my…I mean, our place,” Clayton said, still grinning.

“Definitely, let me just tell Nicole we’re…” Your eyes landed on Nicole and Jakob making out on the dance floor. “On second thought,” you giggled, “I’ll text her. I don’t want to ruin the moment.”

Clayton looked over and chuckled. “Good idea. Thank God he made a move, I was getting real tired of ‘Nicole this, Nicole that,’” he said, mimicking Jakob.

You laughed. “All right, let’s get out of here. Do you need me to call an Uber?”

“Nah, I already called for one about five minutes ago; they should be here any minute,” Clayton said.

You smacked him lightly on the arm. “A little presumptuous, are we?” you joked.

“My team just won a game, my girlfriend looks absolutely gorgeous, and she agreed to move in with me. I think we both know where this night is headed,” he said.

“Oh my God, Clay! Your mom would wash your mouth out with soap if she heard you say that,” you giggled.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Clayton said with a blasé tone, and you grabbed his hand and made your way out of the club.

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vespiiqueen · 4 years ago

Note

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you (if you want !! 💛💖)

Wow I rambled a lot with this but i can't add cuts bc I'm on mobile rn DHSISHSJ sorry :"))))

1. Ik Ik "haha how cringe are you" of me to say, but honestly? Homestuck. Homestuck helped me in a time of need and when i so desperately wanted something to latch onto. Finally, I caved into my friends telling me to read it-- and it's been a blast!! The epilogues / hs^2 make me feel kinda sad though, because so much of what I loved about the original was yeeted through the nine circles of hell and into the trash. I love Y/ffany's (I call her Yippi tho) design, the art is really pretty at times, Harry is a major dork, I LIVE for seeing Vrissy bc honestly?? Her design is 10/10, very early 2000s emo style and I also live for that. Tavros is cute and a nerd and I think that's swell!

But in terms of story and how any of this happens, it makes me sad to see it happen. If Vriska could return as Vrissy, why not OTHER beta trolls? Where's my Eridan fish man, writers?? Give me the boy or perish by my fury.

2. Also super "haha how cringe are you" but,,, murder cats (Warriors), esp the early 2005-2015 amvs and stuff. I remember watching Flightfootwarrior's "I Will Not Bow" Scourge amv for HOurs and having no clue what was happening, but all these edgy kitties were KITTIES! It's introduced me to a lot of music I still listen to to this very day (Imagine Dragons, Young/the entirety of Hollywood Undead, Breaking Benjamin). And yknow what?? This new arc is absolute chaos, but in the good way.

I'm an "OG Fan". I prefer the first arc, The Prophecies Begin, to almost any of the other arcs. I just could never get into the other arcs-- not to say I haven't read them, I HAVE and the Fire Scene was probably one of my favorite moments beside grumpy Jaypaw, god complex Lionblaze, and fear the gods Hollypaw. I thought the build-up for it was SUPER satisfying. Gray Wing is my baby and I fully embellish in the Gray Wing is Silverpelt theory.

This new arc is definitely something new for the universe. While I didn't read aVoS (but I may do that if i can find the files for it), and so I don't know the major events of it other than what I've seen M.A.P.'s (Multi-Animator Projects, for clarification,,, bc unfortunately that term is also something disgusting). There's fucking cat possession and all the Clans questioning their belief system, yo. Shit be on fire.

Also the Imposter is 100% Ashfur, that's canon now, yeah??? Also im sorry but fuck Root x Bristle that's the dumbest shit I have ever seen. Give me Root x Shadow or face the wrath of my dragon plushies.

RiverClan is my Clan and my gov assigned warrior name is Fireshell 🌟🌟

3. As much as I hate the author,,,,, Harry Potter. It's been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. I can never really remember why, but I've always just loved it- the movies, the books, the extra little merch that would pop up in my local Walmart. Of course my favorite character is Draco Malfoy. I could go on and on and ON about how I think his character arc was SHIT and JKR didn't have the balls to make him a confident gay man that was always implied through the text (at least, my lesbian ass thought it was implied but i may just be projecting, idk). I could ramble about Draco for HOURS and what I think his character SHOULD have been and how his parents are horrible (more specifically, Lucius bc Narcissa [?] Actually showed a few good moments), and a child should never have to pay for their parents sins.

Oh noo, Draco's a villain because he's a victim of major abuse and peer pressure? He's a villain because a literal child can be horrible and they'll always always always stay as a horrible little fiend?? Fuck that. He's a child.

Unlike manchild grease pan Snape, who was a racist piece of shit and shouldn't have became a fucking school teacher but it's okay because he was ~~~in love~~~. No, fuck you, he was a creep. James Potter n Co may have been a little posh bitch to you, Snape, but that's no fucking excuse to continue to bluntly be a little cunt all the way into adulthood. You're an adult who flatly changed your PATRONUS to imitate Lily's. You have no excuse. And Harry went and named his child after you LIKE JESUS CHRIST, DID RON'S SISTER NOT HAVE A SAY IN THE NAMES TOO?????

I also fully adore the idea that Muggles can run into Hogwarts and their patronus can 100% be a made up, fantasy creature. Imagine you learn the patronus spell and suddenly fucking ARCEUS comes from your wand. Imagine learning the spell and CHTULU (i did not spell that right but im so tired) comes from your wand-- an entire ass fucking Lovecraftian, Eldrith horror is just the embodiment of you. What if it was a fucking Homestuck character like Vriska? How fucking METAL would that be?? Hskajssowjjsjs get on it fandom.

4. Hee hee very evident by my url but Pokemon is another major thing of mine. While vespiquen isn't my favorite (that title goes to Hydreigon), it is definitely up there!

I've ALWAYS enjoyed the idea of Pokemon. You run around, training up these fight monsters and collecting them. I remember playing my sister's Ruby version on her flip-up Gameboy. I couldn't even read but I ran around catching god only knows how many of the same pokemon wherever she was. Apparently, I had fought for hours in the same area and leveled her Blaziken up to lvl 50 something and left her lvl 30s in the dust LMAO.

I got my first game when it was Pearl/Diamond. It was Pearl, and it still holds a very fond place in my heart. I could barely read, I could barely write-- I had named my Turtwig something along the lines of "MmorpHy" and my player boy "ZbsibJ". Yes I remember the names slightly. I really didn't get far-- I barely got to the first gym but I was just so happy to play it.

I eventually lost the game, as a 5 year old would do, but I can still vividly remember what was happening when the game arrived. I had just came back from the dentist and was quite tired from fighting the dentist bc I was super scared. Mom suddenly handed me a box and said it was mine-- my overseas (at that time) dad had bought me Pearl and my sister Diamond, because I lost my shit about it when he visited one time.

Well, tdlr, I played it for about five minutes while struggling to stay awake against the loopy gas they made me take. I fell asleep listening to Twinleaf Town's soundtrack. Every time I play a rom of Pearl and I get to where the player's house fades in and I hear that first tune of the song, I get a huge smile on my face and cry-- as.. Weird as it sounds.

A few years later, I had gotten Pokemon Black bc I liked Reshiram on the cover. Now, this one I could actually READ when playing, but I don't remember a lot of things about it. I probably lost this one too, as a 8/9 year old would do. I DO remember, I chose Snivy and my sister chose Tepig (hrmm there's a theme here of grass/fire goin on......) and vibing to the music. I was so amazed by the sprites moving, I just kept getting into encounters to see the sprites move (oh boy, no one tell younger 7-9 y/o me about Zelda......oh wait....)

Playing Pokemon NOW, as a 17 year old """gifted""" chick, I stil have very fond memories. I recently beat Pokemon Black again and GOD the OTS SLAPS. I fucking adore the soundtrack-- the track that plays when you battle a trainer, the low health dings being turned into a legit song that also slaps, the battle! gym leader themes-- and oh my gOd, the legendary theme is amazing? It really tells you just how glorious these pokemon are supposed to be. It's not intimidating like Groudon/Kyroge/Rayquaza's themes. It's not action packed like Palkia/Dialga's is, it's not filled with tension like Giratina/Arceus's is-- but it radiates the GLORY that the beasts portray. And I live for that. (Also, Kyurem's version is my favorite because it glitches in the beginning and that's rly cool)

P/D/P and BW/BW2's stories, imo, are some of the greatest ones. Yeahhh, US/USUM's is cool and I haven't played XY nor SwSh-- but the ones I can find memorable are PDP and BW/BW2. I love N. I love Barry. They're my sons. Ghetsis is fucking terrifying, Cyrus needs a hug. Giratina scared the piss out of me when I was younger, which was NOT helped by Giratina and The Sky Warrior.

I think my favorite movies are the gen 4 ones. The Rise of Darkrai having a tear-jerking theme for such a mysterious pokemon (i still tear up when i hear Ocarion), Giratina being spiteful is a mood and Shaymin was cute, Arceus being angry is also a mood. Yeah, Pokemon 4Ever made me cry my eyes out over Celebi, Mewtwo Returns made me again cry because Mewtwo accepting who he is, I remember how vastly different the BW movies are-

I just. I have a lot of memories with the series, even if Gamefreak and Nintendo kinda do the series dirty a lot (your top-grossing thing and you made That monstrosity for the Switch? How dare you.). It's comforting to be stressed and pull up my roms for the games and to play them. Mystery Dungeon is incredibly fun to play, Pokemon Ranger is really fun with the concept (Shadows of Almia continues to kick my ass to this very day and FUCK the Jungle Relic, I hate the Water Challenge fucking gyarados bullshit). I remember the pokemon I got for MD (I got Time, my sis got Darkness) was Mudkip, if that is any help.

I love my little fictional pixel monsters.

5. Yup, someone told tiny 7-9 y/o me about console games. The legend of Zelda. My first Zelda game was Twilight Princess on the Wii and BOY did I play the fucking SHIT out of that game.

Honestly, looking back and looking at playthroughs now-- I still love TP. Twilight Princess is still one of my top favorite Zelda games-- yes, even after playing OoT, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Skyward Sword, the anniversary four swords edition for the DS where you could play by yourself (Nintendo pls bring that back, I don't have friends to play it with ;-;), Phantom Hourglass- ect.

Something about Twilight Princess grabbed me by the head and yeeted me into the world. I can remember playing it for hours with little to no breaks. I, a tiny 9 y/o, had gotten the hang of the controllers and managed to get past the tutorial quite easily. And then, I was launched into the game and I wasn't stopping for NOTHING. Mom and Dad would have to force me to save and get off to go and eat dinner. THAT sucked.

I had done everything on my own up until the first temple, the forest temple. Not where/when you saved the dumb kid, but when you were saving the spirit's light. Theeeeeeennn I got stuck on the fucking Forest Temple for deadass six months straight. I'd play for hours, running around in circles, unable to figure out where to go, and because I didn't grasp the temple's purpose of being that way- I'd get angry and get off. It wasn't until dad looked up a walkthrough and talked me through what I was supposed to do that I learned how to get through temples.

I had gotten to the last little fight with Ganondorf before the Wii broke and i could no longer play. Despite the Wii being broke and we got rid of it, I was ADAMANT on keeping the game, and I kept that game for YEARS. It was an original copy out of a sealed box, and I eventually lost it when I left it accidentally at my now ex-friend's house.

She had a Wii and I went "hey I have a Wii game!" And I brought my Zelda over. Worst fucking choice of my goddamn life. Mom called me to come home and said I couldn't sleep over like the original plan was, and that was it. My ex-friend stashed my Zelda and I never saw it again. And, even if I wanted to-- I couldn't get it back, which makes me upset. We had a BAD falling out. She likely doesn't even remember it's there, or sold it to the local game junkie kid who buys ALL games.

But I still love the game. Midna was amazing, and I loved how snarky she was and she has a very cute design! The game's OST is fucking phenomenal. Midna's Desperate Hour makes me cry bc goddamn it really sells how serious that situation is. I love Hyrule Field's theme in this game. I love the Twilight Realm's song. Zant was fucking hilariously scary. Ganondorf's design in this game scared the piss out of me when I was younger.

Midna and this game's Link and Zelda are def my favorites. Yeah yeah, Sheik is cool and all I Guess but dhsushwishs Midna holds the special place in my heart. She was totally my gay awakening BUT

For other game antagonists, I adore Ghirahim-- let's go you funky little queer-coded villain. Skull Kid was great, I love the entire dynamic of him. Prankster lost soul stumbles upon Majora's Mask and the mask makes him act out due to powers-- which, I actually took very heavy inspiration from for one of my OCs. The moon falling to Hyrule was a fucking terrifying looming threat.

But the game series holds a place, and I've yet to be able to play BoTW-- although, I'm fairly certain I'll like it. The playthroughs I've watched of it are all fairly decent! I just. Gotta save up enough money to buy it haha.

Dang guess I gotta go watch a Twilight Princess playthrough again.

Honorable Mentions:

Avatar: the Last Airbender, specifically Book 3

my OCs definitely make me happy, they're my children and I'd ramble A LOT longer if given the chance WHEEZE

My friends, but I didn't add them here bc it's more fictional stuff, I presume

Baking. I love to bake cupcakes.

Painting is fun. I'm an artist and goddammit im going to use painting as an excuse to make a mess.

Fire. I rly like fire, down to a pyromaniac level. However, i hate the fires that happened to my home town, the Great Smokey Fires of 2016-- THAT pissed me off. How dare you burn mountain landscapes to the ground. Perish.

History. I'm a history nerd.

I'm also a science nerd.

But fuck math, I cannot comprehend math to save my life.

For some reason, I rly like learning how the human body works??? like did you know, organs are actually sticky when touched by a bare hand?? Did you?? How fucking cool is that.

Bakugan. I love Bakugan, esp the DS game. I love my Darkus Leonidas. Give me back the online world, you peasants-- I want my Darkus Dragonoid. (Also fuck all my friends from when I was in kindergarten- my theory that Alice was Masquerade was somewhat correct.)

#admin ace #admin ace speaks #communistvriska #inbox tag #homestuck #warrior cats #harry potter #pokemon #legend of zelda

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mrneighbourlove · 4 years ago

Text

Scarlet Contract: Final Part

Scarlet gave the old snake a nod and headed inside. On her left were four prison cells with iron bars. The first and third cells were empty. In the second cell was a Moblin who leaned against the bars, sniffing the air around Scarlet. It spoke something at her in a language she didn't understand. When it saw she wasn't a meal ticket, it retreated further into its cell. Arriving at the third cell it was a glass wall with tiny air holes cut at the top. Torch and candle flames were the only source of light source down this deep underground, so it took a moment for Scarlet to see through the dimmed light. "Adda?"

Sitting on a table, a Gerudo with long hair that needed to be cut years ago lifted her head slowly up from a book she was reading. Turning, Scarlet into the eye of her old Captain. Adda wore rags, her hair covering her missing eye. An eye that the royals of Hyrule never replaced. Her nails were long, and her face was filled with wrinkles. Despite this, she was in good shape. Scarlet choked it up keeping in shape when she had little else to do. It was Adda's voice that surprised Scarlet the most. It was low, and sounded like someone who was weary and succumbed to pain. "...Scarlet? Is that you Redd?"

"Yes Adda. It's me."

Adda stood up from her chair, trading her book for a candle as she walked closer to the cell wall. Her golden eye was tired as she looked at Scarlet. "I never thought I'd see you again."

Scarlet looked around, and up and down Adda. "You look terrible. This is the condition they keep you in?"

"Public enemy number one, only alive due to a King wanting to pick my brain. They wanted me dead. Well, they can't. So, for over a decade, they put me in conditions were I sometimes wish for it."

"I... gods."

"You know, the past few years I've gotten so used to this that I've been desensitized to going outside for those twelve hours a year they grant me. What's the point? They'd never give me a cell with fresh air or a view anyways."

Scarlet closed her eyes. Others would tell her that Adda deserved this. But did anyone? "Adda. I'm sorry they put you away to be forgotten."

"And who's fault is that." Adda had a hint of malice, before letting out a deep sigh. "No. No no no no no. Certainty not yours. You had the freedom to leave. I supported you on that. Then you wanted to support your family in rescuing Seer. Of course you couldn't trust me when I wanted to help Bakura. Of course your family would do this to me." Adda tilted her head, and although she smiled, her eye was with sadness. "We were family once too you know."

"Sisters."

"Not anymore..." Adda looked around into the darkness surrounding Scarlet. "Why are you here Scarlet? I've never had visitors before. I don't have illusions you're here to break me out."

"We both know I could never do that. I'm here because of a deal I made."

"The snake?" When Adda saw Scarlet flinch, she smiled. "Yeah. Monster that crawls in the dark, having his hidden away criminal empire. All that money to fuel Queen's armies. He loves to talk about making promises. I see them as servitude myself. You have a debt he's cashing in on you Scarlet?"

Scarlet's mouth hung open for a moment, before she found herself clenching her fist to regain composure. "Something along the lines of that. Cashing in from saving your life."

Adda's brow furled together as she tried to recall. "You'll have to be more specific Redd. After all, you were rather zealous in my protection in the good days."

"When you were sick and we were shipwrecked on Omisha."

"Ah." Adda slowly nodded. "Shame."

"How so?"

"Shame that I'm alive."

"Not at all. It’s more of a shame that I couldn't save you in a way that mattered."

Adda looked to the side, her main of hair facing Scarlet. It hid her emotion perfectly. "Well. I was the only one who could have saved myself. Bad hand is all." Turning back, she tapped the glass, her thoughts lingering on Scarlet's deal. "What is it he wants you to do?"

Scarlet didn't think it'd be a big deal talking about it. "He want's me to replace King Malik as the de facto leader of the Gerudo. Make me a Queen to serve Hyrule's Queen."

Adda's golden eye practically burned to life, and for the first time since visiting Scarlet saw some animation in her body. "Really? You? Dethrone..." Adda grasped her face, an uncontrollable giggle turning into a laugh.

Scarlet couldn’t hide the small amount of fear and hurt that was growing on her. “I didn’t think you saw so little of me.”

"Oh Scarlet. I'm not laughing at you. Just the thought of that King using me for years only to be thrown off his chair by MY second in command? That. Is. Priceless. And quite honestly, something I'd love to see."

Scarlet wiped her brow to get rid of the sweet. "I don't see myself being a Queen."

"Queen? No. You'd never make a good Queen." Adda rested her arm above her head as she leaned against the glass. "But a leader? You have that in you."

That was honestly shocking for Scarlet to hear. "What?"

"I said you have what it takes to be a leader Redd. Queen, that was my title. But you'd make an excellent chief."

Scarlet narrowed her eyes as she turned her head slightly to the side. "Why are you telling me this? You never let me be a captain under your fleet."

Adda backed away from the glass, shaking her head at something funny to her. "All my time in here has given me time to reflect on the odyssey that is my life Scarlet. I've had hammers, fists, crime lords, scum on the high seas and living weapons that have served me faithfully... for one lousy exception. But you? There was no replacing you. My number two. The only person I trusted to lead in my absence if need be. I need you at my side because what I valued most about you was that you were the one person I could call my friend. I respected you. Respected you so much that when you wanted to leave the life, I let you go. I shouldn't have. But I did. I think that's were my first downfall happened. Caring at all for you. For the girls... for some blind old junky. And for Bakura...." Adda turned away from Scarlet. "Loving was never a healthy option for me."

"Adda. How can you say that?"

"Simple. About five years, maybe six? Fuck. It's so hard to tell time down here. Seven years ago, for all I care there was a moment, a moment I broke down and repented. I wanted to see my girls and you. I wanted to admit how much I destroyed everything. But you never came. I know for a fact that Corsaire would never send off any letters I made." Adda looked up at the roof of her prison cell, with balled fists. The void above her was a horrifying image at first, but now it was numbing. It was all she knew down here. Maybe all she'd ever see. She let her fists drop as her shoulders sunk. "But I realized it didn't matter. That loving has only hurt me. Never loved properly so maybe I couldn't love others properly. Good leader, but a lousy parent... Ok, look. There's no changing my past. No changing... no changing me. They want to keep me locked away like some animal? Go ahead... Can't do much worse to me. Those spineless nobles don't have the guts."

Scarlet let Adda ramble, an immense sense of pity for the woman churning in her. Why didn't they just put her out of her misery. "Adda..."

Before she could continue, Adda turned to Scarlet with the spin of a heel. "Now, my point to all this? Your worries are no longer my own. And we should both move on from each other for good. That's the real reason why you came here, haven't you? Don't you realize Scarlet? You're braver than you think. You have the courage to do what my own daughters won't even do. They couldn't kill me, and they can't give me a final goodbye. But you can. And what it's worth? I think you should kick Malik's ass to the curb. You have the power deep within you. Unleash it. Do something special for your life that isn't centered around me." With a smirk, Adda returned to her seat. "I'm sure they don't want you staying long. Say the rest of your peace, then leave. Stay longer and I'll take it as you wanting to mock my imprisonment."

Scarlet pressed her head against the glass, letting all her feeling build up for Adda in one last moment. "I'll ask about them giving you more humane conditions. After that, you're on your own. Goodbye Adda. I loved you. I really, really did."

When Scarlet looked up, Adda was right there with her. "I loved you too Redd. Sayōnara."

Adda returned to her seat, and Scarlet walked away, leaving the old pirate to her solitude alone.

Scarlet fumbled around in the dark with a torch. “I’d like to go back up now.”

"He will show you the way." Bonegrinder slithered in the correct direction, allowing Scarlet ot follow him. "Did you obtain your sense of closure?"

“Best I could achieve. I don’t think she should be treated this way though.”

"Many would argue with you, little lady." Bonegrinder reminded Scarlet. "There are many who want her dead. Imagine what conditions they'd put her in. This is... as humane as it gets."

“She doesn’t get any sunlight. What are we if we treat our enemies this way?”

"Our enemies would not show us the mercy of allowing a capture to live, Scarlet." Bonegrinder reminded the woman. "The enemy we are going to fight will spare no one. No innocents, no criminals, no one."

Scarlet said nothing. Returning to the surface, she felt her stomach grumble. “Maybe some food before leaving.”

"He is sure the palace chef will be more than happy to fix you a meal." Bonegrinder smacked his lips, rolling that serpentine tongue. "He recommends the strawberry creme puffs by Chef Sophie. She's an old lady now, but still can cook with the best of them."

At the table, Scarlet was doing her best to have her full. At the table, Revy was giving the orphans and Seija there first Hylian experience. “This here is called a chocolate strawberry. Its dunked in molten chocolate.” Scarlet chuckled. Sometimes it was easy to forget Hyrule was a second home to Revy. She barely left Uskar anymore, but a nostalgia glint could be found in her voice. “Any of you kids want to see Princess Orana’s zoo of wonders in the countryside?”

The kids were eager to see the animals and begged to go right then. Yet, it was dinner time and soon enough, bed time. Tomorrow would be the better choice. Rat dazzled them with promises of seeing Orana's Molagani tigers. Ever since Corsaire rescued her first tiger, Mahaan, from the unsavory market, she had kept a few in captivity to try to replenish the numbers, releasing a few into the wild after intense training. He recalled how happy she was when Corsaire brought Mahaan to her with a little blue bow wrapped around his neck. The first mate also remembered how brokenhearted Orana was when Mahaan finally passed away due to old age. He lived to be almost 23 years old. Sighing, Rat excused himself from the table to get a bit of fresh air on the balcony. He could sense it. Something was changing.

Scarlet joined him, patting his back. “You ok?”

"Aye, me's just thinking." Rat admitted to his lover, stargazing at the night sky. "Just remembering old times. I don't suppose you think me daft for missing those days when Cap'n, the crew, and me-self would go diving for treasure?"

“Course not. But I’d have never got to be with you.”

"Aye, dats true." Rat nodded his head. Then said, suddenly, "Me's old now, Scarlet. Thinking back on things I wish I could a-change. Thinking about time lost. If it would have gone different if I had a-changed me-self."

“Tell me what you’d want to change.”

"Wish me'd just knocked you out and dragged you along to Uskar with me for one." Rat chuckled. "Ice woulda been in the way." He then said, "Wish I could have taken Revy more to see the world when she was younger. Get that self-sacrifice nonsense out of her head. Had forgiven you earlier, that's a big one, but Borgie definitely helped with that. That's for us, but for me-self, I..." He sighed heavily. "More than anything, I wished I could have saved Bomba."

Scarlet looked away, still guilty by that all these years. Everyone played scenarios in there head over and over on how they’d saved him; done things differently. “I’d have accepted a fantastic friendship with ya if I still had the little man at my side.”

"Ya know, Bomba always talked about having a family one day and settling down since he was an orphan." Rat chuckled and told Scarlet with a grin. "He'd brag about how he was going to hook the hottest pair of legs on the town, romance her something fierce with flowers and sea jaunties, and then buy her the fattest ring he could find. Then he said they'd have a dozen kids and a boat with a white picket fence around the mast." The ex-pirate rolled his eyes. "Silly one, that kid. Still can't believe he blew off only two of his fingers while he messed with that dangerous powder. Annoying sometimes, but had a heart of gold."

Scarlet leaned over the balcony railing, sighing as she clapped her hands together. “Feel like it’s my fault at times you know. I was the one who showed Adda details on the Wind Waker. I’m the one who thought we should have controlled that dragon and the other pirates instead of just sinking them into the sea. Thought it was mercy.... I saw Adda again today Rat.”

"... can't say I'm pleased with you a-going to see her." Rat had mixed feelings about Scarlet going to see Adda. Perhaps she needed closure. Maybe she needed to ask why. He was not sure, but either way, he was fearful of Scarlet being hurt. "Regardless of what you did, your intention was not to get Bomba killed."

“No. But me leaving Adda left her alone to the worst people. Should have taken her captive when we first found you in Uskar. Let her live in better conditions than she is now. Let her learn that she could have been a good mother. I left her at the worst time. Only made things worse on all sides.”

"Now you're being silly." Rat turned to look at Scarlet. "You can't blame yourself for her actions, Scarlet. You didn't force her to make those choices. You's ain't her keeper."

“She replaced me with Seer. Look how that turned out. She looked to me to back up and challenge her choices. Because I didn’t have a backbone, I left her to a bunch of yes men.”

"Seer didn't want to be used as a replacement. He wanted to stay in Uskar with his girls. And you are not responsible for Adda." Rat gently pulled Scarlet into a hug. "I know you want to see the good in her, but you're not her guardian, her mother, or the one that's in charge of her actions. That's all on her. Don't think anymore of it. I don't want you to feel guilty over it."

Scarlet hugged Rat tight. He could feel something burning in her to get out. When she saw Corsaire and Prince Ralnor holding casual conversation, she patted Rat and marched up to them. “Hello there gentlemen. Hope I’m not interrupting anything. I had a request on my mind.”

"I'm telling you, if we put in a bigger engine the weight wouldn't be---" Corsaire stopped mid-sentence when Scarlet approached.

"What might it be, Scarlet?" Ralnor was getting rather tired of the captain's constant refusal to try to build a larger engine. Advancements had to be made.

“I know you’ll never give Adda better conditions for imprisonment. I want you to execute her.”

"...?!?!?!"

Both men looked equally stunned by Scarlet's request. "Well... that..." Corsaire took a moment to regain his composure. "I'm not against it. She has done some serious crimes."

"Might I ask why the sudden request when we tried to have this happen years ago and a select few were against it?" Ralnor quirked an eyebrow.

“Because I didn’t know she’d be treated like some slimy Like-Like locked away in an underground, lightless box. It’s inhumane. Just let her die so everyone can move on.” Scarlet crossed her arms, using some ‘logic’ she heard the prince enjoyed. “You want me to replace King Malik right? I don’t know who he is, but if I do that, he has no reason to keep Adda alive anyways right?”

"That is a valid point." Ralnor did appreciate her logic. Malik had not had questions for Adda in a couple of years. Perhaps it was the end of her usefulness. "Very well then. I will set a date for her execution."

"...? It's that easy?"

"No one knows she's alive besides us anyhow."

"Ah... well, I suppose that is true."

“Ok. So... tomorrow morning I, what, march up to his door?”

"..? You?" Ralnor looked puzzled. He misheard being so focused on Adda’s upcoming death. "You want to kill her?"

“What?! No!” Scarlet turned pale, suddenly losing her guts. In her haste to get on with her life, she had confused the prince. “I meant Malik. No. Not kill him. Dethrone. Uh-“

"Oh. Do not worry, the snake and I will handle that." Ralnor assured Scarlet.

“But. I’m the one taking charge. I should go there to transfer the peace and title.” She looked to Rat and Corsaire. “I doubt Rat and the crew would listen to some random Captain if Corsaire was suddenly replaced with no explanation. That’s a mutiny in the making. Even Adda knew this.”

"If you wish to accompany me, then by all means you are welcome." Ralnor then gave her a fair warning. "However, I doubt Malik will step down... willingly. But that shall not be a problem. We all know that the snake has the right playing cards."

“What.” Scarlet crossed her arms. “Blackmail?”

"Let's just say the snake and Malik have an interesting past together." Ralnor told Scarlet. "The less said the better."

Scarlet felt something really off about how the prince said that. Looking to Corsaire, she felt conflicted. “Corsaire. Is this Malik a bad guy? Like Adda?”

"... he was once known as 'Klinge'." Corsaire almost shuddered. "An undead commander who once guarded the queen with such ferocity."

"Until said queen was able to use her magic to reverse his curse." Ralnor told Scarlet. "Even though she is reagent, Zarazu is still powerful."

“Klinge? The Blade of the Gerudo? Revy saw him as a legend growing up.” Scarlet frowned, tapping her foot. “That’s who you want me to go ask to step down?”

"Yes." Ralnor had no qualms about the process. "My father was ignorant enough to pass the Tri-Force piece of Power to him. You and I both know that there's a high chance he could risk going down the pathway of darkness. A risk we cannot take."

Scarlet turned to whisper in Corsaire’s ear. “He sounds like Adda. That’s scaring me.”

Corsaire tried to get her to hush, but it was too late.

"You know, I have quite keen hearing and if I scare you more than the snake, then you are a child that he has picked to lead the Gerudo." Ralnor remarked with a glare. "Remember this, Scarlet, I am the hand that keeps the peace in the kingdom. No matter who or what gets in my way, it will be... removed. Permanently." The second born prince was definitely as cold as ice just as the rumors said. And scary to boot. "I am not the one who conned this plan. The snake did. I am simply trying to follow his instructions to keep my niece safe. Prophecy or not, Luimaya's wellness and my family's safety are tantamount to other objectives. If you are thinking I am like Adda who will sacrifice those dear to me to get what I want, then you are gravely mistaken." He took a sip of his wine. "If I am not preferable for you, then be my guest. Let the snake lead you there."

“No. I’m sorry. I apologize Prince Ralnor.” Scarlet bowed her head, embarrassed at her actions.

"That's what I thought." Ralnor set down his empty glass. "Whether or not you believe Malik to be a legend, a hero, or even a damn saint, he will give up his throne if it means saving those he cares about. If not, then he will be in for a hard lesson from the snake." He then told Scarlet. "While I have my lines that I draw, Bonegrinder does not. He will willingly devour anyone in his path to see that the Mother Goddess inherits Luimaya as her host to battle Chaos for this world. If you cannot convince Malik, if I cannot, then he will be in danger... and his family." The prince then clasped his hands together, walking back inside. "It is late, Scarlet. Get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day."

"..." Corsaire stood there beside Scarlet for a moment before advising her. "Lassie. Look. Me and you don't have the best of track records, but I say this because I mean it," He took a breath and then said, "If anyone can convince that bastard... it's you."

“Malik. Or Bonegrinder? I don’t like the idea of us hurting some man’s family.”

"Malik... and perhaps convince the snake to view a little light in the world."

________________________________________________________________

Crossover with @ridersoftheapocalypse

Previous Part:

#Crossover #Conversation done by myself between Scarlet and Adda. Last civil one they will have #Scarlet #Captain Adda #Bonegrinder

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alethiaii · 5 years ago

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TROS is the movie fandom deserves but not the one it needed

Alright, I’ve seen the movie today. When I got home, my father asked me how the movie was. If I had to describe it in one sentence it would be “Flash, trash and a lot of cash.”

My immediate thought as opening crawl glided across the screen was that they really went with the minimal time difference they thought would be acceptable after TLJ decided to start like 48 hours following the destruction of Starkiller base. Oh, and there was a guy four rows behind me, asking very loudly “What do they mean, Palpatine?” The movie, with all the scene changes and scavenger hunt, feels like an expensive but ultimately very bad video game. And that’s on top of the feeling of it being actually made out of five different movies that were chopped for parts that were then put together by duct tape.

In less then five minutes, there were ten scene changes. It’s not even plot, plot, plot with no decent characterization. It’s an infodump that yields no logical results whatsoever with a shit ton of OT nostalgia pandering.

Everyone’s characters were flushed down the toilet in some ludicrous effort of damage control or something. Anyway, they managed to retcon not just TLJ but also TFA.

Poe, Finn, and Rey arguing is anxiety-inducing. That’s not a trio. Possibly the only character they shoved into this movie that had some kind of consistency was Armitage Hux. Him being the spy for the Resistance because of simple pettiness of wanting Kylo Ren to fail tracks to their previous interactions. That’s it. The rest...massacred beyond repair. It’s probably a good thing Adam Driver had few lines to speak in TROS.

Space Coachella. Yup, that’s a thing. Lando Calrissian to crank up nostalgia pandering to the maximum. Also, TROS has an even worse time schedule than the space chase from TLJ. The unnecessary drama around 3PO. Boring stuff. Oh! Poe Dameron, son of famed Rebel fighters, used to smuggle spice before becoming a Republic pilot and then Resistance member. Spice! Very often used in SW universe as an umbrella term for various drugs. I’m sure his parents would have been very proud. The fuck JJ?

Finn...Where do I start? John Boyega can act okay. And yet...wasted. From an interesting character of a brainwashed stormtrooper with possibly latent Force sensitivity to being Rey torchbearer and a fuckboy. Awesome. And since I am talking about Finn, are we gonna talk about the atrocity of the other former Stormtroopers that rebelled and JJ managed to completely rob that vital, life-altering decisions they made of their own free will by crediting the Force giving them a nudge. I...wow.

I guess Exogol was supposed to be something like the Valley of the Sith Lords on Korriban. Cheap, shallow knock off. They managed to make Palpatine boring. Speaking of him, who fucked the shriveled raisin and had a kid with him? Because the other option is even more gross and horrifying.

So Rey and Ben. Apparently Force bond can do anything now, even passing physical objects to each other on command. Cool. But more importantly...THAT’S NOT HOW FORCE HEALING WORKS YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBFUCK! IF IT DID, THE JEDI HEALERS OF THE OLD ORDER WOULD HAVE BEEN DROPPING DEAD LIKE FLIES!

Rey Palpatine sounds like something JJ read on subredit and decided to go with it. There was absolutely no one in the theatre I was in that had any reaction besides occasional choked laughter. That’s it. Oh, one little girl asked ‘Why’.

Let’s not forget that apparently Leia was fully trained to be a Jedi but then quit at the last second cause she saw some darkness taking her son and yet I have questions. One: When exactly did this training happen? And two: If Leia Organa Skywalker Solo was a Jedi in all but final declaration as such, why the fuck did she not protect and help her son who has been haunted by Palpatine since he was in her womb?! Honest to fuck, ya’ll screaming about Luke’s character assassination when Leia was so butchered, it’s amazing. This woman who fought tooth and nail against Empire and Palpatine, instead of trying to find a way to shield her son, she kept on looking at him for any signs of Vader and when he was too much for her to handle, she dumped him on Luke. Who then had a moment of weakness and tried to murder him. Which he never told Leia and Han about. Han who got killed by his own son without knowing any speck of truth. Because Leia and Luke said nothing as he was not Force-sensitive so he wouldn’t understand.

But Leia and Luke did all that and yet...were completely aware at all times that Rey was the granddaughter of a person who managed to tilt their father towards the darkness and actively encouraged her, giving her positive reinforcement. Something they completely denied their own blood. Cool, cool, cool.

“Don’t be afraid of who you are.” ARE YOU SERIOUS MOTHERFUCKER?!

Don’t be afraid...you literally were afraid of your own child from the moment he was born and failed to provide him with not only adequate parenting but protection.

So...they crammed all them past Jedi, including Anakin Skywalker, to give Rey (who is not the Rey I saw in TFA and TLJ) strength to fight Palpatine. Cause she’s all Jedi. OP much?

The third act was so crammed with everything, honestly, the only good thing is Adam Driver showing everyone who Ben Solo was once free from all that dark miasma without saying one fucking word. All body language and facial expressions. That kiss...maybe for Ben Solo it was love, but considering how Rey was done until that point, that was more grateful kind of kiss than kissing your fucking soulmate. Who then drops dead two seconds later. And she doesn’t like...have not even two minutes of even low key grief.

In the end, the cherry on top of nostalgia pandering, they decided to do a binary sunset on Tatooine with Rey. At which point, Rey had scavenged Kylo Ren/Ben Solo’s lightsaber skills, his life, and his family’s name. The Rise of the Skywalker is Palpatine becoming a Skywalker. Like Thor’s name, Skywalker name is now transferrable to an unrelated person by them simply saying so.

It was atrocious fail at fanservice to appease first and foremost OT fans that had been yapping on various comments and YouTube how TLJ killed Star Wars. And every other screamer. Cowardly to say the least because when you look at comments and reviews for OT, PT and ST movies, you’ll find a ridiculously large amount of similar ones. People have been screaming about SW movies not being right since the 80′s yet Disney decided to cave in. So congrats, Star Wars fandom, this movie is not what we needed but it is absolutely what we deserve. A Palpatine saga about stealing Skywalker family name.

The only conclusion as to the moral of the whole story that JJ Abrams tried to convey?

Anakin Skywalker should have never been born or Qui-Gon Jinn should have left him on Tatooine as a slave.

#nina is rambling again #sw #tros spoilers #star wars #i'll probably have more to say tomorrow

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imagining-sio · 6 years ago

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Escapism V

Biker!Bucky X reader

Chapter V: James

Something defintely changed over the next few weeks. I found it odd that Rumlow kept his distance, I hadn’t heard a peep, nor even seen his face. Surprisingly, I had no encounters with any officers even though I had been expliitly told by everyone that they were in his back pocket.

That and the fact Bucky was now the replacement for thor in the ordering of coffees. Every time he came in he gave a wierd excuse for Thor not being present, of course it was to please Edna, whom took it in good strides. Eventually, she just found it to be amusing to see what outlandish thing he could come up with.

It was the same case this morning, I walked back from handing a beverage to a small pair of men in suits. They looked like they were travelling, they mostly kept to themselves and didn’t really talk to anyone else but each other. They clearly weren’t from around here.

Enda looked up at the door when the bell jongled, signalling a new customer walking in. She glanced over at me with a satisfied look.

My neighbor nervously sauntered into the shop. His white shirt stained with grease, as was his usual attire. His tattoed sleeve on his left arm drew attention from some of the customers, mostly the ones who were ogling him. I couldn’t blame them, I still don’t know how his legs could have fit into the light wash jeans he wore.

“Hello James; is Thor off sprocketing again?” She said with raised brows, watching his nervous, shifty expression. He stuttered over his words, his arm rubbing the back of his neck; extending his shirt to reveal the left half of his hip, as well as what type of under wear brand he uses.

I took a deep breathe before walking by him, occaionsally setting dirty dinnerware upon the tray.

“Good morning Bucky,” I said slyly, making him jump.

“M-morning Y/n.”

“The usual James?” Enda asked, catching the man’s attention.

“Hm- Oh! yes, please.” He replied, almost doing a double take.

“Something on your mind?” I eavesdropped from the back room. Occasionally peeking over my shoulder, watching Barnes self destruct.

“oH, NO-NO; just jittery from not having coffee yet.”

“Isn’t it after you have coffee that you get the jitters.” Enda prompted to ask, smiling at his wide eyed expression. Enda laughed, which only to make Bucky ore on edge.

“I’m messing with you James, You know where to sit. We’ll get you order for you.”

“Thanks Edna. And please, don’t call me that.”

“Well apart from your, Mother who else is going to?” She said walked back into the backroom, giving me a smirk.

“What?” I furrowed my brows, drying my hands off.

“If you two aren’t together by the end of this week; I’m gonna have to talk to his mother about it.”

I swore I almost dropped the plate I had in hand. There was still a loud clatter, but thankfully nothing broke.

“Why me? What makes you think I wanna be with him.”

“Oh, please. You two argue like you’ve been married for years. Yesterday, you had a debate for five minutes on wether or not sprocketing was even a thing.”

“Because its not!” I said, my tone defensive.

“Well, I think you two are good for each other.”

“Where could you get that from.” I threw the towel over the drying rack, untying my red apron from my outfit. I grabbed the large bags that held all of the sandwiches while Enda put the drinks in their carriers. I held the door open with my waist, making sure she was able to walk out first without problem.

“Here you go James,” She handed him the drinks.

“Thanks, Ed.” He pecked her on the cheek, making the elderly woman blush.

“Ready to go?” he turned toward me, a small smile gracing his lips. I nodded my head, his smile grew contagious and spread to my lips as well. He strode ahead of me, making sure to open the door, even though his hands were full.

“I could’ve gotten that you know,” I told him.

“I know.” He smirked, his charm bouncing back full force. I could only roll my eyes fondly.

“So, anything new happening?” I asked as we walked down the street toward the crosswalk.

“Not much, we’re still havig trouble landing a place for the cookout next week. We usually have it at the park, but the farmer’s market threw a wrench in our plans.”

“Oh?”

“No one really wants a buch of gearheads at a farmers market with their exhaust pipes.” He shrugged, pretending it didn’t bug him. I knew better. Bucky, as well as the rest of the shop had been trying to get me to go, almost pestering me everyday.

“Is there an alternative?”

“Not at the moment no. Wanda doesnt wwanna use the bar, we kinda trashed it last year. We helped clean up, but she doesnt wanna risk having to buy another jukebox.”

“I see. Was it you or Sam who broke it?” I nudged mockingly. He chuckled, his shoulders jutting forward as he laughed.

“Nah, that was all Tony, when he’s drunk he likes to trick things out. He may be a genius but he can make some stupid desicions when wasted.”

A though popped into my head at that moment. I watched as the crosswalk turned green, signalling our right of way. Not that it mattered, there weren’t enough cars to make a difference.

“You could have it at my place.” I blurt out. As soon as the words left my lips, I winced, not wanting to see nor gage his reaction.

“Really?” he lit up.

“I mean, yeah. I have private access to the lake. My backyard should be big enough. Just as long as they park on your side of the street. I just finished gardening.” I shrugged, trying not to make it out to be a big deal.

“Are you serious? This isn’t a joke?”

“Why would I be joking Barnes?” I shook my head exasperated.

“You would do that?” we walked into the shop’s large garage entrance. Steve immeadiately went to grab the coffe, quickly skirting out of peripheral. Sam walked up on my flank, eyeing my neighbor as he slid the bags out of my hands.

“I-I mean yeah. It’s neighborly.” I said lamely, my shoulders hunching up to my neck. He blinked at me, his mouth slightly agape. I took a sheepish step back, swallowing the butterflies jumping around my stomach.

“Well, lemme know when you guys wanna have the cookout. I can-“ I started, but I felt a jolt forward. Bucky grabbed hold of my arms and envoloped me in a tight hug. His arms encased my width easily. I could only inhale the scent of his greasy shirt, sensing the mixture of motor oil and his oclonge he used. I slowly started to reurn the favor.

“You don’t know how much this means to me.” He pulled back, far enough that I was still in his grip.

“It’s no problem, really.” I deflected, trying to stop the bright red tint flaring upon my cheeks. For once I was actually excited to have friends over. I was excited to have friends.

Little did I know; thats where it all went haywire.

It took me a whole week to make sure my home was spotless. I had mostlikely cleaned the house three times out of sheer panic. The bathroom was cleaned almost everytime I used it. I stocked my fridge full of beverages both alcoholic and non.

I started the day as usual. I showered and got dressed in a casual crop top and destroyed jeans. I roamed around the house barefoot, since I had no need ot be going anywhere.

I tried my hand at baking around lunch, and was somewhat sucessful. I made three batches of biscuits, which was plently for the whole group. However when it came to sweets, I failed in that department.

As I wafted the smoke detector with my rag, I heard a knock on the door. No one was supposed to be here for at least two more hours. Then again, no one ever showed up on time.

“Just a second!” I shouted, finally getting the smoke detector to stop blaring, I strode toward the door.

“You guys are a little early dont you think-“ My words fell out of my mouth.

“Actually I think I’m right on time.” Yon Rogg turned around, a smug smile plastered on his face. He peeked over my shoulder; analyzing my home.

“Love what you’ve done with the place.”

“What are you doing here?” I tried to remain emotionless as possible, but my white knuckle grip on the door proved otherwise.

“I wanted to see how you were doing. Can’t I see my favorite person in the world?” He strode into my home, tainting it with every step he took. I pursed my lips, taking a deep breath. I looked out across the street, seeing my neighbor walking out the door. My adrenaline spiked as soon as I saw his bright blue eyes. He waved from across the street, calling my name. I shook my head, slamming the door; hoping he understood.

“You’re neighbor seemed pleasant.” Rogg spoke up from the kitchen, helping himself to the fresh biscuits.

“What do you want.” I stated, venom spilling out of my voice.

“I wanted to say Hello, Y/N,” he took a bite of the baked delicacy, eyeing me up and down.

“No you don’t.”

“Oh, you know me so well. I love how clean the place is. Looks like I may have rubbed off on you.” He stood before me. His stature towered over mine, the alarm bells in my head were running at full volume.

“I told you we were done.” I took a step back, only for him to follow with me.

“Oh, I could never be done with you, honey.” He set the biscuit down on the counter. His tone turned dark, I looked past him to fnd my purse, whee my pepper spray was kept.

“Did you really think you could hide from me? You give yourself too much credit.” He backed me up against the wall. His hand slammed flat next to my head, makign me jump.

“You could never get rid of me, sweetheart. You know how the game is.” I flinched as his hand came up to my face, caressing my cheek.

A knock came at my door, jutting the conversation to a halt. I ducked out from under Yon, walking toward the wooden gate to my threshold. Upon opening it, I was relieved to find my neighbor on the other side, with a stack of small boxes in hand.

“Hey, Y/n!” He smiled, though I could see the concern in his eyes; “I know I’m early but I thought I coud help set up for tonight.”

“Thanks,” I smiled, making sure that the man in my home would never see my neighbors face. Not if I had anything to say about it.

Bucky had other ideas.

“I tried going through you gate but it was locked.” He stepped inside, giving the man in the kitchen a hard glare.

“I didn’t know you had company.” He said plainly, though I could easily spot the suspicion in his tone.

“Yon was just passing through town. Thought he would say ‘hi’. Don’t worry, he’s not staying.” I spoke before the man could get a word in edgewise.

“Yes, I was just leaving actually. I have many clinets to get back to as you well know. Kree Inc, won’t take care of itself.”

“Kree Inc?” Bucky set the boxes down on the breakfast table near the window.

“You never heard of it?” Yon asked incredulously, adjusting the linen suit he wore

“No, can’t say I have. We don’t here much in a small town like this.” Bucky stood straight, sizing the man up; “How do you know Y/n.” He jutted his chin as Yon walked up to him, standing toe to toe with the man. Bucky still had an inch over him, as well as a few pounds of muscle.

“Y/n is- was, my fiance.” Yon straightened his tie dismissively. Bucky’s eyes widened at the statement, his fists balling up. He looked at me, the disbelief still evident. I could only cast my gaze on the floor, nodding my head.

“Well then, aren’t you two the happy couple.” Bucky smirked as he watched Yon’s expression harden. I fiddled with my watch upon my wrist.

“Bucky,” I chided him.

“Well, been nice meting you John,” Bucky stuck his left hand out. Yon raised a brow, but met the man’s hand with his own. The two shook hands, but something was different. They stared each other down like they were looking down the barrel of a gun. For Bucky’s case he might as well have been. Yon however, he grmaced near the end of the shake, finally relenting his hand.

“Quite a grip you got.” Yon rubbed his hand, walking past the man and toward the door.

“Y/n, my dear, always a pleasure.” Yon pecked the side of my cheek, it took everything in my power not to gag as I reached for the front door.

“Just go,” I muttered under my breath, the desperation in my voice made him smile. It was sickeneing.

“Nice to meet you, Billy.” Yon said over his shoulder as he passed through the threshold. I slammed the door before Bucky could retort. That didn’t stop him from trying.

“It’s Bucky!” He shouted. I ran up to him, covering his mouth with my hand. He gave me a quizzical look at my actions. Once I heard the start of his engines I remained silent. I waited with bated breath as the engine of his expensive sports car drove off and finally out of earshot.

“What did you ever see in him?” Bucky said with disdain, his hand encasing mine. I shoved him as hard as I could, causing his back to knock into the counter. He merely laughed at first, before he saw my enraged expression.

“What is the matter with you!” I shouted, wringing my hands through my hair. I began pacing.

“Wait; what did I do?”

“What didn’t you do James!” I threw my arms up exasperated; “You don’t know him like I do Bucky. He will pick you apart bit by bit. Trust me I know. He isn’t a CFO for nothing.”

“So, I could take him.” He crossed his arms childishly.

“This isn’t something you can punch your way out of, James.” I pointed at him. He eyed me from where I stood, a glint in his bright blue irises.

“Since when did you call me James,” He snorted. I rolled my eyes.

“Since you decided to barge in and almost start a fist fight with my ex.”

“So what, he probably deserved it.”

“You don’t get to make that choice.” I retorted.

“Oh, and you do?”

“YES!” I shouted, my hands resting at my hips. I watched as Bucky’s expression changed, his eyebrows furrowing. He gyrated his hips, making his upper body follow with him; pushing himself off the side of the island’s ledge. He uncrossed his arms as he approached, still not uttering a sound. I stood straight as his left hand reached out, liftng the hem of my crop top a little highter; thus exposnig the raised line of tissue on my side.

“He do this?” He traced the scar with a delicate, feather light touch. The back of his finger caressed the scar, as if it were still fresh and would reopen if he put too much pressure on it. I tried to cool the warmth pooling in my stomach, only staring at his face, which was locked on the eight inch long scar.

“Yeah, he did.” I whispered beneath my exhale. His nostrils flared, he bit his bottom lip hard as he raised his head. He took a deep breath, his chest heaving a few times. He backed up a few steps, his arm rubbing the back of his neck. His other fist balled up again, I could hear his knuckles crack from the pressure.

“Bucky-“ My stomach dropped.

“I’ll be back.”

“What?”

“I’m gonna kill him.” I heard him mutter under his breath. He marched toward the door. Now the alarm bells were sounding in my head.

“What! Bucky wait!” I scrambled to stop him. I tried to grab his arm, only for him to evade my grasp easily. He was getting closer to the door. I had no choice.

I jumped on his back, causing him to stagger backward from the weight.

“What are you doing!” He shouted, one of his hands latching on to the underside of my thigh. He was quickly loosing balance, and we toppled to the rug covered floor, in a heap.

“Do not go after him!” I wrestled with him as he tried to get back up. I latched on to his wrists, someway, somehow wrangling myself to get on top of him. I threw my weight into my arms, planting his wrists above his head on the floor. I straddled his waist, effectively planting his center of gravity to the ground.

“Bucky, listen to me! Do not, under any circustances; go after him!” I heaved, finding the ordeal heavily exhausting. He blinked at me with his ocean blue eyes, his expression blank and half lidded.

“I don’t care if you don’t like him. And for once in your life, just listen to me.” I lessened my grip tentitavely, gaging his reaction to see if he would try anything.

“Okay.” He spoke softly, his word breathing life back into my lungs. My shoudlers sagged in relief, hanging my head as a sigh escaped my lips. I finally released my hold on him, but I was far too lazy to actually get up.

I felt his hands against my hips. the sensation made my head snap back up to him. He was giving me a mischevious smirk. It was only then I realized the predicament I had gotten myself in.

“You know,” he said, a smile growing on his face; “If you wanted me under you, you could’ve just asked.”

“You’re disgusting,” I couldn’t help but laugh, trying to quell the warm feeling in my stomach. His laughter didn’t make it any better. I stood to my feet, not bothering to help him up. I rumaged through the boxes on th eisland counter, finding a load of multicolored market lights.

“What do I need these for? It’s not christmas.” I looked back at him, finding that he was watching me from the floor. He rolled his eyes, finally opting to get to his feet.

“No, they’re for decoration; honey.” He placed the lights back in the box. Stacking them one atop another, he nodded his head int he direction of my backyard.

“C’mon I’ll need your help.”

“Oh by all means then,” I replied condescendingly; “Lead the way fearless one.”

He laughed in respone, making me smile.

After an hour, we had the all three boxes strung up all over the place. Some were stung along the edges of the dock, lighting it up like an airport runway. Others were around trees, and connecting between them. By the time we were turning them on, the sun was beginning to set beneath the mountain, casting the shadow needed to make the lights glisten. We exchanged glances, both satisyfied with our handiwork.

Which was perfect timing, because that when weveryone was starting to show up. Thor brought his pickup, housing most of the food and chairs. Sam also brought his beat up vehicle, its model and make foreign to me.

“Let’s get this party started!” he walked through the gate to my backyard, holding a pair of tongs and a bag of charcoal.

“We gotta get the grill frist, dumbass.” Bucky rolled his eyes, elbowing the man. Wilson gave a defeated Aw in reponse before following the brunette.

“Wow, I love what you’ve done with the place.” Wanda walked into view. I noticed she had a towel in hand. and her top was a halter bikini top.

“You’ve been here before?” I asked.

“My brother used to live here. He was close with everyone; we usually had the cookouts here anyways.” She smiled fodnly, as if recalling the memories in her head.

A loud shout from Clint drew our attention, watching as he sprinted toward the dock. His flip flop caught on on e of the boards, causing him to stumble straight into the water. The brunette and I laughed.

“Somethings don’t change though.” she laughed. Thor was setting up the snacks on the picnic table as if he’d done it a million times. Steve was carrying all the cups and plates, holding the gate open for Bucky and Sam, whom were arguing with each other as they brought the grill in. I watched as they set the large round grill down, Bucky, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his arm. His gaze met mine, and he returned the smile I had on my lips.

“Alright lets get this thing started!”Sam perked, pouring the charcoal on the grill.

Everything hit me then and there. This rag tag group of people who welcomed me into there group with open arms. They were more than friends. They were a family. The fact they welcomed me into their group could only mean I was soon to be in their family as well. It felt safe, secure, stable. Like nothing I had experienced in a while. The cookout went with out a hitch. Music was palying, people were happy. I was content. Even with what had transpired earlier that day; I would usually start my way into packing up and heading to the next nowhere small town as fast as I could. For some reason, I didn’t want to leave this place. I wanted to build a life here. It was a profound feeling, but I knew I didn’t want to leave. I liked that feeling. I had become less tense over my stay here, I couldn’t let Yon try to ruin by simply knowing where I was. He was right, I could never hide from him. But I could be happy. Happy was something I hadn’t felt in a long long time.

As everyone was starting to pack up and head out for the night, others were cleaning up, or hitching rides from the people who brought vehicles. It was hilarious to see a drunken Sam try and pawn a ride off of Thor, who was indifferent to the whole situation.

Bucky however, hadn’t spoken to me the whole night. Yes, he had kept his distance, but I wasn’t so oblvious to feel his eyes on me as held conversation with the others.

Bucky and Thor were draggin the grill back over to his place. Steve was escorting evryone back to their designated drivers. I was getting rid of the trash when Natasha walked over to help me.

“You two need to get a room.” SHe said abruptly, makng me trip over my feet.

“What?” I shot up.

“You and Bucky. You two need to get a room. I am not about to lose forty bucks to Sam for another week.”

“Is there a bet I don’t know about.”

“Yeah a whole pool. We all took bets on how long it would take you two to get together. So far Sam is winning.”

“How come?”

“Because he doesn’t think t’s gonna happen.”

“What if it doesn’t?” we tossed the used tablecoth in the trash.

“Then Sam gets to play whatever he wants on the radio for a month, and he gets the cash money.”

“There’s cash!” my eybrows shot up.

“Oh, yeah. Its split half and half in the shop. Everyone is in on it.”

“You guys are weird.” I said, dusting my hands off on my pant legs. The gate creaed open, Steve and the afformentioned neighbor were back.

“You ready Nat? Clint’s been calling you.”

“NAT!” as if on cue, we could hear the man from the street. Natasha shook her head, small smile gracing her lips as she walked out of the backyard.

“Night Y/n,” Steve gave me a burly hug and walked out behind her; leaving me alone with my extremly good looking neighbor.

“Need any help?” Barnes asked, nervouse wringing his hands.

“Nah, just gotta clean up the bottles in the kitchen. You’re welcome to join though,” I said, opening the glass door leading to my home. By the time I turned around, he was already at my side, his eyes lit up like stars.

“I would love to.” He smiled brightly, his cheeks bringht pink, probably from all the alcohol we were drinking. I rolled my eyes, a smile forming on my face as I walked into my home.

“Make yourself at home.” I waved to the couch, which was directly opposite of the island where the bottles had been placed. I grabbed a large trash bag and began placing the glass bottles in. As the black plastic bag grew heavier and more cumbresome, I stuggled to keep it open as I gathered more bottles.

“Here,” Bucky said softly appearing behind me. His hand grazed over mine, reaching for the bottles. I looked up at him, finding a warm smile on his lips. I hled the bag open as he placed the remaining bottles in, finally tying the bag in tight knot.

“Thanks.” I spoke softly, matching his tone. A bright flush of pink flaring on my cheeks, one that wasn’t from the alcohol. I set the bag down next to the trash can, a reminder for tomorrow.

“I’ll take it,” Bucky reached out, his tattooed arm reached past my face. I raised the bag, standing sideways to legnthen my outstretched arm.

“No,” I told him.

“No?”

“You heard me,” I gave him a satisfied smirk. I set the bag down with a thud next to my aluminum trash can. I turned around to find him lungin at me. I barely had time to dodge out of the way as he tossed me over his shoulder.

“Bucky! Put me down!” I was laughing, much to my own chagrin insdie. He twirled around, making the two of us spin.

“James!” I shireked, casuing him to stop. He was laughing at my predicament, walking toward my living room.

“James, put me down this instant.” I said between my feats of laughter.

“If you insist.” He dropped me onto the couch as if I weighed nothign. I flopped onto the cushions, bouncing as I finally came to a stop. I was laughing so hard it hurt. Bucky flopped on top of me, becoming dead weight. I struggled to breathe. I barely could get my legs out from under him, finally pyring them out on either dise of his waist.

“Get off you oaf!” I laughed, trying to push him up and away from my body. Both of us were laughing, mostly from the alcohol. His hands grazed the curve of my waist, his fingers ice cold; I jumped at the sensation. His head snapped up, a wry grin on his face.

“You’re ticklish.” He said plainly. I shook my head violently. His grin only widened, his hands plastering themselves on my back. The ice cold palms made me arch my back, shireking at the subzero temperature.

“James!” I desperately tried to pry him off of me, giggles spewing out from between my lips.

“Say it again.” His voice dropped, his hands splaying out onmy bare skin under my shirt. I could feel his thumb rub back and forth as he did. All of the laughter I had caught in my throat. I looked up at him, his blue eyes gazing directly back at me.

“What?” my eyes flitted between his eyes and his lips.

“Say my name again.” he repeated, his tone even.

“James.” I obliged, my hands grazing over his taught biceps. He dropped his head toward mine, his nose tracing a line up the side of my neck.

“Again.” His tone dropped agian, making the pool in my stomach flare up. I dropped my head back onto the couch.

“James.” My voice became more breathy. I felt his lips upon my neck, leaving a wet trail.

“Again.” he said, barely above a whisper. My fingers threaded through his hair. I felt his lips encase my earlobe, only fueling the fire in my insides. I could feel one of his hands cradling the back of my head, his deft fingers carding through my locks as well. I could barely muster a thought let alone say anything, opting to close my eyes and revell in the moment.

I only opened them again, albeit half lidded; when he ceased. I looked up to find him flitting between my eyes and my lips, slowly, excruitatingly, inching toward me.

“James if you don’t-“

I didn’t have time to finish my sentence. His lips beat me to the punch.

#bucky imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #Biker!bucky #Biker!au #marvel imagines #imagines sio #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes x reader #escapism V #blep

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caysera · 6 years ago

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I've spent a year trying to figure out how to put my feelings about TLJ into words.

Here's the thing, for me, about The Last Jedi. I didn't hate it because it was different. I didn't hate it because they're making way for new characters. For me, to appropriately explain WHY I hated it, we have to go back to 1999.

I was twelve years old, and my parents had gone to see Episode I in theaters when it was released. Up to that point, I really knew nothing about Star Wars, and had no interest in science fiction or any sort of movies set in space. But my dad decided we should all watch the original trilogy as a family, over three consecutive nights.

After watching A New Hope, I was hooked, and it was because of Luke Skywalker. He was young and handsome and setting out on this great adventure, and that appealed to me in a way no movie had before. The Empire Strikes Back was even better! (One word: Dagobah.) Return of the Jedi?! Where he succeeds in rescuing his father from the dark side and proving himself as a Jedi?! Amaaaazzzzing!!! I loved that he came from nothing and changed EVERYTHING, not just in his own life but in the entire GALAXY.

I wanted to learn everything I could about Luke Skywalker! I was thrilled when a friend told me about some books her dad had that followed Luke and gang five years after the end of ROTJ.

I read the entire Thrawn Trilogy in just two weeks. And I loved those books just as much as the movies because of one person: Mara Jade.

I was introduced to Mara at a time in my life where I could identify with the reality of suddenly being uprooted, of thinking that life was going to turn out one way, but then all of it changing in the blink of an eye. I could relate to feeling out of control, when control had been a security blanket for so long. It was a lot for a pre-teen girl to deal with, but at least I had someone I could relate to (even if she wasn't real).

The only problem was that she HATED my hero!!!😭 And he was so kind and gracious towards her, which made me love him that much more. Of course you can imagine my delight when I read Vision of the Future just a few months later.😍

I followed Luke and Mara through both profic and fanfic, and they were everything to me. To say I was obsessed was an understatement. My friends got sick of me talking about them all the time, but I didn't care. To me they may as well have been real.

I remember the gut punch of reading Sacrifice for the first time. I threw the book across the room, tears streaming down my face, and I never finished it. I never read any of the books that followed it either. I couldn't bear to read Luke without Mara. It made my heart ache. To lose her in such a way that was SO out-of-character, and didn't make any sense to the plot, was even more devastating. Why would Jacen's "sacrifice" be his aunt? Why would Mara leave to confront him without telling Luke what she had found out, or at least where she was going? She wasn't killed to advance the plot; she was killed to make waves.

It was even more devastating when Disney snapped their fingers and she disappeared. I had mourned her death seven years before that, but I was not prepared for the grief I felt when she suddenly had never existed at all. Who would Luke be without her? Would they replace her with someone else? No one else is good enough for Luke Skywalker!

Nevertheless, I was cautiously excited to at least see Luke on the big screen again. I sat expectantly through TFA, waiting for my hero to show up and save the day. I waited. And waited. And waited. I watched Han Solo die, and even shed a tear because in some way, it was poetic justice for Mara. Jacen, Ben, Kylo...whatever you want to call him, he's the same person. And this "sacrifice" made a lot more sense. I was sad to see Han go, but I understood the purpose.

But WHERE IS LUKE?!

They made me sit through two hours to see him for two seconds?! Frustrating. But NOW I was pumped for TLJ. Waiting two hours for Luke was hard, now I had to wait two more YEARS.

I initially didn't love the idea that Luke had exiled himself, but I was open-minded. Maybe there was a good reason. Maybe it would all make sense. Oh Disney, I had so much hope in you.

When Luke threw away his father's lightsaber - MARA'S lightsaber - my jaw dropped. When he opened his mouth, my heart sank. This wasn't the Luke I knew and loved at all. This Luke was so far removed from the Luke of the OT and the EU that I didn't know WHO he was.

I held out hope for something amazing to happen for the next two hours...in spite of the growing knot in the pit of my stomach. When I thought he had actually showed up to help Leia, that little spark of hope began to ignite. When I thought we were actually going to see him face his nephew, I was ecstatic. THIS is what I'd been waiting for ever since they announced new movies! ALL I wanted to see in this movie was JEDI MASTER Luke Skywalker!

When he disappeared on Crait, the wind was literally knocked out of me. The cruelty of that trick, the promise that I'd get to see my beloved hero in his true element so quickly snatched away left me speechless.

When he disappeared on Ahch-To, I began to sob.

I've never cried so hard in a movie. The only time I've cried that hard over a fictional character was Mara's death, ten years before.

The credits rolled and I instantly wished I could un-see what I'd just seen. I tried to put on a normal face for my friends, who were already discussing how they'd enjoyed the movie. My legs felt like lead as we walked from the theater, and I felt nauseous. What did I just watch? What's going to happen now? Luke Skywalker IS Star Wars...how are you going to continue Star Wars WITHOUT LUKE SKYWALKER?

Watching Luke die was like watching Mara die all over again. And that felt like a piece of ME died as well. Maybe it sounds dramatic, but those characters got me through some of the hardest times of my life. And no one had the decency to at least give them an ending they deserved.

This movie twisted Luke Skywalker into someone I didn't know, and never wanted to know. It poked fun at me and all of the others who actually wanted to see hero Luke, with lines like: "You think what? I'm gonna walk out with a laser sword and face down the whole First Order?" YES, LUKE, OR WHOEVER YOU ARE, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FROM YOU.

(And, side tangent here, what's with the term "laser sword?" It just doesn't seem right for Luke to call his lightsaber a laser sword. Maybe I'm the only one annoyed by this, and in the grand scheme of the colossal disaster that is TLJ, it's barely even a footnote...but still. I digress.)

There are so many things that are uncertain in the world we live in. All I wanted from this new trilogy was to escape again to a galaxy far, far away and see what sorts of adventures Luke Skywalker has been up to for the last thirty years. Instead, I got a bitter, cynical old man who doesn't care about anyone but himself. I encounter plenty of those in real life...I didn't need to see Luke that way too.

I'm not ragging on those who liked it. You're perfectly entitled to like it. But I didn't, and THAT is why I will never watch TLJ again. And I'll spend the rest of my life trying to forget it.

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