#she wants to be the saviour but she wants to be feared. doesn't want to be the hero. she wants to be the person they think saved them befor

[n1ghtwarden]

i appreciate that there is.... no 'good' or 'bad' ending per say for minth beyond the character choices - either she gets what she wants and controls the absolute with tav/durge, or she.... immediately hatches a (rather foolish) plan to go conquer the underdark and turn it into an empire with herself at the head.

[toffeecoco1]

@perpetualgrey's comment on this post

Ok my first instinct was to laugh, but then I realised you might be onto something???

Shen Yuan is LITERALLY an impostor, who’s more far more kind and beloved by Binghe than the original. The Guanyin pendant is a counterfeit, but it carries the love of Binghe’s mother and is far more precious than any real jade could ever be.

The heartbreak Binghe’s mother felt after realising that the Guanyin pendant was fake and she’d been tricked was part of what lead to the gradual decline of her health.¹ In wanting to do something kind for Binghe, she felt that she’d failed, and this led to her demise. What is Shen Qingqiu’s entire story, but trying to be kind to Binghe, feeling inadequate at this, and dying? (More than once!!)

Guanyin is a Bodhisattva associated with mercy, kindness, compassion and unconditional love. She is a patron of mothers, and is called upon in times of fear, uncertainty, and despair. The Bodhisattva she originated from is seen as a saviour, through whose grace even those with the most negative karma can achieve salvation. Even when she is not worshipped as a goddess, she is revered as the principle of love, compassion and mercy.² From wikipedia, “The act, thought and feeling of compassion and love is viewed as Guanyin. A merciful, compassionate, loving individual is said to be Guanyin.”²

The original Luo Binghe appears never to have lost his pendant. Shen Qingqiu tells us: “It was the only bit of warmth in Luo Binghe’s dark world, always by his side, and even in the future when he was at his darkest, it could summon up his last dregs of humanity.”¹ He also states that “it was Luo Binghe’s biggest berserk button.”¹

Our Luo Binghe does not cling to the pendant when he’s at his darkest: he clings to the love he has for his shizun and to memories of his kindness, and later, to the lifeless body of Shen Qingqiu himself. His biggest berserk button isn’t when people insult the pendant or his mother, or try to take it away; it’s Shen Qingqiu: when people insult him or try to take him away.

From the start, Shen Qingqiu expresses truly unconditional love for Binghe. He spends three years showing endless compassion and kindness, actions which feel insignificant to him but are more than enough to completely change Binghe’s life. He holds no blame or resentment for the things he fears Binghe will do to him; though he doesn’t want to be tortured, he forgives Binghe for it nonetheless, before it has even happened. He sacrifices himself to save Binghe as his mind is eaten away at by Xin Mo, when he believes that Binghe just slaughtered a hundred Huan Hua Disciples, when Binghe’s reckless use of the sword is putting countless more lives at risk.³

Shen Qingqiu is a counterfeit that is more precious than the original could ever be. For Binghe, he personifies kindness, compassion and unconditional love. His regrets over his treatment of Binghe lead to his temporary demise. Binghe clings to him in his darkest moments, and he is that which Binghe protects most fiercely.

I always found the pendant’s role in the story to be almost lacking: it’s treated as such an important item to Binghe, yet in the end its return is almost anticlimactic. But perhaps this is because the role the pendant played in Bing-ge’s story has been overtaken by Shen Qingqiu. When he returns the pendant, Binghe is relieved and appreciative: but his joy seems to stem more from the fact that Shen Qingqiu held onto it and cherished him than from the pendant itself. The pendant doesn’t matter all that much to him anymore, at least not compared to how important it seems to have been in PIDW. Binghe doesn't need an object to symbolize love and kindness; he has a person to love, who loves him back.

In conclusion: Shizun was in fact the fake jade Guanyin pendant all along!

sources cited below :)

1. Seven Seas Volume 1, Chapter 1: Scum. Pages 40-41.

2. “Guanyin,” Wikipedia. There’s a lot more to her than what I mentioned here, she’s quite interesting.

3. Seven Seas Volume 2, Chapter 8: Death. Pages 154-156.

[extremely-judgemental]

Feyre doesn't love anyone. This is a speculation and I don't have the strength to go through the books again. So take this with a grain of salt.

All her life Feyre feels neglected. She is traumatised and forms no decent bond with anyone till the age of nineteen. She is estranged with her sisters and father. She doesn't have any friends. The only one she gets close to is Isaac with whom she shares an intimate relationship but no other attachment since he's a distraction and a means to numb her pain. At this point, she's so out of touch with her emotions that she can't even identify them, like the moment Nesta brings up Isaac and she vaguely feels something close to jealousy but nothing else, even that's more likely fear of losing her emotional outlet.

In Spring, she unwittingly bonds with Lucien and Tamlin. But she never comes to fully trust them because she's used to having her own back and not to rely on others. Feyre never loves Tamlin. She develops an attachment with him not out of love but in a gratitude sort of way as he's everything she needs, someone who sees her, someone who cares for her and looks out for her, someone she expected her family to be for her. There is no way to prove if she has real feelings for him. We would have known it if she had declared her love sooner. She risks her life for him but it's not just out of love. Feyre has the tendency to take every burden upon herself to make herself useful and feel important. Proof, she took up hunting when she could have done literally anything else. It fulfills the promise she made to her mother. Higher the risk, the better. Even if she fails, she tried 'everything' to take care of her loved ones, she can't be blamed. Moreover she thrives in dangerous situations. At first, in Spring, the danger is Tamlin himself. Later when she see him for who he is, she starts seeking more and more like going to Calanmai for no reason, when clearly warned to stay away and she knew other fae were going to be present. Then, loving Tamlin in itself is the ultimate danger since she's human and he's a fae and Amarantha would hunt her. After UtM, life in Spring is not gratifying anymore. Feyre loses the sense of identity and risk with Tamlin since he's a protector and he makes it his mission to protect her at all costs. Feyre is still dealing with trauma from UtM. But she is also bored. She wants to be useful, she wants a purpose. For majority of her life, she's the saviour of her family and that keeps slipping away the more she is with Tamlin. She keeps chasing Tamlin into dangers knowing there are Amarantha's cronies everywhere and still creatures on the prowl outside the mansion. The other thing to note is that Feyre never admits she's in love with Tamlin until she hears him say it thinking she's asleep(iirc). She also waits to see if the mating bond snaps before she decides if she could love him.

It's also the reason why Feyre feels alive every time she leaves Tamlin's mansion because of the bargain. She's still locked in a castle atop a mountain day and night with no one to talk to. It satiates her every urge since it's in an enemy territory. The foundation of Feyre's relationship with Rhysand is his eagerness to thrust her into every danger they come across. Also, sex and risking her life are Feyre's coping mechanisms which she gets in abundance with Rhysand. She low key wants to be in danger digging her way out and so she is open to her life with Rhysand. From the moment she arrives, she is constantly thrown into adventure after adventure in the name of saving lives. Even with him, Feyre doesn't realise or recognise her emotions. After Suriel slipped the truth to her, she decides she's in love with Rhysand. This could be a stretch but it's also the reason why she easily forgives Rhysand about keeping the complications of her pregnancy from her. For months, Feyre is safely sitting inside her house protected by a personal magical bubble. The pregnancy itself poses the danger she craves and it's easy to justify with whatever reason Rhysand feeds her since that's the norm by now.

I haven't read HOFAS yet. So I'm not entirely sure of her dynamic with Nyx. Still, Feyre didn't want a child for the sake of having a child but she needed an extension of Rhysand which to me is twisted in itself.

Feyre's friendships with the IC is circumstantial. They accepted her because of Rhysand. Morrigan knew she was his mate. Azriel and Cassian suspected it. Moreover they see her as someone who saved Rhysand and brought him back home to them. None of them love her who she is and so she never sees them for who they are. That severely hinders her ability to decide if they are worthy to be her friends and eventually accepts them because Rhysand regards them highly.

When it comes to her sisters, Feyre confuses responsibility with love. None of her actions, however manipulative and controlling, are not because she loves them but deep down she still lives by the promise she made to her mother. Hence keeping Elain close, meddling with her relationship with Lucien and Azriel, breaking Nesta down to never defy her or IC again. She slowly extends this to everyone else in her life, including Lucien after they leave Spring.

Feyre's obsession with life-threatening situations is very similar to the need for the abuse survivors to seek out more abuse to keep their life thrilling and events familiar, to have some semblance of control. Her rejection of Tamlin(ignoring the DV) and even Tarquin is for the very reason, they don't offer her that excitement. Feyre never becomes a better version of herself because she doesn't heal. She doesn't have that chance with Rhysand. Their entire relationship is a series of episodes of her coping mechanisms, sex and war and sex on loop. If Feyre ever had the chance to heal, she would have had better grasp of her emotions and developed the ability to love others without conditions.

[sugar-grigri]

Correction: Fake! CSM is the God Devil

WAIT WAIT WAIT and if, going back over this analysis, Fake!CSM or even the famous demon that Yuko and the others had contracted with wasn't an identity or memory demon

This entity would be the demon representing the fear of God? I CAN EXPLAIN! That would explain why this demon has the appearance of Chainsaw Man

As Angel explained, Chainsaw Man is the being who draws the line between death and birth for demons, the sound of chainsaws being what they hear when they are born or die.

As a result, Chainsaw Man had a natural superiority over the other demons, to the point of being feared as a divine power.

Whether it's Beam, who considered himself a follower of Chainsaw Man, or Makima, who was fascinated by him, it's an abnormal relationship between demons and CSM, tinged with veneration and fear.

Chainsaw Man is a divine figure who has also become enshrined among mortals, who see him as a means of fighting against their injustices.

You see where I'm going with this, the demon resulting from the fear of God has ended up taking on the appearance of the saviour and punisher projected by both demons and humans.

This would explain why this demon didn't lie when he called himself a demon of justice, just as it explains Barem's reaction, whom he sees as his saviour, just as it explains Fake!CSM's appearance, and finally, it explains the biblical references made by the impostor.

Which confirms my theory that Fake!CSM is NOT an enemy of Denji - quite the opposite, in fact. He wants the real Chainsaw Man to act, to be feared by demons and worshipped by humans, to once again reinforce the divine aspect of his image.

Denji is the source of Fake!CSM's power, which is why Fami has built a church around his figure to further reinforce this aspect, and why the impostor prefers to speak in Denji's name to make a more religious statement than the real CSM, who couldn't care less about such considerations.

If we were to get to know Denji as he really is, the very nature of a simple teenager would destroy his reputation for being invincible.

That's why Barem and Fami want Denji to join their cause anyway, because Chainsaw Man has to do exactly what they think will strengthen his reputation as a divine being.

If Nostradamus's apocalypse is fulfilled, people will not only fear divine wrath, they'll start praying to Chainsaw Man too!

Fake!CSM is Fami's champion for countering the apocalypse, and she's only interested in making it as powerful as possible.

This also explains why the public hunters want to paralyse Chainsaw Man and prevent him from showing his face, to avoid confirming this growing reputation and veneration. I repeat, when Yoshida said those words it wasn't to help Denji but to express the will of the hunters in any case. The fact that one of them said that it would be simpler if he were a weapon doesn't detract from this. It's simpler for CSM to be a unanimous being who's easy to hide and control than an unpredictable teenager.

The public hunters don't know exactly what's going on, as evidenced by their natural suspicion of Fami, whom they thought was behind this apocalypse, or by their response to the church's intentions in the last chapter. However, they do have their doubts about Fami, the knight of the apocalypse, whom they must know to be the founder of the church, and since the church relies on Chainsaw Man as the guardian of public order, it was safer for him to stop acting and not to go along with the church.

Chainsaw Man is the symbol of the demons' death, which erases their names and dictates their existence, so here's a theory on what will trigger the apocalypse...

It won't be caused by one demon in particular, but by a general revolt of demons such as has already taken place in the underworld to put an end to Chainsaw Man, to this supreme demon.

When the natural death of demons no longer exists, of course, this will mean the victory of demons over humans, as foretold by prophecy.

If this war breaks out, this explains why Fami Yoru believes that the demon of war is the one who will be able to counter this attack of demons.

Let's go back to this prophecy :

The simplest

Mars as god of war is none other than Yoru

But you know what's interesting is that according to all the thinkers analysing Nostradamus, what Nostradamus was actually predicting was not an apocalypse but an eclipse of the sun.

So this allows us to identify the other protagonists: the great King of Terror is none other than the moon that hides the sun, which will soon reappear.

The Great King of Angoulmois is none other than Denji

Overshadowed by Fake!CSM

Now you know why it only works before the sun comes out.

[gojicorps]

I've been trying to make this post for a while... This is my OC "master post"

This is Ltw, if you dig stories of super heroes with a bunch of teenager drama and high school tropes, this isn't the story for you! Sorry, but this gender is already really saturated so I tried to mix and match different tropes across the medias to create a weird love letter to Comics, Tokusatsu and anything that I really enjoy. It's a coming of age story about Hart Lee Valentine, who chose to left his father house to live with his uncle in a city called Saint Expedite, famous for crimes, urban legends and some of the worst pizza you can ever imagine, an absolute paradise for someone who really wants to have a fresh restart in life.

The cast consists mainly of this 5 characters.

Hart Lee Valentine: He's the son of the smartest man alive... But this is just a media claim, his father helped cure one of the weirdest illness know to mankind. But that doesn't matter at all, Valentine is already living under the shadow of his only parent alive (wink, wink) he starts as a calm and collected person but gradually starts loosing his manners, becoming an unhinged not so crazy science. He has an odd sense of justice but he's MOSTLY a pacifist who will try to talk before throwing hands around.

His favorite animals are moths and ducks, dor different reasons, in his opinion moths are our saviours from the monstrosities called butterflies. And ducks because he loves how versatile they are, he identifies with that Jack of all trades style.

Sadako Atsuko: She's the local emo weirdo girl of the class, nobody knows much about her and her brother Helis, they live together in a mansion in the middle of the city, she's always tired, not in the best mood and usually sassy. People don't know but she's actually heiress of The Atsuko family, one of Japan's most advance tech companies, she's also a city vigilant who uses fear to stop crime... Yeah she's basically my universe version of the Batman, her character is driven by masks and alter egos, she feels incapable of leading a normal life since she's shattered between personas, not knowing who's the real her, not knowing how to express her true self. Those burdens started to get louder to the point she started playing instruments, as a therapy, but this basically turned into another problem, her days are getting too short to accomplish all her desires.

Her favorite animal is the bat, the long eared ones! So yeah she's basically using a fursuit to fight crime.

Helis: Sadako's adoptive brother, he's basically the group heart, trying to make their maniacal schemes be a little more unhinged, he's the protector and the tallest one of them. Those responsabilities are instantly forgotten when he's near Valentine, something about him makes Helis adopt a more act first think later persona, but they usually have fun with that. He's the one that gives unsolicited advices with the bestest intentions he wants to know more about his origin and maybe who's his real family but that's more a monkey palm situation that doesn't goes well when he meets his father and sister. He usually helps Sadako in her schemes, usually to treat her wounds while calls her irresponsible, dummy or anything in between those lines (she doesn't even get a cute animal band-aid...) oh he has an abnormal strength and light based power's, but that doesn't matter much to him.

His favorite animals are giraffes, he likes that they have the strongest kick, and besides their pattern is beautiful.

Ettore Zanchini: the definition of overcompensate! He simply is a tryhard in absolutely everything, he has a rivalry with Helis, Sadako and sometimes even Valentine, everything he does is trying to be the best. He likes classy outfits and good manners, he's a true gentleman with a short temper and overachiever, even though he doesn't need to prove himself that much. He's the best athlete of the school and won several fencing medals, he usually fights using two rapiers for the simple reason that this is a really dumb idea, so it's a good exercise.

He really likes Wolves and Stags, specially because they're the princes of the forest, he definitely cried with Bambi but keeps it hidden.

Stefanny: Starting as a villainess, Stef is the last one to join the crew, she's really unused to a bunch of stuff the others enjoy but tries her best to get ahold of everything, she's not the warmest person and can be really misunderstood, she's gruff and goes direct to the point in most of her interactions, some have the audacity to call her impolite, BUT SHE'S NOT! She's just not used to have conversations longer than 45 seconds or with people that aren't psycho's, she and Sadako get along pretty well, perhaps because of all their battles and training, oh and even though she's all cool and collected... She has fire powers, yeah they are neat I guess.

Her favorite animal are salamanders, she loves those little moist dragons!

[nthspecialll]

Dutch Van Der Linde as the saviour and his early crime life.

Dutch Van Der Linde and his early life beyond the fact that his father died in the war and he ran away from his mother at the age of 15 is a mystery to us as players, however due to the fact he prefered a life of petty crime we assume that his mother was a terrible person, something that might not be true.

Unlike the majority of the gang Dutch does not have evidence of a terrible childhood, he was not orphaned, he was not fleeing from the government, he did not fear for his life and we cannot say that his mother was abusive, almost quite the contrary.

In Dutch's own words, he ran away because he and his mother "did not see eye to eye," and while this can indicate abuse the fact he follows up with "I was not always an obedient child" very much makes it seem like it was his own fault. He continues to talk about how they both loved one another in their own ways, meaning he ran away not because he had to but because he wanted to, especially as the reasons he was "not an obedient child" could very well be because he was young and rebellious.

What makes this even worse is that Dutch mentions having had a price on his head for fifteen years while he actually has been on the run for 29 as he is 44, this means for 14 years he committed crimes, did not have a price on his head, and had the choice to turn back to a "regular life." Now he might just have said 15 as a "about this many years but not the exact" but you don't get it wrong by 14 years.

Dutch mentions that he did not know that his mother was burried in Blackwater but was only told a few years later by an uncle. His mother died in 1881 (her grave can be found), he met Hosea in 1876, met Arthur in 1877 and had been on the run since 1870, meaning he was still in contact with his family at least in 1884, seven years after meeting Arthur.

Milton talks about Dutch being a Messiah, a savior for the people, and Dutch keeps saying "we" this and "we" that but the truth is he is nothing like them, Dutch chose his situation and had many chances to turn back but didn't, while the others in one way or another was forced into it. He also has many advantages, such as being in contact with his family, something which a character like Javier is forced not to and we only see one other character cannonically do, Pearson. Not only that but Dutch often reinforce his role as a boss by having his own tent, having expensive clothing, telling Molly that she doesn't need to work for the mere fact that she is his girl. He does not need to do this, everyone is already loyal to him, yet he does it for nothing more than to serve his own ego.

Now some would say he ran away to make a better world, but there is something wrong with that theory.

Dutch's favorite author is Evelyn Miller who is based on the real romantic/transcendentalist writer Henry David Thoreau. Romanticism is a philosophy that dislikes the wealthy and the industrialization and wants people to embrace a more "authentic" life, which is why Thoreau as a more wealthy man wanted to do an experiment for two years where he moved into a cabin. He wanted to, for the experience of it, live in the woods, such as Dutch did not run away from his possible rich life because he needed to but for the experience of it.

Dutch did not spoil his chance at a normal life for love, he didn't spoil it for "a better world," he didn't spoil it for necessity, he spoiled it for fun, for the experience.

Imagine being Javier, hearing the man who claimed to understand you, say that he still is in touch with his family while you don't know if your sister is even alive. Imagine being Arthur, hearing the man who claimed to understand you, say that he chose a life of crime as an experience while you were forced into it to survive and now hate yourself for it. Imagine being Charles, hearing the man who claimed to understand you, say he chose to hurt for fun while you wish you had another way.

Based on conversations I had with @werewolfarthurmorganenjoyer and @heavenlymorals.

[mixtpecas]

It's 2 am and I'm just thinking about how Cas and Eileen became such complimentary partners for Dean and Sam even when the show (slash Chuck) didn't let them have a happy ending.

Like, Sam wanted independence from his family and hunting. Not because he hated hunting necessarily, but because it represented everything his dad seemed to value over him and his opinions. And throughout the show he does make his own choices, but more often than not they end up with him getting possessed or some other kind of loss of autonomy. And with everyone he dates there seems to be that fear of losing control - not that he's controlling per say, but that he can't really let his guard down. Jess, Amy, Amelia, might know About him, but he doesn't seem to show much real vulnerability or deeper trust in them.

And Eileen gets that - she was written to mirror Sam, but it's not like she's his clone. While Sam seems more run down by everything that's happened to him by the time he meets her, Eileen still has that fire that leads her to do good on her own terms. And because she understands both the hunting and independence aspects of Sam's life, her and Sam can see each other as equals, instead of falling into that civilian/hunter or protector/protectee approach that relationships in the show usually lean towards. It's a real breath of fresh air for me, and feels a lot like how I'd imagine an ideal relationship for Sam - someone that isn't afraid to challenge him, but also encourages him to speak up for himself and value his own feelings.

Then with Dean, there's a lot of similarities to Sam (obviously, with their shared upbringing lol) but he can also be his counterpart. Sam wants trust placed in him and independence, Dean wants commitment and for someone to not leave him. But like Sam's relationships, Dean definitely falls right into the Protector role and what he thinks he should be doing, not what he actually needs or wants (like with Cassie and Lisa). And for him, I feel like it's less about not trusting them (Dean actually confides in people fairly often!) but more about his understandings about relationships and his own self. Dean has been treated (intentionally and unintentionally) as a blunt instrument, someone unchangeable, someone to look to for comfort, etc. even before Mary died ("It's okay Mom, I'll never leave you" comes to mind).

Cas reflects this in the extreme - any of his own feelings were lobotimized out of him and it was seen as impossible for angels to feel at all without falling. For him, he could see Dean as a smaller-scale mirror to what he was feeling. And Dean could see Cas as a more abstract, less intimidating way to see his own life. Like Eileen and Sam, Dean and Cas understand each other as soon as they meet each other. Cas tells Dean he has doubts! Dean prays to Cas after a lifetime of not believing in angels! Their similarities let them connect but their differences let them grow - Dean is so stubborn and full of feeling that Cas finally has the final push to rebel. Cas is the most powerful thing Dean's ever met when he saves him from Hell, so Dean feels safe to rely on him and trust someone to answer him if he asks (or prays). And again, their similarities are at the ground of it all, so they stay as partners and equals.

For Chuck (and the writers) this kind of healthier partnership dynamic goes against the kind of romance they love, that focuses on avoidance and saviour complexes. If Dean and Sam feel secure in their senses of self outside of one another, and are encouraged to keep that up, what happens to the Cycles of Family Trauma Show?? Plus, there's the added elements of Cas being a man and Eileen being deaf (resulting in Despair and the Blurry Wife). Sam and Dean both needed Eileen and Cas at certain points in their stories, whether that was to rescue them, motivate them, give them something to lose, etc. But even though plot development was the main intention for these relationships, they signalled something outside of the routine Cain and Abel story. Instead of just representing that kind of unattainable happy future, Eileen and Cas developed genuine relationships with the brothers that encouraged them to be more genuine people, and eventually led them to defeat God.

[thinemoonshine]

𓆰𝒶 𝒷𝓊𝒹 ♡𓆪

cha hyun su x female reader genre: romance, tiny fluff, angst, slowburn type: series (but can also be read as a oneshot) word count: 1,785

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ part 2 of series

Cha Hyun Su never really stands out in Green Home Apartment- both literally and figuratively. One, because he rarely comes out of his room, and the other is simply because he never bothers to socialize. So when he suddenly becomes this sort of 'saviour' for the residents when the mysterious monster outbreak started, naturally, he gathered attention- both good and bad.

Because he is in fact, abnormal. A paradox. He's an infected; a monster, the humans' common enemy and yet he's also a hero. And humans fear those that are unusual— even when they themselves have seen the goodness in his capabilities. Because as people tend to go, they prefer to see the cup as half empty, especially during these dire times.

So they use him— telling him to go on missions and retrieve items for themselves, ordering him here and there only to keep him isolated in the quarantine room right after. All this, just to make sure they're the ones who have the upper hand, they're the ones who have authority over this monster.

(y/n) is no different. She too sees the benefit of using Hyun Su to fulfill their needs and wants because after all, he's part-monster. If the other residents were to go instead, there'd be higher possibility they'd wind up killed or injured. But Hyun Su? He heals, dies less easily and has his monstrous quirks so what's the harm?

Is what (y/n) thinks as she stands in front of the isolation room with an energy bar in hand and a bottle of water filling just a quarter of it.

"...10 minutes. That's all you get," Eunhyuk says as he leans beside the door with arms crossed— looking down at (y/n) who nods at his words. His cryptic gaze flicker between her eyes before sighing and massaging his temple. "I'll be out here."

He unlocks the door and (y/n) slips right in, wanting to use the best she can get from the limited time but as soon as the door closes, her steps slow- surveying the dreary room that mimics the doleful dispositions of its members; which in this case is Hyun Su and the dour old man lying asleep on the lone couch at the far side of the room.

"Hyun Su," (y/n) starts and the said male lifts his head from his knees, shocked to see a healthy human inside this 'infected' room.

"(y/n)..." He mumbles and she feels a slight tug in her heart at the sound of his soft, seemingly withdrawn whisper. A strong urge to empty her already vacant stomach drowns her and she swallows. A sickening, bubbling feeling climbs up her throat as she stares down at his diffident form- round, doe eyes gazing up at her like a lost soul.

‘Guilty?’ Her own voice echoes but manages to pull a smile onto her face.

"I should've visited you earlier. I'm sorry," she apologizes sincerely and approaches- causing him to flinch before falling into a silent fluster. He scrambles left and right, not knowing whether he's allowed to be close to her. He's a threat, they all treat him like a virus and he can't help but admit that he might just be exactly that.

That is, until (y/n) captures his wrist before he can stand and he freezes entirely with widened eyes staring at her with horror.

"Don't—"

"Come. Let's have you eat something," (y/n) casually says and parks herself right beside him. "Here."

Hyun Su accepts the energy bar and drink on his open palms (graciously spread by (y/n)) while he stares at her curiously, almost scrutinizingly, and (y/n) would be lying if she says she isn't affected.

Those kind, gentle eyes and that unmistakably beautiful visage— she's melting. But she doesn't deserve to, he's much too good for selfish her.

"Thank you," he mumbles and that similar, painful strain occurs inside her again- but much more excruciating, disgusting, that her mien subconsciously twists and brows meet. He notices. "Are you okay?"

"What?" (y/n) croaks out and immediately purses her lips together. She can't. The guilt and loathe festering and rotting away her insides are catching up to her— devouring her whole being.

'What's the harm?? How could I ever think that? This... He's a human too,' she mourns in her head and is pulled out of it at the feeling of a warm sleeve pressing on her cheek. But the moment she looks at him, he retracts his hand and stumbles backward with his arm holding him upright on his seat- seemingly shocked at himself.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry... Sorry, I just, I— I won't... do it again," he hastily apologizes- no, pleads, for forgiveness almost, as he brings his eyes to the ground between them.

(y/n) furrows and touches her cheek- feeling the fresh tears before focusing back at his curled figure. "Why are you apologizing?"

He takes a moment to reply- taking his time staring at the cold floor before his fingers curl to a fist against it. "...You don't have to come here anymore."

"What?"

Is he... kicking her out? Forbidding her from coming here? It baffles her.

"You were forced to come here, weren't you? To... to accompany me or something, so that I'll keep doing the missions. But, you don't have to. I'll do whatever I'm told so you don't have to act nice for me. So please... don't be afraid," he requests politely- too politely for someone who thinks that he's being played with.

(y/n) shakes her head, puzzled, and sees him glancing at Eunhyuk from the corner of his eye- noticing him who's standing by the door. ‘Oh...’

"No, that's not it! I wanted to come here on my own accord. I'm not acting nice or—" 'Am I not?' Her thoughts intrude once more and her chest tightens- breaths shortening. "Listen, I actually here for my own selfish reasons. No one ordered me to and neither is it to get you on your good side or anything. Fact is, I felt guilty. "All this time, I did nothing but agree to let you go off on those dangerous missions on your own. I thought that it was better you than anybody else but that was selfish of me. None of us, even myself, we didn't even bother to stop and think how you must be feeling. How scared you may be. It's not like you chose this for yourself. We didn't even thank you for saving us. We never did because... we saw you as a tool, not as a person and I— Hyun Su, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry," (y/n)'s voice turns weaker and fainter towards the end— shattering and squeaking like a creaky door.

Maybe it's his overwhelming goodness that suffocated her when she entered the room, or the pure, earnest gaze he wears but at the moment, she felt like an entire villain. And it feel so, so revolting. It makes her wonder how Hyun Su must've felt when he discovered he was infected; to accept his fate that he is a monster.

A series of apology leaves her as her eyes brim with tears- although refusing to face him, she can feel his burning gaze on him.

Cha Hyun Su was, to be honest, conflicted. He's upset because of course, he's noticed how he's only being used by them and he also knows that he's being treated as less than human but at the same time, he's upset that he can't really do anything about it even if he wanted to because truth is, he doesn't have the heart to hurt them.

Yet despite that, he is also... glad. Glad that someone is being entirely honest with him. Relieved that there's someone he can potentially trust, someone he can confide in just like how she's confided in him. He's happy that... he too might just have someone to rely on.

Someone who's brave enough to approach him, hold him, sit right next to him, and pour their heart out to him who is a monster. And this... this means much more to him than anything.

"...Thank you," he mumbles and he's oh so grateful when she finally turns to look at him. At her confused hum, he says louder, "Thank you."

Her face of pure befuddlement that seems to scream, 'Are you crazy? I poured my heart out and admitted I saw you less as human and you say thank you???' almost makes him chuckle. Almost- so instead, he smiles.

It's enough to knock the air out of her- but in a nicer way now. Not like before how she felt squeezed and suffocated from the burdening benevolence that emanated from him and amplified her guilt- but a nice breathtaking moment that belatedly alerts her that she's been staring far too long.

"You have a nice smile," is all she says before clearing her throat and whipping her face away- a gesture Hyun Su is thankful for because a second later, she would've noticed the redness blooming on his cheeks and ears.

Before he can respond however, the door swings open and in comes a strict Eunhyuk who casts his firm stare on both of them before halting at (y/n).

"10 minutes is up," is all he says and (y/n) scrambles up, embarrassed, and hurries to Hyuk's side.

The two make their way to the door, with (y/n) walking in front and Hyun Su watches intently- feeling a tug in his heart.

"(y/n)," he suddenly calls and she stops to turn- once again feeling her insides churn and yet again, a much better, positive feeling than before when she sees his blinding eyesmile.

It's the first time she's seen it- his eyes shaped into crescents, sparkling like the stars in the night sky as his face glows despite the dust and dirt painting his skin in streaks of grey.

His pale, plump lips part to speak. "Come again... soon."

(y/n)'s heart skips a beat. He's inviting her to visit him. A personal request, a choice and that makes her feel somewhat special.

Her own smile graces her face. "I will, Hyun Su."

And the door shuts between them.

note: and that's a wrap on my first ff here on tumblr!! it's a lengthy slowburn because i wanted to show that wall between them first- i mean, they are strangers at first. but anyways, i'm thinking of making more parts to this sometime soon but until then, happy reading!! ઇ♡ଓ

copyright © 2024 thinemoonshine all rights reserved

[litnerdwrites]

Cassian thinks Prythian would blessed to have Feysand as High King and Queen yet the dude can’t even govern his own territory properly. If he can neglect and disregard two thirds territory and justify it without complaint, from the ic, then he has no business taking over more territories for any reason! Do you know what would happen if he did?

It’s safe to assume that Winter, Summer and Day would receive preferential treatment. Mostly due to Mor and Amren’s ties to Vivienne and Varian, but also because of how valuable Helion is with his libraries and skills. However, it's likely they'd be extremely weary of him at the same time, for those exact reasons. Maybe they'd even convince Nesta to dance with him as a form of manipulation?

Meanwhile, he’d probably be indifferent to dawn, though their aerial legions may be forced to join with the Illyrians so they’re be able to fight cohesively together. It would also mean they'd be able to keep an eye on the Peregryns that way, with the Illyrians keeping an eye on them to prevent revolt, if Rhysand has any fear of that.

It's been mentioned that Thesan only has a 'small legion' of them, and while small doesn't necessarily mean fewer than, given that Rhysand's armies seem to be made up of darkbringers and Illyrians, with no indications of anyone else. And after what Amarantha did to them, along with how pregnancy is really rare for fae, it's reasonable to assume that their numbers have thinned even more, meaning that the Illyrians likely outnumber them by a decent amount.

Meanwhile The Spring and Autumn courts will be the new Illyria and HC. Or they’d serve the same fundamental purpose at least. They'd be the ones who suffer and are stuck with the role of monsters just to promote Rhysand as a hero/saviour/victim/whatever else he needs to appear as that week. It's likely that Tamlin, Beron and Eris would be forced to give up their titles and authority, along with whatever wealth they have, if not imprisoned all together for whatever crimes the IC accuse them of. They likely wouldn't even acknowledge the abuse of Eris and his brothers, simply chalking it up to him being just as bad as Beron and straight up killing them.

Plus, there’s no telling how the land would react and what would happen to the symbol or station of High Lord. If they are no longer leaders, are the ambassadors to the high king? Will that become an inherited position? I mean, given the kind of power the HLs have, letting them remain private citizens is unwise, while giving them power as aristocracy makes Rhysand seem like somewhat of a figurehead, bringing whatever authority he claims into question. Meanwhile, having the jobs of ambassadors or advisors be inherited positions based on who the land choses to give power to as opposed to skill, and ability seems just as dangerous and foolish.

All it would do is prove that Rhysand is every bit, if not more, the monster that they made him out to be. There's no way they'd agree to it, so Rhysand would have to use force. It would mean a period of civil war, before any semblance of order or peace was regained.

They'd have to Force Nesta and Elain into another war, even if they don't end up wanting anything to do with one, given that it's through their, or even mostly Nesta's, powers that Rhysand is to take his supposed to take this throne.

Would Varian still be able to have feelings for Amren, knowing that she put this idea into Rhysand's head, encouraging him to do it? How would Vivian look at Mor and still consider her a friend after such a betrayal? Would Rhysand and Feyre even care about the innocents that died during that war? No. To all of the above, no.

Typing all of this out, makes it seem like Feysand becoming HK/Q would result in the Nc basically becoming Panem. They even have a mock Hunger Games through the blood right, while Velaris is basically The Capital. Anyone who's watched/read THG can tell you how that ended.

[periprose]

Angsty/Sad imagine idea for insomniac!peter parker

Reader dies in his arms or he visits her grave for the first time and he says something like "we weren't supposed to end like this" and its just sad....

😭 this ask made me sad but also excited to write! Thanks for requesting it.

/

"How is Spider-Man supposed to reach us in time?" The woman tied up next to you quivered in fear. "Those assholes having been taunting their guns for the last twenty minutes... oh God..."

You never worried if Peter would show up to rescue you in time. Ever since Fisk had gotten jailed, multiple up-and-coming criminals had taken this as their chance to shine.

Unfortunately for you, that meant being kidnapped or harassed, and often you'd get out of those situations thanks to the police- but being Spider-Man's girlfriend sometimes had it's privileges, namely that you could text him discreetly for help and he'd be on his way.

You always felt bad about it. You knew there were worse, harsher things happening out there. But Peter always insisted that you ask for help.

Usually it would end in a quick brawl, and you'd be safely thwipped into his arms, no harm done as you'd swing back to your apartment in safety.

This time, though? It's a lot more serious. These thugs want to "directly send a message to Spider-Man", and it's by poor luck that they've discovered your connection to him.

Every once in a while, they taunt you, but you're sure Peter will rescue you. You've sent him a text and he's read it- he must be frantically swinging right now.

"He's coming, don't worry." You try to comfort the woman beside you, but to no avail- she mutters that Spider-Man doesn't deserve a girlfriend if this is what happens to her, and that you need higher standards.

"This one's getting too confident, boss." One of the thugs kicks your side after hearing your remark, and you wince. "Being pretty won't save you now, bitch."

The woman next to you shrieks in fear- but she suddenly gasps in relief, and you see him, red-and-blue Spider-Man saviour swinging directly to the intersection you're currently kneeling at.

"I've got you, stay down!" Spider-Man shouts at you and the other hostages. He doesn't have a hint of his usual, tension-breaking humour, and it fills you with dread.

The pavement hurts your knees, but you stay down, not wanting to draw attention now as Spider-Man attacks and webs up your kidnappers. He's putting a lot more emphasis into his punches- it seems like they've really ruffled his feathers this time.

Of course, Peter's actually furious- he doesn't know how they figured out your connection to him, and he's desperate to take you away and hide you somewhere safe.

He wonders if he can convince you to move to New Jersey.

After a blur of punches, Peter sees that there's just one more guy to defeat- he swings forward, the guy shoots his gun, a flurry of bullets ricocheting everywhere, and Peter doesn't care about the sudden searing pain in his side- he takes him down.

He turns- hoping that you're still okay to go home now- but the woman next to you is crying hysterically, pointing to your slumped over body.

Oh no. Oh no. No, no, no.

Peter starts running, not with the confident poise of Spider-Man, but with the fear of a young man about to lose the one person he truly, truly cared about.

He scrambles over the pavement, where you're lying in a pool of your own blood, gunshot wounds scattered across your body- it just seems unnecessarily unfair, so needlessly cruel that the universe decided that you would take all those bullets. They should've hit him- he would've gladly taken every single shot.

"No, no. Please-" Peter squeezes your hand, as you look up at him, tears falling out of your eyes. Your face is ghostly pale, you're shuddering- but you still have enough time to say something.

"Keep... going..." You try, because you don't want Peter to blame himself for your own stupidity.

"No. Please, somebody help her!" Peter shouts, gritting his teeth, and there's nobody left here but him and you. Everyone else has ran off- and Peter's too shaken to call an ambulance at this moment. "I don't know what to do, don't- don't-"

You know what he means, and you're trying. You're using all your might to not die here, to let yourself be rescued and healed. But you can't let Peter stay agonized like this, not when he means so much to people, not when he protects so much more than just you, so you use your last reserve of energy to speak, even though he tries to shush you.

"New York... needs... you."

"I need you!" Peter yells, and you can tell he's crying under the mask. "It should've been me, I could've taken it- please don't-"

But Peter's luck always runs out, and it seems like the universe wants him to lose even more than he ever has. Your grip loosens from his hand, your eyes glaze over, and even though he sobs, clings on to you even more tightly- you just aren't there to hug him back this time.

/

It's been a month since Peter lost you so unceremoniously.

He stares at your gravestone in disbelief. None of this feels real- he was sure that if anyone in this world had to die from random criminals, it should've been him.

All the time, he feels like he's waiting for a phone call from you. He still swings by your apartment- your things have been removed, he can see that through the window.

Even though he saw your body being taken away into the ambulance, where you were immediately proclaimed dead, and he was at your funeral. It's like the reality of the situation is refusing to sink in his mind.

Even worse, he's taken out his rage on every petty criminal that comes his way now, as Spider-Man. J. Jonah Jameson loves it, calls him even more of a vengeance on the city, and that he should be behind bars.

Peter would be behind bars gladly if it meant you would've been safe. Maybe being Spider-Man was a mistake.

But he can't forget your last words. The last thing Peter would ever do is disappoint you, and he knows what you wanted. That he would keep protecting the city, that he would keep going despite it all.

Damn it, he hates you sometimes. Hates that you still know how to inspire hope in him, that you're such a significant presence in his heart that you're permanently etched there now. He hates how much he loves you, and how he's going to forever listen to you.

He just wishes you were here to see it through.

"We weren't supposed to end like this. It was supposed to be me and you, together, living a full life." He whispers. "It... it was supposed to be us, and our kids, our grandkids, hell even great grandkids, and then, only then, would I accept it. That we would be allowed to-"

He still can't bring himself to say die. So he lets himself swallow the agony, the sobs that always threaten to ebb out of his throat, and rests another bouquet of flowers at your grave.

[lupintrio]

"Your ability doesn't matter, that sorrow has value."

I adore specifically this page in bsd, probably one of my favourites, I just have to talk about it.

Ranpo's words were the understanding and kind of validation Yosano seeked in face of her trauma, her lack of direction in life and her belief in not only her inhumanity but her existence as nothing beyond a tool of war stemming from her ability, but also the vessel of pain.

"Angel of Death", if you will.

The suppressed emotions and anguish that came with her believing she "did not deserve" and Ranpo's understanding. Ranpo assuring her that she had the right to feel emotions and had the right to express herself, to exist beyond the confines of what she had came to believe her purpose had lied in after the war. The blood on her hands, the hatred that shifted her from an innocent child that wanted to help those in need, into a self loathing child stripped of her identity and humanity due to war.

The soldiers, that had gone from adoring her for being their savior, depending on her, into a burning hatred for their inability to die, to witness death up close so many times, to fight a losing war repeatedly without the ability to truly die.

That change made yosano realize that her ability was a curse, a curse that brought nothing but despair to the soldiers, despite how "living" had always been considered a blessing. Her original intention, born out of good will had become nothing but the carrier of pain for those whom she touched and healed.

Tachihara's brother's suicide was the final nail to the coffin. Although being the one who treated Yosano with kindness, giving her the hairclip but also the "angel", to ignite her will further by counting how "righteous" she was depending on the amount of times she had healed him, he ended up giving into the horrors.

"You are too right" he said,

leaving an etched platter, of Yosano's "righteousness". The human heart was faint, and he, who longed to go back to his own family, had given in, knowing the war was only a never ending torturer as long as Yosano was there. The suicide further stabilized Yosano's self loathing beliefs, "Angel of Death" he said, her ability both a blessing and a curse to those whom she had healed. the saviour as well as the grim reaper that both gave and took generously. It was her ability and precense that ripped away the value of living, her ability that continued to be a tormenter of the many soldiers who had come close to experiencing death but not being able to achieve so. Yosano had realized, and in the process had her "humanity" stripped away from her.

Even after the war, with Yosano being locked away, then released to witness the seperation of zskk. zskk had seperated, by on one hand, a mafia boss that would do anything to protect the city, no matter how immoral, to a past samurai that would create an organization in the day, while also harboring the peace of Yokohama collectively. Fukuzawa understood the toll war had taken on Yosano, hence called Mori heartless for wishing to take her back under his wing again, the two fought, and Yosano had watched silently.

Yet Ranpo saw her, and had wheeled her away from the battlefield.

"Your ability doesn't matter, your sorrow has value" was SUCH an important and chilling line while I read, and definitely to Yosano as well.

She is offered a place where she is able to freely express herself without the burden and fear of constantly abusing her ability and in the process "cheapening the value of life around her" despite her want to simply "save others", it was her kindness that was manipulated yet still remained in her heart, a kindness that tore her up from the insides, seeing her dream torn to shreds before her very own eyes, as those she saved became highly dependent on her, growing careless, or growing haunted by the touch of the Angel of Death. It was what caused her to believe she had no right to live, as she had cheapened the lives of others, as she was only a bringer of misfortune and pain, despite her young age. It was her powerful ability, and kindness that left her afraid and hurting to use her ability again. Yet, the words Ranpo told her, was a reassurance that there is a place where she could belong, where her kindness is a priority rather than her ability, a chance to "live" the life she couldn't, and break free from the fear that gnawed at her that built up progressively throughout the war. Allowing her a chance to start anew, the chance to express herself freely, to love and feel freely, to restore the empty hole within her, that longed believed she had no reason to live or exist as someone who was "inhumane". A newfound direction that shone light on her.

And it all leads back to one thing, healing. While BSD also shines light on the traumas of war, it is commendable for its realistic portrayal and writing of mental issues, Yosano proves to be wonderful portrayal of PTSD. The entirety of BSD, is also about healing and growth, to learn to accept your trauma as a part of yourself, to learn to live and grow from it and become a better version of yourself. See Atsushi as an example, an ability borne from the sole desperation of a child protecting himself from an environment, an ability that took form of a beast as a defensive mechanism, eventually learning to accept byakko instead of only staring down at it with hatred, remaining stuck in one place (see Dead Apple) and learning to come to peace with it.

See Akutagawa, who had slowly learnt to break free from his abusive past, to find a new meaning in life and protect those who he learnt to cherish, to rid himself of the coat as a means to leave himself vulnerable, if only to protect another. Rashoumon who originally was an ability that was all bite, offensive, despite its origin being the fabric that protects the human body from sight. All BSD characters fall under the cycle of the remnants and trauma of war, creating a far more extensive chain of self destruction and abuse. The abuse cycle that we speak of is not only limited to the ones we know now, but an entire web where its source came from the cruelty of war. See Fukuchi who had been so determined to avoid another war, for humanity to reach peace after he had witnessed the horrors of it himself and survived, which led to him creating a lie, to antagonize himself if only it meant to reach his goal, but falling prey to Dostoevsky's absurd lies, and losing not only his identity, but his ultimate goal in the process. A tragic tale, but realistic beliefs told in a fictional world.

One would have to shoulder the burden of their trauma, but to learn to cope with it was another story. I believe Yosano's butterfly hairclip holds similar symbolism, in terms of her trauma and how she came to terms with it.

The truth would be, she hadn't, and she hadn't learnt to truly forgive herself for her "sins" in the past, the blood on her hands that followed her forever, but to receive the hairclip on that fateful day again, was proof that Yosano wasn't to avoid it any longer, but rather carry it with her as a symbolism of grief, memories, her trauma, but also the fresh beginning where she would learn to grow out of her trauma from. A piece of memory from the soldier who had fallen but generously gifted her the hairclip during war.

It is to say that although some memories may haunt us for life, as trauma does at times, we were to carry it with us and move on. Yosano who didn't believe she earned the right to live for such, was told and relieved of the fact that it was her kindness that brought her pain, that someone, even like her, was deserving of another chance in life rather than throwing it away. As she grew, she still had thsi remnant of memory stuck to her, but she is trying, she is learning, and she is breathing, and isn't that more than enough?

A final note would be, I truly do adore Yosano, and many other characters in BSD, heavily underrated despite their well written characters. Although BSD is a fictional series, I can't help but appreciate how it's not afraid to touch on more realistic and darker topics, while mixing it with a hint of lighthearted humor and literary references inbetween, a fine masterpiece.

Thank you for reading thus far.

[tyran-the-tyranical]

I’m currently writing a fic and writing for Raphael is a little infuriating if I’m being honest.

Mostly because he has such a way about him, and unlike the other characters where there’s some room for deviation, he’s quite rigid in his mannerisms. So I’ve literally been scraping through his dialogue and ‘analysing’ his behaviour, and this is what I’ve ‘boggled’ it down to.

EDIT: This is actually really long, and in fact not boggled down at all, Keep Reading at your own peril...

(OK, So I've completely reorganized this post to be more readable) 

Raphael is a complex and multifaceted character, but here are some main character traits of his that I'll delve more into as we go on;  

-Manipulative and Deceptive 

-Arrogant and Condescending 

-Sadistic and Enjoys Suffering 

-Cunning and Strategic 

-Relishes Power and Control 

-Patient and Calculative 

-Dark Humor  

-Alluring and Subtly Flirtatious  

-Dual Nature and Contradictory  

-Hedonistic and Indulgent tendencies

-Ambition

Though Raphael wants to paint himself as an honest person, that still doesn’t mean he isn't Manipulative with us, he uses many tactics to gain our trust, from crafting this honest and helpful persona to literally threatening us and building pressure to make a deal to escape ceremorphosis. 

"I'm here to help, not harm” 

"I am master here. A prince of bargains cloaked like scarlet satin. All that hidden under sublimely obvious truths that cannot be discounted." (From Chapter 3 of his Diaries) 

“Come now, why playing hard to get when you're in deep over your tadpole head all those pretty little symptoms sundering skin dissolving guts they haven't manifested yet have they?" 

"I'll be around watching you squirm like a tadpole through a nice juicy brain" 

As we progress his threats go from subtle to outright fear-mongering, but this also goes into somewhat of his dual nature as when he moves past his honest persona to just pressuring you, he still wants to paint himself as some sort of Saviour. Of course, this is also just another tactic of his, painting himself as a friend or helper, as though he doesn't have his own ulterior motives, which sure he admits outright but in the ending where you do give him the crown he drops this façade and tells you he's planning on taking over more than the hells and will eventually come for you next. I also think this bleeds into his own needs to be adored, you can see this further in his little plaques he has around his house. 

"Am I a friend? Potentially, an adversary? Conceivably, but a savior? that's for certain. Try to cure yourself. Shop around - beg, borrow, and steal. Exhaust every possibility until none are left.  And when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair that's when you'll come knocking on my door. Take all the time you need but make up your mind before you're counting down with tentacles"  

Additionally, this all just feeds into his performative nature - to the extent that he sometimes borders on narrator territory. He has his little monologues as he talks about us as though we’re characters in a story and he’s just recounting our actions to some unseen audience.  

[His speech before the Yurgir encounter is a good example of this]

 

"Through the dark, she went creeping and awoke what was sleeping" 

"The Shadows grow long and the hour is late" - also wherever this quote is from works well too 

There are even more subtle moments where he's still being performative, even when he's not physically present, which goes into his desire and constant longing to be seen as something akin to a True or Full Devil (or archdevil). Since he is a cambion he is restricted a lot by his mortal half. He is held back by his human needs like sleep and presumably food too. I think he tries to cover for this through excess, as if you go to the HoH in Act 3, you can see the food on the table is just filled to the brim of just rotten food, basically all of it wasted. Also, there are loads of scattered areas that have fruit or wine throughout his house. I believe he does this on purpose to try to come across as though food is nothing but a pleasurable activity he indulges in now and again rather than a necessity and he doesn't care if he wastes it (Also just saying he's rich, let them eat cake, L + Ratio). 

However his façade isn't perfect since he is still fallible, and he can fail/die. We can see this because, at every opportunity he possibly can, he attempts to convey this front of being omnipotent and powerful - as close as he can to an archdevil. To be fair, he manages to do this pretty really well, At times he can even come across as this truly unbeatable force, that we can’t ever truly defeat. This is exemplified by the fact that, even if we kill him, if we look in his logbook of previous visitors, it hints at him trying to find a way to cheat death by transferring his soul into a clone or something adjacent. 

Now whether he ever managed to accomplish this by the time we attack him is uncertain, (though there is a non-canon / cut content line where he begs for his father's help as we fight him, kinda of insinuating he never fully realized his backup plan in time and he’s actually afraid he’ll die, but that’s also not in the game so who can say for sure) 

“I cannot lose to you. Not here. Not in my home. I cannot die! Mephistopheles, hear your son! I am at your mercy - save me!” - NOT CANON BTW, but omg do I love this line 

Another slight hint that Raphael might not be as indestructible as he'd like us to believe is when he is playing lance board with Mol. 

"My, the double counter Gambit. Vicious. Exactly what I would have done" 

Now for all intents and purposes Raphael does not need to win against Mol, that wasn't the purpose of their game, either way he already had his eyes set on her to make a deal anyway. Yet it demonstrates that whether you cheat or actually manage to outwit him, he can be beaten, since he can't hide behind a persona when playing (Mostly). 

Furthermore, Raphael is like an English teacher, he loves his little similes and metaphors, and just talking in a verbose manner, and it’s not just word vomit, no no no, he makes it sound interesting, he is performing for us after all. For me personally tho, it’s difficult to replicate, unlike other characters or companions where you can deviate their dialogue, like hearing Astarion say ‘fuck you’ to Cazador, I don’t think you could get away with that for Raphael.  

"The mouse smiled brightly it outfoxed, then down came the claw and that love was that"  

"Perfect, one more rhyme for Old Time's sake; The master was slain within his own house, they dined on him both, the cat and the mouse."  

"Like a mosquito nibbling at a dragon, be gone"  

I also think it's so interesting that the man who does nothing but spout rhymes and poetry will say this if you call his poetry out for being dirt; 

"I admit it isn't my primary interest not, by any stretch" 

Excuse me, sir?  I do think he genuinely likes poetry/writing in general, he supposedly even wrote a play before sooo, also I just think that all these contradictory things he says are on purpose, he's trying to be mysterious to some extent, and he doesn't want you to be able to gauge or understand him, he just wants you to believe in his persona he's crafted for you and that's all. Though like I've said before, his mask can slip off, especially in private or when he's enraged. An example is when he's referring to his employees who have failed him.  

"[A record of various associates of Raphael's, listing their duties, and their respective performance.] 

Korrilla Hearthflame - field work - so far I've barely 

had to singe the tips of her fingers. This one shows promise. 

Archivist - naughty boy, supposed to be looking after the collection, 

but has a tendency to drift. May have to start breaking his neck to 

give his spine a chance to recover. 

Nubaldin - little shit let Gortash get away. Not letting 

him near the prisons ever again. Chamber of Egress will 

do fine until I find a replacement for him." 

Moreover, he’s also very condescending/patronizing. (I think even in one of his dialogues, the devs noted he should even come across that way). I think that’s just a part of his little superiority complex, he’s the chess player and we’re all just his little pawns (that is until we kill him ourselves, it almost makes me think that Tav/Durge is actually the other player in the game and to some extent Raphael knows this and tries to play accordingly). He constantly wants to portray this cool and confident personality, that he’s accounted for every possible outcome (and in a lot of ways he has) and that even if he doesn’t get what he wants, it doesn’t faze him, and in fact, he’ll try to make it seem like either way it benefits him, and sure in some ways it might, but I do believe he’s just saying that to mask his failure to achieve his goal. 

"I should snuff you out and make coin of your soul, but it will be more amusing to let you see the consequences of your actions. Do you really think that the crown is safer in the hands of a goddess than in the claws of a devil?" (Look, I don't like Mystra, but do I think the crown is safer with her? UH yea)  

"Such an eager little pup."  

"You really do think highly of yourself. My sights are set on something much more valuable than your soul, succulent though it would be."  

He's Definitely pissed at us for being a little shithead and giving the crown to Mystra (even tho in the game if you complete Gale's quests you rlly have no choice lol) But he still tries to play it off as this will be terrible for you but great for him, since if shit hits the fan, he's just gonna get more souls - Though I'm sure this is him just trying to save face, or at least to some extent. We can see him actually lose his composure if we ascend Gale. 

"Do not toy with me, Wizard!" - R 

"I thought you liked playing games? You can have the crown Raphael, but you'll need to come and collect it from my realm" - G 

"You can't do this!" - R 

"I hit him where he's most vulnerable, pricked his pride, and sent him back to the hells to lick his wounds. He'll be back, the question is will he find us side by side?" - G 

This is really fun to see since even Gale knows Raphael has no power over him and can just mess with him, and initially, Raphael tries to gain control by saying like 'Oh no, I'm not going to take the crown Gale's going to give me it, like we agreed' and then when Gale fucks with him and it utterly infuriates him because there's not much else he can do really since Gale, though he might not be as powerful as Mystra, is definitely more powerful than Raphael. I also think it's very interesting that, even though we've basically gone against Raphael and screwed him over, he doesn't plan on taking it out on us, and I know he says he wants us to see the consequences of our actions but I think there's a different reason to why he doesn't take action against us. I think he's genuinely afraid of us, let me explain. He was clearly already afraid of our potential before any of the endings, shown in his dream he wrote about in his diary, and when we manage to survive everything that the game throw at us and defeat the nether brain, we've basically become undefeatable (Not really but you get what I mean) The only time he even suggests he'll take one of our souls is if Gale explodes while trying to ascend and well, there's not going to be much resistance since he's already blown up. 

"There was one among them who spoke for the rest. They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me. 

In waking, my courage has firmed. I progress my plans for

the tadpoled even now. 

I am Raphael. I am not easily bested." 

Raphael is not only fueled by his ambition but his fear (I'll talk more about that later too) and so he acts accordingly, he plans and schemes for hundreds of years trying to account for every possibility, and at times he can even come across as a total control freak lol. He has Korilla literally stalk us throughout the game, he also knows personal facts about our companions (he’s done his homework), and he’s literally planned and orchestrated events in the plot to help lean towards us giving him the crown in the end (it’s implied he helped vlaakith chain Orpheus or idk some other devil did with infernal chains, and he’s the one who helps wipe Ketherics lil army to just one justiciar) he’s had a lot of time to plan and plan he has. He’s constantly aware of your movements since he picks very specific points to appear to you.  

"[Laughter] The good thing is though there's only one little voice you really should listen to, Mine" - Total control freak behavior  

"you'll be back, it's something of great importance to your master is it a love letter a warning or a deed of ownership I can give you all the Gory details"  

"Carved into that Ivory skin of yours is one part of an infernal contract between the archdevil Mephistopheles and your former master" 

"Karlach, why does that name ring a bell? hmm, perhaps I read it in a book somewhere." 

An interesting thing to note is that I think his controlling and performative tactics are the ultimate reason to why he inevitably fails (If you decide to kill him I mean) Since he's spent so much time controlling the narrative literally and figuratively, he's literally altered events leading up to our arrival so that we can give him what he wants and he even talks about us as if we are just a character in his story he's created, he's been doing this so long he truly believes he can control the narrative, that he's predicted every outcome and he really doesn't think we'd go against that we could go against him. He's been so out of the narrative himself, an observer who might nudge things to go his way now and then but never be in the action himself that he truly believed he was untouchable, that he could just float above it all like he did with Karsus’s folly happened. 

Now onto an aspect of Raphael I find very interesting – His relationship's with those around him. As I said before he’s a total control freak, and that’s clearly fueled (if not caused) by his narcissism and we can see that even outside of our protags. Look at Haarlep for instance, (there’s so much to dissect with these two) but Raphael strictly has Haarlep made to look like himself, and is the only form he’ll sleep with. There isn’t just one answer to why he’d do that, firstly, it just boils down to him being a narcissist sure, but on the other hand a point can be made that he’s doing it strategically. 

Haarlep was sent to distract him, and presumably to spy and report back as well (Hypothetically, it's not confirmed) and presumably, Raphael is clever enough to realize that. So why would he reveal anything about himself in such a vulnerable way, so why not just make the incubus be in one form and one form only? It also serves as a lil bit of a punishment I suppose, since Haarlep can be 1000 different people but is forced to stay as one. There’s also another angle to this, that narcissists generally find intimacy difficult, and being vulnerable with other people. So why be vulnerable when you can stick to the devil you know? 

Party member: How did you end up here? 

Haarlep: Sent by Mephistopheles... distract naughty son. 

He knows himself better than anyone, so why would he bother with anyone else? It’s a bit of a defense mechanism, he’s not willing to be vulnerable or let his guard down (and to be fair, for good reason) so it’d be better for him to stick to what he knows, what he’s comfortable with. I’m just going to throw this out here but he comes across as a total hedgehog dilemma sorta of guy, gives off real Shinji Ikari vibes tbh. (NOT REALLY, He's more Gman than anything but just without the charisma 💅) 

Party member: Did you ever turn into forms besides Raphael's? 

Haarlep: Raphael... loves... only... Raphael. 

Now, this is just supposed to be a Raphael analysis but I find it impossible not to mention Haarlep and their motivations as well, since they are arguably the closest person (Literally) to Raphael. Haarlep comes across as a complete gossip type since they seem to just love to air out Raphael's little secrets, they even say how Raphael can Deny them nothing so either Raphael does trust them to some extent to make them his confidant or well, Haarlep just Wittles it out of him during their sessions. Either way, they hold some closeness to Raphael, yet I find it revealing that they immediately will expose him and actually help you (for a price ofc) and intentionally try to help you kill Raphael. Now whether they believed we could actually kill him or not is up for debate, but after you give them your form they do say that they'll enjoy misusing you and they do tell you what will happen when they use your form, so if they believed you were going to die why bother? 

Haarlep doesn't seem to be the only one as in their letter to you in the epilogue it's revealed that even the devils in Mephistopheles's court seemed to hate Raphael. 

"Since the timely end of Raphael's reign, I've gone back to Mephistopheles' Palace in Cania. Many of his Father's court are celebrating the demise of my little brat - behind closed doors. And I'm making a fortune selling evenings in his form now there is no contract binding me to secrecy. Rather tasteless to desire a dead man like that, even amongst devilkind, isn't it?" 

Haarlep even calls Raphael their little brat, though perhaps it was out of endearment as even Haarlep remarks how low it is to desire a dead man when they use Raphael's form. This could possibly show some sort of remorse towards Raphael's death, but it's pretty unclear, yet that's also to be expected since Haarlep is a full devil and they even state they're a crueler master than Raphael so perhaps that was true as well. It genuinely seems that no one actually cares for Raphael, besides perhaps Korilla, and I mean that's fair in all honestly, considering how he treats most of his employees (Hope too) but it's also funny that the people he wants to impress or become most, the devils, also hate him or want to well.. Have some fun times with his form after he's already dead.  I also think it's interesting that Haarlep refers to Raphael as a dead man rather than a devil, they don't even say 'amongst his own kind', It's interesting because Raphael himself is so adamant on calling himself a Devil rather than cambion or whatever (tbf he's not the only one, Mizora does the same or at least out characters don't care to make the distinction) Yet Haarlep doesn't care to make that distinction. Now, of course, man doesn't necessarily mean a mortal man or whatever, but it's still intriguing to note.

An interesting thing to note about Devil society is that, unlike Demons who usually just outcast or kill their cambions, Devils at least allow Cambions to intergrade into their Hierarchy, but at the same time it's a system that wasn't built for them to succeed in since cambions can't physically be promoted, they aren't guaranteed anything form their work, so everything they have, they've had to work hard for. Unlike those around him, Raphael has had to work extra for his position (though I'm sure his title of Son of Mephistopheles did help somewhat) he seems to have it quite good, and tbh I even initially thought he was his own free agent, and didn’t even have to serve under Zariel (but he does) he just has it really good, or at least better than most cambions from what it seems. At the same time, I find it intriguing that he sparsely even mentions who he is in relation to his father. Through subtle hints throughout that game, it's clear that Raphael actually probably hates his father or is perhaps extremely jealous of him, since at the same time he mirrors him in some aspects.  

I think the Dungeoncast said it best when examining the devil's mindset that I also think apply to Raphael quite well too;

"Their dogma essentially revolves around seeking power over others, always adhering to an eye-for-an-eye principle. They exploit any kindness shown to them and show no compassion for the weak, exhibiting traits of a sociopath. Winning at any cost is their mantra, often cloaked in the guise of promoting personal excellence and independence. When they harm others, they rationalize it as providing motivation to succeed."

Even though his society basically looks down on him, whether he's successful or not, Raphael still believes in their mindset, mostly since that's probably how he's survived and thrived in the Hells. This mantra that the devils have has warped who he is as a person entirely and also his ambitions, he doesn't want any other than control, he sees no point in forming meaningful relationships or other interests, and he only sees domination and power as his goal since that's all his society has told him is important.

Another thing I’ve read about cambions is their sense of entitlement, especially over mortals, and well Raphael certainly fits the bill. Which might contribute to why he wants what he wants. I mean, why does Raphael want to take over the hells? To end the blood war? Sure, almost all devils want to rise the ranks but Raphael’s goals are a lot more lofty than that, and why is that? Is it solely his ego? To be seen as something kin to a god-like Asmodeus, or is it to best and humiliate his father? Perhaps both, or perhaps neither, it’s somewhat unclear, but perhaps he just feels entitled to something greater or maybe he wants out of the rat race that is the Devil's Hierarchy.  

"It's the Fatal flaw of mortal kind take away their free will and they call you a tyrant, allow them to indulge it and they become tyrants" 

 

A final point is since he’s a narcissist, he’s obsessed with his image, yea I know, very obvious. And it’s been mentioned a few times that this is probably why he and Haarlep look so different, it’s either insecurity or wanting to come across as something more mature, why he’d look older than Haarlep when they should be an exact copy. It’s the whole reason he’s been performing, curating this image to us, one that he barely even allows himself to break at home unless he’s enraged. If you look at it for what it is, it’s just insecurity and almost desperation. A desperate desire to be seen as something greater, something akin to his father (daddy issues are making their appearance) and it honestly comes across as erratic, and extreme. 

 

He’s so obsessed with his image that perhaps when Haarlep said they’re a perfect copy of Raphael they didn’t mean as an exact copy, they meant they’re are literally a perfect version of Raphael, a better version (most likely a result of insecurities of how he's perceived). Who can say for sure what the reason is why they look so different if they’re supposed to be mirrors of each other. His whole obsession with is image really matches his father, since Mephistopheles is known to change his appearance and curates it for mortals as well (It's why he's confused with Asmodeus a lot since he just goes for a basic generic devil look). 

One more thing, considering all the characters we meet throughout the game, Raphael is or is one of the oldest characters in-game, seeing as he's possibly 1000+ years old. Considering this, it makes sense that on top of him being a devil anyway, he finds himself detached from mortals as well as his own mortal half. Though he is quite proactive in his contract seeking seeing as he not only seeks us out but characters like Mol and Lyrthindor (Tho that was more towards orchestrating his own goals) Otherwise he can just sit up in his Ivory tower devoid of mortal's strive, I mean he even says multiple times that his house is a safe haven for the tired/sick/restless/etc. On top of him already trying to detach himself from his mortal half, he also has the benefit of being so old that he probably has already become numb to it, to mortal thoughts and feelings. He wouldn't be able to emphasize or understand it (tho him being a devil wouldn't have helped either) all he would understand is how to use their suffering to his own benefit. Any possibility for humanity within Raphael is either so faint it's practically not there or there is none left entirely.  

"Never have I been so attracted to mortals as I am to those infested by the tadpole." 

He even says this himself. Mortals have never had any impact on him, physically or emotionally. Yet in saying that, they've never really been given the chance to. The closest a mortal besides us the player to have ever gotten 'close' to Raphael or have impacted him is Hope. Raphael is not only a complex character but he has so many complex relationships with the few people he lets around him. As I said before Raphael is completely blinded to humanity, he's definitely a person who believes the ends justify the means and that has never been more evident than in what he does with Hope. He doesn't care what It takes just as long as it gets him what he wants, that's why he helps orchestrate the plot to lean in his favor, why he basically tricks Yurgir, and why he has no problem torturing Hope even though she's basically no one to him, she isn't even a debtor.  

Though Raphael is almost completely removed from being anything close to a human being, even after all this time, whether he likes it or not, he still does have some human traits. His interests for one help humanize him (Which tbh he is probably aware of and uses to his advantage) Sure he likes poetry and literature, but he's also just obsessed with everything surrounding Karsus and Hope (or at least the concept) He even names his house The House of Hope and whether he renamed it that after Hope or whether that was it's original name isn't clear but either way he really likes the idea of hope in hell. You can see this throughout his house on the little plaques he has scattered throughout, he definitely wants to be people's last hope or perhaps just hope in general, it would make sense as well since he wants to literally break hope and bend her under his will. 

"Karsus's folly the Bard and Scholars call it. I call it hope, the hope of creating a better world, and The Perils of unchecked hubris"  

(Karsus and Hope are basically his only two special interests that he starts to literally combine them) 

Another very human trait of Raphael’s is that Raphael has a fear of failure. He even has dreams about us destroying everything he's worked for and killing him.  

"There was one among them who spoke for the rest. They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me. 

In waking, my courage has firmed. I progress my plans for the tadpoled even now. 

I am Raphael. I am not easily bested." 

Even though he reassures himself that he is Raphael and cannot be easily bested it's clear he's still very desperate. The only variable in his plan that he can't truly control is Us and he definitely knows this. Even other characters like Gale can tell how desperate he is. His facade of Invincibility is one of the tactics he uses against us to keep us in check against him. To be honest, all these things lend to humanizing him far greater than any poetry or quote he could ever spout because it shows his vulnerability, it shows he's not as invincible as he'd like us to believe, that he does have weaknesses and can in fact fail. A very mortal trait to have in all fairness. 

Also on another quick note, he totally has a special interest (obsession) in Karsus, like him seeing Karsus accidentally kill thousands of people in the netherese cities became a core memory for him, one that he’s never let go, even now.  

"The archdevil Mephistopheles snatched up the crown and squirreled it away in one of his vaults. He is not more than a frigid archivist"  

"I want the crown that dominates the Elder brain and then we all Gather in the House of Hope me dressed in my finest silks, you skinless, hanging from a hook to watch as your world dies"  

"you would have been Heroes if you only dealt fairly with me, instead you're not so different to doomed Karsus, overreaching your limits and burning your world to Ash"  

"The screams oh the screams hundreds of thousands of people watching in horror as the ground came up to meet them" 

His ambitions seem to be fueled a lot by his narcissism and this belief that he can achieve all he's set out for and actually do a good job in implementing order, etc. Whether this is a founded belief or not is debatable, since we don't really know what he achieves past supposedly Avernus. 

"Though with the crown, I would impose perfect order, Unity, efficiency, control, my kingdom would control its borders and stay within them" (Sure pal) 

OK, onto the kicker here; Raphael is a very alluring character, he can even come across as flirtatious at times (Also through his body language and I obvs can't demonstrate that here but u get it) Throughout the game he's saying how he'll wine and dine us if we give him what he wants, yet In the ending where we actually give him the crown, I think it's so telling that after all his promises of dining with him and getting to see him again if we deliver it, he literally doesn't follow through at all (There's a debate for this since we don't know if he might've once his plans were done) and this just proves what we were to him; that we were in fact just pawns to him. Even if he does invite us to dine with him, it'll most likely be with a purpose, that he wants something from us or for us to do something for him because otherwise he's gotten all we wanted from us, the facade has been lifted and he doesn't need to try charm or threaten us, he's effectively done with us (literally, since it is an ending). It's all just another aspect of his manipulation and Persona he uses against us (And I mean, It worked) We're all just a means to an end for him. 

ALSO, A little side thing I should note is the silly lil Dark humor Raphael has. Raphael, being a devil and all, definitely has a dark humor. You can defo gather that from his dialogue but also the way he comes up with creative punishments for his debtors. Now some of it is just basic evil shit like the guy who does the Self-flagellation stuff and the one who's forced to act like a dog, but some of it is more than that, like the guy who worships his chamber pot which just so happens to be under the statue of Mephistopheles or the debtor who's forced to dance (which I think is a reference to The Red Shoes story/movie where the character is literally forced to keep dancing) or the chick who just voyeuristically watches what goes down in the boudoir, like yea it's horrible but sometimes it just cartoonishly ridiculous and you can't help but find it somewhat amusing. 

"Hope [Laughter] such a tease" like when he says this, unbeknownst to us, he's referring to the real-life Hope, more of an inside joke to himself really. 

On top of all that - this specific paragraph isn't really poignant to Raphael's character necessarily, it's more of a personal observation but - I think if there were to ever be a romance with Raphael the best option is to not give him the crown (tho I do kinda wanna see him with his lil crown being the prince of hell). It's similar to Gortash, in that if you want to be his equal you shouldn't grovel and just give him the netherese shards, you need to challenge him and show your mettle basically. Now I'm not saying Raphael would be pleased with this, but if you wanted to be an equal, this is the best route, otherwise, there's always going to be that power imbalance like with ascended Astarion. (AKA, kill him, Do It) 

My final point that I wanna make is, that all the characters in Bg3 are designed with a fatal disbelief. Y'know Gale believes if he becomes a god he can prove himself to Mystra, Lae'zeel believes that  Vlaakith is righteous and will allow her to ascend, Shadowheart believes she can find herself/ her purpose in Shar, and Astarion believes he'll finally be safe if he becomes the vampire ascendant, yet we that these believes are all unfounded and end up being untrue wif they achieve them, and the same goes for Raphael. Now, if Raphael achieves his goal of getting the crown, he most likely will still end up not getting what he wants, for two reasons; Asmodeus literally cannot be defeated - Let me explain; So there are a few origins for Asmodeus and to most popularized one (and the one I prefer) is the one where he and some of the other archdevils were actually previously angels that got corrupted while fighting demons. 

Yet, in earlier editions, it's stated that all of that is just speculation and mythos surrounding Asmodeus and his real origin is that he is literally a cosmic force that was there at the beginning of time. OK. Now personally I don't care for this origin but either way, whichever one you believe I think my next point still stands the same. Whether Asmodeus is just a being that has achieved something as close to godhood as he can or a literal cosmic force of lawful evil, Raphael probably would still be unable to defeat him even with the Crown and scepter and any other of Karsus's little items, he most likely if anything could only get to the eighth layer. Now in saying this, this is still not his disbelief, because his personal belief is also one that all devils share, which is a complete lie, that being the entire hierarchy they abide by. Every devil abides by this meritocracy hierarchy, and the belief that if they become more powerful, and ascend - that they can reach Asmodeus status, but this is a complete an utter lie. Asmodeus keeps this facade that he could be defeated, but in truth, he's kinda way too powerful for any of the devils in hell, and he knows this and uses it as a tactic to keep them in his control.  

Now Raphael to some extent knows that he has to basically cheat to be even able to ascend, since he's a cambion and the hells system wasn't exactly designed for him to be promoted. Yet even if he manages to conquer every layer up to Cania, he's still going to lose since he's basically destroying the hierarchy and therefore he won't have control over the devils beneath him. Now the crown can be used to literally dominate people but that's not what Raphael necessarily wants - He wants to be adored and willingly followed, and of course, he'll use the crown when he has to, but to wholly subjugate everyone in hell to mindlessly obey doesn't seem to be his goal. There are more practical reasons as well why there are certain devils that have control over the layers, and Raphael, no matter what power he can possess, is still just one individual, and inevitably it seems as though there would be a lot of chaos rather the perfect order he believes he can achieve. 

I know that the crown can basically make you a god, and if Asmodeus has powers akin to a god and Raphael can theoretically do the same, then why can't he just defeat Asmodeus? well, it goes into Raphael's fatal flaw, his arrogance. If we look at Gale, for example, he made himself a literal god and still wasn't powerful enough to defeat Mystra, and yes, Raphael 'Is no mortal' but this is what I mean, he believes is above Karsus and Gale, that he'll succeed where they failed but that's just not the case. Like I've said before, Raphael desperately wants to be seen as more, his ego won't let him accept anything less but that still doesn't change the fact that he is fallible, and we don't have to look any further than when we managed to defeat him. Now in saying all this, this is all theoretical and kind of bleeds more into an opinion, since we don't know what plays out after he gets Avernus, perhaps the other archdevils managed to kill him before he achieved anything, or perhaps he really did manage to conquer Baator and the other realms, Who knows. (I might be cooked for saying this, especially since I do wanna see him be a lil prince of hell, but arguably giving him the crown, besides being our bad ending, is also his bad ending - No further explanation) 

Like I know I said, this is what I’ve boggled it down to and well, it’s not very boggled, but that’s what I mean! There’s so much going on with this little guy, it’s almost hard to keep up with, you gotta write him as suave and mysterious but also somewhat threatening and intimidating, he has to be articulate and persuasive as well as theatrical, while also keeping in mind his manipulative and narcissistic/egotistical tendencies, which doesn’t come easy to write for. 

This isn’t a slight by any means either, he’s a complicated character and that’s why I like him, but my sorry ass struggles to replicate it 🥲 though I hope this post will be a good reference to circle back to when writing for him. 

[pfhwrittes]

my brain is zigzagging around all over the place tonight so have half a ramble, half a fic that came from the DMs with @kaadaaan based loosely on my arsonist!soap thoughts.

soapgaz twisted firefighter thoughts below the cut!

tw/cw: arson, dark fic, masturbating, handjobs, throat fucking, ambiguous ending, implied major character death, angst.

pairing: john "soap" mactavish x kyle "gaz" garrick, implied background kyle "gaz" garrick x reader.

word count: 730ish

johnny loves setting fires. the rush of watching the flames lick up the walls and the thrill of going uncaught sends sparks behind his closed eyelids as he fucks his fist in the communal showers. it's made even better when kyle catches on that it's johnny (stupidly brave johnny. stupidly knowledgable johnny. stupid, stupid johnny) creating all this extra work, risking lives and ruining people's homes and businesses.

johnny knows that kyle knows that he should report him, he should get johnny struck off and sent to prison for a long time but -

kyle lives off the thrill of saving people. they're just so grateful, so desperate for a kind word, so willing to throw themselves into his soot smudged arms, heedless of the bulky gear or the way johnny grins at kyle and palms his cock over his trousers out of their eye line.

because kyle knows exactly how and when johnny will strike, he gets to be their saviour and johnny gets to reap the rewards when the engine heads back to the firehouse.

(sweat slicked, desperate, two pairs of hands pulling at belt loops. teeth clashing together and sucking marks into skin that is hidden by department issued t-shirts. forearms flexing as a filthy stream is crooned lovingly into the other's ear.

"did'ya see the way she looked at me when i took her over to the ambulance?"

" fu-uck, the size of the flames, garrick. i swear i can still feel the heat oan my face."

two hands gripping slightly too hard, palms dry and pumping furiously -)

but then johnny fucks up.

he burns down your house. and things change. kyle doesn't want to play their fun games any more, he's too busy - too distracted - with you.

for the first time, kyle doesn't want to fool around in the back of the fire engine. he waves johnny off to text you as you get checked out at the hospital for smoke inhalation. and johnny hates that. johnny burns with it. so he pushes.

(kyle's voice catches on a moan as he shoves his leaking cock down johnny's throat, hastily pulling the phone away from his ear so you can't hear how depraved he is as you sob and shake down the phone, crying about the flames in your dreams and how you swear you saw a man in your house just before -)

the next fire johnny sets is only three doors down from your new rented place and he grins when you come flying out of the front door, half dressed and nearly ready for bed. he takes pictures of your gaping mouth and fear blown eyes that reflect the amber haze as the second floor is engulfed in thick rolling smoke.

a reminder for kyle that johnny can so easily take away what he gave him in the first place.

("enough. you've gone too far now mate. this has to stop. you're scaring my -"

stop?

johnny can't stop. doesn't kyle know he'd burn the world to ash for him and him alone?

and who the fuck does garrick think he is calling that little nobody his.)

it's so easy then to decide what to do. johnny can't count on garrick making the right choice, so he does it for him.

you look so peaceful as johnny stands at the end of your bed, watching your slow even breaths as you curl around a pillow, the garrick on the back of your t-shirt somehow both wrinkled and over-stretched as you half turn to bury your nose into the fabric.

johnny cocks his head, waiting. watching. you're a surprisingly deep sleeper considering that garrick is away on a training course at the other end of the country. or maybe the anxiety medication he found in the bathroom cabinet lulls you into a false sense of security, turning your thoughts syrupy and slow.

keeping the monster at the end of the bed at bay.

regardless, your breathing never changes. not even as the wheel of his lighter snicks. not when he crouches to touch the flame to the inside of the soaked waste paper bin he dragged from the spare room turned home office. not when the smell of petrol burns his nose. your breathing never changes. until it's too late. 

(hours later kyle will stand outside the police cordon, staring at the still smouldering bones of your home, his phone clutched in between numb fingers. his last text to johnny showing as delivered but not read. 

“did you do this??”)

[piracytheorist]

Twilight Eyes Project: "Will They Pass or Fail?" (part 2)

Part 1 here

Previous episodes analyses

More anime additions, as we see Twilight make his preparations for the castle visit. Twilight eyes as he listens to his agency's response to his request, though they relax a bit as he notes how fast they were to respond.

I think, in a way, this might communicate how he has little idea of how his fellow spies see him. In both manga and anime, WISE spies run themselves thin in order to assist him, and they're all thankful they even get to see him in the flesh, some even wanting his autograph! Yet he felt embarrassed playing a game with them watching.

He manages to get a plane, and drunk Yor excitedly asks him where he got it, and he seems to struggle putting on his Loid eyes, as he still looks like he can't believe he was dragged into this.

Evidenced by the reluctance on his face, now with Twilight eyes.

Reaching the castle, Anya complains that there are no people around to play as servants and bad guys, and Twilight resorts to asking for help again, and once again his agency pulls through. Despite the help that was so eagerly given, he looks annoyed he has to go through this.

Play is on! In a totally useless charade - since Anya knows everything anyway and Yor is so drunk she's ready to pass out anytime - he pretends to be so very happy for his audience, using Loid eyes.

And while he tries to appear humble, his embarrassment and reluctance shows through.

If only he knew how many people down there were begging for a chance to participate.

Unsurprisingly, Twilight eyes are back on while Franky explains the game,

though they widen in disbelief once Franky instructs the others to give Loid as harder a time as possible - and seems to be really into it.

The game starts, and Twilight at first drags himself on, until he realizes he has to take it seriously if it's to pass quickly and effectively.

And he takes it very seriously.

But, he shouldn't underestimate the resourcefulness of a child when that child wants him to follow her whim. Thus, he fails two out of three questions, and he has no choice but to fall deeper into embarrassment.

He's back to business, however, when it's time to fight through entire groups of fellow agents.

His expressions seem "done" only when it's Anya involved.

Cause when he can pick up even a toy gun and focus on doing the thing, boy he focuses.

Especially if he gets to land a hit on Franky for dragging him into this XD

And as it is known, cool guys don't look at explosions.

However, once he's fought through other spies and avoided rubber balls and… well, explosions, he's ready for this charade to end… but it doesn't, and his tiredness is palpable.

But then, more spies appear around them, and he now has to play the role of Princess Anya's saviour, not just fight his way through traps and "enemies".

And he's not dealing really well with it.

But, it's For The Mission™!

With his entire face blushing, he does a spectacularly bad job at acting like the story's hero, although his coworkers are utterly excited to see him at work.

And then, a wild Yorticia attacks and nearly kicks his head off. He looks at her in utter shock and horror, unable to believe what just happened.

Yor continues her attacks, and all he can manage to do is defend himself as much as he can, though it barely seems enough compared to her strength and fighting skill. He's very much concentrated on it, and he doesn't even have the time to wonder where all that strength and tenacity came from. He's literally fighting for his life here.

Then, Yor breaks though his defense and the shock and fear are back. What is she gonna do next?

She's gonna break her shoe's heel and collapse. Despite the utter shock of the situation, his first action is to ask her if she's okay, realize she just fell asleep, and he then looks relieved. Probably both that she's okay and that she passed out before she could kill him.

Then it's back to dealing with Franky, and he is So Done.

Franky is quickly dealt with, and now he's facing the source of his embarrassment: a child.

Going though this episode, he seems to be perfectly able to concentrate on all the tasks without an issue. It's when he's facing Anya directly that he seems to lose his cool. He was slightly embarrassed asking his agency to come and play the servants and the bad guys, but while facing Anya we get a full-face blush that reaches back to his ears.

It's known to us from the first chapter that children are a sensitive spot for him. Being a spy requires enough detachment from one's feelings that one shouldn't be embarrassed to do anything while a fellow spy watches.

So here, based on the variety of his expressions, I don't think it was the specific context of the "play" that made him mortified - I think it was that it had to do with a child being involved. He's already compromising a ton for the sake of Anya's happiness, and I think what makes him nervous here is that he's showing to everyone how far he's going to make a child happy.

In his mind, he's not supposed to be a real father, only act as one. He's not supposed to really care about Anya's feelings, and he's not supposed to allow others to see he does.

But we know he cares for the happiness of children; it's just that, to ensure that, he's not used to playing with them, but to risking his life and doing shady work. And so, even though he's not invested in the game, it unintentionally brings to the forefront the fact that he cares for a child's happiness.

And maybe that's what Anya sees that makes her run to hug him.

However, spies are still watching, and cheering, to boot, and he's just left there speechless wondering what all that is about.

He'll understand, eventually, we hope.

The anime adds a moment of the other spies leaving between that and the next panel/shot, so here it looks like it's just him and Anya, so when Anya says she's had a lot of fun since leaving the orphanage, he finally relaxes a bit into a more neutral face.

And when she says she'll do her best at school, he smiles at her with what I can easily assume are real eyes.

There isn't really much he needs to do there; Anya is happy, satisfied, motivated to do her best at Eden. For tonight he can consider it a job well done, though I do find it important that Anya's excitement was so big that it even impacted him a little. It isn't just that Anya is motivated to do her part of the mission, it's also that a child had fun overall and felt taken care of. Even though he may not acknowledge it, this has a big value for him.

(no manga spoilers please)

[bean-bean2000]

The Maid - Part 1

Pairing: Loki x reader (on going series)

Warnings: Angst, abuse, mental health (depression, mentions of suicidal thoughts). Eventual loki x reader pairing.

Please read at your own risk. Your own media consumption is not my responsibility. Please read and review the warnings before proceeding.

Thank you and enjoy!

Part 2 Series masterlist Main Masterlist

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You stare up at the ceiling as you lay in bed next to the man who calls himself 'your saviour'. Every time he stirs in his sleep, you gasp and wince in fear of waking him. He is far better asleep than he will ever be awake.

Three years ago, you fell into the arms of a man you thought would help you. You were alone, homeless and desperate. Your parents had died in a house fire, which left you with nothing and no one. Naive, you trusted the first person that showed you an ounce of kindness. You had fallen intro a trap, one you thought was love, but was in fact a cage. Your parents had left you with a significant debt to repay to the crown. He forced you to work for him, do whatever he wants, in exchange for money to help pay off the debt. You have been stuck in this horrific home since, unable to do anything without consequence.

You haven't had a proper night's sleep in years. Your eyes are sunken with deep dark circles beneath. You hardly eat anymore.

You stopped feeling anything at all, years ago. All you feel is numb, like a zombie, a shell of your former self. A life that is so far away, the memories have long faded.

You're so lost in thought, gazing into nothingness when you're suddenly yanked out of the bed.

"Get up. You're leaving. I finally found a use for you." he spits at you.

You don't have enough energy to question him as you get up sluggishly and head to the bathroom to change.

As soon as you exit the bathroom, he is dragging you outside where a a dozen soldiers await; people are lined up in front of them.

"Here. Take her." he says to the guard as he shoves you towards him.

The soldier looks you up and down and nods. You're swept away by other men and hoisted onto the back of a carriage. Other men and women peer up at you in fear.

It doesn't take long for you to realize what has happened. You've been sold to the crown to be a worker. You stare at the floor and zone out, wondering if you will forever be forced to be at the mercy of others that are powerful and wealthy. As the carriage takes off, you feel nothing, you hear nothing, all you see is your so-called 'home' slowly fade behind the trees.

The others have fallen asleep as you stare out the carriage. You have no idea how long it has been but the sun has long set and it is deep into the evening when you arrive at the castle. The guards shuffle you out, line you up and assign you your duties.

"You." The woman points at you. "She will do." she says as she hands you a pile of clothes. You stare up at her as she clarifies your new job: maid.

The guards lead each group of workers to their designated quarters.

"You are maids. You will follow the schedule, with no excuses. You have been sold to serve for the crown. You will receive no pay. Your pay is the right to live in the castle. You will be provided food and shelter. Any act of disobedience will be punishable by any means appropriate that is decided upon the guards or anyone of higher status. You are to speak to no one. Do your job and stay quiet." The guard finishes explaining your new life then turns around and shuts the doors closed behind him with a loud bang.

The silence is deafening. Everyone too scared to say a word. They all choose a makeshift bed on the floor and prepare to get some sleep before the new day.

You sit in your cot and stare at the floor. You don't realize how much time had passed until the sun shining on your face and the guards are yelling at you all to wake up and start the day.

Will I ever know freedom? Will I ever find happiness? Or am I forced to succumb to this measely life until I die?

The first two weeks seem to pass without problems, until the guards decide to take it upon themselves to 'discipline' as they deem fit.

Most guards resort to name-calling, degradation or sometimes physical punishment. Nothing, nobody was as terrible as one who we called "Snake". He would slither his way into the chambers and choose his prey for the week, sometimes longer. He did as he pleased, if met with opposition, he would often beat them into submission.

You managed to avoid him as long as possible until one night, his large finger points towards you.

You stare at him, expressionless. You refuse to give him the pleasure of seeing your pain, your fear or your desperation. His eyes turn cloudy with anger as he watches you approach him, emotionless.

The others look at you with fear and pity as he drags you out of the maid's quarters towards his room.

He throws you on the floor and closes the door behind him.

"You think I don't know your little game, you harlot?" he sneers at you as he picks you up and slaps you so hard you fall to the floor, your cheek pulsating in pain.

He grabs your cheeks tightly with one hand and squeezes "You will fear me. You will obey me." he threatens you.

Once again, you stare at him blankly. You feel nothing, you haven't for a long time now.

He growls in frustration and punches you again, searching for any reaction; tears, a grunt, a whimper, anything, and yet you show nothing.

"You witch. Impossible. Everybody fears me." he yells at you as he strikes you again. You lay on the floor motionless, your nose and mouth bleeding.

"You will answer me when I speak to you!" he growls in anger as he strikes you again.

You stare up at him and remain silent.

"Are you deaf? mute? Useless! Maybe, you will be useful for other things instead...." he sneers at you as he smirks disgustingly with a knowing look.

Again, you stare at him blankly again. As he begins unbuckling his belt he says "Submit to me. You will do as I say, maid."

You start laughing which makes him look up at you in rage.

"You dare laugh at me?! You filthy servant!" he grabs you by the neck and holds you down tightly, slightly cutting off your airways but enough for you to remain awake.

"Submit to me!" he yells at you.

"Never." you croak.

He screams in a fit of rage and strikes you again. You continue to laugh.

"Witchcraft! You're a disgusting witch! Submit to me or I will have you burned at the stake!" he spits at you.

"I promise you, I will bite your dick off if it comes near me. The human jaw can be so powerful, sometimes a crowbar isn't strong enough to pry it open and I promise you I will not let go until my jaw is pried open." you threaten him as you begin laughing hysterically.

He stares at you in confusion, disgust and fear.

"I knew it! You're a witch!" He screams.

"Are you sure you want to test that theory?" you laugh at him.

He yells in frustration as he strikes you again "I said submit to me!"

You stare him directly in the eyes "No matter how loud the wind howls, the mountain will not bow down to it."

His eyes turn red with rage, he picks you up and throws you across the room. He kicks you on your side.

He continues hitting you as he demands you submit to him. You repeat the same word, almost as a prayer "Never".

You didn't care if you died or how, but you promised yourself that no matter how desperate you would become, you would never submit yourself to another man again, no matter the cost.

Once he is finally done he spits on you, drags you back to the maid's chambers and throws on you the floor as he slams the door behind him.

A few women crowd you and help you to your cot. You're bleeding from your nose and mouth. Your eye is black and swollen shut, your lip is split, your ribs hurt when you breathe.

Even after all that, you realize you still feel nothing. You stare up at the ceiling as the other women surround you to help clean your wounds.

From that moment on, you have been the subject to the Snake's abuse. You have spoken no words, except for "Never" every time the Snake commands you to submit to him. You would rather take on every physical punishment, than let him touch an inch of you.

A few weeks pass with the same abuse, except now other guards have partaken in it as well. You are now referred to as "witch" by the guards. They sneer at you when you walk past them. You keep your head held high and walk straight forward, without giving them a glance.

I am my own person. I have my own thoughts. I am not a puppet.

You repeat these phrases everyday in your head, like a chant to keep you grounded. You've taught yourself to recite small facts about your life to yourself in your head, such as your birthday, your favourite colour, your favourite author and book. It reminds you of who you are, of who they can never take away from you.

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As the months go by, the abuse never ceases. It periodically skips you, allowing your body time to heal before being targeted again.

You have managed to be friendly with the other maids, but still keep to yourself and limit your words. You rarely speak and only do so when absolutely necessary. You decided it was safest for you this way.

You have been generally assigned menial maid tasks, such as cleaning the chambers of the guards or other members of higher status than you, until today. You’re assigned to clean King Loki's quarters. He owns an entire wing to himself, therefore you are to do it alone as he is very particular about his items. It was decided upon the head maid that you were the least likely to steal and most likely to complete the job to Loki's very high standards.

Without much of a choice, you accept the new assignment and make your way to his wing. As grateful as you are for this opportunity, to work alone and use the specialized cleaning supplies for the king, you were also in so much pain. The previous night was the harshest in a long time. The guards told you the king wanted to send you a personal message. By the end of it, you could hardly move and had to be dragged to your cot. Laying in bed, you wondered why the king would choose you for this punishment. You had done nothing wrong, what made you deserving of such poor treatment?

As you're walking to the kings wing, every step you take is followed by a limp and a wince. Nevertheless, the work had to be completed. The consequences were too severe if the work were not to be completed to his prestigious standards. If the king was willing to send you such a message the previous night as a warning for what was to come, the current pain was worth suffering through. From what you've heard the kings punishments never ended well. Nobody ever returned.

With that in mind, you headed to his wing with a slight limp and a wince under your breathe with every step.

Two week pass by and you've been permanently assigned to clean the kings wing, as per his request. You hope it is because he is satisfied with your work, rather than this be some cruel plan.

Once the guards heard of your new permanent position as the kings personal maid, their visits became daily. You were now the only maid being succumbed to their harsh treatment. You knew they were trying to sabotage you so the king would be displeased with your work and be rid of you.

Even so, everyday you wake up and perform your duties. You persevered and refused to let them think they won, no matter how painful, you always kept your head held high.

You're walking to the kings wing, products and cleaning items in hand when a guard approaches and swings his arm at you. You fall to the floor, Cleaning products go flying across the hall, splattering on the floor, against the wall and all over you.

"Tsk tsk tsk... what a shame... you better pray the king doesn't see this mess you caused...." he laughs as he walks over you.

You say nothing as you try getting up but slip on the soapy wet floor. You curse at the mess.

He can't see this. I have to clean this up. I can't be delayed, the king accepts no excuses for punctuality. He will kick me out on the streets... or worse... have me killed.

You get up shakily, holding on the wall for as much support as possible. Your body aches as you start mopping up the mess with speed that can only be explained by pure fear.

Once it's decently done you run to the next room and start cleaning as fast as possible. The pain from the abuse inflicted upon you daily is taking its toll. You decide you have to suck it up until you're done.

You're doing your final task: The king's bedroom. With one wrist against your chest, you clean the bedroom. You're trying to make the bed but can't do it with one hand. Shakily, you move your other wrist and try grabbing the sheets. You hiss in pain and pull back. You're slowing down, taking longer to do simple tasks. Your wrist is swollen wrist and throbbing in pain from the fall earlier. You can hardly move it.

You manage to finish making the bed and is finishing off by dusting the room, keeping your wrist to your chest to stabilize it as much as possible. As you were working through your pain, you didn't notice the time until you hear somebody clear their throat behind you.

You gasp in surprise and spin around.

"King Loki... your highness... I apologize for my tardiness... I-" you start rambling, your head looking down and your legs in a curtsy.

"The hall is a mess. You're late. Your work is very subpar today. I'm disappointed." he tells you coldly while staring you down.

You say nothing as to avoid accidentally insulting him or frustrating him further.

"Consider this your first and last warning. If this happens again, you will heed the consequences." He says to you, chin up, staring at you while you keep your eyes on your shoes.

You mumble another apology when he dismisses you.

You quickly run out of his bedroom. Your heart is racing, you're shaking.

You run to the maid's quarters and go to your cot, avoiding the others. You're staring up at the ceiling, wondering how you possibly escaped his wrath. Replaying the scene in your head, you realize you never looked at him. You've never seen the king in person, only in pictures.

Luckily, tomorrow is the weekend the guards go out to the neighbouring city as a security check-up. You stare at your wrist, which is now purple, blue and swollen. You go to the bathroom and lock the door so you're alone. You remove your clothes as take in a sharp breath as pain courses through your body. You use two wooden sticks you found outside earlier, to stabilize your wrist, hoping it will speed the healing process. When you look up at your reflection you notice the deep colouring littering your body. Purple, blue, yellow, green.... bruises in various levels of healing spread across your body.

You come to the conclusion that you need help... medical help. You slip on a night gown and make your way to the clinic where Dr. Banner resides. He is the only doctor the workers of lower status trust, as he is kind, caring and genuine.

He welcomes you in his room and questions why you came to him so late at night.

You say nothing. You lift your night gown and watch as his eyes widen in understanding. He turns around and files through his medical cabinet.

"Here. Take one pill a day for 3 days. It will completely numb your pain and significantly increase the healing process. Put this healing balm over your bruises and on your wrist, every night for a week." he says to you as he hands you the medicine.

You open your mouth to thank him when he lifts his hand up "No need... please stay safe... if ever you need anything, you know where to find me." his eyes filled with pain and compassion.

You nod and turn around to walk back to your cot.

You immediately spread the balm over your body once your in the bathroom and wrap what you can in bandages to keep it from absorbing into the clothes rather than your skin.

Laying down in bed, the adrenaline from the day wears off and fatigue takes over until you fall into a deep sleep.

Part 2

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I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Feedback is always welcome. Feel free to send me suggestions for scenes/drabbles that I could add into the stroy :)

Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list!

[sugar-grigri]

Do you feel Asa's been underutilized these last chapters? I trust in Fuji but he kinda skipped over a lot of interest developments for her (her fame, her arm, Denji's identity, even the alley to some extent)

Has Fujimoto really forgotten Asa? 

That's an interesting question, and I think you're not the only one who thinks so. It's a pretty legitimate criticism and I'm not here to deny those concerns. No one can predict whether Asa's character development and treatment will be up to scratch. Since it's an answer that's answered at the end of a work. 

I think so too, just in the realization of the feelings, I would have liked it to be a little more tortured and focused on that. You could say that since Fujimoto seems to be trying to set up a fairly dense scenario, that too much concentration on the sentimental and internal debates between the characters would break the rhythm. What I'd like to say is that, if this is Fujimoto's intention...

CSM has already suffered from a loss of rhythm.

Worse, this loss of pace was achieved by focusing on Denji's character.

Worse still, Fujimoto preferred to concentrate on Denji's malaise, putting Asa aside. 

I think it's important that Asa regains her role as protagonist. I know this may come as a shock, but despite my analysis, I sometimes get fed up with the focus on Denji. Even when I thought she'd be back in the light, when she was ready to save Denji, the focus was irrevocably on him when he woke up. I find that Denji's character takes up an enormous amount of space in relation to the treatment of the others, and that wasn't the case at all in Part 1. 

As much as Yoshida is written as a mystery, Asa is less so: she's a character built on the need to question her every action.

Does it really make sense for her to want to help Chainsaw Man? It's not at all, but it's treated as a logical consequence of CSM saving her. You're right, we don't exploit at all the fact that she has to mentally and emotionally unite her feelings for CSM and Denji when she learns who she is. It would have been super interesting to exploit the fact that it's a difficult exercise because she doesn't feel the same way about one as the other. 

As for the masturbation scene, I agree and disagree with the two opposing sides that analyze this scene. For me, given the narrative coherence of Asa's character and the way it's written, it should have been a tsunami. For me it's a sexual assault on Denji and Asa committed by Yoru, but it's also a destruction of the way Asa tries to protect her. Again, it could have been exciting to exploit that just as Asa influences Yoru with her feelings, Yoru influences Asa by putting her in danger and having an influence on her fear, not realizing the wounds that can be inflicted on her, whether physical (lost hand), or mental (this assault). But no, it's hidden. And that's where I agree with those who argue that it's """"consented"""". Not by saying it is. But for the fact that Fujimoto does treat this scene as it is, and decides to euphemize it so as not to dwell on it too much. It was the worst possible way to go, and I'm really disappointed. Not for deciding to make this scene. But for not exploiting it. 

I'm sorry, but it's really in the treatment of Asa's character that I don't have much hope and that I'm disappointed. At times, I even get the impression that Fujimoto wanted to exploit Denji's final love interest a little, developing her until she wanted to save him. And then it's good! We've got our saviour. 

I want Asa to be exploited just as much as I want Yoru to be exploited. Fami is separate, and so is death. They themselves are sources of mystery. But if Asa is a protagonist, so is Yoru. Or at least a deuteragonist. It might have been interesting to exploit the pov of a knight of the apocalypse. Exploiting and developing this hatred for CSM, the affectation of feelings that can make this hatred more passionate. But again, nothing. 

I'm not saying that Denji's arc didn't add anything. All my analyses are here to explain how it differs from what has been said. Did it have to be done by focusing massively on Denji? Without any variation in points of view? Seriously, I know Fujimoto can do it. He just decided not to.

So the result is that I'm raging for Asa. And I'll eat my fist if I see that Yoshida isn't coming back and is still underused. 

Worse, Denji's character is getting on my nerves. 

There, that was salty grigri.