#she wanted to cuss him out so badly

[thundergrace]

Me:

[strawhbrrries]

Movement

pairing: mike schmidt x afab!reader

summary: a double date that leads to mike schmidt coming home with you in the name of "helping your friend" and he ends up fucking you.

warnings: unprotected sex, no foreplay, creampie??, female pronouns, slight degrading??, pet names, heavy cussing, mike being hashtag v hot, no established relationship, porn with no plot, not proofread

word count: 2.1k words

author’s note: listen to movement by hozier for the full experience!!! I know this fic wasn't voted to be the first mike one to be posted but I had to do it okay!!!! he's so hot n sexy in this and i need him badly...please enjoy! mwah!

Your eyes scanned the restaurant in front of your car, you were promised a very nice dinner with a very nice man and the place you ended up might as well have been a denny’s. Gia somehow managed to rope you into a double date and as the amazing friend you are, you obliged. Now, you wanted to take it back. If the guy you were set up with wasn’t just an absolute heartthrob you might consider strangling her in the bathroom.

“Gia, this better be the best damn food and the hottest men you have ever experienced or I’m never doing you another favor ever again.” You teased, getting out of your car as she walked up to it.

“I swear he said this place was nicer! Thank you so much babes, I owe you one!” She responded, slipping her arm inside of yours to walk inside. “Maybe the inside is really nice and it’s just a shady exterior.”

You’d never seen the man Gia was seeing tonight so when the two of you arrived at the table you weren’t sure which man was yours, but you knew which one you wanted. He looked gentle, shaggy hair untamed almost like he wasn’t prepared to go on a date tonight. 

“I suppose I’m your date.” He smiled softly, getting up to pull your chair out for you. “I’m MIke, you look uh, really beautiful tonight.”

After the introductions and small talk the two of you hit it off right away, it helped that Gia and her date were more interested in each other than remembering that the people they brought also existed.  The more you talked the more Mike came out of his shell, he wasn’t as shy as you first pegged him to be. Your heel was slowly caressing his calf, neither of you were quite sure when it had ended up there but he wasn’t complaining.

“A man in uniform is hot.” Your flirting was a little rusty, but it seemed to be working just fine for you.

“It’s just a security gig.” He shrugged it off, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time. 

You grabbed the straw of your drink, wrapped your tongue around it, and took a sip. Mike choked slightly but covered it up with a cough, adjusting his pants under the table at the same time. 

“She’s not going to go home with him unless I go home with you.” You whispered in his ear as you leaned over the table, tangling your fingers in his hair to trick Gia into thinking you were whispering something dirty. “I’d really like to go home with you.”

You could feel the heat creep up his neck, his face was flushed. His heart might as well be on the outside of his chest with the intensity that it was beating, it’d been a long time since he’d been on a date or even gotten laid but Abby was at home and that just wouldn’t work.

“Uhm, my sister’s at home, can we go to your place?” Mike’s saliva was thick and pooling in his mouth, it felt almost impossible to swallow. He had to be dreaming, this just didn’t make sense otherwise. He was just doing his friend a favor and now your breath was hot on his neck and his jeans were uncomfortably tight.

The second the two of you walked outside he got fidgety, like he was going to take off the second you let go of his hand. Frankly he was surprised you hadn’t let go of it the second you picked it up, he was dripping sweat from the moment he realized you were his date. He quickly made a mental note to send a letter to the company who made his preferred deodorant, the fact that he didn’t smell absolutely putrid spoke volumes on their product.

“So did you mean what you said inside? Because I’m perfectly okay with just going home.” 

“I meant it, don’t be so nervous.” You smiled back at him, handing him the keys to your car.

The tension was thick, his knuckles were white as he tried to keep his focus on the road ahead and making it back to your place safely and not the fingers drawing figures on his thigh as you spoke about something he couldn’t quite grasp. 

Your place wasn’t too far from the restaurant that Gia’s date had picked, that Mike was thankful for. The longer he had to endure the torture that was your fingers on this thighs, the less his ability to be a gentleman and control himself existed. If it was up to him, he’d probably just pulled over and fucked you in the backseat of your own car but it wasn’t. He was a gentleman, he’d just met you all of a few hours ago, he knew better.

“This is the place.” You smiled softly as he pulled into your driveway.

“It’s nice.” He stated, handing your car keys back to you and taking your hand. “Suits you.”

Mike’s eyes wandered the walls, taking in every aspect of you, as you led him through the house. It didn’t take him long to notice that you lived alone, another thing he was now thankful for. His fingers trailed the zipper of your dress as he stood behind you in your bedroom, his other hand rubbing your arm and leaving goosebumps in its wake. 

“Are you going to take it off?” Your voice was shaky and quiet, for the first time tonight you were nervous. 

“And you thought I was the eager one.” He chuckled, tugging your hair back softly to give him just enough access to your face to make eye contact with you. “Do you get off on bringing strangers to your home and having them fuck you?”

A soft whimper escaped your lips, blessing the ears of the man behind you who responded with a groan. His lips made contact with your neck, biting and sucking at any of the skin he had access to. The hand that was holding your hair back made itself busy drawing the zipper of your dress further and further down until it couldn’t go any further, you shivered as the cold air hit your back. 

Mike detached himself from your neck and took a step back, briefly admiring how disheveled you looked despite still being fully dressed, he made a quick motion for you to turn around and you obliged almost immediately. If you got his dick any harder it might’ve fallen off before he ever got the chance to use it. 

He backed you into the bed, laying you down and sliding your dress off and into a pile on the floor. Another deep groan was emitted into the air as he took in the sight in front of him, you hadn’t worn a bra and the underwear you’d chosen left nothing to the imagination. Mike immediately started thanking whatever god was above for you and the experience he was about to have. 

Your heart was pounding out of your chest. Truthfully, you hadn’t planned on sleeping with anyone tonight but then you saw him and your entire plan was flipped upside down. You lied about your friend not going home with her date if you didn’t leave with him, you didn’t want him to think you were desperate but he knew now. The second he touched the zipper of your dress, anything left of your facade was gone. You needed him.

“If you weren’t so fucking wet I would’ve thought you were only doing me a favor.” He spoke nonchalantly, rubbing his finger over your folds through your underwear. “ Or maybe you’re just a whore? Huh?”

“For you.” You choked out, words getting caught in your throat over his words. 

At the beginning of the night you would’ve placed money on the fact that he wasn’t capable of things like this, it was like another side of him had come out during the drive to your house. You weren’t complaining, his words were getting to you in a way you’d never experienced. 

“Yeah? For me? Mikey’s own personal whore.” He slipped your underwear to the side and slid his finger through your folds, collecting your juices and bringing them to his mouth. “You’re as sweet as you look, need a honey jar full of you.”

You cried out at him softly, trying to use anything you had to stop his teasing. He was winding you up but edging you right before you could pop, he could’ve said anything and you would’ve agreed just to get him to fuck you. Being this desperate for a man you hardly knew was an exhilarating experience. 

“Please, I need you.” You whined, grabbing at his shirt in a desperate plea. “Please.”

“Good job using your words, pretty girl.” Mike praised, hooking his fingers in the waistband of your underwear and pulling them down, throwing them in the same pile as your dress.

His clothes soon joined yours on the floor, a small pout emerging when you realized you wouldn’t be able to suck him off, his eyes catching yours as he climbed up your body. He kissed his way up, biting occasionally. Fingers tracing your skin just as you had done to him earlier in the night, lighting a fire on your skin as they went. It was like his body was made to fit yours, like your souls had searched for each other through every lifetime and yet this was the first time they had met.

His lips finally met yours for the first time, teeth nipping at your bottom lip as he pulled away to breathily whisper something in your ear. You shook your head in agreement at whatever he said, as long as he kept touching you like that and making noises in your ear you’d agree to anything he said to you. 

Shaking your head yes was the best decision you’d made so far, you felt two fingers slip inside of you. Thrusting for a few moments before they were replaced by the tip of his cock, slowly pushing in as his mouth found one of your nipples. The gentle man you had once perceived had been replaced by a god who was hung like a horse, splitting you in half with the cock fit for a god.

“Fuck.” Mike moaned, tipping his head back when he bottomed out, taking your legs and placing them on his shoulders. “So good, pretty girl.”

Anything you had planned on responding with quickly dissipated the second he pulled out and thrusted back in, a low groan coming out insead. His fingers were digging into your thighs as he held them up where he wanted them, all you could hope for was the imprints bruising as a reminder that this actually happened. What hair that wasn’t sticking to his skin from the sweat covering it was dangling backwards freely, all his focus was on not cumming too soon and if he continued to look at you he definitely would.

Your eyes had glossed over a long time ago, tears streaming down the sides as a byproduct of the blissful state his cock had put you in, fingers gripping desperately at the sheets and your tits bouncing with each thrust. He was once again praying to every god that he would get to do this another time, then he could sear the image of you under him into his mind.

“Mike, Mikey I need..” You whined, the knot in your stomach twisting and turning, threatening to spill before you could even finish a coherent thought.

“C’mon pretty girl, you can do it, let it go.” He praised you, bringing his thumb down to your clit and drawing figure eights in time with his thrusts to help your orgasm spill over.

His words were the final piece in the puzzle, your orgasm hitting you soon after he spoke. Legs shaking, mind blowing, tears, and silent moans was all your body could do at the supernova your orgasm had proved to be. You’d never cum this hard before but if every orgasm after didn’t measure up, he had ruined you. 

“You did so good.” Was all you heard as you came down from your high, Mike’s hands soothed down your hair as he whispered into your ear. 

His thrusts continued at the same pace for only a few seconds before his hips stuttered and he painted your insides white. 

“I guess tonight wasn’t a total waste.” You joked quietly, turning to the side to smile at him as he laid down next to you. 

“We need to do this more often.”

[mattyriddlesbitch]

English is not my first language, so I apologize if this request looks confuse :(

but can you do mean!mattheo × shy!reader and she's soooo needy and horny, but doesn't say nothing, but matty realizes it and make her tell him EVERY LITTLE THING that she wants him to do, and she's so embarrassed and he's just pouting and saying "if you don't tell me what you need i can't do anything, angel" and she's just buring her face in his neck and saying "please" but he doesn't do nothing until she says graphically what she wants. and he's so mean, edging her with his mouth and fingers (maybe some toys if u want) until shes crying, and then he just overstimulate her as fuck!!! (but he also doesn't forget to praise his girl for doing so well!!!!)

i know this is super specific, but my mind is lost in dirty thoughts, I'm sorryyyyy 😔

btw, can i be -🌙 anon?

Yes! You can be 🌙 anon! I hope this works for you!

Guide Me

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Warnings: Oral(female receiving), fingering, cussing, orgasm denial, edging, overstimulation.

18+ Minors DNI!

You had been feeling so needy and desperate all day. Especially now as you cuddle with Mattheo in his bed, surrounded by his scent and warmth and him. You needed him so badly, but were too embarrassed to say anything. You never liked being vulgar about what you want. Even finding it hard to initiate sex. 

Mattheo could tell by your subtle shifting and the way you were clinging to him as you cuddled. But he wanted you to say it. He wanted you to tell him what you wanted.

“You okay, princess?” He asked as you shifted around again for the umpteenth time.

“Yeah.” You said softly, scooting slightly closer, as if that was even possible.

“You’re moving around a lot, are you uncomfortable? Do you need something?” He asked, still feigning ignorance to your horniness.

“No.” You spoke so quietly, he almost didn’t hear it.

“You sure, darling?” He moved your hair so he could see your face better. “Because you just have to say the word, and I’ll help you out, whatever you need.” 

You glanced up at him before looking back down, letting a deep breath out as you debated on saying anything or not. “I need you.” You kept that quiet tone, embarrassed about saying it outloud.

“What do you need from me?” He asked, tilting your head up to look at him.

You realized his little game now, blushing at having to tell him more. “You know what I need.” You say, moving to bury your head in his neck.

“I don’t. You gotta use your words, angel.”

“Please.” You say quietly into his neck.

“Begging me won’t help if I don’t know what you want.” He was teasing you and you hated it. He wanted you to talk dirty to him, tell him everything you wanted.

You groaned softly, not moving away from his neck. “I need you in me, please.”

“How so? You want my mouth, my fingers, my cock? Maybe your little dildo would suffice if you don’t wanna use your words.”

You pulled back to look at him now. “I would like your mouth and fingers please.”

He smiled at you now. “Was that so hard, sweetheart?” He said as he pushed you gently onto your back. He helped you out of your clothes, keeping his touch soft. “Guide me through it, baby. I like hearing you talk dirty.” He settled between your legs, placing soft kisses to your thighs.

“Use your tongue on me, please.” You said softly, still embarrassed, but the way he was looking at you so eagerly helped a little.

He listened and started licking at your pussy, groaning at the taste. You moaned, tangling a hand in his hair. “Like this, princess?” He asked as he looked up at you.

“Just like that, yes.” You nod, throwing your head back.

He continued and you were starting to feel like you needed more, but he wasn’t giving anymore than the licks.

“Need more, Matty. Please.” You begged as you looked back at him.

“What else do you want? You gotta tell me.” He said with a smirk, loving your reaction.

“Your fingers. I need them in me.”

“That’s my girl. Good job.” He said as he pushed his fingers in you, going back to licking at your clit.

You were moaning and cursing at the pleasure, trying to keep your head up to watch him. He was a fucking expert with his mouth and fingers and had your orgasm building quickly.

“Fuck, Matty, I’m so close.” You moaned, throwing your head back again.

He pulled his fingers out and pulled back slightly. You whined, feeling your orgasm get pulled away from you.

“What the fuck?” You asked as you looked back at him.

“I told you to guide me, you didn’t say anything about letting you cum.” He smiled mischievously

“Then make me cum.” You frowned at him.

“How?” He asked with that stupid smile.

That one word would have made you ready to kill him if you weren’t so fucking horny. “The same thing, fingers and mouth.”

“No ‘please’ this time?” He teased.

“Please.” You whined.

He complied and pushed his fingers back into you, bringing his mouth back to your clit. This man drove you insane, but damn, if he wasn’t so fucking good at this. He had you moaning and bucking into his face within seconds, that orgasm that was previously building coming back again.

“Don’t stop, please, don’t fucking stop.” You moaned, holding onto his hair tightly.

He groaned as he kept going, satisfied he got you to talk again.

You came on his fingers and tongue in mere moments, crying out his name as he helped you ride it out. He wasn’t letting up, though. He kept going and made you shake and cry again.

“Mattheo, please.” You cried.

He ignored you, still going. You could feel the tears building as you tried closing your legs on his head. He just used his free hand to push them back open, never letting up. You were crying and your body couldn’t decide if it should buck into his face for more pleasure, or back away to get a break.

“Matty.” You whined his name again.

Again, though, he ignored it, ignoring your pleas. In fact, it felt like he was going faster, harder, deeper. He ripped another orgasm from you, making you scream his name as your body shook almost violently.

And again, he didn’t let up, continuing his assault on your pussy.

“Stop. Please. I can’t” You tried closing your legs on his head, and he backed off, removing his fingers from you before putting them in his mouth to clean them off.

“Look at you. You’re learning how to use your words.” He smiled before leaning down to kiss you.

You both moaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around him as his roamed your body.

“Now, how about I get to guide you with my words?” He smiled at you.

[clockwayswrites]

Another Red Snippet

“Let go of me!” The scream crackled through Red Hood’s comm, desperate and pleading. “Quite!” Hood hissed. It wasn’t a sharp, angry word but one that wobbled with badly covered fear. Hood sounded young. “He’ll hear us! You have to be quite. He’ll hear us, can’t you hear him? He’s laughing.” “Fear toxin,” Batman rumbled, as if any of them needed to be told that.

“I have anti-venom on me,” Red Robin responded quickly to the unvoiced question in Batman’s words. Dick didn’t want to listen to the words from the warehouse, but he couldn’t not. “Who’s laughing? Is it Dad? No, no, no! You have to let me go!” “Hush up!” “He can’t find me! Dad can’t— he’ll kill me if he finds me!” “You’ll need to be prepared that Scarecrow has changed the formula,” Oracle advised. She was as calm seeming as ever, though Dick could hear her worry through in the frantic clack of her keys. “Now that I have an address, I’ve been able to track a few shipments. There’s at least one chemical that’s unusual for him.” “Don’t give them the anti-venom different or it may not have full effect different?” Dick asked as planned out his next grapple. “I don’t know.” “Fuck,” Red cussed softly. “I’ll keep you safe, okay? I promise,” Hood assured the other voice. “Robin will always keep you safe, right? We just have to be quiet and I can get us out of here.”

“I suggest you hurry before Hood does find a way out,” Robin (the current Robin), snapped across the comms. “We do not know where he will run in this state.” “No one keeps me safe,” the voice said with a defeated certainty. “No one cares that I died.” “We know, Robin, we’re almost there,” Red snapped back. Dick didn’t have the focus to reprimand either of them, he just wanted to get to Jason. He just needed to get to his little brother who acted so tough and grown up that it was too easy to forget that he was still just nineteen. He was still a kid.

[2hightocare]

UNEXPECTED NEWS!

Synopsis: Pregnant with your first child, how do you plan on dropping the news to your husband?

Genre: married au! KUWTB!

Warnings: whole lotta fluff.. cussing, mentions of sex, playful banter, found family… just fucking fluff bye.

a/n: well long awaited drabble.. I honestly adore all of them so much… Jungkook and oc were being extra cutesy (they usually play fighting all the time) in this.. enjoy🤍 ps I’m high as fuck so ignore all mistakes.

ask! KUWTB💌

“You’re fucking pregnant?” Your best friend whispers, Eunbi stares at you with wide eyes and mouth hanging open.

You had been feeling weird these past few days, from your emotions being all over the place to throwing up whenever you ate something. Jungkook was worried about what was wrong, but you just told him that you were on your period, which was a lie since you hadn’t had it in some time now.

So, here you are, sitting against the wall in the bathroom of Eunbi’s house with a positive pregnancy test in your hand. “I’m going to be an auntie!” Eunbi dances in front of you, her blonde hair coming undone from her bun.

“Oh my god, I’m pregnant.” It finally clicks in your brain that a small human is forming in your belly at this very moment, tears start streaming down your face.

You and Jungkook have been married for five years now. When you first got married, you both said you would enjoy your marriage and have fun. And that’s exactly what you did; you traveled a lot, went out to parties until five in the morning, did spontaneous stuff all the time.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Eunbi rushes to your side, kneeling down in front of you, lifting your face up. “Are these happy tears or sad tears?” She asks, her thumbs wiping your tears away, ruining your makeup.

“Both.” You sniffle, your eyes finally meeting her hazel eyes.

“Wanna talk about it?” Eunbi asks slowly, trying to read your expression.

Eunbi has been your best friend since college days; she was your dorm roommate. You both majored in the same thing, meaning you guys had almost every class together.

“It’s just that..” you pout, as the tears continue to fall.

“I’m happy, I’m really happy. But Kook and I haven’t talked about having a baby anytime soon. I don’t know how he’ll react.” You explain, as Eunbi only nods her head.

“Y/n, that man loves you so much, it’s even absurd what he would do for you. Knowing him, he would literally jump off a cliff for you. I don’t think he’ll react badly, but if he does, I’ll have the guys throw him off the cliff. Anyways, he loves you a lot with a baby or without a baby.” Eunbi says, helping you stand up before hugging.

“How do you think I should tell him?” You sniffle, as Eunbi chuckles, letting go of you.

“Pregnancy reveal plan in the making!” Eunbi says.

“And can we get out of here, this is where Yoongi takes his shits, it kinda smells bad,” Eunbi scrambles to the door, which has you laughing, following her lead out of the bathroom.

…

It’s been two days since you found out you were pregnant, but you haven’t told Jungkook anything yet. Eunbi and you planned a way of telling him the day you found out, so here you are, nervous as hell in Jungkook's car, trying to calm your nerves.

After a couple of minutes, you step out of the car with your shoulder bag and some shopping bags. You lock the car behind you and make your way to the main door.

“Hi baby, how did it go?” Your husband greets you the minute you walk in from the couch. “What did you buy?” Jungkook pauses the show he was just watching, putting all his attention on you, making grabby hands for you to go to him.

“Want a haul?” You giggle, making your way to him who pats his lap for you to sit on, which you do after dropping the bags beside him.

“Better have used my card,” he gives you a glare which you only roll your eyes playfully, reaching for your Prada bag before pulling out his black card and handing it to him. “Keep it, you use it more than me,” waves you off, giving your neck a wet kiss.

“Did the girls not go? I was on the phone with Taehyung, and he said Ari was making dinner.” Jungkook gives your thigh a squeeze, helping you adjust in his lap. “Ari said she was really busy with work, and Lora was taking care of Jiho since Jin is working.” You explain, running your fingers through his messy curls.

“You went by yourself? I could’ve gone with you, baby.” Jungkook pouts at you, which you shake your head with a smile. “Eunbi went with me, plus you had work,” You squeeze his cheeks.

“Tsk, I missed you,” He smiles, pulling your face closer to his before connecting his lips to yours. Your eyes immediately flutter closed, mirroring his smile against your lips.

“I have to show you something.” You bring up, your stomach doing a turn. “Show me,” He smiles, patting your thigh, before you climb off his lap, reaching for the shopping bags.

“Are you going to give me a haul?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you, which you only wink back as a response.

“So, I got a lot of makeup,” you say, showing him every product you got, which he listened to carefully even though he had no clue what half of the stuff you bought is used for. “I got us these, so we can all match,” you pull out the biggest Nike shoe box first, passing it to your husband.

“These are sick as fuck,” Jungkook holds up the black and white high tops. “Let me see yours.” He motions to the other box in the bag; you hand him your shoe box. Instead of high tops, they’re low instead.

“Super cute, they match your outfit right now,” He says about your pink long sleeve bodysuit. “They do, don't they,” You say, cracking your fingers nervously to show him the much smaller box in the bag.

“Oh, who’s this one for?” Jungkook reached for the small box, opening it to be met with tiny matching shoes. “Are these for Jiho? I don’t think they would fit him,” Your husband brings up the only child in the family as he holds the tiny shoe in his palm.

“They’re not for Jiho..” You nervously say, as you dig into your bag, pulling out the positive pregnancy test.

“You’re fucking kidding,” Jungkook's mouth hangs open as he stares at your teary eyes. You shake your head, tears start falling down your eyes watching your husband that’s stuck in place with wide eyes.

“I’m going to pass out, baby, are you serious?” Jungkook's face scrunches up as tears fill his eyes, “baby, you’re pregnant?” He drops the shoes and moves closer to you, his hands holding your face waiting for you to say something.

“Yes, I’m pregnant,” You sniffle with a smile, reaching to wipe your husband's tears. Before you know it, he jumps up, fist bumps the air, and starts screaming.

“Fuck yes!” He shouts to the air as he runs around the house as you burst out laughing, “I’m going to be a dad, oh my fucking god!” He runs back to pick you up from the carpet, smashing his lips on yours, spinning around.

“You’re going to be a mommy, you’re going to be such an amazing mom,” Jungkook says between each kiss he leaves all over your face, making you giggle. You felt stupid for even worrying in the first place how he would react.

“I think it’s going to be a boy,” Jungkook sets you down, “Baby, it’s been two days since I found out,” You say,

“You knew for two days and you didn’t tell me?” He gasps dramatically, “I was thinking about how to tell you,” you reassure him, which he only nods, giving you a big fat kiss.

“Do you think it’s too soon to buy his crib right now?” Jungkook asks enthusiastically.

“Jeon..” you give him a look, “yes it’s too early and don’t call it ‘he,’ we don’t know what it might be,” you say, before getting on your tiptoes, leaving a kiss on his lips, leaving him in the living room making your way to the kitchen.

“You just called him and ‘it,’ that's so much worse!” Jungkook argues, following behind you.

…

“Your handwriting is shit, to say the least,” you say as your husband writes on the small index card. “You have a way to flirt with me, baby, thank you so much, I love you too,” he says as he glares up at you before returning to writing on the card.

“Do you even think they’ll open the cookies?” You pop your hip out, watching your husband. “You know they only come to our house for the cookies, right? They don’t give a fuck about us,” Jungkook bites a laugh as you pout. “Well, now I don’t want to tell them shit,” you joke, staring at the words on the card.

“Do you even think they’ll understand that? They’re a little slow,” Jungkook wraps his hand over your shoulder, messing up your perfectly curled hair. “Um, they'll figure it out, they got a Joonie to help them,” you shrug before stealing a cookie from the packet and running off.

“I’m so hungry,” Lora says, her hand on her stomach as if that would silence the growling happening inside.

“There are cookies on the counter,” you point to the kitchen, which Jungkook smirks at you.

With that, everyone stands up, dashing to the kitchen, acting like they never had a cookie in their life. You truly had no idea how all of you became obsessed with chocolate chip cookies; all of your guys' houses have a bunch of packages lying everywhere to eat. It was common and normal for all of you; for others, it might seem bizarre seeing grown adults fight over cookies.

“I swear cookies taste so much better in Kook's house,” Jimin rants as he watches Hoseok open the bag, stopping in his tracks as he reads the note. Lora and Ari try reaching in for a cookie, completely ignoring the note but getting swatted away by Namjoon.

“Y/n is pregnant!” Namjoon shouts, which sends everyone's mouths hanging open. “You’re fucking joking!” Seokjin gasps as he runs towards you and Jungkook, embracing you in a tight hug.

“Oh my god, they really got down to business,” Taehyung says, getting a swat from Lora who’s glaring at him before pointing her eyes at Jiho beside her. “Am I the only one who doesn’t get the note?” Jimin says as he reads the card, as everyone congratulates and hugs you and Jungkook.

“Eat up, mommy Y/n doesn’t want to be the only one with a belly, love baby!” Jimin reads the card, holding it up in the air after he’s done reading it.

“I told you someone was not going to know what it meant,” Jungkook whispers into your ear, only for you to hear, which makes you chuckle under your breath.

“You’re just mad I had to explain it to you,” you whisper back, which gets you a kiss on your cheek.

[daisymbin]

do you still love me? (I still love you) - choi seungcheol

warnings: mentions of insecurity, slight use of profanities, car accident, hospital, mentions of a needle (IV drip) & mention of anxiety attack.

pairing: choi seungcheol x female reader (use of she)

genre: exes to lovers, angst-ish, happy ending

word count: 2.3k

a/n: wanted to write for wonwoo but lollapalooza choi seungcheol won't let me, he is stuck and imprinted on my brain fr. I will do anything for that man....also this fic is loosely inspired by seventeen's happy ending.

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“what? no! don't call him! are you crazy?” your hands frantically reached out to grab seungkwan at his hand that was holding his phone. “crazy? who's the one being crazy here? I can't believe this happened and you didn't even think to call me, if i hadn't call and asked to hang out I wouldn't even have known you'd gotten into an accident. are YOU crazy?? you just plan on lying on this hospital bed waiting to recover alone??” seungkwan whisper-shouted at you. “seungkwan please we already broke up, I don't want to bother him or give him any more burdens. besides, I don't even know if he will still care and to be honest, I don't want to know. I don't want to find out that he doesn't anymore so just let me live with my what ifs.” it's true, you'd rather not find out that he's moved on and doesn't care anymore than to know for sure that he doesn't care anymore. you don't think you have it in you to bare another heartbreak.

“you do know that he is still madly in love with you and that he asks me about you everyday still right? he is literally going to cuss me out if he finds out you're hurt and I didn't tell him. I don't even know why you broke up with him in the first place, you were both so good together!” seungkwan's words only filled your heart with more regret. you had broken up with seungcheol a little over 2 months ago but you both decided to stay friends for the sake of the boys. you had all been friends for too long, too many years to let them all go. seungkwan has been your best friend for over a decade and so was he with the boys, it was inevitable that you'd run into each other even if you tried to avoid him or them so this was your compromise.

it wasn't decided easily of course. when you first broke up, you had tried your hardest to avoid seungcheol at all costs, if he was going to be at a hangout, dinner or lunch, you would stop yourself from going bu seungcheol was persistent; begging that you'd at least be friends for the sake of the friend group & for his own sake as well, he couldn't stand not being able to see you or hear from you for too long. why the break up? to put it simply: you were insecure but that was just an understatement. every date you went on with him, every time you went out in public with him, pictures would inevitably find its way online. the comments were sweet, well most of them. for the rest? they were not so good & they started to eat at you everyday. you started to feel like you weren't good enough for him & that he could choose anyone and I mean anyone other than you, you just can't help but feel like he was settling for less with you. & slowly, this small insecurity grew so big that you started to distant yourself from him, avoid his hugs, his touches. when seungcheol finally had enough & asked you what was going on, you had decided on a whim to simply lie to him & told him you fell out of love with him.

you still remember the look of hurt that he had on his face that day and it haunts you every night before you close your eyes. almost immediately, you had wanted to take back what you had said, tell him whats really going on, you had so badly wanted to hug him so tight and to kiss the hurt away and yet, you didnt have it in you to continue being less for him when he deserved so much more.

“seungkwan you know why, just stop please just don't call him. it's just a small accident, I'll be fine once my leg heals.” you tried your absolute hardest to assure him, to convince and persuade seungkwan, but he's your best friend afterall. he knows you're not okay. “it's not just a small accident! you literally fractured your foot in a car accident and you have 3 stitches on your arm! you can't walk that's for damn sure, what, are you just going to not let any of our friends visit you for i don't know a few months? and not come to dinner and not expect anyone to ask about you? you know i can't lie for shit.”

“just… just tell them I left the country for a bit. for travelling or something I dont know just make something believable up. Just don't call him, I don't want him to see me like this. god, I look and sound like a loser. I don't want seungcheol to-”

the door to your ward swang open so hard a loud thud rang from the wall. “don't want me to what?” seungcheol asked as he panted; trying to catch his breath. your eyes widen at the sound of his voice, “cheol…what…” it seems for a minute, your brain had shut down., nothing was coming out of your mouth. “h-hyung,” seungkwan who was as shocked as you are, stuttered. “what are you doing here?” seungkwan had voiced his question for you. “y/n's hurt. you're hurt.” seungcheol answers as he looks back at you. seungkwan watched your face, clearly still shocked and struggling, “y/n is fine, she's just-”

“she doesn't look fine with a fucking needle up her arm. why didn't you call me?” you couldn't tell if seungcheol's question was for you or for seungkwan but you decided to speak anyway, “cheol-ah I'm fine, i-i just fell down the stairs.” what a stupid fucking excuse seungkwan thought to himself. what happened to making up something believable??? seungkwan tried to hide his face of unamusement. “you fell down the stairs?” this time seungcheol fixed his squinted eyes on you scrutinisingly. his right eyebrow raised in disbelief and he started walking closer to your hospital bed. while you tried to hide your casted foot out of sight as much as possible. “yeah I just, I tripped over my foot and fell down the stairs, just had a few cuts here and there and some stitches. no biggie.” you tried to sound as lighthearted and careful as much as you could while trying your best to hide the pain from having to move your foot out of sight.

“don't move, god, the hospital called and said you've gotten into a car accident, you still have me as your emergency contact.” oh. oh. well fuck. seungkwan sensed the already existing tension rising rapidly and decided it's best to go, “okaaay I should probably go and let you have some rest-” seungkwan almost feels invisible in the way seungcheol keeps disregarding his words and interrupting him, “why'd you not tell me? is this fun to you? the same way you fell out of love with me and just didn't tell me until I asked? why do I always have to find out things in the worst way possible?” seungcheol knows he's being harsh but he doesnt mean to, he's just so angry and hurt. so much anger in him towards himself for not being better for you. how bad must he have been, how much was he lacking for you to fall out of love with him? is it work? but he did try to make time for you, bringing you out for dates but you would reject those dates, movie dates at home were also always getting cut short, you no longer wanted to fall asleep on him shoulder or lap, you just went your way to the bedroom after announcing you're tired even before the halfway mark of the movie. was he doing something wrong? there's so much he still hasn't gotten the chance to ask you before you walked out on him.

and now seungkwan, seungkwan was a lot of things but patience? that man has very limited patience and he definitely doesn't have patience for the way seungcheol is speaking to you now. he has had enough of you running away from seungcheol when you still clearly have feelings for him. “hyung,” seungkwan reached for seungcheol's wrist, trying to get his attention. “come with me.” he started tugging and pulling at seungcheol's arm, dragging him out the ward. “she got into a car accident because she was having an anxiety attack because our song was playing on the car radio…your voice.. anyway…she's still in love with you.” seungkwan let out a deep breath he didnt know he was holding, he watches as seungcheol's eyes widen and dilate in shock, “im not trying to butt in your relationship with her or take her side but…just go easy on her. she's- just talk to her, give her some time, she'll open up to you again. you know what she's like when she wants to be stubborn. I'm going to get going, tell her bye for me.”

for the next 5 minutes, seungcheol stood by the door with his back slumped against the wall, replaying the words seungkwan had said to him. you still love him? you're still in love with him? how? but didn't you… didn't you tell him you don't anymore? if you still love him, why did you say that? he gently opened the door to your ward this time, making his way to you. he pulled the vacant chair closer to your bed before taking a seat, “cheol-ah, you don't have to stay here, i was just about to get some sleep anyway, im good on my own. I know you're busy-” “do you still love me?” the room turned so silent you swear you could hear if a pin were to drop on the floor. when you said nothing, he continued, “I have so many questions but i-i just need to know if you still love me... do you know how much I missed you?” tears you were so badly trying to hold back only cascaded down your cheeks, betraying you. both his hands come up to cup your delicate face inbetween his hands, both his thumbs working to wipe your tears away, “don't cry, pretty. you're breaking my heart.” his own voice cracks and his own tears starts showing themself around his brown orbs but you watch as he blinks them away. “tell me you love me." he whispered so quietly, your head now facing down, eyes closed as you start sobbing. “i can't cheol…if I tell you, if I tell you I love you I don't think I can let you go again.” the room fills itself with the sound of your sniffing and crying.

“you don't have to let me go, just tell me you love me and I won't let go of you, not again.” he placed a gentle kiss at the top of your head, bringing your face to his chest as he hugs you silently. “but cheol,” seungcheol doesn't think he can take it anymore if he hears you call him cheol one more time, he's growing putty and puttier in your presence. “yes, sweetheart?” he asked as he started stroking your hair. “im nobody and you're…you. we’re so different and we’re of two different worlds. you're doing so good in life and you're so handsome and im just…” his heart only breaks further at your words, “you're beautiful. you're the most beautiful person my eyes has ever laid on. you have always been beautiful to me and you still are. & we’re not that different, my love, even if we are, isn't that what we both love about us? so different yet so similar. you have qualities I lack and we compliment each other so well, no?” seungcheol pulled away slightly only to look into the eyes he had missed so much. “if there's somewhere or something im lacking at, tell me so I can be better for you.” he assured you again. “you're not lacking at anything at all cheol.” seungcheol notes how this is the loudest and clearest you've spoken since he's gotten here and he doesn't miss a beat when he says “you're not lacking either, you're doing so good my love. I wouldn't change anything about you, you know that? I love you just as you are, everything about you, I love you at your best and I love you just the same at your worst times. you just need to let me in when you have bad thoughts, let me love and reassure you hm? can you do that for me?” he asked as he patted at your head gently again. you had merely nodded lightly & said “im sorry cheol.” with more tears running down your cheeks before he spoke again, “it's not your fault, princess. I'm sorry I didn't notice it back then, it's my fault. I'm sorry.” a light peck of a chaste kiss placed on your cheek as you shook your head in disagreement, “it’s not your fault cheol.” cheol cheol cheol he couldn't take it anymore; bringing your face closer to his, he looks into your eyes again, asking for permission, at the small nod of your head, you fluttered your eyes close and he wasted no time in bringing his lips to yours gently, afraid of hurting you. his heart overwhelms in love for you, lips and tongue exploring each other in lost familiarity, oh how much you both missed each other.

“you still haven't answered me, princess.” another kiss to your forehead this time, “do you still love me?” his eyes searched yours again, looking for a hint of anything. you caught him by surprise when you pulled him in for another kiss, “I still love you. I love you, cheol, so much."

[vampiresbloodx]

livin' a dream.

Ellie williams x reader x Abby Anderson.

word count: 910

warnings: smut, vaginal fingering, f/f/f threesome, oral s*x, eating out, face riding, masturbation, alcohol mentioned and drugs.

Ellie wasn’t feeling it. 

The club was too damn loud for her liking, too many people rubbing against each other. Yes, she did agree to this, to go out with Jesse and Dina and whoever else they were inviting. Yet she finds herself overstimulated, not having fun, like how the others are in their own world. 

She usually would be up to party, smoke a joint, get drunk, and here she is standing in the corner of the room drinking alone. 

Pathetic, really. 

She just wasn't in the mood. 

Everything around her was just annoying her, no matter what it could be. ‘Must be that time of the month’ Jesse had joked about, which earned him a smack on the shoulder. 

Dina had noticed her being in an odd mood all day, she wasn’t sure what to do, or how to help, so, she took them all out partying. 

At first it seemed fun, she liked it, spending time with her mates, drinking, getting high, so why the hell was she all by herself?. 

She was going to head home, when a fucker decided to bump into her and spill his booze all over her shirt, she cussed him out but he was too damn out of it to even care, she hurried off to the bathroom, wherever that was, she wasn’t paying attention. 

She opened the door to what she thought was the bathroom but mistakenly was a room of sorts in this type of night club, maybe a private room to hook up in, and she was right, in front of her she was seeing a sight she’d never thought she would ever see. You, her crush of the last few months ever since she laid her eyes on you, and fucking Abby Anderson, a girl she barley got along with is on her knees, eating you out as you’re a moaning mess. 

Fuck, she was mad, and turned on at the same time. She wanted to fight someone, anyone, she was still pissed about the guy from earlier, she doesn’t want to look away. 

“If you’re going to watch close the fucking door, Williams” Abby spoke, her voice startling her. So this wasn’t a dream. 

She closed the door. 

You hadn’t even noticed her yet, to caught up in the way Abby was fucking you so good, god, Ellie could cum at the sight, watching your face contort into pleasure, the amount of times she’s fingered herself at the thought of you, wondering what’d you would sound like, taste like, look when you’re being fucked. 

She’s living a dream. 

Ellie felt herself getting wetter by the second, as she licked her lips, unsure of what to do she ended up sitting on a chair by Abby, watching the scene unfold like it was a damn porno. 

You just looked so pretty, Abby’s chin messy with your juices that she wanted so badly to lick off, how focused Abby was on you, she was giving it her all, eating you out like it was her last meal on this earth. 

“Abby- god” you cried out, whimpering as you rolled your hips on her face, your moans and cries getting louder, with the music drowning it out, she was almost sure someone could hear if they walked by this room. “Abby, Abby-” 

You were practically chanting her name, she wanted to hear you scream hers now. 

Abby looked towards her, gesturing her hand for her to come sit by her, Ellie followed. 

Ellie felt Abby grab her hand, she didn’t flinch or pull away, letting Abby touch her, Ellie felt like she was on cloud nine, her heart beating so fast she was worried it’d rip out of her damn chest. 

Abby grinned at her, guiding her hand towards your pussy, still soaking wet, Ellie bit her lip, touching your clit sending a chill down her spine as her mouth opened, you whined. 

Abby nodded at her, she breathed in and out, slipping in her finger inside of your cunt, she made a noise, surprised by how wet you are, your juices dripping down her hand. She kept pushing in and out, fucking you slowly then she got a steady pace, you cried out, you were in heaven. 

So was she. So was Abby. 

Ellie looked to her side, she saw Abby touching herself, causing her to moan, from the way your pussy clenched around her finger, that made her fuck you faster, pumping in harder. 

She watched Abby come down from her high, still in disbelief she watched her get off, it was hot. She didn’t mind it. Abby sat up again, staring into Ellie’s eyes with a smile as Ellie watched her tongue touch your swollen clit as she licked on it. 

You were so lost in everything that was happening to you, it felt so so good, you didn’t want it to stop, not once. Your orgasm hitting you hard as your mouth opened with a sweet cry, your back arching of the bed, your body going limp as you still felt a finger pumping inside of you and a tongue on your clit.

Your eyes opened, expecting to see Abby, but in your dazed post orgasm head space, you saw Ellie. 

Abby made eye contact with you, smiling, she managed to make Ellie join you two, finally, your dream coming true. 

You’ve never wanted anything more than this. 

You’d definitely have to return the favour.

[macfrog]

twin flame sex on fire chapter eleven

thank you all for being so patient and kind, and loving this story no matter how terribly long i take with it. anyway, here's wonderwall. (shout out to @bageldaddy who saved this on numerous occasions lmao)

pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader

summary: doing it with a broken heart is harder than it looks.

warnings: age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), workplace relationship, imbalance of power dynamic, reader's a Real Tough Kid she can (not) Handle Her Shit, kale!!!!!!, alcohol consumption, cursing, soft!joel, fluff and angst. angst angst angst angst

word count: 7.7k

series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 💚

Five days lasts a year.

So it feels, anyway, when you spot Martha from the corner of your eye – pulling her coat on and hooking her purse over her shoulder. She tucks her peroxide blonde layers behind her ears, gives one last check of her makeup in a compact mirror, and looks up.

“You coming?”

It’s five thirty on Friday. You haven’t said more than two words to Joel since you walked out on him, Monday morning.

She knows by now – Martha. Or at least, she has a pretty good idea.

You haven’t told her, as if you’d even be able to begin explaining it all. But she pieced it together by herself, didn’t she? You’re hardly subtle. She figured you out less than five minutes after you stormed out of his office, fists balled and face tight with rage.

She says your name, and the sound is muffled. Distorted by the sour backwash of that feeling: the hot temper which dissipated so quickly into an ache behind your ribs all day.

You finally look up. “Huh?”

She fixes the collar on her trench coat. Flattens her thin, merlot lips and says, “Let’s go, kid. It’s been a long week.”

And that, you think, might just be the understatement of the fucking year.

She slips her arm through yours in the elevator, and you don’t protest. It’s not like she’d let you go even if you tried to shake her off – but there’s a comfort to it. Something sweet; soft and motherly. Martha’s not often this affectionate.

You want to slot your cheek on her shoulder. Ask her how long her worst heartbreak lasted. Ask if that’s even what this is, if you can give a two-month hurricane of sex and secrets enough power to split you open this badly.

Ask her how long until the gnawing in your chest eases. How long until you’re finally able to look at him again, without wanting to cuss him out – or run into his arms.

But you stare ahead, swaying with the dropping elevator, wrap your arms tight around yourself and swallow shallow breaths of her rosy perfume.

Your reflection splits in two, pulled apart by the rumble of the doors. Something akin to a growl from between Martha’s teeth.

The skeleton of the lobby sears behind your eyes, every surface bleeding gold. Silver arrows of rain pelt against the windows, slicing through the blazing sunlight. Dark figures shake umbrellas open at the doors; others yank their collars over their heads as they run to cars.

A gaggle of square suits separates to let you pass, black material shining and soaked through. Nodding to both of you, your names dripping from their lips as they load into the elevator.

Under the canopy outside, Martha hoists her purse over her head.

“Monday then?” she yells over the drumming rain. And without waiting for an answer – because she isn’t so much asking as she is telling – she totters off through the drizzle towards Alan’s Volvo.

One last glance over her shoulder, a wink as her six-inch heels swing into the car. Like a Bond girl, off to wrangle her preteen into eating his vegetables.

You call a cab, leaning against the building to watch the clouds roll overhead.

Two words. That’s all you’ve managed to force over your tongue.

Sure and okay. Both uttered between teeth, as though your body might be trying to hold them back. Mundane and fucking meaningless; pushing by everything else you want so desperately for Joel to hear. How could you? Why would you? I think I hate you, you know that?

I hate you and I miss you so much that it makes me hate you all over again for it.

He’s doing as you asked, at least. He’s following your rules. No looking, no touching, no talking.

To a point.

He is still talking – saying a little more to you than you are to him. You’re allowing it, given that he is still your boss and they’re only ever boss things to say. Schedule this meeting, look out that old file. Pick up his drycleaning when it’s mid-afternoon and he spots your boredom from across the office.

But he never comes near.

Not anymore.

He doesn’t brush by, stealing a giggle when his elbow nudges your waist. He doesn’t order you lunch, then wait until you’re sat opposite him in his office to eat together.

He doesn’t kiss you as soon as the elevator doors close. He doesn’t perch on the edge of your desk to steal snacks and gossip with you and Martha. He doesn’t play with your hand, he doesn’t hold you by the hips, he doesn’t whisper dirty jokes and sweet nothings in your ear.

He keeps his distance. He acts like your boss again.

And – Jesus. You’ve never wanted to hate him so much in your life.

“Waitin’ for a cab?”

“Shit –” You twirl, rain flicking from the tail of your coat.

Joel takes your arm steady. His grip is so familiar, so safe you feel yourself melting into it already. “Easy, easy,” he says, his voice much the same. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you there.”

“You didn’t, you…Yeah,” you sigh, “I guess you did. What did you say?”

He smiles. It’s weak, humored, but completely unsure. “I just asked if you’re waiting for a cab.

And goddamn it, just the sight of him this close thaws you from the inside out. It’s like warmth against the wound, softening you like the creases by the corners of his eyes.

“Yeah,” you start, “I just called one. Figure there’s traffic.” You gesture to the bodies scurrying down towards yellow cabs.

Joel tosses his thumb over his shoulder, pointing to the sleek Rolls by the curb. The rain bounces off its roof. “Rand can take you, if you like. Save you waitin’.”

“Oh, no. No, I’m good, thanks.”

“I’ll take your cab,” he clarifies. “I’ll take the cab; Rand can take you home.”

“Really, Joel,” you reply, hugging your purse. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay. Thank you.”

He nods, looking down. There was – there is – nothing he wants more than to look out for you. There’s probably nothing that stings more right now, than the fact you won’t let him.

He makes to leave, then hesitates. Hands in his pockets, he turns back and says, “You ever need anything, just let me know. Alright?”

Your lips flatten. “Mhm.”

“I mean it.”

“I know you do.”

“Alright,” he says. “Okay. I’ll see you Monday.”

He strides off towards the Rolls. So much cooler than the suits scrambling around him; dipping his head as he slides into the backseat, fixing his tie before he pulls the door closed.

The car doesn’t move until yours arrives. Until he’s seen you run over, settle in the backseat. Rand pulls out behind as your driver sets off; turns in the opposite direction at the first set of traffic lights.

You watch as it shrinks into a speck from the back window, wondering if Joel’s watching you, too.

The driver tuts and shakes his head. He flicks his fingers to the windshield, some comment about this goddamn rain and ain’t let up for five goddamn days.

You fish your phone from your pocket, turning the weight of it over in your hands like turning the dilemma in your mind. Thinking up something like, Hey, I was gonna order food in tonight. Wanna come over?

Something like, Or not, if you don’t feel like it.

Sorry, I don’t even know why I’m –

The screen lights.

Your heart jumps to your throat.

The driver rambles on, “…said it’d dry by Wednesday – well, you can’t trust a damn one of ‘em…”

Your eyes are glued to the name onscreen.

Joel headers the first notification. And the second. A text, then an email.

Your thumbs hover over the messages for a few seconds, vision blurring around his name. Frantic circles while you decide whether or not you actually want to read them. But it gets the better of you – morbid curiosity – and you tap on the text.

As quickly as it leapt, your heart plummets.

Forwarded Jean-Marc’s email, in case you need it. Have a good weekend.

Three, four, five times. You read over it five fucking times before it sinks in. Switch to your emails, where Joel Miller sits proudly at the top of the list.

“Why are you…?” you mumble, blinking at the screen. Salt stings across your waterline. “You – you fucking…”

It boils through your veins, pools in the pit of your stomach. That ache winds again, twisting around your ribcage.

Anger.

Anger, and…something much worse.

You bite hard on your lip, refusing to let the tears spill over. Your heart hammers against your chest. Your fist balls, like tightening around the leash of a misbehaving dog, pulling it back into place.

Your voice is barely a whisper.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Steam slowly swallows your silhouette whole. In the mirror, you shake the shell of the office from your shoulders, watching as she disappears entirely behind the heated glass. Relieved just to see her go.

You sob under the scorching stream until your skin prunes and your head throbs. You order in food and burrow deep in your couch to pick at it.

Drowning in the same hoodie he once pulled over himself – his landscape of a body, strong as rock and soft as the earth. The material unwashed, still smelling of mint and men’s cologne.

You thumb through the chick flicks on offer: all perfect grins and power couples; the commercial dream that is a two-tone poster with a quirky, conversational title. And then, worse: the breakup movies.

Women flat-out in bed, picking from a tray of chocolates. Two-day pajamas and three-day bedhead. Slumber parties to burn love letters and gauge out their exes’ eyes in photographs, swear themselves off men and then down heavy cocktails until they puke.

Then – the epiphany. Right before some pop rock track from the noughties sends the heroine off into the sunset. The I’m better off without him, or Maybe he wasn’t so bad moment.

Love truly exists, after all. Roll end credits.

“Oh, fuck off,” you mumble, chewing wetly on popcorn. “You’re all bullshit, anyways.”

Maybe you’re just fucking miserable. You liked the bullshit, two weeks ago.

Blake Carter – he was chocolates in bed and feminist handshakes. He was one night at your mom’s, one night at your best friend’s, then back in your old place before the week was out.

This is different. It’s like a sickness.

Rotting from the inside out. Deep in your chest, a fierce fever spreading from the split, the empty cage of ribs. An anxiety which gathers and festers in the barren corners, like teetering along a wire with no idea how high the drop really is – only that you’re not going to make the landing.

How were you ever going to make the landing, letting go of his hand like that?

You manage three mouthfuls of a greasy hamburger, then shove the bags across the coffee table. Too sick and too unsettled to eat without feeling it roll around your stomach in a furious tide.

You ever need anything, just let me know.

Asking for help is not something you do. Not since you were sixteen, and even before then. There is nothing – nothing, you swore – a man could offer you that you couldn’t go find yourself.

But then – then, you found someone who wasn’t looking for you to ask. Didn’t want or expect you to need him for anything, only wanted you to know that he was around if you ever did. Being near you was all he ever really gave a shit about.

You found someone who was on your tail every time you looked back. All your running, all the times you swore you wouldn’t let him catch you. And there you were – turning to make sure he was still trying.

He was. He was always trying. He’s the closest anyone ever came to proving you wrong.

And now…he’s letting you go.

If you had the energy to laugh, you’d laugh. You’d march back into the bathroom and wait for your reflection to clear again, just to point your finger right in her face.

The same woman who walked away from Blake Carter and his heirloom diamond ring; from Sundays forcing down quiche Lorraine at his parents’ house, and pretending to enjoy bouncing his nephew on your knee.

The same woman who left that diamond ring on his bedside table, packed a bag full of clothes, and fled the apartment before he could plead anymore.

The same woman who had seen the entire thing as a bird breaking free from her cage, in the end.

You understand it now.

You spend long enough in that cage, long enough planted on your feet – you forget how to use your wings.

The weekend is slow and sleepless.

Your sheets wind up a twisted mess each night. Kicked to the foot of the bed, cocooned back around your shoulders, then whipped from your body again when you feel too hot, too smothered.

He’s all over your apartment. Dozing in the reflection of the TV screen, bass voice reverberating off each wall, kisses in the clinking of mugs.

Each night, you stare blankly at the ceiling. Sleep becomes a tide you float on the surface of, pooling across your stomach and only ever wetting to your ears. Face skyward, bone dry. Desperately waiting for a wave that never intends on turning.

Come Monday, you’re running on something like four hours sleep and as many coffees.

Martha recognizes it instantly, the way she fawns. She hasn’t let up all day. Not since you walked in this morning, looking like shit and avoiding Joel’s office at all costs. She’s spent more time staring, delivering snacks, making sickly-sweet conversation that hurts your teeth – than she has actually working.

And it was touching. Until ten o’clock.

Joel has two assistants for good fucking reason, it turns out.

“I do not understand a goddamn word I’m reading…” Martha flips the Cosmo she stole from you last week. “The hell is a retrograde?”

Your head tilts. “Do you even know which sign you are?”

Her thin, penciled brows quirk. “Taurus, but I don’t like the way this bull’s lookin’ at me.”

She wiggles her mouse before the monitor switches off, then prods a shard of cucumber with her fork. The rain scatters across the window at her back, dragging golden shadows down her blazer.

“Did you eat today?” she asks.

“Mhm,” you lie, “This morning. Before you came in.”

She chews suspiciously. “Liar.” She offers you the salad bowl. “Eat.”

“Martha,” you push it away, “I’m not –”

“I don’t care whether you’re hungry.”

She thrusts the tub towards you, cherry tomatoes trembling.

“Martha.”

“Eat.”

“I’m not gonna eat your salad, will you stop –?”

“One bite. Just one.”

“I don’t even like –”

She’s holding out a forkful. “Eat the damn –”

“Get a drink with me.”

She halts, greens dangling in front of your face. Her expression twists, loosens, and then twists into bewilderment again. “Pardon me?”

You sigh, deflating into the leather. “Stop tryna force feed me salad, and get a drink with me.”

“On a Monday?” She scoffs. “What’s the occasion?”

“I don’t…I don’t have one,” you groan, pushing to your feet. “At least, not a good one. I just need something a little stronger than kale.”

An all too familiar click over your shoulder plucks her attention. Her eyes flash across the room.

She tracks Joel from his office over to the water cooler, a forced smile when he must glance up. Her eyes snap back to yours at the trickle of water into his mug.

Please? you mouth, and she grumbles.

“Joel?”

His voice is strained; he’s bending at the cooler. “Yep?”

Martha links her arm through yours and forces you to turn. “You mind if we take a long lunch? We were thinking of trying that wine bar up by the golf course.”

Joel lingers on the other side of the office, sipping from his mug. He’s almost unrecognizable: no bear left in him. Declawed, toothless. Dark crescents like the shadows of a bruise beneath his eyes, the ghosts of smile lines on his cheeks.

“Wine bar?” he asks. “Didn’t even know there was one up that way.”

“It’s new,” Martha says, popping the lid back on her salad bowl. “Alan told me about it. Says it costs an arm and a leg, but apparently, it’s worth it.”

He wanders over – hesitant, like approaching the desk of a wild animal. You can feel the heat of his stare on you when he replies, “’s nice up that way. Take the afternoon. You need a ride?”

“All good,” Martha chirps. She squeezes your arm. “I’ll go call a cab.”

She drapes your coat over your shoulders, then twirls off in the direction of the elevator. A girlish little strut, quietly pleased with herself.

She’s deliberately leaving you stranded. Both of you.

Joel steps back when you move. His breath catches in his throat. He slips a hand in one pocket, and says, “Be nice to have a relaxing afternoon.”

“Yep,” you choke, elbow brushing against his. “Nice to have some girl time, I guess.”

“Oh,” he sniffs, “I was talking about me. Empty office, two of you off my ass. Peace and quiet.”

You smile, feeling the weight of him rock gently against your side. “Hilarious,” you murmur, glancing up at him.

He stares straight ahead, sunlight catching rare amber in his eyes. Smiling to himself, calm and content, he says, “Have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow,” and turns back for his office.

Your chest twinges as he closes the door behind him. A tight fist around your vocal cords.

“See you tomorrow, Joel.”

Oasis is a trendy little bar out west, which looks anything but its namesake. All exposed brick and smirk of silver pipework, industrially rustic and injected with the silky scent of wine and wealth.

Exactly the type of place you’d go to get over your millionaire ex.

Martha slinks in like she’s made of the place. Coat loose over her arm, hips swaying and heels clicking. She hops onto a stool at the bar, drums her glossy nails on the varnished wood.

You settle awkwardly into the stool beside her, prodding at what turns out to be a very real cactus. You jump at the sharp prick.

A waiter behind the bar clocks you, and laughs to himself.

“Nice, huh?” Martha asks, scanning the place. The low-hanging lights, the spill of foliage from the rafters. She seems to fit into it a whole lot better than you do.

“Sure,” you mumble around your fingertip, “Are you buying?”

She rolls her eyes. “You asked me out, remember?”

“I was thinking some two-for-one cocktails dive, not the fucking Ritz, Martha.”

“Call it a pick-me-up,” she says, accepting a menu from the waiter. “We’re treating ourselves.”

You pinch your fingertip, watching a scarlet bead bloom from the wound. A satisfying sort of pain, a tender break your hands won’t stay away from. You squeeze until it balloons into a trembling bubble of blood, then swipe the cut clean. Squeeze, then swipe.

Martha orders some vino she says she’s always wanted to try. Two glasses, because when the waiter looks to you to take your order, you’re still staring at your bloody finger.

He slides the drinks over and smiles politely, eyes daring to meet yours only twice. He’s handsome: chiseled jawline and the smudge of a dimple on one cheek. Chin speckled with stubble, shorter and blonder than you’d like.

Your fingertip throbs, and you look down to find it closed in your fist. You take a gulp of wine.

Martha smacks her lips and hums. “Not half bad,” she says, and then slots her glass next to yours. “Alright,” she clasps her hands, “What is it? What’s been goin’ on?”

You spin the base of your glass, staring at the swirl of honeysuckle. “I just needed some air and…wine.”

She buys it about as much as you do.

“Only one thing in the world that makes me need air and wine,” she says. “A man.”

A laugh flutters from your chest, as if by accident. As natural as the sun splitting the clouds. No thinking about it, no forcing it.

Either the expensive alcohol works fast – or Martha does.

She lifts her nose, like sniffing out the truth. “Come on, no bullshit. Why’d you ask me to get a drink?”

It rolls from one shoulder to the other in a tired shrug. You’ve no fucking idea why you asked her to get a drink.

The office was becoming claustrophobic, bursting with the grief of it all. Joel was nowhere to be seen and yet everywhere you looked. Here’s the wall he’d kissed you against, there’s the spot you’d first shaken hands.

Here’s all of it, really: the shame and the anger and the heartbreak all knotted together. Holding yourself back from doodling hearts on his sticky note messages, busying yourself with shredding instead of nosing around his office.

No bullshit, you were about to scream. Martha’s just the first person you laid eyes on.

Her and her fucking kale.

“Because,” you summarize, “I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing anymore.”

Her eyes are wide, serious. She’s hooked already. “With Joel?” she asks, sipping.

“With any of it,” you reply. And then, hearing her properly: “What do you know about me and Joel?”

She swallows quickly. “He hasn’t told me a word, I swear,” she says, “but I wasn’t born yesterday. Paris was always a solo trip, darling.”

You massage your forehead, grumbling into your palms. “Jesus Christ,” you whisper. There’s a heavy ache blooming behind your eyes.

Martha smiles. “I thought it was sweet. He’s never been serious enough about anyone to take ‘em over there with him. But,” her eyes ladder down your figure, “I’m guessing it didn’t work out.”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Okay,” she squints, reading you, “And are we relieved? Are we hurt? Angry?”

“We are four and a half coffees Monday morning, and a wine bar Monday afternoon.”

“Got it,” she says, face stony. “That little shit. You need me to yell at ‘im?”

You lift your wine, shake your head. “I did enough yelling at him last week,” you admit. “It wasn’t just him, anyways. He fucked up, but it was the both of us.”

Martha nods, and you both take a long drink.

She taps her nails against the swell of her glass. “I thought you two were really great together,” she says – polite, pensive.

The least Martha you’ve ever heard her.

“You did?”

She nods. “You just always had this camaraderie. It was palpable. From the moment he met you, he was different. Better for it. I don’t know when you were…whatever you were, but –” she takes a deep breath, looking off past you, “– I know I liked it when you were.”

It’s not something you ever considered, even in the thick of it. What it might look like from outside, this little love affair: promises whispered into coffee mugs and glances stolen from behind paperwork.

It was never a secret – at least, not one either of you were trying to keep. It was just…yours. You and Joel. Two names etched at the bottom of a birthday card, no room for anyone else’s.

And if anyone did find out – Martha, Rand, Jean-fucking-Marc – they felt more like collateral. Just the landscape, the backdrop for your fated meteoric crash down to Earth.

God, it felt good to fall.

Martha sighs, dabbing a knuckle at the corner of her lips. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” she says, gently. “I’m sorry things didn’t turn out the way you hoped.”

Your eyes drift across the room. The waiter pours a deep red wine for a silver-haired couple over by the window. The man’s thumb surfs back and forth across his wife’s knuckles, dipping to circle the ring on her third finger.

The split in your skin opens again, your nail pressing clumsily into your finger. A tiny wave of pain rocks through the tip.

“Yeah, well,” you sniff, “Shit happens, right?”

“Sure does,” she says, and holds her glass out.

You cheers, the clink piercing the bumbling jazz in the air. The wine thrashes against the side of the glass, and you gulp back a sour mouthful.

“He sent me an offer for a job in Paris,” you confess into your drink. “That’s what our fight was about – the fact he didn’t want me to go. Then on Friday, he sent it anyway.”

“Paris?” Martha straightens in her chair. It’s easy to tell her, easy to pretend it’s some third-floor gossip when she reacts the same way. “That’s big,” she says. “Are you gonna go for it?”

“No,” you admit. “It’s with that guy Jean-Marc.”

Her upper lip curls, a bend of burgundy. “You can do better.”

“I guess,” you frown, “if I were looking.”

“You’re not looking?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

It twists in your throat. A million answers which fizzle into nothing at all on your tongue. Because because because –

“Who would read all of Joel’s boring emails?” It comes with a smirk, which drops as quickly as you realize Martha’s expression isn’t shifting.

“I would. And he’d find a replacement for you eventually. Not half as good, but…”

“Ha,” you stare at her, “Funny.”

“I’m not kidding. “I’m not,” she adds, when you roll your eyes. “It’s about damn time you realized you’re head and shoulders above all this.

“Maybe,” she continues, with an almost bloodthirsty interest, “Joel didn’t let on about Paris because he thinks you’re better than that, too. You don’t think he sees your potential? Hell, I do. You’re too good to be making coffee and taking minutes.”

Tell me something I don’t know, you think.

Joel’s never been quiet about how he feels about you – professionally or otherwise. He said as much in his office last week: I didn’t want to lose you. Those exact words kept you up all weekend, for crying out loud.

Sure, Joel sees something in you. Assistant, colleague, friend, not-friend. It’s not enough to stop the need you have – pinhole pupils hunting, blood jumping in your veins. Like it’d kill you to catch your breath, to shake your hackles and loosen your muscles.

Watch, watch. I can answer your questions before you’ve even come up with them. Watch, watch. I can show up early and leave late, barely pause for breath in between.

Watch, watch. I can break your heart and make it look just like mine.

You squirm under Martha’s glare.

“I don’t…I don’t even know what else I’d do,” you garble, playing with your hands. “I like this job. I’m good at this job. It’s…it’s –”

“– comfortable,” you say together.

“And that’s exactly the problem,” Martha nods, “You’ve outgrown it. You’re nothing but a monster in red bottoms now, baby – too scared to find something that fits you better in case it turns to shit. So what if it does? Is it the end of the world?”

“Feels like it right now,” you reply. She’s cloudy, blurred behind the ocean of tears teetering along your waterline. “And this is barely even a breakup, never mind failing at a career.”

She chuckles, shaking her head. “You think you’d be the first? The last? People fail at things all the damn time. Better to do it now, young as you are – little elastic band of resilience and nerve.”

“Poetic,” you scoff.

She tilts her glass and her head follows.

“Listen to me,” she says, leaning in. “Do not spend one more second paralyzed by fear. I know you’re scared. You’re supposed to be. One day, you’re going to miss the time you gave enough of a shit to feel this fear.

“It’s like electricity in your veins. Everything’s so intense, everything hurts ten times worse and feels ten times more exhilarating. You think something might bring about the end of the goddamn world, and then the sun comes up the next morning just to prove you wrong.

“And Lord almighty, you are going to get it wrong. You’ll say the wrong thing, trust the wrong feeling. You’ll make the same mistakes over and over again. But Jesus, I’d rather you blew it all to hell and at least learned somethin’, than never did it at all.

“You know what my mom would say? World’s been waitin’ on you, kid. Grab a paddle.”

Another laugh spurts from your lips, tears spilling into your mouth, a crackly, wet sniffle. “What the hell does that even mean?” you giggle.

She smiles and wipes your cheek. “Means dive in. Get your hands dirty. Fall in love, get hurt, grow the hell up. Stop standing in the way of yourself and the things you want. That electricity won’t be there forever – so use it.”

“Use it…” you echo, taking the mascara-stained tissue from her.

“Promise me,” she implores, wrapping her hands around yours, “Promise me that you will.”

It’s not just Martha asking, you know this. She’s the one staring at you like a madwoman, sure – but her plea is echoed by a littler, quieter voice.

She’s nervous, scared. A crumpled math paper in her backpack. Her whole world tipped upside down one Wednesday afternoon, soul cursed forever – or so she thought.

When you reply, it’s not Martha you see. It’s the sixteen-year-old version of yourself.

So you look her dead in the eye, and say –

“I promise.”

The world is hazy by the time you leave the bar. Vignetted, a saffron sunset seeping across the sky. Mingling with the city skyline and losing herself over the horizon.

You totter up the steps to your building and wave Martha and Alan off, twirling inside. The weight of wine heavy in your veins, pulling you from one side to the other, and still – you feel lighter, somehow.

You spent all afternoon giggling, once the heartache thawed and the alcohol kicked in. It felt nice; bubbly and nostalgic, the peachy tint of girlhood.

Swapping stories about your old, ridiculous love lives – Martha’s overall-donned boyfriend in high school, or the guy you went on two dates with last year before realizing he was the same dude one of your girlfriends had ghosted three months prior.

For a few hours on a Monday afternoon, you were fifteen again – and the worst thing that could happen was a pimple sprouting on your chin the night before picture day. All you’d ever know was the shiny film on magazine pages, reading two-week old horoscopes to see if they came true.

You slump against the side of the elevator, head spinning as it carries you home. It’s something like seven. You’re too buzzed to fall asleep, but too tipsy to do much more than roll around your apartment.

And by the time you’re back in your sweats, sunken into the couch, one very final nightcap in hand – you’re too tired to even move.

Promise me, she’d said, wildfire behind her eyes. Martha’s notorious for her talents in convincing anyone of anything, wriggling her own way out of any circumstance.

This felt different.

She’s just your colleague. At best, a passerby. Technically – going by her track record with almost everyone else in the company – she doesn’t have to take any more interest in you than the parking attendants in the basement lot do.

But she took your hand and led you out of that office without thinking, the second she understood. She bought you drink after drink, and slapped your hand away when you tried to pay. She listened to you, dried your tears, and then kicked your ass into gear.

By all standards, she was the best first date you’ve ever had.

And promise me, she’d said.

It starts as a joke. Humoring her, humoring yourself. A dare whispered to you by the tinkling of ice in your glass. Innocent curiosity, mixed with a dash of Martha’s good influence.

The perfect cocktail of chaos.

Your first online search brings up so many results that it dizzies you. Marketing executive and project coordinator, business support manager and production lead. They blur into a gray fog, a taunting swirl on your laptop screen.

“Jesus,” you mutter, mouthful of wine. “What the fuck do I…?”

Business and art. That’s what you know. One you’ve been in long enough that you reckon you could do it with your eyes closed – and the other…your little pipedream.

‘s not stupid, Joel had said, that night by the river. Not a pipedream, either.

And – fuck it, maybe you ought to listen for once. Stop standing in the way of yourself and the things you want, and all that.

You dig your knuckles into your eyes, letting the spatter of stars clear your vision, and start again.

A second search threads together a list which feels a little cleaner. A little more you. Sophisticated websites with sleek designs, smooth wording which makes it feel like you’re being sold something.

And so what, if you are? Maybe you’re looking to buy.

You click through image after image of bright offices and beaming staff, sipping sharply through your straw. Wide-eyed and slack-jawed, unsure whether the lightheaded feeling is from the rosé, or the promise of a successful career and competitive salary. Memorizing brand manifestos, learning company values like prayers passing through your hands.

It’s manic. Crazed. Like you’re stood on the brink of an abyss, thick fog kissing your ankles.

You laugh to yourself. This must be the fucking electricity.

Promise me. And what can it hurt, anyway, turning in an application form? Who says it’ll even go anywhere? They might take one look at your resume and laugh you all the way into the trashcan.

Or – they might see what Joel sees. What Martha sees. For the love of God, what you see.

Your resume looks much the same as it did four years ago – still molded into the shape of the kind of girl you thought Joel Miller, CEO might like to meet. And he did, very much so. It’s just – he met all shapes of her. Even the ones she tried to hide.

He found them all out, eventually.

Your thumb pauses, hovering over the mousepad. A slow guilt slithering over your shoulders, coiling deep in your gut. You think of Paris; those streets you walked down with Joel on your arm. Talking, laughing, spilling secrets and keeping them, too.

Your shadows are probably still on those avenues. Your reflections still bobbing in the Seine. Kisses hidden behind steam-coated mirrors, bodies joining in a darkened hotel room.

It twinges some, deep in your chest. A little numbed, what with all the alcohol and – well, Martha. But it’s still there. The same wound you’ve had for twelve years now.

It’s there. It will probably always be there.

So – fuck it.

You’re grabbing a goddamn paddle.

It’s been a quiet, fruitless week. No calls, no emails, no messages written in the stars.

Which is probably a good thing, given you were more than a few glasses of wine deep – and still on some kind of high from Martha’s speech. God only knows what kind of shit you were filling those applications with.

Nothing quite like liquid courage and a broken heart, right?

The light from the Xerox flickers, swiping memories from that afternoon back and forth. Martha’s hand locked around yours, the perfumed wine she kept buying. The waiter with the dimples, Joel’s Have a good night I’ll see you tomorrow, the pine air freshener in Alan’s car.

Things have mellowed, settled in your stomach. The world is back to beige – as plain as it always was before that night of tequila and AC/DC. You’ve made peace with it, this idea of letting go. Letting him go.

Martha – soapbox queen, microphone in one hand and glass of Sauvignon Blanc in the other – has checked in every day since. Expectant eyes from across the room, treasure chest emails full of job ads she’s collected.

Anything? she texted this morning, with six praying emojis. One more since yesterday, two since the day before that.

But no – nothing, for almost eight days now.

Maybe that’s for the best.

Maybe you can swallow back the knot of misplaced disappointment, slip back into your heels and forget any of it ever happened. That fire Martha struck so effortlessly, snuffed by a cruel, cold wind.

His knuckles on the door scatter your thoughts.

“Hey,” Joel says, leant against the frame. “Everything okay?”

“All good,” you reply. “What’s up?”

He looks…frustratingly good. Like he’s pieced himself back together. Sharp and smart, brand new. And yet – warm, homey, in all the places only you know to look.

Your fingers flinch by your side, as though they’re seeking him out. You want to run them through his hair, through his beard. Want to straighten his tie, smooth the shirt over his chest. Breathe him in and feel him melt under your touch.

Feel him change, feel him soften – just for you.

Only for you.

He floats over, hands in his pockets, and perches on the desk by the copier. “Exciting stuff,” he muses, tapping the machine twice.

“Hm,” you nod, “You’re an exciting man.”

“How was the wine bar?”

“It was good,” you reply. “Little above my price range, but – it got us drunk, so.”

“Did the job.”

“Did the job,” you agree.

“Good,” Joel says, crossing his ankles. “I’m glad to see you a little more your old self.”

Your lips flatten into a smile. “Well, Martha has a way with words.”

He snorts. “Don’t I know it.”

He lingers, then. An awkward air about him. He scratches his nose, stuffs his hands back in his pockets. Sucks in a deep breath, swallows what seems to be a soliloquy of sentiment, or secrets, or something else.

Whatever it is, his nerves rub off on you.

You cross your arms, twist your toe into the carpet. Stare at the paper churning out of the machine, stare at your nails, stare at anything that isn’t the man sitting right in front of you.

But then – he murmurs, as though the words splinter from his tongue, “I had an interesting email this morning.”

The copier shudders at his side.

Your eyebrows lift. “Oh, yeah?”

Joel clears his throat. “Yeah. Pertaining to you.”

And you realize.

You look up at him, the tight knit of his brows. His fixed jaw, the way it flexes as he chews on the words.

“Pertaining to me,” you echo – a nudge.

The light from the machine catches a wet glint in his eye. He blinks it away.

“Request for a reference,” he says.

And – shit.

“Shit,” you hiss.

Fuck.

“Oh, fuck,” louder.

His expression sharpens into a perplexed smirk. “Surprised?”

“Yes,” you start, “I mean – no. No, I just – Shit, I didn’t think they’d…I thought they’d talk to me first. Why didn’t they talk to me first?”

He shrugs. “I know of the company, met the CEO once at a gala. From what I know, she runs a pretty tight ship. Probably just wanted to gauge you before reaching out. It’s okay,” his voice is kind, hushed, “Doesn’t mean you won’t still hear.”

“Oh, Jesus, Joel,” you pull on your cheeks, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean –”

“Woah, woah,” he pats the air, moves so close you worry he might hear the thud of your heart, “No apologies, alright? That ain’t why I brought it up.”

“I just didn’t mean for you to find out that way. I wanted to be the one to – to tell you.”

He stands, hands finding your elbows. Gentle, a little timid. Barely brushing the sleeves of your shirt, and yet your whole body ignites.

“Darlin’,” his voice is serious, “I don’t care. I don’t give a shit, I promise. I mean…” he shakes his head, “…I give a shit. I give a lotta shits. I’m not – I don’t mean that, I meant –”

“I know what you meant,” you whisper.

“Yeah,” he sighs, “you always do.”

You pick a speck of fluff from his tie. He watches your hand, then takes it in both of his. Two big paws wrapped around one of yours, swallowing it whole.

It’s a familiar feeling, staring at the shape of your fingers tangled in his. Two in the morning at your first sleepover, praying Mom will pick up the phone. The first night alone in a new apartment, the babble of reality television for company right until sunrise.

You’re homesick.

Homesick for a man who’s standing right in front of you.

“I just wanted you to know,” Joel says, “that I sent it off just now. Just in case somethin’ goes wrong with the email, it doesn’t go through, I sent it to the wrong goddamn place – I don’t know. I just wanted you to know that it’s done.”

He holds your hand to his chest, his heartbeat against your knuckles. When you don’t reply, throttled by the threat of tears, he gives your wrist a little shake.

“Okay? You in there?”

“I’m here,” you breathe, and your hand slips from his grasp. “Thank you. I’m still sorry. You musta felt a little blindsided.”

His head bobs, considering. “Was a surprise, but a good one. Junior art director, huh? That sounds pretty damn exciting.”

“Yeah,” you reply, relaxing as he settles back on the desk. “Really exciting. Flex those creative muscles again.”

He grins. “You plan on working your way up?”

“Yup. Earn my stripes.”

“Alright, little tiger,” he says, and your heart leaps. “Proud of you.”

A silly smirk on your lips, you give him a tiny curtsy. “Here’s hoping your reference seals the deal.”

Joel laughs. “I don’t know about that, darlin’. It’s pretty shitty.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh, yeah. Talked all about how sarcastic you are, how you forgot the charger for your toothbrush – and then stole mine. Told ‘em about the Bart Simpson socks, force-feeding me Patrick Swayze. The lot.”

“The Bart socks,” you snicker, “They really stuck with you, huh?”

“Sure did.”

You slide onto the desk beside him. “What did you really write?” you ask, leaning in.

Joel glances to you. It should be obvious, with the way he’s looking at you, exactly what he wrote.

“Tell me,” you say, elbowing him.

“I told them…” he sighs, “…I told them not even to think about it, just hire you. They’d be outta their goddamn minds not to. Told them I wouldn’t be anywhere without you – or your Bart socks.

“Told them you’re the best thing that ever happened to this place. The best thing that ever happened to me. And you think – you think you never know what you have until you lose it, whatever that saying is, but I did. I knew from the second I met you. And they will, too. So – I told ‘em.”

The photocopier cuts, huffs, and falls silent. The room is plunged into a suffocating silence. You’re not sure you’re even breathing.

Joel’s arms are crossed protectively over his chest. You want so badly, more than anything, to burrow under them. To wriggle your way into his grasp – because you know he’d let you – cling to his chest, let his heartbeat regulate yours.

Let his entire body become yours; forget which parts are you, and which are him. Crawl into his skin, envelop yourself in him.

You want to cry into him. Hand him back all those mangled shapes of yourself you tried so hard to hoard – realizing now, that he knew what he was doing all along.

He was never trying to break them. He was never trying to hurt them. He only ever wanted to love them.

He only ever wanted to love you.

“Anyway,” Joel says, dusting his thighs, “Why don’t you finish that up, head on home for the day?”

“Uh –” you swipe the tears from your cheeks, “– no, it’s okay. I got a to-do list as long as my arm, and I still owe you, like, three hours from last week.”

Joel watches as you leap back over to the copier, swing the documents under one arm.

“I’m sure the to-do list will keep,” he assures, taking the ream from your clutches. “Go home, clear your head. Wait for that invite to interview to come through.”

“Joel –”

“Look at me,” he towers over you, “Anything urgent is Martha’s job now. She’ll love the drama of it. You want me to email that company back ‘n have them add Doesn’t follow orders to your reference?”

You breathe a laugh. “No.”

“No,” he repeats, brushing by.

All the times you’ve missed him before – landing back home after Paris, sat with some lovestruck financier in a golf club, fighting like kids in his office – and none of them compare to right now. Stood in the copy room, mere inches and yet entire worlds between you.

And Joel seems to know, like he knows everything you’re thinking. He glances over his shoulder, flame in his eyes, and he smiles. All sweet and charming, the real kind that softens him, lightens him.

Everything that makes him yours.

“Go on, git,” he says, heading for the door. “‘fore I change my mind.”

“Hey, wait. Joel?”

He turns back.

Your voice trembles. “How are you so calm about all this?”

His jaw flicks uncomfortably. He considers it for a moment, then says, “If you love something, you let it go.”

You repeat his own words back to him, whispered to you while you lay intertwined on his childhood bed. When they leave your mouth, they sound more like a plea. Fight back.

“But then you’d be losing something,” you say.

Joel shrugs. Earnestly. “Can’t lose somethin’ I never had.”

He doesn’t get it. He must get it. He’s twenty years older, twenty years wiser. He must know, by now. Christ, he had you to a tee two weeks ago.

How doesn’t he get it?

Your chest heaves. Your head shakes.

“You had it. You had me the second we walked into that dive bar.”

[bloodlust-1]

| . Broken Celibacy . |

Lovely photo by @astarionposting

Astarion x fem Tav — Explicit 18+

Summary: Using his tadpole, Astarion connects with Tav as she masturbates alone, or so she thought. Tav had vowed to remain celibate to avoid the complications of love, yet this promise would be broken.

T/W: Smut, blood

Notes: Okay this is smut but also a little fluff at the end cause I love, Love <3

Having this damned tadpole was more than an annoyance. But it was good for one thing. Something Astarion found quite amusing. To read the inner thoughts of someone's mind, and Tav's was a specific interest.

And tonight was no exception.

Astarion lay on his bedroll, staring aimlessly. He heaved a soft yawn before his ears twitched. With wide eyes Astarion flinched his head towards the side of his tent: Did I hear a moan?

The only person close was Tav, whose tent was steps away from his. Astarion's eyebrows quirked up in amusement; was his favorite companion finally breaking her self-imposed celibacy? He couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that it wasn't him that she had chosen. But Astarion failed to tell Tav just how he felt about her yet.

Astarion clenched his jaw, his teeth digging into his lip as he tried to keep his mind from running wild. He felt a spark of jealousy, unsure of who it was Tav's indulging with. Who was the lucky one who got to bring her pleasure?

Well - a peek wouldn't hurt.

Astarion closed his eyes, allowing his mind to slip into Tav's head. She was close enough for his tadpole to connect with. He kept his thoughts quiet enough to not disturb her. And there he saw, the image of Tav's legs spread open, her fingers softly rubbing over her exposed clit.

Interesting.

She was all alone. His favorite little juice box was pleasuring herself. His lips tugged into a small smirk, and his stomach turned with butterflies as more soft moans flowed into his ears. With the connection, Astarion could feel the tingling flow throughout his body, settling into the very depths of his groin. A twitch in his underwear brushed against the opening of his pants.

Astarion's breath hitched, and Tav's desires became his. He could feel the pleasure coursing in her body. But Astarion couldn't- no, wouldn't let go of the connection. It was too intoxicating.

With a cuss under his breath, Astarion unzipped his pants and shamelessly grabbed his hardened length. The pre-cum was enough lubricant to swiftly glide his hand up and down.

The image of Tav's fingers over her core played in his mind. Astarion's grip became tighter when one of her fingers slipped into her sex. The faint muffled whimpers were just enough to send Astarion over the edge.

Astarion pumped his hard cock into the palm of his hand, spilling more precum as he fucked himself just as Tav did. His hips thrust into the air desperately for more. Gods he needed Tav now.

With his eyes closed, Astarion spied on Tav fingering herself. His mind drifted to her face. The way her lips parted, her hazy eyes, and her wet fingers being sucked into the very place he wished to be balls deep in. She was lovely.

Astarion focused on his tip, hastily pumping his hand against the most sensitive part of his body. Fuck, it felt soo good. He needed to be quiet, he didn't want to get caught when he was so close. Astarion let out shakey breaths and continued to pick up his pace.

Just as he did, Tav thrust two fingers in and out. She placed her hand over her mouth to cover the loud moans that so badly wished to escape. Tav's eyes shut tightly as her jaw clenched, her climax coming to a close.

"Fuck." Astarion groaned against the thrusts. The tip of his cock went hot to the touch. He knew just by the way Tav's legs trembled that she would cum too.

A couple more pumps and thrusts were all enough to spill them both over the edge. If Astarion wasn't too drunk into his climax he would've missed the image of a pale white-haired man with red eyes pop into her mind. The connection was cut off before Astarion could question it. He groaned with a sharp pain in his temples.

Who was that man - is that me?

~

The next morning Tav woke up blissfully. Finally, she had a quiet moment to knock off that aching feeling between her legs.

She tried to not get tangled too much between her companions. After all, so much was on her mind and love wasn't something Tav was actively looking for.

BUT

Then there was Astarion - the vampire who had a way of tugging at Tav's heartstrings. She tried her best to remain guarded and not let her feelings for him take over until she was sure that his feelings for her were mutual. But it was hard when his presence alone was enough to make her heart flutter and her head spin.

Tav noticed she woke up late compared to everyone else, it seemed it was just one of those days to relax and heal. But what Tav really needed, was a bath. Gods did she feel so sticky from last night. Not to mention the obvious smell of sex on her.

Just as Tav started to head out to the closest stream, Astarion snapped Tav out of her daydreaming, "Good morning, darling. I hope you...slept well last night." He flashed a knowing smile. Something felt off about his aura...Did he know?

The image of Tav's trembling, cummed fingers still sat heavy in Astarions stomach. The experience still felt so vivid in his mind. It was delicious.

Tav's eyes widened in surprise as if she had been caught in a lie, and she let out an embarrassed giggle. "Oh! Y-yes, it was good," she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. She nervously cleared her throat and shifted her feet, trying to appear nonchalant.

Astarion's smirk lingered on his lips as he came dangerously close to Tav's ear. The warmth of his breath hit her skin, "Next time, do invite me." His gaze lingered for a moment before he took in a deep breath, inhaling her scent. "You smell delicious."

With a teasing laugh, Astarion walked away, leaving Tav utterly dumbstruck. Fuck! Was she really that loud? She felt a heat wave wash over her. Tav could've melted into a pool of shame right there on the floor from the sheer embarrassment.

~

Tav avoided Astarion like he was the plague. How much did he hear? What did he know? She couldn't be for sure but she felt like he knew something just from his teases and glances. It felt super sexual and it took her by surprise.

Maybe Tav was being too sensitive about it all. It's been weeks and well- sometimes the thought of Astarion crept into her head at night. So what if she needed to release herself?

Tav sighed as she got herself ready for the night, blowing out the few candles in her tent. Just as she did, Astarion peeked his head inside.

"Is there something you need?" Tav straightened her back as she tilted her head in confusion.

He rubbed the side of his neck, "I know this isn't the best time to ask but-"

"You need blood?" Tav cut him off with a raised eyebrow.

He let out a soft giggle and nodded his head, "You always know what to say, my dear."

Tav thought to herself for a moment. Surely, it was not a problem. But she still felt embarrassed from the whole... incident. "Uhm...Sure, just make it quick." Tav puffed out her cheeks, she tried her best to keep personal feelings aside.

He clasped his hands together with a fangy grin, "Perfect!"

Tav laid back onto her bedroll, and all but a single candle flickered against Astarion's silhouette. It was like his eyes glowed at the sight of her. He really did like her, and it was unbeknownst to Tav just how beautiful he thought she was.

If the room was not so dark, he could see just how red Tav's face grew.

"I was wondering where that pretty face has been all day." Astarion hummed.

"Is that flirting or coercion?" Tav looked up, eyes dilated.

Astarion watched her carefully, his eyes shining in awe. His hands gently stroked Tav's hair and cradled her head in his palm. "Mmm, both?" He leaned down and inhaled the scent of her sweet skin as he moved his head closer to her neck.

Astarion thought: The nape of her neck fits so perfectly against my cheek as if she were crafted just for me.

They locked eyes with each other. And there it was again...The pang in her chest. Tav wondered if he too felt it.

"Just relax my dear."

Astarion's teeth grazed her neck, sending a shiver through her body. Tav felt his cold lips press against her skin just when fangs pierced her flesh.

The sensation was so intense, it sent a spark of electricity up her spine. His lips moved to her ear as he whispered, “My love." Tav felt herself melting into him and knew there was no turning back.

The shivers that tickled her skin and the feeling of his lips were enough to make her want to stay in this moment forever. She felt like she was in a dream, and she never wanted to wake up.

Tav was already trembling under his hold. She knew just how much her body craved someone's touch, but fuck why now. With lips parted, she let out an accidental whimper.

Astarion suddenly pulled away, his eyes wide with surprise as the moan escaped her lips. Tav's eyes flew open, seeing the mess of blood dripping down Astarion's lips.

"I - Sorry." She shuddered before falling quiet in her own jumble of words.

Tav's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, realizing she had just moaned for him. She quickly looked away, not knowing what to say. His eyes lingered on her a moment longer before smiling under all the blood.

"You're amazing," he spoke softly.

"I love the way your body responds to me."

By the gods, has Tav been so obviously horny in each feeding session they had?

Astarion moved to Tav's mouth and kissed her gently, his lips still stained with her blood. Tav felt herself melt into his embrace as their mouths softly moved in sync. She was shocked, but the kiss wasn't unwelcome.

Tav's hands clutched the contours of his face, forcing his lips closer to hers. She wanted him, and everything he came with. His burdens, his scars, and his love. Tav hoped he could feel that all in mere actions.

Astarion felt the heavy rise and fall of his chest. Something was different about her. This was their first time ever sexually sharing these emotions, and so passionately too. It made him feel...wanted. It was unfamiliar territory.

Astarion's hands explored her curves. Moving slowly, caressing her body long enough to try and memorize each and every curve.

Astarion tugged at the lace of Tav's top, allowing the fabric to unravel her breasts. He pulled away and continued to undress Tav and himself. He wanted to feel her skin against his. And she was absolutely perfect.

He leaned over and dragged his tongue against the punctures, trying to get every drop of blood her could before pulling away.

"You are so beautiful, my love. I could spend eternity just touching your body, feeling the perfection of every curve.” There was a sencerity in his voice, and it made her go hot.

Astarion's fingers had tickled down Tav's body until it was met with her wet folds. Her legs slowly parted, allowing him more access to rub her most sensitive spots.

And to his delight, she was already wet.

All the while his mouth was over one of her breasts, circling the bud of her nipple. Tav felt every hair on her body rise while moaning a sweet tune. The way Astarion skillfully circled Tav's clit sent her on a blissful high.

Tav whispered his name, begging. "Astarion -" Tav stared with pleading eyes. "Please."

Astarion clearly understood what Tav begged: To be mine for the night. But if he finally made Tav's his, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to let go.

he smiled with a bloodied smirk before gripping Tav's waist and moving their bodies so that she was now straddling him. Astarion's smirk widened as he gazed up at her, his eyes filled with awe.

The vulnerability of being naked with his hungry eyes made her nervous. Tav bite down on her lip and averted her eyes, “I haven’t done this in a really long time…” She whispered. There was a strong hold of embarrassment. She didn’t want to disappoint Astarion with her lack of experience.

He reached out to cup her cheek, stroking it. “It was never about experience. It’s just you and me.” She looked amazing, it made no sense to him how she could be so insecure. Even if it was a long time for her, it was for him too.

Tav slowly looked back at him, nodding her head with a shy smile. His touch was careful, and calculated. He made sure to make her as comfortable as possible.

Their lips connected again while his hands wrapped around her waist. Their bodies pressed against each other tightly, and he’d peek at her exposed cleavage he fantasized so much about.

Wow. She's beautiful. Astarion took in all of her nakedness in admiration. He felt like he had struck a gold mine from the very moment they kissed.

He saw her melt into his arms as his erection poked against her. Face bright and eyes glistening, Tav was ready to finally feel him inside her. It was more than just a hook-up to her, Tav wanted Astarion to feel loved and wanted.

With approval in her eyes, Astarion trailed his hands down her hips, gripping the pudge of her love handles. Feeling every little stretch mark like tiger stripes.

This felt weird- felt different. Sex was always just a chore but this...He felt amazing being with her like this.

His hand reached for his length and placed his tip at her opening. He looked at her, waiting for an invitation.

Tav caught eyes with him and placed a single kiss on his lips, "We can stop at any time... If this is too much for you."

"Of course not, my dear. You are the only one I've ever felt this good with." He reassured her before pushing his hips against hers, slowly sliding into her.

They both sighed blissfully. Tav's warmth surrounded Astarion. It felt right, and everything they'd been through added up to this very moment. A realization hit him hard. Tav was important to him and it was time to show it.

His hips pushed deeper into her, wanting to selfishly feel every inch that she could offer. Tav rocked her hips with his as they collided back and forth hastily.

The tent filled with a cacophony of sounds: pants, whimpers, and groans all fighting for attention. Astarion moved with precision, thrusting into Tav with a force that had her hips bucking in response.

His strong hands held Tav's hips firmly, pushing her deeper onto his cock. Her walls trembled around him, her cries of delight echoing in his ears as he felt himself becoming increasingly connected to her.

He would always dissociate during sex, but no. not this time.

Shakily, Tav sat herself up, her hands placed on his chiseled pale chest. Her body acculated a glisten of sweat and she began to bounce on him. Allowing her weight to do most of the work as they thrust into each other.

Astarion gritted his teeth in the surge of pleasure. His cock twitching inside the wet slick of her walls. The bounce of her body swelled his eyes as his mouth parted softly, groaning the most prettiest melody.

His hands fondled her ass and dug his nails into the imperfectly perfect marks of her skin. His pumps became sloppy and tired.

Their bodies gleamed with sweat and they shamelessly used each other's bodies for pleasure. Each time Astarion bucked his hips into her, She leaned over more and more until her breasts were hovering over his face.

He sucked the delicate skin until he left many bruises, marking his territory like a feral animal on her breasts. His hips hungrily dug into hers and swiftly laying her on her back. Astarion wanted to see every move, moan, and expression under his body. He wanted to dominate her.

Tav wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him in. Her arms hugged him as she caressed the scars of his contract. Each caress sent shivers up his back from the sudden softness of the otherwise intense fucking.

Astarion leaned in closer, pressing his forehead firmly against Tav's. Their breathing coated each other's damp skin as his pumps became rougher. The sound of skin slapping filled the tent with a strong musk of sex.

It felt like a lost moment as if he stayed like this for some time now. His mind was filled with the image of Cazador and the wretched cells he had been held in, along with the terrible smell that still lingered in his memory.

But then, almost as quickly as it had come. The image faded away, replaced instead by a bright light - and at the end of it: An image of Tav smiling, the sun glistening on all the high points of her face.

It was a beautiful sight, one he wished could last forever.

This image burned into Astarion's memory and he gasped when he was snapped back into reality. Tav's wet lips opened in a final yelp before he felt his climax flow into her.

Astarion blinked aimlessly for a moment and looked down at Tav. She was hazy but concern filled her eyes as she cupped his face, "A-Are you okay?" She spoke between breathy pants.

Astarion felt himself relax into her touch as he nodded, his mind slowly returning to the present. He lingered a loving look at her and the small bead of sweat that streamed down her temple, "I-...Yes." He hung his head over Tav's shoulder, planting a kiss on her jaw.

She closed her eyes and hugged him tenderly, "I always knew you were special." Tav admittedly foolishly. She was still unsure what they were and it would definitely get complicated after this.

Astarion felt the warmth swell in his chest, a pleasant and soothing sensation that he'd never experienced before. He inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet scent of Tav's hair. A feeling of contentment and peace settled over him.

He wasn't sure what this feeling was, but he knew it was special. Astarion couldn't explain it, but he knew he had strong emotions about it. The warmth in his chest seemed to spread throughout his body, and he felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

"I think I'm in love with you."

Any thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!

[marleyybluu]

Another Man's Treasure

Oscar Diaz x f!reader

Word count: 6.8k (I am so sorry lmao)

Warnings: 18+, shitty husband, smut, p in v, unprotected (but pls don't be this stupid), creampie, dirty talk, cheating (but is it really if your husband is an ass), flirting, fluff, love at first sight type shit, Spanish/English pet names (pretty lady, hermosa, cariño), limited use of y/n(I literally used it once) idk lmk if I missed any.

(I only mention the first song but the other two are more for the… spicy scene😏)

——

The only escape from reality you had was the small moments of disassociation you had between the screaming of your children and the-

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

The shouting of your overgrown child of a husband playing his stupid games on his stupid PS5 that you wanted to set on fucking fire. This is not the life you pictured as a stay-at-home mom, yes the piles of dirty laundry were expected, and the mountainous dishes in the sink but you never predicted you'd be doing this alone. Your own mother stayed at home with you and your two brothers but your dad would still help her around the house so that she got the time to kick her feet up and relax.

You never got that.

You were living with this dark cloud over your head and deep regrets in your mind, why did you marry this man? You did think he was the love of your life, three years together before you got married proved your theory but never did you think it was going to end up like this. The amount of work you did was overwhelming, just one look at the number of toys on the floor made tears sting your eyes. You were tired, exhausted, drained and absolutely depleted.

If this was a job, you'd quit, you would take your children and quit. You wanted to so badly but the small hope of him changing clung to you like a piece of lint. You sighed holding your eleven-month-old on your hip while you made him a bottle, anything to keep him from wailing in your ears-- Jesus, half the time you couldn't hear.

"Babe!"

Your eyes rolled, you loathed his voice at this point. "What?"

"Can you pass me a water bottle?"

"Get up and get it, I'm making Malakai a bottle."

He groaned. "For fuck sake, you're in the kitchen already."

Your nostrils flared, and your eye twitched. You wanted to cuss at him, shout at him until your voice box shattered but you kept whatever calm you had left and ignored him. A small hand landed on your nose and you smiled kissing the tiny palm. "I love you too bubba."

He flashed a little smile and your heart sobbed at the fact that your last baby was growing so fast, teeth already emerging from his gums when just months ago he didn't have any. You could never regret your three little creatures, you loved them dearly, so much so you were willing to put up with the man that helped you create them just so they could have a two-parent household but you didn't know how much longer you could take this.

Heavy footsteps trailed inside the kitchen, you could tell he was angry at the fact that he had to pause his little game just to grab some water. He looked over the sink, utterly disgusted by the site in front of him and instead of just keeping his mouth shut or for once volunteering to do them he decided to spit out a sentence that made you want to knock his head off with the glass bottle you were holding; "You need to wash the dishes."

Your blood was boiling, if life was a cartoon you'd have steam coming out of your ears. "Why don't you get off of the game and do them?" You bit.

He cracked open the bottle cap. "Hey, I'm the one that works all week, you just stay home and do nothing."

Nothing? NOTHING!?

That was it.

That was the tip of the iceberg.

Your shoulders dropped and he left the kitchen, there was that ringing in your ears again that came and went every time you zoned out. Ever since you got married you'd felt nothing but unappreciated by him, you quit your job to stay home with your children and not even a thank you, you made sure he had a good meal when he went to work and all you got in return was an "it was okay." And the disgustingly dirty dish tossed right in the sink you'd just emptied. You were at the end of your rope.

You held back your tears and lightly kissed your son on his head handing him his bottle and putting him on a beam bag so he could lay down and drink. You trotted upstairs to check in on your oldest twins who were in their room colouring and getting along for once. Then you headed to the bathroom locking the door behind you, your body sliding down to the floor, you curled up in a ball burying your head between your knees you let out a long and heavy sigh before your river of tears took over.

A cry session your body and mind were so used to. You wailed into the void, muffling your weeps so that your children wouldn't hear you and come asking what was wrong, a question you couldn't answer without them turning on their father and you didn't want to ruin that relationship they had with him.

You were just so tired.

--

As night fell you remained mute when it came to your husband, whatever he had to say you didn't respond to, you were just happy that it was Sunday and soon he'd be out of your face for a few hours.

With the kids all asleep you were in the kitchen on FaceTime with your older brother. "The kids are great, they're sleeping." You conversed.

"And how have you been?"

There was no hiding how you felt when it came to your siblings, you were the baby and the only girl so when you were hurt they knew and they'd do whatever they could to fix it. "I'm okay... I'll be okay." You reassured. He was the only one who knew some small details about what you were going through and you begged him not to say anything not even to your mother until you figured out how to deal with everything yourself.

"Hey, listen, Jordyn is going on vacation next week, she's hitting Fiji, and I think you should go with her."

You squinched up your face, you didn't have a problem with your brother's wife, always so thankful for the sister you never got but what about your kids? Could you even trust that man to take over your duties even for a day?

As if he read your mind he continued. "I mean it'll be summer break next week, and they can stay by me if you want. I just, I really think you need time away from life. I want to see my little sister happy."

You pouted, it really touched your heart how concerned he was. A vacation would be wonderful, it was all you could dream of after the kids were born, you loved them but you just wanted to be by yourself.

"I'll think about it."

"Well, don't think too hard." He joked. "Whatever. I gotta get their lunches together, I'll call you when I make my decision."

"Sounds good, night."

"Night."

The call ended and you finished packing the twins' lunch placing the bags on the only empty spot on the counter. You huffed at the dishes and your husband's words replayed in your head. Nothing. You do absolutely nothing.

The longer you stared a vengeful plan began to brew. You were about to show him what doing nothing meant.

--

You decided you were going on that trip, Jordyn was excited and your brother was happy with your choice. The week flew by quickly, you kept up your normal appearance of keeping the house clean and to your husband's liking and by each day you grew more distant from him not like he cared in the first place.

On the last day of school you explained to the twins that you were taking a trip with Aunty Jordyn and they, unfortunately, couldn't come but they'd be staying with their uncle and they'd loved that man to death so they were excited either way. Your house was a mess and for once you smiled at it, you'd been letting everything pile up for the last two days, packing the clean clothes they did have in advance. The only explanation you gave your husband was that they were all staying by your brother for the week but you didn't mention that you weren't coming back.

You were leaving tonight and there would be no stopping you. You loaded the van with their stuff and yours and hollered for them to get their little butts in the car. "Last one in the car has stinky feet!" You laughed at the building volume of stomping feet coming across the hall and down the stairs, your twins were out and your youngest sat on your hip giggling at their antics. You happily wrote a short note.

Bye.

That's it.

You showered your baby in kisses and grabbed your keys before heading out the door, you locked it and made your way to the car, buckling in your baby and making sure the other two were in securely. You closed the door and first time in a long time you felt a weight off your shoulders, you smiled in satisfaction at how you left the house knowing you were not going to answer a single phone call from that man.

--

Jordyn squealed. "Ugh! I am so excited I don't even know what to do with myself!" You laughed at her enthusiasm as you put your hair up in a ponytail. It was day 2 of your trip and you were living life, you couldn't remember the last time you felt this relaxed. Now, of course, you missed your children it'd been the longest you'd ever been apart from them so you were a bit clingy with the calls but it was all understandable.

You two were hitting the beach today and you were a bit nervous, nobody had seen your body in almost a year not even your husband but Jordyn had persuaded you to find your behind in a two-piece bikini and you argued that you'd wear it as long as you could wear a cover-up so it was a deal. You looked yourself over in the mirror, you felt oddly confident. You looked fucking good. Three kids did your body right.

"You sure you want that cover-up?" She teased watching you admire yourself. "Hmm," You angled your lower half so you could check out your bum, how plump it had become over the years. "Maybe not."

She winked. "That's my girl."

You two grabbed what you needed and headed down to the beach which was right in front of the hotel you were staying at. The slight wind brushed against the water sending a cool and comforting breeze your way, your ears wiggled at the sound of the waves, and the giggles of other vacationers enjoying their time like you were.

The cushiony sand had greeted your toes after overflowing onto your sandals. You two travelled until you found a decent spot, it was close to the bar and the body of water. You set up your area as best as you could but you were in a battle with the beach umbrella Jordyn insisted on bringing. She watched with her hand covering her mouth to camouflage her laughter. "Okay, you know what, I'll handle this and you go handle us some drinks."

You childishly stuck out your tongue and strutted your way over to the bar, you hopped on an available stool. The bartender noticed you asking for you to just give him a minute. "No worries." You responded. You went on your phone and checked the many pictures your brother sent of your children, you smiled and a bit of sadness tugged at your heart. You missed your babies dearly.

The number of messages went up and it could only be one person. You promised you wouldn't look but you just had to, you swiped and tapped on your husband's name.

Where the fuck are you!?

The house is a fucking mess!

I'm not cleaning up, I hope you know that.

Baby, come on, we can work this out. Please.

You scoffed at the last message and put your phone down casually being greeted by the bartender who watched your various emotions while you went through your phone. "Everything's okay?"

Oh. Wow.

He presented a sweet smile, your eyes slightly widening at the sight in front of you. He was handsome, scratch that, he was fine as fuck. The shaved head didn't usually work on a lot of men but it did him justice, the scattered tattoos on his pretty and tanned skin, his broad shoulders that looked like they were made for legs to be hooked on and not to mention his big arms that looked like they could hold you snug and tight all through the night.

"Uh, yeah, everything's... everything is good." You stammered, a queasy feeling crept through you as it settled in your lower stomach. Butterflies? But you couldn't even remember what that felt like in order to come to that conclusion.

"Good to know. What can I get you, ma?"

You shuddered at his voice. He could talk to you all day.

"One Long Island, and one Piña Colada please."

He nodded. "Starting off slow I see." He chuckled. "Eh, we're on vacation, gotta soak it all up before we go back."

"I see," He multitasked making your drinks and conversing. "And when does the pretty lady go back?"

You blushed, should you even tell this literal stranger when you're actually leaving? But he felt... comfortable, easy to talk to and it's not like you'd ever see him again. "End of the week."

"Oh, you have plenty of time to get shit-faced." He encouraged. He'd finished your order and placed the liquored-down drinks in front of you. "Don't worry about paying yeah? It's on the house. Enjoy your vacation pretty lady."

"Y/n... you could just call me Y/n."

Not like you wanted him to, pretty lady was working just fine

"Nice to meet you. Oscar... Diaz." He winked. "Thanks, for the drinks."

"Anytime, pretty lady."

Your legs felt wonky as you walked away, and your breathing quickened. You did your best to walk back to Jordyn without looking back, if you did you were pretty sure you'd fall, just clumsy as fuck. "Girl, that man was watching you walk away." She whispered. "Stop." You poked, shoving her drink toward her. "Oh please, his eyes were on you." Jordyn gazed over to the bar, "He's still staring."

You casually whipped your head around and sucked your teeth when you noticed he wasn't. You glared at her. She snickered taking a sip from her Long Island. "Makes good drinks too."

You sighed, "Shut up."

The topic was silenced, you downed a few more drinks but sent Jordyn to get them instead while you swam around in the cooling water, floating around enjoying the peace the water brought you. But you couldn't help but occasionally look over to the bar. Oscar Diaz... nice name. Nice face. Cute little moustache that sat above his lips and a goatee that sat below. Pretty rosy pink lips...

Your eyes darted away. You're married.

Are you though?

You swam back up to the beach, it was beginning to get dark and the patrons on the beach became scarce. You wrapped yourself in a towel and collected anything Jordyn hadn't packed up yet. "You want one more drink before they close up? Maybe your new friend will allow it." She teased. You took off your flip-flop and threw it at her but your reaction only made her laugh.

A familiar voice was heard behind you. "So she's beautiful and she's got good aim, better watch out." 

You quietly gasped. "Hi... Oscar."

"Hey, uhm, listen I own a club not too far from here and you know it's a decent hangout for the locals... and the visitors." He winked. "Wanted to know if you two would like to come check it out?"

You fought back a smile. "We could try." You answer without even thinking. "I'll take that," He reached into his pocket handing you a folded piece of paper, you assumed had the address of the place he owned. Your fingers brushed against his, prickles felt like they were forming on your skin and those weird feelings returned in your lower stomach.

He sent you another wink and headed back off to the bar to close up.

--

Of course, Jordyn was down to go. You groaned internally as you two pulled up to a crowded place, looking up at the illuminated sign reading Cloud 9. Hmm, cute. You pulled down your dress as it rose up with each step, your heels clicking against the cold ground, the music booming so loud you could feel your body vibrating the closer you got to the entrance, flashing lights of different colours beamed through the door every time it opened blinding whoever entered. "Where's your friend?" Jordyn asked. "Have patience, I just told him we got here."

"Mhm." She sassed. Your heart thumped in your ears, it pounded against your chest. What were you doing? It was a question you asked yourself from the moment you got back to your room and began to get ready for tonight. You shook off your thoughts and shifted your eyes over to a black door that slowly began to open. "Hey, over here." Oscar waved you two over and you followed. "What's going on, pretty lady?... And pretty lady's friend."

Jordyn nodded at him as a silent greeting, she was just here to observe your anxious behaviour for her entertainment. "Come on," You followed him through a dimly lit hallway and up a flight of stairs, your nerves building and sudden regret forming in your bones until you entered a brighter atmosphere, the loud music returning to your eardrums. He had led you two to a section that only had a few people, you could assume it was the VIP section.

"Anything you two want to drink just let me know and I got you."

Jordyn raised her eyebrows at the tempting bottle of unopened champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. Oscar chuckled granting her permission to open it, she shimmied her shoulders in excitement and got to work. You shook your head at her, you travelled over to the balcony and looks down at all the patrons having the time of their lives, a few familiar faces from the resort and others that weren't recognizable which you could only assume were locals.

Oscar found his place beside you and nudged your shoulder with his. "You want anything to drink?"

"No, not yet, I'm good."

He slowly nodded. "So, what are you doing in Fiji? Besides vacationing."

You huffed, "I just needed time to myself... to get away from shit."

"I hear that." You could just feel those sweet and curious brown eyes boring into the side of your head, you poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue and looked down at your shoes, just anything to not make eye contact with him. You were shy, you were never shy not even with your husband when you first met him. It's like this was a new feeling, you were queasy and nervous and it honestly felt good in a weird way-- it felt good to not be comfortable, to get all flustered over someone like a schoolgirl crush.

"You really own this place?"

He scrunched up his face. "Half own, I guess. My brother and I came here for an escape just like you and we ended up staying. Now, we own Cloud Nine and I work down at the resort once in a while."

"Oh, you're a busy man."

"I try to be." Oscar chuckled. He was so easy to talk to, why was he so easy to talk to?

You found yourself moving a bit closer. "What were you trying to escape from?"

"Life. I wasn't happy where I was living and I wanted better but... given the circumstances, we just couldn't get it. So I threw a dart on a map, so to speak, it landed on Fiji and we've been here ever since."

"Where are you from then?"

"Originally born in Mexico, we moved to LA, and then out here."

"Would you ever go back to the States?" You asked finally looking up at him knowing he hadn't taken his eyes off you all night. He leaned forward, officially entering your bubble. "If I had a good enough reason... yeah."

You looked up at him through your lashes and softly smiled, meanwhile, Jordyn sat on the couch sipping and shaking her head at the sight in front of her. She would playfully scold you in the morning but tonight she'd let you have your harmless fun.

As the party went on you were getting a bit bored being upstairs so you grabbed your girl and headed downstairs to where the crowd was and of course Oscar was right behind you, he felt a sense of protection over you two tonight given this was your first time out here and inside his establishment. You had found enough confidence to start dancing around, a little two-step from left to right to get you going, but soon the constant flow of drinks Jordyn handed you helped you loosen out of that as well.

The DJ was beginning to play all the oldies, and that was your specialty. Oscar watched in adornment as you killed every lyric, every adlib and every beat to whichever song came on. It had transitioned from a bit of Hip-hop to something a lot slower.

  "Right now, we're gonna slow it down a bit, so grab your lovers and take your time."

The lights changed to blue and a recognizable first note had you close your eyes.

Mmm ooooh, my my my my my my my babyyy ouuuuuu

Jordyn had already found herself dancing with a random woman. She looked widened her eyes at you and quickly flicked them over to Oscar, trying her best to encourage you to make your move. But he was faster. You felt yourself being pulled into his warm embrace, his strong chest against your exposed back, his hands carefully snaking around your waist as if he was worried about you rejecting his touch but you gladly welcomed it.

Melting into his hold you two swayed side to side, he leaned down comfortably nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. You were lost in the vibes of Keith Sweat's Right and a Wrong Way. You reached back hooking your arm around his neck lightly scratching his scalp with your nails. "You smell so good, mamita." He whispered, it was a miracle that you heard him. Your lips parted slightly as you felt his warm breath tickle your skin. His swift hands ran up your sides resting right under your breasts and gliding back down to your hips.

A thumping began between your thighs, now that was something you hadn't felt in a long time. You put that feeling to the side no matter how hard it was to do so. The rest of the night it felt like all the songs were targeted for just you two, you hadn't eased up on him once-- always in close proximity to him. He touched you in simple ways, ways you hadn't been touched in almost a year.

It was getting super late, almost three in the morning and you couldn't recall the last time you were out like this, it'd give you hell when you woke up but it was worth it. You and Jordyn rode back to the resort with Oscar, she exited the car first thanking him for the night out and wobbling her way inside. You giggled watching her walk away, "I should get in there before she tries the key on the wrong room."

But you didn't want to leave him.

And he didn't want to leave you.

"Thanks for tonight, I had a lot of fun."

"No problem, anything to help a pretty lady escape." He bit his lip. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Recovering," You laughed, "But other than that nothing."

"Can I see you again?"

You gulped and nodded. "Mhm."

He laid out his palm your eyebrows furrowed as you rested yours on top of his, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and placed such a gentle kiss on your skin. "Goodnight, mamita."

You wanted to scream. You left the car putting a little swing in your hips as you walked away, you looked over your shoulder and sent him a cute little wave before disappearing behind the doors.

— —

And that's how you spent the rest of your trip, shamelessly flirting with Oscar. You got to know each other a lot more, when you weren't spending time with Jordyn you were with him. Giggling like an airhead and blushing red like Rudolph's nose.

Jordyn constantly teases you about the crush you'd seem to quickly develop.

"Is this stupid?" You ask shoving your face in the pillow. This all felt too good to be fucking true, a guy that you met only four days ago was treating you so much better than the man you married four years ago. Oscar had flowers for you at the front desk of the resort every morning and sent you the sweetest messages throughout the day about how he was thinking of you, how he caught a glimpse of you today and you looked stunning, calling you the prettiest woman he'd ever seen step on this island.

You convinced yourself they were all lies, sugarcoating you like he probably did every woman but who were you fooling? Certainly not yourself and certainly not Jordyn.

"It's not."

"I'm married." You argued tiredly to which she fake yawned. "I don't see a ring on that finger and I don't see that man treating you any better than Oscar has. Just saying."

The fingers on your right hand brushed your vacant ring finger, you'd taken it off the minute you got on the plane, you didn't want to be reminded of him on this trip at all and yet there was that piece in the back of your mind that reached out to him. Checking his messages once in a while but never responding, he was giving you the attention you wanted but it didn't feel right.

The fact that you had to spontaneously leave to get even a fraction of what you were asking for was bullshit. Downright bullshit.

You groaned sitting up the pads of your fingers now rubbing your temples, tired and stressed. The trip was almost over and you dreaded going back to that house that was no longer a home. He'd sent you pictures that he'd finally cleaned up but you had a feeling once you returned home things would go back to the way they were and you did not want that.

"I think your brother would agree with me, you've smiled more in these past few days than I've seen back home, I mean you two are always so distant when you come over. And don't think I don't hear your rants when you and your brother are on the phone. Now I don't condone cheating but, hey, I didn't see shit."

You sighed checking your phone for any recent texts from your husband but Jordyn caught wind of what you were doing and snatched your device. "Enough with him. Flirt and have fun before you have to go back to normalcy."

You heard your phone buzz in her hand, she looked at the message for you. "Speaking of, someone is downstairs."

You felt nauseous. "Where are you two going anyway?"

"Down to the beach, said he has to restock the bar... and I wanted to spend time with him so I offered to help."

"Mhm." She winked. You grabbed your phone back from her grasp and told her you'd be back soon. You left your room, entered the elevator and headed downstairs where Oscar was happily waiting for you. "Hola querida." He become more comfortable speaking Spanish around you, especially when he noticed how the little nicknames got a reaction out of you.

"Hi," Oscar noticed the shaky tone in your response and made note of it You had comfortably slipped your hand inside his, he immediately hooked his fingers in the spaces of yours. Like he was your puzzle piece.

You two headed down to the decent-sized Hut, your eyes widened at the number of boxes sitting on the sand. "Don't worry, I got the heavy bottles, you just get the small ones." He reassured pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You loved those, so innocent and sweet, although you wish sometimes he'd kiss you on your lips or you had to courage to kiss his. "Think I can't handle the big boxes?" You scoffed walking inside after him.

"I think you can, I just don't think my pretty lady needs to."

My pretty lady.

ugh!

With music playing in the background you two got to work, "Do you still think about running your own restaurant?" You asked sparking a conversation, you squatted down to the lower shelves and propped the glass bottles in an organized fashion, eyes tearing through the material of your sundress and you could feel them. "I do, yeah. Why?"

You bit your lip. "Would it still be down here?"

There was a beat of silence. "Most likely."

Another pause in the moment aside from your soft humming to the music. "You excited to see your kids?" He asked. You smiled at the mere thought of them. "I am. My three little headaches." Oscar found himself next to you, leaning against the counter, you stopped your movements and looked up-- he had one arm folded over the other and a bit of a scowl on his face.

"What?" You innocently question standing up to match his eye line, well more-like chest line. "Nothing, just trying to take my time to remember this face." He reached for your cheek, his fingers ghosting your flesh. "You flirt like this with all the girls here?"

A question that was supposed to come out jokingly but you were a bit serious. "Nah," You squinted at him watching his lips press together, his chest stuttering as he held back a laugh. "You asshole, I knew it." A dramatic hand to your heart as you playfully pouted at him and fake cried. Oscar's arms enveloped you in their warmth, you attempted to push him off but it was no use, your feet suddenly off the ground, you squealed and giggled as he switched positions with you plopping you on top of the counter.

He placed his palms flat on the side of your thighs while he was positioned comfortably between them. "To be fair, hermosa, it is kind of my job. But believe me when I say I've never spent any time with them. And I've definitely never brought them back here after hours." His thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin. "Just you, princesa."

You melted, your whole body could be seen physically slumping in his hold. His eyes sparkled while he looked at you, the crinkles in his eyes appearing as he smirked. Before you could comprehend anything his lips brushed yours, your head suddenly becoming foggy with the inappropriate images of him that you'd conjured up these past few days.

His nimble fingers danced along the hem of your dress, a rush of heat passing over you as he hiked it up further exposing more of your flesh.

This was no longer a want... it was a need.

Your hands landed right under his jaw as you pulled him in crashing your lips onto his and he happily reciprocated your energy, his hands wandered up to your hips tugging you closer to him as if it were possible. Your lips moved as one, tongues passing by in the heat of the moment, the only thing on your mind was him and you wanted it to remain so for as long as possible.

Tingles scattered around your body, both of you flushed with lust and arousal. Your hands travelled to the bottom of his shirt quietly begging for him to take it off, you needed to feel his skin, thankfully he got the message-- pulling away for a brief moment to remove his top. Your eyes glazed over his lightly tanned skin, little scars here and there you can only presume he earned before he got here.

You smiled at the strewed ink on his torso, chest and ribs. "What are you thinking about?" He inquired. You looked back up into his brown iris'. "I wish I had met you first." You mumbled drawing him back down, this kiss was a lot more passionate and slow unlike the first.

Oscar's hands gently tugged at the neckline of your dress, your breasts spilling over and his calloused hands finding them. You softly moaned against his lips, your nipples hardening from the cool breeze and his fondling. He pinched and rolled them between his fingers, your head tipped back and his teeth nipped at the column of your neck.

You were forming a small pool in your panties at his teasing. His tongue grazed your neck continuously licking and sucking a specific spot that was getting a squirming reaction out of you. You felt his devilish smile, he knew what he was doing to you and he liked it.

His hands moved from torturing your swollen breasts back down to your thighs shoving your dress up until your little black panties were on display. You sat on the edge of the counter making it a bit easier for him to remove them, the cool air hitting your soaking slit.

"Touch me, please, touch me." You whined not caring about how desperate and needy you sounded. Oscar listened to your pleas and dipped one hand between your legs, his fingers quickly finding your slick folds. You shuddered as he glided two fingers up and down, dipping them inside you once in a while.

You were soaking, you were throbbing, and you just wanted him inside you where he fucking belonged. He slowly plunged his fingers inside, you clench around them happy to have something pleasuring you. Your eyes are closed and your legs spread further for him, nails digging into his shoulder blade hopefully leaving little indents.

He pumped them in and out of you with the squidgy noise of your wetness to follow. "Yes... oh yes, like that."

Oscar felt himself twitch under his boxers using his other hand to undo his belt and pulled down his materials. His dick is hard and his tip a rosy pink turning cherry red oozing with a bit of cream, his hips buckled once his hand brushed over it-- equally as desperate as you were. Your erotic moans were like music to his ears, so much sexier than he could've pictured. You whined once he removed them your hole flexing around nothing as you caught your breath.

Oscar hooked your legs over his arms spreading you to his desire, you reached between your bodies firmly (but not too tight) grasping his length and guiding it to your entrance, his swollen head prodding inside you as the rest of him followed.

Your jaw slacked at the feeling of him deliciously stretching you out, he was so thick and it felt so nice. Oscar croaked out a moan while burying himself deep inside your warmth-- coating his dick with your sticky walls, so slick and welcoming that he didn't want to move.

You caressed the back of his neck as he pressed another kiss on yours, trailing it up the side and finally landing on your mouth. You giggled into the kiss, Oscar pulled back with a questioning look. "I can't tell the last time I felt like this." You mumbled under your breath but he heard you. He didn't want you to leave, hell if you didn't have kids he'd probably try to convince you to move out here with him.

He didn't say anything in response just pulled out and pushed back in. "Fuck." You both moaned.

His head dipped back down, nibbling on your sweet skin.

You whimpered through every tantalizing stroke he gave you, his tip poking right at your hot spot and you knew you wouldn't last. "You feel so good!" A sentence broken by little gasps. Oscar grunted, violently gripping your thighs as he pounded you, pulling the filthiest sounds from your pretty little throat. So loud and erotic he was sure they could hear you back at the resort.

Your eyes squeeze in absolute bliss, your head hazy from the constant pleasure you received, quickly feeling a sensation in your lower belly a wave of heat threatening to take over. Your palm lay flat on his back while the other gripped the edge of the counter.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Oscar!"

He lifted you off the counter a bit, relentlessly slamming into you now. Your high getting closer and closer. "I can, shit, I can feel you mamita. So fucking tight."

Your toes curled and your eyes rolled. "Baby, ohhh, I need to..."

Oscar smiled. "You wanna cum for me, baby? Come, mi amor, all of it."

His words tipped you off the edge, your back arched and your body trembled from the shockwaves of your orgasm, he held you closely revelling in your pulsating pussy dripping down his shaft.

He quickly brought you off the countertop, your wobbly legs barely holding your support. He turned you around, you barely recovered from the first position.

You were sensitive and extra wet just how he wanted you. You flinched when he pressed himself against your entrance once again, pushing in ever so carefully. "Fuck... you."

He laughed menacingly, his hands squeezing your hips. "That's what I'm doin' pretty lady."

You wanted to give him a smart-ass answer but it was cut short when he began to move. Your nipples were hard against the surface, you rested your head down and whined. "So fucking good."

"Yeah?" He chuckled spanking you. He was enjoying the pornographic sounds that you provided, all going straight to his dick.

He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you up against him, back pressed on his chest, his warm breath in your ear. "Can't get enough of you I swear." He admitted.

He poked and prodded against that familiar spot, tears of overwhelming pleasure threatening to spill when he pinched your nipple. "Fuck! I'm gonna miss you, so fucking much."

"You gonna think about me?"

"Yes! Oh!"

You felt him twitch inside you, you smiled egging him on. "I won't stop thinking about you, when I touch myself I'll picture it's you-"

"Fuck, cariño,"

"Ou, you're the only one I want inside me."

You convulsed around him feeling another orgasm quickly building and getting ready to fall apart. A few more thrusts and Oscar held himself still inside you, your body shivering at the warm cream he just spilled inside you. His high triggering yours. You reached behind hooking your arm around his now sweaty neck.

The sound of the wind against the water and the waves crashing describe exactly how you felt right now.

"Oh... my god." You said breathlessly.

"You're okay?" He asked with a laugh. You giggled tipping your head back on to his shoulder. "Better than okay."

He sighed kissing your back. "I meant it..." You said.

"What?"

"I'm gonna miss you."

He smiled sheepishly. "I'll miss you too."

--

Those moments replayed in your head constantly, it was the only thing getting you by once you came back home. You two still talked every day, called and FaceTimed but it wasn't enough. You would stare at the prices of tickets and sigh, you couldn't afford to go back right now.

Your life was the same, unloved and unappreciated, despite the embarrassingly desperate messages your husband had sent when you were on your trip. You stared at another pile of dishes, your shoulder sinking with exhaustion. With your two older ones at school and your son almost an hour into his nap you decided to just relax. You clicked on Netflix and attempted to finish Bridgerton's, Queen Charlotte.

Your eyelids felt heavy, sleep threatened to take over but the doorbell had them shoot open. It wasn't just one ring it was multiple and it was annoying so you assumed it was your brother. You groaned trudging to the door. You swung it open aggressively, ready to give him a piece of your mind. "You're going to wake-"

There he was. Standing in front of you, on your doorstep... at your house. "O-Oscar..." You poked his chest to see if he was really there. "Said I'd come back when I have a good reason." Your eyes softened, your arms reaching for him. His lips immediately find yours. "I," kiss, "fucking," kiss "missed you."

Your legs wrapped around his waist as he stepped inside closing the door. He carried you over to the couch and plopped you on the cushions. You laughed, your mood immediately changing with him around. "Jordyn told you where I lived didn't she?"

He nodded. You rolled your eyes. "Of course."

"Not happy to see me?"

You pulled him down for another kiss.

"Beyond happy."

I was going to wait until the weekend to post this but I am a little too excited to get this out.

Shoutout to my girl @darqchilddaydreamz for her input on a few things and her encouragement. Holdin it down ✊🏾

if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

Alsooooo thank you for 800 followers, yall cool as fuck thanks for fucking with me and my antics.

Peace and love see you in the next one✌🏾

🏷: @darqchilddaydreamz @skyesthebomb @realhotgurlshit

[vampireimiko]

pregnant reader x miguel o’hara: gabis first parent teacher conference and they’ve gotta explain why she keeps saying her dads gonna whoop the kids ass whenever they piss her off

parent teacher conference

warnings, none at all !! just like 1 cuss word or something 💀

note, THANK YEW FOR REQUESTING VENUS 🫶🏾🫶🏾, this is the longest oneshot ive ever made😭 anyway i hope you all enjoy !!

It's Parent Teacher Conference night, and Miguel finds himself sitting near the back of the auditorium to keep an eye on the meeting. There seems to be a bit of arguing between teachers and parents about the workload being too much for some students, when he senses a presence next to him and looks up to see that you, his wife, sits to his left, who is visibly pregnant and with her own plate filled with food.

"Oh my god- Miguel! This food is so good, do you want some?" You said, mouth full of a bit of everything on your plate. Miguel chuckled at your antics and shook his head no.

"As entertaining as this is" He says pointing towards the arguments in front of him, "I'm just ready to have our 1 on 1 with Gabriella's teacher."

You agreed with him, as you two had been sitting here for quite some time. But just like clockwork, Gabriella's teacher, Ms. Rose walked up to you and Miguel letting you know she was ready to have your conference.

Ms. Rose greeted you both with a warm smile, her eyes briefly glancing at your visibly pregnant belly before focusing on the matter at hand. "Thank you both for being here tonight! I appreciate your dedication to Gabriella's education."

You exchanged a nod and a smile, grateful for the teacher's acknowledgment. Miguel stepped forward, his voice filled with genuine interest. "We're looking forward to hearing about Gabriella's progress and any areas where we can support her better."

"Of course! Please if you could follow me to my classroom and we can get straight into discussing." With that being said, you and Miguel get up from the seats with him having to help you. It was getting hard for you stand up by yourself and you absolutely could not wait to have this baby out of you. Anyway enough of that, you and Miguel make your way too the classroom following behind Ms. Rose.

She opens the door and encourages you two to sit wherever. As you settled into the seats, she began sharing Gabriella's achievements and areas for improvement, providing a comprehensive overview of her academic journey.

The both of you listened to her intently, focusing on what Gabriella needed a bit more help on. You and Miguel took turns asking questions and clarification's on certain things. You could tell Ms. Rose genuinely cared about her students, taking the time to learn they're strengths and challenges.

"Now despite Gabriella being absolutely wonderful, there is one more thing I'd like to address." Ms Rose said switching her tone to a more serious one. You and Miguel looked at one another then back at her.

"Yes?"

"I've been overhearing Gabriella tell people that Mr. O'Hara here would come up to the school and in her words, 'whoop anybody who pisses me off'."

The both of your eyes widened. Miguel knew he said that, you know he said that, hell even the baby inside of you knew he said it! Not only did be say that, but he meant it aswell. Nobody is messing with his babygirl.

"Miguel!" You slapped his shoulder, putting on a serious front up in front of Ms. Rose, knowing damn well you wanted so badly to burst out laughing.

The room fell into an awkward silence as Ms. Rose observed the exchange between you, Miguel, and your shared reaction. Your attempt to maintain a serious demeanor in front of her was quickly crumbling as your suppressed laughter threatened to burst forth.

Miguel's face turned a shade of red, realizing the weight of his words and the potential consequences they might have had. He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself, his eyes darting between you, Ms. Rose, and the floor.

"I-I apologize Ms. Rose. That was a misguided attempt at humor. I never intended for her to come to school and say something like that." He said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Ms. Rose, her expression a mix of amusement and understanding, nodded. "I appreciate your honesty, Miguel. It's essential to address such statements to ensure a safe and inclusive environment for everyone."

You struggled to contain your laughter, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Taking a deep breath, you managed to compose yourself enough to speak without bursting into giggles. "Yes, Ms. Rose, we apologize for any confusion caused. We'll make sure to have a conversation with Gabriella about appropriate language and the importance of respectful interactions."

Ms. Rose's lips curved into a gentle smile. "I understand that children can sometimes pick up on our words and interpret them in unexpected ways. It's important for us as adults to model the behavior we want to see in them."

Fast foward to being done with the conference, you and Miguel were walking too the car. He stopped the both of you and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion as he leans down to your stomach.

"Just to let you know, that same statement in there goes for you too."

𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; 𝐖𝐎𝐎 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 !! 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦 (𝐢𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥) 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 !!

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

[rainystarshower]

Hii, i wanted to request a SFW alphabet with dr ratio like you did with aventurine. Thank you!

SFW Alphabet with Dr. Ratio

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

chara : Dr. Ratio

cw : fluff, gn reader, not proofread, slight cussing, is he or is he not mischaracterized let’s find out lads...

a/n : Another Dr Ratio request u guys must love that annoying little pretty guy😭

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈✩┈┈┈┈┈𝄞

A — How they show affection 𝄞≛

I think he shows affection in a rather funny yet cute way! He’ll tell you random facts about whatever you like. Such as, if your favourite were an owl — he’d bombard you in cute owl facts he thinks you’d like, just to make you happy and show off how much knowledge he holds about something you love!

B — How they are as a bestie 𝄞≛

He’d be the type to constantly tell you that; ‘this person isn’t worth it’ ‘he’s a horrible person.’ ‘she got so and so wrapped around her finger. definitely someone who exceeds in social status.’ Trying to find your best match! (Hint: it’s him!<3)

C — How they cuddle 𝄞≛

Not a big cuddler, or so he says. He actually enjoys cuddling with you. When you enter the room, he’ll purposely lift his arm that isn’t holding the book — to rest it behind the couch, indicating you come and cuddle with him. To which you happily oblige! He loves cuddling with you, he’ll just never admit it

D — A domestic life with them 𝄞≛

You two ended up merging your schedules together even unknowingly. Oh, Ratio takes baths at this time? You do too now, and you don’t even know it! Oh, you do this at a certain time? So does he, and he doesn’t know it either!! I think having a domestic life with Ratio wouldn’t be the worst

E — Ending the relationship 𝄞≛

He’ll miss you. He’ll definitely think about you more than he’d like or more than he’d even admit. If you cut the relationship off, he’d be irritated for weeks!! Constantly thinking about what he did wrong and why your reason was bullshit! (It wasn’t.) Safe to assume, it’ll take a really really long time for him to get over you. He’ll be direct if he’s the one breaking it off — telling you all the ‘necessary’ points. Either way, he’ll end up longing and missing your presence in his life.

F — How they feel committing with you being their fiancée 𝄞≛

I think he’d secretly be ecstatic! Oh, you’re his fiancée? Maybe he’s a bit worried he won’t be able to satisfy all your needs or maybe that you’ll ask far too much from him, but he buries that all in the back of his head. He’s more than ready to commit to your relationship with him to another level like this one!

G — How gentle are they with you 𝄞≛

He’s a little less harsh on you than he is with others. Almost all his students point it out, and he denies it, saying he is not harsh towards you at all! He subconsciously makes you look like you’re a being better than any other the second somebody starts the topic about you. He’s so smitten!

H — Do they like hugs 𝄞≛

Not particularly. He is fond of his personal space, but if he’s really in a mood, or you, he’d most definitely accept and enjoy it. He likes your hugs the best.

I — How long does it take for them to say ‘I love you’ 𝄞≛

Quite a while actually. Although, it’s been occupying his mind. How badly he wants to say ‘I love you’ to you, but imagining your reaction or you even looking at him before he says it makes him far more flustered than he realizes. He will say it, when he finally wins the war between his love for you and his pride😭

J — How are they when jealous 𝄞≛

It’s a full interrogation scene straight out of a show! ‘Who was that?’ ‘How long have you known them?’ ‘Who are they?’ and yada-yada. He immediately goes up to you the second he sees somebody being a bit touchy with you, absolutely intimidating them and sort of freaking them out with his sculpture head. He’ll just stand behind you and say “This is my partner.”

K — How do they like kissing 𝄞≛

Oh, he’s a total sucker for them! He loves your kisses, he’s constantly craving a kiss from you no matter his mood, unless it’s something urgently important. If you do sneak a kiss on him whilst he’s very damn busy then he’ll scold you, then nudge you, indicating you should give him one more before he returns to the original topic.

L — How good are they with little ones 𝄞≛

This one’s a funny one!! I can totally see him arguing with some spoiled brat who says Ratio’s wrong about this thing or that thing. But I think he tries to remain calm for ”they rarely know any better. I know much more than them.” but he’d still totally be pissed at them and almost blow his lid! With nicer kids, he’s helping them out to the fullest!! He may not be fond of kids, nor are they fond of him but, he definitely holds care for them, and some kids might like him when they experience the nice Veritas!

M — How are your mornings with them 𝄞≛

Unsure, really. He’ll always wake you up at the same time as him unless you’re really exhausted then he’ll let you sleep and leave a note about what time he went out and some food for you. Although when you wake up together, he’ll take a bath with you, then you two will make breakfast together. Very cute!

N — How are your nights with them 𝄞≛

He’s like one of those people who immediately fall asleep the second the clock hits 10PM. No matter where he is, he’ll fall asleep at 10PM. Which is why, on some days he takes a bath with you at 9PM after dinner. Immediately, he goes on the bed with you, while you are just talking until the clock hits 10PM. Sometimes on nights where he needs to stay up for something important, he’ll do so but, the second he relaxes — he’s out!

O — How open are they with you 𝄞≛

I believe he is quite open with you. He’ll tell you anything that you ask about, so many details to the point you know more than you wanted to! He believes being open with you is the best way to solve any future miscommunication.

P — How patient are they with you 𝄞≛

Quite patient. He’s more patient with you than others. He’ll always help you out when you ask for it! Even if you somehow really get him near the edge, he’ll try his best to remain patient as possible!

Q — Quizz them to know how much do they remember about you 𝄞≛

He remembers everything about you! If you decide to tease him about a question in which he got correct, and you tell him it was wrong — he’ll go on and on about it for hours about how he’s the correct one and that “you don’t know yourself!” if he genuinely wrong though, he won’t take it lightly. He’ll instantly note it down somewhere and try to remember it everyday!

R — What’s their favourite moment in their relationship that they remember 𝄞≛

Everytime you held his hand. Ratio could feel some sort of warm, fuzzy feeling swelling up inside of him when he recalls all the moments you held his hand. Be it while on a walk, you dragging him somewhere, an emotional moment, anything. Ratio would always remember the feeling of your hand. Oh how much he loves that hand he holds so dearly, to never let go of it<3

S — How secure — protective are they of you 𝄞≛

Quite protective. He’s almost like a mother! “Where are you going?” “Who are you going with?” “When will you be back?” and if you finished calling with somebody, if you don’t tell him who called he’ll just ask himself. “who was that?” waiting for you to tell him all the details, if you don’t, that’s also... okay?

T — How hard do they try for their relationship 𝄞≛

He tries the best to his ability. He’s a member of the Intelligentsia Guild after all! Even if he’s busy, he’ll try as much as he can for you. For his love for you and, for your love for him, he’ll try the hardest he can.

U — What’s an ugly, bad habit of theirs 𝄞≛

He’s unknowingly rude at times. If you don’t like somebody or something, and you give him valid reasons — he’ll end up insulting that person more than needed. If you give him invaild reasons, he lets his tounge slip and might accidentally hurt your feelings... Don’t take it to heart too much! He’ll try making up for it...

V — (Vanity) How insecure are they 𝄞≛

Not quite insecure. Maybe to some degree, he fears his words might end up hurting you, but he tries his best to keep it to himself and improve around you. If you found out though, you’ll help him bury his insecurities into the back of his mind so he can be Veritas with you, rather than just Dr. Ratio<3

W — Would they feel incomplete — not whole without you 𝄞≛

Definitely. Without you, he has no muse. He cannot bare himself to find another muse, you are his only muse. How could an artist like him, ever survive without his dearest muse? His inspiration? The beauty of his life?

X — Xtra headcanon 𝄞≛

Ratio has soooooo many drawings and sculptures of you. In every notebook of his, you’ll find a small doodle or a beautiful sketch of yourself. Even if you stumble upon all his sculptures, you’re bound to find a few of yourself in different poses. What you notice about these drawings though, is that he erases something on your ring finger. Even on his sculptures, you could notice small bumps on your ring finger, as if there was something there but he removed it...

Y — What’s in their list of ‘Yuck!’ things 𝄞≛

Undereducated people. If you had trouble in learning due to some mental issue or if you never even been to school, he’ll apologize and help you out. If you’re sloppy and undereducated out of your own laziness, he’d definitely not like that... And I think he would subconsciously make that a bit apparent...

Z — How do they zzz 𝄞≛

He sleeps like a log! Super damn straight, you wonder if he’s breathing or not? You have to sit there besides him for a while, watching his chest go up and down before you sigh of relief to yourself that he is indeed alive and not dead. He sleeps like a total vampire or dead person! When he’s very, very tired though. He might accidentally end up holding you while he’s sleeping. Wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back closer to his chest<3

—————————

oh god this is WAY longer than I expected uh oh😭 I SWEAR MY FAVOURITE IS AVENTURINE AND NOT RATIO, I SWEAR OM IT PLS...i might do a fanfic of the extra headcanon...it’s so cute...

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (Special Chapter)

ー☆ Special Chapter: High In Low Places

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cussing ー☆ Word count: 8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hello, loveliees! As promised, you won't have to wait so much for updates anymore! ^^ I am so-so curious of what you will think of this chapter, I think it has a special place in my heart. I think I could have written it much better, but this is how it turned out, I hope it's still good. Before you start reading, I'd like to point out that reader (y/n) in this chapter is referred to as: she/her! ^^ Listen to High In Low Places before or while reading this chapter, and check out the author's note at the end of the chapter as well, it's important hehe! Let me know your thoughts and as always, I hope you enjoy, happy reading! divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf @hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

Mingi’s POV:

            The studio apartment Mingi can afford for himself isn’t the biggest, let alone the fanciest, but it’s a nice home. It’s cozy now that he’s finally decorated it to his liking. Yunho always complained about the emptiness of the walls whenever he came over, so now, they are decorated with prints of Mingi’s favorite artists, musicians, and anime posters. Yeah, Mingi, apparently, is still into anime. It appears so that his mother’s ‘predictions’ of him outgrowing his ‘phase’—ironically, she’s said this both about his ‘phases’ when he got into anime and on the day he finally mustered up the courage to tell her that he wanted to become a musician—so, to put it simply, yes, Mingi is still into anime at the fragile age of twenty-three, and yes, he will always be into anime, even at the not so fragile age of seventy-five.

However, about the musician part…if Noir Zenith have a break-through and make it into the industry, all of Mingi’s dreams will be accomplished. Well, most of his dreams. He fears he cannot beat the record of eating seventy-six hot dogs in ten minutes—what an accomplishment it would be though. Mingi knows he’s good—surprisingly, around two years ago, he finally started believing in himself—and he has a silver of hope that if Noir Zenith don’t make it big, he can have a successful solo career still. His professors say so, at least, and so does Yunho. The second person who’s opinion counts the most to Mingi. The first would be his professors’ opinions—and maybe hers, but Mingi isn’t yet ready for that conversation. Not that there needs to be a conversation about it. Yeah, Mingi is pretty hardcore into her and sometimes he wonders if others can see it. If she can see it.

She’s like an enigma, hard to read, yet, at the same time an open book. That’s how Mingi sees her, at least. He thinks he’s never met such a complex and beautiful person inside out. He wonders if she wouldn’t have been so animus towards him at the beginning, whether they could have started out as something other than friends—considering the wishful fantasy that she did recognize the progress that’s been made between them, leading to a potential friendship. At least that’s how Mingi sees things. He wants more, of course he does, but he will never force her into doing something she’s not comfortable with. Maybe she’ll never like him the way he likes her, and that’s fine with Mingi. He can sit back and support her from the shadows if that means he gets to see her happy and content with herself and her life.

Will it absolutely crush his heart and turn him into the emo boy he was back in highschool? Absolutely. Does that stop him from silently yearning for her to return his feelings at the end of each day? No, it doesn’t. But that’s just who Mingi is. A sore loser who loves deeply, cares about everyone else first before he cares about himself, sacrifices himself for them and regularly throws himself under the bus for these people. Maybe that’s why having Yunho as his best friend is such a blessing in disguise. Yunho had taught him a few tricks, helped him become more independent and less sacrificial—but you know, Mingi could never fully get rid of that core part of his personality.

He's cooped up at his makeshift studio at home—really, it’s just a large oak desk pushed up against the wall of his bedroom, a mixer and laptop placed on it with tons of notebooks and scattered pencils around, his expensive headset that was totally a gift from Yunho when he started university, and his shitty microphone that he should change soon if he wants to keep producing at home—and then there’s a distant rumble in the distance, the storm is coming back. It’s been raining quite often lately, and Mingi hates the rain. He prefers to cozy up underneath his favorite blanket—yeah, it’s totally yellow and it totally has chicks on it, sue him, it was a gift from Wooyoung, after all, for his birthday two years ago—and whenever it rains, Mingi likes to drink some hot chocolate and watch a really sappy movie. If he cries, no, he doesn’t, at least he wouldn’t admit it to anyone—maybe Seonghwa, but that would be embarrassing still. He has an electronic piano in his living room snuggled up in the corner of the room, taking up quite the place of his already small enclosure, but Mingi is a musician, he needs his instruments at hand at all times. Hence the three guitars lining his wall in his bedroom, behind his back, as he’s currently clicking through folders on his laptop.

He needs to work on his music—he’s behind on two assignments, and the thing is, Mingi’s been inspired often lately, and so, there are many unfinished lyrics and beats waiting for him to return to and complete them, but most require of him to be in a certain mood. Like the one he is in right now, jittery a little bit, and maybe caffeinated to the point he should make sure his heart wouldn’t bail on him. Fear not, though, it’s not his first time. After all, Mingi is a university student and this is nothing compared to the three all-nighters he pulled one after the other last year after he procrastinated badly. If it wasn’t for Seonghwa and his worrisome nature—okay, maybe Mingi wouldn’t be here right now, but he tends to stop his brain from straying towards thoughts as such. He’s had dark moments in his life before, and recalling them would completely destroy his mood.

As he clicks open another folder, Mingi pauses. Okay, so, the thing is…Mingi is a loser. And he’s so deep in this unclear relationship—friendship—that’s got his mind preoccupied lately, that if anyone were to see the folder with her name in his laptop—yeah, he’d be mortified. You see, these songs aren’t about her, per se—they totally are, but Mingi is a scared loser and he won’t admit it just yet—these songs are for her. You know, from a friend to a friend—he hasn’t dedicated any songs to Yunho yet, but let’s ignore that detail—and Mingi really hopes that one day she’ll be able to listen to these totally friendly songs that aren’t about her. Yeah.

Mingi opens the newest folder and his eyes fall on the latest documents he’s been working on. He had composed the beat for this song a while ago, when he was still unsure whether Seonghwa and Wooyoung would be up to explore something that is more indie, but now it’s been the center of his attention for a while now. For two weeks, precisely. He’s meticulous when it comes to lyrics writing, it’s an irritating defect he has, at least that’s how he sees it. But his professors always praise him for how lyric and poetic, at times, his lyrics are, so he takes pride in that and tries not to get mad at himself for taking so long to finish one goddamn lyrics.

He licks his plush lips and pushes up his glasses on the bridge of his nose as they were close to slipping off. And sue him, really do so, but he has noticed her staring at his glasses quite often. And her eyebrows always furrow just a little, deep eyes hyper fixating on his nose and glasses. Mingi can’t say for sure, but he’s pretty sure she’s bothered by his lack of unbotheredness whether his glasses are slipping off his nose or not. Sometimes he forgets he’s wearing his glasses, that’s why. He clicks on the document and it opens, so he takes his headphones and puts them on, pursing his lips as he grabs one of his notebook’s and a pencil.

‘Me and you/Me and you are fireproof’ – The beat starts off simple, nothing too crazy or jumpy. Mingi wanted the beats to be calm and chill, kind of crawl in your ears at the first listen. His raspy voice is smooth too, void of its usual raspiness this time. He can rarely control that, but after much experimenting, Mingi realized if he loosens his throat enough and sings deep in his throat, his voice comes out softer and less raspy.

‘Always try to blame my youth/I just wanna be your muse’ – The beat is steady, Seonghwa will love the fact that he gets to play the drums so early into the song, and Mingi’s voice drops significantly. He loves playing with intonations, he loves putting emotion into his words, into his voice. It’s like a play for him, a game of playing hide and seek with whichever emotion he wants to show or mask through his voice. Right now, it’s sultry, it’s breathy, and it’s exactly the way he’s intended it to be.

‘Neon light leads us to the end of time/'Cause I can see infinity in your eyes, in your eyes’ – Mingi closes his eyes as he lets the music take over him, pencil tapping against his notebook rhythmically. And he’s taken by his own words, finding himself relating to them more and more as days pass by. Whenever he closes his eyes, he can see hers, deep and dark in its color, blending in with his, always holding his gaze fiercely. Mingi’s been told that he’s an intimidating person at first glance—eyes, nose, cheekbones sharp—his face expressive and rarely hiding how he’s truly feeling, but that’s just first impressions, because Mingi is anything but cold or unfriendly. And whenever she holds his gaze, Mingi cannot help but try to ignore the way his heart jumps in his chest, pulse quickening. And whenever she smirks or her eyes crinkle from her laughter, Mingi thinks he’s getting deeper and deeper into this mess he’s created for himself.

‘You and I got some troubles we're facing/I know we can make it staying high in low places’ – The beat drops for a second, and then the instruments are back with Mingi’s voice, accompanying each other well, the rhythm picking up just slightly. Mingi can feel the words crawling together in his brain now, his body jittery again as he grins, gripping his pencil tighter. The chorus is good, but he hasn’t been able to write past it, but it’s coming to him right now.

‘Never mind all the tears that we wasted/I know we can make it staying high in low places (ooh)’ – And Mingi remembers the night he found her in his favorite diner, looking like she’s been crying for a while now, eyes rimmed red and nose and cheeks flushed. The rain had soaked her clothes, her hair sticking to her face, and Mingi swears he hasn’t seen anyone more beautiful than her. He wishes he knew when it all started, this—infatuation he feels towards her—but he’s clueless. Or maybe he’s not, maybe he’s just afraid to admit that he’s seen her around campus before and found her breathtaking. Maybe Mingi always has had his eyes on her and has just opted to remain in the shadows, because quite frankly, he sucks at approaching people and initiating anything. And maybe the day Wooyoung showed him pictures of Seulgi on her Instagram account, he had spotted her next to Seulgi, maybe Mingi’s heart had started racing with a stupid flicker of hope in it. Maybe Mingi really is on the brink of dropping a random ass confession onto her, but he knows she’s not ready, and he’d hate himself if he ever made her feel uncomfortable. He knows someone has hurt her gravely, and he wants things to go right this time. He can’t fuck it up.

‘In your arms, in your arms (ooh)/High in low places’ – Mingi thinks she can take him higher than anyone else, show him a whole new world. If there’s one thing he thinks can compete with her beauty and wits, it’s her art. Mingi doesn’t know much about fine art and paintings, but he knows goddam well that whoever that Monet guy was that she loves so much had nothing on her—and as you can see, Mingi is down bad, because Claude Monet was, and still is, a legend of Impressionism.

Mingi ruffles his dark hair, it’s gotten a little longer, and adjust his glasses again before he grins, jotting down the next words that will turn into the lyrics of his song. He’s composed the song with Seonghwa and Wooyoung’s timbre in mind, and he knows their voices will fit beautifully, complete it with a harmony that his unfortunately lacks. But that’s the beauty of their band. Each one of them has a particular charm that the other one lacks and they complement each other in a subtle, yet obviously gorgeous way—and well, Mingi isn’t a narcissist, but he is a Leo, and he can’t deny that their looks aren’t eye catching as well, definitely another asset of theirs that just so happens to add to the charm of Noir Zenith. – ‘Wasted days/Wasted 'til we're MIA/Stuck inside a desert haze/I just want to slip away’

Friday (11:30 am)

Me: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)

            Mingi was restless. He thought that when had texted her that he got home safely—you know, after they hung out at her place, waiting for the rain to stop while killing the time by watching a movie and they have almost kissed—Mingi really thought she was just busy. And he still thinks so, because why would she ignore his messages? He’s texted her a few times already and she didn’t even bother to read them. Mingi wasn’t expecting anything from her, wasn’t trying to push her, but he was a little bit restless now. Sue him, but he couldn’t help himself. He took another glance at his phone, waiting for his messages to be read, for her to finally start typing back, but there was nothing. And the fact that her contact name stared back at him as if it was mocking him wasn’t helping with Mingi’s racing thoughts. He was an overthinker, after all. In case you were wondering, Mingi has saved her in his phone as: her (my artsy girl).

Yeah, maybe Mingi was a lot more into her than he had realized at first. But to be fair, there was nothing wrong about saving her like that. She is an artsy girl, and she’s—Mingi doesn’t want to elaborate on that just yet. And so, he’s pacing up and down in his not so big living room, walking around his couch and glancing down at his phone every few seconds. Okay, he’s effectively going crazy right now and he wants to pull out his hair. Which isn’t a smart idea, he fears his handsomeness stops at him going bald. And okay, maybe he’s spiraling. Maybe his heart is about to fall into his ass, and maybe he’s trying to take deep breaths in order to not pass out. Maybe Mingi is handling the radio silence horribly. Actually, make that horrifyingly bad, that’s how he’s not handling all this.

If he stops for a second and takes a deep breath, ripping his glasses off in frustration and rubs at his eyes quite painfully, he can feel it all coming back. The warm feeling he’s felt while they settled into her bed, the way his eyes lingered on her pursed lips as she searched for a movie to watch. And her room—let him not even get started on her room, Mingi fell in love with it. It’s just so her that he feels like he knows her a lot better now that she’s allowed him inside her safe place. Her drawings and paintings were breathtaking. He—he saw the drawing laying on her bed, sketchbook all open and shit, and yeah, he fought every muscle in his body to not grin and jump up and down in excitement at the replica of him in her own sketchbook. Mingi knew she would draw him sometimes, but now he’s wondering just how often she finds herself drawing him. Does that mean she thinks of him often? Or does she just simply get carried away and mindlessly draws whatever person comes to mind first? But if that’s the case, why would he come to her mind when she wasn’t even fixating on him?

Mingi is a mess, alright, he’s panicking. He’s panicking because he can still feel the ghost of her warm breath against his cheek, the feel of her soft skin. He was right there; the opportunity had been beautifully given to him—and he does not regret not kissing her. Yeah, he kissed the corner of her lips, because he wanted it to be her choice whether they actually kiss or not. Don’t get Mingi wrong, if it were after him, he fears he would have devoured her ages ago, but after so many years of struggling with his own emotions, he became really good at restraining himself, at having control over himself in tense situations. It’s both a curse and blessing in disguise, because he really just should have kissed her, dammit. Why is he such a considerate gentleman? They didn’t even kiss and she’s ignoring him now. Great job Mingi, you tried to avoid a disaster only for it to still become reality. Sometimes, he hates himself, but he thinks that’s okay. Everybody hates themselves a little bit at times, even if they deny it.

Mingi chews on his bottom lip and decides to place his phone face down on his couch and meditate—Mingi doesn’t know how to meditate. The air is chilly outside and maybe he forgot to pay some bills so his heater isn’t exactly working at the moment, but fear not, Mingi is a big boy—he’s a man, alright—and he will pay his bills. Tomorrow. So, due to this itsy bitsy tiny little fact, he might be bundled up in his sweater. Well…the sweater’s his now. It wasn’t his two days ago. It was her cousin’s, more precisely, but since she gave it to Mingi, it’s his now. And if he wears it almost every day, no, he doesn’t. It bogs his mind a little bit that it just so happens to resemble the same sweater Yunho used to love, to the point his mother had to hide it from him, that’s how often he’d wear it—and maybe this is another factor that makes Mingi cling to it that much more. Maybe the fact that it’s from someone he really likes, and the fact that it makes him remember someone he really loves, fucks with his mind. Especially if seasonal depression is hitting hard. He’s trying to fight it; he’s trying to do better—he’s promised Yunho and himself that he’d do better—but he feels his chest get heavy, and he hopes Seonghwa hurries his ass over before he can spiral even further into the madness his thoughts bring with themselves.

And Seonghwa, like the angel he is, does indeed save Mingi from the doom that has been looming over his head. There’s a knock at Mingi’s door and he jumps up from the couch, racing to the door. He makes it there in three long strides, his apartment really isn’t that huge. Seonghwa is smiling at him softly as Mingi opens the door for him, and so very out of character, Mingi lunges for his close friend and engulfs him in a tight hug, “Thank you for coming.”

Seonghwa is speechless and frozen for a second, but then he chuckles, “My, my, my, you must have been really lonely if you’re so happy to be in my company.”

“I’m always happy and eager to be in your company, Hwa.” Mingi says with a pout and makes way for his friend to step inside. Seonghwa chuckles, his round eyes twinkling under the light of Mingi’s lamp. It’s barely noon but rain clouds are gathering outside once again, and Mingi hates it with all of his soul. Why is it raining so much lately? Isn’t it supposed to snow, rather? It is almost the end of November, after all.

“I know.” Seonghwa whispers as he ruffles Mingi’s hair, having shaken off his coat and discarded his shoes at the door, he walks further inside Mingi’s apartment. He’s been here plenty of times, and he knows he can make himself at home and do whatever. Mingi doesn’t really mind. Seonghwa has a tote bag in his hands as he nears Mingi’s round table in the kitchen area—Mingi’s living room and kitchen are just one big room, divided by nothing—and Seonghwa starts emptying his bag onto the table. Mingi walks closer, peaking at the items Seonghwa has brought over. Dye and bleach. Okay, maybe Mingi’s at the brink of a lapse of judgement, but he knew Seonghwa wouldn’t bat an eyelash if he randomly called him up and asked him to help him change up his hair. Mingi’s been wanting a change for a while now, it’s almost unfortunate that she is the one that pushed him into enough ‘madness’ to finally do it. She is a catalyst for quite a few things happening in Mingi’s life right now, or so he had noticed.

“Are you sure you want to bleach your hair, Mingi?” Seonghwa’s voice carries doubt as Mingi leans his hip against the table, grabbing the bleach out of Seonghwa’s hands.

“Yup, pretty sure about it.” He mutters, his lips pursed as he turns the box over a few times.

“How come?” Seonghwa mirrors his pose, hips resting against the table and arms crossed in front of his chest. He has that critical look on his face, and Mingi considers for a second if it was smart to ask Seonghwa over Wooyoung to help him. Wooyoung is nosy, but at least he can be easily distracted. Seonghwa, however, he presses and presses until he gets the truth out of you. Mingi sometimes hates that, there are no secrets in front of Seonghwa, yet he holds too many secrets.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, actually.” Mingi tries to sound nonchalant as he absentmindedly lets his fingers run through his dark locks.

“But?” Seonghwa raises one eyebrow and Mingi’s lips purse as he averts his eyes.

“Can you not interrogate me this time?” Mingi’s voice is whiney, nothing Seonghwa isn’t used to, “I just really need a change, no big deal.”

“Okay, fine, I believe you.” But Seonghwa doesn’t sound completely convinced as he says that, and Mingi offers him a very fake grin, smile boxy and full of teeth. It makes Seonghwa chuckle as he takes the bleach out of Mingi’s hands, and grabs his tote bag before he makes his way to Mingi’s bathroom. Like a puppy, Mingi follows after him as he grabs the dye, and turns on the light switch for Seonghwa as he places everything in his hands down on Mingi’s counter in the bathroom, “Silver blonde, then?”

Mingi hums and closes the lid of toilet, sitting on it as he watches his friend, “It’ll be a hard process though, I don’t promise I’ll be able to pull it off right away.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind.” Mingi shrugs, fiddling with his fingers in his lap, “You’re pretty great at these type of things, I trust you.”

“Yeah, well, Hongjoong didn’t see my vision when I dyed his hair half blonde and half black.” Seonghwa huffs under his breath, still pretty salty about his boyfriend not liking the look as much as Seonghwa, and quite literally everyone else around him did. Mingi chuckles, still remembering Seonghwa sulk for a few days because of it. It was endearing how much Hongjoong’s opinion mattered to Seonghwa. When the two were together, Seonghwa’s eyes sparkled, and his skin glowed, his laughter more frequent, and disposition overall just happier. And Hongjoong—Mingi’s known him for four months now, that’s how long the two had been dating for—and despite Hongjoong trying to remain impassive around his lover, it was so very obvious of how in love he was with the taller one. Hongjoong rarely smiled, but when he was with Seonghwa, his cheeks would hurt and flush a light shade of red. Mingi quite quickly realized Hongjoong loved looking at Seonghwa, his eyes somehow always straying onto his lover, lingering there with profound love written all over his face. Mingi was witness to the almost disastrous end of their—at that time—short lived relationship as Seonghwa’s insecurities got the best of him and drew him away from Hongjoong. But Hongjoong didn’t give up, and partially thanks to Mingi—and Wooyoung—here they were now, happy and in love, looking forward to many more years together.

“Hongjoong is quite daft at times.” Mingi finds himself saying as he rolls his eyes, making Seonghwa pause his actions as he looks at Mingi sharply.

“You would never dare say that to his face.” And Seonghwa was right, Mingi would rather shit himself than badmouth Hongjoong to his face. That man might be shorter than Mingi himself, but he’s certain Hongjoong would drag him through all levels of hell and embarrass him to the point he’d be on the verge of tears—simpler put, Hongjoong is ruthless and sharp, and Mingi is scared of him.

“Of course, I wouldn’t dare say that to his face,” Mingi shudders, making Seonghwa almost smile, “He’d make me suffer in my next life too, if I did.”

“Serves you right for always talking shit about others.” Seonghwa chuckles, making Mingi scoff.

“I don’t even do that, hey, I’m just honest.”

“And dumb, but what’s new.”

            And just like that, Mingi finds himself half an hour later sitting on the cold tiles of his bathroom floor with Seonghwa, second round of bleach all set on his hair and burning just a little bit his scalp—Seonghwa reassured him multiple times that he wouldn’t go bald, but Mingi is still skeptical about it. A little bit too late for that now, I guess. Seonghwa had placed two towels on Mingi’s shoulders, one at the front and one at the back, to protect Mingi’s sweater in case the bleach dropped on it, and they were kind of dragging down Mingi’s sweater’s collar, but he wouldn’t complain about it just yet. They would be taking the bleach off soon, and he knows Seonghwa would go off on him for whining when all of this was Mingi’s idea in the first place. Music is playing softly in the background, and Mingi tsks as Seonghwa accidentally overlines his pinky nail, smudging his skin too with black nail polish.

“You’re so bad at this, Hwa.” Mingi groans, grimacing as Seonghwa’s tongue is stuck out as he concentrates on painting Mingi’s nails black. They were far from perfect, and Mingi’s heart mourns for a second, until he realizes it kind of looks cool. Edgy. Maybe Seonghwa is onto something.

“Yeah, because it’s usually Hongjoong who paints our nails, and not me.” Seonghwa’s gaze is sharp as he throws Mingi a look, Seonghwa’s own nails painted, but an obnoxious neon pink. It is a little bit out of Mingi’s comfort zone, but Seonghwa said he liked the color and wanted to try it out. And who is Mingi to judge? Plus, he would’ve been a really bad friend if he didn’t do as his close friend wished.

“Okay, done!” Seonghwa grins, closing the black nail polish and putting it aside, “We should wash out the bleach too, before you actually go bald—”

“Seonghwa!” Mingi screeches, getting to his feet in an instant as he faces the mirror on his wall, gaping at himself. His hair is a yellowish color; however it is turning whiter by the second.

“I’m just kidding.” Seonghwa snickers, and then, as if a bulldozer hit the side of the building of Mingi’s apartment complex, his front door is thrown open, and a loud screech resounds through the open door of his bathroom.

“I’ve arrived!” Undoubtedly, the high-pitched voice belongs to none other than their dear friend, Wooyoung, “And I’ve got pizza!”

“Lock the door!” Seonghwa calls out as Mingi leans over his bathtub, letting Seonghwa rinse out the bleach tenderly from his hair. Finally, Mingi’s scalp had felt like it was on fire, but he was too scared to let Seonghwa know. Now, he prays his fair won’t fall out completely. There is shuffling outside the door and then, Wooyoung in all of his glory, barrels through the open door.

“Damn, it smells like poisonous gases in here.” He gags, placing the pizza boxes on the floor as he beelines it for the small window, “And your music sucks.”

“Fuck off!” Mingi hisses, twisting his arm to give Wooyoung his middle finger, “Limp Bizkit is a great band!”

“Yeah, if you like noise.” Wooyoung huffs and suddenly the music is stopped, making Mingi groan as Seonghwa just chuckles, massaging the strawberry smelling soap into his hair.

“You are the noise here, Wooyoung.” Mingi fires back, making Seonghwa snort loudly as Wooyoung puts on some pop music, making Mingi groan. He isn’t in the mood to listen to pop music right now.

“Stop bickering,” Seonghwa says, rinsing the soap out of Mingi’s hair, “and feed me some pizza, Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung happily obliges as he opens one box, a slice already missing as he had eaten it on his way up to Mingi’s apartment, and he takes a slice for Seonghwa. He walks over to his two friends, and before he can feed Seonghwa, Wooyoung throws his left arm around Seonghwa’s waist and nuzzles up against his back, making Seonghwa sway and spray the side of Mingi’s face with water.

“Hey!” Mingi yelps as water enters his nose, making Wooyoung cackle into Seonghwa’s back as he hides his face in his friend’s back, inhaling Seonghwa’s familiar scent. Wooyoung can be a complete menace at times, but Mingi and Seonghwa would never admit they love him the way he is. It is hard not to when Wooyoung is such a good and respectful person.

“Oops, my bad!” Wooyoung giggles as he finally releases Seonghwa and holds pizza slice up to his mouth as Seonghwa takes a bite while putting conditioner in Mingi’s hair.

“You can see yourself out if you’re only here to disturb our piece of mind—Wooyoung!” Mingi, it seemed like, is Wooyoung’s target for the day as he had slaps Mingi’s ass hard, enjoying the way he is bent forward and over the bathtub. It makes Seonghwa laugh loudly, the cute sound has Mingi giggling too, and in no time, the three of them are shaking with laughter, reveling in each other’s company. There is nothing more healing to Mingi than spending his time with his closest friends—and Yunho, of course.

『In your arms, in your arms

Staying high in low places』

            More days passed and Mingi was helpless. He really doesn’t understand whether he has done something so deeply wrong to deserve this—to be ignored by her. It’s Sunday, and his texts weren’t even read. He thought of calling her, but ultimately talked himself down and found something else to do. Like write his sappy lyrics that is about her. Okay, Mingi has to admit this one. He feels like he is going crazy, and the problem is that he could talk about it to someone, but he just doesn’t want to. Not yet, at least. He is scared if he says it out loud, it would become reality. Her, leaving him. Not that they are together or anything, but Mingi just simply doesn’t want to lose the friendship that’s blossomed between them over the month. It was gradual and not sudden, he knew she still had some prejudice about him and didn’t fully trust him, but they were making progress. And now Mingi hates himself for the near kiss. If he had been a little bit smarter, more in control of himself, it would’ve never happened. And it kills him that he can’t turn back time, but would it change anything? Would he actually do it differently? Would he when she was looking at him with eyes that were shining with curiosity and want? When her expression was inviting and warm and yearning? Yeah, no, Mingi has self-control, but not to the point to stop himself from giving in when someone looked to be wanting just as much as him. And Mingi has to stop thinking about her, for God’s sake he’s been trying so hard over these past few days that he’s convinced he’s finally going mad, so when Wooyoung texts him that they are going out for dinner later tonight, Mingi jumps in delight and starts getting ready.

And they go to his favorite diner too—where him and her had met, and she was all wet from the rain and crying due to something unknown to Mingi—and he has to stop thinking about her when he’s with his friends! The atmosphere is light and cozy, lightning dim but not to the point you can’t see, and the music playing is retro and if Mingi turns around, he can see an elderly couple dance around happily, laughing and talking to each other. His stomach coils at the sight, and he tries to fight the yearning and sadness that tries to overtake him, he really does.

“So, Seonghwa,” Wooyoung breaks Mingi’s intense gaze and mindless thoughts, “how’s that art gallery looking?”

Seonghwa blushes for a second, and hides his mouth behind his palm as he tries to chew his chicken nugget faster, “Good, good. I found a spot for it, finally.”

Wooyoung beams at that and Mingi can see Hongjoong trying to bite down his smirk, “That’s amazing! Why haven’t you said anything?!”

“He thinks he’s gloating if he says anything,” It’s Hongjoong who answers instead of Seonghwa, and his answer makes both Mingi and Wooyoung roll their eyes at his words, “He thinks everything he’s achieved lately isn’t because of his own merit—”

“Hongjoong!” Seonghwa flushes even more, his cheeks already tinged pink from the alcohol he had consumed during the evening, “Why would you say that to them?!”

“So that there’s someone else other than me praising you for your hard work and letting you know that you are the reason these things are happening to you, my love.” Wooyoung pretends to gag when he hears the endearing words leave Hongjoong’s mouth, but Mingi just smiles and takes a sip of his own beer. It’s been a while since he had drunk, he felt the need tonight. He had hoped it would help him unwind—it wasn’t working so far.

“You need to stop having this impostor syndrome, Hwa.” Mingi hears himself talking, eyebrows furrowed as he steals a fry off of Wooyoung’s plate. The shorter one makes a sound of displeasure, and in a petty revenge, steals a pickle off of Mingi’s plate.

“Let’s stop talking about me, please.” Seonghwa says with a sigh, eyebrows furrowing, and it’s obvious he isn’t feeling comfortable. Mingi pretends he doesn’t see Hongjoong place his hand on Seonghwa’s thigh and squeeze. Mingi pretends he doesn’t suddenly feel a pang of jealousy towards the couple. They worked through their differences and doubts, and here they were, in love and going forward. Why could Mingi not have that too? Why did everyone abandon Mingi in the end? His parents told him he had to fend for himself if he chose to be a musician, and if it weren’t for his grandparents funding him until he has finished university—he doesn’t want to think where he’d be. Yunho had once abandoned him too, left him alone in this city, letting him unknowingly almost destroy himself. Wooyoung, now, has Seulgi and he spends a significant amount of his time with her, and is rarely up for their schedules gaming nights, Mingi feels abandoned. Seonghwa is like he has always been like, but he’s not as spontaneous as before. Sometimes Mingi just wants to go on night drives and listen to music and Seonghwa isn’t available because of Hongjoong anymore, Mingi feels abandoned.

“How’s the deal with the label going?” Hongjoong speaks up after the prolonged silence, not uncomfortable by any means, and Mingi heaves a sigh as he downs his beer in one go. Wooyoung raises an eyebrow at that.

“We’re still negotiating the terms, payment, and all the gist.” Mingi mutters, placing his chin in his palm. He’s not drunk, nor tipsy, but he feels a light buzz in his head. One more pint and he might just become tipsy.

“I see,” Hongjoong hums, rubbing his lower lip with two fingers, “But they’re treating you well, right?”

Hongjoong, as usual, is wearing fancy clothes. It’s a Sunday evening, yet he’s dressed to the nines. Mingi feels a little uncomfortable because of that—and just what’s his problem?! What’s gotten into him today? He’s never been like this before; he feels annoyed at himself.

“Yeah, yeah.” Mingi mutters, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Wooyoung, despite being labeled as someone who talks and talks without paying attention to those around himself, has picked up on Mingi’s displeased mood, and scoots his chair closer to his. He grins widely at Mingi and throws his arm around his friend’s shoulder, pulling Mingi into his side. Mingi doesn’t say anything despite not feeling up for the physical closeness, and allows Wooyoung to pinch his cheek.

“Lighten up, dude, what’s wrong?” Wooyoung asks, but not loud enough for Seonghwa and Hongjoong to hear as they have started softly conversing about something. Seonghwa is smiling, eyes narrowed and the way he’s leaning towards Hongjoong have both Wooyoung and Mingi knowing that he’s saying something inappropriate, and if Hongjoong’s eyes widening isn’t confirmation for Mingi and Wooyoung, then Hongjoong choking on his water certainly is.

“Nothing’s wrong.” Mingi gulps, picking around his food before he steals another fry from Wooyoung’s plate and dips it into his own ketchup, “I think I’m tired.”

“Dude, it’s a Sunday evening, how are you tried?” Wooyoung is confused as he finally releases Mingi, and he tries not to let it show on his face that he’s happy for the separation.

Mingi thinks for a second, though, and makes up a stupid lie, “I still haven’t recovered from yesterday’s game.”

“Right.” Wooyoung doesn’t believe him and it’s nothing new to the both of them, Wooyoung sees right through Mingi’s lies. Everyone does, actually, he can’t lie to save his life, “You know you can talk to me, right?”

“I just—” And Mingi almost goes off, but he abruptly remembers where he is as people start clapping behind him, “Nothing, I’m just tired. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Okay.” Wooyoung whispers while looking disappointed, and Mingi suddenly hates himself for making his friend feel like that. He can’t help but think he’s made Wooyoung feel like he’s not worthy of knowing Mingi’s thoughts, of knowing what his heart desires. And he wants to talk about how much it affects him that she hasn’t texted back—and probably won’t, Mingi came to the realization—but there’s a lump in his throat that is kind of making him choke up right now. And when he hears Seonghwa giggling, and he looks up, Hongjoong is leaning towards Seonghwa with a mischievous look on his face, and then Seonghwa steals a kiss from his boyfriend that makes Hongjoong freeze. Wooyoung is typing away on his phone, and Mingi knows he’s talking to his girlfriend, Seulgi, because who else would Wooyoung be talking to? And the lump in Mingi’s throat tightens and he abruptly stands, heartbeat quickening. His three friends look up at him alarmed, and Mingi’s embarrassed, but he can’t help himself as he grabs his phone off the table and pushes it in his pocket.

“Sorry, guys, I’m not feeling well.” Mingi croaks out, clearing his throat as his tone wavers, “I’ll head home now, you enjoy yourselves.”

“Hey, Mingi,” Hongjoong has concern written all over his face and it makes Mingi almost cry. He hates how sensitive he is, “I can drive you home—”

“That’s cool, man.” Mingi is shaking his head at the offer, he needs fresh air and a long walk to try and clear his mind, otherwise he’ll have a panic attack. He can feel it, and he does not want that.

“Mingi—”

“Seriously.” Before any of his friends could insist more, he throws his jacket on and waves at them. And then he’s out of the diner in a second, feeling a little bit bad for not greeting Dahyun first, but the place feels too stuffy and warm for him to stay inside anymore. He takes off and tries to take deep breaths, but his lungs won’t expand fully. His hands are slightly shaking as he grabs his phone out of his pocket and he unlocks it, staring down at her contact. Nothing, still. Mingi’s heart clenches and he bites his lower lip, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. He can’t do this anymore; he feels like he’s breaking. He doesn’t understand why she won’t at least give him an explanation. Fine, she doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore, but she has to explain why. Mingi won’t rest until he doesn’t know the reason, and it’s making him crawl up a wall. He dials a number before he can even think more about it, and he finds himself teary eyed at the familiar male voice.

“Hey, Ming!” It’s cheery as always, and Mingi knows Yunho is smiling on the other end, “Fancy seeing you call, it’s not like I haven’t heard your voice like—four hours ago.”

“Yunho.” And Mingi feels horrible for worrying Yunho, because the last time he called his best friend and sounded like this—things were bad. And by the way Yunho goes quiet before he gasps quietly, Mingi knows he fucked up and he shouldn’t have called when he feels so all over the place, but he needed to hear his best friend’s voice, he needs Yunho. Because there’s no one else like Yunho in the world. No one else who understand him like Yunho. No one else who knows him like Yunho. No one else who’s always been next to him like Yunho has been. No one else who loves him unconditionally like Yunho does.

“Mingi, what’s wrong?” Yunho sounds panicked and before Mingi can stop himself, a tear falls down his cheek, “Please, talk to me. Do I—do I have to come home? I can drive down right now, but it’ll take two hours—”

“Yunho,” And Mingi’s now crying as he crosses the road quickly, walking to a park that’s dimly lit so he can cry in peace, away from prying eyes—not that there are many people out at this hour, “You don’t—don’t have to come home, I just—I’m so confused, and I’m tired, and I need someone.”

“Mingi, you have me, tell me what’s wrong.” Yunho’s voice is soft and Mingi is grateful they aren’t on facetime, because he’s positive Yunho’s eyes are filled with tears right now, and that would just make him cry harder. He tries to wipe at his cheeks, but the tears just keep coming, and the lump in his throat gets harsher and makes it a little hard to speak, but Mingi powers through.

“I met this girl,” He sniffs loudly and takes a deep breath, and Yunho is quiet, listening closely, “you know her, I’ve talked about her a few times.”

“The girl who paints and draws, right?” Yunho asks just to make sure.

“Yes.” Mingi sniffs, his tears becoming fewer, “And she’s—there was a heavy rain on Thursday and I drove her home before it got that bad, but I would have had to wait for it to pass in my car—but she invited me inside. And it was fine, it was fun and everything went well and then—then I—she—we almost kissed. Her mother got home and she interrupted us, and it’s just, she was a little weird right after it, but—she—she hasn’t texted back since Thursday, Yunho. She didn’t even look at my messages and I sent her plenty. I—I don’t know what to do because I think—I think I like her a lot, Yunho, and I don’t want to lose her over something so banal. We’re not even a thing, we’re just friends, but I—I don’t want to lose her too.”

What a word-vomit, Mingi thinks, as he sniffs loudly and rubs at his nose and cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket, sitting on a bench as he pulls his legs up and hugs them to his chest. Yunho is quiet for a second on the other end, until he sighs long.

“Oh, Mingi,” He sounds sad, and it makes Mingi chew on his bottom lip again, holding back a new flood of tears, “That’s so fucked, what the hell! I know you feel like shit, and I know what you are thinking right now—I’ve known you for my whole life—so, please, stop blaming yourself for her own actions and reactions. You didn’t do anything wrong and she should treat you better. You don’t deserve to be ignored and you do deserve an explanation. I’m sorry I can’t be physically there for you.”

“This is enough.” Mingi whispers, feeling his heart less heavy now that he’s said all that, “It’s enough that you listen to me and reassure me. Hearing your voice is enough too, Yuyu.”

Yunho chuckles on the other end and Mingi cracks the smallest smile, “You’re so sappy, but I’m glad I’m able to help even if I’m not there with you. I would tackle you in a big hug right now and definitely buy your favorite chips and go on a drive with you, if I could.”

Now, that makes Mingi sad again, dammit, “You know what? Maybe you should drive here tonight.”

Yunho snorts, and Mingi stands, determined to walk home now, “I am planning on going home in a few weeks, actually.”

“Why not tomorrow?” Mingi insists, eyebrows furrowing at having to wait that much more. It’s been almost two months since Yunho has come home.

“We’ll, I’ve already got—”

“Stuff to do and shit.” Mingi cuts his best friend off, already knowing what he would say. They snort at the same time and then break into quiet giggles. Mingi is content all of a sudden, head a little clearer and lump from his throat gone, finally.

“I miss you.” Yunho beats Mingi to it, and Mingi smiles from ear to ear as he turns onto his street, he doesn’t live that far away from the diner.

“And I miss you too.” Mingi says it back, tipping his head back as he looks up at the night sky. The sky is finally clear and he can see the stars and the moon. It makes him smile again, Mingi loves the moon a little bit too much, perhaps, “I love you, Yuyu.”

“I love you, Min.”

And to Mingi, there is nothing more therapeutic than talking to his best friend, hearing his voice, being in his presence and able to share his affections towards him. Yunho is too precious to him.

Sunday (1:01 am)

Me: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?

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A/N: So, hi again. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, because I have another surprise for you all hehet. If you are interested in Seonghwa and Hongjoong's story, I can happily tell you that I have created their own spin-off on AO3 and it's called Our Atoms Fusing. It's on-hold currently, but I am happy to announce that I will be picking up writing for that too, and it will have in total around 7~8 parts. So, check it out if interested! ^^ I've kept this a secret for long as I wanted the timing to be right lol, despite the hints I have dropped about them, I am so glad I can finally talk about it. Istg, I'm obsessed with these two, I can't wait to continue their story too! And sorry if there are mistakes, I'm spent lol.

Also, if you happened to notice the mistake I made, no you don't, shhh.

[algea]

Ghoul School

prompt: you, Lucky, Phoebe, Trevor, and Lars go to investigate a spirit infested school, but ends badly for you.

Ummm basically enemies to lovers?? idrk tbh LOL

warnings: idk scary stuff? cussing! sexual tension! um you smoke 1 cigarette and thats it. GORE!!!!!!!

a/n: I’ve been thinking of this since I saw the movie…

*THIS IS A SUPER LONG STORY!!!*

“A school? Are you serious, Lars?” You mutter, running a hand down your face and sighing.

“I wish. What’s your grudge against a school anyway?” Lars said, cocking an eyebrow at you as he turned to look at you.

“Well I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that kids still go there. It makes me sick how they have to experience that while being in an environment where it’s supposed to be safe and welcoming.” You explain, tapping your fingers nervously on your desk. Behind you, Lars sighed,

“Well that’s why we’re going innit? So stop worrying about it so much.” You snapped your head when heard the door open. In trudged a slime covered Trevor, Lucky, and Phoebe.

“Lars, I need your help with something!” Lucky called. Lars stood and strode to her, his eyes lingered on you for a little longer than they should’ve. Trevor had a proton pack on his back, which was slightly smoking from the interior.

"Piece of shit only fizzed when we tried to turn it on, know a way to fix it?" Trevor asked, gazing up at Lars. Lars' face was stone cold, probably because he had to deal with the dumb shit Trevor stirred up.

"First off, it's not a piece of shit. Second off, did you even try to figure it out?" Lars scoffed, eyebrows drawn together in a scowl.

"Give it to me, I'll see what I can do." He sighed, obviously not wanting to deal with him anymore. Trevor basically shoved the proton pack into Lars’ arms, which didn't waiver when he received it. Hot. You thought. Lars trudged to his station and set the proton pack down. He removed the protective covering, and coughed when smoke blasted in his face. You snickered, which earned an unimpressed glare from him. Lucky appeared beside you, ready to talk about what else you've come up with her to test.

"What is it?" She asked, tinkering with the item on the desk.

"You know how there's buckshot for a shotgun? I've figured out how to compress protons into little pellets and create a buckshot-type stream." You explained, showing her how it would work on a sheet of paper. You heard Lars muttering about something, though you brushed it off. You handed Lucky a few pellets, which contained about 12 rounds of buckshot each. She eagerly shot off into the test room, excited to try it out. With nothing else to do, you shuffled behind Lars, peering over his shoulder to watch his hands work efficiently. Lars really didn't know you were there, truly he didn't. So when he turned around to go get something from his desk, he jumped back.

"Good Christ you scared the shit out of me!" Lars exclaimed, putting a hand on his chest and letting out a big sigh. He shoved his glasses back up his face and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry! I just wanted to watch you work..." You trailed off, staring at the ground in embarrassment.

"Well maybe next time maybe fucking keep to yourself." He snapped, brushing past you, his hand grazing yours. You just stood there, hands clenched and cheeks burning in embarrassment. Phoebe stood next to you, putting a hand on your arm and whispering,

"It's ok, really, he doesn't mean it."

You couldn't help the tear that slithered down your cheek. Blinking away the rest of the tears, you muttered an 'excuse me' and walked outside of the lab. Taking a left, you headed through the doors to the cool breeze outside. Stuffing your hand in you pocket, your hand found purchase on the cig case you had. Sliding one out of it and grabbing your lighter, you lit the cig up and shoved the lighter back into your left pocket. You sat against the wall and pulled your knees to your chest. Hearing the doors open, you see Trevor walk out. He spots you and slides down the wall, sitting next to you.

"It's not your fault. It really isn't." Trevor offered, watching you let out a sigh, smoke going with it. You laugh, dragging a hand down your face.

"Listen, don't ever fall in love, man. Shit sucks." You sighed, resting your head against the cool brick. Trevor started to say something but the rest of the three burst through the doors. Lars was wearing his red jacket, walking towards the car. Lucky was carrying yours in her arm, right on the heels of Lars. He spotted you and Trevor sitting down against the wall. Trevor hopped up, offering you a kind hand. You took it, cigarette still in hand.

"Put that shit out." Lars commanded, crossing his arms. You glared at him before taking a long drag and blowing the smoke out. You dropped the rest on the ground, twisting your foot against it which successfully put it out.

"Happy?" You huffed, throwing your arms out in surrender. He just stared at you before pushing past you to get to the car. 'Bitch' You mutter under your breath. God he’s insufferable. Following them, you hopped into the passage seat. Lucky handed you your red jacket, which you put on before you buckled up. You zipped it up all the way burying your face in the collar. Lars watched you from his peripheral, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

“Are gonna stare or drive the goddamn car?” You snapped, turning to gaze at him. His hand tightened on the wheel and started to drive.

To say that Lars was a good driver was a pretty big overstatement. You were even lucky you made it to the school alive, much less in once piece.

“You are never ever driving again, Lars.” You said, stumbling out of the car as a wave of nausea hits you.

“Stuff it.” He replied, pushing up his broken glasses. You turned your gaze to the school, which stood ominously in the distance. You shivered, which didn’t go unnoticed by Lars. He took a small step closer to you, his hand ghosting the small of your back. You jumped slightly at his feather touch, but relished it. Lars flicked on your switch, making your proton pack hum with the familiar ‘whirring’ sound. You walked to the front steps, pushing open the two massive double wooden doors. You were blasted by a cold air, which you stumbled back from.

“S-shit.” You muttered, hands shaking ever so slightly. You reached for your flashlight, but froze when you saw a shadow figure dart through the darkness.

“Lars.” You whispered, a lump forming in your throat. Lars was off busy helping the others get their packs on, which meant you were the only one at the front. You felt something tugging you forward. You stumbled back into the school following the tugging sensation to a room downstairs.

Lars looked up, about to ask you something, when he noticed you were gone.

“Where the bloody hell did Y/N go?” He asked, looking around. His question was answered when he heard your frantic screams coming from inside of the building. They all looked at each other, then bolted to the building.

The building was absolutely freezing. That you were certain of. The frigid temperature fucked a little with your head, at least that’s what you can conclude. You found that being able to see in the dark was not your forte, which caused you to fall down a flight of stairs.

“OH FUCKING SHIT—!” You screech, tumbling down the stairs. You landed with your head cracking against the cold floor. Groaning, you tried to lift your head, but you felt like you were spinning like a top. You eventually stood, swaying slightly after. You blinked a few times, holding your head in your hands. In the corner of your eye, you could see another shadow figure. It was tall, tall enough to reach the ceiling. It started to approach you, but you let out a scream, starting to run back up the stairs. You felt a push, then you tumbled back down the stairs, smashing your head into the pavement again. You landed on your knee, successfully snapping the bone in your shin. You let out another bloodcurdling scream, spitting out blood in the process.

You felt lightheaded as blood spilled from your shin and lips, dribbling down your chin and neck. You were in too much pain to cry as you crumpled to the floor again. You heard all three of them yelling your name, but you couldn’t yell back. Instead, you pulled yourself across the floor, leaving a long streak of blood as you went. With as much effort as you could muster, you pulled yourself to the steps. It took everything for you to scream,

“LARS!!!”

Footsteps could be heard, which sounded like heavy boots clomping towards you. You clawed at the steps, trying to grip anything that you could to pull yourself up. The blond man appeared in the doorway, shining a flashlight down the stairwell. Lars hair was tousled, eyes wide. You make out how he was panting, as well as a horrified look painted across his face.

“oh my god.” Was all he said. He rushed down the stairwell to get you. You couldn’t make out much of anything, you kept fading in and out of consciousness. His hands, his strong and elegant hands held your face as he tried to keep you awake. Your breaths became labored again as you felt extreme pain rippling through your limbs. You let out another scream, which was muffled by Lars chest as he picked you up and started to rush you outside. One of his hands found purchase in your hair, gently stroking it with his thumb as he ran to the car.

Lars felt like it took years to make it to the hospital. His red jacket was drenched in your blood, but he couldn’t care less about what he looked like as he rushed you into the ER. Immediately after, you were rushed into a room, where you would reside for God knows how long. Lars sat next to Lucky, his face grim. He didn’t care how long he had to wait to see you again, just as long as he could see you. Lars stayed there all night, into the morning to be able to see you. When they told him that he could see you, he ran to your room as fast as he could. There you laid, eyes closed, face peaceful. When you heard the footsteps, you opened your eyes and found the blond man standing in your doorway.

“Bloody hell, I thought I’d never see you again.” Lars breathed as he approached your right side. Your hand lay limp on the top of the bedsheet. He brought up a chair and sat, taking your hand and lacing his fingers with yours.

“I was so scared that you were going to die, I couldn’t bear to see it.” He further explained. You smiled weakly and croaked,

“Are you being nice right now? That’s so unlike you Lars.”

Before you said anything else, Lars pressed a kiss to your lips. It wasn’t your ideal first kiss with him, but you relished the feeling.

“I didn’t save you because I thought it was the good thing to do, I saved you because I love you.” Lars whispered, his nose brushing yours.

“God I love you too, Lars.” You whispered back.

[josephandrewstarkey]

Heyyyy ! Could you do Drew and reader first time … after being a couple for like two months?

ofc!! tysm for your request anon!! 💋

worth the wait

warnings: smut, cussing

words: 869

drew starkey x reader

It had been two blissful months since Y/N and Drew had started dating, but from the beginning, they had taken things slow. Their relationship had grown from deep conversations and laughter-filled moments into something beautiful and meaningful. Y/N had made it clear early on that she wasn’t ready to rush into anything physical, and Drew had been nothing but understanding, patient, and respectful of her boundaries.

It wasn’t that they didn’t have their moments of closeness—there had been plenty of kisses, late-night cuddles, and the quiet intimacy of just being in each other’s company—but they hadn’t crossed that line yet. There had been no pressure, no rush—just the steady build of trust and connection.

But tonight was different.

Y/N had spent the day preparing, her mind made up. She had gone shopping and picked out something special—lingerie that made her feel confident and beautiful. She wanted to show Drew how much he meant to her, how much she trusted him, and tonight, she felt ready.

As Drew walked into the room, he froze at the sight of her standing there, illuminated by the soft light of the bedside lamp. She was wearing the lingerie, a delicate set of lace that hugged her curves in all the right places. His breath hitched, eyes widening in surprise and awe.

“Wow,” he whispered, stepping closer, his gaze never leaving hers. “You look… incredible.”

Y/N felt her heart race as she smiled nervously, but the warmth in his eyes reassured her. She bit her lip, taking a deep breath before finally saying the words that had been on her mind all day. “I’m ready, Drew.”

His expression softened immediately, any trace of surprise replaced by tenderness. He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, his touch as light as a feather. “Are you sure?” His voice was low, full of care and concern.

She nodded, her eyes locked on his. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

Drew’s hand moved to cradle her face, his thumb gently stroking her cheek. “I want this to be perfect for you,” he murmured, his forehead resting against hers. “I’ll go slow. We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Y/N smiled at his words, her heart swelling with even more love for him. “I know. That’s why I’m ready. Because it’s you.”

He kissed her softly then, his lips warm and reassuring. Slowly, they moved toward the bed, and Drew kept his promise—he was gentle, every touch slow and deliberate. He treated her with such care, like she was something fragile and precious, always checking in, making sure she was okay.

Y/n’s hand reached his erection, slowly massaging it. And before she knew it his boxers were off. His thick, long cock springing out, slapping against his stomach. She stared at it— shocked at the sight in front of her.

“Drew. That’s never going to fit.” she mumbled, looking up at him.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make it fit.” he muttered while pressing kisses against her neck, his fingers running through the soft strands of her hair. She moved to take her panties off, she needed him— badly.

“Drew. Please.” she moaned— eagerly waiting for him. He lined his cock at her entrance, rubbing his tip against her clit. Making her cry out. And without warning he pushed into her, his large wood stretching her out.

“fuck, so tight baby” he groaned in her ear, his arms wrapped around her neck as he started pounding in and out of her. He was so rough yet so gentle.

A loud whimper escaped y/n’s throat as he started rubbing her clit. The hand that was just wrapped around her neck was now covering her mouth, muffling any noise as he started pounding harder and harder into her, his hips snapping against her fast and hard enough to bruise.

Her body singing to his tune, as she was driven higher and higher. Each thrust bringing a delicious tension to her. Each string of her body thrumming in perfect time and pitch, getting closer to that breaking point she knew was coming.

Eyes closed to focus on the growing heat. She was surprised when his hand moved to cup her chin and she felt the delicate press of his mouth against hers.

He shoved his tongue into her mouth, it was magical. She ran her hands along his back feeling his strong muscles shift under her touch as he pulled her closer.

It was all too much, and with a strangled shout of his name she fell to pieces. Shaking violently in his arms, the pleasure drowning everything. As she felt him stutter to a halt, he quickly pulled his cock out as he released all over her stomach.

“fuck” he moaned as he fell on top of her. Their breaths mingling together— his face pressed into her hair, soft words of love being murmured as his breathing began to slow.

——

Afterward, they lay together in the quiet, Drew’s arms wrapped securely around her. He kissed the top of her head, pulling her close. “I love you,” he whispered into her hair.

Y/N smiled, her heart still fluttering. “I love you too.”

And in that moment, as they lay in each other’s arms, Y/N knew that waiting had been worth it. Drew had made their first time together everything she had hoped for—and more.

[joocomics]

remember your first

read part two here

pairing: hyeongjun x virgin fem!reader

genre: smut wc: 8.2k

summary: music is what started your friendship with your college classmate han hyeongjun, but your virginity is what made it really blossom

warnings: corruption kink, manipulation (light but still be aware), degradation, virgin kink, dacryphilia

contains: college au, hard dom!junhan, protected sex, dirty talk, cussing, phone sex, pet names, spit kink, face slapping (f!rec), exhibitionism, voyeurism, choking (f!rec), oral sex (m/f), subtle pet play? masturbation, name calling, alcohol consumption, smoking cigarettes, seungmin cameo

“This doesn’t make a good first time story.”

Your brows furrow together, as you try to really make sense of Hyeongjun’s words who takes a sip of his ice tea before slouching into his chair.

The cafeteria is packed and you occasionally look around in case your friend doesn’t see on which table you are sitting when she walks in, but also just in case someone you know passes by, and you have to drastically change the conversation.

You don’t want anyone you’re familiar with to hear you’re discussing your virginity.

“Why not? It’s special.”

“Dinner in a fancy restaurant, flowers…” Hyeongjun lifts another finger in the air, repeating what you said earlier about your long awaited first time. The special sensual sex you’ve been dreaming about since you turned eighteen. “Then he takes you to his dorm room where he has candles and shit, yeah none of that is going to happen, Y/N.”

He grins even more widely when he sees your badly covered disappointment. The corners of his eyes wrinkle appealingly, as he looks at you.

“No one does that anymore.”

“I will meet someone who will think exactly the opposite,” you move forward in your seat with a determined look on your face. “Sweet romantic guys like that still exist believe it or not. You’re just not hanging out with crowds where you would meet them.”

You take the little plushie hanging from Hyeongjun’s keychain that’s left on the table to keep your hands busy. Most of the time you don’t mind that you’re approaching the middle of your second college year still a virgin, but this week it seems like you do.

Hyeongjun huffs at your comment, staring at your pouty lips. He’s used to your silly ways of seeing relationships like a rom com movie.

Despite your obvious differences you and Hyeongjun became friendly the first week of your first year in this exact same cafeteria when he noticed you were listening to one of his favorite bands. After he approached you, asking for your name, you were surprised to find out he’s in a band himself. You easily kicked it off after that, and the rest was history. You still haven’t actually hung out outside of your shared lectures in college, but you didn’t really mind it. Most of the time at least…

You’ve thought a few times about asking him for a drink, a friendly drink, but there was always something stopping you to send the message. There’s also the problem with his band members and friend group overall. As the type of people that your mother would mark as a bad example, you didn’t have anything in common with them.

“Even if you do meet the one…” Hyeongjun speaks out the one with a mocking tone, that makes your eyes roll. “You’re still gonna have a boring first fuck.”

He shifts, resting his elbows on the surface of the table, watching you laugh silently. The metal zippers of his black leather jacket hit the table, creating harsh noise against the wooden surface only you can hear.

“You’re not just some ordinary girl like the rest, Y/N,” he speaks out again. “I know this is not what you really want.”

You lower your attention to his lips, because the way his gaze is piercing through your eyes makes you nervous in a way you’ve never felt around him.

“What else could I want…” You ask more yourself than him.

“So much more… Don’t you want the experience to be fun?” He tilts his head curiously, and you catch the silver earring on his right ear dangle around. “Thrilling? Something worth to think back to.”

“For example?”

“Nah…” He moves back with a sigh. “I don’t want to put ideas in your head. Think about it on your own.”

You shake your head at the thought of spending even more time than you already do sobbing over this.

“No, thanks, I’m over it,” you mumble just when you see your friend approaching your table. You wave back at her while finishing your thought. “I’m not just gonna sit and think about this like it’s some kind of homework.”

“Then touch yourself and your mind will do it on its own.”

When your friend greets both of you, throwing her bag on the chair next to yours, she has to greet you again, because you didn’t hear her the first time.

Hyeongjun tosses his backpack over his shoulder, picks up his keys and cellphone from the table.

As you watch him get ready to leave you realise in some new and unusual kind of way your time spent together doesn’t feel enough. Since you don’t share classes for the rest of the week you’re going to see each other next Tuesday, and that has never looked so farther away to you.

“See you next week, Y/N.”

Hyeongjun’s words were following you everywhere.

You couldn’t help, but think multiple times a day about what he said being the truth. You can have more fun experiences, you’ve always known that in a random little corner of your mind, but first you have to leave your comfort zone.

While the conversation from the cafeteria is replaying in your head your hand, unintentionally or not, slips under your sweats rubbing gently against your panties. Your lips part to let out a sigh after your fingers stop on your clit, putting light pressure.

It takes a few minutes for you to realise that the image of Hyeongjun is still vivid in your mind.

After you slide a finger through your slickness, gasping at the amount of wetness you produced, you comprehend the fact you’re masturbating while thinking about him.

You try to block the thought away, but the warm feeling coming from your core is too good to do anything else besides keeping your hand moving.

Turning over on your stomach you repress your moans and hitched breaths into the pillow. You’re so overwhelmed with the sudden rush, that you cannot control your hand on just one single motion. Wanting so desperately to get to the end of this sensation you end up simultaneously rubbing, humping your palm, fingering your pool of arousal while fantasising that your fingers are someone else’s.

Your body begins to shake as you rub as fast as you can till you can’t handle it anymore. You’ve began to do this more frequently than you used to, more than you’d like to admit, but you can’t resist it. However, the obvious thing you can’t ignore is that you’ve never been this wet before as you are this morning. You’ve never felt so high while doing this to yourself, and you’ve never done it with Hyeongjun stuck in your mind.

You lift up startled from the pillows when your phone starts ringing under the sheets. When you find the device your heartbeat suddenly quickens even more at the look of the name displayed on the screen.

Even though you exchanged numbers last year you’ve barely spoken on the phone. You always text each other unless it’s about something important having to do with an assignment that’s easier explained by speaking.

You didn’t have other reasons to call each other.

As your thumb hovers over the green button the wetness under your panties becomes more and more obvious, but you try your best to ignore it despite the cotton fabric practically sticking to it like a second layer of skin.

“Hey,” you greet him after clearing your throat, trying to sound as nonchalantly as possible.

“I was just about to hang up,” says the familiar voice on the other line. “Hey. Did I wake you up?”

“No, no. I’m just… chilling before it’s time to head to class.” Your thighs press against each other harder with each word you say. “What are you up to?”

“I’m with the guys, we’re practicing.”

You did hear a few male voices coming from the distance. You try focusing on them and Hyeongjun, not on your heartbeat that still hasn’t recovered from your intense orgasm.

“Didn’t you mention once that you have classes till four?”

“I did.” A short sound from one of the strings of his guitar sneaks through the speaker, and disappears just as quickly. “I skipped.”

“What are you practicing for?” Your teeth grab your lower lip.

“Actually that’s why I’m calling. We have a small gig on Saturday and I would like it if you come to watch me. If you’re interested.”

“Oh, I’d like that,” you reply, leaning back against the wall.

“Sweet,” Hyeongjun mumbles, and you can hear his perky smile. “I’ll text you the details then.”

You thank him for the invite, and just when you’re about to hang up, he speaks again.

“Y/N, did you…” The sudden note of suspicion in his voice rings in your ear. “Wait.”

You hear shuffling noises followed by a door closing.

“Were you touching yourself?”

“Hyeongjun…” Your throat dries in seconds from panic. “What, why are you asking me that?”

“You sound like you cummed really hard. And it took you some time to pick up the phone.”

The way he said that so comfortably and bluntly brought a fog to your brain that made it even more of a challenge to make up a smart lie on the spot, so you decide to be honest. It’s not like you’re going to talk about sexual things with him for the first time.

“Okay, yeah I did. Wasn’t that what you recommended me to do?” You ask jokingly, but his voice remains calm.

“Good girl.”

The praise causes a halt in your heart.

“What did you think about?” He’s eager to know.

“Uhm, nothing really.”

“Tsk, that can’t be true.”

There’s no way you can be that honest with him right now.

“Mostly about myself… what I was doing. I don’t really know what I want yet if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Have you done oral with someone?”

“I’ve told you I haven’t done anything except kissing and two handjobs, Hyeongjun… Nothing has changed.” You sigh from frustration, sensing the feeling of shame coming back to warm your cheeks. You begin to get suspicious of the sudden silence that lasts a few seconds before you hear of him again.

“I’m just thinking how nice it would be to lick you up right now.” The sentence rolls off his tongue before he makes a temporary pause in which you pin point some muffled noise. “You must be really fucking wet…”

His voice begins to sound more low pitched with a washed out tone, that spreads the warmth from your face everywhere else on your body.

“Virgin girls start dripping from the smallest things. Are you sensitive, Y/N?”

“Yeah…” You focus on the other line in attempt to figure out if he’s doing something other than just talking. “I’m very sensitive.”

You’re now one hundred percent sure he’s jerking himself off as you speak. The moment you hear his first groan your hand slips back into your panties, much faster since you got rid of your sweatpants earlier. You still have arousal lingering between your folds that you bring up to spread over your sensitive clit.

“Did you made yourself cum?” He asks.

“I did, pretty quickly.”

“Tell me how.”

You shut your eyes in contemplation, your hand moves slowly in circles.

“I fucked myself with my fingers…” It seems like the fact you can’t see each other boosts your confidence, and the words start coming out on their own. “First with my legs spread wide, then with my ass up in the air.”

“Fuck—“ Hyeongjun’s heavy breathing follows with a light chuckle, that sounds too erotic in this situation. He’s pleasantly surprised from how forward you are with your answers. “You’ll be so fuckin’ tight… tightest pussy ever.”

His coarse words end in a moan that forces you to speed up your own pleasure too.

“I thought of you the whole time…” You whisper, holding your phone tightly. “That you were here watching me.”

You hear him only cuss quietly as a response. He obviously tries hard to contain his moans in order to not be heard from any of his band members.

“Ah, you won’t be able to stop clenching… But you’ll take it well cause you’ll be dripping for that fuckin’ cock… You want to get your pussy ruined after all… Right, dirty girl?”

Your imagination runs wild trying to picture him with his fist around his cock. His slim fingers painted in black nail polish dancing up and down, squeezing till he spills all over himself.

“I-I do…” Your body slips downwards, as you begin to pump your fingers, once again aiming for another climax. “Yeah, I do.”

“Holy s-shit…” He spits out until the sound of his furious fist slamming against his body is the only thing you can hear before a powerful moan gets stuck in his throat, because he doesn’t have the chance to let it out.

On Friday afternoon during your last lecture of the week you receive a message from Hyeongjun. Your heart skips a beat at the thought of it having something to do with what happened the other day on the phone, but it doesn’t.

the bar will be crowded and really hot

don’t get overdressed

leave your panties at home if you want

“You came.”

You turn to see Hyeongjun with a bottle of beer in hand. He’s still breathing heavily from his performance, and somehow he looks just as captivating as he did on the stage, or even more. You notice that his forehead that’s exposed from his bangs is glistening with sweat, as he settles down on the lounge to take the empty seat next to you.

“Of course, how could I miss it?” You cross your legs, fixing your skirt as you turn to face him better. “You did great. All of you did amazing.”

Hyeongjun’s eyes crawl up your bare legs, from your exposed ankles to the middle of your thighs where your small skirt ends. You listened to him; you did come with as less clothing on your body as possible. Your top that shows some skin around your bellybutton every time you move with those thin almost nonexistent straps doesn’t leave much to the imagination either.

“Last time we were here we sucked.” He leans back, relaxing his body. “Maybe you’ll turn out to be my lucky charm.” The corners of his lips lift up for a moment before he drinks.

The memories from your phone call burst into your mind, and you begin to wonder if he’s going to bring it up tonight. You want him to, but at the same time you know you’re not ready to talk about it just yet, at least not here.

A few people pass by to chat with Hyeongjun. Some you’ve seen around in college, others you meet for the first time. They let him know they loved his band and ask him all kinds of questions about it before leaving.

His band members, all three of them, come along too, crashing on the other side of the lounge. They exchange a few words before Hyeongjun quickly brings his attention back to you.

“You look pretty tonight.”

Your eyebrows raise subtly, as you’re taken aback from the sudden compliment.

“Thanks,” you smile, taking a sip from your glass of white wine that’s getting warmer. You started drinking from it more quickly since Hyeongjun sat down next to you.

A young woman walks up on the stage and starts singing impressively when he leans towards your ear.

“Can you see well?”

Despite your assurance that the view from your seat is great, he still pulls you with his hands, placing you onto his lap.

“Isn’t this better?” His thumb brushes the zip of your skirt, as his hands leave your waist.

You look down to see the way his palms glide on the naked skin of your thighs; the way they slide on the inner surface so his black nails can scratch it gently. His emphasised veins immediately hold your attention. The hint of roughness his fingertips have get your lower tummy excited.

However, as much as his touch electrifies you at this moment, the one thing that makes you swallow your tongue is the feel of your ass resting against his crotch. You freeze, avoiding any kind of possible movement.

“Hey,” he slurs into the crook of your neck, pushing your hair to one side. “Loosen up, it’s just me.”

“I know.”

Hyeongjun takes a shameless whiff of your perfume; he takes the sweetness of it all in, letting it arouse his senses.

Noticing his bottle is empty, he reaches towards the table to pick up another. This forces his chest to press against your back, letting his body heat to sink into your spine through the thin fabric of his graphic tee that allows you to feel every part and muscle of his chest.

He swiftly opens the beer with the lighter he uses for his cigarettes while he keeps his arms around your waist. He guides the neck of the glass bottle to your glossy lips and the strong smell hits you.

“Wanna sip?”

“Sure,” you mumble. You’ve never tried beer before and you quickly find out it’s not your thing.

Hyeongjun looks closely at the view of your plump lips wrapped around the bottle, before chuckling at the drastic change in your expression after the taste invades your mouth.

“I don’t like it.” You wipe off the few droplets of alcohol from the corner of your mouth.

He drinks after you right away just to gather all the spit and lipstick you left on the glass.

A moment later, as the vibrant song continues, you notice the bottle going down in your lap. If you did have an idea of what Hyeongjun might be up to, you would’ve reacted differently, but you didn’t, so you jerk up as if something just bit you, grabbing on his wrist.

“Hyeongjun!”

You look around every corner of the place. Thankfully everyone’s attention is focused somewhere else, and the crowd is swaying around.

“So you did follow all my orders.”

Orders. Not advice, or suggestions.

Orders. The word comes with a certain weight that presses the back of your tongue leaving you speechless.

The cold bottle is now settled between your spread thighs, and presses harder against your naked cunt. Your tummy begins to clench from all the different sensations coming together.

“Mmhp…” You use the sound of desperation as some sort of an answer. The wetness that’s dripping from the glass begins to glide down your pussy creating a nice ticklish feel to it.

“Move.” Hyeongjun brushes his lips against your ear while caging you in place with his left arm. “Come on, horny girl, it will feel so good. It already does, see?” The hard cold surface moves under your skirt to rub your clit satisfyingly.

You roll your hips once, grinding against the thick length of the beer bottle. Then twice. Eventually you begin to ride it delicately - the beer bottle and Hyeongjun’s semi hard on.

The coldness spreads all over your intimate flesh, kissing your clit, and you feel the urge to moan. The sound keeps building up in your throat, as you continue with the motions, encouraged by the warm knot in your core, and Hyeongjun’s voice over your shoulder that turns you just as woozy.

“That’s it, sweetheart… Told you it will feel nice.” He places his first kiss on your neck, wet and slow, allowing you to really feel his tongue. “Keep going.”

You do your best at moving not too fast, not too obviously, but it’s getting harder. You wish you could do it quick and just let the rush take over.

“Hyeongjun, no more..”

“We’re not leaving till you cum on that bottle.”

He doesn’t seem to hesitate to command you at all.

His hot breath fans your skin just below your earlobe, but the excitement from it cannot compare to the one you feel every time he tells you what to do. It can barely compare to the thrill of doing this in public around so many people. The exciting energy doubles every time you hear the roughness in his demanding voice; every time you feel his lips on the back of your neck, curling up lazily in a provocative smile.

“Don’t pretend to be that innocent…” He nibbles the space between your shoulder and neck, causing you goosebumps. “Not in front of me.”

Your one hand holds on the table in front of you, for support, as the other stays on top of Hyeongjun’s which is gripping your thigh.

“What if someone sees?”

“I’m pretty sure you’d enjoy that.”

The live music and loud cheers swallow your blissful sounds during the last moments of your breaking point. You ride out the ecstatic rush slow and steady which seems to make it even more intense to the point your lower body quivers vividly. The squirms give Hyeongjun’s erection such irresistible friction that he helps himself out by biting your skin to bare it more easily.

Hyeongjun lifts the beer in front of your face after he moves you to sit sideways on his right thigh, so he can have a better vew at your flushed face. His left hand traps your plush thighs together with fingers half hidden under the lower part of your skirt.

“This is a great brand,” he points out, glancing at his hand than back at you.

You can read the challenge in his dark gaze and you know what you need to do.

You stick out your tongue and lick up where all your essence lies. Without opening your eyes yet, you let it glide all the way to the bottle’s edge which you twirl the tip of your tongue around.

Hyeongjun smiles at the little ways you uncover your dirty nature to him; he couldn’t wait to see all of it.

“You have a pretty tongue,” his thumb and index finger catch your chin. “Show me again.” He says with a voice so low it sounds like he’s entranced by you.

Two of his fingers crawl inside your mouth, feeling the warm moisture of your pink tongue. They go deeper. Deep as they can, till the knuckles of the rest of his fingers dig into your chin, and it makes you gag. He glides them back against the soft texture, and sees you close your glistening lips tightly, not letting them go just yet. The sight of you sucking on them while maintaining eye contact doubles the pressure in his lower region.

“I always had a feeling you’ll turn out to be a secret slut.” His fingers pull out slowly, bringing your bottom lip downward, exposing a row of teeth.

“Who did you see?” He asks after he catches you staring in a different direction.

“It’s the guy I—“

“Seungmin?” He cuts you off with an intrigued tone that you can’t decide if it sounds more fake than real. “Didn’t you have a crush on him at one point?”

“Yeah, I did. I’m far from his type though.”

“What does that mean? That he doesn’t have an eye for sweet pretty girls like you? That’s bullshit.” Hyeongjun shifts his focus on Seungmin that’s leaning over one of the tables few feet away from you. “Why don’t you go talk to him?”

“Right now?”

“Now.” He replies. “Maybe he can be your first,” he turns to look at you again, but this time with a more serious expression.

“Are you saying I should flirt with Seungmin?”

“Not necessarily,” he makes a pause before adding: “It’s enough for you to just smile and look pretty in your little skirt. Go.” His hand smacks your thigh.

It’s like he can see right through your face that you prefer to be with him than anyone else right now, that’s why he’s smiling. But you can’t say no. Not to Hyeongjun.

You don’t want to.

“Hey,” you greet Seungmin when you go up to him.

He’s standing still behind a messy table with a drink in hand. From the look of it, it seems that he came here with someone that’s currently absent. Probably at the dance floor or at the bar for drinks.

“Hey, Y/N.” He shouts over the music. “I never expected to see you here.”

“I got invited.”

Seungmin moves closer to you, eyeing your face under the dim lights. He looks pleasantly surprised to see you.

“By who? I should thank him.”

His cheeky smirk turns into more of a curious expression with the corners of his lips curled up when he eventually notices Hyeongjun observing your interaction.

“Ah, I see. You two seem close.”

“Yeah, we’re good friends.” You make a step to get closer. “I came to cheer for his band.”

“Friends…” The word slips with suspicion from the boy’s tongue as he repeats it. “So he wouldn’t mind if I do this?” His finger reaches for your lips where a strand of your hair is sticking to your lipgloss. He removes it carefully, tucking it with the rest of your hair behind your ear.

You shake head at his question, glancing up to meet his eyes. They’re a bit hazed from the creeping effects of the alcohol, but mostly focused on you; smiling as in an invitation for something.

“Would you mind if I take you away from him for a few minutes?” He raises a brow, anticipating your answer.

“No.”

You follow Seungmin through a small corridor leading to the bathrooms. He shuts the door behind you and locks lips with yours right away, pressing you against the wall. You let him lower his mouth down your neck appreciating the way he handles you gently despite his obvious eagerness.

“You can touch me already if you want,” he suggests against your lips.

You move your hand from his chest to the waistband of his pants. When you feel his semi hard on in your palm the doubts of your actions come to you, and you pull back.

“I’m sorry…” You look down at your feet, too nervous to face him. “I’m not sure this is right.”

Seungmin peels off his palms from the wall you’re leaning on, and simply nods.

“It’s alright.” He shoots you a sincere half-smile, not minding the situation. “Enjoy the rest of the night.”

“You too,” you smile back watching him exit the bathroom.

You walk towards the sink to check up on your reflection in the mirror above. The effects Hyeongjun has on you are written all over your face.

A moment later after you return to your table Hyeongjun asks you to join him outside for a smoke.

The chilly wind brushes over your skin as you walk out the door, but after spending time in the humid atmosphere of the crowded bar it feels refreshing despite the shivers.

Hyeonjun steps behind you with a cigarette between his lips to put his black denim jacket over your shoulders. He brought it expecting the breeze to be chilly since fall is approaching.

He can sense damn well what happened between you and Seungmin, and his crooked smile proves it. He doesn’t bother asking questions he knows the answers to, so he skips this conversation.

“Wanna get out of here? There’s a cheap hotel nearby where we can spend the rest of the night.”

An immediate spark pops in your eyes when you hear the invitation. You don’t succeed at hiding it in time, and Hyeongjun catches the glimmer, holding onto it as he cuts the distance between you.

“Why didn’t you ask me this earlier?”

“Why does it matter?” He asks back, letting the smoke slip through his lips.

“Because I was going to say yes.”

Hyeongjun’s brows jump intrigued.

Were you really so unaware? Can’t you see the true motives behind his actions?

“So now the answer is no?”

You take a moment to respond cause you didn’t really get the chance to think about what’s your final decision.

After tossing his cigarette in the bin, Hyeongjun walks over to you again.

“Listen, doll,” he speaks softly and the name he suddenly calls you sends waves of electricity through your veins. “I know exactly what you want, I just need to hear you say it.” He slides up the loose strap of your top that was hanging from your shoulder. “It seemed like you needed a little help to figure out your real needs, and I was more than nice to give it to you. Didn’t you learn some new things about yourself the last few days? I certainly did.”

His hands trap you against the wall as he leans in. Once again, you’re at loss for words, but not so much because of nervousness, but because of how badly you crave to be kissed by him.

“You’re a dirty girl who needs to be told what to do. You get off to being watched. You wet yourself when there’s a chance you might be caught and humiliated… or scolded.” He grips your jaw and you have nowhere to look except his dark seductive eyes. “Will the sweet guys you think you want like that?”

His smile at your wordless reply lasts a second longer, as he checks out your lips that don’t sparkle anymore.

“Tsk, Seungmin wiped off your lipstick.”

You dismiss the comment. His previous words take over your entire mind, and they shock you only because Hyeongjun found out about them before you did.

“Should I put on some more for you?” Your voice comes out with a hint of provocation just as he brushes his thumb over the corner of your mouth.

Why hasn’t he kissed you yet?

You place your hand cautiously over his that’s resting on the side of your face. You’re begging to hear yes; begging to hear the invitation again so you can agree, and let him take you wherever he wants, and do whatever he feels is right for you.

“How did it feel kissing him? You must’ve dreamed about it a lot.”

“It was good…” You mutter, capturing every little bit of emotion his face could make as you continue your thoughts. “It was pretty much how I imagined it would go.”

“Great.” He whispers with dry calmness before pressing his lips together.

“But it’s not enough. That’s not what I want anymore.” You admit. “I want more. You.”

His hands roam all over you, gripping your flesh shamelessly as if you’re going to slip away any second now, but you’re not going anywhere. This is where you belong. In a small plain room of a hotel you’ve never heard the name of; with him.

You turn around, allowing him to smack your ass, as you crawl to the centre of the bed. When you peek behind your shoulder you see he’s already shirtless keeping his eyes on the way your pleated skirt exposes your bare ass.

Your plush thighs stay slightly spread apart, anticipating what’s coming.

“Did he touch here?” He runs one fingertip between your soft folds which makes you fumble over one simple word.

“No.”

“Were you going to let him if he wanted to?”

Your ass is up in the air tempting Hyeongjun to go further by bumping your entrance with the same finger. There’s already a new moisture collecting inside you, enough to spread it up to your clit and make your entire pussy slippery.

“No, I wasn’t going to…” You mumble, but hiss right after, cause your cheek jiggles from a new smack. The stinging warmth spreads on your skin pleasantly.

“Took you some time to answer,” Hyeongjun notes, digging his rings into your plush flesh by squeezing both butt cheeks. “You’re so fuckin’ desperate to pop your cherry, aren’t you? Gonna let anyone touch you, pathetic.” He moves one hand in front of you, while the other sneaks into your hair. His fingers tug on your roots not too harsh, but not too gently either, just enough to signal that you have to rise up on the instant. “Must really suck having to rub your clit every day all by yourself, poor girl.”

You mewl from the circling motions that rapidly stimulate your sensitive clit, as he keeps your back against his chest. His fingers apply more pressure than what you’re used to and the result quickly makes your mind fuzzy.

“If we’re going to do this you’ll need to learn how to use your words, kitten.” He quits the rubs and releases your hair. “Lay down.” His voice comes behind your shoulder in addition to the harsh sound of a new slap landing on your cheek.

You watch him kneel between your legs, spreading them apart with a burning flame in his eyes. However, first he wants to pull down the straps of your top before he goes down on you. He drags it down your chest, leaving it just above your bellybutton.

Hyeongjun has thought of your boobs so many times that now when they’re finally right in front of him he cannot contain the curses. His shameless stare doesn’t miss the way your nipple perks up after he flicks it with his finger. Everything about you is so delicate and succumbed to his control. Since you’re not used to being touched, every single rub, pinch and squeeze from his hand makes you gasp, and your dazed eyes amazed.

You need so little to get on cloud nine, but little is far from enough for Hyeongjun.

That’s why when he lays down to dive into your slickness he forces his tongue roughly, shooting strong rush of arousal into your core. The hungry way he laps on your juices is almost maniacally like he’s been waiting for this forever. He holds your shaking thighs that threaten to close around him, as he rolls his tongue over your clit before guiding it to your entrance.

“Gotta be soaked if you want to take me, doll.” He groans into your folds before pulling back to spit on your cunt.

He shoves two fingers inside you, making you yelp. His heavy from lust gaze moves on your flushed face all scrunched from the intense sensations that you struggle to comprehend. The captivating sight of your reactions encourages his hand to move mercilessly in and out of you; the way you clench tight just how he imagined you would provokes his pace even more.

“Feels better when someone else does it for you, doesn’t it horny girl?”

“So much b-better, Hyeongjun… please, m-more…”

He bends down and you take a close look of his mouth and sharp chin glistening with your essence.

“Your mess is all over my face, clean me up.”

Your tongue starts roaming around his mouth, cleaning carefully the corners, until stopping on his lips where you take your time gathering your juices. While you do this task his fingers have put their scissoring motion on pause, and the burning temptation to cum lingers inside you strongly as ever. Only his middle finger is teasing with miniature bumps back and forth, that you can hear the sound of in the silent room.

You suck hungrily on his bottom lip when you’re done, and that turns into the last straw for Hyeongjun. He smashes his mouth onto yours for the very first time, resuming to building back the pressure in your tummy at the same time.

The on going whimpers you make from your climax erupting so quick get lost and swallowed from the lushful contact of your lips, moving more greedily with each passing second.

You wrap hands around his neck to pull him closer, but to also have something to grab onto for support, as your body begins to convulse under his figure. The moment the wave hits you, your mouth opens in a silent scream, and you tilt your head back, pressing onto the pillow.

“Cum again for me, kitten, that’s it.” His voice goes lower and lower, as he watches you continue to squirm in the little skirt, mewling weakly from not able to control yourself at all. “So good at this…” He arches his fingers against your sweet spot a few more seconds, then takes them out to slap your vulnerable clit a few times as a praising gesture.

“I’m impressed, you’re doing so well for a virgin.” Hyeongjun pulls back, and gets up to get rid of his jeans.

Your attention span is so weak at this moment, but it’s not possible to miss the appealing features of his silhouette when he goes to look for his jacket to grab a condom, as you later find out. The waistband of his black boxers contrast against the tanned skin of his slim waist while the prominent contour of his erection has you anticipating to see what it looks like.

You heard him orgasm, but you haven’t seen him do it.

“Take these off, doll.”

You strip, but your eyes still stay focused on his body language. The nerves of seeing his cock being released from the stained fabric of his underwear, make the knot of energy in your tummy swirl with a new speed. Finally being able to free it must have made him feel good based off the long sigh that escapes through his lips when he takes it into his hand.

He tells you to turn around on your knees, and soon enough you feel his tip gliding between you folds through the protection. Although you’re squelching from how wet you are, the first inch Hyeongjun forces into your tight entrance makes you cry out.

“O-oh my god—“ You grip on the sheets when a sharp pain shoots through your lower region. Your feet move uncontrollably as the stinging continues to burn inside you, spreading everywhere. “Fuck, it hurts…”

“Just think about how good I’m gonna fuck you when you’re streched out for me.” Hyeongjun grips your hips, threatening to leave a few bruises, as his face twitches with pleasure. His erection is so overwhelmed from your tightness that it keeps throbbing, making him want to cum on the spot. “Isn’t this what you want, pretty girl? Getting fucked like a whore?”

“Yesyesyes—“ Your response melts into a wail when you feel the agony from the rest of his size going all the way through you. Tears start to form in the corners of your eyes and you try your best to hold them in.

It doesn’t get easier when he begins to thrust into you, but the only thing you can do is take it, and hope it does soon. The sound of his body clashing into your behind sounds so arousing; his loud moans excite you even more; you don’t want any of it to stop, so you pull one of the pillows and bite, suppressing your hiccups miserably.

Until he covers your mouth and you’re left sobbing in his palm.

“Shhh, it will go away. Stop fuckin’ crying,” he rumbles, just because he loves the sound of the command, not because he really wants you to.

After he changes the position by laying you on your back you really realise how much you turn him on when you cry. For this year and a half since you’ve known each other, he’s never looked at you like this once - as if he’s trying to memorise every detail that makes up your face. You’ve catched yourselves staring before; you’re always the one to look away pretending your attention was meant to be directed somewhere else, while he on the other hand, never has a problem in holding his gaze on you.

But it was never like this.

Hyeongjun follows the erotic stains of your tears like hypnotised until you hang arms around his shoulders, pulling him back into reality.

“Don’t stop…” You sneak your fingers into his dark hair, but as much as he likes the feeling of it he quickly grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head.

“Don’t stop what?”

“Fucking me… Please, I want this.”

Your voice breaks in the middle of a desperate moan after Hyeongjun fills you up again in one rough push. His strong cravings dictate his speedy pace in addition to his desire to see you completely fucked out under him that results in degrading words to keep flying out of his mouth.

“You liked that, huh..” He growls, as your whines that now sound like they come more from pleasure than from pain, begin to rise with each slam his cockhead gives your g-spot. “Does my slut starts to feel good, tell me.” He shifts in order his hand to find your clit and rub it with quick motions, that has you rolling your eyes back.

“Soo g-good… l-love it so much..” You blink up through your coiled lashes, mumbling incoherently through whimpers, “f-fuck—“ You gasp, taken aback by his hand suddenly moving from your cunt to your throat. You feel his fingers hugging your neck, putting the ideal amount of pressure on both sides to get you dizzy, as his hips do not plan on slowing down.

“Gonna fuck you so good you won’t settle for anything less than my cock, you hear me.. Nothing will ever feel like this again, kitten.”

You try to hold onto every word he says, as they send waves of arousal in your tummy, but it all becomes too much and they start slipping from your mind the second Hyeongjun mutters them in his panting.

“Look at me,” he grunts. “Don’t be pathetic, look at me as I fuck you.” He scoffs at the way your smeared with makeup eyelids barely stay open. “Rub your clit, come on. Don’t just lay there.”

“Mhhm…” A noise of desperation slips from your trembling lips immediately when your fingers get in contact with your overstimulated nerves. You don’t even need to press against it, a light brush is enough to bring your climax, when the rest of you is scorching from his pounds. “Hyeong— ‘m gonna cum—“

“Tsk,” Hyeongjun clicks with his tongue before turning your head with a slap. Your hand automatically pulls away from your clit. “That’s not the way, pretty one. What do whores say when they want to cum?”

“Please… let me cum, p-please.”

“Better,” he lifts his upper body up, locking eyes with your pleading gaze. The multiple orgasms are starting to take their toll on you, and you look so captivating with your miserable tears, and little head in the clouds. His curiosity has him already wonder how much more you can handle, but at the same time he wants to save some things for the future. “You’re trying your best, so I’ll let it slide.”

You feel the burning rush rising to flood your body, and your eyes squeeze from embarrassment, however, a moment later they open from a warning smack on your thigh.

“Look at me as you cum, doll. Is this all it takes to fuck you dumb?” He takes a peek at your boobs, bouncing with every shove of his length, then brings them back to your one hand toying with your sore clit. “Already sleeping on me, holy shit—“

Hyeongjun’s face contorts the moment you suck his cock in, tightening around his thickness. He remains silent, wanting to focus on your moans that elevate and become heavier as your mind goes blank. The condom gets fully soaked from you, as you cum even harder.

With all the strength he has, Hyeongjun slams the tip of his cock into your deepest spot, sloppier, but just as intense, waiting for your high to cool off before he pulls out.

As his own panting normalises, he gets up, slipping off the messy wrapper from his shaft.

“Come,” he calls out, standing on his feet in front of the bed. His fist is caressing his now bare cock through slow tugs. “Yeah, crawl to me, kitten.” He eyes the trouble you have using your wobbly legs with a satisfying smirk on his face.

“Stay.”

You freeze on all fours with palms close to the edge of the mattress.

It’s right in your face. There’s no condom to hide it, and you see the angry redness of his leaking tip. You can’t help, but gulp your drooling over and over again, as he lowers it down to your mouth.

“I’ve only done it with my hand,” you confess when he gets closer with the swollen head between his fingers.

“Just stay still and don’t forget to breathe.” He simply states, but then decides there’s one small thing he can help you out with. “Open your mouth for me.”

You blink up showing him a glimpse of your pink tongue. It takes you some to figure out what he’s planning on doing. Just after you notice the thick string of spit escaping his lips you realise you have to catch it. You stand in the same position dismissing the ache in your sore muscles, as you wait for his saliva to fall in your mouth.

Seeing it finally glide to the back of your tongue, Hyeongjun invites his cock in your small mouth with an unexpected persistence that makes you wince on your knees. He finds it cute that after all this time he has you under his control you still expect him to go easy on you.

“Wanna see you take all of it, fuck,” he whispers, and his hand resting on the back of your head feels your attempts to pull back already. “If you want to get fucked like a slut, you should start sucking dick like one. Come on, make your mouth just as filthy as your pussy,” he gives you an encouraging slap, feeling his erection through your cheek. “Prove to me you make a good whore.”

He pushes your head towards his lower abdomen, letting you slobber his length as much as possible. The loud groan you hear above you after his tip stays in the deepest part of your throat sends shivers down your spine. You wish you could make him feel this good without any of his guidance.

As he said, you make sure to keep breathing through your nose simultaneously fighting back the urge to gag from the unsettling taste the rubber of the condom has left on him. You force your tongue to move as much as possible, roaming wherever it can reach, as you bob your head slowly after his hand stops keeping you pressed into his tummy.

“That’s it, make it wet, doll.”

Your eyes look up innocently tempted by the subtle praise. You even let out a satisfied moan that shoots pleasant vibrations through his core, causing Hyeongjun to hum with his fingers tangling in your hair. But you couldn’t resist the emotions; seeing his dark messy hair falling into his face that’s contorted by the pleasure he’s receiving from you, brings you just as strong delight.

A moment later the bitterness on your tongue becomes too much, and you have to spit him out despite not wanting to. Your head falls defeated when you begin to gag embarrassed by your behaviour.

“Shit, it just started to feel good, what do you think you’re doing, huh?”

“I’m sorry, it’s the condom, the—“

“I don’t fuckin’ care,” Hyeongjun cuts you off, tilting your wet chin up. “I want to cum, are you denying me that?”

You shake your head watching him with apologetic hazy eyes.

“I’ll do better,” you quietly say under your breath. Your heart skips a beat when he squats, leaning in so close your noses almost brush against one another. You close your eyes anticipating the thrilling touch of his lips, but you know you have to work for that, and you quickly look back at him. “Spit on me… again.”

Hyeongjun’s eyes widen with surprise, and he stands up straight.

“Please,” you add the magic word, and you see his dark gaze sparkling from how exciting it sounds in your voice. “I deserve it.”

He doesn’t hesitate to grip your jaw, holding your head steady, and spit at the centre of your face. He does it one more time, then another, till your scrunched features have enough of it.

You open your eyes to his cock tapping your cheek before spreading the saliva everywhere on your face, and forcing it through your lips.

This time you succeed in bearing both the taste and the pain of his size bullying your throat a bit easier. You begin to get used to it, but the fact Hyeongjun’s quick hips do all the work helps you out too - this way you don’t even have the time or the ability to think about anything at all.

He glides in and out of your mouth mercilessly, not paying attention if you struggle or not. The knot in his core is so close to snapping as your eyes fill with tears again, the thought of slowing down or opening his eyes doesn’t even cross his mind.

“Fuck, fuck—“ he groans in a much weaker voice than before. The new vulnerable note to his tone makes it obvious he’s close. “God… yeah, swallow it, kitten.”

You do your best to stay still as he releases his orgasm while throbbing between your hollowed cheeks.

The intense fluttering that follows in your chest from his hand roughly closing your mouth to keep it all in makes you smile shyly, before you take his warm seed down your throat.

“Your first time eating my cum.”

It was your first time of many things.

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

! please keep in mind that english is not my first language. i apologise in advance for any mistakes i’ve might missed