#she talks so fast and says so many things

[kaliforniahigh]

birds of a feather, we should stick together - n.s. (part one)

Best friends to lovers, fake dating and best friend Noah <3

Warnings: a mean character, curse words, Noah makes fun of fine line tattoos, lies and reader trying to fit in to the best of her abilities. If I missed something, let me know!

Part 2 is in the works and coming soon!

WC: 4.3k words.

Requests are closed for now / Click here to be added to the permanent tag list <3

To say you were overly excited to meet up with your high school friends would be a total lie. When you told Noah they arranged a lunch date, to remember the good old days, he scoffed, and asked you why you even stayed in the group chat with these people.

Truth is, they weren't all bad. Acually, most of them were pretty nice, It was the Regina George of the group, also known as Jade, who fucked up the vibes.

Jade was a mean girl, and she never understood why you were friends with the awkward emo kid, with the side-swept bangs. This emo kid being your best friend, Noah Sebastian, who was the first person you met when you enrolled in a new school, in the middle of the school year.

It was 6th grade, and you had just moved to Richmond, VA. Your dad was transferred, so you had to find a new home, in a new city.

You and Noah became friends fast, being paired up by your English teacher during reading classes, you talked more than you actually read. He found out, that even though it didn't look like it, you enjoyed the same bands as he did. And that you learned to play acoustic guitar from a pretty young age.

You told him that your dad was in a band during his college years, but, due to adult responsabilities, it became more of a hobby for him than anything else.

Soon, the two of you were inseparable. Walking down school corridors together, him going to your house to do homework, and showing you around the city on the weekends.

You were the one who took school more seriously than him, and you were the one who ended up going to college and getting your Master's degree right after. But he was the one who always took you to watch his band practice, who took you to watch his friends - who were always much older than the two of you - perform.

When you were both 15, Noah told you he was going to drop out of high school. You weren't too happy, because you wouldn't have your best friend with you anymore, but you always knew the time would come, and were surprised he didn't decide to do it much sooner.

And that's how you met Jade and her friends. You weren't popular by any means, but, one day, she approached you and asked you how you styled your hair so nicely, and how she loved your pink tips.

You wanted to tell her that your best friend helped you. When you told Noah you wanted a splash of color in your hair, he went to the store with you to buy the necessary things. He wanted you to do purple, but you settled on pink. You remember him huffing in annoyance, telling you that pink was such a boring color.

At home, he helped you with the back of your head, while you spread the vivid color on the front pieces. It turned out amazing, and you joked that he could be a hair stylist if this band thing didn't work out.

Noah and Jade never really got along. The first day they met, Noah was picking you up from school, waiting for you in the parking lot. You remember Jade making a backhanded remark about his tattoos and the way he dresses, and Noah's face turned sour immediately.

After that, anytime they were in the same vicinity, shady comments were thrown by both of them. Noah always commenting about how the bleach in her hair must've gotten to her brain, and Jade commenting about how Noah was a wannabe rockstar.

Noah asked you many times why you kept her around, instead of dumping her and finding new friends, and you always explained how it wasn't that easy.

This was high school, and everyone already had their group of friends, not really being keen on letting other people in. Besides, without him there, and without the girls, you truly had no one else.

At the end of the day, he understood. Noah himself had a hard time making friends, and to this day, he never understood how someone like you decided to befriend him. He knew how being solitary could ruin your years in high school.

Now, sitting in this overpriced lunch spot they found downtown, you were contemplating your life choices as you tried to eat your Caeser salad without grimacing. All of them ordered fucking salads, and you did the same, not wanting to be the only one ordering chicken parm.

"Girlies", Jade said, wiping her mouth with a napking and setting it back down on her lap. "I know this is a reunion, but I have such good news", she clapped her hands excitedly. Typical Jade, always wanting the attention on her.

Everyone stopped eating to pay attention to what she was saying.

"So, you know how Peter proposed to me last year, right?", everyone nodded yes. "We're getting married in two months!", she exclaimed, reaching inside her Louis Vitton bag and pulling out what seemed to be wedding invitations. "And all of you are invited!"

The girls cheered and started to hug her, you did the same, expressing your happines for your friend.

"It's going to be in the Bahamas, in an all-inclusive resort", she informed, handing out the wedding invitations. Meanwhile, you were wondering with what money you were getting your ass to the Bahamas.

"Peter is paying all the expenses, for everyone, so don't even worry about it", she said, as if reading your thoughts.

Jade got engaged to the kind of person everyone thought she was going to date. Peter was a hot shot plastic surgeon based in LA. You had no doubt he racked up millions of dollars every month just fixing people's faces. Jade herself had something new done everytime you met up.

"What about you, Y/N? Who are you bringing as your plus one?", Emma asked. You guess you zoned out and missed part of the conversation.

"You're bringing your boyfriend, right?", Lily chimed in.

Did they even know if you had a boyfriend or not? You looked around the table, all the girls waiting for your answer. You didn't know what to say. Suddenly, your eyes noticed all of their beautiful engagement rings, and you didn't have the courage to say you were still single.

"Yeah, of course", you answered, hoping you were convincing.

"Uhh, that's amazing! Who is he?", Jade asked, excitment coating her voice.

Shit. Who the fuck would you say is your boyfriend?

"Noah", you said. He was the first person to come to mind, and you didn't hesitate to say his name.

You saw Jade's face twist in a frown.

"You're dating Noah?", she asked, judgment evident in her tone.

"Hmm, yeah, for a while now", you were lying through your teeth at this point.

"Well", she shrugged. "I guess it was always gonna happen anyways", and just like that, the rest of the girls went back to their conversations, while you mulled over what the hell you had just done.

You were already gonna tell Noah to come with you to the wedding the moment she handed out the invitations, which, was going to be a difficult task in itself, since Noah held a grudge against Jade to this day. But you were sure you could convince him with the all-inclusive resort argument.

Now, not only did you have to convince him to go with you, but you had to tell him you told the girls you were dating?

You were already thinking of excuses not to go.

When everyone was finished with their meals, they slowly started to say their goodbyes. You did the same, giving each one of them a kiss on the cheek as you made your way out of the restaurant and to your car.

When you got in, you instantly fished your phone from your purse, dialing Noah's number.

"You need saving from the botox bitch?", Noah answered the phone. You rolled your eyes, but laughed anyway.

"I'm already leaving the restaurant, actually. I was calling to ask if I can come over"

"Since when do you call to ask if you can come over?", he asked, confusion in his voice. He was right, you usually just showed up.

"I don't know? To make sure you're home?"

"You know I'm always home"

"Can I comer over or not?", you asked again, a hint of fake annoyance in your voice.

"Of course you can"

"Then I'll see you in fifteen", you said, hanging up the phone and starting your car.

On the way over to Noah's house, you've been thinking about how you were going to break the news. You still had a little while to think about what you were going to tell him, but, you knew that as soon as he saw your face, he'd know you were hiding something from him.

So, without an actual plan, you decided to tell him today. That way, you wouldn't have to torture youself for days with this information, and you gave him more time to prepare. That is, if he even decided to go.

You trusted your abilities to convince him, though. Noah had a history of doing whatever you wanted just to see you happy, and you never took advantage of that, but desperate times call for for desperate measures. Besides, a vacation to the Bahamas, with all expenses paid, didn't seem all that bad. Even if you had to endure Jade for a few days.

Parking outside, you gave yourself a pep talk before leaving your car and locking it behind you. Using your spare key, you unlocked the front door and made your way inside the living room, announcing your arrival by calling Noah's name.

"I'm right here, what are you yelling for?", he answered from the couch, the PS5 controller in his hands. You just shrugged in answer, and sat next to him.

Grabbing your purse, you pulled out the fancy wedding invitation Jade had handed to you, and set it on the couch beside him and between the two of you. Grabbing it and reading what was written in gold letters, Noah's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Oh, so the queen of botox is getting married to the king of botox?", you gave him a sideways glance, but smiled at his nicknames for the couple. It did suit them, after all.

"Yeah, they are. Jade couldn't help but announce it today", you pointed out.

"Well, are you going?", he asked, setting the invitation back down.

"Hmm. It depends, I guess", you answered, avoiding his eyes and you could tell he already clocked that something is wrong.

"Why?", he asked, a little hesitant.

"Jade said we can bring a plus one"

"Yeah, you usually can at weddings"

"And I was thinking....", you trailed off and looked at him, seeing the exact moment the realization dawned on him, and he immediately started to shake his head.

"There is no way", he said, getting up from the couch and walking over to the kitchen. You got up as well and went after him.

"Why not?", you asked him, a little bit of whining in your voice.

"Are you seriously asking 'why not'?"

"I mean, I know you don't like her, but c'mon, this is gonna be a nice wedding. Besides, it's in the Bahamas, and Peter is paying for everything", you argued.

"Is it's because it's in the Bahamas, I can pay for a vacation for us in the Bahamas, no problem", he crossed his arms against his chest.

"It's not because of that"

"Y/N", he stepped closer towards you. "You know you can just go alone, right?"

"I can't go alone", you huffed in annoyance, because his argument was totally valid, but you did not have that option anymore, all because of your big mouth and will to please everyone.

"Why not?", he asked, confusion etched all over his face.

"Because...", your shoulders slumped as you realized the gravity of your mistake.

"Hey", he grabbed your shoulders, sensing your discomfort. You were never uncomfortable around him, so this behaviour from you scared him a little bit. "You can tell me, what is it?"

"I told them I have a boyfriend", you say, voice low and a little embarassed.

"But you don't have a boyfriend", he observed the obvious, having difficulty in understanding where you were going with this.

"I told them it was you", you looked down towards the floor, fingers going to rub your forehead as you waited for his reaction. The seconds ticked by, and the silence ate you alive.

"You...", he started, but stopped himself in his tracks, head going over what you just told him, to make sure he got it right. "You told them we were dating?", you answered with a head nod, still looking down.

"Y/N", he said your name with a little bit of annoyance lacing his tone. He looked up at the ceiling, as if willing the heavens to give him the strength to deal with you.

"I know, I know", you say, looking up at him. "It was just that they were drilling me about this and I didn't know what to do!"

"Tell them you're not dating anyone?", he deadpanned, and you hated that he kept stating the obvious.

"Yeah, but they already see me as the odd one out, what are they gonna think when I tell them that I'm almost thirty and not dating anyone? They're all engaged, for fucks sake!", you exclaimed and started to pace around the kitchen.

"You worry about what they think of you too much", Noah pointed out. He hated the way you felt like you always had to please them, they way you always thought you had to fit in into their world.

"It's ok, I'll just come up with an excuse so I don't have to go to the wedding", you waved your hand, dismissing this conversation. You were already feeling your head start to throb. You made your way to the couch, grabbing your purse, and the invitation.

Behind you, you hear Noah let out a big breath, before softly calling out your name. You stopped in front of the door and turned around to face him.

"You owe me big fucking time", he pointed a finger at you, and you couldn't help but let a smile dance over your lips.

"You're gonna do this?", you asked, a little doubtful.

"You're doing my laundry for two weeks", he comprimised. "No, three weeks. Fuck it, you're doing my laundry for a whole fucking month"

You cheered at this, not minding it one bit. His laudry was easy since he only had black clothes.

You skipped your way over to him, reaching your arms up and circling them around his neck to pull him into a hug. You couldn't see, but he had a smile on his lips as well.

At this moment, Noah thinks he would do just about anything to keep you happy.

"At least she can't make fun of your hair anymore", you observed, as you parted from him. He groaned in reply.

"Don't fucking push it", he warned you, but there was no real threat to his words.

"Oh!", you snapped your fingers as you remembered an important information about the wedding. "I forgot to tell you something"

"What is it?", he asked, looking at you sideways in suspiscion.

"It's at an all-inclusive resort", you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. "Besides", you continued "Jade's probably gonna invite so many people, we won't even cross paths with her", you observed.

"I hope you're right"

To say you had a lot of time to prepare was a lie. Time flew by incredibly fast, and in between work, choosing a dress and picking up a suit for Noah - who complained endlessly about having to wear it, you argued that he can't wear a black tank top to a wedding, and he huffed and puffed even more - you were only one day away from boarding the plane.

You were going over everything in your suitcase. Another thing Noah was going to complaing about, you can hear his voice in your head asking you why you needed so much stuff. You zipped it up when you decided that obsessively thinking if you forgot anything was not going to make you magically remember something.

You texted Noah that you were ready for him to pick you up. You both decided it was best if you slept over at his house, and he was asking one of the boys to drive you over to the airport for practical reasons.

It wasn't too long before you heard honking outside, signaling Noah's arrival. You took everything you needed, and looked around you to make sure you locked everything up, and when you were satisfied with your quick inspection, you walked over and opened the front door.

Noah was opening the trunk when he saw you.

"Don't say anything", you raised your hand up to stop the words you were sure were going to stumble from his lips. He raised his arms up in surrender and didn't say anything. But, he did make overexaggerated grunting noises as he hauled your bags inside the trunk. You ignored him and went to lock your front door instead.

Getting in the car and driving away, you pulled your phone from your pocket.

"Jade already texted the flight information", you observed.

"At least she's competent", he retorted.

"Imma need you to try and be civil, at least. Remember we're going to enjoy the beach and drinks", you reminded him of what you've been saying for the past weeks. "And you can't call them botox queen and botox king".

"If she doesn't talk shit about my tattoos, we'll be fine", he argued back.

"Her husband has tattoos", you pointed out, as if that makes the situation any better.

"I bet it's some fine line pussy ass tattoo of a lion or some shit like that", he grunted in annoyance, remembering he's gonna have to deal with Jade AND her husband.

"You know what?", you rubbed you chin in thought. "I think it actually is", you pondered, and you both couldn't help but cackle out loud about the fact that he was most likely right about the tattoo.

The rest of the day went on without a hitch. You ordered some food so you didn't get any pans or pots dirty before traveling, and soon, you were both ready for bed, since you were leaving pretty early in the morning to catch your flight.

You were getting comfortable in Noah's left side of the bed, when he came in the room, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, joining you under the covers.

Plugging your phone to charge, you turn to look at him, doing the same.

"Did you set the alarm?", you asked and he hummed a yes. "Did you set it really loud?", he hummed in reply once again.

He knew you got anxious whenever you had to do something important in the morning. You always thought some entity was going to disable the alarms you set on your phone and you wouldn't wake up in time.

"Don't worry, we'll get there with lots of time to spare", he reassured you, and opened his arms so you could lay against his chest.

Sleep found you easily, as it always did whenever you and Noah slept on the same bed. You were used to sleeping in an empty house, since you've been living on your own ever since you moved for college. But to say your sleep was calm and serene was a lie.

With him, you felt safer, like he could protect you from everything and anything. You trusted him more than you trusted anyone else in your life.

Noah, wasn't as tired as you were, and he contemplated how these days were going to go over as he waited for your breath to even out. It was a ritual of sorts whenever you two slept together. He always waited for you to fall asleep first. And, sometimes, when you had difficulty sleeping, he sang some soft tunes, or rubbed your scalp the way he knew you liked, and that always did the trick.

Next time you woke up, was with Noah's shrill alarm ringing on the bedside table. He really did set it really loud, because you were groaning and telling him to turn it off. He woke up with a yawn, disentangling his arm from under your torso to finally quiet the alarm.

Yawning and stretching your limbs all over the bed, you heard Noah chuckle beside you.

"You're like a damn cat, stretching like that", he pointed out, looking at you with a smile on his face.

He always thought you were the most adorable in the morning. Your hair was a little messed up, and your eyes were all tired and fighting sleep. A part of him wished he could just pull you back to rest beside him and resume sleep. But, the trip from hell awaited the two of you.

Getting up from the bed, he announced he was going to brush his teeth and take a shower, meanwhile, you busied yourself gathering all of the suicases and backpacks downstairs.

As soon as Noah left the bathroom, you went in there and did your morning routine as well as you could with your stuff all packed away. Luckily, you kept a few things over at his place for convenience.

Changing into something comfortable for the airport, you made your way downstairs and found Noah dressed in usual sweatpants and hoodie combo.

"Did you grab your sleep mask? I won't lend you mine this time", you told him. Last time, you had to endure a whole flight without your sleep mask, because Noah had forgotten his, and you had no heart to tell him no when he asked to borrow yours.

"Yes, ma'am. I grabbed my sleep mask", he answered. "I already texted Jolly, and he's on his way to pick us up".

"Did you lock everything up?"

"Yep, already checked the entire house while you were showering"

Noah was used to this. You had a ritual everytime you were travelling, and he learned that getting ahead of you was the best thing to do. That way, you wouldn't get stressed with things he didn't do, or forgot.

Right on cue, you heard a horn souding outside, Noah opened the door and was greeted with Jolly waving from inside the car.

"Ok, let's go", you clapped your hands in a "chop chop" motion.

On the way to the airport, Noah and Jolly chatted on the front seat, while you went over the flight details on your phone, making sure everything was in order for check-in. Noah hated airports, so he left you in charge of everything he found boring.

The drive was short, and soon, you were bidding Jolly goodbye at the drop off zone, and you didn't miss the little pat on the back and the "good luck" he wished Noah before getting back in his car and driving away.

Checking-in, you and Noah found a place to sit while he grabbed some breakfast for the two of you. While you sat there, eating and waiting, you were reminded of a very important detail that you forgot to discuss with him.

"Oh, my God! I totally forgot to talk to you about something", you exclaimed, swatting him in the chest to get his attention.

"This is the second time you forgot to tell me something about this wedding trip", he said.

"When they ask us how we got together, what are we gonna tell them?", you ask him. You've been going over all the lies you'd need to tell during this trip, and you realized that you and Noah didn't have a game plan at all.

"That one day, you professed your undying love for me and then we started to date?", he said, as if the answer was obvious, but you could tell he was sprinkling a little bit of sarcasm in there.

"I'm serious, Noah", you huffed, looking at him. "We have to be beliveable, otherwise, they'll catch on, and ruin the whole thing"

"We can just tell them that we realized we wanted to have something more than just a friendship", he suggested, and the idea wasn't so bad. Jade always said you'd end up together from how much time you spend with each other.

"Out of nowhere?"

"No, we've been hiding our feelings, thinking that the other didn't feel the same way, until, one day, I told you I liked you and you told me you liked me too", you rubbed your chin, thinking over his plan. "It's not overcomplicated and if we stick to the same story, we'll be fine", he reassued you. "Besides, Jade is so self-absorbed she'll probably not even ask anything about us at all"

"That's very likely", you agreed with his reasoning. After all, it was Jade's wedding, so the light is gonna be on her, and not on you and Noah.

"What about PDA?", you broached another subject that you've been avoiding.

"If you wanna kiss me, you can just ask, you know?", he teased you, nudging you with his shoulder.

"It's not what I meant, and you know it", you told him, but you weren't able to hide the little blush covering your cheeks, and he noticed too, by the way he was grinning.

"I can hold your hand. I mean, I kind of already do. But let's just go with the flow. You don't have to worry too much about this, it's just a couple of days, after all", he said, and he was right. You and Noah meshed well and were usually in the same wavelength, so there was no reason to think things were going to go south.

You just hoped you had time to relax and enjoy the beach, the drinks and the foods, which, if you knew Jade as well as you did, were going to be impeccable.

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[friedtyrantbasement]

Tough conversations and good distractions

M reader

Cast: Yizhuo, Aeri, Yooyeon (not mentioned often)

Tags: smut, top reader, cheating, angst, marrital issues, drama, multi part series

WC: 3.8k

This felt like a repeat of how your parents argued. Your tie feels tight around your neck, this is what you never wanted to feel at any point in your adult life.

Your marriage was going through a rough patch for a while. Like, a seriously long while.

Yizhuo and yourself had been together for almost a year now, and at the beginning of your marriage you felt like nothing could go wrong. Of course, the honeymoon period didn't last long.

It's not like you try your best to fix it either in all honesty. You work in a fast-paced corporate job and the last thing you need to come home to is your wife asking you incessantly about who you've been conversing with and other questions you feel like you answered a million times.

You don't like to lie but distractions were needed to help keep you in your right mind.

“Baby, for the last time. The only one I have my eyes on is you. I swear it.” You learned to give that speech almost every time she felt insecure. It was getting over used, you might need to paraphrase it soon.

On top of Yizhuo’s knack for insecure behaviour, you have to deal with her family's high expectations. You're the vice president of your older brother's company but that wasn't enough for your in-laws. They wanted you to start your own company, be risky but that just wasn't who you were. You're a laid back guy who enjoys doing his job and one hell of a good one at that and getting paid without making any huge decisions that could affect other people at large.

“God, I just don't understand why you can't talk to me! You act like I'm not here for you when I tell you that you can always talk to me.” You want to roll your eyes at her words. Yizhuo would look impeccable if it weren't for the fact that you thought she had gone deaf in one ear.

“No sweetheart, I said that I simply have nothing to talk about, not that I can't talk with you.” You say gripping the dinner table you're currently leaning back on as your wife sits on the couch away from you. Yizhuo had been pressing you for answers on why you were so quiet these days but you just weren't up for it.

She licks her lips, her tongue sliding over her plump bottom lip and squeezing her eyes tightly as she blinks, as if she was calming herself down.

“I just have been…. Hearing things.” She starts.

“What things, Yizhuo?” You say her name, which makes her shift in her seat. Now she's rubbing her hands as if she's going to hear heartbreaking news.

“I've heard… that you've been seeing another woman. Specifically, that new girl on your work team.” Oh lord. You want to rip your hair out. ‘Is she seriously accusing me of sleeping with a university intern that I haven't even met?’ Your thoughts laugh at the situation, it's hilarious at this point.

The person she should worry about is the one closest to her.

“Oh really? And who told you that? Your little spy Aeri? She barely knows left from right and how many times has she been wrong about shit like this? Huh? Drop it, Yizhuo. I'm serious.”

You were dead serious, tired and not in the mood to be playing bullshit with your wife this early in the morning right before work. “Fine! But I still don't get why you just can't say ‘No honey, I'm not cheating’. Why can't you just say that to me?” Yizhuo says, throwing her hands up in defeat as she gets up to head to your shared bedroom.

A sigh leaves your mouth. This has gotten ridiculous. “You know what? I don't think that no matter what I say or do you're ever going to believe me. That's why, Yizhuo. So I'm going to work now and I would recommend you to drop this nonsense before I get home.”

You don't even let her say something back. You grab your work bag, car keys and you're gone with the wind. Now you're in the worst possible mood ever, sorry to all of your coworkers today.

—

“What's up with the VP today? He's crashing out over a few small mistakes.” One of your coworkers whispered in the break room. “Isn't he married to that fine woman? What issues could he have?” Another one said, edged with slight envy.

“Probably just some troubles in paradise. It's their one year mark soon. Everything goes to shit after that, I would know.” A supervisor says, his voice quieting with the last part of his dialogue. As if it was scripted, the workers collectively release a sigh, remembering the way they used to formerly be with their partners.

Of course, there was always someone keeping an ear out for a good conversation—minus the collective sigh at the end—especially when it has to do with someone she's been keeping an eye out for.

You are half near losing your mind. The argument from this morning and now your team was making numerous mistakes regardless of how small they were. ‘Fuck, I need to smoke’ You think getting out of your chair that you'd been glued to for the past four hours. Besides, the air and the person waiting for you will clear your head.

You press the elevator button a few times and that small action makes you wonder just when you have become such an impatient person. You used to love a good wait time especially when you were about to do something you had promised yourself you would never do again. Fortunately, the elevator opens, inviting you to enter it and whisk yourself away from the stress of your life.

“Hold it, please!” You hear a feminine voice call out, her heels making a light jog towards the elevator which you hold your arm out, keeping it open. “Thank you so much. I wasn't ready to wait another 10 minutes for the elevators.” The black haired girl breathes out and you chuckle nodding your head at her.

“I hear it. I still can't believe they only have two elevators for a fifteen floor building.” You say, getting a better look at the woman who's in a neat pencil skirt and a button up shirt. “What's your name? Haven't seen you before.” You mention extending your hand to the woman.

She takes your hand shaking it. “The names Yooyeon. Don't bother introducing yourself, I think we'll end up seeing each other more often.” Just then the elevator opens cueing her leave. Yooyeon waves as she steps off the elevator. You watch her walk away. Your eyes are unnecessarily narrowing down on her ass as the elevator closes.

You breathe out a sigh, it has been a while since you had an easy going conversation with someone. You think for a split second just as you enter the rooftop. “Well well well, look who we have here.” You hear a sensual voice purr.

“Oh my, is that my wife's makeshift CIA investigator? Goodness, what do I owe the pleasure, Aeri.” You say sarcastically walking beside the woman, pulling out a cigarette to which Aeri lights it up for you. The woman dangerously close, you can smell her Chanel perfume as her eyelashes bat at you.

“Oh dear, have I ruffled your feathers on such a pleasant morning, sir?” She says, coyly placing her hand on the lapel of your suit. You remove her hand and breathe out your smoke onto her face. “Do you find yourself happy confusing my wife?” She fans the smoke away from her and smiles at you, if it were anyone else they would have misunderstood her smile as a genuine one.

“I enjoy it just as much as you like filling me up.” Her words make you clench your jaw. Your hand that does not have a cigarette lodged between two fingers grips her face. “Watch that mouth. You're much more careless than I thought.” Aeri only grips your blazer and throws your hand away from her face.

You breathe in smoke again, holding it in and then you blow it out. You know what's going to happen after this. You know you can't trust yourself with this woman, and she knows that just as well as you do. So you step out your cigarette and press your lips against hers. Aeri meets you with fervor and passion.

“You know you can't get enough.” She whispers haughtily, confident in herself. Unfortunately, you know she's right and so you burst out laughing to her confusion. Aeri almost gets the chance to ask you what's wrong with you but you kiss her again. Your tongue running over her lips, sucking on her bottom lip, and just like that Aeri feels like she's the only one in the world. Pressing chaste kisses all over her lips and then you slide your tongue into her mouth. You hear her release a moan, a pretty one at that. It rings in your ear, letting you grip the back of her neck pushing her as close as you possibly could.

It's an addiction, one that feels so good, one that you doubt you could stop. So you don't. You're driving Aeri to one of her father's numerous hotels to check in to so you can take your fingers out of her cunt and stick something else in.

“Fuck- drive faster, you piece of shit.” The name calling makes you scoff. “Didn't I tell you to watch your fucking mouth earlier?” You curl the pads of your fingers to hit her spot. Aeri's back arches, the back of her hand falling lightly over her mouth as she tears up. Finally, you achieve your desired silence minus the moans and ‘Fuck’ and ‘Mm right there’ ‘s coming from Aeri's mouth.

Unfortunately, you reach your destination all too quickly. You slide your fingers out of her sopping folds and she shoots you a glare but nevertheless gets out of the car, walking a few paces ahead of you. The receptionist is used to the two of you and your monthly rendezvous with the Chairman's daughter.

“Don't take so long, you know what we're here for and I’d rather not spend more time with you than I'd like to.” Aeri says, as you zip her black short dress down. You roll your eyes and push her onto the bed without much regard for her. You throw off your blazer and pull your tie off only to unbutton the first button. You crawl closer to her, you bury your face into her neck, pressing a hot kiss against her pale skin.

By the time you're done making love with her neck, your belt has been unbuckled and your pants are off. Aeri's fingers pull the waistband of your boxers down with some help of yourself. “Come on, put it in.” She whines into your ear, you aim your length at her entrance but don't do as the vixen wants.

“So fucking whiny for it, why don't you beg? Act a little cute for me, won't you? It's been so hard calming my wife down because of your evil whispers.” Aeri stiffens at the mention of Yizhuo. You can see her eyes flicker, you wonder if that's if she feels bad or if she doesn't like how much you're talking.

But the thought of reality doesn't last long before you feel Aeri press her dainty and magically gorgeous hand on your chest pushing you down onto your back. Aeri unbuttons the rest of your blouse at a torturously slow speed, which you would never admit turned you on a bit. She presses hot kisses down your torso starting at your jaw, so near to your lips and further down she went.

As a natural occurrence would have it she landed just where your lower stomach is. Her tongue flat against your stomach, giving it small kisses and kitten licks. You just wish she'd go a bit lower so you hold a hand to the back of her head and try to escort her way to your hard, pre cum leaking cock.

“You want me to suck on him? Act a little cute for me, won't you?” Referring to your cock as ‘him’ and the sarcastic repetition of your words. The two of you lock eyes for a moment before you feel the need to kiss her again. So you do as you desire but not before you get what you want.

You wrap a hand around your cock and push it closer to her lips. Aeri looks up at you and you tilt your head slightly with a pout on your lips, as your back rests against her head board. She gives in to your little show and wraps her lips around your tip, her tongue makes small circles around the head before letting more of your length slide into her mouth. You suck in a deep breath as you feel Aeri apply suction.

Your hand naturally returns to the back of her neck politely urging her to take more of your shaft. Aeri knows the desperation that you're displaying and she enjoys it but more than anything she enjoys seeing you crumble, that mask of being the all responsible, perfect family man and vice president just falls off under her touch.

Though this is something that she knows will never last forever, she gives in taking you into the back of her throat. She takes your cock whole, letting it hit the back of her throat and she lets her mouth head back to the tip. Aeri repeats this over and over. No regard for the way she’ll probably gag at having you so deep.

As if she wants to consume you whole, monopolise you, own you, the greed that she feels is most likely consuming herself but she delusions herself into thinking that she is not affected by the way your eyes are stuck onto hers.

Aeri can feel your hips twitch, as if you’re warning her unconsciously of your orgasm. Her tongue slides over your member, carefully paying attention to it in the most romantic way possible. The poised woman removes your cock from her warm mouth allowing your white hot to land on her face in untimed spurts. Your hand grabs some tissues on the bedside table of the bed to pass to your accomplice. To which she takes and carefully dabs her face, erasing any residue left.

Now you think for a moment, ‘She looks pretty.’ but you don't allow yourself to think any further, after all Aeri would tie a noose around your neck if she knew you had such thoughts, soft thoughts. You lay the woman down on her back, the rest of work would be on your part so you slide on a condom looking down at the woman under you.

“A man with no arms could move faster than you, don’t waste my time.” Aeri spits at you and you scoff at her words, lowering yourself and pressing your cock head against her wet entrance. Her back arches and her arms wrap around your neck as your cock enters her, filling every space in her cunt.

“Fuck, it’s been so long.” You groan as you bury your head into the crook of her neck, your hand slides under the back of her thigh caressing her softly as you fuck her. Aeri’s small swears and loud moans fill the hotel room along with your groans. Your hips rock back into her pelvis, and you can feel Aeri's small movements in an attempt to match your thrusts. You're stretching her out in ways she could never imagine. The tightness of her sopping pussy has you groaning out in awe.

Your eyes are stuck on the way Aeri's breasts move every time you fuck her. You throw her legs over your shoulders and get as close as humanly possible, your face perched between the woman's perfect boobs. Your mouth latches onto one of her nipples, sucking it, licking it, and giving it all your attention and focus. Aeri yelps and mewls, her luxurious sounds of pleasure leaking out of her pretty lips only encourages you to continue working her breasts. But you never forget to hit the deepest part of her pussy, you find yourself unable to stop giving the most concentrated strokes known to mankind.

“Go- god, keep going, you- fuck so perfect for me.” Aeri says as her hands manage to touch your face and bring you to focus on her face, that's contorted in the ecstasy that you bring her. Both of your lips find one another with some struggle of space, yet your tongue slides into her perfectly curated mouth and you spend time working her mouth. “You're the one who's so fucking perfect.” You praise her and you can tell she enjoys the words of affirmation after all, her cunt is tightening around you.

As if you would die if you did not seek pleasure from Aeri you continue to chase your high. Despite hers being long reached, Aeri can only let out gasps and whines asking you to give her a break. “I'll give you a break when you deserve one. I haven't even cum yet.” Your hips jerk again into her and her head falls back. The sounds of her moaning are rivaled by the sounds of your balls slapping harshly against her skin, additionally the wet sounds coming from her pussy. “You're acting like you don't enjoy this, you hear that? Those sounds are all yours. Don't get so fucking arrogant, you whore.” you spit out cruelly, and she responds with a sobbed out apology.

A small smile paints your lips, the feeling of pride swelling in your chest. Who else but you could bring the Chairman's daughter down a notch other than you? If the world was your oyster this is what you would be doing for the rest of your life. “That's what I thought. Don't forget your fucking place. And tell me where your place is?” You egg her on, you know Aeri knows the answer to this question. Her eyes look away from yours and she can only bite her lip. So you stop thrusting for a moment, which causes a whiny mewl to leave Aeri's lips.

“My place is..” she takes her time pronouncing the words. It only increases your satisfaction of watching the proud woman suddenly melt into a girl who only has her eyes on you. “...below you.” A smile slaps onto your face, your hand lands on her hair, caressing her so softly. You know she's waiting for her reward and it's your job to give her what she wants.

You bottom out in Aeri's cunt, filling her up, a cuss falls out of her mouth. Your hand goes under her thighs and pushes her knees beside her head. Your fucking her rough and murderously fast, she's practically screaming. Your cock is hitting a perfect spot, your teeth are gritting together. “This is what good girls get when they act good.” You say, your voice low and deep as Aeri reaches yet another earth shattering orgasm. Yours is on the way soon, with the way your balls are tightening. You slide out of her, you take off your condom, then you push yourself back in.

“No- wait, you can't. That's too-” Your hand falls over your mouth. “Shut the fuck up, I'm not cumming inside of you, dumb whore. I'm just feeling your insides a bit.” And to your expectations, it felt so good, you should've done this from the start. You're orgasming soon though so you slide out your cock again and let yourself finish on her tits and face.

Both of you are panting, completely out of breath. “What's with you today?” Aeri says, obviously annoyed with you, but you couldn't bother to care. “My wife and I have an interview to get to. I'll shower first.” You ignore her question and take a quick peek at your watch that is currently the only piece of clothing you have along with your ring. “Well, since you didn't read the list of interviewees. My father and I are also getting interviewed. We have no time.” You know what Aeri means and you smile.

She rolls her eyes and grabs you by the elbow and leads you to the washroom. Suddenly you feel like you have an extra 20 minutes to spare. So long as you get another blow from her. “Let's get each other clean, Uchinaga.”

—

“Do you know how much we're running late?!” You hear Yizhuo say from the second floor of your mansion. “Honey, we're fine. It's a 25 minute drive.” You were thankful that your limo at least had champagne in there to keep you company as your wife freaks out over the time.

Your eyes catch Yizhuo peeking down at you from the ledge of the stairs. Her face coloured in seriousness with her full lips pursed into an unhappy one. You lock eye contact with her and pull out one of your award winning smiles, the one that you'd use during the interview.

“Get off your phone, and tell the chauffeur to pull around.” Yizhuo's voice is elegant and perfect, and you know she means it. “Now, please.” Though it doesn't sound like Yizhuo is asking, rather she's demanding, and of course you comply. You go outside to see your chauffeur, an older gentleman with grey hair and a heartwarming aura.

“Pull around the limo, the one with alcohol. Thank you, Greg.” He nods at your words with a polite smile on his face, and he's off to get the car. You turn around to go grab your blazer and Yizhuo's fur coat off the couch.

“Sweetheart, thank you for getting my coat. You're perfect.” Yizhuo says, pressing a soft kiss against your cheek as you open the door outside for her. “Anything for you, my beloved.” You say, holding the coat open for her to slip on easily, which she does. You throw on your black coat easily. Yizhuo's coat is black fur, befitting of her white cocktail dress.

“You look gorgeous, I'm almost hurt that someone else will see you looking this good.” You compliment, earning a smile and an elegant giggle from your wife. “And all of this will be yours when we get home. As long as you're on your best behaviour.” She says coyly, and you could practically feel your cock hardening under your pants.

You couldn't wait to get this over with, get home and collect your prize. Whether you would live up to deserve it… well we'll find out.

[joudama]

And that’s that for Veilguard. Got all the achievements and got the four main possible endings (didn’t bother with the bad ending where you do none of the side quests, everyone dies, and you end up trapped in the Fade forever with Solas).

My four Rooks:

Female Shadow Dragon elf mage - saved Minrathous - romanced Harding - punched Solas in the face

Female Antivan Crow human rogue - saved Treviso - romanced Lucanis - tricked Solas into using the fake dagger

Male Grey Warden dwarf warrior (this was originally going be a Qunari, but I couldn’t get over the yassified look of all the qunari I tried to make and I gave up) - saved Treviso - romanced Davrin (meant to romance Bellara and lol welp, that didn’t happen) - big softie who sent Solas into the Fade with the Inquisitor

Male Mourn Watch elf mage - saved Minrathous - romanced Emmrich (meant to romance Bellara or Neve and lol welp, that didn’t happen) - told the Inquisitor she could do better and made Solas go off into the Fade alone.

My Mourn Watch one is probably going to be my “canon” run, since I liked it the best (that’s not saying much) of my runs. I went with a life leeching run for him, including using the unique items that made health potions/companion heals not work, and beefed up leeching. Literally the only time I died was when my controller ran out of juice in the middle of a dragon fight. The Elgar’nan fight was over so fast I was like, “Wait, is that it?” It was like the curb stomp fight in Inquisition with Corypheus before they let you have enemies scale up with you.

And now for my thoughts. And oh boy, do I have a lot of them. Hoo.

I have…so many issues with this game. It is a very good…whatever the gaming equivalent of a popcorn flick is. It’s great if you go in with your brain turned off and enjoy all the shiny. But that’s not what I want in a Dragon Age game. I’ve been replaying DA2 - the game that DATV is basically trying to channel - while playing these, and the difference in writing quality and intricacy of plot and world building could not be more sharp. The first time I played DATV, I thought it was fine. Almost aggressively fine. I had fun with streaming the game and seeing where it went. I loved the reveals with the wolf statues. I had some major issues with the writing being as subtle as a brick to the face at times (more on my thoughts about the dialogue LATER, because oh boy), but it was serviceable. And I genuinely thought Veilguard had been robbed by not being nominated for Art Direction at the Game Awards, because say what you will, the areas are fucking gorgeous. But, even then, I was like, “Yeah, this would not have deserved a GOTY nomination had it gotten one,” and placed it at a 7 or 8 out of 10. A good enough, enjoyable game that ran well, but was not by any means GOTY material.

Then I made the mistake of playing it again, and the cracks began to show. By the time I hit the middle of Act 2 of my third run, I was just so done. I hated every time certain companions had anything to say at all. I hated that you couldn’t call people out for being a jerk but had to be the supportive nursery school teacher at all times to them. And for the first time playing any BioWare game at all, I found myself wishing I could either not recruit certain people or kick them out of camp. The cracks were beyond showing at that point, and I no longer thought the writing was even “serviceable.” Things that hadn’t seemed so bad on that first popcorn flick run suddenly became a problem - not being able to actually talk to your companions to get to know them went from “it feels more natural to have them saying this stuff while out in the field” to “what is even the point of going around the Lighthouse if all it gets me is a line spoken at me or overhearing bits of them having ACTUAL conversations?” It legitimately hurt replayability. I missed being able to actually talk to my companions, and I realized I cared more about Manfred and Assan than most of my companions because Manfred and Assan actually seemed to like interacting with me. I will take Manfred’s rock-paper-scissors game over a “hey Rook” and dead-eyed stare.

By the time I hit late act 2, I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could delete the damn game off my hard drive…only for the last achievement I had yet to get to NOT pop when I finished the game. I looked it up and discovered it wasn’t set by triggering a certain end state, but was tied to picking some flowers in Act 2, and wanted to cry. I don’t usually 100% games, especially if I feel like some of the achievements are bullshit I don’t want to do (‘sup, MELE needing you to do some Armax Arena Spectre-level fight - I would sooner chew off my own arm than do that, as anyone who watched me stream Veilguard would have guessed watching me kvetching the whole time I was doing that Hall of Valor shit), but that was just frustrating. I decided to try to get it on a fresh run as a Mourn Watcher, since I’d heard that was one of the surprisingly good faction backgrounds, and that was a good choice. Mourn Watch became my favorite faction, when it had been Shadow Dragons until then. It added so much to a lot more conversations than I would have thought, and made it so I actually enjoyed the sadly few times you get to actually have conversations instead of eavesdropping/being talked at. I’m glad I decided to slog through one more time for that achievement, because if I’d ended it on that third run, I know I would have never played it again. It turned back into a popcorn movie again, aided by me knowing when to put on a YouTube video and watch or scroll through Bluesky instead of listening to a certain character be the fucking worst. If I ever play again, it’ll be a Mourn Watcher (I already know the Veil Jumpers and Lords of Fortune are considered, shall we say, lackluster background factions.)

Which brings me to some of the big, fundamental problems this game had.

This is not a CRPG. It’s just not. It’s an action RPG now, with the focus on “action” not “RPG.” It’s part of the whole Mass Effect-ification of Dragon Age. And I say this as a huge Mass Effect fan:

Dragon Age should not be like Mass Effect. And vice versa.

When Andromeda came out, they decided to ditch the Paragon/Renegade system, and instead went for DAI-style emotion-based options. Which seems great! More speech choices to make a more nuanced Ryder instead of picking up or down! Great! Only no! A lot of people hated it because it didn’t feel like Mass Effect. They had taken away something that had seemed like a major part of how you roll played in the series, and replaced it something very different. It was the first time they took a mechanic from one game and ported it into another, and it didn’t really go over well with a lot of ME fans because it didn’t feel like a Mass Effect mechanic.

And now with Veilguard, they basically made a Mass Effect game with a Dragon Age skin on it. And it just doesn’t work.

Combat: They copied the combat wheel from Mass Effect, but did it kind of badly. I honestly hated it because I tried to play like I do in Mass Effect - pull it up, use it to look around and get a handle on my environment, then pick an enemy or a safe space to bolt to - and the camera snapping the enemies meant I couldn’t. It drove me crazy because it was like the Mass Effect wheel but fundamentally not, and the camera drove me mad because I’d pull it up trying to find where the nearest blight boil was, and it would snap on enemies instead of just letting me look. It’s like they wanted to get rid of every little bit of tactical game play and replace with smashy smashy bang bang instead. Don’t think, don’t plan, just attack…which fits in with the popcorn flick-ness of DATV. Don’t think, just do. Turn your brain off and look at the particle effects.

Another Mass Effect-ification with regards to combat is dropping from taking 3 companions to 2. Which you need to do to have that Mass Effect style combat wheel, and the Mass Effect 3/Andromeda style primer/detonation style interaction of companion powers. Detonations were very satisfying, but not very Dragon Age-y, and requires throwing out some of that DA lore to make it work, because now everyone uses magic-based abilities even if they aren’t mages. Assan attacks deal fire damage. You can spec a warrior who calls up a giant lightning hammer to twirl around, and…how? That’s not enchantment, that’s plain ol’ magic, and how?! Warriors didn’t deal magic-based attacks unless their weapons where enchanted before, but now, everyone is just tossing magic attacks at everything. That’s not how the world of Thedas has worked until now, but you can’t have those flashy explosions or particle effects otherwise, so shhh, turn off your brain and don’t think, shhh. Look at the screen light up and the pretty lights. It worked in Mass Effect because they had already set up tech and biotic attacks, but there’s no way to make hitting something hard with a sword cause it to blow up and damage all the other baddies around them, so now everyone has magic. OK.

As an aside, it was also a really bad idea of get rid of how aggro worked. Dragon Age had always worked by warriors drawing aggro because they had the heavier armor (or could use taunt on enemies targeting squishy mages or rogues). Rogues had lower aggro because they had lighter armor, and could sneak. Mages had even lower aggro because they had the lightest armor and were distance fighters. DATV threw that out the window, and Rook draws all aggro because they are the only ones with a health bar. Your squad is immortal in fights, which means there’s no reason for enemies to ever target them. Which means god help you early game when mages and rogues have no real skills yet. Enjoy dodging while your companions hit the enemies with what seems like attacks as powerful as spitballs. It also means that there are times what the game tells you and the fight you just did are completely at odds. Remember that fight with the Wrath of the Stone in Harding’s companion quest? That thing is on your ass the entire time, but then at the end of it, Rook says something along the lines of “It really hates Harding,” and…are you gaslighting me, game? That thing ignored Harding the whole damn time in favor of trying to stomp me like a cockroach. Harding did not exist to it during my fight. It had a hate boner for Rook and Rook alone, no matter what the game tried to insist on after.

Now, imagine how that would have felt if Harding actually could have been killed/knocked out during the fight, and it was only going after her? What if you couldn’t damage it if it took her down, so you had to make sure she stayed alive? Imagine how different that fight would have hit then? But no, that would mean the devs have to think about how to rez characters and how healing would work, and would mean players have to be tactical, and shh, no, no more of that, no thinking, just dodge and hit things and look at the particle effects. Shh. Have some more popcorn.

Story: DATV wants so badly to be ME2. It wants to recall the companion loyalty quests and the big suicide mission where you have to have everyone ready or you’ll all die. But you can’t copy what you did before and get the same flowers and results. You just can’t. You can try, and all you’ll get is diminishing returns. They tried to do the big cosmic horror of ME1, complete with a Virmire choice, then have the big final stakes of ME2, and no. You can’t follow a template and get the same greatness. That’s not how it works.

And speaking of following templates…

Romances: The romances in Veilguard are just dismal. And I think it’s because they decided to follow the Mass Effect pacing formula instead of the Dragon Age one.

Dragon Age: You start flirting in Act 1. You usually flirt with everyone because hey, why not? Some time in Act 2, things start getting serious, and you have to settle on who you want to go for. Things start to get serious, you get together, and then you get happy fun adult time with your new LI. You get the option to break it off or commit to them fully. By Act 3, you’re in a committed relationship. People comment about it. You can go to them and spend time with them - nothing major, maybe just a kiss. There might also be a special scene that’s just with them and unique to the romance. And by the end, after the lengthy amount of time that’s passed, you are Together.

Mass Effect: You start flirting in Act 1. You usually flirt with everyone because hey, why not? In Act 2, you keep on flirting with everyone. By the end, you might have to make a choice if you’re flirting too hard with everyone and the two LI options tell you to pick someone already, but you’re just picking who you’re interested in. Early in Act 3, there might be an almost kiss, but it’s mostly just the occasional anticipation of eventually boning and nothing really happens until right before the final big fight, when your LI shows up to your cabin for “oh shit, we might die in a few hours, so let’s go out with a high note” happy fun adult time. The only time you get that “committed relationship” vibes is in ME3 if you’re romanced the same character for at least one other game, and you choose to continue the relationship.

The Mass Effect pacing works in the Mass Effect trilogy because each game is only 20-40 hours long. Veilguard is a good 80 hours long. That means using that same amount of romance you use in ME is going to mean you’ve got too little butter to spread over too much bread. It’s why you have a good start for the romances in Act 1, then act 2 is a such a desert of nothing after you commit that I genuinely wondered if I’d hit the wrong option at said no at several points during the very long third act. There’s not just enough content for that long of an Act 2. Near the end everyone starts commenting on you being with them, but it’s not actually happening in the game. There’s no flirting, there are no extra scenes, and even the scene when you commit to them is based on a scene that happens with everyone, just with a romance option tacked on. The only person (of the ones I romanced, so I can’t speak to the others) who really get unique scenes was Emmerich. He actually takes you out on a unique date. It helped a lot to make Emmerich’s romance feel more fleshed out than the others. And Davrin had so many little jaunts out in the woods that those turned into romantic trips out, which added a lot to his. But Lucanis’ and Hardings? With both of them, like I said before, I genuinely wondered if I had accidentally opted out. Their romances most used the Mass Effect format, and it just doesn’t work for a game this long. BioWare knew that once, long ago, because Andromeda did not use the ME trilogy format for romances and was closer to one they used in DA. But DATV is trying to be ME2, so they used ME2’s very thin romances as a guide.

And we can all see how well that turned out.

The Executors: Fuck me, they feel like Cerberus reskinned, and I absolutely hated when Mass Effect shifted from sci-fi/Lovecraftian horror to space opera with Cerberus as the main bad guys you have to fight with the Reapers functionally falling to the background. The Executors are a secret, shadowy organization pulling strings from behind the scenes like the Shadow Broker codexes in ME2 retconned Cerberus into having been doing in ME. Ugh.

The Andromeda-ification of dialogue: Remember Peebee? Remember how she talked? Give her long hair and pointy ears, and she’s Bellara. Down even to the techno-babble. It’s like they’re trying to change magic to just “sufficiently advanced technology.” Everyone speaks in that modern, quippy style that was annoying in a game set hundreds of years in the future because it felt dated by the time the game came out (Ryder makes a Frozen joke, y’all). And it feels completely out of place in a game set in an early modern setting (I don’t think DA is medieval, honestly - it’s more a pre-industrialization/early scientific revoltution setting, so more 1500-1700s, and I’m gonna stop now). It was jarring. You can only let one quirky character break the rules about how people talk (Alistair in DAO, Varric in DA2, Cole in DAI) but when everyone does, it’s jarring. You can be anachronistic, but you have to know what you’re doing and how to do it when you do, and I’m sorry, but the current crop of BioWare writers don’t. They wrote the dialogue like it was a modern day YA novel, not a Dragon Age game. It would have been fine for a modern day urban fantasy game. It was not fine for a DA game set in the same time period as people using the four humours for “modern” medicine (remember the surgeon in DAI? Talked about the four humours? Yeah.)

OK, I did not intend to go on for this long, and I haven’t even gotten to what the game did to how religion is handled or the sociopolitical aspects of Thedas, and how they threw out so much that made Dragon Age unique in their urge to do a soft reboot, so I’m just going to end it here. I wanted to love this game, and I can only do that if I turn my brain off, and that’s not what Dragon Age should be.

[smut-anarchy]

Own Me - Chapter Two

Tags: Dom!Mattheo, Gryffandor!Reader, Cursing, Blackmail, Suggested Trauma & Death, Violence, Blood, M**blood Slurs

Rewritten as of: 12/26/2024

Word Count: 1,917 Words

Chapter Two: Worth It

“Merlin’s Robes, you look dreadful.” 

Under normal circumstances you found Luna’s way of talking to be charming, her refusal to mince words was always admirable and amusing. 

However, after a solid week of traipsing after Mattheo all around the castle and doing a majority of his classwork and homework while also struggling with your own, you were exhausted and mentally drained. You could hardly sleep, your dreams plagued by an amalgamation of anxiety-induced fears and Mattheo related nonsense, and when you were awake you’d hardly felt comfortable enough to do anything, concerned that he would call you in the middle of something and you’d have to book it to some godforsaken part of the castle. 

He’d already interrupted three showers, and you had the burns on your neck to prove he was truthful about the choker heating up the longer you’d took to get to him. You’d cleverly told Madam Pomfrey you’d taken up baking so the watchful healer was all too happy to give you a large amount of burn-healing paste, blissfully unaware of the true reason you needed such a cure.

So when you met Luna for your usual weekend exploration of the Forbidden Forest you knew you’d looked worse for wear. A small part of you thought to cancel on Luna this one time but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do such a thing. This had been a tradition with her ever since you became friends in first year, both of you bonding over the love of magical creatures. While Luna always seemed insistent she’d finally find the Nargles every single weekend, you’d simply been happy to enjoy the peaceful time in the forest, documenting and sketching any magical creatures in your personal journal. 

You’d offered Luna a withering smile, “I’m fine, Luna.”

She sent you a curious look but said nothing, walking towards the path their many days of exploring had created in the forest. Truthfully, you were glad for Luna’s acceptance of your disingenuous answer. Knowing that you couldn’t confide in her like you wished to meant you could only take solace in the serenity of nature for now. 

Your feet fell into step with Luna’s, both of your subconscious memories carrying you through the forest with ease. In moments like these you felt so comforted by Luna’s presence, she too often was mistaken as crazy with her unconventional ways but at her core she was such a soothing and kind soul. Though it made you feel immensely guilty for withholding the Mattheo situation from her, you’d felt more relaxed just walking along with her quietly.

“I think the Nargles would like Whispering Pond today. Maybe they’d like a swim before the cold sets in.” Luna suggested, you nodded at her, striding with her in the direction of the pond. 

You and Luna had discovered the small body of water in your third year, and it was easily one of the best discoveries of your school life. Though it was relatively close to Hogwarts it was hidden away, blocked by dense trees and berry bushes, when the wind swept through the towering trees Luna swore it was whispering secrets. The only creatures that seemed to frequent the pond were Nifflers, Jobberknolls and Glow Bugs, who usually recognized you and Luna after all these years, happy to receive food and pets occasionally. 

At the pond you preferred to sit on some stones, letting the cool October breeze wash over you. Luna occupied herself with looking around rocks closest to the pond, checking for lounging Nargles.  You had closed your eyes, breathing deeply to let go of everything that buried you this week. 

“The girls in my house are jealous. They say you and Mattheo Riddle have gotten quite close.”

Godric’s sword, I am going to drown myself.

You opened your eyes, Luna looking at you inquisitively. You should have expected this, word at Hogwarts traveling fast, and your fellow classmates were bound to notice you were suddenly always next to the Slytherin bad boy in and outside of class. Luna and you only shared the Care of Magical Creatures class, which thankfully Mattheo was not in, giving you a small reprieve and the ability to hide your newfound torturous relationship with Mattheo. In the last week you’d definitely caught some questioning looks and envious glares, but you’d brushed it off, much more concerned with Mattheo’s hold on your entire life than the petty feelings of strangers. 

“We are not close,” you snorted, “He’s an egotistical brute.” The truth burned on your tongue, longing to share everything with Luna, but with Mattheo’s cruel control literally wrapped around your neck meant there was no telling what he’d do to you or Luna if you let it slip.

“Is he perhaps why you are so tired?” Luna’s voice held a subtle teasing tone, “Perhaps he’s occupying too much of your night time hours.” 

“Luna! Absolutely not!” You blushed, face heating up as you sputtered firm denial. Such an accusation made you want to retch, the current reality was already horrifying, imagining anything further would likely send you into an early grave.

“Well I can hardly fault you if you did, he is quite handsome,” Luna jested, “Though I always figured Harry would be more your type.” 

“Harry? As in Harry Potter? Luna, have you been stung by a Swooping Evil? Do I need to take you to the infirmary?” You were floored, of all the things Luna could suggest, implying either of the boys would be suitable for you was just beyond impossible. 

“What’s wrong with Harry? He’s my friend you know!” Luna pushed. 

Nothing was wrong with Harry, he was handsome and sweet, though you’d hardly ever said much to him, he was too often getting into trouble with Hermione and Ron for you to build any kind of friendship with him. Even so, he attracted far too much attention to be an appropriate fit for you, you’d much preferred to stay away from the flashy kind of scrutiny Harry seemed to draw everywhere he went. 

As for Mattheo, well you would concede with Luna that he was, tragically, unfairly attractive. Though that hardly made up for his bad attitude and egotistical nature. He also attracted an uncomfortable amount of attention to you, though where Harry’s attention was not accumulated wholly by his fault, Mattheo’s was, the Slytherin seeming to thrive off of the endless rumors and gossip. Between his family, his inclination for fighting and the relentless list of lovers he gathered there wasn’t a soul who wasn’t aware of Mattheo Riddle.  

“Nothing! They’re both just… too much.” You asserted.

Luna looked at you, as her best friend you could see the hidden knowledge lingering behind her eyes. “That’s too bad, Harry thinks you’re cute.”

Now your face was flaming, in all the time you’d been at Hogwarts you thought yourself to be somewhat invisible. You shared your year with other Gryffindors like Harry, Hermione or Neville, or even Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, who people were aware of for one reason or another, you didn’t think yourself remarkable enough to be noticed. 

Then you’d felt it, a feeling now etched into your memory from the last week, a light warming sensation around your throat. You could feel your body stiffen, your mind already urging you to start running. 

Black Lake.

You praised the founders silently in your head, if you ran you could get to the Black Lake in four minutes.

“Luna, I’m sorry, I have to go. I-I just remembered I needed to do something.” You rushed out.

Luna’s face turned to worry, with a hint of guilt. “Have I made you uncomfortable?”

“No! Of course not! I just have to go, I’ll see you at dinner though, I promise. Let me know if you find the Nargles!”

Luna nodded at you, casting you one of her knowing smiles and turned back to the rocks, looking under each stone in hopes of finding the mythical creature. 

As soon as you were out of Luna’s eye line, safely behind the cover of various bushes and looming trees you burst into a sprint. The necklace was not burning yet, but slowly becoming uncomfortably hot. You pushed yourself even harder, jumping over sticks and plants, eager to dull the fevered feeling around your neck. 

Breaking past the forests’ tree line you quickly scanned for Mattheo, immediately spotting him lazing against a tree near the lake with the rest of the Slytherin boys. 

Your lungs were burning and your legs trembled, still weak and sore from all the running you’ve done during the week. Still, the choker was now causing a searing pain against your skin, you needed to get over there now. 

Mattheo noticed you hurriedly coming towards him, a cruel smirk spreading on his face as he leaned against the trunk. The rest of the gang stopped to notice your approach as well, their eyes of spectacle filling your stomach with embarrassment. 

As you’d slowed your run you’d tripped on a tree root sticking out of the ground, sending you tumbling down at Mattheo’s feet. All five boys bursting into laughter watching your clumsiness, causing more embarrassment to flood you. 

“Wow mate, you’d already got her falling at your feet!” Enzo cackled.

Mattheo’s face was all too pleased, his friends feeding his hubris with their laughter. 

“I know, and it only took a week. My pet is so obedient.” 

You were on your knees, still trying to catch your breath from running. Angrily glaring at Mattheo, trying to hold back your temper at the demeaning compliment.

“You called for me,” you huffed, “Sir.”

Though you’d begrudgingly used the title all week, it had not worn out its novelty to the boys or Mattheo. More laughter ensued and Mattheo’s self-satisfied smile widened, his puffed up ego practically suffocating you. 

“Yes my dear,” He drawled sarcastically, “I’d like to rest my head on something soft. I think those thighs of yours will suit nicely.” By the look of his face this was meant to be a trap, obviously he was bored and had nothing better to do than torture the poor Gryffindor he’d blackmailed into being his servant.

Internally, you’d wanted to cry in frustration, he’d made you run all the way out here to be a fucking pillow for his stupid head. You’d wanted to argue, to tell him to go fuck himself, tell him that if he wanted a pillow so damn bad he could go to his fucking bedroom, which was ridiculously close because he lived at the bottom of the castle like the evil reptile he was. Alas, such a display might attract the wrong kind of attention, so you sighed and shrugged off your chunky sweater.

Not willing to sit on the bare ground, you’d folded your cardigan, placing it on an empty spot closest to Mattheo before sliding over and sitting down. You tucked your skirt between your legs, not willing to let Mattheo get a peek up your skirt if he turned his head, and then stretched your legs out. Mattheo laid his head on your thighs, satisfied smile not leaving his face. 

“Did you come from the Forbidden Forest?” Theo broke the silence. 

You’d looked at him suspiciously, not expecting to be talked to by the boys who considered you Mattheo’s plaything. “Yes.” 

“What were you doing there?” Blaise asked, eyes displaying mild interest.

“Luna and I look for magical creatures together, every weekend.” You’d answered curtly, not wanting to give much more information. Even though Hagrid knew of you and Luna’s exploring and encouraged you both to be safe, it was still technically off limits to students.

“Seriously? Like what?” Enzo joined in, the three boys looking expectantly at you, curiosity on their faces, unlike Draco who sneered from above on a tree branch, preferring to read his book and ignore your presence. Mattheo, whose head was in your lap, had his eyes closed, uncaring. 

He looks like an angel like this.

As quickly as it came you shook that thought out of your head.

“Not much today since someone interrupted me,” Mattheo’s lips twitched into a smirk at the subtle dig, “But we’ve seen all kinds of creatures in there. Nifflers, Bowtruckles, Doxies, Dugbogs, a Porlock a couple times, we’ve seen Augurey nests but never the Augurey, a couple of Thestrals here and there and a Unicorn two times.” You chattered off a list, each mention inviting a core memory to the front of your mind. 

While talking you realized you were absentmindedly combing your fingers through Mattheo’s hair, but he made no move to correct the behavior. You allowed yourself to keep going, rationalizing that if you’d stopped Mattheo would join in the conversation to annoy you. After all, a relaxed Mattheo was more beneficial to you.

The three formerly curious boys stared at you, a mix of caution and fascination on their faces.

“You can see Thestrals?” Blaise hesitated. 

Fuck. 

You tried not to tense, not wanting to show any vulnerability in front of the boys. You should have held back, too lost in your interest of magical creatures to remember what revealing that information meant. You could feel Mattheo’s eyes on you, the impenetrable stare sending a cold sweat down your spine, you willed yourself not to look at him.

“Um… yeah. But it’s not like, bad or sad or anything. It’s… just what it is.” You choked out. You could feel your face flushing from embarrassment, you did not want to talk about this at all. 

“I’ve seen ‘em in books. They look fucking terrifying!” Enzo joked, grateful for the change in tone you smiled lightly at him. 

“Honestly, I’ll take them any day over an Acromantula. There’s a whole huge nest in there.” You joked back. This seemed to break the mood into something more lighthearted, Blaise’s eyes popping wide. 

“An Acromantula nest? As in there is more than one of those in there?” 

You laughed at his astonishment, “Yes! Luna showed me! Harry showed it to her after he’d been in there!” 

“It’s not enough for you to be hanging around with Loony Lovegood, you hang around Potter too?” Draco snarled, his full attention now on you. 

Your fingers had slightly tightened in Mattheo’s hair when Blaise had asked if you could see Thestrals, your body automatically tensing from the uncomfortable query. But now you were clenching his hair so tight he let out a low groan, the sound zapping nerves in your gut. You mumbled a soft ’sorry’ before turning your furious attention completely on Draco. 

“I don’t hang around Harry, he’s friends with Luna, not that it’s any of your business Draco,” You seethed. You could feel the lion inside of you foaming at the mouth, encouraging you to hex Malfoy in protection of your best friend. You tried to swallow your wrath, assuming Mattheo wouldn’t take too kindly to any action against one of his friends. 

“Well, hardly surprising that Loony is friends with a blood traitor and a mudblood.” Your entire body felt like it was dipped in lava, your head ignited with the urge to rip the blonde apart with your bear hands. Mattheo’s mocking and bestowing you with a fucking torturous collar felt small in compassion to how you were feeling now, the seething heat of venom in your mouth threatening rupture.

“Come down here and say that Malfoy.”

Draco dropped down from the tree, squatting in front of you to get on your level, “I said, you’re a mudblood and your friend is a-“ Without any hesitation you brought your head back and, with as much force as you could muster, slammed your forehead into Draco’s nose. A sickening crunch was heard, followed by spewing blood from Draco’s nose as he fell backward. 

“Did you just head butt me?!” Draco cried, hand going up to his face in an effort to stop the blood. 

“Fuck yeah I did. Say what you want about me, I don’t give a shit, I’ve heard worse. But you won’t talk about my best friend that way.” You snarled. The instant pain and headache that rocked you after was well worth it, watching streams of blood gush from the young Malfoy’s nose.

“Mattheo, do something about your little pet!” Draco demanded, his voice nasal from holding his broken, bleeding nose.

“Oh, I will. But she’s mine to mess with Draco, let this be the first and last lesson not to do it again.” Mattheo shrugged. 

“Come on man, let’s get you to Madam Pomfrey” Blaise sighed, pulling a frustrated, sputtering Draco away from the group. Blaise respectfully nodded at you, before walking away with a whining Draco. 

You sighed, looking down at Mattheo, “Okay, how much trouble am I in for that?” You’d hoped to get it over with as soon as possible. 

“Oh, a lot. You can’t just go around head butting my friends, Kitten.” Mattheo laughed. 

Your eyes rolled at him and your shoulders slumped a bit but you didn’t seem too down. “Worth it.”

“Okay, her, I like.” Theo announced, his voice a pleasing mixture of shock and amusement over what he’d just witnessed. You took this as high praise from the Italian Slytherin, he was typically known to disregard mostly everyone.

“I’ll say! That was a sight to see.” Enzo joked, “I can’t believe you head butted him. I bet you he’s in the infirmary right now doing the ‘my father will hear about this!’ thing.” Enzo, Theo and Mattheo laughed, completely agreeing that Draco would very well be bitching about this right now. 

When Theo and Enzo turned to their own conversation, you looked at Mattheo, whose eyes were already on you.

“So…” you whispered, “What’s the punishment?” 

“Oh Kitten,” Mattheo huffed, a wicked promise in his voice, “Just you wait and see.”

[anonomano]

Connection ~ Carlos Sainz

Part one

Mafia!Carlos Sainz x Fem,Arranged!Reader

prologue part two

Synopsis: How will we get Carlos to agree to a marriage he doesn’t want?

Warnings: smut 18+ eventually, violence, toxic!carlos

Carlos was sitting at the breakfast table; notably not at the head spot, where his father use to sit. He was reading paperwork and eating an omelette prepared by his chefs, when his mother walked in.

“I found her!” she stated as she sat across from him. She was no longer wearing her mourning clothing. She was dressed in a mauve dress, amethysts decorated her ears and neck. Purple had always been her color. Her hair was up in a french twist, her signature style. She was back to herself again.

“Found who?” Carlos asked, not looking up from his work again. He had been very busy ever since he took over the business.

“Your wife”

The words stopped Carlos in his tracks. He slowly looked up at his mother. He hadn’t expected it so quickly, or for her to make the decision of who it would be. “What? No, if I must get married, I should be able to at least choose who I will get married to”

“Carlos” she sighed “sweetheart, your taste in women has never been exactly, shall I say, stellar” She grabbed his hand, the absence of her wedding ring becoming apparent “Besides, this girl is a family friend. Shes very sweet and very pretty. Her father is f/n l/n”

“y/n?” Carlos was shocked; he remembered the girl from gatherings early in life. It had been a long time, her father stopped bringing her to such events when she was four years old. Him and y/n used to be close friends. They had played together and even got fake married once. Ironic.

“Yes, I saw her a few years ago at her 16th birthday party. Shes a very nice girl. Perfect for the family. Plus consider it a gesture to her father. Him and Carlos always got along. You haven’t spoken to him since the funeral”

“Mother I respect you I do” she sat back “But, I will not marry this girl” I stood up “ I hardly even know her! If I must marry someone… I and I alone will choose who it will be”

“Its too late Carlos” She stands straightening her dress “I have already discussed this with her father. This marriage will be happening.”

“This is ridiculous! You aren’t in charge of me anymore!” Carlos leaps away from his chair wildly gesticulating at his mother “My father is dead… I am in charge you can’t undermine my authority like that!” he puts his hand to the bridge of his nose “Mother what exactly did you tell her father?”

——————————————————————————

“When I was discussing it with Reyes we had couple key things we talked about…” your father stated. You were now in a crowded room with your father at the head of the table; you were seated to his left. “First, you will get married before the end of the year, most likely in December”

“So soon?!” you say, shocked. Everything was happening so fast, it was already August.

“Yes, Darling, soon. Aswell as on the subject of children—“ his voice faded out you started to think about all of the choices being taken from you. This stranger you never met would choose where you live, how many children you have, and how you live your life. Everything would be so different.

“— this whole thing is good for the family; it keeps us involved, which is good. Carlos Jr. and myself never got along as well as his father and I” your father finished out as you regained your awareness of the situation.

“So I have to go live with him? and have his babies?” You question “How are babies even made?” an awkward silence sweeps over the room at the question. You look to your father while he looks away. Then to your brothers who are sharing glances with each other. You look at your mother last, shes looking right at you, pity on her face.

“Y/n, darling, that is something for the two of us to discuss at a later date” you slump into your seat, frustrated at the lack of information.

“Anyway, I will set up a dinner soon for the two of you to meet. Your mother and I, along with Reyes will also be attending” this cause some outrage from yoir brothers; they had always been protective of you and didn’t understand why they couldn’t go.

——————————————————————————

The dinner was not what you expected, neither was Carlos. He was seated at the head of the table, you had to admit he was very handsome; he was dressed in nice clothing, obviously very expensive and tailored to his body. You were seated on the opposite end. Your parents between you.

Despite the silence that plagued the dinner while you were eating, your parents decided to bring a conversation between the three of them to the study. Leaving you and Carlos alone.

“So, what are your hobbies?” You ask, trying to get to know the man that you will soon share your life with.

“I don’t have any, to busy”

“Alright, well, do you like kids?” you try

he sighs “look you don’t have to… we arent gonna…” he pauses briefly standing up “we aren’t getting married”

“What?”

“My mother set this whole thing up… I’m sorry you seem like a nice girl. But, I don’t even know you. I’m sure you don’t want to marry me.”

“Its just business”

He laughs a little “I don’t understand—“

“Thats what my dad said, its just business. We’ll get married, have kids, share responsibilities.”

“Darling, do you even understand what those responsibilities are?”

“Don’t!” You stand up quickly realizing what you did and then sit down “Please, don’t call me that.” you take a deep breath “I may not know everything but I am willing to learn my responsibilities I take that seriously”

“Do you want to marry me?”

“I…need too.”

He looks you, he seems to be contemplating something. “Alright then.”

——————————————————————————

You were sitting in your dinning room waiting for dinner when your parents arrived.

“Darling, I don’t know what you did but I am proud of you!” your father exclaimed as he was seated “He’s going to marry you”

“Really?” You were surprised “He said he didn’t—“

“Well, he changed his mind” your mother interrupted

“He really changed his mind, the wedding has been moves up!”

“Moved up? to when?”

“October, you are getting married in October!”

@formulas-bitch

[emchante]

Just thinking about divorced dad! Daniel around the holidays. Like maybe he has the kids for the holidays, and you all go to see his family for the holidays. You're ofc really nervous bc it's your first time seeing them, and it's been less than a year since he officially ended things with her. But ofc Danny makes you feel so special and safe, and his family absolutely adored you (they've heard him talking about you) and the kids can't stop gushing to granny and gramps about you, and it's just super fluffy and cute

-🐍

🐍 NONNIE!! feeling SO bad for neglecting my favourite little guy as of late 🥹🥹 hope you guys can forgive me :(

christmas divorced dad! daniel below<3

going to see daniel’s family for the first time is so nerve wracking for you. it’s a scary thing for anyone but.. you felt more scared than usual. maybe it was to do with his ex, or maybe it was to do with your overthinking. whatever it was— it had your heart pounding.

but daniel? oh he catches on, super fast. he sees you’re fidgeting, a little quieter than usual as you’re packing. he comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulls you into him. “what’s on your mind, sweetheart?” he whispers, kissing the top of your head.

he watches as your eyes widen in the mirror, and he laughs. “you think i don’t know you well? silly you. talk to me,” he mumbles, continuing to place more kisses over your hair which has you giggling.

“i’m being silly,” you mumble, but you see his intense gaze in the mirror, showing he doesn’t want your beating around the bush bullshit. you sigh, closing your eyes before continuing, “it’s just.. i’m really nervous to meet your family. and it’s not normal nerves, its like.. bad anxiety. the type i get around her,” you mumble, not daring to utter the name of his ex.

daniel hums, resting on the top of your hair. “i can assure you with all my heart, they’ll love you. i think i might’ve spoken about you that much that they’ve been asking for you..” he whispers, causing your eyes to widen as you giggle, easing into conversation.

and when it gets to the night you meet them, you feel so silly for being anxious about it. his family welcome you with open arms, giving you the biggest hugs— you assume it’s in the ricciardo genes to be such good huggers. grace is holding your face, smiling as she tells you she’s got to feed you as much as she’s going to feed daniel, “it’s the holidays, that’s my job!” joe is holding you in a shoulder-hug, telling you he’s got so many stories of daniel to tell you about, and michelle chips in and says she’ll contribute some too.

the kids are playing with michelle’s, and it’s such a lovely sight. isaac and isabella are asking you so many questions, hugging you and sitting with you as you talk to them. you feel so overwhelmed— positively, of course— that you’re so loved by his family who’ve just met you. they assure you they’ve met you already through daniel’s rambles about you, and it makes you giggle.

you all spend the night by the fire, talking about you and daniel, discussing about old daniel stories, playing games— it’s perfect. you couldn’t believe you were so scared to meet such lovely, welcoming people.

[weirdsociology]

I am genuinely not trying to sound like a dick here and I'm not mad I promise

but uh Dorothy Dunnett is not a romance writer although i certainly see why you would think she is based on the way we talk about her 😂😂

but more importantly! casual use of Harlequin as a thing not to be like is exactly the kind of bias I'm talking about! which, understandable, bc everybody does it, but also just, kind of wrong!

all that variety i pointed out before? that's the stuff harlequin (and imprints like it) publishes. there are many many fair critiques of their business model. the fact that romance is the single largest category of books sold, for instance, means that publishers like harlequin put time pressure on authors that is in my opinion a labor rights issue. and they prioritize white straight romance over diversity as most large publishers do. also they focus on category romances which are a specific thing with their own genre rules. but those are not "harlequin is trash" critiques, they're "harlequin as a capitalist endeavor" critiques.

the reasons people think of harlequin and romance novels more generally as a punching bag for poor taste are many, but there's a couple things that stand out:

- romance's primary writers and consumers have always been women, particularly teenaged girls and middle aged women, and since the inception of the modern novel there have been concerns about the deleterious moral and intellectual effects of "frivolous" (e.g. entertaining and interesting to women) fiction

- as the most popular genre of book produced by a large margin, there are unique market forces pushing romance towards publishing new work as fast as possible, which can lead to lower-quality or less polished product. also there's just more of it, which means more bad books and more good books.

- romance is the genre that probably responds the most to cultural norms, partially bc of the pace of publishing and partially bc of its character-driven focus. it's in constant dialogue with how we think about gender and sex and class in particular, and can both reinforce and deconstruct social dynamics in the kinds of stories it chooses to tell. but unlike say, scifi, which gets the treatment where we look back on 1970s scifi and want to know why it is the way it is, warts and all, we just dismiss romance as bodice-ripping and don't ask ourselves why it was written that way and what readers were getting out of it. (for instance, i could go on ALLLLL day about why it was so common for male main characters to sexually assault female main characters in 1950s romance and how that intersects with the kinds of social scripting and power dynamics women were dealing with in their own relationships with men, but i won't.)

- our culture thinks anything with a happy ending has lesser value for some reason

anyway the history and sociology of romance as a genre is fascinating and there are multiple books written about it. if romance is a thing you want to explore more, i highly recommend the lovely podcast fated mates which does not shy away from talking about the more batshit stuff (sentient object romance!) but also takes seriously romance's importance as a genre.

i will now dismount this hill i promise

Saw these tags, directed at me, on my post about how the romance genre is almost always a bunch of drama and with no actual relationships until “the final moments” or sometimes never at all:

The ace/aro hate on this website is still thriving, y’all.

Anyway, time to go show this to my boyfriend of many years to let him know that Generic Tumblr User #8762901 says we’re not in a relationship anymore because aro people aren’t allowed to date…😔

[gayeilgeoir]

I’m not going to lie and say The Man by Taylor Swift is exactly the pinnacle of feminism, but it is a really interesting perspective to touch on.

In the song, Taylor talks not of what she would do as a man, but what the actions she does as a woman would be viewed as if they were preformed by a man.

“I would be complex, I would be cool”

Taylor is often portrayed by misogynists as a ditsy blonde obsessed with men, because she writes about being in love, and talks about her feelings being as important as her boyfriends.

“They’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to, and that would be okay for me to do, every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you”

Taylor talks about past criticism for simply just engaging in relationships with men. She is criticised for being in too many relationships despite her currently relationship at the time of writing having went on for 3 years and lasting another 3. She talks about “conquests” a really interesting word for her to use. She never talks of the men she dates as if they’re “prizes” she talks of them in a way that humanises them. Here she parodies societal views on heterosexual relationships. She is being seen as a man who has won a woman, while the woman is degraded by being with the man, she looses worth

“I’m so sick of running as fast as I can….because if I was a man, than I’d be the man”

Taylor talks of putting in far more effort then men beside her to get to the same places. Her success is already insane, but she would be far more famous as a man. She talks of how her achievements are undermined, or miscredited. She is expected to be in debt to a man.

“What I was wearing, if I was rude, could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves?”

Now, the ? at the end of this changes the meaning entirely. Otherwise, it would be a doubtless definite, she wouldn’t be judged for her actions (or the actions of others, if what I was wearing refers to her previous sexual assault case in the rep era) but this suggests Taylor almost doesn’t believe this a possibility. She is shocked at the idea of being allowed to be “rude” (which for famous women is just standing up for yourself) and being humanised and your actions being respected. She is shocked at the privilege of men

“I’d be just like Leo”

Leonardo Di Caprio, is a man who dates a boatload of under 25 women and treats them horrifically. At this time, Taylor being 30 years old and having 9 previous boyfriends, all over age, and receiving so much criticism. Taylor talks of how dating for a woman is seen as a necessity, but you will always be judged for it. She compares her life to Di Caprio, not in a hateful way, but saying she is being judged for something so idiotic.

“And it’s all good if you’re bad, and it’s okay if you’re mad”

Taylor talks of not being allowed to properly feel emotion. Referring back to her quote “a man is allowed to react, a woman can only overreact” she talks of how, likely in the Reputation Era, every little thing she did was a reason for people to hate her. Everything was blown up tenfold. She was hated for things she would be praised for as a man.

“So it’s okay that im mad”

Taylor has maintained a highly apologetic tone throughout the song, but at the end, she chooses to be more direct. She has avoided confrontation to then say, I am allowed to be this way, and it is not for you to judge. She stops stepping around the fact and fully head on addresses it.

[amazinglystay]

Under the Moonlight✨

Felix Lee x fem!Reader

·:¨⛦𓆩♡𓆪⛦¨:·

Summary:

Under the peaceful night sky, Felix and Y/N bond over quiet conversations, with Felix finding a rare sense of calm as they talk about the simple joys in life.

T/W: Fluff🌸 (and stress? Idk tbh.)

-Not Proof Read-

It was late when Felix found himself wandering outside the dorm, the quiet hum of the city mingling with the cool breeze. The night sky stretched out in front of him, stars twinkling faintly as he took a deep breath. He’d been feeling off all day too much noise, too many people, and not enough time to breathe. But out here, in the stillness, everything seemed to slow down.

As he rounded a corner, he saw her.

Y/N was sitting on a bench, her face turned toward the sky, lost in the rhythm of the night. Her hair swayed gently with the breeze, and Felix couldn’t help but stare for a moment. There was something calming about her presence, as though she belonged to the quiet, just like the stars.

He took a step forward, not wanting to startle her, but his shoes made a soft squeak against the pavement. She looked up immediately, her expression shifting into a soft smile when she recognized him.

"Felix," she greeted, her voice like a melody. "You’re out late."

He shrugged, stepping closer, hands in his pockets. "Couldn’t sleep. Just needed some air."

Y/N nodded, and for a second, they both just stood there, the comfortable silence wrapping around them like a blanket. The moonlight made her eyes shine, and Felix found himself caught in their depth. He’d never been one to talk much about his feelings, especially not to fans, but there was something about Y/N that made him feel safe enough to let his guard down.

"You’re usually so busy," Y/N said, breaking the quiet. "How do you deal with all the pressure?"

Felix paused. It wasn’t often that anyone asked him that. Most people just assumed he had it all together. He chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I don’t know if I deal with it. I just… keep going. Music helps. And my members." He looked at her, his expression softening. "And sometimes, just a moment like this."

Y/N smiled, that knowing look in her eyes. She understood. Sometimes, it wasn’t about the big answers or grand gestures it was about finding peace in the little things.

"You always seem so confident on stage," she said quietly. "But you’re different when it’s just us."

Felix blinked at her, his heart skipping a beat. "What do you mean?"

She shifted on the bench, her gaze turning back to the sky. "It’s like… when you’re up there, you’re this unstoppable force. But here, now, you’re just… Felix. Just a person who needs a break too."

Felix felt his cheeks warm. He hadn’t expected such an honest observation. But it felt nice, hearing that from someone who wasn’t looking at him through the lens of fame.

"Yeah," he murmured, stepping closer to sit beside her. "I think everyone needs a break."

For a moment, they sat in comfortable silence, the only sound being the distant hum of the city and the rustling of leaves. Felix felt a rare sense of calm settle in his chest. It wasn’t often that he got to experience moments like this just being himself, not the idol, not the performer.

"Do you ever think about what you want to do after all this?" Y/N asked after a while.

Felix glanced at her, considering the question. It was something he’d thought about before, but never really had an answer for. The future felt like a blurry horizon that kept moving further away no matter how fast he ran toward it.

"I don’t know," he admitted. "But I know I want to keep doing what I love. Whether it's performing, making music, or something else… I think I just want to stay true to myself."

Y/N smiled at him, her eyes softening. "That’s all anyone can do."

Felix looked at her, feeling a warm, almost overwhelming sense of gratitude for this simple moment. "Thanks, Y/N," he said quietly. "You always know what to say."

She shrugged, a playful smile tugging at her lips. "I guess I just listen."

Felix laughed softly, and for the first time in a while, he didn’t feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. Just the quiet, the moonlight, and the comforting presence of someone who saw him for who he was, not just who he appeared to be.

"Yeah, well, maybe I should listen more often," he said, nudging her playfully.

They stayed there for a while longer, two people under the vast sky, letting the night wrap them in its quiet embrace. Felix wasn’t sure what the future held, but in that moment, he knew he was exactly where he was supposed to 

·:¨⛦𓆩♡𓆪⛦¨:·

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! In my opinion it’s not the best and could be better 🤷‍♀️. Anyway make sure to eat sleep drink byeeeeeee ✨

More like this? Click here

[nururu]

"I hate Trisha paytas" okay kys

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

Weisshaupt mission definitively proving that da is at its sexiest when it's wardens and yet here I am feeling an unbearable amount of salt because we walk through a FUCKING WARDEN LIBRARY and they could've put in a fucking NOTE about the HERO OF FUCKING FERELDEN IN THERE. SO GLAD THE FUCKING JOINING CHALICE WAS RECOVERED FROM FUCKING OSTAGAR THOUGH.

[kr-cube]

read a post that said chappell roan's music was boring as fuck and thought they were just being annoying on purpose. Sad to learn this person was right

[the-physicality]

i do think, aside from mercury bias, if bg had been in all season she would have been all wnba, first or at least second. i think people undervalue her because of the rebounding but she is 1000% the worst officiated player in the league, on both sides of the court. so the fact that she's been able to have the performance that she had is incredible, and that she didn't get the acknowledgment really just underscores how much people take what she does for granted.

[coulsonlives]

I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.

[crossbackpoke-check]

about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)

for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge

[silverselfshippingchaos]

goodness I love him so much