#she started apologizing for getting with him like??? anyways i should stop rotting in bed

[nyxypoo]

mkay so

THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME FUCKING UGH THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IF I WASNT FUCKING STUPID URGGHHHHH

[rassvetsky]

Bittersweet

bucky barnes x fem!reader

"When it's just you, Bucky & Alpine in the Barnes residence; time seems to stop, only allowing for heartfelt confessions and kisses to be exchanged."

[2k] | teeth rotting fluff, domestic couple, alpine being the princess she is, emotional conversations & kisses. somewhere in between comics!bucky & mcu!bucky but only conceptually, no spoilers. might do more parts on this little universe because it's so cute

reblog and/or like for a kiss, feedback much appreciated! not proofread.

When it's just you, Bucky & Alpine in the Barnes residence; time seems to stop.

The car horns blaring through the city drown out in the warmth your shared bed carries; your body tucked close to Bucky's as he hugged you from behind, watching the way Alpine's soft purrs got quieter and quieter until she eventually fell asleep, whiskers pushed back with each stroke of the back of your fingers against her fluffy cheek.

The early morning sun fell on both his arm and the cat's white fur, as the metal fingers moved forward a bit on top of your waist to brush through her soft coat over your palm, before finally giving in to his original intent and getting a hold of your hand instead. He was half-naked behind you, barely had the energy to change out of his suit after returning from his mission because he could swear that seeing both of his favourite girls sprawled across the bed knocked the breath right out of his chest.

"I took her to the vet yesterday," you whispered, careful as to not wake Alpine up. "Did some parasitary stuff, it was time for those, apparently. I also wanted her to get the combination vaccine since she was supposed to get it a few weeks ago, but they ran out."

Bucky hummed as a response, urging you to continue.

"Picked up some treats for her too, and some toys. She met a puppy at the waiting room, they got along great except for the part where she just- slapped the living shit out of him for trying to sniff her butt."

Bucky's laugh startled the cat and you sent him a glare, causing him to whisper out an apology and return to caressing her fur. "She's just like you, it's uncanny." he chuckled, making you sigh and curl yourself closer to him. "Lovely and all but still badass."

"Why thank you, Mr. Barnes," you mumbled sleepily. "I'm merely doing my job, raising our love-child."

He chuckled again, slowly pushing himself further up to his elbow just so he could reach in and press his lips against the side of your lips. You couldn't help the way they tugged upwards with a smile. "You should go back to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you up so early."

You shook your head to both sides almost immediately after. "No, no need. I missed you anyway."

"Really? Seems like you'd rather watch Alpine sleep than give me a proper hug."

"Oh, shut up," you giggled, slowly turning on your spot to face him. He was hovering over you slightly, still leaning on his elbow to watch both of you. "I just got overwhelmed for a second when you came back. I get emotional as shit waiting for you, Buck."

His features softened at that, before he reached in to place a soft kiss on your forehead. "I'm sorry." he whispered, free arm going up to caress your cheek instead, this time. "But how am I supposed to know? You bully me through it all the time."

"It's a coping mechanism!" you whisper-yelled, rolling your eyes carefully when he started laughing. "Laugh all you want, Barnes."

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized again, gentle eyes flickering through every single centimeter of your face, almost as if he wanted to memorize all of you. "I missed you too, sweetheart. Miss you so bad wherever I go."

Your hands mimicked his when you brought them up to cup his face, feeling his stubble under your fingertips as you traced the outline of his lips with your fingers. "I love you so much that it hurts, Bucky."

"I know the feeling." his sheepish grin was replaced by a bittersweet one. "Whenever I look at you, I- I just think, how did I get so lucky? How did I end up with this… Absolutely perfect person, how did I get to hold her each night?"

"You're one lucky bastard, that's why." you chuckled to yourself, earning a heartfelt snicker from him. "I feel the same way. Whenever you walk out of that door, I worry myself to death. I swear, I walk around with a knot in my stomach for days until you return because- I genuinely have no idea what I would do without you. My heart, my mind, my soul- it's all just so full of you."

Bucky knew that he was loved. Oh boy, he was loved well, he was loved to death. He could feel his eyes dampening a little, salty tears stinging his eyes as he reached for you again, covering your face with butterfly kisses, leaving no spot unkissed. He shamelessly dropped his weight on top of you afterwards, smothering you with himself and his love, as he buried his head on your neck.

There was no way that you could ever complain.

"I taught Alpine how to sit on command, by the way."

His laugh didn't help the way a single tear escaped your eyes, but you didn't mind crying out of love. "Stop training my girl, she's an independent feline."

"She's an independent and greedy feline. Would do anything for a treat, I bet I could teach her how to do those dog-show tricks with enough food involved."

"Show me when I wake up, m'kay?" he asked, voice laced with exhaustion finally breaking through. "And- teach her how to give paw. Without claws."

"I tried. My hand still looks like it went through the garbage disposal."

Bucky woke up a few hours later than you, to an empty bed. Heavy patter of sock-clad feet resonated through the small apartment as he made his way over to the kitchen, pulling an appreciative hum out of you when he wrapped his arms around the back of your busy figure. You were already done with the dishes when he came, thankfully, knowing very well that no matter how exhausted he was, he'd take the task from you.

You leaned back on him, basking on his warmth while he watched you wash off the remaining soap from your hands, patting them on the nearest towel. "Morning, sunshine." you chuckled, slowly turning around in his hold to smile up at him. "Slept well?"

"Yeah, except for the part where you abandoned me." a playful pout was on his lips as he spoke, pulling you closer as if you'd vanish from his hold if he didn't feel you tighter against him. "It was traumatizing, you see."

"Oh quit being so dramatic," you rolled your eyes playfully before attempting to push him off of you. He didn't budge, though, instead leaning close with his lips dangerously close to yours. "I was gonna bring you some fruit."

"That can wait," he shrugged, reaching in for a temptative peck. He leaned in even closer when you didn't complain, lips brushing against yours to invite you in. You gave in embarrassingly fast, lips molding to his in a gentle kiss as you held onto the counter behind you, his warm hands cupping your cheeks to guide you through it.

Bucky has always been a gentle lover, and it specifically showed in the way he held you, no matter how desperate he was to have your lips trapped between his. He was slow- giving you chances here and there to catch your breath as his own lips traveled a bit south, leaving soft kisses at their wake as they toured your neck. You could feel his smile against you, that lazy and appreciative smile of his which you loved so much, always attempting to pull that out of him.

The breaking factor of your kiss was the way Alpine meowed to get your attention, alerting you of her feeding time with rather unpleasantly loud sounds. "Oh wow," Bucky pulled away a little with a laugh, lips wet with a mixture of both your salivas- he didn't care much. "Seriously, baby girl? Couldn't see that we're busy over here?"

"She's traumatized enough," you reached in for one last kiss, the short peck clearly not enough for Bucky as he tried to follow your lips. You pushed him away with a playful laugh before walking towards Alpine's food bowl, her slim white figure swaying happily by your side. "Sorry, baby. Blame your daddy, not me." you hummed, pulling out her bag of food and ignoring the way Bucky teased you right back, focusing on filling her bowl instead.

You pushed yourself up to your feet with a grunt when Alpine got occupied with her food, noticing the way Bucky seemed to melt into the comfort of the couch. "You're still all stiff, aren't you?" you cooed, earning a slight nod from him. "I'll run us a bath."

Warm water did wonders to muscles, sore from your office job, and in Bucky's case, from days worth of constant anxiety upon willingly facing risks. Your chest against his back, the two of you eased in the silence, as you trailed kisses through both of his arms. He reached his metal arm out when you held onto it, admiring the way your soft flesh contrasted with the dark vibranium before intertwining your fingers.

"I don't remember a lot about my mom," he whispered softly, a sigh following right after. "It's mostly just my father. He passed away when I was in my early twenties, a few years before I was deployed." you gave his flesh hand a slight squeeze, knowing that he didn't like to talk about the past that much.

"Yet, sometimes I find myself wishing that you could've met him. He wasn't- well, he was a bit strict at times but he always told me to never let go of a woman who loves me, and to hold her to death if that's where it all goes." he chuckled, as you smiled a bit, watching the water moving along with him. "He'd scold me for not taking these things seriously but now I know what he meant. I hope he got to feel the same way that I do now, when he was with my mother."

"He'd be incredibly proud of you, Bucky." you held his arm closer against your chest, rubbing it soothingly. "For the man you've become. A good man."

"I like to imagine that." yet another sigh escaped him. "After I got back to my senses, out of HYDRA, I felt so… Lost. No family or friends, not even an acquaintance except for Steve and- you know, he had his own stuff to do. Captain America and his responsibilities, all that. I wanted to hold onto him so tight but at the same time, I felt guilty that I'd be holding a hero back. It didn't feel safe, comfortable or even just decent with anyone else- until, well, fate brought you to me."

You closed your eyes, heart feeling warmer than ever at his confessions.

"Steve realized that I fell for you long before I did. I knew that- I could see it in him, obviously, he's been my best friend for over eighty years- and I felt like the way he trusted you with me, it could only mean that I could be able to do the same. Know that I'm free of judgment when I'm by your side." he pulled you closer for a moment, just to lay a gentle kiss on your damp hair. "I felt like a dead man for all those years, until you held my hand for the first time. I felt like I was electroshocked or something." you laughed at that, patting his arm.

"You make me feel so alive, too, did you know that?" you spoke up, tracing his fingers with the tips of yours. "You make me feel human. Completely, utterly. Because with every flaw that I have, I know that I also have you to love them. To make me accept them."

"We're not meant to be flawless," he added on to your point. "But sweetheart, you're perfect with your flaws. And you make me feel perfect with mine."

Although the water wasn't as warm as before, you still basked in his embrace comfortably,

[mercy-burning]

Nightfall

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After a near-death experience on the job and dark nightmares that follow, Reader and Spencer find comfort in each other. Category: ANGST / FLUFF (hurt/comfort?) / ***OPTIONAL SMUT ENDING (18+)*** Warnings: A nightmare sequence that includes brief mentions of a chainsaw, dismemberment, and blood/gore, heavy crying, basically it’s just very sad and dark, but comforting and soft at the end | SMUT includes: handjob, cum eating, shower sex, oral sex (female receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex Word Count: 1.6k | 3.3k

Full Request: “Could you do a spencer fic where the reader wakes up from a night terror due to nearly dying on a recent case, and leaves the bed and Spencer panics because he can’t find them in the bedroom, and it becomes a mutual comfort fic where Spencer’s trying to calm both him and the reader down with just lots of angst and fluff?...” — @willowrose99

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: Y’all, I can’t believe this is the final 1k request!! I’ve had so much fun writing these, so thank you for sending them in, reading, reblogging them, and for celebrating this milestone with me!!

This one’s a little... dark. And extremely sad. I actually, like, sobbed writing this, so I apologize in advance. It also gets a little horror movie-esque during the nightmare sequence, so I apologize if that’s not your thing (I’ve been watching a shit-ton of horror movies lately and I love it lol) ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy this final request! Thank you again for celebrating with me, it means the world ❤

***

It started with flashes of light, faintly resembling fireworks as they shot through the nightfall, albeit silently. They were constant, red and blue and— They were police lights... But he should have heard sirens to accompany them, right? Why weren't there sirens? If he tried hard enough, though, through the loud thumping in his ears, he could faintly make out a high pitched whine. Or... was it a cry?

Crying.

No—sobbing.

Screaming.

It was at this point that Y/N had awaken, screaming almost at the top of her lungs as she startled forward in bed. Though it took a few painstakingly long seconds to realize where she was and that she was safe, at home with Spencer and bathed in the deep sound of silence, she still felt the hum of the chainsaw and it's loud groaning as it descended closer and closer above her neck. It was loud, haunting, and even as she furiously rubbed at her eyes, the images and sounds wouldn't go away.

She stumbled from the bed and trembled the entire way to the bathroom, so enraptured in terror that she was entirely unaware that Spencer had only merely jumped in his sleep at the sound of her screaming.

Meanwhile his dream continued, that high crying sound fading into some sort of tune that resembled a music box... As he made his way through the flashing lights, they also seemed to dissipate, eventually leading him to one single streetlight in the middle of a field. But underneath it stood a large pile of dirt, something glistening on top of it as it... spun?

He approached the dirt, only to notice it was, in fact, a music box that he was hearing. Each note grew louder and louder as he crouched down to get a closer look, and without warning it started to smell like... rotting flesh. It was unmistakable. But... why? There weren't any bodies around, only the music box rotating on a pile of...

It was a grave.

And right as he finally recognized the tune coming from the music box, which served as some type of headstone, Spencer was pushed back, the dirt rumbling until something shot up from the grave, sending the music box shattering in front of him into pieces.

It couldn't be... I saved her, she's not... It can't be her...

The tune was her favorite song. And as the music box sat broken in front of him, he realized it was also a gift to her from her late mother.

But it couldn't have been her...

The streetlight flickered heavily as whatever shot up out of the grave started to come into better view. Arms outstretched, until the left one gave off a glow that pulsed at its ring finger— A glittering diamond ring that he'd picked out years ago and had sat on her hand ever since.

But it couldn't have been her...

The arm fell clean off the figure with a loud thud, and then it dissolved into a pool of crimson, the glittering ring laying right in the middle, untouched and untainted by the gore. The rest of the figure trembled heavily until he heard the tune again— Only now, it was her voice. It lowly hummed the melody as a head came into view, slowly revealing her face.

But... It couldn't have been her...

Spencer trembled as her voice continued to hum, each note becoming more warped and drowned out until suddenly, the streetlight stopped flickering and remained blinding.

There was no mistake anymore.

Under the harsh white light, Y/N's tattered, dirty and bloody body was sitting up in a pile of dirt like it might have once been sand at a beach. Her left arm was a pool of boiling blood next to her, and the ring still laid there, as sparkly and ethereal as ever—the only good thing that remained.

"Why didn't you save me?" she drawled, her voice deep and warped. The terror grew and grew in the pit of his stomach as he watched her head, a thin, red line at her neck getting larger and larger as it tilted... Farther and farther to the left, until finally, she laughed, and it snapped clean off her body and into the pool of blood that once was her left arm.

All he could do was shake violently, his mouth open in a silent scream as the wind nearly knocked him out.

When Spencer woke up, he couldn't breathe.

His eyes shot open and his hand clutched at his chest as he tried to catch his breath. And even as he blinked rapidly, gradually realizing it was all a dream and that he was at home, his breath slowly coming back to him, the shaking he was experiencing was still very real.

The first thing he did was reach for her hand, her body, anything to let him know that she was with him.

And all he found underneath his fingers was a cold sheet.

"Y/N?" he whimpered out, turning frantically to see if he could spot her. His heart beat frantically in his chest to the point where it's all he could hear, panic starting to settle in his bones even as he scrambled out of bed and went searching for her.

On shaky legs, Spencer travelled throughout the house, a purchase they'd made only a year ago. It still hadn't entirely felt like home, but after being married for four years whilst traveling everywhere for work, they'd come to terms with that fact that home was wherever they were together. But right now the Reid house felt more foreign than usual, because things were bad, and Spencer couldn't find his wife anywhere. His home was with her, and without her, without home, he was empty.

When he stumbled into the bathroom, swinging the door open and turning on the light with fumbling, shaky hands, he heard a yelp coming from the direction of the bathtub. And when his eyes landed on his wife, huddled in an empty tub and visibly shaking just as badly as he was, his world corrected just a little bit.

"Baby?" he whispered, silently asking if it was alright to approach her.

All she did was stare blankly at him, her body trembling as tears silently streamed down her face. Her bottom lip was wobbling, and it was then that he knew she wouldn't be able to speak.

"Y—You had a bad dream, too?" he whispered again. She nodded, still shaking, and the tiny sob that cracked through her closed lips gave him permission to move forward.

He was still anxious as he got in the tub with her, cuddling up next to her and letting her fall tirelessly into his open arms. He hugged her tightly, resting his chin on the top of her head and feeling tears of his own start to well in his eyes as her breathing labored. This time he could audibly hear her breathing, just as shaky as her body was, and even though she made no sound, it didn't take a genius to understand that she was silently sobbing.

The wetness from her tears soaked through his thin tee shirt, and with every second she hugged him tighter and tighter, her breathing getting heavier until she eventually let out one, huge screaming sob that shattered his heart in two. His own tears fell hot like streams of liquid fire down his face as they cemented into the top of her head and spread throughout her own body, expelling themselves through screeches of emotional pain and a tight grip.

It was a vicious cycle that only slowed when Spencer fell backwards, causing them to fall down and Y/N to choke out a sob-infused fit of uncontrollable laughter. It was chaotic and cathartic, a vessel of release that felt very much like home to them despite the coldness that had infiltrated their dreams and made them feel hopeless and scared.

Just being there together, holding each other as they cried, slowly washed that hopelessness away until their cries became laughs, which then dissolved into a sweet, comfortable silence that further cemented the fact that they'd only been dreams.

This? Right now? This was real.

Spencer's hand gently combing back his wife's hair as it fell in her face and threatened to stick to her mouth? That was real.

Y/N's clutch on her husband's tee shirt that was sure to leave wrinkles and tear stains, the thought of the moment when he'd inevitably joked that she 'leaked' all over him making her laugh? That was real.

It wasn't long before the two of them drifted off into near-unconsciousness, laying down uncomfortably in the porcelain tub but too afraid to move that they'd endure it for the night.

Y/N loosened her clutch on Spencer's shirt, taking to placing each of her hands on his chest instead as she nuzzled her face into his neck. Her cheeks were itchy with dried tears, and the dampness of his shirt from the same thing felt oddly comforting pressed coolly against her palms.

"I love you, Spencer," she whispered.

The gravel in her voice slightly made his heart sink, but it rose again when she pressed the most loving kisses to his neck, conveying all the love and appreciation and warmth that they could. He glanced down at her hands, the glittering ring on the left one looking rather dull compared to his nightmare. But then she twitched her hand, and under the soft blue tint of the bathroom light, it glinted in a quick flash.

He placed one of his hands over hers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before whispering back, "I love you, too."

***OPTIONAL SMUT ENDING***

Waking up in a bathtub was bound to be painful, but after such a deep, dreamless sleep, Spencer and Y/N found it somewhat comforting. It was strange waking up wrapped up in each other in a bathtub after a solid hour and a half of emotional wreckage the night before, sure, but once they realized where they were, the goofy, half-asleep smiles they adorned couldn't be of any greater comfort than a warm, soft bed.

Their wordless greetings began when Y/N ran her thumb gently across the planes of her husband's chest, letting him know she was awake. He did the same, running his thumb along the inside of her other arm. Soon after, it was her whole hand, tracing his entire torso up and down for a few cycles until she reached the hem of his shirt and slipped it underneath. She closed her eyes and sighed, kissing his neck while feeling goosebumps start to rise on his skin.

Her kisses became deeper and more sloppy when he reached out and clutched her other hand, lacing their fingers together and bringing them up to his mouth. He sighed over the back of her hand, and it didn't take very long for Y/N to feel his hips twitch against her, a familiar hardness bringing a cheeky smile to her lips.

Spencer felt it against his neck, and as his whole being went into a state of utter bliss as he wondered how one single being could have this great of an effect on him.

He was hyperaware of her wandering hand as it slipped out from under his shirt in favor of slipping into another fabric. The moment her delicate fingers grazed his dick, he groaned against her hand, giving it open-mouthed kisses that well-mirrored the ones she was currently giving his neck.

After a bit of fumbling around to get him free of his pajama pants and boxers, Y/N's hand was firmly wrapped around her husbands hard, ready cock. She swiped her thumb over the tip and spread around some of the precum there before humming into his neck and starting a quick, dry pace that allowed her to feel every dip and ridge of him. Spencer's head tilted back to give her more access to her neck, causing his forehead to softly thump against the cool porcelain of the tub.

And then she made sure to pay special attention to the underside of his tip, gently rubbing circles into it with her thumb as her tongue did the same to the weak spot on his neck. These two things together, naturally, had him tensing within a matter of seconds, his throat expelling a deep groan as his dick expelled his thick, warm release over her hand.

Y/N only groaned against his throat as he finished,=. And when he did, she brought her hand to her mouth and started to lick it clean as she sat up and straddled him.

"Good morning to you, too," Spencer sighed with a small laugh as he watched her sucking off her fingers. Though her shorts were still on, she started to rock against his thigh, using her other hand on the side of the tub as leverage. "I can help you out, you know," he offered, starting to sit up.

She had other plans, but the scratchiness in his voice—no doubt because he'd just woken up but also due to the crying last night—took those plans and threw them out the window. She'd let him do whatever he wanted, something that was a usual occurrence, but when it came to his morning voice she couldn't resist.

So she waited as he sat up, his hands immediately finding their way to her shirt, which he lifted and threw out of the tub. And then he used his thumbs to gently swipe over the peak of her breasts, leaning forward to kiss her neck ad mumble "I love you," into her skin. She sighed and grinded on his thigh again, each swipe of his thumbs over her hardened nipples giving a new jolt of pleasure with each grind. She gripped his hair softly, combing through it and twirling pieces of it around her fingers, her eyes fluttering closed and her mind going numb so as to completely live in the moment and focus on the way he touched her and loved her unconditionally.

Spencer brought one of his hands down to pull at the waistband of her shorts, and against her leg, Y/N felt him grow hard again. So she lifted her hips and let him slide her shorts and underwear down, and once she got them off her legs she tossed them out with her shirt and worked at his own clothes. Due to the small space in the bathtub, things were most certainly clumsy and impatient, but once the clothing barriers were gone for good, leaving them both completely bare, it was an easy feat to stand and get easy access to each other.

Y/N whined into his mouth as he pushed her against the shower wall, her hands exploring the planes of his hack and his ass while he reached behind her and turned the shower on. Water rained down on them, freezing at first, but it got warmer each second as they made out and let their hands roam.

Soon, though, one of Spencer's hands came down to grab Y/N's thigh, and she wrapped that leg around his waist, pulling him closer as she brought her hand down to line him up.

"You don't want me to use my mouth?" he whispered into her mouth in between kisses as she ran the head of his dick through her pussy.

"Mmm... Later," she sighed back, circling his tip over her clit a few times before deeply kissing him and using her leg to pull him closer. "Right now I need you inside me."

Who was he to deny her anything? So he slowly pushed into her, dropping his head to rest on her shoulder.

The water was arm now, mostly cascading down his back, but it rolled to the front of him, accenting every forward snap of his hips with a loud smack.  His thrusts were quick, but each time he went forward, he stayed there for a moment, not only to make sure he didn't go too fast and end up slipping, but also to gauge his wife's reactions— feeling her nails scratch lightly down his shoulders, the rumble her throat as she groaned at each slow circle of his hips as they connected with hers... His primary goal was to draw out every little noise and reaction from her until she was crying out with pleasure, honestly his favorite sound in the world.

The only thing that came close was when she begged.

"Baby, please," she whined, her hands reaching down to grab his ass. "I need more..."

Spencer groaned into her neck, granting her wish and setting a quicker pace drilling into her. She clenched her whole body around him, not only to draw out more pleasure, but to keep a good grip so they wouldn't fall. In the few times that they'd had sex in the shower prior to this, they'd always taken precautions by bending Y/N over the edge of the tub as he fucked her, though the floor usually ended up almost completely soaked with water by the end of it. Which, of course, was why they'd hardly ever done it.

But when you and your significant other wake up in the bathtub after a rough night, sometimes you just have to take advantage of the opportunity.

Everything seemed to work out, though, because it didn't take any time at all for them to get there. With one orgasm already under Spencer's belt and the constant thrumming of his dick against Y/N's g-spot, the two of them were only seconds away from losing themselves in blinding bliss.

Sure enough, his hips started to stutter, and she held his ass close to her as he stilled and came yet again. She cried out in high whines as her walls fluttered around him, and even as she came down, her grip on him remained, the sudden urge to be as close as possible to her husband outweighing any concern about overstimulation.

Even as he pulled out of her and started to kneel, Y/N kept her hands on him at all times, settling them finally in his wet hair as she sighed. "What are you doing?"

"You said later," is all he offered in response. "It's later."

And then he licked a long line along the inside of her thigh where his cum had started to drip out. The sight below her almost turned her on more than the touch itself, what with the way the water covered him and sprinkled his face as he looked up at her. Eventually though, the water in his eyes was too much, so he stuck to keeping them down as he gently ran his tongue through her pussy and cleaned her up, bringing on another impending orgasm for her in the process.

Y/N brushed his wet curls away from his face as he did it, gently tugging on them and rolling her hips slightly to get more friction. But he held them still, his way of telling her that he was going to take his time with her and that it would be worth it in the end.

And worth it it was. Anything he did would have been worth it, but Y/N couldn't deny the loud cries of intense pleasure as his tongue rapidly flicked over her clit, never slowing or picking up the pace. He kept at it, over and over and over until she was shaking above him, her grip in his hair so tight that it elicited moans of his own.

Once he could tell she was done, her grip becoming a little too tight, Spencer pulled away, pressing wet kisses along her body as he made his way back up to his feet.

"There," he said, kissing her cheek and then nuzzling into her neck once more. "And now we're even."

Y/N laughed, wrapping her arms around her husband and holding him tight as they stepped further into the water to wash up.

***

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[wheeier]

no taking back

summary: it was only fun and games. but steve had other plans.

warnings: modern au, tooth-rotting fluff i guess, little but of swearing

+ olivia rodrigo’s sour album (stream besties), the movie tangled at the end because it just radiates as a comfort movie

yes a modern au !!! i just saw this on tiktok (the sour part, but the rest was my idea!) and thought it was so cute so it gave me an idea to make it as a fic, enjoy !!!

steve harrington x fem!reader

olivia rodrigo’s new album just released and you were thrilled to listen to it and stream it the whole day.

when you finally got to listen to it, you asked your friends—robin, nancy, and the party, if they listened to it and which ones were their favorites.

robin told you that her top three were hope ur ok, jealousy, jealousy, and brutal.

nancy said she really loved favorite crime.

max said hers was also brutal.

el told you that she played good 4 u and traitor on repeat that hopper had to go into her room to turn it down.

when mike comes over to the cabin he can assure that el does indeed play them on repeat and get pissy about it (but he secretly loves the album, but he wouldn’t let her or anyone know that).

and lastly lucas and dustin are fans of deja vu and 1 step forward 3 steps back. max even told you that they would sing the bridge of deja vu on the top of their lungs.

you slightly laughed at the memory of them telling you about it.

however, there’s one more person that you haven’t talked to about it yet.

steve.

your smile faltered and faded when he came across in your mind.

your feelings for him had deepened over the time and listening to the sour album made it feel like you two had broken up, which in fact, is not true because you were never together in the first place.

suddenly, an idea popped in your head. instead of being sad about steve, you thought about texting him, although it’s almost 1AM, you knew he’d still be up.

Sailor Man

You: hey

You: u up?

Sailor Man: duh

Sailor Man: this has been our nightly routine u always bother me when i’m about to go to sleep

You: fuck off

You: don’t pretend that you’re not binge watching outer banks until 4am

Sailor Man: i’m not?!?

You: yeah right

You: anyways

You: can u do me a favor

Sailor Man: will i get free pizza afterwards

You: no

Sailor Man: k

You: what the fuck

You: fine

Sailor Man: hehe

Sailor Man: what’s the favor ;)

You: dont get me started with that winky face i swear ure so dead when i see you at the wheeler’s house tomorrow

You: have you listened to olivia rodrigo’s new album

Sailor Man: ohh the bitter album?

You: ITS SOUR DUMBASS

Sailor Man: I DONT KNOW?!?

You: I CANT DO THIS HJAGSK

Sailor Man: shut up

Sailor Man: i’ve heard some of the songs but i haven’t fully listened to them

Sailor Man: why

You: can you like

You: ask me to be ur girlfriend then break up with me right after so i can experience and actually feel the whole sour album

Sailor Man: what

You: just do it !!

Sailor Man: you’re so funny (y/n/n)

Sailor Man: okay

Sailor Man: will you be my girlfriend?

You: yes !!!

You: ...

You: hello

You: dont tell me u fell asleep

Sailor Man: i’m not doing the last part you might as well forget about it

You: wjat

Sailor Man: :D

You: wtf

You: okay steve cut it out i’m not doing this anymore u’re not funny

Sailor Man: nope

Sailor Man: go to sleep we’re dating now that’s how this works

Sailor Man: okay i dont know if you’re still reading this now and i am terrified to say this to you in person like TERRIFIED. might piss my pants if i did. so (y/n/n), my favorite dumbass, my favorite person to talk to at night even if it interrupts my binge watching marathon, you make me so happy to the point that even when i sleep you’re still in my dreams. i like you. i have like the biggest fattest crush on you. and thank you for doing that sour album thing or whatever, because of that i get to finally ask you out

you rolled on your back after you read the message, facing the ceiling as your mind processed what just happened. was he playing with you? was he actually serious about asking you out?

Incoming video call...

Sailor Man

you took a deep breath before tapping the green button and placing it back down on the bed.

“hey,” you can tell that he was tired based on his voice. “can you show your face, please? i miss you.”

ignoring the butterflies in your stomach, you hesitantly lifted the phone and shifted your position to lay on your side. “hey.”

“hey yourself.” steve grins. that stupid grin that makes your stomach turn, that grin you always want to see everyday.

“what’s..up?” you avoided looking at him and started to admire your surroundings and the posters placed on your wall. this was the only time you were glad you weren’t with him in person.

“i just wanted to see if you’re okay.” of course he will ask that. he's steve. he cares about other more than himself.

“i am, thanks.” you showed a smile that doesn't reach your ears and steve knew something was bothering you. “hey, look. i'm sorry about my confession- if it made you uncomfortable i'm sorry-”

“no,” you cut him off, looking back at his face on the screen. “i’m fine, really. you don't have to apologize. i was just, surprised.”

there was silence between the two of you for a few seconds, before you spoke again. “did you mean it?” you voice was only above whisper but steve managed to hear them. “of course,” he answered almost too quick, without any hesitation. “i've been trying to find the perfect opportunity and had been asking god for signs because i can't make a move myself-”

“asking god?” you chuckled and steve smiled hearing them, glad that he somehow lightened the mood. “well, more like begging.” he continues and you giggled.

once your laughter died you both fell into silence again. you still couldn’t believe that out of a fun joke, it would turn into a whole another situation. “so, um.. just so you know, i’m not mad, or upset, or anything. i really was just surprised. it felt like a dream because i didn’t know that you like me back and all i did was just supposed to be a fun joke but—”

“hold on, back?”

“what?”

“like you back. you said i like you back.” steve sat up on his bed and fixed his hair as his eyes widened. “i did...” you said slowly, not catching up.

“does that mean you..”

then it hit you. “oh, right. yeah. i- i like you..too.” you waited for his reaction and once you saw him smile you couldn’t stop yourself from doing the same.

“i knew it. and well, i guess that confirms it. we’re dating now. no taking back.” he smirks then laughs when your rolled your eyes. “don’t flatter yourself, harrington. i did not say shit.” you pointed your index finger on the screen, barely containing your giggles.

“based on your beautiful smile i think you don’t need to say it. i like you, and you like me. we’re dating.” steve gives you a teasing smile. you tried keeping your serious face but it won’t last longer so you finally smiled again. “alright, fine. no taking backs. we’re dating.” you said then laughed as he whisper-yelled ‘yes!’ while fist pumping the air.

he soon joined your laughter and you stayed like that until your jaw was pretty much in pain because of your smiles. when it was all quiet again, you both just admired each other’s presence through the screens of your phones. “i wish i was there with you.” he mumbles. “yeah, me too.” you hugged your cold pillow beside you, closing your eyes for a moment and imagining it as steve.

“are your parents home?”

you snorted at his random question. “i’m actually alone right now, they’re out because dad got promoted at his work so he and mom and i think a few friends went out to celebrate. they should be home by an hour or two. why?”

“nothing.” was all he said before hanging up. you were left confused but then he’s your best friend after all, so you knew right then and there that he’ll do something stupid. after you turned your phone off you suddenly felt watching a movie so you went to the kitchen to make some popcorn.

when it was finished and had been put in a bowl, that’s when you heard your doorbell rang—in a pattern which you recognize, and only one person does that.

you let out a quiet laugh when you realized who it was and set the bowl on the counter before opening the door.

“hi!” steve greeted you with a smile. “uh, hi?” you laughed nervously and stepped aside for him to go in. “i smell popcorn, are we having a movie night?” he says as he steps inside and shrugged off his jacket. “actually yeah, i’m planning on watching—”

“tangled.” he finishes off, you subconsciously smiled upon hearing your favorite movie. “how’d you know?”

steve snatches a few popcorns from the bowl as you both arrived in the kitchen. “(y/n), you have watched that movie 7 times this week and always gush to me about it.”

“well, you’re the only one that is around my age that i can talk to with that movie. robin and nancy aren’t that into it.” you replied, grabbing the bowl and making your way back to your bedroom, steve following your heels. “and you think i’m the best option to talk to about that?” he asks, plopping down on your bed and resting his back on the headboard.

“you’re not complaining.” you shrugged as you grabbed your laptop and sat beside steve.

“yeah, probably because i like you.” it came out of his mouth casually. you froze in place and felt your cheeks heat up, finally nodding your head slowly, “..probably.” as you typed in the movie in your laptop you felt steve scoot closer, making your breath hitch.

you were both in a comfortable silence while watching the movie, except for a few jokes and comments that steve makes and him explaining how similar he was to flynn rider.

“you know, since i’m eugene, you could be rapunzel.” he suddenly says. you eyes were still on the screen but your eyebrows furrowed. “why? i’m nothing like her.”

finally looking at steve, you almost screamed how he was already looking at you. “oh, you are so rapunzel. you may not have the longest hair in the world, but you are pretty much similar.” he replies, smiling and not taking his eyes off of you.

you paused the movie and shifted your body towards him, intrigued by his explaination. “how so?”

“well, first off,” steve starts, resting his hands on the soft mattress. “you’re both sweet, you’re both a huge ray of sunshine, have gorgeous eyes and smile, and eugene is head over heels over you — and since he doesn’t exist in real life, i’d like to be the substitute.” he finished with a confident smile.

after about three seconds, you burst out of laughter. you laughed. as much as he loves the sound of your laugh, he can’t help but pout. “(y/n), i’m trying to be sweet here!”

“i’m sorry!- it’s just- i can’t help but laugh at your flirting.” you managed to say between your laughs. you know he’s kidding but he looked at you like he was offended.

your laughter died down and held steve’s face. “it’s cute, sorry.” you mumble with a little laugh. when he finally smiled you turned to your laptop and continued the movie.

steve gazes at you for a few more seconds before watching the movie with you again. “thank you.” you whisper, glancing at him.

“you’re very much welcome, my rapunzel.” he says smiling before he slides a bit down on the bed so his head could reach your shoulder and rests it there.

you giggled as you heard him whisper,

“thank you, olivia rodrigo.”

[scripturiends]

stole all the air from my atmosphere

Read on ao3

Summary: Han Joonhwi thinks maybe pulling all-nighters wasn’t so bad after all, even when you’ve practically finished studying ages ago.

Rating: T

Word count: 1,577

Notes: Inspired by a poem by Timothy Joshua. And totally optional, but I recommend listening to this song while reading.

~

Hey, all. Thanks for waiting patiently for an update. This fic is in response specifically to a request I received here. I know a lot of people have been requesting for a sequel to ‘gave me no compasses, gave me no signs’ as well; truthfully, I’m not sure if this fic is in the same ‘universe’ as that one — all I can definitively say is that this still follows the canon. So, I’ll leave it up to you to decide if it’s the same timeline or not. I have a lot of fic ideas lined up for an “official” sequel, anyway. ;) 

The Solhwi brain rot just gets more potent as we anticipate the new episodes — I absolutely love receiving plot ideas from all of you, and while it’s a challenge to interpret it in my own way, I still hope that it’s on par with your expectations. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments. You can send me a message anytime too! I know I say this often, but your continued support really really keeps me motivated to write. Would love to make new friends as well, if we can help it.

Okay, the note is getting too long now. As usual, the fic is under the cut, and all mistakes in this fic are mine. Enjoy! 

~

There was that moment, when you stole all the air from my atmosphere; when my heart pounded within the might of all the planets.

It’s the third time Han Joonhwi has bit his tongue in the past ten minutes, attempting to stifle his oncoming yawns, trying not to cause any disturbance. He fights his drowsiness as best as he can, hoping that his companion wouldn’t notice — and yet, as his luck would have it, the moment he couldn’t hold it in any longer just so happened to be the exact same moment the person next to him lifted her nose from the book it was buried in.

Without looking at him, she flips another page. Tone commanding but masked with concern, Kang Sol mumbles, “Just go to bed already.”

So much for being lowkey, he thought. Joonhwi stretches himself awake, thinking of the perfect response: casual enough to make it look like he doesn’t care, but caring enough that she wouldn’t push him away. “Not until you’re done,” he finalizes.

Sol scoffs, tossing her pen lightly on the table. “You don’t even take this class.” 

Well, of course he knew that. But Kang Sol A — truthfully, he prefers to omit the distinction: no matter how many Kang Sols there are in Korea, or hell, even in the entire world, he’s only got eyes for one — is not getting anything out of him. If getting Joonhwi to admit his true feelings was her goal, she’s far from reaching it.

“You know why I’m here,” he sidetracked. 

Unconvinced, she turns to him with a provoking look, and Joonhwi already knows she’s about to go on a long-winded rant. “Yeah, yeah, I do,” she started. “You want to hang out with me but instead of just asking like a normal person, you make up this lame excuse about how I need to study even though I was already planning on doing that anyway. You practically finished studying ages ago so you just sitting there doing nothing is really rubbing salt in my wounds.” 

He watches her with both his hands on his head, suppressing a smile. Finding an opening, Sol pushes his chest lightly. “I don’t need you here. Get out.” 

She said it so weakly that he knows there’s no way she could have meant it. Making sure she doesn’t lose her balance, Joonhwi quickly takes hold of her wrists and gently places them back on the table. “You talk too much,” he breathed. 

Sol purses her lips in annoyance and propped her chin up with her hand. “Yeah, well, that’s why you’re dating me,” she pouted.

If she keeps putting him in his place like this, he might actually have to walk out, but not for the reasons she’d expect him to, like his supposed exhaustion. Joonhwi knows Sol doesn’t do this on purpose, but she naturally has a way of making him flustered, and he’s trying really hard not to lose his cool right now. 

She stomps her feet lightly on the ground, groaning. “This is too difficult,” she complains, leaning her head on Joonhwi’s shoulder. 

Really, really hard.

It’s funny how Sol can say something one minute and then completely contradict it by the next. She says she doesn’t need him there, but clings onto him like her life depended on it. Not that Joonhwi was complaining — but he does want to have a little fun with her. He wanted to stir her a bit with something like, I thought you didn’t need me here? He knows she hates being called out for snappy remarks that she only ever means as a joke.

But a quick glance at Sol, in her favorite pajamas and one of Joonhwi’s sweaters, on the very rare occasions she has her hair down, bangs falling on her eyes, Joonhwi decided against it. Her vulnerability shouldn’t be treated with ridicule; it should be met with an equal amount of softness. After all, no one else but Joonhwi gets to see Sol like this — he finds that as a privilege which shouldn’t be taken for granted. 

“Okay.” He gives in. “Let me have a look.”

Joonhwi holds his palm out to ask for the reading material, which, as usual, Sol rejects. “Didn’t we already talk about this?”

He feigns innocence. “Talk about what?”

Her head feels heavy on his shoulder. “I need to be able to stand on my own if I’m going to survive law school hell,” she reminds him. “You can’t keep coming to my rescue for every little inconvenience.” 

“So this is just a minor setback?” Joonhwi teases. He couldn’t help it. 

“No,” Sol cries, “it’s a major obstacle.” 

She snuggles up against him, and Joonhwi could literally feel the heat rising to his face. Nonetheless, he lightly holds the side of her head for support and asks, “So what? Are you just going to give up?” 

“Of course not,” she mumbles, her breath hot on his neck. Joonhwi knows the law well, but he feels like this should be illegal. 

“But sometimes I wish I was just naturally smart like you.”

He lets out a soft sigh. Like many other things, the pair have talked about this before, and Joonhwi has never denied that he and many others have had a significant head start over Sol. But this is what he’d always tell her: 

“If everyone in this school had half as much of your wit, every crime in the world would have been solved by now.” 

To which she’d grimace and respond with, “Yeah, tell that to the F I got in Criminal Code.” 

But tonight was different. Sol wasn’t coming from a place of defeat, she was saying this out of frustration. She was probably thinking that maybe, had her life choices been different, she would have had it easier. That maybe, had she been as lucky in wealth and opportunities as everyone else, she wouldn’t need to work twice as hard as them. So that maybe, like Joonhwi, she could just comfortably sit in silence with him and enjoy his company. 

Right now, he’s treading murky waters and he’s afraid that one wrong move could give Sol the wrong idea. Joonhwi has never been the type to open up to people, but she never made it difficult for him to do so. With Sol, honesty was just the default. Telling her things he’d never entrust with anyone else came as easy as breathing. 

He takes her hand and gingerly intertwines it with his own. “I didn’t have it easy at the beginning either,” he admits. “Law school wasn’t even a part of my plan, and yet here I am.” 

This is at least one thing he knows Sol could empathize with. After being betrayed by the last person he’d ever expect to hurt him, Joonhwi’s life took a turn. To an extent, he was motivated by rage. But mostly, he was just trying to find a way to turn that pain into something useful, trying to make sure no one else has to go through what he did. And call him foolish for being too hopeful or optimistic, but he believes this is something he and Sol can do for each other. They’re two sides of the same coin: the law owes Sol an apology, and Joonhwi is coming to terms with the fact that he might never get one, ultimately being robbed of the opportunity after his uncle’s untimely death. 

Joonhwi knows his words bear significant weight to Sol. There’s a lot of things he wants to say to her but right now he just settles with, “I think you’re smart enough. If anything, you need to stop going overboard. What if you get sick again?”

She lifts her head and stares at him with doe eyes.

“That’s why I’m here.” He raises their interlocked fingers to show to her. “Why do you think I’m holding your hand? It’s so I can pull you out from under when you’re drowning in all of this.”

Sol slowly breaks out into an endearing smile, trying to repress her laughter but failing. “Heol. Han Joonhwi, since when were you so sentimental?”

Joonhwi doesn’t know where this newfound bravery came from, but he kisses Sol on the forehead lightly. “Since you needed it.” 

Sol blinks, her expression unreadable, and Joonhwi fears that he may have done the wrong thing. But much to his disbelief, she instead grabs him by the collar and closes the gap between her lips and his. They crash against one another in perfect rhythm, and Joonhwi mentally slaps himself for not doing this sooner. Never has he felt more at peace than at this very moment, which was ironic considering he was supposed to be the one doing the comforting. And yet, the lines blur when he realizes that even when their methods are vastly different, they’re at their best when they’re in tune with each other’s needs.

And right now, this is what he needs the most.

Much to Joonhwi’s dismay, Sol finally pulls away; they’re both out of breath. 

Still in a daze, he musters up the courage to ask such a stupid question. In fact, he’s surprised he could even speak at all. “What was that for?” 

“You’re not the only sentimental one here. If you’re going to kiss me, do it right.” 

That was when I knew, you were worlds more, than just a first kiss.

~

Send me your thoughts here!

[blownbybakugou]

I Am The Game

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝚜): 𝚃𝚘𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚔𝚒 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖: Slight angst, Fluff

𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: Shigaraki poisoned Toga, but you made a cure and saved her life. Toga snapped and praised you as her god, then lead you to the league of villains, where Tomura took an interest to your quirk...

Word Count: 2.7k

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: Blood, attempted murder, mention of actual murder, cussing, mind break (non-sexual), Yandere properties, tooth rotting fluff, aged up/down reader (22), slightly Ooc Toga.

The sound of a steaming kettle is what woke Himiko, her body jerking up from its placement and her eyes flashing across the room. She was startled from her surroundings, to say the least. She was not able to recognize anything around her, then her eyes land on you, a young woman in her early 20s pouring a cup of herbal tea into a mug and treading towards the bed Toga was seated on.

“W-Who are you?” Toga asks, scooting back until she was against the wall behind her. “My name is Y/n. You were betrayed by your leader, and I saved you from your demise.” You spoke strongly. “But why?” Toga softens, her muscles relaxing the slightest bit. “I have a proposal. You being loyal, agile and brave, makes you a worthy companion. And therefore, I would like to ask you if you would join me, be my partner in crime, or whatever you wish to call it”

Your voice was silky and pristine while your expression contradicted what she heard. Your eyes were dull, but she couldn’t exactly tell what they looked like exactly, since they were settled on your lap, and had no emotion in them whatsoever and the rest of your face was soft and glowing with beauty. “You barely know me, how do you know if I am as loyal as you think I am?” Himiko questions, giving a quick grin to show off her sharp canines.

“I have watched you for quite awhile. I knew what was going to come of you, and I felt that I should recruit you as my own, since they didn’t see the potential in you.” You hand her the mug of tea you had poured and look her in the eyes for the first time. Toga was instantly entranced, the color of your eyes flourishing and dancing in her own. “Drink this. It’ll get rid of the headache you have.”

She hadn’t even noticed the pounding in her head until when you mentioned it, but she takes the herbal mix quickly, eager to please you. She gulps it down as fast as she can and sets down the mug with a bright smile. “That was good tea Y/n-Chan! Thank you.” You are taken aback by the sudden change of mood, but make no mistake to question it. Instead, you get up to put the mug in the sink of your apartment.

“So, do you accept my offer?” You query, glancing back at a very giddy Himiko. “Yes! You saved my life, how could I say no?” Her enthusiasm was confusing to you. She is a villain whom found out her own boss backstabbed her, yet she is being so trusting of you. As if you were her mother, or sister.

“Wonderful. We will be moving a lot, and before we start the murderous sprees, I believe a talk with your former boss, is in order.” You state, walking over to her with a smug smile. “Oh my god yes! This is going to be so fun!” Toga beams.

You kicked down the door with a small smirk, looking at all of the people inside and giving them a mock wave. Himiko giggles and leaps over the now broken door sending a deadly glare at Shigaraki, whom was leaned back in a chair nearby. “Hello everyone. This, is a warning. Dishonor has plagued you all, and we’ve come to rip it down. If you do not change your ways of betrayal, I shall send you all to a nightmarish hell, where you all will perish in ways unimaginable. But anyway, this is my partner, Himiko Toga. You may know her?” You send a teasing laugh in the way of Tomura.

“You are weak, especially without someone of her abilities, and you were a fool to try and kill her.” You say, moving up to his face, his scarred, oddly attractive face. He growls, and places his hand firmly on your cheek, waiting for the cries of mercy to begin. Only for you to punch him right in the nose. “What do you think you’re doing, you handsy bastard!” You yell, shaking your hand out.

Shigaraki takes a second to process the event that just played out. You didn’t decay. He touched you, with all 5 fingers, and you didn’t decay. “Who are you? And what the hell is your quirk?” His raspy voice sought out. “None of your damn business”

“Join us. You’re clearly very powerful, and we could use someone like you.” You snap you head to meet his daring orbs and glare him down. “You have nothing for me, therefore, I will not stay.” You try and shake free of his grasp, but his grip only tighten in determination to have you stay. You were the one he was meant to be with. The only one who he couldn’t kill with his deathly touch. He couldn’t lose you like this.

“Let go.” Himiko demands, clasping a knife closely behind her back. “What if I make you a deal? If the girl stays with you, you can both stay in the league. Sounds fair, right?” Shigaraki grins, pulling you into him. “That’s the boss’ choice, not mine. I follow her now.” Himiko snarls. “I shall not stay unless I hear an apology for Himiko.” You sneer, pushing yourself away from him and pulling your hand out of his.

His body jerked at the thought of admitting he was wrong. But you were worth it. You had to be worth it. “I’m sorry, Toga. I thought it would be better for the league, but I was wrong.” He grumbles begrudgingly. Your breath hitched, much like everyone else’s. You hadn’t expected him to actually apologize. You thought he would refuse you, and you and Toga could move on. But no, apparently this guy really didn’t want you to leave.

“Okay then, I suppose we can stay. Are you okay with that Himiko?” You question, looking back at your shocked friend. “Of course boss!” She cheers, giving you a loose hug around the waist. “I’m going to work on something. Toga, I need you with me.” You motion over to a booth with a table that was a bit dusty, but cleared off nonetheless.

The blonde female skipped over to the sitting area as you walked behind her, trying to ignore the scarlet eyes that followed your every movement.

You both sat on the red cushions of the booth seats, and you activate your quirk to begin the creating process. A cyber holographic screen projects out of your eyes and you let it float in the awaiting air as you reach into your backpack for your keyboard and controller.

You set them on the dust covered surface and watch as transparent green strings go to attach into each of the devices you had placed there. “Wow! Your quirk is so cool Y/n-Chan!” Himiko gushes, smiling widely and bouncing in her place.

“Thanks, I suppose. Stand and pose with your knives. Look frightening if you would.” You claim, fingers pressing against the hologram to move the surroundings inside.

Happily, Toga obliges. She puts on a face much like a yandere’s and hovers her knives with one behind her and one in front, seemingly about to strike. “Wonderful.” Your hand mindlessly reaches out to the side, scanning her body all while your other hand typed in code to enter her into your program.

Shigaraki’s vision trained intensely on your abilities, his gaze landing strictly on the translucent green display even when his eyes tried to wander further. What the fuck was your quirk? The question haunted him, he needed to know what power you held that stopped him from disintegrating your body, that let him touch you.

You could easily feel the many observations of the others around you, but you pay it no mind as you program Himiko into your game. Well, many have called it a game, but it is no game. It’s a nightmare no one would ever want to live in, let alone see. You were the one who made it into that, and you were also the one who trapped people inside of it.

You snap out of your thoughts of misery, and continue typing code while letting your scan sweep over every inch of Himiko’s form. She had done many poses for you, and you had implemented twice as many into your data base with only doing some slight editing and Himiko was evidently cheerful about it.

“You can sit back down. I have what I need now.” You say nonchalantly, your gaze not leaving your work. “Okay, got it boss!” She says, seating herself almost immediately. “Would you like to give it a try?” You ask, typing one last line of key into the system before starting and holding the controller out to Toga. “This is gonna be so fun!” She excites, throwing her arms in the air and squealing. If everyone wasn’t looking at you before, they definitely were now.

“Okay, there are 31 enemies in the area, all of which are horrendously terrifying. They plan to kill you in the most awful ways, and if you get trapped I’ll pull you out right away.” You speed through the explanation, trying to be vague about the outcomes and twists so that she could not easily defeat the monsters inside of your game. “Got it boss!” She beams, grabbing the controller and getting sucked into your algorithm.

Shiggy couldn’t believe his eyes. Did Toga just get sucked into a video game? This was his every dream, and he feels the itch to want to talk to you and claim you grow with every passing minute. “Stop being a pussy and go talk to her, Scarface.” He hears a deep voice scoff. “Whatever patchwork” Tomura retorts.

You watched Himiko pass each fictional horror character with flying colors, each one of her tactics more impressive than the last. You were implementing her fighting style into the game while also observing her movements to know when to pull her out of the fake environment.

You were snapped out of focus when you heard Shigaraki seat himself beside you and you lift your head lifting up to give him a daring glare, silently lettting him know to screw off. “I saw your quirk.” He says, pointing to the green panel before you.

“Yeah, And?” You snort, going back to typing away at your keyboard. “I want to play.” He deadpans. “Fuck no. Go away.” You retort, shooing him off. “Why the hell not?” He growls, clenching his fists tightly. “Because you’re a dick, and I don’t like you.” You exclaim.

“You sound like a fucking 5 year old! Just let me play damnit!” He demands, looking at your unaffected expression. “No.” You respond. With Tomura’s distractions, you had completely forgotten about Toga, who was finished with the main course of the levels, and was waiting to be let in.

You use your quirk to let the luscious blonde back into reality, and listen as she gushes over the details of your powerful quirk. Well, that didn’t last long due to her noticing her former boss’ presence. “What are you doing here Shigaraki?” She asks, suspicion lacing her voice.

“I want to play her game.” He states, voice raising ever so slightly. You laugh at his confidence in the matter. “Oh, honey,” You start. “I am the game. And you have to be really special if you want to play me.” You giggle, packing up your stuff and leaving him there with a heavy blush.

ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢs ᴛᴏ ʙʟᴏᴡɴʙʏʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏᴜ ©

[wrenhyperfixates]

Pretty Venom

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Loki pulls away from you, leaving you hurt and feeling alone. Perhaps an emotional confrontation is just what you need to get him to tell you how he really feels. Warnings: very angsty; maybe a little bit if fluff too, I guess?; bit of implied smut at the end; a curse word I think A/N: Based on one of my favorite songs ever, Pretty Venom by All Time Low. Enjoy :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine 

You didn’t get it. It made absolutely no sense. For the past twenty-four hours, you’d been running through Loki’s words in your head, your mind like a broken record.

“I believe it best that we have some distance,” he’d said.

“What do you mean?” you asked, voice and body shaking with emotion.

“I mean exactly that. I do not want to see you anymore, so if you will excuse me, I must take my leave.”

You were too shocked to do anything more than shout his name. Even your feet had forgotten how to move. Now you were laying in your bed, staring at your ceiling and trying to figure out what had happened. You were going through denial, even though you’d sensed something had been amiss for a while. At the time, you’d elected to ignore it, a decision you feared you’d end up regretting for the rest of your life. Suddenly, the answer hit you and everything became clear. Loki had been acting weird ever since you’d told Wanda that you like him. He must have overheard and not felt the same way, ending with him pulling away from your friendship.

As a new round of tears began to roll down your cheeks, there was a knock at your door. For a second you dared to hope it was Loki come to make amends, but were slightly disappointed when it was Wanda instead.

“Come on,” your friend said from behind the thick wood. “You can’t hide in there forever. Tell me what happened.”

“I’d rather stay in here, thanks.”

“You sound insane, you know. Whatever it is, I’m sure we can work through it together. You at very least should eat something.”

“Thanks again, but I’d rather rot.”

She used her magic to open the door, very concerned for you after your latest declaration. As she came to your side, you began to think back on your time with Loki. Throughout your whole history, he’d never been anything less than absolutely sweet and caring toward you. He’d always told you that from the second he first saw you, he could tell you were kindred spirits. It was from that moment on, he’d confessed, that he wanted to protect you, no matter the cost, and you’d been practically attached at the hip ever since. The momentary warmth that the memory brought you was quickly replaced with a cold feeling of loneliness, realizing that he no longer felt that way. It was sad, you thought, that all your happiest memories should bring you pain.

“Whatever happened, it’s going to be alright. I promise,” Wanda comforted, coming to sit next to you on the bed and give you a hug. Her worry was plainly written on her face. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“It’s Loki,” you finally admitted, sobbing into her shoulder. “He said he doesn’t want to see me anymore, and he didn’t say why. It’s probably because I love him, but he hates me.”

“That’s awful! It’s ok, you don’t need him, anyway. I’m right here, and you know that the rest of us will be, too.”

Even if you were upset with Loki, you didn’t want everyone in the Tower turning against him, and you told Wanda as much. After everything you’d been through with Loki, you knew he’d sunk his teeth into you. You just didn’t realize how much it hurt until he pulled away. Now it seemed you’d been deluding yourself by thinking he cared about you as you did him. You couldn’t even fathom feeling the same way about anyone else, much less anyone besides Loki feeling that way about you.

“I just don’t understand how he could say such a thing. Was he just fucking with me the whole time?” you asked Wanda, though you did not expect her to have the answer. “Was anything he said true?”

“I don’t know, but either way, he played with your heart. You shouldn’t give him another thought.”

A part of you knew that she was right and desperately wanted to pick yourself up from this pit of despair, but it seemed impossible. You spent the next week feeling just as glum as you had that day. Though, you had been able to get out of your bed and Wanda had convinced you to eat. Just as you had asked, she told no one what had happened, but most of them had figured out the story due to your sullen mood and the trickster god’s sudden disappearance from the common areas.

You were aware it was bad to continue living your life in such a sad state as you were in, but you were certain that Loki knew that he hurt you and done nothing to fix it. Your thoughts kept running around in your head, and they always ended at the same spot; how could he do this to you?

Feeling utterly trapped in the Tower, afraid you’d run into Loki around every turn, Wanda took you out for a day out in the city. Little did she know, Thor had done the exact same thing for his brother. Out of all the places either of you could have been, somehow you managed to be at exactly the same street corner. You tried to run away without letting him see you, but his eyes found you before you could fight through the throng of people. As if you were rats trapped in a maze, you ran into each other a number of other times that day. It was ironic that you’d managed to avoid each other for weeks in the Tower, but when you finally went out, you couldn’t stop spotting each other. Seeing your distress, Wanda gave up on your plans and brought you back home.

It hurt you to know that even if you were to go talk to him and try to be his friend again, it would never be quite the same. Maybe it could come close, at least. Anyway, you missed him, felt like you needed him to live. He was like a pretty venom: dangerous, but you couldn’t help but want to get close.

“Loki,” you called through his door later that day. “I just want to talk.”

No response. You’d spent hours in front of your bathroom mirror figuring out all the ways you could say what you wanted to. There was a surprising amount of ways to do it, and you hadn’t quite chosen one. Waiting any longer sounded like agony, though, so you’d marched down the hall to his room.

“Listen, I know why you pushed me away,” you continued when you were met with nothing but silence. “But I also know in my heart that you couldn’t have really wanted to do that. Not after everything you’ve ever said. And honestly, Loki, I just want my best friend back.”

“What reason, exactly, do you think I have pushed you away for?” he asked in a small, pained voice.

He cracked the door open so one of his striking eyes could meet yours. Even through the sliver of space, you could see he was a disheveled mess. A far cry from what he’d looked like out on the city streets earlier, that put together look being the one you were used to.

“Because,” you mumbled, looking at the floor, “you heard me tell Wanda how I feel about you and you don’t feel the same.”

“Is that truly what you think, mortal?” Loki shouted, wrenching the door open the rest of the way. “How foolish I was to think you cared.”

“How dare you!” you screamed back, putting out a hand to stop the door before Loki could slam it shut. You saved the satisfaction of doing that for yourself after following him into his quarters. “You’re the one who didn’t care about me. You’re the one who took back everything you’d ever said. And you’re the one who’s been messing with me from the start.”

This was definitely not how you hoped the conversation would go, but his outburst was pulling all these bottled up emotions out of you. Your heart was the one that had been under constant attack from sadness and loneliness since he’d cast you aside. It hadn’t occurred to you that he might be feeling the same way until he spoke again.

“Do you know how hard it has been to stay away, darling?” he coldly said, his venomous voice now quiet and somehow even more frightening. Even the pet name sounded menacing in his current tone. “Do you know how pained I’ve been keeping away from you? Or how my thoughts have been going in circles since that day? No, I suppose you do not know. Then again, perhaps that is my fault, after all.”

The whole time he was speaking, he approached you, and by now your back was against the wall, his hands pressed against it on either side of your head. Had it been anyone else, you would have felt threatened, but even in his anger you trusted that Loki would never hurt you. Not physically, at least.

“Then why, Loki? Why did you do that to me? To us?” you asked, your voice now soft too. You pressed a hand to the thin material of his shirt, over his heart, which was beating almost as rapidly as yours. “Why?”

“Because,” he said, swallowing thickly, his eyes full of sorrow. “I am dangerous for you. I did hear your conversation, yes, but I did not pull away because I do not reciprocate. It is because I could never be the person you need me to be.”

“But Loki, you already are.”

His arms dropped then, but before he could turn away or say anything else, you pulled him in for a kiss. It didn’t last long as he didn’t kiss you back, and you pulled away in embarrassment, fearing you’d misunderstood what he’d said.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologized, retreating towards the door. “I shouldn’t have-”

The rest of your sentence was cut off by Loki crashing his lips onto yours. His kiss was filled with just as much passion and desire as yours was. This time it was even better because you weren’t as shocked as he had been, meaning you were able to return it. His hands trailed down your side and came to rest on your waist while yours tangled themselves into his hair, pulling his mouth impossibly closer to yours. You don’t know how long you were standing there like that, mouths sloppily slanted against each other, but it would never be enough. When you did have to pull away for air, his hand gently caressed your cheek, and he kissed your forehead as he gathered his thoughts.

“May I take back what I said again?”

“Only if by that you mean you’re done punishing yourself and are ready to do this again,” you said, pulling his bottom lip between your teeth after a much shorter, but still lustful, kiss.

“I still do not believe I am worthy of you,” he confessed, “and I may never think that I am. But I cannot continue to hurt you this way. So, yes, I want to be with you, if you will still allow it.”

“I suppose I’ll accept that for now. But I swear one day, Loki Laufeyson, I will make you see just how worthy you are.”

“Whatever you say, darling.”

Then he kissed you again, carrying you to his bed where you would spend the rest of the night making good on your promise.

[thephantomofketterdam]

Brick by Brick

I'll destroy my armor

Part 1

Kanej Fanfic

Chapter 40 never happened :')

I hope you enjoy it, love you all!!! <3

English is not my first language, so i may have mistakes, i apologize in advance :')

If you see any grammar errors, please write it in the comments or dm me!

Kaz had never seen himself as a sentimental person, but in that moment he felt almost at peace, he felt the unbearable and constant pain of Jordie's loss lessen in his head. All five crows were with him, they had come together for a job and had successfully finished the job. Despite Matthias’s grunts and Wylan saying, 'What am I doing here?'. Kaz almost felt Kuwei's absence… almost. Now Kuwei has probably started a fire in the Little Palace and is getting scolded from Zoya Nazyalensky, Kaz thought. Poor Kuwei… Now everyone except Kuwei was in Slat, in Kaz's room. They were laughing and eating waffles. Inej was sitting on the edge of Kaz's chair, talking and laughing with Jesper. Kaz wanted to draw her to himself, he wanted her to laugh at him and look at him nicely, but of course he couldn't. Coward, he told himself, weak. Why are you keeping Jordie in your head, why are you torturing his soul and yourself like this? He shouldn't be this weak, he should be able to approach Inej without fainting. But he just looked at her, as he always did.

“Stop looking stupidly at Inej,” Nina said with a laugh.

"You should see your face. Oh no, you're starting to blush, Kaz the rose, a sullen, grumpy, red rose."

Everyone was laughing, Kaz prepared to say something rather rude to Nina, but when he saw Inej smile, he realized he was grateful to Nina.

"Nina, dear, you're starting to bullshit, if you get some sleep, maybe when you wake up we'll meet a reasonable person instead of you."

"I'm eating waffles Kaz, that's my most reasonable state."

“I agree with Demjin,” Matthias said with a yawn. Everyone turned towards him, and Nina dropped the waffle she was holding onto the plate.

"About that we should sleep, of course. Otherwise, you're always reasonable, little red bird."

Nina smiled in response and took the waffle off her plate and continued to eat.

"Nina, you and Matthias should stay in my room, Inej said. You can sleep in the bed, I’ll put a mattress on the floor and sleep. Wylan stays in Jesper's room anyway."

"I would never put you on the floor. Matthias sleeps on the floor and we'll have a girls' night, what do you say?"

"It's okay for me to sleep on the floor, Nina, really. You are both very tired today, you should sleep in bed."

"No," said Matthias, "if anyone should be lying on the floor, it should be me."

Matthias said this as if he were taking on the most important and dangerous mission in the world, as if Fjerda was in danger and he was the only one who could save Fjerda. Almost as dramatic as I am, Kaz thought. All but Kaz laughed at Matthias. Kaz was thinking of something else.

"You're like a sleepy baby, merchling," said Jesper. "We're going to sleep or I'll have to carry Wylan."

"But we haven't figured out who sleeps where yet," Wylan said.

"Enough," said Kaz calmly, but he wasn’t calm. He wondered if I should say it or not, thought how Inej might feel, wondered if it would be weird to say it in public, and finally he thought he should stop thinking. His life had always been spent planning something, what was the reward for that? Blood, loss, pain… maybe some money too. He thought he didn't have a heart, but Inej had changed everything he knew. Now he had to act not with his brain, but with his newly discovered heart.

"Inej, you can stay with me, if you want. If you don't want to, have it your way!"

Everything was fine until the last sentence, Kaz thought, how could I speak so stupidly?

Everyone was staring at Kaz in shock. Kaz was in no mood to look at anyone, afraid of Inej's answer. Was she going to tell him to rot in hell, that she would rather die than spend the night with him, or would she not even bother to speak and finish off Kaz with a stab of a knife?

"I'll stay with you," Inej said.

Inej's voice calmed Kaz, filling his head, leaving no room for Jordie. Inej's voice was Kaz's branch to hold on to, her shelter in the stormy sea, her umbrella in the rainy weather. It was the only thing that calmed Kaz down.

- I won't be able to sleep from happiness tonight, said Nina, clapping her hands.

Kaz rolled his eyes, but he felt the same as Nina.

[fablesrose]

OKAS XXXIII

Description: Y/n, a girl who seems to have found her calling. Being a SHIELD agent is like a dream come true. With a friendship starting to form with the Avengers, she’s the Queen of the world! What could go wrong?

Pairings: Avengers x reader, Loki x reader (eventually)

Warnings: fluff, angst

OKAS Masterlist~Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The days were getting better. I think.

Food was a blessing. I haven't had real food for seven years; I should have cherished it.  Luckily I had the biggest pile of breakfast food I think I had ever seen placed on my plate.

"Are you going to eat all of that?"

I glanced at Steve, then back at my plate, then back at him, then at my plate.

I never answered him.

I've been living on smoothies for the past six months, then before that, I wasn't even sure if what I was eating was food. My stomach was probably not as big as it once was.

Despite this, I dug in anyway. I had forgotten how good food was, even though I've been out of that cell for a few meals now. I just kept eating to the point where I didn't notice everyone else coming into the kitchen.

"Hey Y/n, I wanna introduce you to the rest of the team," Tony placed a hand on my shoulder making me jump.

I quickly swallowed and wiped my mouth clean, "Okay."

He went around the room giving me names one by one.

"This is Vision."

He had red skin and didn't look human with a yellow stone in his head.

"He's an android."

Oh.

"That's Sam." Tony pointed at the man leaning against the counter eating a bowl of oatmeal. He raised his bowl in acknowledgment. He looked nice enough.

"You've met Wanda and Bucky."

I nodded at them. Wanda didn't look at me, but Bucky waved.

"Rhodey is over there." He lifted a hand. He looked older than the others, closer to Tony's age.

Tony looked around the room, "You'll meet Peter later, he's at school."

There was a blur of blue light that came from the hallway that headed towards the fridge before coming back to sit at the counter.

"And that would be Pietro, he's the guy you sparred with. He and Wanda are twins. Any questions?"

"The last time I asked a question under normal circumstances I got kidnapped seven years ago, so I'm good." I looked at Pietro, he looked a little tired, but otherwise alright. "Hey, nice to finally officially meet you, sorry I almost killed you the other day."

He glanced up at me, "Can't say I return the pleasure, and uh, thanks."

"That's fair."

"That was awfully nonchalant of you." Loki took the seat next to me, stealing a piece of toast. I was nearly full, so I didn't mind.

"Hey, I would have said the same thing if I ever got an apology from you."

"I have apologized."

"I don't remember it."

"You've said it yourself, you've forgotten a lot of things over the last seven years."

I tilted my head, "I'm pretty sure I would have remembered if you ever apologized. That would be cemented in my brain."

Loki hesitated, "I'll admit you weren't quite... in your right mind when I did it."

"Oh?"

"You were high."

I thought back, "Which time?"

I heard a snort from somewhere in the room; I had forgotten people were there to listen in.

"You were given a sedative for one of your checkups after the... incident."

"Ah. Still don't remember it."

He sighed, "Fine, I'm sorry."

I smiled, "Thank you."

There was a pause where I took another couple of bites of my breakfast.

"So, anyone wanna tell me the story behind that?" Sam said, looking absolutely baffled.

I side-eyed Loki, "Do you wanna tell them, or should I?"

Do we have to tell the story?

Come on Lokes, it's a funny story!

I don't find it that funny.

Oh, the God of Mischief, otherwise known as chaos, doesn't find a story, where he makes some chaos, funny.

...

"So who's telling the story?"

I glanced up at Bucky before looking back at Loki. He looked slightly uncomfortable.

"I guess I am." I slid the rest of my plate away from me, officially full.

"I'm not staying for this." Loki started to stand before I grabbed his wrist.

"Oh no, you don't. You're gonna sit your ass back down and listen."

"I could just teleport away, you know that."

I looked him dead in the eye, "But you're not going to."

He grumpily rested his head on his fist and didn't reply.

I looked around the room, making sure everybody was there. "Alright, so it goes like this. I'm just coming back from an infiltration mission, full-on Hydra gear, the whole setup. My superior, Agent Brian Fletcher-- how is Fletcher, by the way?"

Tony answered, "He's retired, got a nice cabin in the northwest."

"Good for him."

I continued the story, putting in a few more comedic details than there were. Tony and Loki looked at me suspiciously but didn't say anything.

"And so I'm lying there, can't breathe, and I'm just like, 'You son of a bitch, what the heck?'"

The room erupted in laughter. I looked over at Loki who had a small smile on his face while he looked at his hands on the counter.

I finished the story with grace and excused myself to my room. Social interactions were exhausting now and I still had to get used to "normal life." It was nice; having friends was nice. It's been a while since I've had some.

I lied on the bed--no, on my bed. The lights were dimmed as I tried to recharge a little bit. The bed was soft, I just sunk right into it, but it was almost too soft. Seven years of sleeping on a cot that was only a fraction better than the floor can do that to you. I couldn't get comfortable so I eventually lowered myself to the floor, sitting up against the side. The memory of the cots had stirred something in me.

"Hey, Jarvis?"

A voice that was not Jarvis answered me, "Jarvis has been incorporated into the android Vision on the team and is no longer in service. My name is Friday, is there something that I can help you with?"

I thought on it and mumbled to myself, "I guess his voice did sound familiar." I sighed before asking, "Do you have access to recovered Kingdom files?"

"Yes I do miss, what would you like me to look for?"

"Jasmine Okoro."

Friday paused as the AI searched the files. It then produced a hologram of the file in front of me. Friday began reading it out loud, "Prisoner D2- Jasmine Okoro. In facility from April 2010 to May 2014. Status: Deceased. Occasion of death: Duel. Final Opponent: Asset D1-The Queen. Results-"

Friday kept reading through the report, but I stopped listening. I just kept reading the status and the final opponent over and over.

I killed Jasmine.

Something under my skin started to feel unnatural. More than usual I should say.

"Friday, where's the nearest fortified room? Like a panic room? And the fastest route to get there."

I barely heard its instructions, but I made it there and locked the door behind me. The walls were white concrete and not entirely smooth. I stumbled to the center of the room before collapsing on my knees.

I forced myself to look at my hands as ink sprouted from my fingertips and spread up my arms. These hands killed my only friend while in hell. I pounded my hands against the ground, trying to make myself feel something. Something beyond the unexplainable feeling of my skin.

Eventually, it wasn't enough and I had to release even more. Spears shot from my fingers and shattered against the walls, but I still needed to release more. The anger, the despair, and maybe there was a bit of jealousy there too. She didn't suffer as long as I did. Most of it was the guilt and the grief that seemed to rot my insides.

A cloud of soot exploded from my body with such force that I could hear it hit the walls around me. I collapsed to the ground, trembling and exhausted. This was the first time I had used Noxy's powers. I'm not sure how I felt about it, and I was too tired to care.

Tears streamed down my face onto the ground and I shut my eyes tightly, cradling my hands to my chest. Everything felt empty, my mind, my heart.

I had never been more grateful that there wasn't a thought in my head.

~~~

Loki sat at the counter while everyone else finished their breakfast and dispersed to work on their own tasks.

"That's not really how that story goes is it?"

Loki glanced over to see that Pietro was the last one in the kitchen other than himself. "No, no it isn't."

"What's the truth?"

Loki smirked, "You're asking the truth from the god of lies?"

Pietro's eyes looked weary, but sparked in amusement, "We all know you're about as honest as the rest of us."

A glass of water appeared in Loki's fingertips, "I guess that's true enough, young one." He took a sip. "The truth is, is that I almost killed her that day. She had just gotten her big break to fulfill her dreams and I threw her back to the bottom of the ladder with that severe of an injury."

"And she's able to just laugh it off with you never really apologizing until now?"

"You'll find she's like that." He paused, "Understand, that she will apologize to you as many times as you require of her, but-"

"I get it," Pietro interrupted, "Y/n's got more pressing matters on her plate than a sparring match gone slightly too far."

Loki watched the young man appraisingly, "Quite right, thank you."

The room was quiet for a moment before Loki started to notice some faint noises. His eyebrows wrinkled as he tried to decipher what exactly the sound was and where it was coming from. He looked at Pietro, "Do you hear that?"

"The thumping? Yes, but I figured that was just tired hallucinations, but I guess not."

They both stood and started wandering, trying to identify where it was coming from until there was a louder sound, loud enough for them to feel in their feet. They paused and found that it had gone quiet.

"Friday? Where was that coming from?"

The AI recited what room and they found their way without much hurry, only a bit of curiosity.

They found the room and found it to be locked. Loki turned the knob without too much trouble after a wave of his hand. He cautiously peeked his head through the door to see if it was safe. Once he came to the conclusion that nothing was going to attack him he opened the door wide enough for Pietro to follow. Loki's eyes landed in the center of the room where he saw a huddled form.

It didn't seem to be moving.

Loki rushed to the figure and his breath of relief caught in his throat when he realized that it was Y/n, despite the fact that he saw she was breathing.

"Is she okay?"

Loki looked her over, "I think so... She appears to be sleeping. I can't find anything wrong."

"Well that's good," Pietro sat down on the concrete, "say, Loki, do you remember what color this room used to be?"

Loki subconsciously ran his finger along the floor before lifting his eyes to the ceiling, "I'm not entirely sure, but I do know it wasn't stained black."

Best Buds Tag List

@snarky--starky @kitkatd7 @confetti-its-an-imagine-blog @kaogasm

OKAS Tag List

@paigelin @ghost-of-the-oldwest @frostedgiant

Loki Tag List

@whatafuckingdumbass

[the-melting-world]

Strength | Side B: “Chasing Dials”

Art by @ligiawrites

~ In which a secretive barhand brings in the new year…

The Trio Appearances: Kipling | Khleo | Ozy

Arcana LI appearances: Asra | Nadia | Lucio | Valdemar

Track Origins: “Chasing Dials” by Blanco White

Not sure if this is the right track? The full album can be found here: Strength

Khleo is Non-binary and uses she/they pronouns interchangeably

cw: alcohol, implications of vampirism, mentions of blood

~  2.3k words

***

Fireworks broke and rained hot glitter over the southern border of Center City and Goldgrave. A handful of bartenders were off duty and on the move.  

Khlee von Heine walked among them. She was the only one who hadn’t taken the time to change out of her work clothes. Her coworkers were loud, merry, and prone to recklessness as they stumbled from one pop-up bar crawl to the next. 

“Another year,” Gabe managed to roar over the next round of fireworks. “Can you believe we fucking did it?” He took a deep swig from the communal growler. The night was far from young and the barhands had lost track over how many times they refilled it. Gabe reluctantly handed it off to the next coworker so they could say their piece.

Khlee hung back in order to stand under a wooden arch whose sign was eclipsed in dead vines. But Khleo had committed its message to memory years ago.

Der Biergarten.

The plot of land overgrown in weeds and other invasive species was still up for sale, to Khleo’s relief. Though it was out of the way on most of her delivery routes, Khleo did her best to stop by every now and then. Just to make sure no one had bought up the property.

The barhand checked to see that her coworkers were distracted as she stepped up and snatched a flyer with the lot info off the gate. She folded it up and quickly tucked it in her pocket before the arm of a good friend looped around her neck. 

Basil leaned on Khleo as he pressed the convex surface of the growler against her sternum.

“Your turn.”

Khleo playfully shoved him off of her, but kept the growler. She took a sip. Basil and the other barhands chided her — she was supposed to make a toast.

“Fine. Fine.” Khleo held up the bottle. “To progress.”

They made a show of peering into the depths of the amber glass. “Maybe this year we’ll get lucky and actually make some, yeah?”

Someone snatched the growler out of their hand. Gwendolyn? Max? The streets were too dark to tell.

Khleo’s friends were off. They blended in with the city’s bar crawlers as they chased down the next booze cart. People wanted refills that night, not whatever Khleo was about to say next.

Later when Khleo had returned to her apartment, she traded her work clothes for something softer and more comfortable. Then she dug through the pocket of her discarded jacket and retrieved the folded up flyer.

It was a short walk from her kitchen to the bedroom. There was no bed frame or vanity, just three lumpy mattresses stacked on top of each other that she rescued from the alley when she first moved in.

The room was already small, but it felt even more congested thanks to the uneven piles of text, of which there two types — loose leaf recipes or pages ripped out of cookbooks and cheap serial novels with depictions of bejeweled dragons on the covers.

The only piece of real furniture around was an antique dresser, the drawers of which were broken and jutting out like crooked teeth.

All except one.

Khleo took a deep breath before crouching and using both hands to work the bottom drawer open. Like always, it did not come quietly, but with a little patience and a lot of swearing, Khleo managed to pull it out.

Most of the drawer’s contents belonged to her late adoptive father, Hans von Heine. However, it was an unmarked jar that Khleo reached for. She screwed it open and tucked the flyer for the piece of real estate between old flyers and newspaper clippings back when the garden used to host events. The jar had cash in it too. Whatever Khleo could spare went into the jar. Most of it came from what was left of her tips after paying rent, bills, and whoever she needed in order to keep certain people off her back and out of her business.

Khleo sealed the jar and did her best to ignore the tightness in her chest as she struggled to get the drawer to shut all the way. Once she had, she found that her breathing had become more than a little unsteady. It only got worse when she heard the fireworks going off outside.

Khleo shut their eyes and leaned their forehead against one of the crooked drawers, trying not to dwell too much on where they were this time last here. As it turned out, they were right here, drunk and crying at the foot of this very dresser.

Khleo curled up on their side. Yes, tonight their head was buzzing from the alcohol, somehow both heavy and light. Yes, the tears had found their way to the surface again. Khleo was never one to hold them in as long as they could find the space to spill them. 

Things would be different this year, Khleo told themself. They would make sure of it this time.

***

(Lucio’s POV)

Lucio hated the smell of this place. Rotting and damp. It was hard to believe that they were still in Vesuvia.

“You always have such a sour expression on your face whenever I come to feed. Why so, my Count?”

The silky, sardonic voice belonged to Lucio’s host, Quaestor Valdemar. 

“Don’t call me that,” Lucio snapped. He wanted to fold his arms and stifle some of the shivers running up his back, but he couldn’t as long as he was hooked up to Valdemar’s device.

“My apologies, Lucio,” Valdemar corrected themself coolly.

Another shiver climbed up Lucio’s neck as he bit back the urge to say, I don’t want to be called that either.

“Tell me, what plagues you?” They added with a chuckle. “Don’t you like your living arrangement?”

Ever since cutting a deal with the scientist turned demon, Lucio had been living out his days in the lowest cellar of the Lazaret. When he was first brought back from the Devil’s realm, he had been too weak to demand anything else. At the time, all he cared about was that he was alive and wouldn’t be devoured by the courtiers.

Lucio glanced at the tube looping around his forearm, its transparent pathways already inflated with his blood.

But at what cost?

Lucio grinded his teeth. It was too late to consider that now. 

This was how it always went anyway. Lucio would be presented with an opportunity — a way to improve what he could not on his own. He would leap at it, no questions asked.

Why, after all this time, after all those treacherous dealings could he not bring himself to stop and think things through?

As the last of Valdemar’s toll left his body, Lucio started to wonder what his mother might say about all of this. But he’d rather eat another shitty bargain than go down that road right now.

“Your contribution to our arrangement hasn’t been as satisfying compared to when we first began.”

“What are you trying to say?” Despite his nasty tone, Lucio was grateful for the distraction. “My blood’s not tasty enough for you?”

“It used to be,” Valdemar said. “I’ll be honest with you, Lucio, I agreed to keep you around as an energy reserve primarily for that reason. The notion of devouring you in one sitting and having to share with my dear contemporaries was not nearly as attractive as the possibility of having your flesh to dine on whenever I needed to during this indefinite campaign in your current reality.”

Lucio hissed as Valdemar unceremoniously removed the needle from his vein. He wasn’t sure how to react to what he had just heard. Thanks to Valdemar’s mask, all Lucio could read from their expression was the growing crow’s feet at the corners of their blood red eyes.

“So?”

Valdemar applied a cotton wad to the puncture wound and dug it in with their thumb.

“Ow! Hey – Owie!” Lucio yelped.

“So, my Count,” they sweetly clarified as they kept up the pressure, “I need you to find a way to restore that vitality you once possessed. Technically, you’re in peak physical health. I don’t know if you’ve looked in the mirror lately, but the evidence of your tussle with the plague has all but disappeared from your eyes. Your hair has been growing…” they took a moment to scan their critical gaze over the pale blond patches clinging to Lucio’s jaw. “You could easily blend in with the citizens.”

Lucio swallowed. “B-blend in? Why the devil would I want to blend in?”

Valdemar made a less than human sound as they peeled back their mask and bared their needle-sharp teeth at the former Count. 

“Right now you taste like a boneless, gutless, gill-infected inferior breed of mackerel. And I prefer to have rare, mercury-rich, vinegar-glazed bluefin tuna. Captivity is poisoning your blood. So I’m giving you permission to get out there in your beloved city and find a way to sweeten it.”

The Quaestor gave Lucio a not-so-gentle shove in his chair. They replaced their mask as they straightened up. The former Count’s eyes widened as he covered his hand over his arm. The last thing he wanted was to piss off Valdemar. But he didn’t know the first thing when it came to what they were asking him to do. 

“What happens if I can’t, erm… make my blood taste better? What if spending time in the city doesn’t work?”

The Quaestor sighed, their emotions back in check. They were already half occupied with cleaning their instruments and storing the sacks of Lucio’s blood in a portable cooler for later.

“Then I will have no choice but to invite my courtier companions over for a nice potluck dinner.” They glanced up. The crow’s feet were back. “And you’ll be the forgettable appetizer that no one asked for.”

Later, when Valdemar was kind enough to row Lucio across the stretch of water to the mainland, they suggested, “You should find some people who are very healthy. Outside of captivity, fish are the most robust when they’re in competition with other capable anatomies.”

Lucio hugged what was left of his royal uniform – a tattered speckled cape – around his shoulders. He grumbled, “Would you, for fuck’s sake, stop comparing me to a fish, Quaestor?”

Unperturbed, Valdemar said, “We’ve arrived.”

Lucio lowered his hood and blinked out at the morning overcast sky. His top lip curled into a distinctive snarl as he recognized where they were.

“Not here. Anywhere but here.”

Valdemar gestured to the nearest dock. “Get out, Lucio.”

The former Count wanted to blot out the images of the slumped architecture and purge his nostrils of the stale watery stench. 

“Not the Flooded District. I can’t stand this place. Can’t you see that it’s a failure that I don’t need reminding of?”

“Lucio, don’t be so foolish,” Valdemar said almost tenderly as they nudged him out of the boat. “The entire city is your failure. Much of which is hard to see. Oh, but it’s there. Now go on,” they said as if encouraging a child at the fairgrounds, “go find someone healthy. I’ll come to retrieve you in a fortnight’s time.”

Lucio couldn’t believe he was watching Valdemar row off into the mist. He tried to take a deep breath, but the air was so bad that he just ended up coughing. 

Even though Valdemar had been correct about Lucio’s appearance, looking nothing like he did in the days when he was the Count, he still found himself trying to crowd off his features with his hood any time a resident passed him by on the floating, rickety streets. But to his relief, no one seemed to know or even care about who he was or might be. 

As soon as Lucio relaxed his shoulders and began walking with more confidence, the inner walls of his stomach suddenly contracted. Then he remembered. He had just given blood. Lots of it. Usually, the Quaestor supplied him with something to eat, but this time they hadn’t.

“Damn them,” Lucio hissed. He cradled his abdomen like it was made of glass as he tried to make his way towards some kind of common plaza. He had no money, but perhaps he would be able to find a dumpster to rummage through.

He was passing by a narrow alley when he caught a glimpse of the impossible out of the corner of his eye.

A lion.

Its coat was creamy and short all over. Its size was nothing short of mythical. 

Lucio was tempted to shout at the two idiots occupying the alley with this beast on the loose, but they seemed both aware of its presence and entirely calm about it.

One of them was slumped against the wall of the grimy building. Despite their threadbare attire and weary expression, they were smiling at the other. 

“No, Khlee. Please don’t. You’ll be late for work.”

The person squatting before the first seemed to be focused on the task of sewing up what appeared to be rips in a heavy cloak. Even with their short jacket, Lucio could detect the shape of their arms. Their brown curls had enough volume to hide most of the details in their profile.

“Nah. I’m already late. This’ll only take a minute.”

There wasn’t much time to take in the rest of their features before the big cat stepped up, blocking Lucio’s view of them.

< Can I help you? >

Lucio ran. He nearly tripped over himself getting out of there so fast. But he didn’t go far. He gripped the edge of a building and poked his head out, waiting for the lioness and her human to emerge. When they finally did, Quaestor Valdemar’s words from earlier echoed in Lucio’s mind.

Go find someone healthy.

Well, the individual strolling confidently down the street with a full grown lion at their side was definitely looking like the healthy sort.

At the moment, Lucio wasn’t really thinking about what would happen to him if he failed Valdemar’s taste requirements.

Right now, his stomach was hurting. 

If the body of this lion tamer was any indication, they knew where Lucio could find himself a meal.

[seijorhi]

Hinata with an s/o who treats him pretty shitty. No matter what Hinata still is really sweet to them until he just kinda snaps. He decides to act really cruel back and seeing how scared she is he realizes he really likes them like that.

Thanks for the request!!

It actually turned out pretty tame, but I hope you like it 😊

TW physical abuse, kidnapping

One More Time

God you’re so pretty, do you know that?

He tells you often enough, showers you with as much love and affection and praise as he can muster, but you never seem to listen to him. No matter how kind or sweet he is, all you ever do is turn up your nose at him and snap some biting retort or insult.

Sometimes you just flat out ignore him, and he hates that most of all. Can’t you understand that all he wants is your love? Your happiness? You’re the single most important thing in Hinata’s life - well, you and volleyball - but you always treat him like garbage! 

It’s okay, though. 

You… you just need time to adjust. He’s taken you from everything you’ve known, your friends and family, the job that demanded too much of your time, that stupid boyfriend of yours, he just needs to have a little patience. You’ll come around eventually and then everything will be perfect!

Patience has never been his strong suit, but for you he’s willing to try! No matter how many times you yell at him or say such hurtful things, he’s never anything but sweet and loving in return. It’ll be worth it when you settle down, and he can distract himself with his fantasies of how great your lives together are gonna be until then.

He loves you, he loves you so much it almost hurts, but you act like it means nothing. You scoff when he offers to let you watch your favourite movie together, sneer whenever he cuddles up around you after a long day of training and outright mock and belittle him at every opportunity you get. You don’t even appreciate the new wardrobe he’s gotten for you - it’s all sheer, lacy and soft, but you just scowl and snap at him whenever he asks for you to try it on. It’s not that it doesn’t bother him, but he remembers how you used to be, sweet and kind with the prettiest smile and laugh. This you isn’t really you, it’s just an act. 

He’d do anything for you, but you don’t seem to care about that, do you? You’re acting like an ungrateful, mean, whining little brat right now, but he loves you anyway.

Unfortunately for you, it turns out that Hinata does have his limits. 

You’ve been pouty all day, so he does the only thing he can think of to bring your pretty smile back, he brings home some of your favourite pastries from the bakery you used to love just down the road from your old place. He’s expecting your eyes to light up, for you to throw your arms around him and shower him in kisses because he remembered. He might not have a lot of experience in the love department, but he knows how to be a good boyfriend!

Except your eyes don’t light up. 

You’re sitting propped up against the headboard on his bed re-reading one of your favourite novels when he gets home, and you barely even glance up when he calls from the doorway. 

“Baaaabby,” he sings as he all but jumps onto the mattress beside you, sliding an arm around your shoulder that you promptly shrug off. “I missed you!”

Your face scrunches up as he presses a kiss against your cheek, but you don’t even look up from your book. His smile doesn't waver, but his eyes narrow just a fraction - for one shining, dark moment, he has the strong urge to rip the book right out of your hands and tear it into pieces before your eyes. He’d only brought it over because he knew how much you loved it and he wanted you to be happy and comfortable in your new home, but he’s the one you should be paying attention to right now. 

But he calms himself, tugging you closer. He’ll have all of your attention soon enough. Excitement bubbles in his stomach, he’s almost vibrating with barely suppressed glee. You’re gonna love his surprise so much! “C’mere, let me show you.” 

He effortlessly yanks the book from your hands, tossing it carelessly to the ground. Finally, you look up at him, a petulant scowl on your face, but he doesn’t let it affect him. “You were looking a little sad today, so I thought I’d get you something to cheer you up!”

Without giving you a chance to reply he shoves the box into your lap. His eyes are wide and fixed on your face, searching for the reaction he so desperately wants to see, but you’re just…

You’re just staring mutely at the box. 

You haven’t even opened it, but surely you recognise the logo emblazoned on the outside. You swallow, and Hinata swears that he sees your eyes shine with tears, but that can’t be right… you, you loved that bakery! Why would it make you sad? “Do… do you like it?” He prompts when the silence starts to get a little oppressive. 

Like a switch flipped, your face darkens and you glare at him. With your eyes locked on his, you pick up the box of cakes he’d so carefully picked out for you and throw it across the room like it’s nothing but trash. “I don’t want you or your stupid gifts, just leave me alone you creepy little shit,” you sneer.

Something inside Hinata just snaps.

It’s easy when you look at him to forget just how quick Hinata can be. One second you're sitting on the bed beside him, the next he has you face down on the mattress, gripping your arms in a painful twist behind your back.

“Why do you have to be so rude all the time?!” he hisses in your ear as you whimper and trash beneath him. “I’ve tried to be nice, I’ve tried making you happy, but you just can’t stop being a coldhearted bitch for five minutes, can you?!”

There’s an edge to his voice that makes you shiver beneath him. Maybe, just maybe, you’re finally gonna stop-

“I’ll stop being a bitch,” you growl into the pillow, bucking your hips to try and displace him, “when you’re rotting away behind bars, asshole!”

His arm moves before his brain can catch up, a loud smack echoing out into the room. Hinata’s glad that the only thing you’re wearing is one of his shirts - currently riding up at your stomach - and some sheer underwear he’d picked out for you, because it means he gets the perfect view of the bright red handprint blossoming on your ass. 

You scream, writhing beneath him so wonderfully but Hinata’s just staring at his palm. It’s just like the first time he spiked a volleyball properly, his hand is pink and tingling from the force of the hit, and there’s that familiar sting that makes him feel giddy inside. It’s like a mini victory, that rush of pure joy that floods his body, and he can’t help but grin as he exhales shakily. His eyes slowly drift from his hand to your ass before finally meeting your gaze.

Oh, you’ve always been pretty, baby, but with your eyes wide and glossy with tears, your cheeks red and the unmistakable look of fear written across your face, you might just be the prettiest thing in the whole wide world.

You’ll cry and let him cuddle up and comfort you afterwards, you’ll be sweet and loving, letting him drown you in as many kisses and soft caresses as he can while he murmurs apologies he doesn’t really mean - he’s sure of it.

He rubs the angry, raised skin gently, tenderly, hushing you when you start to sob.

But for now…

Hinata’s grin widens. “One more time.”

[illyrian-lover-flower]

You aren’t alone - we are alone together.

Hi, @autophobiaxx - guess what, I had been your secret snowflake🤗. Believe me when I say I had absolutely no idea what awaited me on this project, but i am really happy I got paired up with you and it turned out this way.  

Your answers had always been so helpful and I might just want to pet myself on the shoulder with some lucky guesses I made. Hopefully this project had been for you as fun as for me, because I really enjoyed it. I actually found myself giddy through some days, not able to wait to ask you my next questions.

I do hope you like the first part of your present, the other two will follow soon - you get one on each Christmas holiday day. (That’s the reason why I had asked you to pick a number - you started with number 2. So, 3 will follow tomorrow and 1 after that.)

But now, I wish you a lot of fun - if a bit of my grammar isn’t as well as it should be, feel free to point it out - but please spare me a bit. English sadly isn’t my native language.  

Greetings and definitely until tomorrow😘

Word count ( note not included) : 7. 380 words

________________________________________________________________

It was so long. 

So long since she last saw the Shadowsinger - her heart longing to see him once again as she looked out into the endless sea of stars above of Velaris.  

No glittering light left alone, always a close neighbour that shone with them close by. It was an endless chain so it seemed.  

One that smiled down upon the fae of Velaris, her sister and her mate and even down to her - the lonely seer. That sat with a longing heart night for night, wrapped in a blanket, in front of her wide-open window. Hoping to hear even a silent beat of his mighty wings, hoping to see even a whisp of him seek comfort in the endless sea of dreams and light in the dead of night.  

Perhaps he had always known she was watching, was too shy to show up in the sky which she could see so clearly. Not even the bright light of the always shining city able to taint the dark dome that was stretched above their heads.  

It unsettled her. The seer's guts twisting and churning inside her as her heart made leap for leap, leaving a heavy rumble as it landed each time with the same wish: I want to see Azriel again.  

Elain knew it was selfish of her to think such thoughts, but he was her friend. One that had been by her side since she first stumbled into this new life, showing her how to embrace this new part of the world she hated for so long, explained to her that it was completely fine to not be immediately ok with the ways of this world, but that it was also good to try those new possibilities it gave her from time to time.  

And that she did, the Shadowsinger always an arm's reach away when she did so. A kind reassuring smile a constant companion when she looked up at him, those shining hazel eyes of his seemingly having never strayed from her.  

He was there - always.  

There was no way he would suddenly be gone. Her aching heart not able to believe even a crumb of this thought as she shook her head in disapproval at the night. Standing up on numb legs - for the twentieths evening in a row - from the chunky armchair. Hurt flooding her entire body as this aching wave of hurt crashed down from her heart.  

He would not be there, she felt it, would not be there for Solstice.  

Perhaps she should have asked Feyre of his stay, maybe even Rhys, but then again - these two loved to cloak themselves in silence. Everything that needed to be spoken  only between the two of them, far away from the worried ears of the seer.  

Feyre’s older sister - that was treated like a child.  

A child, perhaps that was who she was, a selfish stubborn, weak child that waited for its friend to arrive, only to be disappointed that he would not attain, would not be there the next morning to celebrate the Solstice with her - leaving her alone in the shadows of  a giant estate, that would this year not brim with happiness during the festivities.  

If she would have wanted to ask Feyre or Rhys it was too late anyway. They were all off already - celebrating Feyre’s birthday and the longest night of the year, under the stars of Winter.  

A great feast that was hosted by Vivianne and Kallias in order to acclaim Viviannes rise to the High lady of the Winter Court, though it was more going to be of a friendly gathering - that Elain had seen, in a vision, and with that she did not want to interfere.  

Her absence could be considered as rude, but her presence wasn’t of any meaning - Nesta was the emissary of the Night Court and she would be there. So, there was no need for the defender of Velaris, to go with them and abandon her duty. Though Feyre had given that title to her out of pity - to make Elain feel more useful.  

Allowing her to go to bed early as the stars continued to shine down in protection on the city, leaving her window wide open this night. The hope, that he would perhaps see her open window and come home, was all she needed to endure the cruel ripping of the cold harsh wind on her curtains in her chamber as she piled blanket for blanket atop of her.  

Trying to let sleep claim her with its soothing blanket.  

Though its blanket was nothing but wild and untamed tonight. Pictures of death and shadows, of chaos and blood infiltrating her mind. In her worry the seer was not able to part these pictures of violence into a vision or simply a nightmare.  

She hoped for the last one – begged for it to be the last one. As she awoke screaming, cold sweat coating her skin like an old friend. It happened so often already in the past, she had hoped these fears would have gone away with the years of peace.  

Yet it left her soaring, her eyes tearing in the darkness as she buried her face into her shacking palms. Letting the impressions behind her inner eye suffocate her - battle screams, bones breaking, cries of hurt heard among the heavy rain that poured down on the battlefield in the woods. Mud coating the already fallen warriors as hundreds of wing pairs peeked up from the carpet of death – Azriel's body lay dead and cold as a yarn of death weaved, among the other fallen warriors, into this endless rug of blood and rotting bodies.  

A silent scream escaping Elain's shivering body as his eyes flooded her mind. Those soft warm eyes, that reminded her so much of the forests she had wandered upon, that never seemed to stray from her and knew when she was upset or needed a shoulder to cry on - were looking lifeless and cold into the face of an enemy he had taken to death with.  

No!  

This could not be the truth!  

Azriel had offered so much in the last few centuries, had shed too much blood and fought too many battles throughout the years. It couldn’t be that the only thing the mother deemed for him as right was bloodshed and war and death.  

Azriel, too, had a loving family with which he deserved to spend time with.  

So, Elain begged the mother, that it simply was a nightmare that ripped sleep away from her. Her uneasiness making it impossible to just fall back asleep again.  

She needed a distraction, something that could bring her thoughts far away from blood and cold lonely nights, in which she feared Azriel would never return.  

‘Stop thinking like that!’ she tried to convince herself ‘Azriel is strong. Very strong - there is no way that he is suddenly going to die in battle. Is there?’

 It was a childish thought; she knew that as she threw a blanket over her shivering shoulders. Elain knew how sudden death could bite someone, no matter how strong the one it chose to claim - after all, even a High Lord can find death in a battle. Rhys had proven that and even though he came back - letting the vibrating song of the living envelop him a lot longer- there were still nights in which she heard Feyre scream.  

Some nights it was the scream from the battlefield Elain had heard. Other nights it was the same screams that ripped from her lungs, whenever she awoke from a nightmare.

Death had sought out her family too many times already. Feyre, Rhysand, her father, Nesta and she herself. Though it had been a human life that would have ceased -for the fae- in the blink of an eye anyway, it was Nesta’s and her life that had been thrown into the cauldron and was ripped away from them.

 Leaving them dead empty in a new world.

In a new world, in which hope had been a rare asset, once they were made. Though Feyre had it, just like Rhys and Cassian, Morrigan and Amren and Azriel. Along with thousands of others that believed in the good and hoped for it to win.

And so, Elain realized, she could hope too - would hope - that he is going to return. Safe and sound.

The snow on the streets and rooftops of Velaris twinkling under the many streetlights like a thousand fallen stars, leading the lost warrior home. The billowing curtains -hopefully- beckoning him to come closer as the two heavy sheets of fabric waved at the night.  

Beckoning him to come closer to his family.  

Any part of his family.

 Elain didn’t care to whom he would find his way, she just hoped he could find this way. Perhaps he already flew towards winter, having long crossed Day and Dawn on his way as he was now to spend some time with his brothers, friends and the female he so loved. Maybe his wings had flown him home to his mother, that awaited him with open arms and a warm smile on her threshold.  

Though there was a selfish wish inside Elain’s worried chest as she moved on silent feet down the winged staircase. Her long cosy gown swishing past her naked feet, like a fluffy cloud of dawn. The cosy cream white blanket atop of her long peachy gown, the last sunrays of the day that caressed the fluffy clouds a last time for the day.  

Sunshine incarnate.

That was what Azriel had once called her - by accident. His cheeks having taken on the same peachy colour as her gown, as she remembered this day with a smile on her lips. How he had rambled apology for apology silently under his breath.  

This selfish wish inside her growing with each minute, as she searched for a distraction from the bloodshed she had seen, only minutes ago.  

Elain Archeron, seer of the Night Court and defender of Velaris, wished for the shadowsinger, the Spymaster of the Night Court, her friend, to come home and see her sunshine glow in the darkness of night.  

She wished for him to be here. Left her window wide open in the hopes of this selfish wish.  

Wandering with a heavy heart, a soft hand placed atop of this traitorous thing as she walked circle for circle in the foyer. Her naked feet silently swashing step for step over the cold marble as a grandfather clock, in the far away corner of the sitting room, called her out of her endless wandering and wondering. Announcing to her the begin of the new day - Solstice - as it struck twelve.  

Finally woken from her trance she saw nothing.

Nothing that came even close to a Solstice decorated house. Garlands - along with the other decorations- stored safely away in the far back of a closet.  

With a huff did Elain start her hunt for the almost exploding cardboard box - the faerie lights all around the house turned on as she dug into closet for closet. 

Only in a little chamber, where she needed to dive through thousands of papers and weapons she found it. Her nightgown and the blanket covered in a veil of dust as she wanted to lift the box triumphally up but let it fall instead, her petite arms not able to hold up all of the heavy weight. Fir branches, garlands, mistletoes, little wooden figures as well as a heavy little wooden box - raining down on her.  

All far older than the things that were normally used, so it seemed, as cobwebs danced down on her. Covering her honey golden hair under a hat of grey nets. A cough escaping her lungs, just before a sneezing fit took over – the whirling dust having played a bit too much with her nose trills.  

With a, for her unlikely, groan did she bent down to pick everything up. Her form slightly shivering in the coldness of the small chamber, even with the heavy blanket around her.  

how could she always be that clumsy? It was a wonder that she hadn’t suddenly tripped in her garden yet. Accidently ripping out all the plants she had planted with such careful hands - that were now dust covered. As she loaded garland for garland, figure for figure into the cardboard box.  

Until she saw a little wooden case - engraved with twines and flowers, so it seemed. A heavy layer of dust hiding the once shiny wood underneath it.  

Who had forgotten it here?

It looked really old and somehow bits of the wood seemed to be worn out - along with the clank on the backside of the musical box. The once shiny metal having taken on the colour of a deep grey.  

Somehow this little box was fascinating her the little rusty lock, that kept the music box tightly shut, seemingly calling for her to open it. A lullaby on its own as she listened into the silence. Her eyes straying ever so often from the little box in her petite hands, searching for the little key that would fit the lock. 

But no matter how hard she searched for it - it was nowhere to be found.  

No paper hid it underneath, no layer of dust cloaked it, the cardboard box also never having swallowed a key. A sigh escaped her lips as she stood up on wobbly feet, tugging the little wooden box carefully away beneath all the fir branches in the carton.  

The way towards the door a fight on its own again as swords, arrows, bows, daggers and papers cluttered her way. Cold steel meeting Elain’s naked feet more than once as her eyes could not see what was underneath the large box in her hands.  

But somehow she managed to move across the room and finally leave it again - no blade having cut her. A dusty hell which she would probably clean later throughout the week. She needed to get the time over anyway.

And with this thought in mind, bloodshed and war long forgotten, she started her magic. Transforming this cold lonely house - within only one hour- into a glittering sea of Solstice decorations.  

She might have been alone and would be for the rest of the week, but that did not mean she couldn’t decorate the house. No one would take the decorations and the cosy feeling of Solstice from her, as she lightened the fireplace. the happy crackling of the fire suddenly reminding her of snaping bones.  

Bones of the Spymaster that ... . No!

She would not go there, would not let her mind wander into these dark parts of her mind again as she tried her hardest to overcome these blood-filled thoughts within the last hour.  

The seer simply needed to distract herself further. There would still be a later time in which she could enjoy watching the flames lick happily at the wood it feasted on -letting warmth embrace her instead of fear.  

And just in case fear wanted to overwhelm her again - she needed some nerve food. The plenty of cookies she wanted to bake this year, somewhere abandoned in the back of her mind. But the thought of searching in her endless messy cook books for a cookie recipe unmotivated her, so Elain decided to go for something easy.  

A recipe she already baked with her mother in the innocent days of her childhood. The smell of freshly baked butter cookies always connected to the cosiest time of the year. Stitched into her mind - just like the recipe itself.  

Already on giddy feet hurrying into the large kitchen, she made a mental list of supplies she needed: butter, sugar, vanilla sugar, flour, an egg, a bowl, a rolling pin ... of course, a baking trey with baking paper and some cookie cutters. 

Perhaps she could find some old chocolate too.

 Even though they tasted - for her at least- almost better without gloss and sprinkles than with them, but Feyre liked those with chocolate gloss - so doing a bit of glazing won't hurt.  

With a giggle on her lips and a grandfather clock in the corner that struck two, she hurriedly turned off all the lights in the house. Baking those divine smelling cookies only under the cosy light of some candles. The scent of cinnamon, oranges, fir trees and freshly baked butter cookies soon enveloping the lonely quiet house. A cold wind from upstairs occasionally getting lost in the kitchen, letting the fire of the candles dance in the dark - deep shadows running along the walls whenever wind and fire danced.  

It made Elain only smile more as she baked trey for trey - tiredness not even a whisper in her body as her thoughts were preoccupied.  

‘I wonder what Az and the others are doing right now.’  

A humourless chuckle escaped her as she rolled the rolling pin further through the next dough. It was past two, either way they were drinking or sleeping.  

And what did she do? Baking butter cookies in the middle of the night, because a wave of nostalgia crashed down on her, a nightmare kept her awake and she felt lonely!

 Just how she always wanted to spent the Solstice, a family festivity without the family she thought she had.  

It hurt to know that. Hurt to know that they were all laughing and celebrating, exchanging presents - while she was stuck here. Perhaps she should have asked if she could come along, but then again - she would have probably ruined it for them.  

Her family seemed to think that they could never speak on normal terms with her. They never knew that she, too, could speak like a normal fae being - not like one that was always stuck in the meeting of some lords or ladies, a stick shoved up her ass.

“Holly mother!” she groaned as Elain rubbed tiredly at her eyes, maybe she just wanted to get rid of the tears that started to whelm up there. Her heart having finally taken enough hurt and damage as she crumbled - just like the butter cookie she shoved into her mouth.  

Alone - that was what she was. Always meant to be left behind - protected- like they liked to call it, but the seer couldn’t take the isolation anymore. Each tear that ran down her cheeks, a butter cookie she ate.

 Some were still too hot, but she didn’t feel it as she stood at the floured kitchen counter and stole cookie for cookie from the treys. Those sweet little stars, hearts and smiley cookies the only things that comforted her, as she braced her arms next to a half-eaten trey. Her streaming tears luckily only hitting the empty part of the counter top - she didn’t want the cookies to become mushy, but then again - next to her - who would eat them?  

‘Snap out of it!’ was all Elain could repeat over and over again in her mind. Deep shivering breaths shattering her lungs while she did so. This wave of hurt from perhaps, two, three hours ago, burying her deep in the tides once again.  

She had overcome this already once she could do it again, tried Elain to convince herself, but there was this dark feeling inside her - that mocked her, laughed at her, pulled her always back down into the raging tides of her mind - each time a bit deeper.  

It was this dark mocking voice inside her that spoke as she opened her tightly shut eyes again, those emotionless eyes having once again returned to her as she eyed one of the butter cookies “What am I doing here?”  

And just as she thought the bells of the grandfather clock had drowned her out, there was this deep voice that rumbled along the dark gongs.  

“That I’d like to know too.” it was a mere whisper of silence, but never would her pointed ears overhear his raven voice. Her head snapping immediately up to meet his confused hazel eyes. They looked paler, but at the same time more awake than ever as they found her widened ones.

 A breathless choke escaping her as she saw him standing there in the doorway - wings tightly closed behind him, a black tunic stretching over his broad chest and shadows dancing behind him. 

Completely unharmed -just a bit dishevelled- his hair more tousled and a light stubble spread over his sculpted cheeks, but he was fine.  

Completely unharmed.

The seer couldn’t contain her happiness as Azriel voice had pulled her out of her trance - a wave of relief flooding her as she stormed around the kitchen counters and jumped right into his arms. 

One of her cookie crumble smeared cheeks was pressed against his warm chest, spreading crumbs on the clean black fabric while her ears listened to the calm thrumming of his heartbeat - a sniffle escaping her as she looked, through a tear cloaked vision, up at him. 

A genuine wide smile stretching across her cheeks, as he looked down on her.  

Azriel looked baffled at first, but a shy little smile spread on his lips too, once he heard Elain’s hoarse voice. “You are finally home again.” “I am finally home again, yes and thank you very much for the open window.” The seer couldn’t contain herself, couldn’t think about any consequences as she hugged him even tighter.  

Azriel. Azriel. Azriel.

Her mind chanted his name over and over again. A warm feeling sprouting once again in her heart as he softly whipped away cookie crumb for cookie crumb on her cheeks - those scarred hands of his as gentle as any feather - as she silently laughed at him through streaming tears; “Please, Az, never do that again. Promise me, please.”  

“What shall I never do again?” a puzzled look crossed his features as his thumb stopped abruptly its whipping, before realization dawned on him - though it was the wrong one as he tried to pull his hands away - already searching for an apology. 

But Elain wouldn’t have this tonight. And so, she lifted her own hands and laid them carefully atop of his - pressing these warm palms of him back onto her salty cheeks, a fierce look in her teared eyes as his searched hers for answers.  

“Please, Az, never again - you hear me - never again stay away from me for almost a whole month without at least a little note. Please, I was worried sick.”  

He nodded, even though there was confusion written across his face as his brows furrowed, before he spoke. The ravenous sound of his voice finally caressing her ears again “I had left you a message though.”  

“Really?” The Spymaster nodded curtly as his face turned firm. 

Those sinful lips of his pressed into a thin line while he held onto her petite body. His shadows turning slightly wilder as they seemed to roll off of him in waves - a sign that he was trying to hide his rage. Elain had noticed that a long time ago, that he seemed to hide in his shadows once he was close to showing too many emotions - it was a way to keep him safe.

 But worry still piled in the seers' stomach as she looked up at him - had a mission gone wrong that he needed to report? 

“Where are the others?” he suddenly asked, his voice pressed, as this cold voice hissed in laughter at her again.  

Wasn’t it obvious that he came for them? Not for a crippled thing like you! It hissed at her, eating up all her hope and what was left of her to make her happy - the smile she put on now not the genuine one she shared with him. 

It was the same emotionless grimace she put on when she first tried to be fae. Her voice sounding even to her empty.  

“They are in Winter. I’d thought you already knew that they were going to celebrate Solstice and Feyre’s birthday this year there. Vivianne and Kallias are also going to celebrate Viviannes rise to the High Lady of the Winter Court with them.”  

Hurt suddenly flashed through Azriel’s eyes - most likely at the sound of her voice. He needed to swallow hard. It looked like he had trouble to deal with the information's - while Elain had trouble to deal with all the questions swirling around in her mind.  

“I am so sorry Elain.” “For what?”  

Azriel breathed in deep through his nose, before he pulled her - in the flash of a second- into the soothing veil of shadows around him. Crashing her face once more into his chest as quiet whispers surrounded her - one of them was his voice; “I left a message to Rhys, Feyre, Mor and Cassian - I even left a letter, that said I would be gone for at least the next month -perhaps even longer- at both of their desks.”  

Betrayal, hurt, it all clashed through her as she heard these words. He trusted them all - just not her! He -  

“El, please hear me out before you judge.”  

A firm nod was all she could give him.  

“I had asked them to tell you, that you don’t need to worry. I just wanted to clear my head off a bit, ...” Long silence enveloped them before he - for once- broke the silence, the shadows almost drowning out his whispered words “... I wouldn’t have been able to go once I would have seen your worry, your sadness, but I couldn’t stay either. Couldn’t endure to be around her when I hadn’t figured out yet what she is to me. So, I had asked them to tell you -had hoped they would- but apparently ...”  

The rumble she felt in his chest as he growled the last part could have competed with one of the heaviest thunderstorms in the mortal realms - he would surely leave just as much damage in his rage.

He trusted them and they -somehow-  betrayed this trust of his. Hopefully they would have a good excuse for this, she thought as Elain hugged her Shadowsinger tighter. This wonderful, insane driving scent of his coating and enveloping her like a coat again -the cosiest cloak she ever wore.  

“It’s fine now. You are home again. Safe and sound – that is what matters.”  

This time he was the one that could only nod. His eyes hidden somewhere above of her as she was still pressed into his warmth. “Do you perhaps need help with those cookies of yours?”

Elain's giggle -that washed through his body like a wildfire- was all he needed to smile. Her shining eyes finding him once she had wrestled herself free. “With eating them, yes. But I can do the cleaning alone, maybe you could search for a blanket. Feyre always seems to hide the cosiest ones mother knows where.”

A dark chuckle rumbled through the house as they both began their tasks in silence. “Are you sure that it’s Feyre who hides them and not Amren?” “I could bet a cookie trey on that!”  

Needless to say - she lost that cookie trey.  

The kitchen starting to look normal again, while Azriel had found a cosy blanket - large enough for the two of them - hers from before abandoned somewhere on the couch.

 A silky short black hair peeking out from the folds of the blanket. This victorious smirk on his lips so insufferable and yet beautiful, that she could not help herself as to groan silently – while he placed two glasses of wine on the small side table. Already tugged in under the blanket.  

Azriel laughed as he saw how Elain balanced ten fully packed boxes of butter cookies into the room - handing one to him: “Your won trey of cookies.”, letting the others practically fall onto the wooden table as she grabbed her glass of wine and snuggled under the blanket too.  

His warmth, the warmth of the fire and the blanket enveloping her as he carefully lay one wing over the sofa lean - pulling Elain in tighter ever so softly.  

A feeling of peace washing through her while they watched the flames dance. The shadows to their feet occasionally twitching up to them, to inform their master of the safety they were in – never leaving before brushing the cheek of the seer, that stuffed herself with butter cookies again.  

Nursing already the second glass of wine, her eyelids grew heavier and heavier – her spinning head slowly sliding from his shoulder – sleep finally seemed to claim her.

Those golden curls of hers soon spilling in his lap, as she fell onto it sleepily – the glass somehow still safely in her hand, before it was taken from her.  

A soft feeling suddenly stroking her head in lazy movements - making her want to purr like a cat. She didn’t precisely start to purr, but she couldn’t resist to nuzzle closer into the soft touch of his hands.  

Azriel’s soft hands that were always in reach for her, that always were so gentle with her. His touch  -even if it just was a whisper of it- leaving her skin, her blood, her heart alight. This wildfire burning and yet somehow saving her. 

Elain was never sure of what to think of this wildfire inside her  whenever he was near, but never too close. Now she thought she knew what it was, this burning flame longing for him.  

Longing for his attention, his words, his touch – his love.  

And somehow, she thought, she had found it all tonight as she was nuzzled into him. This burning untamed and twisting fire suddenly turning into a cosy little ball of sunshine that warmed her skin and her heart, like the sun rays in the days of Spring and Summer did.

It was like coming home – or in her case having home come to her.  

Her mind finally catching up to her heart, to finally understand those feelings. Those softly blooming feelings, that would stay in an eternal Spring.  

“Az?” she suddenly asked. Her eyes closed softly as her smiling face was turned to him, his hands – thank the mother- still buried in her mass of hair. “Hm?”  

“Can I ask you something personal?”  

He hesitated for a moment, before he nodded. Though her heart ached and her throat was desert dry, she needed to ask him, needed to know. “Who did you mean when you said you couldn’t be around her?”  

“Morrigan.”  

“Why that? Has she done something bad, did she hurt you?”  

“Not really El, it’s just – somehow she helped me realize something and I wasn’t able to deal with it as well as I thought.”  

To say Elain was never more curious than now would have been a lie. She was always curious when it came to the shadowsinger, but as the tension flooded her  – curiosity never felt heavier than now. 

Her wondering eyes opening slowly to see his far away gaze fixed on a strand of fire that danced along a log.  

Tension resting on his shoulders as he looked stiff like a stone. The silence pushing down on them as neither dared to speak, the heavy gong of the grandfather clock suddenly awakening them from their daydreams.

A yelp escaped Elain as she flinched at the sound, an uneasy feeling waking up her entire body again. Gravity pulling at her gown as soon as she was fully woken and struggled to get a hold on the warrior. The soft rug in front of the couch luckily cushioning the fall a bit, though it didn’t prevent the cookie boxes to fall down on her.  

A silent,almost drowned out clicking landing next to her ear.  

For a moment she sat there, lay there, with baffled eyes between the small space of couch and table. A loud laugh erupting from her as soon as she realized her situation, the heavy rumble of Azriel’s ravenous chuckle joining hers until he noticed the small high-pitched noise – that played to his feet.  

A furrow settling between his thick eyebrows. 

“El, are you alright?” With a huff she took the scarred hand of the shadowsinger-her love- and pulled herself up again.  

The tasty baked goods laying forgotten and cracked in the boxes on the floor. Just not the little music box – which the shadowsinger picked up with great interest as something dawned in his eyes.

Recognition – Elain realized with wonderous eyes. Her petite curious form taking up the space next to him again

It was his music box!  

“Azriel are you alright?”  

He could only turn his  -so incredibly- happy face to her. Those hazel eyes of his almost drowning in tears as he looked like a little kid on Solstice that had received the present of his dreams. Holding it in his shaking scarred hands like a sacred treasure.  

Elain always knew Azriel was never a male of many words, but as he lay the delicate box in his lap and crashed her entire being with one hug – she was never more amazed than now.  Warmth spreading through her. Elains bones and her very blood singing of the feelings that were weaved into her being.

Home.  

She thought again. Azriel was her home – even though he might not have realized it yet, she would gladly wait for him to see -perhaps- home in her one-day too. But maybe he already did that.  

The fire his body gave over to hers, more than just his body heat. There was so much in this hug, as his face was buried in her shoulder. Tears dripping down on the pale skin of her shoulder as she carefully hugged him too. 

Those soft feelings of her’s hopefuly showing him everything her heart could offer. 

A sniffle of him, pulling them apart. The question of why he hugged her, of why he cried – lost on the tip of her tongue as he beat her to it.  

“This music box, it belonged to my mother.”he fumbled for something around his neck, pulling at a long black bond – to which a little rusted key was attached. Fitting perfectly inside the lock.  

A beautiful little melody beginning to play as soon as he turned the crank a few times, soft petals of a delicate Violet opening as it took slow turns - amazement written across Elain’s face.  

Azriel only smiled at it. The story behind the little music box wrestling itself free.  

“It belonged to my mother. She gave it to me when I was dropped into Windhaven – it was next to the clothes I had on me the only thing I possessed. She gave it to me, telling me: ‘As long as this melody plays, there is hope that we will live one day in freedom.’  And I believed her – turning the crank each night before I went to bed and each morning before I went to training.”

A low chuckle rumbled through him “When Rhysand’s mother picked me up and gave most of her attention to me, instead of Rhys and Cass – they weren’t the fondest of me. And when they found out about the music box - they took it from me. 

Rhys words echoed still for many months in my head: ‘Isn’t the attention of my mother good enough for you or why are you always listening to this baby toy?’. Back then, when they took it, I had not let a single word slip from my lips for the next two months as I plotted out how I could make them give it back to me, but soon after these months of silence did my mother come free.  

She had earned her freedom again, while I still fought for mine. But I was so incredibly happy, that I had lost thought to the music box. Only when my mother had asked me four centuries ago if I still had it – I remembered it again. Guilt had filled my guts as I told her I had lost it, but she only smiled and told me, once I had it I should not keep it.”

Azriel’s eyes never strayed from the frayed wood as a deep chuckle erupted from him, a barely audible whisper following “I hadn’t known what she meant back then, but now I do.” Before he turned to Elain. 

Telling her the last parts of this story with such sincerity, that the pure look of his eyes into hers, had her warm and cosy. Her insides carving to be with him, to just hug him, but she wanted to see him tell this story. Did not want to miss one of his loving gazes, so this had to do – her hands softly cupping his as they held and listened to the music together.  

“Even though it confused me that I should give it away - I still asked Rhys where they hid it, but he didn’t remember. I remember that all three of us Cassian, Rhys and I, had turned the hut in the mountains, in Windhaven and the town house in Velaris upside down. No one of us even heard a tiny tone of the melody and eventually gave up on it – they did at least. Somehow, I was never able to lose hope –probably an echo of the melody that still played in my ears.”

Soft chuckles escaped him a final time before he closed the lid, put the tiny key with the black leather bond atop of it and carefully lay it into Elain’s hands, wonder lacing her gaze as she looked down at it.  

Azriel’s next innocent words held so much meaning, yet he only whispered them. Shy hazel eyes boring into her tearing doe ones.  

“Elain Archeron, I am so incredibly thankful you found it for me. Though it doesn't come close to the feeling of happiness and joy that erupts inside of my chest whenever I see you. Your voice alone a lullaby to me. One that calms me, sooths me and somehow always manages to be there for me when I need you. A friend.”

A sudden pang of hurt crossed her heart, but she smiled nonetheless. If she could make Azriel  happy as a friend, she would be happy too – would take joy in seeing him happy for the rest of eternity. Even though her traitorous heart started just tonight to hope for his love. Hoped that those scarred palms of his would hold and nurse her heart for the next millennia's – until the mother decided it was time for the seer to go.  

“So, I thought.” he suddenly said. Snapping her out of her cruel train of thoughts. Capturing her eyes- her attention- once again.  

“I had always thought you were a friend, had always thought the safety, the lightness I felt around you was the same with my brothers. I had for more than five centuries believed love was supposed to be a burning thing – one that burned and feasted upon feelings until one day nothing but ashes were left, but you proved me wrong. Made me realize what love is.”  

Elain was speechless, her eyes having long brimmed over with tears as she held the little box in shaking palms.

 Her heart realizing what it meant to him, what he gave her.  

His heart. He gifted her his heart.  

Those scarred hands, having placed it shyly in her hands – while they now whipped her tears away again. Her heart beating so unbelievably fast as he placed his forehead softly atop of hers. “When Mor sought me out at the beginning of the month – I think I already started to realize that my heart had long fallen for you, that I had fallen for you. Mor came to tell me about her preferences of females and in all honesty it didn’t really hurt.”  

Elain nodded. One week after Azriel was gone the golden female had it declared officially. The seer had always respected the Morrigan, though on that evening she had been slightly angry with her – thinking she chose to tell this then when the one that effected it the most wasn’t there. The fact that Elain now found out that she had sought him out a week earlier already – made her feel guilty.  

She hadn’t known that. But she came to realize something. “You had left to get your thoughts sorted out.” Azriel only nodded.  

“These twenty days I had spent away from you made me realize the longing I felt. The longing to be close to your heart.”  

Elain only smiled at him.

 Her tear-stained vision seeing him. Seeing how the reflections of orange and red danced in those soft black hairs of his, every vein in his wings seeable as the fire shone through it. Her eyes, so it seemed, able to see his wildly beating heart when she gave him back the box.  

His form grew stiff as he held the old wood back in his hands, but Elain kept the key.  

The key to his heart.

 And he understood. A blinding smile erupting on his face as he took the box back. Elain’s sheepish voice a mere whisper when she asked him: “Is it selfish of me – to want to be the key to your heart?”  

Azriel didn’t answer that, not with words at least as his lips crashed hers. 

Joy and happiness claiming him, making him act before thinking of the consequences. Though, he thought with a smile, as Elain’s lips pillowed his: I will verry much enjoy these consequences.  

But there were no consequences. All he got was Elain’s unbelievably big heart – that beat in the same thumping rhythm as his as their chests were pressed together. 

Elain’s petite body laying atop of his as her love completely overwhelmed him. The realization of that had her giggling into the kiss, until they broke apart. Heavy breaths fanning over each other's lips as they gaped for air. Elain fully bursting out laughing once she realized what she did.  

Her bell like laugh echoing throughout the house, like a warm breeze of wind in summer as she hugged the shadowsinger – her shadowsinger.  

Those pointed ears – which she had cursed for so long- listening to the song of his heartbeat while his scarred hands – to which she gave so much admiration – drew calming circles on her back as they lay on the couch.  

The fire crackling, the cookies and the wine abandoned and the music box and the key safely put aside on the table. Their souls finally having found the way together as their hearts were finally able to embrace the other fully.  

Their heated lips finding purchase on those on the other one ever so often as they showered in silent kisses on the eyebrow, the forehead, the nose, the cheek, the hands – leaving the skin of each other alight with every wet kiss.  

Trust, love, adoration and so many other emotions weaved into the air between them as they fell asleep at the struck of five – not even the loud gong of the grandfather clock able to pull them apart from their little world.  

Perhaps, they thought, it was good that their family wasn’t home – like that there was no need to be silent.

And neither was.

The house having long brimmed over with love as each of their family members came back. Standing baffled in the foyer as they watched sunshine and shadows dance, or rather chase. A play of tag having erupted between the two, while giggles and chuckles flooded the house.

Only a coughing fit of Cassian was able to make them look at their family. Mor and Amren smirking at what they  was displayed infront of them, while Rhys and Feyre were left speechless. Nesta looked like as if she either wanted to stab Az or puke on the floor at the sweet silliness with which they chased each other.  

All of them having witnessed the shower of kisses in which Elain drowned Azriel  as she got him. Though he did not seem to mind. Her lips still pressed against his cheek as they were caught.  

But before even one of them could speak up – Azriel glared at them all and winnowed away together with his love.  

_____________________________________________________________

I hope you all enjoyed that one. Though I do admit it had hurt a bit to portray Rhys as such an a-hole. 

But I needed someone that was close to Az and could play a meaner rolle and since we all know that both, Cass and Rhys, had troubles to get along with Az at first I chose Rhys, because he could winnnow stuff away. 

Anyway, here is a small hint for tomorrows fic:Something little comes around ;)

Taglist: @heirofthrnightcourt004​

[spidernerdsblog]

I Forgot That You Existed : Chapter Five

A/N: Chapter five is here. The pent up tension between our ex-lovers is getting too much for them to handle. As things get heated up they give in to their feelings momentarily. Are they gonna regret it? Or will this reignite their love giving a new dynamic to their relationship? Y/N has been hiding a secret will she reveal it? What implication will its revelation bring in their lives? I hope you like this chapter. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome. Let me know what do you think Y/N has been hiding.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader 

Summary : It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realize you are still not done with each other.

Warnings : fluff, making out.

Mini Playlist : Bad Blood by Taylor Swift, Cheap Thrills by Sia, Break My Heart by Dua Lipa

Tom and El breathing heavily. Tom rolled over to the side placing his hands below his head staring at the ceiling. El scooched into him, placing her hand on his bare chest.

“That was amazing.” El said, letting out a deep breath.

“Hmmm” Tom hummed.

Loud laughter and giggles were heard from your room. As you and Z were literally screaming at the top of your voice singing.

'Cause, baby, now we've got bad blood You know it used to be mad love So take a look what you've done 'Cause, baby, now we've got bad blood, hey! Now we've got problems And I don't think we can solve 'em You made a really deep cut And, baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!

“They are really close aren't they?”

“Yeah they are soul sisters." he chuckled. "Surprisingly Y/N has been with us since childhood but Z seems to know her more than any of us in such a short time.”

“Because we girls understand each other very well mister. There are some things guys will never understand”

“So you are trying to tell me that I don’t understand you”

“I didn’t say that dummy” El laughed lightly slapping on his chest

Tom and El were startled by a loud thud as if someone fell on the floor as they heard you groaning loudly

"Owww!!! My ass!!" you groaned going into fits of laughter. You and Zendaya were pillow fighting as you lost balance and fell.

“You deserve that bitch” Zendaya giggled.

El smiled listening to your banters “Someone is way too excited and happy” she chuckled.

“You know I think they are perfect” looking up to Tom

“Who?”

“Steve and Y/N, they make a perfect couple. She should consider this relationship.”

“I think it's too early to comprehend darling as much as I know her Steve isn’t her type”

“Why not? I mean their personalities complement each other so well; it will in a way benefit both of them professionally too. She is a world class singer and he is such a skilful event manager if they work it out and get married in future you know what I mean.

“Maybe”

Tom turned to his side, his back facing El. He frowned at the thought of seeing you with someone else. But then El's words struck him, he thought what if that guy was trying to befriend you just for his professional gains. He felt he needed to protect you from another heartbreak. He decided in his mind to talk to you about this tomorrow.

You were all having breakfast. Steve had called you saying he will come to pick you at 9. You chose to wear a cute top with your shorts.

“You look cute in that top Y/N” El complimented

“Thanks El”

“Any special reason?” El danced her eyebrows

“Oh nothing” you shrugged.

“I know, Stevey boy is coming to pick her up” Chloe chirped

“Oh shut up” you blushed.

You went to put your plate in the kitchen sink. Tom was already in there. He thought this is the right time to talk to you.

“Umm Y/N I need to talk to you about something”

“Yeah what is it?”

“I think you should keep your distance from that guy. I mean Steve”

“Umm okay I'll give it a thought. But any reason why should I be away?”

“Because I said so.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” You smirked, raising an eyebrow. Tom scoffed

“Listen Y/N I’m serious. I..I’m just trying to protect you okay”

“I’m not a baby Tom. I can take care of myself but thanks for your concern”

“Look who is here Mr. Johnson” you heard Ed and ran out to meet Steve.

“ Heyyy you.. you look ...pretty” Steve fumbled

“Thanks. You blushed tucking your hair behind your ear. “let's go then”

“Yeah, after you.”

You buckled the extra helmet Steve brought for you and sat down behind him on the bike. He started his bike and pulled the clutch to shift the gear you jolted into him clutching his broad shoulders tightly.

“You did that intentionally didn't you?” narrowing your eyes.

“You weren’t holding on to me tightly darling” Steve gave you a cheesy smile. You rolled your eyes.

You reached the spot in around 20 minutes. Steve led you to the stage.

“Okay so this is your stage rockstar. Whatever you require just tell me I’ll arrange everything”

You slipped your guitar strap around your shoulder as you started rehearsing the chords.

“You know you should start with look what you made me do. That's really a badass song and maybe finish with something soft and romantic. It will be even better if you give a sneak peek of your upcoming album by performing a new song.” Steve suggested

“That’s actually a great idea Steve! Thanks” You continued rehearsing and completely lost track of time. Suddenly you felt a pair of hands around your hips. You smiled. Steve placed his chin on the crook of your neck.

“Hey beautiful! Are you hungry?”

“Yeah a little” you nodded

“Let’s go and grab some lunch then”

“So should I take this as a simple lunch or an official date?” you smirked

“A lunch date maybe” he shrugged with a toothy grin

Back at the house everybody was having lunch.

“Excuse me guys” El ran to the bathroom feeling nauseous and she threw up. Tom ran to her aid. He came out with her carrying her to their room. Everybody was worried.

You were seated at a nearby restaurant. You both were having a good time eating and chatting; your phone dinged the screen flashed Zendaya’s name.

Come back immediately. It’s urgent

“I’m sorry I gotta go something urgent has come up” you got up from your seat apologizing to Steve

“That’s fine love. I’ll drop you” Steve got up too as he took you home.

You reached home around noon. Zendaya had texted you about what had happened. Everyone was sitting in the living room as you entered.

“How is she?” you asked

“She's fine.. taking rest” Sam stated

“So is she pregnant or something?”

“Y/N?!’’ Zendaya elbowed you looking at you with wide eyes.

“What?! I'm serious; the symptoms you told are either indigestion or pregnancy. And please don't tell me that they aren't sexually active because we got the sneak peek yesterday itself."

 “This isn't a joke Y/N” Tom said sternly

 “I'm not joking Tom I will never joke on such a serious topic because I'm very well aware of the implications it brings to a person's life.”

 Zendaya grabbed your hand and shook her head violently, panic in her eyes to stop you from talking further. You understood what she was trying to say and tried to cover up

 “And.. anyways you two are getting married it’s nothing to freak out. I would still recommend her to take the test.”

 “It's okay Y/N. I had my period plus I’m on pills so nothing to worry. It was actually indigestion. Sea food really does not suit me. But I don't think I will be able to go to the beach carnival with you guys, still feeling a little unwell.” El said as she came down the stairs.

 “It's okay babe you take rest I'll stay with you” Tom went up to her as he ran his hand on her back in a soothing way.

 “No Tom, you should go, why miss out on the fun for me.”

 “It's okay El nothing is more important than you in my life.” Tom held her hands placing light kisses on them.

 “I know bubs and your happiness is my first priority, so go and enjoy for my sake.” Tom didn’t extend the conversation any further and agreed to her.

Now you felt nauseous looking at their cliche tooth rotting romance. You blew out your cheeks and turned towards Steve who was standing at your back.

“Okay then see tomorrow” you hugged each other.

“Yeah bye darling” Steve left

Everyone went to their rooms to get ready for the carnival. Tom was dressing up as suddenly your words reverberated in his mind. He couldn't make any sense out of your words. What did you mean by the implication of pregnancy in a person's life and why did Z abruptly shut you up. He felt as if you both were hiding something.

 “Seriously Y/N were you out of your mind?! You were just going to spill everything out.” Zendaya lashed out.

 “I know I'm sorry. I just don't know what came over me.” you sat on the bed covering your face with your hands.

 “I know babe but you gotta be careful. It's a secret you chose to hatch it down in the darkest corner of your heart, can't let it spill unless you want it otherwise ."

 You went and hugged her tightly tears rolling down your eyes

 "What would I do without you" you sobbed

 "You'll always have me by your side darling, okay now cheer up and let's get ready.”

............................

You all came out of the house. Two cars were already parked outside. You immediately ran towards Harrison's car.

“I'm taking the front seat"You opened the door and sat.

Harrison, Zendaya, Harry and Paddy sat on the back seats

“Who's gonna drive?” you asked confused

Then you saw Tom with the car keys as he opened the door and you both momentarily glanced at each other as he sat on the driver's seat.

You divert your attention outside the window as you feel a tension arise between you two.

 As Tom drove the car an eerie silence prevailed. It started to get kinda boring so to lighten up the mood you turned on the car's stereo and connected your phone.

 Cheap thrill starts playing

 (Come on, come on, turn the radio on

It's Friday night and I won't be long Gotta do my hair, put my make up on It's Friday night and I won't be long)

 Everyone cheered and started grooving to the music.

 ('Til I hit the dance floor

Hit the dance floor I got all I need No, I ain't got cash I ain't got cash But I got you, baby)

 Turning a little to your side you took out your phone and started recording everyone singing and grooving. Tom occasionally glanced at you.

 (Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

(I love cheap thrills) Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight (I love cheap thrills) But I don't need no money As long as I can feel the beat I don't need no money As long as I keep dancing)

 Unbuckling your seat belt so you got up and kneeled on your seat facing backwards. As you all continued lip syncing loudly and vibing in the car. Tom kept his straight face all the time.

 (Come on, come on, turn the radio on

It's Saturday and I won't be long Gotta paint my nails, put my high heels on It's Saturday and I won't be long)

'Til I hit the dance floor Hit the dance floor I got all I need No, I ain't got cash

I ain't got cash But I got you, baby)

 A sharp turn came as you all jolted to the right side. You almost lost balance, one hand holding tightly on the head rest of your seat and another grasping on Tom's shoulder. He held your hand tightly to prevent you from losing balance, giving you a stern look. You knew that look very well, he used to give you that look when you were being a brat. You felt a little intimidated and straightened yourself and sat properly again.

 (Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

(I love cheap thrills) Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight (I love cheap thrills) But I don't need no money As long as I can feel the beat I don't need no money As long as I keep dancing

I don't need no money As long as I…….. Song continues

 Reaching the carnival you were overcome with nostalgia so many sweet memories you had of this place. Everyone got out of the cars and went in different directions. Out of habit you waited for Tom to park the car and then go inside. When you both entered the carnival ground none of your friends could be seen.

 “Guess what our friends ditched us” you pressed your lips together frowning

“I guess so." Tom twisted his lips looking around then turning back to you

"Okay, stay right here I’ll be back in a minute”

“But.. but why? Where are you going now?” you asked confused, tom trailed off in the crowd.

“Huh!” you scowled “am I so bad that he hates to spend a little time with me” you thought. You looked around and thought going into the stalls checking out the stuff. You eventually went when a sparkly pair of earrings caught your eyes. Taking it in your hands you placed them in front of your ears checking in the mirror if they look nice or not.

“I told you to stay right?” you heard Tom say from the back.

“I'm literally near the spot you left me.” You tried to reason.

“Okay here take this.” He handed you a grilled corn. Your face instantly lit up  

“Hey thanks.”  You cheerfully bite into the corn.

 Tom hadn't noticed earlier but now when he saw you carefully your necklace caught his eye it's the same black dahlia necklace he gifted you after filming far from home. A smile crept on his face at the fact that after so many years you had kept it.

You looked up to find him smiling at you “What?” You asked

“Nothing” he shook his head.

It didn't escape Tom's eyes the way you were staring at those sparkly earrings and he instantly knew you wanted them but you were confused if it would be worth buying.

 "You like them?"

 “Huh? Oh no just looking" you shrugged off

 “Oh don't lie to me I know how much of a fetish you have for earrings"

 He immediately asked the seller to pack those for you as he took out his wallet to pay.

 “You know I can pay for myself” you commented

 He grinned "Oh don't worry you can pay me back later by cash or you know by the kindness of your pretty little"

 “You finish that line and I’m gonna kick you in your balls Thomas” you were so done with his snarky comments; you were fuming as you stomped away from him.

 "Hey Y/N! Wait for me!" You picked up your pace. Tom ran to catch up with you. He stood in front of you blocking your way.

 “Here you go" he handed you the small gift bag.

“In no circumstance I'm taking that" crossing your hands and turning your face away annoyed  

“Hey, hey listen” he tried to hold your hands stepping closer.

“Don't touch me” you swatted him away

“Okay feisty pants, calm down” he stepped back raising his hand in the air in defeat.

"Oh come on Y/N I was just joking I'm sorry. Here take this. Pleaaase" he pouted.

"Go and give that to El I’m sure she will pay you back nicely like she did last night." You taunted.

"I don’t switch gifts meant for someone else moreover El isn't much of a fan of my gifts she says my taste is like an old man. She would totally figure out I did’t choose these."

“That’s true you are an old man.” corner of your mouth quirked up. Tom stretched his hand to give you the bag you took it lazily.

“Are we cool now?”

“Yeah sort of.” You gave a half shrug.

“Let's do something like old times then shall we?” Tom proposed

“Yeah fine by me anyways our best friends have ditched us so we are stuck with each other.”

You both went to try out different rides in the carnival. You enjoyed the roller coaster the most. After the ride you both sat down on a nearby bench to rest. Meanwhile you were deciding what to do next.

 “Wanna have some ice cream?” Tom offered

“Have you ever heard me saying no to ice cream?”you smirked

“Okay wait and don't go anywhere this time.” He disappeared in the crowd. You sat on the bench scrolling through your phone.

“Boo!!” Tom grabbed your shoulders from the back. You were startled, almost dropping your phone .

“God! You scared me” you gasped

He chuckled “here you go darling" he handed you your ice cream. Your heart swelled up by the fact that he still remembered your favorite flavour combo by heart one scoop of chocolate and cookies & cream with lots of extra choco chips.

You both started walking, licking on to your ice creams, your bodies brushed against each other occasionally as you both glanced into the stalls. Tom carefully watched you, the way you licked the ice cream made his mind wander to inappropriate places making him smile internally. You both were passing in front of a gaming stall.

 "Wanna win something for your girl?" the owner of the stall threw the question towards Tom.

 “Oh no he has a very bad aim” you tried to get away from there as you always thought these games are just a waste of money.

 “What! I can aim." Tom retorted widening his eyes.

 “No you can't" you argued "And these games are rigged you know that very well Tom" you muttered in his ears.

 "What do you want babe?”

“Babe?? " you gave him a puzzled look.

“Just tell me.”

“Okay that big bunny which you always failed to get to me.” You challenged him.

Tom paid the money he had three chances to throw the ring on the small replica of bunny.

“After you lose don’t tell me I didn’t warn you” you quipped

“Yeah, yeah will see that. And if I win, what is my reward?”

“Of course the big bunny that’s what you paid for, idiot” you grinned.

In the first throw he completely missed it.

"See! I told you it was a waste of money" you complained

"Oh! Y/N just let me concentrate" he huffed

The second throw was almost close, you both groaned frustrated. The third throw was a kind of prestige fight for Tom because he knew you were gonna mock him all his life if he loses. You on the other hand were tense crossing your fingers you wished he would win. Tom threw the ring and it went in the exact spot you both cheered, throwing your hands up in the air and hugged each other tightly. Pulling away soon but you felt a slight pull as you noticed the chain of your necklace had tangled with his spider man necklace. Tom struggled to untangle it, you swatted his hand.

"Stop pulling it dumbo, you are going to break the necklace" you grumbled

Tom felt warmth filling his heart seeing you so possessive about the necklace.You stepped closer and slowly tried untying the knot. Both of your breath hitched. After a few seconds you untangled your chains. The seller handed Tom the stuffed bunny.

“Here you go princess” Tom handed it over to you.

“Thanks.” You took it hugging it tightly. You were now more comfortable with each other giggling and laughing in each other's company. Anybody could mistake you both as a lovely couple. Unknowingly you were now holding hands and walking across the carnival.

“Picture for the beautiful couple?" a photographer from a photo studio chirped around from the corner.

“Oh no no we are not..” Tom cut you off

“Yeah sure why not”

“But tom..”

“Come on Y/N it will be fun”

You reluctantly went inside the studio and tried different costumes. You both posed and clicked some silly photos of yourselves.

Finally you caught sight of the rest of your gang, both of you rushed to them still holding hands.

“Hey where were you guys?” you asked

“Hey aah..” Zendaya stopped halfway to look at you, your hand hooked on to Tom’s arm furrowing, her eyes all skeptical.

You both followed her gaze as you realised, you leave each other's hands feeling awkward looking away.

“So what's with the bunny?”

“Oh it's for El Tom won it as a souvenir for her as she couldn't make it.” You lied.

“You guys wanna go on the Ferris wheel? it will be fun to watch the fireworks from up there”

“Nah we are good down here plus we are hungry.”

“Okay then we are going for the Ferris wheel. Will meet you at the parking lot after that.”

You queued up and waited for your turn to buy the tickets. You turned back a little girl caught your attention, she was glancing at you both mostly Tom curiously with her doe eyes. You thought she must have recognised Tom. Tom looked back too. He waved his hand towards her with a smile.

She tugged on her mother’s dress and whispered.

“Mommy, look spider-man” her mother turned her gaze towards you and gave out a light shriek

“Oh my god! Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N!! I’m a huge fan of both of you”

You both smiled.

"I'm Claudia nice to meet you"

“Hello.. nice to meet you too” you both greeted the lady

“Where���s MJ? Are you spider-man’s new girlfriend?” the little girl chirped. You and Tom looked at each other chuckling.

“Ssshh!! Don’t tell MJ” you joked. The little girl frowned. You crouched in front of her as you caressed her cheek.

“I'm kidding honey I’m not spider man's new girlfriend I’m his best friend. What’s your name little miss?”

“Vienna”

“That’s a beautiful name Vienna”

“You are so big but you still play with bunnies?” she asked you innocently

Tom stifled a laugh hearing that. You looked at him narrowing your eyes.

“No one is too old for bunnies honey. And this was given to me by someone I love so can’t throw it away can I?" Vienna nodded in approval. You glanced up to Tom.

“Can we take a selfie?” Claudia asked

“Yeah sure why not?” Tom picked up Vienna in his arms as you all cuddled close to take a selfie.

“I heard you are going to perform, is it true?”

“Yes I’m.” You confirmed

“Great!!! Looking forward to attending your concert.”

“I’ll be eager to see you guys in the audience”

"Hey Y/N! come here it's our turn." You heard Tom calling you

"Okay see you guys in the concert bye. Bye Vienna."

Tom had already bought the tickets while you were talking. You got up in your cabin. Sitting close to each other shoulders brushing in the cramped space, it was nothing new though for you two but now the circumstances have changed. The wheel rotated for a couple of times and then it halted as the fireworks were about to begin. Your cabin was at the top so you could get the best view.

“You did this?” you quirked your eyebrow

“Nothing a little extra tip can’t do” he winked. “Wait a minute, it's gonna get better.” He took out his phone and played one of your favorite songs which both of you used to hear.

Perfect starts playing

(I found a love for me Darling, just dive right in And follow my lead Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet I never knew you were the someone waiting for me)

“It feels as if we are teenagers again.” You giggled

The fireworks began as you looked up in the sky in awe. Tom was looking at you the whole time. He had missed your heart warming smile all these years and he felt happy that he was the reason behind your smile. You turned to him to find him already gazing at you with his soft brown eyes.

“I really missed this you know” you gave a tight lipped smile.

“You like it?” he asked softly

“I like it?! I love it!!!” You said excitedly

('Cause we were just kids when we fell in love Not knowing what it was I will not give you up this time Darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own And in your eyes, you're holding mine)

Tom's eyes never left you. You cuddled close leaning on his chest to look at the fireworks show his hand around your shoulder. He felt heat rushing to his ears his chest pounding as he leaned his head above yours to look up at the colourful night sky.

(Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, we're listenin' to our favorite song When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight)

You felt butterflies in your stomach under his gaze so you straightened yourself looking at him timidly. The atmosphere felt heavy as both of you felt a strong magnetic pull luring both of you. Your body was slightly turned towards him. Your hair blowing in the gentle night breeze.

(Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets To carry love, to carry children of our own)

He himself turned a little facing you, his hands slipped down to rest on your hips as he drew you in. His warm breath falling on your face. He gently brushed away the hair falling on your face tugging it behind your ear and rested his hand on the side of your face caressing your cheek with his thumb. Both lost in each other's eyes. You gazed into his warm brown eyes which were full of love. His eyes flickered between your eyes and to your slightly parted lips. Your faces were just a few millimetres apart, warmth blossomed in your chest, sparks igniting as Tom leaned in close, lips brushing together.

(We are still kids, but we're so in love Fightin' against all odds I know we'll be alright this time Darling, just hold my hand Be my girl, I'll be your man I see my future in your eyes)

Tom pulled you close, deepening the kiss your lips were soft he could taste the chocolate ice cream you had on your lips. You shivered and let out a soft moan. To your surprise you were kissing him back, you felt his warm mouth on yours and closed your eyes, your hands subconsciously went around his neck tugging on to his soft curls. He groaned into the kiss.

(Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, listenin' to our favorite song When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight)

A strong passion taking over both of you as you frantically kissed each other. Like the first drops of rain brings relief to a rain deprived parched land you both felt the same way, an euphoric bliss, as if you were thirsty for ages and finally the thirst is being quenched. A million emotions of love, lust, desire surged in your bodies. Neither of you wanted to stop, you just wanted to savour this moment.

(Oh, no, no Mm

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, we're listenin' to our favorite song I have faith in what I see Now I know I have met an angel in person And she looks perfect No, I don't deserve this You look perfect tonight)

 The world seemed oblivious for both of you. Both were brought back to your senses when the wheel started to move again. You slowly broke the kiss still in a haze. Your foreheads resting against each other as you both were gasping for air. You looked into his eyes, a panic strike both of you, you immediately pulled away trying to avoid each other's gaze as you looked over the illuminated town. Part of your mind felt so good and didn't want it to end but the other part reminded you constantly that whatever happened was so wrong. The cabin descended down your heart still beating at an alarming rate you tried to calm yourself placing a hand on your chest. The cabin squeaked as it halted, Tom bent low to squeeze out through the small door of the cabin. Wordlessly, he helped you step out of it. It was time to go back so you started walking back to the parking lot. Not a word was spoken between you two throughout the whole walk.

“Oh the love birds are finally back.” Harry joked

Your heartbeat quickened at his remark as you gave a death glare to him.

“Okay sorry, sorry my bad.”

“Haz can you sit in the front? I want to sit with Z at the back.” You almost begged.

“Yeah sure no problem love.”

You sat silently. Tom looked at you through the rear view mirror as he started the car.

“What happened? You look all flushed out are you okay? Zendaya asked concerned

“Did you guys fight over there or what?” Harrison asked, rolling his eyes.

“No nothing like that, just tired actually.The rides were really fun.”

So let's continue the fun. Harrison turned on the car stereo and played from his Playlist.

 Break My Heart starts playing...

(I've always been the one to say the first goodbye Had to love and lose a hundred million times Had to get it wrong to know just what I like Now I'm fallin')

Everyone started singing. Zendaya nudged you a little, giving you a questioning look, you nodded your head to assure her everything was okay , smiling and joined them.

(You say my name like I have never heard before I'm indecisive but this time I know for sure I hope I'm not the only one that feels it all Are you fallin'?)

You glanced at Tom through the rear view mirror pressing your lips together in a thin line. You had a lot of questions in your mind. You wanted to ask Tom why? Why did you do that? What does this mean to you Tom? Why couldn’t you control yourself from giving into the kiss?

(Center of attention You know you can get whatever you want from me Whenever you want it, baby It's you in my reflection Now I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me If I would've known it, baby)

The air felt suffocating, your throat felt dry as you were sweating. Your mind kept drifting to that heated moment on the Ferris wheel, subconsciously nibbling your lower lip. The whole incident was wrecking your mind.

(I would've stayed at home 'Cause I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart? Oh no, I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart?)

 You now seriously regret coming here; you really should have stayed at home you thought. That face, that damn face will be the death of you one day, it makes you go weak on your knees. You can't be falling in for him again when you know that a heart break is inevitable.

 (I wonder when you go, if I stay on your mind

Two can play that game, but you win me every time Everyone before you was a waste of time Yeah, you got me)

 Tom himself was having a hard time to concentrate on driving his hands all sweaty. You were all on his mind. As he looks at you through the mirror his eyes instantly goes to your plump rosy lips which he was sucking a few moments ago as if his life depends on it. He just wanted to pull you around a corner and feel your soft lips again.

 (Center of attention

You know you can get whatever you want from me

Whenever you want it, baby

It's you in my reflection Now I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me)

This time you caught him staring at you a chill ran down your spine. He immediately looked away face turning red; heat crept up your cheeks turning pink.

(If I would've known it, baby

I would've stayed at home 'Cause I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart? Oh no, I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart?)

.......... Song continues

 As you reached home you waited for everyone to get out of the car and go inside.

“Here take this.” You handed out the stuffed bunny to Tom

“It's for you love not for El and you know that very well.”

“Hmm” you hummed looking into his eyes, many unsaid words were spoken.

You both went up the stairs. Standing in front of your rooms you glanced at each other for one last time and went inside.

“I thought that was for El.” Zendaya pointed out at the stuffed toy.

“Yeah I'll give it to her tomorrow.”

“Now you are going to lie to me too" Zendaya scoffed

"I know it is for you. Mind telling me what's going on between you two?”

“Nothing, nothing is going on. Wha.. What makes you think that? You stammered

“Nothing, just you have been acting strange through the whole ride back home.” Zendaya frowned; she knew something was up with you two.

“Oh I must be tired that's why I guess.” You let out fake yawn.

The night was going to be long for you and Tom as you were still hot and bothered needing some sort of relief but none of you are going to get it tonight.

.....................................................................

Taglists: to be added send a message or ask I'll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

@sleepybesson @sophs-library @spideyparkerstark  @itstaskeen @milli86 @biebsmylife95 @quaksonhehe @hannahholland1811  @awhollandx @joyleenl@itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpoei @astridcomming

[catrasredemption-moved]

I searched but I don't think you've gotten this prompt before: Adora and Catra having their first fight since Prime's death, and having to deal with/resolve this in a healthy way this time?

((even if I had, there’s a million ways to write one story))

Tale as old as time. Adora was overprotective, Catra hated feeling like Adora was trying to look after her or didn’t believe she was capable of accomplishing something. And to be entirely fair, they were both doing better, working on their separate issues and trying to talk more instead of letting resentment build.

But it had been a long week of rebuilding Salineas. They hadn’t even been back to Bright Moon - they slept in borrowed beds in Mermista’s palace, and went straight back to work as soon as the sun rose. Catra had been particularly gung ho, and no one had asked why. Sometimes it was better to just let her go. But Salineas was personal in more ways than one. Catra had done her best to work out of the public eye, spending a frankly obscene amount of time putting the Sea Gate back together.

That didn’t earn her any points with the citizens who had lost their homes to the Horde and remembered her standing over their burning city, though.

“Get out, Horde Scum!”

Adora was a street over when she heard the man yelling. There were a few former Horde soldiers working in Salineas, but most of them could run under the radar.

“You gonna let me rebuild this house or what, man?”

Catra had been on her best behavior and bit her tongue, but it was late, she’d hurt herself earlier and refused to stopped, and now, Adora saw as she turned the corner down the street, an old man was harassing her.

“Who let you back in this kingdom? You should be rotting in a dungeon!”

“Take it up with the queen,” Catra muttered, yanking her arm from the man’s grip. “I’m doing community service.”

The man snarled, shoving her. “No one here wants your help, Horde Scum.”

“Hey.” Adora stepped between them, fixing the man with a firm glare. “She’s trying to fix your kingdom. Back off.”

The man glared back, but no one was going to argue with She-Ra. He muttered under his breath before storming away. Adora turned back to Catra to smile and ask if she was okay, but was met by an even darker glare.

“I didn’t need your help.”

Adora bit her lip, trying to bite down an annoyed huff. Catra had gotten hurt and it didn’t sound like she was having a great day with people.

“I know. I’m sorry, it just bugs me when people are jerks to you.”

Catra relaxed just a little bit. “It’s fine, it’s not like they can hurt me. Nothing they say be any worse than Shadow Weaver.”

“Pretty low bar.” That got Adora a smile, so she took a chance, holding out a hand. Catra smiled faintly, taking the offer and letting Adora pull her into a kiss.

“Have you taken a break? We should get something to eat.”

“Nah, that old pain in the ass is hanging around to see if I walk away so he can give me shit. I’ll find you for food later.”

“Okay,” Adora said with a small pout, kissing her forehead. “Don’t work too hard.”

“Me? I would never.”

Adora did her best not to roll her eyes, but she was smiling as she walked away.

Catra did not find her for a break. Adora hoped Bow or maybe Mermista had grabbed her and made her take a break (Mermista had very pointedly said nothing when Adora had mentioned Catra’s tendencies to work herself half to death, but Catra had also told Adora a few days later that Mermista had walked up to her and shoved a sandwich into her hands and walked away), but a quick check in with both revealed they hadn’t seen her since they had doled out assignments that morning. She also wasn’t in their shared room when Adora checked.

Instead, she found her back at the same house the man had confronted her in front of earlier.

“Catra,” Adora called warily, stepping closer. “It’s late. Let’s get some rest.”

“Just let me finish-”

“You’ve been working all day, and you’re limping. You can finish in the morning.”

“I’m fine.”

Adora hesitated before steeling herself and stepping forward. “No, you’re not. Look, I get it, that guy got under your skin, but you can’t work yourself into the ground-”

“Adora, I’m fine, just leave it!”

That had been a chance, and Adora knew it. She still didn’t like it when Catra snapped. “I’m not leaving it, now will you stop being stubborn and just listen to me?!”

“Why can’t you listen to me?” Catra whirled to glare at her. “I said I’m fine!”

“Right.” The sarcasm was heavy in Adora’s voice. “You look completely fine. You’re the only one still working, and I know you haven’t taken a break. Stop being stupid.”

“Oh, so now I’m stupid?”

“You’re acting stupid, yeah!”

“I’m just trying to get work done!”

“So what, you’re going to work yourself to death?”

“What do you care? It’s none of your business!”

Adora spluttered for a moment, mouth opening and closing a few times before she snapped, “You know what, fine! I don’t care!”

She turned on her heal and stormed away without a word. Catra didn’t stop her.

She had made it all the way back to their room before she started to feel bad. Damn it. They were supposed to be working on things like this - getting mad and yelling and walking away. This was the first real fight they’d had since defeating Pride, but even just talking through their snip attacks was important.

And they had completely fallen down on this one.

Adora sagged onto the bed, burying her face in her hands. She needed to go back, she needed to go back, but now Catra was going to be defensive and angry and probably refuse to come back at all...

The door opened right as the thought crossed Adora’s mind; she looked up, surprised, to see Catra limping into the room. She stood, saying, “Hey, I’m-”

“I’m sor-”

They both paused, staring at each other. “I’m sorry,” Catra finally said. “You’re right. I was being stupid.”

“I’m sorry I said that,” Adora said quietly, reaching out. “Will you... please sit? And let me look at that leg?”

Catra nodded, letting Adora take her and help her to the bed. “Why’ve you been pushing yourself so much?”

“Come on Adora, you know why.”

“Say it anyway.”

Catra sighed, scrubbing her eyes. “Because it’s Salineas. And this is my fault.”

“Did you personally rip every single building down?”

“Adora.”

“You know what I mean. This isn’t all on you. And you’re not responsible for fixing everything.”

Catra glared weakly. “That’s my line to you.”

“And I stole it.” Adora smirked a little. “Whatcha gonna do about it?”

Catra poked her forehead, but didn’t fight otherwise as Adora gently probed her leg, wincing when Adora found the strained muscles. “You shouldn’t have been working all day.”

“I... that guy just wound me up,” Catra mumbled. “I was thinking about stopping to take a break, but I kept hearing him and just... wanting to finish to rub it in his face.” Her shoulders hunched, eyes squeezing shut. “But he’s right. They don’t need my help.”

“Yeah, you only rebuilt most of the sea gate by yourself, no big deal.” Adora stood, pressing a kiss to Catra’s forehead and going to make a heating pad. “People are always going to be angry.”

“I know. I know. He just got to me.” Adora sat with Catra again, resting the pad on Catra’s leg. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I said you were acting stupid.”

“I was.” Adora flicked her forehead. “Ow! What was that for?”

“Insulting yourself. It doesn’t help anything, remember?”

Catra rubbed her forehead, scowling. “Fine. I’m sorry I ditched you for lunch.”

“That I will accept an apology for.” Adora kissed her forehead. “Will you take tomorrow off?”

“Ugh... fine. Only if you do.”

That was a dirty move. Adora pouted, but finally nodded. “Fine.”

Catra grinned, kissing Adora’s cheek.

Communication. It was something they were working on.

[joysbell]

The One with the Snowstorm: Part III

Go back: PART I  /// PART II

PART III

Cassian had apologized to her. He had whispered words against his High Lord and Feyre. Nesta clearly saw the sincerity in his eyes, and it shook her. Enough so that she had spoken, emerging from her self-imposed cocoon of silence.

For a moment Nesta was not empty. Sorrow and resentment swirled together inside her, and silver lined her eyes. Feeling something for the first time in weeks was overwhelming, but Nesta did not want to show Cassian any feeble emotions. She wanted to remain unyielding; yet, his confession was touching her, as if a light hand caressed her arm only to soothe.

He was supporting her. Something very few people had ever done. So Nesta decided to continue their conversation. An exploration of sorts, to see where it would go. And in doing so she would control and forget the feelings that had arisen.

“Where exactly do you plan to sleep tonight?” Nesta asked, intensely crossing her arms.

Cassian had finished eating. He put his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. “Where do you want me to sleep, sweetheart?”

Nesta titled her head. “Outside. I’m sure there is a cave you could find.”

“A cave? What do you think I am—?”

“A bat. A lowborn bat. Go hang somewhere.” Oh, that would make his blood boil.

Cassian immediately ignited as he bucked and leaned forward, splaying both hands down flat on the table. “You ‘wanna play, Nesta? You are so saucy all the sudden. I suppose you have been banking insults for me all these months.”

“I suppose you will be sleeping on the couch,” she said, ignoring his taunt.

“Not on that rancid thing. I will sleep on the floor next to the fire. The bearskin rug will do.” Cassian stood and picked up his plate, and then Nesta’s. Usually the cook did not clean up the dishes, but he suspected Nesta was not going to help him. And he was right. Nesta moved back to her couch as he washed the remnants of his rabbit stew.

“What is wrong with my couch?” She asked, even though Nesta knew exactly why he did not like it.

“You know it smells of wine and males and filth. Get a new one,” Cassian grouched. The alcohol was one thing, but the men—that bothered him more than anything. To think about how many males Nesta had been with—he did not dare ask, and he did not want to know the answer.

“And where am I supposed to get a couch here, in the mountains?”

“I will get you whatever you want,” Cassian said simply, quietly.

Nesta said nothing, and she knew he meant it. He would get her anything.

Looking down beside her she spied a brown stain on the piece of furniture. Whatever it was did make her nose crinkle, a little. Maybe it was time to get rid of the thing. But accepting his offer seemed too… intimate. Cassian had never given her anything. Even when he had tried to give her a present Nesta had refused flat out.

But tonight, he had made her stew—which she had not eaten. Nesta’s stomach suddenly betrayed her and Cassian glanced in her direction, a pair of knowing eyes bore into her. The grumble was loud in the small cabin, with no noise aside from the fire. She turned away from him and returned to staring at the stain on her couch.

Nesta’s mind began to wander, and she compared herself to the general in her kitchen. His body was healthy and hers was practically rotting. Remembering how he moved on the battlefield, twisting, and striking, flying to kill, landing as the ground quaked beneath him… He still looked like a remnant of the Gods themselves. And he knew it, the bastard.

What did Cassian see when he looked at her now? More importantly, did she care?

Why was she even thinking about Cassian’s body right now? Why was she thinking about her own?

What Nesta still had was wit, and that was all she needed. Yes, wit and an unknown power she was terrified to unleash. Her body could remain a slip.

Then Nesta noticed Cassian was still staring at her and she felt exposed, like she was completely naked and displayed before him. She sensed that Cassian could read her every thought, and she wanted to run to the bedroom and slam the door shut. She wanted to lock him and that look he gave her out.

Nesta’s head felt like a ball of glass, and a finger was gently tapping, trying to get in, somehow… Stop. She wanted it to stop.

“What are you doing?” Nesta asked him, viciously.

“I’m not doing anything,” Cassian said.

“Then what are you thinking?” Nesta asked, the words escaped her mouth so quickly before she could process the private question she had asked. Instantly she felt the regret swell within her.

To his credit, Cassian did not falter. “I am thinking about how your stomach just growled. I am also thinking about how I need to go out into the snow to get more firewood because you did not bring in enough. And lastly, I am thinking about how I would like to sleep naked on that bearskin rug tonight, but I should not because I would probably wake up without my balls if you caught me.” A smirk, and he was moving toward the door. “I’ll be back. I’m getting more firewood.”

And then Cassian was gone into the snowstorm, a black form moving into a white world.

# # #

The snow pounded against his wings. There was hale, and every piece that hit him felt like a little knife. He silently cursed Nesta for not getting enough firewood. Who only brought in a couple logs for the night? A woman who was not going to keep the fire going, that’s who… How did she survive in this weather? Nesta must curl up under five blankets to stay even remotely warm.

Cassian could imagine her shivering, wasting away under layers of quilts. Broken sleep all day and night. It made him sick with guilt, that he had not done anything yet. It was battle—to give Nesta the space to sort things out—or to persuade her to start taking care of herself? Cassian did not know what was right. And he was not going to listen to his friends this time. No, when it came to Nesta, Cassian decided he needed to figure things out for himself.

Hearing her voice gave him hope. She was now speaking to him. Even though her tongue was wicked—he loved it. If he would listen to his instincts, he would grab her, kiss her wildly, bow before her and proclaim that he would worship, bed her, and be the last man that ever touched her.

The snow brought him back to reality quickly. Practically burying him as he walked to the back of the cabin. He would have to blow a path through with his siphons—Nesta had not shoveled, and there would be no mobility here soon. The door would become barricaded, and that was one of the most dangerous things Cassian could think of. So, as he walked, he blasted snow in front of him, making his way toward the firewood.

He grabbed as many logs as he could carry, and weaved his way back threw the paths he had made. Upon entering the cabin, he shook—Nesta probably thought he was a dog—to get all the snow off him and his wings.

“Do you have a towel?” He asked, “I’m kind of wet.” The snow was melting, and now he was a sopping mess. Puddles on the floor surrounded him.

Nesta seemed to be annoyed, as if he could have gone out in the snowstorm without getting wrecked by it. But she went to get him a towel, anyway, and thew it at him as she came close.

“Thanks,” he muttered, catching the cloth. As he dried his hair, Cassian began to think about why Nesta questioned his thoughts.

Nesta turned away.

“Why did you ask me what I was thinking?” Cassian asked.

“Because you were staring at me,” she spat.

“Is looking at you a crime? If it is, blindfold me,” he winked.

He watched the slender woman before him roll her eyes. For a moment Cassian wondered if she would rather pluck his eyes out.

“What are you thinking? It’s only fair.”

“I am thinking if I find you naked on that rug tomorrow you will lose more than your balls.”

Cassian threw back his head in laughter. “At least we are on the same page, then. I am going to change out of these clothes,” he said, before grabbing some fresh things to wear from the leather bag he had brought. “Try not to peek.”

“Shut the door behind you,” Nesta snapped.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

# # #

Hi! Slow burn is cool, right? Let me know if you want to be tagged : D 

Tags: @thebluemartini  @hizqueen4life  @sjm-things @superspiritfestival

[barrysjumpsuit]

blindsided - oc (barry’s sister) x rafe cameron (ch. 4)

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, masterlist

word count: 4.1k oops

warnings: cigarettes, cannabis use, cocaine use, underage drinking, verbal abuse, some physical abuse, mentions of suicide/death/overdose

synopsis:  christy is a lifelong resident of the outer banks. after a series of hookups with rafe cameron, kook royalty, she’s smitten. what she doesn’t know is about what her boyfriend and brother are involved in behind her back

a/n: there’s some touchy subjects here. i don’t advocate for coping with any mental issues in ways i present here. help is out there, please reach out to me if you need help or want to chat about anything. i’m here for you.

probably 2-3 more chapters after this one. it starts to get good here (imo) so read on for soft barry and topper and ✨hungover rafe✨ 😌

------

“What’s up?” Christy asked hesitantly. She stopped a safe distance away from her brother. Every hair on her body was standing on end, as if she had goosebumps despite the humid summer air. 

“Nothing, Chris, chill,” Barry said, laughing. “Get over here.” 

“Why’d you call me?” she asked, not moving from her spot in the dry grass. 

“I just… wanted to apologize is all,” Barry said. It wasn’t a Barry thing to say, but she could tell he was being genuine, and she took a few steps towards him as he continued. “Country club ain’t all that bad, I guess.” 

“Why this sudden change in heart?” Christy asked, sitting down next to her brother on the discolored couch. 

“Well, you see,” he started, his hand sneaking down to her pocket to pull out the pack of cigarettes she always kept there. He held one between his lips as he lit it, his words muffled as he tried to speak. “I thought about it, and…” 

Barry trailed off as he inhaled. Christy took a cigarette out of the carton and lit it as Barry continued. 

“...he fucked me over, sure. But hey. I also fucked him over. Not to mention you’re fuckin him and he’s fuckin you. That’s a whole lot of fuckin. We ain’t going to fix any of our problems by hatin’ each other now, are we?” 

“Fuck, Barry, did you smoke some of my weed?” Christy asked jokingly, her elbow resting on her knee, the cigarette inches from her lips. 

“Ay, let me finish,” Barry said, grinning at her. “So I was thinkin’. ‘Forget and forgive’, isn’t that what they say?” 

“It’s actually ‘forgive and forget’,” Christy said. “How much of my weed you smoke? You owe me, you know I’m almost out.” 

“Fuckin’ whatever, man. Point is, we’re good now, right?” he slung an arm around her shoulders, using the other to take another hit of the cigarette. “And I ain’t smoke any of your weed, sis.” 

Christy studied her brother. By this time in the afternoon, he would usually be higher than a kite. If he was out, he wouldn’t be elated like he was now. He would be pissed. 

“Did you sell of your blow?” Christy asked. 

“You’re one smart cookie,” Barry said, his grin only growing wider. 

“You’re fucking kidding me, Barry!” she felt all her worries dissolve away at once. She laid her head against her brother’s shoulder, and with the hand that laid behind her, he grabbed her shoulder. 

“We’re gonna be okay, Chris. We’ll be fine for a while, at least until I can get more. We’ll be able to pay for the storm damage, to spruce things up around here,” he said, leaning his head on hers. They sat like that until they finished their cigarettes, and then, they smoked another. 

“To celebrate,” Barry reasoned, and Christy didn’t argue. They tapped their cigarettes together in a cheers, before resuming their silence. 

They sat there for a long time. A buzzing interrupted them from whatever thoughts were occupying their brains. After pulling her phone from her pocket, she stood and walked down towards the dock, away from Barry once she saw it was Rafe calling. 

“Hey, baby,” Rafe said. “I just figured I’d call and say hey.” 

“I was wondering where you were, I’m sorry I didn’t get to say good bye this morning, I didn’t want to wake you.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Rafe said. “Hey, I was wondering if it’s okay if we not go out tonight? I’ve got to help my dad with something.” 

“Yeah, yeah. No worries,” Christy said, sitting down on the end of the dock, on the side opposite of the boat. She played with an old rope tied to the boat tie as she talked. “I had a long day at work anyway, I should tend to my plants and run errands and all that.” 

“Get some rest, babe, don’t run errands. Just stay home, alright?” Rafe was saying on the other end of the line. She could hear some rustling in the background. “I’ll order you and your brother pizza. Maybe that’ll make him like me better.” 

“Funny you mention that,” she started. She briefly glanced up, seeing Barry laying on the couch. “He said he’s forgiven you. I don’t know what that’s about, but I’m going with it?” 

“Really?” his surprised voice came from her speaker. “Well, that’s good.” 

“Yeah,” Christy said, smiling to herself. 

“You need anything? I can run it by before my dad needs me,” Rafe said, but Christy shook her head even though he couldn’t see her.

“I think I’m good. Thanks, babe.” 

“No problem. I love you, have a relaxing night, okay?” 

“Will do. Good luck with your dad. I love you too.” 

Rafe was the first to hang up. Christy set her phone on the dock beside her, enjoying the breeze blowing off the sound. She was hot all day at work, and now being out in the heat and humidity didn’t help. She stood, slipping out of her shirt and work jeans, and jumped into the water. 

It was cool and refreshing. Swimming over to the dock, she hauled herself out of the sea and back to where she was previously sitting. Now, the breeze worked to chill her. 

Christy laid down to close her eyes, and for a while, just existed. She thought of Rafe, and how free he made her feel. She thought of the older couple from The Wreck that day, and how she wanted something like they had. She even thought about Barry, and the hole they had gotten themselves stuck in, that they were now about to climb out of. 

What would her mother say? Christy liked to think that she would have liked Rafe. She hoped she would have been proud of how hard Christy worked to support herself and her brother, and how they’ve been hanging on so far. 

“Hey Chris!” Barry’s voice called an hour or so later. Christy opened her eyes. The sun was getting low on the horizon, the water of the sound glittering under it and the silhouettes of the gulls standing out against the sky. Their boat rocked gently on the waves, and she could feel the slight bobbing of the dock underneath her. 

Christy didn’t bother putting her clothes back on, so she picked them up and walked barefoot down the dock and up to the trailer. 

Rafe had ordered them pizza for dinner. She smiled softly to herself as she sat down next to her brother at the old, worn and rotting picnic table that had occupied the yard for as long as she could remember. 

As the sun started setting, she went inside and grabbed her sunset pipe and packed it full, before walking to the end of the dock and lighting up.

---

Not much happened the next few days. Christy worked every morning, having her afternoon and evenings open. The afternoons she spent with Rafe and his friends, but he usually went off on his own in the evenings.

Early one morning, while it was still dark, Christy woke up to find Rafe in bed with her. He was fast asleep, slightly disheveled, laying on his stomach. His face was pressed against her pillow, and his hair was uncharacteristically messy and tousled in every which way. 

She rolled towards him. Every time he softly exhaled, she could smell some sort of fruity liquor in his breath. Pulling the thin sheet back up over them - that was all she could bear in the heat of the summer - she slept off and on until dawn broke through her east-facing window. 

Rafe stirred right as she was about to get ready for work. He visibly started at the realization he wasn’t in his own bed – a stray hand found Christy’s arm and gently grabbed onto it. 

“Morning, sunshine,” she said, and Rafe only groaned in response, turning his face away from the sun and plunging it into the pillow. 

At that, Christy stood. She wore just an oversized t-shirt with nothing underneath. Rafe had let her do laundry at his house, so she pulled clean underwear and clothes from the laundry basket that sat on her floor beside her plants. 

“How’d I get here?” she heard Rafe asked as she put on a bra. 

“Beats me, all I know is I woke up at three or four and you were here.” Rafe groaned again and he pushed himself up to sit. “There’s a trash can to your right.” 

At that, Rafe doubled over, just able to find the trash can before vomiting. Christy walked past him, out of the bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen to get a glass. Barry was asleep on the couch. 

Rafe was laying on his stomach, looking defeated when Christy returned to her bedroom. She filled the cup with water before sitting back down on the bed. “I’m not leaving until you drink all this, okay?” 

He grumbled before sitting up and taking the cup from her. “Thank you,” he murmured, nuzzling her shoulder. 

“Don’t get your puke on my work clothes, Cameron,” she warned. Christy leaned over to her nightstand and grabbed a tissue, which she used to wipe off his mouth. She reached up to run fingers through his hair, attempting to smooth it back against his head while he laid his head on her shoulder. 

They sat there for too long, enjoying each other’s comfort in silence. Rafe had wrapped his arms around her waist. Christy heard Barry get up and shuffle to his bedroom, hardly casting a second glance their way through the open doorway. 

“I’ve gotta get to work,” she finally said, and Rafe shook his head. “Just hang out here until you’re good to walk home, yeah? You good here with Barry?” 

“It’ll be fine.” He sounded sleepy, and Christy gently pushed him off. Rafe murmured an “I love you” before laying back down and closing his eyes, and Christy left for work.

 ---

Christy wound her way through the sea of kooks littering Kelce’s yard. Kelce had invited her, but Rafe claimed to be busy that night, so Christy decided to fly solo and try to make a couple bucks. 

Selling weed to kooks always reaped less of a reward than selling to tourons or pogues, but it was better than nothing. The kooks knew her, and she had a couple of them who were easy customers. 

Christy had sold half a carton of joints before bumping into Kelce. “Hey, Christy!” he said brightly. A girl was hanging off of him. “Rafe’s in the basement if you were looking for him.” 

Her stomach rolled. “Rafe’s here?” she asked. 

Kelce nodded, and Christy realized how blown his pupils were. How loose and free his movements were. His girl’s body language matched. 

“Thanks, Kelce,” Christy said, shoving past him and everyone else at the party. She must have looked pissed; people cast her strange looks, and some murmured as she pushed through the crowd of intoxicated kooks and into Kelce’s house. 

She thundered down the stairs, knowing exactly what kind of scene she would find. A crowd of people sitting around a table, Rafe in the middle of them, neat lines of coke in front of them. 

That’s exactly what she saw when she reached the bottom of the stairs. The first thing she heard was Rafe’s laugh, followed by Topper’s voice. Christy saw the back of Rafe’s head, his hair carefully smoothed down. Topper stood off to the side, looking displeased. 

Christy wasn’t aware of her feet crossing the plush carpet, shoving her way in front of the girls crammed onto the couch, stepping on their feet and knocking their drinks off the table. She grabbed a fistful of Rafe’s salmon colored polo shirt, hauling him to his feet and shoving him towards the wall. 

“Babe-“ he said, but she pushed him against the wall. A murmur went through the room, and she felt someone grab at her, but she shoved them away before pinning Rafe against the wall. 

“You better fucking tell me it’s not what I think, Rafe,” she snarled, a forearm pressed against his chest. She could see how blown his pupils were. 

“Baby…” Rafe pushed her arm away, but she pressed back. “Baby, I did it to help out you and Barry-“ 

“Bullshit. You were clean and now you’re using your own supply. We don’t need your help, Rafe,” she spat. 

Rafe shoved her, hard now, sending her stumbling backwards and into the coffee table. Christy fell to the floor. There were several shouts in the crowd, and Topper ran to intervene, but Rafe shoved him away and approached Christy. She tried crawling away, finding her feet, but he grabbed her and hauled her to her feet before getting into her face. 

“I need to feel good,” he said through gritted teeth. 

“I don’t make you feel good?” she asked. “Have you been lying to me this whole time?” 

“What’s the difference between me with coke and you with weed? Huh?” Rafe was shouting now, and more hands were soon on her from behind. She flinched violently away from Kelce’s touch, but the only way she could go was into Rafe, who caught her by her waist. 

“Dude, get off her!” she heard Topper yell at him, but Rafe’s grasp remained strong. 

“Baby, I love you,” he purred in her ear. She could feel his lips brush her ear. A shiver went through her – whether from disgust or something else, she didn’t know. 

“Rafe, get your hands off me,” Christy insisted, and for the first time, she realized that she was crying. Her voice must have been laced with venom or desperation, because Rafe’s demeanor completely changed. He let go of her, his eyes wide, his mouth open. 

“Christy,” he said, but she was already walking away, bounding up the steps, greeted with the party happening upstairs. She shoved through the crowd, running to the beach until her legs gave out and she fell to her knees in the sand. 

“Christy,” she heard again from behind her. It wasn’t Rafe’s voice, but his best friend’s. Topper sat down beside her in the sand, not saying anything more. The only sounds aside from the waves and the muffled party music was her sobs and sniffles. 

“I can’t fucking believe it,” she said, even though she could. She had hoped he was sober for good, that she would be able to give him a new high to get off on. Something to keep his mind distracted. It was just as much Barry’s fault as it was Rafe’s, but she couldn’t bear to think of him right now. 

“He needs help,” Topper said quietly. She looked over at him. He looked exhausted and defeated. Topper met her gaze. “I tried. I couldn’t get through to him. I’m… I’m worried about him, Christy. I know you’re a pogue and all, but he’s my guy, and I don’t want him to go down that road again.” 

She let out a shaky breath, and Topper hesitantly put an arm around her, pulling her towards him. “I don’t know if he’ll listen to me,” she said quietly. 

“I think you’re the only person he’ll listen to,” he responded. “He asked me to drop him off at your place the other morning. He wanted to talk to you about it. But I guess that never happened.” 

“He was hungover as shit. Did he use that night, too?” 

Topper nodded and Christy closed her eyes. “He’s going to fucking kill himself,” she muttered. 

“Please talk to him,” Topper said again. His voice was pleading. 

“Can you be there?” Christy asked, hoping Topper got her hint. In case things got bad, in case he got violent. She was still crying and sounded pathetic. 

“Yeah. Yeah, of course,” he said quietly. 

She just nodded against his shoulder, forcing herself to breathe, calm down, and stop crying. Christy was only half-there when Rafe quit the first time. He would call her, needing her as a distraction. She knew how hard it was, and she had watched cocaine absolutely ruin so many people she loved. It ruined her mother, her brother, and now, it had ruined Rafe. 

“Hey Topper?” she asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think he really loves me?”

Christy hated that she had to ask, but she just needed his words to reassure her. To motivate her, to remind her that she was in love with him and he was in love with her, that there was a point for all of this and that his words and actions to her tonight didn’t define their relationship.

“I do,” Topper said. “I’ve known him for a long time, and there’s not many people he really cares about. You’re one of them.”

She pinched her eyes shut, staying in her position leaning against Topper for a moment more before pushing herself up. He pulled back the arm he had around her as Christy wiped her eyes and runny nose on the shoulder of her shirt. “I’ll go get him, I guess.”

“Okay, I’ll call Sarah and see if she can pick me up so it’s not too obvious. I’ll be outside his bedroom, okay?” Topper stood before holding out a hand to help Christy up. She nodded in response. 

They walked back into the house, Topper hanging back to call Sarah. Christy’s stomach was rolling as she walked down the stairs; the couch was mostly vacated, and she could see Rafe sitting, his head in his hands. Wordlessly, Christy crossed the carpet and sat down next to him. 

He didn’t react. They sat there for a few minutes, neither of them moving or speaking, until Christy murmured, “let’s go home, okay Rafe?” 

Rafe didn’t respond. His only movement was the tightening of his fists in his hair, which was disheveled and messy. His knuckles were white, and as he moved his hands, Christy could see his face. It was void of any expression. His eyes were glazed over, fixated on nothing. His brow glistened with sweat, which had soaked parts of his polo shirt. 

“Hey, Rafe?” she asked again, this time running a hand up his back. He closed his eyes in response. “Where are your keys?” 

“Pocket,” he said quietly, and Christy slipped her hand into his pocket to pull out his ring of keys.

She stood, gently grabbing one of his biceps with one hand. “Come on, Rafe.” 

“You hate me, I don’t understand why you’re trying to help me,” he said flatly, not moving. 

“That’s not true, baby,” she said, realizing she had just been calling him by his name. That got through to him; he looked up at her, actually looking at her for the first time since she had come back down there. “Let’s get home.” 

Rafe just sighed, standing. Christy maintained her gentle grip on his bicep, guiding him past discarded cups and clothing and across the basement to the stairs. He kept his head down as she pulled him to where his truck was parked, helping him into the passenger seat before she got in on the driver’s side. She noticed Topper lingering nearby; she dangled her hand out the window, flashing him a thumbs up before pulling away as he nodded in response. 

Streetlights provided the only light on the way to the Cameron residence, partially illuminating Rafe’s face. He had resumed his blank staring out the window, slouching against the door and window. Christy prayed for an empty house, or at least no Ward or Rose. Luckily, the Druthers wasn’t at the dock, so she assumed they were out. 

“Easy,” she had to say quietly as Rafe almost spilled out of his truck. They were silent as they made their way to his bedroom. They passed Sarah, who was smart enough not to say anything, and she gave them nothing more than a sympathetic look. 

Christy closed the door to Rafe’s bedroom behind them. They sat, side by side on the couch, and she had to say the first words. 

“Why’d you do it?” 

Rafe sighed, hesitating before answering. “That night we smoked your weed. It felt good, Christy, and it reminded me… I missed being high. God, I’m so fucking stupid.” He ran a hand through his hair again.

His words were a punch to her gut. “So it’s my fault?” 

“No, baby, no…” his hands rushed to grab hers, and she was surprised at the sudden reaction. “It just… got me thinking and got me wanting it. And what Barry had said…” 

“When did you talk to him? When’d you get the blow?” she asked patiently, knowing the answer. 

“The next day,” he said quietly, not able to make eye contact. 

“While I was at work,” she stated, and he just nodded. “And then later that afternoon Barry was cool with you again and you blew me off so you could sell it without me being there.” 

“Baby…” he went to say again, trying to grab at her, but Christy had gotten to her feet and taken a few steps. Now, it was her turn to run her hands through her hair. 

“You’re a fucking idiot, Rafe!” she said, almost yelling, not being able to control her tone. Christy tried to ignore the puppy dog eyes that were fixated on her. “You know how bad it is. You know my family history. You really think that buying my brother’s coke is helping us out? Rafe, that’s how my mom fucking died. You and Barry are the only two people I care about anymore. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.” 

Christy was fully aware that she was crying again. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Rafe, worried she would get sucked back into him. That he would say he’s sorry and she would have to accept it without any more argument. She knew she was stronger than that, and that she wouldn’t let him get away with this. 

“It’s not all about you!” Rafe yelled suddenly. She could tell he was tense, and she froze. “I needed money for the generators. I bought my bike with the generator money. I sold the bike to pay for this. I need to sell this to buy those fucking generators for my fucking father.” 

Christy took a step back as Rafe got to his feet. He took a step towards her, and she took another step back, opening her mouth, ready to call Topper’s name. She hoped he was waiting outside Rafe’s bedroom like he said he would. 

“Then stop using your own supply, if it’s just about the money, then!” They had looped the argument back on itself. Neither of them were winning, and all Christy could do was hold her ground. 

Rafe didn’t say anything, and Christy couldn’t help but spout out more words at him. “Do you realize how fucking selfish that is? Rafe, I don’t…. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.” 

She didn’t realize she was shaking until Rafe wrapped his arms around her like he was never going to let go. He had crossed the floor in one stride and attached himself to her. “I fucked up,” she heard him say. A hand was pressed to the nape of her skull, another on the small of her back. 

“Rafe, I need you to promise me something, okay?” Christy asked, gently putting her hands on his back. She felt him nod. “I need you to promise me you’ll let me help you, okay? You can’t keep stuff like this from me.” 

“Yeah, I promise,” he whispered.

 “Where’s your stash?” she asked, her cheek pressing against the side of his head, despite their height difference. Rafe was hunched, defeated, and coming off a high. 

They had to pull apart as he pulled out a baggie from his khaki shorts. It contained a decent amount of cocaine, but not near as much as she knew Barry had. 

“That’s not all of it,” she said, and Rafe looked up at her. 

“It is,” he insisted. It was unconvincing.

 “Did you sell the rest of it?”

 Rafe just nodded. Christy grabbed his free hand, dragging him into her bathroom. The toilet seat was already up. “Dump it.” 

He was clearly hesitant. Rafe looked from the toilet bowl, to Christy, then back to the toilet bowl. After a long time of internal debate, he unsealed the Ziploc before turning it over above the toilet, emptying the contents and flushing it before he could change his mind. 

It was Rafe’s turn to cry, and Christy’s turn to hug him and comfort him.

 “You’re going to be okay, baby. I’ll make sure of it.”

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