#she said she will finally rewatch sherlock with me
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topsyturvy-turtely · 1 year ago
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no the deal was to write it for her lol. she didn't want help... she wanted the fricking paper done 😂
please put in the tags why you would / would not / what it would depend on do that. and please REBLOG IF YOU VOTE!!!
also: YES i totally just did that. lmao.
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eyeballmarshmallowtea · 1 month ago
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BBC Sherlock
Hi, I'm Sophie. This post will be a rant. You have been warned.
BBC Sherlock last aired in 2017, with Series 4 Episode 3, The Final Problem. I am still waiting for Series 5. I first discovered this show when my amazing English teacher showed us A Study In Pink before the christmas holidays. I went home, watched the next epsiode, and promptly forgot that Sherlock existed. Until a couple of days before the summer holidays, when we were shown The Hounds of Baskerville. We only got to watch half the episode, and me and a friend finished it and watched half of the Great Game in Science and French class. (It was the end of the year, there was practically no work). And then I left for music tour. We spent 30+ hours on a coach over 5 days. 28 hours of that (I checked) was spent on BBC iPlayer. That's the whole of Sherlock twice. I finished it and then rewatched with a friend, and from then I became obsessed. I got a group together of 4 people, old and new fans, and we chat about Sherlock the entire time and it is amazing. My parents used to watch it so I convinced them that my sister was old enough to watch A Study In Pink. (She was only allowed to watch that one, she is now on Series 4. I regret nothing). My dad found the DVDs in the free book pickup at our local station, so I watched the original pilot episode and it was amazing. I also read and write fanfiction, which leads me onto the next point. And it is a long point.
Johnlock.
Although the series ended 7 years ago, I still hold out hope. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson belong together and always have, and before I finished the show I truly believed it would become canon. I was heartbroken and I genuinely felt let down. As so many of fans were at the time of the show's release, I am an LGBTQ+ teenager, and representation in my favourite show would be more than just a stupid headcannon coming true, it would have meant the world to me and so many others. This show has made me laugh and cry but sometimes I think about what could have happened and I wonder what could have been different.
However, regardless of this, I truly believe that this show is an incredible feat of acting, writing, filming, production and it will come back. Even yesterday (I say yesterday, it's 00:16 currently), the producer said there might be a movie or a new series. There is always hope, and Sherlock will return, because it has to. The 'ending' cannot be the ending, because it is not the ending. It is the temporary ending, and the true one will be here someday, even if it takes another 7 years.
And even if not, then there will be more adaptions, and someday someone will tell the true story of Sherlock.
And whether you ship Johnlock, or are a fan of Sherlock, this show is incredible. And honestly, if there is another series, I don't even care what it is about as long as it just happens.
In conclusion, this show has genuinely been life changing. It has changed my perception of things, given me friendships, made me less bored, given me something to do and something to talk about, and I am endlessly grateful for the show.
So when it does return, I will be waiting for it, and when the first announcement comes, I know my reaction will be pure joy, and probably make me look very stupid in public.
I'm now crying. I need to sleep.
Thank you for reading
-Sophie
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curlyjohnlock · 1 month ago
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Hi,
I'm new to this. I'm genuinely curious how johnlock fandom happened. I watched sherlock and didn't notice any chemistry between them. I'm just trying to understand. And how do you feel about Ben and Martin not liking each other in real life? Thanks.
Hello anon!
The Johnlock fandom was born long before BBC Sherlock aired. I think there was a speculation about them in the late 1800s but, obviously, talking about homosexuals was out of the question at the time. But the ship took off in 2010, when it all started.
I have met several people in the fandom who told me they didn't notice anything romantic between the two at first viewing, but then they had to change their minds with rewatches.
Now, it must be said that the characters themselves constantly imply that the two of them behave like a couple.
1. Mrs Hudson
From the first moment, in A Study in Pink, she believes that Sherlock has brought his new 'boyfriend' home.
In The Empty Hearse, she can't believe that John is now engaged to a woman.
"So soon after Sherlock?"
"Hmm... well, yes."
"What's his name?"
"It's a woman."
"A wOmAn?!?" and then she laughs. She sounds rather incredulous, perhaps believing he is moking her.
"You really have moved on, haven't you?"
2. Mycroft
Nobody knows Sherlock better than Mycroft. In A Study in Pink, when he meets John for the first time, he says: "Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?" and literally Sherlock and John met the DAY BEFORE! Why would Mycroft bother stalking a poor army doctor if he doesn't believe that Sherlock could be attracted to him? 🤷🏼‍♀️
In The Final Problem, Mycroft already knew that Sherlock would sacrifice him and save John. Sherlock loves John more than Mycroft, AND HE'S HIS OWN BROTHER!
3. Angelo [the restaurant owner in A Study in Pink (although I prefer the one in the Unaired Pilot, better known as the Gay Pilot)].
Angelo has known Sherlock for years, and why would he make Sherlock attractive to John? "Hey, you know this macho guy got me out of prison?" "OH! Wait! I'll get you a phallus candle, that'll be very romantic. 🥰😍😛"
4. Donovan
In The Great Game, when Sherlock finds the abandoned car, Donovan says to John: "I see you're still hanging around him. Opposites attract, I suppose."
This one may not be the best example, but it's worth including.
5. Irene Adler
My God that woman. She's in love with Sherlock, and that's fine. Who wouldn't fall in love with Sherlock or his brain? But she also knows that Sherlock only has his heart set on John. In A Scandal in Belgravia, when they go to her house, she immediately says to Sherlock: "And somebody loves you. If I had to punch that face, I'd avoid your nose and teeth too."
Then, when John goes to Battersea and meets her, she asks: "Are you jealous?"
"We're not a couple."
"Yes, you are."
Again, she met them for literally 3 minutes and immediately realised it!
6. Mary
Mary should hate Sherlock to death (and I'm still convinced that she never liked Sherlock).
What was that proverb again? Respect the owner's dog for your own sake. It means: like the dog to please the owner. Or something like that.
In this case, the owner is John and the dog is Sherlock. It's obvious that at a certain point Mary starts shipping them, almost as if she doesn't really care about John.
7. Magnussen
In His Last Vow, Magnussen meets Sherlock and John for a few minutes, and immediately tells them: "You two are sooo domesticated." Later in the episode, he tells Sherlock that John is "your damsell in distress."
I hope this was exhaustive from Johnlock's point of view! Maybe try looking at it from another point of view and rewatch the whole serie. At that point, if you're still not convinced, it's okay, anon, we don't bite!
Moving on to Benedict and Martin... we all know that Martin has a particular character and that he has trouble getting along with literally anyone, but I don't believe the newspapers. They are journalists, they HAVE to cause a SCANDAL!! Otherwise no one would read them. They take sentences from a completely different context and pass them off as true. Take for example when it was said that Benedict had called Martin 'pathetic.'
There is a video of this interview. The presenter asked Benedict to drink tea the way Martin drinks it, Benedict imitates him and then says 'pathetic', but it is not strictly intended to refer to Martin.
I know for a fact that Martin took it out on Benedict when he got married to Sophie Hunter, just because he didn't invite Martin to his wedding. On the same day, Amanda reported Martin's tantrums on twitter!!! 🤣🤣
Anyway! Even if the rumors were true, it doesn't matter. It's their problem, not ours.
Yes, it may upset us as fans, but these two are real people in the real life.
I'll conclude with this. If you have any other questions, feel free to contact me again! And anyone is welcome to comment on this or ask me anything. 👋🏻
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thou-shall-fucketh-off · 9 months ago
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im rewatching sherlock bc I like making myself suffer and it just hit me that sherlock was completely fine with mary and john getting married. everyone around him said that everything would be different but he was fine, john said it would be the same, and sherlock trusts john. so he was fine, until the final moment and mary is pregnant. sherlock didn't think of that, mary didn't think of that, john didn't think of that. sherlock wasn't prepared, john had promised nothing would be different with him and mary together, but john never promised with a baby involved. sherlock realized this and the inevitable happened, "my bestfriend margaret, she was the chief bridesmaid, we were going to be bestfriends forever, we always said that. i remember she left early. i mean, who leaves a wedding early?" i always thought sherlock had always planned to leave early but we both knew it was the sign of three, not four.
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inevitably-johnlocked · 1 year ago
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Hi Steph. I have some... Mary thoughts, specifically in regards to her shooting Sherlock. This is, taking TST at face value (although one weird moment to me was Mary asking Sherlock if she ever told him she liked him and he said yes, when she only said it in front of John, which could support the s4 is in John's head theory).
Her reaction to Ajay being shot, the way she screamed, changed the way I thought about her shooting Sherlock. I always thought she meant to kill him, but I never considered Mary could genuinely like and even love Sherlock and still be willing to shoot to kill.
She said AGRA was family, she was excited to see Ajay and yet she did threaten to kill him. And I believe she meant it. I think in her mind, killing to keep John around, or to save John (in regards to Ajay) is... justified?
I don't know how to feel about her yet, I can like her on the surface level if I don't think about her too much? But some things (one that always stood out to me was in the TAB plane scene where she is weirdly smirking and almost reveling in others' pain?) I know others picked up on it to, liking Mary at first and then beginning to find her suspicious upon rewatches and with new context was a very common fandom experience.
I guess I am sharing thoughts and kind of asking for your opinion? I chose to go off anon, and I am fine with it being public. Just saying that, because sometimes when I sent asks off anon people would assume it is like a private message. Still new to Tumblr etiquette, sorry -AA
Hey Lovely!
OOOOOOF I have SO many thoughts about Mary.... my blog was pretty well-known back in the hey-day for all the ridiculous amount of meta I wrote about her and coining 'the mary problem'...
I actually personally found her character interesting and fascinating up until S4, within which I feel they did a complete 180 on her character and instead went with a SHITTY "redemption arc" that was anything but.
As for her killing Sherlock, I have to disagree, she ABSOLUTELY meant to kill him. John was a trophy to Mary, and Sherlock threatened that prize being taken away from her. Ajay threatened to also upend her life, so he had to die. Mary cares about no one but herself. That much was clear even on the surface level of S4. She literally ran off without as much as a goodbye and abandoned her NEWBORN CHILD AND depressed husband. Like, she's a HORRIBLE person even if you're not reading any of the subtext, so I'm BOGGLED how Mofftiss thought that Mary doing an impossible jump in front of a bullet was supposed to redeem her character when... *waves all over* ALL THAT happened before the final moments of T6T.
ANYWAY, I wrote a LOT about Mary... you can check out the majority of my writing on these posts here:
Mary is a Femme Fatale
The Problem with John x Mary
Mary’s Brand of Abuse
Mary Meant to Kill Sherlock
Mary’s Gaslighting
The True Sociopath: People Fail to See It Unless It Happens to Them
And of course there's a TONNE to read in my 'the mary problem' tag too :)
Thanks for this ask!!! I like griping about how they ruined an amazing villain that could-have-been!
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singinprincess · 8 months ago
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3, 7, 14, 15, 20, 26, 27
3. favourite character moment where they did something you wouldn’t have done
all the times Regina Mills killed a man 😂
7. unpopular ship/s you like?
Too many of my ships are unpopular, tbh. Alex/Astra (Supergirl), Olivia Benson/David Haden (SVU), Olivia Benson/Trevor Langan (SVU), Caitlin Snow/Cisco Ramon (The Flash), Denna/Dennee (Legend of the Seeker), the list goes on...
14. favourite genres to read or watch?
I already said crime in a previous ask. I also love comedy and musicals.
15. hot fandom take?
My hot fandom take is that Regina Mills was single in the OUaT finale, because she was destined to meet Olivia Benson. They're married now btw.
20. least favourite actor?
I listed some in a previous ask, but have some more: steve carell, that sherlock dude cucumberpants or whatever, tatiana maslany, megan fox, that cricket dude on chicago med...
26. moment where you think the fandom did a a character dirty?
Oh, this is interesting, cause like, are we talking the writers/show did them dirty, or the actual fans? Like, Supergirl did Kara dirty by the entire Mon-El thing, they also killed my beloved Astra and recast Alura in the stupidest way possible (I'm bitter). Charmed screwed us over by killing off Prue. Like we can't have nice things. Fans killed my desire to engage in fandom and my ability to enjoy watching OUaT... until a few years later where I rewatched the show and thoroughly enjoyed it. idk. I'm sure there are more specific things, but I'm currently in a good place with my current fandoms so I won't complain.
27. something people get wrong about a particular culture and how would you know?
There are many serious things that people get wrong about my culture. I won't be posting them publicly though.
--
send me asks
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kamilocunt · 11 months ago
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For the stay at home ask game :3
5. 5 tv shows that cheer you up
Hello friend! Always a pleasure to hear from you! 5 tv shows that cheer me up!
1. Supernatural. We’ve been watching it since we were 13 and it did rewire our brain unfortunately.
2. Doctor who. Must I elaborate. Amazing show.
3. I am so sorry to do this. Sherlock. I know. I know how this looks. It is so bad. But like I said, our neurons got fucked. And you can’t be on tumblr and a supernatural fan in 2013 without Consequences. The nostalgia sweeps us away. This is my burden to bear. It is such a bad show. It sucks so much. Go watch elementary or the rdj films instead
4. Invincible. We have a younger alter who watches it over and over. She loves Mark Greyson so much. I don’t think she even realizes how watching something with that much gore might read as Not Great to the rest of us lol
5. Game of thrones. We have been reading the books since we were 12. We want to hunt GRRM for sport. We want to kill whoever is responsible for season eight. We wanted to be just like Arya Stark. We actually just started rewatching it because we convinced our partner to watch with us finally. Received a Stark mug made from real horn literally today. We are normal
Honorable mentions:
Merlin. We love it so much. We cannot watch it again or we will have a mental breakdown
I know it’s not a show. But the roblox oomf video by hbomberguy. We watch it at least once a month. Fucking hilarious. I will kill Tommy talarico
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jawnasaurus1 · 2 years ago
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Mycroft’s romance film in TFP.
I don’t usually rewatch BBC Sherlocks’ The Final Problem… nor season 4 for that matter, but recently I revisited the awkward season and when it came to the early scenes in the finale episode, I couldn’t help but laugh over the fact that Mycroft’s romantic film he watches ends up being corrupted… which is already pretty telling on a ground level analysis, especially considering Mycroft is played by Mark Gatiss, the literal writer.
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Naturally, I investigated further into the film that is used in an attempt to see if the plot line possibly matches/ mirrors that of Sherlock and John. However I found out that the film was in fact made by Mark and Steven. In response to the question, Ian Hallard (Marks husband) responded:
I'm not sure they gave it a name! It's a film noir
pastiche they wrote and shot themselves
though - not an existing film.
So… in some way this makes things more interesting. I find it very unlikely that they didn’t leave us little clues and subplots intermingled within the romance. With that being said, I decided to analyse the scene, and this is my findings…
The plot of the romance.
From the short clip we get, we can gather that a woman is heavily flirting with a police officer in his office whom he returns the flirting.
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The woman insists she will be arrested by the man (in a seductive tone of manner) and he replies that he will not arrest her, only keep a very… very… close eye on her… (if you get my drift.)
Props and design.
The first thing I noticed in the backdrop led me to immediately link the man with another character. It was a globe in the background which reminded me of Mycroft’s in his office.
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And then in Mycroft’s office (TEH)
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Furthermore, the lamp closely resembles Mycroft’s which we see in The Six Thatchers. The fact that both of them have an office and hold authority in some kind of civil occupation makes it quite an obvious mirroring.
Who’s the woman then?
I think that the woman represents Moriarty. Her characteristics and flirty manner to higher ranks perfectly matches Moriarty, who we see uses seduction and ‘love’ to gain closure on Sherlock. This is evidenced with himself posing as Molly’s boyfriend to meet Sherlock and Kitty’s boyfriend to expose Sherlocks public image through the media. Moriarty flirts a hell of a lot with Sherlock in the pool scene (TGG) and also makes sex references with the governor in the flashback scene in The Final Problem.
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Keeping the M theory in mind that Moriarty manipulates and threatens Mycroft into giving information about Sherlock, it’s not impossible that Jim keeps up with his flirty attitude with Mycroft … in fact it’s made explicit that he does and we are shown this in the flashback too.
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But the man quite clearly flirts back in the film? This is a tricky one but it’s pretty clear that Mycroft underestimates Moriarty’s power in the beginning of the series. Perhaps he plays along to (in his mind) humour the idea that Jim has already won to give the perception he is less smarter than he gives on. This is until he got too deep in the threats and manipulation and finds himself messed up in the web. The man also finds himself having to hold back in the film as well when things get a little too risky.
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So we have established that The man is a Mycroft mirror and the woman is a Moriarty mirror. But what can we take away from it? I’ll start at the beginning and make my way through :)
A CHRONOLOGICAL ANALYSIS.
The scene begins with the following:
Man- You know I could arrest you.
woman- What for?
man- Wearing a dress like that.
woman- Would you like me to take it off?
man- Then i’d really have to press charges.
Woman- Press away.
Prior to The Reichenbach Fall in season 2, we are aware that Mycroft has been trying to keep Sherlock safe from Moriarty. In fact, in the end of The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Moriarty has been in a cell before Mycroft says “Let him go.”
We can assume they wanted the none existent “key code” which in unlikely because I don’t think Mycroft would be so naïve. So I think what the scene tells us is that Mycroft had no hard evidence to put Moriarty behind bars. No matter what he accuses him of, Moriarty is already ahead of him, and he almost mocks Mycroft. “Would you like me to take it off?” because he knows he can play the Government and the Secret service, they have nothing on him.
In The Final Problem flashback, Mycroft tells Moriarty: “Until you commit a verifiable crime, you are, I regret, at liberty.”
Then the camera angle changes so that we see the projector light blinding us so that Mycroft is barely visible.
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The two dim lights appear to look like dying flowers, representative of Mycroft’s dying power and authority. The blinding light corresponds to the blind ignorance and stupidity that Mycroft held for not realising he was being played.
woman- Isn’t that how they got started?
man- Who? (The camera cutes to Mycroft)
woman- Adam and Eve.
man- Oh them.
woman- And that turned out ok.
man- You think so? I thought it was supposed to be the beginning of all human misery.
The use of “they” makes me wonder who they are referring to… if not Adam and Eve. I’m not too sure on this one to be honest with you. Could Adam and Eve represent Sherlock and John? Of the top of my head, Mark Gatiss could be referring to the ACD Sherlock Holmes because its the first fabrication of these characters. I can’t seem to link them to the previous lines though, however the next line “Oh, them.” is a line that Mycroft (Mark) lip-sinks.
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That’s why I assume we are talking about Sherlock and John because of the ironic smile and knowing shake of the head. He also happens to lip-sinks “You think so? I thought it was supposed to the beginning of all human misery.” With the continuation of Adam and Eve as the first Sherlock and John, this implies that, as a result of Moriarty, Mycroft questions the sanity of of his brother and John. 
Mycroft then takes a sip of alcohol, whether it be whisky or brandy...
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Despite his cool façade, The Drink Code suggests that taking hard alcohol means fear. Mycroft fears for Sherlock and feels as if he has been caught in Moriarty’s web, leaving his younger brother suggestable and in danger. Human misery.
The camera then turns back to the film. 
woman- Now what was all that about arresting me?
This line from the woman closely resembles that of Moriarty in The Final Problem when he is at Sherrinford with Mycroft.
“So am I under arrest again?” To which Mycroft says: “You remain a person of interest.”
The camera closes in on Mycroft once again, articulating the idea that Mycroft wanted to arrest Moriarty. He even smiles at the idea.
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man- well maybe not arresting you.
woman- no?
man- I could just keep you under close watch.
The camera returns to Mycroft once more. This was maybe his error. Letting Moriarty go free and underestimating his danger. He thought if he just kept an eye on what he thought (which was indefinitely a mis-calculation) Moriarty was up to, he would keep himself and Sherlock safe...  
Following this line, Mycroft and us witness the first corrupted glitch which we know after to be Sherlock and John. However, it’s quite ironic that it occurs at the same point at which Mycroft makes his error in letting Moriarty be liberated.
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After a few corrupted scenes, Mycroft frowns and looks behind at the projector. He turns to the blinding light of ignorance and sees what has happened to him. 
Meanwhile:
woman- shame I was looking forward to putting myself into the hands of the authorities.  
If that doesn’t sound like Moriarty then I don’t know what does! It makes if even better that at this exact point, the camera shows a close up of a rather worried Mycroft.
man- you were?
woman- finger-printing, being searched... thoroughly. 
Again, it’s the spitting image of Moriarty!
The film glitches between a young Mycroft and the woman, furthermore proving some kind of link between these two.
Then Mycroft appears to lose his disturbance when an extended clip of the Holmes family plays before his whole nostalgia is corrupted..
“I’m back.”
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just-rogi · 3 years ago
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I’m thissss close to snapping and making a full on Sarah Z style hour long YouTube video on the fall of superwholock and why doctor who holds up when SPN and Sherlock did not. Spoilers: you could tell from the in universe representation of the fans with SPN and Sherlock adding fangirl insert characters shown to be stupid obsessive queer and crazy whereas the doctor who fan insert -osgood- was a hero who represented what it means to be human. Supernatural made fun of destiel shippers IN THE SHOW Sherlock called fans who speculated about Reichenbach Fall stupid and crazy (both shows making fun of the fans for being queer as well) where as osgood is nerdy, excitable, socially awkward and above all else, kind. Osgood is offered a position as a full time companion and she says she wants to go more than anything but she has to stay here, defend the earth, to which the doctor replies “by the way, I’m a huge fan” THIS SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT THE TREATMENT OF FANS BY THE SHOW!! Doctor who the show and the doctor the character love the curious unique individuals who are interested in the adventures of a madman with a box who choses to help people and believes all life is special. Between Johnlock, Reichenbach, Destiel, Charlie, the musical episode, and the destiel confession supernatural and Sherlock have showed time and time again that they actively hate their audience (if you were around for the final episode of Sherlock you remember how bad it was for fans and i don’t need to remind anyone of “all gays go to hell all cars go to heaven” )
Something also has to be said for the fact that doctor who is the only show of the three without a huge decade long queer baiting (ok the whole Clara thing is on thin ice I’ll be honest but they fixed that with bill in season 10) scandal that ends in blatant homophobia (note it’s not homophobic BECAUSE destiel or johnlock didn’t end up together, it’s homophobic because of the years of intentional queer baiting that predates the end of each program) when your fan base is predominantly queer this is not advisable.
And of course this doesnt take into account the massive change that happened after dashcon, doctor who had an established 50 year history by that point and solid writing so while it fell from its godlike position on tumblr it was still relatively popular after that cultural shift. Also- and this may be controversial - the writing in doctor who is better. I’m sorry but it is. Rewatching some of the 2010-2015 episodes I’m reminded that when doctor who is good, it’s GOOD. The oncoming storm speech. The 9th doctor and the dalek prisoner, “I would never” , a good man goes to war, “the laws of time obey me” , the fucking 50th war doctor speeches, the zygon inversion speech, “the one thing you never put in a trap… me”, all of hell bent, and of course the Van Gogh episode. Honestly on writing alone doctor who absolutely bodies Sherlock and supernatural which is shocking because moffat wrote for Sherlock as well but it never felt as powerful it always felt very clever but once you knew the answer to whatever mystery Sherlock was solving the intrigue just faded. Whereas the more you watch episodes like Vincent and the Doctor, the Day of the Doctor, or Hell Bent, the more you fall in love with the writing.
I could go on and on and on for ages about writing, character relatability , overarching themes and morals, the unique mechanic of regeneration, the doctor companion dynamic, and the question of “are humans inherently good or evil” and so many more nuanced reasons as to why doctor who stands the test of time (pun only slightly intended) but I will not that is too long and I am tired but know that I could if I wanted because the evidence is there
Tldr: doctor who isn’t bad you guys are just mean
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notyetbulletproof · 3 years ago
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Honestly,
They should have given us like 2 more episodes of Elementary.
1) to properly tie up the Reichenbach thing
- I wanted to see him pay
- also watching the aftermath of Sherlock’s “death” and at the end of the episode hearing his voice-over from a letter to Joan. We (audience) could have seen his exploits in another country in snippets or have flashbacks of him and joan’s plan (i.e what we briefly saw in the finale).
2) a proper funeral/memorial for Morland Holmes and all who were lost because of the betrayal. Or better yet! Surprise! He slithered away from death. That whole emotional hit then giving Joan cancer was just unnecessarily painful!
3) if Joan must have cancer to up the stakes and make these 2 fools be honest that they really need the other and as the Captain said “when you love someone big enough, you allow them to love you”—- or something like this, then show us the support! Show us him sitting with her through chemotherapy. Testing her on various things, keeping her sharp. Looking after her (as we know he did) and most of all— Looking out for Arthur.
Come on! Imagine Arthur going “uncle detective!” during school pick ups or martial arts practices. Or him falling asleep next to Joan one night and Sherlock helping carry him to bed while Joan turns in for the night.
Then one night as he’s going to bed, he asks Sherlock if his mum is going to be okay and Sherlock says “she is going to be okay, I promise” and it’s a throwback to when he promised to protect Watson and she told him he couldn’t promise that and he responded with “and yet I did”. Finally Arthur would say “uncle Sherlock, that’s a big promise” and Sherlock would say “and yet I made it. I intend to keep it”. Arthur would smile, be tucked in and head to sleep.
LIKE GIVE ME MORE ARTHUR AND SHERLOCK??? I mean “it’s an honour to make your acquaintance” was super cute and I would have like more of that. Or Sherlock investigating weird stuff at his school and people being all “who is that? What is he doing” and Arthur going “oh that’s just my Uncle Detective. He knows everything”.
It’s my head canon that Sherlock beams and is super excited when his godson or nephew finds him cool. And both Joan and Kitty roll their eyes every time.
4) Kitty and Archie coming back for the finale. Seeing more of Marcus’s and Sherlock’s interactions post him coming back. How did they adapt. Marcus was upset but not unforgiving. How did they bury that hatchet? Let them have one proper case of them being awesome or like about to start one. You know? Like they get a call to consult.
5) Moriarty. Just a smidge more. Yeah, most of the episode was connecting her to Sherlock and Joan and how her “death” was questionable and clearly a ploy. It still would have been cool to have her try and reach out since Morland is gone and she’s rising in the ranks again. To take her power. I get the game is indeed afoot but it would have been cool to see it. I liked the whole “do we have a shovel?” So Sherlock could prove she wasn’t dead.
6) more episodes just so I could have more of Joan and Sherlock before we had to say goodbye. Honestly Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu hit it out of the park and Elementary is my fave iteration of Sherlock. I think I’m gonna keep rewatching it. It’s one of those shows you know??
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lonelier-version-of-you · 2 years ago
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So my mom wanted to rewatch another old Casualty ep to make up for the hiatus. She said she wanted something Dylan and David centric, then decided anything Dylan centric would do. So we’re rewatching S26E10 “Sanctuary”, aka the Canon Autistic Dylan episode, also featuring a patient who is possibly the only attempt I’ve ever really seen in media at portraying an autistic character with high support needs as an actual character. Sure, her portrayal is flawed, but they tried - and that’s more than I can say for, say, Madge’s daughter Lizzie on Holby who literally existed solely to burden Madge.
Edit 1: Love a Tahsin Guner ep. He also wrote Holby S13E33, an episode you all know I’m a fan of.
Edit 2: DYLAN!! AND ZOE!! AND SAM!!
Edit 3: Dylan literally being like “I don’t know her” about Sam sfsfsfsfsf
Edit 4: Jay and Ruth! I barely know anything about either of them but my mom loves Ruth. And has just declared Ruth and Jay her favourite couple.
Edit 5: Patient of the week (not the autistic one, though that would be even funnier) is named Annie!
Edit 6: And now the skater girl patient!
Edit 7: And now Angela the autistic woman finally appears!
Edit 8: Angela’s ableist mother giving off Serena vibes.
Edit 9: “Angela, if you do that [verbal stimming] on the bus, people will be laughing!” OH FUCK OFF.
Edit 10: Angela’s ableist mum has collapsed!
Edit 11: Nurse Linda Andrews checking up on her patient, who I think was a recurring character. Haven’t watched the rest of the storyline though.
Edit 12: I do like the patient story with Sam and the stubborn skater girl.
Edit 13: You know how I say Holby should’ve kept stuff like Henrik tapping pencils as just a stim rather than calling it OCD if they weren’t going to bother to portray actual OCD? Angela tapping things as a stim is making me more convinced of that.
Edit 14: Let Angela have her blankets, Janice!!
Edit 15: Annie singing to her adorable kid :’)
Edit 16: Janice LITERALLY acts just like Serena though.
Edit 17: Louise!!
Edit 18: Dylan meets Angela!!
Edit 19: Sam, describing Angela: “You mean lack of eye contact? Communication issues?” Dylan, avoiding eye contact: “Communication issues?”
Edit 20: “Think of me as the Sherlock Holmes of medicine!” DYLAN I LOVE YOU.
Edit 21: DYLAN AND ANGELA <3 I love how Dylan’s so often the one to treat disabled patients.
Edit 22: Sam takes no prisoners. Also, she’s kind of giving off Bernie vibes here.
Edit 23: Dylan to Sam: “Can you just keep the noise down on your side a little?!”
Edit 24: Zoe and Dylan banter my beloved.
Edit 25: This pimp dude can go right to hell.
Edit 26: ANGELA’S MONOLOGUE READING OUT HER MEDICAL RECORDS AND TALKING ABOUT THE ABLEISM SHE FACES AND HOW SHE’S ALWAYS BEEN TREATED, MY BELOVED.
“’The patient was identified at age three as developmentally delayed. At age 14, she was classified as an emotionally disturbed student and placed into special classes. At 16, she was placed into the care of an assisted living home, after her mother could no longer cope with her behaviour. She spends most of her time alone, suffers from poor communication skills, and is believed to have Autism Spectrum Disorder.’ That's me. What I am. A disorder.”
HOLBY COULD NEVER. Imagine Jason having a monologue like this. Wait, you can’t, can you?
Edit 27: Lmao Skater Girl Patient’s name is Clara!!
Edit 28: Sam, seeing Angela try to cover herself in the blankets: “I don’t know what she’s trying to do!” Lol, no disrespect to Sam and all (I do like her) but no wonder her marriage to an autistic man failed, isn’t it?!
Edit 29: DISABILITY RIGHTS ADVOCATE DYLAN
Edit 30: Janice: “[Angela]’s never complained before!”
Dylan: “Well, maybe she did and you weren’t listening!”
Edit 31: Seriously, fuck off, pimp dude.
Edit 32: I adore Dylan. I really, really adore Dylan.
Edit 33: “I prefer the term ‘neurodiverse’.” CANON AUTISTIC DYLAN!! CANON AUTISTIC DYLAN!!!!!
Edit 34: The ‘stern but kind older female nurse’ is such a classic Casualty archetype, and it feels wrong that we don’t have one on the show right now. Either bring back Tess properly, get Madge in from Holby, or introduce a new character to fill that role.
Edit 35: Dylan calling out Janice again!
Edit 36: Janice actually trying for once!
Edit 37: Angela: “I feel better.” Dylan: “Words we doctors live for.” <3
Edit 38: Aww, Janice taking off the jacket that was bothering Angela’s sensory issues!
Edit 39: Sam: “We’ll make a soldier of you yet, Keogh.”
Edit 40: LMAOOOO ZOE THINKING SAM IS DYLAN’S DAUGHTER
Edit 41: Linda is so lovely.
Edit 42: Dylan watching longingly as Sam walks away. The man the fandom wants us to think doesn’t want relationships.
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windychanglin · 3 years ago
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Nirvana in Fire: A Series that Just Gets Better with Every Rewatch
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There is a saying that the first viewing of a great series/ movie should be done for the plot, second watch for the details and third watch for the craft. While rewatching things (especially a long series) has never been one of my favourite things, i had done it for a very few Japanese dramas, which definitely the ones i love the most and since they just have little number of episodes. The only long series i'd ever rewatched back then was Sherlock, and this year, finally i binge-rewatched another one! Yupyup, that is Nirvana in Fire, and the sole reason was because i was triggered after seeing the series' six-year anniversary post on Twitter around September LOL. I first watched it three years ago, though i had to finish it in haste before the university's end of semester exam period coming up. I remember i loved the overall quality of the series, admiring some of the amazing casts, repeating the theme songs, looking up for the fanficts, but didn't manage to rewatch it until this year, when i finally have more spare time and less thing to watch on my list.
I don't know if this post can be seen as a review, i just feel i need to write it all down because it's not just my opinions/ questions regarding the details i discovered after rewatching, it also contains my feelings HHH now without further ado, here is some of my best scenes and discoveries after a rewatch that leave me in complete awe all over again of the brilliant screenplay!!
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[EP1] I think i didn't catch the clue during my first watch that when Lin Chen said, "He actually did it" upon hearing the Northern Yan's unfavoured 6th Prince's ascension to the Crown Prince, he was referring to Su Zhe. This reminded me again that Su Zhe was so resolute in his plans and never took the shortcut. He went as far as meddling in the enemy kingdom's affairs to create a concerning news about the Divine Talent and make sure it reached the other kingdom's princes. That way he could kill two birds with one stone because he also got the chance to test his own capability as a royal adviser before proceeding to his greater objectives in the Da Liang.
[EP4] I love how Su Zhe looked startled even in the subtlest way when Nihuang confessed that she's in "difficult situation," have no "other alternatives" and hoping that Su Zhe will put all his efforts into the defeat-Baili-Qi plan, i assume he only found out that moment that Nihuang actually still didn't want to get married and worried a lot about the husband selection tournament, yet she didn't say much about it and still being so cooperative with him to carry out the plan, which probably in her understanding, was initially created to get Tingsheng out of the servant prison (as what Su Zhe had promised to Jingyan).
[EP9] Minister Liu Cheng from the Grand Secretariat who stays out of the princes' fight for the throne suddenly brought up Shen Zhui's name to Emperor to be chosen as Minister of State Revenue. Next we found out Su Zhe had set up a meeting for Shen Zhui and Jingyan to know each other. Was it a coincidence or Minister Liu actually had somewhat a connection with Su Zhe?
[EP11] It's ironic that Grand Princess Liyang was one of those people who prevented Nihuang to be drugged by Consort Yue, but it was also her husband, Xie Yu, who made the snake Yue got Emperor's mercy and reinstated to her original position. If Xie Yu had the feeling of guilty because of what he had done to Liyang in the past, he wouldn't come up with an idea to help Yue out from the punishment.
[Ep14] A hear-warming moment when Su Zhe told Yujin that he's a "bright and insightful" person, while in the novel Su Zhe used to punish him a lot due to his frivolous behaviour. Yujin is one of those with the best character development throughout the story, like who would have thought that Su Zhe even trusted him an important mission in a later ep!
[EP14] Nihuang actually started to do the female-style greetings before Su Zhe, she normally did the male-style probably because it was more natural for her as an army general. I love how Su Zhe looked a bit stunned and Mu Qing just chuckling at her sister, acting on behalf of the viewers xDD
[EP19] Remember when Lin Chen asked Fei Liu if he wanted to join him to Southern Chu in [EP1]? In this ep, Princess Yu Wen Nian from Southern Chu was told by "Priest Chen" that her wish can come true once they arrived in Jinling. I wished they show a glimpse of Lin Chen's journey to Southern Chu and how he managed to persuade the princess to visit Jingrui, her half-brother.
[EP19] Why did Mu Qing not invited to Jingrui's birthday? I thought they're bestfriends?? x"D Had Su Zhe done something to stop him from attending the bloody party? I remember he had promised Nihuang that nothing will happen to Mu Qing while she went back to Southern Border.
[EP20] Gong Yu played Feng Qiu Huang (A Love Story) in Jingrui's birthday party, it's a famous Chinese zither song in Chinese history that has served as a symbol of the youth's pursuit for love, free marriage and happy life. A song that would hit none other than Grand Princess Liyang close to home.
[EP23] Water-buffalo is his mother's son after all
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After hearing Xie Yu's confession in the prison, Xia Dong actually said, "I'm sorry" to Jingyan for casting him out for years due to his belief of Chiyan army case but Jingyan, being a benevolent man like his mother, didn't think it was for him at all as he replied, "Xiao-Shu wouldn't blame you," probably thinking that the guilt she felt was only aiming for Lin Shu and his family.
[EP23] The moment before Grand Empress Dowager died, she was actually calling for Xiao-Shu and Jinyang (Lin Shu's mother), i thought it was Jingyan at first. I was too slow to follow that Lin Shu's mother was also the granddaughter by blood of the Grand Empress Dowager.
[EP24] Remarkable Argument Scenes
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I'd like to address a bit some of my fav argument scenes happened betweet Su Zhe and Jingyan, in which we could see how Su Zhe wasn't only giving instructions to Jingyan as a strategist (like what he had done to Prince Yu), but gradually evoke Jingyan's ability to think of any possibilities and solutions by giving him perpetual questions regarding the situation.
Su Zhe queried Jingyan on how would he arrest Duke Qing, a Marquis General of the second rank, with the right to receive a pardon from Emperor, who didn't commit the murders personally and how to find the missing link as a necessary piece of evidence. [EP9]
After the explosion of illegal firework factory, they had another argument as Su Zhe suggested to pretend to forget on reporting the utilization of army provisions for the victims to the Ministry of Defense. [EP17]
The heated argument happened again between them after hearing Xie Yu's confession in the prison, as Su Zhe suggested Jingyan to give up the investigation of Chiyan army case since it won't bring benefit but endless troubles on his path to the throne. Although it sounded like Su Zhe didn't want Jingyan to investigate, i think Su Zhe was actually testing Jingyan's determination, making sure he won't act recklessly on his own and eventually rely on Su Zhe's plans and strategies. [EP23-24]
Through the logical questions and reasonings, Su Zhe had been training Jingyan to be more forbearing, prudent and know when to retreat/ advance during the fights for the throne.
[EP24] Su Zhe said, "Whenever i think about the things in the past, i feel like an iceberg been roasted by a fire. Sometimes it's warm, sometimes it chills to the bone," this is reflecting to what he said during his first visit to Jingyan's manor after 12 years in [EP9]. He felt the warm because "this place is still the same as in past years, nothing has changed at all" but the unchanged manor sent chills down his spine, provoking the symptomps of his illness, as he next said, "It's just today feels a little colder than yesterday." It's not only Winter, cold weather and over-toiling that could make him suffer a relapse, but also when he's reminiscing the past, it happened too after Nihuang found out about his identity in [EP12].
[EP25] During my first watch i thought Su Zhe would eliminate the entire Hua Tribe because they're dangerous and might wreak future havoc in the Da Liang, but in this ep it's hinted that even though Qin Banruo's informants got removed by him, those who wanted to retire and fled were eventually saved by Jiangzuo Alliance. I like the idea of him saving them because Hua Tribe also deserved the justice after being betrayed by the Emperor which causing the fall of their kingdom.
[EP30] Xia Jang said, "Of the officers ranked above brigadier general, there was two whom we didn't find their Chiyan wrist band. One of them was Wei Zheng" i was wondering whether he had never thought the possibility that the other one would be Lin Shu or Nie Feng and that they're still alive, because they had the requirements above. And Xia Jang should had known that Xie Yu actually brought the wrong (or intentional fake?) body of Nie Feng to Xia Dong.... or he did not know at all.
[EP34] The thievery in the ministry's officials manors on New Year's Eve wasn't a mere coincidence because it was all planned by Su Zhe, for it became a very valid reason to move Jingyan's capital patrols (under Emperor's order) around the city to catch the thieves the day they saved Wei Zheng. Literally Su Zhe had to makes 5 or 6 subplans to save one person with all the risk of being accused, that shows how difficult it was to penetrate Xuanjing Bureau and it's system!!
[EP37] Fei Liu's memory
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The plant that Fei Liu gave to Su Zhe was Nandina Domestica, usually known as "Heavenly Bamboo" or "Sacred Bamboo." It's commonly planted in the garden or house in Japan and serves to protect a household from harm. A householder who'd had a bad dream could confide in it, thus ensuring the safety of the home's inhabitants. The question is, did Fei Liu actually know about it? Because he knew his Su-gege had been having frequent bad dreams and had always been in danger during his stay in the city.
In the novel, younger Fei Liu was bought by a secret Japanese assassin group that used drugs and poisons on the kids which resulted in intellectual disability but still enable them to train in martial arts. Fei Liu was the youngest in the assassin group and had not been released on any of their missions yet when one day, the group failed in an assassination task and eventually got eliminated, he was left alone to freeze and starve to death until Su Zhe saved him when he was travelling to Japan to find some medical herbs. There shoud be a possibility that during his early days in Japan he found out about the plant and still have it in his memory even after the drugs took effect on him, that explains why he gave it to Su Zhe out of so many beautiful plants in the city! I had this theory because Su Zhe ordered his household to take care of the plant and "will not forgive them" if he finds even a single leaf is missing, then he drank the heart-protection pill from Lin Chen (that very much look similar to the Heavenly Bamboo's red berries!). Knowing that Fei Liu and Lin Chen were protecting him with their own way would make him even stronger and confident to get through the interrogation in Xuanjing Bureau.
[EP38] When Xia Dong said, "Justice is people's hearts. If you still don't repent, even if you kill 10 Mei Changsus it will not solve the problem." i think i once wondered (in my first watch) why they put those words together. Was she implying that Mei Changsu is the symbol of justice itself? Thus, even if they kill him there will always be another Mei Changsus to carry out the duty.
[EP43] Mei Changsu on His Peak of Identity Crisis
I've seen so many reactions from viewers about how people around Su Zhe were so freaking out about his altered appearance while he still looked so damn fine, but i'd like to point out that it wasn't about turning hideous or not that made them horrified, let's see what he had been told about his appearance:
Meng Zhi: "I still can't believe you have become completely unrecognizable. There are no traces of the past." [EP3]
Mr. Shisan: "Heaven has mercy. It allows me to meet Young Master. But after seeing that you don't look like before, i felt so sad.." [EP8]
Nihuang: "What kind of cruel things, can wipe away all the traces of a person? Making you unrecognizable." [EP12]
Up until here, he had been giving calm and insignificant responses with some self-assuring that he knew best who he was in his heart. But not until Consort Jing said this in this ep: "If your father or mother could see the hardships you have taken upon yourself, this heart would die of heartbreak! Xiao-Shu, you used to look so much like your father..."
I found that very heartbreaking to hear, particularly for a family-loving person like him, to the point he had to state for the first time in the series that "Even though my appearance has changed, but i'm still the son of Lin House." That was the first time he started to doubt his identity, that no matter how much he convinced himself, that even he got his appearance altered to the handsome Hu Ge (LOL), having to live the life being completely unrecognizable and cut off from the once pleasant and normal past would give one's a great amount of despair. His misery regarding his own identity might also supported by how he deliberately made himself seen as a stony-hearted and scheming person, the total opposite of his past self.
[EP45] How did Emperor see Prince Yu as a son?
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After the Emperor told Prince Yu that his mother, Princess Ling Long and her kingdom were just chess pieces for his ascension to the throne, and should be eliminated because they're too dangerous, the last dialogue between them indicating that the Emperor never saw him as the princess' son, that he's much worthy to be called as his son or else the Emperor wouldn't take him home to raise him even allowing him to be adopted by the Empress.
Prince Yu: "Then what about me? What am i?! Am i the small chess piece born from a big chess piece?"
Emperor, sounds as reassuring as he could: "Jinghuan, back then before i became Emperor, the Hua Tribe was already a defeated country. Jinghuan, you are my fifth son. Your birth mother is Concubine Xiang, do you understand, son?"
Prince Yu must then realized that he had misunderstood his father's intention for being secretive about his heritage, that even though he had been so ambitious and cunning in the fights for throne, that when his father had been giving attention to other Princes in favor of their mother*, his father had never forgotten him and kept favoring him due to his abilities or achievements, and never saw him as a potentially treacherous son (the opposite way how Emperor thought of Prince Qi). I must admit i had a bit of sympathy seeing him crying in agony, he's like a frantic child who couldn't control his ambition, who had nothing but power in his head, who went too far just to please his parents, even worse because he fell for advisers that didn't help his moral character to change at all (both Su Zhe and Qin Banruo were just letting him do the bad things, a good adviser should have done the opposite for their lord, shouldn't they?).
*Consort Chen (Prince Qi's mother), Consort Yue (ex-Crown Prince Xian's mother) and Consort Jing (Jingyan's mother) all became Emperor's fav, while Prince Yu had the Empress, she didn't seem to get along at all with Emperor.
[EP45] Nie Feng was actually following Su Zhe for his blood?
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I had always thought he first appeared in [EP16] on the Mount Gu to see Xia Dong when she was visiting his grave, but remember that Su Zhe happened to show up in there too, and remember he was first seen in the capital after so many years not long after Su Zhe' arrival. Coincidence? Fast forward to this ep, he appeared again on Mount Jiu An where Su Zhe joining the spring hunt. I think Nie Feng really had been yearning for Su Zhe's blood (or anyone's who had been contracted with the Bitter Flame Poison?) and tracking him because Su Zhe said that "If he drinks my blood, he will be in less pain!"
[EP46] The kingdom still belongs to Prince Qi?
Emperor was asking for Grand Prince Ji's opinion about Jingyan and whether he had ambition for the throne, and later revealing that Prince Qi is his best son while Jingyan is not, but Jingyan has good points which is he knows how to be humble, while Emperor thinks Prince Qi didn't have that. Grand Prince Ji was then muttering, "So in the end, the kingdom is his. The world is now his, so this divine talent who can obtain the world is also his," i didn't catch the meaning at first so i thought he was referring to Emperor, but Su Zhe clarified it's about Prince Qi. It all makes sense because the best son for Emperor still goes to Prince Qi, and once Jingyan ascended to the throne, he will bring out Prince Qi's aspirations to the world that he learned when they grew up together, making it feels like Prince Qi is reigning again.
[EP46] "We are all one family"
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The fact that Su Zhe saved Prince Yu's wife and unborn son made me uneasy at first as i tried to find out what's his motive behind it. But what if he was encouraged by what Grand Prince Ji said to him? Several minutes earlier, we saw Su Zhe thanked him on behalf of Jingyan for saving Tingsheng, in which Grand Prince Ji answered with "We are all one family, in this world, who is not related?" and that left Su Zhe in silence. If Grand Prince Ji could save his nephew's posthumous son even though he didn't know at all the truth behind his death, why Su Zhe couldn't do the same to his cousin's wife and unborn son, when he knew they're innocence and should be given the chance to live?
[EP46] Yujin and Xia Jiang's son
Grand Prince Ji revealed that if Yujin was born as a girl, he would be enganged to someone's child/ son about his age. Throwback to [EP35], Marquis Yan actually said, "but children all grow up too quickly, if brother Xia's child was still here, he'd probably be like Yujin." Considering the fact that in the past, Xia Jang and his wife were close friends of Marquis Yan, we can assume that Yujin was supposed to engange with Xia Jiang's son.
[EP48] Consort Jing loves Lin Xie?
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Let's see how Consort Jing talked about Lin Xie:
She woefully said to Su Zhe: "you used to look so much like your father..." [EP43]
Lin Xie saved Consort Jing when she was bullied by other physicians, even brought her to the capital and adopted her as a sister, hence for her he's her hero. [EP45]
Lin Xie had other name: Mei Shinan. Jingyan asked, "Which Shin, which Nan?," Su Zhe went with Shi as in stone, and Nan as in "Nan-shu" (Nan tree), but Consort Jing went with Nan as in "Nan-mu" (Nan wood). Why didn't she say "Nanshu" too? [EP46]
In this ep, the Crown Princess asked Consort Jing whether she likes the "Nan-shu" (Nan tree) that she was gazing at. Consort Jing answered with a smile that "Yes. I have always loved (it)." Apparently she didn't use any pronoun and so it's not clear what exactly she was referring to. But then it's even more fishy because she didn't just say "Nanshu" to reply Jingyan's question, i assume she was trying to make him not notice that she planted the tree right outside her room, and how she loves to gaze at it as what had been shown in some previous eps! We would never know the real feeling that Consort Jing had to Lin Xie, but obviously it's more than just a woman admiring her hero/ brother.
[EP50] Su Zhe apparently didn't get rid some of the incompetent ministers, he spared the Minister of Public Works (Prince Yu's side) and Minister of Martial Arts (ex-Crown Prince Xian's side) because they showed change and were willing to work better under the new leader.
[EP50] Remember when Emperor selected Minister's Liu Cheng's granddaughter as Jingyan's wife in [EP47], and it all went according to Xia Jang's plan (he claimed he knew Emperor's likes and thoughts on it). In this ep we found out that he actually planted his spies as her wet nurse and probably some maids. Xia Jiang must have thought he could use the Crown Princess to slip an attack on Jingyan, but she is the fierce one! So satisfying to see her and Consort Jing firing all the maid-disguised-spies!
[EP51] I'd like to point out how it seems not many people, at least in the family, remember about Lin Shu's mother, Grand Princess Jinyang, and how devastating it would be for her to see her family being accused and eliminated by her own brother, until Su Zhe said to Grand Princess Liyang in this ep: "You were very close with your sister. I wonder if she has ever entered your dreams" and in [EP53] Consort Jing asked the Emperor if his sister has ever entered his dream too, like how he had ones of Consort Chen and Princess Ling Long.
The amount of subtle forshadows throughout the series is insane, every dialogue, manner even cinematography does matter to build the dramatic tension and suspense that will keep the viewers turning the page, and i believe i couldn't figure everything out here.
Regarding the ending, i'm one of those who can't think of a better conclusion than what they offered here. I'm used to the tragic ending because some of my favourite series had the lead character died, but that's not entirely ruining the plot, instead i found that helps to create a satisfying and dignified ending.
Honestly in my first watch, i felt like they were just trying to make another irrelevant climax as a reason for Su Zhe's death, but a rewatch changed my perspective as i found that it does make sense to have all the enemy kingdoms attacking the Da Liang all at once, they must had heard the news and royal statement clearing the treason charge of Prince Qi, Lin Xie and Chiyan Army. Jingyan and the officials were busy to investigate, the entire city's focus were diverting on the case, the Emperor fell sick, and the country's defense weakened, every oppurtunist wouldn't just let it go, would they? Unfortunately, we forgot that Mei Changsu is the biggest oppurtunist in this series, a patriot in addition. The light in his eyes when he heard the chance to go back to the battlefield for the country, and how he desperately begging to let him go back to the last place he stood as Young Marshal Lin Shu are so heartbreaking to watch. He indeed brought a light of justice and hope to the country and his loved ones, but none of those could remove all of his identity crisis problem and frequent nightmares of the past, just like the lyric of Loyal Blood Forever Runs Red by Wang Kai that goes: "A decade passes in an instant, yet in his dreams he keeps wandering to the past (十载倏忽过 几回魂梦旧游)."
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While i can say every rewatch makes this series even gets better, doesn't it also make you even harder to move on? Because it does for me. As an avid Asian series viewer, i'm so glad i could find this masterpiece in this lifetime! I wish i can find more series as compelling and wonderful as this one later!!
Note: Some quotes from the series are credited to Lang Ya Bang Team @ Viki
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onlyhereforangst · 4 years ago
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WWR 
Ok y’all if you thought 18x05 was long, you in for a trip. Get ready for lots of caps, lots of not PG-13, and lots of overanalysis. I hope this lives up to the hype since it took me forever and a day (literally almost every minute of the 20 minutes of scenes took practically an hour to breakdown, I have a problem I know). Anyways, let’s get sweaty under the cut because the day ain’t young no more 👇🏼
Their bickering in the car but Nick smiling the whole time is a huge married vibe but also he’s so happy she’s alive and will take any shit she gives him vibe and I’m here for it. Pluuuuus Ellie avoiding nicks question about the phone call 😭 he’s so freaking concerned for her (he’s been through his own version of PTSD), his voice drops all the teasing and he actually opens up a little bit - really wants to make sure she’s ok. He needs to be there for her and ugh poor Ellie, those walls are going back up after that hug- a momentary lapse in her usual self. She’s so far outside of her comfort zone talking about feelings and weaknesses and she immediately deflects. Nick respecting that deflection is also huge growth for him, knows it’s not ok to push through like a person like him would normally do and force her hand. He knows she needs space but also clearly ready to be that ear to listen or shoulder to cry on whenever she needs it.
His joke about notable mustaches only to be the butt of the joke about using the word notable later is hiiiiiilarious. 
Her comment about Zillow 😂 um excuse me ellie you looking for houses and to settle down 👀 but then(!!) Nick pushes her down the stairs first when shots start, getting her out of harm’s way and putting himself in danger like he always does my heart 😩 like he’s still on the stairs by the time she’s in a cell “safe.” And side note damn they are good shots, oof. 
The toilet bowl scene is easily one of my favorites. Nick freaking out over Ellie moving hers and him not being able to had me DYING. Like legit cackling over his worry she’s suddenly way stronger than him 🤣🤣 and then he gets SO pissed they took their car hahaha like so mad he hugs the damn wall in frustration. But then he claims he’ll rip out the bars of the window (you know, to make up for not being able to move his toilet and still prove he’s macho) and Ellie’s comment about superhuman strength & his agreement LOL. His anxiety level of being trapped and more so Ellie being trapped is getting to him already. He is reaching for any possible way to get them (read: her) out of there safely it doesn’t matter that the plan sounds outrageous. Cue him moving back to pissed and breaking the toilet with his damn foot like 🥵 we get you strong Nick but no need to show off. Hot damn. His “I really think we’re stuck in here” after that IDK why but had be laughing again. I’m pretty sure I said “no shit Sherlock” at my TV watching live because thank you Captain Obvious. 
Aaaaaand then when she pauses and finds the bomb bricks but goes so quiet oooooof he’s on high alert. You can practically hear his heart pounding and then he goes and starts panicking slightly when she doesn’t respond with our first use of a first name, “Ellie we have a wall between us, what is it?” But his tone is so frantic and his eyes are darting around putting the whole picture together and my heart aches for him. He’s starting to realize just how helpless he is to save her. The exact thing he likely swore he’d set out to never let happen again (Ellie in danger) after last episode, is happening again. And this time, it’s not like he can go hunt the guys down, he’s quite literally stuck. Helpless with no way out. Aaand here’s where Nick starts to lose his patience. Pissed at himself for not saving her before, not being able to save her now. Pissed at everything. He cannot comprehend how she is in this situation AGAIN and he can do nothing. But oh lord, he doesn’t even realize it’s about to get worse...
Him brooding over this crappy situation in a corner and being the cautious one is so unlike him (but also so telling as to how unnerved he is by her being in danger once again and not wanting to do anything to make it worse) and Ellie calls him on being “so careful, cowboy” and hot damn again she really does like a man in uniform doesn’t she??? 👀🔥 and she not picky on the type of uniform either 😏 but Nick immediately deflects because he’s not *quite* ready to talk feelings so let’s get down to business about counting bullets BUT the second Ellie starts to worry again he goes into hyperdrive protective and caring boyfriend partner. Without hesitation he tells her they’re going to figure it out because goddamnit he HAS to figure this out for her. He can’t fail, again. And he’s so so SO worried about her & her mental health right now and I sincerely love it. I know Ellie doesn’t want to have that conversation but I stan (I can’t believe I’m using that word, I’m not hip enough for that word) an empathetic boyfriend who supports their significant other when facing mental health issues (like PTSD in Ellie’s case) ❤️❤️❤️ Nick breaks my heart, he wants to be there for her- wants to be the one she feels comfortable enough to open up to and he just gets so dejected when she rejects his probing again (but I don’t blame her, it’s *hard* to open up about these difficult topics), his body language slumped over the bars and tone is just so defeated even if he tries to snap back into his usual Torres self (newsflash it ain’t working bruv because she’s not totally wrong in calling you hovery). Yet naturally he gets annoyed because he JUST CARES ELLIE DAMMIT LET HIM CARE. Like you go through this entire list of him trying to protect you from everything that could go wrong because HE CARES. HE WAS TERRIFIED HE LOST YOU ELLIE. HE TRULY THOUGHT HE’D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. NEVER TOUCH YOU AGAIN. NEVER TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU. HE CARES. AND HE CANT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU AGAIN. HE LITERALLY WANTS TO SAVE YOU (his own words because god damn this show plays with my emotions 😭😭) FROM ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE COULDN’T SAVE YOU FROM GETTING KIDNAPPED AND HAVING TO FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF A PLANE RIGGED TO BLOW. Ok done with yelling for now but man this part gets me. The implications are so important even over trivial stuff. He felt helpless and Nick Torres cannot do helpless, so he tries do to everything else in his power to keep her away from any danger no matter how little it seems. Even hot coffee is too much for his precious babe and while he knows she’s not some delicate, fragile flower- he knows she can hold her own (& has called her a badass as proof), his heart can’t possibly take another explosion on an airstrip. Even if that airstrip is something like a burnt tongue. Ok I die now 😩😩😩
But let’s come back to living because this bullshit Nick “I always tell you what’s going on with me...you ask I tell you” exCUSE ME. Is this the same man who claimed he was being overprotective and that Ellie was like a sister to him?!???!! Yeah, I call bullSHIT that you tell Ellie what’s going on with you. (And Ellie calls BS too, btw buddy). 
But when Ellie finally decides to open a little I love it. I think she finally understood at least just a bit that he just, simply cares about her & her well-being. So she gives him a tiny taste of what she’s going through. And god Nick’s face when he understands the gravity of what she’s having to face mentally. Like I know he knew but I don’t think he knew just how bad. And you can just see that hatred towards his perceived failure turning inward once again as the mood shifts in these cells to somber. Plus Ellies last comment here with them *needing* to find a way out of there- girrrrrrrl poor baby girl 😭 she’s struggling so hard right now and trying so hard to not let it show and not let it get to her but you know she’s terrified. You know she’s desperately triggered. UGH Ellie 💔💔
We cut to Ellie desperately trying to figure out a solution to getting the fuck outta there and once again my heart aches for her triggered self. Nick seems desolate and frustrated, shutting down slowly as it seems less and less likely they’ll get out. Buuuuut then the GUM. Ahahahahahah Ellieeeeeee how do you know about that last piece of gum for “breath emergencies”??? AHHHH this man’s jeans are so damn tight (& yes trust me I would know, I observe) but like also you staring at a spot on said tight jeans that’s only maybe five inches from a different outline 👀👀👀 GIRL I FEEL YOUUUU. GET. IT. Plus she knows exactly what he calls it and I freaking love that. His excuse for why he has to save it is also hilarious 🤣 his breath emergency later hmmm doubt you wanted to save it to MacGyver something Nick sooooo you got another thing in mind?? 😏 and then LMAO it’s mushy because his pants are sweaty I’m rolllllling. Your pants too tight Nick? (this is not humanly possible btw) ALSO is this why later Ellie says she expected Nick to be more sweaty??? If it is and now rewatching I kind of feel like it is, omg what a great callback on her part 🤣🤣
Nick trying to coach her on the proper way of opening the cell door is hilarious because bitch which one of you was able to move their toilet Nick 👀😂 but oh damn now it’s when shit goes downhill fast. 
Nick not being able to see anything and his frantic questioning is amazing compared to Ellies absolute panic realizing she is once again facing down a bomb. I feel like her calming breaths are a coping technique Jack has been helping her with but man kill me now, Nick’s face?? When he realizes what he thought was helplessness earlier has just shot yo exponentially??? Oof with a capital O. This poor man needs a damn drink and yet all he can have is a club soda boy I *feel you* on that (side note #letsgetthisbabyoutmybellyasap). His woman has gone and gotten herself into another bomb encounter for the second time in a week. And he CANT DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. Can you imagine the absolute inner (and outer, give it a sec) freak out he’s having?? He wants to save her from hot coffee for Christ’s sake and now he can’t save her from a rigged bomb. Talk about a shitty situation. 
I just love the Torres Teachable Moment little discussion. Like Nick’s smirk gets me. I really don’t think he knew she had a name for it or realized that she caught on to what he was doing (trying to help her grow as an agent without being obvious or “degrading”). And then we move on to comparing arm length and I crack up 😂 “my arms are longer than yours” and “no they’re disproportionately short for your body” HAHAHA like what the hell have you guys been doing to know this?? Do you stand *that* close together with your arms down to know their lengths comparatively and how much do you stare at Nick, Ellie? Daaaaaaamn. From his gum to his arms to his body I see you 👀 I’m not hating tho I would too 😏 I think what I loved most about this whole jail scene (aside the ending obvs) is the quick flipping back and  forth from joking & teasing to dead serious & worried. Like they’re both trying so hard to keep it above board and light- trying desperately not to think of the implications of what’s happening but then (usually Nick) those intrusive thoughts sneak through and he can’t help but redirect them back to serious. It shows their inner warrings with themselves and just how hard this is for both of them. How much they want to appear strong and unflappable but they both know deep down the whole situation is eating away at them. And Nick bringing up her standing on a bomb only moments before he tells her he’s going to shoot the wall- OOF. Ellie’s genuine terror for him injuring himself and her then not being able to do a damn thing about it because she’s standing on a FREAKING BOMB is so painful to watch. Like she’s stuttering she can’t get it out fast enough, she needs to stop him, she can’t fathom him getting hurt while she’s helpless (uh, hello there theme of the episode how have you been). Nick’s facial expressions through this scene are also so telling. He goes from “this isn’t a big deal” to “oh shit she’s panicking” to “holy shit is she going to open up, is she really talking about this” to “fuck it’s my fault she had to go through that and it’s tearing me up inside every second” to “hooooooly fuck is she about to say what I think she’s about to say?? Is she about to confirm what I know deep inside but am too afraid to say aloud?? Is it true??” And ELLIE OH ELLIE. Reliving that *has* to be hard, has to. To finally bring it up after she’s been dodging it all damn day...you know the thought of him getting seriously injured had her more than rattled. And she cracks open those cement walls around her heart so briefly, the glimpse in it provides I think a turning point for Nick. Finally seeing that it’s not just him, she’s in deep too. Even if she can’t say it, can’t say she was fighting to see him again 😩💔 he knows. She says he only has one bullet left and to save it and they’ll figure some other way with tears in her eyes my HEART. But Nick gets it. Nick gets it because he’s been in the exact same situation. His eyes as they process the implication of her words and the fear for his life running through them 🥺 his simple “ok” is so unlike his normal self, you just know he’s once again doing anything and everything he can for. Even if that means standing down and not fighting for his way (the natural instinct for him). He knows what she needs is reassurance he won’t accidentally shoot himself. So he does it 😭 But him pacing (as a man of action suddenly faced with forced inaction) & Ellie begging for an inventory over and over (a woman of logics and data faced with PTSD) is so painful. You can tell they’re both struggling and neither wants to admit it but also they both need to do something - for Nick that becomes finally deciding to shoot a foothold in the wall and for Ellie that meant trying to go over their facts again and again but suddenly she’s once again terrified Nick is going to injure himself. The one man she fought to see again might hurt or even kill himself and she can’t do a damn thing because she’s standing on a bomb for fuck’s sake. Aaaaaaand cue the blow up. Cue Nick voicing his worst fears of Ellie accidentally triggering the bomb. Cue Ellie getting defensive because she’s so damn used to be babied and treated like she can’t take care of herself. Cue the “overprotective hovery man crap” line that had me rolling on the floor (tbt ROFL). Cue Ellie calling herself a girl but Nick calling her a woman like DAMN get me where it hurts Nick- that right there is a man who respects the living hell out of this fiiiiiiine representation of a woman in front of him 🔥. Cue Ellie saying because I’m “me” like um FUCK YES IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE YOU AND HE’S TOO SCARED OF LOSING YOU ELLIE. Cue Nick finally losing his shit and getting reeeeeealllllllll like hallelujah do you hear the church bells?! Even Ellie knows to finally pause and listen. Nick never loses it on her, never. She knows this shift is serious and it’s happening. And omg his confession can I just have a moment of silence for the GROWTH.
Thank you, it needed commemorating. The same Nick who didn’t belong to a team is the Nick that is out here claiming he can’t sit idly by while the love of his life might get blown up again. He’s NOT OKAY WITH THAT AND NEITHER AM I. NOT AFTER THIS GODDAMN SCENE. His head bob accentuating just- how- important this is to him is so in character (thank you Wilmer) and theeeeeeen shoot me the way he has to fucking collect himself from almost crying. The emotion- there just aren’t words. Literally he has to look up to the sky and blink back those tears you know are threatening to fall at the thought of the woman who he still *technically* hasn’t told that he loves her could potentially die, again, for the second time in a week. So guess the hell what? He’s telling her (sort of). He’s telling her he would do anything, anything, put himself in danger’s way if it meant there was even the tiniest chance it would save her. Pardon the callback but- HE WOULD RISK HIS LIFE TO SAVE HERS. DON’T YOU REMEMBER ELLIE. YOU SAID I KNOW. DO YOU KNOW NOW. DO YOU. BECAUSE GOOD LORD CAN YOU MARRY THIS MAN ALREADY BEFORE I DIVORCE MY HUSBAND AND DO IT (jk love you honey 😘). But like damn, she knows it now. That look- she bites her lip and has tears in her own eyes at the realness she can feel even through a cement block wall. It’s a feeling she’s not used to. She isn’t used to being a person someone would literally risk death for. She doesn’t think she deserves it (sip on that like whiskey, mull it over, let it sink in & cry about it). Even if she knows she doesn’t need saving (and so does Nick), she finally realizes it isn’t about that. It isn’t about he feels like she can’t do it. It’s about the overwhelming pull that your life isn’t greater than the one you love. That love, real true love, is knowing you would do anything for that other person (and they the same) because the world would be worse off without them in it. And Nick will never be okay with a world without Ellie. Never. Their joint quiet after his confession is so powerful. There’s no claims of falsehood, there’s no trying to quip back at him, there’s no trying to stop him. It just settles into the room- into their hearts. They’ve crossed a line and it means so, so much. Nick can feel a weight lifted off his shoulders as he loads his gun and gets ready and Ellie can feel a weight settle on hers from the need to reciprocate. And not out of pity, it would be out of truth. But she knows it isn’t the right time. She knows she has to do it, and she will. She held back earlier when she couldn’t say she was fighting for Nick, but his outburst and confession gave her the courage in this scene. She finally has confirmation she means to him like he means to her. And she has to know, she has to know if he means it or if it was heat of the moment so when the dust settles she inquires, “what’s going on over there?” A pulse check. A way of asking without asking—did you mean that? And the shock of confirmation of her face as Nick, dead as a doornail serious says, “close calls make you live harder”….holy hell. That’s the moment it snaps for her, everything snaps into place—the agony he’s gone through not only this week, but the past couple years of close calls. He’s done beating around the bush, he’s living harder, he’s going all in, he’s getting what he wants. He refuses to let anything like a damn jail cell rigged to blow stand in his way. And she knows, she knows just how important she is to him. He might not have said those three words, but that phrase- that phrase was a direct window into Nick Torres’ soul. And by god I love it. 
But Nick pulling a prank on Ellie like that is also so Nick- the little shit. The genuine concern in her voice when she yells his name 😭 like dude, her worst fear, something causing ongoing trauma in her head right now is the ONE THING you decide to tease her with??? I should expect nothing less but damn that’s low 😂 her checking on his status update with Gibbs though feels like such a role reversal from earlier and it cracks me up, side note. 
When they’re getting ready to stand down the returning brother and Nick gets in position next to the wall but can’t even look ahead- he’s just staring at Ellie, oof. In that moment he’s brutally and painfully aware she can’t hide for cover. Not only can she not hide, he can’t cover her because he’s (locked in a cell but also) out of bullets. He’s once again near helpless and the woman he loves (and has now finally kind of told) is a sitting duck. Someone get this poor man a damn club soda, I repeat. 
And the little talk between the two parties- I love that Ellie takes point. Love that Nick lets her. Like damn that’s a supportive partner right there and I 👏🏼 AM 👏🏼 HERE 👏🏼 FOR 👏🏼 IT. He knows she can handle this shit and he will willingly let her. But nooooooowwwww weee gettinggggg to the goooooood paaaaaaart. 
Ok first, “good to see you” - this man has missed her face. Straight up dying to see her in the flesh. Just listening to her voice and not seeing the emotions written on her face is not enough. Seeing her alive, smiling at him, he needed it. But of course, let’s keep it light, act natural Nicholas. 
“I thought you’d be sweatier” - excUUUUSE ME ELLIE. Not only did you just call out his reference to his sweaty jeans earlier, you also WANT TO SEE HIM SWEATY DON’T YOU. THAT SMIRK SAYS YES DON’T LIE. And honestly, I don’t blame you shhhhh.
“The day is young” - can I get another excUUUUSE ME NICK. Words- they don’t- function. Because that knowing smile of hers- SHE’S OKAY WITH IT. GET YOUR MIND OUT THE GUTTER YOU TWO THERE’S A HOMICIDAL MAN UPSTAIRS. YOU’VE GOT TIME TO GET SWEATY TOGETHER TONIGHT YOU HEAR ME. THAT DAY IS YOUNG AND SO ARE YOU SO GET THOSE BRICKS AND THEN YOU CAN GET TO BANGING LATER. I just fucking can’t with their smirks. I can’t. This isn’t the normal banter, this is the fuck me banter and I’m okay with it. Because right after the I-wanna-get-in-your-sweaty-jeans banter we have Ellie putting her HAND ON HIS GD HIP AS HE PASSES ONLY TO MOVE UP TO BOTH SHOULDERS. AND THEEEEEEEN HOLY HELL SOMEONE LIGHT A MATCH BECAUSE THIS BITCH ABOUT TO EXPLODE FROM SEXUAL TENSION. Is it possible to rewatch this scene a thousand times in slo-mo and still not have watched it enough? Because that is me. That will always be me. How are they so in tandem, so in sync as they look up mere inches from each other- directly into the other’s eyes knowing exactly how serious this situation is and yet pausing to freaking gaze longingly (read: have eye sex) at each other. And I’m sorry Nick looks down at her lips like three times??? For a good while too?? Sir nothing you said required you to look there. nothing. And also there’s no way his hands aren’t on her I thiiiiiiink they’re on her upper arms (based on the last shot as he’s walking to get the bricks) but like hold her tight Nick please. Also while Ellie doesn’t look at his lips (in this scene) holy shit those are some come-hither eyes if I’ve ever seen them. “I’m sure” ABOUT YOU. SHE’S SURE ABOUT YOU NICK. SHE’S SURE SHE’S READY TO GET SWEATY WITH YOU NICK. Like literally, this girl had been leaning up against the cement wall for a looooong time before he has to pass her and now, NOW that Nick has to pass her- SHE STANDS UP TALL. TO GIVE HIM NO SPACE. WHILE SHE’S STANDING ON A BOMB. BITCH YOU WANTED IT. That was a damn power move Ellie and I am not mad about it. She so easily could have leaned back, given him a ton of space to get around, but nooooooo she stands right there, middle of the tight opening and says yes Nick come get 1mm from my face, touch me here, touch me there, touch me everywhere don’t care 👀 while you pass. I’m sure I’m okay with it because you’ve just eye fucked me and it’s exactly what I wanted. And I mean come oooooooon just the underlying emotion behind both of their words. Nick isn’t just asking if she won’t move her foot- it’s his way of asking if she’s ok and she looks SO much better, more relaxed now that he’s with her. The tense, anxiety-ridden Ellie that was asking for inventory or snapping about him being overprotective, is now at ease despite still standing on said bomb- all because Nick is right there with her and if that doesn’t make you 🥺😭 I don’t know what will. Like she can’t even take her eyes off of him even after rude brother interrupts this gold moment of theirs until Nick has already completely turned his head towards the dude. She’s just so relieved to see him standing there, so close to her, feeling his warmth underneath her hands again. 
Side note to prove my earlier point, when Nick casually reaches through to throw the bags of bricks through the door Ellie is leaning on the wall and THERE’S SO MUCH ROOM. HE COULD HAVE EASILY PASSED. 
Nick looks like he literally wants to murder the guy, enraged that he’s the one who put Ellie in this situation again. We would’ve seen swan!Nick if it wasn’t for Ellie choosing this moment to finally share her feelings. Because remember- she’d decided she was going to reciprocate but knew it wouldn’t come off the right way before. Now’s the time. Now when the immediate threat to their lives is gone (excluding bomb of course). Now when they’re alone, they’re together, and she can look him in the eye so he knows she’s serious. He can read the truth in her eyes rather than doubt her words said across a jail cell wall. 
“This isn’t about me, it’s about you” - well damn that got your attention didn’t it Nick??? So used to putting Ellie first, putting yourself second its weird to hear it come from someone else isn’t it? That someone is worried for your safety? That someone needs you living and breathing just as much as you need them doing the same? His eyes immediately change from Imma kill this man to did I just hear this woman right. 
“I’m not okay with you getting blown up either” - first off, the parallelism is what makes this absolute *chef’s kiss* because Nick has literally zero chance of being blown up if he runs after this dude. Shot? Yes. But blown up? No. Ellie has chosen these words precisely to call back to what Nick said earlier. To make sure he’s aware she understood the weight of his earlier confession and is making the same one. They are on equal footing- their feelings are not only reciprocated but just as strong as the other. She could’ve said anything else but choosing his exact words was so poignant in the moment. It’s like the difference between saying “I love you” & “I love you too” compared to “I love you” & “I really care about you.” And the way she says it with such confidence, she isn’t playing around, she didn’t even *have* to bring up their previous conversation, she’s got determination etched across her face with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She means this, and it’s dying to bust out of her. And so the shock to Nick’s system is quite frankly understandable. This is Ellie - someone who hours ago didn’t even want to tell him who she was trying to make a phone call to. Ellie who has walls the size of Mt. Everest erected around her heart. Ellie who could have brushed off his earlier comments said from the safety of a cement wall between them. But no. This Ellie is all-in, she’s ready to own up to her side. She’s ready to lay it on the line just like him. Equal footing. If Nick is ready to jump, then so is she. And he’s just so taken aback- glancing at her lips, blinking through the shock as he processes. Processes the weight of her words on their relationship. He knows he could laugh it off, make a joke about his superhuman strength not allowing him to get blown up, or he could man up and take them both forward. Ellie doesn’t even flinch under his stare, if anything she becomes more confident, more resolute in her words and her stance. Her eyes searching his for what his reaction will be and for a brief moment I swear there’s a tiny bit of worry, a tiny bit of unease that he wasn’t ready for her to repeat his words back to him. 
“Well, what are we gonna do about that?” Oh YOU HEARD. That smirrrrrrrrk Nicholas stop iiiiiit, Eleanor’s standing on a bomb you don’t need to light her on fire!! Because this is a challenge, a goddamn challenge. Staring straight into her soul saying, “oh you want me and I want you? How about we blow this popsicle stand and go get fucking sweaty ok? Because that’s what I want to do about that 👀🔥🔥🔥” and not only is the smirk sexy as hell but it’s also got this glint of elation. Like he could not be happier she said those words back to him. That he finally took Ziva’s advice, wasn’t a wuss and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT IT PAID OFF. But his words also tell of a little nervousness. And not necessarily in a bad way, more as in a leaving it to her way. Putting her in the driver’s seat of this relationship knowing it’s where she’ll feel most comfortable. Given all she’s been through, like all of it not just the past week, he knows that she needs to be in control of how fast they move. And once again his chivalry and thoughtfulness of her is just- I cry. He doesn’t just assault her with what they should do next, he leaves it for her to decide. For her to weigh in on how far and how fast she wants to take them. And by the little shy smile Ellie gives him- she knows what he means. She knows her words have hit their mark and that he respects her enough to let her lead the way. And now she has to make her decision, a decision we DON’T GET TO SEE BUT I’M NOT BITTER IT’S FINE. But a decision nonetheless. 
I honestly go two ways on this- the most obvious of hell yes they kissed right then and there and started *something* and then the bitter realistic one of they were probably interrupted by Gibbs (who was literally outside like right then based on timing) but also may have just continued to stare into each other’s eyes- still slightly taken aback by everything they just shared and what it means for them. Still unsure of how they “work” as people who *love* each other, not just partners. Having that reality sink in as they continue to face off and wait for a rescuer. That reality sinking in could lead to obviously very good things (that we better see on our screen or I will fucking riot) or a slight nervous closing-off. Like not quite closed off closed off, but a tiny retreat when the gravity of the day falls down on both of them. I don’t think either will believe they only said what they did because of the situation/moment they were in, but it’s still a lot to deal with after all is said and done. I sincerely hope they unpack this in the coming episodes and give us some direction of what happened after that jail cell scene. 
I love the Torres told McGee about what happened today and I’m so curious about how much detail he told him lol but I also love that McGee has now received genuinely good advice from Torres twice now (the one about the reunion and now this). Just goes to show you the brotherly bond they have ❤️ but also that the advice was the same advice he literally lived out that day. Close calls make you live harder, almost as an affirmation to himself (Nick about what happened), but as something he knew McGee needed to hear too- they all do. 
And then this bullpen scene - one, how far of a time jump is this and whyyyyyyy won’t they telllll meeeeee. They hate me. Two, Ellie coming over so close just to hand off a file that he doesn’t even look at 👀 three, THEIR SMIRKS. WHAT DO THEY MEAN. Because Nick is holding back the world’s biggest smile as Ellie gets close to him and Ellie is just all nonchalantly checking him out with a brief eye-sex scene. Like damn this fine man doesn’t want me to blow up and I don’t want him to blow up either 🔥 Now does this mean they absolutely got together and did the nasty after they got out of that cell? Of course not. We can only dream, and write fics. This ending scene is very reminiscent of what NCIS loves to do with their power of open-ended persuasion at the end of an ep, see On Fire for example. The ending music and comments combined with the shot of Gibbs leaving in the elevator is literally there to try and persuade you that he killed Xavier. In this ep, the ending music and voiceover combined with their looks at each other is there to try and persuade you they totally got it oooooon. Not to say they didn’t, but I don’t trust NCIS one damn bit. 
All in all, cannot *wait* to see where they take ellick the rest of the season. Emily hyped this ep and man, she did NOT disappoint. Let’s see that shift that is going to ripple for the rest of the season now like Wilmer promised 🤞🏼
Oh and my only side note because this was insanely insanely long and if you’re still reading I’m proud of you for hanging in there with me & my screams into the void, send me an ask screaming back it’s ok I’ll love you for it—waaaas the whole team poking fun at Torres for using the word notable was downright hilarious. That and Gibbs trying to do everything himself, I can’t. Comedic gold. I love. I would go from dying of laughter to intense emotions so fast in this ep I got whiplash and for that, I am thankful to Gina. She always delivers 🔥
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claudia-kishi · 4 years ago
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Thoughts on Joan Watson & Sherlock
anon if u sent me both of these i’m going to need u to pay for my pain.
so. joanlock. JOANLOCK. where the fuck do i even begin. joan watson alone is like. top tier, god tier, i love you mother thank you for raising me. and their relationship is like fucking. perfect. i don’t give a shit about the writing of the show past s1!!!! i don’t care!!!! they are perfect beyond all the shitty writing!!!!! they are beautiful!!!!!! they are perfection!!!!! the fucking softness of everything. the domesticity. how they live together and just like. SOFT. 
when i tell you when i first watched season 1 i was fucking blown away like i was crying i was screaming like HE NAMED??? A BEE??????????? AFTER? HER????????? top that. robert doherty has written many shitty storylines, but he sure as hell KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK WITH THIS MOMENT. the roof of the brownstone, the bee watching, the bee naming, start anew playing in the background. quite literally. perfection. 
the way that they fucking saved each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she saved his life!!!!!!!!! YOU SAVED MY LIFE JOAN. NOBODY COULD SEE IT BUT YOU!!!!!!!! and how he introduced her to a world that she probably never thought in a million yearssssss that she’d be in. and she’s GOOD at it. and SHE’S HAPPY!!! LIKE SHE DESERVES!!!!! (I’M EMO ABOUT THERE WAS A SPARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 
and and and and AND AND AND AND THE FUCKING WAYS THEY SAY I LOVE YOU WITHOUT ACTUALLY SAYING IT QUITE LITERALLY BREAK ME EVERY TIME. these lines are shit you’d never say irl bc who tf talks like that but the way they execute it make it like HURT. I’M IN PAIN. here’s a list of quotes that quite literally come into my home and murder me 
i’m better with you, watson. i’m sharper, i’m more focused. difficult to say why exactly. perhaps in time i’ll solve that as well 
you have this kind of PULL... LIKE GRAVITY. I’M SO LUCKY THAT I FELL INTO YOUR ORBIT (WHO TF SAYS THIS???????????? FUCKING ART!)
you and i are bound. somehow. (yes i talk about this line 10293801289301928309182 times every day but like LIKE LIKE LIKE CAN’T BE TOPPED??????????????? the SOMEHOW?????? bc he’s perplexed still as to WHY!!!!!! but he knows they ARE FOREVER!!!!!!!)
when sherlock actually DARED TO SAY THE L WORD OUT LOUD???? we’re two people who love each other. always HAVE BEEN. FUCK OFF!!!!!
i’m an emo bitch because they’d never actually said “i love you” even though you KNOW IT and it’s like ALL BETWEEN THE LINES and sherlock has HALF SAID IT BUT JOAN ONLY SAID IT BACK JOKINGLY KINDA BUT LIKE AHHH!!! i can’t be mad at it bc i’m the same. saying i love you irl? disgusting anyways that’s enough on reason 1029301283 why i am in fact joan watson. 
now we’re gonna talk about the lead up to The Hug. bc i’m still an emo bitch. FIRST OF ALL, M!!!!!!!!! THAT FUCKING EPISODE. when she’s like. i think he needs comforting and i want to help him and normally i’d hug the person but that’s not what we are and that’s not what he needs so i will hesitantly and sit next to him and SOFTLY TOUCH HIS ARM TO SHOW I AM HERE FOR HIM LIKE??????????????????????????????? pain. suffering. THEN THEN THEN the scene when sherlock comes back to the brownstone when joan is back home after being kidnapped (fuck off mycrosoft) and when they just STARE. AT. EACH. OTHER. FOR LIKE. SECONDS. FUCK THAT SCENE IS LIKE SO MUCH!!!!!! and she’s like. it’s okay. i’m okay. i’m okay. I’M OKAY. fuck. and then and then and then the actual hugs we get that joan initiates........ remember when we died 4.01. anyways. my fave one is def the one when sherlock comes home from vermont and like just WELCOMES IT like... he’s like yes i’ve been gone for a while hello watson i am ready to welcome a hug. i’m. emo. 
AND THEN THE FUCKING ACTUAL GRAND FINALE (THEIR LAST BOW AKA MY ACTUAL DEATH) this scene personally is like the most painful and tear jerking scene of all time like. i couldn’t even imagine how it was to film for jlm and lucy bc it was like 7 years of friendship!!!!! 7 years of this....... and it was also like a hug goodbye to each other :( :( :( you could honestly feel it like FUCK. and how HER VOICE BREAKS AND HOW HE’S LIKE WHY WOULD YOU NOT TELL ME AND HE’S LIKE I’M STAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how he’d drop everything for her. and the HUG. and how joan’s like i don’t need this i’m okay i don’t need you to be here and then her breaking down and accepting his hug and crying and they’re just both crYING AND THEY’RE BOTH JUST HOLDING EACH OTHER AND WHEN SHE PUT HER HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER LIKE GENUINELY I’M JUST AN ACTUAL MESS ABOUT IT I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT BUT ALSO I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH MY PARENTS.
ok i think i’m done??? honestly????????? i miss them. forever. ugh. rewatch anyone????????? yeah. yeah. s1 forever xoxoxoxoxo
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inevitably-johnlocked · 1 year ago
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Ahhh, some more to add onto this, since I spent Wednesday rewatching the entire series since the trailers implied the last episode will be going back to S1 events, and WOW S1 is so much better with the context of S2 and without the breaks between episodes... Now that I saw all of S1 again, it's so clear that Sylvie was initially taken in by Loki's charm but in the end she only cares about herself. The kiss wasn't romantic at all... it was her manipulating Loki to get what she wanted. I guess I just never noticed before because I always skipped that part whenever I rewatched the series in the past.
Upon rewatching S1, I think Loki is only fascinated with Sylvie because he sees a kindred spirit, and learns to love himself through her. I think the MINUTE she betrayed him, he was hurt and realized that she just DOESN'T care about anyone but herself. So naturally he's going to immediately turn to the one person who ALWAYS took him back even after his own betrayals: Mobius. And I think his worry and panicking of not having Mobius recognize him scares him; it shows his vulnerability and desire to NOT be alone anymore before the confession to Sylvie in E5.
And watching Loki grow as a character, be "tamed" by Mobius and watching their friendship blossom deeper in S2 is SUCH a treat to watch without all the breaks. Like, Loki literally holds himself back until Mobius gives the okay for attacks, and he respects and cares about Mobius. And Episode 5 is fantastic. <3
But yeah, I actually believe now that S1 and S2 were written at the same time or close-to, because they set things up in S1 that foreshadows events in S2. I can honestly say that the writing of this show is probably the best of all the Marvel shows, and as a WHOLE, now rewatching without all the extended breaks, the narrative is really top-notch and there's so many "Chekov's gun" moments that are touched upon in S2 or referenced in S2. It's a great series to binge, for sure. Love it.
Before my final thoughts before tonight's episode, just want to touch upon the notes on the post at the time of writing this (late Wednesday night):
trutrustories said: yes, all of this!!!! And I feel you, OP, watching youtube breakdowns and reviews is soooo FRUSTRATING!!! like... WTF are you watching guys??? :D
HONESTLY, I agree. It was really annoying because it's SO clear to me what's going on ON THE SURFACE and none of the Big Name Reviewers™ are referencing it! ESPECIALLY as the episodes progress. Like their reviews of E1 and 2 were alright... but then gradually ignoring more and MORE of the plot of 3, 4 and 5??? It's so weird.
we-used-to-call-it-slash said: I'm still reading it and I love your blog! Been following you since the Sherlock days but I dropped out for many years after that all ended...like it did. So glad that you're still active! I'm with you on this one. I'm not a huge Lokius shipper but I really don't see the Loki/Sylvie pairing, especially this season. It'll be interested to see how they end things.
Thank you!!! So happy you still enjoy what I have to say all these years later! And yeah, like I casually shipped Lokius in S1, but because it looked like it was going the Sy1k! route, I didn't want to get my hopes up. But as I said above, rewatching with the context of S2 AND without breaks in between episodes, it's clear to me that Sylvie spent the whole season just manipulating Loki for her own means, and that's literally it. Loki was vulnerable to it because – all together now – he is LONELY and desperate for connection and kinship with someone. That's why the nexus event happened on Lamentis, that's why he proposed to Sylvie that they rule together... because Loki believed he found someone who understood him, and trusted him, and then she betrayed him and screwed him over. S1 characters even laughed at the prospect of the romance of them together, and Sylvie kept trying to push Loki away, but she SAW the vulnerability in him – his loneliness and desire to be loved and cared about – and used that against him. The traincar scene is where that lightswitch goes off for her. You can see it.
BUT YES, in S2, we see Mobius CONSTANTLY at his side, and Loki being able to depend on him. It's a HARSH contrast to the sy1k! dynamic they were showing in S1. As I said in the original post, I REALLY hope they go that route in E6. Only thing that has me doubting is Disney and its desire to be in homophobic markets. :/
kiteblue42 said: Yes - hard agree re YouTube reviews. They are not watching for the character interaction which means they are missing half the show! There’s a lazy assumption re Sylvie due to s1e6 kiss (even though that was deception on her part). Loki/ Mobius was mentioned on the Beyond the Trailers review Ep5 (female reviewer…) let’s be honest that episode could have been a romcom so hard to miss… I was sceptical the ship could ever go canon until last week but now they have work to do to avoid it😂
I haven't watched Grace's reviews yet because she's been kinda shitting on all the stuff I like lately so I haven't been checking out her reviews, but it's funny she's the only one of the Big Name ones that pointed it out. The closest another one got was SC, and it was just them SHOWING the clip of Loki grooming himself in their intro, but they NEVER mention the clip at all when they get to that scene. LITERALLY just skipped over the ENTIRE pining scene. It's RIDICULOUS the lengths the reviewers are going to avoid acknowledging Loki's bisexuality and his affection for Mobius.
elodiah said: Fabulous stuff! 👍 👏 👏 I don’t watch episode reviews/breakdowns very often, but I do watch an absolute TONNE of episode reactions each week, and out of all of them for 2x5 so far, only ONE said something about Loki/Mobius by pointing out the collar and hair fixing bit. I can’t believe people can be so blind.
Yes, I was watching initially the reactions to the episodes, and stopped after E3 because the ones I was watching are all Sy1k! shippers and they're SO convinced she's going to come back and rule the TVA with Loki. Ooof. That SCENE ALONE IS SO BLATANT. WHY IS EVERYONE IGNORING IT!!!!!!! If this was ANY man-woman het pairing, that would be something they would all be all giddy about and SHOW it in their breakdowns/reviews/reactions.
sans-normality said: huge agree on the YouTube breakdowns - I watched them when s1 aired and they were okay then and they've been fine for other shows, but not only are they skipping the lokius relationship entirely despite it being the central relationship of the show, they'll have plot interpretations that are the exact opposite of what's happening in the episodes?? it's so frustrating, like they're watching an entirely different show lol
YES, I got into them with WandaVision, and have watched the breakdowns loyally since then, but for Loki S2, they're just completely ignoring the LITERAL heart of the show. AND YES OKAY I THOUGHT I WAS NUTS when they're saying one thing about the episodes and I'm just like... "that's... literally not what happened? Sylvie LITERALLY blamed them all for the problems she caused??" Like, they were saying MOBIUS caused all these problems??? Ooof.
=====
Thank you guys for the discussion!!! So looking forward to the final episode. Some things I'm hoping they touch upon:
That WEIRD moment between X-5 and Dox in E1, what the HELL was that?? Just seemed out of place
Loki and Mobius having A Moment Together™, and Loki confessing everything he did to Don to HIS Mobius, or at least another hug.
Loki ruling over the TVA WITH his friends – NOT ALONE, because then why the hell did the spend 2 seasons pointing out how alone he feels and pointing out that he wants companionship – and becoming the God of Stories.
The trailers lead me to believe we're going back to Lokius' first meeting, and I hope that that doesn't mean that Loki is just going to like push everyone away "for their own happiness" (because it was kind of hinted at in E5 that Loki wants them happy and he thinks they'll be happier without him)
That Sylvie gets the quiet life she desires so much. I do genuinely want to see her happy, I just wish she'd stop making everyone else hate themselves because she's selfish about what she wants.
There's been speculations about what the Pies actually are (Soylent Green reference, basically, I'll leave you to google that yourselves 😳) and if they are used as memory wiping tools, with addictive properties to it. They've put a LOT of effort to centralize those pies this season, so just interested to see if that gun pays off somehow.
There's more, I'm sure. Primarily I want Lokius canonized, and for the reviewers to eat their own fricking words, but anyway.
Continue discussing below!! I love that there are so many of y'all also watching the show and are also as frustrated with the reviewers as I am, LOL. Please note that there will possibly be spoilers in the notes past today's reblog.
I will reblog with a final thought before queuing after E6 airs. :)
(also as an aside edit, anyone else amused as I am that all the recaps are blatantly ignoring the kiss from S1? I think it's because they're gonna show it in E6's, and then retcon it away if the behind-the-scenes snippets I saw on Twitter are any indication... because Loki realized that it was a manipulation tactic that calls back to S2E1)
EDITED THURSDAY MORNING TO ADD: I am SO fucking amused that, as a counter to those YouTube reviewers, I see that Big Name Article Writers are believing that Lokius is canon, and they kind of shade the people who are reading the series differently (one not-so-subtly reminded everyone that Sylvie is Loki and that's kind of weird)??? kinda funny LOL. I saw three articles last night talking about all the rom-com tropes in Episode 5 and how it was all Loki and Mobius, LOL. So excited to see tonight's episode, LOL.
EDIT #2: MOBIUS IS LEFT HANDED. I didn't realize until I rewatched yesterday! Like they could hold hands and still do important things!!!
Loki S2 Pre-E6 Thoughts
So I know that this is totally random content to give to y'all this morning, but I wanted to post up my thoughts about the series before its final episode airs tomorrow. I have, in the past, talked about my thoughts on S1 and how I really did like it until the last 5 minutes of Episode 6 and how out-of-nowhere-forced the Sylvie/Loki kiss felt (I was physically cringing about it).
Given how S1 ended, I was a bit wary about S2, but decided to watch it anyway, and holy hell I think Season Two is KNOCKING it out of the park. I'm loving it as much as I loved Moon Knight, and it's right up there now in my top 5. The episodes are SO cinematically beautiful, well written and flow nicely, the characters are all so charming, and the Mobius/Loki relationship is being built up so much that it COULD lead to more or canonization in the final episode. During the past 5 weeks, I've been lurking on the meta spaces for Loki on Twitter and Tumblr, and wow the nostalgia I feel for it, it SO reminds me of the hey-day of my Johnlock meta-ing before S4.
I think my only gripe right now with this season is that they wasted Sophia DiMartino... her character Sylvie feels like such a... filler character (like they just put her in there because she was in the first season and they didn't know what to do with her this season)? But I think ALSO she's meant to be a counter-mirror to Loki, to show that he ISN'T like her anymore, that he grew and changed for the better with the positive influences in his life, and unlike her he doesn't WANT to be alone and such. And they're REALLY making her so unlikeable this season for me... I'm glad that it's looking like they're pretty much not going the Sylvie/Loki route (and I honestly don't see how people who ship it think it will canonically turn around at this point), but the showrunners are having her have every interaction between her and Loki rather hostile, demoralizing, or toxic. And rather that, they're countering it by showing a more positive alternative for Loki with Mobius as his potential romantic partner. Which is fantastic because I've shipped Lokius since Mobius came on the screen in S1, LOL. I just think they could have done that in S2 without making Sylvie an unlikeable character (like have her be a cheerleader for them instead?) I dunno. It's a shame because I did like her in S1. Don't like her at all in S2. She's so MEAN to EVERYONE. To Mobius especially, like CHILL girl, let a man stress-eat, JEEZ.
And here's the rant I actually wanted to write this post about because I didn't want to clutter up other people's threads with it: So, every week, I usually watch breakdowns and review videos so I can understand the characters and their comic counter parts a bit better, and usually the breakdowns are really good because they show the nods to comic-canon things and such. But OMG these past two weeks, I had to stop watching the reviews because LITERALLY all of them ship Sylvie/Loki and are trying SO hard to prove that it's canon when the past few weeks it's only been more and more likely that it's not happening.
NONE of Big Name Reviewers (NRS and SC specifically, if ya know you know) acknowledged AT ALL the RIDICULOUS amount of romantic tropes and dopey staring that Episodes 4 and 5 had (Loki watches Mobius through a window the first time he finds him, and the second time before going to talk to Mobius again Loki LITERALLY groomed himself and then stutters like a lovesick teenager. It was very rom-com; and they're skirting around the fact that all the empty places in the TVA that Loki kept slipping to were ALL places that Loki tshared time with Mobius in... I CAN GO ON FOREVER HERE, AND AND AND that Loki is constantly panicking if he can't find Mobius). LIKE. NONE OF THE REVIEWERS, who literally break down all the episodes and point out shit like All That for het-ships, just won't acknowledge any of it!! They glossed over both Loki's and Sylvie's bisexuality confirmations in S1, and only briefly mentioned their genderfluidity in the comics and in actual mythology. I usually watch the breakdowns because I'm not familiar with comic lore so I find it interesting to learn about those backstories, as well as little details they find, but they've been dropping the ball ALL season, and EVERY one of them mention EVERY single breakdown that Loki just wants to get back to "his one true love Sylvie!!", like what are you smoking?!?!? I was getting SO FRUSTRATED because they skipped over LARGE chunks of E5, especially, just pointing out the surface level stuff instead. I literally turned it off after all that.
THAT ALL SAID, since episode one it's been clear that Sylvie wants NOTHING to do with Loki – she just wants to live a quiet simple life. Then when shit goes bad, she blames Loki for all the problems SHE caused, shits on Mobius every chance she gets, and then in that bar scene when Loki's bearing his soul to her, telling her that he wants his friends back and DOESN'T want to be alone, she basically is like "tough titties" and leaves him ALONE, showing she's not a friend at all.
But the reviewers literally just gloss over all of this. ANYWAY.
Ugh, sorry about that, that's been eating at me for like 3 weeks and last week's reviews finally just pissed me off so much because even casually watching the show I could see all this shit. I only REALLY started believing Lokius could happen after Episode 4 aired, and then Episode 5 had me reeling.
I am DYING to write meta about every episode as it comes out... I just feel that other people are writing better stuff than I could, and much faster than I have time for, and really it's nice to be on the reader side of things for a change. I just... don't want to add in my own two cents to their posts because I'd feel I'm intruding, is all.
I have lots of hope about where Episode 6 will go... like I'm feeling pretty good about them canonizing Lokius... However... I'm not gonna be disappointed if it doesn't get canonized simply because this is Disney and I am REALLY not thinking they're going to explore Loki's comic-canon genderfluidity and sexuality on a surface level.
Good thing I eat subtext for breakfast LOL. I lived through BBC Sherlock, hahah. BUT... can I get a third ship canonized in one year??? Is it wishful thinking? Oh, for sure. I hope so. I would be so happy if Disney even ACKNOWLEDGED that they love each other But I'm not expecting it. I'll be happy with another hug at least, or a forehead touch or hand holding. I'm a simple gal.
Honestly though, I do inevitably want the last episode to have Loki as the ruler with his friends, because they built up to this for 12 episodes, I DON'T want an unhappy ending for the sake of a twist or whatever. Truly let him be the Loki Who Remains (a callback to Episode One) as the Keeper of Time with Bea, O.B., Casey, and Mobius at his side <3
I LOVE the character development of Loki in this series, too. I legit didn't really care for Loki all that much in the MCU, but this series did the same to him for me that FatWS did to Bucky for me: Make me want to see MORE of them and their adventures with their new friends.
Anyway, thanks for reading and indulging me, I mostly just needed to get that rant out about reviewers and wtf people still think Sy!ki is happening. Feel free to discuss in the notes, I plan on posting a reblog with final thoughts after it airs on Thursday <3
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dadlezal · 4 years ago
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As I’m very new in this fandom, I’d like to add a very long comment about this Sherlolly ship. But, at the very beginning, I’d like to say I love your works, Mathilde. Your videos make people think and binds different moments of the show into one picture. They’re masterpieces.
Everyone keeps talking about the second “I love you”, but I think there are at least two moments from the last episode that are equally important.
1.      “If it’s true, just say it anyway”
Just look at his face when he says it. Of course, the entire sick situation is about Molly loving Sherlock, he figured it out himself (as the only one person in the room), but the moment Molly says “Because it’s true”, Sherlock’s face changes – it softens, as if it was THIS MOMENT when he truly realized what she meant, what it all REALLY meant. This was the moment Sherlock realized how difficult it is to say someone you love them, not knowing if they love you back, or worse, knowing they DON’T love you back. How difficult it is to talk about your feelings. No wonder she says: “You bastard” – she couldn’t have seen his face and voice can betray you. She also discovered he really did know about her feelings and maybe thought he tried to manipulate her once again, brutally using her weakness for him for another sick game. And maybe, just maybe, his voice softens and lowers because he wants to finally face the truth.
  2.      “What?”
As a person who likes watching a lot of cop shows (especially “The Mentalist”), I can assure you that this is the face someone makes when they’re forced to do something that will reveal the truth about them. Something they want to hide. Something that was hidden inside them and they have been repressing it for a long time. They subconsciously know it’s going to be painful and that is why it’s so hard for them to reveal it. Besides, this time it’s Molly Hooper who plays a game with Sherlock, not the other way around. She stands up to him once again. The same way she said he always says horrible things, the same way she slapped him in the face when he got into drug addiction, the same way she ignored his warning voice when she started talking about the way her father used to hide his sadness. I think that she used to give up to his charms and manipulations very easily but she gained a sort of immunity against it over the time. So, saying “What?”, Sherlock shows his astonishment that she was so tough when he thought she would be vulnerable. It also shows that he got even more scared. He had to not only save her life, but reveal his feelings.
  So, the first try comes out a bit insincere, dry. But once he says these words, just to save Molly’s life, he comes to a realization: maybe he doesn’t have to lie. Maybe it doesn’t have to be insincere. We don’t know what was in Benedict Cumberbatch’s head, we don’t know what he thought about their relationship. Of course, there are many people who use the writers’ words as arguments: the thing that is between them is only a friendship. Alright, but we are all allowed to interpret everything the way we want, including actors (the best example is Jim Parsons in “The Big Bang Theory” and the way he plays Sheldon as if he was autistic). Interpreting is not about discovering the author’s intention, but discovering the parts of our experience and ourselves in what we read/hear/see. And I think it’s pretty ugly what they said about Molly: that this “I love you” scene magically helped her move on, she went and banged some random guy and everything was alright. No wonder why Louise Brealey herself got mad at them. This kind of devotion is not easy to get over with. She loved him, truly loved, loved him the way Irene Adler wouldn’t understand. This is why John Watson says: “I want you to be examined by the first person who learned to see through your bullshit. The last person you would think about”. Of course this time Sherlock remembers about her because she was his leverage against Moriarty, but this proves that even Watson knew – Molly has seen a human in Sherlock before he was ready to admit it to himself. That’s why she was so persistent to show him she knows when he’s sad (the scene with “I don’t count” can be a material for another article). And it took me many hits of the replay button on this fanvid of Sherlolly before I realized what Sherlock meant when he asked her if she helped him if he would turn out be a completely different person – because the entire “fall from the roof” scam proved that Sherlock cares about people, and to explain the plot to her, he had to explain the reason for it – he wanted to save his friends, his family – the “emotional context”. And just so you know, I think that Cumberbatch kind of shows the “softness” Sherlock reveals around Molly. Just for a moment, when you rewatch the show, focus your eyesight on Sherlock from the very first scene with Molly. Camera shows he keeps looking at her even when she turns around. He gives her the “gazes”, longer than expected.
 Not to mention that Sherlock was soft to Molly before he started being soft to John. She’s the only person he said “sorry” to without being forced to do it, even though Molly said exactly the same everybody used to tell him. And, if I’m not mistaken, Sherlock’s “I love you” said to Molly is the first and the only time Sherlock does it on his own.
 And as to the “I don’t count” scene… Sherlock realized there that he wasn’t acting really nice towards her and that is why she assumed he didn’t take her seriously. His reaction was priceless and it was before he realized Moriarty’s plan. Just rewatch the scene and LOOK AT HIM. He was so vulnerable. She got to him. He was the nicest person ever because she made him realize how awfully he was treating her when she was the only person who truly knew him. And when she says: “Do want something? I know you don’t”. A before that, when he says: “What could I possibly need from you?”, he says it only because he’s confused. And it’s not easy to confuse Sherlock Holmes.
 And her bedroom was one of his bolt-holes.
 For me, they don’t have to be together. I think it would be fair for John and Sherlock to be “without girlfriends/wives” as per original stories. I wouldn’t mind if they knew about each other’s feelings without doing anything about them (except for acting awkward around each other and being occasionally sweet/softly-flirty). I’m guessing, as there are rumours about the fifth season being aired in 2022/2023, if the show continues, the writers will have enough decency to explain how the situation was resolved between Molly and Sherlock, and not the ugly way they did it on Twitter. Knowing Sherlock, he would not know what to do with his feelings, how to play it out. If I had to guess, if the writers go the “Sherlock and Molly getting a bit closer” road, they will probably kill her and she will mention their confession from “The Final Problem” within her last breath. Or, maybe, if they decide to finish the show after the fifth season, they’ll show us an open ending? Like, we will be forever wondering: did they or did they not end up together…?
 And I seriously wonder why the authors insist so much on Irene Adler being the only “love interest” of Sherlock. Like… yes, of course, there is a lot of sexual tension between the two of them but it is not romantic. Not even a little bit. Irene provided the proof that yes, Sherlock also has human desires, like sex for instance, but… I don’t see any attachment. I prefer Molly because she brings out the sensitive, vulnerable part of Sherlock, he knows he can be himself, THE TRUE SELF, with her, without having to defend himself with sarcasm and rudeness (he does it often in her presence at the beginning because he knows she is able to see through him but gives up eventually, even more after the roof fall). They remind me of The Hunger Games quote:
 What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses.
 And I think that’s what Molly is to Sherlock.
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