#she reminds me of daedra and how he used to love me

[canisitsnotlupus]

a lot of the times, it is the little things i love about forecast. i lay down when i get dizzy and she lays on the bed beside me, and when i'm finally feeling better and get up to go back to the computer, she gets up too. with a great sigh she moves to lay under the computer desk and goes back to sleep. i do not ask her to join me; i'm fine if she doesn't. it is just across the room, after all, maybe twelve feet, if that, where she can see me clearly from the bed. but she joins me every time.

[aladaylessecondblog]

Blind Azura (by Dagoth Ulen)

Author's Note: This is me working stuff out but it's also got some stuff I'll definitely be using later, so MASSIVE spoilers for Severed Destiny. Mention of gore in one section

---------------------

Mortals are but simple sport to the Daedra Lords. They pull the strings, and you poor fools leap and dance. Why do you serve them? Why do you fall for their honeyed lies? For ages you've yielded to their temptations, their false promises. How soon you forget their treachery, their deceits. None of them deserve the loyalty they receive, and the one I write of now even less so.

Azura of the Daedra Lords is one who has many titles. Queen of Dawn and Dusk, the Mother Soul, Moonshadow, Mother of the Rose, Queen of the Night Sky, and Twilight Queen among them. To this we will now add a new: Blind Azura.

The story of this new epithet is entwined and begins with that of the ones whom she most claimed to love: Lord Nerevar, and his incarnates. But where was her love when Lord Nerevar lay dying? And where was she when his first eight incarnates failed in their various ways? Watching while they did the work. Her love is as negligent as it is conditional - is that, I ask you, a Lord worthy of worship? No. A thousand times no.

His ninth incarnation, our Lady Sadara, was bold enough to see a way forward where others could not, though even Lord Dagoth could not yet conceive of it, for his heart was buried in sorrow. She plucked it from the abyss, blessed it with new hope and light, only to plunge it into the darkness anew upon her death. Azura of the Twilight saw fit to remove her access to healing magics, and thus ensured that death by her malice through the birth of Lord Dagoth's heir. And even in death there was no escape - a constant torment that only ceased when our Lady breathed in life once more.

It was the daughter of House Dagoth, the result of this love and subsequent death, who helped to bring the unmourned House back to its glory.

Sadly it was also she who paid a price of pain for defying the whims of her would-be master.

Thus it was that the circumstances in which Azura earned her next epithet: in the bowels of Oblivion, in a partnership with Dagon that should never have been, Azura sent foe after foe until the daughter of House Dagoth fell to exhaustion. Then began the true torment - but Azura's arrogance and eagerness for vengeance was too great, her focus too single-minded, to notice that she had an audience.

For Lord Dagoth came walking, looking for his lost daughter, aided in some measure by the (we still consider him a false god, despite the 'alliance') one called Vivec. Lord Dagoth desired immediate vengeance, but Vivec in his momentary wisdom saw the disadvantage of enacting it in Oblivion and advised him to take her through the Oblivion gate nearest them first. He retrieved the daughter of Dagoth, and returned her to a place of safety.

And once back in Morrowind, before the very gates of the city of Vivec, Lord Dagoth has his revenge. Not merely for the torment of his daughter but for that of his loves, that of our Lord Nerevar and Lady Sadara. An aeon's worth of retribution was dealt upon her, not the least of which was the removal of her eyes. Lord Dagoth laughed as he clawed them from her, this daedra lord, and asked if she could now see the future her own sin had wrought.

And so now to the list of others we add: Blind Azura.

For she could not see the future which she was herself bringing about, and so paid the price for it - the evidence of which hangs daily about the necks of two of those three whom Lord Dagoth loves best. Symbols, as it were, of his devotion. And reminders to those who think to harm his best beloveds.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Skyrim OC asks! 2, 16, 24, 37 & 39!

The last question has art so...yay? 2. Do they worship any deities, be it aedra or daedra?

Sydari is mostly apathetic towards the gods. Whilst she is a Nightingale and therefore in the service of Nocturnal it's more akin to a business partnership. She grew up with a hard-line Tribunal stan who would spend hours monologuing his own interpretation of their doctrine and deeds. It turned her off worshipping the gods, but also showed her how fallible they actually are. If one person can bring down the strength of the Tribunal (whose strengths were highly exaggerated by Eno) then what's the point in worshipping any? No, she likes this business-style relationship, she gets a great deal out of it and Nocturnal tends not to be the clingy sort.

16. Did they feel sympathy for any villains they came into contact with? If so, who and why?

She felt some sympathy towards Miraak, he was not so different from her (as far as a mortal with a dragon soul goes, they do not do or enjoy similar activities). She could so easily fall for Hermanus Mora's offer, endless knowledge is hard to say no to. But she's seen what it's done to Miraak, how he barely resembles anything mortal anymore and she wants no part in it.

24. Who would they consider their biggest rival?

She doesn't have any rivals per se, enemies yes, but she doesn't really have any true rivals. If anything, her relationship with Maven Blackbriar might qualify. But she sticks to her business, Sydari sticks to hers and they have their contracts. The guild no longer relies on the Blackbriars for contracts, and she likes to remind Maven of that whenever she oversteps.

37. Did you make this character with a certain love interest in mind?

So I wanted to make a Dunmer character to lead the thieves guild, the three love interests came much later. I had almost ignored Teldryn for years before actually hiring him after getting back into Morrowind. I then lost my mind completely and now we have this ungodly mess.

39. Has their character design changed?

She started with white hair initially, I then fiddled around quite a bit before settling on dark red hair. (like 4 playthroughs) She use to have more of a dark grey ring around the red in her eye as well. I first drew her about a year ago with this design.

And this is the design that stuck. The red was much pinker once I painted it and it just stuck. I have since made her skin a little more blue.

Then I thought "Hey a soul gem on a necklace seems kinda cool". So That became a thing, as did her full *casually do not give 2 shits about tits* outfit. (It's just me being jelly about her not having to wear a bra and I guess I like drawing boobs idk). But she also needs an overcoat if she's going outside. I had decided on giving her the throat scar in a previous work that I want to redo, but the voice loss came about after this work...So did the whole Teldryn thing...

So then I played around and settled on all her jewellery, her face shape, eye colour etc. This is probably my favourite representation of how she looks so far. Every artwork afterwards, as well as her in-game design, are based on this look. (I settled on a face reference basically).

And then I decided that all her rings are purple and blue. Her colour scheme Is red, black and amethyst. She now has a side part because I like that, though her hair changes in length a few times in the story.

And then I painted this and decided we have a goddamn fic now.

[queerloquial]

finished gold road yesterday. undecided on how i feel about it

positive:

Son Boy Fennorian. good to see him, good to get a little bit of backstory, the vampire vineyard quest was kinda interesting

very glad they waited this long to do the west weald bc the zone is Great. they've really gotten better at environment design over the last decade

hell yeah mizzik thunderboots, and he comes with a fun murder mystery!

the goblin quest! like yes, Please, let's start looking at the 'monster' races as people with their own cultures rather than just as creatures to mow through. would love to see similar things in the future for, say, the minotaurs, fauns, and giants. would *especially* like to see them + the goblins/goblin-kin as npcs able to speak for themselves

negative:

fuck off with beragon. eveli was fine in wrothgar, but every subsequent appearance has grated on me, and i find beragon even worse. he's not very bright during quests, but not even in a fun way, and he talks So Fucking Slow. when i do quests for the first time i Like to let the npcs talk rather than just click through as fast as i can read, but he got on my nerves after two minutes with how stilted and flat he is

would've actually liked to see more of the recollection and the alleged connection to the ayleids. for the most part, the ayleids are generally reduced down to "they enslaved humans, were over-the-top cruel, and worshiped daedra", so i'd have liked to explore what would come of a 'modern' attempt to re-establish ayleid culture. it seems like the whole thing was just 'nantharion was using a supposed genetic connection to strengthen his claim to a throne, but then we killed him and so now nobody gives a shit about the ayleids again'??

really not digging the way this story only makes full sense if you also bought and played necrom. the chapter + dlc model for telling a full story was one thing, that at least Kind Of made sense and made each year feel self-contained, but tying together two chapters is just outrageous

maybe i just haven't played past main quests in a while but ohhhh boy. can we fuck off with the hand-holding. can we stop forcing npc assistants on quests who are going to cast shitty abilities too late and infrequent to be useful (the only time Any npc was helpful was in the last fight vs ithelia, with leramil's circle that restores ultimate). i got So annoyed being told every five seconds to use the lamp/skein/abolisher. like, you have spent the entire chapter showing me how each mechanic works. i do not need to be reminded Use Your Special Portal Sword every time you present me with a very obvious Portal Specifically To Be Used With The Special Portal Sword. i know what the fuck to do. shut up beragon

torvesard taking ithelia's power at the end felt very "ea told bioware that da2 needed another boss battle so orsino suddenly becomes a villain". i did find his death at ithelia's hand to be kind of touching, the idea of devotion being a corrupting force is appealing to me, but eh. not executed all that well, imo

ithelia is defeated by. showing her a magic mirror that makes her feel bad about. being angry she was exiled, imprisoned, and forcibly forgotten for the crime of existing in a way that makes others uncomfortable. and so she feels guilty and suddenly accepts that she Really Is A Monster and Need to be shut away. yeah i'm not vibing with the subtext of this one, guys

y'know what, i think if it were up to me i'd have tied those two together somehow. deepen ithelia and torvesard's relationship, the forgotten deity and the follower so devoted and loyal he will break reality to get her back, make it more About the terrible things that can be done in the name of love and service. have his desperation to stop the protag be the thing that gets through to ithelia? fanaticism as opposed to I Exist Incorrectly And Must Be Punished For It

???:

i am probably not the target audience for scribing. i liked the quest series well enough, the concept of the luminaries and ulfsild's journey with magic were both Interesting, i just. don't give a shit about spellcrafting?? maybe it's just bc my intro to tes was skyrim and so i don't have, like, Fond Childhood Memories TM of creating bullshit custom spells in morrowind/oblivion and therefore no desire to see that variant of customization come to eso. idk. i like the new colors for existing skills, tho wish they could apply to class skills

after playing high rock and necrom, both of which had main and side quests focused on exploring the culture and identity of bretons/dunmer, it was a little... disappointing? to not get much of the same for imperials. i guess there were multiple quests featuring legionaries?? and then the vineyard quest??

i'm not entirely opposed to the introduction of a new daedric prince, or to toying with the concept of a multiverse, but i'm not sure they quite nailed either, especially since at the end you just. negate the entire thing. like now i just want to follow ithelia wherever she went and find out What Is A Prince Without Their Power. how does a being like her- whose entire existence Is magic, is predicated on power and the exertion thereof- fit into a supposed world *that has no magic and where she is devoid of her innate power*??

killing gadayn for five minutes. what was the point. i'd have given him more presence through the story so that his loss (*much* earlier than in canon) is actually noticeable beyond "leramil is sad for a little bit". tease the idea that ithelia could bring him back from another path, maybe, make the player have to ask, even for a moment, "can there be a way to keep her around, do we have to completely destroy/exile her?"

actually i wish they'd explored the Many Paths more just, in general. maybe have the player hop across alternate timelines to accomplish plot shit?

[argisthebulwark]

Omg you're back to writing thank godddddddd I *love* your stuff so much. Idk if you're taking requests right now, but if you are yesterday (Nov 9) was my birthday and I would love some Brynyolf smut. I want him to blow my back out while telling me he worships me so much more than Nocturnal, is that really too much to ask?

hi this is my first time writing bryn in a while, still trying to get back in that characterization/headspace. wasn't sure which pronouns you prefer anon sorry - i used she/her just because it's easiest for me to write smut that way

content warnings: explicit sexual content. minors do not interact.

“Welcome home, Guild Master.” 

Brynjolf spoke from one of the endless shadows around the Ragged Flagon. She tried to hide how easy it was for him to affect her with a deep drink from her ale. It had been clear for hours that he’d wanted her alone - the heated glances he’d sent her way and offering up his lap when her usual seat at the bar was taken. 

“Flagon cleared out earlier than usual.” She commented, trying to control the anticipation shivering through her. “Did you pay them off or threaten them?” 

“Some of this, some of that.” He was much closer than before. 

“I told you not to call me that.” 

“What, Guild Master?” He teased, still eluding her line of sight. 

“Yes.” She paused, fussing with the handle of her mug. They’d played this game before - Brynjolf toying with her, teasing her from the shadows while she attempted to place him.

“Nocturnal has blessed you, Bryn. Are you sure you didn’t make a pilgrimage to the Sepulcher while I was away?” 

“I worship no Daedra.” He was getting closer, likely standing right behind her. But turning would ruin the game, would end this wonderful excitement building in her body. “You know that, Guild Master.” 

“Bryn -”

“What would you prefer I call you, if not Guild Master?” He murmured, stubble scraping along her throat when he finally touched her. Dextrous fingers danced up the back of her neck before tangling in her hair and tugging just enough to feel good. “Lass?” 

Her knees buckled as pure arousal flooded her at the old pet name. Brynjolf chuckled, large arms easily holding her weight against the bar. Another messy kiss was placed to her throat and the Guild Master was moaning his name, pleading him for anything he was willing to give. 

“Already, love?” Brynjolf tsked, his free hand sliding under the leather jerkin. “You’ve been gone far too long, it isn’t usually this easy to make a mess of you.” 

“You know.” The Guild Master squeaked out, distracted by Brynjolf shoving her armor out of the way and trailing his lips down her shoulder. 

“What do I know?” 

“When you say that.” 

“Mm, I do.” When he chuckled against her skin it reminded the Guild Master how long it had been since she’d been touched by him, how many weeks had passed since Brynjolf’s wonderful hands had last felt her skin. “I remember the first time I saw you blush like this. When you made it through the Ratways that first time and stood here so proud.”

“You did it on purpose?” She gasped when Brynjolf finally unbuckled her armor, hand roaming freely over her chest. 

“Not the first time, no.” His hips pressed hers into the bar until she felt the hard length of his cock pressing into her back. Heat flooded between her thighs when his fingers trailed from her breast down to the buckle of her pants, hand in her hair keeping his body pressed firmly to hers. “But fuck, when I saw you react like that from just one word?” 

Brynjolf’s fingers dipped easily under the armored pants, groaning into her ear when they delved into the slick heat of her undergarments. He was overwhelming - the grasp on his hair keeping her still, fingers sliding along the area she desperately needed him, hips grinding hers into the bar. It was overstimulating her brain until Brynjolf’s touch was the only thing that mattered in the world, the tether that held her in the sea of arousal he always flooded her with.

“Oh lass, Nocturnal never had a chance.” 

The Guild Master’s eager fingers unbuckled Brynjolf’s pants before he could say another word. His fingers were already working her towards the edge of an orgasm, pressing against her clit just enough to keep her on the brink without pushing her over. It was maddening. 

God forbid anyone walk into the Flagon. The Guild Master blushed at just the thought of what one of her subordinates could walk in on - Brynjolf tugging her pants down and sliding in his cock, hand flexing in her hair and whispering filthy things into her ear. The thought of anyone hearing the sounds she made when Brynjolf’s cock fully entered her only added to the heat in her cheeks. 

His pace was unrelenting. Brynjolf usually took his time with her, whispering such sweet things to her about his love for her, but there seemed to be no time. He pounded into her with force she'd never felt and threatened to send them toppling right over the bar. It was delicious. Brynjolf's need was evident in every grunt, every smack of his hips into hers, his cock hitting every perfect spot inside her that left her seeing stars.

“How could I worship a Deadra,” Brynjolf panted over the slapping of his hips against her ass, “when you were right there?” 

The Guild Master couldn’t muster anything other than a whimper of his name. Blood was heating in her veins with each stroke of his cock and swipe of his thumb over her clit. The sheer pressure of his body trapped against the edge of the bar, grabbing at the muscles of his arms to keep upright. He felt euphoric. 

“Why do you think I fought so hard to be your second?” She couldn’t answer him. She couldn’t form any words that weren’t his name when the orgasm blasted through every inch of her body. His fingers on her clit slowed, milking every pathetic sound he could out of her. Her heart was racing with wave after wave of pleasure washing away whatever worries she’d had. Brynjolf continued at his unrelenting speed, the sounds he made against her throat left her throbbing around his cock. 

"I love you," the Guild Master mumbled, nerves too sensitive from the sheer pleasure he'd sent through her body. Brynjolf grumbled against her shoulder before his hips stilled, body shivering and cock pulsing when he came deep inside of her. There was a moment of silence, nothing more than Brynjolf's arms cradling the Guild Master close to his chest.

"It's because I will worship no gods over you." He whispered, placing a few lingering kisses down her neck. "There is no one I hold higher than you, lass."

[omiramotakiart]

Made this sketch and it has been raining all day so... cozy ALMSIVI time:

"Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting with Redoran officials?" He asked as Almalexia rested her head on his shoulders, groaning, loose hair almost getting into his mouth as he spoke.

"The meeting was rescheduled, a feud with House Telvanni, I believe."

He sighed, "Of course, fighting over who gets the greener plot for another mansion or mushroom tower is far more important than an audience with the Queen."

"Shall I remind you that this way your torment of sitting down and listening to a room of bickering and social interaction has been delayed?"

He sighed again, put his glasses and papers away, more letters directed to Nerevar who currently was on another pilgrimage to one of the multiple Azura temples on Resdayn. He had to separate the ones from potential allies to the ones containing death threats and those sent by Voryn. Charming. "Ayem, do you realize how inappropriate it looks when you sneak into my studio, let the door open and put your arms around my neck?"

She shrugged, eyes closed as if she was drifting asleep, "I hug Vivec the same way and you and I have known each other since our childhood. Let them have their rumors, none have the gall to do anything about it."

"You look awfully tired. Perhaps your own room would be more comfortable for some rest."

"Yet here I am," she said, Sil tried leaning back into the couch for the sake of Almalexia either letting go or adopting a more comfortable position, "We barely get to see each other and even Sotha Sil, Mr. Brass Automatons, needs a distraction from his job."

"Not to be offensive, but if I was in need of a distraction I would have allowed a certain Telvanni open a portal in my studio at any hour and tell me of which Daedra tried killing him this week."

Ayem laughed, yawned, "We have Vivec, a better distraction than any member of your questionable dating life." He also had to laugh at that, not loud enough to disturb her, no, it would be rude. "I can call him."

"Should I even ask how far is he—"

"A poet always follows their source of inspiration," said the wet mess covered in gold, silk and diamonds, carrying a lute and sitting by the fire, "For this one it is the Queen I call my sister and the mage I call brother. Any luck getting Sil out of his shell?"

Ayem shook her head. Sil carefully tried to detach his arm, the one she was holding, even offering a cushion over a brass limb. "Vehk, please close the door at least and stay still for a moment."

"Do you have a spell to dry people up?" The Warrior Poet said, "Most impressive, perfect for Seht the Nanny."

Even he had to roll his eyes at that. "I suppose it can be called that on simplified terms. The purpose is to generate the heat of the fire without the flame so it evaporates the water…" judging by Vivec's look, he wasn't so eager to hear the technicalities. Fair enough. "I shall assume the two of you have teamed up to torment me this evening. Wonderful, how dare you?"

Both laughed, Ayem spoke, her eyes briefly opening, "We know you despise rain and need a break from your job, we care about you, Sil, which is why we are not leaving you alone at the moment."

"And," Vivec added, "It is so lonely when Voryn and Alandro are not around, let alone Nerevar."

"So I'm the replacement?"

"Don't be mad at us, clockmaker."

"Vehk."

"Apologies."

He at least had herbs next to some cups and a kettle, Vivec always carried a waterskin with him, "Will you care for a cup of tea, at least?" Both nodded, "Then I must thank you, then, for your good intentions as… quite frankly as annoying you two can be."

He sat once again on the couch while the three of them waited for the tea to be done. Truth be told the rain did bother him, an awful feeling, each drop hitting the window rang inside his skull, each one on the roof sounded like rocks, the wind was the one of a storm and somewhere in some unfortunate town the rain was putting down a fire. Curious how a thing he loved became a reminder of what he lost. Yet at least there was Ayem with her arms surrounding his neck and sleeping on his shoulder, Vehk leaning on his other arm, playing tavern songs with lyrics he himself modified.

Actually, paperwork could wait.

[miraakulous-cloud-district]

Skyrim oc asks, turned into a tag game, because I felt like doing one of these. Sorry if these are terrible, it's the first time I'm doing this.

1. What's your oc's favourite tavern?

Surprisingly, it's the Bee and Barb for Ravonna. Yes, The Retching Netch reminds her a bit of Morrowind and childhood, but the Riften tavern has a special place in her heart. So many memories, songs, a fake wedding, Talen-Jei's special drinks, trying to rob Brynjolf, brawling with racist Stormcloaks... all of that happened in that small tavern. Also it was the first tavern in Skyrim where she sang!

Also, Frostveil Mead Hall (it's a mod, I believe it's the one that restores Winterhold) is pretty much what she considers the perfect tavern. The design is amazing and the fact that it is a warm tavern in a very cold place just makes it so cozy! That's where all the College of Winderhold folks go to drink and party in my headcannon.

2. What about their favourite beverage?

Nord mead. Sometimes simplicity is good, you know? And water is greatly appreciated on long adventures.

3. Who do they travel with?

Lucien Flavius, Inigo, Rumarin, Marcurio -> this is the main fellowship, but later on, Teldryn and Miraak join in, Miraak hasn't stolen anything in his life, but he ends up stealing her heart. I'm also thinking of adding Lydia. A sarcastic tank of a woman fighting in heavy armor with a two handed axe among mages (except for Inigo who uses his bow and Teldryn, who is a spellsword) would be so funny, but having so many characters at the same time is tricky to write...

4. Are they wealthy? How do they make money?

Is she wealthy? Depends of the time of the week. After a good Nordic Ruin raid or a treasure hunt, she's very rich. However, the money is as easily spent as it is earned. Cool new robes, a very fancy dinner, booze and lots of potions, these are the things that she spends money on. Also, if she finds people willing to listen to her tales and songs in a tavern she'll just "next round's on me" the whole night and wonder why she has no money left the next morning.

However, after she finds a place to live (more like a place to dump the stuff she doesn't need) and begins depositing some of the money there, she slowly but surely gathers a fortune.

5. Do they worship any aedra or daedra?

She does worship Julianos, and occasionally prays to him for magic guidance. She's also the champion of Sanguine and Meridia, but she doesn't worship them. But every now and then, these two daedra smile upon her, after she slaughters dozens of undead or gets drunk with her friends.

6. What is their biggest fear?

Losing her close ones. And ever since she found out that she's the Last Dragonborn, she fears failing her profecy and dooming the world.

Also scribs. She hates those.

7. Any pet peeves?

Anyone who is in charge of cooking and doesn't wash their hands beforehand will feel her wrath. And people who are unnecessarily rude.

8. Do they like being dragonborn? Or do they see it as a burden?

It's a weird one for her. She loves feeling powerful. She feels as if she can protect everyone, but the weight of saving the world is very heavy on her shoulders. But being the Dragonborn is... exciting! Song-worthy! And so, so confusing.

9. Favourite Skyrim faction?

She's not a member of any faction, but has spent some time in the College of Winterhold and absolutely loved it.

She will, however, never hesitate to talk shit about the Companions because of one (1) bad first meeting with them. She's very vengeful and if you upset her, well, good riddance. She wants to punch the life out of Vilkas. Will they have a drunken reconciliation? Will they kill each other on Ravonna's next trip to Whiterun? We'll see. (This actually happened in my game when I was playing with her. When she tried to help the Companions fight the giant, I must have misclicked and hit one of them, and then they all squared up on her :/ )

10. Any object they carry with high sentimental value?

Her amulet of Julianos she received from her adoptive dad after she cast her first spell. Lucien's resonant sphere that he gives her so that they would always find each other.

11. What about hobbies?

The plan was becoming a bard and travelling the world, so she loves music very much. She can play almost every instrument, she loves writing songs and singing sea shanties the most! (It also helps that she was trained by a bard who was an ex-pirate). She also enjoys brewing a lot! She knows lots of mead and wine recipes that she's learnt growing up in a tavern in Blacklight.

12. Favourite Skyrim city?

She loves Winterhold because she has fond memories from the time she spent there, helping the College, solving mysteries, getting drunk and making new friends, treasure hunting, and, weirdly, the Miraak cultists attacking her (hey, if they never attacked, she would have never met him).

She also loves Dawnstar for the docks full of sailors that are thirsty for mead and sharing stories. She loves hearing the seagulls (it's a mod, but it makes sense!) And feeling the smell of freshly baked goods in the cold air.

If she were to settle down at some point, she'd consider one of these cities. It seems that she likes the cold. She's a nord, after all.

I'll tag @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @ghostfacedbat @bread-tes @mamma-dragon if you want to, of course. Feel free to ignore this if you don't feel like doing it.

Anyone else who sees this and wants to do it, just say I tagged you! 💖

[tittytania]

Finding ChristBorg: A TED talk about what happened during the Coldharbour Compact.

Reposted from my tes reddit bc I want to see what y’all think.

I can't tell if I'm a genius, completely insane, or if I'm just late to the lore-party. Time to find out I guess. TL;DR at the bottom.

So it has never been explained what Sotha Sil did during the Coldharbour Compact to convince the daedric princes to not manifest on Nirn without an intermediary, and it probably never will be since the mystery of it all is far too cool. But that doesn't mean I can't read into it like literature and look for meaning in the other texts I can compare it to.

To start, Vivec is based off of the Shakta variation of the half female/half male Ardhanarishvara, where the gold-skinned female half is the right side. Both Vivec and Ardhanarishvara represent unity and duality, and looking at some images of Ardhanarishvara, it's kinda hard to argue that Vivec wasn't based off of them. Kirkbride even confirmed that Ardhanarishvara was the inspiration for Vivec in an AMA. Now, Vivec is part of the god trio the Almsivi Tribunal, along with Almalexia and Sotha Sil. Shiva, who Ardhanarishvara is the avatar of, is also part of a god trio, called the Trimurti in Hinduism. So it would make sense if the other members of the tribunal are also based off of one member of a real world religious triad. I have a shaky idea of who Almalexia could be, but my theory for her god-inspiration is nowhere near as solid as my theory for Sotha Sil, who I believe is based on Jesus Christ.

To start, their characterizations have multiple similarities. Both are one branch of a god-triad, with Sotha Sil as part of the Tribunal, and Jesus as The Son in the Holy Trinity. Both serve as a teacher, with Jesus being referred to as Teacher several times in the Bible, and Sotha Sil giving lessons on magic and Mysticism to the Psijic Monks. Also, both are characterized as wise, patient, and celibate. They both talk about moral and philosophical concepts with their followers, neither Jesus nor Sotha Sil are shown as having a temper or raising their voices, and neither of them are shown with a spouse or partner. Sotha Sil is specifically shown as not caring about the Night Mother's attempts to sexually manipulate him in book seven of 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Now I know that 2920 is considered a work of historical fiction in-universe, but I don't think that matters in this situation since I'm approaching this as a person reading a text, not as a person living inside the lore world.

In terms of specific scenes that connect Sotha Sil and Jesus, the first I will mention is that they both use a makeshift whip to beat intruding wrongdoers and drive them away, while yelling about fathers. In the Truth in Sequence vol. 8 book, it says that "[t]hrough His will alone, Mighty Seht wound the veins (of metal ore) into god-bronze whips, and lashed the Prince pitilessly," saying "[b]ehold the wrath of lost Ald Sotha! Know death at my hands, false-son of a false-father!" In the Bible, Jesus found people doing sales in a place of worship, and then He "made a whip of cords, (and) He drove them all out of the temple," saying “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” (John 2 15-16).

Also, Jesus had close friends and followers who were called his apostles, and Sotha Sil has his own Clockwork Apostles. Sil's apostles reside in the Clockwork Basilica, and while basilica isn't an exclusively Christian term, it is frequently used to describe a type of church architecture, and is a term the pope uses to recognize distinguished churches.

Another similarity that I found was in the plot of Morrowind, where Sotha Sil's death was caused at the hands of Almalexia, who was someone he had once loved and trusted, much like with Jesus and Judas.

The most notable life similarity as it relates to the Coldharbour Compact is that both leave the earthly world in order to make a deal for the benefit of the souls on earth, and then return to the earthly world. This parallel is given extra weight with the descriptions of the scene in the book 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Sotha Sil returns from Coldharbour by way of someone "rolling aside the great boulder that blocked the entrance to the Dreaming Cavern. This sounds a lot like the scene in the bible of the discovery that Jesus had risen from the dead, where "an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door" (Matthew 28:2). In addition, Jesus said "after He is killed, He will rise [on] the third day," (Matthew 17:23) and after Sotha Sil returned from Coldharbour, he "felt he had been away for months, years, but only a few days had transpired." Perhaps it had been 3?

In addition to the life and behavior similarities, there are similarities in dress. In the 2920 book, Sotha Sil is always described as wearing a white robe or cloak. In ESO, Sotha Sil is shown as barefoot, and wearing a blue sash over his long white robe. In medieval and renaissance art, Jesus is most always depicted as barefoot, and is frequently shown with a blue cloth over his shoulder. In most resurrection art, as well as in almost all 20th/21st century art, Jesus is depicted as dressed in white. While Jesus usually isn't usually shown wearing both the blue sash and the white robe at once like Sotha Sil is, I found one modern interpretation of Jesus that does dress him this way, and several depictions of him in Chinese art that also portray him like this.

I'm feeling almost conspiratorial here, but these similarities are far too many for me to think it's accidental, and therefore I have to think that all of this is meant to suggest that Sotha Sil serves a Christ-figure role in his story, i.e. in sacrificing own life like Jesus did in order to make his deal in the Coldharbour Compact. However I don't think Sil's sacrifice was quite so simple. After he is asked what he offered the Daedra in return for the deal, he states: "The deals we make with Daedra... [s]hould not be discussed with the innocent." This implies that in contrast to the Christ mythos, Sil's sacrifice was not blameless; he did not come out of the deal with his hands clean.

So, a Christ-like sacrifice that isn't quite as pure and selfless as it is in Christianity. What could that be?

My theory is that in order to make the Coldharbour Compact, he sold the lives of Vivec and Almalexia along with his own. Perhaps he told the princes that he knew the tribunal's godhood would end, and in exchange for their cooperation he promised not to tell the other tribunes or make any attempt to prevent his and his companions' demise. (After all, as far as I know he made the mechanical heart for keeping his city functional, not for recreating the divinity the heart of Lorkhan provided.) Or, maybe he offered to do something to assist in bringing the Tribunal down, and losing Sunder and Keening, the tools that helped them maintain their divinity, was intentional on his part. Sil deliberately sacrificing his own life appears to be reflected in Azura's statement after his death. She said "he shed his mortality long ago, and I am certain his death was no small relief to him." Of course she'd know that he let go of his life ages ago if he had willingly sold it to her. Of course she would be certain that he found his death to be a relief, if she'd heard him say so himself when he was explaining why a god would ever offer such a deal.

It would also make sense with Sotha Sil's character, since he allegedly loved the people on Nirn more than Almalexia or Vivec did, and the destruction of Gilverdale could have definitely been a traumatic enough reminder of the destruction of Ald Sotha for him to do something dramatic to prevent it ever happening again. And guilt over sacrificing his friends could have definitely been a contributing factor to the worsening self-isolation and intense depression in his later life. It would also be a definite explanation for why he apparently never met another soul in the 10 years between losing the tools and his death. Not only had he become extremely disillusioned with the imperfections of the world, he had now finalized the deal he made so long ago, and saw no point in continuing to interact with a deeply flawed world he was essentially finished with.

However, I do see some issues with this and how it would work in-universe. Namely the fact that Hermaeus Mora's seekers said the prince received something from every individual on Nirn as part of the deal, which is quite different from what I'm suggesting. A different deal for each prince would also explain why Sil was able to include Clavicus Vile and Mephala in the compact at a much later date. There would be no reason for Vile and Mephala to submit to a collective deal whose terms had already been decided. So if he offered the tribunal's lives as part of the deal, he would have needed to offer other things as well. But for me the most significant in-universe issue I struggled with was that using his death as a bargaining tool would create a massive problem for his ability to enforce the deal in the future. This could explain why both Molag Bal and Mehrunes Dagon manifested on Nirn after Sotha Sil's death, but since I think they were summoned by qualified mortals that could have been a loophole. Either way, making a deal that is meant to last forever by promising something that can never be taken back in the case of a breach of contract seems extremely short-sighted for someone who claims to be cursed with certainty. Especially considering how many of the princes there were known to be cheats and liars.

Unless, that is, you believe this theory I read about the reason why Sil was completely silent as he was killed. My original belief was that he was silent because he'd seen it coming long ago, and knew that nothing he could have said would have changed Almalexia's mind. And while that would be in character for him, now I'm starting to think that it was because he had already uploaded his consciousness elsewhere. This would fit in with the Christ-figure parallels, due to the Christian belief that Jesus is risen from the dead and very much alive. While Jesus returned to life at the same time he emerged from the cave, the completion of Sotha Sil's death sacrifice didn't happen until long after his return via the cave. While I have found no explicit evidence that he's still around, when you find his body in Morrowind he is shown hanging, with his arms outstretched at his sides, in a sort of crucifixion pose. And after the crucifixion comes the resurrection. Perhaps Sotha Sil is still around somewhere in the gears of his city, and he promised the princes he'd never be present or have any influence on Nirn so long as they kept up their end of the deal. Additionally, the 37th sermon of Vivec mentions Sotha Sil as holding "his swollen belly," carrying "[his] daughter." While Vivec's sermons are hardly ever literal, Kirkbride's comments suggest that maybe Vivec was being somewhat literal in this instance. Regarding this concept art, Kirkbride said "note the cosmic baby growing inside Sotha Sil. While Sotha Sil is dead as we saw in the add-on pack “Tribunal”, the child survived." Perhaps one of Sotha Sil's many body modifications made him able to carry and birth a child, and then he created a daughter through self-cloning or some other method that allows him to have enough influence to enforce the compact.

TL;DR - Sotha Sil has a lot of similarities with Jesus, so he's a Christ figure and therefore his sacrifice in the Coldharbour Compact was himself, and Almalexia and Vivec too, and that also means that he may still be around.

Anyways, thanks for reading and sorry if this sounds like I'm putting red strings on a wall as my application essay to the r/SothaSimps fan club. Also, lmk if I'm missing anything obvious. For me right now Reading Lore On The Bedroom Floor is a bit more manageable than playing the games, and there may be something I've just completely looked over.

[itssuppertim3]

Share (Miraak x Remeir)

A sweet n' fluffy OC one shot for you, if I may

It was cold. And rainy. And wet.

Remeir and Miraak stood and observed the downpour, both pondering over their little predicament. In the spur of the storm, the two dragonborn took off towards the closest shelter they could find and luckily came upon an abandoned cave.

Miraak shook his head in dismay and grumbled an assortment of dovah curses. Remeir mustered a sigh before using a small flame spell to guide her way into the mouth of the cave. "This is just dreadful," Miraak muttered. "Dreadful, I say."

"Just get in here and help me start a fire before we both catch a cold," the redhead called back. Both of them were squatted down, a shivering mess. There were a few dried and burnable materials in her bag, such as paper, books she held no current interest in, and even unnecessary ingredients. The fire she managed to craft was a small one, yet durable. Luckily, her ebony armor deflected any rain from touching her clothes underneath. Her tall, atmoran companion was not so fortunate.

Miraak's robes were drenched and the worn fabric stuck to his skin like tree sap. She definitely didn't blame him for being as vexed as he was. "Don't glare at me with such remorse, Dragonborn," the man finally sighed. The quirky elf blew out a chuckle before rising to her feet. "I can dry your robes for you, if you want. I imagine it's not very comfy," she offered. Miraak inspected her extended hand and glanced at his outfit. "As long as you do not catch them on fire. I'm not in the mood for running around this land like a half-nude peasant." As serious and nonchalant as he was, Remeir bent over in a spew of laughter. "Oh, gods! How can someone as cold as you be so funny?! I could-- I could just picture you walking around like a damned caveman!" He clearly wasn't amused by the display in front of him.

In silent disgust, Miraak peeled off his top and threw it at his savior's face. "It's humiliating to be reminded that you were able to defeat me," he hissed. Still, she continued to chortle like an infant. Remeir was well-past her years of embarrassment. Over time, she gradually learned to ignore the opinions of others and lived the carefree life she always desired. That being said, most were so intimidated by her flamboyant personality that she was often avoided. She never failed to be amazed how Miraak had remained by her side for this long, now. Mara only knew almost every second with her had to be excruciating for him.

When the dunmer finally composed herself, she draped Miraak's robes above the fire and let the heat do its work. When she turned to face him, she had forgotten that his upper body was now completely and utterly bare. Saying that Remeir was unprepared for the sight in front of her was a massive understatement. As long as this woman had been breathing, she was more inexperienced with men than a fly was with a house! Besides the heavenly sound of his voice, she colored Miraak to have the body of one of the grey beards. That being said, she never failed to catch notice of the way his biceps swelled when lifting something heavy or how broad his shoulders grew when throwing his gear over his back. She knew he had a burly musculature. But this, this was something else entirely. Was that an eight-pack?!!

"Quit staring, you star-eyed oaf!" She switched back to reality when Miraak attempted to cover his front with his arms like an exposed woman. "My bad. Just trying to figure who the lucky lady you're trying to impress is," Rem stated bluntly before plopping down beside him. "Or~," she purred. "Could it be a seeker?" Miraak used his hand to push her face away. "You are outrageous," he grumbled. "Immature, little brat." Remeir ignored him and slid out her bedroll from her knapsack. As she started to unfold it, she glanced her companion's bag. "Is your stuff alright? It looks soaked."

"That's because it is. I cannot understand how I am the unlucky one in this situation. Other than those silly braids of yours, you along with all of your things are completely dry," he noted, fishing through his belongings. "Maybe it's because Lady Mara shines on my every step," she cooed. "Well, your Lady would sure be kind to shine a bit of light in my direction, as well." Sure enough, he retrieved a damp bedroll. "Oh, dear," she voiced. "Oh dear, indeed..." Miraak released a groan of annoyance and welcomed it on the cold floor. "Would you... like to share mine?"

A brief, uncertain silence was exchanged between the two. With Remeir's cheeks becoming the same pigment as her red strands, she started to frantic. "I-I mean, you probably won't like it since it'll be a tight squeeze. But it's better than sleeping on hard rock, right?" she clipped. Miraak took a moment to think it over. "Alright."

That night, Remeir was overwhelmed with all types of emotions. The soft glow of the campfire was able to ease her mind a tad, but viewing the large silhouette of Miraak's shadow flicker against the cave wall, it didn't do much help. She couldn't put her finger on it. It wasn't that she was afraid of him. His entire aura was just so overpowering to her. It was like sleeping next to a docile bear. The young elf stiffened after feeling his back press further into hers as he slept. He seemed awfully comfortable for someone who despised being even remotely close to another person.

He was so warm. She was surprised he produced so much body heat, which was the contrary to his icy persona. In all honesty, Remeir often admitted to herself that he was quite cute. He was strong, of course he was. He made made that clear whenever he was able, no matter the time nor place. But he was just so adorable! As her brain rambled on, Remeir neglected to notice him reposition himself on his other side to where his chest was firm against her back. She let out a tiny squeak in response. No longer was this man "adorable", he was flatout terrifying! "Miraak," she sounded. He was too deep in his slumber to reply.

When she attempted to wriggle some space between then, her actions were shot down upon feeling the sensation of Miraak's arms curling around the small of her form. Remeir's sanity was now dangling by a thread. He was so incredibly close to her in this moment, if his mask wasn't working as a barrier, he'd be kissing her neck! She nudged and squirmed and continued to make little attempts of stirring him from his unconscious oasis, but alas she ended up in failure each time.

"Zu'u los hin..."

The scrambled woman's breath had caught in her throat. She wasn't exceedingly fluent in Dovahzul like Miraak, but she was able to catch only his sleep-slurred words. "I am yours," he had said. What was that supposed to mean?? Rem prayed to every Aedra and Daedra that he wasn't dreaming of anything suggestive while holding her in such a way. Other than his odd choice of words and affectionate touch, he showed no signs of having any explicit intent.

Over the minutes, Remeir gradually released any pent-up tension she held and let herself become engulfed by the larger figure behind her. Miraak's legs softly entangled with her own and her heartbeat fell into the same rhythm as his. It was strange. She'd forgotten how safe it felt to be coddled by another person. She knew it wouldn't last, though she wished it would. Once he found out what he was doing, it would be the last time she would ever be caressed by him. That much upset her.

But little did the Last Dragonborn know, Miraak was awake the entire time.

-------------------------------------------------

God I literally love those two too much

[kettlequills]

ok so this was inspired by this post made by @argisthebulwark - check her blog out! - about dovahkiin soulmates that could feel each other's pain. naturally i ran with the concept of dragonborn soulmates. feat. my ldb laataazin/miraak.

Laataazin has always felt trapped. Before they are Laat-aaz, even, when they are a nameless prisoner, hands-bound, another to be executed through a simple whim of fate. No memories then in the buzzing darkness of their mind, but a feeling of fear, confusion, brief-dawning wonderment on the heels of hot green rage in the drumming space of their chest that was theirs-and-not-theirs. Breath hurting, unused lungs and trembling hands that will not grip round the hilt of the sword Hadvar tries to press into their hands like they know it ought. Like they know scars on their bodies – body, for there is only one Dragonborn, only one.

How dare, their mind rages, how dare the gods try to discard me.

These thoughts, these hungers, these fears, are surely Laataazin’s alone, clear as Masser’s moonlight in the dark sky.

They have known imprisonment, in the cold, whispering bowels of Dragonsreach dungeons, where Mephala murmurs maliciously in every iron bar and chiselled stone, hissing breaths dampening, soft and light as cobwebs falling upon a sleeper’s eye, sanity, safety, sight. Trying to tempt, twist, torment total truth from the prisoner-that-would-be-Laataazin, named Dovahkiin and wrestling the ashes of Mirmulnir into restless ebb. Oil-and-ink in Laat’s nose, and a will that is theirs-and-not-theirs, resistant, defiant, no more daedra than dragonfire, sings firm around Mephala’s words, like the thrum of earthbones a song that refuses to be a bound-and-fooled-slave again.

Don’t complain so much, says the thoughts-that-are-Laataazin, they’ll let you out.

Their dragon-soul, for it must be theirs, is loud, angry, knows their head. It refuses to be quieted, grumbles and snaps at the rolls and reams of papery scrolls the Greybeards set down in front of them, snarling answers in a mother-tongue Laataazin has never known, with the air of distant, impatient distraction, like wings brushing across planes. Laataazin is not much of a reader, puzzles through relearning letters in dusty texts that take bored moments to recall when their body slumps softening into slow sleep. They wake with understanding and vague, boundless frustration, dragon-words in dragon-soul that mutter about Stupid fools and their vapid teachings, you will never learn with these chains on your wings.

Laataazin meditates for endless hours on frigid snowcaps with Paarthurnax’s breath steaming the snow and still thinks of smashing skulls and bloodied steel, still thinks of broken wills and shattered spirits.

It is, they tell Paarthurnax, a losing battle. There is something in them that wants out, and it will stop at nothing, nothing, to claw itself free from the trap locked shut around its howling muzzle.

Mortality is a losing battle, Paarthurnax reminds them. It is their nature to beat against the bars of inevitability, and turn their faces from the grind of time.

Hypocritical lizard, the soul-that-must-be-Laataazin’s mutters, and Laataazin chooses not to share this or the smile it provokes.

Laataazin goes about their divine-driven hunting of twin-souled dragons, who speak to them in a language they know, who challenge them to fights they win, who know them and are stranger to them in a way that only the careless and god-flung may be. They do not want to kill the dragons that are like themselves, who look at the sky and see a glorious road untravelled rather than the distant god-realm for no mortal to cross.

Your soft heart will do us harm, their soul reminds them. Do not spare what hungers to hurt.

Delphine tells them that they are not bloodthirsty enough, that they accept the surrender of too many, and create surrender still where there is not even that. That there is no point sparing monsters, and that Laataazin has a duty, a destiny, a fate.

Laataazin tells Delphine and their soul both that they have chosen a different path. But Akatosh does not make the same mistake twice, and this time, there is no give in the leash of fate wrapped tightly around the neck of the Last Dragonborn.

Ushered by inevitability, they go to face Alduin, and within them their soul rants and raves for its freedom. Fate! Fate! The gods laugh at us.

In Sovngarde, they feel empty, empty. It is a dead place for dead souls, and there is no place for living ties in bodies that breathe and fates that twine. Laataazin’s chest feels cold and dim, unwarmed by so total an omnipresence they had thought it part of themselves. It is not, they know now. There is… something, someone, else.

Gormlaith’s golden hair shines like septims when she smiles at Laataazin, all bared teeth. I knew you would come around, she says, and Laataazin wonders which of them she is talking to, Alduin-that-is-Akatosh, or Laataazin-that-is-trapped. Like standing in a boxful of mirrors, making eye-contact with a thousand versions of an image, an icon, a legend, borne through the ages to consume itself.

It is done. Alduin returns to himself, and fate twirls the key to the shackles of its Last prisoner. Tsun drags their weeping body from the gate and casts it into the realm of air and sunlight, wordless in the face of their inappropriate grief. When Laataazin returns, staggering and coughing out their lungs onto the windswept emptiness of the snow-throat beneath the watching dragon-eyes, feeling slams back into them with all the force of a tidal wave. Pure, blistering rage, fanned so hot it can only be the most animal of panic.

Where did you go? demands the thing-that-is-not-Laataazin. Why couldn’t I feel you?

Laataazin presses their hand to their chest and feels relief, relief, vast enough to swallow the sun.

I thought I had lost you, the prisoner thinks.

Come to me, longs the other.

What force on Tamriel could resist a plea like that? To Solstheim it is and kneeling in the hot ash Laataazin feels the sky all around them open up and his presence close in like breath on their neck.

You are so much louder here, Laataazin tells him, their steps still wobbly from the boat.

You walk on my land now, Miraak replies, and what a wonder to know his name, to touch with travel-sore body land his own has walked, see with dust-stung eyes what his has seen. I grow ever nearer to you.

You did not need to enslave these people, Laataazin thinks at the Tree Stone, watching empty-eyed cultists and blankened reavers work on towering edifices of stone. The mumbling figures remind them of Sovngarde, that terrible emptiness where once a gnawing pain sat. I am here.

I did not think you would come. Miraak’s admission is grudging, a little bitter. But as Laataazin walks through the stone doors of the temple, they hear the clatter of tools dropping, and the shouts of startled reavers.

Laat grins, feels it mark their face wide and feral. Put your best panties on then, for I shall see you soon.

Do not keep me waiting any longer. His pain is audible in the bones that house their heart, his impatience like whips licking the soles of their feet, his eagerness like teeth to their neck. Laataazin opens the Book, and there he is.

“You are shorter than I expected,” is what the soul-of-their-soul tells them, towering over them, crowned in blue and gold like fearless god and dripping ink like blood.

“And you are as obnoxious as I predicted,” Laataazin says, but already they are approaching him, and he does not move away but flinches when their hands meet his chest.

They bear together his pain from centuries of untouched isolation, the nerves awakened by another that burn like needles and dragon-fire, and they bear together the pleasure too, found in smoothing gauntleted hands over thick robes, found in solidity, presence.

I would touch you like this everywhere you could bear it, then more, Laataazin thinks, and their hands come away inkstained when they lift them to cup the golden mask, which tilts, as if its wearer has flinched again at the thought whispered into the ear of his mind like a promise.

The prince that Laataazin favours most is not cunning Mephala who whispers to them in Whiterun, nor Hermeaus Mora, who believes himself masterful gardener of all, but ruby-red Sanguine, who with a gift of a loving if unconventional wife found in a night of revelry wins anew with each feathered kiss their loyalty. It is therefore Miraak who tears himself from this indulgence of touch first, and takes a few steps back. The words of fate are a well-settled cloak employing the ruthless machine of purpose.

“And so the First meets the Last at the summit of Apocrypha,” Miraak says, ringing, proud. “Tell me, did you enjoy the dregs of my destiny?”

“If you had not turned from your fate to kill Alduin, I would not have awoken,” Laataazin replies, dryly, “so to some extent, yes. To other extents, fuck you.”

“That same fate decrees you must die for me to win my freedom.” Miraak’s mask is expressionless, but Laataazin does not need it – they can feel through the glass of body-barriers the surge and roil of the infection of wounds thousands of years untreated, the bitterness, the fear. It has beat within their heart from the very first moment of their waking in Helgen, as their grief, their loss, burns like wildfires in his.

“Freedom?” says one prisoner to another. “What freedom is this? Aren’t you tired of being what they ask of you? Haven’t you paid the price?”

“Do you not feel how the world has warped around you since you awoke?” Miraak’s hand is tightening on his sword hilt, but he does not draw. “You cannot die, you do not sleep, you are not real, or you alone exist – there can only be one Dragonborn.”

“We will both be free,” Laataazin asserts.

“Time, and reality, would not survive us both,” Miraak says, but Laataazin knows their dragon-soul, and knows he is hungry, hungry, and tired of cages.

Boldly, Laataazin reaches out. Miraak takes their hand, masked eyes searching, like he is a man on open water clinging to the uncertain shelter of driftwood.

“That is Akatosh’s problem,” says Laataazin, “I choose to have you.”

[talldarkandroguesome]

28th of Last Seed, Loredas

I do not know what to do.

I explained to Nabine the situation as described to me.

She said she did not understand. When I began to explain again, she said that she had heard what I had said, but she did not know why this was happening. Why I could possibly change so, given that I had died far more times in Coldharbour and seemed to be without any changes whatsoever.

I tried to explain again about Daedric connections and my devotion and where my soul was, but she just cut me off again, saying there had to be more to it. That it could not possibly be quite such a thing.

I was at a loss. I told her I knew no more about it.

She began to tell me that I would need to find a way to earn back my soul from my Prince. That if I just did a bunch of deeds for Her, that surely, for the great service I provided, I could persuade Him to return my soul.

I gave her a forced smile. I know she knows better than to believe such a thing possible. The chance of that would be very slim and the price to pay would be great indeed.

Nabine was panicking. That much was obvious.

I kissed her and did not say anything against her suggestion as she began coming up with an ever more elaborate way of getting my soul back.

The whole contrived idea centered on getting myself to the Spiral Skein and serving my Prince there if necessary to drive my point home. That I would work as a sort of indentured servant with the final term resulting in my soul.

She was getting so agitated over the whole affair that eventually I had to sing her a song to soothe her. 

All I said was that we could take the time to come up with a solution later, that perhaps we should take a rest for now.

She laid down and said that she thought it a good idea.

I came to give her a kiss and she recoiled as though I were some vile creature.

I said I would go and see if I could find Avon to speak with and let her rest. She just nodded, as I tried to remember that it was probably not something to take personal. That probably it was just her being overwhelmed with all that was going on right now.

I sought out Avon and noticed the Farseer returning from the edge of the encampment. When I inquired if all was well, she said she was seeing Mother off.

Mother, who left without a single word to me. No explanation. Not even a message that she was returning home.

Perhaps I have become such a disgusting creature as to no longer be worthy of the women in my family.

This would be proven later when the children had finished their lessons and Nabine whisked the girls away for some Bosmeri history lessons, which she asked for privacy to conduct.

Avon, at least took things better.

Marginally.

He, too, seemed more protective of Sildras after hearing the news.

There was pity in his eyes. Worry. Fear. Avon has never been adept at obscuring his emotions, particularly from me.

While he said all the right things, perhaps even meaning them for the most part, I knew how uncomfortable he was.

So instead of spending the night with my family, I headed out to the road and went across the river, wandering the lower parts of the coiled path, careful to avoid the marshier areas where giant snakes tend to slumber.

I found a nice, large boulder and teleported myself up to the top of it and sat down. As hot and humid as it was after the earlier storm, the cool stone felt soothing to the skin, cool enough to feel through my trousers.

I felt at a loss and so I did the only thing that I could think of. I stripped down and prayed. Prayed for a solution to fixing everything. Prayed to be worth enough of love. Prayed for not having to be so thoroughly reminded of the fact that my decisions always seemed to end in my own and others’ misery. 

There came a whisper in my ear, carried along the hot, sticky breeze. In most situations I might have been angry to hear this voice after all that had happened, or ready to demand answers, but not here. Not now.

This voice was one of calm. Of comfort. A balm for all my ails.

My Prince told me that there was no such thing as a solution to everything. That my decisions were my own to make as I saw fit given what information I had. But most importantly, She told me that I was worthy of love. That I had it. That He loved me as the obedient child I was. That She would look after me as best as He could while also tending to other matters. That if I continued to serve so well over decades and centuries, that boons would be granted. Boons that would be grand enough to help soothe the fears I had.

My heart felt full to bursting. I gave praise and thanks for my Prince’s love and kind words of encouragement.

My Prince told me that a great number of things was going to occur soon. That I should prepare myself for great battle. That I should learn to master my new skills quickly so that I might aid in the battle to come.

I said that I would work hard to do that very thing. That it would be my honor and pleasure.

I could feel my Prince’s smile spread through my body. I could feel the satisfaction.

In that moment, I felt whole again. There was a warmth where my soul should be. That fullness restored.

And even after She had left, I felt so sated, that I decided not to return to the tribe for the night, spending it instead, atop the rock, my tunic draped lightly over me in case I great cold as I slumbered.

I awoke as the sun rose. I felt a pair of eyes upon me.

Startled, I turned to see a giant snake watching me.

I did not move, waiting to see what it might do.

It’s tongue flicked out into the air between us. Then to my face.

I did not move. My whole body tightened, muscles ready, my teleportation spell able to be cast in an instant.

It moved around, seemingly interested in me, but not yet in striking.

I relaxed my body and tried to even my breathing.

The snake turned and slithered off to a different rock, where it curled up in a spot the light fell upon.

I was glad not to have decided to harm the snake. Snakes are sacred to the Mabrigash and it would have greatly harmed my relationship with the Farseer and her wise women if I had come back having killed a snake when it was not necessary.

I returned to camp and Sildras and Cariel came running up to me and said they had missed me.

I lied that I was doing some training for my lessons and asked them how thiers were going, listening eagerly to the stories of what they had been doing.

I knew that Nabine might still worry about me being around our daughters, so I sent Cariel to rouse Nabine and Kuna for breakfast while Sildras and I went to work on preparing something.

It had been quite a while since he and I had an opportunity to share time together alone. And so I asked him what he would like to do when we had returned to Mournhold. Something for just the two of us. And not simply going to a library or a shop of arcane instruments or alchemy reagents. 

He thought for a long while before deciding that he would like to go for a ride in the country. And that during that time, he wanted to hear some stories about what I had done while I was away.

I asked him what he meant by when I was away. He answered that when he was much younger I had been away. He wanted to know what I had done before returning to expose the imposter who had posed as me.

It was a harsh blow, though I doubt the boy meant to land it on so bare a wound.

I nodded and told him that I could do so, but that it might bring up some unpleasant truths about his mother and about me. Things he might prefer to not know.

He reminded me that he was not going to be a child for much longer and that soon he would be sent away to Shad Astula until he reached his adulthood. He wanted to do so knowing the truth.

There was a look in his eyes, one of conviction and of fear. For such a usually shy child, to ask for so bold a request, I knew I could not deny him.

I agreed that I would do so.

He seemed to let out a large breath I did not know he had been holding and he hugged me. I kissed his brow and told him that I was sorry for not having been there more. He did not seem to know how to react to this statement, but we were interrupted by Avon’s joining us.

The Three must truly be looking out for me. 

The tribe shared breakfast together before I was taken for further lessons. The Farseer seemed even more driven to teach me than before. Yet, between the usual lessons, she also made sure to emphasize how important it was for me not to be frivolous with my ability to die. That I must try to refrain from dying as much as was possible. That I should act as though any death could be permanent. 

I told her I understood, but she gave me a scathing look and told me that I likely did not. I stayed silent. She told me that it was more than just the effect it would have on my personality if I continued to die. That over time I might grow numb to many things living as an immortal, but that if I did not wish to share the same callous, coldness of a Daedra, I would have to respect life. My own, and others.

Being no fool, or at least, intelligent enough not to strive to be one, I told heed of her warnings. She reminded me that until I died my body would age and I could essentially live out a full life with those I loved. That I could experience everything along side them. That it would be a better act of honoring those I loved in a lifetime, to live alongside them, rather than apart.

She is not wrong.

I was distracted through much of the telekinesis lesson afterwards, still stuck on the wisdom she imparted. It earned me a quick strike of a branch on my boot to shake me back to attention. My mind is racing too quickly. I need some time to just sort through my thoughts. But during her lessons is not that time. I must earn my proficiency as soon as possible. For myself. For my family. For my Prince.

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Nixiel and Talvas Stop a Murder with More Murder

Talvas: Why are we so worried about House Redoran?

Nixiel: Because I'm FROM House Redoran!

Talvas: Oh yeah.

Nixiel barges into The Retching Netch like a drunken netch cow

Talvas scrambles behind her

Geldis Sadri: Welcome to The Retching Netch, the—

Nixiel: All right, I'm here for answers. You got answers? I want answers!

Talvas: Adril Arano . . .

Geldis Sadri: Say no more. Poor fetcher needs all the help he can get.

Geldis Sadri then spins a plot to string . . . either Nixiel or the Ulens up like slaughterfish. Talvas isn't sure

Time for a good ol' fashioned stakeout

Sans the Redoran Guard. RIP

But not before Nixiel tries to pawn off all her ash yams. Does Not Work

Even if Geldis Sadri sounds like an ash yam enthusiast

RIP

Nixiel tries to leave the bar and is pinned between an alchemist and a hustler

Nixiel: TALVAS!

Later

Nixiel: Take me to church, Talvas.

Talvas: Azura save me.

Nixiel and Talvas bust up into the Temple

Nixiel: Hey—

Elder Othreloth: The Temple is for followers of our faith only. Outsiders Not Allowed.

Nixiel: I feel so attacked right now.

Nixiel and Talvas sneak into the basement — I mean, Temple Ancestral Tomb

And they wait

And wait . . .

Wait some more

Talvas, doing a dance: Nixiel, I gotta go—

Nixiel: Shh!

Tilisu Severin walks in

Talvas: We need to report this to Arano—

Nixiel: I'm gonna go talk to her.

Talvas: Nixiel, no—

Nixiel talks to Tilisu Severin. Does not progress to a fight

Nixiel is dragged off by Talvas to report back to Adril Arano

Nixiel: *reports findings*

Adril Arano: *X in the chat*

Nixiel and Talvas are put on reconnaissance to subvert the necessity for damage control

Damage control required: pending

Nixiel: "If the Severins have betrayed us" . . . what?

Talvas: No idea.

Nixiel and Talvas sneak to the doorstep of Severin Manor

Nixiel: You watch the door while I find the evidence. I should just be in and out. Nixiel sneaks in

There are people inside

Nixiel, silently panicking: Seht, Seht, Seht, Seht.

Nixiel dives down the stairs out of sight

Down the hall into the master bedroom and right up to a . . .

Nixiel: Safe. Ash and fire.

SIXTEEN BROKEN LOCKPICKS LATER

Nixiel swipes out the gems, gold, and a suspicious missive, as well as an ebony greatsword

Nixiel: Now if I can just get out without being detected, that'd be smashing.

Stops to salivate over the alchemy station

Snatches a drought for better sneaking. Downs it in one gulp

Shoots up the stairs and out the door before either person realizes that shadow was a panicking Telvanni mage

Talvas: Nixie!

Nixiel: Hurry, Talvas! I got the dirt! Let's dish it and go back to Tel Mithryn!

Nixiel and Talvas find Adril Arano in The Retching Netch where Nixiel proudly presents him with the Ulens' letter

Adril Arano: Great, I want you to go bring them to justice.

Nixiel: Seht.

Talvas face palms so hard

Talvas: It's nearly midnight—

Nixiel: Sooner we go, sooner we're done.

Nixiel flounces into the wilderness of the ashlands

Proceeds to be separated from Talvas

While waiting for him to find her, she picks scathecraw and trama root

A rando Imperial woman appears and immediately starts attacking

FIVE ICE SPIKES LATER

Bloody n'wah.

Nixiel picks MORE scathecraw and trama root

Nixiel: Oh hey, I can see our mushroom from here!

Talvas: Nixiel!

Nixiel: There you are, you fetcher!

Nixiel and Talvas sneak over mounds of ash

Talvas: Why are we sneaking?

Nixiel: The element of surprise!

Talvas: We're not even there yet!

Nixiel: But we will be!

. . . until they reach a river

Nixiel: I always forget Solstheim has a river.

Talvas: It flows right by our mushroom!

Nixiel: How would I know? Our mushroom doesn't have windows!

While looking for a way to cross, they find an empty camp

Talvas: Have we been here before?

Nixiel: Oblivion if I know.

Further uphill they find some rocks to jump on

Nixiel: We need a good water walking spell.

Talvas: Fat chance Master Neloth will teach it to us.

They arrive next to the walls of the fort

Nixiel: It's the middle of the night! They'll never see us coming!

There is a guard outside that totally sees them coming

Naturally Nixiel and Talvas land blast her with magic

Nixiel: Hey, wait, wait, wait! It's a Morag Tong agent! They're finally going to kill me!

Talvas: Why do you sound so excited?!

Nixiel: I've been waiting for this day since I made my mom cry by joining House Telvanni.

Talvas: There are so many things wrong with this entire thing.

Nixiel: Hey, hold up, aren't those Redoran Guards?

Talvas: Yes, Arano was sending them to root out the Ulens.

Nixiel: I totally spaced out for that. Well! They're dead now! Want something done right, send a Telvanni!

Talvas: There's so much wrong with that, too.

They sneak in

Talvas: Why are there sculls in the walls?

Nixiel: Hlaalu have such a bad sense of style. They get it from their Imperial boyfriends.

One Shot One Kill Sneak Attack with an Ice Spike on a Morag Tong Agent

Talvas ice blasts the next two agents

Nixiel steals their sweetrolls

Nixiel: Hey, another safe!

TWO BROKEN LOCKPICKS LATER

Nixiel: I'm getting better at this.

Talvas: That bothers me.

Nixiel: Stop being so bothered by everything, Azura!

A little further on . . .

Nixiel: An alchemy station!

Talvas: Stop being so distracted by everything!

Nixiel face palms at Talvas' mimicking

Convenient chain to lower spike door is pulled

Mirri Severin plus cohorts immediately attack

Nixiel ganks Mirri Severin

Nixiel: This safe key would've been nice to have when I was breaking into her house.

Talvas: Nixiel!

Nixiel continues to swipe their alchemy ingredients

Nixiel: They won't need them.

Talvas: Whatever. Hey, is this a training room?

Nixiel: Looks like a wrestling arena to me.

More chains must be pulled

Talvas: Why is this place so creepy?

Nixiel: Because Hlaalu are creepy, duh.

Nixiel skips over several pressure plates in her never ending quest to keep pulling chains, both physically and verbally

Nixiel ganks Tilisu Severin and proceeds to fall into a water torture chamber

Talvas ganks everyone else

Nixiel: FACE THE WRATH OF HOUSE — oh, you've killed them all.

Nixiel foists a bunch of armor pieces into Talvas' bag, only for him to put the helmet on

Nixiel: You look drunk.

Talvas: And you don't?

Nixiel: Wash your mouth out with ash, you s'wit.

The two make their way back to the exit

Nixiel: This place reminds me of Master Neloth's ex girlfriend's house.

Talvas: Uh, that wasn't his girlfriend.

Nixiel: You sure, bug eyes?

Talvas: Let's just get back to Raven Rock so we can go back home.

Outside they cross the stream and enter the burnt remains of the forest

Then a wild burnt spriggan appears

Nixiel: TALVAS!

Talvas: I'm going to sit this one out.

Nixiel screams profanities to the Reclamations, the Saints, and the Daedra as she ganks the spriggan with ice spikes over and over again

Nixiel angrily picks yet more scathecraw and trama root

Breton Mage: HA!

Nixiel and Talvas come across two Breton mages blasting each other with ice and fire

The pyromancer smokes the cryomancer, only for Nixiel to put her on ice before Talvas can use his sumooned Frost Atronach

Nixiel: Bloody half-breeds.

Talvas: Please just stop picking all the scathecraw.

Nixiel and Talvas make it back to Raven Rock; Talvas tries to take his Frost Atronach inside Councilor Morvayn's house

Nixiel: Please stop.

Nixiel approaches Adril Arano

Nixiel: Your ashy little problem has been swept into the trash.

Talvas: She means we took care of the assassins.

Adril Arano rushes to tell Councilor Morvayn EVERYTHING

Councilor Morvayn: Nixiel Veres? Since you ended the lives of the people who wanted to end mine, you can have their house.

Nixiel: Sweet.

Talvas: We are not going back home, are we?

Nixiel and Talvas go to the marketplace

Nixiel: I need that helmet now.

Talvas: But Nix—

Nixiel: For the love of the Three, just let me sell it!

After taking care of some business, Nixiel and Talvas head over to Severin Manor

Nixiel: Hey look! Some scathecraw and trama root I missed earlier!

Talvas bursts into tears

Talvas: Shouldn't we tell Master Neloth we got a house?

Nixiel: Maybe?

They proceed to not tell Master Neloth anything

[nightingaletrash]

I’m replaying the Pact storyline, and I think I’ve figured out the things that bothered me most so far, so here’s my ideas for rewriting portions of the storyline to improve cohesion between zones and the overall feel of the story. This post covers Bleakrock, Bal Foyen, Stonefalls, Deshaan, Shadowfen, and Eastmarch. Riften on the other hand is getting a huge overhaul which I’ll make a separate post about, because I don’t much care for the Companions and how they were presented in this game  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Under the cut because it’s kinda long.

Bleakrock, Bal Foyen, and Stonefalls are mostly driven by the idea that you’re conscripted to the war effort against the Covenant. You start out as a soldier as opposed to an agent like in AD and DC.

You’re not the first conscript that Tanval has sent into the Indoril family tomb, just the latest, and the first to succeed - that combined with your other accomplishments in repelling the Covenant is why he decides to send you to help Garen at Ash Mountain. While he has faith in his son, he wants to be certain that he has the best soldiers at his side to ensure his safety.

Tanval is known to boast about Garen on occasion, reminding him to be careful before sending him off on his tasks, really building up his fatherly pride in his son and the bond they share to make Garen’s death and Tanval’s reaction all the more tragic. Maybe he even falls mid-battle and is then raised by General Serien, forcing Tanval to strike down his own son whom he loved more than life itself, thus making Tanval’s fall from grace all the more tragic and understandable.

Holgunn is your commanding officer in Stonefalls, and is the one who sends you to Deshaan to investigate reports of the Llodos Plague once Stonefalls is secure as opposed to you delivering a letter to some random guy’s cousin. He jokes about being reluctant to give up his best soldier, but knows you’re needed more elsewhere now that Stonefalls is secure for the time being.

Deshaan is mostly the same, but with more acknowledgement of your accomplishments in the previous zones. High ranking officials recognise you as a war hero due to your efforts against the Covenant, as opposed to acting like you’re some random sellsword who showed up out of nowhere.

Similarly, Almalexia is treated as a major member of the Pact’s leadership, and is fully acknowledged as one of the major reasons that it even exists. Many dunmer (especially those of House Indoril) consider her THE leader of the Pact given her status as a Living Goddess, for her part in the Akaviri War, and her part in helping to establish the Pact in the first place.

When the Maulborn threaten Mournhold, she has the Vestige deal with the daedra in the Temple while she ensures the safety of high-ranking Pact officials in the city. If you ask why she’s giving you the harder task, she waves it off by saying that she would not give you a task that you could not accomplish, but alludes to wanting to keep up appearances of having control.

Upon completing the Deshaan storyline, Almalexia then sends you to Shadowfen to investigate threats to the Pact’s stability, and she grants you her full authority as a Hand of Almalexia, thus changing your status from conscripted-solider-turned-war-hero to a personal agent of a Living Goddess (whether you like it or not.)

Vicecanon Hrondar isn’t abducted from Stormhold like he is in game - as it conflicts with the fact that he was replaced prior to the Vestige’s arrival in Stormhold, and thus kidnapping him makes no sense - but rather the Vicecanon’s informant sees some citizens being taken into the ruins, which leads to the Vestige discovering the Dominion’s presence under Stormhold, along with information on Ten-Maur-Wolk. This forces the Skin Stealer impersonating Hrondar to agree to an attack on the ruins, which he then attempts to sabotage to prevent the operation from falling apart.

There’s more general upset in Stormhold upon the revelation that Vicecanon Hrondar was replaced by a Dominion spy; the city’s citizens have no idea who to trust and there’s a great deal of conflict, with people accusing one another of being spies for the Dominion. Rifts begin to deepen between the already-divided populace.

The Shadowscales are more involved in the efforts to drive out the Dominion, and are present at Loriasel.

When arriving in Eastmarch, you aren’t directed to Thane Mera Stormcloak because you ‘look like the kind of person she needs’ but because she’s the one who requested your presence (in-game Heita-meen claims you were requested in Eastmarch, yet this never gets addressed again). Mera needs someone to help her investigate the Stormfists and, as a war hero and agent of Almalexia, you come highly recommended.

You’re recognised by Jorunn as a Pact Hero and agent of Almalexia, and is aware of your prior accomplishments.

The Breton illusionist, Dhelan, is no longer in anyway involved in Eastmarch. Fort Amol sees a brief return of the Shadowfen Skin-Stealers; deserters from Ruuvitar’s regiment who stole the remaining potion that took Fildgor’s contract so they could make enough gold to avoid persecution from the Dominion for their desertion. Some dialogue changes depending on whether or not you’ve already completed Shadowfen, but it plays out much the same way regardless.

There is now a smack Prince Irnskar option. You’re welcome.

Naryu remains involved in Eastmarch after the events of Fort Amol. She says that she’s no alchemist like her brother Odral, but she’s picked up enough from him over the years to help the Ternion Monks slow the spread of the Daedric Poison that’s killing Jorunn - she explains that the Tong will overlook her stepping the bounds of her contract, as its to save Jorunn and that can only benefit the Tong’s reputation. She then receives orders from the Tong, a writ to end the life of Fildgor Orcthane. She joins the Pact army at Jorunn’s Stand, and helps the Vestige reach Fildgor.

Almalexia is present alongside the rest of the Pact leadership. In fact, she is the only reason that the Vestige is able to reach Skuldafn, which is famously impossible to reach without wings in Skyrim.

While Fildgor and his forces have had a decade to access the Dragon shrine and its portal to Sovngarde and create their own ways of moving in and out, the Pact doesn’t have the same advantage. Almalexia uses her divine power to get the Vestige inside of the shrine safely, and gives them portal stones that will allow their troops to filter into the ruins without any interference from Fildgor’s mages.

The Pact is cemented, and Almalexia gives Jorunn her blessing to take the position of High King of the Ebonheart Pact. 

When deciding what to do with Fildgor, you can kill him yourself, allow Jorunn to kill him, or allow Naryu to execute him. You can entertain the idea of sparing him, but Naryu’s writ demands his death and Jorunn and Almalexia agree that it would simply be delaying the inevitable to spare him there and then.

Naryu then departs Skyrim to return to Mournhold, but promises that she and the Vestige will see each other again.

After returning to Jorunn’s Stand, the Vestige is informed that the Worm Cult has arrived in the Rift and is causing chaos. Almalexia advises that Jorunn send the Vestige to deal with the threat, which he agrees to.

[thereismagicinthesepages]

Pop Culture Entity Challenge: Hircine, Part 1

Stolen from @highpriestness

This is meant to be a sort of bonding and questionnaire in regards to spirits, entities, and deities you may work with in Pop Culture.

You can use it as a 30 day challenge, an ask meme to ask for questions, or simply write them all however you feel.

General Questions:

1. What is the name of the entity and what is their canon universe?

Hircine. The Elder Scrolls anthology.

2. What drew you to this entity? What drew you to their world?

The Elder Scrolls universe has been close to my heart for a very long time. In particular, Skyrim. It’s a beautifully created fantasy world full of colorful characters and lore, and it came to life for me. I’ve put many hours of playtime into the game, running new characters with varying skills and trying new things. It’s always a unique experience and one I never regret diving into.

Hircine himself interested me from the first time I met him in-game. He is the Great Hunter, and the quest in Skyrim (my first encounter with him) leads you to him by way of helping a werewolf NPC who had been cursed by him. Many of the characters in the game frame Daedra as being evil or bad, they are considered demons against the godly presence of the Aedra; the Divines. Hircine’s actions throughout this quest are harsh, but he is also one of the more agreeable Daedra.

Hircine appears in the game as a white stag that you need to hunt down and kill, then his Aspect will appear to tell you to hunt down the same werewolf who asked for your help. You can refuse, but he will warn you that other hunters will be going after the werewolf regardless. You then have two options; Defy Hircine and save the werewolf from the hunters, or join the hunt and kill him. Either way, Hircine will reward you with one of his artifacts. I always choose to spare the werewolf.

What actually draws me to Hircine is my already great love of nature. Deer and Wolves have always been very close to my heart, wolves in particular. Hircine is the father of lycanthropy and thus werewolves are his people. Also while I myself am not a hunter in the strictest sense, I do support and respect those that do hunt, and I respect and make use of animals’ sacrifices on a regular basis. I often pick up roadkill or take hunter waste and use the bones, pelts, feathers, ect. in crafts, as offerings to my gods, or just as general decor,

Also, going back to Hircine’s Quest, if you choose to kill the hunters to save your werewolf friend, Hircine remains impressed with you for “turning the hunt inside-out.” He appreciates alternative thinking, and he just wants to see his Hunters overcoming obstacles to reach their goal. That’s the true Hunt, and he reminds me of that frequently. I don’t have to dawn a bow and shoot a deer, my Hunt can be any goal I’m reaching for, every obstacle I am trying to over come, regardless of how small or massive. Afterall, hunters take on prey of all sizes, right? From a hunting spider catching a tiny insect, to a dragon hunting a mammoth.

3. Did you choose them or did they tap you? How?

A little bit of both. I am a fairly recent baby witch and pagan, and at first I was really only looking into “real” gods, in particular I started with the Egyptian and Greek pantheons, as I already had very strong connections to both. However, I did begin to see others weaving pop culture into their witchcraft, and I eventually discovered Pop Culture Paganism. It clicked for me, it made so much sense, that these worlds and characters that I put so much love and time into, that someone put heart, soul and life into, could be considered “real” and hold power in their own rights.

I already believed in the Infinite Universes theory, wherein there could be a universe out there somewhere where literally anything could exist. Hearing that others worshiped gods based on works of fiction, or even other non-deified entities from those works, was eye-opening for me. I started researching. I wanted to learn more. I found a particular tumblr user who worshipped the Daedra and that clicked with me. I love so many of the Daedra, something about them always spoke to me. Clavicus Vile, Sheogorath, Molag Bal, Hircine....

Shortly after this revelation, I started researching how to worship PC entities. I wasn’t really all that solid on my more “traditional” pagan beliefs, let alone branching out into mostly uncharted territory. There was so little help on how to begin. I found posts about manifesting, about working with them as spirits, as archetypes, creating thoughtforms and servitors.... It was a lot of information to pick through, and a lot to think about. Even now I’m having some trouble beginning working with some entities I’d like to approach, because thus far all of the beings I’ve been working with are considered gods in their own rights. I am having a harder time figuring our how to work with a mortal character who may not want to be deified.

Regardless, while I was in the midst of all of this research and soul-searching, Hircine did tap me. I had actually forgotten the initial feeling, I had to go back to my journal to remember. I was asleep in bed asleep one night and heard a sort of crinkling sound. I got a vivid vision of large, leather boots crunching through dried leaves in a dense forest. My mind immediately screamed Hircine.

I put off contacting him for a bit after that, as I was still unsure, but upon realizing that the Hunter Moon was coming up, I couldn’t ignore the signs. I found a young buck skull that I got from a roadkill deer I processed a few years ago, and set it and some crystals out near a window where they could absorb the moonlight. I left him some bread and water, and waited.

I don’t remember if it was the following day, or a few days later, as I’m terrible at keeping an up-to-date journal, but I know that shortly thereafter, I was heading to work early in the morning. As I was walking out to my car, I felt a compulsion to look out at my back yard. There were a number of deer standing there. That’s not so uncommon, we have a doe that seems to frequently hang out behind the house, I see her often. What was unusual, is that she was accompanied by three other does. I usually only see the one. As I cautiously stepped forward for a better look, a large buck suddenly bolted past, leading the does back into the woods.

The feeling of elation that rose inside of me was amazing. I love seeing deer anyway, but to me it was very strongly a sign from Hircine. I sensed a presence there that I’d never before experienced. I thanked him, watched the herd leave, and continued on my way.

Since then, I get occasional messages from him, either in similar form, or just hearing his voice. I get this with most of my main deities, either hearing them in my head, or just getting a strong feeling about a situation and knowing it to be one of my gods communicating. I have a fair number of deities I appeal to, so sometimes it’s hard to decipher who exactly is trying to speak. I have no such ambiguity with Hircine, as I always distinctly hear his voice from the game, that clever, echoey sort of voice that emanates from the Stag aspect.

4. How do you typically communicate?

This is what I get for writing too much for each question;; As stated above, he often speaks directly to me, in the voice I know as his from Skyrim. He often gives me advice, though it’s usually in a sort of “tough love” form. If I’m feeling frustrated or discouraged, he’ll tell me things like “a hunter presses on regardless of hardship” or “the hunt is not yet over”. Usually it relates to hunting, but it always fits my circumstances.

5. What role does this entity play in their universe?

Hircine is the God of the Hunt and Father of Manbeasts. He created the various forms of lycanthropy in Tamriel. Every Era, he will put on a Great Hunt for which he will choose a number of mortal candidates to participate in. It could be as simple as sending hunters to kill a rogue werewolf, to making his champions navigate a maze of Daedric creatures while transformed into hares.

Hircine is revered by hunters and offers his followers the chance to hunt with him for eternity in the Hunting Grounds, Hircine’s Oblivion Realm. He has a fondness for predators, and values Strength, Speed, Guile and Cunning.

6. What kind of relationship do you have with this entity?

I offer my personal “hunts” to Hircine, using his wisdom to overcome the obstacles in my life. He offers me advice and council, occasionally being stern about it, but really only when I need it. We have a pretty positive relationship, I think. I have always had a reverence for nature, and I think he appreciates that. While I don’t actually hunt animals as prey, I still am able to take the lessons he teaches to put towards everyday life, and I am still able to offer him what I consider traditional offerings, like bones and pelts from animals, due to my taxidermy work.

7. What aspects does this entity reside over?

Traditionally, the Hunt is his Sphere, called many names (the Great Game, the Chase, ect). I also consider the other traits he values as being part of this. He values strength, speed, guile, and my personal addition; cunning. He often appears as a fox to trick people, and will grant those he finds to be clever knowledge and tricks of their own. He takes pride in seeing someone openly defy him and turn a hunt around on his chosen hunters.

He values loyalty. He values nature and animals and a respect for them. He values pride in oneself and strength of heart and character. He values independence, but also the ability to run with a pack or herd. He values both the hunter and the prey, and he values someone who can flip on those roles very highly.

8. What kinds of offerings do you/would you give this entity?

I am still discovering this myself. Certainly a very traditional offering to Hircine is the act of hunting. Again, I alter this to be overcoming challenge or reaching for a goal. I will sometimes dedicate such things to him as offerings. I would also offer him animal bones or pelts. I believe he would like prey animals, like deer or rabbit in particular, but also predators like wolves or big cats. I often offer him cool water, which is a traditional offering for many old gods, and in the wild is such an essential thing. Though I have not yet, I would offer him natural foods; berries, fruits, thinks like that.

I offer him meat sometimes, usually whatever I have, though I think he would particularly appreciate things like venison, rabbit or bear meat. I have given him a number of stones and crystals in the past, things close to the earth. Alcohol is another thing I have and would like to offer him. Particularly I think he would appreciate red wines and mead, though I have access to neither right now.

Arrows, arrowheads, daggers or hunting knives, bows, and other hunting tools would be other good things to dedicate to him, I think. Especially if they’re used to hunt with. Imagery of deer, wolves, bears, foxes or werecreatures would all be good as well. I also associate him with crocodiles, mostly because of his Daedroth creatures. I feel like he would also appreciate tattoos as well, particularly of a tribal sort.

9. What kinds of animals, stones, elements, plants, etc do you associate with this entity? Why?

Stones I used for him were clear quartz, like a clear lake or like the full moon. Moonstone, for obvious reasons; bloodstone, representing blood from his prey. Red or orange stones, representing the blood moon. I’m still learning and experimenting with others.

Animals that I associate with him, I mentioned some, but really any hunter animal. Wolves, bears, foxes, crocodiles, spiders, and birds of prey in particular. Deer and elk are also very strong associations for me, as well as other antlered or horned prey animals like gazelle. I also associate him with other creatures in Tamriel such as Daedroth, dragons, unicorns, sabrecats and werecreatures. I also have a loose association with him and sharks, again for the predator aspect.

I strongly associate him with the element of Earth. I always feel a connection to the Earth with him, to plants and animals and nature. He makes me feel very grounded and in touch with my surroundings. I could also connect him to fire, for the occasional harshness he exhibits, the flaming reds of the blood moon, his ability to go from warm and gentle to fierce and burning. I could make connections to air and water as well, but Earth is certainly the strongest elemental association for him, to me.

Plants are tricky, I’m still learning meanings and correspondences so I have trouble pinning them to spirits and deities, though I do strongly associate him with Hemlock and evergreens in general. As well as with fall foliage. I have the image of a stag moving through a forest of evergreens and that feels very Hircine to me.

I associate him with the smell of musk, pine, and a general earthy smell, like freshly disturbed soil. I associate him with the smell of the forest, with the crisp mountain air. The sound of birdcalls and wolf howls. The full moon.

10. Are there any songs, books, or quotes you associate with this entity? Why?

I’m still looking for things like this that remind of of him. Of course there are his in-universe books such as The Totems of Hircine, and any of his spoken dialogue in game (”Well met, hunter” springs to mind), but as for things in our world, one song I really strongly associate with him is “The Stampede” from The Lion King soundtrack.

11. How and when did you first encounter them as an entity?

Told the story above, but there was the strange dream/vision of him walking in the woods, and then the buck in my back yard.

12. How are they particularly involved in your life? Do they teach you anything specific? If so, what?

He teaches me patience and control, dignity and pride, perseverance and strength. He reminds me that a successful hunter has to be aware and in control of her surroundings. He reminds me that sometimes the prey escapes, and that’s okay. He reminds me that even the greatest hunters sometimes lose their mark and go home hungry. He reminds me that it is important to keep trying and keep improving. To keep my eyes on the target, but not to get lost in it either. The wilds are dangerous and they require my attention. They are also beautiful and demand my reverence.

There is excitement and also sadness in a successful hunt. You have taken something very beautiful and precious from the world, and that demands a moment of introspection. But you have also triumphed over your trial, and you will continue to thrive now with all that the hunt provided you. You have food, tools, clothing and shelter. The good sometimes comes with the bad, there is balance in all things and that must be accepted to be able to move on with one’s life.

He teaches me that there is a time and a situation where one should rely on the pack, be content and dependent upon the presence and assistance of others, but there are also times when the hunter must venture out alone. Some prey are best taken down with a group, some are best to be hunted solo.

He reminds me that all things are not as they seem. The hunter may hide himself from the prey if he is skilled enough. I must take care not to become the prey myself, and if the hunt should turn upon me, I must be clever and resourceful enough to escape my hunters. I must be mindful of those hidden hunters, and I must be hidden myself to be successful; either as a hunter or as prey. The strong and the smart survive, I must be one of the two to live; I must be both to thrive.

13. Do they have any identifying symbols in canon or otherwise?

Deer, mostly. Hircine is most known for appearing as a stag, or having the head or skull of one. But he has also appeared as a fox, a bear and a man. His children are the skinshifters, the werecreatures. His weapons are the spear and bow.

14. Do they have alternate versions, verses, or canons? Do you communicate with all or some of them?

Hircine appears slightly differently in each TES game, though it is always the same entity. I have based most of my worship on his appearance in Skyrim, as that is the one which I have the deepest connection with.

[ansu-gurleht]

okay so i went through the datamined books from eso, taking notes as i went. @boethiah sent me a message this morning about it, asking what i thought. so i figured i might as well get real comprehensive about taking down notes to answer decently, or at least do it to organize my thoughts. 

before she sent me that i hadn’t heard about this, so i went into it bright-faced and intrigued. i didn’t think my notes would end up too long, so i just figured i’d send them to her when i was done, even “talking” to her in the notes (you’ll see what i mean by that). 

but uh. as all things lore-related, i got a bit carried away. stopped almost halfway thru to go to class, and by then i’d started to notice some really weird, kinda silly shit in it. and then i noticed everybody in tesblr talking about it, and finally realized, “oh. so it’s like that.” so i figure i’ll post it here publicly instead.

despite the uh. obvious nonsense in a lot of this, i think there’s a lot of interesting things hidden away. so what i’m going to do is just post my notes under the read-more. i’m too lazy to organize them into something more coherent lol. they’re basically just me commenting on certain lines and stuff. 

i won’t like, really go into why most of this is stupid, bc other people have already done so, and better than i probably could’ve. but you’ll know. somethings i quote things and just. have no idea how to even address them other than, at best, “??????” either bc it doesn’t make much sense, eludes useful analysis, or is just stupid.

anyways, here goes:

book 1:

azura: - "the Path"? am i wrong or has a "Path" never been referenced in khajiiti lore?

khenarthi: - alkosh comforts khenarthi after lorkhaj died? yeah right. - khenarthi's role as psychopomp for azurah mirrors kyne's role for shor. but azura doesn't factor into nord/atmoran mythology at all.

jone and jode: - azurah cares for jone and jode? interesting. (also, "Bright Moons"? full moons?)

lorkhaj: - lorkhaj as "White Lion?" - namiira (the Great Darkness) followed lorkhaj as his burden? - mention of a "path" again, made by lorkhaj with purpose. sounds yokudan. - "in conflict with himself" & "represents the duality of the Khajiiti soul" ... desert and jungle ... strife, hardship, and life, love ... both tainted deadly by nirni, according to ahnissi - "We honor his sacrifice by walking the Path with purpose and resisting the call of the Dark." ... the Path again ... the Dark? namiira? - (the khajiit seem to conflate namira and nocturnal. this isn't a new concept, as they both genuinely do overlap in many ways, but an interesting one.) - "the true spirit of Lorkhaj will sometimes appear" ... "by Azurah" - nerevar/ine, "or Khenarthi" - hjalti, "or by his oldest name" - ...ysmir?

magrus: - all of this magrus stuff is new, to my knowledge. - the importance of him fleeing from "Boethra and Lorkhaj" probably excites you :P - "fell into the Moonshadow" ... "too full of fear to rule a sphere" ... "tore out his other eye" (odin parallel? a "failed" odin, maybe? unless seeing "out of one eye" is metaphorical) - "Varliance Gate"???? "Aether Prism"???? they're the sun, but those names are brand new afaik. overall a strange alternative to the story of magnus and the sun - "Some sorcerers hold that Magrus left the eye willingly" - more odin stuff

book 2:

- azurah knows all the names of all the spirits, their protonyms? that's interesting. a lot of that "protonymic" lore is derived from the whole "true names have power" stuff, popular in magical circles from sources like kabbalah thru the lens of crowley. - "And Fadomai told stories of her children and her favorite aspects of each of them. When she reached Azurah, she smiled and told her favored daughter she could not decide. And Fadomai died." ;----; - "sat in the Great Darkness for timeless ages" ... sat with namiira? - seems to have carved moonshadow from the great darkness. (the great darkness seems to have dual meaning as both oblivion and namiira. then again, i think only clan mother ahnissi said the great darkness was namiira, so that (morrowind) lore might be outdated.) - this scene with lorkhaj and his empty dark heart is......interesting. - "UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA AZU RA" - you can pick out "namiira" and "azura" in this, but the meaning of "UR" and "DRA" elude me. - lorkhaj gets his heart torn out YET AGAIN. very rude azurah - the "Moon Beast" and its hunger remind me of the yokudan sep. - i think once upon the time "dro-m'Athra" referred to daedra in general, but i think eso has made them a specific type of daedra resembling khajiit. even more specifically, some kind of "dark khajiit" born from dead evil khajiit. - "lighting the fire with lanterns of love and mercy" - your vivec is showing, azurah. or i guess, the other way around. - this "ashes of Lorkhaj" bit gets me thinking about ysmir, again. but i'm not sure what to do with that.

book 3

sheggorath: - now THIS is a not shitty interpretation of sheggorath! he's not a "god of madness," but a god of mental fortitude, a god who tests convinction. - more stuff about "the Path" - "must be ... overcome before a Khajiit can visit Hermorah's library"? - "Sheggorath is dead and has been replaced by something Other" - the hero of kvatch? but if this is from eso, that hasn't happened yet? unless the mantling of sheogorath is a pretty common occurrence; i remember someone on tumblr suggested that this might happen every era.

orkha: - "Orkha ... followed Boethra back through the Many Paths" ... what does that mean? - "Lorkhaj, Khenarthi, and Boethra battled the demon in the ancient songs" - ... as trinimac? - "but Orkha could only be banished and would not die" ;) - "serve as tests along the Path" - so far these princes are being painted similarly to their house of troubles counterparts

dagon (also called merrunz.) - no reference to merrunz being the kitty cat. :( next - ...okay not really. "explore the Great Darkness rather than the Many Paths"? - molagh "tortured him until the creation of the World?" but "the wife of Molagh freed Merrunz"? who is "the wife of Molagh"?

molagh (balls) - "twelve Demon Kings"? should probably look into how they got that number - "Boethra and Molagh fought to a standstill before the lattice, but it was Azurah who shackled the Demon King with secrets only she knows." - i dont have anything to say about this really, just an interesting line i think. - "you will overcome him with the might of Boethra, the Will Against Rule." - interesting...afaik, aside from HAVING a khajiit name, boethiah never really factored into their faith that much, and wasn't ever mentioned in clan mother ahnissi. i wonder if azurah at some point attempted to unify her plans for the dunmer and the khajiit.

merid-nunda - interestingly, the khajiit seem to call her by her magna-ge name. - "False Spirit of Greed"? - magrus "loved only himself and his own creations"? idk if this seems all that congruent with the magrus from his own description - "cold spirit, born of light without love" - interesting - "blame her for orchestrating the death of might Lorkhaj"??!?!?!? what?????????? - "When Merid-Nunda dared assault the Lattice, Azurah struck her down before the Varliance Gate and dragged her away from it. She then cast Merid-Nunda into the Void and bound her there with mirrors. The nomads say she has since escaped." this whole thing is interesting

book 4

nirni: - nothing interesting on nirni.

y'ffer: - y'ffer "corrupted by the Great Darkness," (namira), who apparently killed nirni???!??! what??????? - worth noting that ahnissi doesn’t paint y’ffer as “corrupted” or evil or anything. in her words he’s kinda just a moron who doesn’t *get it* and does his own thing instead.  - don’t get the obsession with making namiira some like. crazy super evil being. feels like eso took a look at the list of princes and was like “who hasn’t tried to destroy/take over the world yet. that’s what daedric princes do right”

hircine - hircine doesn't get a funny ta'agra name, i guess. - graht-elk?

hermorah - hermorah helps azurah maintain the ja-kha'jay?

sangiin - according to what this says about sangiin, khajiit are actually NOT one of the most hedonistic races on tamriel. suuuuuuuuure, buddy.

book 5

- a look at the khajiit afterlife w/ azurah in moonshadow. - first you walk the sands, then you walk the glass, then you walk the thorns, then you have a good time, then azurah sends you back to nirn do something else (reincarnated)? but it might just be this one guy who goes off to do something ("Bring my children back"), he seems kinda special. no idea who he's supposed to be.

book 6

- all this shit about akha and alkosh and alkhan is bullshit. the fuck is akha even supposed to be? according to his name you'd assume an association with akatosh, but alkosh is akatosh, right?

akha: - this book says akha is the first cat. ahnissi says alkosh is the first cat. - "Pathfinder and the One Unmourned" - are we talking about akatosh or dagoth ur here. - "Many Paths"??? again?? what are they. knockoff walking ways? - "mated with the Winged Serpent of the East [akavir], the Dune Queen of the West [yokuda], and the Mother Mammoth of the North [atmora]. He then went to the South [pyandonea] and never returned." then alkosh shows up and says "yikes that akha guy was a little fucked huh?"

alkosh: - alkosh is "The Dragon King" and "Highmane." association with the Mane of the khajiit - "In time, the children of Akha overthrew [Alkosh] and scattered his body on the West Wind." ...??? is this a reference to the middle dawn? seems unlikely - apparently khenarthi put him back together. also seems unlikely

alkhan: - oh so the khajiit recognize alduin now too. cool.

boethra: - and boethiah i guess, why not????

mafala: - mafala has always been part of khajiit religion, tho, afaik. she is the og clan mother. - "She watches over Eight of the Many Paths, each of which a Khajiit must walk in time." ?????????? wtf are the many paths!!!!! why are there eight of them!!!!!! is this a reference to the spiral skein, or satellite realms (the spokes) of it? - forreal i think they gave up on pretense here when they started listing allies and shit. - "Her numbers are Eight and Sixteen, and these are two of her keys." this just sounds like something from the 36 lessons tbh. this doesn't sound like khajiit lore at all

book 7

lorkhaj (moon beast): - confusingly, lorkhaj as fadomai's favored son and lorkhaj as the moon beast are called by the same name, and despite this have separate entries in these books. - wonder if there's some equivalent in other myths to the moon beast. he seems pretty interesting, being "born of the dark heart of Lorkhaj" - there's UR DRA again, attached to namiira, again, who is apparently an enemy of the khajiit.

namiira: - apparently eso has rebranded namiira as like, an absolute enemy of the khajiit, with the dro-m'athra as her corrupted-khajiit minions or something? except i thought dro-m'athra originated from the moon beast? anyways, ahnissi only said that the great darkness became namiira. didn't say that was a bad thing necessarily. - also, her khajiiti ta'agra name, namiira, just so happens to be her protonym, NA MII RA.

noctra: - oh, so they do have nocturnal, as "noctra". - wait, so she's the "daughter of twilight"??? isn't twilight, idk, azura's thing???? (i feel like i've heard nocturnal be associated with twilight before, but it still makes little sense. it was probably from eso, too.) - boethra separated noctra from namiira. one could say she *stole* noctra from namiira ;) - noctra is ok by the khajiit, whereas her progenitor namiira is not. ok?

varmiina: - ok we have vaermina now too i guess. why the fuck not. - "The Lost Daughter. This spirit was not of any litter, but was born from Fadomai's fear of losing her children." - "Azurah killed this dark spirit in the Underworld" what the fuck is "the Underworld". they just be making shit up now

[?????] (no, really. that's what it says. dunno if that's a placeholder or intentional): - "[?????] A spirit of vengeance. It has no will of its own, as it was born from Azurah's grief after the death of Fadomai and Lorkhaj." ????? - "It sometimes appears in songs as a black panther, a warrior in ebony armor, or as a hidden sword." idk about "a black panther," but the "warrior in ebony armor" evokes ebonarm, who's technically still canon, and "a hidden sword" could be umbra. not sure what the connection here is.

[vanus]

how does ko feel abt each daedric prince? :eyes:

“I actually have my notes right here! All of them are so fascinating to study, Marquis actually helps a bunch when he’s not trying to get me to believe things like how small Dagon is or how Hermaeus Mora actually has hands in the abyss apparition he chooses. I actually haven’t met all of them but these are the ones I have!”

*A couple pages of notes are shown, the edges of them worn and old but in surprisingly good condition*Clavicus Vile: Barbas was either the weirdest or cutest dog I’ve ever seen depending on whether he was talking at the moment. Clavicus Vile was an interesting daedra to talk to, I returned Barbas to him instead of taking his offer though. The mask will be interesting to look at later. Hermaeus Mora: Meeting a mass of tentacles was not as fun as the cultists make it out to be. Hermaeus Mora could’ve provided never before seen information about the daedra, I almost took the deal before Marquis told me not to. I asked for Marquis to step in if he thought i was in over my head, I see now that this was one of those situations. Marquis has been gone for 2 years but I’m in sostheim now, these black books are worrying even more so when Miraak showed up, I wish I knew where Marquis was. Marquis is back, and i may or may not have punched him, we found out more about Miraak. Confronted Miraak in Hermaeus Mora’s realm, Miraak’s fate was horrible and Mora had the nerve to ask for my servitude again.Jyggalag: *A messy scrawl fills this page, followed by neater footnotes* Jyggy is the daedric god of order and ugly colors, he almost kicked my ass. Hell of a fucking surprise when i found out the old Sheo was Jiglag, and by that i mean he fucking transformed in front of me, fun stuff. Yeah but I don’t honestly have a huge opinion about Jygylagg, he’s strong in a fight and a pain in the ass to deal with, he came to one daedric meetup and it sucked. Had Marquis fill out for Jyggalag (couldn’t you try to spell it right at least once) The extra information I was able to pry out of Marquis about Jyggalag and Sheo requires extra study.  Mehrunes Dagon: *The messy scrawl fills the beginning of this entry then returns to the neater writing* MEHRUNES DAGON LOVES TO EAT NETCH SHIT. I need to stop leaving my books around Marquis apparently. Found the Museum of Dawnstar after receiving a letter, it's nice to be back home and seeing my parents after so long. Marquis’ mood dropped immediately upon seeing the museum and the owner, Mr. Vesuius, who was clad in Mythic Dawn robes, reminder to ask marquis about it later. Inside of the museum was filled with daedric items I’d never thought I would get to see, Marquis looked like he wanted to burn down the place. Asked him about it, I was worried, turns out he’s a lot older than i thought, I’ll have to ask more about his time during the oblivion crisis. Gathered the pieces of The Razor, when we went to assemble them, the statue of dagon spoke to me at first but then focused on Marquis, they’re arguing about the Oblivion Crisis. Marquis is the Champion of Cyrodiil and Sheogorath. He destroyed the razor, let the owner go.  Meridia: A useful daedric prince but I could not stand to be in her presence for very long if all she was going to do was insult Marquis. Namira: Ran into a cultist of hers in a crypt and politely declined, cannibalism really isn't my thing, regardless of the information i could get. Nocturnal: I think if I ever have the chance to she could be an interesting Prince to talk to.  Sanguine: *The neat writing starts to degrade in quality for a couple sentences, presumably because she was drunk.* ThIS gUY IS A DAEDRA,, I knEw I coulDN’t outDrink A DAedra, OR WELL I guess I DiDn’t. SAMMY Is,, Nice aNd ThIS GoAt IS SMellY. I’m so glad that I can apparently still remember to take notes while im drunk, the hangover sucks though. Went on a wild goose chase all over the fucking country it seemed like, finally found the fort that he said to meet in. You ever see something and it takes your brain a while to process? Well that’s what happened to me when i entered the paradise. Sanguine was there and so was Sheogorath! Which is where I had to stop for a second. Sanguine was sitting in a throne of sorts drinking and laughing, and lounging on his lap was, well, The Mad God. Nothing I’ve read ever suggests that they would even talk to each other, much less lay on one another. I collected the rose and some confusing questions about the Daedric Prince of Insanity. Marquis was laughing his ass off when I found him later, apparently he was with me the whole time but ditched before i crashed in that temple.Sheogorath: *The ink here is more faded than the other entries except for a short passage which is fresh, suggesting its age* Visiting the blue palace when I heard about the pelagius wing, turns out it’s where Sheogorath has been vacationing. Sheogorath himself is a pain to keep up with, his mind goes in circles constantly, expected of a mad god though. Collected the Wabbajack, the prince almost seemed sad to let me go. 

*Newer entry with the same messy scrawl at the end* (I shouldn't be taking notes while I'm still pissed) Marquis my traveling companion is Sheogorath. I found out after we visited Dagon’s Shrine to piece together the razor, Dagon was more than happy to taunt him via statue. Confronted Marquis about it after dealing with Mr. Vesuius, fascinating implications though, that a mortal could take on the mantle of a daedra, I wonder how many times it’s happened before. Me and marquis worked it out, he's honestly like a brother to me if that even makes sense, an annoying all powerful older brother who I technically have to listen to. And Handsome.  Vaermina: Met up with the priest of Mara, Erandur, seems nice enough. The spell that all of these invaders and cultists are under is a marvel, maybe I’ll have time to study it later? The compulsion to take the staff was strong but I think my recent championship to Sheogorath must have alerted him, he helped me work through the compulsion so I could decide with a clearer head and told me that Vaermina was pushy but not to mind her too much. Maybe he doesn't like sharing?