#she needs time to work through everything and work on herself!!!!!

[scoupsakakitty]

More than Friends | idol!Scoups x reader | angst,fluff

The dorm buzzed with energy, laughter bouncing off the walls as the members sprawled across couches and bean bags, arguing about what movie to watch next. Y/N sat cross-legged on the carpet, her back leaning against the edge of the couch, where Seungcheol lounged comfortably.

He was laughing at something Wonwoo said, his head tipped back, eyes crinkled at the corners in that way that made Y/N’s heart skip. She quickly looked away, pretending to focus on the half-empty bowl of popcorn in her lap.

It wasn’t the first time she’d caught herself staring. And if Jeonghan’s knowing glances were anything to go by, it definitely wasn’t the first time someone else had noticed.

“Are you seriously just going to keep sitting there and pretending like you’re not in love with him?” Jeonghan’s voice was low as he leaned closer.

Y/N stiffened. “Would you keep your voice down?”

Jeonghan smirked. “They’re too busy arguing about movies to hear me.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Y/N.” Jeonghan’s voice softened, and she hated how easily he could see right through her. “You need to tell him.”

She shook her head, pretending to be more interested in the popcorn than the way Seungcheol’s laugh sent butterflies through her stomach. “It’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple.”

“No, it’s not,” she whispered sharply. “We’ve been friends for over ten years, Jeonghan. What if I tell him and it ruins everything? What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

Jeonghan gave her a look. “You don’t know that.”

But she did. Or at least she thought she did.

Before Jeonghan could press further, Seungkwan’s voice cut through the noise.

“Y/N, how do you even put up with Cheol all the time? Ten years? I’d lose my mind.”

Y/N forced a laugh. “We’re used to each other by now.”

“That’s not an answer,” Seungkwan teased.

Seungcheol leaned back, smirking. “She’s stuck with me, that’s why. We’re basically unbreakable.”

“Exactly,” Y/N said quickly, ignoring the heat rising in her cheeks. “He’s my best friend.”

Her heart sank the moment the words left her mouth.

Seungcheol grinned, completely unfazed. “See? Best friends.”

The words shouldn’t have hurt, but they did. And judging by the way Jeonghan’s gaze flickered toward her, he knew it too.

She tried to laugh along with the others, but something inside her shifted.

Maybe it was time to move on.

————————————————————————————-

Two weeks later, Y/N was seeing someone new.

His name was Minho. He worked in event planning, and he was charming, funny, and most importantly interested in her. When he’d asked her out, it felt like the universe giving her a push, so she said yes.

It was easy at first. Minho made her laugh and distracted her from the ache in her chest whenever she thought about Seungcheol.

But the more time she spent with Minho, the less time she had for Seungcheol.

And Seungcheol noticed.

“Where’s Y/N?”

It was the third time Seungcheol had asked that question in a week, and Jeonghan was starting to lose patience.

“She’s busy,” Jeonghan said, not even looking up from his phone. “Probably with Minho.”

Seungcheol’s jaw tensed.

“What’s so great about him anyway?”

Joshua raised an eyebrow. “You don’t even know him.”

“I don’t need to know him to know he’s not right for her.”

Jeonghan finally looked up, his expression carefully neutral. “And what makes you think that?”

Seungcheol hesitated, but before he could answer, Mingyu snickered from across the room.

“Dude, just admit it. You’re jealous.”

Seungcheol glared at him. “I’m not jealous.”

“Sure,” Vernon muttered under his breath.

“I’m not!”

Jeonghan set his phone down and crossed his arms. “Okay, then what’s the problem?”

Seungcheol opened his mouth, then closed it again. He didn’t know how to explain it. All he knew was that every time he saw Y/N with Minho, something inside him twisted painfully, and it wouldn’t go away.

“You’re all acting like this is normal,” he snapped, shoving himself off the couch. “But it’s not. She barely knows him, and now she’s acting like—like he’s more important than everything else.”

“Like he’s more important than you?” Jeonghan asked quietly.

Seungcheol froze.

“Cheol,” Joshua said, his voice softer now, “you need to figure out why this is bothering you so much.”

Seungcheol didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed his jacket and stormed out.

————————————————————————————-

The night air was cool against his skin as he stepped outside, but it did nothing to calm the storm in his chest.

What was wrong with him?

Why did it feel like his entire world was falling apart just because Y/N was dating someone?

He paced back and forth, his hands clenched into fists as he tried to make sense of the mess in his head.

“Seungcheol.”

He turned to see Jeonghan standing behind him, hands in his pockets and an annoyingly calm expression on his face.

“What?” Seungcheol snapped.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Excuse me?”

Jeonghan stepped closer. “You’re an idiot,” he repeated. “And you know why? Because you’re acting like you have some kind of right to be mad at her when you’re the one who’s been too scared to do anything about your feelings.”

Seungcheol flinched.

“You love her.” Jeonghan’s words hit him like a punch. “And instead of telling her that, you’ve spent years pretending you don’t. Now she’s finally trying to move on, and you’re mad? That’s not fair, Cheol.”

Seungcheol opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out.

Because Jeonghan was right.

He loved her.

And he’d been too blind or too scared to admit it.

“She loved you first, you know,” Jeonghan said quietly. “She’s loved you for years. But you kept pushing her away without even realizing it. So don’t stand here acting like she betrayed you when you’re the one who let her slip through your fingers.”

Seungcheol felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Fix it,” Jeonghan said, turning to walk away. “Before it’s too late.”

————————————————————————————-

Seungcheol didn’t sleep that night. He spent hours replaying every moment, every look, every touch—and suddenly, it all made sense.

The way she’d always been there for him. The way her smile softened when she looked at him. The way she laughed at his dumb jokes even when no one else did.

She loved him.

And he loved her too.

Now he just had to make sure she knew it.

————————————————————————————-

The practice room was loud, the sounds of sneakers squeaking against the floor and beats thumping through the speakers filling the space. But Seungcheol wasn’t paying attention.

His movements were sharp, almost aggressive as he led the group through their choreography, pushing harder than usual. He needed the distraction. He needed to drown out the thoughts that had been chasing him since his conversation with Jeonghan the night before.

She loved him. She’d always loved him.

And he’d been too scared to see it.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Seungkwan’s voice snapped him out of his daze.

“What?”

“You’ve been off all morning,” Seungkwan said. “And honestly, you kind of look like you’re about to punch someone.”

Seungcheol exhaled, dragging a hand down his face. “I’m fine.”

But then Mingyu’s voice rang out from across the room.

“Guys, did you hear? Y/N’s going on vacation!”

Seungcheol froze.

“With Minho,” Mingyu added, oblivious to the way Seungcheol’s entire body tensed. “Apparently it’s super last minute. She told me this morning.”

“What?” Seungcheol’s voice was sharp enough to make everyone stop and stare.

“She and Minho are flying out tomorrow,” Mingyu said. “Some beach resort or something.”

The room went completely silent as eleven pairs of eyes turned to Seungcheol, who looked like he’d just been punched in the gut.

Then chaos erupted.

“WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?!” Seungkwan shouted.

“GO TO HER!” Vernon added, shoving Seungcheol toward the door.

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!”

Jeonghan didn’t say anything. He just crossed his arms and gave Seungcheol a look that said, You know what you have to do.

Seungcheol didn’t need to be told twice.

————————————————————————————-

His heart felt like it was going to explode as he stood outside her apartment door, his fist hovering just inches away from knocking.

What if he was too late?

What if she’d already left?

What if—

The door opened.

“Seungcheol?” Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

She was dressed casually shorts and an oversized t-shirt but there was a suitcase by the door, and the sight of it made his stomach drop.

“You’re really leaving?”

She blinked. “What?”

“With Minho. Tomorrow.”

Her brows furrowed. “How did you—”

“Mingyu told me,” he cut in.

She sighed, stepping back to let him in. “It’s not a big deal, Cheol. It’s just a trip.”

“It is a big deal,” he said, his voice rising slightly. “You’re leaving with him. And I can’t—” He stopped, raking a hand through his hair. “I can’t let you do this.”

She stared at him, confused and a little defensive. “What do you mean you can’t let me? It’s my life, Seungcheol. I don’t need your permission.”

“That’s not what I meant!” he snapped.

“Then what did you mean?”

He took a shaky breath, his chest tightening. “I mean… I can’t watch you walk away. Not like this. Not with him.”

Her lips parted, but no words came out.

“I hate it, Y/N,” he said, his voice cracking. “I hate seeing you with him. I hate that he gets to have your time, your attention, when I’ve had it for years, and I was too stupid to realize what it meant.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and it made his heart ache even more.

“Why are you doing this now, Seungcheol?” she whispered.

“Because I can’t lose you.”

“You already did,” she said, her voice trembling. “When you called me your best friend. When you made it so clear that that’s all we’d ever be. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

He stepped closer. “I didn’t mean it. I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of ruining what we had.” He reached for her hand, holding it tightly. “Of losing you if I messed this up. But now I realize I’m losing you anyway, and it’s killing me.”

Her tears spilled over, and Seungcheol gently cupped her face.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you so much it scares me. And I know I don’t deserve you after everything I’ve put you through, but please—please don’t go.”

Her breath hitched, and for a moment, he thought she was going to pull away. But then she threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.

“You’re such an idiot,” she mumbled, her voice muffled by his shirt.

“I know.”

“You hurt me so much.”

“I know,” he said again, holding her tighter. “And I’m so, so sorry.”

She pulled back just enough to look up at him. “What if this doesn’t work? What if we ruin everything?”

“It won’t,” he promised. “Because I’m not letting you go. Not now. Not ever.”

She searched his eyes for any sign of doubt, but all she saw was sincerity and love.

So she kissed him.

It was soft at first, hesitant, but then it deepened, and all the tension that had been building between them for years melted away.

When they finally pulled apart, Seungcheol rested his forehead against hers, smiling.

“Cancel the trip.”

“I already did,” she admitted, and he laughed softly, kissing her again.

————————————————————————————-

The next day, Seungcheol walked into the practice room with Y/N’s hand in his, and the members erupted into cheers.

“About time!” Seungkwan yelled.

“Finally!” Mingyu added, throwing his arms in the air.

Jeonghan just smirked, leaning back against the wall. “Told you.”

Seungcheol rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop smiling as he looked at Y/N.

It had taken them years to get here.

But it was worth every second.

————————————————————————————

[coldfanbou]

Kinkcember Day 22: Size Kink

Today, we have actress Park Bo young, getting some extra practice with how her character acts.

Length 1.2K

Park Bo Young X Mreader

Boyoung felt your bulge rub against her as the two of you acted through the sex scene.  Even though you were both wearing modesty garments to protect yourself, she felt your cock through it; she could feel your size. It was making her wet as she felt your strong hands hold her wrists by her head. She wasn’t acting. Boyoung was getting turned on. Her soft moans were real. You kissed her passionately. Boyoung wrapped her legs around your waist, and her tongue lingered in your mouth as you played your part. The moment the director said cut, you pulled back; Boyoung reached forward, wanting to continue before she caught herself and realized the scene was over. “Everyone, we’re taking an hour break. Thank you for your hard work!” The director yells before climbing out of his chair and leaving the sound stage. Some of the stagehands begin cleaning up as you grab bathrobes for you and Boyoung. The young woman puts the bathrobe on and remains seated on the bed as you walk to your dressing room.

Boyoung takes a deep breath and tries to slow her heart rate as the last scene replays in her head. The work she had done with you previously didn’t set her up well for this scene. While she had always liked you, she saw a new side of you that she loved. The strength you showed when you held her down, the way you dominated her with your size, awakened something in her. She stood up slowly and went to your dressing room, wanting to continue the scene but actually performing the act this time.

You head to your dressing room after, trying to relax, when you get a knock on the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s Boyoung!” You walk over to the door and invite your costar inside. “Thanks for letting me in. What do you think about our scenes so far?” She asks, you sitting on your couch.

“I think they’re coming out pretty well. This last one, though… it's a little awkward, isn’t it?” You reply, feeling unsure about your performance in a sex scene.

“No, no! You’re doing great; I could feel everything,” Boyoung curses herself as she realizes what she’s said. “That’s not what I meant, hold on. I just mean that I could feel you putting everything you have into your performance.”

“Ah, that’s what you meant. I was a little worried you could feel me through the modesty garments.” You look down. The modesty garments covered your private areas, but wearing them didn’t give you the most confidence, especially considering your size. “These things are a bit thin, and it makes me a little self-conscious.”

“Ah, you shouldn’t be; you’re perfectly fine,” Boyoung says, patting your chest. “You’re nice and strong in more ways than one. Boyoung purses her lips, considering how to bring up the subject. “I don’t know if you know, but I like to get into my roles. So I’d like to take things a little further.”

“How do you suggest we do that?”

“I want you to fuck me,” Boyoung says bluntly. Throwing caution to the wind, she continues, “I could feel your…cock rubbing against me, and I want to know more about how she would actually react. I need you for this,” Boyoung admits, dropping her robe and removing the modesty garments, bearing her body to you. She steps closer to you, her small hands taking off your modesty garments before reaching for your cock. Her hand can barely wrap around it. Boyoung gulps, mesmerized by your cock; her hand slowly moves from the base to the tip. She brings her other hand to your cock, rubbing the tip against her palm as she squats down. Boyoung was getting excited just holding your cock. “May I?”

You give the small woman a nod; being next to her in the last scene turned you on, and you wanted to fuck her. “Yeah, let’s get more into our roles.” Boyoung squats down, coming face to face with your cock. She gives it a few licks, her small tongue running along the underside before she begins to jerk you off. Boyoung used both hands, amazed at your size. She was getting wetter just thinking about you using it on her. Her mouth barely fit the head of your cock; her lips hollowed as she sucked on it, her tongue licking it like it was a lollipop. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to get it down her throat, Boyoung spit on your cock and spread it around your shaft with her hands, pleasing you as she mentally prepared herself. “I think you’re ready,” She says quietly, 

You picked the small woman up easily, holding onto and squeezing her thighs. You align yourself with her entrance and lower her onto your cock. Boyoung squirms in your arms as her walls wrap around your cock. She groans and whimpers as your cock stretches her small cunt, separating her walls and splitting her in two. You move her along your shaft, slowly taking in more of it until you’re buried inside her. Boyoung bites her lip; she can feel your cock stretching her; her fantasies are being fulfilled as you use her like a toy, moving her along your cock. She clings to you, moaning into your ear about how good it feels to have you inside her. 

“You’re so tight,” you grunt in response, reveling in how her walls flex around your cock as you drive it into her. If Boyoung hadn’t been clinging to you before, she would have needed to know that you moved faster. You were getting into a good rhythm, making her bounce on your cock. The older woman moaned your name and begged you for a kiss. You gave in to her demands; your tongue traced her lips until she allowed you inside. You explored each other's mouths. Boyoung moans in the kiss, arching her back as you thrust deeper into her. You make her shiver as you run your hand down her spine; she moans louder, every touch making her entire body tingle. 

“Oh, fuck, you’re so big. I’m going to cum,” She whines, her walls tightening around you. “I want you to cum inside me. I don’t care what happens. Just fill me up.” Boyoung presses her body against your chest, her moans growing louder as she bounces on your cock. 

Nearing your climax, you hold onto Boyoung’s waist tightly, forcing her up and down your shaft as you thrust into her, crushing her womb. “Oh shit! Yes! Fuck me!” Boyoung cries as you use her more like a toy. Her tongue begins to hang out of her mouth. The woman before you was a far sight from the coworker you know, but it only turns you on more. You continue to fuck Boyoung senseless, pistoning in and out of her until you bury yourself inside her suddenly. You cum rushes inside the small woman, painting her walls white before filling her cunt. You rest Boyoung on your cock, letting her recover from her orgasm. You move over to the couch, setting her down on it before pulling out. “Thank you,” Boyoung mumbles, placing her hand against her cunt and collecting your cum; she sucks on her fingers, a look of lust on her face as she tastes the salty liquid.

A knock on your door alerts the two of you. “We’re going to start filming again! Let’s get going!” One of the staff yells from outside. Boyoung looks at you, worried about her disheveled appearance, but quickly gets dressed and puts on her modesty garments and a bathrobe before walking out. You take an extra minute to clean yourself up before walking out, ready to film more scenes with Boyoung. Any scene that involved the two of you making love would be followed by the actual thing in your dressing room.

[samcvrpenters]

word count: 1.8k+

pairing: secret service! caitlyn kiramman x criminal! assassin! fem reader

summary: after betraying her, caitlyn vowed to hunt you down and make you pay for your crimes. but her vengeance slowly turns into more and she finds herself wanting your affection and attention

warnings: weapons, violence, a not very well written fight scene, mentions of death

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

is she meant to be grateful for your incompetence? for your ungraceful, egotistical betrayal to the national security agency? if you even think you’re correct on any of those assumptions then you’re dreadfully wrong, because she has vowed to hunt you down and lock you up in a blacksite never to see the light of day again.

she never expected it.

how could she? you were ever so kind and polite to her since the first day you met her in the office.

it may have been a little suspicious; your wide eyes and happy smile supported that, yet her judgement became clouded because, well, it was the first time she saw someone so happy to jump into such a job, and she wanted to trust you.

she instantly had put in an application to become your handler, and it took many discussions with her superiors and her own handler to allow her into the position, but when she was given it, she took it with enthusiasm.

she wanted to lead you.

she believed you could do marvellous things for the agency and she wanted to make you feel like you could reach your potential if she was the one who was looking after you— if she was the one who was ready to take care of you.

your aim was a little shocking, to say the least. in a good way, though. maybe that should have pointed to the fact you had done this before.

but caitlyn was blinded by her own adoration for you and she had made every single effort to make you better than you ever were before, so she adjusted the small things that you were unable to do and she did make you better.

looking back on it, she should have known.

she sits in her office now and she dwells upon the fact that you had betrayed her and her trust.

she’s wearing gloves, and her fingers are tapping against the mahogany table, which is covered in knife marks. she should be glad she’s took it out on the furniture. not on anyone else, because she doesn’t want to get into as much trouble as you have.

where even are you?

she doesn’t know.

she wants to know, but she’s unable to find out because you keep your tracks so well hidden that she can’t locate you in the slightest. she’s proud, in some way. she taught you that. but at the same time, treason is treason. and it’ll be treated severely, like any other criminal would be treated.

the phone rings. a loud, sharp sound that causes caitlyn to flinch because the unfortunate loss of you has caused her a lot of grief.

she reaches for it, her hand wrapping around the material, a clicking noise signifying she’s answered it, and the other person on the phone speaks instantly, like it’s such an important matter that everything else can wait for this.

her eyes widen when the voice says that they’ve found you.

at first, she’s ecstatic. she wants to embrace you and hug you and tell you that everything will be okay. because you had to be manipulated into this. this isn’t your fault. but that’s not how it works, and she’s forced to change her mind as her hand reaches for the gun on her desk.

and then she’s walking out, and the door slams behind her when she doesn’t even have the courtesy to shut it quietly.

in an instant, all thoughts of what to do with you when she gets you is flooding through her head, drowning any feelings she has. she needs to arrest you. if that doesn’t work, shoot you. and if that doesn’t work, shoot you again. and again. and again. and there’ll be blood everywhere and your blood will forever coat her hands and her gun and her mind and she’ll never be able to unsee it.

she’ll hallucinate.

she’ll always see you— bullet holes over your body and your body drenched in red. she knows that’s how it’s going to work.

she finds you.

she will always find you.

“you need to stop!” her usual honeyed voice is twisted with malice, some sort of callousness that stops her typical self from entering the conversation.

because she’s here to arrest you.

not love you. again.

perhaps that’s what hurts so much: the fact she shared so much of herself with you and she allowed you to touch her and hug her and embrace her and comforted her. now all of that is gone and she knows she needs to make you pay.

“you’re not even aiming your gun at me, agent kiramman.” your voice rings sharp in return and your eyes are fixed through the scope of your suppressed sniper rifle. “how about you try to intimidate me and then i’ll stop?”

how do you know without even looking?

it doesn’t matter, because she’s scrambling to pull her handgun from her holster, her finger resting against the trigger guard as she takes a step forward.

she isn’t putting her finger on the trigger. yet.

but the muzzle of her gun is pushing through your hair and to the back of your head.

“come with me. and i will make it a lot safer for you. it’ll be a lot easier for the both of us if you comply.” why is she being so stern? this isn’t how she usually acts with you.

oh well.

does it truly matter? no. not really. because you know she won’t pull the trigger because she doesn’t want to see blood pouring from your head whilst she cries against your corpse.

“you won’t pull the trigger.” you drawl, hands tightening against your sniper rifle, which is mounted on a stand for the time being. “i know what you’re like. and i have too much faith in the fact that you love me that i don’t believe you’d be able to shoot me.”

it’s true.

she still loves you. even with what you did.

“stand up.” her voice is a hiss and she shoves the gun against your head again, jaggedly, as if she doesn’t actually care about your health. but if that was the case, she would’ve shot you already. “stand up and we might take it easy on you.”

you can get out of this situation in a heartbeat. she knows that. are you just entertaining her? do you want to play with her heart? her feelings? do you want her to experience these contrasting emotions of hate and love?

“you’ve gotten predictable, agent kiramman.” what’s with the formalities? are you trying to seduce her, or something? manipulate her? distance yourself from her? she’s not sure. “because i know you won’t do anything. how about you lower your weapon and i’ll lower mine, and we can talk, hm?” you sound like you’re mocking her.

her hand is gripping the gun tighter, and she’s shoving it against the back of your neck instead, and with that, you whip around.

grabbing onto her hand, you roughly push her arm up, above your head, so if she did decide to pull the trigger (whether it be out of surprise or pure anger), you wouldn’t get shot.

and you’re pushing her against the roof of the building, twisting her arm back behind her body, before managing to get her onto the surface and looking up at you.

it’s like she didn’t even try to fight back.

but you’re gripping onto her shoulders, keeping her against the surface of the roof, nails digging through her clothes and into her skin.

“are you just going to lay there?” you hiss out. if she was being rough, you might as well do the same. “say something. do something. get up, caitlyn! aren’t you mad?”

but she’s staring up at you.

it’s as if she can’t look away from you because she’s so enamoured by you.

and then she snaps out of it, and her knee lifts into your abdomen with no caution whatsoever, and you find yourself groaning and letting go of her shoulders. she’s pulling herself up and round to grab your own arms, rolling you over onto your back and she’s pulling you up so you’re sat up, before shoving you back down again.

your legs are wrapped around her waist and it’s almost as if you’re trying to pull her back around so you can roll her over again.

“stop trying.” she breathes out, and she’s moving her hand to grip the back of your hair.

a rather compromising position, which would be seen as something different if the two of you weren’t trying to fight each other.

“fuck you.” you groan out, and since your other arm is free, you manage to smack a punch right across her face, a satisfying crunch erupting from her nose to prove you’ve broken it.

she groans in response, and lifts both hands to cover it, the fabric of the gloves absorbing the blood as she covers it.

and you’re running back to the sniper in the time that you have and opening up the case next to it and pulling out your own handgun. the one you were given to by the nsa.

it was surprising that you had kept it.

“emotional entanglements are unacceptable in a professional, dangerous environment yet are inevitable. is that what you said, caitlyn?” your head tilts to the side and your finger rests against the trigger, ready to pull it if needs be. “if that’s true, then why have you become so attached to someone that you’re meant to arrest? to kill?”

a step forward and you’re closer to her.

she’s not moved, her hands still holding her nose before she pulls them away once the bleeding had subsided.

“it’s unfortunate, really. i enjoyed being in your bed yet your affiliation with the person i was meant to kill in the agency made it stop.”

a sigh escapes your lips at her silence.

“i’m giving you the opportunity to run away, caitlyn. be blind. not brave.”

she needed to act like she had never seen you. and that would make everything so much easier because then you wouldn’t have to worry about her reporting you and she wouldn’t have to say a word.

you were making this easier on her, but she wasn’t making this easier for you.

she doesn’t know why she takes the opportunity. she just does. maybe she doesn’t want to hurt you, and she doesn’t want you to hurt her, but she leaves the rooftop and she’s sprinting down the stairs and back to her car.

“false alarm.” that’s the only thing she mutters to her partner as she steps into the car.

she’ll find you one day. officially. it’ll be printed on documents that she was the one who find you. but to say she’ll take you in? no. she’s sure it will read that she decided to join you.

no matter what the cost is.

[manicmanuscription]

Solstice and Sorrow

Azriel x Reader

Word Count: 17427

Warnings: Extreme angst, toxic friends, dark thoughts, fluff, happy endings.

Summary: What will happen when Selena’s (OC) toxic friends poison her mind and make her doubt her worthiness of Azriel when she’s already struggling with intense flashbacks and PTSD during this Solstice season

─── ♡ ───

Selena usually loved the holidays. That feeling of contentment that thrummed in her chest when the air started getting colder, when the spiders, ghosts and pumpkins slowly started turning to wreaths and twinkling lights and she absolutely adored winter solstice. Selena loved sitting around a fire and chatting with her friends a whiskey or hot fudge in hand, she loved giving meaningful gifts to her family. Everything about the holiday was so special.

Yet this year was different. 

Azriel had been working on the continent for four months so far, which was…fine. It was fine. It wasn’t the first time he had been gone for so long. Selena had always done her best to manage. Throwing herself into her work  until her hands bled that she didn’t have time to think about the ache in her chest. It was harder this time though, not having him  here to cozy up with by the fire as snow fell, or to make gingerbread with their nephew. 

She had shoved that bittersweet feeling far down though, occasional loving tugs on the bond and the cold weather increasing the numbr of patients she dealt with all got her through the day. 

It wasn’t until she recieved written word that he would not be able return in time for Solstice that Selena had gotten really upset, her heart sinking. She had shut off the bond as soon as she had read Azriel’s letter so he wouldn’t feel her sadness and had ignored the twinge of guilt that passed over before she did. 

It was her favorite holiday and she wouldn’t be spending it with her mate, the love of her life. Selena had burst into tears right then and there. She was so exhausted these last few months, running suspiciously close to burnout and all she wanted was him. 

So of course after a few days of wallowing she went to her childhood friends, they had been begging to see her and drinking in their favorite bar to ignore her feelings sounded like the perfect way to spend her evening and for awhile, it was. The music was just right and the drinks poured faster than Selena could blink. But when she had explained to her friends why she felt so off, they had responed so weirdly. 

“Spending every second attached to his hip isn’t enough?”

“Girl..this is good for you! You need some time for yourself.”

“No..we don’t mean it like that just… I mean come on we haven’t seen you in months, and now your complaining about the person your -and no offense honey you know we love you- literally always with.”

“You know what we mean, like you’re always all over him- give the male some room to breathe!”

Selena had left after that, and with the alcohol numbing her she couldn’t feel the harsh cold nipping at her bare shoulders. Her friend’s words echoing in her head until they were the only thing she could focus on. She knew she was clingy, physical touch had always been her love language. It was a reminder that they were safe, that they were here with her, not only that but she loved touching Azriel. Loved holding his hand under the table and crawling into his lap on the couch. Tears welled up in her eyes as she distantly remembered comments from Azriel’s brother’s when he introduced her a few decades ago. They had been surprised at his…willingness to her.

“Who are you and what have you done with Azriel.”

“If you’re here I guess Lena isn’t far behind.”

“And he…let’s you do that?”

Her mind was a whirlwind of memories and voices all overlapping in her head, it made her drunken head spin even faster when suddenly the thought came up so fast from the darkest part’s of her it had her pausing in the middle of the snow covered street. 

What if she was somehow forcing herself on him?

What if he had been pretending he was fine with all her advances but in reality he hated them? What if for over a hundred years she had been making her mate deeply uncomfortable? 

She let out a strangled sob at the thought. Trying to force herself to be quiet lest she wake anyone up with her misery at this ungodly hour. She had always tried to be respectful, but she had gotten too comfortable and now-

Now she was making Azriel resent her. 

Selena couldn’t stop the full on cry that fell from her lips, stumbling forward as tears blurred her vision on her walk home, she didn’t know when she tripped on the loose stone’s and cut her knee open, she didn’t know when the shadows had enough of her pity party and winnowed her home. Selena barely even remembered those same shadows tucking her in bed before slinking off to tell their master. 

———

The next morning she was woken up by the blinding intrusion of the sun. Selena groaned, her head was pounding and she turned away from the window, hoping to escape the light but hissed at the pain raidiating through her body at the movement. It took her a few moment’s to remember what happened last night and when she did, she curled up even further in the blankets as she cried once again. Everything felt heavy, like the weight of the entire world was crushing in on her slowly and she couldn’t escape it. Couldn’t escape the truth that she was a horrible mate. The shame was crushing her heart, distant traumatic memories a faint buzzing in the back of her head and Selena decided to stay in bed just a little while longer, at least until she had to get ready for tonight’s Solstice celebration.

Time moved slowly and yet too fast. She had just watched the clock on the wall tick the minutes by, falling in and out of sleep to avoid the heaviness of her thoughts, everything felt numb and yet when the sun started going down Selena felt like she needed more time to rest, to pull herself together.

With a pained sigh she forced herself out of bed, ignoring how the few shadows Azriel left behind in case of emergencies swirled around her feet to make sure she was steady. Her shoulder was throbbing and her knee hurt like a bitch and once she was looking at herself in the mirror she knew why. The fall she had taken was still fuzzy in her mind and she was almost postive that the shadows had lessened the damage. But a bruised shoulder and a scabbed knee was nothing in comparison to some of the other injuries she had faced in this lifetime. The massive hangover wasn’t going to help her healing process so Selena applied some of the ointment’s she kept in the cabinent and took a vial of foul tasting medicine for her headache and set to getting ready for dinner. 

———

Azriel knew how important Winter Solstice was to his beautiful mate. Her family celebrated loudly every year before their untimely and gruesome deaths. Whether or not his lovely wife wanted to admit it he could tell that she needed him around even more during this time, to celebrate just as loud as she had before, to cherish and hold her even tighter as a reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere. But this damned assignment was ruining everything. He had been stuck an a different continent for months with little to no communication with Selena given the severity of this situation- trying to hunt down rumours about harming the little prince of night. He wished he could shadow-step immediately into his sweetheart’s arms but with how spread thin his magic and how much it would take to do so would nearly if not assuredly kill him. So a flying and winnow combo was the only way he could make it to her and he had left days ago determined to return for her favorite holiday. 

Yet he had severly underestimated how much energy he had left for shadow-walking, it was taking more time than usual especially trying to avoid detection from other courts lest he cause a political nightmare. So Azriel regrettedly sent a letter, the words appearing on the magic paper faster than he currently was, he could feel her mates disappointment before she hide it away and the thought almost had him not wanting to return at all to avoid facing that sadness head on. But everything ached for her, every second away felt like his body was slowly shutting down. The bond in his chest anxiously awaiting to return to his other half. He was flying above the clouds nearing Pyrthian’s border when suddenly her quietness on the bend snapped in half and all of her emotions hit him like a brick he nearly fell out of the sky and into the ocean below when he luckily caught himself on a strong current. 

He could feel her shame, her drunkeness, he could feel that little ball of anxiety in her chest getting bigger and bigger with each passing second he felt like he was close to hyperventilating right along with her. Azriel had to take deep calming breaths doing everything he could to reach her and calm her down and it only made it worse his mind felt like it was burning and his heart was pumping too fast. He was starting to panic at the weight of her emotions, slowly starting to drift down. He couldn’t fucking think-

Hundreds of years of displine and training had him regaining control of the sitaution on his hand. He had to shut off the bond so he couldn’t feel her, avoiding another untimely fall as he did. Guilt ate away at him for doing so but something else spurred him to beat his wings faster. His mate was hurting and he needed to fix it now. The bond in his chest raged at the thought and the sudden adreneline boost made his siphons flare slightly with a new determination to get there as soon as possible.

——— 

Dinner went by in a rush and her entire family was sitting in around the fireplace passing around presents, soft music played from somewhere in the house but with like the rest of the noise it all buzzed faintly in the back of her head. She had slipped into this headspace so fast and now she was drowning it and she didn’t know what to do. 

A soft hand nudged her shoulder and she pulled her attention away from the window. Her High Lady was standing in front of her with a soft smile holding out a small box in her hands, wrapped up in gold with a red ribbon curling gracefully down the sides. The Inner Circle gave her a few worried glances before returning to their own conversations and Selena flushed with embarrassment at the realization Feyre had been trying to get her attention for awhile. 

“Sorry.” She breathed out, wanting to fold in an herself and disappear even further. The fae smiled gently. “Not a problem, it is quite beauitful out there.” Selena hummed in agreement silently thanking Feyre for saving her from any further embarrassment. “This is from Rhys and I.” 

She took the gift with a smile and thanked her High Lord and Lady who gave her answering grins in return, after delicately opening the expanse wrapping paper and revealed the book inside she couldn’t but feel a tang of sadness in her heart. She recognized the handwritting stamped on the leather cover. Selena quickly looked up at her friends to confirm and Feyre nodded. It was one of her mother’s medical journals, after her family’s violent death they had all been given out to muesuem’s or research groups that had needed the groundbreaking information inside. 

A tear slipped down her cheek as she thumbed the pages. Everything about it was so uniquely her. The messy handwriting, worn cover, the strong scent of her jasmine perfume still clinging to a few of the pages. “I found it in a musuem visiting Day and practically fought the curator for it. Thankfully Helion owed me a favor.” 

“Thank you…I-I have no words.” Selena breathed out and Feyre gave her another smile. “There are none needed.” 

Present’s were close to being done when the clock struck midnight. Rhys outdoing himself each year with spoiling his mate for her brithday, she was making a joke about need to add a whole wing to the house just so she had a place to put her increasingly extravagant gifts and Rhysand’s eye glinted with mischief at the thought. Soon the night wrapped up and Selena walked home, needing to feel the cold wind on her face as she processed her thoughts. 

Any other day she would’ve loved Feyre’s gift, but all it had done was twisted the swirling vortex of shame and grief in her heart. Her mind seemed to grow more weary with the weight pressing down on her. She missed her family, she missed the way her mom sung holiday song’s all year and how her brother’s always played with the colorful lights. 

She missed Azriel, and the thought hit her that she would always be missing him, it wasn’t long until he would eventually grow tired of her. She had ruined everything, needing a better escape from her thoughts Selena winnowed home. Grabbing the whiskey on the top shelf Cassian bought a few years ago as an anniversary gift and popped the bottle open, the hands moved on the clock extremely slow and also too fast, drink after drink was poured as her mood soured even more. She didn’t even notice when the door opened and that familiar scent of rain and cedar invaded her senses. Didn’t even notice the thrum of the bond humming in delight until her mate was kneeling in front of her with a soft smile on his face.

“Hi Baby.” 

Selena almost broke down in tears right then and there, every fiber in her body screaming at her to jump into his arms, tackle him to the floor and pepper his face with kisses. But her friends word’s rang in her ear like a dark bell echoing in her head tugging on that rotten piece inside her chest. She smiled at him, the sight and scent of him still soothing some of the jagged pieces of her heart. “Hi.” She breathed out softly. 

Azriel’s brow’s furrowed at her lack of reaction but he wasn’t surprised he could already make an educated guess of where his lovely mate’s head was at based on the echoed feelings in the bond and the shadows whispering information in his ear. He gently pried the whiskey from her grasp and kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her mouth. She sighed into the kiss and Azriel’s heart hummed in contentment as the bond slowly settled at finally being able to touch her after all this time. He lifted her off the couch and carried her to their shared bedroom. Placing her down gently on the bed and settled next to her. Usually Selena would automatically curl into his side laying her head against his muscled chest and entertwine their hands pressing a kiss to each of his scarred fingers. But instead she curled away from and Azriel seethed silently. 

He was usually an extrememly patient male, he had to be in his line of work but she didn’t jump into his arms when he came home, not even kissing him or saying she missed him and now she was pretending he didn’t exist in their marital bed. His patience snapped. He let out a dark growl, sitting himself against the headboard and pulled Selena onto his hips so fast she let out a gasp of surprise. 

The sound elicited something within him and his stomach churned with need. But first he needed to check on his gorgeous wife before even acknowledging the desire that had slowly been building up with their time apart. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong sweetheart or do I need to pry it out of you?” He whispered placing soft kisses on the side of her neck. Selena’s eyelids fluttered shut at the sensation, everything felt intensified after their distance. His hand’s massaging her inner thights, his lips slowly moving down to her shoulder, the shadows running along her spine. It was overwhelming and she wanted to lose herself in the feeling, in him. But the voices returned tenfold and snapped their jaws viciously clamping down on her heart and she jerked away from him and off the bed. Hurt briefly flashed across his expression but instead he let out a soft breath. 

“W-Why are you doing that.” Selena asked gasping for air. This was too all too much. You’re going to lose him, you’re going to lose him, you’re going to lose him, you’re going to-

“Selena..Baby…” Azriel said in the deceptively soft tone it skittered across her bones and her heat skipped a beat when he said her name. “You’re my mate can I not kiss you?” 

Azriel slid off the bed, walking over to her silently he was good at reading people, especially her. He had spent years figuring her out understanding how her mind worked and how her heart sang exactly for moment like these and he knew that she just needed to talk aloud or else those little voices trying to take his mate away wouldn’t go away. She just needed a little push and Azriel knew her body, knew which button’s to push to elicit certain reactions. “The faster you tell me what’s wrong the faster I can fix it sweetheart.”

“I don’t need you to fix it!” She snapped, her voice breaking. “I-I just-“ A shuddering cry escaping her throat as Azriel gently pushed the pieces of her hair back. His heart shattered at the sound, the bond hissing at her dispair and he wrapped his arms around her pulling her close as she cried her body shaking with the force of her sobs. “I don’t…want to lose you.” Selena said gasping for air in between her words. 

“You’re never going to lose me.”

She cried harder at that. “I lose everyone, it’s not long before-“

He pulled away grasping her face in his hands softly but firm, locking eyes with her so she could understand the gravity of his words. “Selena you’re not going to lose me whatever things you’re thinking it’s not true.” She let out a painful whimper, cries had subsided to small hiccups as she tried to regain control to speak. “I feel.. like-like you secretly hate me that I am too clingy and annoying and right now…I feel like you’re lying to me.” Her voice broke at the end and a pained sob escaped her lips as she finally admitted to what had beeing weighing on her heart and mind. 

Azriel felt like his heart had fucking shattered and turned to dust on the floor. 

He felt tears prick at his eyes as he realized how severe she had fallen into her trauma, she had turned away from him not able to face him as more sobs wracked her body. “Selena.” Azriel whispered his voice cracking. “Selena look at me. Please.” 

Selena’s heart broke ever further at the pain in Azriel’s voice and she slowly turned, he touched his forehead against hers and than pressing a soft kiss there as well. His hands rested on the side of her neck and the other one on his hip. “Selena I love you. I worship the ground you walk on. I would go fucking insane without you, not having you jump into my arms as soon I got home made me feel like the world was ending. I love it when you touch me, I love it when you whisper how much you love me right before I fall asleep, I love it when you come and find me while I’m working just to curl in my lap. I am so addicted to you it makes it hard to breath and If I didn’t have you I’d go mad. You’re the brightest light in this world, watching you shine is the greatest honor of my life. When you laugh my heart sings, and when you cry it breaks. I love you so much Selena. I am utterly consumed by you.” 

Azriel grabbed her hands and settled them over his heart. “Do you feel that? My heart only beats for you and nothing and no one else. Ensuring your happiness and health is something I take very seiously and great pride in.” He was pushing all his love and adoration through the bond it was overwhelming and Selena had no choice but to feel the truth in his words, it spread her entire body with this mind numbing warmth and she let out a watery laugh. More tears falling as she did so. Azriel brushed them away ever so softly with the pad of his thumbs. 

“I’m sor-“ He cut her off with a kiss. “Don’t.” He whispered quietly. “You have saved me from myself too many times to count dearest, it’s a privilege to even try do the same for you.”

“I love you.” Selena choked out, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him impossibly closer.

“I am your’s Selena, and you are mine.” Azriel said with finality. Selena whispered it back to him, trailing soft kisses up his neck and peppering his face with their soft lips. Azriel grinned, the dutiful shadow that had been with her that night had already told on her toxic friends, whom he’d never liked and believe it or not this isn’t the first time he comforted Selena after their misplaced words. They would be dealt with, Azriel growing tired of their bullshit affecting his love. 

But right now all he wanted was to hold her. He picked her up and she squealed happily, wrapping her legs around him as Azriel walked them back to the bed. He was leaning above her his hands still gripping her hips tightly as he pressed his lips to hers. “Do you believe me when I say that I love you?” Azriel asked, pushing his love through the bond once again and Selena nodded. Azriel smiled, “Good because you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” 

Selena laughed and a moment of silence passed between them as Azriel started pressing more kisses to the inside of her wrists, then her fingertips, than her forehead, her nose and finally her mouth. 

“Thank you.” Selena breathed out in the peaceful moment they had created. Azriel just hummed and pressed his lips to hers again absolutely determined to make her feel good, needing to chase away the darkness even further. His hand’s slipped under her skirt brushing against her inner thighs and Selena let herself reveal in his touch and in the all consuming warmth vibrating from his side of the bond with an intensity that thrummed under her skin. The doubt eddied from her mind and Selena sent every ounce of love right back to him as she finally pulled herself out of her dark thoughts. 

“Mine.” She whispered with a slight nibble on his lips and he growled lowly, returning the favor. “Mine.” He whispered back. 

A/N: Holy shit guys I've been writing this fic FOR WEEKSSSS! I kept deleting and restarting and getting stuck halfway through, this isn't really where I wanted to go with it but omg here we are. I'm not 100% happy with it but thank fuck its done. I might rewrite a different version later but idk. Let me know what you think!

[fishbonex]

Under The Influence (of Regret)

Vi x fem!reader

Summary: An already altered discussion has an even worse consequence.

Word Count:

Warning: HEAVY ANGST, mentions of alcoholism, canon-typical violence, arguments, screaming, BLOOD.

note: this story takes place after the end of arcane.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

War and grief have the power to change a person. Maybe for a while, or maybe forever, but change is a certainty.

You didn't escape it, neither did Vi.

You were a constant presence at Caitlyn's mansion, at her insistence. She knew that having a friend around would be good for Vi and for herself. And you didn't want to be alone either, after everything you'd witnessed.

With the periods you spent away from your apartment, it was necessary to always have a small suitcase with your things, despite Caitlyn's insistence that you occupy one of the closets in the room you were assigned.

The problem with taking your clothes was that Vi got into the habit of borrowing them, or just taking them out of your suitcase and then showing up wearing one of your shirts.

But you didn't care. Stealing your clothes seemed like a pastime to her, or pestering you to read to her in front of the fireplace. You didn't mind any of that, since you'd rather have her doing those things than drinking whole bottles of booze.

Vi's addiction to alcohol has always worried you, you closely followed the bad period she went through after the fight with Caitlyn.

She scoffed the first time you suggested she try cutting down on her drinking, got angry the second time, and only softened the third time when she saw how upset you were about it..

The first few months after the war were the hardest, as she grieved over Jinx's death. But you tried to make her comfortable, giving her space and staying close when she seemed more open. The following months were easier, even though the pain was still there, she knew you would be there for her.

With a soft knock on the door of the room she shared with Caitlyn, you waited only a few seconds before hearing permission to enter.

Vi smiled softly as you poked your head in the doorway before stepping all the way in. She was sprawled out in one of the fancy chairs near the fireplace.

"Hey, smarty pants." she held out a hand as you approached.

"Hey, what are you doing?" you rubbed your thumb gently over her bruised knuckles. They were already healing.

"Just... nothing. I couldn't find you and Cait is working in her office." she replied, leaning her head against the back of her chair. "What about you?"

"I'm sorry to tell you, but I need my brown jacket." You replied, seeing her look up at you. "I'm going home today."

"Why?" she asked, letting herself sound fragile, something she rarely did.

"I need to wash my clothes and, I don't know, live in my own house? For a while. Before they kick me out." you shrugged.

"There's a washing machine here, I bet you can use it. And Cait already said you can live-"

"Vi." you interrupted her with a warning tone. "I don't want to talk about this again, you can come see me, or I'll come here when I have time, I don't know. Where's my jacket?"

She let go of your hand and frowned cutely, making her look like a kitten.

"In my middle drawer." she nodded towards the large closet that took up almost an entire wall in the room. "On the left side of the closet."

"In the drawer?" you asked, frowning as you walked over to the closet, opening the doors and looking at the drawers she indicated. "You know where you're supposed to hang a jacket, right?"

"Nonsense," she replied, turning her face back to the fire. "I saved it, that's what matters."

"It must be full of mold, yuck." you joked as you opened the drawer, soon spotting the thick lining of your jacket, picking it up and bringing it close to your face.

You were about to close the drawer again when you saw a smooth surface, glass? Against your better judgment of leaving Vi's privacy alone, you opened the drawer wider and moved the few clothes that were covering the small bottle out of the way. Bottle. A small, light bottle of liquor. Someone had drunk more than half of it.

Your stomach sank and you stopped listening to Vi's voice rattling off a response to your earlier taunt. You lifted the bottle and turned to her.

"Vi, what the fuck is this?" you sounded harsher than you intended. "I thought you were done with that."

She turned her face to you, her expression darkening into anger, "Gimme that." she stood up and walked over to you.

"What's this nonsense?" you took the bottle out of her reach as she stepped forward and tried to take it from you.

"You don't have to get involved in this. Give me the bottle." she held out her hand and you stepped back even further.

"Please, you've come so far. Does Cait know? She'd hate to see you drinking again." you could feel your eyes burning with tears that wanted to come out.

"You don't know anything about me and Cait. Give me that." she advanced on you and you felt anger.

"No!" you shouted. "I thought you-"

"I told you to give me that!" she raised her fist in the air and you felt your head being thrown back hard, making you stumble.

You lost your balance and the things you were carrying fell. Your vision blurred slightly and you soon felt blood running down your now sore nose. Bringing your hand up to your face, you panicked slightly when you saw the thick liquid covering it.

You turned your wide eyes to Vi, who was staring at you, transfixed. Getting up from the ground, you quickly walked past her and stomped away.

The large bandage on your nose was uncomfortable and unsightly. Your nose throbbed and every now and then a wave of pain would hit you, making you curl up even more.

But the pain you felt when you remembered Vi's words was greater, she was right, after all. You knew nothing about her and you shouldn't meddle in her life.

The next day came in a blur and you only realized it when you heard a knock on your door. Groaning in discontent, you dragged yourself over and opened the door a crack.

Your expression quickly fell when you saw Vi standing there, your suitcase slung over her shoulder, your brown jacket in her unoccupied hand.

"What are you doing here?" you spat.

"You... you left your things at Cait's house, I just wanted to bring them to you." she said, her gaze roaming over your face, a hint of worry present.

You reached your hand through the door opening, "Okay, give it to me."

"It's heavy, I'll put it in there for you." she lowered her face and continued to look at you, so that her eyes seemed bigger. "Please."

You huffed and opened the door wider, stepping aside for her to come in. She walked past you with cautious steps as you left the door ajar. You crossed your arms, watching her place your suitcase on the coffee table, resting your jacket on top.

Vi turned to you, her gaze lingering on your face. She looked shy, which was not like her.

"I didn't mean to hit-"

"You said you came to bring my things and you already did, you can go." you interrupted, your nose starting to hurt again.

"I would never hurt you on purpose." she took a step towards you, making you step back. "I didn't mean to do it."

"But you did. And you were right, anyway. I don't know anything about you and I'm not going to interfere in your life anymore." you replied, your voice serious. "Go away."

Vi's eyes shone, the shine of tears she didn't want to shed. She shook her head and walked past you.

[woso-story]

The Weight Of Love And Loss - Part Four

Alexia Putellas x Reader - Part One Two Three

The morning of the meeting, your nerves felt like they were eating you alive. Every step toward the café felt heavier than the last, as though the gravity of your decision was pulling you back. For days, you’d debated whether to come at all. You’d imagined every possible outcome: Alexia apologizing, Alexia blaming you, Alexia trying to win you back. But no matter how much you rehearsed your responses, nothing prepared you for the reality of seeing her again.

The café was quiet as you approached. It was early, not many people around. Through the glass, you could see Alexia already sitting at your old table, her back slightly hunched, her hands wrapped tightly around a mug.

For a moment, you stopped in your tracks. Memories of the two of you flooded your mind—happy days spent in this exact spot, laughing, dreaming, planning your future together. The air had always been warm with love back then. But now? Now it felt like that love was gone, leaving only bitterness and heartbreak behind.

You inhaled deeply and pushed open the door.

---

The bell above the door jingled softly, drawing Alexia’s attention. She looked up, her eyes meeting yours instantly, and she stood, as if she wasn’t sure whether to stay seated or greet you. She hesitated before giving a weak smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hi,” she said quietly. Her voice was small, unsure, and it tugged at your heart in a way you weren’t ready for.

“Hi,” you replied curtly. No warmth, no familiarity. Just the distance you’d carefully built since the day you walked out of her apartment.

“Can I get you something? Coffee? Tea?” she offered, almost nervously.

You shook your head. “No. Let’s just get this over with.”

The words were sharp, but you needed them to be. You needed to protect yourself, to keep the walls you’d built from crumbling the moment she looked at you with those pleading eyes.

Alexia flinched slightly but nodded, sitting back down. You followed, keeping your distance, your arms crossed defensively as you waited for her to start.

---

The silence between you stretched on painfully. Alexia fidgeted with her mug, her eyes darting between you and the table. You resisted the urge to fill the void, to make it easier for her. This was her meeting, her chance to explain. You weren’t going to make it easier for her.

Finally, you sighed, irritation creeping into your voice. “If you’re not going to say anything, I’m leaving. I don’t have time to sit here in silence.”

“No���wait,” she blurted out, her voice breaking slightly. She looked up at you, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “But I need to try.”

---

Alexia took a deep breath, her hands clasped tightly together as if trying to hold herself together. “I’m sorry for everything. For the way I treated you. For shutting you out. For not listening. I thought I was doing the right thing, trying to focus on getting better, but...I didn’t realize how much I was hurting you in the process.”

You stayed silent, your expression unreadable.

“When I got injured, I felt like everything I’d worked for my whole life was slipping away,” she continued, her voice cracking. “Football isn’t just a job for me—it’s who I am. And losing that...I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was angry, scared, lost. And instead of letting you help me, I pushed you away. I thought I could handle it on my own. But I couldn’t.”

Her voice broke completely now, tears streaming down her face. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I swear, I didn’t. But I did, and I hate myself for it. I hate that I made you feel like you didn’t matter, because you do. You always did. You’re...you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I ruined it.”

---

Her words hit you harder than you expected. For months, you’d begged her to open up, to tell you how she felt. And now, here she was, pouring her heart out—but it was too late.

“You’re right,” you said quietly, your voice trembling. “You did ruin it.”

Alexia flinched as if you’d slapped her, but you didn’t stop.

“I tried, Alexia. I tried so hard to be there for you, to support you, to love you. But you didn’t let me. Every time I tried to talk to you, you shut me out. Every time I needed you, you weren’t there. And do you know how that felt? To feel like I was invisible? Like I didn’t matter?”

Tears were streaming down your face now, but you didn’t bother wiping them away. “You broke my heart, Alexia. Piece by piece, over months. And I can’t just forget that.”

---

Alexia sobbed quietly, her shoulders shaking as she tried to compose herself. “I know,” she whispered. “I know I messed up. But...please. Please give me another chance. I’ll do better. I’ll change. Just...don’t give up on us.”

You shook your head, your heart aching at the sight of her so broken. “It’s not that simple, Alexia. You hurt me. And I don’t think I can trust you not to do it again.”

Her face crumpled, and she covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a sob.

“I think we need time,” you continued, your voice shaking. “Time to heal. Separately.”

Alexia’s tears fell freely now, her shoulders shaking as she cried. “I can’t do this without you,” she whispered. “You’re my rock. You always have been.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Your rock? I felt more like your punching bag these last few months. I took every hit, Alexia. Every argument, every hurtful comment, every time you brushed me off. I took it all. And I broke because of it.”

She sobbed quietly, her hands trembling as she reached for yours. “I’ll fix it. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just...don’t leave me.”

You took her hands in yours, your heart aching at the sight of her so broken. “You need help, Alexia. Real help. Talk to a sports psychologist. Work through everything you’re feeling. Because I can’t be the one to fix this for you. I tried, and it nearly destroyed me.”

Her tears fell harder, but she nodded slowly, her grip on your hands tightening.

After a moment Alexia’s sobs quieted, and she wiped at her face with shaking hands. “So...that’s it?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“For now,” you said softly. “You need time to heal. And so do I. We can’t do that together.”

She nodded slowly, her tears falling silently now. “Is there still a chance for us? Someday?”

You hesitated, your heart breaking all over again. “I don’t know,” you admitted. “But if it’s meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other. For now, we have to let go.”

Her face crumpled, but she managed a small, shaky smile. “Okay,” she whispered.

You stood, your heart heavy as you looked at her one last time. “Take care of yourself, Alexia,” you said gently.

“You too,” she replied, her voice trembling.

And with that, you walked away, leaving behind the woman you once thought you’d spend forever with.

As you stepped out into the crisp morning air, a single thought ran through your mind: Maybe someday.

But for now, you needed to heal. Alone.

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

I may go into more detail about “Sinsmas” later, but I did want to talk about what I considered to be the one scene/sequence that I thought was very well done and that I truly enjoyed—Octavia’s song, “I Will Be Okay”.

(Song/Character Discussion below)

Octavia’s song is almost everything I could have asked for. A somber echo of Stolas’ song from season 1, Octavia’s I Will Be Okay, finally, finally, gives Octavia a voice and the chance to express her grief over her father’s abandonment.

For the first time in the series, there’s no one to tell Octavia that she should give her dad some slack or that she should forgive him. She’s finally allowed to be upset, to fully mourn her relationship with Stolas and to get mad about what happened. She’s finally allowed to start working towards accepting the ways Stolas’ neglected her, and begin healing from that pain and trauma.

Octavia’s experience is both terribly heart-wrenching and, in the most painful way, freeing. The lyrics reflect that perfectly, with Octavia acknowledging that while she’s not okay now because of everything Stolas put her through, she WILL be okay, and will grow into her own person without him.

The song is a direct response to Stolas’. Octavia is answering him, saying “Yes, I will be okay. Not because of anything that you were supposed to or failed to provide me as a father, but because I will forge my own path, and in doing so will heal from the pain you caused me.”

It’s a bittersweet song about finding the strength to cut contact with someone you loved who has repeatedly failed you in the worst ways, and who isn’t going to change.

I do have one “criticism” for this song and sequence, not because anything from it was poorly done, but because, in my opinion, the song’s visuals could have been even better.

The following scene was in the original storyboards for “I Will Be Okay”, and was changed in the final episode:

I think the decision to change the visuals for these lyrics in the song was a mistake. Please don’t get me wrong, the animation in this entire episode was fantastic, my critiques of Helluva Boss are almost never about the animation.

But the above sequence just has so much more emotional weight to me. It’s the visualization of Octavia realizing she can’t rely on Stolas, that she has to look to herself for comfort.

Octavia taking her younger self from her neglectful father’s arms, symbolizing that she’s accepted that Stolas cannot be depended on and that she’ll have to take care of herself now, is such a powerful image.

It really is a shame to me that they cut this scene, because I think it fully encapsulates everything Octavia has been through in such a simple and effective way. I think the scene really loses something by cutting this visual.

With all of that said though, Octavia’s song, and the scene where she FINALLY calls Stolas out for his behavior were very cathartic for me. I know that the scene’s intent was most likely to make us empathize with Stolas for losing his daughter, but I found myself empathizing only with Octavia, and hoping that she gets the time she needs to heal.

I would love it if the show actually let her decide whether or not she wants Stolas back in her life, but given the way HB’s writers portray women, I worry that it’s likely some big event will happen that “reveals” Stella to be awful, and Octavia will forgive Stolas just like that, and will probably end up apologizing to him instead (like in “Seeing Stars”)

Anyway, just like Octavia being the only good thing in Stolas’ life, “I Will Be Okay” was, in my opinion, the only good thing in “Sinsmas”. (well that and Octavia calling Stolas out)

[princesseilish]

No buts

Billie Eilish x Fem!reader

Warnings: excessive whining, billie is mean?? reader is a brat, obvi

Synopsis: you haven’t seen billie “allll week”, it’s finally her off day, which usually consists of silence but, your trailer is small, over pink, and you’re just a brat

Billie dragged herself through the front door, every muscle in her body screaming for rest. She barely had time to remove her shoes before she heard Y/N’s whiny voice calling out from the living room.

“Biiilliiieeee,” Y/N whined dramatically. “Where have you been? I’ve been waiting forever. You never take me anywhere.”

Billie paused, taking a deep breath to center herself before responding. She’d had a long day—one of those days where everything felt like it had piled up, and all she wanted was to sit in silence for a few hours. “I’ve been out, Y/N. I told you, I’m tired.”

Y/N didn’t care. She flounced over to Billie, face twisted into a pout, hands placed on her hips in a way that told Billie this wouldn’t be easy. “I don’t care,” she whined. “I’ve been sitting here all day, bored out of my mind. You promised me you’d do something with me today.”

Billie’s frustration flared, her eyes narrowing. “I’ve been working all day, Y/N. I’m not some damn personal assistant who’s at your beck and call.”

Y/N scoffed, clearly unimpressed. “Well, you should be. You’re my girlfriend. It’s your job to make me happy,” she shot back, her voice rising with bratty defiance.

Billie’s jaw clenched as she stepped closer, trying to keep her cool. “That’s not how this works, and you know it. I’ve been running on empty all day. The least you could do is—”

“You’re so selfish!” Y/N cut her off, stamping her foot in a huff. “I want to do something fun, and you’re just sitting there, acting like I’m bothering you.”

Billie’s patience snapped. “I’m not bothering you. You’re the one acting like a spoiled brat who can’t stand not getting everything she wants,” she shot back, her voice sharp. “I’m tired, and I can’t just turn it off because you’re throwing a tantrum.”

Y/N crossed her arms, still pouting. “I’m not throwing a tantrum. I’m just saying, I want you to care more,” she muttered, sticking out her lower lip. “You used to care. But now, you’re all busy and annoyed with me all the time.”

Billie took a deep breath, stepping back to put some distance between them. She was frustrated, but Y/N was pushing every button. “I do care, Y/N,” she snapped, her tone biting. “But you can’t just expect everything to be about you all the time. I need space, too. You’re being ridiculously demanding.”

Y/N’s eyes watered a little, and she dropped her arms to her sides, her voice now tinged with a whiny desperation. “You’re being so mean, Billie. I just wanted us to do something together. I don’t ask for much…”

Billie ran her hands through her hair, trying to calm down. She could hear the subtle edge of guilt in Y/N’s voice, but that didn’t excuse her behavior. “I get it. You want attention. But I can’t give it to you every second of every day. Sometimes, I just need a break.” Her voice softened, though the frustration still lingered. “And the whining… I can’t deal with it right now.”

Y/N let out a shaky breath, a tear slipping down her cheek. “You don’t want me anymore.”

Billie groaned, feeling the weight of her exhaustion mixed with guilt. She closed the distance between them and cupped Y/N’s face gently. “That’s not it, okay? I just can’t always be on your schedule. You need to learn that sometimes, it’s not all about you.”

Y/N sniffled, still clearly upset, but she nodded. “I just want to feel important to you,” she whispered, looking down.

Billie sighed, pulling her close and resting her forehead against hers. “You are important to me,” she murmured. “But you’ve gotta stop pushing me like this. I’m not some toy to entertain you whenever you feel like it.”

Y/N stayed quiet for a moment, and then whispered, “I’m sorry. I just… I hate when you’re mad at me.”

Billie sighed again, kissing the top of Y/N’s head. “I’m not mad, baby. Just frustrated. And you have to stop acting like everything is always about you.”

Y/N nodded, still clinging to her, and Billie couldn’t help but soften. “Next time, no more tantrums. Okay?” she asked, her tone more gentle.

“Okay,” Y/N mumbled, her voice small but sincere.

Billie hugged her tighter, knowing this wouldn’t be the last time Y/N pushed her buttons. But for now, she could at least relax and hopefully get some peace. Even if it meant tolerating a little bit of bratty attitude here and there.

[rachdalysworld]

Content note: This piece contains themes of emotional vulnerability, anxiety, and the creation of a safe space within a loving relationship. The narrative focuses on a tender and supportive bond between two characters, Leah and Y/N, as they navigate moments of overwhelm and the importance of feeling secure.

⬅️Last part | Next part➡️

“Part 3 — Safe heaven”

The first few times it happened, Leah had always been the one to find the space. A quiet corner at a restaurant, the privacy of the car, even the back hallway of a stadium once. Each time, Leah had dropped everything to make sure Y/N felt safe, supported, and loved.

But it had been on Leah’s mind lately: How could she make it easier for Y/N? How could she create a space where Y/N wouldn’t have to spiral into shame or anxiety? A space that felt like theirs, always available whenever Y/N needed it.

That thought brought her to the present moment.

The Idea

It was a calm Sunday afternoon. Y/N sat on the couch, her legs tucked beneath her as she scrolled through her phone. Leah had been hovering nearby, her mind buzzing with thoughts of how to bring up her idea.

Finally, Leah sat down beside Y/N, her knee brushing gently against hers. “Hey,” she started, her tone casual but her intent clear.

Y/N glanced up, her brows lifting. “Hey,” she said, setting her phone down. “What’s up?”

Leah hesitated, then took Y/N’s hand, threading their fingers together. “I’ve been thinking about something,” she admitted, her thumb rubbing slow circles over Y/N’s knuckles.

Y/N tilted her head, a soft smile tugging at her lips. “Okay. What is it?”

Leah took a breath, meeting Y/N’s eyes. “I was thinking… maybe we could set up a space here. At home. For when you’re feeling overwhelmed or… when you need me.”

Y/N’s cheeks flushed instantly, and she looked down at their joined hands. “Leah…”

“I’m serious,” Leah said gently, squeezing her hand. “I want you to have a place where you feel completely safe. No pressure, no shame—just us. Whenever you need it.”

Y/N bit her lip, her heart fluttering at Leah’s words. “You’d really do that? For me?”

Leah smiled softly. “I’d do anything for you,” she said simply.

They spent the rest of the afternoon working together to create their safe space. Leah suggested a corner of the bedroom, tucked away and quiet. They rearranged a few things, adding a soft chair, a warm throw blanket, and a small shelf for whatever made Y/N feel most at ease.

Y/N watched as Leah carefully folded the blanket, placing it over the arm of the chair. Her chest ached with love and gratitude.

“Leah,” she said softly, her voice trembling.

Leah turned, concern flashing across her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Y/N said quickly, shaking her head. “I just… I don’t know how to thank you for this. For everything.”

Leah stepped closer, her hands finding Y/N’s shoulders. “You don’t have to thank me,” she said firmly. “This is what love looks like. Supporting each other. Being there for each other. You deserve this, Y/N.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, and she threw her arms around Leah, holding her tightly.

That evening, Y/N found herself curled up in the new chair, Leah sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of her. They had spent the evening talking and laughing, but now a comfortable silence had settled between them.

Y/N was fiddling with the edge of the blanket, her thoughts drifting. The space Leah had created felt perfect—calm, safe, hers.

Leah reached out, resting a hand lightly on Y/N’s knee. “You look like you’re thinking about something,” she said, her voice low and warm.

Y/N hesitated, her cheeks flushing. “I was just… I was wondering if maybe…”

Leah tilted her head, waiting patiently.

Y/N took a shaky breath. “Could we try? You know. Here?”

Leah’s heart softened at the shy, vulnerable way Y/N spoke. She nodded, standing up and sitting beside Y/N in the chair. “Of course we can,” she said softly.

Leah raised from the floor to sit on the new rocking chair. Y/N layed on top of Leah, leaning into her side, her fingers clutching at her shirt. Leah wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.

“You’re safe,” Leah murmured, brushing a kiss against her hair. Slowly, she lifted her shirt and pulled her bra down slightly, just enough to reassure Y/N. “Whenever you’re ready, love.”

Y/N hesitated for a moment, but Leah’s steady presence gave her the courage she needed. She latched on, her breath shaky as the tension in her body began to melt away.

Leah held her close, her other hand gently rubbing Y/N’s back. “You’re doing so well,” she whispered. “I’m so proud of you.”

Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut, her breathing evening out as the overwhelming calmness of the moment settled over her.

Leah stayed still for as long as Y/N needed, her heart full as she watched the anxiety leave her love’s face. When Y/N finally pulled back, her cheeks were pink, but her smile was soft and genuine.

“Thank you,” Y/N murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Leah cupped her cheek, her thumb brushing gently over her skin. “You never have to thank me for this,” she said, kissing her forehead. “You’re my priority, Y/N. Always.”

As the evening turned into night, they curled up together in bed, Y/N still resting against Leah’s chest.

Leah kissed her temple, her voice a soft promise in the dark. “You’re safe here. Always.”

And this time, Y/N believed her completely.

A/N:hello! guys! i’ve deleted part 6 and i’ve found no way to get it back😭 anyways i hope you enjoy part 3! i like the idea of having a rocking chair in your own room for any purpose really, reading, relaxing, or anything! also i tried to find the most accurate shelf for the picture but just imagine it as you’d like it to be. Anyways i’m on christmas break so… i’ll be posting more often! I HOPE Y’ALL HAVE AN AWESOME CHRISTMAS! BIG LOVE, THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE❤️

[thursdayinspace]

So I rewatched "Our Town" last night and when I sat down at my laptop this morning to do something that was not writing, I ended up writing instead. These things happen. Just a silly fluffy-ish little thing because omg that ep is so gross and also Scully has to be getting sick of being abducted all the time. Mulder feels the same way.

She can’t sleep. It’s not every day you almost get beheaded—even after everything that she’s already been through this year, it seems there are still things that can shake her up pretty badly. She rolls over on the lumpy motel mattress and tries to get comfortable. For a glorious moment, she considers quitting. Handing Skinner her resignation and walking away, finding a nice job with regular hours where people won’t handcuff her to radiators, stick her in closets, contort their stretchy bodies through cracks in her bathroom window, or drive her around in the trunks of their cars before handing her over to aliens or the government or whatever theory Mulder’s going with right now. A job where she won’t spend the end of a work day strapped into a metal harness as a guy in a mask raises an ax above her head.

In her mind she pictures a simple life: a nice house with a yard, a dog greeting her as she opens the door and walks inside after a long day at the hospital…no, a private practice? A day of teaching? Whatever she’s been doing, she walks into a kitchen that smells like home-cooked dinner, leaning up to kiss her faceless husband who’s vaguely Mulder-shaped. “Honey, I’m home!” “Dinner’s almost ready! How was your day?” “Fine. Narrowly avoided decapitation. Nothing exciting.” Fuck. Not even fantasy-Scully can escape the absurdity of this life.

The knock on her door doesn’t even surprise her. She already knows who it is. He stopped waking her unless it’s something really important, so she groans and gets up, her bones aching, weeping inwardly as she makes her way to the door. So she can’t sleep; that doesn’t mean she wants to spend the night going over their case report or whatever that infuriatingly charming insomniac wants from her this time.

But when she opens the door, he doesn’t look as if he wants to go over case reports. He looks like shit. As much as that’s even possible for him. Another thing that’s simply unfair about her life, she thinks with a sigh. Even with bags under his eyes and pale as a sheet he still looks beautiful. “Mulder?” she says.

He doesn’t answer, just steps right into her and pulls her into a wordless hug, so tight she’s a little afraid he’ll crack her ribs. She hugs him back weakly and pats his back, not quite sure what else to do since she has no idea what the fuck he’s even doing. She expects him to pull back, but he just keeps holding on, and she’s genuinely having trouble breathing.

“Uh, Mulder?” she says again, a little louder.

“You’re okay,” he mumbles into her hair, and she wiggles in his arms, trying to loosen his grip.

“Not for much longer if you don’t let go.”

“Sorry.” He drops his arms and takes a step back, but keeps looking at her like he’s never seen her before. “Sorry, I just—”

“It’s fine,” she says. “Did you have a bad dream?”

He shakes his head. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah.” She grimaces. “Me neither. It’s been…a day.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, and she laughs. She’s too tired not to.

“Thanks to your timely rescue, my head is still firmly attached to my body.” It sounds a little bitter, and she’s surprised at herself before she feels another little piece of her frustration clicking into place. Ah, yes, she thinks. There’s that too. Rescued once again. She makes a mental note: fantasy-Scully in her little imaginary suburban nine-to-five utopia will never have to be rescued. She’s gonna be the one doing all the rescuing. Except nobody needs to be rescued in that perfect little world, because nothing bad ever happens to anyone.

“You don’t sound okay,” Mulder says, and she closes her eyes for a second. She’s not annoyed with him, she reminds herself. It’s not his fault that she became part of these townsfolks’ dinner plans, and it’s not his fault that she needed him to keep that from happening.

“I’m just a little tired.”

“I’ll let you sleep.” He sounds exhausted and when she looks at him, she sees leftover fear in his eyes. “No more interruptions, I promise.”

Her hand reaches out for his before she’s fully conscious of what she’s doing. It’s just that he’s here and she’s had enough of being Agent Scully for tonight, and he really looks so much like Doctor Scully’s faceless dinner-cooking husband in her nice little fantasy home. “Come on,” she says.

“What are you—”

“Bed,” she explains, hoping he won’t ask any more questions.

“Oh. Okay.”

She gets in on her side and is relieved when he lies down next to her without another word. She closes her eyes, but she can feel him stock-still as a statue next to her, she can feel the tension radiating off of him, and, hell, it sounds like he’s even trying to breathe without making a sound. So she grabs his arm and rolls onto her side, tugging him with her until he has his back against her chest, and she holds firmly onto his hand and snuggles back into him.

“Scully?” he asks, sounding a little confused.

“Relax, Mulder,” she tells him. “Sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“About sleeping?”

“You know what I mean.”

She laughs and squeezes his fingers. “No. Of course not. But honestly? I really don’t care right now.”

“Okay,” he says, and he gets it, she knew he’d get it. “Okay,” he repeats, and laces their fingers together. She feels him lift his head, feels his hot breath against the side of her face, and then a gentle kiss against the corner of her eye. “Good night, Scully.”

“Good night, Mulder.”

Behind her closed eyelids, fantasy Scully lies just like this with her faceless partner, who’s just as warm and smells just as good as real Scully’s friend-partner spooned up behind her. The only difference is that her own real Mulder is…well, real. No matter how perfect her beautiful little dream house with her beautiful perfect husband may be, she kind of prefers snuggling with someone who has a face and a name. And maybe she’d actually miss the mess.

Not all of it. Not the ax-swinging, homicidal maniacs or the lumpy motel mattresses. But a partner who knocks on her door in the middle of the night because he couldn’t sleep without making sure she was okay? Who sleeps wrapped around her with his breath ruffling the hair at the back of her neck, knowing this isn’t leading anywhere other than comfort and friendship? And…she kisses the backs of his fingers once she convinces herself he’s probably asleep…a vague hope that maybe this won’t always be all there is between them?

Yeah. She’ll take it.

[moralesluvr]

SOLO | b. eilish.

the first thing you notice when you wake up is the emptiness.

rays of sun cut through your bedroom like lasers, peaking through the slit blinds that match your half opened eyes. you blink for a second, your hand instinctively reaching out, brushing against the cold, untouched side of the bed. it feels cruel, the way it always does, like a reminder that you’ve been left to fill this space alone.

you sit up slowly, the sheets of your bed pooling around your waist, and stare at the pale morning light filtering through the blinds. the air feels heavy, thick with silence, and you wonder for the hundredth time how it all unraveled so quickly.

it wasn’t supposed to end like this.

the two of you had been like fire and gasoline, burning bright and destructive, crackling against each other. your highs were euphoric, a love so consuming it felt like the universe bent around it. but the lows… the lows were catastrophic.

“i can’t keep doing this with you.” she’d said that night, her voice breaking under the weight of her words. she had bags in hand, all of her belongings already packed up.

“so don’t,” you’d snapped, though your heart had already begun to fracture.

you and billie did this all the time. usually, you guys would bicker, yell at each other and pack your bags and leave. but you’d always find yourself sneaking back into the apartment late at night, glasses of wine and tangled limbs making the situation fade away.

but it was different now. her eyes had searched yours, desperate for something you couldn’t give her in that moment. peace, an apology— or even an answer to a question she couldn’t bring herself to ask.

you’d stood there, stubborn and aching, as she grabbed her bag and walked out the door. she said nothing. no goodbye, no last words, nothing.

you watched as years worth of memories and loving just walk out the door. so simply, so easily— it’s like she wasn’t even bothered by it.

but you told yourself she’d come back.

and she didn’t.

the mornings are the hardest. ever since she left, you can’t escape the memory of her voice calling out from the kitchen, gently placing warm cookies into your mouth or asking you to taste new recipes she cooked up.

and the afternoons aren’t much better. your phone sits untouched on the counter, a graveyard of texts left unanswered, calls that never came. your texts were green and unsent, all sixty-six of them, and your heart was breaking at the realization that she wasn’t coming back at all.

and at night, the walls feel closer, suffocating. you leave the tv on, hoping the noise will drown out the echo of your memory of her laugh, the way her smile lit up the room whenever you needed it to.

you try to distract yourself with work, with friends, with anything that keeps your mind from spiraling. you miss her. bad.

but the truth is, she’s in everything. you can’t escape her. she’s in every song you hear, every corner of your apartment, every stupid little thing that used to make her laugh.

you can’t catch a break at all.

one night, when the loneliness feels unbearable, you find yourself walking aimlessly through the cool air of LA. the streets are quiet, the sky above heavy with clouds that threaten rain.

you end up at the park you used to visit together, the one with the old, creaky swings and the lamppost that flickers just enough to be annoying.

you sit on the bench, staring at nothing. you can’t fixate on a single thing except her. her dark brown hair that contrasted with her piercing blue eyes, her laugh, her smile— it was sickening to you now. you felt your chest twist as you let out a sigh.

you thought hard about her. you had to let yourself feel. you thought about the way she’d pull you close when the wind picked up, the way she’d tilt her head back and laugh at something stupid you said.

the way she’d look at you, like you were the only thing in the world that mattered. the way she kissed you with tenderness as you fell asleep in her arms.

you ran a hand through your hair, a blanket of distress and yearning falling over you as you slump into the bench.

you don’t know how long you sit there, lost in the past, until the first drop of rain hits your skin.

it starts slow, a soft patter that builds into a steady downpour. you don’t move.

it feels fitting, somehow, the rain washing over you, soaking through your clothes, as if it could cleanse the ache in your chest. you tilt your head back, letting the water run down your face, closing your eyes.

you can’t tell what’s the rain and what’s your own tears.

you feel yourself fall apart. because somewhere in the city, she’s living her life without you.

you wonder if she thinks about you, if she misses the way your fingers used to trace patterns on her skin, the way you’d hum her favorite songs under your breath.

but you don’t let yourself linger on the thought for too long. because you know, deep down, that she deserves peace. and if it isn’t you, you couldn’t really be bad.

and maybe— you’ll find yours too.

someday.

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[nightplvmes]

*.⊹˚ RAFAYEL | paint (christmas special)

── ◜rafayel x fem!reader — mini one shot 1.3k words ◜Rafayel prepares a Christmas gift that she has been waiting for for a long time. — author's note here | christmas specials from the rest of the LIs on my profile

"Rafayel? We have to go. Come on." She ran through the halls until she reached the front door, waiting her boyfriend to reach her a couple of seconds later. "I almost forgot dessert," she whispered to herself as she started walking to the kitchen.

Until Rafayel got in her way. She frowned in confusion and tried to step aside but it didn't work. "Can you move? I forgot dessert," she said, thinking it was one of his usual pranks.

"We can't go out." He said quickly, not really wanting to make too much of a fuss. He knew how excited his girlfriend was to be able to attend this meeting, and she had been waiting weeks for Rafayel to meet her friends.

"What are you talking about?"

"The streets are closed because of the storm." He grimaced and felt guilty as he saw her face turned into disappointment.

"What? But this morning I saw the news, it said that…" She didn't finish the sentence. She had seen the weather that morning, everything pointed to snow but other than that it was nothing serious. When it turned into a storm? "I can't believe it!"

She groaned and dropped her bag on the floor. She felt completely disappointed, it was almost midnight and although they were already too late for the meeting, she hoped to arrive in time to eat dessert, introduce Rafayel to her friends and spend a couple of hours there before going home.

"We can stay here. It won't be so bad." Rafayel's arms wrapped around her, after all they had already been there all day. They had planned to spend the afternoon together, doing things that according to her were Christmassy and they would close their night at her friends. It was just a small change of plans.

"But I wanted you to meet my friends," she murmured in disappointment, her voice muffled as she had her face buried in Rafayel's chest.

"I can meet them later. We'll have a meeting just for that." He hated seeing her so sad. He knew this meeting was important to her, but he couldn't just stop the storm with the power of his mind.

Half an hour later she was sitting on the living room floor. She was still wearing the clothes she had chosen to to go out that day and Rafayel was in front of her watching her take spoonfuls of the dessert she had made for her friends.

"It's not that bad. We can still open the presents here." Rafayel pressed his lips against his girlfriend's forehead. He didn't know what else he could do to cheer her up.

"It's not that, it's just… You know I hate it when plans change." She made a face and looked at him.

Rafayel smiled when he saw the cream of the cake dripping from the corner of her lips. He reached out and with his index finger he took the cream before it slipped from her lips and stained her clothes.

Yes, he knew perfectly well how much she hated it when her plans changed. Rafayel always thought it was something more than just a change of plans and there was something else in his girlfriend's head.

He looked away, starting to think of something he could do to make her feel better. Letting her just sit on the rug and eat that dessert seemed to have made her feel better but she still had that pout on her lips.

Then he remembered… There was a gift he had kept in his studio and he didn't really think about giving it to her yet, not as a Christmas present at least. It was something she had asked him for a long time ago and Rafayel had simply refused after giving her a reasonable explanation.

"I have something for you." She frowned as her boyfriend got up from the floor and walked down the hall where the bedrooms and his studio were.

"What is it?" She asked taking a spoonful of the dessert again, thinking that it was simply one of the gifts he had bought her despite all the times she told him that she didn't really need anything. Finally she felt like she had had enough of that dessert. It was too much sugar and she was beginning to feel her body's rejection of it, so she decided to simply put it aside and clean any trace of sugar from her mouth.

Rafayel came back into the room a couple of minutes later. He had something in his hands and he seemed… nervous? Why did he seem nervous about a simple gift? It wasn't that she didn't appreciate it, but unless it was a pregnancy test she didn't understand his nerves. She had started joking about it since she found out that in seahorses it was the man who carried the baby.

"Here it is." He placed a gift wrapped in green paper on her lap. She looked at him waiting for some explanation, she felt like she needed some context because it was something important. "Do you remember when we started dating you asked me what you had to do to make a painting of you?"

She nodded, she remembered it perfectly because she had insisted too much until Rafayel told her that he couldn't because he didn't feel capable of capturing her beauty. Her cheeks turned red just by remembering it.

Then something clicked in her mind… she parted his lips in surprise and turned to look at Rafayel waiting for him to say something. He just looked at her with a small smile on his lips.

She tore the gift paper as fast as she could. She could feel her heart beating hard, until… She couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was a painting, of her.

It meant much more than he thought. She had wanted so much a painting of her completely made by Rafayel, but after having refused she had simply given up and stopped asking.

"You… But I thought…" She felt that the words were not coming out of her mouth. She turned to look at him waiting for something else, to explain the reason why he had decided that this was the perfect time to make a painting about her. Until she noticed something. "Where is this?"

She looked at him. She didn't recognize the background in the painting because it was focusing a bit more on her face but there was definitely some kind of cafe behind her.

"It was the first time I saw you. Do you remember?" She nodded. Of course she remembered because he had told her that story himself thousands of times.

"Of course I remember, it's just that… I can't believe it." She looked at him, feeling like she could cry at any moment. It was just a unique gift… too unique.

"I'm still think I didn't capture your beauty." She smiled. "I thought it would be a special gift. Much better than those boots you wanted."

She giggled. There were some nice black boots she had wanted a few weeks ago but had decided that it was a totally unnecessary expense.

"The boots would have been a nice gift too." Those words had come out of her mouth without thinking but in reality that gift was much better than any other. If Rafayel had simply bought the boots for her it would have been a great gift too. Anything that came from him was.

Rafayel laughed and put his arms around her to bring her closer to him. She still had her eyes on the painting he had made for her. It was her favorite painting now. "They're in the blue box," he murmured close to her ear.

She opened her eyes in surprise and looked at him. Had he bought the boots for her too? "Rafayel!"

He smiled at her excitement. He leaned in to press his lips against hers for a couple of seconds. "Merry Christmas, cutie."

[everythingne]

Little Miss Wingwoman - LN4

With baby Verstappen-Piquet on the way, Penelope's nanny needs a place to move into as she becomes an almost full time employee of the family. No better place than Lando's spare bedroom, only a few floors down from her job, right?

warnings/notes: none particularly? this might be like five parts or two parts, im not sure yet :D!

Penelope's plan to get her two favorite people to fall in love begins to fall into place.

See, Penelope was smart. Kelly made sure she was creative and book smart while Max made sure she had the confidence to speak her mind. Penelope got all she wanted, within reason, spoiled just enough, worked for what she had to. Danced, played, sang, baked... she was kid, but she was smart. She could do it all herself if she wasn't a huge momma and daddy's girl. (Bonus-daddy's girl? She hadn't worked out the wording on that one yet.)

But, on the busy days, you visited.

Taking a summer gig to nanny in your last years of school, you didn't expect to be placed within the Verstappen-Piquet household. Two days in, you never wanted to leave, and Penelope--so so young back then, had refused to let you go. Now, a few years later, you traveled around with the family when needed. Most of the time, staying back to look over the apartment and the cats while they went around.

You were more so an extra set of hands for Kelly, someone who could run and get groceries before dinner, run Penelope to and from practices or accompany her to weekends with her father (the Kyvat's adored you as well), or someone who could stay back with Penelope for date nights or take her out for nights in.

After a few years of steady rhythm, everything was shaken up with baby Verstappen-Piquet on the horizon. A lot of changes needing to be made to prepare for the child, especially the further along Kelly was getting--appointments and classes and errands. A set of helping hands, especially when Max had to go off for work, was almost necessary.

But it was impossible to find apartments in Monaco on your budget. And with the spare room you had been using turning to a nursery for the little bugger coming along, you didn't have the luxury of sleeping in your employers home much longer.

And so, the hunt began.

Penelope had heard the news from Max, offhandedly mentioning it to Daniel during a padel game. The Australian didn't have space for you, as much as he'd grown to love your presence. A week later, he'd run into Charles while out getting dinner with P, and asked if he or Alexandra knew anywhere while Penelope pretended to be distracted by Leo. A week after that, Kelly had gone out to lunch with a bunch of her friends in the and discussed it openly.

A month in, Lando visited to watch Penelope while Kelly and Max went off to a doctor's appointment. Usually, you would stop by, but you were off on an early holiday vacation with family. The way Lando joked with Max, the easy smile on his lips, the awkward stumbles and laughter through his words... it was just like you could be.

Then, when Max asks, Lando mentions having a spare room he'd have to clean out. And the way Lando smiles when Penelope makes her way over to give him a hug, promising Max he'll keep her in line while the two of them are gone makes an idea flare in Penelope's head.

Lando needed a roommate, and you needed a place to stay. So, obviously, you were an absolutely perfect pair, right? It wasn't a new idea to her, you and Lando had met a few times over the course of the years you'd watched her. Mainly for short moments at whatever grand prix she'd begged you to come to, and the two of you seemed to get along...

And, she thinks you're both single. So, Penelope enacted stage one of her master wing(wo)man plan: getting you to move in with Lando.

While Penelope was scheming, browsing through YouTube for videos full of cutesy RomCom ideas, Lando was saying goodbye to Max and Kelly--wishing them luck, and then shutting the door behind him. He made quick work of sneaking a popcorn bag out of his backpack, popping it in the microwave while he scrolled through the countless movies on their smart TV--finding the perfect one for Penelope to watch.

The girl was engrossed, headphones shoved over her ears, watching a 'my top ten romantic moments in movies' compilation, but the smell of buttery goodness made her lift her head.

Lando smiles, holding out a bowl for her, "Too busy watching that for some old fashioned Disney?"

Glancing to the screen, Frozen 2 was paused on the opening screen, and Penelope tutted, "This came out in 2019."

"But thats like forever ago. Were you even born yet?" Lando smirks and Penelope takes the bowl from him with a scowl, but obliges to sit next to him on the couch, putting her iPad away for now, as Lando started the movie up.

But as Elsa is working to tame the Nøkk, Penelope lets out a soft sigh. Popcorn gone, and interest ruined. She wants to get back to studying. She has all winter break to make this love story happen, and with Lando and Max possibly going back for testing as early as January 3rd, she needs to act fast.

Lando glances over from where he's been idly answering emails between watching the movie, his own bowl empty. Penelope pouts while watching the movie, and he hums, looking at her.

"You're not even watching the coolest scene," Lando chimed softly, remembering the countless times little Mila would screech at the TV when she was really young. Penelope just huffed again, and he found himself curiously laying his head on his palm, "isn't this your favorite part?"

"No." Penelope deadpans, sighing again and dramatically slides off the couch onto her back and groans. She knows its a bit overkill, but its also Lando. He was a bit dramatic too. Penelope ends up closing her eyes for more drama as Sassy jumps off the couch and sniffs her head before trying to sneak a bite of corn kernels.

Lando reaches out and waves Sassy away, earning him a hiss and a sulk from the bengal as she stalks off to a far corner in the room. He slides the rest of his way out of the chair, hovering by Penelope's side before asking softly,

"What'sa matter, P?"

Penelope blinks open one eye at his approach, muttering, "The horse thing is Yn's favorite part of the movie."

"Yn?" Lando pops down on the floor next to her, pausing the movie on the TV, "is she one of your friends from dance?

"No, Yn is my nanny." Penelope sits up, a mischievous thought entering her mind, "but she doesn't have a place to live, so she's not my nanny now. Because she can't live in Monaco."

"Oh, that's a shame. D'ya miss her?" Lando asks softly and Penelope nods, leaning over to grab her iPad, pulling up a photo of the two of them squished together into the camera. Lando's smile tells Penelope all she needs to know, obviously he's totally in love with her, that's why he's grinning like that.

"That's a cute photo, P." Lando says. Jackpot. Shifting to lay on his stomach, Lando shuts his laptop on the couch and Penelope spends the rest of their three hour time talking non-stop about you to Lando. Practically making you sound like a damn angel rebirthed onto this Earth, shoving photos of you in his face, giggling like a mad man whenever he asks a question.

Penelope makes sure to have him follow your Instagram, grinning like a madwoman when he agrees to do so. When Max and Kelly come back, Lando stays for dinner, where Kelly informs Penelope you'll be visiting for a few days to do some apartment hunting.

Max seems to remember Lando lives alone and asks once more.

"I could clean the room out if she needs it," Lando says a bit more enthusiastically now. Penelope pats herself on the back as he says, "When Yn gets here, she can come over and take a look--just, just--just remind me to clean up. It's a bit messy."

"Wouldn't expect anything less from you, mate." Max grins and Lando sheepishly tries to defend himself while Kelly watches with a small smile, looking over to where Penelope eagerly grins.

A few days later, you fly in to Monaco. When the Verstappen-Piquet family stops by to visit, you greet them with tight hugs. Maneuvering around your big suitcase laying on the floor, you surprise Max and Kelly with a gift of a few baby items as well as some other much needed items for the couple. Namely, a gift card to Penelope's favorite store, which Max prompty hands back to you with the words, "she'd prefer shopping with her older 'sister'" tossed over his shoulder. The two don't stay long, having a flight to catch to the FIA Awards ceremony. So, Penelope stays in your hotel room while Max and Kelly go off, and you give her free reign to do whatever she wishes.

It only takes about ten minutes into you two being alone for Penelope to ask about the apartment search, almost bursting at the seams with a sense of excitement thats rare--even for her.

"Who told you that?" You spin around to poke your head out of the doorway, hands on your hips. You've spent the last twenty minutes trying to organize the tiny bathroom counter to fit most of your cosmetics and other items for the next few weeks you'd be staying here.

"I heard Maxie talking about it." Penelope looks up with big eyes, emphasizing her sad tone, "You aren't gonna live with us anymore?"

Sighing softly, you make your way across the room, sitting down next to a pouting Penelope on the bed, snatching her bottom lip between your fingers and lightly pulling it to make her giggle and roll away as you call, "keep your mouth like that and your face will freeze there forever!"

"It's gonna stay like this because I'm mad!" She groans, forcing back her smile and giggles, and sitting up and crossing her arms. Now overkill pouting to get her point across, "You aren't gonna live with me!"

"P, I don't fit in your place anymore." You sigh softly, laying across the bed and holding out an arm so the child can crawl over to lay against your side, "we gotta make room for the baby."

"We have to change everything for the baby!" Comes the sharp reply you were expecting. Max had warned you Penelope seemed a little snippy recently. While excited to have a little brother or sister, it was obvious Penelope was also feeling left out.

"Penelope," You soothe, rolling onto your side to prop your head up on a hand, "babies are a big change and unlike you and me, they can't take care of themselves. That's why your Momma and Max have to do all these classes, and appointments and everything. They've gotta make sure they're ready for the little thing."

"But the baby isn't even here yet and it's ruining everything!" Penelope laments, curling into your side, "Momma doesn't play anymore, Max is always busy moving stuff around, we haven't even had a movie night recently because Momma's been so tired!"

"I'm sorry, baby." You sigh. Totally unknowingly feeding right into Penelope's carefully laid trap, "you're allowed to be upset, but you have to also understand this is what has to happen."

"Will it go back to normal when the baby gets here?" Penelope looks up and you give her a little shrug, running a hand through her hair,

"Not for a while, baby."

"Can we go back to normal? Even if you don't live with us anymore?" Penelope sits up now, dragging you to join her and you smile, lifting her up to sit right on your lap as you fix up her unruly hair--another sign of Kelly's growing baby bump, the lack of Penelope hair-dos.

"We'll always be the same, and I'm looking at staying nearby. It'll be an adjustment but it won't be awful." You smile, tucking her hair up into a braid, securing it with a little bow at the end, "Wanna go get something to eat? Max gave me back the babysitting allowance card..."

Hook. Line. Sinker.

"Please!" Penelope gasps, standing up off your lap and jumping off the bed to grab her bag. A little stuffed cat Jelly Cat bag you think hearing Lando had snagged on a trip recently for the little girl. It's cute, and Penelope smiles when she sees you eyeing it.

"Lando got me this!" She proudly exclaims, holding it up as you slip on your shoes.

"Yeah?" You ask, walking to the door as Penelope bounces behind you, grinning wide enough her cheeks puff up, "you two seem to get along."

"He's really cool! You guys could be friends," Penelope laments, dragging you out of the hotel room once you have your shoes, jacket, and purse securely fastened for her little rollercoaster of a personality, "He thinks you're pretty."

Which, isn't exactly true, but it makes your face warm enough for Penelope as you step into the chilly air.

"Well, thats very kind of him," is your reply as you turn towards the coastline, hosting Penelope up into your arms so you don't have to worry about the curious five year old scurrying off.

You end up at one of Penelope's favorites, Costadoro Social. The place is downright adorable, and you manage to snag a window table. While you order, Penelope gets out only the best pages from her sticker book for the both of you to put together. Once you're both settled in, sandwiches and drinks (yours a coffee and hers a hot chocolate), the crowd mills out of the building. Leaving you and a somewhat familiar couple off in a corner, a third chair at their table yanked out like it's expecting someone to swing by.

As you two start on some winter scene in this very exact ticker book, Penelope rattles off countless stories to you about the weekend in Abu Dhabi. When she gasps, asking to show you the stickers she gave to Lando, you notice the curly headed man at the other table peeks over before turning to his girlfriend to ask something.

She shrugs, and the bell dings on the entry door. The woman behind the counter cheerily greeting the newcomer as you look down to where Penelope proudly shows you a picture Kelly had taken with her and Lando, showing off his stickers.

"They made him go fast and win," Penelope happily says, settling back in her seat. You nod, of course it was the stickers. Not because Lando was a professional, but Penelope looks smug like she'd been the reason for the McLaren WCC, so you let it slide. It's cute.

A Laufey cover of 'I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm' begins to play as you pull out your phone to show Penelope your mothers cats back home, as well as some other photos of the short trip back home.

The man at the table stands, walking over, and the motion catches Penelope's watchful eye as the two men give a short hug to one another--wishing happy holidays. You set your phone down, looking over as you sip your drink, and the dimpled smile of one of the men catches your eye.

He's cute.

He turns, as if feeling your gaze, and before you can jerk back he grins widely, "Hey Pen!"

"Lando!" Penelope squeaks, wiggling out of her chair and bounding over to give him a hug. The two share quick pleasantries and an introduction to Lando's friends--Max and Pietra, before Penelope gasps and runs over to you, "Lando, it's Yn!"

You stand at the mention of your name, hustling over with a sheepish smile as Penelope grabs your hand and drags you over like she'll die if she doesn't get the chance to.

"Hi," you squeak, shaking his awaiting hand, "It's nice to meet you, Penelope talks about you a lot."

His cheeks are rosy as you shake his hand, and a tiny grin pokes at Lando's lips as he nods, "she talks about you a lot, too."

"I told you she was pretty!" Penelope chimes, making Max nearly snort out his coffee while Pietra laughs softly. You and Lando are a bit closer to mortified at Penelope's insistence, and you manage to get her to say goodbye so the group can enjoy their lunch together since she does have dance rehearsal soon.

About two hours or so later, you get back to Max and Kelly's post rehearsal. And while Penelope curls up all about tuckered out from running amuck down the shopping districts, learning new ballet moves, and endlessly mentioning Lando like a lovesick teenager, you pull up your phone and scroll through your feed as Penelope fights off a nap.

It's due time for an Instagram post anyways.

liked by maxverstappen, kellypiquet, landonorris, and others...

yourusername: back home for the holidays <3

kellypiquet: the absolute best!

user: YESS YN AND PENELOPE CONTENT WILL RETURN

user2: omg that DRESS i need

⤷ yourusername: its an innika choo dress but im not sure if they're even open anymore :( kelly got it for me for my birthday last yr!!

⤷ user2: OMG THANK U ill keep an eye out!!!

maxverstappen: so thats why theres beads all over the carpet?

⤷ yourusername: i wasnt the cat who decided to try and eat them (jimmy)

⤷ maxverstappen: unsurprising

lilymhe: omg !!! we need to meet up! alex and i have been dying to update you on The Lore

⤷ yourusername: please!! ive been dying to see you guys again :(!!

user3: SO CUTE!!

user4: i would die to be living ur life yn

landonorris: penelope seems to keep you busy

⤷ yourusername: you saw her shenanigans today, it only gets worse

⤷ alexalbon: lando what r u doing

⤷ landonorris: ???????

⤷ maxverstappen: 👁️

⤷ landonorris: ???!!!!

You're halfway through helping Penelope with wrapping a christmas present for her dance teacher when Max knocks on the doorway. You turn around, standing when he beckons you over.

"How's Kelly?" You ask softly, knowing she's trying to sleep off a bout of morning sickness. Max shrugs, sipping his Red Bull.

"A bit ill, but she seems to be getting better. Penelope's fine?"

You nod, looking back as Penelope crosses her arms and scowls at all the options for the bow she could put on the bag.

"Lando's cleaned his apartment, finally," Max watches Penelope with a soft look, before turning to you and leaning on the wall with a tired yawn. He's still adjusting from the season, and the early sun dipping behind the buildings wasn't helping his sleep cycle.

"You should go over, take a little tour." Max hums, "You deserve a break from watching P all day."

"It's quite literally what you pay me to do, Max." You laugh softly, but with a few more pushes of insistence you finally agree. He shoots Lando a text to let him know you're on your way down as you grab a pair of Uggs you wear indoors, and your keys so you don't get locked out.

The elevator ride down is short, and you walk into the warm hallway to see Lando down the hall peeking out. He smiles at your approach and holds open the door for you.

"Nice to see you again," He chimes as you enter. It's been about a week since you've seen him, now teetering close to Christmas, and you smile at him.

"Nice to see you too, Lando." You hum, and he brings you to the spare room. It's spacious, with a big window that looks over the entire Monaco bay. You're drawn to it like a moth to a flame, it's perfect. Everything you could've dreamed of and more. Lando makes sure to show you the ensuite bathroom and large closet.

Everything feels too good to be true, so you quickly ask, "How much would you want me to pay you in rent?"

"Rent?" Lando pauses in the kitchen where he'd offered to get you a soda from his sparse fridge. He shakes his head, leaning on the counter and taking a sip of his water bottle, "Max told me your budgets quite small. I figured I could pay rent and you could pay like... utility?"

"That's gotta be like a quarter of what you pay for this place, Lando. I have a good amount saved up!" You protest and he shakes his head, a tiny smile on his lips.

"Listen, you're honestly doing me a favor. You probably know how to make a house a proper functioning home. I barely know how to not burn leftovers when I reheat them." He chides himself and you break into a tiny laugh, missing the way his face gets rosy at your giggles, "I need a bit of help making this place look... homey. And Max told me you'd be good at that."

"So I'm helping you learn to adult to pay my rent?" You ask and your bluntness makes Lando flush as he rubs the back of his neck and looks down with a shrug.

"If that's okay..?"

"I mean... I'd like to pay, but if you wanna do it this way, fine... But if I end up staying here for a long time, you have to let me help with rent." You hold a hand out like this will seal the deal and Lando grins, his embarrassment forgotten as he darts over to happily shake your hand. You try to ignore how warm his hands are against your cold ones.

"Welcome home, then--oh! I have a spare key for you!" He tries to flash you a charming smile, but the excited expression taking over just makes his face go through far too many expressions in a row. You can't help but laugh, looking around the bare but clearly well loved apartment.

It could use some work, sure, but thats your job now... you suppose.

general tag (open!)

@d3kstar @justalittlejess (jess ur on here now enjoy LMAO)

series specific tag (open!)

@nikfigueiredo

[gothamite-rambler]

Talia: Okay, if I had Damian in the spring and it’s winter now… I forgot his birthday, didn’t I?

Harley (holding a teacup): Yeah, he said he’s used to it.

Talia (panicked): Oh my God! Quick, what do boys like? Fisher-Price is still a thing, right?

Harley (flatly): Tali, he turned twelve.

Talia (lamenting): I thought he was nine! Okay, I can work with this. I’ll call Bruce—no, no, he’ll be upset that I forgot his birthday and think I don’t care. But I do care! He’s my tifl. I spent thirty-six hours pushing him out of my body! My mind just gets foggy at times.

Harley: Talia.

Talia: If I had remembered, trust me, I’d throw him a party! Plus, I’m a busy woman. I am a businesswoman before I’m a fighter. That’s not me excusing my actions, though. Don’t say it is!

Harley (repeating herself): Talia?

Talia: I need to give him something good—

Harley (raising her voice): TALIA!

Talia (annoyed): What?!

Harley (passing Talia her phone, which is open to the Amazon app): What you see is his wishlist. That’s the stuff he wants as gifts. You don’t have to buy everything, just one or two items.

Talia: Oh bless you, Harley! Huh, he has a lot of books in here. I shall buy them all!

Talia pulled out her phone and began adding every book she saw on his wishlist to her Amazon cart. Harley shrugged, sipping her tea.

Two weeks later, Damian received numerous packages from Amazon filled with the books he had been hoping to get. He blinked, unsure of how to react. But what stood out the most was that Talia had also bought him the ship Lego set he wanted.

Damian: Hm… She really went through my wishlist for this. If she got the notification that the packages were delivered, she should be calling any second now.

His phone rang two seconds later, right on cue. He answered with reluctance.

Damian: Don't speak yet. I just wanted to say thank you for the gifts. Now you can react.

Talia (sweetly): I get you the best because you’re my precious twelve-year-old, and I knew you turned that age, but it’s been crazy busy dealing with business and my father.

Ra's: Hey!

Damian (small smile): Mm-hm, thanks anyways, Mother. I… love you.

Talia: I love you too!

[lovelaetter]

finals are over amen. these are lowkey so incoherent... #NeedToPracticeEng "( – ⌓ – )

kitten!karina : she's between your legs, looking up through half-lidded eyes like you're the only thing that matters. but that's because you are the only thing that matters, to her, at least. she's lapping everything up like she's been starved—might as well have been, you were on a trip, she just craved her fill—and she doesn't care if you already came because she wants—needs—more. almost like purring, her moans against your cunt because she's so pussy-drunk she's slurping and whining like a pornstar. the vibrations against your core as she looks up at you with that sly look almost makes you forget everything. she's so eager to please, needing to fill her mouth.

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ implied consensual somno⠀⸝⸝⸝⠀⠀bunny!winter : she's in heat. twitching and riding a pillow, she's so blissed out with her nose scrunched up and biting on her bottom lip. she's more like a rabbit, humping against any and every surface because she needs to be stuffed full, her mind is begging for it, but she can't form thoughts coherent enough to do it herself. you come home to find her riding a pillow, her face so blissed out but she keeps begging for 'inside' even tho she's not sure if you've come home or not. she'll be so surprised when you remove the pillow, teasing her, "couldn't wait, huh? just needed your cunt stuffed." and she'd be so quick to admit it, too needy to even be ashamed. just impatient when you put on your strap and she's immediately riding it until she's close to passing out. but she's so fucking desperate for even more, she just told you to take over once she's out cold.

fox!giselle : oh, fuck. at work and you just get the horniest messages from gigi. let's be honest, she can't go a single day without teasing because she knows it'll get her a rough fucking. going home to grab her thighs, her ass, her waist—any bare surface you can get as you full on rip off her clothes. taking her from behind so she can force her to look at the mirror, she's bent over the vanity. she's suddenly so shy. whining and moaning in such a high-pitched tone. but she's still being a brat, complaining about you not being deep enough only to immediately cum the second you fully thrust a dildo inside her, one swift motion. she's never felt so full (that's a lie, she makes sure this happens as often as she can, but it still makes her melt brain every time) but you make up for it with sweet nothings because at the end of the day, she does need a little praise because she's still just a brat. acting out because she wants it rough only to realize her mistake after but does it all over again anyway.

puppy!ningning : I don't even know how to explain my thoughts for this one. just... her riding your shoe as she looks up at you. she's like a full on dog, debasing herself and so needy. she keeps saying that it feels good, that you're making her feel good despite you just sitting there and watching her hump at your shoe erratically, almost maniac. and she has the most adoring look. kind of like karina's, except hers is just utter devotion. it's like she's worshipping, not getting herself off. so needy for the slightest bit of attention. a puppy begging for scraps and getting more than because she's adorable and so good.

signed by ☃️

i— anon, it scares me, genuinely, how you ALWAYS manage to read my thoughts, like, what the fuck? also, glad to hear your finals are over, dear, please take some time to rest now !

thinking of spoiled kitten!rina, deserves to sleep on the best sheets with the best pillows and eat the best fish, gets what she wants when she wants and you are no exception. calling her spoiled but it’s your fault, how are supposed to deny her pretty face anything? type to crawl to you, settle herself between your legs and smirk, head nuzzling against your stomach, kisses on the insides of your thighs. whines if you deny her, even as a joke, she missed you so much, your warmth, your taste, don’t do that to her… she promises she won’t disturb you much, knows you’re tired from your trip and the moment you nod she’s already pushing her face against your crotch, over your clothes and everything. she’s so good, so uncaring and messy, hands grabbing at your flesh, kitten claws scratching, and obviously breaks her promise, growing more desperate the moment you cum for the first time, eager to drink up everything. kisses her way up your body after to lay on top of you, purring and rubbing her wet-smeared cheeks against you… clingy kitten :(

bunny!winter in heat, god, i love this. can you imagine actually, not being her girlfriend but like, roommate or something? but there’s this tension and to come home to find her like that ! pretty, little bunny humping your pillow, on your bed, calling your name to help her, what a sight. you try to reason with her— “just needs your cunt stuffed? you could’ve asked”— but the way she simply tosses her head back to look at you, zero shame, taking your hand that holds the pillow, not making much sense, it makes you take pity on her. a mess, bouncing on top of you until her legs ache, dirty sound of skin on skin and wetness and moans echoing, your own thighs slippery with how much slick she leaks. she would cry if she woke up to find out you stopped fucking her just because she passed out, how dare you? it hurts so bad now, she’s so empty and cold… now you know your lesson and to not stop the next time.

now, fox!giselle, this fucking girl, professional brat. she will send the nastiest stuff— extremely detailed text, a photo, a fucking audio that you have to thank god you listened with no one around because she didn’t bother to be quiet, as always— and then go completely quiet, not replying to your panicked texts, sitting at the couch back home giggling knowing she got you. and you know what? she will act shocked once you arrive, might call you desperate. so true about turning shy once she sees your reflections on the mirror because yes, look at her, all blushed and panting, tits pressed to the vanity and she can feel herself drip down her thigh and your eyes on her, so dark… running her mouth about not being full enough only to get both her holes stuffed, so many sensations at time, her noises so loud she can barely hear you ask her if she still needs more, kicking and twisting at you relentlessly playing with her ass. sure does need to hear some praise and sweet nothings during aftercare, whining on your lap because she is sore (she loves it).

puppy!ningning as your office pet… she doesn’t even live with you, started as your secretary but ended up where she is now, in a comfy corner of your office with her toys and phone and food, just something pretty for you to play with when your job as boss gets too stressful. she is so lovely, tail wagging at every bit of your attention, not wasting a single second whenever you order her to come closer. grips on you while her cunt slides over your shoe, part of her mind disappointed, she’s crumpling up your clothes, but it feels so good, she needs to hold onto something. she’s a crier too, but happy tears, satisfied tears, looking up at you with pure admiration, moans that grow louder and louder as you pet her head, leaning down to rest your forehead against hers and shush her, it’s okay, she can cum, be a good puppy and cum for you. she loves you, genuinely, so loyal to you, and dreams of the day you will take her home and she will be able to be yours full time.

[your-mom-friend]

I used to really hate Octavia’s character before because of how much she whined and complained about stola’s not being there. Like I understood it from a character point of view. She’s 17 and her dad is out cheating and fighting with her mom while they both yell and hate each other and it’s miserable but like, as a viewer I was like girl get a grip it’s so obvious he loves you so so much.

Except in the Sinsmas episode when she realises he’s been needing anti-depressants this whole entire time and he was SO miserable he needed meds to be happy, or that he was so miserable that he stayed in this life he hated because of her, the way her outburst becomes so much more human for me then because it’s no longer about “did dad love me” because of course he did, he does and always has.

Now it’s “have I really made him this miserable?” And when the answer was no it became “did you stay because of me? Did you hurt yourself and make yourself miserable just for ME?” And what a fucking awful and horrifying thought. She loves her dad and the idea that this whole time she’s been the reason he was hurting so bad, that he’s putting himself through all that for her and it was so awful he took the first out he could get is so crushing.

I think her pushing him away now has more to do with her hating everything right now; her dad, her mom, her uncle, Blitz, but most of all herself, and the only one she can take it out on, the only one it’s safe to take out on, is her dad and she’s just trying to work through her feelings. Octavia honey I’m so sorry I hated you but I’m repenting and they could’ve never make me hate you again