#she makes me so ill

[0809sysblings]

song: Judas by Abu-Se-Ken

[dreamsky-sapphi]

Listen to me yap about this song being Mahiru core (i dont like twt word limit)

I'm not sure what the show it was made for is about but I've been a fan of Kohana Lam for a while now and this song was also composed and written by Scop (notably made Irony, Crier, and recently Suresure for Project Sekai)

I'm not good at analyzing so I might just sounds like I'm making super obvious comments but this means so much to me

The main thing about Mahiru is her low self esteem, and here I also think about how she never managed to place number one in previous competitions (if I remember correctly)

She knows very well that life is unfair and it's not just her being the victim of it, but she still holds on the hope that she might get what she wants eventually

I initially thought of the word "expectation" here as the weight of wanting to make her family proud and the fact that she is the oldest sister, so the one who needs to be a model for her siblings, and thus putting a lot of pressure on her shoulders. But it can also be the expectancy of her wish becoming true, and I'm thinking about her wanting to perform Starlight with Karen as co-stars. She knows that Karen isn't really motivated (before Hikari arrives) and that Maya and Claudine would get the lead roles again, so she might have tried to shake off that thought, but we've seen in the first episode that she still thinks about it and didn't lose hope

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Mahiru often gets blinded by her insecurity and the fact that she believes she isn't as good as others to the point she straight up thinks she doesn't even deserve to be where she is right now

But in the end she was always lifted back up by someone who reached out to her and helped her remember the reason why she even stands on that stage, her first reason being her grandma and then later Karen

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I was heavily brainrotting here because they explicitely use terms for acting on the stage. Even if Mahiru's worries are easy to see, she still tries her best to hide it and if she feels like she needs to cry she does it where no one can see

I know I'm pretty literal here but you get it

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Mahiru was already comparing herself to others before, but staying with Karen probably toned it down and distracted her enough to not think too much about it

But once Hikari came and Karen started to change, she was left to overthink on her own again, accepting that she is weak and can only compare herself to her friends

She wouldn't want her friends to worry about her in any way, but Karen spending more time with Hikari when she was used to being her partner probably left her to feel lonely, and my take would be that it could end up to a point she'd wish someone would see that she isn't feeling well

And no matter how hard she could try to not think about it, she just can't

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This chorus is kind of similar to the first one but I like the last line a lot and this is mostly just how I perceive Mahiru about this

Despite feeling hurt about a certain situation, she might believe that she shouldn't feel sad. She has a loving and supportive family, great friends, attending a good school, and people looked up to her. I think that she could believe it's too selfish of her to feel sad about wanting something (be Karen's co star) when she has a lot, despite her low self esteem

Again, this isn't exactly canon but I think this could fit this way

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This, this is just episode 5 to me

This part of the song is the first where it sounds different, and rushed. A part where Mahiru's feelings reach a peak, and also the moment before slowly accepting things and especially herself

This song is so perfect already with the lines "Afraid of the shining light (Hikari), even the flower (Karen) that bloomed so beautifully"

Hikari came in their lives and Mahiru was absolutely horrified by the possibility of losing Karen, and Hikari was shining starting the moment she arrived. But despite that fear, Karen became more radiant. She wasn't lazy anymore and only started blooming and Mahiru can't deny that she was indeed beautiful

"The passing days won't stop. Even when I reach out, I can't get there. I can't remember with who I am now"

Mahiru's feelings are a mess and these lyrics display that despair so perfectly. She wished she could go back to when she felt like she had something and she can't stop time from passing by

For "Even when I reach out, I can't get there" I think about both how she can't have Karen for herself anymore, but also her goal to be the one at the center stage, since she never had reached top 1 before. But in her context, being center stage would be the equivalent of being with Karen

And that despair and dependence on Karen truly made her forget about her own shine

(unrelated she looks so cute)

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Starting here, Mahiru learned to accept herself as she is

She didn't fully change of course, she can't fully get rid of her inferiority complex and she will still have times she will cry, but she knows this is just how she is and she can't do much but still try her best

"The light shines on the back of my singing life" I like to think this can either be interpreted as having moved on from her past with Hikari, but also as her knowing she has her own brilliance

"I want to be someone who can extend a hand" Now her goal is to become the sun, pretty much an exact way of showing her new goal

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And finally, the last lines only reinforcing her acceptance and that she works hard to be able to reach her goal and become the one who shines the brightest

She isn't afraid to admit she is weak and it isn't a problem as long as she continues to stay kind which includes having to push your friend several meters off the ground

I like that "The flower that bloomed so beautifully" comes back, because even if she moved on after episode 5, she's still very much in love with Karen and I really like the detail of thinking about her again

And well, the last three lines only add up to how she continues to work hard, both on her low self esteem and to stand brightly on the stage

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I know I might have said too obvious things bc the song is pretty direct and fits Mahiru so perfectly

I really like that it matches so well with the different steps in Mahiru's life in Seisho, from the moment she managed to get in, the moment Hikari came to Seisho, Revue of Jealousy and finally the movie/post movie

I've known this song for a bit and I already associated it with Mahiru before but thinking about it made me brainrot so bad I just wanted to make a whole post about it

I love Mahiru so much and this meant so much to me (i can't deny that some parts might have been self projection)

Don't have much else to say, I love Mahiru

[cottoncandysprite]

The Mayor

[lilyofthevalleycaughtintherain]

writer

[c4tb1t]

Im so normal abt Texas arknights I love her so much but like sometimes a lot of times I'm not normal abt it at all and I'm like GOD I need to see this bitch covered in blood so bad I need to see her defeated I need to see her clutching onto her sword or a wall for support breathing heavily as the adrenaline rush from fighting wears off and she's left exhausted and vulnerable I need to see her struggling and fighting

[nazunanan]

Heh..... sua...

i am a tragedy enjoyer before i am human

[puppppppppy]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[churroach]

Full of Desires

[shackld]

"u-um, Chief? I-I don't mean to he rude but... wh-what are you doing?" (From Lynn)

send  “ What the hell are you doing? “  for your muse to find mine just standing in the rain, seeming lost in their own thoughts, and to pull them under nearby shelter.

It was Lynn's voice that snapped her out of her mini stupor, not the cold soaking her to her bones or the water dripping from her face but the worried tone of the young Sinner from the door she must've forgotten to close. Briefly, she wondered why she was out here in the first place before hands gripped her sleeve and tried to tug her back to dryland, only following once she realized Lynn was getting wet too. (Forget why... How? One second, she watching the storm from her window, the next she was outside in it.)

"Sorry, I must've..." Been out of her mind, left reality again, dozed off? Any of those options would be the truth, they certainly applied in more than one instance but Chief shook her head, turning her attention to the one in front of her. "You should go get dry, you wouldn't want to get a cold. Anne wouldn't let me hear the end of it if I let you..." Chief trailed off, shaking body preventing her from getting the next words out. Fingers smoothed back dripping locks, taking in a sharp breath from freezing lungs before she busied herself with ushering Lynn back further into the MBCC. "Come, I'll walk you back."

[opikiquu]

iknow my comics are ugly please just hear me out

[lotus-pear]

i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

[divineer]

I love to think about character kits in terms of what that says about them and in context of like. How they work in canon as opposed to game mechanics. So I have a lot of thoughts about preservation unit Fu Xuan whose main role on a team is not to prevent anyone from getting hurt but prevent it from hurting too much and takes all of the excess onto her own shoulders instead while also boosting the team's damage.

[glaxierr]

me when i walk into the tragic character contest and my opponent is jinx arcane

[introspectivememories]

was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-

[choccy-milky]

GUYS IM CRYING @/Cestrigolol ON TWITTER BOUND PART OF MY FIC AND IT LOOKS SO AMAZING??? this is actually making me so emotional rn like😭😭look at it….the stuff i wrote looks like a book…and the extra little design elements like the silhouette of hogwarts, the unique font for the beginning of each chapter, my art on the front AND the back…ITS SO BEAUTIFUL GAHHH😭 ILL NEVER GET OVER THIS🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️💖💖💖💖 THESE ARE JUST PICS SHE SENT ME BTW I DONT OWN THIS BUT I WANT TO!!!

[hinamie]

domain expansion