#she loves people so deeply that she refuses to let herself lean on them so she can be somebody to rely on at all times

[lollytea]

this is completely unprompted by anything specific but i just wanted to say i love how you characterize/interpret Willow. she's been my favourite character in TOH for a long time but i couldn't articulate exactly why and you just. GET IT. she's smart she's a silly billy she's kind she's full of anger she's full of love for the people in her life she's a jock she's fairycore she's learning to love herself she has a deranged crush on Hunter. i see your vision i understand you.

YIPPEEE

[fyonahmacnally]

Kiss Me in the Rain

It’s a quiet Friday evening. They’re quietly basking in each other’s company on the rooftop terrace of Kara’s apartment building. Since the blonde’s return, it’s become a common occurrence. Almost every time Lena asks what she wants to do, Kara’s response is ‘spend time with you doing simple things’. It’s something she has been insistent about in the months since she’s been home from the Phantom Zone, indulging in the small things.

Of course, Lena’s certainly not going to argue. Why would she? She’s been pining over her gorgeous best friend for years, always willing to give her time to the woman. Any time spent with Kara is time well spent, in her opinion. Besides, there is no one else she’d give her time to, no one else worthy. 

Their current position has them leaning against the wall of the building, gazing out at the city with its twinkling lights and people mulling about. Inquisitive green eyes wander toward the distinct profile of her best friend standing next to her. She’s in awe of the way the dwindling rays of the sun seem to caress her tan skin and create a starburst of color in golden waves. All the while, her traitorous heart zealously flutters against her ribs, inelegantly clamoring to deposit itself into Kara’s strong hands.

The ravenette’s thoughts are broken as her eyes land on the concerned deep blue orbs staring back at her. Kara’s eyebrows crinkle and her eyes drop briefly to Lena’s chest before darting back up, a look in them that shoots sparks right down her spine. “Everything okay? Your heart just did some interesting acrobatics.” A lopsided smile joins the concerned crinkle on Kara’s handsome face.

Lena laughs. She’s been caught and there’s not a damn thing she can do about it. Yet again her body tells on her. No matter how much stoicism she uses to mask it, she’ll never fool super hearing. Maybe she needs to find a spell for that, she idly considers. “Yes, I’m fine. Just…lost in my thoughts.” She smiles, feeling the blush spread across her cheeks and down her neck. “Sometimes my brain still needs to see that you’re real, that you’re truly here. Sorry for staring.”

A warm hand lands on the small of Lena’s back and another on her stomach. Kara turns her body until they’re facing each other. “I’m here and very real, Lena. Thanks to your beautiful brain.” She leans forward, places a soft kiss to the ravenette’s forehead, and pulls her close until they’re in a full body embrace. “I’m so grateful for you. You’ve saved me so many times and in so many ways. More than you know.”

Lena’s breath hitches and her eyes flutter. The position is nothing new, but she still isn’t used to being so tactile with someone, having someone in her space again. Not yet, anyway. Kara’s warmth is something she wasn’t sure she’d have again and she cherishes every moment, but it absolutely steals her breath each time it happens. Specifically now that she is sure of what she feels and what she almost lost. “Kara.” She whispers, desperately trying to swallow the lump settling in her throat. “I missed you so much.” She blinks back the tears stinging her eyes, refusing to let them fall. 

“I missed you too, Lena.The Phantom Zone made me relive losing you a million times.” She leans back and smiles sadly down at the watery green eyes of the woman she now realizes she’s very deeply in love with. “I feel like we have a lot of lost time to make up for. That I have so many things to atone for, if you’ll let me. I’ve been home for months and I know we spend most of our free time together, but it just…it never feels like enough.” She chuckles and rolls her eyes at herself as her cheeks turn rosy.

“Aww, does Supergirl want to hang out with little ole me?” Lena winks, smirks, and quirks a well-manicured brow at the blonde, loving the effect she has on her. Clearing her throat of the welling emotion, she returns to seriousness. “I feel the same way, Kara. Making up for lost time, earning your forgiveness, and unquestionably wanting to spend as much time with you as possible. All of it. I will never tire of being with you.”

A shy smile stretches across full pink lips as azure eyes curiously scan pale features, seemingly looking for an answer to unasked questions. The blonde shakes her head, rogue thoughts pushed aside. “Same. I think I could spend every waking moment with you and still miss you in my sleep.” Kara shrugs and leans back into their still lingering hug. She turns her face into the warmth of Lena’s neck, inhaling the familiar scent that is simply Lena. Her lips softly graze the pulsing artery under soft skin as she speaks. “I’m so glad you’re here with me. I don’t think I would be adjusting so well without you.”

Again, Lena’s breath hitches. The heat of Kara's breath and feel of her supple lips against the skin of her neck sends electricity skittering across her body and down her spine. She tightens her arms around the blonde’s back and runs her hands across her shoulder blades, pulling their bodies impossibly closer. “I’m here for you, Kara. Whatever you need. And for the record, I am perfectly okay spending every waking moment with you.” She mutters under her breath, ‘sleeping moments too’, forgetting that the super can still hear her. 

Kara laughs and pulls away from Lena just enough that they are face to face again. She tilts her head to the side and stares for a moment, watching as pale cheeks turn pink. “Did you forget about my super hearing again?” A knowing smirk sitting on her lips. “You want to spend your nights with me too, huh?” She laughs as ivory skin darkens into a rouge. 

“I suppose I did forget.” Lena says as she looks anywhere but at the blonde. “You definitely weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Hmm, well I did. Does that mean you’ll sleep over tonight?” A hopeful, bright smile spreads across Kara’s face. “I was planning to ask anyway.”

A soft giggle rushes through Lena’s lips before she can stop it. “I suppose I can do that.” She pulls them both back toward the wall to look out at the now darkened sky. Desperate to change the subject, she points to the clouds across the city. “It looks like it might rain.”

“It does.” She smiles at the blatant subject change. “There’s something so alluring about the rain. A magnetic mystery. Something oddly romantic.” She nudges Lena’s shoulder next to her, ducking her head in slight embarrassment at her overshare. Slightly worried that the dark haired genius woman can see through her and spot the feelings that run wildly through her veins. 

A soft, reflective smile appears on Lena’s face. “I used to have this daydream, or maybe a fantasy of sorts, when I was younger that involved rain.” She fidgets with her fingers where they rest on the edge of the wall in front of her. “I’m not completely sure why or where it came from, but it was the one that always stuck.”

Kara watches her closely, quietly encouraging the ebony haired genius to keep talking. When it becomes clear that Lena is lost to her own thoughts of whatever this fantasy might be, she reaches over to still her wringing hands. “Where’d you go? Did you drift off into this little fantasy of yours?” She smiles and wiggles her eyebrows, lacing their fingers together. “You can share, you know? All of your daydreams and fantasies are safe with me.”

Lena isn’t sure how Kara meant that statement, but her body took it to mean something decidedly not platonic. Once more, sparks skate across her skin and down her spine, landing squarely between her thighs. Shaking her head of the increasingly naughty thoughts, she glances over at the blonde. Her best friend is biting her bottom lip and staring at her lips at the same time. 

She licks her lips and lifts a questioning brow when darkened blue eyes lock with her own. “I did get lost in my dream world for a minute. It’s been a while since I’ve allowed myself to think about things like that.” She smirks as Kara’s eyes drift down to her lips again. “Find something interesting, Kara?”

“Hmm? Oh. Sorry.” Kara says, feeling her blush spread across her cheeks and down her chest. “I was just thinking about what this fantasy involving rain could be. You’ve never really shared anything like that with me before and now I am very curious.”

A melodic laugh fills the air around them as it bursts from Lena’s lips. She squeezes the blonde’s hand still intertwined with her own. “I’ve never really shared them with anyone, I guess. Especially not this one. Growing up in the environment I did, I was never really allowed to express fantasies or daydreams of any kind. Especially not any that involved romanticizing.” She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Could you imagine Lillian or Lex having any type of romantic inclinations?! They were barely human on a good day.”

Kara chuckles. There’s a sparkle of mischief in those beguiling green eyes. She’s spent many nights thinking about what kind of teenager Lena might have been and moments like this make her think there’s still much to learn about the mystery that is Lena Luthor. “I bet you are full of lots of surprises, aren't you?” She grins as she sees the cheshire cat smile make its way onto plump lips. “Oh, that smile tells me I’m not wrong!” She laughs and lifts their hands to her lips to place a soft kiss to the back of a delicate pale hand

“There are so many things you don’t know about me, Miss Danvers.” She winks and leans over to whisper in the blonde’s ear. “I was quite rebellious in my own ways. Some that very few people know about.”

She shudders at the wet warmth of Lena’s breath against the shell of her ear. They are most definitely skating on the edges of their normal flirtatious banter and it’s scattering goosebumps all over her impenetrable skin. Now she absolutely wants to know more, but specifically wants to know what this little fantasy is about. “You know you have to tell me now. I’m always curious to know more about you, but this has greatly piqued my interest.”

“What do you want to know?” Lena gives her a smoldering look, lightly running her free hand up and down the skin of Kara’s forearm. She smiles at the goosebumps that follow her touch. “I am an open book for you, Darling.”

Kara practically chokes on air and disbelief at the look the ravenette gives her. There is a shift in the energy between them. She’s not sure what it is or what’s happening, but everywhere Lena’s fingers touch her skin feels like her body is on fire. “W-what’s the rain fantasy? And I definitely want to know about your rebellious ways.” She tilts her head to the side. “I bet you went out and got tattoos and piercings, didn’t you?”

With a devilish smirk, she leans toward the blonde and whispers, “Oh absolutely. I still have several piercings. They’re just not visible.” She chuckles as she watches Kara’s eyes bulge and hears an almost inaudible squeak escape. “If you’re good, maybe I’ll show them to you someday.”

A very inelegant whimper makes its way out of her throat and her imagination runs wild. She has some ideas about where Lena’s piercings are and it does quite a few assuredly non-platonic things to her body. “I think it would be a lot…of fun. To know. Those things. About you.” She clears her throat in an attempt to clear her thoughts. “Now, what about the rain fantasy? Are you going to tell me or keep avoiding it?”

Lena laughs. A full belly laugh. She caught Kara off guard, but she recovered pretty well. “Are you sure you want to know? We’ve never really talked about those types of things together and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” She smiles at her best friend. “You can’t unknow this about me once it’s out there. Last chance.”

“I promise I want to know. There’s nothing you can say to me that will make me love you any less, Lena. It’s not possible.” She grins at the rosy cheeks she gets in return. “Plus, you’re only ever evasive like that if it’s something that means a lot to you. That will always make me want to know.”

She releases a deep breath and observes the way Kara’s eyes dance curiosity in the now overcast moonlight. The clouds have moved closer to where they are and darkened the sky around them. “I think it started when I watched The Notebook when I was 18. I kept hearing the girls in my dorm talking about how romantic the movie was and I had never seen it.” She glances at Kara. The blonde is listening intently so she continues. 

“By the way, that movie is emotionally devastating. Anway, I watched it on my laptop tucked into my bed in my dorm. The scene where they confess their feelings and end up kissing in the rain resonated with me and sparked a fantasy of being kissed in the rain by the love of my life.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “Unfortunately, life doesn't always work that way. So, over the years, the fantasy has evolved and built upon the first kiss in the rain.”

“What has it evolved into? It obviously started from kissing in the rain, but there seems to be a lot more to it based on the look in your eyes and how far your mind wandered off.” Kara grins and watches Lena’s mind slowly drift again. “Just like that! You just drifted off again.”

Lena shakes her head and forces her thoughts back to the conversation, away from the erotic fantasy that has begun to feature the woman next to her in recent years. “Sorry. Well, it varies, but it always involves kissing in the rain. Sometimes there are torn sheets in the rain as well.” She cuts her eyes to the side and watches as the blonde’s brain catches up with her words, chuckling when blue eyes go wide. “The simplest one starts with a picnic under the stars and ends with making love on the blanket. But, it’s always interrupted by the rain.”

She pauses and gathers her thoughts before finally adding. “I think my favorite is making love on the blanket. When the rain comes, we scramble to cover ourselves and end up tearing the sheets that are covering our naked skin. As the rain falls, our bare bodies are pressed together while we stand in the rain wrapped in the sheets. We share a passionate kiss as the rain pleasantly stings our skin. Then we profess our love for each other as we rest our foreheads together in the middle of a rainstorm.” She sighs and shrugs her shoulders. “Or something like that.”

Kara stands stock still and is eerily quiet beside her. She’s unsure what to say or do after the incredibly intimate and vulnerable confession. Swallowing hard, she chances a glance at the woman next to her and what she sees sends a shudder through her body and throb to her core. The blue of her eyes barely rim the wide, blown out pupils. Her cheeks are flush and her breathing is heavier than before. If she had to guess, she would say the blonde is turned on by the revelation. And well, she’s not sure what to do with that at the moment. 

So, she clears her throat and tries for self-deprecation. “It’s a bit unrealistic, but something about it has always stayed with me.” She smiles shyly. “Have you ever fantasized about something like that?”

“Um, yeah. I guess so.” Kara swallows hard. She’s not sure she can speak coherently right now. Every word and the way Lena talked about it produced some very vivid images. The images are still dancing in her mind's eyes. Images of her and Lena acting out the fantasy. And well, let’s just say that her heart isn’t just beating in her chest anymore. “T-that was…I can understand why it stayed with you. I think it will likely stay with me too.” She chuckles.

Lena leans her head onto Kara’s shoulder. “Hmm, glad I have someone to share the burden now.” She laughs and squeezes the bicep of the arms that’s holding up her head. “There’s just something about kissing in the rain that seems like it would be so raw and real. I think it would be a very memorable first kiss.”

They stand in silence for a while. Both lost in their own thoughts, when the first drop of rain hits their skin. It takes another five minutes before the rain really starts coming down. Before they know it, they’re both laughing and leaning into each other, letting the rain wash over their skin.

“Well, I guess that means we need to call it a night, huh?” Kara says, pulling Lena away from the wall and toward the door to the stairwell. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

Lena smiles. “Sharing with you makes it easier.” She pulls the blonde to a stop just before they get to the door, slowly running her hands up the now damp skin of Kara’s forearms. “What if I wanted it to be you?” She asks quietly as her arms loop around the blonde’s shoulders.

Still darkened blue eyes bounce between hopeful green. “W-what do you mean?” Kara asks, swallowing the hope that keeps trying to camp out in her throat. “Tell me, Lena.”

Delicate fingers mingle with the loose strands at the nape of Kara’s neck, pulling their foreheads together. Lena gently rubs their noses together, their breath mingling in the scant space between them. She breathes against the pink lips she’s imagined kissing for years. “My first kiss in the rain. The fantasy has been you for years. All of it has been.” A shaky breath escapes as their eyes lock and she presses forward. “Tell me to stop.”

“I don’t want you to.” Kara whispers. “Please. Kiss me in the rain.”

On Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48282733

[heliza24]

Ep 5, rage, and time

This was a FASCINATING episode. We’ve got a lot more questions than answers right now— about exactly the nature of Fig’s curse (we know it hopped to her from Gilear, but how does the armor of pride play into it), the exact nature of what happened to Cassandra, and what kind of big bad god (???) was talking to Kristen after the fight— so I don’t have a snappy thesis about this week’s ep. But I have some themes buzzing around my head like persistent flies. So let’s talk about them.

I saw someone earlier point out that rage and anger seems to be a dominant theme of the season, after Kristen got advantage for leaning into anger at her parents, and I think we know for sure now that that’s true. I refreshed myself on what happened to Lydia— she sealed a dangerous demon inside a soul gem and embedded it in herself to keep the demon from escaping. She was in a permanent rage to keep herself alive, and the impact of that disabled her. As a disabled fan I have always loved this rep, because the gem functions like a chronic illness, and I personally have used anger at the medical system and the ableist world to survive being chronically ill. (She also refused to have the gem removed and risk releasing the demon, which is a great refutation of the magical cure trope). Anger is a dirty fuel though, and if you burn too much of it you’ll end up burning yourself, and compromising your own mental health, in the process.

That reminds me of the kind of things we were circling from the beginning of the season— burnout, exhaustion, being past where you can fight. And if people heap enough stress on you (from schoolwork or otherwise) a kind of natural response to that is to break into rage at some point.

I don’t exactly understand the mechanisms of the star bursts that originated within Cassandra and then made her monstrous. Were parts of her anger embedded in them like the demon was in Lydia’s soul gem, and then when they re-entered her they turned that rage into something uncontrollable? Why did they affect Kalina that way and why did she mention Ragh’s name? I’m really not sure, although I do hope that this means that Lydia will play a larger role this season and we’ll see more of her and her cool wheelchair soon.

The other things that’s bouncing around my head is the theme of time (a recurring Elmville theme; chronomancy is the greatest magic of all after all). I think this season is concerned with time, and what it means to run out of time, even more than freshman and sophomore year. We have Arthur and Ayda traveling through time and the quadrangle situation. Now we have the Synod clock and a verifiable time loop (side note: I did ABSOLUTELY burst out laughing when Brennan exasperatedly said “anyone can roll arcana to understand time loops” when the PCs were confused, like GOD haven’t you all seen this in a million science fiction stories by now??? A deeply relatable moment when the players aren’t picking up the lore you’re putting down). But maybe more importantly, we’re seeing the consequences of not having enough time this season, or maybe what happens when the clock keeps running after the adventure is supposed to be over. No one has enough time to do all the assignments on their plate. Everyone missed out on fun, school planning, and relationship stuff over the summer because they had to be fighting the night yorb and didn’t have enough time to go home. (Also, side note, the night yorb turned everything to night therefore eliminating a way we have to tell time. No more days, just one long bleed of an adventure). And everything we’re doing right now feels like we’ve somehow hit the end of time and then kept going— Cassandra was never supposed to turn back into something akin to the nightmare king again. Kalina was never supposed to come back in the same form and taunt Riz again. The whole thing feels like a lesser, diminished time loop. Even the main high school antagonists, the rat grinders, are like a weird version of the bad kids who are stuck just looping over and over again, grinding out xp and repeating themselves infinitely.

I don’t really know how these two themes are going to hook together yet exactly, but I have a feeling they’re going to. Whoever was on the phone with Kristen feels like a hook for underlying plot, if not an outright big bad, which I honestly wasn’t sure we would get at all this season. So I’m gonna be so interested to see how these themes coalesce as the season goes on.

PS- I think The Seven is also extremely concerned with time (especially that sequence in the penultimate episode, which is my favorite in all of D20 I think. No spoilers if you haven’t seen it, but it is truly transcendent), and especially what it means to grow and change. I love that this theme keeps popping up in Elmville- it’s such a lovely frame for the kind of coming of age stories that get told there.

[sillyromance]

Since @tinysuzy posted a beautiful list of vore dialog prompts, one line has been stuck in my head, and it refuses to leave. It stands under number 8: “If you want to die, then let me be your grave”.

There are so many controversial emotions fighting inside of me whenever I read this, but the one that overcomes, or rather concludes them all, is a feeling of comfort. It’s kinda illogical, I know. But this phrase always sounds so soft, so soothing to me – because I see it as an apotheosis of acceptance, love and trust. Yes, trust, because both pred and prey need huge amount of trust to bound their lives together till the end of times. I can’t help but put these words in a mouth of someone with deep empathy and compassion, someone who is so generous and selfless in a way that they offer to an abandoned, lost soul their body as a place where the latter would be in safety and peace for eternity, where nobody would ever hurt them again. And as far as it may seem to be just a way for a pred to get an easy meal, I don’t see even a hint of thoughts about gaining anything from a prey or using them here. Furthermore, as a prey myself, I would be deeply touched, realizing that a person cares about me so much that they are ready to spend all their life as one with me. Like… They would take all I have as their own, all my good and bad, all my imperfections – and wouldn’t judge, or laugh, or blame, or try to change me… They would just be there for me, and I would be there for them – forever.

I don’t know man. But reading this every time makes me emotional.

A small writing on this under the cut:

- If you want to die... then let me be your grave.

She sobs and leans closer to him, feeling his warm, welcoming body embracing her lovingly. She can hear his heart beating softly in his wide chest - and can't get enough of the sound, desperate to be surrounded, shaken by it to the very core of her bones. He brushes her hair, his touch soothing and comforting, and she isn't afraid of anything anymore.

Those nasty people will never get her again. Her friend is here, ready to bring her to safety, to give her shelter and defend her from the cruel world.

His big palm lays on her cheek. She smiles through tears and lets it caress her; as far as his fingers brush against her lips, she kisses them - and gives him one last look, look of deep sadness and deep gratitude.

- Take me in. Please.. - She asks, titling her head down.

And, soundlessly, he obliged, sealing her in his mouth up to her neck.

She isn't scared of pain - there won't be any. At best, it will tingle pleasantly until she get knocked out by heat and lack of oxygen. Powerful, yet gentle swallows make a good job slowly entraping every inch, every small piece of her body inside of her man, sending her closer, closer to her fate. She can already hear his stomach rumbling for her down below, and her smile spreads wider at the thought of answering that eager call of his inhuman nature. His organism wants her inside... Who is she to disobey its will? Besides, it fits her own desires perfectly..

Eventually, from the tight esophagus she is released into a roomier chamber. A stomach. The place where she will lose all her worries and fears along with her flesh.

It's clenching needily around her frame, keeping her right in its centre, demandingly cradling every curve and imperfection she thought everyone would hate, but he... wants. She feels his hands, too, resting on his expanded belly, rubbing at her back and shoulders, reaching to her through the layers of skin and flesh. She isn't alone. He didn't lie saying he would be there. Her love, her home.

Her last resting place...

Enough grief, enough struggles, enough anger. It's over. She notices liquid pooling in and eases herself into it, allowing it to fulfill its purpose and digest her. It feels blissful, to let it go. To let him take her and satisfy his body. As the walls hug her tighter, she fondles them, praying she won't be a challenge for him to claim.

She knows - he isn't the one to take advantage of her vulnerability, to tease, then deny her, to laugh at her weakness and freakiness. No.

He is her savior. Her hiding spot only they two know about. They both win this, for both get what they crave the most and what they deserve: she gets safety, love, protection; he gets nourishment and strength - not the kind of strength to abuse and destroy, but to build and help this world get better. Yet, there is no selfish reasons in the first place. They give things out of their hearts, and receive, minding the value of each gift. It makes this act even more intimate and beautiful.

They are definitely better this way, as a whole, powerful being.

...And she sinks into darkness, to become light in his kind eyes.

[mana-jjk]

Mana.... Hows jjk 261 :3 (im bawling my eyes out)

hi babes <3 !

i’m coping so hard right now, but this chapter gave so much to think about in terms of characterization too.

spoilers under the cut !! i’m so serious y’all, you will be majorly spoiled if you keep reading

ok so first of all, i feel so vindicated that everyone is starting to realize how much of a crazy bitch yuuta is. i’ve been saying since day one that the boy is unhinged and i love him for it. i think it’s interesting how in general, the second years all fall under a different morality stance that impacts each other.

i don’t think the typical moral alignment chart really fits them, so let me ramble for a second.

maki is a bit true neutral to me in that she will turn her nose to the society set before her, because it’s wrong. she has strong ideals, but her behavior used to be very much of looking out for herself before much else. that means hurting others feelings, not giving into designated good behavior to make it easier for others, goals dedicated to breaking the glass ceiling rather than any passion to save anyone. her actions may lean to an objective good and evil stance, whatever may be necessary. i think her stance is definitely swayed by her comrades. the initial reaction to yuuta possessing gojo’s body was immediate refusal. it’s almost odd that she’s had such a strong reaction to it, considering her past attitude of doing whatever may be necessary. her real reaction stems from the danger that has the potential of impacting yuuta.

panda is definitely more interesting in that he’s not human. he’s most often shown as one of the more empathetic in the show despite his inhuman origins. yet at the same time, he’s very tactical and thinks of humans and their emotions as strange. there’s an almost juxtaposition of that kind nature in combination with a degree of separation that is visceral in nature. case in point, panda acknowledges that there is danger to yuuta in this case, yet he has the most subdued reaction to such. is this because he cares less? i don’t think so. however, another point is when yuuta is screaming about becoming a monster. panda shows little to no reaction outwardly. again, you have to ponder the choice in this. yuuta used to be the prime example of his inability to understand humans and their emotions. i do wonder if that’s still the case after masamichi was killed. they both lost a figure deeply important to them. the difference is that panda refrained from enacting vengeance and instead displayed his, perhaps most genuine, showcase of emotion. part of panda’s journey is about discovering where he stands in society. reacting to this in such a way feels like an acceptance of that journey coming to an end. he understands yuuta, because he had to become more in order to process these tragedies, with another on the horizon.

i think i’ve said this before, but i do see potential where toge would’ve been set up as the moral compass of the second years (if gege didn’t keep forgetting about him). out of all the characters, toge was set up to be one of the most self-sacrificial. silencing and isolating himself his entire life to prevent cursing others, trying to make yuuta stay back or run away when there’s danger, protecting megumi despite the damage to his throat, asking nobara not to kill one of the very few people who knows a dangerous weakness of cursed speech, protecting an entire civilian crowd by himself, and so on. but there’s smaller pieces too. stopping maki from bullying yuuta, protesting sending yuuji alone during the exchange event, always choosing non-violent commands on his peers if necessary, physically stepping in to stop todo from harassing megumi, checking in on the others well being. i’ve always seen that moment with maki and stopping her as indicative to their relationship. if he says she’s gone too far, she trusts him. his reaction to yuuta’s speech is also the most visceral, there’s a hint of horror on his face that you can’t see with anyone else. it’s a terror i only have to assume at the knowledge that yuuta cannot, will not be stopped. and for toge, who has so much of his character built around care, it must be so horrifying to know that you are helpless to save the one you care about most, as helpless as he was to prevent the decimation of the civilians entrusted to him in shibuya.

yuuta actually tickles my brain in the best way y’all. i have SO MUCH to say about this man and his morals. what is absolutely crazy is that you would think yuuta is being set up as the straight man (not literally, that boy is bisexual as fuck), but in that he did not grow up in their society. maki, toge, and panda were all groomed from birth to be soldiers. ready to do what is necessary to save civilians. megumi said it best, they’re not heroes, they’re jujutsu sorcerers. that means being deplorable sometimes, expecting not to save everyone, yet willing to die in an instance without cursing the world. despite this, somehow it’s yuuta who emulates these values the most. where others may protest the ethics of the body swap, yuuta intercepts with bone-chilling anger. where toge refrains from using permanently damaging curse words, the first one and most common yuuta uses is ‘die,’ where others might turn tail and run, yuuta digs in his heel and does what is necessary. likely this is a byproduct of growing up with the vengeful spirit of rika for five years. single-handedly, he was responsible for numerous injuries and deaths even before arriving at the school. we see this byproduct in his willingness in biting the faces off roaches, killing yuuji, and taking it upon himself to kill his mentor’s best friend not once, but twice. and then letting the copy of rika EAT HIM !!

were these all necessary at the time? of course, but the moral strain, the implications of his mental state in order to do so is one that is vastly underestimated.

yuuta killed yuuji.

with his own hand, he cut through flesh and blood and bone and dug through to the other side. he did it without a twitch in his face, he did it after chasing him through the city. yuuji did not lie down and take it, he ran and he fought for his life. the desperation on yuuji’s face, the terror, the chilling understanding that he would not survive this. he might have healed him, but what kind of person do you think it takes to go through with that? yes, it was necessary. but i want you to imagine yourself in that position. it’s not a moment to take lightly, especially if you’re not entirely sure if it will work. taking this all to the present day, if you were surprised at the lengths yuuta will go, i truly cannot imagine why.

gojo satoru is not being used as a weapon. he is a tribute. the very act in itself is an accolade, the only eulogy they can afford to provide. the act of desecration is a love letter, a legacy borne of blood soaked thorns and crumbling graves. the strongest, the one and only, the honored one. untouchable, unreachable, an unattainable monster. gojo describes others as the flowers that fester and grow, who love in theory but never truly understand. do you understand the gut-wrenching tragedy it takes for someone as blessed as yuuta to sink into the grime that no one dares venture, to foresake his blessings to become the decomposition, the nourishment of these roots, to take over like a parasite, a hive mind, if only to ensure the loss is not in vain?

no one is looking at this the right way.

yuuta isn’t disrespecting gojo by using his body as a weapon, he is honoring him in the only way he knows how. he’s taking his life, filled with blessings, friends that adore him, the chances for love and happiness, the journey it took for him to come here, and laying it out in offering. i see your pain, i see your endings, and to ensure you rest in peace, i will ensure that these hands finally lay to rest that which has taken so much from you.

yuuta loves gojo, he loves him so completely that he became a monster far before this act. he killed his best friend so he wouldn’t have to, he killed the parasitic host of his best friend so he wouldn’t have to, there’s so much blood on his hands it’s hard to tell where the devotion ends and humanity begins.

we can scream black and blue that this is wrong, that he deserves a proper rest, that they are abandoning the humanity in which they strive so much to save. to that i say, no shit, it’s almost like that’s the point. asking children to fight in a war they never asked for is wrong. training these children from birth and grooming them to be weapons before they even know how to define what it means to die is wrong. trying to execute teenagers with no knowledge or understanding of their abilities or place in this society is wrong. telling teenagers who will never experience a normal school life to engage in suicide missions, knowing they have no chance is wrong. demanding that they place priority over lives, especially over their own is wrong. outlawing their very existence, to which was groomed specifically for their society, is wrong. asking them to plan for their early demise, to greet death with acceptance rather than rage, is wrong. it’s all wrong, it’s all a product of a broken society that could never move forward. asking them to fight with amputated limbs, disfigured skin, and no one to mourn their existence beyond the circle of lives at the beck and call is wrong. but the end of sukuna is a potential turning point, the end of a generational transition cycle that continues to cog forward. gojo hated this society most of all, and i have no doubt that he has brought the end of it.

if not the death of the elders, it is the death of himself that spurs the same change that came with his birth. it’s almost tragic that gojo’s life mission was to ensure that the youth could live their lives to the fullest, yet he had to accept that their lives would be laid down regardless. gojo sacrificed his entire life, from birth to death to be a protector. yes he stopped executions, he gave chances to many who would have otherwise been ostracized, yet all in the same they lay down their lives and die all too soon. children he helped raise, children he would have done anything for, children who now face his death with their own bodies in the line of fire. in the end, he didn’t change a thing. prolonged death sentences maybe, yet what does it matter if they die by their society or by sukuna’s hand? that is why yuuta needed to take his body. because gojo is not done, he cannot be laid to rest until the final obstacle is out of the way. a last wish, the closing of a door, the balance of what was good and necessary.

as long as sukuna lives, they have failed. and yuuta, the one most blessed by the efforts of gojo, the one who had the most to live for, understands that more than anyone else.

the truth is that gojo was so completely adored by his student, in a way even he didn’t understand. children who were saved by him, the outcasts of the jujutsu world who were given a family because of him. megumi who was able to escape the zenins, yuuji who was given a prolonged execution, nobara who finally had people sitting in her chairs, maki who was fighting against the foundation, panda who was not even human, toge who’s very life was outlawed, yuuta who had long since lost all reason to live. they found each other because of gojo, they found reason to live in each other. because of that, they found the confidence to die too.

jujutsu kaisen for these very reasons is not for the faint of heart. the death of nanami was the tipping point of a decent into darkness in which children are not spared. there are no children in a war of this scale, only born and raised soldiers who will live and die a life documented only by the tragic losses unknown by the rest of society. the people who were everything, the people they would have done anything for, not even a smear in history. unnamed, unthanked, unnoticed in their absence to the rest of society. because even a happy story like yuuta’s is built on the knowledge that every blessing was only a prolonged sacrifice.

he would give up everything and anything, because that was the only way to ensure the people he loved, his everything and anything, lived to see another day. that is what becoming a monster truly means. the capability and willingness to become an ugly, wretched, and cruel being, if only to ensure you are the strongest.

however, yuuta does have something that gojo was never quite able to keep. the love and devotion matched in full by his comrades, unwilling to let him face these battles alone. therefore, even as tragedy trudges on, i truly hope this is where we can see the potential of the established bond in the second years.

i will continue being delusional, if only to believe my found family will not yet be ripped apart (like yuuta). so to answer your question, i too am suffering !! slice of life alternate universe when

[slutouttanowhere]

Pairing: Drew McIntyre x Desiree Faith Simons(oc)™️

Warnings: toxic work environment, manipulation, coercion, alcohol consumption, being exposed on social media, this chapter gets a wee bit angsty. Mandy Rose, and Eva Marie are big time heels in this story, this is no hate to their actual on screen characters or them as people by the way. Please enjoy, leave comments, reblogs and follow for more 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Previous chapter here: chapter 3

Chapter 4: But wait…there’s more

Desiree and Drew arrive at the arena together, their arms link together, and a smug look on Drew’s face. It was no big secret to everyone else how badly he missed Desiree while she was gone; his mood was incredibly somber, and volatile. Those were considered to be some dark days, but as he peers down at her, a warmth that he hadn’t felt in a while, settles in his chest. He is happy she’s back. “Double Dee!” Naomi’s voice carries through the hall, she’s leaning against a production crate off to the side. She hasn't changed into her attire for the night, but her make up is already done.

Desiree detaches herself from Drew, and jogs towards her best friend. “Baby!” Desiree squealed happily, they met each other halfway, and collided. Their arms wrap around each other, the both of them squeezing as hard as they can. When they part, Drew gives Naomi a high five, but he stretched his arm up well above his head.

“There’s no way you’re reachin that las.” He teases, a playful smirk on his lips. Naomi was no taller than 5 '5, no matter how great her hoops are, the Scottish warriors arms are just too long.

Naomi groans, “this is cheating somehow.” She rolls her eyes, but didn’t fight the grin that stretches across her lips.

“I got you, I got you!” Desiree shoutes, her arms are open, and she lowers into a squatting position. Naomi, trusting her friend, braced herself on Desiree’s shoulders, and with all the strength in her thighs she lifted Naomi. Quickly she slaps Drew’s hand before Desiree lets her go, carefully placing her back on the ground.

Drew was taken aback by such a display of Desiree’s strength. My girlfriend just deadlifted another human being, that’s hot. He internally moaned, that is quite possibly the most attractive thing he’s seen a woman do. “watch out folks, the gun show is in town.” He deeply chuckles, on cue Desiree began to flex her muscles, and pose arrogantly. Okay, she definitely didn’t have those muscles before. His phone buzzes in his pocket, the ladies continue their conversation on their own when he becomes distracted.

Unknown number: you didn’t tell her about us?

Drew stares at his phone quizzically, it’s unusual he’d get a text from some random person. It’s not like a whole lot of people have his personal number, he’s itching to text back, but he had a bad feeling about that. Whatever, maybe it’s one of the guys fucking around. He dismisses it all together, then deletes the text.

“I’m gonna go get done up.” Desiree’s voice brings his attention back to the present, he barely replies before she reaches up, and pecks him on the lips. He can see how eager she is to go gossip with one of her girls, so he didn’t fuss. He understands just how important her friendships are to her above all else; that’s how Drew and Desire started. A dumb, little friendship where he’d tease, and kid with her all day long. Then somewhere down the line things got intimate fast, he was so attracted to her that he just let it happen. It was too late when he realized what was happening, that he had fallen in love with her. If it hadn’t been for him starting over in NXT, they never would have met.

“Girl, I’m so glad you and Drew are back together. Maybe now he can stay out of trouble, I was really starting to worry about him, you know?” Naomi sat across from Desiree in an unoccupied makeup chair. It was true, Drew had a cloud hanging over his head; most of the male locker room steered clear of him, Naomi was one of the ones that refused to leave him hanging.

Desiree feels uncomfortable, feeling guilty that she wasn’t there for him, but she swallows that down. “Technically we never were officially a thing.” She mumbles, embarrassed, to which Naomi rolls her eyes

“Doesn’t matter, you’re back, so now he can stop getting suspended damn near every month. Drew is like a big brother to me, and you know I love you Desipooh. I just wanna see everyone happy.” Naomi said lovingly, her words genuine, and sweet as always. If there is anyone who could put a smile on her face, it’s Naomi, and Desiree loved her for always being such a light when needed.

As Ashely works on Desiree’s eyeshadow, Desiree sat with her eyes closed, and a small grin on her lips. “What else do you have to tell me about my time away?”

“You know I don’t gossip…” Naomi trailed off, she did want to tell her about the rumors about Drew and Seth, and who their drama was really about; however, she felt like it wasn't her place to talk about a man's business. Instead she said,"mmm I think you should be asking Drew a lot of what went on while you were gone.”

"What does that even mean?” Desiree pressed Naomi for information, but she didn't budge, the silent denial of Desiree request for information shocked her. The two of them shared everything, so the fact she was holding back now made her feel a mix of emotions she didn't know how to describe. Betrayal being at the forefront.

When Desiree opened her eyes Naomi was still sitting across from her, an apologetic expression on her face, and a sheepish smile stretching across her glossy lips . "Drew will tell you everything, I promise.” If only she knew I’ve been trying forever with him. She felt defeated when it came to that topic, Desiree parts her lips to speak, but is cut off by the sound of someone's laughter. "Are you sure about that, Naomi? He wasn't even man enough to tell her that another woman was doing what she couldn't.” Mandy Rose, shasways towards Desiree and Naomi. Mandy and Eva Marie stood with their arms linking together, a prideful expression adorning her features when Desiree became visibly upset. She stands from her seat, and so does Naomi, ready to get in between them if things get too heated.

Desiree chuckled dryly, "yeah if I were Drew I wouldn't claim a bitch that didn't know how to blend her nose contour either.” It's a lame rebuttal, but she'd be lying if she said this whole situation wasn’t making it feel like someone is clutching her heart. She’s trying to maintain her composure, but Mandy is not making it easy at all.

"I can't wait till you wake up and realize that a man like that won't wait for you to make up your mind.” She laughed lightly, she whipped her long blonde tresses over her shoulder, and folded her arms over her chest.

“It’s giving background character to be honest.” Eva giggled, her hand over her mouth trying poorly to suppress her laughter.

Desiree tilted her head, “I’m sorry who are you?” She asked with feign confusion, Eva’s bright red lips pressed into a flat line, Naomi could be heard snickering from the sideline.

"I know Drew better than you Desiree, when he's feeling needy he can't help but spill his deepest darkest secrets with me.” Mandy whispered so only the two of them could hear her words, Naomi didn't like the way this was going. Mandy Rose was a habitual liar, and would say anything to control the narrative in her favor. Naomi and Jimmy were victims of that a long time ago, but she didn't understand why she was locked in on Desiree so much?

"You may have had his dick, but I’ve always had his heart, try again.” Desire spoke fiercely, she just about had enough of Mandy's bullshit, there was a momentary pause, and she's never found it so difficult to be in someone's presence before. Mandy took a step back from Desiree. She grimaced, at a loss for words as Naomi tugged at her best friend's arm to leave. Desiree didn't have to look over her shoulder to know that the fitness models, Mandy Rose and Eva Marie, still had their eyes on her. Desiree, and Naomi kept walking until they reached the ring. With it still being the afternoon, there weren't any fans yet. A production team busied themselves with their work, a few of the officials were standing off to the side discussing that night's show.

Seth was in the middle of the ring, he looked to be discussing a match with Cody Rhodes. “I'm gonna talk to Seth.” Desiree muttered, Naomi wore an uneasy expression, but she nodded her head. She let go of Desiree's arm, she watched as Desiree approached the ring, and climbed up on the apron. Naomi hoped Mandy's words didn't affect her too badly. “Hey blockhead.” Desiree called out to him, he pulled out of the headlock Cody had him in.

“How did you know she meant you?” Cody asked looking dumbfounded, his gaze moved between Seth and Desiree, and he wondered if everything he's been told about her were true. That she only after the spotlight, and had no problem cutting people off to get to the top of her success. Brandi referred to her as an Ice Queen. Cody thought about the conversation he and his wife were having the night of Desiree’s return, but he’s heard the complete opposite from some of Desiree’s closest friends. Seth definitely only had nice things to say about her, which is nothing new under the sun when it came to him, the man known as The Architect is very kind hearted.

Seth snorted, "I’m gonna beat Seth Rollins because he’s got an ego the size of his blockhead, and I’ve got an asswhooping big enough to match.” He repeated Desiree’s words from their first promo together years ago, verbatim. Cody's eyes shined with amusement, seeing some of her current work proves she hasn’t lost her touch being out for a year.

“Don't blame me, Dusty told me to be myself, and lucky for me he paired Seth and I together. That was the first thing that came out.” She shrugged her shoulders as she climbed inside the ring, she leaned her back in the corner, and draped her arms lazily over the top ropes.

“Dusty had been calling me ‘blockhead’ for weeks after that.” Seth smiled to himself recalling the memory, those were good days for him, and he didn't regret a moment of it. Things with Desiree were easier too, he wasn't sure when they had drifted so far as friends, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't have to do with a six foot Scottsman. Ah yes, the thorn in my side for many years. Seth thought sourly to himself, “anyways, what do you want?” He asked half heartedly, just at the thought of his drama with Drew he was exhausted.

"Is that how you talk to your friend?” she asked softly, a small smile on her lips, and blarney in her chocolate brown eyes. Whatever it was that she wanted from him, it must be difficult for them both for her to be so nice to him.

Seth chuckled deeply, "oh, is that what we are? Friends?” he asked bemusedly, Cody took this as his cue as he was starting to feel more like a third wheel in the conversation. He slapped Seth on his shoulder, then waved a friendly hand in Desiree's direction before leaving. “Are you happy? You scared Cody off with your Wednesday Adams ass smile.” The second Cody was out of earshot her face changed, her lips fell into a pout, and her eyebrows pinched together. The way she denied his banter this time was different than the last, she looked pissed, but she was at least doing a good job at holding it back.

"What happened between you and Drew? And don't give me any shit about him being the one to tell me because I've tried that, and he won't budge. I'm sick being the one left in the dark.” She whined, he felt bad about not saying anything, though he's surprised she still doesn't know.

“You wouldn't be if you'd just open your eyes Des.” He breathed, he sat in the middle of the ring with his legs crossed, Desiree came to sit in front of him, mirroring his movements. “Would you believe me if I said all this?” He gestured between the both of them, his index finger making circular motions. "Has everything to do with you?”

“Plain English please.”

Seth exhaled through his nose, he turned his eyes up to the arena lights as he silently prayed for patience. “Listen, way back when, I maybe had a crush on you or whatever, and Drew didn’t like that.”

Desiree gasped, “what? You had a what?” She shouted, some people turned their heads in their direction out of curiosity, but quickly lost interest.

“Jesus this ain’t a telenovela, it’s not like being attracted to you specifically is weird. You’re charming in an annoying way, goofy, and you’re pretty damn talented too.” Seth spoke honestly, he would never feel the same about her as he once did, there was too much distance between them now. But he wasn't going to lie about his past feelings either.

She looked down at her hands, her fingers were tangled together, she felt vulnerable under his gaze. “I didn’t know…” she whispered, she felt dumb that all this time she never saw it, but then again her thoughts were preoccupied by her career.

“It’s not your fault really, now that I look back on it, I don’t think I tried hard enough. I let my jealousy of whatever the hell there was between you and Drew get in my way, and I just sorta gave up on trying.” He shrugged his shoulders, they were all so young back then, he knew in his heart that had that been now, he’d fight for her harder. “The man I am today never would have let you go.” Seth thought that would have been difficult to admit out loud, especially to her face, but instead it felt like a weight had been lifted.

“So what about you and Drew, did he ever say anything to you?”

“Of course! Drew always has something to say, he was nice about it at first, but then when you started hanging out with him less and less, he blamed that on me.” Again he looked up at the arena ceiling, this time he wished for a lifeline, he’s been saying Seth was the reason for their wedge this whole time, and now he was right. “The heat between us just carried on through the years, we never reconciled, and when you got injured a while ago things just got worse.”

Desiree’s eyebrows pinched, “that’s not fair Seth, you had nothing to do with that.” She felt second hand guilt, she could just about guess how those arguments went; Drew would never start off yelling, but if it prolonged he’d be shouting and roaring like a bull. As stubborn as Seth was, she knew he’d never back down from Drew’s fury.

“I know, listen Des, I may have caused an argument a while ago that I should warn you about if you bring this up to him.” He paused for a moment, the countdown clock for all talent to clear the ring, and head backstage began ticking. “A few months before your return, we got into it again. I don’t really remember how it started, but I lied and said you talk to me all the time. Then he jumped me, then we got into a huge fist fight.” He cringed towards the end, he was holding his breath, and waited for her to yell at him.

“Colby! Why would you do that, you know how he felt about me…you’re such an idiot.” She punched his shoulder as hard as she could hoping it actually hurt him.

“Ouch! I know, okay! Not one of my finest moments to lie about something so dumb—

“To you! It’s dumb to you, it really tore him up inside, and you might have made that worse. You owe him an apology, and the truth.” She got up to her feet as the clock reached two minutes, she swallowed back the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure what to expect when she approached him about this, but she sure as hell didn’t expect that.

“Fine, I’ll apologize.”

“Tonight.” She hissed through clenched teeth, and fire in her eyes, Seth thought better than to crack a joke right about now, the pain in his harm from where she punched him was still throbbing.

“Yes, I swear, when I find him it’ll be the first thing I do. Pinky promise.” Seth held out his pinky finger, he wiggled it encouragingly, but eventually Desiree caved. They enter locked fingers, “I really am sorry I’m part of the problem Des.” He said after a while, their fingers were still interlocked, he needed to let her know it wasn’t his intention to hurt her in any way. She matched his gaze, she hadn’t been mentally present in so long that she forgot how comforting Seth’s eyes could be.

“Friends?” She offered.

“Best friends actually.” He grinned, when Desiree didn’t argue, he pulled her in for a hug. They were the last two of the talent to leave to ring as the production team finished things up for the show. They walked side by side through the curtain, Hunter wasn’t there yet, but some of the other creative team sat around the gorilla.

“I’m gonna go get dressed, you find Drew?” Desiree confirmed, as she held onto Seth’s shoulders pulling his focus in, Seth nodded his head with a determined look, and then they split ways.

Fortunately for Seth he didn’t have to try that hard to find Drew, as soon as he rounded the corner, there he was. Talking to Mandy Rose, they seemed to be arguing about something as they aggressively spoke in harsh whispers. “Just the man I was looking for.” Seth chuckled, his eyes darted to Mandy with curiosity, but they didn’t linger for too long. The less he knew the better, besides he was crap at lying when it came down to it.

Drew for once, appeared relieved to see Seth, “saved by the bell.” Mandy mumbled, without a glance in his direction she practically stomped past him, her lips were deeply turned into a frown.

“I’m not even gonna ask about that.” Seth started before Drew had a chance to try and clarify anything, “I actually came here to talk about the one person we’ve been killing each other over for years.” He always tries to keep it light with Drew nowadays, since apparently anything could set him off when it came to Seth in particular.

“I have zero interest, now get out of my way.” Drew said gruffly, he was kind enough to not just shove Seth kid his way the second he opened his mouth. That doesn’t mean he’s out of the water yet.

“No can do my man, I refuse to leave without the two of us at least being frenemies.” Seth breathed out, a hint of a smirk on his mouth, and a gleam of determination in his hazel eyes.

“That’s fine, I can always move you myself.” Drew’s lips stretched into a smile, but it didn’t match the look in his eyes. Seth knew Drew would make this harder than necessary, he was prepared to stand his ground, because he felt it utterly useless for the two of them to fight over a girl that left them both.

“She doesn’t want us fighting Drew.” He called out melodically just as Drew was turning to leave, he paused, he couldn’t just not have anything to say in regards to Desiree. Drew always has an opinion, or a comment about something, it’s unlike him to not say his thoughts out loud.

“Why were you even talking to her in the first place?” Drew asked, that same jealousy he thought he had buried, was slowly bubbling inside of him. He could feel himself burning hot, but he remained calm to the best of his ability.

“You know why, you won’t man up and tell her the truth, so she found someone who will.”

Drew’s eyes snapped downwards at Colby, his icy eyes were like daggers sharp enough to kill as he looked at him. It’s always the same song and dance with you, Seth thought to himself, “you be real careful of your next words, or we’re gonna have a part 5 right here, right now.” He mumbled in a low whisper, his accent making half of that sound like gibberish in Seth’s ears, but he didnt need a translation for the threat he just received.

“C’mon Drew, what did you expect? She was gonna find out every single thing that’s been happening while she was gone. You of all people should know what it feels like to have people say shit about you when you’re not even around to defend yourself.” Seth couldn’t tell by the blank stare if he was penetrating Drew’s cold walls, but all he could do was continue to be honest. “All that aside, I genuinely wanted to apologize, so here it is.” He took a deep breath trying to gather his words, and prepare for Drew to completely reject everything he’s about to say.

“I’m sorry.” Colby unfolded his hands from his chest, then placed a hand to his chest where his heart would be. Drew seemed to have come back to life, and out of his meditation, an expression of shock settled onto his face as Colby continued to speak his apology. “First of all, I lied about those messages she was sending me, that was low, and I knew how much her communication meant to you. I just wanted to make you angry, and embarrass you in front of everyone.” Becky had told Seth months ago to tell Drew the truth, “it’s not just about him, speaking your truth out loud will really take a weight off you never knew you had.” And boy was she right. There was a long pause, it was evident that Drew hadn’t found the words to reply, he had almost forgotten why they had that fight to begin with. Now that he recalls that day, he remembered feeling like someone had shot him in the heart.

“Are you done?” Drew’s voice sounded hoarse, like he hadn’t talked in years, and he was using his vocal chords for the first time.

“Not quite, you know I’ve had feelings for Desiree in the past, and I can assure you it’s not like that anymore. That ship sailed long ago, but can you live with Desiree and I being friends?” Seth held Drew’s unwavering gaze, he hated the idea so badly.

Drew breathed out, at this point he just wanted the conversation to be over so that he could have time to himself. “Listen man, as much as I want to lock Desiree up, and throw away the key…I’m not gonna do that. Everybody loves her, it’s just who she is, if I can share her with millions of strangers, I can share her with family.” His body had relaxed, he had fallen back into his slouching stance, which only shrunk him by a few inches.

“So…frenemies?” Seth asked excitedly, he wiggled happily as he could see Drew breaking that icy exterior of his. Drew took a step forward, his hand out to Seth, and a sly grin on his lips. Seth didn’t hesitate to meet him halfway, satisfied with the way this conversation ended.

“Of course Colby, frenemies it is.” He smiled, but when he didn’t let Seth’s hand go, a chill ran up his spine; when Drew got that murderous stare in his eyes, it’s best to stay out his way. “But if you get my business again, in any way, I will kill you.” And he said it all while smiling still.

“No more trouble from me, scouts honor.” Seth grinned, he held the three finger salute up, Drew rolled his eyes, but finally let Seth go. The two men wordlessly parted ways, there was a pep in Seth’s step after making amends with a long time foe. He didn’t think anything else of it, and went about his night, Drew on the other hand had more thinking to do. He found himself in the men’s locker room, thankfully for him it wasn’t crowded yet. He took a seat near a corner, his elbows digging in his knees, and his palms covering his face.

Desiree’s face came to his mind. Her beautiful deep brown skin, her pretty wide eyes, with chestnut colored irises. Her lips always set in a pout, but boy when she did smile it was bright. He knew it was time to officially ask Desiree to be his girlfriend, they somehow managed to skip over that all this time, but he was going to rectify that. He also had to find a way to permanently end the Mandy situation; she has been extra naggy lately, and there’s only so much he can say to her as a man. Put that on the todo list of ‘things to talk to Desiree about.’ He pulls out his phone to send Desiree a quick message, but she had already texted him.

Deedee: i wanna cook when we get back home! 🩷

His heart fluttered, she had never offered to cook for him before, he’s overheard a lot of her girl friends talk about her cooking, but he’s never had the chance to taste it himself.

Drew: of course whatever you want sweetheart. 🫠

Later that night, after the show, Drew and Desiree finally touched down in Florida by 2 am. Without question they went straight upstairs to the bed after showering, and changing into fresh clothes. They immediately fell asleep, their arms and legs tangled. By the time Desiree woke up, it was well into the afternoon, and when she peeled her eyes open the sunlight burned her eyes. “Ugh.” She groaned rolling over expecting to feel Drew’s large, warm body next to her, but his side of the bed was empty. The strong scent of coffee brought her out of the bed, she followed it all the way downstairs, and into the kitchen.

“You need this.” On cue Drew turned with a cat shaped mug in his hands, her hands sleepily reached for the mug, but he pulled back. “Ah, kiss the chef.” He grinned, his lips already perked, and ready. She didn’t fight him in her groggy state, instead she pecked him on the lips like he requested, and finally she was rewarded.

She took a sip, and then another, “morning.”

“Oh! She’s alive everyone, whew, thought we lost you there for a second.” Drew feigned relief, he fist bumped their tabby, he reached out and tapped his tiny paw to Drew’s large knuckle. “Awe, she’s never been a morning person has she?” He brought her in to him, he pressed a kiss on her forehead, took her mug, and carefully sat it on the counter.

“Can we just stay like this forever?” Her words muffled as her face was pressed into his bare chest, her arms wrapped around his waist, and her full weight leaning against him.

Drew let out a hearty laugh, “I wish princess, but we’ve got adult things to talk about.” His hand placed gently atop her head, the bonnet she put on her head last night undoubtedly ended up on her side of the floor near the bed. Her hair was a mess of coils all over head, which is how he knew she was tired because she didn’t even bother with it this morning.

“Fine, I’ll finish my coffee, and cook while you talk.” She rolled her eyes, pushed away from Drew’s embrace, but made sure to grumpily kiss him on the lips one last time. He thought she was so adorable in the mornings, her face is still puffy, and her grouchy attitude is easily fixed by just letting her be.

Desiree busied herself with the food while Drew just got right to it. “The problem is Mandy Rose—

“That heffa still stalking you?” She cut him off, the stainless steel knife in her hand pointing at his eyes, he gave her a pointed look. “Sorry.” She mumbled, then went back to chopping sweet potatoes, then she drizzled them with olive oil, and threw them in the air fryer. She flipped the burgers in the skillet causing the meat to sizzle, and hiss.

“Yes, she keeps trying to get me to tell you some dark secret I’m apparently hiding but I already told you about…that.” He didn’t meet her sharp stare, he’s not sure if he’ll ever get over the embarrassment of sleeping with Mandy.

“Are you sure that’s all there was?”

“No I swear, not that I can think of.”

“Well you better think harder, because this bitch isn’t playing around, and neither the fuck am I.”

“Damn it Desiree, if I knew I’d tell you!”

“Would you?” Her question was simple, yet loaded. Maybe there was a microscopic part of her that still ached that she went looking for the comfort of another woman simply because she wasn’t available. Truth be told she blamed herself more than anyone else.

“C’mon Dee…it was one mistake, and I’m standing here trying to tell you I want to get rid of her before she ruins my career. Before she ruins us.”

“Drew, I forgive you, I do. And no matter what, I’m on your side. It’s just hard to forget that you did that, especially with her ass prancing around like she’s Santa’s favorite reindeer. Shit, you’re the one with a Criminal Law degree, use it.” Desire held his gaze for a moment longer before putting her focus back on the food. She thought it was pathetic how Mandy practically preyed on Drew while he was weak, but she had no idea how to even help Drew.

“Listen, let’s just try to enjoy our time off for now.” Desiree presented Drew with a steaming plate of food; burgers, sweet potato fries, and onion rings with sriracha and mayo sauce. His troubles were instantly forgotten about, his eyes eating for him, as she pushed the plate in front of him. She joined him after plating her own food, and pouring drinks.

“This is so good.” He moaned, his mouth full of food, and his eyes rolled in the back of his head. Desiree had only managed to eat half her burger and her fries. She enjoyed watching him eat, and enjoyed her food.

“Ouu I was thinking we can go sit on the patio tonight, and enjoy the stars?” She kissed his forehead, already cleaning their plates, Drew damn near licking his clean.

“Sounds good.” He mumbled partly distracted by his phone as he scrolled through twitter, he choked on his spit from the post he keeps seeing as she’s scrolling.

“What is it?” Desire turned, she was washing dishes when she realized he was being way too quiet, his skin looked sickly pale. His body became rigid as he continued to scroll, “Drew.” She called him, but he couldn’t dare move. His body felt like a ton of bricks, all the food he just ate felt like it was about to rush back up. Before he had time to react she had taken the phone from his hands, her eyes flickered over to him for a beat, then back to the phone.

She couldn’t believe what she was watching, “you gotta be fucking kidding?” A three minute and twenty-six second long video of Drew and Mandy in a wedding chapel, in Las Vegas. It was evident that Drew was very drunk, it’s a possibility Mandy was too, but she was more coherent than her groom. She watched in utter horror, and shock as Drew drunkenly said ‘I do Elvis’then hiccuped. Again her emotions were all over the place, mostly she felt rage that Mandy would even do this.

The sound of Drew’s voice made her jump, she had forgotten that he was sitting there. His eyes wet with tears, an expression of distraught, and his voice weak. “My career is over.”

[abiiors]

okay here’s one that i wrote a few days back and i’m not 100% sure about it but you were so sweet and i thought might as well you know :) it’s very sweet (i at least tried to make it that way) and i just really hope he’s feeling better now but here it is!!

when she returned to the bus with george, chatting about just how much reverb is too much for the song they were working on, she immediately heard the curses coming from ross’s bunk. she knew he had a few issues while playing as of recently, her diagnosis being a repetitive strain injury in his arm, but he refused to let anyone help, suffering in silence and trying to teach himself how to use kinetic tape to make it all a bit more bearable. when she moved the curtain of his bunk to the side she saw him sat on his bed, shirt off and trying very hard to wrap his upper arm with kt tape but obviously failing to do so. “ross, stop. if you don’t let me do this i will fight you and i mean that.” the soft, slightly pitiful smile on her face told him otherwise as he looked up. she climbed up into the bunk, the space between the two dangerously small and crammed, but neither seemed to care. she carefully removed the tape that was already on ross’s arm, trying her best to make it as painless as possible, though still earning some curses from ross. she couldn’t help herself from looking at the tattoos that were sprinkled around his arm, adorning his skin and making her wonder about the origins. the one on his shoulder she knew about, she was there when he got it. it was dedicated to a close friend of his that sadly passed a few years back and he decided to commemorate him by getting one of his drawings on his right shoulder. when he went in to get the tattoo he asked her to come with him, at first under the pretence of him not getting bored but deep down he knew that it was because he needed her there to support him. he needed her everytime she wasn’t around because he was deeply in love with her. not that she knew that.

she carefully cut the pieces of tape and started applying them to his skin, pressing down at certain points and asking him to move his arm so that she could create more friction and thus make the tape more effective. ross only watched, careful not to get too affected by her touch. by the time she was done she pressed a kiss on his shoulder and he leaned into her touch, not wanting her to go just yet. “thank you”, he lowly said, careful not to break the tension that had been building up between them. she traced her fingers across the delicate art on his arm, and he let her. he usually hated people touching him like that, in such a vulnerable state, but he did not care with her. in fact, he wanted it; craved it even. at some point he turned around and pulled her into him. she smiled as she laid down on his chest, now tracing along the tattoo on his side, one that she rarely saw. her fingers continued to explore his tattoos, and he closed his eyes, savoring the sensation. “you know, i’ll probably fall asleep if you keep that going, love.” he said, opening his eyes to see her already smiling at him. “and what’s so bad about that?” she asked and he pulled her even closer.

ross wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as if he never wanted to let go. the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her ear was a soothing lullaby, and it didn't take long for the combined warmth and tenderness of their moment to lull them into a state of drowsiness.

as their eyes grew heavy and their breathing slowed, ross whispered, "promise you won't leave, even if I fall asleep."

her heart swelled with affection as she nuzzled closer to him, her lips brushing against his chest as she whispered, "now where else would i go?”, her breath sending shivers down his spine. her closeness was both maddening and comforting, a sweet torture that ross willingly surrendered to.

oh god the YEARNINGGGGGG!!! 😭😩 friends to lovers trope is always just so >>>>>

and also the part about him getting the tattoo was actually so fucking sweet :(( like ngl i have thought about it multiple times about him commemorating a friend in such a heartwarming way 🩷😭

[wosomarvel]

communication - 05

a/n: just some short and fluffy filler. i think we could all use a little bit of fluff right now. everything just feels so heavy at the moment. it's hard to go about my day to day when i know that there are so many people that don't have access to food and water and medication. surgeries happening without anesthesia. and the western world watches. anyway, i hope this gives someone a little reprieve and i hope you guys are staying safe <3.

-----

sim had never considered herself to be an outgoing person. she didn't like noisy environments, flashy lights, or crowded spaces. they made her skin crawl.

which is why she was currently sat down on an uncomfortable plastic chair, wondering why she had ever let ella, alessia, and lotte convince her that she would have a grand time going out to a club with them.

but sim had never been good at saying no, so when the three begged her to come out and make the most of manchester united's road trip to north london, when she saw the pleading look on alessia's face, she had caved. a decision she was now deeply regretting.

sim could feel the thumping bass in her heart. she tried closing her eyes to at least block out one source of stimulation but she could see the lights through the skin of her eyelids.

"sim, come dance, you've been sitting here looking sad all night!"

sim's eyes shot open, falling on ella's poor attempt at puppy dog eyes. sim pressed her lips together in a tight line, her knuckles turning white were they gripped her cane. she could feel a headache creeping in behind her eyes.

"no, thanks, ella. i don't dance." sim was really getting restless now. the feeling of the tags on the shirt she had thrown on almost hurt in a way she couldn't explain.

"oh, come on, don't be a bore. i bet if alessia asked you would join us," lotte snorted from ella's side.

"no, i really don't-"

"just drop it, girls," a familiar soft voice spoke up.

sim turned to see alessia join the group, two glasses of water in hand. she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. she always felt more relaxed around alessia. alessia made sim feel safe.

"come on, less," ella whined. "she won't drink and now she won't dance? we've got to get the kid to live a little!"

sim stiffened. it was true that she refused to drink alcohol. growing up, she'd witnessed the havoc that alcoholism could wreak. she was grateful that her father hadn't been a violent drunk, or even an angry drunk, but she'd seen enough from her cousins, aunts, and uncles to know what that could look like. knowing that alcoholism ran in both sides of her family, she was not willing to take any chances.

of course, sim hadn't mentioned any of this to ella. tooney just thought she was stiff and no fun. sim was completely fine with that.

"alright, tooney, it's time to let it go. you're gonna scare the poor girl away!" lotte chimed in, sensing that maybe this was a bit deeper than she initially thought.

sim relaxed a little, thankful for the relief in the tension she was starting to feel.

"oh, fine, lotte, let's go dance. less, you coming?" ella relented.

"nah," the taller blonde replied. "just gonna chill out for a bit. i'll join you later," she added, placing a hand gently on sim's back.

sim relaxed further, leaning into the warm touch, letting the weight ground her.

"you want to get out of here?"

"no, i'm alright. i might call myself an uber later, but really, i'm okay." the last thing sim wanted to do was make alessia go home when she knew how much alessia had missed ella.

alessia turned sim towards the door, her hand staying in its place on the girl's back, a gentle guide as she walked sim out.

"it's alright, love. you seem off, and i'm starting to get a headache. let's go."

sim's cheeks warmed at the pet name. she and alessia had been dancing around the unspoken feelings between them for months, both of them waiting for the other to broach the topic.

sim had endured endless teasing from millie and rachel during national team camps, and beth made sure to fill the time in between.

unbeknownst to sim, alessia had received the same treatment from ella. at first, the rest of the lionesses had found it amusing how obvious their feelings were to everyone but themselves. as time moved on, it had almost become annoying. they'd hoped the teasing would force one of you into making a move.

so far, no luck.

-----

"so, you want to tell me what had you so shaken up?"

sim and alessia were settled on the coach in alessia's living room, an episode of brooklyn nine-nine playing softly on the television.

"it's stupid," sim muttered under her breath.

"well, how about you tell me and i'll decide if it's stupid," the blonde replied, offering sim her hand when she noticed sim picking at her skin.

sim sighed, starting to play with alessia's fingers. "it's just-" sim stuttered, hesitant.

"go on," alessia prodded gently.

"i have... issues? with sensory overload. and the loud music with all the voices and the flashing lights is a lot. and it was just so crowded and everyone was bumping into me. there was someone beside me with the scratchiest crop top and people were stepping on my feet and- now i'm rambling. just- sometimes there's just so much of everything that it hurts. god, that doesn't even make sense. i know it's stupid and i can't just expect for the world to cater to my needs-"

"hey," alessia interrupted. "stop calling yourself stupid."

sim withdrew her hand from alessia's, looking everywhere but alessia's face.

alessia reached out to pull sim into a hug but hesitated, letting her hand hover just over sim's shoulder. she didn't want to add to whatever sim was feeling.

"can i hold you?" alessia asked, trying to keep her voice as low as possible.

"please," sim whispered.

sim relaxed into alessia's body, letting the warmth and pressure of alessia's arms ground her.

"it's not stupid, love. i'm glad you told me, but i'm sorry if we made you feel like you had to come out with us," alessia murmured into sim's hair.

"it's not your fault that i'm too scared to say no," sim grumbled bitterly. really, sim would prefer to shift the topic away from her inadequacies, but she had a feeling alessia wasn't going to let this one go.

"sim, i'm going to ask you to be a bit nicer to yourself. maybe your boundaries haven't been respected in the past, but i want you to know that that won't happen here. i want you to feel safe in saying no. we can practice setting boundaries, yeah? we're all wired a bit differently. it's okay if you experience sensory overload more than others. if you want to stay in next time, then i'll stay in with you."

sim turned slightly, tucking her face into alessia's chest, the older girl's fingers coming up to rub gentle shapes on the back of her neck.

sim knew she was screwed. alessia was just too perfect. she made her feel okay.

actually, alessia made sim feel more than okay. she made sim feel content, more than she'd ever felt before. she made sim feel like more than just the sum of her past.

for years, sim had felt like she was just wandering aimlessly through the world. frankly, sim found it pathetic how alessia showing her even the most basic level of respect had her feeling like maybe she could belong somewhere.

sim lifted her head from where it was resting on alessia's chest, her brown eyes meeting alessia's blue.

"i always feel safe with you, less," she whispered.

warmth flooded alessia's cheeks as she smiled softly down at sim.

sim found herself frozen, unable to utter a single word.

"can i kiss you?" alessia breathed, trying and failing to keep her voice from wavering and betraying her nerves.

sim didn't trust her own voice so she nodded, not quite believing that smart, intelligent alessia wanted to kiss her.

alessia's free hand came to rest tenderly on sim's cheek, thumb making sweeping motions across the soft skin as she examined sim's face for any sign of hesitation. not finding any, she tilted sim's face up before leaning in to place a gentle kiss to her lips.

it was short and sweet, but conveyed so much emotion and sim tried her best to match what alessia was making her feel.

alessia pulled away after a few seconds, watching in awe as sim's eyes fluttered back open, a smile taking over the younger girl's face.

sim's face flushed at the look of pure adoration on alessia's face. she tucked her face back into alessia's sweater.

"are you getting shy on me?" alessia giggled, placing a soft kiss on the top of sim's head.

sim nodded.

"was that okay?" alessia's voice revealed a hint of insecurity, causing sim to remove her head from its resting place to look up at her.

"it was perfect."

alessia's face broke into a wide grin, arms squeezing sim closer.

"be my girlfriend? i mean, i know usually i'm supposed to ask you on a date first, and of course i want to do that, but i just think because we already know each other so-"

"you want me to be your girlfriend?" sim lifted herself out of alessia's embrace, an incredulous look taking over her face.

"unless you don't want to!" alessia scrambled, eyes wide with sudden panic.

"no, i do, of course i want to be your girlfriend but..." sim trailed off, hand coming up to scratch behind her ear before alessia took it between her own, pressing a kiss to sim's knuckles.

"hey, i told you i want you to feel safe with me. we can take this as slow as you want. can i ask why you're hesitating?"

sim sighed. how had she lucked out like this? alessia was so perfect. but that's where her hesitance stemmed from.

"less, you could do so much better. i- i have a lot of baggage, y'know? and i've never done anything like this before." sim gestured between the two of them as if to emphasize what this was. "i've never been in a relationship before. hell, i've never even kissed anyone before this."

sim was starting to work herself up. the feelings of contentment she had experienced just moments before had disappeared, giving way to exasperation.

who was she kidding? alessia was way out of sim's league.

"can you look at me, sim?"

startled by the unusual use of her name in place of a pet name, sim's eyes shot back to meet alessia's.

"i want you. i am choosing you as you are. baggage or not, inexperienced or not, doesn't matter to me. i want you, exactly the way you are. i wouldn't change a thing."

alessia topped off her statement with a gentle kiss to sim's hairline.

"so, be my girlfriend?"

a dopey smile took over sim's expression.

"of course."

-----

a/n: anyone catch the high school musical and camp rock references?

[aleburton]

xiv. greedy

@fuckzachariah

The sound of her fizzy laughter ricocheted between the walls, accompanied by the tick of her Louboutin heels against marble. She was running, sloshing the high-priced champagne round her coupe cocktail glass. It poured over the rim, trickling over her fingers and the diamond adorned bands that encircled them. What number was this? Three? Four? She had lost count. Another set of footsteps trudged behind, edging inward to close the gap between them. An inked limb wound around her waist, urging her gently into the wall. She was willowy, luxuriating in her insobriety. Alexandra glimpsed upward, a familiar pair of deep, chocolate brown eyes gazing back at her. So much time had passed and yet none at all. She and Zach were seemingly no closer to reconciliation but had successfully established a friendship, or something similar to one. What would you call two former lovers, still deeply enmeshed with one and other, attempting platonic companionships? Delusional? Though she had been given covert permission to move on, she could not. Her heart, still bruised and fatigued from all that had occurred, remained tethered to his and she was unsure if she had any desire to change it.

They understood their limits. Like plucking the pin from a grenade, it would detonate; capable of blowing apart anything and everything in its path. Because they were uncertain if they could survive it, they proceeded with caution. There were moments, however. She could feel Fate’s heavy hand coiling its fingers around her throat, threatening to drag her back from whence she came. Sometimes, she wanted to stop fighting it. Let go. Just be. But that would be selfish. At least, that’s what she told herself to keep from succumbing to her weakness. Stuck in a wretched, romantic purgatory, she resigned herself to harmless taunts and teasing. Isaaq refused to relent on his advances toward her, though not bold enough to act on them in front of the wrong people. Another lovestruck, music heartthrob pining after the disrespectfully beautiful redhead. He did not seem to care that he was jeopardizing his career by toying with something that did not belong to him. An affair that could see him ostracized in an instant. All it would take is a quiet whisper, a rumor to end it all. Just for her.  

Alex blinked; her smile bubbling as it stretched across her face. “What do you want?” A rhetorical question. It was obvious, though she would never turn down the opportunity to hear how badly she was desired. Isaaq lifted an arm, flattening his palm against the wall beside her. He shook his head. His voice was low and hoarse, “Really? You’re just going to keep playing games with me?” Her eyes rolled, feigning ignorance as if she hadn’t spent the last hour pressed against him out on the dance floor. “Because we danced? And now you’re in love with me?” She leaned inward, the scent of sweet champagne and Baccarat Rouge flooding his senses. In that moment, he felt like he was. It was intoxicating. Before she could voice another infuriating insult, he kissed her. Hard. And Alex did nothing to stop him. Her inebriation. Her desperation. It wanted whatever this was. Her hand wrapped around his neck. This simple movement startled her. Perhaps she anticipated the slightly raised outline of angel wings beneath the tips of her fingers. Or arms wrapped tightly around her waist, lifting her to wander her into the closest, dark room with a door. Maybe she was wishing it was Zach.

[garbageforyou]

~Mrs. Han~

A little fanfic about (fem) MC and Jumin going dress shopping.

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 2143

MC brushes her fingers against the fabric of the dress laid out on Jumin’s bed. The itchiness is already calling out to her. It was an…interesting design, to say the least. Particularly not her style, no, definitely not her style. Yet her beloved is staring at her, leaning against the doorframe, waiting to hear her praise at the sight of his surprise gift. He was making it so hard for her to politely decline, but if not an honest woman she was, then what would Jumin be proud of?

“I thought you could wear it to the party.” He began. “It’s tailored to fit your frame perfectly, accentuate your bodice, and these are the latest colors in style, and they would highlight-”

“Ju-ju.” She interrupted. He was always so uniform when he spoke, judging things on how they should be perceived, and not how they actually are. Yes, maybe this shape would fit her frame, but it wouldn’t make her confident, nonetheless, feel anything resembling pretty. She began walking towards him, placing her hands on his chest. She looked up at him, pursing her lips, her eyes cast away from his gaze. 

“What is it?” He asked, gently bringing her face to look at him. 

“It’s not that…” she paused, “I love the gesture, I do. It is so nice, however,” she remembered what Jumin responded best to, and beating around the bush wasn’t anywhere close to that. She finally said, “it’s just not me.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “Alright.” He exhaled, “Explain to me what exactly isn’t ‘you’ about it?”

“The color is just so bright.” She says through a forced smile, squinting her eyes, trying to find anything nice to say but as she walks back over to the dress. She sighs, “the high collar is very old school, not to mention this ruffle of fabric at the waist is unflattering. Don’t get me started on these spur of the moment buttons, tarnished looking. And-” she stops, her eyes catch his.

He smirks, his hands in his pockets as he walks over to her, “Is that all?” 

“I’m sorry, I just can’t wear that to the party.” She sits on the bed, her face in her hands, muttering “Oh god, I sound so snobby and ungrateful.”

Jumin sits next to her on the bed, his hand on her thigh as he leans to grab her attention, “You know what you want and you're honest about it, there is nothing shameful about that. It's what I admire most about you.”

“Being honest is hard when you’re a people pleaser.” She looks up at him, smiling as she moves her hair out of her face. “How do you do it so easily?”

He sighs, relaxing back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, she follows suit. “The only person I aim to please is you.” He turns to her and seeing her face meet him in that moment makes him realize something.

He stares back up at the ceiling, running a hand through his hair as he ponders, listening to the creak of the mattress as MC twists and turns on the bed, holding herself up on her elbow, her other hand grabbing onto his hand draped over his abdomen. 

“I need to learn more about your likes,” he says. “Perhaps a shopping trip would help atone for my mistake?”

“Oh, Jumin, it wasn’t your mistake. I’m just-” she is stopped by him grabbing her face, he squeezes her gently and she breathes deeply. 

“Let me take you out. Can I at least do that?” He asks, his gray eyes locking onto her.

“Okay.” She agrees, because how could she no when he was looking up at her like that?

~~~

MC watches as Jumin picks out the most conservative designs, dresses that cover head to toe, no skin exposed, designs that could easily date all the way to the 1800s. She politely declines them, telling Jumin to trust her judgment and she’ll seek his approval when the time comes. Jumin wore the same thing everyday, refusing to change, although every once in a while he might sport a dashing cashmere vest, maybe even venture into some sweatpants just for her. When it came to what she wanted, she sat his cute little tush in a chair while she continued looking, and he was content with just that, so long as he could call this “being a good boyfriend.” 

Jumin is sat down outside the fitting rooms, checking emails on his phone, when all of a sudden he hears the shutting of one of the doors. 

“MC?” He calls out, straightening up in his seat, putting down his phone. He tilts his head to the side, noticing familiar feet peeking through the bottom opening of a door.

“It’s a surprise!” She calls out. He hears the shuffling of fabric and the unzipping of clothes. The ones she once wore now fell to the floor with a slight thump. The sleek black heels of Ms. Jeanne, the fitting room attendant, alongside her, clacking a constant movement as she moseyed around MC. Jumin’s face caught heat as he averted his eyes to what he could only think was: MC is undressing.

Such a boyish thought, he berated himself. He was a proper gentleman, he would not think improper thoughts at the most innocent act of getting changed. He leaned back in his chair, pulling out his phone again, set on his mind refusing to wander as he studied the most recent report Assistant Kang forwarded. 

Suddenly, the click of the hinges, and the squeak of the door. He peered up as MC sheepishly walked out in an elegant, black gown that touched the floor. Gold shimmered alongside the pattern, the dress cinched to fit her frame with clips in the back, a note to be altered in tailoring later. However, the sweetheart curves of the top that hugged her breasts and the chiffon sleeves that draped, altogether was a vision to be seen. Enough to be alluring but not enough to be promiscuous for eyes other than him to behold of such radiance. She was a sight, one that words could not follow, leaving him, mouth agape as he ogled. 

Ms. Jeanne clasped her hands together, clearing her throat, “I must step out for a moment, please excuse me. Spin around dear, make sure you really like it and I’ll be back for the measurements” She exited the room, leaving Jumin silently observing MC as she did a half twirl in the elongated mirror. 

“Do you like it?” She asked him, turning around to face him. A sudden wave of self consciousness washed over her as she began to doubt her choice, crossing her arms over her chest, his silence was deafening. 

Jumin stood from his chair, his hands reached out to unwrap her arms, placing them back by her side. He intermingled with the features of her delicate hands, interlocking with them once he met her eyes. 

“You’ve rendered me speechless, yet again. You’re beautiful.” His voice was hush, huskier as it lowered. When he called her beautiful, it never grew old, simply kept her youthful as butterflies waved in the pit of her stomach. 

“Yeah?” She breathed, biting her lip, a gleeful expression sauntered her lips.

“Yeah.” He repeated, assured. His lips parting as he leaned closer, his eyes drifting close as did hers. 

“Oh my!” A female voice sputtered, immediately altering the moment as Jumin and MC tensed, jolting from one another to regain their composure. “I am so sorry. I did not intend to intrude on your privacy.”

“It’s alright, Ms. Jeanne.” Jumin chuckled, this had become a new occurrence for them, redhanded everywhere they went. One that left him giddy like a schoolboy being caught in the same predicament. 

He clears his throat, “I believe this is the dress, unless,” he looks to MC, “I am mistaken?”

“Uh, no, yes, this is…” she smooths out the crinkles in the dress, “This is the dress.” 

“Wonderful! Now let’s see…” Ms. Jeanne rushes over, pulling out a measuring tape, scribbling down MC’s measurements on a scrawny notepad. She clicks her pen as a sign of completion. “We’ll get to work right away, Mrs. Han.” The clicking of her heels stay fast paced as she exits.

MC’s eyes widen, “Huh.” 

Jumin looks at her, “Huh?”

She smiles widely, a blush creeping on her cheeks, “Mrs. Han.” She repeats, shrugging her shoulders. “You know, me, Mrs. Han.” She bats her hand.

“Does that bother you? I will see to it that it won’t happen again if it does.” Jumin asks, concern frames his face, unbeknown to MC’s antics. 

“Can you remove these clips and unzip me?” She asks, ignoring his concern. She turns her back toward him, feeling his hands slowly tug at the fabric. “No one’s ever called me Mrs. Han before.”

“If it bothers you, my love, I will correct-” Jumin starts.

“No, no. I like it.” She says, her head turned over her shoulder to catch a glimpse at him. Silence followed and Jumin’s hands stopped, slowly retracting from her. Her dress felt looser, a chill running along her exposed back. She turned around to face Jumin, the silence eating away at her. She didn’t realize how close he was, it startled her, grabbing onto his shoulders to keep her balance. At a closer look at him, she could tell he was thinking, calculating, analyzing, she knew those threads could get tangled easily. It was her job to untangle them, not create more messes. 

“Jumin, I didn’t mean anything serious about it. I was just playing around.” She spoke, but that was a lie. She didn’t necessarily mean ‘drop down on your knees with a ring’ kind of serious, but she did mean she wanted it someday, to have his name, to be the “Mrs's”, to be the wife he would rush home to see, to be his wife. Those cloudy eyes stayed out of focus, lost somewhere else. She brushed her hand on his face, his eyes fluttered to her, a soft smile forming on his lips.

 “What are you thinking about?” She asked softly.

“Those tiny towels that say Mr. and Mrs. at the front of the store.” He started and she let out a chuckle.

“Wha-why are you-what made you think of that?” She asked, humorously. “Because of…”

“I like the sound of it. Only when it comes to you, Mrs. Han.” He smiles, his nose brushing against her. “There have been many women who foolishly refer to themselves as that because of my father, but hearing you referred to as Mrs. Han…It fills me with excitement at the thought that one day, with your permission, it should be a normal occurrence.” He says, his hand trailing along the exposed skin on her back, sending tingles down her spine. 

MC slowly back away from him, a playful smile on her face, “Well, Mr. Han, when do you see this becoming a ‘normal occurrence’?” She asks, raising an eyebrow, slowly backing against the fitting room door.

“Well, Mrs. Han…” he starts, his eyes narrowing as he slowly moves towards her. He places his hand on the door behind her, leaning into her. “Just say the word, you know I’ll give it to you.” 

Her eyes widen at his choice of wording, her face beaming red, unable to handle the sensual position that has taken place with the beautiful Jumin Han leaning over her. 

“Um…um…I don’t really know, it’s up to you…” she’s stuttering as she admires him, and yet he’s calm, cool and collected. 

“Maybe you need to hear the name a couple more times, just to be sure.” He says, leaning down to kiss her. She eagerly awaits the feeling of his lips on her but he comes across her cheek, softly breathing, “Mrs. Han.” He kisses along her jawline, whispering again, “Mrs. Han.”

“I knew it! You were paying attention to Pride and Prejudice yesterday.” MC says, smugly.

“Am I doing it right?” He asks, softly.

“Oh, Mr. Han, you’re doing everything right.” She replies, earning an earnest smile from her Mr. Han. He leans down, finally kissing her lips,  a delightful little chirp from her escapes. She grabs at his tie, tugging on it, opening the door behind her as she pulls him inside with her.

“Mrs. Han, did you need any assistance in there? With the dress, I mean?” Ms. Jeanne’s voice calls from outside the fitting room. MC and Jumin giggling, shushing each other.

“No ma’am… Mr. Han’s got it all under control in here…with the dress, of course! He’s helping me with the dress!” MC shouts, trying to hold in her laughter. “I’ll be out in a minute!”

Jumin places his hands on her waist, pulling her closer, “Where were we again, Mrs. Han?” 

[seldaryne]

overall i think i enjoy the multiple protag au stuff even if it's making me go back and forth on some of my preferred worldstate choices.

however, it also kind of makes that decision for me in some areas i think?

in general, the characters i've ran so far & have been the loudest in my head, don't neglect that part lmfao have tended to stray more to the side of letting shadowheart's parents die in her personal quest. she's ended up leaving shar each time, yeah, but that's been consistent. with haelryne, she felt so weird about overstepping like that. her personal relationship with her parents is... pretty fine? but as a general rule i think she's someone who leans towards a more hands-off approach with everyone's choices. yes, she's got opinions & will voice them if appropriate, but she's acutely aware that it's Not her or her life & she doesn't entirely trust that she can have some of those opinions with her context as an outsider. she's not part of that family, how is she supposed to form a rebuttal when they ask shadowheart to let them die?

velrith is kind of the same, except oh my God the choice paralysis in this moment. absolutely insane. because up until then she's been relying heavily on her oath & if not that, pure pragmatism. usually a combination of the two. but this feels like a no-win situation to her & it's not one that's covered by either of her typical decision-making mechanisms. she's also personally just got a lot of baggage surrounding family, despite not remembering it actively or being aware of it (something about cell memory or stains on the soul, take your pick). she also feels deeply out of her element here & can't even begin wrapping her head around a choice like this. because letting the die for the sake of freeing her friend from shar makes sense to her! they're telling shadowheart to do it & it seems to come from a place of love, she can see that her mother is actively deteriorating, and it also takes care of that wound on her hand. but she doubts herself, because she can also see how emotionally taxing this is even if she lacks that frame of personal reference & that feels bad. maybe the logical choice on paper isn't actually What she should allow here, even if it seems to be better on an individual level...? she killed her parents, even if it was compelled out of her. she doesn't think this should be up to her & ultimately finds that she's unable to say anything at all.

and then tertiary to all that, you have ashlanna, who is Fully acting on a selfish impulse when she's like '??? are you serious? get them Down we can solve your hand later, i refuse to believe there isn't a loophole & it's not worth letting them go after everything in your life you've suffered.' like. she loves shadowheart & yes she is notably vain & selfish and doesn't apologize for this, but she's also surprisingly family-oriented. she loves her own father so damn much & wouldn't hesitate or feel the need to ask the audience if she were in shadowheart's position. it seems like a no-brainer & i honestly can't see her being able to keep quiet while this conversation was happening. unlike the others, she's not hung up on making choices for other people; she runs theatrical productions on a regular basis. if she's not in charge, she's probably incapacitated because other people simply Cannot get anything right, not without heavy guidance from her anyway. which absolutely Can get annoying at times & i think there's probably also a part of shadowheart that's even miffed in the moment but also like. thank god for Someone at least feeling an appropriate amount of 'what the Fuck?' towards the whole thing & sure yeah maybe she's smug about what she did but it's coming from a loving place.

so i think yeah this is definitely something that changes wildly depending on who's there. sometimes you need your unhinged theatre girlfriend to cut you off mid-sentence to shake you out of your emotional ruminating, consequences of your actions be damned.

[alirhi]

If ever there was a perfect piece of media, it's Black Sails.

The queer rep! The poly rep! The fully believable character motivations and development! The open and unashamed worship of partners and their prowess! Honestly the delightfully snarky dialogue is totally secondary to LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE.

The way Jack swells with pride while watching Anne fight. The way hardened fighters have no issue expressing their love for their friends. There is no separation between masculinity and emotion. Flint is allowed to grieve, though he doesn't allow himself to. Silver is encouraged to lean on the men after he loses his leg, although again he refuses to. He opens up about his trauma and fear, and is never punished or mocked for it. Flint tells him about his gay lover, and Silver never judges the relationship itself, never makes an issue of their queerness, only focuses on the disturbing pattern of people who care about Flint coming to untimely ends.

The women are strong and competent and while those who don't know them are sexist assholes, the ones who do always know better than to underestimate them (with the notable exception of poor Charles, but he never doubts Eleanor's strength or intellect, he's just blinded by his love for her into thinking he can trust her). Whenever their gender is made an issue, it's clearly framed as someone being a total asshole, not somehow being right. Pirate crews are stronger for having Anne Bonny among them. Whatever side Eleanor decides to align herself with at the time often has a distinct advantage, or at least are saved a humiliating sweeping defeat thanks to her knowledge. Max is amazing. Cunning and shrewd but never letting the world she lives in - that she's often running - harden her. She loves deeply and it never weakens her. She's allowed by the narrative to not only be highly intelligent and devious, but to also be hurt and cry and be a person.

No character is perfect. None of them are painted as The Infallible Good Guy. They're all flawed and have questionable at best morals and they're all selfish and driven by different things and they're all so human.

The show didn't end abruptly with no resolution or drag on too long and become stale and boring. It was a perfect prequel to Treasure Island that established all the players involved and how they got to where they were, and it did so over time, not clumsily dumping a whole backstory on us all at once.

Superb writing and acting. Absolutely delicious.

[kagedbird]

TESSDE AU (+ Lucia :]) (Lucia part 12)

Lucien: *knocks on Allora's door, carefully opening it to peek in* Umm... Allora? May I... come in?

Allora: *drowsily waking up from her impromptu nap with Lucia, looking over to him* hmm...?

Lucien: *winces, quickly stepping in and closing the door* Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you...

Allora: S'fine. C'mere. You okay?

Lucien: *sighs, walking over and gently sitting on the edge of the bed, maintaining distance from Lucia and her* Not... quite.

Allora: *nods, breathing in deeply to brace herself for the upcoming conversation* You wanna stay?

Lucien: *blinks, looking at her in surprise* Pardon?

Allora: *stretches a little, sighing* Lucia told me Taliesin gave you an ultimatum. Stay or go. Are you staying?

Lucien: *clenches his hands tightly, looking about ready to cry* Please don't make me choose.

Allora: *shakes her head tiredly, carefully sitting up to avoid waking Lucia* Lucien-

Lucien: No- please. My mother and father are quite upset, they want nothing more than to apologize for everything that's happened. I want to as well. I care for you so much, but they're the people who raised me! I can't pick between you!

Allora: *sighs* I don't want to make you. But how many apologies will keep happening? How many times will Lucia have to worry about losing another mom? She shouldn't have to be dealing with this. I have to think about her. She's concerned about the people raising her.

Lucien: Does she- does she want me to stay here too?

Allora: None of us want you to stay behind. You know I love you. She absolutely wants to you come with us. She loves you too, you're her father.

Lucien: One of.

Allora: *narrows her eyes* Correct. And yet she begged to understand if everything would be okay, pleaded to not have you leave us. She doesn't want us to be separated, and she hates every bit of what's happening. It doesn't matter to her that she has three other fathers. She cares about you.

Lucien: ...

Allora: *sighs, shaking her head* It's not up to me what happens here.

Lucien: It's always up to you!

Allora: Lucia and I were both put in danger. Kaidan and Taliesin will refuse anything I have to say, if I even wanted to stay. Which, I don't.

Lucien: Please- just give them one last chance! I- I can't lose you! And I don't want this to hurt them!

Allora: ... *notices Lucia's cracked open eyes, knowing she was listening in* ...If they try to buy my forgiveness, we leave immediately.

Lucien: B-buy?

Allora: Offer gifts, flowery things, or offer monetary compensation- I don't want it. I want a genuine apology. I want to see them actually remorseful. If I can see that, then... I'll do what I can.

Lucien: *reaches to her hands, teary eyed and relieved* Thank you- thank you. Pl-please, let me be the first- I am so sorry for everything that's happened. This was meant to give you time from stresses back home and- I've just been ruining it left and right, and it was never my intention. I'm so sorry, Allora. Truly.

Allora: *gently pulls him forward and bumps her forehead against his, sighing* Thank you. I know you never meant to hurt me, or risk Lucia. And I know this is a rough place for you to be in. I don't know what I would choose if I were in your place. So... I get it. I forgive you.

Lucien: *wraps his arms around her and hugs her close, sniffling quietly* I'm so sorry...

Allora: Shh... we're okay, love. We'll be okay. Whatever happens, I love you.

Lucia: *clenches her hands into the blanket, trying hard to not cry* ...mama? Papa?

Allora: *smiles down at her, pulling her close into a group hug* Hey bug.

Lucien: *sniffles, pulling Lucia close* I'm- I'm really sorry Lucia. I'll be a better father for you, I promise.

Lucia: *burrows into Lucien's side* You're all ready a good papa. I love you. Are you- are you going to leave?

Lucien: *shakes his head, hugging her tight* No, Lucia. I'm not leaving you. Okay? We'll make this right, I promise.

Lucia: *leans into him and smiles hopefully up at Allora* Okay. Thanks papa.

[jordcnwiggins]

Task 01. Character Arc & Development

What does your character want (their goal or challenge)?

To finally prove to the world (aka herself) that she has value outside of being a Wiggins. She wants to prove that not only can she be a successful business owner on her own merit, but that she is a valuable addition to this town for reasons other than her last name.

What are their external needs/desires?

She needs to find a way to buy out The Wang's from Everything Goes. Jordan also probably needs to go to therapy to figure out how she can find her worth outside of what value she brings to the friendships and relationships in her life.

What or who stands in their way and could stop them?

There's always the risk that the Wang corporation could decide to buy her out before she is able to buy them out and this would mean losing the business. But she also stands in the way of herself not finding her value in what she brings to the table. By not letting herself be vulnerable, or leaning too heavily on those around her, they can never show her that they care about her even when she's not giving back to them.

What will they do about it?

As it is right now, she's going to eventually burn out. If she doesn't do anything to change, she is going to over extend herself with trying to do everything she can to get complete ownership of her cafe and giving too much to those around her in a desperate attempt to keep them around.

What happens if they fail? 

If she fails, she could potentially lose Everything Goes all together and she could face extreme burn out.

What sacrifices might they have to make?

Her need to be 'valuable,' her pride/sense of identity.

What motivates them inwardly and why?

Helping her friends, and Salt Flats, be the absolute best they can be. She believes in the people she cares about so deeply that she will do whatever she can to help them. Same goes for the town she's lived and grown up in.

What is their internal struggle?

Self worth, the belief that because she's a Wiggins, everyone around her expects something from her or is judging her for being a Wiggins.

What are their flaws? How do their flaws play into their internal struggle?

Refuses to show vulnerability, plays everything she struggles with off as 'not a big deal,' doesn't set good boundaries, will drop everything she's doing when a friend needs something. All of these are how she proves her self worth/value outside of her family name, but what happens when she's so burned out that she can't do any of these things anymore?

What fundamental changes do you want to see in your character?

I want to see her not only grow to stand on her own two feet, but to feel confident enough in herself that it doesn't bother her if people think of her as just another Wiggins, where she knows her worth outside of what she can do for people.

 What heroic qualities must emerge for them to succeed?

Self confidence/love, acceptance, inner peace

[depressedhatakekakashi]

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

23. What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

For yua and sakumo please

How do they say ‘i love you’ non-verbally

Yua has her tap, which she uses for anyone she cares deeply for (Sakumo, Kakashi, Mifune, Tsunade etc). Which is when she pokes the side of the other person’s head with two fingers. A silent ‘i love you’ or ‘pay attention’

Sakumo has hugs. He loves to give Yua hugs from behind and hold her tight while she leans into his body. It’s what he does most of the time but especially when he’s too tired to speak. Otherwise he loves telling her how much he loves her

How do their personalities affect their relationship?

Their personalities compliment each other a lot.

Sakumo loves that Yua doesn’t beat around the bush and says how she’s feeling straight up. His only problem is that when she’s upset she tends to hide it away and refuses to acknowledge it until it all boils over into a break down, but they’re both willing to work on that together. Yua never had an outlet before so it’s hard for her to understand that she’s allowed to be upset.

On the other side, Yua loves Sakumo’s kindness and dedication. She finds it sweet that he’s this big tough shinobi known around the world for his skill, but at the same time he’ll cave to anything their son wants and is always trying to be as nice as possible to everyone in the village. He’s such a people pleaser that he wants to do everything perfectly, including his missions,

What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

Soft and sweet but dorky. Yua let’s her soft side show with Sakumo in a way it really doesn’t with others. She allows herself to be sweet and loving with Sakumo, and maybe a little bit dorky. Kakashi calls them ‘grossly loving’ and he would be right a out that.

[konohamaru-sensei]

Ranger Reject!!! Please, I desire this knowledge!

My file started for everything Ranger Reject with Sayuri in there. Have many thoughts, but only wrote down a little angsty stuff so far.

In this AU Sayuri is a sort of delinquent, but since she lives in the slums she doesn't really have a choice, but to fight her way through to survive. When she meets Sousei she doesn't know who he is since shes been raised without a TV present (no money). They have a very biting relationship plus they really revel in beating other people up. Genuinly makes them hot.

Ok, I know Q probablly doesn't care, but for others passing by there are legti major plot spoilers hinted at under this cut so if you wanna read Ranger Reject / Go go loser ranger with pure eyes you should not check (and I recommend you do, because its awesome)

so explaination: for one reason or another sousei has only a bit of his memories, i dont wanna spoil the real big twist here but he did have amnesia for a bit. ill say nothing else.

_ “Should I cut your hair? You barely can see out of your eyes now.” She offers it in a tone of generosity, as if he should be thankful that she would think about the possibility of helping him for something.

Sousei pinches his nose. His hair does hang annoyingly into his face and he can’t remember it having ever been this long. But then again, he doesn’t remember much of his life anyway. “No,” he says, not  because he doesn’t want her to do it, but because he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of wanting her to do it. 

Theirs is a relationship of small wins and if she’d cut his hair, it would be her win and no way he’d let that happen.

“Fine, then enjoy not seeing anything”, Sayuri throws herself down next to him. The loud noise is probably audible in the room below them. 

Her manners are so bad, he wrinkles his nose. She knows that making noise on the roof of this very small, shabby house would be audible inside and that the others are sleeping and yet she still does it.

“Guess your parents never raised you right”, he finishes his thought out loud and almost laughs when he sees the black eyed stare that she gives him in reply. He counts it as his win that he made her mad.

“You know my brother raised me,” she grumbles. 

Of course he knows. Still, it’s always fun to see the way she frowns when he makes her say it out loud. Maybe it’s a little cruel, but when Sousei was young he was told you have to tease what you like, so he is half sure it’s ok.

The stars are visible from the slums, even with the lights of the city in the back. Sousei wonders about the impostor that acts on his behalf and how much he would love to sleep in a bigger bed, with more pleasant companions, preferably female, right now. But he can’t even really remember living in the city, not in the way it looks like anyway.

Then his eyes wander to Sayuri. “A keeper killed him right? Your brother?” He asks though he knows the answer.

She sighs. “Yes. I’ve told you that 10 times.” She has. They dragged her brother away from her in the early days of the invasion. They needed him for something, they had said and when he refused to leave her alone they hit him, hard. Sayuri had only been around 10 back then.

Sousei takes his eyes away from her. “Do you know which colour it was?”

“Red.”

He breathes out deeply. 

That could spell problems in the future.

“Why?” Sayuri asks and as he turns his face he realises she is only a few inches away from him. That makes him feel a little fuzzy, but he finds his personality again.

“I heard he is the most handsome,” he grins. “All the girls want him.”

Sayuri’s face sours and she moves backwards again and though he’d wanted her to give him more space, now part of him wishes she’d come back.

“I don’t know how he looks like,” she grinds her teeth together. “He is some kind of celebrity in the city, I am told, but I have never been there to see him.”

Sousei leans fully back on the tiles of the roof, the hair tickling on his nose. 

Lucky.