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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Difficult Recovery

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: T Warning: Poor mental health Description: Jamie's recovery after a twelve-day coma is off to a difficult start that concerns her friends and the medics.

Combining @marchofpain Day 1; depression. Day 3; apologies. Day 4; Self-inflicted. Day 5; anxiety. Day 7; "I love you.'

Word spread around the base that Jamie was going through a moderate flare-up and knew the chance she could decline. Everyone worried about that happening and her guardians' mental health. Only a few know Jamie's ordeal before her arrival in the medbay. Drift didn't want to tell anyone else. Despite his reluctance, Crosshairs and the medics extracted the information from him. It was Crosshairs who suggested notifying the terror twins and Lightning. This surprised Drift, considering how much Crosshairs wants to protect his sister from what the two deal with.

The five friends and three medics notice that Jamie's behavior during her recovery differs. "She's never been depressed like this during recovery," Ratchet tells the terror twins and Lightning, "a little knowing we watched her in a coma, but not like this." "How likely does she remember what happened before she ran off from Drift?" Crosshairs asks. "It's possible. Jamie knows she had Drift worried when she ran off. Add he found her unconscious." "As if she wasn't struggling with depression already," Lightning sighs. "I think it's best he work with her alone," Jolt suggests, "he knows what he needs to do. Unless Jamie wants her friends with her." The three medics return to their offices. The four friends sit in the hallway, hoping Jamie isn't being difficult with Drift.

Drift worries about Jamie's depression. Knowing this is not typical. He sits on the chair, holding Jamie who leans on him. Do I ask if she remembers what happened? Drift wonders. If she does, I'll upset her further. He lies Jamie on the mat and stretches her legs. Knowing this alone won't be sufficient for her to regain strength. Even while it's only been three days since he started doing therapy with Jamie, Drift worries the lack of effort will impact her recovery. He hates seeing the depression in her eyes.

As the four friends stand, Drift walks out carrying Jamie, who is asleep. They wait in the hallway as he puts her to bed in her in-patient room. "You guys don't have to be sitting here," Drift tells them. "That bad?" Lightning asks. "Recovery brings a slight depression, but not like this. It is concerning that Jamie refuses to do therapy." "This is bad, but what can we do?" Sideswipe asks. "I don't know. It's bad enough Jamie's depression got to where she tried to self-harm in secret, now this," Drift sighs. "How easy can therapy be like playing?" Sunstreaker asks, "I know, weird question since Jamie is an adult, but I think that'll help her." "Maybe," Drift tells him. The five go talk to Ratchet.

Ratchet is unsure of Sunstreaker's idea but trusts the five friends to be careful. The five friends make a plan. They are aware of the indicators of an unsuccessful plan. They all worry about Jamie's recovery.

The friends keep the plan simple. Sideswipe wanted to get Jamie to chase him aware she’d be in the gate trainer, but the others don’t think it’s a good idea yet. The plan is simple. Drift has Jamie sit on the floor. He sits behind her, but doesn’t have to support her. He shows her the ball. The six friends know it’s not the therapy Jamie needs, but they hope this will get her to cooperate and allow the therapy she needs to be a game like Sideswipe is thinking.

Jamie cries not long after Crosshairs, Lightning and the twins walk in. “Out,” Crosshairs whispers to the others. He leaves the room with Lightning and the twins.

The five friends acknowledge the unfavorable situation. Drift isn’t sure what to do as he hugs Jamie. “What happened?” Ratchet asks. “Jamie,” Crosshairs replies, “she realized Drift, and I told Lightning and the twins what happened, but I think she feels more guilt about what happened.” “You better go in there,” Lightning insists. “No, not this time. I’ll wait out here.” Lightning sighs, “ok, come on, you two. No point staying here.” The terror twins and Lightning walk down the hall. Crosshairs stands across the hall to ensure Drift knows he didn’t leave. Having been used to helping Drift calm Jamie, Crosshairs struggles to wait.

Drift was hoping Crosshairs would come back, but he understands why Crosshairs thinks he needs to deal with this alone. “I’m sorry,” Jamie cries. “Shh, it’s ok.” What else do I say? Drift questions as he rubs Jamie’s back. I already told her how much I worry about her. What good is repeating myself?

Crosshairs wasn’t expecting Drift to walk out shirtless or for Jamie to be asleep. “That bad?” “Take her to her room.” Crosshairs takes Jamie from Drift. He watches Drift walk down the hall, worried about him and Jamie.

Crosshairs sits on the chair, holding Jamie. Not ready to lie her in bed. “I hate how you don’t feel loved,” Crosshairs sighs, “the feeling it’s impossible to help you.” “You know most humans would find this odd?” Ratchet asks. “Only if they knew Jamie was an adult, but I don’t care. As humans don’t care about mental health. I know Cybertronians aren’t perfect either, but we’re better than humans.” Ratchet looks at the sleeping femme, worried about her recovery and her mental health beyond recovery. Things are getting more complicated and terrifying. Ratchet thinks as he goes to his office.

Ten minutes pass before Drift walks in wearing a shirt. Drift didn’t think Crosshairs would be holding Jamie. “I’m sorry, I thought you two should talk alone,” Crosshairs says. “I don’t think you would have been helpful. Jamie remembers what happened before she ran off. I suspect she believes we told Lightning and the twins. She knows we’d tell them she’s in the medbay. I don’t think that would upset her.” “This is terrifying. I’m so tired of watching her hurt and there’s nothing we can do. If we didn’t find her on time, she would have died.” “Come on, she’ll be asleep for a couple of hours.” While he doesn’t want to leave Jamie alone, knowing Drift isn’t worried, reassures Crosshairs. He lies Jamie in bed and the two leave the room. They tell the medics they’re leaving for a while.

After three weeks of therapy, Jamie has almost regained her strength. Ratchet discharges her from the medbay. Jamie can complete the rest of her therapy in the training room. Jamie’s mental state remains a concern about the fine line between keeping her safe and causing Jamie to feel like a prisoner.

“So what do we do?” Crosshairs asks Drift. “I fear we need to watch her constantly, but that could add more problems.” “I can’t believe this,” Crosshairs sighs, “this is terrifying.” the two look at their sleeping friend, “it doesn’t help that part of her poor thoughts are Self-inflicted, but that’s adding to what she’s told.” The two hug each other, hating how things are turning out. They have little hope that things will get better for Jamie.

Jamie is certain Optimus found out what she did before Crosshairs and Drift found her. She's afraid he'll tell her she can't come to the dimension. Jamie also worries about what her friends think. Unknown to her, Crosshairs and Drift notice her anxiety. "Come here," Drift says and picks Jamie up. Jamie cries; Drift can feel her trembling. He feels her heart and the accelerated heart rate. The two mechs figure out the cause of Jamie's anxiety attack. They don't have to say anything to each other to know what to do. Drift tries to lie Jamie on the bed, but she holds onto him, which she's never done before. He slowly lies on his bed with her. Crosshairs waits to lie next to Jamie. The two watch the anxiety attack worsen, but they didn't expect it to result in a rare symptom; a seizure. "Frag, this isn't good," Drift worries, "this and what I suspect she's thinking to cause all this."

They knew Jamie would be out of it once the seizure ends, and they want to keep her calm. The two lie on the bed with Jamie lying on Drift. They aren't sure if they like how easily they figured out what caused Jamie's anxiety or not. Knowing the issue with how to resolve the issue.

Within ten minutes, Jamie is asleep. Drift lies her on the bed. He didn't think Crosshairs would cover her with his trench coat. "So….?" Crosshairs trails off. "I don't know. This is bad. I worry that having Optimus come talk to her will result in a repeat of what just happened, but this needs to be dealt with." Crosshairs hugs Drift, uncertain what to say. The two don't want to tell their friends what happened, but they know they need someone in the room, even if Jamie will be asleep for a while.

Lightning worries about Crosshairs and Drift's anxiety. It is obvious something happened, but she will not ask what. This can't be good if they're worried about talking to Ratchet and Optimus. Lightning observes. She sits on Crosshairs' bed, worried about what has made the two mechs anxious and whether Jamie being asleep has anything to do with it.

"This isn't good," Optimus sighs, "we worry about causing Jamie to feel like a prisoner here while trying to keep her safe, but feeling like she will not be allowed here…" The four make a plan, hoping to prevent another anxiety attack.

Optimus waits until after dinner to talk to Jamie. Crosshairs and Drift take her upstairs to their bedroom. Jamie is still tired from the earlier events to question why the three aren't following the usual routine. Lightning, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker know what is going on. Crosshairs and Drift thought Jamie would be too tired to be afraid to see Optimus, but Jamie is still anxious seeing the Autobot leader walk into the room. This hurts Optimus to see this in addition to knowing what she did before Crosshairs and Drift found her. He sits next to Drift and takes Jamie's hand. Crosshairs sits on the coffee table. "You're staying here," Optimus says, "I am worried about you, but I know home is not a great place for you. Even while I worry about keeping you safe here." Optimus isn't sure what else to say. He moves Jamie onto his lap and hugs her. The three didn't think Jamie would fall asleep. Drift takes Jamie and puts her to bed. "I know here would be considered a terrible place, especially when she can get into the weapons room," Optimus says, "but everyone knows how bad things are in Jamie's dimension. She has friends here who care about her. This is a complicated situation." "It's terrifying," Crosshairs tells him. Optimus doesn't mention how worried he is about the two mechs. He leaves the room. Crosshairs and Drift watch TV for a while, hoping to relax, before going to bed.

After the events of the past six weeks, Drift wants to plan a day with Jamie. He thinks Jamie would benefit from a day with friends, but currently, he desires alone time with her. While Crosshairs has been encouraging Drift to plan these days, he's concerned about Drift's mental state.

"… I don't know if I'm overthinking it or not," he tells Rung while in Rung's office, "but with Jamie's mental health declining and Drift's isn't great either, add Jamie's reasons for not saying she and Drift are together, I don't know if a day together is a good idea." "I know you worry about your friends. That you asked for an appointment to see me also tells me how worried you are. You are also right that it's good that the two are doing things together. KnowingIt's if that'll help Jamie is hard, but it's a good idea. As for Drift's plan now, it's hard to know if he'll be ok, but I wouldn't discourage his plan. You might only anger him." The room is quiet. Crosshairs contemplates, despising the psychiatrist's accuracy about what will happen if he talks to Drift. Even though the two are friends.

Crosshairs sits at a table in the courtyard, struggling to relax. He is unaware of a few soldiers who walk by him. Having seen Crosshairs often with Drift and Jamie, they worry about seeing him sitting alone.

"So this is where you have been," Crosshairs hears Drift before seeing his friend sit across from him, "you have soldiers worried about you, and you had to talk to Rung. I know you are worried, but you never talk to Rung." Crosshairs knows Drift hates when he lies about being ok. "I'm worried about you being alone with Jamie. Both of you are struggling mentally. I worry while we're with friends, but…" Crosshairs can't believe he's afraid to finish his thoughts. Drift moves to sit beside Crosshairs and hug him. "I know you worry about Jamie and me. I worry about you, and we know she worries about us. I want to be with her alone. I'll be ok. You don't have to have Mirage spy on us." "I would not do that." Drift laughs, "I know you wouldn't. I think Mirage would refuse if you asked him." Drift tells Crosshairs the plan. Due to Jamie's poor mental health, he is keeping the plan simple. He'll take Jamie out for dinner on Friday and then to the park after getting cookies from Panera Bread. Crosshairs still worries about Drift's plan. He knows part of it is due to what Jamie did, and her mental state has been more of a concern since. He fears not being with Jamie, even if he chose sitting at a table in the courtyard instead of seeking Drift and Jamie. However, he acknowledges Rung's correctness. Unbeknownst to him, Drift worries about him and seeks friends to stay with Crosshairs during his outing with Jamie.

On Friday, Drift takes Jamie out as the others go to dinner. Drift is worried about Crosshairs and hopes Crosshairs won't be mad at the others looking to stick with the routine without him and Jamie. He's happy Jamie wants to go out for dinner with him. Drift takes Jamie to a restaurant rather than McDonald's. Jamie didn't think Drift would pick an expensive restaurant, even if it's one of her favorites. Drift is fine with the lack of conversation. He hates that Jamie finds it hard to talk to him, but he doesn't want to force her. Lightning: Crosshairs is watching TV with the twins and me. Drift is pleased that Crosshairs is with his sister and friends. He knows Crosshairs will still worry, but hoping he'll relax.

Drift is also liking how much Jamie is eating. Even if they'll be bringing home plenty of leftovers/ "You ate most of the bread," Drift points out, "and if I knew you'd eat a lot of the appetizers, I would have said no. Now you won't eat dinner," Jamie smiles and continues to eat cheese fries, "well, we'll have plenty of leftovers."

Drift's assumption is correct, but Jamie still desires to get cookies and eat them at the park as planned. "If you get a stomach ache, don't blame me," he warns.

After ordering six warm chocolate chip cookies to eat and a dozen to share with friends, the two head to the park.

Jamie finds out Drift brought milk and cups rather than getting bottles of milk, seeing him take the items out of his subspace. Drift smiles, seeing Jamie smile. Thinking of how much he loves the femme beside him. Drift can start a conversation with Jamie about their time out together. He didn't expect her to mention their outings over the past two months and the pleasure she finds in their time together. Drift is also not surprised to hear Jamie say she's not used to Crosshairs not being with them. Drift knows Jamie likes it when Lightning and the terror twins join them and Lily when she can.

They sit on a bench near the pond after finishing the cookies. Jamie sits on Drift's lap. They watch the ducks in the pond. What Jamie said distracts Drift. Believing time with friends or together is helping her, but it's minimal. He lifts Jamie's head to look into her eyes and kiss her. Despite Jamie's fear of acknowledging their relationship because of her mental health, Drift is still shocked when she kisses him. He knows this is a small step, but he enjoys it. Once the kiss concludes, Jamie tries to curl up on Drift's lap. Even with the height difference, she's finding this difficult. "I warned you that you'd get a stomach ache. Time to go home." He carries Jamie to his alt mode and puts her in the passenger seat. Once buckled in, Jamie curls up the best she can. Showing how bad of a stomach ache she has.

Crosshairs is in the bedroom when Drift walks in, carrying Jamie. He watches Drift lie Jamie on the couch and go into the bathroom. "What happened?" "Someone ate too much." Drift gets pain relief and Jamie's water bottle. He still wants to check to ensure this isn't sudden pain from something more serious. Once he's sure it's nothing serious, he gives Jamie the pain relief and turns the TV on. "No more cookies for you tonight," Drift comments as he takes the box from his subspace. "More for me," Crosshairs smiles.

Crosshairs waits until Jamie is asleep to talk to Drift. He's happy to hear how the few hours went before Jamie got a stomach ache. The only thing he dislikes is the question of how long will this last? The two don't think with Jamie's mental health that Jamie is no longer afraid to say she and Drift are together, and she'd stop pushing him away when he tries to be more than friends with her. The two are more concerned about Jamie's mental health and how further challenging it is to help her. After the brief conversation, the two go to bed.

#fandom: transformers #rating: teen #prompt: depression #prompt: apologies #prompt: self inflicted #prompt: anxiety #prompt: “i love you”

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Refusal to Eat

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: E Warning: None Pairin g: Sunstreaker X Lily Jones (OC) Description: Lily feels too sick to eat or drink anything. Sunstreaker struggles to get her to have anything while worried an empty stomach will result in throwing up after having medicine. @marchofpain day 12, Alt 3; "Please."

Lily wakes up feeling worse than when the medicine wore off last night. She grabs her phone, seeing it is seven in the morning. The medicine wore off four hours ago. Not only is she cold, but she feels like she can’t sit up. It’s not a good time to pee. Lily thinks. “Sunstreaker?” Lily can’t believe how quickly Sunstreaker got out of bed and felt her forehead. “I feel worse than yesterday when the medicine wore off.” “You really should eat something before I give you medicine. I’m going to make toast again.” The mech isn’t liking he has to help Lily to the bathroom, but he helps her. Once she’s back in bed, he goes to the kitchen.

Sunstreaker tells his friends and brother how Lily is doing. They worry about how she’s not feeling up to eating before taking medicine. “You might be better off giving her the nutrition drink,” Drift suggests, handing him a packet from his subspace. Sunstreaker hopes Drift thinks this would happen while Lily is sick rather than Jamie is barely eating and he’s been having to make the nutrition drink.

Sunstreaker assists Lily in drinking with the straw. After Lily drinks half of the cup’s contents, he lies her down to get the medicine. “You have to finish this,” Sunstreaker tells her, “then you can go back to sleep.” Once Lily finishes taking the medicine and is comfortable, Sunstreaker hears a knock on the door.

Like yesterday, Crosshairs is ready to work out. This time, Jamie is ready for a workout. “This is likely the routine while Lily is sick,” Drift comments, “you don’t have to be here all day.” We don’t mind staying here.” “And we can get Sideswipe to help when he’s not teaching his class,” Jamie adds. The three mechs smile. Sunstreaker gets ready to work out while Drift sits on the couch.

Lily is awake for lunch, but she doesn’t want to eat. Sunstreaker leaves her alone, aware that she needs to eat, and he works on some art.

Sunstreaker’s concentration breaks when he hears Lily throwing up. He realizes he should have given her more medicine by now, but he’s concerned about her throwing up. Lily didn’t finish the nutrition drink made for breakfast. Sunstreaker isn’t sure if giving Lily medicine before eating is a good idea. “Finish this before I give you medicine, please?” “No.” Sunstreaker sighs and waits an hour. He knows Lily won’t feel better, but hoping she’ll be able to keep the drink and medicine down.

Lily still wants to avoid drinking the nutrition drink. “I don’t know if you’ll throw up having nothing before taking the medicine.” Sunstreaker prepares the medicine and puts it on the nightstand. He then sits Lily up and helps her drink the nutrition drink. She finishes it before he gives her the medicine. “Good, I just don’t want you to throw up again,” Sunstreaker says as he lies Lily down, “hoping you’ll eat some soup for dinner soon.” Sunstreaker goes back to the art he was working on.

#fandom: transformers #rating: explicit #prompt: “please”

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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What if This is What She's Been Dealing With?

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: T Warning: Poor mental health Pairing: Drift X Jamie (OC) Description: Drift questions if Jamie's behavior is emotional shutdown. Continued from day 27.

@marchofpain day 31; shutdown

Jamie ate dinner in the cafeteria with her friends. Others in the cafeteria are aware of the situation as they see her sadness. They don’t know the details but still worry. Crosshairs and Drift already don’t like telling Lightning and the twins when Jamie is struggling, now at least ten other Autobots and soldiers know something is up. They all know not to ask Crosshairs and Drift. Knowing how much the two struggle as they watch Jamie struggle.

Crosshairs yet again ignored his pain. He missed taking his pain relief by an hour. He sits on his bed, but before he gets his water bottle and pain relief, he notices Drift sitting on the other bed, looking at his phone. “Drift?” He is concerned about Drift ignoring him. Ignoring his pain, he moves to sit next to Drift. He thought Drift was looking through photos, but he was reading something. “Drift?” He repeats, nudging the mech. Drift sighs, “I…” Drift being unable to say anything worries Crosshairs. He takes Drift’s phone from his hand, seeing what Drift is reading; an article about emotional shutdown. As Crosshairs reads the article, he understands why Drift is speechless. What can he say? Crosshairs has ignored his pain long enough. Now, getting to his bed five feet away is difficult. “Crosshairs?” Drift hurries to help him to his bed and take his pain relief, “how long have you been ignoring your pain?” “Not even five minutes. You had me worried. What prompted you to look up emotional shutdown?” “I didn’t right away. That’s what a search led me to and… it’s accurate, but I don’t know if that means He’s been emotionally shut down for years.” “Rung would know, maybe even Ratchet, but I don’t want to ask them. They already hate how much Jamie struggles with her mental health. I don’t think this is a complete emotional shutdown. Unfortunately, I think what we’ve been seeing the past few days is just emotional shutdown, but prior has been the effects of humans not caring about her and how her family treats her.” “It’s hard knowing how humans treat her. That no human would love her romantically, and if they did, they’d abandon her.” Tears roll down Drift’s face. Crosshairs pulls him onto the bed. Drift weeps to avoid waking Jamie. As always, Crosshairs hates not knowing what to say. Now he watches Drift cry himself to sleep.

Crosshairs wakes up feeling the weight on his abdomen. He realizes Drift fell asleep on him. Bed space is limited for the mech. He also sees Jamie sleeping on him. He smiles, seeing his friends think he’s a comfortable pillow. Soon Drift wakes up. “Sorry,” he apologizes. Knowing the pain relief wore off, Drift gets more pills and Crosshairs’ water bottle. “Don’t be sorry,” Crosshairs says after taking pain relief, “she can stay. Are you ok?” “No.” Crosshairs is worried about Drift’s immediate sadness soon waking up. Questioning if it’s evidence of sad dreams but not nightmares. The sole suggestion from Crosshairs is a shower. Knowing Drift cannot meditate like he used to. He looks at Jamie, worried about how she’ll be today.

#fandom: transformers #rating: teen #prompt: shutdown

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Unexpected Problem

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: T Warning: Poor mental health Description: Why Crosshairs and Jamie are late worries Drift. He didn't expect what he saw when he returned to the shared room. Continued from day 21.

@marchofpain day 30; crying

Drift is concerned about not seeing Crosshairs and Jamie waiting by the cafeteria. Drift struggles to think Crosshairs and Jamie are late because Crosshairs didn’t notice the time. It’s not like Crosshairs to be late. Drift tries to remember the trio would be waiting for the terror twins and Lightning, but Crosshairs is never late, increasing Drift’s concern.

Drift walks into the room, and sees Crosshairs sitting on the bed by Jamie. Crosshairs says nothing, but Drift knows what’s going on. Drift regrets not noticing before heading to his duty. The Autobots and soldiers he works with would understand. Prowl would be angry. Saying nothing, Crosshairs agrees with Drift to move Jamie onto his lap. They both suspected Jamie had been crying in silence but didn’t think she’d start crying looking at the two.

“They should have been here,” Sideswipe comments. “Come on,” Lily says, waving her hand for the others to follow her.

Sunstreaker knocks on the door. The friends wait a few minutes, but there’s no answer. Sunstreaker realizes that Crosshairs and Drift have locked the door. Entering the code for room entry serves no purpose. They’d have to get Optimus, one of the medics or security officers to override the lock. “Should we?” Lightning asks. “No, I fear Jamie is not ok, but it’s not a medical emergency,” Sunstreaker tells the three. The three know this means Jamie isn’t doing well mentally. The discovery that Crosshairs and Drift locked the door adds to their concern. They nod at each other to agree to forget about lunch. They’ll wait in the hallway all afternoon to figure out what’s happening.

#fandom: transformers #rating: teen #prompt: crying

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Their Mental Scars

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: T Warning: Talk of poor mental health Pairing: None Description: The Autobots in a meeting change the subject to talking about Jamie, Crosshairs, and Drift.

@marchofpain day 29; scars

“… anything else we need to talk about?” Optimus’ holoform asks the other Autobots’ holoforms and Colonel Lennox who are sitting around the long table in the meeting room of the N.E.S.T. base. “Oh fine, I’ll say it,” Ironhide says, “what are we going to do to help our friends?” Everyone in the room agrees. “Are you deciding they’re no longer fighting in the war?” Sideswipe asks. This question disgusts everyone. “Enough! Let Optimus talk,” Ratchet yells. “Need I remind everyone the meeting wasn’t to discuss battle strategy? This was about strengthening our alliance with humans and an update on rebuilding Cybertron. No, I am not forbidding Crosshairs, Drift, or Jamie from fighting in battle should the Decepticons attack. However, I worry Jamie won’t be able to brush aside her mental struggle to fight. I’m leaving it up to Crosshairs and Drift what they will do with her if they believe she’s unfit for battle. While not the best idea, I only want them to plan for if Jamie is mentally unfit for battle.” “I can’t believe we’re talking about this,” Hound sighs. “I’m sorry I don’t know how to help them,” Rung says as he stands up. He tries to leave, but Optimus instructs him to remain. “It’s not your fault, Rung,” Lennox assures him, “you met Jamie four years ago. Jamie had been struggling for nineteen years. She has emotional scars from what she dealt with.” “Jamie doesn’t believe therapy will help. Which I think she’s right,” Ratchet adds, “you could try to help her, but it would be pointless with how she’s treated by her family.” “Crosshairs and Drift have already found out that having Jamie staying with them until she needs to go home doesn’t help,” Optimus adds. Everyone is angry and some agree with Sunstreaker about dealing with the problem, but unlike Sunstreaker, they know that wouldn’t help Jamie. The focus switches to Crosshairs and Drift’s emotional scars, not just from battle but also from the close encounter with Jamie’s death. Jamie’s depression and desire to be dead are not helping Crosshairs and Drift’s mental health. They understand why helping those two is also difficult for Rung. Even if both of them requested appointments with him. Even as friends, Rung’s ability to help Crosshairs, Drift, and Jamie is limited. The meeting’s focus has shifted to the Autobots figuring out how to help their three friends. Aware that any ideas won’t help them much.

#fandom: transformers #rating: teen #prompt: scars

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Sunburn

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom Transformers Rating: E Warning: None Pairing: Drift X Jamie (OC) Warning: Jamie gets a sunburn Description: Jamue never puts sunscreen on. Drift has to put it on for her. This beach trip, he forgets, and Jamie ends up with a bad sunburn.

@marchofpain day 28; burn

The seven friends love going to the beach. Today Jamie decides not to wear a T-shirt over the one-piece bathing suit she wore. She still wears shorts. The afternoon was full of fun. Jamie never liked Drift making her put sunscreen on. Drift would apply the sunscreen. Today it seems he forgot. She thinks she’ll be fine.

After a fun beach day, Crosshairs, Drift, and Jaie watch TV in their room. The two mechs notice Jamie’s difficulty in getting comfortable on the couch. “Uh, did you remember to put sunscreen on her since she refuses to put it on?” Crosshairs whispers. Drift palms his forehead, “no, frag. Of all the times to forget.” Concern arises as they believe Jamie has a severe sunburn on her back. Drift picks up Jamie and brings her into the bathroom, closing the door.

“Let me see your back.” Drift lifts Jamie’s shirt, seeing red on her lower back. Drift opens the door, showing Crosshairs the burn on Jamie’s back while telling him to put the aloe vera lotion in their mini fridge for ten minutes while Drift cools the burn.

“Here's her phone if you’re going to have her sit there for ten minutes,” Crosshairs says, giving Drift Jamie’s phone. He takes the lotion and puts it in the fridge. Then he sets a timer on his phone, waiting for Drift to place to towel on Jamie’s back. He watches Drift get a clean face cloth and soak it. Jamie is not liking the cloth touching the burn. Crosshairs starts the timer. He hears what Jamie is watching on her phone as Drift cools the burn.

Ten minutes pass. Crosshairs gets the lotion out of the fridge. He doesn’t question Drift, but he knows Drift didn’t do this the last time Jamie got a sunburn. Jamie doesn't like how the dry towel or lotion feels on the burn. After Jamie’s skin absorbs the lotion, she puts her shirt back on. Drift gives her pain relief and carries her to the couch. They dislike how even after this burn and how uncomfortable it’ll be, Jamie won’t learn her lesson about putting sunscreen on..

#fandom: transformers #rating: explicit #prompt: burn

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Refusing One of Her Favorites

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: T Warning: Poor mental health PairingL Drift X Jamie (OC) Description: Drift is full of concern about Jamie. Between her unexpected napping and refusal to eat. Continued from day 26.

@marchofpain day 27; food

Crosshairs and Lightning worry about Jamie’s mental health and know it contributes to her poor eating habits. They didn’t think she’d fall asleep. “Drift will not like this,” Lightning says as she lies Jamie on her bed and covers her with the extra blanket on the bed, “it’s not like we don’t like it, but we know how hard it is for him to watch Jamie struggle.” She sits back on the couch with Crosshairs.

Drift doesn’t wait for his friends by the cafeteria. Instead, he goes up to the shared bedroom. He figured Lightning would still be there. What he didn’t expect was to see Jamie asleep. Do I even ask what happened? Drift thinks, feeling like he doesn’t want to know what happened. He knows part of it is Jamie’s depression. Crosshairs and Lightning don’t know what to say, and hate it. They watch Drift sit on the bed, stroking Jamie’s hair. Crosshairs and Lightning decide that she’ll get McDonald’s for the four of them and she leaves the room. Crosshairs moves to sitting on his bed. He knows Drift would ask how the appointment went if he wasn’t worried about why Jamie was asleep. Crosshairs is concerned.

Ten minutes pass before Jamie is awake. She rolls to her other side. Crosshairs and Drift are concerned about this. Jamie doesn’t fight Drift as he picks her up and sits on the couch with her on his lap. Crosshairs sits next to Drift, seeing the sadness in Jamie’s eyes.

Lightning walks into the room ten minutes later carrying a McDonald’s bag and a drink tray. “I got a twenty-piece McNuggets. I know that’s only five each, but I also got each of us large fries,” she says as she takes the contents of the bag out. Tossing the sweet and sour sauce packs to Crosshairs. “Your nasty dipping sauce and nasty Pepsi.” “Don’t you dare throw it!” “That’s a good idea,” Lightning smiles. Drift laughs. The friends know Jamie would be laughing at this, but she’s quiet. Lightning puts the other drinks on the coffee table and gets the chair from the desk to sit with her friends. The three hear Jamie’s stomach and know she’s hungry. They hate she’s ignoring that. They never want to coerce Jamie into eating. Drift has fed Jamie if needed, but when she was sick. He’s not sure if Jamie will fight him because she’s refusing to eat. Even if he lets her skip lunch, dinner will still be a problem. He gets a fry and puts it in Jamie’s already open mouth. The three friends are Relieved she’s eating the fry. Drift grabs Jamie’s large fries container and puts it on her lap. As he hoped, Jamie is eating the fries. The concern is does she feel forced? The four eat their lunch. Jamie ate all her fries and the five McNuggets. After lunch, the four decide Jamie needs to get outside and take her to the courtyard. Aware others will know the situation as they look at Jamie. They don’t want to add worry for those who worry about her, but know it’s inevitable.

#fandom: transformers #rating: teen #prompt: food

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Further Mental Health Decline

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction fandom: Transformers Rating: T Warning: Poor mental health pairing: None Description: Crosshairs and Lighting worry about Jamie's mental health and behavior. Continued from day 23.

@marchofpain day 26; worthless

The next day Crosshairs has an appointment in the medbay to ensure his ribs are healing and Drift has a shift. Lightning sits on the couch with Jamie, watching TV. She doesn’t know Jamie isn’t paying attention to what’s on the TV. Her mind again reminds her of what her family in her dimension says to her, reminding her of how worthless she is, arguing about her relationship with her friends in this dimension. You can’t do anything and have alien soldiers babysitting you. You ruin everyone’s lives.

She zoned out until she felt herself being lifted. Feeling leather on her face indicating Crosshairs is back from the medbay. “… all this time,” Jamie hears Lightning, “I didn’t think her mental health could get any worse especially after what you told me happened the other day.” Crosshairs hugs his sister with his other arm. He too worries about Jamie’s lack of response to being picked up. He knows his green leather trench coat tells her who picked her up and Jamie would still look at him. She’s been thinking negative thoughts again. Crosshairs suspects. Drift will not like hearing this. Would it be a problem if we didn’t tell him? Crosshairs sits on the couch with Jamie on his lap. Even Lightning suggests not telling Drift. “By the way, were you cleared to lift?” Crosshairs doesn’t answer, “Crosshairs! You know how foolish that is?!” “It’s fine. I sat on the couch soon after picking her up.” He hugs Jamie, worried about her behavior. Lightning is right, we didn’t think Jamie’s mental health could decline further. This is terrifying. Crosshairs thinks. The room is silent as Crosshairs and Lightning don’t know what to say.

#fandom: transformers #rating: teen #prompt: worthless

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Breaking Point

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: T Warning: Poor mental health Pairing: Drift X Jamie (OC) Description: Crosshairs struggles to calm Drift. Continued from day 30.

@marchofpain day 25; meltdown

Crosshairs and Drift struggle to get Jamie to calm down. Drift even tries walking around the room like parents would with sparklings. Hoping the movement being helpful wasn’t limited to sparklings. They’d rather not use drugs and don’t know how long they should wait before deciding they have to.

“It’s been twenty minutes,” Sideswipe points out, “now do we get Optimus or Ratchet?” “No, Crosshairs and Drift can handle it,” Sunstreaker argues, hiding his concern.

“Shh, you’re ok,” Drift repeats while hugging Jamie and moving in a slow rocking motion. The two mechs feel relieved they didn’t need to use drugs. They don’t like how long Jamie took to calm down. They know she’s falling asleep, and while they were supposed to be getting lunch, will let her fall asleep. Crosshairs hates how he can only hold Jamie’s hand.

Sunstreaker waited another ten minutes before knocking on the door. “What?!” Drift snaps. “What’s going on?” Sunstreaker asks. “Nothing!”

Crosshairs can’t believe Drift closed the door on Sunstreaker. He quickly texts Lightning that he’ll tell the four what’s going on later before hugging Drift. He hates seeing Drift struggle mentally, but he never thought he’d see Drift going through an emotional meltdown. Crosshairs still didn’t think Drift would cry as Crosshairs hugs him. As odd as it is, Crosshairs takes Drift into the bathroom before his crying wakes Jamie up.

Crosshairs struggles to find honest words. Helping Jamie mentally has been a challenge for both. He hugs Drift and rubs his back as Drift did with Jamie. The crying mech rests his head on Crosshairs' shoulder. “I hate not knowing how to help her,” Drift sobs. “I know.” Crosshairs feels pain. He realized he meant to take more pain relief before going to the cafeteria with Jamie. Since plans changed, he didn’t take any. He doesn’t want to shove Drift off him either while he’s like this. He’s more bothered that he can only let Drift cry and there’s nothing he can do to calm his friend sooner. It’s not just the pain, he hates hearing Drift or Jamie cry.

#fandom: transformers #rating: teen #prompt: meltdown

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marchofpain · 7 months ago

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Change of Plans

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: E Warning: None Pairing: Drift X Jamie (OC) Description: With Crosshairs cleared to leave the base, he and Drift planned on taking Jamie out. Until they find out she has a stomach bug.

@marchofpain day 24; stomach bug.

Three weeks have passed since he was attacked, and Crosshairs still hasn’t grown bored. He suspects it’s because he’s worried about Drift and Jamie. It’s been a shitty three weeks in terms of Jamie’s mental health. Crosshairs knows it’s not because of his injury and he believes it’s been beneficial for him to be able to stay with Jamie. It’s another day off for Drift. Now that Crosshairs has recovered from a concussion, the two were thinking about going out into the city. A simple trip to Panera Bread and the park. Plans change when Jamie walks out of the bathroom and lies on the couch. They find out Jamie is sick. The two mechs have learned about common Earth illnesses they can expect Jamie and her friends to get. While Jamie has yet to get the stomach bug, they know the symptoms. Jamie doesn’t want to eat. Drift makes a bottle of nutrition drink before going to make breakfast for him and Crosshairs.

Drift returns with breakfast. He made Jamie hot tea. Drift has Jamie on his lap while eating. The two mechs watch Jamie sneak bacon off Drift’s plate. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Drift comments. Jamie sulks and doesn’t grab more bacon after Drift takes the one she took. Sulking as the two mechs eat their breakfast while she drinks the nutrition drink. Jamie needs to lie down by the time the two mechs finish their breakfast. She turns the TV on before getting comfortable on the couch. “You don’t have to stay here,” Drift tells Crosshairs. “I could say the same thing. Yes, you do something. I’ll stay here. I can’t work out, so swimming is not an option. I can stay here to watch TV.” “You could use the hot tub, but fine.” Drift changes into his workout outfit, puts his shoes on, and grabs the tray of plates and leaves. Crosshairs moves the trash bin by the couch. “Really?” “Yes.” Crosshairs lies on his bed and reads a book on his phone.

Drift returns an hour later as Jamie walks out of the bathroom. Her face turns red. He knows she’s embarrassed because the bathroom stinks. He’s more worried about if she also threw up and ensuring she doesn’t get dehydrated. Crosshairs is still reading his book until he sees Drift. “That was quick,” Crosshairs comments. "We won’t be doing much outside of our room. I’d rather stay here.” “At least while Jamie is sick.” “I’d rather wait until you can join us.” “Don’t do that. Think of it as more dates with Jamie,” the two are interrupted hearing Jamie throw up, “I told her she’d need the bin.” Drift watches Jamie lie back down on the couch. He sits on the couch with her.

Jamie moves the pillow onto Drift’s lap and rests her head on the pillow. The two watch TV. Crosshairs finishes the book he’s been reading. Which takes him until lunch to finish.

Jamie wants to eat, but Drift still thinks she shouldn’t. The two mechs see Jamie finished the nutrition drink. They decide to wait until dinner to see if Jamie will fair eating toast. Crosshairs take more pain relief and sits next to Jamie, who doesn’t care she’s moving the pillow onto Crosshairs’ lap and lies down. Crosshairs puts a hand on her side.

Drift walks into the bedroom with a tray. He made breakfast for dinner, which Crosshairs doesn’t mind. Eggs and toast for the two mechs, but only toast for Jamie. The two know she’s annoyed with this and the stomach bug altogether. “You should be better by tomorrow and we can go out as planned,” Crosshairs assures Jamie, “Ratchet said I could. I just need to bring my pain relief.” Drift tells Jamie the twins and Lightning won’t be joining them watching TV. The friends know Jamie has a stomach bug.

The night is relaxing, minus Jamie’s trips to the bathroom. She can keep the toast down. By nine, she’s ready for bed. The two watch her get into bed. “I don’t think she stayed hydrated,” Crosshairs suspects. “Probably not.” “I think we’ll be able to go out tomorrow.” They watch a bit of TV before going to sleep.

Jamie ends up using the bathroom a few times overnight but feels better when she wakes up.

#fandom: transformers #rating: explicit #prompt: stomach bug

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