#she loves a shadowsinger

[briaberri]

what I read in the text with Elain's behavior and the unaccepted mating bond is not someone conniving to hurt another. I read cues that someone doesn't feel safe to reject something she wants to say no to. that insecurity is incriminating, but not quite of Elain...

Elain's journey/story has reinforced the message that her selfhood is secondary in value. no one unlearns that in a season because now they live in a magical world. arguably, even more caution should be advised. how long did Feyre take to come to her own decision that was undeniably better for her? this amount of dissonance is kinda cruel. either nothing is expected of Elain because she has nothing of worth to offer, or her all is expected because she is the only thing of worth to offer. It's confusing at best, and global gaslighting... worse.

if Elain's only self-claimed power at the moment is her resistance, her subtle refusal to move on something before she's ready, her choice to invest elsewhere... to take her time....then she's wiser than everyone else. she's protecting own permission. and unless Luc is diabolical beneath, I can't imagine he really wants her subjugation... he's not Beron; and he's fused to the freedom fight for a woman whose bodily autonomy has been abused #provassa. positions that stand for Feyre, Nesta, Gwyn, Emerie, and Mor's due justice of choice, but drop Elain from that list, isn't valuing women, it's valuing temperament and type.

Elain said 'no thanks' a thousand times. choosing not to hear it because it doesn't 'sound' like the expectation is disturbing.

[briaberri]

@lovemyromance offers this clarity❤️‍🩹💫🌌🌱

People likening Azriel to a one dimensional, blood-thirsty Hewn City cruel torturer is just so upsetting.

He is more than the role he was forced to play. The blood on his hands is something he is resentful and ashamed about. It's not something he brags about, it's not something he is prideful of. There is clear proof of that in the BC when he thinks he is undeserving of even touching someone as pure and kind as Elain.

He's not looking for a torture assistant. He's not looking for someone to polish his knife and get "their hands dirty". He does not crave violence.

I don't think any of the IC craves violence. They all detest Hewn City, and condemn the CoN.

I don't know where people got this idea that Azriel is a dark brute who loves to torture people and he's looking for a partner in crime 🙄

SJM has always talked about how beautiful, graceful, and courteous he is. She likened him to a courtier. The role Cassian had to force himself into in ACOSF, is something that comes naturally to Azriel. He waltzes, he offers a hand to Elain, he escorts her to the garden.

What about that gives you cruel torturer intent on rolling about in his own "darkness"? He seeks peace and calm, not more chaos and blood.

People seem to think Elriel wouldn't work because "Elain abhors violence" and "Azriel apparently loves violence" and that's just untrue.

They think Elriel won't work because "Azriel feels bad about himself around her" but don't seem to understand that Azriel's perception of himself is heavily influenced by his own self esteem issues. He doesn't believe anyone can love someone like him because he doesn't love himself, he is ashamed for the blood on his hands.

The solution isn't to have someone who loves the fact that he has blood on his hands. The solution isn't to have someone who helps him torture and interrogate and make his self-hatred worse. There's a difference between accepting someone's flaws vs feeding into their self-hatred.

Elain would be the kind of person who loves Azriel for who he is. She sees the male he tries to be beyond the job. She's not just capable of "accepting his darkness", she's the person who shows him there is light. She is the light to his darkness. And that's canon, babes.

Azriel already feels such hatred for himself for what he does. He's not going to drag his LI down to that too. He's not going to want to taint another soul with that burden.

Accepting someone doesn't mean being dragged down with them. It means loving someone and showing them they are worthy of love, even if they themselves do not believe themselves deserving of it.

[utterlyazriel]

whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)

a/n: not gonna even acknowledge the time break between chappies... all i'm gonna say happy cassian chappie ! <3! i hope u all enjoy it mwah thank u for reading

word count: 3.8k

synopsis: Adjusting to life in Velaris means learning to train with new, friendly faces. A tentative friendship forms. Azriel keeps his distance.

CHAPTER NINE :: FRIENDS (IN OTHER PLACES)

Whoosh.

Training staff gripped tightly in your calloused hands, you swing with a muscle memory built over decades, the stick whistling as it cuts through the air with deadly precision. Strike. Twist. Bend. Strike, twice as hard.

You're going through the motions. A simple warm-up, running a drill that you've done enough times you could probably do it in your sleep. The movements are familiar, easy. Routine.

If you close your eyes, you could almost imagine you're still in Exordor.

Except... there's no familiar wind current to perform its melody in the early morning, dancing through the mountainside trees. No frozen chill to the air around you. No crunch of snow beneath your feet to throw your balance. No bound chest to chafe your skin.

No looking over your shoulder in pure panic at every unexpected noise.

Well, not quite that last one. It's a habit you're dedicated to breaking for the sake of your shot nerves — but evidently failing, considering how you straighten up and whip around when the door leading out to the training ring shudders open.

You hold your breath on instinct and clutch the training staff tighter.

Stepping out into the early morning air, the dawn still unbroken, is another Illyrian warrior.

Mother, how many of them were there around here?

You hadn't got to meet anyone else after that encounter on the balcony, almost exactly one week ago. Hadn't exactly wanted to either.

You hadn't even wanted to see Azriel again so soon after the churning, sickening twist of emotions you had barely managed to stumble through after your severe reawakening.

He hadn't come to see you.

You hadn't asked.

Besides Madja, Rhysand was the only new face you had come to know. He had taken to coming by your room a couple times over the week, checking on the progress of your healing, particularly sympathetic on the state of your wings. Revealed his own with a polite flourish.

He was... different than you were expecting. Perhaps you were learning that rumours are not everything — certainly it's clear that there is more to Rhysand than what first appears.

As Highlord, he had to discuss your potential living situations once you were healed enough to leave the infirmary.

I meant what I said. He had said, violet eyes kind as he hovered at the end of your bed. You're no prisoner here. You'll be free to go wherever you wish, even back to Exordor if that's what you decide.

And if I don't? You had whispered, your gaze fixed on the fine sheets of the bed. If I decide that... I have no home there anymore?

Then you'll have a home here. For as long as you would like.

And though it overrode every single instinct you had learned to trust, everything that had kept you alive this long, you chose to take his word for it.

Rhys said no harm would befall you in Velaris and you would be welcome here for as long as wanted.

But... that didn't mean you were exactly looking to make new friends.

Staring the newcomer that enters the balcony with much less grace than that of usual Illyrians, you watch him closely, not quite daring to take a breath.

At a first glance, you had thought it might be Azriel—heart leaping up your throat—but that was quickly washed away. Something in you knew from the hair standing up on the nape of your neck, before you even saw him properly, that this male was utterly unfamiliar to you.

He's taller, you realise. His hair is a longer and he doesn't quite move with the grace of the Shadowsinger — though, perhaps you are just so unused to seeing a male so relaxed. So caught off guard, in fact, that when he turns he gives a little yelp in surprise.

"Fuck!" He says, one of his large hands jumping out and clenching into a fist —his whole body switching to a fighting stance, you realise— before he relaxes again. His fist uncurls into a less threatening open palm.

"I- sorry, just didn't realise anyone else was out here." His fighting stance melts away, open palm still extended. He gives what you think might be a friendly smile.

You don't respond, only gripping the training staff a little tighter. Every hackle is raised, the hair on the back of your neck prickling, and your entire body winding itself up to prepare to fight, if it comes down to it.

The male seems to realise this as his next move is to raise both hands, palms out, the universal signal for surrender. They're large, tanned, and void of the scars you've come to know on Azriel.

However, where there are usually shimmering cobalt blue siphons, this newcomer has dazzling ruby red ones instead. You count each of his. Seven.

Your throat tightens — like all of Illyria, you've heard of this warrior too. The Lord of Bloodshed.

He doesn't exactly look so fearsome at the moment, his expression easy-going, even friendly, from behind his raised hands.

He seems to be waiting for you to make a move or to speak but after a moment, he realises neither are going to happen.

"Rhys said there might be another Illyrian around." He says, taking a tentative step forward, in the direction of the training ring, letting his hands drop to his side. You notice how he tucks his wings in a little more, like he might be trying to be respectable. Polite.

He's watching you closely. "Didn't mention you were a female, though."

Instinct makes you want to sneer in response — the only time Illyrian males bother bring up the differences in sex is to make some nasty comment about the biological weakness of females.

Not born to be warriors. They spit. Fragility is bred into them from the moment they're conceived. Breakable. Less than. A female in the training ring has as much place does as a male does in the kitchen.

But this male... says female in a way you've never quite heard before. As though he's somewhere closer to awe.

"My name is Cassian," The male introduces himself, his tentative steps becoming more of a stroll as he wanders across to the weapons stand. He eyes them halfheartedly, his focus still on you.

He turns lightly, tucking in one of his wings to peer back at you. "And yours is...?"

You still haven't moved, only tracking his movements with a slight shift of your eyes. Part of you wonders if he already knows your name and he's simply being polite.

Cassian nods as though you've spoken, despite the fact you haven't made a sound.

"Okay, not a big talker, I get it." He dips his head in a little nod, giving you an easy smile, then a quick wink. "Promise I don't bite."

No reaction. You’re not entirely sure if that’s a joke or not.

Either way, Cassian turns and focuses on his selection, pulling one of the training staffs off the weapons rack into his strong, sure grip.

Despite Rhysand's promise, your heart begins to rabbit wildly.

You wonder if this is some sickening game of cat and mouse—if he's perhaps going to tire you out before he selects his true weapon. If he wants you to know he can best you, even without a blade at his disposal.

You're a decent fighter—hell, a great one even—but you know better than to expect to come out on top against the Lord of Bloodshed.

You finally force yourself to move; shifting your feet to face him, you sink into a fighting stance, staff poised to face him, prepared to bare your teeth.

Cassian blinks. It takes another moment for him to realise that none of his friendliness is working to thaw your iciness. He quickly sets the training staff back down with a clatter, raising his hands once more.

"Woah," He says, giving a small shake of his head. "Not looking to fight. Unless you and I are in that ring—" He gestures to the training ring behind him. "I will never try to fight you. And... I hope you can say the same for me."

You don't even realise you've released your breath until you deflate a little, relief coming in small, incremental waves.

He doesn't want to fight. There's no proving yourself, at least not today.

Maybe some day in the near future, he'll demand you get in the ring to earn your space here—because that was the first thing you ever learned as an Illyrian warrior. But not today.

Reluctant and relieved all at once, you lower your training staff.

Your hesitance or silence doesn't seem to hinder Cassian. In fact, he smiles at the motion.

He's quite handsome, you note. In that rugged way, not quite so classically handsome as Azriel. The unexpected thought makes you flush. You shake it away with a shiver.

"You have your reasons for your unease I bet," Cassian continues, his hands drifting back to his sides. His wings have begun to spread out a little more, as if relaxing.

"And if you want me to piss off, I certainly will. My goal is not to make you uncomfortable in the slightest. But... well, I do have just one question."

He pauses, as if waiting for something. Permission, you realise faintly, which surprises you enough that you give a rather jerky nod, permitting him to ask his question.

A brilliant smile spreads across Cassian's face. "Did you really stab Azriel with a fork?"

The question takes you by utter surprise, fresh bewilderment rippling across your features. You shift back almost awkwardly, stepping out of your fighting stance. The memory from months ago rises up inside, the first meeting in your lonely shelter.

How did he know that? He could he know that?

"I—" You trip over the words, not entirely sure how to answer the question. You can't quite tell why he's asking—is he assessing you as a threat? Your voice is tentative and guarded as you murmur out, "...yes?"

You don't think it would've mattered how you answered truly, as the moment you confirm it, Cassian roars in laughter, his head thrown back and his hand clutching his belly. He laughs loudly for a moment, shaking his head with a fond smile.

"Holy shit, I thought Rhys was kidding! Cauldron, what I would've given to see that." His hazel eyes glitter brightly, as though he's excited. "Was he surprised? I bet he was. Where did you stab him?"

His easy tone, like he's talking to an old friend, takes you back. You find yourself responding with an unexpected ease. Looking back on it now, it is a little funny.

"He was," You nod, nearly smiling at Cassian's enthusiasm. Your lips twitch and you gesture to your neck, somewhat awkwardly, miming the motion. "In the neck."

Cassian laughs again. "Oh, and I bet he'd deny the whole thing if it ever came up."

You don't know quite what to say to that—Azriel hadn't ever brought it up and you certainly weren't going to remind him of it. You tilt your head to the side a bit, an unknown feeling making itself known in the pit of your stomach. An anxiety of an entirely different kind.

The male before you is not an enemy. He's not an ally either... and you can't understand what he gains from talking to you.

You can't even fathom the idea that he might just want to be your friend.

So, you turn. Tighten your grip and resume the exercise that had been interrupted. Muscles groan as you work through their achiness, slowly becoming warmer as the hot blood pumps around your body.

Despite what Madja had said a week ago on that balcony, today was actually the first morning you were allowed to train.

For the last seven days, the exercise you were restricted to was mere stretches; only enough to ensure each of your wings could extend fully and that your limbs could move without serious cause for concern.

It had driven you stir crazy.

The only time you ever skipped so many days without training was during your cycle—something you had mercifully missed the end of this time around, hidden away in your unconsciousness.

So, at the first opportunity, when you rose from your bed this morning and Madja hadn't given you that pointed stare and instead gave you directions, you had found the training area. Began with old routines, if only for the fact you don't know who you are when you're not training.

Inhaling now, the wood of the training staff creaks beneath your iron grip. You're trying desperately to use it as a tether, to some semblance of normal for yourself. It's difficult when there's so many changes lurking.

The solid stone makes you sturdier than before. There's no snow beneath your feet to sink your boots into, to find your balance on. But your injuries aren't entirely healed either.

The pain is not fresh but it's still hindering enough to be a nuisance. Your left ear still twinges from time to time—sometimes it seems to hum so loudly you can't hear clearly, others it dulls altogether. Neither are particularly pleasant to experience.

Pain, however, you have plenty of experience in. Gritting your teeth and pushing through it is practically standard for the Illyrian way; especially when you know your body. You know how much it can take. You know it's been through worse.

But the pesky problem with your ear keeps you off balance, just enough that it shows in your motions.

You keep stumbling around like a goddamn fledgling with every new attempt, footing clumsy, which makes you burn in humiliation because that's what you learn first. It's impossible not to feel unendingly frustrated as decades of training all get shifted slightly to the left.

It doesn't help either that there's still those holes in the edges of your wings.

Fae healing is incredibly advanced but even so, there is only so much magic can do.

Lacerations can be healed, stabs and slices stitched up with ease — but a hole, torn forcibly in and through the delicate flesh of Illyrian wings? You know that you should be thanking the Mother that they even still work in their complete capacity.

The skin around where the stakes had been forced is puckered and stiff, whitened by the scar tissue and trauma. It had been sickening the first time you had curled them close around you and realised with a faint horror that you could technically see through them — a irregular circular gash preserved in either wing of how you'd been pinned down.

The air passes through them as you shift, causing an uneasy shiver. They don't catch on the wind quite the same as they did before.

You haven't taken to the skies yet. You're torn between your eagerness to fly again, to prove to yourself that they can still, and the sinking fear that that's something new you'll have to relearn as well.

So, instead, you run through the training drill for the nth time, trying to get back in sync with your own body. Trying to push past where it seems to falter and trying and failing to not care that your wavering movements now have an audience.

Watching him subtly out the corner of your eye, Cassian appears to be running drills of his own, a gentle warmup. He stretches his toned arms above his head, the motions limber and easy. Briefly, your mind wanders to Azriel's own morning training —never mind that you did have experience training with him over many mornings — and the most peculiar fluster flows through you.

You bite your cheek and rein in your drifting thoughts, gripping the staff tighter.

Strike. Twist. Bend. Strike, twice as hard. Your left eardrum squeals, jumping abruptly in volume at the motions, and though you manage to contain yourself to a wince, your twist goes off kilter.

Your wings stretch out to counterbalance but they don't catch the wind as well as you're used to. Your feet stumble to realign and all you can think is how fucking easy it would be decimate you in a fight in that second.

Something awful starts to grow in your throat and it takes a full moment to realise its the urge to cry, clawing up your throat.

You inhale shakily, eyes fixed on the stone beneath you, and will them away. You weren't a crier — but then again, never had you ever felt quite so utterly hopeless as you were right now.

You've always had this—always had the fight from within your bones, always had your body, always relied on your dexterity to push you forward.

Shadow covers the stone before you. Your head shoots ups, that same panic you can't shake jolting in your chest.

"Hi." Cassian says, giving a little two-fingered salute. He smiles kindly. "Cassian. We met maybe, uh, 5 minutes ago? Remember that?"

You blink at him, not even noticing how the distraction sends away the urge to cry. Swallowing thickly, you give a tentative nod.

"Fantastic. Great memory." His smile melts into a grin and though it sounds like he's teasing, you don't exactly feel like it you who's being made fun of. "I— I have no doubt you're an excellent fighter, especially considering you managed to land a hit on a warrior such as Azriel."

Cassian seems to hear his words only after he's said them and gives a minuscule frown. "Wait, don't tell him I said that. He'll never let me live it down."

When you don't react in amusement as he was aiming for, Cassian changes his tone again, more serious this time.

"Look, I might not be exactly sure what happened that meant you ended up here. I know it might not seem like a welcome change of pace but— well- and what I mean to say is— I can see your missteps."

The admittance of your failings makes humiliation swell up within you. You avert your eyes. Cassian, aware of his awful blunder, barrels on.

"But I can see you're getting your feet again." He adds, softer than before. "After whatever happened to you and your wings, I can tell you're already doing better than most Illyrians would. I also know that everything is easier with a little support."

Your gaze tugs back to Cassian's face as his sentence ends, the offer within it leaving you momentarily dazed. He wants... to help you?

You open your mouth to say just that—but instead, say, "They... didn't tell you?"

Something foreign yanks on your heartstrings. You can't say you had expected privacy, not when Rhysand was already generously providing you with both medical aid and a place to lay low and recover. You were in no position to ask for more.

Suddenly, you become hyper aware of your wings and their gaping, obvious scars to pair with the thin white lines of the lashes adorned across them. You rein them back self-consciously, keeping them tucked close against your back. There's relief in that simple motion alone.

"It is not their story to tell." Cassian nods, grave and serious. "And, just as important, sharing it is not a requirement to be allow yourself a little support."

You don't have to tell him, if you don't want to.

Before you, an Illyrian male, like so many that you've detested all your miserable life, and he doesn't know a thing about you. He doesn't get to know what happened unless you decide to tell him.

You taste his words, mulling them over in your mind as you try to figure out what he means. In the heart of it, you can't understand what he truly stands to gain from this offer of support.

"What... kind of support?" You question warily.

Unthinkingly, your grip tightens on the training staff once more—a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of baring your vulnerabilities. It had been well-trained out of you. Connections of any kind risked exposure... and well, the one time in your life you had given it a go, it had only been proven true.

"Whatever you wish." Cassian grins, as if pleased you had asked that exact question. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind his ear and rattles off his list easily, with a slight shrug of his armoured shoulders. "Friendship? Training? Someone to listen when you need it or to drink your sorrows with? I've had plentiful practice with all."

He sends you another wink, teasing and easy like everything else about him. It's disarming actually, just how different he is from what you had been expecting from only the rumours around Exordor. Lord of Bloodshed. He's so...casual.

After another beat of silence, Cassian clears his throat when it becomes clear you aren't exactly jumping onto any of his initial offers. The caginess you exude is palpable and something ragged in Cassian's chest tears wider at whatever his mind conjures up about what might be lurking your past.

True to his word, Rhys hadn't delved into your story or how you came to end up here at the House of Wind.

All Cassian knew for sure is that Azriel had talked of training with a bastard some months ago and now, you were here. A female warrior from Exordor.

Cassian thinks that Azriel likely would've mentioned it if the bastard he was working with was female—but he hadn't. There's much more to your story, he can tell, and it seems to ripple from the edges of your wary, dangerous form at just a glance. Almost a full picture for him to realise, to see clearly.

But... these things were earned.

If Cassian wanted to be your friend, to know your story, he would do it the honourable and hard way.

He would become someone that you could trust in this new, unfamiliar place and he knew it was possible because what Cassian knew lay within him was reflected in you. The one clear part of the picture.

A warrior who knows themselves best when they're fighting.

"Train with me. Please." Cassian tries once more, ready to relent if it was too much, too soon. "There is a lot we can teach each other, I'm sure."

That seems to catch you by surprise, your brows jumping a fraction up your face. You school the expression away quickly but not before Cassian catches it. He nods.

"What do you say?" Cassian grins again, holding out his hand, palm up. Nonthreatening as can be. "Friends? Allies? Reluctant rooftop sharers? I'll take any happily."

You eye his hand, that still cautious air in your gaze, but Cassian can see as something settles within you. Tentatively, you reach forward and put your hand in his, giving it an awkward, stilted shake.

"I'll take allies for now," You say, somewhat demurely. It's taking a mountain load of trust for you to do so, Cassian knows. He does not take that trust lightly.

Cassian grins. "Allies it is."

[NEXT PART: SHADOWS]

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[somnas-writes]

Azriel going insane with his crush on Eris except no way he’s going to talk to his friends about this so he takes to going on long flights and mumbling to himself

[acourtofthought]

Azriel is not ashamed of his hands because of his scars. His scars are something that were done to him as a child.

Azriel is ashamed of his hands because of what he's chosen to do with them ever since.

Elain is not embracing Azriel's darkness because she maybe called his scars beautiful (chances are she was referring to his Siphons anyway) considering his scars have nothing to do with the fact that he tortures people.

Elain has never seen Azriel kill someone and she's definitely never seen him kill someone in a brutal symphony of pain. He confirms she has no idea the things he's done.

Elain embracing Azriel's darkness is only fanon at this point, not canon. In contrast Gwyn has seen him slaughter multiple people. Will she truly embrace his darkness? Right now we don't know however the clues Sarah left suggest that out of the two, Gwyn has a more bloodthirsty nature than Elain.

“I heard you made the killing blow,” he said. “Nesta did. I just stabbed him.”

“You led the beast right to them.” “I learned where the beasts sleep during the day,” Gwyn said. “And that they get very angry when awoken.” She pointed to the cuts on her face, her hands. “I barely outran that one as I led it toward the camp.

While Elain deflects what she actually did (she did more than "stab" him, she put a knife clean through his throat), Gwyn goes into detail.

And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her.

“Did you know shields weighed so much? I certainly didn’t. No wonder the Valkyries learned to use them as weapons as deadly as their swords.” She sighed. “They’d have been quite a sight in battle: cracking open enemy skulls with blows from their shields, throwing them to knock an opponent onto their backs before skewering them …” She rubbed her shoulder again. “Their arm muscles must have been as hard as steel.”

Gwyn is impressed by the Valkyries cruelty while cruelty bothers Elain.

An author should not be expected to hold a readers hand to make a point. Literary devices along with logic should be enough to understand what's being said.

[briaberri]

so early in the day to already be tearing up @nikachansstuff nails it again -<@ ToT <3

You were always the prettiest of the three

You were four years and two months the first time you heard your mother saying the words. It hit you in the chest, something between agony and guilt. But you were a child feeling those foreign words, so you just cried big, fat tears in your father’s arms.

Beauty is labor.

That was her words, while she brushed your long hair. One hundred times before bed, another one hundred before braiding to start the day. Your scalp was so sensitive those days, and you were only six, but your mother told you repeatedly: beauty is labor. And love would come.

And how beautiful Elain was. Like a blooming rose, my lovely Elain, Father used to say.

One day you overheard her, telling your older sister - your protector - how you were an important investment. A promise of a future marriage. But all beauty, nothing else. No high hopes, Nefertiti’s face blessed, but nothing else.

The balls in society started earlier for you. Not even a debutant, but your presence was noticed in those halls. You liked the colors, the smell of flowers. But there was always the sharpness in the older girls eyes, and you understood their reasons.

Because beauty is labor.

When your mother took her last breath, you felt guilty for a while. For the wave of relief, you see? There was pain, yes. There was grief. But you can still feel your scalp tingling every time you face the vanity’s mirror.

Life went fast and still after her passing. Father lost the title, lost the fortune, lost his health. Lost his hope. But even with the cold and hunger, you found happiness in that crowded cabin. You had your family. And the seeds your little sister gave you turned into a beautiful garden.

The labor in that type of beauty didn’t hurt you, besides the faint superficial scars in your hands. You found love in gardening, among the flowers.

And yet again, life changed. A long lost aunt became ill, your younger sister - the brave heart - left during the night. Father regained his wealth, his health, and stood again a little taller.

Fast and still. Going by flashes.

You didn’t miss the ballrooms, but it was there you found love. His blue eyes had a promise of forever, and deep inside, you thought that he could understand what comes with beauty. You felt, you fell. The engagement was the natural step.

Giving yourself fully was the next. Something wet, something sweet. Lingering touches in once forbidden places.

Love. For the first time, love. The one your mother had promise, in those long sessions brushing your hair; hurting your scalp.

Love.

And suddenly, magic is very real. Brave heart is no longer human, with that delicate pointed ears and strange winged companions.

That was the first time you saw him.

The man who had ivy in his strong hands. You asked him about flying, he told you about how the wind sings.

War is coming. The chilling air brings people in the property, possible allies, enemies to the crown. You feel small in comparison to such strong sisters, but you endure. You emulate the courage you see in those identical silver steel eyes.

It happened in the middle of the night. They woke you and took you into that throne room, with all those strangers.

“Put the prettier one first.”

The last words you heard with your ordinary human ears. Deep inside, you thought fate was cruel for laughing at you by agreeing with your mother’s mantra.

You died that day. As the cold water surrounded your body, you felt yourself die.

You took your first breath in those new powerful lungs. Reborn, through pain and magic. And then, you’re claimed.

Mate.

The foreign word hangs in the air, while your sister - your protector - snarls like a wild beast, defending you from that claiming.

You died. Or maybe you’re sleeping? Surrounded by visions, and new sounds. That relentless heartbeat. The bird of flame. And those old hands.

They think you lost your mind. Maybe you did, maybe the Cauldron took too much, took your human life, human love. Took your sanity.

Maybe you did lost everything. It’s hard to see in that murky realm. No one sees you.

You feel like drowning again.

But then… sunshine.

“The Cauldron made you a Seer.”

He sees you.

The winged male with ivy in his hands. He’s there again, and something inside you eases with his presence. He is safe heaven. He didn’t let you drown.

He offers his hand and company. Those cobalt jewels, those deeply scarred hands. You heard yourself saying how beautiful he is. All of it, beautiful.

He takes you to the garden. No imposition, just easy company. It feels familiar, because he sees you - with that bright hazel eyes.

The war keeps pushing boundaries, and you are still human at heart. So you emulate your sisters’ courage once again and to protect the vulnerable you make yourself vulnerable too: you beg your old love for asile, for recognition and reconciliation.

You dare utter the words… your heart belongs to him.

You watched as he shattered everything, every last bit of your once human heart. It lays there, for everyone to see how beauty earned you nothing but labor at the end.

The siren’s call promise you salvation. So you answered it, and ended up in chains. Without hope, you just wait for the ending.

The winged male with ivy in his strong hands. He’s there again. You thought you had seen him in a dream, but his arms feels very real once he saves you.

“You came for me.”

He cradled you in his chest. His strong armor gives you comfort. He smells of cedar and mist, and soothe something inside you. It’s familiar.

It gives you hope. And you feel so grateful for his presence that you kiss him, openly. Such a dare move for a lady, but it doesn’t matter, because he saved you. He saw you, repeatedly, and then he saved you.

So you see him too.

From his deeply scared hands to his afflictions and recurring headaches.

You learn his favorite baked goods - raspberries scones. His favorite tea. You invite him to the garden and show him your plans for it - for the future. His calming presence gave you hope for it, to plan for a future. In this new body, new essence.

Life doesn’t go as fast as before. Not by flashes. Your heart swells everyday with his presence.

It’s familiar.

Like a long lost tale you heard before.

They keep reminding you you’re claimed, by another. But it’s wrong. Fate just failed you all your life, why obey willingly once again?

Because those ivy hands brushing your fingers? That feels right. His presence in the garden, longing glances through the kitchen’s window: these feels right.

You dream then. Of his hands, first. Touching you freely, the ivy surrounding your body in a heated embrace. You wake up breathless, yearning for him.

Such dare move for a lady to take those steps, in the longest night of the year.

You reach for him. And, thank to all Gods, he offers you the long dreamed promise and you give him permission to make it real. To take it all.

“This was a mistake.”

He murmured the words and vanished in the shadows.

Something inside you, something you didn’t know to still have, breaks with those words. The other half, he takes with him without knowing.

Cruel fate fails you once again. If you’re an oracle as they said, how could you misinterpret the signs? You wish you could hide in the shadows too.

During the day, you fell like drowning in the absence of that long lost tale.

But at night… you still dream of ivy. Everyday.

Heated longing ivy dreams.

[thestrangeblob]

the way that piece of fucking shit Greyson would be right with his “you belong to him” bs if elucien happens. NEVER ladies and ladies. I truly think that miss “the boys take a backseat in my books” sjm would never have written those words if she wanted elucien to be endgame.

they way elain choosing azriel and azriel choosing elain would be a gargantuan F you to that filthy stinky Greyson is all I need to see. like miss girl has the hottest man on the planet wrapped around her finger and her crusty ex will be screaming crying throwing up I fear😌

[arcturustarlight]

Oh, and by the way, Azriel's attention was on my sister, a polite, bland smile on his face, is no where near romantic first meeting as some people want it to be. Not to mention how it's so far away from Azriel's original personality.

[lurkinggirlie]

Elain’s feelings

I know that people always focus on Azriel’s feelings in the bonus, which is understandable considering it was in his POV. But Elain’s feelings are clearly shown there too. For example:

She extended the wrapped gift, her hand shaking. "Here."

Her hand shaking

Her hand SHAKING

SHAKING.

Elain is so down bad for Azriel something as simple as handing him a gift got her hand shaking. We simply can’t ignore how Azriel makes her feel, it’s shown in the actual book as well as ACOFAS, a bonus can’t erase that. She’s so cute I love her and I CAN��T wait for her POV. She’s so precious.

[chairofchaos]

51 pls bestieee - maybe a neschei 👀👀 or azris

(hehhehehe)

This does contain prompt 1, but prompt 51 had too much potential with Azris for me to let it go. Since you have given me such latitude in what I write for you, I offer you a work with two of my favorite pieces of music. This is what I listened to (and imagined them dancing to!) while I wrote this drabble. Also, it is slightly over 1000 words but I'm still counting it as a drabble. Enjoy!

xxx

Still, They Dance | Azris Drabble

The music of the chamber orchestra drifted out to meet them on the front steps of the event hall. The last of the guests had trickled out the door, but Eris Vanserra still wanted one thing out of his mating ceremony.

“May I have this dance?” he turned to offer a hand to the male standing at his side. Azriel turned, lowering his hand raised in parting to their guests, and smiled. 

“You’ve had many,” Azriel grinned, placing his hand in Eris’. “And I would never deny you another.”

Eris turned, guiding Azriel back inside. “I lied when I told you I hired them for four hours. They’re here until midnight, or until we get tired.”

Azriel’s shadows swirled about their hands, but their master said nothing, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

“Did you enjoy it all?” Eris broke the silence as they approached the ballroom’s doorway.

“Yes,” Azriel nodded. “More than I even thought I would. Did you?”

Eris grinned as they stepped into the candlelit hall. “More than I can express.”

As they returned, the harpist’s opening arpeggio led the instrumentalists in a beautiful, arching piece of music. Eris placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder and smiled. Azriel leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Eris’ temple as the music grew and breathed about them. “Ready?” he whispered. One of his hands settled at Eris’ waist, the other lifting Eris’ free hand into position.

 Eris smiled, though Azriel couldn’t see him. “Always.”

They began to dance, Azriel leading them through the steps of the dance they had first danced publicly the previous spring at Nyx’s fifth birthday party. The music was over far too soon, but when the couple continued the steps, the conductor queued the musicians to begin the piece again. 

Three, then four times, they danced around the room, losing themselves in the music and the harmony of each other, a quiet camaraderie that had built between them in secret over the last seven decades. 

No words were said. None were needed. This, the arching give and take of the violin and the harp, the longing of their music come to fruition at last, said all they needed to say.

Once the piece had been played until each time had bled together into an extensive, living thing, they stilled in the center of the room. The music’s final cadence faded, and the musicians hesitated a moment before continuing with a new piece. 

Azriel’s hand at Eris’ hip had slowly moved to his lower back, pressing them closer and closer as they danced. Now, they stood, facing each other with chests brushing as they simply breathed in, and out, and in once more. 

Eris broke their stillness, moving to pull his hand from Azriel’s, but Azriel gripped his hand tight with a broad smile. “One more.”

Eris nodded, cheeks flushing a deeper pink. “One more.” 

Azriel pulled him closer, resting his cheek against Eris’ before beginning to lead him in a slow dance, hardly moving at all beyond the gentle swaying of their bodies. 

Eris willed the flames of the candles to dim slightly, casting the room in a fainter glow. His thoughts wandered. He and Azriel were mated, pure and simple. The bond was accepted. They would never be separate again. And Eris was filled with an immense gratitude with the male who recognized that Eris would dance until the end of time, if he could.

The dates of their courtship had been varied, but steadily, one thing had become a tradition. On Saturday nights, Azriel would take Eris dancing. It didn’t matter where, or what kind, but Azriel would dance with Eris in taverns, dance halls, alleys outside restaurants they ate at where a quartet played, even rooftops, when they had been courting in secret. They danced.

After their first night spent together, instead of going to sleep, Azriel had all but insisted that they dance ‘just one dance’, and so they had, one, then another, and another, dancing in embers of firelight kept alive only through Eris’ will until dawn broke. 

“I love you,” Eris whispered. He felt Azriel’s smile against his cheek before he heard the answering “I love you.” 

He pulled back, just enough to see Azriel’s half hooded gaze fixed on him, before drawing Azriel in for a kiss. Azriel held him, swaying all the while. Shadows drifted lazily about their shoulders, a physical manifestation of the bond which tied them together.

“To the rest of our lives,” Azriel whispered.

“Forever,” Eris answered. Azriel’s smile grew wider, and he reached up to his neck to grab Eris’ left hand. He pulled it to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to Eris’ wrist, then a longer one to his palm. All the while, he held Eris’ eye contact. Eris could feel the flush growing on his cheeks, the temperature between and around them slowly starting to warm as his blood stirred. 

It had been a long day, and it would be a long night. Azriel pressed a kiss to Eris’ mating ring before pressing one last long kiss to his palm and stepped back, tilting his head. ‘Time to Go?’ his gaze asked.

Eris nodded. “Thank you.” 

Azriel smiled.  “You never need to thank me for loving you.” 

Eris smiled in return. Azriel swept Eris into his arms, wrapping them in his wings and kissing him. Eris leaned into his muscular mate, hands fisting in his tunic. Azriel cradled his face in his hands, tilting his head to deepen their kiss before they broke apart, panting.

“I love you,” Eris said.

“I love you, too,” Azriel grinned, kissing him again. Then he began to slowly walk them towards the door, pressing kisses all over his mate’s face as he did so.

“Thank you!” Eris called in the direction of the musicians. They said nothing, but Eris could hear them begin to talk quietly among themselves. It sounded as though they were amused.

“Let them talk,” Azriel murmured. “Let’s go.”

Eris laughed. “Alright, alright. Come on, you big Illyrian baby. Let’s go to bed.”

Azriel pulled back, his darkened eyes filled with affection. “To bed.”

It was not an end, but a beginning. The ceremony had been the end of a movement in an orchestration that would last centuries, through the phrases and phases of life. And all the while, come high or low, they would dance.

xxx Taglist: @ninthcircleofprythian @c-starstuff-man0 @dusk-muse @lilah-asteria

[shittalkingwiththesuriel]

I’ve had enough of this…

I NEED some type of update on ACOTAR 6

✨ Manifest with me ✨

[briaberri]

Elain does dopamine dressing: los azules

Serenity, stability, inspiration, wisdom, reliability, spirituality, and the whole expanse of the sky. I think Elain loves all colors, but finds a particular solace in the same as her soul singer's. #everelriel

[jmoonjones]

🩷

I stand by each costume decision.

[acourtofquestions]

Since (haven’t read CC yet) 3 Maasverse main characters thus far are artists in one way or another (something I love in fandoms and especially these/Maasverse)

With:

Aelin the musician (composer/piano forte player) & appreciator of the arts. Fashionista. & semi-ballerina.

Nesta the dancer (a lil lovely scene tidbit I thought was freeing and mostly fun)

And of course Feyre THE Artist (& best example as this is crucial to how she sees the world).

Especially with the latter 2 in ACOTAR & our Archerons; even their father was a wood carver/sculptor… (let’s stick with the latter phrase… cause it’s too soon for carver to be heard as anything other than CREEPY “bone carver”😅) … so that leaves us with one; Elain.

Random HC here but: what if Elain’s a singer?

Specifically thought of this because of a certain other “singer in the series” ;-) *psst* Azriel the “shadowsinger” cause while I know that’s not what they meant, it sounds fun to me :-)

[elliemarchetti]

Gwynriel Weeks Day 5

I know today's prompt for @gwynrielweeksofficial was domestic life, and I kind of respected that, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to write this sort of fake dating AU

Prompt: Domestic Life

Words: 1064

Azriel opened his eyes slowly, annoyed by the pale sunlight coming through the decorative curtains. He had overslept, a unique occurrence, but the worst part was that he wasn't recognizing his surroundings. The room was too small, the bed definitely not his, and the light wooden door located in the wrong place, too close to the window, beyond which voices speaking an unknown language chattered softly. Instinct told him to sit up, to make sure there was no danger, and to chase away whoever was daring to peek into his privacy, but a familiar weight on his chest and left arm glued him to the mattress, its warmth comforting for both his body and his spirit.

“Good morning,” a female voice, still drenched in sleep, murmured, and Azriel remembered everything. The mission that could have resulted in a disaster, the cover story Gwyn had invented on the spot, the kind family that had found them on the borders, his injuries, and the priestess desperate plead for help. He heard her say they were a couple of diplomats returning from Vallahan, who had been tasked with managing delicate commercial relations but had been followed by criminals who had almost killed them.

"All for a stupid necklace," she had said, probably showing the pendant whose original recipient was in Prythian, in the arms of her red-haired mate. The lesser Fae believed her, and accompanied them to their village, where Azriel could wait for his right wing to recover.

“You were lucky,” their healer, a tall, lanky creature with long straw-blond hair, had told him. “If they had hit you closer to the shoulder I wouldn’t have known how to save your ability to fly.”

Azriel had shuddered at the thought, and Gwyn had immediately approached him, placing a delicate hand on his muscular arm. She had reassured him, and caressed his face, just like a worried lover. When she had left him alone to rest, she had returned with their hosts to the living room, which also served as the kitchen, and had helped them prepare dinner. They had given her a simple dress, a little worn but still her size, and an apron to avoid getting dirty, into the large pocket of which she had immediately begun to stuff fresh herbs from the small garden in the back. She had put her hair up in a soft braid, and had laughed and joked with the little ones at home, who had the same teal eyes as her and the dark skin of the Summer Court’s inhabitants.

“I would like to have wings like your boyfriend,” the youngest had told her. “So I could beat the other kids in running races.”

She hadn’t denied that their bond was romantic, she hadn’t shown the slightest sign of discomfort at the idea, and even though Azriel knew he didn’t deserve her, he kept spying on her from the crack of the door she had left open, and had listened to her tell to the youngling that even though she didn’t have wings, she was still the fastest among her friends.

Three nights had passed since that day, and although he was starting to get better and no longer felt strong pangs of pain when he tried to stretch his shoulders, he knew he couldn’t resume the mission. Gwyn had helped him with this too, to understand where to start again, how to contain the damage, but above all she had taken care of him like no one had ever done before. She helped him bathe, and get dressed, and she even fed him the first time he got up to eat, making him blush like a lovesick puppy. During the night she had asked him if she hadn’t gone too far, her voice little louder than a breath of wind, but he had reassured her by holding her close and giving her a long kiss on the forehead. The truth was that he liked that farce, he enjoyed the illusion of being able to have a normal life with her, a peaceful existence, where there were no wars, secret missions, enemies to face openly and allies whose loyalty had to be controlled with bargains and blackmail. If someone had told him he would have this kind of thoughts a few days earlier, he would’ve laughed in the face of anyone who dared picture him so weak, but now that he had experienced what it was like to have a normal life with the priestess, he couldn’t help but wish for a little house just for them in the middle of nothing, a place that hadn’t been given to him by Rhysand and that didn’t remind him of the past, maybe a cottage he'd built with his own hands, though he wasn’t sure they knew how to make something so pure. For her, he could’ve learned. With her, perhaps he could forget the horrors of his childhood, and ennoble those bastard origins without being someone’s torturer. He was grateful to Rhysand for everything he had done for him, for saving his life and offering him food and shelter and protection, but working for him inevitably took away the daily life he longed to share with a partner. He could already imagine her walking around the house barefoot, relaxed, the smell of stew in the air and a child or two jumping around asking when dinner would be ready. For centuries, Azriel had been adamant on the issue of offspring: he had a terrible father, and he wasn’t going to be the same for an innocent creature. But with Gwyn…

“Everything okay? Are you feeling sick?” she asked, propping up on one elbow to get a better view of his face, and Azriel wondered what kept him from digging his hand into the flaming cascade of hair that had escaped from the silk tie, forming a puddle of harmless fire on his naked chest, to kiss her senseless. Decency and fairness would’ve been the right answer, but it was fear and guilt, so he just shook his head and told her he was simply hungry.

“I’ll go get you something for breakfast,” she murmured, and as if nothing had happened, as if sleeping together and being so close had been the most natural thing in the world, she got up, heading towards a kitchen that wasn’t theirs but could’ve been.

[casuallivi]

Elriel Month 2023. Prompt 2: Language of Love (Physical Touch) @elriel-month

Tiny pink petals fell over midnight curls, fanned by thick dark lashes to land on the dark collar of his shirt, night-chilled mist and cedar turning out to be a curiously good addition to the syrupy sweet scent of the cherry blossoms getting swayed by the wind.

She watched his eyes wrinkle at the corners, a full set of white teeth infecting her with his joy, hands that used to curl at his side, to avoid touching her, now firmly pressed to her lower back, holding her close, never letting go.

"Kiss me."

He never kissed her straight on the mouth. No. His lips wandered, peppering her forehead, cheeks and nose with equal measures of adoration, contouring her face with tender kisses, only reaching for the final destination when she was breathless and impatient, second away from begging.

Elain wasn't above begging.

Azriel had never been either.

There was nothing shameful where the two were involved. Nothing forbidden. Nothing off limits. Lust was too shallow of a word to describe how deeply they craved each other. Love was too small of a words to encompasses how deeply they felt for each other.

Her knees wavered at the sensation of his lips nearing hers, his hold changing from secure to desperate, the tree bark digging uncomfortably at her back, twigs messing her braid, prickling her scalp. Elain couldn't care less. Not when his tongue darted outside, tracing the seam of her lips, meeting with hers in a slow, wet, and deliberate stroke.

Azriel was a teaser.

But Elain was hungry.

The warm wave of contentment she had been feeling was violently replaced with a furiously possessive instinct rushing under her skin. Elain clung to him, finger hastily waving through his soft hair, capturing the tricky tongue quicker than he could retract. It was like watching a rope that been in poor condition for the longest time, finally snap. Unexpected, but not really. Her victory moan soon was rough as a snarl, like a wild animal staking her claim. And claim him she did.

"That sound," he faltered, voice raspy, barely there. "Do it again." The male was breathless.

Elain understood the feeling, having trouble in finding her own. Until she did.

"Make me."

Hazel eyes lit with the challenge.

Azriel had an unhealthy competitive strike, and Elain was obsessed with indulging in it. What would people say if they knew the neighborhood friendly florist was not so good of a girl? The thought made a rubor spread up her neck. Azriel dove towards her with renewed passion. And Elain received him with arms wild open. They rubbed against each other, struggling to be closer than they already were, wanting to invade each other, to be the same body, share the same flesh, have the same skin.

No begining, no end.

Just them.