#she like.... actually disturbs me
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“My amazing daughter” ❌
Too human, not dystopian enough
“my lovable creature” ✅
Unintentionally objectifying, affectionate in a dystopian way, true to the canon “pet and owner” dynamic most aliens have with their pet-humans, “Aliens can never truly understand humans they are two different species”

#alien stage#alnst#It felt kind of disturbing to me but yk i can’t blame her#It’s better than “worth the loss” or “weapon” tsk#its kind of similiar to how we regard out pets. actually.#i bet aliens and humans dont have the same perception on love and affection#but its a trait that everyone and everything has...i think#the fact that shine tries. id never doubt she loved mizi to some capacity#but she couldnt...*love* mizi like a human parent#she will always be mizis mother to me though#i mean just look at how much she cared#the sentiment is still there so. i love it. *wipes tear*#“loveable” but not “loved” Shine could and would love mizi if she could
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I believe the king of Wessex cares for you.
#Alfred cares for uhtred from the very beginning i will die on this hill#bc why wouldn’t he?????#it just god doesn’t allow him to care but HE CARES#to the extent that he as a king shouldn’t be#he didn’t even want to mention the holyground being disturbed thing AT ALL#he needed to bc law is law but he DIDN’T#it was Ælswith who did the work#and alfred was like nooooo why did you say it aloud#now this is not blaming Ælswith she solely did what her husband couldn’t#I LOVE HER FOR THAT#and alfred actually wanted to let uhtred pass by giving an apology#not just that he DID try to stop godwin#but uhtred forced his hand to punish him by killing the priest in front of everybody#and if you look at his expression at the moment you can see it was clearly saying ‘i dont want to do it but you’ve left me no choice’#im rewatching tlk again so I’ve got tons of gifs to share lol#the last kingdom#tlk alfred#alfred x uhtred#uhtred x alfred#david dawson#king alfred#alfred the great#uhtred#alhtred#tlk aelswith#leofric#tlk iseult#my gifs
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grace chasity reads both testaments
#this is a bisexual christian joke#i hope this is clear :) i am the target audience :)#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#grace chasity#canon? idk canon is dead i devoured its soul#like girl has had one crush she acknowledged at 18#and - projecting my personal experience here - i absolutely liked girls *and had gay dreams about them* but didn't let them register with m#like i had full-on dreams about kissing girls and. refused to let myself think that made me queer??? just 'that's probably my subconscious'#'wanting to disturb me or something but i'm not actually bi'#and the crushes on them i had#also. i think it's fully possible she liked a girl and killed her a couple of years ago. (on purpose). but she doesn't feel bad bc that gir#was also queer! so REALLY she was preventing others from stumbling#whatever point is i think she's bi i don't care if she knows it or not#give me 3 main girls being multisexual please and thank you :D
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#bahlk#ben and holly's little kingdom#ben and holly#nanny plum#fanart#bahlk fanart#digital art#my art#little plum#Figgy#Mrs.fig#King thistle#Prince Thistle#i usually write my opinions in the tag but idk what to write here#I actually have a huge problem with the idea of Mrs.Fig hating Nanny Plum#don't get me wrong it's pretty much canon#but the idea of Mrs.figgy hating Plum when she was a child is uuuum#pretty sad and slightly disturbing to me#the thing with characters like the twins and the toddlers is#despite very clearly being naughty and chaotic#it's still acknowledged by everyone that they are just children#and they are still treated with kindness and patience by the adults#sometimes almost to a fault lol#but still#the idea that mrs.fig hates Plum when she was a little girl makes her out to be cruel#and completely takes away the notion that she's a wise and clever woman#i'm definitvely over thinking this#lol#i wish their relationship was more developed#because Figgy's the only character that might actually truly know Plum for who she is
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do we think luce did ballet
#star says#khr#luce khr#katekyo hitman reborn#Im on the fence abt headcanoning this#bc I can't tell if its the kind of thing she would do or not#its very much a toss up to me (mostly bc we don't know much about her personally)#but an art that requires insane strength balance and precision that has the ultimate effect of appearing effortless and graceful#despite how painful it can actually be?#excellent metaphor for her I think#and she needs some hobbies#I had this pretty disturbing idea once where after the curse the arcobaleno find that she has a room for everyone decorated#just the way they like it#with everything sized for toddlers bc she could see them before they met#so she can have some normal hobbies (ballet) and some slightly deranged ones (decorating her future coworkers to whom#she will be bound for life's rooms for when they are inevitably turned into toddlers)#(everyone leaves and doesn't appreciate her artistry obv)#though I do head cannon that viper left a while after everyone else managed to ditch as they were too unstable immediately after the curse#and Giglio Nero could and would provide the care they needed#which makes me think about the implications of Giglio Nero's relationship to the Arcobaleno and the Trinisette#but there's like 100 tags on this 6 word post so I will stop here
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Watching Marzgurl’s Vic Mignogna story vid with reports of him seductively whispering into other women and girls’ ears and hearing I wasn’t the only one who had their ear creepily whispered into by him (as Edward Elric for me) after an experience where I met him at FanExpo 2014 when I was 16 and female presenting at the time makes me physically ill and wanting to scream at my teenage self to get away from that autograph booth so much. Literally no other VA had done that before and being a high schooler I thought I was in heaven then. Ten years later I am glad to have recognized how not normal that was.
(more in tags)
#talky toby#no I am not actually saying he sexually assaulted me personally though we know he has others#I am saying from the lens of an adult now it was very disturbing and brushing the line of harassment#and it is horrific to hear about the harassment kaylyn went through by these istandwithvic cultists from death threats to doxxing#all in the name of this one man because he dubbed the english voice of fictional characters they liked#the lengths these people went to to protect the soured image of the andy dick of anime dubbing was quite frankly both laugahable and scary#after hearing so much more info about the situation#just what an insane shitshow the whole situation was#like one of the worst cautionary tales of how far stan and worship culture can go#I can’t imagine what kaylyn had been going through to the point she felt she was in serious danger and am so glad she seems to be in a much#better place now after going through all that
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I support the "Batman was unfairly biased to Stephanie for XYZ reasons" crowd so strongly bc DC claims that Bruce is a master planner who is able to understand anyone's psychology but he didn't realize that literally every single one of Steph's problems as a teenager would've been solved by her joining a shitty punk band. If he couldn't figure that much out then he didn't understand her for a minute
#ramblings of a lunatic#PLEASE TALK TO ME I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON STEPHANIE IN A SHITTY PUNK BAND#her bandmates have turned into ocs it's stage 5 at this point boys#anyway what is steph dealing w/ pre-52 as spoiler that got her in hot water?#1. the anger issues. easily fixed by her getting to scream about beating her dad to death without actually doing it#2. nobody fucking listens to her (including batman). well when u are playing music ppl are definitely fucking listening#3. has no non-batfam friends and thus ends up feeling abandoned almost every time she gets kicked out of the group. bandmates are friends!#don't like being in your shitty house? go to your band mates house and jam!#need to articulate the anger issues in a way that doesn't disturb your frazzled paranoid boyfriend? write angsty songs!#also I do genuinely have a lot of thoughts on how music was applied to Stephanie's character and what it tells us about her#like she loved it. clearly. and she was GOOD at it too. steph is constantly perceived as a screw up and has pretty low opinion of herself#piano was something she could take pride in. in i believe issue 113 of tims og robin series-#-tim is AMAZED at her playing all these years later. so is nocturna a few issues earlier#there's a standard visual language in comics for good or bad music- notation drawn in either shaky or smooth lines#stephs are all smooth and golden. she's good even after all these years of not practicing#but all she says to tim after he compliments her is ''i used to be better...'' SHE SEES THE WORST IN HERSELF AND HER ABILITIES#SHE DESERVES A CHANCE TO FEEL GOOD AT AT LEAST ONE THING LIKE SHE FINALLY GOT TO AS BATGIRL IN HER SOLO#and onto my final point: dinah has several times expressed some degree of fondness/admiration for steph. steph has likewise trained w dinah#and thinks she's cool as fuck. which makes sense. bc dinah is cool as fuck#and what is dinah in??? that's right. a band#steph should join dinahs band for her mental health. this has been an essay#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#dc batgirl#batgirls#<- since that series re-canonized pianist steph!! bless them!
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did another quick dhmis rewatch my thoughts are thusly:
duck and yellow friendship FOREVER I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
duck best character ever created ever invented
red guy still scares me and i had to skip the end of transport bc he made me so uncomfortable.
like somehow this rewatch made me like him LESS and he was already my least fave of the main 3
baker terry i love you goodnite
#LIKE. I STOPPED IT EVRY 5 MINUTES TO EXPLAIN TO MY BABY SISTER HOW THIS EP IS DUCK CENTRIC AND HOW THIS AND THAT#and at one point she was like yeah RG kinda got the shaft this series huh?#and i was like oh shut upp he has so many episodes. like uh. transport. and uh. idk but he HAS them ur gonna have to ask someone who#has him as a favorite#bc to ME transport ep is and always is duck and yellow have a fun cute time in the foreground while red guy loses his shit in the bg#HES JUST SO DISTURBING TO ME IN THAT EPPP#STOP SINGING DISSTRESSEDLY YOURE SCARING ME!!#STOP BEING SO DESPERATE AND RESTLESS AND AGITATED!!!#we are IN THE KITCHEN having a fun time COUNTING THINGS on the CLIPBOARD and you literally sound like ur gonna kill someone#stop !!!!!!!!! ffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!#STOP GRABBING STUFF STOP HITTING THINGS UR NOT DOING IT IN A COMEDIC WAY!!!!#scawy................#anyways dont ever watch dhmis with me im so fucking annoying about it#as a joke my sister said one of ducks lines along with him and then i just quoted him like .5 seconds before his actual lines for the rest#of jobs.#WHO CAN QUOTE DUCK THE FASTEST IS NEVER A GAME I /WANT/ TO PLAY BUT IT IS A GAME I PLAY AND WIN EVERY TIME#>:U STOP FORMING A BOND WITH THEM!!!#anyways. red guy maybe try not being so tall and big and scary and maybe ill like you better next time#my postings
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Okay so like. In general I think it's good to have multiple interpretations of how a certain plot point went if it's not explicit-- As I think that fandom hive mind is bad and can get really boring. However, I think that in general there's a difference between "multiple interesting implications of a specific ending" and "failure to read between the lines" (though this is generally pretty subjective considering stories in general all have to do with personal perception). On the second note this isn't necessarily about interpreting a story 'wrong' this is more about failure to grasp an author's intention about a scene just because it's not spoon-fed. I'm talking in circles and being overly neutral here but generally speaking, for the sake of argument, I like to treat fiction as having two parts to it that I separate (similar to how I separate what is my favorite thing from what I think is the best): How I perceive what the "real" story is/what is actually occurring entirely based on canon events and deducted subtext (I think a lot of samgirl Tumblr does this in the supernatural fandom, as an example), vs personal expansions/wider guesses based on what I think SHOULD be happening-- which might just get a bit more prevalent in my mind if I just. Think an author is making a really stupid writing decision (I do this constantly when talking about shows like disventure camp) This post is more about open discussion and I don't want to make it seem like I'm judging people
#I can actually come up with two examples of what I view as 'failure to read between the lines' both of which will make people mad.#the first one is the reason why I made this post and it has to do with seeing someone interpret Anya and Jimmy in mouthwashing#less as a situation of Jimmy sexually assaulting Anya and more that they had sex once and heavily regretting it#And. On one hand. I respect having an alternative take on non plainly stated canon events. However#I think it downplays the horror of what was going on and it makes Jimmy's actions make a lot less sense#And it also seems like it directly contradicts canon based on what Anya actually said to Curly and how she has been talking about it#ngl the more I think about it the less I like it. It feels more like headcanon than personal interpretation. which is fine but also.#that is not what happened ahahahah#The other example I know of this is Rody and Victor in dead plate since a lot of people interpret Victor's feelings for Rody as romantic#and I'm not sure if people generally think that Rody reciprocated.#I *really like them as a pairing* and I think it'd be wildly interesting if Rody reciprocated#bonus points if it awakened some underlying disturbing urges in him as well#But the thing is. The writer dev has also made it clear that she didn't actually write Victor's obsession as romantic#'they're queer but this isn't a queer romance' is the most important quote. Victor had more of an artistic fascination with Rody#Which admittedly I don't totally get. But I do acknowledge that whatever feelings Victor had for Rody#they were one sided.#I do however love exploring theoretical dynamics of what if it wasn't but alllllllsooooooo...#It does bother me that people genuinely accuse the writer of queerbaiting#Just because of what *Actually happens in the game*#punk speaks
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Seeing something related to one of ur pookies' interests and rebloging it so much ppl think you're into it>>>>>>>>
#i dont like tcoaal but my sis likes it so yh#she actually tried to get me into it but i got disturbed by the scene where they stuffed a kid in a box#and Ashley's a bitch too
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serious
i dont know how to convince my mom to not vote republican without outing myself.
its the only thing i can think of that might genuinely change her mind.
worst case scenario is that she finally knows im queer and still votes republican.
#i know my mom and i have a very close relationship but in all honesty i KNOW that if it REALLY comes down to it she WILL bail on me.#shes never been on my side for things like this. ever.#and i dont want my coming out to be over politics. i dont want to come out AT ALL.#itll be 200000x worse if the rest of my family find out though (dangerous republicans)#it might make the situation even worse than it already is.#it IS eating at me not knowing if she ACTUALLY loves me or not. the fact she knows ive involved myself in queer spaces for MOST of my life#yet STILL vehemently supports trump is. disturbing.#even more so considering our SUPPOSEDLY close relationship.#sorry i didnt mean to go this off topic. this shouldnt be about me. i just.#i dont have anyone else. i dont have anymore friends i dont have any other family to turn to. i dont have a support system.#my mom is the ONLY person i have close to me and its harrowing to think that not even SHE can truly care about me.#i dont know what to do.#hollyposts#vent
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it is direly important for me to go to the bank & deposit this check at the atm like it HAS to be done before tomorrow but HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET UP?

hello? my special princess is sleebing? it’s illegal for me to disturb her ?
#rose.txt#church#she’s actually not sleeping she’s just laying there purring#which makes me want to disturb her even less actually#she’s so content right now#but it’s 6 it’s gonna take me a while to drive there like I HAVE to go do this#bleghhhhh
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My last bout of sleep paralysis (which was when I was recently hospitalized for nine days and getting no sleep because literally almost every half hour someone was waking me up for vitals or a blood drawl or to give me medicine or to prod my stomach or the attending bringing in the interns because I'm a great case study or because my infusion pump wanted to make obnoxious noises for no reason) was so horrific that when I told my therapist about it yesterday she visibly paled and freaked out on my behalf. Is that a good sign?
#would have loved if i had been hooked up to the heart monitor at the time to see how fast my heartrate shot up while it happened#and it would have been mildly amusing to see the nurses freak out over it#coincidentally and predictably my nurse did in fact come in a few minutes later to give me my meds#at like 2 a.m. because that's just how schedules roll i guess#and she say ME all pale and bug eyed as i desperately tried to distract myself on my phone because i didn't want to fall asleep again#and when she asked me what was wrong and i told her she clucked her tongue and said honey i wouldn't want to sleep after that either#I've had four boughts of it over the last six years or so which doesn't sound like an lot but one time is enough for me#so I'm gonna ask my PCP this week for a sleep study#sleep paralysis#sleep disorder#nightmare#the art i made about the sleep paralysis disturbed my therapist but i thought it was rather mild in comparison to the actual hallucination#art therapy#sleep deprivation
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It’s not bad to like Ted and his content during this time yeah? Like is it wrong to believe in the best of him. Can admit a little is a bad look but I want to keep that’s he’s a good person and not grossly immoral.
you're not wrong for wanting to believe in the best in people, no.
you're also not wrong that there is stuff that is a little eyebrow raising, but it's all wrapped up in so much namecalling and witchhunting before there's any actual evidence to go on.
the man is barely online, he's not someone who reads every reply/@ sent his way, definitely doesn't read most - if any - of the DMs shot into his inbox, so the constant "he knows! we told him!" is a weak argument. we also do not know for a fact that he runs his own socials. the fact that this girl is also saying the most outrageous things on the planet possible, i wouldn't bet against her lying about things, but until there's solid proof or admission of communication or lack thereof, there's not a whole lot that can be said or done to prove anything there
there's the old adage "innocent until proven guilty" that i definitely abide by. i don't believe Ted is a bad man - he wouldn't have so many lifelong friends and colleagues willing to associate with him for decades otherwise - but i don't want to be the person who sticks my head in the sand and blindly refuses to accept or acknowledge bad news or reality
there's just really nothing at the moment - no smoking gun - so there's not really anything more to be done but sit and wait. and i refuse to be swept up into an internet mob, frothing at the mouth, if the man remains completely innocent - i would never, ever forgive myself for being involved, so i will continue to keep my ear to the ground but not violently denounce and persecute him on nothing more than others currently grasping at straws and their own held suspicions
#do not get me wrong - it's not a bad thing to be vigilant and keep a healthy dose of skepticism#but also there is so much non-proof and seeing people willing to grab their torches and brand him awful things#is genuinely disturbing to me. like what the actual fuck#and to be like 'well he might have slept with a woman at a con and then moved on and she was sad' - don't make me laugh#that's convention life baby - those places are KNOWN to be fuckfests and that is not uncommon#and if they're both adults and its consensual then frankly it's none of my fucking business
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There's a lot that can be analysed in The Outlaws Scarlett & Browne about eugenics, actually
#and the treatment of the Other as well#not done the book yet so i don't know what the tainted actually ARE or how they came to be but on the human front#the idea of anyone having physical or mental disabilities or 'imperfections' (and those with speech impediments etc)#being not only cast out of society but also more likely to be hunted down and killed is horrifying. like. this is a society. this is a post#apocalyptic futuristic britain where it is so TERRIFYING to live in the 'civilised areas' BECAUSE they literally get rid of anything#and anyone that looks or acts or is in some way shape or form different#this is very interesting worldbuilding because it all stems from fear of the supernatural(?) beasts that the humans are afraid of#and the fear of anything that isn't 'perfectly' human#idk if jonathan stroud is trying to say something particular in this area but it strikes me as a rather interesting story to tell in our ti#time#the people who are different and 'less' human (i.e. albert and ettie) are shown to be just as precious and nuanced and worthy of love#as the townspeople#on that note the idea that joe is trying to protect his toddler granddaughter because when the townspeople#find out she's mute they'll come after this child is deeply deeply disturbing and i'm glad that stroud really isn't#afraid to show his young readers the depth of how disturbing this kind of thinking is#reading adventures
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reasons why my local hospital is bullshit:
to see the emergency doctors, you have to walk all the way to a&e where a nurse will talk to you for three minutes and immediately send you back to the emergency doctors
reasons why my local hospital is cool:
theres a baby in the waiting room whos crying sounds like a raptor
#personal#kai rambles#nhs#i guess?#im just ranting because like#im here because ive been ill for like over a month and cant go back up to where i live because i dont want to just infect everyone there#plus the illness has been fucking with taking my meds and i know the best chance i have for getting back into the routine#is to be at my moms where she will call me out on it#and because of it#i cant go see my gp#so i have to go to an emergency/walk in same day doctor#and im here because i have had blocked sinuses i have lost my voice ten times i have thrown up on more days than i havent this year#i feel faint i have abdominal pain and my coordination is worse than normal#i also am having lots of issues with visual disturbances like things in my peripheral vision seemed to be moving by themselves#because i cant take my meds for it#and so to actually see someone for help with this i have to come here#where ive already had to do like fifteen minutes of walking with sll thst going on#fuck
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