#she just appears unexpectedly and i love her every time •^v^•

[cornbread-but-cringey]

[ID: an extraordinarily pixelated and blurred photo of what appears to be a kitten. end ID]

Been thinking about when i played minecraft when i was a kid for the first time and my favorite block was sandstone and now that there's so many blocks more my fav block is ever changing

[tonowaritrash]

I’ve never done an ask before, but I’d love to see a smut fic of young Tonowari with reader. Where she thinks he’s going to be with Ronal so she tries her best to avoid him, no matter how hard he tries to get her attention. Then her heat starts unexpectedly when he finally gets a hold of her so she runs away, but he follows her fed up with the running. Finds out she’s in heat and wants to mate with her but she thinks it’s just a duty to him as future chief. Hopefully this makes sense in some way.

A HEAT FIC! YES! nonny i hope your dreams come true

slightly different turn of events at the end, for added drama, but the spirit is the same methinks.

pairing: tonowari x reader

tags: heat, feelings of inadequacy, p in v sex, praise, gentle dom!tonowari if you squint, porn with feelings

a/n: this fic…it ran away from me

minors dni

it’s not that you’d wanted to avoid tonowari, not truly anyway. you’d grown up together as your parents were close to each other, and he’s always been protective over you. fussing over whether you were truly ready for joining the others for hunts, giving other men a glare when they’d approached you, soothing you when you cried about whatever had hurt you that day. but he was like that with your siblings too, and all his friends really. the treatment you got wasn’t special but every softly spoken assurance, every gentle smile, every soothing touch, even, had taken a hold on your heart.

but you couldn’t do anything about it. he would soon take over as olo’eyktan and all the tribe whispered and gushed about how ronal would be the perfect tsahik. and who could blame them? she was fierce, intelligent, loyal, loving and dedicated to the tribe. the younger members often sought her out for guidance when they were too scared to go to elders.

it only made sense, then, that tonowari spent less time with you as time went on. as you got older and more mature you’d noticed how he and ronal were often nowhere to be seen. you wouldn’t dare impose yourself upon them. it just didn’t feel right. no matter how much your heart ached for him.

so when he appeared in front of you while you and the tribe were deciding hunting parties for the day you were surprised. he was smiling, turquoise eyes sparkling. “looks like we’ll be together for the day,” he said.

you nearly frowned, having not heard the olo’eyktan’s announcement of parties during your musings. ronal had apparently been assigned to another one.

“just like old times, eh?” he asked.

you nodded, forcing a smile. you couldn’t hunt with him. it would hurt too much to have him fuss over you when you were like this.

he gave you an earnest look and placed a hand on your shoulder. “listen, i-“”

suddenly someone called out to him and he turned to see his father, a dear friend of the oloeyktan, motioning for him.

tonowari looked at you apologetically. “we’ll talk on the hunt,” he promised.

again, you could only nod and sighed in relief when he left. the place he had touched you burned and your heart seemed to think your chest was a drum.

quickly you ran to find another close friend of yours before the hunt started.

you found him sharpening a spear, face contorted in concentration.

“not now,” he muttered, immediately knowing it was you. “i gotta get this ready before we head out.”

“switch hunting parties with me,” you blurted in a rush.

ralak sighed and placed the spear down. “what’s this about?”

“nothing, i…” you paused and gulped, nothing how shaky your breath was. “i just…the west side of the reef isn’t that pretty this time of year is all.”

ralak studied you steadily before sighing and continuing with sharpening his spear. “fine. but you owe me.”

you beamed and hugged him. “thanks!”

“yeah, yeah.”

-0O0-

the hunts were successful and without incident. tonowari had managed to catch a large fish that would feed the tribe well for two nights. the celebration was boisterous and the cheerful sounds of your fellow metkayina floated into the night sky.

there were drums being beaten on steadily and flutes were played as the tribe danced. you were sitting next to ralak who was telling you about the hunt and how tonowari had led them, speaking above the roar of the fire and the songs being chanted.

you laughed along at his tale, only to be distracted by a glimpse of tonowari who was making his way through the crowd as though looking for someone. your eyes caught each other and a smile graced his face before he made his way to you, causing your good mood to sour immediately.

“i need to go,” you said suddenly, standing up.

ralak was surprised but didn’t say anything, only offering a small wave. you smiled back reassuringly and melted into the crowd. the whole tribe was there so it was easy to blend in and have tonowari lose track of you.

you turned and saw him speaking to ralak with a quizzical look but saw ronal approaching them as well. you heart lurched and your eyes burned, hot tears threatening to fall. you looked away before you could see them talk to each other and made your way back home.

the night air was cooler now that you were away from the flames, but you noticed your body was still quite warm. a dull ache, barely noticeable, sat at the bottom of your stomach.

it was early symptoms of a heat, but it was still days away. your scent hadn’t changed yet, ralak would have pointed it out if it did, so it wouldn’t be a problem for another few days.

-0O0-

“so will you tell me what’s wrong now?”

two days later you were sitting with ralak at a cliff, taking in the breeze and watching the waves crash into stone below you. the day was warm and you were sharing fruit between the two of you.

“i don’t know what you mean,” you said coolly before taking a bite. the fruit was juicy and you wiped your mouth when you felt some of it trickle down your chin.

ralak gave you a pointed look, clearly unimpressed. “i’m not stupid, you’ve been avoiding tonowari for months, now. what’s going on?”

you frowned at him. ralak was always so observant, wise beyond his years it seemed too. “i haven’t been avoiding him.”

he clicked his tongue and shook his head as he stared into the horizon. the sea was so beautiful like this, glinting under the bright light of the star in the sky. he was concerned, but he didn’t prod.

“your heat’s coming,” he murmured now.

you choked on the fruit that was currently in your mouth at his bluntness. “you can’t just…a little tact, please!”

he chuckled. “there’s no one here, and i can guarantee everyone in the tribe will be able to smell it on you in about a day too.”

the only reason ralak knew was because he was around you so much. when people were close to each other it was far easier to smell the subtle differences in scent.

“so? any plans to have someone help you?”

“are you volunteering?” you teased, but the look he gave you was a serious one. you shook your head. “i’m used to going at it alone.”

“you sure?” he asked. “you were joking but i don’t mind helping you, you know. i get…i just…” he trailed off, wringing his hands.

you knew what he would say, and you were flattered really. heats were a difficult time and usually it was encouraged at an unmated woman have a trusted friend help her through it until she was bonded. going at it alone wasn’t impossible but it was harder.

“i’m used to it,” you reassured. “don’t worry about me, ralak.”

he shook his head again, though not at you it seemed. perhaps at something he himself was thinking. “alright. but you’re gonna have to find a mate soon.”

when the two of you arrived back at the tribe, eclipse was close at hand. ralak left, mentioning something about spears again before giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze as though to reassure you.

you were alone in the bustle of the village and tried to find something to keep your mind busy for the rest of the day.

before you could even think however, you bumped into tonowari who steadied you before you could fall. his hands were hot against your skin and you jumped away.

“you alright?” he asked. “i was looking for you.”

you looked up at his concerned eyes and could feel your stomach curl in on itself. “i…i’m fine. i need to go—”

“i wanted to talk to you about something,” he said, quickly grabbing your wrist before you could make your escape.

that touch seemed to burn through you, your heart raced and you could feel your skin getting hotter by the second.

no, this wasn’t right. your heat wasn’t due for another couple days at the very least. you didn’t even have a strong scent yet. what was this? what was happening?

“i really need to go,” you said again, fighting with yourself to move away from him.

his eyes narrowed in concern. “what’s…” but after a moment he inhaled deeply and his eyes widened.

you used this moment to break away from him and ran to the other side of settlement where the heat huts were. your heat was coming early and since you were unmated, it would be difficult to handle it at home especially because you were so unprepared.

seeing ronal at the front, tidying up almost made you trip in surprise.

she looked up at you and frowned before ushering you inside without another word, closing the curtain behind her as she did. this hut was in the shade for most of they day, making heats somewhat bearable, and you were relieved at the cool air against your skin.

“it’s early,” she said muttered, smelling you.

“i was fine thirty minutes ago, i swear.”

she tutted and fussed about you, bringing you water and a plate of food, ever the picture of calmness as you fidgeted, already feeling a wetness soak through your clothes. the cramps were beginning and you squirmed and the uncomfortable sensitive feeling you had in your intimate parts.

“relax,” she said. “i’ll leave in a moment but i’ll be close by. do you have anyone helping you through this?”

you shook your head and she nodded. normally people didn’t go there if they had someone to help them.

“i’ll come in every few hours to give you food and water,” she said. “if you need anything, tell me.”

she left you then and you were alone inside a hut in the early throes of a heat. it didn’t take you long for you to start touching yourself, eyes pricking at the feeling of pressure against your clit. it didn’t take long for you to come either from how sensitive you were, slick gushing out of you as you gasped.

it wasn’t nearly enough, you knew that, and you whined, lying back now and putting two fingers inside. you were burning everywhere, and it was almost unbearable.

the world around you because a blazing haze as your thoughts melted together. your fingers thrust into you pathetically and you whined as you squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to think it was someone else doing it. imagining soft words of praise and affirmation and strong arms cooling away the burning as you were thrusted into.

“that’s it,” the imaginary voice said, softly. “take my cock. that’s a good girl.”

you sobbed, you walls squeezing around empty space sound your fingers. “wari, please,” you said softly. “wari, need you please. please.”

and you came again. but something was clearly wrong. everything still burned. there wasn’t the usual respite, the moments of calm in a frenzy. your mind was foggy and your cunt still dripping and wanting. it burned, it all burned.

-0O0-

it was like this for two days. you could barely sleep from the heat and eating was difficult. ronal expressed her concern the first time she checked in on you and noticed you hadn’t touched the water, and now she seemed genuinely frightened.

you were too. your heats usually calmed down after the first three days, but it seemed only to worsen as time went on.

you whispered tonowari’s name repeatedly, his figure was the only one you saw when you fell into one of your fantasies. but he wasn’t there and every time you realised this, you cried.

right now, though, you were on your hands and knees, ass up as you fucked your fingers. vaguely you heard loud whispers floating into the room. you couldn’t tell what was being said, and you didn’t care as you whined at the burning feeling.

“need you, wari,” you mumbled as imagined him taking you from behind. “hurts so bad.”

you could hear the sound of cloth moving and footsteps somewhere far away. you didn’t pay it mind, however as slick gushed out of you once more and tears fell from your face. it just wasn’t enough.

you heard your name being called and you looked, peering through the haze at the voice. it sounded so real, was your imagination really that strong?

“look at you,” the voice said, concerned. you saw tonowari kneeling next to you and you squinted.

“wari?” you asked and you reached out. his skin was cool under your palm, soothing, like a gel on a burn. “you’re here?”

“i’m here sweet girl,” he said, cupping your face. “gonna take care of you.”

something in your brain raised alarm bells and you would have protested but his hands were so cool, they offered the only respite you’d had from the burning from the last three days.

without any delay, he replaced your fingers with his own and —oh!—it was…it felt…

you sobbed at the way his fingers felt inside you, stretching you and curling into you. it was infinitely better already, they were so thick and long.

he swore at the slick that came out of you and licked it off your thighs. you shivered as he trailed it up, lapping at everything before giving you cunt a long lick.

it was like an explosion erupted through you as he circled your clit with his tongue. then he gave it a tentative lick and you came, the haze and the fog in your mind clearing somewhat.

he licked you clean before straightening himself behind you. “gonna fuck you now,” he promised. “gonna make it feel better, okay, sweet girl?”

you barely answered before he thrusted into you. the feeling was incredible, you had no idea that you could feel like this during a heat.

“fuck,” he said softly. “fuck, you’re so perfect around me. you’re so tight.”

you felt him grip your hips tighter as though to control himself.

“wari, gonna cum,” you sobbed. “wanna cum on your cock.”

he grunted at that and gave two particularly hard thrusts which made you cum harder than you’d ever in your life. he swore as slicked rushed out of you and came inside you soon after.

the fog cleared enough that you were lucid and you blinked, turning to tonowari who lay down next to you in exhaustion.

“wari? it’s you?”

he nodded. “it was easy to convince ronal since your heat had gotten bad. why didn’t you ask for help?”

“i…” you trailed off. “ thank you, for coming here.”

he nodded and helped you sit up. a bowl of water was at your lips before you knew it. “you need to drink.”

you did so happily, but the ache in your heart came again. he was once again fussing over you. this wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

“ronal is kind,” you said, “letting you come here.”

he looked at you quizzically. “it’s to be expected. we look out for each other as a tribe.”

again your heart panged. you couldn’t bear to look at him as he fed you some dried fruit from the bowl, but the familiar tingle began to rise again. soon your body burned once more and you are panting and whining.

the bowl was put aside as tonowari grasped your hips and manoeuvred you onto his lap. his hands cooled the unbearable heat on your skin as he reassured you.

tonowari took you while you were on his lap this time, rocking into you as you whined at keened. soft words were shared in your ear and you swore as he thrusted up into you. “good girl,” he said. “take what you need from me. there you go…”

you gripped his shoulders as you rode him, back arching as he rubbed your clit. you came again and collapsed into him as he stroked your hair.

“ralak said you were avoiding me,” tonowari said after some silence. “he didn’t say why but…” he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “i was worried, truly.”

“you and ronal need to focus on each other.”

“ronal and i?”

you nodded and he frowned. “you’re just as important. you should have said your heat was going to be bad.”

you smiled now. “even now the future olo’eyktan thinks of his people. i’m impressed.”

“i’m not…this isn’t…” he paused to collect his thoughts. “i’m doing this because you’re…i…fuck. i want to.”

you’d never seen him look so frustrated and you were all the more confused for it.

he saw your expression and furrowed his brow, thinking deeply. then as though he’d made up his mind, he kissed you.

it took you by surprise. normally it wasn’t necessary for people who helped during heats to kiss, at least that’s what you’d heard. but this kiss, it soothed you, and you relaxed as tonowari wrapped his arms around you. it was nice and you felt as tonowari let a content purr out, a thing you’d never heard him do. you broke apart and he trailed some kisses down your neck, suckling softly at your collar bone.

it seemed like he genuinely enjoyed this, that he cared. about you. but that wasn’t right. ronal she was just outside…

“wari, i can’t…ronal might…”

he paused. “ronal?”

you fidgeted. “she’ll be your tsahik. you’ll be mated, it’s not fair to her.”

he blinked, and a rush of understanding washed across his face. “ronal and i…we’re not together.”

the words were like a punch in the gut. “what?”

“she’s helping me get more in tune with eywa,” he said. “i thought it would be good for me once i’m olo’eyktan.”

you took a shaky breath. “but she’s…so perfect. everyone thinks so.”

he chuckled. “she would be a formidable tsahik. but she’s not…” he sighed, rubbing your hips. “how could i mate her in a world where you exist?”

you gaped at him, the familiar heat returning now. you pushed it down, pushed away the hazy fog that came with it. “i don’t understand.”

he hummed, taking your hands. “how do i say this…? i see you. i see only you. it’s always been you.”

you understood the words fundamentally, yes, yet they made no sense. “you’ll be olo’eyktan.”

“yes.”

“i don’t—wari, it’s not me. please, don’t do this. my heart can’t take it. don’t lie to me like this. it’s hard enough that you’re with me during my heat.”

he kissed you again and you reciprocated. his lips trailed down to your neck and suckled and you gasped as he nipped your skin.

“it’s always been you,” he whispered.

you lay back against the blankets as he licked your torso. he gently cupped one of your breasts and sucked the nipple.

your back arched, skin alight with soft flames as he made his way down to your now sopping core. he kissed your lower lips once before straightening himself and stroking his erection.

you whined out for him as he teased your entrance with his tip. finally he slowly entered you, stretching you out. the brain fog that came with your heat was minimal and you felt all of him.

he rocked into you slowly, bending over to kiss you again as he moved his hips. your cries were swallowed by him and a shiver shot through you when his tongue explored your mouth.

the pace was slow and deep as his mouth trailed down to suck your breast, to nick at your neck, to kiss your shoulder, to worship your body as he gave you soft praises.

“my good girl,” he said. “my sweet girl.”

his words caressed you and the pressure in you rushed out. you trembled in his arms as a powerful orgasm shook you.

“yes, just like that,” he grunted, moving a bit faster now. “can you do it again? cum like this?”

you nodded, already feeling the telltale signs of another orgasm tingling in you.

“good,” he said before kissing you again.

he groaned as he felt you squeeze his cock with your walls. “just like that, yes, good girl.”

you were absolutely drunk on his cock, loving how it got harder the more turned on he got. it felt far too good.

“gonna cum wari,” you whined.

“cum for me, sweet girl. makes me so happy to see you cum,” he said.

you came again, the pleasure so great you saw only white. you heard tonowari swear as his rhythm stuttered, biting into your neck before he came inside of you.

the bite was hard, but didn’t hurt. not too much. but it took you a minute to realise what he had done, to realise he marked you as his.

he kissed you for what felt like the millionth time, deeply, feeling every part of you with his hands as though committing your body to memory. you kissed back, heart feeling light for the first time in what felt like months.

“it’s always been you,” he said when he broke the kiss. “i’ve wanted to ask for ages but i never could.”

you caressed the bite mark, it was a promise, a vow. “how long?”

he chuckled. “from the moment i met you, i think. it was admiration back then, but when we got older…”

you laughed at how similar you were. at how silly you’d been. but that feeling of unworthiness, it lingered still.

“i’m not…”

“you don’t have to be,” he reassured. “it’s always been you, remember. and it always will be.”

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 3

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse,  unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking

Part 3

Joel stared blankly at your door. His breathing was heavy, and his hands moved restlessly and clenched into fists. He wanted to start knocking, banging on the door, and screaming. He wanted to know more about his baby boy. He wanted to argue with you, but at the same time, he didn't want his son to associate him with evening arguing. He didn't want Teddy to be afraid of him.

He finally came home and locked himself in his room. He slept little in the night, still thinking about what he had learned and… He didn't agree with you. He was Teddy's father. Whether you wanted it or not, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant without him. No matter how small and bad a part of him was, he had a part in it. And he knew he would be a good father to his son, just as he was to Sarah. He may not have always been perfect, but he could love and show fatherly love. He wanted to look after Teddy. He just didn't know how. He suspected you'd stop him every time he tried to get close.

So all he had to do was watch the boy from a distance.

Almost 3 weeks after he found out about his son, he saw a scene that made his blood boil.

He had just returned from a patrol with Barbara. He was beginning to suspect that Maria kept connecting him whit this idiot on purpose because she could see how much he hated her.

Suddenly, the woman laughed and murmured, "This little son of Y/N is such a weakling."

He shot her an angry glare, then looked at the scene that was playing out a few meters away. Two boys, older and taller than Teddy, laughed at him as he tried to take his stuffed bunny away from them.

"Weakling? Is that what you call a child who is the victim of two bullies?!" He looked at her with contempt. "But what do you know about children? You're too old for your own. Which is lucky, because you'd obviously make a terrible mother!"

The woman opened and closed her mouth, and he moved quickly to the children. He snatched the stuffed animal from the boy's hands and growled: "Are you having fun? Why don't you try it with me."

Only then boy's mother appeared, who had previously been standing with another woman a few meters away, step in.

"What's going on?! They're just having fun."

"Play? Rather, they bully the younger child."

The woman snorted and looked at him indignantly. "How dare you." She reached out to her sons. "Boys, we're going home."

Joel snorted, then looked softly at Teddy. The boy ran to him and with a big smile took his bunny.

"Thank you," he said and looked at him like a hero.

Joel patted his head, but their interaction was interrupted by the woman who was the mother of the little girl.

"Teddy, we're coming back too."

The boy shook his head and suddenly snuggled up against Joel's leg, taking him completely by surprise. The woman winced slightly.

"Your mom asked me to take care of you. Come on."

"No," the little one moaned.

Joel bent down and picked the boy up. The toddler immediately wrapped his arms around his neck and it was the moment when Teddy, completely unconsciously, took over his dad's heart. Joel cleared his throat and confidently said, "I'll take care of him. I live next door to Y/N."

The woman looked uncertain, but she did not have the strength to face the childish tantrum. She shrugged and finally said, "All right."

Joel smiled and patted his son on the back. "Teddy, do you want to meet Ellie?" The little boy nodded enthusiastically. "Let's go. Do you want me to carry you?"

"Yes."

"Alright."

When Joel entered the house, Ellie gave him a surprised look. He walked past her and sat Teddy in a chair in the kitchen.

"Wait here. We'll find some crayons and paper for you in a moment."

Ellie grabbed his arm as he tried to cross the threshold. "What happened witch keeping distance?"

"Maybe it's time to break the ice." Seeing her shocked expression, he laughed a little and added: "Two boys were bullying him and I chased them away. And he stuck with me. What was I supposed to do?"

Ellie looked at the boy, who sat politely and waved his legs rhythmically. "Yes, he's cute, but what about Y/N?"

"Leave Mama Bear on my head."

"As you wish." She spread her arms and ran to the baby. "Hi, Teddy!"

The little one smiled widely and started talking to her, and Joel… Joel felt proud and happy. He had a wonderful, beautiful, smart son and he was not going to give up being his dad.

*

You were furious when Joanna told you who she allowed to take your treasure, your precious little one. You wanted to yell at her, scratch her eyes out, but at the same time, you knew that she often helped you by taking care of your child. Plus, how could she know about your hatred of Joel, from what she said, Teddy really wanted to go with him.

Ellie opened the door for you and gave you a sharp look. You knew he didn't like you, and you guessed why.

"Where is he?" you asked trying to contain all your rage.

The girl nodded and led you into the living room, your heart skipping a beat at the sight you saw. This could be the cutest picture in the world if it wasn't for the fact that your son fell asleep in this asshole's arms. Teddy looked so calm that your heart trembled. Joel was sitting on the couch with your little one sleeping on his chest, Teddy's little head resting on Joel's shoulder. You saw how protectively he held the little one and you wanted to break his arms. You moved towards him and hissed, "Give him to me."

Joel sighed heavily and whispered, "Calm down. I'll take him to your house in a moment."

You shook your head. "Give. Me. Him. NOW. And never touch him again," you hissed.

Joel rolled his eyes and muttered, "I won't hurt him."

You felt a wave of rage wash over you, and you didn't even care that Ellie was standing next to you. "You already hurt him. The moment you conceived him. The moment you ignored the fact that your dick was causing me pain."

Joel felt as if someone had punched him in the face. You took advantage of this and quickly took your son, who sleepily purred, "Mommy?"

You rubbed his back and whispered, "Shh, sleep baby."

You looked at Ellie who stared at you in shock. " I'm sorry that you heard this," you said as you walked past her and left their damned living room.

*

Ellie looked at Joel sadly. "Teddy is your son." he nodded. "And you hurt Y/N?"

Joel immediately stood up and walked over to her, but she backed away sharply, so he stopped. "What? No, Ellie... It's not like that. Y/N was an adult and... She wanted it."

She looked at him. "Really? Because it didn't sound like that at all!" He reached out to her, but she pushed him away and ran out of the house.

Joel rubbed his temples and sighed heavily. Why did he have to screw everything up? But he didn't do anything wrong. He just wanted to spend some time with his own child.

*

You put your son to bed when you heard a soft knock. You swung the door open and growled, "What the fuck..." You stopped mid-sentence. "Ellie? Sorry, I thought it was Joel.”

"Can we talk?"

Her behavior disturbed you. She didn't look like the saucy, rebellious teenager you used to see. She was more like a scared child, and your maternal instincts took over immediately. "Of course. Come on." When she came in, you put your arm around her and led her to the kitchen. "Would you like some lemonade?"

"Hmm."

You sat across from each other at the kitchen island. Ellie was silent, and you decided to break the silence. "Look, I'm really sorry. I lost my nerves. I just told Joel not to go near Teddy and..."

"Did he force you to get pregnant? Did he rape you?"

You froze at first. Ellie stared at you with sad eyes, and you realized there was something more in this question. You grabbed her hand and calmly asked, "Ellie, did someone hurt you?"

She nodded at first, but then said, "No... I mean... He tried."

You swallowed, afraid to ask if it was Joel. Part of you absolutely didn't believe it. Joel was a bastard, he was an asshole, he was a complete dick, but... Not a pedophile. You didn't know how far you could go and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

There was silence for a long time and you wanted to apologize to her when she took a shuddering breath and started saying, "It was after we left Jackson. Joel got hurt and (...)"

You listened patiently to her stories about David and his cult, how they ate people, and how he wanted to use Ellie, even force her to have children with him. You were scared and angry at the same time. The dude was worse than Joel. He was a hundred times worse dick. If it weren't for the fact that he was already dead, you would have found him and killed him yourself.

"Then Joel found me and I thought... I thought I was safe with him."

You wanted to hit yourself when you realized how Ellie read your words to Joel. You squeezed her hand tighter and said, "You're safe with him. I can say a lot of bad things about him, but Joel is not a pedophile, cannibal, or rapist."

"But you said..."

"I know what I said." You took a deep breath. "Listen to me. I was young and naive. I was in love with him and he... He didn't act like a decent guy, but he didn't rape me. I went to bed with him of my own free. Sex with him... He wasn't gentle, and in the morning he thought our night together was a mistake. He said a lot of nasty things to me and left me with a broken heart."

Ellie nodded and muttered, "He was an asshole."

"Yes."

"He's acting like that less and less." You smiled slightly at her words. "And Teddy?"

"He didn't know about him. I left Boston the next day and found out about the pregnancy while traveling."

Ellie looked down and mumbled, "I'm sorry that I thought you were a bitch."

"It's okay. I even understand you a little."

Suddenly Teddy appeared in the kitchen. He was still sleepy and rubbing his eyes with a small fist, but when he saw the teenage girl, he immediately woke up. "Ellie! Will you play with me?"

The girl looked at you, and you said, "Go ahead."

You were surprised at how well they got along. You didn't know if Ellie was affected by your son's charm or the fact that he was Joel's son, but you didn't care. You enjoyed their good relationship. By evening, Teddy had told you about how Joel helped him, and you felt a little silly. Maybe you needn't have been so hard on him. Your son obviously already loved him, not even knowing it was his dad.

You heard Ellie's quiet grunts and turned your attention to her.

"It's getting late," she said, and you nodded. "Could I stay here tonight?"

You were really surprised how quickly the relationship between you two changed.

"Of course you can, but Joel won't really hurt you."

"I know, but I'm still mad at him, for cheating me. He said you were getting revenge because he didn't want to leave Tess." You snorted annoyed. "He left out the rest."

"Okay. But you have to tell him." Ellie winced, and you sort of automatically added, "Okay, I'll let him know."

You didn't really know why you suggested it. Did it was, your motherly instinct to protect Ellie? Or did you want to stick another pin in Joel, letting him know that the teenage girl prefers you?

You couldn't back away from your words and you made your way to his house with heavy steps.

It was even funny to see how stupid Joel looked when he opened the door.

"Y/N?"

"Ellie wants to stay with me for the night. I agreed."

Joel leaned back slightly. He blinked once, then twice before he understood your words. He was sure Ellie stayed somewhere in town. When he realized she was with you, he felt uneasy.

"She talked to you?"

"Yes. She told me about David and wanted to know if you raped me." You could easily see the horror on his face. "You care about her?"

"Yes," he croaked.

"I told her the truth that I went to bed with you willingly. And that you were an asshole in the morning, but... You're not a pedophile or a rapist."

Joel's shoulders slumped and he breathed a sigh of relief. You had the opportunity to hurt him deeply. Ruin his relationship with Ellie, but as always you had a good heart.

"Thank you and… I'm sorry I took Teddy."

He surprised you, but you didn't show it. You calmly replied, "Teddy told me what you did. He thinks you're a hero."

Joel smiled slightly. "These kids were teasing him and I..." He looked at you confidently. "I am his father, Y/N. No matter how hard you try, you won't change it. And I won't abandon him. I will protect him, love him, and take care of him. You can fight me or accept my help in raising him."

You shook your head and replied, " And here is old Joel. You're trying to fix the whole world, even though you're destroying it yourself, but fine. I'll let you date him but on one condition."

"What?"

"You're not allowed to say you're his father. You can be his friend or uncle, but not 'dad'. Do you understand?"

Joel clenched his jaw and looked at you angrily. He thought you were playing unfairly, but at the same time, he really wanted to look after Teddy.

"Alright," he murmured.

"Great" you replied and smiled. Then you turned on your heel and went home pleased with yourself. You knew your requirement would hurt Joel, but you thought he deserved it. Yes, he defended your son and took care of him, but that didn't mean your wounds were healed. You still felt that Joel didn't understand how much he hurt you. So you had every right to attack him.

*

A/N: I really think after what happened in episode 8, Ellie should talk to someone.

Part II

Part IV

Taglist:   @ajeff855​, @anislabonis-love​,  @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi​,    @i-workwithpens​, @milla-frenchy​,  @quality-lust    @liatome​  @sarahhxx03 @creedslove​ @jojo-munson​ @pascalislove​​ @sofiparallel  

[kirklandsheartsecrets]

How would the bros act/react to their wife playfully being a little naughty? Like she hugs them from behind only for her hands to start feeling them up, she smacks their ass while walking pass them, she sends a dirty text during a meeting, and finally while working late in their desk she visits them to remind them to not over do it and then whispers into their ear something naughty.

So that you know, they'll be motivated to finish work fast ;)

UK brothers x reader II playful and naughty teasing

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

+18

consensual acts and characters are all +18 of course.

Wales

Hugs from behind drive him to insanity.

He loves, loves, loves feeling you behind him.

Your hands are traveling over his torso.

or lower

Dig your hands over his body and prop yourself against him.

Seduction works well with him; he is into it.

He never leaves work until the last minute, so he's probably free for this specific business related to you.

has priorities set in his life;)

You peeked your head in the living room; Dylan's silhouette was doing something near the drawer, where many savage piles of files always lay, creating a mess. The blonde's head turned around, taking note of your presence. However, the man thought you would only pass by. He didn't expect to feel your sudden warmth from behind.

Smoothly, your hands grabbed the blonde's waist, pressing your fingertips over the soft skin covered by his shirt. As if your Welsh boyfriend accepted his fate, he didn't let out a sound from his lips, waiting for your next move. Your hands relaxed, however, and they traveled up his torso, gliding over the slight curves of his muscles. Dylan lost the grip on the files he was holding, which fell messily over the edge of his fingers.

The higher your hands would reach, the tighter the space between his ass and your tights would be as they tightened and pressed against each other. You tiptoed to reach even higher, to his clavicles, only to quickly drop your hands back to his waist and furthermore reach to where his v-line started.

Most of your fingers stretched away from his skin, leaving only your index fingers to tease the hem of his pants.

Air caught up inside Dylan's throat as he felt warmth building up in his chest and face. He wondered if the blood ran directly to his pants, giving him a visible boner, or if the sensation came from your hands playing with him, feeling up every inch of his body.

Dylan reached over your hands when you started playing with the hem of his pants.

« Now... » He mumbled only for your ears.

You tiptoed again and pressed yourself against Dylan, ignoring his question, this time leaning and kissing the right side of his neck. Voluntarily breathing over his skin, goosebumps appeared instantly.

Northern Ireland

pretend to moan his name.

or whisper his name in his ears.

Add to it a sly smile.

Playful seduction always pays off.

He cannot concentrate anymore.

will cancel anything to end you right there in bed.

Meetings, appointments, you call it.

could be at home or in public  

He loves playful intimacy and usually responds by doing the same, but moaning his name in his ears is his secret spot. From the moment you moaned out his name with a smile, he was also smiling with his lips.Connor thought quickly about how he could make you pay for your naughty sounds by teasing him.

The meeting's bathroom or wait until tonight?

He wasn't going to wait when you were in the same room as him, looking irresistible. He just wanted to hear your nasty voice yell out his name over and over again now.

He felt aggressive butterflies take over his pelvis region, conscious of the blood slowly rushing to it.

He takes his phone, writing something quick over it as you two were in the middle of a meeting,

Why don't you purr like this in the bathroom while I listen with headphones?''

When you stood up and left the meeting room, Connor, I expected you to actually do it as you were wearing the dirtiest look on your face.

This only made him unexpectedly leave the meeting with a deep facial expression, heading towards the bathroom.

Ireland

One kiss over the lips is never one kiss only.

always turns out into a make-out session

and he knows it.

just as well as you do.

Of course, he also drops everything he is doing.

He didn't want to do it anyway.

pretty easy; kiss him and grind him a bit in between.

reacts positively to the signs instantly.

Sean pretended to be focused on this project, computer open in front of him, staring at the screen. He obviously wasn't; however, this project wasn't going to write itself by just staring at it. Someone employed by his boss would do it anyway.

You lightly knocked at the door of his office, entering. When you opened the door, Sean could hear the voices coming from the neighboring rooms. His boss and many others were discussing random matters loudly enough to be heard. Yet he was stuck here, writing this project, when he could just talk it out with whoever was in charge of this subject.

Naturally, after entering, you sat on him, leaning lightly for a hug. Sean's arms welcome you closer to him.

Without speaking a word, you pulled him into a kiss, perfectly conscious that Sean would turn it into the most heated make-out session right there, right now.

He sunk deeper into the chair as you deepened the kiss, taking your sweet time and waiting for him to engage deeper. Sean chose to slow down and break the kiss. He knew he was onto something when you made him extend his posture lower in the chair, only for him to lean soon enough again in. While you applied pressure against his lips, Sean's left hand found its way to your chest, and as a response, your pelvis against his thigh grinded closer. However, much to Sean's displeasure, you detached from him, leaving his head hanging towards you in confusion.

As you're leaving the room, he is quick behind you, following.

England

One naughty text is not enough.

It takes 10 of them for him to actually stop what he is doing.

This workaholic is too busy

Be straight to the point and say what you want him to do to you.

He is not patient.

you neither;)

definitely motivated to finish quicker.

There is something else he'll finish quick though.

on his mind the whole time after reading the texts.

England felt his stomach drop, followed by heat, as he saw the text bubbles appear. 11, to be precise. For a moment, the Brit thought that they would never stop. He saw them but didn't mind reading them fully, his attention sparked by the people around the parliament talking. He turned his phone the other way around, over his thigh, so he wouldn't look at it. However, the urge to check took over, so he grabbed the phone and this time unlocked it to read the texts from the start.

Arthur knew he didn't let any reaction escape his facial features, as parliament sessions are filmed.

He knew no one could see the texts, so he started reading them. In the texts, you mention with a variety of vocabulary what you wanted, but most importantly, that you wanted it quick.

Arthur is not allowed to leave parliament sessions that easily. He put down the phone again, listening (or at least trying), but his mind kept thinking of the texts you just sent him. His thoughts repeated the words over and over again, wishing time wasn't as slow as it felt right now.

Suddenly he is pressuring the talks and taking part in them. Luring his boss into pushing the session to the next day again

Finally, by the time he is out, he calls you from his office, quite frustrated because of how naughty his mind is and, moreover, that he couldn't leave sooner in the session. The journey home from the parliament added to his pent-up frustrations, which resulted in Arthur being quite rough when he came back home to you.

Scotland

Usually, no one can get around him when he works.

but you don't really care about that.

Undressing him works well.

Try to lift up his shirt or open the buttons (if he has them).

If he is wearing a button-up shirt, just leave it open enough for your hand to linger over his skin.

If his upper body is bare, he won't hold still for too long.

will finish his work first but fast just to get to his real business (you) faster.

another one who gets a boner right after

Alistair felt your presence in the room, but his concentration told him better. He had to proofread this paragraph carefully again, or his and Arthur's boss would make his next few years a nightmare.

You sat at first on the chair next to him, a loud silence taking place. You stared at your husband for two long minutes, observing his physical features. His left hand was covering his facial features from the angle you were looking at as he kept staring at the infinity of lines in front of him.

Alistair wouldn't answer you if you let a word out, as when he is reading he never replies.

However, you did notice his tense back, tightened shoulders, and lightly pressed neck while staring at him for who knows how long.Imagine the sensation he must've felt the whole afternoon in this position. It gave you back pain.

He obviously felt frustrated and bothered by this task, which has taken days and weeks to get approved, and thus because of his brother's boss being a pain for him and his own boss.

You let out a mere sigh when you came back to reality from your thoughts, but you didn't expect your sigh to be so loud in the room. You pecked your husband's cheek lightly before leaving your hands to do the work over his shirt. You ran your hand first under his shirt, feeling the burning skin untouched this whole time. Seeing the lack of reaction from the Scot, you opened his shirt entirely, making sure to slide it against his back muscles and strong arms. Naturally, his arms freed the shirt from his body before getting back to their original position.

You gave Alistair a few seconds for his warm skin to feel the slightly cooler air in the room, giving him this tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach.

Alistair instinctively looked up to you and thought for a second about how your hands roaming over his chest would feel, leading his mind to the naughtiest thoughts possible. He tried to shake these thoughts away, only for him to sigh as he looked for the line he was reading.

You were going to put your hands on him, but having compassion for him and this project he's been working so hard on, you chose not to do it. You left the room, leaving his shirt on the chair next to it, chuckling slightly. Alistair literally ran out of the room after reading the last line of the paper in front of him.

:)

some are more explicit than others, couldn't decide tbh so i mixed

hope you like it

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Touch it for Real, Part 3

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Eventual Smut

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / enemies to lovers / bug gets meta

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4

Mia.

Mia, Mia, Mia. 

Oh she was lovely. You’d been chatting with her on Baekhyun’s phone for the better part of an hour and for a moment you forgot all about the man who now laid with his head on the other end of the sofa with his feet stretched over your lap and a phone held up to his face.

He was scrolling through something, giggling and typing. 

The phone you had down in your lap vibrated with another incoming message. 

Laughing emojis, a row of them. She was sharp. Wit and charm came through in her messages and you found yourself responding with an equally long string of laughing faces. The ones with tears leaking out their eyes. She felt so damn familiar and comfortable the moment you got past the awkward introductions and you really started talking to her; the jokes were easy and the topics were something you knew enough about to fake your way though thanks to Baekhyun’s many passions and his absolute inability to shut up about them. He’d held you hostage with so many video games and anime episodes, you knew exactly what she was talking about now. You felt like a complete pseudo pro. A well-read scammer. A faker but a weirdly genuine one. 

You went back to her profile and dragged each of her pictures across the screen with the tip of your finger, switching between them all. She was pretty. She was smart. She was interesting to talk to. She was perfect. Just perfect. A steady warmth had seeped into your chest as you looked at her. It was welcome and actually felt nice at first; if not a little bit unexpected. But the longer you looked at her smile, the more intrusive that warmth felt. After too long, it was sticky and almost too warm. You struggled to breathe deeply. You were breathing normally, there was absolute nothing off about your breathing, but each breath you took suddenly failed to satiate. Why were your lungs suddenly missing oxygen? They were misbehaving without any reason to. You closed out her pictures and returned to the chat window. 

She was asking about the latest episode of an anime. Something that was in its final season. Something you were sure Baekhyun would also be watching soon if he hadn’t seen it already. You could feel her excitement in her words. Something epic must have happened.

“Baek did you watch Attack on Colossatron last night — the latest episode?”

“Not yet—no spoilers, I’ll kill you.” His response was quick and you responded in a similar fashion in text to Mia; without the death threats. You weren’t quite that comfortable with her yet. 

Baekhyun shifted and moved a foot behind you, digging it under your butt into the gap of the couch cushion. You ignored the intrusion because you were talking to Mia. His soon to be brand new girlfriend by the looks of the conversation. You caught what you were certain was subtle flirting just below the contexts. Then outright flirting. She was sending you a picture from the dating profile you’d set up for Baekhyun. She had to have saved the picture to send it. It would now be saved on the camera roll of her phone where she would likely look at it again and again, admiring how good Baekhyun looked in it. 

She was commenting on how unexpectedly handsome you were and how most of the men who shared interests with her did not look like you. 

She was asking for a picture of you—err, of Baekhyun. She was having trouble believing such an attractive man like you was real and she actually used the word catfishing, careful to insist that she wasn't accusing you of anything; just that she was sure you looked just like some celebrity she saw on twitter and one couldn’t be too careful. 

But you were quick to cooperate and to agree with her need for assuredness. As a woman, yourself, you understood her suspicions instantly.  Yes, Baekhyun did look shockingly attractive in the profile pictures you posted of him. You could see how someone might doubt that he was real and he lived only 5 miles away and was now sweeping her off her feet with his engaging conversations and hilarious jokes. You’d be sure and make him thank you well for this later. 

The pictures of him were surprising, even to you, and you lived with the guy. You saw him every single day. Yet something about seeing him in these pictures, dressed in that black button up shirt and jeans and looking at the camera with a breathtaking natural smile; one he gave you so easily that night when you told him just how good he looked all dressed up. 

“Peanut, look at you! You look so fancy.” 

“Wow, I cant believe how handsome you are.” 

It only took a couple of sincere compliments for the man to unfold before you and the results on camera pulled you into an uncomfortable and unwelcome thoughtfulness when you looked at them alone later. Of course you knew he was handsome. You just hadn’t been prepared for how very attractive he would look on camera. 

You got all his best angles and the man had taken you off guard when you’d bravely asked him to give you a sexy look. 

It happened just at the end of your little makeshift photo-shoot. You were both a little tired, you could tell with the way he slowed down with his talking and his movements. You could always tell when Baekhyun was tired. Sometimes before even he knew it. 

The sun had gone down and you’d pulled him from your room into the living room where the lights from the city shone through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows, creating a soft glow on his face. The moon was full outside. It was a chilly winter night and snowflakes drifted down to the street below. You were feeling perhaps a bit romantic. Perhaps you were a little bit grateful to be inside and warm and spending your time capturing the pretty face of your annoying best friend. 

You’d gotten a bit bold with the pictures and he’d been behaving so well, not even complaining when you asked him to lay down on the floor so you could capture the beautiful city-scape in the background of the shot. He’d gone still while you set up; moving furniture and turning on a lamp in the corner for more lighting on his features — you wondered briefly if maybe he had fallen asleep. 

You laid down beside him holding your camera up in the right spot to get something nice. His eyes had closed up and his breathing was even and slow and when you’d softly called his name with your camera acting as a barrier in between your faces, you’d expected it to act as more of a buffer than it did. 

“Baekhyun?”

When he heard you call him, his eyes opened and he turned his head toward the sound of your voice; the shift in his eyes was stark and breathtaking and he blinked them closed and then very slowly he opened his eyes again for you. 

“Hmm?” His lips stayed closed when he hummed a response.

What exactly were you going for here? The mood was set. The lighting and the scenery were in place. Hell, even the position of him was set —him laying beside you on the floor in the middle of the night like this when everyone knew it was much too late to be entertaining any of this nonsense. The longer you looked at him the more shades of pink you saw in his cheeks. The pinkness matched his lips and the lighting made every bit of warm flush on his face tell such a romantic story. He looked so very warm and inviting. 

You took a shot and you said it. If the picture came out well, that would be rewarding enough. 

But, you didn't actually expect a real sexy look. Not really. You’d expected something silly, or something goofy or something with an awkward smile. Maybe it was the nighttime, or the way he unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and just let it hang open with the clear smoothness of his chest visible, but when he pulled his chin down and ran a hand through his styled hair, bringing it down just a little bit; giving it a messy and tousled look, you had to grip the camera tighter to keep from doing something dumb like accidentally dropping it. You could not understand the flash of nervousness you felt run through you. 

He lifted a single eyebrow. You had called him and it was clear from the inactivity in the camera that you weren’t taking any pictures of him. 

“Hmm?” He repeated the hum that came from the back of his throat. His eyebrow danced and it was the only movement on his face.

You inhaled a breath and you did it.

“You look incredibly sexy right now.” 

Despite the camera, despite the props you’d placed around him just so, his eyes seemed to seek out yours with purpose; one hand on the floor was within touching distance and the other hand rested over his forehead from when he’d ran it through his hair, the tips of his fingers landed over one of his eyes and it was so perfect. You felt goosebumps all over your skin.  

The moment his eyes locked into yours you gripped the camera as if your life depended on it. When his lips slowly parted with a gentle exhale and the tip of his tongue appeared between his parted lips and slowly touched against the corner of his bottom lip a surge of heat rose up the back of your throat. 

“I do?” He said with his eyes on yours as if he was looking directly at you; as if the camera did not even exist. 

You hit the button and you heard the shutter click. 

You allowed yourself a moment to look at the picture Mia had sent you. Only a moment though because she was talking again. She was instructing you to send a new picture right now, with your left hand holding your right earlobe. It was the kind of specific sort of picture that would prove that you really did exist. 

“Peanut,” you reached down and tapped his leg three times quickly, “Peanut, our new girlfriend wants a picture of you right now with your,” you held up your hands in front of your face, figuring out which was the left one, “left hand holding your right earlobe.” You held up your left hand for him to see and he pulled the phone down from his face to look at you. After a second his opposite hand was raised and he gripped his earlobe with his fingertips. 

“Is that your left hand?” You raised your left hand higher and lifted your eyebrows as you shook your head once. You felt a sense of urgency in getting this picture to Mia as fast as possible to calm her doubts. 

“It’s my left. My left is your right, stupid. Why do I have to do this?” 

You snapped the picture close enough that it would look like a selfie and sent the image to Mia. She was satisfied enough to send an emoji with heart eyes and you could feel victory at your fingertips. You could hardly believe this was working. 

“She thought you weren’t real.” You said in between messages and Baekhyun’s leg was shaking behind your back. He’d been sitting still for too long here and the nervous energy was building, you could feel it trying to escape from his limbs. He probably needed to go for a run or something or you were in for a long and noisy night of singing or dancing or whatever other shenanigans he thought you needed to suffer though. He hummed a non-response to your answer, clearly so distracted by what was happening on his screen that he couldn’t be bothered to give you any more of his attention right now. 

Baekhyun was not so quietly giggling under his breath and you looked up caught by that very particular sound of it. Something felt familiar in the sound of that giggle; more, the intentions behind it. The particular sneakiness of it maybe made you look up and it took you another second of listening to the way he stifled himself, tried to control the sounds of his laughter before a realization dawned and recognition struck you on the head. 

Baekhyun couldn’t have been giggling, laughing, texting, having a grand ol’ time on his phone because you had his phone in your hands. You had been talking to Mia for a whole damn hour, who in the hell was Baekhyun talking to and was that your phone he was using? 

“Baekhyun who are you talking to on my phone?”

His stomach bounced with stifled laugher below his shirt and he was typing again. His eyes secured on the screen of your phone and not at all looking at you. 

“Baek, who is that. What are you doing?” It wasn’t that you didn't trust him with your private conversations. He knew more about you than probably any other human being on the planet. It wasn't the problem with him knowing it. The problem was with that laughter. The problem was with what Byun Baekhyun might do with all of the things he knew about you and with whoever the hell had the misfortune of texting you at the exact moment when he had your phone.

“Ben,” Baekhyun said after a long pause and you searched through your recent memory for a person who had that name. You’d matched with some guys last week but you were certain there was no one with that name. 

“Ben? Who the hell is Ben? I don't know a Ben” You were leaning now and Baekhyun bent his legs up as soon as you moved, blocking your lean with his knobby knees. You leaned on the other side of them and he moved them to block again. 

The maneuver brought out the panic in you. He was blocking you from your own phone. He was up to something and he was now blocking you from reaching for your phone and you had just nearly murdered him in the kitchen over cheese, did he really want to do this again? 

“Give me my phone. Baek, who the shit is Ben?”

“I don't know. Some guy named Ben. Said he was some lady’s nephew or cousin or something. He knew your number and he knew your name, and wow he is—”

Oh god. Your co-worker Susie had done it. The son-of-a-bitch had actually given your phone number out this time even though you had successfully, you’d thought, dodged their high pressure tactics to set you up with some eligible bachelor who would probably be 10 years too old for you, balding, with bad teeth, or bad habits, or would be obsessed with his car or his muscles or some sports team and you’d have to make nice small talk with someone who’s interests, frankly, bored you to death until you could politely let the man down. 

And now, what was Baekhyun telling him? What kinds of horrific lies was this little gremlin giggling about over there. You tilted and reached for him again and he moved his knees again. 

“Bug, how- how do you spell hemorrhoids? Hem—hem—er—roids, no that’s not right. Let me look it up. It’s important that I represent you well. A strong, intelligent woman who can talk about her hemorrhoids.” 

You leaped then, over the stupid knees you flew and you landed hard — seated across his belly and the pained grunt he let out was satisfying to hear. He doubled up in pain while simultaneously shoving your phone underneath himself into the softness of the couch cushions and you watched it disappear somewhere below his butt where he assumed you would not dare to reach. 

“Baekhyun,” you said in as calm a voice as you could pry from your lips. Your teeth gritted together as you spoke and much of the sweetness was lost in the delivery.

Your hands were feeling the softness of the cushions that he laid on. You followed an arm that went down and disappeared behind his back and your fingers traveled to the end where you felt no phone at all, only his empty hand that you pulled up. You did the same on the other side, moving to the other hand and bringing it back empty too. On his face he wore a smug, self-satisfied smile. 

“Peanut,” your next attempt at a compromise pulled his name out in a sweeter tone and his lips turned up into a mischievous grin with teeth bared and all. To your own ears though, you really laid it on thick. This was your darling Peanut. You let your whine come through and you pulled your lips into a pouty frown.

“Bug,” he said, mimicking your overly saccharine tone with a tiny lift of an eyebrow on his face and a fake frown that didn’t touch the rabid joy in his eyes.

“Give me back my phone,” you said and your hands dug into his ribs hard as he reached for your wrists and quickly grabbed to hold you still with both of his free hands before you could do any actual damage to him. 

You struggled against his strong hands, reaching with out-stretched fingers despite his hold on you for a few more tickles before he tightened the grip and you could not connect any more attacks. 

“Give me back my phone,” he giggled back, again mocking your ineffective attempts to overpower him. You simply couldn’t do it. He was much stronger than you were.  

The childishness of this brat! You closed your eyes up tight as you forced yourself to take a deep calming breath. You could feel close to the edge again. Close to losing control. How many murder attempts did you need to commit today? Maybe you needed to enroll in anger management classes. You tried to count to ten again but gave up halfway through to threaten him again. 

“I’m going to get mad, give me my phone.” The friendly tone you had forced was gone and you could hear the actual anger in your voice now. Any reasonable person would concede. Any normal human adult would laugh it off playfully, say ‘okay, okay, I was only kidding’ and hand the thing over. A normal person would even apologize for taking it in the first place. 

Baekhyun was not a normal person.

“Ohhh, I’m going to get mad,” you heard him say in that same mocking voice and no amount of calming breaths could touch it. You could count to ten thousand and still want to destroy him. You squirmed all over and pulled at your wrists that he held in his grip and his hold tightened the more you moved until you could only lean, you could only fight back with one thing. The more you fought him, the tighter his muscles constricted and it became evident that you simply could not win this way. Your hands were useless to you. Only your head was free. You’d have to use it to your advantage, but how? 

You could headbutt him; break his nose. Break your head. Make both of you take a trip to the hospital during a global pandemic. Catch the dreaded disease. Lose your sense of taste and smell and potentially infect someone vulnerable that you loved. 

He was like a cat. Only interested in playing with something until it was dead and then losing interest after he couldn’t torture it anymore. You couldn't simply play dead. He had you trapped and you needed that phone back. 

You could bite him. Break the skin. Mean business for real. Make him bleed and make him cry. Make him pay for all of it. Give him a nasty scar on his hand, or on his neck or on his chest, maybe rip off his earlobe like Tyson did to Holyfield. Send him to the hospital during a global pandemic. Go to prison for assault charges. Get a nasty infection from a prison tattoo. Die.

Your struggle for a plan made you go physically still and you looked at his face; into his eyes and in those eyes sat all the usual bullshit and toddler behavior that you usually saw when he had latched on to something to tease you with, something he could play with and have fun with at your expense. Something he could exploit. 

You could use your mouth. 

You could use your lips.

You could use your tongue. 

What is this? Some sort of trashy rom-com? Would you really stoop so low, so early in the story? Kiss him to distract him, become a walking, talking, kissing cliché and an unoriginal failure of a human being? Get scolded and told to leave his home. Become homeless during a global pandemic. Without high speed internet access, lose your easy breezy data entry job. Get hungry and get cold. Possibly end up selling a kidney on the black market to make ends meet. Get a nasty infection from the shady surgery. Die. 

No. This wasn’t a cheesy romance story. This was your life. You’d have to live with the consequences of your choices and there was no way you would steal his first kiss just to get petty revenge.

This wasn’t enemies-to-lovers, this a violent revenge plot and you were pissed off god-dammit. How dare this idiot get you into such a compromising, such an undignified, such a frustratingly suggestive position and hold you captive like this. 

How dare he still be smiling through your entire inner monologue?

Didn't he know anything at all about women and the powers they possessed in their bodies? 

He flinched visibly when you dropped down; lowered your chest to his chest and you were face to face with the man. Your quick movement startled him and he loosened the grip around your wrists enough for you to rotate them before he tightened his hold again and watched you with wide eyes. That grin finally, finally fell from his mouth. His lips sat down-turned and pink. He’d gone positively pink with your quick movement. Your plan to move into him instead of struggling to get away clearly startled him. You felt the advantage at once. 

When you moved again it was only your eyeballs and it was to look pointedly at his lips before you pulled your eyes back up to look into his eyes. The slow movement made a bold statement, even to someone as clueless as he was. You were on top of him. He could most definitely feel the entirety of your weight on his body and your breasts were flush against his chest. And now, you had just looked down at his pink lips. 

Whatever steady and in-control breathing he had, stuttered and his body below yours went rigid with his eyes wide; obviously unsure of what you were about to do and much too on edge to take his eyes off of you. 

What became clear as you stared at his flushed face up close was that he had not thought this far ahead in his plan.

He probably didn't even have one to begin with. 

You moved closer to him and his hands released their hold on you again. You heard a gasp for air when his hand let go. You weren’t convinced he let go on purpose. There seemed to be a disconnected look inside his eyes right now. 

Instead of going straight for his earlobe and squeezing the shit out of it to teach him a lesson, you kept this going. You could not help it. You felt drunk on your own power and you didn't actually want to hurt him. You just wanted the damn phone so you could see what damage he had already done and begin cleaning up the messes. 

He swallowed and his lips opened to speak.

“W-What are you doing?” 

Nervous and trembling and uncertain; oh he was all of the above. Your free hand was moving now, traveling down the length of his arm to his flank when he moved again, this move felt much more frantic than the last. He grabbed your wrist more gently than before when you got close enough to touch him and he pulled your hand back. A feeble attempt it seemed, made by a man who had just come to his senses again after being in a daze. 

You leaned in. “Peanut,” you said directly into the space below his ear. You could smell him here. He smelled nice. Clean, and vaguely familiar. You remembered your shampoo that he still had and made a mental note to get it back from him. The scent of it on him was different than on you. The breath you took at his neck definitely smelled different. 

He was frozen stiff and when you pulled up to look at his face, his eyes were closed. He swallowed again and you reveled in the realization that you had not heard a single peep out of him since you began your counter-attack. Not a giggle, not a mocking laugh. Not a silly impression of what your voice sounded like to him. He was as quiet as a mouse. It paid to be pro-active. You felt free, as if you’d just been armed with some new very effective weapon that you had no idea would work so well. 

He had your hand again and was pulling — keeping you from reaching below his body to reach where you were certain your phone was stashed. Right here below his left butt cheek. Maybe even inside his back pocket. Either way it was there and you were centimeters away from it. 

So you went in again. This time it was a whisper. This time you went too far. You felt the softness of his neck brush against your bottom lip.

“Give it to me, while I am still being nice.” 

It was the exhale from your lips after you spoke that seemed to do it. The puff of air from your parted lips that drifted over his ear and warmed his neck, you felt him squirm below you and his hands moved releasing you all over and all at once. 

He was going now. He was leaving. You felt it happening below you. 

It was a tactic you’d used before when he tried to grab a hold of you and throw you onto your bed, or when he tried to wrestle something away from you in the kitchen. 

He went boneless. When you did it he would shout and laugh and lose his grip on you and you’d use the distraction to drop to the floor and roll out of his grip in one motion. It was much more difficult for him to do right now, being directly under you on the couch like this, but somehow he was vanishing fast. 

He moved so quickly it was like he melted from beneath you and he was pushing you off at the same time as he rolled, simply rolled from the sofa down onto the floor below in a single motion of retreat. 

You know that was where he went because you heard the rough thump of his body hitting the floor hard and you heard the grunt as he vocalized the pain of gravity having it’s final say. You were pushed with a force that made you roll onto your butt and below your legs you felt the rectangle of plastic and glass of your cell phone. 

He was moving fast. But he was also talking as he did it. 

“You are mean,” was what he said and he was halfway through the living room by the time you registered his complaint. 

Something about his fit irked you though. Was it such a big deal — so out of the question? Did he hate the idea of you kissing him, even if on accident that he had to overreact like this. 

“Oh settle down, It’s not like I was going to actually kiss you, Baekhyun.”

You’d expected to hear his bedroom door slam shut but he’d stopped with his hand on his door and turned his face in your direction. His expression was odd. 

Baekhyun was rarely upset with you, so you had very little experience with what he looked like when he was. He had been upset with others around you, but it wasn’t ever directed at you.

“I know you weren’t.” 

You could see it from where you sat and it made you stand up. Wait, was he really upset? At you? Because you pretended like you were going to steal his first kiss? Because you took something so precious to him and weaponized it against him? 

He was breathing hard and you took a step in his direction. 

“Baek, I was just—” 

“—trying to get your phone, I know.” His voice was cold and his words were short.

You suddenly felt like absolute shit. It moved fast and it overwhelmed you. You’d made a mistake and Baekhyun was upset at you. You’d acted carelessly and thoughtlessly and you’d hurt him. 

“We...we were playing around, I was just playing around, I didn’t mean it, Peanut. I’m sorry.” You could not help the thickness in your voice. You could not help how your voice cracked as you spoke up quickly, needing to get the apology out into the air before he could misunderstand any further. 

Before he could wake up and realize how low of a person you could be when you really set your mind to it. Before he could understand that maybe you didn't deserve so many chances to get your life together and get a better job, or be a better roommate, or make more money and pay more rent, or delete your facebook, or create better passwords. 

You realized you were crying when the wetness dripped down your chin and landed on your arm and as soon as you noticed you lifted both of your hands up to cover your face — before he saw, before he noticed or heard. You held your breath to keep from hiccupping or making any sort of sound at all and you closed your eyes and tried to stop the quiet gasps. 

You succeeded for the most part. 

It was the smell of him though. You did not notice that he moved, but you smelled him again, only this time it came with a warmth that enveloped you where you stood.  

“I’m not mad at you,” he whispered over your head and you inhaled through the snot that filled your nose, unable to get any air through. You gasped through your mouth instead and hiccupped through the breath. 

“You seemed mad at me,” you said into his shirt, the same shirt you’d cried into hours ago. This shirt would have so much of your messes on it by the end of the day. What in the world had gotten into you today? Maybe you were going to start your period soon. This was getting ridiculous. 

His hands rubbed slow and steady circles over your back and until the gasping stopped enough for you to lift your head and look into his face. 

“I’m not,” he said with more conviction the second time and you almost believed it. Had it not been for the strange way his eyes dropped yours so easily you would have. 

You didn't say that though. 

His lips parted once and his eyes grasped yours in that flimsy way again and his lips closed up again as he swallowed it away and didn’t say what he was about to say. 

You shook your head. He had to tell you. Whatever it was, you could work on it, do some self reflecting, or read some self help books. 

“What is it? Tell me.” Your insistence was desperate and his damn eyes refused to stick. It was making you crazy the more you noticed it. 

His mouth opened again and this time he inhaled deep enough to speak for hours and hours. 

“Peanut, what?” 

“Don't—” he began and you closed your mouth and looked into his face, dipping to catch them when his eyes dropped again and again. He noticed the dance you did and you saw the light dance inside his eyes. 

“Don't what? I’ll do it. Or I won’t do it. Whatever, just tell me.” If there was one thing you were good at, it was talking to this man. You could always pull it out. Whatever he had been sitting on, keeping from you, whatever he had deep down inside that was begging to be let out. You could talk to him. He could talk to you. It’s as part of the magic you shared with him. 

“Peanut,” you said again, refusing to let him close up again, refusing to let this go. He had to say his piece for the upset to move behind you both, so you could get past it. 

“Don't use your beauty as a weapon against me.” 

As soon as the words left so did his eyes, but that did not matter because you could not look into his face anymore after he said it either. 

Your…beauty?

Baekhyun didn’t look at you and see beauty. Impossible. You were a mess. Some days you showered. Some days you did your hair. These two events rarely happened on the same day. 

Outside you could pull off some-what put-together and even downright attractive when you wore the miracle bust enhancing bra you bought off some shady website he definitely told you not to enter any credit card info into, but inside you felt like a circus clown wearing a respectable young woman suit. Every day you worked to stuff the oversized shoes into your feet and struggled to zip them up. Every day you painted over your honking red nose with concealer in the hopes that it wouldn’t rain today and give you away. 

“It’s really shitty and really unfair to do to me.” He kept talking and you felt like maybe the ceiling had caved in on you. “I know who I am. I know my place and I know what league I am in.”

He said the word league with a whisper and you stared at his mouth as he spoke such nonsense words you hardly had any thoughts that made any sense inside of your own head. 

League? He was such an amazing person, but league? You’d heard some serious bullshit come out of his mouth in the past, but this? Seriously? 

He was a genius. He was beautiful inside and out and he was such a good person, a good person to you, a good person to his grandmother, a good person to his online friends. He was so good at whatever he wanted to do and he was really fucking sweet when he wasn’t being ridiculous. And even when he was being ridiculous it was so funny you usually didn't mind the ear deafening noise involved. He was a great dancer and an even better singer and he had so much to offer. 

He was shy. He was terribly embarrassed and debilitatingly nervous at the mere idea of talking to any other girl that wasn’t you and he took a whole lot of warming up to until he opened up to you even, but when he finally did, after tiptoeing around him for 4 months after you’d moved in and he finally grabbed a bowl of popcorn and sat beside you on the couch to watch lifetime movies with you, making fun of the writing and the acting the entire time until he was making fun of you for crying at the happy ending. 

He was reliable too. He refused to even entertain the idea of you moving out just because you could no longer afford the previously agreed upon rent after you lost your job. He searched for something to hold you over until you could get back on your feet and while the data entry thing was mind numbing, it was genuinely saving your life most days. You could at least pay your bills. You could at least force him to accept the much lower rent you started paying him again after you got your first paycheck. 

Oh god. League? 

You could feel it building again. The burning in your eyes peaked and you felt your face frowning down dramatically and the tears were flowing more freely than before. 

“You’re such an idiot.” You cried openly and his face changed at once into one of extreme concern. His hands waved over you uselessly, occasionally connecting to pat over your back in some attempt to stop this. 

“You are such a catch, you stupid idiot!” You were wailing very loudly. You could not help it. He was such an idiot. And he was such a catch. 

“Oh my god, are you yelling at me right now? After everything you’ve done to me today, now you are yelling at me and calling me names. Great. Just Great. Here, my face doesn’t hurt, why don't you punch me in the face too.” 

The sarcasm made you half laugh half choke in the middle of a particularly strong sob and you coughed with your mouth open to be able to breathe. Your nose was still useless. 

“Jesus,” he said to himself, “my mouth was open.” 

You were being steered. Your eyes were still closed and you were pushed now. You didn't really want to move but your stubborn legs saved you by taking a step instead of letting you fall flat on your face. You opened your eyes when you felt a fresh cold breeze against the wet surface of your cheeks and you saw in front of you the contents of the freezer. 

There were some frozen veggies. Some ice in a bin. Something meat-like in a freezer bag. And about six different boxes of various ice creams. Most of them chocolate. 

“Get one,” he said and his hand was pushing your elbow up and steering your hand toward the open box of chocolate popsicles. 

You grabbed with your open hand and he pulled your elbow back like you were a claw machine and he was working the lever. 

You grasped the popsicle between both of your hands with a small smile building against your will. 

“Eat it,” he said from behind your head and you were already ripping at the plastic wrapper. You didn’t even have a chance to throw away the wrapper when his hand was pushing at your elbow again. It bent upward and the chocolate plopped right into your open mouth. 

“Bite,” he said. 

You bit. He didn't have to tell you to chew and swallow. You knew how to do the rest. 

After the ice cream you were seated on the sofa next to him and he pulled out a portable game system to keep him entertained while he pressed play on the movie he’d put on the big tv on the wall. 

It was Bridget Jones's Diary. You had seen it enough times to know the entire movie by heart and still, still you laughed at every joke, swooned at every steamy look, and squealed like a piglet at every kiss scene. It literally did not get old. You could fall asleep and wake up watching this movie for the rest of your life and be as happy as ever. 

After he’d felt you’d been babied enough for him to trust you not to dissolve into a fit of disaster without him, he left you alone to finish your movie. He said something about a bug he was working on fixing and you could hear him working from behind his closed door in his room. 

He had been quiet as he worked. He usually was, save for the occasional song he sang along to, or work sounding phone call he took. 

The credits were rolling on your happy ending and you could feel the beginnings of the first few period cramps twinging inside of your abdomen. 

Everything made sense now, as it usually did whenever your period began. 

You’d just stood to head toward the kitchen for some pain medicine when Baekhyun’s bedroom door was abruptly pulled open.  

He bolted through the doorway and his phone was in his hands, his eyes were wide. Panic was written all over his face as he searched the room for you and finally made eye contact with you in the kitchen. 

You had a bottle of pain reliever in one hand and another popsicle in your other and you were trying to figure out the logistics of getting the bottle of medicine open without having to put the sticky melty treat down anywhere and things weren’t going so well. Things were getting drippy. 

Baekhyun arrived then and you beamed a wide and genuinely happy to see him smile. He would help you. He would open the pills. He would stuff you full of them to stop the pain. 

At this point you didn't even care how many. You’d take however many the Gods decided to shake free from their plastic prison. 

“Help,” he said, walking by the medicine you held out to him with his phone displayed in his hands. “Help me, she...our girlfriend, Maya, she—”

You gasped at his mispronunciation and you lifted your popsicle hand toward his face as you made the sounds with your mouth, “Mia. Like Mee-uh.”

“Mia, Maya, Moira, She is — she is talking to me.” His eyes were wide and they were crazed. 

“She’s saying things and she’s really fucking smart and clever and she’s saying things to me, Bug. She’s, oh god, -the fuck didn't you tell me she was cute. Fuck. You have to help me. She thinks I’m cute too. Oh God. What do I do? What’s next?”

He was breathless when he was done and both of your hands were still full. Your popsicle was beginning to drip down your wrist. You would have to clean it up before you got ants. You still had some medicine to take too. 

He was pacing. He thought she was cute too, it wasn’t just you who thought so. He said it himself. Although he reacted this way with nearly every girl you had seen him interact with. Hell, just last week he made you answer the door for the delivery chicken because the girl was cute and he wasn’t about to scribble his signature all over her hand by accident. 

“Baekhyun, I already laid the groundwork for you.” Maybe the day was finally catching up to you but you felt suddenly very tired and in no mood to play make-believe with him right now. 

“What does that mean?” His face betrayed his utter cluelessness and you sighed deeply, feeling much of the same melancholy mood return to you despite the chocolate and your favorite movie still fresh on your tongue. “What does that mean? I don't know what to do. You were going to help me.” 

He was right. You shouldn’t just abandon a friend in need like you’d abandoned the popsicle in the trash can just now. 

“You have a new episode of your show to watch. She also likes that show. Why don't you stream it together?” 

His eyes lit up and his smile was wide and beautiful. Then he was spinning on his heels without even so much as a glance back. He typed into his phone and had nearly reached the door of his bedroom without even acknowledging your help when at the last minute you caught the look he shot you. It was a bright smile. He was excited and his smile reached his eyes. 

“She said yes,” he said, “thanks, Bug.”

His door closed and you reached for the bottle of pills. Grabbing just two today, you downed them quickly and retreated to your room with a gloomy, lonely, little storm cloud floating stubbornly over your head. 

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4

Tag list: @j-pping @blahblahblah-boo @his-mochi-cheeks @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13 @baekinmylife @insta1010 @nana-banana @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth  @totallynerdstuff​​  @byunbabybaek​​  @beg0neth0t420

[thesoulspulse]

Reconcile (Good Vlad AU ~ Oneshot)

It happened in early winter, that's all he could tell because of the first signs of snowfall outside of the window next to his bed at the hospital. Vlad had been there for, what, a month or so? Kept in isolation from everyone apart from a couple of doctors and nurses. Honestly, it was entirely possible Vlad had been there for longer for all he knew since every day blurred into the next after the accident.

Vlad couldn't feel it though, the cold, because these days his skin always felt either unnaturally chilly or feverishly hot to the touch. The only constant Vlad could feel was pain. The morphine helped ease that pain a little bit, but all that was left to feel after that was this cold numbness. And since the doctors thought he had been exposed to radiation of some kind -which to be fair they weren't wrong- no one has been allowed to see him after he was admitted there.

But still, Vlad had hoped his friends would come see him eventually. And more importantly, he wanted the chance to give Jack a piece of his mind! That...that traitor knew the portal experiment was unstable and potentially dangerous and yet he still pressed the-

“Excuse me, are you awake Mr. Masters? You have a visitor,” a nurse called after knocking on the door and poking her head inside.

At first Vlad was happy that he had a visitor, hoping it would be Maddie so he could get these feelings off his chest about how angry he was at Jack...but as soon as he saw the large silhouette waiting outside the door he knew there was only one person that would have come here to see him who had such a wide girth. It was Jack. But he wasn't ready to see him, not yet, not when all Vlad could think about is how his best friend had almost killed him...

Turning his head away Vlad finally muttered, “Sorry, I'm not feeling well. Please tell them to come back lat-ER!”

Vlad grunted the last word of that sentence as Jack burst into the room, tears rolling down his cheeks as the man called him by that ridiculous nickname of Vladdy he insists on using. Normally Vlad could shrug it off, but right now the nickname felt insulting somehow as if Jack was making light of what happened the last time they saw each other. Either way it's a good thing Maddie actually was there and managed to help the nurse pry him off, reminding Jack that Vlad's in the hospital as a patient so giving him a bear hug wasn't the best idea.

Regardless, Jack looked at Vlad's bandaged face and sobbed, “I'm so sorry V-man. We tried to come sooner but they wouldn't let us in! We were so worried about you!”

Nodding, Maddie put a supportive hand on Jack's shoulder and continued awkwardly. “He's right, as soon as we recovered from the shock of what had happened to you we immediately went looking for you but you had already collapsed somewhere. Jack was heartbroken and didn't understand what went wrong with the portal. I tried to find out too but it was no use, whatever happened fried the wiring and-”

Cutting herself off as soon as she realized she was going off on a tangent when their friend's well-being was much more important, Maddie dropped her hand from Jack's shoulder and asked with a sad smile, “How're you feeling? Have they been taking good care of you? I tried to explain your condition to the doctor but...they didn't believe me about it being related to ectoplasmic energy.”

“Why would they? As far as they're concerned ghosts don't exist,” Vlad replied with a guarded expression, unwilling to admit he tried to do the exact same thing only for his arguments to be thoroughly dismissed since he's not a doctor. “As for the rest they're...doing the best they can I suppose.”

An awkward silence filled the room since none of them knew what to say after that, but then, Jack spoke up and said, “Vladdy? Um, I know it's a bit squished but I made this for you. It's...my way of saying sorry for everything. I should have listened to you and Mads when you told me to stop.”

Reaching into one of the many pockets of his jumpsuit which according to Jack was handed down to him by his grandfather and designed after an outfit one of his ghost-hunting ancestors wore, he handed Vlad what appeared to be a misshapen block of homemade fudge. The gesture might not have seemed like a big deal to anyone else, but for Jack who absolutely loved the stuff and couldn't help himself from eating almost all of it himself in one sitting whenever he made or bought it, however, the fact that Jack was sharing an entire serving of it just for Vlad really was his way of showing his sincerity. Similarly, Maddie reached into her bag and pulled out a couple of her ghost folklore books for him to read since she figured Vlad must have been bored laying in bed all day.

Vlad was at a loss for words because he had almost given up hope that they'd ever come visit him, hope that Jack would own up to his mistakes for once and apologize. But since he did, Vlad couldn't stay mad. He wanted to, but couldn't, not since this forgetful yet earnest man had gone out of his way to finally come see him. The same goes for Maddie, Vlad was sure she felt guilty too for not stopping Jack in time since she's always been the more careful of the two when it comes to their experiments...

Accepting their gifts but resisting the urge to wipe the tears from his eyes since his face still hurt, Vlad held them in his lap and sniffled, “Thank you. Thank you both for coming. I...was afraid you had abandoned me.”

“Come on V-man, give me a little credit,” Jack smiled, gently punching Vlad's shoulder. “You're my best friend! I know I can be careless and stupid sometimes, but friends have to stick together through thick and thin don't they? We'll get through this together and then maybe we can try again with the ghost portal. We were so close!”

Grimacing at the thought of going anywhere near that portal again, Vlad was relieved when Maddie interjected and said, “Jack, don't forget that it's our fault this happened so before any of that we need to make sure Vlad's going to be ok. We don't know what that portal did to him and the doctors are only going to be able to help him so much. The best thing we can do for him is go back to square one and find out what we did wrong so it doesn't happen again.”

“Shoot, you're right. I'm sorry,” Jack apologized, looking dejected. “Don't worry Vladdy, I'll make this all up to you I promise! And we'll visit more too!”

Smiling weakly more because it hurt to move his face too much, Vlad nodded, “I'd like that.”

Soon after that, before Maddie could comment on anything else the nurse shooed them out so they could get Vlad ready for his next check up. But as soon as he was alone again Vlad reached over to set the fudge and books on the desk next to him when they unexpectedly slipped through his fingers. Blinking in confusion but brushing it off as clumsiness, he sighed and swung his feet over the bed so he could bend down to pick them up again. This time though, when he reached for them again they didn't just slip through his fingers as a figure of speech...they LITERALLY passed through them! Alarmed Vlad recoiled from both objects, his heart racing when he mustered the courage to look at his hands only to find they were translucent.

Realizing his sudden spike in heart activity would alert the hospital staff Vlad concentrated as hard as he could to restore his fingers to a solid state again. It took some effort but thankfully he managed to pull it off. It was in that moment though that Vlad realized, for better or worse, his relationship with Jack and Maddie would never be the same again...

And neither would he.

~

Note: I normally don’t write fully-fledged story content on tumblr apart from headcanon ideas or sharing updates about new chapters for my fanfics, but since I had started this oneshot before my Good Vlad AU started to really kick off and wasn’t that far along I adapted it into a special oneshot about Jack and Maddie coming to see Vlad at the hospital after the accident. I always wondered why they never did and usually assumed Vlad turned them away himself (mostly Jack) along with the doctors and his friends eventually move on and kind of forgot about him for all those years.

Either way, I wanted to see what could have happened if they managed to fix things with Vlad sooner while still on somewhat good terms before that sense of abandonment and resentment for Jack could take root in Vlad’s heart. Hopefully that comes across here in this little story snippet! I might post this on my actual fanfiction account later but for now, it’s here for you guys especially!

[blu-joons]

DATING SHINee A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Kim Kibum

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Kibum is very good at picking up at your hints, knowing exactly what sort of affection you need from him and then. He prides himself on always being able to be there to give you affection whenever it is that you need him with you.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

He loved getting to know you before he decided to think about dating you. The most important thing to Kibum was that the two of you had a close bond before doing anything major. He’d be with you most of the time when he had a few free hours, he was fond of your company from the moment he met you, and that never changed.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

After a couple of months and a few mixed messages, you began to distance yourself around Kibum as you struggled to find where you stood. When Kibum noticed that you didn’t want to be around him as much, he knew that he had to step in and make sure you knew exactly how he felt before he risked losing you. When he eventually managed to get hold of you and encourage you to meet up, he told you exactly how he felt.

D ⇴ DATES

Your dates with Kibum were usually quite romantic, he loved to have you round the evenings, take things nice and slowly, with music always playing in the background. Like his affection, he can pick up on your mood a lot and know exactly what sort of date you want. The usual answer is Kibum’s cooking. He loves to cook for you, and you love to be able to sit back and let him take care of you, especially as his meals are usually so delicious. Time at home is enough for your dates, just as long as you’re with each other.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

In his years in the industry, Kibum had had a few brief relationships, he tended to keep as much of it out of the limelight as he could. But you were his first serious relationship since his debut, and he was determined to keep you as protected as possible. If anyone ever asked him about dating, he’d be quick to shut them down before any rumours could be spread about you both which you were incredibly thankful for. He’d learnt over the years exactly how to keep you safe, and so that it what he always put first.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

Whenever the two of you argued, it didn’t tend to go on for long. Kibum tended to get quite emotional when you both argued, he hated the feeling of not being able to talk to you or feeling like he was the one that hurt you. He’d usually tend to give you some space for a while, and then when you’d begin to drop clues that you were ready to talk, Kibum would appear straight away, desperate to try and sort things out between the two of you. To most people, he was incredibly blunt, but when he knew he was the one that had caused you to get upset, he would apologise immediately and admit that he was the one at fault.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

Kibum didn’t feel too much pressure in letting you meet his family, because his family wasn’t that big. He saw being in a relationship with you as rebuilding his family. Even though she wasn’t with him anymore, he’d tell you the most about his grandmother and plenty of stories about growing up with her care and love.

H ⇴ HOME

As many of your dates tended to be at Kibum’s apartment anyway, it didn’t take long for him to consider moving you in permanently. He loved having you around, and the fact that you bonded so well with his dogs too just seemed like another pro on the list to having you move in with him as soon as you possibly could.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Kibum was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ at the end of his latest comeback. You’d been there through it all, supporting him through everything, and on the last night of promotion, he was desperate to make sure that you knew exactly how thankful he was. He knew it before that he loved you, but at the end of the shows, he knew he was finally ready to say it.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

His stare was enough to let anyone know when Kibum was feeling jealous, he wouldn’t shout and cause a scene, but his side eye would be enough to let someone know they’d crossed the line. He was incredibly protective of you, perhaps sometimes even a little bit possessive, but he could read a room well, and he’d know if someone was trying to come onto you. So, before they could, he’d make sure that they stayed firmly in their lane and made sure that they were very aware that you were already taken.

K ⇴ KIDS

Being an only child, Kibum was desperate to have at least a family of two kids with you. When he first told you that he didn’t want just one child, you were a little bit surprised, but as he explained to you about how he felt growing up as an only child, you could only sympathise with his reasoning for why he wanted to make sure that if he had a child, they’d grow up with a brother or sister who would stand beside them.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

The two of you would laugh whenever you were around each other, a lot of people always commented on how well suited the two of you were, and that definitely became obvious in your humour. The two of you watched the same programmes, listened to the same music, which meant you were always laughing at the same things together. Whenever the two of you started laughing together, it was impossible to get you to stop. The boys would often sit for a very long time and wait until you’d both finished giggling before continuing the conversation.

M ⇴ MISSING

Kibum trusted you with his life, but that never stopped him worrying about other people when he was on the road. He hated that he wasn’t there to hold your hand and keep you safe, it was always an incredibly hard time on him. Whilst he’d never get upset around you, the boys would often walk past his hotel room and hear little snuffles escaping. Whenever he was asked about it, he’d always reassure everyone that he was fine, but when he came back home and reunited with you, everyone who was on the road with him knew the reason behind his tear. It was always you, and the torment of having to spend any time away from you.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

The two of you tended to call each other ‘bub,’ it would confuse everyone else around you how you had the same nickname for each other, which only made things funnier for the two of you, winding the others up.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He was obsessed with your body, not necessarily in sexual way, but just in a way of always wanting to hold you and be able to cuddle up tightly against you.

P ⇴ PDA

The two of you aren’t well known for your affection in public, Kibum works hard to keep you safe when you’re in public, so he’ll never usually do something to over the top. You’ll usually feel at least one of his hands rest up against your body whenever the two of you are out, he likes to keep you protected, and more importantly, by his side.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

He loved to chat to you, so Kibum’s questions could quite literally consist of anything. The element of surprise was definitely something that you loved about him; you never quite knew what he was going to say to you next.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Kibum absolutely adored his dogs, which you learnt very quickly, but what nobody else knew was how he loved to buy outfits for his dogs, and for the two of you. Every holiday, he’d get the four of you to dress up in something to stick on the front of a card. Even though the rest of your families thought that the two of you were bonkers, you loved including the two of them in every little thing that you did together.

S ⇴ SEX

It’s always romantic whenever you’re with Kibum, neither one of you tends to dominate, you trust each other to know exactly what you want from the other. His hands would often wander around your body, he loved to rest against your hips or play with your hair. Kibum didn’t tend to say a lot when the two of you were intimate with each other, but as soon as the two of you laid down after, he’d make sure to fill you with a lot of love.

T ⇴ TEXTS

You’d often give him pup updates whenever he was away, he loved receiving texts from you to make sure that you and the dogs were alright. He hated being away from the two of you, even if it was just for a few hours, so your texts were always welcome.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

The two of you were like two peas in a pod, it was scary watching the two of you sometimes, you just always managed to make the perfect team. Most others around you were jealous of how well matched the two of you were.

V ⇴ VACATION

Kibum didn’t like to go away too often, he much preferred to stay at home and be with you. If he ever had a lengthy holiday, he’d use to either go and visit his family or yours, usually switching turns each time. Family was everything to him, so he’d much rather use it visiting them then exploring the world without them.

W ⇴ WHINING

If he didn’t have your attention, Kibum would usually moan by making a comment under his breath, refusing to apologise until you finally gave him your attention.

X ⇴ XXXXX

Whilst Kibum was a lot more of a cuddler than a kisser, that didn’t stop him from often trying to sneak up on you and give you a kiss. It was almost like a competition to him, the more he could make you jump, the better. He’d often end up kissing you with an elbow jabbing into his chest from the surprise, or an arm striking at his bicep as you scolded him yet again for terrifying the life out of you so unexpectedly.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his best friend, Kibum loved everything about being with you.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

Falling asleep with you was Kibum’s favourite thing about being in a relationship. He always felt so comfortable when he could hear your light breaths or feel the rise and fall of your chest as he slept, sending him off into a nice dream.

---

Masterlist

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH53

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

-----

Chapter 53: Purgatory Reunion (V) {cw: attempted suicide, religious guilt}

There were too many demons. There were too many demons.

The space by his feet had already been filled with corpses, and the whole lake of fire was floating with the stench of sulfur and demon blood, but it seemed that no matter how he killed them, he couldn’t kill them all.

Ning Zhou watched the steady stream of demons, from the initial tension to the final numbness. He tried every demon with Maria's sword of judgment, and finally… tried himself.

After entering Purgatory, the burning wounds on his abdomen had become more and more painful, lost consciousness, and there was no divine power in the body that had once been filled with holy power to protect him. Then, the evil power had gradually returned to him.

Ning Zhou already knew what it was. For many years, his mother Maria's worried eyes and her awkward words have planted too many questions in his heart. Now, he finally understood.

When he was young, he had once asked her who his father was.

Maria had sat by the bed and watched the sunset, remaining silent for a long time.

He persisted in asking his mother again.

Maria took his little hand and gently answered him, "He was someone who was lost."

"It's a long, long road, and no one knows where the end is. Your father and I met unexpectedly. We walked along the same road, passed many beautiful sights along the way, and left many beautiful memories. We said goodbye briefly at a fork in the road and agreed that we would continue walking. But he got lost... He walked a long way and gradually forgot everything from the past. He gained power that ordinary people could not imagine, but he even forgot his name."

"Did he forget you, too?" the small Ning Zhou asked anxiously.

A faint smile appeared on Maria's pale face: "No, he hasn't forgotten me. He didn't forget me all his life. On the day we met again, he looked at me for a long time and asked me... ‘who are you?’"

Ning Zhou looked at her in confusion and asked, "’Who are you?’ Doesn’t that mean he forgot?"

But he didn't know that a man who had forgotten himself and everything else had found his true love in the vast sea of people. At that moment, no matter what question he asked, it didn't matter.

The fact that he could find this person had already shown that he had never forgotten his love.

　　&&&

In a dark room, a long table with more than a dozen seats was surrounded by people, each of whom silently looked at the magic mirror suspended on the table which displayed this scene of carnage from the bottom of his heart.

"Is it okay to let him kill like this again?" the Witch of Nothingness asked gently, with her eyes closed and her hands folded on her lower abdomen.

The Witch of Desperation, covered in a black robe, looked at the bright red lake of fire in the magic mirror, but there was no magic in her empty eyes: "It doesn't matter. As long as he can fully awaken his original force, it doesn't matter how much of that trash he kills."

"I'm afraid he won't want to. Don't forget, he was originally from the Holy See," the Witch of Nothingness warned.

"Haha, have you forgotten? His Majesty was also very close with the Holy See. To be precise, he and the Holy See’s Holy Nun was the object of his affections. Even when his original force had awakened fully and he forgot his whole family, he was still holding a Canon all day long. But wasn't it him who finally took us into the human world?" the Devil of Evil smiled, not sharing his colleagues’ worry.

The Witch of Resentment held her forehead in one hand: "Please, don't remind me of the days when I studied hard to please His Majesty with the scriptures. I have no interest in the things of the Holy See. I would rather boil my potions."

The Witch of Nothingness smiled faintly. "Have you ever noticed that all the Devil Kings have some abnormal hobbies? When you count them carefully, none of them looks like a normal demon. However, compared with the subordinates of the Devil of Slaughter, we should feel content."

The group of higher demons laughed meaningfully.

To the demons, following a Devil King did not mean that they agreed with that person’s personality, but that they followed the force that that person represented. Just like this group, who had tied their own destiny with the force of destruction, who had known both glory and utter ruin. In the twenty years after the fall of the old Devil, their power had also declined to even less than half of its heyday.

They were too eager to have a new Lord of Destruction and renew destruction’s original force. As for who that person was, they didn't care.

"I heard one thing. Our new Majesty had a lover whom he loves deeply, but he died. It's a pity that the Devil of Fraud killed him. If he was still alive..." The Devil of Evil smiled with interest. "How interesting it would be."

"Why did the Lord of Fraud kill her?" the Witch of Nothingness asked doubtfully.

"God knows. Oh, by the way, he’s a man."

"Isn't His Majesty a follower of the Holy See?" Even the Witch of Resentment was shocked. Those who had been around since the old Lord of Destruction were familiar with the Holy See’s teachings, and they were very clear about the Holy See’s attitude towards same-sex love.

"He was drained of the power of faith and expelled from the Holy See. Otherwise, do you think that with such little stimulation alone he could awaken the Devil’s force sealed in his body? That's the seal left by Maria." The Devil of Evil laughed very exaggeratedly. "Ah, for love, I am willing to abandon the glory of God! ...It is really a romance branded in blood."

"Unfortunately, it seems that this time I can't see the touching love story," the Witch of Resentment sighed faintly.

"Attention, His Majesty is beginning to show the form of a magic dragon. Record the time. It is... 8:47 in the evening. If you’re optimistic, he could be completely demonized within 24 hours. I can't wait." The Devil of Evil looked at the Devil's black body in the lake of fire and the human who had begun to show the Devil's characteristics, and couldn't help but smile with expectation.

"I hope nothing will happen in these twenty-four hours. Contact the Dragon Ant Queen and order that Purgatory be sealed off now, especially in the area around the lake of fire," the Witch of Desperation said. "Don't say it’s in our name... The seal on the Devil of Slaughter is suspected to be loose, other people will naturally associate this with the Devil of Power."

"I’m afraid that the Dragon Ant Queen can't be contacted. Considering the time, she is now busy with 'life events'," said the Devil of Evil.

"Then contact her maid, she still has the authority to deal with this matter," the Witch of Desperation said.

　　&&&

He was already in hell.

Ning Zhou looked at everything around him and suddenly had this thought.

After the crazy battle, there were countless bodies of demons floating in the lake of fire, some of which had been swallowed up by lava, and some of which were rushing towards the lower reaches of the valley with the burning current.

The air seemed to be filled with scorching flames, burning from his mouth to his heart, and even his soul was ignited.

He stood in Purgatory’s lake of fire, inexorably transforming from a man into a devil.

How fragile human will was, that it couldn't prevent a man from dying, or a saint from degenerating into a demon.

Sharp talons grew on his hands, and his skin became cold and rough like a cold-blooded animal. Black scales spread all over his body like a plague, and a pair of bat-like wings grew behind him. He couldn't control the power of destruction. He had lost his human form and turned into a huge magic dragon.

A devil among demons, a Devil King among devils, an evil magic dragon symbolizing destruction. According to legend, the ancient world was destroyed by such a magic dragon, which had woken from chaos, flew while spraying angry flames that spread in all directions, and destroyed the whole world.

This kind of magic dragon had really appeared once in history. Twenty-two years ago, when the Devil of Destruction had led the demons to break through the seal and come to the world of humans. His demon form was just such a magic dragon. He held the law of destruction, but also the madness of destruction, wishing to destroy the world at all costs.

What had been a vague feeling had finally come true. When the force of destruction awakened, he understood everything.

It was ridiculous. Those who fought against the demons eventually became demons. Those who stared long into the abyss finally fell into the abyss. The evil force sleeping deep in his body laughed at him: Your whole life is a joke.

Fate had taken away everything from him: his only relative, his beloved, and now it wanted to destroy his last treasure.

Everything about him as a "human" had ceased to exist. What else could he do? What else could he do for this miserable world? What was the value of his existence?

Immense grief struck his soul, and the desperate black dragon roared and wailed at the sky blocked by rocks in the lake of fire. The force of destruction even tore the rock wall and let the distant light fall into Purgatory.

He looked at the light dazedly, as piously as when he had prayed so many times.

"He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

But why had fate given him such a cruel temptation? And he had been banished from his homeland; would God still help him and protect him?

Not anymore.

He was doomed to fall to such temptation.

Because God had given up on him.

Like the man who gave him half his blood, he would gradually lose himself to the original force of destruction, forget everything about himself, forget how he had once guarded the world, and finally bring endless pain and despair to this world.

Let it all end here.

Suicide was a sin, but if he lived, he would eventually bring more disasters and misfortunes to this scarred world.

He couldn't end the cruel fate imposed by this world, so at least he could not bring more suffering to this world.

Let him end it with his own hands!

In this lake of fire in Purgatory, holding warm memories, he would put a full stop to his life with this heart that still belonged to mankind.

But at that moment, he heard a voice that was too familiar to be a memory: "Ning Zhou—!!!”

He stopped at the edge of destruction and looked up.

Looked up to see the love of his life, returned to him.

-----

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

[rogue-durin-16]

THE FLOWER IN THE FORGE (part II/II)

Request: Thorin x fem human! reader please where they meet in Ered Luin during Thorin’s blacksmith days, she bonded with the rest of the Durins too especially Dis, so just cute & stuff until finally Thorin has to leave to reclaim Erebor, maybe a bit of an angsty bittersweet ending because the reader is not interested in being a queen

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x human!Reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags:

Requested by: @queenofmankind

The flower in the forge: @rosierosieelain

Permanent taglist: @queenofmankind @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722

Warnings: feelings duh

A/N: the second part is finally finished uwu, I hope you enjoy this one as much as the first one, though it's kinda long ngl, anyway enjoy <3

Part I

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

There were rumors almost immediately after Thorin had spent the night in my house, and they only increased when, past a week, we started courting each other. The people in town weren't exactly subtle, so we caught on them rather quickly.

"What are you doing here?" Thorin inquired after having seen me approaching the blacksmith's.

"I came to keep your company for a bit." my reply was casual and relaxed, as opposed to his tone, almost distressed. "Would you like me better away?" my question was meant to tease him, though it hid some insecurity.

"It is not like that." he grumbled, moving around the workplace; I couldn't say for sure if he was actually working or if he was avoiding having to lay his eyes on me.

"Then?"

He ceased his actions for a moment and sighed. "People talk." he almost whispered, glaring at every person that might had been staring at us.

"Well, let them." I shrugged, letting myself fall on the stool.

Unexpectedly, his eyes left his hands and dug into mines. "It does not amuse me one bit hearing these people talk about you." the intensity his ice blue eyes held was too much to bear; I had to fight the urge to look away. "nor the things that they say."

"Listen, that is very sweet of you, but if I don't mind it, then neither should you." He grunted and went back to his tasks. "Thorin." I pinched my nose at his deliberate disregard of me. "I'll leave now." I waited for an instant there, hoping to receive a response of some kind, but seeing I wasn't going to get any, I began to stand up.

"Thorin" we both looked at the entrance, where a dwarf-woman stood with arms crossed.

"Dís?" the raven-haired dwarf seemed not only caught off guard, but also tense. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to drag you back home personally," she entered the blacksmith's and took a seat on the wooden bench right across me. "since both my sons keep being thrown out."

Thorin kept his mouth shut, and so did I. Dís didn't seem to notice me, and I'd rather keep it like that as long as I could; if Thorin hadn't said anything about me, it was for a reason.

"Brother," Oh no. "you spend too much time in here." it was then that she looked up and met my eyes. I couldn't say for sure if I looked as scared as I was. "Is this the lass that got you smitten?" my eyes went wide and Thorin almost choked on the water he was drinking. "don't look so scared, kid, I won't bite you." I cleared my throat and tried to relax. "what is your name?"

"Y/n, ma'am."

"who told you?" Thorin inquired, hostile.

"Kíli." Thorin mumbled something in what I supposed was khuzdul. "You know how he is," Dís defended him. "If you wanted the courting to be a secret you should have kept her away from my sons."

"who else knows?"

"I think I shall leave now." I stated, walking to the entrance of the shop.

"nonsense." Dís replied, getting up too. "Stay, I did not mean to interrupt you."

"You didn't."

"She was leaving."

Thorin and I spoke simultaneously, which somehow made the situation more uncomfortable.

"In that case, I'll walk with you, if you don't mind." I shook my head no and she joined me at the entrance. "He's poor company anyway." I let out a chuckle at her words. "Tell me about you, Y/n."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

THORIN’S P. O. V.

"Dís came to visit today." Y/n informed me whilst brushing her hair in front of her old mirror. "she sends you regards."

"I have the feeling that my sister likes you more than she likes me." I chuckled, walking to stand behind Y/n.

"No wonder why" she teased, looking at me through the mirror as I carefully took her hair in one hand and the brush in the other. "She explained to me that touching another's hair is something very intimate for you." I stopped my actions at her intent words. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I... Don't know." I replied truthfully, resuming the brushing of her hair. "I guess I didn't want to impose my costumes."

"Can you please braid my hair?"

"Of course." I replied, separating her hair in four sections, just to be stopped by her hands as she turned her torso to meet me.

"No, I meant as in—" my eyes widened a little and her smile grew wider. "Can you please braid my hair, so I can braid yours too?" She bit her lower lip expectant.

I lifted her chin and laid my lips on hers in the most tender way I could. When we pulled away, her eyes shun with love and excitement equally, and I felt a beam making its way to my face. "Of course." I repeated, going to her side to braid a section of her hair.

When I looked at her reflection, I saw her already staring at me with such happiness it made my heart swell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

A year had passed since I had first met Thorin, and it had been the happiest year of my whole life.

But all good things come to an end, sooner rather than later, to my dismay.

Thorin appeared in front of my shop late night. He had business in his home that day so I wasn't expecting him to come back until the next morning, so when he showed up, I had the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

"Can we talk?"

"Of course," I closed the shop to the public and invited him to come inside. "What is it?"

"I'm leaving." I furrowed my brows in confusion and Thorin sighed. "I must reclaim my Kingdom." I sat down as realization started to overcome my confusion. "I cannot ask you to come with me," he came to me and took my hand in his. "But I can ask you to join me in a different way."

"Thorin..." my gaze stayed casted down, fixed in our hands, and when Thorin realize that wasn't going to change, he kneeled in front of me. "I don't—"

"I love you, Y/n." he sounded sanguine in his declaration. "Let me make you my queen."

"I love you too, Thorin." with a bittersweet smile, I kneeled too in front of him. "But I can't be your queen." his ice blue irises, though held pain, showed me that he already knew my answer. "There are endless reasons why I cannot," I replied, squeezing his hands. "but the main one is that I have no interest in being queen in a foreign land." before he could interrupt me, I kept explaining, "Thorin, that mountain is your home, but my home is here, you have to understand."

His eyes stared into mines with such intensity that the hurting and the love they held made my orbs well.

"I know," he whispered with a half smile "but I had to try." his voice trembled and a couple of tears ran down my cheeks, though they didn't get too far, since Thorin's thumbs were fast to wipe them gently. "listen now, amrâlimé, my future now holds nothing but uncertainty," a sweet-and-sour beam twisted the corner of his lips as he cupped my cheeks. "but one thing I'm sure of, and it is that I will love you forever."

"I will, too." I confessed, leaning on to kiss his lips.

It wasn't a passionate one, for it was a goodbye kiss. I savored it as much as I could, attempting to memorize how his lips felt, and so did he.

"Farewell, Y/n." he spoke, planting a chaste kiss on my forehead before getting up. "May Durin guard you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, expectedly, the blacksmith's shop was closed, and people spoke about Thorin Oakenshield, who had parted with some of his kin to take back what was theirs.

I took my hands to fidget with the bead at the end of my braid. I probably would not see him ever again, but I was certain my heart belonged to him, and his to me.

"Farewell, Thorin Oakenshield." I whispered to myself. "May Durin guard you."

[gb-fics]

Dressed in Confidence

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: So, you might have seen the self-cover Shou shared yesterday and it inspired me to write a fic right away. For the context: The character originally performing the song has a magic suit that makes him confident and popular with women. Please, don’t question how it works, we’ll just pretend a suit can magically change Shou’s appearance and personality in this fic ^-^ Also, if you haven’t seen the video, please check it out, because he is gorgeous in it and maybe it will make the story seem a little less random ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgzL_Ccmr1Y

„Just go over and talk to her already”, Yutaka urged quietly.

He didn’t know whom of the girls Shou had set his eyes on, but the glances he kept sneaking at the group of women opposite to their booth at the bar were more than obvious. Yutaka had waited to speak up until Jun and Kenji had went over to the counter to secure new drinks for themselves though. Shou was naturally self-conscious and Yutaka hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable in front of the others. But his silent longing was becoming hard to bear.

“I can’t just do that”, Shou protested. Obviously, he knew what Yutaka was talking about immediately. He didn’t even seem surprised that Yutaka had noticed. “I’m not some kind of gigolo.”

Yutaka frowned. Although he was pretty good at seeing Shou through, he sometimes didn’t understand his reasoning anyway.

“Chatting up girls in bars and being a gigolo are two totally different things.”

Next to him Shou squirmed on the bench seat.

“I just don’t have that kind of confidence”, he whined.

“You are handsome, famous and you have money. Women have every reason to be interested in you. So, pull yourself together.”

Yutaka had lost count of how often he had given Shou similar pep talks already.

“I’m not”, Shou said right away. He cleared his throat. “I mean, I’m famous. And I do have money. But I’m not handsome.”

It was difficult to come up with the right reply to that. Yutaka never found the right words to talk about Shou’s looks.

“You should let them decide for themselves”, he pointed out.

Shou shifted his weight again. He reached down to check for the bag he kept on the floor between his legs. He had kept checking for it all evening, as if he was scared it might suddenly disappear.

“Please, if I go over there, I won’t even be able to look them in the eyes.” Shou winced.

Yutaka hoped that Jun and Kenji would hurry. The conversation was starting to make him uneasy. He didn’t know how to cheer Shou up without praising him, and he didn’t know how to praise him without making him uncomfortable. Being Shou’s friend could be difficult.

“What’s in the bag anyway?”, he changed the topic. Not the best solution, but at least a way to distract Shou from his self-pity.

“Ah, I wrote Party wo Tomenaide for that franchise, remember? They’re currently working on this magic suit and they gave me a prototype when I recorded the video for the self-cover. It’s supposed to make you cool and confident and popular with women.”

“And you brought it to the bar?” Yutaka hadn’t meant to let disdain sneak into his voice, but Shou pulled up his shoulders instinctively as if he wanted to shield himself from potential judgement.

“Just in case”, he said defensively. “We sometimes end up talking to women, when we’re in a group and I thought it might be a good chance to try it out. See if it even works. In case there is ever something I’ll need a lot of confidence for.”

Yutaka felt soothed to think Shou had only eyed the women as test objects to sate his curiosity about the suit and that he had not fallen in love from across the room. His tendencies in that regard were sometimes worrisome.

“Well then, give it a try”, he suggested. He had heard about the suit but hadn’t known Shou actually owned a prototype. He was curious, if it would work. Shou’s confidence could surely use an occasional boost and it would be great to no longer be the one responsible for it.

“If you insist”, Shou mumbled, but he was already fumbling with his bag. It was obvious he had only waited for some sort of permission.

He pulled out a suit coat and inhaled soundly before he got up. For a moment, he just stood there with the piece of clothing in his hands indecisively. Then he slipped it on in a surprisingly smooth motion.

All Yutaka did was blink and the next second, a completely changed person stood in front of him. Shou’s traditional Tamiya shirt had miraculously transformed into a silky, black suit. It even came with matching dress shoes. But it wasn’t just that. His hair had changed, too. It was styled in perfect shape and showed green streaks that made his look seem edgy and interesting. He was even wearing makeup that differed his usual style. A bright yellow flower stuck in his buttonhole.

Shou had transformed into someone so conventionally attractive, he might indeed start working at a host club.

Absent-mindedly he straightened his suit coat and turned towards the group of women.

He looked dazzling, but almost like a stranger.

Yutaka was surprised that he hesitated for so long before approaching the women anyway. He followed him with his eyes, curious how this would turn out.

Shou’s posture seemed straighter than usually as he walked through the room, yet he still managed to look awkward. He looked like a person who was arguing with himself about every step.

Finally, he stopped right behind a cute girl with bangs. Yutaka should have been able to guess it was her whom Shou had been watching. He would have chatted up her more light-haired friend, but when it came to Shou, she was just his type.

The girl didn’t notice him, though.

Shou just stood for a moment, although her friends had already noticed him. Seemingly, Shou had no idea how to draw attention to himself. He hesitated for far too long, before he reached out and tapped the girl on the shoulder. She flinched, which caused Shou to jolt in return and the whole situation was so awkward to watch, that Yutaka winced under his breath. The good looks and the confidence to approach women had done nothing for Shou’s coolness.

The girl turned around and even from across the room, Yutaka could tell that she seemed startled at Shou’s appearance. Her expression wasn’t annoyed but spoke of pleasant surprise. If a girl looked at you like that at first sight, it was very difficult to blow it.

Even from across the room Yutaka could tell that Shou would blow it.

Instead of looking at the girl while talking, he kept his eyes on the ground and his posture shifted, making it seem as if he wanted to curl back up into himself. He looked exactly as miserable and self-conscious talking to women as he had as a teenager. Everything about his body language radiated insecurity.

Yutaka sighed.

The woman shook her head. Instead of taking it with dignity, Shou managed to look even more miserable. Knowing him, Yutaka assumed he was probably blushing. He still didn’t make eye-contact.

After a very painful minute, Shou turned around and shuffled back to their table. He no longer seemed confident at all. His outward handsomeness remained, but it didn’t match with the way he carried himself at all.

“Sorry”, Yutaka said. “At least now you know.”

Shou sat down on the bench next to him again. Yutaka noticed that he wasn’t slumping down as usual, though, but sat surprisingly straight. It made him look taller and more self-assured.

“Too bad the suit is not working.”

“Oh, I don’t mind”, Shou said and turned towards him. His voice wasn’t as quiet and gloomy as Yutaka had expected. He spoke smugly. “I’d rather spend my time with you anyway.”

Yutaka eyed him suspiciously. The makeup suited him; his features looked more contoured and his skin smooth. His lips were always wide, but tonight they glistened invitingly. It was still Shou’s face, but the makeup brought out all its good qualities more strongly.

“What?”, he asked.

“Why would I waste my time with these women, when I can spend the night with a pretty guy like you?”, Shou asked. He was meeting Yutaka’s eyes head on. That was rare for him already, but tonight his gaze was challenging rather than stubborn.

Yutaka was so irritated by his unnaturally confident tone, that it took him a moment to realize what was going on.

“Oh, ha ha, very funny”, he said dryly.

“I mean it”, Shou insisted and placed his hand on Yutaka’s shoulder. He often did that, especially when he got tipsy and he had already had a couple of beers tonight, though by no means enough to justify him acting so out of character. His touch right now felt different, however. He wasn’t just seeking out body contact, he was using the gesture as an excuse to lean in, bringing them closer together. Suddenly, Yutaka was very aware of how close Shou was sitting.

“Let me buy you a drink”, he said, before turning around. Shou usually hated calling over the waiter and when they went to a restaurant together, he normally left it to the others. He was too shy and polite to raise his voice at strangers.

Now, he raised his arm and called out loudly: “Excuse me?” to make the young waitress turn around. “A bottle of champagne, please. Your most expensive one.”

The waitress nodded and headed off.

Shou turned back to Yutaka.

“Champagne? The expensive one? What’s gotten into you?”, Yutaka asked, still irritated. Before this, he could have written it off as a joke, but Shou would never waste money just to prank him. “You never order anything high-end.”

He still felt like he was talking to a stranger.

“Nothing but the best for my kitten”, Shou said.

Yutaka chocked.

“What?! What did you just call me?”

“Kitten”, Shou repeated. He sounded hoarse. His eyes trailed down Yutaka’s body and he didn’t try to hide the fact that he was shamelessly checking him out. It made Yutaka feel unexpectedly hot.

“Unless you prefer another pet name?”

And then Shou smiled.

It wasn’t a smug, cocky smile. His smile was warm and genuine and it looked just a little bit insecure as if he worried that he had crossed a line. It made Shou look shy and kind and charming. His teeth weren’t showing, but his lips seemed even wider and absolutely gorgeous and the small dimple on his left cheek didn’t seem as misplaced as usual, but it fit in perfectly with his handsome face. The smile turned him from a stranger into nothing but Shou, but the best version of Shou that he could possibly be. It was Shou the way he would look if he were no longer worried and self-deprecating; still shy but no longer scared.

Yutaka’s knees grew weak. But it wasn’t just his knees. It was his shoulders that suddenly held no tension anymore and his arms, that turned into butter and his whole body felt like it might just melt away when Shou smiled at him like this and called him cute names.

“Uhm”, he said.

“Your champagne”, the waitress interrupted them and Yutaka turned hastily, glad for the interruption that allowed him to clear his head. Something about this suit seemed to be working at least.

The waitress placed a bucket filled with ice on the table, that held a bottle of champagne. Steam was rising from the bottleneck, indicating that it had just been opened. Yutaka hadn’t expected it to be done for them already, but it was probably better that way. They would surely have created a mess otherwise.

The bottle came with four glasses and only their sight made Yutaka realize he had completely forgotten about Jun and Kenji. He wondered what was taking them so long.

“Let me get that for you”, Shou offered, although Yutaka hadn’t moved to fix himself a glass at all.

Shou placed his fingers on Yutaka’s wrist as if he wanted to physically stop him from helping himself. Once again, the gesture wasn’t untypical for Shou. He often touched people while talking to them, but this time, it had a different quality. Usually, his touches were distracted as if he didn’t really notice what his body was doing at all. But right now, he looked down on his hand resting on Yutaka’s bare wrist, and then he looked up, meeting his eyes, as if he wanted to make absolutely sure, that Yutaka became aware of the contact. His touch was fully intentional this time and Yutaka sensed heat creeping up his neck.

The touch lasted just long enough to not feel accidental, then Shou pulled back and reached for the bottle of champagne instead. He closed his long, slender fingers around the bottleneck firmly and took up a glass. His movements were secure and controlled. Yutaka had always admired Shou’s hands, that seemed too elegant and coordinated for someone who moved the way he did. But when it came to his hands, Shou always seemed to know what he was doing.

He poured a glass of champagne without spilling a drop and held it out to Yutaka.

Yutaka thought that with all the things that had changed, Shou’s hands had stayed exactly the same.

He took the glass and Shou held his gaze for a moment. It was Yutaka, who looked away first. Shou was wearing coloured lenses and his eyes were bright and intriguing. He didn’t seem in a hurry as he poured himself a glass as well.

Yutaka watched his movements closely. He could still recognize Shou’s way of moving, but he seemed less stressed and therefore less awkward. The only real difference seemed to be, that he was relaxed for a change and Yutaka wondered, if Shou would always look this sexy, if only he managed to put him at ease more.

Shou placed the bottle back into the bucket and held up his glass to Yutaka while meeting his eyes again.

“To a night full of fun”, he said. He said it like he was thinking of something dirty.

“To a fun night”, Yutaka agreed and clinked his glass to Shou’s. He did his best to make it sound less suggestive.

He emptied half of the glass in large gulps. The champagne made him feel bubbly inside, but he doubted it was because of the alcohol. This version of Shou made him nervous.

“Tastes expensive”, he observed lamely, although he couldn’t tell one champagne from the other.

Shou smiled again and once more, Yutaka thought that his lips looked stunning tonight.

“Oh, you guys ordered champagne!”, Kenji’s voice chimed in unexpectedly.

“When did you change, Shou? Is that the magic suit?”, Jun asked and pulled up his chair to sit down opposite to them.

Although Yutaka had hoped to be rescued from this weird tension, he still felt mad at them for interrupting.

Kenji placed himself on the bench next to Shou.

“He brought the suit to the bar to pick up girls, but it doesn’t work”, Yutaka declared maliciously. He was no longer sure if he was annoyed with Jun and Kenji for showing up, or for staying away for so long, or with Shou for acting so weird in the first place.

Shou patted the bench next to himself.

“Here, Kenji, come closer”, he said.

Kenji shuffled closer.

“Why?”, he asked. It was very much like Kenji to comply first and ask questions later.

Shou raised his hand and ran his forefinger across Kenji’s sharp jawline.

“So I can get a better look at your handsome face.”

Something inside of Yutaka constricted uncomfortably. He didn’t know why he felt so upset, but he couldn’t deny that he felt jealous of Kenji. Since the suit hadn’t worked on the girls, he had assumed it was only him having this effect on Shou.

“Oh god, what’s up with you?”, Jun asked, sounding seriously worried.

Kenji gave an embarrassed sound, but started pouring champagne for him and Jun as well without waiting for an invitation.

“The suit is turning him gay”, Yutaka explained nonchalantly and emptied his own glass.

“What’s turning me gay is sitting here with such cute guys”, Shou said lightly. He didn’t sound embarrassed at all. Rather than joking, he seemed flirting.

“That’s disturbing”, Jun said somewhat too loudly. “Someone get him out of this suit!”

Shou batted his eyelashes before looking right at Jun at the other side of the table.

“Please, Jun”, he said. “If you want to undress me, all you have to do is ask.”

Jun made a startled noise that turned into a mixture between a nervous laugh and a cough.

Yutaka placed his glass on the table too soundly.

Shou turned towards him. He leaned in closely.

“Don’t be jealous, kitten”, he said lowly. “I haven’t forgotten about you.”

Yutaka wondered how Shou had noticed his feelings without even looking at him, when Yutaka had troubles naming them himself. He felt oddly happy when he heard the pet name again. Shou hadn’t used it for Jun and Kenji. Maybe that meant something.

“I’m not jealous”, he lied and reached for the bottle of champagne. “I just need more alcohol, if you’re going to stay like this.”

He poured himself the rest of the champagne until his glass was so full, it nearly overflowed, before he put the empty bottle back onto the table.

Shou pulled the flower from his buttonhole. Up close, Yutaka could tell that it was a yellow rose.

“Here”, Shou said. When his voice was so low and deep, Yutaka’s body turned into butter again. He wondered, if Shou had the same effect on Jun and Kenji while wearing the suit.

“What are you doing? Get that thing out of my face!”

“Take it”, Shou insisted. “This one is only for you. To remind you, that you’re special to me.”

Yutaka hesitated. He wished Shou would sound joking, because a joking Shou was something he knew how to deal with. He still had the feeling that he was getting pranked, but he didn’t know how to avoid it.

He took the rose gingerly and placed it on the table plate demonstratively instead of keeping it in his hands. Shou’s facial expression was impossible to read. Yutaka could not tell, if he had offended him.

“It’s empty already?!”, Kenji complained. He had taken up the champagne bottle and studied it in disbelief.

“I can order another round!”, Shou offered right away and already raised his hand, but luckily, Kenji stopped him.

“It’s fine”, he said quickly. He seemed to be a little uncomfortable around this new version of Shou as well.

“Yes, I think it’s time we all go home”, Jun confirmed.

“No!”, Shou protested. “No, no! This party can’t stop! We have to keep drinking! Let’s celebrate all night.”

“It’s late”, Kenji pointed out.

“And you seem to need rest the most”, Jun agreed.

“You should take off this suit”, Kenji added. He spoke very gently, not like he was soothing Shou, but as if he was seriously worried about him.

“They’re right”, Yutaka said softly. He realized that he was worried about Shou, too. Tonight, he seemed unpredictable and possibly reckless. “Let’s pay the bill and then I’ll take you home.”

Shou turned and looked at him cheekily.

“I see, so you want to continue the party elsewhere.” His tone left no room for wondering what kind of party he had in mind.

“What? No!”

“I’ll take you to a fancy hotel”, Shou suggested and this time, he leaned in so far that Yutaka involuntarily pulled back. “Just give me a chance. If you let me, I’ll make you feel things that no woman has ever made you feel before.”

Yutaka’s neck felt hot again and now his face started to heat as well. He thought of everything that entailed. He thought of feeling Shou inside of him.

“Just let me try”, Shou coaxed, but he no longer sounded flirtatious. He sounded like he was begging. The despair in Shou’s voice scared him. He didn’t know what to do with it.

“Shou”, he said as sternly as possible and grabbed him by the shoulder to push him back. It felt like dealing with someone, who was very, very drunk. “It’s really time you take off that suit and get some sleep.”

Shou pulled back from his touch and wrinkles were showing around the root of his nose. The lines made his face look so characteristically himself, that Yutaka felt almost relieved.

“I don’t want to”, Shou said and finally, he sounded like his stubborn self again. “I don’t want this party to end.” He seemed to be repeating the words like a spell now and gestured towards the table as if he wanted to include everything. “I don’t want this night to end. I want to stay with you all night.” He gestured towards himself. “Like this.”

Yutaka didn’t fully understand what Shou meant, but his emotions seemed so raw and honest, it pained him anyway.

“You can’t, Shou. You are not yourself.”

Shou hung his head.

“I am”, he said. “I am.”

“Hey”, Yutaka said gently and touched his arm. Jun and Kenji stayed out of the conversation like they always did, when Shou turned difficult. It was only ever Yutaka, who managed to soothe him. “You need some rest.”

“Fine”, Shou agreed reluctantly. “But you have to take me. And I’m keeping on the suit.”

“Okay.” Yutaka sighed. He figured they could argue over the details later. He looked up at their bandmates. “Why don’t you guys go pay? We’ll pay you back later. I’ll make sure Shou gets home safely. Maybe the fresh air will help.”

“Alright”, Jun agreed. The fact, that neither of them argued about splitting the bill immediately although it contained the expensive bottle of champagne proved they were all irritated by Shou.

“Come here”, Yutaka said as gently as possible and took Shou’s arm to pull him up from the bench. “Let’s get you home.”

Shou followed without resistance. He picked up his bag, that was now empty and allowed Yutaka to guide him over to the front door of the bar.

It was colder outside, although the temperatures were warm enough that they didn’t need a jacket. The cold air cleared Yutaka’s mind a little, but finally getting some distance to Shou certainly helped as well. Inside the bar, he had started to feel dizzy.

Yutaka pulled out his phone and opened an app.

“I think I’m going to call us a cab, alright? We can’t take the train with you looking like this. Also, you might try to pick up random guys, if we don’t get you home straight away.”

“You’re jealous again”, Shou observed and this time, he sounded gleeful.

“I’m not”, Yutaka muttered and requested a ride before putting the phone back into his pocket.

When he looked up, he realized Shou was standing awfully close again. The suit seemed to be making him taller as well, because Yutaka had to look up to him slightly. Maybe it was just his straight posture in combination with the heel of the dress shoes though.

“Have you heard of personal space before?”, he complained and took a step backwards.

Shou took a step forward immediately. If anything, he was standing even closer than before.

“Sorry, that my handsomeness is making you nervous”, he said with a sleek grin. Yutaka had not thought that to be sentence he would ever hear from Shou unironically.

“Uh”, Yutaka said. He had been meaning to deny it, but Shou’s face was so close now, that he forgot how to say words.

“Shh, kitten”, Shou said quietly. He reached up and cupped Yutaka’s face with both hands. His touch was gentle but very secure. Yutaka could sense how bony and strong his fingers felt. They were surprisingly cool.

He knew that he was supposed to pull back, but he stood frozen, and he felt guilty for that. He knew that Shou was not himself and it was up to him to keep the situation from getting weird. But truth was, that he liked the way Shou touched him and he liked it when he held his gaze for so long and he liked it, when he called him kitten.

“Don’t”, he forced out softly anyway. “You can’t just do something like that in public.”

They were the only ones out on the street, but someone might walk out of the bar any moment. Anyone could see them.

“I don’t care”, Shou said. “I don’t want to worry about who could possibly see us. I’m tired of always worrying. I just want to kiss you.” He paused. “May I?”

Yutaka knew exactly what the answer was supposed to be. Under no circumstances could he allow this to happen, because it was reckless and dumb and moreover immoral.

“Yes”, he whispered.

Shou leaned in and kissed him with astonishing force. His kiss wasn’t hesitant at all. He kissed like he knew what he wanted. His lips were soft and his hold on Yutaka was firm. It made him feel very safe and oddly frail. He parted his lips and allowed Shou to kiss him like no one had ever kissed him in a public space before. Their teeth clicked together and Shou’s nose brushed his cheek and when he pulled back eventually, Yutaka was out of breath.

Shou looked at him and he broke into that sweet, bashful smile again, that looked so much like him, except lighter and happier than Yutaka had ever seen him before.

For a moment, he thought that he might just give in. He considered going back to a hotel with this new version of Shou, who would hold him in his strong arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear and kiss him full of confidence. Yutaka would grow weak in his arms, because he was handsome and cool and self-assured.

But it wasn’t real.

“Stop it”, he said as gently as possible as Shou moved to lean in once again. “This is no good.”

“We can go somewhere more private”, Shou offered immediately.

Yutaka shook his head.

“It’s this suit. There is something wrong with it. It obviously works on men instead of women. It’s making you weird. You need to take it off.”

“No, no, please”, Shou said and he reached up instinctively, clawing his hand into the lapel of the suit coat as if he was scared Yutaka might try to tear it off. “This suit is not changing me. It’s just making me more confident. It’s … This is me. This is the version of me that’s in my head. It’s who I want to be. All the time. I don’t want to … I can’t let this end. I want to stay this version. I don’t want this party to end.” Vaguely he gestured back to the bar.

“So, you want to be someone, who promiscuously hits on all of his bandmates?” It had been meant as a joke, but it came out bitter. The way Shou had touched Kenji’s face made their kiss just now meaningless – regardless of whenever it was the suit or something Shou repressed violently.

“I want to be someone who is at terms with and open about his sexuality”, Shou blurted out.

Yutaka was pretty sure that the surprised was written all over his face. Before tonight, Shou had never indicated liking men at all.

“I want to be able to joke about it”, Shou said. “I don’t want to hide from the people closest to me. But most importantly, I want to show you how I feel. You’re the person I …”

He finally let go of his suit coat and his arm dropped down by his side as if he no longer had the energy to gesture at all.

“I wanted to try if the suit worked. I thought, if it does, I’d one day wear it to tell you. I wasn’t meaning to do it right away. Things got out of hand. I was scared of this night ending, because … I don’t know what will come afterwards.”

Yutaka licked his lips.

“So, you …?”, he started, but didn’t know how to finish the question.

“Yeah”, Shou confirmed. “I love you. And when I’m wearing this suit … when I’m wearing it, I’m cool and handsome. I’ll keep wearing it. And if you give me a chance, I think I can make you like me a little too. You allowed me to kiss you like this. You are at least somewhat attracted to me in this suit. I can be this version of myself for you. I’ll keep being it.”

Yutaka shook his head slightly.

“What are you going to do?” He wasn’t mocking Shou. He was sad, because Shou sounded so desperate. “Keep wearing the suit in your sleep?”

Shou shrugged and smiled helplessly.

“I hope they’ll design magic pyjamas soon”, he said.

Yutaka looked at Shou and all he saw was a handsome host. He had no idea where the despair in his voice was coming from. It was as if he couldn’t see below the pretty surface at all.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”, Shou plead. “I confessed to you. Don’t I deserve an answer?”

“Please, take off the suit”, Yutaka said. He suddenly felt exhausted. He was tired of dealing with this person in front of him. He just wanted to talk to his friend. “I want to give you a proper reply, but I can’t when you are wearing this suit.”

“It makes me better”, Shou insisted.

“This …” Yutaka gestured towards Shou and the green streaks in his hair. “I feel like I’m talking to a stranger. I need to make sure it’s really you.”

Shou looked at him for a long time and Yutaka was convinced he would decline. But then he nodded and slowly took off the suit coat.

He blinked and then Shou was already different.

He was back in his Tamiya shirt, his arms bare and pale and awkwardly holding on to the suit coat. His hair was blonde again and looked uncombed because he had run his hands through it early this evening. His face was flushed and bare and his eyes were tiny, but dark and so much warmer than when he was wearing coloured lenses. He kept his eyes cast down and yet Yutaka had the feeling he was seeing them for the first time tonight. He seemed small, hunched over once again and his head too large for his shoulders, making him look frail and in need of protection.

Yutaka felt a giant wave of affection rushing through him and he had to stop himself from wrapping his arms around Shou.

He had missed him. He had missed him so much more than he had ever expected. And he thought that this awkward little guy with the small eyes and the messy hair was the most beautiful version of a human being possible.

“Hey”, he said quietly.

Shou looked up briefly, but he didn’t manage to hold his gaze for too long, just as it had always been.

“Hey”, he replied.

“Do you …?” Yutaka broke off. For a moment, he considered that Shou might have forgotten about everything that had happened tonight. “Do you still feel the same? Without the suit?”

“Yeah”, Shou confirmed. “The same. Plus, an awful lot of regret for saying it out loud.”

Yutaka chuckled.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Shou looked down onto the suit coat in his hands. His hands still looked the same. “I behaved awful tonight. Sorry for putting you into a position like this. Let’s just forget I ever said anything. In fact, let’s just forget about this entire night.”

Worried lines were showing everywhere on Shou’s face. His face looked all weird and wrinkly. He looked like his old gloomy, over-thinking self again.

“I should probably burn this thing to make sure I never do anything this stupid again.”

“You probably should”, Yutaka agreed.

Shou had looked happier when wearing the suit, more relaxed. Yutaka wanted him to look this happy always, but he knew they’d have to find a different way for that.

“Sorry”, Shou mumbled again.

Yutaka paused for a moment.

“Though, if I’m honest, I’m going to miss you calling me your kitten”, he confessed jokingly.

Shou looked irritated. Yutaka let him suffer for just a few seconds more.

“I’m also going to miss you kissing me”, he added.

Shou looked up and sucked in his lower lip. His teeth were showing visibly. He looked by no means conventionally attractive and Yutaka loved him for that.

“Really?”, Shou asked insecurely.

“Really”, Yutaka assured him without hesitation.

Shou started smiling and it was the same smile as before. The warm one with the cute dimple, that made his lips look gorgeous and that was shy and hesitant, but finally happy without a trace of worry. And Yutaka thought, that they were going to get there and that they wouldn’t need a magic suit for it at all.

“We can always work on that”, Shou said. “Right, kitten?”

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 63

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @ocfairygodmother​

  With a late afternoon rain came a break in the oppressive humidity; a much cooler breeze appearing as the sun began to set.   The four oldest are already tucked into bed;  satisfied and content after daddy obliged every request for ‘just one more story’ and they were spoiled with seemingly endless cuddles, hugs, and kisses.  So relaxed and secure knowing that he’s under the same room that sleep came easily to all of them; worn out from not only the excitement of him showing up unexpectedly, but then spending every waking moment of the rest of the day vying for his attention. Constantly talking over one another, fighting over who go to sit on his shoulders when they showed him the animals, squabbling over who got to be beside him at dinner. It’s only been four days since they’d seen him at the airport, but it may as well have been a lifetime to them; ten minutes not nearly enough to erase the ache in their little hearts or the feeling of loneliness inside of them.

While not exactly a constant fixture in their lives at times because of the job and its unpredictability, he’d always been a hands-on father; starting right from the moment they found out there was a baby -or babies, in this twins’ case- on the way. Attentive and loving and even more protective than usual; determined to keep both her and the life inside of her as safe, secure, and healthy as possible. Feeling pride and wonder that he’d even been given the chance to be a father again; able to create life and nurture it when in all aspects, he should have died that day on the Sultana Kamal Bridge.  Every one of the pregnancies...everyone of the kids...serving as reminders of not only  just how lucky he’d gotten that  day, but that someone who’d made the mistakes and the bad decisions he’d had could still be worthy enough to be a dad once more.  And he’s always been determined to be the best one he can possibly be; wanting to not only right all previous wrongs, but to prove that he could be a better man -and husband and father- than his old man had tried to teach him to be.  Loving his children with every shred of his being and devoting himself to every aspect of their care and upbringing; even things as simple and mundane as  changing diapers or giving them bottles or at the very least bringing to her for a feed.

As the first three got older, he took on new challenges and changes to guide them and help shape them for their futures.   Whether it be something as profound as encouraging them to be compassionate and accepting and loving, or something as ‘normal’ as teaching them to surf and play soccer or even learning how to braid his little girl’s hair. No task too big or too small. Never complaining about being woken up in the middle of the night or hesitating when it comes to both showing affection and receiving it. And as corny and as sappy as it sounds, Esme realizes just how fortunate she really is; having someone that is willing to do it all without having to even be asked. She’s heard plenty of horror stories from the moms at school; tales of lazy and useless husbands that complain about even a half an hour spent for their children. Always able to brag about him and then able to go  home knowing how she ‘lucked out’. Somehow, even during the craziest and possibly scariest time of her, managing to find the best possible person -and partner- to have a family with.

She stands by the open door of the balcony that leads off the bedroom she’d been ‘assigned to’. Both watching and listening to him as he lays flat on his back on  a two person lounge chair with Addie on his chest; her tiny fists curled tightly around his index fingers as she alternates between raising her head and resting her chin against him.  Those  enormous dark eyes never leaving his face and  a happy -and completely genuine- smile taking over her face every time he talks to her; the corners of her eyes and the bridge of her nose crinkling. He changes when he’s with her. In the same way he had with all the others when they were babies.   This big, tough, strong man suddenly so gentle; his voice softer and calmer. Deeper, even. Enamored with her in the same way she is with him; his own eyes sparkling and crinkling and his own smile both testament to the fact that he finds her a complete wonder. Not quite believing that she really exists; questioning what he could have possibly done to deserve her.

He’s a wonder himself. So brave and fearless and capable of inflicting so much pain and suffering, yet possessing so much tenderness and love.  It would be so easy for him to be jaded and broken; to fall back into old habits and to become dependent on old, dangerous vices. But no matter how bad things get, no matter how difficult or impossible they seem, he puts all his time and effort into being a  good man. Into loving his wife and children with everything he has.

“What are you guys doing?” she asks, as she steps out onto the balcony, drawing her hoodie tight across her body.

Tyler tilts his head back and smiles up at her. “Nothing. Just hanging out. Talking.”

“I hope you’re not telling her gruesome stories.”

“I would never do that to my little peanut,” he declares, and runs a palm over Addie’s hair, hand settling on the back of her head. “Daddy would never do that to you. He saves that stuff for mommy.”

“Because mommy so wants to hear  your tales of killing people with garden tools. Look at the way she looks at you…” Esme leans over the back of the lounger and presses a kiss to his lips. “...like you’re got rainbows and glitter coming out of your ass or something. Already a daddy’s girl.”

“Nothing wrong with that. She knows who loves her the most. Who used to bring mommy tacos and ice cream and pop tarts at three in the morning when she was still in mommy’s tummy.”

“She definitely likes your voice. Not that I blame her; it’s a very nice voice.”

“She’s strong as hell already. Already holding her up on her own. None of the other ones did it that early. And she’s got a grip on her. Small and mighty. Like her momma. And you look just like your mom.”  he addresses Addie now, as he removes his fingers from her grip and lifts her higher onto his chest; lips resting briefly against her forehead. “Beautiful just like her. Daddy’s not going to complain that you didn’t get his genes.”

“How do you think I feel? The first four look just like you. It’s about time one of them took after me.  She does have your smile, though. Even her eyes and her nose wrinkle like yours do.”

“Yeah, but she’s all you. And that’s good,” he smiles up at her once more, as her hands slide over his shoulder and down his chest and she pecks the corner of his mouth. “It’s very good. She’s incredible. Just like you.”

“Are you hopped up on pain meds?” She teases.

“Not yet.  Why? I’m not allowed to be all sappy and shit with my wife?”

“You’re allowed,” she says, then sinks down beside him, accepting a short, sweet kiss before stretching out on her side. Chin resting on his good shoulder, one hand on his stomach and the other just above his head; fingers  gently combing through his hair. “She’s putting on weight. She’s going to graduate out of preemie clothes and diapers. Only took two and a half months.”

“She’s tiny. Like you.”

“I don’t understand how something that small can come from someone the size of you. None of the other kids were that small. Not even Tanner and he was sick. And Declan? Don’t even get me started on that kid. That was like giving birth to a toddler.”

“She’s always going to be tiny. I mean, you hit twelve and never grew again.”

“You know what, Tyler? Fuck you and your short jokes.”

“Don’t be bitter because you can’t get on the rides at the amusement park or reach things at the bottom of the washer.”

“You’re not very funny,” she grumbles, and presses a kiss to his chin. “Just because you’re absurdly tall and absurdly good looking. What a burden you have to live with every day. How do you manage? How do you carry such a heavy load all the time?”

“Heavy load? We’re talking about my dick?”

“You’re a pig,” she declares. “Don’t talk like that in front of my child. She doesn’t need to hear these things. Look at the way she smiles at you. You’re her favourite already. Not that I blame her; you’re my favourite too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. No one else comes close.”

He smiles, then turns his face into hers and kisses her. “We did good, yeah? With her?”

“We did. With all five of them. And at the risk of sounding conceited, we make some pretty damn good looking kids.”

“Some pretty amazing kids.”

“Well, they have an amazing dad, so…” she raises her head from his shoulder, regarding him intensely as she runs her fingers through his hair. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Tyler admits. “I really don’t.”

“Are you going to tell me about it, or…”

“I don’t really want to.”

“I think you should. I think you NEED to talk about it. And I think deep down, you want to. You don’t have to shelter me, Tyler.  I married a mercenary; I went into things understanding the life and knowing the risks. You don’t have to hide stuff from me. You think you’d realize that by now.”

“I do. But YOU should realize that I do it to protect you.”

“Protect me from what? You? Because that’s bullshit and you know it. I’ve never once been afraid of you. Not in the slightest. And despite what you think, you’re not a burden. We went into this...marriage, having a family...expecting to help shoulder each other’s problems.  So stop trying to do it all on your own. You’re strong, but you’re not THAT strong.”

He sighs heavily, then drops a kiss on the top of Addie’s head

“What happened, Tyler? Because I know this goes way beyond someone just jumping you. What the hell went wrong?”

“I don’t know. It was fucked up right from the beginning. As soon as I got there. It was this old factory turned into student housing or some shit. I had these four guys to take out; four shots, that’s all I needed. They were across the street at some bar or restaurant or whatever. I was waiting for them to come out. It should have been so fucking simple.”

Esme rolls over onto her stomach, chin resting on his chest as she regards him; patiently waiting for him to continue. She doesn’t push; that will only cause him to shut down completely. Instead she bides her time. Watching his face as her fingers fidget with the chain around his neck.

“Things started going to shit. The street lights kept going on and off; just the two right in front of us. Then they went out completely. So I went to get the scope out of my bag, so I could see what the fuck I was doing.”  His eyes narrow and his brow furrows as he attempts to recall the details.  “And I don’t know I saw him or heard him but all of a sudden he was just there?”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. Just some guy. Big bastard. Wearing a black ski mask. It happened so fucking fast. I didn’t even get a chance to react. Nailed me right in the shoulder; like he knew where to get me. Where one of my weak spots is.”

“How would he know that?”

Tyler shrugs. “Nik there’s a mole. She said she’s looking into it, but I don’t know. She hasn’t said anything since.”

“What do you think”

“I think something’s fucked. He knew where to get me; knee, back, shoulder. He knew it and he took advantage of it.  I stand a fucking chance. That’s how quick he was. He was so fast, babe. He wasn’t fucking around.”

“And where did these come from?” She runs a hand along the enormous, painful to the touch bruises on his biceps; arm now out of the sling. At least for the evening. “Both arms? And that’s NOT from someone grabbing you.”

“It was his knees. He wanted to keep me still; so I couldn’t get to my holster or the rifle. Fucking kept grabbing me by the throat; trying to choke me out.  Kept asking me if I give up. I basically told him to go fuck himself. I wasn’t giving up. No way in hell. All I kept thinking about was you…” his voice cracks with emotion and tears well in his eyes. “...all I kept thinking about was you. About me getting a second chance and that I wasn’t done with it; I wasn’t ready to let that end. That I didn’t want to leave you or my kids. That I needed to survive. That YOU needed me to survive.”

“Tyler…” she presses a kiss to his cheek, then nestles her nose against his temple; eyes closed and her forehead against him, fingers still moving through his hair. “...it’s okay. Just breathe. That’s all you have to do. Just breathe.”

“I wasn’t going out like that. I wasn’t letting it end like that. I wasn’t letting US end. So I fought back. But I couldn’t get away. No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough. He was so fucking strong, babe. Tall and big and heavy as fuck.”

“How did you get away?”

“I don’t know. There’s A LOT I don’t know. That I don’t remember. It’s all a big blur. It’s all there there and I know it’s all there but I can’t piece it together and none of it makes sense.”

“Well tell me what you do remember,” Esme encourages. “It doesn’t have to make sense. Just tell me whatever comes to you.”

“I know he drugged me. I remember that part.”

“Drugged you? What…?”

“He had a needle. I remember seeing it. I remember feeling it. Right there…” he lays a finger against the right side of his neck.  “...just jammed it in. It was cold; whatever was in it. It was cold and it burned.”

She heaves a long, shaky sigh; her own tears threatening. “If he wanted to kill you, why would he do that? Why…?”

“He didn’t want to kill me. He wanted to knock my ass out. He probably had a few buddies waiting to help get me out of there. I know that sounds crazy. It sounds fucked up even to me. But I know that’s what was going to happen; what Mahajan told them to do. And I don't know where they were going to take me. Somewhere in the city, out of it, I don’t know. But it wouldn’t have been good once they got me there.”

“I don’t even want what to think about it,” her voice trembles.

“They would’ve let you know. That I was still alive. And they would have made you sure you knew what they were doing to me. They would have sent you pictures or made me call you or mailed you pieces of me.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” she repeats, then promptly bursts into tears; one hand clutching the front of his shirt and the  other at his hair, face buried in his neck. “Please don’t. Don’t talk about it. Just stop.”

****

His shoulder throbs just with the simple act of laying his hand on Addie’s back to keep her secure. And he wraps his left arm around his wife’s trembling body, drawing her tightly into his side. Eyes closed and his chin resting on the top of her head; hand sliding up the back of her simple cotton t-shirt, knuckles repeatedly brushing up and down her spine. Not even attempting to hold his own tears back; feeling the moisture from hers settling on the side of his throat and his shoulder.

“I can’t think about it,” she whimpers. “I can’t. I can’t think about what they would have done to you.”

“It’s okay, baby. It doesn’t matter now. I’m here. It didn’t work. Whatever they had planned, I fucked it up. And I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“They’re sick and twisted fucks!” she cries. “And they would have made sure I knew what they were doing to do you and I wouldn’t have been able to do a goddamn thing about it. I wouldn’t have been to help or get you out of there. I wouldn’t have been able to do a fucking thing for you.”

“It’s alright, Esme. You don’t have to worry about it. It didn’t work. I fucked up everything for them  and now I’m here with you and the kids. Where I should have been all along.”

“I don’t understand,” she raises her head to look at him. “How did they know where you were?”

Tyler shrugs.

“How did they get that close to you? Close enough to do all of this? How…?”

“I must have slipped up somehow. Maybe my brain is worse than we thought. Maybe I’m slowing down. Making mistakes Maybe…”

“You don’t make mistakes,” she argues. “I know you. I know how you work. I’ve SEEN you work, You don’t slip. You don’t fuck up. And you are as hell aren’t slowing down. You’re even better now than you were back in Dhaka. And that’s saying a lot because you were pretty fucking amazing even then.”

“Something happened. I made a mistake somewhere.”

“YOU didn’t do shit. This isn’t on you, Tyler. This is not your fault. Someone fucked up, but it wasn’t you. Who was watching you? Where were they?”

“Across the street. Keeping an eye on shit.”

“Across the street?! How the hell were they keeping an eye on you from across the goddamn street?! Whose idea was that? Yours?”

“I didn’t want anyone breathing down my neck. I can’t work like that. I’ve NEVER been able to work like that. And it’s not like I knew was going to happen. I didn’t want in there expecting some fuck not come in and choke me out and stab me with a fucking needle.”

“Okay...okay...calm down…” Her tone is gentle, his face in her hands. “...it’s alright. I’m not attacking you. Just take a break; everything’s fine. Addie’s asleep. And so she’s tiny and she’s so warm and I know you don’t want to scare her. Calm down, okay?”  She presses a kiss to his lips. “Just stay calm.”

“I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

“Who was supposed to be watching you?”

“Nathan. He had to take the four guys out when that fucking asshole came after me,”

“Calm…” she encourages, thumbs brushing over his lips. “...just stay calm. It’s okay. It's just you and me talking. No one else. No one’s judging you, Tyler.”

His eyes close, and he inhales deeply and exhales slowly. “Nathan,” he says, eyes opening and focusing on her. “Nathan was there; across the street. He took care of things. I don’t know what happened after that. Cops showed up, he took off. No one has seen or heard from him since.”

She frowns. “Nathan’s missing?”

“Missing. AWOL. I don’t fucking know. He’s gone. Cell and his SAT just go right to voicemail.”

“Could someone have gotten a hold of him? Could there have been someone else?”

“Why would they want him? What does holding him do? He’s a nobody to them. He means nothing to Mahajan. It’s me he wants. Taking Nathan does shit.”

“Well where could he be? Why would he just take off? That makes no sense.”

“Who the fuck knows. Maybe he’s dead. I have no idea. I just know he’s gone and no one knows where he is.”

“This is fucked up. Way more than we thought it was. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy. That Mahajan plays dirty and that he’d  just step it up as time went on. Now people are going missing? YOU almost went missing. What the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know, babe. I really don’t know.”

“You need to walk away. This ends here. Your part is this. It ends right here, right now. Walk away, Tyler.”

“I can’t. The job isn’t even close to being finished.”

“Fuck the job. It’s finished for you. Look at you! Look what they did to you! They knew where you were, they knew what spots to target. They fucking drugged you!  That alone could have killed you. Do you even know what he gave you?”

“Ketamine. I guess it’s a sedative of some kind.”

“Yeah, for horses! What the fuck? What’s next? If they get that close again, what happens?”

“They won’t get another chance.”

“You don’t know that. They’re not going to stop, Tyler. Do you really think they’re just going to walk away? They’re not going to give up. Not until they get you. He knows you’re here. Mahajan. He knows you’re in Mumbai. And soon your name and your picture are going to be everywhere and every goddamn gun in this city is going to be pointed at you. Is that what you want? You WANT there to be?”

“No,” he scowls. “That’s NOT what I want.”

“Then why are you doing this? Why won’t you just walk away? Why can’t you just let Anil and his people and Nik and hers handle this? Why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s MY family. Not theirs. Mine.”

“And your family wants you alive!” Esme retorts. “We don’t want you out there dying for us. We need you here. With us. So just tell Anil you’re walking away . That you HAVE to walk away. That you need to be with your family. Tell him.”

Tyler shakes his head. “I can’t, baby. I can’t do that.”

“You don’t need to do this. There’s other people who are more than capable of handling things. Walk away, Tyler. Before you can’t. Before it’s too late. Because if they go that close to you once, they’ll do it again. And this time it won’t be just one guy. It’ll be two. Or three. Or four. Or half a fucking dozen. Why aren’t you listening to me?”

“I am listening. You’re not listening to me.”

“This is a suicide mission. This is the kind shit you used to pull before we met. Don’t go back to that. Don’t go back to being him. He died a long time ago. You said it yourself; that he was long gone. You’re not the same person you were back then.  You have me and you have five little beings you helped make. That love you and need you in their lives.”

“I’m doing this for them. For he,” he nods down at Addie as she sleeps peacefully. “So she can grow up. So she can have a life.”

“A life without you. That’s what you’re saying, right? That you’re going to sacrifice yourself for her. For us.”

“We knew that going into this. That it would happen.”

“No. We thought it MIGHT happen. There’s a difference. And I’m asking you...NO...I’m telling you...walk away so you don’t have to make that choice. So it doesn’t come to that.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I am so sorry.”

“So what’s it? You’ve just decided that this is what’s going to happen? You just decided for yourself that you’re going to give up. You’re telling me that you’re okay with that. Dying for us.”

“I’ve already taken bullets for you. Trying to get you the fuck out of Dhaka. And I would take all of those bullets again. And then some. I would die for you in a heartbeat. For you, for my kids. No hesitation.”

“But you shouldn’t have to!” Esme argues. “And you don’t have to. Just walk away. Let other people handle this. Please. You have two choices and you’re making the wrong one. Why can’t you see that?”

“If I give myself up, he’ll leave you alone.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you? That that’s going to solve everything? Because it won’t. You offering yourself up like some kid of sacrificial fucking lamb is not the answer.”

“Hey...calm…” He reaches up and pushes a hand through her hair, tightly gripping the back of her head. “...you told me to stay calm for Addie. Now I need you to stay calm for her. She doesn’t need this. She's a baby. Just a baby.”

“Yeah, she is. She’s OUR baby. As in me and you. And she needs you. She needs her dad. They all do. And you’re sitting here telling me that you’re willing to offer yourself up. It’s bullshit and it’s insane and I want you to knock it the fuck off.”

“I said calm down!” He orders, then aggressively pulls her into him. Pressing a kiss to her forehead. “...just calm down. Please. Take it easy.”

“You are NOT doing this. I won’t let you. This is not what we talked about, This is not what we agreed on.”

“There’s no other choice.”

She shoves him away. “There’s always another choice! It doesn’t have to come down to this. You for us. It doesn’t need to be this way and you know it.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do. I can’t just walk away. I can’t.”

“Promise me when you walk out that door two days from now that won’t just go and offer yourself up. You don’t need to do that. There’s other ways. There’s still fight left in you. I know right now you feel like there isn’t. I know you're doubting yourself. But I have faith in you and I know you can handle this. WITHOUT giving yourself up. Promise me you’ll fight back. That you’re not just quitting. That THAT will be the last resort.”

“If I have no other choice, I’ll do it.”

“But right now you HAVE other choices. You know that, right? You see that?”

Tyler nods.

“Because you don’t give up. You NEVER give up. You’re alive today because you didn’t. So don’t fucking start now. I mean we’re supposed to be having another baby. And I don’t know if you realize how these things work, but I kind of need you for that.”

“I could always just jerk off into a cup and you save it.”

“Okay, you know what? No. I’d rather the old fashion way, thank you. I kind of like having sex with you. It’s kinda fun.”

He smirks. “Kinda?”

“Okay, it’s a lot of fun, actually. I didn’t think  I had to say that. I thought the results spoke for themselves. We don’t have kids for nothing. And I’d say go for the sixth one right now, but you jumped the gun and you decided we were done and go the old…” she holds her hand up, mimicking a pair of scissors with her index and middle finger.

“Not my best decision, I admit.”

“You have this uncanny ability of changing your mind about this whole having another baby thing. How many times have we decided that we’re stopping only for you to turn around and want another one the second the baby came home?”

“It’s never been THAT soon.”

“Excuse me? How old were the twins when you decided that three wasn’t enough after all?”

“Yeah…” he gives  a small, almost sad smile. “...but that one didn’t work out, did it.”

“No.” She presses a kiss to his temple. “It didn’t. And I know it was hard on you. That you didn’t really get to grieve like I did. I’m sorry for that. That I wasn’t there for you in the way you were for me. I’m pretty fucking selfish, aren’t I.”

“No, you’re not. You needed me a lot more than I needed you. Just hard sometimes still. Thinking about it. It was a shitty fucking time. I didn’t think anything could hurt THAT bad.”

“Do you ever wonder? What it would have been?”

“Sometimes,” he admits, running a palm over Addie’s hair and then laying it gently on the top of her head; thumb repeatedly brushing against her ear. “Sometimes I’ll think about it; if it would have been a boy or a girl and what they would have looked like. Then I think maybe things really do happen to reason, no matter how bad they are. If we had had that baby. Declan wouldn’t be here. And maybe we would have stopped after and Addie wouldn’t be here. And I wouldn’t trade either of them for anything.”

“You’re beautiful,” she says, feeling him grin when she kisses the corner of his mouth. “You have the most beautiful mind and this most beautiful heart. And I know you hate me using that word when it comes to describing you. But it’s true; I can’t help it.”

“I’ll let it slide. I’ll let you have it.”

“I have to say, despite my initial reservations about having another one, you do do the whole ‘big, strong man with a tiny baby’ thing very well.”

“You find it sexy don’t you.”

“Very. I find you very sexy. But this…” she trails her fingertips over the myriad of bruises that take up nearly every inch of his neck. “...this is scary. I’ve seen you with a lot of injuries. I’ve even seen you in the worst possible shape. But this? This bothers me the most for some reason. And what’s going on here…” she turns his face away from her and tender fingers investigate the scar left behind from Farhad. “...what were they trying to do? That’s the worst spot. I don’t think it would take much to fuck things up in there.”

“They knew exactly what to target.”

“Any idea who it was?”

“One of the guys off the list. Number 18. Weird part about it? He worked for Asif during the whole Dhaka thing. Guess he was his  right hand man. Moved on to Mahajan when Nik put a couple bullets into Asif.”

“Now that’s fucked, Go from drug lord to the other? So much for loyalty. How’d you kill him?”

“Shot him. Under the chin. I don’t know how I managed. Last thing I remember was that fucking needle. That’s it. Everything else is a blur. Came to and there was a dead body on top of me. I don’t even know how long I was out for.”

“You called me. Some time before you passed you. You don’t remember that, either?”

Tyler shakes his head.

“It freaked me out. I could hear you breathing and it sounded like you were trying to say something. That wasn't a random pocket dial, was it.”

“No. It wasn’t. I don’t even know why I called. I don’t know if I was calling you for help or if I thought I was dying and I wanted to tell you that I loved you…” his voice wavers once again and tears return to his eyes. “...if I wanted your voice to be the last thing I heard. And I wish I did remember it. That I called.”

“It’s okay.” She places a series of kisses across his forehead, then down the bridge of his nose. “...it’s okay now. You’re here and that’s what matters. You made it out of there. You found a way.  You always do.”

“What if I don’t next time? What if it is two guys? Or three or four? Half a dozen? A dozen?”

“I shouldn’t have put that in your head. I’m sorry.” She brushes the tip of her nose against his temple. “That is the last thing you needed to hear. I should have kept my mouth shut.”

“I was thinking it long before you said it.”

“I know you want to stay on this. And I get it. I do…”  she runs her knuckles along his jaw, beard scraping her skin. “...I know you want to protect us. And I love you so much for that and I love that part of you so fiercely. You ALWAYS protect us. Everything you do, every decision you make, it’s always for us. But you can protect us without being out there. You know you can. I know you can.”

“How? If I don’t stop them, they’ll get to you. And the kids.”

“But if you’re here, you can stop them. And look at all the people that are here to help. Nik, all of Anil’s people. That’s a lot of fire power. And before you hand me that bullshit about how it’s up to you and only you to protect us, don’t even go there. Because you’re good, but not even you can stop them by yourself. You need help. So swallow your fucking pride and admit that. That you can’t do it alone.”

“I’m not alone. I’be some my guys and Nik’s people and…”

“You were alone the other night,” Esme points out. “What was Nathan going to do from across the street? That is not helping. That’s YOUR version of helping. If you’re here, under the same room as all these people, Mahajan and his cronies won’t stand a chance. We’re safer if you’re here. And I think you realize that.”

“It’s putting a bigger target on you and the kids,” he argues. “If they figure out I’m here, they’ll show up.”

“Isn’t that what we want? Them out in the open? Let them come here. With all these people? With you? They won’t get very far, will they At least tell me you’re listening and not blocking me out. Usually I can read your face, but right now I’m not so sure.”

“I’m not blocking you, babe. I’m listening.”

“It makes more sense for you to be here than it does for you to be out on the street where every goddamn gun will be pointed at you. If you’re here, there’s more control over the situation, right? You’d have the upper hand because you’d be familiar with the place and they wouldn’t. And you can’t tell me you wouldn’t feel better being with us. That you don’t WANT to be here.”

“I do,” Tyler assures her. “It’s the only place I do want to be.”

“Then just do it. Just tell Anil that’s how it’s going to be. Explain to him why it makes the most sense. Deep down, you know this is the right thing to do. You know it’s better for us...especially the kids...if you’re here.  And I know you can’ deny that it would be better for you, too. Mentally speaking.”

“Yeah,” he admits with a nod. “You’re right.”

“Stop being so stubborn,” Esme implores. “This is not the time for that. You know this is the best way to handle things. I know you do. But I also know you hate taking advice from other people and that everything you do has to be your idea.”

He smirks. “You really DO know me well.”

“I so do. I also know I’m the only one who can talk like this to you and not have you get defensive. It’s too dangerous, Tyler. Especially now that Mahajan knows you’re in Mumbai and he’s stepping things up. You can’t be out on the street and you know it. I know that makes you feel useless. And weak. That you’re second guessing and doubting yourself. And you need to knock that shit off. Because you are the stronger, bravest person I know. And you’re the only one I trust with my life. With our kids’ lives. And I need you here. And you need to be here.”

He sighs, then pushes her fingers through her hair, moving it away from her face and off her shoulder. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what? Insanely beautiful and phenomenally intelligent?”

“I was going to say a huge pain in my ass, but okay, I’ll give you those.”

“What are you so worried about? Mahajan’s people showing up?”

“I don’t exactly what them on the doorstep. I don’t want them where you are. Where the kids are.”

“How far could they get with all these people here? I practically can’t take a pee without someone with an AK following me to the bathroom. What do you think can happen when there’s that much firepower here?”

“That’s exactly it. Firepower. With my kids here.”

“I’m not worried about that. Half of Anil’s basement is a panic room. The kids and I will be fine.”

Tyler frowns.

“What?”

“Why the hell didn’t you mention that right off the hop? Why didn’t you tell me that an hour ago when we started talking about this?”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

He stares at her pointedly.

“I forgot,” Esme admits. “I’m sorry. I should have told  you about the panic basement.”

“I swear to God, for the last seven years, this is how our conversations have gone. We talk about something for an hour when it could have been solved in five minutes. You always leave out that one piece of information that could have saved us a lot fucking time.”

“I’m sorry…” she pouts dramatically, then places a line of kisses along his jaw, over his ear, and up onto his head. “...I know that annoys you. Do you still love me?”

“I do. But fuck, you’re a pain in my ass. No wonder I have gray hair and an ulcer.”

“You don’t have an ulcer.”

“Not yet. But when I get one, it’ll have your name on it.”

“I have a confession.”

He sighs. “Of course you do. What is it?”

“I annoy you on purpose. Because you’re so cute when you’re annoyed. You get the cutest look on your face. It’s adorable. I can’t help myself. I’m sorry. I like your face and all your expressions. You have a really nice face.”

He grins. “I’m starting to really question your taste in men.”

“Please! You know you’re ridiculously good looking. It’s okay to be a bit conceited. I can forgive you for that if you can forgive me for being annoying.”

“I don’t know. You’re pretty fucking annoying.”

She scowls, then bites down on his earlobe.

“Ow! Fuck sakes! What is wrong with you? I’m not hurt enough for you? Why you do me like that?”

“Because I know you like it. MY particular brand of pain. What are you going to do? Spank me?”

“You’d like that too much.”

“I would actually,” she says, and then shivers against him when his fingertips graze down her spine. Giggling and squirming against him when he grabs her ass and roughly squeezes  “That hurts!  What’s your issue?”

“You really want to know?”

Esme nods.

He removes his hand from her ass, then takes one of hers and places it on his crotch.

“Oh…” her eyes widen. “...that’s the only part of you that’s not hurt and IS working properly.”

“You sound disappointed.”

“I am definitely not. Because I missed you. And I’m not talking the sappy and corny shit about missing you and your quirks and all the stupid shit you do.  Right now, I really miss having sex with you.”

“If you had just admitted that an hour ago, we could have skipped over a whole lot of drama.”

“We said things that needed to be said   and talked about things we needed to talk about. And now, I think you need to use your mouth for something else. IF you’re up to it.”

“Oh, I’m up to it. THAT anyways. Anything else, you might have to do the work. Or the majority of it anyway.”

“You mean I get to be in charge?”

He frowns. “I never said that.”

“You’re such a control freak,” she says, then pecks his lips before sling off the lounge chair and carefully removing a sleeping Addie from his chest. “I’m going to go and put her in her bed. And when I get back, you better be in mind. Naked. Ready to go. I’m not fucking around. Well, I AM. Fucking that is, You know what I mean.”

He’s grinning as he watches her ass move as she walks away. “How much DID you miss me?”

“Not THAT much, Tyler. Forget about it. It’s not our anniversary yet.”

“Early anniversary present?” He suggests hopefully.

“You wish!” She scoffs, then disappears into the house.

[ben-hardy-jones]

Missing you

Author: @ben-hardy-jones​

Pairing: Billy x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, character death, fluff

Song: You Are The Reason by Calum Scott  

Word count: 2.800ish

Summary: Billy and you grew up together, spent every day together and loved each other to death until the day he never came back. 

♡ Feedback is always appreciated! ♡

→ Back to my masterlist ←

They say your first love will always be live and will live forever in your heart. Growing up with Billy, you would never imagine that to be so true.

Since the moment you were born, you two were destined to be by each other's side. You had only your dad, who took advantage of every moment to remind you how your mother's death was all your fault since you shared your date of birth with her death date.

The only positive thing in your life at that time was Billy and his mom. You two shared a lot in common. Both with a single parent who happened to be close friends, making you and Billy inseparable. Every day was spent at his house, fooling around.

Not even the fact that he was three years older than you stopped you two from becoming impossible to separate so much that people started assuming you were siblings.

 As the years moved, you slowly but surely drifted away from your father as his interests shifted to hazard and alcohol more than his own daughter. You were taken care of by Billy's mom after all, why would he care, right?

Growing up independently, having to take care of yourself a lot made you grow up sooner. Even sooner than Billy, which caused some tension between you two as he was often scolded for being way too childish while you, the younger one, was praised.

Things changed between you and Billy when you hit the age of thirteen and started to look at him in a different light. He was no longer the hyperactive blonde kid with bright green eyes and a cheeky smile in your eyes.

However, while you were busy daydreaming about your slowly raising love for a person you spent every day of your life with, he was occupied with his new friends. You'd never met them and didn't know who they were. Yet, you didn't like the idea of Billy being away from you for so long.

He would leave for school in the morning, shortly after you two texted, and come home late at night. Countless calls with his mom and she still wasn't able to tell you where he was hanging out. It made you anxious. She would always say that he's sixteen, he's a young teenage boy who likes to be free and she will not restrict him from that.

Eventually, you managed to find out what he was doing one day while watching the news. Police were looking for a group of three masked thieves who broke into few houses and stole expensive jewellery and tech gadgets. On the video playing on the TV, it was hard to tell who these people were. They moved like ghosts, jumping from one roof onto another like it was nothing. The newsperson even called them 'skywalkers', making you laugh lightly. But no matter how far from you he was, Billy was always recognizable for you.

You called him to your house that night. Unexpectedly, he came. Dressed in full black, he looked so different from the soccer-loving teenage boy you were used to. Even when you saw him every day, it felt like you hadn't talked in years. As he took off his black pullover hoodie, your eyes drifted to the exposed skin of his ripped tummy with prominent v-line before he fixed his shirt and covered himself. Turning around, you tried calming your hormones down by taking a deep breath, hoping he wouldn't notice the blush creeping on your cheeks. With a black backpack on his shoulder, he sat down on your unmade bed.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked, a small flirtatious smile on his face.

"What is wrong?" you cursed, staring deadly into his wide eyes as you stood in front of him with arms folded across your chest, "What are you doing, Billy?"

His brows furrowed as he leaned closer to you. His elbows were supported by his athletic thighs.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I know you. I know the real you but this," you pointed at his outfit, "this is wrong. I'm not stupid, I saw you on TV-"

"Y/N-" he tried to interrupt you but unsuccessfully.

"Don't Y/N me. You're a thief. You steal expensive things from people and why? To go to prison for the rest of your life. Why?"

"I'm helping mom and you, okay? Where do you think all the money, she gives you comes from? She's a hairdresser, barely getting by," he grabbed your hand, pulling you to him, "we have nothing left after she pays the mortgage, buys groceries and pays all the bills and she has to take care of not just her own child but you as well."

"I never asked for any of that," you mumbled, sitting on the bed next to Billy.

"I'm a good thief, alright?" he joked, a chuckle leaving your lips, "They won't catch us. We're fast and we're quick. Police can't keep up with us. That's why they asked the public for help."

You laid your head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his skin against your cheek.

"I will take care of both the woman I care about, alright? I'm not leaving you behind and I'm not going anywhere either."

Looking up, his eyes were already on you as his nose brushed yours slightly. A cold chill ran down your spine as his hand cupped your face so gently like he thought you were made of porcelain.

"What if you get caught?"

His laugh was quiet and subtle, but it still made your heart jump.

"I won't, don't worry about that."

Time seemed to stop as you stared into each other's eyes. There was no need to do anything. You laid your chin comfortably on his shoulder as his hand snuck around your waist, his hand gently squeezing your hip.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

You nodded with a sheepish smile, not able to say a word. Billy's lips felt soft and moved against yours almost naturally. There were a few moments when your teeth clashed and your noses bumped into each other but no first kiss was ever perfect. With Billy, however, it didn't matter what people imagined when someone said the word 'perfect'. For you, anything related to Billy was perfect no matter what.

 Months went by and you found yourself in a bathtub with your naked back against Billy's chest. His hands caressing your flesh anywhere he could reach, the warmth of the hot water relaxing your sore muscles.

"Do you work for someone or is it just you and the others stealing random stuff?" you mused, head resting on his shoulder. Billy kept drawing circles on your upper thighs.

"Why would you ask that?"

His lips gently touched your naked skin, planting wet kisses everywhere, sometimes biting subtly to create a red mark that would disappear in a few seconds.

"Just wondering," you shrugged in an attempt to appear uninterested.

"I've never met him but there is a guy who always tells us what to steal and then pays us."

"Isn't it better to just do it all yourself so you get more money instead of risking your life for someone you've never met before?"

You could feel Billy smiling against the flesh of where your neck meets your shoulder.  

"Didn't you lecture me a few months ago about how bad stealing is, love?"

"Like I said, I'm just wondering," you turned your head to the side, facing your lover as his arms moved around your waist, pressing you into him.

"How about I'll answer all your questions after our bath, alright" he whispered, lips brushing yours teasingly as his hand slid down your tummy. Goosebumps appeared on your skin. Pushing forward, you closed the gap between your lips and surrendered to Billy's idea.

 Time flew by. Billy stood by your side during the hard times as well as during the sweet ones. He was one of only a very small number of people who attended your father's funeral, his hand never leaving yours as you cried silently by his side.

Life became harder out of nowhere. Billy's skills grew more and more professional and he became an excellent and untouchable thief. You thought he would stop stealing when he earned enough money but trying to persuade him into getting a normal, legal job was pointless.

He started going abroad. It made you scared for his life even more. Billy was out there, in the unknown, getting tangled up in illegal life and you felt like you were losing him.

Lying on your side, you were trying to close your eyes when you heard movement from the kitchen. Slowly getting up, you tiptoed to see if there was an intruder. Billy wasn't supposed to come home until next week.

But there he was, standing by the sink, drinking a glass of water as his favourite blue jacket with white stripes laid on the kitchen counter.

"Billy," you exhaled, running into his arms, throwing yours around his neck to bring him close. The faint smell of his cologne mixed with a hint of sweat hit your nostrils and you relaxed, even more, when you realized your Billy was finally back.

He hissed the moment you buried your head into his neck.

"What's wrong?"

Pulling away, you cupped his face gently, running your thumbs across the dry skin of his face, subtly cursing him for not taking care of his own body.

"I'm alright, love," he tried assuring you, but your eyes already landed on two bloody gushes on his right eyebrow, only protected by already dirty butterfly stitches.

"Are you joking right now?" you scolded him. Grabbing his hand tightly, you led him to sit on one of the bar stools as you swiftly ran to the bathroom to grab your first aid kit.

Billy was patiently waiting for you with the knowledge of not fighting you. Didn't matter that he was around 16 centimetres taller with mountains of muscle. You were the one in charge in your relationship.

He watched with an adoring smile on his beaten face as you walked towards him while rummaging through the kit, cursing under your breath about how stupid his job is.  

"Aren't I lucky to have a nurse by my side?" he enthused while you prepared everything that was needed.

"I'm not a nurse yet," you replied, emphasizing the word 'yet', "I'm graduating next year so you better be in the country."

"I'll make sure of that."

Raising your eyebrow, you stopped wiping the blood off his skin.

"I promise," he chuckled, squeezing your wrist reassuringly.  

"This would heal better with proper stitches and not butterfly stitches," you mumbled underneath your breath as Billy watched you work with adoration in his eyes, "but of course you're too tough to go to the hospital, big guy."

He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have a woman like you by his side and every time he left, he counted the hours 'til he would be back and be able to hold you in his arms.

 Almost a year later, you turned around in the doorway, Billy's old shirt loosely hanging on your naked body as you watched the man you loved with your whole heart lying on his back, the blanket barely covering his lower area as he stretched in the bed, his prominent muscles bulging.

"Come here," he mumbled sleepily with a raspy morning voice as he motioned for you to come back to bed.

Without a second thought, you obeyed and tiptoed towards him. Stopping at his side, he extended his arm towards you. Your hand fit perfectly into his as you interlocked your fingers.

"I need to shower, Billy," you smiled. However, it was useless. His cheeky smile appeared on his handsome face as he tucked forward, making you fall on top of him.

"Billy, seriously, I have to be in uni in an hour."

His lips went straight to your neck, sloppy kisses covering a few faint bruises he left on you a few days ago. Pride surged through him. He felt you shiver as his hand slid underneath your shirt, laying on your lower back and slowly moving downwards, making you moan.

Within seconds, you were underneath him as he kissed your lips passionately while you wrapped your legs around his naked hips.

"I only need five," he mumbled between the kisses as you surrendered to him completely, letting him do whatever he desired with your body.

 Making coffee, Billy's hands snuck around you from behind as he pressed a quick kiss on your temple.

"How was uni?"

"Exhausting as always," you replied, filling both your cups with brown liquid before putting the kettle down, "aren't you supposed to be 'working'?"

"There's no need for the air quotes, love."

"Well, I've never heard about stealing being a job."

Billy smiled and helped you with breakfast. Quickly finishing the scrambled eggs before putting them on plates.

"I'm leaving for Kiev tomorrow," he announced while eating his breakfast as you were just sitting down.

You looked at the calendar on your fridge, frowning.

"But I have my graduation ceremony on Friday, Billy?" you pouted, putting your fork down.

"That's far enough."

"It's Sunday. Can you fly to Kiev and make it back within five days?"

"Of course. It's a simple job-"

"Don't lie to me," you interrupted him as you looked him in the eyes. Billy and you spent so much time together that it was impossible for either of you to lie to each other.

"Look," he put down the fork and came to you, kneeling next to your chair, "we'll arrive on Monday noon. Preparation will take a day or two before the mission and I will be back by Thursday evening tops. Don't worry about me, love, I'll be alright."

"Why Kiev?" you couldn't help but ask as he held your hands tenderly.

"There's this necklace called Kalahari. We're supposed to get it for someone. It's big money, love. We'll be rich."

"I don't wanna be rich. I want you to be here with me," you whispered, looking at your fingers.

"I have to take care of you and mom. Plus, I'm good at what I do, alright? Stop worrying and let's enjoy today before my flight," he kissed your forehead and sat down again, finishing breakfast in silence.  

 It's been three months now and you don't think you'll ever recover. The cold autumn breeze messes up your hair swiftly put into a bun as you stand in the empty cemetery in front of his grave, remembering how it all went down.

You remember waiting for him. Waking up on that Friday morning, getting ready for your ceremony while looking at your front door to see Billy walking in any second. That never happened.

Feeling worried and heartbroken as your eyes searched the crowd of proud parents, siblings and friends for his heartwarming green eyes and that blonde mess on top of his head he called hair. You expected to see him standing next to his mom who was recording you as your name was said, a huge smile on her face.

Deep inside, you were hoping he was just late. Maybe the mission got delayed and he'd be back that night. But he wasn't. He didn't come back next week either.

And then you got the news. His mom called you one early morning. Her cries were loud, she was hyperventilating as she told you. Billy was gone and he wasn't coming back.

The funeral was pitiful. You recognized two people who turned up as those who worked with him. They didn't stay until the end. Probably just making sure he was truly dead. It was just you, his mom and a boy who told you he was his friend, but you never met him.

Holding a tissue in front of your face, you tried to hide the running mascara as you stood by Billy's mom's side, holding her hand tightly. Two hours after the empty coffin was lowered into the grave, you were the only one left.

 A chill runs down your spine as you start to feel the cold air around you.

"Remember when you said you'd grow old with me?" you choke out. Your heart feels empty as you look at Billy's name written across the grave, "You're a bastard for leaving me here alone, Billy, but I'll never stop loving you."

One last time, you read the engravings you chose: "I lived a good life. Now I'll have a good rest."

"Happy anniversary, baby."

Lying the blue rose in front of his grave, you turn around to walk away. Your car, brought by Billy for your twentieth birthday, is the only one at the cemetery. Sitting at the driver's seat, you finally let the tears go, wetting your cheeks as you cry your heart out while tightly holding the heart necklace with a photo of Billy and you together, the last remaining piece of him you'll hold tightly for the rest of your life.

[svudrabbles]

Imagine Alex showing that you’re hers

Request:

Alex being jelly when the defense attorney flirts with her girlfriend to get a rise out of her. So, when they go back into Alex’s, Alex completely rails her and marking her so the da can see it the next time they meet.

You’d only stopped by the courthouse to support Alex on the case. Unfortunately it became a bit more than that. When court was adjourned, you walked up toward Alex, resting a hand on her elbow.

She looked up, smiling at you. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to watch you in action.” You smiled back.

She kissed your cheek gently before pulling away due to the voice of the defense attorney, saying, “Well, who’s this?”

You looked toward him, your eyes glancing from his toes to his head. He was rather handsome in a rugged way. His brown hair was a bit messy, but he was dressed to impress in a three piece black suit. His shoes were pure leather, his briefcase new and shining. “Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

He held out his hand for you to shake, and you did. He kept your palm in his just a moment too long. “Who knew Alex Cabot could have such beautiful friends.”

You raised your eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

He winked. “I should get going...” He pulled out a card from his back pocket, and handed it toward you. “If you want to get a drink...let me know.” Then he walked out.

You looked toward Alex who appeared to be quite upset.

“Are you okay?” You spoke softly.

She wrapped your hand in hers. “Let’s get home.”

***

That’s exactly where you went, although it wasn’t just to relax with some dinner. The moment you stepped inside, Alex was undressing. Your eyes bulged at the gesture, “Al?”

“Well come on, I don’t want to be the naked fool.” She raised her eyebrows, now only in a bra and panties.

You found yourself smiling, and obliging. Your hands moved quickly to remove your coat, your shirt, your jeans, your socks, and shoes. When you were both left in undergarments, Alex practically threw herself at you, hands on your hips, pulling you flush against her. Your lips found their way on hers. She was simply ravenous as she sucked and bit on your lips,  squeezing your waist. 

You moaned against her mouth and she found this incredibly pleasing. “Bedroom.” You sputtered.

The two of you clumsily found your way there, where you slid onto the bed, and she crawled on top of you. She stared at your form for a moment, taking in your beauty. “You’re mine.” She stated seriously, her eyes meeting your own. “All mine. You know that?”

“Y-Yes.” You mumbled, biting on your lower lip. “A-Alex...Please...”

She lifted your back so she could get her hands beneath you to unclasp your bra, which she did with success. She slowly lowered the straps down your arms, allowing the garment to slide off of your chest. She spent little time admiring, and immediately her mouth found its way to your breast. Her lips circled around your nipple, she flicked it gently with her tongue.

You groaned, running a hand through her blond hair. 

Unexpectedly, her hands moved to your waistband, and she tugged down your panties. You used a foot to take them off completely, and her hand made it’s way to your sopping center. You gasped at the sensation of her cold slender fingers going deep inside of you. Her lips attached to your neck, and you knew by the next day you’d have massive hickeys. 

“Trying to make a point?” You breathed out.

She smirked against your collarbone, entering another finger inside of you which made you buck your hips upward, gasping in surprise.

“Why yes.” She whispered, now nipping at your earlobe. “Does that bother you, my dear?”

You shook your head, your hands on your girlfriends waist. “Please, make every point you want.”

***

The very next day, you wore a sweater with a V-neck. Those marks were proudly resting on your skin, as you knew they would. When you went up to Alex, she first smiled at you, then at the marks on your neck. 

The defense lawyer again came to your side. “Well he-” His eyes found the hickeys, and his eyebrows raised.

Alex slid her arm around your waist. “Hello, Mr. Crow. What can we do for you?”

“Are you...?”

“Lesbians?” You smirked. “Yes, sir.” Then, out of nowhere, you kissed Alex firmly on the lips.

“Oh dear.” He muttered, before walking off.

Alex giggled into your mouth. “God, I love you, woman.”

[freddiesaysalright]

Catching Up Part XIII

A Joe Mazzello x Reader Fic

Summary: Reader is a writer for an entertainment news network and after Joe comes in to do an interview, they reconnect. Unexpectedly, they’re having a child together.  

Word Count: 3K

Tag List: @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @jennyggggrrr, @somethinginthewayiam, @grandaddy-roger-trash, @rogerloveshiscar @danamaleksworld, @mrsmazzello, @reedusteinrambles, @rexorangecouny, @caborhapch, @kurt-nightcrawler, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls, @queendeakyy, @hotttspace, @anxious-diabetic, @someone-get-a-medic, @psychosupernatural, @lizvxx, @cobra-anon, @anotherhystericalqueen @briarrose26, @ziggymay @hopefully-aesthetically-pleasing, @mazzello-lee-jones-malek This story is almost over, but it’s not too late to be tagged for the epilogue! Coming soon!

A/N: Okay, I thought this was gonna be the last bit, but nah, I want more. There will be a short epilogue to wrap it up :)

Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV  Part V  Part VI Part VII  Part VIII  Part IX  Part X  Part XI  Part XII

Part XIII here we go!!!

“Joey!” Joe blubbered at his son. “Do you know that it’s your birthday? That you’re a year old today?”

They were sprawled out on the floor, on Joey’s favorite blanket as he played with a few gifts Joe had already given him first thing in the morning. He wanted today to be happy. A real celebration.

Joey said a soft “Da-da” back and Joe’s heart swelled.

“Of course you know, you brilliant boy!” He kissed him on the nose.

There was a soft knock on the door, so Joe stood up, bending over to pick up Joey, and he padded down the little hallway to answer. He opened it to reveal Ben. He carried a few gifts and a bottle of wine.

“Hey, mate,” he said to Joe and then beamed at Joey. “Happy birthday, darling boy!”

Joe smiled. “Can you say thank you to Uncle Ben, buddy?”

Joey just grinned and grasped for Ben. Joe stepped aside to allow Ben through the door. They made their way to the kitchen to Ben could set his things down. Then he took Joey in his arms and kissed his face until the boy was shrieking and giggling.

“I finally had to hide cardboard Ben,” Joe said as he watched. “Joey kept wanting him to hold him and then he’d cry when he couldn’t.”

“Oh, no!” Ben laughed. “Well, I’ll try to stop by more often so he can have the real thing.”

Gwilym arrived next. He also had too many gifts. Rami and Lucy followed, newlywed and looking thrilled. They all wished Joey a very happy birthday and he beamed at their affection.

“He looks more like you every day, Joe,” Gwilym observed, caressing Joey’s little head.

Joe shrugged. “Well, he’s got Y/N’s smile.”

“Well, she gave him a good one, didn’t she?” Lucy added, pinching Joey’s cheek softly.

“Where is Y/N, by the way?” Rami asked.

“Picking up the cake,” Joe said. “Apparently there was a mishap at the bakery. They thought she said ‘joy’ instead of ‘Joey.’”

Ben snorted. “That’s hilarious. I hope she got a picture.”

“Yeah, wanna see?” Joe offered, picking up his phone.

He opened it to show them a picture Christy took of you holding the cake and pretending to cry. It was followed by one of the baker fixing it while you did a thumbs up and grinned. They all laughed.

“I tried to tell her he wouldn’t care, but she said this was mostly for her anyway,” he said, chuckling.

“God, I love her,” Lucy said.

“She should be home pretty soon,” he replied, glancing out the window. “I’m not sure what’s taking so long.”

Rami put a comforting hand on Joe’s shoulder. “She’s probably just driving, Joe.”

Since the day Joey was born - the day Joe nearly lost you - he was more protective than before. It took Ben, Rami, and Gwilym practically kidnapping him to get him to the Oscars the following week. Christy stayed with you and Joey, since eclampsia could cause postpartum seizures sometimes. Thankfully, you didn’t have another one and Joe had nothing to worry about. He also insisted on getting married as soon as possible. He had told you that when he thought you were gone, his biggest regret was not marrying you. So, on March first, you went to the courthouse and sealed the deal. Christy served as your witness, and she held Joey in her arms.

Since then, he took you and Joey everywhere with him. Wherever he was filming, you guys got to go. It was actually really fun. You had hated being apart from him during your pregnancy, and you liked that Joey got to spend more time with his dad. You quit your job at Everything Entertainment to be a full time mother, so you didn’t mind this new lifestyle.

You did not remember most of the day of Joey’s birth. You remembered childbirth, of course, but the hours before and the seizure after were blank. Joe tried to explain it to you, but he got so emotional that you told him it was probably best you didn’t know. Dr. Jones acted quickly, and they were just barely able to save you. You remembered the way Joe held you when you came back to him. The sound of his sobs as he thanked God you were alive. That was the part you would never forget.

To this day, Joe went to bed when you did. He was sure to tell you he loved you every night before you fell asleep. It was also the first thing he said each morning. He told you he would never again take for granted the fact that you were there to say it back.

When your car pulled into the driveway, he let out a small sigh of relief. He watched you and Christy walk up to the front door, cake in tow, and within seconds you appeared in the kitchen.

“Hi, everybody!” you greeted, as Joe beat them to you and took you in his arms. “Hi, honey!”

He kissed your cheek. “The cake come out okay?”

“It’s perfect,” Christy answered, placing it on the counter where everyone could see.

They “oohed” and “ahhed” over it for a moment and then you freed yourself from Joe to say hello to everyone, including your son, who was currently in Gwilym’s arms. Joey let you kiss him but clung to Gwilym’s sweater, so you let him stay there.

“Oh, Joe, you’ll never guess who I saw at the grocery store!” you said.

“Who was it?” he wondered.

“Nick!” you cried, still in disbelief. “He’s working at the deli there as a butcher basically. But he showed me his one year chip, so he’s doing really well.”

“Good for him!” Joe agreed. “Glad to hear he’s on the right track.”

“Yeah, supposedly he found Jesus or something in prison,” you explained. “Whatever helps, I guess. I told him I was proud of him.”

“You’re so sweet, baby,” he said.

You all chatted for a little while longer, sipping drinks and picking at snacks you had put out before you left to get the cake. Joe was making spaghetti for dinner, but that wouldn’t be until later. You were finally holding Joey again and talking to Lucy when he suddenly squirmed in your arms.

“Bee!” he cried, reaching for Ben and opening and closing his tiny fists.

All eyes turned on him at his little outburst.

“Beeeeeeee!” he said again, struggling harder.

You laughed. “Okay, I get it, you want Ben!”

Ben walked over and relieved you.

“I guess you’re Bee now,” you joked.

“He can call me whatever he wants, really,” Ben returned. “He’s my favorite person in the whole world.”

“I’d say the feeling’s pretty mutual,” you replied.

Joey affectionately grabbed Ben’s nose.

“How’s he doing on the talking?” asked Lucy.

“Pretty good!” you said. “He knows ‘Mama’ and ‘Dada’ and ‘No,’ and a few other simple words. Now apparently he’s got half of Ben’s name.”

“I’m trying to get him to say ‘Christy’ but no luck so far,” said Christy.

“I don’t have a prayer, do I?” Gwilym joked.

You chuckled and shook your head. “Not for a while, anyway.”

You looked on as Ben spun Joey around in circles until the boy was breathless from laughter. When Ben would stop, he would cry, “Bee, go!” and Ben would start again. This went on for several minutes until both Ben and Joey were giggly and dizzy.

“Should we open presents now?” you asked, checking your watch.

Everyone agreed and moved to the living room, taking seats on the sectional. All save Ben, who sat on the floor with Joey. You and Joe gathered up all the presents and set them down around him.

“Are you ready, Joey?” Ben asked. “Bee’s gonna help you, so which d’you wanna open first?”

He reached for a package from Brian and Roger. They were on tour, but had sent the gift and a card with their love. Ben helped him open it and it turned out to be a toy guitar and some Queen jammies. You were writing everything down so you could do thank you cards later.

There were so many gifts that Rami and Gwilym ended up pitching in to help open as well. Lucy and Christy took so many photos you were sure their phones would run out of memory. Joey was blessed with an abundance of love and gifts. The guys helped him sort them out while you went to get candles on the cake. You laughed as you watched them from the kitchen. Rami was passing Joey a ball.

“Ami!” Joey said with delight, bouncing up and down.

“Really close, bud!” Joe praised.

“I’m thrilled he got that much!” Rami returned.

Lucy joined you in the kitchen to offer her help. You assured her it was fine since you only needed one candle.

“You and Joe have made the perfect little boy,” she said.

“Thank you, Luc,” you replied. “Honestly, I want to try for another.”

She cocked her head to the side with a questioning look. You shook your head.

“Nevermind,” you said. “I shouldn’t talk about this now.”

She sighed, then stepped closer so she could speak in a lower voice. “Joe’s hesitant to have another baby?”

“Yeah,” you whispered back. “It’s weird because he was the one who wanted more kids from the start.”

“Okay, I’m gonna tell you something but you didn’t hear it from me,” she said, and you nodded. “Joe really blamed himself for your near death experience. He told Rami he felt terrible because he felt like he could have done more to help with your blood pressure or reached out to Dr. Jones when you said you had the headaches. He even said something like ‘if I hadn’t gotten her pregnant in the first place…’”

“Oh my God,” you breathed. “He really felt that way?”

“Just for a little while,” she told you. “They had that conversation after the Oscars, but it could mean that he doesn’t want to risk losing you again.”

“I can’t believe he never told me he was going through that…” you said.

“He didn’t want you to worry,” she explained. “He was so scared you were gone, Y/N. We all were. But it really just...tore Joe up.”

Tears welled up in your eyes. You blinked them away and refocused on the cake. You quietly thanked Lucy for telling you before calling the boys and Christy over. You lit the candle and Joe carried Joey over and placed him in his high chair.

As you brought the cake over, everyone started to sing the birthday song to Joey. He looked confused, although pleased to have everyone’s attention. After the candle was blown out and your little boy had made a proper mess of himself with the icing, everyone clapped for him. You started to take him upstairs for a quick bath and a change, but your friends insisted on doing it for you, so all of them took Joey upstairs, leaving you and Joe to clean up the kitchen.

Joe started cutting slices of cake for the adults to enjoy while you swept up the crumbs from under Joey’s highchair. Lucy’s words were still fresh in your mind as you went, and you wondered how to bring it up. It just upset you so much that he never confided in you.

“I can’t believe it’s been a year already,” you said casually. “I feel like he was born yesterday.”

“No offense, but I’m pretty glad that day has passed,” he said with a chuckle.

Tears clouded your eyes again.

“I’m sorry, Joe,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “I know that was a difficult day for you.”

“It’s not your fault, baby,” he said sweetly.

“It’s not yours either, you know,” you returned. You turned to face him and saw him stiffen at your words. “Joe, do you...do you regret having Joey?”

“What?! No!” he insisted. “I love our son. I wouldn’t trade him for anything.”

You sniffled. “I’d go through it all again for him,” you choked out. “For him, and any other children we have.”

“What are you trying to say, Y/N?” he asked pointedly.

“I’ve been talking a bit about wanting another baby and you keep blowing me off,” you explained. “I think it’s because you’re afraid of a repeat of Joey’s birth, but that wouldn’t happen. We know what to look for now.”

He averted his eyes. You stepped to him where he leaned against the counter, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your lips to his shoulder.

“I love you, Joe,” you said. “I love you so much. I’ll never leave you again, I promise.”

He turned around in your arms and held you closer. He kissed the top of your head. “I love you too. I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding that conversation. I just...I’m so scared of losing you. Even thinking about it now...God, my heart can’t take it.”

You squeezed him gently. “I’m right here, Joe. In your arms. Forever.”

He rested his cheek on your head. You stood there like that for what felt like hours, just holding each other.

You heard your friends thundering back down the stairs. Rami held Joey, who was in his new Queen pajamas, smiling and laughing. You quickly wiped your eyes and smiled at him.

“Wow, we have the coolest baby in the world!” you said excitedly. “Thanks for cleaning him up, guys.”

“It was fun,” Gwilym assured you.

“Your bathroom might be a mess now, but that’s not important,” Christy said lightly.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, God.”

Joey reached for you, so Rami allowed you to gather the boy in your arms. You felt a little bad that you hadn’t practiced hardly any walking with him the whole day, but you figured on his birthday he could be a little spoiled. You adjusted the little tuft of hair on his head.

“Did you have fun with your aunties and uncles?” you asked. “They love you so much! You are a lucky boy!”

He spent the remainder of the afternoon playing with his new toys. But he probably had the most fun when Ben and Gwilym put him in one of the larger boxes and dragged him around the living room. Again, you rolled your eyes. All the toys he got, and he loved the box. He was also fascinated by the toy guitar, which, when strummed, played famous rock songs. From Queen, it played a portion of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Around seven, it was time for him to go to bed, so you let him choose one of the books Gwilym got him for a bedtime story, and then everyone told him goodnight before you carried him upstairs to put him down for the night. Joe was finishing up dinner.

“Ben can you watch the stove?” he asked. “I’m gonna run up and give Joey one more kiss.”

Ben agreed and Joe followed you upstairs. He watched from the hallway as you read aloud to Joey on your bed. It was a story about a family and Joey was riveted by the pictures and the pages turning.

“Can you find the mommy?” you asked him.

He slapped his hand down on the page and you smiled.

“Very good!” you praised. “Can you find the daddy?”

He did the same on the other side of the page.

“Very good! And can you find the baby?”

Again, he hit the mark.

“Very, very good, Joey! You’re my smart boy!”

You kissed his cheek and he giggled. He pointed to another part of the picture and looked questioningly up at you.

“That’s a doggie,” you said. “We don’t have one of those.”

You continued the story. Joe appeared in the doorframe and you smiled at him. Joey’s sleepy head finally plopped onto your shoulder and you carried him to his crib, Joe close by. When Joey was settled, your husband looked at you, something flickering behind his eyes.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay, what?” you wondered, as you closed the nursery door.

“Let’s have another.”

You gasped. “Joe, really?! You really want to?!”

He nodded and grinned at you. “I really want to, Y/N.”

You threw yourself happily into his arms. He spun you around and kissed you. Then, taking his hand, you followed him back down to the kitchen to have dinner with your friends.

Dinner was fun, and you realized how much you missed everyone when they had to leave. But the evening wound down, and it was time for them to head to their hotel rooms or home. You would see them again in the morning when you were all going to brunch, but pretty soon after that, they’d all go their separate ways, and you were never quite sure when you’d all be together again. It always made you a little sad.

When everyone was gone, you watched Joe lock the door behind them. He slowly walked back over to you and took you in his arms. He kissed you fiercely. You thought you might melt from the heat of it.

“I love you so much,” you whispered breathlessly. “So much, Joe.”

“I love you, Y/N,” he returned, holding you tightly. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

He carried you to your bedroom and made sweet, slow love to you. Throughout, he told you again how much he loved you. He also showed you through the way he touched you and kissed you and thrust into you. You held tight to him, gasping and moaning softly, but taking everything he had to give. All you could say or think was Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.

You fell asleep that night completely engulfed in one another. Taking comfort in each other’s presence. Knowing you’d both be there in the morning and every morning after. Your family would grow, but this tangled heap in the bed was the heart of it. Where love began and never ended.

[janamelie]

LGBT+ Characters

What This Isn’t

A claim of “proof” of the sexuality and / or gender identity of any of these characters.  We don’t need that or anything else to “justify” shipping.

What This Is

A reference post to collate instances in canon which could indicate LGBT+ characters.  In the case of regulars, I won’t include every instance as it would simply take too long.

Rimmer

As I was saying… :p

Honestly, Rimmer is so obviously LGBT+ to me that I don’t know where to start.  How about his reaction to Ace in “Dimension Jump”?

RIMMER: "Commander Rimmer!" I ask you.  "Ace!" Barf city.  I bet you anything he wears women's underwear.  They're all the same, this type, you know, Hurly-burly, rough-n-tumble macho marines in public, and behind closed doors he'll be parading up and down in taffeta ballgowns, drinking mint juleps, whipping the houseboy.

KRYTEN: Sir, he's you!  It's just that your lives diverged at a certain point in time.

RIMMER: Yes, I went into the gents and he went the other way.

KRYTEN: I assume, sir, you are making fatuous references to his sexuality.  If I may point out, if --

Or how about Low Rimmer?  Surely Rob and Doug could have got their point across a little less graphically?

Or if you prefer something less rapey, this passage from “IWCD”.  Unlike the show, Rob and Doug had more time and leeway to explore the characters and this is what they chose to include for Rimmer:

“Rimmer began to regret his outburst. He didn’t like to see his other self upset, and he even contemplated briefly going up to him and giving him a manly embrace. But in a brief moment of homosexual panic, he thought his double might get the wrong idea. Not that he would, of course, because he was him and he knew for a fact he wasn’t that way sexually tilted; so obviously his double wasn’t and obviously his double would know that he wasn’t either, and it was simply a manly embrace meant in a sort of mano a mano kind of way…Perhaps he was tired…Two or three days in bed and he’d be his old self again…Who cared if his copy saw it as a sign of weakness? He’d suggest it anyway.” Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, Grant/Naylor, pg 233.

And this from the end of the “Better Than Life” novel, when Holly - whose IQ has been restored - comes up with a way to bring Lister back from the dead (no, not as a hologram):

“Rimmer stood in the hatchway and his face yielded to a grin, which in turn gave way to laughter.  Not his normal hollow braying empty laughter, this was an altogether different noise.  This was a noise his vocal cords had never been called on to make before.

It was the laughter of joy.”

Better Than Life, Grant/Naylor, pg 218.

I know some fans read Rimmer as asexual and you can certainly make an argument for that, most obviously in “Marooned” where he describes his younger self as not “particularly highly sexed”.  Of course, that wouldn’t preclude him also being homoromantic or biromantic.

Lister

No-one’s denying Lister’s obvious attraction to and affection for women, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t be bisexual or pansexual.  In fact, his “I’m not gay!” protestations in “Duct Soup” is a fairly common way for people attracted to more than one gender to describe themselves if they don’t feel comfortable using labels.  Given that he was talking to Chloe!Kochanski to whom he’s attracted, it makes sense that he’d prevaricate like this.

And then of course, in the very next episode “Blue”, he dreams about kissing Rimmer.  It’s not only the fact of this, it’s the subsequent scene drawing a direct comparison between him missing Rimmer and Kochanski missing her Dave - her boyfriend.  And despite the ending of this episode, when Lister actually meets Rimmer again, he’s delighted.  Until he realises it’s not HIS Rimmer and even so, he gets used to nano-Rimmer and they eventually become quite chummy.

Not forgetting the chemistry between him and Ace, of course.

Kryten

I know he's a mechanoid, but no-one has any problem reading his relationship with Mechanoid - and later Blob - Camille as romantic and Camille literally says herself that both she and her husband Hector are actually androgynous, which makes Kryten - at the very least - panromantic.

And that’s before we get to his very obvious love for Lister which he states himself in “Back In The Red”.

Holly

Holly was actually conceived as a female character and became male due to Norman Lovett’s original casting.  Sources: “Stasis Leaked” by Smegazine writer Jane Killick and “The Unofficial Red Dwarf Programme Guide” by Smegazine writers Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons.

With Hattie’s replacement casting and later Norman’s return, Rob and Doug may not have intended to create a trans or genderfluid character, but that’s what they ended up doing.

Holly is also bisexual - male Holly was attracted to Hilly and female Holly to Ace.

George McIntyre

It was actually Rob and Doug’s audio commentary on the pilot version of “The End” on “The Bodysnatcher Collection” which alerted me to this possibility.  I know it’s a stretch but I’m including it precisely because I’m indifferent to George as a character and it makes no difference to me whether someone believes this one or not.

During George’s speech at his “Welcome back” party, he says “I don’t want you to think of me as someone who’s dead, more as someone who’s no longer a threat to your marriages - I think Joe knows what I’m talking about!”

We see a man and a woman laughing and the woman playfully pokes the man in the arm.  He stops laughing and looks a bit sheepish.

Rob and Doug comment confusedly to the effect of “Shouldn’t it be the other way round?  This is one of the things we had no control over at this stage.”

Come on, Rob and Doug.  Not only does this scene appear intact in the final televised version of “The End”, you also included extra background on George in “Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers”, showing the events leading up to his death.  Unlike the hologram he replaces, Frank Saunders, there is no mention of George having a wife or indeed any partner, so as far I’m concerned, we shippers can read whatever we choose into this scene.  We would regardless, but the way canon leaves it is particularly open-ended.

Deb Lister and Arlene Rimmer (“Parallel Universe”)

See previous entries.  If their male counterparts are LGBT+ then so are they, plus I always got that vibe from the performances anyway.

Camille

Yes, everyone uses female pronouns for her as that’s how she presents to the crew, but she says herself: “We’re androgynous, but I suppose you could call [Hector] my husband.”

Noel Coward Waxdroid (“Meltdown”)

Mr Coward was gay in real life and his fictional incarnation here greets Rimmer with “Delighted to meet you, dear boy!”  I rest my case.

Nirvanah Crane

And arguably the entire crew of the Holoship according to her speech: “It's a ship regulation that we all have sexual congress at least twice a day.  It's a health rule … Here it is considered the height of bad manners to refuse an offer of sexual coupling … We are holograms.  There is no risk of disease or pregnancy.  That is why in our society we only believe in sex -- constant, guilt-free sex.”

Does that sound as though they’re fussy about the genders of their partners?  It certainly doesn’t to me.  So:

Captain Hercule Platini

Commander Randy Navarro

Commander Natalina Pushkin

Commander Binks

Sam Murray

From the Series V DVD booklet:

“Briefly revived in “Holoship”, it came as a surprise that Sam was male.  In the original pilot script - and Series 1′s deleted funeral scene - deceased crew member “Sam Murray” is said to be dating “Rick Thesen”.  Possibly Red Dwarf’s first gay couple?”

Cop (“Back To Reality”)

I’m sure it wasn’t written as such and maybe he didn’t intend to, but the way Lenny Von Dohlen plays his character’s reaction to the Voter Colonel just pings my gaydar.

Frank Todhunter (“The End”)

I know the conversation in “Duct Soup” (which also includes a reference to a gay crew member nicknamed “Bent Bob” *cringe*) where Kochanski tells Lister that the Todhunter in her dimension was gay is played off as something she made up to take Lister’s mind off his claustrophobia, but she never actually says as much.  There’s nothing to say that at least part of what she was saying wasn’t true.

Ackerman (Series VIII)

In the Series VIII DVD documentary, actor Graham McTavish says he was playing Ackerman as someone who enjoys sex with women “or at a pinch, men dressed as women”.  So onto this list he goes.

Big Meat (“Only The Good”)

I don’t blame you if you’ve blocked this one out as I find the scene almost unwatchable, but he’s the big prisoner who takes to the idea of being Cat’s “bitch” unexpectedly quickly.

Katerina Bartikovsky (“Back To Earth”)

Credit to @clueingforbeggs for noticing that in “Pete Part 1” Ackerman claims to have been “having jiggy-jiggy with the Science Officer’s wife” and connecting that with Katerina being a Science Officer.  There’s nothing to say that the Joy Squid didn’t conjure up the image of an actual crew member.

But maybe the ship has more than one Science Officer?  Well, the way it’s said makes it sound as though there is only one but in “Holoship” Kryten gives Rimmer a mind patch from two officers, one of whom is Science Officer Buchan.  There is no mention of Buchan’s gender so who’s to say they aren’t also female?

Begg Chief (“Entangled”)

“We prefer the ship of green.  And the sexy light man with the lady legs so long and luscious!”

Chancellor Wednesday (“The Beginning”)

Actor Alex Hardy says in Series X DVD doc “We’re Smegged” that he was playing the relationship between his character and Dominator Zlurth with a homoerotic undercurrent and you can see it subtly in his performance.

Dolphy (“Cured”)

All I’ll say about this one is that if Messalina had behaved towards Lister as Dolphy does in this episode, nobody would have doubted that she was into him.

Ziggy (“Timewave”)

Proof that LGBT+ characters in this show work a lot better when Doug isn’t intentionally writing them as such.  Sorry.

Feel free to add any examples I may have missed.

@lord-valery-mimes  @aziraphale-lesbian   @notalwaysweak  @feline-ranger  @downonthepharm-red-dwarf  @hologrammette  @rosecathy  @cazflibs​

[pkmn-hcs]

Since I’m soooffttt for your headcanons agaaainn. D, L, M from the fluff alphabet with Blue ;v;

A/N: I am soft for Blue fluff

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Blue doesn’t date people he knows he will have no future with, so once he finds the right person and actually lasts months with, he begins thinking of how he will spend his life with them. At the time, he isn’t sure if he will continue being a Gym Leader, but for the time being, having his personal cheerleader shout encouragement from the sidelines at each of his battles or coming home to warm, open arms doesn’t seem so bad.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He would be dropping hints constantly! Every now and then, his to-be-s/o would be off doing their own thing when one of Blue’s Pokemon would unexpectedly come running or flying to them only for Blue himself to appear no later. By now it is no surprise, considering he was never hiding his feelings for them to begin with, so he just comes clean by asking them out for coffee.

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would they marriage be like?

It isn’t that he doesn’t want to get married, he just doesn’t have the time to think about it no thanks to his role as a Gym Leader. All that does change once he starts dating his s/o and gets some official time off to spend it with them.

He asks Daisy for advice and to accompany him to buy a ring. In her excitement, she decides to help him plan out his proposal by involving his Pokemon since “that is the only reason why they agreed to date you in the first place” she would say. Ouch, Daisy…

The wedding isn’t too grand as others would prefer and only close family and friends attend. Although Blue would want to show off his s/o to the world, he wants it to be as subtle as possible. 

Discord || Wattpad