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pinksturniolo · 9 months ago

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Switch - Chris and Matt Sturniolo (Part One)

Chris x Matt and Fem Reader

Summary: Cherry Bomb - The largest underground BDSM club in Los Angeles, California. Its member list is extremely exclusive, only granting access to celebrities, influencers and the filthy rich. No one really cares who you are or what you do, they come for one thing and one thing only. Whatever happens at the Cherry stays at the Cherry….

Content warnings: smut, oral, fingering, protected sex, bondage, spanking, teasing, threesome

this story has heavy themes and descriptions of bdsm, so if you’re not comfortable with that pls don’t read <3

word count: 3,879

Neon lights bounce off the shiny black walls, loud music playing but not too loud that you can’t hear what the blonde guy next to you is saying. He’s been talking your ear off for the last 20 minutes, while you zone out, sipping on your lemon club soda. This was the only time you wished they served alcohol here so you could at least be tipsy enough to endure the men that have been approaching you tonight.

Your usual partner hasn’t shown up yet and you have already been here for almost an hour. You try to ignore the slight ache in your chest though, focusing your attention back to the man next to you.

“So, how long you been coming here?” He asks.

“About 6 months now.” You reply.

“Damn, I feel like an amateur." He laughs, “This is only my second time.”

Obviously.

You hated to think so rudely but every person you’ve talked to tonight just wasn’t the one you preferred. You were starting to get extremely impatient, wondering where he was. He was never late.

As if your internal monologue has been heard by a higher power, you feel a hand on the back of your neck and turn in your seat to see the same man you were just thinking of. He has a dark look on his face as he eyes the person next to you.

“I don’t think she’s very interested buddy, why don’t you go bother some other poor girl.” He says to him, his hand now curling around your shoulder possessively.

The blonde guy’s face reddens with embarrassment as he quickly scrambles up from his chair. “Sorry man, I didn’t know she was yours.” he says and quickly walks off.

You scoff as your partner sits next to you, ordering a water from the waitress.

“That was unnecessary.” You say, his face still annoyed as he relaxes into the chair, his arm still slung around the back of you. He takes a long sip of his water, avoiding looking at you. You see his jaw clench and he runs a hand through his hair before speaking.

“What were you doing talking to that loser anyways?” He finally asks, making eye contact with you and he looks pissed.

“Oh my god, are you jealous Matt? Maybe you should’ve been here on time before other guys had the chance to talk to me.” you reply, a teasing smile appearing on your face.

He then grabs the side of your chair, pulling it forcefully towards him, causing you to gasp out. Your thighs are touching, and his hand moves from the back of your chair to the nape of your neck, sliding up to knot his fingers in your hair and pull slightly.

“Maybe you shouldn’t entertain other men when I’m not around and wait patiently for me like a good girl. Or do you need me to remind you who you belong to? Hm?” He whispers in your ear threateningly. Your core pulses with arousal at his words, his warm breath on your neck causing tingles to shoot down your spine.

So of course, this leads to you replying with a smart remark, which makes him take you to the candy room and punish you until you beg for forgiveness.

There were numerous rooms in the club that members could use, their time limit being an hour. But the main rooms that were larger and you could reserve for however long you wanted (at a high price) were only four. The star room, the red room, the flower room and the candy room.

The candy room is where you and Matt spend most of your encounters together at the Cherry Bomb. However, there’s nothing sweet about it besides the name. Its walls are painted red, a black bed with silk sheets in the middle and glossy black floors. There’s a cabinet of floggers, ropes, leather and fuzzy cuffs, vibrators and anything else you can imagine.

There’s no particular reason why it’s your favorite but Matt has been reserving it for you since you met him here and it’s become a routine on a Saturday night, twice a month.

Cherry Bomb has been around since the late 80s and has done a particularly good job at keeping its participants a secret, mainly due to the NDA you have to sign upon your first entry, along with a recent STD panel and heavy entrance fee. They also prohibited alcohol and drug use.

You were referred by one of your friends, which made it easier for you to get in. The money was no issue for you, but the wait list was long and having a friend on the inside had its benefits.

You instantly loved it from the first time you came. The atmosphere wasn’t grungy or too dark like you would expect a typical sex club to be. No one seemed to care who you were here, there was no judgement, and it was a safe place to act out your wildest fantasies, with whoever you choose.

You had had experiences with a couple different men and women, all which were satisfying for the most part. Most people had a habit of choosing a particular partner and being loyal to them, while others constantly swapped, not staying with one person too long.

When you met Matt, you instantly clicked, and found something in him that you hadn’t felt with any other member. He approached you one night, his demeanor confident but also calm. The energy flowed between you two, and once he got you to the room alone, it was fireworks. He was very clear on consent being an important aspect and boundaries were established before anything else.

Matt was a switch, like you. While most of the time he preferred to be dominate, he could also be submissive which was heaven to you. You loved it when he took control, using your body however he pleased, and he knew the best way to handle your brattiness. Because as much as it felt good to submit to him, you also had a fiery attitude which only made the pleasure of his punishment better.

He made you beg till you cried, spanked you so hard you had marks for weeks, and would tie you to the bed and fuck you until your brain was fuzzy, and your throat was raw from screaming his name. Making you cum over and over again until you were numb.

But when he was the submissive for the night… it was a whole different experience. There was nothing better than the feeling of him begging you to please him, demanding him to do whatever you wanted. Edging him until he was whimpering for you, teasing him and seeing how much he enjoyed it. Nothing compared.

And the best part about Matt that you liked, was that he always took the time to make sure you had the proper after care after each session. Cleaning you up, getting you water if you needed it, and even massaging your body if he went particularly hard on you that night.

He was currently holding you after tonight's session was done, rubbing small soothing circles on your back, your head cradled against his chest. You can hear his heart beating at a relaxed pace, calming you as your own heart slows down to match his tempo.

He breaks the sweet silence, his velvety voice pulling you out of your trance. “Y/N… I have a question for you.”

“Mhm?” You mumble, your fatigue settling in.

“How do you feel about a threesome?” He says, his hand stroking over the top of your head.

You’re alert now, lifting your head to turn and look at him. His eyes are half closed, a lazy smile on his face as he waits for your answer.

“I think it’s pretty hot. Is that something you want to do?” You reply.

“Are you comfortable with that?” He asks.

“I’ve experienced them before, yes. Depends… who would it be with?”

His bottom lip is pulled in between his teeth, a contemplative look on his face.

“I know someone that’s interested. In you. He’s always wanted to come to Cherry but he’s hesitant.” Matt says and your heart rate picks up a little at his words.

“He’s interested in me?” You ask, surprised at the fact that Matt talks about you outside of the club. That would be breaking the NDA.

He strokes his hand over the side of your face, caressing your jaw with his fingers. His eyes are soft, like they always are at the end of the night, adoring you with affection.

“Sorry, princess. I know I’m technically not supposed to talk to anyone about this. But I trust him… and I wouldn’t have said anything if I knew you would be upset.” He says.

You sit up now, fully facing him, and place your arms on either side of him, one hand resting on his chest and the other on his bicep.

“I know, I’m not upset. I’m flattered actually.” You say, smirking, the idea of what he’s proposing piquing your curiosity.

“Mm. Don’t get too cocky. But if you would like to try it out, I’ll tell him to come with me next time.” He tells you.

Your mind races at the thought of a threesome with him and another man, wondering how exactly that would change the dynamic between you two. Matt could be a little possessive and you were more than satisfied with just him as your partner but it made you think of how he would be able to share you. It excites you. He must trust this other person a lot.

“Who is it?” You ask him and he clicks his tongue, shaking his head at you with an amused look.

“It’s a surprise.”

✰✿

You return to Cherry Bomb two weeks later, more nervous than you had been any other time you’ve come. But your anticipation outweighs your nerves as you sit at the bar, patiently waiting for Matt. You’re wearing a skin tight black lace dress that’s basically see through, showing your matching black lingerie set underneath. Sleek red heels are on your feet, your hair falling in soft loose waves that frame your face and a light coat of mascara through your eyelashes.

You took the time to put extra effort into your appearance tonight, and practically everyone in the club notices, staring at you as they wander around. But you pay no mind, your focus on the soda in front of you. Matt would be fuming with rage if he knew you were entertaining anyone else tonight and usually you would play with fire but given the special circumstances, you decided not to mess with him tonight.

The waitress hands you a note, pulling you out of your thoughts. She smiles at you politely before walking off, attending to another customer.

Meet me in the red room.

It’s Matt’s handwriting. He’s never done this before, always meeting you at the bar and then escorting you to your usual room. Your palms sweat as you stand from your chair and make your way to the large room at the end of the hall with the red door.

The red room. It was the largest room in the club, and the only one you hadn’t been in before. You’ve heard rumors of how luxurious it was which is why it was so hard to book. How Matt was able to get it tonight, you’re not sure.

You take a deep breath and adjust your dress, pushing the door open. The cool air of the room hits you, tiny goosebumps erupting on your skin. Your heart picks up speed at the sight of Matt centered directly at the center edge of the bed. He’s also dressed in all black, his eyes roaming up and down your body in hunger as you saunter over to him.

Wait. Is that Matt? You pause in front of him, a few feet away. His hair is longer, and his face is extremely similar but with a slight difference. And his aura is arrogant. But when you make eye contact with him, you feel butterflies gather in your stomach, his blue eyes making you drown with attraction. It’s the same feeling Matt gives you but there’s something different about him.

You now realize it’s not Matt at all.

The smug smile on his lips that’s been growing since he noticed the confusion on your face only widens, his hands gripping the sides of the bed, making the muscles in his arm flex. He looks incredibly strong.

“Looking for someone?” He asks teasingly and you can already feel the pool of wetness growing by the second in your underwear.

“Where’s Matt?” You ask sweetly, tilting your head. Your arms are crossed and your eyes narrow, fighting the smile that threatens to break through.

Let the games begin.

The stranger in front of you chuckles, leaning back on his arms now, his legs spreading slightly in jeans. He licks his lips, looking you up and down again. You can’t help but do the same.

“What’s wrong sweetheart? Don’t like what you see?” He says, his bottom lip stuck out in a fake pout.

You smile at him, mocking the tone in his voice. “I prefer princess.”

He laughs lowly, biting his lip and looks behind you. “You weren’t lying when you said she was a brat.” He says and you whip your head around, shocked to see Matt sitting in the love seat at the corner of the room.

You hadn’t noticed him at all when you walked in, given the darkness of the room and the fact he was so quiet during your exchange.

Matt has a blank expression, not looking at you. “Call her whatever you want, Chris.”

You can see that he’s dressed in a plain white shirt and black jeans. It’s simple, like the clothes he usually wears but he still looks incredible.

You’re still turned towards him, giving Chris a full view of your ass now, which you’re sure he’s appreciating.

“I didn’t know you had a twin.” You tell him, your eyebrows raised in amusement.

The corners of his lips twitch as he fights a smile, exchanging a look with Chris that you can’t decipher. “There’s a lot of things about me you don’t know.”

He gets up from his seat now and crosses the room to where you are. You’re about to respond with a witty remark but he’s suddenly gripping your arms, turning you around forcefully to face Chris again.

Your ass is pressed into his crotch, and you feel him harden against you. You gasp lightly as he places his mouth next to your ear, whispering lowly.

“That’s enough from you, Princess. I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless it’s a yes or no. Understand?”

You nod slowly, and Chris watches with fascination at the way Matt handles you. You can see how visibly turned on he is, his boner straining through his jeans.

You’re more aroused than you’ve ever been, the feeling of Matt’s strong grip on your arms, as he places soft wet kisses on the curve of your neck and the look in Chris’ eyes as they burn into yours, his pupils blown out.

“Are you comfortable? You know your safe word, right?” He asks you, his tone a little lighter. He wraps one hand around your throat, the other on your left hip and squeezes.

“Yes.” You breathe. “Good.” He replies, releasing you completely and you feel him back up from behind you. “Now get on your knees.”

Your heart races as you sink down, Chris’ eyes following your every moment. He hasn’t taken them off you since you entered the room and something in his eyes made you very nervous but incredibly excited at the same time.

Matt is now seated on the opposite side of the room, in a large leather chair. He’s directly in front of you now, to the side of Chris. You sit obediently on your knees, your eyes still focused on him as he speaks his next set of instructions.

“Why don’t you show Chris how you put that mouth to good use.” he says, nodding his head for you to continue.

You swallow and look away from Matt now, to see an enticing smirk on his brother’s face. He spreads his legs farther open as he adjusts himself on the bed, unbuckling his belt from his jeans. He places it on the mattress next to him and pulls his jeans down and off his legs.

You scoot closer to him, positioning yourself between his legs, your hands resting on top of his thighs. The look in your eyes is enough to get his heart racing like yours, and he curls a finger under your chin, tugging your face closer to him as he leans down.

“Let me taste your lips, sweetheart.” He says softly and connects his mouth to yours.

Now you can tell the real difference between them. Matt is harsh, yet caring. His energy penetrates you with a feeling of deep connection, a tie that binds you to him in one more ways then one. The trust you two have built over the past few months comes through when your bodies mesh with one another. He knows just what to say to please you and you in return, love to obey his every wish and command.

But Chris… he kisses you like he’s starving. He’s sweet, yet strong. It’s all new territory to explore, and you can almost taste the desperation on his tongue. His hands are soft against your face, warmth flooding your body at the feeling of his touch. You wonder just how much Matt has expressed to him, what secrets he’s revealed about all the sinful, delicious acts you’ve conceived with him in the candy room.

Chris is magnetic, his wet, hot kisses making you ache in your core. He finally pulls away from you, his jaw clenched, his eyebrows furrowed in a dark look. “Take your dress off.” He speaks.

You pull it off with no hesitation, up and over your head, now in your lingerie beneath him.

He drinks in the sight of your half naked body, your tits pushing against your bra, the hem of your black thong high on your hips and you slip your heels off.

He pulls his dick out, red tip leaking with precum already. He’s practically the same length as Matt, with a little more girth. It’s a little intimidating but your needs overpower, your mouth watering as you look at him.

You open your mouth, puckering your lips to let a pool of saliva drip down onto his length and you make eye contact with Matt, the look he gives you making a spark run through you.

Chris groans as you look back at him, spreading your spit down him with your hand before you wrap your lips around his tip, swirling your tongue. “Shit… feels so fucking good.” He rasps.

His chest is moving up and down as he breathes deeply, exhaling from his nose as he grits his teeth, and you take him further into your mouth. It’s a little hard to adjust to his size but you do, bobbing your head as he brushes the back of your throat, making you gag slightly.

He moans loudly, bucking his hips up slightly. He pulls your hair back from your face, holding it into a ponytail, tightly, pulling at your hair a little. This makes you moan in return around him, his eyes rolling into the back of his head at the pleasure. The air in the room is thick now, the sounds of Chris fucking your mouth and his groaning filling the space. You can feel Matt’s stare on you, and your knees dig into the softness of the shaggy black carpet, your grip on Chris’s thighs tightening.

“Fuck.” He pants, and moves his hands down your back, your body bending slightly so your ass poked out, allowing him access to feel you up. He caresses the flesh of your cheeks, massaging them before he brings one hand down to smack you.

You jolt slightly, not expecting him to do that, and hum around him, your thighs clenching.

“Yeah? You like that?” he says, smacking you once more, making it sting a little. You make another noise of approval, his cock still stuffed down your throat but then pull out, with a response you’re later bound to regret. “Not hard enough.”

You look up through your lashes at him and your heart races from how mad he looks. When Matt gets that mad, his eyes glaze over, and his face is cold. But Chris smiles. Even though his eyes are hard, there’s a grin on his face that says, ‘You have no idea what you just started.’ It’s insanely attractive.

He then reaches next to him, the metal of his belt clanking. He folds it, and you see the genuine leather thick in his hand.

He grabs the back of your head, knotting his fingers in your hair. “Did I tell you to stop?”

You glance at Matt and his hand palms over the hardness in his jeans, his other hand gripping on the arm of the chair.

Fuck.

You take Chris into your mouth again, your ass in the air for him. He sighs as he slips back down your throat, dragging the belt across you. He does this agonizingly slow, your head working on him. Finally, he slaps your it on your ass, hard. You moan loudly, your nails digging into his thighs. “How’s that, princess?”

You breathe out hard from your nose, the harsh sting of the belt lingering. Chris rubs his hand over your cheek, soothing the skin there, allowing you a few seconds of relief before he brings it down against you again, a loud smack ringing in the air.

You cry out, tears forming in your eyes and bring your head up slightly, gasping for air.

See, the pain… the pain sucked. You saw red each time you were punished like this but after the few seconds of hurt passes, you feel a rush of euphoria, and tingles of pleasure you just can’t get enough of.

“Hm? Don’t got anything to say now? Is this what you wanted?” Chris says, his large hands squeezing and rubbing you, before bringing his belt down once more against you. All you can do now is whimper, your actions on Chris at a complete stop, while you grip his thighs, tears now streaming down your face, mascara running.

You look up at him through your pitiful tears, his teeth sunken into his bottom lip so hard it almost draws blood. Your face is flushed, lips red and swollen. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” He whispers and your heart flutters at his compliment.

You wonder if Matt heard and flick your gaze to him again. His jeans are unbuttoned now, his black boxers showing, his hand still on himself but not moving. He smirks, enjoying the fucked out look on your face.

Chris then grips your jaw in his hand, forcing you to look back at him.

“What do you think Matt? Think she deserves to cum?”

“Give her what she wants.” He replies.

a/n: soooo this one was supposed to be a full one shot but i had to split it into two parts or else it was gonna be too long lol i had this idea in my head i just had to write it out, so i promise i'll work on the final part of my matt series soon!!

taglist <3 :

@christhopersturniolo @sturniolopepsi @tillies33ssss @whicked-hazlatwhore @riasturns @junnniiieee07 @junovrsmp4 @sturnsjtop @seahorsie11 @inveigledvex @honestlyjb @mattslolita @stingerayyy2 @glassesmattsbae @eryismum @sturncakez @sturnioloco @wh0resstuff @muwapsturniolo

#matthew sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo fanfic

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red-riot-unbreakable-heart · 23 days ago

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Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 7

Previous Chapter: Part 6 | Next Chapter: Coming Soon!

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ship: Shoto Todoroki x Fem Reader! 💋

Genre: Fluff, Romance, S*xual Tension, Smut

🚫🔞THIS IS AN ADULT BLOG CONTAINING EXPLICIT CONTENT. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, A18+ ONLY.🔞🚫

CW: MDNI!, A18+, kissing, romance, sexual tension, spicy scenes, lemon. This chapter is very tame compared to the others!

Link to My Master List

The Party

You all rush back to the 1A dorm, your laughter spilling into the crisp night air as you congratulate each other for coming up with such a genius plan. You all trust Hatsume to do her part here – after all, she is the prodigy of the Support Course! At this point, Mineta doesn’t really have a choice but to participate – he’s already in way too deep (Or too high, for that matter).

You spread your arms wide as you run, the inky black sky above you blinking with a smattering of golden stars. It feels good to be young and reckless. You cackle as Monoma reaches out and grabs your hand, holding out his other to Toru. She takes it (or you assume she does – it’s hard to tell in the dark), and you feel Mina’s fingers interlace with your free hand. The four of you must look wild – a group of Japan’s most promising heroes in training locking hands and laughing under a perfect evening sky. You want to freeze this moment in your mind – take a snapshot and tuck it into the golden locket of your heart.

When you finally reach the dorm building, the four of you are breathless and wheezing. The rush of being young and pulling off a crazy scheme continues to pump through your veins as you take the stairs two at a time. When you finally reach the common area, your breath catches in your throat as you take in the scene.

It looks fabulous.

You have successfully blacked out the windows, causing the space to feel cozy but oddly illicit. Shoto has leant some of his expensive throw blankets to the cause - the navy woven squares are scattered across the room. Each blanket has been tastefully draped across the backs of the couches. Shoji and Tokoyami have arrived early, and are using their quirks to string up fairy lights around the space. The tiny lights give the space a warm, soft glow that fills your heart with an odd nostalgia. It looks like a picture book or a Pinterest board – fabulously cozy and sweet. You long for Shoto – it would be so saccharine to snuggle up to him under the tiny, blinking lights.

“Where did you get those!?” Mina says in awe, pointing at the lovely lights as Dark Shadow fastens the cord to a window frame.

“Hatsume from the Support Course popped by earlier and passed them along. I guess she developed them for underground missions or search and rescue? They’re super sturdy - battery powered and non-flammable.” Shoji says, tapping a fairy light bulbs with one of his dupliarm fingers. “So far they haven’t shown any sign of exploding or anything, so we figured it would be safe enough to hang them up.”

“They’re so cute!” Toru squeals, dancing around the room with her invisible arms thrown wide as she takes in the space. “This looks incredible guys!”

“Thanks again for all of your help!” you say to the guys (and Dark Shadow, of course!). As they finish hanging up the lights and grab seats on the couches. Dark Shadow is careful handling the lights, but given you’re all in a safe space his strength doesn’t really matter.

“It’s an honor to be part of this illicit evening.” Tokoyami says stoically, Dark Shadow grinning above him.

The Shadow butts in with his quivery voice. “Fumikage wants to kiss a girl tonight!”

If the bird boy could blush, his cheeks would be on fire right now.

“Dark Shadow!” He admonishes, pinching the bridge of his beak with two fingers.

“What!? I’m only telling the truth!” Dark Shadow squawks out, shrugging his staticky arms towards the heavens as he smiles mischievously.

“Oh really!?” Mina sidles up to where Tokoyami is perched on the edge of a couch cushion. “And what lucky lady’s caught your eye?”

“It’s no one’s concern!” Tokoyami refuses to look at Mina or to meet her gaze.

Dark Shadow buzzes excitedly in between the two and whispers conspiratorially into Mina’s ear. “He has a little crush on Tsu!”

“DARK SHADOW THAT IS ENOUGH!” Tokoyami says loudly, shoving his hands in his pockets as he gets to his feet. “We’re going to go back to my room until you decide you can behave.” He stomps off to the dorms, Dark Shadow hovering behind him and shooting Mina a thumbs up.

“Well that would certainly be an interesting couple!” She says impishly, rubbing her hands together.

“Mina.” You say, rolling your eyes. “Cut it out with the match making – we’ve got a secret party to pull off!”

“Fine, fine.” She waves you off, making her way to the kitchen to set up the booze. “Come on, guys. The party planners get the first drink of the night!” You and Toru cheer as you follow her to the kitchen.

“Nieto, Shoji – you want drinks?” You call over your shoulder, watching as Nieto takes the seat next to Shoji and starts up a conversation about Present Mic’s latest English lesson. They both shake their heads.

“I think Koda’s bringing some soda and ice tea – I’ll wait for that.” Nieto says, throwing you a peace sign. For the billionth time, you wonder when he became so damn loveable. Never in a million years would you picture yourself getting close to the blonde haired idiot.

In the kitchen, Mina and Toru are measuring out their glass bottle of booze – pouring small amounts into red, yellow and blue solo cups. “Guess who bought the paper goods?” Mina smirks as you reach for a cup.

“It was Midoriya, wasn’t it?” You swish around the amber liquid in your distinctively All Might colored cup.

“Bingo.” Mina takes a swig from her own cup and makes a face. “This’ll take some getting used to – hey! Sip it slow, Toru!” Mina admonishes as Toru downs her cup in a few gulps. You both look at her incredulously.

“What? I thought it would be better to get it over with! But yuck it burnsssss!” She squeals, crinkling the yellow cup in her invisible hand.

You sniff at your own cup – the scent is strong. You’ve sipped alcohol before at fancy family parties when your parents have allowed, but you’ve never had a full cup to yourself. You take a tentative sip and aren’t surprised when you agree with Toru – the stuff definitely burns on the way down. You make a “yuck” face. Maybe you’ll just stick to soda tonight.

You place your cup on the kitchen counter and reach for a bag of chips. You easily pop open the bag and start pouring the crisps into a large bowl to place out for the crowd.

“Okay. So Sato’s bringing desserts, Koda’s handling soft drinks, Shinsou’s handled the playlist…” You rattle off, slipping your phone out of your pocket to check your notes app to remind yourself of everyone’s rolls and responsibilities. You have a text from Shoto – you open it up to reveal a photo of his new whale plush.

Shoto: Kuchihiro is ready to party.

He’s added a disco ball emoji and you feel insanely proud of him for using emoji’s so liberally these days.

“You’re making that face at your phone again.” Mina snickers.

“What face?” You say, closing your phone and putting it back in your pocket. “I don’t make any phone faces!”

“You so do.” Toru says, draping her arms around Mina’s shoulders. “Lately you have this goofy lovesick look whenever you open up your phone.”

“I do not!” You say defensively, trying to laugh it off as heat floods your cheeks.

“Whatever you say!” Mina says brightly, rolling her eyes as she opens up a bag of pretzels and pours it out into another brightly colored bowl. “Let’s get back to your list…so Shinsou’s handling music, the guys have snacks and drinks covered. Oh! And entertainment will be MC’ed by yours truly!” Mina says, closing her eyes and posing dramatically with her cup of booze. Her tiny horns quiver in excitement.

“How could I forget that.” You say, rolling your eyes. Internally, you’re grateful for the change in subject. You don’t know how much longer you can keep Shoto a secret from your girlfriends. It’s so tempting to spill every juicy detail of your hookups to Toru and Mina. You long to tell them about the way he kisses, the dirty (and sweet!) things he’s been known to say in bed, how the velvety weight of his cock feels in your palm when you get him off…But no. Not right now. There’s too much at stake with UA’s no-dating policy. The less people who know, the better.

Focus on the party, dammit.

“I can’t believe this is actually happening!” Toru shrieks, doing a little jig around the kitchen.

“Alright guys – remember Hatsume is gonna buy us as much time as she can. That being said, we need to keep an eye on the clock and on our phones. It’s likely we won’t get a ton of warning if one of the teachers catches wind of our party and decides to bust us. Is everyone’s phone charged!?”

Mina and Toru both hold up their phones – at 85% and 25% battery, respectively.

“Toru!” You cry out, scooping her phone out of her hands and plugging it in to a nearby wall charger.

“What!? You and Mina have phones. Everyone in the dorm has phones! We’re fiiiiinnnneeee.” She draws out her last word and smacks her lips at the end. Oh, god. The alcohol is already kicking in. “Just three hot ladies against the world!” She cheers twirling. You and Mina lock eyes and Mina hesitantly puts her drink down on the counter. It’s probably best if you’re both sober to pull off this plan.

A few moments later Sato, Koda and a girl you don’t recognize join you in the kitchen. The animal hero holds quite the collection of beverages in his broad arms – iced teas, sodas, and lemonades catch your eye. He smiles happily as you help relieve him of the drinks, thanking him profusely.

Sato’s stacking tupperwares and trays of baked goods up on the counter – the heavenly scents of brownies, layer cakes and cookies dance across the room. Toru bounces around in excitement and praises the boys for bringing the provisions.

Mina pulls the mystery girl over towards you and Toru. The girl is rather pretty – she’s average height with long, glossy black hair that falls past her shoulders. She’s wearing a lovely light pink sweater embroidered with purple tulips. It pairs nicely with her flared blue jeans and tiny floral belt.

“Girls! I’d like you to meet Fumiko Fujita, my new friend from General Studies!” Mina waves her hands enthusiastically and points at the terrified Fujita, who’s biting her lip and looking at the ground. “She’s a little shy, but she’s excited to join the party and get to know everyone! Mind entertaining her for a sec while I go ask Shoji to hang up some streamers?”

“Uh…sure. What’s up?” You say uncertainly as Mina skips away to the other room. Who the hell is this chick?

The poor girl’s grey eyes dart up at you and Toru before she looks back at the ground.

“Hey.” She says quietly, thumbing at the edge of her sleeves anxiously. You take mercy on the poor nervous girl.

“It’s nice to meet you! I’m Y/N, and this is Toru Hagakure.” You say, taking a step back to give her some space.

“Hey there!” Toru bubbles excitedly, hiccupping a bit at the end. “Mina didn’t mention anyone from General Studies would be coming. Do you know our friend Shinsou?”

Fujita glances up at Toru and seems to relax when she registers that your friend is completely invisible.

“We were in separate classes. He ended up transferring into Class 1A, right?” She has a lovely voice – soft and sweet.

“Yes, he did recently. We’ve just started training with him and he’s really great!” You say, trying to keep the conversation flowing. “He’s told us a bit about the General Studies program and it sounds like you guys get to learn a little bit of everything which is super cool. I heard you recently did a work-studies with leading companies across Japan. How was that?”

Immediately she perks up and her eyes brighten as she babbles about participating in a work-study with a leading Hero PR Firm up North. She’s really quite likeable once the dialogue gets going. You get the feeling that she thought all you Hero Course students you would likely be pompous jerks. You’re more than happy to prove her wrong.

You chat for a few more minutes, asking questions about her experience in the General Studies course and about her passion for Hero media. Toru adds in a tipsy comment here and there, and a few minutes later the three of you are giggling like good friends.

“Sorry I was so nervous earlier – I’ve never really spoken to anyone in the hero course.” Fujita says genially as she accepts a cup of iced tea from a wobbly Toru. “I wasn’t sure what to expect. But you all are…well, normal people.”

“Why wouldn’t we be!?” Toru asks in surprise. Fujita looks away and blushes, embarrassed.

“I dunno…sometimes when the other courses talk about you guys they make it sound like the hero course is full of self centered powerful jerks. I think a lot of people in General Studies are jealous because they didn’t make the cut for the hero program.” She says thoughtfully, sipping from her cup.

“Is that how you feel?” You ask, feeling a bit hurt those other students in the school feel so poorly about your class.

“No, not really. I was never aiming for the Hero track. I applied directly to General Studies so I can learn about all aspects of the hero world and take classes in both the Business and Support programs. Plus this school has the best student library in the country. Actually, that’s where I met Mina.” She says thoughtfully.

“Aw it makes me feel bad that the other courses think we’re jerks.” Toru says sadly, draped over the kitchen counter.

“Not everyone does! Just a few.” Fujita assures her, reaching to grab a handful of pretzels from the bowl. “More than anything I was intimidated to come to the party since I don’t really know anyone.”

“That’s valid.” You nod, grabbing a few pretzels yourself. “So did Mina invite you to meet new friends, or…?” You’re honestly not really sure why Fujita is here. You’re happy for the company and to meet new UA students, but it seems kind of random that Mina wouldn’t encourage the girl to bring along friends from the Support Course.

And, speak of the Devil! Mina appears – a blur of pink as she dashes towards you all and grabs Fujita by the shoulders, causing her to squeal in surprise.

“Come on Fumiko! We need to go prep – I have a list for you just like you asked!” Mina steers the girl out of the kitchen and towards the common room, which is rapidly filling with students from classes A and B. She gives you and Toru a wave and a wink as she frog marches Fujita out of the space.

“…a list?” Toru wonders as she takes another sip from her cup.

“She’s definitely up to something.” You say to your invisible friend, watching Mina pull the General Studies Course girl to an empty corner of the room to whisper conspiratorially at her. Toru giggles and hiccups next to you, drooping back across the kitchen counter. You sigh and pour her a glass of water.

Class A has begun to filter into the common area, with guests from Class B coming in one at a time in order to avoid raising suspicion amongst the UA faculty and staff.

You wave to Midoriya as he arrives with Ochaco and Tsu. Tokoyami eventually re-emerges from his room and joins the party alongside Eijiro and Momo. Everyone is dressed to the nines – wearing their nicest little outfits and smiling widely. The girls are all done up in makeup the likes of which can never be worn in the classroom or in combat practice. Everyone has a happy glow about them – excited to be part of a fun evening in.

You grin as you join the group, passing around bowls of snacks and welcoming people in.

“Wow, you guys have really outdone yourselves!” Ochaco cries happily as she accepts a bowl of chips. “I know I was discouraging the party idea in the beginning, but honestly I’m so glad you ignored me and went through with this! It feels like it’s gonna be a fun night!”

“And you even got Class B to come out for this, ribbit.” Tsu adds, waving at a cluster of Class B students sitting on one of the couches. “This will be great for Hero Course morale.”

You smile and happily accept their compliments, excited to see where the night takes you all.

And that’s when you see Shoto Todoroki enter the room.

Your mouth is practically watering as you take him in - he looks incredible. He’s traded his usual sweatpants/t-shirt combo for a pair of khaki chinos that nip in to accentuate his delightfully narrow waist. His beautiful pale skin stands out in contrast with his navy blue polo shirt. It looks cozy like it’s made of a comfy textured sweatery material. He looks so goddamn delicious and slutty in this little outfit that you wish you could whisk him away to your room and make him cum all over again.

As if the outfit wasn’t enough, there’s this…

… Shoto is wearing his self proclaimed “Squirtle Squad” sunglasses inside.

You have to stifle a laugh as you realize he’s wearing the glasses he bought for himself and his whale plush as a bit. The sunglasses look completely normal (definitely RayBans or some other fancy pants brand that only a Todoroki could afford). But you know he’s wearing them for you as a continuation of the joke. This makes it even better – Shoto is far too practical to needlessly wear sunglasses indoors. It’s almost as if he’s flaunting your connection out in the open for everyone to see. It makes your heart warm and fuzzy and a laugh bubbles up out of you despite yourself.

Hagakure turns to you with interest. “What are you giggling about girl?”

You can’t help yourself – you subtly point at Todoroki as he steps into the common area, looking stylish and cool with that typical neutral expression of his.

“Ohmygod!” Toru lets out in a rush. “Todoroki is looking like a snack tonight! Hubba hubba!” She grabs onto you and shakes you a few times.

“Toru, you need another glass of water.” You say, laughing as you disentangle yourself from her invisible arms.

“I am perfectly sober again, thank you very much!” She huffs, pulling away from you so she can keep staring at Shoto. “Todoroki wearing that cunty little outfit sobered me right up.” This comment has you absolutely wheezing with laughter.

“I’m gonna go say hi to him and ask why he’s wearing sunglasses inside.” You tell her, sauntering your way towards Shoto.

When you make it across the room to greet him, he’s leaning over a bowl of pretzels, carefully selecting the most pristine, unbroken pretzel stick he can find. You give him a moment, watching as he chooses a pretzel and raises it to his sunglasses-covered eyes to examine it closely. It must pass whatever visual test Shoto is performing, because he pops it into his mouth and starts to chew.

You stare for a millisecond at the way his strong shoulders shift beneath the cozy sweater material of his shirt. You long to run your hands across him so you can feel the hard muscles of his back. Ugh if only you could peel that shirt off of him so you could kiss each sharp divot of his spine. You recall earlier the way his back had trembled against your bare chest as you’d jerked him off in your lap. Maybe the two of you could sneak off somewhere and do that again…

You shake yourself from your daydream and reach up to tap him lightly on the shoulder. “Hey there, stranger.” You say behind him. He turns to you and - despite the mouthful of pretzel – he beams. His entire body practically lights up as your eyes meet. You want to tell him to cool it – stop being so goddamn beautiful and looking at you so openly where everyone can see.

“I see we have a card carrying member of the Squirtle Squad in our midst this fine evening.” You say, crossing your arms with a smirk. His smile grows impossibly wider and he flips up the sunglasses to rest on top of his head. The motion pulls his bangs up in a way that would make most men look goofy. But on Todoroki, the hairstyle is devastatingly hot.

“You caught me.” He says quietly. “I even wore blue. Have you ever heard of cosplaying? I just learned of it on the internet this morning. I’m cosplaying as Squirtle.”

Oh this sweet baby boy. His eyes glint with excitement and you wish you could pull him into a hug he’s being so soft and open with you right now. You settle for something simpler. You reach your hand out to the pretzel bowl, letting your pinky brush against his as you fish out a broken pretzel stick. He shivers at the contact. You bet he’s half-hard in those tight pants of his. You shake your head quickly, trying to clear it of your horny thoughts. You try not to think about what’s under his attractive clothes – it would be ideal to make it through this night with dry panties, after all.

“I have heard of cosplaying! Just wait until I take you to a Comic Con, Shoto. I’m gonna blow your mind.” You tease, giving him a tiny wink. You quickly reevaluate your surroundings to make sure no one is seeing how downright flirty you’re being with Todoroki.

“You already did this morning.” He admits, cheeks rosy with a blush. “You seem to find new ways to blow my mind almost daily.” He absentmindedly adjusts the sunglasses holding back his two toned hair.

“You better get used to it.” You intone softly. Izuku, Ochaco and Tsuyu make their way towards you to greet Todoroki. You quickly take a step backwards from Shoto to put some distance between the two of you. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”

“Woah, Todoroki! Nice sunglasses!” Izuku Midoriya is bouncing on his heels with excitement as he makes his way towards you and Shoto. Your private conversation comes to a quick halt, Shoto purposefully taking a few steps apart from you as well so that no one will sense your mutual attraction.

Midoriya is eager to chat with Shoto and ask his opinion on the latest battle strategy class your class has undergone. Shoto eagerly sinks his teeth into the topic. He’s told you multiple times of his admiration for Midoriya and of how highly he values their friendship. You smile softly and let them yap, taking the opportunity to make your way back to Toru with Ochaco and Tsu in tow.

“Do you plan on playing Spin The Bottle tonight, Tsu?” Ochaco asks, munching on a few pretzel sticks she’s snagged from Shoto’s pretzel bowl. “I’m undecided!”

Tsu blushes a light pink and holds her face in her hands. “I don’t know if I’m ready for something like that, ribbit. And I like all of our classmates, but it would be awkward to kiss someone for the first time in front of the whole entire class.”

“Yeah, I agree.” Ochaco says, finishing her last bite of pretzel. “I would be a little embarrassed! But there’s something kind of thrilling about the game, ya know?” She turns her face towards you. “What about you, Y/N? You think you’ll play?”

“Mina, Toru and I have been planning this party for so long, that it would be weird if I didn’t play!” You laugh, waving Toru over to your group. She’s a little ways ahead chatting up Ojiro.

“If you could choose anyone in the class to kiss, who would it be? Who do you hope gets picked for you?” Ochaco is bouncing excitedly at your side. She’s just as bad as Toru tonight – so much enthusiasm and teenage horniness.

“Huh.” You say, trying not to let your eyes stray towards Shoto. “You know, I really haven’t thought about it.” You quickly try to divert the conversation to another topic. “Did you know that Shoji and Tokoyami did most of the decorating in here?”

“They did a great job!” Tsu says, admiring the many streamers and decorations that the boys have hung up. “Tokoyami is so talented with that Dark Shadow of his, ribbit!” Hmm, interesting. Seems like Tokoyami’s crush on Tsu may not be totally one sided. You smile lightly as Toru skips towards you all.

“Ojiro better be my Spin The Bottle kiss!” She whispers urgently to the three of you. “He’s looking like an absolute snack in those corduroy pants. It would be a shame for them to stay on him the entire night.”

“Toru!” You squeal, scandalized alongside Tsu and Ochaco.

“What!?” Toru laughs mischievously. “I’m just saying – an ass that fine deserves to be admired up close. Naked. And I volunteer as tribute!”

“Oh my God!” Ochaco laughs. “I didn’t realize Spin The Bottle involves booty!”

“Just my version!” Toru cackles as she turns to look at Ojiro over her shoulder. “I am going to absolutely wreck him someday. Tail and all.”

This conversation is making you feel hot around the collar. You change the subject quickly for all of your sakes. “Ochaco…who would you choose to kiss? Midoriya, right?” You side eye your friend as she blushes and stammers.

“Oh I don’t know about that! W-we’re just good friends!” She plays with her hair, un-tucking and than re-tucking her bangs behind her ears.

“Good friends can kiss!” Toru says loudly, and you roll your eyes as you glance around for some water you can pour down her throat.

The four of you chat and giggle together as other classmates continue to roll into the party. Snacks are being passed around and the overall atmosphere is jovial. Members of Classes A and B are mixing nicely, and you realize with a start that there has never really been an opportunity for the two classes to get together and just socialize before. All of your interactions are for training or competition purposes. This is the first time you’ve all really been able to let loose and mingle.

Eventually, Neito comes to join the little group. He laughs and teases and jokes alongside you all as if he’s always been a part of the crew. It’s as if the past few months of teasing and goading Class A have never happened. You notice that he’s bouncing around with a frenetic energy, constantly craning his neck to see over the crowd. You guess he’s nervous and waiting for a curtained purple haired Shinsou to make an appearance.

When Shinsou does finally make his way into the common room, you’re the first to see him. He strides into the room with a bored look on his face. His expression instantly brightens as classmates across the room shout greetings.

“Shinsou, my man!” Kamanari shoots him finger guns from across the room where he’s chatting with Jirou and Tokoyami.

“Hey Shinsou!” Izuku calls out with a wave from where he’s still deep in conversation with Shoto.

You watch a small smile stretch across Shinsou’s face and you recall what he was like when your class first met him – a shy guy convinced he needed to be a loner. It’s funny how much he’s grown in such a short time. He’s now on friendly terms with almost everyone, waving and sharing greetings with the bulk of Class A and B and he makes his way through the crowd.

You notice something else important, too - Shinsou looks…hot.

Wow, you’ve totally never noticed how attractive he is before. He’s all angles and brooding, but in a kind of slutty way!? He glides through the room surveying the scene with intense, sleepy eyes framed by thick lashes. He’s wearing a slouchy oversized sweater that accentuates his broad shoulders in just the right way. His black skinny jeans pull a bit at his thighs – he’s clearly bulked up a lot in the past few months that he’s been in the hero course. It looks as if he hasn’t gotten around to buying new clothes to fit his more muscular frame. His jeans tuck down into dark purple high top vans.

You can’t help but stare. Huh. You’ve only really seen him in various school uniforms. You’ve never taken care to wonder how Hitoshi Shinsou dresses himself for a social outing. And now here he is, looking like some skater out of an American high school dramedy.

You glance over at Monoma and he’s clearly spotted Shinso as well. He’s practically got heart eyes as he drinks in Shinsou’s emo outfit. As Ochaco, Toru and Tsu discuss Mount Lady’s latest city rescue in detail, Neito leans down to whisper in your ear.

“God. He’s looking absolutely sinful.” He chews on his thumbnail absently as he watches Shinsou scoop up a handful of chips while he chats with Momo. “I’ve never seen him gel his hair like that before. It looks so…good.” Neito chokes a bit on the last word.

“You’d better get it together.” You whisper back conspiratorially. “Go and talk to him about the playlist or something.”

Neito’s eyes brighten and he nods furiously. “Yes. Of course. You’re a genius. Let’s get this show on the road.” He rolls back his shoulders and rearranges his facial features into something akin to confidence. You’re hit with a sudden realization.

“Neito were you…a theater kid in middle school!?” You chuckle as he readies himself to go greet his crush.

He shoots you a look. “Now is not the time for me to regale you with tales of how I played Link Larkin in my middle school’s production of Hairspray.” This dramatic bastard. He takes a moment to stretch and shake out his muscles, eyes focused across the room on an oblivious Shinsou. You stifle a laugh. “Shut up! I’m mustering strength to go seduce the man of my dreams!” Neito snaps at you, but he’s grinning.

“You’ve got this.” You say to him under your breath, giving him two thumbs up.

He puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes lightly. “Here’s hoping!”

“Alright ladies. I’ll see you in a bit for the main event!” He says briskly to your group, waving goodbye to the four of you as he strides across the room on long legs.

You watch him approach Shinsou with his usual “Phantom Thief” bravado. You never realized how much Monoma is truly faking his confidence. Up until now, you truly thought he was some sort of wild psychopath who lived to make everyone’s lives a little difficult. But now you know the true Monoma – the anxious teen who doesn’t believe he truly deserves to be in the hero course. The classmate who is trying way too hard to overcompensate for what he views is a “lesser” quirk.

Shinsou’s mouth quirks up at the corner as Monoma comes into his line of sight. The blonde cracks a joke and gestures expansively at the room before throwing an arm around Shinsou’s broad shoulders. You guess he’s probably making a comment about how Class A thinks they have the best dorm or something like that. To your surprise, Shinsou laughs at whatever Monoma is saying. His face is open, his expression light. He looks up at Monoma with soft eyes. Huh, maybe there’s a chance for that Class B weirdo after all.

Neito approaches Hitoshi with a loose wave that he hopes is oozing confidence. Momo waves goodbye as she’s forcibly pulled away from Shinsou by Kamanari (whos’ ranting about needing her opinion on some tea). Neito is grateful that the interruption has left Shinsou wonderfully alone.

“Ah, is that my eternal vampire lover? Finally come to collect what’s his?” Neito jokes as he rolls up to greet his purple haired friend. He stretches his arms up and gestures at their classmates around the room. “These folks have no idea that we are the masterminds behind Cloak and Dagger Melodies.” Hitoshi smirks and Neito decides to push his luck. He slings an arm around Shinsou’s strong shoulders.

Hitoshi smiles at him, eyes soft. “If I was a vampire, I’d have drained you of blood a long time ago.” He mutters in that gravely tone of his.

Fuck. Hot tendrils of arousal shoot straight through Neito’s gut in response to that little comment. His brain short-circuits as he pictures Hitoshi’s sharp canines biting into the delicate skin of his neck.

“You ready to rock this place?” Hitoshi says, a little louder. He digs his hand into his back pocked and pulls out his phone. He swipes it open and pulls up the Cloak and Dagger Melodies Spotify playlist in a swift motion. Neito watches from over his shoulder, arm still wrapped around Hitoshi and his plush oversized sweater.

“No passcode security on your phone? My, Hitoshi, you like to live dangerously.” Neito quips flirtily.

Hitoshi’s eyes flicker up to meet Neito’s. “I have nothing to hide.” He says softly, flicking his thumb across the screen and opening up “Settings.” “What’s the name of Mina’s speaker?”

“Oh – it’s, uh, the one you’d expect it to be.” Neito says in a strained voice, pointing at the phone screen. Hitoshi looks down at the list of Bluetooth devices ready to connect and his eyebrows quirk upwards.

“You can’t be serious.” He says, disbelieving.

“I’m afraid I am.” Neito says somberly.

Hitoshi selects the device labeled “EijirosThiccBootyCheeks” and hits connect. His phone instantly pairs with the speaker. Perfect timing - Eijiro Kirishima walks by and greets them both with an easy smile on his way to the kitchen. As he strides away, Hitoshi and Neito’s eyes linger on his backside. Kirishima’s tight fitting jeans accentuate the plump curve of his ass, which bounces a bit with his springy steps.

“Christ.” Hitoshi chortles into his free hand, barely able to hold back a bark of gravely laughter. “He really does have ‘thicc booty cheeks.’”

Neito slides his arm off of his friend’s shoulders so he can stifle his own laughter. Once Kirishima is fully out of sight they dissolve into giggles, gasping for air each time they lock eyes with each other.

“Mina really is too much.” Hitoshi says once they’ve calmed down a bit. “She better get to kiss the hell out of Kirishima tonight during Spin the Bottle. If she doesn’t, even I’ll be disappointed.” He opens up Spotify again and kicks off the playlist. Music swells from the speaker on one of the common room tables, adding a sweet ambiance to the room full of chattering students.

“Yeah it’s crazy those two haven’t become a couple already. They’ve been pining for each other for what seems like forever.” Neito says, patting the wrinkles out of his button down as he comes down from his laughter high.

Hitoshi catches his eye meaningfully. “It’s funny, I feel like there’s a lot of mutual pining going on in the Hero Course lately.”

Neito doesn’t know what to say. He can’t piece together if Hitoshi is referring to the two of them, or if he’s talking about the other almost-couples in Class A: Jirou and Kamanari, Izuku and Uraraka…

He opens up his mouth to ask Hitoshi to clarify what he means, but is interrupted by - “Hey guys, do you want some bevvies!?” Toru appears out of seemingly nowhere, bearing two half-full All Might solo cups smelling strongly of alcohol.

Hitoshi shakes his head no. “I think I’m gonna grab some coffee from the kitchen. I could use the caffeine.”

“I’ll probably have another iced tea. But thanks, Toru.” Neito says warmly. She nods (well, based on her body language one can assume she’s nodding her invisible head in understanding) and moves on to the next group to pass around her drinks.

“You’ve certainly seemed to hit it off with Mina, Y/N and Toru lately.” Hitoshi says thoughtfully, smiling smugly at Neito. “I guess us Class A folks aren’t as bad as you made us out to be, yeah?”

Neito makes a show of crossing his arms. He puts on a theatrical scowl for a moment, then drops it. “Honestly…it’s been really nice. I feel like I can be myself around them. Like how I am with you. You all have a weird way of making me feel…less insecure about myself. I don’t need to posture or put on a show for you guys.” Neito looks at the ground, a bit embarrassed. He wasn’t expecting to get so vulnerable out in the open, in the middle of Class A’s common room.

Hitoshi’s still smiling when Neito looks up to meet his eyes. His mouth looks so impossibly soft – Neito wishes he could just lean in and press a kiss to Shinsou’s perfect cupid’s bow.

“I like seeing you like this. You deserve friends who bring out the best in you.” Hitoshi says simply, pocketing his phone. Neito doesn’t have time to react before Hitoshi grabs his sleeve and pulls him in the direction of the kitchen. “Now come on, let’s get some caffeine before Mina starts wrangling everyone up for her screwy little game.”

As Hitoshi pulls him through the crowd, thumb brushing softly against his wrist, Neito feels like he may be in something close to heaven.

Everyone is munching on the chips and pretzels, chatting and laughing. Toru has been passing around small cups of liquor in regular intervals until the bottle is completely empty. When it’s split between all of the people at the party, the alcohol doesn’t really amount to enough to make anyone truly drunk. It’s almost everyone’s first experience with drinking, and a few of your classmates are buzzed and giggly.

As everyone continues to socialize, Mina and Toru work together to peel off the liquor bottle’s dark label. When they’re done, you use a liberal amount of cheap dish soap to rinse and clean out the glass bottle in the communal kitchen sink. You roll up your sleeves to avoid soaking them in the hot, soapy water as you try to get all of the sticky label residue off of the smooth glass. When you’re finally done, Neito holds out a helpful hand, taking the bottle from you so he can towel it dry.

Hitoshi sits on the kitchen counter with his long legs crossed. He’s sipping on a hot cup of coffee, an amused smirk on his face as he watches you all prep and pass the bottle around reverently. From time to time he turns to ask a question to Fujita, who is perched on the counter top next to him. She’s babbling animatedly about what his old class is up to in General Studies, and he seems more than happy to add to the conversation whenever she pauses for a breath.

It’s nice, having all of your friends new and old gathered together in the small space. The conversation flows easily and there is a warm buzz of familiarity and fun hanging in the air. Neito finishes drying off the bottle and holds it up to the light, grinning at you. His eyes flicker over to Hitoshi and his smile squiggles nervously.

Finally, Mina turns to all of you in the kitchen. She claps her hands together like she’s about to pray. She looks up at you all over her steepled fingers and says in an ominous tone.

“Fam. It is time.”

Ten minutes later, most of Classes A and B has been wrangled into a vague circle formation in the common room. Chairs have been dragged into the mix, but most of your friends are sitting on the floor. Those who don’t want to participate directly but are eager to witness the game stand on the sidelines in small pockets.

You sit with Toru and Fujita from General Studies to your right. Neito and Hitoshi sit on your left. Everyone is buzzing with energy and maybe a teensy bit of alcohol.

Mina, of course, is at the center of everything. Her bright pink skin naturally draws all attention onto her. She brings up her hand to signal for everyone to stop talking, and unsurprisingly the whole crowd listens. She’s got a natural aptitude for leadership, making her an ideal future hero.

“Here are the rules!” Mina holds the bottle above her head like it’s a sacred trophy. “Each round, one person will be chosen to spin the bottle. If you get picked, you’ll stand in the center of the circle and lay the bottle on the ground and give it a hard spin. Whoever the bottle points to, you’ve gotta kiss. Seems easy enough, right?” She grins broadly at all of you, bouncing on her toes in excitement.

“What if we don’t want to kiss someone in the group?” Sero asks skeptically, raising his hand. “Can we get another spin?”

Mina’s eyes flash as she turns to him. “Nope. By joining this circle, you consent to kiss whoever the bottle chooses – no redoes. Of course, you can say no at anytime and bow out of the game. But once the bottle is spun, you don’t get another try.”

“Fair enough.” Sero concedes, settling back into his seat.

“Here’s an important rule - we’re all going to be respectful of each other here. Don’t make things weird – no groping, no butt grabbing, and no tongue. Just because someone kisses you during the game, doesn’t mean they have feelings for you or owe you anything else. Got it?” Mina gives you all an intense look and the group nods in unison. “I’ll serve as the master of ceremonies and select each spinner. We ready to rock and roll?”

“I think we need a demonstration!” Denki calls out from across the circle, eyes bright with mischief. He practically crackles with electricity as he calls out in a teasing tone “Why don’t you go first, Miss ‘Master of Ceremonies’?”

Mina smiles back, all game. “Of course. Watch and learn, everybody.” She saunters to the center of the circle and makes a show of placing the bottle on the ground. She bends over lithely, shaking her ass as she does so. A few people wolf whistle and she turns to give you and Toru a conspiratorial wink. She’s such a showman its ridiculous. You briefly wonder whom she’ll get. Will she be disappointed when the bottle doesn’t land on Eijiro? After all, the odds of having the bottle land on your first choice has got to be slim to none…

She gives the bottle a wicked spin and the game is officially afoot. The glass bottle whizzes across the hardwood floor as everyone watches, captivated. It spins for longer than you expected, turning end over end before it finally seems to start losing momentum. Everyone in the room seems to be holding his or her breath, eyes on the bottle as it skitters to the left and then stops dead…right in front of Eijiro Kirishima.

If Kirishima is surprised by this turn of events, he doesn’t show it. He grins up at Mina as he gets to his feet.

“Weren’t you teasin’ me earlier about this, hoping you’d get to kiss me?” He says loud enough for everyone to hear. Mina smiles and shrugs. You see her glance quickly at the General Studies girl then back up at Eijiro. Huh, strange.

“So, how chivalrous are you going to be right now?” She says slyly, inching towards him on tiptoes. He laughs and leans down to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. The gesture is so gentle and caring that it makes you envious. You wish that Shoto would kiss you like that in front of all of your classmates.

“Good enough for the game?” He asks as he stands back upright. He’s flushed as he looks down at her with bright eyes, his mouth quirked up in a shark toothed grin.

Mina looks up at him, eyes half lidded. She smiles slightly as she shakes her head no.

“Sorry, Eijiro. We need to kick off this game with a little more spice!” Mina cries out dramatically, moving back towards her classmate.

“Wha-?” Kirishima doesn’t have time to react – Mina’s throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him full on the mouth with gusto. Eijiro’s eyes are wide with shock, but after a second he’s kissing her back sweetly. His hands come up to cradle her face so he can kiss her better. It’s a kiss that feels too special - like it should be private.

The whole thing lasts maybe 15 seconds, and then Mina breaks the kiss and hops away as if she’s been electrified. Everyone cheers and she shakes her head as she comes back to herself. After a shaky breath, she takes a sweeping bow.

Kirishima, however, is standing in the center of the circle looking uncomfortable and lost. “Oh jeez that was so embarrassing Mina!” He practically whines out, covering his blushing face with his hands.

“What are you talking about!? Letting a girl kiss you is super manly.” Mina calls out above the roar of the crowd. She leans in closer to him and whispers a quick “Sorry Eij.”

He shakes her off and goes back to take his seat, blushing the whole way and avoiding her eye contact. Midoriya pats him on the shoulder empathetically, and all of the other guys are clearly glad they weren’t chosen first.

“So that’s how it’s done!” Mina glances guiltily at Eijiro before grabbing the bottle off the ground. She waves it in the air enticingly. “Who’s next?” She scans the crowd of classmates before deciding on her first victim. “Kaminari, how about you?”

Denki looks up with a start and points to himself. “Me?” He’s now also patting Kirishima consolingly on the back. “Why not Sero? Look at him – he’s dying to be chosen!”

Everyone turns to look at Sero. The long haired boy is absentmindedly scrolling through Tumblr on his phone. Feeling eyes on him, he blinks up at the group in surprise: “What?”

“He’s not even paying attention!” Mina points at Sero accusatorily with the bottle. “Jeez Sero. Leave the circle if you’re not gonna engage.” She turns back to Denki, hands on her hips. “You’re always bragging about what a suave ladies man you are…so why not put your money where your mouth is?”

“Ugh, fiiiiine.” Kamanari groans, making a show of getting to his feet. He stretches catlike before reaching out to grab the bottle. He shuffles slowly to the center of the circle, grumbling all the way. His face gets a bit pale when he realizes that everyone’s eyes are eagerly watching him. Ever the little attention whore, he quickly shakes his nerves off and gives the bottle a gentle spin. It clatters on the floor and turns around lazily a few times, and then seems to gain speed. Weird.

The bottle turns a half dozen times before coming to a complete and utter stop. It’s pointing at Jirou.

Holy shit this is a wild development!!! You reach out and grip Toru’s hand to convey your surprise. It’s known by almost everyone in the class that Kyoka Jirou and Denki Kaminari have been pining for each other since the start of the year. It’s almost embarrassing how head over heels they are for each other - they bicker almost constantly.

Denki stares between the bottle and Jirou, dumbfounded. His mouth hangs open comically and he makes no effort to shut it.

“Oh my God!” Jiro groans, leaning forward so that her dark bangs cover her eyes. “Really!?”

“Hey!” Denki says, sticking his nose up in the air. “You should be thrilled to get to kiss me! I’m a catch!” Denki stomps over towards her. He’s frowning now, but he keeps walking towards her. He gets to her side of the circle and reaches down a hand to help her up.

“I swear to God if you electrocute me or some shit…” Jirou threatens, grabbing his hand and allowing him to haul her to her feet.

“I have perfect control over my quirk, how dare you imply - ”

“Shut up and kiss already!” Sero calls out, bringing an early end to their bickering. It seems he’s abandoned Tumblr in favor of live entertainment.

“Fine!” Jirou and Kamanari yell at him in unison. They take a moment to glare daggers at Hanta (as if it’s somehow his fault that they’re in this situation) before turning to face each other.

Denki is a bit taller than Jirou, so he has to stoop down a bit as he sidles up into her personal space. You see him gulp down his nerves as he gets in closer to her, steeling himself. He raises a hand to brush her bangs out of her face before leaning in to bestow a gentle kiss on her punk black lipsticked mouth. Jirou closes her eyes and leans into the kiss. You feel your heart tighten at the image of your two friends finally acting on their feelings.

“Finally!” “Let’s go!” “Great job, Chargebolt!” The guys from Class A are all cheering – they’ve been listening to Denki moon over Jirou for the better part of a year. Sero and Kirishima are particularly annoying as they whoop and cheer. You laugh along with the rest of the crowd as the two break apart. You secretly wonder if everyone would cheer if you and Shoto were to kiss in the center of the room.

Jirou flips Sero and Kirishima the bird before stomping out of the circle in her thick combat boots, her face scarlet. She leaves Denki standing dumbfounded in the center of the circle; his face looks like he’s overused his electrification quirk. He weakly gives his friends a thumbs up before chasing after Jirou. You can hear her stomping down and out of the Class A dorm building – she must be headed for the quad.

“Well, looks like our lovebirds have flown the coop.” Mina glides across the floor to collect her bottle once again. “And speaking of birds…Tokoyami, you want to go next?” She turns to where your bird heteromorph classmate is leaning casually against the doorframe as he chats with Momo and Todoroki.

“I’ll have to pass.” Tokoyami says simply, turning back to his conversation. Mina pouts, glancing at Tsu quickly before deciding to move forward with the game.

“Well then why don’t we get someone from Class B in the mix…” She pretends to scan the crowd. You have a feeling you know where this is going, and sure enough… “Monoma, how about you? Want to try your luck with the bottle?”

You have to admit, Monoma is a pretty good actor. If you hadn’t known that this was all part of a greater scheme, you would have honestly believed that he’s surprised when Mina picks him out of the crowd.

“Yeah, Monoma, get up there!” Kosei Tsuburaba from Class B calls out, hyping up his classmate. Pony Tsunotori cheers for him as well. It’s almost funny how, for once, Monoma doesn’t seem to be fueled by his typical unhinged confidence. You almost feel a little bad for him as he wordlessly gets up, clearly trying to shake his nerves.

“What? No bravado about how superior Class B is over Class A?” Mina says somewhat skeptically. It’s clear to you and Toru that she was prepared to put on quite a performance with Monoma at this stage of the game.

There’s a glint in Monoma’s eye as he registers that she’s trying to bait him. His mouth stretches into a smirk as he takes a step towards Mina.

“Of course I’ll prove that Class B is superior at everything.” Monoma lets out a laugh, but it’s not as unhinged as usual. You notice his eyes dart to look at Shinsou as he steps forward. Shinsou is surveying the scene with sleepy eyes, looking almost bored. You wonder if he’s putting on an act as well.

When Mina holds out the bottle to Neito, her smile is genuine. “Yeah, I’d like to see you try.”

Monoma takes the bottle in shaky hands and gathers his nerve. The thick glass makes a resounding clunk when he places it to the ground. He manages to plaster a wobbly grin to his face as he spins it with a flourish. The bottle clatters across the floor, spinning faster than ever before. Everyone cheers as the glass vessel goes round and round, eager to see who will get picked.

You can see Monoma’s jaw twitch nervously as he watches the glass spin, no doubt praying that it will land on a special purple haired hero. You wonder at what the odds could be. There must be over a dozen people sitting on the floor around you…how likely is it that Monoma will get his kiss?

To your astonishment, the bottle finally stops spinning and lands so that it points squarely at Shinsou. Okay, Mina definitely has some explaining to do. This game is absolutely rigged and you have no idea how she’s pulling it off.

An “ooooo” gushes from the crowd of students sitting around the circle and throughout the common area. A few people snicker as Monoma’s face flushes beet red, he seems to be frozen in place. For a moment, you worry that he may pass out. His eyes dart rapidly between the bottle and Hitoshi. He seems stuck, unsure of what to do next.

Shinsou, however, is calm as all hell. He rolls his eyes at the snickers and jibs flowing in from around the circle as he gets to his feet. He walks slowly towards his friend and then turns to address the crowd around them.

“Seriously, guys. Stop being so childish, this is no big deal.” He says in his gravely tone, sharp eyes bouncing around the room before settling on Nieto.

Shinsou abandons his usual s cowl, smiling genuinely at the blonde. “Now come here.”

Hitoshi doesn’t need to use his voice quirk to get Nieto to step towards him, almost dreamlike. Your jaw nearly drops as you watch the scene – Hitoshi looking at Nieto adoringly in front of the crowd as he slips his hand under Monoma’s chin and brings their lips together. The students around you cheer, unruly.

Shinsou closes his eyes and winds his other hand around the nape of Monoma’s neck, bringing the blonde even closer. Monoma’s eyes are wide and unbelieving, but after a moment they slip close as he looses himself in the bliss of kissing his best friend. The whole room cheers and wolf whistles, but the two boys are seemingly in their own world. Shinsou kisses him again and again and again with no sign of letting up, turning the simple kiss into a full on make out session. Classes A and B are now absolutely rioting, and Shinsou takes a page out of Jirou’s book, lifting his hand to flip them all the bird as he slips his tongue into Monoma’s mouth.

“Alright you too – get a room! You’re allotted kiss time is up!” Mina calls out, tossing a throw pillow at the interlocked couple with precision. “And I said no tongue in the rules! Jeez!” They break apart in surprise and Shinsou spares her a glare over his shoulder before walking casually back into his seat. Monoma still looks like he might pass out, glancing around at them all nervously with a punch drunk expression. His eyes are unfocused and for once he’s blissfully silent. He makes his way back to his seat on wobbly legs, sinking into the floor next to Shinsou. Shinsou avoids eye contact with his friend, but throws an arm around his shoulders, holding him close.

Mina tries to spare their new friend some embarrassment and calls the attention back to herself. “Okay everyone, who’s next? Let me see…” She grabs the bottle and points it around the circle as if discerning the next player via witchcraft.

“Oh Tokoyamiiiii!” She sings as she once again catches the eye of Tokoyami. Damn girl is persistent. If it were possible for him to blush, his face would be bright red right now.

Tokoyami looks alarmed as Mina points directly at him. Dark Shadow on the other hand looks delighted. Tokoyami bats Dark Shadow’s pleading face away from him as he responds, “As I said before, I am perfectly content sitting this out.”

“Aw, Tokoyami…I insist! It’s just one little smooch from one of our fine classmates! Everyone here is so hot, you truly cannot lose.” Mina bats her eyes at him.

“Mina…” You whisper shout at her. “Mina don’t push anyone to do this. It’s challenge by choice, remember?”

Mina nods in your direction but continues to poke at Tokoyami. “Dark Shadow seems interested! Why not just take a chance?” She wedels.

“Can we please, Fumikage?” Dark Shadow says hopefully. “I want us to join the game!”

Apparently Dark Shadow’s opinion holds a lot of weight here, becauseTokoyami finally sighs in resignation. He hangs his head low as he holds out a hand, palm open and waiting for the bottle.

“Yay!” Mina skips over and pulls him to the center of the circle, placing the large bottle squarely in his hand. She slinks back to the sidelines, watching eagerly as Tokoyami considers the bottle in his palm.

Dark Shadow buzzes exuberantly as he hovers over your classmate’s shoulder. The pair stares intently at the bottle as Tokoyami gives it a gentle spin. The crowd looks on silently, and you can hear the quiet scrape of the glass against the floor as it spins end over end. He closes his eyes, waiting to hear the bottle roll to a stop so he can meet his fate.

The glass slows to a stop, lurching a bit and rolling across the circle to point at Tsuyu Asui. Everyone gasps appreciatively and Tsu just lets out a feeble “Ribbit?”

“Ooo Tsu! You’ve been chosen!” Ochaco cheers loudest of all as she pushes Tsu up to stand. “Go on!”

Tokoyami cracks open an eye and stares at the bottle, and then at Tsu. Dark Shadow makes a squawky cheering noise and smiles widely. Meanwhile, the bird hero is standing rigid, arms glued to his sides as he steels himself for what’s to come.

The crowd claps enthusiastically as Tsu walks slowly to the center of the circle. She doesn’t look uncomfortable with all the attention – if anything, she’s looking a little intrigued. Tsu is always a steady, calming presence in your class. Tokoyami takes a few wary steps towards her, becoming more comfortable the closer he gets to her. They stand a foot apart, staring at each other.

“Well this certainly is interesting, ribbit. I honestly wasn’t planning to participate tonight.” She looks up at him with her wide froggy eyes and tilts her head to the side, waiting to see what he’ll do.

“I feel the same. I really wasn’t planning to be involved with this coming of age nonsense.” He sighs, glancing at Dark Shadow who’s hovering excitedly over his right shoulder. “But since it is you, I gladly accept my fate. I hold you in very high regard.”

Tsu lets out a sweet little “ribbit” and blushes. She’s wearing a cute green t-shirt and wide-legged jeans – overall she’s downright adorable. You’re certain that Tokoyami agrees, because Dark Shadow is staring at Tsu with heart eyes.

“You sure you’re okay with this, Tokoyami?” She asks, shuffling closer to him. Dark Shadow is practically vibrating with excitement overhead, hands over his mouth to keep from babbling at them.

“Yes. I find the terms of the game agreeable.” Tokoyami says, serious as ever. “Let’s do this.”

“Go on Tsu!” Ochaco calls out, clearly still tipsy off of her tiny cup of alcohol. “Kiss him!”

Tsu stands up on her toes and plants a virtuous smooch on Tokoyami’s beak. It’s swift and sweet and causes everyone to let out a little “awwww!” Tsu really is the cutest with her wide eyes and sweet smile.

Tsu blushes, Tokoyami looks frozen in place, and Dark Shadow cheers loudly over the din.

You start to wonder who has the bigger crush on Tsu here…Tokoyami or Dark Shadow? After a moment Tokoyami shakes his head a bit as if to clear out some cobwebs. He nods curtly to Tsu and mutters a barely audible “thank you,” causing her to blush more brightly.

Your eyes survey the crowed and everyone looks to be in good spirits, exciting to see their friends having fun in the game. The only one who looks out of place is – surprisingly – Kirishima. He’s got his arms crossed and is glaring at Mina, who’s waving to him flirtily from across the circle as she stands to scoop up the glass bottle. Huh. That can’t be good.

Your attention is drawn away from your red headed classmate as you watch Tokoyami and Tsu clear the center of the circle and return to their spots. Everyone continues to applaud until they resume their places – Tsu sitting next to Ochaco, Tokoyami returning to leaning against the doorway.

“Alright, now that was a truly thrilling pairing! Let’s see who we have next!” Mina surveys the crowd, searching through the upturned faces for her next victim. Finally, her dark eyes seem to land on who she was looking for because she instantly lights up. Her mouth settles into a wicked smile as she zeroes in on her prey.

“Ah, Todoroki! You’re up!” She calls out, pointing at him with the thick bottle. The room goes unexpectedly silent and Shoto looks at her with surprise. He’s not even sitting in the circle. He stands halfway between Momo and Tokoyami, clearly in the middle of a conversation with the former.

Shoto looks around, confused. As his head swivels around to survey the room full of watching faces, his sunglasses slip off of his head and fall to the ground. He reaches down to scoop them from the floor before hastily stuffing them into his back pocket. He looks both bewildered and lost.

“But I’m not in the circle.” He says blankly, blinking at her with Mina uncomprehendingly.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m tapping you in!” Mina says cheerfully, beckoning him to take her place. “I know your upbringing was a little unconventional given that your dad is the Number 2 hero, so we’ve gotta make up for lost time. You can’t miss out on this youthful right of passage!”

Shoto looks overwhelmed and doesn’t seem to know how to say no. He awkwardly shuffles to take Mina’s place in the center of the crowd. Your blood runs cold. For some reason you didn’t even consider the possibility of Shoto participating in Spin The Bottle. You figured he’d watch from the outskirts or be off chatting with some of your classmates. But now here he is – the unexpected center of attention in an outfit that makes him look like an absolute snack.

You glance around and see that most of the women on the room are gazing appreciatively at Shoto’s outfit as well. He’s absolutely beautiful – the way his pants support his round ass, the way his soft shirt stretches across the swell of his chest muscles. You wish you could claim him somehow…cover him in hickies or walk past him and muss up his hair. If only you could wrap your arms around him in front of everyone…you’re longing to do anything to declare him “mine!” resoundingly.

But that’s not how this works. And that’s not how this story gets to go.

All you can do is sit back on your heels and watch as Shoto spins the bottle.

Oh please pick me! Is all you can think, as he holds up the bottle in his delicate grasp. You pray and you beg and you bargain with the Spin the Bottle gods – hoping for some token of favor to be thrown your way. You can tell he’s trying not to glance your way as he sets the bottle in the center of the circle and gives it a rough spin.

The bottle turns around and around, the sound of rolling glass reverberating through the silent common room as it twists on the hardwood floor. Everyone seems to collectively hold their breath. Shoto might be the most attractive person in the hero course – all aristocratic breeding and soft hair. Who’s going to have the honor of kissing this demigod!?

When the bottle finally rolls to a stop, you can’t believe your eyes. For a brief moment, your heart swells when you think you’ve been chosen. But then your excitement quickly dissipates when you realize the bottle is pointing slightly to your right. Everyone’s head snaps up to see that it’s pointing at Fumiko Fujita, the girl from the General Studies Course.

Oh, crap.

“Oh!” She says nervously, a giggle bubbling up in her throat as she turns to look at Shoto through long eyelashes. You try not to glare daggers at her – she has absolutely no idea that you’ve been hooking up with Shoto. Also she’s nice! You had enjoyed her company so much earlier, and you can’t let yourself hate her for something out of her control. You can’t blame her for coincidentally being chosen as his spin the bottle partner!

But at the same time…the bottle was so close to pointing at you! You feel a deep ache at the unfairness of it all. Had the bottle listed a few centimeters in the other direction, it could have been you. It would have been a cosmic sign that the two of you were meant to be together, the Spin The Bottle gods covering you and Shoto in their favor. But unfortunately, that’s not how this is going to play out.

You want to reach for Shoto, to tell him that you very much do not want him kissing this girl! You bite your lip hard to keep yourself from saying something you might regret.

You take a few calming breaths and try to let it go, but the way she’s looking so pleased with herself is making you absolutely furious. She’s got an adorable blush spreading across her cheeks and she’s pulling at her light pink sweater sleeve absentmindedly, embarrassed.

Shoto stares at her blankly before turning to Mina. You can see that he’s silently begging her with his eyes to intervene. She shrugs and tilts her head at the General Studies Course girl, motioning for him to get it over with and just kiss her. Begrudgingly, he gets to his feet and shuffles towards her. You’re both pleased and annoyed to see that many of the other girls around the room are fixing Fujita girl with baleful gazes, no doubt envious of her position.

Shoto leans down, holding out a hand for the girl to take. She accepts his help, letting him delicately pull her to her feet. She can’t help the way that she’s smiling ear to ear as she stares down at her dainty hand in his.

Shoto stands a full head taller than Fujita. She looks so petite and delicate next to his muscled Pro-Hero body. For a moment you feel self-conscious about the bulky muscles you’ve been working to build up in the hero course. Next to this tiny General Studies Course girl, you must look like a hulking beast of mass. She’s so girly and sweet looking, and it’s not lost on you how good she looks with Shoto. It’s clear to everyone in the room that they would make an attractive couple.

Shoto glances quickly in your direction, but you doubt anyone else has noticed. They’re all to focused on this newcomer – no doubt wondering what her deal is and if she has a shot with Shoto.

“Are you alright with this?” Shoto asks her softly, and the girls around the room giggle at the sweetness of it. You note that he hasn’t dropped her hand, her tiny manicured fingers are encased in his strong grip. You zero in on her manicure – her nails are a deep navy blue. Coincidentally…one of Shoto’s favorite colors. Her nails match his stupid hot sweater.

“Yeah.” She says breathlessly, looking away before focusing her eyes on his lips. She uses her free hand to twist a lock of her hair around her fingers nervously. You practically roll your eyes, this girl really is pulling out all the stops. She’s a walking fuckin’ cliché.

“Okay.” Shoto whispers. He leans down slowly to plant a soft kiss on her mouth. She cranes up her neck to meet him halfway, moving to her tiptoes so she can attempt to match his height. The kiss is chaste and only lasts a few seconds before Shoto pulls away. He drops the girl’s hand and makes a hasty retreat to the other side of the room. Despite the briefness of the interaction, Todoroki’s tender approach has left all the ladies swooning.

Even Kirishima is impressed, whispering “So manly!” under his breath. You laugh at this despite yourself, and watch as Shoto rejoins Momo and Tokoyami outside of the circle. The girl from General Studies retakes her seat, and babbles dreamily to Toru. The invisible girl is buzzing with excitement, nodding and waving her arms encouragingly as Fujita gushes about her big kiss with Todoroki.

There’s a strange mix of emotions rolling in your gut – jealousy of the girl Shoto got to kiss publically, gratitude that he kept it short. You wish that he would have just kissed her on the cheek. You know that if he had kept it simple, Mina and the crowd definitely would have pressured him into doing more. You have a sour taste in your mouth about the game now – the pressure and the stakes seem so high for something meant to be fun and silly.

You shoot a jealous look at Fujita. You wish that you could be gushing right now to everyone about how wonderful and hot Shoto Todoroki is. You want everyone to know that he’s shared your bed and held you, that you two have been intimately entangled. You want to brag and blush and make the Support Course girl as jealous of you as you currently are of her.

You wonder what Shoto is thinking, how he’s feeling. You look over at him and your eyes meet across the room, a chasm between you. You want to run over to him and ask for reassurance – are you a better kisser? Did he enjoy it with her? He’d rather be with you, right? But obviously you stay where you are. His face is impassive as usual; he tilts his head to consider you before he turns back to his conversation. You notice the sunglasses poking out of his back pocket, forgotten.

Everyone has resumed chatting and there’s a steady hum of babble in the room. The room is buzzing with excitement and giggles about game. Your classmates are eyeing Mina eagerly, wondering who will be up next.

You glance up at Mina who is sitting beside you. You become startled when you realize that she’s staring at you with a funny look on her face. She reaches over to grab your arm. “Hey, Y/N. You okay!?” She takes in your stony expression and shakes you for a moment.

“Wha - ? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” You plaster a smile on your face. “Dang this game is a rollercoaster.” Your expression turns stormy as you remember the way she pushed Tokoyami and Shoto to participate against their wishes. “But don’t push people so hard – this is supposed to be fun. You can’t force people to do whatever you want.” You scold.

She shrugs and gives you a knowing half smile. “Sometimes people need a little push!” She starts to notice the room getting quieter as everyone waits for her to call out the next participant. “Speaking of which…you’re next!”

You look up in surprise as the crowd around you cheers and starts to chant your name encouragingly. Mina scoops up the bottle off the floor and holds it out to you expectantly.

“Come on, Y/N!”

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!” Your friends chant around you.

You can practically feel Shoto’s gaze burning into your back as you stare down that problematic glass bottle.

Shit.

End of Chapter 7

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Links To All The Previous Parts:

Part 1: Linked Here

Part 2: Linked Here

Part 3: Linked Here

Part 4: Linked Here

Part 5: Linked Here

Part 6: Linked Here

My Master List

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Author Notes:

It's me! Hi! I'm the author, it's me!

Yesssss sir we're so back!

I'm gonna be honest, I hope that people aren't disappointed with the lack of smut in this chapter! I promise that the world/plot building will absolutely DELIVER in Chapter 8 with a steamy scene - trust meeee ;)

What I want you to take away from this chapter as a reader - this story is about relationships and connection. I think this chap shows that friendships can come from the unlikeliest of places! Like Monoma is fully integrated into the gal squad - who would have expected that!? We're also starting to see some different sides of characters come to light - we see a more toxic side of Mina, we see Shoto becoming more comfortable and soft with the Reader, we also see Hitoshi become more confident among his peer group and show affection towards Monoma. I plan to build on these tiny developments in the next chapter or so!

I also hope y'all enjoyed the little cameos from other UA characters and ships. Tokoyami x Tsu isn't really a ship of mine but I thought it could be a fun little moment for the chat. (I LOVE Dark Shadow so honestly this bit was all for HIM).

Also please please PLEASE can someone set their Wifi name to be EijirosThiccBootyCheeks. I swear I would SCREAM.

I have most of Chapter 8 planned out so hoping to turn things around a little faster this time!

Stay safe and enjoy the holidays!

XOXO,

RedRiotUnbreakableHeart ❤️

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❄️🔥THE ICYTHOTS🔥❄️

Want to join or be removed from the tag list - let me know! Once again, this is an ADULT ONLY blog. The IcyThot club is exclusively dedicated to the Shoto's First Kiss series and will only include A18+. Do not request to be added unless you are over 18. If your blog is ageless/your age isn't listed in the bio you cannot be an IcyThot member! I'm also adding the "sexual content" label/tags.

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jksarchives · 2 months ago

Text

THE SIX STAGES OF A BREAK-UP │06

➪ PAIRING; jungkook x reader

➪ GENRE; lovers to strangers, angst

➪ WC; 13.2k

✎ series masterlist

6. MOVING FORWARD

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔

▍3 JANUARY 2022 — [four months before break-up]

It was 8 p.m., and the office was finally quiet. Jungkook sat back in his leather chair, rubbing his temples in an effort to ease the pounding headache that had been creeping in since noon. His eyes, bloodshot from staring at spreadsheets and contracts, drifted to the clock on the wall. He exhaled a heavy sigh — it had been another grueling day.

It had only been a little over a month since he’d taken over his father’s company, and yet every day felt like a battle.

His father had built the business from the ground up, pouring decades of his life into it, but age was catching up. The old man had wanted to rest, to finally enjoy the fruits of his labor, but Jungkook wasn’t ready just yet. He had always known the day would come, but nothing could have prepared him for the sheer magnitude of the role.

He anticipated the moment but it was all too sudden. He even expressed it to his father, that he needed more time to prepare for the future responsibilities, but his father said he was more than ready and that he trusted him.

Although his father now rested, free from the burdens of leadership, Jungkook felt anything but relaxed. The employees, the shareholders, his family — they all looked to him for leadership, for vision. And while he knew he must rise to the challenge, the exhaustion from weeks of non-stop work was starting to take its toll.

Jungkook’s stomach growled softly, reminding him of his hunger. He hadn’t eaten since a hasty breakfast that morning, too consumed by meetings, calls, and the endless sea of decisions he had to make. He ran a hand through his tousled hair as he sighed deeply, his body and mind exhausted.

Gathering the scattered papers into a semblance of order, he stood up and stretched his stiff body. He then shrugged into his tailored suit jacket that hung behind his chair and grabbed his briefcase. The once-pristine office, which now felt like a second home, was darkened except for the soft glow of his desk lamp. He lazily flipped it off and plunged the room into darkness.

Walking through the empty corridors, he passed the row of cubicles that would be full the next morning. But for now, the place felt like a ghost town, echoing only the sound of his footsteps on the polished floor. He moved quickly, eager to go home and bury himself in your embrace.

The underground parking lot greeted him with its cool, dim air. There, in his reserved spot, sat the gleaming Hyundai car — the latest model, fresh off the production line one. It was a gift from his father, presented on the day he’d officially handed over the reins of the company. A subtle reminder of the legacy he was expected to uphold.

He unlocked the car with a touch, and the sleek doors opened silently. With a tired grunt, he tossed his briefcase into the empty passenger seat.

He was about to circle around to the driver’s side when his phone began to ring, its insistent vibration coming from his pocket. Pausing, he fished for it, fingers fumbling for a moment before pulling it free.

The screen glowed with a picture of him as a child, smiling widely, while his father held him upside down. Jungkook groaned inwardly, contemplating ignoring the call. He was exhausted, physically and mentally, and he knew what his father wanted would likely add to his already full plate. But he couldn’t ignore it.

Sliding his thumb across the screen, he answered, pressing the phone to his ear as he walked toward the driver’s side door.

“Hey dad,” he said, trying to sound more energetic than he felt.

“Jungkook, son, did you just finish work?” he asked, his voice booming through the phone.

“Yeah, I have, why?” he asked back, pulling the door open and slipping into the driver's seat.

“I want you to come over for dinner tonight. There’s someone me and your mother want you to meet” he said, more like a command.

Jungkook grimaced, leaning his head back against the leather seat. His body ached for rest, and his thoughts immediately jumped to you, who was probably at home waiting for him. You both planned to spend the evening together, something he rarely got to do with you with his hectic schedule.

“Dad,” Jungkook started, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s been a long day. I’m exhausted, and Y/n is waiting for me at home. Can we please do this another night?” he requested.

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, a pause that Jungkook recognised all too well. It was the silence before the storm, the moment his father weighed the pros and cons before insisting on getting his way.

“Jungkook,” his father said, his voice firm but not unkind.

“This is important, and your mother and I need you to be here” he told him. Jungkook closed his eyes and leaned his body forward, resting his head against the steering wheel for a moment.

He loved his father, respected him more than anyone, but the man had a way of disregarding boundaries, especially when it came to family matters. There was no room for negotiation when his father had his mind set on something. And if it was a family dinner, Jungkook knew there was no escaping it.

“I just…” Jungkook began, but he knew it was futile. His father wasn’t asking; he was telling him.

“Who is it that I’m supposed to meet?” he asked, his tone resigned.

“You’ll see when you get here. Now, don’t keep us waiting, we’re all here” his father replied cryptically.

Jungkook groaned softly, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn��t have the energy for this tonight, not after the day he’d had, but refusing his father was never really an option. His grip tightened on the steering wheel as he thought about how to tell you about all this. You had been looking forward to a quiet night, just the two of you.

“Alright, I’ll be there,” Jungkook said, his voice heavy with reluctance.

“Good man. See you soon” his father said with a satisfied tone.

When the line went dead, Jungkook growled in frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. Instead of starting the car, he dialed your number, and it rang twice before you picked up.

“Hey, babe,” your soft voice came through the line, a contrast to the blunt conversation he just had with his father. Your voice was the sound he’d been looking forward to hearing all day.

“Hi baby” he greeted, trying to match your tone.

“Listen,” he sighed.

“Dad just called, and he wants me to come over for dinner. There’s someone who he wants me to meet apparently” he said guiltily.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. He knew you were processing the disappointment. You had been looking forward to having him home, just as much as he had.

“Jungkook, you’ve been at the office all day. Can’t you just tell him no, just this once?” your voice was a little firmer now.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I tried. You know how he is. He insisted” he said.

You exhaled sharply, and Jungkook could picture you standing in the kitchen, staring out the window with that look of quiet frustration you often got when it came to his family.

“I’m sorry babe. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I’ll try not to be long” he said softly, his voice almost a whisper.

You were silent for a moment before responding, your tone softer now.

“I get it Kook. I just miss you, that’s all. But go. Do what you need to do. I’ll see you when you get home” you said.

“Thank you,” he said, relieved but still feeling the weight of your disappointment.

“I love you, okay?” he then told you.

“I love you too,” you replied before the line went dead.

Jungkook sat in the empty car park for a long minute, staring at his phone. Then, he simply sighed and tossed his phone on the side of the empty passenger seat.

Soon he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. His father’s house wasn’t far, but each passing mile felt like a weight pressing down on him, pulling him further from the rest and peace he craved.

Who would’ve known the night was the starting point of the change in the trajectory of his life?

┄┄┄┄┄

When Jungkook finally pulled up to the large, stately house he grew up in, he hesitated for a moment. He had a spare key, one his parents insisted he keep even after moving out years ago, but the idea of using it felt strange tonight. He was too tired for surprises. Still, he took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.

The house was warm and inviting, just as it always had been. Without knocking, he slipped the key into the lock and let himself in, immediately hearing the sound of laughter coming from the dining room.

Jungkook frowned. It wasn’t just his parents — there were others there too. He could hear multiple voices, the clinking of plates and glasses, the unmistakable murmuring of conversation. His exhaustion deepened. All he wanted was to grab a quick bite and head home, not engage in pleasantries with strangers.

As he entered the dining room, he froze in the doorway, taking in the scene before him. His father sat at the head of the table, his mother next to him, both looking at ease and cheerful. But it was the three other figures at the table that made him pause. His eyes narrowed as he tried to make sense of the situation.

The three guests turned their heads toward him, and in that instant, recognition flooded through him like a shockwave. The woman sitting closest to his father — her long dark hair, the familiar way she smiled — was Aera, with her parents.

His childhood friend. Aera, who he hadn’t seen in over a decade, since she had moved to London to study when they were just teenagers. And somehow she happened to settle there instead of coming back to Korea.

For a moment, Jungkook was silently frozen. The last time he had seen Aera was at a hurried farewell party. Though they were that close, only knowing each other through their fathers’ close friendship, the two of them promised to stay in touch. But deep down they know that their lives were headed in different directions.

Now, here she was, sitting at his parents’ dinner table, looking not much different from the girl he remembered, yet somehow more grown, more composed.

“Aera?” he finally managed to say as he walked further into the room.

Aera smiled warmly, standing up from her seat. “Jungkook!” she said, her voice cheerful and familiar, as if no time had passed at all.

“It’s been a long time, oh my god” she jumped up from her seat and pulled him into a crushing hug.

Jungkook blinked, his mind racing to catch up with the moment. But he hugged her back. The exhaustion that had weighed him down just minutes ago seemed to vanish, replaced by a strange mix of surprise and curiosity.

Why was Aera here, of all places? Why now, after all these years?

His father cleared his throat, standing up as well. “I thought it was time for a reunion” he said, a sly smile on his face.

Everything then onwards seemed to be a blur.

Jungkook knew the dinner wasn’t just a simple get-together. It was something more deliberate, something he could feel from the way his father’s comments circled subtly around the idea of him and Aera.

The conversation kept drifting back to Aera, as if the evening was meant to highlight her every accomplishment. His father spoke of her warmth, her intelligence, her success — traits Jungkook was all too aware his father admired.

And more than once, there was the faintest suggestion, not quite spoken aloud, but there nonetheless, that Jungkook and Aera were somehow meant to be. Completely disregarding you.

Jungkook would shoot his father a sidelong glance, but said nothing, biting back the urge to call out the subtle manipulation. He had always been close with his father, but this was crossing a line. The idea that his father might be trying to steer him towards Aera, despite knowing about his relationship with you, made him uneasy.

Jungkook’s father had always shown respect towards you even though it was clear that he would have preferred someone with more connections or influence.

Jungkook couldn’t help but feel irritated by it. His father knew how serious you both were, and he had always stayed out of his romantic life. That was one area Jungkook had always controlled, and his father had respected that boundary.

Until now, apparently.

━━━━━━━━━━

▌5 MARCH 2022 — [two months before break-up]

Jungkook stood frozen in front of his parents, his chest heaving as he tried to process the words that had just been spoken. His father's voice echoed in his head, replaying over and over again like a cruel joke he couldn't escape. Disbelief mingled with anger, knotting his stomach into tight coils.

His father sat across from him, arms crossed with a hardened expression, his jaw set in determination. There was no softness in his father's eyes, no understanding of the emotional storm he had just unleashed. It was as if his father had made up his mind, convinced that what he was asking — no, demanding — was the right course for his son.

“You’ll marry Aera and it’s final. It’s what’s best for the family, and our company” he declared, his voice firm, unwavering, as if it were the most reasonable decision in the world.

“Best for the family? The company?” Jungkook was seething with rage, “what about what’s best for me?” he raised his voice as he jabbed his index finger to his chest.

The years of respect he had for his son’s boundaries when it came to his love life and the respect he had for you went completely down the drain. Discarded and forgotten.

“And what about Y/n, huh?” he spat, his voice trembling with both rage.

“I’ve been with her for ten years, dad! Ten goddamn years! How could you and Mr Kim even think of something like this? How could you expect me to break my ten years worth of love with her so easily?” he raged.

For the ten years Jungkook’s parents had known you for, you both spent holidays together, shared dinners, and talked about the future like any normal couple.

His father had never been overly affectionate towards you, but he had always treated you with respect — like he respected Jungkook’s decision to be with you. Jungkook had always appreciated that, thinking his father might have had his doubts but, at least, he accepted your relationship.

Now, standing in the living room, the place where so many warm memories had been made, Jungkook felt like a stranger. His father had just shattered the illusion of acceptance. He couldn’t understand why now, after a decade of silence, his father was suddenly pushing him toward Aera, of all people.

Jungkook barely remembered beyond the fuzzy memories of childhood birthday parties and awkward adolescent gatherings. She moved out of the country over ten years ago and never remained in contact with him. Until now.

He then turned his gaze to his mother, hoping — praying — that she would say something, that she would step in and stop this madness. But she stood there, silent and passive, her eyes downcast, refusing to meet his gaze. His heart sank as he realized she wouldn’t fight for him, wouldn’t stand up to his father on his behalf.

“Mom,” Jungook’s voice cracked, pleading, as he took a step toward her, his hands shaking with desperation.

“Say something. Please” he begged.

But she didn’t. Her lips parted slightly, as if she wanted to speak, but no words came. Her silence felt like a betrayal, a quiet acceptance of his father’s will.

Jungkook was expected to marry Aera, not out of love, but out of duty. Duty to the family. Duty to the company. Duty to some archaic notion of loyalty between two families that meant nothing to Jungkook.

But what about his duty to himself? To you? To the woman he loved more than anything in this world? How could they expect him to throw away a decade of love and commitment, to break your heart just because his father wanted an alliance with an old friend?

“Why now?” he then questioned, frowning. It was a question he couldn’t hold back from asking.

“Why wait all these years?” he asked. His father remained composed, though there was a tension in his shoulders that Jungkook had rarely seen before.

“I know you love Y/n. But Aera…Aera is family. Her father and I have always had a bond, and when she came back to Korea, it felt like an opportunity. She’s a good girl, Jungkook. She’s everything we’ve wanted for you — someone with your values, someone who understands where you come from” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Jungkook’s blood boiled. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Someone with your values, dad, not mine!” his voice rose, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“This isn’t about me. This is about you and what you want, not about what I want, or what I’ve already built with Y/n” he said.

His father exhaled sharply, his calm facade cracking slightly.

“Jungkook, listen to me, I’m saying that maybe this is a sign-” he tried to explain but was cut off.

“A sign of what?” Jungkook shot back, incredulous.

“A sign that you can try and control my life after a decade of staying out of it? A sign that you’re willing to throw away everything I’ve worked for because you think Aera is more suitable for me on paper?” he gritted his teeth.

The room felt suffocating. His mother, still silent, shifted slightly in her seat, her hands wringing together as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Jungkook wished she would speak up, say something to stop this madness, but deep down, he knew she wouldn’t.

“No,” Jungkook said, his voice firm, though it trembled with emotion.

“I’m not doing this. I love Y/n, and I’m not going to betray her just because you think it’s ‘what’s best for the family.’ This isn’t the middle ages, dad. I’m not some pawn in your game” he said.

Jungkook’s father’s face darkened, his brows knitting together as his jaw tightened even further. “You don’t understand — this is bigger than you” he told him.

“I don’t care!” Jungkook exploded, his voice rising, filled with a fury that shook the room.

“I’m not going to throw away my life, my happiness, for your old friendships or your ideas of what’s right. Y/n is my future, not Aera” he confirmed.

And having said that, he abruptly stood up and grabbed his car keys from the table before storming out of the house.

┄┄┄┄┄

The next day, Jungkook sat at his desk as he flipped through the pages of the latest quarterly report.

Suddenly, the door creaked open without a knock. Jungkook’s eyes darted up, narrowing when he saw who stood there.

Mr Kim, his father’s best friend, strolled in with a broad smile that barely masked the tension behind it. Walking closely beside him was a woman Jungkook recognised as Mr Kim’s assistant, holding a tablet in her hand, her posture stiff and professional.

“Jungkook, my boy,” Mr Kim greeted, his voice warm, almost too friendly.

Jungkook, still seated, forced his lips into a tight smile. His fingers clenched the report a little too firmly before he set it down on the desk.

“Mr Kim,” he said, his voice composed but cold beneath the surface.

“What a surprise”

Mr Kim took no time in making himself comfortable, lowering himself into one of the plush leather chairs opposite Jungkook’s desk. Jungkook’s fake smile remained frozen, but the tightness in his jaw betrayed him. He didn't want to play host today, not to this man.

Mr Kim leaned back in the chair, crossing one leg over the other casually as though he owned the place. “You know, Jungkook, we haven’t talked properly at dinner at your parents’ house. After everything with your father, I thought I should come by and—”

Jungkook cut him off before he could finish, leaning forward slightly in his chair. “What brings you here, Mr Kim?” he asked, his tone polite but edged with impatience.

He tried to sound as nice as possible, but his attempt at warmth felt hollow even to his own ears. He knew why Mr Kim was here, but he wanted to hear it straight from him.

Mr Kim’s smile faltered for a brief second, the casual pleasantries abandoned. His eyes darkened slightly as he shifted forward, elbows resting on the armrests, fingers tapping together in a steeple.

“I heard,” he began slowly, his voice now lacking the jovial tone from earlier, “that you rejected to marry my daughter”.

The room seemed to grow cold, and his assistant glanced nervously at her tablet, as if searching to occupy herself with. Mr Kim’s smile had disappeared entirely now, replaced by a hard, unreadable expression.

“You know,” his tone now low and almost threatening, “this decision of yours... it’s not something I’m happy about. Not at all” he said.

Jungkook met his gaze, refusing to back down. He knew this wouldn’t go over well, but he had made his choice long ago. He wasn’t about to be bullied into marrying someone he didn’t love, not even for the sake of the company.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Jungkook said, though his tone lacked any real sympathy. “But my answer is final”.

Jungkook leaned back in his chair as his fingers instinctively tapped the armrest, carefully choosing his next words. “I didn’t think it was the right decision — for either of us”.

Mr Kim’s lips pressed into a thin line, and his eyes darkened with anger. “Not the right decision?” he repeated, his tone growing harder.

“Your father and I had plans, Jungkook. We always wanted this for our families. You and Aera…it was supposed to be the perfect union. Secure the future of both of our legacies” he tried to explain.

Jungkook’s stomach twisted in irritation. This was exactly why he had never been fond of his father’s friend. Everything with him was business, a transaction. Even marriage.

He could still remember his father’s long talks about alliances and the importance of keeping the company strong, of doing whatever it took to protect their name. But Jungkook had never wanted his life mapped out by others, especially not when it involved marrying someone he didn’t love, just for the sake of a merger.

“I understand that’s what you and my father wanted,” Jungkook said carefully, forcing himself to stay calm, “but I have to make my own choices now. I’m not going to marry your daughter just because it suits the company”.

Jungkook let out a frustrated sigh before continuing, “and besides, I have a girlfriend of ten years. And I don’t plan to marry anyone else but her. I hope you and my father could at least respect that” he told him.

The corner of Mr Kim’s lips twitched as he tried to contain his fury. “I see,” he muttered as he leaned back against the chair.

“You’re just like your father in some ways, but in others…you’re completely different” he said.

Jungkook said nothing. His face was masked with professionalism, but deep down, a part of him bristled at the comparison. He was not his father, and he never would be.

Mr Kim rose from his seat slowly, his assistant stepping forward to escort him out. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” he said quietly, his voice filled with a warning. “This decision…it’s going to have consequences” he voiced out.

Jungkook’s face remained stoic, though his heart picked up its pace as the old man’s words. Was he threatening him?

“I’m prepared for them” he replied with a nod nevertheless. He knew there would be repercussions for defying Mr Kim, but he wasn’t about to back down.

Mr Kim raised his brow and a sly smirk curled at the corner of his mouth, while his eyes glinted with something dangerous.

“Really? Anything” he asked with his mocking tone. He paused for a moment, letting the word linger as if savoring it.

“Because I don’t think you fully understand what ‘anything’ entails” he said. Jungkook’s stomach tightened, but he remained silent, waiting for the inevitable threat.

“You see, Jungkook,” Mr Kim continued, his voice almost a whisper now as he sat back down on the chair.

“I have the power to ruin this company — your father’s legacy — and more than that…” he leaned forward, his eyes locking with Jungkook’s, the malice in his voice unmistakable.

“I can destroy your little girlfriend and her parents, too. They wouldn't survive the fallout if I decided to take action” he threatened.

“It would be such a shame, wouldn’t it? Watching them suffer” he played with his words.

Jungkook’s heart dropped into his stomach, and he felt his breath get stuck in his throat. Mr Kim had gone straight for the jugular. His eyes widened slightly, and despite himself, he felt panic rising in his chest.

His father’s company was one thing, and he could care less about it, but to drag the woman he loved — and your family — into this? That was a new low, even for someone like Mr Kim.

Mr Kim noticed Jungkook’s reaction, his smirk growing wider. “Oh, I see that it struck a nerve,” he said as his voice dripped with satisfaction.

“Yes, Jungkook. I know all about your little girlfriend. And her family. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to them, would you?” he tilted his head slightly.

Jungkook’s chest heaved with fury, and his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white. The thought of him dragging the people he cared about into this made his blood boil. He glared at Mr Kim, and his breathing grew heavier with each passing second.

“Don’t you dare,” he growled, his voice low and filled with venom.

Mr Kim’s smirk never wavered. If anything, it deepened as he watched Jungkook struggle to contain his rage. He had gotten under his skin, and he enjoyed every second of it. He leaned back in his chair, looking as if he had already won.

“Think about it, Jungkook,” he said, “you don’t want to make this harder than it needs to be” he suggested mockingly.

Jungkook’s fists slammed down on the desk with a loud thud, and the force of it shook the papers scattered around him. He stood abruptly and leaned over the desk, looming over the old man with fury blazing in his eyes.

“I said,” he growled through gritted teeth, “don’t you dare” he repeated.

Mr Kim leaned in to narrow the distance, his eyes never leaving the younger’s. “Then I suggest you reconsider the marriage if you want to keep them safe. Break up with your girlfriend, marry my daughter, and we can all avoid any...unpleasantness” he said.

Jungkook’s entire body was taut with tension. His chest heaved with the effort to control himself, but it was no use. He slammed his fists down on the desk one again, but there were no words coming out of him.

Mr Kim then stood slowly, brushing off his suit as though the conversation had been nothing more than an inconvenience.

“I’ll give you some time to think about it,” he said with a smug smile. “But don’t take too long. The clock is ticking” he said, mimicking the sound of a clock.

And with that, he turned and strolled out of the office, his assistant following silently behind. When the door clicked shut, Jungkook was left standing there, breathing hard, fists still clenched. His mind raced as he struggled to calm the storm of rage and fear boiling inside him.

For the first time in years, Jungkook felt powerless — and that scared him more than anything. He didn’t want to lose you. But at the same time, he couldn’t let anything happen to you or your family.

━━━━━━━━━━

▌31 MAY 2022 — [day of break-up]

Jungkook sat alone in his office, staring blankly at the paperwork piled on his desk, the ticking clock on the wall the only sound in the room. Over a month had passed since Mr Kim had walked in through that very door and flipped his world upside down.

Jungkook had tried to remain composed, but his mind had raced with questions. What kind of power did Mr Kim have? How could a man like him hold such leverage over people’s lives?

Jungkook hadn’t known, but the look in that old man’s eyes told him that he wasn’t bluffing. There was a malice behind his words, a promise that he could and would follow through on his threats if Jake didn’t comply.

Jungkook was terrified, and he had spent sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do. He tried to maintain some semblance of normalcy in the days following Mr Kim’s threat, but his efforts were in vain. He had grown distant, pulling away from you, retreating into himself.

He knew you noticed — of course, you had. You were too attuned to him not to see the change, the way he had stopped holding you as tightly at night, how his once carefree laughter had become forced and hollow.

Every time you tried to talk to him about the turmoil he was going through, he could do nothing but lie to your face.

The worst part was knowing that if he told you the truth, you wouldn’t back down. You would fight. You weren’t someone who ran from a challenge; you were strong, fierce when it came to protecting the people you loved.

Jungkook knew that if you found out what Mr Kim had threatened, you would confront him without hesitation, and that scared Jungkook more than anything. Because it would only make things worse.

Mr Kim wasn’t the kind of man you could outsmart or intimidate. Jungkook didn’t doubt that if you stood up to him, he would follow through on his threat, and your family would pay the price.

So, Jungkook said nothing. He kept his distance, convincing himself it was for your sake, for the sake of your parents, who had always treated him like a son.

But the silence was suffocating him. Every time he looked at you, his heart broke a little more. You didn’t deserve this. You deserved the truth, but Jungkook couldn’t give it to you, no matter how much it killed him to withhold it.

He had to keep you and your family safe. Even if it meant sacrificing the decade of love and memories you both created.

He had cried in silence more than once, tears of frustration and helplessness spilling out when he was alone. He would hide in the bathroom or stay late at work, waiting until the office was empty so no one could hear him. In those moments, he felt like he was coming apart at the seams, torn between his love for you and the fear that, if he stayed with you, he would be the reason your family was destroyed.

Jungkook didn’t know how to break up with you.

How do you destroy ten years of love, of memories, with a few words? How do you look someone in the eyes and tell them that everything you had together has to end, even when it’s the last thing you want?

He had rehearsed it in his mind a hundred times, but every time he imagined saying the words, they caught in his throat, too painful to speak aloud.

You deserved better than this shadow of a man he had become, a man trapped by fear and threats. But Jungkook didn’t know how to let you go without shattering both of your hearts in the process. The weight of it all — the lies, the distance, the inevitable heartbreak — was crushing him.

All he knew was that, sooner or later, he would have to make a choice. Either he would find the courage to tell you the truth and risk the consequences, or he would have to sever the bond between you, leaving behind the only person who had ever made him feel truly whole. And in either case, he feared that he would never be the same again.

His movements were slowly and sluggish as he picked himself up. Without tidying his desk, he simply turned off the desk lamp and grabbed his phone and briefcase before heading out of the office building.

As he drove home, his hands shook, and his heart raced as he prepared for what he had to say. He knew you, who trusted him so deeply, wouldn’t understand. You’d demand answers, try to fix whatever was wrong, but he had to stay strong. He couldn’t let you see the truth behind his decision.

Jungkook chose a brutal path that night. He fabricated lies, told you that he had fallen out of love with a woman he didn’t specify. And as expected, you were stunned and heartbroken. You tried to reason with him, to find some explanation for his sudden change. But Jungkook pushed you harder, saying things he didn’t mean.

“How can you just fall out of love Jungkook? We’ve been together for ten fucking years!” you spoke through your sobs. Your eyes were puffy and bloodshot, nose red and cheeks damp from the continuous tears.

‘I’m sorry baby, I didn't want any of this to happen’ he badly wanted to say. But he couldn’t.

Jungkook wanted to cry. He had wanted to scream, to take it all back and tell you the truth. He wanted to hold you, wipe away your tears, and tell you he loved you more than anything in the world. But he couldn’t.

Moving out of the house you both shared only plunged him deeper into hell.

In the days that followed, Jungkook found himself drowning in pain of heartbreak. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw you — your smile, your touch, the way you used to make him feel whole.

But then it would quickly switch to your hysterically crying form, where he couldn’t comfort you for the first time. And it tore him.

The silence of his new apartment was unbearable, a constant reminder of what he had lost. His heart ached with a deep longing for your presence and your warmth. The nights were the worst. Without you beside him, and without your comforting embrace, sleep became impossible. The bed felt cold and foreign without you in it.

He missed everything about you. He missed the little things — the way you absentmindedly played with your hair when you were thinking, the sound of your voice when you called his name, the scent of your skin when you rested against him.

He had given all of that up to protect you, but in doing so, he had broken his own heart beyond repair.

He often found himself staring at his phone, wanting to call you, to tell you the truth, to explain why he had done what he did. But he knew he couldn’t. If he reached out, if he tried to bring you back into his life, Me Kim’s threats would become reality. You would suffer because of his selfishness, and that was something he could never allow.

Jungkook was trapped in a prison of his own making — one where the love of his life was just out of reach, and he was powerless to change it. Every day felt like a new kind of torture, and the more time passed, the more he wondered if he would ever be able to move on, or if he had doomed himself to a life of loneliness and regret.

┄┄┄┄┄

One thing Jungkook knew after everything that had happened was that his relationship with his parents was never the same.

He stopped visiting home, stopped answering their calls, and distanced himself from their world. He had been straying away from his family’s expectations for years, but this was the final break. Now, the only time he interacted with them was when public appearances made it unavoidable — dinners with influential families, charity events, or any occasion that required the “perfect family” facade.

As far as they were concerned, this was the life he was supposed to lead — marry the right woman, cement the right alliances, and protect the family’s legacy. Jungkook knew that in their eyes, his feelings didn’t matter. He was just a piece in a much larger game.

Anything and everything he did after the break-up was against his will, like the Instagram post of him and Aera posing her hands to announce their engagement.

Aera, meanwhile, was oblivious to the entire situation. She was sweet, and had always had a crush on Jungkook when they were young, but he never saw her that way. Mr Kim had made sure his daughter knew nothing about the threats or the manipulation. To Aera, it seemed like fate that Jungkook had suddenly developed feelings for her.

But Jungkook felt sick every time he had to pretend to care, to smile when she called or laugh at her jokes. But he had no choice. Her father was always watching, always making sure Jungkook played his part.

In public, Jungkook acted like the perfect partner, attending events with Aera, taking her out for dinners, and holding her hand when people were around. But behind closed doors, he was consumed with guilt and despair. Every time Aera smiled at him, it was like a reminder of the life he had thrown away, the love he had shattered to protect the woman he truly cared about. You.

He knew you were watching — the news, the wedding, everything — and he knew for a fact that it only added salt to your wounds. Knowing you for years, he knew you were probably locked away in your house crying your eyes and heart out. The thought of it all was killing him. He longed to run back and tell you the truth, to somehow find a way to stop Mr Kim, but he couldn’t.

It was all over. And he was helpless.

But the least he knew was that you and your family were going to be safe.

━━━━━━━━━━

▌PRESENT

Aera stood frozen with mouth hung open in shock, eyes wide and brimming with tears that threatened to spill over. Jungkook stared at her with emotions she couldn’t clearly read, but pain was one of the apparent.

“I never wanted this, Aera!” he yelled, his hands flailing in frustration. “Do you understand that? I never wanted to marry you!” his face flushed with anger, his voice raw and filled with venom.

“I was forced, Aera,” Jungkook continued.

“Your father threatened me. He threatened my girlfriend, threatened her family. He said he’d ruin their lives if I didn’t marry you” his voice then slowly started to break with the weight of the secret he had carried for so long.

“Ten years, Aera! Ten years of my life wasted! He ruined everything. I had to give up the woman I loved, destroy the relationship I had built, all to keep your father’s threats at bay!” Jungkook’s voice rose again, louder, more desperate.

Aera’s heart cracked at the sound of his anguish. She wanted to reach out to him, to hold him, but her body remained rooted to the spot, helpless and ashamed.

It was in this moment that everything clicked into place, the final piece of the puzzle snapping together with sickening clarity. The memory of a few hours ago rushed back, hitting her like a freight train. The look on Jungkook’s face when you collapsed, the panic and worry that had gripped him — it all made sense now.

He still loved you.

Jungkook was shaken to his core when you fainted in his arms. Aera saw it in his eyes but hadn't understood the depth of it at the time. He had stood there frozen, as if seeing a ghost from the past he had tried so hard to bury. Aera was confused, jealous even, but she didn’t press him on it.

Aera knew about it not too long ago, but she only knew you as a girlfriend Jungkook broke up with a long time ago. But now, it was clear — his concern wasn’t just for an ex-girlfriend he broke up with. It was for the woman he had once loved — still loved — the woman he had been forced to abandon.

Tears streamed down her face, but she barely noticed. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest, her mind racing to catch up with everything Jake had revealed. “Jungkook,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t…I never-” she still tried to find her voice, and Jungkook’s bitter laugh cut her off.

“Of course you didn’t know. Your father made sure of that. He manipulated everything, every part of our lives, so you would never suspect a thing. I was trapped. I had no choice” he told her. The pain in his voice was raw, and Aera’s tears fell harder.

Jungkook turned away from her as he ran his finger through his already tousled hair, his eyes rapidly blinking as if he’s trying to control his tears.

“I didn’t want this to happen, but fuck! I didn’t want anything to happen to her or her family either” his voice trembled.

All these years, she had been completely in the dark, living in a carefully constructed lie. Her father. He had done this. He had used her as a pawn in his twisted game, manipulating Jungkook, ruining lives, all to maintain control. Aera’s body shook as the truth unraveled before her, too much to bear all at once.

Jungkook then whipped back around to face her, still yelling and pouring out his rage.

“Do you know what it feels like to look at you every day and be reminded of everything I lost? I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard to make this work, to forget what he did, but I can’t! I can’t forgive him for taking away my choice. I can’t forgive you for being part of it, whether you knew it or not” he ranted.

Aera wanted to scream, to tell him she had no idea, and that she was as much a victim as he was. But the words stuck in her throat, choked by the overwhelming pain and confusion. Her hands came up to her face, covering her mouth, as if that could somehow contain the sobs that were building inside her. She loved Jungkook, she believed that their marriage, despite its challenges, had been real.

But it wasn’t real. It had never been real. Everything she thought they had shared was based on a lie, a lie orchestrated by her father’s greed and control. And Jungkook…he hated her for it. All this time, he had hated her.

The tears flowed freely now, unstoppable, and Aera’s knees finally buckled as she crumbled to the floor. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to find some semblance of comfort, but there was none. There was nothing left.

Jungkook’s voice softened as he looked down at her, his anger spent, replaced by exhaustion and sorrow. “I never wanted to hurt you, Aera. I never wanted any of this. But I can’t keep pretending. Not after today” he said.

Aera’s mind flashed back to the image of you, unconscious on the floor of the office, the blood staining your face. How long had Jungkook carried this guilt? How much had he sacrificed, all because of her father’s demands?

She wanted to ask him what would happen now, but the words wouldn’t come. She couldn’t even think about tomorrow, about what this meant for their future. All she could feel was the immense weight of betrayal pressing down on her, suffocating her, breaking her apart piece by piece.

Jungkook knew that finally telling Aera the truth wouldn’t make a difference to anything. Because he knew he lost everything the moment her father threatened you and your family in ways he still hadn’t figured out.

He knew that confronting Aera about her father wouldn’t change the fact that the ten years he had spent with you was now destroyed. He lost you when the first tear fell from your eyes, and he knew it especially when he fed you lies to make you hate him.

It was all over, and there was no going back. He lost you forever.

┄┄┄┄┄

ONE WEEK LATER

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔

“I’M PREGNANT!” was the first thing your best friend screamed as the door to the bathroom slammed open.

You jerked in surprise, and the book you’ve been reading while laying down on your bed slipped from your hands and fell on your face. You groaned as you pushed the book aside, knowing you probably lost the page you were on.

You glanced over at Minhee, blinking slowly. You weren’t exactly surprised by the news. Minhee and her boyfriend were sexually active, and you only knew this because she somehow had to tell you every detail of her life and relationship.

“So...you’re pregnant,” you said flatly, raising an eyebrow. You sat up and folded your arms across your chest, offering your friend a half-smile.

“Should I act shocked?” you asked.

Minhee gaped at you, walking over and holding the test in front of you as if it were a rare artifact. “Yes! You should be shocked! I wasn’t expecting this!” she yelled.

But you were.

Minhee’s hands were shaking slightly as she looked at the pregnancy test. Her face portrayed conflicting emotions — mostly anxiety and disbelief. But there was a little bit of joy too.

This wasn't exactly part of Minhee’s grand plan for her twenties.

You knew your best friend had always been someone who valued freedom above all else — spontaneous road trips, parties, endless nights out dancing. She always said she wanted to enjoy her twenties, traveling, exploring, making memories with the people she loved, not tied down by anything or anyone. At least not yet. A baby had never been part of that plan. Not now.

“Hmm” you hummed.

“I’m happy for you though, you know?” you said sincerely, your face softening you sat up.

“I mean, you’ve got this, right?” you leaned forward and rested your elbows on your knees.

You were genuinely happy for her, despite everything. Even if Minhee wasn't exactly ready for a baby, you knew her well enough to believe that she had figured it out. She was in a good place mentally and financially, and with her boyfriend by her side, you knew nothing could go wrong. Minhee was resilient, after all. If anyone could take on the unexpected, it was her.

Minhee’s eyes danced as she sat down on your bed. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’m terrified. But...I think I’m happy too? It’s just…this crazy” she glanced at the test in her hand, her smile wavering slightly, as though the gravity of it all was beginning to sink in.

“Me and Sangmin were going to go to Greece next summer” she trailed off with a sigh. You understood how she was feeling, a baby was a big responsibility, and mentally preparing yourself given the suddenness wasn’t easy.

“Well, I guess Greece will have to wait. But I think you'll be an amazing mom” you reassured her as you pulled her into a hug.

“And hey, you’re not alone in this, okay?” you remind her.

Minhee clung to you, still feeling a little overwhelmed but grateful for the comfort she needed, especially by you. “Thank you” she murmured into your shoulder.

The room fell silent for a moment as you two hugged, but you soon broke it with a soft giggle. You gently grabbed her shoulders and pulled, a childish smile dancing on your lips.

“Wow, can’t wait for my little niece or nephew to join the chaos” you joked as you reached down to place your hand gently on her lower abdomen.

Minhee chucked at your comment and placed her hand over yours, feeling herself less tense than she was before. “Me too” she quietly responded, “mommy is still going to be a wild one either way” she added, earning a loud laugh from you.

“That’s one thing about you that’s never going to change”

Minhee glanced at the pregnancy test still in her hand. Life was about to change — for her and the people she knew. But for now, she just wanted to enjoy this strange, unexpected turn of events, knowing that whatever happened next, she would face it together with the people she loved. You, Sangmin and Mingyu.

┄┄┄┄┄

Later that day, you tagged along with Minhee and went over to Mingyu’s house to hang out, also with the intention of breaking the news to him. Both of you had the same scenario played out in your minds about how he was going to react.

And well…

“Does this mean I can finally teach someone my skills in scamming the system?”

“What the fuck? No! You’re not teaching my child shit” Minhee deadpanned, horrified at his suggestion.

“Ugh, what’s the point then? They need to know how to fuck over the system before the system fucks them” Mingyu rolled his eyes, folding his arms and leaning back against the couch.

“You’re not turning my child into a criminal Gyu” she glared.

“Whatever, but I’m going to be the godfather though, right?” his eyes then lit up as he leaned forward.

“Unfortunately” Minhee sighed.

“Hey what’s that supposed to mean?” he frowned.

You placed your now empty cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table and turned to your male friend. “And I’m the godmother” you barged into the conversation, diverting the attention to the main topic.

“Seriously though, when are you planning to tell Sangmin?” you turned to ask Minhee. Minhee shifted in her seat, not uncomfortably but rather unsure.

“I don’t know to be honest. I mean, his internship at the tech company is about to be over in a month and he’s working really hard paying attention to his work. I don’t really want the news to come in the way and distract him, so I think I’ll just wait until then” she answered.

You and Mingyu nodded understandably. You both knew how important this internship had been for Sangmin. It was a major stepping stone for his career, something he had worked incredibly hard for. The last thing Minhee wanted was to derail his focus, especially since you both knew he was the kind of person who would drop everything to be by her side if he knew.

“It makes sense, honestly. You don’t want to throw this at him when he’s in the middle of such a big opportunity” Mingyu said.

You, who had been listening quietly, nodded in agreement. “It’s smart. But when the time comes, he’s going to want to know everything. You know, like when he starts noticing your bump. And he’ll be there for you, Minhee. I’m sure of it” you assure her.

Minhee hummed in response. “I just…I don’t know how to handle this on my own for a month without telling him” she mumbled as she nibbled on his lip.

Mingyu leaned over and pulled his best friend into a quick, reassuring hug. “You’re never on your own, Min. We’ve got your back, always” he told her.

“I told you, we’re always here for you” you reminded her, joining the small group hug.

You, sitting beside them, smiled softly. It was moments like these that reminded you why your friendship had endured for so long. You were always there for each other, no matter what life threw your way.

“I love you guys” Minhee sighed in relief, relieved that she was surrounded by such supportive people.

For the next few hours, the three of you talked about everything from baby names to how Minhee planned to break the news to Sangmin when the time was right. Mingyu, true to his nature, kept the mood light, cracking jokes about being the coolest godfather in history and offering ridiculous parenting advice that had Minhee and you laughing uncontrollably.

━━━━━━━━━━

▌31 DECEMBER 2022 — [09:30 a.m.]

It was early winter morning, and the cold air was biting at your faces as you stood in the driveway. The sun, hidden behind thick grey clouds, gave a pale light that reflected off the snow-covered ground. You, Minhee, and Mingyu stood around the open trunk of Sangmin’s SUV, ready to load up for your trip to the forest resort.

The New Year’s celebration was something you had been planning for weeks, and now, after a fresh layer of snow blanketed the world around, the excitement was uncontainable.

You, wrapped tightly in a puffy coat and wool scarf, were adjusting your suitcase in the back of the car. You brushed some stray snowflakes from your hair, laughing as Mingyu tried to cram his duffel bag into the limited space left. He always packed like he was going away for a month, even if it was just a few days.

“Come on, Gyu, there’s no way that thing’s fitting unless you leave half of it behind,” you teased, shoving your own bag to make more room.

Mingyu gave you a dramatic eye roll. “I need options, Y/n. Who knows what the wilderness will throw at us,” he joked, pulling at his worn leather jacket and flashing his usual mischievous grin.

“You’re acting like we’re going out to live with the bears in the wild” you rolled your eyes back, folding your arms against your chest.

“Why? Does the idea of it scare you?” he smirked, raising his brow.

“Pfft, scare me? Why would it scare me?” you tried to come off as brave. Although in reality you knew you wouldn’t last a day in the wild.

“Aww, my Y/n-nie is actually scared” Mingyu pouted with his sickening baby voice as he cupped your cheeks with his surprisingly warm hands.

“Don’t worry, your Gyu will protect you” he pouted, taking the opportunity to squish your cheeks together.

“Ugh, whatever” you pushed his hands away.

Minhee stood nearby, watching you both with amusement with her hand resting on her small but noticeable baby bump.

At four months pregnant, she had begun to show, and although she was still glowing with excitement about the baby, there was an undeniable shift in the way she carried herself. Her energy was different — more careful, more thoughtful. She was wrapped in a long coat, her face glowing, framed by her brown curls that spilled out from beneath her beanie.

Despite the cold, Minhee’s cheeks were flushed with the same excitement that had been bubbling in her ever since you all decided to spend New Year’s Eve at a secluded resort in the forest. The snow only made the idea even more magical.

“Are we ready to go?” you asked whoever.

“I think so,” Mingyu shrugged.

You glanced over and noticed Minhee picking up and struggling to carry a smaller but noticeably overstuffed bag. It was filled with the extra things for the trip that Minhee insisted on bringing. Before you could step in to help, Sangmin appeared from the front of the house, his eyes immediately locking onto his struggling girlfriend.

“Minhee!” he called out, rushing over with a look of concern that you and Mingyu had grown used to over the past few months. He was protective of her, almost to a fault, ever since Minhee told him she was pregnant. He had always been caring, but now there was a new layer of vigilance in his every action.

Sangmin reached Minhee’s side in seconds, his hand gently but firmly pulling the bag from her grip. “What are you doing?” he scolded, his voice soft but stern. “You shouldn’t be carrying heavy things right now, remember?” he reminded her.

Minhee gave him a sheepish look, the kind that said she knew she was in trouble but hadn’t thought it was a big deal. “It’s just one more bag,” she replied lightly, but Sangmin was having none of it.

“One more bag is too many,” he said, shooting her a look that made her smile in a way that softened his concern. He dropped the bag into the trunk and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a protective hug.

“I’ve got it, okay? You don’t need to do anything but relax. I mean it, babe” he stared at her.

Minhee sighed but smiled up at him, her hand resting on his chest. “You worry too much,” she teased, though it was clear she appreciated his concern.

“Well, someone has to,” he replied, his tone lightening as he kissed the top of her head.

Minhee rolled her eyes but couldn’t help smiling. She placed a hand on her boyfriend’s arm and squeezed it reassuringly. “I promise I’ll be careful. I just want to enjoy the holiday” she reassured him.

Sangmin sighed, still not fully convinced. He wasn’t thrilled about the trip, especially with the snow making everything more dangerous. The resort was nestled deep in the woods, and while it was supposed to be a winter wonderland, the snow could also be a hazard — slippery roads, icy paths, and the constant risk of Minhee falling and hurting herself. The thought made him uneasy.

But Minhee was firm about going even though you tried to make her reconsider. She planned the trip months ago before the baby and she wasn’t going to back out now.

Her determination had left Sangmin with little choice. She was excited, glowing even, and while he worried constantly, he also knew he couldn’t say no to her. It was their first trip together since finding out about the pregnancy, and despite his fears, he wanted to make it special for her.

You exchanged a glance with Mingyu, who was leaning against the car, smirking at the scene. “You two are like an old married couple already,” he teased.

Sangmin shot him a look. “You’d be the same way if your girlfriend was pregnant,” he muttered, his protective stance softening only slightly as he closed the trunk with a thud.

Mingyu smiled to himself as he thought of the possibility of you and him being together, and the way he knew he’d act exactly like Sangmin if you were carrying his baby.

He felt kind of sick for having such thoughts about his best friend, but he was so deeply in love with you and any thoughts he had were always about you and the life he could possibly have if you’d ever return his feelings.

Minhee bugged him for the longest to confess to you, to consider this trip as a perfect opportunity to do so. But for a muscular, six point one foot tall man, confessing to you was something that terrified him the most out of everything.

However, deep down Mingyu knew he couldn’t keep his feelings locked away forever. It was either he grew a pair of balls and confess to you in the most romantic way, or watch you fall in love with someone else. Though he could never let the latter happen.

“Okay, are we all ready?” Minhee asked, breaking him out of his trance.

“Yup” you all responded.

With everything finally secured, you all piled up into the car.

Sangmin got behind the wheel, and his protective nature settled into quiet focus as he checked the mirrors and adjusted the heater. Minhee sat beside him with her hand resting on her stomach in that absent-minded way she often did now. You and Mingyu climbed into the back, already laughing about the playlist for the drive.

As the SUV rolled out of the driveway, the excitement of your New Year’s trip settled over you like the falling snow outside — soft, quiet, and filled with the promise of creating a beautiful memory.

This trip felt like a new chapter for you — a chance to continue the healing you had started after months of heartache. It had been seven months since Jungkook broke up with you.

The break-up obviously blindsided you, and to this day the memory of the pain was still fresh within you.

But Mingyu and Minhee never left your side. Even during those days when you tried to push them away, they remained constant, showing up for you one way or another.

And slowly, with them around you, you started to pick up the pieces. They took you on hikes, dragged you out for movie nights, and sat with you through endless cups of coffee and conversations that ranged from trivial to profound.

Anything to get your mind away from Jungkook, or at least help you take little steps to moving forward. They were the ones who reminded you who you were when you forgot, and they were the ones who had encouraged you to come on this trip as a little getaway from reality.

┈┈┈┈┈

The drive to the forest resort was about five hours, but you didn’t mind — it gave you all time to unwind, catch up, and enjoy the winter scenery. Sangmin drove carefully, the tires crunching over the lightly snow-dusted roads.

Two hours into the drive, the snowfall started to thicken. Flurries turned into heavy, dense flakes, and soon the roads were coated with a thick layer of snow. The windshield wipers worked overtime, struggling to keep the glass clear. The chatter in the car faded as everyone turned their attention to the increasingly dangerous conditions outside.

Everyone except you, who was fast asleep on Mingyu’s shoulder

Sangmin’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. He could feel the car skidding slightly as the tires struggled for traction. “It’s getting worse out here,” he muttered.

Minhee looked over at him, her brow furrowed with concern. “Maybe we should stop for a bit. The last thing we need is an accident” she said.

Sangmin nodded in agreement. He’d already been thinking the same thing. The snowstorm was picking up quickly, and he didn’t want to risk driving through it. A small service station sign appeared ahead, offering a bit of relief.

“Let’s pull over here,” he said, guiding the car off the highway and into the lot. The small service station was dimly lit, but it looked warm inside.

“You okay, baby?” Sangmin asked Minhee for what seemed like the hundredth time since they had left the house.

Minhee chuckled softly, rolling her eyes in amusement. “Yes, I’m fine. I promise” she reached over and squeezed his hand.

Meanwhile in the back seat, you were still asleep. The soft from the radio combined with the warmth from the heater had lulled you into a deep, peaceful slumber. Mingyu, on the other hand, kept you close while staring out the window. He just hoped the storm died out soon.

As you all waited for the storm to calm, a sudden chill caused you to stir in your sleep. You nuzzled closer to Mingyu, unconsciously seeking warmth, and buried your face into his chest.

Mingyu felt his heart skip a beat as he looked down at you, your cheek squished against his firm chest. But soon, a soft smile curled up on his lips. Adjusting himself, he wrapped his arms around your small frame and pulled you in closer to his body.

You unconsciously readjusted yourself, tucking your head into the crook of his neck. He felt you relax again, your breathing softening once more as you fell back into a peaceful sleep. His heart raced, but he tried to calm himself, focusing on the steady rhythm of your breathing against him.

The snowstorm outside raged on, but inside the car, it felt quiet and still. Sangmin glanced into the rearview mirror and noticed you were asleep against Mingyu. He smirked to himself but said nothing. Minhee, too, saw the scene unfold and exchanged a knowing look with her boyfriend.

“You know, Mingyu,” she began, trying to keep her voice as quiet as possible, but still loud enough for Mingyu to hear. Mingyu hummed, raising his head to look at his best friend.

“I think you should confess to her during the countdown” she suggested.

Mingyu sighed, turning his attention down to you who was softly snoring against the crook of his neck. Minhee’s idea wasn’t bad, in fact, it was perfect. But Mingyu wasn't sure.

“I don’t know Minhee” he quietly mumbled.

“What if she rejects me? What if she only sees me as her best friend? I don’t think I’ll be able to handle her rejection” he answered as honestly as he could.

“Look, I know what you’re thinking. I know you think her heart’s still with Jungkook because they’ve loved each other for a decade” Minhee began.

“But can’t you see? Our efforts to help her heal are working. Yes a ten year relationship is something that’s going to take a while to move forwards from, but she’s getting there. Sure, she still needs time, but she needs to know that a better man is out there to love her and treat her better. And that man is you, Gyu” she told him.

Mingyu’s eyes started to gloss, his gaze still remained on you.

“Minhee is right,” Sangmin spoke up.

“She’ll only see you as a friend if you keep your feelings hidden. Confession is just a step to take things further, and though she might not feel so strongly at first, I know she’ll grow to love you the way you love her. I promise you that” he said.

There was a long pause, the only sound being the hum of the heater and Mingyu’s soft sniffles as stared at you with longing eyes. His hand unconsciously made its way up and brushed the few strands of hair away from your face.

“She trusts you, Gyu, a lot. She’s grateful for you and everything you’ve done for her. Confessing just means you’re promising her to always be there for her and love her no matter what” Minhee broke the silence.

Mingyu knew you were well unaware of the conversation happening in your presence, and he was glad it was that way. He couldn’t let you see him cry again. It was a side he rarely showed you, because crying made him look weak even though you told him it doesn’t.

“I’ll do it” he quietly said after a pause of silence.

Sangmin and Minhee smiled widely, feeling like they finally accomplished in convincing him. All they had to do now was wait and see, and for that, they were excited. Fingers crossed that everything would go well.

┈┈┈┈┈

[11:50 p.m.]

You stood by the large window of the luxurious forest resort, watching the snow fall gently over the evergreen trees. The storm had finally calmed, but the snow still continued to fall from the sky, covering everything in a soft white blanket. And inside, the warmth of the fire crackling in the stone hearth filled the air.

The resort house was the largest and most expensive one Sangmin could have chosen — an impressive log cabin, but with the charm of a homely, rustic retreat. All so he could make sure Minhee could be more secure and comfortable during the one week stay.

Its wooden beams, dark and polished, stretched across the high vaulted ceilings, while oversized windows offered a perfect view of the snow-covered forest surrounding them. The scent of pine wood mixed with a faint aroma of cedar filled the air, making the entire house feel warm and inviting. Plush leather sofas and fur-lined blankets were scattered across the open living area, where you all had been lounging after your arrival, soaking in the cozy atmosphere.

You stood at the resort’s large open field, surrounded by other guests who were also braving the cold, waiting for the New Year’s countdown and celebration to begin.

The scene was serene, almost magical. The trees that bordered the field were dusted with snow, their branches bending under the weight. The resort’s lights twinkled, emitting a warm glow on the snow-covered ground. Nearby, small groups of people huddled around fire pits, roasting marshmallows, making s’mores, and sipping hot chocolate. The crackle of the fires mixed with the murmur of conversation and laughter. It was the perfect setting for a peaceful night, the warmth of the fires balancing out the cold nip in the air.

Minhee stood beside you, looking content as she carefully sipped her hot chocolate. Sangmin was standing protectively by her side, an arm wrapped casually around her waist. They had been joking and talking about baby names earlier to fill the night with light-hearted conversation.

However, as you looked over at your friends, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. It could’ve been you, with Jungkook.

But this trip was supposed to be a fresh start, a break from the constant ache that seemed to follow you. You couldn’t let anything ruin this perfect atmosphere.

You looked around the field, trying to focus on the beauty of the moment. The snow. The warmth of the fires. The way everyone seemed so carefree.

Mingyu, however, wasn’t part of the lively conversations or the light banter about baby names. He stood just a few feet away, silent and pensive, holding a cup of hot chocolate that had long gone cold. His eyes kept drifting toward you, watching you carefully when he thought you weren’t looking.

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, Mingyu felt his anxiety rise. It was 11:55 p.m., just five minutes left until the New Year.

He had made up his mind back in the car. He had rehearsed the words a thousand times in his head, but now, standing here in the cold, the words seemed harder to find. His mind raced.

What if you weren’t ready? What if you didn’t feel the same way? He couldn’t imagine losing you as a friend.

Sooner or later, you finally noticed Mingyu’s absence and his lack of interaction, or the way he stood a distance away. You walked over to where he stood and snapped your fingers at him, bringing him back to reality.

“Hey, you okay? You’ve been really quiet” you asked softly, your breath visible in the cold air.

Mingyu forced a smile, “yeah, just…thinking” he sighed. You raised an eyebrow, giving him that look that told him you weren’t buying it.

“About?” you questioned.

“About…you” the words slipped out before he could stop them, and he felt his heart race even faster.

You looked at him, confused, “me?” you tilted your head a little.

Mingyu took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly. He chucked his hot chocolate away and faced you fully. There was no turning back now. The countdown began.

“Fifty-nine, fifty-eight, fifty-seven…”

“Y/n, I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while now” his voice was shaky, but he pushed through. He took a step forward, his tall body towering over yours, and took your hands in his.

“I know I shouldn’t be doing this, especially what you’re going through. But you’ve been through a lot, and I hate seeing you like this” he said.

“Mingyu, what are you trying to say?” your voice was low but soft. And your heart was pounding because you saw how his eyes were starting to pool with tears.

“Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight…”

“I…I love you Y/n. I love you more than just a friend” he finally dropped the bomb.

“I’ve loved you for a long time. Longer than I probably should’ve. But I’ve always been too scared to say anything. I just…I want to be there for you, not just as a friend, but as a lover. I want to love you better than Jungkook ever did” he confessed, his tears finally breaking free.

Your eyes widened. You stared at Mingyu, processing his words, your heart pounding faster and harder inside your chest.

“Ten, nine, eight…”

Your silence was killing him, and it made him want to dig himself a six feet deep hole and bury himself inside.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I understand. I just…I just want you to be happy” he sniffled, shaking his head as he let go of your hands and took a step back.

“Three, two…”

Before he could take another step back, you grabbed him by his collars and pulled him in, crashing your lips against his.

“ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. The cheers of the guests, the crackle of the fire, the cold — it all faded into the background.

It was just you two.

The fireworks exploded in the sky, lighting up the night with brilliant colors. But all Mingyu could feel were the butterflies that had erupted in his chest. His hands reached to cup your face and kissed you back hard, his heart soaring, unable to believe what had just happened.

When you finally broke apart, your eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions. “I don’t know what this means and I don’t know what happens next,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of the fireworks.

“But I think I want to find out…with you” you smiled as you wiped away his tears.

┈┈┈┈┈

Jungkook reclined against the plush cushions of his leather couch, sunk deep into the comfort of its embrace.

The large windows of his high rise penthouse framed the dark expanse of the night. It was illuminated by the bursts of fireworks that exploded across the sky, painting it with flashes of brilliant reds, blues, and golds. They celebrated the arrival of the new year — 2023.

In his hand, he loosely gripped a glass of wine, the deep red liquid swirling lazily with each tilt of his wrist. He stared into it now and again, but his attention wandered back to the windows. His eyes, bloodshot and tired, strained to track the vibrant explosions as they flared in the distance, but his mind seemed somewhere else, adrift in a haze of thought and alcohol. He blinked sluggishly, his eyelids heavy, barely managing to keep them open as he gazed out into the night.

His appearance reflected the complete mess he was. His hair was now disheveled, sticking up in wild tufts as though he'd run his fingers through it one too many times in frustration or exhaustion. The tailored suit he wore hung loosely, the jacket unbuttoned, his shirt wrinkled and partially untucked, its crispness long gone. A loosened tie dangled carelessly from his neck, as though he'd given up on pulling it off altogether.

He looked like someone who had fallen out of sync with the world around him, a man unmoored from the celebration echoing through the city streets below.

The television blared in the background, filling the room with the chaotic clamor of laughter, cheers, and the countdown of voices marking the final moments of the old year. News anchors smiled too brightly, their voices carrying through the penthouse, but the sound was muted, almost faint to his ears. Everything around him felt distant, like watching life play out behind a glass screen. The cheers, the fireworks, the spectacle — it all felt hollow.

His pale skin seemed to glow under the dim lighting of the room, his complexion drained of warmth, the hollows of his cheeks more pronounced than usual. He took a slow sip from the wine glass, his lips barely parting as the bitter taste touched his tongue. It was as though he drank not to enjoy, but merely to pass the time, to keep his hands occupied as his thoughts spiraled inward.

The alcohol coursed through him, dulling the edges of his awareness, but it couldn't mask the exhaustion and depression etched in his face. His bloodshot eyes, glassy and unfocused, lingered on the fireworks outside, though their beauty failed to stir him.

As the night deepened, the sky continued to erupt with color, each explosion a momentary flash of brilliance in the otherwise endless dark. But inside, Jungkook remained still, barely reacting to the bursts of sound or the vibrancy of the display. He was disconnected from the celebration, lost in his own reverie, his body present but his mind elsewhere, heavy with thoughts that weighed him down more than the wine could lift. The year had turned, but for him, the sense of renewal was nowhere to be found.

You were nowhere to be found.

Seven months. Seven months since everything fell apart.

He recalled the ten years he spent with you, filled with laughter, fights, forgiveness, and the kind of intimacy that made the rest of the world fade away.

But now, the only thing that was fading was the memory of your warmth. It was all unraveling, piece by piece, like his life had since the breakup. Your voice, once so lively, had grown dim in his mind. Your laughter, once the soundtrack of his happiest moments, had been replaced by the silence of an empty apartment.

He should be with you.

He could picture you now — your eyes lighting up as the fireworks exploded, your smile wide as you turned to him for that midnight kiss. He could almost feel the soft brush of your lips against his, the way your hand would find his in the moments after, fingers interlacing in a way that made everything else seem irrelevant.

But instead, he was here, alone, watching the world move on while he remained stuck in a place where time felt frozen. The distant sound of the fireworks continued to echo, but to him, it was nothing but background noise. An empty reminder that this was the first of many New Year's Eves he’d have to face without you.

Jungkook’s grip on the wine glass weakened, and he didn’t notice as it slipped from his hand. The glass hit the tiled floor with a sharp crack, shattering into pieces, the wine spilling out like blood.

A choked sob tore from his throat, the first sound he had made in hours. It was raw and broken, a release of the pain he had kept bottled up for too long. His shoulders shook as the sobs wracked his body, tears finally spilling from his eyes, running down his pale cheeks.

He was supposed to be celebrating with you. He was supposed to welcome a new beginning, with you. But he knew it was now impossible. That reaching you was impossible.

Jungkook wasn’t sure what kind of regrets he carried. But what he did know was that perhaps he should’ve fought for you harder.

But none of that mattered anymore. What he was going through, what he needed, and what he felt like, none of it mattered to anyone anymore.

Sacrifices are meant to hurt. Letting go was meant to hurt. Jungkook knew that, but he wasn’t prepared for the agonising pain it came with. But he knew. He knew this was the only way you could be safe.

But why? Why did it have to be the only way?

It was a question he’ll never get an answer to.

He didn’t know what life meant anymore, nor what it held for him ahead. He was just an empty shell walking without a destination.

Perhaps in another life.

#bts #bts jungkook #bts moodboard #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts smut #bts x reader #bts x fem!reader #jungkook fluff #bts jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook #svt mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu

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solar4seekstron · 2 months ago

Text

Transformers One x reader: Awakening Chapter One

Chapter 1: No Matter What

Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six

Transformers One x Cybertronian!GN!Reader

Following the Reader go on the large adventure of our heroes create their own path.

Trigger Warning: 16+(?), Some harassment, bit of assault not too sexual, Long aft chapter, we don’t meet B yet :(. So far that’s all.

(In this story the reader is Cybertronian and gender neutral. Going by they/them but you can imagine it’s your preferred pronouns if you wish. Be sure to not harass and bully anyone in the comments. Everyone is free to make their own opinion. The story will sort of be yandere-ish because that’s just fun if I’m being honest. Nothing too sexual but I’ll put it up for 16+. The characters to the reader are super affectionate as the reader is a little affectionate at times being a little more collected. The reader is cogless in the story and like I said the story is a little yandere-ish which means EVERYONE WANTS THE READER HAHAHAHAHA! At the end there will be a two parter. My plan with either the reader goes to join D-16 or OP and elite and Bee. lol making the three have to share you still but D would get the reader all to himself after leaving lmao. But for the ending with the three there will be secret 3 parts of the reader choosing them and becoming a couple at the end. Also no the reader isn’t being a ho. They're just really nice and slowly grow feelings. You can decide who they grow feelings for and who they grow to respect and care for more as a friend. I’m just having some fun at this point lol. I plan to release

6 chapters every Tuesday and yes they will be long so sorry if any of you don’t like long chapters.

The Reader. I want them to be pretty tall and their alt mode is going to be a helicopter. So think much of them like Drift from TF4 and they use swords as well. Compared to Orion and D they’re as tall as like that seen where it’s D and sentinel. They be the same height as D and D and Orion are the size of sentinel. Hope that makes sense. So they’re that same height with and before getting a cog. Their armor color is up to you like their gender as well as which ending you choose for them. You a B simp there is an ending for him like the others you simps lol.

I hope you all enjoy and will love the support as I keep continuing to write this series fiction. Well my first fiction planning to write more after it being transformers or other franchises….ok enjoy Imma go to bed)

The story begins on the planet Cybertron. A planet that’s a whole world of transformation. The story carries through the underground of the planet with buildings of a large city. Tall buildings hanging upside down over the city that stands up.

The story would go to the ground where the miners section, as other Cybertronians were chatting before going to work. A certain bot would walk through the halls and past others greeting them with a warm smile as they make their way to a certain gray bot who was admiring some of his stickers of his biggest idol. The bot would put their hands behind their back as they sneakily come up behind D-16 and whisper, making him jump a bit.

”So?-“ Soon on reflex D turns around and swings a punch at them being started. Y/N easily catches his fist with a soft smile and continues their question.

“How’s the collection coming along D?” They say with a little grin. Still holding his fist.

”Oh! Y/N! Sorry, I kinda just zoned out- Ya- ya know.”

“Oh I’m aware. I admire it too when I pass by you know.”

”Oh yeah- I-I mean, really? I wouldn’t have them if Orion didn’t go out most times. Just wish it didn’t have me saving his aft all the damn time before though.”

”You and I both D. But what can we do?” They say as they put their hand on the side of his shoulder and look at the collection admiring them. D glancing at them for a short moment.

”Beat him?” He says after a second. A cute grin on his face as he looked at them

”D!” They gently push his shoulder and smile.

”What I’m kidding. Ehh, sorta.” The two chuckled joking with each other as they looked at eachother then at D collection. The speakers in the miners section would speak telling the minors it’s time for their shift. D would then sigh and stretch his arms, flexing a bit to show off in front of Y/N. They just rolled their eyes and put a hand on Ds shoulder and starts walking with him as they walked towards the cart and start putting the tools for work before walking out with the others making their way to the train. D pushing the cart as Y/N walks close next to him.

Meanwhile~

The story then leads to a tower hanging on the top of the underground with the others as it shows a Cybertronian climbing and sneaking through a vent from the outside. Carefully landing in silence as he kneels down before red lasers on the ground. Him taking a closer look before looking around and then standing up. Stepping carefully towards his targeted direction. He then starts looking over a shelf with different records searching for a sort of recording chip.

”All right, lets see what we got here.” He says as he picks up a chip. Then walks to a table for the chips to show a recording.

”Seen it. Seen it.” He lets out a sigh as he walked and looked over the ships. “What’s this about?” He asks himself as he then puts the chip down on the table. After the records would start playing but it was a bit messed up being at its old age. The recording will repeat no as Orion would tell it to shush as he tries hitting the buttons.Causing one of the security bots to awaken and turn on floating in the air to find the source. Orion would then get the bright idea to take the chip out to shut it up and look behind him with worry in his eyes as he looked out for anything robot. He would then look back at the chip in his hand and gently blow on it before setting it back. The recording would start to work right.

”Ah, Here we go.” Orion says with joy.

”At the dawn of time. Years ago. There was our gracias and powerful creator. Primus. To protect our universe, he sacrificed his life for us. Transforming his life for us, transforming himself into our planet Cybertron. From within Cybertrons core birthed the first transformers known as the primes. The most powerful transformers appointed to lead future generations. To assist them primus created an entity of great power. The matrix of leadership”

”Matrix, there it is. Ok good. Come on. Keep going” Orion says un aware of the bot coming towards him.

”With the matrix in the primes possession. Cybertrons natural power source, energon. Flowed in abundance. Sustaining life across-“ The recording Continues as the small robot patrols and soon notices Orion. Orion was still watching the recording as he awaited the answer he’s searching for.

“Attention! Unauthorized movement detected at the archived vault. Sector J3.” The snitch robot says to other Cybertronianss with cogs.

“K to K 12 to K to K 1. Perching archives in 10 seconds.” A Cybertronian says with another as the two rocket shoes help them go faster to their intended location.

”For generations, there was peace and prosperity until the matrix of leadership was lost. Causing energon to no longer flow.” The recording says before turning off.

“Ugh, why does every leg and about the matrix end right there?” He sighs before looking in his arm. “One of these has to say what happened.”

“Halt. Criminal. Prepare to be contained”

”Uhh Iiiii”

”Prepare to be contained.”

”Prepare to conta-“ Orion would then punch it very hard after putting his fists up.

He would then run down the hall to where he came in from but the two guards who were warned about him made it in time to stop him. He would then turn the corner trying to escape still.

“Freeze!”

“Get Down!”

“Oh! Well! Hello guys! Yeah! I’m so glad you’re here. Which way is the exit? I must’ve taken a wrong turn.” He chuckles as he walks backwards.

“It’s that defective mining bot. Oreon Pix.”

”Orion Pax.”

”Who cares! We told you to never come back here!”

”Why are we all yelling guys?” He chuckles nervously.

”We are going to smash you!”

”Hold on. Whoa whoa hold on. No need for violence. How about this? I run away. You chase me. We play that game. Huh? Come on. You’re bigger, faster. It’ll be fun.”

”He doesn’t have a cog. Lets give him a head start.”

”Why not? It’s not like he can transform.”

”Oh yeah? Well watch this!” He would then fake a transformer ion to trick the two bigger bots before quickly turning around and running away getting a head start. Leaving the two mad as they both now chase after him.

“Get him!!”

Orion would then run through the archives and do a few stunts along the way. Jumping up and pulling a part of the ceiling down behind him causing it to fall on one of the bots. As he runs he then slides down on the floor as he keeps running looking for somewhere or something to use to escape. The two bots on his tail.

“I uh need something to find. Uh something to find.” He then spotted another bot for the archives.

Stealing the bot and carrying it in his arms as he kept running. The two bots are still chasing him. One of them would then transform mid air into his lt mode. Orion looking back seeing him would then run faster to the window. Jumping into it without hesitation. Orion would then be falling at very tall heights still holding the small robot with his hand. Hitting and shaking the bot to work

”Start!. Come on.” It would then work to help Orion stay in the air a bit as he hanged on.

Soon causing him to go into mid air traffic. Causing him to sort of get hit and him spinning with the bot. He would then hit a wall of a building causing him to let go and fall once more. Sliding down on the roofs of the building and making a fast jump to another one next door. Luckily catching it with his arms and climbing back on top. Noticing the two bots now on his tail again he fully got up and started running for a door.

”Haha. So long suck-“ He would then fall in a room full of Cybertronians speaking to each other. All having their cogs. He would land on a table breaking it and a bunch of energon placed there now around and a bit on him. All of them stare at him and he gets up taking a few energon with him

”Oh energon. Evening everyone. Pardon me.”

As he continued running he would slide off the floor again dropping some energon. Running into a crowd of other cybertronians with their cogs as a few would keep walking and others notice him making a run for it. He would continue to eat small pieces of energon off the floor as he kept running. He continues to run to where the other minors are as he bumps into other bigger Cybertronians who are surprised to see him. He would then notice the train and soon jump off a cliff right onto the train. landing on it causing the others inside to look up and see him.

”Oh it’s Orion.”

”Seriously?”

Orion would then keep running on the train. Once it’s at a complete stop he soon jumps off and continues to run getting closer to the doors for the minors as other minors are walking out. But the two bots would soon catch up and land in front of him, transforming. Orion then stopped to catch his breath.

“Ok. Hey fellas. Thanks for the head start. Wanna give me another one?”

”You’re dead!”

”I’ll take that as a no.” Orion says as he walks backwards again as the two bots get closer and closer now, more angry than ever. But then someone bumps a cart into one of the bots.

”Hey watch where you’re going you-oh nooo” D would then pretend to be surprised as he looked up at the two with his hands up.

”What did you say no cog?” The bot says to D.

”Sorry sir. I didn’t mean you. I was referring to the bot who was behind you.”

”What? Where he go?”

D would then start putting the tools needed back in the cart as he continues to speak to the bots. Helping Orion to escape.

“The filthy red and blue bot? Has a big mouth, squeaky joints, and gives off a carota metallic stench.”

”Where is he?!”

”He went that way.” D would then point to the right direction lying to the bots.

”When I get my hands on him!” The two then leave to the direction searching for Orion again among the many minor bots.

D would start walking to the train, getting on and standing at the other side.

*On the train-

Y/N and Elita were in the train already waiting for the train to start. The two stood. Elita speaking to another while Y/N looked out the window. Curious it’s in their eyes as they also look at the towers above. As they continued to look, Elita would turn and look at them. They sigh and look back down. Elita would dismiss her friend and walk to be next to Y/N looking out the window as well. Elita would then speak. Her hands down.

”So today is quite the day. I’ll finally get my promotion. I’m uhh- a little nervous.”

Elita was sort of lying feeling more confident. But she got nervous around them so much but did a good job not showing it too much. Y/N would then turn their body a bit as they looked at her with a soft smile.

”Elita you’ll do great. I believe in you. You’re a great leader and Sentinel is surely to notice.”

The train would start moving. Elita couldn’t help but smile as she glanced at them. She would then stutter on her words that are almost noticeable.

”O-oh you really believe so?” Her hand almost reached for theirs.

Y/N would then brightly smile and wrap that very hand and arm around her shoulders bringing her a bit closer. Elita caught herself as she then looked at them once at the same height. Their arms are still around her.

”I know it is. If anyone can do it. It’s you.”

Elita would visibly relax then. She would then get the confidence to put her hand on their shoulder as a smile is set on her lips.

”Thank you.” There was a moment of silence.

”And hey if it means you go to bigger places. Imagine! You’ll be an icon to all minors, not just me and the others close to you. Just don’t forget us. Dont forget me yeah?”

Elita would stare at them with soft optics as she stood up a little straight as she noticed they’re getting closer to the mines.

”You’re with me and a way better team than the last one.”

This made them really smile and look back up the window as it slowly gets dark. Them getting in the mines.

*Orion and D-

D was on the train as he nodded to another bot passing by

”Alright, all clear”

Orion would then pop out catching one of the tools from falling as he then would speak to D.

”Ok D-16 I may be a little rusty but carota that is too far. And where’s Y/N??”

”Elita had them join her earlier. To make sure the other miners aren’t going to mess up her promotion.” D would then sigh. Orion almost seemed disappointed like Ds face was. But they weren’t looking at each other.

”Let me guess. Checked out of the Archives?”

”Yeah. I had to jump out a window this time. Almost died. It was wild.”

”And digging through ancient data is worth dying for?”

”Yes it is.” He would say to the both of them as he then falls.

”I need a new best friend.” D groans as he then kneels down to help him.

“If there are clues in our recorded history that can help locate the matrix of leadership they’re in the archives. Trust-”

”Sentinel Prime. Thee sentinel prime is up on the surface. Right now. Is risking his life for us in search of the matrix. That’s-“

”Exactly what I’m doing! But I’m trying to help him!”

”Yeah. Oh oh ok.”

”The sooner energon flows again the sooner we won't have to mine for it. Don’t you wanna choose your own path. Do whatever you want?”

Orion would then leave against the cart as D will have both arms on the cart.

”We’re miners. We mine. That’s all”

”No, there's got to be something more I can do. I can feel it.”

”Oh yeah? Like the time that you had a feeling you could transform without a cog?”

”You said you were never going to mention that again!”

”Took me 3 days to pry you open. Your feelings get you in trouble.”

”Yeah. Yeah.”

”Just trust Sentinel Prime.”

”I do trust in him.”

”Hey. If we did have cogs.”

”I’d transform into a shovel and beat you.”

”I don’t like how fast you answered that.

“And listen if you did beat me. I couldn’t give you this awesome Megatronus prime thing I have here. It’s cool I’ll give it to someone else”

”What megatronus prime thing?

”Ah it’s nothing, it's just you know a mid-condition Megatronus prime decal first edition.” Orion would then show to be holding a Megatronus prime sticker between two fingers. Causing D to gasp before speaking.

”What?” He says in a low voice.

”I mean if you don’t want it I could just throw it away.”

”Throw it away!? Don’t- That’s not funny! Let me see it!” D tries to grab it before Orion pulls away.

”Don't grab. You’ll increase it.” Orion would then put the sticker on Ds arm and give his shoulder a nice pat before D speaks

”You know Sentinel prime says Megatronus was the-“

“Strongest Prime to ever live. I know buddy…It looks good on you.”

”It’s really cool. Thanks.

“Always Got Your Back.”

”No Matter What”

The two will the fist bump as they both smile at each other. Showing their brotherhood. (*crys*)don’t look at me)

The train would go into the mines as a lady over the speakers on the train would speak to the minors before their shift.

“Approaching sub level stations .Stand by of doors. Mining teams prepare to-“

The story then shows the works of mines as energon is shown falling out of mining carts. The coal of energon goes through a machine and soon shows energon flowing. Soon the miners for the shift at that hour fly through with rocket packs as they fly in unison to the designated spot. Y/N being behind D and Orion and speaks along with the others when speaking in unison.

“Metal to the pedal drill bits. This is it. How much energon you mine under my leadership.” Elita speaks as the leader she is.

“So much Elita One.” The minors say in unison.

“And how perfect is my mining record?”

“So perfect Elita One.”

“We are near 30 units of energon away from my promotion to supervisor. Are you happy for me?”

“So happy Elita One.”

The minors then land at a mining section. Elita in front with D and Orion right behind her. Y/N right next to Elita walking with here having their hands behind their back. A little smile on their face as usual.

“Elita- I mean Captain. You’re looking especially shiny this morning. New polish?”

Y/N Would look back at the two. Happy to see the two as the two would also look at them happy as Orion and Elita continue to talk.

“Orion Pax I’m sorry if I gave off the impression that we’re friends.”

“Apology accepted.”

“One up that wall! Let’s go! 10 seconds!”

“Happy to take the lead today captain. Feeling like I have enough power in me to drill down and touch primus myself.”

“You don’t have the touch or the power. Ready positions rust buckets. Let’s go!”

Elita would then start running as D and Orion continue to keep walking with their tools. Y/N joining her as they wave at the two before following. Orion and D would wave at them as they both have little cheeky smiles.

“She’s in a good mood today.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“You ready?”

“Always ready. Lets punch it.”

They all would go to a section of the mines as a hole then a path opens up for them with much energon inside. Y/N still next to Elita as they ran along into the tunnel. Other bots behind them setting up a a sort of tool that extends to help keep the tunnel open for them. Once things are set Y/N and the other minors start to fly deeper into the mines. Finally landing and start using their tools. Taking out any peice of energon they can.

“Here we go, this one won't be open long. Brace it up.”

“Here we go! Ready!”

“Our channel is open.”

“Roll it out.”

Orion would glance over at them every now and then while D would focus on work a little more then Orion. Y/N continues their work until they hit something. But as they continued the energon would start reacting aggressively and the cracks wuld start to spread.

”Hey I got som-“

“It’s not stable! Gotta go. Gotta move!”

Everyone would start flying out of the mines flying up. Soon everyone getting pushed more by a explosion of the energon.

“Evacuate! I want everyone out! Evacuate immediately! The tunnel is closing! I repeat. The tunnel is closing!”

Elita an a few other minors fly away not being in the mining path. Jazz, D, Orion, and Y/N still behind in the mine as they keep flying escaping the closing mind right behind them.

“With me D?”

“On your six. Keep going!”

“Jazz? Y/N?”

“Right behind you” the two say together.

“Watch out!”

A giant rock would land on Jazz leg. Y/n was close to him and they already got up to start pushing the rock.

“Jazz is stuck! Elita we got a trapped minor. I’m falling back to assist.”

“Negatives do not break protocol. Evacuate.“

“We’re gonna need more lift!”

”We need a miracle!” Y/N and D said as struggle is heard in both their voices.

“It’s closing! Just grab your pack and go!”

“Good idea.”

“What?! No I didn’t mean it!”

“Pull him clear!” Orion would pull jazz as D and Y/N keep pushing. The pack soon exploding. Orion would protect Jazz as D. and Y/N lean away from the explosion to protect their self.

“Pax what’s happening?”

“Nothing much. Just normal protocol following stuff. It’s all good….oh that’s not good.”

The four would then hear a rumbling sound as they looked back. The place would then cause a sort of electric wave causing dust to go everywhere.

“Orion Pax, would you please exit the tunnel of death.”

“Elita1 it’s about to get messy out there!”

The wave would then reach the others and push Elita and the other minors back. The four are running together as fast as they can. Elita would throw the tools to keep the path open. Y/N behind D as they get closer and closer to the others. Everything is collapsing around them.

“Go go go!”

The four made a jump and were able to get out in time. D having to have talked Elita to save her while Y/N was right behind Orion. They were all able to get out. Y/N face planting on the ground

“What the hell Pax? I told you to evacuate.”

“I did. Eventually.”

Orion says as he and Elita speak while slowly standing up. D standing as he help Y/N giving her a hand. Before turning to help Orion. The three now looking at Elita while she spoke.

“If I get fired because of you!”

“Oh please. They’re not going to fire you.” Darkwing would then land behind her from the ceiling as he looked down at her.

“Elita One, you’re fired.”

“What?! Why? I follow protocol to the letter!”

“That is true. I was the one who broke the rules not-“

“No one asked you. Darkwing please I worked too hard for this you can’t-“

“You are no cog bots with limited options. report to waste management immediately.”

“Waste management?”

Elita would walk towards the three with anger in her eyes. Y/N looked at her sad as they try to reach a hand towards her.

“Elita.”

“Next time, why don’t you stop and think before you ruin someones life.”

“I'm sorry..”

Y/N would then get an idea and walks past the two and up to Darkwing. Getting in front of him after speaking to wheeljack

”The hell is your problem? Elita is just as good as any other like a cog bot I know and we know! OK you-“

”As I said. You are cogless bots with limited options. The only thing that makes any of you special is your ”relentless” need to work and eat. And the only way to get off that. Is to have a cog.”

He would then get in their face. Their face natural but their eyes are now farrowed as they stared up at him. They would then open their mouth only for him to interrupt them

”But we-“

”If you want more such as Elita did before. I suggest you either get better at your job or try a job where you will be a “little more” noticed.” He would put his hand on their shoulder a little closer to their head. D and Orion noticed and the two started to worry until Orion would got an idea

Y/N would look at his hand then look down, almost worried. Darkwings hand showing to squeeze their shoulder a bit.

”I’ll personally take you to the destination myse-“

“Hey Darkwing!” Darkwing takes his hand of them and stands up a bit straighter as he looks at Orion. Y/N look at Orion a bit worried for him

“Don't do it.” D said a bit annoyed with Orion but he mostly watched over Y/N.

“I may not have a cog but my finger can transform. Guess which one. I’ll give you a limited option.” Darkwing would then throw a punch towards Orions head until D stopped his fist with his hand.

“Excuse me sir. Allow me.” He then punches Orion on the side of the face

“I apologies on his behave for the disres-“ Darkwing would then punch D in the face

“whhhyyy”

“D!” Y/N would walk past Darkwing. He would watch them as they kneel down and look at them both. Darkwing would then scoff

“The offer still stands. Don’t let these two cogless scrap hold you back Y/N. They ain’t worth the time.” He says as he stays standing behind them. Crossing his arms as he looked down at him

”I’m fine with just where I am now. “Thanks” Darkwing but I can make my own connections and place as a cogless bot.” They give him side away. While he grumbles and walks away

They would look back at thee two. Orion sitting up as he groans from being punched and D doing the same but a bit slower. They help Orion and then D as they speak.

”Come on guys. Lets go back tot he train. We’re done here.”

The two groan as they say yeah in unison. Orion putting his hand on D shoulder while Y/N had one hand on his chest and the other on his back as he had his arm around their shoulder. The three would walk to the direction and get new jet packs along with everyone else. The three would soon make it to the train and head back to their mining quarters as they were done with that shift for the day.

*On the train-

Orion, D and Y/N stand on the train. D leaning on the window as he rubs the side of his face he was punched at. Orion leaning against the window on his back crossing his arms. Y/N stands as they put their hands on their hips and looks down. Worry and annoyance in their face. Orion notices this. Scratching the back of his head as he stands up a bit straighter and lets his arms down.

”You meant what you said right? Uh back there about the-”

”Yes Orion. I do mean it. Darkwing doesn’t know what he’s talking about when it comes to us miners. Just was he’s been told. At least from my point of view.” They would look at him. Orion smiling a little from their words

”So you will stay with us?”

”I’m at a better place with you guys then anywhere else Pax.” They say as they put their hand on his shoulder. Giving him a warm smile. D would then groan a bit more

”How much longer??”

”Just a couple more minutes D. Then you can rest better bud.”

”Yaaaaaaaayy”

Orion and Y/N would chuckle as they both looked at eachother. The train continueing.

*Back at the minors quarters-

“That. Really. Hurt…”

“Well what did you expect, he’s metal.”

Y/N was standing next to D and puts a hand on his shoulder and their other on their hip as he rests his head on his fist and looks down.

“You know you were out of line. Talking back to a superior like that.”

“Darkwing was out of line. He deserves it…Aren’t you tired of being treated like we’re nothing.”

“He had every right to hit me. I interfered.”

“Hey. And I appreciate you having my back. I’m glad you were there with me to get punched in the face. It was fun.”

“Anytime buddy.”

Y/N would look at them with a warm smile on their face. Crossing their arms as the two would chuckling together. Feeling better right away

“Attention all sectors stand by for a live transmission from Sentinel Prime.”

“He’s back? He’s back already?”

D would look at Orion and Y/N as the two stood up and the three went closer to where the hologram of Sentinel Prime would appear.

“Maybe he found the matrix.”

“Is it on? Ok, thank you. Hello my friends. Hello Iacon city. Hello to our saviors. Industrious miners, who toil ruthlessly to maintain our energon reserves. I celebrate you.”

Y/N next to Orion as D stands on his other side. Orion and Y/N stand their with soft smiles keeping their hands behind their back.

“Humility and presents. That’s leadership. Nobody does it better!” D says looking at the two. The two looking at him happy to see him smile.

“Once again I have narrowly returned with my fleet after another treacherous expedition across the desolate, dangerous surface of our planet. I departed in hopes of finding the matrix of leadership and in bringing balance to Cybertron. I regret to inform you that we’ve returned empty handed. This is a set back. But not a failure. Rest assured. I will find the matrix of leadership so that energon can flow again. but that’s in the future. Right now I think we all deserve a little fun. Tomorrow there will be no work, all shifts off. Because tomorrow is the Iacon 5,000. My favorite event a high obtain race all across Iacon city. Let’s all see which competitive can prove they are truly more than meets the eye.”

Everyone cheered excited thanks to sentinels speeches. D going to another bot to cheer while Orion and Y/N stood there. Orion was deep in though as he thought about Sentinels words. Y/N noticed and put a hand on his shoulder giving him a small smile. Later that night while everyone else was asleep Orion was the only one awake. Looking over at D who was across from him.

“D….Pst. Hey D….Oh good you’re up. Come on, I have an idea.”

“Whatever this is, it better be good.”

“Yeah yeah yeah ok listen. What if- What if- What if! Tomorrow we ran in the Iacon 5000! Huh?”

“What if I kill you for waking me up?”

“No no no hear me out. We don’t even have to win.”

“Nah that’s good ‘cause we wouldn’t.”

“But! If we beat just one transformer it proves we’re just as good as they are.Not only would we go down in history the- the mining bots that did the impossible but we would show everyone that we’re capable of so much more.”

“Or we get publicly humiliated and then busted back to tear one.”

“Yeah but at least we would’ve done something you know?”

“Pax.”

“Come on D-“

“Pax. We’re mining bots who can’t transform. We can’t fly. We can’t roll. We can’t race. Come on lets go.” D would start leaving back to the others to go back to sleep

“All right, fine. Yeah maybe you're right. Maybe…..” He would look at the board his face will show determination as he has his mindset on a new plan he’s sure to work

Oh yeah first chapter of Transformers One story where you’re a miner! Sorry for this being so long but every moment just feels right to add! Can’t wait to power chapter two next week and at least some of you enjoyed this lol. Any feedback or criticisms is welcomed and hope you all have a good rest of your Morning/Afternoon/Night

#transformers one x reader #transformers one #orion pax x reader #d 16 x reader #Elita 1 x reader #Darkwing x reader #i need sleep

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sleepy-sirin · 1 year ago

Text

Incarnation (Honkai Star Rail x Child! Herrscher! Reader)

Summary: In which Y/n, the creation of Will of Honkai, successfully defeated her own creator with the help of her friends. After defeating the Will of Honkai, for using too much of her power she goes into a deep sleep.

Previous | Next chapter

Chapter 6

Third POV:

Everyone took out their weapons and start fighting. Each of the Silvermane Guards attacks the Trailblazers one by one. The guards didn't want to hurt Y/n since she's a child, but it went backfire when she summons her tentacles and wrapped their bodies then suffocate them to death.

One of the Silvermane Guards who remembered you, suddenly got a trauma upon seeing your tentacles, they decided to not to approach you and avoided you.

All of the Silvermane Guards were all defeated and too tired to fight. Bronya seeing the guards was unable to fight again, so she decided to do it herself. It took 30 minutes to finish off their fight.

"This girl's pretty strong... Hey Dan Heng, maybe now's a good time to show off your secret strength!?" March said.

"...You first." Dan Heng said to March.

"Ugh, you're no fun." March said.

"Intruders, give it up! You will be guaranteed a fair trial." Bronya said.

"Ooh! Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the intensity of the moment~" A familiar voice said.

Three smoke bombs were thrown in front of them, as it exploded, the five of them started coughing from the smoke.

*Gasp* "What is this?" Bronya said as she covers her nose from the smoke.

"...I can't breathe..." March said.

Sampo appears from the four of them. "I have one thing to say: Sampo never lets friends who've helped him come to harm."

"I say what I mean... and I mean what I say." He said.

After the smoke was gone, the only ones who were conscious were Sampo, Dan Heng, and Y/n.

"So you decided to come back after you ditched us." Y/n said as she crosses her arms.

"Sorry, but hey! Sampo is here to save you guys!" Sampo said.

Sampo carries Stelle and Dan Heng carries March. The five of them left, leaving Bronya alone.

"Where are we going?" Dan Heng asked.

"Boulder Town, that's where I lived." Sampo said.

They have arrived in Boulder Town, which it is in the underground in Belobog. Sampo said that they will go to a clinic to take their friends who was unconscious a rest.

"Natasha, I'm back! And we have some guests here." Sampo said as he greeted someone. A middle-aged woman with purple eyes and fair complexion. She has blue-gray hair that's bob-like in front with two symmetric strands reaching her shoulders, the back tied in a ponytail.

"Sampo, who are they?" Natasha asked.

"These guys are my new friends." Sampo said.

"We're not your friends." Both Y/n and Dan Heng said.

Y/n didn't want to be here, so she decided to leave the clinic quietly without anyone noticing her. She roams around Boulder Town and noticed that some of the citizens here were whispering behind her back.

A few couple of steps, Y/n hears footsteps behind her, as she turned around a two Vagrants aim their weapons on Y/n. Someone appeared in front of them, they aim their scythe at the Vagrants.

"You dare attack someone on our turf...? Well? How about a few rounds with me?"

A young woman with long purple hair and light purple eyes. She wears a purple scarf with red and white details, as well as a white, black and purple outfit with black shorts. Y/n eyes widened as she saw someone familiar with her, and it was Seele Vollerei.

The Vagrants didn't want to deal with Seele, as they decided to leave them alone.

"Hey, kid. Are you okay." Seele asked.

"I'm fine. Thank you for saving me, Seele." Y/n whisper her name.

Y/n didn't think that she would meet Seele again, after she saw her and Sin Mal sacrifice their selves by combining their power to create a massive explosion killing and getting rid of all Honkai around them.

Flashback

"Are you still crying, Seele?" Sin Mal asked.

*sniffles* "That's enough. I have decided that I will no longer be cowardly and sad... If I have to say it, I'm afraid that such a large-scale quantization ability... is actually unrealizable." Seele said.

For the ability to function in the interior of the moon, Seele and Sin Mal must continue to go deeper and deeper.

To extend her ability to stop time, Sin Mal asked Seele to transform herself into a quantum object.

"It's okay, Seele. It must be possible. Until the end, I will always be by your side." Sin Mal said.

Clocks and gears fell off

Sin Mal was reaching her limit.

"Isn't there a price for all this?"

“Overuse of abilities, the user will get tired, life will be shortened, and the user will die…”

"That's all."

Until the end of her life, Sin Mal finally discovered that what she really wanted to do was accept her fragile self.

Seele and Sin Mal left text messages before leaving to let others know what they had done.

At the end of their lives, both of them thought at the same time——

"Sister Mei, Kyuushou."

"We have a million reluctances."

"We are not willing to leave Sister Bronya to mourn our deaths."

"We ourselves don't want to make sacrifices, whether they are required sacrifices or careless ones."

"But... we don't want to live like this."

"Are we really so small and helpless?"

"Does all our suffering really have meaning as long as it's mixed with precious memories?"

"Born for the wrong reasons, in the wrong world"

"Are they really worth saving?"

"We think it's worth it."

"Because it is us"

"It's also a world where everyone lives."

"For all the pain and trauma in this world, there are still people who are painfully living and breathing"

"To reach the time when everything is paid off"

"To achieve a victorious future"

"Whatever it takes."

"We all want to bring back the miracle called hope."

"This is—our last wish,"

"Let the Will of Honkai see——"

"The power of falling stars!"

Taglist: @starxao

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neutron-stars-collision · 6 months ago

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Deadlines & Commitments

Neil x F!Reader

Chapter 7 - Bermondsey Underground Station

Masterlist; Chapter 6 Summary: You reconnect with Neil a couple of days after the night you spent together. The meeting sparks many questions and revelations. In other news: Tenet agents are a nuisance. Neil knows that best. Warnings: Swearing, explicit language, tiny bits of angst because who would I be without it. Author's Notes: It's been 84 years... but it's here! 🎉 And it's 16k apparently. Sorry about that. As you've noticed my brain (and heart) are all over the place but this story is still very much alive. These two are not letting me go, soo... Let's keep going. Thank you to anyone who's waited this long 💕 I really appreciate you. I've got so much planned for them and very excited to share it with you. And, seeing as from next Saturday I'll be in London for a week, there might be even more inspiration ✨ (I'm definitely taking Jubilee Line from St. John's Wood to Canary Wharf. It's all I'm saying) For now - enjoy two idiots being idiots. And a cameo appearances from the Tenet crew because it's high time Cupid met them ;))) Taglist: @hollandorks, @kristevstewart, @stargirl25 (let me know if you want to be added)

Checking the contents of your bag one last time before leaving the flat, you sighed from the oncoming headache already building behind your temple. What a stupid idea it was to hit the snooze button five times instead of being a big girl and getting up at the first sound of your alarm. Now, thanks to your idiocy, you had no time to get that much-needed hit of caffeine if you were to make it for the usual 7:21 train from St. John’s Wood. And you were keen to make it. If only because you promised him.

You were less eager to admit other reasons motivated the rush, going far beyond an agreement that Neil would not hold it against you if you were to break the promise. Reasons such as the inexplicable itch underneath your skin that started sometime last night upon a reminder that you were going to see him today. For the first time since that night. The nightÔ - now officially trademarked, thanks to your idiotic brain. The feeling did not cease even when you tried to remind yourself that there was nothing extraordinary about what transpired then. No actual reason to behave in this irrational way.

Nothing of importance happened. Nothing ground-breaking or life-changing. Just an expected result of weeks of flirting and tension triggered by a bottle of red wine and a natural connection. Just spectacular sex.

If you dared add. A self-satisfied smile stretched over your face at a mere memory, powering you through those final steps before you could leave the apartment and lock the doors, bounding down the steps with no concern over the noise. Fuck the neighbours. Or something like that.

By now, four days later, you were quite good at getting rid of the confusing thoughts the moment they bloomed. Not seeing Neil certainly helped, as did the harrowing afternoons and evenings devoted to the performances. On the stage, you never had the time to think about nonsense such as this, focused on executing the choreography and maintaining that signature, flirtatious Cupid smile that was even rewarded a mention in one of the first ballet reviews. (Truly, a highlight of your unmemorable life if you were to be honest).

The other thing that helped make sense of the mess in your head was Neil’s phone call. It acted as a push in the right direction, a reminder that you had to be the reasonable one. The one to guide him along, highlighting the facts as there were. That the night mattered, in the meaning that it was hardly forgettable. Nothing had to change between you. And most importantly, Neil was the one calling the shots because you were more than happy to continue.

You repeated those truths in the quiet of your head until they felt like certainties. And now, finally, they did. On a cloudy Wednesday morning, you could freely admit you knew what you were doing. The Friday night confusion was just a glitch, an inconsequential event in the grand scheme of things that would bear no impact. Now or ever.

Smiling as you shouldered past the loitering tourists at the entrance to the station, you allowed yourself a nod. Everything was in order. The last piece of the puzzle – Neil’s say in the matter – was the only thing missing.

Despite the wish to remain as detached as possible, you hoped it would be a ‘yes’ rather than the opposite. Even if only because your selfish soul did not want to let him go. Just yet.

The 7:21 train arrived at the platform as you stepped off the escalator and rushed into the middle carriage. By now, your gaze was trained on finding Neil with embarrassing speed, eyes darting over the faces of commuters until they would find what they sought. Today, it took less than ten seconds to locate him, sat in one of the double-seat rows. Neil must have been on the lookout as well, for as soon as your eyes fell on him, you found him staring back. An unshakeable shiver travelled down your spine as Neil’s mouth quirked into a smile. Friendly, yet uncertain. As if he was debating the possibility that you could turn on your heel and leave instead of crossing the space to join him. The idea seemed ridiculous enough that you had to smother a laugh as you fell into the plastic seat with a bright grin ready on your face.

There was no other place you would rather be. Truly.

“Hi,” raising your hand in a pointless wave, you widened the obnoxious grin and allowed yourself another scanning look over his face.

Nothing seemed to be amiss except for the slight weariness in his gaze, as if, for Neil, the few days apart did not eradicate the doubts and worries. As if he was still not sure where you would go from here. Or how he should act around you now. After everything.

You vowed to erase his concerns before you were to part at Southwark. That simply would not do.

“Hey…” Neil murmured the complimentary greeting, his hands flexing in his lap. Before you could decide to reach over and still their nervous twitching, a flash of pain passed through your skull, making you wince. That did not go unnoticed “Are you okay?” the softness of his tone made your heart give out a warning summersault.

With anyone else, you would heed the warning and do everything to get rid of the strange sensation filling your chest. With Neil, you could only swallow past the feeling and offer him a dimmed smile and an honest reply:

“Yeah, it’s just a headache. I didn’t have the time for coffee if I wanted to make it” the grumpiness shone through your voice as you pressed your fingers against the throbbing spot on your temple and sent an inward curse to the gods responsible for the passage of time.

With half the mind to start digging in your bag for the painkiller that was definitely (hopefully) somewhere inside, you did not clock Neil’s movements until he tapped your knee and placed a takeaway coffee cup in your line of vision. Startled, you turned your head to look at him, an unasked question already on your tongue.

“Here, you can finish this” flashing you an easy smile, Neil all but shoved the lukewarm cup into your hand.

Your brain needed additional minutes to process the unforeseen developments as you tightened the hold over the cup and regarded him silently. Only then the shocked, delighted smile made an appearance on your face:

“Good god, I didn’t know we’re at the stage where we’re sharing caffeine sources” the faux gasp was a worthwhile addition, triggering Neil’s laughter.

For a split second, you were content to bask in the glory of it and the knowledge that you were the sole cause. You did this to him.

Still, the sentiment was true. You could barely recall the last time someone was kind enough to buy coffee for you, let alone share theirs. And never on their own accord, leaving you almost lightheaded from the tenderness of the gesture. You stifled the feeling with another exaggerated smile.

“Do you want it or not?” Neil arched his eyebrow, aiming for sternness but failing.

You could see the joy in his eyes, lighting them from within.

“Oh, I do, I do” sending him one last grin, you raised the cup to your mouth and took a long sip. As that first taste of the cappuccino hit your tastebuds, you stifled a pleased groan and relaxed into the seat, “Thank you, kind Sir” tipping an invisible top hat at Neil, you cherished another chuckle dragged out of him and added, “You’ve saved my life” taking another sip, you met Neil’s gaze, seemingly unwavering in its focus on your face.

You watched as his eyes roamed over your features to glance at your mouth and stay there. Stuck perhaps. Without daring to give it second thoughts, you allowed your tongue to dart out and swipe over your lips. Even then, you did not look away from Neil, feeling the electricity crackle and snap between you. Another beat passed before he looked up, startled and caught with the blush dusting his cheeks. It was impossible not to chuckle, breaking the tension by looking away.

Not without effort. And not for long.

“Eternally at your service” you got as far as downing the coffee before Neil spoke again, his quip making you inhale sharply.

Being caught unaware by blatant flirting was new. Unprecedented, yet not unwelcome. And easily redeemed. You turned your head to meet Neil’s unwavering gaze and offered a knowing smirk, matching his expression. Without wasting another second, you leaned in closer, eradicating the gap between you and pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek.

“You are, aren’t you?” the question did what you needed it to as Neil leaned back enough to meet your gaze again and quirked the corner of his mouth into a pleased smile.

The awkwardness of those first few minutes seemed to be past you now, overtaken by the easy banter. You settled into the feeling and the comfort it brought without trying to understand why that was the case. It was better that way.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you felt Neil’s gaze back on you. Its weight was not a burden, leisurely caressing the outlines of your body before opening the page for a new question:

“So… How’s work?” you glanced at Neil just in time to see his easy smile, the interest clear in his eyes.

That part of your friendship was something you valued highly because you could not find it anywhere else. With anyone else. Only Neil seemed to care about the mechanics of professional ballet and the trials and tribulations it entailed. Only he seemed curious about your goals and aspirations, always so eager to hype you up despite you never asking for it.

You were sure the soft smile was already present on your face as you offered him a reply:

“It’s good. Got stellar reviews, as I’ve told you, and now the other Cupid is taking over for a couple of days so I can prepare for the auditions for the next one” the mention of what awaited spiked your anxiety, even if only by a fraction.

Because the prospect was terrifying. Even with the hours of prep and previous season’s experience, you could not ignore the fears. There was no certainty you were good enough to get another breaking role. There was no confidence in that matter either if you had to search your heart and soul. There was only fear nagging at the edges of your conscience with increasing urgency.

You knew it would only get worse in the span of half a week that was left.

“The Nutcracker?” Neil’s complimentary question kept you anchored in the present.

It also proved that he listened to all the bullshit you spewed every time you met. And that, much like shared coffee and the desire to get to know you, was worth more than you could express. More than you dared contemplate if you wanted to maintain the relatively unbothered mood and the illusion of nonchalance.

“Yeah. I’ll prepare a couple of variations and hope for the best” only when you felt Neil’s hand cover yours did you become aware of your fidgeting, of the restless fingers picking at the hangnails. The comforting weight of his palm stilted the movement and offered bravery you did not realise you needed to speak the thoughts into existence, “I could show you what I’ve got in a couple of days,” the wavering notes of your voice made you cringe, instantly removing any pretence of cool you wished you could maintain. If only because you cared. Too much “If you-” the end of that rambled disclaimer was cut short.

Thank god.

“I’d like that” Neil squeezed your hands and sent you a reassuring smile, somehow already knowing what it was that you needed, “Seems like I’m already experiencing the withdrawal symptoms” the candid tone did nothing to help you ignore his wink or minimise the impact of the statement.

You blinked twice as your brain absorbed and processed the words. Only then you turned towards Neil with a deadpan expression and asked:

“… from my unremarkable dancing?” measuring him up silently, you took passive note of the station you had just arrived at.

There was still time. Time to offer Neil space to take back what he just bestowed on you. For him to deny the praise hidden in the corners of his affectionate smile and within the light in his eyes. But he did not seem eager to backtrack on the words you did not think you deserved.

“From your incredible dancing, Cupid,” signing off the accolade with another one of his charming smiles, he lifted your hand to his lips and turned it to press a fleeting kiss to the inside of your wrist.

Over the pulse point. A gasp was inevitable as you closed your eyes and let the sensation burn through your body and soul. Just as Neil intended. It was fleeting, yet the impact felt almost permanent. Impossible to shake off.

You did your best, opening your eyes to see his pleased smirk and ignoring it entirely to huff in pretend annoyance:

“Christ, you’re such a charmer” an eye roll thrown into the mix completed the act as Neil let go of your hand and let it drop back to your lap.

The sensation persisted, making your skin tingle. Unconsciously, your thumb rubbed over the exact spot he kissed. It did nothing to eradicate the sensitivity.

“You like it, though” mindless of your turmoil, Neil bumped his shoulder into yours, the dangerous grin blooming on his beautiful face.

It took you one look to know you were foolish to think one night with him could have been enough. Stupid to believe Neil was someone you could let slip through your fingers after getting to have him. Now, with the decision entirely up to him, you could only wait, taking what was freely offered. With that reminder, it was easy to forgo the remains of pretence. Even if just this once. Once more.

“You’re right” the only sign that he was not expecting your straightforward answer was how his eyes widened, roaming over your face with renewed intensity. By now, you knew there was no point in trying to decipher his looks, so you simply stared back. Unwavering and confident in what you wanted him to know, “I like you,” noting the slight hitch in his breath, you added, “Neil,” emphasizing his name the way you did on Friday night, you met his increasingly alarmed gaze and offered a smile. A wordless reassurance that he need not fret that you have gone insane. Not yet, anyway. Before the charged moment could evolve into something you could not control, you swallowed hard and asked the only question that required no thinking or clarity of mind, “How’s the parish?”

The manic grin, signing off the not-subtle change of topic, was a touch too much. Admittedly. It slid off your face as quickly as it appeared and was buried in the hard stare you directed at the dirty floor of the carriage.

But not for long.

“Great, many… devotees and all” the joy in Neil’s voice alone was not enough to make you look up.

But it was enough to make you crack a tentative smile, relieved that the joke still had not gone stale. You quite enjoyed it. For whatever reason.

Following the hopeful thought, you raised your head again to meet his gaze. On the periphery of your attention, you noticed the fact that Neil had never looked away, but you filed the knowledge for future use (that would likely never come) and instead offered him a cheeky look:

“All that jazz?” framing your face with infamous jazz hands, you waited with bated breath for the quip to land.

It did with an uproar of laughter and Neil’s striking eyes gazing at you with something you could not decipher if you tried. Wordlessly, you offered him something similar, an affectionate look that spoke words you never could force your tongue to form. It spoke of comfort. Of being understood like never before. The gratitude in Neil’s face was worth the risk.

“Jazz and hymnals,” offering you another manic grin, he broke the eye contact to glance at the floor. Before you could begin to think of something to say, Neil swallowed hard and spoke again, “Actually, I wanted to ask if you wanted to join me and some of my work friends in a pub on Friday?” the only sign that he was nervous was the slight tremble in his voice, followed with close to no time given for your answer, before Neil dived into another winded explanation, “It’s just a hangout, but ever since I dared mention that I met a ballerina, they won’t stop pestering me about you” a nervous chuckle tore from his parted mouth, making you look up and study him closely. That strange shyness seemed to be back, as always out of place on such a beautiful face. It bloomed along the sharp lines of his cheekbones and in how he picked at the chapped skin of his bottom lip with his teeth. Without thinking, you covered his fidgeting hands with yours. A gentle squeeze was all the confirmation you needed to know it was a good call, “So I want to introduce you” his earnest eyes met yours, but before you could even think about the answer, Neil added, “As my friend” he nodded, once and curtly as if convincing himself of what he just said and he fell silent.

The resulting pause was almost hard to absorb. It rang in your ears like an explosion. That was not something you expected to hear. Probably never. Not from Neil. Admittedly, the concept of him talking about you with someone else seemed foreign enough to be nonsense. Not probable.

And yet. You did not have to search your heart to know what the answer was supposed to be.

Aware of the few different ways you could approach it, you chose to fall back on what came naturally. Unlike honesty and vulnerability.

“As long as no one asks me to get on my knees and pray, I’m in” shooting Neil a smirk that felt a tad too much, you waited for his startled gaze to meet yours and winked, dropping your voice a notch to share what was meant for his ears only “And yes, I would get on my knees for other reasons” there was nothing to add there.

And nothing to take back either. No regrets as you stared at Neil, patiently awaiting a response. All the while, your fingers kept the loose hold over his hand, brushing over his knuckles in repetitive moves to soothe the both of you. Even if you would never admit as much.

You watched as the shock in his eyes gave way to begrudged acceptance, disappointed yet not surprised by your constant desire to be a nuisance. It was almost flattering. It made your blood sing with a spark of something you were keen to assign to pure exhilaration. And arousal, too.

“I didn’t ask” after what felt like ages of silence, Neil swallowed hard and made an effort to look away from you, feigning disinterest.

Still, his fingers squeezed yours, betraying the act. Smiling, you squeezed back and disentangled your hand from his as you took note of the approaching station. It was funny (and fucking annoying) how fast time seemed to pass when one wanted to cherish every second.

“But you wanted to,” shrugging upon Neil’s arched eyebrow and an indignant noise of protest that was never going anywhere, you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek fleetingly and got up from the seat “Give me time and place, and I’ll be there” smiling in the face of his utter bewilderment, you added, “On my best behaviour” a glance out the window showed you the tiled wall of the Southwark station, and signalled that it was high time to move.

Unfortunately.

“Like right now?” the humour in Neil’s voice was a reason to look back at him, taking note of the delight you could see on his face.

It proved all you already knew. He enjoyed it. All of it. Your insanity included. The understanding was enough to make you grin like a mad woman and nod:

“Yes, exactly,” the carriage drew to a slow stop, and people rushed from their seats as you gripped the railing and met Neil’s gaze for another prolonged moment.

“Perfect,” mirroring your smile, Neil’s mouth twisted into another trademark smirk.

The doors slid open with the PA message talking of gaps and stations. You raised your hand in a brief wave as you let the tide of commuters lead you onto the platform and away from Neil.

Not bad for a first meeting. Right?

***

In hindsight, which was a gift many possessed, but Neil decidedly did not, it was probably expected, that his friends would take every opportune moment to ask about Cupid. Even when taking a short break in the common room. Even when he was halfway through the second espresso of the day (and a third cup of coffee, because whoever needed sanity, anyway?). Even when it was the last thing he expected. Or, perhaps, especially then.

“How’s your ballerina, mate?” the question arrived exactly when Neil had his mouth full of coffee and was too busy staring at his phone to realise he was targeted with another of Ives’ laser stares.

A coughing fit, brought forward by the ever so graceful tendency to choke on drinks whenever cornered, was the only answer Neil was capable of for the first ten seconds. Glaring at Ives with what he hoped was enough murderous intent to make the soldier reflect on his actions, he put the cup on the coffee table in front and glanced at the remaining person in the room. Just to anticipate further assault, should it follow. Naturally.

Wheeler seemed unbothered, sipping her daily green tea and scrolling on the phone. But by now, Neil knew better than to ignore her existence. With one final warning look in her direction, he turned back to Ives. Just in time to see an infuriating grin spread over the man’s face, begging to be wiped with a punch. Ignoring the urge to do just that, Neil offered a reply:

“She’s… good. Great” the words felt flat, not measuring up to everything Cupid was.

But it was also the only admiration Neil was willing to impart to them. Those words were safe, not betraying the exact depths of his affection. He might not be embarrassed about how much he valued Cupid and every little thing about her, but he was certainly not eager to get into another conversation that would lead nowhere. The teasing was awful, as it was already.

“Of course she is,” Ives’ repartee muttered loudly enough to be heard by Neil from the other side of the room was accompanied by another of his annoying smirks.

Was Neil a better, smarter person, he probably would have ignored it. But he was neither better nor smarter. The spark of exasperation has been lit, burning through his chest with increased ferocity. But, sadly, no matter how frustrated Neil felt, he knew that none of it warranted physical violence. Yet, that is.

So, leaning back on the sofa to at least maintain physical comfort, since the mental one was not available, Neil chose to channel the ire into words.

“Your point?” arching his eyebrow, he focused his gaze on the current enemy of the state, awaiting an answer. When nothing followed except for Ives’ nonchalant shrug and Wheeler’s scoff in the background, he continued, “Never mind, I don’t care” he knew he sounded like a petulant child throwing a tantrum, but there was hardly anything to do but push onwards, choosing this moment to drop the news his ‘friends’ (way too generous term) surely would be interested in “I invited her to the pub, by the way,” Neil could feel the grin making its place on his face, erasing any pretence of indifference “Tomorrow” even the reminder alone was enough to spark the excitement.

Alongside it, he could feel the inklings of anxiety bloom to life. If only because he had no idea how Cupid would react to the antics of his friends. Or whether his dear crew was even capable of surviving her. He pushed past the worrying thoughts for the time being by reaching out for the cookies on the table. The sweetness of chocolate chips melted on his tongue, eradicating the fears. For now.

“Why?” this time, Ives’ question was stripped of all remaining nonchalance and certainty.

He was not expecting that. Neil’s mouth twisted into a smirk, revelling in satisfaction. He met the man’s surprised stare with confidence, taking in the uncertainty coming to life underneath that cocksure act his friend liked to maintain. Well, no more.

One glance at Wheeler confirmed the upper hand he has seemingly achieved, making Neil push forward:

“Because maybe once you meet her, you’ll stop being so annoying about this,” the steel edge in his tone was not something he could explain.

Except that he suddenly felt the need to defend the relationship with the woman in question against all forms of offence. Even imaginary.

“No chance, sweetheart” it seemed that Ives did not need as much time as Neil hoped to recover.

The grin was back on his face, accompanied by a wink. Outrageous. Ignoring the sudden urge to hiss like a furious cat, Neil rolled his eyes and dropped his gaze to the table.

Despite her suspicious silence, he could feel Wheeler’s eyes boring holes into his head from her perch in the corner of the room. That was a ticking bomb, awaiting her moment in the chaos to blow up. Or, less dramatically put, waiting for her time to shine and ask a question Neil knew he would not be able to answer. It hung over his head like the guillotine’s blade.

“Yeah, I worried as much,” punctuating the annoyance with a huff, he raised his head with renewed determination. It fueled the words he needed to be spoken, “Still, Cupid is delightful, so you’ll sure like her” it was as much a certainty as it was a plea.

A hopeful thought. A dose of wishful thinking, indeed.

Somewhere at the back of his head, Neil became aware of the many different words to describe her whirling around his brain, thousands of synonyms and endearments scratching at his consciousness. As if desperate to be heard. To make a point. But there was no point to make here. Cupid was a delight. She was also the most beautiful woman he had ever met. She was someone he could not have. But that was alright. It really was.

“I’ve no doubts about that” Wheeler’s voice broke the silence, startling Neil. He turned his head sharply to face her, noticing the quiet confidence visible in her sharp green gaze. Still, he appreciated the vote of trust, “Did you kiss?” the question exploded with the force of an atomic bomb.

As he should have expected. The nonchalance in her face told Neil he fucked up, ignored the signs, and now he has been left gaping at his two tormentors with no way out of the interrogation. Well, he could have just got up and left. But Neil was also pretty sure he would be cornered in the lift next. Or on the stairs. Or wherever else it was possible to torture him. Sighing heavily, Neil sagged onto the sofa and covered his face with his hands. A deep breath or two were in order. Perhaps he was overreacting. The dramatic tendencies yet again won with any sense of logic or stoicism. As always.

Fuck it. Heaving another weary sigh, Neil raised his head to stare at the wall as he stammered:

“I- We-” finally, he summoned enough courage to say what needed to be said, “Yeah… we did” with the speed of his thoughts at the minute, it was no surprise that the brain did not get the memo to stop fucking talking. No surprise at all to hear himself add another tidbit of information, almost without his conscious decision to do so, “We also had sex” as soon as the words left this mouth, Neil groaned, barely resisting the urge to get up and flee the scene with burning cheeks and mortification capable of killing him on the spot.

The fact that this sometimes happened – saying things before he was even aware he was doing it – was embarrassing enough. Especially now. The silence in the room upon his ill-timed admission felt thick enough to be cut with a knife. Even a butter knife. Unwilling to see the exact reactions on the faces of his companions, Neil trained his gaze on the floor, feeling the blood rush in his ears, the pulse pounding with worrying speed. He could feel their stares, boring holes in his head and trying to peer inside.

“You- what?” in the few years of knowing Ives, Neil was sure he had never heard the man quite so flabbergasted.

If it were not so surprising he would almost find the reaction offensive. Because why was it so unexpected? He tried not to ponder the answers to that question.

“Last Friday, after the ballet,” throwing the background information with as much indifference as possible, Neil slowly raised his head.

He was met with a wide-eyed stare from Ives’, his bright blue eyes seemingly stuck in a constant state of shock. Yeah, that was that when it came to not being offended. Exasperation rose in his chest, tempting Neil to do something very stupid. But before he could utter another word, Wheeler’s question filled the silence:

“So, you’re together now?” contrasting her trusted partner in crime, the brown-haired woman appeared disturbingly calm.

She put down the cup of tea with a measured move and rested her hip against the cupboards, unnervingly staring at Neil.

There was no need. He seemed unable to keep quiet anyway.

“No, of course not. I’ve told you that she doesn’t do relationships. It’s just sex” this was an answer long prepared, something he could recite from the heart. Why that was, Neil dared not think. Instead, he shrugged, for the umpteenth time within the past ten minutes, wishing to exit the conversation and escape to the North Pole. Or someplace like that. Polar bears were sure much better company to the two idiots he was paired off with presently, “Why are you staring at me like that, Ives?” he could hear the edge in his voice, the sharpness of vowels revealing the depths of annoyance.

The last thing Neil needed was someone sowing doubts about what was unchangeable. Not now when he finally began to feel settled again, for the first time since that fateful Friday night. Now, when he was so close to giving Cupid the answer. Now, when he almost felt like he knew what he wanted to do about it.

Not now.

“Because I think you’ve gone insane” there was no dose of mercy or understanding in Ives’ reply; the man focused his blue-eyed gaze on Neil without respite, clearly driven to say his part. For better or for worse, “You don’t do casual sex. With anyone” before Neil could offer an interjection at what was clearly not true, the man continued. Somehow filled with more passion and conviction, “Christ, I’m pretty sure you turned down at least three girls for that very reason last year. You’re a romantic, Neil” the sign-off proved to be the last straw.

Neil rolled his eyes against the allegation and stood up, fire blazing in his gaze. For whatever reason, he did not know. Except that something in the impertinent tirade of his friend irked him beyond compare.

Yes, maybe what Ives said was true. Maybe he turned down offers for casual sex before. But that did not mean a thing. Because all those other women were not her. They were not worth changing his ideals for what could also prove to be an unsatisfactory result. Only she seemed worth the risk.

And yes, Neil was aware of how pathetic that sounded. He shook his head against the ridiculous thoughts and paced the room before finding apt words to defend his choices. Not that he had to defend anything, of course. Still-

“No, I’m not” if that was a stretch, no one had to be any wiser. Just in case, however, Neil trained his gaze on the floor instead of looking at his companions, “Just because I’ve never done it before doesn’t mean I can’t now” there, that sounded perfectly composed and reasonable “It’s fine. I like her, and we’ve got a good thing going” finishing the speech with the only sentiment he was moderately sure of, Neil risked a glance at his friends.

Ives still looked infuriatingly impassioned, as if barely holding himself back from making more incorrect assumptions, but it was Wheeler’s expression that made Neil falter. His restless eyes finally found purchase for more than a second at a time. If only so he could understand what that introspective look in her eyes meant. And what potential trouble could it bring.

“If you say so,” Ives’ dejected reply almost went unnoticed, falling under the radar as the man sighed heavily, as it was him who was being violently verbally attacked.

The audacity was something else.

“We’re just worried about you. We’d rather avoid a repeat of the last time someone broke your heart” Wheeler’s voice was laced with concern as she breached the space and placed her hand on Neil’s shoulder with a stoic yet meaningful look in her eyes.

The tight smile completed the picture as she squeezed his shoulder and left as quickly as she had approached him. Still, the gesture lingered, making Neil falter. Because he knew what Wheeler meant. He knew it too well. Sometimes during those darkest moments, he could still remember how it felt. The searing pain in his chest and the inescapable knowledge that he was not enough. That he never would be. That the heartbreak would follow him wherever he went because there was no universe in which Neil was destined for a happily ever after.

Sometimes, it was easy to believe that, too.

Most of the time, however, he ignored those thoughts. Like now, when that first sting of tears at the back of his eyelids spelt trouble and unwanted attention. When he could feel the tightness in his throat threaten to trigger something no one wanted to see in public. Not now. Not ever.

Instead, Neil plastered on another obnoxious grin. The blinding strength of it was almost enough to get rid of the residual feelings.

“Well, worry not! It won’t happen” to reinforce the intended effects, Neil notched up the cockiness in his smirk and flopped back onto the sofa with all the air of someone certain they were making correct decisions.

Or, at least, that was the hope. That no one would see past his act despite the edges of the mask slipping with every second.

Taking a fortifying breath, Neil swallowed hard and settled against the cushions, hoping the softness would anchor him. A glance at the watch confirmed his hopes – not much time was left till he had somewhere to be. A handy excuse to leave faintly appeared on the horizon, teasing him with potential and salvation. Only, it still had to wait…

As soon as the faint hope glimmered, making Neil feel a tiny bit better about his current situation, Ives broke the silence. The only way he knew how:

“So… how was the sex?” Neil’s head swivelled in the direction of the man at breakneck speed, a blush already blooming on his cheeks.

It was mortifying how little it took to reduce him to a blushing fool these days. How one mention of Cupid, or the moment they shared, was enough to render him incapable of acting like a grown-up. How there was nothing to do about it but groan out loud and cover his face with his hands, hoping to escape the scrutiny. While knowing it was too late, anyway.

Before he could find an apt response (or any words at all, in fact), Wheeler interrupted the silence with her frustrated sigh, annoyance tinting the words:

“Ives, for fuck’s sake…” even without looking at her friend, Neil knew she was rolling her eyes, equally fed up with Ives’ antics.

Not for the first time, he felt gratitude for her existence and the constant intolerance of bullshit. Neil hoped to convey as much through a quick smile, shot in her direction sometime between staring at the floor and pondering the best course of action. She smiled back, briefly dropping the disinterested frown that seemed at home on her face whenever friendship dramatics unfolded. Which was more often than Neil would like to admit.

Apparently, a penchant for drama was a contagious trait. Sadly.

“What? I gotta ask the important questions” the lack of remorse on Ives’ face told Neil all he needed to know about the situation.

There was either option a – leaving the room as he stood, without a further word or a gesture, aware that he would be cornered by his dear friend shortly. There was also option b – answering the question in the vaguest way possible and hopefully buying himself time and necessary peace.

Was it really a choice? Sighing heavily, Neil strengthened his back and met the awaiting blue gaze with what he hoped to be confidence.

“Very good. Might I say euphorically good,” he could feel the smirk make home on his face as memories followed the words, offering a gratifying reel of moments he was sure he could never forget. It never failed to make him grin like an idiot and consider doing something reckless like calling Cupid and asking her out. As a friend, that is. A friend you wanted to have sex with again. Instead, he allowed himself to soften the voice and add, “She’s… incredible” it was a severe understatement, but then the present company was not worth hearing peans he could bestow upon her.

Those words were meant for her ears only. And yes, he knew how it sounded. How it pointed towards things Neil was not admitting, not even to himself. But that, too, was best ignored. Forever.

Before Neil could find the necessary words to follow the admission and, hopefully, exit the conversation altogether, the door creaked. All three pairs of eyes snapped towards it, displaying different stages of shock and bewilderment.

Neil watched as The Protagonist stepped inside, the dynamic of his movements stopping on the threshold as the man took in the scene presented before him. Cocking an eyebrow in a silent question, the older man closed the door behind his back and regarded them coolly.

“Uh oh,” the phrase, offered casually, without a dose of interest or intrigue, was accompanied by another taxing look.

Worryingly, it was focused on Neil only. The dark eyes of his best friend (and boss) scanned him from head to toe, undoubtedly clocking everything he hoped to conceal. Stifling the sudden urge to drown himself in the cup of lukewarm coffee someone abandoned on the table hours before, Neil sagged on the sofa. That was not going to be fun.

“Uh oh, indeed” even without looking at him, Neil could tell Ives was smirking.

Feeling the three pairs of eyes focus on him again, he groaned.

He was completely and utterly fucked, it seemed.

***

Usually, Friday evenings in the pub were not associated with anxious thoughts or fidgeting hands, interchangeably tugging and relaxing the chain clasped around your neck. But that was not a usual Friday night, and no amount of mental coaching could change that fact or convince you to stop worrying. No, the nerves seemed ingrained in the fabric of your soul as you exited the Leicester Square station and rushed through the streets of Chinatown, rapidly filling with people. You swallowed past the overwhelming onslaught of worries and pushed onwards, only briefly stopping underneath the red lanterns to double-check the location and whether you were still on the course.

When Neil sent you the address earlier that day, you admitted that the choice of locale was greatly appreciated. That was your hunting ground so to speak. The streets, where you felt most at home, with the bright lights proceeding your steps and the bustle of the city filling your heart. But even the comfort of the familiar environment did not eradicate the fears. The millions of what-ifs swirling around in your head all pointing out that one crucial fact – there was no guarantee that his friends would like you. None at all.

And the alternative was too terrifying to consider. Admittedly, this was not a place you visited often. Not a predicament you knew too well. Because, usually, you could not care less. Did not give a flying fuck about whether someone liked you or even accepted you because if they did not – well, their loss. But those life rules did not seem applicable this time. Not when the stakes suddenly seemed higher than gaining a stranger’s sympathy. Even though you could hardly explain what the alternatives were and why they scared you quite so much.

Glancing up from the phone screen, you double-checked the pub name with the address typed into the search bar and closed the app. Pocketing the device, you crossed the street and stopped just before the doorway. The bar was half-full, the music not quite booming yet filling the interior with cosiness and warmth that beckoned you inside, sparking the courage that began to flicker in your heart. As if sensing your moment of indecision, your phone buzzed. A single text from Neil appeared on the screen:

/✝️, 8:03 pm/ I’m here if you’re early.

Despite the nerves, you grinned. A ridiculous giggle escaped your throat as you pushed the door and entered the pub. That was a sign if you ever saw one. The contrasting warmth seeped into your bones as you unzipped the jacket and manoeuvred around the tables to the room in the back. This part of the bar was empty, save for a larger table in the corner. As soon as you entered the space, Neil raised his head and met your gaze with a bright smile. It was impossible not to grin back, taking in the warm light reflecting in his golden hair and the undone top buttons of his navy shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Even now, after everything, the sight never failed to make your pulse quicken, revealing the truth you could not ignore. That you wanted him. Still.

Probably more so now that you knew what it was like to have him.

That reminder alone was a reason to push all thoughts to the back of your mind and close the remaining gap in three steps. Shooting him an overly confident grin as a greeting, you drew back the chair opposite Neil’s and took off your jacket, draping the covering over the backrest and sitting down without as much as a word. If Neil noticed the unusual silence, he did not show it, instead following your every move with curiosity in his eyes. Once you were settled and allowed yourself to rest your gaze on him, Neil’s smile softened into something fragile. Something kinder than you were used to. You basked in the warmth of his expression as he broke the silence:

“I’m glad you came” that same affection tinted the simple sentiment, quieting the nerves in your head, even if only for a second.

For whatever reason, the fears seemed worth it if that was the reaction you earned by going through the pains of what was coming. It was shining in the blue of his eyes, luring you in like a spell. Without thinking about it, you darted a hand forward and quickly patted his hands, folded atop the table. The corner of his mouth twitched, clearly noticing your gesture. It was a nice feeling to be seen like that, appreciated for every tiny thing you did or said.

“Well, I promised, didn’t I?” the awkwardness slipped out alongside a weak chuckle you attempted, hoping to balance out the sudden pull towards seriousness in this conversation. You weren’t supposed to be serious, “When are-” the question, the only one you could think of suddenly, got cut short by Neil’s answer.

“In about ten minutes. They might be late, though” he glanced at the watch, almost in an afterthought.

Unashamedly, you let out a long sigh, feeling weariness fade for a short while. Ten minutes seemed like an apt time to settle. Or at least enjoy what you have right here and now. What you feared to lose more than you could admit.

Where was courage when one needed it desperately?

“Cool…” your knuckles rapped against the table, hoping to find the bravery in the rhythmless sound, but to no avail. You looked up, instantly caught in Neil’s blue gaze, staring back at you intently. As always. As if there was anything of interest that he could find only on your face, “Can I ask you something?” there was no way of getting rid of the tremors in your voice.

“Always,” Neil nodded, generous enough to spare you the suspense.

Taking a deep breath, you raised your head once more, plunging into the deep end:

“Are we still going to be friends if they hate me?” with no right way for a question like this to come out, you still cringed, wincing as soon as the words left your mouth.

Clingy. Pathetic. So unlike what you thought you knew about yourself. And yet. Because that was the crux of the issue. This deeply rooted fear that Neil’s presence in your life could disappear suddenly without a warning or a reason. A fear you did not understand or experienced before. It was terrifying.

Before your brain could unleash the ramblings, erasing any evidence of the question ever having been asked, you felt Neil’s hand gently cover yours. Despite knowing better, you looked up in time to see another soft smile grace his beautiful features. It mellowed the sharpness of the angles and eased the pain of looking at him.

A pain you were gladly braving every day if it meant you could keep on staring at him. With no desire to understand what that said about you.

“Obviously,” the lack of hesitation on Neil’s part bolstered the faint hope in your soul. It only got stronger as you saw him search your gaze with intent before Neil squeezed your hands and added, “Although I can assure you that they won’t hate you” the lack of judgement in his eyes seemed almost out of place.

A stupid question like that was bound to be judged and ridiculed. Surely. Except Neil did not seem to think so. The realisation made you feel lightheaded. It made no sense in the world order you knew.

You shook your head against the confusion and flipped the hand lying on the table so you could entangle your fingers with his. The softness of his palm moulded to yours as you arched an eyebrow, your face still a picture-perfect of calm:

“How can you be so sure, sunshine?” it was not in your nature to accept reassurance without trying to undermine it. You could tell Neil knew as much. It was there in the utter lack of surprise in his gaze as you prodded, his hand a comforting weight in yours. It helped you take a deep breath and confess what usually remained unsaid, “I know I’m… a lot” your eyes fluttered shut upon the unprecedented display of honesty.

You knew it was true, a fact many thought and no one admitted out loud. Except maybe when they stopped talking to you, leaving you behind without an explanation or an apology. That is when you easily concluded that it has happened again. You were too much. Too much to handle without being enough. Took up too much space without having anything substantial to say or do with it. Asked for too much despite not being worth even an ounce of it. Yeah, that.

It was always like that. So why would it be different this time?

Although you could feel Neil’s piercing gaze on your face, you did not dare look up. Instead, you tightened the hold over his hand and let your thumb brush his skin. The repetitiveness of the caress anchored you in the present. Sometimes, when you were brave enough to contemplate the reality, you marvelled at how easy it was to be like this with him. How you could touch Neil so effortlessly, without worrying about how it would be interpreted or what he could ask for in return.

“You contain multitudes. In the best way,” the affection in his voice made you push against the ridiculous thoughts and look up, even if only to see that same softness reflected in his eyes, “And I’m sure because I can’t imagine meeting you and not being absolutely enchanted, Cupid” squeezing your hand again, he raised your joined palms to lay a kiss on your knuckles.

By now, the move should have been something you were used to. But it wasn’t. It still made you blush, hiding the effects by dropping his gaze and focusing on the table. The warmth his words sparked in your chest simmered with a pleasant heat, almost eradicating every other thought and feeling. Until all that remained was Neil and his steadfast fondness, focused on you. For whatever reason.

It did not take your brain too long to realise the dangers of that line of reasoning, jumping into deflection before any other wayward thought could appear. Raising your head in time for Neil to see a performative eye roll, you replied:

“Christ, you’re really bad for my ego” it was not a lie, and you knew Neil could tell as much from how his mouth twitched.

Still, your hand stayed in his hold, too used to the contact to think about letting go. At least for a little longer.

“Ditto, babe” Neil’s smile widened into a bright grin as he shot you a wink, dropping the new nickname without hesitation.

Almost as if he hoped you would not notice. Wishful thinking and all. The discovery of his slip-up was enough to awaken you, giving your brain something to grasp. A distraction. A way to come back to who you were supposed to be.

Your eyes flashed, a familiar flicker of confidence and control making it easy to hold his gaze. To notice the uncertainty within the blue depths, spurring you on. Before Neil could even think about taking it back, you leaned in, invading his space and getting a whiff of his perfume. Like an addict getting a hit of their drug of choice. Stopping close enough to kiss him if you chose to, you let your nose brush against his in a light caress and whispered a taunting question:

“Ooh, it’s babe now, is it?” the thrill of being this close to him never got old.

It was strengthened by the awed look in his eyes, confirming the suspicions that you finally had the upper hand. Neil looked stunned, blinking rapidly against your proximity and the bold attack you dared execute. You stared as he came to, the hand holding yours twitched and Neil dropped his gaze, overcame with strange bashfulness.

“If you want it to be,” the murmured reply was coloured with sincerity.

Both an admission and a question, opening the floor for your next move. Swallowing past the pause, you opened your mouth to answer before a loud wolf whistle cut through the tension, making you spring back as if burned. Neil dropped your hand, his gaze instantly switching to the doorway. It did not take a genius to figure out that your time has just run out, and the company has arrived.

Fixing a curious smile onto your face, you turned in the chair, your eyes instantly drawn by the arriving group. The reason for your shocking awakening - a tall, muscled man with a buzzcut and a thick beard was the first to enter. His startling blue eyes met yours as his lips twisted into a smug smirk. He glanced at Neil, some silent understanding passing through his gaze before he asked:

“Are we interrupting something?” the unmistakable Cockney accent in his voice made you grin.

The cheekiness of this stranger was something you felt almost at home with. It was something you knew, the familiarity of it quietening the rapid heartbeat in your chest. Somewhat reluctantly, you shifted your eyes to fall on the second person to enter the room. The short woman, her hair twisted into a tight bun (not unlike what you often sported on stage), met your curious stare with one of her own. The last to enter was a tall, Black man. His presence already emitted confidence and charisma that you could not understand. As soon as his eyes met yours, the man smiled – a light, reassuring expression that transformed his face into something kind and open. With a sigh, you twisted back in the chair and closed your eyes briefly.

They did not seem scary… At least not terribly so.

“Not at all,” you only half registered Neil’s hurried response, noticing him rise from the table and gesture towards you with all the awkwardness of someone unable to play it cool. Despite yourself, you smiled at the realisation, “So, this is-” he never got to introduce you, for the sentence got cut short with another boisterous interruption.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” the bearded man approached the table, his wide grin unfading in the face of your bewilderment.

The remaining duo joined him on either side, all three pairs of eyes focused on you without a dose of apprehension. While the scrutiny was something you expected (and were partially used to), it still made you falter. Tightening your shaky hands into fists at your sides, you rose from the chair and faced them with a matching bright grin. By now, the act was almost too easy to take on - no matter the circumstances.

“It is I, indeed” completing the admission with a theatrical courtesy, you extended your palm towards the woman with what seemed like a safe greeting, “Nice to meet you” she met your handshake without hesitation.

The first handshake was followed by a round of introductions and greetings, easing that early discomfort of not knowing people’s names. Through the few minutes, Neil stayed quiet, observing you with an intensity you were slowly getting used to. You did not understand it, but it was almost comforting in its constant presence. Only once you were acquainted, you sat back in the chair. Conscious of the new company, you shifted in the seat and folded your hands atop the table, resisting the urge to meet Neil’s gaze as it bore holes into your head from over the tabletop. Before you could even think of anything to say, Ives broke the silence with what you came to understand as his modus operandi:

“Mate, I must say-” the cheekiness permeated every syllable as the man stared between you and Neil with a wide grin.

Curiosity sparked in your chest as you watched the interaction. The blind panic in Neil’s eyes completed the picture as he leapt from the chair and grabbed the sleeve of Ives’ jacket to pull him up.

“It’s best if you don’t,” the warning in his voice was something new.

Something fascinating, too. Something that you had a feeling you would be repeating in the quiet of your mind later. Later, when you were alone.

Now however, you stared as Neil completed the silent exchange with Ives and informed you all that it was time to get drinks. You got as far as telling him the order of choice for the night before the uncertainty caught up again. With Neil and Ives gone from the table, only two pairs of eyes were trained on you. A small mercy, indeed.

Ignoring the urge to flee the scene, you tried to settle in the seat and raised your gaze to meet the dark stare of the man who introduced himself as John. For some reason, his serious countenance inspired trust, making it a little easier to breathe out. The woman, Wheeler, was more intimidating, although you could not explain why if asked. It was not even that she seemed mean or judgemental, but rather that it was difficult to get a reading on her that you feared what she could be thinking.

Before you had a chance to spiral in that direction, yet again failing under the scrutiny of near strangers, John broke the silence with a question:

“So, how did you meet again?” the curiosity was undeniable in his voice, his eyes watchfully trained on yours.

Almost as if it was a test. Luckily, you knew the answers this time.

“On the tube. Neil was gallant enough to help when I dropped half the contents of my handbag on the floor” a fond smile appeared uninvited on your face, forcing you to drop his gaze and stare at the table instead. That did not go unnoticed. You could still feel their interest, like a constant weight upon your shoulders. It would take much more than this to shake it off, “I wasn’t leaving him alone after that” shrugging, you risked a tentative smile and a glance at your companions.

Judgement was still missing from the picture. Instead, the inquisitive light in Wheeler’s eyes turned into something sharper. For a split second, you felt perceived as if she could see through the bullshit smiles and nonchalant shrugs that made up your protective armour. As if she could peer inside the parts of your mind you did not acknowledge for fear of what you would find there.

Before you could let the simmering panic reap its fruits, John replied:

“And a good thing, too, because he shouldn’t be left unsupervised for too long” the humour in his voice acted like a needed respite, pulling you back from the blooming spiral and into the present.

Despite yourself, you grinned. A startled chuckle escaped your lips, confirming what you knew to be true. That, despite the doubts and perhaps an unconventional run of your friendship, you knew Neil. You understood him.

Enough to know that he should never be left to his own devices for too long.

“I’ve noticed,” a secretive smile shared between the three of you felt almost like an inside joke.

The feeling was strengthened when you heard Neil and Ives return from the bar, their banter audible even from beyond the doorway. You waited until the duo settled at the table again, the ordered drink placed in front of you with a smile, before adding, “Now I’m also forcing ballet education onto him,” winking at Neil to both tease him and draw him back to the conversation, you took a fortifying sip of the alcohol.

Not that liquid courage was needed. Of course.

“Which I don’t mind at all” Neil’s responding grin was worth any possible pain. Its warmth filled you from the inside with a mild bloom of affection, making it that much easier to let go of the remaining fears, “I’ll have to drag you with me someday. You’ll see how amazing she is,” directing the sentence at his friends, Neil took a sip of the pint and stared back as if to challenge your wordless wonder.

Even now, the constant praise was difficult to absorb. How could anyone be this nice and not expect anything in return? You did not know.

“There’ll be no dragging necessary. I’d go willingly” despite the apprehension, the first sentence Wheeler spoke to you was filled with enough friendliness you instantly felt bad for doubting her nature. She offered you a sure smile, the sparks of interest clear in her green gaze, “How long have you been dancing?”

Now that was a question you knew the answer to. Without daring to doubt the sincerity of their investment in your story, you dove into the tale. It twisted through the prodding and the questions, reminding you how much you relished being the object of genuine interest. How nice it was to share stories and have others listen instead of ignoring you or cutting short that which you dared feel passionate about.

Only once your tale found its conclusion in the current day and age, daring to share the hopes for the future, did the nerves resurface. You drowned them in another sip of the drink and chose to ask the question that never strayed too far from your mind these days:

“And you guys? What do you do for work?” admittedly, it was not the smoothest move on your part.

The eagerness shone through each word as you rested your chin on your hand and ignored Neil’s gaze. Perhaps tonight was the lucky one…

“We- You haven’t told her?” as soon as the hope began to build, making you lean forward in anticipation, Ives clearly remembered his surroundings, silencing his own reply with a question directed at Neil.

One glance at the man in question showed you the depths of panic, making you step in. Just in case.

“He hasn’t,” hoping the reassurance in your voice would be enough for them to believe you, you added, tone dropping to that teasing timbre Neil knew well enough, “Which has led to some rather… fascinating conversations” whether mentioning the many inside jokes was a good idea, you did not know.

But it was already done. The reveal did what you needed it to as you watched with interest the many emotions passing through their faces. Brief bewilderment was there, alongside confusion and boundless curiosity. But, perhaps most importantly of all, you could see respect. Hidden behind layers of thoughts and questions, but it was there. You earned it.

And through no other means than being yourself. Little victories have never felt more genuine.

“Such as?” Ives was the first to speak, prodding and teasing, his gaze filled with that familiar cheeky gleam, “Don’t leave us hanging, sweetheart” the nickname rolled off his tongue with ease, which seemed surprising to everyone but the man himself.

You did not mind. Stealing another glance at Neil, if only to check whether he still seemed somewhat alright with the conversation (barely), you allowed your mouth to twist into a telling grin:

“Wouldn’t dream of it” by now, Neil must have known what that smile meant.

The expectation was confirmed by his long-suffering sigh, interjected with a curse and a groan, sounding almost like a plea for heavenly intervention.

That is, if God, the Holy Spirit, or anyone else fancied being cursed while asked for help.

“Jesus fucking-” cutting himself short with another sigh, Neil covered his face with his hands, almost as if unwilling to take part in what would follow.

Still, you could see the remains of a fond smile hiding in the corner of his mouth. That discovery was enough to get rid of any traces of uncertainty. You leaned over the table and dropped your voice to a conspiratory whisper:

“My personal favourite is that Neil is a priest. He’s got the charisma, and I’m pretty sure those dashing looks would help to convert non-believers” admittedly, you were proud of delivering the line with a straight face.

Even more so when, after approximately five seconds, you had the desired reaction of three people dissolving into different stages of laughter at your whim. Despite yourself, you met Neil’s gaze, only to find him beaming with traces of good-natured annoyance in the gleam in his eyes. Wordlessly, you arched an eyebrow, seeking approval. Always eager to be praised for something you felt you deserved. His smile only widened as Neil sneaked a hand beneath the table and briefly squeezed your knee.

That just about did it when it came to praise.

Enough so that when a reply came from your unexpected audience, you were caught unaware by the tone and the knowing smirk present on Ives’ face as he asked:

“Speaking from experience?” startled, you looked up in time to see his confident grin, pointing towards a thought you had not entertained before.

They knew. At some point between the previous Friday night and today, Neil told them what had happened. He has perhaps shared it all, and now you were not only regarded as a strange woman he has befriended on the London Underground but also as someone he had sex with. A lover, if you dared label things. Although obvious a realisation, it was still somewhat unexpected, making your hands twitch as you slipped back on the mask of utter nonchalance. There was no point in pretending now.

“Absolutely” without batting an eyelid, you met Ives’ relentless smirk with an innocent smile of your own, choosing to take back control of the conversations as much as it was possible, “So, whatever parish you belong to, I might want an invitation” concluding the story with a telling wink, you picked up the glass and took a long sip, relishing in the slight burn of alcohol down your throat.

The sensation was enough to distract you from the strange thoughts, inspiring you to give in to the constant pull and meet Neil’s gaze over the table. He was already staring back, his mouth quirked into a soft smile. It was impossible to discern what it meant.

“We’ll come back to this conversation. If that’s okay,” John’s serious voice broke you out of the daydream, making you look up at him with surprise clear on your face.

That same air of authority you noticed the first time you had laid your eyes upon him was even more visible now that you got to talk. Without being able to explain it, you felt like he was the person most in charge out of the whole quartet. The one calling the shots. If anything, the comment enforced the idea, making you drop the playfulness for a split second to offer him a nod:

“Perfectly,” if only to ensure you had not accidentally ended up on the shit list for being too nosy, you added, “Mind you, I’m not holding a grudge. It’s just curiosity,” and it was, just that. The pure desire to know all there was to know about Neil. To piece apart his entire being and analyse it as one does when having encountered something so fascinating they could not walk past it. Yeah, just that. Shaking your head to erase unwanted thoughts, you chose to fall back on what was pleasantly familiar – letting your mouth do the talking without consulting the head on whether it was wise, “Although now that I’ve met you all, I think that perhaps it’s my other guess that makes more sense” letting the sentence trail off to a meaningful pause was an easy fate.

It was something you knew how to do. Entertain. Entrance. Fascinate. All to draw that fleeting attention, which would not solve anything except making you believe you were worth someone’s time. For a short while.

It worked this time, as always. All four pairs of eyes trained on you with curiosity. Ives was the first to break the silence, giving you what you had been waiting for:

“Which is?” arching an eyebrow, he leaned over the table, mirroring your position.

A flash of exhilaration passed through your soul, alighting that which usually laid dormant. Without meaning to, you met Neil’s gaze again, copying the cheeky smile before offering an answer:

“That you’re all in MI6” if not for the distraction in the form of his blue eyes, you were sure you would have clocked in the reactions, or rather the alarming lack of them, sooner. You blinked against the intoxicating pull of him, barely registering the silence from your companions, and found the bravery to add that which was meant for Neil only, “I mean, you could definitely pull off James Bond,” acutely aware of the audience, you tightened your hands into fists in your lap to prevent yourself from reaching out, signing off the statement with a wink.

That, too, hit the mark. You watched with delight as Neil blushed, the pink hue blooming on his cheekbones as he dropped your gaze and downed the rest of his beer. A gleeful chuckle was unavoidable as you finally gathered enough coherence to glance at the remaining companions. The mix of joy, consternation and pensiveness was something to behold, arresting your attention and sparking interest. What could it possibly mean? Questions began multiplying in your brain as you stared, particularly drawn to the exact expression on John’s face. It resembled quiet resolve as if he had just made up his mind about something and would not be persuaded to change it no matter the circumstances.

You had a feeling that you were not an exception to that rule.

“Cupid-” whatever Neil aimed to say got interrupted before you could focus your eyes back on him.

Still, the nickname resounded at the table with an extra impact, perhaps because it was the first time he had used it with the current company present. Despite wishing to remain blind to little details, you took note of the flash of interest in Wheeler’s eyes as her eyes flitted between the two of you. Thinking. You itched to ask what about but also feared the answer. Before you could even gather your thoughts enough to understand the intricacies of the situation, John got up from the chair, pulling Neil alongside him with a tight grip on his shoulder.

“C’mon. Let’s get second round” his tone left no room for discussion as he directed a pointed look at Ives and started for the bar without another word.

You stared as the two men scrambled after him, clearly taken aback by the sudden command. Now, curiosity was an understatement. It bloomed in your chest as you stared at Wheeler, silently begging for answers before you found any words to express an ounce of the confusion:

“What did just-” whatever question you had aimed to ask, you never got the chance as she interrupted you smoothly with a sleight of hand.

“Pay them no mind” that was not a suggestion, either. The order was visible in the focused gaze Wheeler placed on you, its weight quickly becoming bothersome, making you shift in the seat. Soon, you knew it was for a good reason, “Neil really likes you,” there was no question in the statement.

No chance for you to deny the claim. It wasn’t a false claim, either. You knew as much without needing to think about it. He liked you. It was there in every fond look, every tender touch, every affectionate word. And you knew that it was something you were guilty of as well. There was no point in pretending otherwise.

Ignoring the ever-present desire to run away, you strengthened your spine and met her searching gaze with honesty on your face:

“I know. I like him too. Never expected to meet a best friend on the Jubilee line, but well…” shrugging to shake off the remaining worries at your sincerity, you offered her a careful smile.

As soon as the words left your mouth, you understood their importance. You had never admitted it out loud. That this was a first. The first time you voiced what was long established in your mind and heart. What happened before you were aware. Before you could stop it. Was that another mistake? You did not dare answer that question.

Instead, you dropped Wheeler’s gaze and trained your eyes on the table, fingers idly tracing the grains in the dark wood. You knew the conversation was not over now that she had you alone and clearly unable to keep quiet. You did not have to wait long for another hit.

“He told us about what happened after the ballet last week” the judgment was still missing from the equation, no matter how hard you looked for it.

With your suspicions confirmed, there was no point in trying to pretend. No point in acting as if what she believed was untrue. That, too, was a fact. An undeniable truth, memorable and unforgettable.

After a beat, you braved the intensity of her gaze, feeling something else underneath the simple observation. Wheeler hardly seemed like a person to say things without there being a point to them. This time was not any different. The green of her eyes told you she was curious, eager to learn your side of things, but at the same time, she seemed almost wary. Concerned in ways that did not make much sense except for maybe…

“And you’re against it?” the question burst out from your lips before you knew you had formulated it. There was an edge to it that you immediately regretted but did not take back just yet. Not before adding essential information that could sway her. Why it mattered, you did not know, “I must assure you that Neil is in control. I offered to keep this strictly platonic. He’s yet to give me an answer,” the words rushed out with barely a pause in between as if you were on borrowed time.

Perhaps you did not want the company to return before you could wrap up this conversation. Perhaps it felt like if you do as much as hesitate in your answers, you will never get the words out again. And that would not do.

Wheeler only finished her drink in the face of your frenzied confession and took another moment to stare at you calmly before answering:

“I’m not against it, just worried. Neil is a genius, but he’s also a fool. And a romantic, at that,” the tired resignation in her tone provoked a careful smile to appear on your face despite the blooming worry springing alongside it.

It was something you feared, albeit without ever entertaining the thought consciously. His friends had every right to be worried. In fact, you were happy to see someone else care about Neil the way he deserved to be cared for. Intensely. But it was another thing to be seen as a potential threat towards his happiness. Someone to be cautious of. Someone who could hurt Neil. Someone you desperately wanted never to become.

“The worst combo,” ignoring the spiral which had just begun to take root in your mind, you quipped.

The force of the jest got lost somewhere between your head and mouth, lining the words with nerves and uncertainty. It still got a reaction you hoped to achieve as Wheeler’s face broke into a tentative smile.

“Isn’t it just?” her eyes met yours with hints of good-natured delight in the green irises, almost making you feel better about what followed. As soon as she sobered up, you could feel your chest seize painfully, the fear sinking its cold fingers into the fabric of your soul, “The point is that I hope you don’t hurt him. No matter what ends up happening between you” the intent was clear in her gaze.

As was the message. Should you hurt Neil, there would be consequences. Simple. Infinitely more effective than an outright threat.

Somehow, you did not need to search your soul to understand the fear beginning to shape there. You were not scared of what Wheeler or the other would do to you if you hurt Neil. No, it was something much more terrifying. It was the pure horror of knowing that, realistically, you could break his heart. Even if that were the last thing you would want to do. Even if you would never choose to do so. The ability was there. And that was enough.

Swallowing past the desire to flee, you forced yourself to meet her gaze and offer an answer as close to the truth as you could manage. As close as you hoped to be.

“I’ll do my best” you could tell your mouth trembled as you tried to form it into a reassuring smile, but still, you wished for it to be enough.

Because there was nothing better that you could offer. You stared as Wheeler processed your reply, her watchful gaze peering right into the fabric of your soul. It felt like an eternity before she nodded once, ending the conversation with decisiveness. A tired sigh escaped your throat as you sunk lower in the chair. You knew that it would haunt you for days to come.

In the background, you could hear the approaching voices of the rest of your party. The noise sobered you, helping to push against the melancholy and paste on a mischievous smirk. With the mask back in place, you knew you could survive the rest of the evening. Somehow.

***

By the time you had left the pub, the warmth of Neil’s hand on the small of your back guiding you outside, it was late, and your cheeks hurt from smiling. That pleasant tiredness that often came from spending too much time with people, forced to be someone you were never sure you understood, burned through your muscles, leaving you slightly dizzy. But that might have also been the alcohol. Or Neil’s loose handhold, dragging you towards the underground station.

You were not quite sure when it had been decided that you would come back together, only that the conversation involved something with Jubilee Line name-drop and Ives’ boisterous laughter. And a knowing gleam in his eyes that you did not enjoy. Still, as Neil patiently led you down the streets of Soho and towards Leicester Square, you did not mind the result. It gave you more time with him. More time to talk and less time to think about what the eventful evening brought up. About the fears festering in your heart.

Still, the comfortable silence was broken only once you were seated in the carriage, Neil’s thigh pressed against yours on the narrow plastic seats. His hands folded in his lap, tempting you with a comforting touch just a move away. If you dared be bold.

“So… what’s the verdict?” Neil’s question acted like the needed wake-up, pulling from the depths of confusing thoughts and confounding feelings.

It was harmless, instantly drawing your smile from its hiding place. One glance at Neil told you that was the intent, with the affectionate look in his eyes, studying your face. Sometimes, you wondered whether there would ever come a time when you were brave enough to ask what he was thinking about when he stared at you like that. What it meant, if anything at all. Today, you could only return his look and offer a grin as a prologue to your reply:

“They’re insane people” your smile widened as you watched Neil bark out a startled laugh. It was a beautiful sound, making you bask in the glow of those unexpected joys. It was that spark of happiness that made you add, “Just like you,” leaning into his personal space, you gave his shoulder a nudge, this once hoping that the fondness could be seen in your eyes.

You wanted him to notice, to know that the teasing came from no other place but that of affection. That, as you confessed to Wheeler, Neil was important. Probably your best friend. An honourable mantle not many could admit to having possessed. In the entire history of your life.

Neil’s gaze softened as he returned the playful nudge and bumped his nose into yours, drawing a startled gasp from your throat. Proximity tended to do that to you.

“I’d say something about pots and kettles, but-” the warmth in his voice made you wake up from the strange thoughts as you grinned, rolling your eyes at the jest barely disguised behind the good-natured tease.

The sentiment still filled your heart with a contented type of joy, casting the previous anxieties back to the shadows where they lurked. For now, they were not needed. Now, all that mattered was turning your body fully towards Neil and blocking everything except for his beautiful smile and striking blue eyes.

“I own my insanity, thank you very much” feigning nonchalance, you shot him an unimpressed smile before dropping the pretence to offer sincerity. As he deserved, “I like them. They seem fun to be around, and I’d love to meet them again” you met his serious gaze with a wavering smile, feeling it shake beneath the uncertainty that loitered at the edges of your consciousness. Despite the wishes to do so, you did not seem capable of shaking off the anxiety tonight. The addition needed to be said, if only for your sanity, “That is if they don’t hate me” what started loud and confident was finished in a murmur, half-whispered at the dirty carriage floor.

Sudden losses of confidence were something you were not used to, yet getting more accustomed to by the day. At some point, unknowingly to you, along with the trust in the realness of whatever you and Neil had, that old, blind self-assurance dwindled. It was still there but wounded and unable to return to what it was. And you had no idea why that could be except for the terrifying thought that the simple reality of being perceived was enough to tear at your foundations.

You felt Neil’s careful touch, his fingers tipping up your chin, so you had no choice but to meet his reassuring gaze. The pads of his fingers lightly brushed the skin of your neck, kindling the fire that always burned underneath your skin in his presence. You barely resisted the urge to close your eyes and lean into the feeling, forgetting about the conversation and everything else.

“No chance, sweetheart” perhaps the confidence you had been missing could be found in Neil’s smile, shining at you like a beacon of benediction. Or at least it felt like sometimes, especially in the haziness of the late hours and fluorescent lights. Now, as if sensing your uncertainty, Neil covered your hands with his and squeezed them reassuringly, “I’m yet to get professional feedback, but I believe they liked you very much” risking a peek, you met his gaze only to find nothing but affection there, its intensity making you feel lightheaded. No matter the amount of practice, you did not seem capable of getting used to it. Not at all, “Not as much as me, though” when the conclusion to his speech finally arrived, you needed another long moment to process it.

Another beat still to find an opportunity within it. It presented a whole myriad, an easy way out of the conversation that would no longer feel so awfully revealing. A chance for you to reclaim the bravado that so often served as a shield. A protective veil to hide behind until you would be brave enough to face the truth. You were not going to let it pass you by.

Without wasting another second, you presented Neil with a familiar grin as his hand dropped from your chin. You instantly mourned the loss, although you did not let it show.

“Yeah, I’d hope not. I’m not sure I’d be into threesomes” the delivery of the line seemed almost impeccable, making you preen at the instant reaction on Neil’s face in the form of his utter bewilderment. He blinked as if stuck with an exceptionally persistent thought, as a pink hue spread over his cheeks, widening your grin. As always, the instant gratification hit like the finest of drugs, getting right to your head, “Might get too possessive,” the addition, covertly whispered into his ear despite the empty carriage, only strengthened the effect as Neil sputtered, choking on his saliva.

Moments like this were why you knew you were already beyond the hope of saving. There was no going back from this. No chance of forgetting Neil and moving on with your life as if none of this ever happened. Sometimes, when you were brave enough to be honest with yourself, you admitted that you did not want to forget, even if you could.

“Helpful feedback” seemingly recovered from his moment, Neil shot you a glare, barely hiding the happiness visible in his gaze.

Teasing him was always the highlight of every meeting, giving you a chance to practice what you knew you were good at, with the additional advantage of an audience hanging upon each word. Briefly, you wondered whether having an active listener at your beck and call was good for your ego. Decidedly not, but the damage was already done.

“At your service” instead of entertaining the ridiculous thoughts, you mimed a low bow in his direction and squeezed his knee instead of pressing another presumptuous kiss to his cheek. Those would have to be held back until the next time you saw him. Just to be safe.

You met his intense, unwavering gaze just in time to see Neil sober up. His permanent smile faded as he shifted in the seat, almost as if steeling himself for something. Before you could open your mouth to ask, he broke the silence again:

“I have an answer for you” the initial confusion at the opener disappeared as soon as you noticed the uncertainty in his gaze. That sudden shyness you were slowly becoming accustomed to replaced the previous bravery as Neil took a fortifying breath and sighed out the promised answer, “Yes,” there was nothing else to it.

Just one word changing the course of your relationship without a hitch or hesitancy. The suddenness was the only thing that surprised you, with the brain half convinced Neil would need weeks to decide instead of just six days. Still, the uncertainty in his face must have been contagious, for you felt it spread across your soul, eradicating any other feeling or thought. There was no space for joy or excitement at what this course of events would mean for you. There was only doubt.

Whether Neil knew what he was saying. Whether he understood what it meant. Whether he was not making the mistake, Wheeler worried he was capable of. Whether you had the right to ask him in the first place.

Painfully aware of Neil’s attention, you forced your rapid heartbeat to slow down and voiced the only question that felt worth asking:

“Yes?” perhaps it was superfluous, just another second wasted on confirming what was already done and dusted.

Perhaps it spoke volumes about the person you wanted to be – thoughtful, patient, selfless – instead of the one you knew you were. Perhaps it was just another thing you could blame on the alcohol in your system. None of the reasons mattered as soon as Neil’s sombre countenance broke into another sunny smile. His hand came up to hold yours as if without a conscious thought. You settled in the feeling to find the necessary grounding.

“Yes. Because I don’t think I’m capable of keeping hands to myself when I’m with you” although the comment was anything but soft and affectionate, Neil’s hold told another story.

You stared as his thumb traced an invisible path over your knuckles. Over and over again. Until it was a sensation you could anchor within, taking a deep breath to find your footing once more. It would be alright. It had to.

“That’s flattering” despite the numerous buts and ifs whirling in your head, you met Neil’s searching gaze with a semi-confident smile.

You meant it. That much was certain. Because doubts and worries aside, all that mattered was simple: Neil wanted you. Enough so to try something new. Enough so not to choose between your friendship and the intimacy you could have alongside it. Enough so you didn’t have to decide for him instead.

As if reading your mind, Neil turned towards you and tightened the hold over your hand. Without breaking the eye contact, he raised your joined hands to his lips and pressed a lingering kiss to your knuckles, repeating a move already so familiar, yet still somehow unexpected. The breath hitched in your chest as he leaned forward, his other hand cupping your cheek and the thumb carefully brushing over your blushing skin. Quickly, you became incapable of doing anything but stare, awaiting his next move.

Neil’s gaze roamed over your face, as always drawn to your eyes only to glance at your parted lips and get stuck there. Quirking your mouth into a smile, you barely had the mind to find an appropriate quip before Neil wiped the intent clear with one swipe of his thumb. You gasped as you felt his finger trace the contour of your lips, the lipstick applied just before exiting the pub still relatively intact. He seemed to contemplate the next step as his blue eyes flicked to yours, searching for something. Whatever it was, Neil must have found it, for the next thing you registered was a decisive touch of the offending finger, swiping over your lower lip to smudge the lipstick and smear it over the corner of your mouth. Another embarrassing sigh was unavoidable as you glanced up in time to see the hunger in his eyes. As is for the past week, he has been holding himself back just as much as you did. As if this was to be your new normal. The thought alone was enough to make you shiver.

“Even tonight, I thought about dragging you with me to the bathroom and…” the confession was whispered in the meagre space between your faces, Neil’s voice taking on the tone you already knew yet had not heard a while.

The low, husky notes reverberated through your veins, erasing any uncertainties you could have had. None of that mattered. You had Neil to do as you pleased, and he had you. For however long it would last. For however long it would be mutually beneficial. Of course.

Now, with the promise of what could be placed so openly in front of you, you did not want to waste a second longer. Time was precious enough. Ignoring the pounding in your heart and the way Neil’s fingers slipped down the slope of your throat to loosely rest over your collarbone, you decimated the space to nothing but millimetres and whispered:

“Next time, you can just ask” upon his silent question, you nodded, confirming what you hoped would be evident enough, “I’d let you” curling your fingers around his hand touching your collarbone, you pressed your joined hands over your heart and closed the gap to leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

The resistance from claiming his lips was running thinner by the minute. But, as with most things, you needed Neil to take that step. To confirm his words with something much more tangible than your entangled hands and knees pressed close.

“You’d let me do what?” Neil tilted his head slightly as if trying to get a better reading of you.

From the depth of feelings, he must have seen on your face.

The slight smug tint to his smile let you know it was all just a pose. He had it figured out already. Except that being a little shit that he sometimes tended to be, Neil wanted to hear you say it. Assuredly. Loudly. Just so there was no room for doubt and a chance to confirm what you both knew. The desire was very much mutual. Sometimes, especially at night, you liked to recollect the exact feel of his hands on your body and the sounds he made when he came inside you. Those memories were enough to make you climax.

Neil had that much power over you for better or for worse. Somehow, even before actively opening your mouth to speak, you already knew you would not put up a fight. There was no point.

“Whatever you want,” squeezing his hand that was comfortably placed in your lap, you made sure to meet his gaze when stating the obvious.

Neil took it with a blinding smile, his hand letting go of yours to venture up your neck again, lightly brushing over the faded bruises as if he could still remember where he had marked you a week before. You did not tell him that the morning after you took a picture of yourself in the bathroom mirror. Just to have another thing to remember him by.

“And now?” with your proximity, you could feel his breath fan your face with every word spoken.

The intensity in Neil’s gaze was almost too much. Almost, for it was exactly what you needed to be brave again. It strengthened the resolve blooming beneath your skin as you cupped his cheek and stroked the stubble with your thumb. It was impossible not to notice how Neil closed his eyes upon your move, leaning into your palm as if that was what he needed. With the evidence of your shared wants so clearly displayed, you did not need further courage to say what has been nagging at your brain for the past hours. One request gnawing at your mind, heart and soul, impossible to ignored.

“Now just kiss me” frowning at the needy tone of your voice, you waited for Neil’s eyes to snap open to add what was only aimed to be a further persuasion, “Please. It’s been too long,” noting the hunger in his gaze, you knew you did not have to convince him to give you what you asked for.

He wanted it too, only-

“A week” his lips twisted into an amused smirk as he arched his eyebrow in the face of your hunger.

Any other time, you would have let him indulge in it. You would have let him be a nuisance to fulfil the internal quota Neil seemed to have set for himself. But tonight, you had no patience left.

“Exactly. Too long,” freeing your hand to draw him even closer with a hold over his jacket, you closed your eyes and slid your palm to the back of his neck, angling Neil the way you needed him.

Neil did not need further pointers. You heard his quiet groan, half-swallowed by your mouth and felt him pull you as close as physically possible with his arm around your waist and a hand on your cheek. Your body moulded to his shape, lips slanting over his with practised ease. That first swipe of your tongue across his lower lip instantly reminded you exactly why his kisses were something you missed so desperately. The familiar taste filled your senses, making you dig your fingertips in the hair on his nape, tugging gently at the golden locks. It was impossible not to let out a quiet moan straight into his opening mouth. Neil’s tongue greedily collected the sound, mapping the inside of your mouth with attention to detail that still astounded you. As did his unwavering hold, arm gently supporting your back and keeping you close, nestled into his chest and the warmth it provided.

You kissed until oxygen became a prized commodity you could not willingly give up. Even if you wanted to. Only then, with a final decisive peck on his closing lips, you leaned back (only as far as Neil would allow) and opened your eyes. He was one step ahead, staring at you with a soft smile. There was no choice but to mirror the expression, relaxing your hold on his neck and pressing your palm flat over his heart. Neil’s thumb stroked your cheekbone, eliciting an embarrassingly affectionate look in your eyes. As if hoping to rectify its impact, you dropped his gaze and let go of him, aware that more tenderness between you would only spell trouble. And that was the last thing you needed.

As if reading your mind, a feat you were half-sure Neil was capable of (all things considered), he dropped his hands, letting go of you and offered another reassuring smile. A simple gesture yet sufficient in helping your heart rate drop to normal levels. A cursory glance out the window assured you had not accidentally missed your stop - another win for the nonexistent tally. Almost as good as the very next thing Neil chose to say:

“Soon, I might also have that other answer for you” his nonchalant tone was a striking contrast to the previous certainty and smugness.

But it did its job, drawing you in with ease. Despite the fading awkwardness, you met his gaze and noted the sincerity you could see there. The genuine wish to both make you comfortable again and share that one significant piece of his story you did not yet possess.

“The one that got you in trouble tonight?” risking a sly look, you arched an eyebrow and leaned back in the creaky plastic chair.

While Wheeler indirectly told you to drop it, there was no chance you would listen. And especially not when it was just you and Neil, alone and open to each other like always.

You knew you had hit the jackpot with your guess when Neil winced, a passing shell-shocked expression on his face hinting at slight trauma of the kind that only the closest friends could inflict upon one another. Whatever happened when John all but hauled him out of the room was not pleasant. And it only added to the curiosity in your soul.

“It wasn’t- Yes, that one” interrupting his attempt at deflection, Neil nodded, his smile dropping in favour of something much more serious.

It was not a sight you wanted to see. It seemed wrong. Especially then in an empty carriage with the flickering lights after such a pleasant evening. As much as you wanted to know, constantly consumed with the eagerness to unveil that remaining piece of the puzzle labelled ‘Neil’ (the label was blue, with the glittery gold letters and pink heart-shaped embellishments), the other part of your brain hated seeing him so sombre. Hated the fading smiles and the uncertainties those grey moments tended to unleash within Neil. There was no question about what you needed to do.

“That’s okay, I already know all I need” without letting yourself falter, you reached out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder and offered him a bright smile.

Hoping to convey the most important message – it could wait. There was no rush. Nothing better to do but enjoy what you shared without further need to complicate it.

“Which is?” the hesitation in his question only drove the point forward, helping you eradicate the remaining inhibitions.

Even if just for this one moment. You knew your time was running out, with the St. John’s Wood station approaching mercilessly. If you were in luck, there were perhaps three minutes to spare. Three minutes to show Neil his secret did not matter at all.

Your hand slid down his chest to comfortably settle atop his knee, the warmth of his body slowly becoming your favourite type of anchor. Neil glanced at your subtle move, but he stayed still. Almost as if afraid to move and break the spell. This fear, too, had to be quelled immediately.

“That I’m allowed to do this” with a whisper, you leaned in and closed the gap again by covering his mouth in a gentle kiss. Where previously there was hunger and desire, this time tenderness reigned, helping you settle the right pace with measured pecks and soothing caresses of your hands upon his body. Neil matched you beat for beat, drawing you closer again and gladly accepting all that you were giving. You kissed until a familiar crackle of the PA system made you separate, panting mouth and hazed eyes shared between you. Grinning like a lunatic, you leaned back in for a split second to kiss his cheek and stood up before Neil had a chance to react, “And that you’re my best friend” it almost felt like a relief to say out loud. Especially when the confession was received with Neil’s surprised, yet blinding smile, breaking through the paralysis induced by your sudden actions. The train began to slow down, approaching your station platform. Without another word or reckless act, you approached the doors and turned your head towards him with a simple farewell “Goodnight” as soon as it slid open, you left the carriage.

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