#she isn’t romancing Astarion in the story!

[fitcherslane]

Gaze upon my glorious Tav!

Meet my little half moon elf Bard and the Tav at the centre of my Gortash/Tav fic: Flirting with Tyranny 💕

Finally figured out how to take in game pics! Still not perfect but so nice to have! 💕

Can’t wait for Larian to release the camera mode!!

Does anyone else play a Bard? I feel so alone but I love the class!! 😭 So much fun!!!

[dorianpavus]

Panel from Hell Info Roundup

We got a release teaser trailer!

CHARACTER CREATION/CUSTOMIZATION

Character creation got a revamp! More efforts were made to explain things to someone who hasn’t played D&D before, or one who hasn’t played other Larian games. Classes now also have unique animations when you select them.

Choice options now have a corresponding icon, so you can see what you’re selecting.

There are more available faces to choose from.

Dragonborn and half-orcs are playable at launch.

Warlocks are now able to call on their patron for insight and advice.

New sliders have been added for Maturity (adding wrinkles), Freckle Quantity (and intensity), and Vitiligo Pigmentation.

Horn Customization! Now you can change their color and tip color.

There are scar options.

More hair and beard options! As well as more options for hair colors (including greying) to have tri-colored hair.

Strong/buff body types added!

Piercing options have been added.

Heterochromia option has been added.

Dragonborn can customize their face, crest, chins, and jaws. Skin color options include metallic, almost duo-chrome shades. For white dragonborns, there are also pearlescent effects. Dragonborn Draconic Bloodline sorcerers will get a unique scale pattern that changes color based on your ancestry.

There is also a selection for genitals, which they did not elaborate on, but was selected as ‘default.’

You will meet a character that will allow you to reset your class and respec your abilities.

The team went back from Act 1-3 to make the game more reactive to your choices. If you’re playing something odd or unique, the game should react to it.

THE DARK URGE

They are the new Origin Character, and they are avatar-only; they can only be played by you, not recruited.

You can fully customize their race and class.

They do not know who they are; they are waking up, and the only thing they know is “the bile of their liver, the gushing of their blood, and their ruined body telling them: you’re going to kill and kill again.” They are meant to be a dark counterpoint to the story.

Has unique scenes and storylines unlike anything else we’ve seen thus far.

They have dark impulses and thoughts that tempt them; you can play as embracing it or trying to resist.

At 4:36:55, we have some gameplay of them from early on in Act 1.

KARLACH

She is an Origin Character, and you can recruit her or play as her.

Born and raised in Baldur’s Gate, was sold to slavery in the Hells, and managed to break free. She has an infernal engine for a heart.

She’s a barbarian who has a special rage animation/effect.

Curses a lot.

At 5:20:00, there’s a bit of extended gameplay and one of her romance scenes.

OTHER/MISC COMPANIONS

Many of the companions are good-aligned, including Karlach, Halsin, Minsc, and Jaheira. For evil companions, there is Minthara, who you can recruit in Act 2 depending on your choices.

Wyll has gotten a complete overhaul. Much of his dialogue has been rewritten, and he “can go in two directions” much earlier in the story. He wants to kill Karlach at the beginning of the game, and how that unfolds is up to you. 

If you kill your companions, you can hire Hirelings. There are twelve (one for each of the classes), and you can customize and respec them.

Companions will join your camp and be able to come with you along your journey; you don’t have to choose between them, but can swap them out as you see fit. If anyone leaves or isn’t able to be recruited, it will be by your own choices or the narrative.

When you’re playing as an Origin Character, you’re not a mystery to yourself. You’ll get unique scenes and information that you may not otherwise get with them as your companion. For instance, when you go to sleep, you might have nightmares about your past.

A scene relevant to Astarion’s backstory was shown at 4:25:57.

ROMANCE

They tried to show “two people genuinely struggling through a hard time and supporting one another. And you’re not going to be the same person in Act 1 as you are in Act 3. Neither is your partner. Your relationship is going to have to grow along with the game’s story.” 

At 4:46:10, they have a video where they discuss this and show scenes from the romances. 

How you treat your companions will be reflected in how they treat you. Whether they want to be in a relationship with you, whether they leave your party, or even try to kill you -- all depends on your choices. 

“Sometimes it’s actually better to have an argument, and challenge your partner about their way of thinking.”

Some characters will happily share romantic partners with polyamory; some of them won’t.

Characters may have very different romantic endings based on what happens during the game and how you treat them or what you did with them. There’s not just one scene that’s the same for all playthroughs.

You can still romance people on “evil” playthroughs, so long as you play your cards right.

Mature content warning! There is a romance scene between Astarion and Halsin that the audience helped select at 5:32:49. Wowza. Worth getting banned from TikTok? 

COMBAT

Multiplayer is up to four people, with split screen. 

There are 3 difficulty modes: explorer (or easy), default, and tactician (hard). Tactician mode gives enemies base buffs, but also hand-crafted difficulty increases to encounters. 

The “brutal AI” from tactician mode is supposed to feel like a DM that is pushing you to your limits, which manifests in ways like attacking your squishier characters, or trying to break casters’ concentration.

At 5:44:28, there’s a video showcase on the Monk class. Two minutes later, at 5:46:13, there’s some combat gameplay showing off monks and the different difficulty modes.

STORY AND CINEMATICS

At 6:00:40, there’s a video showcasing cinematics, with various clips from the game featured (lots of enemies/creatures shown). 

They estimate that running through the main story will take about 80 hours, but it can go multiple times that length if you actually take your time and explore. 

174 hours of cinematics doesn’t mean you’ll see all of them; it’s more that there’s so many permutations and reflections of the choices that you made, that you might not even see them all even if you play this game over and over again.

MISC

When you go to camp, you are now able to wear “camp clothes” rather than your armor, which can be toggled on and off. You can find various clothes in the world, and apply dyes to them. You can wear them outside of camp if you want to as well. 

Cloaks are added.

The devs prefer not to think of this being a story told to you, but rather a story they are telling with you. Though there are many themes, trust is a big one: who you can trust, why you can trust them, and why the world should trust you as well.

There’s an unboxing of the Collector’s Edition at 6:14:26.

There is a very heavy spoiler chunk of gameplay from Act 2, starting at 6:20:42, which closes out the stream!

[hellspawn-enjoyer]

Another thing I need to rant about because I find it incredibly adorable is how these dorks have the nerve to have elements of a reincarnation romance in their romance together.  

What do I mean by this?

I mean having dialogue that lampshades that one feels like they’ve met before and the other feels like they’ll meet again. Karlach’s dialogue in her date night romance scene you get in Act 3. You and each companion get a different special response to asking her if being mysterious suits you.

This is her response for Astarion-

Karlach mentions feeling like there's something familiar about Astarion. The second picture is a common dialogue other characters can get, but it does add various meanings to her line specific to Astarion. Overall adding to their special connection and how they just sort of click when they first meet each other.

Feeling something familiar between them also plays nicely into them having similar woven parts in their unfortunate traumatic history. As well as them being a sort of mirror to each other. One that shows what they could've been, but also what they can still become since they can either improve or descend into becoming worse versions of themselves down the road.

This dialogue on its own is cute because of the fact it shows that she feels connected and understood by Astarion to the point that she feels they’ve been together for longer even though their time together at present is so short.

So the fact that Astarion has a similar feeling, but with her death makes it all the more gut-wrenching.

When Astarion tries to convince Karlach to go with him to Avernus to look for a way to fix her engine, if she declines Astarion will tearfully accept her decision but remain hopeful that somehow their paths will cross again. Basically, saying that maybe her death isn’t the end of their love, but instead the beginning.

So now we're getting into the whole Reincarnated/We’ll meet in another life romance trope. Obviously, you can roleplay this with any romance, but it just makes me particularly insane that it’s hinted a few times as a theme in their romance with special dialogue between the two of them. That they have a connection so deep to each other that they can feel it from another life.

Now, of course, I've got to talk about Ascended Astarion's dialogue if Karlach declines his offer to go with him to Avernus because it's interesting in it's own way as well. He essentially says the same thing to Karlach, but the way he says it comes across as being more confident that they'll meet again.

This, of course, can be read similarly with him planning to find her reincarnation and romancing her again or as Astarion willing to do some questionable things in order for them to be reunited with each other. You can see this as sweet, concerning, or both. All valid takeaways from this scene. Either way, he holds on to the feeling that their romance has only just begun and that they have something more awaiting them in the future.

Karlach's origin epilogue if she chooses to die on the docks also adds to this with Withers coming to her and saying that her death isn't the end of her story.

So even if you play their romance in a way that ends with her choosing to go out on her own terms their dialogue and this ending scene connects in a way that reinforces that they'll have a chance to meet again someday. Also implying that they're a fated pair, soulmates, romantic or platonic that have met before and will meet again, that just gets to me.

Overall another reason why I'll never be normal about these two and their relationship with each other! 😭

[itsclydebitches]

The narrative H/C potential of switching Cazador and Orin’s kidnappings is just delicious to me. Instead of Astarion’s siblings waking him up and giving the party the chance to defend him, the player arrives back at camp (or finishes a long rest if Astarion is currently in your party) to discover that he’s just gone. No note, no sign of a struggle, nothing. Insert any hand wave-y means of abducting Astarion quietly here. The point is that this would wreck him.

Not just because he’s now back in the clutches of Cazador (though that’s obvious), but because you’re not coming for him. See, having Orin as your kidnapper is actually one of the more reassuring options, despite her murder-happy disposition. Even if she nabs a struggling character like Gale who might believe they’re unworthy of rescue for any number of reasons, Orin is one of the few baddies you simply have to engage with. Significantly, knowledge of that necessity is baked into the actual story-world. We see fighting her as a gameplay mechanic—defeat three mini bosses to reach the final boss—but that structure still exists as a Save The World quest for your party. No stone, no victory. No Orin, no stone. Ergo, they’re fighting Orin. So whoever is kidnapped knows that the party will show up eventually, even if it’s not for them. That’s it’s own wonderful, angsty assumption—“You came because it was the right thing to do, not because you care about me. My rescue was always a byproduct of saving the people who truly deserve it”—but at least there’s still reassurance in knowing you’ll see them again. All the kidnapped member has to do is not piss off Orin in the meantime and hope the party doesn’t die along the way. Not stellar odds, admittedly, but are they really any worse than what they’ve been dealing with all along?

Getting kidnapped by Cazador on the other hand... oh boy. He’s a missable boss, both mechanically and narratively. Who’s worried about him when there’s a fucking Netherbrain threatening all of Faerûn? Sure, sure, your Tav might have spent their journey helping every idiot with suitably convincing puppy-dog eyes, but Astarion is very much not a refugee tiefling/snake-threatened child/shadow-cursed hero/etc. He’s a chaotic, caustic bitch whose trauma is expressed more through biting fury than soft bouts of crying. Not only is he (in his own mind) not the sort of person people go out of their way to save, but would you even know where to begin? Depending on your approval rating you might still be iffy about Astarion’s past, as well as this upcoming ritual. Has Tav met any of the siblings yet? Do they know that Cazador’s Ascension would pose a threat to all of Baldur’s Gate? Do they have any means of finding the entrance to his palace without a former resident in the party (or convenient map marker)? Now, toss in the fact that, depending on how many long rests you’ve done, the party has only been traveling together for a matter of days/weeks. They know one another deeply (yay trauma bonding) but once separated that timeframe feels pretty insignificant, particularly to someone who has existed for over 200 years. Even if you’re romancing Astarion and he has more reason to believe that this short period of time was emotionally meaningful, he’s still admitted to manipulating you, to molding your emotions to best ensure his protection... but protection never extended to this.

Besides, Astarion has literally been here before. No heroes rescued him across two centuries of enslavement. Why would they rescue him now?

Except, it’s far worse this time around, isn’t it? Cazador isn’t merely his abuser, he’s now set to become an all-powerful vampire whose hold will truly be unbreakable. Astarion isn’t merely a slave to one individual, he’s now got a ticking time bomb in the form of a parasite set to enslave him to another. (And isn’t that something to chew on: him cursing the fact that the artifact’s protection still extends to him. At least as a Mind Flayer he wouldn’t feel anymore, would have a chance to fight back.) This time around Astarion isn’t just another beloved “child” of Cazador’s, he’s uniquely gifted in his ability to walk in the sun and resist commands. The hells only know what Cazador will make him do with that newfound power if he survives the ritual— or how Cazador will ensure Astarion’s continued “loyalty” while he does it. Worst of all though... now Astarion has had a chance to see what life could be like. Freedom. Agency. People who love him despite all the reasons they shouldn’t. Whoever said, “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” was a fucking fool. It’s so much worse to go backwards, to have lost not merely the life you dreamed of, but also the ability to pretend you never needed it in the first place.

Imagine that Astarion. Picture how broken he would be.

Now imagine the party kicking down Cazador’s door. The look on Astarion’s face when he realizes that despite the danger, the practical hurtles, the bigger stakes at play, the fact that it’s him... they came anyway.

[chaoticbardlady99]

Maryë (Astarion x GN! AFAB Reader) MDNI 18 +

Synopsis: Astarion left to explore the world and himself following the death of the Netherbrain. You remain in Baldur’s Gate with your brother, Gale, resigning yourself to your fate as Astarion’s friend until you die. Until one day, you and Astarion begin to write letters back and forth. Except there is one letter in particular that you suspect isn’t from Astarion…

CW: minimal mentions of violence, smut, Oral (Female Receiving), PIV, Tav’s also just an oblivious idiot who apparently doesn’t think very hard about words (it’s me, I’m Tav the idiot and this is like my Fiancé and I’s friendship prior to ya know, dating lmfao)

Author note- I might also write this in AMAB! Format, but I need to do some… research first for accuracy. This is lightly edited and just some silly little thought I had. I wanted to write something not so detailed for once while I work on my drafts for Lethal Woman and She’s Not Acid Nor Alkaline. Also def stole a line from Tolkien and added to it at the end (this is me crediting).

You’ll either love this or hate this idk.

The title literally translates to Home in Elvish.

Photo belongs to idk who so please reach out if it’s yours!

As always- likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated, I am just terrible at responding.

Tav,

As much as I enjoy our current form of communication- I was wondering if I could come to see you in person.

I have so much I need to say to you and I want to be able to do it in person- the proper way.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours,

Astarion

You sit and stare at the letter like you have been doing for the last week since you received it. Unlike your half-brother, Gale, you are not one for words. It was hard to respond to Astarion’s letters initially until Gale “doctored” your responses- often putting whatever silly accomplishment you have achieved lately or stories Gale found interesting from your recent solo adventures.

“Are you going to write the letter or are you hoping it’s going to write itself?” Gale teases.

You scowl at him and shake your head.

“I don’t know what to write back.”

“I could come up with a couple things!” Gale clears his throat, “‘ Oh Astarion- I’ve missed you terribly this whole time! I regret telling you that we should be friends until you figure things out! Despite my VERY WISE BROTHER’S ADVICE TO NOT DO THAT! I wait like a lovesick puppy at the mailbox every week hoping a letter may arrive!’”

You roll your eyes at him and throw one of his many decorative couch pillows at his head. He certainly has your mother’s flair for the dramatic. However, you can’t necessarily say he’s wrong- you have been nothing less than a smitten school girl waiting for letters non-stop.

Astarion had gone back to the Underdark after the last battle with the Netherbrain. He told you that he wanted to go and explore who he is- the world too.

You had been as enthusiastic as you could about the decision considering you had come up to him at the party with a letter in your hands asking if he would like to continue traveling with you after this- you had been too scared to say it outloud. A part of you hoped it may allow your romance to blossom without the impending threat of death at every corner. Well, if he still harbored any feelings for you at all.

You had merely smiled and told him how excited you are for him. It answered the silent question that had been there- was there still room in Astarion’s heart for you after you said you should just be friends and try again later?

The answer was ‘no’, despite Gale’s perplexed face and lecture when he found out you gave the spawn a send off with a ‘long’ hug (he made you describe it in detail). You refuse to give yourself any hope- you will remain a dutiful friend since you resigned yourself to this fate.

Then you received a Sending spell with him requesting your address and the letters began. You squealed like a schoolgirl when the first one came in and ripped it open enthusiastically. You didn’t realize Gale was home, otherwise you wouldn’t have read it out in the open- Tara snitched on you!

You had only truly met Gale around a couple months prior to your mutual abduction. Your mother had asked you to assist a brother you never knew about in finding magical artifacts- you quickly learned it was because the man was becoming a damn recluse.

You had worried he’d slam the door in your face or turn you into a sheep for all of eternity- the minute you told him your name was Tav Dekarios, he pulled you in for a hug and told you he had been awaiting your arrival. Gale was thrilled to know that, like him, you were also a prodigy in your craft.

You are a virtuoso master with any instrument you touch and you cast spells that are almost far too good to be true. You became Oghma’s Chosen in your teen years after spending many years practicing under his mentorship (which is why you and Gale had a very weird, serious talk one night about how Mystra is kind of a fucking pedophile) and that allowed you to do incredible things.

Your notes could create shimmery images and tell stories- Arabella and the other tiefling children (even the very tough Mol) enjoy coming over and watching war tales be told with nothing but a drum and a rain stick. Sometimes you let them tell tales and you come up with a tune to match it- eventually finding a rhythm to put your mind into and create the picture.

It was one of the many things Astarion mentioned in his note- he stated that none of the other Bards even begin to hold a candle to your talent. You blushed deeply when you read the line.

He told you about everything he had seen, everyone he had met, what he’s found out about himself, and shockingly enough- how much he misses you. It had taken you by total surprise, but you responded saying you missed him too.

Pet names began to flow easily into inked lines and it felt like you had a tiny part of him back in your life- your friendship is still as strong as it was before he left.

The letters have quickly become the best part of your week and occasionally you’ll read them with Arabella. She ooos and awwws, then attempts to bully you into tell Astarion your feelings. You cast a mini rain shower over her head with a few poetic words for the suggestion. You don’t want to ruin what you have and there is always the possibility that he found someone else.

However, you weren’t unsure of this particular note because you didn’t want to see Astarion- you would love that. The issue is that it doesn’t look like his handwriting, it isn’t the paper he uses (he’s ridiculously particular), and it doesn’t flow. Gale thinks you are over analyzing it, but you are pretty sure that this isn’t Astarion’s writing. He also addresses you as “Darling” not Tav and signs the letter of with “‘Órenya ná órelya” (my heart is your heart) not “Yours”.

You’ve waited for another note to come in since, but nothing has. You are beginning to wonder if Gale is right and you really are just being paranoid.

“I already told you, Gale,” you say with annoyance, “something isn’t right about this note. I don’t think this is from him which is worrisome because that means I haven’t heard from him in two weeks WHICH could MEAN-“

“For the love of Gods- TAV,” Gale yells, effectively shutting you up, “my young, oblivious little sibling. Just say yes and let him come visit.”

*********************************************************

It had been two days since you sent the sending stone and there was no response. Not that it would have mattered anyway considering you are somewhere in the Underdark in a very beautifully lit cave. Neon, blue veins of magic run through the rock. The pathway is lit with glowing flowers and…. Benches?

It had all happened so fast. One moment you were walking home from the market and the next- Astarion had come up to you from an alleyway and said he needed help. He had told you that he would love to catch up, but there is an injured child around the corner and since he can only stay in the shadows, he needs you to help them. Before you knew it- someone hit you with a sleep spell and the last thing you remember seeing is stars as your head slammed into the pavement. Oh and a, “oooooffff my bad” before you blacked out.

You blink your eyes a few more times, trying to figure out what in the wretched hells is going on.

“Oh for the love of- I told you to talk to Oghma’s Chosen! Not kidnap her and give her a serious concussion!”

A hazy, short figure comes into your vision. Is that…. a Deep Gnome?

“You told us it was imperative for the wedding! We intercepted the real letter and wrote this one,” another Gnome says, “and it worked! They showed up and everything! We’ve been watching since you told us to talk to her two weeks ago! We were running out of time for talking and bargaining so we just-“

“Kidnapped them!” the man yells, “you kidnapped them!? You- you imbeciles! They are supposed to want to perform for the wedding- you had at least six more hours! AND I GAVE YOU TWO WEEKS!”

“But Walby-“

Walby.

You know Walby! He and Barcus have been dating for a while now and the two are over the moon smitten. You are very happy for Barcus- this man is everything Wulbern could never be.

“No! I have had enough of your silliness! Leave me at once!”

You hear the three Gnomes that supposedly ambushed you walk off in angry huffs. A flash of healing magic fills the air and your head is finally clear- your ears no longer ringing like a triangle.

“My apologies, Ms.Dekarios,” Walby, says, “I wanted them to give you an invitation to come to Barcus’ and I’s wedding this afternoon, but as you heard, they are not the brightest bunch.

“It’s a very last minute ceremony- my mother is ill and she wants to see her ‘baby’ get married before she goes. We wanted to wait another year to plan, but oh you know how it goes!”

Walby looks at you sheepishly as you blink a few more times and let his words sink in. You look at the man and try not to throw up from sitting upright. You must have been out for a while, but not in a “oh that was a wonderful beauty nap” kind of way. You are pretty sure you have a decent amount of blood caked to the side of your head and neck right now.

“Oh, well in that case,” you offer a good natured smile, “I’ll consider this the most unique wedding invitation I’ve ever received and one I may not even have the privilege of remembering.”

The man laughs heartily as you stand up and brush your clothing off. You’re glad you wore a nicer outfit today and decided to bring your violin along- Oghma must have wanted to make sure you were prepared.

“I also wanted to ask a favor,” he says meekly, “if I haven’t fallen out of your good graces before I even stepped foot in them- that is.”

You smile and just roll your eyes.

“Consider it water under the bridge. How can I be of service?”

“Well, you see- we had asked an acquaintance of ours to play music and uh. There’s no easy way to put this, but he was run over by a herd of Deep Rothé.”

“Hmm,” you say with a snort, “tough crowd- Deep Rothés.”

Ultimately, you agreed to perform for the ceremony and the little dinner party afterwards. Your music decorated the air with golds and silvers. Barcus was thrilled to have you there and thanked you immensely for allowing his mother-in-law to “witness true magic” before she leaves this plane.

By the time you were finally leaving- you hear two very familiar voices scream your name and come barreling towards you.

*****************************************

Astarion and Gale are practically sprinting as they try to track your location through the streets of Baldur’s Gate. They had just found a large spot of your blood sticking to the cobblestone and leading to the sewer. Astarion feels sick when he notices the path leads back into the Crimson Palace. Thankfully it was through the sewer and straight to the tunnel of the Underdark.

He had sent you a letter a few days ago and he had confessed his feelings. Instead of waiting for you to respond like a sane person, Astarion got the hell out of the inn he was staying at and began the four day trek to Baldur’s Gate. The nice part about traveling alone and not needing to breath is that Astarion could run from place to place if he was in a hurry or was just fed up with traveling already.

Astarion quickly learned that it was boring to be alone and it’s far more fun to share adventures with you. He also learned that he might be a semi-decent person on his own because, in spite of being without your physical presence, he continues to fucking help people. Astarion is really over this whole moral compass thing (it only extends so far though, he’s still a proud Bastard at heart).

When he arrived at your home about an hour and a half ago, Gale had informed him that you had gone out to the Market and was confused when Astarion said his letter shouldn’t have arrived yet. It took longer than usual to write for… reasons.

Gale showed him the note you received and the two of them pieced together that someone had definitely set up a trap- just not a very good one. Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose when Gale told him that you definitely figured out the letter wasn’t from him, but Gale encouraged you to respond anyway.

A part of him is incredibly worried that some of the remaining Bhaal cultists have taken you since they are the only people he could think of that would be able to mimic his form. His stomach still turns when he thinks about the time they realized Orin had taken you. This is giving him the same queasy feeling.

So imagine his and Gale’s surprise when you are walking away from some random spot seemingly unscathed. Except Astarion won’t believe that until he has inspected you for injuries himself.

You look positively shell-shocked to see him and even more surprised when he’s taking your face gently in his hands and begins to check for injuries.

“Are you alright, Darling?” He says in a far more panicked voice than he means to, “we found blood- I thought the worst and your idiot brother! Of course that letter wasn’t from me! I have class, my Dear! I would never use that paper and WHY IN THE HELLS WOULD YOU FOLLOW ME OF ALL PEOPLE!?”

He knows his ‘rage’ doesn’t sound like rage- it sounds like a man who thought his only love had been on the brink of death only moments ago. Astarion is trying to keep a serious face, but the adoration and love in your eyes when you look at him is making him want to dissolve. He’s thrilled to see that after a whole year of not being together that your feelings haven’t waivered. Neither have his, obviously, but that’s why he’s here.

“I will say, Tav,” Gale says with exasperation, “you even gave Tara a fright- you should be expecting a very long lecture when we get home.”

“Oh I’m sure I will,” you say with a beaming smile, your eyes never leaving Astarion’s, “but I do have quite the story if you would like to hear it?”

Astarion’s grin stretches across his entire face.

“I think a good story, better company, and some wine would make for a fine evening, my Dear.”

“Gross!” Gale says, “but I’ll tag along for some wine.”

Oh dammit.

****************************

If Astarion wasn’t so busy feasting upon you- then he probably would have already hunted down those stupid Gnomes that gave him a fright and found a windmill to fling them from. Gale had left only 15 minutes ago, but Astarion had made quick work in getting you up to his room and having his way with you.

The minute Gale left, the conversation became flirty and teasing- all the want that has been pooling in his body is finally getting the release it needs. You, like always, are a sight to behold.

Your back arches when his tongue drags along your clit and Astarion pushes your hips down into the mattress as your arousal paints his lips. Your moans and desperate cries of pleasure are so delicious and his cock is painfully hard, straining against his leather pants.. He is fighting between taking his time and being selfish- chasing his own pleasure inside of you.

The moment you clench around his fingers is the same moment he unlaces his own pants and begins to remove them. You keen and whine underneath him- Astarion’s name sounds the best coming from you in this state.

Astarion should be a gentleman, hypothetically, and maybe give you a half a second to be a little less dazed from your orgasm. Except Astarion isn’t a gentleman and he isn’t patient- at all.

Astarion lifts your hips up to his until the head of his cock is aligned with your entrance and he thrusts himself inside of you. You immediately wrap your legs around his hips with a yelp of pleasure and your eyes flutter wildly as you take his whole length. Astarion smiles down at you as he slowly rocks in and out of you.

Your fingers find their way to his hair and you pull Astarion’s face down to yours- stunning him with a mind numbing kiss. He snaps his hips at the sensation and the moan you let out causes whatever resolve he had to break. Astarion releases the hold you have on his lips and kisses along your jaw up to your ear.

“Did you like that, my Love?”

You hum in approval and try to pull his mouth back to yours. He interrupts you by thrusting into you two more times with more power than the first one.

“Asta-,,” you attempt to say his name between thrusts, “Astarion please.”

“You didn’t answer my question, Pet,” he teases, “I don’t even know if I know what you like anymore- maybe you don’t even like thi-“

Your legs tighten around his hips as he goes to pull completely out of you. Astarion quirks his eyebrow at you with a smirk as you look at him with desperation.

“I more than liked it- I loved it,” you whisper with your cheeks burning from your shyness.

Oh and how Astarion loves your shyness. His hands fist the sheets as he starts his agonizingly slow rhythm inside of you again- whimpers falling from deep within your chest.

“See, Darling,” Astarion says as his face falls into the crook of your neck, “that wasn’t so difficult, now was it?”

He doesn’t even give you a chance to respond before Astarion’s hips begin to pick up speed and his mouth covers yours. As much as he loves to hear you moan- he doesn’t care to share that experience with any of the patrons that had been obviously checking you out while you were catching up.

Astarion groans against your lips as he continues to fuck you relentlessly- his fangs nip at your lower lip and lap at the tiny droplets of blood that seep from the punctures.

You are a mess underneath him and you feel incredible in every way possible. Astarion never wanted this to stop in the first place- back when he had told you his feelings and you said it would be best to be friends for the time being.

Perhaps that’s what causes him to slow down and kiss you deeply- making up for the lack of speed with more force. One of his hands trails along your chest and begins to tease your sensitive nipples- your walls clench around him hard when he begins to pinch and roll the right one and your orgasm coats him as he moves to play with the left.

You kiss him sloppily and he’s lazily thrusting into you- his own Little Death following yours within seconds. Astarion collapses on top of you as he begins to soften inside of you. The smell of you and him mixed together is intoxicating and your heartbeat is hammering from the pleasure- your eyes glassy and tired with bliss. He laughs breathily before placing a kiss on your swollen lips.

Astarion lifts you up ever so slightly so that he can pull the blanket down and over you, then he adjusts himself and you so that you are curled up with your ear pressed against his chest. He strokes your hair absentmindedly and you lightly draw shapes on his chest.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” you say sleepily, “I’ve missed you so much.”

I’ve missed you too, Darling,” Astarion says while pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I’m happy to be home.”

“Oh I’m sure Baldur’s Gate is-“

“You are my home,” Astarion interrupts you, “I’ve come to realize that wherever you are is where I want to be.”

You look up at him with tears in your eyes and happiness in your heart.

“But what about exploring your new life and all of that jazz?”

“Darling, I wouldn’t have a life if it weren’t for you,” Astarion states, “you helped me kill Cazador and break the cycle of ongoing abuse. You gave me life so I could live it and I want to live it with you. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay with just being friends and holding back my feelings. I want to share my life with you.

“I know this may all seem very fast, but” Astarion grabs his pants off the ground and he feels his stomach turn as he pulls the box out of his pocket, “I know I love you- that’s probably the only thing I’ve ever been sure of in my entire 239 years of existence. I- I wanted to know if you would… marry me?”

Your lips are on his within seconds and the two of you become entangled in soft kisses until you have to pull back for air. You lean your forehead against his and meet his gaze.

“I love you so much, Astarion. Yes- yes I will marry you,” you say tearfully, “I want to share my life with you too.”

[tavyliasin]

Disability Pride Essays - Halsin, Carer Fatigue, and The End Of Healing's Path

Halsin might be one of the last characters you’d be thinking of with disability parallels and chronic conditions - he seems to be pretty well adjusted, arguably easily the most stable of the companions - but that’s where we find another couple of angles to the topic. First is around carers, and the potential for burnout when someone takes on the responsibility for the wellbeing of too many others. The second is more about how Halsin’s story can show us what recovery can look like much further down the line, the result of time, work, and healing. So there is a little mild mention of trauma, but nothing in depth, so whilst there is still a CW here for talk of mental health and healing, it shouldn't be as heavy as other topics. Still, know yourself and feel free to skip whatever you're not in the right place to read~ Your well-being matters. So I hope you’ll forgive me for this one being a little less direct than our other character examinations, but it’s still a topic well worth covering~ 

What is Halsin’s Disability?

When you look deeply and closely at Halsin’s character, and listen to the little throwaway lines he can drop so very casually, you’ll notice a couple of things. First, he talks very casually about an incident that sounds intensely traumatic - years of being held captive by drow - but in a way that suggests, along with his actions, that he’s no longer struggling with the impact of this trauma but has come to accept it. There’s another aspect, too, that we see in the romance scene where he struggles with intense emotions physically transforming him into a bear. Now, this is obviously not a real disability that we see in the real world, but plenty of people do struggle with overwhelming emotions that can leave them feeling like someone different or unable to communicate in the ways they normally would. Beyond this, we see a carer. Someone whose instinct is to support, listen, and quite simply help in any way he can. When we first meet him, he’s very quick to offer his aid in dealing with the tadpoles even if he doesn’t have the solution yet. Halsin simply wants to do everything he can, because he can. 

How Do We See The Disability In The Game?

The bear transformation is something we only really see happening without his choosing to in the romance scene, though at this point I’m almost certain that those of you who haven’t romanced him have encountered the scene somewhere by now. It’s one of the most famous scenes for how unexpected it is, and has been in plenty of promotional materials at this point. Arguably what we see most from Halsin through the game is in his interactions with others, and also if he’s Orin’s victim the things she says in his form are instantly gut-wrenching - talking about being held captive, tortured into losing control, harming innocents - these are easily what we can interpret to be Halsin’s worst fears about himself. Things he keeps well controlled and very carefully in check, with his instinct being to help not harm, although we know it isn’t Halsin, there’s a moment where it’s believable. Painful. And it works because it can reflect the real fears that people who have worked hard on their mental health can have about having a bad day and saying or doing things they would never consciously choose.

How Does This Reflect Real Life?

The thing I keep coming back to as I think about Halsin and his story is how he is similar to Astarion in some ways, which might well entirely be some heavy personal projection going on I’ll admit that one! But where Astarion shows us the early stages of recovery, of trauma still fresh and the difficulties of healing from it, Halsin shows us later stages. There’s more time that has passed, more work that has been done within himself and outside of himself. As a result Halsin has come to that point where he accepts the things that he has endured, even if they are still painful and he doesn’t approve of them, and they are no longer impacting his day to day life. Arguably we see this most clearly when he is quite happy to join in at the brothel with the Drow, despite his past experiences. Now, all that said, there is a point that can be made that someone who talks too casually about their past trauma might not have processed it in the best way, but for the most part what we have is someone who seems to be coping well in their day to day. It’s quite relatable, to see both the earlier stages of healing and those later ones, and comparing them can be helpful to see how far we have come in ourselves as well as the potential place we could be if we keep going. Otherwise, what we have in Halsin is the closest thing Faerun has to a therapist and/or carer. Whilst leadership isn’t his aim entirely, it’s a role he naturally falls into because he has that calm and understanding presence that many around him respect. Arguably, leadership isn’t good for him either - not because he’s bad at it, but because like many who fall into a caring role for the people around them, he doesn’t know when to stop. That’s the thing with caring, you don’t want to say “no, sorry, I can’t help you” even if you’re running on empty. But eventually there has to be a limit, for your own well-being. Just this morning I came across a meme that fits perfectly: “You can’t pour from an empty cup” doesn’t entirely work, because all you get from that is nothing. “You can’t boil and empty kettle” is far more accurate, because not only do you risk damaging the kettle if you keep trying to boil it whilst empty, if you really push it you might just set the whole kitchen on fire.

And this, really, is what we have going on in the Grove in Act 1. Not only is Halsin trying to lead and protect the druids, but he’s also taking in the Tiefling refugees, then going out after the goblins to investigate and protect everyone. He’s stretched himself too thin, not asked for help when it is needed, and as a result we have a Grove in chaos with nobody to prevent the conflicts from escalating between druids and Tieflings, Halsin himself captured, and the goblins now know the way to the Grove to stage an all out attack if the druids don’t perform a forbidden rite first. It’s a mess, and one he has landed in by trying to lead from the front with his fingers in too many pies, but when you do that too much you won’t know which fingers have gravy on and which have custard any more. Maybe that’s a very silly analogy, but good gods did I realise that I’ve been far too close to this myself with taking on too many projects. Luckily I usually know where the line is before ending up in captivity in a goblin castle, but if you’re also reading this and feeling like it’s getting a bit close to home: take a break before you burn down the kitchen. 

Therapy and Therapists

When we look at Halsin as a therapist-like character, which admittedly may come more from the fan created content than the game, there’s plenty there that reflects life. There are a good number of people who go into therapy and care professions because they have direct experience with mental and physical health difficulties. There is a reason why all therapists also see a therapist themselves to cope with their work, and whilst it isn’t universal there is a reasonable venn diagram of people who have felt the same over this. To borrow from my own prior essays, “to truly understand suffering is to avoid being its cause”. Those who have felt harm will often seek to reduce it in others. It’s almost a shame that we don’t get to explore this much further, with how he can easily be a healing and stabilising presence for many of the companions, but that’s where fan works can come in and build on that foundation. I admit I often find myself thinking about how Halsin might use his experience and deep capacity for care to work with each and every one of the companions to help them heal from their own wounds. That, in itself, can be cathartic and soothing. I highly recommend it.

Taking On Too Many Burdens

So that downside of being a carer… I’ve already covered some of this, but we are very close to having a burned out Archdruid crumbling under the immense pressure in Act 1, then we go straight in to Act 2 where he has to face the consequences of past mistakes and all of the guilt that goes along with that. It’s clear he has not forgiven himself for what happened with the Shadow Curse, Thaniel, and Shar’s influence spreading over the region. This can sometimes be seen in real life, too, where someone has tried to help and made things worse, given bad advice, or generally made mistakes that they quietly hold on to for decades. Forgiving ourselves is hard, even when we rationalise it, look at it objectively to know we were young and didn’t know any better, or didn’t have the experience needed to help in the way we would now. But I want to take a moment to remind everyone still here that we are only human, not perfect, not infallible. Mistakes are how we learn, and we should focus on what we can do rather than what we cannot change. In Halsin’s story, we know he has been avoiding the Shadow Curse. He even tells the player that the land should be avoided if at all possible, because he knows the danger there, but still offers to be a guide. It’s difficult to face up to past mistakes, but with the right help and support, Halsin is able to find a way to help at last and ease that burden from his own heart. He’s no longer turning away, running from it, or feeling like there’s nothing he can do - instead he is able to find that solution with the help of the player and companions, healing the land as he heals himself. This really can be such a reflection of trauma and how we handle our mistakes, as well as the importance of knowing when we have taken on too much and need help and support. Just as Halsin asks the player to help him find a way to break the curse, to fight for him to keep the portal open as he retrieves Thaniel, we can see this as a parallel to a carer asking for help or respite care. It’s not saying “this is a terrible burden that I don’t want to bear” but instead “my strength has a limit, your help will make it possible to keep going”. With that support, with being able to know the Harpers can take care of the refugees, Halsin is able to find not only the healing for the land but begin to heal the hurt from the weight of responsibility he has shouldered alone for centuries. And just as a side note here, for those wondering why he seems so guilty about it all, there’s some lore from Early Access that was eventually cut from the game that explains he was the cause of the curse when he accidentally killed Isobel - that set off the sequence of events leading to Ketheric’s desperate actions, Aylin’s imprisonment, and Shar’s curse settling over the land. 

The End of the Path of Healing

Act 3 for Halsin, if the curse has been lifted, really continues to reinforce that this is someone who has learned from his mistakes - both the recent and the distant past. He’s not rushing back to take over the Grove again once his work is done with the Elder Brain, instead he’s finding a new path. One that still allows him to be in nature where he wishes to be, helping the cursed lands continue to heal, as well as caring for the refugees and others who need a place to go. In the epilogue, too, it sounds as if he has learned not to take on all the responsibility himself either, instead sharing the work of caring for his people so that if he is gone for a few days he doesn’t need to worry about it crumbling apart or falling to friction and arguments like the Grove once did under Kagha’s leadership. Halsin shows us that although we cannot take on everything ourselves, we can resolve things when we have the right help and support. He also shows us that our mistakes won’t always define us, nor can our traumas, and although they cannot be erased or undone, there are ways we can reconcile them with ourselves. To move forwards with what we have learned and reach a point where we are no longer so deeply haunted by them.

What We Can Learn From Halsin’s Story

There are a few things we can learn from Halsin’s experiences and how they are portrayed in the game, and largely they serve as an example of that later stage of healing and reconciling past experiences with the present self. This might for some feel like a reflection of themselves now, but for others instead it can be an example that it is possible to make that progress and reach that goal.

Whilst we do see that moment of Halsin not being able to control his Wild Shape in the heat of intense emotions (in this case, lust and passion), it’s also shown that he still does have that control. That he’s learned how to handle that change and bring himself back to where he wants to be - in this case, going from non-verbal in bear form to resuming his usual body shape and calming himself. I feel like this can serve as a good example that although our emotions might still have moments that they overwhelm us, once we have taken that time to process them and learn how to cope with them, we can use those techniques to bring ourselves back to where we want to be. Not easily, of course, but we won’t always be completely at the mercy of the whims of powerful emotions. They’re still there, but what has changed is how we cope with them. Really what I’d like to take away today is that caring for others is a good and positive thing to do, but there must always be a limit. Drawing that line is going to be tough, naturally, but if we continue to try to do too much with caring for others we risk neglecting our own needs and ending up in a much worse place. It’s alright to ask for support even when you’re providing it to someone else, whether through a professional career or through a more casual role of being a carer for a loved one or simply supporting friends through hard times. You won’t always be able to do it all alone, and this is not a failing. It’s normal and reasonable to need respite, help, and support of your own. In the wider experiences of disability, many of us who are disabled learn this the hard way, that we might want independence but there are quite solid limitations to that which need to be worked with and around instead of fighting against them and making things worse. Many of us rely on carers and support to differing degrees, so it is also important to recognise when they may need reminding about not boiling that empty kettle.

So as we finish off this last of the planned long pieces, I encourage you all to keep in mind that healing is possible. That you can be a support to others in the ways that you once needed yourself. But to not let it be to your own detriment, you are still worthy of care and support even as you provide it to others. 

[sailorgundam308]

Got pretty annoyed yesterday while discussing the game with a friend (don’t worry, we’re still friends lol). But truly, I got annoyed at, once more, seeing how there are wrong assumptions weaved into the community discourse - things based out of someone’s ass, apparently, that got traction and now are repeated by players as if it’s true. But, of course, if anyone stops 2 seconds to actually pay attention to the game, these ideas prove to be just wrong.

This friend, for example, was mentioning how Astarion and Karlach NEVER agree or disagree together in anything. That’s a lie. I’ve (me myself, so I KNOW firsthand) been screen shooting every time there’s an agreement between them and when there isn’t. There are much more agreements than disagreements between Astarion and Karlach. They do come across as having different alignments, but they think alike MUCH more than ‘the internet’ (or even some devs?!) tend to believe. They might justify their rationale in different ways but they do agree together and disagree together way more than they disagree with each other. So that is something I personally can attest to.

Then I heard the argument that Karlach and Astarion don’t get unique scenes between each other: again, untrue. The tiefling party scene with Karlach, for starters, is the only unique romance scene for Astarion. The only person who has back and forth with Karlach after the paladins of Tyr are defeated is Astarion. They have (out of the top of my head, at least 4 unique short banters while both are in the party - again, more than Karl with any other companion.

Then the wrong assumption Astarion can’t go to Avernus : he can and he goes, both as ascended and spawn if you’re playing origin Karl. Ascended if you’re playing him.

A lot stems, again, from simplistic and shallow interpretations of both these characters’ story arcs and personalities. Others come from prejudice, from passing judgement on their appearance instead of their “content”.

Moreover, though, there will never be as much this x that content if it’s involving Karlach (and worse for Wyll) SIMPLY BECAUSE there is LESS than A THIRD the amount of content for Karlach in ANYTHING.

For some reason writers/devs took a long while to decide to put the work into Karlach and when they did they clearly made a bet that blew in their faces - that she’d be a lesser origin character and that’d turn out alright. But she’s the second most popular character and because people like her, they are paying attention to her story - and the massive lack of work and resources dedicated to her arc. Imagine if she had received the attention in detail and the game time / in game content, say, shadowheart received? Instead of a temple Shar, we went to Avernus? In place of Shar, ZARIEL made a personal appearance? We could’ve gotten a young Karlach flashback cinematic, an extra dungeon in act 3, then a personal quest closure with Gortash instead of SH’s parents, so we’d know what the fuck happened. As someone who can’t give two shits about SH, that would’ve been incredible to play. Half of that would still have been a blast. But we get nowhere near. And I’m only bringing Karlach to attention here as an example - if you look at Wyll (who was the front page origin boy since the conception of the game), the disparity is even more shocking.

I’ve read on a writer’s twitter a while back (can’t remember who exactly so you’ll have to excuse me), that they were the writers for Durge, and for a time they got to write some stuff for Astarion for a bit, due to some task delegation changes and whatnot, and they explicitly said they “managed to put in things specific to their “main” character (durge) in Astarion’s writing” - or something in those lines. Honestly… what the fuck? Not sure if that was the intention, but to me it sounded like someone with their own precious OC, which they are obviously attached to, pushing content in to benefit their “main”. In a game where there are several “mains” and many with glaringly less content than others. Again, in my interpretation of what I read that day, this information came across as the most unprofessional shit I’ve seen - if you are tasked to write someone else’s character, you should act as that character’s writer - not a fanfic writer trying to push a personal headcanon or narrative because it pleases YOU, in detriment of other characters. It was wild at the time and I just kinda… walked away and pretended I didn’t read it. It was just shocking and not the attitude I expected from a serious professional.

Whether that’s the whole truth or not I can’t say, but what I can say is that this left me with a weird taste in my mouth and perhaps that’s why until today I couldn’t finish a single run with Durge despite trying several. There are other issues with Durge for me personally in term of the actual writing of the sentences and the way they were worded that just seems impossible to take seriously. (But I’m trying to get over it still, as I want to experience this part of the game too, so I won’t give any sort of personal final veredict).

Also, the idea that Durge was supposed to be the main character… that’s a new assumption for me and my friend also brought it up. That sounded very sus and I went to read more about it and, of course, that’s also wrong. In previous BG games, we always played a Bhaalspawn. It would make perfect sense we played one again - but the butler shit, the amnesia, the gore erotic fantasies, that wouldn’t fly for the average BG3 player - and wasn’t supposed to. When they decided to split tav to leave the “absolutely neutral protagonist” they parted with the bhaalspawn narrative that was a very big part of the previous games, so I assume they didn’t want to just toss it, but put it to another “dark tav” or whatever shit that means. And then they doubled down with the evil and edge lord of kitschy horror narrative. It’s FINE. But isn’t supposed to be the main character.

TLDR: instead of taking random assumptions about bg3 as yours, pay attention to the game itself. And think critically about it a bit. All the origins are presented AS equals but they’re nothing but. And Larian should be (yes, troubleshooting tech issues but also) trying to even out the absurd gaps they allowed to happen in integrating the narrative of, especially, Karlach and Wyll into the game. Make more and decent content for them, fix the plot holes, rewrite the shit that doesn’t make sense for them FIRST.

Tbh, I wouldn’t be complaining if Larian had owned it to their content and presented us with Karlach and Wyll as sort of Halsin or Minthara type of companion - non origin, lesser tier of companion. Then the production choices they made would be at the very least justified. And I won’t EVEN start on the fact that these two, Karl and Wyll, are the two PoC origins… the black guy and the southeast Asian woman. Because, oh, boy, things start to look VERY bad when you put THAT into this equation… 👀

[gaysindistress]

I’m having ✨minthara brain rot✨so suffer with me

bg3 masterlist

So hear me out; Minthara doesn’t end up with Tav. In fact, Tav goes off with their first romanced, Gale and they get married. Minthara is upset for obvious reasons but she’s not going to beg Tav to stay with her or anything like that. They’re both adults and she refuses to stoop so low as to damage her dignity like that. This leads to her going to the underdark alone and doing a bunch of badass shit (we’ll get there).

The epilogue comes and goes but that’s not where we pick up.

Our story starts about 5 years after that. Tav is being asked to do some adventurer shit that requires them to go to the Underdark. Something about Spawn going missing and Astarion is worried so he asks his friend to help out. Gale isn’t happy about it but he’s not going to stop them either. He and minthara weren’t exactly friendly or even civil most of the time so he’s not thrilled about it. The problem is that Tav refuses to ignore this request and will not say no, leaving Gale in a rather unpleasant position. All he can do is go with Tav and protect them.

Minthara has successfully taken back her family house and is in the process of rebuilding society following the defeat of the Spider-Queen. During all of this, she meets her bride to be, you. Among the many of forlorn travelers and lost souls, a small band of drow find themselves stranded and desperate for a miracle. Your house had been taken during a battle with the Spider-Queen and you have yet to find another house willing to take you in. Minthara comes across your group as her army and her are surveying recent encounters.

A rather foul squelching sound, that of a blade through flesh, rings through the air as Minthara leads her people into the ruins of House Lelith. As she approaches what may have been a a once elegant home, she hears small grunts and huffs coming from just beyond the archway. She sends three soldiers forward in efforts to flank whoever may be inside before taking up the back.

“If you’ve come to finish us off, speak now and I shall grant you the mercy of a quick death,” a soft yet powerful voice murmurs from her left. A sting and a trail of warm blood seeping from it brings shock and mild surprise but nothing is able to shake Minthara to her core as the sight of you.

She spares the briefest of glances towards you and is completely ill prepared for the pandemonium that washes over her.

“Speak before I split your tongue and cleave your heart,” you demand once more and press the blade more so into her neck. She makes no show that it causes her pain aside from the slight flinch of her skin.

“I hold no loyalty to that viper of a queen if that is what you’re asking,” she casually replies while her heart beats wildly. Your armor is in disrepair; bloodied, torn, and hanging together by haphazard threads but you still wear it with pride. The rest of you is a similar state with your hair unbound and wild while spotted with viscera but your beauty is unmatched.

“If not for her, then who?”

“Do you truly not know who i am?”

She can feel your eyes narrow and scrutinize her before you remove your blade and place it in its sheath.

“Minthara of House Baenre of Menzoberranzan,” you state as you prowl around her and stop only when you’re merely inches away, “A former follower of the Absolute and Oathbreaker.”

Her nose flares at your last words, causing you to chuckle as you cross your arms and lean against the archway. “Touch a nerve did I?”

“Are you one of her little spiderlings?” she instead asks, too overcome by you to engage in any form of clever conversation.

“I should think my declaration to sever your head from your body would answer that question, my lady. Or did the tadpole eat away at your brain more than we’ve been led to believe?”

Her small smirk is what captured you and from that day on, you’ve been nearly inseparable. Your romance appeared to be a complete myth as few ever saw you interact outside of political encounters. Those close to you, however, see the small well times glances, the softest of smiles, and the secret touches between the two of you. Minthara may not be outright in her love and devotion for you but she shows it in her fierce desire to protect you. Never out of sight of you, Minthara is always aware of where you are and who is near you. It is rare that she is even out of reach of you but alas duty calls and this is not possible.

In your private quarters, it is an entirely different matter. Her head is forever resting on your shoulder or in your lap as she basks in your warmth and affection. Many nights you take on the task of doing her hair. She lounges in the bath as you gently work through whatever knots and tangles hide in her moon pale strands. By the fire, she’ll rest her head against your knee as she sits between your legs and you brush out her wet hair. Her eyes flutter closed at the care you take to not pull or tug on her scalp. Quiet moans slip out when you graze her ears and when you chuckle at them, she groans out a weak demand to be silent.

“It is you who cannot be silent, my fearsome beloved.”

She’s told you of Tav but to be truthful it is too caught up in the trauma that she suffered under Orin and the Absolute. Thinking of Tav is often too difficult to manage and with you, there is no need to dredge up old wounds as such. That’s not to say you’re unprepared for meeting Tav but let’s be honest with ourselves, anyone would be unprepared to meet the Hero of Baldurs Gate. Everything is a whirl wind upon their arrival with Astarion making his presence well known, Gale and Wyll discussing whatever it is they talk about it, Karlach and Halsin playful daring each other to lift heavy objects. All the while Shadowheart and Tav are quickly discussing something with Minthara and occasionally asking for Astarion’s input. You are standing just beside the door, waiting for your intended and leader to give a command.

Tav makes a comment about the sheer number of people in the room and not so subtly requests the room to be cleared. Minthara glances around and with a slight nod her people file out, leaving the heroic adventure party and yourself. Tav throws a confused look your way as do the others but Minthara ignores it to lead them to the map of the Underdark she has displayed.

Nearly 10 minutes pass before Tav outright asks about your presence and once more requests that you leave. Ever the observers, Shadowheart and Astarion are quick to notice something is different about you. You are not merely a soldier, a trusted advisor even. Much like the first time you met, you’re causally leaning against a pillar with your arms crossed over armor that’s identical to Minthara’s. They share a look of an epiphany before attempting to quiet Tav however their efforts are futile.

As soon as Tav asks who you are and why you’re still here, you take your opportunity to humble the leader.

“Who I am is none of your concern. we are not on the surface where you can demand things because you simply think you are owed them. You’d do well to remember that you are in the Underdark. This is not your domain and thus have no semblance of authority here. All you’re entitled to know is that Minthara, my lady and my leader, trusts me.”

Tav looks absolutely stunned to hear you speak so directly and curtly but it is Minthara who has the most shocking reaction. She calls to you drow, beckoning you closer because you’re too far from her as is and she may or may not be feeling the urge to ravish you in front of everyone. Minthara may not be one for displays of affection but her not correcting you makes it very clear that you are the single most important person to her and she values you above all else.

Tav be damned.

[dark-tides-in-faerun]

I tend not to read ascended Astarion romances because it makes me too sad, but I will never not be obsessed by this story, because this really isn’t a Tav x Ascendant.

This is a story about a Rosalie, a broken hearted wizard who refused to stay after The Rite of Profane Ascension and who is struggling to come to terms with who Astarion is now, the part that she had to play in it, and the course of fate (read: astarion being a dick) that’s thrown them back into each others lives.

Anyway, long story short, it’s the DLC I would kill for with an Ascendant Lord that is complicated and genuinely terrifying, an OC that I literally adore, and a complex, beautiful plot that fucking smacks.

Honestly, if you haven’t read this, go read it. Just trust me, pls.

@howlsmovinglibrary - i tried to tag ur wecat account but failed miserably so here we are haha

[chaoticunicornsworld]

about Neil Newbon fandom

My native language is not English so if you find grammar error please forgive me.

So here is the thing about Neil Newbon. He is a real person in a real world with a real life. And he works as an actor/artist. For money. Also, I can imagine he is working for fun, but first, for money. His work contains impersonations of fictional character's voices and movements. And also it contains keeping touch with fans. When he streams he is not your friend or boyfriend and he is not an object, he is working. You don’t know shit about him, you just collect the crumbs of his public persona. And as somebody who works in customer service i can tell, it can be different from the real person. I can be flirtatious if it serves the cause, even if I don’t exactly like the people in front of me. I can smile, I can be kind and helpful, I can listen, I can make them seen. And the next moment I can do the same with the next customer. And It's not a lie it’s not manipulating, I just use my customer service persona. And sometimes the stories what i hear can touch me. It is a tiring mental work, it can be overwhelming sometimes as well. So when you buy his prints or cameos, you don’t buy him, or his friendship. You just buy a piece of art, and you can think you buy to be seen for a moment. But if you have to buy to be seen by someone, better find a counselor or a therapist as he always suggests in those videos. If you play BG3, and romance Astarion, there is a scene where he tells you his favorite lines, and at some point he tells you „I love you”. And if you choose „it is to soon” he tells you it can be true if only for this night. That’s what you get from Neil, his attention for that moment. If you watch his streams you can notice people pay to write messages that can be mentioned by him. That’s working for money. Even, if he enjoy it. And I’m not against supporting his work, but please don’t use him as a therapist, or sex object. 

Also about the thirst. I’m a fully functioning woman, so I’m not denying that he is attractive and sexy, and the edits on tiktok about him can be really dirty. I feel ashamed when I see them even if they can affect me. Again, those pictures and videos are not him, those are his roles. Even if they are from interviews, or from public events. Those are the characters played by Neil. (And yes, there can be a character for Neil Newbon as a public person.) Not him. Please try to contain yourself, don’t embarrass yourself and don't objectify him, or anyone else. It’s humiliating. You can bring back the energy to your real life with your real partner, it could make your relationship better. Be aware, what you see isn't Neil, it is his art. How would you feel if somebody used a piece of art from you to look at you as a sex object? How would your partner feel about it? What do you think, how his wife feels about it? Or how will his daughter feel when she sees them?

And last. If you claim you “Love him” and then feel happy about that made up scenario as he is single, you don’t know about love at all. First of all, how could you love somebody you don’t know? What do you love about him? I can tell you, you love your imaginations about him. And it’s a form of avoiding real relationships when you love fictional and/or unavailable persons. You don’t have to face real emotions, if you chose that path. But it is not real. It’s a maladaptive coping mechanism. But If we accept theoretically that you “Love him”, and you tell you are happy because his marriage ended and he is single, that also isn’t love. It’s more like possessing. (And I can’t even tell if it’s true or just made up by some twisted mind.) Do you really think love means being happy for someone being unhappy? Do you really think if he is single then a person like you, with your mindset can be a real pair for him? Keep your dignity please, and let the real person keep his boundaries.

[ashisurana]

As much as I don’t blame people who choose Astarion to finish ritual, I don’t understand why people choose it because “it’s what he wants”.

I mean… a whole story of Astarion is him being abused in every aspect of his life. When you’re asked about what he wants and what he is afraid of the correct answers are “Freedom” and “forever feeling like a slave to someone else” (both answers made him a little annoyed but they’re correct, he admits that).

And then you have ritual. You clearly can see that Astarion is losing himself. Your character can look into his eyes and actually see that he isn’t himself and only thinking about power he might to calm. Why he’s thinking that being powerful is the only way to being free is topic for different analysis but you already, before you let him finish ritual can see that something is changing.

If you let him ascend you can say bye to Astarion you know, he will not treating your character equally, he will always think about himself as a better. He humility you, treating like a “pretty thing in his collection”. He doesn’t love your character (if you romance him), there’s no love in this relationship anymore. He can even say “(…) I love you, because it is what you want to hear, yes?”(or something like that because I didn’t make a screenshot of this scene).

If you don’t let him ascend he will actually thank you for that later. You can say he didn’t change but I’d say that if you don’t let him finish ritual he actually changed too. He is not scared of the future (or at least not scared of shadows of his past). If you romance him, he’s still love you… to add more reasons why ascended Astarion don’t treat you equally, he can say (if you he didn’t finish ritual) “we are… equal”.

But why I don’t think he actually want to finish ritual? Well… staring with what Astarion wants from the very beginning. Freedom. He isn’t free after ascension. He’s metaphorically slave of power and shadow of Cazador. He basically became Cazador 2.0, he acts like his old master and treats your character in the very similar way Cazador does to him. There’s no freedom from his past. He is acting like the only thing he knows, Cazador. When we let him to finish ritual we just let circle of abuse to star again. I saw people saying that “duh, it’s still better than letting go so many vampires spawns into the world”. Well first, you don’t need to free them and second… ascended Astarion is a threat not only for Baldur’s Gate. He is saying often that his intention aren’t peaceful, he wants more and more… in manner of good choices it’s absolutely horrible in consequences.

Another reason is more for people who romance him but there’s plenty of moments in game when your character is in danger and Astarion is actually very worried about you. Saying something what Astarion would absolutely say “I almost got worried about you” which just means he was very worried. He is trying to protect your character in many aspects. Like for example in Act III when you meet this obsessed with blood drow she’s starting to convince your character to drink a strange potion. When you decline her request she will still trying to change your mind which made Astarion angry “you don’t understand that she/he said ‘no’?”. Not only he’s worried about your character but also he understands that someone doesn’t want to do something.

And what it has to ascended Astarion? Well… in scene when he’s changing your character into vampire you actually can say “no”. Astarion will not like that, he don’t respect your boundaries anymore. Yes, if you repeat that he won’t change you but it will also made him to broke up with you.

Well… anyway. It’s already way too long. I just wanted to say again that I don’t blame anyone who chose to finish ritual (after all who I’m to even blame anyone for that lol in one of my playthroughs I did it too so). I just wanted to share some thoughts and y’know

[ladyduellist]

Epistles of Saints & Sinners

Chapter Summary:

Tension grows amongst the companions as secrets are revealed.

⸺⋘✤⋙⸺

Story Summary:

When Astarion meets the humble bard, Tav, he soon finds out he's the only one between them that knows they are bound as soulmates through their marks. Deciding it's more trouble than its worth, he refuses to tell her along the course of their journey across Faerûn.

But, unbeknownst to him and their companions, Tav is harboring a gruesome secret that she only thought was nothing more than a traumatized period in her life.

As they both come to face to face with their pasts and presents, will they choose to move forward or let it consume them?

Healing isn’t linear—after all.

⸺⋘✤⋙⸺

Chapter 14: Tension

Ao3

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Main Page & Chapter List

Word Count: 3.7k

Pairing: Astarion x female bard Tav

CW: Language, Sexual Language, Blood & Violence, Act 1 Spoilers

⸺⋘✤⋙⸺

We’ve all had to learn to make accommodations. And it has caused me to miss my peace amidst the night orchids. Though the journey has been difficult, I can feel bonds starting to form. Where deceit lies and trust begins, I have yet to learn. I wonder, how many of them I will be able to call a friend when this is over.

— Shadowheart, diary entry 26 in newly bound entries of surviving tadpoles & outlanders

⸺⋘✤⋙⸺

Such a strange idea waiting for the heart to be broken.

Stranger still, waiting to break one’s own heart.

The tale of any relationship unfolding like origami with worn creases trying to make it stabilize.

Tav floated on her back in a pond, staring up at the clouds. Undergarments christened by the crystal blue waters, hugged her body tightly. She danced her pruning fingers on the surface of the liquid, summoning puckered ideations of an unrealized romance between her and Astarion.

In her dreaming state, she imagined the vampire being the one to pull the sword out of her stoned heart. Pulling and pulling until the curse set upon her was alleviated.

A tightness clasped around her throat when she imagined his waves of hoary tresses entwined within the billowy vanilla clouds passing by. Oh, to feel a hunger for someone one day only to experience mourning their touch the next.

She cupped both of her cheeks. Her fingers ran down the knobs of her collarbone, sides of her breasts, strumming her ribs with the same wandering journey Astarion once spoke to her about when he caressed her in his tent. Tenderly. Sweetly. Unbound to feel her executioner’s teeth covet her flesh. Desperate to resurrect the forspoken recollection of his touch. Letting her float up to heaven with his voice near her ear, only to drag her back down from her Elysium to remind her she was still alive.

Seven days had passed and she missed his scent in her hair.

Seven days had passed and she missed his hands encircling her waist.

Seven days had passed and she couldn’t help but imagine that who she thought him to be, was a myth of her wishful beliefs.

He planted a seed and she became his wine. He eclipsed her sun and she served his darkness. He fed her etiquette and she satisfied his appetite.

The bard was reluctant to admit that she had been captivated by a man that may not fully exist. A black mamba whose dubious gaze clocked her every move, before capturing her with his venomous bite one too many times.

Lips parting to push out a soft puff of air, she let her hands fall listlessly back into the water. She roughly skimmed them across the surface—attempting to fist the escaping liquid—much like she wanted to continue holding onto her embryonic feelings towards the pale spawn.

He seemed unhappy when she told him they should end their companionship, but not in the way a rejected lover would by tearing through the night on unhallowed ground. It was disappointment shadowing his eyes and a dramatic quip placated upon his perfect lips he left her alone with on the pathway.

“Well, pardon me while I go die of a broken heart,” Astarion professed in pseudo shock, placing a showy hand across his chest. ”It’s unfortunate really—I thought we got along rather melodically. Though, I’m sure there’s plenty of other tadpole-brained bards in the proverbial sea. Please do have a splendid evening,” He paused in thought before articulating his final word to her. “...songbird.”

Gods! It bothered Tav how uncaring he seemed. It’s not as if he wasn’t being honest with her when he spoke about certain subjects, but he was clearly omitting truths—finding loopholes around her concerns with his ambiguity. His flippant attitude towards her, vexed her in ways she shouldn’t even concede herself to plummet her thoughts upon.

Did he truly have little to no interest in her? Better yet, why did he continue to force himself to have sex with her if he didn’t like her? She felt used at times, like she had been the one taking advantage of him.

Is that what she had been doing this whole time? Relying on him to provide her with the affection she besotted after in her daydreams? Were they both only using each other?

But, what about what she actually wanted? What she began to unchain her shackled heart for—

Her hand rose out of the water like a reawakened invocation for her idleness and settled delicately on the nearly healed bite marks above her breast tissue. The songstress tapped at the tiny dim brown dots making up her soulmate mark that he had appeared to fixate on betwixt the fang marks.

Why did he choose this spot? She wondered.

Tav wasn’t sure she was comfortable with him feeding from her privately anymore. She knew he wasn’t fully there when he bit her. That far off look—his complete withdrawal from their intimate moment—Astarion had been completely overtaken by the ephialtes she knew he relived day in and day out. Though, what if he accidentally harmed her during another episode?

It was at a crossroads she stood at. One leading into a clear meadow of amnesty from his former life and the other leading into the bleak caverns of the underworld where all his torments resided.

Yet, what of the middle path? The one waiting to be traveled. With deadened forest roots risen out of silted earth and life brimming inside resting tree cavities. Impossibilities being the catalyst for possibilities.

“I did the right thing,” she voiced aloud in reassurance to herself, knowing not even her hymns resounding from the valley in the mountains could save them.

For now.

⸺⋘✤⋙⸺

The road leading to the Mountain Pass disentombed secrets from their residing magic casters.

Upon saving the aggressively cautious Barcus Wroot, he informed them that he saw a rather large fire engulfing a building north of the windmill the goblins tied him to.

And with the usual debates to lend aid to more hopeless souls in the Wilderness, they swiftly arrived at Waukeen’s Rest Inn.

Flaming Fists scattered about. Some dead; some alive. Drow bandits and goblin raiders laying around in their own pools of blood like painted ragdolls. Knights screaming and screaming at the sealed doors of the inn—until they flung open.

More are found dead. Suffocated from the smoke. Burned alive. Counsellor Florrick barely intact, almost succumbing to the fumes polluting her lungs. She was desperate to find the Duke Ulder Ravengard, father to Wyll, kidnapped and taken to Moonrise Towers.

Wyll does not rest for several days. Their journey had suddenly become more than any of them bargained for. He pleaded with Tav to find his father on what she knew would be an imperative mission. She does not refuse.

Later, Mizora arrived with outstretched cambion wings, to castigate Wyll for disobeying Zariel’s orders to slay Karlach. His breach in their pact cost him his appearance. Thick onyx horns sprout, curling backwards from the handsome brown-skinned man’s forehead. Thin slices of boney cartilage protrude under his skin on his upper cheeks and neck. He writhed in pain: cursing her; the hells; himself.

And then, disharmony struck. With eddies of discord blowing over the camp.

Gale informed everyone that he was a literal walking bomb. The Netherese Orb inside his chest would not calm lest its hunger be consummated in arcane artifacts imbued with magic.

“Let me get this straight,” Astarion frowned, holding his sharp jaw. “Any type of armor, weapons, or items we find with strong magical properties that—oh, I don’t know—could probably assist us on this godsforsaken odyssey, will have to be consumed by a man whose feet are already in his own grave?”

Tav slowly nodded, feeling a pit in her stomach. This was the first interaction the former lovers had in a week beyond simple civil exchanges.

Ever scrutinizing her under his dark lashes, his age lines deepend around his mouth as he contorted his lips. “For one man?”

Again, she nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

Her heart ached in tandem with her gradual breaths. And much like her time wading as a forgotten mermaid in the pond’s embrace, her broken thoughts about Astarion momentarily returned, before she quickly caught them to tie around the roots of water lilies so they could drown at the bottom of her murky watery floors.

“Gale is our friend. We won’t abandon him,” she hesitantly replied, knowing they could possibly get caught in the explosion if the orb decided to activate. “I will not see him left for dead like his goddess once did to him!”

Stormy eyes swept over to the wizard. His shame was palpable. Innocence lost to Mystra; taken by the weave. Tav shared his sentiment. They had both loved someone so religiously, that they committed the treason of destroying their bodies in their names. Omens foreshadowing cumbersome emotions over future romances.

Through their suffrage did they offer penance, Intercessory prayers to the seats of worship. Side by side with the saints they prayed in earnest, Only to be answered in blood. Farewell, go with the gods.

Shadowheart was monotone, critical with her doubt. “And you would bet his one life over the rest of ours?”

Tav pushed her index finger into her chest firmly. “What I would bet is that we should give him the opportunity to find real treatment for his affliction. Do not make me choose, Shadowheart,” she pleaded. “Have you all forgotten your own requests and the dangers that belie them already?”

The cleric concentrated on her response, offering little more than a sigh. “Very well.”

Wyll’s cathartic tone made its presence known like the curling heat from a loaf of fresh bread. “Gale has been with us from the beginning. Have we truly any right to condemn the man at this juncture? His suffering is no more or less than our own. Besides, finding items for the orb to consume shan’t be too difficult to come across.”

The songstress nodded in agreement. “Wyll makes a valid point. Even if we have to take on a few more quests along the way to secure those items, we—”

Astarion interrupted her, huffing out an annoyed laugh. He threw up his hands in defeat and walked towards his tent to retrieve his daggers.

Tav called after him as he marched out of camp. “Astarion, wait—“

“Let him go, soldier,” Karlach mumbled within earshot of her. She had kept mostly to herself during the dispute and it surprised the womanly elf suddenly hearing her speak.

“She-lak! Have you gone mad?!” Lae’zel chastised, snarling her hand to emphasize her point. “We are soon to become ghaik and instead you would ask us to additionally take on this burden as well? If he is too weak to survive his ordeal, then leave him to his fate.”

They should be upset. At Gale. At her. This was too much to ask of them. The cold inviting shroud of Death itself would be preferred over breaking up their entourage at this stage. Choices came in extremes for this predicament: succumb to one’s fate alone or continue risking each other's lives with their yesterdays.

A heavy paw patted the bard’s shoulder. “Yet, Gale still walks amongst us for the time being. Let us not be so hasty to cast out one of our own knowing what awaits us in the Shadowlands. We will need all the help we can get.”

The scent of oak and fruits hit Tav’s olfactories.

Halsin.

It was the prospect of having found ‘infernal iron’, that Halsin offered his altruistic services to seek out Dammon the blacksmith. Back to Emerald Grove did he travel—the wood druid comparable to the solstice in Kythorn. A warm bear steeping in nature’s gracious light amidst a field of upturned sunflowers.

The bard turned to smile at the man towering over her. “Were your travels kind to you?”

“I expected you to be further along the pass by now, but I am grateful I’ve managed to catch up—given my middle-age amongst the youthful,” Halsin chuckled. “And before you ask, Dammon is working on the infernal iron piece as we speak. He said it should be ready for Karlach by the time we head back down in the area to seek out the Underdark.”

Karlach fisted her hands at her sides, shaking excitedly. “Eeeee! I don’t know what to say! Halsin, I would pick you up and swing you around if I could! Thank you so much for this.”

“Enough of this foolishness!” Lae’zel roared, walking through the crowd of their group. “I would rather slice open my own throat than stand here another moment to witness anymore of these inane activities!”

The space before them grew silent. It was scarcely a revelation when the gith expressed her displeasure, but the intensity of her anger directed at them had never attained this level.

Finding her spry footing, Tav paraded after the githyanki. “Lae’zel, please at least tell me where you are going in case something were to happen.”

Lae’zel continued ahead until she arrived at her tent, grabbing up a waterskin and her longsword. “I’m going to speak with Astarion.”

⸺⋘✤⋙⸺

The sound of clashing steel, reminded Tav of setting personal boundaries.

Cold metal striking with brute impact against each other. Forceful, yet necessary. The promise of fatality or defense depending on how the blade made contact. Testing the resolve of one’s faith in their morality by striking during that perfect opening with the brunt of a pommel.

Tav had no plan when she decided to track them down. Haplessly relying on her compassionate magnetism to speak with her obstinate comrades and their matrimony to their own causes.

Which brought to mind the actual disposition of her charisma. Most bards were gifted with the art of persuasive speeches or gregarious notions. Their outgoing personalities flirted with music and charmed the delights of people far and wide.

However, she relied entirely on thoughtful observation and processing to eventually deliver direct oration. But, her unchosen leadership required curtailing days into mere minutes. There would be no quarter extended for her verdicts in most cases.

So, when the bard arrived at her destination, the performance had already begun.

The staged cathedra of Astarion and Lae’zel’s bladed pirouettes, oversaw the valley below. And, oh, how the heavens breathed upon patches of wheat, kissing their florets of golden chartreuse in waves.

It was quite evident why Lae’zel was a known poster child for her crèche. Donning trousers and a black leather harness barely covering her breasts, her longsword sang with abiding precision as she swung it sideways towards the vampire.

He ducked down, narrowly missing the slice cutting heavily through the air. Protruding out his limber leg, he attempted to trip her stance only to be rebuffed by her springing backwards.

“I’ve seen better sweeps from a hatchling, spawn,” the yellowish-green woman taunted.

Acrobatically, he spun a short sword in his hand. “I was only testing your nimbleness, my friend.”

“I am in no mood for tests. Come and strike!”

Tilting his head slightly towards Tav’s location, he pressed a finger against his lips. “Hush a moment.”

A lone tree hugging a section of rocky crags near their spar, provided instant refuge for the bard. She hid behind it, covering her mouth to control her breathing. Tav had little interest in eavesdropping, but to manifest now, could possibly cause Lae’zel to erupt further into her rage.

“What is it that you hear?”

Anticipating the rogue had likely heard her, the songstress peeked around the tree trunk, catching a wide smirk clinging at the corners of his mouth.

“My mistake. It must have been a ballad upon the wind,” he replied. “Shall we continue?”

Oh, he definitely knew.

Astarion looked out of place in the midst of the shimmering bronze sun rays bouncing off the ragged stones of the mountain. An achromatic timepiece from a bygone era. Baroquely carved ivory abs and chest exposed to serve as a fable that drew enamored breaths on top of an isolated summit.

She could not thaw her eyes away from him and the thoughts that persecuted her previous choices. To feel naked flesh pushed against naked flesh again as that translucent cage once had entrapped her underneath him back in the forest clearing.

Tav clutched at her shirt. No, stay focused.

Monogramming the ground with their steps, the pale elf dodged Lae’zel’s oncoming attacks more than executing his own.

“You seem angrier than usual,” he cheekily commented.

Lae’zel perked her brow. “Are you not also frustrated with how things are?”

“An understatement,” Astarion scoffed, sidestepping a vertical swing of her weapon. “Though, the plebs have the majority ruling here.”

“Tsk’va! You speak true,” she spat. “Once we arrive at the crèche and I am granted liberation by the zaith’isk, our brainwashed leader will see that this expedition’s flaws lie within herself.”

Tav rolled her eyes. She was not in the least bit shocked to hear Lae’zel bashing her to Astarion. Par for the course with that batlike snout of hers.

“Speaking of, what is your status with the bard?”

“My status? You make it sound like I recruited her in my endless harem of simps! But, to answer your question, she made the mistake of cutting things off between us. It’s all rather nauseating and best left as some poor soul’s lost sonnet,” he reported with a sly grin.

Bastard, Tav swore in her head.

The githyanki relaxed her stance, stopping her sword from cruising into another onslaught. “I have misjudged you.”

Astarion rested his weapons at his sides. “Oh? And which part about me did you misjudge? My godsgiven beauty? My expertise in poisoning the drinks at that nasty goblin party? Please do regale me with tales about me.”

“I have been watching the way you perform in battle. When you bare your teeth to rend our enemies necks—I cannot help but notice the primal instinct in your eyes. Should you allow me to swill your taste, I can promise both our blood red urges will be fulfilled,” she recited poetically.

I’ve never heard her voice so soft before—wait, is she hitting on Astarion?! Oh gods, the bard grimaced, once more covering her mouth as she gasped.

The vampire cocked his head to the side, examining her intensely. “What exactly are you trying to say?”

Lae’zel held her sword to the side, gripping the hilt tightly. She narrowed her eyes at the spawn inquisitively. “Why have you not tried to bed me yet?”

Astarion offered a short laugh. “I was not aware the gith knew how to flirt.”

“Tsk, my people are capable of many things and I thought given your rakish behavior, you would seek out my bedroll,” she aggressively stated, with a rosiness filling her cheeks.

“Hmm. May I approach?” He pointedly asked.

Tav watched as he strode up to the petite woman, using his hips as part of his usual gait when he meant to seduce another.

He bent down to whisper into her ear, a few of his curls—those same curls Tav loved winding her fingers around—tactfully dusted the githyanki’s temple.

Lae’zel took a step backwards, conceding to whatever he told her from ochre colored irises. “Very well, but know this: I will not wait long before I take another.”

She bowed respectfully to him, taking up her belongings to head back down the passageway down into camp.

“You can come out now.”

Tav scanned the area before stepping out from behind her sanctuary of the tree. Particles of dust in the dusked sun, floated excitedly through beams casting final gleams through branches.

Astarion fumbled with a waterskin he retrieved from the ground, dousing his body with its contents. “Why were you hiding?”

She averted her gaze to peer at the now dimming sunlight, trying to distract herself from droplets of water scandalizing his bare torso. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Ah! Are you sure it wasn’t to listen in on some juicy gossip to spread around?” He teased.

“I assure you that falls out of my own interests,” she insisted, stopping a few feet from him. “I didn’t know you and Lae’zel were…friendly.”

“It would appear that I’ve managed to impress her in more ways than one,” the spawn said, twirling a hand in the air. “She has come to find me quite stimulating.”

The bard stared down at him. Hunter to hunter ready to pursue the game of taste. The killing time.

“Out with it, I don’t have all day to stand around waiting for your tongue to loosen,” he gibed, pursing his lips like a bow.

She jutted her left hip, stationing her hands firmly on either side of hips, fingers pointed downwards. “Did you accept her proposition?”

Astarion circled around her as a devil would compass a prophet, tempting a soul to waste.

She felt his undeath exhalation furl the tendrils at her nape. “The mask of jealousy does not suit that lovely face of yours.”

“Who said I was jealous? Maybe I’m asking because I’m hopeful your next bedmate will relinquish me of my ‘blood bag’ duties,” Tav contested, tracking his movements by the light route of his feet.

Liar.

Of course she was lying to herself. She was irrevocably jealous and they were both tackling the other for control.

Astarion roosted himself back in front of her. “Aww! Has my bite proven to be a tad too much for you, darling? Can’t quite escape how it makes you feel.”

Ah, he was toying with her. Implying more than just a general weakness of strength, but the arousal he knew so readily poured in the middle of her thighs when he pricked his fangs into her suppleness. The arousal that seemed to appear out of habit when he was near.

She blew out a sigh, struggling to moderate her accelerating heart rate. “Assumptions make an ass out of you.”

“Is that right? Then, let your mouth rest and pull out that blade by your side,” he purred thickly, reaching out to thumb the busk of her underbust corset.

“For what?”

“To spar of course,” the vampire casually unveiled.

Tav wrapped a tight hand around his wrist, forming half moon nail marks into his skin “Is that a challenge?”

“No, sweetheart. It’s an invitation,” he crookedly smiled.

⸺⋘✤⋙⸺

Notes:

Githyanki Words

She-lak = benevolent burden Tsk’va = shit Zaith’isk = purifier, device to remove mind flayer parasites

[salemcantupdate]

So this is my updated shipping and favorites perspective, given my prior one I no longer agree with.

First things first, I believe in big polycule ship, everyone is together and dating. (Sobs in that’s not the case).

But! My favorite ships that isn’t just massive polycule (preface I am a multishipper):

Gale and Astarion, aka, Bloodweave. Listen, it’s all big now, we all know about it. Opposites but the same, walking the same path, they can make each other so much worse or so much better. Hubris vs self preservation, both essentially having the possibility to become a god. Both have been beaten down and belittled by beings far more powerful than them, one knowing the abuse and the other not. Also the manipulative hatefuck to love would be incredible.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart, aka Silverheart. Classic enemies to rivals to lovers. Both have been mislead and brainwashed by evil female goddesses that demanded total obedience, that both people completely dedicated themselves to until they realized everything they knew was a lie. Whats more romantic than fighting and getting bloody and then fighting over who tops?

Wyll and Karlach, (I don’t know their ship name, may I suggest Devilbound?) is one that I’m still kinda iffy about honestly. I’m not sure if I can see them as explicitly dating, but I can see them being best buddies who fuck sometimes. I can see them making a deal like “If neither of us are married in a decade let’s just marry each other.” Like they aren’t actively in love or awed by each other but there is deep respect and they would fight and die for each other. And I also headcanon that if you romance Karlach and then go to Avernus with her, Wyll HAS to join and it’s gone be a weird little polycule thing I don’t CARE.

So, another thing. I really really like a threesome of Karlach, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart. The Ladies. But like, Lae’zel and Shadowheart both immediately love Karlach. Lae’zel being like “You WILL respect her” and Shadowheart like “She could carry me to safety.” Are they not blatantly simping??? Like I think they would hatefuck and then stare at Karlach and be like “We need her too.” Two scary women and then the golden retriever girlfriend.

Wyll and Astarion isn’t one that really calls to me, though I get the appeal. Monster and monster hunter, Wyll being the hero that Astarion always dreamed of saving him so long ago. So on and so forth. I just prefer a Redeemed Durge playing that role for Astarion?? But I definitely get the appeal.

Wyll and Gale, I haven’t seen anything for. I don’t know if anyone ships them. But listen, these two would try and one up each other in wowing and wooing the other, Gale with the weave and Wyll with the stories of old. Imagine Wyll trying to get old and out-of-shape Gale to dance in his physical body. They are both 100% into worshipping their partner, so them worshipping each other would just be so cute to me.

Now, this one really surprised me. But I really like Karlach and Astarion??? Like, cause, OK. If you romance Astarion as Karlach, you can’t actually have sex with him in his first romance scene cause it’ll burn him. This causes Astarion to panic, immediately forced him out of his comfort zone, and also ensures a route in which you never have to have sex with Astarion??? Which I know I wish I could do in a normal route! So lowkey adore those two. Also, they’re literally black cat and golden retriever??? Someone who literally went through Hell and lost all bodily autonomy for so long but still laughs and smiles and has so much hope compared to someone who was beaten to hopelessness. It’s cute! But I also ship this in specifically the asexual way. They kiss and cuddle and bump heads and are adorable, but I can’t really see them having sex. That’s just me though haha.

Durge and Gortash obviously fucked and were so in love with each other in such a horrible twisted way. If Gortash ordered it, Durge would stay their hand. Durge prayed for forgiveness, begged for it, promised, swore, vowed that he would still kill everyone, kill all. But he was in love, he was obsessed, and Gortash may have been able to pull Durge from Bhaal’s grasp, only for Gortash himself to fall to the depths of depravity. I need more fucked up fics for these, with all the gore dirt and blood. I want it to be like the movie Hellraiser.

Durge and Astarion is by far my favorite for “canon” routes. It’s just, Astarion doesn’t feel like he’s a damsel in distress being saved, he doesn’t want that. He wants to be your equal, he wants to help you, and as Durge you are able to save each other from the hunger, from the urge, from the “monster”, from the Father. Both were created to be a tool, to be used, for a singular purpose to serve. And both break free, and then have the choice. Shall they become what they were made to be? What they are destined to be? Or take a shit on destiny and be truly happy?

Now for bear-daddy Halsin. He’s more difficult, as his story isn’t fully explored in the plot of the game and he was mostly added as a proper companion because he was so popular. Which I’m extremely happy about cause I fucking love him. But! Due to this, it’s hard for me to ship him with anyone. I’ve seen some people argue for Kagha or Rath, but I personally disagree. I do like Astarion and him, or a poly with him, Astarion, and Redeemed Durge. Fighting the “beast within” and all that, Halsin in the more metaphorical sense. BUT, let me offer something up as an idea, a concept if you will. Gale and Halsin. NOW, now, let me explain. This isn’t JUST them being my two favorite romance options and me being sad I can’t be with them both. But! Both were young men suddenly thrust upon with a massive amount of responsibility and faith put in them; Halsin becoming a commander and archdruid as an apprentice during the war against Ketheric, Gale with being chosen by Mystra, taught by her, and then becoming her romantic partner. A literal goddess. And I’m one of the people who headcanon that their interactions started when Gale was a teenager. Gale both believes he is the best and deserves to die, Halsin has never once believed in his ability to lead. Also Halsin explicitly notes he will miss the library at the grove, and GUESS WHAT GALE HAS? A library. But like, imagine Gale making a magic teleportation circle thing that goes from his tower to the middle of the forest with a little cabin that Halsin lives in and they can easily travel and visit each other and fbskfhwkfjw. Also, both of them having weird sex scenes (that I absolutely adore). Gale with astral projection and Halsin with bear. I bet Gale is one of the few companions who’d be like “Oh you’re a bear? Chill, not the weirdest sexual experience I’ve had.” Halsin would also smile and nod along and sip tea and Gale goes on his long long rant and then— gah it could be so cute. Cottagecore meets academia. I’m gonna call their ship name CottageAcademia. I will take criticism on that name. I’m dumb.

Speaking of, if I failed to mention, Halsin and Gale are my absolute favorite romance options. Gale makes me giddy every single play through and I break my heart every time I have to say no to him for a different romance (like Astarion). He’s just… I find him so charming and cute and I love him and I GAJDHAKSHQK.

Anyways, npc involved ships. (Also I can’t say anything about Minthara cause I literally don’t know her, never played evil route)

Karlach and Dammon is cute, but, eh? I don’t get much from it personally. I think Karlach and Alfira would be cuter.

A fucked up ship that I like is Astarion and Raphael. It… yes, I know, it’s terrible, it’s abusive. But it’s juicy, it’s delicious, the best of the poisoned apples. There’s a fic on AO3 that’s just fantastic even though it’s only got two chapters so far, it’s called Palmarosa by thespectaclesofthor

… The Emperor and Gale. LISTEEENNN, it’s just, Gale is the only one ok with mindflayer Tav. And like, Emperor is smart. It’d be funny. Come on.

Another fun fucked up ship that I haven’t seen much of, Minthara and Orin the Red. It’s bad, it’s terrible, it’s so fucked up, but I like it.

Barcus and Wulbren, no, I don’t think it’s healthy. But Barcus clearly loves Wulbren so damned much and I just want the poor stupid gnome to be happy godsdammit all.

Apikusis and Kagha. So, I don’t know if anyone else has spoken to the Druid Apikusis, but she is one of the few druids who is desperately against the rite. And when I spoke to her after, she said she saw the old Kagha in the woman, was desperate that what she saw was true. What if they were girlfriends? Then Kagha fell to the shadow druids, and now that they’re back they can fall back into love? I just see so much possibility in them!

Olly and Rugan got down and dirty after barely surviving the gnolls and I’ll put money on that.

Omeluum and Blurg, they just seem like science husbands. They’re married and I refuse to take criticism on this.

That’s all I can really think of, but for characters I’m just absolutely obsessed with: He Who Was and Abdirak are my favorite npc’s. Gale and Halsin are my favorite companions.

Now, my personal opinion on class/race Tav/Durge romance for each character.

Shadowheart: Selune Cleric for obvious reasons, race I don’t think super matters. But I do like Durge, connect on amnesia. Just figure out how cleric and a Durge works haha.

Lae’zel: Githyanki who defected from the gith and has been living peacefully in hiding until recently (so a class that gives peaceful options) Tav

Astarion: Redeemed Durge, any race any class. I’m personally doing a Drow Spore Druid. But a paladin or cleric could also be super cute.

Gale: Wild Sorcerer / Bard, and I personally prefer gnome? But any race is still fine. Also Tav or Durge work fine to me, he’s gonna be a big simp. Though, I do personally like the idea of you becoming the mindflayer in this route. He would use magic to disguise you and it’d be cute

Wyll: Tiefling Bard… I know it’s the first that’s so specific but come on. He becomes a devil, he loves stories of old, y’all dance together. I think it’s cute. I also prefer Tav here, I just can’t see a circumstance where he looks past the murder of Alfira to romance a Durge.

Karlach: Honestly she’s the one I’m least sure over, other than I like being smaller for her. I also like the idea of a paladin / bard for her?

Halsin: Literally anyone and anything as long as you’re down to fuck a bear.

These are all just my own opinion, added it cause I know sometimes I wanna see what other people think is the best “romance route” for a character.

But that’s the closing! These perspectives might change again, but for now this is my thoughts on everything shipping and romance related (that isn’t explicitly canon).

[cinnamontails-ff]

Why this is the perfect cover for "Accountant's Guide"

Alright, folks! It’s been a week of coming to terms with my overflowing emotions regarding this beautiful piece of cover art for the Ukrainian translation of Accountant’s Guide, and I am ready to wrestle it all into an essay.

Spoilers for the story ahead! It’s been finished since September 2023, so either read it here or proceed at your own risk!

First off, a huge, huge thank you to Marko_Wowchok for taking the time to translate my work and of course, the incredible @razinbee for creating a cover that, quite frankly, I could see as an ad for the next Studio Ghibli movie. You are both so very talented and your love and care for my story is so, so appreciated!

Now, as for the piece itself: Let’s start with the choice of showing just their hands, clasped intimately atop a piece of paper. It’s something I never would have come up with in a million years, but it’s absolutely genius. There’s a sense of subtlety to it. It leaves room for imagination because you don’t actually see what they’re doing; it’s simply implied that they’re most likely going at it on the desk (again). I love this. Because while I wrote Accountant’s Guide as a romance (and it does contain explicit spicy scenes), my goal was always to write Astarion and Scarlett as partners first and lovers second. I am really not a fan of romance stories that rely on physical attraction alone. Basically, if the story wouldn’t work with both of them being ugly, it’s not for me.

Astarion and Scarlett come together as reluctant allies at first. Scarlett offers him a deal to take out Cazador together and Astarion agrees mostly as a way of keeping himself entertained. He does not believe for a moment that she might actually succeed and he is actively planning to throw her to Cazador’s feet at the earliest convenience. But simply by working together, they start to grow closer over time.

Scarlett is the first person in centuries to treat him like a normal guy™. She is a very practical person - she has to be in order to willingly cooperate with the man who’s led her sister to her death. And while she isn’t immune to his flirting, she ignores it because she is painfully aware that he’s way out of her league and nothing good can ever come from that. It is only when she starts to see his vulnerable sides that she develops feelings for him and he, in turn, for her. At this point, however, they’ve both already saved each other’s lives several times. She has fed him when he was starving and he has slaughtered a bunch of guards that interrupted his poorly planned heist/date idea. They know each other, trust each other, rely on each other – they are a team in every sense of the word. When they do eventually share their first kiss in chapter 13, it is a powerful scene (if I do say so myself), but it is also really just one more layer to the bond that they have cultivated over the course of many months. Showing their clasped hands and nothing else is such a fantastic way to visualize the depth of their connection. It is a gesture of companionship and trust as well as intimacy and romance.

Then there is the positioning of their hands: Astarion’s on top of Scarlett’s, his fingers pinning her down, while her fingers are splayed out helplessly - dare I say, ecstatically. It is a stunning representation of their romantic dynamic. Astarion is the experienced, confident sex god who usually takes the lead, while Scarlett hasn’t done a whole lot of things before meeting him and is generally happy to go along with whatever he has in mind. He is her first. He is the one who shows her everything her body can do and he is careful in taking things step by step, working her up from missionary to slightly kinkier stuff all the way to her sitting on his face in “Pocket Money”. His hand on top of hers, holding her and guiding her, is a beautiful depiction of that.

At the same time, I like how the tenseness of his fingers in contrast to her more relaxed posture indicates how much he clings to her. After two centuries of being Cazador’s slave, Scarlett is literally the first time Astarion has anything that is his own. She is his first genuine connection, a lover he’s picked for himself, as well as his savior in helping to break him free from Cazador. He is terrified of losing her, so much so that he even tries to convince her to let him turn her into a vampire, so she won’t die before him. None of that is a perfectly healthy relationship dynamic, mind you, but who could expect that from him after what he’s been through? She is his lifeline. His anchor. The one glimmer of hope in two centuries and this man is ready to eviscerate any vampire lord, spawn, or magic teacher (sorry, Gale!) who so much as threatens to come in between them.

I also want to shout out how the softness and subtlety of their clasped hands reflects how their relationship has to unfold in secret. The second half of Accountant’s Guide lives off the tension of them plotting their plan B while living under the same roof as Cazador, both of them bound to him in different ways. They are in his house, their every move under constant scrutiny by Cazador as well as his spawn, and one wrong step could be the end for both of them. Those are absolutely cruel circumstances to be building a relationship in. Astarion has to make up lies to Cazador as to how he has gained access to a more regular blood supply. He has to pretend to be disgusted with her, so Cazador will continue to send him to comfort her, not one of the other spawn. Scarlett has to hide her bite marks and (awkwardly) flirt her way out of Cazador’s attempts at getting closer to her. There’s a sense of powerlessness to their situation that makes the intimate scenes they get even more special to both of them. I am generally a fan of subtlety, a big proponent of “less is more”, and I couldn’t be happier with how this is conveyed in the simplicity of their clasped hands on the desk.

Finally, the ink and fountain pen. Fountain pens have accidentally become one of my defining characteristics as a writer and I am not at all mad about it. I love heroines who succeed through cleverness and tenacity rather than Strong Female Character syndrome™. When I designed Scarlett, I really wanted someone who would throw Astarion for a loop. Someone he’d have no clue what to do with, someone so different from him and his reality, her every word would cause a flood of error messages in his precious brain. I wanted someone down to earth, someone who would play off him and make all his silly lines sound even sillier - and I wanted someone who’d be able to free him from Cazador through nonconventional and meme-worthy means.

And so I made her an accountant.

I have spoken about this before, but I hail from a family full of accountants. My research for this fic was every single family dinner I have ever attended. I love the ridiculousness of defeating a vampire lord through tax fraud because it plays on the inherent arrogance of Cazador. He is immensely powerful, physically as well as in his social influence, but he, too, can be brought down by a very diligent, very detail-oriented accountant who can demonstrate just how much money he owes the government, thus motivating them to step the fuck up and put him behind bars. It’s the epitome of the (fountain) pen being mightier than the sword. Scarlett is a character who has been underestimated her entire life and she doesn’t really mind it because when the time is right, she knows she can brandish her fountain pen and show everyone what’s what. She has a very quiet, unassuming type of power about herself that I have seen in the many badass accountants in my family and I love how this is reflected in the fountain pen, the ink pot, and of course the infamous ink stains on her fingers. Scarlett does not care about the ink on her fingers – she cares about getting shit done. And I love her for it. And Astarion loves her for it. But he will use every chance he gets to tear her off her work and bend her over the desk because he is also absolutely crazy about her.

This piece is sexy without being graphic. It is beautifully intimate and soft, yet still holds that tension between the two of them with Astarion holding on to her as hard as he possibly can and Scarlett practically melting at his every touch. It shows how a very unassuming, very mundane pencil pusher went and took down the immortal vampire lord with nothing but her mind and her fountain pen (and, well, math magic). The simplicity of it all is what really kicks me in the gut, I think. Because their love is simple at its core. It’s inevitable from the moment they first strike their deal in chapter 4. They don’t have a lot of grand gestures or epic fight scenes (the only fight scene is largely taken care of by The Gang as Astarion is stuck to the floor and Scarlett goes one-on-one versus Laiara). Even their love confessions are quiet and unassuming. They just grow together in a way that has always felt very natural to me and then they hold on and weather it all together until they emerge on the other side, together.

This piece hits right into the core of my story and I couldn’t be happier to see something so beautiful emerge from what I have created. Thank you. I will treasure this forever.

- Cin

[sky-kiss]

Okay, your OC is a love interest, what does their first romance cutscene look like?

A/N: Sassy, this is such an amazing question. I hope it’s alright that I did it for my three main idiots (I have another, but he’s just an old man for Jaheira lol). 

Scrungus: (Cowboy lizard)

Being an Oath of Redemption paladin, Scrungus isn’t overly romantic. He’s very kind, but he’s more focused on the wellbeing of the group. The incident with the goblins leaves him a little down, so he’s melancholy post party. The PC has to seek him out. He gives you a little smile, tips his head. If you offer him wine, he politely declines. 

“Had to be done. Couldn’t have ‘em running along the coast, know that. Still…ain’t sitting right. Coulda done more. Shoulda, I reckon.” 

If you mention you would have liked to dance at the party: “Would have been good to see…ain’t much point killin’ if you’re not enjoy living.” 

If you ask him if he knows how to dance, or would have danced with you, he gives you a little grin. Yeah, he picked it up somewhere along the line. In a little village, years back, after a fight just like this. Used to be pretty good. But don’t hold him to it. He’d hate to step on your toes. 

If you point out that the goblins and the Absolute left you no choice: 

He agrees, but finds it unfortunate. Worse folks have turned their back on evil. 

If you go to hold his hand, he chuckles and moves it away. 

No offense meant, but he’s got one responsibility. Gotta see you through the city. No use muddling things. 

You spend the night talking about your past, his, maybe he tells you a story about some absurd devil or demon he talked round to redemption. It’s ridiculous. He lets the PC lean against his shoulder and doesn’t move them when they doze off against his chest. 

Evoi: (Evil, evil, evil AU!Joi; it’s early, and she’s…untempered) 

Goblin-party only. She’s turned on by the stink of carnage and the way you looked while slaughtering the Grove. She makes this very evident, very early into the party, sidling up to the PC, nosing their throat. 

Blood-slick, hunter-kin—soak in carnage, baptize her in your sweet cries. 

She’s going to fuck you. Consent is optional, sorry. Will lick every drop of blood off your character. It’s a lot of kissing and biting. Going to absolutely devour/go down on the PC. You’re her pet now (and she’s obsessive, crazy, generally the worst). 

Joi: (Amnesia Girl)

Joi still has no idea what’s going on or who she is at this point. The scene will have more variance compared to the above, based largely on player input. Most of  her reactions are going to be emulating the PC’s drive. I.e if you’re interested in talking, she’ll be softer and happily talk, but consistently direct the conversation away from her. If the PC is more forward and wants sex, she’ll fall back into that role. 

Is likely very similar to Astarion in that she’s unsure she wants to have sex at that point, but it feels natural, normal, and a way to like…establish rapport. And since she has nothing personal to offer, why not sex? It’s the best she can do. 

If the PC opts to take things more slowly, she’s comforted. Wants to hold the PC’s hand or sit in their lap/beside them. She’s naturally very physical, and the slow!route still reflects that. If the PC asks whether she enjoyed the party, Joi is puzzled and admits that she doesn’t know. Saving the tieflings felt strange, almost wrong, but she likes it. 

Platonic/Slowburn route: Joi asks your PC to tell her about their life, stroking their hair. She thanks the PC for sharing and kisses them. 

Sex route: Joi is enthusiastic, but distant. Leads the encounter, focused on pleasuring PC. The morning after, she is more conflicted and admits she did not sleep well.

[psalacanthea]

Vampires, Romance, and Other Dead Things- Ch. 7

a new chapter in the Modern AU astarion x drow bard tav story found HERE! Having set up a counter-ambush to an anticipated attack from the other vampire spawn, now all Zyn has to do is drag his ass onstage. He promised Shadowheart one live show, and afterward they'll draw out the servants of Astarion's mysterious vamp daddy.

But Zyn's used to working alone, and it's starting to cause problems.

...

Certain the Harpers were shadowing her, she’d found a back street that didn’t look like it would damage too much if there was to be a scuffle here.  Between a half-dozen old buildings converted into multi-housing units there was an empty lot.  There was a No Excavation notice on one of the walls, which explained why it was here.  Seemed like this place was over one of the many dangerous structures under Baldur’s Gate.

Maybe caves.  Or a drop into the Undercity, like the place by hers she’d dumped Aradin’s corpse down.  A scan showed no convenient dumping spots, however.  A broken stone bench, a lot of weeds, and a few bags of garbage.

“Hey Vamp Juniors,” she called, stepping dead-center between the buildings, gazing up at the sky.  How funny would it be if they were up there, being trailed by invisible Harpers?  Stupid vampires.  “I’m here for my money!  My friends are bringing your guy!”

She stood with her hands in the pockets of her jacket, feeling arrogant enough to do it.  They’d cobbled together a pretty good trap.  No way they’d figure it out.

“Didn’t you refuse the offer?  We were told to get rid of you,” an unfamiliar voice said from the shadows, snide and superior.

He walked out of the shadows with another vampire beside him, scarlet eyes glowing, casual upscale bar look slightly impeded by the…well, by the face.  And the hair.  They hair was the worst, really, with the poofing, and the– well, it looked like a guy with straight hair had tried to make his look kind of like Astarion’s.

His face also gave that impression, weirdly enough.

Budget Astarion.

Creepy, but also triggering to…certain instincts enhanced by her having reached out and touched misfortune.  “I don’t make it a habit to speak with men, they’re too lacking in reason and emotional control.”  She turned her attention to the vampire next to him, tiefling woman with scarlet skin.  Glowing eyes.  Hopefully it meant the vamp daddy could…see out of their eyes or something.

She wanted him to watch.

Angry.

“Do you want him or not?” she asked, noting movement out of the corner of her eye.  A trash can lid, jostled, fell to the ground with a thud.  Bad luck for them.  There were more than two of them, for sure.  “And if you try to sneak behind me , I’ll teleport to the roof and fireball this space, so you can either get out here or you can get crispy.”

“Clumsy,” the elven vamp said, voice high and mocking.  Almost childish.  Okay, maybe she wasn’t the one to speak to.  “Sister Dalyria, isn’t that embarrassing for you?”

“Violet, stop,” Great Value Astarion said.

“I was sympathizing.  Everyone’s always picking on me,” Violet pouted, crossing her arms under her breasts.

Zyn couldn’t tense up as two more vamps stalked out of the shadows– a wistful-looking elven woman and the long-haired shirtless guy from before.  Four was still doable.  They were fine.  “Okay, so I can see the tropes we’re going with her.  Insane child vampire was always a favorite of mine.  Bet you’ve got all sorts of creepy dolls!”

Violet glared at her.

“But I can’t quite place you.  Comic relief?”  she suggested to badly-cloned Astarion.

“Can we kill the prattling bitch, already?” he asked, scoffing and taking a step back.

All of their attention shifted, fast as a hastened monk, as the sound of voices started echoing from where Zyn had come from.  All five of them stood poised in silence as the voices and footsteps came closer, people finally emerging from the alley.  Astarion was being carried over Karlach’s shoulder.

Through the high of bullying, Zyn felt a tingle of amusement.  Of course he’d made Karlach carry him.  What a bitch.

“Got him secured?”  Zyn called.

“Put me down, you brute~” Astarion called with posture still completely relaxed, voice lilting a little too theatrically.  She wouldn’t be surprised if his cheek was propped up in his hand.  

How was he a bad liar, on top of everything?

The man was in politics!