#she is so gay for gwen and she doesn't even know it

[adhd-merlin]

My rare pair propaganda is that the majority of Morgana's evil plots are born purely out of jealousy over Gwen. Literally why does she care if Gwen marries Arthur? oh she can't let Gwen "take her rightful place upon the throne"? Arthur is the monarch, not Gwen. Their relationship is completely inconsequential to Morgana's claim to the throne. But she's obsessed with trying to break them up. They're ex-girlfriends, your honour.

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING !!!

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

1: Magic is a Metaphor < 2: Morgana is a Lesbian < 3: Merlin is Gay > 4: Arthur is Bi

Again with the whole metaphor thing, Merlin's entire character is about having to hide his identity and wishing that he could be free to be himself so that he wouldn't have to lie about how much Arthur means to him. So that's all very gay, but he's also just very queer-coded generally. There are so many jokes about him being more effeminate or wearing women's clothing, most notably in this episode where he dresses in full drag and then takes the opportunity to shamelessly flirt with Arthur. Unhinged.

Basically every other character seems to just assume that he's gay, at least towards the end, because Gaius and Arthur are in utter disbelief that Merlin would be 'seeing a girl'. And of course he isn't, he's actually sneaking around with that druid guy, leading Arthur to question how courting a girl would leave him 'walking with a limp.'

I also think it's very interesting how often Merlin has to pretend to be attracted to women to avoid people discovering his secret, like with Gwen in Series 1 or Morgana in Series 2. Or this scene, where Gwen and Merlin are the only people not affected by the Lamia's seduction charm and they're trying to figure out why. And Merlin says, 'it doesn't affect you because you're a woman'. And firstly, Gwen is like, 'so what?' So, bisexual queen. And then Merlin says, "it only affects men," and Gwen says, "so then why haven't you fallen under her spell?" And Merlin is just like, 'oh shit, I don't know. I can't think of any reason why I wouldn't be seduced by a woman.'

Now, you might be saying, "but Merlin is attracted to women! what about that one female love interest he had for literally one episode who immediately died?" Oh, you mean:

I'm sorry to all of the Freylin shippers out there, but this was so clearly just the writers' last-ditch attempt to make Merlin straight. If you think about it, Freya also 'has magic' if you catch my drift, and that is the only thing that she and Merlin have in common, and the only thing that they talk about. And if you look at their dialogue out of context, it really doesn't seem like it's magic that they're talking about. It's just gay/lesbian solidarity. Also, never forget when Colin Morgan accidentally referred to Merlin's potential love interests as "him or her." So who else could he have been thinking of?

Merlin definitely had a crush on Lancelot. From the moment that they first meet, he just keeps going on about, 'omg, isn't Lancelot so strong and brave and chivalrous? God, I hope he becomes a knight, he would look so good in a suit of armour.' And then he says to Gwen, completely unprompted, "so just for the sake of argument– Arthur or Lancelot?" Why are you thinking about that Merlin? Then that scene ends with Merlin and Lancelot getting drunk and stumbling home together and waking up the next morning having shared Merlin's single bed. So take from that what you will. I don't necessarily think that anything happened between them, not because I think Lancelot is straight, don't get it twisted, just because I think he's a fucking virgin.

But certified pansexual manwhore Gwaine on the other hand, oh they definitely fucked. And it's a very similar situation to Lancelot, Merlin's only flirting technique is just to find some buff guy who's just saved his life and be like, 'oh my god what can I possibly do to repay you? Maybe you could come back to my place and I could tend to your wounds and then we could go down to the tavern, have a few drinks'.

And it works. Merlin literally used his job as apprentice physician to the Knights of the Round Table as his own personal Grindr, and i love that for him. But, of course, these are just side hoes to Merlin's main bitch, Arthur.

You can deny everything else that I've said, but you cannot deny that Merlin was in love with Arthur. And don't even try to say, 'but it's just because it was his destiny'. Because, yeah, like that's any less gay. They're two sides of the same coin, destined to be together, Merlin 'uses magic only for Arthur'. Come on.

Also, it's pretty clear that Merlin cares about Arthur more than he cares about his destiny, throughout the entire show. But it culminates in this scene in series five where, because of very contrived plot reasons, Arthur has to choose between legalizing magic and saving the life of Mordred. And Merlin convinces Arthur not to legalise magic so that he will let Mordred die. He literally enables the genocide of his own people and condemns himself to a lifetime of suffering just on the off chance that he can spend a bit more time with Arthur.

And if that isn't heartbreaking enough, of course, every action that Merlin makes only confirms Arthur's fate. And after he very platonically dies in Merlin's arms, as dudebros do, what does Merlin do? does he go back to Camelot and live a full happy heterosexual life? Of course not. No, he spends the next one and a half thousand years just waiting at Arthur's resting place, waiting for the day that Arthur will be resurrected and they can be together again. What the fuck kind of Greek tragedy, Achilles and Patroclus level shit is that? That is fucking gay.

[metalphoenix]

Hobie Brown had a plan from the beginning

So a little while ago I saw a post that said that Hobie's biggest weakness was that he quit the Spider Society when he did (I can't find that post so I won't link it). I don't really agree with this.

The thing about Hobie Brown is that he knows the value of community. Obviously, we don't get much back round about his personal life in the movie so I'm going to go off of the Spider Punk mini series.

I'm this run Hobie is homeless. He lives out of a van and a community center in Brooklyn (he's originally a New Yorker) but he's not alone. He lives and/or works with a bunch of friends: Captain Anarchy (Karl Morningdew, E-138's Captain America and a gay native american man), Riothart (Riri Williams, E-138's Ironheart), Mz Marvel (Kamala Khan), Hulk (Robbie Banner), Daredevil (Mattea Murdock, in E-138 she is a blind punk drummer in Philadelphia) and other unnamed characters. So even though they switched up his backstory in the film I still belive that he's not alone in his home universe. Punk culture, anarchy and communism are all about building community and helping others.

Honestly I think thats why he's part of the Spider Society in the first place because he obviously does not agree with anything their doing. He's there because he knows they will recruit vulnerable teenagers who don't have the support that he does. Thats why he takes Gwen and Pavitr under his wings I think (to make it clear Hobie is also a teenager that needs support he's just uniquely positioned to give it in this situation because of his background but he is still very much a teenager.) He also knows that sometimes the best way to take down the system is from inside of it. He's gonna play along till he can take them down.

I think it makes perfect sense that he "quit" when he did. At this point Miles knows Spider Society is really fucked up, he knows his dad is gonna die in two days and he's made it clear that he will not go quietly. Hobie knows all of this and trust Miles to have everything handled. I think that he also knows that when Miles escapes Gwen is going to be disillusioned by the Spider Society and get sent back to E-65.

So he trusts both Miles and Gwen to be able to handle themselves for the moment, but because he knows the value of community when organizing he also knows that they can't do it alone. So he quits (like he always knew he was going to). He knows that the best use of his time and skills right now is to make sure they have everything they need to oppose Spot and Miguel when the time comes. We all know he made at least two watches (he had to have made one for himself as well) but I think that he was also recruiting the rest of the band at the same time.

The only other main spider besides Gwen that we see in the chase scene is Peter. We see Penni that one time during the confrontation scene but not again. I think that he was finding Pavitr, Peni, Noir, and Ham. I think he knew that Gwen would probably go to Peter first. He probably knew when she activated the watch he gave her and brought everyone else to regroup.

But Margo was also in that final shot and Hobie would not have had enough time to recruit her between Gwen being sent back and the final shot. I think they have been working together behind the scenes this whole time. When Miles sends himself back, sure at first she didn't know what was happening, but when she saw Miles in the go home machine she kind of froze. She is looking right at the controls for the machine and there is an option to shut down. She doesn't press it. She could, but she didn't. She even tells Lyla to get out of her way, probably because she doesn't want her to interfere too much. She may have known she was gonna help him escape before that scene even happened. Once that was done she could get out and regroup with Hobie and the rest.

So ya I don't think he's a coward for quitting when he did I think he was really smart. We know he plans and excutes political actions in his home universe. Actions that could defiantly end up with him or others in jail. When planning things like that you need to be smart about it, often times for particularly dangerous things no one has all the information till the very end, of course he'd keep it a secrete. Even from Gwen because she's still not ready. He's not a coward he just knew how to best utilize his and everyone else's skills. He knows when he needs to be in the background as opposed to the front line.

[bisclavret]

what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.

i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".

i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:

it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).

the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.

then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.

but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.

what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.

what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.

tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show

tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi

[fyeahaudiodrama]

Happy @podcastgirlsweek to all who celebrate! While I haven't had the time to properly work on fics (and probably won't this week because oops, hurt my hands yesterday) I still wanted to take the time to highlight some favorite podcast girlies along with everyone else!

The prompt for Monday is highlighting podcasts with women in the leading roles, so here's a few of mine (and hopefully, some new ones of yours if you don't know them yet):

Back Again, Back Again: Ilyaas, you absolutely fantastic disaster of a fantasy ace, never stop trying.

Breathing Space: While the show is anthology with a rotating cast, some of my favorites from across its run include:

Evie Yuriskin

Amity Archer

Any characters who were introduced one episode and then started referring to each other as "my wife" by the end or by their next appearance

Camlann: Some apocalypse survivors interpret dangerous dreams about dark magic to cope. Some knit sweaters. Both are valid and should kiss.

City of Ghosts: Featuring the grungy, disgruntled, tormented-by-visions LADY detective of your dreams.

Desperado: Take note - give your ladies knives. And god powers. And witchcraft. And a sniper rifle, for good measure.

Do You Copy?: I think [REDACTED] deserves three weeks of paid vacation

Fawx & Stallion: Madge Stallion is THE moment. She's six feet tall. She can't stop making innuendos. She's not your fucking Mrs. Hudson (although, she is - no, I shan't say).

Hi Nay: Mari & Laura are my everything - the loving and self-sacrificing hero and the newfound friend who chooses to stand by her side (fire axe and all).

Inn Between: Oh, my Inn Between girlies, where do I start? Fina and Betty, the OGs and life partners that even death couldn't stall? Rosie and Zara, the new best pals who chose to stay together? Phoebe, just one step at a time learning what she deserves and what she doesn't? All impeccable, A+.

It Makes A Sound: Any show focused on music is going to be a slam dunk for me, but Deirdre's quest to reclaim her memories as well as those that tied her to her mother is so damn real and compelling.

The Kingmaker Histories: No female character in this show has ever done anything wrong. Colette gets a migraine pass. Ariadne can turn people inside out. Daphne is owed this for working in a theme park.

Life With LEO(h): Janiiiiiine, so messy and smart and dedicated and she cares so much, I love yoooooou.

Me and AU: Kate's worries and desires and doubts are some of the realest out of any audio drama so when do I find an Ella too

Palimpsest: My faaaaavorite gothic horror anthology, each one fresh with a different brand of haunted, tormented, secret-keeping (and quite frequently gay) gothic protagonist

The Pasithea Powder: Jane and Sophie. Sophie and Jane. What more could you need? <3

The Silt Verses: Women who start cults/leave cults/seek an end to the endless cycle of meaningless sacrifice as so valid. For all your wet cat(fish) woman needs.

Second Star to the Left: Because I always love a good Ishani performance. Hi Gwen, please tell Boots I love them.

Small Victories: You want sad wet cat women? How about one that literally can't stop self-sabotaging (but at least manages to draw the line at sabotaging others...occasionally). She even gets stabbed!

Starfall: I mean, kind of a given, but anyway, Leona definitely exists because she's the kind of action protagonist woman I always wanted - one that could be unapologetically powerful, but still full of flaws and desires (especially ones that weren't about falling in love and minimizing her own strengths). She's even autistic!

Stories From Ylelmore: Keryth! Keryth, Keryth, Keryth! She reminds me so much of the kinds of characters I would make up when I was younger - I love her and her small magic so dearly.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Hi queer space pirates <3

Unseen: Another anthology show, but Harry Winters and Never-Ending Circles remains one of the most perfect premiere episodes I've ever heard in audio drama.

The Way We Haunt Now: Get your podcast ladies here, dead or alive!

We Fix Space Junk: My favorite type of repairman is a woman who could kick my ass.

Wolf 359: I don't think I need say much more here - y'all know and love 'em just as much as I do.

[iris-black13]

In honour of Merlin trending for literally no reason today, I would like to share my theories that I came up with during my recent rewatch. (I'm only up to season 3 right now so there really aren't that many theories yet.)

1. Merlin and Arthur 100% fell in love with each other in season 1, but they aren't aware of it at all.

2. Merlin is so gay. I'm not sure if he knows it or not, but Merlin is not attracted to women. Every time he's seemed interested in a woman, it's because she's been a powerful sorceress or a magical creature. Speaking of Freya; his only real female love interest, what he loves about her is that he sees himself in her. He feels a sense of kinship towards her as someone who is trapped and hunted for something out of her control. I don't think he feels any actual romantic love for her. He loves her, sure. But I think he's confusing romantic love for something else. (But idk I could be wrong.)

3. I don't think the Morgana we got back after her disappearance is the same Morgana we had pre S2E12. I think she probably died and came back wrong. In fact, I think she's a shade. Because otherwise the personality difference is too drastic. Her relationship with Gwen for instance. It makes sense if she didn't forgive Merlin for what he did, but why is she so mean to Gwen?? Gwen was her best friend and maybe even her first love? Morgana was never classist before season 3, but afterwards she acts like Gwen is lesser than and it just doesn't make sense. Anyway that's my in-universe explanation for her terrible shift in character.

4. This is the most important one. Merlin doesn't realize he's in love with Arthur until some time shortly before the season 2 finale. Before the finale, Merlin is happy to cheer on the romance between Arthur and Gwen. Two of his best friends fell in love! Why wouldn't he be happy? Even if they think there's no future for their relationship, he's more than happy to help them get together because Merlin believes in loving who you want to love.

Now, I could go on about how falling in love with Gwen is basically Arthur's way of expressing his repressed feelings for Merlin since Gwen and Merlin are of the same social standing and since Gwen is a woman he can experience the love he could have had with Merlin if it was allowed, but I won't do that. This ain't about him. What's important is that Merlin, in the season 2 finale- knows he's in love with Arthur, and that Arthur can't love him back. After the finale, he's still happy to help his friends in their affections for each other, but his bright goofy smile is gone. It's replaced with this melancholy smile and a hesitant voice.

I'm so serious right now. If you don't believe me, just go rewatch seasons 2 and 3 and see the shift in his demeanor yourself. He actively avoids them when they're interacting in season 3. In- I think it was the changeling episode, at the end, Arthur and Merlin walk into a hallway at the bottom of the staircase. They both see Gwen on the staircase, and when Arthur starts up the stairs, Merlin immediately leaves. It's not a "I'll give them their space" moment. It's a "I can't be here right now" kind of moment. He doesn't even try to stick around to protect Arthur on their date in the episode where Morgana frames Gwen for witchcraft. (and don't even get me started on that episode of my god.) Normally, he would stick around in the shadows to make sure nothing goes wrong and they aren't attacked or anything. It's weird that he doesn't try to stick around!

And oh my God. There are so many moments where Colin Morgan's acting just makes my heart ache. In the crystal caves, Merlin trying to banter with an unconscious Arthur while trying desperately to heal him makes me want to cry. And any time he's encouraging Gwen to follow her heart and be with Arthur just makes me ache. In the "...you still have feelings for him." And the "you like him. He likes you. Isn't that all that really matters?" I just can't.

Honestly, I could go on, but this post is already wordy enough. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[urfavnegronerd]

a little rant while im on break at my job

okay i know we're supposed to like ghostflower ships but i... i have some thoughts.

i see the love and lust between those two in into the spiderverse, miles is so giggly around gwen and gwen is slightly less unhinged (you ALL know what im getting at, love her but our good sis gwen is.... *hand motion*) etc. allat good stuff.

but i can't see that happening especially w the events of atsv, like there's definitely room for patching up the relationship but anything romantic between the two would feel forced as fuck i feel like. and maybe that's just me being an intensely passionate empath who likes to act like a nonchalant lil asshole, but still. i LOVE gwen, sony set her up beautifully for an amazing character arc that i'm so excited to see in the next one. HOWEVER, also this could just be me being an annoying little afro latina shit, she's not coming back from opening the collectible, going through miles' sketchbook w/o permission, and the shoes on the bed. that doesn't mean i HATE her i just can't look at her the same.

now a bitch is biased because black love is forever 🔛🔝, but also in the comics and video game miles has a black love interest. there was definitely also THE connection w/ miles and margo (however i'm also kinda in favor of prowlerbyte anyway--), and lil old me in the theatre was loosing it. i think that staying true to the aspect of black love interests is also going to be so important for the community, both comic/video game fans and black fans alike, mainly because of how black men interact with black women. speaking from experience i can't even count how many times i wanted to be the short lil white girl with blue eyes and blonde hair instead of the tall and awkward black girl with the wide nose and corkscrew curls. now here's where i think my personal bias kind of skews my opinion on this, but this franchise has been so important to SO many people. again speaking from experience, when i saw miles in atsv with the EXACT same hair texture as me i almost cried because no one in the history of ever has animated my kind of hair right and miles' hair was right. on top of this i saw so many little black boys practically tripping and falling in anticipation to see this movie in theatres. so i think i favor miles having a relationship with a black girl because this will reach such a new audience and possibly open doors for black men and boys to start treating black somebody and girls with respect. because if these little boys in the theatre see their like, idol for lack of a better word, treating black women and girls with respect i think then there's gonna be an aspect of healing within that.

i'm not really sure how well i'm communicating this, but i don't really think i can fully get behind the ghostflower ship. to me it feels really fucking forced in a way that kinda icks me out, however this is not to say i won't absolutely love the shit out of these two if it happens. in a way, this franchise feels like something the black community needs in several ways. like yeah this shit is pro black but FULLY pro black, not pro-black but anti gay, trans, or whatever the fuck. it shows blackness in a new way, artsy and nerdy but also really fucking cool at the same time and i never fucking got that as a little kid. like i kid you not the other black kids in school would call me a wanna be white girl. and to see someone with similar interests as me just sort of opens the world up??? like i visited my older sister at school in the dmv while wearing a spiderverse hoodie, and people actually wanted to talk to me about it!!! like not ina "oh i like ur sweatshirt ma" type thing like a "omg you like this movie too??" type thing and i just--

yeah i def strayed from the topic, but i hope our baby does get his lil black girl (or his lil gwen, from a big sisters perspective i don't hate her as a prospective partner i just think that there would need to be a clear breakdown in the difference of cultures. for example i was taught that anytime you meet anyone formally (like a parent or something) you shake their hand and or go in for a hug and kiss BOTH cheeks and talk about their home their clothes or whatever) but for like the sake of authenticity (sorry to be that asshole but come ON) but like.... flowerbyte 🥰🥰

did this make sense i feel like i word vomited like a bitch, idk maybe i'm projecting my personal shit into a franchise i really like

[camptv-era]

Ace-Aro DJ

I was starting to skim Island for headcanon proof and I didn't even have to go far for it!

"Not So Happy Campers Part 1" has this:

Duncan's remark of "She's all yours, man." Makes DJ give this face.

Yeah, the point of this scene could be 'blah, blah. Eva is undesirable' but we were just shown that Cody was trying to flirt with her too, and Duncan himself was turned off by her attitude/strength.

Then, Justin is announced! Everyone's surprised or delighted to see him. Everyone except...

Even Duncan whom I headcanon as closeted bi is surprised.

DJ is the only one who makes two faces in this scene-- confused and then frowning. (Coincidentially, I'm also an aromantic Justin truther, but he's not who this post is about.)

Now this scene!

In "X-treme Torture", the way Bridgette disproves DJ is the one who wrote that mystery haiku is... him deflecting.

...now that I'm typing this out, it feels like I can't word this well, but I hope you guys feel the same aro vibes I do in that particular interaction.

(We also need more smug DJ and DJ with bite moments tbh!)

No pictures for these next two examples of proof, since they're dialogue-based.

In "Up The Creek" DJ offers romantic advice to Geoff by comparing it to something he knows, that is, luring in a rabbit to feed.

In World Tour's Japan episode, he compares Alejandro's smooth moves being irresistible to his mom's gravy.

I think DJ is romance+sex repulsed, but he clearly has a thorough understanding of it. He was raised by two people in love!

He's emotionally mature and well rounded in physical activities too. His moms raised him well! He just feels uncomfortable when people make romantic remarks/advances toward him.

He has no qualms in affectionate touches or contact. (See also: my DJ+Lindsay Friendship post!)

Except, when there's a romantic or sexual layer added to it:

In this case (Action's "Aftermath II"), Geoff suggested off-screen that Gwen was being cozy with DJ when he just saved her life! He's clearly bothered by it, even though he was just talking pleasantly with Gwen.

In "Newf Kids on the Block" there's also that hot dog scene. (I've hit the picture limit TwT,) When Owen hits on DJ for Noah to try and get him into a alliance with Team Chris, DJ makes this face again.

Yeah, yeah there's the gay joke here, but given DJ's character we know thus far: chill, kind and soft-hearted. He wouldn't be homophobic.

(Again, even if it was accidental or fanon, he has two moms. Plus, he's been shown to accept things more easily than others, like being on good terms with Gwen in Action after the Trent ordeal. I highly doubt someone's sexuality would deter DJ from being nice, if morality or social pressure doesn't.)

Anyway, though. It serves to add to my point. He's made that face (or one similar to it) when it comes to romantically suggestive situations!

He's also one of the only campers (if not the only one, I'm not really thinking hard about the other 99 contestants.) whose storylines have never revolved or included attraction in any way.

In conclusion: aro/ace DJ. 💙

[theroundbartable]

Okay, if you were asked who are in Merlin BBC & Voltron that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they? Why?

What a fun ask I'm totally not doing to procastinate on cooking... XD

BBC Merlin

Arthur Pendragon is, in my head, demiromantic and bisexual... It sort of depends on the circumstances/episode. Arthur needs a very long time to really feel connections with people and only starts to consider love after he really gets to know them, hence his constant search for true love in the show. With Merlin I'm not entirely sure if he was attracted to him instantly, strangely enough feeling a connection from the moment they met, or if it takes him till the end of the series when Merlin confesses his magic and finally shows his true self to realise the depth of his feelings.

Merlin is, well... Bi Bi Bi. A disaster bi in fact. With a preference for sweaty men in metal boxes, he's not very peculiar. However, Merlin is a one person hyperfixation kind of guy. Most people are convinced that Merlin's gay.

Gwen: I feel like most people in BBC Merlin are bi and Gwen is no exception. Like Merlin, she prefers the hero type in metal uniforms. But she also had a thing for Morgana in the beginning.

Morgana: lesbian. I have never seen a woman so disinterested in men, I'm not surprised that they casted Katie McGrath in supergirl as supergirls love interest. I might settle for homoromantic and asexual. But definitly in love with Gwen in the very beginning.

Sir Leon, my beloved, the immortal, the one and only, the eternal suffering aro/ace. I don't have to explain this one. The only counter moment is the Lamia episode where Leon suddenly develops interest in women out of nowhere. My personal take is that anyone could be fallen under a Lamia's spell, this one just had a taste for men (and male presenting).

Sir Elian: once upon a time I clocked them as nonbinary and sadly that's as far as I thought into this character. Pretty sure he's aromantic. He/they pronouns. I dunno, I don't think Elian would conform to anything if given a choice. Aromantic too, I think. Like Leon, there is no interest there, but he does play around with Percival and Gwaine quite often, so I'd take that as allosexual.

I am excluding Gwaine because I think canon Gwaine is written as a straight oblivious fuckboy. Albeit a kind one XD fanon Gwaine is often poly/ pan... Or into apples. Lmao XD and I'm not sure about Percival because the man has a dead wife and kids.

Voltron

Keith: with his lack of interest in women, he can only be gay. That man looks at no one quite the same as he looks at Lance. what the hell was the whole bonding thing if not a hint for post canon klance? Sorry, not sorry XD rivals to best friends to lovers.

Lance: *bi bo bi* bisexual lighting Lance. Doesn't matter if you prefer klance or shallura, this man is a walking bi flag. I don't know what you mean by proof, just look at this wiggly boy with the fingerguns. He can't even sit straight! Can't do math either. He's perfect!

Shiro: probably the only character in my entire history of shipping that I would unqueer without feeling bad about it. I know he's gay, I just don't really see it in the writing. Of course there aren't always clear signs that someone is gay which is why this is good rep actually (+he's married), but you asked me for proof in the show and all I see is that this man is a dad. That's his gender and his orientation and that's all I really need to know.

Pidge: aro/ace because I love my aroaces and this child loves robots and robots only. Also nonbinary/genderqueer. Pronouns: fuck/off XD

I think Lotor should have been bi. Pre-canon Lotor had us Langsters ship Lotor x Lance and it was so much fun :D

Bob: gender: evil, orientation: villain. I hate this guy

Coran: the georgous man is either gay or pan. More likely pan because I vaguely remember he had a son?

I hope I answered your question reasonably enough XD thank you for the ask, anon :3

[total-drama-atlas]

Character Headcanons

this is just sexuality and gender hcs lol but here we go! I'm going to go in first elimination order in their debut season, except for the new cast (because i haven't finished the season yet, so I dont want to spoil it for myself) which will be in the order that i remember them, then the hosts.

Ezekiel: I think he's cishet. just the homeschool stereotype and all that. but maybe he discovers something about himself between meeting alejandro and going completely feral

Eva: she's a butch lesbian. i personally think she's cis, but i could see transfem eva

Noah: gay trans man. i mean have you guys even seen his character

justin: I think he's aroace. again, i personally think justin is cis, but i could see him being trans

katie: trans lesbian. i just know it okay

tyler: he's bi. he absolutely had a crush on alejandro. you can't change my mind. i also think he's cis but again, i could see him being transmasc

izzy: shes transfem. of course. and i think she's a lesbian, but i could see her being bi or pan. assuming she's lesbian, her relationship with owen could either be just strategy or comphet. you decide

cody: have you seen the way that boy dresses? trans man bisexual disaster.

beth: personally, i think she gives cishet vibes, but i could see her possibly being bi and/or transfem.

sadie: obviously lesbian. she and katie are in love. of course. and idk if she's cis or trans. i could see either. but I think she is also trans. t4t

courtney: as much as i love duncney... i think courtney is lesbian. i think she has extreme comphet and she doesn't realize her sexuality until wt, and then doesn't come to terms with it and accept herself until all stars. but i think she's cis

harold: transfem harold is canon. to me. idk their sexuality tho. i could see them as omni or pan tho.

trent: bisexual trent is so real guys. again, i personally think he's cis, but I could see transmasc trent

bridgette: i could see her as transfem, but I also could see her as cis. also she gives me pan vibes but I can also see her being straight. idrk

lindsay: shes pan. i just know it okay. i personally see her as cis, but again, i could see transfem lindsay. or transmasc lindsay.

DJ: cis, aroace. he's just a really sweet guy

geoff: cis, bisexual. i just know it okay

leshawna: cis, bisexual. i just. i just know it okay

duncan: cis bisexual. he'll call you a slur tho

heather: transfem lesbian. trust me guys. i could also see her being ace tho

gwen: transfem bi. i just know

owen: cis bi. he is canonically bi btw. he had a crush on justin. it was played as a joke but. that's just what happened

blaineley: i could see her as straight or queer honestly. i personally think she's cishet.

sierra: transfem. for sure. and i think she's a lesbian with comphet. just like heather and courtney.

alejandro: I think he's cis, but i could see him being trans. also he's bi. trust me. but i mean i could see him being gay. it's plausible.

staci: she doesn't have enough screen time for me to tell. she has like. ten minutes total. but shes trans

dakota: transfem pansexual. i just know it okay

B: i think they're nb, or at the least a trans man. i mean. his deadname is a traditionally feminine name.. it lines up. they're not cis i can tell you that much. anyway i think he's aroace

dawn: genderqueer panromantic ace. just trust me okay

sam: he gives me cishet vibes, but also i could easily see him being bi or pan.

Brick: i feel like he's cis but I also like the idea of him experimenting with gender nonconformity. and as much as i like jo x brick as a ship, i also think brick is probably gay. or bi with a heavy male preference

anne maria: transfem anne maria is canon. to me. anyway she's very much bi.

mike: i feel like he's cis but i could see him as trans, and i think he's pan. i'm also treating his alters like separate characters, though i know very little about multiple personality disorder, so idk if that's exactly how that works (feel free to correct me in replies)

vito: i hc him to be cis but idk. also he's pan. if vito finds you hot, it doesn't matter what you've got going on.

Svetlana: transfem lesbian. trust me okay

chester: cishet ally.

mal: look i like the queer hcs for mal. y'all are so real for that. but i think he's cishet and homophobic and transphobic

manitoba: trans manitoba is real. to me. also he's pan. trust me y'all

jo: trans butch lesbian

scott: cis gay man

zoey: she could be either cis or trans. i think she's transfem. and also she's pan. i don't think an explanation is necessary

cameron: she was very sheltered, so i doubt she would have been exposed to LGBTQ+ stuff so she wouldn't know it at first.. but I think cam would be transfem. bc i saw a post where someone said that it would be funny if cameron realized she was trans because lightning kept calling her a "girl" and that was her awakening lol. anyway she's ace

lightning: cis gay man

beardo: he gets like ten minutes of screen time and he doesn't really talk.. cis bi

leonard: cis gay. i just know it

amy: cishet +homo/transphobic (i'll explain in a minute)

rodney: he's cis, okay. and pan. i just know it

sammy: shes transfem lesbian. trust me. That's why Amy hates her sm. it lines up with real experiences that I know people have

ella: she's bi. i just know it. but i'm not sure what their gender situation is.. but she uses she/they pronouns

Topher: cis gay man. just look at him i mean

dave: cishet. undecided on his opinion of queer people. (he decides he's an ally when he finds out sky is queer but he then declares himself homophobic when she rejects him) he would call you a slur

scarlett: transfem lesbian.

max: transmasc gay.

jasmine: transfem bi

sugar: cis lesbian

shawn: transmasc pan. i just know it okay

sky: transfem bi/pan. i just know it okay. also that's why dave decided he's homophobic and transphobic now

Tammy: trans lesbian. trust me okay

Pete: cis gay. also he's married to gerry

Gerry: cis gay. also he's married to pete

Ellody: trans lesbian. also she's dating mary

Mary: cis lesbian. also she's dating ellody

laurie: cis bisexual. also she's dating miles

miles: trans lesbian. also she's dating laurie

tom: cis gay

jen: cis lesbian

kelly: cishet ally

taylor: cishet homophobe

jay: major cishet vibes. but idk he might learn some things. once he's actually esposed to the outside world

mickey: see jay.

lorenzo: cishet. i didn't really care for the stepbros team so i haven't really put much though into it

chet: cishet. see lorenzo

rock: nonbinary bisexual. also he's dating spud

spud: trans gay man. also he's dating rock

dwayne: cishet homophobe

junior: he's like. 11. i'm not saying you can't have figured our your sexuality and gender at that age. but junior definitely hasnt

ennui: trans bi man. canonically dating crimson (and i'm keeping taht)

crimson: trans bi woman. canonically dating ennui (and Im keeping it taht way)

stephanie: cis bi woman. i just know it.

ryan: cishet ally

devin: cis bi man

carrie: cishet ally (she's a HUGE ally okay)

kitty: cis lesbian

emma: cis lesbian

josee: transfem lesbian

jacques: trans gay man

macarthur: trans butch lesbian. also she's dating sanders

sanders: cis lesbian. also she's dating macarthur

brody: cis pansexual. just trust me okay

axel: trans butch lesbian. also she's in love with nichelle

nichelle: cis femme lesbian. also she's in love with axel

emma: cis lesbian with extreme comphet

chase: cis bi man with lots of internalized homophobia. anyway he's in love with ripper

ripper: cis bi man. also he's in love with chase. (i don't like ripper or chase. they're perfect for each other tho)

wayne: cishet ally (he's canonically an ally!!)

raj: cis gay. also bowraj for life

bowie: cis gay. also bowraj for life

i need to make another block of text bc i reached the character limit lmao

scary girl/lauren: transfem lesbian. i just know it

zee: nonbinary pansexual. trust me

julia: cis lesbian. but she'll call you a slur. she's dating MK

damien: i think he's a cishet ally. but i could see him as bi

caleb: cis aroace. no i will not elaborate

millie: transfem lesbian

priya: cis lesbian

MK: nonbinary lesbian. they're dating julia

The host with the most, chris mclean: trans gay man. he'll call you a slur tho. he's married to chef

Chef Hatchet: cis gay man. he's married to chris

Don: cis gay man. he hates chris's guts.

that's every character. anyway next week it's going to be a tierlist of all the characters <3

[ride-thedragon]

At this point I think as a fandom, we've lost some of the crackship charm we once had. I can look up Ashara Dayne and Ser Davos and find results, But Nettles and Helaena have nothing. It's time to rectify that for my favourite girl and try to inspire some fanfics. Feel free to add more.

1. Daeron and Nettles

Think Enemies to Lovers, Captive of War drama like Jaime and Brienne or just some good old Gwen and Arthur-inspired love. Ivy by Taylor Swift coded, a She's all that inspired affair. I genuinely think that he's just trying to be there for her with this one. It happens and neither of them realise until You're in Love starts playing.

2. Baela and Nettles.

They would give the pot calling the kettle black in every argument. The Princess Bride-esque dynamic between them. Very Graham and Megan from but I'm a Cheerleader. Sapphic Pinning and Resentment should be its own genre. Sir Chloe's Michelle is my vision. We can even make a throuple with them and Jace or Alyn. Truly, I think they but heads until they kiss, building on resentment. I also think they would be the coolest couple.

3. Addam and Nettles

Kaz and Inej core.

But in all seriousness, I think Addam being loyal and Duty bound and Nettles challenging that idea is delicious. Solider of Duty x Solider for the People. A modern-day Persuasion story but gender-flipped if we put our minds to it. See you Again Kali Uchis and Tyler the Creator, that's all.

4. Nettles and Helaena

They just deserve better. That's all. Give me cottagecore sapphic romance with my best girls involves. Like the young lesbians from Barbie and the Diamond Castle. Lesbians raising kids together. Sheepstealer and Dreamfyre hatching eggs for the nieces and nephews. I just-

It would be so cool, I will by Mitski sentiment is already attached.

5. Alyn and Nettles

Now that we are here obviously she apologized for Sheepstealer, she doesn't need to but she did, He tries not to like her but can't help it. She wins him over and they hatch him an egg or something idk. Think The Princess Diaries: Royal Engagement, Mia and Nicholas, Flipped the movie if you will. Jealously plots would slay. For the song choice think Shameless Camila Cabello. Please remember that Alyn is younger than Netty by 3/4 years though.

6. Rhaena and Nettles

See now this is classic Friends to Lovers, Emma and Harriet if gay, perhaps, Bend it Like Beckham core definitely. Sofia by Clario inspired. Nettles doesn't leave Rhaena out because she's without a dragon and the same happens inverse. Sapphic confusion however, like Rhaena doesn't understand at first why she feels that way.

7. Nettles and Jace.

Now for the Mr Knightley and Emma Woodhouse of our time, the Kate and Anthony of Westeros. The potential for her just not listening to him when he tries to tell her how to ride a dragon. Or when she talks to him about the people he'll rule over eventually, Ygritte and Jon style. She's also the only bastard who doesn't look Targaryen, he can relate to that a bit. I think she's Fierce and he's Stubborn. Ungodly Hour by Chloe x Halle for them.

8. Nettles and Alys.

The Fire Witches of Westeros. I think they will be perfect as a ship. American Horror Story-esque characters. The two Witches in the story are obviously my favourites. It would be Jennifer's Body meets, the craft meets, and Suspiria. Willow by Taylor Swift becomes them.

This one was also a bonus more or less.

Anyways I just need to start to get a baseline story for my girl by the time the show gives her to us. So we have a general sense of direction, I'm tired of the mischaracterization of my baby. She's smart, resourceful, Cunning, Fearless, and not entirely loyal. She also curses, enough for it to be a character trait. Please remember this for her, I'm tired. I also know that Daemon loved her but she's too much fun as a character to limit her to him romantically in all her fanfictions, it is an interesting narrative to explore while we don't have exact answers but he gets romantic ships with anyone. She deserves more.

[disastercit]

ok, sex episode commentary, lets go

(camp camp s5 episode 3 spoilers)

-the magazine????

-something does feel distinctly different about the writing and characterizations this season (especially with david), is it a new writing team or just a product of it having been 4 or 5 years since they wrote the last season?

-cj.

-FLOWER SCOUTS!!! but not really :( damn I was hoping to fill out my bingo slot but I don't think this counts

-even the cobwebs have hearts in them 😭

-the three genders: woodscouts, flower scouts, and the delightful jesters at camp campbell

-DAVID WHY ARE YOU USING THE BDSM SKYDIVING MAGAZINE FOR THE SEX ED

-hes suffering so much free him :(

-fucking gen alphas god damnit. this hit so close to home bc my younger cousin is in the 6th grade and this is exactly how she sounds to me 😭

-"they're" just like nerris? nerris nonbinary self discovery arc for realsies???

-nah they're just being gay

-maybe I'm wrong about ereds age? it almost seems like she doesnt even have periods yet, I mean it's possible she does and just has the bare minimum understanding of it but it doesn't really seem that way.

-and then she pretty much immediately gives a huge clue to her age lol. if she's a freshman in high school then she's 14 or 15, which is pretty much what I had guessed.

-david getting called a Beta Cuck in an actual camp camp episode is something I did not see coming

-junior counselor ered???

-gwen you are a modern 21st century woman why are you still reading porno mags 😭 I knew it didn't belong to a camper but I'm surprised I didn't guess it was gwen's just from how freaky the cover was

-also David flipped through that entire magazine and looked at every image in it to place those stickers. I know he has questions

-quartermaster please I'm so tired of adding trees to your bingo square I can't do it anymore

-the preview looks interesting but I really hope it's good, considering how it's probably the last episode of camp camp that will ever be made 😕

bingo squares I've managed to fill from this episode: Mom-Gwen, Qm is a FREAK (AGAIN)

[your-queer-dad]

Hey dad

This is a bit of a vent pertaining to a character/fandom (going anonymous because it was part of something I brought up in a previous account I had and got harassed into deleting my account).

There's a lot of discourse in the Torchwood fandom around Gwen Cooper as a character. I personally hate her for what she did. But then I saw Gwen lovers saying that hating her is misogynistic?

Reasons I hate her: she's a liar. She cheated on her boyfriend with a coworker who knew she was in a relationship (I hate him too). She drugged her boyfriend with Retcon (memory loss+sleeping pill), confessed to cheating, tried to get him to forgive her but he didn't before the drug knocked him out, and then went back to the Torchwood Hub and started crying like she was the victim. She almost cheated again at her wedding with the main character (Jack Harkness) - she was going to kiss him - before it turned out it was an alien in disguise. In another episode she told Jack she loves him (more than Rhys - her boyfriend). She constantly is rude to him, and to Andy, her former coworker and supposed friend. She treats Andy like crap. She temporarily loses her boyfriend in one episode but time gets reset and he's brought back. However Jack dies a bit more permanently (he's immortal, but he was dead a few days) and instead of going home to the boyfriend she claims to love, she sits with Jack's body in the morgue and doesn't let anyone stay. Except it should have been Ianto because Ianto is Jack's boyfriend. She says yes to Rhys's proposal because "no one else would have her" but if Jack asked her to be with him she'd leave Rhys in a heartbeat. Ew. And she claims to have a big heart, but she doesn't care about her teammates as much as she does aliens, even ones harmful, she doesn't know when to mind her business or to back down, and if someone isn't useful to her, she tosses them aside. And let's not forget making harsh snap judgments about Jack because she can't understand the immortal Captain who's been in Torchwood for centuries has to make the difficult decisions that no one else can. Oh. Oh yeah in the second episode she released an alien that killed a number of people, and kissed Jack as well as a young woman who the alien was using as a host, but she was supposedly in a relationship. Hell in episode one she lies to Rhys right off the bat, saying she had nothing to do with a murder investigation, but she was there, then lied about work to go hunt down Torchwood.

Let's be real. If she was a male character doing all this he'd be torn to shreds. But because Gwen's a woman, I'm a misogynist for hating her?

As much as I try not to, it's gotten under my skin and making me really angry :(

I'm not fucking misogynistic for hating a female character who's a piece of shit.

(also I'm sorry for swearing, it happens when I'm really angry and sometimes helps get my point across -)

Hey kiddo! Honestly I love Torchwood so I'm very pleasantly surprised to be talking about it on my non-fandom blog. I don't think you're a misogynist for disliking a character- because it's an individual, and you don't dislike her because she's a woman you dislike her because of the things she does in series.

Being a misogynist is very different, and is generally about things on the whole- like homophobia isn't just hating one specific gay person because they're a bit annoying, it's to do with that group and their specific shared quality.

- dad x

[real-total-drama-takes]

back on my gwourtney bs. time to speak my truth. tdas sends very mixed messages about how gwen feels about courtney but in both interpretations it makes perfect sense.

if gwen is actually truly sorry for kissing duncan: BEAUTIFUL!! they finally make up and get a chance to retry their friendship. they get closer over time and eventually realize that maybe they want to kiss too. what about it. maybe they're girlfriends. it's adorable and it's sweet.

if gwen is NOT sorry (think when she references "you can't steal a boyfriend if the boy is free" etc): ALSO BEAUTIFUL!! this could be a VERY SPECIFIC BRAND of enemies to lovers. i plan on rewriting tdas one day and i am honestly leaning towards this. this makes more sense with tdwt. listen. in tdwt, gwen really does not give a shit and she's actively gunning for courtney's elimination (courtney would've gone home in episode 16 if not for cody being bad at everything) which is totally fair cause courtney was being kinda crazy and also her relationship with duncan was super toxic at that point. anyways my point is it makes a lot of sense for gwen to be on tdas and just hate courtney's guts. or at the very least dislike her. we know courtney doesn't like gwen either. if the writers of tdas weren't COWARDS they could've put gwen and courtney in a lot of situations that forced them to be together (e.g. them being on the same team from the start/earlier on, callback to the wedding challenge [pairing them together in a silly lil duncney reference], leaving them as the only contestants in a cabin or in the hotel or something) which would've caused them to start crushing on one another cause it's 2023 let these ladies be GAY!!! it's the most beautiful toxic yuri ever. and even better they can develop into nontoxic yuri. let them move past d*ncan into a beautiful era of lesbianism.

the second type of tdas gwourtney is specifically fulfilling for the duncney shippers who really just want to see courtney be mean to someone and make out with them (let's face it who DOESN'T want to see that)

but if you like the wholesome sweet relationship they can have, GWOURTNEY GIVES YOU THAT TOO!!

gwourtney is the superior courtney ship it's everything you would ever need in a lesbian couple. they can love each other. they can hate each other. they can bond over hating one specific man. they can bond over their excessive knowledge about the history of the city of london. it's so perfect

if anyone read this entire rant please for the love of god MAKE SOME GWOURTNEY CONTENT. write them. draw them. make silly headcanons about them. encourage others to do the same. SPREAD THE GOSPEL

.

[triclopsrabbit]

spider/carnage: slurpee-au

au starts out with peter as a senior undergrad (also being spider-man), cletus is older working at a butcher. he wasn't a serial killer yet until he got the carnage symbiote, which is still growing so it's not yet full-powered, just a little baby alien, he's been mostly murdering people regular serial killer style under the radar, managing to not yell out IM CLETUS KASADY while being carnage for once.

Peter and Cletus meet at a 7/11, they always go to the same one and get slurpees so they get to talking. Peter is somewhat smitten by this mysterious older guy, he's been traumatized by Gwen's death two years ago so he's hesitant about a relationship but he's trying to let it go. Peter has a fascination with crime/murder mystery stuff and is a writer as a hobby, cletus finds this totally cute. Peter asks cletus out and cletus agrees, planning on serial-killing him but figures, he might as well have some fun with him beforehand. ("I'm not gay but I'll try anything twice.")

They both totally fall for each other, they both like how the other is not high-maintience, and cletus never seems to mind when Peter is late or cancels on plans constantly. Peter's random schedule has Cletus quite intrigued, he knows his class schedule but the classes he even shows up for are seemingly completely random, and cletus wonders where he goes constantly. Peter says it's because he's chasing spider-man for photos, or whatever other excuse he has.

Red (the carnage symbiote) matures rapidly, and she LOVES peter, she's so excited to kill him in an act that will bind them all together forever- but, no need to rush it, every time Peter brushes his hand over theirs or kisses them they push their plans back a little further. Late at night when cletus is asleep and peter's still up working on schoolwork or writing, red will take over cletus's body to talk to peter about deep stuff, science, philosophy, existential stuff, while peter thinks he is talking to cletus still. Red also gets really handsy with him, noticing all the small differences in their bodies in a real tender way. Peter falls in love with the both of them without realizing it.

Of course the good times can't last forever- cletus notices peter with strange injuries lining up with the ones he JUST put on spider-man, (carnage's injuries heal much faster) not to mention how inexplicably ripped peter is. He figures out Peter is spider-man, and this makes the thrill of the hunt even greater for him.

Oh yeah and Venom is there too, venom is suspicious of cletus because he finally tracked down where his spawn went but no ones linked the murders to carnage/cletus yet, so he's just kind of hanging around, hating spider-man (eddie is still very much in his "blame spider-man for everything" stage)

Anyway, eventually the cats out of the bag, peter comes over to cletus's apartment to find him fucked up and bleeding in the bathtub after a fight with venom, with the symbiote swirling around him. Peter is shocked and horrified, at first thinking of his previous experience with symbiotes and thinks the symbiote is controlling him, but when they explain that he's not being controlled, and that they know he is spider-man, peter freaks out but cletus trys to rack up sympathy points because he's injured, he says he's broken and needs help, needs peter to help him. Then like, few days later peter gets word eddies in the hospital bc carnage went back to fuck him up after talking to peter even though he SAID he was trying to get better and all this shit and thats when peter gets righteously angry, they have a crazy breakup in-costume

After both beating the shit out of each other while screaming, carnage doesn't feel like killing peter any more.

They were together for about a year and a half before everything went to shit, and after that carnage skips town - killing has lost its fun for cletus, every time he thinks of something he said to peter, "Killing makes me feel alive," and peter responded "Don't I make you feel alive?"

Peter is super depressed, and a year passes, he doesn't go to grad school because he's so messed up. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is like torture. Cletus isn't faring much better, killing people doesn't bring him the same satisfaction and red is unhappy and misses peter as well. when he returns to new york, its to turn himself into ravencroft, though without revealing that he's carnage and that he has a symbiote. peter goes to visit him weekly, with slurpees. They talk, but cletus never tries to manipulate him or tell him that he turned himself in "for him."

Eventually cletus feels he's done enough for himself ("I got real good at mental health") and leaves Ravencroft and is prepared to leave town with Red and Peter catches him right before he leaves and they makeout after like two years of pining lol. cletus had gone to get a slurpee and peter is looking for him frantically after finding out he's missing.

whew okay, and thats pretty much the premise of the au :3 I think we retroactively changed some things later like adding in shriek but its been a long time and i've only reread so much

They get into many more shenanigans like peter almost dying and red having to bond with him to save him, peter clones, peter getting turned into man-spider and going into spider-heat which is definitely real and not made up LMAO etc

[pyroreadscomics]

What are your thoughts about Howard's Catwoman run?

The run being really gay doesn't save the writing from being really mediocre.

(More nuance below the cut)

Well that was snappy, unfortunately my thoughts are many and complicated and probably won't be entirely ironed out until a few months after she leaves the book or I reread the run again, or both. That phrase was something I said while reading through the series for the first time a some months ago that I still mostly stand by, but now feel the need to caveat and add nuance.

(Also, it feels weird that, because I put off answering this for months, the end of Howard’s run is just a few months away now, but I’m just going to assume the ending is neither so good it retroactively makes everything better or so bad it tanks the run with guilt by association)

When I say mediocre, I very specifically don't mean bad. I'm using mediocre to mean it's average, ordinary, of moderate quality. Not bad enough to hate, or even particularly dislike, but not good enough for me to shed a tear if it was suddenly canceled (which… seeing as it’s end is now on the horizon… I’m actually filled with anticipation as to what comes next.)

And like many multi-year runs, Howard's Catwoman has had it's ups and downs while it's low points are i think widely known: Her dialogue tends towards what i can only describe as AO3 generic, the plotting itself is sub-par, Gotham War disappointing even though there was no way to go into it with high expectations (joint effort i know, but even taking only half blame for it Tini Howard doesn't come out of that event looking remotely well), and I have an entire rant ready for how I dislike how Black Mask is used in that series.

1. The reintroduction of Eiko

But, that said, at this moment I do feel like calling out some highlights of Howard's run (or at least, the bits of it I really liked.)

Also yes, alot of this could be considered fanservice, but I’m at least acknowledging that things that make me happy don’t inherently make a run good. (but at least more enjoyable to slog through than Tom King’s batman or most of her New 52 stuff)

Okay, let me be clear, Eiko in this run is a shadow of her debut in Valentine's run but Selina's supporting cast has a worrying tendency to disappear without a trace after one, max two runs, so damn if it wasn't nice to see Eiko suddenly reappear in a major role in the Catwoman run after a 6 year absence and not have her confined to the dustbin of comic history alongside other Catwoman supporting cast members such as Gwen, Alice, Zee, Clutterbuck, Wilder, Arizona, and Cassandra Cartland (If you knew every single person i mentioned without having to check, I like you, and you like me also know too much about Catwoman)

If nothing else, if Eiko's appearances in this comic, and her guest appearances in other current Gotham stories (like Punchline: Gotham Game or Ram V's excellent Gotham Nocturne) manage to cement her as a persistent part of Catwoman's cast, this run will have done enough for me to earn a passing grade.

Also I like Eiko's new catsuit and not just because it makes it easier to tell her apart from Selina

2. Catwoman #43 & #44 (The Harley Quinn two parter)

Judging by the mood in the room, If anything gets me an angry response it's going to be this.

It's fun, it was a fun two parter, and honestly there are times when I wish more writers would stop trying to do the high drama stories they're kinda bad and instead write fun inconsequential side stories.

Also yes I do ship it. What of it?

Actually speaking of

3. The queerness.

It’s not a lot, but for a character who’s been out as bi since 2015 Selina is never written that way (at least in the main comics, I understand the HQ show and the recent movies have either explicitly or implicitly had bi Selina). Like it’s so bad Selina doesn’t even get pride tie in stuff, no appearances in the pride anthologies or even pride variant cover. JFC Nightwing gets one every year and last time i checked he was still canonical cishet. And… a bit like Eiko, but less important, it’s nice to have another run where Catwoman is canonically queer. Selina acknowledging Eiko as an ex, flirting with other women, that Selina and Harley sharing a bed scene. It’s just nice to have that part of Selina’s character acknowledged.

Also it’s so minor but the gay bar called Conroy’s got me just a bit.

4. Knight Terrors

On balance, despite me having criticisms of it, I did like it as a version of “What does Selina’s worst nightmares look like”. It’s not quite as good as Devin Grayson’s take on the matter (and ain’t that a sentence) but I’m a big fan of Selina’s mind dark fears conjuring force a lot of catholic imagery and doing something actually interesting with the Sister Zero concept. (It’s really just a shame that this story is clearly setting something up for Gotham War that never actually gets paid off, which is wild considering that was literally the month after Knight Terrors)

Lastly:

5. Valmont

Look, I really liked Valmont for two reasons, one of which is superficial, one of which actually had thought put into it.

Superficially: Selina deserves a whipped subby bisexual twink, as treat. Sure he's a cocky asshole, sure he looks like pirate au ghostmaker, sure he's ready to murder anyone who looks like a threat to his dom love (and honestly anyone in general), but honestly that's all part of the charm.

Because Bruce, as the whole wedding thing shows, is big on these concrete declarations of affection, even as he’s really bad at actually expressing his affection in more casual ways. And Eiko, as she says, is “comfortable with these declarations, names. Things like titles and vows.” So in dating either of them Selina would be consenting being put into a box and labeled, even if it's a box as unconstrained as “dating” and a label as loose as “girlfriend”.

But, putting a bit of thought into things, Valmont has this really interesting role in the story. He's the obviously incorrect choice in a love triangle, but also the one who Selina would pick anyway.

Like, the issue before he dies the story teases a bit of romance with Bruce and Selina, and earlier there were some teases (or.. maybe acknowledgement is the right word?) between Selina and Eiko. There's two existing love interests for Selina, Bruce, who's the moral and safe choice, the wedding bells and gaggle of step kids choice. And there's Eiko, who's a major crime lord, one who's conducting business with some of the worst in Gotham. If it was just the two of them (especially if Eiko was closer to her Valentine personality), it'd be a pretty classic "the good boy and the bad boy girl" love triangle but Valmont is here, and he adds an interesting angle onto that love triangle(?) (is it still a triangle when there's three potential lover interests?).

(A reversal on Eiko and Selina’s very undefined relationship in Valentine’s run, which could be seen as divergence for the character but also kinda makes sense. With Eiko ending that run by shedding Catwoman (and identity that embodied personal freedom and also rebellion against her father) to become the head of the Hagisawa family (an identity marked by responsibility to the family and her place as her father’s heir) that going forward she’d be a lot less likely to engage in a nebulous undefined relationship when her life is now, by choice, very defined. It’s still however one of those things that assumes a non-zero amount of character development happened off screen.)

But Valmont? Valmont doesn’t ask anything *of* Selina.

Sure he does initially, “hey here’s this cat, I know where you live, join my thieves guild”. But this tactic gets him shot down by Selina and at best relegated to “untrusted ally” status (and more likely “useful but dangerous”). But after this, and after a brief break during the CatQuinn two-parter, Valmont’s back with a new tactic called “I’ll do literally anything you ask of me, including stopping killing people, and ask for nothing in return.” Which… with Selina being somewhat adverse to long term commitment (or commitment in general depending on the writer) this works.

Valmont’s hardly a healthier romantic option (he might not be the worst person Selina’s ever dated, but he’s still at the end of the day an arrogant invasive assassin) but he puts a spin on himself that makes Selina let her guard down around him and they do eventually become some vaguely undefined item.

And then in his final issue, Bruce accuses him of still being loyal to the league of assassins and of manipulating Selina. Then he kills again in the process of undoing a problem he caused, and gets in a big fight with Bruce about it. And when Valmont goes to kill Bruce, she kills Valmont which… It’s a weird moment for Selina, she’s normally very reserved about killing people and while yes needing to save Bruce could theoretically push her far enough. But also, it’s the best thing this run could do with Valmont.

Because Bruce’s accusations (along with Valmont’s general sketchiness) lead to this question with Valmont: does he genuinely love Selina, or is he using her for some unknown end? Because he know what he’s naturally like (down with murder) and we know he’s changed his behavior, but we don’t know whether it was because he wanted to be with Selina enough to change himself for that chance (which… understandable) or, if he was on some deep cover mission to manipulate Selina towards and he changed behavior in order to further his own covert ends. And… imo the possibility of it being one or the other is more interesting than any story you could get out of committing one way or the other.

And by killing Valmont, the run gets out of having to answer this question, which, again imo, is the most intelligent narrative decision this run made aside from bringing back Eiko.

That said, If in the last two issues Howard answers the question of “what really was up with Valmont” I’m retroactively taking back all of this praise and will be downgrading this run to "of poor quality but at least Eiko's here"