#she is my autistic girlfriend and I want her so bad

[femslashspuffy]

I wanna be her <3

[juiles]

We’re always with you.

Requested: yes.

Summary: you have autism and hide it from the team and your girlfriends until one unfortunate party incident.

Pairing: wandanat x autistic!reader

Warnings: overstimulation and a small panic attack

Tags: hurt/comfort

Masterlist here.

Taglist here.

Request form here.

A/N: sorry it took so long for me to respond to this request but I really hope you enjoy!! If you want something written message me or send me an ask!!

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“Come on detka. It won’t be that bad.” Nat muttered into your ear as she held you from behind as you stared at your form in the mirror, her arms wrapped around your waist gently. “It’ll be a couple of hours then we can come up here and cuddle okay?”

You hummed looking up, meeting her eyes through the mirror. At the moment, all you wanted was to rip away from Natasha, strip down, put on some safe comfy clothes and burrow into your special duvet however you nodded, putting a small smile on your face. “Okay Natty…”

She released your waist, one hand dragging down to capture your hand gently and tug you away from the mirror. You pulled your hand back, a normal motion for you. The girls didn’t know why but sometimes being touched made your skin crawl however they never questioned it much. You fidgeted with your top as you followed your girlfriend out to meet up with Wanda.

“You two finally ready?” She mused turning around to look at the two of you. Her face turned from a smirk to a loving smile. “You two look amazing…”

“You look great too detka.” Nat said placing a soft kiss on Wanda’s cheek before the two of them turned to face you, your hands fidgeting with your shirt again. Each of them placed a chaste kiss on your cheeks before the three of you made your way down to the party.

The music was loud as Natasha pushed the door open, revealing a throng of people dancing around, milling around the bar and sprawled out on the multiple couches chatting. Going in there seemed like the worst idea however, you had gone this long without anyone finding out as you managed to avoid any parties that Tony had thrown. Your brain instantly started to scream however you put your mask on and followed the two in front of you to the bar where they both ordered a drink before turning to you.

“What do you want malysh?” Wanda asked placing her hand on the small of your back, bringing you back to the present. Your eyes glanced over to Natasha who had concern swimming in her green eyes. “Do you want me or Natty to order for you?” She mumbled into your ear. You nodded softly, one hand going up to fidget with your necklace.

After ordering your drink and receiving the three of them, the three of you made your way over to the couches where all your friends were sitting.

You sat silently between the two girls as they all chatted. Your body stopping you from talking, earning you a few glances from your concerned friends, glances you brushed off with a small excuse of being tired.

After a couple of hours, your mask had started to slip and your could feel overstimulation take over. Your hair being in your face was causing you to constantly push it behind your ears. The clothes you were wearing were too tight, the shoes pinching your toes, your makeup felt like it was burning your skin. The music suddenly felt like the sound of nails on a chalkboard. the throbbing lights causing a migraine to start forming behind your eyes.

You started to feel your fuse grow shorter and unfortunately it was Natasha that received your final snap.

“Oh my god Natasha. Just fuck off!!” You screamed, your whole body freezing as soon as you realized what happened. Natasha turned to you with wide eyes, confusion running over her face. “Detka…?”

Your head whipped around to face a mad Wanda. “Y/N! Natasha did nothing wrong! What is wrong with you?! You’ve been nothing but stand off ish all night! She was checking to see if you were okay!” You could feel electricity running through your veins so you stood and bolted out of the party, ignoring all the people trying to bring you back with tears now streaming down your face.

You pushed the door to the staircase open and bolted up to the living floor where you flung your old bedroom door open and closed it behind you. After some digging through your drawers, you found some old safe clothes and peeled the fancy clothes off pulling on the cotton material. You flicked the small light off and burrowed into your weighted blanket after whispering for Friday to sound proof your room and unplugging all the electronics. It couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes before you heard a soft knock on your door and you let out a soft whimper.

The sound shattering the hearts of the two women outside your door. Natasha pulled Wanda a little farther from your door. “Autism.” She muttered causing the witch to look at her in confusion. “She’s got all the signs. I don’t know how we’ve never noticed it before. It explains why she exploded.” Wanda’s heart shattered again taking a glance at your door.

“I snapped at her… what do we do?” She asked softly looking back at the assassin who wiped the tears off the brunettes cheeks.

“We put on some cotton clothes, grab her little stuffed animal and her other comfort items and go check on her. She may not want us to touch her and that’s okay but she needs to know we’re here to support her okay?” The redhead said with a soft smile at the witch before the two rushed off to their room.

Your heart felt shattered as your brain played Wanda’s little rant at you over and over again. You had messed up and now she hated you. You knew eventually your autism would ruin it for you. It always did. It’s the reason your parents gave you up and you never found a forever home, dealing with the shit side of the foster system. You hid it from the team over the last 3 years, the fear of being a burden to strong to tell them.

You were once again snapped out of your thoughts with a soft knock on your door. You didn’t respond but the door opened anyways letting in some light causing you to whimper, pulling the cover over your head blocking it out. You heard two sets of footsteps and the door closing before pulling your head out of your blanket to see a sheepish Wanda and a concerned looking Natasha holding all your comfort items.

“Im so sorry detka… i shouldn’t have snapped at you…” She muttered placing your bear in your arms before taking a step back, your hand instantly reaching out towards her and your other girlfriend making grabby hands. “Do you want us to hold you malyshka? It won’t be too much?”

You shook your head. “Pressure…” Your voice came out shaky and almost silent. Both girls climbed into bed with you, you settling your head on Wanda’s chest, Natasha spooning you from behind.

It took around 40 minutes for you to finally feel okay to talk. “Im sorry… I-I-I… I didn’t mean to be a burden… I tried so hard to be normal… but I can’t…”

“And you don’t have to love. You are NOT a burden and anyone who ever called you that is wrong. You are you and that is beautiful.” Natasha muttered pressing soft kisses to your head.

“We love who you are no matter what you think. Your autism doesn’t change that detka. Being “normal” isn’t real sweetheart. Your differences are what makes you exactly what you need to be. Understand me?” Wanda said softly into your hair.

You sniffled and nodded softly in her shirt. Both women pressing kisses into your hair is what you fell asleep to that night.

The next morning, you woke up buried into your two girlfriends who were talking quietly. “Morning sleepyhead…” Wanda said looking down at you, you just tucking into her neck again with a soft whine. “How are you feeling?”

“Better but still tired…” You murmured. “I’m sorry again… i should have been honest with you but… i don’t want to lose you…”

“None of that. We aren’t going anywhere baby. Nothing will change that. Understand?” You nodded into the witches neck receiving soft kisses. “I can’t imagine how bad it was last night but you never have to go to one of those parties again okay?”

“I can go just not for that long… I have to learn my limits…” You said glancing up at Natasha who smiled softly.

“We will help you with that baby.” She said tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Because we’re always with you.”

[ghostofdiamonds]

alright having watched the first half of dungeon meshi here are my impressions of the main cast + a couple other funky little guys.

overall: they literally seem like an actual dnd party from a campaign. my headcanon is that when falin died, the dm asked her player if they wanted to make a new character and the player created senshi.

laios: himbo. BIG himbo. I love him. I know he was concerned for his sister but it sometimes felt like he was more excited about eating monsters than saving his sister. I don't even think Falin would blame him she seemed pretty excited too when she found out they were eating monsters. also not to diagnose people with autism but like. if he's not autistic I have no idea what he is.

marcille: I love this girl. she's gay as fuck and I love her. she was least open to eating monsters but by the time they reach Falin she's acclimated to it. she does magic by the book yet she specializes in forbidden magic. her main combat spell is blowing things up. she's an icon.

chilchuck: this is a man who knows what he's about. middle aged man in a union who got paid upfront. you think marcille is the normal one but I'm pretty sure it's actually chilchuck. AND YET he grew to care about the party and will go back down to the dungeon with them.

senshi: SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A COOKING SHOW STAT. imagine that you study a super niche thing for years and one day you're minding your own business and you hear someone say "aw man we're all out of options guess we've gotta do *very niche thing you specialize in*. That was Senshi. he'd been waiting his whole life for this moment. I just KNOW he was having the time of his fucking life down in the dungeon with them. he's living his best life with people who appreciate his cooking and I love that for him.

falin: absolute sweetheart. deserves better in every way. can the universe give this girl a fucking BREAK and also a girlfriend (*cough cough marcille*). she seems normal at first glance but I feel like she's just as crazy as her brother.

kabru: MY BOY. loved his design ever since I saw him in the opening. he and his party are so bad at staying alive oh my god. I can't wait to see more of him.

namari: okay I didn't like her for abandoning Falin but I get it money is tight. if nothing else I respect her for apparently (according to my friend) being bisexual and crushing on the twins she works with.

[july-19th-club]

min-woo is so funny because he's a total selfish ass who only thinks of the law as a way to get ahead in life, but also the selfish ass thing is more or less a front because the reason he wants to get ahead in life is so he has the money to support his dad, whose health is really bad. and then he's also the absolute worst to young-woo both because of the autism and because he thinks she's a nepotisim hire, but he decides at the last minute that he can't destroy her career and he's also the only person who figures out, without having to be told, why she thinks she has to break up with jun-ho. even her own boyfriend didn't figure that one out, and it's largely because jun-ho does think of her as 'my autistic girlfriend', whereas min-woo thinks of her as 'my asshole coworker, who got her job because her dad knows somebody and her mom's some other somebody, and who is also a genius, which i hate because it makes me feel like i have to work ten times harder than i already am, and who's autistic, so she doesn't even notice when i'm insulting her, which is just annoying when i want to be mean' and thus is, ironically, capable of thinking of her as a whole and entire person rather than this fragile thing who does things for nonsensical reasons . so he hears she's broken up with jun-ho on their jeju trip and is like of course it's not because she didn't get to see some dolphins! and it has nothing to do with our boss except that she learned about his divorce and sees the similarities. and she got pressured into meeting your family who were not exactly supportive. it's easy. you idiots. and then he goes back to doing his normal obnoxious thing

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking my gf to not do certain things when she’s zoomie?

🐕 (to find again)

my girlfriend and i (both adults) are both adhd and i am autistic. she is only recently finding out that she’s been adhd her whole life, we both get the zoomies (hyperactive) from time to time, but my gfs zoomies can sometimes be physically overwhelming.

my girlfriend is much taller and stronger than me, she used to wrestle so she can grapple me pretty easily. when she gets zoomie, she likes to mouth me (like a dog would), lick me, and blow air into my nose/mouth. i love this girl so much, but when she starts doing these things (especially in rapid secession) i get very overstimulated very fast. some of these things i really dont like, like the air blowing, and some of these i dont like but we’ve worked together to make okay for me, like the licking.

previously, she has been told she was “too much” by people and has been shamed when she got hyperactive. i don’t want to make her feel bad about having fun and being hyper bc theres really nothing wrong with it.

i’ve taken to saying that we’re having “competing sensory needs” when she starts being hyper and blowing air into my nose/mouth and she’ll slow down a bit but i notice she also feels bad after i say it. i remind her that i love her and her zoomies and that she isnt annoying me but i am just getting physically overwhelmed.

i still feel Bad that i make her feel insecure about her zoomies like this. ive tried expressing that i dont like air being blown into my nose/mouth, but if she has to do it that the mouth is more bearable. i really dont like either. i want to work with her to find a sensory thing that will provide the same stimulation she gets from that, but im not sure theres a good replacement.

so, WIBTA if i sat her down and told her that we need to find a different zoomie she could do that gives her the same feeling?

What are these acronyms?

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

A Hard Day

Rosa Diaz x autistic!fem!reader Warnings: autism struggles, overstimulation (the autism kind not the sex kind), explicit language, soft Rosa <3 (if I've missed anything please let me know!) Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Rosa leaves work in the middle of the day to help you after you get overstimulated. She starts to realize that she really, really cares about you.

“I gotta go,” Rosa said, standing abruptly mid-text.

“Wow, skipping out on the job, Diaz?” Jake joked, spinning around in his chair. “It’s only 3:00.”

Rosa didn’t answer, pulling on her coat and rummaging in her bag for her keys.

“What, you can’t wait until the end of the work day to make out with your new girlfriend?”Jake waggled his eyebrows.

She glared at him. “Not that it’s any of your fucking business,” Rosa growled, “but she’s having a hard day.”

Jake puckered his lips, an exaggerated expression of sadness. “Aw,” he cooed in a baby voice. “Y/N needs her little girlfriend to kiss it better?”

Rosa’s arm shot out to grab Jake’s collar, so quickly and forcefully that he yelped. “She’s autistic, jackass. Her bad days aren’t like ours.”

Jake looked uncomfortable as Rosa let him go, shoving him back into his seat so hard he rolled away a bit.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Tell her, uh… good luck with the autism?”

Rosa rolled her eyes and stared at him. “You’re an idiot. Tell anyone about this and I’ll shove my boot so far down your throat the heel comes out your ass.”

He grimaced. “You’re a real poet, Rosa.”

But she was already gone, already on her motorcycle, already racing to your apartment at speeds she might have pulled someone over for.

She was quiet when she got to your apartment, quiet as she let herself in, quiet as she took off her leather jacket and set her bag by the door. Noise was one of your biggest triggers, so Rosa was careful not to add any. She found you in the corner of your bedroom–lights off, curtains closed, oversized hoodie pulled over your head, swinging your body back and forth, back and forth.

You looked adorable. She felt a little bad for finding you so pretty like this. She knew it had been a hard day for you, that this was your brain and body’s way of regulating itself. But, god, did she love your tiny, swinging arms. The way you soaked in so much of the world that she worked so hard to keep out. It was one of her favorite things about you, that you felt everything, experienced everything, so deeply. Rosa had a hard time letting herself experience or feel anything fully. Except you.

She knocked lightly on the door to let you know she was there. You swung a little wider, twisting your neck so you could see that it was her. You waved your hand at her briefly, then continued swinging. Rosa grinned at you. She'd never admit it, but her stomach did little somersaults whenever you saw her and smiled. It was so particular to you, a smile combined with stims. You’d squeeze your eyes together and lift your shoulder to touch your ear, grinning so big your eyes would disappear.

“Hi, Rosa,” you said quietly as she approached you. 

“Hi, baby.” She took your hand and squeezed. If you had looked at her, if you had made eye contact, you would have seen something not many people saw in Rosa’s eyes–softness, care, deep-seated concern. You would have seen a face that was open, that read loud and clear, I would do anything for you. “You feeling any better?”

You shook your head.

“Want me to hold you?”

You nodded, and Rosa gently pulled on your arm, leading you to the bed. She got herself situated, then pulled you onto her lap. You buried your face beneath her neck, pressing into her, seeking out deep pressure, the steady sound of her heartbeat, the smell of her perfume on her neck–citrusy and spicy. She held you hard, her strong arms wrapped around you, her body tensed to give you the most pressure she could.

The first time you’d let her see you overstimulated, she’d tried to play with your hair and hold you gently, and you’d said, “That’s too light. Press hard.” So she’d pulled you into a loose hug. “Harder, Rosa.” So she’d squeezed you, resting her face next to yours. “More, Rosa,” you’d insisted. “I’m not gonna break.” She’d been afraid she was hurting you, but there was no denying the results. When she held you like that–so tightly she worried you’d burst–your breathing slowed, your muscles relaxed, you melted into her like all the stress of the world couldn’t touch you. And she genuinely hoped that when you were in her arms, it couldn’t.

You let out a relieved sigh as Rosa rested her chin on your hooded head, snaking her hand inside to gently scratch her fingers along your scalp and through your hair as she rocked you back and forth.

“I shouldn’t have gone,” you whispered into her chest.

“To the work thing?”

You nodded.

“I did so good until the end.” Your voice cracked, and Rosa pressed her lips to your head. “I hate being like this.”

“Hey, now,” Rosa said, her voice vibrating against you. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.”

“But it’s true,” you insisted. “It makes everything harder. It makes it harder for you, too.”

Rosa sighed. She wanted to look into your eyes, but she knew that’d be hard for you right now, so she settled for pressing her cheek to yours instead.

“Y/N,” she said, her breath warm in your ear. “There is nothing hard about being with you.”

“I don’t believe you."

“I know that being autistic is hard for you sometimes,” Rosa continued. “But it’s really beautiful, too. I love your stims. I think they’re adorable. I think you’re funny without trying to be. You make me laugh. And smile. And ask anyone I know, I never smile. That’s just for you. You just… you see things and experience things in a way that’s just yours. And that’s badass.”

You giggled and sniffed. “You think autism’s badass?”

“I do,” she confirmed, grinning as you emerged from your hoodie, finally meeting her eyes. “I think it’s hot, too.”

You laughed and traced Rosa’s eyebrows with your finger, making your way down the bridge of her nose, then across the place where her face dimpled when she smiled, all the way to the bottom of her lips. She bent toward you and kissed your pointer finger, then took your hands and kissed your nose, smiling as you scrunched and stimmed.

“Grey’s Anatomy?” she asked. “I can make us mac ‘n cheese later, too.”

Your face lit up, and you leaped out of bed, your hoodie swallowing you. “Spongebob shapes?” She nodded. You grabbed Rosa’s hand and pulled her to her feet, kissing her quickly on the mouth.

“Wait, wait, not so fast,” she protested, as you bounced on the balls of your feet, trying to zoom off to the living room. She held the bottom of your face in both her hands and pulled your head toward her, kissing you deeply. She smiled into the kiss as you shook your hands next to your face.

“I love you,” you chirped, as you pulled away, thinking nothing of it and bounding into the living room. But Rosa’s breath caught in her throat. You all hadn’t said I love you yet. You hadn’t had the moment. But maybe there didn’t need to be a moment. Rosa’s heart surged as she watched you get the TV set up, covering yourself in a blanket so that only your head popped up.

“Come on, Rosa!” you called. “I want to snuggle!”

Rosa joined you on the couch, laying down so that her head was on your chest, her body pressing into yours, knowing that you’d find the pressure comforting. She’d never admit it–not to anyone but you–but she found it comforting, too, like this. She liked to be held. She would murder anyone who ever found out, but she loved your hands through her hair, loved being able to hear your heartbeat, loved the way your arms around her seemed to grow heavier when you fell asleep.

“I love you, too,” she mumbled into you, surprised by how easy it was to say.

“What?” you said, tilting your head toward her, your eyes still trained on the TV.

She smiled. “I said I love you, you nerd.”

“Oh. Yeah,” you confirmed, as if it was the easiest, most natural thing in the world to love Rosa. And, for you, it was. “Yeah, me too.”

[kaivenom]

Hey may I request a spider x fem reader where it's the map scene and I said something bad about the reader ( u can make it up ) and she has atusim like quinn and the reader runs away with quinn and Darren chasing after her and neither one can make her not cry anymore so they go to spider as he's the only one they know that can make calm down as he has a big soft spot for her like he has for ant please

In need for comfort

Summary: when the map is discovered, the actual girfriend of your ex tried to make you feel bad about it. Not knowing how to handle it, you run away from everyone, until some blonde appears.

Pairing: Spencer "Spider" White x autistic!reader

Warnings: sexual themes, mention of previous smut, mean people.

A/N: i will try to write an "autistic" reader but i don't know if i will do it well so please be kind. I will guide myself by Quinni's behaviour on some scenes.

Masterlist

Five minutes ago someone screamed about some incest map and everyone started a crazy race to see what was going on, you and your friends included. Once you get there, you discovered a wall full on names and connected with lines that defined the sexual act the two persons did. Fast enough you searched for your name, discovering it's only connected with one person. You sighted with relief knowing nobody speculates about your secret relationship with Spider.

The only person they connected you with was your ex-boyfriend. The gold line of sex and the green line of... your heart skipped a beat and you couldn't catch a breath, pressure on your chest building up. The green line is for anal, your cheeks are burning from embarrasment. Everyone is laughing, you don't know about who but it feels like it's about you.

"Wow, it looks like someone it's a little slut," you can't think straight, your vision starting to blurr as you look to the wall.

The voice that sounded on the background sounded like the new girlfriend of your ex, this can't be worse. The attetion it's starting to get officially into you.

"So, you let my boyfriend enter the back door." her voice sounded closer every second. "what a fucking slut, maybe that's why he dumped you." You feel like floating, expecting to fall every moment now, not being able to continue listening to the girl, which is closer every second.

People are around moving like ghosts to you. The air is escaping and entering your lungs faster that you can asimilate, it feels like you are about to fade out while the blood rushes at high speed thru your ears.

"(Y/N)," Darren's voice sounded distant.

You don't knwo how to handle breathing, seeing or feeling anymore, your legs started moving without warning, trying to get you out of there as faster as possible. Darren and Quinn's voice following you from behind, but you don't care, you only want to run from everyone.

You get to a hidden spot, nearby some trees. Your friends got there not so long before you, keeping the distance as you place your back on the wall trying to catch your breath. Uncontrollably, you started shaking your hands and moving you head in a poor attempt to shake everyhing outside your body.

"(Y/N)," there it is, Darren's voice again, you aren't able to speak now and they know.

Movemment around you, they left you alone?, that's strange, that's sad, you started to cry again, remembering all the people that left you because you were to "strange or "difficult to treat". You never expected that from Darren since they already had Quinn as a friend.

"Here she is, i can't do anything, she is not respondind, please, do something."

Darren's voice appeared on screen but with someone new, a familiar shadow formed in front of you. It's not touching you but somehow, it has a little calming effect on you, it's Spider.

"I don't know what to do, this is not my strong point, tell me what you need." you denied with your head, unable to speak, only going back to the wall.

He got next to you, but instead of hugging you, Spider sat on the bench next to both. You didn't even realized it was there, now you know you let your legs fade out and sit abruptly on the bench with him. Suddently, your favourite song started to sound on the background, apparently Spider put it on with his phone.

Your breath finally started to calm down a little, but your heart still races to fast for your pleassure. An object got in your view, an anti estress ball. You took it between your hands, brushing slightly Spider's hands in the process. Your fingers finally stopping to move around uncontrollably as you feel how wet your cheeks are from crying.

You didn't felt all that things before, but it's a good thing you are feeling them now, it's a sign that you are regaining control. You don't know how much time has passed, but the song played all the time and Spider didn't left your side.

"Are you better now?" his voice sounded more clear that has been the previous four times he asked you, maybe you are prepaerd to answer now.

"I think ... yes." the words are difficult to get out of your mouth.

His figure moved closer, sliding himself next to you, now your shoulders touching slightly. His hand moved slowly to your thight, which makes you shiver for a moment. HIs fingers don't stop moving to your leg, they only slow down, just to make time for you to adapt.

Now his touch is firm, moving up and down with confidence, making you feel better every second he is close to you. Finally, you found the courage to look at him, a smile forming on his lips seeing you finally.

"I am glad i didn't make you feel worse."

"I think... you would do that." speaking to him is still a little difficult.

He extended his hand to interlock your fingers together, kissing your knuckles in the most gentle way. You couldn't help but smile and giggle, now you kiss his cheek making him blush.

"At least they didn't catch us." you let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, you're right."

"And don't worry, i won't leave you like that idiot, i think you aren't too much... you are just the perfect amount to me."

[monstersandmaw]

Male orc x gender neutral reader (light nsfw)

Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

Commission number two folks!

Content: Gender and body neutral reader who’s autistic deals with sensory overload while at a funfair, stimming includes rocking and pressure on the hands. Male orc offers a way out so the reader can catch their breath. Very brief mention of the orc losing a close friend in the past year, and of deciding to live more in the moment because of it. Light-ish nsfw at the end with a bit of a fade to black. 

Wordcount: 7562

Three hours ago, you’d been sure you could handle this. How could you not? It was a day out with your friends for Lily’s birthday, but of course, the orc had chosen the modern equivalent of a jousting tournament to show off her skills to her girlfriend. Still, you and Luke and Ellis had met up and made your way through town, collecting Lily and Maggie outside a gelateria, where naturally you all paused to buy the most amazing ice cream in town. With a start like that, how could things possibly go wrong?

After a leisurely walk to the fairground on the outskirts of town, you’d watched Luke win a fluffy white rabbit toy that was almost as big as he was on the coconut shy, despite the way the game was obviously rigged, but the werewolf had wagged his shaggy grey tail and howled his victory to the sky and clutched his new friend to his chest like it was his own goddamn child, and you’d clapped and cheered along with everyone else at the soppy wolf.

You hadn’t noticed the way you'd started to grip one hand with the other, squeezing tightly with finger and thumb just to give a little release to the steady buildup of pressure inside you as the atmosphere of the fanfare closed in around you. You also didn’t notice that you were gently rocking from side to side on the spot while you waited for Ellis to decide if he was going to go and say hi to the girl he’d been crushing on for a while, so when you found a teenager staring openly at you from the queue for the paintball stand, you assumed their attention was on Ellis.

Ellis usually attracted looks, not only because he was a goblin — a species that was relatively rare in your part of the world — but because his storm-grey skin was mottled all over with pale patches from vitiligo. He wasn’t bothered by the attention for the most part, but when you saw exactly where their gaze was directed instead — at your twisting hands — you felt an ugly stab of something bitter go through you. Carnivals may not offer the outdated and heartless ‘freak show’ elements anymore, but boy were you made to feel like one sometimes by other people.

“Hey, look!” Ellis exclaimed, his scratchy, reedy voice cutting through the maelstrom of noise and crush of people easily enough. “There she is! I’m gonna go see if she’s up for a ferris wheel ride. You think she’ll say yes?”

Your nod came out jerky and a bit stilted, but you mustered a smile of encouragement for your friend and he grinned back at you, all his sharp teeth glinting in the sunshine. Then something shifted in his expression and he frowned. “You ok?” he asked as his completely black eyes went a little wider with concern.

Again, you nodded and tried to look a little more convincing. After weeks of dancing around each other, he was finally going to shoot his shot, and there was no way you wanted him to miss because of you. “Fine,” you croaked. The word came out like a cat hocking up a hairball, but at least you got it out.

“Ok. Text me, alright?” he said. “Text me if you wanna go.”

You nodded. No way were you going to be the reason everyone left. If things got bad, you’d just… bail. Somehow. If you could find your way out of the crush of people without imploding first.

Glancing right, you saw Lily raise the hammer on the high striker and watched her muscles bunch and flex in her arms, shoulders and back. She was wearing a black tank top that said, ‘If lost, return Butch to Femme Fatale’ and beside her stood pint-sized Maggie in her denim hot pants and white t-shirt that read ‘Femme Fatale’. It was adorable, honestly, but as you stood there alone in the stream of people coursing and jostling down the avenue of grass between the smaller stands and side-shows, over-stimulation swamped you completely and you found yourself drowning silently.

Flashing lights, blaring funfair music, screaming, children running this way and that, rides rumbling and rattling on all sides, electronic bleeps and jingles mingling into a cacophonous mixtape in the air and reverberating in your head, cartoon pistol noises on the laser gun range sounding over and over and over, more screaming as the pendulum ride swung overhead once again…

The sensory overload raked its claws across your skin and left you with white noise in your head and cotton wool in your mouth.

The scent of candy floss grew chokingly thick in the air as you just stood there, paralysed.

Out of nowhere, a small and extremely solid lizardfolk kid barrelled into you, nearly knocking you flying. His horned head collided with your thigh and it hurt, but you didn’t cry out. His father scooped him up by the hand and apologised to you, but when he saw you rocking from side to side, he snatched his kid away and shot you another look, as if you were contagious or dangerous and not just struggling to kick start your brain again so you could get yourself the heck out of there and find somewhere safe to process everything.

Struggling to catch your breath, you gripped one hand with the other, squeezing as hard as you could but it wasn’t enough. There was just too much, inside and out, and you had nowhere to put it — nowhere to park it all until you could deal with it.

Someone ducked in front of you, their huge form blotting out the searing light of the afternoon sun.

Blinking, you looked up, still rocking, and tried to focus on their face.

He was an orc, you realised when you saw the huge, jutting tusks in his lower jaw and the expanse of sage green skin. A long, thick plait of black hair hung forward over his left shoulder, and through it ran a streak dyed a dark, vibrant red that was really attractive; it complemented the green tone of his freckled skin beautifully. Wearing a white, sleeveless tank top that had the logo of the fairground company on it, he wasn’t built like he spent every spare minute in the gym, but he looked like he could have lifted the ferris wheel right off its supports with no trouble at all.

Someone snickered nearby and you flinched, but you didn’t break the steady rocking motion of your body while mentally you tried to fend off all the unending stimuli around you. The orc’s expression darkened when he caught the sound of  laughter, and he stepped pointedly a little to the left. The movement served to block you from their sight and to refocus your attention on something that was quiet and solid and steady in front of you.

Yeah, he was solid alright. You blinked and watched the corners of his mouth twitch upwards just a little behind his colossal tusks, both of which bore silver caps over the tips to indicate that he had reached full maturity in the eyes of his culture. It probably meant that his tusks were filed to sharp points beneath the caps too. It was rare for orcs who lived in the city to stick to the older ways, but as you continued to stare up at him and move side to side while you ran your hands over your forearms, you noticed the beads in his braid of different materials: wood, copper, steel, glass, stone, and even bone. He’d lost someone close to him then at some point. Gods, now was not the time to be fishing everything you knew about orcs out of the depths of your brain.

For another few seconds, he continued to shield you from the staring judgement of the people in the queue for the nearest booth, but when you didn't seem to be able to settle, he jutted his chin to the side of the grassy avenue between the stalls.

“My name is Rhokann. You wanna step this way for a second? Catch your breath where it’s a bit quieter?” he said.

When no words came to your lips, he tilted his head just a little and then beckoned you with a big hand. “There’s a quieter spot over by that oak tree and the river. You want to come with me for a minute?”

You did. You also wanted to say thank you, but the words got glued up on their way from your brain to your mouth, so you just nodded.

He stuck out his arm and halted the flow of people for a moment to usher you between the candy floss stall and something else that was painted a thousand lurid colours so you didn’t look too long at it. Only when you saw the bole of a huge, old oak and a wide patch of un-trampled grass around it did you let out a shaky breath and turn to see him standing a little way off. A couple of people peered after you down the gap between the stalls, and he looked back at them with a very articulate and animalistic growl. That done, he stepped a little to his right, obscuring the view of you down the small alley with his body.

“Forget about them and look out over the river for a minute,” he suggested.

His dark brown eyes slid from you to the railings behind you, and you turned to see the river gushing in a white foam over the weir that controlled its flow through the city beyond. The sounds of the funfair behind you faded slowly, dissolving into the steady stream of white noise from the river, and you took a deeper breath and gradually released the death-grip you’d had on your own hands.

You let your gaze unfocus a little, but your body kept on moving as it tried to help you dissipate all the tension that had been building in your muscles and your mind ever since you’d first arrived at the fair.

A shadow moved in the corner of your vision, and you found Rhokann approaching slowly. He cast a pointed look at the metal railing to your left and said, “You mind if I join you for a moment?”

You shook your head. The word ‘no’ didn’t want to come, but he didn’t seem to take it as rudeness.

“Cheers,” he said. “Carnival gets intense, huh?”

This time, you nodded and he smiled when he saw it. You liked the way it hitched his mouth up around his tusk on the right, and it brought a twinkle to his coffee-brown eyes.

“Take your time,” he said. “You here with your friends?”

You nodded.

“They know where you were?”

You shook your head, but reached into your pocket and drew out your phone. Shaking it a little, you hoped he’d get the idea that they could contact you if they wanted to find you, or the other way around, and he smiled again in understanding. Your heart skipped a beat. He may have been seven and a half feet tall, but he had a gentle demeanour that you hadn’t really realised was possible in someone that big. He had a paunch too, which he clearly wasn’t trying to hide with his close-fitting, sleeveless top, and you could see from the scoop of the neckline that he had an attractive swirl of dark hair across his pecs that made you wonder what the rest of him looked like without clothes on; a fact that was startling enough in that moment to make you flush hot and look away.

“You want me to keep you company for a bit, or do you want some space?” he asked after another couple of minutes floated past.

You shook your head and then struggled to find the words to make him stay just a bit longer. When he saw you floundering, he smiled and asked, “Stay?”

You nodded, exhaling in relief, even as you fought off a rush of disappointment in not being able to form the words.

“You’re good,” he said with a wave of a huge hand. “Don’t stress talking.”

He took a deep, luxuriant inhale and leaned his massive forearms on the metal railing, easing his weight forward and gazing out at the river. His braid went all the way to the small of his back and it made you want to wrap it around your hand and tug just to see what kind of sound he’d make, and again, you had to look away before he caught you lusting after him. Just because you’d been rescued by a heroic stranger, didn’t mean you had to go falling in love with him in the following five minutes. It didn’t hurt that he hadn’t batted an eyelid at your stimming, or that he didn’t seem bothered by the fact that you’d been rendered almost completely non-verbal by the whole experience.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket a while later and you drew it out again to see that Lily was looking for you.

‘Where are you, Titch?’ she’d texted and you smiled when you saw the nickname. The massive orc had given it to you back in college, and it had stuck ever since. Even Ellis called you ‘Titch’ sometimes, despite the fact that he was nearly a foot and a half shorter than you. ‘We turned around and you’d gone!’

Rhokann was watching you from the corners of his kind eyes, and you waggled the phone again before typing out a message to Lily. ‘Needed to step away for a second. Got rescued by a super hot orc guy. More at ten.’

Lily texted back immediately. ‘Super hot orc guy, huh? I’ll be the judge of that. Where are you?’

‘Big oak tree on the edge of the park near the river. Don’t embarrass me please.’

‘As if I’d ever…’

‘You spend every spare minute you’re not kissing Maggie trying to embarrass me and El and Luke.’

‘Fair play. We’re nearby. I can see the tree’

You locked your phone and swallowed thickly, feeling a bit more able to talk. “Friend’s coming…” you faltered. Wow. Nice and articulate, you sneered at yourself with your usual sarcasm.

“That’s good,” Rhokann smiled back. He made no move to push himself back upright from the railings though, and shifted his gaze back out to the city that sprawled over the other side of the river. He gave another sigh.

You stepped a little closer and looked up at him. “You… ok?” you asked.

“Mm,” he hummed. When he looked back down at you, his dark eyes were strangely sad. “Just… thinking,” he said with a gesture of his hand near his temple. “I’ve been working here all summer, and it’s been amazing, but I’m starting a full time job in a week. I’m just thinking about what’s coming next.”

“Doing what?” Words were starting to come back a little quicker now, but it wasn’t great.

He turned his head over his shoulder to look at you, but before he could answer your question, you heard Lily’s voice coming from behind you.

“Hey Titch!” she called, and then she eyed the other orc ostentatiously up and down.

She raised an eyebrow when she saw the beads in his braid and the cuffs around his thick tusks, and you watched Rhokann deflate a little. Lily was not a traditional orc. For one, she was dating a human, which wasn’t exactly frowned upon but humans weren’t normally seen as suitable partners for her kind, and for another, she had cut her black hair short in a style shaved close to her skull above her pointed ears and left a little longer on top. She wore no cuffs on her tusks, and she’d filed them to softly-rounded points. “As much for Maggie’s pleasure as my own damned convenience,” she’d once told you.

Lily disdained orcs who stuck to the old ways, thinking them brutish thugs stuck in the past, and she folded her arms as she stared Rhokann down. “You wanna head home?” she asked in a low growl.

You turned your attention to Rhokann and he offered you a tiny, sad smile and a shrug of his shoulder. You wanted to stay and get to know him, but you also desperately wanted to be away from the fairground now. Your body felt drained of life, like you were running on fumes, and all you wanted was the quiet of your apartment, a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, and a good book.

In the end, Rhokann decided for you. He offered you a broader smile, and said, “It was nice meeting you. Take care.”

You’d never regretted your tendency to go non-verbal more than watching him walk away and not being able to say thank you.

With Lily on one side, you were joined by Luke a few minutes later, still hauling around the giant fluffy bunny he’d won, its ears flopping comically with each of his bounding steps, but you kept scanning every face for Rhokann. You saw an ogre with green skin that was a similar shade to Rhokann’s, but disappointment bit deep when you realised it wasn’t him, and when a flash of red hair up ahead drew your attention, you barely contained a sob when you saw it was a troll with multiple streaks of red in their black hair.

The walk back home passed in a daze, and you spent the rest of the day buzzing in the worst way possible.

A week later, Luke texted and asked if you wanted to grab breakfast on your way to work, and since you only had stale cereal in your cupboard, you practically leapt at the chance. ‘You mind if we drop my car off at the garage on the way?’ he asked with a subsequent text. ‘There’s an amazing little cafe just around the corner and we can get the metro from there afterwards.’

When his sputtering old deathtrap wheezed onto the garage forecourt though, your heart practically sputtered out as well. There, in oil-stained overalls, was Rhokann.

He didn’t spot you to start with, but when you climbed out of the passenger side and closed the door, his eyes flickered to you and then away again. Then back in a huge, obvious double-take, and his face split into a hearty grin. “Hey,” he chuckled once he’d taken the keys from Luke. “I didn’t think I’d get the chance to see you again.”

“Neither did I,” you admitted, and Luke shot you a look. He was in his human form this time, but he was no less intimidating than he looked as a shifted werewolf. For all that he was happy to haul a fluffy, cartoon rabbit around a funfair all day without a lick of self-consciousness, he was a dedicated gym-rat and had the body to match, but while his commitment was certainly admirable, he wasn’t your type. Rhokann, on the other hand, with his strongman physique and solid layer of fat to soften the strength that lay beneath… unfff… It was hard to look at him for long without feeling your skin start to prickle with heat.

“Wait, you two know each other?” Luke asked you and you nodded.

“He came to my rescue at the fairground last weekend while you were showing that white rabbit the time of its life,” you grinned.

At that, Luke flushed. You weren’t the only one who liked Rhokann’s build, but the orc wasn’t looking at Luke’s incredibly toned arms, which were currently being deliberately shown off to amazing advantage by his tight, black t-shirt. No, Rhokann was looking at you like you were the most interesting thing he’d seen in a year, and it was enough to make a cloud of butterflies erupt in your chest.

“Damn,” Luke hissed down at you, smirking. “You weren’t kidding about the ‘super hot orc guy’ thing.”

At that, your eyes went wide with horror and you smacked him in the chest with a wild flail of your hand. “I can’t believe Lily told you I said that, but you didn’t have to fucking repeat it!” you hissed around a strangled yelp. “In front of him,” you added through gritted teeth.

Rhokann chuckled quietly from a few feet away, and you turned quickly back to look at him. He raised one thick, black eyebrow and you rolled your eyes.

Turning to Luke in desperation as a mild panic seeped across your brain, you blurted, “Didn’t you say they were super busy at breakfast? Come on, we’d better go…”

And with that, you bolted from the garage without waiting for Luke to follow.

You weren’t proud, and you were sorely disappointed in yourself for chickening out, but in your defence, your friend had just embarrassed the hell out of you in front of your hero of the day. What if Rhokann just thought you were some human with a crush now?

Luke caught up with you, looking back over his shoulder at Rhokann for a second, and then trotted down the road at your side. “Hey, wait, I’m… I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“It’s ok,” you groaned. “I know how it feels when there’s a gorgeous guy standing there looking like… that… In your case, stupid stuff falls out of your mouth. In my case, I clam up.”

“Fair, but still,” Luke groused, holding the door of the cafe open for you and letting you step in ahead of him. “I’m sorry.”

The scent of coffee and sweet icing sugar wafted around you and you forgot your embarrassment for a bit, but the way you’d scuppered your chances haunted you for the rest of the morning at work.

By the time you got home, you were fractious and stimming and in need of some space to slough off the day on your own terms. When your phone chimed a little while later, you assumed it would be one of your friends, but it was an unknown number, and your heart skipped a beat.

‘Hey, it’s Rhokann. I hope this isn’t presumptuous of me. Your friend Luke gave me your number and said it was an apology, but he didn’t say what for. Anyway, if you’re not interested, just ignore this and block my number, but I’d love to see you again. Let me know if you’re up for that, and maybe we can figure something out soon. If not, I’m glad I met you all the same and I won’t contact you again.’

No one had ever said anything like that to you, and you stared at the text for a full five minutes.

The first person you texted though was Luke to yell at him affectionately in all caps. He called you back, and you accepted the call with a little huff that made him laugh with quiet fondness. “I’m sorry, Titch,” he said. “But I fucked up, and I figured he’d been about to ask for your number before you bolted…”

“Yeah, but I would have had the chance to say no…” you said.

“True, and I’m sorry I interfered again,” he sighed, and then after barely a beat had passed, “So are you gonna meet up?”

You rolled your eyes and flopped down onto the sofa. “I haven’t texted back. But probably.”

“Yes! He’s stunning. You saw those caps on his tusks though, right? He’s old school… He’s probably gonna go all-out to impress you…”

“So long as he doesn’t literally hunt and catch dinner for me, I don’t mind. Lily told me about orc courtship, and I am not interested in a whole fucking elk on my doorstep or something…”

“Nah, but he might challenge the chef to a death match for the honour of feeding you…”

“Oh please don’t even joke about it,” you groaned, and Luke did laugh, long and loud. “I’m hanging up now, you bastard.”

“Love you too, Titch,” he said, and hung up for you.

It took a while to figure out how to reply to Rhokann, but eventually you came up with something that you hoped didn’t sound super desperate and strange. ‘Sorry I bailed earlier like that. Luke has no shame, I swear, but I’ve told him off for going behind my back and we’re friends again now. You free this Friday evening?’

Before you could chicken out, you sent the message and sat back on the sofa, wringing your hands quietly in your lap and breathing steadily.

His reply came five minutes later. ‘If it helps, he was really awkward about broaching the topic with me when he came to collect his car. And yes I am free this Friday. What were you thinking?’

‘All on me then?’

‘I have suggestions but I wondered what you wanted. Cocktails at ‘IceCube and Henbane’? Catching that new movie they’re advertising all over town? Dinner somewhere? A walk along the river and takeaway from one of the food trucks? Any combination of those?’

Realising he was probably letting you decide on something that wouldn’t be as overstimulating as the funfair had been, you decided to keep being playful first. ‘You know henbane is poisonous to humans?’

‘They serve human-safe cocktails too, and non-alcoholic ones too that are just as good. Steer well clear of the naga-specific menu though because that shit could clean out a drain. Or strip the rust off your buddy’s car.’

You barked a laugh that echoed off the walls of your apartment. ‘I’ll tell him you said that.’

‘Go ahead, I said as much to him already.’

His texts had a cocky kind of confidence that he’d not really exuded on the day you’d met him at the fair, but then you remembered how he’d drawn himself up to his full height to shield you from those artless onlookers and flexed his shoulders just a fraction to make them back off, and you figured the two sides of him could probably sit well on his bulky frame after all.

‘Oof, I bet his ego took a hit with that. Let’s do cocktails and then maybe walk them off along the river afterwards?’

‘Sounds perfect. Shall I meet you somewhere first or meet there?’

You looked the place up online, which you probably should have done first in case it was out of your price range, and hit the map on the website to see where it was. Having arranged to meet him there, you signed off for the night and tried to get your mind to stop spinning. Somehow, despite two missed chances, the universe had thrown you a gift and a third chance in the form of Luke’s meddling.

That Friday, dressed in what you hoped would be an appropriate outfit for a cocktail bar in a swankier part of the city, you headed out with your heart in your throat.

Rhokann was impossible to miss, standing under the soft, orange light of the lamp outside the cocktail bar, and wow did he look good in black dress pants and a white shirt. His twin silver tusk-caps caught the light, and you noted that this time he had his hair tied back off his face in twin braids that melted into a single rope that hung down his spine.

He spotted you and turned to watch you walk towards him, but he didn’t make any kind of move towards you until you came to a stop in front of him and looked up into his softly smiling face.

“Hi,” you said awkwardly.

“Hi. You look gorgeous,” he added, eyeing you up and down in a way that made his gaze feel like a physical presence against your skin, and it was all you could do to repress a shiver.

You swallowed thickly. “Likewise.”

“Shall we head in?”

“Lead the way,” you said, not really wanting to walk into the unfamiliar space first. Rhokann just nodded and pushed the door open, holding it for you to enter behind him before heading into the softly-lit, wood-panelled bar.

It had the cosy, secretive air of a speakeasy, and as you wove through the tables behind the server who had looked Rhokann up and down and licked her lips in a very unsubtle display of interest, you spotted someone playing an upright piano in a far corner. Rhokann thanked the server politely and let his eyes drift back to you a moment later, the woman apparently forgotten. Something warmed in your chest and you took your seat opposite him.

He was one of those people that had real presence, and it wasn’t just his size that conjured it around him like a tangible aura. There was something about him that made people look at him, but his eyes never left you. After two menus had been set down before you, he said, “Tonight’s on me, if that’s alright?”

“You’re sure?”

Rhokann inclined his head and you caught sight of an earring dangling from his right ear. It looked like a piece of jet shaped like a small fang, polished and set in silver and dangling by a single link to a ball stud in his earlobe. He had silver rings up the line of cartilage to the pointed tips of his ears, and in the lobe of his left he had a simple silver stud. At the artfully-open neck of his white shirt, you could see the hint of an orcish tattoo and a whisper of dark hair that made something thrum through you again.

In contrast to your habit of moving around, he seemed still and calm as a monolith, and you found yourself drawn to that; drawn to his steadiness in a way you’d never experienced with anyone. Over the course of the next two hours, the two of you also talked in a way you’d never found easy with anyone. He listened, and in a measured, easy, back and forth of conversational give and take, you got to know each other.

His family was wealthy and lived in the country for the most part, and yes, they were very traditional by modern orcish standards. “You might think I’m pretty formal when it comes to orcish ways,” he said, looking self-conscious for the first time all evening, “But you should see my parents and my two older brothers…” He took a deep draw of his smoky, whisky cocktail and blew out a breath. The tip of his tongue caressed his lower lip just a little as he savoured the lingering taste, and your eyes tracked the movement hungrily.

To distract yourself, you eyed his silver tusk-caps and said, “I was going to ask about…” and tapped the side of your mouth awkwardly, not sure if you should really be asking about his orcish jewellery and personal tastes so soon.

To your relief, Rhokann smiled and brought his finger and thumb up to the right hand tusk. He lifted the cap off and turned it over in his hand for a second before handing it to you to look at. The tusk beneath gleamed beautifully in the low light, and you had been correct in guessing that his tusks were tipped with wickedly sharp points beneath them.

In your fingers, the cap was practically the size of a tiny shot glass, and you could see the orcish patterns engraved into its surface all the way around. “It’s beautiful,” you said. “My friend Lily told me a bit about orcish culture, but she doesn’t really keep to traditions, so I don’t know all that much. Just the things she personally doesn’t like. Which, to be fair, seems like a lot when you get her started on a rant.”

He laughed and delicately took the silver cap back from you when you held it out to him. He slid it easily back into place and said, “You can ask me anything you like. I figured your friend didn’t like me much when she gave me the once-over at the fairground.”

“She’s protective of the people she cares for,” you said. “It’s the one orcish trait she hasn’t abandoned. That, and showing off her muscles for her girlfriend.” The heady atmosphere and the slight rush of adrenaline that was coursing through you from being so close to him at last was making you bold, and you spoke before you’d realised you might actually be insulting him, but Rhokann only laughed.

“Ahh, those traits are etched into our DNA,” he said. “You’re gonna have to go a long way to find an orc who isn’t protective, and who doesn’t like to show off just a little bit.”

You stared pointedly at his muscles beneath the white shirt and then looked him in the eye. “If you’ve got it, why not show it off a bit.”

“Only if it works…”

You cocked an eyebrow. “Can’t you tell?”

He leaned just a fraction closer and your heart skipped a beat or two as his big, brown eyes seemed to glow softly. “I’m getting some hints,” he purred. “You slipped through my fingers twice now,” he went on, bringing his hand up onto the table and laying it knuckle-down on the wooden surface between your empty glasses. “I’m not going to let a third time pass me by without a proper answer from you.”

“What’s the question?” you asked faintly.

He smiled. “Can I see you again after tonight?”

You nodded.

“You want to get out of here yet?”

Again, you nodded.

His smile returned, and you sat back in your seat while he hailed the server and paid for your drinks. He gave her a tip generous enough to make her blush, and then stood and looked down at you. “Ready?”

A third nod was all the answer you could muster, but he didn’t seem to think you rude.

He walked behind you this time as you led the way out, and when you stepped out into the balmy, end-of-summer evening, you heard him heave a huge sigh. Glancing back over your shoulder, you found him looking at you, and you flushed. “What?”

“I’m just glad I got the chance to see you again. I thought… I thought that was it when your friend bustled you away from me.”

“Why were you working there?” you asked bluntly. You wanted to know why he was working as a mechanic at a tiny garage on the edge of town too, if his family was so well-off, but you didn’t know him well enough to ask something so direct. “At the fair, I mean.”

He smiled. “I wanted to?” he shrugged. “I’ve always been the dutiful son — I went to a good university and got a respectable degree and got a sensible job, but I felt… choked.”

Rhokann sighed again and checked the street for traffic before gesturing with his hand for you to start crossing. You walked by his side as the pair of you headed towards the river, where a long, flat promenade stretched, and you listened to him talk. His beautiful, rumbling bass carried easily on the still evening, and it made you feel steady again amid the noise of the city behind you.

“I’m not on bad terms with my family or anything, but… after a close friend of mine passed last year, I decided that I was going to live my life on my terms, and not anyone else’s. My heritage is very important to me, but it’s not everything I am. My family doesn’t understand why I quit my career and got a summer job working at the fair of all places, or why I turned my love of cars and fixing things into a job as a mechanic.”

“If you’re happier now, that’s all that matters, right?” you said.

He grinned. “I’m happy tonight, that’s for sure.”

“You’re such a charmer.”

“If it works, right?” he chuckled. You got the impression there were depths to him that would slowly unravel to you over time, and you found yourself looking forward to it already.

“Yeah, it works,” you mumbled.

You walked along the embankment together for a while until his footsteps faltered and he asked, “Would you let me hold your hand?”

“Sure,” you smiled, hoping you didn't have sweaty palms.

His hands were rough and huge, but you made it work, and it was wonderful to have a physical connection with him after clicking over chat and drinks already.

In the lea of the oldest bridge that spanned the wide river, the two of you slowed and came to a natural halt to lean against the wall in easy silence, staring out at the water as it slid past in an inky, glittering ribbon.

Rhokann turned away from the view and the movement caught your attention, drawing your gaze up to his handsome face.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked in a hoarse murmur.

“Yes.”

Leaning down, Rhokann placed his palms on your jaw and angled your head gently upwards, but he didn’t kiss you right away. He bit his lower lip and although his eyes narrowed, you saw the way his pupils widened hungrily. “You’re stunning,” he exhaled. “I… I’ve wanted to kiss you all night.”

“Stop talking about it then, and do it,” you teased.

His eyes flashed and he closed the distance between you, hunching over and pressing his mouth against yours. His tusks framed your mouth beautifully, the silver caps nudging into your cheeks a little as he kissed you senseless. You’d never been kissed like that. His hands left your face and wandered down to your waist, where he tightened his grip and picked you up, setting you down on the wide, stone wall that bordered the river. At that height, it was much easier for him to reach you, and he stepped closer, parting your knees to stand even nearer to you. You hooked your lower legs around his hips and let him kiss you over and over until your body felt like it was on fire.

Your fingers found the intricate plait of the braids on the side of his head and he moaned when you ran your fingertips over the pattern. “I want you,” he said. “Not tonight if you don’t want it, but I need you to know I want you. However you’d like…”

“I want you too,” you breathed back in the scant space between you, foreheads touching. It felt more intimate than any words you’d ever spoken, but it also felt true.

Your hands moved to grip his huge, rounded shoulders and you squeezed before running your palms across his pecs. His chest heaved and he sounded out of breath when he said, “My place isn’t far from here. You want to come back to mine?”

You nodded.

He lifted you down and took a moment with his eyes closed to breathe carefully. In the light of a nearby street lamp, you could see the impressive tent in his trousers, and you bit back a smile.

“Told you I want you,” he said when he caught you looking. “Come on.”

Flattered and a little intimidated, you walked with him back to his apartment. It wasn’t anything showy like a penthouse overlooking the city, but it was in a nice part of town, and it felt secure and homely as you followed him into the lift. In a small rush of bravery, you placed your hand at the small of his back and you felt as much as heard the groan of pleasure he let out in the small confines of the elevator. His skin radiated heat through the fabric, and you splayed your fingers, feeling the solid muscle and the slight softness there too that made you ache inside and out for him.

By the time you got to his front door, he was taking deliberately steady breaths, but the moment you were inside, he lost a little of that composure. “I’d offer you a drink, or —” You silenced him by reaching up and pressing your thumb along his lip before drawing him down to kiss you again. Part of you wanted him to take you right there in the hallway, but you had hoped for something a little more comfortable.

Rhokann undressed you carefully but insistently, and between the front door and his stylish, modern bedroom you left a trail of your clothes and his, until you were both in only your underwear by the time you were standing beside his massive bed.

Dark sheets stretched neatly across its huge expanse, and he let you push him down to sit on the edge of the mattress, gazing up at you with his hands resting at your hips, thumbs drawing idle lines across the fabric of your underwear. The evidence of his arousal was obvious, and a darker wet patch had started to seep into the material at the tip of his cock.

His body was soft but strong in the kind of way that you’d always adored. His paunch was evident, but his arms were like anchor cables, and while he might not have had the lean look of a social media gym-junkie, he could outlast any of them in a show of strength.

“I never thanked you,” you said, reaching around to the back of his head for the plait that you’d wanted to feel in your hands since the first time you’d seen him.

“For what?” he asked breathlessly. His pupils were huge and the light reflected in his warm eyes like a cat’s in the dark. Desire swept through you in a heady rush.

Slowly, taking your time about it, you straddled his lap and sank yourself down to grind your hips decadently against his, and when his hard cock moved against your body, he let out a long, broken moan.

You tightened your hold on his braid and the sound he made would stay with you forever. The deep, guttural groan rumbled from his chest and his eyes rolled back behind fluttering eyelids. Beneath you, you felt his cock twitch.

“Please,” he gasped. His grip tightened on your hips and he shuddered like he was losing control of all his strength, fighting to keep from having his way with you. The jet earring dangling from his right ear glinted softly as it swayed like a tiny pendulum in the void between his earlobe and his shoulder.

“I never thanked you for taking such good care of me,” you said.

The orc responded exactly as you’d expected he would, and gave a throaty hum of pleasure.

“When I needed you, you protected me… got me out of there…”

You’d chosen your words very carefully, and Rhokann arched his spine, jutting his hips up and practically begging to fuck you without uttering a word.

You twisted his braid around your hand one more time and he tipped his head back, following the direction of the force you put on his head. The lick of red in his forelock looked perfect in the warm light of his bedroom, and you had been right about the orcish tattoos that covered his chest, right down to his hips. He also had the most delicious chest hair and the dark trail that ran down from his navel to the waistband of his tight boxer-briefs was gradually making you lose your mind.

“You were patient and understanding, and you didn’t mind that I didn’t have my words then,” you went on. “But I have them now, don’t I?”

“You do,” he choked. “You do. Please… Please…”

“Let me thank you properly then,” you said, and climbed carefully off his lap. You looked pointedly at his underwear and said, “Off.”

“Only if you do to,” he said, and you knew you’d met your counterpart in him.

He gave and took in equal measure, and as the two of you lost yourselves tangled in his sheets that night, you knew he was going to be the best thing that could have happened to you. The two of you moved in perfect synchrony, and you came apart within a heartbeat of each other. Rhokann made a mess of the sheets and you made more noise than you’d ever made coming in your life, and when the two of you lay back, sweaty and satiated at last, he wrapped his arm around you and pressed a kiss to your temple.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered.

“Thank the gods for third chances,” you smiled and he laughed quietly. “And meddling werewolves.”

“Indeed. Come here.” He tugged you against his body so that you were lying half-propped against him, with one arm draped over his soft middle, and you trailed your fingers up the centre of his chest. “You staying the night?”

You nodded, and hoped it would be the first of many.

__

I really hope you enjoyed this. If you did, and you made it all the way to the end, please consider showing your support by reblogging. It really is the best (and totally free!) way to help the artists and writers whose work you enjoy.

Masterlist | Ko-fi (tip jar)

[dr-spectre]

Guys, i wanna preach something to y'all.

If you really love a character and if they are really important to you, but you feel like a large majority of fans treat them poorly and they mischaracterise them. Don't be scared to talk about it.

PLEASE!

This is not even focused on Splatoon, no, this is just in general. If you genuinely love a character so much and they are treated in a way where you feel like it doesn't represent the character's true personality, events, arcs, etc, then speak up about it. Make a post on any social media platform or forum. Speak your peace, share your evidence, do what you can to say "hey guys. I think you should all take a second look at this character i really like! They have some cool stuff about them that not a lot of people talk about!"

I think a really great example of a character who's been really mischaracterised is Deadpool. In the comics he's a sad clown sort of guy where he hides his pain, suicidality and depression behind jokes and 4th wall breaks. He's a bad dude who tries his hardest to be a good person, but he fails over and over again and he doesn't believe he can ever be loved or respected. He's funny but he also has depth and layers which is so important to create an everlasting character. Or at least that's what I've heard he's like from comic fans. I haven't read the comics but i plan on to some day because I'm fascinated by his depth and i wanna experience that.

However in his first major solo appearance, which was the game, he was treated as only a loud mouth jokester who sees every woman he comes across as "awooga! boobies and ass!!!!" and all the depth and nuance is gone. Even though they had a comic writer who worked on Deadpool comics for years, he didn't fucking ATTEMPT to give the character any form of intrigue. Just... nothing. Only memes and pop culture references that'll become dated in 5 years.

And a lot of people think that's just who Deadpool is... That's how so many people got introduced to this character which caused misinformation to spread about him for so long... And that fucking sucks dude.

Thankfully the movies have some form of an emotional center with Wade and Vanessa's relationship and they give the character... SOMETHING!!!!! At least the comic fans seem to be pretty okay with movie Deadpool from my knowledge, which is good.

ANYWAYS! BACK TO SPLATOON!

Do you guys remember when Pearl and Marina used to be treated like this? Pearl as some big forehead joke of a character, while Marina was some bimbo with huge honkers and a giant waist.

Oh yeah, this was how they were treated for years. I remember it man, i fucking remember it all. I was there. Sorry to tell the new fans who joined from Splatoon 3. Even after Octo Expansion gave them detailed backstories and further explored their personalities, they were still mischaracterised as flanderised jokes and nothing more in the community.

But after people took the time to get to know these two, after people spent 7 years with them and discussed the interesting things about them online, they are now portrayed significantly better than how they used to be treated in the community and are celebrated as some of the best characters in the franchise. As they fucking deserve to be treated. Fans don't treat them as jokes anymore, casuals don't make tired old jokes anymore. Everyone loves these two now and for the right reasons.

And all it took was a small section of people to praise their best attributes and eventually overshadow the misinformation about them. Pearl is celebrated because she is genuinely a great character with a heart of gold and a want to care for the people around her. To make every day chaotic and to have fun with her CANONICAL GIRLFRIEND!

Marina is celebrated as a character who autistic people can look up to and find comfort in. AND THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME!!! AND IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENED! If no one bothered to look deeper at her character then maybe many peoples lives could have never been changed for the better... Isn't that crazy to think about?

If you can change one person's perspective on a character you love, and they feel that energy and they wanna help you share that energy with more people, then i think you've done something truly amazing. Eventually that shit is gonna spread further and further AND FURTHER!!!!!!

Remember when Shiver and Frye were treated as jokes similar to Pearl and Marina at the start of Splatoon 3? Frye with her big forehead jokes and people calling her ugly due to... well... i'm gonna make some wild accusations here but... there might be an undertone of racism when people call Frye ugly... like... i'm just saying... I'm scared of what these people think about Indian women in the real world... What views they share about them... Frye is inspired by Indian culture and by proxy, Indian women. I'm just saying...

And, of course, fans gooning over Shiver because god forbid a woman exposes her midriff and has curvy hips... ugh...

BUT THANKFULLY IT'S CHANGED NOW! Lots of people see Shiver as a silly yet fun character who has the potential for depth down the line, which people are excited to see. People adore Frye and love her personality and her family.

There are people out there who say that Frye is actually cute and beautiful, AND YOU KNOW WHAT!?? I FUCKING AGREE! If people didn't share their love and takes on Frye then maybe she wouldn't become my favourite Deep Cut member.

Now... To tie it all back to me, I'm seeing this change in perspective for a character.... with Callie Cuttlefish.

During the years 2017 to 2022, Callie was always mischaracterised as some airheaded idiot who ended up getting herself "kidnapped" and "brainwashed" and had to be saved as she was some stupid helpless victim. This was seen in official material and fan comics too. I remember it man, i really do. Hell it STILL happens till this day. That fucking summer 2024 Nintendo magazine? Jesus christ dude...

But now? That perspective is changing... Sure not everyone is gonna fully agree and there probably isn't gonna be massive change in official media, social media such as YouTube and twitter, and of course wikis. Not everyone is gonna know about what Callie is truly like and what she has truly gone through. But....

That's okay.

I really don't wanna come across as some sort of gatekeeping fan, i really hate those kinds of """fans""" so much. I just wanna educate and share my love for a comfort character of mine. Eventually the perspective shared by me and others will be spread to other social media platforms and many more people. Because that's how the internet works baby!!!!

The perspective that Callie was just a girl suffering from fame and loneliness, a girl who wanted an escape from it all, a girl who went under hypnosis to numb her pain and stay in the corruptive darkness she built up for so long, a girl who wanted to help her enemies rather than stay in her current life with a cousin who isn't there for her anymore... A girl who didn't need to be saved, but a girl who needed to be reminded of the good memories she had with her cousin, to remember what she truly stood for and the love she wants to share with everyone via music... A girl who just needed... a fresh start....

She was never kidnapped despite what official sources say... She was never brainwashed despite what they tell you... Callie had agency... Callie was suffering... Just in a more nuanced and fascinating way.

that perspective... is spreading and... I'm so happy about it...

Anyways, that's all i have for you guys. Please share your love for a character with others, share your unique perspectives to the world, you have a voice, USE IT! I DON'T CARE IF IT'LL REACH TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE! ONE THOUSAND! A HUNDRED! ONE PERSON! DON'T FUCKING MATTER!

USE YOUR VOICE! PLEASEEEE!!!!!!!!

[orphiclovers]

okay here's my actual orv sexuality headcanons (awful but I actually believe all of this. also this is just for fun don't @ me)

kim dokja - technically bisexual however way too emotionally repressed to connect with another person so functionally aroace. yearns sometimes but denies himself out of some self destructive need to suffer. Any fellas out there who repress their emotions KNOW that it absolutely ruins your love life and makes you undatable

han sooyoung - stra*ght 🤢 I'm so sorry. That one scene where she goes on the date with a random guy gave me SUCH a clear impression of the straight dating life. Finds guys on dating apps but never succeeds in a relationship because all the men are imature rich asshole types and she is too rough around the edges feminist with her own beliefs and doesn't bend or soften her personality for anyone. Asshole men don't like that in a woman. Friends say to just change herself but she ain't doing that so nothing works out (until two certain someones come and match her freak.)

yoo joonghyuk - into women who hurt him and himself exclusively. yes I'm fr I actually believe this. Only normal girlfriend he had was Seolhwa in 0th and that was very clearly a lavander marriage (and I'm saying that as someone not into joongdok. In 0th they could have just as easily written one pragaraph saying 'and as the years passed they fell in passionate love with each other, a sudden romance that did not fade' and I would have been like 'ok' but they did NOT do that. they said 'they were compatible' and 'their personallities matched' and 'they wanted to raise a hundred orphans together' <-all real btw. it SOUNDS like a marriage of convenience, and what's so bad about that?) Actually, lee seolhwa - very very aroace. and autistic (the beach episode arc bfffr)  only cares about her medicine and saving people and not much else. If someone is there who can support her she's like cool stay in my life. Likes the idea of marrying a gay man who's good with children (SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FR THATS THE DREAM!!) and growing old with him.

okay back to yoo joonghyuk - less funny answer is technically bisexual however not currently including men as an option due to trauma 😬 yikes sorry for that. anyway selfcest is the only exception, both actually himself and people who FEEL like himself including anna sooyoung dokja nirvana etc etc all the people he has canonical weird tension with. NOT SP, he doesn't like him very much and SP is very much in cringe unrequited love here. rip my guy

[gemharvest]

Okay hear me out (and I will forget I sent an ask in again 2 seconds later) RGB as crystal gems

PREFACING THIS ART WITH AN "I'm sorry I didn't lean more into the SU side of things" I am being so fr I don't wanna mess with trying to figure out more gem-like outfits for them so they're basically the same except with limited palettes and also gems. I don't think it's actually gonna matter to anyone but ANSJKNKDGJ if I don't open with that my brain will Explode. /lh

GO CRAZY GO STUPID AHHHHHH. GEMS. I'm going to have to put my bullet points under a read more just cuz I know I am about to fucking Go Off. grins

Girlfriend is a red diamond. Boyfriend is a peridot. Pico is a green spinel.

GIRLFRIEND:

Went with a diamond cuz of the status thing. I am almost worried it feels like too easy of a pull but I doonnn't care I think it'd be fun if she was a diamond. :) Red obviously because it's her color.

Playing off the status thing; ofc her parents would also be diamonds and so you can have the reasoning of "oh this isn't a high-rank gem" for them not liking Boyf. I mean if you need any reasoning aside from them just being unreasonable LOL but that's always there.

Placement on her chest because !! love !!!! That's also why it's a heart-shaped cut instead of a. Diamond shape.

My backup assignment for her would be a jasper because I think it'd suit her well to be any quartz, and with jasper you can get close to her reds !! The status thing is really what made me decide on a diamond tho.

As I type this I realize there are some vaaaguee similarities to Pink I could pull as extra reasoning but shruuuugs my brain is NOT in an analytical mood rn so I'll just let others chew on that for me.

This isn't really relevant to RGB but I wanna mention it: I think it'd be funny if the demon henchmen were rubies.

BOYFRIEND:

The biggest factor for me going peridot with him is the fact that a common headcanon for canon Peridot is that she's autistic and while I mostly work with ADHD Boyf myself (since that's the experience I can pull from personally)... I am a sucker for a good autistic/AuDHD read with him.

This man is short and Era 2 peridots are short. If I drew him SU style this guy would need limb enhancers. lol

Instead of a prohibition symbol his shirt has the outline of a star. I just find that neat. :)

He would sooooooo suck at a peridot's role but also iirc in canon he's a college drop out anyways so it cancels out. He's got that Greg Universe in him.

Honestly, I put his gem placement on the back of his hand bc I had no clue where else to put it. My secondary placement for it would be on his forehead bc it'd make me giggle with him being Dumb but canon Peridot already has the forehead placement so I didn't go ahead with that.

HE STOLE PICO'S GREEN SPOT. spritzing him with water like a naughty dog BAD BOYFRIEND.

PICO:

This is my little indulgent one I really. I really love canon Spinel. This is tangential but like I literally have 4 spinel OCs and then another 4 furry OCs with designs based on canon Spinel. The urge to make One Of Them a spinel was going to be there.

The juxtaposition of him being a gem with an entertainer role and also a hard-ass hitman makes me giggle. Idk I feel like if you already know canon Spinel then you can probably connect the dots as to why I'd imagine him as a spinel as well.

Heart cut because I find it cute and it matches GF. I think a spade shape could be fun too but idk I prefer just going with a heart. Placement on his upper back because. :) Because he can't easily shield it from damage that way. He has to be constantly aware of his surroundings, unless he wants to give someone the chance for an easy hit on him if they sneak up from behind. Little paranoia thing to fuck with him. I'm so nice to Pico !! :D

Bringing back the status thing with GF's parents; I can't help but giggle thinking abt them hiring him. Imagine you get recommended this really good hitman and you meet up and it's a fucking court jester. Fucking ego hit but DD needs the job done so he hires him anyways. AND THEN PICO DOESN'T EVEN CARRY OUT THE FUCKING HIT. Never hiring a clown off of Craigslist again. /JOKING

hits play on this and sits down with my head in my hands

OKAY BEFORE I'M DONE I WANNA MENTION: I made myself give them all gem assignments BUT I do think it would be fun if one of them was not a gem a la Greg and Rose. So I give you: regular canon demon GF and her two gem boyfriends. Takes a bow. (<- honestly might do something further with that for my own fun. teehee)

[imagining-in-the-margins]

hi!! do you have any fic recs for non-bau!reader x spencer? i’m not too picky just would love to read about navigating a domestic relationship with an agent while being entirely NOT in that field! so maybe something fluffy (but never opposed to smutty). thank you in advanced 🧚‍♀️

Hey friend! I've compiled most of my Civilian!Reader fics here, although I will say not a lot of them focus on the difficulties navigating the job. For that, you'll find the most luck with my two most popular series below. Otherwise, it's a somewhat eclectic group of fics, which I hope you can still enjoy ❤️

If anyone has any favorite fics that the anon might be interested in, please share them in the comments or reblogs! Self-promotion is always welcome!

S.R. Series (NSFW, 18+ MINORS DNI)

The Birds & The Bees (ongoing series): Prof!Spencer, Virgin!Reader. Reader interviews for a position as Dr. Spencer Reid’s Teaching Assistant, and Spencer learns something special about her.

Here to Misbehave (completed series): Spencer meets a girl he can’t get enough of at the nightclub, then quickly realizes she is not supposed to be there.

S.R. SFW Oneshots

Dead Air: Professor Reid is hesitant to be a guest on his old student’s true crime video series, but is surprised to find it’s not so bad.

Defining Family: Spencer finds out he’s a dad… to a twelve year old girl. Your twelve year old girl, who just broke into the FBI.

Devil’s Advocate: Spencer’s been hooking up with the defense attorney in secret. At some point what was purely physical turned into something else.

Fairytales: Spencer comes home to his very tired wife and even more tired child who refused to go to bed without a bedtime story from their dad.

Funny Thing Fate: Autistic!Reader is tipsy and lost in D.C. when she spots a man she thinks might be able to help.

Haunted: Spencer’s never told anyone what happened in prison.

Growing Pains: Spencer finds unfamiliar lingerie in the laundry. When he confronts his wife, he learns it belongs to their teenage daughter.

Intentions: Spencer’s teenage daughter wants to have a conversation with you about your intentions with her father.

It’s Personal: Reader reminds Spencer’s team that it’s never appropriate to ask someone for their age, even if they’re dating their coworker.

Java Jive: Spencer and Emily take a break at the local coffee shop and she makes an understandable mistake about barista Reader and Spencer’s relationship.

Kitten Love: Spencer’s vet begrudgingly agrees to an emergency house call.

Maddening One, My Goddess: Spencer has a one night stand… on February 13th. The next day, he is confronted with a familiar face on his pre-planned double date.

Not Your Backup: Spencer and JJ argue about her jealousy of his girlfriend.

Quid Pro Quo: Spencer is entranced by the law student in his class.

Rib Cage: Spencer realizes Reader is the one, but it might be too late. He has to find her.

Serendipitous: Spencer’s pretty sure Penelope mixed up his blind date.

Stranger Danger: Reader is a single mother having a very bad day.

Style Theory: Fashion student Reader meets their favorite scholar and teaches him a lesson in self-love.

The Perfect Plan: Reader has a question for Spencer, but things don’t go according to plan.

The Prodigy Path: At a parent teacher conference, Spencer and Reader explain their seemingly unorthodox parenting style.

S.R. SFW Blurbs

At Ease: Spencer comes home to his partner and finds them still asleep.

Birthday Wish: Spencer is sad he can’t reach you on his birthday.

Favorite Person: Reader just needs a little extra reassurance sometimes.

S.R. NSFW Oneshots (18+, MINORS DNI)

Big Bad Wolf (Part 1, Part 2): Spencer is overwhelmed by the apparent innocence of an elementary school teacher he meets on a case.

Blush: Spencer finds something surprising in his girlfriend’s sock drawer after he’s released from prison.

Cupid & Psyche: Reader and Spencer get kidnapped by a rather romantic matchmaking unsub who demands they perform for him.

Devil in the Backseat: Reader is a little too much (and Spencer's into it).

Get Lucky: It’s 3AM and a pipe burst in Reader’s apartment. She is soaked, angry, and forgot her wallet and phone. Her neighbor Spencer tries his best to make the night not terrible.

I Like It Like That: Spencer is jealous after a rowdy party.

Kiss ’n Tell: Reader gets drunk on a night out with the girls and accidentally mimics her boyfriend’s habit of oversharing.

My Boss’s Daughter: Spencer’s fling with his boss’s daughter is definitely going to get him fired.

Relief in Regrets: Spencer turns to his ex-girlfriend in a time of need.

Rewrapped: Reader tries to be cheeky, but regrets it a little too late to do anything about it.

Rodeo Show: Spencer and Reader weren’t planning on having an audience that morning.

Schrödinger’s Relationship (Part 1, Part 2): Reader finds out Spencer has been dating a kind and cute woman (when he’s not spending the night at her house).

Study Session: Spencer really hates his student, but he can’t resist her.

Vienna: Spencer is a bona fide 40-year-old virgin. After a few months of dating Reader, he finally decides he wants to change that.

Yellow Light: Everyone thinks Reader is dangerous. Probably because she’s Cat’s sister. But is that why Spencer likes her?

Happy reading!

[eldaryasharbinger]

MCL New Gen Ep. 3 Review

I finally finished the episode! I'll give a more generic opinion about it here and put all the spoilers below the cut!

I think it was really nice, I didn't check how many APs I used but I saw someone else mention that it's around 1200 APs which I think is fair! I was scared about it at first because I'm not sure if I'm the only one who noticed that, ususally, the first episodes are either shorted/cheaper and that new episodes that come out are much more expensive... I hope that won't happen!

The outfits are pretty cute, also I noticed that if you want to, you can unlock the other outfit you missed for 150 hearts! It's just to unlock it in the shop without having to replay the episode, you still have to purchase each piece separately but I think it's alright since the prices are really cheap!!

I don't really know what else to add and still be spoiler free, so now it's time for spoilers! you've been warned!

I'm so so happy with how they get Candy to react everytime... I love that she changes expressions accordingly and it's much more fun!! Also I think I screenshotted(?) almost all of Jason's scenes,, I'm sorry I'm just so down bad I kept giggling everytime he said anything,, I think that's why it took me a while to finish the episode lol...

Petronilla you're so real for that... Me too... (he awakens the goblin inside me...)

Honestly I really think that we should keep this in mind everytime he opens his mouth because it's actually so true... Also how are you so obsessed... Keep it going...

He wants to kiss her so bad I just know it... He's like that one kid that bullies you just because he's into you and doesn't know how to behave

"Little kitten"

...

I'm so done with this guy he's so shameless and I love him for that,,

The illustration is very pretty! He's so handsome why can't he just do a backflip off of Goldreamz's roof (He's so pretty sometimes it p*sses me off lmao)

I think I'll try to edit this one soon too!

I think it's pretty funny that she calls him that, yeah I can see how he's a loser... (I be calling him things just cause he's pretty and annoying I swear)

She's so... I'm so gay leave me alone,,,,,

ALSO ISTG she's going to be the end of me and my wallet, I can't help but always buy both her's and Jason's special scenes (I still haven't understood if you can get the illu's without buying the scenes... help,,) and on top of that of course I'll say that I'm going for Jason's route and then buy Amanda's illus because I can't live without it,, Beemoov let me be poly for once, Petronilla has two hands for a reason!! Either let us (Me and 'Nilla) have the same outfits for both Amanda and Jason so that I won't have to spend 350 extra gems or idk;;-;

The doomed yuri... The forbidden yuri... Petronilla you're so gay... Idk I think I can hear "I wanna be your girlfriend" by girl In red from miles away... We're so over ;A;

If I get the time I think I'll try to edit this one as well!! So so pretty!

I also wanted to mention this... Man he's just like me this guy is autistic as F**K I'm telling y'all... I relate to that so much, especially the fact that he apparently seems to be thinking in percentages as well (By that I mean that at least I tend to make my decisions based on calculations and such... That's why I like to joke about having a computer for brains lol)

Looks like Beemoov's writers did their homework on this guy cause if he's actually autistic-coded I think they did a great job! Autism is a spectrum in the end but I really resonate with how they're potraying it with Thomas! Kudos!

Last but not least... Jason's text after finishing the episode... I'm shipping Jason and Petronilla so hard,,,,,, I love the blue&pink contrast, they were made for each other your honor... If we add Amanda they can be the Bisexual flag together...

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Blaire Hopburn: My Favourite Character From My Least Favourite Piece of Media

So there's this webcomic called Lease Bound. It's set in Australia in 2017, and it follows Jaden and Riley, two lesbians forced to share an apartment after a mix-up with their leases (hence the title).

It was promoted as a lesbian love story, but it soon became pretty notorious for transphobia.

Jaden works as a bouncer for a female-only lesbian bar, and in Chapter 3, she refuses to let in three trans women, who don't take it well. The webcomic was heavily criticised for the way the trans women were drawn and how they behaved.

Years later, Lease Bound is still being updated regularly - in fact, Chapter 11 introduced a load of trans men and enby characters.

I've been following the updates for a while. The webcomic expresses a lot of views that I do not agree with - namely, that trans women are dangerous perverted men, and that trans men and enbies are either attention-seeking straight women or queer women too scared to question the "trans ideology cult".

And yet I keep coming back. It's partly out of morbid curiosity, to see what on Earth is going to happen next. But I think it's also because of one character I actually quite like.

Blaire Hopburn.

Blaire is Riley's bisexual girlfriend. She works at the same shop as Riley, in a slightly more senior position. She's also studying cosmetology at university and is part of its LGBTQIA+ club.

In a comic that's been so heavily criticised (and rightly so), what makes Blaire so appealing to me?

It's partly because of her personality. The Cast Page describes her as "a passionate, bubbly woman, who always strives to do what she believes is right… Even if not everyone else agrees." I generally like characters with those traits. I enjoy watching people who try to be good and make an effort to help others, but don't always do it in the best way.

And another reason I like Blaire is because I read her as autistic.

Blaire Hopburn: Accidentally Autistic?

Quite a few of Blaire's personality traits are things that I, as an autistic person, relate to a lot.

The author has described Blaire as, "So good at picking up when someone is upset, or not looking after themselves, so bad at reading the room regarding how to act." That could resonate with any autistic people who are high on empathy but low on social skills. You feel other people's pain, you want to help them, but you're not sure how. And what you try seems to make things worse.

This aspect of Blaire is present in Chapter 8, on Pages 2 and 3, when she and Jaden make conversation while erecting a bunk bed:

Blaire: So Jaden, is this your first move out of home? Jaden: I know it's a little later than most people... Blaire: Not judging! My 'rents insisted I stay home until I finish studying. Jaden: Oh nice. What are you studying? Blaire: Cosmetology! I tried early childcare and psychology too, but I couldn't handle that sort of selfless responsibility, haha! Jaden: Oh man, I feel that. My mum's in aged care, and takes care of my Nana now. I could not do what she does for a living, haha. Blaire: Do you think you took longer to move out because you felt guilty leaving your mum with your Nana? Jaden: How many years of psychology did you do...? Blaire: Sorry, that was a total guess! I didn't even last a full year!! Jaden: Could've fooled me, haha.

Thankfully, Jaden is nice enough to let that awkward moment pass, but she could have reacted to Blaire's psychoanalysis in a much worse way.

We also see Blaire being bad at socialising on Chapter 9 Page 17. Riley and Blaire have witnessed Jaden having an argument with her mum, and after her mum leaves, Blaire asks Jaden about it:

Blaire: Did you want to talk about what happened with your mum, Jaden? Riley: BLAIRE...! Jaden: Hey, it's okay. I have been a bit of a downer... Sorry. Riley: No, you don't have to apologise! Blaire: Yeah, it just sounded pretty upsetting. Jaden: You could say that, haha...

That feels very much like something a person would do when they sense something is wrong and zero in on one way of dealing with it. "Come on, let's talk about our feelings! A problem shared is a problem halved, right? Right?"

There's even a point in Chapter 8 where Blaire muses, "Sometimes it feels like Muddles [Riley's pet cat] is able to comfort Riley in ways that I just can't..." Can you imagine how galling it must feel, knowing that a pet, a creature that can't even speak English, is better at helping your girlfriend than you are?

Ouch.

In addition, Blaire's desire to learn about trans topics and be a good trans ally reads a lot like a special interest to me.

Especially the fact that she randomly brings up trans people in conversation, seemingly apropos nothing at all:

Blaire: Sorry I ditched you, babe. Auntie's keen for me to learn stock ordering. Riley: As long as you don't forget about me when you're a fully fledged store manager. Blaire: Never! So how'd the bunk end up treating you? Riley: Big upgrade from being on the floor. Blaire: And did Mudz approve? Riley: She was up there with me by morning. Blaire: Damn, that is good! Do you think Jaden could be trans?

That conversation with Riley had nothing to do with trans stuff, so Blaire's question is a bolt from the blue. I suspect the thought of Jaden being trans had been playing on Blaire's mind all day, and she was eager to grab the first chance to discuss it with someone.

She does something similar in a reply to an Anon question from when the author still had Tumblr:

Anon: Compared to others of her demographic, I gotta give Blaire props for dating a butch gal and treating her well. Blaire: Of course! Butches deserve nothing but love! And that goes DOUBLE for trans women!

Again, that Anon didn't mention trans people at all, but Blaire still brought them up. She was just itching to infodump about trans rights, I just know it.

But Blaire's connection to trans stuff leads to the issues I have with the way she's being written.

Blaire Hopburn: Pretty Problematic?

I really don't like how Blaire is currently being utilised in the story. Mainly because she's made out to be kind-of an idiot. She doesn't notice when she's making her girlfriend feel uncomfortable. And she's quite bad at picking up on social cues more generally.

This is demonstrated in Chapter 11 on Pages 31 and 32. Blaire is conversing with Violet, Jaden's coworker, about Violet's daughter Faith. The view Blaire expresses is the strawman argument often used against trans people and their allies - the supposition that we believe that not conforming to your expected gender norms means you must be trans.

Violet: Oh, and thanks for being patient with Faith. I know she's a bit of a handful! Blaire: It's like you said: they're just very passionate. Just not about dresses and skirts, huh?

Violet's response is interesting, as is Blaire's train of thought after the exchange:

Violet: NOPE! And I couldn't be happier! It makes buying HER clothes so much simpler! I hope SHE will steer clear of razors and makeup in HER teen years too, haha! Anyway, I best be getting my DAUGHTER to bed. See you at Ballroom Night! VROOM! Blaire: ... Blaire: (thinking) Dang it... It looks like Violet needs more help than I first thought... The sooner I get these [leaflets] to her the more time little Faith will have to choose what kind of body they want as an adult...!

Blaire didn't realise that Violet was emphasising the gendered ways to describe Faith because Violet already knows about trans stuff and rejects it. Instead, she just assumed Violet was ignorant and needed some educational leaflets.

(And Blaire also didn't notice the insult hidden in Violet's words. Blaire clearly shaves and wears makeup, so Violet was basically saying she hopes Faith doesn't turn out like Blaire. But Blaire has no reaction to that.)

Blaire is clearly not the best at detecting what people are implying. But that's being written in an exaggerated way, to satirise belief in "trans ideology" as stupid and in denial of reality.

It can almost feel as if Blaire is being portrayed as bad because of her autistic traits.

The author has addressed this in a comment on one of the bonus comic pages that came out after Chapter 11:

Important to keep in mind that none of the characters are written to be autistic. So Blaire isn’t being made into a villain or singled out for being autistic. In fact, a lot of her "social missteps" are a positive side to her character. Like she's pushy about gender nonsense, but she's also pushy when it comes to making sure her friends take care of themselves (making sure Jaden was getting her share of pancakes, pointing it out fully). She pushes because she cares. It has both positive and negative outcomes.

The trouble is, just because it wasn't the author's intention doesn't mean that's not how it looks. I know I'm not the only one who sees Blaire as autistic-coded.

And when Blaire's difficulties with social interaction are being played up in conversations about trans people, she isn't being written as a character. She's being used as a tool to poke fun at "the trans cult".

That's what annoys me about her portrayal. She isn't allowed to just be a character in a story - a nice, well-meaning but inexperienced girlfriend who happens to take an interest in trans rights. She has to be an extreme strawman of a trans ally, to push the author's anti-trans agenda.

Blaire Hopburn: Vicious Villain?

One of the webcomic's extra features is an "Actor AU", which includes this interview with Blaire's "actress":

Interviewer: Your character is quite controversial isn't she? Lots of people want her killed off and others are holding out hope for some sort of redemption. Which camp are you in, haha? Blaire's Actress: Neither. Interviewer: Oh...? Blaire's Actress: I actually like evil female characters. There's all these memes about deranged women, malicious women, heartless women... But when one does come along they want her removed or fundamentally changed before she's even spread her wings. Interviewer: Do you think fan opinion might change once Blaire ... takes flight? Blaire's Actress: I hope so. Realistically, both extreme camps will probably end up disappointed. But there's plenty of other great stuff to watch for. Will just have to burn the "Blaire bridge" when we come to it.

The funny thing is that the fans who comment on Lease Bound act as though Blaire is already a horrible person, but ... she really isn't?

At her worst, she's so focused on being a good trans ally that she neglects to check in with how others feel. But that's hardly "deranged" or "malicious" or "heartless", is it? Unless you already believe that supporting "trans ideology" makes you at least one of those things.

The closest thing I see to Blaire being villainous is in the first of the "When Riley Met Brick" bonus pages.

Blaire: Exploring your femininity in a non-traumatic way might help make things clearer too. Riley: O-okay. Blaire: Why don't we go dress shopping later this week, then? Riley: U-uh... I'm not really... They never feel good. Blaire: Cute plus-size options have come a long way in the last few years. It won't be frumpy like the stuff from your old congregation, I promise! Riley: O-okay... *** Blaire: Well, what do you think? Riley: It's... I feel like I can't breathe... Blaire: Huh? But it's so loose and flow-y... Do you need a bigger size? Riley: N-no, please, get it off. OFF! OFF!! Blaire: Riles! Hey, hey! Don't thrash like that, you'll rip it! Here' I'm untying it, see? Riley: ... Blaire: So, no tie-arounds, zippers or buttons... How about this one? You just pull it straight over your head! Riley: I can't... Please, no more... Blaire: Hmm... I think we need to talk to someone who has a bit more expertise than me, baby...

Blaire is forcing Riley to try on dresses and do something she's really uncomfortable with, until Riley is screaming and thrashing about. That does seem very, very bad. But I wonder if there's more to this than meets the eye.

Riley's backstory hasn't been shown in the webcomic yet, but the author has said that she grew up in a religious cult where she was only allowed to wear dresses, never trousers. Blaire presumably doesn't fully understand how bad Riley's past was, as she assumes the issue is with the style of the dresses Riley has tried so far.

In an extra cast reply (and it's debatable how canon it is), Blaire does seem to grasp that what Riley has gone through was traumatising:

Blaire: Riley's discomfort with femininity is from being forced into it as a kid. That doesn't mean she HATES girly stuff, she just has internalised misogyny to work through at her own pace!

Yes, Blaire is going about things in the wrong way. But ... she kind-of has a point? I certainly wouldn't call it "internalised misogyny", but it is trauma, and that needs addressing.

Not wanting to wear dresses isn't a problem, but the reason for it can be. Riley's discomfort is clearly rooted in pretty serious trauma, and she needs to be able to sit down with someone and work through that. Sadly, she's not yet confident enough to open up fully about it.

And even if she could, Blaire isn't the right person to do this with. Blaire did study psychology briefly at university, but she didn't last a full year. Her idea of helping Riley is taking her to see Brick, a non-binary person ... who's training to be a veterinary nurse, not a human therapist. Blaire is nowhere near qualified to give Riley the help she needs.

I don't see this as an evil trans ally preying on a poor little lesbian. I see this as two flawed women talking past each other, trying and failing to understand each other, ill-equipped to cope with each other's issues.

And then the other "villainous Blaire" moment is at the end of "When Riley Met Brick", as Blaire criticises Riley for the way she talks to Brick:

Riley: Maybe I'm just feeling a bit confused because I've never met a trans person befor- Brick: THAT is an assumption rooted in transphobic bias! Trans people aren't a monolith! You can't tell who's trans just by looking at them! Riley: Sorry, I didn't know...! Blaire: You know what they say about assuming babe... Riley: I swear I didn't mean to... Blaire: You need to choose your words with more care. Riley: Right... I'm really sorry...

The dark colours, Blaire's body language and ominous words, the top-down perspective on the scared-looking Riley ... this page is trying to make us see Blaire as in the wrong and Riley as her victim. We're meant to judge her for putting her zealousness for trans acceptance before her concern for her girlfriend's feelings.

That's the last time we've seen Blaire in the webcomic so far, but she's due to reappear in Chapter 13. It seems as though the author is planning to do something big with Blaire - something that will cement her as the villain of Lease Bound. But it hasn't happened yet. And I'm curious to see what it is.

I suspect it's something to do with Blaire being in a more senior position at Riley's workplace, as well as the fact that her aunt works there. There's a risk that Blaire could use her influence with her aunt to force Riley out of a job, after a major disagreement over trans rights or something.

But based on what we've seen so far in the webcomic, I can't picture Blaire doing something like that. She just doesn't seem like the kind of person to do something so extreme.

Basically, it's going to take a lot to convince me that Blaire Hopburn is an irredeemable monster.

TL;DR Lease Bound is massively problematic. The one bright spot for me is Blaire, the nice, eager-to-help, slightly autistic-coded bi lady. Unfortunately, she keeps being turned into a caricature to mock those who support trans rights, and that bothers me.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Maybe something with love quinn dating a really picky eater? Like EXTREMELY picky. Thqnk you <3

I decided to go with headcanons rather than a fic, I hope that's okay! (I'm autistic and have food sensitivity so this was so relatable haha) hope you like it <3

Love Quinn dating someone who's a really picky eater

Warnings: referenced eating disorders, I think that's it??

Love is a lot more observant than most people give her credit for, so I think she'd recognize your pickiness right away

Making other people food is her love language, so she'd probably invite you over to her place or maybe even Anavrin's kitchen as one of your first dates so she can find out what your favorite meals are and make them accordingly

You know how in the first episode of season two she took Joe to all those different food places in LA so she could make him the perfect roast chicken after? That's how dedicated she is to finding out what you like

She keeps a mental (or maybe even a physical) list of all the things you like and don't like, textures that bother you, what your safe foods are, what you're open to trying, what's completely off limits, ect.

If you're the type of person who always orders the same chicken tenders and fries off the kid's menu at any semi-fancy restaurant you go to, she's more than happy to order it for you if it makes you feel embarrassed (and she's not afraid to chew someone out for making you feel bad about your eating preferences)

She makes it her personal goal to make sure you eat something at least once a day, just to be sure you're getting the proper nutrients that you need. Love knows that some pickiness when it comes to food can stem from some type of eating disorder, so she always gently encourages you to at least eat something small even if you're not very hungry

If you feel better eating with another person, then she'll always take her lunch breaks with you so you guys can eat together. If you'd rather eat alone, she'll check in on you just to make sure you're okay but other than that will leave you be (and of course she makes you lunch everyday, what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn't?)

Even if you only eat the same five things on rotate, she still keeps the ingredients for said meals stocked up in her house so she can always have something that you'll want to eat (and if you ever fall out of interest with any of those things, no worries because she can just use the leftover products for Anavrin)

If you're ever having a day where nothing seems to strike your fancy, she'll take that as a challenge and makes it her personal mission to find at least one thing that'll spark your interest, even if the serving you eat is super small

No matter what your preferences are or what kind of struggles you may have with food, Love will always be understanding and supportive, doing whatever she can to make sure you always feel comfortable and safe with eating the food that she makes for you

End notes: this is kind of short but I hope you liked it regardless <3

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for breaking up with my autistic girlfriend?

so i (20m) met this girl (20f) on a dating app. she was really nice and i felt a real connection at first. the only red flag was that she was still watching sesame street at her big age.

it turns out she watched all muppet content in general and wanted to be a puppeteer. not as much of an issue, kind of endearing, but after several viewings of various muppet specials/movies it got annoying as hell.

she would constantly complain about trivial shit like how people “don’t hate the new kermit, they hate how the old kermit was fired” and would point out how nobody complains abt the count to prove her point ?? (personally i can’t tell the difference) and she would always point out obscure background muppets, and tell me who’s puppeteering which muppet while i pretended to care. always talking about who didn’t get enough attention, was underrated, etc.

even in regular conversation, when she saw something that reminded her of a muppet the conversation had to become about muppets. i got annoyed, but i felt bad because i know she’s autistic and they tend to have their fixations, but it was getting annoying.

i broke up with her last week. i didn’t tell her why this was, i bullshitted something else, she was really hurt but i was really having a hard time dealing with it. aita?

What are these acronyms?