#spider white imagine

[kaivenom]

Spider had a girlfriend who moved away (the reader) spider became more cold towards everyone, one day during school the reader shows up telling him she moved back and everyone gets to see the real spider ( gentle and sweet) the reader and spider end up getting back together and everyone is shocked

Smile again

Summary: you moved away years ago, while starting high school, but know after so much plead to your parents, they let you finish the year on your hometown, which revolt things on Hartley's.

Pariring: Spencer "Spider" White x reader

Warnings: a little bit of angst, mostly fluff

A/N: sorry for the waiting, now that exams are finally over (i hope) i could finally finish this, i hope the person that requested it likes it.

Masterlist

You were excited to come back to your home, seeing your old friends and especially your ex-boyfriend Spider. When you left, neither of you had a choice, you were much younger and couldn't make decisions right. Plus, being so young means that your relationship wasn't entiretly serious, but that doesn't mean your liking for him got smaller. Another plus, neither of you had a phone so you couldn't track each other.

You don't know what to expect, he would still like you?, he would want to try a relationship with you again?, what if he already has a girlfriend?

All that questions blurred your mind while you go to the high school, while you signed the papers of your registration and while you crossed the courtyard. The only thing that was able to snap you back into reality was the ring of the bell and all the students getting out of class.

You heard your name being called by several people, you were thankful they recognized you and seemed so happy to see you. Everyone started to hug you, it's incredible how you only lasted a couple of second in recognizing which person was everyone. They had changed a lot but the still had some features that help you identify them.

But still, you couldn't find the blonde, if he is still blonde, you thought. Suddently you recognized Ant, you yell at him to catch his attention but not only him turned around. Your eyes met a tall blonde boy, his eyes oppened dramatically once he saw you...once he recognized you.

Both of them started walking to you but the blonde went faster and run to you. His arms were big and felt like crushing you but his scent was familiar, he is Spider.

"(Y/N)!!! i can't believe you are back!!" his arms were still around you, his voice sounded excited to see you and that relieved you a little.

"I can't believe it either, i don't konw how you recognize me, we both changed a lot."

With that said, now he let you go, his face is clearly red from the comment and he now looks a little flustered.

"I can't believe you are so big and tall."

"I can believe you are still so tiny... but you look good."

"You do too," now you both are flustered, you needed to change the subject, "How is your life going?"

"Good, well, an idiot made a map and now we are on a extracurricular class named SLTs." you couldn't believe at started laughing like a maniac, inevitably Spider started laughing too, "oh god, i can't believe how much i missed your laugh."

And now you are flustered again, his eyes laid on you with an intensity you couldn't believe was possible. He oppened his mouth like he was about to tell you something but closed it again.

"It was good to get to know you again." you said trying to break the awkward silence.

"You didn't get to know the new me, we only talked to minutes." he said dramatically.

"Well, maybe we have to hang out and get to know each other again after so many years." he took a moment to think what to answer.

"Maybe we can also take things were we... left it." he was nervous that you were going to reject him but you couldn't me more happy.

"Yeah, of course, gladly, yeah.... i should probably shut up." his laugh pleased your ears again.

"Nah, i always liked when you are flustered... but maybe we should move."

His finger pointed to the crowd that has been watching you both all the time, how could you forgot they were there?

"I can't believe it, Spider is a total jerk, how could he suddently..." Darren made a mimic of Spider's laugh.

"I am surprised too, this is good for a study." then Quinny took out a notebook.

"When i can hug (Y/N) too? i am the only one who didn't gave her one."

Ant was clearly sad about the hugh, after all you called for him, not Spider. You gave Ant the hug he wanted and went back to the blonde.

"How about we go now?" he nodded at your suggest.

"You can go were i work and..."

"No," Spider shutted Darren down, "we won't be calm if we go there, right now i want to disappear from here, right?"

His hand moved next to yours, so clearly you accepted it and started running with him. You didn't know were he was taking you, but you were sure it will be amazing with his company.

[gray-warden]

I just realized I never posted photos of this really pretty harvestman i came across a while back. Note the green pedipalps and the dark and light spots on its back.

[j2hoes]

Foreign Exchanges. (Anthony Vaughn x Reader.)

Summary: Moving school in the middle of the year is never easy. Let alone from an entirely different country. Despite Y/N trying to garner the least amount of attention possible, she still manages to catch the eye of a certain brunette.

Word Count: 1.5k

Gif Not Mine . Requests are open!

Warnings: Mature language.

A/N: My first Ant fic and I’m debating making this a series but you’ll have to let me know what you think! Anyway just a short one to start us off but there’ll be more soon. Don’t forget requests are open!

“I’d like you all to offer a warm welcome to our new student Y/N Y/L/N, she’s moved here all the way from the UK! So let’s show her some of that Hartley spirit.” The teacher, who introduced herself as Jojo, announces to the class. All of them staring at me with blank stares. “Go ahead and say a few words.”

She nudges my shoulder gently before I can decline the offer. Encouraging smile on her face. There are no smiles from my classmates however, only bored faces who couldn’t be less interested in my arrival. For which I’m grateful. I’d seen this school on the news prior to my enrolment, I know these students are brutal. I mean, a sex map? Dad wasn’t too happy about sending me here though he didn’t really have a choice, no other schools were admitting students this late into the term.

“Um hi, I’m Y/N. It’s good to be here I guess.”

“Does anybody have any questions for Y/N?” Jojo offers, attempting to find a way for the class to get to me.

Numerous hands raise and I let out a groan internally. It’s bad enough that I’m stood at the front of the classroom like a new shiny toy but to now be subject to whatever ridiculous questions these teens can come up with is a new form of torture. One that I am really not looking forward to.

Jojo points to her first student, allowing them to be the first to ask. “Why don’t you have a proper British accent?” The girl seems genuinely curious, eyes focused on me as she combs her fingers through her orange hair. Stickers adorn her face along with colourful eyeshadow to match her bright outfit. She has a gentle aura surrounding her, which makes me relieved as I realise her question wasn’t meant in malice and more so pure interest. Maybe these kids won’t be so bad?

“Um, I think the accent you’re think of is the Queen’s English. There isn’t many people that talk like that really, maybe a few down south but I grew up in the North East. None of us talk posh.” I tell her, watching as she seems to take notes as I speak.

“Thank you Quinni, Spider what about you?” Jojo asks, pointing to the tall blonde that is hunched over at the back of the class.

His eyes flicker up to me, giving me the once over though he doesn’t seem too impressed by my presence.

“Yeah, what is it with you and all the other poms having bad teeth?” The boy pipes up, I notice the two boys next to him laugh. Though the one in the baggy outfit makes eye contact with me and a flash of guilt appears on his face.

“I don’t have bad teeth actually. Nobody I know does and to be perfectly honest, that stereotype is deeply rooted in classism and while the UK faces a major cost of living and wealth gap crisis, I don’t think it’s funny to joke about things like that. Do you?” I retort, causing h the pink haired girl and her friend to applaud my mini speech. Both offering cheers.

“Okay any more questions that aren’t going to cause arguments?” Jojo asks, a few hands lowering as they don’t want to get in trouble. “Yes, Amerie?”

“Do you miss home?”

“Yeah, yeah I really miss it.” I start, thinking of everything that I had to leave behind. I know this was the best decision for my family, but I do hold a slight resentment towards being here. “Don’t get me wrong, Sydney’s great and all, but I miss my friends, my house, my pets, I even miss the shitty pub from down the street.”

“Thank you Y/N, I feel like we’ve got to know you a little bit more now, so feel free to take a seat and we’ll get started.”

The only open seat is next to the girl that Jojo called Amerie. Smiling as I take my place, I open my notebook and begin to doodle swirls and other patterns across the page. Focusing on that rather than the subject being taught. It’s some form of sex education by the sounds of it. However, it seems very outdated and heteronormative. Nothing worth listening to anyway.

Upon hearing the bell ring, I begin to pack away my things and watch as a few students mutter things towards Amerie. “Map bitch.” “Cunt.” and “Crazy bitch.” Just to name a few. I realise that may be the reason she had nobody sat next to her and figure it may be best to avoid her if I want to stay under everybody’s radar.

Finding my locker, I begin to turn the lock with great difficulty. Back home, the numbers simply connect and the door clicks open, that doesn’t seem to be the case here though. Fiddling with the dial, I hear the bell signal the beginning of the next class and I huff, annoyed that I’m having this much trouble with a stupid locker.

As the hallways clears out, I continue to twist and pull at the lock. Bag dumped on the floor as I try with all my strength to pry the door open. With no such luck, I throw a quick kick to the locker beneath mine, leaving a dent in the door slightly. Slumping with my back again the metal, I find myself face to face with the boy in the baggy outfit.

Not previously noticing how cute he was, dark hair hidden beneath a beanie, a couple of curls escaping. Boyish grin plastered across his face and piercing brown eyes staring directly at me. I won’t even try to deny that Australia has one up on the Uk in terms of boys, they’re just so much cuter over here.

“What did the locker do to you?” He jokes, taking the slip of paper with the locker code out of my hand.

“Bloody thing won’t open.” I mumble, stepping out of the way as he demonstrates how to open it with ease. My cheeks tinged pink as I fear my outburst may have been unnecessary.

“I thought you Brits were supposed to be good at containing your emotions anyway.” He leans against the locker beside mine, watching me as I stuff countless books into the small space. Normally this would make me uncomfortable, yet there’s there’s something about him that makes me feel warm and calm.

“Nah we love our fair share of violence.” I tell him, smiling as I do so, remembering the amount of fights that used to take place on my estate daily. Providing free entertainment for all the neighbours. “We’re polite, but piss us off and we’ll knock you into next week.”

He laughs, folding his arms across his chest as I close the locker door. His eyes gaze over me as I turn to face him properly. Noticing the small cross necklace hanging from his neck, I can’t help but imagine what it would look like against his bare skin.

“You religious?” I ask, nodding towards the chain.

“Nah, I’m Ant.” He brushes off my question and tucks the necklace beneath his shirt. Clearly a touchy subject that perhaps I shouldn’t have brought up. So instead I attempt to lighten the mood.

“Ant?” The word escapes my mouth as a slight giggle, unable to hide the amusement his name brings. “And your mate’s called Spider?”

“Yeah, stupid right?” He chuckles, playing with the straps of his bag. Almost as if he’s nervous. “We’ve been best mates our entire lives. My real name’s Anthony but nobody calls me that. Same with Spider, his name’s Spencer. Kids started to call us Ant and Spider when we were like six, guess it just stuck.”

“That’s cute.”

Picking up my bag, I throw it over my shoulder. Figuring I should probably head to my next class despite being extremely late already.

“Hey, about Spider.” Ant reaches for my arm, clearly sensing that I’m about to leave. “I just wanted to apologise, he can be a bit of a dick but he’s a nice guy deep down.”

My arm tingles where he’s touching it, feeling the slightest of move of his fingers. As though my nerves are on fire. Suddenly hypersensitive to any little movement he makes. I know I shouldn’t be feeling things this intensely, hell, I’ve just met the guy. Yet he sparks an excitement in me that I haven’t felt in a while.

“Honestly it’s sound. You don’t need to apologise.” I assure him, offering a smile, I see his shoulders relax. “I can handle a prick like him any day.”

“Yeah you certainly shot him down quick.”

As he removes his hand from my arm, I’m quick to begin walking away. Cheesy grin on my face as I recall the interaction in my head despite it only happening seconds ago. I feel dizzy with excitement, my feet feel like they’re walking on clouds and I almost miss the shout from behind me as I go to turn the corner.

“Hey, do you wanna get high?”

[probably-writing-x]

Better For You

Spencer White x Reader

Summary: You knew Spencer outside of his ‘Spider’ persona. You knew the boy he was outside of the school crowd. But when the two worlds collide, will you see him for who he actually is?

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Alcohol, mentions of spiking, cursing

———

“Spencer White?” You glance up from the diary in front of you, “Starting today?”

The tall boy in front of you clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck, “Yeah, yeah, that’s me. You can call me Spider.”

You scrunch your nose at his request, “Yeah I’m not gonna do that.”

He scoffs, “Alright, and what do I call you?”

“(Y/n),” You respond, “It’s just us two today so I can show you the ropes.”

“Can’t be that hard right? Sell people tickets, serve popcorn, pour a few drinks?”

You stare at him with a black expression, evidently unimpressed.

He looks down at his feet and then back up to you, “Okay, where do I start?”

Spencer was about the same age as you, you assumed. Your boss had said he came across as ‘confident and enthusiastic’ in his interview but both of those things seemed a little uncertain now.

You’d been working at the movie theater for nearly a year now, your uncle knew the manager so you’d been a shoo in from the moment you were old enough to work. It was long hours, late days, annoying customers, but it earned you money and that was all it needed to do.

“Let’s start with popcorn.”

———

That was two months ago now. You now spent nearly every shift with Spencer. He made the long nights feel like they ended earlier. He snuck you free food, dealt with the annoying customers for you, sped around the screens quicker than you so you didn’t have to do as much cleaning. He took extra hours so he could work when you worked.

You’d learnt in that two months that he was working here after an argument with his mum where she told him he’d never worked a day in his life. He’d taken this job to prove her wrong. That was on one of your late night shifts after a midnight screening. It was just the two of you and he was evidently down, evidently in need of someone to talk to. He’d opened up to you. You’d told him that you were sorry, though you weren’t exactly sure what for. He’d laughed and told you that if his Mum saw him like this she’d tell him this wasn’t work.

He drove you home that night, same as every night. And he thanked you before you got out of the car. He didn’t tell you what for, just said ‘thank you”. He needed it more than you did.

Now, he had your number and you had his. And you texted when you weren’t at work together. He sent you songs he thought you’d like, mainly from rock bands he’d heard at a concert that weekend. You sent him films he should watch and he forced himself to watch them, giving you a running commentary with text updates every few minutes.

You spoke to him more than you spoke to your other friends. You told him things before you told them nowadays too. But you two never saw each other outside of work. Separate schools, separate lives.

“Here,” You hand him over a stack of medium cups to add to the supplies at the counter.

Spencer takes them from you, loading them up onto the pyramid of cups you’d been making. It was a quiet day.

“You know if these fall you’re picking them up,” You comment, handing him another two cups.

Spencer adds them too and steps back with his hands raised as if he’s going to catch it, “Yeah, yeah, I figured.”

You grin, both of you admiring your handiwork.

“So,” He steps back to lean against the machine behind him, “I had a question.”

“A question,” You repeat, “Mysterious.”

“I know we’re not working on Saturday. My mates are having a party at the weekend, it’s stupid really, like this graveyard thing,” He shakes his head, “I was just… would you… would you want to come?”

You frown a little, as if taken aback but not wanting to admit it, “Are you…”

“You don’t have to, it’s a stupid idea really, I don’t know why we-“

“Yeah, I’ll come,” You nod, “I’m not here, so I’ve got nothing else to do.”

He smiles, “Alright, well then it’s a date.”

“Is it?” You cock a brow, folding your arms over your chest.

“I-“ His cheeks turn a dark shade of pink, “Shut up.”

Spencer rolls his eyes and steps forward, collapsing down the pyramid of cups into stacks in front of him.

———

Spencer texts you the location and you walk there as the sun’s going down - a little later than he’d suggested so you didn’t look awkward and eager.

It’s eerie when you think of it - a clearing in a graveyard converted into a party location. There’s already a crowd building, a mismatched stack of alcohol at one side and a littering of people you didn’t recognise mingling around.

Why had you agreed to come? You didn’t know a single soul here beyond Spencer. And surely he had other friends he’d want to see? The thoughts of turning around and pretending to have never arrived start coursing through your head. Your feet come to a stop, as if you’re preparing to disappear back into the surroundings.

“There you are!”

And there he is.

Through the crowd, you spot the familiar sight of that blonde floppy hair. The way his face curls up into that signature smile. He’s holding a red solo cup in each of his hands, extending them wide as if hugging you through the air.

“Was starting to think you weren’t coming.”

“Yeah, I’m still not sure about the whole… graveyard thing.”

Spencer laughs, “Yeah you just need to drink enough so you don’t think about it.”

He hands one of the cups to you and you take a sip.

“Careful, they’re probably spiked,” A girl walks past the two of you, eying Spencer with evident disgust.

She’s got dark short hair and a brightly coloured jacket with a black dress and she looks at you as if shes worried about you.

“Fuck off Amerie,” Spencer snaps, rolling his eyes at her.

You glance up at him and back to her and she offers you a small smile like she’s trying to warn you of something. She walks off over to another group of people and Spencer turns back to you.

“What was tha-“

“Come on, I want to introduce you to some people,” He places a hand gently on the middle of your back as if guiding you through the crowd.

There’s a group of boys over the other side, shouting loudly at each other and making vulgar gestures to go alongside whatever conversation they were having.

“Oi dickheads,” Spencer calls over, “Be normal for a minute, ay?”

The boys stop and turn around, both of them looking at you and then back to their friend.

“This is (Y/n),” He looks down at you and then back to them.

“(Y/n)!” One of the boys grins widely, “We’ve heard a lot about you. You moved in by Spider right?”

“Wh-“

“This is Ant, and that’s Dusty,” Spencer gestures between the two of them before you can say anything else.

“Nice to meet you,” You smile softly, “You know Spencer from school?”

“Yeah, basically since we could walk,” Dusty smiles at you, “We can tell you all the gory details.”

“Alright, alright, I’m right here,” Spencer shakes his head, standing close enough to you that his side is against yours, his arm still placed on your back.

He’s got that way about him. The feeling that you could just melt into his connection. You couldn’t explain it, but in a crowd of people you didn’t know, you were glad he was still beside you.

———

“So how does the dunny situation work here?”

Spencer turns to you and laughs, the two of you now at the edge of the party as people had started dancing in the middle. It was dark now, and you were stood just inches closer to Spencer to make the most of his radiating warmth.

“You find a spot where nobody can see you, and you put in some squat training,” He smiles, the kind of smile that creases his eyes.

“Oh how glamorous,” You wiggle your brows, placing your cup into his hand, “I’ll be right back.”

His fingertips linger on yours as your hand pulls away from his, his eyes lingering on you for even longer as you walk away.

You trail out away from the crowd and down a small path away from any prying eyes until you bump into the sound of giggling girls just ahead of you.

“Oh shit, sorry, I was just looking for somewhere to piss,” You clear your throat.

“Hey, wait, wait, wait,” One of the girls looks over to you, “You’re the girl that Spider was with right?”

It was the girl from earlier. The one Spencer had told to fuck off.

“Yeah, I’m (Y/n),” You offer a smile.

The girl’s friend stands up and zips up her trousers, both of them walking closer to you.

“I don’t want to sound like a cunt, but just be careful with him,” The girl, Amerie says.

“Am,” The other girl hits her arm, “You’re going to scare the poor girl.”

You look at her and fold your arms around you as if shrinking away from them, evidently uncomfortable.

“He’s just…” The other girl begins, “Very outspoken. He’s not exactly the nicest guy at Hartley.”

“He’s a grade A cunt,” Amerie adds, “And you seem like way too good for him.”

“Alright, we’re gonna go before Amerie says anything worse,” The other girl confirms, “Have a good night yeah?”

They both walk past you and you stand stuck in your spot, repeating over everything they had said. Spencer had been the nicest boy ever since you’d known him. He was thoughtful and funny and he was who you looked forward to seeing every shift. But everyone here seemed to be talking about a different boy when it came to him. To the girls, he was like the worst guy they’d known. And why had he lied to the boys about how he knew you?

“(Y/n)?”

You turn in your spot to see him stood behind you, far enough away that you can only make out his silhouette in the dark.

“You’d been a while, I was just making sure you were okay,” He speaks so softly you feel your heart skip a little.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” You clear your throat, walking towards him.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Spencer offers, “I reckon the coppers will be here soon.”

“Yeah,” You smile at him lightly, “I’ll probably book an Uber-“

He holds his cup out towards you, “I’m not drinking. I’ll drive you home.”

Spencer tugs his jacket off from his shoulder and places it around yours his hand slipping down beside your arm until his hand is hovering beside yours. You interlock your hand with his and he smiles once more, like he’s relieved at the contact.

———

The drive back isn’t far, and the empty roads make it even quicker. Spencer still indicates every time he needs to, drives the limit rather than anything over, glances at you every so often to make sure you were okay in the passenger seat.

He pulls up in front of your house and shuts off the engine.

“So, will you be rushing back to a graveyard party any time soon?” He leans his head back against the headrest and turns it towards you.

“I think I’ll stick to the beach or a house party for now,” You nod, running your hands over the cold skin of your thighs.

Spencer laughs, “Yeah I-“

“Can I ask you something?” You interject, the thought practically spilling from your mind.

He frowns, nodding slightly.

“Why did the boys think I was your neighbour? Did you not tell them we worked together?”

Spencer swallows the lump in his throat, “I didn’t tell them about the job.”

You furrow your brows, “Is working at a movie theater really that bad?”

He lets out a deep breath, “It’s not that.”

There’s a stillness in the air between you. That sort of tension that he always managed to dissipate. He’s calm and yet the air seems to be full of all the nerves he could muster in your presence.

“I don’t really talk to them about anything with my Mum, or home, or anything. And I guess I figured if they knew about the job they’d start asking questions and it’s just… not something I tell people.”

“You told me.”

Spencer chuckles a little, “You’re easier to talk to.”

You smile at him and the tension in his shoulders seems to relax a little, “I guess I can pretend to be your neighbour next time.”

“Next time?” He raises his brows, “So you did like the graveyard.”

You laugh, your gaze averting to the darkness looming over your house, not a single light on.

“So, my parents are away,” You say quietly, like you’re now the one holding all of the nervous energy, “Do you want to… I mean you could…”

“Yeah.”

You laugh, unsure at what point in your time knowing him had it become so easy for Spencer to make you nervous.

———

He sits at the end of the bed whilst you get ready in the bathroom. You take off your makeup, wash your face, tie back your hair and change into your pyjamas. They were one of the cuter sets you owned - different to the normal baggy t-shirt you’d wear. But if there was ever a time to wear a nicer set, it was whilst Spencer would be the one you were sharing a bed with.

When you walk back in, he looks up from the book he had in his hands - one he’d taken from your nightstand.

“Didn’t think that would be your kind of thing,” You nod towards it, walking over to your side of the bed.

“Too many big words,” He smiles, setting it back down and shuffling backwards on the bed.

He was wearing only his t-shirt and boxers now - his other clothes folded in a pile on the chair in front of your vanity.

“Okay we’ve got a problem here,” You comment, looking down at him.

“What’s that?” He asks, swinging his legs around so that he’s sat at the side of the bed facing you, his knees bumping against your legs.

“This is my side of the bed,” You mention.

“Oh is it?” Spencer cocks a brow at you and you hum in response.

His hands reach out and gently brush the skin of your thigh, trailing upwards towards your waist as if drawing you towards him. You let him guide you, shifting until you are straddling his lap. Neither of you speak, Spencer’s hand moving around to hold your back, one remaining on your waist. Your breath catches in your throat, eyes focused on his like you’re seeking that comfort.

“Can I kiss you?” Spencer whispers, the words seeming to tumble from his lips.

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat, “Yes.”

The corners of his mouth upturn just slightly, his eyes flicking between your eyes and your lips. And then, he closes the gap just enough. His lips press against yours, soft and cautious but somehow so certain of themselves. His hand moves to cup your jaw, drawing more of you to him as his fingertips tangle into your hair. When he pulls away, his lips curl into a smile, forehead pressing against yours.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that,” He whispers, as if not wanting anything else to ruin the moment.

You laugh, leaning into him, “This is still my side.”

Spencer chuckles, holding one arm tightly around his waist to shuffle you both back across the mattress. He shifts to lay you down on one side of the bed before settling down on the side beside you, his arm outstretched to pull you into his chest. You can feel his heart beating against your ear and you’re relieved for a second he is sharing in the same adrenaline that you are.

His fingertips trail up and down your arm, the most delicate touch he could muster.

“I’m sorry I lied to the boys about you,” He speaks the words quietly into the air of the room.

You tilt your head upwards just enough that you can see his face, “We already spoke about this, you don’t have to-“

“Yeah but I didn’t apologise properly and I should do,” He nods, “It shouldn’t be your problem to have to lie to them too.”

“Would it really be so bad if they knew you had a job?”

Spencer shakes his head, tucking his other arm beneath his head on the pillow, “No, it wouldn’t. I just don’t like the thought of them knowing everything that goes on at home. It’s easier to go into school and act like none of that exists.”

You lean up onto your elbows and turn to face him, reaching up a hand to run through the hair falling at the side of his forehead, “Would it not be easier if you could talk to them about it?”

He wraps an arm around your waist, his eyes flitting between each of yours, “I don’t think I’d even know what to say.”

Spencer leans up just enough to kiss you again, gentle and fleeting.

He pulls you back down to his chest and tugs the blanket up over both of you. The pair of you stay there, like that in each other’s arms, until his breath starts to even out and he falls asleep - though, even then, his arms don’t loosen from around you.

———

Spider is back at school on Monday morning. He’d spent all of Sunday with you - waking up at your house, driving you both to work, and then taking you to dinner afterwards. It was the first time he’d ever woken up and instantly wanted to text someone, sending you a quick ‘good morning’ along with his complaints for not wanting to go to school today. He felt like a child with his first crush. Though, when he thought about it, maybe this was the first proper crush he’d had. No other girl had made him feel like this. And he’d savour it for as long as he could.

“Oi dickhead, are you listening?” Dusty interrupts his thoughts, the two of them walking towards the locker room to get changed.

“No,” Spider shrugs, “Do I need to be?”

“You missed a killer end to the party man,” Dusty points out, pushing the door open to where the rest of the boys already were, “I can’t believe you left early.”

“Oh come on I think Spider had other things on his mind,” Ant points out as soon as he overhears the conversation.

“Yeah who the fuck was that chick?”

“Does it matter? Either way Spider was going to fu-“

“Cut it out,” Spider snaps, to nobody in particular, just hoping for anything that would stop the topic of conversation.

“Aww is Spider precious about his latest conquest?” Ant frowns, “You’ll be onto the next one by this weekend.”

“Have you ever just thought of shutting up Ant?” Spider questions, reaching down to tie the laces of his trainers, “I mean, seriously, is it so hard to think (Y/n) might just be a good person? Someone I actually like hanging out with?”

“I don’t think that’s what they’re doubting,” It’s Malakai that speaks this time.

Spider looks at him, uncertain.

“If she’s a decent person, the last guy she should be around is you.”

For a moment, he feels the silence around him. The same tightness in his chest that he got at every dinner with his Mum. The same voice in his head telling him it was impossible for him to be good.

“Well,” He clears his throat, standing up from the bench, “Good thing I don’t need to listen to you cunts.”

When he walks out onto the field, the girls are already crowded around in conversations with each other. Spider walks over, crossing towards the opposite side of the field.

“Oi Spider!”

It’s Amerie that yells after him. He turns around to see her and Harper making their way over.

“You know we told that girl from the party to stay away from you,” Amerie states strongly, offering him her most judgemental look.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You might be able to put on an act for her but she deserves to know how shitty you are.”

“Are you kidding?” Spider scoffs, “You don’t even know her, why’s it your place to say anything?”

“We don’t know her,” Amerie shrugs, “But we know you. And no girl deserves that.”

He glances around at the rest of the people on the field, across to where the boys have just started filtering outside too. Not a single person here thought well of him. Even the boys, his friends, they saw him as the boy that said what they wouldn’t say. He was funny to them before he was good. He was someone to laugh at before he’d ever be someone to talk to. He’d become a show piece at this school. The controversial one that said what nobody else would.

“Ever thought that I might want to be a decent guy? That if I actually liked someone it’s genuine?” Spider shrugs, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Oh fuck off Spider, are you even capable of that?”

“Maybe.”

———

You’d been on Spider’s mind for the whole day. And, as soon as the final bell rang, all he could think of was getting to you.

It’s not a far drive, just the other side of town. But he speeds as if it’s some sort of last ditch attempt to get to you. He hadn’t thought to text, or ask where you were, or ask if you were free. He just knew he needed to get to you. And when he pulls up in front of your house, he realises this is as far as his thoughts had taken him, he wasn’t sure what that meant now.

He knocks on the door, harshly as if he’s channeling his nerves into the sound.

It’s not you on the other side. Instead, an older woman, bearing some resemblance to you in the brightness of her eyes.

“Hi, can I help you?” Her brows furrow but she smiles at him welcomingly, warmly.

“Um-“ He clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck, “I just-“

“Are you (Y/n)’s friend?”

Before he can respond, you come up behind the woman and grasp her shoulders, “I’ve got this one Mum.”

You glance to Spencer and smile, instantly relaxing the tension in his shoulders.

“It was nice to meet you,” Your Mum nods to him, turning to you and giving you some sort of knowing smile as if exchanging silent words.

You step out of the front door and pull it almost-closed behind you;

“What are you doing here Spencer?”

“You didn’t tell me what the girls said to you at the party.”

“I-“ You wrap your arms over your chest as a breeze courses past both of you, “I didn’t think it mattered.”

“Didn’t matter?” He half laughs, his shoulders dropping, “They practically told you to get as far away from me as you could.”

“Yeah. And that doesn’t mean I believed them.”

Spencer smiles at you just a little, but it falters quickly.

“Why do they hate you so much Spencer?”

He pauses, taking a deep breath as he looks at you like even the sight of you is enough to calm down all of the worry coursing through him.

“My whole life it’s just been me and my Mum. I didn’t have siblings, my Dad was never in the picture. And so I had this one person left that was meant to love me. You know? That was her job, right? She’s my Mum, she just needs to love me and we’d figure the rest out. My Mum treats me every day like I’m the worst guy on the planet. I’m a guy and she thinks that’s enough for me to be someone she should hate. To her, I’m destructive and thoughtless and I have all this potential do a world of wrong. She reminds me of that every day, with everything I do. She’s reminded me of it so much that I started to believe it. That’s the guy I am to them at school. That’s the guy they know. And I’d hate me too if I was them.”

You feel a lump forming in your throat, wanting to reach out for him and tell him everything he needed to hear. To heal all those years of hurt that sat on those young shoulders.

“I don’t want to be that guy when I’m with you.”

You feel it then. The way your heart skips a beat once more.

“I want to be better.”

Your face breaks into a small smile, an instinctive response.

“I believe you,” You practically whisper the words, “Everyone else might have a lot to say about you but I know the person that you are with me.”

You step forward towards him.

“And I don’t think that guys so bad.”

You watch as he visibly relaxes, grasping out for you as soon as you are within reach, his hands snaking around to your waist. Your hands move up to his chest, linking around the back of his neck.

“You deserve a chance to be better Spider,” You smile, reaching up onto the tips of your toes to press a kiss to his lips.

He hums against the contact, pulling away to say, “I prefer Spencer.”

You chuckle and he wraps his arms tighter around you, burying his head into the crook of your neck. He breathes in the scent of you in his arms, feeling his heart slow in your hold. He’s sure he could stay there forever. And you’re sure that you would let him.

[amphibiahawks321]

[Ava staring at something completely annoyed, Peter walks up next to her]

Ava : ......

Peter : Woah! What's got you so grumpy?

Ava : .....it's nothing

Peter : Yeaaaaah no one is gonna fall for that, did you actually sleep on the wrong side of the bed-

Ava : No... And it's still none of your concern... I'm fine...

Peter : Hey I'm just trying to help! You see i myself have been in the same situation like you before and–......Ooooooh

[Peter stares what's In front of him]

[Shows Y/N enthusiastically and energetically petting a white cat in his hands]

Peter : The irony huh?

Ava : I just don't understand I am literally RIGHT here

Peter : Yeah that's a shame... Let me handle this✨

[Peter starts walking towards Y/N making Ava panicked because she knows his probably gonna do something stupid]

Ava : Wait what!? Don't you–....Uuughh

[Peter walks up to Y/N and whispers something to him making Y/N gives the cat to Peter]

[Y/N walks up to Ava and puts both of his hand onto both of her cheek]

M!Reader : Chuckles because of a cat?

Ava : ......

[Ava placed her head onto his shoulder making Y/N immediately hugs her]

......

[Without Y/N noticing Ava and Peter gives each other thumbs up to one another]

[starlightdelrey]

heartbreak high navigation

PSA no minors allowed please!!!! there will be sensitive content and nsfw content explored in these fics!! i do not want to have to block anybody!

i write from a fem/nb pov only (sorry) and will not write for some characters (like chook), and i'm willing to write smut and sensitive topics - to a degree xx

to request, either comment, dm or leave an ask (also comment, dm or leave an ask to be added to the tag list) !!

romantic partners i'll write for include: spider, ant, malakai, missy, amarie, harper, (to be updated)

---

character x character

oneshots:

axe throwing - ant and harper (in which two of the hartley kids finally get a moment of peace together (or ant thinks he's gonna lose his arm))

more to come !

[szynkaaa]

I love that in the JTTW source material, Sun Wukong is never shown any romantic interest towards anyone and does occassionally make fun of Zhu Bajie and his escapades, but it's still very clear he loves the people aroud him. We love an aroace monkey king.

But I also really really really love that Black Myth Wukong adds their own twist and gave both Sun Wukong AND the Destined One (or rather his past reincarnation) love stories?? Sun Wukong has the tragedy going on with the White Bone Demon, he struck her three times to kill her (granted she did try to eat his master LOL), but he was never able to let her go and it is one of the many reasons why he wanted to leave buddahood behind and reject the celestial court.

With the Destined One, it is heavily implied in the game that the 4th spider sister was married to the previous Destined One (can I also add, excellent taste monkey, 10/10 I would marry her too), but obviously the prev Destined One carried on with his quest and well, probably never returned lol.

Anyway, I think it's a nice touch that each Destined One isn't just another reincarnation on a quest trying to become the new Sun Wukong, and that they can fall in love and get married too. The game doesn't tell us much about the Destined One's personality, with him being a silent protagonist so it's nice to see details like this.

[penguinsravioli]

Crush Confessions

❝⁺ ₊ ✦⋆ ｡ ˚chapter 1❝⁺ ₊ ✦⋆ ｡ ˚ Anthony Vaughn x Reader

“Well, shit.” I stare at the map while everyone crowds around it. Heaps for keeping my body count a secret. “Well damn (name), I didn’t know you got down like that ay?” Dusty nudges my side. I frown, I don't think my count is that high in my opinion, but I’d rather keep it on the low you know? This happened during holiday, me and Ant I mean. Didn't mean much to me because we were shit-faced.

But he’s been avoiding eye contact with me since I walked in. I think it's because he’s into Jesus and all that.

“Says here you went at it wiiiiithhhh, Ant and Missy huh? You enjoy getting a gobby?” I rolled my eyes. “Fuck off, cunt...” I shove Spider out of the way. Adjusting my jeans on the way down, they’re seriously starting to ride up my ass. When me and Missy went at it, I didn’t do anything with her. She did go down on me though.

To the gym, we all traveled for an assembly.  I sat down near the back, like 2 rows from. Which placed me behind Dusty, I messed with the charms on my acrylics, stoically staring at my feet when the gym silenced. I look up and see, Harper, with a full buzz. “Pack it up Eleven” Missy shouts. I hold in a chuckle. While Amerie frantically calls out her name. “Sit down Amerie,” Woodsy commands. Shortly after, she begins.

“I am a woke woman.” I sit up a bit straighter, curious on what’s about to come out of her mouth next. Woodsy is known to be a tight stuck-up bitch of a principle, I don't think she's that bad. She just… “I enjoy sex as much as the next person.” …has a way with her words is all.

“But reputation is everything and this map..has jeopardized your reputations” No fucking kidding woods. “And the reputation of our school. On the first day back, we are currently in the process of contacting all the parents of everyone on this map” 

Shit…shit shit shit shit shit- I am so fucked. Woodsy’s voice begins to lessen throughout my brain. “-and have strongly suggested that there are to be no more parties, shindigs, or gathos-” my mouth begins to dry up. What will my parents say? They’ve had the ‘talk’  with me but they're not really understating you know. “Oooi central link is losing her shit” Spider comments. “Shut up Spider..” Ant whispers. “Hey! Hey!-” There's Woodsy’s voice coming in again. My legs begin shaking “-Unsupervised parties equals alcohol. Alcohol equals poor choices. The risk-taking behaviors outlined on this map are unacceptable.” I sigh, lightly pulling at the end of my hair. Trying to calm myself down, I'm so gonna get my ass beat when I get home later. Woodsy ends her speech a bit later and we’re finally dismissed. Well, except Amerie. It must have been her. What a dog. 

Maths passes by excruciatingly slower than usual. I check my phone, no notifications. My legs begin to shake again, and the under of my boobs are sweating, how fun. I put my head on the table, I feel a headache coming up. I look at the clock. Thank GOD. I get up to use the bathroom as soon as the bell rings. I breathe in and out slowly. “You’re good man You're good, chill out” I attempt to calm myself down. When it finally works I walk out of the bathroom. Turn a corner and there in the gym, is Harper beating the shit out of Amerie.

“worldstar material?” I question, weaving myself into the crowd pulling out my phone to record. “Well shit, beat her ass then” I instigate. A small chuckle slips from my mouth when Amerie falls to the ground, Harper leaves, and Ameries nose is bleeding.

“Yikes..” I turn away. My ass is already grass when I get home. Let us not deepen the grave by being late to class.

“Oi (nickname), can we talk?” It’s Ant. I feel just as bad for him as me. I’ve met his mom, she's scary. “About? It seems to me you've talked a bunch” “Listen I’m sorry about it. I know you told me not to spill but Spider kept on prying because he saw us walk out of the bathroom.”  During holiday I had snuck out and went to a party that Sasha So invited me to. Now I don't drink, but I do occasionally take a hit. The last time I had gotten high I almost died of laughter, like so deadass. I'm a giggler, but this time I was dissociating.

—“Oi (nickname) you good? Ant looks at me. He’s a bit high, you can tell because usually when he’s hella high he acts like he doesn’t have a brain. “Yeah bruh, heaps”. We stare at each other for a moment and I begin giggling, he begins giggling too. “You know… you’re real cute when you’re not trying to be like spider and your group leader dusty” I turn my body towards him and get closer. I was wearing this cute skirt, it was pretty tight on me but it made my legs look quite nice. I had paired it with this cute black tube top as well. “Am I? I always thought I was a bit of a ripper” I giggle at his remark. My arms begin to wrap themselves around the base of his neck. “Wanna show me how much damage a ripper like you can cause?” He smirks, “sure mate” he puts his hands down my waist, dropping his arm to grab my hand as he leads me to the bathroom.—

I shake off the memory. “Listen, Um Anthony..” I think to try and find the right words to say. He lifts his head to reveal his puppy-like eyes. Ugh, what an asshole that boy is. “I don't really care anymore. But I think it would just be best if we forgot about it yeah?” His face seems to melt a bit with sadness. “Yeah Yeah, Of course. No biggie”

“Cool, Catch you later I guess” I begin to walk away from the sulking Ant. “Will the following students please meet at classroom 5D”

I continued walking, trying to get away from Ant, who was currently burning holes into my backside. “Amerie Wadia, Harer McLean, Sasha So, Missy Bekett, Dustin Reid, Spencer White, Anthony Vaughn—“ I whip my head around, and his face looks confused. “Well Shiiiit” I smirk his way, he rolls his eyes and adjusts his backpack straps beginning to walk the opposite way from me.

“(name) (lastname), Darren Rivers, Quinni Callegar-Jones, Douglas Piggott—“ He turns around. “HA!” I roll my eyes and follow him out the doors.

[moralina]

When Spider tries to protect you

Spencer "spider" white x reader

A/n: AH this is my introduction to the heartbreak high fandom! It's not a lot, but it's something <3

he said he was trying to defend your honor

“what honor?” you had asked in a condescending tone

truth be told, said honor had been thrown out the window the moment the incest map had been discovered

“we’re not even friends, and i wasn’t asking for your protection” you rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless

it was a timid, almost unoticible smile

but spider noticed

he just shrugged

“you’re bleeding.” you pointed to his nose “does it hurt?” 

instinctively you reached your right hand to inspect the damage

and as soon as the tip of your finger touched his nose he quickly swatted your hand away

“you’re gonna make it worse.” 

“well, can’t just stay with your nose like that”

“do you know first aid?”

“not exactly” you thought for a moment before finishing with “but i love hospital shows.”

the blank stare he gave you was almost comical

and you wanted to laugh

but you held it in because you had already smiled too much in spencer’s presence

“Then no.”

Let’s just say it took you long minutes of trying to convince him to let you inspect it

until you gave up and dragged him to the nurse room

when you got there she made ton of questions and you lied about all of them

You just wanted to forget what really happened

your boyfriend - and now ex - had called you a slut for cheating on him with his brother

but it wasn’t true

and you told him multiple times

multiple times

but apparently, in his opinion, the incest map was a more reliable font than you were

and when he called you that in front of all his friends on the gymnasium, just because you were chatting with spider - about some math sheet you were supposed to do with him - during his break, you wanted to cry

and spencer became extremely aware of it

apparently he was very aware of you, you just didn't know

so he did what he did

and yeah

you didn't ask for help

but you appreciated it

and he knows, even if you won't say it out loud

A/n: Thank you for the people that answered a post i did a while ago about Australian slang, but i was kinda scared of using it wrong and make it weird 😭 anyway, it'd help a lot if you guys liked and rebloged! Love you all and this dead fandom <3 (WE NEED MORE FICS)

[fandomnerd9602]

White Tiger, Ava, and Y/N, Spideypool, defeat Bullseye….

Bullseye: go ahead. kill me

Y/N: no we’re not gonna kill you

Ava: we’re not?

Y/N: no we’re taking you to the cops.

Y/N pulls out his web guns…

Y/N: web guns go!!

Blam! Blam! Blam! Bullseye slumps over dead…

Y/N: I really should label which guns are which

Ava: eh no big loss. Wanna grab tacos and make out?

Y/N: you read my mind!

[lewstherintelescope]

the closing scene of Beyond the Spider-Verse better be a flash forward to Gwen showing up at prom to find Miles waiting to give her the experience she never had with Peter or I will make very big hurt puppy eyes in the direction of Lord & Miller

[kaivenom]

Hey may I request a spider x fem reader where it's the map scene and I said something bad about the reader ( u can make it up ) and she has atusim like quinn and the reader runs away with quinn and Darren chasing after her and neither one can make her not cry anymore so they go to spider as he's the only one they know that can make calm down as he has a big soft spot for her like he has for ant please

In need for comfort

Summary: when the map is discovered, the actual girfriend of your ex tried to make you feel bad about it. Not knowing how to handle it, you run away from everyone, until some blonde appears.

Pairing: Spencer "Spider" White x autistic!reader

Warnings: sexual themes, mention of previous smut, mean people.

A/N: i will try to write an "autistic" reader but i don't know if i will do it well so please be kind. I will guide myself by Quinni's behaviour on some scenes.

Masterlist

Five minutes ago someone screamed about some incest map and everyone started a crazy race to see what was going on, you and your friends included. Once you get there, you discovered a wall full on names and connected with lines that defined the sexual act the two persons did. Fast enough you searched for your name, discovering it's only connected with one person. You sighted with relief knowing nobody speculates about your secret relationship with Spider.

The only person they connected you with was your ex-boyfriend. The gold line of sex and the green line of... your heart skipped a beat and you couldn't catch a breath, pressure on your chest building up. The green line is for anal, your cheeks are burning from embarrasment. Everyone is laughing, you don't know about who but it feels like it's about you.

"Wow, it looks like someone it's a little slut," you can't think straight, your vision starting to blurr as you look to the wall.

The voice that sounded on the background sounded like the new girlfriend of your ex, this can't be worse. The attetion it's starting to get officially into you.

"So, you let my boyfriend enter the back door." her voice sounded closer every second. "what a fucking slut, maybe that's why he dumped you." You feel like floating, expecting to fall every moment now, not being able to continue listening to the girl, which is closer every second.

People are around moving like ghosts to you. The air is escaping and entering your lungs faster that you can asimilate, it feels like you are about to fade out while the blood rushes at high speed thru your ears.

"(Y/N)," Darren's voice sounded distant.

You don't knwo how to handle breathing, seeing or feeling anymore, your legs started moving without warning, trying to get you out of there as faster as possible. Darren and Quinn's voice following you from behind, but you don't care, you only want to run from everyone.

You get to a hidden spot, nearby some trees. Your friends got there not so long before you, keeping the distance as you place your back on the wall trying to catch your breath. Uncontrollably, you started shaking your hands and moving you head in a poor attempt to shake everyhing outside your body.

"(Y/N)," there it is, Darren's voice again, you aren't able to speak now and they know.

Movemment around you, they left you alone?, that's strange, that's sad, you started to cry again, remembering all the people that left you because you were to "strange or "difficult to treat". You never expected that from Darren since they already had Quinn as a friend.

"Here she is, i can't do anything, she is not respondind, please, do something."

Darren's voice appeared on screen but with someone new, a familiar shadow formed in front of you. It's not touching you but somehow, it has a little calming effect on you, it's Spider.

"I don't know what to do, this is not my strong point, tell me what you need." you denied with your head, unable to speak, only going back to the wall.

He got next to you, but instead of hugging you, Spider sat on the bench next to both. You didn't even realized it was there, now you know you let your legs fade out and sit abruptly on the bench with him. Suddently, your favourite song started to sound on the background, apparently Spider put it on with his phone.

Your breath finally started to calm down a little, but your heart still races to fast for your pleassure. An object got in your view, an anti estress ball. You took it between your hands, brushing slightly Spider's hands in the process. Your fingers finally stopping to move around uncontrollably as you feel how wet your cheeks are from crying.

You didn't felt all that things before, but it's a good thing you are feeling them now, it's a sign that you are regaining control. You don't know how much time has passed, but the song played all the time and Spider didn't left your side.

"Are you better now?" his voice sounded more clear that has been the previous four times he asked you, maybe you are prepaerd to answer now.

"I think ... yes." the words are difficult to get out of your mouth.

His figure moved closer, sliding himself next to you, now your shoulders touching slightly. His hand moved slowly to your thight, which makes you shiver for a moment. HIs fingers don't stop moving to your leg, they only slow down, just to make time for you to adapt.

Now his touch is firm, moving up and down with confidence, making you feel better every second he is close to you. Finally, you found the courage to look at him, a smile forming on his lips seeing you finally.

"I am glad i didn't make you feel worse."

"I think... you would do that." speaking to him is still a little difficult.

He extended his hand to interlock your fingers together, kissing your knuckles in the most gentle way. You couldn't help but smile and giggle, now you kiss his cheek making him blush.

"At least they didn't catch us." you let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, you're right."

"And don't worry, i won't leave you like that idiot, i think you aren't too much... you are just the perfect amount to me."

[theshadowrealmitself]

Back to the Spiderman au I have where Peter has radioactive venom and accidentally bites Miles when the kid is trying to help him, and because he’s so full of guilt at accidentally doing this to the kid (especially in one of those universes where people absolutely hate the x-men and stuff, being mutated might ruin that person’s life), he takes him under his wing to teach him everything about his new powers and before he knows it, Miles is working alongside him as a new hero

For that au, I’m now thinking about that version of Peter trying to rescue Gwen, and in the end the only thing that can help her is for her to be turned, so he shares his venom, and to Peter it’s this incredibly horrible event where he’s dragged another person into this life of being mutated, but Miles, who is next to him and has never once been unhappy about gaining powers, is like “welcome to the web warriors!!! you’re one of us now!!! :D”

[j2hoes]

Eshay Baby. (Anthony Vaughn x Chook's Sister Reader)

Word Count: 5.8K

Y/N Cooper and Anthony Vaughn had a complicated relationship, which becomes even more complex following the reveal of the incest map.

WARNING: This work is not intended for those under the age of eighteen as it does have mature content. This story deals with alcohol, sexual content, drugs, explicit language, violence, death and triggering topics such as sexual assault and abuse.

A/N: I really hope you enjoy this fic as much as I do, I am a sucker for an ex's to lovers trope! This will be an ongoing series with each chapter correlating to a different episode! Love you! x

Fuck you Monday.

I am not a bad person. At least, I don’t believe I am. Research suggests that people become products of their environments, in fact, there’s an entire theory surrounding the self-fulfilling prophecy which suggests that if environmental factors such as the people and community surrounding you believe you will turn out a certain way, you will. It’s something to do with the phrase ‘if that’s what people think I am, then that’s what I will be.’ For as long as I’ve been alive, I have done my best to combat this. Not wanting to prove the countless social workers, mental health professionals, teachers and police correct. I am a good person.

My brother on the other hand, that’s slightly more complicated. He’s four years older than me, he understands and remembers more of our childhood than I do. It’s not something that we often talk about, him opting to avoid the subject entirely not wanting to reminisce on the past. His words not mine. I don’t blame him for this, nothing I can remember is positive. Being passed from one distant relative to the next, each being significantly worse than the last. Until one day we ended up at the home. I can only imagine what other horrors he may remember.

Hence why I stated it’s complicated, everything he does, he does for us. That’s the way it’s always been. Not once has he failed to protect me, agreeing to be my legal guardian the moment he turned eighteen in order to remove me from the clutches of any government mandated home. I’ll forever be grateful to him for that, and so I could never argue that he isn’t a selfless man. Not when it comes to family.

Others may disagree with me, believing he is cruel, callous and cold. Inherently evil is a term that has been used to describe him many times before. I’ll be the first to admit that there are times when I don’t agree with his actions. However, I don’t believe this defines him as a person. People are so complex and have many different layers that somebody cannot be defined by one small thing. So would I say he’s a good person? No, but I also wouldn’t say he’s a bad person. He’s just different.

“Your brother said to tell you he’s setting off in ten minutes so to make sure you’re ready.”

The soft voice at my doorway startles me, too focused on applying my lipgloss to notice the boy standing in the doorway. As I glance up at him through my mirror, I’m hit by the unmistakable stench of marijuana that seems to flood the room. My nose scrunches, slightly disgusted by the thought of my brother and his friends getting high in the living room at eight am on a monday morning. Continuing to apply multiple layers of the shimmery pink gloss, I notice the figure is still standing in my doorway, his back turned to me, stance appearing almost awkward as he scratches the back of his head nervously.

“Cash you can come in.”

He turns to face me, hesitantly stepping through the threshold into my bedroom with a small smile on his face. Closing the old wooden door behind him, only to almost be knocked out by the numerous bags I have hung up on the back of my door.

“That’s a lot of bags.” He comments, resulting in a small laugh from me due to him stating the obvious.

Beginning to gather my textbooks, notebooks and any other supplies I may need for school, I notice Cash standing silently simply observing my bedroom. It’s a stark contrast to the rest of the house. Walls painted a burnt amber with photos and posters plastered up anywhere I could reach. Crocheted blankets are thrown over every piece of furniture in the room and my window stays wide open, allowing the bright morning light to flood the room, the gentle breeze blowing just enough to allow a melodic hum to reverberate through my wind chime.

“Your bedroom is nice. It’s homely.” Cash tells me, waiting patiently as I continue to throw things into my bag.

“Not a chance in hell was I letting Chook decorate my bedroom with graffiti.” I laugh, throwing my chunky black cardigan over my shoulders before the eshay opens the door for me, being the gentleman that he is and allowing me to exit first. “There’s another spray paint to cover a skatepark in here as it is.”

My finger traces one of the many swirls of blue spray paint that lines the hallway as I speak, eliciting a chuckle from the boy that follows behind me. Entering the lounge, I find Jayden and Tilla sprawled out on the sofa, eyes glazed over and it’s clear that they’re both stoned out of their minds. Chook sits on the armchair that he’s claimed as his own, nobody else dares to sit there, knowing it’s his seat. He’s playing with the car keys in his hands, eyes fixed on the unconscious man laid out at his feet. Occasionally nudging him with his foot in an attempt to humor himself.

“Who’s that?” I question, capturing my brother’s attention for the first time since we set foot in the lounge.

“Fuck knows brah, couldn’t handle his drinks though clearly.”

With one last surprisingly gentle kick to the stomach, Chook rises from the chair. Ruffling my hair as he strolls past me and towards the front door, much to my annoyance. I sigh quietly, swiftly smoothing my hair down, to which Cash does his best to muffle his laugh as we follow my brother out the door. Stepping over yet another unconscious man as we leave the house.

Hartley High is only a twenty minute drive, most of which I spend in silence, trying my best to enjoy the drum and bass that erupts out of the speakers as we fly down the streets of Sydney. Chook was never one for following the speed limit, no matter how many times I lectured him on the importance of driving safely.

We pull into the car park outside of school with an ear piercing screech, slamming to a halt directly outside the gates, the unnecessary amount of noise causes many students to look in our direction. Many whispering to their friends as they gawk at us, I do my best to keep my head down as I clamber out of the vehicle. Embarrassed by the commotion Chook has caused.

“Don’t get expelled!” Chook yells out of the car window as Cash and I trudge reluctantly towards the quad. Not wanting to dignify him with a response, I simply throw my middle finger up behind me, hearing his raucous laughter followed by the screech of his tires on the asphalt once again.

“You reckon this year will be any better?” Cash inquires, knuckles white due to how tight he is clenching the strap of his fanny pack that is thrown over his shoulder. He’s nervous. Contrary to what people believe, Cash is a sweet boy. He’s so loving, caring, considerate and kind, he has a lot to offer the world we live in. Nobody seems to see this though. Believing Cash is a good for nothing eshay that will make nothing of himself upon leaving school, most likely following in the footsteps of his mother and ending up in prison. Even he himself believes this.

“I don’t know mate, maybe for you, I mean you technically don’t even need to be here. I don’t have a choice unfortunately.”

“Yeah but that just means you’re stuck with me for another year kiddo.”

“I am literally a year younger than you.” I sulk, giving him a gentle shove in order to express my annoyance. “Besides, you wouldn’t have screwed me if you saw me as a kid.”

Cash stops in his tracks completely, I smirk, pleased that I’ve rendered him completely speechless and offer him a quick wink from over my shoulder as he jogs to catch up to me. We agreed to never speak of it. A one night hook up when we were both heavily under the influence of certain illegal substances. My heart was in pieces following the breakdown of mine and a particular church going brunette’s secret relationship. If you could even call it a relationship, we never exactly labeled anything, nor made anything public. However, it felt as though my heart had shattered, I’d never experienced anything like that before. Not even the pain of my childhood compared to this.

One thing led to another and Cash and I were stumbling into bed together. Both of us knew it was wrong, Chook would kill Cash if he ever found out. Fortunately it only happened once and while I wouldn’t say that I regret it, it did definitely put a strain on our friendship for a while. Mostly due to him being terrified of me telling my brother.

Remembering the memory, I can’t help but smile to myself. Even if it was just for that one night, Cash made me feel whole again. Like I was worthy of finding love. The dopamine from the positive recollection seems to crash like a wave over my body, uplifting my mood drastically despite heading into what is ultimately prison for the next seven hours. That is until I catch a glimpse of the one person I was hoping to avoid completely for the next year.

Anthony Vaughn.

“Oi there’s a fully gacked sex map in the old stairwell.” Shouts from the redheaded girl catch my attention and I’m grateful to be provided a distraction. “It’s called the incest map!”

Students from all directions flock together in a sprint towards the old stairwell. The scene could be described as something out of a nature documentary when a pack of wild animals chase after their prey together. It’s wild and chaotic, completely undignified. So, with a quick glance at one another, Cash and I also follow the crowd, taking off in a run to identify what a ‘sex map’ truly is, and why it is so interesting that the entirety of our school is racing at full speed just to catch a glimpse.

I thank my lucky stars that I’m not claustrophobic when I eventually manage to squeeze my way through the horde of students. Names are scrawled in huge letters across the wall, each with different lines and symbols linking one to another. There’s a key chart to the left hand side and it’s safe to say nobody’s sexual endeavours were safe due to how graphic the key chart was.

The usual suspects are on the map, those who aren’t quiet about their partaking in hookup culture, such as Darren and Dusty. Those in relationships are also unsurprising, for example Missy and Sasha are of course linked, having only just recently broken up. Other names however do manage to shock me, for one I was not expecting to see Quinni’s name on the map, nor was I expecting Cash. Following the three lines connected to his name, it’s only then that I realize in bright red letters accompanied by a pair of devil horns, is my name.

Y/N - hooked up - Cash. Y/N - blowie - Spider. Y/N - fucked - Ant. Y/N - destined - Ant.

With each passing second it feels like my heart has stopped, secrets revealed to the world that were supposed to never see the light of day. How did anybody know about this? Sure, Spider may have blabbed about me giving him a blowjob, most likely bragging to his two best mates about it as though I’m his latest conquest. However, what happened between Cash and I, as well as Ant and I was meant to be kept quiet.

With trembling hands, I begin to anxiously scan the room, looking for any sign that somebody other than myself may have noticed my name. Catching the eye of the brunette, who stands timidly between Dusty and Spider, I discern that he is just as concerned as I am. Fearful of the consequences of this coming out.

“Yo Ant, you fucked the eshay’s sister? Nice one bro.” Dusty shouts, clapping his friend on the back which only leads to the red blush on his face to creep to an even deeper crimson.

“You got further with her than I ever did.” Spider comments, a mischievous smirk spread across his lips. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Ant simply lowers his head, eyes focusing on his shoes which appear to be a lot more interesting than the map in front of him. I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt that he won’t speak about us, but at the same time, I understand. With mates like his, I would want to keep things hidden from them too, especially if this is how they react. Not to mention his overly religious family upbringing and the overwhelming amount of shame he is afraid of bringing on his family.

“Hey, you okay?” Cash whispers, hand faintly grazing mine in a subtle attempt to offer his support.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Offering the mullet wearing boy a forced smile, trying to cover up the embarrassment of suddenly being the center of attention.

Continuing to stare at the map in disbelief, only the shouts of rowdy teenagers can be heard as they find more and more connections on the map that they hadn’t seen upon their first inspection. A few even run out in tears, the map ruining many people’s relationships, outing people and just causing pure humiliation for everybody that has their name scribbled across the wall.

“Hey, do you reckon if we ask real nice, Y/N will let us double dick her?” Spider asks Ant obnoxiously loud, nudging him as they both look over in my direction. Humorless expression evident on my face. “What, we’ve both already been there.”

Spider’s comment is directed to me, with him and Dusty both finding the utmost amusement in the entire situation. Ant, on the other hand, looks as though he wants the floor to swallow him whole, unable to make eye contact with me.

“Are you sure you’d be able to get it up? You and I both know how difficult it was for you last time and that was just for a blowie.” Without giving Spider a chance to respond, I’m pushing through the sea of teenagers, who are now staring eagle eyed between the blonde boy and myself. Invested in the very minor argument between us, a chorus of laughter can be heard at Spider’s expense. Even Dusty seems to take amusement in the mortification of his friend. As I brush past the trio, it’s hard to ignore the self-consciousness on their leader’s face. I can’t help but feel a small sense of pride, knowing that my comment really got under his skin. Eyes trailing over each of the guys, I notice that Ant is already looking at me, a regretful look on his face.

Unlike his two mates, Ant has always been the more caring of the three. Whilst still partaking, somewhat reluctantly, in the shenanigans that the other boys rope him into, he has always had more of a guilty consciousness. Often disclosing the amount of regret and guilt he felt due to some of their actions. Though, he made me swear that information to secrecy, not wanting the boys to view him as weaker. It’s one thing we regularly argued about, with him being unable to fathom the idea that having morals and a consciousness doesn’t make you any less of a man.

The deafening shrill of the school bell sounds whilst I stomp across the quad, alerting me of the fact that I should be headed towards the gym for the mandatory back to school assembly. Yet, I can’t bring myself to face it. Wanting to avoid Spider for a little while longer while I can in the hopes of steering clear of another confrontation. Half an hour into the new school year and I’m already wagging, what a great start.

Without turning to look back, I can hear the shuffle of feet as everybody begins to pile out of the old stairwell. Heading into the main school building, still, I tread on. Doing my best to sneak behind the science block and finding solace in the old dunnies that were closed off to students back in the nineties. Technically, nobody is supposed to be back here, I’m risking detention just by being here, though Cash and I continue to use it as a safe space to hide from the world whenever we need peace.

Rummaging through my bag, I’m quick to find the box of Marlboro Gold’s that I always keep stashed at the bottom, just on the odd occasion that I do feel the urge to smoke. It used to be a rare occurrence, these days, unfortunately it seems to be more of a recurring problem. I’ve hidden the habit from just about everyone in my life, not that Chook would care, he’s done far worse that I ever have. I just don't want people to perceive me as any less that they do now, I know smoking is a dirty horrible habit and yet I can’t seem to quit. So, as I spark my lighter, inhaling the toxic fumes, I begin to take comfort in the calm that fills my body from the lungs outward.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t think anyone was gonna be in here.”

My eyes sweep up from the ground, and if the baggy jeans and tie dyed jumper weren’t enough of a give away as to who stood before me the cross chain hanging from his neck certainly did. It’s the first time he’s actually spoken to me directly since the night everything came crumbling down eight weeks ago. When my eyes lock with his, I can’t help but take in his beauty as if it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him and before I can react the cigarette is falling out of my fingers.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

He points to the ciggie that is now beginning to burn out on the concrete floor. With an awkward laugh, I quickly pick it up, stubbing it out on the wall, humiliated that he caught me.

“I don’t really,” Playing with the ends of my hair as I desperately try to think of an excuse that doesn’t truly reveal the extent of my habit.

“Just needed to destress after this morning.”

“Yeah, crazy morning, right?” Ant asks, leaning against the doorframe as he attempts to make small talk with me. “Actually, do you have another one of those?”

With raised eyebrows I nod swiftly, pulling the pack out of my bag and offering them to him along with my lighter. He lights his and I do the same, after all I didn’t exactly get to finish the first one on account of dropping it on the ground.

“You wagging assembly too?”

My voice is quiet, unsure on whether he actually wants me to make conversation with him or he’d prefer to sit in silence. Despite my best attempts to not make it obvious, I watch as he takes a drag from the ciggie, allowing the smoke to delicately fall from his lips. It’s awkward not knowing where I stand with him, sure, what happened was a while ago now and I’d assumed we’d both moved on but that doesn’t make the entire situation any less awkward.

“Couldn’t face it, Spider and Dusty wouldn’t stop hounding me for all the details and I just needed some space.” Ant admits, picking at the skin around his fingers between drags.

“Oh right, I can leave if you want some space, I don’t mind.”

Grabbing my bag and hauling myself off the window ledge, I throw the end of my ciggie to the ground, ready to leave. That is until his hand grabs mine gently, his touch soft as I’m forced to stop and look at him.

“No, stay. You should stay.”

Ant offers me a small smile before letting go of my hand, the touch so fleeting and yet it still manages to make my heart flutter even just the tiniest bit. Sitting beside him on the cold, mucky floor, not minding the dirt if it means that Ant and I are one step closer to mending our friendship. Truthfully, I miss him. I miss him as a friend more so than anything. Our bond was one that you don’t find much in life, one that others struggle to comprehend.

“I owe you an apology.” His words catch me off guard, unaware that he felt the need to apologize to me, let alone, doing so on the first day back at school. Granted it hasn’t been any ordinary first day back. “I was a complete dickhead to you and you didn’t deserve it-”

“Ant you don’t need to explain yourself.”

“Nah, I do. I think I knew I couldn’t be the guy you deserved, and I got scared. It’s no excuse, I know that. Just believe me, I didn’t mean any of the stuff I said to you that night, I was so pissed, honestly, I hardly remember any of it. All I know is I woke up with the worst hangover of my life and you weren’t there.” He stops for a moment, collecting his thoughts with furrowed eyebrows, trying his best to put what he wants to say into words. “You weren’t there and then I saw the messages. Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t ever want to hurt you.”

He’s staring at me intently, eyes trying to find any glimmer of emotion on my face in an attempt to determine what I’m thinking. Opening my mouth to respond, I find myself rendered completely speechless. As I focus on Ant, I can see the worry in his eyes. Uneasy as to what I may have to say.

“Shit, sorry, I’m no good with words, I-”

“Stop talking Ant.” I mumble, putting an end to his rant before he can even properly begin. “Cheers for the apology, it means a lot.”

“Do you hate me?” The question is blurted out before he can stop himself. Shocking even himself judging by the way his widened followed by his head falling to his hands.

“I could never hate you. You should know that.” I tell him, his whole body instantly less tense as the relief floods through him. “I’ve actually really missed my friend. We should’ve never complicated things.”

I almost miss it, but there’s a flash of pain in the browns of his eyes as I say those last words, though he nods in agreement. The silence that follows is no longer awkward, instead it’s tranquil. Plainly embracing the warmth of the early morning sun in one another’s presence feels relaxing compared to the events that unfolded prior. Blissfully enjoying the reblossoming of our once torn apart friendship.

“If it isn’t Anthony Vaughn and Y/N Y/LN. You’ve not even been back a day and you’re already wagging.” Ms Woods’ tone is extremely unimpressed as she addresses us, evidently not happy that we’re getting into trouble this quickly. Ant and I can’t help but hold in matching mischievous grins. “My office now!”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So what were you and Ant doing in the dunnies together?” Cash mumbles the minute my brother is out of earshot and inside Harry’s diner, no doubt trying to chat up all the girls who are trying to eat their chippies in peace.

Slapping him straight in the chest, my eyes flicker towards the door of the diner, wary that Chook will pop out at any second and overhear our conversation. He feigns annoyance, dramatically throwing his hand up to his chest, acting as if I’ve just shot him.

“Oh my god, nothing!”

“I saw your names on the map Y/N, can you blame me for thinking you were trying to cop a root?”

“Shut the fuck up! Nothing happened okay?” I whisper as aggressively as I can, playing with the hem of my pinstripe mini dress in the hopes that I can distract myself from this conversation.

“I dunno, Amerie seemed to think you two were destined.”

“Who’s destined?”

Chook’s voice alarms me, head snapping up to spot the slightly older, male version of myself walking only mere feet away from Cash and I. His casual demeanor suggests he hasn’t overheard the rest of our conversation for which I’m thankful. Locking eyes with Cash, I shake my head in the subtlest way possible so he knows not to say a word. If Chook found out about the map, not only would I be dead, but Cash as well, so it’s in the best interest of both of us not to open our mouths about yesterday’s events.

“Spider and his imaginary girlfriend. That boy is gonna be in a serious relationship with his hand for the foreseeable future.” The lie slips off my tongue so easily that it’s rather concerning. Chook doesn’t question me, though why would he? I learned from the best.

“Sure. You prepared for the cemetery tonight kid?” Chook asks Cash, not even bothering to look up at him as he stashes the boot of the car with countless amounts of junk food he had just collected from Harry’s. “Thank god you stayed at school for another year, since this little bitch didn’t wanna take over as our connect.”

“My bad that I didn’t wanna be running around, pushing drugs for you for the rest of my school life.” I argue, Chook pulling faces as I speak in response. Deciding that this is an argument not worth having today, after all, it’s one we’ve had many times before.

“Yeah, all good brah.” Cash chimes in, answering Chook’s question to put an end to our petty argument before we can take it even further. Before we can get physically violent, even if it is only in a playful manner.

“You two best get going hey, maximize profit and all that.”

Cash doesn’t need any further instruction, hopping on his motorbike after passing me his fanny pack to store in the bag on the back. Something he always does in order to ensure that all his supply is kept perfectly safe while he drives. I’d consider it smart if I didn’t know it was drugs he was keeping safe. Chook jumps in his car, nodding in our direction as he flies out of the car park with Jayden and Tilla shouting out of the window at us. I can’t help but smile at their antics.

Cash offers me a hand on to the back of his bike, hiking my tiny dress up even further so that I can throw my leg over the vehicle. Wrapping my arms around his waist tightly, he watches in his mirror for me to nod before taking off. A habit he picked up when he first began to drive me around on what I like to call his ‘death trap’.

Dance music is belting from the many speakers when we arrive at the cemetery, a fire pit glowing in the middle of the makeshift dance floor as people crowd around it. The sun is already setting as we arrive, illuminating the party in a way that looks angelic. Upon reaching one of the many piles of drinks, it’s hard to notice Amerie dancing crazily, along with Darren, Quinni and Malachai. I point it out to Cash, the pair of us surprised that she has any friends left considering her actions.

Parting ways with the eshay I find taking a swig from one of the numerous vodka bottles before grabbing a bottle of bus, watching as Cash immediately begins to get to work, Sasha instantly running over to him the moment she spots him alone. Rolling my eyes, I plant myself further away from the party, sat with my back against one of the decrepit headstones.

I’ve always been more of an introvert. Opting to be a wallflower and observe rather than be the center of attention, unlike my fellow classmates who all seem to thrive when the spotlight is on them. I hate Amerie for forcing me into that spotlight.

Between sips of the slightly warm lager, I begin to roll myself a joint, figuring I may as well attempt to have a good time at the party. Even if it isn’t my ideal Tuesday night. I couldn’t let Cash come on his own though, not when he’s working for my brother.

“You are a bad girl Y/N Y/L/N.” Ant’s voice shouts from a short distance away, strolling towards me with a cheeky grin slapped across his face. “What is this? The second time I’ve caught you smoking now?”

“Right well I was just about to offer to share this with you but I guess not now.” I joke, lighting it up as Ant flops down beside me. “And technically, I haven’t even smoked this yet so you’ve only caught me once.”

“It totally counts!” Ant argues, waiting patiently as I take a couple of puffs before handing him the joint. “How’d your brother take it when he found out about the map?”

“You’re safe if that’s what you’re asking. I haven’t told him and he’s not the type of bloke that answers the phone when Woodsy rings.” He hands the joint back to me, fingers brushing mine tenderly. “Your mum?

“Not great. Amerie really fucked things up for me, I have to go to church three more times a week now, all because of one wristy and well you know.”

“Did you tell her the truth about us?” I inquire, wondering if he did come clean completely about our situationship of sorts.

“Nah, I told her it was just the once.” He admits, glancing at me sheepishly, almost embarrassed to recount the memory. “Figured that was better than telling her the truth. I may have also turned her that you were my girlfriend at the time, you know, to kind of make it better. Not that she approves of premarital sex or anything and I know we didn’t label what we were but it sounded better in the moment. I hope that’s okay.”

“Lying to your mother Anthony, that’s not very christian of you!” I gasp, to which he snatches the joint back out of my hand in retaliation, laughing along with me.

“Fuck yourself.” Ant chuckles, blowing the smoke directly in my face without any warning, causing me to descend into a fit of coughs.

“What’s the deal with you and Cash anyway? You two a thing now?” Ant’s not looking up at me when he speaks, all his attention fixated on the crowd of teenagers partying in the distance. Anxiously pulling blades of grass from the ground beneath me, I continue to gaze at him, a sigh falling from my lips as I had hoped he hadn’t noticed the line between Cash and my name. It was inevitable that it was going to come up, I had just hoped it would be something that people skirted around, not asking any direct questions.

“Nah.” The word is faint, shaking my head, my eyes fall on the boy in question, completely unaware that we are speaking about him as he stands in conversation with Darren. “We’re just mates.”

The boy nods besides me though I can tell he doesn’t truly believe me, still unable to look in my direction. Nudging him slightly, I give a small smile when he does hesitantly face me. “We hooked up once a few weeks ago, I was pretty much black out and he was just there. It was a fucking stupid decision.”

“Just mates though?” Ant asks, more of a rhetorical question, as if to reassure himself, much to my confusion as I can’t see why it would matter to him whether we were just mates or not. “Okay but who was better?”

Bloodshot eyes and a lazy smile indicate to me that the joint has hit him quicker than either of us expected. Warm blush present on his cheeks, his head tipped back against the headstone , gazing up at the stars that begin to light up the late summer skies.

“You’re so stoned.” I comment, completely dodging the question in the hopes that he’s too high to remember what he had even asked.

“Just like old times, yeah.”

Ant’s fingers brush over my hand just barely, the touch so slight that I wouldn’t have felt it had I not been looking in that direction. Thumb softly tracing circles across the back of my palm, skin feeling as though its been set alight with every small movement. Turning my head, I find Ant already staring at me, mouth curved upwards into a slight smile.

“I wish I never cooked it with you.”

Despite knowing that he is as high as a kite, his words still manage to catch me off guard. Forcing me to pull away, leaning back to take him in properly. From his somber expression to the deep intensity with which he looks at me, awaiting a reaction.

“Cops!” Before I can respond, shouts from the party grab my attention. Head spinning round to see the chaos unfolding, teenagers running in every direction, some scream, whilst others laugh. “Cops! The cops are coming!”

“Oh shit.”

Discarding the bottle I had been nursing, I hop to my feet within seconds, Ant, who now looks surprisingly sober, does the same. Without hesitation, he is grabbing my hand before we take off in a sprint, running in the opposite direction of the flashing lights and sirens that are rolling up to the gatho. As the crowds disperse, I find myself scanning through the seas of people, looking for a certain eshay that would get into a lot of trouble, should he be caught. “Where’s Cash?” Voice breathy, I force Ant and I to a halt, searching my entire field of vision for any sign of him, head spinning so fast that I’m shocked I didn’t give myself vertigo. “Ant, I can’t see him. Where’s Cash?”

“Y/N we need to go.”

With his free hand, Ant easily slides it around my waist, using all his strength to pry my feet from the pavement. Regardless of my unwillingness, I allow the boy to lead us away from the party. Not wanting to run the risk of getting caught, so instead I recite prayers in my head that Cash also hasn’t been caught.

Upon reaching the locked gate, Ant wastes no time in easily pushing me up so that I can scramble over the metal. He does so with ease, a proud display of his strength and it makes me blush. Reminiscing on the ways he used that strength before.

Running hand in hand down the noiseless streets of Sydney, I find myself giggling at tonight’s events. The prospect of an exciting, if slightly chaotic year eleven rises upon the horizon and I can’t help but display my enthusiasm at seeing where the next few months take me. (Hopefully, with Ant by my side, but nobody needs to know that.)

[probably-writing-x]

All The Firsts (Part 3)

Summary: So, could you write something about the reader being in her first relationship with spider (hbh) and her being worried about how she’s new at this?

Warnings: Drinking, mentions of drugs, cursing, some sexual references and hints but no actual smut (UNLESS THIS IS SOMETHING WE WANT IN PART 4????), mentions of anxiety

Word Count: 7.9k

Author’s Note: Okay I LOVE writing this series and I love the love i’m getting on it!! I’m already setting up for part 4 - please let me know what y’all want to see in that part and whether we’re wanting smut or not <3

“Alright, well, we’re going to leave before this gets any more awkward than it is,” Amerie grimaces, reaching for Harper and dragging her by the wrist to get out of the room.

Missy scoffs and mutters something incoherent under her breath before standing up from the bed and following the girls out of the door. Her eyes linger on Spider as she walks past and you feel your stomach turn.

He pushes into the room and the door shuts swiftly behind him, Spencer taking a spot on the bed opposite you where Missy had just been sat.

“What’s going on? Why are you upset?” He frowns, reaching out for your hands just as you draw them into you, folding your arms over your torso. His hands fall just in front of his lap, like he’s not sure where they should be if they’re not holding yours.

“I-“ You clear your throat, trying to stop the emotion from taking over.

This was Spencer. You could be annoyed at him. You’d done it before.

“What did you say to Missy about me when you two were dating?”

“Wh-“ He exhales, scanning your face as if wishing you would tell him more, ��What do you mean? I probably said a lot of things I-“

“About me,” You say abruptly, “What did you say to her about me?”

He visibly shifts at the change in your tone, like this is no longer him trying to comfort you and instead him trying to fix whatever damage he’d done.

“I said a lot of stuff about you, in fact, she got annoyed about me talking about you so much,” He half-laughs like he hopes it will brighten your spirits, “We argued about it, actually. About how I spoke about you too much.”

“And in that argument you told her that you felt sorry for me,” You bite through the words, feeling the same bubbling sickness rise through you, “You told her you’d never see me like that. And then you told her you feel fucking sorry for me. So is that what this is Spencer? Is this you just feeling fucking sorry for me?”

You stand up from the bed and try to fight back the tears brewing in your eyes, taking a deep breath to try to suppress any spilling emotion. Your back is to him now and it feels easier to deal with when you weren’t looking at those eyes.

“Sorry for you?” He breathes out, “Do you think that’s what I’m doing? That me kissing you was just some sort of pity party?”

You bite your lip to stop it from shaking, feeling the looming presence of him stood just two feet behind you.

“You think that when I kissed you, when I told you how long I’ve been waiting to do that, when I told you I want to be with you,” He steps forward, “You think all of that was just some fucked up version of charity?”

You glance upwards into the mirror over the sink in the bedroom and watch as he steps closer to you once more. His hand reaches forward and pulls down one of your arms, gently, letting your arm fall to the side before lacing his fingers with yours.

“(Y/n) you shouldn’t ever think that,” He clenches his jaw and unclenches it like he too is trying to stop himself from getting emotional.

“Then what did you say to her?” You half-whisper the words, letting out a shaky breath alongside them.

He guides you around to face him, his hand only momentarily leaving yours, “I told her that I wished you spent more time with us. I kept telling her how everyone would love you and nobody got to see it because you never came out with us, never came to parties, nothing. And when she asked me why I cared about you so much I just told her it was because I’d known you the longest. And when she got jealous I told her I’d never seen you like that. Not that I never would. And, in fact, I think that’s one of the few things I lied to her about. I’m not sure when I’d first seen you like this (Y/n) but it sure as hell wasn’t just last weekend, I just needed that weekend to wake me up to it, that’s all.”

You smile just a little and then look down from him like you’re ashamed to admit to it.

Spencer moves his hand to tilt your chin up to his, smiling down at you until his expression reflects on your own features, “It’s you, (Y/n). Nobody comes close.”

With that, he cups your cheeks into his hands and kisses you with the most gentle, sincere touch that he can muster. It’s sweet and soft and yet reminds you in his contact that he really meant the words, like a seal of approval.

“Please don’t let Missy upset you like that, okay?” Spencer sighs as he pulls away from you, “She’s just…”

“I know,” You say, leaning forward to rest your forehead on his chest, “I know.”

The pounding in your head seems to settle then, slowing against the beat of his heart. And you do believe him, of course you do. But part of you wanted to forget that anything with him and Missy had ever happened. You wanted to forget that they’d ever been together, that she ever knew the parts of him that you knew. You wanted to forget it all.

———

Later that night, Spencer tells you that everyone’s meeting outside for a bonfire. The teachers weren’t going to be there and Ant and some of the other boys had managed to get enough beers for everyone. You still didn’t feel one hundred percent after what had happened with Missy but the worst thing you could do would be to sit in the room knowing that she and everyone else was out. You wouldn’t be able to get the thought of the two of them out of your head.

Spencer holds your hand as you walk through to the clearing in the forest, everyone already mingling around the space. Your friends are sat huddled together on one side of your view - evidently uninterested in making small talk with everyone else there. They look over at you and down to where Spencer’s hand is in yours as if it’s the strangest thing they’ve seen. As if it still didn’t make sense. On the far side of the fire is all of Spencer’s friends, all of them loud and shouting at each other as one of them is downing a drink from a can. And on the other side, Harper, Amerie, Darren, Cash and Quinn. They’re chatting amongst themselves, all laughing at something Cash had just said.

“Come on, let’s get a drink,” Spencer encourages, squeezing your hand gently.

“Um, can I catch up with you in a minute? You can go see the boys,” You smile up at him, squeezing his hand back.

“Yeah, sure,” Spencer nods, letting your hand go as he goes to walk over to the guys.

He glances back, expecting to see you walking towards your friends but frowning a little when he sees you instead walk over to Harper’s group.

“Hey!”

You don’t even have to speak before they all part ways to let you into the group, Amerie and Harper smiling at you brightly as Harper greets you.

“You all know (Y/n), right?” Amerie looks at the rest of them, “She’s in our dorm this week.”

“Yeah we’ve got chemistry together, I think,” Cash mentions, “You’re the one that knows all the answers.”

You laugh, crossing your arms in front of you as if trying to shrink away from the overwhelming attention.

“I love your jacket, (Y/n), how opposed are you to sharing clothes with people you’ve just spoken to?” Darren smiles, taking a sip of their drink.

“Only a little opposed, maybe get a few drinks in me and ask me again,” You joke, trying to relax into their company.

“Okay, I’m only going to ask once,” Amerie squeezes your arm, “Is everything okay with you and Spider?”

You let out a deep breath, “Yeah, yeah I think so.”

You glance over your shoulder, over to where Spencer is stood chatting with his friends. He glances over at you too and his face seems to light up in the flicker of the bonfire flame when he sees your eyes on his. He frowns a little at the sight of the group you were stood with but you shrug a little and he smiles. You’re the one that looks away first.

“(Y/n) they’re getting a drink, do you want one too?” Quinn speaks up to ask you, smiling brightly.

You turn back to the group and smile, feeling a little more yourself around them.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see your old friends. It was just that something felt a little restricted with them now that they knew you were with Spencer. They weren’t outwardly judging you but you could tell there were conversations going on behind your back. Like they saw you as someone new now. Like you weren’t the person they’d known. And it worried you that they weren’t just happy to see you happy. Instead, they were watching on as if waiting for it to go wrong. Like this would all be something that they could laugh at you for in a years time. Do you remember that weird time when you started dating Spider?

“Come on (Y/n), what’s your drink of choice?” Amerie links her arm with yours and you feel yourself relax even more into the company of the group.

———

A little while later, the groups seem to be combining more so and you end up blended with the boys’ group as Ant comes to find Harper. Everyone settles onto makeshift log seats around the bonfire and you watch Spencer walk over to seek you out amongst the group.

“Do you mind if I sit here, Darren?” Spider asks, smiling awkwardly in a way you rarely saw from him.

Darren looks up and scrunches their face in disgust, “Why are you being like … polite?”

The boys laugh and all yell incoherent mumblings about Spider being a changed man. You look up at him and try to fight back the smile on your face, laughing a little at his evident discomfort.

“Look, if (Y/n)’s going to be a good influence, please god make the most of it,” Darren rolls their eyes at you, “But just warning you she’s way too good for you.”

Spencer scoffs and sits down beside you on the log, “Yeah, I’m well aware.”

You nudge at his side just gently as if ensuring that he knew that wasn’t true and Spencer rests an arm over your thigh, drawing you close to him.

“How’s your night been?” He asks you quietly, like he wants to preserve the conversation for only your ears.

“Good,” You smile softly, “I’ve had maybe… one too many drinks.”

He chuckles, brushing a lock of hair away from your face, “Are you cold?”

You shake your head, “Beer blanket.”

“Ahh,” Spider nods knowingly, “Well tell me when that wears off.”

You tap your cup against his in a cheers and avert your attention back to the group, everyone bustling in separate conversations as the last few stragglers join the circle. Your friends had already left, you hadn’t seen them go.

“Alright, truth or dare?” Ant suggests, cracking open another beer can and pouring half of it into his cup and half into Harper’s, “Unless anyone has any other suggestions?”

“How about never have i ever?” Missy cocks a brow, her attention seemingly focused completely on you as she speaks, though her eyes scan over everyone as if seeking out a reaction.

“Yeah, why not?” Spencer clears his throat, his arm still on your thigh, his fingertips brushing the bare skin of your legs.

You glance at him and he smiles at you, so strangely innocent compared to the venom that he seemed to inject into those words. You lean into him just a little more and he relaxes into your touch.

“Okay, never have I ever…” Sasha begins slowly, eyes scanning the circle, “Done shrooms.”

At least half of the circle all drink, Spencer taking a sip from his cup too. He rolls his eyes at the question. You remember him mentioning after the last school trip here that they’d all taken something. He’d told you all about it the week after.

“Never have I ever…” Ant begins this time, “Got with two people in the same night.”

You watch as a few people around the circle drink. Spencer doesn’t, instead just swirling the liquid around his cup in his free hand.

“Really?” You speak quietly, looking up at him with raised brows.

He laughs as he looks at you, “Yeah, you surprised?”

“No, no,” You shake your head, “Well, a little.”

“Not for lack of trying, right Spider?” Missy speaks up from over the circle, tilting her head as if examining the two of you.

“Cut it out, Missy,” Spider returns, taking another swig of his drink.

“Hey, (Y/n), you haven’t drank yet,” Missy points out, frowning exaggeratedly as if wanting to remind you that she meant it mockingly, “Let’s give you an easy one - Never have I ever… lost my virginity.”

You could easily lie. Take a sip of your drink and roll your eyes at her like it was nothing. But you think about it for a second too long. And, before you know it, it feels like everyone’s eyes are on you - waiting for you to take a sip.

“No drink? You can’t-“ Missy stops her words to laugh outwardly, “You’re not a virgin are you?”

“She doesn’t have to play your shitty little game,” Spider speaks up, his voice raised in the way he knew would make people listen, “How about you cut the bullshit, yeah?”

“Is there something your precious little girlfriend needs to tell us, Spider?” Missy pouts, “Or am I still the only girl you can get it up for?”

The group seems to wince in chorus, all murmuring under their breath words that you couldn’t hear. You don’t look at any of them, not sure where to place your eyes that wouldn’t make you instantly embarrassed. More so than you already felt.

“Stop being such a bitch Missy, seriously,” Amerie speaks up to defend you, “(Y/n) doesn’t need to get caught in the crossfire of whatever unresolved shit you and Spider have.”

“I’ll leave it if he answers the question,” Missy shrugs, “What will it be, Spider?”

It’s like the conversation is happening to you, like you’re powerless to respond, just watching it unfold. This was all too much. How had it got to this already?

“Go fuck yourself Missy,” Spencer spits the words at her, his jaw clenching, his arm unmoving from your thighs, “How about you worry about yourself rather than trying to ruin my relations-“

You stand up from the log quickly, the blood rushing to your head as you do, your heart pounding to keep up with your instinctive thoughts. You couldn’t hear this any longer. You couldn’t do this another minute. You had to get away. And your feet are hurrying you away before your mind has a chance to catch up.

There are the sounds of feet chasing after you and part of you wishes it won’t be Spider. You couldn’t deal with him just yet. He’d be angry and annoyed and he’d be talking about Missy. And he’d be trying to make you feel better by making her sound worse.

“(Y/n)!”

It’s Amerie that calls out to you and you stop in your tracks to turn around. Her and Harper were the ones following after you, smiling reassuringly when your eyes meet theirs.

“Good shit walking away,” Amerie grins, linking her arm with one of yours as Harper does the same on the other side of you, “I’d have swung for her.”

“Yeah don’t listen to Missy, trust me, she’s just trying to find shit to mess up,” Harper encourages, “Like seriously, she should’ve stopped talking before she���d even started.”

You laugh a little and continue the walk with them towards your cabin. The tension in your body seems to have relaxed walking alongside them, feeling like you had at least two people that were on your side. Two people that were rooting for you.

They walk with you all the way back to the room and then the three of you flop down onto your mattress on the bottom bunk, all leaning back against the wall in the squashed space.

“God, I’m starting to wish I’d never gone tonight,” You groan, resting your head back against the wall, closing your eyes to try to ease the drilling headache that hadn’t subsided.

“No, you know what? It’s good you went,” Amerie encourages, “Missy was going to be saying shit whether you were there or not and at least her seeing you with Spider should prove to her that he’s not hers to claim anymore.”

You nod, “Yeah, maybe. I’d just rather not be there when she’s saying all that shit about me.”

Harper laughs, “She’d talk shit about anyone Spider liked, you’re just getting caught in the crossfire between those two.”

“Yeah, right? What the hell is that?” You groan, “I feel like a spare part or something.”

“Those two hate each other these days,” Harper explains, “Ever since they broke up, maybe even before they broke up. Trouble is, I think part of Missy just hoped that would change. You being with Spider has just made her realise that might not be so possible anymore.”

“I never meant to get in the middle of anything like that,” You shake your head, “As far as I was aware they were fully over. Spencer didn’t tell me he was seeing anyone, that he liked anyone, nothing.”

“They are over,” Amerie reminds you, “Missy’s just going to do whatever she can to make this hell for you.”

“I’m starting to wish Spencer was still just the boy that drove me to school every morning,” You mumble the words like you don’t want to admit that they’re true, “It was so much easier when we were just friends, when I was invisible.”

“You like him, right?” Harper nudges your side and waits for you to nod in agreement, “Then that’s all you need to know.”

You go back to resting your head against the wall and the two girls lean in to rest their heads on your shoulders, trying to inject some of their confidence and reassurance into your uncertain nerves.

“Speaking of which…” You can practically feel Amerie’s face curl into a smile, “We’ve been dying to know the story with you two! Because, no offence girl, but you seriously surprised us all with that one. Spencer White?! How did it happen?”

You laugh and it feels like the first time you’ve spoken all day without feeling like something was restricting your throat. It’s the first time you’ve been able to talk about Spider without feeling like you were being judged for everything you said. The girls made you feel welcome, made you feel heard and seen and like you weren’t just an accessory on Spencer’s arm. They gasp when you tell them how he kissed you, and they joke that you must be thinking of a different guy when you tell them how sweet he is. Your heart swells when you talk about Spencer and your headache eases, relaxing into the idea that you could be with him and he could be with you and nothing else needed to matter.

It was a nicer feeling.

———

Missy didn’t sleep in your dorm last night. You assumed she’d gone to stay in one of the other girls’ rooms. Maybe with Sasha. Although your stomach churned when the nightmare scenario entered your mind that she had instead stayed with Spencer. You ignore it. He would never.

There was a text on your phone from him when you woke up.

Morning x Hope you slept okay <3

You smile and stuff your phone into the pocket of your cargos, wearing one of Spencer’s baggy t-shirts over the top that seemed to drown out your figure. It still smelt like him.

The girls walk down to breakfast with you and the canteen is already full of everyone getting their food. Some eyes fall on you as you walk into the room but it’s less judging this time - more sympathetic. Some of them even smile at you, like they’re trying to tell you they didn’t agree with what had happened last night. But none of them had stood up for you - like only now were they realising they probably should have.

You join the queue to get your food and drag the tray across the countertop, stopping every so often to pick up something else.

“Hey, the others are over there,” Harper points out to you as her and Amerie walk over to the table where Darren, Cash and Quinn were sat.

“Be there now,” You smile, pouring yourself a cup of water from a heavy plastic jug.

“(Y/n),” Its Spencer that comes up behind you, not reaching out to touch you but close enough that it seemed he wanted to.

“Morning,” You smile, “Sleep well?”

“Uh-“ He scratches the back of his neck, “Yeah, I did, did you?”

“Not bad,” You shrug, “I’m going to sit with Harper and Amerie, catch you after breakfast?”

“Wh-“ Spencer half laughs like he’s not sure what to do with himself, “Don’t you want to talk about last night? I mean, you seemed pretty mad when you walked off and I think I should at least explain myself and we-“

You lean up onto your tiptoes and press a quick kiss to his lips, the tray of your food bumping against both of you in the restricted space, “I’m starving, and we can chat later, yeah?”

Spencer looks at you and then looks over at the group waiting for you to sit down, “(Y/n) are you sure you’re okay?”

“Of course,” You smile, “See you in a bit.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to speak to Spencer. Maybe part of you just hoped that all of this would be forgotten if you just moved on from it. You wouldn’t have to feel that sickness in your stomach that came when you spoke about Missy. You wouldn’t have to admit how embarrassed you were to be caught in the middle of all of that. You wouldn’t have to tell him that you were worried he wasn’t over her. You could just be his girlfriend again. You two could go back to how you were and Missy wouldn’t be so much as a mention in your conversations. That felt easier. Maybe it wasn’t the best way of dealing with things, but it’s what felt right for now.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Darren asks as you sit down with a bright smile as if reassuring you.

“I’m okay,” You nod, “Kind of ready for this trip to be over if I’m honest.”

“You and me both,” Cash laughs.

———

Today, you had to do some sort of orientation task through the forest. The group trudged through the beaten path through the trees as your teacher rattled on about the importance of staying together and listening to the instructions clearly. You were sure everyone had stopped listening a while back.

“(Y/n), you can come with us!” Harper encourages you, “Promise to not let you get lost.”

You laugh, “Yeah, I’ll do the same. Thanks girls.”

The two of them seemed to have taken you under their wing instantly. Like they saw you were swimming out of your depth and both threw you a life jacket.

“So, you’re smart at like everything else, how are you at reading a map?” Amerie asks.

“Hate to burst your bubble girls-“ It’s Spider speaking from beside you, his head lowering to your shoulder so that his words were spoken directly next to you, “But (Y/n)’s with me.”

“Yeah, she’ll never make it out here if that’s the case,” Amerie scoffs, folding her arms over her chest.

Spencer rests an arm over your shoulders and glances down at you before looking back to the other two, “No, I wouldn’t make it out of here. She’s my only hope.”

“Surprised Missy isn’t rushing after you to team up,” Harper cocks her head, “She can’t seem to get enough of you.”

You look up at Spencer and watch as he narrows his eyes at the girls, like he’s assessing how much he can say without annoying them further.

“I hope she does get lost out here,” He states clearly, “It would do us all a favour.”

“Hmm, he almost sounds like he means it (Y/n),” Amerie smiles at you, “Just shout if you need us, we’ll rescue you if he can’t.”

With that, they leave the both of you to it and Spencer tightens his arm around you, drawing you into his chest. You groan as your head collides with him, his other arm wraps around you too.

“Ready to get lost in the forest?” He asks you, his chin resting on top of your head.

You pull away just enough that you can look up to him, “Didn’t the boys want to go with you?”

“Yeah,” Spencer shrugs, “And I wanted to go with you.”

You take the map from his hands as the other pairs seem to scatter off amongst the trees, all eyeing up different directions.

“We don’t need that,” Spencer takes it back from you, stuffing it into his back pocket, “Come on.”

“Wh-“ You stumble to keep up with him as he laces his fingers with yours, leading you through the dense trees, “Spec where are we going? We’re meant to-“

“Oh they won’t miss us, I’ll make sure we’re back by the time they notice we’re gone,” He encourages, looping your interlocked hands over your head so that his arm now sat back around your shoulders too.

For a short while, the two of you walk together. His arm stays around you, your fingers still interlocked with his. The noise of the other students starts to drown out the further away you get and it seems somewhat poetic to the bigger picture - when you and Spencer were together it still felt like nothing else mattered. Like no other stories and no other gossip could get in the way. You fell back into the reasons your heart swelled the way it did when he first kissed you.

“So, are you going to talk to me now?” Spencer nudges your side just a little.

“Wh-“ You look up at him, “What are you talking about? I’m not not talking to you.”

“You’re talking to me, but not about what we should be talking about,” Spencer points out, directing the two of you towards a rock overlooking where the trees start to dip downhill.

The two of you sit down and both of your hands return to yourselves. Like you’re somewhat shy around each other.

“There really is nothing to talk about, Spence, I don’t know what there is to say.”

“There’s plenty to say!” He half-laughs, “You’re telling me from all of last night there’s nothing you want to say?”

“I don’t-“ You stop yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat, “It hasn’t even been a week Spencer, I don’t want us to argue, okay?”

“Hey,” His voice softens, shifting so that he is looking more directly at you, “We’re not arguing. I just need you to talk to me about how you felt last night.”

“You just… you have this thing with Missy. Like you two can’t be in the same room without it being obvious. Like, okay, imagine two magnets. And they’re both North magnets so they just repel each other. They’re not joined but they’re still magnetic. So they’re repelling but there’s still something in that - something connecting them, tying them to each other. That’s how it feels seeing you and Missy. I know you two aren’t together, I know you don’t want to be with her. But there’s just this thing between you two. And I saw you last night and just thought … I’m not her, and I can’t be her. I’m not confident like she is, I’m not going to yell at you or have a screaming match with you. I don’t want any of that.”

“And you think that’s what I want?” Spencer frowns sincerely like a realisation is dawning on him, “(Y/n), there’s a reason that Missy and I aren’t together, okay? There’s a reason that relationship ended, there’s a lot of reasons. I don’t want you to be a replacement for her. In fact, that’s the exact opposite of what I want. This thing between me and Missy it’s just… it’s exes. We hate each other, that’s never really going to change.”

“But I don’t…” You feel your voice crack, your bottom lip trembling, “I don’t have any of that. I don’t know what it’s like. And I just… I’m worried I can’t be enough for you.”

“Enough for me?” He says the words like they’re venom on his tongue, like it convulses his stomach to even think of questioning that, “(Y/n) how can I prove to you that you are?”

You shake your head as two tears spill from your eyes, trailing slowly down your cheeks.

“Okay,” Spencer takes a deep breath and reaches out to take your hand, “Yes, me and Missy dated, she’s my ex. It wasn’t the best breakup and ever since we’ve just argued any chance we got. In fact, we argued just as much when we were together. And when I dated her, I just thought that was normal. It was my first proper relationship - I just thought that’s how it went, that you had to argue to get all of the good parts too. But, I’d argue with Missy one night and then the next morning I’d be waiting in the car to drive you to school. And you’d ask me how my night was and I’d probably just dismiss it, and you’d play your songs and tell me about your weekend and you’d make me laugh and you’d listen to me. And so every time I fought with Missy I’d think, fuck, it’s so much easier to talk to you.”

You look up at him and he smiles when your eyes make contact with his, like it’s a breath of fresh air.

“I don’t need you to be her. Because… the reason I was glad that relationship ended was because I realised that she wasn’t you.”

You let out an exhale as if a thousand weights had been lifted from your shoulders, Spencer’s hand coming up to your cheek to brush the skin there as though stopping any more tears from falling.

“Thank you,” You half-whisper and he smiles, kissing you quickly as if to lock in the moment.

“Just talk to me, okay?” He whispers, kissing you again, more strong and certain this time.

You rest your head on his shoulder and he wraps an arm around you, holding onto you like you were the best thing that had ever happened to him.

———

“Well, you two look like you’ve had fun,” Harper grins when she sees you and Spencer break out into the clearing in the forest.

He’s walking alongside you, his hand in yours, laughing at something you’d said. You smile at her and she gives you a look as if double checking you’re okay, you nod quickly.

“Get lost in the forest, did ya?” Ant wiggles his brows at the two of you.

Spencer steps behind you and wraps his arms around you above your shoulders, your hands resting on his forearms underneath your chin as his chin settles on top of your hair.

“We just…” You run your fingers along the skin of his arms, “Went for a walk.”

“Yeah I bet you did,” Ant winks and it’s evident what he’s insinuating.

Maybe him thinking that was easier than you telling him about the conversation you’d just had. He could believe what he wanted to believe.

“Party in the boys cabin later?” Amerie rushes over, grinning at Spider like she’s hoping he’ll agree with her.

“No pissing, no vomit, no spilling drinks,” Spider reaches out one arm to point at her as if directing his concerns to only her.

“Deal.”

Ant goes on to talk about who would be coming and points out that there were certain people he’d rather not be there. He smiles at you as if trying to make you feel welcome, like he’s assuring you he too hated what happened last night. That he, just as much as you, didn’t want it to happen again.

———

That night, you go over to the boys room and the doors already open. The guys are all there, Quinn, Darren and Cash too, and a few others you still weren’t sure of the names of. You, Amerie and Harper walk in and Ant shuts the door behind you.

“There she is,” Spencer grins when he sees you, “I was just talking about you.”

“All good I hope,” You cock a brow at him as you walk over to where he’s speaking to Cash and Darren.

“These two were just asking me of my … intentions,” He comments, wrapping an arm around your waist, “I wasn’t aware they cared so much about your relationships.”

“Someone’s got to look out for her now she’s with you,” Darren jokes, “And we’re always watching.”

“Noted,” Spencer nods and then looks down at you and smiles again, “Want a drink?”

“Yes please.”

Everyone manages to squeeze into the condensed space as people occupy spaces on the floor, you and Spencer take a spot on his bed, sat close beside each other as three other people managed to squeeze into the space beside you. Missy wasn’t here - thankfully. And you overheard Quinn saying that she was staying in their room with Sasha tonight instead. Thankfully.

Everyone was passing round bottles of liquor and trying to think of games to play and talking over each other and you just sort of let it all happen around you. You liked this group, as much as you felt different to them. They were friendly and welcoming and they didn’t judge you like you thought they would. In fact, it seemed they were happy to see Spencer with you. Like they were looking forward to him having a good influence.

“Hey,” Spencer nudges your side, “Do you want to get out of here?”

“Wh-“ You look at him and frown, “We don’t have to, I don’t mind staying.”

“But you’d rather go,” Spencer points out and waits as if he’s making sure you don’t dispute it, “Come on.”

He takes your hand in his and both of you stand up from the bed, trying to step your way through the bodies of people sat on the floor. They start to protest about you leaving, complaining that you two were boring and that they were offended you didn’t enjoy their company. One of them makes a joke about Spider being wifed off. But Spencer opens the door, sticks a middle finger up to all of them and then closes it behind you.

“Come on, we can go to my cabin,” You say, your hand still interlocked with his as the two of you walk the short distance across the complex to get to your room.

It’s empty, of course. Missy was in Sasha’s room and Harper and Amerie were still with the boys. Spencer locks the door behind both of you and breathes a sigh of relief.

“Just us,” He smiles lightly, his hands reaching out for your waist.

You hum in agreement and lock your hands behind his neck, Spencer taking steps to walk you backwards towards the bed. It’s awkward and stumbling when you get there, however, as you duck down to avoid hitting your head on the bunk on top. He stumbles to stop himself from falling too, tightening his grip on your waist.

“Well that was meant to be more romantic than that,” Spencer grimaces, dropping down onto you on the mattress.

You laugh and run a hand through his hair as he pushes up onto his elbows.

“It’s better when it’s just us,” He mumbles, leaning down and kissing you again.

You hum against his lips and keep your hand in his hair as he deepens his connection against you, his body shifting to hover over you, friction increasing between you both. He moves a hand to snake around your back, pressing against the skin to draw more of you into him, lips parting yours for his tongue to dominate. You move a hand to his shoulder and grip at the material of his t-shirt and Spencer pulls away from you.

“We don’t have to-“ He swallows the lump in his throat, catching his breath, “We don’t have to do anything.”

“No,” You reply quickly, “I want to.”

“(Y/n), you don’t have to say that I-“

“I’m not just saying it,” You assure him, “I just… I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.”

Spencer smiles softly, “Okay, we can take as long as we need. There’s no rush.”

He leans in to kiss you again, starting softly before getting to be more sure of himself, hand gripping your waist and kneading the skin there.

You weren’t anxious like you thought you would be. In fact, it was anticipation more than anything. And you felt safe knowing it was Spencer with you, in any lifetime you’d want it to be him.

———

The following morning, you wake up with Spencer’s arms still around you. The two of you are squashed in the cramped space of the single bed, his limbs folded to fit into the space, his breath hot on your neck as he wrapped around you, laying behind you. When you wake up and shift beneath him, he groans at the disruption, tightening his grip around you.

“Not yet,” He grumbles, drawing you into his chest.

“Spence,” You laugh, pushing yourself around to face him, “We need to get up and pack.”

He buries his head into the crook of your neck, sighing into the skin, “Not yet.”

Before you can speak again, there’s a knock at the door followed by a;

“Are you decent?!”

It’s Amerie’s voice.

“Come in,” You laugh, shifting underneath the covers as Spencer still buries his head into you, refusing to move.

The door opens and Harper and Amerie both walk in, still in last nights’ clothes, both of them looking like the hangover had hit.

They look down at the clothes discarded on the floor and then back up to the two of you in bed. You were wearing Spencer’s baggy t-shirt and he was in his boxers, bodies covered by the sheets over you.

“Well looks like you two had a party of your own last night,” Amerie grins, “Now I’m even more glad we stayed in the boys’ room.”

“Yeah good call,” Harper smirks, “We’ve got thirty minutes before we need to leave.”

“Oh, and Spider, I may have spilt vodka over your bag last night…” Amerie winces, “So have fun with that.”

He groans and turns into you even more, his arm draped over your stomach, “Thanks Am.”

The girls open the curtains in the room and he groans again.

“Is that necessary?” He mumbles, propping himself up onto his elbow beside you.

“You should probably go back and start getting your stuff packed,” You point out, “And get showered.”

He tilts his head down to sniff under his armpits, “Are you telling me I stink?”

You laugh and he jabs at your side to tickle you, making you squeal and writhe under his touch.

“God what did you do to this guy (Y/n)?” Amerie scoffs, “You’re a changed man these days Spider.”

He rolls his eyes and leans down to kiss you quickly, “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Spencer rolls over you on the mattress to get out of the bed, standing up and stretching his arms over him, his back muscles shifting and contorting as he does.

You lean up onto your elbows and watch him, “You’re not going out there in your pants are you?”

He turns around and grins, “Don’t worry darling, they can look but they can’t touch.”

You roll your eyes, “Goodbye.”

He grabs his other clothes from the floor and bundles them into his arms, walking out of your room with a yelled ‘goodbye darling’.

“Seriously, what did you do to that guy?” Harper laughs, “He’s like… nice now?”

You laugh, sitting up in the bed, a waft of his aftershave lingering on his top.

“Okay, leaving the party, clothes on the floor, room to yourselves,” Amerie wiggles her brows, sitting down on the mattress opposite you, “What did happen last night?”

“Oh and we want all of the boring details,” Harper grins, sitting beside her, both of them leaning forward in anticipation.

“Well… Ive never actually done that before,” You say, “But Spencer… well he seemed pretty good at it.”

They both squeal and laugh, bursting into a flurry of questions. You feel your heart swell when you talk about him.

———

Everything felt strangely in place now, for the past few weeks at least. You and Spencer had struck up a perfect balance in your relationship. To compromise not seeing each other at lunch, he would get to your house twenty minutes early and have breakfast - or stay there the night before and have breakfast in the morning. You’d go into school and stay with him and his friends until Harper and Amerie came in so you’d part ways and go with them instead. They’d welcomed you into their group without a thought. You’d go to your classes and Spencer went to his. At lunch, you sat with your old friends. They’d been a bit apprehensive about your relationship with Spencer but they could see how happy you were with him and, in fact, he’d even been making an effort to say hello to all of them at least. You’d go to your afternoon classes and then Spencer would meet you from the last one, driving you home or out to somewhere and it was rare the two of you had an evening without each other. It worked. You were happy.

You were in chemistry when the announcement sounded.

“Can the following students please make their way to the principal’s office,” The words came through the speakers, “(Y/n) (Y/l/n), Spencer White, Sasha So and Missy Beckett.”

Amerie frowns at you and you shrug, gathering your things as the teacher dismisses you from your class. Spencer walks out of his own class and meets up with you in the corridor, squeezing your shoulders as he walks behind you.

“Have I finally got you in trouble (y/l/n)?”

You roll your eyes and squeeze his hands over your shoulders, looking back at him, “It was inevitable.”

When you walk into Woodsy’s office she’s sat at her desk, Missy and Sasha stood opposite her already. They both look at you disapprovingly when you walk in.

“Good morning,” Woodsy begins, “Thank you for joining us, you two.”

You and Spencer fall into line beside the other two, everyone looking just as confused as each other.

“Well, I’ve brought you here today because I’ve got a very exciting proposition for you all,” She explains, “We’ve had interest from a local university about offering scholarship programmes to some of our students and you are the lucky four that have been shortlisted.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Sasha laughs, “What did Spider do?”

“Well, the school is considering sporting excellence as well as academic excellence,” Woodsy continues, “And Spencer is one of our talented sportsmen here.”

You look up at him and he leans down to whisper in your ear.

“Didn’t realise you were dating the top jock.”

You laugh and nudge his side, turning your attention back to Woodsy as you ask, “What do we have to do for this scholarship?”

“Well, you’ll be meeting with the scholars from the university and in a few weeks you’ll be presenting to them your ideas for how we can improve an aspect of the school. That could be trips, facilities, classes, anything. You’ll all be working individually and maybe more than one of you will get the scholarship and the opportunity to add a really good trait to your CV,” She explains, “How does that sound?”

“Can we go now?” Missy says bitterly, arms folded as she eyes you and Spencer.

“Not yet, I want the four of you working together on your initial ideas! You guys will be spending a lot of time together over the next few weeks and I want all of you to be successful.”

“Brilliant,” Missy rolls her eyes, “Can’t wait.”

The sarcasm seeps into the air but Woodsy chooses to ignore it, turning back to you and Spencer, “I am aware that you two have recently entered into a… romantic relationship. Do you feel this is going to affect your ability to do this?”

Spencer looks at you and raises his brows, looking back to Woodsy, “Was unaware you followed our personal lives, Miss.”

“Nothing is ever a secret in this school, Spencer.”

“We’ll be fine,” You interject, “We can be professional.”

“Alright, then you’re all free to go. We’ll be meeting today after school for your first session,” Woodsy nods, “I look forward to it! Let me give you these brochures and then you can be off.”

Missy and Sasha walk out first, mumbling between themselves about how it was ridiculous that they had to do this. Missy looks back at you and gives you a glare enough to slice through you. You ignore it.

“So, I think being professional means you’ve got to keep your hands off me, do you think you can manage that?” Spencer grins down at you, walking backwards out of the room as you follow him.

“No, I’m just insatiable,” You roll your eyes sarcastically, “I tell you what, I bet you’ll fold before I do.”

“That sounds like a challenge, (y/l/n).”

“Okay, you have to keep your hands off me whilst we’re in school - as soon as we’re back in these walls you’re back in the friend zone - until this whole thing is over,” You cock a brow.

“Oh it is on, darling,” He narrows his eyes at you, “And what do I get when I win?”

“Anything you want.”

You watch him swallow the thick lump in his throat, clearing it as he taps the brochure onto your forehead, “Done deal.”

Avoiding Spencer, spending all this time with Missy, trying to get this scholarship for college? The next few weeks were surely going to be hell.

———

Taglist: @genrockstar @aceofspades190 @dumb-bea @blue-butterflys @kinokomoonshine

[ribbons111]

hi, i’m Ribbon 𓍼 𓍯. 𓂃 and i write stuff. hope you enjoy your stay!

my masterlist;

track 1: lavender haze ()

track 2: maroon (xavier thorpe)

track 3: anti-hero ()

track 4: snow on the beach ()

track 5: you’re on your own, kid (jess mariano)

track 6: midnight rain ()

track 7: question…? ()

track 8: vigilante shit ()

track 9: bejewelled ()

track 10: labyrinth ()

track 11: karma ()

track 12: sweet nothing (jess mariano)

track 13: mastermind ()

track 1: nothings going to hurt you baby ()

track 2: I’m a firefighter ()

track 3: dreaming of you ()

track 4: starry eyes ()

Singles!!

olivia rodrigo: obsessed (matteo riddle)

Currently writing. Theodore Nott : Coriolanus Snow : Arthur Leclerc.

any requests or ideas are more than welcome, if i am un able to reply or i am un able to comply to the request i am most sorry.

People. Jess Mariano : Coriolanus Snow : Steve Harrington : Theodore Nott : Rafe Cameron : Ethan Landry : Peter Parker/Spiderman : Billy Loomis.