#she is foundational to who he is and he will never truly understand her the way he thought he did when they were children. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

grimdarling69 · 3 months ago

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Another Deaged Dan and Ellie or otherwise known as Crack pt7

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6

Diana of Themyscura had met many evil men, but few had reached the evil of Lex Luthor. He had kidnaped batmans son, tortured him in numerous ways, and forced him to create a portal? They weren't completely sure about the specifics of the machine. It was obviously a portal, but to where?

Batman had called them in after taking heavy fire when they marched on Luthor previously, and the Justice League founders were currently investigating the area.

Superman especially. He's currently in the medbay recovering from emergency surgery. His sons were sticking near him after the very near death from Luthors' new powers. Last she heard, Lois had arrived on base to support him as well.

"I already told you. They are as safe as they can be." Luthor repeated under her lassos effect. He was tied up on the floor because it was the only thing that was able to stop him from using his powers.

Zatanna and her contact were currently working on a cell for him based on the mystics. Hopefully it was soon.

"Fine. Let's try another question. How do we work the portal?" She tightened to ropes.

"I don't know. My... little badger did most of the...work."

"Don't you dare call him that!" The Red Hood stomped over, picking him up by the lapels on his suit.

"You have no right to call him anything after what you've done. You're so goaddamned lucky I ain't running this mission cause if I was, I'd have ground you to dust underneath my feet and served your head to him." He growled green reflected weirdly in Luthors eyes.

"Red Hood. Back down." Jason growled but roughly dropped him hard enough he heaved as he hit the ground and curled over.

"Never thought you'd be such a killjoy, Wayne." They didn't freeze they were all much to good to freeze, but she could tell it was a near thing.

"That's right. He told me about all of you. He was more than happy enough to tell me everything." Luthor baited them. Batman growled and approached him with a furious snarl.

"Don't let yourself be led astray by anger." Diana advised him. She received the alert that the cell was ready and loaded him up to bring him to the closest zeta. Batman watched her all the while a contrast from everyone else that avoided even looking in her direction.

-----‐----------

"Fuck that hurts." His son complained but didn't shy away from them. Damians never complained before. The giant yeti stood by assorted through what he can only guess as their medical supplies before finding greenish tinted bandages in strange container. He angled his body infront of Damian shielding him from whatever that was soaked in.

"What is that?" He questioned hesitantly."It's fine, Richard, it's just ecto-aids." Damian answered with full confidence. He couldn't take it any longer and pulled the last stitch through gently before rising and starting to pace erratically

"Damian. I promised myself I would take this slow, but I can't. I have no-no! idea where we are, who anyone even is, and why the fuck you're almost a completely different person." He waved his hands around erratically ignoring the yeti placing the 'ecto-aids' on the counter snd leaving.

"We-are in the Far Frozen, in the Infinate Realms where all afterlives exist together. It's the very foundation of the mulitverse."

"What the fuck are even talking about?" His jead was hurting s d he barely restrained him self from screaming in frustration.

" I am...a reincarnation of the High King Phantom, my-his real name was Danny Fenton. He was a superhero."

"I don't-no I don't understand...what- how?"

" I think i should start from the beginning. Maybe you should sit..?" His son asked his voice gentler and almost fragile. Damian wasn't fragile. He'd seen him take out mountains of goons 4 times his size, but for the first time in years, he truly looked all his fourteen years of life. He sat down beside him and bumped his shoulder a silent show of support hopefully.

"In that life my parents were scientists who studied..." For hours he listened as Damian recounted his previous life occasionally telling his own short tales to make him feel better.

"So Lex Luthor is your godfather from another life?"

"Yes, but he prefers Vlad. He doesn't mind, Mr. Luthor, but he hates Lex." Damian winced.

"Well, this is going to take a lot of adjustment. My whole view on life has been fundamentaly been altered." That is a severe understatement. He's met people who've had past lives, but knowing his own son had one was a...adjustment.

"I...understand if you want me to leave."

"What? Damian-"

"It's fine. I understand if you think I'm to..to different..."

"Damian, you are right that you're different, but we're all a little different. The whole family is batshit crazy you know. We would never kick you out."

"But I was difficult before, and now I'll be even worse. I can't even go one day without getting into fights. I'm...wrong-."

"You are perfectly fine just the way you are." He took Damian face between his hands.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I am so proud of you. You have come so far in just the short few years I've known you. You overcame your past and you can overcome this to."

"I'm scared. What if-father doesnt-...want me?" His lip wobbled, and his eyes glistened in the warm light.

"Bruce loves you. You're his son. And even if somehow Bruce doesn't, I'll be right here because you're my son too. My Robin. It's okay to be scared. Courage is not the absence of fear -"

"But the triumph over it. Do you know how many times you've told me that? I couldn't count it even if I kept a journal. I would never admit to being afraid to anyone but you." His son finished his quote.

"Then why did you run from me?" He could admit that the question had laid heavily on his mind. There wasn't anybody he trusted more than Damian, and he thought he shared the sentiment.

"I knew that if stayed I'd put them in danger." Damian tried to escape his hold on his head to look away but Dick refused to let him go.

"Who, Dami?"

"My-my...children."

"What? How? You're a-"

"It's more like incubation for ghosts. Dan and ellie, the siblings I told you about. Their bodies were injured and discorpolated to the point they had to retreat to their cores. Because of their pasts, they wouldn't have enough strength to heal, so I am hosting them." Many people have hosted...things before and he's sure ghosts are different, but he's heard of spirits and parasites before.

"Oh. That's a lot but it's not...hurting you is it?"

"Not..typically."

"What do mean?" Please don't make me lose you again.

"I needed to get to Frostbite to check if there are any complications, but because of circumstances, it's complicated." He admitted looking anywhere but his eyes.

"What circumstances? What complications?" He tried to keep the desperation out of his voice but he fears he only made himself sound frustrated.

"The Lazurus Pits. I believe they are corrupted ectoplasm. Frostbite would know more about this than i do. I believe that after I got more pure ecto, the corruption was flushed out, but I need to make sure." He makes a note to ask Frostbite about Jason later.

He opens his mouth to ask again, but Frostbite came back. "Is everything all right? Some of my people heard yelling in here?" Dick goes to speak but is interrupted before he can. Damian shakes his hands off and scoots away from him on the table.

"Everything is fine. We were just about to use the ecto-aids." Damian lied convincingly. The yeti sighed, obviously not believing his less than convincing act.

"You requested a check-up? On the young cores, am I correct?" He questioned, moving on from the subject. Dick didn't remember Damian saying anything about the cores, and he had carried him all the way here. He turned to Damian in question.

"We're ghosts, or I'm a halfa, but we do a lot of emotional speaking and sensing auras. Every core has a special ecto-signal, and most can see ecto-bonds aseell. He's obviously put the dots together. It's not hard." Damian explained. The more he learns, the more concerning it gets. He gives Damian an unimpressed look.

"Quite right. It's a special bond that traverses lifetimes that you two have!"

He turned to damian questioningly but he seemed just as lost.

"I sensed the small ecto-signal that I used to sense from your older sister. I thought you already knew?"

"No, no, I don't sense anything. Everything is diluted. I didn't even sense vlad until he was right in front of me before."

"Hmm, let's come back to this later and get you checked out first to make sure there aren't any immediate problems. I may just be mistaken. Jasmine was always a liminal. She never even reached ecto-contamination levels of a halfa." He pondered.

"Wouldn't i atleadt recognize some things if I was her? Dejavu?"

"I doubt it. You might have the soul of her, but without the ecto, you might never regain the memories."

"And we are not contaminated him just to test a theory. No experiments." Damian said with distant eyes.

"Of course, great one. It was merely a thought." And with that the conversation was over and the examination begun.

------------

Stephanie rubbed her eyes with expensive lotion tissues she'd called pointless, but Alfred always kept in stock. The tissue box was blue, and there was another green one beside it. The universe sure had a way of being funny.

"Care for a snack Miss Stephanie?" Alfred asked her with red rimmed eyes, he carried a plate with fancy cheeses and crackers with funny shapes.

"Thanks, Alfie." "Of course,miss." She sighed and ate the lightest cheese with an almost cat-looking shape.

"Do you want one Cass?" Cass was laying on the med bay bed with several bandages crisscrossed on her upper body. She had a heavily wrapped foot and her hair was secured with numerous brightly colored pins to keep it away from the healing scars.

She shakes her head slightly. Steph sighs and stands from the spare bed and takes the tray with her. She spares one last glance to her mourning and benched best friend.

Duke is dressed as signal sans mask bent over the batcomputer. His stance reminds her of Bruce and she can't help but smile. Duke nods his head at her.

"How is she?" He asks, typing and reading several reports. "Sad." She sets the tray on a nearby counter close enough for Duke to snack. He sighs and finally sits down in the chairs.

"Green Lanturn visited the island yesterday. He says it isn't alien."

"Which one?"

"Guy Gardner." She hums thoughtfully. She's met the guy only once before. He seemed a bit hot-headed, but she's heard of good work from him before. Jason's bike sounded out from behind them. He ripped his helmet off and slammed it down on the counter. The tray shakes, and the cheese mixes with the crackers in a pile.

"Amy leads?" She asked him ignoring his anger. He was getting better and now this.

"Do i look it panned out, blondie?" She sighed and pulled herself onto the counter.

"Zatanna had a contact look at the portal. They said it 'reeked' of death. Refused it to get any closer. Deadman is going to check it out today." Duke interupted them.

"What about Constantine?" She took the subject change.

"Still missing. Zatanna found his house yesterday. There was a note of a poker meeting in hell for a piece of his soul. Bruce thinks he lost and pissed of a demon he couldn't escape."

"You've got to be kidding me. How many people are going to go missing?" Jason started ripping off his armor and disappeared into the changing rooms. Hopefully, for a shower, he reeks.

"The Titans went back to the island today."

"How was that?"

"Raven ran into Zatanna and offered to look for Costantine in hell."

"Seriously? That's the worst idea ever."

"Batman said that to. She's probably going to go through with it still, though."

"Obviously."

"Hows your mom?"

"Good. She's worried about me. I keep telling her it's okay, but everyone knows about the cover story kidnappings by now."

" I still think the cover is bad. I'm surprised they even bought it."

"The press will buy anything that makes cops look bad. After that shootout at the mall last week, not a single person got hurt apart from some bruising, but everyone is dumping on the pigs now. Bruce is pissed."

"True. It was just some desperate kids trying to get quick cash anyway. They didn't even have bullets. Now all i get from Bruce is that I should have stopped them from pistal whipping that security guard."

"No shit?" The zeta tube rang out suddenly.

"Spoiler. Signal. Gather the others. We have a lead.

Fucking finally.

------‐---

Dick Grayson was no stranger to restless nights. Being a circus act turned vigilante, he'd been used to working well through midnight. Then he became a cop then Bruce 'died', and he quit. Then he came back and he had to say bye to his son and took a gymnastics training job. Much more flexible hours but just as exhausting. Classes, people, and training all day. It challenged even his extroverted attitude.

The coffee in this dimension wasn't anything like his own. It had an almondy taste to it, and he'd assume it was poisoned if he hadn't already drunken 2 cups a day since he got here.

It never got cold even if he left it out all day in the biting storms outside. It would be a little watery but still hot. He very much enjoyed that. He could drink room temperature coffee, but he still hated it.

They'd been staying at a log cabin in the Far Frozen since they got here four and half weeks ago. He'd questioned just about every yeti and random ghost about raising ghostlings, and hes pretty sure they run in terror when they see him coming by now. He sighed and set down his empty mug.

He spends just about everything day questioning ghosts, Frostbite visits, and spending time with Damian. Rinse and repeat. Don't get him wrong, he loves spending time with damian it was just hard. It's obvious they're running out of time. Bruce will get the portal fixed one way or another and come get them, and damian is scared out of his mind.

His nightmares haven't been this bad in years. It's gotten to the point that Damian starts out the night in his bed. Damian didn't talk in his sleep before it was mainly mumbled. Now it's all he hears.

(Please...I'm alive-im alive-im a real...person)

He gets his own nightmares as well. He sees Danny on the table. Strapped down, his hair, a white dewy halo. His green eyes glow, unseeing. A mix of red and green blood surrounding them. He's struggling with the wounds. Pushing the organs back in. Taking out the rib stretcher. Pushing them back in. Stapling his skin. His hands are covered in blood, both green and red. He thinks they might be a mix of Jazzs memories and his own imagination.

The toaster popping up pulls him from his thoughts. He picks up the burning bread. Swearing loudly and tossing the bread from one hand to the other all the way to the plate. Why didn't he just grab the plate? God he's fucking dumb.

The oven timer beeps, and he grabs his much needed mitt. He pulls out the golden brown biscuits. Alfred would be proud. He's not a bad cook, no matter what the others say. He's just a distracted and experimental one. Alfred often banned him from his experiments growing up trying to cook his parents' meals from memory. Alfred had, of course, pulled up recipes and even made calls. It just didn't taste right it was missing something he'd argue. Now that he was older, he thought maybe the circus was missing things and his parents substituting it the best they could.

He grabs the butter from the fridge and pulls back the wrapping to use the end of the stick on the biscuits. Damian hates when he does it 'unsanitary and gross', but come on, he has to do it as quickly as he can. They're also the only ones who have to eat here! Damians ghostly friends have been bringing back food from the real world for then to eat. He's trying not to wonder where their getting the food.

He grabs the honey jar and uses the fancy stick he can't remember the name of to spread the honey everywhere. He even puts some on his toast. He flips the last few pieces of suspicious looking fake bacon onto the resting plate. The Lunch Lady Ghost had brought for them saying he had to get protein somewhere, but if you ask him, it looks...iffy. He made extra biscuits just in case.

He loads the biscuits and toast on one plate and another for the fakon. He balances two cups of orange juice in one hand and holds the plate with his stomach and forearms. He nudges the slightly open door with his foot. The ghost dog 'Cujo' nips at his ankle and hopps around his feet excitedly.

"Down boy." He jokes half-heartedly. The dog takes his command very seriously and lays on the ground tongue halfway out his mouth. His wagging tail is undeterred by the wood intangiblely sweeping through in wide arcs. Damian is asleep under the covers his body to used to his footsteps to register as a danger anymore. He's trying his best to treat this as a vacation instead of getting used to it, but he can't help but admit he'd love to do this every morning. Making breakfast for them every morning, coming home or driving to pick him up every afternoon, no longer making do with calls and canceled weekends.

"Dami... wakey wakes, eggs, and bakey..." he sings, rubbing his shoulder. He sets the orange juice and plates on their one nightstand next to the baby 101 book they probably all read in Robin training already. He grabs his toast and a biscuit off the plate.

"Five more minutes..."No can do, baby. We've got a busy day today." Dami groans and rubs his face. His hair is much longer than three and a half months ago, no longer under Alfred's tutelage or gels, and now free to curl. He can't resist the temptation and runs his hand through the wild curls. Damian swats his hand away without any real heat, and he jumps on the bed, crawling over Damian and informing his squawk of protest to his side of their bed.

Damian sits up and snatches a biscuit and the baby name book underneath the other book. He pushes the book across the bed without a word.

"Did you find what you wanted? I thought you were going with Dan and Ellie. Like before." He notices a paper sticking out of the book, and he opens to that page. A small paper with Damis fancy scribbling is sticking out.

Dante Jasmine

Eleanor Richard

He sucks in a harsh breath.

"I-I had a rough time deciding on either Dante or Jordan. But I thought he'd like Dante more, you know. Do-do you like it? The names? Is it... okay?" Damian places a hand on his stomach where their cores are resting. They're growing stronger by day. Damian had let him hold his hand there just last night and feel them kicking? Pulsing? It was hard to tell, but Frostbite assured them it was normal and that any day now, they'd phase out. Frostbite had said that ghosts barely incubated for more than a month it only took so long because both the cores and Damian were weaker.

"It would be an honor. To have her named after me. And if Frostbite was right, both of them." Damian smiles and takes a bit of the biscuit. He barely manages to keep the happy tears in.

"I wanted to talk to you about something else as well."

"What Dames?" The last word sounded more like 'duhs' after he started eating his biscuit.

"Tucker stopped by when you were out interagating the yetis yesterday." He blushed and stuffed the rest of the biscuit into his mouth. "He said Constantine was asking around at big leagues poker last week. They invite Tuck all the time, probably to suck up to the Big Guy in charge, you know.

"Since he's been looking after the throne for you?"Yeah, he's been doing a pretty good job. we'll probably revisit it when I'm older, but he said that he was looking for a pair of lost heroes."

"He described us?"

"Yeah, Tucker said it was pretty accurate, too. Even called in some favors. Tucker thinks he suspects something with the dimensions."

"Is he suspicious?"

" I don't think so, but Tuck said he pissed off some demons."

"Enough to go after him?"

"It's John Constantine. What do you think?" Damian said, folding his arms and squinting as if to say 'really?'.

"Fine. You're right. Should we help?"

"I'm sure the league will go after him if anything happens. I'll put some ghosts on the trail. Some cute blob ones, maybe." The league...Bruce.

"We should talk about Bruce." Damian looked away.

"What's there to talk about?" Dick scooted closer, catching a glance at the dog curled below damian on a pillow.

"Bruce loves you damian."

"You already said. God, you're starting to sound like a broke record. Did you know that?" Anger. It's easier to be angrier than admit you're scared. He'd know that well.

"It's true. I know you're worrying about it."

"Do you really think Father will undersrand? Understand them? Leave it alone?"

"You're his son, of course he can!"

"Am i? Am I his son? Or am I just another obligation? A reminder of his mistakes." Uncommon tears threaton to fall from Damians face. Reflecting in the early morning light.

"That's not true. He loves you." God, he was broken record.

"But does he like me? Does he really trust me?" Damian turned to him, fully letting him see the falling tears.

"Of course he likes you. You're his Robin and his son." He reached out a hand to wipe the tears from his face. His heart aches for his son.

Damian threw himself into his arms. His head made his way onto his neck and shoulder. Clutching and gripping his clothes. Dick grabs him and does his best tonadjust him into a healthier position to not hurt either one of them. There's a damp spot on his shoulder, but he ignores it.

"I'm your Robin too..."

"He's your dad, dami." He mutters into his hair. He uses his fingers to soothe the knots in his hair out as gently as he can.

"I wish-wish you were my real dad... not Bruce." Please don't say that. Please, you don't mean it. Damian starts sobbing and shudders against him. Shaking the both of them. He tries to soothe him. Rocking them back and forth.

"Dont say that. Don't do this to me -" He tries his best to get rid of the thoughts. Of them being actual father and son. Of him being able to take Damian home. Of not having to worry about Bruce's reminders that they're brothers. That he's Damians father, not him.

"You're his son." A reminder to himself just as much to Damian that he's Bruce's, not his. Damian just sobs louder. His heart breaks into pieces, and he tries to comfort him, rubbing circles into his shoulder blades. He turns his head and kisses his Baby Bats forehead. This angle allows him to see his face. It was soaked and reddened from the tears. Damian tries to bury himself closer to him.

"No-no..." Damians sobs into his arms. His jacket is drenched.

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thinemoonshine · 7 months ago

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⋆𐙚₊ 𝔂𝐨𝐮, 𝗮 𝓵𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐝 𝓭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 ˚⊹♡

—⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ to rewrite himself in ways he never even thought of, to reconstruct the foundation of his beliefs and understanding of perfection as he knows it—just for you? of course

good boy!jay x bad girl!reader content: fluff(?), angst, suggestive scenes, reader and jay both fall but jay falls down bad, jay’s obsessed with (y/n) and so is his wallet type: oneshot word count: 2.2k

jongseong is the human embodiment of good. he’s discipline. he’s a gentleman. he’s everything nice. and he took pride in that, he enjoys being the warm, friendly guy who everyone sees as a welcoming haven. sure, it gets tiring sometimes and people can be a bit unappreciative—but at the end of the day, it’s just in him to be kind.

so when he saw a girl all bruised and battered sitting against the wall of their uni’s entrance one rainy evening, he expected himself to lend a hand—offering to bring her to his home for a little emergency first aid since she was adamant against the hospital.

but what he didn’t expect is to fall for her so quickly, so intensely, over the course of a few days of her staying at his house. in fact, his house feels more homey and lovable with (y/n) around—even with the occasional clothes strewn around or the scent of strawberries and cigarettes that linger around her.

so when she disappears unannounced one day, leaving only a note saying that she’ll ‘make sure to pay him back for his help,’ he finds himself losing his mind. a multitude of emotions in a constant turbulence as his senses are numbed for everything but the ache to feel the remnants of her.

it was tolerable at first—her sweet and smoky scent still lingering in his home, her clutter in the guest room still carrying her presence and the snacks that he bought for her being in the fridge and pantry deserving as a constant reminder of how she truly enjoyed her stay with him.

he could still see her, her smiles and twinkling eyes, and he could still hear her, her laughter and snores—for a moment, it seemed like she’s still with him.

but overtime, his memories of her molded into one another, creating blurry images and indistinguishable hues, her scent now gone and the objects that used to remind him of her— that remain untouched by him to retain that familiarity—just seem like…stuff.

and suddenly, everything is insufferable.

jay sobs into her pillow as he curls into himself, eyes red and jaw clenched tightly to quieten his woeful whimpers as he cries. it’s suffocating. his house is so big and spacious yet each and every room feels constricting. the walls and floors keep moving—all except the ones in her room.

“(y/n)…” he chokes out as he clutches the envelope of cash tighter against his chest. (y/n) kept her promise though—never missing her weekly payback to him but she never comes. just a fixed amount of cash stuffed into a plain white envelope sent to him and just torturing him with her absence.

still, the fact that she still holds him in her mind offer him comfort.

‘she hasn’t forgotten me,’ he thinks as he weakly flutters his heavy, puffy eyelids open. he sits up slowly, feeling cold all of a sudden as air blows onto the wet patch on his cheek from his own salty tears and he stares at the white sheet in his hand.

‘i’ll find you, (y/n). and this time, i won’t let you go.’

—

(y/n) stares up at the dark, plain canvas above, saddened by the fact that no stars are there to light it up. but she quickly digresses as her attention falls on her lit cigarette to inhale a puff.

she smoothly blows it out and watches as the fog dissipates before her eyes and taking in another. it feels…odd, to be just casually smoking without a care of her surroundings despite it being such a normal routine.

her experience staying in jay’s house seems to be internalized far deeper into her than she realizes considering how her habits there feel more normal than what she always does since long ago.

back in his house, she would always smoke out at his balcony and at the slightest sound that signals his approach, she’d kill the cig on its ashtray and wave her hand frantically to rid off any remaining puffs—not wanting him to inhale any.

so to be carefree now just feels iffy, as weird as it is. a heavy sigh escapes past (y/n)’s lips along with a long trail of smoke and she ends the cigarette before even finishing it. she has no appetite for it now.

hands in her leather jacket’s pockets, she then turns back into the club to return to her job of luring filthy rich men to spend more money and turning them into regulars. it’s a fun gig mostly, seeing that they’re usually narcissistic snobs thus, feeding their egos do the trick nicely but it’s risky too. once they realise that they’re in fact, not ‘special’ to her, they’ll fall into a tantrum. that’s what got her bruised up when jay found her.

“so, got any targets for me?” she asks the bartender who’s usually the one to keep an eye out for her next victim.

the worker points his chin to a man sitting in a bar booth alone, head facing away from them as he drinks from his wine glass. he’s apart from the dance floor, isolated from the lively section of the club where people usually sink themselves in when coming to a place like this.

(y/n)’s brows raise at his luxurious clothing—expensive fabric and suit that’s clearly tailored to him with every cut and edge accentuating his figure, colours and ornate accessories that are neither ostentatious nor humble and sparkly dress shoes that seem awfully brand new or just freshly polished.

the man exudes money. he probably smells just like it too.

“do you enjoy being a lone wolf? or would you not mind a little bit of company?” (y/n) starts slowly once she reaches the table. her voice sultry and yet relaxed, expressing interest but not coming off too desperate. a professional in her line of work.

the man stays silent for a moment before finally turning his head and the foxy smile the girl wears falls instantly.

“jay?” she shakily sounds, shock dripping from her tone. “what are you doing here?”

“i want to be. i’m a grown man capable of making his own decisions,” he casually says, a half-smile on his face as he lowers down his wine glass onto the table with precision, not making a single noise. “just like you, a grown woman capable of making her own choices—packing up and leaving me without so much of a proper goodbye.”

the girl flinches at his sharp tone. it’s acrimonious, accusatory but there’s not a single hint of malicious intent. instead, it’s more of deep-rooted hurt. a pained comment.

“i’m sorry. but it’s for the better,” she simply says, not wanting to drag the topic more than it should with the way her throat’s tightening—tears threatening to fall. “you should leave. it’s a weekday, go to your lecture or something.”

she turns on her heels, hasty, because she knows that every second spent with him will just weaken her resolve of rejecting him.

but she’s forced to a stop at his next words.

“i’m not studying anymore. thought it was useless considering i’m going to take over the family business anyways,” he casually says and bites back a triumphant grin when she swivels back to him with disbelief painted across her face.

“what?? but jay, your dream! you told me all about it—how you want to finish your studies and graduate, how you want to reach as high as you can before you’ll have to settle for the business. what about all that??” (y/n) rambles as the bewilderment grows.

he was so happy talking about it. she remembers it all so vividly, how he pictures himself in the future, how he has a list of things he wishes to achieve, how this mindset was created from the moment he gained consciousness over himself—to prove that he’s capable of more than what anyone has ever expected.

but now? he tells her that he’s stopped his degree? that he thinks it’s futile. who even is he?

“well, dreams change,” he begins and makes his way to stand in front of the girl. with a playful, almost sly grin stretched on his defined face, his hand reaches to hold her chin before lifting it up towards him. “mine did the moment i fell for you. although, it did take me a while to notice—needing you to leave me before it finally struck.”

the other says nothing—no, she can’t say anything. she doesn’t know what to say. her brain’s all muddled and figure turned to putty in his hand and the devious smirk he wears shows that he seems to be aware of it. and he takes pride in it, reveling at fact as he uses his other hand to brush her stray strands away from her face before kissing her forehead.

and they travel—down to her eyes, to her cheekbones, cheeks, nose and finally, her lips. he hovers slightly as he stares at them, mesmerized by the glossy pink and breathing deepening at the anticipation of the feeling.

he’s only ever dreamt of this moment, to be this close to her, even when she was still living with him. back then, she never let him come within her space. not in a way where she blatantly pushes him away or rejects every form of skinship. after all, they still cuddled during nights she felt lonely and he played with her hair every so often. but ishe simply retreated whenever she saw him approach her with a slightly different intent—when his eyes gazed at her with affection heavier than usual or when his gestures seemed more intimate despite having no significant difference than the ones before.

she sensed it whenever he tried to take a step forward, so she took a step back.

but now, here she is, with a proximity so dangerous, her almost pressed up against him, and their faces just mere inches away. a small nudge and they’ll crash into one another.

his chest heaves at the thought and scalp tingles. he’s getting impatient. inching himself closer, his gaze flickers to hers for a reaction and at the absence of rejection, he instantly closes the gap between them. a guttural sound rumbles through him as his arm snakes around her waist before pulling her taut against him—her arms reciprocating the gesture.

she gasps at the hardness of his bod, never before realising how built he is and he smirks, instantly darting his tongue between her teeth and groaning at her taste. the sweet sour taste of wine mixed with her smokey cigar, dominates their taste buds and jay moans with pure gratification. he’s never tasted such a delicacy before. he craves for more.

he pulls away to give her the breaths she very much needs but doesn’t loosen his grip, simply letting her collect herself as she clings close. his gaze never leaves her face, tracing her every feature and etching them into his mind as his hand caresses soothingly on her cheek. his touch is searing, warmth seeping into her flesh and bones, melting her even further.

the familiar scent of strawberries and cigarettes fills his nose and his eyes roll to the back of his head before they shut. he shudders as her presence subjugates his senses and he presses a small kiss on her crown to assuage his urge to consume her right where she stands.

he digs his face into her hair, drowning himself in her scent as he whimpers words of gratitude like a mantra, tears lining the rims of his shut eyes. the realisation of finally having her back in his arms is real. not just another one of his fantasies or a desperate plea but reality. her warmth, her touch, her voice, they’re all here. she’s here with him. and he’d rather perish than to ever let her slip through his fingers again.

who knew that spending barely a month without her could drive him insane? not him, not until now, at least. but (y/n) has always been the element of surprise for him.

"now, let's go back to our home, yeah?" jay says with a cadence so saccharine that (y/n) feels an instant sense of longing and her arms subconsciously tighten around him, making his heart skip miles per second. "but before that, how about we get those pretty nails of yours done? i booked you an appointment at your favourite salon. you can get that set you've been telling me all about last time, hm?"

the girl pulls away as she casts her scrutinizing stare onto his face, searching for any sort of falsity or falter in his facade but all she sees is pure, unrestrained affection oozing from his tender countenance—a man truly enamoured and it's seen by every single soul in the room.

jay's underlying anxiousness settles once he sees her finally, relax her shoulders and cave to his allures and he once again, pulls her against his chest—hand running up and down her back as he quietly revels in his victory while his lips peppers loving kisses onto her knuckles, spending longer on her ring finger as he envisions a shiny band wrapped beautifully around it.

sure, his decisions go against everything he's set for himself, everything his parents had expected of him. it requires him to rewrite himself in ways he never even thought of, to reconstruct the foundation of his beliefs and understanding of perfection as he knows it—but it's all worth it.

for (y/n), anything and everything is worth it.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ bambi (heeseung ver.), puppy boy (jaeyun ver.), skater boy (sunghoon ver.), foxy... baby (sunoo ver.), pretty kitty (jungwon ver.), teeth (ni-ki ver.)

𝜗𝜚 disclaimer: i do not condone any reckless behaviour portrayed in this work. this is entirely fiction and does not depict the member's real personality. if you enjoyed it, don’t forget to leave a heart and reblog—they give me some motivation, ya know? but please do not spam like!! X♡X♡, romi ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

#𖥔ཐི⋆𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝖘𝖎𝖈𝓴𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺#jay enhypen #jongseong x reader #jay oneshot #enhypen x reader #possessive jay #jongseong imagines #enhypen oneshot #enhypen x female reader #enhypen fanfiction #jay enhypen fanfiction #enha x reader #jongseong oneshot #jay imagines #jongseong fanfiction

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fragilefangirl · 2 years ago

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I do think that Coryo fell in love with Lucy Gray, but i also fully believe that such love would never have been possible had he not be given the near-total control over her fate in the games, and by extension, her fate in the Capitol.

Listen. Here is a boy who has nothing but his last name, posing around pretending like he owned everything while scrambling for a scrap of something. Here is a boy who had to share everything he had ever owned, who was never fully in control of anything except for his words. Here is a boy, who, due to the lie he's been controlling, can never let anyone in -- not even his pseudo-older sister and not even his most affectionate classmate -- for it poses the risk of being perceived, and potentially punished for his lack of ownership.

And then suddenly this boy -- who's so desperate to own something -- is granted the ownership of another person a full-pass to control everything about her; her words, her image, her story. And sure, she wasn't his first pick, but the thought of having something gave him a sense of relief and dignity his lies could never give him, and that dignity, that slight restoration of confidence, gave way for that first crack on his chest after being guarded for so long.

And then the person he "owned" showed up, and she was the most interesting person of the pick. She gave the people a show and she made a song on top of it, turning his confidence to pride. I truly believe that had he been assigned to another person, he would not have showed up to the train station, simply due the fact that they were not interesting enough to warrant his visit -- or his grandma'am's roses. Him showing up to the train wasn't just done in goodwill; it was also a stake of ownership -- it was him, acknowledging to himself that this was something worth owning, and like other things worth owning, it could be taken away from him if he lets his guard slips.

And that becomes the initial foundation to their interaction; the talking, the bringing up food... sure, Lucy Gray was interesting, but he was detached of her charm in those first meeting, seeing her in the lens of how others might measure her and her worth. his main focus was "taking care of her"; making sure his precious thing survived, making sure his ownership of her -- and thus his pride -- will not dissipate.

And then the tributes started plotting to kill him, only to be stopped by Lucy Gray. Sure, for her, he might seem as if he was doing something a kind -- even if useless -- meeting her in this run-down train station, and that perhaps was part of the reason why she defended him, and part of the reason why she stood by him in that Zoo cage. But for Coryo, his visit was calculated, his rose a chip of bargain, his zoo visit a byproduct of refusing to be caught slipping. For him, Lucy Gray stepping up for him was uncalled for, a surprising kindness.

He tried to rationalize it best as he could, but he was stumped. And I think this was when he started to really listen to Lucy Gray, to stop being detached from her. He was his father's son, and he believed in knowing the things he owned in order to properly maintain it. And it was this desire to know that melted his walls, that made him vulnerable, because to understand her fully he opened himself up to be understood, which had never happened before.

I think Coryo did love Lucy Gray, however tainted and terrible that love was. I think it was the first time of him making the effort to perceive someone and be reciprocated back -- fully, thoroughly, and wholeheartedly. It helped (or didn't help?) That Lucy Gray was a poet, that she fed him with pretty words; the only things that -- up until she showed up -- he'd ever truly owned for himself. For him, that connection -- added over the fact that he had "owned her", as everyone else kept saying -- must have felt like a drug. It must have felt intoxicating, to own something so lovely, something that adored him. It must have been a new, exhilarating feeling for Coryo, who never owned anything but worthless scraps and his pretty, pretty words. And yes, that was such a terrible way to put it, but love is many things; it can be terrible too.

I think Coryo loved Lucy Gray, and had they stayed in Capitol, he would have been able to continue to "love her". Billy Taupe was just some name, the Covey some story. What for Lucy Gray was history, was only pretty words for him. For all he chose to believe in, they could be the same pretty words he said; mostly lie, some exaggeration. In the Capitol, she is his, fully. And Coryo can love only what he owns.

But they didn't stay at Capitol, they moved to twelve. Suddenly, all her pretty words were honest and real, something he couldn't ignore, much less control. Suddenly, there was the Covey, and Billy Taupe, and Mayor Lipp, and even if her eyes were for him only he still had to share the rest of her -- her voice, her charm, her poise -- with other people. Twelve highlighted that he'd never truly owned her, we all know that. But here's another thing that twelve highlighted; it was him who chose to be the soldier in a rundown district, him who chose to follow her. If there was any ownership to be had here, it was her that owned him.

And Coryo? He doesn't share, yes, but worse than anything, he despises being owned.

This is where TBOSAS shone its brilliance; president Snow is the way he was not because he is an unfeeling sadist the was Volumnia Gaul is. He was the way he was because of love. Because of the vulnerability that comes with that love, and the refusal to surrender to it. President Snow would not be as ruthless and despicable had he been desensitized, and it was his feelings, his capability to love, that led him to employ some of the most gruesome tactics to win the games.

Here's the heartbreaking thing; once upon a time, Coryo loves Lucy Gray, and that love was true. Here's another heartbreaking thing; that love was built on poison, and its toxic vines ruined him so completely, decimated him so thoroughly, he was reborn anew evil; president Snow would not have happened without Lucy Gray, without Coryo's time in Twelve.

President Snow said, "it's the thing we love most that destroys us," and he said this as a warning to Katniss, yes, but he also said it to Coryo's shadow, standing behind her, who was looking at the back of the Girl on Fire, thinking the wavy black hair and the whispered songs were that of someone else's.

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #lucoryo #coryo x lucy gray #their toxic ship is toxicing #and i am intoxicated #does this make sense? no #do i care? no #the hunger games #thg

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just-b-wilde · 4 months ago

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The Umbrella Academy: the concept of second love, finding yourself, a little controversy and loss

I've noticed a very similar concept recurring with characters in TUA, and I'd like to break it down for each character individually. I'll take them by their numbers.

#1 Luther

First Love: Allison

Controversial relationship (adopted siblings)

Partially unrequited love - he was never as important to Allison as she is to him + later manipulates him (a sign of toxicity)

Still, she's very important in the development of his story and they have some nice moments and she's important to his character development, though mostly it's about him agonizing over his love for her (he falls for Sloane all the more quickly in my opinion, as he thirsts for true love)

Second Love: Sloane

Romantic relationship, despite the obstacles their feelings for each other are very pure and they have some very cute scenes together

Luther has found in her someone who understands and accepts him for who he is

Found and lost thanks to the time jump (reboot)

#2 Diego

First Love: Eudora

Ex-partner

Partial cooperation

Tragic loss: Eudora's death - partially helps his character development

Second love: Lila

From his point of view, an initially casual yet intense relationship

Controversy: Their relationship is built on Lila's lies and manipulation (she was interested in him because it was her mission, kidnaps him to the Commission and later lies to him about "their son")

Even though they are later married and have three children together, their marriage is dysfunctional

Relationship loss: Lila wants a break because she is unsure about their marriage, later falls in love with Five

#3 Allison

First Love: Luther

(Yes, it's probably appropriate to mention Patrick, but he was never really in the plot, so I won't mention him even though they were married and had a daughter together.)

More of a childhood crush

She valued him most when she didn't have anyone else around

(See Luther's points)

Second love: Raymond

Her true love

He knew the truth about her and accepted her

Found and lost thanks to the time jump

#4 Klaus

First "love": Alcohol and drug addiction

An unexpected and controversial choice? Perhaps, but this "love" was very devastating and made Klaus do many crazy things

His eternal affairs can't be considered love.

Second love: Dave

The only man Klaus loved more than himself (his words)

Found and lost thanks to the time jump

Klaus got rid of his addiction thanks to him (which then came back thanks to him, but he was definitely able to help him from his "toxic love")

#5 Five

First Love: Dolores

His fantasy created through loneliness and trauma

She helped him through his years in a post-apocalyptic world

Despite not being a "healthy relationship" it had a place in Five's story and was important to his development (among other things, it foreshadowed how sensitive Five could be when he fell in love)

Second Love: Lila

His first true love

Lila was the only one who ever truly understood him and understood what he was going through + he had the happiest moments of his life with her (finally)

Controversy: she was still his brother's wife at the time, yet we know that, given the circumstances, she hadn't been with Diego for years (and wanted a break before that)

Love found through being lost in time and "lost" through going back in time

Tragic ending: erased from existence

#6 Ben

First love: Jill

One-sided crush (Jill didn't really know Ben existed)

He had partially distorted ideas about her

Jill reminds me partly of Dolores, since Ben as a ghost had very limited options

Second Love: Jennifer

A fateful yet devastating love

Feelings affected by other circumstances (Marigold and Durango)

Tragic ending: death

#7 Vanya/Victor

First "love": Leonard

A relationship built on a foundation of manipulation and lies

Yet Vanya herself mentioned the feelings she had for him, even if they were based on lies

Killed by Vanya, part of the reason for the apocalypse

Second Love: Sissy

Her/his true love

Controversy: A married woman with a family

Found and lost thanks to the time jump

Part of the reason for the apocalypse (Harlen)

#8 Lila

First Love: Diego

Their relationship had a very toxic foundation, from my perspective it was also based on Lila's rebellion against The Handler

An intense relationship, especially sexual

Their relationship gave her the family she wanted

See Diego's points

Second Love: Five

A romantic relationship

A collaborative partnership

Controversy: the killing of her family (who later live again)

Concept: enemies to lovers

See Five's points

It is very interesting from my point of view that their relationships often have common points. Usually the first loves carry a trace of a certain toxicity and only the second love is the real one (though this point is slightly moot with Diego, as his healthier relationship was definitely with Eudora and Ben wasn't entirely lucky in that regard either).

Also, they all found their loves based on the time jump and also lost them based on another time event. Death is also a very common part of the story.

I also find it interesting that most, for the sake of their relationships, opposed their family (in various forms) no matter what it brought - everyone would be very selfish for their happiness.

What do you think about this?

#tua #the umbrella academy #tua couples #tua ships #my opinion #my thougts #five x lila #fivelila #lila x diego #luther x sloane #allison x luther #ben x jennifer #vanya x sissy #klaus x dave #hargreeves siblings #love #the concept of second love

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eggonthemoon · 3 months ago

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How Mizisua and Ivantill is often mischaracterized.

(this is entirely my own opinions and interpretations of Alien Stage, you are entirely in the right to disagree with any of my points here)

I feel like a lot of the time, people often water down mizisua and ivantill into something shallower than they are:

Mizisua is sweet and healthy because their love is mutual.

Ivantill is toxic and unhealthy because of it's one-sidedness.

That's probably just me oversimplifying it and I could word it a little better, but that's my point here. There's more to the dynamics than what is on the surface.

And I want to talk about it.

First things first though!

None of the characters are raised in normal, healthy upbringings. And thus don't have a normal or natural foundation to base their relationships on

I feel that's super important to recognise here. How can we expect them to understand things like boundaries and healthy communication when no one has bothered teaching them this. They are left to figure that all out on their own.

Which leaves me to my first point:

Mizisua is not healthy!

Not in the slightest even. I feel like a lot of the time, at least in fandom, people will claim that as long as there's no abuse and both parties feelings are mutual then it's healthy. That's not the case here.

Mizi and Sua has a dangerous level of toxic co-dependency with each other. To cope with their hopeless reality, they pour their everything into their love for each other. They become the other's salvation. And in turn when one of them dies, the other is ruined.

Both of them are selfish in their love for each other. Mizi loved and cherished the soft side of Sua that only she got to see, it made her feel special, blessed even. And Sua purposely left Mizi in the dark about the truth behind Alien Stage, so that she could indulge in her and Mizi's blissful days of youth.

Neither of them are in the wrong for that. They only ever wanted to see the other happy but because of that, they didn't get to be truly vulnerable with each other. They were the other's utopia, their escape.

To me Mizisua is not just doomed because Sua died.

To me Mizisua is doomed because they were never afforded the chance to truly grow their relationship into healthy relationship I know they could be. One where they don't have to always be together and where even the rocky patches are allowed to coexist.

But the segyein never afforded them that chance.

Onto my point on Ivantill...

Till doesn't hate Ivan, he in fact cares for him a lot

Lots of people write off how Till feels about Ivan as "he doesn't give a fuck about him" simply because Till doesn't have any romantic feelings for him. That couldn't be further from the truth. In the artbook Ivan's affection rating on Till's page is 70% which is a lot for someone who supposedly doesn't care about him. Personally I think Till is mostly just confused by Ivan's behaviour.

He likes him but does things to make him mad.

He likes him but he steals things from him and then return them to him later.

When Till punched him after Ivan ruined his flower crown, Ivan laughed, enjoying their fight.

Till is smart, a genius even according to his peers. But when it comes to love he barely knows anything. I'm not sure where this was said but apparently his initial reason for liking Mizi is as simple as:

She's pretty.

Maybe those feelings were eventually accompanied by feelings of admiration for her genuine love of singing but it doesn't change the facts here.

Till's love for Mizi was rather shallow.

But much like Mizi and Sua made each other their escape from reality, Till did the same. Mizi became his everything because he had nothing. No happiness, no comfort, just his talent and a "father figure" with big ambitions for him. "Love" was just yet another means of survival. For someone who has endured violence for so long...would he ever begin to even consider the guy who provokes him, steals from him and "supposedly" enjoys violence, to have feelings for him?

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I think Till feels responsible for Ivan abandoning his chance of escape. Till didn't want to leave behind the person he made his entire reason for living but he didn't even once consider that he himself was that to Ivan.

Only when Ivan returned did he understand why.

And that's why I think Till can't stand looking at Ivan. The guilt is too painful. He and the guy might have fought a lot but they were friends. And he took away his one opportunity to escape this hell that is Anakt Garden and Alien Stage.

Till cares deeply about Ivan but doesn't realize that pushing Ivan away only hurt and wounded him more deeply. I think he only truly understood that fact once it was too late.

Till and Ivan both care for each other.

Just not in the same way.

#alnst #alien stage #alnst mizi #alnst sua #alnst till #alnst ivan #character analysis #i hope this makes sense #some of these things are things I've thought for a while #and others just kind of came to me as I wrote lmao #I enjoy both ships btw!#I just wish it was seen through...a less shallow lense?#I guess??#idk how to put it #ramble rumble

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starlight-archer · 5 months ago

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@netflix

Greetings,

I am writing to you with hope in my heart, to implore you, from the bottom of my heart and with the utmost sincerity, to please reconsider your decision to cancel your critically acclaimed new show Dead Boy Detectives.

This show has touched a lot of people's hearts and souls, my own included. It has generated countless rave reviews, massive online buzz and an amazingly active and dedicated fan base that continues to grow.

This series has done something truly incredible and meaningful, and I think you have something remarkably special with Dead Boy Detectives. I have so many reasons why this show is worthy of your investment, faith, and more than worthy of a second season. In this letter, I will attempt to narrow it down and list a few of them.

Firstly, a fantastic foundation has already been laid down from the start with it's incredibly compelling and well-rounded characters. Each of them feels very nuanced, natural and whole in a way that succeeds in making them all widely relatable despite their distinct individuality and complex differences.

There is a rare kind of beauty to the way that these characters have all been written and then brought to life by the cast in such a genuine and heartfelt manner.

Secondly, the natural and loving way in which POC, women and queer people are represented is second to none.

You have an amazing example of a strong and powerful female lead in Crystal. She is layered and does her best to be better than she was in the past. She is realistically flawed and so resilient that it is impossible not to root for her. She is smart and empathetic, and puts in effort to understand her friends, even when they butt heads.

The fact that her powers can never truly be taken away and that she can always connect to them through herself and through the support and live of her female ancestors is a thoroughly wonderful detail that leaves you with a deep sense of hopefulness.

Niko, who is far from home and starts off all alone after losing her father, finds kinship and courage through the support of her friendships with Crystal, Edwin and Charles,and shows her unwavering strength through her continual acts of natural kindness. She is sharp and observant, and she utilises that yo be amazingly caring.

Charles' story is also incredibly relatable and meaningful. The way that he overcomes his painful history with his parents through kindness, and does this again and again, despite still dealing with so much trauma and hurt is astounding. I, and many others long to see his story at continue.

Now, Edwin and his relationship with his queer identity...

The way in which the queer representation has been handled in Dead Boy Detectives is leagues above the vast majority of other shows that share its target audience. It feels so authentic. Something which is unfortunately hard to come by, which this show pulls off spectacularly.

Edwin's personal journey with his sexuality is done with so much care and raw honesty that it is impossible not to appreciate everyone in the writers room who was responsible. George Rextrew's portrayal of Edwin in this aspect (and frankly all other aspects) was simply phenomenal. The way that he discovers more of himself through his relationships with his peers is done so incredibly well. Charles, Crystal, Niko, Monty and The Cat King all play a significant role on his self-discovery - be it directly or through showing their support - in a way that I am sure many of the queer viewers long for and relate to.

There are so, so many people who feel seen because of Dead Boy Detectives, myself among them, and that is something that is immensely and inherently valuable.

Furthermore, the realistically nuanced way in which the show depicts the characters dealing with different kinds of grief and trauma is unbelievably refreshing. To show each unique situation and natural, emotional and internal responses in a way so grounded in reality is a true achievement. One that every member of the cast and crew should be celebrated for. As someone who has experienced tremendous loss, I can confidently say that the way these things are depicted in the show is highly accurate and resonant.

Aside from these aspects, I am of the firm belief that timing and lack of appropriate promotion harmed the number of streams in its initial days of release. It was put out right before/during exam time from American viewers, meaning that all of the teens who might have been binge-watching, were stuck cramming for tests. Additionally, while I do think that focusing so much fantastic promotion and marketing on Tumblr was a stroke of genius, not matching that across other platforms such as X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, and TikTok was a gross oversight that significantly limited reach and harmed viewership.

All of this on consideration, please, please reconsider the cancellation. Dead Boy Detectives has so much potential and deserves a real chance to grow and succeed.

There are thousands of people who share my sentiments of devastation and disappointment, but also hope and massive amounts of love.

It is well evidenced that sharing this show has created a wonderful communuty and brought droves of people together. Drives which I am sure that you have seen sharing their sorrow, frustration, and their dedication across social media.

Saving Dead Boy Detectives is worthwhile and just makes sense at this point, especially given it's role as an extended part of your well-established hit IP The Sandman, and the current proximity to Halloween, when a show about ghosts will be so seasonally and culturally relevant.

I am begging you, alongside thousands of others to bring Dead Boy Detectives back for a Season 2. Please hear our voices and restore our faith in you as a platform.

It is not too late.

#SaveDeadBoyDetectives

Sincerely, one of countless dedicated fans.

"It's not what you did, it's what you do that matters." - Edwin Payne (to Crystal, The Case of The Devil House)

#save dead boy detectives #renew dead boy detectives #dead boy detectives #dbda #open letter #netflix #renew dbda #dbda show #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko sasaki #the cat king #monty the crow #dbda season 2 #dead boy detectives season 2

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writing-for-life · 8 months ago

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The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

Or: Does Morpheus really have commitment issues?

[Bear with me, I’ll get to this panel 🤣]

I’ve read many times that Morpheus supposedly has commitment issues, and it always has me scratching my head a bit…

I personally rather think he is desperate to commit. He so badly craves a serious relationship that he is prone to rush into it and build it on wonky foundations, but he has certainly no commitment issues as we would commonly understand them.

Is it in his nature though to be truly seen and understood when he is [a] Dream? And can dreams ever last? These are the much more interesting questions in my view. Let’s have a look at the romantic relationships we know of…

Killalla: Walked out on him. That wasn’t his lack of commitment. If anything, he came on a bit strong while she was still assessing her feelings for him.

Alianora: He fully committed to her despite basically being bullied into it by Desire. And they were happy for “a goodly while”. For those in doubt: “Goodly” doesn’t mean “a bit”. It means “great, large, long.” And the fact that Alianora couldn’t go back to her own plane because she had stayed in the Dreaming too long corroborates that they were together for a long time. Probably longer than any human relationship ever lasts, because I doubt “a long time” means “a couple of years” for someone who is 12 billion years old.

And now I’ll sandwich the relationship we hardly know anything about between some random (?) panels to also make a point why I think it might sit here in the timeline…

Titania: Who knows. Sounded like an affair, and as if they both had no intention of committing. He was clearly very fond of her though, and I can never shake the feeling that we should look a bit deeper into AMND and find the parallels between Auberon, Titania (not hard, and they are pretty much pictured as estranged) and Bottom. There are many ways to get confused with a jackass, you know? 🤣 Plus, Bottom is the one who gets to play Pyramus in “Pyramus and Thisbe”. That’s the ultimate blueprint for “Romeo and Juliet”: Ill-fated love of catastrophic proportions, people are dead by the end of it. That’s why I often wondered if the affair with Titania was actually pre-Nada, and the inspiration for Shakespeare wasn’t random (it wasn’t random for The Tempest either). I mean, it wasn’t random anyway because it was a parting gift, but I also don’t think it was entirely random with regard to their relationship. Wild head-canon of course, but maybe not that wild (he also says that Wendel’s Mound was already a theatre before humans walked the earth, so there’s that)? And even if he wasn’t committed (we quite frankly don’t know if he intended to but she didn’t or couldn’t), she and the Fae meant enough to him to give them a play as a parting gift.

Nada: Killed herself after one night, but that wasn’t down to lack of commitment on his part. Again: If anything, he came on far too strong, wanted to be with her and was far too pushy about it.

Calliope: We don’t know how long they were together before they had Orpheus. Could have been a while, could have been only a shortish time. But even if we assumed they had him fairly quickly—they were still together when Orpheus, who was mortal, got married to Eurydice, so even if he got married young, we’re still talking something in the realm of +/- 20 years, and that’s the absolute low-ball-estimate. And while they had started to drift apart (considering what we know from Calliope), they were still on good terms and had no intention of splitting up until the whole Orpheus drama caused a rift they couldn’t mend. Again: That’s not someone who has commitment issues. It’s a relationship breaking down over hurt, stubbornness and grief.

Thessaly: Again, she was the one who left him and caused his dramatic interlude in the rain. Were they ill suited? Yes. Did she feel neglected and went into a strop over it? Yes. Did he not get that she felt neglected? Also yes, but that’s not lack of commitment. That’s his not getting that people aren’t mind readers (must be hard if you’re probably one yourself 🤣) and, by and large, need assurances of love. He doesn’t get that these women don’t understand they have his love; he can’t grasp that line of thinking because it is all so clear to him when he loves someone: They have him, what’s the issue? Is that a not so great way of (not) communicating when you’re having a relationship to someone? Absolutely. Is it a commitment issue though? Absolutely not.

I think Morpheus doesn’t really have commitment issues in romantic relationships—wouldn’t that almost be antithetical to his nature? Rules and responsibilities. Yeah, about that one…

What I do think is that he struggles with the mortifying ordeal of being (not) known by his lovers. Because how could he? He is Dream. That is his problem. Dreams cannot be fully known or understood. He is very eloquent but at the same time a very… confusing communicator. I don’t want to say “bad”, because I feel that’s not getting to the bottom of it. Again, it is the nature of dreams to be confusing and strange, open to (mis)interpretation, hard to grasp and understand. And they also stop being dreams once they become real. All of that is true and hence makes relationships both hard for him and those involved. Is he truly not willing to commit though?

I still find that hard to believe…

#the sandman #sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus #sandman meta #calliope sandman #nada sandman #Alianora sandman #Thessaly #Titania sandman #Killalla of the glow #sandman bookclub #a midsummer night's dream #alianora #calliope #auberon sandman #queue #william shakespeare

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tiny-librarian · 3 months ago

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In the early morning hours of October 16th, having been condemned to death by guillotine, Marie Antoinette was led back to her cell in the Conciergerie. She wrote the following letter to her sister in law, Madame Elisabeth, but it would never reach her.

Here is a translation of the letter, images of the original are above.

16th October, 4.30 A.M. It is to you, my sister, that I write for the last time. I have just been condemned, not to a shameful death, for such is only for criminals, but to go and rejoin your brother. Innocent like him, I hope to show the same firmness in my last moments.

I am calm, as one is when one’s conscience reproaches one with nothing. I feel profound sorrow in leaving my poor children: you know that I only lived for them and for you, my good and tender sister. You who out of love have sacrificed everything to be with us, in what a position do I leave you! I have learned from the proceedings at my trial that my daughter was separated from you. Alas! poor child; I do not venture to write to her; she would not receive my letter. I do not even know whether this will reach you. Do you receive my blessing for both of them. I hope that one day when they are older they may be able to rejoin you, and to enjoy to the full your tender care. Let them both think of the lesson which I have never ceased to impress upon them, that the principles and the exact performance of their duties are the chief foundation of life; and then mutual affection and confidence in one another will constitute its happiness. Let my daughter feel that at her age she ought always to aid her brother by the advice which her greater experience and her affection may inspire her to give him. And let my son in his turn render to his sister all the care and all the services which affection can inspire. Let them, in short, both feel that, in whatever positions they may be placed, they will never be truly happy but through their union. Let them follow our example. In our own misfortunes how much comfort has our affection for one another afforded us! And, in times of happiness, we have enjoyed that doubly from being able to share it with a friend; and where can one find friends more tender and more united than in one’s own family? Let my son never forget the last words of his father, which I repeat emphatically; let him never seek to avenge our deaths. I have to speak to you of one thing which is very painful to my heart, I know how much pain the child must have caused you. Forgive him, my dear sister; think of his age, and how easy it is to make a child say whatever one wishes, especially when he does not understand it. It will come to pass one day, I hope, that he will better feel the value of your kindness and of your tender affection for both of them. It remains to confide to you my last thoughts. I should have wished to write them at the beginning of my trial; but, besides that they did not leave me any means of writing, events have passed so rapidly that I really have not had time. I die in the Catholic Apostolic and Roman religion, that of my fathers, that in which I was brought up, and which I have always professed. Having no spiritual consolation to look for, not even knowing whether there are still in this place any priests of that religion (and indeed the place where I am would expose them to too much danger if they were to enter it but once), I sincerely implore pardon of God for all the faults which I may have committed during my life. I trust that, in His goodness, He will mercifully accept my last prayers, as well as those which I have for a long time addressed to Him, to receive my soul into His mercy. I beg pardon of all whom I know, and especially of you, my sister, for all the vexations which, without intending it, I may have caused you. I pardon all my enemies the evils that they have done me. I bid farewell to my aunts and to all my brothers and sisters. I had friends. The idea of being forever separated from them and from all their troubles is one of the greatest sorrows that I suffer in dying. Let them at least know that to my latest moment I thought of them. Farewell, my good and tender sister. May this letter reach you. Think always of me; I embrace you with all my heart, as I do my poor dear children. My God, how heart-rending it is to leave them forever! Farewell! farewell! I must now occupy myself with my spiritual duties, as I am not free in my actions. Perhaps they will bring me a priest; but I here protest that I will not say a word to him, but that I will treat him as a total stranger.

#marie antoinette #madame elisabeth #marie therese charlotte #louis xvi #louix xvii #french revolution #18th century #long live the queue

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ihaveforgortoomany · 3 months ago

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Who do you think would switch loyalties from the Foundation to Vertin first? Sonetto or Mesmer Jr?

Hi there! (Before I start @stari-hun I didnt know that about Getian! I hope we do get a follow up to Notes on Shori, his arcanum and Jiu's predate the AS by who knows how long! Maybe he could show Vertin how to do this maybe?)

@sleeplesssmoll (credits to them, their anaylsis and speculation on Vertin and Sonetto really does help to contextualise their relationship to each other)

Alright. As for who would switch loyalities, I believe arguements can be made for the either of them doing before the other. Back in Book 3 both Sonetto and Mesmer Jr were almost at the same point, both wanted to help Vertin but felt trapped by the Foundation, dealt a poor hand that any action they took likely would have made Vertin's situation worse- it was Sonetto sure that helped in the end, but truly she was working within the Foundation's rules, the Chicago branch was an outlier.

I believe the only distance in who "breaks away" (pun intended) depends on the citing incident. for Sonetto this may be the truth of the Breakaway Incident or her being put in a position to choose Vertin or the Foundation, and I do think she will choose the Foundation first.

As for Mesmer Jr, (we have more context to her thanks to her 2.2 anecdote, but I wont mention here since Ive only seen parts and not enough to say anything). Currently I think her citing incident might be the truth behind Scot Mesmer, learning the true history of the Mesmer Family and AS. Her realisation and actualisation might be much gentler than Sonetto's, shes been wrestling with the truth of the Foundation since the incident, and really has a much deeper understanding of Vertin's plight than Sonetto (thanks in part to the AS and bring her childhood friend). Mesmer unlike Sonetto does not act out of love for the Foundation, similar to Isolde she is duty bound in a sense by her family to uphold its legacy in the AS - I think given time and high stakes Mesmer Jr will eventually follow the bellwether once again, maybe even with a renewed determination to ensure the Breakaway Incident will not happen again.

For Sonetto? Its probably be much uglier.

All her life its been a constant struggle between Vertin and the Foundation, the pull towards the Foundation has been gradually eroding away over the years the more she stays with Vertin. She already views the Foundation as her saviour and home, at the very least Mesmer Jr had a family and arcane history to fall back to. but Sonetto doesnt - the closest thing to a home has been the Foundation and progressively more Vertin and her suitcase.

She also wrestles with her relationship with Vertin, is it out of care and genuine affection for Vertin? Or a deep sated guilt and sense of atonement for those years she pushed Vertin away, guilt carried over from the Breakaway Incident. The fact that Vertin and Sonetto would never bring up these feelings for fear of hurting another creates tension.

Constantine is the determining and inciting factor: one inevitable day will come when Sonetto must choose Vertin or the Foundation - this will mean the entire collapse of her worldview for a while, maybe for a time Sonetto stays with the Foundation and away from Vertin - I think distance might allow Sonetto to realise who her loyalties truly lie.

Summary: it truly depends on when things come to a fork in the road, a inciting point that forces them to choose. Mesmer would have an easier time than Sonetto I think (by a small margin), Sonetto has years of conflicted feelings she needs to process before she can choose Vertin.

#reverse 1999 #ramblings #r1999 #vertin #analysis #forgor remembered #vertin reverse 1999 #sonetto #mesmer jr

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animezinglife · 1 year ago

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Hot take:

What I like about Elucien is that it's not the scorching, fire-hot chemistry that's overwhelming either or both of them. It's not those charged interactions that make you think they're going to tear into each other at any given moment.

They don't know each other well at all. There's deliberate distance; hesitation and control. They're a bit shy around each other and definitely awkward. It's such a far cry from that snarky, silver-tongued, sassy emissary in Lucien we're used to, and Elain's essentially having to start her life completely anew. They both have a long way to go, and they both have a lot of healing to do.

He never pushes her. He doesn't "prowl" towards her, loom over her hitting her with the kind of look inviting all kinds of temptation, or even hint at any sort of dominance with her.

Because that wouldn't be right for Elain. Not right now or anytime soon, at least.

He's trying to get to know her as a gentleman would: talk with her, learn a bit more about her. Get a sense of her interests/hobbies and things that make her happy. He keeps his distance when he knows she's not comfortable, and he doesn't cross that line. He buys her an achingly thoughtful gift, but doesn't insert himself into the equation and merely leaves it for her when things get tense with Feyre.

Yes, we all love to joke about that a fire in his blood and all its burning implications, but to me, it's his mind and self-control that make him so sexy.

I love that Elain--who's more shy and uncertain of her agency than her sisters ever were--doesn't have to contend with someone who's constantly undressing her with his eyes or making every excuse he can to touch her. He looks at her, sure, with sadness and "longing," but there's a gentleness to it and how he is with her that makes both him and them as a potential couple refreshing and all the more "earned."

It's different for this series. Slower and sweeter. It's also achingly painful as a reader, but the potential for something beautiful to form is addicting.

I just think it would make it all the more powerful when--if--they do finally truly choose each other. That foundation could become so incredibly strong, rooted in deep understanding, then friendship, then love.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not downplaying the potential for some excellent spice, but I like to think it'll play out very differently with a little sweeter meaning. I'm convinced she'll be the one to unravel if they ever share so much as an otherwise-innocent kiss.

But right now? Lucien's basically doing the equivalent of giving a girl his number so she can call him when she's ready to talk and go out.

Do I think her sisters treat her with kid gloves? Sure. Do I think they underestimate her and what she wants out of life? Absolutely, but that doesn't mean she's still not a little more reserved than they are (and likely always will be to some degree).

He'll meet her halfway and is allowing her to choose where that point is.

#elucien #hypotheticals #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elain x lucien #lucien x elain #it's been a long stressful day. let me have this #acowar #acowar spoilers #acotar

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merwgue · 4 months ago

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Nesta and Cassian's relationship in A Court of Silver Flames is often painted as this passionate, enemies-to-lovers romance, but beneath that surface, it’s built on a foundation of toxicity, manipulation, and emotional neglect.

1. Built on Spite – A Relationship Fueled by Anger Their entire dynamic revolves around anger and spite. From the get-go, they’re constantly at each other’s throats, and while tension can create chemistry, their relationship is more about hurting each other than actually caring. Cassian treats Nesta like she's an obligation—a broken project that he needs to fix, but never with genuine understanding or empathy. It’s all about power plays and asserting dominance, not love or mutual respect.

2. Cassian Doesn’t Actually Care About Nesta Let’s be real: throughout the 800-page book, Cassian does very little to show that he actually cares about Nesta beyond her physicality. Sure, they have sex, but that’s pretty much the extent of their intimacy. There’s no real emotional support, no moments of genuine care where Cassian steps up to help her heal in any meaningful way. He just lets the sex cover up the massive cracks in their relationship and then moves on like nothing’s wrong.

For someone who’s supposed to be Nesta’s “mate,” Cassian does nothing when it comes to helping her through her trauma. When she’s at her lowest, when she’s literally crying out for help—like during that hike where she straight-up says she wants to die—what does Cassian do? Absolutely nothing. No aftercare, no emotional support, just a brush-off like her pain is irrelevant. It’s not just neglect; it’s downright cruel.

3. The Lack of Aftercare – Sex as a Band-Aid Speaking of sex, it’s almost always presented as a way to diffuse tension between them, but Cassian never offers Nesta the emotional aftercare she so desperately needs. It’s one thing to have a physically passionate relationship, but when there’s no care or connection after the fact, it starts to feel like Cassian is just using her body to soothe his own frustrations, while completely ignoring her emotional state. There’s no intimacy beyond the physical, no moment where he checks in on her feelings or offers her genuine support. It’s just sex, and then he leaves her to deal with the fallout on her own.

4. Emotional Manipulation – Cassian’s Power Over Nesta Cassian’s treatment of Nesta is manipulative in the sense that he uses her vulnerability against her. He knows she’s struggling, knows she’s dealing with massive amounts of trauma, but instead of actually being there for her, he pushes her to “get better” on his terms. He’s constantly throwing her failures back in her face, making her feel like she’s unworthy unless she falls in line with what he (and everyone else) wants her to be. It’s like he’s trying to mold her into someone more palatable, rather than accepting and helping her for who she truly is.

5. A Toxic Cycle of Hurt and Neglect Their relationship just repeats this toxic cycle of hurt—Nesta lashes out because she’s in pain, and Cassian either ignores her emotional needs or meets her anger with his own frustration. There’s no real communication, no attempts at understanding where the other person is coming from. It’s just a constant back-and-forth of anger and sex, with no actual healing or growth. That’s not love, that’s emotional neglect.

6. Cassian’s Role in Nesta’s Breakdown Ultimately, Cassian’s actions—or lack thereof—contribute directly to Nesta’s breakdown. He does nothing to help her when she’s in pain, when she’s literally begging for support. Instead, he’s more interested in their physical connection and getting her to conform to what the Night Court expects of her. That’s not a healthy relationship. That’s toxic, manipulative, and damaging to both of them, but especially to Nesta, who’s already battling so much on her own.

In the end, their relationship isn’t built on mutual respect or understanding; it’s built on spite, power, and neglect. And that’s what makes it so damn toxic.

#acotar #nessian #anti nessian #anti cassian #anti ic #anti rhysand #anti acosf #anti acotar #pro nesta #pro valkyries #kiss kiss #should i do more analysis posts?

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mori-alborada · 5 days ago

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It’s hard to stop thinking, so let’s talk a bit about whether Snape betrayed anyone.

From J.K. Rowling’s narrative perspective, Snape’s storyline logic is actually very clear, and from beginning to end, he never truly “betrayed” anyone. Setting aside the boundary between light and dark, did Snape himself ever take actions that could be considered “betrayal”? To analyze this, we must consider his motives, purposes, and action logic. At this point, we won’t judge whether Dumbledore or Voldemort were right or wrong; instead, we’ll focus on the circumstances within Snape’s individual actions.

First, let’s look at Snape’s foundational motives for joining the Death Eaters, which can be categorized into three forms of “loss of agency,” all of which are either directly or indirectly mentioned in Rowling’s books or interviews.

1. Loss of agency in family life: Like Harry Potter, Snape grew up in a toxic home environment, marked by his parents’ conflicts and his father’s behavior. Within this struggle, he gradually lost the sense of affirmation that comes from simply existing—a feeling of being grounded in reality. This deprived him of a basic ability to judge right from wrong and fueled a longing to attach himself to powerful organizations and their symbols.

2. Loss of agency with Lily Evans: The term “loss of agency” here is in quotation marks because, while Snape and Lily shared an equal social standing, their emotional bond was unbalanced. It’s undeniable that Snape’s feelings for Lily were far more intense than hers for him. When Snape tried to assert control (as a compensatory mechanism for his earlier loss of agency) by saying, “I won’t let you…,” Lily firmly rejected him. In this moment, Snape’s loss of agency wasn’t just emotional—it was transformative. The emotional intensity that had once driven him outward and sought control instead began to collapse inward. We can call this process “love.” However, Snape didn’t understand this until after he had already lost Lily. This loss reshaped his personality, curbing his emotional expansiveness. At the same time, it deepened his desire for self-validation, reinforcing his admiration for the power and symbolism of strong organizations.

3. Loss of agency through bullying in school: The constant bullying Snape endured, which ultimately targeted his sense of personal dignity, led him to conflate signifier and signified, aligning himself with the complete meaning of the Death Eaters’ symbol. This alignment allowed him to feel like a member of a truly powerful, fearsome organization, beyond the contempt of others. This ties into Rowling’s 2007 interview where she referred to Snape’s life as a “tragedy.” Snape joined the Death Eaters not because he inherently believed in Voldemort’s vision, but as a way to reclaim his lost agency. He saw the Death Eaters’ power as a means of asserting his own psychological sovereignty, reconciling the signifier and signified in a way that aligned with his sense of self.

From these three motives, we can deduce that Snape’s purpose in joining the Death Eaters was not entirely about Voldemort’s talents or ideology. The anchor point was Lily Evans, not a belief in Voldemort’s cause. Simultaneously, Snape sought to find a new balance—one where he could reclaim his personal sovereignty and avoid the complete erosion of his sense of self. At its core, his loyalty to Voldemort was deceptive; he believed that he “owned” the situation and could use it to guide his own narrative. In a sense, Voldemort’s influence on Snape was positive, not in terms of morality, but in reinforcing Snape’s pursuit of self-completion. However, Snape never fully accepted Voldemort’s ideology.

Now, regarding his action logic: did Snape betray himself? Comparing him to Peter Pettigrew, who betrayed the Marauders and his own principles, Snape never truly betrayed Voldemort because, from the outset, he was never genuinely loyal to him. Even when Voldemort agreed to spare Lily’s life, offering to trade her husband and child for her, Snape still turned to Dumbledore. This plea wasn’t about possessing Lily; it was about wanting her to live, even if it meant she would have children with someone he despised. His foremost concern was her survival.

Looking at Snape’s actions in this light, it’s evident that he never betrayed himself. His internal conflict stemmed from the extremes of light and dark he constantly faced. To Snape, nobility or baseness was never the true value metric. His decisions were shaped by his family background, social environment, personal experiences, and identity. Ultimately, under Dumbledore’s guidance, Snape underwent a process of self-reconstruction, reclaiming his agency.

In the end, Snape’s reclamation of his self-ownership came through the possibility of redemption by honoring his promises, even at great personal cost. By the later stages of his life, he began questioning Dumbledore’s unilateral actions. Despite his respect for Dumbledore, Snape believed he had the right to intervene, protect, or remove harmful influences on others—an assertion of his reclaimed dignity and selfhood.

Snape did not betray his heart, which is why he had the right to ask, “And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine? ”

#severus snape #pro snape #professor snape #snapedom #snape fandom #snape community #pro severus #young severus

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matan4il · 2 years ago

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Buddie 616 meta

Maybe I’ll start with Eddie confirming something I’d already discussed in my meta posts more than once before, most recently in my 614 meta, which is that he married Shannon because she got pregnant. He heavily insinuated this to Bobby back in 217, but now he said it explicitly, to everyone, and without the same kind of weight which we saw from him in the past. I think this change is indicative of how he IS healing from the trauma of how badly his marriage failed and how guilty he’s felt over it, now that he’s capable of talking about it more lightly than he did before. I love that for our boy. ~~

Speaking of these men actually being boys, moron husbands, partners in dumbness, we got Buck and Eddie sharing one brain cell and NOT putting it to good use. Even though in the overall scheme of 911 things, that might not seem that significant, I have to say I just love seeing them like that. It’s FUN seeing them being morons who support each other in the way they try to deal with Chim thinking that just popping the question to Maddie is enough, or in Eddie supporting Buck’s dumbass suggestion of a flash mob, or just being pressed together in the fire truck ‘coz they never have any personal boundaries with each other and they don’t understand why those would even be needed (seriously, don’t think too long about how all of a sudden five people had to squeeze in the back instead of four, and OF COURSE it would be Buck and Eddie rubbing thighs together, because no other pair out of the whole team is as comfortable with each other’s bodies). This may not be the deepest part of their bond, but it IS a part of it, a consistent one, the daily partnership that’s the foundation for the big, important, profound parts. ~~

Once again, we get a demonstration of how the way Buck and Eddie are with each other is different to how they act with their other friends. Even when Eddie is exasperated with Buck, he never actually gets upset, he just tries to get Buck to focus, like we saw him in 516. But with Ravi, Eddie does kinda snap.

Buck as well, when he hears some unpleasant truths about Madney from Hen, there’s no fondness underlining their talk, as much as we know that they DO love each other and have a sibling-like relationship. But compare that to how insufferably affectionate the glances that Buddie exchanged in 504 were as Eddie did essentially the same thing for Buck. ~~

And then of course, we see how Hen has Chimney’s back in this ep, putting his well being first, but she does end up hurting him. They talk it over, and within the same ep she apologizes, he forgives her, everything is resolved, and they move. It’s lovely, but think about the difference in intensity between this and what Buddie went through back in s3. Buck files the lawsuit that would stop him from seeing Eddie in 304. Then the very reserved Eddie has a public meltdown, in the middle of a store, and right in front of his colleagues, because he can’t deal with Buck not being in his life. In fact, that’s the final straw that makes Eddie turn to street fighting. Not only that, because the intensity of his feelings overwhelms him, he doesn’t even directly express his hurt, he uses Chris to convey how much Eddie himself is missing Buck. When Buck realizes just how much pain he unintentionally caused, he wants to apologize, but Eddie is too hurt to be able to hear him out right away. It’s only in 306 that they finally talk, Eddie forgives Buck and then we get the beauty of their hug. But this is STILL not the final piece, no. The show will get back to this in the kitchen scene in 309, where Buck shows Eddie he’s worth apologizing to a second time (even though he’s not even asking Buck to), and the final shot of this is the domestic image of Buddifer on the couch, playing video games together. This is when we know that all is TRULY forgiven, when we get to see them once more as a family unit. Because that’s what they are on top of being best friends, like Hen and Chimney. ~~

I’ll point out that Madney and Buddie paralleling is not new. This has been an ongoing theme since Buck and Chim’s new love interests were both introduced in 201, and since Madney got their onset in 206. The very fact that Maddie thinking Chim’s cute is revealed through a dialogue between the Buckley siblings that also indicates Buck sees Eddie in the same light says it all. I have also gone on about how Buck and Maddie served as truth tellers, voicing their sibling’s crush back to them, I have talked about how Madney were friends first, incredibly domestic friends with their own intertwined routine, before they became explicitly romantic, I wrote a whole meta post about the parallels between Madney and Buddie in 512, and now I can add to this. Because Madney easily fell into the comfort of domestic life, Chim told us this week that got in the way of them stopping to make their commitment official. That’s in a sense Buddie’s story, too. They’ve been building their lives and family unit together without even clocking that they can and should stop to figure out what this thing between them is, and commit to it.

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ ~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ I’m so thankful to the amazing @whosoldherout for the meta gifs she does each week! They’re always challenging, and you always manage to knock it out of the park!

~~ Thank you to anyone supporting these meta posts. I could never express enough how grateful I am and that they continue to exist thanks to you!

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #buddieedit #911edit #madney #911 spoilers #wm #buddie gifs #buddie edit #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

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wingedshadowfan · 16 days ago

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‘so long as caitlyn was truly there to help. and if she wasn't, she believed jinx could kill her and, well, vi probably thought in that case she had it coming. by not telling her jinx would be there, she basically sentenced caitlyn to death at the hands of her sister if caitlyn didn't do her part of the plan.’

So you think vi was fine with jinx killing cait if she didn’t prove herself, that she would have it coming? I think you have a good point and it makes me see vi in a different light cause i never saw cait sentencing vi to death no matter what

thank you sm for this question, I'll try my best to explain my thought process!!

i did fear for a while that this interpretation of mine was taking it too far, but i sincerely believe two things:

vi loves caitlyn (and i even argue she knows caitlyn loves her back, despite their fallout) but caitlyn is not family. and family is everything.

vi's family was forged in the dirt, hunger and violence of the undercity over her foundational years spent in adversity and oppression. family is to be lead and protected at all costs (whether it's by vander or by vi, whom he taught this). vi has grown up so much and become who she is only to be able carry the responsibility for her family's safety - remember, she's only so good at keeping her family safe bcuz she's terrified of losing it. this is what made her who she is. it's everything to her.

caitlyn, romantic love, although also in similar conditions, was forged in the first days of vi's freedom, when she was still looking for her family, her true purpose, and is thus something deeply personal to her. it's a luxury and an indulgence bcuz while vi deeply cares for her, she doesn't necessarily lead caitlyn or feel responsibility for her the same way she does for her family. she believes (or thinks it'll be less painful to believe) that, like most good things, this love isn't here to stay ("oil and water"). it's just a thing she can allow herself for a bit before she gets to her family (powder) again. she does grow more attached to caitlyn, and i think she's the closest to seeing caitlyn as smth at the same level of family somwhere between cassandra's death and before their fight - that's where it all crumbles.

vi decidedly doesn't want caitlyn dead but if she had to choose between jinx killing caitlyn and caitlyn harming their family (again, now), she wouldn't think twice.

but then i think abt how vi has chosen jinx at the risk of disastrous consequences before (and she does it again after too), in fact, she's chosen jinx above everything - and an enormous part of why she forgives caitlyn is that caitlyn shows vi she understands and respects this before the jail sex scene. i think choosing jinx, choosing family, is an incredibly foundational part of vi's character that she only started dismantling in that very scene: vi chose caitlyn, yes, but in that vi also chose herself.

this is why i feel like at the edge of the noxian camp, having just reunited w/ caitlyn who she no longer really trusts, and left jinx to keep watch of vander at the commune, she'd trust jinx's judgement abt caitlyn (again, seeing how "stable" jinx was in the tunnels and in the commune now that she's w/out silco's influences and w/ isha instead)

if caitlyn simply betrays vi again and doesn't do anything to help, stays aside or remains neutral when singed and rictus attempt to take vander, that's a fool me twice, and vi would blame herself for it. but if caitlyn actively tries to harm her family (jinx/vander/perhaps even isha) now that vi is so close to finally having it back again, i think it would leave vi no choice but to let caitlyn go for good. she might still mourn her after jinx kills her, but she'd know it's for the best since she might think caitlyn had changed too much from the person vi fell in love with and was beyond saving from her own desire for revenge. i think in that moment vi chose family - and in this i can't help thinking of the look she casts caitlyn when she reunites w/ jinx, vander, and isha in their group hug/nuzzle situation

vi also tells jinx, he's your father too, and invites her in, additionally showing caitlyn how she feels abt jinx despite everything jinx has done and you can see the gears turning in caitlyn's head (perhaps loving someone despite such crimes seems unthinkable to caitlyn, but caitlyn didn't grow up in zaun where ppl have to stick together and do what it takes and fight to survive, where no one gets left behind)

it all screams: this is me, this is my family, they're everything to me and they will always come first for me

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