#she hugs me a lot. and i do hug her back too. love it
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→ “cherry on top.” || jang wonyoung x reader fic.
— gifting your girlfriend a beautiful (and expensive) necklace was going to be the perfect way to end the last night of your winter getaway but with the necklace being forgotten all the way back to your shared apartment, wonyoung decides on the next best thing…
word count: 3.7k.
dynamic: dom!jang wonyoung x sub!actress!reader.
warnings: age gap, reader is older, lots of biting and marking, fingering, mommy kink, praise kink, hair pulling, reader being an actress doesn't really play a big part lol, wonyoung is down horrendous, wony is also lowkey into pain like whoa!
requested?: nope.
a/n: fun fact, i wanted to drop this fic around/on christmas but ofc, i didn’t have enough time so i just made it winter-themed instead 😭 i would have loved to actually drop something from my wip list that's actually been there for a while but since this ended up being a short one, i decided to go with it instead! i hope you guys like it though! i know it's not my best work ever BUT this will be a nice little step to get me back to my writing machine roots 😎😎
“i really don’t know why i’m doing all of this. it’s really nothing special,” you shared a giggle with your girlfriend, wonyoung, as you guided her along the hallways. you made her wear your favorite sleeping mask to completely obscure her vision for the sole reason of surprising her with what you have spent quite a bit of time setting up earlier in the afternoon. wonyoung, despite her excitement, takes her next steps carefully. she didn’t want a stupid incident to take attention away from what you so obviously worked hard on. “but i think this is the best way to end our little trip.” you halted her steps, giving her a soft kiss from behind her shoulder and finally lifting up the mask.
wonyoung blinks several times to have her eyes adjust to the lights that illuminated the lodge. what she saw in the living room area was a humble picnic set up! soft sheets lay on the center of the room (wonyoung noticed that you pushed the coffee table aside for space) accompanied with a few pillows, a wicker basket filled with pasties, wine, and other snacks was sitting right beside it along with a bouquet of pink tulips, and right on the sheets was your laptop with Clueless more than ready to start playing.
“oh, unnie, this is wonderful!” wonyoung whips around and squeezes you for a tight hug. you returned the embrace with the same amount of love, even going as far as to giving a kiss to the side of her head. wonyoung proceeded on tugging you over at your little set-up and sat you down. one would think that you ended world hunger with the way her eyes shined as she stared at you. you tried to ignore that sinking feeling in your stomach—guilt. because as lovely as this was, this trip should not be ending like this. you had something far better planned! but you should have expected with the way you and wonyoung rushed to start the trip that you would forget the most important item that you would be gifting her—the prettiest diamond necklace that even made a successful and rich actress like yourself sweat with how expensive it was.
but you weren’t going to tell wonyoung about the dent it made on your bank account, like ever. anyhow, you realized that you completely forgot about the necklace on the previous night. you weren’t able to sleep much since something in the back of your mind was screaming at you to check your bags and make sure everything was perfect for the next day and alas, the necklace was nowhere to be found! if wonyoung hadn’t been sleeping peacefully, you would have screamed out of pure frustration at yourself!
there was no use crying over spilt milk, however. and so, you spent the rest of that nearly-sleepless night thinking up of ways to end the trip on a good note even without the necklace. a cute indoor picnic was the idea you liked the most, and now that you’ve seen how much wonyoung appreciates it, perhaps the idea wasn’t too bad. the next problem to tackle was explaining all the trouble you went through to set this all up to wonyoung, but maybe that should be saved for until you’re both too buzzed to care about anything else.
“i hope you don’t think this is boring compared to everything we’ve been doing for the past week, love.” you said as you filled up two glasses with wonyoung’s favorite white wine. (upon noticing this, wonyoung couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. maybe it was painfully simple of her to fawn over the fact that you remembered her favorite drink because it was the bare minimum considering you’ve been dating for years now, but it is as they say: it’s the little things! so, do pardon wonyoung for falling in love with you just a little bit deeper.) a surprised sound escapes your lips when you feel your girlfriend pressing her lips on your jawline, but then you laugh at how her hair tickled your skin.
when wonyoung leaned back and saw that she left a faint kiss mark on your jawline, she let out a satisfied smile. “what do you mean? this is lovely, unnie.” wonyoung can’t even remember all the times she has wished for one relaxing day with you, so she was beyond thankful that she had a whole week of just that. with her being a bigger idol than ever and you jumping from project to project, naturally neither of you had too much time to be together recently. but at least you were luckier than most celebrity couples who can’t even see each other at all! mostly because of their management that just refuses to give them time together. you and wonyoung were blessed with family, friends, and teams that supported your relationship so both of you made sure to enjoy this little trip with everything it had to offer.
“well, between skiing, having lunch in an observation deck atop the mountain, seeing the northern lights, and a picnic with some movies, which one would be more appealing to you?” you asked, leaning back on the pillows. almost automatically, you wrapped a single arm around wonyoung’s waist and pulled her closer to you.
“anything’s good with me as long as i’m with you. how’s that?” wonyoung replies with a grin, knowing she successfully made you cringe in your seat.
you laughed, shaking your head. “ew. cornball.”
the next three hours were a blur. thanks to wonyoung who was clearly having the time of her life, the two bottles of wine were finished relatively quickly. she had begged you to get just one more bottle, using everything in her power to convince you from fluttering her eyelashes, pouting, kissing you, and whispering naughty promises in your ear. as much as you didn’t want to wake up with a hangover, you couldn’t resist wonyoung. especially when all you could see in her eyes every time you looked at her was love!
surprisingly enough, wonyoung was… quiet. when she gets drunk, she’s usually so chatty and giggly. laughing at everything and nothing, sometimes she even turns into a whole pervert! inappropriate comments and all! but tonight, it seems like being in your embrace, basking in your scent, and listening to your heartbeat as she lay her head on your chest was everything she needed to be content. you turn your head steadily towards her, careful not to startle her away from your warmth. her eyes were closed and her breathing had slowed and gotten… heavier? was she asleep? well! that wasn’t how you expected your picnic night to go.
that is until you felt fingers sneak inside your hand-knit sweater, as well as plump lips pressed against your collarbone. a whimper accidentally escapes your lips at the cold sensation of wonyoung’s hand, and you can just tell that that was a sound you should not have allowed to come out of your mouth.
“you’re so sweet, (y/n)-unnie,” wonyoung was positively drunk! her cheeks were glaringly pink and a lazy smile spread across her face while she looked up at you from your shoulder. gods, she was adorable. but you didn’t have the time to revel in that fact when she suddenly straddles your lap, her long legs wrapping around your waist and keeping you in place. with nowhere to go, you were forced to look up at her this time. “planning this entire vacation behind my back, paying for everything and strongly refusing whenever i offered, giving me the best getaway of my life… why are you so perfect?”
“it’s what you deserve, wonyoung-ah.” your reply fell from your lips smoothly as if it was the only right answer to her question. and it really was.
wonyoung playfully rolled her eyes, “so do you. but i got distracted by how much thought you put into this entire vacation that i couldn’t think up of anything to make it up to you! except for one thing, of course…” you didn’t miss how wonyoung’s tongue swiftly brushed across her upper lip and how her smile now turned into something akin to a sly grin. her eyes spelled out her plan without needing the help of her words to which you adorably and pathetically blushed at upon realization.
“n-not everything is perfectly planned… i mean, this really wasn’t how i wanted to spend our last night here together! i was going to take you to the nearby town, have a candlelit dinner with the prettiest view of the frozen river and the snowy mountains, and… i was going to give you a—”
“—a necklace, right?” wonyoung cuts you off. (on the night you found out that the necklace was nowhere to be found, wonyoung was woken up by the sounds of your frustrated and heartbroken rants to one of your friends over the phone. you had no idea she heard everything. she made sure to hold you extra tight when you returned to bed in hopes of making you feel better. and naturally, it worked.) you pouted as you nod your head, once again feeling sad about how careless you were on the day you both set off on your vacation.
“i couldn’t believe i forgot to grab it… and i didn’t realize that i never brought it with us until yesterday! so you can imagine the stress i was under this entire day while i tried to set this all up!” you sighed deeply after your little rant. you pulled wonyoung close, putting your head in her chest as she consoled you. she couldn’t hold her laughter due to the sheer amount of cuteness aggression she was feeling over your whining, but she made sure to pat your back and kiss the top of your head.
“that explains why you abruptly left me by myself in the skating rink this afternoon! and why you came back all disheveled and out of breath! oh, unnie…” wonyoung only laughs harder when you tighten your hold around her waist—you were clearly embarrassed by your antics from earlier, but wonyoung thinks it’s so cute. you were older and wiser than her, but there are days where your childish and adorable side slips out and wonyoung thinks it’s so, so charming. and the way you don’t realize it makes it all ten times better. makes you ten times more… desirable. irresistible.
wonyoung starts to kiss you from your forehead, your nose, your cheek, your jawline… until she finally reaches your neck where she liked to just take you in and relish at how you shuddered at her actions, “necklace or not, the night would have ended up exactly the same… you did all this for me, and i would love to do things for you in return. many things.” you don’t realize that she reached behind you and undid the perfect ribbons she herself tied up for you. not until you felt her fingers drag across your now exposed skin while simultaneously giving your neck the softest kisses you’ve ever received.
“will you let me?”
she didn’t even need to ask. and she didn’t need to hear an answer from you. kissing her with never-before-seen passion was enough of a confirmation from you. wonyoung appreciates how you always allowed her to have control whenever things escalated. both of you knew you were too clueless about all this, but fortunately wonyoung wasn’t.
and thank heavens for that.
wonyoung tugs gently on your hair with one hand and holds your jaw tightly with the other, deepening the kiss, practically shoving her tongue inside your mouth and establishing dominance early on just because she so loves feeling the moment you submit to her. it happens when your shoulders relax, your hands fall on her thighs, and your hips desperately grind towards hers to quench your thirst. it’s a massive ego boost and if it wasn’t for you, wonyoung would feed on it until it consumed her… but she doesn’t allow that to happen. not anymore.
you deserve the utmost care and love and that was what she wanted to give you. what she will give you.
“mmhn.. wonyoung…” who would’ve thought that the brilliant young actress that the entire nation adores for her kind heart, bright-as-the-stars smile and unrivaled poise would elicit such sounds for a lover? but then again, jang wonyoung is not just any lover, is she?
wonyoung pulls your top over your head and tosses it elsewhere. she refused to believe that it was the wine that made you look a thousand times more delectable than usual, but rather, she accepted that you were just that stunning. with your hair unkempt in the most perfect way, your lip tint a mess on your face, chest heaving up and down, eyes clouded with longing… and the cherry on top? seeing that you were wearing the bra that wonyoung got you a few months back.
the younger girl bites her bottom lip at the sight, “please, have some patience.” whether wonyoung said that to you or to her very own hunger for you was unclear. she repositions herself so that she was now on all fours, her lips attached to yours once again but now… you had her hands on her. you wanted to feel her skin on yours, but wonyoung had plans of her own. she ignores your needy whines and your desperate attempts to undress her with great difficulty and continues on making a mess of your mind using her lips alone.
eventually, you were sitting on the couch while wonyoung was on her knees in front of you. your bra had been cast aside as well, leaving you fully topless. what a sight to behold, really. wonyoung spots a faint hickey on your collarbone, the one that she remembers putting there herself when she couldn’t help it after you both arrived at the lodge. there was another one on your shoulder which looked a lot more recent—that was from when she dragged you into the shower with her two days ago, and she was particularly proud of that one too!
you held wonyoung’s stare as her hand traveled slowly from your chest to your stomach. she was teasing you. enticing you to make a desperate action just so she can shut it down and hear you beg… but you know her game, and you don’t feel like playing it this time. besides, she asked you to ‘have some patience’! you weren’t one to disobey when she asked so nicely.
lifting your hips, wonyoung successfully got your shorts off of you and left them to fall at your ankles. “aww, you’re all ready for me.” wonyoung said smugly, staring at the wet spot on your underwear. add that to the list of things wonyoung finds so adorable about you; you can get riled up so easily, it’s sometimes unbelievable. and yet, you were never too needy and would rather wait for wonyoung to initiate something. she almost hated how patient you can really be, but hey, she was the one who asked for it!
“a-are you sure we should be doing this without closing the c-curtains—i mean, what if someone… some…” your words trail off, having been distracted with the way wonyoung gently presses her fingertips against your clothed clit and rubs very slow circles on it. and all of a sudden you didn’t care anymore. the mild shrubbery in front of the lodge was enough of a cover, you suppose.
“hm? what was that, unnie?”
“nothing.. noth—ah!” you squeak after wonyoung unexpectedly pressed hard on your clit, but cover your mouth immediately. but it’s not like anyone would hear, anyway. all of the other lodges are quite a distance away and you would have to be screaming for them to hear you and that, wonyoung feels, is quite timely because that was exactly what she wanted to do. as if it wasn’t obvious already, wonyoung has been a lot more head-over-heels for you than usual. she truly believes that she was falling in love with you all over again and the last time that happened, wonyoung had to run after you as you were leaving an event just to tell you about all about the feelings she has had for you. of course, that led to the wonderful relationship you have now… but just what else can wonyoung do this time?
“come here.” she pulls you in for a kiss. it was softer this time but it wasn’t any less passionate than the last. it almost felt like a reminder that even though her heart was on fire, wonyoung will still take care of you and you know what? that was basically the only reassurance that you needed to completely submit.
soon enough, your panties joined the pile of your clothes on the ground. wonyoung had started attacking your neck, her lips latching onto every inch of your skin and leaving lovely red marks in her wake. you’d tell her to be careful not to make them too red, or not to leave too much if it didn’t feel so good, if the way wonyoung’s fingers wasn’t so distracting with just how much she was teasing you. oh, to hell with it—you start grinding against her hand, paying no mind to how wonyoung couldn’t help but break into a smile while she worked her lips down to your chest. she wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you as close as you can be to her before catching one of your nipples in her mouth.
your hands dig through wonyoung’s beautiful hair while your moans fill the warm, empty air. it was getting harder and harder to pay attention to anything at this point. all you can hear was wonyoung’s soft moans and heavy breathing, and it reminded you of how much you would have loved to switch roles and please her yourself, but wonyoung was sweet enough to take charge and you need this. “mmn… mommy, open up for me… please?” the younger girl whispered against your skin. you lift one leg up, giving wonyoung all the access she wanted and more.
you leaned further back on the cushions of the couch as wonyoung inserted two fingers inside you. she was slow, careful. she always gave you chances to back out if you didn’t feel comfortable enough to do any of this with her. and once she knew that you truly wanted this, she allowed herself to relax and start her work. although, her steady pace didn’t last long—each second that passed, she only thrusted faster, wanting to hear you moan over and over again. she kept glancing up from your chest, looking at your expressions and smiling to herself while she alternated between sucking on your tits and leaving marks all over them. not having had enough of it all, you started rocking your hips towards the younger girl’s hand, desperately chasing after even more pleasure.
occasionally, wonyoung would wince at how hard you tugged at her hair. she knows you don’t do it on purpose and she does like it, plus it gives her reason to, say, ‘get back at you’ by biting your skin and making you wince. and it was when she bit on your collarbone that you moaned her name wonderfully. pride surges within wonyoung. more, she wanted, and faster she went. her fingers reached deeper than they ever have before and out of your mouth came sounds wonyoung was hearing for the first time, so she kept it up.
“tell me,” wonyoung says. you hear her, but you don’t respond. “am i doing goo—mmpf!” you silenced wonyoung by quickly pulling her hair and crashing your lips together. your free hand clutches on her shoulders for dear life, your nails digging into the skin exposed by her off-shoulder blouse.
“yes…! hmnn… you’re being so good, love…” you answered as your lips briefly parted hers. wonyoung, overwhelmed by adrenaline, moans at the praise. she was soaking wet herself; her core ached for attention and your praises, your lips, and your tightness wasn’t making anything easy for her. but oh, sweet and selfless wonyoung wouldn’t stop pleasing you just as you’re about to reach your climax just so she can get off instead. she hides her face on the crook of your neck, now stimulating your clit with her thumb and driving you into a frenzy.
“i love you so much, unnie… i’ll make it up to you properly later on but—hah… but for now,” wonyoung releases your waist from her hold and places her hand behind your other thigh before pushing your leg back. “cum for me.” she mutters right against your ear. a shiver runs down your spine before you succumb and the knot in your stomach breaks. wonyoung held you as you came, trying her very hardest not to cum with you because not only will that be embarrassing but also because surely you would tease her for cumming untouched!
wonyoung pulled her fingers out of you once you were calm again. you smile at her as you didn’t have the energy to speak just yet… nor did you have the energy to do anything else at all. while wonyoung was busy cleaning up her fingers (using her mouth, naturally), you just so happened to notice that she had her legs closed a bit too tightly, and her face was flushed way beyond normal. and then, you knew. your poor, darling angel needed you too!
you went on to move yourself back down on the mattress on the floor, then, you took a hold of wonyoung’s sleeve and pulled her down with you as you lay yourself down on your back. wonyoung was confused, albeit being totally into whatever you were planning. it was when you slid a leg in between her thighs and pressed it against her throbbing core that she knew. and oh, was she ready.
you tucked wonyoung’s hair behind her ear, and warmth blooms inside your chest when she smiles at you, “let’s make this night last, wonyoung-ah.” you mumbled as you placed a soft kiss on her nose.
“whatever you want, my love.”
well, turns out you really didn’t need that necklace, after all.
#ive smut#ive x reader#ive imagines#ive x fem reader#ive scenarios#jang wonyoung smut#jang wonyoung x reader#jang wonyoung x fem reader#jang wonyoung imagines#jang wonyoung scenarios#wonyoung smut#wonyoung x reader#wonyoung x fem reader#wonyoung scenarios#wonyoung imagines#girl group smut#girl group x reader#girl group imagines#girl group scenarios#girl group x fem reader
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SO IT GOES - chapter 5
Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, sexual themes and language, drinking, not my best work lol Wordcount: 6.6K A/C: so have we come up with a shipname for zari and paige yet?? anyways ty all for the support and sooo much love on the last part - especially those who remained patient for a new part! i've got a LOT of stuff going on rn so please be understanding if parts take a little longer to come out! i wanna write badly but i gotta prioritise real life unless y'all wanna start paying me lol anyways, this should be a rewarding chapter to some of y'all!! anyways go read!!
-
Before London
“The skirt,” my childhood friend Olivia’s voice filters through the speaker, my phone set up on my bed as I try on different outfits for the evening on facetime.
I stare into my reflection, the black miniskirt not leaving much to imagination, my legs fully on display. I sigh, unsure whether it would be too much for the night.
“I don’t know Liv, the dress is a little less revealing though,” I complain, turning around and seeing the way the tight skirt hugs my curves.
“Exactly why you should wear the skirt instead.”
I laugh, shaking my head at her face on my phone screen. “I’m not going there to shag someone. It’s going to be mostly the team anyway.”
“Izzie, you are single now. Act like it. Have you even hooked up with anyone since…?”
I scoff. “Do you think I have time for anything like that?”
“Maybe if you schedule it in…” Olivia jokes, making my mouth fall open feeling offended.
“Hey! I’m perfectly happy being single right now. Love is the last thing I should be thinking about.”
“Well, I still think you should wear the skirt,” the girl answers, making me groan.
“Fine, okay gotta go. I’ll text you!” I wave bye, before hanging up, realising my ride must have arrived. One more glance in the mirror and I decide it will do - the black mini skirt and a matching black cowl neck top, the back draped low to reveal the smooth skin of my back along my spine. The outfit was simple yet sexy, the stacked chunky golden jewelry dressing the look up. I’ve pinned my hair up in a bun, curls falling out as if by accident - in reality the hairdo had taken over 45 minutes to accomplish.
“Good enough,” I murmur to myself, putting on my boots and quickly hurrying out the door. Just like we had agreed, Trey is waiting in an Uber, waving me over. He had sent me a message earlier asking if we could ride together. Of course I had said yes out of politeness. Though if I’m honest, I always felt a little uneasy around him.
“Hey!” I smile politely climbing into the backseat with a potted orchid in my hands.
Trey meets my smile with an even wider one, eyeing me up and down as I buckle my seatbelt.
“Housewarming present?” He asks, pointing to the potted flower. I shrug and nod.
“I didn’t really know what to get them,” I admit, crossing my legs and eyeing the purple and white flower.
“Lala’s gonna love that,” Trey nods, his eyes still locked on me and my outfit. “You look…” he goes silent, and from my peripheral vision I see the man shaking his head. “Really good.”
“Oh, thanks,” I mumble, brushing it off lightheartedly as I grab my phone which is frantically buzzing.
Paige When are u coming? I’m already here and idk anyone Oh nvm Lou and Chris are here So… when u coming???
I feel my stomach doing flips as I read the texts, my mind still swirling with how she’d made me breakfast just earlier this morning. How my couch still smells just like her even hours later. I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something comforting about her presence. The way she worked to make me laugh, to get me to relax. Like she wanted to take care of me.
Just left so I should be there soon x
Izzie Iz Help We’re drinking wine
Time to be a big girl and learn Paige
But I don’t wanna 🙁 Fine Bc you said so
Good girl
Freaky 😏
Paige
Sorry I pregamed
Of course you did I’ll be there soon x
Giggling at my phone, I place it on my lap, not wanting to be rude towards the man sitting next to me. Trey’s eyes are locked on me, and I can feel myself growing uneasy, especially when I realise I have nothing to talk to him about other than work.
”You excited for tonight?” He asks.
”Yeah, it’s going to be nice to see everyone out of work,” I answer, keeping my composure despite feeling awkward, begging he doesn’t pick up on it. I had become quite good at that (or Trey was more ignorant than I realised).
”Oh yeah, you haven’t really had the chance to do that yet huh?” He asks, his deep voice gravelly.
“Not really no.”
“Well, if you ever get lonely, you can always call me up Zari,” Trey says, reaching over and suddenly placing his hand on mine resting on my lap. I keep still as long as I can before pulling it away, pretending I just needed that specific hand to hold the pot in my lap now.
“Uh, yeah that’s really sweet of you. Thank you,” I chuckle awkwardly. “Paige lives right upstairs actually so I’ve been spending some time with her.”
Trey is taken aback, his brows rising. “Paige?”
“Yeah we’re friends,” I smile. Trey’s dark brown eyes keep watching me, clearly thinking about something till he shrugs and looks away.
The drive is quiet, full of awkward comments by the man clearly eager to make conversation. Normally I was better than this at the small talk that the Americans seemed to love so much - but not today. I could feel my stomach twisting with nerves and butterflies in anticipation for the evening. I wasn’t entirely sure why. But all I knew I was eager to see Paige - she had a way of grounding me.
We finally get to the building, awkwardly accompanying each other in the elevator much like my first day working for the Wings. I’m the one to ring the doorbell, Trey standing close behind me.
“Hey pretty girl!” Lala opens the door with a warm smile. “Oh hey Trey, come in come in!”
She steps aside, letting both of us in. The hallway is long and the ceilings are high, the space modern but filled with gorgeous furniture bringing warmth into the space.
“Wow, beautiful,” I gasp looking around.
“Issa work in process,” Lala laughs. I catch a glimpse into the open concept kitchen/living room, filled with people who had arrived on time unlike me and Trey (our Uber had taken a “shortcut”, which ended up taking 15 minutes longer than the normal drive.) I could tell alcohol was already flowing from the loud laughs echoing around the apartment.
“Oh, here you go!” I smile, handing Lala the orchid. “I wasn’t sure what you two wanted so I hope that’s okay.”
Lala gasps, admiring the plant. “No, this is gorg! And so are you, look at that skirt girl.”
I blush a little as she spins me around, admiring my outfit.
“Is it too short?” I ask but Lala looks at me with raised brows. It’s then I notice her skirt is just as short, if not shorter. “Nevermind!”
The woman laughs, wrapping an arm around my waist and bringing me further into the apartment. My eyes immediately land on Paige next to Arike, both taking up half of the couch as if partaking in the Olympics of manspreading. Their laughs rise above the chatter of the crowd, making them impossible to miss. Even if subconsciously I had been looking for the blonde the second I stepped in.
“Yeah… they’re already drunk, thought you should know,” Lala nods towards the two.
“I heard, Paige was texting me already.”
The woman turns to me grinning a little. “Of course she was.” I’m not exactly sure what it means but don’t get the opportunity to ask before I hear a loud screech interrupting the both of us.
“Izzie!!” Paige gasps, her voice soaring above the noise. She climbs off the couch, rushing to me through the crowd. To my surprise the blonde wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I can’t help the smile that spreads to my face. It comes naturally, when my arms wrap around her neck, pulling her in. Like since our first hug this morning, physical closeness felt easy. She smells like deodorant, sandalwood and a hint of alcohol. Breaking the hug, I eye her fit up and down - the olive cuban collar shirt and shorts in a matching pattern, two silver chains dangling on her neck, hair in a slicked back bun.
All while I’ve been admiring Paige’s outfit, her gaze has been roaming across my body, taking me in. I notice a hint of red burning on her cheeks when her blue eyes land on my skirt. Suddenly I have the strongest need for a drink. Our stares meet, and for a fleeting moment I think she’s about to say something. But before she can, Arike is pulling me into a friendly hug.
“So glad you came, Zari! Whatchu wanna drink?”
I feel flustered, barely hearing her. Clearing my throat, I finally answer, feeling the blonde’s eyes boring into me.
“White wine please?”
Lala laughs, shaking her head and grabbing my shoulders. “You’re gonna need something stronger to keep up with us baby.”
I laugh. “Okay, tequila soda then?”
“Attagirl, lime?”
“Yes please,” I nod, watching Lala and Arike head towards the kitchen island covered in bottles of booze and glasses, leaving me alone with Paige.
For the first time in weeks, there’s a sense of awkwardness between us, neither of us knowing what to say. I wanted to tell her she looks good, that the olive against her skin that had grown more tan in Dallas made her glow in a way I had never seen before. But something in my throat doesn’t allow the words to come out. Thankfully the booze in Paige’s system makes her miss the weird tension completely.
“You look,” she starts, stepping closer to me, arm brushing against mine. She shakes her head, looking me up and down which is enough to make my ears burn. “Never seen you look like this before.”
I tilt my head, meeting her blue eyes challengingly. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
To my enjoyment, this makes her flustered, her cheeks bright pink now.
“You know it is ma,” she grins.
“You and that bloody nickname,” I shake my head, rolling my eyes at the blonde, when Lala and Arike return to us with my drink.
“You guys wanna play beer pong?” Arike asks as I grab the glass from Lala.
“What is this, a frat house?” Paige laughs, making Lala groan.
“Trust, it wasn’t my choice.”
-
After a long debate between me, Izzie, Arike and Lala on who should be teaming up, we decided that the only fair combination was me with Lala, while Arike and Izzie played against us - the girls claiming it wouldn’t be right for the two hoopers to play beer pong against non-athletes. Honestly, I barely had listened to the conversation at all. Because the way Izzie looks tonight has me grasping the drink in my hand so tight my knuckles were beginning to turn white. My mind is travelling to the filthiest places at the thought of what is underneath the hemline of her skirt, her glowy legs making me weak in the knees. Even worse was the low, scooped back of her shirt, her spine’s movement visible as she walked around the room. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, I couldn’t even stop the trembling of my hands. I needed to get more drinks in me quickly.
It seemed like the dark haired girl had the same idea, downing her first tequila soda in a matter of minutes as we set up the game. The tension often visible on her face only to me was slowly beginning to melt away.
“We’re about to win aight?” I tell Lala next to me, which makes Izzie let out a loud scoff.
“You really think I’ll let you win Bueckers?” The dark haired girl asks, challenging me.
“Yo, who’s the athlete here,” I respond, an arrogant grin on my face but she won’t back down, catlike eyes staring me down at the opposite end of the table.
“You’re enormously underestimating my desire to win.”
“Oh yeah?”
Izzie nods. “Yes Paige.”
And she’s right. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol already flowing in my system, or the way Izara looks, her green eyes locked on me everytime I bounce the ball off the table but my aim is off. And somehow she keeps aiming perfectly, a sly grin and her sharp eyes glimmering as she makes me drink one cup of beer after another, after another until Lala is the one to call it off, admitting defeat gracefully.
Arike and Izara hug, celebrating their win, but I can’t even be mad - the way Izzie’s mouth is stretched into a wide smile, the way she was letting go off her disciplined, hard exterior as a result of the alcohol was such a joy to watch I could’ve soaked in it forever.
“I told you! I told you!” Iz laughs, coming over to me and getting up in my face. But all I’m doing is smirking, my hand snaking around her waist and pulling her close without thinking about it much. But she doesn’t pull away either, even when our fronts nearly press together, heat radiating between us. The party has turned loud, drunk people bumping into each other, yelling over the music, but all I see is the dark haired girl in front of me, and the blush on her cheeks.
“You were cheating Iz,” I tell her, heavy eyes gazing down at the girl.
“How?” She asks, stunned.
I shrug. “I dunno.” I did know. It was that damn outfit. It took every ounce of self-discipline I had not to drag her to the bathroom and pull that skirt up. How was I expected to aim while my thoughts were running out of control.
“Here you areeeee!” Satou’s voice interrupts the moment, making me stumble backwards and letting go of the girl in my arms realising how close I’d been to losing control and leaning down to kiss her.
Satou hugs both me and Iz, looking around for the couple of the hour who have suddenly disappeared. “Where the lovebirds at?” She asks, holding a wrapped present in her hands. I chuckle shrugging but Zari lets out a giggle.
“Last I saw them they were getting pretty cosy,” she laughs, leaning into my side whether on purpose or on accident I’m not sure. But it leaves my skin tingling.
“No one’s surprised,” Satou laughs, waving her friend over. “Savannah, this is Paige and… Izara, right?”
“She prefers Zari,” I correct before Iz can even say a word. From my peripheral vision I see her head snap to me, eyes growing softer as they land on me. I could tell she was happy with me, which made me want to get on my knees and beg for her to let me serve her forever. Okay, no, let me get a grip.
“Whassup,” I nod at Savannah, who smiles at both me and Izzie. Suddenly, the girl beside me stumbles as someone bumps into her, crashing straight into me.
“Woah,” I grab a hold of her, my hand naturally landing on the small of her back. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she giggles, watching me and her nose scrunching as her face twists into a laugh. The sparkling eyeshadow covering her eyelids makes her shine even more, curled strands falling onto her face out of the updo her long, dark hair is in. She looks so beautiful I feel breathless, even more so up close.
“You want a drink ma? I could use one,” I ask, staring into the green of her eyes, feeling the alcohol too much to realise that our faces are only inches away at this point.
She rolls her eyes. “Paige, I hate that nickname.”
“Do you want a drink or not woman?” I ask annoyed, teasing her. But her face hardens, and her eyes sharpen.
“Excuse me?”
Her tone is hard and serious, making my lower abdomen flip. As inappropriate as it feels, I’m exceptionally turned on.
I swallow, biting my lower lip. “Uh…”
“Woman?” She interrupts me, furrowing her brows. I can feel heat pooling between my legs, making my mind spin.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, my voice coming out shaky from how flustered my thoughts had turned me.
“What’s that?” She asks, brows rising as she watches my mouth expectantly.
“I’m sorry Izzie,” I say louder, my chest heaving now. To my surprise, I notice her breathing is growing heavy too.
“Mhm, that’s better,” she nods, eyes still on my mouth as I bite down on my lower lip. And for just a second, as my eyes flicker from her eyes to her glossed lips, I consider leaning in and pressing a kiss on them, mind jumping to how she might taste. Like heaven I bet.
“So a drink then?” Iz asks, interrupting my spinning thoughts.
“Oh right, yeah,” I compose myself, “we’ll be right back.”
We leave Satou and Savannah alone, my hand on the small of Izara’s back guiding her through the people to the kitchen island.
“What do we want to drink?” The girl asks, looking at the row of bottles lining the counter. I lean in even closer to her side, letting my hand drag from her back to around her waist. The girl’s breath hitches audibly, yet she doesn’t pull back.
“Shots! Now!” Arike suddenly interrupts us, Lala following close behind her.
“Bro where you been?” I ask, watching as she begins to pour shots of vodka for all four of us. Her and Lala exchange a look that tells me I don’t want to know the answer to my question.
“Nevermind,” I mumble, making Izzie giggle, the alcohol finally loosening her up.
“No, I really shouldn’t,” the dark haired girl shakes her head, pushing the shot away.
“Oh c’mooonnn!!” I groan, pushing it back.
“Yeah Zari, c’mon,” Rike complains.
I pick up my own shot glass, and Izara’s as well, bringing it to her lips. She’s considering, meeting my gaze, until her pretty lips open and I tip the glass, pouring the shot into her mouth as I throw my head back, swallowing mine.
“Holy shit,” I cough, making everyone around me laugh, looking at the dark haired girl whose face doesn’t even twitch from the alcohol. Damn.
“And another oneeee,” Arike laughs, now pouring tequila into the glasses, clearly trying to get us two drunk. I glare at her, picking up on what she was up to. But Rike merely winks at me, handing us salt and lemon slices.
“Oh boy,” Izara chuckles, eyeing the alcohol. I follow closely as her tongue darts out to lick her wrist, my mind spinning with dirty thoughts involving that tongue between my le-
“Lemon!” The girl yelps, squeezing her eyes shut having taken the shot. I quickly grab the slice from the counter, holding Izzie’s face still by her chin as I place the wedge between her lips. Her teeth bite into it, sucking on the bitter fruit to get rid of the taste in her mouth.
Her dark lashes flutter open, and she pulls away with a grin. “Your turn.”
I scratch the back of my neck, feeling my tongue already growing numb from the alcohol, my speech certainly beginning to slur soon.
“Yo Zari, you should let Paige lick the salt from your wrist,” Arike yells from the opposite side of the counter, earning a slap on the shoulder from Lala.
“Huh?” Izara laughs, turning to the pair.
“Ignore her, God knows I do,” Lala rolls her eyes.
Flustered, I fumble with the salt shaker, licking it off my hand and downing the shot of tequila, feeling the burn in my throat making me want to cough. To my surprise, Iz brings the slice of lemon to my lips, the bitter taste putting an end to the burn.
I can feel the alcohol hitting, making my cheeks burn - or maybe it’s the way the dark haired girl is looking at me, her eyes even more catlike than normal, sparkling in the dimmed lighting. Either way I can feel my brain and mouth beginning to slow down, yet my words and actions seem simultaneously sped up, like I couldn’t think them through before doing.
“I’mma admit, I’m drunk as fuck,” I laugh, making Izara throw her head back and let out a bright chuckle, grabbing onto my shoulder as she does. Fuck she looks hotter than usual, the hard, poised exterior breaking, letting me catch little glimpses into her internal life, reminiscent of the softness on her face when she fell asleep on me.
“Let’s run away before Arike makes us take more shots,” she whispers and simultaneously somehow screams, grabbing my arm and dragging me down behind the island, as if Arike and Lala weren’t standing right on the other side, watching the two of us. Still I let her, crouching behind it and letting her drag me wherever she wants to.
-
I love Dallas! Or maybe I should reconsider when I’m sober, but now that the shots and drinks had been flowing, I had decided I loved Dallas for certain. Paige and I have been hiding behind a corner, by the entrance to Arike’s and Lala’s bedroom, for the past hour, giggling and talking. I’ve realised Paige might be one of my favourite people I’ve ever met, the strain in my abs a reminder of how easily she made me laugh. How effortless it was to spend time with her, like I didn’t have to put up any exterior or front. I felt comfortable being myself with her. So naturally, in my drunken state, the words slip from my lips easily.
“You’re like, my favourite person right now,” I giggle, leaning my back against the cool wall and watching upwards at her. Paige’s eyes are heavy and red as a result of the alcohol, hair somehow still neatly slicked back, however a button on her chest left unbuttoned, displaying that she definitely wasn’t wearing a bra under the shirt.
“Yeah?” Paige asks, a proud smirk on her face. She’s standing in front of me, arms crossed.
“Don’t let it get into your head darling,” I scoff, pushing her off by her abdomen, feeling the muscles there tighten when my fingertips graze her through the shirt. For whatever reason I’d been wanting her to touch me all night, enjoying the times she wrapped her arm around my waist, or guided me through a crowd. It felt good to be touched, so I didn’t worry about what it meant further. I just wanted her hands on me. Like you’d want to hug a friend after remembering how much you love them.
“Why do you get to have all these nicknames but I don’t get to call you ma?” She asks, stumbling back but returning to her prior position, if not a little closer. I place my hands on her waist, having to tilt my head to look at her - that’s how close she is.
“Why do you want to call me ma?”
“Because,” she groans, looking for something to say. “Ion know it suits you.”
“Why?” I laugh.
“Because you’re sexy.”
I’m drunk. And I know it’s because I’m drunk. It has to be. But I can feel myself begin to throb between my legs when Paige says those words, when her teeth bite onto her bottom lip, when she looks me up and down. Suddenly I’m painfully aware of the swirling in my lower abdomen, the heat spreading straight to my core.
The blonde rubs the bridge of her nose. “Ahh shit Iz, I didn’t mean it like that. My bad. You just look really damn good. In like a friend wa-”
“You think I look sexy?”
It’s like my mouth and brain aren’t working together, the words just forming and leaving my lips without a single thought or action to stop them. For some reason it comes out almost whiny. Like I want her opinion, her reassurance.
Paige looks surprised, clenching her jaw before kissing her teeth and licking her lips, hands twitching as if for something to touch.
“I meannn… you really gotta ask that?” She says hoarsely, stepping closer and placing her hands on my hips. It feels good, but I want more, pushing my body off the wall and pressing my front against her. The sparks are immediate, and I nearly groan at the contact.
“You didn’t answer,” I demand, staring into the blues of her eyes. Only then I realise how blue they really are, like a turquoise ocean against a sandy beach, inviting, beautiful. My heart begins to pound, even more so when I feel Paige’s hands move from my waist, downwards to my hips, to the small of my back, and finally to my ass.
“Perfect,” she coos.
The breath she lets out is heavy, loud, but I barely register, my mouth parting a little. To say the chills travelling through my body are overwhelming would be an understatement, my mind suddenly spinning with realisation of something I’d been feeling for a while, yet only recognised now.
“Is this okay?” Paige asks, making me nod my head. When I do so I feel the blonde’s hands squeeze just a little, forcing a breathy whimper to spill from my lips. Overcome with the urge to be even closer to her, I wrap my arms around the girl’s broad shoulders and lean my head into the crook of her neck, my body slotting against hers just right. It feels euphoric.
“Baby I would leave too if I was Paige, that poor girl got to deal with you on a daily basis alr-”
Suddenly Lala’s voice grows louder as she turns the corner, Arike on her tail.
“Oh, sorry y’all,” the woman gasps seeing us embracing, Paige’s hands resting on my ass. Embarrassed, I pull away, nearly pushing the blonde off of me.
“Uh, I need a drink,” I murmur, my thoughts moving so quickly they make no sense, not even entirely sure what just happened in a drunken hue.
“Yoooo,” I hear Arike snickering, and Lala shutting her up.
Paige follows close behind me all the way back to the kitchen island, people around the apartment now notably drunker, louder, stumbling into each other. “You aight?”
“Yeah, yes. I am,” I murmur, pouring whatever booze there was in reach into a glass and downing it, attempting to calm the running thoughts trying to make sense of all of this.
“You sure ma?”
Fuck. The nickname. Suddenly it’s making my core burn, and I feel arousal pooling between my legs almost uncomfortably. Maybe that nickname wasn’t so bad. Maybe it got me so hot and bothered I could barely think. Maybe I wanted her to call me that and only that for the rest of my life.
“Mm, I’m sure,” I mumble, turning to look at the tall blonde beside me, the way some of the buttons on her shirt have come undone, the way she’s eyeing me back, her veiny hands wrapping around a bottle as she pours herself another drink, the chains on her neck, dangling into her shirt. It’s then when I realise - I want to fuck Paige Bueckers.
“Here you are, Paige! Have you seen Satou?” Savannah interrupts us, but my eyes are still stuck on the blonde next to me.
“No, I got no idea where she is sorry.”
“What about your girlfriend, she seen her?”
Suddenly my eyes snap from Paige to the stranger leaning over the island, blinking stupidly.
“I’m not her girlfriend,” I say sternly, my tone harder than it needs to be. I could feel myself getting overwhelmed.
“Wh- oh shit, I’m sorry. You two just seem like a coup-”
“We’re not together,” Paige interrupts her, clearly picking up on my stress levels rising. I feel the room spinning, my breathing growing shallow, my cheeks burning up.
Lala, who had been watching me and the blonde all night, swiftly walks over and grabs me by the waist. “Come with me baby,” she coos, her voice caring and affectionate as she walks me into the couple’s bedroom, closing the door behind us, separating me from everything causing the engulfing emotions.
“Sit down Zari, I’ll get you some water.”
I do as the older woman says, feeling embarrassed, just praying to any God that I didn’t cause a scene. I could feel my head spinning still, the effect from the alcohol still flowing in my bloodstream.
Lala returns and hands me a glass. I chug it down, handing it back to the woman and staring at the floor.
“Are you alright?” Lala asks, sitting next to me and following me closely. I rub my forehead, shrugging.
“I’m sorry, I think I’m more drunk than I realised,” I murmur but the woman shakes your head.
“I think it’s more than that, Zari.”
I look at her, a knowing expression on the woman’s face.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s Paige isn’t it, you like her?”
I sigh, not even sure how to answer that question. Not sure at all what the feelings swirling inside me meant.
“I… I just think I’m drunk-”
“She likes you,” Lala interrupts me. I take her words in, blinking slowly as I do. Paige likes me?
“How do you know?” I ask in a moment of vulnerability. Something about the older woman made me feel safe.
Lala chuckles, shaking her head. “I think everybody knows baby.”
Oh.
I’m speechless for once, staring at the wall, recounting every interaction I had ever had with the blonde girl. My friend. Could she really like me? Worse of all, have I led her on?
“Look, just be careful alright. Don’t give her the wrong idea if… you know, you don’t feel the same,” Lala rubs my shoulders, like reading my thoughts. It all confused me, my feelings most of all - and deep deep down I wasn’t sure about what I felt, my mind an entangled, confusing pile of perplexity.
-
“Hey you alright?” Paige murmurs to me, pressing into my back as I’m pouring myself more water in the kitchen after my little breather. My body is covered in chills once more by her proximity - which must be a sign I like her at least a little bit. Or maybe I’m just needy for someone to touch me. I was drunk after all, and it had been a while. But then again, these chills always occurred when the blonde’s hands were on me, sometimes even when they were not. Just a simple look was enough.
“Yeah, I felt a little dizzy. Feel better now though,” I murmur, finishing another glass of water.
Paige hesitates, chewing on her cheek, clearly in her head as I turn around and notice her expression. “I didn’t do too much ri-”
“Here you are!! I love this song, come dance!” A drunk Satou interrupts the moment, dragging both me and the blonde into the living room, not giving us much choice in the matter.
“Song’s almost over,” Paige chuckles, glancing at me as I shrug but follow the two hoopers.
“Who cares, I love it!” Satou laughs. We’re surrounded by a few others, dancing to the Drake song echoing around the apartment. As the beat fades out, I hear the soft melody of What You Heard by Sonder take over.
“Nooo, boo, I’mma go ask for more Drake,” Satou murmurs, walking off, leaving me and Paige alone.
Our gazes meet and we chuckle at the same time at the girl who just left, clearly even drunker than me and Paige.
“Fuck your mind up, waste time, I'm prone to that, do it all the time, Keep your guard up or wait in line”
“This song is actually fire,” Paige grins and I nod.
“It is.”
I take a dip in her blue eyes, finding comfort in them as the song plays, not at all shocked when Paige steps closer and grabs a hold of my waist, swaying with me. The alcohol is still pumping through my veins, making it easy to wrap my arms around her neck without thinking what it might mean. It felt good to be close to her, so what?
“What's the word? Tell me what you've heard, Don't tell me what to do, just tell me when it hurts.”
Paige sings along to the lyrics, the tiniest bit off-key yet something about it makes me grow flustered quickly, mind flashing with images of her doing exactly what the lyrics describe.
“What's the word? Tell me what you've heard, Don't tell me what to do, just tell me when it hurts, When I get you to myself, it's murder,” I sing back to Paige, our eyes meeting. Her eyelids are heavy from the drinks, and there’s a hint of a smirk on her face. Her silver chains sparkle in the dim lighting, but all I’m looking at is the way she’s staring me down.
Something about the alcohol makes me bold, pressing my body closer to hers, my fingernails scratching into the back of her neck gently, watching as her eyes nearly flutter shut at the contact.
“You be wildin', I be wildin', too, But not like you, shit, maybe a little like you, Maybe we ain't so different, maybe I be trippin', too,” we sing to each other, the blonde’s thumbs rubbing circles on my hips as we dance together. I feel the burn from earlier spread to my core once more, making it hard to think clearly.
Our faces are inching closer, to the point where I can feel her hot breath on my skin. My heart begins to pound and it becomes difficult to keep my eyes open. Paige licks her lips, leaning downwards. For a moment I think she’s about to kiss me, the distance between us growing smaller and smaller - until she ghosts my lips, turning her face, mouth hovering right over my ear, warm breath tickling against my skin.
“If he was a winner, Girl, you wouldn't have to worry 'bout a damn thing, If I was up in it, shit, I bet a pound that I'd put it down, Make you forget that you was ever with him,” she murmurs into my ear with the lyrics of the song, left hand staying on my hip, right hand coming up to the back of my head to hold it still as we keep swaying to the melody.
I feel flustered, my cheeks growing hotter and my core aching for something. No, not for something - for Paige.
“And I hate talking 'bout my stroke game, But girl, I'm giving you the whole thing,” she murmurs with a deep, hoarse voice, my body tingling and on fire at the same time.
Turning my face, my nose brushes into the blonde’s, but I’m too scared to open my eyes, too scared that if I do I’ll start thinking again, realising how senseless this entire situation is.
Paige’s nose nuzzles mine, and I can hear the shallowness of her breathing, her hand at the back of my head maneuvering me in a way so our lips are hovering over each other. I feel like I might pass out, my heart trying to race out of my chest at this point.
“Paige, Zari, I finally found herrrr!” Satou shouts over the crowd, making both of us pull away. My eyes shoot open and I see the girl holding her friend Savannah.
“Oh! Good!” I smile awkwardly, Paige’s hands still on me.
“Jesus…” The blonde murmurs to herself, looking around clearly frustrated by the unwelcome interruption. “You wanna go to the balcony for, uh, some fresh air?”
“Yeah,” I nod, without thinking. I let the tall girl walk me onto the balcony, closing the door behind us.
Fresh air it is not, the weather a hot and humid warning for the approaching scorching Dallas summer. But it still feels right to be alone with Paige, under the dark Texas sky. I glance upwards, looking at the stars to avoid meeting the blonde’s stare.
“So damn hot,” Paige groans, unbuttoning her shirt even more to get more airflow, though I couldn’t care less. I’m only gazing at the way the chains on her neck rest against her skin.
“Yeah, it certainly is,” I mumble, leaning my back against the glass railing.
Paige looks at me with something I can’t recognise, her expression softening as she’s taking steps towards me. “Fuck, that accent,” she murmurs, her hands easily finding their way to my waist again.
“What do you mean?” I laugh.
She shrugs. “I dunno, I just love hearing you talk.”
I chuckle, bringing my hand to her chest and playing with the chain there, number 5 dangling off it. Paige grins too, continuing.
“And the things you say too.”
I scoff, displeased. “Like what?”
“I dunno! British things!”
“British things??” I ask, laughing so hard my stomach begins to hurt, my fingers still fiddling the number 5.
“Like… Taking the piss!” She laughs, leaning closer. I bend forward too, my face scrunching as pearls of giggles spill from my mouth.
“Oh my God, you’re so stupid,” I murmur in a blur of joy, my hand snaking behind her head. In the haze of the alcohol and the giggles and the newfound feelings, before I can think it through, I’m pulling her down by the chain and her head, leaning closer and kissing her.
It’s heaven. Every nerve in my body is on fire. The blonde’s lips open for me, slowly but sensually sliding against mine. My legs feel weak, and my nails dig into the skin of her neck, a whimper leaving my mouth but she swallows it, groaning in response. Her hands squeeze my waist before moving to my face, landing on my jaw to keep me as close as possible - like she might die if I pull away.
I’m pressed closer to the glass behind my back as the kiss grows hungrier. Paige’s mouth opens further, her tongue darting out to slide against my lower lip, begging for entry with a small whine slipping from the blonde’s mouth. It’s like everything pent up was finally releasing, something I didn’t even know was there, bubbling right underneath the surface. My tongue meets Paige’s, both of us melting into the kiss. I feel like putty in her hands, like she could mold me whichever way possible. This is the best kiss I’ve ever experienced, I know that for sure. Jasper always kissed in such a stiff, forceful way. Right. Jasper.
It takes me back to the moment, as if for a sliver of a second I can think clearly. What the fuck am I doing. This isn’t me. I haven’t thought this through at all. I’m leading Paige on.
Abruptly I pull back for air, the taller girl already dragging me back into another kiss needily. But I push Paige back by her chest, stopping her. We’re both breathing heavily, staring at each other. What the fuck am I doing.
“I have to go, I’m sorry,” I mumble, shoving her off me as gently as I can, saying quick goodbyes to Lala and Arike before practically running down the stairs and throwing myself into a cab, leaving Paige upstairs as if nothing happened. The only proof of the night’s events merely the way my lips still burn and tingle, and my racing heart and swirling mind trying to make sense of everything.
-
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#so it goes#lilas writing#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers fanfic#paige bueckers smut#wnba x oc#Spotify
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Emmy listen- I got a great idea but I need your beautiful mind for it. Feel free to just ignore me buut like what if for a daddy Chan idea where he accidentally yells at reader and they leave? Like a nice angst -> comfort. Ugh. I just know you’re so good with this series and I just love it and you but like you more lol. Annnywaaays I’m rambling have a good day lol
do you think beary will forgive me?
pairing: daddy!chan x princess!reader
genre: angst with a happy ending
word count: 2 ss and ~2.3k
warnings: very very brief mentions of dying (not real dying, it’s in reference to a tv show lol), yelling, lots of crying, pet names.
an: saturn, i hope this is what you were looking for. i hope i did it justice. it’s still crazy to me that one of my faves thought that i would be the best person to write their idea. anyway, this is absolutely devastating. so enjoy. lol i’m shy but i’ll try to reach out to you more, i’d like for us to be better friends. :)
masterlist
!! my requests are now closed until i’m caught up !! :)
the tv blared loudly as your newest drama obsession reached its peak, the main character sick in a hospital bed while the love of her life cries and begs her to pull through.
“if she dies, i’m going to freak out.” you say out loud. to no one in particular, as the apartment was empty. you glanced at your phone for the time. you got excited. daddy should be home any minute. your attention was pulled back to the screen as the main character wakes up from her coma. “oh thank god.” you say to yourself, clutching your blanket tightly, sinking further into the couch cushions.
you don’t hear the door lock beeping or the mechanical whirring of the mechanism as it unlocks and clicks open. a weary chan stumbles inside, kicking off his shoes. if you weren’t so entranced by your show, you would notice how tense he is. how his shoulders and neck look stiff with exhaustion, his brow furrowed with agitation.
he drags his feet through the house until he finds you in the living room. you see his frame in the doorway and jump up from the couch, running to him. “daddy!” you exclaim. you throw your arms around his neck, clinging to his body. he reluctantly wraps his arms around you, squeezing gently. it lasts only a second before he pulls away.
“do you have to have the tv that loud?” he scolds. your smile drops and you feel embarrassed. you felt stupid for having the volume up that loud. you race back to the couch, flinging the blanket to the side in search of the remote. after a moment, you find it and quickly shut the tv off, plunging the room into silence. you turn back around, but you’re alone again. there’s no longer a daddy in the room. you huff a disappointed sound and shuffle your slippered feet across the floor in search of him.
you ultimately find him in the bathroom, pulling his shirt off over his head. while his face is covered, you rush up behind him, wrapping your arms around his middle. you’ve done this so many times and he always loves it. always tells you how cute you are and how much he loves you. but… not today.
he discards his shirt on the floor before pulling your hands free of his waist and gently pushing you away. he makes eye contact with you in the mirror before saying “i need to take a shower.”
“oh.. okay.” you say. you force a smile to your face, determined to put him in a better mood. he must have had a very long day. he looks away before even noticing your smile, turning to switch the shower on. he kicks his shorts off and steps inside, without saying another word.
you were shocked. and also, kind of sad. he didn’t even seem excited to see you at all. you didn’t get any hugs, or any kisses, not even a head pat. you wondered if you did something wrong, wondered if you were just being dramatic or being too needy. maybe he finally got tired of you like you always feared. tears pricked your eyes. you forced them away, shaking your head.
no. you would not cry. you are a big girl.
unsure of what to do, and missing him terribly, you sat on the floor of the bathroom, waiting for him to be done. sometimes you would talk to him while he was showering, asking him about his day. but you felt like that wasn’t the best move right now. so you sat silently, patiently, playing with the loose strings on the bathmat. finally the water shut off and a muscular hand reached out in blind search of a towel. he found one and you could hear him drying himself, before he flung the curtain open to find you sitting on the floor. you smiled up at him, just excited to be near him, happy that he was finally home.
“what are you doing?” he asked, deadpan.
you didn’t like his tone. it was cold and very un daddy like.
“i was.. waiting for you to be done.” you said, your smile faltering a little.
he sighed. “i can’t even get a minute alone in the fucking shower?”
you felt like you had been slapped. “wh-what?”
he stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, and walked right past you and into the bedroom.
the tears were back at your waterline, threatening to spill. you carefully stood up on shaky legs and walked to the bedroom. you peeked your head around the door frame and saw him pulling a pair of boxers on, hair dripping onto his bare shoulders.
you wanted to say something, but he said he wanted to be alone? you didn’t want to bother him. but he never talked like that. if he ever needed alone time, he would sweetly tell you that before setting you up a movie or activity to do while he spent some time with himself. you couldn’t remember a time when he had ever cursed at you. your mind again wondered if you had done something wrong. something to upset him. he noticed you standing silently in the doorway.
“damn it, y/n!” he yelled. “i said i want to be left alone. what the fuck don’t you understand!?” he stomped toward the door, toward you, his face scrunched up in anger. you had never seen that face on him before. he had never talked to you this way and it really scared you. he grabbed the door and slammed it shut in your face. you stumbled and fell backwards onto the floor, landing on your butt and scraping your palm in the process of trying to catch yourself.
you silently cried on the floor for a moment. your heart raced with fear, with hurt. your palm stung. you wiped your tears and shakily walked to the living room. you grabbed your phone and walked out the front door, not a destination in mind, cow slippers still on your feet.
you stared at the door handle to your apartment. you had been hiding in the cold emergency stairwell of your apartment building, unsure of where to go. you reached your hand out. you wanted to go inside. wanted to feel the safety of the four walls and locking door. you even wanted for chan to hold you. for him to tell you that everything was alright. that you were safe now. but how could he make you feel safe, when he was the one who scared you in the first place? your stomach was in knots. would he yell again? he promised he wouldn’t.. would he be mad at you? mad that you couldn’t give him space, mad that you left without telling him where you were going? your hand shook as you reached for the handle. you took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
chan was sat on the edge of the couch, his phone clutched in one fist, his other hand was at his mouth, nervously biting on his thumb nail. when he heard the door to the apartment open, he stood up abruptly, his phone clattering to the floor. he took a step in your direction. you noticed him, and the fear in your eyes broke his heart. the door clicked shut behind you quietly. you stood in the entryway, not making a move further into the apartment. he took another step toward you, fighting the urge to run to you and scoop you up in his arms. but you flinched, and took a step back. your eyes were wide with fear and hurt and he didn’t know what to do to make it better. for once in your relationship, daddy didn’t know how to fix it.
he sank to his knees in the middle of the living room, head hung low. you were confused at first. and then your confusion turned to worry, all your fears melting away. you slowly approached him, stopping a few feet away. his shoulders shook.
“daddy..?” you said, your voice soft.
he looked up at you, tears in his eyes, his face scrunched up in pain as he fought the urge to sob like a baby.
you had only ever seen him cry once, when he watched a particularly sad movie with you, but this was completely different. this was devastation in his eyes. you knelt in front of him. now face to face, you reached out and wiped his tears off his cheeks with the pads of your fingers.
“daddy don’t cry..”
his eyes locked on your palm, the scrape clearly visible as you collected his tears. he looked back to you, before gently reaching for your hand. he held it in his, palm up, examining the damage.
“baby what happened?” he asked, his voice thick with tears.
“i.. fell.” you say. “when you slammed the door.. i fell.”
his face contorted in pain again and his head fell forward. his tears splashed onto your palm and onto the floor.
“baby.. i’m so sorry.” he sobbed. he messily kissed your injured palm.
“it’s okay..” you comforted him.
he shook his head. “it’s not okay.” he looked up at you, gently squeezing your hand, careful of the scrape. “daddy is supposed to protect you. but i.. i caused this.” his eyes looked to the ceiling as he tried to stop his tears from flowing.
“did.. i do something?” you asked, your own tears coming to the surface again. “to make you mad?”
his free hand came to your cheek, stroking gently. “no, baby. of course not. you were just excited to see me and i yelled at you. what kind of daddy does that?”
“why did you yell then?” you asked.
“it’s been such a long day.. it seemed like everyone needed something from me.” he sniffled. “i just wanted to be alone. and away from everyone. and then when i got home and you were right there, i just.. i lost it.” he looked into your eyes, the glassy surface mirroring yours. “i am so so sorry. i can’t imagine how scared you must have been. i will never, ever, yell at you again. i promise.”
“i was really scared.” you confessed. “i’ve never seen you like that.”
“and you shouldn’t have. daddy should never yell at his princess.” just when he thought his tears were under control, his bottom lip started to quiver again. “you were just excited to see me..”
he felt terrible. awful at how he treated you. he felt undeserving of his title. the whole day was heavy on his shoulders, exhaustion taking over his body now that you were home and he knew you were safe.
“i thought maybe you got tired of me..” you said.
“what?” his heart squeezed, like the knife that had been plunged inside it already was now turning. “baby i could never get tired of you.”
you looked down at your injured hand, your own tears falling freely.
“i’m always so needy. always clinging to you.”
“and i love that. i really do. baby i promise that you did absolutely nothing wrong. this is all daddy’s fault.” he tilted your face up to look at him. “you are my perfect little baby, yeah?”
you sniffled, but did your best to nod your head in his hand.
“you. are. perfect.” he said again. enunciating each word, really wanting to make sure you understood.
“can.. can i hold you?” he asked. you nodded in response. “are you sure? tell me with words.”
“yes i’m sure. you can hold me.”
he sat down on his butt, his back leaning against the couch, and he pulled you into his lap. your face was in the crook of his neck and he wrapped his strong arms around you. he held you tight. he had a thought that maybe it was too tight. but when he tried to loosen his hold, you gripped onto him tighter, his t-shirt balled up in your little fists. you cried quietly into his shirt, relief flooding through you as you were finally where you belonged.
“baby i’m so sorry.” he said against your hair, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. i will never scare you ever again. it’s.. it’s eating away at me.” he rubbed his hand across your back.
“do you think you could ever forgive me?” he asked.
you pulled away slightly to look at him properly. “i forgive you, daddy.”
tears threatened to spill down his cheeks again, but he refused. “really?”
you nodded. “you didn’t mean to scare me. you didn’t mean to yell.” you said. “but please don’t ever do it again.”
he shook his head, squeezing you tight. “i won’t. i promise.”
you held your pinky out. he let out a watery chuckle before linking his pinky with yours. “i pinky promise, baby.”
your head fell back to his shoulder and he continued to stroke your back, gently rocking both your bodies back and forth. it was quiet for a moment before he asked, “do you think Beary will forgive me?”
“hmm..” you thought. “i don’t know. he’s very protective of me.”
“i know he is. im a little nervous to face him.”
you laughed and he laughed too, your hearts feeling lighter now that you had each other again. and as he continued to rock you, your eyes grew heavy, your body exhausted from the long evening. you would eventually pass out on his shoulder and he would carry you to bed, tucking the cover around you, and kissing your forehead.
he would mutter an ‘i love you.’ and one more ‘i’m sorry.’ before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
♡ pls reblog if you liked it! it truly helps a lot and makes me smile :) ♡
©hyunjins-orange-slice-too i do not give permission for this work or any of my work to be translated, copied, or reposted.
#emmy answers#🪐 x 🍊#daddy chan supremacy#daddy!skz#stray kids#bang chan#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#bang chan stray kids#bang chan x reader#bang chan angst#bang chan hurt/comfort#stray kids angst#stray kids hurt/comfort#bang chan x you#bang chan x y/n
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— second chance || emily fox x reader
[ “I messed up by breaking up with you, because ever since then, I’ve been missing you everyday.” ]
summary: After having her heart broken by Emily, the reader decided to seize the opportunity for a fresh start in her career by moving to London. Little did she know, her worst nightmare wasi about to come true. But sometimes, nightmares have a way of transforming into the sweetest of dreams.
from this request
wc: 1,744 words. | masterlist
warnings: fluff, mention of heartbreak, angst, secret flirtings, jealousy, happy end
——-
"There is no future for us. I need to leave," were the last words Emily said to me as she walked out of our apartment. Well, not our apartment anymore.
This was the last thing I expected when I came home after interviewing the local handball team, excited to share some amazing news I had received at work.
I walked in with the biggest smile on my face, and we both said at the same time, "I want to talk to you about something." Little did I know that by the end of the conversation, I’d be alone in what used to be our home.
Usually, I’m the one who shares big news first, but this time, I decided to let Emily go ahead. I thought she’d need time to process the fact that the Arsenal Football Club had offered me a position on their media team. Letting her start felt like the considerate thing to do.
What a mistake that turned out to be.
If I’m honest, I don’t even remember how I survived the first night. Curled up in my bed, crying my eyes out, and consumed by the question, "Why?"
Everything began a few years ago when we met at UNC. It started with a little crush on the athletic girl, stealing glances every time we passed each other in the hallway.
After months of back-and-forth and a lot of help from our friends Alessia and Lotte, we finally started dating. It was never easy, especially with football becoming such a big part of Emily’s life, but she always treated me like I was the girl of her dreams. I couldn’t have been happier.
Doing long-distance was a significant challenge for us. She signed her first professional contract with Racing Louisville FC, while I was just starting my first year at the sports journalism academy. But our love was always stronger—stronger than any distance or circumstances. We were supposed to be a team.
Everything became so much easier and better when she finally moved back after joining North Carolina Courage. It felt like the greatest relief.
For days after she told me she was coming back, I fell asleep and woke up with the biggest smile on my face.
Eleven months, two cats, and one apartment later, here I am—without anything. I lost the love of my life simply because she "needed to focus on her career."
We were a team, but now she preferred a solo performance.
She was even too cowardly to come here and pick up her things when I was home. The only message I got from her was:
"When does your shift start, so I know when to get my stuff?"
- EF
EF? Is she serious? We spent the last six years together, went through everything, and shared so many firsts. And the only thing she adds to her message are her initials?
It's pathetic.
---
At 9:00, I arrived at the base camp of THE Arsenal Women's Football Club for this year's training camp in Spain.
It’s been a year and a half since I made the decision to start fresh and begin a new life. A year and a half since a certain American girl broke my heart. Coming to London was the best decision I ever made.
One of my closest friends from college is here with me. Without Lessi and Lotte’s support in those early months, I don't know where I'd be. I came to London with nothing but two cats and a suitcase. Now, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
"Y/N!!" I heard a familiar voice shout my name. As I turned around, I saw my favorite defender.
"Lottee, my girl!" I grinned, my smile growing wider as I pulled her into a tight hug.
"How’s my favorite girl? Ready for today’s media day? The first one during training camp in Spain?"
She chuckled. "I can’t wait to get sunburned. You know my British skin isn’t used to that much sun."
As I followed Lotte to her first media date of the day, we passed the changing room, and I suddenly heard a familiar voice. My heart stopped. This can't be real. No, it's not real—maybe I just overheard something.
"What's up, Y/N?" Lotte immediately noticed the shift in my behavior, but I tried to play it cool.
"Nothing. I just thought I heard someone's voice, but that can't be real," I replied.
She nodded, but I could sense a slight change in her mood.
I’m just paranoid. That’s it, for sure.
"Y/N? Could you possibly anchor the 'First Day at Arsenal' segment with our new signing today? It's not public yet that she transferred to London, but we wanted to take advantage of our training camp in Spain to shoot some nice scenes," the media team leader said.
I looked at him, confused. "I didn't know we got a new signing."
"Really? Everyone knows that. Especially Alessia and Lotte Wubben-Moy—they already know her from previous teams. Funny, huh?"
No. I’m just paranoid again. I know it. This cant be happening.
---
"Hey y/n".
That's it. That's the moment I’ve been scared of the whole day. No, scratch that—I've been scared of it for the last 18 months.
I haven’t heard her voice since that specific day she left me in our old apartment. I thought I’d be okay hearing my name from her lips again. God, was I wrong.
"Since when are you here?" I had to hold myself back from laughing at my own question. The first thing I asked her after she cut me out of her life was when she came to Arsenal. If someone had told me this morning that I’d say that, I would’ve laughed in their face.
"My plane from North Carolina landed this morning. It’s not official that I’ve transferred, but they decided spontaneously that I could join the girls here at camp already. I didn’t know you were working here, I promise. I would’ve told you about the transfer."
It’s over for me now. A small chuckle escaped my lips. "You would’ve told me? What would you have said to me? 'Hey, Y/N, by the way, I’m moving to the club where you work, after destroying your life a year and a half ago. Ready to ruin your new life too?' Because that’s what you’re doing right now. You’re destroying my new life. I came to London with nothing. But not with me, Emily. This time, you won’t take everything from me. This is my home."
I slightly shouted at her. She just stared at me. I’m done with her now. Turning around, I left.
---
As the days pass, I have to admit that maybe I’m not completely over her.
It all began when we both became nervous around each other during the "First Day at Arsenal" segment, and it continued with secret touches on the beach and our eyes searching for each other in a room full of teammates and staff.
It’s been difficult to admit that I still get butterflies when she’s near, and that this chapter isn’t as closed as I once thought. Am I ready to let her in again? She hurt me in a way no one else ever has, and that’s something I’ll never forget. But I just miss her, that’s all. Nothing more... or is there more?
It was our last evening in Spain, and the entire staff and team went out for drinks at a local bar. This time, my mind wasn’t occupied by a certain brunette American.
Instead, it was an Irish defender who caught my attention.
It wasn’t the first time Katie McCabe and I had spent time together outside of work. I wouldn’t exactly call it flirting, but we always had a good time laughing together. She knows how to talk to a woman, and let’s just say she’s not hard on the eyes either, so it’s a win-win situation, isn’t it?
When Katie rested her hands on my waist, it was enough to set Emily off. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me outside. I was too stunned by her actions to even react.
"Is she your new girl?" she asked, her voice sharp. I had to hide a smirk.
"What do you mean, Emily?"
"You heard me. Is Katie McCabe your new girlfriend?" I chuckled again, maybe a bit tipsy from the drinks Katie had bought for me.
"No."
Emily didn’t believe me. I could see it in her eyes.
"Then explain to me why you’re giggling at every statement she makes and why the hell are her hands allowed on your body?"
My face grew serious. "What’s this, Emily? Are you jealous of someone who’s just being friendly? You? The one who ended this relationship, if I may remind you?"
That was it. That was the boiling point for Emily.
"I messed up by breaking up with you, because ever since then, I’ve been missing you every single day," she shouted, her voice frantic. My eyes widened, and my heart melted at her words.
Without thinking, I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers.
"Finally!" Lotte and Alessia cheered from inside the bar. Finally.
The plane landed in London. Coming back home, my hands locked with the girl I’ve always loved. This is us now—forever.
#arsenal#woso#katie mccabe#woso community#woso imagine#woso x reader#leah williamson#lotte wubben moy#emily fox#emily fox imagine#emily fox x reader#woso x y/n#awfc#awfc x y/n#awfc x reader#awfc angst#emily fox angst#katie mccabe reader#katie mccabe imagine#alessia russo#alessia russo imagine#arsenal women
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HALL OF FAME | JEY USO
Summary: An extremely shy Brianna accompanies her husband to Hall of Fame for the first time
Warnings: none
“Mommy looks so pretty!” Brianna’s youngest son, Jeyden gasped into the phone once the FaceTime call connected.
“Wow, she does! I like your new hair mommy.” His twin brother, Jeylen nodded his head in agreement.
“Thank you my sweet babies. Are you guys being good?” She asked and before they could respond her oldest child intervened.
“No they’re not! They’re here acting a fool. You wanna show mom and dad what you learned?” Jeyla nudged her five year old brother.
Jey peeked his head into the camera letting this kids know he was still very much in the room and present. His kids knew they had a little lead-way with Brianna but he wasn’t having it at all.
Jeylen giggled before shaking his head and and moving away from the camera.
“What’s he doing Yaya?” He called his oldest by her nickname.
“Sticking up his middle finger.” She spoke and Brianna’s mouth went agape.
“Oh yeah? Ima deal with him when I get home cause he knows better than that shit.”
“Mmhhh anyway, mommy let me see what you’re wearing because the makeup is eating.” Jeyla clapped her hands.
Standing up from the phone she stepped back just enough to show her daughter her full outfit. Her cherry red dress with a tail in the back that hugged hourglass figure. The pointed gold heels her daughter helped her pick out went perfectly with her dress and gave her a height boost showing off her toned legs.
“Period mommy! Look at the body! My mom is such a baddie!” Jeyla gassed up her mom as she took FaceTime photos. Jey listened to his daughter and couldn’t help but to laugh because she sounded just like him.
Although she was sixteen she knew her mom was shy but she couldn’t understand why. Her mom was beautiful inside and out and that was exactly why her and her father reminded her every chance they could.
“Thank you love. You and your dad want to make me cry tonight.” She glanced up at her husband who was already smiling down at her.
“I hear you gassing mom but where’s dad? Cause I know he got it on.” Brianna heard her son’s voice after a door closed.
“Dad looks handsome. I told him that.” Jeyla sucked her teeth as her brother took the phone from her.
“Son, ou know I do!” Jey said as Jeycon took the phone from his twin sister and began gassing his father.
Brianna laughed at the two of them before telling the kids they had to head out or else they would be late.
“Okay, I love you guys! Take a lot of pictures and send them to me.”
“We will, love you too!” The couple smiled at their kids before hanging up.
-
“Oooouuu sis! You finally came out the house! You look so beautiful.” Trin smiled as she walked over to her sister and brother in law.
“Thank you.” Brianna smiled shyly as she held onto her husbands hand. It was Hall of Fame night and Jey was able to convince her to come with him.
He knew his wife was extremely shy and didn’t like the media’s attention so she refrained from coming to a lot of the events.
However, his parents agreed to keep the kids so he basically begged his wife to come and spend the next couple days with him.
“She look good don’t she? I told her that earlier.” He tucked his lips and looked over his wife’s hourglass figure in her red dress. He was ready to say fuck the show and take her back to their hotel room.
“She really does. It’s giving very much slim thick and the boobies are sitting just right.” Trin smiled.
“Naturally at that.” Jey added making Brianna push his arm lightly.
“Babe stop.” She smiled as her butterscotch face turned cherry red. After all the years they’ve been together this man could still make her feel shy and have her blushing.
“Ima leave you alone.” He smiled knowing he was lowkey embarrassing her by he didn’t care. He loved showing his wife off and that’s what he planned to do tonight.
tags: @bebesobrielo @trentybenty @amandairene88 @kiki1704 @paigereeder @uceyliyahh @skyesthebomb @cyberdejos2 @chloeijuana @tian-monique
#wwe#black writers#wwe imagine#black fem reader#black female writers#wwe fluff#black fanfic writer#black oc#black romance#black fanfiction#jey uso imagine#jey uso
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Join Me In Death-Eddie Munson II
summary: Eddie manages to escape from the Upside Down and receives the terrible news that you, his girlfriend, had been murdered at the hands of Jason and his gang seeking to avenge Chrissy.
Guilty of your death, he decides to seek revenge at his own hands.
authors note:English is not my first language so please excuse any mistakes (feel free to correct me)
Just to remind you that my requests are open! Currently I'm only writing about Eddie and any House of the Dragon character.
warnings: allusions to r4p3 (not described in detail), angst
You knew Eddie was innocent.
At least two days had passed since Chrissy's murder and you couldn't find Eddie.
You didn't blame him for running away and hiding, but knowing he was out there hiding and scared broke your heart.
It was nighttime and a raging storm tormented Hawkins even more, your mother wasn't there since she was doing her shift at the hospital where she works as a nurse.
Unable to sleep, lying in your bed that felt huge without Eddie's body warming you even though it was summer, Eddie always had to feel your heat.
A loud knock on the door alerted you, there was a small silence before another knock came.
You stood up in a hurry and walked to the door hoping it was Eddie, but when you opened the door you only found the basketball team, the group being led by Jason Carver, Chrissy's boyfriend.
Without thinking he pushed you to the ground while the others entered your house.
“Check all the rooms, the bastard has to be here!”
While Jason pressed you to the ground you could only hear them walking throughout your house, making noise in every room they entered.
With tears in your eyes and a broken voice you said “Eddie is not here, I swear!”
The strong heat on your cheek was what made you realize the blow Jason had given you
“So where is he? You must know precious, aren't you fucking with him?”
“I-I don't know, I would also like to know”
Jason looked at you with pity for a moment before the pity changed to anger
“Then you are of no use to me”
You cried and screamed as he pulled you by the hair dragging you throughout the house until you reached your room and threw you on your bed.
For hours that felt like years Jason let the entire basketball team abuse you, they had ripped the Metallica shirt that had once belonged to Eddie but that you now used as pajamas
You didn't even notice when they finally left you, when they left your house but left you burning in hell.
Lying on your bed covered in blood, your clothes torn and your room a mess
That was how your mother had found you in the early morning when she came back from work.
While your mother cried in the ambulance next to your almost dead body, Dustin hugged Eddie's already lifeless body.
The doctors couldn't do anything for you, you had lost too much blood, maybe if they had found you soon you wouldn't have died in that hospital bed.
Wayne had found out about Eddie's death thanks to Dustin, but Dustin had found out about your death thanks to Wayne.
Dustin was very fond of you, sometimes he would joke around calling you mom and Eddie dad when you would scold him for snapping at his mother, or when you would tell him that Eddie had to be taken to me because his mother would be mad that he came home late again.
While to Wayne you were like another daughter, you used to spend a lot of time in the trailer, sometimes not coming home for four days, when Eddie went out to do his business you would stay with Wayne, making him dinner while you waited for Eddie to come back.
Now neither of you would come back.
Your mother and Wayne decided that it would be appropriate to bury you together, your mother wasn't a big fan of Eddie but she knew that the love you two had for each other was sincere.
The funeral was intimate, just your mother, Wayne, and all of Eddie's friends.
You didn't have many friends since your social life since first year was based on Eddie, and many people didn't like Eddie.
The only person who could be called your friend was Max Mayfield, which was a little absurd since he was a few years younger than you.
You met when she and her mother moved in with Eddie, when you realized her family situation you quickly invited her to dinner with you, in one of those times you found out that she knew Dustin and that you were close friends.
She didn't want to admit it but she had quickly become fond of you, even Eddie.
You both treated her like a daughter, you fed her, you both sometimes offered to take her to school, if she wanted to go somewhere she asked Eddie to take her and if he refused she immediately accused you, you were domestic, you felt like a real family.
Wayne thought it would be appropriate to wait for Max to wake up before burying you, fortunately it only took a month and a few days.
Neither of the kids could accept that you two were dead, both deaths had been so unfair that it made sadder.
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last winter break
chapter iii: “i think i’m gonna kiss you”
paige x azzi
word count: 6.5k
content: swearing, some fluffy banter, and a healthy dose of angst
chapter list: here
author’s notes: after a long wait, it’s finally here!! i wanna apologize for the 100th time for how long this took me to write. as you can tell by the word count compared to chapters i & ii, this one kinda got out of hand. but i'm happy w/ how it turned out and i hope it's worth the wait!! :) enjoy!
Winter 2022-2023
AZ: hey, i saw the news
AZ: about your acl i mean
AZ: i hope you’re doing okay p
p (IGNORE): thanks. good as i can be yk
p (IGNORE): surgery went well and all
p (IGNORE): but hey
p (IGNORE): delayed not denied right ?
changed user’s contact name to “p”
AZ: right
AZ: you’ll be okay
AZ: i know it
p: i hope youre right
*****
p: did you see the schedule
p: we play you guys
p: dec 11
p: well i wont be but
AZ: i did!!
AZ: you guys don’t stand a chance btw
p: damn way to kick a girl while shes down az
AZ: sorry?
*****
AZ: happy birthday paige
AZ: you’re so old
p: shut up
p: thank you azzi
*****
p: happy bday az
p: yOu’Re sO oLd
AZ: ok i had that coming
AZ: but thank you :)
*****
p: just saw the clip
p: hope you and your knee are ok <3
p: rest up azzi
AZ: thanks p
AZ: looks like we’re both gonna be on the bench next week
AZ: we’re still beating you guys though
p: well see bout that
*****
AZ: told you so
p: i couldnt even play bro
AZ: and i could??
p: whatever
p: we beatin you in march idc
AZ: sure p sure
*****
Azzi sighs, stretching her thumbs again where they hover over the keyboard on her phone. She’s laid out on her parents’ couch, legs propped up on a pillow, feeling utterly ridiculous as she tries to muster up the courage to send a text to Paige. She scrolls back up through their conversations from the past few months for what must be the eighth time today, overanalyzing every word.
It shouldn’t be this difficult, really—it’s hardly the first time this year that she’s been the one to reach out and text Paige. And she’s literally just trying to ask her if she’s going to a party. It’s an extremely low stakes conversation topic.
And yet here she is, practically ripping her hair out at the thought of pressing "send."
In all honesty, it’s a pretty good way to sum up what this year has been—so much more difficult than it ever needed to be.
And to say it’s been a weird fucking year would be an understatement.
After a disappointing tournament run in March, Maryland’s team changes significantly, so much so that Azzi has a hard time keeping track of it all. Graduations, transfers out, transfers in, new freshman—they're basically an entirely new team by the time the season starts up again in the fall.
And then she meets a girl, Maya, late one night in February when she’s cramming for an exam in the student union. She’s on the track team—a sprinter—tall, and devastatingly pretty. She’s unwaveringly confident, too, sitting across the empty table from Azzi and striking up a conversation with her easily. They end up talking for so long that night that the cleaning staff have to kick them out.
Things just click after that.
It's nice. It’s safe. It’s fun.
It’s sneaking into team housing well past curfew. It’s study dates at their favorite coffee shop on campus. It’s stolen hoodies and cold winter nights, huddled together for heat. It’s good luck kisses and lingering hugs before away games or meets. It’s late-night FaceTimes when there’s hundreds of miles separating them. It’s flower bouquets and greeting cards left on kitchen counters.
It’s something that feels a lot like the beginning stages of love.
And, above all, it makes Azzi happy.
There’s just one persistent, unavoidable problem—there's never enough time. Differing practice schedules. Basketball games and track meets. Press conferences and weight training. Midterms and March Madness. Conference championships and long flights across the country.
And it’s unfortunate, really, because a big part of Azzi thinks things could’ve been different. That maybe in another life—one where they met at a different time—things might have stuck. Things might have been long-term, could have worked out.
But in this life, they don’t.
After that it’s fairly quiet. Some random hookups here and there over the summer. A couple dates that fizzle out by the end of the night.
In the end, nothing she really regrets, but nothing that's as real as those few months were with Maya.
And then she reinjures her knee in December, forcing her to be sidelined. An unfortunately familiar seat on the bench with her name on it.
And then, of course, there's this weird situation with Paige. One that Azzi herself more or less created when she first reached out in August after Paige tore her ACL. It isn't like texting a stranger, but it also isn't like texting the old best friend she once knew. It's something in between, some strange acquaintance-like relationship that leaves Azzi entirely confused as to what she should or shouldn’t say.
Even if it is a bit strange, and maybe not quite ideal, she has to admit that it's still nice to have Paige back in some capacity. And enough time has passed, enough people have come and gone, that Azzi's just starting to warm up to the idea of someday calling Paige her friend again. Just a little bit.
Oh, and maybe Azzi also still finds her to be incredibly attractive.
But that's hardly relevant.
Her phone vibrates in her hand, catching her so off guard that she nearly drops it on her face. Her heart starts pounding in her ears, her stomach fluttering with anticipation—
Damn, it’s just from Diamond.
Azzi groans, clicking the notification.
diamond: you text her yet
Azzi rolls her eyes at her friend’s impatience.
AZ: almost
diamond: you’re actually killing me here
diamond: gimme her number
diamond: i'm gonna text her if you don’t
AZ: absolutely not
AZ: i regret telling you anything
diamond: no you don’t
diamond: now quit stalling and text. her.
AZ: oh my god FINE
Azzi swipes out of their conversation and taps back into her one with Paige.
Here goes nothing.
AZ: hey, you going to that stupid party again this year?
She turns her phone off immediately and slams it face down into the couch cushions, bringing her hands up to cover her face.
Her phone chimes not more than 30 seconds later, and Azzi half expects it to be another text from Diamond asking for updates.
But it isn’t.
p: yo
p: the one at that football players house??
p: maybe. ion know yet
“Oh my God,” she mutters, fingers already flying over her keyboard.
AZ: dude
AZ: it’s literally tomorrow
AZ: how do you not know
p: dude
p: ima busy person
p: my time is valuable yk
p: wbu tho
Azzi tries to fight the smile that’s forming on her face. She thinks for a minute, deciding to answer honestly.
AZ: i was thinking about it
Azzi watches with bated breath as the three dots on the screen disappear and reappear several times.
p: then maybe i will
Azzi sighs, closing her eyes and pressing the side of her phone into her forehead.
I’m never getting a straight answer out of her, she concedes.
*****
If anyone were to ask Azzi, she would argue that a cropped cami tank top with a pair of ripped jeans is perfectly reasonable attire for a casual house party in early January. The below-freezing temperatures are simply irrelevant.
It, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Paige is likely to show up tonight. Azzi doesn’t think about how Paige had hugged her from behind and mumbled, “Looks so good, baby,” the last time she wore this shirt in front of her. She also doesn’t think about how Paige always seems especially distracted when she wears her hair up in a bun like this, blue eyes constantly straying to the lines of Azzi’s neck and collarbones.
She absolutely does not, under any circumstances, think about that. At all.
Azzi just likes to feel and look good is all. She’s got the former down easily, and she thinks she’s managed the latter, too, if the number of people who have come up to her tonight is any indication. Guys, girls, people she recognized and people she didn’t—it didn’t really seem to matter. It felt like there was an endless stream of drinks being offered, numbers trying to be given out, and suggestive conversations directed at her. It was flattering, sure, but none of them had the right tint of blonde hair, the exact shade of blue eyes, the correct build of muscle she had been searching for all night.
She downs the last of her drink, crushing the plastic cup in her hands and tossing it in the trash can behind her. She pulls her phone out of her pocket, checking the time. No texts.
Lifting a hand up to rub at her eye, she yawns and scans the room one more time, debating whether she should just call it a night at this point.
And then she feels it—the soft graze of fingers along her lower back, just above the waistband of her jeans. A warm, featherlight touch, then the familiar scent of vanilla and sandalwood and a low voice in her ear.
“Azzi.”
She spins towards her quickly, her breath catching in her throat at the proximity of Paige’s face to hers, just inches away. Azzi leans back a bit, mostly to give herself a chance to breathe, and feels the hand on her lower back slide to lightly press on the side of her hip.
Azzi drags her eyes over Paige then, unable to help herself, taking in the tech fleece pants hanging low on her hips and the black fitted T-shirt straining against the muscles in her arms. Azzi’s a bit surprised to see that she’s wearing her glasses—it’s not something she does very often. Paige is smirking, her blonde hair hanging loose around her shoulders, and Azzi swears she must have gotten taller since the last time she saw her.
She manages to catch her breath for a moment, flashing a smile that she hopes doesn’t reveal the nerves that she’s feeling. “Hi, Paige.”
Neither of them seems to know what to do after that because, honestly, what are you supposed to do in this type of situation?
To Azzi’s surprise, Paige makes the first move, stepping into Azzi’s space and snaking her other arm gently around Azzi’s waist. It takes Azzi a few seconds to respond before she leans into Paige and circles her arms around her shoulders. Azzi’s heart rate picks up even more when she feels Paige’s breath being released heavily against her, the tension leaving her shoulders.
“This okay?” Paige asks, her breath hot against the outside of Azzi’s ear. Azzi hums in agreement, settling her head to rest on Paige’s shoulder.
It probably should be awkward, and it is for just a second or two, but muscle memory kicks in and it ends up being more comforting than anything. It’s a hug after all, something they’ve done probably hundreds, if not thousands, of times over the years.
They could be there for a few seconds or a few minutes—Azzi really isn’t sure. At some point she feels someone bump into her as they walk by and that snaps her out of it, makes her realize that they are still at this party and people are definitely looking. She takes a step back and clears her throat, patting Paige’s shoulder once before dropping her arms to her sides.
“You look good, P,” Azzi admits, smiling softly.
Paige coughs and looks over her shoulder for a second before turning back to face her and—
Is she blushing?
She coughs again before saying, “Thanks. You do too, Az.”
Azzi smiles appreciatively, looking down at her hands. “Couple people here seemed to think so, too.”
Paige chuckles. “Yeah, saw ‘em all lined up for you.”
“You been talking to anyone else here?”
“Nah, not really,” Paige replies, waving her hand, and Azzi glances up to meet her eyes. Paige shrugs. “Only really came here for one person, you know?”
Azzi doesn’t have to ask her who that person is—the way Paige’s eyes are trailing across her face tells her everything she needs to know.
“Is that so?” Azzi crosses her arms in front of her, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth.
“Mhm.” Paige glances around the room before leaning into Azzi’s space again. “Hey, wanna get outta here? We can go somewhere else or somethin’.”
“I guess I can swing that,” Azzi agrees, hoping she comes across as indifferent as possible.
“Aight, cool.” Paige pats her pockets, searching for her keys. “You take your car here?”
Azzi shakes her head. “No, I walked.”
Paige raises an eyebrow at her, an incredulous look on her face. “No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did,” Azzi tries again, patting her own pockets to prove that they're empty.
“You walked here,” Paige repeats, still disbelieving. “In this weather.”
“It was only, like, 20 minutes.”
“There’s no way.”
“It’s better for the environment!”
“You’re insane.”
“Oh my God, can we just take your car or not?” Azzi rolls her eyes.
“Always the passenger princess.” Paige remarks, looking smug. “But, yeah, let’s go.” Paige beckons for Azzi to follow her to the coatrack. Paige holds the door open as they pull on their coats, both of the waving their hands over their shoulders as some people call out to them.
The short walk to Paige’s car is quiet, the occasional crunch of footsteps on snow the only sound. Azzi slips into the passenger seat and clicks her seat belt on, watching as Paige does the same in the driver’s seat. Paige drums her fingers quietly on the steering wheel, and Azzi glances out the window to look back at the house they just came from.
“So, uh, where to?” Paige asks, breaking the silence.
Azzi thinks for a moment before turning to Paige with a grin.
“Slushies?”
“Oh, fuck yeah.”
*****
“There’s just no way he said that,” Azzi giggles, readjusting her feet where they rest on Paige’s dashboard. They’re parked outside of Azzi’s parents’ house, heat blasting through the vents, SZA playing softly through the speakers, conversation flowing freely, half-drunken slushies melted and abandoned in the cupholders between them.
“I swear it’s true!” Paige promises.
“He for real told you that you have ‘the shittiest shooting form he’s ever fucking seen’?”
“On God, he did,” Paige laughs, running a hand through her hair. “Coach can be ruthless when he’s pissed off, man.”
“And you wanted me to come to UConn because?”
“Oh, c'mon, Az. You know no one can stay mad at you.” Paige reaches out and pokes at Azzi’s cheek. “Not with that face.”
Azzi pushes her hand away, flustered. “Shut up, P.”
“You know I’m right.”
“Whatever.”
A comfortable silence stretches on then, the two of them taking a moment to enjoy each other’s presence.
Azzi glances down at her watch. “I should probably get going,” she admits regretfully, turning around and rummaging in the backseat for her coat.
“Lemme pull up for you,” Paige insists, putting the car in drive and turning into the driveway.
She feels Paige put the car in park again just as she manages to find her jacket. “Thanks,” Azzi starts, pulling the door handle—
It’s locked.
What the hell?
Azzi yanks on it twice to be sure before turning to level her a stare. There’s a mischievous glint in Paige's eye that she doesn't trust. “So, are you letting me out or what?”
Paige keeps smiling widely at her, not moving or saying anything.
“Paige.”
Azzi watches Paige nod her head towards the front of the house, and Azzi follows the motion to see Curry and Stewie poking their heads through the curtains, their barks echoing off the window. Azzi shakes her head and glances back at Paige. “What is it?”
Paige shrugs, bringing her hands up to rest on the wheel again. “You gotta at least let me see my kids, Azzi.”
“Are you inviting yourself inside my house?” Azzi feels her eye twitching.
“Please,” Paige begs, and then she honest to God pouts at Azzi. “Think I’m due a visitation.”
“You are actually so annoying.” Azzi leans her head against the cool glass of the car window, closing her eyes.
“Is that a yes?” Paige asks, her voice lifting excitedly.
“It will be if you unlock this.” Azzi pulls on the door handle repeatedly.
“Ha, let’s go!” Paige exclaims, pressing the "unlock" button immediately and sprinting out of the car. She’s on the front porch and jumping in place before Azzi even has the chance to close the car door behind her.
“Alright, chill out,” Azzi mutters, brushing past her and turning the key into the lock. Paige pushes the door open the rest of the way and stumbles through the doorframe, kicking her shoes off. She makes it about five feet into the house before she drops to her knees and starts petting and hugging the two dogs racing around her.
Azzi locks the door behind her, and she can’t help the smile that overtakes her face when she sees Paige laid out on the ground, Stewie and Curry clambering over her to lick her face.
“My kids,” Paige coos, cradling Stewie in one arm and scratching Curry’s chin with her other hand. “Don’t worry, Daddy’s home now.”
Shaking her head, Azzi tears her eyes away from the scene and flops onto the couch. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and makes herself comfortable.
Paige stands up after a few minutes and stretches her arms above her head, groaning dramatically. Azzi catches a glimpse of her shirt riding up and her boxers peeking out before she pulls her phone closer to her face, fighting the heat creeping up on her cheeks. Paige doesn’t seem to notice, or if she does, she luckily doesn’t say anything about it. She moves to peek her head in the kitchen and the hallway before she reenters the living room.
“Nobody home?” Paige asks, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Azzi grabs a throw pillow off the couch and hurls it at her, but Paige catches it easily. “Stop. They went to a family holiday party thing I think.”
“And how the hell did you get outta goin’ to that?” Azzi feels the couch shake as Paige hops over the back of it and settles in across from her.
She puts her phone down and looks at Paige more fully then. “Like you said, no one can say no to this,” she explains, flashing her signature dimpled smile and pointing at it with both hands.
“I was jokin’ when I said that,” Azzi thinks she hears Paige grumble as she hugs the pillow she’s still holding to her chest.
Azzi goes back to scrolling on her phone, and she sees Paige throw the pillow up in the air and catch it a few times in her periphery.
She hears a heavy sigh, but she ignores it, opting to respond to a few texts from her teammates instead.
Then there’s another sigh, somehow more emphatic than the last, and the push of a foot against her own.
“Azzi.”
Maybe if I ignore her for long enough, she’ll stop, Azzi considers.
“Azzi.”
Just pretend you don’t hear her.
“Azzi Fudd.”
When has that ever actually worked, though?
“Azzi, please.”
Oh my fucking God, why did I let her in my house?
She clicks her phone off and drops it at her side, glaring daggers at Paige. “What?”
“Dude, I’m bored,” Paige complains.
“Dude, you literally do not have to be here,” Azzi points out.
“Entertain me, please.” Paige is practically begging now. “Aren’t you supposed to do that for your guests?”
Azzi closes her eyes and throws an arm over her face. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re extremely annoying?”
“Yeah, you. Multiple times today, actually.”
“I was so right about that.”
“Okay, but can we do somethin’?” Paige asks again, kicking at her foot. Azzi kicks back, sliding her arm off her face.
“2K?” she suggests, gesturing to the controllers on the coffee table.
Paige’s eyes light up and she’s up in a flash, grabbing the remote to turn the TV on. “Fuck yes. Imma be the Lynx, though.”
“Whatever you want.”
*****
“Damn, you letting me win now, Paige?”
“Bro, ‘course not.”
“What’s your excuse this time?”
“Not my fault you keep distractin’ me, Az.”
“Not my fault you can’t keep your eyes off me, P.”
“Shut up. One more, I swear. Then we can quit.”
“Only if you win though, right?”
“Bro, just play.”
“Fine.”
*****
It’s many, many, games later—the clock on the wall having ticked over to the A.M. hours long ago—before Azzi has to tap out, eyes bleary and energy drained.
“Alright, I’m done,” Azzi sighs, tossing the controller on the coffee table and standing up slowly to stretch her back.
“Finally givin’ up?” Paige challenges, raising her eyebrows at her. Amazingly, somehow, she doesn’t look tired in the slightest.
“No, I’m not 'giving up.' I’ll literally fall asleep if we play one more.”
“If you say so.”
“Paige,” Azzi whines, pouting at her. “I just want to go to bed.”
“Aight, let’s be done then,” Paige agrees, setting her controller aside and standing up to stretch out.
“Are you awake enough to drive home?” Azzi questions.
“Me? Imma be just fine,” Paige assures her, moving toward the door. She bends down to pick up her shoes and pulls the curtain aside with a finger to peer outside. “Yeah, it’s no problem—oh, shit.”
Azzi strides over, reaching for the curtain to open it. “What is it?”
“Uh, well,” Paige starts, voice slightly muffled behind the thick fabric. “There’s a—”
Azzi grabs hold of the curtains, yanking them away to reveal the scene outside. Her jaw drops.
“—blizzard,” Paige finishes.
A fresh layer of snow, several inches deep, covers the ground. The wind lifts it up, blowing it around wildly, creating near whiteout conditions. Azzi can barely see Paige’s car parked in the driveway, a mere ten feet away.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Azzi mutters, staring disbelievingly out the window.
Paige furrows her brow, seeming to think something over for a minute. “Nah, I’ll still drive home.” She sits down on the recliner, untying the laces on her shoe.
“Like hell you will,” Azzi scoffs.
Paige looks up at her, pausing her movements. “Bro, chill. It’s, like, a couple blocks.”
But Azzi is persistent, moving to guard the door, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not letting you go out in that.”
“I can drive slow.”
“I don’t think you’re capable of that,” Azzi retorts, readjusting her arms. “Just stay, please. It’s too dangerous.”
“If you’re sure,” Paige concedes, tossing her sneakers behind her.
“I am.”
“Cool,” Paige stands, stretching her arms again. “I got the couch then.”
Azzi rolls her eyes, punches Paige’s shoulder playfully. “Don’t be stupid, P.”
Paige brings up a hand to rub at the spot Azzi hit, wincing in mock hurt. “Ow. Stupid ‘bout what?”
“You can just sleep in my bed. You are a guest after all,” Azzi points out, referring back to what Paige had said earlier.
Paige wiggles her eyebrows for the second time tonight, and Azzi considers punching her again, harder this time. “You want me that bad, huh?”
“Oh my God, stop. Look, I’ll take the couch, you take the bed? That fine?” Azzi offers, rubbing at her eyes.
“That’s dumb. You’re not gonna sleep in your own bed?”
Azzi throws her arms up in the air exasperatedly. “What do you suggest then?”
“I’on see why we can’t both just sleep in the bed,” Paige shrugs, not really meeting Azzi’s eyes.
How the hell did we get here?
“Whatever, sure,” Azzi relents, even though every fiber of her being is urging her to do the exact opposite. “I’m too tired for this. My family is gonna be home soon and I wanna sleep at least a little before they barge in.” She turns away and starts dragging her feet down the hallway to her room, hearing Paige padding quietly behind her. She pushes the door open with her shoulder and immediately goes to her closet, searching for something more comfortable to change into.
In the corner of her eye she spots Paige, shuffling about the room, eyes roaming over her pink bed sheets, the assortment of unicorn stuffed animals on her desk, the rainbow decals on her mirror. “Haven’t really changed much, huh?
Azzi grabs a pair of fleece pajama pants and a T-shirt, chuckling. “I don’t exactly live here anymore.”
“Good point.” Paige nods her head, running a finger along Azzi’s trophy shelf. Her eyes spot one item in particular and she takes it off the shelf. She flips the medal over to study the engraving on the back. “‘2018 Minnesota State Tournament: Class AAAA Champions’,” she reads with a scowl on her face. “Still can’t believe you guys beat us.”
Azzi walks up to her and snatches the medal from her, setting it back in its place. “Still can’t believe you’re not over it. This was, like, five years ago.”
“Aw, c’mon now. That last foul call was bullshit and you know it,” Paige grumbles.
“I think you’re just mad I dropped 30 points on your ass,” Azzi teases.
Paige frowns, crossing her arms. “No one was helpin’ me on defense.”
“Uh huh. Look, I’m gonna get dressed and stuff,” Azzi calls over her shoulder on her way to the bathroom. She pauses in the doorway and points a finger at Paige accusingly. “No touching anything else.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Paige promises with a mock salute.
Azzi changes into her pajamas and gets ready for bed as quickly as her fatigued body will allow, which is to say not very quickly at all. By the time she’s done, she’s so drained that she’s sluggishly dragging her body back to her room.
She’s rounding the corner into her room, dirty clothes from the party in hand, when she happens to look up. She chokes on air, clothing falling out of her hands, and stumbles to regain her balance.
Paige is sprawled out on her bed, hair splaying across her pillows, the light of her phone screen lighting up her face.
But none of that is the issue here.
The issue here is that Paige is wearing a sports bra and pair of boxers and that’s it.
The lines of her hips are visible, her abs pulled taut, and Azzi suddenly feels like she needs to cover her eyes, unless she wants to start choking on air again. “What the fuck are you doing?” she squeaks out, hands covering her face.
She hears Paige laugh. “It’s hot as hell in here. I’on know why you keep the temp at, like, 75 degrees all the time.”
“So you had to take your clothes off?”
“It’s nothin’ you haven’t seen before anyways.”
“Paige.”
“Azzi.”
Azzi leans against the wall, dropping her hands from her face but keeping her eyes screwed tightly shut. “Can you—God, can you at least put a shirt on or something?”
I’m not sleeping a wink tonight if she doesn’t.
She hears the bed creak slightly and assumes Paige must be sitting up now. “If I gotta.”
Azzi takes that as agreement and blindly feels her way to her closet, searching for the closest T-shirt she can find and pulling it off the hanger. She tosses it behind her in the direction of the bed.
“Okay, Imma get ready too then, I guess,” Paige is saying, the sound of her footsteps becoming more distant as she exits the room.
Azzi expels all the air out of her lungs, finally allowing herself to open her eyes. With shaky legs she makes her way to the bed, tucking herself under the covers. She takes a few more steadying breaths.
Pull it together, Fudd.
Paige is back sooner than Azzi is ready for her to be, but she stops a few feet into the room and gestures at her shirt. “This funny to you or somethin’?”
Azzi takes a moment to actually look at the shirt she unknowingly picked out for Paige and barks out a laugh, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.
The shirt has "St. John’s – State Champs" written across the chest in bold letters, her old high school’s logo below it.
“Okay, I promise I didn’t mean to pick that one,” Azzi swears, unable to contain her laughter.
“I’on believe you,” Paige grunts, sliding into the empty side of the bed. “You know I’d get beat up if anyone saw me wearin’ this, right?”
“Good thing it’s just me then, huh?”
“Guess so,” Paige grumbles, pulling the sheets up to her chin.
“Don’t worry,” Azzi says, smirking. “Your secret is safe with me, Cadet.”
Paige glares at her before rolling over and turning her back to Azzi. “I’m actually done talkin’ to you. Night.”
Azzi turns her bedside lamp off, encasing the room in darkness, save for a few bands of a dim streetlight poking through her blinds. “Night,” she echoes, settling to lay on her back.
She wills herself to sleep then, waiting for the exhaustion she’s been feeling for the past few hours to finally take over.
It doesn’t come.
It shouldn’t be this difficult.
But Azzi’s mind is racing, all thoughts on her former best friend stretched out beside her. Paige, lying in her childhood bed, clad in one of Azzi’s old basketball T-shirts and a pair of boxers, the warmth radiating from her enough to scorch Azzi’s skin even from half a foot away.
“Hey, P?” Azzi whispers, her gaze still glued to the ceiling.
She sees movement in her periphery, Paige angling her head back slightly in her direction. “Hm?”
Azzi swallows hard, attempting to dislodge the lump forming in her throat.
There’s been one question turning itself over and over in her mind all day. A thought that wouldn’t leave her head no matter how hard she tried to shake it out.
God, this is such a bad idea.
“Did you have a New Year’s kiss this year?” she hears herself ask.
Everything is silent then, and Azzi can’t think of many other times in her life where she’s felt as vulnerable as she does now.
The quietness stretches on for an agonizingly long amount of time. It lasts for so long, in fact, that part of Azzi begins to wonder if Paige might have fallen asleep.
“Nah,” Paige mumbles, breaking the silence. She turns fully back onto her side to face Azzi, resting her hands together underneath her head. Azzi feels her heavy stare piercing through the darkness and shivers. “You?”
Azzi shakes her head, sighs, “Me neither.”
She moves to face Paige, mirroring her position, her heartbeat thumping wildly in her ears.
Azzi wets her lips, locks her eyes onto Paige’s.
Fuck it.
“Did you want to have one?” she breathes out.
She doesn’t know what she’s expecting. Maybe for Paige to shove her playfully or smile at her or something like that.
But Paige brings her bottom lip into her mouth, waits a beat, then nods her head.
Oh.
She wants this, too.
Azzi isn’t sure which of them is leaning in, but suddenly Paige’s face is just inches from her own, her breath warm against Azzi’s lips.
“Are you sure?” Paige whispers.
Am I sure I want this?
Absolutely.
Am I sure we should be doing this?
Well...
Despite her doubts, Azzi swallows and nods her head.
Paige is the one to close the gap between them, hesitant, at first, and gentle, just the soft press of her lips against Azzi’s own. A tentative reunion, two aching souls finally coming back home to each other.
And then the kiss turns needy, hungry, and Paige is bringing a hand up to cup her face, sliding the other down to Azzi’s waist. Azzi does the same, tugs slightly to bring Paige to hover slightly over her. Paige is kissing her hard now, pressing her into the bed, exhaling heavily, making Azzi’s heart flutter uncontrollably.
Azzi makes a decision then, pulls back just slightly and uses her tongue to part Paige’s lips, shivering when she feels Paige sigh against her mouth. The action seems to spur Paige on further because she’s shifting again, slipping her leg in between Azzi’s, applying just a hint of pressure, building up a low heat there.
Paige is relentless, kissing her with such fervor that it makes her head spin. Azzi feels a thumb dip below the waistband of her pants, caressing against her hip, and for some reason that snaps Azzi out of the dizzy haze she's found herself trapped in.
Azzi breaks the kiss, lightheaded, because if she doesn't do it now she thinks they might never stop.
Paige rests their foreheads together for a moment. She leans back, shifts her body off Azzi’s, her pupils blown out and her chest heaving.
“There,” Azzi hears herself say, breath uneven. “Happy New Year.” Then she rolls away from Paige, heartbeat still erratic in her ears, shaking hands pulling the covers back over herself.
She feels the bed shift a minute later as Paige wordlessly turns away from her.
Azzi brings her fingers up to touch her mouth, the sensation still lingering there.
It’s hours before sleep finally finds her.
*****
Azzi wakes to the afternoon sunlight hitting her square in the face, and she pulls a pillow over her head to block it out. Groaning, she blindly sticks an arm out beside her, feeling for a warm body next to her to shake awake.
Her hand comes up empty.
She shoots up in her bed, panic swarming her as she scans across the empty room. Her chest tightens, her throat constricts.
Fuck, she’s gone.
Tears are just starting to prick at the corner of her eyes when the sound of boisterous laughter bounces off the walls of the hallway.
Curious, Azzi follows the sound, finding its source relatively quickly.
The sight is strange enough to raise Azzi’s eyebrows—her dad and Paige, seated on opposite sides of the dining table, laughing over empty breakfast plates.
Paige notices her first, nodding her chin towards her in acknowledgement. “Hey, Az.” She pats the chair next to her. “Sit.”
Azzi doesn’t move, eyes moving skeptically between her dad and Paige. “Hi. What are you guys talking about?”
“Oh, it’s nothin’,” her dad says, but the snickering between the two of them afterwards is saying something completely different.
“This.” Azzi points a finger back and forth between the two of them. “This I don’t like.”
“C’mon, we’re just messin’,” Paige assures, still grinning devilishly.
“Oh, I’m sure you are,” Azzi responds sarcastically, opening the fridge door and sticking her head in it, searching for something to settle her rumbling stomach. “So, what are we doing today?”
“Packing, I guess?” Paige replies.
Azzi picks her head up at that and closes the fridge. “Huh, why?”
“Got a flight to Connecticut in the mornin',” Paige shrugs, and Azzi’s heart drops to her stomach.
“You do?” she asks, failing to keep the sadness from creeping into her voice.
Paige looks apologetic, casting her eyes downward. “Yeah. I’m sorry. Forgot to mention it. Speakin’ of, I should head on out soon.” She stands, putting her dishes in the sink before clapping Azzi’s dad on the back. “Good to see you as always, Tim.”
He smiles up at her fondly. “You too, Paige.”
“Imma grab my stuff,” Paige says, brushing past Azzi into the living room. Azzi moves on autopilot, trailing behind her.
It takes Paige all of three seconds to get ready, having only really come here with her phone and the clothes she wore yesterday, which she must have changed back into at some point. Azzi watches her pull her sneakers on, shrug into her jacket.
“Guess this it then,” Paige starts, eyes looking anywhere but at Azzi.
Azzi wrings her hands together, trying to figure out where to go from here. “Well, uh, I guess I’ll see you around then, P.”
Azzi is going to leave it at that, moving her arms to give Paige a quick hug, but then Paige is grabbing her arm and pulling her in closer, lowering her voice. “Don't we need to talk 'bout somethin'?”
“Last time you said that you broke up with me.” Azzi pries Paige’s fingers off her arm.
Paige bristles at that, rubbing at the back of her neck nervously. “Okay, but still. We need to talk.”
“About?” Azzi asks, even though she already knows where this conversation is going. She looks at Paige expectantly.
“We kissed, Azzi. You don’t think we should talk ‘bout that?” There’s a crease between her eyebrows. “I mean, like, what does it mean, you know?”
There are two ways Azzi can play this. She can be honest, tell Paige that she lost hours of sleep over it, that it’s the only thing she’s thought about since she woke up, that it shifted her world off its axis. Can tell her that all those feelings she tried to push down have risen rapidly back to the surface, demanding all of her attention. Can lay it all out in front of them, knowing it could be months before the next time they see each other again.
And then there’s a second option.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Azzi is saying, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly.
Maybe it's time for the ball to be in Paige's court now.
Paige shakes her head exaggeratedly, her face screwed up in utter confusion. “It doesn’t?”
“Not unless we want it to,” Azzi continues, making her expression as unreadable as possible.
“Well, do you?”
Azzi hums noncommittally, looking down at her nails. “Probably easier if we just forget about it, right? I mean, it was only one kiss.”
There’s conflict painted clear across Paige’s face, her mouth opening and closing several times like she can’t quite figure out how she’s supposed to respond to that. She bites her lip hard, so hard that Azzi is a little concerned that she’s about to draw blood.
“I—I, uh,” she stutters, and Azzi can’t remember the last time she saw her look this flustered. “No, yeah. For sure. Just a kiss.” She nods her head once, like she’s trying to convince herself.
“Good, I’m glad we agree,” Azzi replies, even if she doesn’t really mean it.
Paige scratches at the back of her neck again, clearly not anticipating the conversation to go like this. “Yeah. So...maybe I’ll see you in March or somethin’?” She offers a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes.
Azzi shrugs. “Maybe you will.”
*****
She doesn’t.
#azzi fudd#paige bueckers#paige x azzi#pazzi#pazzi fics#lwb fic#i really hope you guys enjoy this one :)#inbox open tell me whatchu think
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the paths we didn't take (cl16)
part7!
multipart story! part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6
Summary : Years ago, Charles Leclerc and Y/N promised to let each other go—for his dreams, for her freedom. No calls, no texts, just memories they buried deep. But when fate reunites them in Monaco, old scars and unresolved feelings resurface. Some loves are unforgettable, but can they find their way back, or is it too late?
✦ pairing - charles leclerc x female reader
Chapter 7: "Unraveled"
Y/N stood by the curb, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, the cool night air doing little to calm the storm inside her. Her thoughts were a chaotic mess, replaying the brief, heart-stopping moment she had locked eyes with Charles. The years apart had done nothing to prepare her for the rush of emotions she felt seeing him again. She blinked back the tears threatening to spill, silently willing her cab to hurry up.
“Y/N!” Lando’s voice called out behind her, his footsteps quick as he caught up. “Hey, where are you going?”
She turned slightly, her composure faltering when she saw the genuine concern etched on his face. “I just... I needed some air,” she muttered, trying to keep her voice steady.
Lando frowned, noticing the glistening tears in her eyes. Without hesitation, he pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around her as if shielding her from the world. “Hey, hey, what happened? Are you okay?”
Y/N clung to him for a moment, the warmth of his embrace grounding her. She took a shaky breath, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just... I saw him after all these years, and I don’t know how to react.”
Lando pulled back slightly, his hands resting on her shoulders as he studied her face. “You mean Charles?”
She nodded, biting her lip to stop it from trembling. “Yeah. I thought I was over it, you know? But seeing him... it just brought everything back.”
Lando gave her a small, understanding smile, his eyes filled with empathy. “It’s okay. It’s a lot to process. You don’t have to figure it all out right now.”
Y/N shook her head, wiping at her eyes. “I thought I moved on, Lando. I really did. But tonight... it was just so unexpected.”
“You don’t have to explain,” he said softly. “You’ve been through a lot. It’s okay to feel confused.”
As they stood there, Charles leaned against the balcony railing above, watching the scene unfold below. His heart sank as he saw Y/N in Lando’s arms, the way she leaned into him, the way Lando held her with such care. The sight of her tears stirred something deep inside him, but the rational part of his mind told him to let it go.
“She’s moved on,” Charles whispered to himself, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. “She doesn’t care anymore.”
With a deep breath, he turned away from the balcony, shaking his head to clear the lingering confusion. The weight of their history still pressed on him, but he forced himself to focus on the present. If she was fine, if she had someone like Lando by her side, then he had no reason to dwell on the past.
“Time to let it go,” he muttered, heading back into the club, the loud music and flashing lights quickly enveloping him once more.
Outside, Y/N pulled back from Lando, offering him a small, grateful smile. “Thanks for being here.”
“Always,” Lando replied, his voice gentle. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I will be,” she said, nodding. “I just need to get home and clear my head.”
“Alright,” Lando said, giving her one last reassuring squeeze. “Text me when you’re home, okay?”
“I will,” she promised, her voice steadier now. As her cab finally pulled up, she gave him a small wave before slipping inside, leaving the night—and all its unexpected emotions—behind her.
As the cab drove away, Y/N leaned her head against the window, letting out a long sigh. She had seen him, faced the past she thought she had left behind. But now, more than ever, she realized the journey to truly moving on was far from over.
----
A loud knock echoed through Y/N’s apartment, pulling her from the depths of a pounding headache. She groaned, burying her face deeper into her pillow, trying to escape the bright morning light streaming through the window. Another knock, more insistent this time, made her reluctantly sit up.
“Alright, alright, I’m coming!” she muttered, throwing on a hoodie as she stumbled towards the door. As she swung it open, the sight before her made her blink twice.
“Good morning, sunshine!” Lando beamed, holding two steaming cups of coffee, his grin as bright as the sunlight she was trying to avoid. “Figured you could use some caffeine.”
Y/N squinted at him, rubbing her temples. “Lando, it’s barely morning. What are you doing here so early?”
He waltzed in without waiting for an invitation, setting the coffee on the table. “It’s almost noon, you lazy bum. Besides, I thought you’d need this after last night’s little adventure.”
Y/N groaned, flopping onto the couch and pulling a blanket over her head. “I’m officially never drinking again.”
Lando chuckled, sitting on the edge of the couch and nudging her with his elbow. “Oh, come on. You were the life of the party until, well... you know.”
She peeked out from under the blanket, giving him a mock glare. “Don’t remind me.”
“Fair enough,” he said, handing her a cup of coffee. “Here, drink this. It’ll help.”
She took it gratefully, sipping the warm liquid. “Thanks. You’re not so bad for a nosy friend.”
“I aim to please,” he quipped, leaning back with a satisfied smile.
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Lando’s expression turned serious. “Actually, I came by for a reason.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What’s up?”
“Well,” he began, dragging out the suspense with a mischievous grin, “it seems McLaren is interested in working with your business.”
Y/N nearly choked on her coffee. “What? Are you serious?”
Lando laughed at her reaction, nodding. “Completely serious. They want a meeting with you to discuss potential collaborations.”
She stared at him, wide-eyed. “Lando, this is huge! How did this happen?”
He shrugged, trying to downplay his role. “I might have mentioned your work to a few people. They were really impressed.”
Without thinking, Y/N launched herself at him, pulling him into a bear hug. “You’re amazing! Thank you so much!”
Lando laughed, wrapping his arms around her in return. “Hey, hey, easy! You’re going to crush me!”
She pulled back, her face glowing with excitement. “I can’t believe this. I owe you big time.”
“Don’t mention it,” he said, brushing it off with a wave of his hand. “Just promise me one thing.”
“Anything,” she replied eagerly.
“Don’t forget about me when you’re swimming in all that McLaren money,” he teased, winking.
Y/N rolled her eyes, laughing. “I could never forget you, Lando.”
He grinned, standing up and stretching. “Alright, I should get going. But seriously, congrats. You deserve this.”
“Thanks,” she said, her smile softening. “For everything.”
“Anytime,” he replied, heading towards the door. “Now, go get ready. You’ve got a big meeting to prepare for.”
As he left, Y/N sat back down, her mind racing with excitement and possibilities. The hangover was now the least of her worries, replaced by the thrill of a new opportunity—one that she wouldn’t have imagined even in her wildest dreams.
🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️
taglist : @jenxjar @noam-rosier-icr @prttylight @gluecksbaerchieee
@janeh22 @tobucina @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @weekendlusting
@wisestarfishbouquet @ricciardosheart @leclercdream @sltwins
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@ricciardosheart @leclercdream @sltwins @vyctorya @f1fantasys
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles lecrelc#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x female!reader#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula one#y/n#best friends#ava speaks#charles leclerc fanfic
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Azel Radwan: Chapter 9 His Side Story
Chapter 8
Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!
♡———♡
It didn't particularly mean anything.
Emma: Living God, what are you… doing…?
Azel: Do I have to explain everything to you? What on earth is inside that head of yours?
The woman, back in her skimpy harem outfit, coughed, so I pulled her arm and drew her in between my knees.
I hugged her from behind because I couldn't bear to see her goosebump-covered skin.
(I don't want to use these hands, but…)
Emma: A-Are you...warming me up because I'm cold...?
Azel: Yes, it's a paid service.
Emma: Then I'll pass!
I used my leg to pin down the woman who tried to slip from my grasp as soon as I hinted at money.
Our bodies pressed closer together, and I unconsciously caught my breath at the sensation, different from what I had imagined.
(...I didn't know you were this soft.)
(Are all women like this? This feels good— No.)
(No, what am I thinking?)
Azel: You're cold, aren't you?
Emma: I am cold… but…
Azel: Then give up some of your money.
Emma: Your idea of "some" and my idea of "some" are different!
Emma: Besides, this isn't a normal amount of distance!
Azel: Huh? A normal distance?
Emma: People who are just acquaintances don't do this sort of thing.
Azel: Is that so?
(Then how do people in general keep warm without a blanket or anything to wear on top?)
The woman turned sideways and looked up at me.
When I maintained an indifferent attitude, she fell silent for some reason.
As if to say that the God who had shown mercy was the strange one....
Emma: ...Yes, it is. I think most people would misunderstand.
Azel: Why?
Emma: ...Eh, why?
Azel: I just took the simplest and most efficient method.
(There's no way she could misunderstand.)
(Rather, if she misunderstands this, it's stretching it too far.)
Emma: You're...strange, Prince Azel.
Azel: Is that sarcasm?
Emma: No, it's not...
Emma: You say "it would be troublesome if you fell in love with me," yet you have a strange sense of distance...
Emma: I'm surprised because you do a lot of things that people normally wouldn't do.
(...)
(Certainly, people normally wouldn't.)
At the very least, if it were anyone else in front of me, I wouldn't care if they were cold or whatever.
Normally, I would just leave them alone and not show any mercy.
Even if I were paid, I would be reluctant to take them into my arms.
Yet, for some reason, I didn't feel any discomfort with this woman.
(...I'm just losing my mind.)
*flashback*
Emma: ...That's not very fair.
Emma: The Living God answers the prayers of the people, but the prayers of the Living God do not reach the people.
Emma: Then I wondered who would help the Living God...
Emma: When I thought about it like that, I realized that I was the only one who could do it, so I couldn't bring myself to blame you.
*flashback over*
(It was unusual.)
(A woman who tries to help a God, instead of praying to one.)
At that moment, I couldn't think of anything witty to say.
I only remember the strange feeling that my heartbeat had quickened a little.
Azel: ...Because I'm a God.
I was hesitant to put those reasons into words, so I gave the most banal excuse.
Emma: No wonder you're so out of touch with the world—
Emma: Ow, ow, ow!
Azel: After all, that was sarcasm about me being naïve, wasn't it? You've got guts.
I pinched her cheek mercilessly. Her soft cheeks, unlike my own, were somehow addictive.
Azel: How much should I charge you for compensation?
When I threatened her, the woman shook her head and curled up in my arms.
(I admit it wasn't normal.)
(But it couldn't be helped. There was no other way.)
Azel: –...I just did it because you looked cold.
Silence filled the air.
She was usually boisterous, but at times like this, she would always clam up.
(This is incredibly awkward...)
The woman's ears were turning red.
Watching her, I felt as if it was contagious.
(...Damn it, I'm getting hot too.)
(...I need to change the subject...)
Azel: The aphrodisiac...
Emma: What is it now!?
Azel: Why are you snapping at me?
Emma: I'm not snapping. I'm just renewing my determination to get used to your eccentricities, Living God.
Azel: Whatever, it seems the effects have worn off.
Emma: Ah, you're right. When did that happen...?
Azel: That was careless. I was almost attacked.
Emma: Even if a natural disaster occurred, I wouldn't attack you, so please rest assured.
Azel: That's debatable.
Emma: Did you know? In the real world, that's called being conceited—
Emma: Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Azel: Your mouth is in top form today, isn't it? I look forward to your additional payment.
Emma: I'm so-rry!
(She's got quite the mouth on her...)
(...It somehow irks me that you wouldn't attack me.)
(No, it's not that I want to be attacked.)
(...What is this unpleasant feeling that's been going on since earlier?)
I pinched her cheek and turned away.
I didn't feel like I could look directly at her.
(Damn...why do I have to go through this?)
.
.
.
Chapter 10
If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)
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could you write an alex x reader where reader is not used to expensive or good quality things due to her background and feels lost when trying to choose a gift for alex because, well, what to give to a person who already has everything? If you can make Alex very bossy and likes to spoil the reader a lot
a/n: thank you for requesting this, I really loved writing it!:) summary: read it above pairing: Alex Cabot x female reader warnings: none word count: 1.5K
masterlist
Everything You Deserve - Alex Cabot
You shifted awkwardly in the plush leather seat, your fingers trailing over the sleek catalog in your lap. It wasn’t just the catalog - filled with the kind of luxury items you usually only saw on TV - that made you uncomfortable. It was the setting, too.
Alex Cabot’s favorite boutique was an elegant oasis nestled in the heart of Manhattan. The air smelled faintly of leather and jasmine, and you were convinced the salespeople judged you the moment you walked in, even though Alex assured you they didn’t.
“What about this?” Alex’s confident voice cut through your thoughts. You looked up to find her holding a scarf made of some kind of impossibly soft fabric. She tilted her head, observing you with a small, knowing smirk. “It’s cashmere. You’d look stunning in it.”
Your cheeks warmed. “I… I’m supposed to be picking something for you, remember?”
She didn’t blink. “And?”
“And this isn’t about me,” you insisted, setting the catalog aside and standing up.
Alex arched a perfectly sculpted brow and crossed her arms. The simple movement made her tailored blazer hug her figure just so, and for a moment, you were entirely distracted. “Y/N, I love how you somehow manage to turn everything into an argument when it comes to letting me spoil you.”
“I’m not arguing,” you muttered, though you kind of were.
She took a deliberate step closer, her heels clicking softly against the marble floor. Her presence was magnetic, her gaze fixed on you with an intensity that made your pulse quicken. “You are,” she said smoothly. “And it’s adorable.”
You groaned, knowing you’d already lost this round. “Fine. But seriously, I need to find something for you, and I don’t even know where to start.” You gestured helplessly at the boutique’s shelves. “What do you give to someone who already has everything?”
For a brief moment, Alex’s sharp features softened, the corners of her mouth tugging into a gentle smile. She reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, her touch lingering. “You’re sweet,” she murmured.
You swallowed hard. “I mean it, Alex. You’ve got the best clothes, the fanciest jewelry, wine that costs more than my rent…”
Her expression shifted instantly. “Your rent is irrelevant,” she said crisply. “You live with me now, remember?”
“Still,” you continued, ignoring her interjection. “I want to give you something special. Something you don’t already have.”
Alex studied you for a moment, her gaze assessing. Then she reached out and grabbed your hand, pulling you closer. “You’re overthinking this,” she said firmly. “You don’t need to spend a fortune or find something extravagant. I already have what I want.”
You blinked, confused. “What’s that?”
She leaned in, her lips brushing the shell of your ear as she whispered, “You.”
Your heart skipped a beat, your breath catching in your throat. Alex pulled back just enough to meet your wide eyes, her smile soft but confident.
“I know it frustrates you when I spoil you,” she continued. “But you’re worth every bit of it. And I don’t need gifts from you. Just you. Your smile, your time, your ridiculous stubbornness…” Her smile widened as she added, “Although, if you insist on giving me something, you could always wear that dress I got you last month. The one you keep ‘saving for a special occasion.’”
You tried to glare at her, but the warmth in her gaze melted any resistance. “You’re impossible,” you muttered, though the corners of your mouth betrayed a small smile.
“And you’re mine,” she replied simply, pressing a quick kiss to your temple.
As Alex led you out of the boutique, her hand firmly gripping yours, you realized that she wasn’t just bossy or extravagant for the sake of it. She wanted to give you everything you never had, not because she thought you needed it, but because she believed you deserved it.
It took you a few days to figure out what you could give Alex, something meaningful, something she didn’t already have, and something that wouldn’t make her raise an eyebrow at you spending money you didn’t have. It wasn’t easy. Alex had a way of making everything in her life feel polished, perfect, and utterly untouchable.
But then you thought about the Alex no one else got to see. The Alex who leaned on you late at night when the weight of a case dragged her down. The Alex who snuggled close under a throw blanket, watching old black-and-white movies with a glass of wine. The Alex who melted under your touch when she was too tired to fight the world.
She didn’t need more luxury. She needed something that made her feel like Alex, not Alexandra Cabot, Assistant District Attorney, Manhattan powerhouse.
That’s how you ended up with a shoebox and a pair of scissors, sitting cross-legged on your living room floor. It was far from glamorous work, but it made your heart race with anticipation.
The next evening, Alex walked into the apartment after work, looking as polished as ever. Her heels clicked against the hardwood as she dropped her purse on the entry table and loosened the silk scarf around her neck.
“Y/N?” she called out.
“In here!”
She followed your voice into the living room, where she stopped short. You were perched on the couch, a slightly sheepish but excited smile on your face, and in your hands was a carefully wrapped package.
“What’s this?” she asked, her sharp blue eyes narrowing in curiosity.
“Just… sit,” you said, patting the space next to you.
Alex arched an eyebrow but complied, settling down beside you with her usual poise. She gave you a knowing smirk. “You look suspiciously pleased with yourself.”
You grinned. “I am. Open it.”
She eyed the package for a moment, then carefully undid the paper, her long fingers precise and deliberate. Inside was a small wooden box, hand-stained and slightly uneven in places. It was clearly handmade but sturdy, the kind of thing you’d poured your heart into even if it wasn’t perfect.
She ran her fingers over the surface. “Did you make this?”
“Yeah,” you said softly, already feeling your cheeks warm. “But open it.”
Alex lifted the lid, revealing the contents: a collection of little mementos. Photographs, ticket stubs, pressed flowers, handwritten notes, and other small but deeply personal items.
The first thing she pulled out was a picture of the two of you, taken on your first official date. You were laughing, your head thrown back, while Alex had an arm around you, her expression soft and full of affection.
“You kept this?” she murmured.
“Of course I did,” you said. “That night was perfect.”
Next, she unfolded a piece of paper. It was a note you’d once left in her briefcase - a silly doodle of a sun with the caption, 'Don’t forget to shine today.'
Alex let out a soft laugh, her fingers brushing over the drawing as if it were made of gold. “I remember finding this right before court. It made my entire day.”
She sifted through the box slowly, pulling out each item like it was a treasure: a dried daisy from a walk in the park, a movie ticket from that night you’d dragged her to a rom-com she pretended not to enjoy, and a small seashell from your first weekend getaway together.
Finally, at the bottom of the box, was a folded piece of stationery. She unfolded it carefully, her brows furrowing as she read your handwriting.
'Alex,
I know you have everything. But this box is full of the things I hope you’ll never forget—the little pieces of us. I just wanted you to have something no one else could ever give you. You’re my home, my heart, and the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Love,
Y/N'
When she looked up, her eyes were shining. She reached out and cupped your face with both hands, pulling you into a kiss so soft and tender it made your chest ache.
“Y/N,” she murmured against your lips, “this is…” She trailed off, shaking her head like she couldn’t find the right words.
“You don’t like it?” you asked nervously.
She pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, her thumb brushing your cheek. “I love it,” she said fiercely. “It’s the best thing anyone’s ever given me.”
You smiled, relief washing over you. “Really? Even though it’s not-”
She cut you off with another kiss, this one deeper, full of gratitude and love. When she finally pulled back, she whispered, “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
You melted into her arms, and for the first time, you truly believed that maybe you were enough.
#fanfiction#fanfiction writing#lesbian#lgbtq#wlw#wuh luh wuh#2025#english#law and order svu#law and order#alex cabot x y/n#alex cabot x reader#ada alex cabot#x reader#x y/n#reader#y/n#alex cabot#ada#assisted district attorney#casey novak#olivia benson#elliot stabler#john munch#odafin tutuola#detective
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🌼 A lonely flower 🌼
It turns out today is a very special someone's birthday... 🤭🎂
... Sooo here's my present for my beloved bestie! 😄 Hope you like it, my dear @bberetd, and I'm wishing you the happiest of birthdays! 🥳🎂🎈👏💖
I came up with the idea for this Luaisy fic thanks to two sources of inspiration. The first one was this song that I adore so much and that, to this day, still speaks to me:
youtube
Here's the translation and here are my thoughts about it that ended up giving birth to this story.
And the other thing that was crucial for this fic to come to life was your own Luaisy story, Miraculous shelter, as I thought it worked perfectly well as some sort of follow-up for it. And thus I decided I wanted to surprise you with it, and what better day than today! 🥰 I sincerely hope you'll enjoy it, my dear bestie 🫂💖
As usual I'm posting this on both AO3 and Tumblr! You'll find nods to your story as well as some of my works such as Biggest fear and my post Luigi serenades Daisy. And also a little bit of @vulpixfairy1985's story A moment together as it's becoming customary for me 🤭
Speaking of which, I would like to especially thank my big sister @vulpixfairy1985 as well as @megamagimugi and @itsavee4117 for keeping the secret for so long, and if you're interested in reading this story, I sincerely hope you'll enjoy it as well! 🥰
@peaches2217 @pepperycar @kelbreyworshipper @teegeeteegee @dragon-fly34 @kimasousparky @artycomicfangirl @mikibaby94 @smokszyvverstar @eleventhhourfactor Hope it's okay that I tag you too in case you'd like to read this fic, but of course it's more than fine if you aren't!
✨ AO3 LINK ✨
(I don't know why, but AO3 links aren't working on Tumblr today, or perhaps it's just me lol. I'll edit the post as soon as it's fixed).
I really hope you enjoy, and as always, likes, kudos, reblogs and comments on either site are more than welcome 💖
🌼 A lonely flower 🌼
When Luigi arrives in Sarasaland to, once again, surprise his beloved princess, whom he misses deeply, he did not expect at all what he was going to find.
He thought it would be almost like the first time he came to visit her unannounced. He thought that, perhaps, he’d find her overwhelmed, maybe even stressed, the light in her eyes, always as bright as a star, dulled by the amount of work that her royal duties force her to do and which, for her, implies a greater effort than for others. Her tireless energy pushes her to be always active, always moving, but her responsibilities as future empress of Sarasaland require that she spends a lot of time sitting still and concentrating on the same task.
It's too much for her.
Still, never in a million years would Luigi have expected to find his vivacious and always cheerful girlfriend crying alone.
For a few moments, Luigi stands in the doorway, paralyzed, his fist inches from the wood, ready to knock. The ajar door gives him a glimpse inside of Daisy, sitting on her bed, shrinking in on herself and trembling slightly, her crown forgotten on the bedside table. Her muffled sobs are like daggers stabbing deep into Luigi's soul, and he’s torn between keeping silent so as not to startle her or rushing to her side and hugging her with all his might. The last thing he wants is to scare her, or to feel like he’s meddling where he’s not wanted, but his most primal instinct, that which is overflowing with love for his Fiore, screams at him to run and allow her to find refuge in his arms.
In the end, as he watches Daisy, with her back to him, cover her face with her hands to try to silence her crying, Luigi decides on an intermediate option. He finally knocks his fist against the door gently as he steps into the room, not without a certain shyness.
“Knock, knock,” he murmurs as he does so, smiling an unsure smile. “May I?”
Despite his attempts not to make too much noise, Luigi witnesses Daisy's slight startle. He sees her clasp her hands against her face and hears her faintly hiccup, and he stands still until she mumbles a soft “Come in.” Despite this, Luigi enters the room slowly, insecurity bubbling in his chest. What if he's making a mistake? What if what Daisy needs is to be alone? What if he is, in effect, meddling where he's not called?
When he's halfway between the door and Daisy's bed, she finally turns to him. Unwillingly, Luigi stops in his tracks as he’s once again paralyzed by the immense sadness dancing in her beautiful blue eyes, reddened from crying, some traces of which still remain on her freckled cheeks. Even so, Daisy tries to mask it all with a smile and, seeing him stop, she gets up to be the one to close the distance between them.
“Sweetie,” she exclaims, and there’s a sincere joy in her voice, but Luigi can perfectly discern the absence of his girlfriend’s characteristic effusiveness that always shines in her tone when she addresses him. “You're here!”
She stretches out her arms to him and Luigi does the same by instinct, clasping in his fingers the hands of his brave princess, who squeezes him back even tighter. Maybe even with a subtle hint of desperation, Luigi would say. He watches her silently, worried, and notices how Daisy tries even harder to hide the fact that, just a few seconds ago, she was crying.
“How come you're here?” she asks, giving him a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.
“I-I wanted to... surprise you,” Luigi finally says.
He tries to return her smile, but he’s sure that the only thing he’s managed to compose is a twisted and strange grimace.
“Well, you did,” she replies, letting out a chuckle that, despite not sounding fake, doesn't sound entirely authentic either.
It doesn't sound like Daisy.
“Did you bring cake today, too?” she asks before he can add anything.
Luigi takes a few seconds too long to register the information and try to give her an answer.
“N-no, I...”
He blinks, trying hard to focus, and responds as his mind tries to come up with the right way to address the issue Daisy is trying to hide.
“Actually today I was thinking... maybe we could go for a walk? I brought the ukulele.”
“Perfect!”
Daisy lets go and claps her hands in a way that feels somewhat more enthusiastic than usual. Playfully, she slips a hand under Luigi’s hat and ruffles his hair without looking him in the eye as she begins to turn her body to walk towards the door. Luigi, ignoring the fact that his cap is about to fall off, then understands that she’s about to leave without further ado, to continue pretending that she’s fine, that nothing is wrong. For a second he doubts whether he should say something or whether, perhaps, what Daisy needs is a distraction. To stop thinking about whatever has happened and have a nice time to help her cheer up.
But Luigi can't bear the thought that when it's time to say goodbye and his beloved girlfriend is alone again, she'll burst into tears once more and he won't be there to comfort her. From his own experience, he knows that the best thing to do is always to let it all out and keep nothing inside. It's what always works for him, and although he sometimes has a hard time getting Mario to open up, he knows that, like him, his brother also feels much better after expressing his feelings to him.
He may have even more work ahead of him with Daisy than with Mario, but that doesn't mean he's going to give up. He never would. Not with his brother, and not with his girlfriend.
So, with determination and the hat misplaced on his head, Luigi bends down to take his princess's hand gently, thus making her slow down and turn to him again.
“Daisy,” he says, his voice filled with concern, and his brow furrows slightly as he adds in a whisper, “Are you all right?”
For a few seconds, Daisy is silent and only holds his gaze, blue against blue. Luigi waits, ever patient, never pressuring her, but it’s not too long before, in front of his eyes, the beautiful face of his beloved princess crumbles completely.
Luigi's hand suddenly finds itself grasping at air, as Daisy, in one swift movement, brings both hands to her face to hide from him. Luigi can practically touch his fingers to the visible effort she’s making to hold back a sob, which, however, ends up bursting from her mouth, sounding muffled against her palms, though just as heartbreaking.
As soon as he notices Daisy's legs begin to buckle, Luigi rushes to wrap his arms around her and holds her tightly, squeezing her steadily as she falls and letting himself fall with her. Due to the strength of their embrace and the fact that the princess is cowering on herself, there’s a brief moment when Luigi's hat also covers Daisy's auburn head a little, before he removes it altogether and drops it haphazardly, more concerned about his Fiore than his tousled hair.
When their knees reach the ground, Luigi gently places a hand on Daisy's shoulder to pull her to him, and she, in tears, does not resist and lies on his chest. Luigi pulls her close and strokes her hair tenderly, his arms around her like a shield meant to protect her from any harm and create a safe, warm haven only for her.
His heart breaks with every sob that escapes Daisy's system, with every hiccup she emits, with every tear that wells up in her eyes. Luigi holds her tightly as she cries disconsolately in his arms, his left hand rubbing her back slowly, his right hand stroking her hair softly. His beloved princess seems so broken that he can't help but wonder... how could he not have seen this before? How has he been so blind as to not see it coming? Is he such a bad boyfriend that he’s incapable of realizing that his adored Fiore is suffering right in front of his eyes?
The ache in his chest increases, now spiced with guilt, and he deposits a soft kiss on his princess' hair as he notices that a few furtive tears start to flood his eyes. Daisy then pulls a hand away from her face and clutches the fabric of his overalls in her fingers, and the desperation in the gesture, in her voice overwhelmed by grief, in the side of her face that is now visible if he looks down, causes Luigi to squeeze his eyelids tightly and the tears to begin sliding down his cheeks. Daisy's pain is his pain.
She moves the hand she was holding over her face so that it now covers only her eyes. Luigi is then able to place his lips on her forehead in an attempt to comfort her and presses them gently for a few seconds to try to convey calm. His kiss is wet, damp from his own sadness, but he won't let that stop him. Daisy, his Daisy, his favorite flower in this and all universes, needs him, and Luigi is not going to fail her.
For several minutes, the two remain on the floor of the princess' room. Luigi doesn't relax his grip on his girlfriend for a moment, cradling her in his arms with all his affection, his fingers slowly and delicately running through her auburn, messy hair. Daisy, her head pressed to his chest, continues to hide her eyes with one hand while clutching his overalls with the other. She convulses in Luigi's arms from crying, and he, silently wailing, goes on kissing her forehead every few seconds, keeping his lips on her tanned skin for a little longer each time.
His thoughts wander in his head, intermingled with a myriad of feelings that imprison his heart like an ever-tightening claw. Daisy, his Fiore, his sassy, giggly princess, is suffering for something Luigi is not even able to suspect. She, who’s always been there for him, who has often comforted him, who on more than one occasion has followed him with her clothes on her back just to make sure he was all right. She, who has been the umbrella he needed when the downpour in his eyes flowed like a salty river. She, who has stayed by his side when everyone else, always with the exception of Mario, had left, and reminded him of who he is even when he himself had forgotten, encouraging him to wave his flag with pride.
She, who has made a huge place in his heart with all the love and adoration she has for him. She, who has taken over every inch of his body with her overwhelming personality and sparkling energy. She, who pronounces his name as if she were reciting poetry. She, who always makes him feel as if time has stopped every time they are in the same room.
She, who has taken over Luigi's life so much and has become so present in it that it's as if she were hung in every strand of his hair.
She, Daisy, his Fiore... she has been all this time suffering in silence and masking her pain so as not to worry him. Neither he nor his friends, of course. She has kept it all to herself and has only given it free rein once she was alone.
Probably, if Luigi hadn't caught her crying, who knows how much longer she would have kept it up. Maybe, in fact, he’d never have found out. Maybe that's the reason why Luigi didn't need to insist as he does with Mario: because, plain and simple, Daisy couldn't take it anymore.
Luigi sighs as he continues to hug her. And to think that he’s shown up at her home by surprise because the balloons he was giving to a Toad reminded him of her... One was green, his favorite color, and the other one was shiny gold. Exactly like the balloons that had made them float on that magical night when his brother took him to Sarasaland in his Odyssey ship so that he and Daisy could share an enchanting moment together. Seeing those colors blending together as the Toad happily drifted away with his balloons in hand made Luigi experience a sense of suffocating anguish that, as he well knew, could only be cured if he was fortunate enough to behold his beautiful Fiore in front of him once more.
And he’s been able to do so, yes... but the feeling of anguish has only increased in his chest as he found her submerged in such a state of extreme sadness.
He wouldn’t be at all surprised if his princess hated him. He’s been an absolutely horrible and despicable boyfriend. He’s remained oblivious to her pain and hasn’t been able to reciprocate her as she deserves. He’s certainly earned it in spades that Daisy doesn't want to be with him anymore, that she doesn't want to see him again, that she doesn't want to share one more measly second by his side. He’s been completely blind and has failed to measure up.
However, as long as she needs him, he will remain by her side.
Luigi has no idea how much time has passed when he finally notices that the intensity of his girlfriend's sobs begins to subside. Even though the guilt is still tormenting him inside, he feels relief fill him as well, like little gusts of air that grant him a brief respite. Of course he wishes Daisy would let it all out and let nothing stay inside, but that doesn't stop Luigi himself from suffering unspeakably as he holds his broken Fiore in his arms.
Still, he doesn't move. He allows Daisy to catch her breath little by little, at her own pace, and not only does he not alter his position, but he gently presses her head to his chest in a burst of affection. Her hair brushes his ear and tickles him, and Luigi, fearing that this is the last time he’ll have the chance to do so, closes his eyes to enjoy the sensation. He notices that Daisy relaxes a little the fingers with which she still holds his overalls at chest level and is pleasantly surprised when the princess finally takes her other hand away from her face and reaches out to put her arm around his back, so that she’s now hugging him too. Luigi feels his heart calm down somewhat and pulls her a little closer, placing a kiss on the crown of her head. He can't help but smile through his tears when Daisy snuggles a little more against him, seeking the warmth of his embrace, which he doesn't hesitate to bestow on her.
A few more seconds go by in complete silence, calming in each other's arms, until Daisy's voice emerges, shy and muffled.
“I'm sorry,” she mumbles, sounding almost embarrassed.
In response, Luigi kisses her hair again as he holds her tightly.
“There's nothing to be sorry about, Fiore,” he whispers, his voice laden with gentleness.
Daisy squeezes him a little tighter, rubbing her cheek against his chest, as if seeking a more comfortable position, and sighs. Her arm slowly drops from her overalls and passes under his, so that Luigi now feels both of his girlfriend's hands on his back.
“I didn't want you to see me like this,” Daisy confesses in a whisper.
Luigi understands. Even though he’s unable to hold back his emotions, he only feels comfortable expressing them in front of three people, and Daisy is one of them. She makes him feel confident and self-assured in a way he’s never felt with anyone but his brother, though in a different way, of course.
He never hesitates to open up to her when he needs to, because Daisy makes him feel secure, safe and at ease. Maybe... she can open up to him too? Maybe he can make her feel safe too?
Or maybe it's already too late?
“Do you... want to... talk about it?” he offers, unsure.
His hand wavers slightly on her hair as soon as he feels her tensing in his arms. Slowly, Daisy sits up, pulling away from him, though she doesn't quite break contact: as their arms slide down each other's backs and they face each other, she reaches for his hand.
When their fingers meet, they squeeze as if their lives were at stake.
Luigi notices the way Daisy averts her gaze as she purses her lips. She seems to be searching for the right words to start talking. Wanting to comfort her and show her that he’s there for her, ready to listen, Luigi places his other hand on his princess's cheek and gently caresses it, sliding his thumb over her tanned skin to erase the traces of crying and to brush the constellation of freckles that dot her beautiful face. Daisy closes her eyes at the touch and leans her head into his palm, taking a deep breath.
“It's just...” she murmurs, interrupting herself to sigh as she rubs her arm with her other hand. “It's really silly...”
“Daisy.” Luigi gently turns her face so he can look into her regret-laden eyes. “If it makes you cry like that, it's not silly at all.”
His girlfriend's lips pucker slightly before she composes a weak smile, and she pulls her hand away from her arm to rest it on Luigi's, who continues to caress her face with gentleness. He smiles at her too, wanting to convey so much to her in that simple gesture that he doubts he can succeed.
“Luigi, I...” Daisy begins to say and is unable to hold back another sigh. “I feel lonely.”
The smile fades from Luigi's mouth at the simplicity with which she says it. He freezes inside as he understands it all, as he understands the true meaning behind Daisy's crying, behind her words, behind her sadness.
But, before he can take it all in, she continues:
“It's just that...” She shakes her head, distressed. “It's nobody's fault, but even though I go to visit you in the Mushroom Kingdom so often, in the end I always have to come back to Sarasaland. And, yes, I have friends here too,” she hastens to clarify, “but I don't have as close a relationship with any of them as I do with you. It's not the same, you know?”
Oh, yes, Luigi knows. Throughout his life he’s met a lot of people, but with none of them he has been able to establish such a deep connection as the ones he has with his beloved brother Mario, his dear friend Peach and his adored princess Daisy. The three of them are the essential pillars of his life, those who know him best and most deeply, and every time he has to be apart from them, especially his brother or his girlfriend, he suffers to such a degree that anxiety takes over his heart. Exactly as it happened to him the day before.
Still, he lives with Mario. He sees Peach every day. They spend a lot of time together, and also with Toad, and Toadette, and Yoshi, and all the others, and when Daisy has a chance to join them, the joy that brims over him is so great that Luigi feels on top of the highest cloud.
But he had never considered that, while he despairs with every second he has to be separated from his beloved princess, in the end it is she who is the most isolated. She’s not the only one who doesn’t reside in the Mushroom Kingdom, true, but Sarasaland is the farthest away from it. The links between the two countries are complicated and convoluted, needing to use various pipes to get from one place to another, and there’s even a section of the way that must be done by train. It’s never easy or quick for Daisy to visit her friends, which is why she often stays for several days at Peach's castle.
And Luigi suddenly realizes that, perhaps, behind these long stays lies more than just the complexity of getting to the Mushroom Kingdom from Sarasaland.
Perhaps it hides Daisy's need to be accompanied, to spend as much time as possible with her friends, to feel them close and not find herself alone so often. Perhaps it hides a deep desire to be part of a whole, to nurture the connection she shares with the most important people in her life, to try to shake off the feeling of being confined and secluded in her beautiful but distant home.
Unwillingly, Luigi's mind begins to wander in search of possible solutions to soothe his girlfriend's pain and prevent her from ever feeling this way again.
“Of course, this doesn't mean that I blame anyone,” Daisy says suddenly, looking at him worriedly. “It's just a situation that's happened and that's it, and at the end of the day we all have our responsibilities. It's just...” she sighs again, her expression full of dejection. “I can't help feeling this way.”
Luigi watches her silently for a few seconds, saddened to see her so spiritless. He gently squeezes her hand and reaches for the other, grabbing her fingers gently to bring them to his mouth and place a soft kiss on them. Daisy looks up at him as she feels his lips graze her skin, and Luigi gives a weak smile in an attempt to comfort her.
“I understand, Fiore,” he says sincerely. “I understand why you feel this way in these hard circumstances, and I'm sure our friends would understand too. I...” This time it is he who sighs, and he blushes slightly as he admits: “The truth is that I had never taken a moment to think about it, and I apologize for that. I'm really sorry I didn't see it before, Daisy.”
The eyes of his princess are covered with tenderness at the frankness that oozes from each of Luigi's words, and this time she’s the one who gives him a gentle squeeze on his fingers. Only her sweet smile and the infinite affection that emanates from her blue gaze are enough to somewhat relieve the guilt that has clung to Luigi's heart.
“But I'm here now,” he adds, squeezing his hands. “And I hope I can help you find a solution so that this doesn't happen again.”
Daisy's smile becomes sad and even a little bitter.
“Luigi, I...” She remains silent for a few seconds trying to find the right words. “I thank you from the bottom of my heart, but I’m well aware that there’s no solution to this problem. I just have to... learn to live with it,” she concludes, shrugging in resignation. “Learn to live with the fact that Sarasaland, my beautiful and beloved home, is... lonely. And that's it.”
Luigi can't help but raise an eyebrow. It's not at all like Daisy to give up. He stares at her for a few moments, confusion painted on his face, but, before he can find something to say, Daisy adds:
“I admit that at times I’ve considered... leaving.”
“Leaving?” Luigi repeats, puzzled.
“Sarasaland” she explains, smiling with remorse. “Go live in the Mushroom Kingdom, or Tostarena, or even the Beanbean Kingdom. Any of those places would bring me closer to all of you. But...” she adds, sighing again, her tone full of melancholy. “I could never leave Sarasaland. It’s not only my home, but also my empire. Someday I’ll rule over its four kingdoms, and I love each of them and their different cultures with all my heart. Anyway,” she continues after a few seconds of silence, and gives him a rueful smile. “I suppose I’ll always be at a great crossroads. But honestly, being aware of it doesn't make it any easier.”
She ducks her head, exhaling for the umpteenth time. Everything in her gestures, in her expression, in her posture, screams how dejected she really feels, and Luigi just looks at her wordlessly. What can he add to what his Fiore has just confessed to him? He would never have imagined that this desire was buried deep in the heart of his princess, but he can't say he blames her. After all, isn't he incapable of going more than a whole day without seeing Mario? What must it be like for her to go for weeks at a time without being able to see all of her friends?
Luigi feels a physical pain in his chest just thinking about it.
“Besides,” Daisy goes on after a few seconds in which Luigi hasn't been able to find anything he can say to comfort her, “honey, while I appreciate your desire to help me, it's not your job to solve my problems.” She caresses his cheek with affection and Luigi can read in her eyes that she really is grateful. “It wouldn't be a healthy relationship if I expected that from you.”
“I know,” Luigi assures her, “but it is my job to be here for you, Daisy. I know...” he adds, shame flooding his insides, “I've been a terrible boyfriend not realizing sooner that you were in pain...”
“Luigi, honey,” Daisy interrupts him, gently placing her finger on his lips. “You haven't been. I didn't want you to see me like this, remember? You and I...” As she lowers her hand, another sigh escapes her mouth. “We don't spend enough time together. And when I'm with you, I want to make the most of every second. I didn't want to... waste it like this.”
“Daisy, il mio bellissimo Fiore...”
Luigi cups her face in his hands and leans towards her, yearning owning his every move. Daisy's warm forehead soon meets his, and he closes his eyes for a few seconds as he soaks in the touch, trying to hold on to it to calm his frantic thoughts. Daisy is silent and rests her hands on his arms, and Luigi clutches desperately at every point where his body and his princess' are touching, however lightly, to try to mitigate the grief that grips his soul.
“It's not a waste,” he says after a few seconds, whispering and panting slightly,. “It never is, I promise. It's... it's a lesson I've struggled to learn, but expressing how we truly feel and asking for help is never a waste, much less a weakness.”
He feels how Daisy clings to his arms a little tighter, and when he opens his eyes, he notices that she’s pursing her lips in a clear attempt not to burst into tears again.
“Luigi, I...” she mumbles in a strangled voice, “I don't want to be a burden...”
Luigi's heart shrinks in his chest.
“You're not!” he assures her, running his thumbs over her cheeks and pressing his forehead harder against hers. “Daisy, you're my girlfriend and I... I adore you.”
His confession causes Daisy's eyelids to flutter open, and Luigi pulls away from her so he can look into her eyes. He finds them shimmering with tears about to be shed, and though he, too, feels shaken and broken inside, he tries hard to smile. His knees hurt, but he pays them no heed.
“Daisy, being your boyfriend has helped me grow as a person,” he says, opening his heart completely to her. “You've made me love myself more and feel braver and more confident. You’ve been there for me when I needed you, you’ve never let me down, you’ve always supported me... Daisy,” he adds, looking at her intensely, “you’ve made my life so much better.”
And yet he’s been so blind... His beautiful flower, so lonely and isolated from everyone, like a mermaid spat out by the sea who suddenly finds herself lying on the sand, not knowing what to do or who to turn to....
It breaks his soul just to imagine it.
“I love you very much,” he continues, piercing her with his gaze, “and I’d give anything to have been able to spare you all this suffering and to find a way for you to see us more often without having to give up your home. Never, do you hear me? You could never be a burden, Daisy, because I want everything with you. The good and the bad. The joys and the sorrows. The moments of fun and the moments of crying in each other's arms. Sharing our jokes and wiping away each other’s tears. You” he emphasizes, sliding a hand down her face to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, “are everything to me. Everything,” he insists, “and I will always be here for you, no matter what.”
Luigi concludes his speech by leaning down to place a kiss on Daisy's cheek, which he finds wet and salty, but he doesn't care. He himself has also burst into tears at some point while speaking, though now he can only smile. He feels as if his heart is glowing in his chest, glistening and full of all the love he feels for his princess. She just looks at him for a few moments, her face the spitting image of surprise, her tanned cheeks drenched, until, with a gasp, she throws herself at him and hides her head in his chest.
And Luigi takes her in his arms once again and offers her comfort and protection.
This time, Daisy cries in a calm manner. Her sobs are not so desperate, and her voice does not sound so heartbroken, although Luigi feels her clinging to him with even more energy, as if for nothing in the world she’d want to be separated from him. The plumber squeezes her in his arms with all his might and begins to sing in her ear the Italian lullaby with which his grandmother used to rock him and Mario as babies, and which Daisy has come to adore with all her soul. He intones the melody in a soft whisper as, again, he slides his hand up and down his princess' beautiful hair, and his heart dances as he notices that Daisy's crying, slowly but surely, almost at the same pace as the soft cadence of the lullaby, simmers down.
Neither of them moves, however. They remain in each other's arms, eyes closed, and Luigi feels Daisy's hand beginning to move down his back as well, drawing random scribbles with her fingers. He can't help but smile, a pleasant warmth filling his chest, and he then begins to fiddle with his Fiore's auburn locks, as soft as silk and as radiant as an autumn forest. When he gently clasps Daisy's body in his arms, she returns the squeeze without hesitation.
Relieved to see that she’s feeling better, more serene and relaxed, lying against him quietly and enjoying his company, Luigi sits down on the floor to give his knees a rest as he thinks again about why she broke down crying in the first place. There has to be something he can do to help her, to fix her situation even a little bit. What if...?
“You know what I'm thinking of?” he starts to say as an idea forms in his mind. “Maybe next time I come to see you I'll bring Mario and Peach with me.”
“Really?” Luigi can almost touch the excitement in Daisy's voice as, without turning away from him, she replies, “And will you and Peach bake a cake again?”
Luigi lets out a giggle, amused.
“Just for you, Fiore,” he promises, and adds: “We could organize a picnic in the gardens of your castle.”
“Well...” Daisy doesn't sound as convinced as he expected. “It's not a bad idea, but you know that this area of Sarasaland is not a very green place. It might be too hot.”
“Hm.” Luigi purses his lips thoughtfully. Daisy is right. “Then...” he says, slowly, and snaps his fingers as soon as a better idea comes to his mind, “How about a party inside your castle? It would be the perfect setting for one of our turn-based games!”
“That...” Daisy replies quietly, weighing it, and unhurriedly sits up to look him in the face. Her eyes sparkle with enthusiasm. “That would be great!” she exclaims, her voice turning into a high-pitched squeal, and she grabs him by the shoulders as she shakes him vigorously. “Besides, the castle would be full of people! Because of course,” she adds, putting one hand to her chest and raising the other with her index finger outstretched, “you'd all be more than welcome to stay over for several days.”
Luigi laughs heartily, thrilled to see that his girlfriend's effusiveness, which he missed so much, has returned stronger than ever.
“Are you sure that’s an invitation and not an obligation?” he replies jokingly.
“I can always make it a law,” Daisy resolves, putting her hands on her hips.
Her answer, as it usually happens, makes Luigi laugh. How he loves to see his beloved princess teasing again. Feeling incredibly giggly and relieved, he reaches for her hands and eagerly shakes them.
“I bet they'll all be more than delighted to stay.”
“Are you sure?” Despite her poise, Daisy hesitates, “They've never stayed here before... They might not like Sarasaland, and besides, the one who understands diplomacy is Peach...”
“And she will gladly help you,” Luigi assures her. “She, Mario, me and all the others will help you with everything you need! And by the way, I'm sure they'll love Sarasaland. It's a very beautiful land. Just like you.”
He taps her tiny nose gently and Daisy lets out a giggle and puts a hand to her mouth rather coquettishly, her cheeks a bit flushed.
“If you continue telling me that, I’ll end up believing it,” she says playfully, and nudges him gently on the shoulder. “Love has clearly clouded your judgment.”
“Not at all, Fiore,” he replies, placing his hands on her hips. “I'm just stating the facts. You should believe it, 'cause it's the truth.”
They stare at each other in rapture for a few seconds, Daisy's hands on Luigi's shoulders. She strokes his cheek with one finger as she tangles the other in his chocolate-colored curls. Luigi realizes that he’s fallen under the spell of his princess' eyes, now, at last, as full of life and wit as he remembered them. And just as beautiful and deep as ever.
“You know what I think?” Daisy then says, moving a little away from him, and Luigi blinks to snap out of her enchantment. “I’m sure Peach would definitely melt if your brother said something like that to her.”
“Of course,” Luigi nods, convinced.
He's very tempted to point out that she's melted too, and that it only makes him melt even more in love with her, but Daisy continues speaking before he has a chance to form the words in his mouth.
“Do you think that, at this party, your brother and Peach will finally... do something to confess their obvious feelings for each other?” asks the princess, curiosity shining in her face.
Luigi is unable to contain the snort that comes from deep within his lungs.
“Honestly? I doubt it very much,” he answers without hesitation. “I've lost count of the times I've tried to get those two together, and there's been no way. It's surprising how blind they are when it's so obvious to everyone that they adore each other!”
Daisy lets out a giggle.
“It really is surprising, isn't it?” she says. “That they can't see how much they want each other.”
“Indeed.” Luigi nods convincingly.
“Maybe it would take another one of your delicious cakes for Mario to finally realize it,” Daisy suggests casually, giving him a meaningful look.
Luigi knows very well what those words hide, as well as the mischievous expression on his girlfriend's face. He loves to see her like that, of course, but, although his mind starts to imagine delicious cakes with which Peach could surprise Mario and from which, of course, Daisy would unhesitatingly steal a piece, he prefers to keep his idea for the future... for the time being.
“And how could we make Peach open her eyes too?” he asks instead.
This may be a game between him and Daisy that he's dying to keep playing, but Luigi genuinely wants to help his friend and his brother, and he knows Daisy does too. The feeling of hanging out with the person you've been in love with for so long, of being able to touch and kiss and hold them in your arms freely, is absolutely wonderful, heavenly even. And he sincerely wishes that Mario and Peach could experience it in each other's arms.
“Hmm...” Daisy puts a finger to her lips, thoughtfully. “Maybe with a nice bouquet of her favorite flowers? You and I could help them with that.”
She winks at him knowingly and Luigi laughs, his heart fluttering in his chest, light as a butterfly.
“Yes... It could work,” he admits, really liking the idea.
“Heh!” Daisy gives a proud smile, showing all her teeth. “Looks like I’ll have to take action in the end so that these two end up together. Maybe my ideas aren’t that bad after all!”
She places a finger on his shoulder in an accusatory manner, which, coupled with the way her tone of voice has risen as she spoke, gets another laugh out of Luigi.
“No offense, Fiore,” he says humorously, gently taking her hand, “but your ideas are usually pretty... crazy.”
“Crazy?” Daisy repeats, holding a hand to her chest with horror painted on her face. The way she pretends to be tremendously offended is so comical that Luigi snorts. “Need I remind you that you’re talking to a princess, sir?”
Immediately, Luigi has to force himself to hold back his laughter and tries his best to compose a serious and grave expression. He places his arm on his stomach, closes his eyes and slightly bends his upper body, which is not easy considering that he’s still sitting on the floor.
“My apologies, Your Highness,” he pronounces as solemnly as he can.
This time it is Daisy who lets out a snort, much louder than the one he emitted seconds before.
“Oh, you think you're funny, huh?”
Before Luigi even has time to sit up again, he feels that Daisy lets go of his hand and takes it and the other one to his belly, where she begins tickling him with all her energy. Luigi starts laughing hysterically before his brain even manages to register what’s happening, and his thunderous laughter mixes with Daisy's, which is no less loud. Squirming from the tickling and trying, unsuccessfully, to grab his girlfriend's hands to stop her, Luigi ends up falling backwards, so that he’s lying on the ground with his Fiore on top of him.
At that moment, luckily, his princess seems to take pity on him and quits the attack. Luigi still hears her laughing as he tries to catch his breath with watery eyes, although, this time, they’re dampened for a very different reason. Opening them, he finds Daisy leaning over him, watching him with a mischievous glint in her eye and biting her lower lip.
She’s so beautiful that he feels a sudden urge to kiss her.
Smiling, still panting, Luigi raises a hand to caress her cheek. Daisy places her hands on either side of his head, and his heart almost leaps out of his chest as he realizes that she’s getting closer and closer.
When they’re very close, their noses almost touching, Luigi feels his girlfriend's fingers beginning to play with his hair once again. The naughty expression remains on her face, and a new giggle escapes her mouth before she finally breaks the distance between them.
The passion with which Daisy presses her lips against his makes Luigi break into a rapt smile before, at last, he can reciprocate her kiss. He does it with delight, as he does every time they kiss, unable to get enough of her taste, and he doesn't separate from her until he feels her laugh warmly against his mouth.
“I love you, Luigi,” Daisy says to him, staring into his eyes.
There it is again: the way she pronounces his name as if it were pure poetry. Her eyes still sparkle playfully, but her voice sounds firm and confident, with no trace of mockery. Luigi gives her the widest of his smiles and, once again, brushes a lock of hair back from her beautiful, beaming face.
“I love you too, Daisy.”
They kiss once more just as eagerly, Daisy still laughing in his mouth, Luigi catching that jovial joy he missed so much. With the same enthusiasm, Daisy sits up and pulls him close as she begins to beg him to please pick up his ukulele and play something for her, and Luigi, always willing to do anything to see her happy, hurries to find his instrument and sits back down in front of her.
He couldn't be happier to be here and now, with his Daisy, his Fiore, enjoying her company and plucking notes on his ukulele to express all the love he feels for her and how important she is in his life. As he sings, however, all that has just happened comes back to him, and Daisy's smiling face, the thrill with which she watches him as he plays for her, fills him with a fierce determination that makes him want to do everything in his power to protect her from harm.
He may not be able to change the situation his Fiore is in. He may not hold the key to making everything better for her. It may be something beyond his control.
But there is something he can do to keep his princess from ever feeling lonely again. Something he can do to be with her and keep her company even when he’s not physically by her side.
He’s going to write her a song.
#a lonely flower#zahra's writing#zahra's fics#super mario#luaisy#luaisy story#luaisy fanfic#luigi x daisy#luigi#princess daisy#estopa#sola#inspiration#birthday present#bb's birthday#silenzahra#Youtube
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Serendipity - Ch. 14
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Jey POV
*A Few Days Later*
Druitt's trip to Atlanta was coming to an end, as she stood on the side of the bed packing her bag.
I walked over behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I laid my head on her shoulder, swaying us slightly back and forth.
"Hey honey, what you doing?" she said as she continued packing.
"Nothing, just spending time with you" she folded the last shirt, then turned around in my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"Awee are you going to miss me" she said in a teasing tone. I hugged her tighter, pulling her closer. Leaning down, brushing my lips on hers.
"Of course that's without a doubt"
"Well I am going to miss you too" She leaned up more closing the gap between, engulfing ourselves in a lingering kiss. We stayed there for a few moments then pulled away.
"Let's compromise, my parents and brother are coming out to Florida for Thanksgiving" she rubbed her finger through my beard "Why don't you and Jeyce come out there as well"
"That sounds like a plan to me, then how about you come here for Christmas"
She smiled up at me "Sounds like a plan Main Event" I let her go and let her finish packing up. I helped her with the bags downstairs.
Jeyce came around the corner and went to give Dru a hug.
"I don't want you to leave"
She hugged him tighter and ruffled his hair "It's ok buddy you'll see me soon, I told your dad that you guys can come to my house down in Florida"
He pulled back with an excited expression on his face "Really?"
She laughed as she shook her head "yes really buddy"
She gave him a final hug and he ran off back to his game room. I placed her bags in the car and we left to the airport.
"I am glad your mom and son like me" she sighed as she leaned back in her seat.
"I had no doubt they would, you are a lovable person" I grabbed her hand and kissed the top of it as she smiled.
Once we pulled up to the airport and got her bags out I pulled her into another hug and a kiss.
"You know the drill, call me when you land beautiful"
She leaned up and pecked my lips again "I will, I love you see you on Monday"
"I love you more" with one final hug she grabbed her things and went inside, as I got back in my car and headed back home.
Druitt POV
*A Few Days Later*
I was walking to hair and makeup to finish getting ready for the night. I met up with Jess & Michelle, the glam team. They were finishing up with Indi.
"Hey Indi!" I went up and hugged her. We started in NXT together before I was drafted up a few years ago. "How have you been?"
"Hey girl, I've been good, how's champ life?"
"It is a lot easier chasing the title than trying to keep it I'll tell you that" we both laughed "Maybe one day me and you can throw down in the ring, like the good old days in NXT"
"I wouldn't be opposed to that" Jess and Michelle finished up with her and we hugged on last time and she left. I sat down in the chair and they began working their magic.
(outfit- I know this was Naomi gear but pretend there is a R instead of a N)
(Hair/Makeup & Gear)
*A Few Moments Later*
I was walking to the interview area as I had a backstage segment with Kayla. I noticed Jackie and Jey doing an interview. Jey was looking really good in his gear, and his shades. I've noticed he had his grills in. I looked over and seen how Jackie was looking at him and raised my eyebrow.
I watched as they concluded the interview and Jackie was talking to Jey, touching his shoulder and batting her eyes. I shook my head and watched the whole interaction. Jey politely moved her hand and ended the conversation, letting her know he was seeing someone. He finally noticed I was standing there and his eyes widen.
I smiled as I walked up "hey guys"
Jackie turned to me and smiled "hey girl, what's going on"
"Nothing much, about to do this interview with Kayla" I turned to Jey who was just looking in between us "What's up uce"
Jey raised his eyebrow but quickly fixed his expression "Im good ... uce" he looked me up and down. It was very hard not to break character right now. Thankfully Kayla walked up to cause a distraction.
"Hey Dru you ready?"
"Yeah I'm ready" Jey and Jackie walked away as Kayla and I setup and did the interview.
Afterwards I made it back to my dressing room, and before I could even fully close the door, my back was up against the wall.
"So I'm uce now?"
I couldn't help but laugh at his facial expression "What? Everybody calls you uce?"
"Yeah, but you ain't everybody" I smirked "it's babe, baby or anything else"
"Ok babe" I laughed as he let me go and gathered up all my stuff. We grabbed our things and drove back to the hotel.
I was doing my night routine when I came out the bathroom "Hey can you hand me that bag over there"
He reached over towards my things and grabbed my small bag and handed it to me.
"Thanks uce" and before I knew it I was pulled onto the bed, letting out a squeal.
"What did I tell you earlier?"
"What? I can't remember" I softly laughed as I saw something flash in his eyes
"Don't worry" he leaned up taking his shirt off "I am going to help you remember"
Tag list :
@xbriexx , @mindairy , @tribalchief2112 , @theusotwinzcom , @yana3sworld
#jey uso x black oc#jey uso#jey uso smut#jey uso x black fem oc#jey uso x black reader#jeyuso#wwe#main event jey uso
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So able what do you think about the Hotel?
Abel: *looks around* This place looks nice.
Charlie: *sees a new sinner* HI!!! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!! *takes a closer look* Wait…ABEL?! What are you doing here?! AND ADAM?! *noticed his smaller abdomen* Did you give birth?!
Abel: *looks uneasy*
Adam: *holds Abel close, unable to talk*
Lucifer: Charlie, sweetie, we need to have a talk.
Charlie: *sensing the tension* Oh yeah! Sure! Absolutely. I’ll uh…take you to my office!
The tension in the air was thick as Charlie guided the group into her office. The room was cozy and inviting, with warm lighting and mismatched furniture. Abel glanced around uneasily, still processing everything that had happened since his fall. Adam stayed close to him, his protective instincts kicking in, while Lucifer looked ashamed.
Charlie: *cheerfully, though her voice was tinged with nervousness* Alright! So, uh, what’s going on? Abel, why are you here? And Adam, did you really—?
Lucifer: Sweetheart, let’s take this one step at a time. There’s… a lot to unpack here.
Charlie nodded, sitting down behind her desk and gesturing for the others to take a seat. Abel hesitated but eventually settled into a chair, Adam sitting protectively beside him. Lucifer remained standing.
Lucifer: *with a sigh* First, Abel. As you’ve probably figured out, he’s… fallen. Heaven has cast him out.
Charlie: *eyes widening* What?! Why? Abel, what happened?
Abel: *looking down, his voice barely above a whisper* I… broke a law. I snuck my father into Heaven because he was hurt and pregnant. But now, it’s all gone. My wings, my halo, my place in Heaven.
Charlie’s heart broke at the pain in Abel’s voice. She reached out, placing a comforting hand on his arm.
Charlie: I’m so sorry, Abel. That’s horrible. But you’re safe now, okay? We’ll figure this out.
Abel nodded weakly, but his expression was still haunted. Lucifer’s gaze softened slightly as he watched his son, but he quickly turned his attention to Adam.
Lucifer: And Adam… You gave birth in Heaven, didn’t you?
Adam’s jaw tightened, his hand clutching Abel’s shoulder protectively. For a moment, it seemed like he wouldn’t respond, but then he let out a shaky breath.
Adam: I did. Sera… she took them from me. Said a sinner like me didn’t deserve to raise Heaven’s children. She sent me back to Hell after they were born.
Charlie: *horrified* She what?! That’s awful!
Adam’s grip on Abel tightened, his voice breaking as he continued.
Adam: I didn’t even get to hold them. I don’t know where they are, if they’re safe… And now Abel’s here. I failed him, too. I failed all of them.
Abel: *turning to Adam, his voice firm despite the tremble* No. You didn’t fail me. You’re my dad. You raised me, you loved me. That’s more than I could have ever asked for.
Adam’s eyes filled with tears, and he pulled Abel into a tight hug. Charlie watched them, her own eyes misty, before looking at Lucifer.
Lucifer: And this will be a kicker…Abel is your half brother Charlie.
Charlie: And Abel… he’s my half- brother?
Lucifer: *nodding, his voice steady but tinged with regret* Yes. Abel was born human more than 10,000 years ago. Adam is his biological father, but I carried him. When he was born, I left him with Adam and Eve to be raised on Earth. It was… easier that way.
Abel: *looking up at Lucifer* I…I’ve always known…
Adam: How? I never said anything!
Abel: You didn’t. Ma— I mean, Eve did. Many years ago. Said that I deserved to know.
Lucifer: *expression softened* I’ve regretted leaving you ever since. But I thought it was the best thing for you—to grow up human, away from the chaos of my life. Away from Hell.
Abel stared at him, a mixture of emotions swirling in his eyes. Before he could respond, Charlie spoke up, her tone gentle but determined.
Charlie: Okay, this is a lot. But we’re all here now, and we’re going to figure this out together. Abel, you’re family. And Adam, you’re family, too. You don’t have to go through this alone anymore.
Adam and Abel both nodded, their expressions softening at Charlie’s kindness. Lucifer stepped closer, placing a hand on Abel’s shoulder, his golden eyes filled with a rare warmth.
Lucifer: She’s right. Whatever happens next, we’ll face it together. You’re not alone, Abel.
Abel: *reaches up and hugs Lucifer* Thank you…
Lucifer: *relaxes in his hold and returns the hug*
Charlie: Wow! I’ve always wanted siblings! And now I have 3 in less than a year! This is beautiful! *starts crying in Adam’s chest*
Adam: *feeling awkward* Whoa! Off! Get off!
#fallen Abel#family reunion!#dawww#abel hazbin hotel#abel#abel hazbin#hazbin hotel abel#ask abel#hazbin hotel#Charlie#ask Charlie#charlie morningstar#lucifer morningstar#ask Lucifer#Lucifer#Adam#ask Adam#adam hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel adam
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Another morning another day
I've been thinking a lot about going to the animal shelter
#speculation nation#there r many cats there and i have an aching spot available for one#passively thinking about getting a kitten. just bc id enjoy getting to raise a cat for once#and i think tally would be a good big sister given how much she groomed cassy#at the same time tho i wanna adopt a cat that might not otherwise be adopted so quickly. aka an adult cat#& also like with tally. i very purposefully picked out the loud black cat bc everyone was passing her up#but she was YELLINGGG at me from the cage. and i was like 'oh alright' and took her home#and now shes my sweet darling girl. she just needed like a year to chill out so she is no longer a chaos demon lmao#it's also hard to know what youre getting with a kitten. and it's a lot of resposibility. so like. idk.#but also. Kitten Cute... 🥺#i'll have to see what they have when i go there. still not happening for at least a few more days.#it feels too soon rn. but im thinking about this all to cope lol. i hate having only one cat.#i keep wanting to go out to greet Cat Number 2 in the living room. but. nope. so i go back to greet tally on my bed#she's a loving cat but she does Not like to be smothered. and im kind of smothering her lmao#that's another reason to get a 2nd cat. yes i want tally to have company when im gone at work#but also i need a second cat that is very affectionate bc I Want My Hugs And Kisses Dammit#idk when im getting his ashes back. probably somewhat soon. id estimate tomorrow? they were rly quick with sammy's#idk what im gonna do if they call while im at work lol. cry probably.#tho i havent cried in almost a full day!! been like 22 hours. i have been Trying to cope. mixed results.#ah well. c'est la vie and all that shit.#animal death ment/
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Why you all got ok mothers leave some for the rest of us
#hello?????#my mother had me exorcised when i was 16#or 17#my father beat my mother when i was a kid and would randomly lash out based on literally nothing#calling me (aged 3-14) and my mother cunts and whores and all kinds of slurs and threatening to beat or kill us#and every once in a while he'd just get up and leave for a week without telling anyone. we had only one car so mother had#to find alternative ways to get to work (grandparents had no car at the time) (we lived in a tiny rural village)#when he came back he never apologized and just told my mother 'you know how i am. what else do you even expect?'#he also threatened to beat me up whenever i cried or got scared or sad or embarrassed. i was not allowed to be anything but#happy. anger was also allowed but obviously not towards my parents. if i did that i would get locked in a room for several hours#if i self-harmed while locked in there i got yelled at but that just told me that i needed to self-harm more to please my parents#i think i internalised that because when i disobeyed them when i was very small (like...3-5 years) they'd spank me with a wooden spoon or#give me a strong head slap or two. i came to expect violence and when they stopped because it just made me more volatile#i felt the need to enact that expected violence upon myself.#i was unimaginably afraid for my life and for my mother's life until i was about 14. i used to pray for my father's death#but then again i prayed for my mother's death too#i had nightly night terrors about coming home from school and seeing blood everywhere and him kneeling over my mother's corpse#a lot of my good dreams revolved around killing him. i dreamed of coming home before he could kill her and stopping him#in a way i dreamed of being at least 50% safe.#both of my parents also beat me for being neurodivergent and lashes oit whenever i asked too many questions or couldn't#understand something. i always got either the r slur or i got told that I'm just playing a r*tard#to spite and anger them. everything i did in my life was specifically to anger them in their eyes.#i hated both of them so so much and i loved both of them so much and I didn't know how to put it all together#i hated that the father who took me to fairs and played football with me was the father whose touch had a 70 % chance of being violent#i flinched when seeing a hand move until i was 19 and screamed when getting hugged by anyone until i turned 17#my mother's physical violence was something other adults found funny - if she didn't spank me with a spoon; she'd#hit my arms until they got all red and numb and my crying just made her angrier. she still does this. I'm 22.#but when i accidentally ask the wrong question - the retarded one - when i do something to set her off she just hits my#arm until it doesn't even hurt anymore because i stop feeling it altogether. i don't cry because of the pain but because I'm scared#and sorry and embarrassed and guilty. and anyway we don't have tags left for my mother's abuse
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sometimes I tell my parents things. often then i wonder why i even open my mouth. but when I keep it light I end up wondering why I can't seem to connect on any real kind of level. and I add another thing to the list for therapy
#my mom is politely skeptical about whether i should be on anxiety meds and i don't even know why i even brought it up#to the woman who says she 'just quit worrying' after she almost died in her 30s#not all of us can just. do that#she said her friend she's been taking care of has anxiety n depression and she 'gets it more now' so i think she was trying to be supportive#but i don't think she gets what i mean when i say i've been full of paralyzing dread pretty much every day since i became self aware#legit i do not know why i brought it up. getting different meds is a thought i've only entertained a little bit for a long while#not really substantial enough to bring up nor really anyone's business but mine#i think maybe i just want to know my family cares. like maybe she could ask 'why do you think different meds would help?'#but our family doesn't communicate like that or at least her part of it doesn't. and me and t learned it from her#we take a side immediately when we don't feel certain and express doubts like facts instead of asking questions#that has been a skill i've been trying to learn#to ask questions before taking a side or forming an opinion even#common sense but not to all#anyway we went back to talking about their upcoming trip#i think the thing we connected most genuinely on was she wanted to know how things are at work for me since it's been stressful#she formed a lot of her identity around being competent and respected at work#and i think she finds it easier to say 'i want you to be successful and secure in the world' than 'i want you to be happy'#i don't think she'd articulate it that way. but i think that's a kind of 'happy' that makes sense to her on a gut level. that she Gets more#she finds comfort and security there and she wants it for her kids too#and i know we can connect on some other things. music. cooking. science. but i don't think she gets me in certain ways i wish she would#i love my mom a lot i just sometimes want her to hug me for longer
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