#she has some other things to worry about
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Leliana in DAI: *just saw the woman she faithfully served for years and the peace effort she was leading get blown up, is declared an insurrectionist and a heretic by what's left of the organization that helped her find a new purpose in life after being betrayed by Marjolaine and has to deal with the massive number of assasins, threats and other enemies the inquisition faces (and depending on your choices may have romanced a Warden that died or was possibly killed herself by the Warden)
Players: "Why won't Leliana tell me stories ☹️?"
#leliana#dragon age#fandom critical#leliana dragon age#dragon age leliana#sister nightingale#da inquisition#dragon age inquisition#dai#da:i#da: i#da i#bioware#like bro shes not here to be your personal storyteller#she has some other things to worry about#gorl is at literally the lowest point of her life and people want her to go and tell stories to the inky like she did for the warden
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I have a germ of a theory that good Christian fiction has stories that are less about shaving down your personality to meet some specific mold of what a good Christian looks like, and more about "how gloriously different are all the saints."
Not that the Christian life doesn't involve fighting against our own sinful nature and conforming ourselves to Christ-like behavior, but I think it makes for better, more realistic, and more universal stories when you also recognize that people have different gifts and flaws and they're going to be called to use their unique personalities to serve the kingdom of God in their own unique way, instead of assuming everyone has to conform themselves to a very specific (often secular-culturally based) image of good behavior. It makes for a much more vibrant story.
#catholic things#books#i'm still ruminating on charlotte yonge#because i usually contrast modern christian fiction with how the classics incorporated christianity#but she's the first classic victorian author i've found that i'd describe as writing christian fiction#which makes for a more direct comparison#she did handle religion in some very good ways#but i tried another of her books after 'heir'#and it reminded me of what i didn't like about the childhood section of 'heir'#but magnified a lot#she wants to show her children overcoming flaws#but she has a very narrow english anglo-catholic view of goodness#and that means her idea of christianity can come across as very judgemental and narrow-minded#things that are not actually sins in and of themselves are treated as moral failings inherent to other cultures#and the kids spend so much time worrying about cutting out sin that you don't get to see enough of their unique personality#i'd be willing to try more from her but i think i'd have to stick to the stories about adult characters
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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A year was not so long after all. He prepared her for the day when he would leave. But when the moment came, he found himself less prepared than she. For the first time in his life, Spock thought about returning from a mission, wondered whether or not he would survive. She had no one else, and that was a disturbing thought.
Back on board the Enterprise, he opened his case to unpack his few belongings and found things not quite as he’d left them. Tucked in at the bottom under all the folded clothes, Saavik had hidden away her knife. Spock stood in the privacy of his cabin turning it in his hand, remembering every word of their good-bye.
Some small doodles based on the above passages :)
#my art#described#star trek: tos#the pandora principle#s'chn t'gai spock#s'chn t'gai saavik#spock#saavik#jim kirk#she left her knife with him and I’m supposed to be normal about that. okay#thing I’m also apparently supposed to be normal about: in those five years spock could’ve tossed the knife. he could’ve!! but he kept it!!!#he kept a weapon!! because it was Saavik’s!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THIS OTHER THAN CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also I know it’s ooc for spock to be openly weeping like that but I thought it was funney so I did it anyway. although dang maybe I -#- should’ve considered him doing like. a garnet cry instead. waterfalls coming out of his eyes but he remains expressionless.#ough man that also would’ve been good#also it kills me that in the end spock was more worried about leaving than saavik. spent all that time preparing her but oh you didn’t -#- expect youd need to prepare yourself too didn’t ya huh????? huh???????? admit it. you’re a father spock#also like. did spock just say ‘hey I need to go away for a. year.’ and Jim was just like ‘okey dokey pal :3’ LIKE DID HE EVER WONDER#or maybe spock has just wracked up so many unused vacation days that Jim’s just thinking that’s what he’s doing. like ‘hell yea bud take -#- a nice long break. the ship’ll be here when you’re ready :)’ did Jim ever wonder if spock was doing like. kolinahr 2 or something#ANYWAY ANYWAY LOTTA TAGS FOR SOME SILLY DOODLES TAKE EM
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telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person
#they live rent free in my head as you can tell#ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney#tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship#aughhhh i just. love them so much#and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens#because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!!#like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he#after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak#meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes#just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even#though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein#shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for#one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right#okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them#platonic alecourtney
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if you don't think they can still work, that honestly sounds like a you problem
#fionna and cake#adventure time#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#finn mertens#marceline abadeer#//honestly i just wanted to doodle golbetty who kills my eyes#and then whoops she has hair now.#alongside;;; other design changes#maybe she's like this bc of some kinda wish#like lets just pretend wishes worked mkay? mkay#or maybe this is basically like a mini copy to keep around simon who knows at this point#i did not plan that far ahead#anyway monster wife lets go#also mans deadass comes home after being missing for gods knows how long#everyone is worried sick about him and he just rolls up like nothing happened with his wife and absolutely nothing is wrong nope sirree#everything is fine and normal and cool :)#ALSO the absolute urge to do a funnie animatic/pmv thing with simon is growing (the pigeon song by cavetown will NOT leave me alone)#anywho hi hello yes im done rambling now goodbye!
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hii 📓
Okay so the thing is that I wanted a “the Zenin raised Megumi instead of Gojo” fic but the thing is that I’m absolutely convinced that if the Zenin were the ones that took Megumi they wouldn’t actually take tsumiki too. The fandom consensus I’ve personally seen has been that she would have been taken and mistreated by zenin for being a female non sorcerer but I personally think they would have just straight up left her behind.
They only bought Megumi. They keep non sorcerers and women as servants in their compound but all of them are Zenin themselves. Tsumiki isn’t related and I couldn’t really see any reason why they’d want her. Which turned this into a fic where Tsumiki loses her brother, but she’s trying to find him again, she swears. I think of it as my “siblings doomed by the narrative desperately try to write a new one where they can be together” fic.
The thing is that Tsumikis mom was one of those people who thought love and consumption were synonymous. She had a habit of getting caught up with assholes and just… having both of them chew on each other for a while until it turns into this horrible fucking bloodbath.
Tojis just another loser her mom got caught up in, but he’s Tsumiki’s favorite out of all the losers, because he gave her her brother. Her mom marries this random guy she barley knows and Tsumikis pretty sure she does it so they can both ditch their kids twice as much, secure in the knowledge that there’s supposedly another person checking in. It works out great for them, because they both stop coming entirely. It’s fine, because Tsumiki has Megumi and Megumi has Tsumiki and they don’t need anything else.
It’s one of those things where they were in really unhealthy circumstances and it made their relationship a little bit unhealthy but not necessarily bad. They both had to grow up way too fast and deal with way too much too soon and become codependent on each other because they are, in the most literal way possible, dependent on one another. Neither of them know how to love in a way that doesn’t involve sacrificing themselves for their sibling, mostly because they don’t have a way that doesn’t involve that.
They’re in a sinking ship and tsumiki knows it. Their parents aren’t coming back. The money is going to run out sooner or later. Their problems are stacking up.
Megumi has confessed to her that he sees things that no one else does. When she asks him how he knows no one else sees them, he explains that they’d say something if they did and won’t say anything else. And she doesn’t know what to believe but she refuses to call him crazy. He tells her that monsters cling to her back and he fights them off for her. She patches up his bruises and cuts and tells him he’s brave and tries to figure out if she’s just imagining that her back feels lighter after. He tells her that there are dogs that only he can see that have started following him around, and she tells him she believes him and can never remember, later, if she meant it or was just saying it.
The last time Toji came by, he left them more money than tsumikis ever seen in her life, took them to ice cream, told them that he was sorry he was so shit at this and that the money was Megumi’s share in a payment. It was for something he was going to help daddy with later. Tsumiki and him were to use it to take care of themselves and be healthy, because Megumi couldn’t help him later if he wasn’t. And tsumiki was always afraid of what he meant by that, but in the end, she let it slip her mind. After all, Toji hadn’t been by in ages. He probably wouldn’t come by at all.
And he didn’t. But others did. Two men she’s never met before are waiting outside their building one day, and when they see Megumi, they laugh. But the thing that Tsumiki can never get out of her mind later is that she swears they weren’t looking at Megumi directly. They were looking at his dogs.
Tsumiki basically tries to get Megumi and powerwalk past them, but they’re a lot bigger and a lot stronger and there’s nothing she can do, really. They have a brief conversation about whether they should take her too, before one decides that Toji only sold him his kid and to leave the other behind. This makes both of them try to run, but there’s nothing either of them can do to overpower the men, and the men say that “Naobito would go ballistic if they left the ten shadows behind” so they take Megumi and leave her.
They put Megumi in a car and shove Tsumiki to the curb outside of it, and she tried to hold onto his hand, she swears. She grabbed at the car door even when the car started moving, and she banged on the windows, and she watched as Megumi kicked and punched and screamed inside, until one of them hit him and he went still. She ends up falling and hitting her head when the car picks up speed, and when she wakes up again, the cars gone and she has no idea where it went.
And it becomes a foundational moment for who she is. I think she was just intensely lonely before Megumi and poured a lot of herself into this idea of a family together. Tsumikis never able to shake the moment of her being outside the car and Megumi being on the inside, and not being able to get into him. She can never again get what she felt in that moment out of her head.
She goes to the police and tells them that it’s her little brother, his dad sold him but she wants him back, and they’re like ��…”. The issue is that apparently her mom can pick up the damn phone if the police call and she shows up, spins some lie about how her and the stepdad split up and he took the kid with him, they never adopted each others kids so it was within his rights, Tsumiki was taking the separation hard and acting out. She lies, basically, because toji hadn’t kept up his end of the deal and dropped in to check in (neither had she) and his kid wasn’t her responsibility, he could do what he wanted with him. She doesn’t want the police poking around the way she lives. Just let the kid go because he’s probably dead and not her real brother anyway.
Tsumiki refuses to give up on him. They were both kids who no one cared about but they cared about each other and that had to be enough. But she’s seven with no support and zero idea on how to find him. She starts skipping school to look for him in random streets, puts up flyers, can’t go outside without looking for him. She gets held back a year in school because of how much she skips and she can’t bring herself to care. She buys him gifts on every birthday and writes him letters she can’t post because she’s going to find her brother and she’s going to prove to him that she never once stopped looking for him. She just. She needs him to know that she never stopped looking for him. She needs to find him and be able to honestly tell him she never stopped trying.
One day her mom comes back in clothes she can’t afford and comes with movers they shouldn’t be able to afford and announces a move they definitely can’t afford. Tsumikis absolutely opposed to going because if her brother comes to look for her, she needs to be in their old apartment so he can find her. She doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter. They have mysterious new benefactors who are setting up a trust to take care of tsumiki with a very generous stipend for her mom but they have to move to Sendai as a stipulation of getting the money.
It’s not until the attorney who’s managing her trust hands her a set of glittery blue butterfly hairpins that tsumiki realizes her mom sold her brother a second time.
The thing is that tsumiki had this one cheap set of butterfly hairpins she’d always stopped to look at in the store when she took Megumi to go grocery shopping. Shed never buy them, because they couldn’t afford it, but it was the thing she wanted most openly in front of him. She was always secretly really insecure about her hair, because they were the kind of poor where bar soap was a luxury they could only sometimes afford and kids at school made fun of how her hair was dirty and frayed. Megumi was the only one who ever saw how badly she wanted those stupid hair clips. If they had to give her a set of butterfly hair clips, it’s because he demanded that they did.
It’s basically implied that the Zenin are the ones paying for her care and upkeep due to an unspecified deal they cut with Megumi, but when they approached her mom with it, they added the caveat that Tsumiki had to be moved to a new city entirely and there could be no forwarding address left anywhere.
The zenins stance on tsumiki is, effectively, that she’s a weakness Megumi needs to be weaned off of. They honestly assumed he’d just like, forget she ever existed and he. Did not do that. He actually pitched a total bitch fit. Tried to scale the compound walls. Bit multiple people including the clan leader. But he’s got the ten shadows, he’s heir to the clan, and he can���t be caught up on some random non sorcerer who isn’t even a Zenin. They end up agreeing to pay for her to live very comfortably if he starts cooperating more but they want to make sure that he can’t ever find her again if he does ever succeed in running away.
Tsumiki is at once full of hope and hopeless, because on one hand, the butterfly clips prove that Megumi still loves her and remembers her, at least in her mind. But at the same time, she’s being moved to Sendai and doesn’t know how they’ll ever find each other again. She doesn’t honestly know if they’d recognize each other if they saw each other again. She wears the butterfly clips every day, even when she gets too old for the style, because she’s more confident about her brother recognizing them than her.
The thing about tsumiki is that she doesn’t understand hate. She just doesn’t. Her mom and toji always got caught up in these perceived slights and revenge and never once let go of the past. They’d destroy themselves if it meant taking down the people they hated with them. She never wanted that. She wanted to live with the people she loved and she’d happily turn around and forget everything, all the pain, all the searching, if it just meant she could go back to being megumis sister.
This isn’t about hate. This is about that moment outside the car, where her brother was inside and she couldn’t get in to him. This is about how helpless and small she felt when they shoved her to the curb and ripped megumis hand out of hers. She needs to make sure that when she finds Megumi, she can take him home again. So she decides she needs to learn how to fight.
Itadori Yuuji has the constitution of an ox and the strength to match it, and he is known for getting in fights with bullies and trouncing them so thoroughly that it’s never a question of who wins when the fight starts. He’s insanely physically capable and can hold his own in a fight with ease. He’s also nice and kind and Tsumiki’s comfortable enough asking him to teach her how to throw a punch or two.
She is bad at it.
So fucking bad at it.
But she never gives up, and Itadori is nice enough to keep teaching her despite how embarrassingly horrible she is at it all. He always asks her why she wants to learn so bad, she doesn’t seem to like it all, and she never answers his question honestly.
In their last year of middle school, their class has a trip to Kyoto. She, Itadori, and the rest of their group walk into some random restaurant in the city and have barely sat down when someone comes inside, starts searching every booth in the restaurant while shouting Tsumikis name.
And oh. They could recognize each other after all.
She looked for Megumi in every crowd she was ever in, but she didn’t consider that he was doing the same. Or that he would see her first.
Her brother grew up without her seeing it. Hes older, dressed in strange, expensive clothes, has a slightly bruised up face and split lip, but his eyes are the same, and he looks like the brother she remembered.
But a lot more nervous than Megumi ever was. He was a tiny, stoic child who didn’t take any shit and never showed fear, even when there were monsters that only he could see. But he’s nervous when he tells her that she probably doesn’t recognize him or remember him, but when she was a lot younger, he—
Megumi. He’s her little brother. Of course she remembers him. She’s been looking for him everywhere.
Megumi didn’t smile much as a child, but he smiles at her then. He tells her he doesn’t have a lot of time and she tells him that they can leave out the back, and he never let her hold his hand as a child but he takes her hand so easily in that second. And just for a second, she’s his sister again, and it’s everything she wanted.
They never make it out the back.
Two men come in. Megumi calls one of them uncle, and he goes stiff and flat the second he sees him. His uncle apologizes for his nephew, tells everyone that he always makes scenes when they’re out in public, tells him to apologize to the nice people and leave. Megumi was mistaken.
Tsumiki tríes to keep ahold of his hand. Really, she does. She tries to tell people to call the police. But megumis “uncle” steps towards her and Megumi slams him into a table, and then suddenly Megumi’s the one insisting that they leave immediately. They can go. It’s fine. They’re leaving. She loses ahold of his hand.
She tries to follow, but the other man restrains her. She learns that she’s better at slamming plates into peoples heads than she is at punching, and at this point itadoris Friend In Danger Override has been triggered and he fucking tackles the dude, which gives tsumiki the clearing that she needs to chase outside after her brother. She gets out just in time to see him be pushed into a car, and she’s had years to think about the last time this happened and figure out what to do differently. She throws herself in front of the car and refuses to move.
See her entire stance is that she’ll sooner get run over and killed in the street than let them do this a second time, but she also can see Megumi trying to fucking punch the drivers head in from behind because he’s about to hit his sister. His uncles trying to restrain him, and just for a second, she sees his hands make the shape of the shadow puppets he used to show her as children. Something invisible slams her out of the way just as his uncle knocks him out.
She picks up a rock and tries to smash in the fucking window with it, and itadori has to pull her out of the way to keep her from getting her feet run over when the car finally tears out of the parking lot. She goes ballistic on him for stopping her because her brother was right there and she lost him again and she didn’t even get the license plate. He was right there.
The police basically do jack all again. There’s no license plate, no names they can follow up on, and they’re still half convinced this is a settled custody issue even though tsumiki insists her brother was sold by his dad and is very plainly getting hurt wherever he is. Itadori is now a devoted advocate of finding tsumikis brother and reuniting them, and both basically kind of end up becoming really close to the other? He’s taking care of himself and his grandpa alone, she’s alone while her moms awol again, and they both become the others support system.
At one point, there’s this random girl and boy who doesn’t speak who shows up to their school for indeterminate reasons. The girl is bored and twirling her glasses in one hand while the person in a suit that they’re with asks the principal questions, and when tsumikis eyes catch at the right angle, she sees an invisible monster clinging to a classmates back through them. She realizes it’s exactly what Megumi always talked about and still remembers that the people who took him could see his dogs. She corners the two others in a room and tries to demand information about the invisible monsters or see if they know her brother or the people who took him, and immediately gets blown off. The fight escalates until the girl tells him that actually, yeah. She knows tsumikis brother. He is a very special person to some very powerful people, and the only way she can ever help him is to tell him that she’s let go of him and that he needs to do the same to her. That’s the only message that the people who have him would ever let get through, and his life would get a lot better as soon as he got it.
The people who have him would give him anything in the world, except for her. He could be a lot happier and healthier than he is right now if he just agreed to stop trying to find tsumiki. If she really wants to help her brother, then she needs to let him go.
Tsumiki nails her in the back of the head with a milk carton when she tries to walk away. It sloshes out on her. Tsumiki did not intend this. She cannot admit that fact. There are some actions you just have to own when you do them. She tells the girl that he’s her brother and she’s never letting go of him. She’s going to find him. They can’t keep him from her forever. She doesn’t care how long it takes her.
For a second, tsumiki really thinks this girl is going to kick her ass, but she doesn’t. She wishes her luck and tells her she’ll need it, and it’s only later that tsumiki realizes she slipped the eyeglasses into her pocket.
And as it turns out, her brothers monsters were real all along.
There was a knife that toji left in the frame of his bed. Tsumiki confiscated it from Megumi as soon as he found it, and it was odd and strange and gave her bad feelings when she held it, and it can kill the things that gather on her back. When she follows Itadori to their local high school and joins the occult club in an attempt to find more people involved in this world of invisible monsters, she wears the eyeglasses and keeps the knife hidden in her bag.
It comes in handy when her senpais are trying to open this thing and suddenly there’s like a fucking portal opening and Actually Let’s Not Oh Too Late Let’s Run Let’s Fucking Run.
They run.
Meanwhile at the hospital Megumi found out in very quick succession that his sister has fucking sukunas finger and also that there’s a very over enthusiastic himbo who is the self appointed vice president of the Find Fushiguro Megumi And Bring Him Home Club who absolutely fucking refuses to leave his side. Sorry who are you. Why are you so enthusiastic about finding him. Megumi sort of was the one doing the finding there was a whole tracking situation and him waiting dramatically in the shadows like they just did it.
Anyway they run very very quickly to tsumikis school where she is dodging she is serpentining this is a fuckton of monsters oh holy fuck is that her brother?
The fight goes bad.
Tsumiki manages to follow itadori and her brother out at a much slower pace because she’s not a freak of nature like itadori and shows up just in time to see her brother shouting at itadori to not eat the fucking finger while itadori is absolutely trying to eat the fucking finger.
She chucks her shoe at him. The finger goes flying.
Then the monster eats it instead.
Tsumiki: :o
Yuuji: :o
Megumi: fuck
Now there’s a bigger monster and the fight goes even worse. There’s a lot of shouting. Itadori ends up with her knife. Then he ends up getting eaten and they’re down both a knife and itadori, who’s probably fucking dead. Then megumis insisting she run and she’s insisting he shut the fuck up because it’s sort of taken a decade to get this close to him again and she’s not fumbling the bag now because of a monster on the rampage. Have a sense of fucking priorities here.
Then itadori bursts out of the monsters stomach with the knife like the fucking Kool Aid Man and the fight is suddenly very over. Good job, team.
Gojo rolls up to his most stoic and eternally pissed off student having a dramatic and emotional reunion with his sister.
Yuuji, in a very bad whisper: no no so like she’s been looking for him for years but he saw her in the restaurant
Gojo: :o go on
Yuuji: and then he got caught by like, I don’t know, he said he was his uncle or something but the dude acted so weird and creepy and they put him in a car and Tsumiki tried to stop the car but they got away
Gojo: *gasp* what no
Yuuji: I know! Anyway then I start helping her look for him but we can’t find him anywhere until I’m at the hospital and he just walks up to me right?? And I’m like “dude I have been looking everywhere for you” and he’s like “I have no idea who you are, I’m here about that fucked up demon finger” and I’m like—
Megumi, really trying to have a moment here: we can both hear you
And megumis like “this is uh. My new teacher. I guess. I am his only student. And he is uh. Enthusiastic. Do not linger in conversation with him.”
Tsumiki is lingering. She needs fucking intel so he can’t disappear again. Where does he go to school and can she transfer there. It’s fucking wizard school? Will they take her even though she’s not a wizard? She cannot emphasize enough that she will study any fucking subject they want so that way she can be close with her brother again she does not care if it’s applicable to her education or life. She can throw things at people itadori tell the man tell him how enthusiastically she will throw things at monsters for their weird fucking wizard school.
Itadori: she hit me in the face with her shoe like five minutes ago
Tsumiki: see???
Megumi keeps trying to forbid her from wizard school but she’s technically the older sister so she has override rights. She will go to wizard school. How does she get wizard school to accept her.
And Gojos just really weird and off and keeps looking at Megumi and saying that he “didn’t know he had a sister.”
He really didn’t know that Megumi had a sister he wanted to stay with.
And then suddenly it’s like a switch is flipped and he’s back to his normal self telling them to leave everything to him, because he’ll make sure tsumiki can come back with them. And uh? Itadori? Weirdly physically capable kid who will apparently eat anything? Is he going to be good getting home after all this?
Itadori: actually if it’s not too much trouble can I go to wizard school too my grandpa sort of died half an hour ago and I don’t have plans for the rest of my life. Tsumikis kind of my best friend and I’d like to make sure she’s all good at wizard school. I’m a really good fighter and I stabbed the last monster so like can I come too because you know. Dead grandpa. No family or future to speak of. Haha.
Gojo:
Megumi:
Tsumiki, softly: dude
There’s more after they make it to jujutsu high but this is already really long so we leave it here
#ask games#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#continuing my streak of becoming obsessed with minor background characters#other highlights include itadori trying to platonically wingman for tsumiki with her brother (because it’s been like a decade and she knows#nothing about him and he knows nothing about her and she’s terrified he won’t like her once they get to know each other again) so that way#itadori can be the one asking the get to know you questions and tsumiki doesn’t have to admit out loud that she and her brother know nothing#about each other only the inherent problem is that her brother is actually unfairly pretty and has a sort of dry wit and is reserved but#when you get to know him he’s such a genuine dude and oh fuck oh no he’s in trouble this is his best friends long lost brother he has to be#violating some kind of code here. Kugisaki stop laughing at him this is a crisis.#gojo basically backed out of teenage fatherhood when he saw Megumi walking around with the divine dogs because it’s one thing to butt heads#with a major clan over an outcast member it’s another to do it for their most sacred technique#he thought that Megumi would be better taken care of than anyone else in the clan as the person with the ten shadows and that he’d probably#be better off than with an emotionally broken seventeen year old who works at least 28 days a month and has no idea how to raise a child#he never realized that Megumi had a sister he wanted to stay with who the Zenin separated him from#he tells himself he would have intervened if he had known because he’s been secretly worried and guilty about not taking in Megumi after all#since Maki showed up and said some worrying things about the clan heir and his standard of living and got the confirmation when he met#tsumiki and realized that he could have kept them together all those years ago and didnt. megumi and tsumiki kind of haunt him with lost#potential because not only could they have grown up a family but they could have grown up his family. megumi doesn’t know why satoru gojo#of all people is being so weirdly helpful and intense about about sponsoring tsumiki and keeping her close to him
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AU where Franka doesn't get approval for the transfer and instead has to cut and run to Rhodes Island alone. Liskarm just misses finding out and isn't able to follow. and then they reunite some years down the line for whatever reason, Franka happy at Rhodes Island but still a little lonely and Liskarm saying she's fine but being at Blacksteel for so long has made her colder and harsher and just plain miserable.
(it isn't all bad, she at least has Jessica and Vanilla, but they can't get under her skin the way Franka could. Liskarm swears that Franka would get under skin sometimes just to dig out the bad feelings.)
(and Franka has people. she's surrounded by people she cares about. operators cut from the same cloth as her, that will charge headlong into battle beside her. colleagues who will nag her about sleeping and eating and training and mission parameters. friends who will rag on her for her choice of reading material. but Liskarm was all of those things rolled into one. and she is not here)
#(for the purposes of this AU Vanilla and Jessica are with Liskarm at Blacksteel)#Liskarm's squad ending up on the landship for whatever reason#Liskarm seeing Franka out of the corner of her eye and just being knocked for six#their reunion would be an all out battle in an empty training room#other staff hearing about it and trying to intervene like ''what is this Blacksteel person doing to our beloved Franka''#Franka and Liskarm kick the shit out of each other but aren't able to actually talk because too many people watching#Vanilla and Jessica ''oh this is normal. this is normal! it's been 3 years but it's totally normal! don't worry!''#(it's really that trope of ''ex you still care about is doing good and you're miserable'' for Liskarm)#arknights tag#yeah I'll tag it#friskarm#if you ask me if this AU has a sad or happy ending. it has whatever ending you want#I do think Franka and Liskarm's relationship changed when they transferred to Rhodes Island together#because it was a silent admission that their partnership was no longer the result of circumstance#'we've been put together' to 'we're choosing to stick together'#so to lose that aspect of their relationship would be... interesting#also Franka has to slow down for Liskarm. Liskarm is /meant/ to curb Franka's reckless behaviour#so I like the idea that Franka at RI alone is even more reckless because she's not being properly challenged#she gels too well with some operators and it's so easy that it's terrifying#in the sense that combat becomes tunnel vision. which is not a good thing#I wrote more in the tags than the actual post..... this is normal for me
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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i love my counselor because she refuses to pry. don’t even know if she knows that’s an option, I have so rarely met a person who stays so thoroughly in her lane.
#the thing about me is that I’m an open book with an expressive face. and also I keep a lot inside and refuse to speak on things#especially things that are bothering me#and that can be irresistible to some people who just want to dig into my soul#and it’s why I was afraid of counseling for so long. that someone would be like ‘what can we unearth in Maria’s psyche’#and she just doesn’t care/doesn’t try/is only going to take me at face value#so there is lots I don’t tell her/refuse to speak on. and you know what doesn’t it MATTER. because the point is not to push myself#to some arbitrary measure of absurd honesty/openness but to talk about stuff when/if it’s helpful#also a huge way she’s already helped me is she’s just like ‘girl you’re fine’#no but actually though. she’s always like ‘you sound like you’re thriving to me!’#and she’s also just like ‘you’re busy you have energy you have plans you make good eye contact you clearly have confidence’#with the underlying message being. the thing that’s hurting you the most is your own anxiety. which sounds obvious lol#but it is kind of the sheer act of worrying itself. the other stuff is (mostly) in order#and that has helped. she also has cured me of some wrong self/belief stuff.#like I was once like ‘I’m not organized! I make no plans!’ and she was like ‘your plans have plans what are you talking about’#she also said I was highly logical and analytical and didn’t act emotionally/from a place of emotion#and I was just like ‘pikachu face’ because one of my deepest beliefs was that I WAS an emotionally driven person#and she was like nope. you’re highly rational. I mean I took it as a compliment and loved to hear it#the problem with me is when the brain will simply spiral out of control and the details become monsters and I make things a big deal#I’m super good at that#anyway yeah just processing
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Coda and Ichor! (Catacombtale Style!)
These two don't have a *ton* of interaction in the Main story, but since Ichor and Balance are the only two characters I've fully designed, Coda gets stuck next to him, haha!
BONUS art jumpscare:
These two actually exist in another project I'm working on too called Codex, which is basically just removing the UT aspects of Catacombtale and doing a lot more worldbuilding and character design!
Coda is older in Codex and is marked by an old God (which should get him jailed or killed, as it means for everyone else) but he hides it for years and years before he finally flees the complex he's living in to go confront the gods and stop their destructive path. Meanwhile Ichor is much the same, only he's much more ready and willing to help Coda without much prompting. Here he's also sort of a Koi Fish! (His brother is a Betta Fish)
#utmv#utmv sans#utmv oc#my art#spot!drawn#utmv art#Catacombtale#Ichor Sans#Coda#ichor#Ichor is so funny to me because his Brother (Reward) uses puzzles and then a final battle as his “Challenge” but Ichor?#his Challenge is to tell him the best Pun you know. He is the God of Puns after all!#(I think he hides his true nature as God of Punishment from the player as long as possible. saying his bro is so cool for being a major god)#Coda is a human with a lot of integrity and stubborn morals. even Determination can't escape the Gods wrath. but integrity?#Gods have a code to respect a soul who follows their own nature and still co-exists despite it just like themselves#so Coda is primed to help out.#his sister is about 7 abd she's a soul of Bravery#which means Hearth (who watches over her as a safe-space from the eyes of the other gods) has his hands full#trying to keep her from charging after Coda#Coda is so funny because he'll just walk in sonewhere and start a “Nuh-uh” contest with any given god and like... usually ends up winning???#and usually the Challenges are more gentle because he's still a young mortal. hardly a Hero. certainly not the one of prophecy#everyone figures Asgore or Undyne will kill them but uhhh. yeah. no that doesn't happen.#There's a lot of Lore here but like...#one additional thing is that in the story Coda manages to spend enough time with Ichor to obtain an item#“Sans' Protection Charm.” /Ichor gave it to you. Says to keep hold of it when facing danger. It seems like an old keepsake./#that charm is one that Ichor carved years and years ago and he only gives out charms to mortals he cares for#not only has the underground seen his rage boil (even while chained) but they have also seen his sorrow. no one wants to be the one to kill#the mortal he has deemed harmless. some fear he might have another outburst. others worry he'd fall down.#it has no real stat changes but when Coda equips it? it's like turning on Easy Mode for Godly Challenges
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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God every day I think about Akane’s breakdown in door 3 because there really is no correct way to interpret that and every possibility makes me crazy. Like she sees this fucked up corpse whom Junpei (and the player, depending on how they play) believes is their friend Snake, but she knows that it’s Guy X. It’s a man she very intentionally put in the game for this very purpose, so that he could die horrifically and be displayed for everyone to see. And she has a full mental breakdown over being trapped in this room with the corpse, being trapped by Junpei, to the point where she rips out her hair and starts bleeding from how much she bangs on the door screaming to get out. And fuck, there’s so many possibilities like
Akane could be feeling genuine terror over the sight of the body, and with that remorse. She made this happen, she wanted this to happen, and now she’s forced to quite literally watch the damage she’s caused unfold. She can detach herself from his murder easily in other timelines where she doesn’t have to look at it, and she can sleep easy knowing that her hands are technically clean because she didn’t do the literal killing. But she can’t do that here, and she has to face the fact that not only did she happily cause this death, she failed her mission. She isn’t going to survive, and now this man is dead for nothing and everything is her fault
On the other hand, her entire breakdown could be completely fabricated in order to keep playing the role of the damsel in distress who is so innocent that the very sight of blood drives her to insanity. The interesting part about this is that if she could fake such a horrific breakdown, just how much of her personality a facade? We know she wants revenge, for everyone from Cradle to feel even an ounce of the pain she and so many others went through, but we don’t get to see the extent of how much she feels this way. We never hear directly from Akane about her feelings on any of the original organizers, just her note about her desire to punish them. She hates them, but does she see their deaths as a necessary evil, or does she feel joy and satisfaction at watching them go? It’s absolutely horrifying not knowing, not being able to see her true feelings, not knowing just how real or fake she is, the extent of her madness. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that herself
IN OTHER WORDS, it’s fucked
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#the truth lies somewhere in the middle im sure#but god both possibilities are so tasty#personally i think her reaction is fake to an extent like i think she does feel at least some joy over the murders#shes doing a good deed and ridding the world of evil#but i think that this is a rare moment where she actually thinks for a minute about what shes done and how its fucked#like shes never truly present in the moment she can never fully grasp the severity of the trauma#and i kinda want to believe that this route is a bit unexpected for her#like she had to have known it was a possibility but its entire existence relies on junpei betraying the others#and i think that she was ready to write it off as a rare possibility so she didnt worry about it too much#because the only thing holding junpei back from choosing door 3 is aoi saying that picking it would require leaving people to die#and akane has nothing but her trust that junpei is good and wouldnt do something so horrible to rely on#but then it happens and she cant handle the uncertainty she wasnt ready for ANY of this to happen#not only did junpei betray the others he betrayed HER in so many ways he doesnt realize#he did what he thought was good for june but its exactly the opposite hes not only damned her#but he trapped her in a room with the disgusting corpse that she put there and everything throws her off#and she has to confront that even junpei is unpredictable and is capable of evil and that she herself has fucked up so much#she cant escape this without literally STEPPING INTO the entrails of someone she killed#and its all just too much and she completely loses it#so yeah for me its less a mental breakdown cuz she feels bad for murder#but more a breakdown because shes been betrayed and caught off guard and has a brief realization of how terrifying her actions are#those may sound the same but they arent please guys please :(#as you can see im very normal about this and good god 999 is so fucking good
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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they were doing “is madeleine a pedo for being attracted to claudia” discourse on twitter the other day and i would like it very much if twitter was just nuked as a website lol
#rani makes text posts no one will read#claudeleine#my answer is who cares#my deeper answer is madeleine knows claudia over the span of several years & seems to think she’s met & befriended a 16ish year old & by the#time things start getting more overtly romantic madeleine thinks she’s like a grown adult. this is very clearly stated in the show.#my even deeper answer is that the eroticism surrounding claudia’s body is like Part Of The Plot the fact that she has a child’s body and an#adult’s mind & what that potentially means for her romantically & sexually is a defining part of her character & the entire point of#madeleine in the narrative is to give claudia someone who desires her as she is & doesn’t want to change her is it weird perhaps that she’s#clearly attracted to a teenager but isn’t pushing that boundary at all maybe! but she refers to the nazi she fucks as a ‘scared boy’ so i do#think that a) madeleine is already quite young herself and b) madeleine much like louis armand lestat daniel etc has this sort of dark & odd#moral code that essentially means she does not give a shit that her potential lover & life companion looks like a child she’s attracted to#claudia sexually regardless And That’s What Makes Her A Good Candidate For Vampirism!!!!!!!!!#my final answer is who the fuck cares omg these characters are out here dropping each other from the stratosphere & turning their murders#into public spectacles & lynchings these are all mass murderers and you’re mad madeleine wants to fuck claudia who she thinks is like 19??#be soooooo fucjing fr with me omg i’m tired of age gap discourse and i say this as someone who has partaken in it yall don’t even know what#makes age gaps like ~problematic in relationships i hate u guys#anyways in my mind they fucked crazy nasty literally two seconds after madeleine was changed & the only reason they didn’t do it before was#cuz claudia was worried about accidentally killing her otherwise trust they would have had some floaty sex in the back of that shop!!!!!
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zeno's ultimate pokemiku tierlist ⁉️(it's all his opinion and he loves them all regardless⁉️)
#like arrfgggdiakaktmcksmsama this was literally all for me like they knew what they were doing#i love character design i love pokemon i love miku. and then you put ALL THREE TOGETHER....#i will explain some of my choices here#poison miku is just too good but also i am a big sucker for freaky scientists with constant “worry” eyebrows#her design is just so out there and crazy (this is about the shoes. some understand the greatness of the shoes and some dont. and thats ok.)#every other miku in peak i think establishes their theme exeptionally well especially ghost bug and fighting#for ghost i already love spooky and gloomy looking characters and that miku delivers tenfold (of course shes designed by the GOAT take)#esp with the mix of ghostly and electronic/digital regarding the glitchy parts n the 01 hologram#she looks like shell invade my computer and give it a virus if i dont send the chainmail about her tragic file corruption to 10 friends#(in the best way possible)#for bug miku the big dress is a huge plus but also i just think shes adorable nuff said#for fighting - i love a delinquent character and she fits that really well. the half coat thing is a big highlight for me#also the leek theme is absolutely iconic#for the ones i didnt like as much - i honestly just think the koraidon one is a leeeeetle bit boring#dont get me wrong. it has really cool aspects like the hair and the koraidon like cape but idk#it feels like theres a lot going on but not that much at the same time? its still a really nice design tho esp the hair color#for the ones in yellow tier - i just dont like the color palletes very much . theyre still really nice designs esp fire miku#but all in all these are genuinely all amazing designs and i dont want to be too critical or mean to any of them esp seeing im not a pro#but this was really fun to see unfold!!! cant wait until the songs start dropping#in the topic of miku as well - hey muse dash where's my miku on the switch version....#please dont make us wait too long 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
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