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inbabylontheywept · 8 months ago

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bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

#dating stories #anecdotes #long post #funny story #babylon #im really bad at dating #like i can do a lot better than this but also it just was kind of a nightmare for me #shit like this did make the whole thing easier tho #like #every date after this i could go you know ive seen how bad it can get #and i lived #didnt even get shot #writing

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violentdevotion · 8 months ago

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https://youtu.be/dpkZV4wX92M?si=4M4TUbrMGN5Xxpto How do u feel abt the accents in this movie🤨⁉️

YESSSSSS 'aw she's too young for a boob job' 'what are you on about they do em at birth now' perf accent. Amazing beautiful stunning accent. drop dead gorgeous is on my watch list and I never got round to it but no one told me it's set in minnesota !!!!

#avds.got.mail #h tag #omg dude i just woke up from a dream i had where my mum went to america for something and she hated it and i was all sad bc i wanted to go #to america and i was like i wanna go to new york #..... minnesota....... tennesseeee... (to see my mutuals) and i was like u know theres nothing really in minnesota for tourists but my #favourite movie is set there... (and my mutual) and in the dream she got real angry and said if we go smerica im onky allowed to go #california :(((

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glindyupland · 8 months ago

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#I think it’s weird that my roommate doesn’t like me interacting with our landlord…#like I swear I’m not stupid and I won’t embarrass you?#she like panics every time I try to even say hello to him #I’m sorry at least I didn’t hide pets from him and I actually keep his house clean and tidy #she doesn’t really clean up after herself ever… but still feel superior to me…#Glindy’s Posts #she also just saw my package come in and I told her it was a birthday gift that I got for myself #and I told her it was a vegetable chopper and she went ‘omg! I’ve been meaning to buy one! yay!! I was going to get one but this is great!’#soooo my birthday gift just turned into a gift for the house… and I’m kind of sad about that ngl #because that means it will never be clean when I need it and I can’t control if someone is too rough with it #and I know that sounds selfish but like… I bought it for myself because I don’t respect myself #and this was supposed to be a gift for more time and more ease…#but now it’s just a tool for everyone else to use and more dishes for me to clean when I didn’t dirty them #idk I know it’s really petty but I’m just so tired

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tea-writes19 · 2 months ago

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brother-in-law | b.b.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!parker!reader

summary: your brother peter tries to find you a boyfriend by posting an ad on instagram

warnings: swearing, fluff, suggestive content

a/n: my first smau + fic!!!! based on this fic by the lovely @pomegranatesarchive. fr it’s one of my fav smau’s and I don’t even follow f1😭

liked by mjjones, nedleeds, and others

peterparker: are you a young hot single in nyc? well meet y/n parker, my VERY single sister!! she enjoys cheap pizza, true crime, and long walks through central park! if you’re interested please comment down below…serious inquiries only!

view comments below

yourusername: peter wtf is this?!?

peterparker: I WANT A BROTHER! is that too much to ask for???

yourusername: NO!! JUST NO!! @/mayparker aunt may please take his phone!!

mayparker: sorry sweetie, but pete’s right. you’ve been really lonely and sad looking recently

yourusername: so the solution is to pimp me out?!?

peterparker: i will not be stopped

user1: i’m interested?

peterparker: no, too ugly

yourusername: PETER PLEASE

peterparker: i need them to at least look good in pics

mjjones: pete, y/n is going to kill you

yourusername: the bitch is hiding behind stark😡

peterparker: @/ me next time🤺

tonystark: please don’t drag me into this

user2: not bro literally selling his sister😭😭

user3: this is hilarious!

nedleeds: can you do this for me next?

peterparker: no you talk to people

user4: i’m interested!

peterparker: nah

yourusername: what’s the point if you’re just going to reject everyone?

peterparker: shhhh…let me work

yourusername: 🙄🙄

steverogers: what is happening?

peterparker: mr. america sir! are you interested?? y/n loves history! you’d be my first choice too!!

steverogers: uh no thanks…i’m too busy right now to think about dating

yourusername: not me getting rejected by CAPTAIN AMERICA in front of the world😭

user5: rip

user6: dude don’t you work with literal superheroes? ask them

user7: aren’t half of them married and in committed relationships?

user6: yeah but that still leaves the rest

user8: hey so this is insane!

user9: it’s kinda cute how much he cares about his sister

user9: weird too, but cute

peterparker: @/samwilson @/buckybarnes @/steverogers @/natasharomanoff @/joaquintorres @/mariahill @/wandamaximoff who’s interested?

mariahill: no thanks

samwilson: i’m good

steverogers: i already said no…

wandamaximoff: i’m dating vision so no

natasharomanoff: parker this is weird

joaquintorres: no thanks

yourusername: kill me now

user10: this was rough to read

user11: #savey/n from this torture

peterparker: okay, fine, i don’t care

tonystark: he cares

peterparker: on a completely different note @/buckybarnes i need help with a history essay. can you come over tomorrow?

buckybarnes: 👍

buckybarnes added to their story—>

[captain: what the fuck is a oligodendrocyte?]

story replies

steverogers: peter set you up didn’t he?

buckybarnes: he pulled the history essay thing

user12: omg is that y/n???

user13: peter’s post worked!?!

samwilson: man that kid got you good

liked by peterparker, buckybarnes, mjjones and others

yourusername: photo dump bc i graduate in a week!!!

view comments below

peterparker: no me?

yourusername: you lost post privileges after that stunt you pulled

peterparker: BUT IT WORKED OUT DIDN’T IT?!

user14: 👀👀👀

user15: who’s hand is that y/n!?!

user16: IS THAT ALPINE???

buckybarnes: the only person who can get alpine to cuddle

yourusername: i’m just chill like that😌

user17: HELLOOOO????

user18: fr like wdym peter was successful??

yourusername added to their story—>

[caption: 💐🤭]

story replies

user17: omg omg omg

user18: AHHHHHHHH

mjjones: peter is fangirling

liked by buckybarnes, mayparker, pepperpotts and others

yourusername: i graduated college!!!

view comments below

buckybarnes: congrats doll <3

yourusername: love you🫶🏻🫶🏻

user19: DOLL!?!?

user20: EVERYBODY STAY CALM IT’S HAPPENING

mayparker: so proud of you y/n!!!

yourusername: couldn’t have done it without you!!!

pepperpotts: congratulations y/n!

yourusername: thank you!!

user21: omg congrats!

user22: i feel like a proud parent rn🥹

peterparker: my favorite college grad

yourusername: bootlicker😐

peterparker: i take it back

peterparker: you’re the worst🖕

yourusername: love you too petey

tonystark: congrats kid

yourusername: thanks…now give me a job

tonystark: get better taste in men first

buckybarnes: that’s fair

steverogers: BUCKY

thank you for reading <3

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smau #marvel smau #mcu smau #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #the winter soldier #the winter solider x reader #tea ☆

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fastandcarlos · 6 months ago

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Fred’s Baby Girl : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc

summary: after being photographed looking more than comfortable, the fans soon learn that fred isn’t the only vasseur that charles is fond of…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by leclercgirl01, ferarriforthewin and 3,593 others

f1gossip: during the summer break, several photos have emerged of charles leclerc enjoying his holiday with the daughter of ferrari team principal fred vasseur. we’re uncertain if the pair were holidaying alone or with a group of friends, but either way they’re sure looking cosy 🏎️

731 comments

username1: watch them now try and convince us that they’re not dating 😂

username2: can’t wait to see fred’s reaction to this news…

username3: I did think yn was attending more races recently 🤔

username4: look at those smiles 🤩

username5: this was not on my bingo card for 2024

username6: I’m surprised how good they look together ngl

username7: can’t wait for charles to see fred after these pictures 😂

username8: I feel like fred is too soft for charles to be mad about this 🤨

username9: father fred and son charles era pending…

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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 583,018 others

ynvasseur: another lovely weekend supporting the best team in f1 and cheering on charles and carlos ❤️

31,472 comments

username10: not yn pretending that she was there for both of the boys 😂

username11: notice how it’s charles’ garage that she posts tho

landonorris: omg just give the fans what they want yn 😫

username12: yn just pretending like nothing is even happening rn

pierregasly: I refuse to believe that pr didn’t have to approve this post first with how noncommittal it is 😂

ynvasseur: @/pierregasly I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about 🤷🏻‍♀️

username13: I don’t blame you girl, who could resist charles leclerc 🔥

charles_leclerc: it was lovely to see you in the garage this weekend 🥺

username14: wonder how close of an eye fred is keeping on her this weekend 😉

scuderiaferrari: it’s always a pleasure to have you with us yn ❤️

username15: stop leaving us in suspense, we promise we’ll be happy for you!!

carlossainz55: it’s always a joy to have you there and annoy you yn 😝

ynvasseur: @/carlossainz55 you do such a good job of it too 🙃

username16: charles keeping his reply pg but he’s not convincing any of us 😂😂

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liked by charlesbbygirl, tifosi99 and 4,391 others

f1gossip: seemingly confirming their relationship, photos have been shared of charles and yn around the ferrari garage looking cosy together, not appearing to care who was around to see them, especially yn’s father fred!

519 comments

username17: how can these two people think they can convince us they’re single 😂

username18: poor carlos is officially the ferrari third wheel!

username19: that second photo makes me think he’s not seen fred yet 😂

username20: is anyone really sitting here thinking these two aren’t dating??

username21: I was at the paddock this weekend and every time I saw charles yn was right there with him too…

username22: can’t wait for boyfriend!charles to reappear once again!!

username23: they’re more than just cosy together ngl

username24: just me thinking this is sad how their privacy is getting completely invaded rn 🤯

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liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63 and 601,372 others

ynvasseur: did you really think the two of them wouldn’t still be the best of friends? oh, and congrats on the win too charles 😂❤️

58,381 comments

username25: forever my favourite principal and driver relationship 🥰

charles_leclerc: so happy you got to be there to see your first win of mine irl 💕

ynvasseur: @/charles_leclerc wouldn’t have missed it for the world 🫶🏻

username26: none of us ever thought fred would be anything other than your biggest fan ngl

pierregasly: do I now have to fight your dad too for the position of charles’ best friend???

username27: yn just confirming that fred gives them the green light like it’s no biggie ✅

georgerussell63: I never knew your dad had such a side like this in him 😂

ynvasseur: @/georgerussell63: he’s crazier than me I swear!!

username28: fred looks like such a proud dad 😭😭

carlossainz55: so glad I don’t have to listen to him moan about how scared he is to see your dad anymore 🤦🏻‍♂️

username29: where are you in all these photos we miss you with them!?

arthur_leclerc: now we’ve got fred’s approval I guess we can officially welcome you into the family 🤝

ynvasseur: @/arthur_leclerc can’t wait to meet you guys properly ❤️

username30: it’s funny to me that charles had to explain himself more to fred then any member of his actual family 😝

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 2,038,363 others

charles_leclerc: who knew fred wasn’t actually the coolest vasseur after all 😂 turns out it’s this one who makes me feel like I’m really winning at life 💞

318,059 comments

username31: these two were simply made for each other 🥹

arthur_leclerc: so you can take her on all these holidays but not bother to bring her home to meet us??

charles_leclerc: @/arthur_leclerc we’ll be there soon enough, don’t worry!

username32: I might’ve just shed a tear or two reading that caption

lewishamilton: I’m already on the back foot and not even joined the team yet now 😂

carlossainz55: and I thought it was being my teammate that made you feel like you were winning at life 💔

username33: yn must be pretty cool to be considered even cooler than her dad 😂

danielricciardo: you’ve for a girlfriend?? you should’ve mentioned it 😱

username34: they’re both equally as awesome as the other imo!!

pierregasly: does this now make you an honorary vasseur for life?

username35: it’s not fair how one person really can have it all 😭

ynvasseur: for the record I’m better than my dad at everything 😉

charles_leclerc: @/ynvasseur let’s get you behind the wheel of an f1 car and put that to the test??

ynvasseur: @/charles_leclerc I’d like to take back my original statement 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by iamrebeccad, charles_leclerc and 601,372 others

ynvasseur: let’s be honest, he never really needed to impress my dad anyway 🥹

49,473 comments

charles_leclerc: fred told me he adored me and I’m never gonna shut up about it 🥰

ynvasseur: @/charles_leclerc I’d crack a joke but I think he actually might prefer you to me 😬

username36: we all know charles is the favourite child deep down ☺️

oscarpiastri: charles does not stop talking about how amazing your dad is btw

ynvasseur: @/oscarpiastri he’s only doing that to make sure he keeps my dad on side!!

username37: the relationship these two have is the sweetest 🥹

carlossainz55: can confirm that this was definitely the case!

username38: I feel like it won’t be long before yn is actually third wheeling fred and charles instead

maxverstappen1: everyone in the paddock knows no one loves charles more than your dad 😂

username39: if I didn’t adore these two before, I definitely do now they’re together too

landonorris: you deserve a medal for putting up with him yn 😂

username40: these captions are honestly gold 🔥

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cloneboywonder · 2 years ago

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I’m so sleepy but I love talking I’m sorry here’s my car ghast btw

#omg I don’t know how we managed it but me and my mom are almost done w my costume the jacket looks so cool #cannot believe it was like a junky pullover my mom is such a genius #and my brother did in fact help me with my printer and the pieces look good but I’m too tired to paint them tonight bc um #I got home much later that anticipated #bc like I hadddddd to like cry on the phone it was so fun so I decided to go get gas so I could stay in my car longer #and like there was a woman pulled over and I asked if she was okay and I think she want understanding her gps :-(#and she was from out of state with two really really little kids and she was freaked out #so I was girl just give me the address and you can follow me #like it was 15 mins away like okay little road trip so I can talk on the phone and then I also know she’s home safe #like we are both winning here #ALL OKAY IF SOMETHING HAPPENED MY FRIEND WOULD HAVE CALLED THE COPS not worried #and it was FINE but then she missed the exit bc a big truck was in the way :-((((((( and I was so upset #I told her to leave her gps on just in case but I was so scared :-(#and then like 😭 I get so nervous I was so sad I was eliza do I just like 😭 go and make sure she gets home ??#like literally I would not have been able to calm down if I didn’t know #so I DID and she wasn’t there :-( and I turned around and I was all sad #and like as I was about to leave the complex I was like 90% sure I saw her pull in and I was like .. girl do we like .. go make sure #like I’m about to have a heart attack I’m going to make sure #and I turned around and and sure enough she was standing by one of the garages and I like 😭 I understand this is weird I’m sorry #I like put my window down and was like we’re you the one following me? and she was like yes !!!! I missed the exit :-(#and I was like ong im so sorry I was just so worried I wanted to make sure you got back safe and she was so nice #she wanted to invite me in and give me a drink but I was so tired and like literally about to run out of gas lol 💀#and I was just like omg no no it’s okay I was just worried I’m glad everyone’s home I’m going to cry I love people so much I love people #I’m so glad she was able to make it home even tho we got separated at the last second and I’m glad I waited a second and went back so I knew #okay I’m so tired I’m so glad I already called off work this week #ough I’m so excited the costumes almost done and I’m so excited I will have lydia in my house in 24 hours #um shout out to my bbg eliza for babysitting me so I didn’t get kidnapped so sorry I cried for 2 hours #I HEART PERSONAL DIARY POSTING #my posts #god I love people so much and dear god do I love personal diary posting

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afterglowsainz · 7 months ago

Text

we used to have more pt. 3 | oscar piastri, pato o’ward

part 1 part 2 part 4

pairing: oscar piastri x reader, hints at pato o’ward x reader

summary: while working at indycar, you found yourself growing closer to a certain mclaren driver, but those plans get interrupted when you have to get back home and oscar drops a bomb on you

fc: different girls from pinterest

warnings: some more inaccurate work dynamics, this is mainly text messages <3 sorry <3 i got carried away

a/n: work and school have been keeping me very busy this past few days, but i hope you’ll enjoy this part! tysm for all the support, i really really appreciate it ❤️‍🩹

—

liked by elbaoward, declanmurray and others

yourusername ain’t no love in (texas) 🤠🐎🧡

view all comments

username i’m being delusional and taking this as a sign that she’ll go to the grand prix in austin and all the f1 races after that

username we’re different because i’m taking this as a sign that she’s dating pato and she’s staying at indy

username girl is that freaking norbi? 😭

username she really thought she was slick

username not to be THAT person but everything about this post screams patricio o’ward

username ahhh i love casa rio!

milesbaldwin they say you don’t go to san antonio if you don’t go to casa rio 😋

miguelsossa great mexican food! absolutely recommend

username omg they all went TOGETHER?

username not me thinking it was just y/n and pato …

username not but honestly when is y/n not with any of them

elbaoward beautiful! 💗

yourusername elbaaa💘

username nahhh this is all the confirmation i need

liked by gfusername, landonorris and others

oscarpiastri i ❤️ split

view all comments

username ignoring that second slide

username i love that he’s in croatia!! 🥰

username so boyfriend coded

username UGH oscar give me a chance i swear we’re not gonna fall into a toxic cycle of breaking up and getting back together

username you might not be his type in that case! sorry!

username you know what you might be right 😔

username my brain can’t stop comparing this to y/n’s post ….

username no they’re both in completely different parts of the world with the wrong people!!

username they HAVE GOT to get together at some point

username no really they’re just delaying the inevitable

gfusername ❤️ (liked by oscarpiastri)

yourusername’s instagram stories

[caption 1: 🎀] [caption 2: 🍝]

liked by patriciooward, oscarpiastri and others

yourusername it’s incredibly sad to say goodbye to this place that has become my absolute favorite in the entire world. i had some of the best days of my life in these race tracks and i met the most amazing people during my time here ❤️‍🩹 i loved everything about this experience and i can’t wait to come back (hopefully very soon)🏎

view all comments

lissiemackintosh i’m gonna cry 😭

yourusername my honest reaction

davidmalukas so sad y’all are leaving 😔

yourusername we’re gonna miss you!

declanmurray specially lissiemackintosh

davidmalukas good ☺️

lissiemackintosh you’re dead declanmurray

milesbaldwin what if we just stayed? :(

miguelsossa we stayed like four more months

yourusername rebecca would fire me actually

fernandoalo_official happy to have you back soon y/n 👍🏽

yourusername i’m happy to go back! 🤍

username SHE’S COMING BACK LET’S GOOOO

username im dyingggg she’s mourning her lasts days in america and everyone in the comments is celebrating 😭

username is not everyday the people princess returns where she belongs 😩

—

taglist; @heavy-vettel @a-beaverhausen @astroniii @chunkpiboli @theonottsbxtch @eclecticcreatorweaselsalad @charli123456789 @stopeatread @coriyaps @nina-or-anna-or-nora @ninasw0rld @loveelylani @marauders-wife @dramallama9 @mxdi0 @piastrigate @ladyoflynx @prudyhoo @idkwtdwml123 @southernbaguette @ellelabelle @emryb @fastfactory @comicalivy @seasonswinter @no-144444 @lunamelona @saachiep81 @nataliambc @patis643 @softtina @chemiru @obxstiles @eiaaasamantha @youre-on-your-ownkid @wcnorris @hwalllllllelujah @soleilgrec

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hauntingblue · 1 month ago

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Oh my god why........ why would someone do this omg.... feminism would have saved them all... lesbianism too...

#the song about infidelity reira was so sure wasn't about infidelity akdnksnsks now everyone thinks takumi is cheating akdnskns #but its the same thing with nana and yasu in the end... ren would understand... but nana doesn't qkdjksk ...so hachi didnt answer nobu.....#FIREWORKS BY THE RIVER??? NOBUUUUUUUUUUU OH MY GOOOD PLEASE!!! nana is reading shin's ero novel 😭😭 THANK YOU SHIN!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH 😭😭#so nana is getting married... and also starts talking like hachi... after she noticed nobu doing the same thing... also reira with takumi..#“i had enough money to take care of hachi and her baby” OH MY GOD PLEASEEEEE PLEASEEEE 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 tears in my eyes already #shin is so me... he was so excited for nobu to try to get hachi... PLEASEEE damn i hope hachi is sad as fuck i hope she had a horrible day #fourteen weeks.... three and a half months... FUCK!!! DONT NAME HER SACHIKO WHAT THE HELL!! BECAUSE OF TAKUMI???!! KILL HIM!!! BACK ON MY BS #REIRA KILL HIM!!!! omg shoji... serial cheater... but that was kinda cute.... remember when shoji cheating felt like an apocalypse... yeah #nobu looks like shoji 😭😭😭 girl the flashbacks youre gonna give her 😭😭 shin as misato... my otp truly if there was no evil in the world #OH WAIT THE LONG HAIR LIKE NANA WISHED FOR A BF FOR HACHI AKDJAKSK YES HES TONNA GET HER BACK!!! I BELIEVEEEEEEEEE I BELIEVEEEEE #THATS IT????? NO REUNION YET??? THE TEASER?? THEY END UP REUNITING AGAIN?? THATS HACHIS CHILD!! WITH BLACK HAIR LIKE NANA!!#where tf is nana... what sorrow... do not fuck with me rn... hachi wearing the wedding ring still... this can't be.... nobu id you dont have #and affair with this married woman... i swear to god.... HE HAS MONEY NOW!!! COME ON!! FUKCING SHOJIIIIIIII NOOOO GET YOUR PUSSY UP HACHI!!#OOOOOH SHE SAID FUCK NOBU IM GETTING BACK HACHI... that “i really want to see you. hurry up” that was criminal 😳 im normal about it #OH NANA CAME OUT SWINGING!! THAT WIG LIKE THE GREEN GOBLIN MASK!! CHRIST SHES GONNA GET HACHI BACK ONE EAY OR ANOTHER #shin telling thag to yasu... like he wouldn't know... christ please don't pull them apart (nobu and nana) that's so fucking sad man...#nobu went to tokyo to her... to play for her.... my god.... NOBU PLEASEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOP GET UUUUUUUP NOOOOO #WHAT DO YOU MEAN OKAY YOU WILL HACHI??? YOURE JUST GONNA ACCEPT TAKUMI CHEATING??? NANA CRASH THAT FUCKING WEDDING I SWEAR TO GOD!#she wanted to hold nanas hand like nobus 😭😭 but didnt bc she thinks she would think shes selfish?? FOR WHAT??? DOING WHAT BOTH WANT???#MY GOD!!!!! ENOUGH!!!! THE SONG I LIKE!!! ENOUGH!! WHERE IS SHE????#well i havent cried.... it broke my soul and spirit but i havent cried. thats something at least right. oh my god.#nana looking at the wedding ring... there is no fucking way man what the hell. heteronormativity is a prison #there must be some good good ending fanfics at least right....#well the answer is they have all changed and noticed that they did not need what they wanted as it wont make them happy #so now hachi has her house and nana has her rockstar title but nobody fucking wanted it like this.... christ...#i was like oh nana got la la landed already?? and she got la la landed again but worse. also hachi too. alright. whatever #how am i supposed to sleep now. what the hell and i can't even cry im just baffled by everything. christ #god please bring my family back together.... god please.....#why isn't nana there why is nobu why can't he still take the step forward omg.... HE HAS MONEY HE CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU BOTH!! NANA CAN!!!!#watching nana

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checkeredflagggs · 3 days ago

Text

A Bet is a Bet

pairing: lando norris x reader

summary: Lando didn’t know a bet would lead him to her, y/n didn’t know that accepting his proposal would lead to forever

a/n:it’s always fun to write Lando because I kinda really like to gently bully him 😂

a/n: one day I’ll write a Lando piece that doesn’t absolutely get away from me but today is apparently not that day

Masterlist | Taglist

f1gossip

liked by user, user, user, and 827,824 others

f1gossip: Following Max’s Championship win and George’s race win, several drivers were spotted out partying in Las Vegas’ prolific club scene! Additionally, eagle eyes have spotted a despondent Lando drinking as his championship hopes were dashed tonight.

view all comments

user1: not the gossip page absolutely dragging Lando 😬😬😬

user2: don’t really blame Lando for being a little sad — unlikely as it was he’d win, there was a slight chance

↳user3: especially with how god awful redbull’s car has been this year…

user4: loving the contrast of George and Max drinking their hearts out to celebrate and Lando drinking to forget

↳user5: that’s so cruel

↳user4: true though

user6: ok so i think im at the same club as them and im pretty sure i just saw lando hugging a crying women??

↳user7: what??

↳user6: idk man im just a casual fan (shout out to Charles for being so pretty — saw an edit of him and fell in love)

↳user6: but i saw someone who looked like lando? Comforting someone who was sobbing their heart out

↳user7: I’m so confused and I need to know what happens next

user8: 🤬🤬 fuck

↳user9: what??

↳user8: I just got pushed down by a couple rushing by me!

↳user10: well fuck them I guess?

↳user8: I think that’s what they’re gonna do, yes.

Private Messages, Max F. and Lando

Snapchat

Private Messages, Lando and ???

landonorris has posted a story, yn_user has posted a story

[🍾🍾][💍💍]

maxfewtrell replied WHAT ARE YOU DOING

maxfewtrell replied I SPECIFICALLY SAID DONT GET ACTUALLY MARRIED

maxfewtrell replied OH MY GOD ANSWER YOUR STUPID PHONE

user11 replied did you get married

user12 replied the Vegas curse strikes again!

oscarpiastri replied please tell me this is just an aesthetic photo

↳oscarpiastri please I can’t be responsible for reporting this back to Zak and Stella

alex_albon replied oh my god thanks man! I had money on you being the one to get drunk married in Vegas

yourbff replied what the fuck girl??

yourbff replied did you get married last night?

↳yn_user …I think I did

↳yn_user my god my head

↳yourbff drinks! Stat

↳yn_user only if drinks stands for coffee

↳yn_user and make it a double — my husband (???)(!!!) wants one too

Private Messages, Max F. and Lando

landonorris

liked by yn_user, yourbff, maxfewtrell, maxverstappen1, and 1,234,224 others

landonorris: thanks Vegas! This year was so much more fun than last year! Can’t wait to see what next year brings

view all comments

user13: MARRIED??

user14: omg god he’s actually married 😭😭

user15: what kind of delulu manifesting brought this on???

↳user16: right?? I need some of it in my life

↳user17: a big old healthy dose of it

maxfewtrell: Next year better be the calmest year yet

↳yn_user: where’s the fun in that? liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1

↳maxfewtrell: my heart rate would appreciate it more

maxverstappen1: well I guess congratulations are in order?

↳landonorris: thanks man!

georgerussell63: You got married??

↳landonorris: I did! She’s great — you’re gonna love her

↳georgerussell63: Really?

↳maxfewtrell: she spent the first 10 minutes (hungover) after meeting me bullying me about my accent, my clothing, the way I walked, and how I took my coffee liked by yn_user, landonorris

↳georgerussell63: Oh dear

↳maxverstappen1: oh I’m gonna love her. she coming to Qatar?

↳landonorris: that’s the plan!

↳maxverstappen1: fly out with me

cisca_norris: oh man I’m telling mom!

↳landonorris: No! Wait!

↳cisca_norris: too late!

Private Messages, Lando and his Parents

Private Messages, y/n and yourbff

yn_user

liked by landonorris, yourbff, oscarpiastri, and 1,253 others

tagged: landonorris

yn_user: got drunk, got married, flew to Qatar to watch him drive!

view all comments

yourbff: send me some of that luck please

↳yn_user: certainly!

↳yourbff: only the good stuff though — you keep your bad luck to yourself

landonorris: thanks for coming out to see that I’m more than an uber driver

↳maxfewtrell: she did not

↳yn_user: oh I absolutely did! But now I see it’s more like European NASCAR

↳landonorris: I’ve changed my mind. Please leave

↳yn_user: too late! I’ve already burned the certificate — no returns

oscarpiastri: nice to meet you 👍🏻

↳yn_user: you too! I’m rooting for you!

↳landonorris: what???

↳yn_user: you told me to pick a favorite driver!

↳landonorris: I told you to come watch your favorite driver! Me!

↳yn_user: but he’s Australian! Like Steve Irwin!

↳landonorris: …that’s not how you pick a favorite driver!

↳oscarpiastri: stop being mean to my fans!

↳yn_user: landonorris if you say so I guess…

↳yn_user: then I’ll pick max cause he’s got lovely cats and was kind enough to fly us out!

↳maxverstappen1: great to have another fan!

↳landonorris: nO!

user18: I’ve had her for a day but if anything happens to her I’ll everyone else then myself

↳user20: big mood

↳yn_user: I say this with sincerity — please seek help 🙏

f1gossip

liked by user, user, user, and 628,826 others

f1gossip: we finally have some answers on Lando’s unexpected marriage!

“What does it mean? What? That we got married last weekend? Well it means we got drunk and got married but ya know during break, yeah during break we’re already planning getting divorced but just didn’t have the time beforehand. So that’s something that’s gonna be happening soon.”

So it seems like this is just a typical Vegas marriage story after all!

view all comments

user21: im sorry but thats so funny??

↳user22: right?

↳user23: i didn’t think this was something that happened in real life??

↳user24: same

user25: i love how he phrased it though

↳user26: it’s just…Lando. Like of course you got drunk married and is just joking about it now

↳user27: I mean there's not much else he can do until they can get divorced?

yn_user

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 214,294 others

tagged: landonorris

yn_user: what a fun way to end the year! Congrats hubby — what a win!

view all comments

user28: I swear she was more excited for Lando’s win then he was 😂

↳user29: the way she was clinging to Lando’s mom like the entire race though 🤣🤣

landonorris: thanks for coming! And cheering for the correct driver this time around

↳maxverstappen1: she didn’t have redbull merch on?

↳landonorris: nah that’s been banned from this household liked by yn_user

user30: ok but I need her makeup brands? Cause that shit didn’t budge a bit

↳yn_user: I’ll dm you!

↳user30: thank you queen 🙏

yourbff: glad to know you’re having fun when you abandoned me…

↳yn_user: dw we’re on the way back so we can start the divorce paperwork

↳yourbff: good i need my bff back

↳landonorris: still my girl!

↳yourbff: I’ll fight you for her 🥊

Private Messages, Max and Lando

Text — we decided that we wanted to stay married because we actually like each other and want to see where this goes

landonorris

liked by yn_user, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 1,283,123 others

tagged: yn_user

landonorris: honeymoon time!

view all comments

user31: i thought it was divorce time?

↳user32: ok but like what happened?

↳user31: im guessing they actually fell in love

↳user32: if that’s true, that’s so cute

oscarpiastri: I don’t think that was the plan?

↳landonorris: there’s no plans when your in love

↳yn_user: that’s so sappy

↳landonorris: only for you!

↳oscarpiastri: on my comment thread? Really?

user33: ok which one of us is gonna turn this into the romcom it desperately needs to be?

↳user34: I volunteer as tribute

maxfewtrell: Lando answer your phone!

↳landonorris: sorry I’m on vacation! No service!

↳maxfewtrell: Lando! liked by yn_user

yourbff: stop stealing my best friend!

↳landonorris: she’s my wife!

↳yourbff: she was mine first!

f1gossip

liked by user, user, user and 839,293 others

f1gossip: catching up with lando again, we got the gossip on the abrupt change of heart regarding his Vegas wife!

“Yeah we just, you know we talked about it and how we felt and we know it’s kinda crazy — actually really crazy but you know we just felt like this was it? Like I just know that loving her is gonna be the easiest thing I’m ever gonna do. So yeah we got to Vegas and got a lawyer to help start the divorce and as we were talking about it we realized that we didn’t actually want to separate. So we’re still together and I want it to stay that way, forever. Like she’s gonna be it for me.”

view all comments

user35: holy shit he is in LOVE love

user36: “I just know loving her is gonna be the easiest thing I’ve ever done” like could someone run me over? Cause I feel like that would hurt less

↳user37: that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever read!

↳user38: I’m loving this Lando — he’s glowing!

user39: “we’re still together and I want it to stay that way, forever” like oh my god he’s so in love he’s writing poetry

user40: I want this kind of fucking love

user41: he’s writing poetry for her and i can’t even get one to text me back 😭

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yn_user, mclaren and 1,728,234 others

tagged: yn_user

landonorris: the top step is made even better with my lucky charm here with me! Thank you yn_user for your love and support 🧡

comments have been limited on this post

yourbff: now you’re just mocking me

↳landonorris: yup!

yn_user: love you too you muppet…even if you aren’t an uber driver…

↳landonorris: I guess that’s better than a nascar driver…

↳yn_user: well I checked and Chris Bell is taken so…

↳landonorris: 😑😑😑

maxfewtrell: great race man!

↳landonorris: thanks for being there!

↳maxfewtrell: gladly! I’ll be there for any of them but Vegas. Cause I’m not going there again

↳yn_user: scared of a little city?

↳maxfewtrell: yes.

Taglist

@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby @freyathehuntress @angelluv16 @nichmeddar @mxm47max @justaf1girl @a-beaverhausen @tallrock35 @elizamoe133 @jessica3478 @il0vereadingstuff @taylorrrrrrrrrrswiftttt @widow-cevans @1-of-my-many-obsessions @charlesgirl16 @anunstablefangirl @evie-119 @sugarfreerbr @princessesgarden @tukes @mayax2o07 @teti-menchon0604 @galaxygurlll @star73807-blog @shelbyteller @ihaveitprinteddout @lilymaleshka @kuolonsyoja @allthings-fandom @mountainshuman @hannahmotors10 @moonypixel @nikfigueiredo @daisydaze111 @deephideoutmilkshake @loveyahachoo @raizelchrysanderoctavius

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