#THIS IS SO SAD

[greyishbach]

it's the bad idea to read this in the middle of my shift

anchor

jude bellingham x black reader

summary : jude calls his ex in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep

warning : angst

wc : 860

2:00 a.m.

Jude lay in his bed, restless, unable to escape his thoughts. Outside, the rain pounded on his window, matching the storm in his mind. Each thought was lost in shadow, silence, and fear. Sleepless nights had become commonplace for him. He couldn’t close his eyes, even for a second, knowing he’d have the same nightmare again. But it wasn’t just a dream. It was more than that, it slowly became his reality. Whether Jude was sleeping or awake, there was no escape from his nightmares. They were chasing him day and night, without leaving him a second to breathe. They were consuming all his energy.

Jude sat on his bed while a tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it and faced the empty side of his bed. Four months had passed since his ex broke up with him. Her scent had faded from the pillow, a painful reminder of her absence. She didn’t need him in her life and had found happiness somewhere else, far from the cameras, the rumours, the lies and the empty promises. She was happier than ever, but with another man.

“I’m sorry.” Jude whispered, but his words caught in his throat. “I’m so sorry, Enya. Why did I do that? I’m such an idiot.”

His eyes lingered on his bedside table, where he reached for his phone with his trembling hand. He scrolled through his messages. The most recent ones were from his brother, his teammates, and his friends, all asking if he was doing well. He didn't even know how he was feeling, so he kept scrolling because he didn’t know what to answer.

Despite the joyful persona he showed the world, the young man died a little each day. The facade he created to protect himself was slowly crumbling as the guilt gnawed at him inside. The fatigue was only catching up to him, and his injured shoulder didn’t do his performances any favours.

Jude opened his messages with Enya. His heart clenched as he read their last conversation before everything fell apart. He typed the words he wished he had said to her back then, although he doubted she would read them. She had moved on and left him behind, lost in the memories of what they once shared.

“I’m sorry for everything I did. You deserve someone who will treat you right, and I failed to do it. I regret everything.”

“I still love you and I miss you, Enya.” Jude whispered and brought the phone to his ear, feeling a lump in his stomach and a dry throat. He knew better, but didn’t care. Was he being selfish? Yes, but the temptation was too strong. He needed to hear her voice, even if it was from her voicemail.

“What if she changed her number? I’ll look stupid if that’s the case. Maybe I should…” Right before he could change his mind, he heard Enya’s tired voice.

“Hello?” Jude froze. He couldn’t believe she answered.

“Hello?” Enya asked again, but this time, the irritation in her voice became apparent. Jude opened his mouth, but no words came out. A storm of emotions rose within him.

“Hi.” He finally said in a barely audible voice.

“Jude? Why are you calling me this late?” Her irritation was growing with each passing second, but Jude couldn’t blame her. Enya had every reason to resent him. “We haven’t talked in four months, and you’re suddenly calling me in the middle of the night. What’s wrong with you?”

The Englishman remained silent. He couldn’t let her know the truth. He didn’t want Enya to know how lost and miserable he was without her. He didn’t want her to know that he spent his days thinking about her, wishing he could go back and undo everything.

“Cat got your tongue?” Enya sighed. She wanted to hang up, sensing that she was wasting time, but a part of her couldn’t bring herself to do it. She still wanted to hear his voice, to know what he had to say, even though it wouldn’t lead to anything.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up. I was reading our old conversation and felt like I should reach out to you. I saw your pictures with your boyfriend. You look good together. Congratulations.” Jude tried to keep his voice steady, but it didn’t seem to work. Enya could hear his pain. The young man felt the tears well up and let them flow silently.

“Jude? Are you crying?” Enya asked softly.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have called you, goodnight, Enya.” He wiped his tears before ending the call.

2:45 a.m.

Jude stared at the ceiling, feeling emptier than ever. “It was a bad idea.” He mumbled as he reached for his phone again. His eyes widened when he saw the message Enya sent him, and his face broke into a smile, despite his efforts to suppress it.

“In case you’re wondering, I’m not with him anymore.” He wanted to answer, but exhaustion had taken over his body. Jude closed his eyes, and for the first time in four months, he didn’t have nightmares.

[mirrorball-leclerc]

no one is in greater mourning than jenson button. trust me.

[inthiskingdomwewillendure]

Favorite Aragorn moments in Fellowship of the Ring voted by my tumblr poll

Nr. 3: Boromirs Departure 4k

[azulmagpie]

Aw hell nah they turned Hange into a witch 🗣️🗣️ (happy Halloween!!)

[ab-meri-jeene-ki-tammana-nahi]

Do you'll realise that the moumita case is vanished from the media and public? No like the whole case, tragedy seem to vanish literally, no one is talking about it NO ONE. IT IS LIKE AS IF A TREND CAME AND GONE...dude tf is wrong?no one is talking,media,newspapers,public no one. Was it all a drama? That sympathy? Parade? But to be honest I'm not surprised.After all, we're living in fastest developing country. Aren't we?

[huyandere]

apollo goes to Khura'in klapollo week day 6: long distance

[fairuzfan]

[diamonddragon2003]

I'm just playing around some art style.

Have Doey! I wanna draw the piano dinosaur, but I don't have enough time.

[smugsomeone]

We were so close to getting him in tf1..,,.

[winter-rossie]

POV: You realise how the first time Patroclus saw Achilles, his father, his own father tells him “That’s how a son should be.”

How years later, Patroclus dies on the battlefield in the same boy’s name and armor, making two entire fucking armies belive he’s Achilles?

[royalarchivist]

This is the saddest thing I've ever seen, poor Mariana (and JuanaFlippa) can NOT catch a break.

[tentacle-therapissed]

Why is Billford evil Cecilos

[just-a-fun]

ok. I'm going crazy on this.

Callum's father died of lung disease, right?

Callum's first spell is aspiro. ASPIRO. A SPELL IN WHICH HE BREATHES THE AIR AND THEN BLOWS IT AWAY.

[rvspecter]

[demigods-posts]

it just dawned on me that annabeth probably has repressed memories. think about it. the only thing she really remembers about her childhood is being and feeling neglected and insignificant at home. then running away at seven. and she has vague memories with luke and thalia. but once she watched thalia die. the next couple years are a blur. maybe the most consistent and prominent thing her brain lets her remember are her moments with luke bc those were the good ones. and that's why she's so adamant on justifying his mistakes throughout the first series. bc he is the only proof she has of something of an identity. who is she without him?

[robotclownindulgence]