#she feels broken and she knows other people see her that way

[cressidagrey]

It's a Love Story - Chapter 5

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

“Where’s Az?” Mor asked as Nesta and Cassian entered the dining room at the River House.

“Busy,” Cassian said with a shrug, as he pulled out the chair for his mate, greeting the rest of their family with a smile. 

Mor cocked her head, a small frown appearing on her face. "Busy?" she repeated, a note of curiosity in her voice. "What's he up to?"

Busy. That had been Azriel’s answer to nearly everything after Koshei. Busy.

Even quieter than usual. Keeping away from all of them…and Cassian still heard that one sentence echo in his head. Better me than you. Like somehow Cassians life was worth more than Azriel’s.

Azriel was just being noble and self-sacrificing as usual, right? Cassian knew that his brother didn't really think that way, didn't really believe that his life was worth less than anyone else's. But still, the words haunted him. He couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, somewhere, he had let Azriel down. That he hadn't been there when his brother had needed him the most.

Maybe he should have tried to talk to him...when it all went down… but then he hadn't realised what exactly was even going on, until Nesta had flatly laid it out for him one evening. Azriel had gotten over Mor only to fall in love with Elain...and that hadn't ended in his favour either.

Cassian grimaced just thinking about it. Azriel deserved to be happy. Azriel deserved a mate that loved him, a female that fucking adored him…and instead his brother had fallen not just for one, but two unavailable females. 

And Azriel hadn’t complained. Not once. He had never let it show.

He always kept his emotions hidden under that stoic mask of his, like he was afraid of letting anyone see how much he was hurting. Cassian knew that Azriel would never ask for help, that he would never admit that he needed someone to talk to. But that didn't mean that he didn't need it. 

Cassian just wished that he could find a way to get Azriel to open up, to let him in…that wouldn’t involve beating him to a bloody pulp. 

Azriel acted like everything was fine. Azriel acted like he didn't care. Cassian knew that it was a mask, knew that it wasn't the truth...but Azriel liked to pretend it was...and maybe it was better to let him pretend. 

It wasn't like he was hurting anybody with it, right? He was doing his work just as well as he always did...and if he wanted to spend his free time reading Sellyn Drake books, maybe they should just let him do that…maybe it made him feel better. 

"Maybe he's seeing his secret girlfriend," Cassian drawled.

Mor snorted at that suggestion. "Please," she said with a roll of her eyes. "As if Azriel would ever have time for a girlfriend, let alone a secret one."

"You would be surprised," Cassian muttered under his breath. Apparently Azriel had time for reading Sellyn Drake novels while locked into his room, after all. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mor wondered. "He has been...distant lately," she said with a pout.

Cassian could only stare at her. Mor couldn't be serious right now, could she?

Of course, Azriel was distant to her. Mor had fucking broken his heart and trampled on it to top it off. And Cassian had helped her with through the years. He probably owed Azriel an apology for that as well.

And still, Azriel hadn’t complained. Azriel hadn’t called them out. Azriel had taken it silently. Had even congratulated Mor when her Mating Bond with Emerie had snapped. Had been painfully polite, making painfully sure that he didn’t cross any lines, didn’t make Emerie uncomfortable in any way. 

"Just leave him be," Cassian said with a shrug. "He's reading Sellyn Drake novels, he'll be fine,” he waved her off. 

Rhys nearly spit his wine over the table and instead started coughing violently. "Azriel is reading Sellyn Drake novels?!" he asked Cassian with an incredious stare.

"Apparently he has trust in Nesta's taste of literature," Cassian answered easily.

Mor raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Sellyn Drake novels?" she repeated, eyeing Cassian like he had gone mad. "Since when does Azriel read those kinds of books? He's not exactly the...romantic type."

Or maybe there just never had been a single person that had appreciated that side of his brother. Who knew what Azriel actually was into. 

Elain and Mor weren’t similar in the slightest after all. 

Cassian shrugged. "Maybe he's expanding his horizons," he said with a grin. "Or maybe he just wants to see what the fuss is all about. After all, Sellyn Drake is...surprisingly good. Or so I've heard, anyway." He gave a sidelong glance to Nesta, who simply rolled her eyes at him.

Still, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rhys play absentmindedly with the stem of the wine glass. There was something there...between Rhys and Azriel that Cassian couldn't quite put his finger on. Some kind of tension...some kind of...something.

But lately, it had seemed like that tension had only been getting worse. Like they were both holding something back, like they were both waiting for the other shoe to drop. Cassian couldn't help wondering what would happen when that tension finally snapped.

***

"Winnowing or flying?" Azriel asked Sky as they stepped out into the icy early winter air.

"I...I can't...fly?" Sky answered haltingly, looking at him with these devastating blue eyes. They were beautiful. Not a light blue, not a teal, not bordering on violet…just beautiful near cobalt blue. She probably would match his siphons, he reflected weakly. 

"I'll fly, I'll carry you," he gave back with a chuckle. She stared at him like he was insane, her cheeks reddening.

"I...I...you...can...can't carry me. I am too...heavy," she mumbled. Now it was his turn to stare at her.

Azriel couldn't help but scoff at that. "Too heavy?" he repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm an Illyrian warrior,” he told her drily. “I could carry a full-grown male into battle if I had to,and I have dragged full-grown males off the battlefield…I can carry you.” 

Azriel couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Was she...was she seriously trying to tell him that she was too heavy for him to carry? She just so reached the middle of his chest! She definitely wasn't thin...her body was covered with soft flesh and lush curves, every inch of it soft and inviting...but even if she weighed twice her weight, he would easily be able to carry her. She would probably weigh next to nothing to him.

And yet, he could sense the insecurity in her voice, the way she didn't quite believe that he could carry her.

He stepped closer to her, placing his hand gently under her chin and tilting her head up so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "You are beautiful," he said softly, his voice full of warmth and sincerity. "And I don't care how much you weigh, I can carry you. I want to carry you. Because you are mine and I will always protect you, no matter what."

Her breath hitched at that, and he could see the warmth spreading through her cheeks as her heart began to race. She looked up at him with those stunning blue eyes of hers, her lips parted slightly in surprise and wonder. "You...you really mean that?" she whispered, her voice soft and shaky. "You...you don't mind how big I am?"

Azriel chuckled softly, shaking his head. "No, sweetheart, I don't mind," he said gently. "I think you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. And if I have to carry you to prove it, then that is what I will do." And without another word, he scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest as easily.

She squeaked as they shot up in the sky and then she laughed, the sound bright and beautiful

They soared through the sky together, the wind blowing through their hair and clothes as they flew. The City of Starlight sprawled out beneath them, a beautiful tapestry of color and light. Azriel held her close, feeling the warmth of her body against his, the sound of her heartbeat pulsing in rhythm with his own. He knew that he could never tire of this feeling, of having her in his arms like this.

Sky looked up at him with a smile, her eyes shining with happiness and excitement. "I love this," she breathed.

How very fitting it was for the female that called herself Sky to love flying.

"Good," Azriel said softly, his voice full of warmth. "Because we can do this anytime you want, sweetheart."

They soared higher and higher, until the city below them was nothing but a sparkling sea of lights. Azriel was in his element up here, his wings powerful and graceful as they sliced through the air. He could feel the wind whipping through his hair, the cold night air stinging his skin. But he didn't mind, not with her in his arms. In fact, he felt more alive than he had in months. Years, even.

He flew a loping circle over Velaris, towards the Lake House the shadows had purchased and he thanked them mentally for their foresight. He couldn't very well bring Sky home to the House of Wind...but here...he could take her. It was private and safe...and if the expression of her face was anything to go by, she loved it.

He angled his body towards the Lake House, gliding towards it with expert precision. As they approached, Azriel saw the soft glow of the lights in the windows, the gentle sway of the curtains in the breeze. The lake glittered in the moonlight, the surface of the water undisturbed and serene. It was the perfect place to bring her, a place that he felt she would love just as much as he did.

"You live here?" she wondered, wonder in her voice as she took in the sight.

Azriel felt a warm swell of pride in his chest as he landed smoothly on the deck of the house. "Yes," he said simply, his eyes fixed on her face, watching as she marveled at the house. "I wanted a private place," he admitted. "Somewhere quiet and peaceful, where I could escape from the chaos of my life for a little while.I haven't been there long though, it’s still a work in progress…" he warned her. More like 2 hours before he had met her. "But I love it."

He set her down gently, his hands lingering on her waist for a moment before he stepped back. "Come on," he said softly, holding out his hand to her. "Let me show you inside."

The shadows skittered inside as soon as he opened the door, like a bunch of little busybodies, rightening the curtains there, fluffing pillows on the couch...It seemed to amuse Sky though. "You must ne...never have to deal with a mes...messy kitchen," she teased him

Azriel chuckled at that. "No, the shadows don't like when things are out of place,”  he admitted.

It wasn't a lie. But then he didn't like it either. 

Like a moth pulled to the flame, Sky was pulled towards his bookcases, fingertips tripping over the spines as she hungrily read the titles.

Azriel suddenly hoped that the shadows had put something other than Sellyn Drake novels in the bookcase, because otherwise he was going to look like a fucking stalker.

He watched with a mix of amusement and apprehension as she examined the bookshelves, his heart pounding in his chest. *Please,* he silently pleaded to the shadows, *please tell me you didn't leave those Sellyn Drake novels on the shelf.* Because if she saw those, it would be disastrous.

The shadows seemed weirdly frozen in place.

"You read Sel...Sellyn Drake?" Sky asked him, sounding delighted and shocked at the same time.

Azriel groaned inwardly, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. "I...yes, I do," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I...There is...I...I need to tell you something."

"Te...Tell me som...something?" Sky asked, turning towards him, these big beautiful eyes staring at him.

"I...It wasn't a coincidence that I was in that bar tonight," he told her, watching as she stared at him. "The shadows told me to go."

"The...The shad...shadows?" she asked him, looking utterly shocked.

"I...I told them...a few weeks ago...to...find me somebody that....that I could love...somebody that I could make happy. A wife," Azriel admitted. "You were the one they picked."

She stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly. Azriel braced himself for her reaction, not sure what to expect. Would she be angry? Scandalized? Horrified that he had sent his shadows to find him a wife?

She stared at him wide-eyed. "You...You as…asked yo…your sha..shadows to fi…find you a wi…wife?!" she asked him, repeating his words back at him.

He could feel his cheeks reddening but nodded nonetheless. "...are you angry?" he asked her weakly.

Sky stared at him for a moment, but then she shook her head. "No, No...no, I'm not," she repeated again, her voice trembling slightly. "I'm...I'm flat…flattered, actually...Though...though I am cu..curious what it…what it was about me that...made…made them pick me," she admitted.

For the first time in his life, his shadows talked to somebody other than Azriel. *We thought you would treat Master like you treat your cat,* the shadows told her brightly.

She blinked at the bunch of shadows that had gathered in front of her.

"You...You...You want me to...treat Az..Azriel like...like a cat?" she asked them incrediously.

Azriel spluttered, his cheeks burning with mortification. He hadn't expected the shadows to be so blunt, and the idea of her treating him like a cat was...well, it was absurd, to say the least. He wanted her to be his mate, his equal, not to treat him as if he were some kind of pet.

"No, no," he quickly interjected, trying to salvage the situation. "They...they don't mean it like that, Sky. The shadows have their own...unique way of looking at things. Please just...just forget they ever said that."

Sky fixed him with a look. "What do you mean?" she asked the shadows.

*You love your cat,* the shadows said quickly. *You buy him ridiculous overpriced Tuna, and you let him sleep in your bed and you scratch him behind the ears. You even knitted him a sweater!*

Azriel winced, feeling his embarrassment and mortification rising even further. 

"That...thats not important," he mumbled, feeling like he was on the verge of spontaneously combusting from embarrassment. "The shadows...they have a habit of exaggerating things. Just...please, don't take them too seriously. I'm not expecting you to treat me like a cat, I swear."

Sky looked at him, then at the Shadows, then at Azriel again. She seemed to be lost in thought, clearly trying to decipher what the shadows meant.

"You..You want your mas…master to be tre…treated...well?" Sky finally asked the shadows, her tone of voice serious. "You pick…picked me because I...be..because I was nice to my cat?" she asked them curiously.

*You are so kind,* the shadows said softly. And so pretty. And we knew you would treat Master well and wouldn't judge him.*

Sky blushed at the compliment.

Azriel felt a sense of relief wash over him as the conversation shifted away from the whole "cat" thing. He had to admit, the shadows were right. Sky had been nothing but kind and considerate towards him since they met, and he was grateful for that. Still, he couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed by the whole situation.

"Look...I apologize for the shadows' behavior," he said to Sky, his voice soft. "They can be a bit...blunt, sometimes."

"I…I un…understand where they are com…coming from," she said nearly thoughtfully. "They just...want to see you hap…happy?" she said carefully and he nodded.

"Yes."

"Though they…they don't seem to have much of a sense of boun…boundaries," Sky said with a laugh. "You hid in my apartment didn't you?" she asked the shadows.

Azriel cringed as the shadows seemed to twirl in agreement. He had hoped that particular detail would have gone unnoticed, but he should have known better. Sky was too observant for her own good.

"Yes, they did," he admitted reluctantly. "I'm sorry about that. They...they have a tendency to go where they please."

Sky still mustered the shadows that were twitching in front of her

"I…I prom…promise to t…treat your ma…master well." Sky said seriously. "He's my mate."

Azriel felt his heart skip a beat at her words. The sound of that word coming from her lips made his knees weak.

He stepped forward, closing the distance between them and taking her hands in his. "And I promise to treat you well too," he swore fervently. 

"And I'll…I’ll even knit him a swea…sweater," Sky continued, looking at the shadows.. "I…I don't know if he likes Tu…tuna, but I'll…buy him some… sweets."

He couldn’t help but laugh at her words, feeling a surge of affection for her that was almost overwhelming. "Sky," he said softly, looking into her eyes. "You don't have to do any of that for me. Just being with you is more than I could ever ask for.But...if you are willing to knit me a sweater, I surely won't say no to it," he added with a laugh. "And maybe you could try scratching me behind the ears too, just in case the shadows are right."

He meant it as a joke, but there was a part of him that was secretly delighted by the idea of her spoiling and doting on him. Maybe, just maybe, the shadows were onto something after all.

"And...who knows, maybe I'll develop a taste for Tuna," he added, grinning playfully. "As long as it's the fancy kind, that is."

He kissed her forehead gently, holding her close for a moment longer before finally pulling away. "But Sky…you don’t have to do all of that…Just being with you is enough."

She smiled up at him, beautiful and blinding and he couldn't help but kiss her.

As his lips met hers, Azriel felt a wave of warmth and tenderness wash over him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he deepened the kiss. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the shadows, not the world outside, nothing but her.

He broke the kiss reluctantly, resting his forehead against hers as he caught his breath. 

"You…You can absolutely sleep in my bed with me," she whispered. "Or I'll sleep in yours," she offered, a grin on her face... and that was all he needed to hear, as he picked her up again.

[arc-misadventures]

The Queen's Offering

A quill, and ink pot lay before him.

Paper, and a cup of wine rested upon the desk.

And, an head rest in hand as it stared blankly at the piece of paper before them.

Sir Jaune Arcadia, eighth born child, and first born son of, Duke Acheius Arcadia, and Lady Juniper Arcadia was at a loss for words. He stared at quill, and paper as his finger started tapping the table before he cupped his face in his hands before looking leaning his head back, and let a deep sigh escape his lips. He let out a tired sigh as he closed his eyes trying to collect his thoughts, but it was broken when he heard a knock on the door to his assigned room.

Jaune: Enter.

Jaune turned to see, Sienna Khan walk in, cup of wine in hand, and a bottle in the other.

Sienna: Hey.

Jaune: Hi, Sienna.

Sienna: Where were you? We missed you at the impromptu party we had. You saw, Her Majesty, and then you disappeared. Something wrong?

Jaune: I came here... I needed to be alone to collect my thoughts... write a letter to my family... But, nothing... nothings coming out....

Jaune cupped his face in his hand as a tired groan escaped his lips as he looked at the blank sheet of paper before him.

Sienna: Oh, what's wrong?

Jaune: I last saw my family about...? Three...? Yeah, about three years ago. And... and, since then I've been fighting in a war for two, and a half years... I've been leading armies in a war for two, and a half years! I've been painting these lands red with blood as I liberated these lands from a tyrant! And, the last letter I sent to my family was to let them know I made it to, Menagerie... Where the hell do I even start writing...?!

Sienna's eyes widened in surprise as she took a sip from her wine before taking a spot on a fainting couch in the room, before taking another sip of her drink as came up with a possible answer to his question.

Sienna: Well... I suppose a basic letter telling them that you are okay is a good place to begin.

Jaune: That is no doubt a wise place to start... I should also give them a outline of what happened, why I joined the war, how I fought, and eventually won the war. But... how the hell am I supposed to explain to them why I am staying here... maybe forever...

Sienna: Forever?

Sienna finished her drink before sat up in her seat to speak at, Jaune.

Sienna: I thought your plan was to stay, and help stabilize the country, and then return home. You've told me how much you love your home, and your family. Why would you decide not to return to your homeland, and just stay here?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: You remember that siege we did...? The one fort at the port town. What was it called again... Kaitafish?

Sienna: Yes, Kaitafish. We had to surround the fort from land, and see before we could lay siege to it.

Jaune: To prevent people from escaping while we laid siege to the fort, yes. While that is a viable tactic, one I would have ordered myself. But, that wasn't why you made that recommendation now, was it, Sienna?

Sienna: What do you mean...?

Sienna eyed, Jaune cautiously. Jaune could see how the hair on her ears straightened out, a visible sign that she was on end, and ready to attack. Jaune chided himself in his head for making her feel that way, now was not the time for shadow play.

Jaune: My apologies, Sienna. I did not mean to put you on edge with my questionings. I just wanted to know why you were so dead set... on killing the 'Traitor,' Blake... Or, I should say, Blake Belladonna, First Princess of Menagerie.

Sienna's eyes relaxed along with the rest of her body as a tired sigh escaped her lips. She leant back in her seat as she grabbed a bottle of wine she apparently brought along with her, refilling her drink before taking a sip.

Sienna: I see her, Majesty told you that she was her daughter...

Jaune: Indirectly. She mostly told me about how she had a daughter, and that she betrayed her father, and lead him to his death. She was dead to her, Majesty by bond when she betrayed her family, and then she was truly dead by blood when you killed her.

Jaune: But, my question is who was she to you. The way you killed her... that was personal; It was slow, and deliberate. You can say it was for her father, the former king. But, there was venom in your voice that spoke of a personal vendetta. So tell me, Sienna; Who was the kinslayer, Blake to you?

Their eyes remained locked with one another, waiting for the other to buckle under the pressure of the others gaze. But, it was, Sienna's who broke first. A defeated sigh escaped her lips as she took another sip of her wine, an old vintage from the northern vineyards of, Angoor'ka'Baar. A land that will require extensive rebuilding after the, White Fang torched it all.

But as, Sienna mused over these things, her gaze returned to, Jaune as another defeated sigh escaped her lips.

Sienna: It scary how observant you can be, you know that?

Jaune shrugged his shoulders as he too took a drink from his wine.

Jaune: I am the son of a high ranking noble; I was trained to read people expressions, and the words left unspoken since I was a child. I am better at reading woman's expressions than most though. Seven sisters, and all.

Sienna let loose a short burst of laughter, as she took another drink.

Sienna: Haaa... I knew who, Blake was... I met her during one of the, White Fang rallies. I liked this troublesome child that was filled with so much fervour for the faunas cause, and desire to bring forth a brighter future for the faunas. The brat had such a habit of sneaking away from her mother, that his majesty, King Ghira Belladonna... May he rest in peace.

The pair raised their glasses their glasses in a silent salute before taking a drink as, Sienna resumed her tale.

Sienna: He informed me who, Blake was, and asked me to watch over her, and I was honoured to watch over her. I started to see her as the little sister I never had... But, I often find myself wishing I didn't let her become so close to the, White Fang as I did. If she wasn't so intertwined with the, White Fang she would have never met, Adam, and his radicals. And, things... things would have turned out differently.

Jaune: I see... Did you try to keep, Adam away from her?

Sienna nodded her head as she took her drink from her lips.

Sienna: Yes. Well, at least I thought I did. You understand how, Adam operated; He spoke in honeyed words, and idealistic fantasies to poison the minds of the impressionable zealots for his radical cause. Blake, just so happened to be one of those zealots. I never even knew she was under his thumb until I saw her standing next to, Adam while he paraded, Ghira's severed head around like a trophy...

Jaune: Probably told her to keep it a secret around you, not to arouse suspicion. Standard practice for those forming cults, and the likes.

Sienna: Well, I never expected her betrayal, nor any of the other members betrayal. I was the leader of the, White Fang, but was I ever truly the leader for it to fall apart so easily under my reign?

Jaune saw, Sienna's cat ears fall in shame as she mused on her failings. While, Jaune couldn't fully blame her, she was not without fault.

Jaune: It is your fault that the, White Fang fell from under your grasp. But, it was not your fault that it fell. That's more so the parents fault for not teaching the children probably about the events, and reasons behind the, Faunas Wars.

Jaune: Those children weren't taught the truths of the war, and why they were so easily radicalized was because they were tricked into believing that they were owed retribution for something that had already been repaid.

Jaune: And, most were just angry; At their elders, at their parents, or just at the world. It didn't matter what, they were just angry, and wanted the world to pay.

Jaune: Don't blame yourself, Sienna. The fault is just as much as your as it is the, King, and Queen's. But, most of the blame lays upon the traitors severed heads. Learn from this just as the children should have. Learn of the sins of failure of a generation to learn from their past, so their failings are not repeated again.

Sienna: I know... there is much that the people of, Menagerie need to be taught. Both the adults, and the children. But, what does this have to do with you possibly staying her forever?

Jaune watched the drink as he swirled it in his hands before finishing what remained of his drink before pouring himself another.

Jaune: Her Majesty, Queen Kali Asrid Belladonna. The Shadow Queen of the Faunas Kingdom of Menagerie. Has asked me to marry her, and to sire an heir with her...

Sienna: PFFFFFT!?!

Sienna spat out her drink in shock as a harsh coughing fit soon followed as she looked at, Jaune with a wild eye stared as if he had just said the most outrageous thing ever uttered.

Which to be fair, considering what he just said it was no doubt the most outrageous thing he had ever said.

Sienna: (Cough cough!) What the hell did you just say?!

Jaune: The Queen wants me to marry her, become the new king, and sire an heir with her.

Sienna: You did say that...

Sienna: What the hell, Jaune?! Did she seriously make such an offer to you?!

Jaune nodded his head as he took another drink.

Jaune: Yeah... Apparently the politics in this kingdom works differently here than it does back home...

Jaune: Back home the king is the sole leader of the kingdom; He has unconditional control over everything: The kingdoms finances, the military, internal, and external politics, all of this is under the kings control no questions asked. The queens duty is to marry the king, for political gains of some sort, and have children. Either for an heir to succeed the throne, or marry them off for other political marriages to support the kingdom.

Jaune: But, here it is different... Here though, the king is the figure head, he is what people think the nations power lies behind. In reality the king isn't the power behind this nation. The kings duty is lead the armies, protect the people, and fight foreign invaders. Most of the work to run this kingdom is done in the shadows by the queen,

Jaune: The queens duty is to manage the finances, and mange internal, and external politics of the kingdom from the shadows. It is her duty to make sure the kingdom stays afloat through any turmoil it faces. It a miracle that, Queen Belladonna managed to hold this kingdom together while it went though a bloody civil war. Hell, the war could have gone on for far long if she wasn't here. I've read history tomes about civil wars that went on for over a decade! There is a reason why the, Queen of Menagerie is called, 'The Shadow Queen.'

Sienna leaned back in the fainting couch as she pounder his words, and came to the conclusion as to why the, Queen made, Jaune such an offer.

Sienna: You've been behaving like the, King of Menagerie for over two years now already... You've been leading the nation's armies, and became the rallying cry the people united around to overthrow, Adam's tyrannical rule... You are the, King of the Menagerie, but without a crown...

Jaune: Her Majesty said the same thing herself when she made me the offer. Through my actions in the past two three, I have crowned myself king without becoming a king.

Jaune: So, as my reward for freeing her country, and her people... The Queen offered me her hand, and the crown in order to help stabilize the kingdom, and to sire an heir with her...

Sienna: Well... all in all it's a good deal. You planned to stay to help stabilize the country. You will have the power of the crown behind you as you plan to do so. You would just have to marry the, Queen, and sire an heir. This sounds like your typical political marriage you would be forced to do back home. What's stopping you from accepting her offer.

Jaune: Home.

Sienna: Oh... home...

Jaune's one word answer made sense. It explained everything down to the most minute detail as to why, Jaune couldn't just accept the, Queen's offer.

Jaune: I am the only son, and heir to the, Dukedom of House Arcadia. I have a predetermined duty to carry on the legacy, and honour of my family's home. I can not abandon my duty to my family, and house to do the exact same thing here, as I must do for my family back home.

Sienna: But, you have seven sisters; Couldn't one of them bare the responsibility of your house?

Jaune cupped his chin in his hand as his finger ran across the stubble on his face as he contemplated, Sienna's words.

Jaune: It is plausible... One of them would have to get married, and sire a male heir. But, that would only apply if I was dead. Ha... I will write a letter that summarizes the events of the last three years. I will tell them how I joined, and started a civil war to overthrow a tyrant, traitor king. Ha. I can already see my father's confused face just saying that.

Sienna smiled as a smile appeared across, Jaune's face as he started writing his letter.

Jaune: He will probably be interested in how I did that. No doubt he will be curious about what strategy's I implemented to win this war. My father, and I always played wargames to sharpen my mind when it came to military strategy. He always got so annoyed with how good I was at it.

Jaune: I wonder how he will think when he learns I liberated the country, and my offered reward for this deed was the throne, and the current, Queen's hand in marriage...

Jaune: I don't know how my father will react to that. But, my mother will probably be excited at the prospect of having grandchildren... My mother has been trying to get me married for years so she can have grandchildren. She baby crazy...

Sienna: Ha! It appears you have an interesting family, I would like to meet them.

Jaune: I am sure my parents would be quite taken with you. My father would commend you on your strength of character for fighting for your freedom.

Sienna: And, your mother?

Jaune: My mother would probably try, and get me to marry you for faunas grandchildren. She will see you, and just scream at me. "Marry her!" I'd bet money on that.

Sienna: HA! I want to meet her more now! Although, I wouldn't mind becoming your concubine...

Sienna mumbled under her breath as she muttered those last words. Jaune just laughed at the first part as he continued writing his letter to his family.

Sienna: So after you write this letter, what will you do?

Jaune: Her Majesty the Queen has given me the, King's authority to act as needed to rebuild this nation as it's acting king. So the first thing I plan to do after finishing this letter is this...

Jaune placed the quill down before reaching up, and grabbing his drink, and raising it in a toast to, Sienna.

Jaune: Celebrate our victory, and get drunk!

Sienna: Hahaha! I'll drink to that!

The pair downed their drinks, and started to recount their tales of the past three years. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There was much work to be done in the future. But for now, it was time to celebrate.

And, celebrate they would.

[melonisopod]

We're not done with our Season 1 Sinners

The more I think about it the more I believe we're gonna get follow-up chapters for Gregor, Rodion, and Sinclair.

The main reason we didn't get the full story on them was because it would have required way too much spoilery stuff that was only set up but never elaborated on.

I just hope Gregor, Rodion, and Sinclair get their own season-long chapters, complete with a Battle Pass and Mili Song each. (Well, Sinclair already has a Mili song but you know what I mean). I know Gregor and Rodion *technically* have Legedermain and Rime Shank respectively, which represent the main 'villain' of their respective chapters, but it would also be cool if they were given a second, far stronger EGO that played into their personal traumas beyond just "The former G. Corp's remains" and "The system of capitalism" respectively.

(We currently don't know Baba Yaga's rank. It very likely could be an ALEPH or at least a WAW. Actually, given the *other* suspected ALEPH we've run into very recently, I'd argue Baba Yaga exhibits similar properties - taking possession of several people that it uses as 'minions' and altering essentially an entire section of the Canto's dungeon, while never being fought directly)

(Ebony Queen's Apple may get an upgrade by the time we hit Canto 13, since its power was initially suppressed by the Golden Bough when we fought it first (and it's allegedly a WAW-level). It even has an unused (for now) "egg" form that we might see later on!)

(What exactly happens to Kromer in that boss battle? It can't be Distortion but saying she turned into a Peccatulum Luxuria doesn't feel right either. Her mental state doesn't seem *broken* per se. My theory is it's Nothing There, since it's prominently featured as an EGO Corrosion among the Inquisitors. She could have been hiding an EGO under her uniform, lmao)

There's more I could add but I need a little time to think. Potential Battle Pass Abnormalities for Cantos 13, 14, and 15, what the themes could explore, what their Mili songs would sound like. (Centipede Apostle Fourth Front of the Smoke War, All-Around Cleaner, and Star Luminary are all ones I think could go into Gregor, Rodion, and Sinclair's "featured" seasons, respectively)

[glisten-inthedark]

The way Mike says “I say it,” during his argument with El about how he doesn’t say ily is very intriguing to me. He says it with so much….gravity? Solemness? Almost….somberness?? It’s so hard to pinpoint but there’s no warmth in his eyes and it almost feels like a mantra, and he does this little nod at the end of it like he’s telling himself, “Yep, that’s right, I do say it.” He says it like saying it will end the conversation. But it doesn’t.

I agree with other analyses that say he’s trying to gaslight himself in this scene too because what an odd delivery.

Also, have we ever really broken down why this entire scene proves that him not saying I love you isn’t born out of insecurity or, like he later claims, saying it would make El realize he’s just a loser soon? Because for one thing, it’s not like this is something that is disappointing El but she’s keeping it to herself and only confiding it in others. She makes it so damn clear that she wants Mike to say it, that it’s reached the point where she doesn’t think he loves her romantically anymore—if he loves her romantically but is insecure, then El confronting him on not saying it to her should actually make him feel more secure because it’s confirmation that she wants me to love her romantically. And it’s also showing him that he’d actually lose her faster by not saying it than by saying it so what the hell does he have to lose?

But more importantly, Mike insists that he does tell her he loves her.

So how the fuck would that work, Wheeler?? You’re afraid of saying the words I love you to her because you think you’ll lose her faster if you do but also you insist that you do say it?? So if you want El to believe that you do tell her you love her even though apparently her being told by you that you love her would facilitate you losing her??????

Bullshit, Michael Wheeler!

And I think you were the one who pointed out that Mike doesn’t say, “You know how I feel about you,” but rather, “You know what I think of you.” which is like, such a huge Freudian slip imo, especially because he then goes on to say only 2 things about her: she’s the most incredible person in the world, and she’s a superhero.

Nothing about how he feels about her. Just what he thinks of her as. And guess who also calls El a superhero? Her other friends. Mike says two things about El in this scene that literally anyone else in their party would. Compared to Will’s van confession where he talks about how Mike makes him feel—like he’s better for being different, like he’s not a mistake, and gives him the courage to keep going. That’s fucking romantic love right there.

Lastly I want to praise Finn Wolfhard for his microexpressions during that entire argument because I rewatched it over and over for this comment to try and find words to describe how he delivers that one line, but damn after El says, “You can’t even write it,” he has the most fleeting microexpression of panic that is honestly so impressive—it’s this eye twitch/muscle flex by his right eye and this tiny little flinch forward, it almost looks like the right side of his face minutely trembles, A+ acting right there👏👏👏

Hello!

First of all I'm hella sick and I just took some medicine so if I don't make any sense you can blame it on that lmao.

First of all, I just rewatched the scene to see if I could pick it up and my diseased riddled brain did notice what you're talking about. Firstly, he says with such certainty that you'd almost believe it if it weren't for the fact we saw how he signed his letters to El.

And secondly, is almost as if he's trying to convince himself and her that he does say it, probably because as you said, he expected this to end the conversation.

And see, it bothers me so much that people (the GA) don't notice the inconsistency in Mike's behavior because had not one, but two moments that should tell him exactly what he claims he needs to hear. The first is when El tells him point blank that she loves him too, and the second is this one.

Like, what sense does it make that he says he doesn't say the one thing he knows she wants him to say because he's afraid that it'll hurt if he loses her, but him not saying is clearly what's hurting her therefore might be the thing that can make him lose her, so WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT, MICHAEL?

And it's like you said, he says be does say it like he believes it, like he thinks he does which opens another Pandora box, because is like you said, he's telling El he says he loved and then turns around and says he didn't say it because he's afraid to lose her so WHICH IS IT? Can't be fucking both.

And yup, I'm the one who said that about him saying what he thinks of her and not what he feels.

He never says he likes her or anything remotely singular to her personality, is just about the things he thinks she can do which I still insist connects to her he associates El with physical and emotional security that he lacks.

But yes, he never said what she really needed to her, he said the opposite as a matter of fact.

I hope this made sense lmao

[seitmai]

Very late and very many thoughts, so I'm gonna utilize the read more function

“How the hell are you still consistently finding this much alcohol? We’re barely finding enough food.” Heaving himself up until he’s sitting on the edge of his mattress, Jake rests his head heavily in his hands as the world continues to spin around him. Still slurring slightly, he mutters, “‘s not enough. Two bottles a night aren’t helpin’ anymore. Nightmare’s back.”

😬😬😬

The water heater broke a few months ago and with no one left in their dwindling group who knew how to fix it, freezing showers had become the norm.

Not me adding "learn basics of fixing a water heater" to my to do list lmao

Jake used to use the board as his motivation to keep fighting, to not let more names be added to the list. But now that it contains so many faces of the people he cared deeply for or respected—you, Coyote, Iceman, Cyclone, Payback—it has become a constant reminder of all the ways he failed. 

💔💔💔

 Next to her, Bob scans the area just beyond the fence, his blue eyes alert behind his cracked glasses. With his unusual prescription, it’s been impossible to find a replacement after they slipped off his face running from a pack of creatures. He made it safely to the church in one piece—one of his lenses did not. Yet, he has never once complained or made excuses for his impaired vision. 

Bob is just such a good soul 🥺

“Oh, Jake…” Your hands fly up to cover your mouth as your eyes continue to roam over his body. Yet even covered, he can see your jaw trembling as you cry, “Baby, what…We promised if something ever happened to the other, we wouldn’t give up. We would keep fighting.” “I’m still here, aren’t I?” Jake snaps. But then he wilts under the weight of your gaze. Scrubbing his hand over his face, he whispers, “I almost ended it—a few times. Drugs, booze, even thought I’d take my nickname literally. Made a noose and everything. But the thing that always stopped me was that promise. So, yeah, I–I’ve been a bit of a mess since you—” he gestures at your transformed self “—and I’m sorry. I tried to be strong but losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. We were supposed to face this hellscape together and I didn’t know how to cope without you so I let myself become someone that I hate. But now that you’re back—”

This broke my heart.. it shows how truly broken Jake is and that every day is a struggle with her for him💔

You turn to gaze into the darkness surrounding you. “It’s like acid in my veins, a constant burning fire in my gut that only grows stronger if it’s not satisfied. Blood’s the only thing that soothes the pain for even a few hours, but it’s never enough. I’ve tried to stop myself, I have, but each time I drink it gets hard to fight. And with every life I take, I feel a little more of myself slip away. I’m not the woman you loved anymore, Jake. I’m just a monster with her face.” Jake shakes his head with a firm set in his jaw. “No. I don't believe that. It's still you. Why else would you have looked for me? The woman I love is still here and she needed to see me just as much as I needed to see her.”

He is still so in love 🥺

“And I don’t care what you think.” Without hesitation, Jake crosses the remainder of his little haven of sunlight and steps forward to join you in the inky darkness. You cower back again but he takes another step to maintain the same distance between you. “You're not going to hurt me. I know that. Because you're so strong and brave and you can fight this–”

The way he believes and trust in her more than she does herself 🥹

This newest revelation is the last straw for Jake. A man can only process so much trauma at once before he reaches his breaking point. Falling to his knees, he hangs his head, tears dripping off his face onto the dusty tile beneath him as his shoulders shake with stifled sobs. 

I just wanna give him a hug, this is a lot 😭

You fall silent again, but Jake just continues to cry with no acknowledgment of what you said. After a moment of this, you plead, “Jake, talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. If you want me to go—”  “Please…” Jake breathes, the weight of the past two years pressing down on him. “Please let me hold you.” “W-what?” Based on the utter shock in your voice, that is not what you were expecting him to say. It takes everything in him, but Jake lifts his eyes so they meet yours. “Baby, I need you in my arms again. To feel you, touch you, prove this is real. I have dreamed about you every night for two years. Horrible, bloody nightmares that have destroyed my life. I need you to chase those nightmares away.”

He is desperate for a moment of solace and how it was 2 years ago that he is willing to die for that 😭

“Jake, have you not heard a word I’ve said? I’ve killed our friends and I’ll kill you too. Or worse, I’ll turn you.” “I want you to,” he whispers.

He is so done with this life 🥺

“Please…” Jake sobs loudly, too emotionally and mentally drained to get to his feet and walk to you. “I can’t live without you anymore. I need us to be together, whatever that looks like.” “You don’t know what you’re asking.” “You’ve made it pretty clear. But I’m willing to bear the pain, the…the consequences of this choice if it means I can be with you. So, please, don’t make me spend one more second without you. Either kill me or turn me, but I can’t do this anymore.”

😭😭😭

Jake can’t wait any longer. He grabs your hand and pulls you into his chest, squeezing you as tightly as he possibly can. Your skin is icy beneath his touch, but he doesn’t care. He’s holding you in his arms again and nothing else in the world matters.  Squeezing you tighter, Jake mutters, “No. It’s okay, baby. I want this. Just let go.”

He has already made his peace 🥺

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, black tears falling on his chest. “I’ll be as gentle as I can.”

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Soft moans and gasps that have Jake flashing back to all those times you were beneath him as he drove you closer and closer to the edge. And for just a second, he can bear the pain knowing he is giving you some semblance of pleasure.

He truly would do anything for her 🥺

Jake picks up the soft sound as it is breathed across the empty warehouse, his ears already tuning into sounds humans shouldn’t be able to hear. His eyes flutter open and just over your shoulder, he can see Bob and Phoenix bathed in sunlight standing at the entrance to the building. Bob has tears in his eyes, his lips whispering your name in horror as he watches the growing gory mess you are making of Jake’s neck. He glances back and forth between Jake and Phoenix, silently pleading with her to find a way to fix this.

Poor Bob 🥺

But Phoenix just stares at the pair of reunited lovers, her jaw set tightly. And Jake knows she understands. Phoenix always understands. 

Of course she does 🥹

Jake is weak from blood loss and pain, but he manages the slightest of nods. Lifting two fingers to her forehead, Phoenix gives Jake a small salute in return.

What a small but beautiful goodbye between them 😭

Then she raises her flashlight. As the beam of light strikes your shoulder, your mouth instantly disappears from Jake’s throat with an agonized hiss as you try to flee from the pain. But using what strength he has left, Jake holds you in place. Smiling as every cell in his body begins to burn differently from before, he whispers, “Together.” And he holds up his hand which is cracking and disintegrating in the light just like yours. Though still pained, your face softens as you realize what he is doing. Transformation or death, those had been his choices. However, it turns out it wasn’t an “or” but an “and”. Reaching out, you link your fingers with his, your skin flaky and fragile in his grasp. You snuggle your head against the unbitten crook of his neck, whimpering slightly as the light does its job, and you whisper back, “Together.” Jake wraps his other arm around you and holds you close, silently vowing to never let go again.

Together 😭❤️😭❤️😭

The last thing he sees before his world slips away is the strangely beautiful swirl of particles of your two disintegrating bodies intermingling in the beam of sunlight. 

A beautiful ending together, like they deserved🥹

Drink With Me (Part 2)

AI-Less Whumptober 2024: Day 6. self-sacrifice Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Jake "Hangman" Seresin, f!reader, Vampire Apocalypse AU Summary: Two years after Jake was forced to watch you ripped apart by the creatures that now terrorize the world, he is a shell of the man he once was. However, a familiar voice calling to him in the dark may give him a second chance. Word Count: 5911 TW: Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Vampires, Character Death, Murder, Grief, Biting, Mention of Suicidal Thoughts, Drinking (alcohol and blood), Language Notes: Not beta read so sorry for any mistakes! Part of @ailesswhumptober's event! 💗

Series Masterlist

“No….No!” 

He tries to race to your side, to stop the torment playing out before his eyes, but he is held back by hundreds of hands wrapping around him, pulling him away. Fighting against them with every ounce of his strength, he screams, “Get the fuck off of me! We need to help her! No! What the fuck are you doing?” 

“She’s gone, Hangman,” dozens of disembodied voices whisper in unison from the darkness behind him. “I’m so sorry, but there’s nothing else anyone can do for her now. It’s over. It’s been over for years. You failed. Just as you continue to fail every night.”

“No! I can save her! Please, let me save her this time!” Jake sobs as he continues to struggle against whatever is holding him back. “Please!”

But it’s no use. He’s not strong enough. As he is dragged farther and farther away, he sees you lift your head one last time, panic and pain etched across your face. You lock eyes with him and just have time to scream a terrified, “Jake!” before one of the creatures rips your throat out with its teeth—

Jake bolts upright with a deep gasp, only to immediately collapse back onto his mattress with a pitiful moan. He grabs his head as it throbs painfully with every beat of his racing heart and he squeezes his eyes together tightly in an attempt to stop the world from spinning around him. But it does little to help. His nearly naked body feels sticky and gross tangled in his soiled sheet and he wonders if it’s just sweat from the nightmare, or if he vomited in his sleep again. Maybe both…probably both. 

At least he is fairly certain he hadn’t pissed himself this time if the intense pressure in his bladder is any indication. However, he doesn’t have the faintest desire to crawl to the bathroom so he’ll worry about those consequences later. Instead, he rolls over and tries to push your final agonized scream from his mind so he can go back to some semblance of sleep.

Just as he begins to pass out again, he hears the curtain hanging around his small space being pushed back and the toe of a boot digs into his side. Without opening his eyes, he swats at the foot, trying to shove it away. “‘uck off, Phe,” he mumbles somewhat coherently. “‘s too early.”

“Tell that to the rest of us who have already been awake for several hours,” Phoenix snaps, driving her boot deeper into Jake’s ribs. When he tries to roll away, she sighs, “Do we really have to do this every morning? I’m not your fucking babysitter. Get up! Bob and I need your help setting up the trap while the light’s in the right position.”

There is nothing in the world that Jake wants to do more than ignore her and go back to sleep. However, she’s right. They do go through this every morning and by now he has accepted the fact that he can not win this argument. So, reluctantly, he peels open his eyes and squints up at her.

Seeing that some progress is being made, Phoenix removes her boot from his side and takes a few steps back. In doing so, she almost slips on the drink Jake had spilled the night before. Looking around his small space, she shakes her head. 

“Jesus, Hangman,” she grumbles as she kicks a few empty wine bottles out of the way, sending them clinking across the floor only to crash into piles of more. “How the hell are you still consistently finding this much alcohol? We’re barely finding enough food.”

Heaving himself up until he’s sitting on the edge of his mattress, Jake rests his head heavily in his hands as the world continues to spin around him. Still slurring slightly, he mutters, “‘s not enough. Two bottles a night aren’t helpin’ anymore. Nightmare’s back.”

“Yeah, well, we’ve all got our own nightmares that haunt us and you don’t see the rest of us pickling our livers to deal with it.” She hurls a half-empty backpack at him which smacks into the side of his head, nearly knocking over his unsteady form. “Now get your shit together and meet us out front in thirty minutes. We’ve got work to do.” She stomps out of his little alcove to give him some privacy but then pivots to add, “And for fuck’s sake, take a shower.”

Forty-five minutes later, Jake steps out of the shower stall, a thread-bare towel wrapped low on his hips. He shivers slightly as he pads across the cold tile floor towards the sinks. The water heater broke a few months ago and with no one left in their dwindling group who knew how to fix it, freezing showers had become the norm. While they should be grateful they even had any water at all, Jake can’t help but recall a time when a hot shower was the best part of his day. 

A soft gasp leaves your lips as he presses his bare body against yours, pinning you to the cool tile wall. Your eyes sparkle in the muted light filtered through the shower curtain as you gaze hungrily at him. Warm water flows over his back as he sinks into you—

No. No memories. Not now. Not when he doesn’t have the luxury of going back to his “room” and drowning them in booze. 

Instead, Jake quickly dresses, trying his best not to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Half the time—when there is still enough lingering alcohol in his system—he sees your mangled corpse standing behind his reflection. The other half, he left staring at the shell of the man he had become. In some ways, that’s worse because he knows it would break your heart to see what losing you has done to him.

Even though sanitation supplies had only really become a scarcity in the last few months, Jake had given up the will for self-grooming long before that. The tangled beard covering his sunken cheeks is a clear indication of that as is the long greasy strands of hair hanging limply in front of the dark circles surrounding his bloodshot eyes. You had always preferred him clean-shaven and with shorter hair. But you were gone so he didn’t give a fuck.

Exiting the bathroom, Jake heads toward the front of the church. He averts his eyes as he passes the bulletin board that had been converted into a memorial shrine for those they had lost. He remembers the days when there had only been a few names and pictures up there. Now, the fallen takes up every inch of the board and spills out across the wall. Jake used to use the board as his motivation to keep fighting, to not let more names be added to the list. But now that it contains so many faces of the people he cared deeply for or respected—you, Coyote, Iceman, Cyclone, Payback—it has become a constant reminder of all the ways he failed.  

Once, this rag-tag group of survivors who had dubbed themselves The Daggers had numbered in the dozens. But now, there are only a handful left. And with supplies and food dwindling quickly, there is no telling how long it’ll be before the rest of them earn a place on the board.

As he pushes his way through the church doors, Jake recoils as he is hit with the full brightness of the sunny day. His headache which had previously dulled slightly in the cold shower came rushing back with a vengeance. Groaning, he digs his sunglasses out of the backpack Phoenix had thrown him earlier and places them on his face. They were a cheap plastic pair Coyote had picked up for him on one of his runs to the pharmacy over a year ago, but they at least cut out some of the glare.

Phoenix is leaning against the fence with her arms folded across her chest, a scowl carved deep into her face. Now that most of those originally in charge were no longer with them, the title of leader had fallen on her shoulders. For the past few months, she had done everything in her power to hold the group together despite the increasingly dire conditions—and one jackass of a drunk who makes her life that much more difficult.   

Next to her, Bob scans the area just beyond the fence, his blue eyes alert behind his cracked glasses. With his unusual prescription, it’s been impossible to find a replacement after they slipped off his face running from a pack of creatures. He made it safely to the church in one piece—one of his lenses did not. Yet, he has never once complained or made excuses for his impaired vision. 

They were the best of the remaining survivors and had become the only real hope the Daggers had left. Yet they spent most of their days dragging Jake’s sorry ass around to ensure he didn’t drink himself to death.

Jake had been like them once: always stepping up when volunteers were needed, doing what he could to fix what was broken, protecting the people within their group. But he hadn’t been that person for the past two years. Not since he had watched you devoured before his eyes as he stood on these very steps.

It was that moment he tried desperately to avoid every night in his dreams. Reliving that day over and over again. Knowing all the moments he could have done something differently or acted faster that would have saved you yet being unable to change anything. Just forced to hear your agonizing final screams before catching his last glimpse of you whispering his name…

He needs to find more alcohol.

“About fucking time,” Phoenix mutters under her breath, pushing herself off the fence.

Bob shoots her a stern look, one that softens as he turns his attention to the new arrival. “Thanks for helping us out, Jake. We appreciate the extra hands.”

“Not like she gave me much of a choice,” Jake mutters under his breath. But seeing the way Bob’s shoulders slump at his words, he does his best to smile at him. “But I’m here now so let’s do this.”

Bob’s smile returns and he nods happily at the other man. As he turns to exit the churchyard, Phoenix shoots Jake another dirty look. He knows despite Bob’s insistence that she keeps dragging Jake along with them, she’s afraid Jake’ll screw up and cost her or Bob their lives. And it’s a fair concern. After all, it’s his fault Bob was almost killed the time his glasses were damaged. Jake had been drunk on patrol and hadn’t seen the creatures until it was almost too late to warn the rest of the team. While Bob never blamed him, Phoenix did. She tried to be as supportive as possible when Jake first began to spiral, but after the incident with Bob, she only tolerated his antics for the sake of her partner. Though not even she despised this version of Jake as much as Jake despised himself. 

Jake knew what a failure and a screwup he had become. Yet as much as he wished he could pull himself together and become the man he used to be, he also knew that there was only one person who could help him do that. 

But you were never coming back.

It’s amazing how much the world can change in such a short amount of time. In the three short years since the creatures first appeared, the center of town is now virtually unrecognizable. Vines and various foliage scale the sides of all the buildings. Cars are abandoned in the middle of the street, some with their doors still open as their passengers fled from them. Every window has been dark since the power grid failed. And without the constant upkeep, everything is starting to decay.

The warehouse is no exception. Once bustling and full of life, it has now is a shadow of its former self. With very few windows save those by the entrance and no interior lights left to brighten the space, the interior becomes a black hole after walking just a few feet into it. However due to a collapse in the roof, at certain times of the day, a single shaft of light shines all the way down to the ground floor creating a small illuminated circle on the floor. 

It is in this small safe haven that Jake finds himself. Echos bounce off the walls of the cavernous space as he puts the finishing touches on the trap in front of him. Four months ago, a few survivors passing through had shared what they had discovered with The Daggers—a way to kill the creatures. Jake still doesn’t understand how it works, something to do with converting normal light into an artificial sunlight of sorts, but luckily there were those smarter than him around who understood and harnessed this knowledge into weapons. Since then, The Daggers had managed to take out a few of the creatures. However, they quickly learned that attacking the creatures in the large packs they usually hunted in resulted in costly casualties on both sides.

It was Phoenix’s brilliant idea to take the stealth approach instead of the head-on one. They began setting traps in the area using motion lights in the hopes of eliminating some of the creatures stalking near their hideout in the middle of the night when they were at their most active. So far, they have had promising results. 

Jake is almost done setting this trap. Then he can test it and use his flashlight to get himself from this shaft of light back outside. Hopefully, he’ll then have time to sneak off to try to find more alcohol before Phoenix and Bob return for him. He hasn’t checked the houses a few blocks to the east yet and maybe—

“Jake…”

Jake’s head snaps up as his heart freezes in his chest, the trap instantly forgotten. His eyes dart around the room searching for the source of the sound. But there’s no one else there. He’s alone…he’s always alone.

Yet, just as he begins to return to his job at hand, he sees something. Squinting, he peers deeper into the heart of the building and just makes out the faint outline of a single figure within the darkness.

Instincts kicking in, Jake draws his knife from his boot and drops into a defensive stance in the center of the beam of light, waiting for the attack he knows is coming. His eyes flicker around the space, searching the darkness for signs of the rest of the swarm, yet for now all he can see is the one in front of him. But he knows that can’t be it. The creatures hunt in groups, using their numbers to overwhelm and incapacitate their victims so escape is nigh on impossible. The only few loners they had come across over the years were ones that had been injured or were too malnourished to contribute to the next hunt.

But the figure standing before Jake doesn’t seem injured or blood-crazed. It stands straight and still, completely unmoving. For several moments, nothing happens. Though still cautious, Jake begins to relax his stance a little, wondering if his eyes or mind is just playing tricks on him.

But then, a voice cuts through the silence. “I was three blocks away when I caught your scent. I don’t know how, but I immediately knew it was you.”

The knife slips from Jake’s fingers, the clatter of metal on tile echoing around the cavernous room. The voice that he had not heard outside of his dreams for the past two years punches him in the chest, nearly bringing him to his knees as tears welled up in his eyes. “B-baby?”

There is a pause before the voice continues, unemotional and flat. “I should have bolted in any other direction, put as much space between us as possible but…I couldn’t. I’m selfish enough that I had to risk seeing you one last time.”

“Oh my god,” Jake breathes. “It’s really you.”

He takes a few stumbling steps towards the figure—towards you—but you draw back further into the shadows. “No! Stop! Stay in the light.” There is a panicked edge in your tone, the first sign of emotion you have let slip in, and it is enough to make Jake listen.

As much as he longs to launch himself into your arms, he reluctantly does what you ask. He lingers just shy of the darkness, the toes of his boots resting at the point where the last of the sunbeams fade on the tiles. 

“How are you here?” he asks, his voice breaking. 

“You know how.”

He did. It was a fear that had nestled in the back of his mind these past two years that he didn’t dare consider. Whether that was out of the fear of falling into despair or building up false hope, he didn’t know. But he had never let himself imagine this moment and, now that it was happening, he didn’t know what to do. 

Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, he says, “You said you caught my scent…Do I smell as sexy as you remember?”

A surprised snort of laughter echoes throughout the room as you are taken aback by his question. But when you speak, he hears tears in your voice, “Yeah, Jake. As sexy as always.”

Whatever cold, distant shell you had put in place when you first arrived crumbled and Jake can now hear the real you behind the words. Swallowing, he murmurs, “Please…let me see you.”

Your outline shifts in the darkness. “I-I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please, baby. For the last two years, all I could see was that last memory of you. I need this.”

“No. Seeing me like this is not going to be any better than seeing me like that. I’ve changed.”

“So have I. But I love you and I’ll still love you no matter what.”

For a moment, there is only silence. Then you whisper, “Step to the other side of the light.”

Jake immediately scrambles backward, almost falling as he stumbles over the long-forgotten trap. But he makes it to the outer rim of the circle of light and waits. 

Slowly, your shape edges closer to the light. At first, Jake still can’t make out any details of the person in front of him. But when he does, his heart clenches in his chest. 

There is no denying that it is the woman he loves standing before him but yet it’s not the you he remembers. Your skin has been drained of its color and now resembles that of a corpse, cold and lifeless. Sharp, pointed teeth jut out your mouth over bloodless lips and your fingers end in claw-like talons. You are still wearing the same clothes you had on the day you were attacked but they are shredded and stiff with dried blood in various colors ranging from bright red to rusty-brown. Jake wonders how much of it is yours and how much is your victims.

Any lingering doubt he had about how you are here, any sliver of hope you had escaped your fate, is shattered instantly. This isn’t a miracle. It is a nightmare, a curse. 

But based on the gasp that escapes your trembling lips, you must be thinking the same thing as you get a good look at the man he has become. 

“Oh, Jake…” Your hands fly up to cover your mouth as your eyes continue to roam over his body. Yet even covered, he can see your jaw trembling as you cry, “Baby, what…We promised if something ever happened to the other, we wouldn’t give up. We would keep fighting.”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” Jake snaps. But then he wilts under the weight of your gaze. Scrubbing his hand over his face, he whispers, “I almost ended it—a few times. Drugs, booze, even thought I’d take my nickname literally. Made a noose and everything. But the thing that always stopped me was that promise. So, yeah, I–I’ve been a bit of a mess since you—” he gestures at your transformed self “—and I’m sorry. I tried to be strong but losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. We were supposed to face this hellscape together and I didn’t know how to cope without you so I let myself become someone that I hate. But now that you’re back—”

“I’m not back, Jake. That’s not why—” You shake your head, letting your hands drop. “I shouldn’t be here. This was a mistake and I never should have come. I should have just let you think I was dead. I-I have to go.”

“No! Please–” As Jake takes a few steps across the circle of light, you cower back, retreating further into the darkness.

“Stop!” There is a pained quiver in your voice. “I’m barely controlling myself as it is. If you get closer…I can’t hurt you, Jake. I can’t. But I know if you get any closer, I will and there’ll be nothing I can do to stop it.”

Jake shakes his head. “No. I don’t believe it. You would never hurt me.”

“You don’t get it. It’s not a choice, it’s an undeniable force. It’s hard enough to control myself when I’m fully satiated, but I haven’t fed in almost a week. Your blood—” You squeeze your eyes closed tightly. When you open them again, they have darkened significantly. There is still some color in them, not the pitch-black orbs Jake is used to seeing when the creatures were attacking, but the change still makes him inhale sharply. “The venom doesn’t just turn us into these…these things. It drives us to hunt, to kill. And that need is neverending.”

It breaks Jake’s heart to hear the pain in your voice and he can’t imagine what you’ve been dealing with the past two years. However, as much as it horrifies him, he also wants to know more. “Wh-what does it feel like?”

You turn to gaze into the darkness surrounding you. “It’s like acid in my veins, a constant burning fire in my gut that only grows stronger if it’s not satisfied. Blood’s the only thing that soothes the pain for even a few hours, but it’s never enough. I’ve tried to stop myself, I have, but each time I drink it gets hard to fight. And with every life I take, I feel a little more of myself slip away. I’m not the woman you loved anymore, Jake. I’m just a monster with her face.”

Jake shakes his head with a firm set in his jaw. “No. I don't believe that. It's still you. Why else would you have looked for me? The woman I love is still here and she needed to see me just as much as I needed to see her.”

“Jake–” 

“And I don’t care what you think.” Without hesitation, Jake crosses the remainder of his little haven of sunlight and steps forward to join you in the inky darkness. You cower back again but he takes another step to maintain the same distance between you. “You're not going to hurt me. I know that. Because you're so strong and brave and you can fight this–”

“It’s not that simple—”

“Yes, it is.”

“Jake, stop—”

“No. Not until you believe that—”

“I've killed Daggers.”

Your admission hangs like a dense fog between you. Obviously, Jake had realized what being turned into a creature meant for your feeding habits, but he had been trying not to focus on that. However, now faced with the truth, Jake suddenly connects a few horrifying dots in his head. 

He swallows before asking, “Coyote?”

Last year, he had gotten there just a moment too late. There was nothing he could do but watch as what was left of his best friend was ripped apart by a mass of creatures. But then, just for a second before Fanboy grabbed his arm and pulled him away, he caught a flash of one of the creatures and he could have sworn…

Your eyes widen, clearly not expecting him to know that, but you nod slightly. Then, in a small voice, say, “And Rooster.”

“Roo….Rooster?” The truth about Coyote had been painful, yet regardless of who killed him, Jake had come to terms with his best friend’s death months ago. But Rooster…

He had left the group a few weeks ago after hearing a rumor of someone sounding suspiciously similar to his godfather leading another group out in the desert. They all knew it was dangerous but if anyone could make it, it would have been Rooster. Yet if what you said was true…

“I never wanted you to find out.” Tears begin to stream down your cheeks, thick, black goo that leaves streaks in their wake. “I tried to stop myself but I couldn't. Coyote was already being attacked when I found him and the blood…this thing took over. And the worst part was he…he recognized me just before I tore his throat out. There was this mix of elation I was ‘alive’ and horror at what I had become. I still see it when I close my eyes. With Rooster it was different. I was alone when I found him. We’ve been starving since you found a way to destroy us and I needed blood so badly. He was dead before he even knew I was there.”

This newest revelation is the last straw for Jake. A man can only process so much trauma at once before he reaches his breaking point. Falling to his knees, he hangs his head, tears dripping off his face onto the dusty tile beneath him as his shoulders shake with stifled sobs. 

“Jake…I…” Your voice is brimming with tears as Jake sees your feet take one hesitant step closer to him. But then, you stop. 

For a moment, there is only the sound of his soft cries echoing through the empty space. However, when you finally speak again, your voice has more of the defiance and strength he loves most about you. “You don’t understand what it’s like. When I slip into a frenzy, nothing in this world exists except for blood. Faces…names…past relationships…none of it means anything at that moment. All that’s left is the pure animalistic need to feed. It’s only after I’ve been sated that I come back, that I can remember what happened or what I did. Standing over what’s left of a person, realizing I’m to blame, knowing I’ve murdered them or I’ve forced them to become a monster just like me. I couldn’t stop myself from killing Coyote and Rooster, but I made sure neither of them could turn. They may not have deserved their deaths, but more than that, they didn’t deserve this afterlife. It was the least I could do for them. And I’m sorry it wasn’t more.”

You fall silent again, but Jake just continues to cry with no acknowledgment of what you said. After a moment of this, you plead, “Jake, talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. If you want me to go—” 

“Please…” Jake breathes, the weight of the past two years pressing down on him. “Please let me hold you.”

“W-what?” Based on the utter shock in your voice, that is not what you were expecting him to say.

It takes everything in him, but Jake lifts his eyes so they meet yours. “Baby, I need you in my arms again. To feel you, touch you, prove this is real. I have dreamed about you every night for two years. Horrible, bloody nightmares that have destroyed my life. I need you to chase those nightmares away.”

“Jake, have you not heard a word I’ve said? I’ve killed our friends and I’ll kill you too. Or worse, I’ll turn you.”

“I want you to,” he whispers.

“Jake!” Normally when discussions became this heated between you and you resorted to that sharp tone, your chest would be heaving as you became worked up. Yet this time, your heart isn’t beating and your lungs aren’t huffing air so it remains deathly still. “I can’t do that to you. I won’t condemn you to this life.”

“Please…” Jake sobs loudly, too emotionally and mentally drained to get to his feet and walk to you. “I can’t live without you anymore. I need us to be together, whatever that looks like.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“You’ve made it pretty clear. But I’m willing to bear the pain, the…the consequences of this choice if it means I can be with you. So, please, don’t make me spend one more second without you. Either kill me or turn me, but I can’t do this anymore.”

You stare at him for a long time, your darkened eyes not giving any hint as to what you are thinking. Then, slowly, you nod. “I don’t want to kill you or turn you, but I need you too. I think…I think I always knew when I came here that this is how it would go and I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stay away.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t.” Jake opens his arms, still kneeling on the floor. “Come here, baby.”

With stilted, hesitant steps, you begin to walk towards him. You balk a little as you get closer, fighting against the instinct to avoid the sunlight, but Jake is far enough in the shadows that you can reach him without crossing into the light. Slowly, you lower yourself to your knees in front of him and reach out. 

Jake can’t wait any longer. He grabs your hand and pulls you into his chest, squeezing you as tightly as he possibly can. Your skin is icy beneath his touch, but he doesn’t care. He’s holding you in his arms again and nothing else in the world matters. 

However, you apparently don’t share the same outlook. Your entire body goes rigid beneath him, every muscle tensing as he draws you in. He can feel you begin to tremble as an animalistic growl rumbles in your chest.

“Ja—I can’t—Let me go. Don’t wanna hurt—” You manage to choke the words out through a clamped-shut jaw. As your eyes turn completely black, your teeth begin to grow longer until they resemble true fangs. Several poke through your lips as you press your mouth firmly closed. You are still trying to save him despite everything.

Squeezing you tighter, Jake mutters, “No. It’s okay, baby. I want this. Just let go.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, black tears falling on his chest. “I’ll be as gentle as I can.”

And you sink your fangs into his neck.

Living up to your promise, there is only a small sting as your teeth break his skin. However, in seconds, your venom enters his bloodstream and Jake tries to jerk away from the searing pain. However, your clawed hand clamps firmly on his shoulder, forcing him to remain in place. The venom spreads throughout his system until every cell in his body is screaming out in agony. He wants to black out but his body won’t let him. The change is already occurring and he is being forced to be conscious for every last second of his human life.

As you drink, small sounds begin slipping out between your lips, reverberating against Jake’s skin. Soft moans and gasps that have Jake flashing back to all those times you were beneath him as he drove you closer and closer to the edge. And for just a second, he can bear the pain knowing he is giving you some semblance of pleasure.

However as a vice of white-hot agony squeezes around his lungs and heart, Jake begins to jerk in your grasp as he begins to suffocate. Feeling his distress, you slide your teeth out of his neck and press your blood-soaked lips to the wound. Running your hand through his hair, you coo, “It’s okay, baby. It’s almost over now. I can already taste the change beginning in your blood. But this next part is the worst. Fighting it just makes it harder. Try to relax and let it happen. And I’m right here, my love, forever.” Then you sink your teeth back into his neck.

The choking suffocating feeling only intensifies, but against every self-preservation instinct in Jake’s body, he tries to listen to your advice and just gives in. Closing his eyes, he begins to slip into a sort of meditative state. While the pain or pressure doesn’t lessen, the panic and tension ease slightly. And even once he feels his heart take its last beat and his lungs go still, he tries to remain in this headspace until you are finished.

He isn’t sure how long he is kneeling there before—

“No…”

Jake picks up the soft sound as it is breathed across the empty warehouse, his ears already tuning into sounds humans shouldn’t be able to hear. His eyes flutter open and just over your shoulder, he can see Bob and Phoenix bathed in sunlight standing at the entrance to the building. Bob has tears in his eyes, his lips whispering your name in horror as he watches the growing gory mess you are making of Jake’s neck. He glances back and forth between Jake and Phoenix, silently pleading with her to find a way to fix this.

But Phoenix just stares at the pair of reunited lovers, her jaw set tightly. And Jake knows she understands. Phoenix always understands. 

Jake is weak from blood loss and pain, but he manages the slightest of nods. Lifting two fingers to her forehead, Phoenix gives Jake a small salute in return.

Then she raises her flashlight.

As the beam of light strikes your shoulder, your mouth instantly disappears from Jake’s throat with an agonized hiss as you try to flee from the pain. But using what strength he has left, Jake holds you in place. 

The betrayal on your face as you turn to look at him almost outweighs the pain. Jake knows you must think this was a trick, that he must have been stalling you all along just for this moment. Yet, he had meant every word he said.

Smiling as every cell in his body begins to burn differently from before, he whispers, “Together.” And he holds up his hand which is cracking and disintegrating in the light just like yours.

Though still pained, your face softens as you realize what he is doing. Transformation or death, those had been his choices. However, it turns out it wasn’t an “or” but an “and”.

Reaching out, you link your fingers with his, your skin flaky and fragile in his grasp. You snuggle your head against the unbitten crook of his neck, whimpering slightly as the light does its job, and you whisper back, “Together.”

Jake wraps his other arm around you and holds you close, silently vowing to never let go again.

The last thing he sees before his world slips away is the strangely beautiful swirl of particles of your two disintegrating bodies intermingling in the beam of sunlight. 

Taglist: @ohtobeleah, @green-socks, @lorecraft, @heart-0n-fire, @mayhem24-7forever,

@blue-aconite, @the-untamed-soul, @inglourious-imagines, @airhogger, @piscesvancouverite,

@straightforwardly, @bonnieelizabethparker, @srry-itshockeyszn, @flyinlove, @fandomhopped,

@yjwnoot, @wanderdreamer, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @callsign-phoenix, @shanimallina87,

@forever-sleepy-sloth, @notroosterbradshaw, @dezthegeek, @blessupblessup, @cherrycola27,

@phoenix1389, @nicangelinee, @smells-like-perfect-senses, @boringusername3, @petlaufeyson,

@cycbaby, @footprintsinthesxnd, @fantasticcopeaglepasta, @writercole, @onebigfangirlworld,

@wkndwlff, @ravenmoore14, @clancycucumber230, @slightly-psycho-multifan, @kmc1989,

@deppresseddyslexic, @horneybeach1, @mandylove1000, @aczhang777, @lovelyy-moonlight

@winterassassin1804, @seresinhangmanjake, @seitmai

[itsawhumpsideblog]

The Safehouse, pt. 20

CW: for institutionalized slavery, mentions of abuse, treatment of people as things, broken bones and treatment of same

Advice from the Box Boy Liberation Movement:

Especially at first, rescuees see the world exclusively through the lens of their training. You will need to develop the habit of being extremely careful in your wording choices. Words like "good" or "better" are often misunderstood, because rescuees are accustomed to having these terms applied only to their behavior. Saying things like, "feel better" implies, in their understanding, that there is a correct way to feel and they have failed to achieve this standard. Instead, focus on speaking literally and clearly, using wording like, "I hope you're feeling well" or "We are giving you this medicine so that your body can heal."

It wasn't rough right away- certainly no more difficult than anyone's recovery from such a surgery would be. Mikey napped on the couch, his left arm in its cast sticking straight up in the air, while Angie and Tim began dinner. It was an excuse for them to speak privately under cover of the noise.

"We can get him through a couple of days," Tim said, "But he's going to need stronger painkillers than we can get over the counter and I have no idea where those are going to come from."

"We'll ask our contacts when we call tonight. We owe them a check-in about the surgery." Angie tried to sound confident, but she knew as well as Tim did that even their Network contacts could not work magic.

"Yeah, maybe they'll have some ideas." Tim sighed and went back to chopping vegetables. When they were done, he brushed them into the pan with unnecessary force and pushed them anxiously around.

"It'll be okay," Angie said, patting Tim's shoulder. "One way or another- he'll get through this. And we'll help."

"Sure, but-" Another sigh. "Being here was supposed to mean he won't suffer anymore."

"I know. I don't like it, either. But we're going to do our best. Only thing we can do."

Tim nodded and they finished the cooking in silence, saving their energy so that they could put on cheerful faces for the rescuees.

Nathan seemed to notice that something was wrong. He raised an eyebrow at Angie when she handed him his plate, but she just shook her head.

Later, she mouthed and he nodded and tried to even out his expression.

"Hey, buddy," he said gently, reaching over to rub Mikey's shoulder. "You want to eat? Angie's got dinner for you- she'll help you, or I can if you want."

Mikey surfaced from the kind of deep, dreamless sleep that could have been either the last of the anesthesia wearing off or the beginning of the deep exhaustion that meant his body was trying to heal. He took a deep breath, pulling air down into his lungs, and tried to remember what had happened.

His hands looked funny. One of them was wrapped in something hard and blue- a cast. Mikey turned his head very slowly and traced it along his arm and up to his shoulder, where it seemed to stop. When he tried to wiggle his fingers, they didn't want to move. The other hand was wrapped up in bandages that looked like a mitten, except for his fingers peeping out the top. He held this arm up closer to his eyes, inspecting it. He tried to turn it, to look at the palm, but hot pain shot up his arm and he lowered it back to his abdomen, cradling the arm, and tried to rock back and forth to soothe his racing mind, if not the pain in his hand. Sometimes the rocking helped him calm down when he wanted to cry. Master didn't like it when he cried.

Had he been crying? Was that why he was being punished like this? Maybe he had done something Master had said not to and that was why his hands had to be hurt and bound up, so that he couldn't do it again. Maybe Master had to hurt his hands to teach him this lesson. He tried to remember what the lesson was, so he could be better next time and Master wouldn't have to hurt him.

Mikey's lip was trembling and Nathan reached out again, gently rubbing the good shoulder.

"Hey buddy," he said again, "You're okay. You're just waking up. It's fine."

Mikey knew that voice. That was the indoor pet, who was kind to him. He could trust that voice, and it was telling him that he was safe. He blinked his eyes and the room faded into view. There was Nathan, smiling at him in a worried sort of way. And Mistress, holding a plate with steam rising from it. He sighed in relief.

"That's better," Mistress was saying in a cheerful voice. Her voice was always like that. She was kind. She had put a belt on him in the car, but she had worn one, too, as if they weren't so different.

"Now, I know you might not be too hungry yet, but if you can, try to eat at least a little. Your body needs the energy so you can start to get well," Angie explained. Mikey nodded a little vaguely and opened his mouth, looking rather like a baby bird. Angie fed him and nodded reassuringly at Nathan, who sighed in relief and turned to his own meal.

Across the room, Tim had helped Francis sit up and prop himself against the side of the couch. He blinked sleepily and stared at his meal for a few moments before reaching slowly for the fork and beginning to eat, one small bite at a time. Francis didn't need help with the act of eating, but Tim stayed by him for encouragement. Francis made it halfway through the meal before he set his fork down wearily and closed his eyes, curling up into the couch.

Tim performed the usual cursory check of Francis' forehead and smoothed his hair.

"It's been a long day, hasn't it?" he said. Because it would have required him to express an opinion, Francis didn't answer. "All that worrying about Mikey was rough on you," Tim went on. "I think it'll be early to bed for everyone tonight. Me included."

Francis felt that some response was required and he nodded wordlessly.

"What time is it?" Tim asked.

"Almost 8," Angie replied. "But as early as we were up, I don't think I'll have any trouble sleeping." She caught Tim's eye and gestured to Nathan with a questioning look. Tim nodded.

"Why don't we go ahead and put these two to bed?" he suggested and Nathan could hear in his tone that Angie's "later" was probably imminent. "Then we'll come back and help you," Tim added. Nathan's palms started to sweat. He hoped Francis and Mikey didn't notice this change in routine that clearly signaled they were being left out of something.

But they seemed not to and perhaps that was not surprising. Francis seemed limp in Tim's arms as he was scooped off the couch and when Tim came back to help Angie get Mikey upstairs, Mikey was staring tiredly into the middle distance and swaying as they helped him walk.

Nathan could hear footsteps above his head and the murmuring of voices that were just slightly too far away to make out the words. The light in the front hallway dimmed as two sets of footsteps came down the stairs and turned off the light in the upstairs hallway, and finally Angie and Tim sat down on the couches.

"What a day," Angie said to nobody in particular. Nathan had noticed that they were a little different when Francis and Mikey weren't around. They were less careful in their speech and... he searched for a way to characterize their behavior. It was less determinedly cheerful, perhaps. Not less kind- the kindness seemed to be completely genuine- but there was less intention behind their smiles. They even complained sometimes, or bickered companionably. Tim had once told Nathan that they had never met before coming to the safehouse, but it was clear that the two of them had become fast and true friends.

"What's going on?" Nathan asked, looking from one of them to the other.

"Everything's going to be okay," Tim said, which wasn't an answer and also wasn't terribly comforting.

"But?" Nathan prompted him.

"The hospital didn't give Mikey enough pain medication," Angie said bluntly. "Not on purpose- they can't take more than a certain amount before they'll get caught. But the upshot is, he won't have enough."

"I'm going to try to get some more," Tim put in. "We have to call our contacts tonight and check in, so I can ask. But even if they can get it for us, it's not going to be right away."

"Shit."

"Yeah," Angie agreed. "It's gonna be shit."

"Poor Mike," Nathan said. He remembered how his leg had felt, before they had gotten him to the doctor, when he was en route for delivery and there had been a speed bump, or rumble strips. He winced just thinking about it and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"There's not much to do," Tim went on. "Except figure out how to ration it and do everything we can to get him some more. I think... we should probably prioritize nighttime, so he can get some sleep. If we have to, we could go light on it in the mornings and just give him a ton of over-the-counter meds. Then the prescription stuff to get him settled down for at least one good meal and sleep."

"But first we're making that phone call," Angie said.

"Sure. Maybe they'll be able to help."

"Anything I can do?" Nathan asked.

"Not really." Tim shook his head. Angie added, "I just thought you should know. Since you guys are so close."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"We're going to try. I don't know if he'll understand," her voice faltered slightly. "Or if he'll be able to believe us. But he should know, I guess. He has the right to."

"Agreed." Tim didn't sound any happier about it.

"He'll probably think he's being punished," Nathan said gloomily. Tim and Angie just nodded and Nathan sighed. "Well, I'll try to help you explain it to him, if I can. Thanks for letting me know."

Next Time: A very difficult day for the whole house.

Master List

Notes: Shortish, but I've missed writing this.

Tag list: @pigeonwhumps, @cepheusgalaxy, @i-eat-worlds

@honeycollectswhump @taterswhump, @starfields08000

@whumpsday, @fruitypinapple00, @currentlyinthesprial

[castingspellsanddaisies]

Jude Bellingham & Laura Celia | Tarot Reading

DISCLAIMER: Take everything with a grain of salt and have fun!

What truly happened between them?

9 of swords reversed + ace of cups reversed + 8 of cups reversed + king of wands + page of wands + king of swords reversed | back of the deck: 7 of swords (and the devil omg!!!)

This was a rocky situation for both of them, but more for her. I see Jude here acting like a perfect fuckboy with Laura.

I see one person suffering disappointments with this relationship, but not being able to let go of it completely. Why? Because the other person was the one coming all the time with new promises, new ideas for them to spend some time together. The ''king of wands'' was the one acting without thinking of the consequences. There was a lot of confusing communication between these two. I see promises being made and promises being broken. They were not clear, not honest with each other.

Is she an e*cort?

7 of swords | back of the deck: king of pentacles

Fuck fuck fuck

It seems so. It seems so.

What was their relationship dynamic in the past?

Jude:

4 of wands + queen of swords + 7 of cups

Jude acted as if things were going stable with her, but they weren't. They were spending celebrations together, maybe even at home together, it doesn't matter, they were spending a lot of time together. But at the same time he was keeping her at arms length. He could be romantic and caring with her one moment and in the next he would be cold and distant. He could had even created these really strong boundaries but they were all an excuse to get advantage of her and their ''relationship''.

Laura:

justice + the tower reversed + king of swords reversed

I see Laura acting pretty fair with Jude at first, expecting a certain outcome that had been previously discussed and quite honest with him, even talking about things that she didn't agree about their ''relationship''. But nothing changed, so after the initial shock, I see that Laura began to act the same, treat him the same way that he was treating her. Though feeling resented over Jude, Laura still tried to make things work between them.

+ Did Laura sell news about her being Jude's girlfriend to the media?

moon + clover

Yes, either her, people who work for her. But she didn't want people to know it was her though.

+ How did Jude feel when the news started to come out?

7 of wands reversed + the hanged man + justice reversed

He was in disbelief that was actually happening to him. He did not like that at all. He felt she was being very unfair with him by leaking those news. And he chose not to address anything hoping it would pass fast.

What's happening between them in the present?

the chariot reversed + 6 of swords reversed + 2 of cups reversed + 4 of pentacles reversed + ace of pentacles reversed + queen of swords reversed | back of the deck: the devil reversed

Well well well

They're done with each other, but not really. I see they're both trying to end this for good (because they want to), but there's still attraction, there's still loose ends. And this is purely sexual, they know they have nothing more in common than sexual attraction (still a little bit of it).

They might try a more indirect contact the next time, not necessarily calling each other, but something more subtle just to get the other's attention. Both of them don't want to be the first to give in.

How Jude feels about Laura:

the empress + 7 of swords reversed + 7 of wands

I can't believe this man.

Jude still thinks Laura's very sexy, he's still very much sexually attracted to her. But he doesn't trust her, he's very defensive over approaching her. He feels like she has done some sneaky things against him and he kind of can't stand her, kind of wants to f*ck her again. He's yet to come into term of what he wants *sigh* It's like ''I can't stand her but she's so hot... She can't be trusted! Yeah... But she is so hot!''

How Laura feels about Jude:

7 of swords + the chariot + 3 of cups

O.M.G.

She has plans for him, for being with him, and they're working in her favour because she's pretty satisfied at the moment. I see Laura taking action to get his attention again. You know when people make it look like meeting you at a random place or situation was totally accidental? That's it. In fact, I see this happening right now.

Alright, that's it. These two stressed me enough for the day. I hope you enjoyed the reading, my beautiful folks! Take care <3

[princess-of-the-corner]

God I forgot about Qilin. Cool asfk akuma, arguably one of Gabes best designs, dragged down by the fucking ticket inspection and bringing in the goddamn army. (As well as how the episode felt like it was written avid ACAB Enthusiasts)

my problem with the episode is that it's a bit all over the place in a few spots like.

Firstly take this with a grain of salt because I'm white af

Okay. This is supposed to be an episode about racism and the cops being harder on minorities. But it doesn't.... come across that?

The ticket inspector was initially doing his job. Sabine didn't have a bus ticket. Yes it's because Mari got off the previous stop with the tickets, but if he handwaved everyone who said 'oh I totally bought a ticket but I lost it'.......

Now he does get unreasonable after that, accusing her of being hostile, having her arrested instead of just printing a ticket, etc. But this is also a show where the 'you seem to have broken a law so you immediately get arrested' is not out of place. (I mean sometimes it is BUT it's a 'what works for the story' thing). Doubly so as the target audience is children who sometimes do think 'oh god oh god I sneaked one extra candy they're gonna send a full swat team and arrest me and I'm gonna go to jail!!'.

Then you have the whole thing of literally all the cops showing up for one lady and then the Akuma and then the cops ignoring LB and CN in favor of blasting the Akuma with weaponry despite months of the Heroes handling this on their own. Which at first seems out of place until you remember episodes like Rogercop where all the cops weren't mind controlled they just went 'yeah I guess the obviously Akumatized(controlled by supervillain) cop in a mech suit is in charge because the mayor, who he kidnapped, said so. Time to arrest the Heroes!!". So while it hasn't happened in a while, cops just acting Like That™ aren't out of place in this world.

And like. The ticket inspector is a rando who is only seen here going against Sabine, but we have no idea how he'd act with a white guy breaking the same law. And Roger has been shown to be corrupt as hell toward white people(specifically the Couffaines who as far as we know are white). So it doesn't quite get the message across that this is out of the norm.

Then you have Marinette having to apologize to the ticket inspector who, at this point, is now much more reasonable of 'well she did technically break the law by riding the bus without ticket or ID, but given the circumstances we'll let it go' but Mari insists on paying the fine like he was in the right.

Honestly I feel like this episode suffers from not being direct about what the issue is. Yes it's implied that it's a racism thing, yes most of the audience including the kids will probably pick it up. But when you give that much wiggle room on 'what is motivating this character's actions', then combine it both with stuff that's /supposed/ to be extreme but is par for the course in the series and the protagonist apologizing to the guy who instigated all of this.... it gets very mixed and it can get lost and make people who do see the allegories wonder if they're just reading too much into things.

And I don't know exactly where to place the blame on. Did the writers pull back to try and make the situation more 'relatable to everyone' thus making it relate to no one? Was it a bigger thing of the studio or S&P saying 'hey you can't depict real racism in a kids' show'?

I mean either way there's some blame on the writers for the other flaws like Mari apologizing and undercutting anything the ticket inspector did wrong. But still.

[mabelsguidetolife]

tumblr users are all “i love feral women!!!!” and then this happens

you are all fandom trash

[aeolianblues]

it is literally not about legality, if you’re in your late 30s literally what are you hitting up 21 y/os for. Don’t you have investments to make.

[cerealbishh]

"I can't leave, Maria."

"... I understand."

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

[rigaudon]

I am holding myself together by a fucking thread and I just want it to break so i can get a break.

[nostalgia-tblr]

Today I wrote about 900 words \o/ But only 100 of those were in the thing I wanted to add words to :( And most of them are in the wrong chapter. :( :(

[mintytrifecta]

Thinking about my pookie bear Lenore and how deeply she needs a hug <33