#she doesnt mean it though

[neighbourhoodspidey]

i'm not jealous.

minors and ageless blogs dni

gn reader and adult shauna 

a/n: finally writing about my favourite girl who can do no harm with her brown eyes. i still have so many wips to get passed but this was one of them and i’m proud of myself i can pat myself on the back for that.  i’m not sure when the others’ll get out cause life and college can get in the way. thank you and enjoy reading letsgooo

w/c: 2.6k ish (i just realised that i did all the previous word counts wrong. idek at this point)

warnings: mentions of violence, knife usage, jealousy, suggestive themes, making-out, nudity, shauna being shauna, gay yellowjackets agenda, proofread but there might be mistakes left, i think that’s it? let me know if i missed anything!!

it starts under the cut 🤠

You were laughing at some ridiculous joke for what seemed to be the fifth time, if she counted correctly. And even though you couldn’t see her, she wished she could burn a hole into the person making you laugh for you to notice. If only they knew how she could slice them. And it didn’t help that she felt the urge to press on the car’s honk, not caring about public decency or your conversation. You were supposed to say goodbye, right? So why was this person on your heels like a desperate stray cat begging for attention?

As you were about to leave the person holds your arm, telling you something about how you two should catch up one of these days? She doesn’t know, maybe she imagined it. Or maybe she’s close to the truth because you are nodding and finally walking away, not without politely waving and smiling. She forces a grin at them as they have the nerve to make eye-contact with her. Honestly, what’s not stopping her from stepping on the gas to drive straight over them? The thought still lingers in her mind as you drive away from the party.

“Sorry I took so long. Dean’s kind of a talker.” You chuckle dryly. Clearly you don’t like this …Dean? That’s masculine sounding. She was so caught up in dragging this “Dean” to the forest rather than who exactly was talking to you. It wouldn’t have made a difference anyway because she would still sli–

“Shauna? Are you alright?” Taking notice of her strong iron grip on the steering wheel, your hands find her thigh, tracing gentle patterns on her skin. The concern in your voice and your touch makes her take a deep breath. Right. Calm down. Ease off. She doesn’t want to scare you away. So far she has managed to be normal with you, even though in her opinion normal is a general word with no true specific meaning.

“I’m alright. It’s just…you know how I get after social gatherings.” It’s not the truth. But it’s not exactly a lie either. In any case you don’t question it. To her relief you don’t move your hand away from her. She does need reassurance. The reassurance that you’re here to stay, and not leave or worse, run away with someone else and not even hiding it.

“When we get home it’ll just be us. I’ll turn my phone off and hold you in my arms all night. Unless you want personal space?”

“I…” Personal space is the last thing she needs right now. The moment she’s trying to find a way to formulate her words, your phone rings. She’s glad not to be the only confused one. She watches from the corner of her eyes as you quickly cast a look at your phone before silencing it.

“Some friends missing you?” That was her best attempt at a playful joke. She’s not sure how much she can control how pissed she is. And it’s not even your fault. It’s normal that coworkers text each other and laugh, right? Every colleague needs to have somewhat of a relationship in order to work properly together.

“Just Dean telling me how he’s dreading a hangover.” You just read the text but don’t bother answering it. Some part of her feels grateful that you stayed true to your words.

“Hm.” Is all she offers as a reply. You quickly catch on to it, nervously scanning her features. Her lips in a straight line, her face eerily cool. What was it that you did? Or was it something you said? Or was it something you didn’t do and said– “He seems friendly.” Too friendly. He was talking to you practically all night, even had the nerve to say that he was offended that you presented Shauna to everyone else but him. Maybe because you don’t consider him as a friend, which does help alleviate her boiling anger to a minimum.

“Yeah, we’ve been working together for five years. I told you about him and his wife divorcing? He was in a bad slump. I told him that I was going through the same thing with my ex boyfriend and he made up this silly ‘coworkers who got broken up with duo’ joke. Of course we got disbanded after I met you.” 

“And he’s a comedian, what’s not to like?” 

“Huh?”

Your fingers pauses, slightly lifting over her skin. Damn it she meant to save that thought herself, not– “I mean, he is good-looking, charming and funny. You know each other and have some history. That’s practically a rom-com.” She didn’t know why she couldn’t put a stop to her words. Even if she’s masking it under a laugh. 

You try to laugh along, hoping that it would hold down the rising awkward atmosphere. 

“Well he didn’t end up marrying me.”

“Thank God he did not.” 

You probably should have kept quiet because now she’s speeding up a little. You wonder if it’s because she’s overwhelmed from having socialised all evening. There were a lot of people, and lots of noise. Naturally so, you don’t hold it against her. You remove your hand, scared she might somehow magically cut it off. Almost on instinct she misses your warmth, the comfort it provided her.

“Yeah. Not that I ever gave it any thought.” 

“You didn't? You know it’s okay if you did. We all thought of marrying our friends before.” Shauna really didn’t mean it, knowing how you don’t like when people take on a patronising tone, but it’s stronger than her. At least she was self-conscious about it.

“He was too good as a friend for me to imagine it.” You shake your head at the thought. Again, you’re not pissed at her for being overwhelmed. All you can do is rationalise and communicate. “And us together? Shauna, I don’t even want to see what that would be like.”

“He’s got everything…”

She’s not joking anymore. The grip on the steering wheel gets strong again and for a moment you wonder if she's capable of breaking it off.

“He’s not you.” Okay. That was maybe the most cliché thing you have ever uttered to anyone before but you did need to knock a little bit of sense over her because this was getting ridiculous. Out of all the typical couple stuff you’ve been though, jealousy wasn’t one of them and this was seriously getting…wait.

The realisation hits you once, then when it hits you twice, you feel you were punched to the gut. Shauna Shipman was jealous. Truth be told it’s a terrifying and hot look on her. Still, you dare ask the question, clearing your throat and mentally gathering all the courage in every cell of your body.

“Are you jealous?” It was a simple question. But it was enough to make her speed up a little. 

“I am so not jealous of someone who’s only sense of humour is facial expressions and laughing loudly.”

That was not enough to convince you. It was a nice attempt, however.

“You shouldn’t be.”

“Good thing I’m not.”

“Shauna, look…you’re acting…weird. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll try to fix it–”

“Nothing’s wrong. Let’s just listen to the music.” She makes a move to turn up the volume but you gently bat her hands away. She lets out an undignified sound. An angry Shauna was not something you wanted to see tonight but you can only handle so much. Now you know it wasn’t a social gathering. It was one person. Dean…whatever his last name was. 

For a few seconds not a single sound was uttered between you, the radio being used as a replacement for your usual conversations and small talks. It’s not even the comfortable kind of silence but rather the “what did I do wrong, should I ask her?” kind of silence.

She pulls over into your driveway and waits for you to leave the car. She’s waiting for you. That must be a good sign.

You walk the steps of your door, into the house. She goes straight for your bedroom. You look at the couch, hoping that’s not where you’ll end up. Walking up the stairs feels like an execution all of a sudden. 

Shauna’s in the dressing room, frustratingly trying to pull her dress off. The image of Drew, Dale, was still planted in her mind. His hands around you, you smiling at him, him leaning it to–

“Do you need help with that?” She should be pissed. But the way you asked the question so gently, how your eyes look into hers makes her forget about everything.

“I suppose.” 

You bite back a laugh, pushing yourself off the doorway to her. You gesture for her to turn around. She’s wearing the prettiest outfit ever. It’s so her that it nearly makes your heart escape out of your chest. How can she even think, or joke that you’d be with anyone else other than her, when she’s the only one that can make you feel so pathetically in love?

“You need any help?” She jokes in that sarcastic voice that you grew to love. That’s another thing about her that makes you feel alive, weirdly enough.

“I got it.” Your hands find the zipper, slowly revealing every inch of her skin. You have to hold yourself back from following its path with kisses. “You’re so beautiful.” You airly whisper instead. And it’s so reverent. Like she’s the only one. Which on a technicality is true. You were the only ones at home. But it felt deeper than that. Like she was the only one you’d ever want to see.

“Thank you.” The dress pools at her feet. You help her step out of it and try to choke back a groan as she turns around to face you. No matter how many times you’ve seen her in her underwear, it still felt new. 

“I mean it.” You had to mentally rehearse before speaking again. You wanted nothing more but to hold her. “You’re beautiful, gorgeous, incredibly smart and so, so…” Taking a step towards her, your eyes flit between hers. They’re so brown you feel they could drown you, but even then, you think you’d accept whatever fate they’ll give you. 

Her breath hitches as she feels your stare on her. Where other times she’d feel bold, she found herself…unsure.

“You’re just saying that.” The flush taking appearance on her neck all the way to her face gives her away. It does not stop you from taking another step, bravely so.

“And so, so, ridiculous.” Your hands find her hips, making her shiver from how cold they are. “I love how brutally honest you are. How your pride gets in the way of your reasoning…”

“I’m not prideful.” The protest is merely a whisper. More like a defeat? No, she was supposed to be angry. Angry at Damian for obviously trying to overstep.

“And how you have trouble admitting things, but that’s okay. Because I will always prove whatever truth you need in any way that you want me to.”

What truth did she need? She couldn’t even tell herself, not with the way your eyes were all over her. It felt like she could feel them, putting a stop to everything she thought of before this…what this was. You don’t sound mad, pleading or exaggerated. It felt like it was something more than that. Your hands don’t leave her body as they slide up her sides, momentarily tracing her collarbones, her neck, her cheek. You love how you can feel the heat of her body, love how it can nearly burn you down, how she follows your every movement. She wants more, expects you to do more.

“You know I don’t care about him, right?” Your hands find the straps of her bra, lightly playing with them. “And if ever he oversteps, I’ll let him know. I promise you that.”

“For f…I’m not jealous.”

“You’re going to need more than that to convince me.” Though the way her voice takes on a husky note could fool you any other day. 

“What, do I need to paint you a picture? I’m not…” Your hands let go of her yet again. This time she reaches for them but you easily avoid her.

“I don’t think it’s going to work like that.”

She wishes she could kiss that smirk off your face. You were rarely smug, if not ever. This only seemed to aggravate her furthermore. “Can you stop being so…”

“So?” While waiting for her to get her words together instead of gesturing to you, you strip yourself from your clothes. Slowly. 

“Unfair. You’re being unfair and it’s driving me crazy.”

 “I think I’m being rightful.” The last piece of your clothing falls to the ground but you’re quick enough to move past her to get some comfortable clothes. “But you are towards the right path of honesty.”

The hell’s that even supposed to mean? She’s still angry, and a little dazed to even think correctly. But as you turn around to get dressed she grabs your clothes, much to your undignified expression.

“Fine.” The word leaves a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. She hopes you won’t make her say it again. 

“What was that?” 

“You…are…”

“Flattery’s going to get you nowhere, Shipman.”

“I said you were right. I was…a little bit jealous. But only because you never laugh like that with me.”

You stop all pleasantries, wanting to hold her in your arms, reassure her. Why would she think that?

“You never laugh like that around me.”

“Shauna…” This time, you gravitate to her, holding her close to you. She sighs at the contact, pulling you impossibly closer. “If only you could hear the way I laugh whenever I remember your jokes. That’s nothing to the way I was laughing with him, darling.” You’re glad she doesn’t push you away or deny anything this time. “Shauna, you’re everything to me. A better comedian, the best partner…” 

She lifts her head from the space of your neck to meet your eyes. They were playful, bright, but earnest. Your eyes flit between hers and her lips, tentatively leaning in to capture them in yours.

“I love you, Shauna. There’s no one else I’d ever want to imagine being with. I’ve got you and only you.” Your lips move against hers as you speak and it’s near enough to drive her crazy. 

“I…love you too.” She breathes out, sighing deeply when you close the little distance between you. It’s firm, passionate and yet so sweet. Your hands paw wherever you can touvh her, wanting to show her how much you mean your words.

“You’re the only one I want.” Your lips leaves hers, trailing down to her neck, softly dragging your teeth. Her fingers dig into your scalp, holding you where she wants to. “I’m not going anywhere, ever.” You leave marks on her collarbone, loving when she curses, begs. You need to prove to her how truthful you’re being. Your lips find hers again, swallowing down every needy sounds from her, your tongue playfully flicking against her lips when you pull away. Your breathing is ragged, your abdomen swirling with desire. You needed her, now.

“Show me.” Her eyes darkened at the sight of your swollen lips. Before she could even think of it you kiss her again, slowing down the rhythm and leading her out of the dressing room, guiding her all the way to the bedroom.

“I will.”

[crustyfloor]

This parallel this parallel this parallel, it's cute how surprised Sua looks when people are affectionate with her, but I wonder if Ivan ever reminded Sua of her sister at times with the way he treated her, sometimes being reminiscent of how she used to be treated by her sister, and the cruelty was just as familiar(?)

[psychicpizzacat]

LETS GET CREATIVE! 💕🐰🎭

I like to think that while they're toxic, they're both weirdos in their own ways lol. Jax can use Gangle's ribbons for cats cradle, as long as Gangle can get her turn for drawing references!

[tea-cat-arts]

You know what, I've read enough fanfic. I'm confiscating Madame Yu from you guys

Free my girl- she did the things she's being accused of, but not as frequently or severely as the fandom pretends, her actions are being taken out of context, and her depth is being reduced to that of a Colleen Hoover antagonist

[tempestmothstorm]

pt 2 of memes that vaguely relate to the ambiguous nihilism theme essay and stuff except this one is a lot dumber

[sea-owl]

Lucy, one of the most well-adjusted of the friend group: When I am rich

*Points at Simon and Gareth*: You're getting therapy

*Points at Kate and Michael*: You're getting therapy

*Points at Sophie and Penelope*: You're getting therapy

*Points at Phillip*: You're getting DOUBLE therapy

Lucy: Everyone is healing!

[thesupernaturalhouse]

Vaggie: Alastor can you watch the eggs their being....eggs and I have to- just take them off my hands

Alastor: ooo i certainly will....

Vaggie:.....in a peaceful manner. Alastor.

Alastor: mmm well that's less fun, also why should I watch them?

Vaggie: well you're going to some meeting and I have to help charlie-

Alastor: didn't she excuse you from your duties for today?

Vaggie:...why would she- why would I ask for that??

Alastor: why, you have to come to this meeting to my dear!

Vaggie: no I dont?? It's an overlord meeting I'm not an overlord-

Alastor: but you are!

Vaggie: if anything charlie should probably be going with you rather then me- what what??

Alastor: I'll explain on the way! *just fucking leaves*

Vaggie: wha- alastor! Alastor I swear to the lord you better explain!

Alastor: hmmm, well you're an overlord my dear I don't think there's anything else TO explain

Vaggie: right...but I'm NOT an overlord??

Alastor: I beg to differ, I knew there was something off about you but couldn't place it until Charlie said something

Vaggie: Charlie- what does- okay you know what? You're insane. I'm going to go talk to Charlie myself!

Alastor grabs her shirt collar like a kitten: ah-ah-ah you have a meeting to attend my dear! It's be bad manners if you skipped it, whoch I suppose you've been skipping them for the past 5 or so years?

Vaggie: No, I haven't! and let go of my you asshole!

Alastor: hmmm no I don't think I will~ come on now! We're already half way there!

Vaggie: ugh, at least tell me how you and xharlie think I'm an overlord- which I'm NOT by the way!

Alastor: well...do you remember that sinner you saved? The one you had a slat with and ended uo teaching self defense?

Vaggie: how do you-....ah, charlie- what does that have to do with anything??

Alastor radio noise of displeasure: well, APPARENTLY they told more demons, you DO remember the large influx of demons who came to you right?

Vaggie: I.....I um....yeah....

Alastor: well they said they owed you 'favors' correct?

Vaggie:....fuck.

Alastor: they gave you their souls until said favor is called upon! You not using it has apparently given you the reputation of a very lenient overlord, a defensive and protective one at that! So more people cane to you, you trianed them in defense and most gave you their souls so you could call upon them for a favor at a time of your choosing!

Vaggie: going through the 5 stages of grief trying to process it all

Alastor: On top of that, the other overlords seem to be threatened by the fact you have so many souls and demons going to you WILLINGLY, you not showing up to meetings and beong little morningstars girlfriend doesnt help that either!So this will be a fun first meeting~

Vaggie: no no no no no nope! Alastor, you let me go right this second! I am not- no! Alastor! Alastor!!!

Zestial: Alastor and...oh the defensive Overlord nice to meet you again nd to finally meet you

Vaggie: ¿¡Quién diablos es esta araña joder!? (Who the hell is this spider fuck!?)

Part 1 | Part 2(here!!) | Part 3

[elle-p]

Ouuggghhhhh......

[mariatesstruther]

okay but sarah celebrating tommy every year for mother’s day

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i feel like a big important part of having media literacy is understanding that theres a difference between liking or hating a character as a person and liking or hating a character as a character

i just feel like people confuse the two a lot, and it sparks really weird conversations like "i love kusuke" "?? thats so fucking weird hes a bad person" and "i hate kusuke so much for hurting kusuo" "but hes such a well-written character!"

you can hate a character as a person and love them as a character and love how theyre written, you can also not like a characters actions but sympathize with them as a person, this is what most people do with popular antagonist characters 🤷🏻‍♀️ its also what was INTENDED when characters like this are written, youre SUPPOSED to understand the character, maybe sympathize with them, but still be able to judge their actions and morality. its also okay if YOU dont like the way a character is written but understand that they exist for a reason and youre most likely biased when you talk about them and the parts of the story theyre involved in

[nyctoheart]

i need to stop seeing that recent "do kh characters swear" post bc I disagree with so much of it hdkdhjff

[sha-brytols]

DAV does tackle the struggles of minorities though? There's literally an entire companion quest about being trans/nonbinary.

ok so in the nicest way possible i have never seen a more tellingly privileged take in my entire life

[learningfromlosing]

You know why I don't ship Melissa and Shauna?

Bc you're allowed to rescind consent when you don't enjoy it anymore. Period.

You know why I don't think any of the arguments about her still being in love with Shauna matter?

Bc shes allowed to not have something in her life if she knows it's bad for her even if she "wants" it.

You know why I don't think Melissa is lying about getting better and putting it behind her?

She healed in creative and different ways bc she was still holding up her end of keeping the secret. She knows what's important to the group, respected that, and she still found ways to help herself too. She found someone to talk through some of things she couldn't by herself with. She found other resources even if she couldn't get a real therapist. She reached out for help in the only ways she could.

You don't need to erase things to be able to live with them in a healthy way. You don't need to talk about everything with everyone else to be able to move past it.

She isn't a different person bc she didn't tell them her birth name. Do I really need to explain why not using your birth name doesn't make your life any less valid?

Not glorifying your trauma doesn't mean you're ignoring it. Not talking about your trauma with everyone doesn't mean you're not actively working though it.

She questions herself constantly. That's what it's like to heal. It's never gone, but you can side step the spiraling if you're mindful enough. "This isn't some kind of survivors guilt or pity marriage, or shit maybe it is."

And faking your death to get away from your violently abusive ex girlfriend doesn't mean you still love her. I would actually argue the opposite.

[everlarking-always]

“I had a dream, though,” I say, thinking back. “I was following a mockingjay through the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice.” “Where did she take you?” he says, brushing my hair off my forehead. “I don’t know. We never arrived.” I say. “But I felt happy.” ... Peeta pulls the chain with the gold disk from around his neck. He holds it in the moonlight so I can clearly see the mockingjay. Then his thumb slides along a catch I didn’t notice before and the disc pops open. It’s not solid, as I had thought, but a locket. And within the locket are photos. […] “Your family needs you, Katniss,” Peeta says. My family. My mother. My sister. And my pretend cousin Gale. But Peeta’s intention is clear. That Gale really is my family, or will be one day, if I live. That I’ll marry him. So Peeta’s giving me his life and Gale at the same time. To let me know I shouldn’t ever have doubts about it. Everything. That’s what Peeta wants me to take from him. ... He puts the chain with the locket around my neck, then rests his hand over the spot where our baby would be. “You’re going to make a great mother, you know,” he says. ... As I drift off, I try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no Games, no Captiol. A place like the meadow in the song I sang to Rue as she died. Where Peeta’s child could be safe. ....

[redeemed-wren]

I'm hoping episode 3 let's Ruby see the dark side of the Doctor. I feel that adds a very important dynamic to a Doctor-companion relationship, when they see how dark he can be and still choose to travel with him early on.

Rose watching Nine drag Cassandra back to die. Eleven yelling at Amy "Nobody human has anything to say to me today!" Donna begging Ten to stop drowning the spider babies, and then again to go back and save someone in Pompeii.

Fifteen has been FUN and I know he can do emotional range, I've seen his fear and his tears already. But I want to see him dark, and I want to see Ruby respond to that. I think it would add a LOT of depth to their relationship and is something missing.

Plus showcasing the Doctor's flaws (selfishness) will make him a much more interesting character. I want to see some conflict between the Doctor and Ruby.

[starbiology]

i feel bad realizing how much i post Basil and Onion but not Newt, but its only because shes very polite and doesnt interrupt me drawing.

So here is my sweet girl: