#she doesn't understand ppl being nice just because they're nice

[caretkr]

his  answer  is  all  the  confirmation  she  needs  to  hear.      ⸻      broke  or  not?  fiona  would  find  the  money  for  this.  carl  needed  it.  she’d  fucked  up  those  kids  enough  without  risking  one  being  permanently  injured.  he  had  too  big  a  future  ahead  of  him.  ＂  he’s  tryna  get  into  military  school.  he  needs  his  leg.  ＂  it’s  difficult  to  determine  whether  she’s  speaking  to  the  doctor  this  time  or  herself;    a  quiet  argument  with  her  own  self  -  doubt  because  she  KNOWS  they’re  going  to  struggle  if  they  do  this.  making  decisions  for  an  entire  family  wasn’t  easy.  the  pressure  weighed  down  on  her  especially  heavy  in  moments  like  these,  but  somebody  had  to.  it  wasn’t  as  if  frank  or  monica  ever  had  any  intention  of  stepping  up.  legs  shift  apart  enough  for  her  to  rest  elbows  on  knees,  head  ducking  down  with  another  shaky  sigh.

fiona  barely  notices  link  takes  a  seat  beside  her  until  he’s  speaking  again,  tired  gaze  turning  to  him.  she’s  almost  thankful  for  the  reminder.  his  presence  temporarily  stops  her  from  descending  into  unkind  thoughts.  however,  it  doesn’t  take  long  for  gratitude  to  twist  in  something  else  though.  something  uglier.  pride.  ＂  i  don’t  need  your  charity.  ＂  yes,  she  does.  brows  knit  tight  together  and  it’s  obvious  she  doesn’t  trust  the  offer.  nobody  ever  did  shit  out  the  kindness  of  their  hearts.  not  in  her  experience.  financial  debt,  the  woman  could  handle.  debt  to  another  person,  that  was  different.  they  always  wanted  something  in  return  in  the  end  and  if  they  didn’t,  what  else  would  it  cost  her?  she  couldn’t  risk  another  dcfs  referral.  ＂  i  can  take  care  of  these  kids.  i  just    …    need  time.  is  there  some  kinda  payment  plan  we  can  follow?  ＂  sure,  it  would  probably  take  her  whole  life    (    and  then  some    )    to  finalise,  but  that  was  better  than  nothing.  better  than  a  hand  -  out. 

he nods slowly , feeling the guilt rising within him . " your brother needs this surgery or his leg might not be the same ever again . " this was one of the few parts that link hated about the job . he shouldn't have to be forced to watch a family struggle with the decision on if getting proper health care is something they could manage or not , because it should be affordable for everyone . not just those who had the money to throw into it without a care in the world . he's one of the lucky ones in his line of work , this isn't a decision he'd ever have to make . but he also knows that he was once a kid who also needed important medical treatment , and if it weren't for his team of doctors , he wouldn't be here right now saving lives . albeit , the situations were different ; his was life saving and carl's was if his leg would ever be the same again . that difference , however , wasn't something that mattered to the orthopedic surgeon .

link's not sure he knows what to do here . he knows in his gut what's right and what's wrong in the situation , but neither way seem to have the picture perfect outcome he's hoping for . he couldn't , in good conscience , allow a family to go home even more broke than when they'd come in . that was the bottom line . " look . . . " he finally speaks up after some time , voice low as he moves to sit next to fiona in one of the waiting room chairs . " sign the consent forms . let me do the surgery . don't you go worrying about the money . this one's on me . "

[cemeteryvalentine]

astro observations part 4 !!! ^____^

(specifically based off my family :3 pleaseee don't get offended at anything that doesn't resonate)

🗝️: one thing about a sag placement, they are gonna hang up FIRST !!! i swear, if anyone misses flip phones, it's a sag placement/dominant. i just know they miss snapping that phone shut in a petty manner LOL. my mom is a sag moon AND rising, and she'd call me and demand me to do something in such a bitchy tone and then hang up on me like girl who tf do u think u areee 😭😭😭😭 LMFAO. but honestly good for her, i love being petty like her.

like i swear i take after my mom because everytime she does that annoying hang up before i can respond thing, i call her again just to say a snarky remark, and hang up on her back!

🐇: i swear, virgo placements have no problem being the grossest people alive, but suddenly it's a problem when someone else does it :/// it's really annoying. my brother has a pigsty of a bedroom, doesn't wash his hand when he pisses unless i make him, and leaves his trash everywhere, but constantly gets on my sister for the same things 😭. like the calls coming from inside the house !!! i think basically, (some) virgos are like picky(?) with what areas they'd want clean. like they're only really comfortable with THEIR mess and no one else's.

🗝️: i love how pisces mercury communicate because it's like what the hel are u awn about 😭 in the NICEST way though :3 they're so kewl and interesting to talk to, plus they're so nice and understanding. maybe because they're water mercuries after all. speaking of, my favorite artist ever kurt cobain was a pisces mercury and it SHOWSSS. a lot of nirvana lyrics feel artistic and metaphoric, or just realllyyyy silly. liiike "angel left wing, right wing, broken wing. lack of iron and or sleeping" from milk it, one of my nirvana faves. and "i vomit C*M and DIARRHEA". like girl whatever that means !!!! (song, mexican seafood)

🐇: mars influence on the asc makes for prominent features. especially eyebrows. my brother has an aries rising and he has such a bad case of RBF. i swear he never looks happy 😭 his virgo sun and cap moon definitely don't help at all either. then im a mars rising and i have big eyebrows like my brother. like we're the only ones with big eyebrows, while our parents brows look invisible LOL. also i'm a virgo rising !! and ppl are always saying i look mad which honestly pisses me off :P so in conclusion, mars influence + virgo placements = major rbf

🗝️: i HATE to add on to the cancer hate train since i'm one myself and i loveee being one + we get soo much hate, but i feel a (unevolvled) cancer makes for the worst pick me girl ever !!!! this def doesn't apply to all cancers, but the few cancer women i know can be so mean to other women so unprovoked. especially my mom, it gives me the ick when she calls random women b*tches or makes fun of them to me for their features or success or soemthing. i used to be a pick me too up until i was like 13 (im soooo happy i grew out of that mess QUICK!). i would constantly strive for male attention, it was embarrassing 😭. ik another girl who values her shitty boyfriend over her (girl) friends and i haaate it. like ive only known a few cancer women, but a lot of them are like the meanest pick me bitch ever, or such a sweeet, caring soul :). i feel like being a pick me stems from cancers being feminine AND traditional. yk? i pray i make sense, but yk how it's traditional for girls to be perfect for her man, and value him no matter the circumstance ?? and cancer/moon being **traditional** ? yeahhh 😭

anywayzzz that's all :3 tyyy for reading !! i had sm making a new observations, considering it's been a year since my last LMFAOO. and again, if it doesn't apply, let it fly. ty bye ^__^

[pebbles-scatter]

ok. biting the bullet. doing a roger doofenshmirtz "analysis" (visions that come to me in my dreams) bc like 3 ppl liked the idea. i should preface and say this is a kids show so my "analysis" is literally me turning breadcrumbs into a cake. it's more about how i immediately read into these things during my watch. if you dont like it, don't tell me, i'll cry.

i'll start with one statement that describes roger to me: i believe he is a person that lacks the ability to form deep, long-lasting relationships and can only use his charm and skills (something he developed so to stay on the good side of his mother) to make people who don't truly know him like him. no matter how well-meaning he may or may not be, he is self-centered and self-serving in many of his actions.

his characterization is too inconsistent to say if he's well-meaning but a bit clueless in his relationship w Heinz or more malicious. i try to find a nice middle ground here but full disclosure i am more fond of him being well-meaning that still looks down on Heinz a bit. (i find this more compelling than the comically evilness of how Heinz's parents treat him.)

i am of the opinion that being the golden child of the Doofenshmirtz family can only bring you so far- they're terrible parents all around and i highly doubt Roger got out of there unscathed. Also- and this is important to say- golden children are abuse victims too. (also, like all things in psychology, these terms are messy at best and inaccurate at worst. while the SG/GC dynamic w/ Roger & Heinz is more stereotypical, it's important to note these things can not be so succinctly summed up in a simple label.) (also i'm coming at this from an outsider pov- my family is messed up in different ways.)

i will be using their parents as vehicles to examine roger

i feel like my best jumping off point will be their mother: Mama Doofenshmirtz.

i think, besides failing Heinz as a mother, i do not think she has helped Roger succeed in life. y'know. a key part of being a parent.

my answer to "Wdym" is this: Roger, to me, has no close, intimate ties. I don't think him not having a wife and child are very good examples- not everyone wants those things- but how we see him interact with people throughout the show is where i think the best example lies. All his relationships are surface level- the only person we see him with multiple times is his secretary, and i hope i don't have to explain why that's sad. he's popular and attractice and blah blah blah but like??? he's never around...friends. or anyone. you'd think with how Successful he is you'd think he'd be surrounded by more people that sycophants and employees.

[you're about to witness me trying my best not to project my own experience with emotional incest on Roger] i do not think Roger & Mama Doofenshmirtz is healthy because of this. coddling your child and allowing him to get away with shit (writing his name on everything) is not how you develop your child into a healthy adult.

also, similarly to seeing domestic abuse between parents, i think seeing your sibling being horrifically abused will FUCK YOU UP. and i wonder how much of Roger's perfectionism is him trying to ensure he does not end up like Heinz in his mothers eyes. Not to say I don't think Roger loves his mother- but I wonder how much of that love is born out of fear? If you were Roger, wouldn't you do anything to not be literally made HOMELESS in another country before 18?

Also, I think how Roger views Heinz is through his relationship with their mother- if Heinz would just shape up, this wouldn't be happening to him. He doesn't understand that their mother is and has been awful to Heinz for their WHOLE LIVES (or refuses to understand, because to understand is to acknowledge a lot of negative shit about his own childhood and that their mother may not be a good person)

onto the other parent: Papa Doofenshmirtz.

I am of the FIRM, UNSHAKEABLE belief that Only Son was Post-Roger's birth. That is important for this analysis!

Anyways, something I noticed is that when it comes to Roger and their parents Roger is never called their father's favorite. It's always their mother. Part of me wonders if this is more indicative of the writers' view on parental relationships and mothers (even though they do seem to value father-son relationships?), but this isn't a English essay or NYT opinion piece so let's push that aside for a moment.

Roger's relationship with their mother seems to be the thing (along with her abuse of Heinz, but I feel as though that goes without saying) that drives the biggest wedge between them. And I will get to that. But there's never any mention of Roger and Papa Doofenshmirtz's relationship- there is one moment where we see him praise Roger! But he seems to be absent for the most part, only being a cruel, hostile father figure in Heinz's stories.

This has led me to believe that I do not think Papa Doofenshmirtz likes either of his children- at least, not as children. Based on how he acts in Father's Day, his interaction with Heinz is almost friendly. Polite. But more like how you would treat an acquaintance, not your son.

he praises Roger, yes, but once he realizes the gift Heinz was trying to give him, he DOES appreciate it. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR WHO HE IS. this is more to show that i think his relationship with his children change as they come of age. he does not like them as children but as adults, he thinks they are easier to get along with. this isn't just me speaking out my ass- it's not uncommon for abusive parents to do this. it's harder to wield your power over someone who is no longer dependent on you.

just straight up HC time: i think Mama Doofenshmirtz shielded Roger away from the worst of Papa Doofenshmirtz's abuse and ire. obviously, having to do this in the first place is fucked up compounded with the fact she only does this for one child.

maybe i'll add on more, but for now, i need to do my hw. ok. goodbye.

[puzzled-pegasus]

Annabeth Chase headcanons because I must have hallucinated doing this list months ago

She has major resting bitchface sometimes especially when shes thinkin really hard abt something or shes tired

She was really touch deprived for a super long time, especially before she got with Percy, so she tends to shy away from physical contact that's too sudden unless it's Percy, Chiron, or Piper (or thalia)

When she gets excited about a topic it's really hard for her to guage whether someone else wants to hear her informative talk about it so she ends up boring some people to death if they're too polite to change the subject on her

She considers Sally like a second mother and the two of them have the deepest conversations sometimes

She cries sometimes when she gets mad and it annoys her soo much

She has almost 0 sense of style on account of she's been at camp since she was a child and doesn't really see the need to dress for looks at all, so on occasions where she wants to dress nicely or look cute she asks Piper for help

Piper affectionately compared her to Leo a couple of times, because she loves both of them, and annabeth did not like that

Piper also listens to her infodump a lot and since she has better politeness understanding than Percy (lol) she's better at asking questions and overall Active Listening

Jason is also often genuinely interested in things Annabeth has to say but they don't have conversations as much and also Jason is kinda afraid to ask Annabeth questions bc it takes a while for it to sink in that she's happy to talk and hes not bothering her

(i wonder if he ever asked her about thalia...that would be really sweet I think in need to write that in my mental fic idea list)

On that note shes not always entirely aware of how scary/unapproachable she looks or like she cant always turn it off, otherwise she's a really good leader/teacher, that's kinda the difference between her and Jason as leaders (and also ppl just trust Jason more bc hes a dude which is Not Cool but what can you do)

Part of her love language is incorporating other people into her plans and preparations. Like if shes traveling with other girls she'll make sure to bring extra hygiene products and hairties, traveling with others in general she'll make sure to have extra necessities in case someone needs them. She's like a mom who carries all the snacks except no one knows until someone says "i'm thirsty" and suddenly she's got a pack of mini gatorade in her backpack and she's asking if you want one.

Whenever there's a group discussion she's really aware of how much the other girls are getting to speak, and if someone is being talked over she'll be the one to be blunt and say "hey, I think she has something to say"

She taught Mrs O Leary some more obedience and plays fetch with her a lot

[solarsleepless]

hello all

welcome back the kristy thomas autism analysis, where i'm rewatching the show and writing down her autistic traits as i see em (as well as noting any neurodiverse traits in the other girls). here's part one if you haven't seen it.

this ep is not narrated by kristy, so she is not the 'main character' in this episode, which basically means there's going to be a LOT shorter than before

without further ado, let's jump right in!

Episode 2

"did he ask you to the dance or not?!" autistic people often don't pick up on things when they're indirectly stated, and much prefer a direct way of speaking because we tend to not pick up on the double meaning, which is clearly showcased with how much value kristy gives on the exact phrasing here

"subtlety is not among her many talents" more examples of kristy's bluntness—she doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything she's saying, she's just stating what's true

kristy is extremely and visibly confused by the notion that him saying he'd "see her there" is him asking her out. again, more emphasis on how she needs directness

oh also good time to note: comfort clothes!!! autistic people tend to gravitate towards clothes that feel nice. from this point onwards we see kristy wearing a lot of hats, which can feel good pressure-wise or even texture-wise.

oh also also, kristy is pretty queercoded!!! research right now indicates that autistic people are much more likely to identify under the lgbtqia(+) umbrella

something i didn't have enough space to note last time is that kristy generally wears much more comfortable clothes than the rest of the bsc. not that they actively wear uncomfortable clothes, but she's the only one who really dresses plain, with sweatpants, jeans, and soft shirts.

stimming: fidgeting slightly with the twizzlers :)

even More issues with bluntness: she doesn't understand how rude it is to say that her friend's dad is crazy and so forth because of his being obssessive over aforementioned friend.

not much to say on her response to mary anne's "and what would you know about having a normal dad?!" (ouch, mary anne), it's perfectly understandable. the way she just ups and runs without saying anything can be read as autistic.

additional notes

as this episode is claudia centric, we get a much bigger view into what she's like at school and whatnot. almost straight away, she tells us that above everything, she's good at art—which isn't in and of itself a sign, but with everything else, it can be! people with adhd can like art for a variety of reasons: the ability to just sit back and focus your mind on just one thing you want to create, the fact that you can create as well is important, the textures you can use and feel, the way you just sort of disconnect your mind from everything else. she remarks that she also likes it because there's no homework or tests, things adhders are notoriously bad at keeping track of due to their executive dysfunction.

this episode showcases most of all how she struggles with school. especially if claudia is dyslexic/dyscalculiac as she's slightly implied to be, pair that with adhd, and she's not living the vida loca.

as well as showing the same traits listed in part 1, janine also mentions she has noise-canceling headphones, which are common party of autistic culture as sound generally affects us the most. adhd and autism are also often hereditary, so if janine is autistic, it's likely that claudia is similarly nd.

claudia is shown to not understand how the math works, even when stacey explains in depth. she asks "and how do you do that?" and dyscalculia impairs how easy is it to understand mathematics, even if they're regarded as "simple" to others. there's also a pretty high comorbidity rate between dyscalculia and adhd with 11% having dyscalculia. generally, it's common to see adhd paired with another learning disorder, with 45% of ppl with adhd also having a learning disorder

stimming: tapping her hands on the table and swaying her leg

mary anne sits cross-legged in her chair: autistic people tend to have a heightened proprioceptive sensory input, which is basically why we sit funky, and why it is physically uncomfortable to sit "normally", with both feet on the ground.

anxiety is very common in autism, which both mary anne and especially her dad display. her dad's very autistic coded as well, but we can get into that in later episodes.

[courtney-deserved-better]

okay ive got fantasy high on the brain so here's a little fantasy high td au that i will never write. spoilers for like. all of it that's been released so far.

the bad kids:

right off the bat, sammy and amy as adaine and aelwyn. don't have much to say on this besides i think they fit pretty well. amy would have to be a bit smarter for aelwyn's place in the story but other than that i think they fit pretty well. sammy as a wizard with anxiety but who also desperately wants to fuck up the ppl who wrong her once she gets treatment for that anxiety. also i like to think in this au that amy would have a redemption arc and she and sammy could learn how to be somewhat functional sisters.

lightning as fabian. they are both egotistical athletes with a ridiculous amount of pressure from their shitty parents and i would love lightning to have an arc where he makes friends and learns to overcome toxic masculinity

dj as gorgug! he has the capacity to rage but he doesn't want to unless its necessary which disappoints people who expect someone as big as him to be a fighter. but he just wants to give tin flowers to his friends! maybe his love for cooking turns into a love for creating and that's how he becomes an artificer. he would definitely make little mechanical animal friends. also that makes his moms wilma and digby

hear me out. priya as kristen. big worshipper of helio thanks to her parents/being his chosen one but as she goes through the world without that strong of an influence she realizes how wrong they are and breaks away from that mentality. a bit of a chaotic being as she goes through life trying to find structure again but dedicated to her friends and whatever deity she's worshiping at the time

kitty as fig. she loves her friends so so much. she wants to try so many different things. she has issues with an authoritative female figure in her life (emma/sandra lynn). i think she could rock the punk/devil aesthetic while still being so friendly and silly.

i had such a hard time figuring out who would be riz but i'm gonna say shawn. they're both conspiracy theorists who probably drink way too much coffee and get way too little sleep. i can see shawn's obsession to surviving the zombie apocalypse be turned into an obsession with solving mysteries in this world. i think it'd be funny if that made sanders sklonda because she already sorta has tired single mom trying her best energy and is (unfortunately) a cop

others:

chris as aguefort. truly a facilitator, manifester, and being of chaos. alternatively i could see him being the jace to chef's porter

millie as ayda!! she would sooo be a librarian who doesn't understand friendship and the chaos that comes with it but wants to be loved so bad but doesn't understand how to get that love and is generally insecure while coming off as knowledgeable and somewhat aloof

if kitty is fig then i can see emma as sandra lynn in an "older sister who's been raising her younger sister and who knows who her real dad is but won't say" i think there's some delicious sister angst there especially with kitty pulling away once she realizes they're actually half sisters and emma knows who kitty's dad is because she's older but won't tell her. not sure how gilear factors into the situation

dave as biz. has his nice guy thing with sammy instead of sky.

zee as zaphriel/the hangvan. just chill vibes dude.

scary girl as baron!! she's already lowkey got the aesthetic in different colors all she needs is the puppet/mask/mirrors stuff. she would haunt the shit out of shawn

raj as ragh!! starts out as a bit of a bully jock but once he gets over his toxic crush, is rescued by the bad kids, and comes out he's so much happier and nicer while still being a total jock. not sure how wayne would fit into the equation but maybe he could just be raj's friend on the bloodrush team

duncan as jawbone is really funny to me because yeah he has this crazy past as a drug dealer but now he's a high school guidance counselor who's super dedicated to helping kids and has embraced the domestic life?? kinda have a hard time seeing it for duncan but i do think it would be really funny

alejandro as garthy. don't have much to say on this just the vibes if alejandro wasn't evil and wanted to chill on a pirate ship he would be garthy.

leonard as sprak they're both so silly

i think putting trent as gilear would be so funny. local normal guy is just cursed to have the worst day every day. make that man the lunch lad

ennui as zayn purely bc of the tall goth aesthetic

beth as cathilda. i like to think she's generally small and helpful but could kick so much ass if needed

the rat grinders:

courtney as kipperlilly there's truly no other choice.

scarlett as oisin bc she seems like the nicest, most reasonable rat grinder and then bam she's been scheming with their most evil plot

crimson as mary ann bc she is so expressionless 24/7 but can fuck you up without blinking

julia as ivy. mean girl time!!

mal as ruben. he thinks he's so edgy and cool when he's just a high schooler who sings in an emo band. kitty would enjoy psychologically tormenting his as wanda chillda

bridgette as lucy!! she and courtney were once best friends until she was the one rat grinder who chose to die rather than be overtaken by rage and courtney is left alive and grieving and betrayed by her best friend

emma (td) as buddy, actually a pretty nice person who is being influenced by a toxic mindset and suffers greatly at the hands of people using her as a pawn

gotta go be a functioning human being in society so that's all i got for now

[beansmakesthings]

yeah i get more what you mean abt constance, i just jumped to what i did bc i see her get characterized incorrectly so often by ppl just ignoring her problems and character and only using her to take care of other people. so its kind of got a bad reputation to call her the mom friend of the group. by the "point of her arc" i mean the arc being that she's not just kind, there's so much more to her and other people need to realize that- calling her smth that stricly revolves around taking care of others it feels kinda oppositional to that. plus a 'mom friend' is usually associated with being the most mature and put together, which she is shown not to be, but OTHER people percieve her that way in-universe. so thats just what i feel abt it, i think it's just a label thing

That's fair, I totally get what you mean. I agree that there are some people who don't quite understand what they were going for with Constance in RTC. Her arc, at least the way I interpret it, is the one I relate to the most in the choir so I don't just see her as being 'the nice one' or just there for the benefit of the choir either.

Those headcanon pages I made are only a fraction of what I think of the characters and are just to give people a very small taste of how I characterize and perceive them. I understand the confusion, but I promise there's more to my thoughts on them than what's been written down so far.

And, like I said in the first response, I think Constance can look out for her friends and want to take care of the people around her while also having more going on. As someone who really relates to having people pleasing tendencies that have backfired and caused a lot of harm and internalized anger, but is still takes pride in being a 'dad friend' for my friends, I really get that. It's something that, like myself, I think Constance is working on so she doesn't cave to everything anyone asks of her and doesn't accept shitty treatment just to please others, but she still has a desire to be there for the people she loves and help them when they need her.

I do understand that there are certain connotations with being a mom or dad friend as well, but for me personally I think it comes down to two things. One, a matter of a person's willingness to jump to help others, and two, just a general vibe around them. I'm a dad friend because I carry Advil and extra cash incase someone forgets lunch and I jump to defend the people I love right away, but I'm also a dad friend because I wear cargo shorts and patterned button up t shirts and primarily listen to bands from the 70s and 80s.

Constance is a mom friend in part because she wants to care about people, and in part because she just has the aura of someone's mom who when you hand her a phone she holds it a foot from her face and peers over the top of her glasses to read the screen. She also won't take anyone's shit anymore and will call them out if they're treating her badly these days which is also very mom energy.

Anyway, I love Constance a lot and much of how I characterize her is based on my own experiences, so I swear it's not as one dimensional as it may come across in those headcanons. Hopefully I'll get out of the artblock armpit soon and get some new RTC art done and make some new stuff about Constance.

[totallynotapsychic]

HSHAGFJAHA Heyy ooc! Im the same anon that asked about top 3 ships, and YES I LOVE YOU SM. I SHALL NOW YAP. 🙌🏼

Nendou x saiki is so so funny to me, i love it!! At first i was like ehh🤔, but then i was like ohh🤨 and then i was like OHHH😍 the more you think about it, the better their basic dynamic gets and i just HEJWIDHA

Aiura x saiki !! That's actually one of my top 3 as well!! Them both being psychics, her understanding, strong personality, humor and JEBFIWI its like, she's an actual character yknow? Not just random made just for mocking romance. Not to mention the fact that she predicted they were soulmates, and her predictions are canonically always accurate!! (Platonic or romantic, its still adorable)

Believe it or not teruhashi x saiki is ALSO MY TOP ANDOSJJAH WE NEED TO GET MARRIED NEOOOWWW🗣🗣🗣

i LOVE teruhashi!! Defending her is actually a full Time job im not even joking. I find her character and development amazing! Yes, she may be arragont, but does she ever ACT arrogant? No! Her whole thing is about acting perfect, which means making people happy, and whilst her thoughts are far from it, she doesnt act on them, which is why i love her! She's honestly such a nice, kind and sweet girl, who makes me laugh too. Not to mention she memorized EVERY persons name in her school just so THEY would be happy, to maintain her perfect persona, and passed out because of it!! My heart was lucky this anime is comedy😟😟

But yes OMDDD This SHIP has my HEART. The canon art of those two are MWAH. The dynamic!! The moments they had in the show!! SHE MADE HIM SAY OFFU LIKE CMON NOW I WAS SQUEALLING.

Whilst its true that she doesnt know his TRUE true self, she was still perfectly fine with his 'normal' self, made him smile, and kept headstrong cuz that's just her!! OH AND ALSO lets not forget the alternative universe that is only slightly altered from the main one, that saiki uses to check his friends reaction to his power reveal, THEY ALL ACCEPTED HIM⁉️ SO WE CANNONICALLT KNOW THAT TERUHASHI, ALONG WITH ALL HIS FRIENDS, ACCEPT HIS POWERS.

My heart🤧 my soul 🤧 my life🤧

Oh and also i personally headcannon saiki to be demi romantic/sexual!! ( developing romantic/sexual attraction only after building a strong close emotional relationship and not on first basis impressions) but i also totally understand the aroace headcannons, and tbh yh i kinda see it! Im open for everything tbh, however it does get quite exhausting watching others attack eachother over differing headcannons regarding saiki. Oh well🙁

But yah, my top 3 are terusai, aiusai, and ....don't judge me... One sided toritsuka x saiki. IM SORRY HELP ITS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME. 😟😟

ALSO WHENS THE WEDDING??

/ooc HOLY YAP /lh

I had so much fun reading this ily the wedding is tomorrow

1. I love love love teruhashi so so so much and it takes every single bit of my willpower to not viscerally attack someone when they say they hate her (/j I'm not attacking ppl) but I have to remind myself they just don't understand and they're not as insane as me. Also I think Saiki and Teruhashi having a closer relationship would provide some benefit for both of them. Idk how I forgot about that episode you mentioned but the way Saiki caught her before she fell just UGH ❤️❤️ I think they would take really good care of each other if they just got a little closer.

2. Demi saiki definitely makes the most sense to me!! I forgot that was a thing and couldn't think of a label to apply to him LMFAO but I love hcing a lot of my favs as demi because that's just how I view optimal relationships in general if that makes sense.

3. I WONT JUDGE YOU LISTEN. I almost considered putting torisai as one of my top three but then I realized the reciprocated feelings dynamic would be a little iffy idk that doesn't make much sense but I'm not sure how I see it. I used to love torisai as well and for some reason I can't really remember why, I just know I wasn't thinking of it the same way then as I think of it now but one-sided torisai DEFINITELY is super funny 😭 a lot of people misconstrue this ship as well and make it kind of gross and icky so that might be what drove me away from it.

[lesbiansanemi]

I know you said you will spare everyone from your essays, but I kind of want to read them (specifically the demon slayer ships that are popular [giyuushino,obamitsu,zenezu,tankana, etc])

Obviously, you don't have to write the essays, but if you were to write them, I would be the first one to read /nf

☀️🌻

Oh yeah! Sure! I'll take any excuse to get up on my soap box lmao

I want to preface this, as the ships you've specifically listed are popular m/f pairings among the fandom, and three of which are actually canon, that I am very picky with m/f ships. I don't dislike them by virtue of being m/f, but it does take an extremely interesting dynamic to get me to like them, and for them not to feel like people are just smashing the characters together because they're a guy and a girl and they should be together literally just because... they're a guy and a girl.

I'll start with Obamitsu and Tankana as I'm a lot less critical of them than Zennezu and Giyuushino

To be honest, I don't actually dislike Obamitsu. I just... don't really care about it, and I find that most people who ship it don't seem to care about any of the more interesting or nuanced aspects of it. They get boiled down to "mean angry man is only soft for his sweet bubbly gf" which is... not a trope I'm super fond of. I think there's a lot of interesting aspects to explore with the ship, like the angle of Mitsuri initially wanting a stereotypical masculine man to take care of her and provide for her, eventually falling in love with a physically smaller and weaker man who doesn't know how to function in society at large, leaving her the much more "competent" of the two, forcing her to examine gender roles and her own internalized sexism as well as her supposed preferences. There's also Obanai's fear and trauma regarding women, and the fact that Mitsuri is about as stereotypically feminine as you can get. I think these are somewhat interesting things to explore, but most people (and the manga itself) never explored these things and wanted to paint them as a very straight forward cutesy (and tragic, but only in the sense that they both die young) romance like "look! Obanai can be nice and soft sometimes! And Mitsuri fell in love like she wanted!" with nothing else. The relationship makes sense to me, writing wise and why people would enjoy it, but ultimately does not do enough to make me genuinely care about it beyond going "yeah it's okay I guess." All this being said, it becomes a lot more fascinating if you add the angle of transfem Obanai, or add Shinobu for Obashinomitsu, but obviously this is not canon nor what ppl want or expect with the ship at large

Tankana is kind of similar in the sense that I just find it really boring. Kanao is a very layered and fascinating character to me. Given her childhood and trauma, I get why she would latch onto Tanjiro and admire him in the way that she did. She was a character who never experienced kindness or even being treated as a human being until Shinobu and Kanae found her. To be honest, I think her relationship with the Kocho sisters is incredibly complicated, and immediately being entranced in the Corps lifestyle also affected her in an extreme way. To meet someone like Tanjiro, who is so unabashedly kind and genuine and immediately sees her as a person with agency (not that the Kocho sisters didn't do this, but that Kanao has had more time to adjust and process her trauma by the time she met Tanjiro so he's more... separate, in a way), like I said, it makes sense to me that she would latch onto him.

So it makes sense, and I don't hate that they became canon, but again, it's just a bit boring to me. I also personally think that Kanao and Nezuko's storylines and personalities compliment each other a lot more from a writing perspective, so I much prefer Nezukana. So yeah, it's a ship that makes some sense to me, I can understand why people like it, but I don't care about lol. And it does have a little bit of the "they get together because they're a boy and girl omg" angle, though it is a little less egregious than some.

And oh boy alright here we go

So Zennezu. The ship's only basis in Zenitsu's overplayed crush on Nezuko. I already don't like ships like that, where the whole thing is "one of the characters has a crush on the other for shallow, usually physical, reasons the entire series and the other character never acknowledges it/returns it until suddenly they do at the end of the series." Like, imo, that's one of the laziest ways to write a romance ever, and also just feels very unrealistic. Maybe that's the aroace in me, but "crushes" portrayed like that are just not realistic or compelling to me.

Beyond that, I think the ship kind of negates a lot of Zenitsu's character arc and development. He ended up in the situations he did because of his obsessions with women and wanting a wife, and a lot of him needing to learn to live and do things for himself, not because he wants the stereotypical image of a wife, and not letting his anxieties control him. Instead of getting that development, seeing him settle down with Nezuko at the end of the chapter feels... idk, out of place? Odd? I can't think of the right word, but just for a character development perspective it just doesn't make sense to me. Also. Nezuko deserves better lol

And for Giyuushino.... Yeah. The epitome of "guy and girl get together because they're a guy and girl and stood in the same frame so that means they're canon." (Because no seriously, I would be less bitchy about this ship if the shippers could acknowledge it has no canonical substance or backing but so many of them fully act like it's based in some kind of canon feelings or implications)

I just truly don't understand what is so entertaining about two characters who work together, who, conceivably, if they were ever going to even be friendly with each other, would have done it already. One of their few interactions is Shinobu telling Giyuu how much everyone hates him, and also Giyuu really never gives an indication whatsoever that he wanted to be close with Shinobu. He treated her the same as he treated all the other Hashira

Also Shinobu is a lesbian and anyone who disagrees just fundamentally don't understand her sorry not sorry she hates men

But yeah! That's the gist of it! Idk, I just tend to really dislike popular m/f ships as I hate the way ppl as a whole approach m/f shipping and the dynamics they go for for it. So much of it is "mean and/or emotionally stunted guy really likes girl and she fixes him and also we'll ignore a lot of the female character's nuances and flaws" but. You know.

[ca-suffit]

Sorry, I didn't want to sound like a doomer. I guess, I'm just worried about how the episode will be received since white fandom seems not to get the race commentary even when it's heavy handed given to them, so idk if they have the capacity to understand Armand's shift of role for Lestat beyound trying to make him looks ridiculous because clown role. They're already swooning over Lestat's costume and appearence, like :))

Yeah, okay, you're right lmao, Lestat was racist and biased for sure, but I was trying to be nice about it.

Also for all your unhinged and racist followers (apparently this needs to be explained):

White fandom /= all the white fans of the show

White fandom is the racist fans of this show, who are mostly (quelle surprise) white people, mostly women since women are the majority in fandom and especially on tumblr dot hell.

dw, I understood why u'd be prepping for disaster in several ways and I'm glad u weren't rly offended by what I said. this fandom is fcking exhausting and everything always *will* be purposely misunderstood. but that's why I'm here :)

also ya I'm always explaining that white fandom doesn't mean white ppl too. It will continue to the end of time. They only have a handful of the same arguments. It's always easier for white liberals to attack shit out of feeling guilty than to reflect on the topic at hand and unlearn things. It just makes it more laughable tho when u see the direct difference between the asks I get and the asks white fandom gets. I'm not doing anything but talking about race in the fandom of a show that centers racial struggles. It doesn't do it in a way that makes white fans feel good tho and that's why I get so many hate anons. God forbid someone makes u think about the actual themes. God forbid white women ever feel guilty of anything either, despite being prbly the most dangerous group in existence. Everyone understands what a Karen is but could never possibly be one! No, "the racist abuse I'm hurling at a stranger online is deserved bcuz I'm not a fucking racist and they're just so mean!!!!" Remember how many ppl saw Antoinette be racist af as she cuddled up to patriarchy thinking she was winning so hard and instead of noticing any of that it was a bunch of shit about "does Lestat luv her tho? is this show anti woman???" Jesus fucking Christ...........

[bwoahtastic]

female alpha nico r coming of as the very definition of ICE QUEEN image but a total softie (kind of like how i think ppl view kimi in general no?). she's the cool it girl but also *the* bitch that all the other non-grid girlies(gn) shit on, but nico lets it brush over her because she only cares abt her gridmates and how good she is at making them feel. she hates confrontations when its abt her, but when it concerns anyone she cares abt then nico will show why they call her *the bitch* or ice queen. does she service or like getting serviced? both, she isnt picky and she enjoys whatever fun they're having as long as everyone is comfortable. her fave would have to be omega max or omega jenson tho. max because he's so sweet and looks like he's begging to be dominated or cared for. and jenson because the sexual tension is transcendent in any and all AUs including irl :)

Oh plss!!

She is always seen as so cold and quite the bitch and no one understands how the pack of drivers adores her so much! But Nico is so soft for the pack behind closed doors, always keeping an eye on everyone and freely giving affection! She is always ready for snuggles and rumbles so happily ehen she is with her pack! She will protect them too, no one can say a mean word about her pack she will fight them! She doesn't csre if the gossip is about her though, as long as her pack is happy!

She doesn't care if she tops of bottoms as long as her pack is happy! Sure, she quite likes knotting her pretty Omegas but she doesn't mind being fucked either. The other Alphas definitely bottom for her too tho, she is so good!

She loves young Omega maxy, teaches him he can be himself, and doesn't have ro be embarrassed. She fucks him so good and he is adorable when he is knotdrunk, so tight around her and just clinging on to her with a goofy smile! He really is made to be cared for and dominated and Nico is the perfect pack Alpha to him!

And plss omega jenson! He gives nico so much troubles sometimes cos he is a menace and always gets into trouble lol. Nico definitely has to spank him once or twice to teach him a lesson but he is into it so it doesn't really work skks. She csn fuck him hard and he takes it so well! And if she fucks him nice and deep, he gets to incoherent to even make his silly jokes lol. And he for sure loved to lay his head on her soft chest after sksk

[adasknife]

Hello lovely!!

How do you think modern Aeons see Ada? I feel like they don't really know her. They're not paying attention to what she's saying or doing. They base their opinion of her on how she acts towards Leon and they will always justify her actions instead of wondering WHY she's acting that way.

She's 'nice' to Leon: omg yes true love uwu she saved his life see she's not a villain!!!

She's 'mean' to Leon: lmaooo you go girlboss point a gun at him yes end his life!!!

BUT if someone suggests Leon doesn't want her because of the latter, they act like crybabies.

She's like a doll to them, a vessel for them to pour their projections on. They don't wonder about her aspirations or fears. It's all so superficial to them. I don't see this happening to any other character (well a lot of ppl baby Leon but most acknowledge his rights and wrongs, and ppl call the other characters out on their bullshit, but with Ada it's just... you can't say a bad thing abt her or you will be crucified, but they cant even form a proper argument against someone who dislikes her, its always stfu hater r#acist and jealous). Like I like Ada but sometimes she pisses me off lol. All of the characters do. Why is it such a taboo for Aeons to admit Ada fucks up too?

I think most, if not all, Ada Wong 'fans' are Aeon shippers first and foremost. That's why they're refusing to acknowledge that Campom is getting rid of the romantic aspect of Aeon in the remake: if Ada isn't with Leon or Leon isnt chasing after her, she loses her charm and they have to acknowledge the 'ugly' parts of her character, bc they NEVER hold her accountable for anything. She's done some questionable stuff but they're always like "omg yes mother slay queen go be a criminal babygirl do your thing". Like they never stop to analyze her. It's so dehumanizing that her own 'fans' do not care to analyze her outside of her being the sexy aloof spy who is the Love Interest and acts mysterious and looks sexy. They are the ones perpetuating the stereotype about her. Bc they don't care to know her. They know everything they want to know: that Leon wants her, and thats enough for them.

Sorry for the long message, you're one of the few ppl on here who actually offers a different, realistic, HUMAN analysis on Ada.

i don't know about the modern aeons a lot. i only know one decent enough, and they seem to respect ada but of course aeon is their main thing. the ones that i do know less of but their reputation is very high and mighty. yeah. unfortunately, they don't really seem the... biggest fans of her. i can respect the motivation for her. especially with those who baby leon.

i mean, imagining shipping aeon and suddenly you get people shitting on ada because she manipulate him. blah, blah, that sort of thing.

those are the one who definitely just defend her for the #girlpower which once again. can't argue against that. ada is allowed to use leon, but they definitely rank up her mean heart. i think it's double down the comments against ada or they just really like that specific dynamic.

but that's when you mention the other thing, the ada needs leon to 'really' manner to the story.

that's another sad yeah to some fans and i feel like it's accidentally. like, i certainly hope none of these fans actually do it on purpose. or disliking characters. like, i have seen people who hate leon and people who hate ada (y'know disliking her character not disliking her for race or jealousy), and i follow both to get an understanding on why people hate them. i dislike and like living in an echo chamber, but how will you get the understanding of the characters?

i feel i am rambling now so, i'll try to hurry up. aeons want a validation of the past self of the ship. imagine wasting years of your life, begging for ship to become canon and re6 comes along and destroys it again. like, i follow an aeon shipper and a couple aeons get angry at the idea of shipping a different person with leon or even an oc.

like, i don't hundred percent think that they project themselves in ada. they want to understand her as well, but they are bias of believing ada needs leon. when... she never did. in re6, helena is telling leon to go with ada and leon rejects it. even he never needed her.

helena is like an aggressive aeon shipper, she thinks she understands their story, but who knows it better than them two. and that's where the flaw of the writing comes to place and the fans have to write it in to fill in the holes. making theories that leon is an alcoholic for missing ada or that he is happier in death island because he got the 'pussy'. (comments in aeon videos)

like this is messy, it's unfortunate that ada doesn't get many thoughts of fans. like jacksepticeye said, "they'll make cute babies." or the pieces of writing of ada repeat that ada protects leon with the bias of the OG games while speaking about the remakes.

i try in this blog to avoid leon (sometimes i fail and that's fine.) so ada can shine as a bad and good character. i don't worship the ground that ada walks over. i think she is hot. i think she is good but the writing/fans think that kindness is only meant for leon. i just hope fans adore their female characters as much they claim. the ugly and the pretty.

i hope aeon shippers think the same. i hope they aren't always horrible and try to understand half the ship they love

[kirbles]

Why do you like Mystra so much? I prefer dnd mystra to bg3 mystra, so I'd love to see a new perspective :)

hi :0 oouuu this is kinda hard to put into words but i'll try my best!

i'll preface this by saying i have literally 0 dnd knowledge, i've never played it before. bg3 is my first real 'venture' into it. all my knowledge of mystra comes from gale's personal quest/origin story and living on mystra's wiki pages for a few days.

rambling under cut oops. it's gonna be a lot of my own interpretation, headcanons and opinions so... if you read it and don't agree w me pls be nice i'm just a lil guy who likes morally grey women.

firstly. i can understand why it can be hard for ppl to view gale and mystra's relationship with nuance when we don't have the basis of mortal/deity relationships irl to compare it to. i don't doubt gale's adeptness in magic wasn't cultivated to be of use to mystra by her for the majority of his life, but to see it as starkly black/white i think fails the narrative that larian tried to establish.

mystra as a goddess isn't inherently evil at all, or purposefully seeking out to be malicious towards gale. imo she is indifferent and self serving, which honestly? i think is far worse in the context of a romantic and sexual relationship between mortal and deity. i can imagine gale falling in love with her after years upon years studying under her in her domain, and being so worried she'd cast him away because he has feelings for her. but in the grand scheme of things that is redundant to her. she cares about what he can provide for her and that he doesn't overstep the bounds she has set for him and every other mortal.

i have absolutely no doubts that mystra cared for gale in her own weird way, he WAS her chosen after all. but she is a god, incapable of mortal thoughts and feelings. any love gale felt towards her was not returned in the same capacity. it is more narratively appealing to me that she would encourage their relationship developing to what he wanted it to be because it made gale a better wizard if they're 'in a relationship'.

she made the mistake of allowing gale to stand beside her at the absolute crucible of magic. he, a man hungry to learn more and be better, got to witness the magic that he would never be able to wield. and when he begged mystra to allow him, that it would be put to good use and he wasn't like other mortals, she told him to be content with what he had.

she, the goddess of magic, wanted to keep balance in the realms. gale, her chosen, who was a prodigy, was not allowed special treatment because she had to keep the status quo.

gale himself did the research into 'a lost piece of weave' and he incorrectly assumed that it was a piece of HER weave that she had lost after the second sundering. he went out of his way to get it, not because he wanted to benefit her, but because he wanted her to be SO impressed by him and what he was capable of achieving that she would disregard the bounds she put up and allow him access to the power and magic he deserved.

but this isn't me hating on gale at all. on the contrary, his hubris is extremely fucking human of him, and something mystra could have dealt with in a FAR more gracious way than she did. consider the weave in the book he found was karsite weave, that was made with the intent to destroy mystra's weave. that would scare her absolutely shitless!!! but is it not petty that she did not think to tell gale that it wasn't a piece of her? not even warn him it was dangerous, BEFORE he opened it and had it latch onto him??

she had told gale, her chosen, to be content with what he had. (and he had a LOT more going for him than most mortals or wizards could dream of.) instead of listening to her, he went out of his way to seek it out anyway, completely disregarding the order's of his goddess. she likely felt justified in punishing him in the way that she did, even tho it was overkill.

mystra herself is not without blame. while she may not be out to get gale, she was clearly VERY petty in how she went about punishing him for a very, very human act of folly - a folly that, had she immediately alleviated from him, he might not ever endeavour to repeat again.

and in peak petty fashion she banishes him. he is no longer considered her chosen. his magic is slowly being drained by the netherese blight in his chest, which he still has no explanation for when you keep in mind that he thought it was MYSTRA'S weave in that book. so why was it eating at the magic inside of him, when it belonged to the goddess he adored all his life? mystra purposefully hides the truth that it was karsite weave from him, even though she knew from the start. she let him suffer the aftermath as the orb ate his magic when she honestly could've cured it the entire time.

she only bestows the charm to halt the magic feeding from him to instead feed on her weave, when she is under the impression that it is temporary, and that gale will utilise the bomb in his chest to get rid of the crown of karsus that threatens her very existence. which, by the way, she purposefully dressed it up in the term 'the heart of the absolute' and did NOT mention it being the crown of karsus - something gale learns RIGHT before he has to make the decision to blow himself up.

she paints it as a holy missive to make him feel important and bestow forgiveness she has no right to grant, just so he will do it. because though he is no longer her chosen and he is lost, he is so clearly devoted to her still and she NEEDED that devotion in that very moment! his existence was incredibly convenient, and she was willing to 'forgive' him if he followed one last order from her. for was it not his disregarding her order that got him in this mess in the first place? the weave was lost once before, it would be detrimental to everyone if it were to happen again.

it was gale's own hubris that lead him to possess the orb, and i think gale fans that focus more on him being a victim do his character a great disservice by not recognising that his want for more power, whether for mystra's benefit or not, was his own undoing. it's a complete disregard to his character to just say 'mystra groomed/abused him! he did nothing wrong!' when he was a grown man who ignored the warnings from his goddess.

but also. mystra had no empathy for him. he made one mistake and she punished him and withheld information from him, and when she does begin communicating with him again its through a messenger. even in act 3, mystra commands gale to come to HER. as soon as he made one simple careless act she discarded him. but i think that's what makes her so interesting to me is how fucked up and flawed she is.

mystra and gale are both flawed and not faultless, but gale was absolutely taken advantage of, and while his act of hubris was the result of his own hunger for power, he was also weighed down in the same environment for decades, with an overbearing goddess that he dare not disappoint.

mystra (and i think by extension most gods) may not be 'evil' but they are so very fucked up in how they use mortals for their own benefit with almost no regard for their mental and physical wellbeing.

the ketheric thorm quote 'we are copper pieces in their belts, tokens to be traded for scraps, you may have beaten me, but the gods beat me first.' it's so very, VERY raw and real because it relates to majority of companions. but especially so in gale's case.

ugh this got more rambly than i intended it to. it's hard to talk about (bg3) mystra without talking about gale too and vice versa because their stories are SO interwoven. i only rly talk to a couple ppl abt her but. she is just so very interesting when you look at her as a former mortal turned goddess who cares about self preservation and will use her devotees as a means to an end, as opposed to boiling down to gale's crazy ex gf. idk idk she is incredibly flawed and fucked up and i just think she slays

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw for csa, nightmares and flashbacks, csa detail

I just wanna vent

Last night I had a horrible nightmare of getting raped. It lasted for a long time and I'm still shaken from it. It brought back many flashbacks when I woke up. Idk why but even tho it was my mom who sa me, whenever I have a nightmare of sa (which happens a lot) my mom is never the rapist? Like its either my dad or a random person. Which is weird cuz my dad never sa'ed me. Sure he did constantly commented on my body ("your ass is growing, you're growing up!") Which make me feel uncomfortable. And one time he peeked through the toilet when i was using it to see if im on my phone, which was also weird but like he ddint mean to be inapp he just wanted to make sure i wasnt on my phone. But he never really did anything physical. Anyways the nightmare brought back shitty memories. I can still feel her lips and hands on me. It makes me feel so disgusted with myself, I feel like im dirty and gross for it. Ik it's not my fault but I just can't help feeling ashamed. My mom doesn't sa me anymore but she kinda does like.lower forms of it. Like slapping my ass or touching it, but that's normal right? I mean, I don't think she really means it in an inappropriate way, like she might just think it's a cute way of showing affection. My family is really physically affectionate after all, even my dad do that. Idk man I just feel so weird rn. I feel like I wanna get away from my body, like I don't belong in this thing. I wanna rip my skin off just to feel like she's never touched me. I wish she never did this to me, I wish we were a perfect family like how other ppl think we are. Worst part is they act so nice, they're good parents. It's just when I think of my childhood it's pretty messed up. I just keep trying to push down these feelings and ignore them so I can live in this fantasy of having perfect parents, but lately it's been becoming harder to do it. Thanks for listening, I hope u guys have a great day <3

- 💛

Hi 💛,

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through, as well as the dream you had. While you said your dad didn't outright SA you like your mom did, it sounds like he's still made inappropriate comments towards you and touches your butt. Please know that these things are unacceptable and you don't deserve to be treated this way.

It can be confusing when we dream of scenarios that are a bit different from our actual trauma, and it's natural to wonder why these details are changed in the dream. Sometimes our brains experiment with different dynamics to see how that changes the situation. Because for example there is quite a big difference between being raped by a stranger and being raped by your mom, and perhaps entertaining the idea of it being a stranger is a way to navigate and understand the dynamic between you and your mom. But sometimes its more symbolic or metaphorical. For example, if you dream about your dad being the perpetrator, perhaps it could symbolize the ways he makes you feel uncomfortable in your own body. Especially with trauma, it's natural for dreams to be a way to process and make sense of your experiences.

While it's okay for families to be physically affectionate, it must come with a certain level of care and respect for others' boundaries, which sounds absent in your family dynamic. It sounds like your family crosses physical and sexual boundaries under the guise of "normal" affection. Normalizing this behavior is what enables the abuse to continue. Please know that your body is yours and you deserve the right to say who can or cannot interact with it.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can best help you process your trauma, the dreams you've been having, and equip you with useful coping tools that you can take with you along your healing journey.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[acourtofthought]

It hurts me to see so many Tamlin defenders these days it's all so triggering for me.

My parents relationship is exactly like what happened with Feyre but only the fact that she never got the chance to get out and she's still stuck and now it's too late. I see Feyre in my mother everyday but I live in a country and community that doesn't care for women opinion and they're considered as being "dramatic", "over-reacting" and "selfish". Exactly the things they call Feyre.

My mother knew while they were engaged that this wouldn't end well but her parents didn't listen to her and they said you should marry him and fix him, bring him children he will be better... bc my father been through some traumatic stuff as well. (Honestly while I was reading acotar and acomaf, I find it a cruel joke) So that was the way to justify his actions. And bc my mother didn't wants us to hate him, she would say this to us as well that it's not his fault but we grow up and we realised this isn't normal as much as he wants to claim he's traumatised. (Sounds familiar?)

my mother gave and gave and gave but never received anything from him still receives nothing from him. And you know what he does to make her shut up and don't complain? He buys her things or for us. He used to pay for my grandparents treatment. Just like Tamlin who paid for Feyre's family to keep her were she is so she wouldn't leave him.

My mother can't go out without being questioned that where is she going, how long she's out, when will she come back? She doesn't have a job!!! And the fact that he's doing it to me and my sibling as well is also very disheartening... I can't go out with my friends without being questioned bc its dangerous outside and you don't know what's coming for you... (I'm being serious this is exactly his words)

And he never hit us or hurt us in physical way that is visible, he hits with his word how he degrade my mother and sometimes us. So no one really sees what we've been through no one believe us bc there's no evidence of it...

And knowing that ppl don't even consider Tamlin an abuser but just a misunderstood character and deserving better treatment from readers while the ppl around him suffered? Yeah... its feels like people are not seeing us just bc he's hot or have money or is powerful or whatever...

I wonder if someone tells them they're overreacting and being dramatic how they would feel? To not be seen and tell them "you're acting childish suck it up"? How would they feel?

And only bc you did some nice things doesn't make you less of an abuser we need to remind that to ourselves... (just bc tamlin help in a war HE CREATED (bc he thought Feyre was his trophy) and help Rhysand to live doesn't make him less of a shitty person that he is...)

ps: this is just my experience I know for a fact that a lot of ppl experienced worse than us. its okay if you ignore this but I only wanted to get this out somewhere that might some ppl see and rethink what they're saying...

First, I'm honored you shared your story with me and I am so sorry that both you and your mother are still in such a difficult situation. It's easy for someone on the outside looking in to say, "why doesn't she just leave already?" but anyone who has first hand experience of what she's going through (either because they have witnessed a love one going through it or they themselves have) know how difficult it can actually be to walk away. They might be struggling with years of their significant other chipping away at their self esteem to the point that they truly don't think they are worth more than the treatment they've gotten, they might be in a position where they can't set off on their own for financial reasons, they might fear for what the significant other might do if they were to leave. And I do understand why, as you are currently living this, it is triggering for you to see people romanticize Tamlin or explain away his behaviors as "he was struggling so he couldn't help himself." Of course he was struggling however, that never gives someone the right to take their struggles out on others. I don't think we'll ever be able to stop those who are fans of the Justice for Tamlin rhetoric but hopefully you take some comfort in knowing that the author herself has been vocal about how wrong Tamlin's behavior was. Others can interpret the text however they want but at the end of the day, SJM, the creator of his character has told us that he is a toxic male, that the High Lord of Spring is a "douche" and I think that's all that should matter to you. You feel his behaviors were not acceptable and the one who wrote him agrees. I'm not necessarily opposed to seeing Tamlin begin to heal but I personally don't think he's redeemed himself at all at this point and I have no interest in seeing him fall in love again, regardless of his one "heroic" gesture in the war. He still physically assaulted his friend afterwards and threw Lucien's clothes on his front door. A year after the war and he's still making no effort to try and be the High Lord his people need. It's not that someone who was abusive doesn't deserve the opportunity to better themselves but I don't think they deserve forgiveness until there are actual steps being taken to actually better themselves. Since Tamlin still, as of SF, has not made any progress in the right direction, I understand why it's frustrating when excuses are being made for his behavior. Again, I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Growing up in that situation often effects our own relationships and self esteem and I hate that you have become a victim in something you never had any say in. Sending you lots of love ❤️

[pinkseas]

(kicks the door down, fire surrounding me like a stage concert) I AM SAID AO3 USER COMMENT YOU WILL NEVER FIND MEEEEE I READ YOUR REPLY TO MINE AND BAWLED you get me you gget me so hard ao3 user anomaly98!!!!!!! (i did say in my comment i dug thru ur tumblr and here i am yet again)

not because i'm a prick not revealing myself thoughg i just have self esteem issues bc of liking qpr xiaolumi. yeah thas righrt i am shy of exposing that i dig this side of the r/s and i don't delve into the romantic one ever. prolly cus i'm an aromantic myself but like YOU KNOW- i just want to pop in to rlly emphasize the fics really do mean a lot to me in words you got it better described. that qpr in general has a different feel to intimacy and it fits them so nicely as people who are?? i guess, lonely but surrounded? (lumine to her friends who doesn't understand her enough, xiao to the adepti in that same matter, and the people of liyue who will never listen back to him), and here's another few disgustingly picky thing i got that your fics have that i tend to do in brainrotting it; most in lumine's pov and having her see through xiao's vulnerability firsthand. gosh that is so rare, you'd think bc he's always portrayed strong boi yaksha to protect the traveler all the time, but not in this perspective. and when yuou have her care for him both in the shower and bed just sends me straight face first into bed squealing crying blood of the consideration of ~~~~this whatever invisible distance~~~~ they have like its on lumine's condition to be aware of; she insists and ask first, and xiao is still allowed to say yes And no- and ~~~~this whatever closeness~~~~ xiao is reluctant to provide and its only to lumine's promptings in their friendship he accepts it, and felt warm enough to reach out if not in a ghostly touch.

very specifically, i love to see them not so in love with each other- i mean they can fall in love anytime (and in my interpretation they're a lot slower than yours in development but still a path to qpr eventually). i see their relationship as,... very fragile, but very grounding. its this small important part of their life they can shed their masks and be vulnerable like your recent fic to find each other's answers and resolve through it together because they're the Only two people of this world to understand (aside aether, aside all ppl xiao lost) that makes their dynamic so meaningful and i hope more ppl can see that side of them. ao3 user anomaly98 this is why YOU GET MEEEEEEEEE

deep breath.

if you do not wish to be found i will not search please know my inbox is always here i will welcome you with open arms <- pretend im saying this like Really Dramatically real somber real like. idk. like the way an ancient narrator begisn the story and reads the prophecy THAT kind of drama thats the vibe

its okay i would simply never assume u were a prick and i 100000% understand the insecurity that comes with enjoying certain aspects of ships and ESPECIALLY insecurity rooted in Being Aromantic and Enjoying Things In An Aromantic Sort Of Way like ive gotten way better its prob the only reason im able to write them how i want now but i ABSOLUTELY have been there i Understand

lonely but surrounded is SUCH a good way to put it. i genuinely do think lumine is close with a LOT of the others, i think she has a lot of trust and care for them, but its not the same. its not the same depth, not the same commitment, you're SO right comparing it to like. idk !!! idk. lumine once had aether who understood everything so easily and xiao had the other yakshas they both had a family, once, they both had people who understood, once, and now no matter who they love and trust in that matter they are alone. and that's something i love so much about the dynamic i envision for them, the fact that they're able to share such a unique loneliness, the fact that in not being understood by anyone around them they're able to understand each other. there's a level of distance and disconnect between them and those around them that doesn't exist with the other. its SO fucking important to me.

xiao is SO often depicted as being either a) very protective, strong, unbreakable etc or b) very vulnerable and fragile and i fairly often see fics of like. one of them protecting the other, almost? or less that but fics where the dynamic is Skewed, where one of them has the Role of protector and the other the Role of protected, where those roles are set in stone. and i think them being on the same wavelength, capable of protecting each other at any point, equally capable of either- that's so fucking important to me. it's not just that one of them is vulnerable, its that they're vulnerable with each other. it's not just that one of them will fight, it's that they'll fight for each other and fight together. it's equal. it's shared. so much between them is shared. their loneliness, their otherness, the unique way they feel about each other, their grief.

"i love to see them not so in love with each other" no bc this FUCKS. in my little brain i imagine it still takes time but i do definitely write it as being faster, and i think i imagine it as faster too? less rushing into it or any sense of need to be closer and more of just clicking so quickly, so easily, that what follows feels natural. "very fragile, but very grounding" is another REALLY good way of putting it your MIND oh my GOD!!!!!

idk just. for me so much of it is the small moments? sometimes when im walking out in the preserve the wind is cool and the air is fresh and the sun is warm and i think oh, this isn't so bad. this is lovely. and that's the kind of vibe i try to go for with them. contentedness over happiness, smaller gestures over grand ones. a quiet kind of love.

okay im losing my entire thought process idk that i had one to begin with admittedly but yknow. time to think about them for 120 billion years and never ever stop i wish iwasnt so tired id try writing more Literally Right Now. might try anyways and channel the sleepy into some sort of rly peaceful early morning/late night scene who knows