#she definitely wouldn't say no to that

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[keferon]

Imagine you're in the world of Transformers. Imagine you woke up randomly in the med bay and you're a giant robot.

You don't know which version of Transformers this is, the movies or the TV series or the comics? You don't know.

But you need to pick a faction and join it right now.

[thedevilsbckbone]

Her eyes held his as he answered, softening woefully in understanding when he mentioned not being okay either. Though it made her feel guilty, Yvette couldn't also help but feel relief in knowing she wasn't the only one going through it. She had forced herself to compartmentalize all these awful feelings for the sake of her family, exhausting herself to maintain some semblance of normalcy after what she and Eli had experienced. His following words caused the brunette to let out a dejected sigh that held the weight of all the stress and unease she'd been bottling up for months, a sad smile twitching at the corner of her lips for a second before she spoke. "Yeah," she nodded her softly in agreement, her voice hollow.

Her eyes had drifted back over to the slain woman's family again, seeing the two boys there crying, and Yvette felt her chest tighten up. Her mind flashed briefly to Alejandra's memorial service. She'd bought a plot at the cemetery and they placed a small headstone in her honor. Even though they'd never located Ale's body, Yvette had opted for the grave site none the less to give the children peace of mind. It taunted Yvette on the other hand, serving as yet another reminder of that thing that had attacked her and had likely killed her sister as well.

Her eyes met Eli's again as he spoke and she muttered her condolences. There was that guilt building up inside her again that she'd began to feel the moment she arrived at the service. She just couldn't shake the memories of seeing the poor woman in her final moments nor shake the suspicion that somehow she was partly to blame for it. After all, why else would she be seeing the things she did as if she were doing them? She stood there quiet for a moment afterwards, silently contemplating everything.

When he asked her about how long and where she was staying, Yvette let out another small sigh, shoulders rising up in a shrug. "I don't know — to be quite honest I didn't really think that far ahead." The decision to come had been an impulsive one stemming from her growing concern for Eli and the looming dread that haunted her.

"Truth be told, I was hoping to never have to come back but then I saw the news about the... attacks —" her eyes met his, passing another unspoken understanding between them. She shifted uncomfortably, her leg beginning to ache dully at where teeth had mangled flesh. She winced, reaching out to rest her hand against a nearby end table, leaning into it slightly to help alleviate some of the strain. "— and I had to come check on you... I hadn't heard from you in a while." she added softly. There was no accusation in her voice, and her gaze held understanding, even if deep down she had to admit there was a twinge of hurt at the fact. After all, he was the only one in her life that truly understood what she was going through and could be completely honest with. He was the only one that made her feel like she wasn't completely crazy. Which was ironic considering she barely knew really anything about him.

"I guess I figured I'd just stay where I did last time," she continued, a small frown tugging at the corners of her lips as she actually took a second to think about it for the first time. Truthfully she loathed the idea of staying in the motel seeing how close it was to the edge of the woods, not really feeling safe out on her own, but it wasn't as if she had many options available. She cleared her throat as those thoughts served to remind her why she was there exactly and she mustered up the courage to say the words that had been sitting on the tip of her tongue from the moment she decided to seek him out. "We need to talk about what's happening," Yvette implored in a soft mutter, glancing back towards the group of people again for a split second before catching his gaze. "There's something I need to tell you... but I can't talk about it here."

Despite the relief of not having seen him in any of those terrible visions, the brunette couldn't shake the awful feeling that neither one of them were out of the woods yet. Paranoid that something wicked was out to get them and that it wasn't going to stop anytime soon unless something actually got done about it. He worked so close to where Yvette knew that danger was lurking - waiting. She knew she couldn't go on trying to ignore it, to stay away. She had to do something. She didn't know what exactly but knew that if anything, Eli could at least help her figure it out. Even if it completely terrified her. She just prayed that after this he didn't look at her like she was crazy the same way everyone else did these days. If that happened then Yvette knew she wouldn'tbe able to hold herself together much longer. | @sickuhhh

The three words felt stupid to say, and yet, Eli had said them anyway—mostly because he'd been echoing what he'd heard all day and he needed to say it, too, if only to feel normal and like he didn't know what really happened to Paloma. Since the night it all happened he'd been reckoning with real life. Every day felt strange and every movement in his body felt foreign as he held the weight of what he and Yvette had encountered. Bizarrely, seeing her now had offered him a sense of comfort; it eased the weight of what he'd been carrying all this time because he knew she was carrying it, too. He wouldn't call himself an expert psychiatrist and he graduated from high school by the hair on his chin, but it felt something like being trauma-bonded.

So he was relieved, also peculiarly, that she'd told him the God's honest truth about not being okay. Because fuck, it was getting exhausting pretending like everything was normal. His eyes wandered around as he thought about how to answer her question. As relieved as he had been, he didn't want to make things worse. Once upon a time people looked to him as some sort of anchor, but lately he'd felt like anything but. It was unlike him to answer his little sister's calls and definitely unlike him to leave a shipment of his ma's pie to the outpost in the freezer, uneaten. Yvette was different, though. She somehow could read him despite the fact that they'd spent less than a week—maybe even five days?—together in total.

No point in lying, he figured. "Me neither. But I don't know what the hell we're supposed to do about it."

Eli let out a heavy sigh, reaching a hand up to rub the back of his neck. His gaze followed hers over to the memorial of Paloma, where her children sobbed and were comforted by family members and the town's residents. There weren't as many people here as there were at the first funeral, when the first attack was recorded. In fact, he remembered being unable to walk about the whole funeral home; it was as if every resident of Deadwood Peak was there that day. Now, he could count a few dozen. A result of the great fleeing, perhaps even a culling depending on whose perspective you were looking from.

"She waited on me a lot at the diner," he said, easing his hand away from the back of his neck and resting it on his hip. "Small talk, nothing too deep. But she was a good woman."

It had been a while since Eli sent Yvette an email. In fact, she was probably the last one to send any sort of correspondence in the past month or so. That was before the so-called animal attacks began in town. He'd hoped in earnest that maybe she would forget about him, forget about Deadwood Peak, forget about the monster—move on with her life. This wasn't supposed to be the sort of thing that consumed either of them, but especially her as she'd had a life outside of all of this. A hard-and-fast distance from this place, even if her sister's death meant she had to be connected somehow. His post at the watchtower meant this was inevitable; she'd had a choice, the way he saw it.

Maybe Eli had purposely avoided emailing her about the attacks because he wanted to wean her away from coming here. But obviously, it hadn't stopped her.

"How long you in town for? Where you stayin'?"

[vinkandpaint]

novicenouns

[reinvent-and-believe]

[s-grunge]

[jilyandbambi]

the other yellowjackets definitely unironically referred to Jackie and Shauna as "mom & dad"

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

The Spider And Her Demons

YA Australian urban fantasy/horror

about a Malaysian-Chinese girl who’s half spider-demon, just trying to keep her head down and survive high school

when she accidentally kills and eats a man in front of the most popular girl at school, they strike up a strange friendship and she starts to learn more about herself and the supernatural world

aroacespec/sapphic ish

[dancefloors]

it's so funny how people were shitting on you for saying the album was going to be about matty and it turns out you were right lmfao, how does it feel to be vindicated like this?

don't worry im being as annoying as possible about it. like I predicted this literally down to the fact that she reconnected w him / was emotionally cheating in 2022 and left Joe for him just to get ghosted by him and that he was the tortured poet in question. they hated jesus bc he spoke the truth

[kedreeva]

I love her little self soothing palp movement and how she tippity taps things.

Today was the first time she's been out in about 3 weeks- she holed herself up in a nice hammock to molt and just came out a week ago. I fed her once she kicked the molt out, and I've been sitting with her with the cage open daily since. Today she was brave!!

She's also practically doubled in size! She's SO big now compared to her i8 size. She's supposed to move into the bigger enclosure but I still have a few things to get and put in before she can go in, and she couldn't go in there until she was willing to come out of the sling box. I'm hoping she'll come out for a little daily now that she remembers it's okay, so I can move her in before her next molt.

[yunmeng-jiang]

that man does NOT think of wei wuxian as his gege

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

[frogsare-friends]

it's so funny how bi women in relationships with men are considered basically straight but bi women in relationships with women aren't considered basically lesbians. omg it's almost like biphobia and misogyny are connected

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm continuing my DAO replay and like....... are we just not going to talk about the fact that Anora's handmaiden is Orlesian?

I'm sorry, how did the Queen of Fereldan end up with an Orlesian handmaid? Did Loghain approve of that? Because I bet he sure didn't! Given everything about him, I bet he threw a real stink about that! And yet, Erlina is close enough to Anora to beg the wardens to save her after she's locked up by Howe, appearing entirely loyal to her.

So I broke out the World of Thedas vol2 to see if it said something in there about her and I couldn't find anything. All the wiki has to say is, "Erlina is the handmaiden of Queen Anora. Not much is known about her background but she apparently escaped from Orlais. Arl Eamon suspects that she is more than a simple servant."

Gee, ya think, Eamon?

I just find that to be a very interesting detail, one that has my theorist gears cranking and spinning.

[flammelikeshookdust]

The face of a man who didn't expect his gf to be into that sort of things, but who's trying to keep an open mind.

[stergeon]

at some point i will figure out how to write the post-canon, post-empire edelgard autonomy fic of my dreams. it just feels like a very big task and maybe like with playing the dane, i’m simply not old and traumatized enough to manage it yet.

but my vision is thus: it’s set years (realistically, decades) after the end of crimson flower, when everything has gone as right as it can possibly go. fódlan is thriving. the social reforms have taken effect. the nobility system is nearly eliminated, if not entirely so, with titles made merely symbolic. social mobility, welfare, and prosperity are high. there’s an explosion in arts and culture and technology. brigid and duscur have gained independence; relations with sreng and almyra are much improved; heck, maybe they've even figured it out with dagda. in my most idealistic version, leicester and faerghus would eventually be ceded back to become autonomous regions, essentially disbanding the adrestian empire. rule is no longer hereditary, but merit-based. there's a roadmap for the future, and everything is on track—and more than that, people at all points on the power spectrum have already seen it bear fruit. with or without edelgard, it will be pursued. there's buy-in. they believe.

of course, it's not perfect—nothing can be—but edelgard's vision has been fulfilled. the people are empowered. humanity is free. fódlan has healed.

and somehow, she's had enough time to resolve her goals outside of politics, too. those who slither in the dark have been eradicated. edelgard and lysithea's second crests have been successfully removed, allowing them to live if not full lives, then substantially longer ones than they would have with their twin crests intact. who knows—maybe she finally gets around to having that wedding.

point for point, every item listed in edelgard's manifesto has been checked off. the ghosts of her past have been laid to rest. she can finally take off her crown. she can finally pursue the quiet, humble life she's wanted for so long. she can finally breathe.

... but can she?

edelgard is nothing if not driven. her intelligence, vision, and sheer willpower allowed her to plan and execute a revolution against two countries and the most powerful institution on the continent, all while she was still a teenager. as royalty, her life was never truly hers even before she became heir to the adrestian throne, with all the additional baggage of survivor's guilt and the desire for vengeance and her need to ensure nothing that happened to her can ever happen to anyone else, ever again.

so what happens when that drive has no outlet? what happens when someone who has been constantly in motion, constantly working and planning and preparing every spare second of every day since she was fourteen years old, suddenly has to stand still? what happens when someone whose hands have been bound for so long—first literally in the dungeons of enbarr, then by the weight and responsibilities of her crown—is set free?

being edelgard, she would step away from the throne, no matter how hard it was for her to give up control. she's always been focused on the endgame, and she knows that if she doesn't let go, she'll be setting the wrong tone for fódlan's future. she's too devoted to that endgame to cling to power much longer than she needs to, though i could see her making some excuses and trying to iron out just a few more things to buy herself some more time to mentally prepare before she's done for good.

but who would she be then? who is the woman without the crown? what becomes of a machine once it is no longer needed, when it has made itself obsolete? what about when that machine is a person with legs and arms and an innate unwillingness to gather dust on a shelf?

what happens when you get everything you want? what happens when all your wanting has been for others to thrive, and now you have to want only for yourself? how do you discover who you are when you've spent decades being everything for everyone else? how do you find meaning again? how do you find purpose?

after a lifetime of devotion and passion and movement, how do you learn to sit with yourself, and be quiet, and be still?

gosh, i would love to meet her. i would love to pick her brain. but boy, i do not envy the work that girl has to do.