#she better get the respect she fucking deserves in the draft

[fiercynn]

i'm sorry even if you don't follow women's basketball i need you to watch angel reese declaring for the wnba draft

(here's the original tiktok and here's the vogue article!)

[inamindfarfaraway]

It's both funny and increasingly annoying to me when Hatchetfield fans associate Bill with Blinky, the way Paul is associated with Pokey and Ted with Tinky, but leave out Alice. She was there in Watcher World too! Her eyes were also purple! She was also controlled to try to kill her family! There is no way you can think of “Watcher World” without remembering Alice's equal involvement in Blinky's scheme.

I'd argue that she's a much better fit for Blinky's special human. He forms a grudge against her for insulting and disobeying him ("Fuck you, Blinky", "You'll be sorry"), just like Pokey's fixation on Paul because he defied him. She has a theme of watching going on herself, in contrast to Bill's naivety and obliviousness: being perceptive enough to notice the creepy, suspicious elements of Watcher World; trying to use observation as a tool to control Deb's behaviour, Blinky's modus operandi (though I personally like to believe that Deb didn't actually cheat and Blinky was tricking her); and having a connection with social media in general, which Blinky is thematically similar to and embodies the worst, most harmful elements of. She's deeply self-conscious, concerned with her reputation to her peers and has an anxiety disorder. The result that she's always worrying about how people see her and feels pressured to act in certain ways by that is exactly what Blinky wants in his prey, just like how Linda is Nibby's ideal hungry Honey Queen. She's interested in theatre and wants to be a playwright, to write shows where people will passively watch characters struggle and suffer for their own entertainment. Blinky creates live plays too - he even proudly says “Welcome to the show!" when the father and daughter's duel begins. She knows how to manipulate people by showing them what they want to see, giving her script draft a tragic ending for the queer main characters that's more likely to get it accepted in the discriminatory industry, when in fact she wants to change the ending once she has more power.

And she alone defeats her Lord in Black. Pokey assimilates Paul. Tinky breaks and owns Ted. Nibbly consumes Linda. Wiggly completely enslaves Linda and leads her to her death, and Wiley is unshakeable from his allegiance to him. But Alice? She overcomes the mind control, pushes through her panic attack, shoots Bliklotep in his all-seeing eye and goes home with her dad. And lets go of her independent issues with perception and image by putting down her phone.

She is so much like Blinky, and so much his perfect victim. Except that she wants happy endings. For the characters in her stories, for herself and for the people she loves. And she has the strength to make them come true. She's Blinky's equal and opposite. The hero to his villain. She can do everything he can, on a human scale, but she believes in happy endings.

I know the fandom likes the 'CCRP eldritch horrors’ favourites gang', and that is fun. But give Alice the respect she deserves! I see her as Blinky's Ted while Bill is his Pete; also a valued toy, but more by proxy than in his own right.

[ladyescapism]

jealousy - azriel

summary: A night on the town turns emotional for April's mate.

a/n: hey everyone! I was looking through some old drafts of mine and found this little piece of azriel angst with a HEO. hope you like it!

warnings: talk of insecurities, flirting with a person other than their partner

wc: 1,200

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were playing a dangerous name and you knew it. 

You could feel Azriel’s eyes boring into the back of your head as you flirted with the drunken male in front of you. 

Mor had convinced everyone to go out to Rita’s that night, except for Elain who was looking after Nyx. You and Az were not ones to go out partying, but Mor pleaded with you till you relented. And wherever you went, Az was sure to follow. 

This little game you were playing was payback for earlier that night when Az was approached by a female and allowed her to touch him. You knew in your heart that Az would never encourage her attentions, but your possessive side came out when it came to Az. And that whisper of jealousy had turned into an envious rage by the time Az managed to politely pry the female off of him.  

Not to mention the teasing, from all the brothers, didn’t help your annoyance with the situation. So, payback was an order. 

The bartender brought over you and Feyre’s drinks and you said good night to the male before you made your way back to the table. 

“Make a friend over there, Y/N,” Feyre asked, raising an eyebrow.

You just shrugged, making it seem like it was no big deal, even as you could feel the jealousy and anger coming down the bond from Az. 

Cassian broke into a grin and laughed at Az. “Payback’s a bitch.” 

You finally looked you at your mate, who was glaring down at you. “What,” you asked, feigning innocence. “I was just being polite.” 

Az just huffed a little and went back to his conversation with Rhys about something else. 

Now you felt bad. Like you took the game to far. Az was sensitive about you leaving him, about finding someone better. You were regretting the scene you caused, now thinking there was a big difference in him being a little too polite to some drunk girl and you going out of your way to flirt with another male in front of him and the rest of the Inner Circle. 

There were tears forming in your eyes as you thought about what you had done. 

Feyre stood up. “I need to use the lady’s room. Y/N, join me?” 

You nodded and got up quickly. 

When you got to the lady’s room, Feyre immediately pulled you into a hug. 

“What’s wrong? Why do you look like your about to cry?” 

“Because I think I just fucked up with Az and I don’t think a simple apology will be enough.” 

You went on the explain that you thought you went too far and how you felt like shit playing on his insecurities, especially in front of other people. Feyre just listened and assured you that you were not a terrible person. 

After you dried your tears, you and Feyre exited the restroom to find concerned hazel eyes waiting for you. 

Azriel was leaning up against the hallway wall but straightened when you came through the door. 

“I felt how upset you are but didn’t want to interrupt,” he said. “Are you alright?” 

You just looked at your shoes in shame and pressed your lips together to keep yourself from crying. He was such a good male and didn’t deserve someone who would hurt him on purpose. 

“I think you two have a lot to discuss,” Feyre said, sensing the tension. She reached out and patted your arm. “I’ll make the excuses.” 

“You want to go home,” Azriel asked, stepping closer and gently cupping your face. 

You nodded, not willing to explain yourself here. 

Azriel winnowed you away to the cabin you shared up in the mountains overlooking the city. It was close enough that you and him could still get to your respective jobs, but secluded enough that you were only visited occasionally. 

Azriel was still cupping your face as you felt the world steady beneath your feet and felt the warmth and smell of your home envelop you. Those warm, loving hazel eyes were still assessing you to figure out what was wrong but came up short. 

“What made you want to leave?” 

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, the guilt and shame about the realization of what you had done choking the sound. 

“Don’t be-”

“Not about leaving,” you cut him off. “About the flirting.” 

“You don’t have to be sorry about getting upset about some female flirting with me. I get the mate bond is filled with possessiveness. Trust me.” 

“Exactly,” you said, tears running down your face. “That female was flirting with you. That was not your fault and you delt with it in a reasonable manner. I got jealous and hurt you on purpose.” 

Az cocked his head to the side, and you stepped out of his arms. 

“I purposefully went over to that male and flirted with him to hurt you, to make you jealous or mad. And I did it in front of everyone.” 

You put your face in your hands. 

“I used a huge insecurity you have against you on purpose to hurt you.” 

You wiped your eyes and finally got the nerve to look at him. 

“When I realized what I had done, felt just how angry and jealous and inferior you were down the bond, I got so… angry at myself and ashamed of myself that I was tearing up. Feyre noticed and took me to the restroom to sort myself out.”

Azriel was staring at you with that gaze that could strip anyone bare. It wasn’t lust. But just cold assessment, trying to figure the person in front of him out. 

“So, I’m sorry,” you said again. “I never should have done that. I wasn’t thinking my actions through. I promise to never so something like that again. But please, please forgive me, Az. Please.” 

“You don’t have to beg,” he said. He moved to brace his hands on the back of the sofa, his back turned to you. You wanted to reach out and touch him, but you held yourself back. 

“Seeing you flirting with that male on purpose did make me angry. I didn’t think about you using my insecurities against me. It never crossed my mind that that was your intention.” 

“No,” you whispered. 

“I believe that you didn’t think your actions through and never meant for your actions to cut as deep as they did. But it doesn’t change what you did and how it made me feel.” 

He turned to face you. 

“I understand,” you said solemnly. “You have every right to feel that way.” 

“I can’t handle you doing that. So, if this becomes a continual problem, we are going to have more problems. The flirting or you using my insecurities against me in general. But, I can see that you know what you did, how it hurt me, and that your sorry.” 

“I am, Az. I really am.” 

“I know, baby. And I forgive you.” 

You could have cried with relief. You took the few long steps towards him and was met with his warm embrace. 

You wrapped your arms around him and held on as tightly as you could. His stubble scratched along your cheek as bend his head. You nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his cologne, something he hardly ever wore. His hands shifted from wrapping around your back to holding you hips. 

Releasing him from your grip, you moved your hands to his chest and looked up at him. Your wonderful, loving, forgiving mate. 

tag list:

@feysandzoyalailover @fanfictioniseverything

[trashlama]

Maybe hcs on yandere rise Donnie in a romantic way who falls for big mama assistant who praises his work ~ 

Donnie knows it’s wrong , but as Mikey always says the heart wants what it wants 

Which leaves to Leo and Raph to kindly tell him he’s being rash , ridiculous, not thinking clearly she’s working for the enemy, she gonna end up using you . 

Donnie doesn’t care tho , doesn’t he deserve to be happy , rewarded for saving New York , the world countless of times ! 

Reader better prepared herself there’s a storm coming , one she not prepared for ~ 😈

Donatello x Big Mama Assistant Reader? I gotcha ya'

At this point in the game Donatello is pretty used to people trying to take advantage of him. Purple Dragons, Big Mama, Master Splinter— basically anyone who throws the dude a compliment because they want to take advantage of him for his tech.

He's weak for that ✨praise✨

Despite being a genius intellectually, emotionally Donatello is easily manipulated into doing things. Like with the Purple Dragons and Master Splinter Donnie is eager to impress those he wants respect/praise from. Believing that if he gives/shows them how great he— his tech is they'll stay. They'll need him. Even if it's not exactly for him. As we find out in Donnie vs. Witch Town.

Praise is Donnie's form of reassurance that he is valued. Needed. To him aside from his tech he believes he doesn't bring anything to the team.

Soooo Donnie crushing hard for one of Big Mama's assistants because they compliment him? Sure I can see that.

Especially if you're literally just feeding his ego so you can retrieve some Intel for Big Mama to use against the Mad Dog's/or to her own personal advantage. Though I guess what you gotta be careful about is what happens when you ghost a turtle who is obsessed with you? Well you might just need to find out.

Sorry if it's a little OOC-ish, I rewrote this like ten times, initially with just head cannons, and then a one shot draft(several). Buuutt I kinda hated all of them sooo I posted the one I liked the most.

Probably should've re-read this more but I got work in the morning...

This takes places some months after the movie. Also check out the author's notes at the end for more!

I hope you guys enjoy it!

++++++++++++++

Fuck maybe Raph and Leo were right....

This might've been a bad idea...

Donatello was a prideful turtle. He didn't like admitting when he was wrong but, in this case scenario standing here under the beating lamps of Big Mama's Battle Nexus arena ten rounds into a seemingly endless fight. Donatello was starting to have second thoughts about his choice of just strolling up to the New Grand Nexus Hotel and negotiating with Big Mama. Somehow he should've anticipated this outcome. The jorogumo is notorious for adding twists to her deals. Especially when it came to her Battle Nexus. Nothing is as it seems with that british demon lady.

However somehow despite every rational bone screaming in his body to call off this arrangement, the possessive creature caged between his ribs refused. It wanted You. Donatello wanted You. The Yuki-Onna who strolled into the mutant's life all those months ago and infected his brain with your spoonfuls of honey coated poison.

The yokai who sang songs of praise and adoration that hypnotized the purple coded Hamato. Transfixed Donnie gave it all. Anything you asked for. It was yours, just don't abandon him.

Immediately Raph and Leo were on his case about the matter. Preaching about how he was just going to get used and dumped to the curb.

Mikey wouldn't say anything.

Donatello knew Mikey wanted to defend his brother's blossoming interest in love but, in those warm grey eyes it reflected back the youngest Hamato's inability to support this. It wasn't healthy. Donatello didn't need Doctor Feelings to tell him such. But he didn't care. Not until out of the blue you start ghosting the softshell. Long story short— he's devastated. 

All together your calls, messages, surprise visits stopped. For weeks there wasn't a sign from you and the lack of (Y/n) time was causing Donnie to go through remission. Like a junkie without a fix the softshell was losing his mind. Everywhere he searched at all hours. Day, night, anytime that his brothers weren't there to stop him from pursuing you. During your extended absence both his father and siblings would go on about how this was a good thing for him. Meanwhile Donatello felt like his world was falling to pieces. Patience chipped away every day he couldn't find you. Before the techno turtle knew it, half a month had passed and he found himself standing in the New Grand Nexus Hotel lobby requesting a meeting with Big Mama.

That's why he was here. To get you back. This is your fault that he's this way. Donatello was just a man of science before you came along and muddled up his rational brain. Now the purple clad Hamato was gonna make sure that you pay for it.

Standing tall once more the sound of the crowd and the stadium's intercom speaking finally broke through the ringing that was leftover from the previous match. Allowing the mutant genius to finally tune into Big Mama's message that was being broadcasted.

"—Ahhh my good patrons~ For our last-aroo match of the tourna-warna-ment we have a special guest star instead of the champion we had originally set.... Give her a warm welcome back everyone! (Y/n), The Snow-woman!~ " the eight-legged Battle Nexus owner announced cheerfully. The projection was cut not a moment later and presented on the opposite side of the arena before the Mad Dog was you.

The (h/c) woman looked just the way she did the day the yokai had sang goodbye for the last time. Pressed white kimono and cold (e/c) eyes. Not sparing a single look to the commotion from the crowd behind her. That deadly gaze was locked on him. Beautiful.

Had not been for the agreement that Donatello had struck up with the British spider demon Donatello would've just stolen you away right then and there.

Like the fog they pumped in for your dramatic grand entrance you glided down the champion runway. Not at all inhibited by the fickle geta you used to complain about. Time slowing down for Donatello the closer you crept towards the ring.

Once locked inside with him Donatello could feel a switch flip inside of him. At first he was so happy that you were actually here and not some false advertisement promoted by Big Mama to lure the softshell turtle into her Battle Nexus. Though as soon as the endorphins left his system the mutant's veins were flooded with a different kind of emotion. Possessive anger. How dare the snow demon just leave him like that. The Mad Dog had given her whatever she desired only for the woman to have the audacity to turn around and leave him after she ruined him like this. It's her fault the ninja turtle felt like this. The demon assistant needed to be held accountable.

Without warning catching the techie turtle off guard you bolted forward. Only allowing Donatello just a second to react in time to protect himself from the icicle blade that formed in your (Dominant hand) hand somewhere between your dramatic entrance and attack. Regardless of its origins, the elemental weapon held up against the thick metal of Donatello's tech-bo that he defended himself with. Not wasting any time the softshell shoved the Yuki-Onna off with his staff before returning the attack with some strikes of his own. From there the two of you traded blows.

Some length of time passed before you began to show obvious signs of fatigue. The combination of the heat radiating off the stadium's overhead lamps and the overexertion of your abilities weakened you enough that eventually all you had left to keep the purple clad Hamato away was the wave of ice that blew forth from your pouting blue tinted lips.

What a nuisance

Had you known all those months ago that you'd be back here in this damn Battle Nexus fighting for your freedom, you wouldn't have ever agreed to that seemingly straightforward task. Befriend the purple clad turtle, get some Intel on Baron Draxum(maybe more) and get out. Simple. Until it wasn't. Donatello was becoming too close, too demanding, too far gone in his own delusion of what he called love. So you dipped.

How ironic you left because you didn't want to deal with the turtle's possessive emotions only to end up fighting against said techie genius for your freedom. Damn Big Mama and her stupid whims. If you managed to win this match. You were for sure never going back to the eight legged entrepreneur. Didn't want to risk being placed in a similar situation like this again.

Rolling around all over the place like a RPG character in a boss fight Donatello manages to eventually draw closer to the defrosting Yuki-Onna. Timing it perfectly to slap a muzzle onto your mouth the sudden action catching you off guard causing you to stumble back. Clawing at the metallic restraint that retracted and locked around your jaw.

Seeing his opportunity Donatello knocks you down onto your ass before activating the electrical prongs in his tech-bo. In a swift move the mutant turtle held you down with his foot as he stabbed the ends of the built in taser into your stomach electrocuting you until your vision went dark.

The moment that it was declared the (h/c) haired woman was down for the count. From the surrounding stands a roar of excitement erupted within the colosseum all at once. The cheers of spectators barely drowned out only by Big Mama's announcement of the purple coded mutant's victory. Giddiness evident in the jorogumo's tone despite being out a helper.

However that was not what Donatello was concerned about.

Not wasting another second in hitting the button on his tech-bo allowing the contraption to retract into its small tubbing and to be put away. Leaving his three digit grasps open to scoop up his prize. Overwhelmed with finally having you in his grasp once again the purple coded Hamato completely forgets about his own battered state. Inky pools focused solely on the unconscious yokai that haunted his waking thoughts and dreams.

From behind him Donatello could hear the arrival of a group of footsteps. Standing up with your figure resting in his arms Donatello turns to face Big Mama as she struts towards your guy's battered figures. Two yokai bellhops following dutifully behind the spider demon boss.

" Fufufuh looks like some-bitty-body is a happy winner~ " the business woman teased as she approached. Stopping just in front of the two of you as she analyzed the scene with amusement.

" What a show! I'm soooo pleased that you were able to win dearie~ However there is still one little last itsy bitsy part of our deal you're forgetting~ " the spider demon chided playfully. Although her tone was its usual playfulness behind the lenses of her teal cat-eye frames the jorogumo held an impatient look.

"Oh how could I forget?" Donatello replied sarcastically as he released your legs holding you up against his plastron as his free hand reached back into his battle shell to grab his and your ticket out of this mad house.

" There. Everything I could find left over from Baron Draxum's lab that was salvageable " the softshell turtle said flatly as he threw the flashdrive towards the fox bellhop to the right of the Battle Nexus owner. The fox not wasting a second to handed the flashdrive over to it's boss.

"Splendid! Well~ you better get going young purple one. Yuki-Onna's don't respond well to heat and today is supposed to be terribly hot! Better hurry~" Big Mama warned whimsically as she began to walk away back towards the direction of her luxury skybox.

With that out of the way Donatello doesn't waste a second longer standing around in the middle of the Battle Nexus arena. Quickly the mad dog recollects your figure into his arms bridal style fleeing the Battle Nexus arena and hotel as quickly as possible.

Once out of the mob boss's reach back on the surface Donatello couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. He made it, he found you. The creature caged in his chest was pleased. Content that he has you at his side once again and this time the purple clad softshell was gonna ensure things would be different. He wasn't gonna let you leave him in shambles again. He was gonna make sure you needed him as much as he needs you.

After all it was like what Mikey said:

"The heart wants what it wants"

And his wanted you even if your's didn't want him.

++++++++++++++++++++++

¶¶ Author's Notes ¶¶

Guys so as I was writing this I was thinking about how the Kraang could've affected Donatello and Raphael in the long run.

Like obviously PTSD but what I mean is like cray cray wise.

Like both Raph and Donnir had fused with the Kraang Hive mind in some form or another.( Raph mind controlled/possessed, Donnie mind melded )

I'm just saying there's gotta be some sort of side effects from that experience. Like having a harder time differentiate between reality and hallucinations. Or possibly maybe their brains chemistry has been fucked up making them more aggressive/possessive? Idk

I'm thinking about writing/or elaborating further on this in a future post. Yandere scenarios of course.

I just got a lot to write but, you guys know me. I'm all over the place~

Anyways thank you guys for bearing with me and my rabbling. I hope you guys have a great day!

Thank you for reading!

Sorry this is long↓ I don't own these memes. I've never claimed to do so. I just come across them on Pinterest when I'm on break at work and think they're funny so I like to share them. If I mistakenly put one on here that I shouldn't have please let me know! I like to respect people's wishes. And if you could add the creator names too that would be great so the same mistake isn't made twice. Sorry for the inconvenience that my sharing may cause. I hope you have a good day.

[fluffykitteninabox]

watching Doctor Who for the first time (starting with the 9th doctor)

I'm only doing this because I've developed an unhealthy obsession with David Tennant since watching Good Omens, and I have a need to watch everything he's ever appeared in, and I know he's the 10th and 14th doctor so therefore I must watch 15 seasons of a show I otherwise wouldn't have cared about just to see him for 3 of them and a few specials!

I'm starting with the 9th because it seems like an easier starting point for a new fan from what I've read online

yes I've done research for this!

Plus the 9th doctor only got one season so it's close enough to the 10th that I don't mind watching it.

I am a completionist though so I will probably end up going back and watching the available episodes from before the revival if I like the series enough

so here's my thoughts

episode 1:

I hope we never see moving mannequins again because that shit creeps me out

honestly Rose, same. I too would have chosen the life of adventure and time travelling to infinite universes. Though I do think it felt kinda rushed to have her refuse and then immediately agree after she was told about the time travel part. Would be a cool opening if she refused on the first episode and then she spent the next one thinking about it and then changed her mind by the end. Or if we want to stick to the self contained structure show a bit more about her not liking her ordinary boring life so that it feels like a great offer when the doctor asks her to join him. I mean it does still feel like a great offer after she saved him and saying all that stuff about how she doesn't have anything to lose and gymnastics and all that. It's the back and forth that ruins it a bit honestly. Just have her say yes the first time.

I didn't know the tardis was an acronym! That's kinda cool

so is Rose never going to see her mom or her boyfriend again?

episode 2:

Alright I take it back she has doubts in episode 2 so that's good

that was a hell of an episode I don't know how to phrase it I think it changed my brain chemistry

I might be having an existential crisis?

respect to the tree lady I don't remember her name sorry

ironic how all these aliens exhibited more humanity than the supposed "last human"

kinda sad for the poor plumber that probably died too, we focused a lot on the rich guests but the workers on the ship deserved better

one thing I appreciate is that Rose chose to see the future. my personal choice would have been past but I think her choosing future is really in character for her (I say as if I've known her my whole life when I've only watched 2 episodes)

didn't expect to unlock the doctor's back story so early on. I'm guessing there's more later but for now that's already more than I thought I'd get

um yeah I was going to watch like the whole season in one or two sittings but like... I feel like my brain needs a break after episode two lol

well I was planning this post to have all my thoughts for season 1 but tumblr decided to go ahead and post my unfinished draft AGAIN even though I specifically clicked the SAVE button but anyway

guess I'll have to edit this or reblog as I go

whatever

fuck you tumblr

[springboggle]

The behavior of these people are so laughable like. I get hindsight is 20/20 and I also have regret over how annoying I used to be, but they have invented this thing called "doing things right the first time," it's a strain that's out there and you can and should smoke it, especially if you claim to love or respect someone.

"I wish I could've treated you better, wish we could've had a better ending" "I miss you, I'm sorry, I hope we can one day be friends." "Springboggle, are you happy? Therapy is always an option if you aren't..." like. Instead of feeling bad that you treated me badly and now I'm not around, you could've listened to me when I was around, and if not that then at least just not Do Weird Shit and expect things to be the same between us. What the fuck

These messages were unsent and I'm sure they were sent to the unsent project because putting your guilt/shame that you deserve on the person you fucked over is pretty bad, so I can't be too mad at my ex and who I now recognize as the weirdo that kickstarted my absolute hatred of indie giants and the art world. But my grandma calling me and throwing "go to therapy" in a sad way at my face after she told me to stay in Atlanta because shes kicking me out anyway, let the rain destroy my posters/zines from a mini con I went to+lost my old computer parts and my USB with my drafts on it (I still have my own copies thank goodness but uhhhh what if I didn't), and had a whole tantrum for hours one time because my room was stuffy and I left the window open...that's just like mental illness lmfao. I keep my remorse to myself, and you should too, especially if you're going to throw therapytalk into the mix???

[orange-ghost]

Long post? I've been thinking a lot about Sia's "Music" lately. No, I'm not trying to insult her. I'm talking about the film. Her diagnosis has been all over my timelines, and most people are condemning her for the film's content nonetheless.

I think all the other big Autism accounts have criticized her well enough that I don't need to add on. As they should. They've all said what I wanted to say & I personally won't be forgiving her so easily. But the "Music" fiasco... actually reminds me of how PAPERBOY (my webcomic) was born, in a way?

Matthew & his classmates have lived in my head since 2015. And I remember that when I started PB, I actually didn't know I was Autistic yet, either. At the time, all I knew was that I was a kid in Special Ed, that disability was an unspeakable topic, and that a lot of the people involved in it treated me badly.

Kids' brains are like sponges-- they soak up whatever's around them. And I was raised drowning inside of an awful program. One that didn't show nor teach us respect, acceptance, or anything like that.

I resented, looked down at "certain" kids with the more noticeable disabilities, for "making SPED kids look bad! You're the reason we ALL get seen as less than!" And the thought that I could ever really count as a disabled kid was my worst nightmare. Because in my head, being disabled would mean that all this abuse was justified. And that I was truly & utterly inferior.

And I'd wring out all that nasty thought-process water. It would spill onto the pages of notebooks that became PAPERBOY's first drafts. And oh, believe me, it stained.

But, unlike Sia, I was a kid then. She's grown. She also put that shitty story up for all to see, while mine was restricted to notebooks. And it was only a year or two after I learned about being diagnosed as a baby that the ND movement(s) started blowing up online. So I looked into it, and like... it opened my 14-year-old mind up a lot.

So you know what I started doing? CHANGING THE STORY. Writing a better one. One that was much less hateful. And I changed the core message from "fuck disability, and fuck Special Ed too!" to "being different is not something we should feel punished and pain for. We are a community. And we deserve better."

Autism is neutral & one if the most human things I can think of. It's not to be demonized or glorified. It's not a tragedy, and it's not always some amazing miracle, either. We are people, not props. We deserve to be spoken & storytold about realistically. And we should be embraced at the end of the day. You need to be willing to learn how to listen & respect life's Autistics as they are.

Sia can't undo the real life harm she & her ableism inflicted. I can't, either. But... she CAN choose to change, grow up & out of it, and maybe lead her audience with her. Hopefully, with her new diagnosis, all that time offline, and a crap ton of self-reflection, she can. I mean, I managed, and I'm nowhere near as life-experienced, smart, OR skilled as she is!

Truth be told, I kinda hope she makes another Autism movie? With a big writing team of experienced, Autistic storytellers who know what they're doing. Cast Autistic actors. And instead of writing about somebody that she clearly doesn't see as an equal, she can actually level with them & write them a better story, too. "Music" was dedicated to somebody, right? I think that Somebody deserved a story where they're not just seen, but they're heard. And spotlighted! (Music certainly wasn't.) So... why not try again?

Or hey, maybe not even that, maybe she can try writing from her own experiences as an Autistic woman this time. Growing up undiagnosed, what that was like for her, dealing with a taught self-hatred in a mask that seems to have controlled her life.

I don't know. I like to live my life focusing more on what we CAN do about something instead of doubling down or getting stuck on what we can't. And I think others should, too.

Doubt she's reading this, but like... you've gotta make this right, Sia. Do better. Figure something else out. That's all.

[sampirism]

ok this has been in my drafts long enough lets set this bird free

FF16 critical, FF16 spoilers, obligatory "I didn't hate the game" disclaimer

I don't write often, especially critical writing, but I can't contain my feelings. Part 1 of ??? with this post focusing on Jill. any character related to my favorite summon deserves better (we stan shiva ... we live laugh love shiva... though ffx is still my fav design by far !! <3)

I can't tell if she falls flat and has little to no personality, or if she gets so little screen time and is largely overshadowed by other characters... but I'm having trouble coming up with words to describe her other than "polite"! We see real anger in her maybe twice? It's maybe not great if I can describe minor characters' personalities in more words.

Being enslaved and abused for 13 years, you'd think she would be. um. Less well-adjusted as she is? and I'm not saying that because I believe everyone processes trauma in the same way (they don't), but because when you actually go to the Iron Kingdom, she gives you a speech on how she "stopped feeling things" in order to process what she was forced to do. But we only see how her enslavement affected her once, really, and it's her rage in speaking to the leader of the Iron Kingdom or whoever he was. I felt like there was fundamentally no difference between the personalities of child!Jill and adult!Jill, when thirteen years of slavery and forced killing maybe seems like it would have an impact on someone.

At least she gets to kill her main abuser herself. At the rate her and Benedikta had been treated by the writing, I fully expected Clive to do it for her!

Ultimately, I feel any possible personality was thrown in the garbage because she is LOVE INTEREST. She is... sanitized. Jill is here to Support Clive. She must be NICE. She can wield a sword and magic (literally a Shiva dominant), but never as effectively as any of the males! We save this girl THREE. TIMES. Once, at the beginning, when we're there to kill her but oops we actually know her so we're going to grab her instead-- that's fine. Second, when somehow the world's Biggest Man sneaks up on her and has a knife to her throat? It seems cheap and I think we could have gotten to killing Kupka without throwing Jill into the Damsel in Distress role again.

When we're fighting Bahamut, Clive and Joshua turn into their respective Eikons... and what the fuck is Jill doing? Is she just standing there watching with Anabella? You're Shiva, girl, are you just enjoying the show? From a narrative standpoint, it's supposed to be about Clive and Joshua reuniting as brothers and doing their Steven Universe Fusion so fine okay whatever but it is hilarious to think she is just STANDING THERE. At least she expresses anger at Anabella and threatens her with a weapon. At least.

She does PROTECT Clive, twice, as Shiva. Once in the Iron Kingdom, to stop Lava from Lava-ing, and when she gets kidnapped for the Third Time, creating an ice wall to stop Odin from chasing Clive. It cuts to black and I'm not upset that she lost to Odin because he's megastrong ATP, but because this is now the third time we have to rescue this girl.

Bro. There's this one scene in the penultimate main quest chapter where enemies basically are dying in one swoop to each person, turning into aether, and I was so in tune to the way these characters were being written that I clocked this very easily. But Jill. JILL STOPS AN ENEMY WITH HER RAPIER, BUT IT NOTABLY DOESN'T DIE. IT FALLS DOWN BUT GETS BACK UP TO BE STABBED BY CLIVE A MINUTE LATER. JILL???

Despite being a Dominant of Shiva, I feel like we are just constantly reminded of how she is not as strong or powerful as the rest of the male cast. And inevitably, because this is the core gameplay mechanic, she gives up part of her power to empower Clive. I can sort of take solace in the fact that she wasn't fridged for it? But the whole scene where she gives it to him, I don't even know if either character completely understood why they felt he needed her Eikon???

I would perhaps be less irritated about this if Jill had any perceivable personality flaws, or if she was more visibly angry/upset at the literal god awful miserable world they live in. At least.... she didn't die! I GUESS

[idkbishsss]

my review of the mandalorian so far (I’ve seen 5 episodes, and got spoilers for ep6 why drafting and this up)

It okay.

I definitely think so lines here and there need work. I’ve definitely liked all the cameos/references, but that’s because I’m just a fuckin’ nerd-

it’s my least favorite season so far, but I don’t think it awful

Don’t take my word for it, because I could watch anything SW related and like it. The power of hyperfixations baby!

I also don’t have the same opinions with most people. My marvel opinions would probably offend a lot of people. I also don’t set high expectations for anything in case they don’t met it.

Going to be honest, they did just throw away a few plot points though. Like the fuck happened to the people in ep3? They lost the plot point.

First two episodes are the best so far. I think episode 3 is the worst. It’s not because I don’t like the episode, but because they did nothing with that plot so far.

Episode 5 also isn’t my favorite, I definitely think they could have done a better job at establishing the pirates a little better. Yet I do still like the action and I think the ending with Bo is good. I think she deserves it, I don’t think Din would want that. As much as people are mad at the fact that she can take hers off and Din can’t.

I just think he would rather not have to bring all the mandos together. I actually wouldn’t mind if next season it’s just him chilling with Grogu as his friends come for aid.

I wish that it was more about Mandos and not the new republic. Yet I think it’s setting up some conflict for the end of the season. I also think that that this could have been the last season and then the just do a Bo-Katan show to show the rest.

But the show is called “The mandalorian”. I think that it’s trying to be about mandalorians as a whole, not just din. (I still think they should add more din)

I LOVE ZEB

I definitely have some theory’s on what’s going to happen.

I definitely love The Armorer and Bo stuff:}} (even if it’s not canon)

And there’s a lot i love, but hate get more traction on the internet.

Now I’m going into what I hate

WHY ARE THEY DOING ALL THIS SHIT FOR US TO LIKE BO KATAN?!?!?

the only people who don’t like her are people who haven’t watched Rebels and the finale season of tcw series. I feel like they setting her character back. Just trying to undoing character development.

I talk about this perversely, BUT WHAT WAS EPISODE 3!?!? I liked that episode when it came out, but all that O U T T H E W I N D O W. They aren’t doing anything with the plot point. Also it’s just a set up for the fall of the new republic! Which would be good, if I didn’t want the sequels UNTOUCHED. Leave them alone, you made mistakes. Run and bury those why you still can!

If it was another show? Yes it work! It’s was working when the had Moff. It was still with the plot, yet didn’t feel forced.

Din feels like he just exists. Add some conflict, make him pissed that he can’t walk both ways or something. Even if I hate that, it’s still something. It can also be explained well. He feels like his entire life he’s respected the way, but he doesn’t like that the rules are different. He had so everything for the way, he was kick out for “disrespecting” it. Make him want to walk both ways at the end of the story because of this!

also i just know they are going to do Paz is the one all pissed. Please add Din to the story again, I beg you.

And, make one episode, centered around Mandos. Without anything else. I don’t care if it’s past. I don’t care if it’s wholesome or not. I don’t care if din doesn’t even show up. Just do an episode for Mandos (I know ep4 exists okay, but I need more then that-)

Also don’t give Bo-Katan the dark saber PLEASE

Like that she went against an empire, and that’s not really easy to beat. I don’t blame her, i think any Mando could fall to that.

But I just think that it should be someone else. Maybe not Din, but definitely not Bo-

-gets spoilers for Ep6-

…IM GOING TO RUN OFF A CLIFF-

What? Why? HOW?

First! JACK FUCKING BLACK ACCORDING TO MOST

SECOND, what did I say? Make it about mandos not the fucking CLONE WARS?!?!

Look I love Bo, BUT GOD NO. NO

well at least according to a few we got dumb ass lovable Din back:) (I’m also sure there’s good things about the episode)

I lied. I hate this show (I’m sure with in a few days I love it again-)

Edit: I saw someone say ep6 just should have been an entire season it’s self. I have a feeling it not bad, just overwhelming.

[grey-eyed-menace]

Contacts

[Others Phones]

—————————————

Lucifer - Miss Kobashigawa [Is he a basic bitch? Yeah, he's the most basic of bitches. If they were in a relationship it'd be something a little more endearing like 'My Love'.]

Mammon - Girlie [Another basic bitch! This, however, is sweeter then most, and is just typically his go-to nickname for her, once he falls hesd over heels, however, it tends to cycle through increasingly sickening endearments.]

Leviathan - Absolute Terror [Akatsuki wants to ride him like a horse, this isn't a sectet, he really wishes it was. Later changes to the cuter 'Pintsized Henry' once they pass the threshhold of 'Oh My God, This Girl Is Insane' and 'Well, I Didn't Know I Was Into That' respectively.]

Satan - The Brat [Don't let the title fool you, he's into it.]

Asmodeus - Pretty Thing [Is it considered poor taste that the first thing he noticed about her was her legs? Because it was most certainly her legs and how much he wanted to see them wrapped around someones hips, preferably Solomon's.]

Beelzebub - Must Feed [She needs to be fed Goddammit! She weighs like half an ounce in his opinion and that's not a viable state of being with him.]

Belphegor - Child-Sized Pillow [No thoughts, only warm and snuggly, and bed. Akatsuki is indigent by the contact name.]

Diavolo - Little Queen [Can... can he not? The crush makes her incredibly uncomfortable on a good day.]

Barbatos - Flight Risk [Solomon is labeled as 'DON'T LET NEAR KITCHEN' for comparison. Akatsuki is just liable to get lost in the market district of the capital if she gets overwhelmed by a date or something.

Phenex - Human Roommate [Lucifer is 'Bitchfest' and Satan is 'Baby Slug', Akatsuki considers this a decent middle ground, all things considered.]

Marchosias - Angelkin [She literally only knows that she's Lilith's descendant once she shows up.]

Morax - Buffet Breakfast [He's a Gluttony Demon, and willing to extract pity from small human women who're a little turned on by the fact he's larger then Diavolo.]

Murmur - Mams Weirdo [Fair, fair, she's 'Mammon's Little Bitchbaby' which she finds hilarious.]

Malthus - The Only Normal Person In This Shithole [A fair assessment. Akatsuki has him as 'The Reasonable M'.]

Mephistopheles - Belphegor's Little Toy [Is he a bitch? Yes, yes he is. At least Akatsuki returns the sentiment by having him labeled as 'Marchosias Boytoy'.]

Simeon - Mammon's Charge [Is eventually changed to 'Tiny Betrayer' once he gets a better feel for her. It's what she deserves for the Matchmaking Shenanigans.]

Luke - Miss Akatsuki [Little Brother privileges, thus, no, he's not a basic bitch, he's a cute baby in need of hugs.]

Raphael - The Human [As appropriate for the fucker, he honestly couldn't give much of a fuck about her until Lesson 80.]

Solomon - Littlest Apprentice [Was, originally, 'Littlest Bitch'. She considers this the best alternative.]

Spade Hambleton - Solomon's Newest Victim [A fitting title, Akatsuki can't help but admit.]

Diana Hambleton - Only Ally [Same as above. Akatsuki is so very grateful for this woman's existence.]

Thirteen - Cheater [Fair enough, she supposes...]

Rupert - Sloth Prince's Property [She's notably pissed by this one.]

Alfred - Diana's Charge [They haven't spoken whatsoever beyond greetings in my drafts.]

Eirny Hambleton - Absolute Child [No one wants to ask about this one, to be honest, because Eirny and Bridget don't have children.]

Bridget - Sweetling [Bridget thinks she's absolutely adorable.]

Humphrey - Anomaly [He hasn't got much of a read on her.]

Kobashigawa Hinata - Akatsuki [She doesn't care enough to personalize it. And the last conversation had in their texts was three years ago in universe.]

Kobashigawa Katsuhiko - Second Granddaughter [He's a simple bastard, thankfully, which Akatsuki is grateful for.]

Kunugi Kisuke - Least Favorite Niece [This title is a lie, she's his favorite for the fact they've never had an actual at length conversation beyond awkward eye contact and humming acknowledgements.]

Kunugi Aiko - Little Aka-chan [She and Kazuhiko were best friends as children, and she knew her as a child... Akatsuki does not remember her. Whatsoever. Which is actually very telling about her priorities as a person when you realize Minato can actually explicitly refers to her as his aunt, you know, the kid who looks like a carbon copy of his father.]

Yanagi Seimei - Number Four [He has a list, what this is list is anyone's guess, but she's number four on it.]

Kunugi Sorahiko - Pocket Sized Friend [He thinks she's adorably small, and must be appreciated as such.]

Kunugi Chiasa - Seimei's Rune Expert [Chiasa isn't even peripherally aware of her first name, which fair, Akatsuki is only vaguely aware that Sorahiko's siblings have first names to begin with.]

Yanagi Sakuya - Akatsuki-nee [He's a simple kid, and Akatsuki likes cute kids. So, big sister status.]

Takagawa Mirai - World Dominator [A seer. He's convinced she's the future Queen of the Devildom. Or, like a consort, he's not entirely wrong considering she's regularly fucking Belphie as of Season Two.]

Takagawa Shiori - Stranger Danger [No one knows how they met, only that it involved a lot of screaming, and Akatsuki maintains that the groping was an accident, damnit.]

Kasamatsu Kin - Little Miss Artist [He's a simple fool, thankfully.]

Hirabayashi Atsuko - The Only Good Senpai [She learned JSL for her partner, so even graduated nearly seventeen years, at one point, she's still the best Senpai she has ever had the pleasure to have.]

Hamasaki Yuuya - Atsu's Friend (Treat NICELY!) [She learned JSL for him, she deserves headpats in his book, plus she makes Atsuko happy and she means the world to him.]

Myoujin Uri - Miss Doom And Gloom [Akatsuki... didn't really have friends in highschool. Not truly anyway, Uri thinks this is cute, Akatsuki is just frustrated that this seems to be the most remarkable thing to her.]

Omoi Kyouya - Nightstalker [They only ever met during the night, and she scared the ever loving shit out of him every time.]

Kobashigawa Kiyomizu - Baby Cousin [Basic Bitch number five, although, probably one of the weirder basic bitches honestly.]

Shimizu Hinako - Sad Witch-Girl [Short and to the point, also, it's technically the truth once they meet, as Akatsuki is under Solomon's apprenticeship by then.]

Sakaguchi Yukiko - Absolute Baby [She's her niece, of course she's allowed this. Besides, she really wants to bite her cheeks.]

Kobashigawa Yutaka - Little Akatsuki [It's embarrassing how in love he is, terrifying really, but mostly pathetic. From my point of view at least.]

Kurama Suzuki - Crisis Aversion [Yutaka's legal fianceè since Akatsuki left the Kobashigawa family, and completely in love with her three attendants who are not Yutaka, she only has her number because she absolutely has plans to escape this marriage and run away into the sunset with enough money to buy a house and settle down out of the country.]

Yamada Jun - Good Bean [The only relative he still talks to at all, it's, again, not unfounded. The extended Kobashigawa family is made up of absolute assholes on a good day.]

Sasaki Minato - Maybe Sister? [Their families deserve to have a reality television show honestly, it's a shame the producers would want to kill both sides within twenty-four hours, it would be sad, if increadibly entertaining.]

Ryuzaki Yukito - Demon Land Lady [Is convinced she's the one who owns the Serenity Mansion Property and the brothers are her annoying tenants, he's wrong, but it's not unfounded.]

Kurama Akio - Aka-chan [She's the perfect size for an impromptu little sister that he can annoy. Nevermind the fact that's she's got two years on him.]

Kurama Yuuki - Kobashigawa-san [Yuuki is a polite young woman, gentle to a fault, and she respects Akatsuki very greatly. Also, it means she didn't have to put up with the Devildom in her place, so, win-win!]

Kurama Shinobu - Kobashigawa Akatsuki [The Original Basic Bitch on the topside of things, he's known her since late grade school and hasn't ever changed her contact of his voliation.]

Louise Anne-Marie Sebastian - Tsu 😑 [She thought it was cute nickname, and the emoji is a accurate representation of Akatsuki's default state of being.]

Ubuyashiki Riku - Wannabe Wednesday Addams [Revamped Sora is not kind, and Akatsuki does not often inspire thoughts of rainbows and puppies.]

[flying-elliska]

tidbits from the webinar with Leigh Bardugo :

- With her writing, she wants to show there isn’t one kind of strong female character, that there are lots of different ways to be badass, among men as well. You don’t have to be super tough or a brooding dickhead. She wants to show fantasy doesn’t have to belong to one type of hero (white able bodied straight guy). She mentioned jk*r and seeing the heartbreak among her readers and thought she never wanted to be a part of causing that. Ppl talk about diversity as an artificial construct but it’s just...how the world is, and it’s how you tell a better story. When they announced they were casting a half-Asian Alina ppl were like  ‘why don’t you want her to look Russian’ and she was like ??? “have you ever looked at Russia on a map ?”. And borders are porous, there isn’t a firm line/wall in reality, and in the world of the series, in the border town near Shu Han Alina comes from, people are doing business with each other, falling in love across the border...it’s just what naturally happens.

- The Crows in this first season of Shadow and Bone are not the same as when we meet them in Six of Crows, they’re not quite as badass yet. We are getting some of the backstory that is in the books but not all of it, they wanted to keep some for next season (hopefully)

- You cannot write about thugs and thieves without being aware of the social/economic/political dynamics that created them

- When writing a book, she often starts in one place and ends in another, with Six of Crows she started wanting to do a fun blockbuster-y fantasy heist romp and then Kaz Brekker was ‘riding his brother’s corpse to freedom’ lmao

- Advice for writers : research can be dangerous, it’s easy to get lost and stay away from the draft. for shadow and bone she gave herself two months to really get lost in research, look into folklore, old cookbooks, to really get into the vivid details.

- Writing short stories is a really good way to better your writing

- To get somewhere you have to be bad at things. The bad days when you’re in a process are a good sign, because you are trying to do something bigger than you’ve ever done before. She had to learn to sit with the discomfort of not being good when she started writing.

- Writing process : beat sheet with main elements > zero draft, in which there is still discovery left about the characters. Everybody’s process is different, the key is to finding yr own. The process of writing a novel is so long, you have to be in love and stay in love with that idea, remind yourself what made you excited about it in the first place, and wait for the moment where you fall back in love with it. If you get haunted by another idea that won’t go away you can wonder what appeals to you about it and you can put it in your current project.

- The greatest gift you can give yourself is to finish a draft. When you’re stuck, go for a walk and talk to yourself (you can put in earphones to not look crazy lmao). Or shift POV. As a writer a critical voice is often what blocks you. You need to remind yourself that the first draft is going to be bad and you have to let it be, you’re telling the story to yourself, it’s fine to have placeholders and go back.

- When you’re a young writer the important thing is that you keep being in love with writing, there is no expiration date on your talent. When you’re in prep school mode, you’re told your value is in being young and brilliant, at some point you’re not the youngest one in the room anymore, you’re no longer the wunderkind, but that’s not where your value is. You still have a story to tell.

- She says she is a mix of Kaz (because she uses a cane, she’s a planner and she keeps a grudge for a long time) and Nina, or at least Nina is who she would like to be, the best part of her.

- She likes writing about women who get their revenge.

- Ketterdam treats people as commodities and expendable, it’s the protestant work ethic taken to extremes, and so ppl like Kaz and Inej are going to have the experiences they had. She didn’t want to do misery tourism, it was very important to approach these with caution and do a lot of research. She found it important to donate to organizations linked to things she has written about, so like against trafficking when she was writing Inej’s backstory. Writing those backstories were some of the most harrowing stuff she ever wrote as a writer. The scene with Kaz and Inej and the bandages was probably the hardest scene she’s ever written, she wanted to be respectful of what those two characters had been through, she’s written a lot of versions of that scene. It’s fun to talk about ships but she doesn’t want trauma to be ‘healed by love’, it wouldn’t feel respectful, the journey towards healing is a slow one, you backslide, etc.

- She struggled a lot writing Crooked Kingdom, she was kind of in a burnout, and wondered afterwards if it even was good. Importance of the drive to get better so you don’t stay static.

- She loooves a slow burn and had to put the brakes on the show writers several times lol when it came to kissing and such.

- Her fave episode of the show is episode 7

- She likes giving the names of her friends to characters bc they supported her so much during the writing process

- The first books are generally the easiest to write because you can throw your ideas at the wall and see what sticks, you can kind of do what you want, and after that in following books you have a lot more threads to pick up.

- Pet peeve : people talking about how this character didn’t “deserve” this : in her experience the people who deserve to go don’t and often the loving kind ones are those who lose, she’s experienced a lot of loss in her life, and she’s not going to write a book about war and danger without being honest about how these things go, it would feel disingenuous. She’s not going to stop killing people (lol).

- One fan talked about how she felt really helped by Nina being a curvy girl who is presented as charming and confident and very lovable. Leigh talks about how she’s been a lot of different sizes, she heard there was a famous author saying disparaging things about her weight and disability behind her back, she was like that’s not even original, and actually fuck being ashamed of that, she wants the culture to change and wants to participate in that. She wants it to be known that she is a very successful, adored fat woman with a partner who helps her up stairs, she also wants fans to know that they’re so much more than their appearance. (that moment was so badass, it reminded me of Kaz giving advice to Wylan about his disability)

- Our culture is garbage and you’re at war everyday with the people who want to make you feel bad about yourself so you buy things. Find people who make you feel strong and amazing, who don’t just tolerate you but who think you’re the best.

Anyway this was a really cool moment honestly, it made me even more of a fan.

[mymarifae]

i've been reading your fic and i really adore your writing!! im trying to get better at it myself right now do you have any tips?

oh thank you !!!! that makes me happy i'm glad people like it so much despite the absolute silliness and seeming ooc-ness of it... (bc yeah i Know what happens in the first chapter seems bizarre for toya to do. only thing i can tell you irt That is chapter four is titled "in which An decides she wants to run over Toya with a bicycle") BUT UM anyway. advice...

hm. a big part of learning to become a better writer finding your inner voice. and i can't exactly help you with that aspect. but i suppose i have some suggestions for what to keep in mind when writing...?

- first and foremost: read (and write!) things other than fanfiction. there's nothing wrong with fanfic. it's fun and it's a unique form of literature and i think it does deserve love and respect or whatever. but when it comes to fanfic, you're going into these stories already familiar with the characters and the settings, even in the case of a huge AU riddled with OCs. it doesn't require you to stretch your imagination very far. it's important to expose yourself to other kinds of literature, too, so you can learn from them and improve your imagination and critical thinking skills

- show, don't tell - but don't be overly descriptive either. when you write, you must trust your reader to work with you and use their own knowledge to make your story come to life - writing is a team effort between You and anyone who may read your words! people know grass is green, the sky is blue, trees are... trees, etc. unless you're describing a world where these things aren't true, you. don't need to spend time establishing them. you can write the word "forest" and your readers will know what to imagine. and as tempting as it may be to, for example, flex your prose skills to describe the gorgeous gradient of a romantic sunset for 3 paragraphs, unless it serves to move the story forward or reflect your characters' emotions and thoughts, you don't need to. and i strongly recommend just cutting anything like that out because i guarantee people will just skim or skip over it all together.

overly detailed descriptions will come off as patronizing and alienate your reader. draw their attention to the things that matter - they'll fill in the rest. trust me.

- simple language is not a bad thing. don't pull out a thesaurus. don't fucking do it. put it back. you don't need to replace every instance of "said", "big", or...whatever simple word that some tumblr user told you is #bad to use too frequently in your writing. now if you've said the word Big like 28 times within two paragraphs and it wasn't on purpose, you probably need to revise .

but like. seriously. use the words already in your vocabulary. your readers will notice when you've used a thesaurus for a "fancier" synonym. and if you want to expand your vocabulary because you genuinely feel like your word choice is stale, go read some books (not fanfiction)

- in the instance of said especially. don't fret too much over how often you use it. it's like a filler word. it helps break up strings of dialogue so your reader can keep track of who is saying what. if you're constantly trying to find words to use instead of 'said' when said literally works perfectly fine, you're not going to get anything done AND your dialogue is going to come out as clunky and awkward because of unnecessary words being shoved where they don't belong

it's a fine line between letting your readers read a conversation between characters peacefully and actually overusing the word said. but you'll get the hang of it

- the first thing you write down will suck. you will not be happy with it. read this and accept it right now. too many people get hung up over first drafts riddled with mistakes. just write and get the basics of the story down before you lose it - you can go back and edit and revise any time and as many times as you need.

- learn grammar rules, and then learn that grammar is arbitrary and you can break these rules whenever you want for the impact. you'll notice in and what's a little kiss between bros? i've done this a few times. idr all of them anymore but like

But Toya really really really really does not need to know about that.

obviously commas are Supposed to go in between each of those really's. but i didn't put them because a comma denotes a slight pause and i didn't want a slight pause and smushing them all together like "reallyreallyreallyreally" would have been too fast. don't go overboard (but there are exceptions even to this so...?) but remember you're allowed flexibility with words and punctuation and sentence and paragraph structure

- writing is hard. don't be discouraged when the words don't come out. you're manipulating language to conjure consistent images in different people's heads. this is an incredibly difficult thing to do. be patient with yourself. if you have to write something insanely bare bones to establish a point before moving onto the next one, then like... do it.

i'm serious. and what's a little kiss between bros? was like. not even joking, the part i call chapter 2 now started off as "Mizuki gets to school and after talking to Toya, they figure out Akito is on the roof. They go there and confront him."

and then i moved onto their conversation, which came out pretty okay the first time. the beginning of chapter two, up until akito and mizuki begin talking, is like... 2.4k words. it started off as a mere 23. this is what i mean when i say just... write the first draft without worrying about how it looks. put down what needs to happen, and you can pretty it up later. you can pretty it up 15 times if you need to

- have fun. or else.

[bakugosbratx]

Hi hi! Congratulations!! 🎊

Could I please request a fic with Eren or Levi and could they have some yandere tendencies? Like they’re too protective, gets jealous easily, would absolutely fuck you until you’re screaming so that the guy who’s been checking you out heard?

NSFW 18+ Let them hear you — Yandere Eren Jeager x Reader

Warning: 18+ Content. Sexual content, bdsm, degrading, unprotected sex, oral, non-con, abuse, possessive, toxic relationship, gaslighting, Jean abuse, punishment, violence, etc.

Words: 1.9k

Check out my other works here

A/N: Hey love. Thank you so much for the request! I hope it meets what you are looking for. I am only on the third season so I apologize in advance for anything that seems uncanny. Enjoy.

P.S. I am still on break but I am trying to complete some request that have been sitting in my drafts. I miss y’all and will be back before y’all know it. Thank you for all the love and sweet messages.

“Eren, what are you—“

“Shut the hell up, Y/N.” Eren seethed through gritted teeth as he pulls you along. The death grip on your poor arm is making you cry out in pain. This only infuriated him more.

You did nothing wrong. You were eating your lunch with Mikasa when Jean strolled on over. It is not a secret that Jean likes you. Everyone knows that Jean likes anyone with a pulse. You have told the man multiple times that you are not interested — along with Eren — and you have a boyfriend, but it does not stop the man from trying. Especially when Eren is busy.

“Hello Y/N.” Jean greeted with a flirty smile. Your eyes couldn’t help but roll.

“Hello Jean.” You sigh as he sat across you two.

“What’s with the sad face, pretty thing? Eren got you down?” Jean chuckled before taking a bite of his sandwich.

You scoffed. “Me and Eren are doing just fine, thank you very much.”

“Well, your face says otherwise. If you ask me, I’d say you can do better than that douchebag anyways—“ Jean’s spill got interrupted with a hard punch to the side of the head then another one to the nose. Gasp filled the room as eyes landed on who did this to the man. No one was surprised to see it was Eren himself.

Eren grabs Jean by the collar of his shirt, lifting him up to meet his height. Eren’s natural blue eyes were filled with rage. “You son of a bitch. Why the fuck are you flirting with my girl, Jean? She told you more than once she’s not interested.”

Jean manages to release himself from Eren’s grip, stumbling to keep his balance. This is not the first time these two have had altercations with one another.

“Ha, you don’t see the way she looks at me. Besides,” he pauses to wipe the blood leaking from his nose, “she was totally flirting with me.”

“Bastard!” Eren bellows as he goes to attack again, but the higher ups stop him along with you and Mikasa.

“Eren, stop.” Mikasa and you demand, hanging onto his arms.

“Let go of me! I’m going to make that son of a bitch pay.”

“That’s enough, Jaeger.” Captain Levi scolds. Eren snaps out of his rage to meet the small man’s eyes. “In my office. Now.”

Though Eren is still angry, he still knows when to show respect. Especially when it comes to the higher ups. Everyone in the room knew this.

“Yes, sir.” Eren sighs, still breathing heavy.

“Eren,” You began with sorrow filled irises. Though this is in no way shape or form your fault, you cannot help but feel the guilt within your bones. If only you would have done more than maybe Eren would not be in this situation.

Eren just glared down at your small frame compared to his, clearly not happy with you. It was a look you know all too well and you know you will be in for it later. Your heart pounded against your ribs at the thought.

“We’ll talk later.” Eren hissed before following Captain Levi to his office.

Jean did not mess with you for the rest of the afternoon. Eren was sent to clean up the horse stables while the rest of the team did their chores. Eren made sure to have his eyes on you anytime you were in close proximity. His glare was one you always refused to meet with your own two eyes. It made you feel small. Just like how Eren wanted.

Your anxiety has been through the roof all day. No one can blame you, though. Eren is a loose cannon on a good day. So, your super barely being touched was noticed, but not discussed amongst your peers.

Strong hands touched your shoulders. You jumped out of reflex. Looking up, you see your boyfriend looking down at you.

“Eren!” You exclaimed with joy and fear. He noticed both emotions.

“Follow me.” Eren orders, patting your shoulder more rough than he should have. You did not even have time to comply as his hand snakes around your bicep and pulls you along.

“Eren, you’re hurting me.” You whine as he pulls you towards the closest bedroom available.

“Eren, what are you—“

“Shut the hell up, Y/N.” Eren seethed through gritted teeth as he pulls you along. The death grip on your poor arm is making you cry out in pain. This only infuriated him more.

Slamming the door open, he ushers you along inside and swiftly closed the door behind him. Your hand wraps around your now warm, pulsating arm. You can feel the heat from Eren’s glare down onto you. You start to tremble.

“Eren, I—“

“I said shut the hell up, Y/N.” Eren growls. He has taught you more than once to respect his orders, but you just cannot seem to listen. You will pay for that sooner than later.

Eren leans against the door, arms crossed as he heavily sighs. “What were you doing with Jean earlier today?” He finally asked. You turned to face him.

“N-Nothing!” You stammered. You know this made you sound guilty, but you are actually innocent. Just Eren knows how to intimidate you and when you’re in this position, your nerves take over.

Eren scornfully chuckled. “Please, do you really think I’m that dumb, Y/N?”

“I’m telling the truth, Eren! You know I don’t like Jean.” You spat. Your blood is boiling at this point. This accusation has been thrown at you more than once in your relationship and quite honestly, it’s getting tiring.

“Watch it.” Eren warned. You know you are not supposed to raise your voice towards him. He has corrected that behavior more than once and will do it again if necessary.

“Why was he sitting with you at lunch?” Eren interrogates after he notices you lose some confidence to yell at him.

You let out a deep sigh. “He just showed up. You know how Jean is.”

“And you didn’t stop him?”

“What was I supposed to do?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Tell him to fuck off!” Eren barks.

“And I did!” You argued back.

A small shriek escapes your lips as Eren charges towards you, wrapping his hand around your throat, and pushing you down onto the nearest bunk bed. You struggled to untangle his fingers as they squeeze your throat tightly.

“What did I say about talking back, slut?” Eren growls.

“I-I’m s-sorry, E-Eren.” You managed to get out as you lose circulation to your lungs.

“Oh, you will be. I’m going to make sure this filthy little mouth of yours will not be able to talk for weeks.”

Eren finally let’s go of your throat. You immediately cough. There is not enough oxygen in the room to get to your lungs fast enough it seems. Eren would argue and say you deserve it.

You hear a belt unbuckle along with his pants unzipping. His pants hang low on his hips as he watches you collect air. By the way his boxers are fitting quite snug, you know what is coming.

“On your knees.” Eren demands, pointing towards the creaky wooden floor below. You shook your head no, your eyes pleading. Eren did not respond to that well as he grabbed a hand full of hair and forced you to the ground.

“Do you ever fucking listen? I said on your damn knees.” Eren growls. You did not even have a chance to explain that you are not in the mood because Eren’s length is now being stuffed down your throat. You choked on Eren’s cock as every inch was entering your mouth.

Your nails clawed at Eren’s clothed abdomen. His hand never let up on your hair as he thrust in-and-out of you. You are choking, coughing for air, but Eren refused to show any ounce of mercy. In fact, he found it quite amusing. You should know better than to disrespect your boyfriend.

“Where is all that back talk now, princess? Don’t have shit to say with my cock down your disrespectful ass throat, do ya?” Eren mocks as takes another rapid thrust down your windpipe. Drool covered your chin and Eren’s dick. You can feel his girth stretch out your throat and he loves it. He loves seeing you struggle.

Pre-cum started to leak from his erected member. You are mentally thanking your maker. You needed a break and a gasp for air, but those prayers were answered quicker than expected. Eren pulls out his cock from your sore mouth. You let out pitiful coughs as he stroked himself to the sight of you.

“Strip then get in doggy.” He demands. Not wanting to make this worse for yourself, you do as your told. You are not even sure whose room this is. You just hope they do not walk into see the sinful things you and Eren are doing.

Each article of clothing fall to the floor and you get in the position Eren wants you in. All of your delicate tight holes are displayed for his taking. He walks over and spreads your ass out some more to get a better view. You yelp when a hard slap hits your ass.

Without warning, he brings you closer to him by latching his hands onto your hips and his cock slips into your tight cunt. Your walls do their best to expand to his girth, but no amount of sex with Eren can get you prepared for that. Your pussy takes in inch-by-inch. His stamina and merciless rhythm is forcing you to be accepting of his cock. Your knees shake under the pressure and your hands tightly grip onto the covers below.

A hard slap to your ass exploits the moan you have his behind your lips. “I kept your throat intact for a reason. Use it.” Eren scolds before hitting your ass again. You whimper.

“Eren.” You mewl.

“Yeah, who is making you feel this good?” He teases as he continues his venomous thrust.

“You do.” You sob. Your pussy is beginning to become accustomed to Eren’s erection and he is hitting all the right spots. He always does.

“Can Jean make you feel this good?” He groans, his knees slowly buckling beneath him.

“Never.” You wail. Your weeping cunt confirmed this as well.

“Damn,” he pants, “straight.”

Cum leaked from Eren’s cock deep into your cunt. You let out little moans as you became stuffed with Eren’s seed. Though you did not like he was not using protection, you have no say in the matter. This is for his pleasure and your punishment. You just have to take it like the good little submissive girl he taught you to be.

You milked every single drop of Eren before you were granted permission to put on clothes. Your hands intertwined as he lead you to the door. There stood Jean, Armin, and Conny. They all looked horrified as well as you. Eren’s smug smirk never left his features.

“What the hell are you doing in my room, Eren?” Jean exclaims in furry.

“Handling business,” he wraps his arm around Jean’s shoulder and let’s go of your hand to pat his chest, “By the way, thanks for letting me fuck my girlfriend on your bed.”

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved

[separatist-apologist]

acotar men as star wars characters?

Okay I'm peeking at my inbox. If you sent me something fun/nice, just know not everyone did and I am avoiding it because it is a MESS. So I'm wading through right now, Star Wars always feels safe to me.

Instead of like, characters, what about like, what KIND of characters?

Starting off strong-

Rhysand- Utter Sith filth. I'm sorry to the Rhys stans out there but this man is SWIMMING in darkness. Also, and you can't tell me I'm wrong, but a fic where Dark Sith Rhys slowly corrupts light Jedi Feyre is immaculate, a god tier idea and if someone writes it, you better tag me in it

Cassian- Resistance General ride or die baby. Means justify the ends and definitely ground forces 100%. He's looking at the pilots with narrowed eyes, like, put a blaster in this mans hand (Or a vibro sword hnnng) and unleash him.

Azriel- Sorry babes. Stop thinking with your pussy. He's too comfortable with genocide if he's been personally wronged and for that, he's an Inquisitor. Yeah he started as a Jedi but Azriel is corruptible. The Jedi were weak, they FAILED him. They deserve to be hunted mercilessly through the galaxy and Azriel loves doing it. This man is also washed in blood and darkness.

Eris- Politician from a core world. Bathed in money, doesn't care about the outer rim or their problems. Definitely using his political office to further his own goals. Sides with whoever is in power, very adaptable.

Lucien- Resistance pilot. Brash, impulsive, and likes to cause problems, Lucien is the first to ask permission to blow something up. Also prefers a blaster, not much for hand to hand combat. Prefers range, distance, and a well fitting vest.

Feyre- Sweet bean Jedi slowly corrupted over time. Tired of war, of the endless fighting, of how nothing ever seems to be resolved. Personal tragedy x 1000. Leaves the order, breaking their heart. Find out later she's teamed up with Rhysand. Everyone is v nervous about it.

Nesta- THE resistance General. Badass x 100000. No one can tell her anything. BRAIDS ON BRAIDS ON BRAIDS. Immaculate without trying. Ice Queen but everyone respects the fuck out of her. Put Cassian on his knees and left him there without a look back. Isn't impressed with all these pretty flyboys.

Elain- politician but dedicated to her people. Fashion sense is ELITE, no one can touch her wardrobe. Knows the power of a careful turn of phrase, of one well timed word. Drafts legislation in her sleep, is very good at getting the support of those who should be her political nemesis. Occasionally likes to talk shit with Eris in the nosebleeds. What the fuck is Palpatine wearing today?

Tamlin- nerf herder. Is he scruffy? Yes. Is there sand in his boots? 100%. Is he free? Yes.

Emerie- Unshakable Jedi Master. Sits on the council with Yoda, eyebrow game unmatched. Always know when you've annoyed her. Hasn't taken an apprentice in years, everyone wants her attention. Cool white lightsaber.

Gwyn- Nightsister dedicated to her home. Keeper of their magick + the sacred knowledge of their people. Bathed in darkness because that's her home and not necessarily because she's evil. Dathomir just be like that. Pet spider, she can make anything sweet.

[dlwritings]

Good | Bucky Barnes

masterlist found here

pairing - Bucky x reader word count - 2,751 warnings - language, very brief mentions of m/f sex and v fingering A/N - this has sat in my drafts for ages and I don’t know why I never posted it but as I was editing it I changed the ending it used to be happy and then I realized it worked better if it wasn’t so here’s a new way to break your heart if you want it | inspired by a post I saw on Tumblr so fucking long ago I don’t have the link anymore so the parts that aren’t mine are bolded and italicized

summary - (Y/N) and Bucky broke up, and Bucky battles with the memories of what was.

That’s how he’ll remember her.

Bucky was a hard man to get a read on, but (Y/N) loved trying to figure him out. She felt like that was what drew her to him. She liked puzzles and mysteries. It wasn’t that she had this desire to fix him. In her eyes, he wasn’t really broken. He was just a book that always kept her on her toes, turning each page to find out what comes next.

But books end. You reach the last page, the last word, and it’s all over. And you can read it again, but it’s not the same. The things that were said have been said, each adventure has been done, and going back to page one and starting all over again would just be living in the past. And if Bucky was anything, he was a man who could not live in the past.

Neither of them could really point out the straw that broke the camel’s back nor who was the camel and who placed the straw. There was screaming -so much screaming- from both parties, causing a crowd of two to form outside of Bucky’s bedroom. So there was screaming on one side of Bucky’s door, and ears pressed up to the other. Sam and Steve could only catch snippets of what was being said, because the couple was so often screaming over each other.

“-don’t understand you.”

“You try and fix every-”

“I’m sorry I’m not-”

“-thought it would be different.”

“You think you know-”

“Maybe we’re just-”

“-giving up.”

Steve and Sam sensed the end coming and retreated before they could get caught. Yes, they felt a little guilty for eavesdropping. Only a little.

(Steve always said it was Sam’s idea to listen in the first place.)

Her foot in his doorway, her fingers twisting in his sweater, frustration laced into every line of her face. How she left or, rather, how she refused to leave.

Bucky’s door flew open, but (Y/N) planted her feet in his room. He was holding back, not wanting to put his hands on her but wanting more than anything for her to leave. It wasn’t going to work. They weren’t going to work, and it was something she needed to accept.

If he still couldn’t fully open up to her after nine months, he knew he was a lost cause. Knew his heart wasn’t meant to be given to anybody. Knew he’d never be capable of normal love. Knew she deserved normal love.

(Y/N) grabbed the front of Bucky’s sweater, trying to push him backward and force the pair back into his bedroom. He was stronger and stood his ground. “James Buchanan Barnes!” she shouted. “Let me in!”

“I’m done talking about this!” Bucky said, his voice raising as well. “We’re done talking about this. Quit making this so goddamn difficult! God, you make everything so fucking difficult!”

How much of a fighter she was, how stubborn, how much she hated saying goodbye.

(Y/N)’s hard head was one of the things that attracted Bucky to her. He respected her unwillingness to give up or back down. Who would’ve thought it would apply still during their relationship’s demise?

And he knew she hated saying goodbye- to things, to people, to places. He should’ve known it would apply to them too.

Before missions he went on without her, she wouldn’t leave his side for an entire day. She didn’t want to let him go. Didn’t want to say goodbye for now in case it was really goodbye forever.

This goodbye was hard because it was goodbye, but I’ll be seeing you. Because they lived together and worked together and ate together and breathed the same goddamn air. Having the same superhero job and living in the same place meant being together ‘til death do them part, whether they wanted it or not. How could a goodbye that didn’t really feel like goodbye hurt more than every other time they spoke the word?

Bucky pushed (Y/N) away, closed the door in her face, and forced himself to stick to his gut. Not to back down on his decision. He made the choice for a reason, and he was stubborn too. He would not cave to the angry tears in her eyes and the crack of her voice when she yelled. He would not cave.

The pointless arguments and getting worked up over nothing, of making up just to let things fall apart again.

They fought a lot. All the time. Over dumb things. Over (Y/N) not giving Bucky enough space. Over Bucky backing away from physical touch. Over her always wanting dates. Over him never wanting to go out. Over her sparring with Sam. Over him getting stupidly jealous. Over her inability to see her greatness. Over his inability to see his.

But they always made up. And when they made up, it was good. It was so good. They would hide away in his bedroom (or hers- usually his) for the night, lips separating from each other’s only so he could leave kisses across her body while she let out the prettiest moans he’d ever heard. Their make-up sex wasn’t angry or rough. Bucky liked to be gentle though hell would freeze over before he told anyone that. He liked worshiping her and her body, making her feel good to make up for the times he made her feel bad. He would hover over her, his hips snapping against hers with every smooth thrust. He’d let her hold his metal hand (He found it reassuring that she wasn’t disgusted by it.) while his other would brush hair from her face or grip her hip or pinch her nipple or rub slow circles on her clit until she came undone under him, squeezing his cock so good that he’d follow right after.

But that wasn’t what he wanted to think about, because that was a good thing. So he thought about how each make-up was just a precursor to another fight. Because there was always another fight. It was like standing in the eye of a hurricane. For a moment, it would all be calm and okay and they’d be able to breathe, but the storm would come again and the cycle would continue.

This is not what they were. This is what he wants to remember because he wants to convince himself that he made the right decisions.

About two months passed, and Bucky saw that (Y/N) was happy. He always knew he was bad for her, but he hated to see her reap the benefits of their breakup while he, however, felt miserable. In his head, he was always thinking of the bad parts of their relationship, just to remind himself that breaking up with her was the right choice. He would look at her and see her smile like it was proof he had done the right thing. She was better and happier and safer and-

This is how he should remember her.

Dwelling on all the terrible thoughts made Bucky so sad all the time. But he didn’t want to grant himself the luxury of remembering the good things, because with that luxury came a different kind of pain: regret.

He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Think about the bad things? Assure himself that he made the right choice but sulk in negativity.

Think about the good things? Realize he made a terrible mistake but smile at the good times. The good times were so good.

Her foot on the gas, hair dancing in the wind, the sun drawing patterns on her face.

On nice, warm, summer days, (Y/N) and Bucky liked to go for drives. To nowhere in particular, just down country roads for a few hours. She’d wear her hair down and open the windows all the way. The breeze would blow through her locks, and the sun would cast shadows across her face. And she would laugh. God she would laugh. At everything. At the way her hair got tangled in the bridge of her sunglasses. At the way Bucky’s nose would crinkle when a song he didn’t like played on her phone. At the way a squirrel would hurry across the street before they came by. At the way Bucky would playfully scold her as she took both hands off the steering wheel. At everything. Because she was so happy on those days. And so was he. And they were so in love.

Her face turned away from him so she wouldn’t catch his eye and surrender to fits of laughter.

Sometimes, they just couldn’t take Steve seriously. They’d have team meetings, and Steve would be in one of those moods where it was all business. But (Y/N) and Bucky were not all business. In fact, 99% of the time they were no business because, god Steve could just be so ridiculous and wasn’t it funny? When Steve was in those moods, Bucky and (Y/N) were not supposed to laugh. No one was supposed to laugh. Hell, some people didn’t even smile. Serious Steve could be seriously intimidating. To some people. Not to (Y/N) and Bucky. With all the stories Bucky told (Y/N) of his best friend, how could she ever take him seriously? Try as he might to be a tough hard-ass, he’d always be that scrawny kid from Brooklyn. And (Y/N) could not take him seriously, especially when he was trying so hard. And (Y/N) knew if she looked at Bucky, she’d lose it. It was like she could feel the grin on his face. Because of course he was grinning, because there was Steve playing all tough and there was (Y/N) looking absolutely adorable as she bit her lip so she wouldn’t laugh. And he was trying not to laugh too. At Steve and at (Y/N). And they were so in love.

With red wine stained lips, with chocolate on her nose, with fingers in his hair.

Sometimes their dates were especially romantic. They’d go to hotels across the world just to get away from New York. He loved Italy, she Paris, but they were both content anywhere as long as they were together. No matter where they were, their nights would end the same: wrapped up in bed in their underwear, drinking room service ordered wine and eating cheap chocolate. They both loved red wine, and between them would drink almost two bottles. Bucky couldn’t get drunk, but she was tipsy after a glass and a half. And Bucky just thought she was so pretty, with her flushed cheeks and glossy eyes and red lips and how carelessly she would eat when she was intoxicated.

Chocolate would hide in the corners of her smile and would somehow end up on her nose. He’d lick wipe it away, and she’d press her lips to his. She’d straddle his hips, bold from the wine, and thread her fingers in his hair. If he had it in a bun or ponytail, she would tug it out of its band and pull her fingers through it. Bucky loved when she pulled his hair though hell would freeze over before he told anyone that. She would grind slowly against him, her breaths already coming out as little pants. He’d push her panties to the side and run two fingers across her slit -most of the time she’d already be soaking, so easily aroused when she was tipsy- and slide two fingers into her. She’d moan against his lips and ride his hand, coming undone too quickly for her taste. Not that it mattered. They’d spend the rest of the night making love to each other until she couldn’t take anymore. Bucky had endless stamina. And they were so in love.

That was how he should remember them: how they were because there’s no shame in it.

(Y/N) could see the misery behind Bucky’s eyes. She saw it anytime she looked at him, and the team could see it too. It made everyone’s spirits drop. It was Steve and Wanda’s idea to do something. Ever the best friends. Per Wanda’s suggestion, Steve called for a mission that would include everyone but Bucky and (Y/N).

(This “mission” was to go get pizza and spend the night at Tony’s house to get away for a while, but Bucky and (Y/N) didn’t need to know that.)

Steve hoped it would force Bucky to tell (Y/N) how he felt. Wanda hoped it would give them a chance to patch things up, even if only a little. They were both aching for their best friends to be as happy as they were when they were together. Because despite the fighting, everyone knew they were happier together than apart, even if it only meant as friends. Anything had to be better than the awkward tension they were currently living through. (Y/N) challenged Bucky. Not a lot of people did that. Bucky kept (Y/N) on her toes. She thrived off that.

So it was the night the team was gone. (Y/N) stayed in her room all day. Bucky stayed in his. But then he got hungry at the same time that she wanted tea, so they were in the kitchen. Together. Alone. Her throat was burning with words she didn’t know how to say, and his hands were itching at his side to reach out for her- to hold her. They spoke at the same time.

“How have you-” said Bucky.

“How’ve things-” said (Y/N).

They both stopped, eyes fixed on the other. (Y/N) laughed softly, and Bucky cracked a smile. “How are you?” (Y/N) asked, bringing her mug of tea to her lips.

“Fine,” Bucky said.

Open up, his heart screamed.

He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them and forced himself to look at her. “Not fine.” (Y/N)’s interest was peaked.

“No?”

How was he supposed to say this?

“I’m sorry.”

That was a good start, he supposed.

(Y/N) stared at him, her hands gripping her mug tighter while keeping it close to her face. He took her silence as a chance to continue.

“I think we can both see that you’re-” He paused, trying to give her a sincere smile. “You’re really happy.”

“Bucky-”

“You don’t have to lie,” he said gently. “I know you’ve gone on a couple dates with that guy from IT.” Her expression dropped and she averted her eyes in embarrassment. “It’s okay,” he said. “Honestly, it, it feels pretty good to know I was right for once.” She managed a soft smile, though it didn’t meet her eyes. “I was holding you back,” he said. “I wasn’t who you needed, and that’s okay.” He paused and let out a sigh. “But I do miss you.”

“I miss you too,” she said, feeling tears pooling in her eyes. Hearing him speak so honestly and so vulnerably was a foreign experience.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry too,” she whispered back. “I wish-” She cleared her throat when her voice cracked. “You know I wished it was you and me in the end, don’t you? I wanted that so badly.”

“I know,” he said. “So did I. But I guess-” He shrugged and took a shaky breath. “I guess some people just aren’t meant to be forever.”

She shrugged back. “I guess not.”

“That doesn’t mean we weren’t good sometimes,” he said.

“No,” she agreed.

“Because we were so good,” he said. She could hear the ache in his voice, and it made a tear roll down her cheek.

“So good,” she repeated. He reached forward and wiped her tear away with his metal hand. She closed her eyes at his touch, and he pulled away before it could become too intimate. “Are you okay?” she asked him.

He gave a pained smile. “No,” he said, “but I will be.”

And there was nothing she could say to make that better.

So without another word, she stood on her tip-toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, lingering for probably a moment too long. When she pulled away, she gave him a soft smile, grabbed her tea, and retreated back to her room.

And he wasn’t okay, but he felt like he was getting there.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping something that used to be good close to his heart.

----- ----- ----- -----

add yourself to my TAGLIST

strike-through means Tumblr won’t let me tag you

ALL: @bangtan-serendipity​​ | @planetdemon​ | @the-singing-clown406​ | @tomshufflepuff​ | @bluelalal​ | @grandloser​ | @jackiehollanderr​ | @mindset-jupiter​ | @bisexual-sk8r | @feel-like-gold​ | @runaway-apple​ | @miraclesoflove​ | @marvelismylifffe​ | @wonderbyers | @coraz0ndcristal​ | @lizmarvel | @delicately-important-trash | @superhoorny4daddy | @misshale21​​

BUCKY: @hannihannelora​​ | @lbuck121​​ | @superavengerpotterstar​​ | @sinisterspidey​​ | @gkarisa839 | @call-me-baby-gir1​​ | @keithseabrook27 | @lowkey-holland​​ | @parkers-gal​​ | @golden-hoax​​ | @yougottalovefandoms​​ | @sunwardsss​​ | @lharrietg​​ | @nope-dot-com | @athentheena | @peterparkerbae​​ | @dianaadanelyleon | @yodontlikethatdoyoucupcake | @bunnyweasley23​​ | @brxttybottom

If you want to be taken off the list (or be put on for only certain people) just message me and let me know!

[helloalycia]

my brother’s date // alycia debnam-carey

summary: when you’re left to let down a girl on behalf of your stupid brother, you find yourself intrigued by said girl which results in the unexpected.

warning/s: none.

author's note: so this was in my drafts for a while, completed, and i totally forgot to post it! so yeah, here you go. just a cute concept i thought of a while ago lol, also in this, alycia isn’t famous so an au i guess?? anyway, enjoy!

masterlist | wattpad

I was walking back from work when I spotted the coffee shop that I remembered my brother talking about the other day. He said he had a date with someone he met on some dating app, and if I remembered correctly, it was supposed to be happening now.

Excited for him and also love taking the piss when I could, I gave him a ring and stopped outside the shop, glancing through the window and hoping to see him and his date.

"Y/N, hey, what's up?" he answered the phone after a ring.

"Hey, you've got that big date now, right?" I asked with a smile, eyes still searching for him. "I was on my way back from work and saw that coffee shop you were on about. Where are you? Is she there?"

He didn't answer straight away, and I lost my smile slowly as he stuttered out a response. "I– erm, I'm not actually there..."

"You're kidding, right? Please tell me you're kidding."

"Look, a better plan came up! My bud got tickets to a football game and they were really good seats!"

I massaged the bridge of my nose as I sighed quietly. "Y/B/N, you told the girl, right? You cancelled?"

His silence was answer enough and I wanted nothing more then to smack him upside the head.

"You can't just do that, Y/B/N! That poor girl is expecting you to show and you've just left her hanging! Why are you like this?!"

"You're there, right?" he said quickly, almost regretfully, but I knew he was too stupid to feel regret. "You can tell her! She'll probably be there right now."

I almost laughed. "Sure, I'll just go in and fix your mistakes, as usual."

"So you'll do it? Just tell her I'm sick or something."

"I'm not lying for you, you arsehole!" I shouted quietly into the phone.

"Okay, then can I hang up? We're at the stadium now."

I clenched my jaw. "Send me her photo, dickhead."

"Come on, Y/N, don't be like that," he tried, but I simply rolled my eyes. He always did this and wondered why he couldn't get a girlfriend.

"You need to respect people," I told him sternly, though I could picture him as I spoke, knowing he was definitely not listening. "This girl deserved better, Y/B/N."

He didn't answer straight away, but I heard sounds from his side of the phone. Finally, he said, "I sent the pic, thanks, Y/N. I owe you."

I sighed. "I can't believe you."

"Shit, I gotta go, bye, Y/N!" he said quickly before hanging up.

"Arsehole," I mumbled, before checking my texts to see he sent a screenshot of the girl's dating page.

Her name was Alycia Debnam-Carey, she was twenty-seven and from L.A.. I couldn't help but notice how stunning she looked in her photo, wondering how much of an idiot Y/B/N was if he stood her up.

Fuck, he stood her up and now I had to fix it. Awesome.

I chewed on my lower lip as I entered the coffee shop, eyes subtly scanning the room for this Alycia girl. I ended up spotting her sat at a table in the middle, distracting herself with her phone. She looked just like her picture which made her easy to spot, but it also made me super nervous because she looked really sweet and I didn't want to upset her.

Swallowing hard, I approached the girl's table and awkwardly stepped in front of her with a polite smile on my face.

"Hi, are you, er, Alycia?" I asked.

She looked up from her phone and smiled uncomfortably. "Yes...? Sorry, do I know you?"

"Er, no," I began awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck. "My brother, Y/B/N, was supposed to meet you today. On a date? Well, the thing is, he's kind of a dickhead and isn't showing up."

Alycia raised her eyebrows, eyes flickering to the table.

"I'm so sorry, I probably should've said that less, well, less harshly," I said quickly, seeing the absence of emotion in her eyes. "I wish he had told you before you made the effort and came here. But I'm afraid he's the worst person ever and I felt like you deserved to know instead of being stuck waiting here."

She nodded, cheeks flushing to the tips of her ears. Clearing her throat, she said, "Okay, well thank you for letting me know."

I detected the slight accent in her voice – Australian maybe? – and pitied my brother; she was seriously attractive. Why was he such an idiot?

To my surprise, the mystery girl grabbed a napkin from the table and patted the corner of her eyes. I realised she was teary and felt the guilt of the situation eating away at me.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry–"

"No, it's okay, I didn't mean to–" She laughed awkwardly, sucking up a breath. "I'm so embarrassed, sorry."

"No, don't apologise, please," I said, taking a seat in front of her and offering her another napkin. "You shouldn't be embarrassed. It's not your fault at all."

She accepted the napkin and continued to wipe the tears. I realised it may have been a little more than a stood up date that was making her upset, but I didn't want to make her feel any more uncomfortable by asking her.

"Thank you," she muttered, forcing a small smile. "I didn't get your name."

"It's Y/N," I said, feeling a little concerned. "My brother, he... I'm really sorry about this. If it's any consolation, he definitely missed out. You look great."

She laughed, tears finally stopping. Her green eyes were ten times brighter than I could have imagined and she looked beautiful when she was happy. Goddamn, Y/B/N was a fucking idiot.

"I appreciate you telling me," she said softly. "I should probably get going. I feel kind of stupid."

"The only person who should feel stupid is my brother," I said apologetically. "But if you want to leave, I get it. Though, I feel like I owe you something for coming here today."

"You really don't, it wasn't you who stood me up, right?" she tried to make light of the situation, but I could hear the embarrassment in her voice.

"Okay, well I just finished work and was thinking of getting a drink," I said, offering a hopeful smile. "If you were up for it, you could keep me company. I mean, you're already dressed. It wouldn't be too much trouble, would it?"

She chuckled, running a hand through her hair. "You're very sweet, Y/N, but you don't need to have a pity-date with me. I'm a big girl. I can take rejection."

"But I can't," I played along, smile widening to cheer her up. "So, if you say no, I'll definitely feel sad."

She gave me a knowing look. "Y/N."

I returned the look. "Alycia."

She sighed when I wouldn't give up, before an appreciative smile appeared on her lips. "Thank you."

I was glad I could make her feel even a little bit better after my arsehole of a brother's actions.

"Drinks are on me, so what would you like?" I asked her.

She still seemed reluctant as she said, "I guess a hot chocolate would be nice."

"One hot chocolate coming up," I said with a grin, before standing to leave.

As I was waiting for our drinks after placing an order, my phone buzzed and I saw that I got a text from my brother asking if I'd let Alycia down easy. I rolled my eyes and ignored his text before accepting the drinks and returning to Alycia's table. Thankfully, she was still there.

"I got cream and marshmallows," I said with realisation. "I probably should have asked if you wanted that. Sorry. I can totally go back and change it if–"

"This is perfect, Y/N, thank you," she cut me off with a smile that would send any person weak in the knees.

I nodded, returning the smile, and sat opposite her with my own hot chocolate.

"So, d'you live near here?" I tried to make conversation, before widening my eyes as I realised how weird that sounded. "Shit, that was creepy, wasn't it?" Not leaving her chance to respond, I shook my head and looked to my drink. "Sorry, it's been a while since I've been on a date – I forgot what you're supposed to talk about." I looked up instantly when I realised what I said, adding, "Not that this is a date or anything! God, sorry, this is messing up big time."

To my relief, she began to laugh adorably, covering her mouth as she looked down at the table.

"I'm much better at making friends than I appear to be," I weakly defended, offering a half-smile, knowing my cheeks were definitely heating up with embarrassment.

"I mean, you're doing great," she assured with a stifled grin.

"Mhm," I agreed sarcastically, making her smile widen.

She licked her lips as she nodded, eyes flickering between the table and I. "I do live near here, to answer your question. A few blocks away. How about you?"

"Same here," I answered, relaxing into my chair. "I was on my way back home when I realised my asshat of a brother had his date tonight. Once again, I'm very sorry for his idiocy."

She grimaced, shaking her head. "Let's not talk about him..."

"Right, yeah, sorry," I said, smiling apologetically.

"Er, so you said you just finished work," she changed the subject, green eyes flickering to me. "What is it that you do?"

"Oh, nothing exciting," I said with a chuckle. "I work part-time at a grocery store. It's just something to hold me over whilst I do my masters at university."

"Oh, wow, that sounds amazing," she said with interest, leaning forward. "You must be tired though. How long was your shift today?"

"Errrr...," I looked down at my watch, "Twelve hours?"

"Oh, gosh, you must be exhausted," she said with realisation, eyes guiltily watching me. "You really don't need to stay here with me, honestly."

"If you wanted to get rid of me, you could have just said so," I teased, cocking my head to the left playfully.

She shook her head, checks growing pink with embarrassment. "No, that's not it. I just– I thought–"

"I'm pulling your leg, Alycia," I cut her off, before laughter escaped my lips. "Honestly, I'm okay being here." I leaned forward, resting my head in the palm of my hand as I continued, "You seem interesting."

"And you pity me," she said knowingly, holding my gaze. Though she didn't seem as upset as before.

So, I gave her a grin as I straightened up. "Isn't that how all great relationships start?"

She ran a hand through her hair as she tried to hide her smile, but it was definitely there and I was definitely admiring how cute she looked. Seriously, how stupid could my brother be?

"Enough about me anyway," I said, fingers grasping my mug. "What is it that you do?"

Alycia and I talked for longer than I thought – a few hours actually. Despite my body begging to go to sleep, my eyes were wide awake, taking in the sight of the pretty girl before me and admiring how intelligent and funny she was. Though the circumstances in which we met weren't ideal, I found our conversation to flow quite easily, like we had known each other a lot longer than we did.

It was around dinner time when we realised how long we'd been chatting away and decided to call it a day.

"So that was definitely not what you were expecting," I began as we walked out of the coffee shop, "and definitely not what I was expecting, but I had a good time."

She returned my smile, the two of us lingering outside before we knew we had to part ways.

"It was," she agreed, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "I guess I'm kind of, well, glad that your brother–"

"Is a giant dickhead with no remorse for any shitty thing he does?" I filled in for her with a raised brow.

She let out the cutest laugh ever as she nodded in agreement. "I couldn't have put it better myself... but yes. I'm glad I met you today, Y/N."

"Me too," I said, before wincing, "With you. As in you, too. Like me, too, glad to have met you. I–" I tried to bite back my awkwardness. "Never mind."

She tried not to laugh at my dismay. "Thank you for letting me down on behalf of your brother. And for buying me a drink. And for pitying me enough to stay and keep me company. I guess I owe you."

I was certainly surprised when she quirked a brow, half teasing and half amused.

"S'up to you," I said, attempting to remain calm. "I'm always down for a free drink."

"Well, you have my number," she reminded me, referring to when we exchanged numbers earlier. "Just let me know when you're not working and I'd be happy to take you out."

"Sounds good," I said, before chewing on my lips. "Er, just to confirm, is this a– this is a date, right?"

She chuckled, nodding. "Yes, this is a date."

I breathed out. "Right. Okay. Yeah. Makes sense."

She rolled her eyes playfully before leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek. I swallowed hard, definitely not expecting today to go this way. I mean, I knew our chat was great and I definitely thought she was beautiful, but my crushes had a tendency of only ever being one-sided. Alycia being interested in me wasn't something I expected. Definitely wasn't against it though.

"Thanks again for the drink," she said with a final smile. "I know you must be tired from work. Until next time, I guess."

I gave her a small smile, feeling excited at the possibility of seeing her again. "See you soon, Alycia. Text me when you're home, yeah? Gotta make sure you get there safely."

"Same goes for you," she replied. "See you."

I waved goodbye as she turned around and walked away. Stupidly enough, I couldn't take my eyes off her and was definitely embarrassed when she glanced behind her and met my gaze. She hid a smile as I turned around, flustered, and began to walk away.

As stupid as my brother was, I guess I was glad he gave me the chance to meet Alycia.