#she always says she valued being able to spend time with us and help us before leaving

[nabaath-areng]

Dinner was a huge success, my mom LOVED it. Finally I got to boss her around by telling her to sit down and let me spoil HER for once without her trying to help <3333

It was extra fun cause I cooked her the signature family dish she developed when we were little but that I've developed further on my own since I moved out, and seeing how much she loved it really warmed my heart.

[miraculouslyfine]

bombed it.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader (Doesn't follow the events of anything, established relationship) Synopsis: Peter is extremely concerned about his girlfriend's safety, she doesn't really share the same sentiment, and they fight, like a lot

Word Count: 10,8k

"You can't be serious”   “I'm sorry, Y/n, but you have to choose”  

~

Peter and Y/n rarely fought.   

They just got each other. They understood each other on a deeper level; their shared traumatic experiences definitely played a part in this mutual understanding. Their love had been tested and tempered, growing stronger with every challenge they faced together. Throw some ever-growing affection and trust into the mix, and there you have it: a happy, healthy relationship.  

Sure, they had their fair share of squabbles and petty arguments, just like any couple, really. But they both valued honesty and communication. They were open about their feelings in any and every given situation, always making sure they see eye to eye, always trying to find middle ground. After all, that's what relationships are for, right? Compromise.   

Peter was willing to give up a lot of things to ensure Y/n's happiness. Nothing mattered to him more than making sure his beautiful girlfriend, his best friend, the love of his life was perfectly contented with how things were between them. Well, almost nothing.  

The one thing Peter would never budge on was Y/n's safety. That was non-negotiable. He felt it was his duty as her boyfriend, as her superhero -superpowered superhero- boyfriend, to protect her, to make sure she never got hurt.  

Now, Y/n Stark was no damsel in distress and by no means a stranger to danger and all kinds of superhero-related adventures and difficulties. Having grown up with the Avengers, her involvement with the team of heroes was inevitable.   

She was –according to the rest of the team, Peter included- a vital part of the Avengers. She took part in missions, though in a less dynamic and active sense, usually helping come up with different strategies and plans (you can never be too careful!). She brought a “much needed unique and fresh perspective to the team", as her dad used to say (“I just overthink a lot, it's not that big of a deal", she would always mutter under her breath, causing Peter to roll his eyes and playfully flick her on the head).  

Even though Tony (mostly Pepper) didn't want his daughter risking her life and getting caught up in the superhero world, he knew that if push came to shove, she needed to be able to protect herself. Plus, he couldn't deny that she had a talent. Her combat skills, ideas, creations, and great planning and thinking ahead skills were more than appreciated within the community. She was trained by the Black Widow herself for god's sake, she knew what she was doing. 

So what could have caused this schism between them, causing Peter to leave the comfort of their bed, deciding to spend the night on the couch instead, away from the feeling of her warm body next to him? 

Peter knew what she was doing. Sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night, right after he'd come back from his own patrol. She thought she was being sly about it, too. Really, Y/n? Now you're just insulting my intelligence. 

It's one thing to play vigilante and another to outright lie about it. And Peter hated lies almost as much as he hated not knowing whether she was safe or not. And these late-night activities of hers were starting to piss him off. They were not good for his heart, either. Every time he heard the soft sound of their bed creaking as she got out of it at ungodly hours, he could feel his chest tightening. He always tried to fight the urge to get up and immediately follow after her, just to make sure she wasn't doing anything reckless. 

He didn't realize right away. She didn't look like she had spent half the night fighting crime, at first. She'd return a couple of hours before he was supposed to wake up. She'd make sure there were no visible injuries and she'd go on with her day. She really thought he'd never find out (or at least not before she felt he was ready to find out). 

After a few days, the lack of sleep was apparent. And no matter how hard she tried denying it, or playing it off, Peter could tell something was up. It didn't take him long to start putting one and one together; her tiredness, some unexplainable scratches here and there, the fact that crime in NYC seemed to have subsided. 

Peter knew. And he didn't like what was happening, not one bit. They had talked about it once, a while back. She had done this before-gone around his back to play hero-, or at least attempted to, before Peter (with a little needed help from her overprotective, over the top father, the little snitch) brought an end to it. He thought she had understood, that she saw how she was being ridiculous and unreasonable. Recklessly throwing herself in danger, all in the name of proving something? That didn't sound like his very intelligent, very MINDFUL girlfriend. 

He tried talking to her again. He gave her the chance to come clean about her activities. She denied everything. 

He was mad. He was hurt. He felt betrayed. Not only did she ignore his warnings and went about it behind his back, she was also lying to his face. 

And they fought. It was bad. It was unlike any previous fight they had. They were screaming at each other, hurtful words flying in the air, the tension in the room palpable. It was getting late, they were both tired, frustrated and upset. 

"Y/n, for the last time. You're being stubborn about this. All I'm saying is there are ways for you to help without being ON the field. Without recklessly risking your life-" 

"For god's sake, Peter. You're acting like I'm some adrenaline junkie, picking up fights with random people at the bar! I am helping you-" 

"Helping me? You think making me stay up all night, worrying if you're gonna make it back in one piece, is helpful? Geez, what would I ever do without you?", he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm  

"No one asked you to stay up. I know what I'm doing. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I'm trained and-" 

"Oh, you're trained? Why didn't you just say so?" 

She sighed heavily and rubbed her temples.

"Are you done? I'm trying to talk here and you're acting like a child!" 

"I'm the one acting like a child? You're acting like an angsty teen, sneaking around, ignoring everything and everyone!", he realized his voice came out a bit higher than intended. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. 

"Listen, Y/n, this isn't a game. Your life is not a game. You're putting yourself in danger. Hell, you're putting civilians in danger! What do you think you're doing, running around playing hero? Hm? You think you're tough for going out there all on your own? You're not tough, Y/n. You're dumb. You're dumb and reckless. What do you think will happen? You think you'll be lucky every time? That nothing bad will ever happen because you are trained? All it takes is one miscalculation, Y/n, one wrong move on your end, for things to take a really bad turn. Your luck will eventually run out. You could get hurt or..." 

He took a deep breath. He didn't dare finish that sentence. The thought of ever losing her was too much for him to handle. 

"You're not invincible, no matter how hard got try to convince yourself. You don't have healing factor, you don't have super strength, enhanced senses. NOTHING. You're intelligent, yes. You're incredible, you're creative, innovative, truly one of the smartest people I've ever met. You've got heart, I recognize that. But it's not enough. Your gadgets and devices won't save you every time."  

"One bullet", his voice cracked, "one bullet, Y/n, and you're gone. Do you get it now? GONE. DEAD. Do you understand the severity of the situation? You're risking your life. And for what? Five seconds of fame? To prove you're worthy of being your father's child? What are you trying to do?", he shook his head, frustration evident in his mannerisms. 

He took a good look of her. The sight immediately broke his heart. Her gaze sparkled with a delicate brightness, the unshed tears amplifying every flicker of emotion. He felt the need the need to reach out to her, to touch her (whether that was in order to hug or strangle her he didn't know for sure). But he didn't give in. He couldn't back down. Not when her safety was on the line. He needed her to understand, to see where he was coming from. 

The tears in her eyes refused to fall, clinging stubbornly to her lashes as her glare cut through the air like a blade. Who does he think he is? 

"This is what you think I'm doing? Showing off? Trying to prove a point?", a bitter chuckle escaped her. "No, Peter. I'm being helpful. I'm helping you, the cops, the people of New York. Why do you always do this? Why do you have to be like this? Why do you think you get to decide what’s best for me? I’m trying to help you, and you're out here treating me like I'm some kind of criminal, some kind of liability, an inconvenience to you! Do you think I don’t know the risks? Do you think I’m blind to the danger? I know what I’m walking into, but it’s my choice to make, not yours! You act like I’m some fragile thing that needs protecting, but I’m not, so stop acting like it.” 

“I'll stop when you start acting like a responsible adult for once”, he replied bitterly. 

“You're not a little girl anymore, Y/n. Tony won't be always there to save you and -as much as it pains me to say- neither will I” 

“I never-” 

"You never asked me to?", he run his hand through his hair in a frustrated manner. 

“I know. God, Y/n, I know. You're so goddam stubborn. You'd rather die than ask anyone for help. You're always so eager to prove your independence, that you don't need anyone to have your back. Well, news flash! You're not invincible. You're not some kind of god. And you're certainly not a hero. You can't just shrug off a bullet or an explosion or whatever insane thing you decide to get involved in next! You're human, so start acting like it. You're not expendable. Selfish is what you are.”  

"Selfish? You think I'm selfish? For what? For wanting to help people? Don't you see the irony of this coming from you?”, she let out a laugh in incredulity, unable to even fathom how he could ever say that to her. 

“You think this is about me? You think I'm just out here looking for glory or some kind of thrill? I’m doing what needs to be done, and if you can’t see that, then maybe you don’t understand me at all. You’re calling me selfish, but the truth is, you’re the one being selfish here. You’re more concerned with your own fear, your own worries, than you are about the bigger picture. I’m not out there for me. I’m doing what I can, what I have to, because I don’t want to sit back and let things happen when I know I can make a difference.” 

Peter was fuming. 

"God, this is ridiculous. I can't keep doing this, I just can’t! You’re out of control! Every damn time I turn around, you're throwing yourself into some insane situation, thinking you’re some kind of superhero. What do you think this is—some kind of game? You act like nothing can touch you, but that’s bullshit! You’re human, you’re not indestructible, and I’m getting sick of it. 

What do you think happens if you get hurt? Or worse, if you die? Oh, wait, you don’t think, do you? No, you’re too busy basking in the glory of your own self-righteousness to realize the mess you’d leave behind. Because, guess what? I’m the one who’d have to pick up the pieces. Me. The one who’s standing here, constantly worried, because you’re too damn reckless to care about the people who love you.  

You want to help people? Fine, but not at the expense of your own life! You think I’m just supposed to stand here, watching you put yourself in danger, all for some stupid idea of being a hero? Are you kidding me?! What the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you just be safe for once? Why do you have to go and do these reckless things that make my heart stop every single time? Do you even care about the people who love you?”, his chest rose and fell in sharp, measured movements, a betrayal of the battle raging within. 

She crossed her arms, her fingers digging into her skin as if trying to tether herself to composure 

“I know what I'm doing.”, she spat out. That was... a weak argument, that much she knew. But in her ~slightly~ emotional state, it was all she could over without completely breaking down in tears. 

It seemed like that single comment angered Peter to no end, making him laugh bitterly in return. 

“Do you think growing up in the Avenger's Tower makes you one of them? Here's a reality check: your little stunts don't make you a hero. They make you a liability. And if you keep this up, I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. Because I can't spend my life wondering if the next time you pull this crap will be the last time I ever see you” 

But Peter was on a roll, he couldn't stop there. 

“And you know what’s even worse? You don’t even care. You don’t care that you scare the hell out of me. You don’t care that I am waiting back here, while you do something so unbelievably reckless that might result in me losing you. Because it’s always about you, isn’t it? Your need to prove something, your need to feel important. Never mind the people you leave behind to pick up the pieces!” 

And... silence. Complete and utter silence. 

It wasn’t the kind of silence that comes from comfort; it was loaded with the weight of accusations and defenses that would never be voiced. 

Peter winced. He regretted saying those words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He was getting to her, he could tell. He also knew he was being kind of an ass about the whole thing, but he really needed her to understand how unreasonably stubborn she was being. He needed her to be safe, but it seemed like she didn't value her wellbeing all that much. He couldn't stand that. 

Ouch. That...yeah, that did the trick. It wasn't just what he said, it was mostly how he said it. So... cold and distant, poisonous almost. Like he was taunting her. She could barely recognize the man in front of her. That wasn't her sweet, loving boyfriend, her Pete, her biggest supporter. 

She understood his point of view. She is less experienced than him, especially in the sense of getting personal with the villains. The fact that she doesn't have any powers didn't help her much either. She knew he was worried about her safety, that all his anger was stemming from a place of love (even though it wasn't that evident that particular moment). But she also hoped he'd have more faith in her. After all, she is always careful, with at least three backup plans ready, just in case. She always follows protocol, doesn't make any rush decisions. And she's Iron Man's daughter for fucks sake, she does know what she's doing. 

“A liability, huh?” 

Her eyes were distant, gazing at something far beyond the room, avoiding contact like it might burn. It felt like there was an invisible wall around her, not built to shut others out but to keep herself from crumbling 

He sighed and spoke again, this time in a slightly softer tone. 

“I didn't mean it like that... I'm sorry. Look, Y/n, what I'm trying to say is I’m scared out of my mind, and I can't keep pretending like I’m okay with this. Every time you leave, I’m terrified you won’t come back. Every time you walk out the door, I wonder if I’ll be standing at your grave one day, all because you thought it was some heroic act to put yourself at risk. You think that’s noble? It’s selfish! It’s selfish because you’re not just risking yourself—you’re ripping apart the people who care about you.” 

He took another shaky, deep breath and spoke in a gentle, yet firm tone, his gaze intense. 

“I can't lose you, okay? I won't. And you doing this-this reckless, stupid, selfish thing- is how that's going to happen. If something ever happens to you... I won't forgive you for it.” 

His voice lowered but remained firm, trembling slightly.  

“And I won't forgive myself either”  

Silence settled over them once again. It was thick, like a fog settling over the room, muffling everything but the sound of their breathing. It was the kind of silence that pressed against your chest, making it hard to breathe, as though the room itself disapproved. They sat stiffly, their gazes deliberately avoiding each other, the distance between them more like a chasm than a few feet. 

Peter cleared his throat. 

Things were not looking good for them right now. He didn't like it, not one bit. The room felt suffocating, the once light and warm atmosphere long gone. He truly hated fighting with her. He wished this conversation never happened. They'd be laying on the couch now in each other's arms, with her on top of him, her head on his chest, her arms lazily draped over him as he'd run his fingers through her hair, holding her close. Just talking about their day while some movie played in the background. That's what we should be doing, Peter thought. Instead, here they were, avoiding eye contact like they were about to face Medusa. But this conversation couldn't be held off any longer. 

Soon enough the silence became unbearable. 

“Maybe it's best if we just-”  

“I should-” 

As soon as they heard the other person talking, they both closed their mouths, resulting in yet another moment of awkward silence. So in sync these two, it was almost endearing. 

Peter tilted his head slightly toward her, eyebrows raised in a silent invitation to speak. 

Her eyes closed briefly before they looked up, a flicker of acknowledgment passing over her face as she nodded weakly before speaking in an uncharacteristically quiet tone. 

“Maybe we should take some time alone... to...cool off...you know...?”  

Peter sighed. This conversation hadn't led to anything. Anything other than hurt, frustration and a headache, that is. Hours of an endless emotional back and forth, all for nothing. They hadn't reached an agreement and he was certain they weren't seeing eye to eye. And this wasn't a matter he was willing to back down from, she had to realize that her actions affected him as well. 

He understood where she was coming from, he really did. He understood better than anyone the burning need to help, the desire to make a difference, that deep sense of responsibility to the world. He *is* Spider-Man after all, that's his thing; he cares, he acts. He feels the moral duty to use his abilities to protect others, often at great personal cost. He doesn't mind. Or, at least, he didn't in the past (it is kind of different when you have someone at home waiting for you, you just got to be more careful, you know?). 

But he doesn't want that for her. Never for her. 

Maybe he was the selfish one for getting mad at her. Maybe he was selfish for hating knowing she was out there somewhere, all alone, taking justice into her own hands. But is it really selfish of him not wanting to see her getting hurt over something completely preventable? Why would she be out there risking her life when HE could be doing that instead? Did she not realize how much she meant to him?  

He didn't want them to separate, not like this, not right now. But he really didn't feel like continuing this conversation. He was exhausted, his emotions all over the place, a hint of irritation still lingering. He could tell she was tired too. Plus, he still had today's patrol. 

He reluctantly nodded. 

“Yeah...maybe we should. I have to go anyway. We'll talk about this later, okay?” 

She just nodded in response and retreated to their bedroom. Peter stood there for a moment, contemplating his next move. He hesitantly made his way to the door. He didn’t want to go, not really—but a small, guilty part of him was already savoring the thought of the space he'd have once he left. There was a flicker of regret in his eyes as he turned away, quickly replaced by a soft exhale and a lighter step. He hesitated at the threshold, his hand hovering over the doorknob for a moment longer than necessary before finally turning it. As he stepped out, he paused for a moment, as if expecting Y/n to call him back, but when she didn't, his posture eased, and he moved forward with renewed purpose. This is gonna be fun.

Peter soon disappeared into the night, busying himself by fulfilling Spider-Man's duties. He went about with his usual routine, swinging around the most common areas, the sketchiest ones, the streets most accidents happen on. But it was an uncharacteristically quiet night; no supervillains threatening to wipe out NYC, no petty criminals running around causing chaos, no cats on extremely high trees needing saving. 

Someone asked him for directions, so there was that.  

(A man can't even escape his thoughts in peace, smh) 

Hours passed, and it was getting later and later. Frustration, worry, and exhaustion started to catch up with him. He was tired, his body screaming for rest and his heart begging for an end to this whole ordeal. After a couple of hours of killing time by meaninglessly swinging around, Peter decided it was finally time he returned home- to her.  

Peter returned to the apartment, his body tired and aching, frustration still gnawing at his. On his way back he wondered whether or not he'd find her there. She could've gone to a friend's or at her parents’ house to avoid him. She could’ve completely ignored him and left to play vigilante again. He prayed that wasn't the case. Honestly? He half expected her too, if anything just to spite him. 

He quietly entered, not knowing what to expect, but the place was quiet and empty. He scanned the room and the first thing he noticed was the food on the kitchen counter, a silent gesture from her. 

He grumbled to himself, still somewhat irritated by her behavior. But the mere sight of the food, still warm and waiting for him, softened his frustration just a bit. Despite everything, she still cared enough to think about him. 

He walked over to the counter, his stomach rumbling with hunger. He sat at the table, quietly eating the food, his mind still going over the events of the night. He couldn't stop the frustration from bubbling up, but he also couldn't ignore the fact that he was exhausted. The food tasted good, but it didn't do much to satisfy his frustration. He still wanted answers, he still wanted her to stop this nonsense. 

He let out a quiet sigh, the sound echoing in the empty room. He was tired, both physically and emotionally. He knew he needed to sleep, to rest and recharge. 

Peter opened the door to their bedroom and was immediately hit with a wave of surprise. Y/n was asleep in their bed, looking deceptively peaceful. Peter's eyes narrowed as he watched her.  

He wanted to wake her up, to confront her and put an end to this. But seeing her there, asleep and defenseless, made him pause. Peter grumbled internally, torn between his irritation and the sight of her peacefully sleeping in their bed. He knew he should wake her and confront her, but something about seeing her there, so calm and vulnerable, made his anger soften just a little. Instead of waking her up, he opted to sit on the edge of the bed, his eyes watching her as she slept. The frustration was still there, but there was a hint of worry and care underneath it all.  

“Hey, baby. There's food on the kitchen”. Her voice was soft and muffled, more like a murmur than actual speech, as though weighed down by sleep. 

As Y/n spoke in her sleep, Peter's annoyance melted away just a little more. Her sleepy voice was almost endearing, and her concern for his well-being, even in her half-conscious state, touched a softer part of him. 

He let out a soft sigh and ran a hand through his hair, his irritation fading into the background. Seeing her like this reminded him that beneath all the chaos and recklessness, she was still the girl he cared about.  

He couldn't bring himself to wake her up or to confront her right now, especially not when she was in such a vulnerable state. Instead, he sat there, watching her sleep, his mind swirling with a mix of frustration, care, and a bit of tenderness. 

He still had so many questions, and he was still upset about her antics, but for now, he was content to just sit there, listening to her gentle breathing and feeling a strange sense of peace in the room. Tomorrow would be another day for confrontations and discussions. 

Peter sat there for a few more minutes, just watching her sleep. The silence of the room was soothing, and the frustration he felt earlier was slowly fading away. 

With a deep sigh, he finally decided it was time to get some sleep himself. He carefully got up and made his way out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. 

As he settled into the couch, he couldn't help but wonder what tomorrow would bring. He knew he'd have to talk to her again, to get answers and hopefully put an end to her vigilante streak. 

This is bad, she thought. 

Peter's presence –or absence- had woken her up from her already somewhat disrupted sleep. She kept replaying today's events in her head, almost as if she were trying to make herself angrier and more anxious. She didn't like fighting with him. Sure, she didn't agree with him in the slightest and his words angered her to no end, she couldn't deny that she missed him terribly, especially now that she had the whole bed to herself, feeling like it'd swallow her whole. 

Since when does he sleep on the couch, anyway? Why did he get to act immaturely and petty? Why didn't he want to sleep in bed with her? He was the one in the wrong, blowing things out of proportion. 

After staring at the ceiling for God knows how long, she decided she'd just go for it. She could be stubborn; she was certainly not above acting petty after a fight. But she missed him. A lot. She yearned for the warmth of his body, the feeling of his arms around her. She decided pettiness (and the talk they're bound to have) would have to wait until tomorrow morning. 

She pushed the covers aside sluggishly, her arms moving as though weighed down by invisible chains. Her feet slid off the bed and onto the floor, landing with a dull thud, her movements slow and deliberate. She sat at the edge of the bed for a moment, hunched over, before finally shuffling to her feet with a soft groan. She shuffled toward the door, each step a reluctant scrape, the sound faint in the stillness of the room. 

She slowly made her way to the living room. Her eyes immediately landed on Peter's sleeping form on the couch. Without giving herself another moment to think this through, she started walking towards him. 

She carefully climbed on the couch and settled in an awkward position on top of him/ against the back of the couch. It was very uncomfortable but she could manage. What she couldn't manage was Peter-less sleep. 

Peter was pulled out of his half-asleep state by the sudden movement on the couch. He blinked a few times, his vision slowly adjusting to the dim light. 

At first, he was confused. Was he dreaming? But then he felt Y/n's weight on top of him, her awkward positioning making him wince a little. 

He felt a surge of irritation bubble up once again. Seriously? She had the whole bed to herself, why was she cramping up the couch like this? He was about to protest, to tell her to go back to the bed where she would be more comfortable, but something held him back. Maybe it was the softness in her half-sleeping gaze, or the warm weight of her body on top of him. But instead of pushing her aside, he found himself pulling her closer, instinctively wanting to hold and comfort her. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

He let out a resigned sigh, his frustration giving way to a mixture of annoyance, care, and a hint of affection. Peter's eyes widened slightly at her unexpected question. He had been caught off guard by her words, and there was a moment of hesitation on his part. 

But her voice, tinged with vulnerability and hesitation, stirred something within him. Maybe it was the softness of her tone, or the genuine concern underneath the question, but the irritation that had been brewing in him suddenly lost some of its sharpness. 

He let out a long, quiet sigh before whispering back, his voice gentle but firm. 

"Yes, I am." 

They drifted into a quiet pause, the air between them tinged with hesitation. That was until she spoke again in an almost hushed tone. 

“Are you very mad at me?” 

Peter paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to steady his emotions. Her quiet plea made his chest tighten, his heart conflicted between the lingering irritation and the instinctive need to comfort her. 

"Yes,", he whispered back, his voice softening a bit, "I am very mad at you." 

She hummed softly, acknowledging his response before speaking up once more. 

"Mad enough not to give me a goodnight kiss?" 

Peter couldn't help but feel a small spark of amusement at Y/n's words. Despite everything, despite his frustration, she still knew just how to disarm him with her playfulness. 

After a moment's hesitation, he relented, his voice still soft but with a hint of a smile. 

"I suppose I can manage a goodnight kiss. But then you need to promise you'll go back to your bed." 

"I don't like sleeping without you" 

Peter's heart skipped a beat. He was taken aback by her raw honesty and the vulnerability in her voice. It softened his frustration a bit more, reminding him of the love they shared beneath their disagreements. He let out a sigh, a mixture of annoyance and affection in his voice.  

"Why? Why can't you just... behave and make things easier for both of us?" 

That was... *not* what she expected to hear. She suddenly felt very awake, like a bucket of freezing cold water was dumped over her. It made sense that Peter wouldn't ignore the problem at hand just to let her cuddle with him in peace. Did she like it? No, not really. But that's Pete for you. Always wanting to do things right and always in proper order. 

But she was really not in the mood for that. Feeling rejected didn't help either. It was a quiet devastation, not loud or dramatic, but a slow, persistent ache she couldn’t ignore. The heat crept up her neck and into her face, her body betraying the humiliation she tried to suppress. Guess she won't be getting that goodnight kiss after all. 

She got off him just as quickly and awkwardly as she had previously climbed on top of him (she may or may not tried to discreetly knee him in the process). 

“You came here because you needed space. I need to respect that. I'll leave you alone", she said quietly as she got up from the couch. 

"Goodnight, Peter", she mumbled without giving him the chance to respond before walking back to their room with her head hung low, her shoulders slumped. 

Peter watched her walk away, her dejected expression pulling at his heartstrings. He wanted to call out to her, to tell her not to go, but another part of him wanted space to think, to process everything. It was all just too much too quickly. 

With a heavy sigh, he leaned back on the couch. The night was still young, and there were so many thoughts swirling in his mind. He needed time to sort through his feelings, to figure out what to say to her when they talked. 

While Peter was busy staring at the ceiling and gathering his thoughts, Y/n was pacing back and forth in their shared room. She was feeling anxious.  

She knew her participation in any superhero related activity -let alone playing hero all on her own, in NYC of all places- wouldn't really appeal to Peter. 

She knew that, yet she did it anyway. She wanted to help, she knew she could help, so she did. Turns out all that training really paid off. She did good, if she said so herself. Criminals were caught, civilians were safe, the press was eating it up. It was a win in her books. 

Despite all that, she couldn't ignore how her actions affected Peter. He seemed pretty pissed off. And him being that mad at her wasn't a common occurrence, like at all. 

She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. She was too emotional for that right now. Would they bounce back from this? Was he... done? Done with her? With them? She started giving through his closet, trying to find something to wear. She needed comfort, and if Peter wasn't about to provide that, his clothes would have to do. 

In true teenage girl fashion, she put on some sweatpants and one of Peter's hoodies. She put some sad, break up songs -Taylor Swift most likely- playing softly in the background, as she pulled her laptop and played a Star Wars movie, Peter's favorite. She was very well aware of how ridiculous she was being. But she really couldn't find it in herself to care. She was allowed to wallow in self-pity if she wanted to.  

As the movie started, her eyes began to tear up. She started thinking back to the day they first met, when they got together, when they moved into this house, essentially making herself cry more. What if this was their end? 

She didn't know what possessed her to act like this. Maybe it was the crippling fear that he'd break up with her. Maybe he was done with her. Maybe that's what tomorrow's conversation would bring. Because why on Earth would he want to sleep on the couch -without even giving her a goodnight kiss-, if he wasn't planning on breaking up with her? 

She cried even harder. 

Lost in his thoughts, Peter was startled when he heard a soft sniffling sound coming from the room he shared with Y/n (what a great day to have paper-thin walls!). Instantly, his irritation vanished, replaced by a sense of worry and concern. 

Was she crying? Was she upset? He couldn't bear to see her in distress, especially if he was the cause of it. And though part of him was still angry, the other just couldn't stand by and let her suffer. 

Silently, he got up from the couch and made his way to the bedroom door. 

Peter gently opened the door, trying not to make a sound. The sight that greeted him hit him hard. Y/n, dressed in his hoodie and sweatpants, sitting on their bed with her laptop in her lap, the screen lit up by the familiar glow of the original Star Wars trilogy playing. It was both sweet and heartbreaking. 

Tears were streaming down her face, and her small sobs filled the room. Peter could feel his heart cracking, torn between his lingering anger and his overwhelming love for her. He stood there for a moment, frozen, until the sight of her broke the last shred of his resolve. 

Peter moved forward slowly; his steps gentle yet firm. He approached her with care, as though she were made of fragile glass.  

“I could hear you from the living room” 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up... I'll keep it down” 

"No, no," he murmured, sitting beside her.  

"You don't need to apologize. I just...I just can't stand seeing you upset.", he reached out to brush the tears off her cheeks, his touch gentle and comforting. 

Tears spilled freely down her face as she leaned into his touch, the warmth of his hand against her cheek softening the jagged edges of her emotions. Her shoulders trembled with quiet sobs, each one a wordless apology for the harshness of the argument that still lingered in the air. And yet, she didn’t pull away—instead, she melted into the comfort, clinging to the embrace as if it was the only thing keeping her from breaking completely. The touch was steady, almost forgiving, and despite the ache between them, it felt like a fragile truce beginning to take shape. 

"I don't want us to break up", she blurted out suddenly. 

Peter blinked in surprise. He was taken aback by her sudden outburst. It hadn't even crossed his mind that they would break up.  

"What? No, of course not. Whatever gave you that idea?" 

He pulled her gently into his lap, his arms wrapping around her in a protective embrace. In return, she clung onto him and cried in his shirt. 

"I'm sorry. I really don't want us to break up. Ever. I hate it when you're mad at me. I don't want to lose you, Peter. You mean so much to me, I don't-" 

Peter held onto her tighter, his heart aching at her outpouring of distress and love. 

"Y/n, angel, listen to me," he said, his voice a calm and gentle assurance in the storm of emotions. "We're not breaking up. Not now, not ever. I love you. Mad, not mad, I love you. Do you understand what I'm saying? This is not a fleeting thing. This is us. Together. Forever." 

"I'm sorry for worrying you. I just wanted to do the right thing. I just wanted to help; I promise that's all I was trying to do. You're so busy and overworked and don't even complain because you're such a great person and I just wanted to help you and do something good for the world, too. I'm so sorry for making you worried. I didn't mean for things to come to this. I'm sorry, Peter. I'm so sorry-" 

She cried even harder in his arms, making Peter's heart shatter at her tear-filled confession. He held her closer, feeling every word as if it weighed a thousand pounds. 

"Shhhhh, shhh," he whispered, trying to soothe her. "You don't have to be sorry for wanting to help, Y/n. That's who you are. That's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But there are other ways. Safer ways. We'll find them. Together. But I need you to promise, to actually promise me, that you won't do that again, that you won't go out risking your life again." 

She pulled away slightly, just enough to look him in the eyes, her own still filled with tears. 

"Peter..." 

She shook her head. Her tone was quiet and soft, almost a desperate plea.  

Peter's heart clenched tightly in his chest again as she pulled back to face him. Seeing her tear-stricken expression, his resolve nearly faltered. But he steeled himself, knowing this conversation needed to happen.  

"I need to hear you promise, Y/n," he repeated firmly, his tone unwavering, "promise you won't do this again. Promise me right now, or I promise you we're done." 

His words hung heavy in the air, laden with the weight of their love and their future together. Suddenly, she started feeling slightly lightheaded. Did he just-? No, he wouldn't...would he? But he just said- 

"W-what? You can't be serious”  

“I'm sorry, Y/n, but you have to choose” 

As the gravity of what he had just said sunk in, Peter felt a wave of nausea wash over him. Had he really just threatened to end their relationship if she refused to comply? He loved this girl with all his heart, yet here he was, holding their relationship hostage like some sort of bargaining chip. 

He swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving hers. He needed her to know he was serious. But he also needed her to understand this was for their own good. For her safety. For their future. 

"Y/n," he said softly, but firmly, "promise me." 

"But you just- you just said this isn't a fleeting thing. That we are in this together. You just said-", her voice broke and a fresh set of tears ran down her cheeks. 

"And I meant it. I meant every word. But..." Peter paused, his gaze still fixed on her tear-streaked face. "But I can't watch you put yourself in danger like this. I can't stand idly by, watching you risk your life, your future, your everything just to prove a point. I can't promise you my undying love and then stand idly by and watch you throw it away. This isn't some game, Y/n. It's real life. And in real life, people get hurt. People get killed." 

"No. You don't understand. I'm always very careful. I follow protocol. I do everything right-"  

The words came out uneven, trembling as if her emotions were fighting their way through every syllable. Each word seemed to catch in her throat, rasping and shaking as she struggled to speak through the tears. 

"This isn't fair. You can't do this. Peter, you can't-", her own sobs prevented her from speaking. The hesitation in her voice mirrored the vulnerability in her eyes, wavering as though afraid to break completely. 

“No, Y/n, it's not fair!" Peter retorted, his emotions boiling over. "It's not fair that I have to sit here, worrying about you every second of every day. It's not fair that you get to waltz into a dangerous situation, risking everything, and leave me here wondering if I'm ever going you to see you again. That is not fair. But it's the reality of who we are. And I can't watch you do this to yourself, to me, to us." 

After he spoke the room fell silent. All that could be heard was the heaviness of Peter's breathing and Y/n's soft sniffles. 

“Would you do it?” 

“Would I do what?” 

"Would you quit being Spider-Man if I asked you to?", her voice barely above a whisper. 

"Wh-what?" Peter blinked, completely taken aback by Y/n's sudden question. It felt like a punch to the gut, the very thought of giving up being Spider-Man. It was a part of him, just as much as the love he had for her, and he couldn't imagine living a life without it. 

"Why would you-? No, Y/n," he sputtered, the words stumbling out before he could stop himself. "It's not the same. What I do, it's different. I have powers. I have responsibilities-" 

"Okay, then.” 

There was a hint of disappointment and an even bigger hint of finality in the way she said it. That was all she said. Such small and insignificant words, but in that moment, it could potentially signify the end of an era, the end of their era. 

The silence that followed was stifling, the weight of Y/n's words hanging heavily in the air. Peter stared at her, his heart in his throat. This couldn't be it, could it? After everything they had been through, was this really how it would end? 

"No. Y/n, you can't-" Peter's voice broke, his voice hoarse with emotion. "You can't possibly want me to choose between you and my duty as Spider-Man. It's...it's not a fair choice. It's not fair to ask me to give up-" 

“I'm not. I was just... wondering if you'd do the very same thing you're asking me to do”, she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.  

Peter's heart clenched as he watched the tears stream down her cheeks. The realization of what he had done hit him like a ton of bricks. Had he really just demanded she choose between her desire to help and her love for him? Had he really just issued an ultimatum that threatened their entire relationship?  

His shoulders slumped, his resolve suddenly shattered. 

"I...I didn't mean..." He stammered, his voice cracking under the weight of his mistake. "Y/n, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm-" 

"At least you won't have to deal with my recklessness anymore", she chuckled bitterly, her tone only half joking. Her voice was quiet and tired as a result of all the crying. 

She really didn't want their relationship to end, especially not like this. Maybe if she took a moment to calm down (if only she could just close her eyes for a minute) she'd see they were both overreacting. They both had their point. Maybe they could even hug it out. That could work, right? It works for kindergarteners; it could work for them, too. But in her emotional and restless state all she could think about was one upping him, making him feel guilty for ever threatening to end things. 

Peter's heart cracked at Y/n's half-hearted attempt at humor. He knew he had a lot of apologizing to do, but right now all he wanted to do was make it right. He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't even begin to imagine a life without her.  

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, his Spidey-Sense suddenly flared, causing him to freeze mid-breath. "Hang on," he interrupted, his brow furrowed in concentration, his senses now fully alert. He stood silently, focusing on the signals his Spidey-Sense was sending him. Something was off, something was wrong. 

His eyes darted around the room, his attention flicking to the window. Was that... movement? A shadow? A flicker of something out of the ordinary. Y/n's eyes followed Peter's line of sight on the window behind them, noticing something. Before she had the time to let Peter know, the object she noticed was already on its way to their room.  

Acting purely on instinct, in a fragment of a second, she had pushed Peter off the bed, and fell on top of him, concealing him from whatever was going to burst through the window.  

Peter's Spider-Sense blared again, a split second later than it would have been if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own emotions. 

The force of the blast sent a wave of debris and smoke swirling through the apartment. Glass shattered around them, raining down like sharp, shiny confetti. 

The rush of adrenaline barely let her register the feeling of glass breaking her skin. Peter's eyes widened as he realized what was happening. Y/n had flung herself on top of him, shielding him from the impending explosion. He tried to push her off him, his strength kicking in, knowing he could withstand the blast. 

But it was too late. The shockwave of the blast hit them, sending them crashing against a nearby wall. Peter instinctively wrapped his arms around Y/n, trying to protect her as much as he could. The explosion was deafening, the pain momentarily blinding.  

Once the dust began to settle, Peter slowly let go of Y/n, trying to catch his bearings. Peter's eyes darted around the destroyed room, trying to assess the damage. The devastation was staggering — shattered windows, smoke filling the room, debris everywhere. But his focus was on Y/n; the only thing that mattered right now. 

He gently grasped her shoulders, pulling her towards him, trying to assess her injuries. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice shaky with worry. "Please, please tell me you're okay." 

She barely noticed the sharp ache on her side or the warmth of blood trickling down her temple as she looked over the charred remains of what had once been their home. Her eyes stayed fixed on the crumbled remains of their house, where years of memories now lay in twisted, blackened ruins. The faint ache in her ribs with each breath was nothing compared to the hollow thud in her chest as she stared at the space that had once been their home.  

Her breathing was shallow, ragged—not from exertion, but from the weight of what she’d lost. Every step sent a jolt of agony through her body, but she ignored it, her focus locked on the blackened timbers and ashes that used to hold their memories, their life. What was a little pain compared to this? 

Peter's grip on her shoulders tightened slightly, his fingers digging into her flesh. "Y/n, look at me," he demanded, his voice firm. "Look at me and tell me you're okay." 

He needed to know she was alright. He couldn't handle the alternative. The thought of losing her was more terrifying than any explosion or villain. 

"Pete, our home. It's... it's gone” 

Her words stumbled out, disjointed and hollow, as if her mind was still scrambling to catch up. ““The picture wall, the stupid chemistry pun posters... they're all... gone.” Her mouth hung slightly open, her voice barely above a whisper, like she couldn’t trust the weight of her own thoughts. Every sentence felt like a question, her tone wavering between incredulity and desperate denial, as if speaking it aloud might somehow undo the reality before them.  

Peter's heart ached at her words. The thought of everything they had built together being destroyed was almost too much to bear. But right now, the only thing that mattered was Y/n. 

He took a deep breath, pushing aside his own emotions.  

"It's just stuff, Y/n. Things. We can get new stuff. None of it matters as long as you're okay." 

“But it won't be *our* stuff” 

Peter's heart broke at her words. She was right. Nothing could replace the sentimental value of their shared belongings — their collective memories and shared experiences. But he had to remain strong for her. He couldn't afford to break down when she needed him. 

"We'll make new memories. Better memories. I promise," he said softly, his hands still on her shoulders. "We'll find a new place, and we'll make it ours. It'll be even better than before. You have to trust me." 

"Trust you? You just broke up with me!”, her tone was almost accusing as tears began running down her face. 

Peter's heart felt like it was tearing in two as the words left Y/n's lips. He hadn't meant it, he *never* would have meant it. He only wanted to protect her, to keep her safe. But he realized his own fear and anxiety had caused him to make a mistake, a terrible mistake. 

"Y/n, baby, please," he pleaded. "It wasn't real. I was scared. I was worried about you going out and putting yourself in danger. I... I panicked. Please, you have to know... I love you." 

"You have a funny way of showing people you love them", she muttered sarcastically under her breath. “Anyway, is that supposed to make me feel better? You gave me an ultimatum, we kinda broke up and an explosive device literally demolishes our home". Angry tears were running down her face. 

"What is going on today? And you were mad because what? Because I risked my life? NEWS FLASH, PETER. THAT'S WHAT YOU DO ALL THE GODDAMN TIME. But I TRUST you and BELIEVE in your need to contribute to the greater good"  

"And I'd never- ah, fuck", she hissed and pressed down on her side 

Peter's eyes widened. Immediately, all other thoughts faded into the background. He quickly moved to her side, lifting up her shirt to assess the damage. His eyes fell on a nasty cut on her side, blood slowly seeping out.  

"You're bleeding," Peter said, his voice trembling with panic. "Why the hell didn't you say something earlier?" 

"Because I was in need of a red shirt- obviously I didn't know!"  

Her tone sounded sarcastic and frustrated; a hint of fear mixed in there as well. 

Peter huffed, feeling an emotional whirlwind. Mainly relief and the tiniest bit of irritation. Of course, she couldn't resist a snarky comment even in a crisis. 

"Right, because bleeding is the current trend," he quipped, trying to match her tone. "Red's not really your color, by the way. You're more of an orange gal." 

He couldn't help but feel a hint of affection towards her, even as he berated her. 

“Parker, I swear to God, if you don't zip it right now, I'll make you regret ever asking me out on that first date” 

Peter paused for a moment, caught off guard by her comment as it reminded him how he just threatened his lovely girlfriend -who he's madly in love with and would literally die for- he'd break up with her if she didn't stop doing something she loves. Her words sent a jolt of guilt through him; he could hear the hurt in her voice, and he knew he was the cause of it. 

He shook his head, pushing the weight of his mistake to the side for now. Y/n was bleeding, and that was his first priority. He would deal with the fallout of his ultimatum later.  

"Hang on," he said softly, gently lifting her up. "We need to stop the bleeding. Then we'll talk." 

He gently wrapped his arm around her waist, supporting her weight as they made their way to what was left of the kitchen. The sink miraculously survived the explosion, and he helped her lean against it. Grabbing a clean cloth, he ran it under the faucet, wetting it.  

"This might hurt," he warned, gently pressing the cloth to her wound. 

“I'm not talking to you”, she said almost right away. 

Peter paused at Melina's response. Her voice was laced with frustration, and he couldn't blame her. He had screwed up, big time. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. She was being stubborn, and he knew she had every right to be. 

"Look, I get it. You don't want to hear from me right now. I messed up, and I know that," he said softly, his gaze fixed on her. "But you're bleeding. I have to help you. Please, let me help you. Then you can go back to giving me the silent treatment if you want, okay? Plus, you don't have to talk. I'll do all the talking. Just let me patch you up, okay?" 

His voice was gentle, the frustration and anger from earlier having faded into the background. He knew that making things right with Y/n was going to take more than just words. It was going to take action. 

"I don't want to hear you talk either", she mumbled childishly. 

Peter raised an eyebrow at her petulant response. He had no doubt she wasn't in the mood to engage in conversation right now, but he refused to let her bleed out on her own floor because she was mad at him. He had to patch her up.  

He exhaled softly, gathering a bundle of supplies from a nearby first-aid kit. 

"You know, you're adorable when you're angry," he commented, unable to help himself. He started carefully cleaning the wound, his hands moving with precision and care. 

"And you're still talking" 

He couldn't help but smile at her stubbornness. He had truly fallen for a strong, independent woman. "Sorry, I just can't resist when my girlfriend's bleeding and fuming. It's a dangerous combination." 

He carefully began stitching up her wound, his hands steady and sure. "Just remember, a little bit of anger and banter make for the best love stories. We might be the next big blockbuster, with how dramatic we are." 

“Ex girlfriend", she corrected with an eye roll at the irony of it all. 

"And no love story for us. You can pursue your romance with the Becky from down the street now", she said grumpily, the thought alone tugging at her heartstrings 

Peter let out a sigh of exasperation at Y/n's correction. He knew he had made a mistake, and it hurt to see her refer to herself as his ex-girlfriend, but for now, her cut had his full attention. He couldn't get sidetracked. 

"You're right, I'm sorry. But you know, we could be the next enemies to lovers, if you play your cards right. A little banter, a little fighting, and then some dramatic make-up scene. The audience will love it." 

He finished stitching up her wound, his touch gentle despite his words. 

She wanted to stay mad at him, she really did. But it was hard to when he was making silly little comments like these. A small smile made its way to her face but she quickly bit down on her lip to stop herself before he saw and got cocky about it. 

Peter's keen Spidey senses picked up on the shift in her demeanor. He caught the subtle smile she tried to hide, and it warmed his heart. 

"Oh, is that a smile I see?" He said in a teasing tone. "I knew my charm would get to you eventually. Just imagine, if you're already smiling after breaking up, what could happen if we make up? The world might just explode from our awesomeness." 

"No one's smiling, you must've hit your head" 

Peter chuckled at her quick defense of her smile. He finished applying an antiseptic to the wound and gently covered it with a clean bandage.  

"Right, of course, I'm just seeing things," he replied with a playful wink. "But hey, if I did hit my head, maybe I'm having a vivid dream where you and I are the star-crossed lovers in the epic love story that is our lives. And you know what that means, right?" 

He leaned in close, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Wake me up with a kiss, Melina." 

"That was the corniest thing I've ever heard. Plus, I have this rule of not kissing ex boyfriends, sorry" 

"You're really gonna play hard to get?", Peter countered, a grin spreading across his face. "Well, I guess I'll just have to win you back then. I've defeated villains and battled super-powered monsters. Winning your heart back can't be much harder, right?" 

He stood up, helping her up as he did so. He couldn't resist pulling her towards him, his hands lightly settling on her hips. "And just so you know, I'm a great kisser." 

"Really? You'd think I would know, considering we spent the last four years of our lives together" 

"Touché. But you know what they say, practice makes perfect. Maybe I should give you a refresher. After all, I can't have you going around thinking I'm a bad kisser, can I?" 

He gently brushed a lock of hair away from her face, his gaze filled with affection. 

"So what do you say? For old time's sake?" 

"Old time being... yesterday?" 

Peter shrugged with a sheepish grin. "Well, technically yes, but you know what I meant. Besides, yesterday was a lifetime ago. We've had an explosion, a break-up, and a reunion. That's a lot more than most couples experience in a lifetime." 

He paused for a moment, a genuine warmth seeping into his voice. 

"In all seriousness, Y/n, I messed up. I've regretted it this entire time. I'm so sorry. Please give me another chance to prove it. To prove that we're... perfect together." 

“ ‘This entire time’ being...what? Thirty minutes?"*she said with a snort of amusement. 

Peter chuckled, his smile widening. "Alright, alright, I get it. We can't all be as patient as you with our ex-boyfriends. But seriously, Y/n, I mean it. I regret what I said. I was scared, and I made a mistake." 

He paused for a moment, his gaze growing serious. "I love you. I want you. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win back your trust and heart." 

He took her hand, his fingers intertwining with hers. "Can we... just start over? Please?" 

She pulled her hand away from his and just stood there, watching him for a moment. After a bit she extended her arm towards him and introduced herself. 

"Y/n Stark", she said with the tiniest of smiles evident on her lips. 

“Who's being corny now?”, he rolled his eyes in a playful manner before wrapping his hand around hers, savoring the feel of her skin against his. 

"Y/n Stark," Peter echoed, his voice soft with affection "It's a pleasure to meet you, Y/n Stark. I'm Peter Parker. But you can call me anytime." 

With that, he gently pulled her closer, his free hand reaching up to caress her cheek. He leaned in, his lips gently brushing against hers, sealing their newfound beginning with a tender, heartfelt kiss. She laughed softly against his lips, the pickup line catching her off guard. Peter couldn't ignore the fluttering in his chest as her laughter met his lips. The sound was like music to his ears, and he deepened the kiss, his arms wrapping around her waist. 

Pulling away slightly, he whispered in her ear, "Did that meet your witty standards, Miss Stark?" 

"I'll let it slide", she said with a serious expression, nodding slightly before a smile made its way on her face again. 

Peter grinned, his eyes sparkling with adoration. "Only let it slide? I'll have to step up my game, then. How about this?" 

He leaned in again, his voice a low murmur against her lips. "I swear I'll be your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man if you let me swing by your place every night." 

She snorted in amusement “That was so bad” 

“Was it now?” With that, he captured her lips in a kiss, expressing the depth of his feelings for her with each lingering moment. 

Their lips met softly, tenderly, as if every touch was a gentle reminder of how much they meant to each other. It was unhurried, each moment lingering with the quiet depth of love that words could never capture. There was no urgency, only a profound warmth, a silent apology woven into the way their hands cupped each other’s faces. The kiss held forgiveness, not as a plea, but as a gift, an unspoken promise that they were ready to move forward together. It wasn’t just an expression of love—it was a vow, a renewal of everything they’d shared and everything they still hoped to build. 

After a bit, they pulled away to catch their breath.  

“So, we're together again?”, she asked playfully. 

He looked at her, his eyes sparkling with amusement as before he softly kissed her forehead "Please, we were never not together” 

With that, they fell in silence. 

The silence wrapped around them like a soft blanket, warm and steady, filling the spaces where words weren’t needed. It wasn’t heavy or awkward but gentle, a quiet acknowledgment of shared understanding. The only sounds were the subtle rhythm of their breathing and the faint rustle of the world outside, creating a calm that felt almost sacred. In that stillness, there was no need to explain, no need to fill the air with chatter—it was enough just to be there, side by side, letting the silence speak what their hearts already knew. 

“Are we going to ignore the fact that we're homeless?” 

A small chuckle left Peter's lips as he pulled her closer. 

"You always have to ruin the mood”, he said jokingly, “We'll figure it out, baby. Just you and me. And your dad. We should probably call him and beg him to let us crash because we're kind of screwed otherwise”  

[brittle-doughie]

I’ll Miss You (Ancient Cookies)

Angst really was overdue for a while! Sometimes, it’s for the best in these situations..

You noticed that Pure Vanilla Cookie was rather bright and friendly towards White Lily, even more-so then he was with you. You tried to ignore it and try to say it was just their friendship being nice to justify it, but it became harder to do so when you saw how nice he was her.

When Pure Vanilla came home to your castle’s chambers, he already knew by the atmosphere that something was wrong, he was worried as he asked what was wrong?

You announced separation.

He was already crying as he pleaded with you to reconsider, he didn’t mean to make you feel neglected, he was so sorry, you were way more important to him. He kept pleading as tears overwhelmed his eyes, voice shaky beyond belief.

Time would go by, you two would remain friends…but Pure Vanilla will forever be haunted with the guilt of losing you…you didn’t deserve to lose him…his heart couldn’t bear to see you with another cookie…

He will never love anyone else as much as you….

Hollyberry Cookie was always going out, traveling the lands and fighting ferocious monsters. They were only once in a while, but they started to get more and more frequent…leaving you alone at home more and more. You tried to stick it out, but it only ended up hurting more and more…until you made the painful decision to announce separation.

If she wanted to be free to venture the world with nothing tying her down…then you’ll set her free…

You had never seen someone go a complete 180 in personality. She ran straight towards you and enveloped in one of her crushing hugs. No…no! You two cannot separate…not now…not ever! She did want to travel the farthest reaches of Earthbread and fight the most terrible monsters…but she did not want to lose you…

You returned the hug as you tell her you’ll always love her. This only made her cry harder as she realized how much she’ll miss you too, it felt like agony. She whispers in your ear that she loves you too. She loves you so, so, so much…

Every cookie in the kingdom could tell Hollyberry wasn’t nearly as jolly and cheery as she used to be, her heart felt empty without you. She can never shake off this agonizing feeling of her broken heart.

She didn’t care nor want adventure and excitement from fighting monsters…what she truly wanted was you…

Dark Cacao Cookie was paranoid, he wanted that wall fortified by any means necessary, he dedicated all his time and effort to making sure the kingdom’s defenses were in top shape to fend off any siege. You were proud of him for being protective and considerate of his kingdom and the cookies within, but you felt like he was growing more and more distant with you.

It didn’t help that his advisor, Affogato Cookie, insisted that Dark Cacao focused on the castle, it had to be able to fend off a whole army! Cacao promised time and time again that tonight would be the night dedicated to the both of you. Cue him being too busy about the Wall again…another evening together…never fulfilled.

It was clear that his kingdom was his top priority and while you fine with it, it still hurt you to see that he won’t step away from a moment to show that he still loves you, nor keep to his promises of time together.

He’ll be the most collected of the ancients when came time to separate, but on the inside was his emotions go haywire. He’ll be insistent that THIS TIME, he’ll drop everything this evening to spend with you! Please give him this chance…

He struggled to keep himself together when around you, it made his heart ache when he saw you talk to cookies with the kindness and happy mood that you used to talk to him with. It made his regrets go through the roof.

He promises to get you back…in one way or another…

You were left wondering these days if Golden Cheese Cookie valued her gold and treasures more then she did valuing you. She says that she needed to keep up her reputation and alike, but when she showed more excitement for the gifts her subjects brought her then your homemade ones, it made you wonder if you were loving her enough…

You tried and tried to make gifts that were up to her standards, but…nothing seemed to work. The guilt of you believing that you were not enough to make her feel loved anymore grew worse and worse…until the thought of splitting came to you. Golden acheese deserved someone who was capable of making her happy, capable of making gifts that made her happy…

She flew into a fit of sorrow and rage, who was telling you that she didn’t love you enough?! They will pay for their rancid nonsense! She didn’t want to believe that she was the one to tank your relationship, hurting you is the last thing she wanted to do! It would take you and some of her subjects holding her close to calm her down.

It would finally dawn on her that she had no excuses, she under-appreciated you and your efforts. She allowed her desire to be spoiled in her riches to take over, she regretted this so much…your homemade presents have so much more value, she didn’t deserve them…

The castle felt empty with you gone, she didn’t have the energy to mercilessly rule over her subjects, she actually grew to detest the shiny gifts her subjects gave her, it was a constant reminder that amongst all these riches, she lost the one treasure that shined to her the most..

She’d even sell her whole kingdom just to have the chance to earn you and your trust again….all these riches…they didn’t matter anymore….only you mattered

No.

White Lily Cookie is not even going to get it to that point, you’re her special cookie. She’s ready to drop her pursuit for the creation of a perfect cookie if she detects that it’s affecting you in any way and capacity.

But by the off chance that it does, she’ll already be all over you, crying and pleading that no magic was any more special then you. She’s completely willing to give it all up to keep you by her side! Walking away won’t do you any good, she’s already clung her arms around your legs.

She won’t let mere pieces of paper stand in her way, they didn’t matter to her in the slightest. She loves you too much to let you go that easily. She’s terrified that once she lets you go, she’ll never be able to hold onto you ever again…

Similar to Pure Vanilla but to even worse extent. She can never move on from you, the mere thought of giving her love to another or you doing so broke her heart…she wouldn’t want to move on anyway. You were hers as she belonged to you…

She was nothing without you…you…are her everything…

[bigball-thefrog]

Hello, just wanted to say that i enjoyed your last two fics, they’re pretty cool! Could you maybe do another Law fic? Perhaps maybe the reader was also taken in by the donxitoute (I fs spelt that wrong)family at a young age just like Law was when he was younger. And like obviously Law and the reader grew up together with the donxitoute family, like they became close and eventually developed crushes on one another. But Corazón wasn’t able to take the reader on time because Doflamanigo never kept his eyes away from her because she had this really strong devil fruit. Then when years go by obviously Law and the Reader are older but she’s still in the family and became an executive. Obviously she doesn’t stand what Doffy does and wants to betray him just like Viola but she doesn’t have an opening due to how valuable she is to him. And Doflamingo always has her by his side. Maybe when Law teams up with the strawhats, he mentions her and how he needs to help her and get out of there. This would probably take place a bit in the end of Punk Hazard and through Dressrosa. (Also it would be cool if the reader and Viola were close friends). You can turn this into a series because i think that would be cool.

Hello hello hello!!! Thank you for the request sorry it took me so long to reply to you. As I said in a different post, I had started my exams, and I am finished now so I'm catching up on my requests. Sorry for being late and I hope it is to your liking

Warnings/Tags:

Law X Fem!Reader

Dressrosa and end of Punk Hazzard spoilers

______________________________

Narrator POV

Like the other kids, you were orphaned and left to die. You came across the Donquixote family, and despite being thrown away (literally) by Corazon, you were stubborn and kept coming back. Then one day Doflamingo discovered your Devilfruit ability (you decide what it is) and thought of how useful it would be, and soon you were a valued member of the family.

Eventually Law came along and when he was eventually accepted into the family, you were curious. He was always cold or angry and tried to keep to himself all the time, but you made sure that never happened. You'd always stick together, almost hunt him down at times, always speaking, always trying to get him to play when you weren't busy. He hated it, he hated you'd never leave him alone or shut up, no matter what you did he'd never lighten up or let you get close... But of course, you eventually did get close, really close actually, as tike went by on the Doflamingo pirates you both became close, inseparable even, you won were a team that fought side by side. But as of recently Law's disease was getting worse and he was slowly dying. You begged and begged Doflamingo to take him to a doctor but there was nothing he could do. You knew Law's time was getting short, that's why you became extra clingy. Wanting to spend as much time as you could together, but one day he just disappeared, with Corazon.. You were heartbroken that they suddenly disappeared, your best friend, and your first crush, gone.

Time went by and you did your best to forget about him. Then one night you stopped at a snowy island, for some reason Doflamingo never let you leave the ship. You wanted to complain but you knew better than question him, so you stayed put. Once you saw Doflamingo trapped the island with his strings you knew something was really wrong. When everyone came back, you ran up to Doflamingo to ask what had happened but something seemed wrong with him, like he was on the verge of snapping at anyone that got too close. So you decided to wait for him to calm down before asking. When he eventually did lighten up, which took much longer than you thought, he told you everything about what Law and Corazon did, and everything changed for you. You started to hate Doflamingo and grew colder towards him, and when he took over Dressrosa those feelings doubled down, but you knew that no matter how much you hated him now, there was no way to leave without dying...

One good that came from the takeover of Dressrosa was meeting Viola, you both quickly became close on your shared hatred for Doflamingo, so at least you had a close friend again.

--------------------------------------------------

~Now~

You were called to speak with Doflamingo, he stood by an open window, seeming tense, "Doflamingo? You wanted to speak?" He turned to you, a small scowl on his face, "You've been under my direct command and my command only since you've joined, right?" He asked, you nodded. "And you'd never betray me... Right?" He asked, the threat clear in his tone, you froze for a second but nodded. "Good... Congratulations, you've now been promoted to one of my executives, you're taking Vergo's place" you looked at him shocked confused, "But what happened? Why am I replacing Vergo??" Doflamingo only scowled, it was a similar to the scowl he had when he killed Corazon. "Did something happen at Punk Hazzard?" "Yes" "Monette too?" He stayed silent this time which told you everything you needed to know, "Was it?..." "Law..." He said. Your heart raced at hearing that name again after all these years, you'd seem him in the newspapers once or twice, but you didn't know what he was like now, a part of you still missed him, but it wasn't time for that now. "Alright, I'll accept Vergo's place," You said. Doflamingo stood on the open windowsill, "Good. I'm going to he gone for a bit, you make sure nothing goes to shit while I'm out..." And he left. You knew that if Law was in Punk Hazzard that he'd probably come to Dressrosa soon, you weren't sure if you were mentally ready for that, but you knew that it didn't matter because you'd have to confront him soon, and you knew when he was here, you had an important choice to make...

--------------------------------------------------

Law POV

I was currently in the kitchen of the All Sunny with the rest of Strawhats, telling them my plans for what was going to happen in Dressrosa. As I talked about the plan, but an idea popped in my head and I mumbled out the name of someone I hadn't thought about in years. "Who's that?" Luffy asked, "An... An old Friend." I muttered out, "They were someone I was close to when I was still in Doflamingos crew. They had a powerful Devilfruit ability that could help us save Dressrosa. But they're constantly under the watch of Doflamingo or one of the other executives.. But, I left her alone all those years ago, and it would kill me to leave her again... I need to save her..." I gripped the table as I thought about how I had to leave and couldn't take her with me, I left her, alone and in the clutches of that bastard Doflamingo. Luffy just flashed his signature smile, "Well if she's a friend of yours, she's a friend of mine. Well save her Tra-guy!" I scowled at the nickname, but a sense of relief washed over me and I looked towards the direction Dressrosa was, "Don't worry, I'll save you this time, and I'll never leave you again, my dear friend."

______________________________

Alright, this is the first of a few that I will be posting today so I'll be back real soon after I finish writing the next request, see you in probably a hour

Kelly🐸

[midnightmah07]

Info about Rosantée — a made up dorm from RSA based on Belle (Beauty and The Beast)

disclaimer: rosantée is a dorm I decided to create with the help of @viilpstick for our RSA OCs; she was also the one to make the dorm emblem<33

Name (by @viilpstick): Rosantée [rose + enchantée (enchanted)]

Based on: The Fearless Princess (Belle)

Values: bravery and knowledge

Official colors: orange/yellowish orange and blue

Theme: red roses

Housewarden: Isabelle Desroisiers

Vice Housewarden: Adeline Rosique (by @viilpstick)

Dorm background

Other students:

Poppy Cosette (twisted from Little Red Riding Hood; by @justm3di0cr3)

Lucie Dechandelle (twisted from Lumière; by @mhedusard)

Fauna de Lis (twisted from the enchanted rose from B&B; by @shinysparklesapphires)

Audette Plume (twisted from the featherduster from B&B; by @localanimeidiot)

Lucien Feu (twisted from Lumière as well; by @localanimeidiot)

Aurélius Bruntemp (twisted from Cogsworth; by @localanimeidiot)

Daria Olympia (twisted from Athena; by @cecilebutcher)

Others can be added in the future!! The more the merrier!!<33

Rosantée is a dorm similar to Heartslabyul and Pomefiore in terms of strictness. Most students of this dorm are extremely book and/or street smart and with Isabelle as their housewarden they hardly ever fall behind and repeat a year. Isabelle never lets her dorm members slack off but is always willing to give a helping hand, understanding that some have more difficulty in studying than others.

The students in Rosantée excel at both studies and sports, some of them good enough to be a part of RSA's Spelldrive team. Rosantée is often looked down upon for their aesthetics — somewhat of a mixture between Pomefiore and Diasomnia — and for having a small and fragile looking housewarden, but this dorm should not be judged by its cover as it's often more fierce than it seems.

Their dorm is a big castle similar to Pomefiore's, but while it's well taken care of, it can often be scary compared to other dorms because of their multiple gargoyles, — and grotesques, thank you for the distinction, Malleus — baroque inspired architecture and for being placed in a forest that gives it a somewhat gloomy and dark look.

Rosantée's theme is a red rose, being seen in their dorm uniforms and actual red roses being placed at the dorm's castle at diverse places. Red roses are said to be a symbol of a curse The Fearless Princess was able to break a long time ago.

The dorm also has a big library, distinctive place for big banquets which happen often to represent The Fearless Princess usual banquets at her own castle — Be Our Guest reference — and a huge ballroom; The library is a common place used for each student to study and to spend time together, think of it as a common room.

There’s also a place called “west wing”, a tower on the left side of the dorm but Ambrose LXIII forbids the entrance of anyone there. The headmage says that that place contains a curse and whoever goes in there will get a horrible punishment for it. Rumors have it that Adeline's family made the curse. Isabelle is responsible of not letting anyone in there, however she herself has an immense curiosity to know what lies in there. More info about Rosantée and the West Wing in specific can be found in my friend's story event here!

Since we're getting female characters into this school the dorms are separated between the two genders, the left side being for girls only while the right side is for boys only. Isabelle and Adeline have a copy of all the keys given their status as housewarden and vice.

Added information: similarly to Heartslabyul which has flamingos and hedgehogs, Rosantée has a little doggie called Pax!

More information about the dorm may be added and/or changed in the future as I discuss with my mutuals about the subject! Ty for reading this far<3

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Molly O’Shea X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute and Fluffy Imagine Prompt

• WIP!

• Based around events of Red Dead Redemption 2 game (Starting officially in Colter, Grizzly Mountains, but this might change - introduction is in Blackwater)

• There will be more!

!TW: Implied suffering from depression + Separation Anxiety + Anxiety, having to endure/hide from homophobia, jealousy, involuntary drug use, implied sexual occurrences, swearing, smoking, violence, self put-down(s) + elements of self doubt, mention of previously being kidnapped + abused, mention of child abandonment, weaponry, animal attack, injury detail, blood, implied suffering from PTSD, Hunting/Animal death + skinning, suicidal consideration(s)+ intent(ions) + attempt(s), presence of alcohol + implied substance abuse - if I’ve missed any, let me know ❤️!

You and Molly O’Shea had always been best friends - even verging on being something more sometimes, but eventually the time came when she’d visited you at Old Trail Rise near Lemoyne to tell you that she’d officially got together with a man named Dutch Van Der Linde, leaving you feeling unexpectedly as well as excruciatingly empty inside; you never thought that you’d lose her to someone else, though she’d suggested that maybe it would be better that either you or her, or the both of you find male partners to avoid suspicion regarding your and her sexuality - it wasn’t widely acceptable, and often punishable by death, to be attracted to the same sex, and she wanted to protect you from being hung, somehow, to the best of her ability, no matter what that might mean for you both, but she was determined to not let this new development stop you both from seeing one another in secret.

As soon as she’d suggested you join the gang with her help, you couldn’t say no, though it was painful to think about how you’d be having to see her and Dutch together, and you didn’t like being reminded of how you wouldn’t be able to spend as much time together, after you’d been able to before she’d met him, the leader of the gang. It seemed to be going okay, at first; nobody suspected you, and that remained to be the case now, but sometimes seeing her and Dutch together proved to be enough to be excruciating for you to the point that you couldn’t help, but allow your jealousy to take over, resulting in a fight taking place between you and her regarding the situation. However, it wasn’t often long after that fight before you began to break down following your and her brief avoidance of one another, crying within your tent whilst she cradled you close to her after secretly drugging Dutch to make him sleep more deeply, allowing her to tend to you without risk of him catching you both somehow. As you were terrified of losing her, you often showered her with apologies and shaky sweet nothings whilst you buried your face into her right shoulder, and silently begged her for forgiveness that she had already given you several times over before you even had to ask her, and try to prove yourself to her again as you wanted her to feel how special she was, and wanted her to know that you valued everything about her, and knew you always would, no matter what the future might hold for you both.

“I - I know you’re doing it to protect us,” you reassured her in a shaky voice close to a whisper, and Molly would nod slowly whilst she stroked your hair using her right hand, a pained expression on her face whilst she began to regret getting with Dutch the way she had, but she tried to tell herself that she was doing the right thing for the both of you, knowing that as long as she was with him, nobody would ever suspect you both, therefore deeming you safe from the possibility of having a noose around your neck as a result of having your sexualities exposed. “A-And I know I should never have reacted like that, I-.. I’m so sorry, Mol, I really am, I-”

“No, Y/n,” she interjected gently, before affectionately connecting her forehead to your’s, silencing you whilst you subconsciously admired her, and couldn’t help, but smile softly whilst your eyes locked with her stunning icy blue ones in the best way possible, “don’t apologise; I know this is hard - t-that it’s hard for you to see me and Dutch together, but - you know I love you, don’t ya? And that will never change, I promise; it will always only ever be you for me, no matter what, just promise me you’ll never forget that, will ya?”

You would pretend to think about it for a moment, prompting her to pout a little, and you to grin, before you giggled quietly, and would lean forward to delicately connect your lips to her own, prompting her and your heart to skip a beat whilst they raced together blissfully.

“I’ll never forget that you love me, I promise; how could I ever forget anything that the beautiful Molly O’Shea tells me?” You replied, prompting her to appear flustered for a moment whilst blood rushed up to her cheeks, but she would try and hide it by smirking over at you, and silently thanking how dark it currently was within the tent she’d had set up for you.

“Oh stop it, you,” she responded exasperatedly, before leaning in to initiate a slightly deeper kiss whilst you both would cling to one another again, and whilst she had control she would manage to trap you beneath her - it was time for your and her next round of the ‘try to be quiet’ game, and you both loved it.

🜸🜚🜸

The next time you both met up secretly together was up in the Grizzly Mountains in Colter after you and the gang had had to flee from Blackwater following the failed robbery that had taken place there due to Dutch’s developing ability of putting together poor plans that seemed to get you and the others nowhere good for very long. As you still weren’t exactly used to being around the others, you agreed to sleep in the stable with your and the others’ horses, Murphy - your Friesian - constantly whinnying you a greeting whenever you entered through the double doors, often anxiously awaiting Molly O’Shea though she’d agreed to meet you during the early hours of the morning, or slightly before depending on whether Dutch was still out searching for food, John, and Micah with Arthur.

“Do - Do you really think she’s gonna turn up, Mur?” You mused quietly whilst you gently pat your companion’s neck whilst she snorted, and flicked her mane impatiently; she, too, seemed to grow a little agitated sometimes when Molly wasn’t around as you both often used to be together a lot more before she’d joined the gang, and partnered up with Dutch. “Sometimes I just get scared that maybe she’s bored of me,” you admitted dejectedly, as well as a little guiltily as you felt bad for thinking such things after all she’d promised you in the past regarding her feelings for you, “I - I mean-.. what if-.. shit.” You then lifted your right hand up to quickly wipe your eyes as small tears had managed to invade them, before you giggled feebly, evidently embarrassed at yourself for being so weak whenever you were thinking, or talking about Molly. “I ain’t sure why I’m crying, I just-..” You murmured, whilst Murphy innocently nibbled at the material of your waistcoat. “Sometimes I think she deserves better than me, I guess,” you concluded, “a-anyway - I shouldn’t be wasting your time with my problems, should I? Sorry, girl - how are you, today?” Murphy then whinnied, and nuzzled at your nose, prompting you to start giggling again whilst you wrapped your arms around her neck, and affectionately connected your forehead to her snout. “I’m glad,” you replied, “I don’t know what I’d do without you, you know that, right?” Murphy then snorted, prompting you to grin sheepishly in response to her action, before you sighed heavily, and begrudgingly let go of her to lean against her stall door, and take out a golden pocket watch you’d recently managed to steal from some random guy who’d threatened Molly on your and her way to the gang’s camp when it was back in Blackwater, after you’d agreed to join it to maintain your and her relationship somehow without being caught by the others. Of course you’d offered for her to have it, but she insisted that you keep it as you’d done the honours of saving her life, and you didn’t want to upset her like you knew you would if you turned it down, and recalled - with a soft smile playing on your lips - how you’d gently kissed her on her lips, left cheek, and even her nose to give her something back, as well as to make her giggle as you loved to hear her laughing; seeing her happy made you happier than you’d ever been before, as you’d always only ever wanted to do all you could to make her happy, and to show her that you valued her more than anything you ever had before you’d first met, and fallen deeply as well as helplessly in love with her.

“I guess there’s still time, right-?” You inquired, as if Murphy could answer you, before you winced, and would shrug, before slipping the pocket watch back into the compartment you’d drawn it out from, and would smile over at her, whilst trying to think of things you could do to distract yourself as well as your impatient friend who was now stamping her front right hoof, and snorting at you whenever you looked over at her; you loved her occasional random changes of demeanour, and couldn’t fathom how you’d got so lucky as to find her the day you had, before you’d stolen her from Emerald Ranch as you’d always struggled with acquiring much money for anything, or any horses currently on offer to you, and naturally you’d never been good with taming wild horses, either, never finding the right one you could feel an immediate connection to, until you’d found and stolen Murphy. “I might go and have a smoke outside for a bit, s-see if she turns up,” you decided, and Murphy would flutter her lips again, before you briefly scratched at her right ear gently, and would open the stable door to go outside, and take out your pack of Premium Cigarettes whilst snow continued to pour around you, settling upon the shoulders of your coat, as well as on each of the surfaces of your hat that it could land on, and stick to successfully.

Whilst you were distracted trying to light the cigarette with matches that seemed to keep failing you due to the strong wind, Molly was timidly walking up to you, wondering why her heart was beating so fast and overwhelmingly after her gaze had blissfully fallen upon you adorably failing to light the cigarette you were currently holding in your right hand, prompting her to grin whilst she tried to fight back a laugh, evidently finding what you were doing to be amusing, and you couldn’t blame her; you knew this probably looked funny, whilst you found it frustrating that the wind was strong enough to stop you from being able to light several matchsticks; you’d have to buy some more soon, once the gang moved somewhere closer to a town consisting of a general store.

“D’you need some help with that, Miss L/n?” She offered, and you would falter upon hearing her voice, even almost dropping your cigarette only to have her manage to catch it for you, before she gently placed it within the palm of your right hand, and would affectionately hold it in her own left one whilst she smiled lovingly over at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before it began to race overwhelmingly alongside her’s whilst you stammered a little barely audibly, finding you couldn’t even think whilst you admired her, and revelled in being so close to her again. “Here,” she took out another of your matchsticks, before shielding the wind with her right hand to light it, but you found you no longer wanted the cigarette now that she was here with you again.

“Screw the cigarette,” you mustered, your voice briefly trembling, and Molly would smirk over at you, before dropping the matchstick, and stamping it out though it was already being extinguished by the snow, but she knew that - by doing it anyway - she would have more of an effect on you, and she was right, “y-you’re one hell of a woman, Miss O’Shea.” You then carefully, as well as hastily, guided her into the stable, knowing that it was too risky for you to kiss her outside where you both could easily be caught by one of the other gang members, unable to fight back your feelings for her anymore.

🜚

“I - I was scared that maybe - maybe you wouldn’t come; that Dutch and Arthur had got back already, o-or - or you just - I don’t know,” you admitted timidly, your voice close to a whisper whilst you were both cuddled up together again, the blanket you were using covering, and shielding your and her naked bodies from the cold of the snow storm outside, “I thought that you’d get bored of me, by now, I guess.”

Molly would appear taken aback by your thought; she never thought you’d think something like that, even after all she’d promised you, and it pained her slightly to think that you still doubted her feelings for you, even after all you had both already been through together ever since you were both a little shorter, as well as younger.

“Do you not remember me, Y/n-? Have I ever broken any of the promises I made ya?” She inquired, and you would frown, before shaking your head hastily whilst you appeared guilty again, wishing you’d not brought it up in the first place as you hated upsetting her like you could see you had. “So why would I, if I was bored of ya?” She pried, and you would wince, before bowing your head a little to try and hide that you were trying not to cry, knowing that it would only hurt her more to see you like this, though you couldn’t imagine why.

“I - I don’t know, I just-.. Mol, you-.. you’re everything better than me-”

“Hey,” she interjected before you could go on putting yourself down, “don’t - don’t ever say something like that, because it’s far from true; Y/n, you - you’re perfect, and I love you, just the way that you are - nothing could ever change my feelings for you, because you’re always gonna be the most perfect woman I’ve ever met, no matter what, so don’t you ever go and think that you’re not good enough for me, or I’ll have to punish you somehow, you got that?”

You would raise your eyebrows, intrigued by what she planned on doing to you if you put yourself down again whilst you grinned back at her, and would inch closer to her a little to close the gaps between you both completely; you hated having gaps of any kind between you both, always longing to feel the warmth of her own body against your’s as you felt empty whenever you both were away from one another, not making physical contact of any kind, somehow, just like she found she couldn’t bear being away from you, too, for the same reason.

“You’d punish me, Miss O’Shea?” You mused, and she would try her best not to appear flustered whilst she smirked back at you, and nodded whilst she affectionately connected her forehead to your’s again. “I’d like to know how, just - just so I’m prepared for whatever you might have in store for me,” you claimed, and she would pretend to think about it for a moment, prompting you to pout a little, until you tensed up, and shuddered a little whilst you felt her right hand painfully slowly trailing down your chest, and stomach, as if she truly were preparing to give you a demonstration of what she had been planning on doing as a makeshift ‘punishment’ for you doubting yourself, and therefore her feelings for you, but it was then that you both would falter upon hearing the sound of galloping hooves approaching - Dutch and Arthur must have just got back from their brief quest.

Your smile would then drop, and heart would sink alongside it whilst you and Molly locked eyes sadly for a moment; you’d have to part from one another now, for the night, and god knows how long you’d have to wait before she could return to you safely as she often had to wait to make sure sometimes that the drug she’d snuck him had efficiently knocked Dutch out before she could return to your side during all the nights she had done so before just to spend more time with you, though you again couldn’t imagine why she’d bother, even after what she’d previously told you; when you were low like you were, now, upon realising she’d have to leave your side again, it was easier for you to begin subconsciously doubting yourself, and therefore your worthiness to be loved by her, but you tried to hide it from her better this time, not wanting her to feel bad for leaving when she had to, as you didn’t want her to be hung, or harassed if ever she was caught with you like this somehow; you couldn’t imagine your life without her in it, and knew you’d have to die alongside her if you ever somehow lost her.

“I guess I should-..” She began, before gesticulating to the door, and you would nod gravely whilst you smiled faintly over at her, and would stare ahead of you through darker eyes whilst Molly sat up, began to collect up her clothes, and then to redress herself. “Hey,” she continued gently upon noticing the pained expression on your face, and you would wince, before glancing up at her again, and smiling shyly over at her whilst she crouched down in front of you, and would gently place her right hand on your left cheek, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and eyes to glint a little again whilst you couldn’t help, but admire her, and revel in how close you both were again, “I’ll be back tomorrow night, I promise - you’ll be okay, won’t ya?”

“O-Of course I will, as long as I’m thinking of you,” you answered, prompting her to smile softly whilst she nodded her head a little, before she leaned forward to delicately connect her lips to your’s, “see you tomorrow, my beloved Miss O’Shea.”

“See you tomorrow, my beloved Y/n L/n,” she returned, before begrudgingly getting up after she’d pressed an even gentler kiss to your forehead, and dragging herself out of the stable to greet Dutch and Arthur, as well as Micah who they had sadly returned with, whilst you curled up upon the blanket, and would stare ahead of you at one of the empty stable stalls, trying your best to fight back the tears that were currently clouding your vision whilst you tried to stay calm by filling your mind with thoughts of her, and the future you wished you could have with her.

🜸🜚🜸

The next day was unbearable; seeing Molly and Dutch together was unbearable - you couldn’t stand it; couldn’t stand him, and the possibility of you still losing her after all you’d both done together, before this moment in time. You were stood uncomfortably leaning against the stable door whilst you watched them talking to Arthur, before he walked off to join Javier on his quest to locate, save, and return John to camp, leaving them together as he turned to face her, and she would then wrap her arms around him whilst he returned the embrace, prompting your heart to sink a little whilst your eyes would even darken.

“She doesn’t love you,” you uttered down at the ground, subconsciously kicking at the snow with your right foot whilst you tried to remind yourself of your and her secret meeting yesterday.

“Miss L/n!” Susan Grimshaw called, and you would grunt, before begrudgingly turning to face her whilst she stormed up to you, ready to scold you for the lack of work you were doing for the camp.

“Yes, Miss Grimshaw?” You replied, as if you didn’t know what the purpose of her interruption was, when you’d been scolded by her before whilst the gang were residing within their camp back in Blackwater before the failed robbery there had taken place, driving you as well as them up here.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you doing any work-”

“Is surveying not work?” You interjected, and Susan would appear taken aback by your interruption. “I’m keeping us safe by watching over the camp-”

“You’re doing nothing for us,” she contradicted, “now I suggest you start doing something, or I’ll start readying my gun to give us all one less mouth to feed, because that’s what I do to the people I don’t trust here, got that?”

“Loud and clear,” you responded begrudgingly, and wondered why you could feel someone watching you, but you wouldn’t dare look up at where you’d last been watching Molly and Dutch together, “I’ll go out hunting, or something-”

“No need for that,” another voice interrupted, and you couldn’t help, but scowl subconsciously down at your feet upon recognising the voice to belong to Dutch Van Der Linde, “don’t worry, Miss L/n, you can stay here; Miss O’Shea’s kindly told me about all you went through with the Skinner Brother gang before we found you, and I want you to take it easy with Mrs Adler, okay?”

“Sure,” you murmured, whilst you wondered what Molly was doing; you couldn’t sense that she was nearby like you usually could whenever she was close to you, but you could still feel that someone was watching you, flustering you a little, but at the same time you couldn’t help, but feel safe within the gaze of your surveyor, suggesting to you that Molly was still where she was, before; still watching you longingly, and wishing she could be more open with you, somehow, despite being with Dutch, and being a woman like yourself, “thanks.”

“No problem,” he returned, before returning his attention to Susan, “now, Miss Grimshaw - walk and talk with me for a little while whilst Arthur and Javier are out looking for John.”

Dutch then began to guide her away whilst you began to feel empty, cold, and alone again, and of course you could hear - before they’d turned a corner, Miss Grimshaw complaining about you, but you were used to how it felt to be hated by now, as everyone before you’d met Molly had made you feel like shit, starting with your parents who had abandoned you for a reason unbeknownst you - you assumed maybe they just didn’t want you; maybe you weren’t good enough for them, when - little did you know - they’d let you go to protect you, knowing that in a few days time they’d probably be killed by a debt collector as a result of not being able to make enough money to repay their loan in the form of a successful harvest, and they didn’t want you to suffer alongside them for their actions, so they left you to begin a new life for yourself, instead of having your’s taken away alongside their own.

“I see the snow storm’s still going strong.” You would falter upon hearing Molly’s voice, before glancing up at her without hesitation, your eyes glinting a little after your tears had been shocked out of your eyes in response to her sudden appearance a few paces away from you; she’d never cease to amaze you somehow.

“Too much for us to keep on moving, right?” You guessed, and she would smile sadly, before nodding gravely whilst she bowed her head a little, finding herself nervous to make eye contact with you after she’d told Dutch about what had happened to you not too long ago now, regarding how the Skinner Brothers - a notorious gang residing back in Blackwater - had one day captured you, and abused you until Molly had managed to find you alongside Arthur Morgan who had ended up introducing her to Dutch and the rest of the gang, resulting in her deciding to become Dutch’s partner, as well as to join the gang to ensure extra safety for you as well as herself.

“With any luck, it’ll get better soon, right?” She replied, and you would nod timidly in agreement with her, before quickly wiping your eyes clear of any remaining tears, and smiling softly up at her whilst she nervously rubbed her right arm using her left hand, wishing things weren’t so awkward outside of your and her secret meet-ups; she hated that you both had to try and hide your feelings for one another in front of the others, but knew that there was nothing that could be done to change that now, if you both wanted to try and protect one another from being strung up with a noose around each of your necks for being two women in love with one another. “W-Well, I - I should go back inside, I guess-”

“N-No-!” You blurted out feebly, and she would stop in her tracks, a pained expression on her face whilst she glanced back at you, faltering when she noticed the fresh tear stains on your cheeks; she’d not noticed them, before, prompting her heart to sink whilst she wondered why you’d recently been crying, but before the question could slip from her lips, you would continue, your voice trembling a little whilst you did. “Mol, don’t - don’t go, please,” you begged, and she would frown whilst she began to feel guilty, wishing she could do more for you somehow to try and make you happy again; to try and stay with you for longer without causing any suspicion like she feared she might by staying here with you after she’d claimed before to certain members of the gang that Dutch was all the company she needed, just another of her attempts to try and avoid rousing suspicion regarding your and her true sexualities, as well as forbidden feelings for one another. “Just - Just stay for a little while longer,” you requested, “I - I miss talking to you the way we used to-”

“Y/n, you - you know we can’t,” she reminded you dejectedly, and you would fall quiet, a pained expression on your face, only making her feel worse as she hated seeing you upset like she could tell you currently were, “if the others see us-”

“We’re only talking, Molly,” you reminded her, “h-how is that - how is talking wrong? Mol, please-”

“Just wait until later, Y/n; I’m not risking you getting hurt, or even killed for being seen with me,” she insisted, but you would hastily shake your head, not hesitating to follow her closely as you couldn’t bear to be away from her like you had been for a little while, now, since she’d left the stable last night.

“What happened to us, Molly?” You questioned weakly, and she would appear taken aback by the question, before turning to face you sharply, prompting you to falter before you could bump into her, afraid of possibly hurting her by doing so; you’d never be able to forgive yourself if you ever let something like that happen somehow, so of course you stopped in your tracks as quickly as you had.

“Why? Do you seriously think there’s something wrong with the way we are, now? Y/n, I told you-”

“N-No, I know, I - I just-.. It’s nothing-.. I’m sorry, Mol, I - I should go and check on Murphy,” you decided, not wanting to burden her anymore than you could tell you already had, “I’ll - I’ll see you later, right?”

Molly then shook her head hastily, not wanting to leave things between you both there like that until you got to meet later; she couldn’t bear to think of how painful it would be waiting until nightfall, and constantly thinking about how you might be breaking down in the stable in secret whilst she tried to hold herself together as much as she possibly could around Dutch whenever he was with her, and she couldn’t go and see you no matter how much she always wanted to, so she vowed to try and fix things before you could both part again, warily looking around to make sure the others were still inside, and both Dutch and Susan still out of sight, before she began to rush after you before you could disappear back into the stable.

“Y/n, wait-!” She called, and you would falter, before timidly turning to face her, and smiling softly to show her that you were listening, prompting her to smile shyly back at you whilst her heart raced alongside your’s again blissfully. “J-Just take my hand, and let me promise you something, before you go back inside,” she requested, and you would appear surprised, as well as elated whilst you couldn’t help, but beam over at her, before you - without hesitation - allowed the fingers of your right hand to intertwine with the fingers of her left one in the best way possible whilst you admired one another for a moment, until she had managed to recover herself after she’d found herself so easily forgetting how to breathe, being so close to you like she currently was, an effect you’d both always seemed to had on her ever since you were shorter than you were, now.

“You make me too many promises,” you mused, and she would scoff, before shaking her head, and smiling lovingly over at you whilst she wished she could hold you close to her, and connect her forehead to your’s; she hated having gaps like this between you both, but she knew that - in a more open area like the one you were both currently in together, you could easily get caught, and harassed, and she couldn’t let that happen to you, knowing she’d never be able to forgive herself if she did, and she feared what might happen if she ended up losing you somehow, knowing that she most likely wouldn’t be able to go on living in the pain she didn’t doubt she’d be in.

Even just the thought of losing you was enough to prompt her heart to begin aching excruciatingly, but she would try and hide it from you to the best of her ability as she hated upsetting you like she knew she would if you saw that she was upset.

“What are you talking about? I don’t make ya nearly enough promises; you deserve a lot more-”

“Then you deserve double what you think I’m supposed to have,” you stated, surprising her as she made to protest, but before she could you both would falter upon hearing voices approaching - Dutch and Susan must be on their way around the area again, though you couldn’t imagine why they’d be having a conversation so long, especially when you thought it may be about how much you were sure Miss Grimshaw must hate you ever since Molly had brought you to their camp back in Blackwater. “Mol-”

“I love you,” she concluded gently, before leaning forward to kiss your right cheek, prompting your heart to skip a beat, “and I always will, I promise.”

“I - I love you, too,” you returned, and she couldn’t help, but beam over at you whilst she began to feel warm and fuzzy inside alongside you, “a-and I always will, n-no matter what - you’re my everything, Miss O’Shea.”

“I’m glad,” she replied in a voice close to a whisper, before she begrudgingly let go of your hand, and would smile sadly over at you whilst she waved, before beginning to drag herself back toward the main shack in which she, Dutch, Arthur, and Hosea were currently staying, before you both could be caught together, and suspected, harassed, or even reported, and hung, like she didn’t doubt you could be though neither of you knew how the others might react to your and her true sexualities, but you guessed you’d never find out, with her officially being Dutch’s partner, and not your’s.

Once she’d disappeared from sight, you began to feel empty again, prompting your heart to sink whilst you wondered why your now empty hand was stinging a little; it missed her’s excruciatingly, prompting you to sigh heavily, before you dragged yourself back into the stable, and tended to Murphy to distract yourself whilst you awaited nightfall; your and her next secret meeting, with a hopeful as well as heavy heart - all you wanted was to be free with her, but it seemed as if you’d both never be able to be free together, now, no matter how much you longed to be.

|

However, it soon got to be so late to the point that you decided she probably wasn’t coming, prompting your heart to sink a little, but you couldn’t blame her; you probably wouldn’t turn up either if you were in her position, meeting up with the nobody you believed to be yourself.

“She isn’t gonna come this late, Mur,” you murmured, before entering her stall, and carefully repositioning her reins to begin leading her toward the stable door. Once you’d got her outside, and closed the door, you would carefully climb up onto her saddle, and pat her neck gently using your right hand. “Take me back to Old Trail Rise, girl,” you continued half-heartedly, “it’s a bit of a trek, but-.. it’ll be worth it seeing it again - besides, I’m - I’m a little homesick, and-.. Molly’s probably caught up with Dutch, right?” Murphy then whinnied, before stamping her front right hoof impatiently as she wanted to get on the journey, or go back inside, prompting you to smile feebly; she always knew how to cheer you up when you felt low, like you did, now, wondering when, or even if things would go back to normal for you and Molly, but you doubted it would ever happen now, no matter how much you wished it would, after all you and her had already been through together. “That’s my girl,” you concluded, before you eased her into a steady gallop, and would brandish one of your shotguns just in case any wolves decided to try and make you their early morning snack.

On your way out of the camp, you failed to notice Molly looking out of the window in secret whilst Dutch was telling her about his most recent plan; she’d tried to drug him, and failed miserably, and upon noticing you she would falter, a pained expression on her face whilst she subconsciously shook her head a little, and wondered anxiously where you might be going so late, especially down the mountain where wolves would most likely try and hunt you, whilst it pained her heart to think that you were upset by her not showing up when she usually tended to before.

“Excuse me, Dutch,” she mustered a little shakily, before rushing out of the room, and Dutch would shrug, before diverting his attention onto his pipe, as well as one of the books he liked to read. As she was the only one without a horse, she knew she’d have to try and find someone else to help her get you back for fear of you getting hurt if she didn’t do so, and fast. Upon noticing that Arthur was still not within the building, though she’d heard he and Javier returning with John, she would rush outside, and desperately look around for him, or one of the others who might be willing to go out looking for you with her, as she was getting a bad feeling already - something must already be wrong, or would soon go wrong. “S-Someone, anyone - I need your help-”

“What’s goin’ on, Miss O’Shea?” She would express relief upon hearing Arthur’s voice, before looking toward him; he’d just come out of the larger building housing the other gang members, as well as John, now that he had been brought back after being attacked by wolves.

“A-Arthur, oh thank god,” she responded, “it - it’s Y/n.” Arthur would raise his eyebrows, before tilting his head partially whilst he wondered why she would be asking for his help, rather than Dutch’s, as she seemed to be warily looking back toward the shack she’d recently rushed out of, as if he didn’t know about her worries regarding your safety. “She’s in trouble, o-or soon will be if we don’t go out and get her-”

“We-?” He interjected, but Molly wouldn’t respond, rushing him over to his Amber Champagne Missouri Fox Trotter before he could protest, or even open his mouth to reply to her; she was desperate to find you, and make sure that you were okay, before she could lose you somehow, though she didn’t know yet that you were in trouble, but the bad feeling within her chest and stomach told her that if she and Arthur didn’t locate you soon, she would never see you again, and she was right.

🜸

It had happened so fast. Murphy had reared up in response to the close howling of a pack of wolves, and as you were in shock your grip on her reins managed to loosen just enough for you to fall off of her, and have your back hit the snow, leaving you feeling faint and numb whilst the wolves began to surround you after she had bolted. Whilst you lay there, you found yourself beginning to feel lost, and as if you no longer knew who you were, until you remembered Molly, and couldn’t help, but smile softly in response to the thought of her; you couldn’t give in, not yet, so of course you reached for your gun - you couldn’t be taken down without a fight if you wanted to see her again, so of course - for her, as well as Murphy - you had to try.

🜸

“I still think we should tell Dutch about this-”

“I don’t,” she replied without hesitation, whilst trying not to appear nervous or guilty in front of him, though he was already growing suspicious of your and her relationship, like he had been finding himself doing for a little while now, even before you and them had to flee up the Grizzly Mountains to reach Colter, and efficiently avoid the law as well as bounty hunters back in Blackwater after the failed robbery had taken place. “It’s nothing he needs to know about; there’s things he doesn’t tell me - he’s never told me anything about what happened back in Blackwater, so why should I tell him about this?” She inquired, and Arthur would wince, before nodding gravely; she had made a good point. “Look - w-will ya just-”

She would then fall quiet upon hearing someone crying out in agony, and they sounded very much like you, prompting her heart to sink, before it began to pound overwhelmingly whilst Arthur would sigh heavily, guessing he’d have to soon brawl with another pack of wolves despite already doing so to save, and bring John back to the new camp.

“I guess that means the wolves are out again-”

“Go!” She cried, desperate to get to you before the wolves could take you away from her, prompting Arthur to grunt, before he pressed his horse to carefully trot on closer to the point that they could hear you firing your gun, prompting Molly to express relief - at least you had something to defend yourself whilst they were on their way to save you.

“I’m gonna have to get off here, alright? You stay on the horse-”

“But-”

“No buts, Miss O’Shea,” he interjected hastily, knowing that he needed to work fast if they wanted you to come out of this alive, “just stay here, and I’ll call you when I’ve dealt with what she hasn’t shot yet.”

Molly would hesitate, before nodding gravely, though she’d rather help him save you as she couldn’t bear to stay whilst she anxiously listened to the new gunshots sounding out, wondering excruciatingly if she’d ever see you again following this moment in time, until Arthur had finally called for her to come down, and her gaze had finally fallen upon you again, despite the current bloody state that you were in.

🜸

As soon as you noticed Molly with your right eye that hadn’t been scratched, you couldn’t help, but smile softly, until you remembered the state your face must be in after one of the wolves had managed to achieve a strike at you, and would wince, hastily bowing your head a little though she’d already seen what had been done to you, prompting her heart to sink a little, and her eyes to darken slightly; she wished she’d got to you sooner, before the wolves could hurt you like she could see they had.

“M-Miss O’Shea,” you managed, and upon hearing your voice she would be dragged out of her thoughts, her heart skipping a beat, before she rushed up to you, and crouched down beside you, “t-this is a - a pleasant-” Before you could even finish your sentence, her arms were around you, prompting you to falter, before you subconsciously melted into her embrace, and wouldn’t hesitate to return it, beginning to feel guilty for making to leave the way you had, only to have her see you in a state like this, prompting your heart to sink whilst you drew in a shaky breath, before resting your head upon her right shoulder whilst your heart ached alongside her own excruciatingly.

“I’ll go and find your horse, Miss L/n; y’all look like you need some time alone,” he stated, and Molly would then appear fearful whilst she looked back at him, and he would shake his head to try and reassure her; he knew that it was hard for people in your and her position, and didn’t want to get involved to a point that might mean you both would end up suffering for something that shouldn’t qualify as being punishable, “don’t worry - this ain’t my business, anyway - I’ll be right back.”

He then rushed off to try and find Murphy before she could get any further down the mountain, and once he had gone, Molly would carefully connect her forehead to your’s whilst she tried not to break down alongside you, lifting her right hand up to your left cheek so she could gently cover the scar the wolf had recently given you in an attempt to stop it from bleeding anymore than it already was now into her palm.

“Y-Y/n, I - I’m so-”

“Don’t apologise,” you interjected gently; you could tell that this was what she was about to do, and didn’t want her to feel as if she had to, and she would falter, a pained expression on her face whilst she gravely shook her head, “I - I’m the idiot who decided to come out here in the first place, right? This ain’t in any way your fault, Mol-”

“It is my fault, Y/n,” she contradicted, wishing you’d stop lying to her though you’d never believe otherwise; you decided to go down the mountain, and therefore allowed the wolves to get to you, “if I’d come out to the stable to tell you that Dutch was still awake, you’d-”

“You know me, Miss O’Shea,” you remarked a little more playfully; you hated seeing her upset, and wished now that you’d tried to stay, or had at least been more careful to try and hide yourself from her view before you had begun to make your way down the mountain, “even if you had, I still would have done it - you know that, right?”

She would nod gravely again, knowing that you most likely would as you’d often tended to be quite reckless like that even before the Skinner Brothers had captured, and abused you for a little while.

“You’re right,” she agreed, “I do know you, and I know when I’ve hurt you, too-”

“You’ve never hurt me,” you contradicted, “it’s like I said before - I was an idiot, l-like I usually am, who decided it would be a good idea to try and travel back down the mountain alone, and that’s all there is to it, I promise.”

“So I didn’t hurt you-? By - By not showing up earlier?” She inquired, and you would shake your head, before smiling reassuringly up at her for a moment, until you felt as if you should lower your head again, though her right hand was currently still concealing your new scar.

“I probably look like a mess right now, don’t I? O-Or, at least, even more of one-”

“You could never look like a mess, Y/n,” she contradicted, not wanting you to think that way about yourself as she wanted you to feel valued, like she believed you deserved to be, and wished you could see yourself the way that she saw you: you would always be perfect in her eyes, no matter what, or how many scars anything might give you in the future, like this new one you’d been gifted so kindly by one of the wolves that had ambushed you and Murphy, “hey - look at me; you don’t have to hide anything from me - you know that, right?”

“Of course I know that,” you reassured her, and she would express relief, glad, before she smiled warmly over at you, and would then carefully move her right hand away as she’d not felt anymore blood escaping from the scratch in a little while, “I just - can’t believe you still want me e-even after-.. after the wolves; t-this scratch is probably gonna make for a bad scar-”

“As if I’d never fall in love with a beautifully scarred woman,” she remarked, “come here, you.” She then wrapped her arms around you again, before she delicately connected her lips to your own, and you would then instantly melt into the kiss whilst you smiled softly against her lips, and would subconsciously return the embrace again.

“I - I missed you,” you mustered in a voice close to a whisper, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she smirked over at you, prompting blood to begin rushing to your cheeks, suggesting to her that she’d already managed to fluster you so unbelievably easily, an effect she’d always seemed to have on you ever since you were both shorter than you are, now.

“I missed you, too,” she returned, whilst you both admired one another for a moment, and you couldn’t help, but forget to breathe whilst your gaze locked with her’s again after it had briefly drifted down to her lips again, “but don’t worry - I’m gonna make it up to ya, I promise; Dutch said he’s gonna be going out with Micah, Bill, and Arthur tomorrow to find the O’Driscolls - apparently there are still some around here somewhere, so we’ll be able to spend more time together whilst he’s out with them - How does that sound?”

“Like music to my ears,” you answered seductively, and she would grin again, before initiating a slightly deeper, but still gentle kiss, and you wouldn’t hesitate to melt into it again whilst you found yourself wondering why she’d decided to come out looking for you; you’d never had anyone care for you as much as she always had, and you still found you weren’t used to it, but loved how it felt to be valued nonetheless whilst you hoped you were making her feel the same way as showering her with your love for her had been all that you’d ever wanted to do, and still was; undoubtedly always would be, no matter what the future might have in store for you both. “E-Everything you tell me is like that,” you added once the kiss had sadly ended, “I - I know I told you this earlier, but - I love you, Molly O’Shea.”

She couldn’t help, but smile warmly over at you whilst her eyes began to glint in the best way possible, prompting your heart to skip a beat - how could one person be so amazing in everything she does, says, and is?

“I - I love you, too, Y/n L/n,” she expressed, her voice briefly trembling, before she buried her face into the crook of your neck whilst you tried to provide comfort to her by gently stroking her hair using your right hand, even finding tears beginning to cloud your own vision, alongside her’s; you never thought something could feel so perfect before, like this moment did, until you both could hear that footsteps, as well as hooves, were approaching nearby, prompting your heart, as well as her own, to sink; you both hated being away from one another, but if you wanted to protect each other you knew you’d have to pull away from one another, and that was what you - begrudgingly, as well as gravely - did, just in time for Arthur to appear leading Murphy toward you both.

“I finally caught her for you, Miss L/n,” he began, and you would manage a weak smile of thanks over at him, before nodding your head, and pushing yourself to sit up a little more, “she almost got all the way down there, but - she ain’t quick enough to escape the likes of me, you see.”

“You wish she weren’t,” you contradicted, and Arthur would scoff, before shaking his head, “thanks, anyway; I’d never have been able to get her back if you didn’t go after her, so-..”

“Don’t mention it,” he replied, “anyway - we best get back, before Dutch starts to worry - right, Miss O’Shea?”

Molly would then falter, before nodding gravely whilst she subconsciously grimaced down at the ground, whilst you would tense up a little, your heart easily beginning to ache a little again, but you would try and - in an attempt to try and hide that the reminder of their relationship was painful - remind yourself of what she’d recently told you about how you both would be able to spend more time together tomorrow whilst he was out with Micah, Arthur, and Bill, finally.

“You’re right, we - we should,” she agreed dejectedly, before smiling sadly over at you, and you would try your best to reflect her smile, but she could see through it, and it was excruciating to see that you were in pain again, despite your and her previously shared moment, “come on, you - you need some rest after the wolves got to ya, and we’ll talk in the morning, I promise.”

She would then carefully help you off of the ground, before leading you over slowly to Murphy, and then climbing up onto the saddle after she’d made sure that you were stable behind her whilst she guided your arms around her waist, and couldn’t help, but smile softly upon feeling you resting your head upon her left shoulder.

“I can’t wait,” you managed, your voice barely audible, only prompting her smile to grow a little more subconsciously.

“You ready, or-?” She inquired, not wanting to begin moving Murphy until she knew that you were okay with her doing so, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable, or to put you through anymore pain than you had already been through today.

“I was born ready, a-as long as you’re by my side, Mol,” you answered truthfully, and she would appear surprised, as well as flattered, before she eased Murphy into a steady canter to catch up with Arthur on his Amber Champagne Missouri Fox Trotter, and would secretly hold your left hand within her own, prompting you to smile subconsciously again whilst you began to feel warm and fuzzy as if you’d not been in pain a brief moment ago now that you both were making blissful physical contact again.

“I’m glad,” she replied, before gently squeezing your hand, and revelling in the moment alongside you whilst she wondered what tomorrow might have in store for you both, even dreaming about it, until the morning finally came, and she could be reunited with you again.

🜸🜚🜸

As soon as Dutch had gone out with Micah, Arthur, and Bill to locate the near O’Driscolls, Molly would hastily walk over to the stable to try and avoid being noticed, and therefore suspected by anyone of doing something questionable that might prompt someone to follow her, knowing that it might not end well for either of you if she did. As soon as she’d reached the stable doors, she would falter upon hearing that Murphy was distressed, whinnying and neighing as if something was wrong, prompting her to appear fearful whilst she began to think that maybe something had happened to you, resulting in her heart feeling as if it were dropping, before she rushed inside.

Once she’d opened the door, she could hear that you were crying quietly and whimpering, whilst you appeared to still be asleep; you must have been having a nightmare for a little while, now, and Murphy was worried about you, sensing your distress. She then hastily closed it, before rushing up to you, and crouching down beside you to delicately cradle your trembling body close to her in an attempt to try and provide comfort to you whilst you cried into her left shoulder, and struggled a little within her embrace, not fully conscious though you’d begun to stir once she’d wrapped her arms around you.

“L-Let her go, please!” You cried feebly, your voice weak, and barely audible, and she would frown, a pained expression on her face whilst she began to wonder if your nightmare was about her, somehow. “I need her-!” You pleaded, desperate to save her as if you were still stuck within the nightmare, afraid that maybe the Skinner Brothers truly had got to her the way that they had managed to capture you before.

“Hey, it - it’s okay, Y/n,” she cooed gently whilst she used her right hand to stroke your hair, prompting you to jump a little, evidently startled, and still in shock after the nightmare had taken place, “I’m - I’m here, now-”

You then would glance up at her whilst tears streamed down your cheeks, some even escaping from your wounded left eye, before your right eye widened a little, and you would shake your head hastily, before sitting up, and holding her at arm’s length as if you still weren’t fully conscious yet; still believed yourself to be in the same situation that you were before with her being threatened by a few members of the Skinner Brother gang whilst you were being held back, and helplessly made to watch whilst she had been crying for you to help her, though she’d successfully woken you up a brief moment ago.

“You - You can’t be here, Mol, they - they’re gonna hurt you, they - they-” You then couldn’t help, but break down, unable to fight back your emotions anymore whilst a strained sob escaped your lips, before you buried your face into the crook of her neck, and sobbed uncontrollably into it whilst you clung to her as if your life depended on her being there with you.

Molly then wrapped her arms around you again whilst she found herself trying to fight back tears alongside you; she hated seeing you like this, and wished she could do more for you, somehow; wished she could rid you of the trauma that you were facing as a result of how the Skinner Brothers had abused you, before she and Arthur had managed to locate, and save you from them.

“They can’t do anything to us, here, I promise,” she cooed, “we’re safe, now, and you’re never gonna lose me, no matter what; I love you, Y/n L/n.”

A pained expression would then cross your face, before you bowed your head a little, prompting her to frown, and her heart to sink again whilst she wondered why you seemed so down all of a sudden.

“You shouldn’t,” you murmured dejectedly, “Molly, I-.. people say I’m heartless; I heard Susan say it yesterday, too, a-and I’m starting to think they’re right; t-the Skinner Brothers, they - they were holding me, and I couldn’t move; couldn’t - couldn’t get to you-”

“Heartless?” Molly scoffed, before shaking her head, and lifting her left hand up to your right cheek to avoid hurting you by touching the bandages you now had covering the scratch one of the wolves had given you yesterday; Arthur had insisted he patch you up before Dutch could get involved within the situation to protect you both, no matter how much Molly insisted that she help alongside him, wanting to make sure that you were okay, and that your wound doesn’t end up getting infected somehow. “Y/n, you - you’re far from being heartless; your heart’s a lot bigger than you think it is,” she contradicted, “hey - don’t - don’t listen to what Miss Grimshaw says right now; she’s just - not used to you being here with us, yet, but she’ll warm up to you, I promise, I know she will. I mean - I warmed up to ya the day I first met ya, remember? And even if you were heartless, which is something you never will be, I will always love ya, Y/n, always, no matter what the future holds in store for us.”

You would appear surprised, before glancing up at her whilst more tears managed to escape your eyes whilst you wondered again what you’d done to deserve someone as perfect as her, sniffling quietly whilst you locked eyes with her in the best way possible, and tried to swallow the lump forming in your throat.

“I - I will always love you, too, Molly O’Shea,” you mustered up shakily, before you leaned forward to delicately connect your lips to her own, prompting her to instantly melt into the kiss whilst she smiled softly against your lips, and revelled in how her tears must be mixing with your own as some of her’s had managed to escape though she’d been trying to stay strong for you, not wanting to upset you any further than you already were.

“Hey, a-as long as you’re up for it, would - would you maybe wanna-?” She suggested timidly, and you would smirk upon noticing that she’d begun to blush. “I just-.. you know,” she continued, her voice close to a whisper, and you couldn’t help, but grin sheepishly over at her, before you inched even closer to her to flusher her even more, your lips now dangerously close to brushing against her’s again.

“I’ll think about it,” you stated, after you’d teased her by briefly brushing your lips against her own, as if you were about to accept her suggestion, before you got up off of the ground, and she would sport a dazed expression on her face, pouting over at you, and of course you couldn’t resist her puppy eyes, immediately giving in without any struggle as you giggled softly, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before you crouched down in front of her again. “You know I can’t resist you, Mol - of course I’m up for playing with you; I - I’m up for anything as long as it’s with you, Miss O’Shea,” you admitted, before you leaned forward to kiss her again, elating her as she wrapped her arms around your waist to stabilise you once the kiss began to deepen, before she carefully eased you down onto the sheet you’d been sleeping on ever since you, her, and the others had finally arrived here, and though you both hoped that it could always be blissful like this between you, you knew that you’d never be able to hide the pain that you felt whenever you saw her and Dutch together, and this was why you both ended up fighting again during the early hours of the morning, before she’d stormed out of the stable, and you began to feel empty again.

🜸🜚🜸

You seemed to cry endlessly that night, to the point that you were surprised as you never thought you’d had so many tears within you before; never thought you could cry as much as you had, leaving your eyes more sore than they had ever been. You couldn’t believe you’d let your jealousy take over you the way it had, and you hated yourself for it, especially whenever you remembered the hurt look on Molly’s face after you’d told her to just go and stay with Dutch, even going so far as to claim that you’d never loved her, anyway, in your moment of disorientation and pain, prompting her to scowl, before she slapped you, returned your remark, and then stormed out of the stable whilst you appeared crestfallen, though you knew you deserved what she’d said and done after you’d started the fight.

You didn’t dare even open your mouth to speak to anyone the next day, though some of the other women within the gang seemed more worried about you than usual; you didn’t doubt that they’d been talking about you, and even Susan seemed to be laying off of you - could you really be looking so miserable? Though you’d been trying hard to hide it through feeble, forced, and the faintest smiles you had ever been able to muster up before. It was harder than usual to muster up the two words ‘I’m fine’ whenever someone greeted you, and decided they should check up on you, and you couldn’t believe you’d not broken down yet, until you noticed Molly and Dutch together again, prompting you to feel numb, and your heart to ache excruciatingly. You even had to fight back a strained sob, hastily lowering your gaze to avoid eye contact with either of them, especially Molly; you knew you’d break down then and there if your gaze locked with her’s, but then again you found you couldn’t help, but glance up at her upon hearing her voice, prompting your heart to skip a beat beneath the pain it was currently putting you through, and had put you through the whole of the rest of the early hours of the morning the previous night.

“We’re gonna be hitting the train the O’Driscolls were targeting tomorrow,” Dutch informed, and Molly would force a disappointed expression onto her face, prompting you to frown upon noticing it, before you shuffled uncomfortably in place, “don’t worry, my lady, we won’t be out for too long, I promise.”

“You better not be,” she corroborated, “otherwise I’ll be lonely, without ya - I love you, Dutch, and you promised me we’d spend more time together, remember that?”

“I did, didn’t I?” He replied, before grinning over at her, and wrapping his arms around her waist whilst you watched longingly, appearing crestfallen again; you never thought anything could be so painful, before, but here you were, feeling as if you’d lost everything within you; as if everything you had left was collapsing around you, leaving you with nothing, but your now broken heart as a result of you feeling as if you’d now truly lost her following the events of the previous night. “Well, as soon as we get more money, and get away from here, we’ll be able to spend more time together, I promise,” he claimed, and Molly would force a smile over at him, before she leaned forward to kiss him, prompting you to falter, before you allowed your gaze to drop instantly alongside what remained of your shattered heart, “now - I’ve gotta talk to Micah about something, but I’ll be back soon, alright?” He then let go of her, before hastily walking off to go and discuss his plans with Micah, whilst Molly would briefly look over at you, just in time to meet your gaze for a moment, and you would silently beg her to give you another chance, scared of what your life might be like if she weren’t in it, by your side, and though she hesitated, a pained expression on her face, it wasn’t long before she dragged herself away, and disappeared back into the large shack she was staying in with Dutch, Arthur, and Hosea, prompting the last remaining hopes you had been holding to leave you instantly, alongside a couple more tears that had managed to escape your eyes, stinging your left eye that had been wounded the day before, but the tear didn’t cause you as much pain as your heart was, and had been ever since the fight had occurred.

You, then - feeling heavier than you ever had before - would shake your head gravely, before you bowed it for a moment to try and hide that you were starting to cry again, and would hastily disappear back into the stable to retrieve Murphy; you didn’t feel there was anymore point you going on without Molly, so you planned to do the world a favour, as well as her and Murphy, by trying to put a stop to your entire existence.

🜚

Once Arthur had arrived back with Charles from hunting for Pearson, and had skinned the deer he had managed to catch alongside his companion, he would be surprised to be approached by Mary-Beth as soon as he’d left Pearson to the stew he was preparing for the group.

“H-Hey, Arthur, could you do me and Tilly a favour?” She requested, and Arthur would try not to appear disgruntled by this request, being tired after he’d gone out hunting and only returned a brief moment ago.

“Sure,” he answered begrudgingly, before forcing a smile to avoid making her feel bad for asking anything of him after what he’d already done today, “what do you need?”

“Well - it’s Y/n,” she answered, and Arthur would raise his eyebrows, before grunting, and looking away from her; he couldn’t believe he had to help you again after you’d already got attacked by wolves the day before.

“It’s always Y/n,” he remarked, and Mary-Beth would wince upon remembering that he’d had to help you yesterday after being woken up by him returning you and Molly to camp, before he began to bandage up part of your face, covering the deep scratch you’d received from one of the wolves that had ambushed you. She would nod gravely, before smiling apologetically over at him whilst he sighed heavily, and would recompose himself, before deciding to give in; if you or one of the others needed help - if they weren’t Micah - he was (still begrudgingly at times) happy to oblige, therefore today wasn’t any different, so of course he decided he’d help Mary-Beth and Tilly with whatever it was regarding you, despite his helping you the day before. “Go on; what’s gone wrong with her now?” He inquired, and Mary-Beth would appear relieved; she’d been worried for a moment that maybe Arthur would refuse to help her find you for fear of what you planned to do after the way she’d noticed that you had been acting today, before you’d rode off with Murphy again back down the mountain, despite you previously being ambushed down there by the wolves yesterday.

“We’re worried about her - you see, she ain’t been right all day,” she explained, and Arthur would scoff.

“Sometimes it seems like she ain’t ever right,” he commented, “I mean - why the hell would she ride off the way she did yesterday after John was attacked by wolves nearby, too?”

“I - I ain’t sure, but-.. if you could go out looking for her - I think I saw her ridin’ out on Murphy again the same way she went last time - we’d be extremely grateful, of course; we just wanna know that she’s okay,” she continued, and Arthur would hum gravely in response to her request, before nodding, and trying not to sigh again; he couldn’t believe all that he was having to do for you recently, including not telling Dutch about his suspicions regarding you and Molly’s close relationship.

“In that case, I’ll try my best to find her for you,” he decided, and Mary-Beth would smile her thanks back at him, glad, before she nodded, and made to share the news with Tilly.

“Thanks, Arthur,” she replied, and he would nod, before lifting his left hand up a little briefly in response to her, “oh, and - we ain’t sure why, but - Molly also seems to be acting strange, too, but - we’re gonna talk to her, so don’t worry about that; just letting you know.”

“Sure, Mary-Beth,” he responded, and she would nod again, before smiling faintly, and then disappearing back into the blackboard shack; the largest compared to the others housing the rest of the gang excluding Micah, Bill, and Lenny. Arthur would then grunt again, before shaking his head, allowing his displeasure regarding the situation to show now that Mary-Beth couldn’t see his true feelings regarding his unexpected new task, but he’d accepted her request, and knew now that he had to fulfil it somehow, so he would push himself to walk toward his Amber Champagne Missouri Fox-Trotter, before he climbed up onto her saddle, and would pat her neck using his right hand, before easing her into a steady canter toward the slope you’d gone down with Murphy.

🜸

Once you felt you’d got far enough down the mountain, you would dismount Murphy, prompting her to snort, and impatiently stamp her front right hoof whilst she wondered why you both had stopped moving so soon.

“Sorry, girl,” you mustered up feebly, a pained expression on your face whilst tears began to cloud your vision, “I-.. I just-.. without Molly-.. you understand, right?” You then wrapped your arms around her neck, whilst you sniffled quietly, and would try and fight back a strained sob whilst you found yourself on the verge of breaking down again. “I’m so sorry,” you whispered shakily, “I love you so much; w-we’ve been through hell together, haven’t we? I’ve put you through so much - so much crap that-.. that it’s unreal, haven’t I?” Murphy then whinnied, before she began to nuzzle at your hair again. “It wouldn’t be right for me to put you through more, ‘s-specially when - when I’m hollow inside, right?” You then made to take off Murphy’s saddle, and bridle, before you dropped them onto the ground, and would take a step back, further confusing your friend, who anxiously shuffled on the spot, and snorted again whilst she distractedly dug at the snow with her right hoof. “Maybe we’ll see each other again in another lifetime, but-.. I don’t wanna restrict you, o-or risk you getting hurt anymore, so-”

“What the hell are you doin’, Y/n?” You would wince upon hearing Arthur’s voice, before gently slapping Murphy’s behind to try and get her to flee, even crying ‘go’, but he would then manage to catch her with his lasso before she could run off, and you could lose her.

“No-!” You cried, a pained expression on your face, before you took out your Volcanic Pistol, and aimed it up at Arthur, surprising him as he shook his head hastily, and raised his free left hand in surrender to try and get you to calm down.

“Alright, take it easy,” he replied cautiously, “put the gun down-”

“N-Not until you let her go,” you interjected hastily, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and he would sigh heavily again, before nodding slowly, and attaching the end of his lasso to his horse’s saddle so he could dismount his Missouri Fox Trotter, and then act as if he would release her whilst she appeared spooked, and neighed despairingly as well as in an agitated manner in response to the situation at hand.

“The things I’ve gotta do for crazy people like you,” he uttered, and you would grimace, before clicking the safety off of your gun, prompting him to wince, but he would manage to remain appearing unperturbed by the situation, despite how you could easily take his life in this moment if he made another wrong move. “Lettin’ her go now, alright?” He claimed, but before releasing Murphy from the lasso, he would secretly try and calm her down to get her to stay in place, allowing him to then hastily draw his own pistol from its sheath to shoot the gun out of your right hand, before he then caught you within the lasso, enabling him to hogtie you whilst you struggled desperately to escape, before even breaking down after your plan had evidently failed; you didn’t want to have to live with the pain of being away from Molly anymore, but now it seemed like you would have to, after he’d somehow managed to find you though he’d still been out with Charles by the time you’d decided to leave again, this time hoping that you’d finally be able to rid the others and Molly of the burden you believed your existence to be. “Jesus, you really ain’t right in the head today,” he remarked whilst crouching to your left side, and you would scoff, before shaking your head gravely, “what happened?”

“Nothing,” you uttered, “it’s - it’s none of your business; I - I ain’t ever been right in the head; there’s been no change.”

“I highly doubt that,” he replied, “anyway, you’re right, it ain’t my business, but - people are worried about you, Y/n. What were you gonna do, anyway? Why were you taking all of Murphy’s tack off, like you were gonna let her go completely, or somethin’?”

“I - I don’t need her anymore, and she doesn’t need me, anymore,” you uttered, “I was gonna-.. it’s not important, I just-.. Molly.”

“You weren’t gonna come back, were you?” He guessed, but you found you couldn’t even respond, or nod, feeling much too weak to do anything, and much too numb; the pain was overwhelming to the point that even the smallest movements seemed to pain you. “Mary-Beth told me Molly’s also been actin’ strange today,” he stated, and you would frown, before shaking your head gravely.

“She-.. She seemed happy, w-with Dutch, before I left,” you recalled whilst your shattered heart began to ache again, prompting him to tilt his head partially, “why - why would she-.. why would she care if I-?”

“Look, I don’t know what’s goin’ on between you two, but - whatever it is,” he began again gently, “y’all are gonna be just fine; you’ll work it out, I’m sure you will, come on - we gotta get you back, before you freeze, and Murphy bolts.” You would nod gravely, appearing crestfallen whilst you stared ahead of you, your vision clouding over with tears again; you couldn’t believe you’d failed again to rid Molly and the others of your burdening existence, but you were determined to keep trying, believing that they’d all be better off without you, especially Molly and Murphy. “Oh, and - before I forget,” he continued, before confiscating your guns to try and weaken the possibility of you trying to take your life, prompting you to grunt, “sorry, but I don’t think you can be trusted with your guns right now - anyway.” He then would cut you free, before he helped you up off of the ground, and you would lean heavily against the boulder whilst he put the tack back on Murphy. “C’mon, let’s go,” he encouraged, and you would begrudgingly nod gravely, before making to get back up onto Murphy, but he would direct you away from her before you could. “You ain’t ridin’ back on Murphy - not in a state like this,” he stated, and you would roll your eyes, before climbing up onto his Missouri Fox Trotter, “good.” He then climbed up onto the saddle, before whistling for Murphy to follow behind you both. “You ready?” He inquired, and you would force a nod again, before managing a faint smile, and then bowing your head again.

“Sure, I guess,” you answered, and he would nod in response, before easing his companion into a canter again, whilst you stared down at your hands, and cursed yourself for your failure the whole way, whilst you dreaded the pain you knew you were going to be in upon arriving back into the camp, but you knew you’d never be the same again anyway, not without Molly, so you guessed you’d just have to live with it, until you could finally take your life without intervention from Arthur, or one of the others, no matter how long it might take; you’d do anything to try and make Molly and Murphy happy, and if suicide was the only way, you’d do it for them without the slightest hesitation.

🜚

“Hey,” Arthur spoke up again once you’d both arrived back at camp, and you would hesitantly stop walking, and look back at him after you’d dismounted his Missouri Fox Trotter, “take it easy, alright? You’ve been through a lot recently - I’ll go and tell Molly and the others that you’re okay-”

“Wait-!” You cried feebly, your voice close to a whisper, and he would halt his horse before it could continue any further, nodding to show that he was listening to you, and you would then appear dejected for a moment, feeling guilty, though you doubted Molly could be worried about you after you’d disappeared. “Don’t-.. Don’t tell Molly; I-.. I’m scared of-.. of what she might think,” you admitted timidly, and Arthur would nod gravely, before smiling sympathetically over at you, though he knew he should tell her for both your and her sakes, and therefore intended to do so try and protect you both somehow, to avoid either of you trying to take your lives again to the best of his ability.

“Sure - just rest up, okay?” He replied, and you would nod your thanks, before mustering up the two words, and then leading Murphy into the stable, whilst he would then hitch up his horse, before making toward the main shack that he assumed Molly was still currently within, but he would be surprised to walk into her and Dutch’s room to find her crying whilst Mary-Beth and Tilly were trying to provide comfort to her. He would then awkwardly clear his throat, before stepping a little further into the room. “Ladies,” he began, “Miss O’Shea - you alright?”

“O-Of course I am,” she claimed whilst she tried to recompose herself, hastily wiping her eyes, before she allowed herself to look up at him, but he could see that she’d been upset for a while, now, and had previously heard that she was crying in a strained manner as if she was trying not to break down completely in front of the others for fear of what they might think; how they might suspect you and her as a result of her change in demeanour following your and her fight, whilst you, too, were appearing to be in pain despite trying not to show that you were, “why - why wouldn’t I be?”

“You ain’t okay,” he contradicted, and she would groan, before bowing her head, a pained expression on her face whilst she anxiously fidgeted with her hands, and he would then return his attention to Tilly and Mary-Beth who were rubbing Molly’s back. “Sorry, ladies, could I maybe talk to Miss O’Shea alone?” He requested, and they would share a look for a moment, appearing worried, before Mary-Beth looked up at him, and would voice her concerns as she feared that maybe something bad had happened to you due to the way he’d requested to talk privately with Molly, as if he were about to deliver her bad news regarding you after he’d gone out looking for you, and had recently - currently unbeknownst to them - brought you back, before this moment in time.

“Arthur, you - you did find Y/n, didn’t you?” She inquired, and he would realise, before nodding hastily to reassure them that you hadn’t got yourself killed this time, barely, but he now knew you would have if he’d not got to you in time.

“I found her, barely,” he answered, “but if I’d not got to her in time we’d have lost her.” Molly would then falter, glancing up at him with a hurt look on her face whilst she wondered what had happened to you; why you’d even decided to run off again in the first place, and he would then sigh upon noticing the look on her face. “That’s partly why I wanna talk to you alone for a minute, Miss O’Shea - would that be alright?” He asked, and she would appear nervous for a moment, before nodding gravely, and bowing her head again whilst she wondered what you might be doing, now; wondered if you were okay where you were, and if you’d still be upset with her if she came to check on you tomorrow whilst Dutch, Arthur, Bill, and Micah were out robbing the train the O’Driscolls had been targeting before Dutch had previously raided them. “Ladies?” He continued awkwardly, but they would understand, and nod hastily, before getting up to leave.

“Sorry, Arthur - we’ll get out of your way, now,” Tilly reassured him, before she and Mary-Beth left the room, and Arthur would then warily look outside, before closing the door, and leaning a little heavily against it whilst Molly continued to fidget with her hands warily, evidently anxious about what he might ask her, or be about to tell her regarding you briefly running off again earlier after you’d seen her and Dutch together, and she’d refused to give you a second chance, afraid of what might happen if she did, though she longed for things to return back to the way they were between you both; she missed you dearly, like you missed her more than you could ever miss anything else, excluding Murphy.

“So - what did ya wanna talk about, o-or ask me?” Molly began timidly, her voice briefly trembling whilst she bit down on her tongue a little to try and stop her voice from shaking anymore than it already was, and he would frown, before tilting his head partially; he couldn’t tell if she’d begun to cry again, but he’d certainly never seen her like this before.

Little did he know, she was trying not to break down again, but she was on the verge of failing miserably, and knew she might not be able to hold back her emotions again soon, especially when she knew that he wanted to discuss you, as well as her, and your secret relationship with one another.

“I’ll start things off easy,” he remarked, and she would nod again slowly whilst she tried to recompose herself, fighting back her tears to the best of her ability whilst she tried to stay focused so she could answer his incoming question, and do so whilst trying to protect you as well as herself from being hung, or harassed for your and her true hidden sexualities, and love for one another, “what happened between you and Y/n, earlier?”

She would try and appear puzzled whilst she tried to think up a response, rubbing her right arm with her left hand whilst she did subconsciously, and he then knew to expect a lie from her, at first.

“W-What are you talking about? Nothing happened between me and Y/n earlier,” she claimed, and he would raise his eyebrows, before grunting, and lowering his gaze a little; he’d have to get straight to the point if he wanted real answers from her, that much he could guess at this point, “we - we’re fine; h-happy, the way we are, not that it’s any of your business - you said as much, remember?”

“I did, but it is my business, now,” he contradicted, “it becomes my business when one of my companions tries to take their life, so-”

“T-Take their life? As in - As in suicide? Arthur, what - what are you-? But-” Her voice then failed her, and he would wince, realising she must think that maybe he’d lied to the others; that maybe you’d taken your life earlier, and she would never see you again, prompting her to shake her head hastily whilst tears began to stream down her cheek; she never thought that maybe she’d lose you like that, and the pain linked to the possibility of her never seeing you again was more excruciating than she had ever thought it could be. “No,” she whispered shakily, “A-Arthur, no, you - you said - you said Y/n was-”

“She’s fine, now,” he reassured hastily, “sorry, Miss O’Shea, I didn’t mean to suggest that she’d actually managed to-.. y’know.”

Molly then would allow a strained sob to escape her lips whilst her expression softened, and he would smile apologetically over at her, before awkwardly shuffling on the spot, and looking anywhere, but at her, until she spoke up again.

“I don’t know what I’d do without her, Arthur,” she admitted dejectedly, and he would nod gravely; he’d had similar fears after he and Mary had had to part ways, but his picture of her allowed him to feel as if he and her were still close together, though he’d never admit it to anyone, not even Dutch, Hosea, or Lenny. “Everything’s been-.. miserable,” she added, and he would nod again to show that he understood how she felt right now after whatever might have happened between you both to prompt you to try your hand at suicide, and she to seem like a shell of herself, as Mary-Beth previously suggested, and he now could see her to be, “w-wait, so, she-.. she tried to-.. b-because of me? I - I’m such an idiot, I-”

“Hey,” he interjected, “don’t start on yourself like that; you ain’t an idiot, and you didn’t know she’d try and do that after whatever it was that happened between you two.”

“Me and Y/n, we - we fought yesterday, and things haven’t been the same since,” she explained, and he would realise, “I-.. I never meant to hurt her like that, I swear; I - I just thought-.. I don’t know what I thought, now, I just miss her so much; I-.. I love her, Arthur.”

“I thought as much,” he replied, “but it ain’t of any concern to me, just - make sure you’re always keeping a low profile with Dutch, alright? I know it’s hard for you right now, but I don’t see any problem with it; you and Y/n are still my acquaintances, and somethin’ as stupid as love and relationships ain’t gonna change my mind about that.”

“Thank you, Arthur, that - that means a lot,” she responded, before managing a faint smile up at him, but it would soon fade shortly after she’d lowered her gaze again back down to her slightly shaky hands as a result of her shock over her mind being invaded by the possibility of her losing you, somehow, whilst her heart even seemed to still be aching despite her relief as a result of being reassured by Arthur that you were okay; that she had not lost you, though she’d feared that maybe she had as a result of his previous phrasing. Also, she couldn’t ignore the ache in her heart as a result of you not being there with her; that things hadn’t been resolved after the way they’d ended yesterday, and it was painful to remember the hurt look on your face that she’d noticed earlier once you’d both locked eyes for a moment after she’d briefly spoken to Dutch before he had rushed off to talk to Micah about his next plan regarding the gang’s future, and she hoped that maybe tomorrow - whilst Dutch and some of the others were out robbing the train the O’Driscolls had been targeting - she would be able to fix things with you, somehow; remind you of her never-ending feelings for you, as she knew she’d always love you, no matter what the future might hold for you both, she just wished you could remember whenever she reminded you of them.

“I can see this is still hurting you,” he observed, and Molly would frown, before nodding gravely; she didn’t dare respond verbally for fear of breaking down in front of him as she could tell that she was on the verge of doing so as a result of the overwhelming feelings that she was currently experiencing, “you should talk to Y/n; she misses you, I can tell she does, and the fact that she-.. y’know-.. went to such an extent as to-.. look, I ain’t good at these things, but - y’all are great together, and I don’t think you should let each other go, despite your situation, so - talk to her, as soon as you can, alright?”

“I’ll try, but - what if she doesn’t even wanna see me after earlier?” She inquired, and Arthur scoffed, before shaking his head.

“She wants to see you, Miss O’Shea, I can tell, though I ain’t one of those therapists, or some magical person who can read minds,” he insisted, “so don’t be scared, because the moment she notices you, she’ll be happy again, I know she will. Good luck, and don’t forget what I said about Dutch, and keeping a low profile.”

“Thanks again, Mr. Morgan,” she replied, and he would nod his head in response, humming quietly, before he left the room, and began to prepare himself for bed after the long day he’d had, whilst Molly - with newfound determination - would begin mixing the drug she had been using recently to get Dutch to sleep deeper, hoping that she’d be able to see you tonight, and therefore fix things before she could truly lose you.

🜚

Once Dutch had finally got to sleep, Molly wouldn’t hesitate to get up out of bed, before she quietly as well as hastily walked out of the shack, faltering upon noticing the stable a few paces away from her, prompting her to draw in a shaky breath, before she smiled softly, and would push herself to continue walking toward the building, hoping that tonight would be the night that you both could go back to being happy together again. It was when she heard crying behind the stable doors that she faltered, a pained expression on her face whilst she lingered by the door, before she opened it, and would frown when she noticed you curled up upon your blanket, crying into your right arm whilst you tried not to sob uncontrollably, until you heard the door open, and would allow a strained sob to escape your lips; you’d evidently been startled by Molly’s sudden appearance, until your gaze fell upon her, and you would forget how to breathe for a moment.

You would then pull yourself up off of the ground, leaning heavily against the stable door for a moment; you’d evidently been drinking for a little while, prompting her heart to sink even further; she couldn’t believe she’d driven you to try and take your life, and now to start drinking again after you’d both fought, and she had disappeared back into the shack after talking to Dutch.

“M-Molly-?” You strained out weakly, your voice barely audible, and she would falter upon hearing it, before allowing a faint sob to escape her, and then rushing up to you to embrace you, and you wouldn’t hesitate to cling to her whilst you both broke down within one another’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably whilst you revelled in the moment, clinging to each other as if your lives depended on holding each other the way that you were, now. “I - I’m so sorry,” you whispered shakily whilst you buried your face into the crook of her neck, and she would hastily shake her head, not wanting you to feel as if you had to apologise for the fight as she felt as if she were responsible for allowing it to go on the way it did, “I - I love you so much, Mol, I-.. I need you; I can’t do this without you - I - I still find myself falling asleep with you on my mind, a-and it - it hurts; hurts so much - p-please, don’t - don’t leave me; I have nothing without you; I am nothing without you, Miss O’Shea-”

“That’s not true, Y/n,” she contradicted, “you’re everything with, or without, me; you don’t need me to be everything - you know that, don’t ya?”

“No, I - I don’t,” you answered, “b-but that doesn’t matter, now, a-all that matters is that I love you, Molly, just-.. promise me something.”

“Anything,” she replied, “I - I’d do anything for you, Y/n - what do you want me to promise ya?”

“Promise - Promise me that - that you’ll-.. you’ll stay, just for tonight, if - if you don’t wanna see me again after today; I’d understand if you didn’t, I just - I don’t know-.. I don’t know what to do, or - or even think anymore-”

“Hey,” she cooed gently, before lifting her left hand up to your right cheek gently, prompting you to fall quiet, and instantly melt into her touch whilst you locked eyes with her blissfully, and couldn’t help, but admire her whilst more small tears began to cloud your vision; you couldn’t believe you’d fought with her again, and hated yourself for it - how could you fight with someone so perfect, and risk losing them; risk losing the only person who’d ever made you feel happier than you had ever been before? How could you hurt her the way you could tell you had? Her eyes were a little red, like your’s, excluding your wounded left eye which you could barely open after it had been scratched by one of the wolves that had recently ambushed you. “Why would you think that I wouldn’t wanna see you again after today?” She inquired, and you would frown, before bowing your head a little, and then begrudgingly escaping her embrace carefully without hurting her so you could walk up to Murphy, and pat at her neck using your right hand gently whilst she watched you, a pained expression on her face; to lose physical contact with you made her feel empty, and numb, whilst she longed to feel your arms around her again after you’d both not been able to embrace one another for a little while, now.

“T-The fight,” you began again faintly, and she would realise, before nodding gravely, and glancing down at the ground whilst you cursed yourself again for starting it the way you had; cursed yourself for allowing your jealousy to take over the way it had after you’d seen her and Dutch together again. “I thought-.. I thought you’d hate me, after-..” You admitted, and she would hastily shake her head, before closing the gap between you both again, wrapping her arms around your waist blissfully whilst she rested her head upon your right shoulder, and you would appear surprised, but you wouldn’t hesitate to melt into her embrace subconsciously, smiling softly whilst you rested the back of your head against her left shoulder.

“Y/n, you - you know I could never hate ya,” she cooed, “I love ya, and that’s never gonna change, I promise.”

You would then carefully turn around within her arms, before you smirked over at her, and would wrap your arms around her waist whilst you affectionately connected your forehead to her own blissfully, prompting her heart to skip a beat whilst she admired you again, and easily grew to be quite flustered whilst her cheeks began to warm up as a result of how close you both currently were together.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t fall in love with someone like me,” you reminded her, and she would wince, before shaking her head hastily, and then teasing you by brushing her lips against your own for a moment, prompting your heart to skip a beat alongside her’s whilst it began to race a little overwhelmingly in the best way possible.

“You know I didn’t mean that,” she replied, and you would raise your eyebrows whilst she pouted a little in response to your reaction, prompting you to giggle whilst you subconsciously raised your right hand up to her left cheek so you could feel her soft skin again, and even connect some of her freckles together using your thumb without even needing to look at them; you just knew where they were, now, though you liked to look at her freckles whenever you woke up before her, finding them, as well as her entire being, to be adorable. “How could I not fall in love with someone as beautiful as my beloved Y/n L/n?” She remarked, flustering you even further as you made to protest, believing yourself to be the opposite of what she saw you to be, but before you could even open your mouth to do so, she would delicately connect her lips to your own, before she then picked you up off of the ground, prompting you to giggle whilst she carried you over to your sheet and blanket, smiling lovingly down at you when she wasn’t kissing you, until she reached the sheet, and could carefully lower you down onto it, intending to make yesterday night, and today up to you to the best of her ability.

🜸🜚🜸

As soon as Dutch had left the next morning with Arthur, Micah, Bill, and Lenny to rob the train the O’Driscolls had previously been targeting, Molly would sneak out to find you, surprised, as well as elated to see you waiting outside for her timidly whilst you were anxiously fidgeting with your hands, evidently nervous to see her though she couldn’t imagine why; you - unbeknownst to her - were always afraid of disappointing her, somehow, knowing that you could never truly be good enough for her, no matter how much you longed to be exactly that for her, or maybe even more; she deserved someone who could be perfect for her, and no matter how much she tried to deny it, you knew that that wasn’t what you were, and most likely could never be what you were for her.

She then would falter in place when she noticed Mary-Beth walking up to check on you, surprised by the pang of jealousy she then experienced, but she would quickly lower her gaze, and act as if she were interested in one of the patterns on the dress you’d bought for her recently as a gift for her birthday, until you were alone again, and would make to distract yourself by cleaning the saddle you’d hung up upon one of the hitching posts outside to the left side of the barn’s entrance. Following her noticing that you were now stood with your back to her, Molly would smirk, before making to approach you again, and once she’d got close enough to do so, she would warily look around to check that the surroundings were clear, before she wrapped her arms around your waist, prompting you to jump a little, before your heart skipped a beat, and began to race again.

“Do you, or did you, now, miss me, Miss L/n?” She inquired, prompting you to grin whilst you subconsciously melted into her embrace, allowing your head to rest blissfully upon her left shoulder.

“You know very well that I did, Miss O’Shea,” you answered, before smirking up at her, and she would beam back down at you, before she then leaned down to delicately press her lips to your neck, prompting you to shudder a little, as well as to giggle softly in response to feeling her soft lips against it; her kisses were so light, but they still made you burst out so easily into fits of uncontrollable giggles. “Did you miss me?” You asked when you had managed to briefly recompose yourself, and she would then appear taken aback by the question, before opening her mouth to answer it, only to be interrupted by the sound of a door opening nearby, startling her, but to appease her you would then manage to ease her around the corner to keep her and you hidden whilst you gently pinned her to the wall, flustering her, as well as yourself whilst you both occasionally locked eyes longingly, but you knew that if either of you gave in to your feelings, and made any kind of noise whilst whoever had just come outside was talking to a companion, and could easily catch you both together - something you both feared regarding one another’s safety - as you knew that they could easily harass you if they found out about your and her secret relationship; you could easily lose one another if anyone else found out about you and her, and believed yourselves lucky to be supported by Arthur, somehow, though you’d previously believed he might not support you like you hoped he would the first time he revealed his suspicions regarding your and her seemingly ‘too close to be just best friends’ relationship.

“I heard from Miss Grimshaw that we might be moving down the mountain soon,” a familiar voice you could only assume belonging to Mary-Beth would sound out more clearly, and you would appear surprised, as well as a little disappointed; you’d been getting used to sneaking around with Molly here, and feared what changes a new camp might bring for you both, but you would try and hide this from her, hiding your face from her to the best of your ability whilst you seemed to begin blushing a little more profusely upon being reminded of the position you were both in, with no gaps left between you both in the best way possible. “To some clearing called Horseshoe Overlook,” she added, “hopefully you, John, and Jack settle down more there - do you think you will?”

“I mean I hope so, but - I don’t know what to do about John; he just ain’t interested in spending time with Jack,” you then realised that Mary-Beth must be talking to Abigail regarding John’s awkward and distant relationship with his - though possibly not biological son - Jack, after he’d briefly run off following Abigail’s giving birth to Jack. “I guess this is just-.. the way things are between them now,” she concluded dejectedly, “I’m glad to get out of this snow, anyway; it ain’t warm enough here, and I’m sick of bein’ cooped up within that shack all day.”

“I hear ya,” Mary-Beth corroborated, “it’s horrible; always too crowded, and it ain’t gonna be doin’ Mrs Adler any good to be stuck in there, either - some fresh air would do her some good; it would do all of us good.”

“I sure hope so,” Abigail expressed, and you would then express relief upon hearing another door shut - which one you couldn’t be sure, but your guess was that they’d gone into the smaller shack whilst Bill, Micah, and Lenny were out to continue their private conversation without any interruption by the other companions who hadn’t accompanied Dutch and the others to rob the O’Driscoll’s previously targeted train.

You then - begrudgingly - made to move away, but she would hastily shake her head, before wrapping her arms around your waist to keep you in place, surprising you, but you wouldn’t protest against her action, instead smirking over at her whilst you tilted your head partially, and wore a knowing expression on your face.

“D-Don’t move, yet,” she requested exasperatedly, and you would nod, before smiling lovingly over at her, and affectionately connecting your forehead to her own, prompting her heart to begin pounding whilst you both revelled in the blissful moment; revelled in being so close again whilst both of you began to feel warm and fuzzy all over again, your eyes glinting whenever they locked with her’s in the best way possible.

“You’re strong - you know that, don’t you?” You remarked, and she would appear taken aback, as well as flattered and further flustered by your compliment due to the unexpectedness of it.

“I’m not strong, you’re just weak, Miss L/n,” she teased, prompting you to pout over at her in response to her reaction, and she would have to try her best not to giggle, and give into your now one puppy eye due to your inability to properly open your left one after one of the ambushing wolves had scratched you across that side of the face, getting your eye alongside your cheek. “I also noticed you jumped earlier when I hugged you,” she reminded you, and you would wince, evidently embarrassed, before lowering your gaze hastily whilst she smirked over at you again, “are you afraid of me? Of your best friend in the entire world, Molly O’Shea?”

“Never,” you answered, before leaning forward to delicately connect your lips to her’s, and she would instantly melt into the kiss, smiling against your lips.

Once the kiss had sadly ended, you both would sport flustered as well as dazed expressions on your faces whilst you smiled lovingly, and admired one another, she lifting her left hand up to your right cheek, and you lifting your right hand up to her left one, whilst your free arms remained around one another to keep each other close, and to banish any of the remaining gaps that had been left between you.

“Good, because if you were, I’d have to punish ya, wouldn’t I?” She teased, and you would raise your eyebrows, before smirking over at her again, and then tilting your head partially whilst you inched even closer to her, somehow flustering her even more whilst she began to find it harder to breathe, but in a comforting way that made her feel as if she shouldn’t panic whilst she focused on you, and only you, her eyes glinting in the best way possible alongside your own.

“Is that a threat, Miss O’Shea?” You inquired, and she would grin mischievously, before pretending to think about your question for a moment as she knew what you were planning on doing, and she wanted to fluster you even more by making you wait for it for a brief moment, prompting you to pout again, and she to giggle whilst she lovingly booped the tip of your nose with her own to get you to start smiling again; she already missed your smile, though she found you to be adorable whenever you began to pout like you had a brief moment ago.

“Why? Do you want it to be?” She questioned, and you would vaguely shrug, before grinning up at her whilst you wrapped your arms around her waist again, prompting her heart to skip a beat whilst she subconsciously glanced down at your lips for a moment; they were so close again, and all she could think about was kissing you again.

“No, but - whatever you’re doing is working,” you remarked suggestively, “I’m terrified of you right now, and am even more scared of what you might do to me, now that you know that.”

“Really? ‘Cause I think you know what I’m gonna do, Miss L/n,” she replied, and you would feign knowledge regarding what the next moment might bring whilst you shook your head, and would try and appear puzzled, “you’re gonna hate it.”

“Why do I doubt that?” You responded, between the brief and blissful kisses that you both were currently sharing.

“I don’t know,” she answered, “maybe you will, maybe you won’t - let’s find out, shall we?”

“I’d like that,” you corroborated, and she would then beam over at you, glad, before she led you slowly- after checking around the corner to make sure that there were no other outside wanderers around - around the same aforementioned corner, and then disappeared hastily back into the stable with you, passionately kissing you briefly, before she closed the door behind her to give you both a little more privacy, until Dutch and the others had sadly returned, meaning you both had to part temporarily, until the early hours of the morning had finally come around again.

|

Once he’d returned, Dutch had confirmed his plans to begin moving down the mountain, instructing everyone to begin packing ready for their move the next day. You recalled how you and Molly briefly shared a worried glance; you weren’t sure how easy it would be to sneak around, now that you were going to be residing in some other place, but you knew you should try and provide comfort to her, so you would smile softly in her direction, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she smiled timidly back at you, and would warily look over at Dutch to make sure that he’d not noticed, but he was already too immersed in his brief speech about resilience, and freedom, to pick up on your and her connection.

A few hours after that moment, Molly was making her way toward the stable, until she faltered upon hearing two voices within it, one belonging to Mary-Beth, and the other you. Her heart would then sink, before she bowed her head a little, though she wasn’t sure why she was jealous, and anxious regarding how you and Mary-Beth had been talking a lot recently, but before she could even begin to argue with herself over whether she should return to the shack in which she’d left Dutch deeply sleeping again, the stable door would begin to open, panicking her as she rushed over to the same wall she’d been hiding behind with you earlier.

Being here again seemed to prompt her to smile softly whilst she recalled the way in which you’d gently pinned her to the wall to avoid being seen by Mary-Beth and Abigail, and the way you had so delicately kissed her as if you viewed her to be a tender flower you were terrified of crushing, somehow, making her feel content again, as well as a little guilty for assuming that maybe you’d do something behind her back like cheat on her with Mary-Beth, as if she’d not briefly been in pain before following her hearing Mary-Beth’s voice alongside your own within the stable.

Once she’d heard the door to the shack in which she resided alongside most of the other gang members open, she would peek her head around the corner to make sure that she had gone, before she warily snuck around to the stable door, and would then timidly knock upon it, not wanting to surprise you by entering without making you aware of her presence. As soon as you opened the door, you couldn’t help, but beam over at her, evidently elated to see her again though you’d both already seen one another a few hours ago, now.

“M-Miss O’Shea-”

“Can I come in?” She requested, and you would falter, before nodding hastily, and stepping aside to allow her to enter the stable, before you closed the door whilst your heart seemed to sink a little, though you weren’t sure why; you had been taken aback by her reaction, and were evidently worried that maybe she was upset with you, for a reason unbeknownst to you, leaving you terrified that maybe you might lose her again, somehow, and this thought would prompt your heart to begin racing overwhelmingly, as well as excruciatingly whilst you warily watched her seeming to look around subconsciously as if she were searching for something incriminating, though you couldn’t imagine why; Mary-Beth had only come in to check on you after you’d disappeared with the intention of trying to take your life a couple of days ago, now, wanting to make sure that you were okay, now, especially due to how you were often alone within the stable - well, they (excluding Arthur) were being made to believe that you were, a lot of the time, when - whenever Molly was available - sometimes you weren’t, obviously unbeknownst to them.

“Hey,” you cooed, and she would then wince, before timidly looking over at you, “are - are you okay? You seem-”

“What, Y/n?” She interjected, unable to stop herself, and you would fall quiet, a pained expression on your face whilst you wondered what had happened to upset her the way it had, even cursing yourself quietly for whatever it was that you had done, prompting your heart to ache again whilst you puzzled quietly over whether you might have said something earlier that she might have disagreed with, and it frightened you even more to think that maybe something you’d done had hurt her, somehow, even prompting small tears to cloud your vision as you knew you’d never be able to forgive yourself if you ever ended up hurting her; you’d only ever wanted to make her happy; to make her feel special, and valued, the way she was, and had always; would always deserve to be treated, her new demeanour prompting you to begin doubting excruciatingly your ability to try and do such things for her, the way you had feared you couldn’t before, following the first ever time that you’d both shared a blissful kiss. “What do I seem like to you, right now? ‘Cause I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me; it’s you,” she continued, her voice briefly trembling whilst she did, and you would frown, a crestfallen expression on your face, before you bowed your head dejectedly; nothing had ever hurt so excruciatingly before, but you weren’t surprised by her revelation, due to how you’d often viewed yourself to be nothing, compared to her, and always feared that maybe you could never he good enough for her, “what’s going on between you and Mary-Beth? Tell me, and I might change my mind, but if you don’t tell me-.. well - you - you already know what’ll happen, don’t ya?”

You would then glance up at her, appearing taken aback by her question, before you hastily shook your head, and would timidly step closer to her, only prompting her to step back reluctantly, prompting your heart to sink again, before you faltered, and found your heart aching again excruciatingly within your chest.

“Mol, what - what are you talking about? What’s Mary-Beth got to do with anything?” You questioned, and she would frown when she noticed that you’d begun to cry, prompting her own heart to sink again alongside your own as she hated seeing you upset like you were, now, wishing she’d never brought her suspicions up as she knew that you’d never intentionally hurt her by doing something like that to her.

“I saw, and heard her in here, Y/n,” she clarified, “and I saw her talking to you earlier - why are you two so close, now, huh? What has she got that I haven’t? Am I not good enough for ya, or something? Not enough for ya-? What even am I to ya, Miss L/n? Because I’m not sure anymore.”

“Molly, you - you’re everything to me,” you expressed shakily, and she would falter, a pained expression on her face whilst it softened, and she began to feel guilty all over again for even thinking that you’d cheat on her like she’d feared you had, a brief moment ago, “Mary-Beth’s just a friend, I promise; I love you, Miss O’Shea-”

“Yeah, but - we used to be friends to be just friends, too,” she reminded you, and you couldn’t help, but smile softly over at her, before you timidly rubbed your right arm using your left hand, prompting her to tilt her head partially whilst she wondered for a moment what you might be thinking about; what you might be about to say, even feeling her heart beginning to race overwhelmingly as she could tell by the look on your face that you were about to say something that might end up easily flustering her somehow.

“Sure, we used to merely be friends, before, but,” you began again, before you inched closer to her again, and this time she found she couldn’t move away; couldn’t help, but admire you, and allow you to draw closer, after you’d both been separated for a little while ever since Dutch had returned from the train robbery he’d planned, “Mol, you - you’re so much more to me than that, now, and nobody could ever be as special to me the way that you are; you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Molly O’Shea, a-and I - I’m never gonna stop trying to prove that to you, u-until you - you decide you don’t want me anymore-”

“Hey,” she interjected gently, before wrapping her arms around your waist, and you wouldn’t hesitate to melt into her embrace whilst you returned the hug, and would subconsciously connect your forehead to her own whilst you admired her, and couldn’t help, but smile lovingly over at her, “there will never be a day that I wake up, and decide that I don’t want you anymore, I promise; I love you, too, Y/n, and that’s never gonna change, n-no matter what, you know that, right?”

“O-Of course I do,” you reassured her, and she would express relief, before smiling warmly back at you, glad, “it’s like I told you before; I remember everything that - that my beautiful beloved tells me, a-and I always will, just - promise me that you know - that you know I could never hurt you like that; I’d - I’d never be able to forgive myself; w-would never be able to even - even go on living if I-.. Molly-..”

A strained sob then slipped from your lips, and she would frown upon hearing it, before shaking her head, and then lifting her left hand up to your right cheek to try and provide comfort to you, prompting you to instantly melt into her touch whilst more tears began to stream down your cheeks again; it was painful to even think about waking up, and realising that she was no longer beside you, and you couldn’t let it happen - just couldn’t; you couldn’t lose her again, so you were determined not to, for as long as she still decided that she somehow wanted you, despite all that you had both already been through together over the years.

“Don’t cry, Y/n,” she cooed whilst she held you close to her, and you would cling to her whilst she rubbed your back soothingly with her right hand; she wished she could do more for you, “you’d never hurt me; I know you wouldn’t, so don’t ever worry about something like that, because I trust you, and I know everything about ya; I love you, Miss L/n.”

You couldn’t help, but smile softly whilst you buried your face into the crook of her neck, and she would smile lovingly alongside you whilst she lifted her right hand a little to blissfully entangle her fingers within your hair.

“I - I’m glad, because - I love you, too, Miss O’Shea,” you returned, your voice briefly trembling whilst you continued to try and recompose yourself after you’d broken down a brief moment ago, “I always have, a-and I always will, I promise; I - I swear it on my own life-”

“None of that,” she whined, before holding you at arms length, surprising you as you began to feel empty upon the loss of warmth you had experienced being so close to her previously, and it would even prompt your heart to sink to have gaps between you both again, but the pain would instantly fade away when your eyes locked with her’s in the best way possible, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to smile faintly whilst you admired her blissfully, “I don’t wanna lose ya, Y/n-”

“You won’t lose me, I promise,” you reassured hastily, not wanting her to think that she would, especially depending on your feelings, “because - the only thing I’m certain of now is the fact that I love you; t-the fact that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, and maybe even whatever comes after that if - if we can still be together, but if we can’t, I’d reject whatever afterlife I’m given, because I only wanna be with you, Mol, and that’s never gonna change, n-no matter what the future holds for us.”

Molly then found she couldn’t hold it back anymore as she began to cry quietly, prompting your heart to sink, and expression to soften whilst you shook your head, and would try and provide comfort to her by affectionately connecting your forehead to her own, before you lifted your right hand up to her left cheek to delicately brush away her tears, and smile lovingly over at her whilst she clung to you, and gradually begun to recompose herself.

“W-What did I do to deserve you, Y/n?” She inquired, her voice close to a shaky whisper, and you would appear taken aback by her question.

“I should be the one asking what I did to deserve someone as perfect as you,” you answered, and she would frown, before hastily shaking her head whilst she wondered why you kept putting yourself down, wishing again that she could do more to show you how perfect you were, and always would be, in her eyes, scar and all. “Molly, you - you’re everything, and I’m-”

“Perfect,” she interjected, prompting you to falter, and fall quiet whilst you locked eyes with her in the best way possible, “t-the most beautiful, caring, funny, talented, and bravest woman I’ve ever met, and that’s never gonna change; I will never stop trying to prove that that is what you are to me, Y/n; you’re everything to me, and do ya remember what I told you before - a few days ago - about what I’d have to do to you if you ever started believing that you’re not good enough for me again?”

You then couldn’t help, but grin toothily over at her whilst you recalled the very day she was referring to, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst you recalled the way she’d run her hand down your chest, and stomach, before you were both interrupted by Dutch, Arthur, and Micah’s return to the camp after they’d gone out looking for a food source, John, and had had to take on a few O’Driscolls that had settled down in the nearby area, prompting you both to have to briefly part ways for the night the way you had, just to avoid them suspecting either of you, therefore protecting one another from possibly being harassed for your homosexuality, as well as the possibility of either of you having to come face to face with the noose.

“I might remember - if you remind me, maybe, of what it is that you’re planning on doing to me for my crime,” you bargained, and she would smirk, before raising her eyebrows a little, and easing your body even closer to her own to close the gaps between you both, as well as fluster you whilst you timidly glanced up at her, blood rushing to your cheeks instantly in response to her action.

“I’d love to, Miss L/n,” she replied, before leaning closer to you so her lips could be dangerously close to brushing against your own, prompting you to have to fight back a whimper whilst you silently begged her to kiss you, desperate to feel her lips against your own again though you’d both recently kissed a little earlier in the day whilst Dutch and a few of the others had been out robbing the O’Driscolls previously targeted train. “With pleasure,” she added, before she finally connected her lips to your’s delicately, and you would instantly melt into the kiss, before she picked you up off of the ground, prompting you to giggle, and cling to her shoulders whilst she carried you over to your sheet, kissing you again a little more passionately once she’d recovered from her own giggling fit, before she lowered you carefully down onto it, and would then clumsily straddle you, prompting you both to laugh again as you knew you must look funny the way you were currently positioned, before she’d stabilised herself, and would then continue to kiss you deeply, as well as still gently, until she finally felt confident enough to make the first move.

🜸🜚🜸

Originally, you’d both travelled down alongside the others to Horseshoe Overlook with hopeful hearts; you thought maybe it would remain to be easy for you both to continue sneaking around together, but it seemed to be slightly harder now, and a tad bit more risky; you’d have to travel a little further away just to go on meeting one another the way you would up in the mountains. The clearing, and higher rate of civilisation around it, only posed more risk of you both being caught together, somehow, and therefore the risk of you being hung for being two women romantically involved, something you thought that maybe they’d never agree with, no matter how many years might pass; how many you and Molly might see through together without being excruciatingly parted from one another.

The thought of losing her again would prompt you to tense up, and wince whilst your heart began to ache overwhelmingly; you were terrified to think of a world in which you’d never be able to hear her voice again; couldn’t even fathom what it would be like to never even hold her, or have your gaze blissfully fall upon her, but the universe seemed to also be against you both being together, as things soon seemed to go wrong again, and so painfully quickly that you feared you might never be able to truly recover from the upcoming events. They started with you witnessing Molly and Dutch kissing, though you knew it was meant to be something you’d got used to already, with them officially being together, now, and you just her supposed beloved side piece, no matter how much she might insist that Dutch was the one who was the side piece in the matter; you’d never be able to believe otherwise, not anymore; you’d stopped believing ever since you’d joined the gang after being encouraged to by her, and sometimes you wished that you’d never made such a fateful decision, especially after days like today.

You were leaning against Murphy’s hitching post, when you timidly looked over at Dutch’s and Molly’s tent; you’d heard Molly’s voice, and as usual it prompted your heart to skip a beat, and you to smile softly whilst you subconsciously admired her upon noticing that she’d left the tent to strike up a conversation with Dutch. As this was more of an open area, she guessed she should do so to avoid suspicion being struck up again like it had regarding Arthur, and his now awareness of your and her situation, but she’d never thought that she would have to do so quite as often as she was having to, with Dutch being around camp more, now.

Knowing that you were watching, she was trying to be careful, afraid of hurting you again, but he had been the one to begin flirting with her the way he had, only making things harder for her to control as she knew that him flirting with her meant that she should return the favour, in the eyes of the others, and that was when he turned to face her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and then leaned forward to connect his lips to her’s, and of course she couldn’t pull away, reminding herself of what might happen to you if you both were exposed for being the way that you always had, and always would be, so she fought back the urge to escape his embrace, instead returning it, and pretending to melt into the kiss, but it looked real enough to you.

As soon as they’d kissed, you began to feel numb again, your heart sinking, and aching excruciatingly whilst you faltered in place, and would find yourself feeling lost again, though you knew that - with them being together - they would eventually kiss again, with or without you there to witness it happening. Once it had ended, you would hastily bow your head, not wanting her to look over - though you doubted why she’d even bother doing so - and see that you were trying not to cry, not wanting to hurt her by having her see that you were in pain as a result of what had just taken place between she and him.

“You alright there, Y/n?” You would wince, before hastily wiping your invading tears away before Arthur could notice your change in demeanour, and question it again, despite his knowing about you and Molly, now.

“Sure,” you claimed, avoiding eye contact with him to the best of your ability whilst you also occasionally bowed your head whenever you felt more small tears beginning to cloud your vision, having to bite down on your tongue slightly to try and avoid having your voice tremble no matter how much it seemed to long to whilst you were verging on breaking down again, “why - why wouldn’t I be?”

“You look lonely over here, that’s all,” he explained, and you would scoff, before turning to face Murphy, prompting her to whinny gently whilst you pat at her neck using your right hand, and scratched at her ear as you knew she liked you to do so, especially whenever she was bored, and having to be tied to this post whenever you both weren’t riding out of the camp quietly with Molly, often only just managing to get passed whoever was on duty guarding the camp each time.

“Well I’m not - I have Murphy, don’t I?” You reminded him, and he would appear embarrassed for a moment, glad that you weren’t currently facing him, before he cleared his throat awkwardly in response to your contradiction.

“Still; you could surely do with getting some more fresh air with the others, couldn’t you?” He pried, and you would roll your eyes, before turning to face him again whilst you crossed your arms impatiently, and would appear skeptical of what he might be getting at.

“What do you want from me, Arthur?” You questioned, and he would wince; he could tell you weren’t in a great mood, and knew then that you’d probably refuse his upcoming suggestion, though he’d been hoping that maybe he’d be able to keep you distracted for a while as he could easily infer that you had been struggling a lot more recently due to you often noticing Molly and Dutch together, more than you had up in the Grizzly Mountains. He also knew that getting you out of camp for a little while would further protect you from Susan; she’d still been bugging you recently again for not doing much around camp away from where Dutch might be able to see her doing so as she knew that either he or Molly would try and dissuade her from you if they caught her having a go at you again.

“Nothin’,” he answered simply, “I just thought maybe you’d wanna join me, Uncle, and some of the others on a trip up to Valentine, a town near here; it could do you some good bein’ out for a little while, don’t you think?”

You would scoff, before shaking your head gravely; nothing, but Molly, could restore you whenever you found yourself in pain, like you were, now, as a result of you being an unlucky nothing witness to her and Dutch’s previous kiss.

“Maybe some other time, but-.. I can’t, today,” you uttered, and he would nod gravely; he’d been expecting an answer like that from you, and he would sigh heavily after you’d turned away from him again to distract yourself with Murphy to the best of your ability.

“Look, Y/n, you - you know Molly loves you, don’t you?” He began again, and you would falter upon hearing the question, before you warily looked back at him.

“How did you-”

“It was obvious, really,” he remarked, and you would frown, before nodding gravely whilst you lowered your gaze again, and wondered again why the smallest of things kept hurting you the way that they were, recently, “I didn’t need Molly to tell me the night you disappeared again.”

“Wait, she - she told you?” You mused, and he would nod, before shrugging; he didn’t think it to be a big deal, especially when he wasn’t the harassing kind of type when it came down to situations like these.

“Sure, she told me,” he repeated, “why? It ain’t a problem; you know I ain’t one of those people who’d think bad things about people like you and Molly - I don’t see anything wrong with it; love’s just some stupid thing you get sidetracked by, anyway, so why should it concern me enough to make me want to make anyone suffer anymore than they’re already being made to?”

“Love only makes you suffer when the person you’re in love with makes you feel like you mean nothing to them,” you murmured dejectedly, and he would nod gravely, before looking away from you for a moment as if what you’d said had reminded him of his own experience with Mary, prompting you to wince, before you hastily shook your head, “sorry, Arthur, I didn’t mean-”

“I know what you meant, Y/n,” he reassured, before smiling faintly over at you, “but you know it ain’t like that, don’t you? Molly could never intentionally hurt you like that-”

“Y/n-?” You would falter, a pained expression on your face following you hearing her voice again, and he would fall quiet, before awkwardly smiling over at her, and tipping his hat a little to greet her.

“Miss O’Shea,” you managed, your voice close to a whisper, and she would frown, wondering why you were trying to hide your face from her.

“I’ll leave y’all to it; Uncle’s probably getting impatient to get movin’, so - I’ll see you both in a bit and check on you, alright?” He concluded, before rushing off back to the wagon before Uncle could give him an earful, keeping him and the ladies (Karen, Mary-Beth, and Tilly) waiting for him to join them.

“Y-Y/n, I-”

“I think I’m gonna try out hunting,” you decided, and she would falter, a pained expression on her face whilst she watched you unhitching Murphy, your hands shaking a little whilst you did, prompting her heart to sink, before she gently held your hands within her own in an attempt to try and provide comfort to you, and you would appear a little more relaxed, your hands instantly ceasing to shake as soon as they were immersed within her warmth.

“Talk to me,” she cooed, her voice briefly trembling, and you would frown, before glancing up at her whilst she silently begged you to stay, “Y/n-”

“T-There’s nothing to talk about,” you interjected in a strained manner, before forcing yourself to remove your hands from her own, prompting her to appear crestfallen upon losing physical contact with you so soon, “I - I’ll be back later, okay?”

“But-”

“Just - go back to Dutch before he starts thinking I mean anything more to you,” you uttered, before climbing up onto Murphy’s saddle, and she would shake her head hastily, desperate to try and stop you from leaving like this as she could tell, now, that you must have seen them kissing earlier.

“Y-Y/n, no, please,” she begged feebly, “stay, I - I love you, I-”

“I don’t need you to lie to me anymore,” you interjected, “Mol, n-nobody’s ever wanted me; my parents didn’t even want me; I guess I should have realised that this was all just too good to be true, right?”

“No, Y/n, that - that’s not-”

“Have a nice life, Mol,” you strained out, before you eased Murphy into a gallop before she could try and stop you; you didn’t want to break down in front of her again, knowing you’d hurt her even more if you did, and you knew that you’d never be able to forgive yourself by doing so, though you already knew you’d forever hate yourself for reacting the way you had, especially after you’d begun to come to your senses after a little while, but of course you always seemed to do so when it was far too late to take back what had already been said and done.

🜚

Once you’d got back to the camp, you were greeted by Arthur and Susan rushing up to you, whilst Dutch hesitated, before following behind them, Molly warily watching, and seeming to examine you from afar with a pained expression on her face to make sure that you were okay; make sure that you hadn’t returned wounded, but as soon as you locked eyes with her, she would falter, appearing to be stuck in place for a moment whilst she admired you, before she forced herself to bow her head, and would disappear back into the tent as she didn’t want to break down in front of you and the others, especially when she could tell that she was verging on doing so.

As soon as she’d disappeared, your heart would sink, whilst small tears began to cloud your vision again; you couldn’t believe you’d messed up with her all over again. You then bowed your head whilst you bit down on your bottom lip in an attempt to try and stop it from shaking, somehow; you couldn’t stand being so far away from her, and knowing that you’d left things the way you had, leaving you feeling numb inside, and as if you’d lost everything now that you knew she’d probably never forgive you for the way you’d treated her earlier, prompting you to curse yourself internally, not even jumping when Susan raised a shotgun to you, whilst Arthur and Dutch shouted for her to lower it.

“Where’d you go without telling anyone, huh?” She questioned, before having Arthur grab hold of the gun, and would pry it from Susan before she could shoot you down off of Murphy for leaving so unexpectedly earlier the way you had.

“Lay off her, would you?” Arthur commanded, and Susan would appear shocked, scowling over at him whilst she shook her head subconsciously.

“Sometimes I can’t quite believe you, Mr. Morgan,” she retorted, before storming off to go and find someone else she could pick on.

“What the hell were you thinking, Y/n?” He questioned gruffly, and you would simply shrug, before bowing your head a little whilst you stared down at the reins of Murphy’s bridle, before you glanced over at the wild flowers in your right hand that you had picked for Molly, hoping she’d accept them for your previous behaviour earlier, though you doubted that she would, now, prompting you to frown, whilst your heart began to ache overwhelmingly; you’d never do anything right, of that fact you were certain, now.

“I - I don’t know what to think, anymore,” you admitted weakly, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, before you scoffed, and silently cursed yourself again for being so weak, hastily lifting your free left hand up to try and rid yourself of the tears that had managed to escape your eyes again, “I never did-”

“There she is!” Dutch greeted once he’d reached you both, and you would tense up, before silently grimacing down at your hands again; you knew you couldn’t openly oppose him for fear of what might happen to you and Molly if you tried, no matter how much you longed to let him know exactly what you thought of him. “Where’ve you been, Miss L/n? We’ve all been worried sick about you; Miss O’Shea’s not even said a word to me ever since you left,” he stated, and you would falter, appearing surprised, as well as a little hopeful whilst you looked over at him, “do you need us to get you anything, or are you okay, now?”

“I’m fine, now; I’ll live,” you managed, before dismounting Murphy, and leading her over to the hitching post whilst Dutch and Arthur curiously watched you, before Dutch began again.

“That’s good to hear - well, welcome back anyway, and make sure next time that you let one of us know where it is that you’re going, alright?” He advised, and you would nod begrudgingly whilst you leaned heavily against the hitching post, before he walked back to his and Molly’s tent to share the good news that you’d returned with Molly as he hadn’t noticed her peeking out of the tent a brief moment ago following your sudden as well as a tad unexpected return, and therefore assumed that she didn’t yet know about it, when she did already know, unbeknownst to him, and would express relief again following his informing her of your return, and upon him asking her if she’d like to see you, she would falter, and hastily try and come up with an excuse, eventually coming to the conclusion that she was currently not feeling well, and was afraid of making you feel the same way, and surprisingly he seemed to believe her, relieving her even more as she’d feared that maybe he would begin suspecting you both for the way in which she seemed to be trying to distance herself from you after what had taken place earlier, no matter how much it pained her excruciatingly to leave gaps between you both again.

“You can be a real idiot sometimes, you know that?” Arthur remarked, and you would grunt, before hitching Murphy up again so you could begin to brush her to try and hide from him the pain you were currently in, though he could already tell that there was something wrong, and had guessed that something had happened between you and Molly after he’d heard from her that you had run off on Murphy. “Me and Charles, we went out lookin’ for you,” he stated, and you would wince, before reluctantly putting the brush away, and then turning to face him whilst you subconsciously tried to hide the wild flowers that you had picked for Molly.

“Yeah, well, it’s not like you had to; I only went out hunting,” you retorted, and he would raise his eyebrows, before tilting his head partially after he’d looked over at Murphy to find no animal corpses stashed upon it; you hadn’t even caught any smaller animals that you could stash within your satchel, or hang upon the side of her saddle.

“It don’t even look like you tried to catch anything,” he remarked, and you would then tense up, before lowering your gaze hastily, “what are you hiding in your right hand, Y/n? Did you catch a damn rodent, or somethin’?”

“It’s none of your business, so why should I show you?” You questioned him, and he would grimace, before making to step closer to you, and you would appear startled; he still had your gun, so you couldn’t keep him back without it, and this would prompt you to hastily reveal the flowers you’d picked, and he would appear surprised.

“Ah, I see; you went out hunting for flowers, and not animals,” he stated, and you would - appearing embarrassed - then bow your head partially again as you had tried to hunt something like they would, but of course you had to go and miserably fail, proving yourself to be what you believed yourself to be: a nothing coward who couldn’t even provide for the gang you live within, as well as Molly who you always seemed to mess up with ever since she officially got together with Dutch.

“I-.. I wanted to make it up to Molly, somehow,” you admitted dejectedly, “but-.. I don’t think she wants anything to do with me anymore, s-so-.. I guess.. if anyone wants them-”

“What? You’re just giving up?” He interjected, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and awkwardly shuffling on the spot. “You really are pathetic, if you think that what you both have between you ain’t something you should try and hold onto,” he remarked, and you would bow your head again whilst you shrugged, feeling emptier and more lost than you had ever felt before now that it had begun to feel as if you truly were losing her, this time.

“She’s probably better off without someone like me, anyway,” you mused, before glancing down at the flowers again, “you - you should have seen the look on her face; she hates me-”

“She doesn’t hate you, Y/n,” he contradicted, “she could never hate you; she loves you - she’s just upset, after earlier; she told me what happened - maybe you both should try and talk later; try and fix things before it’s too late for you to.”

You would think about it for a moment, before you nodded slowly, evidently nervous; you were terrified of what she might think of you, now, and were fearful of how she might react to your presence after you’d reacted the way you had to her and Dutch kissing earlier.

“I - I guess I could try,” you decided, and Arthur would nod, glad that you were doing the right thing, “thank you, Arthur.”

“Don’t mention it,” he replied, before making to walk away, “see you around, and keep out of trouble, okay?”

“Sure,” you responded begrudgingly, before you warily looked toward Molly and Dutch’s tent again, and would draw in a shaky breath, before you slowly began to walk toward it, Murphy grazing whilst you did, recovering from the previous ride you’d both recently returned from. Once you got close enough to do so, you would set down the flowers you’d picked for her to the left side of the tent, before you lingered for a moment, a pained expression on your face; you were desperate to see her again; desperate to hear her voice again, and that was when you could hear that they were laughing within the tent, prompting your heart to sink, before you nodded gravely, not sure what else you had been expecting to hear whilst you dragged yourself away, making to return to Murphy, until Karen, Mary-Beth, and Uncle stopped you.

“You ain’t gonna be over there with the horses all night, are you?” Karen began, and you would wince, before hesitantly turning to face her; she was sitting with Mary-Beth and Uncle by a lit campfire; it had been growing to be quite dark for a little while, now, even before you had returned from your unexpected outing.

“I don’t know; it doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me,” you answered, and she would scoff, before getting up, prompting you to tense up whilst she walked up to you, “w-why’re you asking, anyway?”

“Because you look lonely, and I think you could do with a drink,” she answered, “could you?”

You would think about it for a moment, before you warily looked toward both Mary-Beth and Uncle who were also encouraging you to join them, whilst Uncle held up a spare bottle of beer for you.

“I-.. I guess it couldn’t hurt,” you decided, before forcing a smile over at Karen, who would beam victoriously, glad that she’d managed to convince you to join them as Mary-Beth had recently confessed to her that she’d begun to develop feelings for you, prompting her to begin trying to put together a plan to get you both together, somehow, as she was unaware of your and Molly’s secret relationship, or what used to be her and your secret relationship, now that you’d messed everything up with her again.

“Damn right it won’t,” she agreed whilst she led you over to the campfire, “come on; we’ve got a few beers left with each of our names on ‘em, and I got a feeling they ain’t gonna be waiting much longer, especially not with Uncle around.”

|

It didn’t take you too long to get drunker than you should be, after you’d recently made a vow to never drink as much as you used to, and you now wished you’d never allowed the beer, as well as your soft conscience to encourage you to join them the way it had, but you couldn’t take back your choice, now.

“Who wants to play a fun game?” Karen suggested, her voice a little slurred; she was evidently drunk alongside you, and Uncle who was already half asleep.

“I’m up for it,” Mary-Beth chimed, before she timidly looked over at you, “Y/n? W-Would you maybe join us, or-?”

“I don’t know,” you answered, before warily looking around as you could feel that someone was watching you, though you weren’t sure why, and were a little more disorientated than usual, “it’s getting late-”

Karen scoffed, before shaking her head, and taking out another bottle of beer.

“It ain’t late enough,” she contradicted, “come on, Y/n, don’t be a party-pooper, and join us - here, maybe you need one more of these?”

She would then offer you the beer, and you would hesitate, a pained expression on your face whilst you thought back to Molly, prompting your heart to begin aching again, to the point that the pain was excruciating enough for you to shrug, before nodding, and accepting the beer bottle from her; it was the only way to numb yourself right now, though it never seemed to rid you of the pain that you were currently experiencing. Only Molly could rid you of the pain, but you doubted now that she’d ever wanna talk to you again after what you’d said and done earlier, leaving you feeling emptier than you ever had before, so why shouldn’t you have another beer, and hope that maybe it would kill you sooner rather than later? There was no point in you living anymore, now that you’d ruined everything with Molly again.

“Sure, why - why not?” You replied, prompting Karen to cheer, before she took out another bottle for herself, and would begin thinking up some bets she could make that would be entertaining.

“Okay, so,” she began, “I’m gonna make a bet that might surprise you guys, but you have to do it, otherwise I’m gonna have to go around and call you chickens for the rest of the night, and probably for the whole day tomorrow, so - if you value your honour, you’ll do as I say, how does that sound?”

Mary-Beth would appear wary for a moment, before she glanced over at you, wanting to do whatever you were planning on doing.

“It doesn’t sound bad to me at all,” you remarked, “I mean - I have nothing left to lose, anyway, so-..”

“Good,” Karen chimed in response, before she looked over at Mary-Beth who would then smile timidly back at her, “are you up for it too, Mary-Beth? Or are you scared of what little old me might come up with?”

“I’m up for anything, a-as long as Y/n is involved,” she stated, and you would appear surprised, before looking over at her skeptically, and she would then wince, before adding hastily: “I’d rather not participate alone, so-.. y’know. A-Anyway, what’s the bet?”

“Okay, so: I bet you both couldn’t kiss without never wanting to talk to each other again after you do - prove me wrong,” she revealed, and you would tense up, a pained expression on your face, before you bowed your head a little whilst Mary-Beth would appear flustered for a moment, stammering quietly, before she glanced timidly over at you.

“Y-Y/n?” She cooed gently, and you would wince, before glancing up at her after you’d quickly wiped away the tears that had managed to cloud your vision again; this felt wrong, so wrong, and you were terrified of what Molly might think if she saw you and Mary-Beth together, until you reminded yourself of how you’d witnessed earlier her kissing Dutch, prompting your heart to sink, and you to have to try and fight back a grimace. “Are you okay-? L-Look, if you, - if you don’t wanna do it-”

“Don’t try and dissuade her, Mary-Beth, she’s gotta do it - like I said earlier, your reputations are on the line if you don’t do what I say,” Karen reminded you both, and you would force yourself to nod, before you got up, and then crouched down before Mary-Beth whilst you reluctantly lifted your right hand up to her left cheek whilst she would begin to blush faintly, finding she couldn’t breathe for a moment whilst she admired you, and wondered if you could hear her heart pounding overwhelmingly within her chest.

“I - I ain’t scared of anything anymore,” you claimed, though there was still something you were terrified of, and that was the possibility that you might never win Molly back, now that you’d messed things up with her again due to your stupid bouts of jealousy despite you knowing that she was just doing all that she was doing with Dutch to protect you both from being harassed, or even hung; painfully being torn away from each other, somehow, one way or another, just because of your true sexualities, and the homophobic views often shared at the time. “Do you want me to do this, or-?” You inquired, not wanting to kiss her without her permission, and Mary-Beth would find herself stammering a little, her voice barely audible, before she nodded hastily, and you would manage a faint smile, before hesitantly leaning even closer to her, until you could delicately connect your lips to her own, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she melted into the kiss, and you would have to try and stop yourself from pulling away no matter how wrong it felt to be kissing her the way you were, now, instead of Molly, prompting guilt to flood your already broken heart, but you would try and hide it from them to the best of your ability, worried about what they, especially Mary-Beth, might think if she noticed the crestfallen expression that wanted to cross your face whilst you felt as if you’d betrayed Molly, no matter how small and light the kiss had been.

“T-That was-” Mary-Beth began quietly, before she would falter upon hearing Molly’s voice nearby, and that was when she noticed that Molly was storming up to the campfire, a hurt look on her face, worrying her as she wondered why Molly might be mad at you both for kissing the way you had as she was still unaware of your and her secret relationship, like all the other members of the gang, except Arthur, of course.

“Get away from her, or I swear I’ll-”

“Woah, Molly, take it easy,” Arthur interjected whilst he rushed up to her, and managed to hold her back before she could get any closer to you and Mary-Beth.

“Let me go, Arthur,” she demanded, but he wouldn’t let go, knowing that he had to try and get her to calm down, somehow, before she could lash out at either you or her.

“I think you should get some sleep, Miss O’Shea; it’s been a long day,” he advised, before looking over at you, evidently disappointed to see that you’d let yourself go so easily, allowing yourself to kiss Mary-Beth despite your commitments to Molly, though you didn’t think she’d care like she evidently did, after you’d seen and her Dutch kissing earlier, “and you - you better sleep off the alcohol, before you get into any more trouble, alright?”

He then made to lead Molly back toward her and Dutch’s tent whilst Dutch - already asleep - was unconscious within it; she’d used the drug on him again as she’d been planning on trying to fix things between you both somehow, especially when she’d noticed the flowers that you had left for her, until she had caught you and Mary-Beth kissing, prompting her to begin feeling empty the way you had earlier, whilst it felt as if things had begun to collapse within her excruciatingly; she never thought you’d do something like that to her, and wished now that she’d never begun to trust you so heavily; wished she had never fallen in love with you the way she had, just to find herself in excruciating pain following your kissing Mary-Beth as if she didn’t mean anything to you anymore just because of what had occurred between you both earlier.

“I hate you, Y/n!” She cried shakily, whilst Arthur dragged her back toward her and Dutch’s tent. “I will never forgive you for this, never!” She added, before they both disappeared into the tent, and you began to feel lost again whilst your heart ached excruciatingly alongside her own; she’d never said such things to you before, but you couldn’t blame her - how could you, after you’d allowed yourself to kiss Mary-Beth following your reminding yourself of how you’d had to witness Molly and Dutch kissing a few hours ago, now.

Mary-Beth then began to appear worried all of a sudden; her eyes wide, and glistening a little whilst she looked over at you, not sure what to think, now, following Molly’s suspicious reaction to your and her kiss.

“Y-Y/n, what - what was she talking about? Why would she react like that?” She questioned, and you would frown, before glancing up at her again with a guilty expression on your face, prompting her to falter, before she shook her head, and would then get up off of the ground to storm off back to her shelter; she couldn’t believe she’d never thought about why you and Molly seemed so close, before, and cursed herself for being so oblivious, resulting in her heart beginning to ache the way that it overwhelmingly was as a result of you basically lying to her the way that you had, making her think that maybe she’d have a chance with you, though you were already sneaking around - or had been, now - with Molly.

“Wait a minute - Y/n, are - are you-? Have you and Molly been-?” Karen questioned, evidently surprised as she hadn’t been expecting this from you, and it wasn’t because of your sexuality at all, but more because of how it was something she’d never picked up on before; she had never suspected that you and Molly were any closer than you made out to be, especially due to how Molly had been making out to be smitten with Dutch ever since they’d got together, even before she had brought you to them, and they had welcomed you into the gang.

“Not anymore,” you murmured dejectedly, and she would frown, feeling bad for bringing it up, before she winced, and remembered what Mary-Beth had recently told her, worrying her as she got up off of the ground.

“I - I better check on Mary-Beth,” she mused, and you would nod gravely, before bowing your head a little, “you should have told us before, you know that, right? She loves you; she told me, and you had to go and act like you ain’t already with someone-”

“That’s because I don’t even know what me and Molly are, anymore,” you interjected feebly, “you heard her, Karen, she hates me-”

“Yeah, well, maybe she should - see you around, maybe,” she interrupted, and you would nod gravely, before bowing your head again once she’d walked off, leaving you alone with a now snoring Uncle; she was right, you knew that, now, and hoped that - now Molly seemed to truly not want you anymore - you would stop being a burden on her, but despite you sporting this assumption, you would be surprised to find her - the next night - catching you before you could fall again following her catching you trying to take your life again after you’d drunk more than you should, leaving you feeling empty, and as if you had nothing left within you, not without Molly by your side, driving you to feel as if you should try and end everything again, for the sake of Molly, Murphy, and the others, and you would have done it this time, if you didn’t feel her arms around you when you did.

~-~

The next night, whilst everyone seemed to be busy scolding or praising Arthur for his involvement within the fight that Bill started up in Valentine, you would sneak out again to pick more wild flowers for Molly, though you doubted she’d accept them, this time, but you still wanted to leave them for her as a parting gift before you could try and take your life again. You even tied a note to them, and whilst you had been writing it, you couldn’t help, but allow small tears to leak from your eyes, and it wasn’t long before your shattered heart had begun to ache excruciatingly again.

Once you’d finished tying the flowers and note together, you warily walked up to her and Dutch’s tent, before you laid them down the same place you had last time, trying to ignore the fact that you could hear them both laughing again, but you were glad - at least - that you thought she was happy, before you lingered for a moment, a pained expression on your face; you just wished you could see her again; wished you could pour all that now remained of your heart out to her, but it was too late, now, and you guessed you just had to try and accept that as you began to drag yourself away from the tent whilst tears began to stream down your cheeks endlessly again.

“Hey.” You would falter upon hearing Arthur’s voice, before you winced, and looked back at him whilst you pat Murphy’s neck gently. “Are you off flower-hunting again? It’s probably for the best if you are, seeing as you’ve already had a few drinks recently,” he recommended, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and pulling yourself up onto Murphy’s saddle.

“Sure, Arthur,” you replied, and he would appear concerned for you, as well as skeptical as he could tell that you were still struggling, and wondered if he should maybe try and stop you from leaving, not trusting you to keep yourself safe in the state that you currently were in.

“Maybe I should come with you, make sure that you’re alright, before you come back wounded, or somethin’-”

“I’m fine out on my own,” you interjected, “but thanks, I appreciate it.”

You then encouraged Murphy to begin trotting away from him before he could further question you, or try and follow you; you couldn’t let your plan fail, this time, wanting to keep both Molly and Murphy happy - something you thought you knew they would be, without you, until she’d found the flowers you’d left her, and had been notified of your leaving by Arthur, panicking her as she hated to think of how you could easily get hurt, or try and hurt yourself whenever you were travelling outside of the camp alone, and as soon as she read the note that you had left with the flowers, it began to grow clear to her what you were planning on doing, and she couldn’t let it happen; she couldn’t lose you again.

🜚

Though Dutch had seemed skeptical at first regarding Molly wanting to go out and find you with Arthur, he knew how close you both were (well, he thought he did), so he begrudgingly decided to let her go with him, not wanting to fight with her regarding the matter, allowing her to rush after him once she’d recovered the flowers and note again away from his prying gaze, but it didn’t take them both too long to realise that they’d need more help, if they wanted to find you before it was too late for them to do so, as you were already halfway across the nearest train-track, not too far from Valentine, walking slowly over it whilst you waited for a train to come, or to reach the middle, determined that today would be the day that your plan finally worked, whether you needed a train to hit you, or not.

It was when you’d finally got half way that someone had shouted out something inaudible, prompting you to falter, before you looked back in the direction you’d just come from to find two familiar figures dismounting an also familiar looking horse, prompting you to curse quietly, before you warily inched closer to the edge of the track, staring down at the water below whilst tears began to cloud your vision again, and your legs began to shake a little beneath you; you were terrified, but you knew that this was something you had to do, so you inched even closer, preparing yourself to jump, until someone had managed to wrap their arms around your waist tightly, prompting you to cry out ‘no’ shakily whilst tears streamed down your cheeks again, and you would struggle against your restricter.

“I’m not letting you do this, Y/n,” Molly mustered up in a strained manner, her voice briefly trembling whilst her eyes glistened alongside your own, and a pained expression would cross her face; she couldn’t believe you’d tried to take your life again like that, after everything you’d both already been through together recently, “I’m not losing you again-”

“Molly-?” You whispered feebly, and she would falter upon hearing your voice, her heart skipping a beat whilst she eased you away from the edge of the train-track. “W-What are you-”

“No,” she interjected sharply, before turning you to face her whilst Arthur rushed up to you both after he’d taken a little longer to get off of his Missouri Fox Trotter than Molly had as he’d been surprised to see her jump off so quickly, as well as a little frustrated due to the way in which she’d not listened to his instruction, detailing that she should stay behind to keep safe, just in case a train decided to make an unexpected appearance. “You don’t get to ask me anything, Y/n - not until you answer my questions, you got that?” She questioned, and you would frown, before nodding hastily; you certainly owed her that much, and more, after all that had happened between you both recently. “Good,” she replied, “because you’ve still got some explaining to do-”

You both would then be interrupted by what sounded like the blaring of a train whistle, prompting you to tense up, before you warily looked toward where the noise had come from to find a fast approaching locomotive a few strides away from you both.

“Get off the tracks!” Arthur yelled, but you felt you couldn’t move for a moment, terrified, prompting Molly to falter, before she looked back at you to find that you weren’t following her, panicking her as she looked over at the train, before looking back at you, her eyes wide and full of her fear during this moment in time; she couldn’t let you get hit by it, and so she rushed back over to you, prompting Arthur to curse, before he made to try and get you both off of the tracks himself.

“Y/n, look at me,” she cooed shakily, whilst affectionately connecting her forehead to your own, prompting your heart to begin racing overwhelmingly whilst your breathing pattern seemed to grow staggered and uneven, as if you were on the verge of having a panic attack, “look at me! We have to move - you said you’d do anything for me in your note, so do this for me, please - I - I need you, I - I love ya, I-”

Reality then seemed to hit you like a ton of bricks, springing you into action as you managed to rush her off of the track, and protectively cover her whilst you both held onto one another tightly, shaking within each other’s arms whilst the train zoomed past you both.

“Damn it!” You both heard Arthur shout, before he managed to jump to the side alongside you both before the train could hit him, following his notice that you both were now no longer on the tracks the way you had been, a brief moment ago.

Once the train had gone, you both would appear to relax after a brief moment of remaining to cling to one another the way that you currently were, foreheads still connected, and fingers still clinging tightly onto each other’s clothing as if you were terrified of what might happen if you let go of one another too soon, after you’d tried to take your life again. As soon as she felt able, she would shove you away from her, prompting you to falter, a pained expression on your face whilst you watched her walking over to Arthur.

“M-Molly, wait, I-”

“Save it for when we get back,” she instructed sharply, and you would hastily shake your head, rushing after her as you wanted to try and fix things between you both after she’d - just through holding you the way she had, and through cooing sweet nothings to you to try and encourage you to move over to the side with her before the train could hit you both - reminded you of all that you still had to live for, though you’d previously thought that maybe - as she seemed to no longer want you, before - you’d already lost such will following you witnessing her and Dutch kissing, and then hearing her claim that she hated you after you had kissed Mary-Beth.

“Mol, wait, please-!” You begged, desperate, before catching her right arm within your right hand, prompting her to then turn to face you, before she freed her arm from your grasp, and would then use her left hand to slap your right cheek, not wanting to slap your left cheek as it was still healing; your scar had already begun to form, except it was still quite red, and your left eyelid was still often having to be heavy - you’d even heard talk that maybe Pearson was gonna craft an eyepatch for you, just to make it more comfortable for you, as it was overwhelming and painful for you to sometimes have the sun hit your left eye, despite it often now seeing things to be blurry, and quite dark, ever since you’d been wounded by one of the wolves that had ambushed you back in the Grizzly Mountains. You would wince, before lifting your left hand up to your right cheek, whilst she tried not to feel bad for what she’d just done, bowing her head a little whilst you cursed yourself again quietly for what you’d done yesterday to cause such a rift between you both. “I-.. I deserved that, I know, I’m so sorry, Molly, I - I love you so much, a-and I swear I - I hated every moment of what happened yesterday-”

“It didn’t look like you hated it,” she contradicted dejectedly, and you would frown, before hastily shaking your head - of course you’d hated it; it had felt so wrong, and whilst it was happening your heart was aching excruciatingly, and you couldn’t stop thinking about her - only her, and that’s why it hurt so much, and felt as wrong as it had - you were meant to be kissing her, you knew that now, even after you’d seen her kissing Dutch the same day.

“M-Molly, please-.. I-.. I can’t live without you, I just can’t, I-..” You admitted feebly, and she would hesitantly glance up at you again, a pained expression on her face whilst she wondered why she’d not tried harder to stop you, before you could gallop off on Murphy after you’d witnessed her and Dutch kiss the way you had yesterday; she doubted this would have ever even happened if she had, as she would have been able to try and remind you of her feelings for you before you could go and assume that you meant nothing to her the way you had.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should have thought about that,” she retorted, and you would fall quiet, a crestfallen expression crossing your face, before you bowed your head partially, and would nod gravely; you guessed that meant she really did not want you anymore, prompting your heart to sink again whilst you began to feel empty all over again, and she would then begin to feel guilty for reacting the way she had; she hated seeing you like this, and couldn’t allow you to go on suffering much longer, especially after you’d tried to take your life for her again, and had gone to the effort of finding more wild flowers for her the way you had earlier, before you had ‘snuck’ off again to try and rid her and Murphy of what you believed to be your burden of an existence. “But,” she began again gently, her expression softening, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before you looked up at her again hastily, your eyes glinting whilst your heart began to race again, pounding overwhelmingly against your ribcage whilst you awaited what she might next be about to tell you, “maybe I could think about forgiving you, if you answer a question for me.”

You didn’t even need to think about your answer to that suggestion, hastily nodding whilst you stammered a little, before blurting out shakily the word ‘anything’.

“M-Mol, I’d - I’d answer anything you asked me,” you added, before timidly inching closer to her, and she would have to try and fight back a soft smile whilst her eyes locked blissfully with your own, “I’d do anything for you; e-everything in my note was true - I love you, Miss O’Shea, and I always will, I promise, n-no matter what; my heart would never stop calling your name, even if you decide after today that you don’t want anything more to do with me, it will always only ever be you that I see whenever I close my eyes.”

She then found she couldn’t hold it back anymore as a strained sob escaped her lips, before she threw her arms around you, and you wouldn’t hesitate to return the embrace whilst you smiled lovingly, and would bury your face into the crook of her neck, sniffling quietly whilst you, too, fought back tears again alongside her; you never thought anyone could ever make you feel this way, before, but here you were - Molly was your Achilles heel, and you knew that if you ever lost her, that would forever be the end of you; you couldn’t live within a world in which she wasn’t by your side, and you knew you’d never even try, if you did, somehow, but you would force the thought from your mind, reminding yourself of how she was here with you, now, and you hoped that that would never change, until she decided she no longer wanted you, like you assumed she would after a little while; you’d never be good enough for her, and knew you could never truly keep her happy, so of course you doubted she’d wanna spend the rest of her life by your side, until she held you at arm’s length, and would blissfully connect her forehead to your’s again.

You both couldn’t help, but lock eyes blissfully for a moment, prompting you to forget how to breathe whilst you admired her, and couldn’t help, but smile shyly over at her whilst you lifted your right hand up to her left cheek timidly, connecting a couple or so of her freckles together subconsciously using your thumb gently, whilst she tilted her head partially, melting into your touch a little whilst she wondered why her heart was racing so fast so soon after she had initiated the embrace.

“You almost getting yourself killed,” she began again, her voice close to a whisper, and you would frown, your heart sinking a little again whilst you nodded gravely to show her that you were listening to her, “was that part of the bet that you mentioned in the note?”

“Of course not,” you answered hastily, not wanting her to think that, “Molly, I-.. I only did it, or tried to, b-because I-.. when you’re not with me, there-.. there’s nothing left for me to live for-”

“You know that’s not true, Y/n,” she contradicted, and you couldn’t help, but smile softly over at her, before you lifted your hand a little to tangle your fingers within her soft hair.

“I know,” you replied, “you tell me that all the time, but - you’re never gonna be able to convince me otherwise, Miss O’Shea, you know that, don’t you?”

“Knowing you,” she mused, “yes, I do know that, sadly, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna give up; I’ll always try and put you back together again, and I’m never going to stop, Miss L/n; I’ll fight for you until the very end, and maybe even after that, I just-.. hope we’ll see each other again, even after-.. after we-.. you know.”

“I hope so, too,” you corroborated, “but - Molly, I - I promise you - no matter what happens, wherever we might end up, and if we aren’t put there together - I will never stop looking for you, ever, because it’s you who I wanna spend eternity with, and I could never want that with anyone else, because you are my soulmate, Miss O’Shea - you always have been, and you always will be, no matter what the future might hold for us, I will always return to you, and you only.”

This only seemed to prompt her to begin to cry quietly again whilst she wrapped her arms around your waist, and would subconsciously play with your hair using her right hand like you briefly had with her’s, before this blissful moment in time.

“I love you so much, Y/n,” she whispered shakily, before she leaned forward to delicately connect her lips to your’s, and you wouldn’t hesitate to melt into the kiss whilst you clung to her as if your life depended on her being here with you, holding you the way she was, now, “just promise me something.”

“Anything,” you replied exasperatedly, “I - I wanna make you happy, Molly.”

“Promise me you - you won’t drink too much of that stuff anymore; I’m scared of what it’ll do to ya,” she admitted, her voice briefly trembling, and you would nod hastily, determined to stop for her, if it meant that you wouldn’t end up losing her again, and meant that you’d never hurt her again the way you could tell you had recently, something you still hadn’t forgiven yourself for, and knew you never would; never could, as all you wanted to do was shower her with your love, and make her happy to the best of your ability despite your fears regarding your worthiness of someone perfect, like her, “I can’t lose ya, Y/n, I - I just can’t, I-”

You would shake your head hastily again, before you leaned forward again to gently connect your lips to her own, silencing her, and leaving her with a dazed expression on her face whilst she smiled softly against your lips, and wondered if you could tell that she had so easily begun to blush as a result of your gentle touches, and soft kisses.

“You’re never gonna lose me, Mol; I’m gonna try and stop drinking for you, I promise, b-because I value my love for you and Murphy more than I could ever value anything else,” you reassured her, and she would then appear puzzled, realising she’d not seen Murphy yet, on her and Arthur’s way here, worrying her as she knew it would hurt you to lose Murphy, especially now that you’d come to your senses again following your being blissfully reunited with Molly. You would then appear concerned, wondering why her demeanour had changed so suddenly, worrying you as you wondered if something you had said had upset her, when you could not be more wrong. “Molly-? What - What’s wrong? Did - Did I say something-? I’m so sorry, I - I didn’t mean to upset you - what did I do? Tell me what I did, and I promise I’ll try and fix it, I swear; I love you-”

“No, Y/n, it - it’s not you, I just realised something,” she reassured you hastily, not wanting you to think that you’d done something to upset her; she didn’t want you to panic over possibly losing her again like you had thought you had, before she’d saved you a few moments ago, and confessed to still being in love with you despite all that had happened between you both recently, “it’s Murphy - where is she?”

|

You all then regrouped, and met up with Charles who they had recruited to help them find you, with you riding on the back of Charles’ horse, and Molly riding on the back of Arthur’s, but despite your searching, you ended up having to return to camp with no Murphy, and a newfound heavy heart; you couldn’t believe you’d messed up so badly, letting her run off the way you could tell she must have, considering she was no longer where you had left her, before.

“We’re gonna find her, Y/n,” Arthur stated, after Molly had helped you off of his horse, but you found you couldn’t even respond to him, scoffing, before you dragged yourself away from him, and Molly would smile apologetically back at him, before she rushed off after you, worried about you.

“Y/n, wait-”

“I - I’m fine, okay?” You interjected feebly, and she would falter, a pained expression on her face, before she nodded gravely.

“I know, I just - I was wondering if maybe you’d want me to stay with ya, tonight - I’m sure Dutch wouldn’t mind, i-if I tell him about - you know - what happened today?” She suggested, and you would appear surprised; you didn’t think she’d want to stay with you under the shelter you often slept within, and of course you couldn’t say ‘no’, managing a feeble smile, before you nodded timidly, and would shyly then avert your gaze whilst blood began to rush to your cheeks; she always knew how to make you feel okay again, as if you’d not previously been in pain, before, though you’d never stop blaming yourself for Murphy’s disappearance; you couldn’t, as you’d been the one to leave her where she was, being in the drunk state that you had previously been in at the time.

“I don’t deserve you, Molly,” you mused, and she would frown, a pained expression on her face, before she wrapped her arms around you, and would try and provide comfort to you by rubbing your back using her right hand, and you wouldn’t hesitate to melt into her embrace whilst you clung to her, and couldn’t hold it back anymore as you began to cry quietly again, strained sobs escaping your lips, sounding out muffled against her neck, prompting her heart to ache excruciatingly, before she delicately kissed your forehead, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before you lifted your right hand up to the back of her head to tangle your fingers within her hair again.

“What are you talking about? You more than deserve me, Miss L/n,” she contradicted gently, and you would try not to protest, knowing that by doing so you would upset her, so instead you stayed quiet for a moment whilst you tried to recompose yourself, knowing you should try and stay strong for her, somehow, “come - I’m gonna talk to Dutch, and then we’ll go and cuddle up together, alright?”

“Mol, w-wait,” you strained out, and she would fall quiet, before turning to face you again, and nodding whilst she smiled encouragingly over at you to show you that she was listening to you, “you - you know I love you, right?”

“Of course I do,” she reassured you, before intertwining the fingers of her left hand blissfully with the fingers of your right hand, prompting you to smile lovingly over at her whilst you revelled in how it felt to have your fingers intertwined with her own again, “why?”

“I - I don’t know, I just - I guess I just wanted to make sure that you knew,” you explained, “y-you do so much for me, a-and I want you to - to always know that - that I appreciate everything that you do for me, a-and always will, no matter what, I promise; you’re everything to me, Molly O’Shea.”

She then couldn’t help, but smile warmly over at you whilst her eyes began to glint again in the best way possible, before she held your free hand within her’s, and would blissfully lock eyes with you, prompting you to forget how to breathe so easily whilst you both admired one another for a moment, amazed by each other, and how you seemed to have done something to be worthy of one another despite the fact that you often doubted your aforementioned worthiness to receive love from someone as perfect as you both saw each other, and had always; would always see each other to be, no matter what the future might have in store for you.

“I’m glad,” she replied, “because you are everything to me, too, Miss L/n - now, what do you say? Do ya wanna cuddle up with me under the shelter, or go somewhere a little more private?”

|

That same night, you found yourself having a nightmare about her, before you woke up crying quietly within her arms, and clinging to her whilst you buried your face into the crook of her neck, until you began to feel guilty, knowing that you might wake her up soon if you stayed there with her in a state like this, prompting you to carefully remove yourself from her embrace, before you got up off of the ground, and would drag yourself hastily toward one of the boxes of beer; you needed something to try and stabilise yourself, wanting to hide your pain from her to the best of your ability, and that’s why you managed to drink a full bottle of beer, before Molly had begun to stir.

🜸

As soon as she had begun to wake up with a now empty space beside her, Sadie still lying down a couple or so paces away as you had been sharing the shelter with her recently; you’d given up the tent that Molly had got Dutch to arrange for you back in Blackwater, knowing it would be unfair for you to go on using it whilst the others - excluding John and of course Molly, and Dutch - were using shelters like the one you had previously been under, she would yawn, and stretch, before using her right hand to feel if you were still there beside her.

Once she had felt that you were gone from her side, she would begin to panic, hastily sitting up whilst she looked around, before getting up whilst she tried to recompose herself; the pounding of her heart, and staggered breathing pattern, leaving her feeling disorientated whilst she felt lost and empty with every passing moment she found you no longer within her arms.

“A-Are you looking for Y/n?” Mary-Beth asked, and Molly would falter upon hearing her voice, before she looked over in her direction; she was stood a couple or so paces away from her, and must have been awake for a while as she looked exhausted, as if she had been having no luck sleeping under the shelter that she had been within, next to the one you and Molly had been previously sleeping in, before you’d woken up from the nightmare, and had quietly rushed off to get yourself an alcoholic beverage.

“W-Why? Did you see where she went?” She inquired, her eyes then widening a little whilst she appeared hopeful, and tried to stop her voice from trembling the way it briefly had, and Mary-Beth would then nod hastily, before smiling reassuringly over at her.

“She went that way,” she answered, before gesticulating in the direction that she’d seen you go in using her left hand, and Molly would muster up an exasperated ‘thank you’, before she made to rush off after you, until Mary-Beth spoke up again. “Molly, wait,” she began once more feebly, as well as timidly, and Molly would then falter, before she half-turned to face her again, appearing nervous about what Mary-Beth might be about to tell her, or ask her, after you and she had recently kissed to save your honours following Karen’s bet for you to do so, and remain to be able to talk to each other after you had done so. “I’m-.. I’m sorry,” she expressed, and Molly would frown, before nodding gravely whilst she bowed her head a little in response to her, “the kiss meant nothing, I swear, it was just-”

“A bet,” Molly finished for her, and Mary-Beth would appear surprised; she didn’t realise that you’d already told her about the bet, before she nodded again, and smiled reassuringly over at her, “I know it was, now, but - I appreciate it, Miss Gaskill - thank you.”

“N-No problem,” Mary-Beth returned, “so - we’re still friends, aren’t we? Y-You wouldn’t mind if we were?”

“Of course I don’t mind,” she reassured her, and Mary-Beth would express relief, before she beamed over at Molly, glad that she hadn’t lost you both, though it still pained her to be reminded that she could never have with you what you shared with Molly, “I was overreacting, anyway, I - I see that now; I should have given you and Y/n time to explain, and I’m - I’m sorry - really, I am.”

“No, it - it’s okay,” Mary-Beth hastily reassured, “I’m just - glad we’re back to normal, now - a-anyway, I - I’ll let you get on; I can see you’re worried about Y/n, a-and I don’t wanna hold you up - see you around?”

“Sure - See you tomorrow; I’ll go and see what Y/n’s got herself into, now,” Molly returned, before she managed a faint smile back at Mary-Beth, and would then continue in the direction she had been previously guided toward, desperate to find you, and make sure that you were okay, especially after Murphy’s disappearance, and your trying to take your life again, only stopping once she had noticed you sunk heavily against the alcohol box you’d recently taken a spare bottle of beer out of. The sight of you in the state that you were currently in would prompt her so easily to falter, a pained expression on her face whilst her heart began to ache excruciatingly again; she couldn’t believe you’d already broken your promise regarding you not drinking as much anymore, and though it pained her to think that maybe she didn’t mean enough to you to get you to stop, she couldn’t leave you like this, hastily rushing up to you, before she crouched down in front of you, and subconsciously examined you to make sure that you were okay. “Y-Y/n-?” She strained out, her voice briefly trembling whilst she held you at arm’s length. “Say something, Y/n, please,” she begged, “I - I need to know that you’re okay, just - just say something for me-”

“I - I thought-..” You mustered up in a voice close to a shaky whisper, and she would frown, before trying to provide comfort and encouragement to you by cradling your trembling body close to her own, and you wouldn’t hesitate to cling to her whilst you affectionately connected your forehead to her own, and would revel in being within her arms again whilst you admired her blissfully for a moment, before you managed to recompose yourself, and continue. “I thought I lost you, Miss O’Shea,” you managed, and she would appear taken aback, wondering why you’d think something like that, until she guessed that maybe you’d had a nightmare, prompting her heart to sink, and she to feel a little guilty upon realising that that must be the reason why you’d had another beer, as if you believed it would help you deal with the pain, somehow.

“Why would you think something like that? Did ya have another nightmare?” She questioned gently whilst she stroked your hair using her right hand, and you would frown, before nodding gravely whilst you bowed your head a little. “Do ya wanna talk about it, or-?” She inquired, and you would wince, before hastily shaking your head; you didn’t want to have to relive the events of it; didn’t want to have to recall how you’d seen her get shot down, before you ran up to her, and desperately tried to wake her up, only to excruciatingly receive no response from her.

“I’m scared, Molly,” you admitted shakily, and she would frown, before nodding gravely whilst she lifted her left hand up to your right cheek, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst you melted into her touch, and began to feel warm and fuzzy all of a sudden, as if you’d not been in pain before.

“There’s nothing for you to be scared of, I promise,” she cooed, “you’re safe, Y/n; we both are, as long as we stay here together with the others-”

“No,” you whined, and she would fall quiet, surprised by your reaction, “Molly, I - we can’t stay here-”

“Why not? Y/n, this is where we belong, now,” she reminded you, “and the law can’t get to us as long as we stick together; a-as long as we follow Dutch, no matter how much it hurts us both to have to live the way that we are.”

“T-That’s not the point, Mol,” you contradicted exasperatedly, desperate to try and get her to return to Old Trail Rise with you after the nightmare you’d experienced a brief moment ago, “if we stay here, we’re only gonna lose each other again; someone’s gonna separate us, a-and I don’t know how, but - but I can feel it; we have to go back; Molly, if - if I lose you-”

“You aren’t gonna lose me, Y/n,” she insisted, “look, you’re - you’re tired, and it’s probably the alcohol talking through ya, at this point; you need to sleep this off-”

“But-”

“Come on - let’s get ya back to bed, shall we?” She continued, before she carefully helped you off of the ground, but before she could, you would manage to step back before she could guide you back toward the shelter, prompting her to falter, before she glanced back at you, a pained expression on her face whilst she wondered why you were so certain that something bad like that would happen after you’d already recently got drunk, and now had already had another beer after you’d awoken from the nightmare you’d had to endure not too long ago, now.

“Molly, please, you - you have to listen to me; I can’t lose you-”

“I don’t have to listen to you,” she interjected, “especially not when you’re like this; you promised me that you’d stop drinking, Y/n, o-or that you’d only stick to one or two drinks, and I wouldn’t mind if the empty bottle down there was the only one you had today, but it wasn’t, was it? You had more earlier, too, didn’t ya?”

You would then falter, realising, a pained expression on your face whilst you subconsciously shook your head; you couldn’t believe you’d already messed up again, prompting your heart to sink, and grow heavy whilst you bowed your head slightly, wondering why she was still here with you; why she’d not rejected you earlier like you believed now - especially - she should have, instead of continuing to waste her time on you, and being burdened by you like you could tell that she was, though she’d never dare admit it, or even think as much as she knew it would hurt you, as well as herself, to ever think something like that about you, also finding herself worrying occasionally that maybe she was a burden on you, sometimes, though you could also never think something like that about her, either; she would forever remain to be perfect in your eyes, like how she knew that you would always be perfect within her own, no matter what the future might have in store for you both.

“Mol, I-.. I’m so-”

“It’s fine, Y/n,” she claimed, whilst you grimaced, and shook your head faintly; it wasn’t fine, you knew that, and you’d never stop hating and cursing yourself for being the way that you were, especially whenever you ended up hurting the way you could tell you had recently as a result of your jealousies and anxieties which you believed to be nothing, but petty, whenever you experienced them, “I value your happiness over mine, anyway, so it’s a good thing I at least kept, and am still keeping all my promises, right?”

“I - I’ll be better for you, I swear, I - I love you, Molly, I - I can change for you,” you expressed, certain that you could, and she would appear surprised, evidently not expecting you to be so willing to try and change for her, “p-please just - just stay with me, and I swear I’ll - I’ll make things right again, b-because I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you; I need you, Miss O’Shea, m-more than I could ever need, or desire anything else, just please don’t-..” Your voice would then fail you as a strained sob managed to escape your lips, prompting Molly’s heart to sink whilst she timidly inched closer to you, her expression softening, and eyes glinting a little upon hearing you pour your heart out to her the way you just had to the best of your ability. “Don’t give up on me yet,” you managed, your voice trembling briefly whilst your now glistening eyes blissfully locked with her’s in the best way possible, “h-hold onto me, and tell me you love me, only if I’m still what you want, b-but - i-if you don’t want me anymore-”

Molly then found she couldn’t hold herself back anymore as she wrapped her arms around your waist, before she delicately connected her lips to your’s, silencing you instantly whilst you melted into the kiss, and couldn’t help, but smile against her lips blissfully; nothing had ever felt so perfect before, and you still couldn’t believe how every kiss you both shared seemed to always be just as perfect, or even more perfect and magical than the first you’d both ever administered to one another.

“I’ll always want you, Miss L/n,” she cooed gently, her voice close to a whisper, whilst she affectionately connected her forehead to your own, and would lift her left hand up to your right cheek, prompting you to smile lovingly over at her whilst you melted into her touch again, feeling warm and fuzzy, and as if you might soon begin to blush profusely if you both stayed like this for much longer, though the likely possibility of the moment ending soon prompted your heart to sink whenever you were reminded of how you both would never be able to stay like this no matter how much you longed to, “and nothing could ever change the way I feel for you, n-not even the world somehow ending could stop me from loving ya, but - Y/n, I - I don’t want you to change the way that you are, I just-.. I’m worried about ya; if you keep on drinking the way that you are, now-”

“I - I know, Mol,” you admitted apologetically, “but - I’m gonna try harder, this time, I swear, I - it’s just-..”

She would then smile sadly back at you, before she nodded gravely, and would lean forward to delicately press a kiss to your forehead, whilst you couldn’t help, but wonder, again, what it was that you had done to deserve someone as perfect, caring, and understanding as her.

“I know it’s hard, Y/n,” she corroborated, “but - I don’t want you to feel as if you have to rush yourself into anything, s-so don’t worry about ever losing me, b-because I’m gonna wait for ya; I’ll always wait for ya, because I love ya, a-and it could only ever be you for me, a-and even if we do somehow get separated somehow - which we won’t - I’ll never stop waiting for ya, no matter what.”

You would then smile softly over at her, before you delicately connected your lips to her own whilst you both held one another close, and would melt into each other’s embraces once more.

“I love you so much,” you whispered a little shakily whilst you tried to fight back the tears that were clouding your vision, and she would couldn’t help, but smile warmly over at you, before she used the thumb of her right hand to delicately brush away the small tears that had already managed to escape your eyes.

“I love you, too, my beloved Y/n L/n,” she returned gently to fluster you, prompting your heart to skip a beat again whilst it raced overwhelmingly in the best way possible alongside her own, “now - d’you think you could try and get some more sleep for me, or w-would you maybe be up to doing something else?”

You would raise your eyebrows a little, before smirking, and tilting your head partially whilst you wondered what else she might have in mind.

“That depends,” you answered, “what do you feel like doing?”

It was then Molly’s turn to appear flustered as she tried to recompose herself; she could tell that you already knew what she might wanna do with you due to you both finding it harder to sneak around together recently, the way you could a little easier back in the gang’s old camp up in the Grizzly Mountains, Colter. You would grin over at her upon noticing that she’d already begun to blush a little faintly, despite her trying to hide it by looking anywhere, but directly at you for a moment, until she felt able to answer your question without stammering.

“I’m up for anything, as long as it’s with you,” she admitted, and that was all the convincing you needed to make up your mind.

“I’m glad,” you remarked suggestively, before intertwining blissfully the fingers of your right hand with the fingers of her left one, “b-because I’m up for anything as long as I get to do it with you, too, s-so - would - would you maybe like to - like to go on a little walk with me down to our spot on the other side of the river?”

She would then beam back at you, before nodding timidly whilst she eagerly anticipated what you both might do together, before the sun could come back up, and temporarily separate you both again.

“I think I’d like that,” she answered, and you would appear elated, as well as relieved as you had been worried that maybe she would reject your suggestion, before you leaned forward to gently kiss her left cheek, flustering her even more whilst you began to walk slowly with her toward the secret way in which you both often used to sneak out of the camp unnoticed by those who sometimes guarded the outside of it from lawmen, or any potential other gangs (specifically the O’Driscolls), until you both then could blissfully race each other down to the river, before Molly managed to catch you, and then playfully lower you down onto the ground so she could pin you down beneath her, allowing her to tease you at first by tickling you though she’d made it seem as if she had been going to do something else, before she began to passionately, as well as still gently kiss you a brief moment after you’d both blissfully locked eyes following your surrendering to her tickling, and giving up of your win of the race you’d both made up on the way down here, deeming this moment to be the beginning of your and her next secret heated session, until the sun had sadly begun to rise whilst you both had been cuddling up together following your and her bouts of fooling around until you were both tired, and sore, but you were determined to keep trying to meet up like this somehow, no matter what tomorrow might have in store for you.

🜸🜚🜸

As usual, whilst Arthur, Bill, and Kieran were out hunting Colm O’Driscoll - assuming he was at Six Point Cabin up in Cumberland Forest - Dutch was still in camp, meaning you and Molly had to wait until later to meet up again, knowing that you’d only create more suspicion if you hung around one another for too long; you both found it too hard to not kiss each other, and that was particularly dangerous, if you wanted to keep one another safe from being possibly harassed by the other members of the gang who hadn’t already put two-and-two together regarding your and her relationship, or maybe even hung if one of them went so far as to turn you into the law due to your (widely opposed at the time) sexualities.

So far, you were managing to avoid the tempting box of beers as well as whiskey, wanting to stay true to the promise you’d made Molly to the best of your ability, for fear of upsetting her, and losing her again, if you lost control of yourself, and messed everything up like you had been recently, until yesterday’s blissful as well as fateful events. However, seeing the hitching post that Murphy usually was tied to unoccupied only made things harder for you to bear, prompting you to wish that you could seek comfort from Molly, knowing that she would be able to temporarily rid you of the pain caused by your animal companion’s absence, until Arthur and Charles hopefully managed to find her eventually, somehow.

Your heart then sank a little; it wasn’t guaranteed that you’d get Murphy back, so you’d have to replace the word ‘until’ with an ‘if’, only leaving you feeling even emptier, and more lost than you had ever felt before whilst you were heavily leaning against the post, and trying to ease the painful sensation with thoughts of Molly, and your and her secret session last night, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to smile softly subconsciously - how would you ever get by without her?

“Rough night, huh?” You would falter, and tense up, upon hearing Mary-Beth’s voice, prompting you to wince, before you awkwardly smiled up at her thinly.

“How’d you know?” You inquired, and she would raise her eyebrows, before gesticulating to your slightly messier than usual hair, prompting you to appear embarrassed, before you tried to make it appear neater than it previously was.

“Thought you’d wanna know,” she remarked, and you would nod, before mustering up your thanks, and awkwardly shuffling on the spot whilst you warily looked around, and would express relief following your notice that Molly wasn’t watching; she was most likely either inside the tent, or around the back of it, “so - y-you and Molly-..”

She began again timidly, prompting you to nod again whilst you lit a cigarette, and would lean against the hitching post again, wondering why you could feel Murphy nuzzling at the back of your head, and right shoulder though she wasn’t there behind you, anymore.

“Y-Yeah,” you corroborated, “me and Molly.”

Mary-Beth would then avert her gaze for a moment whilst she found herself having to try and fight back a sad smile, taking a brief moment to recompose herself, before she glanced back at you when she felt able to do so.

“How long have you both been together? O-Or - I don’t know - been seeing each other?” She inquired, and you would think about it for a moment; it had been at least a few years, now, surely, which still surprised you sometimes as you often found yourself believing that you and Molly had already known each other for an entire blissful lifetime.

“A - A few years, I guess,” you answered, “w-why?”

“Sorry, I-.. I was just curious,” she explained, and you would realise, before nodding to show that you understood whilst you took another drag of your cigarette, avoiding eye contact with her to the best of your ability. Mary-Beth would then sigh heavily, before she timidly stepped closer to you, prompting you to tense up again, before you looked toward Dutch and Molly’s tent, but luckily she still wasn’t there watching you both; you couldn’t risk hurting her again, as you knew you’d never be able to forgive yourself if you upset her like you had with Mary-Beth last time, as well as knew that you’d never be able to get by without her if you lost her again due to her suspecting there being anything more going on between you and her, when an assumption like that could not be more wrong than it already was. “Please tell me it ain’t gonna be like this between us all the time, now,” she requested, and you would frown, evidently beginning to feel guilty for the way in which you had been acting with her following your and her having to kiss due to Karen’s bet ordering you both to do so, “I - I can’t lose you as a friend, Y/n, you-..” She would then draw in a barely audible shaky breath, before she stepped back again, and would shake her head gravely; she doubted things would ever go back to the way that they were, now, no matter how much she wished they could, missing all the conversations you both used to have back in Blackwater, as well as in the Grizzly Mountains. “Forget it - I-.. I’ll see you around; h-have a nice rest of the day,” she concluded, before making to walk away, but you would hastily shake your head, before you spoke up, and would timidly step closer to her, not wanting her to leave thinking that things would never go back to the way that they were before, between you both.

“Mary-Beth, wait,” you mustered, and she would then appear surprised, before looking back at you, and smiling shyly over at you whilst she nodded to show you that she was listening to you, “l-look, I-.. I’m sorry, for-.. for what happened yesterday, I-.. I should have told you about me and Molly, I know, but-”

“No, Y/n, it - it’s okay,” she reassured hastily, not wanting you to feel as if you had to apologise to her for the previous day’s occurrences, though you’d never stop blaming yourself for it, knowing you could have stopped it from happening by refusing to partake within Karen’s game, “I should be apologising to you-”

“That’s not true,” you contradicted, “I could have stopped it from happening, b-but I didn’t-”

“Y/n-”

“You’re never gonna convince me otherwise, Mary-Beth, so maybe you should give up,” you advised, and she would fall quiet, prompting you to feel guilty again; you’d not intended to snap at her like that, “I-.. I’m so sorry, I - I didn’t mean to - to snap at you like that, I swear, I just-”

“No - Don’t apologise, it’s okay,” she interjected gently, “Y/n, you - you have the right to snap at me, or anyone else, I mean; I’d be upset if my horse went missing, too, and you have to see Molly and Dutch together all the time, I mean-.. You’re taking on a lot right now, so if you ever wanna talk about anything-..” She would then gently as well as comfortingly lift her right hand up to your left shoulder, prompting you to tense up again, before you faltered upon noticing that Molly was now stood in front of the tent, Dutch talking to her about god knows what, and she was looking directly at you both, until she noticed you looking at her, prompting her to hastily look away, before she forced a smile over at Dutch as if she had been listening to him the whole time, instead of looking over at you. “You know where I am,” she concluded, before she removed her hand from your shoulder, smiled warmly over at you, and then waved after you’d absentmindedly replied ‘thank you’ in response to her, prompting her to then push herself to walk away from you though she had been enjoying your company.

You would then sigh heavily, before you leaned against the hitching post again, and would then take one more drag of your cigarette, before you stamped it out, and began to wait for an opportunity to talk to Molly, wanting to make sure that she was okay, after you’d noticed her watching you and Mary-Beth talking, and as soon as one was presented to you, when she actually made a move herself, passing by you, and gesticulating for you to join her, of course you had to follow her, and you were - as always - immensely glad that you did, after you so willingly had.

🜚

As soon as you noticed her waiting for you by one of the trees surrounding you both, you would meander around them to sneak up on her, before you quietly approached her once you had successfully got behind her without being noticed by her, wrapping your arms around her waist once you’d got close enough, prompting her to jump, before she subconsciously melted into your embrace following her feeling you delicately pressing your lips blissfully to the right side of her neck; she’d recognise the feel and shape of your lips anywhere.

“I was worried you wouldn’t come,” she admitted timidly, and you would frown, before glancing up at her whilst she rested her head upon your left shoulder in the best way possible, allowing you to rest your chin upon the top of her head whilst a soft smile began to play on your lips again, “I just-.. wanted to check on ya, I guess; I miss ya, Y/n.”

“I miss you, too,” you returned, “I-.. I always miss you, Molly, but I know that’s not the only reason why you wanted to see me.”

She would then tense up in response to your assumption, a pained expression on her face, before she bowed her head a little to try and hide her face from you, not wanting you to see that you were right; that she had been made a little jealous by seeing you and Mary-Beth talking the way you were, whilst she had been talking to Dutch, and felt as if she then couldn’t approach you and check up on you for fear of someone trying to hurt you both if they suspected either of you of being homosexuals, and had disagreeable views that led to them harassing you, or turning you into the law to be hung, the way that you could be if you both weren’t careful.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she contradicted, and wondered if she should move away from you, but she found she couldn’t, feeling much too comfortable, warm, and safe within your embrace to move.

“I saw you, Mol,” you began a little playfully, “whilst me and Mary-Beth were talking; you were watching-”

Molly would scoff, as if she was still trying to deny it, whilst you grinned over at her, and would raise your eyebrows a little, evidently amused, as well as flattered as you never thought someone could be made jealous by you talking to one of your other friends.

“You’re crazy if you really think I was watching ya - why would I be bothered by you and Miss Gaskill talking, anyway? She’s - She’s just a friend,” she reminded herself subconsciously, and you would nod in agreement with her, before you affectionately connected your forehead to her own whilst you smiled lovingly over at her, and would lift your right hand up to her left cheek, prompting her to melt into your touch whilst you both locked eyes blissfully for a moment, until you spoke up to tease her about it again, finding her reactions adorable, prompting you to want to fluster her even more somehow, until you knew you should stop.

“It’s killing you, isn’t it? Seeing us still talking?” You remarked, whilst your eyes glinted mischievously, prompting her to grunt, before she pushed herself to escape from your embrace, prompting your heart to sink a little in response to her action, and your loss of physical contact with her.

“I don’t know why you’d think so,” she uttered, “o-or why you might even care if it was ‘killing’ me-”

You would appear perplexed by her response after you’d dropped your teasing her, before you timidly inched closer to her whilst she was now turned away from you again, her head bowed a little, prompting you to feel guilty for your earlier behaviour with her; you’d not intended to upset her - of course you hadn’t; you’d just wanted to try and fluster her again, and make her smile her usual magical and adorable smiles that you often saw before, and valued more than you could ever value the stars in the sky; everything about her seemed to shine brighter than they ever could, anyway, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst blood seemed to begin to rush to your cheeks. Shit - you’d not intended to fluster yourself so easily just by thinking about her, and all the moments she’d ever smiled over at you the way she often did blissfully.

“What are you talking about? Of course I’d care, Molly,” you expressed once you’d managed to recompose yourself, prompting her to hesitantly glance back at you, her eyes glinting a little once they’d locked with your’s again in the best way possible, only making your heart begin to pound more overwhelmingly than it had been, before, “I love you, and I don’t want you to feel as if there’s anything you have to get jealous about, o-or worry about, because it could only ever be you for me - you’re my soulmate, and I knew that the very day my gaze was blessed enough to be greeted by your presence.” Molly wanted to admit to the same feeling regarding you, but she found she couldn’t, the words stuck in her throat whilst tears began to cloud her vision again, and a lump began to form within her throat alongside the trapped words she wished she could share, whilst her face began to heat up a little the way it tended to whenever she found herself on the verge of breaking down during moments like these that she shared with you, and hoped to only ever share with you, and never anyone else, no matter what the future might have in store for you both. “Miss O’Shea,” you began again a little exasperatedly, your voice close to a whisper, before you held both of her hands in your’s, whilst she tried to fight back her tears to the best of her ability, “you know you can trust me, right? T-That - no matter what the universe tries to do to separate us, you will never lose me?”

She would then appear crestfallen, before bowing her head a little again after she’d hastily averted her gaze once her tears had been shocked out of her eyes following her realisation that nothing was stopping her from possibly losing you, somehow, though she had used to believe that maybe you both would always be safe together when you were both younger, and secretly smitten with each other at the time, though neither of you had ever thought that maybe the ties between you was the love that seemed to hold you both together, until your feelings for one another grew stronger as you matured more alongside each other.

“H-How can you be so sure that we’ll always be together? Y/n, we-.. we aren’t even allowed to be anything more than friends-”

“I’m sure because I will always fight for you, Molly,” you explained, your voice briefly trembling a little whilst you did, prompting her expression to soften, before she looked up at you again, and allowed her gaze to lock with your’s, “always; I love you, and I need by you by my side, you - you’re everything to me, and I could only ever want to spend my life tending to you; your needs, always, over mine, because I can’t lose you, Mol, I just can’t-!” To provide comfort to you to, as she could see that you needed it, she would soothe you by holding both of your hands in her’s, before she affectionately connected her forehead to your own whilst small tears continuously seemed to roll down her cheeks. “I love you, Miss O’Shea,” you repeated in a voice close to a shaky whisper whilst you, too, were verging on breaking down alongside her, “and that’s why I know that - as long as I’m with you - there will never be anything left in the world to part us, until you decide that - like you should - you deserve better than me, because you do-”

“No, Y/n, I don’t,” she contradicted, wishing you’d stop putting yourself down like that as she hated to see you upset like she could tell that you were, lifting her left hand up to your right cheek to brush away one of the tears that had managed to escape your eyes, “no one could ever be better for me, than you; I could never love anyone else as much as I love ya - you know that, don’t ya? I need you here with me, and only you, to make me happy, and because you’re set on only entertaining my needs, I’m gonna make sure I’m forever only set on your’s - race me down to the riverbank? Dutch won’t find out, I promise.”

You forgot how hard it was to fight back a smirk whilst you pretended to think about it for a moment, prompting her to pout whilst you giggled softly, and wrapped blissfully your arms around her waist whilst you couldn’t help, but wonder again, what exactly it was that you had done to deserve someone so perfect, compared to the nothing you had always, and would always view yourself to be.

“I don’t know,” you claimed playfully whilst you grinned sheepishly over at her, prompting her to raise her eyebrows whilst a mischievous glint seemed to form within the most beautiful eyes you had ever been so blessed to meet, and occasionally wake up to, “I’m tired of running - maybe you’ll have to carry me, then, if you want to play around with me again?”

Molly then couldn’t help, but grin whilst she shrugged, before making to pick you up, prompting you to squeak, and giggle uncontrollably again whilst you clung to her shoulders blissfully, and revelled within the moment, being so close to her again like you were, now, in the best way possible.

“Carrying you down there it is,” she remarked, and you would then timidly lean up closer to her to delicately connect your lips to her’s, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she subconsciously began to smile against your lips, begrudgingly ending the kiss before it could grow to be too heated for you both to make it down to the riverbank, like you usually did, knowing that you had lesser chance of being caught down there than anywhere closer, or further away from the camp. “Miss L/n,” she began again playfully, prompting you to smirk up at her again whilst your eyes glinted alongside her own, “you’re desperate, today; do you think you’ll be able to make it down to the riverbank, or not?”

“As much as I’d love to stay and fool around with you here,” you began sadly, “I think we’d be better off by the water, so I’ll try my best to behave for you, but I can’t make any promises to not lose control of myself along the way.”

“Good,” she replied suggestively, “I’m glad, because I can’t make you any promises to not lose control of myself either.”

You then affectionately connected your forehead to her own again, whilst you tried to fight back the urge you were experiencing to passionately kiss her, your lips dangerously close to her own whilst you both admired one another like you couldn’t help, but always do whenever you were close to one another like you were, now.

“Then maybe we shouldn’t hold back so soon,” you decided, whilst trying to convince yourself that you both would be hidden well enough on the ground; that you were far away enough from the camp perhaps already though not as far as you usually were, by the riverbank, “m-maybe we’ll just lose, anyway, on the way down, in a more - open space.”

Molly would hesitate, evidently nervous whilst she thought about your suggestion for a moment, before she grinned over at you sheepishly.

“You’re right; maybe we should stay here,” she agreed, and you would express relief, appearing elated, before a dazed expression crossed your face whilst she teased you by brushing her lips against your own, “you’re full of nothing, but good ideas - aren’t ya, Miss L/n?”

“Yeah, well, you’re full of the best ones,” you returned, your voice close to a whisper whilst it trembled briefly following Molly’s lowering you back down, before she gently pinned you slightly to the tree behind you, “you’ve always been full of the best ideas, Molly O’Shea.” She then smirked over at you, flattered, before she slowly lowered your trousers and pants, and would then lower herself before you, before the fun began, and ended again with the setting of the sun, when you both knew that you had to return to the camp, no matter how much you longed to remain alone together, until you both could see one another again the following day, still hopeful that maybe one day would bring you both the freedom together that you felt you deserved, but there were still times that you excruciatingly doubted that things would ever get better for you both, no matter how blissful they seemed to be during moments like these.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

[joysmercer]

post-season 3

Terri will freely admit that she wasn’t overly enthusiastic about her daughter suddenly deciding (with less than a month’s notice) to spend two weeks of summer at a camp run by her boyfriend and otherwise minimal adult supervision. Yes, a lot of it was because she (selfishly) wanted her daughter to spend that time with her after not being together for half a year, but she was also concerned on a more general level: across the country with no cell phones? The summer before her junior year? Terri would much rather she stay home, focus on SAT prep if anything, and prepare for her future—not go to some theatre workshop where she’s unlikely to learn anything of value. 

It did help to find out that Gina has been cast as the lead in the first-ever stage production of a wildly popular Disney movie and will also be starring in the associated documentary. This is a novel experience, can go on her college apps and résumé, and really, who is she to judge when all expenses are paid in exchange for signing a few release forms? 

Still, she misses the days she could hear about each rehearsal straight from the source instead of random teasers dropped on the Disney+ twitter account, and she especially hates that she has to work and miss Gina’s big debut. By the time intermission is called on the livestream, Terri (ever-so-grateful for the weekend off) is already en-route to California. 

Terri pulls into the Shallow Lake parking lot and spots Gina immediately among the throng of campers checking out and saying their goodbyes. She’s grown at least an inch, Terri realizes with a jolt. Gina is nearly seventeen now, on the brink of adulthood, and the way she’s carrying herself now demonstrates a demeanor entirely different from the teenager she’d dropped off at MSY just a few months ago. Why does time always move so fast with these kids? 

Gina whips around as soon as Terri slams the car door shut, as if she was able to hear it from all the way across the yard, letting out a loud squeal of delight that sends Terri’s heart melting before launching herself straight into her mother’s arms. Terri is instantly reminded of a five-year-old Gina doing the exact same thing at kindergarten pickup.

“Hey, sweet pea,” she whispers, returning her daughter’s tight hug. Some things never change. 

“Mom? What are you even doing here? I thought you were closing on the house? Oh my god, I had no idea—"

“I finished all that yesterday, and since I have a free weekend, I thought we could take a mother-daughter road-trip back home – just like old times.” While their last few moves had been too far apart to drive, she and Gina used to spent nearly every school holiday or long weekend transporting their lives across state lines while eating their fill of fast food and pancakes, touring random obscure roadside attractions, and making some of their fondest memories. 

Gina beams. “I’d love that,” she says, bouncing on her heels excitedly. “I finished packing, actually, so I just need to take care of one thing real quick and we can head out.”

Then she smiles big and wide again, an expression she saves for truly special occasions (like, apparently, 10 hours with her mother in a car), and quickly kisses Terri’s cheek. “Love you, mommy. Be back in a bit.” 

Gina sprints off in the direction of, according to a nearby sign, a “Yurt Locker”. Strange name, Terri thinks. She doesn’t have a chance muse on it (or what the hell it even means) further, though, because someone bellows GENEVIEVE MARIE! so loudly that both Gina and Terri, now at least 20 feet apart, jump at the sound. 

The source of the voice appears a second later—or at least Terri assumes that’s who the curly-haired boy with a shit-eating grin on his face now standing in front of Gina is, given her daughter’s currently crossed arms, flushed cheeks, and, surprisingly, equally playful smile. Terri eyes the boy curiously. Gina doesn’t give out her full name to just anyone and rarely allows anyone to use it (Terri can’t remember the last time she herself even said the word Genevieve, let alone added her middle name to the mix). But Gina seems entirely unfazed now, as if having this boy yell it for all to hear is a regular occurrence. Who is he?

Then she notices the acoustic guitar he’s clutching, and it hits her. Kristoff: Ricky Bowen.

It had been a while since Gina had mentioned Ricky in their weekly FaceTimes. His name had only ever come up in relation to Ashlen’s role of Belle in the spring musical, and even then, it was mostly to complain about his two left feet. If it weren’t for a panicked text conversation on Valentine’s Day (Gina’s teddy bear got lost in transit, long story), Terri would have entirely forgotten about him.

Clearly, not only has his dancing greatly improved this summer (if yesterday was any evidence), but so has his friendship with her daughter.  

Ricky pulls out a set of keys and gestures to the parking lot, fanning his face with his free hand, and that’s when Terri realizes he’s wearing…a pink-and-blue snowsuit. Gina laughs and rolls her eyes at him, clearly teasing him about his ridiculous attire for an LA summer, but when he says something else, Gina suddenly shakes her head, pointing straight at Terri. 

Terri gives a small wave to the kids, and Ricky immediately waves back excitedly.  Okay, then. 

Turning back to Gina, Ricky says something else and Gina smiles shyly and nods. Terri watches as the pair hugs goodbye, a motion that is simultaneously so natural neither think twice about it—falling into a tight embrace that nearly lifts Gina off the ground—but so awkward when they separate that Terri can feel the tension from all the way over here. Okay, then, indeed. 

Ricky meanders toward the bright orange bug almost double-parked in the last slot of the lot. Terri recognizes the car from her driveway last fall – but also remembers Gina mentioning that Ashlen’s boyfriend also drives an orange bug that the three of them and EJ would carpool to school in, leaving Terri to wonder which possibility is weirder: that Ricky and his friend got matching ugly vehicles together, or that Ricky transported his friend’s car across state lines for two weeks and his friend actually agreed to it. 

There isn’t much she knows about Ricky Bowen, actually, except that he has an apparent penchant for nabbing lead roles out from under everyone else’s noses and—surprisingly—actually justifying those casting choices. Gina’s scene partners are often so dry she has to work double-time to make the chemistry believable. Last night, however, Ricky showed a level of talent that nearly matched her own daughter’s in the way he was able to hold the audience captive even without Gina on stage with him. There was one solo of his in particular that had actually caught Terri’s attention (she had taken the opportunity to answer some emails) when, right at the end, he suddenly directed the final line of the song away from the audience and into the wings: you’re what I know about love, he sang, straight to Ana. Straight to Gina. It was not only a genius move but one she doubted he was directed to do—he must have come up with it himself. 

Still, something about him sets Terri on edge. Questionable decisions (seriously, snowsuit?) aside, he has the demeanor of a class clown, someone who stays while it’s fun but bolts when things get hard. It makes Terri uneasy, especially since it’s clear that this is someone Gina cares deeply about. 

“Sorry about that.” Gina’s back, suitcases in hand, shaking Terri out of her reverie. “I had to tell Ricky I didn’t need a ride first.” 

“Oh, I thought EJ was giving you a ride home,” Terri says, taking one of the suitcases from Gina. 

A tense silence. “Mom, I told you we broke up, remember?” 

“I know, sweetheart,” Terri quickly assures her. Gina had called early yesterday morning from Kourtney’s phone, relating the news with a quick “it was a long time coming, we’re still friends, prom was super fun otherwise, see you soon” and hanging up before Terri could even get an I’m sorry out. “I just assumed you’d keep the same arrangement since Ashlen and your other friends are there, too.” She winces. “I see how silly that sounds out loud, though.” 

“Yeah.” More silence. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Terri asks gently. 

Gina shakes her head no emphatically. “I told you, it wasn’t really a surprise. I’m fine.”

“Okay, okay, got the hint.” Terri laughs, sighing internally with relief when Gina gives her a (albeit watery) smile. She opens the car trunk and shoves the suitcase inside.

“So, why was Ricky wearing a snowsuit?” Terri asks as they settle in and buckle up, unable to keep the question to herself any longer. 

“Oh, he wasn’t supposed to be at camp at all, and showed up without a ton of clothes, so he mostly borrowed from others I think, and got pizza all over his laundry yesterday, too.” she giggles slightly, then continues, “plus the guys dumped ice water on themselves last night and he put is wet towel on top of his open suitcase, like an idiot.” She says all this with the nonchalance of someone explaining 1+1=2, not…whatever she just said about sudden enrollment, pizza, and ice water. 

“That doesn’t explain the snowsuit,” Terri says, now even more confused. 

“Rumor has it he was supposed to go skiing with his ex? he didn’t say, though." Gina shrugs. 

“that girl Jamie’s working with?” 

“No.” Gina doesn’t elaborate. 

“Well, regardless, he’s very talented,” Terri supplies. “I did enjoy that one ballad of his yesterday, the one with the guitar and lights.” 

“Oh.” Gina smiles softly, almost to herself. “I liked that one too.” 

Terri’s stomach twists, like they’re about to go barreling off a cliff they can’t see and can’t stop. 

“Is he doing the fall musical as well?”

“I dunno. Probably. It’s his senior year, he won’t have many more chances.” 

“I didn’t realize he’s a year ahead of you,” Terri says, surprised. “How are his college apps coming along?”

“Mom,” Gina groans. “It’s literally summer vacation, and believe it or not, I didn’t ask. He probably hasn’t even started thinking about them yet.” 

“Fair,” Terri says, although, internally, she disagrees. if Ricky were truly serious about his future, he would have had his summer plans set in place long ago, and a solid school list by now. 

I can tell you like him, Gigi, she thinks. And then, suddenly, I wish you didn’t. 

It’s a strange thought, and a foreign one—Gina has yet to make a friend that Terri straight-up disapproves of.  What Ricky does with his life is really none of her business, and Gina’s a smart girl—she won’t go rushing into poor decisions even if her friends are walking bundles of chaos. Plus, from the little she’s seen, it’s clear he cares about Gina, too. Maybe as much as she does him. 

But Gina in a relationship is…different. Gina in a relationship was more carefree, a little less focused. She begged to go to prom despite having an exam the next Monday, she shifted her summer plans around for a camp she showed no interest in before, and she prioritized FaceTimes and texting every night over reading or sleeping. there were no lasting negative repercussions for any of this, but if there was ever a time for Gina to conserve her extra energy for something worthwhile, it’s now. 

Ricky a good friend, Terri decides. As friends, he keeps her grounded—but anything more than that? She’s just not sure. 

[miniherodesktales]

TW: This oneshot is about the Cat's parents and negative attitudes to disablity. I'm worried I've written something badly, so please let me know.

Day 14: Nicknames

We were left behind. We didn't have a choice in this. They told me I'm worthless; they told him he was too foolish. They said they didn't want my youngest son. They said they didn't need us.

They asked me what good is a cat with only one leg?

They demanded to know how he would cope?

They laughed at my son.

I laughed right back in their faces.

I'm a mother, wife, and dancer. I will not let them define me. I will not let them drag me down into their stupidity. We will rise above them. I think we're better off right where we are.

I teach him how to move with grace and power. We both teach him how to survive with style.

'By the grace of Cloister, you'll go far in life,' I tell my son. 'Remember no one is without value, everyone is important.'

We are stronger than their labels.

***

Some years later, the Cat senses a change in Rimmer. Since he read that letter from his mom his routine no longer existed. Normally he was always so busy being bossy and annoying, but now he spends his time lying in his bunk sleeping or watching TV. He barely talks anymore.

The Cat doesn't like this. Humans were supposed to be reliable and consistent. They weren't supposed to change. How dare he? Wasn't he irritating enough already? If Rimmer only had one redeeming quality it was his ability to stick to a timetable.

What bothers the Cat the most is that Rimmer no longer does his daily physio. Those exercises were designed to help holograms maintain their limited sense of proprioception in body that was weightless and unable to feel. If he didn't stick to the program he was at risk of not being able to move at all. As far as the Cat could tell Rimmer hadn't even so much as glanced at the diagrams taped above the mirror in days.

Cat didn't fully understand why it bothered him so much, but it did.

'Gotta move it or lose it,' he heard his mother's voice say. He remembered her saying it as she made adjustments to her prosthetic leg. She danced everyday. She walked. She ran. She scrambled up and down the air vents.

What was Rimmer's excuse apart from self-doubt? The dude needed a healthy dose of confidence.

In true feline style Cat decided that he would simply harass him back to normalcy.

'Getupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgeupgeupgetuogetup,' chanted the Cat as he bounced up and down on Rimmer's bunk, while Rimmer was still lying in it. The Cat took great pleasure in bouncing right through his torso.

'Leave me alone.'

'Getupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgeupgeupgetup!'

'Stop it!'

'Getupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgetupgeupgeupgetup!'

'I'm warning you!'

Sensing victory was near the Cat bounced highly and chanted louder:

'GETUPGETUPGETUPGETUP!GGGEEEEETTTTTUUUPPPP!'

'ARGH! Fine! Just stop - just shut up! Please! I'm getting up.'

Rimmer slipped from his bunk to the floor. He reached for the edge of the sink to haul himself up, but his hand ghosted through the metal panelling. In a panic he succeeded on his second attempt but Cat could still see the alarm on his face.

'I'm getting weaker,' Rimmer said, his face pale as he stared at his hands.

'Do your exercises, bud,' the Cat warned. 'Or I'll be back, you know what I'm saying? Move it or lose it. YYEEOOOOWWWWLL!'

And he glided effortlessly out of the room.

'It's 4AM!' Lister shouted after him.

[violadiaries]

Fluffcember Day 5: Northern Lights

@fluff-cember

Fandom: Tensura

Pairing: Guy Crimson x Leon Cromwell

Crossposted on AO3 (chapter 6)

Blues and Greens, mixing together in a fervent play or colours. Leon watched the scene, a sigh drawing past his lips. He was waiting for Guy to come back, after having been invited by him once again. And once again actually taking him up on the invitation. Sometimes it was nice for him to get out. Especially now, that the most imminent danger to his country was gone, and he actually knew Chloe was here in this world as well. And she was safe at that. While it had broken his heart a little bit that she seemed to want nothing to do with him, was a different thing all together. He wouldn't dwell on it, at the same time it didn't mean he had to like it.

Leon shook his head, turning his attention to the sight in front of him again. How many evenings had he spend in his childhood, wondering if he would ever see something like this for himself. When now he was just one call away, from being able to. He just needed to visit Guy in his castle, and would be able to watch the northern lights for as long as he wanted to.

"I'm back, my bad, my bad. I should've told Ramiris to not bother me for a while."

Leon hummed and nodded, looking to his side, when Guy stopped there. Holding out a glass of wine to him. Leon accepted it readily, swaying it in his hand for a moment, watching the liquid move within the glass. He placed it on his lips, taking a sip, letting out a content sigh at the taste. Leon did wonder why Guy had invited him on a whim like this. When on the main continent things were about to get very, very heated. And surely Guy would want to watch he whole thing unfold.

It wasn't as if Leon wasn't glad about the distraction from his own thoughts. From his own worries and everything else. And whenever Guy didn't decide to get too touchy in front of others, he was nice company to have.

"Why did you call me here?" Leon asked.

He couldn't help but suspect that Guy had some sort of ulterior motive behind his invitation. That something was going on, which Leon was not getting. Especially, whenever Guy would just be calm about his visits. And not make a grand scene out of it. Which he liked to do often enough as well.

Parading Leon in front of his subordinates, as if he was some sort of prize Guy had won. Only for Leon to push him away, denying him any and all advances. Leon was willing to call Guy his friend, but sometimes he just got on his nerves.

"Do I need a reason to invite you, Leon?" Guy asked.

He smiled, not that predatory smirk Leon had gotten more than used to, nor a confident grin, when everything went exactly to how he had planned it. Just a simple smile before he let out a chuckle, as Leon raised an eyebrow.

"You seemed so agitated. And for some reason, you always calm down whenever I invite you up here. Not to my lower balcony, not to anywhere else in my castle. But up here," Guy said.

Leon blinked at the scenery in front of him, before he slowly turned to face Guy, staring at him. Still smiling, though now not looking at him anymore. Was he embarrassed, that he had actually noticed something like that about Leon?

Leon himself was more shocked about how very out of character that was for Guy. Though he sometimes would just drop bombs like that one Leon, and expect him to take it at face value. Which, granted, he most of the time did. Seeing as most of the time, he just had neither the energy, nor the drive to actually say something about it. But this was somehow different. All the times Guy had invited him at random, calling him up to the upper balcony and then just existing there with him for a while. A place where they actually always were alone. Velzard didn't come up here and Misery or Rain would, if they accompanied him here, stop at the door and then leave. Unlike every other time, where either or both of them would hover around Guy. Or where Velzard would pop out of nowhere whenever she wished to,

Not when they spend time on the upper balcony. Where the view over the northern continent was the best Leon could possibly imagine. Where he could watch the lights, and scenery in front of him, letting it calm himself. Always perfectly tempered as well, whenever he was here. So he wouldn't need to bother with any skills or magic to compensate for the lack of heat.

And those invitation had always come very coincidentally whenever Leon had been a little bit more wired than usual. Whenever something had gone wrong too many times, or something had worried him for a prolonged amount of time. Whenever he just couldn't find rest within his own castle. Yet at the same time his pride wouldn't allow him to reach out to someone else.

Leon took a deep breath and turned his attention to the view in front of him again. He knew Guy did monitor him to some extent, but he never would have guessed he would use whatever knowledge he gained to…comfort him?

"I…thank you…I guess," Leon mumbled.

He quickly took a sip of his wine, just to push down any unwanted emotions wanting to bubble up within him. Something about Guy's tone had sounded genuine enough as well, that Leon didn't suspect any other motives. He just wanted to cheer him up sometimes. Which was something friends did. Even if it did cause warmth to spread within Leon, whenever Guy did or said something unexpected like this.

And they were friends. Something Leon somehow always needed to remind himself of. He had gained Guy's respect and friendship by proving himself to the older being. By impressing him with his strength and mind and what not else, he always went on about.

"Don't mention it. Though I do wonder why you like the view here so much. When there are much more beautiful things out there," Guy said.

His voice dropped into an almost whisper by the end. Leon barely catching on to his last sentence, and definitely not noticing the way Guy was looking directly at him, as he was saying it. Leon's attention had returned to the lights, the natural phenomenon in front of him.

"Aurora Borealis. The northern lights are always a sight to behold. When I was a child, before stumbling into this world, I would dream of seeing them for myself one day," Leon admitted.

Back then those thoughts had seemed like a mere wish at best. Unattainable and just the dreams of a neglected boy. Wanting to see the beauty in the world. He supposed it was why this sight calmed him down, as Guy said it. Not that he had noticed himself, that it was like it. Though, thinking about it, he did feel lighter after those particular visits. More relaxed.

"Back then I would have never imagined being able to," he added.

Leon's voice dropped lower, though not enough for Guy to not hear him. He closed his eyes for a moment, not minding when Guy got slightly closer to him. Close enough to invade his personal space. Right now Leon couldn't find himself to mind particularly much.

Yet, as often as Guy did that anyways, Leon had long gotten used to it. Just like Guy had gotten used to Leon pushing him away in certain situations. Which didn't mean he would give up trying anytime soon. Not until he could call Leon his.

"You'll get used to it pretty quickly. Unlike other views," Guy whispered.

Leon opened his eyes again, turning his head to look at Guy. Their faces were too close, closer than Leon had expected it. Guy still looking directly at him, not once turning his face to the view in front of them. Focused solely on Leon and nothing else.

And now Leon saw it as well, and let out a long sigh. Even though he couldn't suppress the smile making it's way onto his face. He would have to admit to himself, that that was a first. A clever first at that.

"How many idiots have fallen for that?" Leon asked.

He turned his head to the front again, drinking a sip of his wine. The smile stayed on his face though, as Guy laughed and leaned against him, letting his head rest on Leon's shoulder. Sneaking an arm around Leon's waist while he was at it, bringing them so much closer.

"Aw~, none who have noticed it unfortunately. Though it did take you some time, Leon," Guy said.

Leon let out a sigh and shook his head. He had not expected Guy to try his flirting with him like this. Yet at the same time he should have. It was Leon's own fault for not expecting it, and just going along with what Guy was saying. While at the same time, he knew full well, that Guy wouldn't dismiss his little confession just so easily. No matter how much he was despising weakness, more often than not did Leon find that it was only him saying that sort of stuff. And never acting on it.

Leon slapped the top of Guy's hand with his free one, when it wanted to wander to places it definitely was not welcome. Guy's hand was barely welcome on Leon's waist, though he supposed as long as he didn't try anything else, he would be able to endure it,

"I guess I can give you points for trying, Guy," Leon said.

It had caught him off guard momentarily. And if he was a lesser man, or more impressionable it might have even flattered him. Thus it had been a good try on Guy's part. Not good enough to work, but a good try.

Guy laughed again, snapping his fingers, taking his hand from Leon's waist momentarily, so both of their glasses refilled themselves without the need of anyone disturbing their peace. Also a welcome try of him to keep Leon's attention solely on himself. Sometimes those more possessive traits of Guy, didn't even bother Leon, as much as he welcomed them.

"So I'll get a kiss then? As consolation prize?" Guy asked.

Leon rolled his eyes and shook his head. As if Guy wouldn't steal his fair share of kisses from him, without Leon being able to react in time. Even if he should be able to react in time.

"No," Leon said.

Guy whined at that, though didn't push his luck any further. Leon looked over at him from the corner of his eyes. He had called him here to cheer him up. And Leon really didn't like having any unpaid debts open. Especially to someone like Guy. Not that Guy would likely view it as a debt, but Leon did. Because now that he had mentioned he had deliberately done it to distract him from any bothering thoughts, the thought was there. That Leon owed him for this. Letting out a sigh, he turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to Guy's temple.

"That's for cheering me up…I guess," he mumbled.

Leon turned his attention to the view immediately again, hiding his mouth behind his glass, ignoring the way Guy's posture straightened at once, while still keeping his arm around Leon's waist. The silence between them was uncomfortable for a while to say the least. Before Guy chuckled and let his head fall onto Leon's shoulder again. A small smile settled on Leon's lips at that, though he sure hoped Guy would not look up to see it. He didn't need to give him any fuel to tease him with, after all.

"Just know, you're always welcome to come here if you get to stressed, Leon, no strings attached. I mean it, no need for compensation."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting upset over a sims game?

Some context. I (25nb, then 22f) used to have a very close friend (them 20f). I moved in with her and her family for the first few months of the pandemic, because she had a lot of mental health problems that she needed support for that her family didn't understand, and I was just discovering that I was queer and didn't want to be at home with homophobic parents. During this time, she suggested I share my sims 4 game with her. I didn't have a computer that could run it, and she did, and I accepted because it would give me a chance to play it. My understanding of it was that I owned it and was sharing it with her, and I believe now, in retrospect, her understanding was that we both owned it. It didn't take long before she started convincing me to spend money going in on buying expansion packs with her. I wasn't sure at first, because I didn't have a lot of money, but eventually I caved.

We always got packs she wanted, because (in her words) I would "like anything we got". At one point, she realized one of the packs was incompatible with her computer, and I was the one who had to spend days on EA support pages trying to get a refund. She did nothing to help, and kept telling me to stand my ground until we got it. Eventually we did get the refund, and since it was for a whole package of expansion packs as a part of a deal, she decided she wanted to switch out some of the packs, even though I really was looking forward to playing one of them and hadn't gotten the chance to (she had played through everything you could do with the pack already).

After I moved back home, she told me I could come over and play it at any point, but that never happened. She continued to play it though, in her own time.

In early 2021, I got an email (since the account was set up by me) saying that a new pack had been purchased. I knew immediately my friend had bought it, without asking me. I texted her asking if she wanted me to forward her the receipt, since she keeps good track of her budget, and she said yes. I forwarded it to her, and thought that was the end of that.

The next day, I woke up to a text asking for full ownership of the sims, saying she was the only one who played it anyways, and she was spending more money on it, so it wouldn't be fair to share it. She told me I could either buy her out, or she could buy me out. I wasn't happy with this and wanted the game, but a) I couldn't afford it, and b) I felt it would come off as petty if I asked for a game I couldn't even play, like I was just doing it to keep it from her. Anyways, I let her pay me back (which she did in squishmallows of equivalent value).

After a few days, the whole situation was still not sitting well with me. There were a lot of other issues going on (we were in conflict for other reasons that I have realized are mostly due to her being controlling and me reaching my limit, and her not being able to handle my limit. I don't want to rush out all her shit because I will offer her that privacy), but we had always had open communication where we could bring up when things were bothering us, and I told her that it kind of felt like I didn't have a say in giving up ownership of the sims game for reasons a) and b) above, and how originally it had been mine and it felt like through all the pack purchases and things, she was slowly taking it from me. She flipped out, and told me we couldn't be friends anymore. (Like I said, I think it was less of this particular issue, and more the other shit going on with this being the last straw). We haven't spoken since.

I have made my peace knowing that I am not the asshole in most of how our friendship ended (and how she had been pretty controlling of me), and have recognized areas where I may have been the asshole, or at the very least may not have handled the situation at their best in ways that had hurt her, but this is something I have not been able to work out. So AITA for being upset about the sims game situation?

What are these acronyms?

[love-toxin]

I’ve been thinking about bimbo!steve. Such a good boy. Especially imagining him in the fruity four. He’d been so needy all day, wanting to help out with the housework even when it wasn’t his turn, tugging on your clothes as he asked for a bit of attention, even when you were talking to Robin or Eddie, and then cuddling with you on the couch, just hiding his whole face away into your neck and whining. You knew that whine. “Hey. Does my baby need some time together?” You ask, feeling Steve stiffen beside you in two ways, before nodding into your shoulder.

You lead him upstairs, making sure to hold his warm hand, and press him gently into the mattress. Getting on top and riding him, so your poor boy didn’t have to do any work. “Poor baby. Been needing me all day huh? I’m sorry I didn’t give you attention earlier, it’s okay.” Shushing him as you don’t move, you just cockwarm him for a little while, knowing he needed it. Especially as he thanks you while gripping onto your hips for dear life.

Eddie comes into your room and even Nancy, and you say “babes, our big strong guy here needed some help relaxing” and Steve melts as Eddie and Nancy don’t tease, but both soothe him, shushing his little whimpers when your hips twitch, stroking back his hair from his flushed face, giving loving pecks all to him as they remind him how good their ‘Stevie’ is and how he deserves a little treat, even Robin calls up saying she has water and Steve’s favourite snack ready for him later.

And with that you tell Steve whatever he says, you two will do. Except you dont get any verbal commands, you know Steve’s a bit too tired for it, he just wants to be ridden, he wants to not have to ask permission to stuff his face between your soft breasts, to be able to cum as soon as he needs, and have you milk it out of him. And so so importantly, to be able to make you cum, and moan his name as he watches that wave of pleasure overcome you. To make you feel so good, be use of him :’)

His favourite is when you fall against his chest, cuddling him, but his cock still twitching inside you. Plugging you with his cum, so just maybe it takes. Until he gets too sensitive, which you’re always the best at picking up on, and you stroke his hair and pull those big muscles around you as you feed him water and kiss away those tears of pleasure as you tell him just how good he is

I NEED THIS!!!! HOLY LORD!!!

(cws: fruity four, bimbo!steve, f!angelface, riding, unprotected sex, praise kink, rimming [m/m])

good god. the image of sweet Stevie just being needy alone is so delicious--when he goes to work, he's the average Steve that everyone knows and loves. he's a protector and a big brother and responsible, he's someone everybody can rely on and he works so hard because inside, he wants people to praise him and acknowledge that he's a strong person. if he's never gonna be the brightest, then he wants to be known and valued as someone who never gives up.

but many times, when he's in the safety of his home and he's with the people he loves, he relinquishes that side of him in favour of being completely at ease. he's kinda afraid that his friends will make fun of him for being dumb, even if it's not malicious, so he reserves it all until he's in a place where he knows that everyone knows his boundaries. weekends like this are a good time for him to get into that little headspace he has, when he can spend the day pattering after you and tugging on you for your attention. cause it makes him feel warm, and safe.

but there's that other effect you also have on him. the one that makes his tummy all fluttery and his cheeks flush red as he starts to sweat, when he noses into your shoulder as you sit on the couch together until you smile and take him upstairs to the bedroom. honestly, he's so worn out from the week he's left behind him, the weight sinks down on his body as soon as his back hits the mattress, and all he can do is whine as you strip his clothes off him and peel his boxers down to get a look at that pretty, flushed cock that's just straining for some more attention.

he doesn't have to say anything, and that's what he loves about you. you just climb on up and drop your comfy shorts off the side of the bed, pull Eddie's baggy Metallica shirt up and over your head, and ease yourself down on his cock with nothing separating you anymore--you know what he needs, and you're so gentle to ease him in, just letting him sit inside you all warm and sweet and kiss all over his face until he whimpers and you feel him twitching inside you, and then you finally start fucking him so good his brain just melts. swirling your hips and touching yourself as you ride him, moaning and whispering his name when you dip down so he knows that he's the one doing this to you. you don't even notice the door opening for Eddie and Nancy to slip in, too wrapped up in reminding Stevie that he's such a good boy, making such a pretty face, gonna make me cum big boy, as you're cresting over your first release and soaking his lap with arousal as you shake and grip his thighs behind you with a tremoring string of gasps.

but when they do make themselves known, they just want to pitch in. he's soon got both of them curled up on either side, warming his body and crooning such sweet praises into his ears for his mind to go numb, all while stroking his chest and his arms and letting him just ride out those waves of pleasure with no restraint. when you finally lift yourself off and you think he's as done as you are, he only takes about ten minutes to rest, though, before he's needy again. pawing at your other two partners who are all worked up themselves from watching, turning his head for kisses and letting all three of you see him growing rock hard again in the open air, like he wasn't just ridden so much he's left you full and leaking with his cum. you would offer to keep going but you're so tired, and Eddie guides you to take his spot in the crook of Steve's arm as he and Nancy get up and strip each other down.

from there, it's obvious that this night is gonna be Steve's. Eddie lifts his knees up and bends them to keep them steady as his head disappears between his thighs, and your sweet boyfriend's hips are already jerking at the feel of Eddie's tongue as Nancy sits herself right where you were, and giggles softly at how she can feel how warm and wet you left him for her to share. it's so much easier to slide down on his cock when he's so slick already, and yet his balls still feel so full squished against Eddie's face as he teases his rim into submitting to his fingers. it's just gonna be a long, slow, fun night for your Stevie--even though he's destined to last much longer than all three of you combined.

[stardust-3saders]

LiaTaro (mostly Jotaro focused) Headcanons!

I've been wanting to post some more bits of writing, more when it comes to the behavior of the poly and some personal headcanons I have.

Big thanks to my friend @magthemage for the help with these! I don't oftenly see people do it, but talking with someone who doesn't have a character (in this case Jotaro) as F/o helps a lot to brainstorm while staying away from it becoming oof XD

Anyway! Here they are! I don't think there's anything to tag as warning, just a bit of Jotaro's PTSD but nothing else, so dw!

Under the cut because they're kinda lengthy!

Tag list: @spookysinner45 @iceicewifey

Lemme know if you want to be added by answering this form! 💜

Let's put straight a fact that, sadly, a lot of people seem to forget: Intimacy is hard. Especially with characters that were written during the 80s boom of the hypermasculinity trope.

There are three distinct characteristics associated with the hypermasculine personality: the view of violence as manly, the perception of danger as exciting and sensational, and callous behavior toward women and a regard toward emotional displays as feminine.

Something quite fitting for Kujo Jotaro. And when it came to him joining Lia and Noriaki's relationship, this was a recurring issue.

Not having a healthy model that showed him the kind of affection it was normal to share with a partner since Sadao was rarely around, his personality and factors such as his PTSD after Egypt; things had a rough start.

Yet, something that we know defines Jotaro, is how he doesn't like the idea of giving up, even when it comes to something he isn't used to.

So in order to get to a healthy and understanding point in their relationship, Lia had to spend a lot of time, effort, and probably have an ulcer removed, to try to get Jotaro to a point where he's a bit more able to express his feelings without him feeling like he has failed himself.

It's not like Jotaro doesn't feel, but rather that he can't express things normally, or it would go against his core values.

⭐One of the first things that Lia managed to establish was a different way to communicate. Because saying "I love you" just made Jotaro feel weak and vulnerable, Lia proposed an alternative: for him to squeeze her hand twice. Same meaning, but without forcing him into an uncomfortable position.

It was like Jotaro had seen the moon for the first time in years.

What started with him trying that just before sleep, and with Lia answering in kind, turned to him grabbing Lia's hand and squeezing over the smallest things. As a compliment to a thank you, as a random gesture, or just her being close.

It had been a long evening. With Noriaki being not only the last to arrive home, but also having returned absolutely exhausted; the usual chores shared by the trio were left in charge of Lia and Jotaro.

Unlike their usual routine, this time there was a heavy–although not uncomfortable– silence between the pair.

Still, as efficient as always, anything left to clean and put away in the kitchen was soon finished.

Lazily, the couple walked towards their respective bedrooms (Kujo having one of his own to avoid stepping over his boundaries and keeping the steady process of him feeling more comfortable). However, as Lia finished bidding him goodnight with a yawn, she felt herself being stopped by a bigger hand grabbing onto hers.

“Jojo?” She looked up at him, her head tilted in confusion as she noticed how he tried to avoid her gaze.

Yet, before she could call out to him again, she felt his hand gently squeezing hers twice.

Being the first time he had used this way of showing affection, she couldn't stop her mouth from opening slightly in surprise.

Barely catching sight of blush on his face due to the lack of light, her face softened.

She squeezed his hand in return with a soft smile directed to the man, finally letting go and allowing each other to retreat to their rooms for the night.

⭐While Jotaro was incapable of outwardly expressing his affection with words, Lia noticed that he normally roamed towards silent actions, kind of expecting her to understand them.

Examples of this were when she normally complained that her children were being absolute brats and making the class more difficult to handle, Jotaro would just reply "わかった" (got it) and stop communication, only for Lia to arrive home with Jotaro having actually gone out of his way to purchase food from a local mom-and-pop shop on the way home.

While he normally doesn't expect to be thanked for it, every time Lia does, he simply turns around, pulls his cap down and mutter an "...うん", busying himself with anything else available nearby just so Lia doesn't catch him making a silly smile.

⭐We know that due to his PTSD, Jotaro has a hard time sleeping almost every night. He normally tosses and turns, and sometimes hits things in his sleep, another reason he normally waits for Lia and Noriaki to be asleep for him to move to his room.

But sometimes Lia finds him sitting in the middle of the night on the balcony, cigarette in hand, trying to calm his nerves.

And being aware of his silent nature, and how easily it is for him to instantly return to his shell; she simply sits next to him, waiting for him to show any sign of him wanting a physical interaction like touching her hand or thanking her for being there.

That's when she knows she can try to physically reassure him, with little things like caressing his back, leaning against him or even let him rest his head on her thighs, something he absolutely adores doing, but is ashamed to do when Nori is awake and around... or when anyone else can see him.

And if her touch doesn't feel enough, she'll even goof around a bit, just like the few times they actually talked in the past while alone. Not as annoying as she used to be, but still enough as to get his mind distracted from whatever is troubling him those nights.

January was never an easy month.

Despite bad memories being left in the past, the seasonal drop in mood always brought back a bad taste in everyone's mouth.

A taste of bile and blood.

Being well accustomed to the weight at her sides during the night, it wasn't strange for Lia to be woken up as soon as her mind noticed the empty spot on the bed.

It was a routine event at this point. The memories of that night affected Jotaro more than often to anyone. Because, while Noriaki had also been in a pretty bad situation that almost cost his life, the difference was that the redhead actually knew how to reach out for help. And after many years of therapy, he was able to ground himself better.

For Jotaro, on the other hand, it was as if any progress he had made through the years suddenly disappeared. He hid himself away from others, resorting to smoking, although it was a habit he had been trying to quit.

And having gone through the same situation quite a couple of times before, Lia knew exactly where to find him.

Quickly going to grab some water from the kitchen, she went to the balcony, finding Kujo seated on the floor of the balcony, lazily dangling a cigarette between his fingers as his leg anxiously bounced up and down.

Frowning as her gaze landed on him, she knocked softly on the door frame, letting him know about her arrival without startling him.

With the dim light that the moon provided him, she barely caught a glimpse of him looking at her by the corner of his eye. This, accompanied by the motion of his leg stopping, was enough to let her know that he was aware of her presence at his side.

In slow movements, she sat down at his side, leaving enough space between their bodies to avoid touching him before he felt comfortable and calm enough. She placed the glass in the space between them, a small smile forming on her lips as she saw him take it, slowly taking a sip from it before placing it back down.

The pair spent a few minutes in silence, bashing in the soft sounds of the night. Yet, Lia couldn’t help but to scrunch her nose as the smoke from his cigarette reached her and tickled her throat, threatening to make her cough.

Noticing this, the raven frowned, letting out a tired sigh as he put out the lit cigarette.

“You didn’t have to do that, y’know?” Lia frowned at him, removing a hand that she unconsciously had moved to cover her nose and mouth.

“You don’t like it”

She let out a sigh, hugging her legs against her chest and resting her head on her knees before directing her gaze towards him.

“It’s true that I don’t like it… and that I wish you used a healthier alternative to calm down. But I can’t force you to stop doing it.”

Jotaro raised a brow at her, incredulous of what she had said after she spent so many times reprimanding him for the smell of tobacco and the smoke.

“You still bitch about it” He said, his tone having a hint of playfulness rather than annoyance.

“It's not bitching, it's giving you advice!” she frowned as she heard him scoff lightly. “I mean it!”

She turned in place, her body fully facing him as she sat cross legged at his side.

“It's as if one day I arrived and told you and Nori that I'm gonna drop everything to become, I don't know… an idol. You cannot forbid me from doing it, but you can give me advice about how bad of an idea that is.”

He looked at Lia for a few seconds, his brow still raised as he processed her words, before letting out a sigh as he crossed his arms, looking back to the city.

“Yeah, because you suck at singing”

Lia could only frown at his words, a small pout forming on her lips as she glared at him.

“I'm going to take that as you understanding my point rather than trying to attack me”

She turned back to her original sitting position, lightly and playfully bumping into him as she leaned against his arm.

Still, a small smile formed on her lips as she heard the faintest chuckle coming from him, noticing how he seemed more relaxed than when she arrived.

She looked up at him for a moment, making Jotaro look down at her as he felt Lia's gaze on him, a questioning look on his face.

“We’re not going anywhere, and you're not going to end up alone. Please keep that in mind.”

Just as Lia finished speaking, she noticed a glimpse of something in his eyes. A mix of surprise and something else…

Yet, before she could even mention it, her sight went black, and soon enough she noticed his cap somehow on her head, blocking her view.

“When did you even-?”

“Shut up”

Ah, that tone. For someone random, it would sound like the same monotonous tone he always had, but she could easily distinguish the light embarrassment it hid under.

She couldn't help but to chuckle, shaking her head in amusement as she leaned further into him, deciding to give him some peace of mind and keep quiet, at least for that night.

She would make sure of teasing him enough once the next day arrived, though.

[xerith-42]

An objectively too long post about Brian (for @mac-audcheese )

Uhm... Ah...

Okay no I can do this...

So like, Brain. He was born. Sorry, there's so little to work with I need to let this stew a little more I'll get something.

Okay! So! Brian. Brian is one of those characters that fan interpretation really needs to make work, and by fan interpretation I mean taking canon out to a farm where it has all the free time it wants to roam around, while you load the double barrel.

Because in canon Brian was the baby of Molly and Dale very abruptly in the early episodes, back when these characters were just villagers with extra dialogue options, and Aph could literally decide to marry them or make them hook up on a whim. And Brain came from that, so some re interpretation is necessary.

I love the idea of Brian being a natural born citizen of Phoenix Drop who's truly lived there all his life. He was always wanting to give back to his village, and decided to be like his father and become a guard. So once he's like 16, he's shipped off to the guard academy!

It's here that whatever changes, changes. What was that change? Uhm. Ah fuck. WAIT I GOT IT!! Okay as Zane is like trying to take over other villages in the background, he makes frequent visits to the guard academy to scope out those who may be future head guards. And most of them are pretty hyped about it, like their instructor says that the Zane Ro'maeve is observing their training session!!

Brian grew up while Phoenix Drop was alive and active, but he was also around the entire year that they were without a lord. He saw how a single accident can send an entire village spiraling out of control with little hope to recover. He knows the importance of a lord and it's why he wants to be a guard. When Zane hears that this one cadet is from Phoenix Drop, the first one from that village in years, he takes interest.

That's a name he hasn't heard in a while. And after having a single talk with Brian, Zane knows that he's got the entire village wrapped around his finger if he plays his cards right. He takes it upon himself to help oversee Brian's training and spends quite a bit of time speaking with the young cadet, about what it means to be a lord, to be a guard, to exist in this system. It's easy to twist said system in Zane's favor, explain the value of O'Khasis taking over Ru'aun and centralizing the entire system.

Cohesion in Ru'aun. O'Khasis having control means that villages can be better supported. If a lord dies, there's someone to replace them, or at least resources to keep a village going without one. Phoenix Drop would never be able to fall into ruin again. All Brian has to do is swear his loyalty to Zane, help him achieve this goal, and he has a Jury of Nine position in his future.

How could anyone say no to that?

Zane does warn him that the road to the Nether is pathed with good intentions. He might ask Brian to do some things that are... Questionable. And his lord might not agree with what Zane wants, something both of them have anticipated. Zane promised that when the smoke is clear, Brian will be rewarded for his efforts. When Zane has victory, O'Khasis will regard him as a hero.

And then Brian returns. He comes back and while everyone is happy he's returned, fully trained, ready to take the position, and nothing seems to be amiss. Except for Molly. Molly can tell something is off, but she can't put her finger on what. Brian was always quite naive and earnest, it's hard to tell what's so strange when he acts the same he always does.

Now this is where things get a little shaky. Because I think Zane can do a lot of manipulation, he is the king of manipulate mansplain malewife, but I don't know how far it would be able to go. A Jury of Nine position is great, but is it enough to sacrifice your own family? When Zane appears in Phoenix Drop, Brian realizes that Zane is willing to use force to make Aph submit to his rule, and that might involve hurting his family.

That's when Zane reveals to Brian before anyone else knows that this is a family matter. That he's ready to even threaten his own brother if he has to. Whatever it takes. Zane frames this as something he doesn't want to do, but rather must do in order to ensure O'Khasis and Ru'aun can prosper. A small price to pay for salvation type shit, and it's enough to win Brian over. And if Zane can stomach harming his own family, Brian should be able to do the same.

It's still hard to watch his sister be hurt. In fact, Zane instructed him to assist in evacuation of Phoenix Drop if things went south, largely so Brian didn't have to see what happened to Alexis and possibly doubt his dedication to Zane and O'Khasis. And when Zane leaves, Brian pretends to despise him with the rest of his family. It's an easy thing to do, but he doesn't enjoy it. Brian sincerely believes that Zane wants a brighter future and that his continued support is contributing to that.

The only time Brian doubts himself is when he goes upstairs in his home and sees his sister completely bedridden. She's breathing thanks to Irene's blessing, but he's afraid she won't wake up. But she has to. Zane promised him she would. He doesn't spend a lot of time home, preferring to busy himself with constant patrols and often falling asleep in one of the guard towers or sometimes he falls asleep at his post.

Whenever questioned on this behaviour by his family, he sells them the story that he just doesn't know if he can see her. He doesn't want to give himself false hope that she'll wake up in case she doesn't. He hates that he isn't even lying when he says it. He wishes he was.

And when Zane calls on him again, Brian is ready to answer. He's so sure that this is going to be worth it. It has to be. If he can't see this through-- He can't let himself think like that. He has to see it through. He'll follow any and all of Zane's orders.

Where does he go after betraying Phoenix Drop...? Great question! 😃 👍

Well, I'm legit out of ideas, it actually took a lot to come up with some of this. Usually I make these posts and just have a ton of ideas all at once, but with Brian I was checking back to the wiki and being disappointed constantly. He seems, I dunno, a little important but clearly Jess didn't think so. Hope I was able to get the ball rolling on fleshing out this character who desperately needs it.

[wolfgirl-sister]

Taken

His eyes lit up when he heard my name for the first time, and his jaw went slack in a silent gasp. I knew the words he would say before they even left his lips, those same words that had been in every romance movie I had ever seen: "I think... I think you might be her."

---

I've never been comfortable with the idea of soulmates.

"Don't worry!" My parents would tell me. "Once you meet him, it will all make sense!"

I didn't want it to make sense. Until I met the man whose name was marked on my body, I was not and could never be whole. The thought would keep me up sick with anxiety. I had an other half that I was separated from, rent asunder and if I couldn't find it, then I would never be happy.

"You'll meet him and your whole world will change!"

All my life, people blamed my unhappiness on being unable to find my one. Some even go so far as to pry for the name, thinking that if they just help, all will be well. That I'll forget how they treated me. A girl I used to call my friend once pulled down my pants to get a glimpse of my thigh, hoping to see the name for herself. My mark is so covered in scars that it's illegible. I can never make myself forget it.

Of all the people in my life, the only person who has ever been able to truly comfort me is my sister. She met her soulmate as a kid, at the time a rare and fortuitous occasion, but when they died in middle school, she was left truly and undeniably alone. She understood my frustration, knowing that while even a gaping wound would eventually heal, the knowledge that you're only half of what you should be will always stay fresh.

She understood the feeling of whispers behind your back, that you would never have a soulmate or that you hated the idea of having one. Her thigh has the same scattering of scars that leave their name unreadable. But more than that, she taught me how to move on. She helps me find value in myself as an independent woman in a society, and I remind her that we aren't broken.

Because of my sister, I don't care if I'm "complete". I don't care that I'm destined to meet someone who will fix the unfixable, who will make everything better. I am enough, for myself and for her.

She was my first kiss. And my second, and my third. I've stopped counting, but she's still keeping track. We carved our name in the other's thigh and swore it would be the last blood shed over a name. I'm too busy being enamored by the most beautiful woman alive. She fills me with joy and wonder, and every day I'm in awe of the fact that I have the opportunity to spend it with her.

---

I always knew this day would come. It's hard, but I look him in the eyes and my breath catches. My chest feels hollow, as if the only thing left inside me is my free-falling heart. I don't even have to ask for his name because my body knows he's The One.

"I'm sorry," I say, and adjust my bag, already taking a step past him. "I already have a soulmate."

---

Originally published on AO3 under WeaselWoosh

[wenclairfamily]

Super Romantic Wenclair Fanfiction Story: "What Wednesday Chose"

Wednesday Addams and Enid Sinclair. They were a duo that shouldn't have worked... but they did... and somehow their relationship resulted in marriage and children. For the last seventeen years of their marriage, life has moved at a breakneck pace for Wednesday and Enid; giving them little time to catch their breath for very long. However, now the two are finally able to take a long vacation... where they may learn new things about one another...

~19 Years Ago:

Teenage Wednesday Addams was laying on her bed in her dorm room at Nevermore Academy. Wednesday was wearing a long black night gown as she lay under her black blanket, with her eyes completely closed. Suddenly outside: loud thunder could be heard, as the light from lightning strikes nearby filled the room for quick moments. On the other side of the room: teenage Enid Sinclair lay awake under a pink blanket while wearing pink underwear, with a scared look in her eyes. As the sound of thunder got louder, Enid got more terrified as she stepped out of her bed. Enid then slowly walked towards Wednesday's bed, and with a frightened tone she said, "Wednesday... is the thunder keeping you up too?" While remaining completely still and keeping her eyes closed, Wednesday only moved her mouth as she said, "Actually, it was helping me sleep more soundly than usual until your nagging voice disrupting the soothing background noise awakened me."

As Enid looked very nervous she said, "I'm sorry. It's just... thunder and lightning have always scared me. I've learned to deal with it better as I've gotten older... but I've never heard thunder this loud before, and I... I know it's childish, but... can I sleep with you tonight?" Wednesday then opened her eyes, and turned her head to give Enid a glaring look as she said, "Enid, I am accustomed to sleeping in total peace as the experience of being completely unconscious is the closest thing I can experience to death while living. However that peace could easily be disrupted if..." Then suddenly the loudest sound of thunder was heard outside. A scared Enid screamed in terror, jumped into Wednesday's bed, and immediately hugged her tightly. Wednesday rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration... but reluctantly remained still... and slowly closed her eyes as she allowed Enid to remain in bed with her.

~Present Day:

Wednesday and Enid were walking up a tall mountain together. Wednesday was wearing a black t-shirt and black shorts, while Enid was wearing a pink t-shirt and white shorts; with both women wearing backpacks. As the two married woman walked beside one another, a smiling Enid said, "Wow. Look at that view around us. Now taking a long hike into the mountains... this is how I wanted us to spend a vacation together." Wednesday kept a straight face as she said, "Agreed. The long amount of walking has caused great strain to my muscles, and is pushing me to a point of near dehydration and exhaustion. It is indeed feels quite wonderful."

Then a smiling Enid held Wednesday's hand as she said, "Well, whatever we do... I'm just glad we're doing it together. Whether we're laying together in bed, or staging a prison riot together... I will always love you Wednesday Addams." Wednesday however said nothing as she continued to walk alongside Enid. Enid then glanced at Wednesday as she said, "And now you're supposed to say something equally romantic to me." Wednesday then glanced at Enid with a deadpan expression while saying, "And I... value your continued existence Enid." Enid sighed a bit, but then smiled as she said, "You're allowed to say I love you back to me. You've said it before Wednesday. It wouldn't kill you to try saying it again."

Then suddenly the two heard the sound of a roaring beast. Emerging from a nearby cave was a huge bear like monster that could stand upright; with razor sharp claws, fangs in it's mouth, red eyes, and dark red fur. The monster ran at the two women, as a smiling Wednesday said, "Finally. Something truly enjoyable." Then End had her wolf claws appear from her hands as she said, "Don't worry Wens. I'll..." Then the bear monster immediately smacked Enid hard, and sent her flying to the ground very hurt. Wednesday meanwhile had a look of confidence in her face as she said, "Prepared yourself creature to be sent to hell." Then Wednesday took out a sword and ran towards the bear monster.

Then just as Wednesday swung her sword, the bear monster surprisingly jumped over Wednesday... and then the bear monster used it's claw to hit Wednesday very hard in the head. Wednesday then fell to the ground, as her head hit a large rock while she landed. As a hurt Enid tried to get up, she immediately saw Wednesday had been knocked out, and that a large deep wound was now exposed on the side of her head, causing blood to pour from it. As Enid tried to crawl towards Wednesday, fear and terror went across her face as she said, "No! Oh God, no! Please don't be dead Wednesday! Oh God, please don't be dead!"

Suddenly an old woman in a white toga ran onto the scene while holding a large white scepter. The old woman then swung her scepter at the bear monster several times, immediately injuring it. The old woman then yelled, "Begone beast!" The hurt bear monster made a growling noise, and then reluctantly ran away. As the old women turned to look at Enid, she said, "The beast is gone for now. Do you require help?" As Enid crawled towards Wednesday, she said, "I'll be okay. But my wife is really hurt. Please help her!"

The old woman then walked over to the hurt Wednesday. As the old woman put her hand over the bloody wound on Wednesday's head, she said, "Your wife has been gravely hurt. The beast has given her a deep wound. The claws penetrated deep into her head, and damaged key portions of her brain." As Enid looked completely scared, she said, "She's suffering from brain damage!? No. No! We have to do something." The old woman then looked at Enid as she said, "Listen. I am a mystic medicine woman. As long as a person is not fully dead, I can heal many wounds modern medicine cannot. However with this type of brain damage, I can only heal a person's wound with someone that is of the same heart as them. If you are indeed her wife: then you two are of the same heart; which means my mystic abilities can use your mind to repair hers. But only with your consent."

A desperate looking Enid then said, "Fine. I consent. Just please save my wife now!" The old mystic woman then put both of her hands on Wednesday and Enid's heads. Suddenly, all three of them began to glow. Then there was a flash... and suddenly Wednesday's wound on her head was completely gone. The old mystic woman stood up and then said, "I have used my mystic abilities and your mind to heal your wife. Now then, I must go. It is my duty to remain on these hills, and help those that are attacked by the beast." The old mystic woman then walked away, while Enid realized Wednesday was breathing... but still wasn't waking up. Enid then got out her phone, dialed a number, and then said, "Hello. Yes, me and my wife were just attacked by a beast on Raven Stone Mountain. We survived with some help, but we still need help. Please, we need an emergency helicopter right away!"

***

Wednesday laid asleep on a hospital bed (wearing a black hospital gown), while Enid sat by her side in a nearby chair. Wednesday eventually opened her eyes, and began to look around as she said, "What happened?" A relieved and happy Enid then said, "Wednesday, thank God you're okay! Despite being healed by that weird mystic medicine woman, I wasn't sure if you'd ever wake up." Wednesday then slowly sat up as she said, "Come on Enid. I've survived being nearly killed by Laurel Gates, Joseph Crackstone, several demons, cat monsters, a shtriga, an army of lizard creatures and sirens, and a dark alternate universe version of myself. I wasn't about to meet my end from some bear." A happy Enid then said, "Well, I'm glad I'm gonna be able to call the rest of the family now and say you're okay. They'll all be so so happy... especially Ana, since you staying alive longer ensures she gets a bigger inheritance." Then Wednesday laughed loudly, and then smiled as she said, "Oh, Ana. That daughter of ours is such a genius, and such a schmuck at the same time."

Enid suddenly had a confused and freaked out look on her face, as her eyes widened while she said, "Wednesday... you just laughed. I have never heard you laugh... ever. What just caused that!?" Wednesday then casually said, "I don't know. You said something funny, and I just laughed at it. Ooo. Does this hospital serve chocolate ice cream!? I am so having a craving for chocolate ice cream right now. Also, is there anyway I can get out of this hospital gown? I so need to go into town and find something really sexy to wear for our dinner date tonight." Enid suddenly looked terrified as she said, "What is going here!? Were you drinking wine again before you got hurt? Are you an alternate universe version of my wife!? Did you disguise your soul again with an alternate personality because some demon is hunting you!? Explain yourself!" Wednesday however looked confused as she said, "Whoa Enid. Chill. I'm just being me. My mind feels fine." Then a look of clarity went across Enid's face as she said, "Hold on. Your mind..."

***

Enid was sitting in an office in front of an older male doctor. The older male doctor held some scans out as he said, "Well Ms Addams, I took those detailed scans as you requested; and then looked at the last detailed scan done on your wife years ago. You're right. Something has changed with her brain." Enid looked nervous as she said, "But I don't get it. What changed? How did it get changed!?" Then old doctor then said, "Well... out of curiosity, I looked at the scans done on your own brain... and it would seem part of your wife's brain has been restructured somehow to resemble yours now. It's like nothing I've ever seen." Another look of clarity went across Enid's face as she said, "Wait. That old mystic woman. She said her special powers would heal Wednesday's mind with my own. I... I think her powers scanned my brain, and then used that as a template for what the damaged parts of Wednesday's brain were supposed to look like." The older doctor then said, "That's the best theory I have as well."

Then a confused and worried Enid said, "But... what does this mean? Is my wife some weird mental clone of me now?" The doctor turned his head and said, "No. The areas of the brain that contain Wednesday's memories are unaltered. However, the parts of the mind that are used to process new information and regulate emotion are what have changed. Your wife is still who she is. Her personality however is just a bit different now." Then suddenly a smiling Wednesday walked into the room as she excitedly said, "Hey Enid. Come take a selfie with me. You know, I just realized I have like millions of followers on Instagram; and yet have barely posted anything. We totally have to change that!" Enid then turned to look at her doctor, and with a concerned voice she said, "Doc, I think more than just my wife's personality has changed."

***

Early that evening, Wednesday and Enid walked into a fancy restaurant together. Enid was wearing a white dress, while Wednesday was wearing a similar dress that was pink. Enid kept turning her head to look at Wednesday's pink outfit, while a confused looking Wednesday noticed this and said, "Anything wrong?" Enid quickly turned her head and said, "Nothing. Just... not used to seeing you in that color." As Wednesday examined her dress, she said, "Yeah. I guess pink has never been my thing before. But now... it just feels so right." Then Wednesday noticed one person sitting at a table was holding a small dog in their lap. Wednesday then glared at the dog as she said, "That person brought a dog into this restaurant!?" Then Enid rolled her eyes and said, "Well I guess her real personality had to be unlocked by something." Then Wednesday immediately approached the person holding the small dog, and said, "Aww. Your little pooch is so cute!" The person holding the small dog said, "Really? Thanks. He's my emotional support animal; which is why they let him in."

Soon, Wednesday and Enid sat at a table together. A smiling Wednesday then looked at Enid as she said, "This is nice. You and me eating at a fancy place. Why don't we do this more often?" Then a confused looking Enid said, "Because you've told me countless times that agreeing to pay for overpriced food that we could make ourselves for 90 percent less money helps perpetuate the growing issue with the wealthy wasting their money on overpriced goods instead of improving the state of our near meaningless world." A smiling Wednesday then said, "I really said that? Well... maybe that's true... but isn't it fun to sometimes go to places like this and be served like we're princesses!?" Enid looked a little hesitant to smile as she said, "Well... yeah, it is."

***

Some time later, Wednesday and Enid were finishing their desert as a happy Wednesday said, "Oh God, that chocolate sundae was so freaking good! Why don't we ever eat stuff like that more often!?" Enid raised one eyebrow as she said, "Because you've often said you loathe the American ideal of paying higher prices for food that's designed to kill us more quickly." Then Wednesday shrugged as she said, "I guess that's true... but I also guess I now love sundaes. Thank you for recommending we do all this tonight Enid. I don't know where I'd be without you." Enid made a little smile as she casually said, "You'd probably have taken over the world by now if you didn't have me and the kids holding you back." Then Wednesday looked directly at Enid as she said, "No, you don't get it Enid. I... I feel like I'd be nowhere without you. I mean... you mean everything to me. You remember my first semester at Nevermore Academy, when we snuck into the Gates mansion that one night?" Enid nodded her head as she said, "Yeah. Tyler, who we didn't know was a Hyde yet, nearly killed us. You also lost your snood I made you... not that you really liked it."

Then Wednesday bent down as she went into her purse... and then pulled out her black snood as she said, "I went back to retrieve it the next day, and had Thing fix it." Enid's eyes widened with surprise, while Wednesday said, "Maybe I didn't like wearing it... but the fact that it was a gift from you... meant everything to me. In fact... after that night in the mansion, when we had our first fight and you left our dorm room... I curled up into a ball... and after hours of remaining still, and making sure absolutely no one could hear me... I cried. It was the first time I had done so since Nero had died. I think it was only then that I first realized deep down... I loved you Enid... because you only cry over losing the people you deeply care about." Enid's eyes widened in surprise as she said, "I... I never knew. I never realized."

Then Wednesday reached over and had one of her hands touch Enid's as she said, "Then know this. Enid... you are the one who makes my life better every day. For my entire life... I felt like my soul was always on the edge of being pulled too deep into darkness. For my entire life, all I could see was the evils in humanity in any person I met. Every day I saw a world burning, and kept seeing new things that made me want to wish I wish I would just finally kill myself. It became so much that every night I dreamed - I heard my inner self screaming every second I was subconscious. But then... there was you Enid. Despite being turned off from your bright colors and some of your odd habits at first... I saw you as pure light... the only pure light strong enough to keep my heart from being overwhelmed by the darkness. You were real, you were pure, you were true, and you were the first person I ever met that made me better, and made me want to keep being better. Also, thanks to you... the screaming in my subconscious finally stopped several years ago... and even though I still feel like so much of the world is still dark and burning... you've become my ultimate light of goodness I seek in the dark burning storm. You're more than my wife Enid. You're my soul mate, my comfort, my pleasure, my eternal companion, my world... my everything."

Enid's eyes had slowly widened as Wednesday finished speaking. Tears then began to come from her eyes, as Enid covered her mouth with both her hands. Then after a moment, Enid slowly lifted her hands down as she said, "Wednesday, I... I had no idea that all this time you truly..." Wednesday interrupted Enid as she said, "Well, I was never good at heartfelt speeches. But... it just suddenly feels easy for me now." As more tears appeared in Enid's eyes, she leaned over the table and kissed Wednesday. Then once the kiss ended, a smiling Wednesday then said, "You know... the only regret I have is that our relationship started on such unusual rocky ground. I wish I could go back in time to my first year at Nevermore Academy, and tell you in a more proper way how I felt about you. In fact... would you mind if I did that right now?" Then a curious and smiling Enid said, "You mean like role play we're teenagers again? Sure, I'm down for that."

Then a grinning Wednesday said, "Okay. So... imagine we're at Nevermore Academy right before we were all sent home at the end of my first semester there. I've just been given a cell phone by Xavier, and we're about to say our final goodbyes before I get into my family's limo. Now... go ahead." Then a smiling Enid turned her head away for a moment, and then turned to look right back at Wednesday as she said, "Well... see ya later roomy. I'll miss you." Then Wednesday put on a pretend nervous face as she said, "Enid... there's something I need to tell you. I know in the grand scheme of our lives, we've practically just met, and we still need more time to get to know each other, but... despite only just recently meeting... there's something important I need to tell you." Then a curious looking Enid smiled as she said, "What is it Wednesday?" Then violin music at a moderate tempo began to play nearby as a grinning Wednesday said, "You know... I've hated wishes all my life. They always gave me a fright. But as I look at this sight, I see great change for my life. Now I'd give my soul for a wish, for maybe one special kiss. I wasn't looking for this, but now you're in my way." Then as a guitar player and string quarter appeared in the restaurant playing accompanying music, a confused looking Enid said, "Wednesday, what's going on?

Then a grinning Wednesday began to sing, "Your grin was holding. Pretty dress, claws were spouting. Blood moon, werewolf howling. Where you think you're going baby?" Then Wednesday jumped out of her seat and was joined by a surprise flash mob of dancers as she looked straight at Enid while singing, "Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my number. So call me maybe. It's hard to look right, at you baby. But here's my number. So call me maybe." Enid meanwhile had a big happy smile on her face, as Wednesday and her flash mob were doing a precise synchronized dance, while a happy Wednesday sang, "Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my number. So call me maybe. And all those other boys, tried to chase me. But here's my number. So call me maybe."

Then a happy Enid jumped out of her seat laughing, and then hugged Wednesday. Many people in the restaurant applauded and cheered. Then once Enid was done hugging Wednesday, she asked, "Where did you hire a band and a flash mob so quickly?" Then a grinning Wednesday said, "Well apparently having my autobiography turned into a Netflix show has made me kind of famous. Also, it didn't dawn on me till now if I just asked people for favors very sweetly and nicely, a lot more people are willing to help you. So now then... shall we return to our hotel room?" Then Enid made a big excited smile as she said, "Yes, we shall!"

***

Wednesday and Enid lay naked next to one another in bed as a very pleased Enid said, "Wow Wednesday. Just… wow. I mean… it's not like we did any type of new positions, but… the way you moved your fingers and the way you kissed me… it was like I was having sex with you for the first time all over again. I mean just now you were so… soft, gentle, and patient. It felt so… magical." As Wednesday grinned, she said, "Enid, my love… you only deserve someone that loves you the way you love." Suddenly the two women heard screaming outside. The two women quickly got out of bed, and began to put their underwear on as they looked outside a nearby window. The two then saw the bear monster from earlier was in the middle of town running at people. As individuals fled in terror, a worried Enid said, "The monster is back. Come on. We have to do something."

***

A fully clothed Wednesday and Enid stood near the corner of an alley as they saw the bear monster slowly coming towards them. Enid then glanced at Wednesday as she said, "A lot of people are gonna be hurt if we don't do something. Okay... I'll wolf out and distract the creature. We're not in an open area this time, so I should be able to distract it. As I attack, you run up from behind with your sword and stab him to death." Wednesday suddenly looked shocked as she said, "Whoa! You want me to kill that creature!? But... what if that bear has a family with cubs that depend on it?" A confused Enid then said, "What the heck are you talking about Wednesday!? You never brought up these thoughts when you attacked monsters we faced in the past." Then a worried looking Wednesday said, "Oh God, I didn't. The Shtriga monster and all those lizard creatures I killed... what if they had offspring who then had to grow up without their parents? Oh my God! Am I the monster!?"

Then suddenly the old mystic woman ran onto the scene holing her scepter out. The old mystic woman hit the bear monster with scepter several times, causing the now injured bear to roar in pain. Then the bear monster used it's claws to hit the old mystic woman in the back, causing her to scream. The bear monster, which was also hurt, then ran away while growling. Enid then quickly ran over to the old mystic woman as she said, "Are you okay?" The old mystic woman slowly sat up as she said, "I will live... but I am not okay. I have been keeping that beast at bay for fifty years now, but that was the first time the creature has actually laid a claw on me. I am apparently finally too old for this. I have tried to keep the creature away from this town all my life without killing it... but it would seem we must finally end it's existence for the good of the many. The creature will likely return soon, so we must prepare. Do you know of someone that is capable of this task?" Enid then glanced at a nervous looking Wednesday while saying, "I thought I knew someone that was capable of that... but now I don't know..."

***

In an old abandoned warehouse, the old mystic woman laid against a wall looking weak, while Enid sat next to her. Wednesday meanwhile stood nearby at an open doorway looking concerned as she said, "What do I do if that monster comes back? It's my enemy... but I'm also it's enemy. Am I in the right if others believe me not to be?" Meanwhile Enid looked at the old mystic woman as she said, "So now my wife is caught in an ethical dilemma loop. It's like her dark memories and new bright personality are starting to become incompatible. What's going on with her?" The old mystic woman looked confused as she said, "I've never seen this happen before. Whenever I heal the wounds between loved ones, they always go back to normal. However... the way you describe your wife before I healed her... she doesn't sound anything like you."

Enid sighed, and then said, "Yeah, I'm aware of how different we both are. Look... is there a way you can restore my wife back to the way she was? To stop this creature, I think the tipping point is gonna require someone as dark and twisted as the true Wednesday Addams to save us." The old woman looked a bit concerned as she said, "Well... my magic scanned the structure of your mind to heal your wife earlier; which is indeed what caused her mind to become more like yours. Now with time, her old memories will better adapt to her new personality. However... if I perhaps focused on scanning all your memories of how your wife once was... that will cause her brain to snap back to the way it was. But I must say... anyone would think you'd be pleased to finally have a spouse that thinks and acts just like you. Why would you want your wife to return to the dark and twisted individual she used to be?"

Enid looked down for a moment, sighed, took a deep long breath, and then looked straight at the old mystic woman as she said, "Because that's who she is. That's the woman I chose to fall in love with... and that's the woman who chose to fall in love with me. Yes, sometimes I wish Wednesday was a little more... normal. There are moments occasionally when I wish Wednesday could understand my feelings better, and also be able to more clearly express hers. There are moments sometimes where Wednesday says and does certain uncomfortable things, and I wish she could fully grasp how uncomfortable those things she says and does makes me. There are days where I wish for just a split second that Wednesday could act just like me... but that's not who she is... and that's okay. Wednesday Addams is a cold and dark woman who barely knows how to grasp emotions and feelings... but despite all that... she still chose to marry me. The woman who had practically no room in her heart to love anyone... fell in love with me... and knowing that I was the one and only person in the world that Wednesday Addams chose to fall in love with... makes me the happiest woman in existence every day... even though I can't fully share in that happiness with her."

The old mystic woman sighed as she looked down for a moment. Wednesday then walked over the two, and sat down with a smiling face while saying, "Hey Enid. Sorry I've been so scattered brained today. You've been so understanding and supportive with me. Honestly... of all the things I've told you today, there's one very important thing about my feelings I still haven't said yet. You see..." Suddenly the old mystic woman put her hands on both Wednesday and Enid's heads. Wednesday immediately stopped talking as the three women's bodies glowed. As Wednesday looked like she was caught in a trance, a smiling Enid said, "I love you Wednesday Addams... but I can't love a woman who isn't 100 percent the real Wednesday Addams." A worried looking Wednesday then opened her mouth as she said, "Enid, I... I..." A smiling Enid then put one finger on Wednesday's mouth as she said, "Shh. It's okay. You'll tell me how you feel in your own way."

Suddenly the bear monster burst through a wall in the building and made a loud roaring noise. Just as the three women stopped glowing, Enid stood up and yelled, "I got this! Raaa!" Then Enid quickly wolfed out. Her body within seconds became a tall strong werewolf as she ran towards the bear monster. Enid threw several punches at the bear monster, but the bear monster deflected each attack with it's claws. Then the bear monster punched Enid in the stomach several times, causing Enid to lose her breath. Enid tried to attack again, but the bear monster quickly grabbed Enid and threw her hard to the ground. The bear monster then raised it's claws up ready to give a deadly blow to Enid, while a hurt Enid laid on the ground looking scared.

Then suddenly... Wednesday Addams jumped up with her sword in her hand... and immediately cut the bear monster's head off. Blood spat into the air and hit Wednesday's face and clothing, as the monster's body fell to the ground. Wednesday then stood still for a moment; a cold unfeeling look on her face, a sword in her hand, and spats of blood covering her face and body. Wednesday then looked down at Enid, and with a practical tone to her voice, Wednesday plainly said, "The creature is dead, the town is now safe, and we have survived. Let us return to our hotel room now." Enid then transformed back to her regular human form, and began to put a spare change of clothes on. However as she did, Enid had a small look of sadness in her eyes.

~19 Years Ago:

Teenage Wednesday Addams was typing on her type writer in her dorm room at Nevermore Academy, while all alone. Teenage Enid then suddenly walked into the dorm room as she said, "Hey. You missed a great party in Yoko's dorm. Anyway, I am so tired from all the dancing. I am heading straight to bed." Wednesday kept a straight face as she said, "Excellent. Perhaps I shall get a decent amount of sleep tonight, instead of hearing your music blasting from your ear buds. Now then... I must procure a new blanket for myself before heading to bed. Thing apparently cut up my old one in an attempt to build a small 'house' for himself." Enid then made a warm smile as she said, "You know... you could sleep with me in my bed to keep warm. That one time we slept together the other week... that was the most comfortable and deepest sleep I ever felt." Wednesday however looked slightly annoyed and worried as she said, "I... I... I would prefer to look for one of my spare blankets first."

Wednesday then went into her closet, as a smiling Enid said, "Well... the offer still stands indefinitely in case you change your mind." Then Enid laid down in her bed while laying on her side, with her back facing Wednesday's closet. Within minutes: Enid's eyes were closed, and her body was motionless. Then Wednesday slowly came out of the closet... and while wearing a black night gown, she slowly approached Enid's bed. Wednesday then stood still for a moment as she looked down at Enid. Then Wednesday moving slowly... got into Enid's bed, pulled the blanket over her body... and then laid beside Enid while hugging her. Wednesday's eyes then slowly closed as she drifted to sleep. However soon after Wednesday was fully asleep... Enid's eyes opened and she made a happy smile...

~Present Day:

Wednesday and Enid laid in their hotel bed naked together, as they had a blanket covering the lower halves of their bodies. As the two faced each other, a tired Wednesday said, "Tomorrow we shall head out and search for a group of criminals that my informants have told me are seeking to resurrect an ancient demon that once posed as a God to the local villagers' ancestors. We must ensure we carry extra holy water and explosives with us." Enid made a little smirk as she said, "Let me guess. In your mind, this is the perfect way to end our romantic vacation together." Wednesday kept a completely straight face as she said, "Of course it is. Now then... we must begin to sleep if we are to go into battle with sound mind and body tomorrow." Wednesday then closed her eyes as she moved her body into a comfortable sleeping position. Enid then made a warm smile as she said, "Is there anything else you wanna say to me?" As Wednesday's voice began to sound a bit groggy, she said, "No." Enid chuckled a bit, and then said, "Do you remember what you were gonna tell me before the old mystic woman fixed you up?" Wednesday began to drift to sleep, as she softly said, "No." Then after a minute of silence passed, a smiling Enid then said, "Wednesday?" However Wednesday was now fully asleep and didn't respond. Enid then simply laid her head on her pillow, and looked at her wife as she said, "Thank you for choosing me." Then Enid finally closed her own eyes, and the two married woman fell asleep beside one another.

THE END

...

...or maybe not...

EPILOGUE:

Wednesday laid asleep in bed, as her body began to toss and turn. As Wednesday slept, a very vivid dream began to enter her mind. In the dream, Wednesday saw herself in a dark place. Suddenly a dark cloaked figure began to walk towards her, as a mysterious sounding voice said, "How does it feel Wednesday Addams... to finally be completely defeated by the last person you ever expected to overpower you!?" Wednesday then suddenly opened her eyes, and saw she was still in the hotel bed next to Enid. Wednesday breathed heavily for a moment... and then closed her eyes while softly saying to herself, "That... that had to be dream. There is no chance that could have been an actual vision of the future. It... it simply wasn't..." Then Wednesday tried to drift back to sleep... while the memory of her recent dream continued to linger in her mind...

*Opening pictured created with AI

*Last two pictures created by @annietheartsyartist

[anryuuepic]

Test Subject: Venus Bio

Name: Test Subject Venus

Species: Daryan

Race: Redscale

Role: A Test Subject of Winterkill Works, and one of two whose powers didn’t backfire. Though she’s a sensible, caring person at her core, the stress of her current environment is steadily degrading her mental health. Considered a useful tool to Winterkill because of the abilities she gained. 

Affiliation: Winterkill Works

Gender: Female

Age: 31

Height: 5’1

Appearance: Venus is a short woman with rather plain looks. She has dirty-blonde, neck-length hair with a somewhat coarse texture, kept in a straight bob that flares out toward the ends. Her eyes are a light, rosy, warm-hued shade of pink, and her features are sweet in a way that makes her look younger than she is. Nervousness often shows in her posture.

Personality: Venus is sensible, practical, and routine-oriented. Though generally calm, she’s easily frustrated by the antics of people around her (and known to have a bit of a short temper), especially when she knows she’ll have to deal with the mess that’s left behind. She’s gentle and compassionate, and despite claiming to dislike the task, often ends up taking care of those who need it, whether they ask her for help or not. Emotionally sensitive, she’s prone to taking on responsibilities and feelings of guilt that she rationally shouldn’t. Stress gets to her quickly, but she’s also resilient enough to get through that stress with little lasting damage. Modest, open-minded, and cooperative, she’s easy to be around and easy to trust. 

Positive Traits: Venus does her best to be a decent person— though more in terms of personal values than any greater moral code. She’s naturally inclined to sympathy, which extends to treating people well even when they very much don’t deserve it. She’s level-headed and rational, patient with people and circumstances alike, and works for solutions, no matter how small. Caretaking comes easily to her (though she doesn’t always like that fact), and she’s generally as trustworthy, reliable, and easy to be around.

Negative Traits: One of Venus’s most harmful traits is her recurring tendency to take blame for things that she shouldn’t. Even when she knows better, she’s prone to second-guessing herself and finding reasons to worry, and once she’s started down that path, it’s hard to stop. She often takes on too much work or makes commitments that she knows she’ll regret, just because she can’t bring herself to say no. She can also be short-tempered and rather bossy, assuming she has to take control to fix a situation. 

History: Before Winterkill Works, Venus worked in a management position in a fairly rural Daryan town. Though it was initially uneventful, the war’s end brought new chaos, in the form of social unrest, financial difficulties, and more. As part of a deal with the Guard’s science division, in exchange for funds directed to the town, Venus was supposedly transferred to a similar job within it— except, as she quickly found out, the real “job” involved serving as a test subject for Winterkill’s ambitious experiments. 

Relationships: Venus can and does manage decent relationships with most of the people around her. She doesn’t always enjoy their company (she actively dislikes many of them, in fact), but her personality and willingness to help make her likable to most. Since she’s often forced to play nurse for many of the other Test Subjects, she’s gotten to know them all fairly well, though her closest friendship in Winterkill Works by far is with Bacchus.

Interests: Venus likes peaceful days, her region’s style of home cooking, and being able to work alone. She dislikes urban areas, unexpected changes in plans, and arguments. Since ending up at Winterkill Works, she’s ended up spending most of her “free time” checking in on the other test subjects. 

WW Role: As one of the specially selected Test Subjects, Venus was given a particular experimental power. In her case, that power is a functionally “perfect” immune system that renders her immune to sickness and infection of nearly any variety. She’s one of two true successes among the Test Subjects, whose powers didn’t come with some kind of horrible cost. 

Miscellaneous: Though she tries not to think about it, Venus can’t shake the fear that someday, her power will backfire like so many of the rest. Irrational as it is, she worries that the other test subjects resent her for coming out unscathed when they’ve suffered so greatly. Venus initially became friends with Bacchus because of their shared background in small-scale government, but by now, she considers Bacchus a close friend on a far more personal level. Though she claims to be annoyed by “nurse duty”, looking after the other test subjects keeps her mind well-occupied.

Connotative Description: A practical and pleasant person whose care for others is often fueled by an irrational sense of guilt. The “sane man” of the Test Subjects, in a sense, but troubled by her situation in more subtle ways.